#and I’m not even talking about my ten million fictional crushes

[bleuu-moon]

why do u get so much more desperate over dick when you know you can’t get it

[jiminrings]

homebound

pairing: yoongi x y/n

glimpse: race car driver!yoongi is a tiny bit fond of pit stop crew!y/n, grumpy crew chief!jimin will be the bANE of your existence, and jungkook is ur saving grace for bumper stickers whenever u wanna surprise yoongi :D

wordcount: 21k

notes: ok if u know charlie leclerc from F1, he was the inital reason why i wanted to write this au with yoongi!! think of this as an au with a mix of F1-level type of class and racing, but with a NASCAR type of pit crew that only has five members instead of formula one’s twenty!! i also asked my close friend for info since she’s an avid f1 fan to add on to my prior knowledge!! this is a work of fiction and accuracy does nOt always result to fun so pls just enjoy this!!! i also made a poll to what i should write next and this was one of the options and tHEN d-2 dropped and i was !!! ok it’s settled then // pic is from pinterest but i just edited it since it looked like it was shot with a 3210 hihi

also: you can talk to my characters!!! send in an ask anytime :D

(๑>◡<๑)

jungkook, as a person, is an excellent one

he’s talented, he’s kind, he’s driven, he’s gonna buy you your meal when you don’t have enough cash on you and would say “yA PAY ME BACK LATER” but in the end, he’ll just wave it off and say “nah i was kidding it’s my treat :D”

he’s also h*ndsome but you won’t say that again and again because his ego?? his bragging rights?? what then

jungkook, as a friend, is a fun, attentive, food-inhaling and money-draining carebear that can be pERSUASIVE if he needs to be

he lets u have the last slice of pizza!! or the last pringle or the last pearl in the massive cup of milktea you split with two straws and a giant butter croissant

he holds the umbrella up for the two of you when it’s raining and you’re sharing it

if he feels extra kind then he’ll be in the side in which there are more splatters and puddles to go through

if he feels like a sAINT then yes he may piggyback u but only if u hold up the umbrella because he’s a saint not four-arms from ben ten

7/10 times that he screenshots what’s in his cart but wouldn’t checkout, he genuinely just wants to show you because he’s excited and when you dO decide to get it for him, whether it was an actual shock or he just kept sending you screenshots until you got the hint, he makes sure to hug you until you physically can’t breathe anymore

he once saw this you liked that didn’t become your boyfriend because it turns out you were just a bet and you’re only worth a month of fucking gatorade

you’re not the most confident person ever in the worls but you’re sURE

you are worth more than month’s supply of glacier freeze for a no thoughts, head empty football jock senior

jungkook was sure too

if ur gonna be an asshat that he’s gonna hate anyway, aTLEAST make it cool blue because that belongs to top tier

he made sure he went to TOWN on that punching bag while looking at that dude

whatever he did, jungkook did with much more power and intensity and he is still maintaning eye contact after the airhead caught on and recognized him

HE NEVER SAW THE DUDE IN THE GYM AFTER

jungkook, as an athlete, is a beast and u gotta admit that

he played basketball in college while u played softball!!!

you were handpicked by your coach if you wanna try out for this once in a lifetime career opportunity aND it was sketchy at first

u kept asking on what was it about but all she said was “that’s for you to know.,.,., if you wanna accept the offer :))” and you were eventually driven to the edge because you wanted to know so badly

and then it turns out u were the ONLY one in your softball team to be handpicked as she said and then u were instructed to go to the gym in which there were chairs lined up

oh god is this a cult

there were a couple other people too and you could recognize some of them from the swimming team and this girl from weighlifting and that dude from football

they too did not have any idea at aLL

you just decided to sit by the last row... y’know... just in case....

and then jungkook strolls in confused as fUCK but in the same time excited and he sits beside you because he’s thinking the same thing of what if this was sketchy shit!!

you just knew him then because he looked familiar and you may have seen him asleep in your calc class a couple of times

and also because his hair was peach

how could u possibly forget that aha

“oH i like your uniform!!”

jungkook immediately spoke what was on his mind and pointed to your softball uniform u were still in and then your response was to freeze

ok that might have been too forward and-

“i know right?? oH MY GOD!! i signed up for softball in the first place because the uniform was sO COOL!!”

“bro i joined basketball because i heard that tHE WARMERS WERE SO SOFT”

:D

and then a friendship was born

the both of you were not thinking anymore about the fact that you’re both in a gym with no instructions whatsoever bc you’re too excited to be talking about what’s happening!!!

you joined a sport jUST for their uniforms?? oh my god i did that TOO

turns out that jungkook was actually great at basketball and he just knew then

also turned out that u were a gifted natural in softball even if you didn’t fully grasp the mechanics at first

“but when do i oH IS IT MY TIME TO RUN??? no?? not yet?? oh aha yeah i guess i run that fast :D”

the two of you bonded so good that it was immediately decided that u are really meant to be friends with each other

sometimes people mistake the both of you as a couple and u know what,,, sometimes the two of you take advantage of that because a fREE DESSERT?? ice cream on the house?? celebratory cake because jungkook one time jokingly went down on one knee and proposed a ring pop to you that he just saw LYING on the ground???

don’t mind if u do :)))

jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member, is a really comforting (and sometimes annoying) presence

he doesn’t question when you get whiney from the fatigue settling in and instead? he just whines with you!!

the impromptu meeting in the gym? it was actually an orientation and introduction to try out for a pit stop crew program for this really really popular racing organization :D

athletes were in-demand because the discipline and the speed and the skills were needed

and you were filtered furthermore and it just ended up with only the handful of you

of course you could opt out but if you do pursue to go through, and if you do exceptionally good, then you might just be one of the two people they’re gonna hire as a part of the pit stop crew after you graduate!!

god training was rigorous and the practical test was even more nerve-wracking

you were put in pairs and in groups to see how the camaraderie and teamwork would show and bEST BELIEVE THAT YOU AND JUNGKOOK.,.,.

exceptional

breathtaking

best work

not to toot your own horn or anything ://

aha and those two positions? of course it went to the two of you!!

but jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member but for your oPPONENT TEAM is beyond irking

you see...

it was guaranteed that you and jungkook would be accepted into the organization

what wasn’t guaranteed, however, is that the two of you would be a member of the same pit crew

u found that hIGHLY confusing because what for... you guys saw how kook and i work together.... don’t you want that idk intact?????

“hobi-hyung’s gonna win this time. i guarantee you that. i bet you HALF of my food allowance”

hobi aka jung hoseok is a force to be reckoned with

you always see him in races and u know enough about him because jungkook just won’t shut up about how great he is!!

he’s a very giggly and joyful person and sometimes you just can’t help smiling when you see him getting interviewed over by their spot

kook’s introduced you to hobi a couple of times eagerly now and hobi does not!! forget!! names!!

it’s a lil conflict of interest for you and jungkook to be openly best friends while being in oppositing teams, but that doesn’t seem to stop heh

hoseok shook your hand firmly and eVEN added another hand so your hand is sandwiched by his and he has a permanent :D on his face

u immediately got why jungkook was so fascinated and happy to be working with him

“i mean nO offense to hobi, kook, and he’s like a rEALLY really great guy and a great driver and i have tons of respect for him also i totally get why you’re whipped for him bUT-“

“ᵒᵏ ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ”

“he’s great, but not min yoongi great!!”

he already had that coming

how can jungkook not anticipate that when you have said that to him a million times already

that guy barely even talks to you but he’s so chatty with literally Everyone But You

he has a theory

theorieS actually

ok first one is that ur a guardian angel for yoongi

WAIT NO HEAR HIM OUT FOR A SEC

you just gravitate towards him!! you wanna be around yoongi as much as you can in non-stalker way but rATHER in guardian angel ways

you and jungkook are almost always in the same place at the same time given your jobs

also sketchy for kook because it could be seven in the evening and you’d call him using the hotel phone and go

“eY JUNGKOOK do u wanna come with me to this pub :) to celebrate yoongi’s win today :) do you :) please :) say yes pls :)”

“y/n baby hOW many time do i have to remind you that i am yOUR team’s opponent,,, jung hoseok is the OPPONENT of min yoongi,,,”

“... how many drinks do u want”

...

...

“fINE i’m gonna wear a hoodie again and i’ll get a cab to tail your team’s car and i’ll come inside the pub five minutes after again and tHEN i’ll pretend to bump into you. a g a i n”

plus you always have the heart eyes for yoongi no matter how blank he is with you or frustrated he gets after a sucky race

second theory: you’re not a guardian angel; you probably just have a crush on yoongi

:O

wait does th is mean that lovers are like angels, and angels are like lovers?

goddamn

omg he should’ve just become a poet or something

get those hands busy with typing up the same message but in different wordings and nOT lifting up cars under time pressure or change a wheel like your life depended on it

lmao maybe he should become a singer or something

“but it is true!”

“you use his name as an adjective now!!”

“lol true the sunset was yoongi today”

god jungkook’s thinking if it’s possible to drown himself in this glass of water because eW you’re so in love and for WHAT

“what’s tHAT supposed to mean??”

“beautiful!! c’mon jungkook think every now and then!!”

yoongi just isn’t a name in the game

he is the name of the game

his dad was a famous racer up until his retirement

and then his grandfather set the family name into racing because boi is he a legend too

AND THEN HERE HE IS

yoongi’s been karting ever since he was like what?? six years old??

ultimately ever since he was a kid, he knew he wanted to do racing too

he just didn’t want his family’s reputation preceding him

(he was also thinking of wAIT do i actually have skills oR do i just have “skills” because it’s expected from me)

plot twist he did have skills

he tried out and just had his name as suga

and then when he knocked out those officials and got them sTANDING up from their seats because they really needed what was happening to sink in, that’s when he just dropped the truth bomb

“oh aHA actually i’m min yoongi!! nice to meet you!!”

he was just talented like that

so talented that he almost went with moto racing instead because he knew how to drive motorcyles!!

rode a bike twice and he immediately went pSH give me a motorbike nOW PLS :((

one time he fell out of balance and dislocated his shoulder and yoongi then decided that will never do that again lmao

the thing is, you haven’t had a proper lengthy conversation with yoongi that had some substance to it

it’s your default congratulations and you’re “oMG you killed it out there you were a bEAST!!” and him just going “thanks!” and then walking off

you wanna call him nicknames

if it’s not yoongi, then either it’s sir or it’s mr. min

and it’s no fun :((

how come jungkook can call hoseok HOBI

you really just wish you were as close

sometimes if you’re lucky, yoongi gets your name right!!

it’s okay!! yoongi’s just a little bit reserved with you!! that’s all!! :)

it’s a race day anyway and you all just headed out to the circuit fairly early

yoongi’s sitting by himself wearing a white shirt underneath his racing suit and uWu he looks so comfy :((

normally in practice days and practice drills, he’d be also sitting by himself as he looks wistful staring out

but no not really

he would pull out his phone a couple seconds later oR pass out and wake up when he feels like falling because one of his talents was to fall asleep sitting

sitting.,.. the seat doesn’t even need to have a backrest.,..,

the season is about to end and you dON’T want to pass another season without atleast attempting to invoke some reaction from him with how much you interact with him

you smiled at him more than a hundred times already but he just goes :] and then walks off AGAIN

you’re gonna be proactive!! you’re gonna do these moves!! yOU’RE GONNA OWN IT :D

you’re striding very confidently to where yoongi’s sat and he doesn’t take notice because his back’s turned to you and you’re walking too fast and motivated that he probably doesn’t hear you

wait maybe you need to back-track a little

“am i — am i supposed to know why you’re giving me a pill and what is this pill?”

maybe you should have done a better way to do this aHa

“w-what?? oH nO NO it’s not — it’s a caffeine pill!!”

yoongi’s mouth forms into a lil :O and he tilts his head, trying to register and find your face in the memory bank for his pit crew

“i just — i just noticed aND uh y’know it’s not only me?? it’s just that i- we know that you drink coffee a lot and you aren’t allowed to drink it when it’s an actual game and not practice, because it’s gonna make you pee-“

maybe you shouldn’t be talking about pee

this is the longest (one-sided) conversation you’ve ever had with yoongi without him walking away and you’re talking about body fluids!!!!

it’s okay it’s cool

he probably knows what you’re talking about anyway

everything he wears is heavy-duty fire-proof material from his undies to his racing suits aND so does the pit crew

it’s gonna make you sweat a lot!! it was a given

yoongi doesn’t drink much water in the first place and he only gulps down liters of it when he’s officially done with his race

he doesn’t drink coffee before an actual race either because it just does these things to him

caffeine makes him focused but the particular one that he favors makes him tOO focused

and also coffee makes you pee more than any other!!

plus yoongi swears too that he’s nEVER peed in his racing suit ever and he’s gonna stand by that no matter how much stoopid questions he gets or teases

“point is, you can be a liTTLE bit out of yourself when you don’t have your fix a-and i mean absolutely nO offense yoongi sir aha mmmmh just!! here!! a caffeine pill!!”

he’s looking down on your palm and he takes into detail that the pill was lying snugly on a bed of pREMIUM tissue paper

hmmm this looks like those soft tissues from his hotel room???? is it just him???

you put it there not oNLY for presentation, but also because giving it to him with your bare hands that are gettin sweaty with how nervous you are is unhygienic

god ur struggles

“jungkook is this tissue tOO crumpled?? like does it look intentional crumple, or like an effortless cUte crumple???”

“are u out of your fucking mind?? oh my gOD no it’s too crumpled!! let me do it”

y/n!!

that’s it!! that’s your name!! you’re y/n!!

yoongi can’t believe that there’s this girl from his pit crew that is giving him a caffeine pill because-

“this is nice of you. very considerate.”

yo

did yoongi just talk to you

u have officially lowered your goals in life!! you can nOW perish peacefully knowing that yoongi has said something else to you besides “thanks” :D

he snatches your lil napkin bed and takes the pill and your other hand is a bit lonely because you’re holding a bottle of his special water and-

did he just

did he just swallow a pill dry

people who swallow their pills dry SCARE YOU

they are to be feared honestly

however there are exceptions hehe

tHIS ONLY MAKES YOU WANT TO KNOW YOONGI MORE!!

although you really can’t

not when you can literally hear your crew chief’s footsteps towards you and you’re just smiling through :D

you don’t know a park jimin

no you don’t aha :D

sometimes denial is the key!!!

“y/n, go do some stretches with your crew.”

sometimes u really really just wanna rattle jimin back and forth

he’s a grumpy crew chief!! a strict one!! one that wouldn’t let an ice cream man give out treats, because in his words, it is completely unnecessary

vernon got assigned as ice cream man and his feelings were HURT

jimin’s exceptional, no doubt about that

his strategies coincide well with yoongi’s and it contributes to the winning formula

what you just don’t like is how he’s grumpy with almost everyone else, but he’s extra grumpy with you

you offered a piece out of your packet of gummy bear ones

jimin just stared at you up and down, eyes narrowed as he looks as if he’s been offended big-time

“are you trying to woo me with your citric acid obsession?”

woo wHAT

yOU WHAT????

“jIMIN-“

and then he crossed his arms across his chest as you’re trying to reason out that you were just being considerate and nOt trying to woo him!!!

“aish. if you’re gonna woo me, atleast go for a proper attempt. a granola bar. that’s good. i’m gonna deny you anyway, but atleast that one isn’t laughable.”

you cannot

you seriously cannot comprehend wHY is jimin like this

he has this habit of clicking his tongue and shaking his head and THEN walking away

people walking away from you is a trend apparently

“but jimin i already stretched aND warmed up today”

he hums at that but you have a feeling that your words are just going through one ear and out of the other

you just love being chastised by your crew chief in front of yoongi <3

“with jungkook?”

wait who is jungkook

yoongi suddenly has more interest into this conversation because uh who is jungkook and why does the name itself kinda intimidate him

he’s kinda familiar with the name but nOT the face

:(

is this your thing

is your thing giving out caffeine pills?? this is just a normal occurrence and he shouldn’t feel this AWED at the sentiment??

“yeah!! and we did both our warm-ups!! tWICE if i might add!!”

jimin knows about jungkook tho

he knows how you’re best friends and opponents in a technical sense

he’s a little wary of that still but he guesses that it just can’t be helped???

there’s a lot of talk on the field with how great jungkook is as a pit crew member anyway!! they were surely a bit confused too on with how the two of you were separated but it’s for the better (?) anyways considering that you’re both aces

good for hobi

good for yoongi

bAd for jimin!!! and you’re his favorite

his favorite when it comes to scolding even when you particularly haven’t done anything

tough love

“.... hmmmm”

“mmmmmh”

yoongi feels like he has to add on to the conversation because he’s gotta admit that it’s somehow entertaining

he’ll ask jimin later about this jungkook guy anyway :))

“i didn’t see it though. do it again.”

smile thru da pain :)))

yoongi placed second in this race though and although that isn’t entirely bad, he is still kinda upset because that just means he’s second best :((

hobi placed first!!

he’s all cool about it and yoongi doesn’t wanna be bitter but he iS mad at himself for not getting pole position for this race

so for every race for the season, there’s three qualifying sessions to determine your position in the grid!! if it all adds up and you’re the one with the fastest times, then u become the pole-sitter

acquiring the pole position aka being the pole-sitter puts a driver at an advantage because they’re first in line!! aND they don’t have to weave in between cars at the back and fight for getting ahead

it’s cool that’s cool :))) yoongi’s got pole position more than a handful times anyway :))) he’s just giving out chances for the others :))) 

he’s kind like that :)))

[ yoongi is bURNING in the inside tho ]

there’s what?? like eight more races in this whole championship season?? yeah he could make this work no pressure

the caffeine pill,,, however.,.,.,,

“well?? how did it work out??”

jungkook is beyond impatient now because you keep getting into telling the story of how it went with yoongi but you jUST kept getting distracted

it’s only fair because yah the race just ended and you and jungkook didn’t opt to go back to the hotel with your teams so you could eat out from the stalls here after a really tiring day!! you deserve it!!

“okAy so like i was really nervous, yeah?? so i walked and then oOOOOOH CHEESY BEEF FRIES!! jungkook look omg cHEESy beef fries!! hold on lemme-”

you are aging jungkook and he swears by that

“nO no!! here!!! i already bought them!!! can you just oH my god!! y/n please stand STILL”

he’s holding you still with both of his hands grounding your shoulders wHILE his hands are still holding up his food and drinks and none of them are spilling?

that’s: talent

he’s been antsy ever since you texted him before the race started that you’re diving in head-first without a proper plan!! he was writing an elaborate plan in bullet points on his dotted notebook and tHen you’re telling him that you’re gonna dive straight in??

first of all how dare u

second of all pLEASE just tell him how it went

“five bites of fries, two minutes of telling how it went.”

ok he is a really great negotiator and also you’re already shoving like three in your mouth so this is more favorable than what he bargained for

jungkook does find you a pain in the ass sometimes like there is nO denying that absolutely

but he can attest to the fact that you are a GREAT storyteller

like damn your emotions?? hand gestures?? how you’d eVEN switch positions so he could get visuals of how it went down?? perfection like so good that jungkook feels so flustered because omg?? so tHIS is why you have a crush on yoongi aha

you’re not gonna lie,, jungkook sometimes decreases your lifespan for a solid seven months at the least

but you’re lying too when you say that he isn’t a dAMN good listener/audience

his doe eyes get even bigger and he is dang expressive and he’s never insincere and doesn’t exaggerate tOO much to the point that it’s obnoxious!!

and he doesn’t pick any story of yours!! he is vERY genuine!!!

[ sputters while drinking his iced tea ] “jimin cockblocked aGAIN???”

[ crouches to the floor when you went out to the mall alone because he didn’t want to and ended up meeting owen wilson, the guy who voiced lightning mcqueen ] “WHAT??????? YOU WHAT????? YOU’RE TELLING ME WHAT???????”

[ sobs because he didn’t meet owen wilson ] “i’m just so *wails* i’m just rEGRETTING every *heaves* single decision i made a-and *fans tears* i should’ve just went with you :(((”

[ giggles and shrieks continuously for ten minutes and keeps hugging you because you bought him those big boots that you call romper stompers for his birthday ] “you did nOT!! oh my god they’re really mine?? MINE??? you’re telling me that these are mINE now??? omg omg i could die rn y/n i swear i LOVE YOU!!! i’m not gonna step on u i swear :(( thank you thank you :(((”

yoongi couldn’t be anymore smiley

like sure enough, his mind should only stay in the game when he is in the game

he can’t think about what he wants for dinner later that night or let his thoughts drift because otherwise, hE’S the one that’s going to drift

but maybe

just maybe when he’s at the last stretch and hobi’s already crossed the finish line and the closest driver behind him is like lmao a kilometer away

he just can’t help thinking about you!! and the napkin bed you made for his caffeine pill!! and how he doesn’t get why he’s never talked to you before because like you’re cute n all :D

he’s never seen a pit crew member talk back to jimin like that before and yeah sure you’re playful but not overstepping it ya know

“so jimin,,, y/n, amirite?”

jimin’s a lil bit confused because uhhh yoongi has never talked to him

about you before but he’s not that bothered

“... yeah?”

...

...

“jimin this is the part where you tell me about y/n”

“how was i supposed to know? you only said her name!! is that like a signal or wHAT??”

“couldn’t i be anymore obvious??”

the bottom line is that yoongi got a crash course when it came to you and he couldn’t be any more grateful for jimin

he’s also confirmed that jungkook isn’t ur boyfriend but that’s kinda debatable because jimin added an “i’m not eNTIRELY sure though” and yoongi hates him for it!!

there’s just something about yoongi that you can’t shake off

and you don’t wanna fall that deep because it’s just a crush!! just a harmless crush and u know you aren’t probably gonna stand a chance :((

although you’re just gonna keep that to yourself because kook will probably lecture you for five minutes and THEN smack you in the head because you’re bringing yourself down again

jungkook knows you’re a natural ace like c’mon yoongi’s just gonna be a piece of cake!!

yeah sure yoongi doesn’t initiate conversation with your or barely holds eye contact and can barely remember your name, only recalls you as part of his team, and can be ignoring the things you’re doing for him bUT I MEAN THAT’S NOT ALWAYS THE DETERMING FACTORS, RIGHT??right??

pls say right

jungkook’s convincing himself as much as you’re convincing yourself that u have a chance with yoongi

you can’t help it :((

you love that smile!! that smile when he knows how good he’s done that he automatically could tell that he’d be getting an extra point since he’s the one who was the fastest on that lap!or that laugh when he pops out a cork of champagne once again and he’s getting the hang of it

his calm demeanor looks so cute even when he isn’t even doing anything in particular and how it could be so hot especially when his stare’s just rigid

you’ve been in celebratory going out parties in bars with your team to know that yoongi’s just boisterous and chatty when he gets drunk

he even gets cLINGY to whoever’s sitting beside him and it’s usually jimin and he can even make jimin yield to having oNE more shot with him :((

in meetings too!!!

yoongi’s personal style is just mostly black and sometimes when he’s feeling spicy, he’d add in some random pastels or perhaps even a small nEON detail

his cheeks tooyou just wanna kiss them so bad :(((

they’re so plump and full whenever he pouts and smiles and you have to gRIP your fist just to get rid of the l*nging in your system

YOONGI HAS PIERCED EARS TOO

MULTIPLE PIERCINGS!!!you’ve never seen him wear earrings tho and that’s saddening

jewelry, most especially on drivers, is just a big no-no because just in cAse the driver catches on fire or not, it’s still a big hazard

you once saw yoongi walking in the hallway just as you were about to exit the elevator to go to ur hotel room and he was wearing a wATCH

u almost went feral goddamn

you see yoongi again after your caffeine pill advance on him? a necklace, maybe? those thick chain bracelets like the ones jungkook wears? him wearing rings? it could be a blinged-out diamond band or a heart-shaped plastic ring from a kinder egg and you would sTILL GO FERAL

“i just wish — j-just wish that red string lovers exist in real life, y’know, kook?? do you get what i’m saying?”

jungkook wishes that was a real thing too

you’re just a bit vulnerable because u have some alcohol in your system

a little bit emotional

meanwhile jungkook is just straight up bland and is up for no fun

three-drink jungkook is boring

you should see five-drink jungkook!! hE’S A WILD ONE that could backflip with a 70% success rate of not throwing up after

“i do. i wish that red string lovers do exist. kind of like that movie, kimi no nawa. i love that movie.”

...

“... jungkook. omg a-are you saying i should like, tie a red string on my pinky and tHEN on yoongi’s pinky!! in this way, i could always be connected to him and we’re like never gonna stay away from each other!!”

...

“i believe that would be called stalking.”

“no i meant fIGURATIVELY”

this three-drink jungkook is no fun

what you’re gonna do is get him to drink more because the motto for pit crew members is “drink as if it’s your last because it IS!!!”

drinking kinda messes up workout routines and the semi-strict diet the members are put on to ensure you’re all strong and enduring

so drinking is just reserved for wins or when the crew chief allows it and MAYBE just maybe when you and kook decide to get a lil sip and sharing a can won’t hurt :D

“okay, okay. another one!! drink another one!!”

you have to physically make jungkook drink because he doesn’t wanna hold the shot glass claiming that it’s too dirty and before he gets iffy even more, you just bring the glass to his lips and even put a hand underneath his chin because you are tHAT great of a friend

sometimes you just need to credit yourself for being a really great best friend to jungkook

four-drink jungkook is a BUNNY

he’s starting to ascend to his five-drink state and therefore through the process, he’s crinkling his nose more

the nose crinkle and the smile that highlights his two front teeth has always been in effect but this one’s just more persistent

he doesn’t hop like a bunny tho or like even stand because that’s six-drink dance bot jungkook’s moves

instead

he just-

cHOMPFS

jungkook’s just biting down on your shoulder SOFTLY

the same gentleness of a golden retriever with an egg on its mouth!!he’s not nibbling or biting down or anything!! he’s just oMPH :D

there’s no rhyme or reason to why he’s doing this and you’re unsure either lmao you’ve told him before what he does drunk when he’s sober and he goes?? lol what i do tHAT???

you don’t mind honestly

you’re thankful that you’re wearing a black hoodie and it’s made with a fluffy cotton material!! it’s a win-win and u can even feel jungkook smiling

the alcohol isn’t hitting you JUST yet but u. r aware that you’re getting a tad more chatty now and then suddenly you’re telling jungkook a summary of this sugar stars episode in which they were supposed to make cupcakes for this luxury jewelry brand and in oNE of the cupcakes there should be like a necklace worth thousands of dollars bUT THEY FORGOT IF THEY ALREADY PUT IT IN THE BATCH AND-

“hey, is this guy bothering you, y/n?”

you hear a velvety voice interrupting you and it’s oddly familiar

said person extends his hand to put on your shoulder and you kinda jolt at the sudden contact and it’s just goosebumps“.... yoongi?”

