#and I’m scared AF to be homeless

[anamericangirl]

Aug. 19, 2015: In Boston, after he and his brother beat a sleeping homeless man of Mexican descent with a metal pole, Steven Leader, 30, told police "Donald Trump was right, all these illegals need to be deported." The victim, however, was not in the United States illegally. The brothers, who are white, ultimately pleaded guilty to several assault-related charges and were each sentenced to at least two years in prison.

Dec. 5, 2015: After Penn State University student Nicholas Tavella, 19, was charged with "ethnic intimidation" and other crimes for threatening to "put a bullet" in a young Indian man on campus, his attorney argued in court that Tavella was just motivated by "a love of country," not "hate." "Donald Trump is running for President of the United States saying that, 'We've got to check people out more closely,'" Tavella's attorney argued in his defense. Tavella, who is white, ultimately pleaded guilty to ethnic intimidation and was sentenced to up to two years in prison.

April 28, 2016: When FBI agents arrested 61-year-old John Martin Roos in White City, Oregon, for threatening federal officials, including then-President Barack Obama, they found several pipe bombs and guns in his home. In the three months before his arrest, Roos posted at least 34 messages to Twitter about Trump, repeatedly threatening African Americans, Muslims, Mexican immigrants and the "liberal media," and in court documents, prosecutors noted that the avowed Trump supporter posted this threatening message to Facebook a month earlier: "The establishment is trying to steal the election from Trump. ... Obama is already on a kill list ... Your [name] can be there too." Roos, who is white, has since pleaded guilty to possessing an unregistered explosive device and posting internet threats against federal officials. He was sentenced to more than five years in prison.

June 3, 2016: After 54-year-old Henry Slapnik attacked his African-American neighbors with a knife in Cleveland, he told police "Donald Trump will fix them because they are scared of Donald Trump," according to police reports. Slapnik, who is white, ultimately pleaded guilty to "ethnic intimidation" and other charges. It's unclear what sentence he received.

Aug. 16, 2016: In Olympia, Washington, 32-year-old Daniel Rowe attacked a white woman and a black man with a knife after seeing them kiss on a popular street. When police arrived on the scene, Rowe professed to being "a white supremacist" and said "he planned on heading down to the next Donald Trump rally and stomping out more of the Black Lives Matter group," according to court documents filed in the case. Rowe, who is white, ultimately pleaded guilty to charges of assault and malicious harassment, and he was sentenced to more than four years in prison.

Sept. 1, 2016: The then-chief of the Bordentown, New Jersey, police department, Frank Nucera, allegedly assaulted an African American teenager who was handcuffed. Federal prosecutors said the attack was part of Nucera's "intense racial animus," noting in federal court that "within hours" of the assault, Nucera was secretly recorded saying "Donald Trump is the last hope for white people." The 60-year-old Nucera, who is white, was indicted by a federal grand jury on three charges, including committing a federal hate crime and lying to the FBI about the alleged assault. He was convicted of lying to the FBI, but a jury deadloc

Oct. 10, 2016: Police in Albany, New York, arrested 55-year-old Todd Warnken for threatening an African-American woman at a local grocery store “because of her race,” according to a police report. Warnken allegedly told the victim, “Trump is going to win, and if you don’t like it I’m gonna beat your ass you n----r,” the police report said. He ultimately pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge in the case and completed a local “restorative justice program,” allowing the charges against him to be dismissed, according to the district attorney’s office.

Oct. 13, 2016: After the FBI arrested three white Kansas men for plotting to bomb an apartment complex in Garden City, Kansas, where many Somali immigrants lived, one of the men's attorneys insisted to a federal judge that the plot was "self-defensive" because the three men believed "that if Donald Trump won the election, President Obama would not recognize the validity of those results, that he would declare martial law, and that at that point militias all over the country would have to step in." Then, after a federal grand jury convicted 47-year-old Patrick Stein and the two other men of conspiracy-related charges, Stein's attorney argued for a lighter sentence based on "the backdrop" of Stein's actions: Trump had become "the voice of a lost and ignored white, working-class set of voters" like Stein, and the "climate" at the time could propel someone like Stein to "go to 11," attorney Jim Pratt said in court. Stein and his two accomplices were each sentenced to at least 25 years in prison.

Nov. 3, 2016: In Tampa, Florida, David Howard threatened to burn down the house next to his "simply because" it was being purchased by a Muslim family, according to the Justice Department. He later said under oath that while he harbored a years-long dislike for Muslims, the circumstances around the home sale were "the match that lit the wick." He cited Trump's warnings about immigrants from majority-Muslim countries. "[With] the fact that the president wants these six countries vetted, everybody vetted before they come over, there's a concern about Muslims," Howard said. Howard, who is white, ultimately pleaded guilty to a federal civil rights violation, and the 59-year-old was sentenced to eight months in prison.

Nov. 10, 2016: A 23-year-old man from High Springs, Florida, allegedly assaulted an unsuspecting Hispanic man who was cleaning a parking lot outside of a local food store. "[H]e was suddenly struck in the back of the head," a police report said of the victim. "[The victim] asked the suspect why he hit him, to which the suspect replied, 'This is for Donald Trump.' The suspect then grabbed [the victim] by the jacket and proceeded to strike him several more times," according to the report. Surveillance video of the incident "completely corroborated [the victim's] account of events," police said. The suspect was arrested on battery charges, but the case was dropped after the victim decided not to pursue the matter, police said. Efforts by ABC News to reach the victim for further explanation were not successful.

Nov. 12, 2016: In Grand Rapids, Michigan, while attacking a cab driver from East Africa, 23-year-old Jacob Holtzlander shouted racial epithets and repeatedly yelled the word, "Trump," according to law enforcement records. Holtzlander, who is white, ultimately pleaded guilty to a charge of ethnic intimidation, and he was sentenced to 30 days in jail.

Nov. 16, 2016: Police in San Antonio, Texas, arrested 32-year-old Dusty Paul Lacombe after he and a companion assaulted a black man at a convenience store. According to a police report, Lacombe “stepped out of a vehicle and walked to the [victim] and stated he was a Trump supporter and swung at him several times.” The victim “was punched in the face several times,” the police report said. When police arrived, Lacombe – who “smelled strongly of alcohol” – “stated something about Trump and admitted to fighting with [the victim],” the police report noted. Lacombe was charged with misdemeanor assault and ultimately received “deferred adjudication,” which is akin to probation. Lacombe ultimately pleaded “no contest” to the charge and was granted “deferred adjudication” with a $450 fine.

Jan. 3, 2017: In Chicago, four young African-Americans -- sisters Brittany and Tanishia Covington, Jordan Hill and Tesfaye Cooper -- tied up a white, mentally disabled man and assaulted him, forcing him to recite the phrases "F--k Donald Trump" and "F--k white people" while they broadcast the attack online. Each of them ultimately pleaded guilty to committing a hate crime and other charges, and three of them were sentenced to several years in prison.

Jan. 25, 2017: At JFK International Airport in New York, a female Delta employee, wearing a hijab in accordance with her Muslim faith, was "physically and verbally" attacked by 57-year-old Robin Rhodes of Worcester, Mass., "for no apparent reason," prosecutors said at the time. When the victim asked Brown what she did to him, he replied: "You did nothing, but ... [Expletive] Islam. [Expletive] ISIS. Trump is here now. He will get rid of all of you." Rhodes ultimately pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of "menacing," and he was sentenced to probation.

Feb. 19, 2017: After 35-year-old Gerald Wallace called a mosque in Miami Gardens, Florida, and threatened to "shoot all y'all," he told the FBI and police that he made the call because he "got angry" from a local TV news report about a terrorist act. At a rally in Florida the day before, Trump falsely claimed that Muslim refugees had just launched a terrorist attack in Sweden.

Feb. 23, 2017: Kevin Seymour and his partner Kevin price were riding their bicycles in Key West, Florida, when a man on a moped, 30-year-old Brandon Davis of North Carolina, hurled anti-gay slurs at them and "intentionally" ran into Seymour's bike, shouting, "You live in Trump country now," according to police reports and Davis' attorney. Davis ultimately pleaded guilty to a charge of battery evidencing prejudice, but in court, he expressed remorse and was sentenced to four years of probation.

May 3, 2017: In South Padre Island, Texas, 35-year-old Alexander Jennes Downing of Waterford, Connecticut, was captured on cellphone video taunting and aggressively approaching a Muslim family, repeatedly shouting, "Donald Trump will stop you!" and other Trump-related remarks. Police arrested downing, of Waterford, Connecticut, for public intoxication. It's unclear what came of the charge.

May 11, 2017: Authorities arrested Steven Martan of Tucson, Arizona, after he left three threatening messages at the office Rep. Martha McSally, R-Ariz. In one message, he told McSally he was going to "blow your brains out," and in another he told her that her "days are numbered." He later told FBI agents "that he was venting frustrations with Congresswoman McSally's congressional votes in support of the President of the United States," according to charging documents. Martan's attorney, Walter Goncalves Jr., later told a judge that Martan had "an alcohol problem" and left the messages "after becoming intoxicated" and "greatly upset" by news that McSally "agreed with decisions by President Donald Trump." Martan, 58, has since pleaded guilty to three counts of retaliating against a federal official and was sentenced to more than one year in prison.

May 23, 2017: George Jarjour and his brother, Sam Jarjour, were getting gas at a station in Bellevue, Washington, when 56-year-old Kenneth Sjarpe started yelling at them to “go back to your country,” according to a police report. Sjarpe then drove his truck toward the brothers, rolled down his window, and declared, “F--k you, you Muslims,” and “I’ll f---ing kill you,” the police report stated. When police officers interviewed Sjarpe the next day, according to the report, he “became animated and his voice got louder as he started talking about how he hated those people… [particularly] Iranians, Indians and Middle Easterners.” And, the report recounted, “He said he supports Trump in keeping them out.” A week later, Sjarpe threatened another man at a local business, yelling, “I hate foreigners,” according to a police report. He was arrested days later. Sjarpe ultimately pleaded guilty to one count of malicious harassment and was sentenced to six months behind bars.

Oct. 22, 2017: A 44-year-old California man threatened to kill Rep. Maxine Waters, D-Calif., for her frequent criticism of Trump and her promise to "take out" the president. Anthony Scott Lloyd left a voicemail at the congresswoman's Washington office, declaring: "If you continue to make threats towards the president, you're going to wind up dead, Maxine. Cause we'll kill you." After pleading guilty to one count of threatening a U.S. official, Lloyd asked the judge for leniency, saying he suffered from addiction-inducing mental illness and became "far too immersed in listening to polarizing political commentators and engaging in heated political debates online." His lawyer put it this way to the judge: "Mr. Lloyd was a voracious consumer of political news online, on television and on radio … [that are] commonly viewed as 'right wing,' unconditionally supportive of President Trump, and fiercely critical of anyone who opposed President Trump's policies." The judge sentenced Lloyd to six months of house arrest and three years of probation.

Feb. 21, 2018: A federal grand jury in Washington, D.C., indicted a former U.S. diplomat – William Patrick Syring, 60, of Arlington, Virginia – on several counts for threatening employees of the Arab American Institute. He had previously served nearly a year in prison for threats he made in emails and voicemails to the same organization in 2006, but soon after serving his time he began emailing the organization again. In January 2017, a week after Trump was inaugurated, Syring sent one email saying: "It's time for ethnic cleansing of Arabs in America. Elections have consequences. President Trump will cleanse America of [AAI President James] Zogby … and all Arab American terrorists." Within months, he began sending particularly “charged” rhetoric that constituted “a true threat” – and emails like the one from January 2017 reflect the type of language that was “part and parcel of” his threats, prosecutors said in court documents. In May 2019, a federal jury convicted Syring on all 14 counts against him, including seven hate-crime charges and seven interstate-threat charges. He was sentenced to five years in prison.

March 1, 2018: The FBI arrested 24-year-old Daniel Frisiello of Beverly, Massachusetts, for sending envelopes with white powder to at least five politically-charged locations around the country. One of those envelopes was addressed to “Donald Trump Jr.” in New York, and it included a typed letter stating, “You are an awful, awful person, I am surprised that your father lets you speak on TV.” Trump Jr.’s then-wife received and then opened the letter. The FBI ultimately determined Frisiello was responsible for a rash of threatening letters sent to various public servants since 2015. In 2016, Frisiello sent white powder to Trump’s family in what federal authorities called “a bid to persuade [Trump] to drop out of the presidential race.” Frisiello then sent white powder to Trump Jr. in early 2018 “because of the victim’s connection with his father,” federal authorities said. Frisiello ultimately pleaded guilty to 13 federal counts of mailing a threat. He was sentenced to five years’ probation, including one year of home confinement, after even prosecutors acknowledged there were “unique circumstances concerning Mr. Frisiello’s mental and emotional conditions,” as they said in court documents.

April 6, 2018: The FBI arrested 38-year-old Christopher Michael McGowan of Roanoke, Virginia, for allegedly posting a series of Twitter threats against Rep. Bob Goodlatte, R-Va., over several months. In one posting in December 2017, McGowan wrote to Goodlatte: "I threatened to kill you if you help Trump violate the constitution," according to charging documents. In another alleged post, the self-described Army veteran wrote: "If Trump tries to fire [special counsel Robert] Mueller I WILL make an attempt to execute a citizens arrest against [Goodlatte] and I will kill him if he resist." In subsequent statements to police, he said he drinks too much, was "hoping to get someone's attention over his concerns about the current status of our country," and did not actually intend to harm Goodlatte, court documents recount. A federal grand jury has indicted McGowan on one count of transmitting a threat over state lines, and it's unclear if he has entered a plea as he awaits trial.

June 8, 2018: Federal authorities arrested Nicholas Bukoski of Anne Arundel County, Maryland, for threatening to kill Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vermont, and Sen. Kamala Harris, D-California. “You wouldn’t want to be caught off guard when I use my second amendment protected firearms to rid the world of you,” Bukowski wrote to Sanders via Instagram on March, 24, 2018. Two minutes later, he wrote to Harris saying he will “make sure you and your radical lefty friends never get back in power … because you won’t make it to see that day.” At a mental treatment facility shortly after his arrest, he said, “He was watching the news and social media, which made him want to send the threats. He stated that he was frustrated with liberals and he is very supportive of the current president,” court documents signed by Bukoski recount. Other court documents describe Bukoski’s criminal past unrelated to politics, including a series of arsons he committed in 2017 and early 2018 and an armed robbery he committed in January 2018. In the most recent case involving threats to lawmakers, he ultimately pleaded guilty to one count of transmitting interstate threats and was sentenced to six months in prison.

July 6, 2018: Martin Astrof, 75, approached a volunteer at the campaign office of Rep. Lee Zeldin, R-N.Y., in Suffolk County, New York, and "state[d] he was going to kill supporters of U.S. congressman Lee Zeldin and President Donald Trump," according to charging documents. Astrof was arrested and ultimately pleaded guilty to reckless endangerment. He was sentenced to one year of probation.

August 2018: After the Boston Globe called on news outlets around the country to resist what it called "Trump's assault on journalism," the Boston Globe received more than a dozen threatening phone calls. "You are the enemy of the people," the alleged caller, 68-year-old Robert Chain of Encino, California, told a Boston Globe employee on Aug. 22. "As long as you keep attacking the President, the duly elected President of the United States ... I will continue to threat[en], harass, and annoy the Boston Globe." A week later, authorities arrested Chain on threat-related charges. After a hearing in his case, he told reporters, "America was saved when Donald J. Trump was elected president." Chain has pleaded guilty to seven threat-related charges.

Oct. 4, 2018: The Polk County Sheriff's Office in Florida arrested 53-year-old James Patrick of Winter Haven, Florida, for allegedly threatening "to kill Democratic office holders, members of their families and members of both local and federal law enforcement agencies," according to a police report. In messages posted online, Patrick detailed a "plan" for his attacks, which he said he would launch if then-nominee Brett Kavanaugh was not confirmed as a Supreme Court justice, the police report said. Seeking Patrick's release from jail after his arrest, Patrick's attorney, Terri Stewart, told a judge that her client's "rantings" were akin to comments from "a certain high-ranking official" -- Trump. The president had "threatened the North Korean people -- to blow them all up. It was on Twitter," Stewart said, according to the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. Patrick has been charged with making a written threat to kill or injure, and he has pleaded not guilty.

Late October 2018: Over the course of a week, Florida man Cesar Sayoc allegedly mailed at least 15 potential bombs to prominent critics of Trump and members of the media. Sayoc had been living in a van plastered with pro-Trump stickers, and he had posted several pro-Trump messages on social media. Federal prosecutors have accused him of "domestic terrorism," and Sayoc has since pleaded guilty to 65 counts, including use of a weapon of mass destruction. He was sentenced to 20 years in prison. "We believe the president's rhetoric contributed to Mr. Sayoc's behavior," Sayoc's attorney told the judge at sentencing.

Oct. 21, 2018: While Bruce M. Alexander of Tampa, Florida, was flying on a Southwest Airlines flight from Houston, Texas, to Albuquerque, New Mexico, he assaulted a woman by “reaching around the seat” in front of him and “offensively touching” her, he acknowledged in court documents. When federal authorities then arrested him, he “stated that the President of the United States says it’s ok to grab women by their private parts,” an FBI agent wrote in court documents. Alexander ultimately pleaded guilty to a federal misdemeanor count of simple assault and was sentenced to two days behind bars.

Nov. 3, 2018: Police in Tucson, Arizona, arrested 42-year-old Daniel Brito of Rockville, Maryland, on a robbery charge after he allegedly stole a Tucson man’s “Make America Great Again” hat and punched the victim several times. When a police officer responded to the scene, Brito told the officer, “I saw this guy with a Trump hat walk by and think about, ‘You know what, f--k him,” according to a police report. Brito later told two other officers that he believed the victim was a “Neo-nazi Jew hater” because the victim supported Trump, another police report said.

Dec. 4, 2018: Michael Brogan, 51, of Brooklyn, New York, left a voicemail at an unidentified U.S. Senator's office in Washington insisting, "I'm going to put a bullet in ya. … You and your constant lambasting of President Trump. Oh, reproductive rights, reproductive rights." He later told an FBI agent that before leaving the voicemail he became "very angry" by "an internet video of the Senator, including the Senator's criticism of the President of the United States as well as the Senator's views on reproductive rights." "The threats were made to discourage the Senator from criticizing the President," the Justice Department said in a later press release. Brogan has since pleaded guilty to one count of threatening a U.S. official, and he is awaiting sentencing.

Jan. 17, 2019: Stephen Taubert of Syracuse, New York, was arrested by the U.S. Capitol Police for threatening to kill Rep. Maxine Waters, D-Calif., and for threatening to "hang" former President Barack Obama. Taubert used "overtly bigoted, hateful language" in his threats, according to federal prosecutors. On July 20, 2018, Taubert called the congresswoman's Los Angeles office to say he would find her at public events and kill her and her entire staff. In a letter to the judge just days before Taubert's trial began, his defense attorney, Courtenay McKeon, noted: "During that time period, Congresswoman Waters was embroiled in a public feud with the Trump administration. … On June 25, 2018, in response to Congresswoman Waters' public statements, President Trump tweeted: 'Congresswoman Maxine Waters, an extraordinarily low IQ person, has … just called for harm to supporters … of the Make America Great Again movement. Be careful what you wish for Max!'" As McKeon insisted to the judge: "This context is relevant to the case." A federal jury ultimately convicted Taubert on three federal charges, including retaliating against a federal official and making a threat over state lines. He was sentenced to nearly four years in prison.

Jan. 22, 2019: David Boileau of Holiday, Florida, was arrested by the Pasco County Sheriff's Office for allegedly burglarizing an Iraqi family's home and "going through" their mailbox, according to a police report. After officers arrived at the home, Boileau "made several statements of his dislike for people of Middle Eastern descent," the report said. "He also stated if he doesn't get rid of them, Trump will handle it." The police report noted that a day before, Boileau threw screws at a vehicle outside the family's house. On that day, Boileau allegedly told police, "We'll get rid of them one way or another." Boileau, 58, has since pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of trespassing, and he was sentenced to 90 days in jail.

Feb. 15, 2019: The FBI in Maryland arrested a Marine veteran and U.S. Coast Guard lieutenant, Christopher Paul Hasson, who they said was stockpiling weapons and "espoused" racist and anti-immigrant views for years as he sought to "murder innocent civilians on a scale rarely seen in this country." In court documents, prosecutors said the 49-year-old "domestic terrorist" compiled a "hit list" of prominent Democrats. Two months later, while seeking Hasson's release from jail before trial, his public defender, Elizabeth Oyer, told a federal judge: "This looks like the sort of list that our commander-in-chief might have compiled while watching Fox News in the morning. … Is it legitimately frustrating that offensive language and ideology has now become part of our national vocabulary? Yes, it is very frustrating. But … it is hard to differentiate it from the random musings of someone like Donald Trump who uses similar epithets in his everyday language and tweets." Hasson ultimately pleaded guilty to federal weapons-related charges, and he was sentenced to more than 13 years in federal prison.

Feb. 15, 2019: Police in Falmouth, Massachusetts, arrested 41-year-old Rosiane Santos after she "verbally assault[ed]" a man for wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat in a Mexican restaurant and then "violently push[ed] his head down," according to police reports. Apparently intoxicated, "she stated that [the victim] was a 'motherf----r' for supporting Trump," one of the responding officers wrote. "She also stated that he shouldn't be allowed in a Mexican restaurant with that." Santos was in the United States unlawfully, federal authorities said. Police arrested her on charges of "simple assault" and disorderly conduct. She has since admitted in local court that there are "sufficient facts" to warrant charges, and she has been placed on a form of probation.

Feb. 25, 2019: An 18-year-old student at Edmond Santa Fe High School in Edmond, Oklahoma, was captured on cellphone video "confronting a younger classmate who [was] wearing a 'Make America Great Again' hat and carrying a 'Trump' flag," according to a press release from the local school system. "The [older] student then proceeds to grab the flag and knock the hat off of his classmate's head." The 18-year-old student was charged in local court with assault and battery, according to Edmond City Attorney Steve Murdock. The student has since pleaded guilty and was placed on probation, Murdock added.

March 16, 2019: Anthony Comello, 24, of Staten Island, New York, was taken into custody for allegedly killing Francesco "Franky Boy" Cali, the reputed head of the infamous Gambino crime family. It marked the first mob boss murder in New York in 30 years, law enforcement officials told ABC News the murder may have stemmed from Comello's romantic relationship with a Cali family member. Court documents since filed in state court by Comello's defense attorney, Robert Gottlieb, said Comello suffers from mental defect and was a believer in the "conspiratorial fringe right-wing political group" QAnon. In addition, Gottlieb wrote: "Beginning with the election of President Trump in November 2016, Anthony Comello's family began to notice changes to his personality. … Mr. Comello became certain that he was enjoying the protection of President Trump himself, and that he had the president's full support. Mr. Comello grew to believe that several well-known politicians and celebrities were actually members of the Deep State, and were actively trying to bring about the destruction of America." Comello has been charged with one count of murder and two counts of criminal possession of a weapon. His trial is pending, and he has pleaded not guilty.

