#been working on setting boundaries and limits

[flower-boi16]

Apology Tour Made Blitz Do The Right Thing for The Wrong Reason

There's a common critique of Apology Tour I've seen regarding Verosika is that the fact that she went out of her way to create an entire annual party dedicated to shitting on her past ex makes her look overly obsessive. While at first glance I can see where this argument is coming from I'd like to disagree.

Blitzo has been frequently established as a fairly destructive person who thanks to his own self-hatred ends up hurting others and pushing them away, the fact that there's this many people in the party shows how destructive of a person Blitzo is, and we see that it's not just limited to his exes, but people in general who he hurt (like Dennis, for instance).

And Verosika is one of Blitz's later victims who Blitz bailed on after she told him she loved him, a very vulnerable moment for someone to be in, and that's the point where Blitz broke her heart. And so she created this party both out of spite for Blitz seeing how much of a horrible person he is and out of sympathy for his many victims who were just as heartbroken by him as she was. She created this party so she could help the people Blitz has hurt cope with what happened and heal from it, creating a sense of community amongst victims.

Apology Tour shows how much Blitzo damages people, how his self-destructive tendencies always end badly for both him AND his victim, leaving his victim broken and making him more broken, the fact there's a whole party made for the sole purpose of helping his victims cope shows that. And Blitz is forced to see how damaging of a person he truly is because of this...or at least, that's the route the episode should have taken.

Apology Tour is an episode with an absolutely fantastic set up with Blitz going to a party where he sees how many people he's damaged and chooses to start becoming a better person, but the problem is HOW the show gets him to see that. The show gets him to start to change himself...through Stolitz.

Blitzo realizes how he hurts others through seeing how he hurt Stolas, who Blitz previously just believed was some classist dick and nothing else only for Stolas to pour his heart out in a musical number, making Blitz realize that Stolas' feelings were genuine all this time and what he was saying to Stolas did, in fact, hurt him...

...at least that's how the writers want you to look at this scene. However, thanks to the general problems with Stolitz writing this development ends up falling flat on its face. The reason for why this development fails despite the perfect set up is because the show is holding Blitz accountable for something he isn't even in the wrong for in the first place. I've ranted about Stolitz many times before but I'll just repeat the same points because it's relevant for my argument here; Blitzo had no reason to ever think that Stolas' love for him was genuine.

Throughout the whole first season, Stolas consistently looked down upon and belittled Blitz, calling him demeaning pet names and always invading his boundaries even when Blitz says no, yet Stolas continues it anyway. YET, the show tries to paint Blitz as biased here because "oh he only hates Stolas for being a royal and is repressing his feelings for Stolas due to self-hatred" or some bullshit.

However, once you factor in the outside context, Blitz never comes across as biased here whenever he rants about Stolas, because he doesn't have a reason to believe Stolas has any genuine affection for him beyond some small, off-screen "nice things" he did for him, and even then, you can still look down upon someone while caring for them. The show wants to present Blitz as in the wrong here for "hurting Stolas' feelings" and being consumed in his bias, but that doesn't work because Blitz had no reason to believe that Stolas didn't look down on him when he literally did.

But despite Blitz not being in the wrong in the situation, he's portrayed as the abuser here and he's the one who apologizes to his abuser, and HE says that Stolas "deserves better than HIM", making Stolas out as the victim here in this situation when the context and framing say otherwise.

Speaking of Stolas, many people have torn him apart this episode already so I won't go that in-depth here, however, it's still relevant to my point. The episode portrays Stolas as sympathetic here when he isn't - in fact, Stolas comes across as extremely unsympathetic in this episode due to claiming that he "never looked down" upon Blitz despite doing that throughout all of season 1.

He THEN gets angry at Blitz for not saving him when Striker captured him even though 1. Blitz was busy and 2. HE LITERALLY SENT HIS CO-WORKERS TO SAVE YOU WHY TF ARE YOU MAD???

Stolas doesn't have a legitimate reason to be angry at Blitz due to the outside context - instead, all of his interactions with Blitzo in this episode come across as him playing the victim and gaslighting him. And All 2 U is the pure culmination of this. A song that is supposed to be the moment where Blitz realizes his mistakes instead comes across as Blitz being repeatedly gaslighted and guilt-tripped into apologizing to his abuser.

HE is treated as the problem, HE is treated as the one who is meant to apologize to Stolas, even though he is NOT IN THE WRONG FOR THIS IN THE SLIGHTEST. Yet, the show ignores past interactions for this to work. It doesn't address anything Stolas did beyond just making the deal - it acts as if that was the only bad thing he ever did even when Stolas did more than just that to Blitz.