:O

yoongi’s on your left side and u could clearly see him nowhE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO SQUARE UP

i mean truth be told he wASN’T supposed to be here because after placing 3rd he just didn’t wanna go part because for wHAT and he wanted to go to bed instead

but them jimin called him and asked if he was sure because like... the entire team is here and the owner of the bar is a FAN and all drinks are on the house so,,,

he jUST got here and while he was looking for jimin, the first thing he sees is the back of your head (he’s memorized it hehe) and a guy bITING DOWN ON YOUR SHOULDER and yours hands are gesturing and shit

and so he’s beyond confused to see you confused over seeing him all confused and perhaps protective

“yoongi!!”

u practically squeal and ur not gonna hide that

although he just ignores that because he’s focused on some more pressing matters at hand

“man, seriously, what the fuck? can you just back off-“

yoongi is literally about to pull jungkook away from you because up to now this dude is NOT reading the room and the fact that he is 2 seconds away from decking him

“no nO yoongi!! it’s okay lol he’s my best friend! he’s not-“

there’s a delay on words sinking to jungkook’s ears so he’s just now reacting lmao

“mfhsIR thif if mY EMOFYONAL FUPPORT MFFSHOULDER”

jungkook’s angrily lifting his eyes but not his face with it so he’s-

oH THAT’S YOONGI :D

“this is my friend who’s kinda drunk and bITES my shoulder when he’s drunk aha jungkook!! say hi, gguk”

“hI YOOMGIIII!!! i’m jungmkook :D”

kook takes a quick second to lift himself off your shoulder to give an eager wave to yoongi

oH that face is familiar

jungkook?

jungkook jungkook oH THIS IS THE JUNGKOOK HE ASKED JIMIN ABOUT

whew

honestly he was kinda scared because when yoongi got a closer look when he was fuming, jungkook looked like a big buff guy and he was a little scared because-oh jungkook just went back to biting your shoulder ://

“i thought you weren’t gonna come?”

“i thought i was gonna fight sOMEONE”

hehe

you can’t help but feel a lil bit happy that omg yoongi cares for u

and although he’s mistakened jungkook as a pervert whose modus operandi is to bite at shoulders, it’s still the thought that counts!!!!

your right shoulder that has kook attached to it feels indifferent and your left shoulder that yoongi touched for a second is ON FIRE

be still, be calm. be still, be calm. be still, be — OMG YOONGI IS SITTING BESIDE YOU FUCK

“it’s jungkook, right?”

he, for sure, knows that it is jungkook alright but he just wants to ask u know

just to be sure

although you’re kinda oblivious to the fact that he’s directing the question to you more than to jungkook himsELF bc you’re very much swayed by his gummy smile

“yeah!! he’s jungkook, alright :D”

“this might be a stupid question to ask but uh i’ve just never seen him oR like maybe it might just be my memory but jungkook’s in our team, right??? or like nO?”

“o-oh aHA about that yoongi,, sir,, actually jungkook isn’t in our team, ya know? but he DOES support us and is like whoosh a fAN of you :))”

he is having too much fun with this one

“really? but i saw him in the box before, with you, i think? lol u silly goose if you have a boyf-“

“jUNGKOOK ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND! he never was!! yoongi trust me i am very single right now i mean it!! 100%”

“are you sure? like-“

“he’s just my best friend ever since college and we’re not a thing i sWEAR!! you see him in the box sometimes because he just needs someone to buy him nachos from the stalls aND he’s a pit stop crew member for jung hoseok-“

you’d like to think that you are diffusing this situation very well

“-and that tOTALLY doesn’t matter because pfft?! i don’t even know jung hoseok like wHAAAAAT does he uhm race or sth?? whew am i right lmao can i get an amen? ᵖˡˢ ˢᵃʸ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵖˡˢ”

yoongi already knows this bit of information and his eye does twitch at the mention of hoseok like how mr. bean is with mozambique but it’s COOL seeing you flustered is getting a really cheesy smile out of him

“do you rap?”

“no but do you want me to”

yoongi snorts and giggles at that and meanwhile you are getting THE nervous sweats because obviously you weren’t prepared for this

damn it :( you should’ve just kept jungkook sober so he could “wingman the fUCK out of you” in his own words

the only thing you could do that’s the closest to rapping is have jungkook beatbox in the background while u go bow chicka wowow bow cHICKA WOW :((

“you’re funny.”

yoongi’s still kinda dying at giggling throughout the whole interaction but he really means it sincerely ok

QUICK IS THAT A COMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT

“thanks :))”

fUck it you should’ve just said a one-liner or something, not a timid thanks or would that be trying too hard

you are getting too panicked and nervous now and the only out you see is-

“ggukie!! you want another drink?”

bless up

bless jungkook’s soul for immediately agreeing and before you know it, you’re lifting another shot glass to his lips with a hand underneath his chin

you’re gonna help him with his hangover tomorrow because he’s saving yOUR ass by easing the tension of how pATHETICALLY nervous you are with yoongi

yoongi’s persevering too because this jungkook guy has hands.. what?? does he drink his water from a formula bottle??? DOES HE NEED MILK

chile why is he getting jealous

it’s not like he’s become fond of you nor got attached to this girl that gave him a caffeine pill placed on a napkin bed after much observation of him and the sentiment behind it just makes him mushy

lol

couldn’t be him :))

:)

...

....

SIKE IT’S HIM THAT’S HIM :(((

“YOOOOOOONGIIIIIIIIIII!!!”

oh god 

oh no

it’s a drunk jimin :(

a drunk, happy, gIGGLY JIMIN

“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!”

you’re quite surprised at the sight because uH you’re used to jimin the grumpy crew chief

nOt jimin the giggly person who’s giggling at the little rainbows ur bracelet makes when the light hits it and who’s complimenting your hoodie sO HARD

mom come pick me up im scared

“y/n O-M-G where did you get those earrings because they r the bomb dot COM”

“jimin what did u drink because i am LOVING it”

“a pomelo gin mix or like fOUR of them.”

yoongi answers for jimin because he knows all too well

woop jimin’s hugging him now and his grip is tight o-okay i guess i’ll... keep you... still?

it’s not jimin’s fault :( he just likes pretty drink i mean could u blame him :(((

“aish those pack a punch for sure. you could barely taste the gin because of the juice-“

“-but it gets you drunk nonetheless no matter how much you drink it.”

:D

:D

you and yoongi are straight up CONNECTING right now vibing if u will

“yeah and some light it up on fire then take it out so it would taste smoother and seamless!!”

that’s it he’s had enough yoongi will propose to you rIGHT NOW he thought he was the only one who knew that fact

oR KNEW THE DIFFERENCE

or knew the reason for it that isn’t just to make it look cool

oh man you feel so sorry for pegging yoongi as just one of those “all beers taste the same” dudes in senior year :’’’)

“jUNGKOOOOOOOK!!!”

jimin kinda ruins the moment by opening his mouth being all excited as he points excitedly to look at who’s beside you

“YOOOOOOOOOONGIIIIIII!!!!”

“oh oh! shh!!! you’re not supposed to be here but it’s ok jungkooooook!!! i’ll just close my eyes!!!”

“h-hey guys *hiccup* have you seen jimin? because i can’t see him!!”

that’s not... that’s not how it works...

jungkook is giggling so hard and jimin’s gonna roll over anytime if it isn’t for yoongi holding him

“omg jungkook’s earrings look like windchimes :D”

“y/n omg jIMIN’S RIGHT! they do look like windchimes :D”

“i bet they also sOUND LIKE WINDCHIMES :D” jimin’s leaping out of yoongi’s hold eagerly and the both of u just know that this is gonna go bad

he’s about to faceplant because he’s slipping the moment he decided to break free

it’s a good thing you’re catching him and jimin’s embracing you now while

his legs are slack on the floor and jungkook the drunk dumbass thought it was an emergency

and in times of emergency apparently, jungkook’s move is try and hop on your back for a piggyback ride“okay, okay, time to get off y/n now!!”

yoongi chuckles as he pries jimin off of you and onto himself instead

jungkook sTILL won’t give up into having a piggyback ride from you hmp

“hey, wanna split an uber?

”you like that idea very much :D“who’s gonna sit with them at the back, though?”

“you can give me your number and i’ll volunteer tribute :))”:D

that’s good

this is good

yeah sure yoongi might’ve had to sit in the middle of jimin and jungkook that are messes

and has to endure it when young, wild and free by wiz khalifa came on aND

jimin went owo “young sound like yoongi omg”

and jungkook went and followed and the whole lyrics were yoongi wild and yoongi free

but that’s ok

that’s okay!!!

he had to say goodbye to you two floors early because that’s where jungkook’s room is and u need to tuck him in

the most he could do was walk you to the door while having a sleepy jimin use him as a crutch

all worth it though :))

“thanks for tonight, yoongi :))”

and there’s just this tentative silence because the both of you kinda felt dejected because you didn’t want tonight to end, truthfully

you press a tentative lil kiss on his cheek and

:O

“good night.”

yoongi’s cheek is tingling aHHHHHH HE’S ABOUT TO BURST

that’s so precious

YOU’RE SO PRECIOUS

alcohol doesn’t fix everything bUT ON RARE OCCASIONS IT COULD BE A BRIDGE

jungkook woke up with a killer headache because apparently when you and yoongi weren’t looking, jimin let him have a sip of his drink and he was immediately :O

but you did lessen it to an amount!!!!!

he could barely register what happened last night but what he did remember is yOONGI

just yoongi

aND THAT MEANS HE COULDN’T REMEMBER UR LITTLE CHEEK KISS :D

eventually you’d tell him but not now

jungkook’s all smiles when you were telling him on how you tucked him to bed and eVEN caved into giving him a piggyback ride

your explanation of you making him drink a full bottle of water and then some more is the reason to why he felt bloated and every time he moved in his deep sleep he was just sLOSHING around

although you didn’t get to do his skincare routine on him because he likes tapping his face

and tapping jungkook’s face while he’s drunk is like choosing death because he’d think that there were little ants on his face and he’d freak the fUck out

so you just took a makeup wipe to get the dirt off his face and put on a face mask!! minimal effort!! maximum results!! efficiency :D

yours and jimin’s dynamic is chANGING FOR THE BETTER he’s getting warmer to you now!!!

you did tease him one time about the pomelo gin drink and he glared at you

but then you whispered to his ear

“if it’s between your choice of pomelo pink gin and yoongi’s whiskey? i’d pick pink gin all the way :D”

jimin gasped out loud

friendship? bUILDING

you and yoongi??

safe to say that you’re on the closer side :D

i mean tECHNICALLY you aren’t on the commitment boat yet or like… you haven’t had a date yet…. or held hands…..

but you’re getting there!!! iT’S A PROCESS

you’ve always been his supporter in the sidelines but now u r a full-pledged cheerleader for him in the moments that you aren’t tending to his car or tending to work

practice sessions are held starting two days before the race

it’s literally just for practice and it’s for the driver to get familiar and to test out some things that may need to be tweaked furthermore

this is the only time the drivers get to drive the cars besides the actual race itself

and the race is held on sunday!!!!

two practice sessions on friday that last one and a half hours each

and a final practice session on saturday that lasts for an hour

obviously you’re there

bUT when you’re not in use, you just completely revert to cheering for yoongi by the barrier!!!“GO YOONGS!!!!!”

jimin sends you a look to keep it down because even though he has his headphones on he could sTILL hear you

you shut up of course but not without waving your hands in the air whenever yoongi’s car comes into your view :D

in qualifying sessions too!!! these are to determine the driver’s grid positions in the actual race

and eVERY driver’s goal is to earn pole position, the front-most and most advantageous position from the starting line!!!

pole position doesn’t automatically mean that you’re the winner but it does help the driver to ace at that closer!!!

you shut up in qualifying sessions because in fact, you’re nervous too there are six more races to this whole season and each one is important because yoongi and hobi?? they’re just neck-to-neck with their scores and although yoongi’s on the lead, he could nEVER BE COMPLACENT

yoongi’s pole-sitter undoubtedly with his performance and then could you breathe a sigh of relief :))

he’s stripping his racing suit slightly and by that he means taking off the velcro and getting the zipper undone and taking off his balaclava and

oBVIOUSLY his helmet

fact: race suits are extremely light but are sO HOT

yeah sure there’s been upgrades to it and that it has cooling properties now but u can’t exactly feel that when you’re gonna be in it for atleast an hour doing a proper race

his routine lately is going sTRAIGHT to you after he finishes whatever he’s doing

“you didn’t cheer me on :((“

“that’s because i was too busy rooting for you in my mind :))”

“well then root for me with your mOUTH”

“what”

“wHAT??”

yoongi’s just being a little petty and cranky, that’s all

it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t give much affection, he automatically doesn’t want to rECEIVE it :(((

admittedly, you’re kinda cutting off from the physical affection with yoongi lately because jungkook quizzed you and you’re pretty sure that you were in a default :O after

“who texts first?”

“me!! our schedules don’t exactly match up because he has a different trainer than our pit crew does but i just wanna wake up extra early to send him a text :))”

“who sleeps earlier?”

“yoongi!! lmao he loves resting whenever he can aND he even brings this diffuser with him whenever we gor from hotel to hotel!!”

“who goes to who more frequently?”

“oOoOhhh i love visiting yoongi!!! whenever i surprise him he just looks so shocked and eventually it sinks in to him”

“who exerts more effort?”

“kook i — oH.,..,.”

of course jungkook is so happy for you because look at you!! you went from admiring yoongi from afar to hanging out with him actively and even going so far as to have him kiss your cheek once!!

but no matter how supportive he is, he jus wants to be as realistic too because he doesn’t want you hurt

yes he admires how you are with him but like mAYBE you’re far in too deep and yoongi is not on the same level

and so you just came to the conclusion that maybe you were just being too enthralled in it to not see that yoongi doesn’t find the concept of you

and him together as desired as you found it to be

:((

and so maybe you’ve been detaching yourself lately

you stay in bed sleeping for as long as you’d like, and the only alarm clock you have is jimin ringing the bell on your door to let you know that training

was to start

jimin quickly catched on to what you were doing because he’s seeing less of you around yoongi??? surprisingly???

and he just couldn’t keep it in to not know what was happening so he asked jungkook

then jungkook was positively surprised and happy because jimin???? coming to him personally to ask???? omg he is gonna spill of course and so jimin was like eh… it’s the least i could do i guess….

five rings of the doorbell to wake you up

seven rings to let you know that training’s gonna start in ten minutes

ten rings to oPEN YOUR DAMN DOOR

you didn’t linger around yoongi unnecessarily and you weren’t sending those specifically niche templates you see on instagram that make you laugh

he doesn’t receive the “you’re a daughter of an astronaut and a swimmer and you’re not sure which aesthetic to pick because you’re too dizzy from accidentally inhaling chlorine in the big-ass man-made pool since you intern at nasa and u just need to lie down” lookbooks :(

he thought of it as nothing at first because eh they’re just little things!!! he barely notices anyway

WRONG

yoongi feels so devastated because why :(( won’t :(( you just :(( hUG HIM OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO

these days he feels so on edge because aHa!! anytime now, y/n’s gonna hug me :D

but then you dON’T

yoongi put on extra perfume because you like burrowing your nose to his neck whenever you hug him and wHY aren’t you hugging him

wait maybe it’s the perfume that’s throwing you off??

nevermind he’s gonna buy another hundred-dollar bottle of a different perfume it’s ok nO WORRIES and sometimes you don’t join the team breakfast and yoongi’s all lost

because hMmM??? i got u these pancakes a-and i already put the butter and the syrup….. why aren’t you here…

you’re with jungkook and his team knows about your friendship and how it came to be and they’re all just eH it’s okay y/n’s cool anyways :))

hobi’s so kind

jungkook sits in the same table as hobi and therefore that means you sit beside kook and u have no choice because he WILL insist

not because you’re his friend but also because he’s too lazy to stand and get another serving so he’ll just steal some from your plate

hobi eVEN offers to refill your glass with orange juice because his is gone too and he’s gonna get more anyway :))

yoongi can’t go over it though and he’s just wallowing because first, hoseok’s aiming for his title that he wants to retain, and nOW HOSEOK’S COMING FOR HIS Y/N???

ok his might be a little bit of a reach because he hasn’t asked you out yet but he iS getting there

he swears that he feels so lost without u :((

and so yoongi’s persistent and he vouched his day-off to be aligned with your gym day aaaand he’s here now :D

he’s right behind you!!

“hiii.”

yoongi squeezes in on the space left at your side

well you dIDN’T expect yoongi today clearly“hi pls back up a little i mAY accidentally kick you :D”

you’re doing pull-ups at the moment and you’re getting the hang of doing them!! even if this used to be the bane of your existence in your workout program and you’d sell your soul just for jungkook to call you and cry on the phone and pretend he stubbed his toe or something to get out of training

so tHAT’S yoongi’s greeting??? :((

“i haven’t seen you lately”

“hmm? i see you everyday, yoongs”

“rEALLY??”

you’re only discovering now that while doing pull-ups, you can aLSO make and maintain conversation!!

yoongi’s a bit sarcastic because your full attention isn’t on him and he guesses that it’s a given when you’re working out bUt are you even hearing what he’s saying :((

“doesn’t feel like it, though.”

ok that one made you falter a little bit

“how can you say??”

he practically huffs at that and that also goes noticed

how can you not know that???

he’s a patient person but with you, he just gets sO eager and whiney and now he just can’t cope!!!

just when he thought you were finally go down because you were slowing your movements, you were oNLY doing that just to regain your momentum for another set AND!!!

fine then :))

yoongi’s jumping up and his hands wrap around the higher bar snugly, his body pressed to yours

he’s so close oh my god yOONGI’S SO CLOSE TO YOU

you’re suspended in air and a bit breathless and yoongi’s just hanging slack and he’s about to burst into a smile because uH success!!!

his lips look so kISSABLE and his cheeks are plump and his eyes are v enchanting and wHEW you’re sweating at this point and it’s nOt from working out

yoongi only tilts his head as he earns the reaction he wanted and more :D

“who’s your trainer? sehun?”

“y-yeaHh???”

“m’kay.”

he’s not content just yet and for a split second, yoongi tilts his face to the side of yOUR face and his lip barely brush to the shell of your ear

“i’ll pull you out of this one. eat lunch with me.” the sound of yoongi dropping back down to the floor makes you jOLT because oh.,., oh that rEALLY DID JUST HAPPEN HUH

what a menace

your heart is too weak for yoongi

you are sO whipped :’’’)

so whipped that you cave into jungkook’s demands

jungkook’s aLWAYS been your sticker guy

he just has stickers… that he either makes or acquires but he isn���t telling where from… and either gives or sells them to u

he has this label maker too that could print your name on or whatever you want to put on your stuff

he would even input little stars or little hearts or even lil dinosaurs if you want him to!!!

you don’t know how and why but wHEREVER you go, jungkook always has stickers on him

AND THIS IS REALLY SPECIAL OK

you specifically told jungkook to curate like a ten-pack out of the things you told him about yoongi

he has the reigns aS LONG as he thinks (and it better be) that it screams min yoongi!!

it’s just that you wanna give gifts to yoongi and you don’t need aNY occasion just to give presents

you were deep in thought and your head blanked and then went…

stickers…. get him stickers

snickers???

…. stickers ….

sNEAKERS???

…. stickers dUMB BITCH i said stickers!!!! …..

lol u love ur mind

and when you said that to jungkook, he fell both honored AND pressured like what if yoongi decides not to like you anymore because of your (his) sticker choices

what then

damn ur wrong for this

jeez jungkook’s becoming the backbone of your blossoming relationship ://

sigh but it’s cool,, jungkook’s used to becoming a fundamental part to society

jungkook’s ringing your bell so early in the morning because he just got done last night with completing his collection!! and you iMMEDIATELY need to see it as per his insistence

ok they r pretty cool

there’s yoongi’s name in a really cool yet sophisticated font that just screamed yoongi to you!!

there’s Agust D in a big bold formal font!! you remember that story of how yoongi was born and raised briefly in daegu then they had to move and he misses his hometown

he was about to use Agust D as his name when he first tried out for racing but the name itself made so many heads turn so he was just,,, too spicy,,,

i’ll make it suga

OMG YOUR INITIALS

jungkook’s wild for that one but omg you’re giggling because wow u like that

“clouds?? and the sky’s purple??”

“i think eVERYBODY likes clouds”

“well some pilots don’t”

“what makes them think that clouds like them back?”

wait

“a cat??… flipping me off???”

“lol ok funny story but yoongi flipped me off once LMAOOO”

“… he did what”

“i’ll tell u the story later but this, THIS — okay i don’t know if it’s just me, but yoongi looks like a cat, y’know?? like i sWEAR i could see cats in him, and then i see him in cats. do you get me??”

“gguk-“

“and he wears headbands, right? LOOK I EVEN DREW HIM A HEADBAND!! :D”

ok you aren’t gonna lie

this ten-pack goes pretty fucking hard if you may say so

“how much do i owe you, kook?”

“that would be fifty dollars :D”

“fifty wait wHAT?? FIFTY DOLLARS?? WHAT??? JUNGKOOK SAY SIKE”

psh atleast it was worth a shot

“fine. tHIRTY dollars.”

“THIRTY DOLLARS?????”

you know for a fact that these ten stickers aREN’T worth tHIRTY DOLLARS

the highest jungkook’s ever charged you is $10 for a pack of ninety-nine he even took one from the sticker booklet and he only said that after he sold it to u

you both know that these aren’t $30 :((

it’s always a take it or leave it situation because you know hobi is a sucker for stickers :((

“…. fine.” you pull thirty dollars from your wallet and that’s thirty dollars ur never gonna get back

jungkook’s a bit frazzled because wHAT

you actually gave him tHIRTY dollars??

they don’t even cOST _____ dollars!!!

it’s just awkward now when he tries to take back what he said

“… as a special gift.,.,. i’m gonna put them.,.,. in a nice envelope.,., that i uh doodled hearts on…”

quick if jungkook was a seller on redbubble, how many stars would you rate him

this better have a gREAT PAYOFF

spoiler alert: it did!!!

YOONGI LOVES THEM

“i mean i’m not saying you should put these on your race car because i kNOW every gram matters on it and like — sTICKERS!! u can stick them anywhere am i right :D”

:O

“do you uh,, do you like it? ˡᵃʸ ᶦᵗ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵍᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵒⁿ ᵐᵉ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”

“y/n bABY ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? i love them sO MUCH!! like look aH OMG IT’S ME THAT’S — I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THIS CAT RIGHT???”

it went great!!!

above and beyond than what you expected

“thank you thank you dO YOU KNOW that you’re the best eVER :(((“

yoongi is so touched and awed over a pack of sTICKERS and it’s the little joys and you that make him the happiest

he’s so excited and pumped because he can’t pick on where to put them because they’re so precious and in the same time he doesn’t wanna use them because they’re tOO precious

yoongi’s about to kiss your cheek in the same time you wanna explain some of them and-

oh

he’s kissing the corner of your mouth

he only realizes when you squeak a little and he feels just so unexplainable with pure bliss that’s going through his body omg

and then yoongi pulls away to gauge your reaction because he was iNITIALLY gonna go for a cheek kiss but now that’s out of the bank because he wants more and-

oh god his cheeks are already on fire and tHIS WAS JUST A KISS TO THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH ACCIDENTALLY

it’s time to clear his throat and attempt to clear his mind“is uHhH sehun? 

sehun the trainer today?”

“yeaH it’s sehun…”

yoongi please say what i want you to say

pleathe

“i can — i cAN bail you out, if you want.,.. you uH ˢʰᶦᵗ do you wanna go karting with me?? like, right now??? it’s okay if you don’t wanna bUt i mean ᶠᵘᶜᵏ uhHhH-“

“yeah :)) i wanna go karting with you :))”

yoongi’s a mess and hE’S the nervous one now and he keeps scratching the back of his neck and he can’t maintain eye contact

he was about to explain that he’s not pressuring you wait dID YOU JUST SAY

“yes?? yeah?? oH that’s cool :D”

“do i need to get changed or-“

i mean you’re still in your workout leggings and a big black shirt jungkook has an aBUNDANCE of so u just stole one and tried out embroidery!!

it’s not the best aha

kinda ugly because it’s massive on you and u just take it off whenever the workout progresses to be harder

“no!! no!! don’t worry!! i’ll bring my backpack!! just take yourself, y/n, i’ll take care of you ʷᵃᶦᵗ ʷᵃᶦᵗ aHA!!! i’ll pack my shirts for you and water and like snacks omg i will be back in fIVE minutes!!!”

there’s kinda no protest since yoongi’s already dashing out of your hotel room and into his… and he’s leaving you alone and he swears that this will only take fIVE minutes

he’s a nervous wreck

but yOU are too

because wait

this is your first date!!

THIS COUNTS AS YOUR FIRST DATE

oh god you are gonna cOMBUST

it did take five minutes and perhaps even earlier!!

yoongi’s managed to even get a cap for you and sUNBLOCK

he has a driver hired and that’s kinda ironic because hE’S the driver but he doesn’t mind!!!

he’s sitting with you at the second row and you’ve never really properly been out the city ever since you got here because leisure trips aren’t exactly in your schedule

the buildings and the scenery are so cool and authentic and yoongi’s just staring at you as you stare out :(((

why are you so beautiful :(((

he’s envisioned taking you out for go-karting as your first date but nOT NOW

yoongi’s accidentally kissed you once on the corner of your mouth and he is now forever a changed man

his mind immediately went wOOP take y/n karting nOW

yoongi has a pinterest board with ideas for a first date

picnics are cute but there’s just so much aNTS and mosquitoes and flies would go to ur food when you turn away for a single second!!!

not to mention that he never checks the weather reports lmao

and grass with how soggy they could he eVEN if it didn’t rain???

disgusting

there’s always the option of dinner dates too

but sometimes they could be just SO boring and it’s a hit or miss whether you’d like the food because you don’t like overly fancy restaurants y’know

not to mention that they r overrated and the food isn’t that good to your taste bUT maybe that’s just you

he’s searched this place up a couple days ago and look!!! they have karts that have tWO seats on them

maybe he could rent out the place or pull out the “no it’s MIN YOONGI” card and he can drive you around and stuff :D

it’s postive to say that you’re vERY excited

“last one to cross the finish line buys the winner gifts for a whole week bYEEEE”

wait

that’s not-

tHAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO GO

apparently this is how yOU want it to go

the idea of yoongi driving you around in go-karts didn’t cross your mind once

you thought that you were gonna race against him and gOD ARE YOU SO EXCITED

you work on cars not drive in cars

the closest you’ve ever went to karting is going on bumper cars when jungkook took you to the amusement park!!!

it’s not racing because all you and kook did was bump the other as mUCH as possible to the point that the attendant was :/// are they ok

you know how to drive!!!

not to flex or anything but u dO have a professional driver’s license aha :D

although that doesn’t mean shit if ur kinda being honest

do you know how to drift a car like what they do in fast and the furious?? probably yes

jungkook was “breaking in” his car and he took you to the dealership with him and the car just felt so sTIFF and then he saw an empty parking lot….

and well you didn’t exactly STOP him because it isn’t your car

how could you stop someone from doing something that you yourself wANT to do

can you drive as fast as yoongi?? possibly yes

will it be as clean and as easy as he makes it to be?? heck no

yoongi’s chasing after you because oh you are dEDICATED now to racing against him

you’re even scrambling to put your race suit on iN FRONT OF HIM and it makes him all flustered as he tries to keep up by turning and putting on his own

“now don’t go easy on me, okay???”

yoongi’s a bit confused because what did u just say

not to fuel his ego or anything but madame he is a race car driver and it runs in his blood and the skill is in his name

he loves u (although he hasn’t said that yet) but he doesn’t want to ruin all your hopes and dreams

“just race as what you normally do and i’ll do my oWN!!! :D”

o-okay

you’re fast!!!as fast as go-karts could go!!!

you even turned down yoongi’s offer of a ten-second head start because wHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT

you are as happy and as giddy as you could ever be

yoongi, on the other hand, is worried a ton

you’re still a bit cautious when it comes to curves and to turning and

yoongi’s heart physically stops whenever you go through them because now you’re starting to pick up the pace around them

you’re getting used to the curves as you go on and you’re starting to maintain speed aND go through curves smoothly

he’s happy that you’re happy but god he’s just tERRIFIED okay

the list of what could possibly go wrong is evading his mind and for god’s sake, he’s a rACE CAR DRIVER HIMSELF!!!!! with custom top-speed cars and not go-karts!!! and not once did this list cross his mind whenever he drives

it’s just now hitting him that his profession’s dangerous

but your profession tOO is dangerous!!!

you may not be the driver put you are a part of the pit stop crew that tends to the car the driver’s racing!!!!

fIRES!!! pneumatic torque guns that are sO DANGEROUS!!!! wheels!!!!! gas!!!!! the driver himself when he’s in a rush and could possibly injure people along the way!!!!!

yoongi’s going down on a spiral so harsh that he didn’t even notice that not only did you pass him, but you’re also farther away from him sIGNIFICANTLY and before he knows it, you finished first!!