April 5, 2019: The FBI arrested a 55-year-old man from upstate New York for allegedly threatening to kill Rep. Ilhan Omar, D-Minn., one of the first two Muslim women elected to the U.S. Congress. She is an outspoken critic of Trump, and Trump has frequently launched public attacks against her and three other female lawmakers of color. Two weeks before his arrest, Patrick Carlineo Jr. allegedly called Omar's office in Washington labeling the congresswoman a "terrorist" and declaring: "I'll put a bullet in her f----ing skull." When an FBI agent then traced the call to Carlineo and interviewed him, Carlineo "stated that he was a patriot, that he loves the President, and that he hates radical Muslims in our government," according to the FBI agent's summary of the interview. Federal prosecutors charged Carlineo with threatening to assault and murder a United States official. He has since pleaded guilty to the charge and was sentenced to one year in prison.

April 13, 2019: 27-year-old Jovan Crawford, of Gaithersburg, Maryland, and 25-year-old Scott Roberson Washington, D.C., assaulted and robbed a black man wearing a red "Make America Great Again" hat while walking through his suburban Maryland neighborhood. Before punching and kicking him, "The two suspects harassed [the victim] about the hat and asked why he was wearing it. [The victim] told them he has his own beliefs and views," according to charging documents filed after their arrest by Montgomery County, Maryland, police. Crawford later received a text message noting that, "They jumped some trump supporter," the charging documents said. Crawford and Roberson have since pleaded guilty to assault charges. They were each sentenced to at least one year in prison.

April 18, 2019: The FBI arrested John Joseph Kless of Tamarac, Florida, for calling the Washington offices of three prominent Democrats and threatening to kill each of them. At his home, authorities found a loaded handgun in a backpack, an AR-15 rifle and hundreds of rounds of ammunition. In later pleading guilty to one charge of transmitting threats over state lines, Kless admitted that in a threatening voicemail targeting Rep. Rashida Tlaib, D-Mich., he stated: "You won't f---ing tell Americans what to say, and you definitely don't tell our president, Donald Trump, what to say." Tlaib, a vocal critic of Trump, was scheduled to speak in Florida four days later. Kless was awaiting sentencing. In a letter to the federal judge, he said he "made a very big mistake," never meant to hurt anyone, and "was way out of line with my language and attitude." Kless was sentenced to one year behind bars.

April 24, 2019: The FBI arrested 30-year-old Matthew Haviland of North Kingstown, Rhode Island, for allegedly sending a series of violent and threatening emails to a college professor in Massachusetts who publicly expressed support for abortion rights and strongly criticized Trump. In one of 28 emails sent to the professor on March 10, 2019, Haviland allegedly called the professor "pure evil" and said "all Democrats must be eradicated," insisting the country now has "a president who's taking our country in a place of more freedom rather than less." In another email the same day, Haviland allegedly wrote the professor: "I will rip every limb from your body and … I will kill every member of your family." According to court documents, Haviland's longtime friend later told the FBI that "within the last year, Haviland's views regarding abortion and politics have become more extreme … at least in part because of the way the news media portrays President Trump." Haviland has since pleaded guilty to charges of cyberstalking and transmitting a threat in interstate commerce. He is awaiting sentencing.

June 5, 2019: The FBI arrested a Utah man for allegedly calling the U.S. Capitol more than 2,000 times over several months and threatening to kill Democratic lawmakers, whom he said were "trying to destroy Trump's presidency." "I am going to take up my second amendment right, and shoot you liberals in the head," 54-year-old Scott Brian Haven allegedly stated in one of the calls on Oct. 18, 2018, according to charging documents. When an FBI agent later interviewed Haven, he "explained the phone calls were made during periods of frustration with the way Democrats were treating President Trump," the charging documents said. The FBI visit, however, didn't stop Haven from making more threats, including: On March 21, 2019, he called an unidentified U.S. senator's office to say that if Democrats refer to Trump as Hitler again he will shoot them, and two days later he called an unidentified congressman's office to say he "was going to take [the congressman] out … because he is trying to remove a duly elected President." A federal grand jury has since charged Haven with one count of transmitting a threat over state lines. Haven has since pleaded guilty to one count of transmitting a threat over state lines. He was sentenced to time served.

Aug. 3, 2019: A gunman opened fire at a Walmart in El Paso, Texas, killing 22 people and injuring 24 others. The FBI labeled the massacre an act of "domestic terrorism," and police determined that the alleged shooter, 21-year-old Patrick Crusius, posted a lengthy anti-immigrant diatribe online before the attack. "We attribute that manifesto directly to him," according to El Paso police chief Greg Allen. Describing the coming assault as "a response to the Hispanic invasion of Texas," the screed's writer said "the media" would "blame Trump's rhetoric" for the attack but insisted his anti-immigrant views "predate Trump" -- an apparent acknowledgement that at least some of his views align with some of Trump's public statements. The writer began his online essay by stating that he generally "support[s]" the previous writings of the man who killed 51 Muslim worshippers in New Zealand earlier this year. In that case, the shooter in New Zealand said he absolutely did not support Trump as "a policy maker and leader" -- but "[a]s a symbol of renewed white identity and common purpose? Sure." Crusius has been charged with capital murder by the state of Texas.

Aug. 16, 2019: The FBI arrested Eric Lin, 35, of Clarksburg, Maryland, for sending threatening and hate-filled messages over Facebook vowing to kill a Miami-area woman and “all Hispanics in Miami and other places,” as the Justice Department described it. Over two months, the woman received 150 pages’ worth of messages from Lin, the FBI said. In June 2019, Lin allegedly wrote: “In 3 short years your entire Race your entire culture will perish only then after I kill your [epithet] family will I permit you to Die by Hanging on Metal Wire.” A month later, on July 19, 2019, he allegedly wrote: “I Thank God everday President Donald John Trump is President and that he will launch a Racial War and Crusade to keep the n----rs, S---s, and Muslims and any dangerous non-White or Ethnically or Culturally Foreign group ‘In Line.’” On his Facebook account, Lin says he "Studied at Trump University," and he repeatedly praises Trump for, among other things, “fomenting racial hatred” and “Making Racism Ok Again.” At the same time, a few of his posts seem to praise Democrats and minorities. In January, Lin pleaded guilty to one count of transmitting a threatening communication. He has yet to be sentenced.

Aug. 21, 2019: Nathan Semans of Humphreys County, Tennessee, was arrested by state law enforcement for allegedly emailing a threat to a local TV station that demanded the station broadcast a certain story. “Look if you don’t run story I’m going to state capital to blow someone’s brains out,” the email stated. The email then added in part: “I don’t look good at the moment cause the tyranny of what trump did … I’m sick of this nonsense and bologna hanging around that trumps [sic] the perfect American, hallelujah against Trump.” Semans has been charged with one count of making terrorist threats, and his trial is pending. It’s unclear if he has entered an initial plea.

Oct. 7, 2019: A woman driving in Moorhead, Minnesota, called police after 27-year-old Joseph Schumacher of North Dakota allegedly rolled down his window and “began yelling at the female expressing his dislike for the political bumper sticker [she] had displayed on her car,” according to police reports. Schumacher then allegedly pointed to the “Trump Pence” bumper sticker on his own vehicle “and further expressed his difference in national political views” before “brandishing a pistol” inside his vehicle, police said. Schumacher was ultimately arrested on three misdemeanor charges, including disorderly conduct that could “reasonably arouse alarm.” He ultimately pleaded guilty to the disorderly conduct charge and a “gross misdemeanor” charge of carrying a weapon without a permit. He was sentenced to a year behind bars.

Oct. 25, 2019: The FBI arrested Jan Peter Meister of Tucson, Arizona, for threatening to kill House Intelligence Committee chairman Adam Schiff, D-California. Three weeks earlier, he left a voicemail at Schiff’s office in Washington, D.C, promising to “blow your brains out.” According to court documents filed in the case, Meister told FBI agents that “he strongly dislikes the Democrats, and feels they are to blame for the country's political issues.” In other court documents, Meister’s attorney, Bradley Roach, noted that the charge his client ultimately accepted “involves threats of injury of death against a political figure who figures very prominently in the ongoing impeachment of President Trump.” Meister has pleaded guilty to one count of threatening a U.S. official. A plea agreement with prosecutors calls for Meister to be sentenced to time already served.

Oct. 26, 2019: During a Collier County fair in Florida, a teenage girl allegedly assaulted a man dressed as Trump. “While standing in line [with my wife and stepdaughter] waiting our turn to go in to the haunted house exhibit, [she] … walked over to me and punched me in my left jaw. She laughed and ran back to her place in line,” the man told police, according a police report of the incident. The unidentified girl’s “sole motivation was to strike ‘Trump,’” and a video of the incident was posted on social media, the police report added. The girl was issued a civil citation and ordered to appear in court, according to the Collier County sheriff’s office.

Nov. 1, 2019: Clifton Blackwell, 61, of Milwaukee was arrested by local police after allegedly throwing acid on a Peruvian-American’s face and accusing him of being inside the United States illegally. Before attacking the victim outside of a Mexican restaurant, Blackwell allegedly asked the victim “Why you invade my country?” and “Why don’t you respect my laws?” The attack was captured on video by surveillance cameras, and the victim suffered second-degree burns on his face and neck. When police then searched Blackwell’s home, they found gun parts and “three letters addressed to President Donald Trump,” a police report noted. And when police interviewed an employee at a grocery store frequented by Blackwell, the employee told police that Blackwell “many times talked about his political support for President Trump,” according to a police report. “She stated she was even warned by the security guard James to not talk about political issued when [Blackwell] is in the store because of how he acts.” Blackwell was charged with first-degree reckless injury during a hate crime. He pleaded not guilty and is awaiting trial.

Nov. 6, 2019: Lawrence K. Garcia of the Albuquerque, New Mexico, area was arrested by the FBI for allegedly threatening to kill local law enforcement and bomb a U.S. bank’s offices. In a phone call to the bank, Garcia said, “If Donald J. Trump doesn’t step down by my birthday, the day after, we shall declare war against the devil. … [S]o Donald J. Trump you are going to bow to the American people,” according to charging documents filed in the case. A federal grand jury indicted Garcia on one count of communicating a threat over state lines, but he has a history of mental illness and a federal judge later determined he “is not presently competent to stand trial.” Garcia was placed into federal custody to receive treatment.

Feb. 11, 2020: Patrick Bradley, 34, of Windham, N.H., was arrested by local police for allegedly assaulting a pro-Trump teenager on the day of New Hampshire’s primary election for presidential nominees. According to police, “Bradley had exited the voting polls located inside Windham High School and was walking by a TRUMP campaign tent occupied by several campaign supporters / workers. As he passed by the tent Bradley slapped [the] 15-year old juvenile across the face. He then assaulted two other adults who attempted to intercede. Bradley was also accused of throwing TRUMP campaign signs and attempting to knock over the aforementioned tent.” Bradley was charged with three misdemeanor counts of simple assault and one count of disorderly conduct. He has pleaded not guilty and is awaiting trial.

Feb. 19, 2020: The FBI arrested Salvatore Lippa II, 57, of upstate New York for allegedly threatening to kill Sen. Charles Schumer, D-New York, the top Democrat in the Senate, and Rep. Adam Schiff, D-California, the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee. In late January, he left a voicemail at Schiff’s office in Washington, D.C., calling Schiff a “scumbag” and threatening to “put a bullet in your [expletive] forehead,” according to charging documents. Two weeks later, he allegedly left a voicemail at Schumer’s office in Albany, New York, saying “somebody wants to assassinate you.” When federal authorities confronted Lippa, he “admitted that he made the threatening calls because he was upset about the impeachment proceedings” targeting Trump. Lippa has been charged with threatening to kill a U.S. official and is currently engaged in plea negotiations with the government, according to court records.

April 30, 2020: A Pennsylvania man who fled Cuba nearly two decades ago, Alazo Alexander, allegedly opened fire on the Cuban embassy in Washington, D.C. When police officers first arrested Alexander, he was holding an American flag and yelling nonsensical statements, according to charging documents filed in the case. He had also unsuccessfully tried to burn a Cuban flag that had several phrases written on it, including, “Trump 2020.” After his arrest, Alexander told authorities he had heard voices in his head and believed certain Cubans were trying to kill him, so he “wanted to get them before they got him,” the charging documents said. His wife later told authorities that Garcia was previously diagnosed with a delusional disorder. Garcia has been charged with three firearms-related offenses, including one count of using a deadly weapon to attack a foreign official. It’s unclear if he’s entered an initial plea.

January 6th, 2021

No way in hell am I reading this entire thing but the fact that you started with a crime committed by some random guys and are trying to blame Trump for it because he holds a very common position on illegal immigration that neither promotes or encourages violence because some crazy person allegedly used it as a justification for beating someone up and ended with January 6 as if it was some incredibly horrible ordeal that Trump is somehow responsible for because he encouraged people to protest peacefully implies this entire message is bullshit you're trying to blame on Trump that he actually has nothing to do with.

[doppelganger-ana]

My disability just got cancelled as of September 1st and I’m scared shitless and sad af. I gave my doctor the paperwork to update it and she disability said they never got sent it. Now it’s cancelled and I’m close to going homeless again.

[hwangsies]

[10:24 pm]

johnny suh × female reader

warnings: a little angst, mentions of infidelity & heartbreak, johnny is whipped af, smut as in: fingering, unprotected piv, finger sucking, dom!johnny, begging, spit, some hairpulling, praise kink, size kink (cmon its johnny)

2.1 k words,

enjoy <3

-

You sigh and give up when the window you're trying to close doesnt move.

Three knocks on your door have you whipping around "yea?"

In comes johnny "hey, i just wanted to check on you"

You breathe "i cant get this window to close, i think its broken" you mumble.

"oh, no its always like this, hold up" he walks over to you, placing one hand on the window handle and the other on its frame before harshly pushing it close.

"there" he grunts, you gulp when sneaking a peek of his arms where his shirt has ridden up "now you dont have to sleep in the cold" he chuckles.

"thank you" you mumble as you walk over to your bed for now.

"you okay?" he frowns when you sit down on the edge of the bed.

"yea just-thanks again for letting me crash here, now that i'm kinda homeless" you chuckle ironically.

Your ex had kicked you out after finding out you did to him what he did to you, cheat.

You know it wasnt the right way to deal with it, but it just happened.

So naturally you had to bother your cousin, jaehyun, the only relative who lives close to you, if you could crash at his dorm for a few nights.

"of course y/n" johnny sits down next to you "we're all here to help if you need anything" one of his large hands finds your knee and you look up at him.

"did you come here just to check up on me?" you ask carefully, not wanting to scare him off.

The tall man sighs and runs a hand through his brown locks "i mean, we havent really talked since...you know" he gestures "and know he broke up with you because of it, and i just fee-"

"dont finish that sentence" you cut him off, locking eyes with him "he cheated on me first, and i know i shouldnt have been this petty, but you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. its my fault, not yours"

"okay" he mumbles, nodding slowly.

"you didnt tell jaehyun? right?" you inquire.

He laughs "are you kidding? He would kill me" johnny shakes his head "i'm his best friend, i'm not supposed to seduce his little cousin"

"okay first of all, i'm not that little, and second of all i seduced you big boy" you joke lightheartedly, at which he scoffs gently.

Johnny was always a good friend who you just saw as another older cousin like jaehyun. But then that one night, a couple nights ago, arose and you were drunk and he looked so good.

And he was so kind and listened to your worries, even when you were probably slurring most of them.

Johnny himself didnt mean to get caught in this dilemma, he had driven you home after a long night of drinking on your end.

But when he brought you up to your apartment that you shared with your now ex, who was out that night; probably doing worse stuff that you, and you practically threw yourself at him, he couldnt tell right from wrong.

Not when in comes to you.

You deserve someone better than that, was what johnny thought, he still thinks.

Your words that made him stay the night are still ringing in his head.

'every girl would be lucky to have someone like you'

'I wish i had someone like you'

'johnny, i need you'

"johnny" you speak again.

"yea?" he gets ripped out of his daydream and looks at you, god even when you've been crying you look beautiful.

He wishes you could tell you that.

"can you hold me?" you ask sheepishly.

"just for a few minutes...please?" you add when he hesitates.

Johnny looks over at the closed door before looking at you again, you blink at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, slightly sucking your plump bottom lips in between your teeth.

Everyone had already gone to bed, but he's still aware of the fact that your cousins room is right above the spare room, the both of you are currently in.

"yea, of course" he quietly agrees.

Once laid down, he spoons you from behind, tucking you into the blanket.

He's trying not to think about the smell of your shampoo, thats clouding his loungs, or how small you are in his hold, or how much he wants to intertwine his fingers with your smaller ones.

"johnny?" you speak softly after some time, as if not to startle him.

"yes?" he mumbles just as carefully.

You inhale deeply before turning around to face him.

"hi" he smiles softly, with gentle eyes.

You mom always told to to fall in love with someone with gentle eyes, you never knew what that looked like until you looked into his.

"hi" you say back before slightly clearing your throat"i meant what i said that night"

"what excactly?" he asks "you said alot of things i didnt think you'd remember the next day"

You huff in a smile as you shuffle closer to him, he smells like his cologne and dry cleaning.

Its familiar and you feel safe, always.

"that i wish i had someone like you, and that i need you" you repeat your words from said night.

Johnny sucks in a breath "y/n"

"please" you lock eyes "i want you" you cradle one of his cheels in your hand.

"you're vulnerable and it would be wrong of-"

"but its doesnt feel wrong!" you interrupt him "does it?"

"no" johnny breathes out before he can think, which you take as your sign to press your lips to his, in almost the same desperate way as you did a couple nights ago.

He doesnt hesitate to part the seam of your lips with his tongue before sitting up in between you legs without breaking the kiss.

Quickly, you push yourself up a little to take off his shirt.

You mewl when his hand rubs you over your shorts and he kisses your neck, running your hands up his ripped torso.

"gotta be quiet baby girl" he whispers into the skin below your ear before sitting up.

"can you do that for me?" he asks while pulling off your shorts.

"can you be quiet for me?" you raise your hips as you nod at his request, him pulling off your panties as well.

"good girl" he praises, dropping a kiss to your knee. Your wet pussy awaiting him, already glistening in the dimmed lights.

"fuck" he groans when slowly sliding one digit through your folds.

A soft gasp tumbles from your lips and your toes curl.

Hooking your right leg over his shoulder, he gently pushes one of his long fingers into you.

Your back arches when he rubs your clit with his thumb before adding a second.

"that feels so good" you moan, gently rocking your hips.

"yea?" he grins, slightly scissoring his fingers to stretch you out for his cock.

His other hand travelling up your sweater and palming your breasts as he thrusts his fimgers into you at the perfect angle.

"johnny-fuck" you groan when the flicks on your clit increse in speed.

"gonna cum, baby?" he mumbles, dick straining against his sweatpants.

"yes-oh!" you moan out, at which johnny moves his hand away from your breast to hold onto your jaw.

"shhh baby" he grits through his teeth before pushing two of his fingers into your warm mouth.

You instantly moan around the digits, feeling your high approach rapidly.

"cum for me pretty baby"

One of your hands is pulling at the sheets while the other is holding onto johnnys forearm for dear life when you cum.

Your eyes screwing shut as your body thrashes with pleasure, white blooming behind your lids as he rides you through it.

"thats it, good girl" he gently massages your walls while you're still sucking on his fingers.

Johnny retreats both sets of fingers out of you, to pull you up into a stitting position.

You moan against him when he kisses you deeply.

Nimble fingers making their way to the hem of your oversized sweatshirt and stripping you of it when he breaks the kiss.

Pushing you down on your back again, his plump lips attach to your left nipple at which you moan softly.

"johnny, please" you whimper.

"mmh" his lips move to your neck, licking and kissing the sensitive skin there.

"I love it when you beg for me baby girl" he grins against your skin before pulling away to rid himself of his pants.

"sound so pretty saying my name like that" he mumbles before getting a good grip on your hips and flipping you over with zero to no effort.

You squeal when his hands pull up your hips, instinctively you prop up on your hands to see what he's doing, but he pushes your torso down again.

"fuck me, please" you whimper when he spreads your cheeks to get a good look at your sex.

"goddamm" you hear him curse before an obscene spit noice fills the room and you feel it splatter against your pussy.

You clench around nothing, which he sees and chuckles at before dipping his head and licking a flat stripe from your clit up to your opening.

"fuck-" your body jolts a little "please , john- fuck me"

"hmm, as you wish, love" your hole flutter once more at the petname before he pushes in carefully.

A groan tears from your throat, but you're quick enough to muffle it with the pillow.

"fucking hell- tight little pussy is not gonna fit all of me" he grunts as he spreads your ass cheeks again to see how tightly your walls are hugging him.

"more, please" you beg once more and he pushes inside of you all the way before quickly bottoming out.

"fuck" his voice is shaky and you feel a sense of pride come over you.

He picks up a good pace, his girth and lenght filling you up to the brim and hitting your spot with every stroke.

You moan and whimper into the pillow as johnny snaps his hips into you with an iron grip on your hips.

He feels the way you clench around him "you close baby?" he moans.

You lift your head to let out an affirmative whimper before he gathers some of your hair in one of his hands and tugs at the roots.

A whine leaves your lips before a second hand comes down to your breast and pulls your torso up and flush against his.

The arch in your back is uncomfortable but you barely feel it by the way he's fucking into you.

His hand leaves your hair in favour to cover your mouth, pressing the back of your head to his shoulder, when you yelp out at a paticular harsh thrust.

"come on baby, i know you're almost there" he rasps into your ear, the hand on your breats leaving in favor for your clit.

You groan into his hand when the pads of his fingers move over the sensitive nub at a fast pace.

You hold onto johnnys bulging biceps when you feel like you're about to explode.

"cream all over my cock baby girl, come on" his words send you spiralling into your second high of the night.

Your cries of pleasure get muffled by his hands, you feel your thighs trembling and ready to give out but he holds you up.

The overstimulation stets in and you jolt, pressing on his hand to move away from your clit.

The hand on your mouth moves as well before he bottoms out and flips you on your back again.

He looks sweaty but divine, muscles glistening in the faint lighting and some hair sticking to his forehead.

"wont last long anymore baby" he pulls you down slightly before pushing inside of you again.

You whimper and grab him by the neck, pulling him down to connect your lips as you wrap your legs around his waist.

His thrusts get sloppy as you kiss at his neck.

"cum in me, please johnny" you moan quietly into his ear, holding on to his shoulders.