Yet, that's never called out by anyone. Stolas doesn't have a good or sympathetic reason to be mad at Blitz - yet the show treats him as another one of Blitz's victims anyway. So, Blitz was essentially gaslit into becoming a better person, which isn't really great writing. Apology Tour had all the ingredients of a fantastic episode but it's severely held back by this specific aspect, Stolas drags the episode down so much and it sucks that the Stolas crap in the episode has to be tied to Blitz's development. Blitzo should have seen his mistakes through someone who actually had valid and sympathetic reasons to dislike him, someone who does actually come across as a person deeply hurt by Blitz's actions.

In other words....Verosika. Verosika should have been the character they used here, not Stolas. Verosika has an actually good reason to dislike Blitz and one the audience could actually sympathize for, SHE should have been the character to get Blitz to realize his mistakes and decide to change and grow as a person. Have All 2 U be sung by her instead of Stolas, with the song detailing how Blitz met and Blitz broke her heart.

Seriously, the concept of the begining scene and All 2 U can work, but they'll work better if you replace Stolas with Verosika in them instead, because Verosika has a good reason to dislike Blitz that could easily be expanded upon and developed, and Blitz would've had better reasoning to become a better person rather than being gaslit and guilt tripped into it. Apology Tour had all of the ingredients for a fantastic episode but the Stolass trash drags it down HARD.

[tiamathh]

ADRASTAEA (239)

Inescapable

Adrastea often also spelt as Adrasteia in Greek Mythology also known as "she who cannot be escaped" is the goddess of revolt. In my opinion wherever this asteroid is in your chart, it indicates what you cannot escape.

Tw: ED mention for 2nd House

1st: You cannot escape your own self and insecurities about the way you look or talk or walk. You may find it difficult to let go and may overdress at times to overcompensate. There is a possibility that you may be stuck in a loop that never ends because you feel like it cannot especially when it comes to your physical body.

2nd: You cannot escape your lack mindset, and may fall into it easily. You may have had a rough upbringing financially which makes you feel like you'll be financially unstable forever. You may attach all your self esteem with material wealth rather than looking inside and may have experiences with eating disorders.

3rd: You cannot escape your own mind, you may have been overly criticised during your early schooling years and may have been compared a lot with your neighbours and siblings especially academically. Have a tendency to overthink because of how observant you are and may be prone to getting anxious in public settings.

4th: You cannot escape your home, you may have had parents who were either neglectful or didn't get along with each other and fought a lot. This may make you feel like you don't have a comfort place/home and you'll never find one, that you can't escape your "fate" of having a home life that isn't secure in the future because of your past and may be scared to start a family.

5th: You cannot escape the spotlight for better or for worse. This makes you uncomfortable with being alone with yourself as you may out on a facade due to multiple eyes being on you at all times, this can also lead to feeling helpless at times because nothing you do seems to go unnoticed. You're scared ghosts of your past will come back to haunt you because of the same and are neglectful to your inner child.

6th: You cannot escape control, this is mostly external and you may feel like you're constantly being restricted and that you can't be free. You may have trouble setting boundaries as people around you may disregard them, not only that but you may lack self-discipline as you see it may seem too limiting for you, and you may believe that it will try to stifle you and your creativity. You may also have trouble making your subordinates listen to your ideas and opinions.

7th: You cannot escape the image you've made of yourself and presented to the world, as well as your relationships (platonic and romantic) you're bound to it and feel like you need to abide by it constantly without a break. You may also have trouble leaving bad or toxic relationships because you fear you won't be able to find anyone else, and may have problems with negotiating in a way that benefits you.

8th: You cannot escape your own guilt and the occult. You find it very difficult to let go of people and things, memories and experiences and may feel like it's your burden to bear. May feel shame attached to masturbation or sexual acts in a way and may not be comfortable being in intimate situations both sexually and emotionally. You may also attract a lot of energy vampires.

9th: You cannot escape the philosophies others enforce on you. You may have grown up in an extremely conventional/religious or strict household where you were expected and taught to do everything by the book. You probably have a difficult time trying to see things from other perspectives and may be a little rigid, having to work on being open minded actively, you may also have a dicey relationship with religion.

10th: You cannot escape your work, you're a workaholic and it brings a lot of imbalance to your life. You always want bigger better things that blind you from the meaningful relationships you have and the growth that you can go through. You neglect both your body and mind, and are restless when it comes to your deadlines, you may butt heads with authority figures as well.