:D

“yoongs yoongs did you see me dID YOU SEE ME?????? :D”

you jump up to yoongi the moment he gets out of his kart and he instantly catches you and puts his hands underneath your thighs to secure you

your arms are even around his neck and you are incredibly close to yoongi more than you could ever wrap your head around

“mhmmmm ‘course i did!!”

he mindlessly hums and he just takes the time to see you up close like this before you realize and yelp later on because ur flustered

god yoongi’s never cared for anyone this much before

he’s falling in so hard

and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, right?

the moment you stop talking and gushing is the moment you realize that yoongi’s been awfully quiet all throughout, making you look down and-

yoongi’s kissing you

for rEAL this time

god he is putty in your hands and he’s extremely mushy

your lips are sO soft that he feels like he could die a happy man

you don’t know if your getting this adrenaline from the rush you got from winning or if it’s just the desire to kiss him for so long that’s fueling you but either way

yoongi feels a little tug on his roots and that instinctively makes him kiss you a little deeper

his kisses taste so gOOD TOO

although you DO need to breathe every once in awhile

:D

yoongi has the biggest gummy smile on his face and his legs feel like giving out because he feels sO HAPPY

you don’t fight the grin on your face either because wow :D that was just wHoosh!!! the suspense built up to it was incomparable oh god the tENSION before

he doesn’t mind losing then :)

“one more? :D”

oh god u are rEALLY whipped for yoongi

and this puts the two of you on ANOTHER level okay

he’s gotten more affectionate and showy almost

jimin’s kinda concerned because sometimes he sees yoongi smiling out of the blue and he’s just…. what is this guy ON…..

jungkook’s so excited and happy for you!!!

he keeps pushing that this wouldn’t have happened if it isn’t for his overpriced stickers

he wants you to tell him EVERYTHING

“yeah?? and tHEN WHAT????”

he is a little jealous however because not all your time is spent on hanging out with him anymore

or how a particular someone would be joining your hangouts from time to time aka yoongi being a third wheel

…. or maybe jungkook’s the third wheel ….

lol impossible :)))))))

[ jeon jungkook continiously tries to deny the truth to himself as always ]

he could be nosy yes bUT he’s always curious

although

“so he’s finally your boyfriend?”

he makes sense most of the times

now that you think about it.,.,.

wait

oh

wAIT YOONGI ISN’T YOUR BOYFRIEND

you aren’t sure either if there’s a label already set?????

because as far as you know, kissing someone doesn’t automatically translate to gREAT UR MY PARTNER IN LIFE NOW

oh no

it’s all good!!!

all good!!!!

you could open this up to yoongi later!!!

oh wait he’s busy

tomorrow then!!!!

uH nope he’s busy

the other day then :))

yoongi keeps getting busy and busy as he explains to the point that you’re in the same floor but you aren’t even seeing each other

he isn’t lying to you, right??

this isn’t about the kiss, right?????

goddamn you jungkook :((

the gears in your head are turning because oh god what if yoongi’s realized that he doesn’t want to commit to you

or that this is as long as a free netflix trial and your time’s up and you need to gO

it also feels oddly sketchy too because yoongi’s only become suddenly busy and almost unreachable ever since the kiss

it is, in fact, about the kiss

god yoongi himself feels that he’s an asshole

he’s suddenly second-guessing his decisions

he’s went down the rabbit hole of thinking that mAYBE you deserve better than him

his name’s kinda big and some rumors follow him too, whether it’s inside or outside the track

yoongi has a track record of ex-girlfriends as what the media wittily dubs it aND HE WON’T DENY IT OK

he does have some ex-girlfriends and his lovelife isn’t talked about within the team because they just treat rumors as rumors and it’s yoongi’s life anyway

but what if news breaks out that you and him are dating

and his track record is brought up once again

aND NOT JUST THAT

because yoongi also feels like he isn’t worthy enough for you :((

he could be bland and too blunt at some points

as opposed to you :(( who’s sometimes too kind and always tries to understand situations and won’t also take shit from anyone

he’s not as spontaneous or charismatic as jungkook

he can’t be as spontaneous as jungkook who’s willing to go to a halloween party with him as mater and you as lightning mcqueen aND PERHAPS IN THE LITERAL COSTUME KIND OR SOMEHOW CLOSE TO IT

he’s not as avid in things that you like as much as jungkook is

he’s just yoongi :((

and he feels like the whole yoongi for y/n thing isn’t enough :((

you haven’t seen yoongi though

and since today’s for the practice sessions, this is the time that you’re sURELy gonna see him!!!

that’s the problem though

because seeing someone doesn’t exactly guarantee that they’re gonna pay attention to you

in other words: you think that yoongi might be avoiding you :((

he wasn’t alone as he normally was and just when you were about to approach him, that’s when he left to go get changed

you have no choice too since he goes straight to the track and that was it!!

you’re sneaking in to reply to jungkook who’s asking for updates because he’s as committed to this scenario as much as you were

this is the last practice session anyway

you just want to get this over with so you could go confront yoongi and fix whatever is this that’s happening :((

it doesn’t help, really

doesn’t help when the practice session is over and what yoongi does the first thing when he finishes is not go back to where the team is

or perhaps just hop over the box like he usually does

he goes to kim dahyun,,

kim dahyun

she’s a heiress?? a socialite?? maybe both???

she’s someone who’s known to be always in the front seat when it comes to events

she’d be placed courtside in basketball games and in tennis tournaments and by the side of the runway when it’s fashion week

no one for sure knows why

but her most recent appearances have been banked in these racing weekends and wherever she goes is where articles follow :((

she’s just something else :((

she’s pretty and she’s rich and she’s kim dahyun 

she’s wearing your team’s novelty shirt and she has it tied up in the front 

dahyun has her hair up in a bun and she has this ribbon that corresponded with your team colors wrapped around it

she has these perfect-looking gel nails!! gel nails!!! you could see the shine all the way from here when she’s flashed at the monitor and is in fact a couple of feet away from you!!

the jewelry too :((

gel nails and jewelry are things you’ve always wanted to try out but could barely wear due to the nature of your job

and although they’re just little things, it kinda drives you crazy because you can’t help but feel like you’re having a burnout with your profession

the fact that yoongi’s going to her for reasons unbeknownst to you is enough to make your stomach drop

even puts his hand at the sMALL of her back and-

oh

even does this lil cheek kiss and she does it back with him and they talk

they talk

min yoongi goes to talk to kim dahyun and greet her like that

when you can’t even get the bare minimum of even a glance from him

“aRE YOU SEEING THIS??”

jungkook texts you and it’s the only momentary relief you get because this way, your eyes aren’t focused on them and your heart briefly stops hurting

“yeah.”

you wanna go back to the hotel

you don’t even wanna look at yoongi

you retreat to the furthest area away and just sit there while all this fuss blows over and how there are even some cheers upon seeing yoongi and dahyun up on the monitor

cool

that’s cool

your cheeks feel wet and you’re just wordlessly setting up and putting back the things that were needed for this session

mingyu, the fellow pit crew member who’s aloft from you and the other ones for most of the times even noticed and he was just ???

“y/n, y’okay?”

you can’t even bring yourself to be in surprise that he spoke to you because you’re too busy being sad 

“dust :)) it’s just dust :))”

but it’s not.,., it’s not even remotely windy.,..,

jungkook crashes to your room later that afternoon and stayed with you until you fell asleep

you’re not exactly cHATTY when you feel your heart breaking and kook’s well-aware

just wordlessly puts on whatever’s trending on netflix and puts it up for background noise :((

orders room service and nudges you until you agree to eat 

even strokes your hair because he could see some tears pricking at the corner of your eyes and jungkook automatically presses you to his chest

damn yoongi ://

yoongi’s kinda missing the texts and the calls you’d usually bombard with him 

but this time his phone’s silent

he knows at the back of his mind that this may be about dahyun awhile ago but at the same time, he doesn’t wanna entertain the thought because it’s harmless,,,, right??

dahyun was a friend before she became his girlfriend and tHEN his ex

and now they’re friends again

that’s not exactly harmful isn’t it

yoongi’s eyes keep going back to check his phone every two minutes just to see if there’s a notification from you

and if he gets one? he won’t ignore it he sWEARS

just atleast give him a text

even a passive-aggressive one that just has a single period on it

and hE knows that all of this is building up because of him :((

he’s not quite ready to admit that to himself though

oh my god is this the end for you and yoongi???

you haven’t even started with proper labels aND you’re already over???

this isn’t exactly the high road you always try to go through

but yoongi’s just beyond confusing and angering at this point and is being really uNFAIR

so if he won’t be open no matter how much you try to coax him at his won pace and decides to be immature about it.,.,,,

well you’re gonna stop adjusting :D

today’s the third to the last race and just like any other, it’s heated

you support yoongi the driver but you’re not in the best terms with yoongi the loVER

not a bad start honestly

yoongi didn’t get pole position but instead the third and he was a more than bummed because usually, when he didn’t get pole-sitter, he’d lean on to you for comfort and you’re gonna soothe him throughout

but no that didn’t happen yesterday

jimin just sighed and patted him on the back and said “just do good tomorrow” and how is tHAT gonna be on par with how you comfort him

he’s through about 3/4 into the race

and gOD it’s going seamless

but some things are just piling up and it’s making him completely confused

hobi’s already passed him and at this stretch, he typically wouldn’t be able to because yoongi knows hoseok’s pattern

yoongi’s only had a pit stop once and that’s the strategy that gets him winning most times

but god something just feels odd

jimin comes at the right times as he speaks through the radio and yoongi couldn’t be any more lost

“yoongi you hAVE to box now”

and box equates to him having anOther pit stop when he usually wouldn’t because this isn’t it!!

this isn’t the strategy!!!!

“jimin iF i box now then that means-”

“yoongi!! listen to me!!! jung’s gonna pass ahead wHETHER you box or not. if you wanna save face and finish this race ranking atleast within top 10, box. right. now.”

fuck

his tires are thinning and normally he could sTILL go through the final stretch without another pit stop but fuck is jimin ordering him with so much ferocity

he has no other choice

and yoongi’s angry

he’s sTILL heated up because these circumstance have never happened before

then he finished 7th in this race

and that’s the lowEST he’s ever placed this season!!!

yoongi can’t exactly control his anger when it comes to situations like these and jimin’s very well-aware

he has faith in yoongi and his driving but tHESE technical reasons are what made him to go through this last-minute strategy

jimin’s crew chief and he stands by his decisions and his strategies

there’s no denying tho that he kNOWS yoongi’s gonna be heated

yoongi marches off the moment he finishes

and he’s looking for someone

anyone

you’re there by jimin’s side

and of cOURSE you were shocked by the sudden strategy and you just can’t help going to him to discuss it

you know too that yoongi’s gonna be mAD but after analyzing the situation with jimin when he explained and when you visualized, jimin did make the right call

before you know it though

yoongi’s already there

“Y/N!!!”

oh

this is the first time that yoongi’s speaking to you and you couldn’t be anymore shocked and confused at the same time

the two of you aren’t exactly alone,.,,

he’s had this sudden recollection of yoongi eating dinner with you in your hotel room and you kept asking him questions about racing and strategies and the philosophical aspect of it

and he delved into his strategies with jimin and retold them to you

you were in so much fondness too because he looks so focused and passionate when he was laying them out to you

“dID YOU TELL ABOUT THE STRATEGIES TO JUNGKOOK?”

what

wHAT????

yoongi isn’t level-headed right now and the story’s immediately flipped in his head of how this must have possibly went

jimin’s eyes are bulging at what’s unfolding, but even more so to the fact that you and yoongi aREN’T alone

and he’s here and the other crew members are here

and they can heAR YOONGI!!! loud and clear!!!

“yoongi wHAT are you talking about???”

“don’t play dumb!! you told them to jungkook, didn’t you???”

for a fact, you didn’t

you didn’t tell jungkook nor aNYONE else

what would you benefit from that??

what would yOONGI benefit from that??

“shut up!! you tOld about the strategies to jungkook and he told it to hoseok and nOW look at what happened!!! all of this, all of what i did, is gonna fall through just because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut!!”

jimin’s heart is dropping at this and he can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now

he knows to his heart that you wouldn’t do such a thing

or that all of this has to do with his decision and a series of coincidences that piled up for yoongi to mindlessly think that you’re the reason for what he’s pushing to be a leak

“yoongi, i would never-”

“dON’T TALK TO ME!!”

he’s burning

actually burning

so much so that he’s walking towards you and looking down on you

“you’re fired.”

wait

what the actual fuck

“yOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

“i can.”

jimin’s about to step in as he’s standing behind you and he’s already gripping at your arm

he needs to say something

and you know your standing with jimin isn’t the best but you’re just thinking about him

you know how he’s due for a promotion and a raise

and you know yoongi’s above and beyond gonna ruin his career if jimin dared to speak and atleast attempt to defend you and pin the blame on himself

“and i’m gonna get my father involved if i have to.”

that’s it

that’s the end of your career

you didn’t wait to get fired

knowing yoongi, he means what he says and so you didn’t waste a single second in packing up your bags and rounding up your documents

you already knew enough that yoongi’s dad have connections with the association and a single phone call could flip things over

so whether yoongi’s already made the call to his dad or not, you’re gonna leave either way

you’re making calls to your manager, the same one who came to your college and recruited you and jungkook, and had to explain as much as you can while pulling at all stops

said managers was saddened at the call and then she had to make that call to the ones in the upper positions so could aLSO explain as much as she can

honestly you don’t know either what’s gonna come out of this

either your name would be defamed wrongly, or nO one’s gonna notice at all and your sudden disappearance would have 99 versions and not one confirmed

they think it’s best to respect your decision of letting go and even if you’ve signed a contract, this “firing” is as good as official

also they think it’s best to relay the statement of you making an “indefinite leave” due to a “family emergency of grave importance” which translates to no this isn’t an indefinite leave but instead you’re leaving for good

it’s both a blessing and a curse that this happened far into the season

a blessing since there’s only two races left after this and that means less adjustments with the team dynamic and the news of your departure won’t be as focused on because yeah last two races

a curse since these last two races are critical and yoongi just couldn’t wait until the last one to blame you and then fire you

no worries though

there are always replacements

aka which just points that you’re despensable and it’s nOT helping your self-esteem

backups are there in case the event a pit crew member gets injured (or worse, incapacitated; and they’re familiar with the work and the dynamic so it would be just a seamless fit

and all of that got arranged in less than two hours :)) there was even a flight you managed to book within that time

you didn’t even get to say goodbye to jungkook :((

he had to know all of it by a short n simple goodbye and see you soon text you sent before boarding and by asking jimin what happened

he was cOMPLETELY bawling his eyes out because his best friend left him :(( and he counts on you so much and you help him stay sANE

he’s beyond angry at yoongi and didn’t even bother to bat an eye when he walked past him

jimin feels so guilty and sad

he was a shitty crew chief to you for the most part and after all that, you still went through this considering hIM and his job and his dIGNITY even if it means you lose all three things and you already did

jimin cried when jungkook’s lip started trembling and he lost it completey by then

yoongi’s lost and empty and oblivious to all of this

he figures that it’s better to let some hours pass so he could cool down and reflect

that’s his second mistake however

yoongi’s complacent

and three hours have passed and he knows that at this time you’re still awake so he walked over to your room and just rang the bell

oh

he’s rung it three times now and uSUALLY you wouldn’t even let it pass two when it’s yoongi by the door

that’s weird

yoongi’s about to pull out his phone to call you to open the door but before

he could even press at your name, the door already opens

… it’s a middle-aged man …

“yOU’RE NOT Y/N”

…

…

“wrong door, kid.”

but that’s your room

yoongi knows you’ve left the circuit earlier than everyone because of what happened

that much he knows

but not this

yoongi dials jungkook instead because for sure he’d know where you are but then another door opens and that’s jUNGKOOK!!! leaving jimin’s room that’s a couple of doors from your room

“yA. do-…”

jungkook literally just walks past him and into the elevator

what

what is going ON

then yoongi’s jogging to jimin’s door that’s closing then he manages to wedge into his foot before it closes

“where’s Y/N?”

little did yoongi know that the answer would make him regret even asking you don’t have the slightest clue on how could possibly bounce back from this

maybe take a break; a week perhaps

get a job that’s for sURE

ignore yoongi’s texts and calls

reply to jungkook whenever he contacts you as much as he could in free time that he gets

assure jimin that you’re okay and he has nothing to apologize for

be eternally grateful for your friends that have your back no matter what and help you stay afloat and even giving you a job

bless the kim line

jin, namjoon, and taehyung were your ultimate friends in college besides jungkook

they are the most awesome and sWEETEST friend group you’ve ever had in your life

you didn’t get to hang out with them as frequently like you did with jungkook since the three of them were in the business course and you and kook on the student athlete side

but that didn’t change the fact that you give are inseperable and wHOLESOME

you and jungkook ended up being crew members for a famous and multi-million team in formula racing but you’ve retired wAY too early lmao

the three of them

well

not to brag

but they’re the proud owners and the brawns and the brains of kim kradle

KIM KRADLE!!

it’s a one-stop shop for everything that automobiles could possibly need

but why kim kradle do you ask???

well first of all,,, jin, namjoon, and taehyun have the same family name which is Kim so write that down

kradle? aha well :D

so for babies, there’s cradles, right??

they serve kinda like havens, right??

wHERE was ultron from avengers: age of ultron made??? the cradle. although their shop’s vision and mission are wAY WAY different from ultron’s

and like why name it kim cradle

when you can name it kIM KRADLE

they’ve had calls when they were starting out asking if they were selling baby cradles and the answer is N-O

it’s now a huge successful shop that’s like an open warehouse type!!

basically, the kim kradle is divided into three major operations

general services to intensive repair of parts and basically what goes on internally!! jin is in charge and heads that sector!!

he could see your car for two seconds and go “hey man, did you ever ace your karate lessons? lmao you have a broken fan belt not a black belt”

carwashes and waxing and all that good stuff!! namjoon is a beast at thus and your car could be like from 1997 and he’d clean it so good that it would look like it’s from 2030

customization!! from leather seats to metallic foils to coating!! taehyung has an instagram dedicated to his finished works and ongoing ones and like wHAT?? he has half a million followers?? no big deal

kim kradle is on the massive side and is therefore separated to three floors

namjoon and his carwashes are at the basement in which you’d still get sunlight in because there are inclined pathways on the side that lead out to an outdoor waiting area

jin is on the 2nd floor and basically in the same ground level where the civilization is because his section’s more critical and it’s the obvious option

taehyung gets the 3rd floor, and one part’s covered and the other is like a car balcony so when he finishes?? you could see that sunlight hitting the custom coat he did on your car

either kim kradle is so good, the placement and marketing are perfect, or the owners are just sO attractive and unparalled as to why so many people avail their services and most go through all three levels

maybe the formula is all three of those variables

you came home without knowing a sINGLE thing and being alone in your apartment is appreciated but it gets eerie and so isolating

and you called namjoon late into the night because he always knows what to say and you ended up having more than what you hoped for

you just wanted to have some comfort and ease because also,, namjoon’s voice is really soothing and u miss hearing it

not oNLY did you get some peace of mind

you also got a job without even actively looking for it at the moment and you couldn’t be anymore fulfilled

namjoon said that you could come in at kim kradle anytime at your own pace and they’d still welcome you with open arms

also said that jin and tae miss you sO much and it’s a good thing that namjoon is the one you called because if it’s either from the other two, you wouldn’t be able to sleep and perhaps you’d get visitors to your apartment at 2 in the morning

and this is it!!!

for once, you don’t want to confront a problem to the core

you’re just gonna distract yourself and make your way around it aha :D

two days later??? you’re working in kim kradle now!!!

and you know what??

you eVEN get the overalls

the only three people in kim kradle that wear overalls are jin, namjoon, and taehyung themselves

and it’s to kinda highlight the fact that they’re the owners and the heads of their sections

the rest wear boiler-style like suits 

all their uniforms are cute

like sERIOUSLY

jin is in charge of the color and there are actually multiple ones!! a pale pink to a nice lavender and a dark navy blue!! the first two are kinda impractical because it’s impossible to not get dirty in this job but they ARE adorable and stylish though

namjoon pushed for this uniform and so he really searched and handpicked fabrics that won’t be tOO hot and in which u could actively move in them

but sometimes there are tasks in which involve the straps for the overalls sliding down so tHE next big thing????

namjoon sewing but actually it became tAEHYUNG’S job because he’s gonna poke himself with the needle multiple times before even getting to put a thread in

made a lil hook by the custom shirts down to where it draped by the shoulders and it could hook the straps so like wHATEVER the four of you do, the overalls won’t slip :D

innovation amirite :D

and then it was taehyung’s job to have kim embroidered in really cute cursive by the back and the initials of their first name in a lil formal font below it

and the first names are embroidered in the front!!! 

tae was the one who wrapped the overalls into a large box and you genuinely didn’t expect that you’d be even given one

and it’s just that you’ve been so much on eDGE lately and every little thing turns you emotional these days ever since that incident with yoongi

“is she,,, she’s,,, is y/n sobbing??”

taehyung sputters because oh my god did his gift wrapping throw you off?? jeez he kinda knew at the back of his head that the bright neon green with some balloons saying “happy birthday” even if it’s nOT your birthday looks REPULSIVE and he didn’t have any other gift wrapper left but he didn’t know that it would be too repulsive to make you cry :((

“did we do something??”

jin looks worried because oh god maybe it was the joke he did awhile ago about you suddenly working here now

although namjoon eased their worries and oH you’re hugging the three of them!!!

“i-it’s just that-...”

you were only supposed to thank them for the overalls and the opportunity bUT it took some turns and it ended up with you telling them the story and namjoon having to fill in some gaps when you get too pouty and too sad to explain

tHEY GET IT NOW

anyways

it’s very easy to be thrown in the spur of things at the moment because you’re just grasping at every opportunity to distract yourself!! :D coping mechanisms!!!!

you’re with jin in his section because that’s your work!! that is your work before you got fired and you just got to continue it

but this time with all the time in the world

not really but an hour is a lifetime for you and you’re just used to repairing things in mere seconds

in mere seconds and you have to train for it like almost every second of the day sO this is a nice change :D

“a wrench?? i’m gonna replace the tires using a wrench??”

jin laughs at that because you’re holding it in disgust as you stare down the car that just got brought in

they don’t have a flat tire or anything!! they just wanna get new tires that are as exaggerated as their very-embellished and exaggerated jeep with their specs :D

“they don’t teach you that in racing school????”

://

you know how to replace tires with a wrench and a jack of course

but it’s just hitting you now that oh god this is very alike and different at the same time with your past job!!!

“you dON’T have pneumatic guns?? yeah sure they mAY be expensive but like work would be done quicker and you’d go through more customers?? oH my god jin??? you know what, i’m gonna call jimin right now. let me get you some things!!!”

well then,,,

actually,,,

jin mAY have a pneumatic gun lying around but they don’t use it because a) it’s not as fast and as efficient as what yOU use in the track b) what for honestly,,, c) this is not formula racing and most people aren’t in a rush

but you know what

this is going good for you!!!

jin’s learning new things from u and the other way around and you’re not wallowing in sadness tHAT much anymore :D

and you do feel that kim kradle is doing so much good on you!! you’re constantly with jin but sometimes you spice it up an transfer from floor to floor :))

pressure-washing with namjoon is very therapeutic and having excessive knowledge now about how to properly give your car the shiniest wax ever in your lifetime??

it’s excessive knowledge you wouldn’t trade for the world

you even go work with taehyung sometimes!!! you help him plan out color schemes and pick out fabric with him and go measure dimensions and eVEN do 3D mock-ups

watching and aLSO being able to mix custom coats to go on cars is very satisfying ok

tae even gives you the password to the instagram account :))

he gets you to do the close-ups sometimes and eVEN tells you a thing or two on how he edits these clips to be as satsfying and pleasing as possible

today’s just a slow day

only three cars have come to the shop and to your floor in the past hour nothing from the three of them needed that much TLC

two of them just needed to get their tires’ air pressure checked and have them pumped to match

the other one was just towed here because it’s the nearest shop and just has a dead battery :((

you don’t know how you and jin could pass the time because there isn’t any tv in the area since sOMEONE (jin himself) got distracted too much by watching sherlock and he jUST wanted to know how sherlock pulled off operation lazarus!!!!

it clearly wasn’t his intention to keep pumping up the jack and almost have the whOLE car tip over because he had it up all the way

that was an accident :))

he didn’t even notice that so many of his boys were dashing for the side of the car to keep it from falling and when one of them called out his name, jin had the aUDACITY to shush him because there goes the climax!!!

wOOpS aha oh no what happened to the car :D

the next big thing that jin could do? ask you and catch up about all the technical stuff in formula racing so he could learn too ya know

“what happens if a wing gets dented or like dEFORMED?? how would that be fixed that quickly??”

“ooh!! good question!! actually-...”

that sound

you miss that sound :((

someone’s driving in your floor by the sounds of it and you don’t even need to turn your head to know that it must be a rEALLY cool car :((

it reminds you of the sounds you hear on the track and it’s one that you dearly miss

the growl of whatever car this is loud but like nOT obnoxious of pricks that just wanna show off in traffic and rev up their engine, y’know??

jin could only be so happy because fINALLY

another customer and another task to do to pass this day and it’s nOT a prius!!!!!!!

fucking finally

jin stands up immediately and you immediately follow him and this car’s getting attention from the other workers at the floor because whew

they all know to back off and go back to working on previous and existing projects because aH they see jin smiling giddily and almost jogging and you’re in tow from excitement

it’s a nice car!!!

a maserati granturismo in sleek black!!! jin’s only saw one of these come in the shop driveway but only for them to pULL out and it’s just because they needed to maneuver to go back to a u-turn

what a prick ://

he was excited that day and for wHAT??? someone to use their driveway just so they could reverse their car???? that’s just rude

the owner in mystery comes out and is aLREADY TALKING and- wait

isn’t that yoongi?

yOONGI?????