His name on your lips makes him loose his composure, spilling his seed into you with a hiss and burying his face into your neck.

"i love you" he chants breathlessly before he realises that he's actually saying it out loud and not just thinking it.

Your body freezes when you hear his sweet confession.

"you do?"

-

a/n: turned a little more mushy than i had intended but oh well.

also not proofread yet, soz🤫

[laalaaangel]

All BFU Episodes sorted into categories + additional comments by ✨me✨

Disclaimer: I’m a Shaniac, but i still get scared because i don‘t like darkness. I also think the Spirit Box is baloney.

So basically I sorted all Buzzfeed Unsolved episodes (with Ryan and Shane) into categories by how scary/depressing they are. I didn't know where to put some of them, so maybe this won’t make any sense to some of you. It is entirely subjective.

The additional comments are either thoughts I had while watching the episodes or what I actually think about the case btw.

To celebrate the show, Ryan and Shane, i had spaghetti and an apple (i couldn‘t actually make apple taters unfortunately) while watching the series finale.

Well, let’s get this started, shall we?

The creepiest episodes, I only watch these when i have a lot of light around me and it’s daytime

Annelise Michel: Very creepy, very depressing as well since she didn’t get the treatment she needed, the recordings sent a shiver down my spine, maybe i’d be less creeped out if it wasn’t for how she knew details about this valentin fleischmann dude 

3 Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons: Winchester House isn’t really scary but i hate dolls so the Island of the Dolls was a big no for me, the Sallie House remains one of the scariest places they’ve visited

Waverly Hills Hospital: The body chute is pretty much the creepiest place they’ve ever visited, also i feel sorry for the homeless man and the dog. The idea of ghost children creeps me out.

Keddie Cabin: Pretty much the creepiest True Crime Case of the Series, there‘s just something about woods, cabins and knives, also it really seems like the whole town was just… in on it? It‘s weird and disturbing (and why the fuck did they demolish the fucking crime scene when the case is still being worked on today i don‘t get it)

Eastern State Penitentiary: In terms of evidence this episode is definitely one of the most compelling ones. I still don‘t believe in ghosts tho.

Hannah Williams: Shane looks so done with everything lmao. This is one of my fav episodes, so many good moments but i always get really creeped out. It’s really admirable how brave Ryan got.

Old City Jail: Hands down, this is one of the best episodes imo but that evidence isn’t compelling at all to me. Ryans manical mental breakdown is the scariest thing about this episode.

Conjuring House: Those fucking dolls i swear to god, one day imma die of a heart attack when watching these. Shane is above the devil confirmed! I absolutely DETEST the placing of the fucking mannequin this season... i did not just witness them pretending to be cats💀 i‘m ngl this episodes i really creepy af- SHANE DRANK THE FUCKING HOLY WATER! ok but honestly even without the « it’s haunted » bs who would willingly live on this farm?

Pythian Castle: I actually think this castle is really nice tbh. APPLE TATER IT SAID APPLE TATER!!! ... i didn‘t hear spaghetti tbh but i love seeing them so excited. oh PLEASE let Shane destroy the spirit box at the end of the series! 

Sallie House: „who knows“ Shaneee I'm surprised!😲 Well five minutes in and ryan is already going mad, I wouldn't have expected anything else. The scariest thing about this place is the ugly kitchen interior tbh. That animated bit of the little girl turning into this ugly whatever this is gonna haunt me in my nightmares and the reason why this episode is in this category. I swear Father Thomas looks like one of my old teachers! They ARE the best ghost hunters to ever live! ...imagine walking past the house, not knowing they‘re filming and hearing Ryans laugh...YES SHANE DESTROY THE SPIRIT SHIT BOX! Ryan stop making me cry😭 A DOCUMENTARY AIRS ON NOVEMBER 24TH???

I definitely wouldn’t watch these at night because they’re either scary (but not the scariest) or depress me too much

Queen Mary

Whaley House

Bobby Mackey’s

Lizzie Borden: Yeah i can’t believe people wrote fanfics about them but the conspiracy theory does make sense in a way I guess, also the pics of the corpses are gruesome and not something I ever wished to see.

Dauphine Orleans Hotel: The drawing of the lost bride haunts me in my dreams, otherwise this episode would be in another category.

Voodoo World of New Orleans: fucking DOLLS again

Axeman of New Orleans: Yeah no one wants to get murdered with an axe and the idea of this dude is creepy as hell even if he’s incapable of actually killing all of his victims like how hard can it be to murder someone with an axe when they’re asleep

Murder in Room 1046: Very strange case, creepy to imagine, also the birth episode of Ricky Goldsworth! I think the Mafia did it but yeah, overall just a very creepy case.

Vulture Mine: If it weren‘t for the school building scene then this would be one category below because… glory hole

Goatmans Bridge: Goatman and the bridge don‘t scare me but the idea of cultists in woods does. Definitely one of my fav episodes, if not my favourite, a lot of iconic moments in this one

Pennhurst Asylum: Shane being Shane keeps this episode from joining the scariest category. And no front to Ryan but the audio recorder „evidence“ is the absolute least compelling ghost evidence i‘ve ever heard lmao (this is also the first BFU supernatural episode i‘ve ever watched)

Roanoke Colony: Look it‘s really just the moving mannequin, i could not watch that at night at all, the episode itself isn’t that creepy. Mainly because two of Ryans theories were aliens and zombies.

London Tombs: ...Shane predicted the pandemic💀 I know I said it already but dolls are just creepy as fuck but it‘s funny bc they‘re essentially just yelling at toys. Scary is maybe not the right word to describe this episode but it certainly is disturbing.

Jack the Ripper: I feel like it was either Barnett or an unknown police officer, but to quote Shane: „let it be a mystery“.

Cleveland Torso Murders: Gruesome, but the real mystery here is which beheaded british royal Ryan was referring to (I love history ok) because there are several that would qualify (and no it can‘t be Anne Boleyn, i think he was referring to Mary, Queen of Scots)

Texarkana Phantom Killer: i hate this case, i feel like this dude just got away with it and i hate it

Jamison Family: woods again and I think the reenactment is creepy as hell

Rolling Hills Asylum: I don’t believe in ghosts but i like to think that if they were real, the ghoul boys made Roy really happy by playing opera music

Bellaire House: “Spaghetti” “Apple Tater”

Ohio State Penitentiary: I absolutely love Shane in this episode and i love Ryan forgetting the spirit box and having to go back after insulting the air ghosts on his way out

Moon River Brewing: „His mind is his own worst enemy. And it‘s my greatest Ally.“ <- Demon Shane really came out here. This place is so so not haunted lmao i almost always feel like they‘re talking to air but this time it was just so clear like… but i hate it when they edit the eyes of anything red, it‘s so creepy, especially when you‘re half asleep when watching it (Note after watching the Houdini episode: i wrote that it wasn‘t haunted before Ryan said that it isn‘t so my guts were right haha)

Sorrel-Weed Haunted Mansion: What a shame Ryans camera didn’t actually catch anything but darkness, i love how the suspense music just leads up to absolutely nothing.

Black Dahlia Murder Revisited: This case makes me physically sick, George Hodel is definitely guilty, i fucking hate this dude and the fact that he was able to live his life after all the shit he did

Annabelle the Doll: I fucking hate dolls- Ryan: basically you just have to respect her *cut to shane* i will say, i do not respect you💀 one of my absolute favourite BFU scenes ever

St. Augustine Lighthouse: “not to say he’s like my daddy or something… “ is Ryan aware that some people write fanfics about them lol

USS Yorktown: is Shane having an existential crisis? Also am i the only one who doesn’t see shit? Like where does Ryan see a shadowy figure please I really want to see it

Villisca Ax Murder House: Being murdered like that is like one of my biggest fears ngl. I’m kinda surprised Ryan doesn’t believe in unicorns and Shane reaction to that is exactly the same as mine! Also if Shane actually checks every room before he goes to sleep to make Sara feel safe that’s so adorable!

Loey Lane: I love Loeys collection of Minnie Mouse ears! Shane acting possessed gets me every time... Shane teaching Ryan how to floss💀

Farnsworth House Inn: I am SO here for them insulting confederate ghosts! I can’t with them trying to be babies😂 Well if it wasn’t haunted before… Shane might have made it haunted tbh. Also manic Ryan is back.

Morris-Jumel Mansion: …how is that one of their best pieces of evidence😭 there are literally several possible explanations as to what could have caused the whistling sounds before it‘s a ghost 

A bit scary and/or depressing, i wouldn’t watch these at night 

OJ Simpson: Just depressing, i personally think OJ did it and got away with it and it’s a prime example of how everything that could’ve gone wrong in the process went wrong, in every aspect.

Illuminati: I  don’t believe in it but the idea is creepy.

Michelle von Emster: That poem is a fucking atrocity and drowning is one of my biggest fears.

Sodder Children: Sad as fuck, the salesman dude was definitely in on it, i hope the family and children found peace.

Salem Witch Trials: The misogyny of this time period makes me furious ngl

Boy in the Box: It’s not really creepy (well the picture of the boy kinda is) but i feel so sorry for the boy.

JonBenét Ramsey: Sad case. It’s sick how many old men were obsessed with her. I think it was the brother btw, he accidentally killed her and the family covered it up. But then again this episode also brought us the “i’ve connected the dots” meme. Oh and it‘s the first BFU episode i‘ve ever watched btw

Colchester Castle

William Desmond Taylor: The reenactment is kinda creepy ngl but  we have the most iconic Ricky Goldsworth appearance in this episode!

Louis Le Prince: Thomas Edinson sucks this guy is guilty as fuck, if not of murder then of being a terrible human being and a thief. Very sad case.

Villa Montezuma Mansion: ...but did he poop himself?

Collar Bomb Bank Robbery: i hate  e v e r y t h i n g  about this case

Bobby Dunbar: I feel bad for Julia Anderson, strange  that they didn‘t compare the DNA to an Anderson DNA sample as well

Winchester Mansion Revisited: I love the flashbacks to the first episode, Shane is such a mood in this episode lol

Mission Solano: The alarm going off will never not be funny💀 i love Shane in this episode so much

Yuma Territorial Prison: Shane really isn‘t having it with the ghosts this season lol also what do you mean you shut the terrified part of your brain off like how😀

Town of Tombstone: „It has been an honor to meet you, sir“ „HORSESHOES“ Shane you are KILLING me💀 can I just say that I think this episode is criminally underrated

The Watcher: Shane and me have a similar way of thinking, two seconds after i thought the whole neighbourhood could be in on it like in Hot Fuzz Shane  mentions it lmao also i wonder what Ryans dad thinks about the running gag of him cutting someones head off and yes Ryan, i‘d be scared too if i saw your face smiling like that in my window

Florida Machete Murder: Being murdered like that is one of my biggest fears, this is the episode Ryan realised that Shane is a demon

Walter Collins: The  movie based on this case is really good, fucked a bit with my mind though (it’s called Changeling!) anyways FUCK JJ Jones and the police and FUCK Gordon Northcott, that guy can rot in hell

Viper Room: That is not how you pronounce Schwarzenegger, Ryan. Am i the only one who wants to go clubbing there? "now i’m in your hole”Ryan honestly💀 Shane is really on a new level of done with ghost hunting in this season lol

Thelma Todd: she sounds so cool i would love to be able to talk to her and i HATE to say it but Lucky Luciano could get it

Who put Bella in the Whych Elm?: Ryans lack of science knowledge is the scariest part about this episode although the story is creepy

Marilyn and Sam Sheppard: good movie.

Flannan Isles Lighthouse Keepers: their scottish accent💀 I just know that Ryan only mentioned the aliens to annoy Shane... isn’t there a Brothers Grimm tale about men turning into birds? 

Cynthia Anderson: I just feel so bad for her, i hope she just ran away (like what if she ran away and left that particular page in the book open to suggest otherwise?)

Mary Celeste: I just love the music they used in this episode. Shane is right, why feminize a ship like even in german it‘s neutral and not female (das schiff, das boot…)! Shanes impression of a german pirate💀 „or it‘s a zooboat and the monkeys got out“ literally what?- I just love it when Ryan starts with the aliens and then doesn‘t elaborate. I don‘t like this case it‘s so fucking weird

Princess Diana: I‘m not even into the british royal family but i love Diana, she seemed really nice and i hope she‘s in a better place now. „Princess Dianas future husband“ the shade💀Honestly Charles is just a walking red flag

Not extremely scary but I wouldn't watch these at night

Gloria Ramirez: The only thing that spooked me a little bit is how affected the staff seemed to be.

Mary Reeser: The possibility of dying like that is unsettling.

3 Cases of Ancient Aliens

Bizzarre Road Trip of a Missing Family

Amelia Earhart: “Let me spin you a yarn that you shan‘t soon forget. i‘m being eaten alive by crabs right now.”

Natalie Wood: Drowning is a fear of mine as well. I don’t know what to think of this case, my guts say Wagner is guilty but my head says it was probably just a very unfortunate accident since they were all drunk as fuck. Also Shoutout to Dr. Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran.

Poisoned Pill Murders: new fear unlocked

3 Cases of Alien Abduction

Viaduct Tavern: Shanes laughing fit at the execution breakfast is really relatable, I think it’s great.

Isdal Woman: Yeah my brother almost killed me when i watched this; he opened my closed door very quietly and just stared at me through the small space between door and wall until i noticed. I almost had a heart attack

Mothman: I mean a good chunk of this video is them being tourists and screeching like possessed people, it’s iconic

Phoenix Lights Phenomenon

Jimmy Hoffa: I think Sheeran killed Hoffa… maybe i should finally watch The Irishman but it’s so looooong!

Eight Day Bride: I love Shane saying „heteronormative bullshit“ and him thinking like Christina in the beginning, this is one of my fav episodes

Poisoning of an Ex-Russian Spy: I constantly switched between „what‘s wrong with Shane“ and „Shane is a mood“ during those 21 minutes

Charles C. Morgan: The Hot Daga finally made it into the main show! Also the police is sus af

Reykjavík Confessions: Almost missed this one bc it‘s not in the all episodes playlist smh i should start watching them by seasons, I don’t even know which episode belongs to which season tbh. Anyway, i don‘t like this case one bit.

Australian Shark Arm Murders: Did anyone count the puns? The shark is the real victim here. I love australian Shane ngl

Bugsy Siegel: Love me some unsolved mob cases. Did you know that the character of Moe Greene in “The Godfather” was inspired by Bugsy Siegel?

Vincent Van Gogh: I really just feel bad for him tbh, i adore his art style.

Dorothy Arnold: YOU’RE MY FRIEND but make it threatening. No but Shane wanting to go to Antarctica is actually a mood! THE JOHN GALVIN STORY💀

Edgar Allan Poe: I feel a little bit sorry for him, i’d feel more sorry if he didn’t marry his 13 year old cousin

Lady of the Dunes: WHAT DO U MEAN YOU DON’T LIKE DOGS SHANE and damn yes we on tumblr are supportive as hell of your show

Somerton Man Revisited: Well now, if i ever have children, i’ll make them believe i’m a spy. All jokes aside tho i’d love to see this case get solved but then again which case wouldn't we like to see get solved

Harry Houdini: Damn i would‘ve loved to see him perform live!

George Reeves: Yeah i actually hope Shane and Ryan won’t ever do cameo bc cameo kinda weirds me out tbh (don’t come at me pls) but hey! as long as everyone is happy. Every time Ryan mentions his katana it adds ten years to my life span. This is a strange case and i doubt it was suicide tbh

Monster with 21 Faces: Look i‘m not rooting for then but i love the police bashing

Judge Joseph F. Crater: „I’ve never worn a bow tie, i will never wear a bow tie“ Shane your twitter profile pic used to be you wearing a bow tie

Alfred Loewenstein: wait that Brussel sprout pun was actually funny😭It must‘ve been murder, i‘m 99% sure! Shane why, aliens really 😶

I’d probably be able to watch this late at night (but that doesn’t mean i would try)

DB Cooper: iconic episode, interesting and also kinda funny case we all know Loki is DB Cooper

Bigfoot

Bermuda Triangle: atlantis go brrrrr aReA 51

JFK: I mean, it‘s just really not a creepy episode and we all know governments and such are sus af

Roswell‘s Bizzare UFO Crash

Legend of Krampus: lol yes i included this, i love the references to other cases

Gardner Museum Heist

Killing of Ken Rec McElroy: fuck this guy, this episode is so satisfying

Alcatraz Prison Break: i love this one because the plan is just so good and possibly no one got hurt? idk i like to imagine they made it

Treasure Hunt of Forrest Fenn: I envy Forrest Fenn, i love history and archaeology but tbh I have to agree with Shane, it is stealing (unless it was fairly traded or paid for), love how Shane is ready to fight the lawyer lol he‘s so enthusiastic about all of this, i love the research montage, the way Shane looked at Ryan when he came out in the Indiana Jones outfit, i just love this episode so much

3 Videos from the Pentagon‘s Secret UFO Program: Honestly if more people were like Shane we‘d have a lot less problems in the world. „there are people crazier than me-„ are you sure about that Ryan

Hidden Secrets of Area 51: Ryan really likes touching his nipples apparently. What in the anarchy is Shanes thought process like, i’d love to know- licking the case file😭

Pink Panthers: They kinda remind me of the La Casa de Papel gang tbh

Agatha Christie: well now i wanna reread murder on the orient express

Unsolved Almost 70th Episode Retrospective:

Jack the Ripper is a pretty good episode but i don‘t think i‘d place it in my top five

i love the deleted bits so much

agreed, Waverly is one of the, if not THE creepiest place they‘ve visited

oh yes DB Cooper would definitely be in my top five (now even more after watching Loki)

oh here we go top five evidence…

hmm yeah i liked the dog but i‘ll only believe in ghosts if i see a full body apparition in front of me when i‘m in a normal state of mind

nah the spirit box just doesn‘t do it for me

the footsteps? really?

the ball was coincidence imo but imma give them that: it was creepy

not the flashlights- ryan the diagram doesn‘t help you lmao

i have to be honest: i haven‘t watched the episodes with Brent

Waverly is a great episode, probably also in my top five (at least if it‘s only supernatural)

FATHER THOMASSSSSS! he sounds like a disappointed dad

Goatman episode is definitely in my top five

First episode it’s understandable that this is in the fans favourite, i love it too but i‘m not sure if it would be in my top five, top ten yeah, but top five? idk

it‘s weird seeing this last scene in a pandemic

Well it‘s been a ride. I haven‘t been part of their journey since the beginning unfortunately, but i got into Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2018, so i‘m not a complete newbie either. This show got me through a time when i wasn‘t doing well mentally and i can‘t thank Ryan, Shane and everyone who was involved in the making of Buzzfeed Unsolved enough for this. It’s truly the end of an era. Ryan & Shane, i‘ll see you on Watcher! @wearewatcher

And to answer the question „Are ghosts real?“ …i‘m still gonna have to go with no. But since my opinion on this isn‘t the only one that matters, the question will remain… Unsolved.

[kisafavi-17]

Jack:

- football star

- quarterback

- friends with newsies in middle school

- HELLA TALL

- openly bisexual

- he/him

- seems scary but is really nice

- had a small fling with sarah

- RED BULLLL

- average student

- creator of blog

- junior in high school

- just turned 17 in february

- teachers love him

- massive flirt

- loves horror movies and will put them on to have background noise

- HIS REAL NAME IS JACKSON BUT CALL HIM THAT AND HE WILL END YOU

- lives with medda

David:

- straight A+

- honor roll gate kid

- taking 5 AP classes

- gay and on the ace spectrum

- major social anxiety

- new kid

- met jack first

- closeted/didn’t know

- tutor to most newsies

- has a older sister sarah (by 1 year) and younger brother les (10 years old)

- he/they?

- editor of the blog (once joined)

- mentally ill

- scared of spot

- sophomore taking junior classes

- 15 years

- reads romantic novels to understand women

- has feminine products on him at all times

- FEMINIST

- has sensory issues

Race:

- pothead

- always has nic of some kind

- TRAUMAAAAAA

- always horny

- flirts with all

- attracted to few

- very openly gay

- gets bullied a lot

- on-scene reporter for the school news blog

- barely passing

- he/they/she (doesn’t care really)

- swears A LOT

- met spot in 4th grade

- sophomore (got held back a year) 16 years old

- is down for anything

- lives with jack at medda’s

- is the meme lord

- does. not. sleep. (or sleeps all the time no in between)

- has dyslexia and reads wattpad or redit

Spot:

- either really rich or really poor

* Rich:

- daddy’s money

- old family friends with jack

- arranges interviews with people for the blog

- on baseball team

- picks on boys

- REFUSES TO MAKE FUN OF GIRLS

- lowkey feminist

- internalized homophobia

- drives a porsche… a BRIGHT RED porsche

- he/him (says nor/mal like a douche tho)

- HELLA DEPRESSED

- takes “performance enhancing” pills

- secretly hangs out with the newsies

- junior but really young

- david is his tutor

- lowkey really dumb

- refuses to read anything. ever

- IS NOT FUCKING SHORT!!!

- he’s like 5’10 (says hes 6’0 tho)

- real name is thomas

* Poor:

- TRAUMATIZED AFFFFF

- wears zip-up hoodies with black skinny jeans

- beat up black vans

- emo

- also a really young junior

- hot topic is his ✨home✨

- everyone is scared of him

- the “quiet kid”

- he/him

- closeted bi pref men

- race is his only friend

- occasionally smokes weed

- oldest sibling of 3 (twins one of each. 5th grade)

- has a job no one knows about

- works as a waiter at a dinner an hour from school

- IS. NOT. SHORT.

- HE. IS. LIKE. 5’11.