11th: You cannot escape your self-sacrificial nature. You have a tendency to give even when you don't have anything for yourself and then fall in a loop of self pity. Your relationships with your friends and your community may be unequal as you don't get much back. There's a feeling of needing to give back rather than wanting to which also negatively impacts your energy.

12th: You cannot escape your past. Whether it be your past in this life or in terms of your past life, old relationships, people, memories keep coming back to teach you lessons that you didn't learn because of your self limiting beliefs and self deprecating nature. You don't like delving deep because you're scared of what you'll learn and what you'll see rather than wielding that knowledge as a weapon.

All Rights Reserved tiamathh on tumblr. Do not steal, repost, plagiarise or reword and claim as your own!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being kind and civil with people who drive me insane?

So this is something that happens all the time and it's a pattern so to save your time, I'll only mention the one incident which that I got called out for several times, it's starting to make me think I might be TA.

I (34F) work in a grocery store. Maddy (???F) works in the security department and is in charge for looking through our grocery to ensure we didn't steal anything (our workplace is uncomfortably strict about this since many employees have stole in the past) She is very rude, I never liked her. She makes me so uncomfortable a lot because she yells all the time. At everyone. She never realized how offensive she is.

Anyway, sometimes I'd walk past her after my shift forgetting that I'm carrying grocery bags etc and she'd yell at me to get back there. It's always embarrassing because anyone who witnesses that would most likely assume I'm a shoplifter because of the way she's yelling. She yells about other stuff too mind you, don't think I always forget the fact I'm carrying grocery. They don't allow us to bring our bags inside and we have to keep them in our locker (according to her, I never heard this elsewhere). She yells at me if I try to take my purse with me if I'm in a hurry. She says it's ~the rules~ and we need to follow them but like, she the only security staff who's this strict about it. The others don't even bother to check our groceries because they trust we don't shoplift and it's actually stupid because we could still shoplift anyway and hide the items in our pockets and they don't perform a body check anyway (they used to in the past but were legally required to stop because of Covid).

How do I deal with her though? Every time she'd yell, I reply to her very calmly and attempt small talk to absorb her anger. For example, if she's angry about my grocery, I'd show them to her and ask stuff like "what is you favorite brand of milk/bread/egg etc etc"

She does engage but it never made her actually stop and think about her behaviors for a single second. I have always stopped to chat with her whenever I can and she always speaks calmly when I do, but returns to yelling when I "break the rules" as she says.

But here's the thing. My patience is limited. I'm like a battery, if you keep charging me, I'll eventually explode. I planned remaining civil with Maddy forever, but enough is enough and I accidentally lashed out. I lashed out on her ONCE only, I yelled much louder than she did, for 30 minutes, lecturing her about work etiquette. She was so surprised and taken aback. She told me "where did this all come from?" Like she didn't see it coming? She seriously mistook my patience and tolerance of her behaviors for friendliness. And that was the last time we talked, I reported her to HR the next day because I don't think she'll ever get the memo, and that's when I learned thst so many employees have complained about her already but they can't fire her because she an outsource and has strong connections in her company, management has already talked to her numerous times but she just doesn't listen, so don't call me TA for not communicating, it doesn't work with her.

My friend Gloria (28F) and many others including our manager (F30s) told me I should've not been chatting with her, I should just ignore her and disengage. They think the fact I'm talking kindly to her will just make her assume she isn't doing anything wrong and encourage her to keep behaving like that, and that she'd think I want to be friends??? None of that is my intention. I just want to be civil to her to indirectly get her to realize her behaviors weren't acceptable. I'm setting a good example for her, to learn from me how she should treat people and soften her heart.

I was called TA because they said I didn't have to be civil with her if I knew I might eventually lash out (but lashing out isn't something I planned??), and I should've just avoided her and set boundaries. Gloria told me it's an AH move to go out of my way to interact to someone I despise when ignoring them is an option and that makes me two faced and makes the people around me wonder if I truly like them or I'm basically tolerating them, but this wouldn't happen if I they weren't rude in the first place?

BTW a similar thing eventually happened with Gloria because her attitude sucked with me and I lashed out eventually because enough is enough, she said she should've known not to trust me because of how I treated Maddy and I shouldn't have befriended her if I "hated" her so much. AITA?

[girlwithrituals]

101 ways to improve self esteem

1) Master a new skill.

2) List your accomplishments.

3) Do something creative.

4) Challenge your limiting beliefs.