“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“

that’s

oh my god that’s yOU

the season’s wrapped up like a week ago and the last races were tough so tough than he could’ve ever imagined and it was even harder without you

yoongi won the season

but he lost you though :((

he was so enraged at himself the moment jimin told him about the verdict you took and how you quit before he could fire you — for good yoongi has no one to blame but himself and god he’s just so mad at himself

even up to now actually

his pride was so enormous that he didn’t even tHINK that he might be the problem as to why he placed 7th in that race

and instead, he just needed someone, anyone, for him to blame and you’re the fIRST person he sees and he immediately takes his anger and frustration out on you

you would never do such things and he’s disgusted at himself for even tHINKING that you’d ever betray him like that

he was regretting every bit of his words and actions that he said and did out of blind spite

if he could punch himself he would GLADLY do that and knock himself out yoongi was both panicked and livid

had a hard time breathing too because oh gOd he just can’t stop thinking about you and the things he’s caused that are too late to bring back and reverse :((

he kept pleading to atleast follow you home even for just some hours and he’ll immediately go back to the hotel as if he never left

but he can’t do that and he hATES it

god this wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t a big fucking aSSHOLE!!! throughout the whole week ever since you left the team, he was a gigantic mess

like he still is now

but he had dark circles under his eyes that were swollen from crying so much

his lips were set in a frown as a default

yoongi was doing well with the streak of not biting and picking at his fingernails and his cuticles but now tHAT’S broken alright

he’s tried reaching out to jungkook multiple times

he’s tried apologizing but he always gets a deadpanned response of how he isn’t the one he needs to apologize to

kook sees the sincerity of yoongi trying to apologize because he’s hurt you, his best friend, but that’s not the important issue here

you called jungkook unknowingly in the middle of his and yoongi’s conversation and the boy just almost jUMPS at jungkook to try and borrow his phone with his pleads and as much as his heart goes out (he still hATES yoongi ok), jungkook’s not gonna let him

he tries getting jimin to let him borrow his phone and call you and jimin won’t let him either because this is not his place and you’ve been through enough

the closest yoongi’s ever got to you??

jimin still feels so sorry and guilty to this day

and he’s conflicted and confused and a lil sad

but jimin did call you in front of yoongi on speaker :(((

and yoongi got to hear you answer with a chipped-out voice :(((

and he’s just so tempted to speak out loud but if he does that, then jimin will forever be mad at him too probably and he’s also promised that he’s gonna pretend he isn’t there

ask her if she already ate dinner

yoongi won’t stop typing in his notes tho and wave it frantically for jimin to ask you

and you’re responding truthfully because what’s jimin gonna do?? fLY to your home and cook you spaghetti?????

of course not

that’s what yoongi wants to do :(( if only he can :((

his win felt so empty and it just feels so dull without you here

also knowing that he’s drived out one of the only people that puts up with him and is always patient and is the reason to why he’s been so inspired lately

and one of these days

just one of these days, yoongi wants to drive to your apartment and camp out the door if he needs to just so he could redeem himself and earn forgiveness and try to mend what he’s broken

not today though

not today when the moment yoongi finally gathered the words and the courage to go to you, with the blessing of jungkook giving him his address but with a very sTRICT warning that scared the shit out of him.,.,.,

but also with his airconditioning broken and something just tells him that he needs to take it to a shop because it’s been awhile ever since he drove normal cars

and yoongi actually forgot the gravity of all this so he’s a bit nervous because maybe this is a more serious case with his car and it’s just the universe’s way of telling him to go to you tomorrow

or as soon as his car gets taken to the shop

maybe he needs to polish up some lines and try practicing them better from the heart

yoongi could go to jimin and have it fix it for him but like that’s tOO far of a drive and he just needs a quick fix

ooh

kim kradle!!! it’s the nearest shop to his place that has five stars on it

and he’s still a bit wary because his face and his name and win did land on the news and he’s been trending lately and like wHAT IF someone takes advantage of his car or scams him because they know who he is this car is his frequent and it holds a sentimental value to his heart ok

kim kradle is bigger than he’s pictured it in his mind

woah it actually looks cool and promising

christ it’s so hot inside his car god he needed to open up a little bit of his window but mosquitoes would creep in and tHEY’RE annoying and a real hazard to kill while you’re driving down the road

he wants to get this over with quickly

yoongi just needs to drive to your place and see you asap

“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“

oh

that’s you

wAIT THAT IS YOU

“y/n?”

his hands are literally shaking right now oh my god

it’s been some twenty-seven days ever since he’s last saw you and here you aRE

here you are in a place he’s least expected to see you because he’s on the way to see you but actually yOU’RE HERE

“yoongi.”

you acknowledge him back and god you don’t know what to feel

jin immediately senses what’s happening and deep-down he is pANICKING alright

he’s been in contact with jungkook and in the back of their minds, they knew that yoongi won’t let this go without his ever-present persistence

and eventually like maybe yoongi’s gonna know that you work here and the last time that he checked, yoongi doesn’t even know kim kradle

bUT JIN DIDN’T KNOW THAT THIS TIME WOULD COME THIS SOON OK

he immediately steps in and insert himself in between you and yoongi that he’s trying to close the distance to you and that surprises yoongi completely

“airconditioning, right? keys please. i’ll check it out!!”

yoongi wastes no time in shoving the keys to jin’s hand and he couldn’t be anymore desperate to talk to you

he doesn’t wanna cross boundaries obviously even if jin’s already moved out of the way

you’re still glued to your spot trying to process the situation and your fight or flight response is not exactly working right now

is there a disbelief and yearning and standing in sadness and anger option in that fight or flight choice

“i haven’t seen you in so long.”

that’s what usually happens when you become an asshole yOONGI

god how are you supposed to react

“you too.”

there’s this awkward distance in between the two of you and it’s too deep to even get between 

yoongi suddenly forgets the words that’s been in his mind for the longest time,, just brewing and evolving and always changing as he just wants to fix the damage he’s done :((

he’s about to get closer but

“the cooling fan’s just clogged. it could be finished within like fifteen minutes man :D”

jin doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing but he ‘s dOING whatever this is ok

although that is factual

the cooling fan is just a bit dirty and there’s some debris in there that could be cleared quickly

but he just needs to do it extra carefully because this is a nice car ok

i mean he sTILL cares for cars in the same way even if not every car he gets in the shop is a maserati granturismo 

he’s just a lil bit nervous even thOUGH he’s an expert at this ok

“fIFTEEN MINUTES???”

yoongi’s freaking out and he’s gripping at his hair in panic because wHAT

THAT SHOULD TAKE AN HOUR

goddamn why does kim kradle have to be a five-star shop :((

“y-yeah.,, i can do it in ten if you’re in a hurry-”

“aha nO NO :D i’m not in a hurry at all!!! please, take your time!!”

oh god what does he do now

yoongi walks over to his car and that confuses both you and jin

because what

he has half of his body in the driver’s seat and it sEEMS that he’s fishing for something in his glovebox

it’s a lil swiss knife

bUT WHY

he kept it in the gloveboxes of his cars because seatbelts are not exactly fool-proof and you could be stuck in them and he’s scared of that

and also if he’s gotten a takeout of a burger and it’s too big and he’s driving with one hand so he’ll just whip out his lil swiss knife and cut haphazardly

“what’s your name, man??”

“jin!! kim seokjin :D you’re-”

wait

what the fuck is yoongi doing

oh 

did he just-

“also forgot to tell you!!! my tires are running flat and i tHINK they need to be changed!! so sorry man it just came up”

deadass

yoongi literally just slashed his four tires

jin’s sPUTTERING

and he’s looking back and forth to you and to yoongi and his car

“are you -- are you sEEING -- y/n tell me wait what the fuck iS YOONGI SLASHING HIS TIRES????”

whatever it takes

whatever to buy his time with you and so as much as he can

you’re quite taken aback because oh did yoongi just do that

jin has only known yoongi personally for like eight minutes and he could positively say that he is on aNOTHER level

yoongi’s approaching you again and it only hits you nOW

“have you eaten lunch already?”

your mouth is dry and you absolutely can’t look at yoongi because it just feels so unreal 

“no. hEy uh-...”

“no?? oh my gOD hold on just stay still, yeah? i’m gonna get lunch hOld on-”

yoongi’s immediately scarmbling for the exit

he has no concrete plan but he sure is hellbent in getting you lunch even though his car’s tires are slashed and he’s gonna be walking in an area he’s unfamiliar with

you really haven’t eaten lunch 

you were just about to say a half-assed reason of namjoon calling you just to exit this situation because you are nOT ready and yoongi’s already off before you could mutter it

jin’s gears are just on a frenzy

“oh so that’s min yoongi.,.,,. jusT slashed his own tires,.,,. that’s.... endearing.,.,,”

you’ve detached yourself from the situation and you couldn’t really stand seeing nor interacting with yoongi

you’ve cooped up yourself in jin’s office and the moment yoongi came back holding up take-out for boTH you and jin, his car’s already all-done

jin gives him a look that’s telling and yoongi gets it

“oh. that’s okay. just uh, just leave this for y/n, can you? there’s enough for the two of you. thanks, jin :))”

you need a moment

that one’s obvious

taehyung insisted that you come home early and you obliged because oh god you nEED a moment

you come into work the next day and sure enough, you’re all well-rested and this time they could ask about what happened yesterday

even hear jin’s point of view on how yoongi is just so wILD

taehyung is in alert and so in namjoon

they’re all ears ok

jin’s telling his story and tae’s nudging you discreetly and makes you look at a box!!!

a box he’s ordered online a couple days ago after he saw you breakdown and you’re looking in awe as you whisper because u don’t wanna disrupt jin

“gel nails???”

the same one you always wanted and it’s flashing back to when you saw yoongi talking to dahyun!!!

oh this is really happening???

“dO IT YOURSELF!!!”

taehyung’s grabbing your hand immediately as he opens the box and he’s sO pumped for this because he stayed up all night watching how to do gel nails yourself!!

he even bought a nice uv lamp for it!! he’s tHAT dedicated

this takes your mind off of yoongi for awhile

a car pulls up yet again and you’re getting the chills again bUt it just turned out to be jungkook

aND HOBI!!!

hobi finished second this season!!

they immediately flock to the lot of you and you’re not sure on who flocks who because everyone’s just genuinely happy to see each other

even the kim line meeting hobi for the first time is such a fun experience

jungkook immediately goes to you and he sEES taehyung doing something to your hand

he’s not sure what he’s doing

but he knows that he wants IN okay

he wants to these gel nails on your other hand

he doesn’t know shit on how to do them but he’s gonna learn along the way aND he is not backing down 

taehyung wasn’t aware that this is a competition now but apparently iT IS NOW :O

it’s not ensured that your two hands will look the exact same because you think they’re going for the what looks better competition and not let’S DO THIS IDENTICALLY because these are y/n’s hands y’know 

you’re about to fall asleep with how this is lowkey soothing

this is not the quickest manicure to do on anybody

especially if it’s someone’s first time and they’re really aIMING for it to be perfect

although it’s not easy because another car pulls up and you’re pANICKED that it might be yoongi 

oh nah it’s okay that’s not his car anyway!!!

you sometimes forget.... that yoongi’s a race car driver....

and there’s a possibility.... that he has multiple cars....

that’s yoongi alright

he steps down in a hurry and makes a beeline for you because he could immediately spot you!!! even in crowds!!!

you’re somehow ensured that yoongi’s gonna decide against going to you because you’re not alone

taehyung’s on your left and jungkook’s on your right and they’re not leaving your side until they finish their masterpieces for like another half hour

oH HE’S GOING FOR IT

“y/n, hI!!”

coming in strong but that’s ok

“jungkook :]”

he acknowledges kook and you’re not exactly up-to-date with how these two stand with each other 

but kook kinda just gives him a confused glance (jIN CALLED HIM LAST NIGHT) and nods back to yoongi

what

taehyung has his lips parted because what,,, why.,., 

yoongi’s about to open his mouth to talk to this guy that’s holding your hAND???

oh this is the part right

“i’m,,, kim taehyung.,.,.,”

“min yoongi. nice to meet you :))”

he sticks out his hand and tae blindly reaches for it and he doesn’t know wHY he shook it and he’s still confused up to to now

what is yoongi doing

wHAT IS HE DOING

you only realize now that yoongi has something in his hands and he’s looking dead straight to you and he doesn’t falter once

(he’s nervous on the inside trUST HIM)

“i know you’re not that comfy in seeing me and that’s tOTALLY okay!! i respect that!! it’s just uH i realized that uhm,.,., do you remember that time we were karting? and you won and we ki -- when you wON?? and you said that the winner gets one week of presents,,.,, and i just want to fulfill that.”

yoongi’s voice is wavering because oh shit this iS hard to swallow down

“even if i might be a little late.”

he wordlessly sets down a wrapped present by your feet, just in the middle of a sitting jungkook and taehyung who are listening all this time and have curious eyes on the neatly-wrapped present that’s been laid down

he leaves and stalks over to jin

“what happened now yoongi.,.,.,”

“my guess is that there are some rocks stuck in the wheel bearings. maybe even in the mags. four on the left, three on the right.”

....

hmmmm

“that’s nice, man. just a hunch??”

“yup :)) just a hunch :)) aLSO: can i have a stool?? i’m just gonna wait here, y’know :))”

yoongi’s not expecting anything from you

he doesn’t mind rejection or you ignoring him all throughout because he knows that he deserves it

he deserves it for sure

sometimes he sees you in the corner of his eye

or you helping out jin on fixing yoongi’s other car

or the other one

your own pace

your pace is what matters and yoongi isn’t gonna take any shortcut or undercut

this isn’t formula racing

this is yOU and him being patient until you feel like acknowledging him

of course he still apologizes

texts you even if you’re across the room

sees you open the text and you’d send him a look and you’d be giving him the slightest smile before you occupy yourself again

yoongi’s okay with that.

he keeps coming back

this is the third car and it’s nOT EVEN HIS ANYMORE

he’s just texting friends asking “yO do u need you car washed or fixed or something??? i’ll take it to the shop for you fREE OF CHARGE!!!”

he’s that invested in this and he doesn’t see himself giving up this is good for kim kradle of course but oh god this is aMUSING TOO throughout the week, yoongi hasn’t faltered either in continuing at giving you the gifts

the first one he’s given you?? a box full of trinkets he’s been collecting for every country that he’s visited ever since you gave him that caffeine pill!!

just random things he’s seen in malls or souvenir shops or airport boutiques that reminded him of you, all in a box with a single note

i miss you. - yoongi

you’re not gonna lie

you do miss yoongi too

but the things he’s done still make you wince when you’re thinking about it and even though he’s apologized in all ways but a face-to-face one

because you’re not that lax with him, the both of you know that this isn’t just a one and done thing

things take time and yoongi’s taking it at your pace and you’re grateful for it

warming up is always relative and so is forgiveness longing’s still there but it’s just a matter of suppressing it and yeah you dO miss yoongi

you’re lost without him too although you’re not gonna make that anymore obvious because that’s just devastating to think about you think he’s about to reach the end of his rope and it throws you in the whirlwind of oH

this is the sixth consecutive day that yoongi’s been coming to kim kradle yesterday was the first bIG interaction you’ve ever done with him

because since you don’t talk to him as much, he just takes his time as he waits for the services for the cars that he brings by making conversation with the guys

he’s gotten to know jin and joon and tae aND YEAH they like him but they do grill him separately though because they’re mad at what he’s done to you

but he’s also apologized to them and made promises that he’s gonna be keeping

jin doesn’t cook by the kitchen anymore because yoongi keeps bringing takeout or sometimes hE’S THE ONE WHO COOKS in his home and brings it to u guys

is it bad that he all bought you lunchboxes

is it bad that your lunchbox is the fanciest out of all of them and you have more portions and yours are always cut up like he did with the pork.,.,..

it’s not bad as lonG as you pretend to unsee the three kims stealing food from you and just go about to eating your food

but the big interaction did happen yesterday

and it was you suddenly calling out yoongi’s name as he’s sat by the car but he sTILL heard you and he swears he’s gonna cry

because oh god it’s been a long time ever since you said his name in that tone

“you’re not gonna eat with us?”

OH DAMN

he’s a mess

“uhm weLL do you want me too?? it’s oKAY uhm pls just-“

“don’t make me regret asking, yoongs.”

yOONGS

Y O O N G S

yoongi is instantly walking his ass to the little makeshift dining circle because oh my god YES

he doesn’t overstep tho and he just sits in between namjoon and

taehyung as he eats and every few minutes he sneaks a look at you and sometimes you look at him aND IT’S JUST LIKE the start all over again there’s the last piece of tteokbokki and everyone’s just feeling it out and looking at it

and yoongi

the bold man that he is

picks it up with his chopsticks aND

oh he’s putting it on your lunchbox

:))))))))

the night’s late and taehyung called yoongi to say that the car (it’s actually yoongi’s) he’s brought in for a ceramic coating and custom leather seats are all finished and wrapped up

and if he wants, he could go to the shop right now and pick it up since namjoon’s finishing up by the basement anyways and it would still be open then

and he does pick it up

he knows his way around the store

you could either take the stairs or the lift if you’re coming in into kim kradle without a car to go up and down the levels but he’s patient so he’ll just take the stairs

what he wasn’t expecting though

something that makes him cease his whistling as he goes up to the third floor to fetch his car

is you

rIGHT there

besides his car

and this is the only time that the both of you are alone and his throat is suddenly dry

you know this too though

you were intending to staying up late here just to finish on the car that’s been brought in two days ago with the broken engine that you think is worth salvaging

and you just wanted to see the view :((

reminisce to how you’ve been seeing yoongi in the flesh for six days straight and how you wanna tackle this conflict right to the head but you’re unsure to how :((

it doesn’t take a genius to know that yOONGI himself is right behind you

as you are aware too that this is his car that taehyung’s been working on thank u very much

“i want you to know that i’m not giving up on you.”

his words cut through the cold air and it surely gets your attention even if your back is still turned to him as you’re hunched over the balcony

“i’m running out of cars to bring, the one week of presents is ending, and

i’m so cLOSE to putting up a cot so i could sleep here.”

he’s serious about that one

seeing you just makes everything better no matter the circumstance it calms his heart and everything in him and he’s not gonna stop at nO matter what to try and make up for the things he’s done

“but you’re worth all this.”

yoongi dares to take a step closer and this time you could already see him by your peripheral vision

“you’re worth it,” and he needs a collective second to exhale the heaviness that’s sitting on his chest because oh gOd he was really an asshole huh

“i don’t know how long it’s gonna take, but i’m willing to wait.”

this is more nerve-wracking than any report card or championship results he’s been ever given and he’s not ashamed to admit that

“i love you, y’know?”

that’s the thing he’s been wanting to say for a long time he doesn’t know in the first place on wHY the hell was he scared because now that he says it to you, he feels like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life :(((

“good night, y/n.”

and the main purpose to why he’s here completely escapes his mind

he just misses you sO much that it’s so painful and all he could do is imagine scenarios and look back at all the pictures he’s taken of you half of it he’s sure that you never even noticed him taking

aND IT HITS YOU

something that hits you with the way that his car keys have the sticker of your initials on them

or the way when taehyung asked you out to help him with the leather interior for yoongi’s car and your scrunchie that you must’ve left is wrapped snugly on his handbrake

or how in the final checking for his car did you know that your playlist that you don’t even rEMEMBER mentioning to him is the one that’s on repeat in his radio

yoongi stops the moment that you call out for his name and god he’s closing his eyes because all the worst possible scenarios of you calling for him to stop this is enough to make him cry

you’ve also never been more sure of anything in your life

your hand just barely grips yoongi’s arm, staring up at him as you get to notice the features of his that you’ve always loved and missed all this time

yoongi’s hand’s open and so is your heart for all this

it’s the same keys that he’s went here for the first place, the ones with your intials on as he only realizes now that he’s done that

“drive me home.”

[fericita-s]

Dance Lessons

A story in the Dangerous Secrets ‘verse, expanding on something Agnarr mentions in Chapter 28. Thanks @the-spaztic-fantastic​ for beta-ing and coming up with the term ”practice girl” and thanks to @jomiddlemarch for use of her sweet marten. And thanks @marimancusi​ for encouraging fan fiction about these two.

Agnarr

“How are you so bad at this?” I asked, but quietly, since the dance instructor was already annoyed at us ten minutes into the lesson.  I spun her around and she wobbled a bit as her hand twirled in mine. “You can climb a tree quicker than a sweet marten!”

Iduna stomped on my toe again as I drew her close, my hand again at her waist and hers on my shoulder, our other hands extended in front of us in an awkwardly straight line, like they were trying to escape the ballroom but had to stay attached to the rest of us, trapped in this lesson.  

Iduna gave a half groan, half giggle. She sucked in her breath at the look of irritation the dance teacher shot at her and lifted herself on her tiptoes to whisper in my ear.  “That’s outside.  And in clothes that are easier to move in.” She pulled at the bodice of her ballgown, one that Gerda had surprised her with this morning.  “This dress is so wide I could be wearing snowshoes under here and you’d never know.”

“Oh, I’d know.” I whispered back.  “Because you’d step on me hard enough to leave an imprint.”

The teacher stopped clapping a rhythm and began to use his walking stick to pound one on the floor. “ONE, two, three!  ONE, two, three!  Twirl and a-GAIN!”

Iduna stopped even trying to do the dance and twirled away from me, spinning like a leaf falling from a tree in autumn, her hair floating behind her and her eyes merry. She collided with a column and laughed.  “Pardon me, good sir,” she said, bowing to it.  I laughed and the teacher threw his cane on the floor.

“Sixteen and fourteen!  You’re both acting like toddlers. I’ll not waste my time,” he said in the strange cadence he had, like he was counting out a dance with his very words.  He swept out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him.  

I could hardly believe my luck.  

But then, good things always happened when I was with Iduna.  

She looked at me, her eyes wide.  “Are we in trouble? Did I just get you in trouble?”

I shrugged.  “Maybe.  But I’m not worried. I think we learned enough.”

She walked over to me, lifting her voluminous skirts and kicking off her shoes.  “I bet I could do better without these shoes on.  Let’s try again.  It will be easier without him yelling and trying to crack the floor.”

She hummed a melody under her breath and we returned our hands to the familiar positions, recreating the waltz.  It was easier without the teacher yelling at us, even fun. Her waist under my hand felt warm and small and she was smiling.  I wondered if she was enjoying it as much as I was, and lifted my hand to spin her around.  When I spun her back towards me, we went too fast and she crashed against my chest.

We stopped for a moment, frozen in place.  She wasn’t smiling anymore and instead was looking at me with a confused expression, like I had just changed the dance without her knowing. 

I felt a flutter in my chest and had a wild desire to tuck her hair behind her ear, to rub it between my fingers to see if it felt as smooth as it looked. 

She cleared her throat and stepped back.  “I think we mastered that one.  How about a new one?”

I shook my head, trying to clear away these new thoughts and feelings that were making it suddenly difficult to concentrate on what she was saying.  “New dance? Do you know one?”

She clapped her hands and put her nose in the air.  “The disrespect!” she shouted, imitating the cadence of the dance teacher perfectly.  “I will teach you a new dance that only the very best dancers can perform!”

I laughed, the feelings that had risen just a moment ago gone as I again looked at my friend, certain she was about to make me laugh. “Let’s see then,” I said.  “What’s it called?”

She drew herself up, back straight and hands raised above her head in an approximation of...antlers?

“It is called ‘the reindeer who has to pee really badly, but is stuck inside a fancy ballroom,’” she said, hopping from one foot to the other and ducking her head low.  

I laughed and copied her and we pranced around like the wild animals we wanted to be and I didn’t think a ball could ever be as much fun as we were having right then.

Iduna

I saw Agnarr less after I was living in the castle than I had when I was living in my cottage.  Neither of us knew how to be just friends after months and months of being so much more, but we nodded awkwardly in the long corridors as we passed each other and made up reasons to leave the library or kitchens if we found ourselves there at the same time.

It will be over soon, I told myself. 

Soon he would meet Runa and he’d marry her or some other princess.  When I saw him married, a queen on his arm, then I would be able to move past this paralysis his love had cast over me.  Like I was trapped in a mist of my own making.

Gerda suggested we practice and arranged for a violinist to come to the ballroom the night before the Vassar delegation was expected to arrive.  My ballgown was getting some final alterations so I wore a simple dress, one that Agnarr had already seen me wear a million times before.  

Runa probably never wore the same dress twice.  She probably never complained about ballgowns either, had probably never caused a dance teacher to quit in frustration out of hopelessness at the likelihood of imparting any knowledge.

The violinist started a waltz and Agnarr offered a slight bow, his hand extended to me.  I took it and he gripped me firmly about the waist.  I put my other hand lightly on his shoulder, even though I wanted to grip him tightly and bury my face into his chest.  

To be so close to him was torture.  

“I don’t want to do this,” he murmured, his mouth inches from my ear.  For a moment I was crushed, thinking he meant dancing with me.  But then he continued.  “I don’t want to meet her.  Not when-”

I cut him off. “It will be fine! It’s for the best!” I had to get him to stop talking.  I couldn’t bear to hear him say he loved me. “Maybe she’ll be really nice!”  I forced a smile, hoping the tears that were building in the corner of my eyes could be mistaken for bright merriment instead of sadness.  “At the very least, she’ll be a better dance partner than me.”

“Not a chance,” he said. His hand lifted mine to spin me perfectly, effortlessly, and I thought of the last times our fingers were entwined, the two of us in my cottage, our bodies pressed together and no words spoken as we said goodbye.

"Give her a chance!" I said as the bile rose in my throat. “She could be your friend too.  Your friend and queen.” I almost choked on the words.  It was what I wanted to be.  But this was all I could be.  The practice girl.  The girl who readied him for other girls, other women, more suitable. 

He shook his head and smiled.  “No one can possibly be as good of a friend as you are to me, Iduna.” And just as the wild thought was rising in my throat to shout I’m your enemy! I’m a terrible friend! I’ve been lying to you! he put a hand on his head and - was he making antlers? I smiled before I meant to and he laughed.

“Perhaps that should be the secret sign I give you to show that I need to be rescued.  That I can’t take any more of the princely duties.” He reached for my hands again and we were dancing once more, matching the melody of the violin as it echoed across the empty ballroom.  

“Crown Prince in distress doesn't have quite the same ring to it as Damsel in Distress.  Must not happen as often.”

Agnarr nodded, considering.  “Must not have someone as wonderful as you to rescue them.”

He gripped me tighter at the waist and my breath caught, the familiar nearness of him too much.

“It's true.  You have already rescued me,” he whispered.

“Agnarr.  Stop.  Please stop.”  I stepped back from his arms, already missing their warmth and wondering if it would be the last time we touched and thinking of the first time we touched, when I had rescued him.  But he couldn’t know that.  And now he never would. I crossed my arms across my chest and rubbed at them with my hands.

He put his hands out, reaching for me, trying to calm me like I’d seen him try to calm a stray dog.  Like I was a  wild thing, unpredictable.  “No, our friendship, not even what came next.  Being your friend saved me and I don't know if I can stand to stop being your friend.”

“I don’t know if I can stand to keep being your friend,” I said, barely above a whisper.  He looked at me with pain in his eyes and I was so used to comforting him when he looked that way that I took a step forward before I shook myself and stopped.  

The violinist stopped playing.  “Another tune? Something more lively?”

Agnarr’s eyes were on mine and I didn’t know what secret sign to give him that would tell him what I wanted but what couldn’t be. “No thank you,” I called out.  “I’m just leaving now.”  

I turned and left and was in the hallway before the tears started to fall. It will be over soon, I told myself again.  You made a new start before.  You can do it again. 

But I wasn’t sure I believed it.

