#and I'm too angry to be polite about reinforcing them

[crimeronan]

i think what enthralls me most about mal/alina/nikolai is that i don't THINK the polyamory was intentional at all. or at least not the specific polyamory i'm reading. like, i think the intent was to subvert the trope of an angry rebellious royal and an angry rebellious chosen one who refuse to form basic political alliances through marriage even though it just makes fucking sense. and then i think the writers' further intent was to distance mal and nikolai from their worst shitheadery in the books by uniting them thru a deep emotional bond and genuine respect and trust and care for each other. like. it's an arranged-marriage throuple that has a lot of potential for toxic misery and the writers wanted to sidestep that by going "okay, but maybe it's more interesting if they're all friends who love each other instead"

then the EXECUTION of that concept is like. not only are nikolai and mal so chill with the other dating their girlfriend that that Alone makes the polyamory pseudo-canon, but nikolai and mal's friendship is also -- apparently intentionally?? -- written with a SHITLOAD of parallels to nikolai and alina's relationship???

i think the intention in THAT is to reinforce how nikolai and alina have a strong non-romantic platonic partnership. because nikolai does the same things that he does with alina with mal, too! who, you know, is a man! and who is not nikolai's betrothed! see! everyone is such good friends!! :D

and so of course the way it reads onscreen to me, spiders georg polyamory kitkat, is just. nikolai has two hands. and is bisexual. and wants to crawl into bed with both alina and mal so bad it's fucking UNREAL,

they're perfect. polyamory rights.

[panelshowsource]

now that s17 is over, how did you like it? it feels like most people either thought it was mild or weak, which makes me sad, so i stopped going to the discussion threads about it :""( i also don't see much anticipation for s18...

aww anon well, first, if you had a good time then that's what matters! so i hope series 17 brought you a little joy each week, that's what panel shows are for in my humble opinion 😚

because i know i'm about to word vomit some word salad, i'll throw out some s17 reactions + s18 thoughts below the cut! that way anyone who is sick of my nonsense doesn't have to scroll past it lmaooo

series 17 was a decent one! i don't think it's in the hall of fame, but it's definitely nowhere near the couple of "unwatchables" as they're (pretty unfairly) called. i've talked before about one of the downfalls of a season is when a group doesn't harness their dynamic and take control of the show — when they're in the studio and just sit quietly, waiting for greg to give them permission to speak, things flow well for the editors but the experience lacks. this is why s1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, even 12 are so silly and chaotic: the contestants were constantly fighting, interrupting or pausing judging, trying to convince or gaslight or challenge greg, just...speaking! talking! interacting! if that doesn't happen, taskmaster can just feel like show and tell, which is not when it's at its best

ultimately, this is why too many polite and well-behaved people in a single series is a pleasant watch but doesn't hit very hard. this series was exceptionally nice, we have to admit. joanne followed by steve may have been the "hang on a second ☝️" contestants of the series, but not by a lot, meanwhile nick and sophie were the loveliest, pretty quiet people and john was dead silent most of the time. actually, that was something that ended up surprising me — john was so focused on the tasks, so focused on winning, most of the time he didn't pause to give significant, funny commentary while filming, didn't give us *nearly* the banter with alex i anticipated, and was particularly quiet in the studio. i knew he'd be in it to win it, don't get me wrong, but he approached taskmaster more as a richard herring than an ed gamble, if you know what i mean. it was very funny to me when he was on the tm podcast and was more or less like "i know i didn't prioritise being entertaining" lmao that earnestness can be sweet, because i do like to watch the show imagining how i would do each task, but his ~no nonsense~ approach was turned up to 11 for a lot more of the series than i anticipated. i almost wish john had leaned a little more into his self-aware neuroticism and competitiveness just because that's generally a good character on taskmaster — and this series was definitely missing that

(you know, talking about this really reinforces my belief that kerry godliman is perhaps the most perfect taskmaster contestant...ever. competitive, no nonsense and full of nonsense, top bantz, stands up for herself and tears down others but fights without being genuinely angry or butthurt, doesn't know enough to try and figure out a workaround for every single task, loves and bullies alex in equal measure... just love the woman. love her. fuck it, same for jess knappett. i miss my girls😭 this is ALSO why i think rosie is a great fit for tm)

anywayz i haven't read mucho mucho discourse about series 17, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's the vague "criticism" people: just more lowkey vibes than other series. but some people prefer that, so..!!!

i think, too, too many people look back at series 1–...7? at least and want to see the same greg–alex dynamic, approach to the prize tasks, approach to scoring, lil tricks, what have you — and that is not gonna happen again. ever. for example, greg and alex have talked too many times about how hard they try to score things "fairly" because that's become such a big point of conversation for the viewers at home and, atp, even the contestants. personally, i don't prefer that. fuck fair! this is not a real competition it's an entertainment show!! when greg was throwing out points willy nilly, bonus points for eating hair, giving 5 points to a prize just bc it's his personal sense of humour and ranking another contestant's prize low every week just bc that's a funny recurring joke/dynamic, whatever. i do not care. give phil wang 1 point every time. points schmoints. but that cannot happen anymore because the viewers starting taking the points so darn seriously. (not to mention the opportunity to do coc is now pretty coveted for its $$$ and exposure, too, i'd imagine.) the same goes for greg leaning into his dictator role, the master/slave relationship between him and alex, alex being super stoic and quiet — not only does tm think those characters and dynamics are played out, but in some ways the audience has evolved beyond all that

my point is that people get caught up in the Old Gen Taskmaster that hooked them and can't accept the ways in which the show has evolved — even if it's in their opinion for worse. do i think it would kill taskmaster to go back to slightly less convoluted tasks and commit to the 1–5 point system instead of constant ties (or "this was a 3-point effort")? no. i would like to see that lmao but i don't view the series through the lens of a series 1 fan anymore, either. a reality check would help a lot of complainers

i did read one thing i thought was interesting — that with the huge number of series we're at with tm uk, and now the accessibility of other countries' spin-offs, there is a bigger and bigger pool of God Tier Taskmaster to compare each new series to. it used to be "hmm does this new series stack up against series 4, one of the all-time greats?" but now we're stacking new series up against the top ~6 of tm uk, tm nz s2, a couple of the tm belgiums, tm aus s1, and so on. competition is stiff!! not many series can be The Very Best Of All Time, so with each new tm uk that isn't, people start to feel like the show has gone downhill when it probably is stagnant at worst. does that make sense?