- gets into fights and never looses

- secretly simping for race

- protects the newsies

- writes anonymous articles for blog

- ✨black eyeliner✨

- always has painted fingernails

- B+ average

- real name is sean

Sarah:

- book worm

- LESBIAN

- she/they

- loves the book worms

- reads anything and everything

- does photography for school blog

- definitely does theater/choir

- owns wattpad

- writes on wattpad

- definitely simping for fictional characters

- has tried a vape once

- lightweight

- tall

- like 5’8.5

- mamma mia fangirl

- loves DC movies

- has every girl/boy crushing over her

- therapist friend

- always has everything you need somehow

- met jack at a party

- doesn’t allow ANYONE to pick on david along with jack

- cottage gore ascetic

- loves disney

- drives a blue subaru

- is on the high school dance team

- hates the term “UwU”

- is a 16 year old junior

Blink:

- on football team

- still has eyepatch but no one cares

- gayyyy

- dating mush

- PDA

- funny af

- is a really old sophomore

- 16 years old (a january baby)

- camera man for race for blog

- besties are bumlets, mush, and jack

- only one without family trauma

- has twin sister

- has the funniest laugh ever

- volunteers at homeless shelters

- cinnamon roll🥺

- real name is dylan

- hornyyyyy

- has smexy pics on snap

- harry potter fan

- griffindor

- TWITTER WARS

- starts beef for no reason

- watches horror to freak mush out

- it works

Mush:

- hates horror movies

- is dating blink

- is on the wrestling and dance team

- people tease him for being on the dance team

- 15 year olds sophomore

- wants to be a veterinarian

- owns a chicken for some reason

- no one knows how he got a chicken

- chickens name is Kentucky (hehe)

- is a cinnamon roll 🥺

- body dysmorphia

- has eating disorder

- nicknamed sunshine (brought to you by blink)

- has braces

- has mainly girl friends and everyone thinks he’s dating them

- he/him

- pansexual

- civil rights activist

- hates when blink gets hurt

- is a crackhead some times

- is a vegetarian

- works lighting for blog interviews and reports

- PDA is not his thing but he doesn’t mind it

- BOTTOM WHO LOOKS LIKE A TOP

- people think he’s a crybaby when in reality, he rarely cries

- loves disneyland and disney in general

- friends with everyone

- is the matchmaker

- cuddle bug with blink

- mostly C’s and B’s on his report card

- real name is aaron (hehe)

- is a romantic so… mush

Bumlets:

- emo vibes

- on dance team

- is secretly good at soccer

- gamer boi

- has only been in one long term relationship

- is broken hearted

- keeps to himself

- they/he

- pansexual

- had a crush on blink for a bit

- has crushed on every newsie at least once

- is pretty chill

- 15 year old sophomore

- currently single

- taking AP classes with david

- is like really smart

- reads AO3

- doesn’t like wattpad

- plays CoD and halo

- rages when he games

- LOVES GRILLED CHEESE

- scary dog privilege (owns a pit bull)

- pit bulls name is kiara

- knows how to ballroom dance

- romantic boi

- doesn’t open up easily

- knows how mush got his chicken

- friends with poor spot

- is a writer for blog because he can actually spell

- real name is lucas

- has depression hence “bumlets”

- surprisingly really strong

- ✨flexible✨

Skittery:

- one of the oldest newsies (terms of joining)

- only talks to bumlets and jack

- doesn’t like david to much

- has a RBF

- is 16 (turns 17 in august)

- is a junior

- smokes cigarettes

- doesn’t have social media

- is on the varsity water polo team

- ✨rings galore✨

- tries to be cool

- has 2 cats

- cats are cheesy and monica

- has an older brother in college

- works at 7 11

- is not looking for a relationship

- he/him

- straight ally

- tried being gay but didn’t work out

- drinks white wine

- always stressed

- decent student

- A- average

- friends with all the coaches

- headphones are his lifesaver

- is a very numb human

- always has cold skin for some reason

- even in like 100 degree weather he is still cold to the touch

- had facebook then deleted it because hack found his account and spammed it

- historical fiction type of dude

- is the one who finds all of the info to give to writers/reporters for blog

- loves bumlets dog

- drives a toyota prius

- real name is jefferson

- no one but jack knows how he got the name skittery

Crutchie:

- was in a car accident

- real name is charles

- has social anxiety and dyslexia

- should get picked on but jack doesn’t let that happen

- soft boi

- technically isn’t a newsie but shows up to the meetings

- is a emotional support teddy bear

- is the assistant director for the school plays

- best friends are jack, sarah, and mush

- only has instagram

- terrified of heights

- occasionally sleeps over at meddas

- adults love this child

- they/them

- gay

- loves disney

- knows the entire hunchback of notre dame movie by heart

- is 14 years old

- freshman. the only freshman newsie

- child of the group

- goes to all of his friends game or competitions to cheer them on

- is really short

- like REALLY SHORT

- says “rawr” a lot

Medda:

- jack and races mother

- (A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS WITH GENTLE HANDS AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTERRRR IMMA SURVIVOR)

- is a voice actress

- has been in disney films

- “if you’re going to drink id rather you do it in the house” mentality

- hates the idea of nicotine

- on the PTA

- has annual passes to disneyland

- loves all the newsies

- wants to adopt poor spot

- is in her late 30s to early 40s

- she/her

- straight… kind of

- she says she’s straight but by definition she’s pan

- civil rights activist

- has an ACAB sticker on her car

- PRIDE FLAGS EVERYWHERE

- if the sexuality/gender exists in the lgbtq+ community, she has their flag

- likes gardening

- will never use the wrong pronouns

- doesn’t really eat at chain restaurants

- not afraid to kill someone who hurts one of the newsies

- i’m serious

- she’s tried

- ….

Les:

- in 5th grade; 10

- friends with poor spots siblings

- is friends with the newsies

- loves medda

- is like another crutchie without the trauma/depression/anxiety/etc.

- asks david if him and jack are dating

- he knew david was 💅 before david did

- loves it when one or all of the newsies picks him up from school

- everyone loves him

- got picked on for having a “looser brother”

- spot (both poor and rich) picked him up one time with david. said “if you have a problem with les, you got a problem with me!”

- les was never bothered again

- gets lifted onto the guy’s shoulders all the fricking time

- loves feeling tall

- wants to play football like jack

- is very smart

- is ridiculously fast

- he has the fastest mile time in the whole grade

- teachers pet

- doesn’t have many friends his age

- brags about the newsies to his classmates

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

Ah! I forgot to ask what you think of the Angel event. In my opinion, it's not a bad event, but god was it weird. Maybe I'm just weird and I think people being super nice is too suspicious (considering I am STILL sus of Simeon). I think I would have liked it more if the ending wasn't the party but instead them turning back and we get to tell them that we like them just the way they are

I have pretty mixed feelings about this. I didn’t like the actual content of the event but I did like the potential hints of a backstory that you can dig outta it. Hear me out;

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE:

How they were lied to and forced into the clothes and into their roles during this event

How uncomfortable, angry and scared they initially all were

How this was more or less rather cruelly making them live through their past trauma (for a party?????) not to mention digging up Satan’s identity issues

How this was essentially brainwashing because the brothers’ personalities did a complete 180 and didn’t even seem to notice it when in reality, we were previously told there weren’t any major personality changes between their time as angels and demons (for example as angels, Lucifer was still arrogant and prideful, Mammon was still a troublemaker, Asmo was still vain and Belphie was still lazy)

It casts a very black and white image on what angels and demons are like when om! has proven countless times before that it isn’t like that.

WHAT I DID LIKE:

So on the surface level this event was messed up, but like what if it was supposed to be messed up? Maybe I’m looking into it too much but this event gives a beautiful view on what the actual angels and celestial realm is like. This event, to me, states three points:

1.     The event itself is meant to be perceived as messed up:

The devs went to the extra trouble of adding scenes where Solomon and Luke are distinctly uncomfortable with what is happening and Solomon even calls the magic used ‘scary’, they didn’t have to waste time doing this if the event was supposed to come off as endearing and lighthearted. It’s also distinct that it’s Solomon saying this given that he’s ancient, has pacts with 72 demons, and the game hints at his meeting with Asmo being similar to Asmodeus and Solomon’s biblical meeting which was messed up and dark af. So I think it’s safe to say whatever he sees as wrong and scary would not be an exaggeration

2.     The Celestial Realm has a set black and white view of what demons and angels are like, and the bangles are supposed to make the wearer act opposite to the Celestial Realm’s view of demons, even if the wearer’s actual personality is not actually like that view

One main storyline hint for this is from lesson 40, where the voice in the light (presumably Michael) says that given how much the brothers like MC he would have expected them to be wicked, EXCEPT while yeah the brothers do heavily show their sins none of them are outright evil?? Like if they are pissed they’d attack but overall in general they’re all just kinda…chill? If anything given their personalities it would make more sense for them to be attracted towards someone who accepts and loves them for who they are than they would be towards someone who was wicked. But Michael just assumed ‘demons = evil so someone they like would also be evil’

The biggest hint at this within the event is MC’s interaction with ‘angelic’ Mammon cause he says a bunch of things that go directly against what has been established so far.

a.)   Mammon apologizes for the way he treats MC EXCEPT he’s being by MC’s side since like a week after meeting them? He makes a pact with them even though he just as easily could have just grabbed Goldie from them given that he’s the fastest. He never steals from them and later actually starts working legit jobs to earn money when he wants to buy them something, which is apparently fairly often. He bandages their wrist even though he told them he wouldn’t go out of his way to help them. He agrees to their stupid plans even though he knows he’ll get in trouble. He goes against and stands up to Lucifer for them despite being scared of Lucifer. He forgives them almost instantly after they lie about Belphie and all of this is just from season 1 cause the man’s even softer for MC in season 2

b.)   Mammon talks about selling his things to provide for human kids EXCEPT this is something he already does? One of the main reasons he’s always in debt is cause the Witches take advantage of him and the fact that through them he’s providing for a homeless orphan human child.  

3.     It paints a picture of the Celestial Realm as a controlling, ‘this and only this is the right way’, ‘we’d do anything for our notion of peace and order’ kind of world and it’s something the game has hinted at before:

The Celestial Realm decided to execute Lilith for loving and healing a human, while the Devildom (Diavolo) just reincarnated her and let her live amongst the humans

While in Celestial Realm the twins and Lilith had to sneak off to the human world while Diavolo straight up just brought two humans to the Devildom so he could bring about peace between the realms

The angels seem to be raised to view the demons as evil without any evidence to support it (Lucifer as an angel refusing to even look at Diavolo, Luke’s whole initial attitude towards demons) while as far as we know demons don’t really do this (Diavolo’s pov of his meeting with angel lucifer, lots of the background demons seem to just view Luke as a cute puppy)

Lucifer’s obsession with needing to follow the rules, needing to bend over backwards for Diavolo, being strict with his brothers, being this calm and collected, perfect always in control being. We learnt in the Celestial Realm that Lucifer was more callous and outspoken, and given that he rebelled against his father and started a war probably had less regard for rules and authority figures. The reason why Lucifer is the way he is in the Devildom could be due to him blaming himself for Lilith’s death because not only did he let her break the rules but he broke them himself which then led to the war

The celestial Realm was willing to do this whole magic bangle with which is highly amoral for a party? That’s like peak control freak, and as someone who is very much 100% a control freak I feel like I have the right to judge

So yeah, overall while I don’t like the actual event I like all its implications and the irony that the event with the angels is one of the darker events

Hated the ending though, I’ve more or less made an outline for a personally more satisfying ending for this event based around the magic ending almost immediately after the last chapter and a lot of hurt/comfort, angst and talking through feelings, their sense of self and their actual life in the celestial realm between all the characters but my work ethic is shit rn so :/

Obviously this is just my interpretation but I’d be more than willing to talk about this with you guys!

[heartofsnark]

This Is Love (Chapter Nine): That Melts To A Shriek

Notes: Hello~, school has been stressful af, but luckily(?) for y’all I sometimes write to ignore my feelings/schoolwork. So, chapters have been getting done anyway. 

Word Count: 11596

Chapter Warnings: Implications of abuse, not sure the best way to word this; acts of violence/property damage done against cops for being cops but very nearly hurt/killed a civilian.  

For chapter one and the warnings about this fic’s overarching themes, please click here!

For the previous chapter; click here

Taglist (trying this out, these are folks who interacted with the post over on my personal or contacted me privately, if you’d like to be added just message me): @enchantedbythebidders, @tender-wounds, @satanscaffeinatedfriend

Dahlia skids her bike to a stop in the diner parking lot; Cassie is sitting in the dirt just outside the building with her knees pulled up to her chest. She parks and makes a beeline to the girl, as she pokes her head up, looking at the deputy through a curtain of dark curly hair. Her cheek is red, just beginning to bruise, the imprint of a hand visible in the moonlight. 

“Cassie,” Dahlia speaks her name delicately, seeing the tears tracking down the girl’s face. And she sinks down next to her and hugs her. Cassie hugs her back and sobs into Dahlia’s shoulder; trying to talk but everything muffles through chokes of crying. 

Eventually, Cassie’s tears slow and her sobs lessens, fading into soft hiccups as she clings to Dahlia. 

“I know it’s hard, but can you tell me what happened?” Dahlia asks once the young woman has calmed. 

“My mom,” she wipes away her tears as she breaks their embrace, “I, I guess, I crossed a line. She kicked me out.” 

“She hurts you?” 

“She’s intense….I guess.” 

“She’s put her hands on you.” 

“Yeah.” 

“A lot?” 

“Yeah…” Dahlia wipes away the fresh tears that fall from the girl’s eyes, heart breaking for her. 

“You didn’t cross any line, you know that, right? Nothing you’ve done makes it okay.” 

“I just wanted to keep one paycheck, one, that didn’t have to go towards her bills or her clothes, or her whatever. Just one I could keep for myself and it was too much to ask and now…,” she searches for her next words, “I don’t know where to go…” 

There’s no homeless shelters in Hope County, no emergency housing for people struggling, the exact reason so many of the drifters in the area sleep in abandoned train cars. It’s ridiculous, no rehabs despite the county having a drug problem and no shelter for people who need it. How the fuck are people supposed to get through?

“You can stay with me,” Dahlia offers, she sleeps on the couch anyway, no reason not to offer her bed to someone in need. 

“No, I, I couldn’t. I bothered you enough, I-“ 

“Nonsense, we need to get you somewhere safe and I can’t think of anywhere safer, right now. Unless you wanna go out of county.”

“No, no, god no, I don’t wanna leave Hope…” 

“I ain’t got much, but I got room for you.” 

“Thanks…” 

“You got anything with you?” Dahlia asks, when she notices all Cassie has are the clothes on her back, a thin jacket thrown over her waitress uniform. 

“No…couldn’t grab anything…” 

“Okay, then, we’ll make do tonight and tomorrow, I’ll see about getting your clothes back. That alright with you?” 

“Yeah…just don’t…” 

“I won’t do anything crazy, promise.” 

“Okay…” 

“Here you,” Dahlia says, handing over her motorcycle helmet to Cassie. She takes it and Dahlia knows Cassie is taller, a little older too, but in this moment, she seems so small and young, almost like a child. 

Once the helmet is secure, Dahlia gets on her bike, allowing Cassie to climb on the back of it, instructing the girl to hold on as tightly as she can. Thin arms wrapping tight enough to dig into Dahlia’ s skin. The night air is cold, Cassie’s body all that much warmer in comparison as it presses in against and around the deputy. 

There are a few eyes watching the girls as they ride into the trailer park, Dahlia coming to a stop by her porch. She’s gentle as she helps Cassie off the motorcycle, taking the helmet from her, the taller girl’s dark eyes dart around nervously, straying near where a Moonflower resident is glaring at the pair. Dahlia rubs a hand through the back of Cassie’s hair, ruffling the dark curls, mimicking Sheriff Whitehorse and his method of calming her. If it works for her, maybe it can help Cassie.  

“Don’t worry about them, go on inside, I’m gonna lock up my bike okay.”

Cassie nods her head and walks off into the trailer. Dahlia catches eyes with the man who was glaring and she glares right back, flipping him off before locking up her bike. She could give a damn less what anyone does to her, but she’s not going to let them give Cassie hell. The girl has been through enough. 

The older girl is on the couch when Dahlia walks back into the trailer, Cassie’s eyes looking over everything. 

“Hey, you, uh, want anything to drink or eat? I don’t know how to make coffee, but there’s coke, water, uhhh…?” Dahlia pauses, arm still gestured outward as she tries to think of what else she can offer. 

“Actually, I just wanna  grab a shower and sleep, if that’s alright.” 

“Of course, I’ll go grab some clothes you can sleep in, the bathroom is just right here,” Dahlia tells her, tapping a hand to the bathroom door. 

“Thanks.” 

Dahlia scurries off to rummage through her clothes, finding warm oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants, finding the warmest but least…Dahlia’s aesthetic to offer Cassie. She knocks on the bathroom door, giving Cassie a warning before she opens the door and quickly drops the change of clothes in the room before scurrying off.  Trying to be welcoming, homely, nice, she doesn’t even know; she tries to get some food together. Store bought cookies and instant bag mix cocoa with hot water. It’s bad and shoddy, but she doesn’t have much to offer in the way of hospitality. This entire night has been a whiplash for her and she can’t even imagine what it must be doing to Cassie, she doubts shitty hot chocolate or mass produced cookies can fix it, but it’s something. 

A few moments pass, Dahlia cramming cookies in her mouth as she waits, and finally Cassie leaves the shower. Despite being taller than the deputy, the baggy black clothes look big on her, the skulls along the sleeves don’t suit the woman much either. 

“Thanks for the clothes.” 

“No problem, uh, sorry they’re…so, me, I guess?” 

Cassie laughs and a bubble of tension bursts inside of Dahlia, her shoulders finally able to relax as she smiles back. It no longer feels like walking on eggshells around a scared animal, Cassie at once seems more comfortable and happy even if only for a moment. 

“It’s okay,” Cassie tells her after a moment, “seriously, I just appreciate, all of this. Don’t worry so much.” 

“Hey, I’m happy to help, uh,  help yourself to anything I shitty whipped together and oh I know. I need to show you where you can sleep,” the deputy fumbles about and then walks down to the bedroom, opening the door, “I know it ain’t much, but hey, bed’s a bed, right?” 

“You have a second bedroom?” 

“Huh, oh nah, I sleep on the couch.” 

“You don’t have too, I don’t expect you to give up your bed for me, I-“ 

“No, no,” Dahlia gently touches Cassie’s shoulder before she can get too worked up, “I just do that, nothing to do with you.” 

“Oh….that’s…weird.” 

“I appreciate your honesty…I think?” Dahlia makes a huffy laugh, unable to hold down the corners of her mouth, the little insult? Dig? Whatever, someone might call it has brought a bit more levity to this and fuck knows the situation needs it. 

There’s not much conversation for the rest of the night; Cassie visibly exhausted, only grabbing a cookie before excusing herself to sleep for the night. Dahlia eventually falling asleep on her couch later that night. 

It’s back to work the next day, Dahlia planning on making a visit to Cassie’s mom during a quiet moment, claiming it as a lunch hour. She has no intention of using force or being aggressive, but she knows her uniform could add some….incentive for someone to be more helpful than harmful towards her. 

Maybe it’s that, knowing she’ll want the full effect of it, or maybe it’s because she missed working, but she wears her uniform the proper way and with a bit more pride than she did before. She says goodbye to Cassie, the words clumsy and stumbling from her lips, as she tries to grow more comfortable with someone else in her home. 

The morning hours pass by without much of note, harassing Pratt whenever the time presents itself and searching for affordable housing or shelters, or whatever the hell is available for Cassie. And she comes to the same conclusion she had when searching for her own housing ; The Moonflower is the absolute most dirt cheap. 

A buzz and crackle over the radio, dispatch starting to break through. 

“Boshaw’s parked out in Falls End at his bullshit again.” Dispatch doesn’t even pretend to have decorum and Dahlia knows there’s more than one Boshaw, the owners of the Moonflower being Boshaw’s themselves, but given his history and the tone she immediately thinks of Sharky. 

“Oh god, really, can no one else go?” Pratt asks, looking like he wants to jump into traffic more than deal with this. 

“Nope, everyone else passed the buck, so just go tell him to scram.” 

“Fine, fine, fine.” 

“It that Sharky guy?” Dahlia asks once Pratt starts to drive. 

“Un-fucking-fortunately, pain in my goddamn ass.” 

“He stealing again or…?” 

“Hmm,” there’s a sudden glint in Pratt’s eyes, a smirk on his face and Dahlia already regrets coming into work, “actually, this seems like a good welcome back for you, Rookie.” 

“I’m gonna want to strangle you after this, aren’t I?” 

“Definitely.” 

She groans as the police cruiser makes it’s way through Falls End, ultimately coming to a stop in a store parking lot, a few other cars are around but it’s mostly deserted. Pratt points out a dark green jeep within the lot. 

“That’s Boshaw’s truck, go knock on the window and tell him to scram.” 

“Jeep…” 

“What?” 

“You called it a truck, that’s not a truck, that’s a jeep.” 

“Does it fucking matter?” 

“Not really, but it bugged me, and I don’t know why.” 

“Go knock on the fucking window.” 

“What’s he even doing? Drugs? Or?” 

“Go knock and find out.” 

“I swear to god,” Dahlia grumbles and finally opens the cruiser door, she has no idea what the fuck she’s walking into. 

She’s able to see Boshaw through the driver side window of his jeep, eye closed and head leaned back. Dahlia speeds up, she’s heard of residents overdosing in their cars, he never struck her as a hard drug user but one can never really tell. Dahlia raises her fist to knock on the window and then she sees it. Boshaw’s hand rubbing up and down the length of his dick. This is her life. 

“What the fuck!” She yells out and closes her eyes, because she does not need the image of his dick burned into her brain, she’s still dealing with the image of John fucking Holly rattling around in there. What is wrong with people? 

“Shit,” she hears him curse, a shuffling of something, a window being rolled down, “what the hell-“ 

“Get the fuck out of here or I’m charging you public indecency, right fucking now, christ!”

She waits until she hears an engine starting up and then makes a beeline back to the cruiser, not wanting to even chance seeing that weirdo’s dick again. Dahlia stomps her way back to the patrol car, Pratt’s laughing hitting her as soon as she opens the door. She kicks into the car, not hard, just a quick jab of her boot into his arm before she pulls back. 

“What the actual fuck, Pratt!?” 

“What, get an eyeful?” 

“What the actual fuck, does he just do…that!?” She’s cringing as she climbs into the passenger side seat. 

“Yeah, he just, is like that if he isn’t jerking off in public, he’s setting something on fire. Or both.” 

“Dear lord, what is wrong with people? What’s wrong with you doing that to me, asshole!?” 

“Ah, don’t get your panties in a twist, I’ll buy you lunch.” 

“Save your apology food for tonight, I got something to take care of during lunch.” 

“So, you’re abandoning work?” 

“For an hour max and you can call me if anything comes up.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just giving you shit, it’s fine.” 

She rolls her eyes as they go back to the station, just a short drive away in the small town. The young deputy waves off her patrol partner as she climbs onto her bike, making sure her ringer is turned on this time, just in case something does manage to come up. Cassie gave her the address this morning and she quickly finds the little house surrounded by woods, as so many of the houses in Hope County are. 

Dahlia lets out a breath before knocking her knuckles against the door, firm and heavy despite the knot twisting her insides. After a few moments pass and then finally the door opens; an older woman staring back at Dahlia. The resemblance between her and Cassie is strong; the same pitch black hair and dark eyes, just to an older face. 

“Oh god, she didn’t drag you all into this did she?” Her words drip with condescension and venom and a muscle in Dahlia’s cheek twitches, her jaw tight. 

“I’m sorry to bother you ma’am, but I was hoping to collect Cassie’s clothes and personal items.” 

“Pff, what’d she tell you, some sob story, I’m sure.” 