[cautelous]

arcane bellyaching & whatnot feel free to look away it’s mostly rambling and the result of me being up early for other reasons. also talking about politics i guess if that isn’t your thing

damn they really did pull the “what side are you on? the oppressors or the oppressed? both sides are weighted as the same by this statement, and also here’s some animated police brutality!” thing huh

like yeah sure of course i’m not saying that piltover pre-the-present-day has to be perfect and whatnot (nor does present-day piltover have to be perfect either, but... idk, not a fan of this direction!) and of course that is me speaking about old, independent, single-city piltover - i guess this new one can be as corrupt as it wants for as long as it wants - but like, insanely uncomfortable to have just talked about the way that caitlyn’s outfits and abilities and general thing have become less “detective” and more “militarized cop” and how everyone is eating that up because it’s hot that she has more clothes and it’s hot that she has a SWAT outfit only for. ok here is our trailer with a scene of policemen physically breaking up protests! (of course people do seem to be cringing somewhat at that, which is good, and i am not saying that a work of art/piece of media can’t talk about such things, but like. do we trust riot to?)

like even if that scene is from the past (which considering that arcane seems to be both in the past and present, eh, 50/50) then the implication is just that current piltover hasn’t solved whatever issue caused said protest and also hasn’t stopped brutalizing, because current piltover lore has such delightful color stories as “caitlyn electrocutes someone with a bola net” and “vi lectures rich pilties and physically threatens them for breaking windows for the ~zaunite cause~”. the latter is literally just repeating the message that all property damage in protests is the work of outside forces and actually good real actual protesters are completely peaceful :), you see, and so any property damage during a protest immediately discounts its legitimacy. so like. (and secondarily, child of zaun portrays zaunites as easily swayed by a demagogue, unlike those Very Smart Piltovians and Vi, Who’s Not Really Accepted As Fully Zaunite Anymore You See And That’s Her Character Struggle.)

so either a) nothing has gotten better since however many years in the past that scene in arcane was or b) this is the present, and the present in this work of fiction is just. mirroring reality’s present, which is just... i dunno. i think that a fictional world so apart from our own (to the extent that there’s no homophobia, at least from word-of-god, but idk i also have thoughts on that declaration) can do better than 1:1 mirror our world’s police brutality and class struggles. but i’m always an idealist who’d like to see media do more than darkness for the sake of darkness, or repeat reality for the sake of repeating reality and nothing more.

anyways idk man hope they don’t impart absolutely horrid themes in their multi-million-dollar project (or however much this ended up costing) but considering this starting point i am not very sure of that!

anyways idk x2 there’s totally a way to do a piltover-zaun "cities at war” narrative in old lore framing that shows both the struggles of piltover and zaun and compares and contrasts them. piltover “wins” in that framework because zaun is a hypercapitalist hellhole and old piltover’s implications are closer to a steampunk utopia than anything else, but i think the point of that narrative wouldn’t be “see, both sides are bad! and good! equally! just a big old moral perfectly-balanced scale!” like this seems to be shaping up to be, but like. showing that there is goodness and good people even under the most soul-crushing of states (zaun. and also a narrative that i think is important, considering how often we confuse being a citizen of a country for being a follower of that country’s government’s ideology) and that a good nation* and good lives for its citizens has to be worked for with blood, sweat, and tears - and even then it is so easy to fall back into old patterns of behavior and fall upon old prejudices and backslide into a “more comfortable” (for some), but worse society (piltover. and, again, also a narrative that i think is important).

*i have many thoughts about if a nation can be “truly good”, but i would be mad if i thought league or most media would touch the idea of a stateless society with a ten-foot pole. so we’re just working within reason here.

i dunno. tl;dr not very excited at riot choosing to tackle police brutality in their fun animated series for fans when their track record with revolutionaries is what it is. (yes xayah and rakan are portrayed in a positive light yes that’s the gottem everyone uses for when people bring up how xerath and sylas are treated. there are multiple types of revolutionaries and the lovebirds are of a stripe (a feather?) that is easier to market.) not very excited (still, what a surprise) about zaun being squeezed into entirely being the poor underclass, because i feel like that nukes a lot of narratives you could have done with old zaun that would, you know, be directly critical of capitalism and whatnot. there are very interesting stories to tell with these two cities, and i’ve told some of them and my friends have told some of them, and i am just tired of this... bottom-of-the-barrel gritty-to-be-gritty low-hanging-fruit take that riot has chosen. i think that a company, even one making a mass-market game, who tries so hard to convince everyone that they have serious lore for serious people can and should do better than this.

what do i close this ramble with. go play disco elysium? yeah. let’s go with that. go play disco elysium. i like it and think it does a variety of complex themes that other works can only dream of.

[poptod]

Baby, My Love is Yours (Kenny x Reader)

Description: His words make your heart ache, and you put the entirety of your trust in him.

Notes: Male coded/MLM. I’m a huge fan of gender neutral fics (as shown by my AO3) but, when it comes to gay characters, I don’t like taking that away from them. 

Words: 3.5k, sorry it’s so short

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23086324

Based off this song (I wrote and sung it)

In all honesty you haven’t known him for very long - at most, a few months, though your grasp on how time works is rather weak. If only you could pinpoint the exact date when you met. Of course, when you first met him, there wasn’t exactly a spark, or a flame, between the two of you; not even within you alone. He spoke anxious but excited, every topic lighting an excitement in his eyes, but you didn’t notice. Not until your fifth meeting.

You’d moved back to your hometown after a long trip of moving around the world, and found yourself not fitting in at all like you had before. At the age of seven, close to every kid had the same interests - having fun, playing, simply burning away the energy till that joy couldn’t come so easily. Nearly ten years later you find yourself in a place you know so well but would never again understand. You were probably the only family in town that had left the state, and that difference cut a deep separation between you and your classmates. You saw the world, and every person in it as entirely different and wonderfully unique from yourself, while many others only knew the people they’d known all their life.

Luckily, there was one person who welcomed you back rather warmly - your old friend, one of your best friends: Larry Gold. An enthusiastic boy too deep in fiction to see that the world didn’t revolve around the stories he knew, but the best shot you had at having any sort of friendships in your old, unfamiliar town. Second day back at the school he came up to you, frowning somewhat.

“You look sorta… familiar. Did we - did - were you here a few years ago?” He asks, gesturing vaguely with his hands at the mostly empty classroom, the students having long gone with the ring of the bell. “Sorry, if not,” he adds. “I just can’t shake the feeling.”

“No, uh, yeah. I was here, like ten years ago? I dunno. I’m (Y/N), you’re…” you blank for a second, before remembering his name. “Larry, right?”

“Yeah! Wow, I… wow. It’s been a while. Where’d you go?”

You catch him up on the way to the lunchroom - Montana, then to Switzerland, then to Korea, to Scotland, before moving to Italy - then Germany, and finally back to the States.

“Holy shit,” he laughs, filling his tray up with the horrid looking lunch ‘meat’.

“It was a bit tough, to be honest. How do you fare?”

“Could be better, could be worse,” he admits with a shrug of his shoulders. “I got a best friend at least, he’s probably sitting over…” he looks over the crowd, before settling on a boy sitting alone in a  corner, “there. That’s Kenny.”

You nod, not really seeing who exactly he’s looking at till he’s leading you over, and you sit across from him and Kenny.

“Hi, I’m (Y/N),” you start out with - simple enough. “I used to live here.”

Kenny doesn’t seem much for words, sitting straight up and stock still, before Larry nudges him with his elbow and whispers something indistinguishable above the raucous crowd. Stuttering he offers his hand, which you shake with a smile.

“Nice to meet you,” you say.

“I’m - Kenny.”

Lunch runs smoothly, and when it finishes Larry pulls you to the side of the rushing students.

“He’s usually not like that. But he is a weird guy, just a heads up.”

Chuckling you nod, not taking his advice. Weird never bothered you, as long as it didn’t harm anybody. In fact, it’d probably do you good - befriending someone unlike the other teenagers around you. Even if you weren’t ‘new,’ you still stick out like a plant amongst rubble, or a snowstorm in summer. Abnormally tall, with clothes too expensive for the school you attend and a very clear ‘Pridefully Gay’ patch on your jacket. Doesn’t bother Larry, that or he can’t see past the end of his nose; you went with the latter.

Kenny ended up being a joy to have around once he actually gained the nerve to start talking. The two of you bonded, rather unsurprisingly for you. A ‘gaydar’ wasn’t something you put much stock in, but there were obvious signs when someone was gay, and Kenny emitted near every sign of a boy so deep in the closet he’d find shoes from 1987. You didn’t bring it up, though, ever one for chivalry. If he wanted to come out, he could do it on his own time, and you certainly didn’t feel the need to talk to Larry about it - he’d asked about your patch, and expressed a decent amount of discomfort about homosexuality.

“I get it if you don’t want to be friends anymore, but that’s a dick move,” you told him, to which he quickly agreed.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be friends, it’s just… you aren’t gonna get, like, a crush on me or anything… right?”

“No. I only like attractive men,” you told him, sparking a snort from Kenny, whom you hadn’t realized was listening.

It wasn’t until the fifth time the three of you had decided to hang out outside of school that you suddenly fell under a charm you’d previously believed didn’t exist. Sitting in the middle of Larry’s living room (your house was too far away, and Kenny’s house was apparently too strict), you were simply doing homework, you working on English, Kenny on math, and Larry on history. Fiddling with his pencil, Kenny sits next to you, and across from the both of you sits Larry.

“Why do we have to write a poem for English? Isn’t it enough that we have to do presentations on friggin’ Jane Eyre?” You grumble, running your hands through your hair.

“Having trouble?” Kenny asks, leaning to look over your shoulder.

“Everything I write sounds stupid,” you mumble, your head falling from the grip of your hands and landing with a dull thud on the table.

“Then just write something stupid,” Larry adds, helpfully, but still engrossed in his own homework.

“Here, I, uh,” he looks at you, blushing (as usual; you’d gotten used to it) before digging into his backpack and pulling out a journal. “You can use one of mine.”

“What? No. That’s cheating,” you insist, turning back to your empty paper. Kenny and Larry share a glance, but his attention comes quickly back to you.

“At least take one of my ideas? They’re on the back page,” he says softly, pushing the notebook into your line of sight, giggling slightly as it comes to cover up the entirety of your own blank journal. With a sigh and a chuckle, you relent.

“Fine, but I owe you,” you mutter, looking over the ideas. Kenny just shrugs, and turns back to his math. You’re horrid at math, and the equations he’s completing in his head send you for a whirl. If you ever start failing that class, you know exactly who’d be the best tutor.

Notes made mostly of scribbles and vague definitions litter the back page - “Made of glass,” one corner says, but it’s missing the last s. ‘Mold and melt ‘neath such wretched hands,’ ‘searching for endless trivialities,’ ‘raised on masochism.’ It’s all rather dark, and when you’re sure Kenny is fully absorbed in his work, you flip through the pages to his poems. Not to steal them, that goes against your moral code; just to read. The poems are in an even messier fashion than the jotted notes - they’re put into blocks, numbered and unnamed. Arrows point to which part connects to which, and some have notes to the side, brackets combining them, and pencil scratches blurring out the wrong words. On a few pages he clearly attempted to write about women. There are scribbles about their beauty, but it’s so vague it could be about anything. Some of the fragments are simply fragments - unconnected lines of poetry.

‘I was love, helpless love,’ you read in your head. ‘And though I do care for you, I cannot put my shame on you, and I’ve lost all that matters.’ Helplessly you search for a clean poem, something you don’t need to piece together like a million letter puzzle. Continuing your search for an idea, an inspiration, or perhaps a glimpse into the elusive personality of your new friend, you find a poem that’s definitely about boys, and it’s more loving than any other that you’d read so far. In the first part of it, he describes the boy he pines for, but it’s not incredibly specific - it mentions hair color, eye color, some skin imperfections, but not enough to pinpoint who it’s about. Then, it gets dark.

‘How bold of me to dream, to wonder. I beg you to let me waste your time, and let me burn away in your light -‘ there’s a scribbled out part - ‘I thought by know’ (it’s misspelled) ‘I might hold you, like endless apologies of existence - feel my heat as your own. But as the sky descends in heaps of empty meanings, I found I said nothing to you at all.’ The last bit is hard to read - it either says ‘empty meanings’ and ‘I found,’ or ‘endless apologies,’ and ‘I fear.’ Either way, you’d seen enough - enough to make your heart race when he looks back up at you with a smile softer than anything you’d ever known, even in the entirety of all you’d travelled through. Your mind stutters, continuing to blank even as Kenny turns away. Had you just wandered through his soul? It felt a very private notebook. Turning back to the last page, you chose a random idea, ending up with, ‘I pray to thee, sweet love’s a parasite.’

From that moment on, your life continues on as normal, with one massive disruption - you’ve got a hideously thumping crush on one of your best friends.  That brings us to the present; he’s sitting far too close to you, emotionally ripe from getting kicked out of his house that afternoon, and he’s practically begging you for solace. Not with his words, thank God, but every movement he makes is needy and his chest weighs heavily against your own as he breathes softly. He’s barely touching you, but his heat manages to reach you, crowding your space without allowing himself the comfort of your touch. Larry’s mom had called you, rather late that evening, and explained the situation to you.

“I think he’s crying. I don’t want Larry helping him, I don’t think he’d help that much. Can I trust you?” She asked, and you agreed, taking your father’s pickup truck and driving it down from the mountains and into town. Once you made it to the basement, you saw the extent of his ruin.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admits, his eyes red and blotchy, matching his flushed cheeks. He’s still leaning over you on the basement couch.

“Just keep breathing,” you tell him, though you really don’t know what to do either. Your parents weren’t thrilled when you came out, but they certainly didn’t kick you out of the house. “Live day by day, hour by hour… minute by minute, if you have to.”

“They’re gonna take me back, right?” He says, practically pleading with you, as though you have any pull on what happens.

“I think they will,” you murmur, your eyes flickering down to his lips before meeting his eyes again. Truth wouldn’t help either of you in this situation, so you decide your soft lie would work best.

“Maybe I was wrong,” his head hangs low between his shoulders, “maybe I’m straight. I don’t wanna be gay. I - it’s wrong, isn’t it?”

“Kenny…” did you really have to come out to him? You had made no effort to hide it. Maybe he’d forgotten? “I’m gay, remember?”

“You’re not wrong, though, like I am,” his words start to come out choked, and he strains to keep talking through the tears burning his thoughts away. “Your parents still love you. Mine - I don’t want to… I don’t…” He doesn’t blink, hoping desperately that the gathering tears will recede but they fall nonetheless, one from each eye till he’s sniffing, cheeks burning as he tries to stop crying in front of you.

“Your parents still love you. Give them time,” you settle on. It’s a precarious situation, and you can’t tell what’s the right thing to say, or if saying anything at all will help.

At last he collapses, the strength of his arms giving out as he falls into you. Burying his face in the crook of your neck he hides away from the world, from his self-hating thoughts, from everything besides you. In a moment you’re all that exists to him, your arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him up so he doesn’t slide away. His warmth burns you, electrifying every nerve you have but you ignore it. There’s more important things to tend to. His breathing is uneven, so you slow your own breathing, instructing him to follow you. Half shivering he attempts to follow your lead, slowly calming from sobbing to napping away the mental exhaustion of the evening.

As he sleeps on top of you, you kiss his temple, running your hands through his hair in a fashion you hope is comforting. When your freezing fingers touch the back of his neck he shivers, so you try to keep away from his bare skin, till you fall asleep. the weight of his body lulling you into a doze.

He wakes up around 4AM, which you only know because when he wakes he jostles you, stuttering and mumbling to himself as he crawls off of you. With a deep breath you open your eyes, looking up at him, still sitting in your lap, but clearly embarrassed.

“Oh jeez. I’m, uh, really sorry for, um.. sleeping on top of you. Oh god,” he grumbles, switching between covering the lower and upper halves of his face.

“I don’t mind,” you mumble, still drowsy with sleep. Unsure of what exactly you’re doing you reach for him, grasping his wrist and pulling him close as you sit up. “How are you feeling?”

“Alright, I guess,” he says, just as soft as you, his expression falling. “I’m… glad you’re here. Less lonely.”

“’S what I’m here for. Did I tell you Valerius called me? She thought you liked me more than Larry,” you chuckled, the words escaping your mind before you gave them any thought.

“Who’s Valerius?”

“Larry’s mom.”

“You mean Victoria?”

“Mm… yeah.”

“I like both of you plenty,” he says, indignantly, a slight frown on his face that you can’t help but find adorable. It shows on your face, too, a smile too wide cracking open. He notices, and it only furthers his confusion. “What? I’m telling the truth.”

“I know. You’re just so adorable,” you admit, and when his eyes widen and he pales, you come back into yourself, and realize what you’d just said. “Oh, uh, you know what I, uh, mean. You know?” You stutter a lame excuse.

“I’m not adorable,” he whispers, staring straight into your eyes.

“No, handsome,” you correct yourself, making the situation infinitely worse.

“Handsome?” He practically wheezes out, losing his words and coherent thought.

You keep a firm hold on his wrist, making sure he doesn’t go anywhere. Instead he wraps his fingers round yours, and, staring at where you meet, he holds your hand. As enthralling as it is for you it soothes him, breath instantly slowing as the pressure of his fingers trills against the back of your hand. For the moment, you put away your anxieties, and let him relish in a comfort unknown. It wasn’t illogical to assume he’d never held hands, never kissed anyone, and certainly not a boy. You had experience with this - Europe was pretty gay, and Italy awarded you your first kiss. Yet somehow, your roles had reversed; the experienced a blushing mess, as the virgin held the others’ hand in a warm composure.

His eyes close slowly as he leans in, heading for a kiss you knew would be heart wrenchingly beautiful, but you pull away.

“You’re - no. I adore you but… I can’t complicate your life. Not now,” you murmur, pressing your hand against his chest and pushing him from you. In an instant, he thinks he’s entirely at fault, and he unwinds himself till the two of you sit on opposite ends of the couch, neither of you touching the other in any way.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, and you can tell he’s about to cry again.

“It’s not your fault,” you rush out, scooting closer to him, but he curls into himself, and you relent. “Kenny…”

He hides his face in his hands, and he’s definitely crying now. You wait a moment before you continue, waiting for the worst of it to be over, but seeing him in any kind of pain twists your gut.

“Kenny…” you slowly move his hands away from his face, and with a soft touch, you direct him to look at you. “I just don’t want to hurt you. You understand that… right?” He nods, and looks away. “There’s so much going on in your life. I don’t want to add to that.”

“But you make everything better,” he mumbles, crossing his arms over his knees raised to his chest, hiding his face again.

“I’m flattered you think that,” you reply quietly, at a loss for words. “I… how about.. I sit here, and you can do what you want, or make me do anything you want. For tonight.”

“What?” He sniffs, and looks back up at you.

“I’ll do anything you want. Anytime you ask. Starting tonight, my love is yours in any way you want it,” you tell him, eyes darting nervously around his face for any sign of agreement or disgust.

“Anything?”

“Yeah. Anytime.”

You’re trusting him with a lot, you both know that - but truly you do trust him, more than you trust yourself. He graces your cheek with his fingers, trailing across your imperfections as you close your eyes, melting into his touch. Shifting, he moves closer, till he’s once more sat in your lap, and you can feel his hot breath against your skin, electrifying you in the same way you keep ignoring. It’s about him, don’t ruin this with your anxiety, you tell yourself, but it gets harder to listen to that voice in your head when he begins to kiss at your bare neck. Your hands shoot up, grasping at his waist as he does this, dotting your skin, up to your jawline until he lands a peck at the side of your lips, so loving, as though you give him the only reason to breathe. At this time, he pulls away, and you open your eyes.

He’s examining you - just as you had done to him, waiting for any sign of renunciation of your promise. But you just sit there, gazing into his eyes like they hold the universe, every answer to be asked for swirling in the gold round his pupil. So he leans in, and at first it’s just a touch; you’re pressing your lips together, still and quiet. The time passes so slowly it might’ve not been passing at all, till he leans in, and you feel the pressure so intensely that a fire could be raging around you and you wouldn’t’ve noticed. You copy the feel of his adoration with just as much tenderness, and a tiny whimper escapes him. He pulls away blushing, leaving you with a dumbstruck smile on your face.

He does a lot more to you that night, and in every second of it you swear you’re in heaven. The memory of it trails you, constantly at the forefront of your thoughts at any given moment. When you meet in school again, he holds your hand like a comfort in a world of pain, and to him it is. You exist, and that’s enough to soothe the ache of rejection, but it doesn’t fully heal, not until his parents finally take him back.

On that day, he asks, “Are… is… are you.. still mine?” He worries, needlessly, if your trust was only to comfort him in a hard time.

“I’ll be yours as long as you want me,” you tell him, and it ends up being a lot longer than you ever would have anticipated. You’re not that stupid, you know the statistics for high school relationships, but your love persists so long there’s no other word for your relationship other than soulmates. Life deals softer blows by his side, and love adores each of your imperfections till the days die away.

Baby, my love is yours

longer than words we adore -

So trust the tremor in my touch

Cause baby, my love is yours.

[itszephoria]

Saw this pop up and your followers ask you which ones they’re interested in. But people don’t really ask much when I post or they don’t ask the ones that might make you feel uncomfortable. And well, honestly I’m so bored that I’ve decided to break all the damn rules and just answer all the questions because I can. *shock horror*

So information dump on the ‘Be nosy’ that popped up in my feed today. If you’re interested.

Be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation? 

Straight. But maybe for the right woman I could sway but wouldn’t go so far as to call myself bi or bi-curious though.

2. What are you obsessed with right now? 

Obsessively obsessing about my health and how to get well and failing it all. Oh and anime movies on Netflix.

3. Ever done any drugs?

I do drugs everyday. But I assume this is referring to illegal. No and was strictly no up until recently. I now take marijuana oil on a regular basis for pain management. Also being stoned/high is not pleasant and I don’t understand why people would enjoy that as a leisurely pastime.

4. What piercings do you want?

I want to get my ears pierced again. Holes have closed up, but currently due to my health that’s not possible. I can’t even enjoy clipons :(

5. How many people have you kissed?

The massive number of 5.

6. Describe your dream home.

It’s tiny in the sense it has all the space I need. A cosy tiny-like home. But not one on wheels, fixed to the ground. And it would be made of all natural materials, stone and wood. It would be unique and resemble something out of a fairy tale. It would sit a beautiful clearing with only nature to view in the distance and all the animals and wildlife would stay well away because I’m pretty much terrified of all it, 

7. Who are you jealous of?

Healthy, painfree people. I am jealous of past me who didn’t realise how lucky she was and miss her.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

I don’t binge any show on repeat. I’d rather look for a new show to watch or enjoy, there are so many. The last shows I binged in two days was Queen’s Gambit and Emily in Paris.

9. Do you watch porn?

Yep. But struggle with it because it’s overdramatic, unrealistic and would kill or someone to make porn with a decent storyline with people that can act. 

I prefer to read it if I’m honest or maybe just write it for myself.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Sort of? More like my other one I used I was known for all my slash writings in F1. But now I just hang out here.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

No where. The world is riddled with co-vid and well, I’m probably in one of the safest countries and I’m at risk of death should I catch it. So I’ll stay here in my safe bubble.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I wake up tomorrow and I’m not me. I wake up and I can take a deep breath without gasping for air, I wake up in no pain, I wake up and my body isn’t terribly scared, I wake up and can have a ‘normal’ life.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope and no desire too. Won’t that just hurt?

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I’d by that dream house I described, set everything up to be self sufficient. Pay and travel to try every cure available for my diseases. And then bank the rest and live off interest. Or maybe donate it. I don’t want money and I don’t really want a lot of things.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yep and it’s a struggle and am constantly fighting to prove it’s worth continuing. Oh and that’s a relationship with myself.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

No, I suppose it’s more disappointed and let down by people more than angry. I’m working everyday on letting it go but it’s not easy.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I have always wanted one, but have never found something that I really loved and haven’t been imaginative enough to create something unique. The older I get though, I’m not sure I want one. I did for the longest time though think about getting a Ferrari tattooed on my inner wrist, but pleased I never did that. I don’t love the sport or Ferrari enough anymore to want a permanent reminder of that.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I am changing name actually. Hoping to action that in the next two weeks. I would have done it earlier but they closed the borders. I have a dutch sir name that has two words. It confuses every one, systems don’t get it, it has caused issues with plane tickets. And well I’ve decided no more and am dumping a portion of it.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

This is a duplicate. Skipping.

21. Describe your best friend.

When you meet her for the first time she can be a little crazy and wild, and she kind of scared at me first because she’s so unlike me. But as you got to know her, the *real* her she doesn’t let people see, you realise how kind and soft she is, and she’s the most empathic person I have known. She gives so much of herself to everyone, thinks so little of herself and her needs because she’s one of the most selfless people I know. I love her more than most of my family and would do anything for her.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Is this followers? Uh most I don’t know what they look like? I assume they’re all hot!

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Don’t have any really. My music is varied and is based on my mood and really changes around. And with most bands, I generally lean towards one or two songs. This is one of those questions I really struggle with whenever I see it. Will say however, have been enjoying The Beatles recently and a bit of old school stuff.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan. Norway. Canada.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

Generally hanging out with people I like. Enjoying a good wine, some cheese, either playing some board game or dungeons and dragons, or watching a really good movie. Good company makes any night a good night.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Autumn. One because I think it’s neglected as a choice and every season should be loved, and two because I love the colours of autumn and the colours associated with autumn. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

I’m sure I have a heap of them, but currently it’s people that have an issue with you and instead of being an adult and talking to you about them choose to silence and blank you. I’m so tired of it, I’ve quit being peacemaker in those situations, those people are no longer worthy in my book.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Uh... I don’t think anyone I know is super funny. Friends and family all have a good sense of humor. But out of my circle of life people I’m always told I’m the funny one, which I find the biggest joke ever. 

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Can not think of anything off the top of my head. I will say if I think a movie is getting too much hype I refuse to watch it, whether all the reviews are raving or not. It’s why I didn’t watch Harry Potter for like ten years or any of the new Star Wars movies. I just refuse to be apart of all the hype and jump on bandwagons.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

I’d love to talk to everyone. I’m shy to start any conversations to be honest and I think all the people I talk to regularly were the first to message me, and I love them for it.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

100% love an old fashioned paper book. The texture of the paper. The smell of a book. That being said, I don’t think I’ve picked up a proper book to read in years. I live in fan fiction more than anything or am busy writing myself.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Any of the disney worlds, anything from the past, or verging on fantasy like. I want a simpler time not full of technology which I grow to hate more each day. The older I get the more I’m pretty sure I’ve been born in the wrong decade.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I’d build the perfect wardrobe capsule. Everything would be of high quality, not necessarily brand name and all the clothes would be sourced from ethical businesses or be handmade.

I like classic pieces, love the fashion of the 50′s and 60s and while stylish it would be comfortable to wear and everything could be worn in public (sorry comfy tracky pants).

34. What’s your coffee order?

There ain’t no coffee order. I don’t drink it. Sorry @leoni-speedyf1 I know how addicted you are to it, happy to buy you anything you like though :P

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

In real life? No one.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Not romantic. I have feelings in that I hope they’re doing well, achieving what they want and they’re all happy. I didn’t have any ‘bad’ breakups and all my relationships ended very amicably.

37. Have any tattoos?

No. See above for more on this.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. Can’t with medication and condition. But on occasion I do enjoy a good glass of red. Pinot Noir is my preference. 

39. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Not in a romantic way? The ones I talk to regularly I love immensely though.

41. How many followers do you have?

99

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Uh all the men I know I am not attracted to. Probably a good thing as they’re either family or partnered with a friend or family member.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Can’t think of anything. I try not to feel guilt for anything I enjoy to be honest, whether it’s food or an activity. Life is too short for that.