i don't wanna sound like every criticism of tm can be explained away or comes from a bad place. as i've mentioned above, i have my qualms. this series, one of my major qualms and seriously unpopular opinions was that i didn't like that steve wasn't actually bringing in prizes half the time. like, he was doing bits and they were funny bits, but greg was scoring him mad high for the effort he put into his bits instead of the actual prizes he brought in for entry. i stand by that opinion, but the thing is i didn't let that ruin my experience of the show. but, maybe, it just comes down to the fact i want to like it...so i do ^^

maybe i talked way too much about criticism and negativity hahah some things i really enjoyed from this series:

nick is probably the second person following john kearns who i actively disliked before taskmaster specifically because i had only ever seen their comedy characters doing dictionary corner or a bit of standup — and i really didn't like them. (still never seen ted lasso!) lo and behold, they go on taskmaster and are S Tier Sweethearts and i see them both in totally new lights! in fact john's last standup show is being released shortly and i cannot wait to watch it — which me of the past would never believe i'm saying lmao so i'm so grateful the show opened my eyes to what a funny, sweet person nick is!! and may i say his and john's styles in the studio are massively underrated. they are both incredibly snazzy dressers!

steve and nick were a sweet little team weren't they! i think it would have been funnier to have john x sophie (the best and the worst, in their own ways) vs. the more harmonious steve x nick x sophie, but regardless it was very cute stuff

the location was great! i fucking love a big open field, i fucking love a river

greg has had some really strong intro "speeches" the last few series and i loved his this time around. they're just equal parts stupid and weird + his authoritative, classic greg delivery always makes me laugh heh

some of the strongest live tasks in a while!! catching the little monsters, passing the loo through the tube, bouncing the ball on the bar — all felt like quintessential uncomplicated classic taskmaster parlour games and they were good fun

TONS out outtakes content!

and gosh it's wonderful to have a new little hour of pleasantness to have each week :)

regarding s18... it's an interesting lineup! in a good way!! i think rosie's character is more or less a perfect fit for the taskmaster format. obviously she is one of the biggest female comedians in the uk right now, but i didn't bet on her doing tm because i didn't think the show could commit to accommodating her disability for 10 episodes. and, frankly, they may not — and i guarantee she is completely okay with that. she was born from the rhod gilbert school of showing up to fuck around, and i sleep soundly knowing she will do just that. i really like jack dee and i'm happy for alex to have made it work with him. it typically wouldn't be my choice to have two senior comedian white men on one series, and (unpopularly?) i'm not really a zaltzman person, but i have no doubt he'll be quite charming. emma sidi is part of the alex horne bubble of friends i have mentioned a few times before, but i actually don't know much about her. babatunde feels like a sensible fresh pick since he's been doing more variety/panel shows; i don't watch him on googlebox (which i love) because i don't like mo gilligan (very unsorry about this opinion heh), but what i've seen of him i've enjoyed! i don't think the group's dynamic is obvious just from their list of names, but the fact they're all comedians is VERY promising and makes me supersupersuper happy — all comedian lineups are historically the strongest. so yay!! but can you imagine who will be on a team?? god imagine a jack x rosie team lmfaoooooooooooo i live for the thought

hope that made sense and if it didn't whoops! don't mind me heheh

[radioactivewisdom]

How do you deal during the times when you have to be around people and have no choice in it? I'm only really around people at work, I don't socialize at all. I used to be very insecure and envious of the friend groups and cliques among my coworkers. A lot of FOMO and wanting the validation of being included in something, when it seemed like I was automatically excluded. I had a few friends growing up, as a child I was very confident, outgoing and friendly. But even then the friendships always seemed to go wrong and the little girls I was friends with seemed insensitive, and even tyrannical in a way. As a young adult I had a lot of social anxiety and always worried about what others thought of me even though I never actually liked them. I've gotten over wanting to be accepted or liked by these people, I know that they aren't shit. I feel like I have a much better read on them, which lessens my anxiety. But as my anxiety lessens I ironically feel even more intolerant of them, more annoyed, irritable, etc because I see through them and their fakeness aggravates me. I feel fake sometimes too because I still have to play nice on the surface to avoid drama. I want to be in my own bubble, emotionally separate from people even when I have to be around them. And in a way I am, but they still manage to influence my mood and make me question myself, make me sad, angry, etc. How do you prevent others from ruining your mood and stay separated from them?

I have complete faith in my beliefs, which makes it easy for me to disconnect. I no longer feel much of anything except empathy for those who are still stuck. The potential for true connection still exists, and I always remain polite, even to those who I disagree with. Perhaps I’m also lucky to have always preferred spending time with myself. I’m able to retreat and find comfort within my own mind no matter the circumstances.

It’s not uncommon to want to connect, and I truly sympathize with your past feelings of exclusion. Groups present the most trouble though, and it’s better to make even one genuine connection in this life than to get caught up in larger dynamics. The little is the big, and you’ll see the same power plays that are attributed to larger societal structures playing out in those crowds.