5) Talk to a counselor.

6) Don't worry about what others think.

7) Read or watch something inspirational.

8) Stay true to your character.

9) Let go of negative people.

10) Set healthy boundaries with others.

11) Care about your appearance.

12) Welcome failure as part of growth.

13) Be a lifelong learner.

14) Face your fears.

15) Become a mentor.

16) Accept compliments.

17) Eliminate self-criticism.

18) Practice coping skills to manage stress and big emotions.

19) Notice negative thoughts and beliefs.

20) Challenge negative thinking.

21) Think about what you learned from negative experiences.

22) Practice gratitude.

23) Exercise.

24) Eat healthy and limit junk food.

25) Get good sleep.

26) Spend time with positive and supportive people.

27) Encourage yourself.

28) Write a list of your strengths.

29) Don't compare yourself to others.

30) Avoid perfectionism.

31) Do at least one positive, enjoyable activity every day.

32) Celebrate small victories.

33) Be helpful and considerate to others.

34) Be honest with yourself and others.

35) Accept your flaws.

36) Don't give up.

37) Practice self-care.

38) Go easy on yourself.

39) Practice being assertive.

40) Practice saying "No".

41) Practice relaxation techniques.

42) Take on challenges.

43) Volunteer to help others.

44) Forgive others and yourself.

45) Set goals and work toward them step by step.

46) Seek balance in all areas of your life.

47) Discover your passions and purpose

48) Groom yourself.

49) Dress nicely.

50) Be kind and generous to others.

51) Practice good posture.

52) Change a small habit.

53) Smile.

54) Don't procrastinate.

55) Don't take things personal.

56) Organize your personal space.

57) Challenge unkind thoughts about yourself.

58) Spend time outside.

59) Notice the good things.

60) Celebrate your successes

61) Write a list of things you like about yourself.

62) Don't take too much on.

63) Do something for yourself every day.

64) Develop daily habits.

65) Remind yourself it's okay if not everyone likes you.

66) Practice mindfulness.

67) Learn to tolerate discomfort.

68) Use problem-solving skills.

69) Take responsibility instead of blaming.

Tell Yourself Positive Affirmations Such As:

70) I am grateful for every day.

71) I am worthy of happiness and love.

72) I am in charge of my own happiness.

73) I love, respect, and believe in myself.

74) I deserve to be happy and successful.

75) I approve of myself, right here and now.

76) I am learning and changing for the better.

77) I accept 100% responsibility for my own life.

78) Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.

79) I can learn to accept the parts of myself that I don't like.

80) I am thankful for my challenges as they make me a stronger person.

81) Write down three positives about each day.

82) Make a collage with your talents, goals, and dreams.

83) Practice laughing.

84) Be proud of yourself.

85) Say mistakes are an opportunity to learn.

86) Show respect to yourself and others.

87) Resolve conflict peacefully.

88) Ask for help or support.

89) Complete a daily task list.

90) Have a growth mindset.

91) Be optimistic.

92) Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

93) Focus on the things you have control over and can change.

94) Get started on tasks you have been putting off.

95) Practice good daily hygiene.

96) Focus on solutions not problems.

97) Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

98) Drink plenty of water.

99) Start a new hobby or join a club/sport.

100) Do random acts of kindness.

101) Create a dreams list.

[blackmoonoracle]

PICK A CARD - WHAT'S BEING HIDDEN FROM YOU?

PILE ONE Channeled song: Paint the Town Red - Doja Cat

Some of you may be pregnant without knowing, of course this doesn't apply to everyone but that's certainly a thing for someone. For some of you it could be a dream you've been working on cultivating since childhood beginning to take root into reality. Being able to take some kind of forward movement that allows you freedom. Some of you may be developing a deeper relationship with a sibling or child family member as well. Maybe a family member could be pregnant as well. There's definitely a vibe of fertility and joy here. Something being built from the ground up as well. For some of you it could be a business you're trying to develop. Or even a dream career, or getting into a school or some kind of huge positive development in your life. You might not see it yet, but the tables are absolutely going to be turning in your favor. You may be exploring more, and find opportunity to express your emotions. I see this group may be learning to develop better boundaries. There could be people trying to create blockages in your forward movement. I see however that you are learning to depend more on your own thoughts, feelings, and overall discernment. Independence is absolutely being developed here, for some of you it could be that you are maturing into a new phase of your life and self expression that you're not seeing as well. I feel like there's a need here to really acknowledge the amount of growth you've achieved. Yeah, there's some major positive shifts happening here. If you've maybe been feeling stagnant or stuck, especially due to family having control over your finances or actions I see a lot of freedom coming here. You've developed some kind of discipline, or possibly self reliance that you previously may have felt was unattainable.