44. Do you read erotica?

Yep. Even write it.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

It was a few years back. I met this guy online and we went to the city and spent most of that time just strolling next to the river for our first meet up. Why was it the worst date ever? Well it wasn’t the location that’s for sure.

The guy had two kids, and I’m a firm believer all parents have favourites, though I have yet to meet a parent that will voice that aloud. This guy, had no qualms with telling me about this favourite kid, and that wouldn’t be a problem if didn’t spend just as much putting down his younger son. It kind of left me reeling and wondering how his son felt if his dad didn’t hide just how much he didn’t like him as a person. The kid was four and the reason his dad didn’t like him was because he didn’t like bikes.

And so the guy was a bmx rider so he spent the rest of the time on our walk just pointing out all the tricks he could do. He didn’t ask about me, only talked about himself. It was also lunch time and assumed we would get something to eat together, but nope, no food was offered. And when I suggested to get something to drink because it was so hot and we’d been out in the sun for like an hour, he just took me to a subway and told me to get a drink and waved me to the line. No offer to join me, no offer to pay (which doesn’t bother me btw, but this was capping off a terrible day), no offer to get food.

I was so happy to get out of there. Didn’t speak to him again once I had left.

46. How many people do you follow?

I currently follow 59 people. I don’t follow anyone that creates drama, and try and follow only people that post about F1 as that’s all I use tumblr for now.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Either Sebastian Vettel or Ryan Reynolds. Both are married though, so I don’t think that’s going to turn into a reality anytime soon.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

I want someone that shares the same core values as me. Doesn’t want kids, isn’t super religious (grew up in a cult like religion so I avoid it now), is on the minimalist side and isn’t someone that needs new things things all the time or is desperate to replace something the moment they deem it out of date. Someone that doesn’t live their life on social media. Someone that prefers simple things, someone who is kind and giving, and someone that truly loves me - and it’s the last part that I struggle with finding more than anything with all the guys I have dated. 

I am currently not looking for a partner, I am not in a place for a relationship and am fully focused on myself. And I am very content with that decision.

49. Who do you text the most?

Currently my bestie.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Clear blue skies and a warm day to enjoy the sun. But there are times when I simply love the rain, hearing it on the room, watching it fall endlessly and knowing that everything will be green from it.

[paulodebargelove]

 Tevin Campbell - Can We Talk   Happy Birthday,!!!!!! to Tevin Jermod Campbell (born November 12, 1976) is an American singer, songwriter and actor. Born in Waxahachie, Texas; he displayed a passion for singing at a very early age, performing gospel in his local church. Following an audition for a famous jazz musician in 1988, Campbell was signed to Warner Bros. Records. In 1991, Campbell collaborated with music impresario Quincy Jones performing lead vocals for “Tomorrow” on Jones’ album “Back on the Block” and released his platinum-selling debut album, T.E.V.I.N.. The album included his highest-charting single to date, “Tell Me What You Want Me to Do”, peaking at number 6 on the Billboard Hot 100.His double-platinum selling second album, I’m Ready, released in 1993, included two of Campbell’s most popular songs, “Can We Talk” which peaked at number 9 on the Hot 100, and the album’s title track “I’m Ready”, which also peaked at number 9 on the Hot 100. In 1996, Campbell released his third album, Back to the World, which was not as commercially or critically successful as his first two releases. His self-titled fourth album, Tevin Campbell, was released in 1999, but, performed poorly on Billboard’s album charts.Apart from music, Campbell commenced an acting career, appearing in Prince’s sequel to Purple Rain called Graffiti Bridge. He also made guest appearances on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Moesha television programs, voiced the character named Powerline in Disney’s animated A Goofy Movie film and was cast as Seaweed in the Broadway musical Hairspray in 2005.Throughout his career, Campbell has earned 5 Grammy Award nominations, selling an estimated 3 million album copies worldwide (primarily from his first two albums).Early lifeBorn in Waxahachie, Texas, Tevin Campbell had a passion for singing at a young age. He began by singing gospel, first as a choir member, and then as a soloist at Jacob’s Chapel in a small town just south of Dallas, Texas.Career1988–1990: Early careerIn 1988, a friend of Campbell’s mother arranged for him to audition for jazz flutist Bobbi Humphrey by singing over the phone to her in New York. Humphrey took an interest in Campbell and submitted an audio and videotape to Warner Bros. This led to a meeting with Benny Medina, the Warner’s senior vice president and general sales manager of black music.Campbell was introduced to the R&B world by Quincy Jones in August 1989. Campbell’s debut single was “Tomorrow (A Better You, Better Me)” which reached number 1 on the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip Hop Singles chart in June 1990. This was a vocal version of a 1976 instrumental by The Brothers Johnson. It was the lead single from Jones’ critically acclaimed ensemble LP Back on the Block which won the Grammy Award for Album of the Year in 1991. After working with Jones and writers and producers including Siedah Garrett, Campbell worked with producers Narada Michael Walden, Al B. Sure, Babyface, and others to record additional music.Campbell’s first solo hit was “Round and Round”, which charted at number 3 on the R&B chart in November 1990 and 13 on the Billboard Hot 100 in April 1991 was produced by Prince and was featured in Prince’s film Graffiti Bridge. After his appearance in the 1990 film Graffiti Bridge, Campbell made a guest appearance the following year on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, playing fictional teen idol, “Little T”, a celebrity crush and date of Ashley’s in the first season episode, “Just Infatuation”. In a later episode, he was referenced when Will threatened to destroy Ashley’s Little T posters after she plays with Will’s autographed baseball. The song, “Round and Round” earned Campbell a Grammy Award nomination at the 33rd Grammy Awards for Best Male R&B Vocal Performance but lost to Luther Vandross for “Here and Now”.1991–1992: T.E.V.I.N. and early successCampbell followed the success of his first two singles by releasing his debut album, T.E.V.I.N., in November 1991 which featured the R&B hit singles and Campbell’s number 1 R&B hit: “Tell Me What You Want Me to Do” followed by “Alone with You”, and “Goodbye”. T.E.V.I.N. reached number 38 on Billboard 200 chart and 5 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart. The album eventually was certified platinum by the RIAA for selling 1 million copies in the United States. T.E.V.I.N. earned Campbell a Grammy Award nomination for Best Male R&B Vocal Performance at the 35th Grammy Awards but lost to Al Jarreau for his album Heaven and Earth. The album was produced by Jones, Al B. Sure! and Narada Michael Walden among others.Between interviews and television appearances following the release of T.E.V.I.N., he contributed to three special projects: Handel’s Messiah: A Soulful Celebration, a Grammy Award-winning album produced by Mervyn Warren of Take 6; A Very Special Christmas 2album, featuring Campbell’s rendition of “Oh Holy Night”; and Barcelona Gold, the 1992 Olympics album which includes his hit “One Song”.1993–1995: I’m Ready and prominent successThe singer’s second album, the 1993 release of the album I’m Ready, was also produced by Jones and Medina. “I wanted to make a more mature-sounding album to reflect my current state of mind,” Campbell explained to J. R. Reynolds in Billboard magazine. “I’m Ready says a lot about who I am as a person because of the things I’ve been through during the last four years or so. I hope people will see that I’m not the same young kid that I was on my first album.” The album was produced by Babyface among others.I’m Ready released October 1993, yielded the US top ten pop and number 1 R&B hit “Can We Talk” in December 1993; “I’m Ready”, a US top ten and top five R&B hit; and “Always in My Heart” which charted at the US Hot 100 top twenty and number 3 on the R&B chart. He also scored a Top 30 R&B hit with a fourth single, “Don’t Say Goodbye Girl”. The album was released on October 26, 1993 and went on to reach number 18 on the Billboard 200 and number 3 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart. The album was certified double platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America for selling 2 million copies in the United States. To date I’m Ready is Campbell’s biggest selling album and many considered this album to be the high mark of his career despite the fact he was only 16 when he recorded the album. The album was nominated for 3 Grammy Awards: Best Male R&B Vocal Performance for “Can We Talk” at the 36th Grammy Awards (which he lost to Ray Charles for “A Song for You”) and Best Male R&B Vocal Performance for “I’m Ready” (which he lost to Babyface for “When Can I See You”) along with Best R&B Album for I’m Ready (which he lost to Boyz II Men for their album II) both at the 37th Grammy Awards .In November 1994, Campbell was featured on the soundtrack to the film, A Low Down Dirty Shame singing “Gotta Get Yo’ Groove On” produced by Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis. In September 1994, Campbell also scored an R&B hit with the single “U Will Know” as part of the R&B super-group Black Men United, a group that also included singer Usher. During the time span of 1993 to 1995, Campbell performed as an opening act on select dates during the summer of Janet Jackson’s Janet World Tour. In 1995, Campbell voiced the character Powerline in Disney’s animated A Goofy Movie, performing the songs “I 2 I” (also styled as “Eye to Eye”) and “Stand Out” for the film’s soundtrack. Campbell appeared alongside female recording artist Brandy on the September 28, 1995 episode of NY Undercover called “Digital Underground.Com” singing “The Closer I Get to You”.1996–1998: Back to the World and decline in popularityThe year 1996 saw the release of his third album, Back to the World. The album saw production by Sean Combs. It reached number 46 on the Billboard 200 chart and 11 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart. In terms of sales, Back to the World was a disappointment compared to his first two albums T.E.V.I.N. and I’m Ready because it only reached Gold status. The album’s first single,“Back To The World”, reached number 47 on the Billboard 200 chart and 14 on the R&B charts becoming a moderate hit. However, the other two singles didn’t even reach the Hot 100, “I Got It Bad” and “Could You Learn to Love” only managed to reach the R&B charts with very low peak positions. Also in 1996, Campbell sung a cover of the song, “The Impossible Dream”, on the compilation album Rhythm of the Games: 1996 Olympic Games Album. Campbell also contributed to the RCA Victor Records tribute album called The Songs of West Side Story in dedication to the original West Side Story musical and 1961 film adaptation. Campbell sung the song “One Hand, One Heart” on the album which also featured contributions from Selena, Aretha Franklin, Phil Collins, Patti LaBelle, Natalie Cole, Sheila E. and All-4-One.1999–2002: Tevin Campbell, arrest and hiatusOn February 23, 1999, Campbell released his self-titled album, Tevin Campbell, found Campbell venturing into the neo-soul venue. The project was rushed, and as a result charted below the R&B Top 30, with only a single charting, a Top 30 song called “Another Way”. The album saw collaborations with Wyclef Jean, Faith Evans, David Foster, and SWV lead singer Coko. In 1999, Campbell made another guest appearance on the hit show Moesha starring Brandy in the episode, “Rite Stuff”.In September 1999, Campbell was arrested after soliciting a lewd act from an undercover policeman during a sting operation in Van Nuys, California. The sting operation was reportedly conducted in an area where there had been numerous complaints from the public about cruising and solicitation. According to police reports, Campbell was also in possession of a small amount of marijuana at the time of his arrest.During 2000, Campbell stayed out of the public eye. In 2001, Campbell released the compilation album, The Best of Tevin Campbell. In 2002, it was reported that he had stopped making music.2003–2008: Broadway and shelved albumThrough 2003 to 2004, Campbell had still not made a public appearance and kept a low profile. However, in 2005, Campbell made an appearance on Broadway for the musical Hairspray as the character, Seaweed J. Stubbs. Campbell later reprised his role of Seaweed in the Broadway play in the Melbourne and Sydney productions in Australia. He worked with the production up until 2011. During 2006 to 2007, Campbell made few public appearances, due to his commitment to Broadway. In May 2008, Campbell released an internet album entitled, 2008, Never Before Heard through Rambo House Media and the album was released to iTunes and Amazon as a means of test marketing some material originally recorded in 2002. After six months of availability, Campbell decided to no longer allow the unpublished material to be downloaded online, and the music can no longer be heard or purchased on these sites.2009–2013: Sporadic appearancesIn early 2009, record producer Narada Michael Walden stated that Campbell was working on a new album with new material to be released in early 2009. However, nothing was ever released. Also in 2009, Campbell made an appearance at the BET Awards 2009 as he paid tribute to The O'Jays with Trey Songz, Tyrese, and Johnny Gill. In May 2010, Campbell performed on The Mo'Nique Show. He said that many people wanted him to work again on music and he was thinking about a comeback. In November 2010, he was featured on the remake of a song by Quincy Jones called “Secret Garden”. The remake featured Usher, Robin Thicke, Tyrese Gibson, LL Cool J and Barry White. TV One’s show Life After featured Campbell’s life and career, as well as updates on his comeback. From 2011 to 2012, Campbell made small appearances here and there. In 2013, Campbell performed a concert called Tevin Campbell in Cape Town and was a part of Divos Tour 2013 both in South Africa as well as traveling to London to perform at The O2 Arena and also performed at the One Man, One Nation, One Celebration memorial service in honor and tribute to Nelson Mandela held at FNB Stadium.2014–present: Music comeback and fifth albumOn June 14, 2014, Campbell performed a concert at B.B. King’s Blues Club & Grill in New York called An Evening with Tevin Campbelland received positive reviews. It was officially announced that he was working on a new album with collaborations from producer Teddy Riley, singer Faith Evans and rapper T-Pain. On July 5, Campbell performed at the 2014 Essence Music Festival in New Orleans. The performance garnered great reviews. Campbell appeared on a track called “Let it Flow” with Naturi Naughton from the Full Force album With Love from Our Friends which was released on August 26, 2014.In November, it was announced that Campbell had signed with Spectra Music Group. On August 14, 2015, Campbell appeared at the Anaheim Convention Center in Anaheim, California for a rare performance of his song “I 2 I” from the A Goofy Movie soundtrack at the end of A Goofy Movie cast reunion held during the fourth annual D23 Expo.On September 29, Campbell was featured on a remake of the song, “Maybe Tomorrow”, originally recorded by The Jackson 5. The song was featured on jazz musician Aaron Bing’s ninth studio album, Awakening. On November 29, 2015, Campbell performed his song “Can We Talk” while Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds played piano as a part of a tribute dedicated to Edmonds who was honored with the Legend Award at the 2015 Soul Train Music Awards. The tribute included Brandy, Fantasia Barrino, Boyz II Men, Bobby Brown and Babyface himself, which included some of the hit songs that he wrote.Campbell released a new single from his 5th album entitled, “Safer on the Ground” via iTunes and Google Play. The song served as a “buzz” single and was available for free streaming a day earlier on SoundCloud. When asked about the new album in an interview with Jet magazine website, Campbell told the interviewer that the song reminded him of a modern-day “Tell Me What You Want Me to Do”. In the interview, Campbell also stated that the song is a love song about a broken heart, but to him it represents being humble and safe, speaking of the disappointment with music business during the early stages of his career. Campbell stated that he doesn’t agree with the new sound of current R&B music and wants his music to be “authentic”.VoiceCampbell is a tenor who possesses a three-octave vocal range. His vocal range spanned from E2 to a D6 in his song “Tell Me What You Want Me to Do”

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

TAG GAME!

I was tagged by @lotsoffandomimagines, @cactiem, @myriadimagines and @connerkennt!!! THANK U SO MUCH GUYS 💖💖💖💖💖💖

rules: answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

Ace’s questions:

What’s your favourite thing about yourself? Why? That my friends like me :D

Do you prefer tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? Tea all day every day bahbahy

Where do you live? If you could live anywhere else where would it be? I’m actually happy where I am in Oz. I’m just waiting to get a job + get money to re-do the little place attached to the house so I can live there. 

What are your top 5 celebrity crushes? I honestly... don’t think I have any celebrity crushes lmao

If you won a million dollars what would you do with it? Save it. Get more money. Make sure me, my friends and family are comfortable. Give the rest of it away to everybody who needs a bit of help. Randomly dump a thousand dollars into somebody’s Gofundme. Hire assassins to murder people I don’t like. The normal type of thing :D

What’s your favourite type of snack food? D... do carrots count?? If not chili+lime potato chips!! :D

If you could live in any fictional universe which one would it be? Probably Middle Earth or Marvel.

Do you have three book recommendations? P L E A S E READ THE MURDERBOT DIARIES Y”ALL I AM ACTUALLY BEGGING I NEED SOMEBODY I CAN TALK TO ABOUT IT. YOU WON’T REGRET IT. Murderbot is my all-time favourite character 11/10 PLEASE. READ IT. PLEASE. Also Six of Crows (and Crooked Kingdom, its sequel), and Bird by Crystal Chan. also MURDERBOT.

Put your playlist on shuffle and tell us the first five songs that play I Miss You by Adele, Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys, Electric Feel by MGMT

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be and why? My brain. No more anxiety and depression and weird attention lapses. Get rid of that shit.

Em’s questions:

Do you have any pets? If so what do you have? If not would you like any? I do!! Two chickens, two ducks, and three dogs!! They are all my Babies and I Love Them More Than Life Itself even tho the ducks hate my guts lmao

What’s your go to song to listen to that makes you happy? Mr Blue Sky, but honestly like 99% of my music is ridiculously happy because I mostly cannot handle sad music

Have you travelled anywhere? If not where’d you like to go? I’ve been to America when I was like, 10, and my and my family have traveled through a bit of Australia. I’d really like to see all my friends around the globe :’)

If you could speak any languages, what three would you choose (on top of the ones you can speak now)? Spanish, Russian, and Ancient Greek lmao

If you could have a superpower what would you choose and why? Shape shifting. I would say so I can get my ideal body and yeah that’s part of it but the other part is I really wanna be able to turn into a pigeon and surprise @alex--blue :D

If you could only save three things what would you save (in this scenario your family/friends/pets are already out)? A teeny tiny box I got from my dad where I keep small special things, a few of my stuffed animals bc they’re the only things I have left from my childhood, and a box of letters because I know they’re important to my parents

What’s your favourite decade and why? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What’s your favourite season and why? Autumn. Used to be winter, but it hurts my lungs too much. Autumn’s just. cozy, y’know??

Do you prefer going to the cinema or watching films at home? At home normally, BUT I see going to the cinema as more of a social thing so if I can go with somebody I like than cinema!!

What’s your favourite meal? Pizza :D

Sam’s questions:

What’s something you’re looking forward to? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, getting my own place will be nice??

If you could have any animal in the world as a talking companion (like in His Dark Materials), what animal would you choose? Hen :D (PLEASE don’t remind me of how much I love HDM!!!!!)

What was the last movie you cried to? John Wick. You know exactly why.

What’s a song you’ve had on repeat lately? Blinding Lights by the Weeknds, I vibe SO HARD to this song it’s unreal XD <3

If you could bring one fictional character that’s been killed off back to life, who would it be? Manchee from The Knife of Never Letting Go. If you’ve read the book, you know what I mean. I’m still not recovered from that and I never will be. also I know there’s a ton but I can’t think of on the spot aAA

Can you play any instruments? If not, what instruments have you always wanted to play? ALL OF THEM

If you could give yourself another name, what name would you choose? HA

What’s a skill you wish you could instantly master Speaking a language fluently or learning a musical instrument!! I am Impatient!!!! :D

What would you rather explore, the deep sea or outer space? NEITHER THANK YOU V MUCH THEY’RE BOTH MY WORST NIGHTMARES

Despite 2020 being a shitshow so far, what’s one good thing that’s happened to you this year? I got to finish the end of the Murderbot Diaries and I am now content XD

Enna’s questions:

What is your biggest irrational fear and why? Falling backward from a high place. Not heights, but specifically falling backward. I climb trees a lot but I can never sit down on a branch because I feel too unsteady and it can paralyze me so I’m stuck in the tree till I can calm tf down lmao

Do you like to dance? Yes, don’t mean I’m good at it tho XD

Who is one person who can always make you laugh? (Friend, family, comedian, etc.) A few of my favourite YouTubers (like RTgame and Doug Doug ALWAYS GET ME X’D)

Who is your favorite disney sidekick and why? Mushu because... Mushu XD

What’s one thing that you do/like that people wouldn’t expect? UhhhHHh I have no idea what conception people have of me so I don’t really know

Favorite move genre? Comedy, I think

What was your favorite animal as a kid? Spider!! Same as now p much :D

Do you like to bake/cook? If so, what’s your favorite recipe? I do!! And listen. Listen. listen listen listen. I make a mean apple crumble.

Where do you go when you need to de-stress/relax? My room or the backyard to play with the babies :’)

Do you look up to anyone? If so, who and why? Nah, I’ve found that to be a recipe for disaster.

My questions:

What is the song you Vibe With the most?

If you could be any mythical/supernatural creature, what would you be?

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? If not, would you like to get some and what would you like to get?

What time do you usually go to sleep?

If you could summon any one item in the world to you what would it be?

What food do you you hate with your entire soul?

Are you more of a sentimental/nostalgic person or do you prefer to look forward instead?

Describe yourself in 3 words

Are you one of the superhuman people who can keep a consistent diary?

I tag @biscottibitch, @lielith, @tiannawashere, @philthepegacorn, @supervalcsi, @fairylightsandthings and anybody else who would like to do this!! :D

[richincolor]

Author Interview with Mayra Cuevas

Today we will get to know CNN producer and debut author Mayra Cuevas. Her book SALTY, BITTER, SWEET releases today.

Seventeen-year-old aspiring chef Isabella Fields’ family life has fallen apart after the death of her Cuban abuela and the divorce of her parents. She moves in with her dad and his new wife in France, where Isabella feels like an outsider in her father’s new life, studiously avoiding the awkward, “Why did you cheat on Mom?” conversation.

The upside of Isabella’s world being turned upside down? Her father’s house is located only 30 minutes away from the restaurant of world-famous Chef Pascal Grattard, who runs a prestigious and competitive international kitchen apprenticeship. The prize job at Chef Grattard’s renowned restaurant also represents a transformative opportunity for Isabella, who is desperate to get her life back in order.

But how can Isabella expect to hold it together when she’s at the bottom of her class at the apprenticeship, her new stepmom is pregnant, she misses her abuela dearly, and a mysterious new guy and his albino dog fall into her life?

Crystal: Mayra, thanks so much for taking the time to answer a few questions about your writing life and your debut novel SALTY, BITTER, SWEET. What does writing mean to you and when did you begin to consider yourself a writer?

Mayra: It was in the eighth grade. I was really into Julia de Burgos’ poetry back then and only beginning to understand the healing power of the written word. Julia’s work inspired me to write my own poems, as a way to cope with some difficulties at home. After many tries, I wrote a poem that I thought was pretty good — about how your feelings can be like a storm. My English teacher at the time, Mr. Antonio Colorado, was this super encouraging person. He knew I loved books and always lent me new titles to read and pushed me to work harder on my poetry. I gave him a copy of the poem I had written and he asked me if he could read it in class. I agreed, under the condition that he did not reveal my name. I mean, it was eighth grade, I didn’t want this to be the end of my social life. But when he read it, everyone went quiet and listened. And something magical happened, I felt connected to everyone in the room. In that moment, my words mattered and I felt seen for probably the first time. And what was even more amazing, after he read the poem, there was a discussion and people were talking about my words and how it affected them. I’ll never forget it.

Crystal: How has your career as a journalist prepared you for writing young adult novels? Was it a fairly smooth transition?

Mayra: No! (laughs hysterically) I *thought* it would be a smooth transition! But boy was I wrong. When I started writing fiction back in 2012 I remember thinking, ‘Oh I’ve been a professional journalist for over ten years, how hard can it be to write a novel?’ Well, as it turns out, writing a novel is very hard. And getting published is even harder. But there are two skills that transferred from journalism into publishing: 1) resilience and 2) working with editors.

Years of getting my story pitches rejected prepared me for the soul-crushing rejection I faced in the publishing world. My first manuscript was rejected by 200 agents! And somehow I managed to keep going.    

My news background also prepared me to work with editors. I had lots of practice getting my news stories edited, nitpicked and pulled apart — that’s just the nature of the news business. And it’s no different in publishing.

Crystal: I’m guessing you’ve spent quite a bit of time in kitchens. What are some of your most interesting cooking experiences or other memorable moments around food?

Mayra: I’m a total foodie so when it came time to research Salty, Bitter, Sweet I went all out!

I reached out to the amazing Carla Tomasko, the pastry chef at Bacchanalia, one of Atlanta’s top restaurants. She agreed to serve as my guide through the workings of a real high-end kitchen. She also shared her story of working as a woman in a male-dominated environment and as an immigrant from Ecuador. She also recounted how her Latin roots helped shape her craft.

The time I spent in Bacchanalia’s kitchen was amazing! I got to see how the executive chefs prepared the day’s menu, how they selected ingredients and crafted the most exquisite dishes. All the while, I was taking copious notes of every detail I could use to make Isa’s journey as authentic as possible. I think it paid off because it seems to be everyone’s favorite part of the book!

Crystal: What do you love most about your characters Isa and Diego?

Mayra: They are two young people who are going through their own private pain — as we all do. At first, Isa sees him as a threat to the delicate balance of her new life. And in a way she is right to feel threatened, because Diego has arrived to upend everything she thought she wanted. In turn, Isa will help Diego make peace with his own life decisions.  

Yes, there are some romantic moments, but it’s mostly about meeting someone who sees you for the first time and loves you in spite of all the broken bits.

Crystal: Though some things in Isa’s life seem to have some relationship to parts of your own life, were there things you needed to research as you wrote your way through this story?

Mayra: There were two main veins of research: the world of haute cuisine and the multiple locations where the book is set — six cities in total.

For the kitchen research, I interviewed and spent time with two amazing female chefs: Carla Tomasko, the pastry chef at Bacchanalia, one of Atlanta’s top restaurants, and Daniella Fitzgerald, who spends her days cooking for rich folks in yachts. She had some hilarious stories!

I also read memoirs like 32 Yolks: From My Mother’s Table to Working the Line by Veronica Chambers and Eric Ripert, and watched documentaries like Pressure Cooker and Three Stars.  

For the travel research I watched a million YouTube videos and read as many travel blogs. I also engaged an all-things-France expert to make sure every detail of Isa’s journey through Lyon was authentic.

Crystal: Are any of your favorite foods mentioned in the story? Can you tell us about one or two?

Mayra: Like Isa and her abuela Lala I enjoy bridging my two worlds by making Spanish flan and All-American apple pie — my husband’s favorite.

The flan recipe belongs to my Venezuelan friend Paula. I love that recipe because it’s been handed down through generations and it survived a political revolution.

Crystal: Have there been any big surprises along the road to publication?

Mayra: The most amazing surprise was being invited to join Las Musas, a Latina authors collective. These women are incredibly talented, supportive and generous. The founders did a wonderful job of creating a space where we can uplift each other and our work, share important news, and have each other’s back. I love these women and I’m humbled and proud to be part of this community.  

Crystal: Are there any current YA books that you wish had existed when you were younger?

Mayra: All of the books from Las Musas!

Crystal: *Hurries off to visit the webpage for Las Musas* That looks like a wonderful group! Can you tell us anything about your current projects or your writing plans for the future?

Mayra: My short story Resilient will be published as part of the anthology FORESHADOW: The Magic of Reading & Writing YA (Algonquin Young Readers). I’m also co-writing a novel with Atlanta author Marie Marquardt, which can be best described as a feminist unicorn.

Crystal: Thanks again for your willingness to share your time and even your recipe with us! We wish you all the best with your debut.