I once felt irritated with others, and even outright disdain. I suggest you feel all of this, as I think the only way out is through. Suppressing feelings, even if negative leads them to bubbling back up later on. After some time, you’ll come out of it and positive feelings will emerge in place. My past anger was actually super important to reaching new understanding and arriving at newfound happiness.

I suggest that you lean into one of your gifts and spend more time with yourself emotionally. Some people find mantras to be silly, but they actually helped me a lot on my journey. We internalize so much from the outside world, and even with new insight, making these changes permanent can take time. Especially when feeling overwhelmed, I would repeat to them to myself. “I am above this and it does not serve me,” “My happiness comes from within me,” and “what is meant for me will come.” I don’t believe this requires any metaphysical or spiritual beliefs to work either, you’re positively reinforcing your brain which leads to changed behavior.

Patience is key as the process isn’t always quick, nor easy. I once hit rock bottom and truly believed I’d never come out of it because I was overcome with despair about this world. It took a few years, but I am genuinely the happiest I have ever been in my life. I wake up excited even knowing I have a boring day ahead, and the right connections have found me. I hope anything I’ve said can be of help to you. You’ve arrived at so many right conclusions and have heaps of potential. You can make this life work for you, and even have fun despite the circumstances :)

[toodumbtosayontwitter]

Toxic parents bark orders at their adult children like they're their own personal stress ball. "I'm unhappy and insecure in my own life and lack of accomplishments, so I'm going to yell and nitpick at every little thing you do, squeezing your emotions until you're a crying quivering stressed-out mess because only then will I feel a little better about myself. And nothing you do can or will ever be good enough to make me stop treating you this way." [Because the problem is inside the parents, not their children.]

Personally, anytime I'm visibly happy, their reaction is consistently... *yell, nitpick, backhanded "compliment", insult, order, threaten, order, order, gaslight, threaten*

Rinse. Repeat.

Anytime I'm having a bad day, am visibly depressed or hiding in my room... *laugh, insult, threaten, order, order, threaten, order, threaten*

And, miraculously, parents always seem happier and less stressed after doing this. Like they've just barged into their adult child's life to put a psychological squeeze on the child so the parents can relieve themselves of their own stress by transferring it to someone else.

I am not your stress ball. F*** you.

Somehow, they understand that training animals is always more efficient with a mix of positive and negative reinforcement. But when it comes to human beings, the only acceptable form of communication they believe works is hateful authoritarianism.

Like, it sucks you got bullied in highschool and now you're looking to have that power over someone else, but that doesn't make you a good parent. It makes you just as bad as the people who hurt you. It makes you an absolutely abhorrent parent, a bully, and a narcissist. Stop. Grow up. Get therapy like the rest of us. Stop making your child's anxiety and depression worse by burdening them with your own. Jfc

I can be as polite and sweet and obedient as a robot around them, but they will still find any tiny little thing to flip out about. And if there is nothing to get angry about, they will get mad over something they assume I will do wrong in the future. Nothing is ever good enough. Nothing ever will be. And any expression of emotion that is "too positive" or "too negative" will be taken as a personal attack on them and met with threats, insults, barked orders, and more threats.

It's no wonder I'm an introvert with social anxiety when the people closest to me are an absolute nightmare to interact with anytime they are not silently watching TV or literally asleep.

Trying to not let those monsters live in my head rent free more than absolutely necessary, so cutting off the rant here. Anyway, I deserve better. And to anybody else who has experienced this: you deserve better too. Sending love and strength.

[tswift]

hi so i’m never usually the person to send anon asks especially not to be like…. “arguing” or otherwise stirring up unnecessary drama and certainly not to make anybody feel bad, but i wanted to give some of my perspective on the whole anti hero mv scale issue, if you might let me. i def wanna make it clear that im not looking to be a jerk or say that you or anyone else is wrong or whatever at all. i do respect your perspective on this and i hope that’s clear throughout this!!

anyway i’m not the best person to speak on the issue from this side but ive spent a lot of time today trying to understand why people are taking issue with that part of the mv because admittedly, i definitely don’t feel right about it and ive wanted to get other peoples opinions, esp those who are the most impacted by the video. to me, it seems like people are less trying to call taylor fatphobic or cancel her or whatever, but rather they’re pointing out that the creative decision she made plays into fatphobia. no matter how you look at it, even when we consider her struggles with body image and eds and horrid experiences w the media and fans etc in this sense, it still doesn’t erase the narrative being perpetuated (or i’ll say implied because to be fair, we can’t know exactly what she meant or how she meant it) that being fat is bad, or that it takes away from your worth, etc. i am positive that she never would have put this out there intentionally, knowing that it can potentially be deeply harmful. however, that doesn’t change the fact that there are seemingly a considerable amount of people who were somehow hurt by this portrayal.

i’ve seen plenty of people of all body types with varying opinions here, but personally i do fear that it would be very harmful to just ignore and write off the voices of actual fat people who are saying that they feel hurt, or upset, or angry, or disappointed. even if we happen to disagree, it’s unfair to not even attempt to understand where they’re coming from and empathize with them here.

i’m sorry to bug you with this, but i hope that we can all kinda try to empathize with and understand each other a little more here. i’ve heard a lot from people with this particular viewpoint and i’m totally open to the other side as well :) i hope you’re having a great release day!!

Hi there! I must admit I was tempted to not read this because it's so long and I'm exhausted but you were super polite and thoughtful so I had to answer!

I've also spent a lot of time on twitter today reading various perspectives on her use of the word "fat." And I agree, that the video does reinforce that the word "fat" is something that should be viewed as derogatory.