“This isn’t a criminal matter,” yet, Dahlia would like to add, but decorum or something, “if that’s what you’re concerned about and I don’t have a warrant either, for full disclosure. I’m just kindly asking to get her things, I can collect them myself or you can hand them to me if you’d rather I not enter the home, whatever you like.”

“You can come on in, I don’t have anything to hide,” Cassie’s mother lets her in. 

“Thank you so much, where is her room, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“Right this way, I swear she’s so fucking dramatic.” Her mother bitches and complains, taking Dahlia there and showing her an open duffle bag that she can put clothes in. 

“I just know she asked me to get her things.” 

“I’m so sorry she dragged you into this deputy, I’m sure you have better things to do.” Her mother talks as Dahlia tries to gather as much as she can into the bag, not only clothes but things that could be important, books and a laptop. 

“I’m always happy to help out where I can, thank you so much for your time and patience, ma’am.” 

A hand catches Dahlia’s bicep, Cassie’s mom stopping her. She turns to look, not sure what exactly is going on now. 

“So, where is she staying?”

“I don’t know ma’am, I was only asked to bring her things to the police station, but I assure you she’s in a safe place. No worries. Have a lovely day.” 

Dahlia pulls away from the woman’s grip and leaves the house, she keeps an eye over her shoulder as she leaves, insuring that the mother isn’t following her. Just in case she takes a few odd turns to make sure and then finally makes her way back to the Moonflower. 

She’s compelled to knock on her own trailer door, not sure what Cassie might be doing with her alone time. Cassie’s dark eyes peek through the window and Dahlia waves, before the door opens. The girl’s head tilted to the side slightly, eyebrow raised. 

“Did you forget your key?” 

“No, I uh, just wanted you to know I was here, I guess.” 

“Okay, uh, you really act like a guest in your own house, don’t you?” Cassie points out as Dahlia walks into the trailer. 

“Ehhh, like ya know,” she makes a vague noncommittal wiggly gesture with her shoulders, “anyway, I got your clothes. No trouble, no issues, check through and make sure I grabbed everything.” 

“Thanks, really, you have no idea how much this means to me,” Cassie gushes as she looks through it. 

“It’s not problem at all, there is one thing I wanna talk to you about.” 

“What’s up?” 

“So, I’ve been trying to look around, see what options are available for you to move into. The cheapest housing in Hope is right here, if you wanna save up to rent a trailer. Then things get pricier, you’re looking at the trailers at Silver Lake which are twice as much, and even more than that for renting an apartment in Falls End or god forbid you’re trying to buy a house.” 

“I…don’t really wanna live here on my own… The people here are…” 

“Rough?” 

“We’ll go with that. But, it’s not like I can afford anything else.” 

“Well, there’s affordable housing like section eight in the bigger places, b-“ 

“I don’t wanna leave Hope either, I-, oh god.” 

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m not trying to freak you out or overload you. You don’t have to know right now, you don’t have to know anytime soon. You can stay here as long as you need, no rush or pressure. I just wanted to let you know what I found.” 

“Thanks, I just gotta save up some money and then…” 

“Hey, I still got some time for my lunch break, I’ll treat ya if there’s anywhere you wanna go.” 

“Uh, I could go for some pizza.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

Dahlia takes them both to the 8-Bit Pizza Bar, the rest of her lunch break isn’t very long, so they don’t get much time to chat. Finishing off a pizza and talking about video games before Dahlia has to drop Cassie back off at the trailer to head back into work; warning her new roommate that she’ll be going to The Spread Eagle after her shift. And finding out what she can bring Cassie home for dinner. 

Whitehorse is out in the bullpen style offices when she arrives back to the precinct, discussing something with an officer. She waits as patiently as her baseline personality will allow her, unable to help tapping her fingers against her thigh, also brimming with some sort of uncontainable energy. Surely, Whitehorse might know someplace Cassie can turn to? Someplace that can help her. 

“Something on your mind, Rookie?” 

“Yeah, you remember that waitress, Cassie?” 

“Something happen with her?” There’s a furrow in his brows and a clench in his jaw, worry and concern darkening his eyes. 

“She called me, her mom hurt her, threw her out, she’s not interested in pressing charges. So, she’s staying with me right now, safe. But, uh, she’s…not really happy at the Moonflower. Rough folks ya know, give her dirty looks ‘cause she’s hanging out with a cop, that whole mess. So, I was wondering if there’s literally anything available to help her out?” 

“I’m sorry to say, there’s not a hell of a lot around here, Rook. Moonflower’s cheapest place she’d find to live, but as far as charity goes, Hope County runs low on it.  Churches use to help out when they could, you can always try with them, but not sure they can afford to help anymore.” 

“Never thought I’d be upset at a lack of religious involvement in anything, but what do you mean they can’t afford it.” 

“Most of ‘em are bleeding members. Pastor Jerome’s church in town and the old Lamb Of God Church only got a few regulars right now. Most folks jumped to Eden’s Gate.” 

“Does….Eden’s Gate do any sort of help?” 

Dahlia raises an eyebrow, Joseph certainly seems nice. The way Layla and Waylon talked, the church is no stranger to helping the crestfallen. Certainly, they do some sort of outreach? Even the worst of churches tend to do something; hell her own shitty step-dad’s church helped rebuild the community after the hurricanes. It’s good PR and a way to draw people in. 

“Sure, but for most people they’re a last resort and for good reason.” 

“’Cause they’re buzzkills and no one likes them?” 

“That’s one way to put it,” he gives her shoulder a comforting squeeze, “good luck and if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know, alright?” 

“Will do, thanks, Sheriff.”. 

Later in the night, shift ending with little trouble, the three deputies make their usual Spread Eagle trips. But Dahlia can’t seem to settle. She assumed it’d feel easy and nice to be back to her completely usual routine, a celebration when she returned,  but everything draws her mind back to Cassie. Dahlia can’t help but feel guilty when she thinks about it, despite opening her home to the older girl, she can’t say she’s been there much. Having to go to work today and only sparing her a half hour for lunch. And now she’s out with friends… She tries to focus on what Pratt and Hudson are saying, but only finds herself worrying about Cassie. She’s alone in an unfamiliar place… probably still scared and worried about every shadow. 

“You alright, Rook, you seem out of it.” 

“Yeah, uh, actually, my head is starting to hurt, injury and all that. So, if it’s cool, I’m gonna split early tonight.” 

“Alright, but if you think you’re getting a rain check on that free food, you’re out of your mind,” Pratt taunts her and she laughs, flicking his ear. 

“Somehow I’ll live, see you guys tomorrow.” 

She orders some food to go for her and Cassie then heads out. There’s that familiar end of shift exhaustion as she pulls into the Moonflower, bones and muscles always a little leaden. The desire to just stuff her face and veg out in front of the tv for a while. It’s an all too familiar feeling of trudging back to her trailer, but this isn’t the same as all those nights. 

Darkness and silence don’t greet her as she opens the door, the clawing feeling of loneliness doesn’t strike her like a snake hiding in underbrush. Her trailer is alive, it seems, lights and tv on, brightness and a burble of noise. Cassie sitting on the couch, curled up as some romantic comedy plays on the tv. Her entire body turning to greet Dahlia, bright eyes and a soft smile welcoming the deputy. 

“Hey, I thought you were gonna be late?” 

“Yeah, turns out I wasn’t feeling it tonight, brought dinner though,” Dahlia shows the bag off, “what’re you watching?” 

“10 Things I Hate About You. I know it’s cheesy as hell, but it’s one of my favorites.” 

“Never seen it.” 

“What, oh my god, you have to watch it with me! It’s so good.”  

“Okay, okay, let me settle in and we’ll have a movie night.” 

Once she’s changed out of her uniform, Dahlia settles in on the couch with Cassie, who’s rewinded the movie back to the beginning. They’re cramming food into their mouths as it plays and it’s adorable. A guy being paid to date a girl, so another guy could date her sister due to some dumb dad rule, but then alas he falls in legitimate love. Cassie says lines along with the actors, showing just how many times she’s watched it, able to quote characters verbatim. She does a nervous little glance over at Dahlia now and again as it plays on, checking Dahlia’s interest, the deputy makes sure to smile a little brighter when those eyes land on her. 

“I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I’m begging you to beg me~!” Cassie sings along to the final song that plays the movie out, a band conveniently located on the schools roof, because why the hell not?

“I see why that’s one of your favorites.” 

“Sorry I couldn’t shut up,” Cassie apologizes, cheeks red. 

“No, no, it’s cute. Shows just how much you’re enjoying yourself.” 

“I still remember when they showed it to us in class, I just fell in love.” 

“They showed that in school?” 

“Yeah, it’s actually based on an Shakespeare play, Taming of The Shrew, so they showed to us in English. Along with the DeCaprio, Romeo and Juliet.” 

“Ah, I haven’t seen that movie either.” 

“You haven’t seen many movies have you?” 

“My family wasn’t big on tv and honestly, if my school played anything, I probably slept through it or don’t remember it well.” 

“I mean, your memory can’t be that bad, high school was probably not that long ago for you, was it?” 

“Hey, you don’t know that, I could be pushing forty for all you know.” 

“Oh yeah, and dermatologist just hate you,” she rolls her eyes, “seriously, how old are you?” 

Maybe, it’s the food warm in her belly, the comfort of her own trailer, or the shared smiles; but she feels a little more honest than usual. 

“Twenty…ish,” she says, with a little smug smirk, knowing the question to follow.

“Ish?” 

“Hmmm, well, between you and me, I may be a little shy of it.” 

“You’re nineteen?” 

“Only for the next three months or so, but, yeah…” She admits, trying to do the math, she turns twenty in September. 

“So, you’ve just been lying about your age?” 

“It’s three months, okay, nineteen just hits the ear differently. I have a hard enough time getting anyone around here to respect me without being called a teenager.” 

“But, you are a teenager.” 

“Technically, my age does contain the word teen in it.” 

“And what do you plan on doing when everyone expects you to turn twenty-one and you don’t?” 

“The only people who know when my birthday is would be the Sheriff, you kind of, or in Louisiana. As long as you and Whitehorse don’t run around alerting everyone, there’s no way of any of them knowing, I can play it off as my birthday being further away.” 

“Is that worth it just to not be called a teenager?” 

“Considering all the shit I get about my age and rank already; yes.” 

“I mean, you do look like a baby faced high schooler.” 

“Oh you’re one to talk,” Dahlia laughs, reaching out to pinch Cassie’s own round cheeks, the girl giggles and shoves at her in response. 

“Shit, it’s late,” Cassie says after a moment, catching the time. 

“You headed for bed then?’ 

“I, uh, actually needed to ask you something first?” 

“Sure, what’s up?” 

“I got today off because of…everything…but if I wanna start saving money back up, I gotta go into work. But…I don’t have a car…” 

“What’d you do before?” 

“I just used my mom’s car, she didn’t let me have my own, said it was too much…” 

“And public transport ain’t exactly booming out here.” 

“You can’t even get rideshares out here.” 

“What’s your shift hours?” 

“Nine to five.” 

“You okay with getting there early and hanging out there later? If so I can drop you off on my way to and from work, my shifts are just a bit, lengthier.” 

“Yeah that’s fine, hell, I could chock it up to overtime and probably get a coworker to drive me home at the end of my shift, if you can just get me there in the morning.” 

“We can do that.” 

“Thank you, thank you,” Cassie throws her arms around Dahlia, “seriously, this just thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, you’re gonna get through this and I’m gonna help you every step of the way, promise.” 

She rubs a hand up and down the girls back, then she hears it. Maybe it’s just everything hitting Cassie, maybe it’s the deputy’s words, or the comforting touch; but something pushes the older girl to tears. Broken whimpers and cries, tears wetting Dahlia’s shoulder as she does her best to comfort Cassie, holding her tight and letting her just let it out. 

It’s unclear how long it lasts, the outpour of emotion, but at some point, Cassie is finally able to pull away with red rimmed eyes and apologies on her lips. 

“Nothing to apologize for, mon cher. Why don’t you head on to bed, morning will be here before you know it.” 

“Okay, night, and I know I sound like a broken record, but thanks again…” 

“No problems, now go get some sleep.” 

Cassie leave for the bedroom and Dahlia chews her lips, thoughts racing through her brain. There’s a thought pressing on her, she didn’t bring it up to Cassie and likely won’t until she settles in a bit more. But, she wonders if Cassie could once she gets her footing, just chip in for rent here? She said she feels more comfortable in the Moonflower with Dahlia around, they get along well, and Dahlia likes having a friend to come home to… But a conversation for another day… 

It’s the following afternoon when Pratt and Dahlia are called out to a local veteran’s house. Redler is an older man, older than Whitehorse, with steel gray hair and deep wrinkles creased into his face. Despite his age, he’s strong and sturdy, shaking Dahlia’s hand with a near bone crushing strength when she greets him the next day under the afternoon sun. She can feel the years of work in the rough calluses that mar his hands. Pratt told her that he fought in Vietnam when they got the dispatch call, someone tried to break into his home last night and they were asked to check everything out. 

“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Dahlia says after introduction, feeling the need to straighten her shoulders around the veteran. 

“Thank you both for coming out, I’m sure I’m just being paranoid, but I’d appreciate if you’d check everything out. I can’t get around quite like I use to.” 

“We’re happy to help, Redler.” 

Pratt and Dahlia start to walk around the house and property, searching for anything that could be considered suspicious or out of ordinary. There’s nothing that jumps out at Dahlia, Redler said he heard something last night but when he yelled out, whatever or whoever it was went away. 

“You think they managed to do anything before he scared ‘em off?” Dahlia asks Pratt. 

“Nah, some of the local teenagers just like to be a pain in his ass.” 

“Why?” 

“He’s an old sometimes crabby guy, kids are pains in the ass, like you.” 

“Haha,” she mocks dryly, “you’re so funny.” 

“I’m hilarious, in fact I had a very eye-opening experience this morning.” 

“Yeah, what was that?” 

“I woke up.” 

“Ughh,” she groans what an awful fucking joke, “you corny dumbass.” 

She raises her fist to give him her usual playful punch against his shoulder, then he steps out of the way. Her knuckles swinging through empty air before connecting with the glass behind Pratt. Blood drains from her face as the window shatters from the force of her punch. She…broke Redler’s window. 

“What the fuck, Rookie!?” Pratt looks at the window and at her, hazel green eyes wide with shock. 

“I, I, you moved!” 

“Oh no, oh no,” he shakes his hands emphatically and smirking, “you’re not blaming this on me.” 

“Why did you move!?” 

“How hard were you trying to hit me?!” 

“No harder than usual, I, I-“

“What the hell was that?” Redler’s voices rings out, steps following after his question, no doubt he heard the shatter. 

“Oh god.” She buries her head in her hands, embarrassment and shame hot in her face, she broke the man’s window over a shitty dad joke. Pratt is cackling at her expense and she knows she’s an idiot. But why did he move?

“What the hell happened here?” Redler asks as he comes around the corner of his house, seeing the broken outside window. She’s sure the inside is a mess of glass, oh god, what is wrong with her?

“I’m so so so so sorry,” she gushes out loudly from behind her hands, “I accidentally punched your window. I didn’t mean to, really. I’ll clean it up and fix it, I promise, I’ll pay for everything. I’m so sorry.” 

Her words slur and run into each other, as guilt forces her to practically beg for forgiveness. 

“Dear lord,” Redler sighs, the heavy sound a vice around her heart, dear god he must think she’s the stupidest person ever and he’s right, “I have the supplies to fix it up, you know how?” 

“Yes, sir, I could build you a brand new house if you gave me the time and supplies,” she tells him, which okay, maybe an exaggeration. But, if he asked her to, she’d try her damndest.

“That won’t be necessary, c’mon now.” 

There’s two different sheds, or shed like structures on his property. One is locked up tight, a keypad on the door and she finds herself wondering what might be in it as he brings her to the other building; helping her gather what she’ll need. Dahlia gets to work on fixing the disaster she’s created, first by cleaning up the broken glass inside and out of the home. Pratt on standby to snicker at the young deputy. 

“You punched a window…” He says, voice straining to contain laughter. 

“I know.” 

“Because of a dumb joke.” 

“I know.”

“Why are you like this?” 

“I don’t know!” 

If it wasn’t for the guilt and embarrassment; she’d probably be laughing at the ridculousness of the situation. But for now, every chuckle from her superior officer just fills her with a fresh dose of shame. Once she’s moved onto fixing the broken window itself, glass cleared, Pratt’s finally shifted his focus away from taunting her.

“Hey, Red,” he talks to the veteran while she works to clear out the dirt and old caulking from the window frame, “you going to the Rye barbecue tomorrow?” 

“Yeah…” 

“You don’t sound thrilled.” 

“Gah, it’s nothing, Grace and her dad are taking me, since I can’t drive or walk too well anymore. Just-“ 

“Don’t like having to be helped?” 

“Yeah, hazard of being my age, I’m afraid.” 

“It’s nice to see the veterans looking out for each other, though.” 

“Pff, use to see it a hell of a lot more because that damn Eden’s Gate bought the veterans center out from under us,” he sighs, heavy and deep for a moment before the older man looks over at her, “what about you, gonna break some of Kim and Nick’s windows tomorrow?” 

He’s smiling and Pratt laughs; at least Redler finds some humor in this she supposes. Her face is beet red as she tries to search for a response through her embarrassment. 

“Not that it stopped me from breaking yours, but, uh, I don’t know Nick or Kim. So, I’ll be steering clear.” 

“Still hung up on that,” Pratt rolls his eyes, “I told you, just show up with some food, no one gives a shit.” 

“I’m not showing up at a strangers house for their barbecue; that’s just asking for awkwardness and I have enough of that in my life as is.” 

“C’mon; me, Hudson, Whitehorse, even Beau will all be there. Ain’t like you won’t know anyone.” 

“All done,” she cuts off the barbecue talk, finished glazing and setting the window, it’s good to go. 

“Would have preferred you didn’t break it, but thanks for getting it fixed so quick.” 

“No problem and like I said,” she pulls cash from her wallet, more than enough to cover all she had to use, “’cause no reason you should be out for the stuff. Sorry again.” 

“And goes without saying, we didn’t find anything amiss, so you scared the brats off before they did anything,” Pratt chimes in. 

“’Preciate you two coming to check it out and despite the trouble, I suppose having some company was nice, I’ll see you around.” 

With that the pair of deputies leave the veteran to his evening, hopefully one that will contain significantly less broken windows. Dahlia rubs  a hand down her face when she sits down, tension leaving her back and shoulders now that she’s managed to fix the mess she made. 

“You should seriously come to the barbecue.” 

“Pratt….” 

“It’ll be a chance to meet some more folks, you’re talking about not knowing people, this is how you meet people.” 

He’s not wrong and she knows it, if she ever wants to make friends beyond him, Hudson, Cassie and Eden’s Gate members who’re hated by everyone else, then surely she needs to try to be social. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll buy something to bring tomorrow.” 

“Store bought crap isn’t exactly a way of winning folks over.” 

“I can’t cook, Staci.” 

“Who the hell can’t cook?” 

“Me, asshole.” 

“Oh please, you can throw something together.” 

“I mean if you want me to give the county food poisoning, I can.” 

“I’m sure you’ll manage,” he rolls his eyes and starts up the cruiser, he doesn’t seem to understand just how incompetent she is in the kitchen. 

The moment her shift ends, Dahlia is in a grocery store with her phone on searching for recipes. She needs something good, but more importantly, absolutely idiot proof. She wonders for a moment if she could get away with just freezing juice and sticking toothpicks in them for popsicles, that might be the only thing she’s incapable of fucking up. Though knowing her luck the freezer would just explode. 

She’s gonna kill Pratt; actually, physically kill him. 

No bake cookies, she spots on a list of recipes, that should be easy enough. Probably, it doesn’t even have to be baked, what’s the worst that could happen? Dahlia gathers up ingredients, enough for a few batches, in case she fucks up the first few attempts. Which she will. And some store generic brand sugar cookies in case she fucks up every attempt. Which she probably will. 

Cassie is on the couch watching movies, having grabbed that ride home from a coworker, when Dahlia comes home with bags filled with ingredients. The older girl raises an eyebrow, watching as Dahlia drags these bags to the kitchen, which she hasn’t touched since she made shitty instant hot chocolate. 

The deputy rubs her fingers idly against the burn across her palm, her step father having held it to the stove when her mother tried to teach her to cook and she hadn’t listened. It stands out among her colorful history of abuse at his hands, the burning of her own flesh a sharp and brutal contrast to the bite of a belt or the strike of a hand. It may only be second to the snake incident… 

She shakes her head, trying to shake off her memories like a dog drying itself. She’ll have time to review Father Monroe’s greatest hits later, for now she needs to try to make cookies without destroying her trailer. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m going to the Rye barbecue tomorrow, so I have to make something…” 

“Oh those have always been fun.” 

“You’ve been?” 

“Yeah, everyone loves Nick and Kim.” 

“Well, I’ve never met them and I’m terrified.” 

“Pff,” Cassie laughs, “they’re sweethearts, though Kim’s a little hormonal with baby.” 

“I…ya know what it doesn’t matter, what does matter is; you wanna play hooky from work and go with me?” 

“I need money.” 

“Ugh, you and your need for basic survival requirements,” Dahlia dramatically roles her eyes, “if you must disappoint me by ‘needing money’, you can least make up for it by making the cookies.” 

“Not happening.” 

“God damn it, fine, I got this.” 

Dahlia dumps the ingredient out on her counter;  sugar, milk, butter, cocoa powder, vanilla, peanut butter, and oats. So, she needs to line baking pans with parchment paper… the fuck is parchment paper? Why was this not mentioned in things she needed? 

“I don’t think I got this,” Dahlia announces. 

“It’s been a minute.” 

“What the fuck is parchment paper?” 

“Its paper so it doesn’t stick to the pan, I think you have some non-stick spray, that may help?” 

“Okay, okay then.” 

“Do you even have pans?” 

“Yes, I have pans, I’m not a cavewoman.” 

“You sure about that?” 

Cassie merely laughs at Dahlia’s pout, the deputy then grabbing the pans and spraying them down, this should be fine? She shrugs to herself, what’s the worse that could happen if she uses spray and not paper?

“Okay then,” Dahlia starts to read the rest of the recipe, “wait what?” 

“Do you already have a new crisis?” 

“…maybe… These are supposed to be no bakes, why am I heating shit up on the stove? That makes no sense.” 

“Well, that’s not baking.” Cassie shrugs like it’s obvious and maybe to her it is. 

“What?” 

“Baking means it’s in an oven,” Cassie speaks slowly, eyes wide at the realization of how deep Dahlia’s incompetence runs, “if it’s on a stove that’s more like cooking.” 

“There’s a difference?” 

“Yes.” 

“What the fuck? Why do you need more than one word for making food hot?!” 

“Do…do you know anything?” 

“Clearly not!” 