I think that's about it for you guys pile one! sorry it's short.

PILE TWO

Channeled Song: IDGAF - Drake ft Yeat

I feel like there are a lot of people who may not particularly have good intentions towards you pile 2. There could even be an air and water sign woman working together to create some kind of binding on your financial stability. What's crazy though is that I see it's not even able to manifest into the physical realm. The worst that they're able to do is exacerbate your limiting beliefs regarding financial stability. LOLLL, weaaaaak.

You may end up speaking your truth regarding some kind of situation soon as well. I see that there may also be a reveal of whoever these people are that have been trying to meddle in your finances. You may be in hermit mode currently, or seeking to isolate from people for the most part. There seems to be a lot of speculation around what you're up to and what you're doing pile 2. People could even be arguing over you. You may be leaving behind some sort of belief system that was at some point a core piece of your ideology. Some kind of realization is going to come that will bring a significant amount of balance into your life. I'm also hearing your body though, which is interesting. So there's some major balance coming into play here for you. It's sooo weird, because it feels like there are a lot of people who have it out for you. I see here that there is an emperor type energy that is very lost. This person may be trying to manifest you into their lives against your will? I just feel like a lot of this pile is likely confirmations, as it's clear to me you all are tapped the fuck in. Seeing as the high priestess has come out. I feel that you may not be aware that there is either a father figure, or older man who is doing spellwork or manifestation work on you. I feel that it's important for you to set energetic boundaries with people. First person shooter just came on, and it was the part where he said "dont trust everything that you saw on IG" so this person could be stalking you on instagram? I feel like they're driving themselves mad trying to figure out what the hell is going on in your life. For some of you they may not be older, but they may be very controlling or authoritative in some way. Someone with an ego that is larger than life. I heard "where in the world is carmen san diego" so what may be hidden from you is that there are a lot of people with their eyes on you pile 2. People may sense that you are about to do something big? I see here that you will be in a comfortable position. You are about to put an end to something, this feels like setting boundaries and speaking your piece. I also see that you are overcoming some sort of lack mindset that you struggle with. You are absolutely developing into a new person right now. I see here that what you don't know is that your shadow is a huge piece of how you receive and download psychic information. There's something about being deeply impressionable, but learning discernment and therefore being able to use this receptivity to glean hidden information. I'm also feeling something about mind reading here? This pile could be developing the gift of telepathy. I'm feeling very much Taurus rising energy here, off the strength of the fact that this is absolutely giving scorpio in the 7th house energy. With this capability to just read into the depths of the people around you. Seeing deep into the minds of others. What's being hidden from you is that more often than not you are in fact reading people to filth. I think that it may upset people when you are right for some reason. It's like there's this competitive energy towards you. I heard "keep up" like people are trying to keep up with you, or they're trying to outdo you so that you feel like you have to keep up with them. Regardless, I do see that through processing, acknowledging and accepting the hidden aspects of your personality you will find deep fulfillment and even financial gain! How interesting.

PILE THREE

Channeled Song: Highs & Lows - Chance the Rapper

Some sort of information is being hidden from you pile 3, but it's not because of anything outside of you. It's because you overthink shit like baaaaad. I heard "8" so the number 8 could be significant here somehow. You're being asked to maybe step back, your ego could be blocking your ability to think clearly. There's an emphasis on teamwork here, I feel that this pile has a verrrryy hard time taking criticism. What's being hidden from you is that your ego exceeds your knowledge, and that you may need to find a better balance within yourself. I heard something also about meddling, some of you may struggle with envy or jealousy.

To be honest pile 3, I feel like you really need to learn to allow things to flow. There's some sort of link to familial trauma, or control issues rooting from the family that have resulted in this outlook on life. Perhaps you could be rather inflexible in your ideology. Very set in your ways. I see that what you don't see is that a tower moment is coming in order to shift your perspective. I kind of see it as like- for example in football being tackled. I see you taking it on the chin and getting back up and continuing to go on. Don't be so stubborn, and learn to release bitterness. You may be grieving a perceived loss regarding some sort of project you're very passionate about. Or even possibly just feeling exhausted regarding this project. I feel that you guys are in a deep, and brooding, and veryyyyy aggressive energy in order to protect yourself. I'm seeing like crows in a parking lot circling scraps of food.