HOWEVER, this is an extremely personal and vulnerable song that is about her individual experience. I think one of the reasons she really stressed the nature of this song is probably due to the scale scene where the word "fat" is featured.

I do not believe Taylor is making any kind of statement about being fat, or how we should react to the word. She is instead illuminating how the word was weaponized against her, specifically. And that the media played a huge part in her eating disorder and body dysmorphia.

The scene is basically the "bad" version of herself, the version who hates herself enough to let these very public criticisms of her body bleed into her own self-image. If anything, the scene is telling the audience that using the word "fat" in a derogatory way IS harmful and wrong. She could have easily put "flat ass" or "too skinny" and it would have the same effect. It's the very fact that there are people out there commenting on her body enough to either give her an ED or worsen an eating disorder she already had before becoming famous. We also need to consider how much of the spotlight Taylor is in compared to someone like me or you. You may have two or three people comment on your appearance in a negative way, well she has millions commenting and speculating and criticizing. Fatphobia is extremely prevalent and it was much worse even just five years ago.

But all of this does not change the fact that music is art and it's deeply personal. Not always, but this song is EXTREMELY personal. She did not make a song about the daily struggle of human beings, she made a song about her OWN struggles.

I think it would be disingenuous to the song and Taylor's own experience if she erased or altered it because people may watch it and make the song about themselves. This is a very rare time because this song is not really as universal. Like yes we can relate to having anxiety about our appearance and what people think of us/etc, but this song is specific to Taylor. She should not silence or rewrite her own history and trauma. She should not have to deal with people commenting and judging her on how she chooses to heal. Recovery is a long and winding road.

I hope this made sense. As someone who also has an ED, I did not find the use of the word offensive at all. I actually found it comforting to know that someone else out there feels the pressures of society, a society that tells girls too many harmful things and expects them to just accept it as a fact of life. But the bottom line remains: this is not about me or you. It is about her.

[tarnishedxknight]

CRAYON - What advice would you give Basch? -tarnishedxjudgement

{out of dalmasca} I'll talk directly to him because why not, heh. *cracks knuckles* Here I go...

Alright. Basch. My dude. My guy. *tent fingers* Listen to me for a second. Defend yourself a little more. Like... it's okay to want to be That Guy™ who always de-escalates a situation, who keeps the peace, and who doesn't give into provocation, taunting, or goading. That's good and admirable. However... it is another thing entirely to let people treat you poorly or let them walk all over you.

Ashelia slapped you and you just stood there. I get that she was angry/hurt and you wanted to give her an outlet because you care about her, but that was not okay what she did. It wasn't okay on a human level but it also wasn't proper behavior for someone who is going to rule a country someday. By letting it stand, you actually taught her the wrong thing and reinforced bad/childish behavior. I know you care about her future and being a part of shaping her into the ruler you know she can be one day, so you should have at least tried to offer her a bit more feedback/guidance in that moment. A simple, "Princess, please calm yourself," would have been short, to the point, reminded her of her station and therefore the behavior she should be displaying, and wouldn't have been rude or condescending to her. Whether to not she listened to you is on her, but your silence let her childishness stand uncontested.

In my opinion, you should have given Vossler a much larger piece of your mind. You said some things to him, and that was good, better than your normal silence, but he was way out of line and as someone who used to be your subordinate, he should have gotten more of an earful from you about his behavior and morals. Regardless of what had happened to you, he was still in a position of power in Dalmasca, and his behavior was absolute bullshit. Not wanting confrontation is okay, but not confronting someone who should be confronted only makes things worse. Had you spoken to him in depth earlier, maybe the duel would not have been necessary at all. You'll never know because you never tried.

All those people who were saying terrible things about you in Bhujerba and Old Archades... Bruh. I'm not saying you should have yelled at every single one of them, or even confronted any of them at all, but at least within your own party, act like you care a bit more. It is very noble to not let gossip affect you, especially when it is politically sensitive gossip during wartimes. But to say next to nothing about it and shut down most conversations others in your party attempt to have about it, just makes you look like you don't have much self-respect. You came across as a bit of a silent, kicked puppy half the time when I knew things were really bothering you on the inside. It's okay to speak up for yourself. It isn't rude or selfish, it's just plain good self care.

In short, I get that you're a quiet guy and that you pick your battles. That's great, it really is. But it's also okay to respect yourself, defend yourself, and call out when people are treating you unfairly, unjustly, or cruelly.

Also, side note... Let go of Ashelia. If you're going to make the decision that she's out of your league, too young for you, too good for you, or all of the above, then accept that and move on. Don't write it off as a complete failure before you've even told her how you feel but then continue to pine for her for years. Either tell her how you feel and see where that goes, or move on. You deserve to be happy, not in love with an ideal that can never be.

[twiceasfrustrating]

Hey I know request last are closed but your my favourite writer and I was wondering if you could do an angst for Beelzebub that compares mc to being so disgusting he would rather eat Solomons food? Please make it really heart breaking. If you don’t I’m really sorry for wasting your time and I apologies sincerely

I'm about to sound like a raging bitch, but you know what? Fuck it. I'm too annoyed to play nice in internet land today. I would normally just delete this request and move on, but it just happened to be my last straw.

Requests are closed. They've been closed for weeks. You even acknowledge that they are CLOSED. Yet, for some reason, you still feel the need to drop one in my inbox? As if you are above the rules or boundaries I set? Did you think that would make me more likely to take it? Because, spoiler alert, it does the exact opposite.

I even said this not that long ago to a different anon.