Dahlia curses under her breath, already frustrated at her lack of knowledge. Why is she such a fucking idiot with this stuff? She just wants to make a good impression on people and she’s such a fucking mess. Ruminating will get her nowhere; she ties her short hair back into a sloppy little ponytail and takes her deputy uniform shirt off to tie around her hips, knowing the stove will quickly heart up her small kitchen then sets her phone to play some music. 

“You need music to cook?” 

“Need it to function.” 

“Some parts of my brain are probably still sleeping I wish I could tell but I'm probably still sleeping.”

Dahlia starts following the instructions , humming along to the music, something upbeat to help her not want to die through this entire process. She eyeballs the amount of  sugar, butter, cocoa powder and milk into the saucepan; trying to make it look like the pictured amount and turns on the heat. The recipe calls for her to whisk it, but she doesn’t have one those, so she stirs it off and on with a spoon, this isn’t too hard so far.

“Uh, are you measuring that?” Cassie asks and Dahlia leans on the table to talk, tapping her fingers along to the beat. 

“The recipe doesn’t say how much, but like, it can’t be too hard.” 

“Uhhhh deputy….” 

“I look to the window, I look through your eyes

I can see my reflection, but I can't close the blinds.”

There’s a burbling noise followed by sizzling and Dahlia turns in time to see chocolate milk boiling over the pan. It runs down onto the floor, sizzling as it hits the burner. The word shit is said under Dahlia’s breath like a chant as she shuts off the heat. 

“So…too much milk?” Dahlia wonder out loud as she cleans up the mess.

“Like I know.” 

‘Someone has to, ‘cause I sure as shit don’t.” 

“It's like someone's determined to change how I think

But if I just close my eyes I'll wake from each dream”

Dahlia cleans up the mess and dumps out the chocolate milk soupy mess within the pan, ignoring Cassie’s snickers of laughter as she works. She just had to do this with a peanut gallery, didn’t she? But hey, she was prepared for the first couple attempts to fuck up.  She combines the ingredients again, using much less milk this time. 

“Maybe you should find a recipe with measurements?” 

“I already have the ingredients for this recipe,” Dahlia says, if she switches now there could be shit she doesn’t have, right?

“You’re so stubborn…”

“What?” Dahlia asks when she notices the trail off, storing the new mixture which is thicker and becoming harder to stir in seconds, is that good?

“Holy fuck.” 

“You okay?” 

“I don’t know your name.” 

“Yeah, you just realized ? Umm, is that smell normal?” The chocolate mess is starting to smell like burning tires…which is probably bad.

“Would it let you down if we don't grow up?

Would it make you proud if we gave up?

What about anybody?

They're all just chasin' money”

“How is that possible? I’m living with you and don’t even know your name.” 

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Whitehorse is the only one who knows my full name.”

“What the-do you not tell people your name?”

“I mean, I never avoided it, but I usually just call myself the new deputy and we move on. Just sort of happened and now I just think it’s kinda funny, uh this is definitely not good is it?” 

“Jesus fuck, no that’s not good!”

Pitch black smoke has started to roll off the pan; solidifying burnt chocolate sticking to it. Dahlia swings the pan around to the sink, rolling it under cold water before it can spark fire. She huffs, blowing lose strands of hair up and out of her face, sweat and flush on her skin as she turns to face Cassie. 

“So, not enough milk that time.”

“You giving up?” 

“Of course not, third times a charm, mon cher,” Dahlia bolsters her fake confidence as she grabs a new pan, surely she can salvage one batch?

“Would it let you down if we don't grow up?

Would it make you proud if we gave up?

What about anybody?

They're all just chasin' honey”

Dahlia recombines finding a middle ground for the amount of milk to avoid burning or boiling over; she hovers over it, stirring the entire time as she watches for any signs of a new disaster. The entire time Cassie seems to be watching her, but she doesn’t talk as much this time, Dahlia can feel eyes on her arms in particular. She looks down at her arm, half expecting to see a spider, a pimple, or something that’d draw attention. But all she sees is her own bicep, maybe it’s the tattoos. Nothing complicated, as she couldn’t afford much, two solid black bands around her right bicep. 

“If ever you want me, if ever you need me

I may not be conscious but baby I'm honest

I'll look to the mirror, I'll look through your heart

I can see good intentions but we tear them apart”

“Do you like tattoos?” Dahlia asks, wondering if that’s why Cassie’s eyes have been drawn to the ink. 

“Huh, oh, uh they’re alright, I don’t have anything against them, do you have a lot?” 

“Just these and one on my lower back.” 

“You have a tramp stamp?” Cassie raises an eyebrow, a smile to her lips.

“No, tramp stamps are across the middle, it’s on the left side, so ha.” 

“So, it’s tramp stamp adjacent?” 

“Shut up.” 

“What is it of?” 

“A quote from Lady Lazarus; ‘and like the cat I have nine times to die,’ Sylvia Plath.” 

“That’s,” Cassie blinks, taken aback, “a lot more…pretentious than I expected from you.” 

“Someone I use to live with had all these books of poetry, philosophy, all the deep shit you could dream of. It was my first real time reading that kind of stuff, so a lot of it stuck with me. Cats are kind of a…theme in my life. They called me their stray, got me the helmet, I even had a cat for a…short period of time. So, it’s the quote from it I picked.” 

She can’t help but smile thinking of the shelves of books that Lloyd and Caroline had; when they first took her in, after years of being hidden away from anything ‘sinful’ or ‘worldly’, she was desperate to consume any media she could. She read every book in their house, spent days in front of the tv just binge-watching stuff she wasn’t allowed to watch as a kid. Mostly pokemon cartoons, horror movies, and Sailor Moon if she’s being honest. Caroline was the one with the love of poetry, telling Dahlia about Sylvia Plath when she found the books of poems one night. 

The idea of constantly being killed only to be brought back, over and over, a constant revolving door of pain. A cycle you beg for release from but are never afforded the mercy of it; Caroline explained how Plath struggled with suicidal thoughts… Dahlia never thought herself suicidal through her childhood, but she couldn’t deny how often she wished for death, an escape of any kind…  The symbolism with the condemnation of Jewish people, knowing the half of Dahlia’s background that her mother threw away for Father Monroe and made Dahlia throw away too, yet still they were called such vile and slurs… It just stuck with her. 

“Was there another contender?” 

“Yeah, I love the poem all around but two parts of it have always been my favorite.” 

“The cat one and…?” 

“Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well.” 

“God, you’re a dork.”

“So rude, what am I gonna do with you,” Dahlia laughs, shaking her head as she moves the pan off the burner. So far, it’s going alright, all she should need to do is mix in vanilla, peanut butter, and oats. Wait…she may be dumber than originally thought, which is saying a lot. 

“Something wrong, you look like you’re doing math in your head or something.” 

“A lot of people are allergic to peanuts…aren’t they?” 

“It’s like one of the most common allergies, yeah.” 

“And I chose food with peanut butter in them…” 

“Wasn’t gonna burst you bubble quite yet, but I’m pretty sure Nick is.” 

“What!? Why would you-!? What were you waiting for, me to kill a man!?” 

Cassie just laughs and Dahlia’s face feels like absolute fire, she’s frustrated and dumb. And between this shit and Redler’s window, who let her be like this? Did no one ever realize that she clearly does not have a brain? Was she born like this and the doctor was just like eh it’s fine and threw her little empty headed baby body out into the world? 

“It’s not a b-“ Cassie tries to speak through red faced laughter, because Dahlia’s misery is hilarious. 

“That’s it! I’m moving to Alaska, bon voyage, I’m out!” Dahlia claps her hands and swings her arms dramatically before dropping onto her back on the kitchen floor, crossing her arms over her chest. It’s so dumb, eyes stinging and throat feeling tight. It’s just cookies, she actually wants to cry over cookies, but dear god she can’t even make fucking cookies! It just feels like another failure. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Cassie stands up and comes around to talk to the dejected puddle of deputy, “it’s not a big deal, don’t be dramatic, alright?”

“I’m not being dramatic, between this and Redler’s window, I’m just gonna dye my fucking hair and run away to Alaska so no one knows who I am and no one can find me.” 

“What happened to Redler’s window?” 

“I broke it…” 

“Why’d you do that?” 

“I was trying to punch Pratt and he moved!” 

“Holy shit.” 

“Aren’t you suppose to be helping me?” 

“Umm, pack plenty of coats and I wouldn’t recommend going blonde.” 

“I hate you. Why do all my friends bully me?” She asks, thinking of both Cassie and Pratt being shitheads with her. She expects it from him, but Cassie, really?

“We do it with love, I assure you, now get up.” 

“No.” 

“I’m serious, okay, you can write a note and put it by them, most people expect no bakes to have peanut butter anyway.” 

“I can’t write a note.” 

“Wh- oh yeah your handwriting is…” 

“Dog shit, I know.” 

“I’ll write it for you then, okay, now get up.” 

“Thank you…” Dahlia reluctantly climbs up onto her feet, still pouting when she looks at Cassie who just smiles at her before ruffling her already messy hair. 

“You got this.”

“Do I?” 

“No. But I’m trying to be positive.” 

“Okay, fuck you too I guess?” Dahlia says in mock anger, laughing at the ridiculousness of all of this.  

She rubs a hand down her face and gets back to mixing up the rest of them mix, then spooning it onto a pan, after that it’s a matter of letting them set so they can solidify. When she sucks some of the mix off her thumb, she’s pleasantly surprised, half expecting with her luck for it to be inedible, but it tastes fine. Chocolate, hint of peanut butter, and oats. Nothing fancy, but she’s not gagging which is something. 

“Here, that should help, if you end up taking these,” Cassie says, showing a notecard with a warning for peanut butter on it. 

“What do you mean ‘if’ I end up taking them, they’re not bad, they actually turned out pretty well.” 

“Well, they might not set.” 

“What?” 

“Sometimes no bakes don’t set properly and you end up with just puddles of chocolate oatmeal instead of proper cookies.” 

“What the fuck…what?” 

“Not to literally bring you down again, but, um, no bakes are kinda finicky and not a great choice for beginners.” 

“I’m never baking, cooking, broiling, roasting, or whatever the fuck else you call this shit ever again.” 

“That’s probably best for everyone…”

“I hate you.” 

“Yeah, yeah, love you too. I’m gonna head to bed now.” 

“Yeah, now you got your fill of entertainment.” 

“Don’t stress too much.” 

Dahlia sighs as Cassie leaves, shoulders still tense. She just wants to make a good impression, she nearly ruined her chance at that with the church barbecue, only by the grace of far too patient people did she manage to come out of it with hopefully some friends. Dahlia doesn’t have the religion barrier in this situation, so she should be better off? She hopes, she doesn’t expect to be best friends with anyone or be welcomed like family, but the more people around here like her the better. Hopefully with Pratt there, some of her nerves will be tamped down on. She’s closer to her coworkers now and has a few friends, so it shouldn’t be too bad, despite her struggle with crowds and socializing. She crashes down onto her couch, yanking her hair tie out before she goes to sleep. 

She’s up early to take Cassie to work before she goes to the barbecue, the older girl bustling to get ready as Dahlia checks on the cookies. Her finger sinks right into one, still wet. Oh no. Maybe they just need some more time, yeah, that’s all. 

Once Cassie is safely at work, confirming a coworker is going to take her home, Dahlia heads back home. The cookies are still wet… She’s going to scream.  There has to be a way to make them set? She considers holding a hair dryer to them, but on second thought the heat may just make them melt further. 

Frustrated and the time to leave getting closer, Dahlia goes to get ready, hoping by some twist of fate that they’ll be set by the time she’s showered and dressed. 

Hair still damp, dressed but with a towel across her shoulders to catch stray droplets, she checks again. Cursing under her breath when they’re still just lumps of wet chocolate oatmeal. She might as well show up with a Tupperware container of slop. 

Dahlia slam dunks her failure cookies into the trash a little harder than needed before grabbing the store made sugar cookies. It’s probably for the best with the peanut butter anyway… She throws on her jacket, boots, and helmet before headed out west towards the Holland Valley. Pratt told her the Rye’s property is just outside of Falls End. 

Her shitty directional skills manage to not get in her way, thanks in no small part to the signs for Rye and Son’s Aviation. Small blessings she figures. There’s a driveway that cuts through the woods, a cozy house closer to the drive-way, then an outside building and the hangar beyond it. 

People are gathered in open space near the hangar, picnic tables and a grill set up. There’s an airplane out, a vivid yellow seaplane with a shark design. She parks her motorcycle along with the rest of the cars and trucks, still a short walk from where the party is. She’s searching for familiar faces, before she walks forwards, Pratt mostly. She doesn’t find him. 

Hudson is speaking with Mary May and two women she doesn’t know. One with long dark hair and fatigues, the other a noticeably pregnant woman with hair shaved at the side. They talk and laugh. Despite having felt a little less awkward with Hudson, since spending more time with her, the idea of interrupting or cutting in feels wrong. 

Whitehorse is talking to a man she doesn’t know, but judging by the pastor’s collar she can assume his job. Catholicism isn’t particularly common out here and the only catholic church she can think of is the one in Falls End. Not exactly comfortable jumping in there either. 

There’s not really an easy place to put herself in,  nothing that feels comfortable or right. Everything feels like an intrusion. 

“Everyone’s gonna think you’re a creep, if you keep staring like that,” a familiar voice taunting her, Pratt’s standing beside her and she can’t help but smile, tension easing. He’s a jerk, but he’s her jerk. 

“Shut up, dickhead, I was trying to see who I knew,” she explains, grabbing the store-bought cookies from the under-seat storage. If Pratt’s by her side, she feels a bit more confident joining in.  She’s not sure when he became a rock for her in a situation like this, but maybe it’s best not to question that.

“So, you just bought store crap?” 

“Okay, judgey, what did you make?” 

“Pff, I can’t fucking cook, the hell are you talking about?” 

“What,” she glares at him, if this was all an excuse to fuck with her, she’s killing him, “you said everyone cooks, no store bought crap!” 

“And you believed me? Food is food, no one gives a fuck where it came from, well there’s the one time the Seeds brough this gross ass mac and cheese, but that’s another story.” 

“What the fuck Pratt? I was up all night trying to make something edible.” 

“Take it that didn’t go well?” 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you.” 

“Hey Beau, hey Nick,” Pratt calls out and then goes rushing off towards the crowd, he’s leaving her. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Sorry can’t hear you, need to be near witnesses, bye,” he’s laughing through his words and she finds herself wanting to grab the back of his shirt, to drag him back just so she won’t have to go in alone. But that’s childish…so she watches as her rock runs off to join everyone else. 

And once again she’s the sore thumb and maybe if she tried, she could make a new friend. And maybe if she’d just get the courage to talk to someone, she’d be fine. And maybe if she wasn’t such a damn coward, she’d do that. But she’s been the outsider looking in for her entire life and there’s a level of comfort in the loneliness; familiarity in isolation. 

When she thinks of it, the people who breach that comfort zone rarely do so because either of them make that step. Circumstance, not courage, is what always brings people into her life. Pratt and Hudson are her friends, because they work together, Pratt more so because they’re made to spend almost everyday together. Cassie because she was in an awful situation and needed a home. Lloyd and Caroline because she needed one. Hell, Eden’s Gate members are the closest to it, but they still sought her out for another body in the flock, not because they wanted her as a friend. Circumstance, desperation, pity, and religious duty. 

And as her throat tightens, feet frozen in place as she debates trying to socialize, she realizes…maybe that’s okay. Not happy or pleasant to think of, but okay. She’ll stay in her bubble for another day or the rest of her life; one of the two. 

Dahlia throws the cookies back into the under storage and slips her helmet back on, climbing onto her bike, riding away from the barbecue. Music blasting in her ears and racing down backroads on her motorcycle; it feels like home. 

Songs change, hours pass, the sun sets and the moon takes it’s place with the stars keeping it company. She’s spent the entire day riding and her heart feels lighter for it, she thinks as she pulls over to get gas, filling the tank. The entire barbecue and cooking thing is a fucking fiasco, but she’s happy now and that’s what matters, so fuck it. She got to spend an entire day doing one of the things she loves most in this world and she has a friend, no matter how they got there, who’s waiting for her at home. 

Then her phone rings and Dahlia feels her heart leap into her throat, the hair on the back of her neck raising. That little sixth sense warning her that something is wrong. Because as she’s learned quickly, even her most minor of happy moments must be interrupted by total fucking hell.  It’s Cassie and her fear only raises. 

“Deputy…” And she’s brought back to the night Cassie called her, that broken and scared voice asking for help, no longer the happy woman who’d taunted her last night.  There’s something in the background; some sort of yelling and music. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I…I don’t know, someone broke a window, I, there’s yelling, they’re doing something, I’m scared to check.” 

“You’re at the Moonflower.” 

“Yeah, I, I don’t know what going on.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

Dahlia keeps her on the phone as she races back, a repeat of Wednesday night it feels like. Just when Cassie was feeling safe, just when things felt good, because of fucking course. She has no idea what hairbrained idea the Moonflower folks got in their head, she knows they hate her and fine, she gets it, but to scare Cassie like that is so fucking wrong. 

It looks like they decided to have their own party while so much of the county was away at the Rye’s. There’s a stench of booze around the entire trailer park. Rage is white hot inside of Dahlia when she sees the cluster of them around her trailer, a few cursing when they see her getting closer. She could give a fuck less about the damage, the broken windows or the PIG spray painted across the trailer, but Cassie is there. Curled up and crying, surrounded by broken glass as they shove and push at the home. 

“Everybody stand back!” Liam calls out; lighter in one hand, bottle of booze with a rag in the other. And she’s on him, tackling him to the ground beneath her. The lighter and would be Molotov thankfully fall away without igniting. Instinct and anger pushes her to raise back her fist and slam it into Liam’s face. 

She’s blacked his eye, skin breaking at his eyebrow and making his blood stick to her knuckles; then someone is grabbing her from behind, pulling her off of him. Dahlia slams her elbow back into the person’s gut, making them let go of her, she watches as Liam gets up, The crowd is surrounding them, no doubt ready to dogpile Dahlia if she tries to go after him again. He’s smiling and laughing, like an asshole, she wants to punch him again. 

“Quite a temper you got there, deputy.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” 

“Fuck is wrong with me? You’re the cop running around hitting people over a trailer,” he taunts her, reminding her that she should be better than this. 

“Fuck you, this ain’t about the god damn trailer!” 

“Wh-“

“Deputy…” A broken timid voice rings out from behind Dahlia, Cassie… When Dahlia looks over her shoulder, she can see her friend on the porch, just poking her head out from behind the door. Her eyes are wide and Dahlia wonders just how much of this mess she’s seen. 

“Shit…” Liam murmurs and the smirk is wiped off his face, eyes wide. 

“Everything okay, Cassie, I’m taking care of it. Go back inside, okay?” She watches as Cassie goes back in with a timid nod. 

“I… we didn’t know anyone was home…” 

“Oh so it’s all okay, everything’s fine ‘cause you didn’t fuckin’ know! You could have killed her, you dumb fuck!” 

“I-I’m-“ 

“Save it! Get the fuck away from me before I do something I regret.” 

Liam gets the picture, he has something more to say, everyone else there seems to too. But, no one’s stupid enough to test their luck or maybe smart enough to know this isn’t the time to talk. Once they’re all gone and she knows they’re not going to do anything stupid, again, Dahlia goes back to the trailer. 

Cassie is curled up on the couch, knees pulled up to her chest. The inside of the trailer is a mess; broken glass from windows, beer bottles, trash, rocks, and a brick that was probably used to break it. All thrown inside while Cassie sat horrified. 

“I’m so sorry,” Dahlia says and sits next to her, extending an arm to hold her. 

But Cassie flinches away, curls up deeper upon herself, as if Dahlia’s even attempt to comfort had scalded her. And the deputy’s heart seizes in her chest, pulling her arm back, seeing the blood on her knuckles. Did Cassie see her hit Liam? How much of her rage did she witness? Bloody knuckles, red faced, and nearly frothing at the mouth as she screamed her anger out… She must have seemed more like a monster than a friend. 

And Dahlia’s reminded of Genevieve all at once, the child of Dahlia’s mother and Father Monroe, the deputy’s half sister. The young girl, she’d be no older than eleven or twelve by now, was his blood and his golden child for it. And he told her of every one of Dahlia’s so called faults, sins he believed she committed, and convinced the child Dahlia was a monster in their home. And for so long she treated her like it; flinched from her affection, cowered at her sight, and shrunk away from her at every moment. As if Dahlia was the boogeyman, she fought for years with silly stories and blanket forts to coax her own sister into loving her. But, progress was always quickly undone. Every effort to chip through the wall he’d built between them was met with abuse, egging on her anger so he could make a show of her sin , so Genevive would always see Dahlia as the monster who’d spit her blood and bare her teeth rather than give in. 

Now, she’s there again, another person  flinching from her, terrified of the monster she’s shown she can be. Scared that one day those bared teeth will be at her throat instead of at another's. And Dahlia truly can’t blame her. 

“I…know it’s the only option…but I really don’t like it here…” 

Dahlia had wanted to offer an invitation for Cassie to stay, those passing ideas of having a roommate, how nice it’d be. At the time Dahlia thought she could keep Cassie safe, that this is better than the hell she had with her mother. And maybe for a few days it was, but if this is the kind of shit that can happen, all Dahlia’s done is taken her out the pan and placed her in the fire. Almost literally… Cassie could have been burned alive if Dahlia hasn’t made it back in time…

Cassie needs someplace else and the conversation with Whitehorse resurfaces, Eden’s Gate. They take people in, the only conflict she was saw was when Layla was at a store, but the church and the compound were safe…protected. They have plenty of land to house anyone who needs it and apparently they have the heart to do so. The Seeds can be a little off, but they’re not bad… 

“I got an idea,” Dahlia speaks up.

“What’s that?” 

“You got anything against Eden’s Gate?” 

“I mean, I’ve heard some stuff, but I don’t know much about them. I’ve seen Faith a few time and she seems nice.” 

“She is, they, uh, they take people in sometimes…I can take you up to Joseph’s church and we can talk to them.” 

“You think they’d help me?” 

“Yeah, I do.” 

“I think I’d like that.” 

“Okay then,” Dahlia jumps up from the couch, “get dressed and lets get you packed up.” 

“Right now?” 

“You wanna spend the night here?” 

“God no, lets go.” 

It doesn’t take long for Cassie to get dressed and pack everything up in the bag Dahlia got from her house. They may be counting their chickens before they hatch, already getting her things packed up, but Dahlia can’t see Joseph turning Cassie away. He’s too kind for that. And even if he were too, Dahlia will find something, even if she has to go barge on Whitehorse’s door. 

Dahlia has an arm around Cassie as they leave the trailer, hoping to offer even the smallest modicum of support. Cassie pulls on Dahlia’s helmet, at this rate maybe she should invest in a second helmet. And then with Cassie’s arms wrapped tight around her waist she rides out of the park. 