Born and raised in Puerto Rico, Mayra Cuevas is a professional journalist and fiction writer who prefers love stories with a happy ending. Her debut novel, SALTY, BITTER, SWEET, launched March 3 with HarperCollins/Blink. Her debut fiction short story was selected by best-selling author Becky Albertalli to appear in the Foreshadow serial anthology Issue 04 in April 2019. She is currently a special projects producer and writer for CNN. She keeps her sanity by practicing Buddhist meditation and serving on the Board of Directors of Kadampa Meditation Center Georgia. She lives with her husband, also a CNN journalist, and their cat, in the charming town of Norcross, Georgia. She is also the step-mom to two amazing young men who provide plenty of inspiration for her stories. You can visit her online at mayracuevas.com.

[bellarkefanfiction]

#NoClickbait

written by: Josefine / @selflessbellamy

prompt: This is typical but maybe distracting kiss while playing a video game? Person A is competitive, 100% focused on winning and person B starts to plant kisses, all because of the competition, no one is in love here, it's a cold, calculating strategy. for anonymous 

word count: 2204

Sharing an apartment with a Youtuber has its pros and cons. For instance, her roommate has — on numerous occasions — demanded to film alone in the living room for hours, because “it has much better lighting.” At night, she often hears him groan loud in frustration while editing, which would be funny if she didn’t have to wake up early for class most mornings.

However, the pros outweigh the cons, at least as it is right now. They’ve been living together for almost a year now, and since she told him that she didn’t mind being a part of his videos every once in a while, he has involved her in his creative process. Unlike a lot of YouTube channels, Bellamy Blake’s offers a wide range of different content, such as:

cook with me: grilled chicken breast (with a twist)

vlog: a day at the bookstore + haul

history has left us: queer!Achilles (Pride Month special)

If his subscriber count of 3.2 million is anything to go by, this kind of content is great entertainment for everyone watching. Hell, Clarke even watches his videos despite the fact that she lives with him and could easily just sneak into the living room to watch him film. Still, she attempts to stay away, because Bellamy doesn’t tend to stare over her shoulder as she draws one of her pictures.

Sometimes, though, her thriving curiosity gets the better of her. When he first noticed her piqued interest, his dark eyes crinkled at the corners and he told her, “Princess, if you wanna know what I’m doing then you have to be a part of it.”

At first, Clarke had wondered whether having her show up in his videos was just gonna be a cheap clickbait trick, so that he could include her in the thumbnail and write a title called ‘vlog: Santa Monica with my girlfriend’, but he didn’t.

Instead, he turned the camera on her face as they were walking down the peer and said, “Oh, by the way guys. This is my roommate Clarke. She’s tagging along.”

He had probably expected her to not say anything, maybe give a shy little wave in response, because that’s what usually happens when people are camera shy. Clarke’s actual reaction was so far from that. In teasing, she stuck her tongue out at him and retorted, “Oh please, you’re the one who’s tagging along. I need someone to help me decide which Bath Bomb to get.”

That is the start of Clarke’s appearance in Bellamy’s videos, and since then she has only showed up more, for longer periods of time. A couple weeks ago she assisted him while he did the ‘Blindfolded Book Challenge’ by picking various classics and non-fiction works from his bookshelf.

After that video was posted, he told her not to look at the comments, which only made her suspicious, because he’d never advised her to stay away from the comment section of his videos before, and for a moment she thought that his viewers were perhaps making fun of her or something. Despite that the possibilities made her somewhat nervous, she couldn’t hold herself back.

The most popular comment jumped out at her:

[Top Comments - click to show]

Dani Larsson: y’all can’t tell us you’re not dating after this.

781+

Gulping, Clarke clicked on the replies and found the first couple ones to be:

Lydia Marcello: yea, just look at 13:52. That shoulder-lean is the least platonic thing I have seen in the modern era.

123+

Furrowing her brow, Clarke went to the timestamp to see what the girl was referring to — and there right before the end of the video as Bellamy said, “I guess that’s it for the Blindfolded Book Challenge. Thanks for watching!” — he pulled Clarke against his side, making her lean her head against his shoulder for a second, smiling.

After forcing her eyes off the frozen frame, Clarke looked at the comment below Lydia Marcello’s only to find:

 TJ Byrne: Well, if he’s not dating her, I would love to tap that.

2+

While the comment didn’t bother her much, it sure as hell seemed to have bothered Bellamy (and a lot of his loyal viewers), because he had actually responded:

Bellamy Blake: @TJ Byrne: Too bad. Sexist white Internet creeps aren’t her type.

201+

Clarke had to bite back the urge to laugh. Also, it was difficult to ignore the clear voice at the back of her head who kept telling her that men with bronze, freckled skin and lots of sharp edges is her type. Still, she has only ever seen one person who looks like that.

A person, whose laughter could light up the entire world, who places pencils behind his ear and hums while he cooks.

***

One late afternoon she returns, violet and vermillion paint caked beneath her fingernails, to the sight of Bellamy sitting cross-legged on the couch, his trusted laptop in front of him and square glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. As always, he looks up when she enters the living room.

“I’m gonna cook dinner. Chicken Alfredo pasta, does that sound good?”

He beams, most likely with as much surprise as amusement, because she’s rarely the one who prepares meals. Still, she wants to prove to him that she’s learned quite a lot from watching his culinary-themed videos.

“Very,” is his simple comment, though the lone word manages to convey his enthusiasm. When she turns to walk into the kitchen, he suddenly adds, “Hey, Clarke, would you mind being in a video later?”

The curiosity in her mind sparks like colorful fireworks. “What kind of video?” Given the complexity of Bellamy’s content, it’s impossible for her to have the faintest idea… Maybe it’s another challenge video? A casual vlog? One of his informative history sessions?

Then he explains that his viewers would love his nostalgia series to feature a gaming video. “I have Mario Kart for my old PlayStation, so… I thought it’d be more fun if we played it together. You know I love how competitive you are.”

That last bit seems to be coated in fondness, the words soft — a stark contrast to his usual teasing tone, and it has color rising to her cheeks, undoubtedly. In order to hide the blush, Clarke turns away, but not without saying, “Of course. That sounds fun,” over her shoulder.

To her joy, Bellamy eats two large portions of the Chicken Alfredo pasta and praises her for using vegetables and spices that complement the creamy sauce. Hearing him say this makes her heart feel warm.

Together, they do the dishes while listening to ‘Cigarette Daydreams’ from one of Bellamy’s vinyl records. Most of his collection he inherited from his dad, but he adds a newer record once in a while. Afterwards the struggle with setting up the lights in preparation for filming — since the sky has now darkened, they need to improve the lighting in the living room.

Before they can turn on the camera, they have to plan a quick intro. Of course, Bellamy will do the most of the talking, since it’s his channel, but he tells her that he doesn’t want her to hold anything back, especially not during the gameplay itself.

It feels like an eternity has passed. At last, Bellamy clicks record, takes a seat next to Clarke and says, “Welcome back guys! I looked at your requests and quickly had to realize that you all want to see me play a video game,” he runs his fingers through the back of his hair, “As you will probably find out, I suck at gaming. I’ve killed a Sim once, and it was not on purpose.”

Clarke mouths, “He has,” hoping that the teasing it will amuse some of his viewers.   

“Anyway, I dragged the Princess along for this one. She’s gonna crush me as Peach.”

Chuckling, she replies, “Oh, I sure am. No more of that ‘damsel in distress’ Peach. Those days are over, and you’re gonna go down.”

Even though they didn’t plan it for the intro, they look at each other, faces inches from one another to signify the “stand-off” that’s about to happen. However, within a couple seconds, they both crack up.

As it turns out, Bellamy is not actually bad at Mario Kart, which seems to surprise him way more than it does her. Within ten of playing minutes, he’s in 3rd place, but he makes the mistake of gloating, “Now, who’s gonna go down, Princess?”

Maybe they should stop using that expression…

Oh, well. “You still are,” Clarke laughs just as she uses the Starman that she’s had up her sleeve for a couple minutes, and while it does help her overtake a lot of players, she’s only gets to the fourth position, right behind him.

Bellamy does what he can to maintain his lead. Out of the corner of her eye, Clarke sees him lick his lips in concentration, and the sight damn near distracts her. Quickly, she collects herself, and while it’s difficult to keep up with him when she has to stay on the course, she’s tailing him.

When he bumps his shoulder against hers in teasing, moving his controller just to annoy her, an unfamiliar sensation sparks in her ribcage, causing her to lean closer and press her lips to his neck, right below his sharp jawline. At first she feels him freeze. Scared that she has overstepped an invisible boundary, she draws back, but he…

He is smiling. “You think you can distract me?”

“I can’t?” Turning her attention back to the television, Clarke smirks as her heart flips itself over and over.

Now she thinks she notices the faint pink tint in his freckled cheeks, but it might be her eyes playing a trick on her. With much confidence, Bellamy says, “You gotta keep trying…”

Right now, they’re doing the final lap around the course, still tailing each other, brushing each other like they are in real life. It seems as though he just gave her another challenge — one, which she is even more determined to win. Therefore, she giggles slightly, kisses his throat again, a little lower this time, then his shoulder and the back of his ear.

He releases a strange sound that must be somewhere between a groan and a chuckle. Unsuccessful, he tries to brush her off, but she can feel the heat that’s rising to his skin by the second.

Just when she leans in for the sixth kiss, he groans, tossing his controller to the side. She doesn’t recognize the emotion flashing in his earthy eyes, but she is not afraid of it. Bellamy murmurs intelligibly before giving her a gentle push to the floor — out of the camera frame — on her back, she watches his face move closer to hers than it ever has until she can almost sense the amazing warmth that pours from his features. Taking a slow breath, he nuzzles her, which has her entire chest feeling like jelly.

When their lips meet, it’s as if the living room is filled with light, though it must be nearing midnight. The happiness bubbles in her stomach, runs through her veins to mix with her bloodstream. Burying her fingers in the dark, soft curls of his hair, Clarke deepens the kiss a little, causing him to smile against her lips.

“I’m gonna have to edit this out.”

She laughs at that statement. “The video is useless now, Bellamy. We’ve both fallen off the course before the finish line.”

“Well, it was worth it.”

As opposed to sleeping that night, they sit on the bed in his room eating dry Coco Puffs while talking about where to go from there.

What they end up doing is reshooting the Mario Kart video the next day (Bellamy wins, much to her dismay), then spend the next eight months trying to hide their relationship from his online following, which is easy when she can simply not be present in his videos.

His viewers, however, are far from stupid. The first video that she appears in after the Mario Kart one is a casual writing vlog, where she brings him a cup of black coffee after his all-nighter. And it’s one tiny detail that Bellamy missed in editing that effectively exposes them:

[Top Comments - click to show]

Christine Hollinger: oh my god, he murmurs ‘thanks, babe’ at 8:46 asdjffikoxxkak… Y’ALL

863+

theo lewis: *platonically calls my roommate ‘babe’*

219+

After that, they have to come to terms with the fact that their secret is out, and because Bellamy doesn’t want to trick his followers, he decides to make the announcement (albeit casually) in his next video, which is a brief daily vlog. Bellamy turns the camera towards the balcony, on which she is standing, looking at the sinking sun.

“Isn’t she beautiful? I’m so lucky.”

No forced, half-assed video of them explaining how they got together, no cheesy girlfriend tag — just a simple yet revealing comment. Their relationship is not clickbait; it’s not something that he’s going to use to gain more followers. It’s too important for that.

[culebratia]

Honest opinions on horror villains

Okay so I love horror villains and horror in general. Most of them are really interesting and have a sort of grotesque charm to them that I can’t really describe, it draws you to them and pulls you into wanting more. But there are some horror villains that are either overrated and underrated, and today I’m here to discuss some of them! (I’d like to reiterate that I don’t hate any of these characters, I actually like them all! But I’m just talking in a general perspective and my view on their popularity and the actual movie they come from.)

LESLIE VERNON

* overrated.

* okay, I know, people are going to get upset at me over this. This was an amazing movie, they said. It’s so new and different from the others, they said. And I completely understand that! It’s unique and inventive and I love the whole premise of the movie, but goddamn did it bore me..

* I like Leslie Vernon as a character, but I don’t love him like I do with other characters. He’s cool! I adore his slasher design, but his personality bores me a little bit at times. There are some points where my emotions and feelings on the guy are a little bit like a rollercoaster — up and down, up and down, up and down. It’s crazy.

* once again, I like the concept of his movie, but the way it was presented in a filmmaking point of view is underwhelming.

ART THE CLOWN

* underrated.

* there are three movies I know of with Art in them: The 9th Circle, All Hallow’s Eve and Terrifer. And all of them are equally shit, which is to be expected since it was written and directed by a young guy who specialises in special effects. But damn was Art interesting to watch.

* there are some points in the movies where I think “why couldn’t he have starred in a better made film?” because if that were so, he’d get so much more publicity! Art is an absolutely terrifying demon clown creature, way more scary than Pennywise, and people from around the world should know his name! He’s the only character in all the movies who actually has good actors.

* shitty movie, fantastic character. I hope to see more of him.

MICHAEL MYERS

* overrated by a milestone.

* look, I’m all for Michael Myers. He’s hot, lemme tell you that. But he’s a really boring character. It’s all the same (apart from the 3rd movie)! Michael returns to his hometown to find and kill Laurie, killing a whole other group of people who she happens to be involved with at some time during the movie.

* when I watch a horror movie, I want to have the villain to have some sort of character. At least with Jason, you can see some emotion in him which defines him as a whole! But with Michael? He’s a clean slate, and that is soo uninteresting.

* first two movies were great, others were unneeded honestly.

BILLY LENZ

* underrateeeeed.

* stinky attic boy needs some love. He is what started the slasher genre for peats sake and yet everyone overlooks him as a horror villain. Let me tell you, that phone scene in the beginning was absolutely fucking terrifying when I first watched it, and it’s still unsettling to this day even after I’ve watched it a million fucking times.

* we never even got to see Billy’s face properly throughout the whole movie and yet he made such an impact on everyone who ever watched Black Christmas! And that ending scene? Perfect cliffhanger. (The remake was shit compared to the original)

* great movie, great character, needs more credit.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

* overrated.

* bet y’all are shocked at this aren’t you? He’s the character I most often write for. But that’s really because he’s heavily requested. I actually don’t really like him all that much, too much exposure I guess. I mean I have nothing against his character as a whole, he’s attractive to me and interesting but I don’t actually know.

* now the movie is something I do know about though: bullshit. Absolutely terrible. A basic plot line (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing sometimes, it just needs to be played out right) and a director which results to cheap jump scares because apparently that’s ‘scary’. The movie as a whole is so predictable and it never scared me once when I went to watch it at the cinema. I can understand why people like it though.

* decent(?) character, bad movie.

OTIS DRIFTWOOD + family

* underrated.

* okay this might have something to do with my weakness for Bill Moseley, scarily cute women and clowns, but man do I love the Firefly family. Each and every character, even the ones we barely see, within the family is so perfectly polished and unique, and I love Rob Zombie for it. He can’t write dialogue for shit but man do I love his horror villains.

* although the first movie was very confusing at some points. Like, what?? What was with that ending? It was a very good movie in my opinion and was actually pretty horrifying. It used things that disgust us and manipulated that to terrify every single one of its viewers and that’s perfect. Hated the protagonists though.

* fantastic movie, great villains, shitty protagonists,

FREDDY KRUEGER

* overrated.

* now don’t get me wrong, I love Freddy, I grew up loving Freddy. He’s witty and fun to watch, maybe not like Chucky, but after a while he gets so repetitive that it gets really really annoying. Couldn’t they think of something unique and interesting for him to say instead of him just calling everyone a bitch??

* the writing becomes boring after a while, the directors add so many unnecessary features, weaknesses and powers we had no clue even existed up until this very point, and it’s overall not a very good franchise when you get into it. I enjoyed the first and seventh movie a lot, but all of the other ones didn’t really excite me all that much.

* okay character, okay movie, but isn’t worth all the attention.

NUBBINS SAWYER, DRAYTON SAWYER, CHOP-TOP SAWYER + GRANDPA SAWYER

* un👏🏽der👏🏽ra👏🏽ted

* these boys deserve just the same amount of attention that Leatherface does. I know that Bubba is a really cool character, and he deserves attention too! But that doesn’t mean that his family get to be left out. Each and every single one of them helped shape the Texas Chainsaw franchise to what it is today, and honestly it wouldn’t have been as amazing without them in it.

* Texas Chainsaw has so many metaphors within it nobody really goes into. When we first meet Nubbins and he’s kicked out of the van, Franklin very obviously points out “would you be able to do that?” referring to Nubbins slicing his hand up, and later on we see Franklin blowing raspberries at his friends due to the fact that he couldn’t go upstairs because of his disability, which is exactly what Nubbins was doing when he couldn’t get into the van. This area is the director exploring the ways that people could so easily turn into madness without people realising it.

* Drayton Sawyer is your average looking fellow who runs the Sawyer household, but he is not average at all. He’s sadistic, witty, hypocritical, and surprisingly still a Christian. He claims that he “doesn’t like to do the killing” and yet he’s shown constantly poking and prodding at the final girls like they’re some caged animals, living only for the pleasure of himself. The fact that he’s an elderly man basically screams “wolf in sheeps clothing”, because usually when you see an elderly person, you assume them to be kind and wise, whereas, Drayton can’t even spell ‘sex’ correctly.

* Chop-Top wasn’t present in the first movie sadly, but it’s explained why, which is understandable in a filmmaking perspective. He is probably the most terrifying character out of the bunch. He’s impulsive, disgusting, and absolutely fucking insane. Whether or not this is due to his time in Vietnam I don’t know, but man does it make a great affect. And that time in the movie where he was introduced? It was absolutely heavenly. No one in today’s horror industry would build up suspense like that and cause so much raw fear from a petty jump scare. The fact that he carries around his damn brothers corpse like he’s puppet, treating him like he’s still a living being adds onto the scare factor as well.

* great villains, good movies, everything after TCSM2 wasn’t really very good though.

Okay, now that’s over and done with! Let me show you my top ten favourite horror villains (from actual horror movies), you’ll either be completely shocked or completely not! :)

Pinhead — love the creature design. Fantastic personality and concept. Annoyed he’s not a woman.

Bubba Sawyer — baby boy needs love. And affection. And kisses. And basically anything positive. We must protect him.

Chop-Top Sawyer — terrified me when I first saw him as a kid. I wanna fuck Bill Moseley. I love his personality. Wish his movie came out.

Captain Spaulding — funny ass motherfucker. Always cracks me up. I want him to be my daddy.

Hannibal Lecter — interesting in a psychological perspective. Has a way to make your skin crawl without doing much.

Art the Clown — scarier than Pennywise. I wish his movies were better. Why didn’t Terrifier make it obvious he was a demon?

Otis Driftwood — boy’s a hottie. But please stop fucking corpses. Once again, Bill Moseley.

Stu Macher — first fictional crush. He’s my irl type of guy. I dated a guy like him once.

Jennifer Check — movie was ahead of its time. Legit was about having a succubus gf. Lesbian scene was hot. I’m gay for Meagan Fox.

Billy Lenz — terrifying phone calls. Nasty boi. The remakes will never be as great as the OG Black Christmas.

Anyways, so that’s it! It’s past midnight currently so I might just go to bed lol but whatever. I’ve wanted to write this out for a whiiile but decided to just get it over with now. I’ll say it all again: every character I write for, I like, I just have different levels of like, so please no hate over this. Thanks!

[twiststreet]

All the Yang Gangers who spent months telling themselves they were going to survive the rise of AI overlords are finally rising up in a plague-infested ghost-town America to become our nation’s John Connors to stop Nancy Pelosi and her lifeless robotic barely-resembling-human society-crushing Democratic machine... It’s the science fiction action-adventure I never knew I wanted to see.

The whole argument that people past a certain income level don’t “need” the money... it’s insane because there’s such a potentially long timespan at issue and so many unknowns as to what the economy looks like after all this (and granted, there’s that possibility that the heat of the summer months diminishes the nastiness of this... but I feel like I’ve seen people who’ve taken into that account still saying 18 months... who has an 18 month emergency fund lying around???  The conventional wisdom is you keep 4-6 months, not 18).  But the idea that when I’m past my emergency savings, that I’m staring down at forms asking me a bunch of questions and Nancy Pelosi (whose worth between 30 to 160 million dollars as of January) or whatever fucking Woke Rich Girlboss Liberals telling me that that I need to prove that I'm “needy” enough (or saying that I’m not needy enough because “oh you can just spend your retirement savings and never retire”)... I mean, what the fuck are they even talking about...???   

I’m already out of the Democratic party after this year, I’ve had my fill of all those assholes, there’s no fixing any of *waves hand at everything*.  But even talking about “need” like need’s some static situation for anyone in American life (which it obviously isn’t especially now that the Democratic establishment is killing all that Medicare For All talk with this Biden bullshit and we’re all just going to be completely exposed to the elements for the indefinite future thanks to those people), it’s just... I’m not the smartest guy, but it just seems like some stupid fucking shit.

But if you’d asked me ... if you’d asked me TEN years ago, TWENTY years ago,  “hey do you think the Democrats will bungle the response to--” I’d have just shouted yes, in your ear, while rubbing the front of your pants with the side of my hand, like a sexy karate chop.  Into it?  Let’s build that time machine-- this Terminator sequel just got greenlit in my pants!!!

[neonstahli]

all the nosy asks BITCH i love you 😤

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

I guess pansexual?

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Sleeping.

3. Ever done any drugs?

Oh yeah, definitely.

4. What piercings do you want?

I want to redo my ears, restretch them and whatnot.

5. How many people have you kissed?

Ten, that I can remember.

6. Describe your dream home.

Semi-secluded, near the beach somehow, enough land to farm/garden and let the dogs loose to roam and run, enough rooms for friends if they ever need a place to go, somewhere not too cold but not blistering hot.

7. Who are you jealous of?

No one.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

At the moment, crime shows.

9. Do you watch porn?

No.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

I have a few actually.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

To visit my family back in CT.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

To be the me I want to be.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

I havent, and I don't think I would.

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

Store half, pay bills, pay off debt for myself and the kids, get a nice house somewhere, get another car and pay it right off, get my parents caught up, help my brother and sister with whatever they need, pay for mine and my friend's transition and all that comes with it, get myself comfortable, invest a small bit into a savings bond of some sort, buy a few things for other friends, and just exist.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Not currently.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No and even if I could, probably not.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

Not really?

18. What tattoos do you want?

Galaxy sleeve based loosely on Blue Stahli, Celldweller, and Gemini Syndrome and a few smaller ones here and there.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

Blake.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Anything neon.

21. Describe your best friend.

She gets grumpy a lot at things I do, she's funny as fuck, she cares about shit more than anyone I know, she's beautiful and has a gorgeous girlfriend who is also my best friend.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

@klamstrakurrr *eyebrow wiggle*

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Cherry Pools, Blue Stahli, Celldweller, The Anix, MGK

24. What are three places you want to travel?

The UK, Canada, Iceland

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

Relaxing at home, with the kids, watching movies or playing games or something.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Autumn.

27. What’s your pet peeve?

Compulsive liars.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Tay.

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

I'm not a super big movie person so idk.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

@klamstrakurrr *BROW WAGGLE*

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

Paper books 100%.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

The Alterworld I dream about.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

More clothes that actually fit me, sort of goth, sort of gay, the usual.

34. What’s your coffee order?

More or less black for hot coffee, super sweet for iced.

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

I definitely do.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

No.

37. Have any tattoos?

A couple!

38. Do you drink?

Rarely.

39. Are you a virgin?

Almost.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Not currently.

41. How many followers do you have?

353

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

No thank u.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Good question, I have no idea.

44. Do you read erotica?

Not normally, but sometimes I'll read fanfics. 😂

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Never been on an official date.

46. How many people do you follow?

95

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Martin Broda, probably.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

Beautiful eyes, a contagious smile, confidence, someone I can spend hours with and we can just talk and laugh and have fun, someone I can connect with on a level most people just don't connect to, someone I can be clingy with sometimes, someone who's understanding of my weird brain days and wouldn't mind hugging me constantly if need be, idk.

49. Who do you text the most?

The kids and my parents.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Autumn weather. Slightly windy, a bit of sun but nothing direct, hoodie season without the windchill.

[j-j-ehlby-writes]

Meet Me at the Chalet || day five.

Eventual pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Jenessee Borosi)

Word count: ~3.9k

Summary (I suck at these): Jenessee goes on a solo vacation after the release of her first novel. She got a little more than she bargained for when she gets snowed in with her biggest celebrity crush.

Warnings: So much freaking fluff, swearing but blink and you’ll miss it, Tom being Tom

Side note: If you want to read the full short story Jen and Tom act out at the end, you can check it out here!

night one. || day one. || day two. || day three. || day four. || day five. || day six. ||

“Are you feeling any better today?” He asks as I walk into the kitchen the next morning. After actually talking about it with someone it did make my shoulders feel a tad bit lighter. I’ve never told anyone about those feelings. No one knew about my middle of the night breakdowns. Not even my best friend. So to open up to an almost complete stranger felt odd but nice. I also don’t think I would have opened up this much if it wasn’t Tom who was the one listening.

“I do, thanks to you.” I snake my arms around his waist instantly feeling more awake than I did a second ago.  

“Lending a listening ear was all I did, sweetheart. You’re stronger than you think. You just have to have more faith in yourself.” He kissed my cheek before returning to the stove. 

“Whatcha makin’?” I stand next to him and observe.

“Since you’ve had a rough couple of days, I looked up some American comfort food and found a recipe for this egg casserole with sausage and cheese. It looked good so I decided to try it.” I chuckled at his wording.

“In the Mid-west we call it ‘egg bake.’ You can never go wrong with making an egg bake for breakfast. My family and I have it for Easter and Christmas morning.”

“I’ve never tried it, so here’s hoping it turns out alright.” He sent me a hopeful smile with a hint of terror.

I couldn’t believe how thoughtful he’s being. I mean, I’ve heard he can meet someone and by the end of the day they’re best friends, but I never expected him to be like this. So comforting and nurturing. All I can say is his mother raised him absolutely right.

Half an hour later, we were lying on the couch, stuffed.  We ate half of the 9” x 13” pan he made. I don’t know why he didn’t try a smaller pan since it is just the two of us. That usually feeds at least ten people.

“Darling?” He spoke after some time in the silence. “I have to tell you something.” 

I sat up to face him. “Okay.” I took in his sudden nervousness. Whatever he’s about to tell me, he’s obviously apprehensive about but it was also mixed with determination.

“I like you.” He started, nearly sending my heart into a frenzy. Even after what happened the past two days, he says that? “And it’s because of how much I like you and how forthcoming you were with me yesterday that I can’t lie to you anymore.”

I flinched at his words. “You lied? About what?” On all accounts, Tom has been known as a very honest man. To know that he lied to me is surprising.

“My name, for one.”

Then it clicked for me. He was coming clean about who he really is to me. He is willing to give up his anonymity because he wants me to know the real him. My heart swelled at the thought.

Now I have a decision to make. When he tells me, do I tell him I knew all along or do I act shocked to find out that he’s actually this big shot actor and not the lowly theater actor he made me think he was?

He continued, “My name is not Will. Well, my first name isn’t. It is my middle name, William. But my name is actually Tom. Tom Hiddleston.” He paused, looking for some sort of recognition in my features. Thankfully, I kept my expression neutral. “And I’m not just a theater actor. I’ve done some movies that have done well and some that have not. Most people would recognize me as Loki from the Marvel franchise. I’m also currently on a TV show in the UK and am in production for another here in the states.” He paused to let that sink in. “I’m terribly sorry for being dishonest with you. When I met you and you didn’t seem to recognize me, I realized I could have a normal interaction with somebody and not have to worry about having a camera in my face. I know it wasn’t fair to not be completely honest with you, but I’m trying to make up for it by telling you everything now.”