I gave that anon the benefit of the doubt because I got their ask not long after posting they were closed, so it's possible (in retrospect) that they were marked open when they started sending the ask but I closed them before they sent it officially. I am more than happy to look at requests when they are open, but I don't give a shit about the ones sent when they are closed.

IT IS LITERALLY MY FIRST RULE ABOUT REQUESTS!

I usually just delete requests that people send when they aren't open, but this one just pisses me off in a special way because you explicitly state that you know they are closed but you just really had to send yours for some reason. It's like a slap in the face.

"I know request are closed but I was wondering if I could ignore that fact and do what I want anyway regardless of the answer because my own desires are more important than your stated boundaries." That's how this reads to me.

You don't know why my requests are closed. Maybe I'm busy irl, maybe I'm going through something, maybe I just don't want to write or plan or edit an entire fic that gets distressingly little feedback for the amount of time I put into it, maybe I want to work on more personal fics than requests, or maybe it doesn't matter what the reason is because it's really easy for you to just not send anything when they are closed. In fact, it takes less time than it did for you to type this request.

While we're at it, fuck this too.

It says a lot that some people can't be bothered to check what people's limits are and just toss things at them for some fucking reason. Do y'all think your above their boundaries and limits? Do you think if you ask nicely enough you can manipulate your way into convincing them to make you something?

I am not a content machine, no matter how much I seem to produce. I am a person with an actual life outside of writing whatever people send my way. I have rules for a reason. I have a request status for a reason. I do not care how "nice" or "polite" you think you sound when you send something someone explicitly does NOT want; the fact you sent it is already rude as fuck.

I don't care if I sound rude in this. I really do not. I care that I make it clear that I have boundaries and rules in my space/blog and if you can't follow them I don't want you. I don't want someone who thinks my limits are a suggestion rather than something to be respected, especially when you knowingly trample on them.

This was just my breaking point because some of y'all have been testing me and other writers/artists lately with your lack of respect for the people you claim to like. It's fucking gross. We are not machines creating shit for your amusement. We are human beings sharing something we like to do with you.

Get that through your head and respect the rules.

[awed-frog]

What I don't understand is how angry people get when they are told that obesity and being overweight are both risk factors for poor covid outcomes. I was already working on losing weight but that lit a fire under me. I shared some of my weight loss journey to help. The pushback was insane. It's not a moral judgement, I'm overweight too! Boomers can't help their age, but weight is changeable. Diseases don't care about hurt feelings. Anything we can do to better our chances should be priority one.

Hey, first of all congrats on making good decisions! It’s not easy but you’re right - if you’re overweight or obese, now is a great time to take care of your health and reduce your risk to catch this thing, so KUDOS!

(Really: I know we’re all panicked af, and I’m not shaming anyone who’s gaining weight because of a stressful home situation or emotional eating or anything, but developing healthier coping mechanisms is absolutely crucial, and we all need to do our best there.)

As for the why, I think there’s several reasons.

First, nobody knows anything about nutrition. Even doctors barely study the subject in med school, and for most of them it doesn’t go beyond ‘What foods to avoid if you have turtle vomiting disease’ and the like. The idea that nutrition may be the best form of preventive medicine is still beyond reach for most healthcare professionals. As for regular people, we’re not better off. Most of us discussed nutrition maybe twice in formal education - I remember a two-hour lesson on what calories are, and about six cooking lessons which only featured party-appropriate foods and a few cakes.

Second, the issue is complicated by the fact food is not just how we keep our bodies alive. For mostly everyone, food is about culture, tradition, habits, personality, comfort, being shown affection and showing affection to others. Food is not neutral, and that’s one reason why recovery is so difficult for people with eating disorders, and why people who need to change their diet because of specific health concerns find it so challenging to let go of certain foods. 

Finally, and possibly most importantly, the food industry profits off low-quality stuff and it will fight to the death to protect its turnover. Politically, they lobby against any kind of regulation, from safe working conditions in their factories to clearer labels for consumers, but they also target people directly. On top of increasingly sophisticated marketing and lab-perfected recipes, the industry actively funds biased research and makes sure disinformation is spread. Back in January, during my no-sugar month, I read a French book detailing how this works in France - it’s beyond scary. As with smoking and climate change, the goal is not winning the argument but confusing people. ‘One day you hear [food] is bad, the day after they say it prevents heart disease’ - one of those two facts is complete bullshit, but the damage is done. People are fed up and automatically revert to the path of least resistance, which is littered with soft drinks and junk food.   

(I don’t want to add fat activists to this list because I’ve never seen any studies on how influential they are and how many people they brainwash, but while their ideology may not be a huge contributing factor to the mess we’re in, they certainly don’t help.) 

The result of all this is that people mostly grow up steeped into what some call ‘fat logic’ and never manage to claw their way out of it. We live in an obesogenic environment; we accept the idea people put on weight during college, with pregnancy, as they age; that weight gain is mostly inevitable and irreversible; that how much you weigh is out of your control, down to genes and luck. And for most of us, disastrous attempts at fad diets only reinforces the belief nothing can be done and you should just find a way to accept yourself and be happy. 

If you buy into these arguments, then yes, you’re going to be angry and resentful af. It makes complete sense. You’re surrounded by enticing high kcal food and encouraged to snack all day long. Meanwhile, you’ve got fat activists on one side, actively spreading the idea that telling people to lose weight is basically conversion therapy, as weight is as unchangeable as your skin colour or your sexuality, and governments on the other, focusing on the ‘personal responsibility’ message, which further reinforces the idea weight gain is a moral failure. It’s a complete catastrophe.

On the whole, I’m not surprised people react so negatively. I want to hope this virus can be a watershed moment and bring about systemic change, but for now it doesn’t look likely. Still, I’m dreaming of a better future of sustainable food production and the industry heads being dragged to the Hague. No law against optimism, is there?