Eden’s Gate is quickly becoming one of the only good places to be in the whole damn county; they got to help her… All Dahlia can do as she rides through winding roads is hope that her faith in the church isn’t misplaced.  

[masterthespianduchovny]

1. Skewed power dynamics: as much as anti Gerri/Roman fans claims there’s this huge power imbalance and Gerri took “advantage” of Roman, that’s not the case. Their dynamic is complicated because there isn’t a clear cut more powerful individual, which makes their...entanglement compelling.

Although Roman is technically her boss, he doesn’t have any real power over and can’t make her do anything. Most of what she does for him is for the benefit of the company and, eventually, because she’s grown to care for him.

Where as Gerri has been with the company for literal decades and, despite her influence, she has no real power over him.

You have two very powerful individuals who don’t have power over one another, BUT we also see what their interactions bring out in each other.

And they use their power and influence to benefit each other. Gerri uses her to help Roman grow as a business man, be taken seriously, and have his father actually consider him at work. Roman uses his to protect Gerri and possibly pull her up if he can.

But, when it comes to Wyatt and Darlene, you have a woman who has significant life experience on her young lover. In the case of Gerri and Roman, Roman is a grown ass man. He’s graduated college and business, he’s lived life a bit—he’s not green. Yes, Roman has issues, which I will touch on, but it’s not a matter of youth for him.

Where as a large issue with Darlene and Wyatt is that this kid just graduated high school, is barely an adult, lost his dad and uncles, homeless, isn’t speaking to his cousin/best friend, doesn’t have a true support system, etc. He also doesn’t have any significant life/dating/sexual experience. Wyatt is involved with a recently widowed woman, of her own design, who is now a single parent. This is also of her own design and a infant child at that.

Those power dynamics are fucked up, which doesn’t include that not only isn’t Darlene not right in the head, she’ll also kill if need be whether or not she loves you.

Even in the best of situations, this situation is gross, but with all that we know about Wyatt and how they met (him in jail for trespassing and Darlene offering her home), it’s uncomfortable and concerning, which makes it difficult to be hot. Again, also, he’s 18 with no significance experience with anything besides grief and feeling betrayed.

They say that the human brain doesn’t fully develop until the age 25 (give or take) and Wyatt is a few years from there. He’s a kid trying to figure shit out and he thinks Darlene is his salvation and that they’re/he’s in love. Add the baby and poppyfields and...it’s just a lot.

2. “Acceptable” flipped age gap dynamics: For some, no age gap is acceptable. For most, 18/60s is never acceptable. But, for others, 30s/60s is fine even if it’s not for us.

Now, why people find Gerri and Roman hot is because, rather than the old guy and young girl trope, you have the older woman and young man dynamic. She’s smart, dresses well, is seen as attractive, and Roman is clearly attracted to her. In the media and society, after (young) women hit a certain age, we’re seen as unattractive and unfuckable. Yet, Roman talks about how he wants to pounce Gerri and can only get off if she berates him.

But, gerri also isn’t patronizing or infantilizes Roman. She treats him as a capable adult that she mentors and decided to partner with professionally.

The show doesn’t treat it as a given that young men would be interested in her (like they do for men in Hollywood), but also it’s not seen as absurd either.

And, to circle back around to Wyatt, you’re actually scared for Wyatt. Darlene is manipulative and dangerous, which is why many are grossed out by huge age gaps. Where as the Gerri/Roman dynamic doesn’t have those same red flags.

3. Mental/emotional issues: as mentioned, Wyatt has a lot of shit to work through and fucking the woman who houses him, presumably, will do more harm than help down the line. Darlene is “supportive”, but she ain’t quite right in the head and she’s already implanting ideas in Wyatt’s head to further her agenda.

With Roman, he has a lot of hang ups, which Gerri doesn’t judge him for and allows him to “work through” them with her. I’m honestly unsure as to how Wyatt will turn out mentally, emotionally, and physically after dealing with Darlene. But, Roman has actually improved personally and professional after he became entangled with Gerri.

4. Taste is subjective, but I think Gerri is more pleasing to the eye. And I think she has this stern, no non sense thing going for her, but also she can be gentle and thoughtful.

I think Gerri/Roman is 🥵 af because it’s adult and sophisticated, despite Roman’s crassness. Lol. There is also a fascinating complexity there as well. Wyatt and Darlene is uncomfortable and uncertain. These aren’t two equals and you’re really afraid for one of them—I am.

In addition, Roman and Gerri’s “sex scenes” are a mindfuck in the best way and they come across as two people who understand each other.

[sea-dukes-assistant]

Prince Philip Revealed: Chap. 5 -  “Incredibly happy. Just Gorgeous.”

There was no talk of sexytimes and I am extremely disgruntled. Dammit Ingrid, you were doing so well!

I’d taken the “broke af” descirption of LT BAMF with a grain of salt because, hello, officer pay, but wasn’t all that surprised to find out the majority of it went to his MG.  I reckon back in his day officers lived onboard ship and didn’t get stupid insane housing allowances...IDK the Royal Navy is weird, they tolerate face hair ffs (that is sarcasm because I am bitter that my Navy still hides behind the “hurr durr no gas mask seal” excuse).  Anyway Sir brought home what would in today’s money be $536 a week...again I dunno if that was base pay or with any allowances.

Anyway, even though he was Royal AF, he’d been so used to being essentially homeless and taking care of himself and being able to do What The Fuck He Wanted, his official entrance into the BRF was, as King Peter of Yugoslavia put it, “like throwing him to the lions.”  From the beginning, he hated the protocol and fuss and rules that “made no sense to him,” but he also didn’t outwardly make a scene the way it’s depicted in The Crown.  LT BAMF cared more about his fiancee’s/wife’s feelings to constantly have a bitch fit about it.

A lot of his rebellious attitude came from the fact that he lost all sense of his private life and was disgruntled at losing “the privilege of living in relative obscurity.”  This, in my opinion, is why he has from day 1 had a contentious relationship with the press.  

It’s the culture shock, more than anything, that I think was the reason behind Sir’s general discontent, not so much with his life but how different it was.  He came from an odd “royal but not” place where yes he had the bloodline but not the money, palace, titles, or “proper” royal upbringing.  Couple that with his schooling and not being “a gentleman,” and all of a sudden he’s put in a position where he feels he’s lost his identity and kind of been “absorbed” into his fiancee’s given her position, and well...it makes sense he’d need an escape from that.  That’s what the Thursday Club was, really.  Sea Duke’s former BFF and First Ever Equerry, CDR Mike Parker, put it best at the time:  “He was an orphan of sorts, and we [his shipmates] were family.”

People get this idea from The Crown that Sea Duke was just big mad over his wife “wearing the trousers” but it was none of that.  It was a combination of the aforementioned disgruntlement, culture shock, and apprehensiveness he felt once he committed.  It wasn’t “quit crying it’s not like he didn’t know!”  He knew ALL TOO WELL and it SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.  He’d said “I don’t know if I’m brave or foolish.”  Thankfully he was able to sort himself out and on his wedding day did not get cold feet (though he did have some liquid courage via a gin and tonic).

I think if some of this was even touched on in season 1, the peasants who don’t read (including Peter Morgan) might have a better understanding of the “why” behind his thoughts/actions, we might not be in the fucking trainwreck we are now with respect to TV Sea Duke.

Also, fuck Bobo and her cockblocking ass.  

[scullysexual]

I’m sure we all missed the boards.

😊 = Yes.

😞 = No.

😡 = It appears/happens and I’m mad about it.

❌ = I can be neither happy or sad about it. 

Case: After a homeless is murdered, Mulder goes on the hunt for a man-beast roaming Atlantic City.

Monster: The Jersey Devil.

Favourite Quote: Mulder, will you do me a favour, will you just go out and have a beer, will you take the day off. I’ll cover for you.

Would I Recommend It: You could skip it.

My Initial Thoughts: I only watch this episode in rewatches.

State: New Jersey.

Special Minor Character of the Episode: Rob, Scott’s dad.

Special Prop of the Episode: Mulder’s Jersey Devil drawing.

Inappropriate Mulder Humour: What’s eating that guy?

Inappropriate 90’s Terminology:  😞

Scully’s Favourite Sentence(s):  😞

Scully Doesn’t Suffer: 😊

Mulder Drives:  😞

Scully Drives: 😊 (she’s gotta drive herself back to DC)

Brief Case Appearance: 😊

Sharing Glasses:  😞

Scully Says OMG:  😞

Scully Autopsy:  😞

Scully Smiles: 😊

Scully Ditch:  ❌

Scully Pyjamas:  😞

Scully Wears a Skirt: 😊

Stupid Tiny Gun Watch:  😡

Mulder’s Hand on Scully’s Back:  😞

Mulder and Scully Talk on the Phone: 😊

Scully Costume Change Counter: 5.

My thoughts are below the cut as usual.

Does anyone else sing along with them?

The kids were singing two seconds ago.

Oh he’s gone.

Jesus Christ they couldn’t have found a better actress?

Was it really necessary for him to fall over? How did that advance the plot in any way, shape, or form?

“As tall as a house.” WOT.

Why are they shooting him?

I love her hair in this episode. Where does it go?

Porn joke.

I mean, you kinda walked into that one Scully by telling him about it in the first place. You have no right to be mad at him.

mEdiCaL dOcToR

She’s so pretty here.

Have you got a date?

Fkn CHUCKS the keys at her.

Aw she doesn’t want to drive back on her own. Mulder must be great company.

That was a long ass scene. Where is Scully?

I hope that kid realised how lucky he is.

Remember when Scully had friends?

He’s a jerk. He’s not a jerk.

Oh this dude.

NO.

NO NO NO NO NO NO.

There’s a load of long scenes in this episode.

Look at that drawing!

Of course Mulder would give up his room just to see a cryptic.

And now he’s regretting it.

This is why Mulder is paranoid. Cause he slept outside for a night.

Mulder’s in love.

Gotta put my hat on before I get out the car.

Soz Mulder doesn’t look homeless.

The DA is female. Good to know.

Fishing trip…I don’t understand these terms.

Metaphors!

Wait no that’s a simile.

The one dude looking at her.

I love their banter.

I don’t think Scully appreciates you talking with your mouth full.

I’m gonna chew people’s arms off as a defensive posture.

Got another birthday party.

He’s not jealous.

Yeah then the show doesn’t let you so…

Let him finish his food first.

Day trip to Scully’s university.

I love how Mulder hasn’t changed.

Tiddies.

The Virgin Scully.

“You’ll understand when you have kids.” Fuck you!

This is the most boring ass date and Scully knows it.

I’d tell him anyway.

That’s a big fat no.

The only person Scully should be going on is dates with Mulder to watch UFOs in the sky.

She’s not sorry. She’s happy. She can’t move quick enough.

Scully’s really pretty in this episode.

Imagine going cryptic hunting with your ex-uni professor.

Probably closer to Scully than she is you, Mulder.

Fair point.

So they hear the cop talking but the cop doesn’t hear Scully talking? She wasn’t exactly talking low either. Lass was practically shouting.

Whoa Scully’s voice sounded weird af.

The roll is so unnecessary omg.

Fkn shat myself.

I hate that gun. It’s so stupid.

So why doesn’t she attack Mulder? Oh wait she does. Okay, why doesn’t she kill him? Does Scully scare her off?

In charge Scully.

So does Mulder think she’s beautiful because of the affect she has or does he think she’s beautiful because she’s a cryptic?

Four people can really fit in one in a line?

Didn’t think they were allowed to show bare asses on network TV.

Look at her trying to keep up.

Well I don’t think Mulder and the cop like each other.

WOT is happening with Scully’s fringe?

One week later.

I always remember this scene from the BTS.

Aw she’s concerned.

Go away, Rob. We don’t like you. We being me and Scully.

The way she follows him and he looks behind him.

And Scully never had a life beyond this moment again.

The kid is adorable.

Final Thoughts: I don’t care for this episode. I spent most of my time looking at Tumblr. The scenes are too long and they don’t hold my interest for very long. This episode is a hit and miss with people and it’s definitely a miss with me.

[beerecordings]

kinda sidetracking here but what if marvin actually gave in to his guilt early on, freed jamie (before he was quite so traumatized) and made a fake story up?? told jackie "look! i found our baby brother! in the streets! he's safe now!" so jamie isn't in that box anymore, but he's still a little scared of marvin. and marvin is still paranoid constantly that jj is gonna hurt someone. everything is tense and the rest of the boys KNOW something's up but they can't tell what

ohhhh that’s gooood ohh my gosh yeah

i think it was @rachelclutch who wrote this story i really liked about Henrik like finding Jameson homeless? like he’d been thrown out by Anti or something and left to die so he was just wandering around trying to sneak food and sleep beside trash cans and stuff, with no memories, no identity, no documents, nobody to turn to or trust. so now I’m thinking Marvin could just like grab JJ from the box and explain this to him - “I will let you go. And I will let you come live with my brothers and I and be cared for in a big house. But you can never let them know that you were trapped here” (he probably tells JJ it’s because they’d be afraid of him if they knew he was a vessel for Anti, so JJ agrees, he’s desperate to get out of here and have somebody love on him finally). So to make the act work, he sneaks Jameson out of the house and leaves him in the streets. tells him to make do for a couple days and then maybe linger around Chase’s favorite coffee shop or the hospital where Henrik works. and then they find him and!!!! ahhhhh they’re so so excited!!! what are the fucking chances?? Anti must have let him go or lost him or something, maybe the brave little guy even escaped!!!!! and JJ is so shaken and confused about the world and a little traumatized from the days he spent alone in a world he knows nothing about that he probably couldn’t explain if he tried, but he promised Marvin he wouldn’t rat him out, so he doesn’t, he just says he doesn’t remember anything. and that’s okay, they tell him, hugging him tight, they’ve got him now and they’ll help him figure everything out and everything is going to be okay, you’re safe now.

But not everything is okay and Jameson does not feel safe, because the man in the cat mask is still there, watching him.

Jamie is not vindictive. He trusts that Marvin had him locked away for a reason. He doesn’t hate Marvin (doesn’t have the concept of emotional control well enough to decide that he hates Marvin), but he knows exactly who he is and remembers everything he did to him. and so the others notice, of course.

Jameson is shaky af around Marvin. Jameson does not meet Marvin’s eyes. Jameson does not touch Marvin or even sit close to him, does not seek out his company. He tries to make friends with all the others - in fact, he loves the others, from the first day he meets them, absolutely throwing himself at Jackie and Henrik and Chase and motherfucking flourishing in the love they give back to him!!!!!!!! but Marvin?? nope. nope. just keep your head down and be quiet. Marvin is his prisonkeep and he does not know where they stand, only that he is a dangerous person who could lock him away again at any moment.

And Marvin expects the others to get suspicious of him, cause this really isn’t going well, but guess what - they don’t!! Marvin would NEVER do something bad to JJ, of course. Oh my goodness, poor Marvin, JJ must be reminded of Anti when he’s around you for some reason!! Oh no, poor Marvin, don’t worry, we’ll convince him you’re okay!

oh, fuck, thinks Marvin. this was such a fucking stupid idea.

so of course the other boys are trying to very gently introduce Jamie to Marvin and teach him that Marvin is safe and loving. and now Marvin has to act like he really wants to be JJ’s big brother (in reality he can’t even look at him without getting nauseous from the guilt and he’s still pretty sure he’s dangerous to his family) and it’s awkward af and he’s kind of cold and annoyed and still stressed as fuck and on the verge of a complete nervous breakdown

I don’t know which of them would break first. Marvin would just shatter one day and start screaming it, grabbing Jameson and shaking him and explaining everything while all his brothers shout and try to get him off Jameson, who just starts trembling, in silence, cause he’s never understood Marvin and never will. Or one night Jameson is curled up with Chase or Jackie or Henrik, and they’re starting to realize something is really truly wrong between the two of them, and they tell him “if you ever need to tell me anything, you can tell me. if anyone ever tries to hurt you or make you keep secrets from us or does anything you’re not comfortable with - ” and then that’s all JJ can take, and he tells them everything, and asks them not to tell Marvin he broke the promise, but there’s no way they’re letting him get away with that. Jameson is distraught watching Marvin get kicked out. blames himself for it. but eventually he starts to understand better what happened and the way he was abused.

or, hey, depending on how long Marvin kept him before the guilt broke him, maybe this would be a more forgivable scenario, and Marvin would confess and apologize on his knees, and things could be worked out with a lot of time and a lot of therapy.

[tdotsspot]

2020.....

Wow, it’s been almost TWO years since I've posted anything on here. I’ve thought about it from time to time, but never sat to actually say anything. I just looked at my last two posts....so funny. This is why I'll probably always keep this....just to look back, see where I was, who I was.

But back to 2020 bc HONESTLY this year is the one to go. down. in the mother. fucking. books. 

2019 was literally the best year of my life. It was the year I did the most traveling, the year I made the most money...it was like, perfect until the end. I went to Puerto Rico and St Thomas....Atlanta, Boston of course, MARTHA’S VINEYARD FINALLY and even though I've been there 100 times, this was the absolute best. Of course having Dameo was a plus, getting to show him my childhood summers, but Unc let me use the Mercedes which I legit fell in love with, we met Danny Glover which was crazy, I got the brass ring on my first try lol, and we had a lot of good food. LA, was amazing, I miss it so much....NY.....I feel like I’m missing a city, oh yes, dc! That was a fun drunk night.

Late November for Britt’s bday we all went out and that was the first time I was ever real life drunk around his fam, but it was so much fun. The next week....nana passed. It was sad, weird....I hadn’t lost someone in a really long time, and I was there to see some of her last lucid moments. We definitely got closer over the last two years or so since I visited her a good amount, and it made me more sad than I thought. I’m glad I got to have those moments with her, it was cool to get a grandmother again. Made me miss nanny a lot though...

A few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant! It was planned, we were excited although tbh I was kind of freaking out. A baby??? Like a whole ass human? No more weed, liquor, or runny eggs??? HOW SWAY! I don’t think I was ready yet, and a few weeks after that, RIGHT before Christmas, RIGHT before we were going to tell the family, I had a miscarriage. Goodness, I really wasn’t ready for that, at all. Obviously it’s common, but I never thought I’d have one....I was healthy, in a healthy relationship....happy....how the hell did this happen? Unfortunately we already told our moms at that time, partially to help cheer ang, and I knew my mom would be hype as well. I knew it was early, but I told some close friends as well. The pain I felt from that, I just didn't really expect. It was, really sad....I delayed our trip to Boston twice because I really just couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed and sit on a train for 6 hours. I almost canceled altogether but KNOWING NOW THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO SHUT DOWN, I'm really glad we still went. It was reassuring to get my hugs from my mom, cry it out with her, and see the fam. Except Kendall was such a douche that visit *rolls eyes*. I did get to go see the friends pop up which LEGIT made my whole holiday. As such a huge fan, it was AMAZING, simply, amazing, and I got to enjoy it with my two older cousins and of course, the Dame. 

So that brings us to the new year of 2020. 2020 the year I think EVERYONE thought was going to be amazing, and maybe it will be. Maybe everything that’s going on albeit sad, overwhelming, insane....is in fact the year we all really needed. The Amazon was on fire, forever and as someone who truly cares about global warming that was super stressful. We almost had WWIII thanks to good old Trump, but boy oh boy....that was just the tip of the iceberg. A few weeks later AGAIN, I call my dr telling them I still haven’t gotten my period, my boobs hurt, and wtf is going on? She tells me to take another pregnancy test, which I thought was a joke because I JUST had a miscarriage weeks before, and yes we had sex, but we were ‘careful’. COME TO FIND OUT, my ass is pregnant again. I was, very confused...a little upset because I was planning on waiting a bit before trying for real again. I mean we just dealt with so much loss between nana and the miscarriage, I hadn’t even fully processed what my body just went through. I remember angrily buying the test because, those shits aren’t cheap.....peeing with the door open with Dame downstairs, (not at ALL romantic like the first time I told him) and looking down like....wait. “WHAT THE FUCK” about 3 times was said, I explained to dame this indeed does say I’m pregnant, but how?? 

30 minutes later, the world finds out Kobe Bryant died. There were a lot of emotions that day for sure. Even though I wasn’t a die hard Kobe fan or anything, for some reason this one really made me sad. Maybe because I was currently listening to a book his personal coach wrote; relentless....which is REALLY fucking good.

A week later, I'm confirmed via bloodwork that I am indeed pregnant and it’s time for take two! I didn't get excited until I passed my first trimester, just in case...but now at almost 26 weeks, I’m really excited to meet her. My babygirl! It’s still wild to know I’m about to be a mom, but I’m really pumped for both of us and I know we’ll make great parents. 

Ah yes, the mid march, covid 19 hits America. I was supposed to go on a three city tour to the west coast which I was very much looking forward to, before the world stopped. In fact, it was that very weekend, right after we had our ultrasound, the first and only visit Dame was allowed to come in, that everything stopped. A week or so later, a mid level of depression kicked in for me, which lasted about a month. I couldn’t believe that after WEEKS of puking and being dead ass tired, I was finally ready to work again, but I was Essentially unemployed. The west coast gig was a cute check, I had multiple events coming up that got canceled....weddings that got postponed, and all I could think about was I’m about to have a kid with no money. I went almost two entire months without making ANY money....luckily unemployment kicked in and I got a couple of grants I applied for because I really don’t know what I would’ve done. My mom of course was in my corner, and Dame would start working from home, but still fully employed so at least we wouldn’t be homeless. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of people in my boat, if not worse but I couldn’t help but be consumed with not making any money, and my 2020 year essentially being wiped out. 

Again, this was supposed to be MY year. Be a parent, make a lot of money, and I felt like I just fell flat on my face, in mud, and was suffocating. 

America’s approach to covid was trash, more and more people died...I was worried about my mom and aunts as they're older and more susceptible. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom, but thanks to technology! We literally FaceTime every day. 

I almost forgot! Red literally almost died. He got attacked by a pit that lives up the street and it was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. We just came back from a cute little drive, it was absolutely beautiful out, and I just remember parking, letting him out for a walk, looking at a dog running but I couldn’t tell if it was on a leash or not. I then realized nope, this bitch is not on a leash, crossing the street, and watching it whip its head at me and red and sprinting across the street to attack him. I was absolutely terrified. My baby red, is literally getting mangled by a fucking pit by the neck. I’m also pregnant and scared the pit is going to attack me, that my stress is going to cause another miscarriage, and that I’m probably going to watch red die in front of my eyes. I completely blacked out on the woman who was sloppily running to get her dog off of him. Had it been a minute more, max, he would’ve been dead. I still picture it sometimes and it legit makes me so sad, but luckily he pulled through after about a week of healing, and a huge bloody abscess that needed to be drained. 