“Wow.” I voiced, his earlier words still repeating in my head. He likes me… He actually told me he likes me; the one who just had a mental breakdown a little under 36 hours ago; someone who he met less than a week ago. Never in a million- no, a BILLION years- did I think that would ever happen. Everyone always dreams they’ll be the one who will catch their favorite actor’s eye. Not once did I think that would happen to me…

“I hope you’re not upset with me, love.” I looked in his eyes and saw how truly terrified he was that I would be mad at him. How could he think I would harbor any negative feelings towards this man with a pure heart of gold?

My hand cupped his cheek. He leaned into my hand, eyes never leaving mine. This man is so pure. He’s too precious for this cruel world and yet, here he is.

“Oh you sweet, sweet man…” I shook my head, smiling at how real my feelings for this guy have become within the last few days. “I’m not upset with you. I don’t think it’s even possible for me to think negatively of you.”

He released a huge sigh of relief, a heart-stopping smile breaking his serious demeanor. He pulled me into his lap, wrapping me up in the kind of bone-crushing hug I’ve always wanted from him. 

Since he’s been so truthful with me, I decided to tell him the truth as well. “As long as you’re not upset with me for knowing who you were the entire time.”

“Beg your pardon?” 

I resumed my original position next to him to face him, placing both hands on his shoulders.  “It hurts, doesn’t it? Being lied to. Being told you’re one thing and then learning it’s all a fiction.” I quoted Loki to show I’ve been a fan of his for a while, but not expressing just how much. “Ragnarok.” I whispered in his ear before standing up and going up to my room.

When I came back down with my writing stuff in hand, he was in the exact same place I left him. “Why did you not say anything before?” He asked still bewildered by this turn of events.

“You wanted anonymity.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t about to take away your one chance at a normal vacation. You work hard. You deserve to relax a little and not have to worry about a camera being shoved in your face.” He shook his head in disbelief at using his words against him. “And besides, I wanted to get to know you as you, the man behind the famous actor.” He still was speechless about my confession. He’s about to get another curve-ball thrown his way... “And while we’re being honest, I’ve been keeping something from you too.”

“Oh?” He finally spoke, curiosity taking over.

I fidget with the pen in my hands, keeping my eyes on it. “You know the book you were reading when I got here? Yeah, that’s mine.”

“Beg your pardon?” He says for the second time during this conversation.

“Yep. I wrote it. I’m J.J. Ehlby.” I finally admit. “It’s my pseudonym. It stands for Jenessee Julia Lynette Borosi. J-J-L-B.”

“So all of that stuff you said about not wanting to be published?” He asks, putting the pieces together in his head.

“Not entirely untrue. That’s exactly how I felt before I got published.”

He chuckled after a brief silence. “I know, darling.���

“Say what?” I blurt.

“I knew. You thought you were sneaky with your reaction to my reading it, but I saw that brief panic set in before you erased it. And then it was a complete giveaway when you pronounced the surname. You said it so flawlessly, I knew it couldn’t have been coincidence. With those two things combined, it wasn’t hard to figure out after that.” He shrugged, that mischievous smile returning to his face.

“Well then…” I plop next to him on the couch. “Now that we have that out of the way, can I please get back to my writing? Last night I was in the middle of a scene before you so rudely tempted me with food.” I stuck my tongue out at him before getting my stuff situated on my lap.

He chuckled at me from his seat. “Of course, love.” 

We were enveloped in silence once more as my story came to life in my head as I wrote. That’s where I get lost most of the time. Picturing everything in my head like it’s a movie is what drives me the most. It’s when I get stuck on how someone would move or if a certain action is even possible that I struggle. And since I’m usually alone while writing, I have no one to test it on.

I glance at the man who has resumed his new favorite position on my lap and immediately I want to ask him. But after everything that was just aired, I don’t know if that would be the best idea right now…

“You look like you’re struggling with something.” He pointed out a little while later when he noticed the sound of my pen on paper stopped.

I answered him with sarcasm, “Well aren’t you observant?” He chuckled again as he sat up. 

“What are you stuck on?” He asked settling into his new position, tossing his arm around the back of the couch and crossing his ankle over his knee.

I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m having trouble with placement. I want it to feel realistic but I just can’t seem to get it right in my head.”

“Darling, you know I’m an actor. Use me,” He offered. “I’ll help in any way that I can.”

I bit my lip as I thought about the scene I’m thinking of in my head. The characters get extremely close, closer than him and I have gotten. I know he’s used to people being in his personal space, but still. This feels different…

Despite my reservations I know I would kick myself for not taking his help. So within twenty minutes, we had the potential set up in the living room. We found a table and a roller chair we could use for an “office setting.” I sat in the chair, in the position of the narrator of my story. Tom stood about ten feet away where we placed another table to indicate where the doorway to the office would be. I directed him to lean against the table as best as he could. I also reluctantly let him read and study the scene I had so far. 

When he assured me he was ready and didn’t need it for reference anymore, I took it back. On cue, he started, “I see some things never change.”

I turned around in my chair. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, “I’m in town.”

“No, I mean, what are you doing here of all places? Why are you here, standing at the door of my office at midnight?” It was so strange to have the scene I had in my head, come to life in front of my eyes. This must be how a writer for a TV series or a movie feels when their vision comes to life as well…

He ran his fingers through his hair and fixed his glasses on cue. “Erm,” he hesitated, shifting uncomfortably, “I came to see you.”

“Why?” I blurted. “Why today of all days?”

“Because my divorce was finalized yesterday and the first person I wanted to see as a single man was you.” My heart leaps at his words as if he really meant them and was the character I had in mind.

“Divorce?” I whispered, faking disbelief.

He nods as he continues reading from the copy I made. “Shortly after I left, I told her the truth.” I drop my jaw as the character would. “She knew I was acting a bit off, but she never expected that. I told her that we never did anything… and she forgave me. I was stunned, too. That just shows how amazing she is. She asked me if I thought I could forget about you in order for us to work on our marriage. I told her I would do anything to save our relationship. We went to counseling, we spent time just the two of us without distractions to focus on who we were before we had gotten married and it all seemed to be working…” He trailed off. “But no matter how hard I tried, you were always in the back of my mind.” He met my eyes again. “I couldn’t forget about you. I couldn’t stop wondering what you must be doing, if you had met someone else, if you were thinking about me… I must have started a thousand phone calls just wanting to hear your voice again.” He paused to just stare. “I longed to see your beautiful smile or hear you laugh. I just wanted to see you again to see if I truly still felt the same as I did before or if I was only fooling myself. And so, I came back around a year ago.”

“What?”

“I came back to have lunch with my former and your current boss. When we were passing through, I saw you. You were strutting around the office, touching base with everyone. Laughing even.” He stares at me in awe as if he was truly reliving that moment. “You were even more beautiful than I remembered.” He steps into my “office,” “That was all I needed to know nothing had changed for me. You still took my breath away.” He shakes his head in amazement at the ground. “On my way out, I pulled someone aside. That someone turned out to be your assistant. Naturally, I introduced myself. He didn’t seem to know who I was, so he was more than happy to divulge any and all information about you. He raved about how ‘amazing’ it was to work for you and how you were extremely well-liked but seemed like you were ‘hung up’ on ‘your previous boss,’ thinking you were still in love with him. He didn’t go into detail but…” He chuckles again, “I didn’t need to hear anymore. With even the tiniest glimmer of hope that you still felt the same way I did even after all this time… I returned home and told her I couldn’t do it anymore. My heart was no longer in it and she knew that. Filing for divorce was the easiest decision I’ve made in a long time.” 

“Okay, now come over here.” I whisper, still slightly affected by this situation. I pointed to the spot I imagined and Tom did this, coming to a stop where I said. I turned my chair to face him. “Kneel.” I broke character for two seconds to throw that in there. He did too, cracking up at my reference. “Okay, okay,” I said trying to get us back on track. “But seriously, drop to your knees.” I directed.

He did as I instructed instantly getting back into character. His eyes relayed the exact emotions I wanted the character to have: sadness, regret, longing, relief… I don’t know how he did it so flawlessly, but that just shows how brilliant of an actor he is.

His eyebrows were furrowed creating the creases in his forehead; the type of creases he gets whenever anything caused him any distress. I’d seen them during multiple interviews and pap photos. I wanted to massage them away every time I saw them, as did the character. 

“Okay, now hold still. This is a trouble spot,” I whispered to him as I tried to run over everything in my head. I reached out to do exactly as I pictured. He watched as I did so, the wrinkles disappearing the instant my fingers touched them. His eyes fluttered shut at the contact. He released a shaky breath just like I imagined his character would. My hands were trembling as I imagined the character’s would, not knowing just how much until they came in contact with his skin. I brought my fingers down over his prominent cheekbones. His beard was surprisingly soft to the touch, taking a moment to appreciate it by running the back of my hand down his jaw. His large hand covered mine when it came to his neck, bringing it up to his lips, placing a kiss on my palm. I made a mental note of his action as I didn’t want to break this tender moment.

“The hardest being when I let you walk away from me.” He whispered, locking his eyes on mine, pain and truth written all over them. It nearly knocked me out of my seat. He encompassed everything I expected.

My shoulders slumped in defeat, losing myself in the scene. I slide off the chair as I imagined, falling knee to knee in front of him. He scooped up my hands in his, causing goosebumps to form on my entire body from his touch. He held them, running his thumbs over the backs like I wanted him to. He took a deep breath taking my attention away from our contact. “I love you, darling.” He confessed, making my heart flutter. “I believe I always have. I just didn’t know how much until I’d lost you.”

Maybe this was a bad idea… I thought I could handle doing this with him. I thought I could try and compartmentalize the acting from reality, but with him, it’s nearly impossible. He makes me believe what he’s saying, even though I know in the back of my mind that it’s not true. They’re just words I wanted him to read aloud. Nothing is real about them.

The line I wrote last before getting stuck was “If my heart could fly, it would soar…” and oh how freaking true it is…

“Okay, this is where I got stuck. I don’t know how to get where I want them to go next.” I voiced, needing his input.

“What do you want to happen?” He softly asked as if he were still in character.

“She has been imagining how this moment would play out for six years. To have the man she has been madly in love with for over half a decade finally telling her what she’s only dreamed about him saying for that long… She’s taking it all in.” I release his hands and stand on my knees to be level with the desk. I grab my pen and start writing what I see play out in my head. “She searches his eyes for fallacies, but she obviously doesn’t find any.” I vocalize to him as I write so he can stay in the loop. “She worries that she may have fallen asleep at her desk, but then she looks at their hands. The warmth his hands are giving her is the only tether to the real world she has.” 

“And because she doesn’t say anything, he’s anxious.” Tom joined in. “He sees how she’s stuck in her head, so he has to bring her back to him somehow.”

I take a moment to take his suggestion into consideration. I agree that she shouldn’t say anything at first. She’s lost in the fact that he’s in front of her, confessing his feelings for her when she’s only made up conversations like this in her head.

“If she’s looking at their hands, he could use his hand to bring her eyes back to his. He’s missed her as much as she has him so he’ll want to stare into them as much as he possibly can.” He adds, making perfect sense.

“Good.” I write it out as it plays out in my head over and over again. “As for the dialogue, there doesn’t need to be much. There really isn’t much else to say, except for her finally telling him how she feels.”

“Should we just see where it takes us?” He suggested. I nodded in agreement. I returned to our previous position after finishing. His hands enveloped mine again, the warmth of them heating up my now cold fingers. I watched as if I could see them warming before my eyes. He let go of one of mine and brought it to my face. He used his thumb and forefinger to take my chin and bring my gaze back to his, just like we described. “Darling?” He whispered.

Both of us were brought up to our knees with the feeling of our bodies longing to be closer to the other, driving us to stay close.

“Is this real?” I asked, feeling like I just came out of a daydream. My hands found their way into his long ginger locks. They were just as soft as I imagined them to be. I would have run my fingers through them every day if he would’ve let me…

“God, I hope so.” He breathes out, leaning his forehead against mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist, our hips connecting. Tingles spread throughout my body at the close contact. My heart was beating so loudly, I’m sure he can hear it. 

I froze, knowing what I wanted to happen next with the characters, but I don’t know if I could handle what would happen if we were to do what I was thinking… Oh God do I want to kiss him. I’ve thought about kissing him since the first night. But I didn’t think he would’ve been okay with me doing so. After his confession earlier though, he might be now… However, I can’t let that happen. Because if I were to let myself have what I’ve been dreaming of, I don’t think I’ll want to stop.

So to save us both some awkwardness for the last two days we have here, I pulled away from him. He looked confused as I stood up completely. My knees yelled at me for abusing them more than they’re used to but I ignored the pain. “Okay, I think I can figure it out from here.” I collected my stuff. “Thank you for this. It helped more than you could ever imagine.”

He abruptly stood up as well, clearing his throat. “You’re more than welcome, love. Let me know if you need any more help.”

We both go to our respective rooms for the remainder of the night. As soon as I got back to mine, I kicked myself. I actually walked away from kissing Tom freaking Hiddleston; someone I’ve been dying to know what it would be like for years. I could have had his lips against mine and I made the conscious decision to leave before it could happen. My pre-vacation self would have killed me if she saw who I’ve become.

I wrote down what played out, finding it was exactly right for the situation, but I couldn’t finish it. When I got to the kiss, I couldn’t bring myself to write it. I tried to watch a few of his kiss scenes but that didn’t help at all. None of them can describe what it’s like to kiss him. I want it to be authentic. Had I known that at the time, I might have let it happen for the story… or maybe not. I guess I won’t know.

day six...

Permanent taglist: @elusive-beauty @drakesfiance @im-a-slut-for-an-accent @fantasy-is-my-reality @hiddlephile @naniky

[oberitsu]

tagged by @shadows-in-the-light-of-day​. i don’t usually do these but, why not?

Rules: Name ten favorite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people.

In no particular order!!

1. Allen Avadonia (Evillious Chronicles)

To the surprise of absolutely no one, I love Allen so much. He was a huge comfort for me in high school and still is to this day. I don’t know what to say about him that I haven’t said a million times before. He’s snarky but has good intentions, he loves his family despite how chaotic and hard everything gets, and he just wants what’s best for everyone. The self-sacrificing nature is also a bit close to home for me. Maybe not to the point of dying but definitely to the point of my own deteriorating wellbeing... whoops.

2. Rouge (Witch’s Heart)

First of all, Aesthetic. Second of all, I love her personality so fucking much and her role in the story. I’m gonna stay vague for the sake of not spoiling but she really is the most interesting demon to me despite having the least screentime. She’s got layers to her personality if you dig deep and I can’t wait to see what else IZ will do with her.

3. Ryuunosuke Akutagawa (Bungo Stray Dogs)

What’s this?! A character that’s not a blond snarky babie? I know, I’m shocked too! Akutagawa is a ruthless mafioso who needs to take a goddamned chill pill... and also an abused young adult whose mental heatlh needs some serious help and care. He’s not 100% evil either (though, yes, yes, murder is wrong, I know, but this is a series where they try to make the Best Character a morally gray ex-mafioso who is the one who abused Akutagawa. So I Mean.) and I hope he gets some good character development in season 4 (or past season 3 of the manga, I’m not caught up on it sorry ^^; )

also he’s voiced by Kensho Ono and I Stan A Legend

4. Tenn Kujou (IDOLiSH7)

aaaand we’re back to the snarky blonds (well, he’s more albino, I guess?). Tenn falls under that umbrella of “My Type”s known as Family Matters -- he loves and cares for Riku so much, he’s just... terrible at showing it due to his personality and how Kujou-papa raised him. His sense of humor is right up my alley as well, and his singing is angelic (cough cough). I will admit I’m not caught up on IDOLiSH7′s story so I don’t know if he’s doing better or worse with regards to how he’s treating Riku but I hope it’s better. I want it to be better. They’re such good bros c’mon just tell Kujou-papa to piss off you can do it

5. Yuuri/Joeri (Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V)

My Bastard Baby Boy. Sakurabrows. Cabbage Kid. No joke I only got interested in him because some of my best friends assigned him to me in a group chat and I was just like “ok sure I like his color scheme” and had no clue he was going to be a shithead gremlin villain. He’s my favorite Yu-Gi-Oh! character ever. Whoops. I predicted a lot about his character development and personality when I got into the series (intentionally or not, he’s ADHD coded, his backstory is what I expected, and “Yuugou-kun” as a nickname he gives Yuugo became canon on my goddamned birthday). He’s not a perfect character - being gaycoded and without a proper redemption arc is disappointing - but he’s dear to my heart due to how relatable and funny he is. also i built a predaplants deck IRL and i actually hate the aesthetic of predaplants a lot but I learned the deck just because of my best fuckin boi. fight me.

6. Shuuya Kano (Kagerou Project/Mekakucity Actors)

what can i say i have a Type Okay but real talk Kano just makes me Sad. He’s so much smarter than anyone ever catches on to, his backstory is just heartwrenching, and he does his best to make people happy even when he’s miserable. Holy shit what is it with light-haired boys in Japanese fiction hitting all my weakpoints. His character song is also a bop and his voice actor is super great as well.

7. Nico Yazawa (Love Live! School Idol Project)

Nico Nico Nii~! Honestly she was like, bottom tier for me at first, but then she grew on me somehow. I don’t even know how. She’s super cute and her voice actor is super talented, even if her squeakiness can be a little grating to some people. Honestly there’s not much else to say. She’s just... Adorable.

8. Xion (Kingdom Hearts)

hello first female crush when i was like 12! Identity crisis, wanting what’s best for others while struggling to figure out what she wants, etc? Sign Me The Hell Up, Literally Just Target My Middle School Angsty Ass, Why Don’t You. Kingdom Hearts III might not have handled her perfectly but I’m glad she wasn’t completely forgotten about period.

9. Mae (Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia)

Kliff fits my type that I’ve put on this list a bunch, but that’s enough blond snarky bois! Now for a pink spunky girl! Mae was easily the highlight of Celica’s path in Echoes, her sense of humor and bright attitude despite the odds was just, a spot of sunlight. Honestly, lots of characters in Fire Emblem are great, but Cherami Leigh’s delivery just sends her up to the top for me, alongside Celica, Leon, Kliff, Boey, Mathilda, like the entirety of Fire Emblem Awakening............. yeah.

10. v flower (VOCALOID)

does vocaloid count? i’m gonna say it counts. v flower is an aesthetic and their voice is super great, they get lots of good original songs by Kairiki Bear and GHOST and probably others i haven’t heard of!! v flower’s aesthetic is also A+++ and they’re fun to doodle. i love them. alongside Nekomura Iroha and VY2, they’re among my favorite vocaloids to listen to without giving preference to a certain producer or tuner. 

tagging: anyone! i don’t care. i did this for fun i don’t usually do tag games

[chronopunk]

Short Fiction - The Face Of God

"Have you ever really thought about the face of God, Captain?"

Doctor Merrill leaned forward in his chair, cradling the steaming cup in his hands, looking at it for a long moment. His eyes seemed to lose their focus briefly, as though he were gazing at something far away, before squeezing shut, only to flash back open, fixed on Captain Hernandez' own eyes. Merrill held the stare for what seemed like an eternity, then relaxed, his shoulders slumping as he let the soft cushions of the chair enfold him. The cup, still held tightly in both hands, drifted up to his lips as he sipped at the coffee twice before resting its warmth upon his lap.

"Can't say that I have," Hernandez said softly. She'd been woken from her sleep by Merrill insisting on speaking to her. Three days on her ship without a word, and now here they were, alone in the narrow space that served as the ship's common mess, drinking coffee — real coffee, brought on board by Merrill when he'd transferred off of Midday Splendor for his trip back to Central on Earth — while he, finally, decided to open up about... whatever it was he needed to talk about.

"Your family's Catholic," he asked. "Yes?"

Hernandez nodded. "Essentially. I suppose depending on who you ask, God's an old man, a young man, an infant, or something in between."

"What do you think?" Merrill's question was pointed, something hiding just underneath the words.

"I..." Hernandez paused. "Honestly, the Church never spoke to me. I think that's why I'm out here. I think maybe God's too big to live on one planet, and only have one form. Kind of Spacelane Cliche, I know but..."

Merrill shook his head. "No, no, you're fine. Don't cheapen your lack of rigidity. You're closer than you know."

Hernandez sipped from her cup, letting the dark, rich flavors swirl around in her mouth before swallowing. "Oh? How's that?"

Merrill glanced back over his shoulder, checking yet again to make sure they were alone in the room.

"I've seen them."

"'Them'?"

"The Engineers."

Hernandez' eyes widened, then narrowed. "Are you sure?"

Merrill sat the coffee down on the table, then withdrew his hands. They shook, not in fear or shame, but in excitement, as he pulled them back against his body. He held them, one inside the other, tightly against his belly, lips moving quietly in a practiced countdown. Hernandez knew the drill, she'd seen it prescribed enough times by ship's psychiatrists to help crewmen with anxiety, especially after their first EVA or deep-space recon. Prescribed it herself, before she'd secured a captaincy and left room for someone else to fill the counselor's office.

Merrill's eyes never opened as he spoke, not so quietly as to be unheard, but still softly enough that Hernandez had to lean in. His words weren't the practiced meter of someone reciting a speech, with inflection and emphasis meant to draw a response from the listener; rather, they carried the sound of a man watching it all happen again, the moment he closed his eyes. She'd seen this in trauma cases, heard that tone before a thousand times.

"We were on a mineral survey," he said. "I'd tell you where, but they made it very clear that I'm not allowed to do that. Not yet. Fifth planet of a nine world system. Seventeen AI's, four biologicals. Myself, Doctors Plenem and Havarsk, and Professor Utumi. Utumi and I were the only Humans on board. Plenem, the Dosili, had this irascible grump at all times. Hated being in cold sleep, but with the ship using a Sling-Drive instead of gates to get where we needed to go, what were we supposed to do? Stay awake for the trip and age out to retirement before we got there? Havarsk is a Galbriki and you know how they do on long, boring voyages. We woke him up last."

"We were four days in to the mission," Merrill sighed. "Doing well, honestly. Ahead of schedule. I was on the night shift with Utumi, going over core analysis when it happened."

"'It'?" Hernandez asked.

"The light. The brightest light I have ever seen. The instruments said nothing was there. Some of the most advanced sensor equipment in the entire fleet, and nothing. The AI's didn't pick it up. They saw nothing. But I saw it. Utumi saw it. Plenem and Havarsk rushed up to the bridge because even dead asleep, THEY saw it."

"It was like space was opening up on itself. The void was gone, and it was... just light. Light, pouring out of a hole in reality. Then it just stopped. It wasn't like a zipper closing or a wound sealing, it just... stopped. The four of us vetoed the AI's, and moved the ship immediately. The light had come from the fourth world. Middle of the habitable zone, but... dead, really. No magnetosphere, no real atmosphere to speak of."

Hernandez drained her coffee, pouring more in to her cup as Merrill paused, holding his own cup up for more. "Any other habitables in the system?"

Merrill shook his head. "No. That's why we were there. You don't mine populated systems. Not if you want to stay out of jail."

Hernandez nodded, quietly, signalling to Merrill to continue.

"There were thousands of them. All shapes and sizes. Nothing that the eye could really settle on, you know? We knew they were there, but they weren't... THERE. The AI's, the instruments, they all continued to say there was nothing happening. But there was. They were moving, all over the planet. Encircling it. I tried to count them, but I couldn't tell you how many there were if I tried. I say 'thousands,' but it could have been millions. It could have been ten. They slipped in and out of my peripheral vision, into the little blind spaces in our retinas that our brains edit out. I knew they were there, but... If you ask me to describe them, I'll give you a different answer every time. Not because I'm lying, but because I honestly remember them differently, every time I try."

"That sounds frustrating," Hernandez said. Merrill laughed.

"It's liberating. But do you want to know what they did?"

He didn't wait for her answer, draining his cup and setting it down on the table before leaning in to whisper range.

"They. Took. The. Planet. Apart," he hissed. "Just... opened it up like it was an orange. Somehow, without any of us realizing, all the little ones had vanished. Or maybe they became the big one. I don't know. But suddenly there was a... ship... a... machine... something. Huge. Bigger than anything I've ever seen. Bigger than the planet. The instruments registered THAT. Gravity well. Massive. Enough to crush us. But it didn't. It just... sat there. And it took the planet apart. Layer by layer, peeling it off in smooth, even segments. Pulled it apart all the way down to the cold, hard core."

"And then... then... holes. In space. Cometary material, or... ice from some far-off cloud, maybe. Trans-uranics from who knows where. Meteors and rocks the size of India. They all just came pouring out of the holes. Some of them smashed into the core. Others drifted, lazily, down to their new homes in the planet's layers, like... well, like chocolate chips or berries in the frosting you put between the layers of a cake. And the instruments got all of this. But they still didn't SEE the SHIP."

"What... what did you do?" Hernandez gasped. Her heart had lodged itself in her throat, and she'd unconsciously begun her own slow countdown, getting her racing pulse under control.

"We watched them. What else could we do? We watched them, and they... made a planet. Remade a planet. I'm not sure. We took shifts, resting when our brains would let us, or taking sleeper shots when they wouldn't. It took them four days. And then they just... put the planet back together. I watched as they sealed off the planet's core. It had been dead. Cold, grey. A lump of metal. Now it was spinning. Violent. Hot. Alive. As they wrapped the layers back around it, it burst its cage, spreading carefully up through the once-dead rock. I watched the rock melt into the magma and begin to course and flow like any proper world's lifeblood should. A myriad of thin, barely-there beams washed over the planet, and suddenly it had tectonic plates. And then we registered a burgeoning magnetosphere. By the end of it all, when the ship just... winked out... it had an atmosphere. Nothing we could call livable, but... there were signs. Traces of organic compounds in the clouds, on the ground. The rains had begun by the time Central called us to inform us that our governments would be sending ships to pick us all up. They put Utumi on a ship to Delta Pavonis, to make sure no one could intercept both the Humans."

"What happened to the AI's?" Hernandez asked. "Are they still out there?"

"Maybe," Merrill shrugged. "They only caught the last half of the miracle. That's not what the folks at Central are after, I suppose."

"That's a hell of a thing to see," Hernandez sighed.

"It is. It makes you understand why there are cults, out there, dedicated to these... legends. To the people who say they've seen them. And why so many of them are Doomsday-types, as well. If The Engineers can create habitable worlds... if they're the real reason why there are so many more livable worlds than any equation can predict... why couldn't they also be the reason for the dead worlds, out there? Why couldn't they give... and take... as they see fit?"

"What do you think, Doctor?"

Merrill gazed on Hernandez briefly, then shook his head. "I'm a scientist. I don't think any other scientist would expend so much effort creating, only to engage in some twisted, Malthusian concept of retributive balance. If you can do the things they can do, there's no reason to be a dick about it by killing a whole world just because you made a new one."

Hernandez chuckled. "Fair enough. So... why talk to me now? Three days of nothing, and then... Now?"

Merrill's eyes shifted, moving erratically around the room, seeming to settle in one corner briefly before shooting to a space just above and behind Hernandez.

"Because I was asked to do so."

Without knowing why, Hernandez glanced over her shoulder, but saw nothing.

"By whom?"

"It's here," Merrill whispered. "It's very small, but if you know where to look, you'll see it. It wants you to listen to what it has to say."