[autumn-foxfire]

Okay so I'm gon'na try and explain what I think villain stans are trying to say but are sort of failing at. The problem people have with how Hori wrote the LoV (and really only the Lov, cuz villain stans generally don't care about any other villains) is that alot of their characters and writing flaws into harmful stereotypes/tropes that can enforce harmful things. Like it Hawks wasn't ablest because he killed Jin. Jin was himself an ablest character. having the only canon mentality ill (1)

character as a violent villain who needed to be killed off for the public's safety, reinforces that mentally ill people are more dangerous then others, and totally goes against the reality that the mentally ill are far more likely to be abused and killed then the average person. The same goes for the Heroes. No they aren't police but they are defiantly performing very similar tasks as the police. Part of the problem people have with the Heroes is that they're not corrupt like cops in RL (2)

The fact they're shown as reasonable, good people just doing their best and that the violence they dish out is necessary plays into the trope of police/law enforcement having justified reasons to hurt/kill those that oppose them. By making all the villains who have some sort problem with the system killers with little regard for anyone, or with little plan past 'kill everyone' it furthers the idea that those that attack the system are either doing it for selfish reasons or so violent that (3)

what they have to say is undermined by that violence. I don't think it's unreasonable to bring up the sort of problematic tropes Horikoshi uses (and, yes this is a Japanese manga so of course it's going to be written differently but alot of those tropes started in American media so even if Hori doesn't know they are harmful it's fair to bring up where they come from) but I think alot of villain stans take the fact these are problematic tropes and decide weirdly act like the story both has (4)

these problems but totally endorse the characters like they're not written badly and get annoyed when people actually point out that story wise the Lov is wrong (which is what their problem is with the story--that the Lov are written as violent killers). I get that it's frustrating to see characters u see urself in be written as nothing more then killers and wish they had been written better, but by pretending that they aren't written that way in cannon, undercuts their point about them

being badly written in the first place. I also don't think it's fair to get angry at others who simply read the manga the way it was intended. Sure those are problematic elements but as long as people understand that, there's no reason to read what's on the page and say, yeah, Shigaraki is killer, or Hawks was right to kill Twice. In a way that type of reading just supports their idea more because it shows those tropes are working the way they were intended. Yet they're so focused on what they

they're so focused on the story they wanted that they forget to explain their problems with it in a understandable way, and a lot of times resort to just saying all Heroes are cops and should die, or acting like the story backs up their interpretations of said characters. In a way it seems they use it to feel morally superior to others then actually explain to them some of the problems the story has in a polite way, and admit other people have a point. Sorry this was so long.

Sorry for my late response! I haven’t been feeling the best lately T-T

Hmmm, I know that Horikoshi can use problematic stereotypes in his manga (such as how he draws trans people which has been brought up by others in the past) but call me stupid and/or naive but I just fail to see how Twice is an ableist character and that his portrayal says that all mentally ill people are dangerous and violent.

Not once was Twice labelled dangerous because of his mental illness from what I can recall, more so it’s just that he happened to be a dangerous man that was mentally ill. Maybe you can reach by saying that he was only considered a true threat after overcoming his trauma but surely that would then be the infantization of mentally ill people, not labelling them dangerous. There are issues with him being the only character to be portrayed with his type of mental illness but his illness was more to be a plot point then anything else (him being unable to use his quirk properly due to his past trauma) and he’s still not the only character to be mentally ill as we have Tamaki on the hero side. I have many issues with Twice and his portrayal of mental illness that I’ve expressed in the past but I just don’t see this being one of them.

As for the heroes using violence, I’m not sure why that’s such a massive complaint in a action shonen with heroes and villains. If people really wanted social commentary on why using force against criminals is bad, maybe they shouldn’t be reading BNHA that enforces that sometimes heroes have to resort to force because no other options to stop villains will work.

Also, the villains aren’t the only ones who have brought up issues with the system. We’ve had heroes question the discrimination against certain quirks (during Shinsou’s fight in the sports festival), we’ve had civilians question heroes and there ability to protect people (during the press conference after the training camp) and again we had Hawks draw attention to the issues in current system during his speech at the billboard charts. Just because the heroes and civilians aren’t as vocal about their complaints (or perhaps just like their trauma, they don’t make it central point of their character) doesn’t mean they’re completely complacent. It reminds me of that meme with the birds with the League being the bigger bird that talks over the smaller one, just because the League is louder doesn’t mean they’re the only ones talking about the issues.

Plus, I don’t see the issue of the League being written as killers. They’re the villains, they need to do something villainous in order to be so! Even if they bring valid points to the table, how they express them will always undermine them and that’s been a trope in manga/anime/books for years! We need to be able to relate to our villains as that’s how you know you have a good one (in my opinion). But that doesn’t mean they have to be excused for everything they’ve done. I just... I don’t know what people want from BNHA.

...Sorry my reply also got too long. Thank you for trying to explain this in a much clearer way then villain stans have in the past. I still don’t necessarily agree but I can at least try to understand their points.

[letteredlettered]

Do you have any tips for coping with people making problematic comments on things you have written? I'm currently writing a fic that explores communication problems & societal gender narratives. In this context, the main (cis/het) couple have a nasty fight & there is clear fault on both sides. I've had several people attack the female character in the comment section, saying that she is a complete bitch/piece of shit & her husband should leave her - I'm finding it quite upsetting.

First of all, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s painful to receive comments that aren’t thoughtful about your work or you and that are hateful toward a character that you love and in some way is a part of you.