THEN about a month ago now, George Floyd was killed on tape by a cop and it changed the world. Between Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery dying and being cooped up for months in the house, major cities went up in flames, literally. It was a revolution that Is still happening which has caused corporate America to shove ‘black lives matter’ down our throats like black people just popped up, shown privileged ass white people who refuse to try and understand, racist fucks that just hate us so much....and the list goes on.

That’s been our year so far! and it about to get shut down again because because aren't taking covid seriously. 

Pregnancy has been really interesting though....not at all like what they show on tv and the movies. I’ve been emotional as hell crying over my body  changing....constipated af to the point where I now celebrate any time I shit, hella uncomfortable....but I know when we see her face it will indeed all be worth it. Doing this back to back though like Dame envisions....I don’t know man lol. We shall see. She's due in about 3.5 months. Check in before then....

Tdot, out. 

[alciell-blog]

My Side of “MY EX AND HER HORRIBLE WAYS”

There are a few things that need clearing up- Other people have talked out and I have been encouraged to make my side known too so here goes.

I was dating this guy called Elijah. I had known him a while and things were going pretty good...Until I was warned about this guy my ex. Him and Elijah hated (still do as far as I'm aware) each other. I was warned to stay away from him but I am not the kind of person that listens to others opinions and I like to form my own (I even told this to him). We got to speaking and became very close friends. Ollie was dating this guy called Travis at the time. I was told by Elijah that he seemed a lot like our friend, Damon. After extensively looking into it I managed to catch the guy out and confess to being the other guy. I was trying to be a good friend, I personally know what dating an alter/person that doesn't exist is like and didn't want that for him. The truth came out and they carried on dating after.

My relationship got kind of toxic, I was broken up with for reasons I don't even remember and I wasn't even allowed to say I love you to the guy despite us just being on a break and stuff... My ex came in and told me that the relationship was toxic and I didn't deserve that and saying all these really nice things. His relationship with Damon had lost its trust and Killian was crying all the time... So when he asked me if he should end it, of course, I advised him it's not healthy. We had spent 2 days straight on the phone, he didn't seem to wanna hang up and neither did I. Time passed by so quick before we even noticed. After some time had passed him and Damon had broken up and me and him were still close, he suggested that we should get married on imvu and so I bought a marriage package, then he said we were getting married in real too.

After I asked what this made us he said we were dating and we got into a discussion about how long we had liked each other, I know if I like someone from when I start talking to them, I knew I would like him so I admitted to that. He said he liked me from when he first time we spoke but he didn't figure it out back then. We were together and things were going great, we had a fun time. Irl he had a lot going on... he was living with roommates, he wanted to go to bar tending school and he also wanted to attend university. I tried my best to support him through that. He came to me crying 1 day saying he was going to be kicked out of his home, he didn't have the money to pay his rent to his roommate and she was grinding him for it hard. I sent him the money, I didn't want my boyfriend homeless when I could clearly help prevent that... Occasionally he would not have money for food, bills, data to message me... I sent it all as best as I could to help him...

He never asked for that (and has reminded me ALOT that he hasn't) but when someone repeats how hungry they are 9 times...You start to look for ways you can help. I accumulated a lot of debt to try and clear up the money I was getting to help keep My ex on his feet and to keep going...He literally told me many times that I saved his life. There were times that I even went without food (I was in university and fending for myself) to keep him fed and homed. I wanted to keep him happy as he meant the world to me. One day he came to me and started talking about an ex of his, I got highly insecure but tried to brush it off... Most of the time when someone came into a room on IMVU he would tell me that they were an ex or him and them had a history so I heard a lot of stuff. I can't quite remember the deal with this girl but I just remember she played a big part in what’s to come. He needed money to go drinking, he had been working so hard at Bartending that I thought he deserved a little fun and he was so desperately wanting to go so I sent him money to.

Minding my own business, I get a call later in the night from him, randomly telling me he loves me and stuff part drunk and then hanging up. *Later he confessed that his reason for this was because some girl at the club (she was the owner of a hotel or something) started to chat him up, flirting and shit so he brushed her off and called me to show some love.* It was weird behaviour and sparked up massive insecurity in me, so I wanted to talk it out. My ex was busy and most of the time when I say I'm insecure he would tell me there was no reason to be... That doesn't help someone not be insecure... So I went to talk to a close friend of mine about it to see what I should do because I needed to talk it out to someone... I was in tears, I talked it out to the guy and his boyfriend... 1 went batshit crazy and started cussing out my ex, I told him its just me being insecure and I just need assurance, the other understood and told me to calm down and wait to talk it out with him. He was right of course... so I waited.

My ex got home, drunk af and called me because he needed me to confirm to him that he was actually in his room and not someone strangers, it was a funny convo and made me laugh so hard, we had a good night and I left the convo of my insecurities until the morning because I didn't want to ruin the good vibe for not only him but myself too. But when I woke up I was bombarded by messages saying I needed to fix stuff and that I needed to clear it up. Turns out they had a bust up with him about it all... I was pissed and upset, my day was ruined before it began and he was yelling at me to fix it or else he’s gone...I fixed it and he blocked me anyway.

After a while of being blocked I changed relationship status to single, he came back and yelled at me that he'd never actually broken up with me but now he was...and left again. I think all in all this guy has blocked me AT LEAST 20 times. The thing that I hate... is its always my fault. I'm blamed for everything and even when I'm supposed to be his "best friend" he still holds shit over me saying "well Alex you do, do some stupid things sometimes". But Even when others were chatting about him in a bad way...I would still defend the fuck out of this man. I ended up losing SO many friends because of him. He made me block some, he'd scare some away, he'd fight with them which meant I couldn't say anything in return... He’s called me a pathetic cunt, a piece of shit, told me he hopes I rot, a bitch, a twat, useless, heartless bitch, a tart (he meant it as food but in my country its still an insult so I'm posting it.), annoying, attention seeker... A lot of things and worse...

We bounced in and out of dating a while, then 1 day he broke up with me for a pathetic reason... I was confused at the time but the next day he confessed to being in love with someone he had previously blocked me for insinuating he loved (he did this like 3 times...). Then another time he started dating this guy called Zach. I was happy for him. Until I was told by a close friend of mine that Zach was currently still ERP'ing with him whilst dating my ex. I told him. He claims I did it to "wreck his relationship" but if I hadn't have said anything what would that make me? And no doubt he would have yelled at me for not telling him something "so important". I was being a good friend and not letting him get fucked over. But to him I was apparently "ruining a good thing".

In total- me and said close friend worked it out (it was a method for me to get over him...) I had spent over $2,000 on him... And there were times when the money I provided wasn't spent on what it was meant to be for... His blog made me cry HARD because of how it made me come across... Anyone that knows me knows that I am NOT an obsessive person. When I love someone I put my all in but that’s just what I expect a relationship to be like... As you can see, there was freedom unlike he claimed. He claims that I trapped him in calls and shit when in reality I waited for HIM to call ME because I’m TERRIFIED of seeming like a bother. I ALWAYS ask before I call someone unless I'm emotional, crying, anxious, having an attack or we scheduled previously to call at that time. I have every conversation I have had with this man so if any "proof" is needed...I got you.

After all this bullshit, me and him were Best Friends (he uses the term loosely because he uses it against me. “You’re supposed to be my BEST FRIEND” and “some BEST FRIEND you are” and shit when he’s mad). Being friends with him was good. Except when anyone showed me attention. Friends couldn’t hug me or sit close to me without being growled at. If I got a head pat he would growl at them, say “My Alciell” and cling to me. I started seeing another man to see how it would go and he said “how could you do this to me” saying I betrayed him and blocked me...then he scared the guy away for good...)

I'm going to be posting a separate story about @imortii and him after this post so stay tuned-

[yasminsqueendom]

Antique the Vamp Geek Pt 1 Ep2

CWs: Violence, death, blood consumption (again obvs), gov’t being assholes

A/N: More fucked up shit happening in the world. I promise it gets better. Please don’t just me harshly.

W/C: 1101 (another shortie)

Hey guys. It's Tique again bringing my fellow baby vamps updates on our….situation?...as I get them. So here's the news: by official federal gov't proclamation private institutions and corporations are now allowed to screen their members/students/employees etc. for the sanguinilis virus (aka vampirism). Related articles can be found on the station’s website.

What does this mean exactly?

Well, it isn't clear yet. Screening people for a medical status to determine employment or acceptance into an institution has, until now, been very much illegal. 

One thing can be certain….it isn't just people with vampirism that are gonna get hurt by this. There are a lot of folks with medical conditions that, if disclosed, might face difficulties with seeking employment or even receiving benefits. 

Let me give y’all some background. How did we get to this point?

So, as I’m sure many of you know, about 2 and a half years ago there was this video floating around of a homeless person being harassed by a group of asshole high schoolers. It was broad daylight and the man was wrapped  head to toe in worn out dark clothes. They ripped his clothing and saw that his skin was burning underneath. He tried to run, but the kids chased him down. They continued to rip his clothing and laughed while he cried from the pain of his flesh burning in the sunlight. 

Up to this point, this video is just a sick video of some fucked up bullies doing things that people have been doing since the beginning of time. Badass kids and helpless people are neither new, or particularly shocking. What happens next is what kicked off a bunch of shit that never had to be….

This old man, he got pissed. He popped off and bit those kids. Knick-knack patty wack, social media sucks. Now all of y’all know what’s up!

Excuse my morbid humor.

Anyways, he didn’t kill them…..intentionally. One of them managed to dial 911, but all the operator heard was the screaming. Yeah, that video haunted people’s nightmares for a long time. The kids were taken away in an ambulance, but the homeless man was gone by the time help arrived. All the kids were dead within 48 hours of being bitten. 

Now, this may seem like random info, especially since the assumption was made that the cause of death was severe infection of their wounds. In another decade, this incident would have made local news, or maybe even a nightly news mention. INSERT THE AGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA! 

Suddenly, everyone everywhere can see this incident. And people started talking. Particularly, baby vamps. There was this outcry of help among the newly infected, who had experienced similar acts of violence, but survived. They needed to talk to someone, anyone, about what had happened to them. Groups and forums were formed online. And then, someone decided to prey on that need. 

With the rise of “vamp” culture on social media platforms, there was an equally overwhelming uptick of religious push back. There were groups whose entire purpose was to condemn “vamp culture.” 

Then, there was the blacklight party a year or so later where it was planned that the club lights would go out and UV lights would turn on at midnight to bring in the new year. None of the guests had been notified, and it wasn't on the event page either. Three vamps began to burn under the lights. Several people were recording for their social media, and that sparked a whole new wave of outrage. Two of the vamps were beaten to death and left unattended for hours until the party was over and police arrived. The other managed to escape.

People still weren't totally convinced by this either. However, again, in the age of social media things come around repeatedly. It's almost impossible to forget an event with yearly reminders of all the places you've been and all the things you've seen. 

Lastly, the event that put the icing on the muthafuckin cake. A video surfaces of a man and a passed out drunk girl. Now, everyone assumes that he is going to assault her sexually. But what he does next is just as bad, as far as I'm concerned. He flashes his fangs and bites her on the wrist. She squirms a little, but otherwise doesn't react. He licks the open wound on her wrist, spitting on it and rubbing it in. Anyone who knows what it's like, is well aware of what he is doing. He is not starving,or he would have been actually sucking her blood. He just bit her to infect her. He's a fucking troll.

Naturally, the video goes viral, and everything is just fucked up. He leaves the unknown girl outside of a clinic. They pick her up and she immediately starts displaying similar symptoms to the boys from the year before. She survives, but she can't go outside when they release her the next day. Her blood tests are showing weird results and her wrist has already completely healed. 

Things only get more complicated from there. Words like “zombie” and “undead” floated around for a long time. The poor girl was taken away to a “medical” facility. Her family was never allowed to see her again. They are still in the process of suing for her sudden disappearance. The state they live in has been pussyfooting around with handling her case. I pray they get some closure in that situation. 

This whole thing is a shit storm. 

I'm so sorry fellow baby vamps. We came into the game at a bad time. 

I just think about people predisposed to certain hereditary conditions, or have family history of certain illnesses that may be overlooked because of a stupid blood test. Because of stupid people!

Im so fucking mad rn I can't see straight. And guess the fuck what? I'm thirsty af and my plug is not answering my calls and I'm scared because I've heard rumors about what happens when vamps go without blood for too long. And I'm so scared. I'm scared as hell so like if you know anybody that can help please share that info to help out other baby vamps. We really need that shit.

Umm

So I guess I could open the floor to my listeners..what do y'all think? What do you want to know. I'll try my best to answer. Send all your questions to the email listed on the station website. 

Ancestors bless y'all.

I just can't tonight.

Love Tique

[adamslynches]

i feel like whenever people talk about Andrews fashion taste/outfits it's compared to Neil & his gray homeless child clothes, they talk about him being better dressed which he is! you're right! but a lot of people forget the books timeline means the foxes wear terrible 2000's clothes (i think it's like 2006/2007) he wore those fashions and still looked good, which brings me to this: andrew in 2018 (now early 30's? i can't do math) pro-exy player using that stickball cash to dress fine AF when +

+ he’s required to go to fancy events. he & his husband making everyone both a little scared but mainly drooling over how good they look. not to mention, while andrew still maintains a mainly all-black aesthetic he finds the generic black suits most (str8) exy players wear boring so he always wears something more unique. esp when nicky & allison visit they always dare him to take it up a notch, the 3 of them have a mutual love of fashion imo. emo/goth andrew growing into fashion icon of exy!

I’m sorry that it took me so long to post this, anon! I really love this though, Andrew keeping his dark aesthetic but now he has the FUNDS to really splash out on more expensive clothes, and tailored charcoal suits and holy shit Neil is dying.

Even Allison is pretty impressed.

Still though, I think that once Neil gets used to being able to have a taste in clothes and being able to wear literally whatever he wants (under the guiding presence of Allison, Andrew and Nicky), he starts wearing nicer clothes and more fashionable clothes (rip Andrew).

God, thank you so much for this though I love my well dressed model pro exy player and his goblin husband

[honeylikewords]

Gimme your thoughts about Us, I’m still dumb af - You know who it be

I’m putting off an essay to write this but let’s ROCK and ROLL, BABY!

So, spoilers below the cut, just as a warning for anyone who still wants to see Us (2019), dir. Jordan Peele. If you’re unable to see the movie for whatever reason, you can feel free to read this and garner some ideas from it, but I still suggest seeing the film, in the end. A lot of this won’t make sense unless you’ve seen Us!

I normally don’t go out for too much horror, but I do think the Jordan Peele movies are legitimately great works of art, and very culturally relevant, so if you want to be supportive of black artists, black art, and the vocalization of the black experience, I highly suggest going to see these movies or watching them at home. 

They’re not actually overly violent or exploitative, and understanding that the violence in the films is meant to be metaphorical for the systemic violence perpetrated against oppressed groups helps to contextualize the stuff you do end up seeing. So, without further ado, let’s get into some Thoughts about some Cinema.

So, first of all, I have to say that I haven’t stopped thinking about this movie since I saw it at, like, 5:30 pm on Sunday. It’s been on my mind non-stop, and I’ve been fixated on the soundtrack, particularly “Anthem” and “Pas de Deux”, along with the “Tethered Remix” of “I Got Five On It”. I love the intentionally jarring combination of sounds, and how “Anthem” is directly reflective of the idea of the “U.S. Anthem”. “Us Anthem”. 

Jordan himself has been very open about the fact that the title Us is meant to also represent “U.S.”, and when Red is asked “what she is” and she rasps out “We’re Americans” it just... stuck with me. 

The nonsense-singing of “Anthem”, too, fixates me, since the scorer for the film has talked about how it’s the “voices of the Tethered”, and how they’re “angry” and “ready to get free”. We know that the Tethered cannot speak, which is a major and interesting facet of their life, to me, since they’re never given “a voice” beyond this kind of animal screaming and groaning. 

It’s what makes a lot of viewers see them as “sub-human”, but always gets to my heart and makes me think about the fact that they are so very keenly human. It makes me think about the repression of “lesser” languages, native languages, “non-verbal” languages. The Tethered DO have a means of communication-- clicks and rasps, cries and screams-- which definitely do pull at the human fear of “unnatural” noises, but also remind me of native languages that utilize clicks or throat sounds often not found in English. 

The Tethered are deeply, intimately human. While it is mentioned by Red that two bodies cannot share the one soul, that doesn’t mean to me that the other is soulless. I really don’t think that about the Tethered. I think that they are their own people, and that their rising proves that. They’re not hollow machines that just mimic their “original” on the surface, but are just people with their own souls, people who have been wrongly oppressed and mistreated.

Us is openly a discussion about the way we, as people and as Americans, treat “others”. Whether that means the racial other, the cultural other, the class other, the gendered other, or anything other system we try to dichotomize, binarize, or diametrically oppose to something else, it’s very definitely about the ways we abuse and mistreat people in order to systemically oppress them and gain from that.

Adelaide represents this interesting kind of class-traitor, in a way, because she rises “above the others”, both literally and figuratively, and instead of making an effort to free those around her, she just rises to the top and forgets where she came from. Whether that’s about assimilating into white culture and “rejecting” the culture one came from (joining in the oppression of your own people by claiming to ‘not be one of those kinds’) or about rising to a wealthy position and oppressing the poor, forgetting what it was like to be poor one’s self, or about any number of other things, that’s up for interpretation. But the issue is still there.

Jordan intentionally left the specific meaning of the film open so that every viewer would be forced to engage with it personally. Who do you, personally, help to betray? Who do you, personally, help to oppress? Whose suffering do you, personally, benefit from? You’re forced to grapple with that, and forced to acknowledge the reality that every single one of us is part of the issue. You only climb higher by putting someone below you, and this movie forces you to recognize that. 

I’ve heard people complaining that Us isn’t as good as Get Out specifically because it’s more open-ended, but I think that’s what makes both films fantastic and beautiful. Get Out brazenly exposes the direct experience of everyday black horror, and is completely open about it. It’s a one-to-one analogy. But Us is for everyone, making you wrestle with yourself. You are your own Tethered. You are the good and the bad of yourself. And neither one is fully good and neither one is fully bad. Get Out was a master-class in analogy, but Us is more of a metaphor; it doesn’t need to have everything laid out. Its horror and its beauty lay inside of its intentional cloudiness.

I’m really obsessed with the rabbit imagery, too. I love bunnies, and seeing them become symbolic of this horror really was an interesting take. Jordan himself has expressed being uncomfortable with and scared of rabbits, specifically because he can see that they’re “soulless” inside; he says that if you took the brain of a rabbit and put it in a person, you’d get Michael Myers. Totally void, just ready to hurt. And I think that’s an interesting take on them. He also points out that the image of rabbit ears, the shape of their head, mirrors the shape of the scissors that the Tethereds use.

I also love the way that rabbits are largely docile little creatures, but can bite pretty hard if provoked, and I feel that’s a good way to look at the Tethered. I don’t see them as inherently evil or violent, just pushed beyond their own limitations. They did what we all did as Americans: they led a violent uprising against their oppressors, then ‘peacefully’ took their place, all the way across America. They are us, for better, for worse. 

The choice to use the 80′s references really often also caught my attention; Jordan talks about how the 80′s nostalgia is this double-edged sword, since everyone is longing to go back, but not realizing the costs and weights of that, the evil lurking under the placidity and “wholesome American image” that the 80′s sought to project.

The all-American, apple pie, small-town fun and games of the 80′s also came with the Reagan administration, the AIDs crisis, the war on drugs, a massive rift between the rich and the poor (with a steadily more wealthy middle class expanding from just middle class into rich, upper middle class individuals and extremely poor lower middle class), and “sublimated racism”. We pretended, as a nation, that we were now post-racial, but that was such, such, such a huge lie.

So setting the memory scenes in the 80′s, using 80′s film references, 80′s imagery, 80′s sound-a-likes, the Michael Jackson stuff: it all points to the duality of what we love, what we are nostalgic for. Michael was a hero of the 80′s, but now... 

Speaking of Michael Jackson, notice carefully the costuming of the Tethereds. Red jumpsuit, single glove, ‘the monster is not what it seems’, the “Thriller” t-shirt... why, Jordan, one might think that you made the Tethereds look like Michael in “Thriller”!

Which he obviously did, guh-doy.

I mean, the glove/sharp symbol also is an homage to good ol’ shithead Freddy Krueger, too, but it’s definitely a potent nod to Michael Jackson. We know that Adelaide (now Red) had seen the “Thriller” video as a child, and that she wanted the shirt with him on it, so the image of the Tethered is this combination between the Hands Across America symbols and the Michael Jackson look in “Thriller”. Adelaide (now Red) never forgot. 

Also, god, Hands Across America? Talk about 80′s false optimism! It’s incredible how potent that image is for the issue being discussed. For those of you who don’t know, Hands Across America was an initiative in the 80′s to help end hunger and homelessness in America. The idea was that every person in America would join hands and form a line “from sea to shining sea” across the entire lower 48 continental states, and for each person in line, $10 dollars would be donated to the cause.

The event, of course, failed in many ways. First, there’s no POSSIBLE way for people to join hands across the whole continent; the terrain of the US makes it entirely impossible. Plus, the time necessary to conduct that would be incredibly exhausting for people standing in line! But what’s worse? The project did successfully raise ~$34 million, but nearly $20 million of that disappeared into “event costs”: paying the celebrities that endorsed it, paying the event organizers, et cetera. Only around $15 millions made it to the homeless and hungry. While $15 mil. is no small number, that’s.... less than half of what was raised. So where did all that go? Into the pockets of the already rich. It’s such powerful symbolism, especially within the context of the film.

Oh, also, while still on the 80′s talk, the opening shot of the film features a VHS copy of the movie C.H.U.D., a movie about “sub-human underground sewer dwellers” who rose up to eat the surface humans. These “CHUDs” were one-to-one analogies for the homeless and impoverished.

I cannot get over how strong the storytelling is in Us, I just can’t. I’m obsessed with it. I cannot help but wanna talk about it all the time! It’s so GOOD and I’m so FRUSTRATED that I’m gonna cut myself off here to stop from ranting about every teeny tiny thing and every big major thing because no one will know what I’m on about, but, seriously, do yourselves a favor and go see Us. 

This movie will make you have to sit down and think about whose suffering you’ve benefited from, and what you need to do within yourself to change this.

Also, before I go, I just gotta say I love, love, love the decision Jordan made about having the 1980s version of the hall of mirrors be “Native American” themed, only to have that “politically corrected” in the 2010s to be “Merlin’s Hall Of Mirrors”, which is just a facade thrown up over a still-racist, exactly the same hall of mirrors. The problem lurks within, never gone, just covered.

Also, that ties to the Kubrick connection (The Shining is a major inspiration for Jordan) and the genocide connection, so, uh, it’s deep out here, lads.

Anyway, I have opinions about movies.