I do think sometimes people don’t mean to be hateful with comments like this. They’re trying to show that they’re invested. Also, sometimes people read fanfic to reinforce feelings they already have about canon, and they’re not really interested in fics that deviate. Sometimes people don’t even seem to notice that it deviates, which took me a long time to understand. Apparently, so many people are used to reading fics in which Draco Malfoy is a pure flower and Harry Potter is a jerk that they assume that’s the fic I’m writing, when as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I was pretty sure we were all starting on the premise that Draco Malfoy was a bigoted bully who was a party to genocide and Harry Potter is a brave and generous savior.

Knowing that people aren’t really understanding my story or considering what it’s actually trying to say--that they’re just kind of repeating the shipper or fanon or headcanon feelings they want all fics to have--isn’t actually comforting. After all, they’re not thinking about my story. But at the same time, it is somewhat comforting to me to realize that my story probably doesn’t suggest that Draco Malfoy is a pure flower, that they’re bringing that from somewhere else, and that even though they’ve decided to ignore nuance in my story, that doesn’t change what my story is.

So, honestly, my response to these kind of comments is usually to just ignore them. But there are other options:

1) Delete. There is absolutely nothing wrong with deleting a comment.

2) Reply. I got a comment not too long ago that to me was the complete opposite of what I was trying to write about. I have to say it horrified me. My reply went something like, “I’m so glad you’re enjoying this story, and thanks for your comment. I must say I’m very sorry this is the impression you received, as I was trying to convey the exact opposite. As someone who deeply cares about [X], its makes me sad that you believe this story [bashes X]. However, I also deeply believe that readers should feel free to have their own interpretations, and in that sense, what you get from the story is just as valid as what I intended. Thank you again for reading.” The commenter clarified that they didn’t exactly hate X and had meant something a little different, which was a little comforting (as I gotta say, the initial comment was SHOCKING to me), though I’m honestly still disturbed about it.

My reply was very polite (I hope), but it’s also okay to just tell someone how you feel--that you’re frustrated/hurt/upset by their comment. It really depends on whether saying that will make you feel better, and whether you’re willing to deal with that person getting angry or there being a confrontation in your comments. Confrontations are okay. Expressing yourself is good. But if it makes you anxious or upset, it’s also okay to avoid it in this instance. The stakes for honesty are low here--the only thing to be gained by it is making yourself feel better, so if just unloading frustration or rage would make you feel better, eh--go ahead. If it won’t, don’t. (If it’s someone you know and must deal with repeatedly, the stakes for honesty are much higher.)

3) Ignore, but formulate a reply. Sometimes the point of expressing all your feelings isn’t for the sake of honesty--it isn’t so the other person now knows The Truth. Sometimes expressing yourself is important so you can understand how you feel, face it, let yourself feel it, and move through those emotions. Sometimes I find it comforting to just let all my feelings out in a reply without posting the reply. When I express my anger and frustration in a reply, I often feel better by the time I finish the reply. I feel no need to release that anger and frustration onto someone else, because I’ve already released it within myself. Then I just erase my reply and basically forget about the comment.

4) Ignore, but talk to trusted friends. Sometimes a comment is so frustrating or upsetting that I feel kind of at a loss. By sharing the comment with people I know and trust, I can a) once again, express my feelings and allow myself to deal with them, b) receive the comfort and reassurance of my friends, who are going to say nice things about me and my story regardless, c) avoid confrontation and upset with a stranger whose opinion I don’t particularly care about either way.

What I would advise against when it comes to this is mentioning the comment to people you don’t know/trust, which includes semi-public spaces like tumblr/twitter/discord/instagram/etc. This, to me, is the absolute wrong thing to do and can be very ugly and unkind. Sure, you get to express yourself and receive the support of your friends, but there’s always the possibility that people will go troll that commenter or make life difficult for them.

The exception, I would say, is if the offensive comment is offensive in a way that deserves public attention. I personally believe that it can be fine to call public attention to things like racist and misogynist slurs or comments inciting violence towards real people etc. In those cases, I believe that social condemnation can actually be useful, though personally I still believe some care should be taken in how one approaches such a situation.

Anyway, this was a long response, but I’m sorry again you’re dealing with this, and good luck on your story! It sounds like a good fic.

[queen-scribbles]

All the questions for whichever origin applies :) (I'm sorry I'm not super familiar with your characters!)

(Rahna) TABRIS:

What was Tabris’ relationship with their family like? (Cyrion, Adaia, Shianni, Soris…)

She doesn’t really remember Adaia all that well(which bothers her more than she admits), She loves her father but wishes he was a little less…. complacent. She and Shianni get along great, they’re fond of the whole teasing-insults-that-sound-real-to-other-people as a means of showing affection with each other. She and Soris get along pretty great(even if he is sort of the reason she’s claustrophobic)

How did Tabris handle being told of their arranged marriage?

She… wasn’t thrilled, but she knows lots of people who have happy marriages even though they were arranged., so she didn’t protest too much. Just rolled her eyes a little at the whole “We don’t wanna seem like troublemakers so don’t mention the weapon training, k?”

How did Tabris react to meeting their betrothed?

Oh, meeting Nelaros definitely made her way more okay with the getting married thing. (She still has the ring. Even years later.) He’s so sweet and seems like such a nice guy, but also doesn’t just take Vaughan’s crap. She was actually looking forward to marrying him before… y’know.

Did Tabris have any knowledge or ideas about the Dalish? Did they believe they were real, or a myth?

She knew vaguely that they existed, but no real details. Did believe they were real, though.

Did Tabris stop to talk with the children playing? If so, how did they handle the children saying they didn’t know any elven heroes?

No, she didn’t, because she was my first time through the Tabris origins and I missed it. >.>

How did Tabris respond to Vaughn harassing the elven women? To he and his men crashing the wedding?

Straight up told him to knock it off and leave them alone//”I’ll kill you if you touch us”//cheered Shianni on when she bottled the bastard

If Tabris was kidnapped, what was their plan before Soris showed up? 

Kill everyone in the way and get them all out as unharmed as possible(and then Nola got killed pretty much straight off the bat, which only made her angrier).

Did Tabris kill Vaughn or accept his money? Why?

Oh, bitch, he dead. And it was extra great cuz she got the dual-weapon finishing move where you stab your opponent in the gut and then cut off their head. She was very satisfied.

What was growing up in the alienage like for Tabris? How did they feel about having to leave?

Growing up in the Alienage for Rahna meant a large importance on family, sometimes going hungry bc there wasn’t enough, and a slowly built and reinforced distrust for human nobility(I’m honestly kind of shocked at how fast she and Nate bonded in DAA)

How did Tabris feel about returning to the alienage, and finding slavery?

*KILL BILL SIRENS*

(Trinne) AMELL:

Did Amell have any memories of their life before the Circle? If so, what of? If not, how did they feel about not knowing where they’re from?

OH, yeah. Trinne was eight–almost nine–when the templars took her, so she remembers her parents(she was a Daddy’s Girl, through and through) and her sisters really well. She has lots of memories playing with her sisters, her father teaching her constellations, her mother attempting to tame her hair, etc etc 

What was Amell’s relationship with Jowan like? What did they think of the revelation of him being a blood mage?

Oh, best friends isn’t even strong enough. Trinne and Jowan are basically family in every sense but blood(and actually, Modern AU he is her brother via adoption). The single fastest way to make her angry is go after Jowan, whether that be just insults or physically attacking him. And he’s defensive of her right back, she just… needs it less. She beats people up for calling him names, he lies to keep her out of trouble and keeps her from being too impulsive as much as he can. She has mixed feelings about the blood mage reveal, those mixed feelings being AWESOME and WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!?! She’s hurt he lied to her, but she doesn’t view blood magic as being as evil as the Chantry teaches(entropy mage; she’s put a lot of thought into this stuff “Why is THAT bad but not THIS?”, so that didn’t bother her as much.)

How prepared was Amell for their Harrowing?

She was pretty prepared, star pupil and all that. Still just barely managed to figure out Mouse’s game in time.

What was Amell’s reaction to first entering the Fade?

She thought it was pretty neat, if a tad disorienting. Adjusted pretty quickly to the concept of her will making things Real and ran with it.

Did Amell believe in “Mouse?” What did they think of his story?

Of my mages, Trinne’s the most comfortable with her skill level and least self-effacing, so he almost got her with his combo of “Woe is me” and “You’re so powerful and strong, surely you can succeed!”

How did Amell feel about living in the Circle?

Jowan and picking on the templars were the only things that made life bearable. Oh, and books. She loves to read, especially history, so the most common place to find her was the library.

Did Amell favour a particular Fraternity? What did they think about Circle politics in general?

She usually tried to keep out of Circle politics, but if you forced her to picked, she’d probably come down somewhere between Aequitarians and Libertarians, leaning a bit more toward the latter. 

How did Amell feel about working with tranquil mages?

She sees Tranquility as being just as much an abomination as anything any demon can do to a mage; stripping them of their free will and turning them into an obedient puppet. She and Jowan would both rather die than be Tranquil, so even after everything goes to hell in the Origins, even when she’s mad and hurt that he lied to her, she’s never, ever sorry she helped him escape that. Not for a second. And she’s not shy about admitting that either.

Did Amell decide to help Jowan and Lily, or did they tell Irving of their plans? Why?

Oh, she helped Jowan and Lily. No arm-twisting or anything required. She did check with Irving that they were really planning to make Jowan Tranquil, got really mad when the reason “Oh, yeah, someone told Greagoir he’s a blood mage” (I mean, he is a blood mage, but she didn’t know that, and the fact they were going to make Jowan Tranquil because of what was to her just hearsay infuriated her), and is therefore extremely defiant about helping them.

How did Amell feel about returning to the Circle, and seeing it in chaos?

It broke her heart and made her want to throw up and if Uldred had still been Uldred instead of a demon’s plaything, she probably would’ve thrown him off the top of the tower and prayed he bounced as many times as possible on the way down.

(Gabriel) ANDRAS (AWAKENING):

What was the warden’s life like prior to joining the order? Under what circumstances did they join?

Gabriel’s family(Parents, him, and younger brother Remy) were servants to one of the more decent chevaliers(I know that’s not saying much. He didn’t beat them, they were fed and had a roof, his sister actually was the one who taught Gabriel to read). Gabriel picked up some moves watching the guards/soldiers spar and practiced in what little free time he had, developed a rogue-influenced warrior fighting style(he’s a berserker/champion/spirit warrior in game). Long, LONG story short, a Grey Warden saw him fighting and was impressed with his skill–even more so upon learning he was essentially self-taught–and Conscripted him,

How did the warden react to being made Warden-Commander and sent to a new country?

Surprised, tbh. He was still a relatively new Warden at the time of the Blight and its aftermath; so he’d expected some with more Warden experience would get command. The new country bit didn’t bother him much; he’s always wanted to travel. 

What did the warden say in return to Empress Celene presenting them with new armour, upon their departure?

He doesn’t (I don’t) remember :P

What was the warden’s first impression of Ferelden?

Well, it was raining, so cold, wet, and lots of green and brown

How did the warden handle the negative backlash to their Orlesian nationality?

Honestly, he’s just glad they’re focusing on that rather than calling him “rabbit” and telling him to go make supper.