You could have had to fight for everything in life- and now spirit is asking you to sit back and allow shit to unfold. What's being hidden is that by creating a better work life balance, and taking better care of yourself that you will be able to get over this bump in the road concerning your financial stability. Transmuting your fear and greed into security and generosity will deeply help you in moving onward. I see here that you could be feeling stuck on a standstill. Learn to relax a little, things don't have to constantly be so serious. You have a lot of blessings coming in, so just sit tight and let it come in. <3 You're gonna be just fine. Better than fine honestly! It's going to be okay, I promise. :3 One more thing actually, there's a line in the channeled song that goes "The best things in life on the opposite side of fear".

[bitterchocoo]

A Blessing or A Curse?

Jing Yuan | M. Reader as Baizhu [Genshin Impact]

----------

"The doctor will see you now~"

----------

For centuries, immortality has been seen as a curse by the Xianzhou natives. An abomination.

How could they not? When they saw it with their own eyes, what immortality had brought to those who wished for it. How it changed them. Twist their minds until they're merely a shadow of their former self. What had become of those who got Mara-struck.

But...

Amongst those who look down on immortality with disdain. There's one who sees immortality as a blessing rather than a curse.

.

.

.

.

.

Hey, have you heard? There's a Doctor that could cure any illness! It's like a miracle! He works in a Pharmacy in the Alchemy Commission called, Bubu Pharmacy. The Doctor's name is—

"Doctor [Name]?"

"This new prescription, though not as fast-acting. Will allow gradual recovery and build-up of strength making it well suited to someone who's been suffering from a long illness. The needed ingredients can also be found around the Exalting Sanctum."

"Thank you, Doctor!"

The man thanked the doctor for the new prescription with a smile on hie face. The previous prescription used ingredients are hard to get in the district and now with the new prescription, finding the ingredients for the medicine would be a lot more easier.

He then left the pharmacy with the prescription in hand, leaving the doctor alone with his...

Snake.

"You actually found replacements for those ingredients." She says as she watched the man leave. "Of course, what kind of Doctor would I be if I couldn't?" He replied softly, his eyes scanning the documents in his hand.

----------

One day, Doctor [Name] have an unexpected visit.

"Ah, General! To what do I owe the honor of your visit? Are you perhaps injured?" The doctor greeted him with a faint smile on his face. Jing Yuan laugh at [Name]'s words. "No, Doctor. I'm perfectly healthy."

"That's good to hear." "He better be, or else our work would have been for nothing!!"

"Good to see you too Changsheng." The General chuckles. The snake huffs as she rested her body around [Name]'s shoulders. The two old friends sat at a nearby table, chatting away and catching up with one another.

For as long as he could remember, [Name] had always been a kind soul, ready to help at any given time despite being a short-life species. That didn't concern him at all as he studies medicine and the art of healing.

The day [Name] retuned with a white snake around his shoulder was the day that changed everything. For the Luofu and for his friends. Almost like a miracle, the people began to heal ad recover in a rapid pace. Thanks to the Doctor's treatment. They've began to wonder as to how that could be? A short-life species? Having an ability akin to a Vidyadhara? Impossible! And yet..

As [Name] continues to heal and treat his patients... the sicker he became..

It wasn't that it's noticeable, no.. far from it..

He appears as healthy as ever, although a few coughs and wheeze here and there but as an old friend of his, Jing Yuan can't help but show concern for the Doctor.

.

.

.

.

.

"Life, death... and the world around us all follow a set of laws... Hehe, but if you never test the limits, how can anyone know where the boundaries of these laws are?"

He should have known..

He should have known that.. his friend was..

..Researching on something forbidden..

How could this be...?

A kind and gentle man.. wanting nothing but to help and treat others.. began searching for the thing his motherland sought to destroy..? And he's been doing this from the starts..?

Why..? Why must he..

He felt betrayed. Betrayed by an old friend.

Immortality is a curse! Can't the Doctor see that! All of those soldiers, all of those people that were lost from it! Is he blind!! Why!? Why must he search for such abomination!!

And yet.. and yet...

His reason.. the Doctor's reason... [Name]'s reason...

..It's still pure..

He wanted to help.. to treat and heal others..

Changsheng.. her ability to heal is simply out of this world.. but the price.. the price that needs to be paid to do such an act.. isn't that just prove how terrible the power of Abundance is? And yet..

[Name] saw this as a blessing.

It's a gift.

A gift he'll accept with open arms.

Once he received immortality.. he could continue on to help others and.. he won't have to pass down the contract to anyone ever again..

His objective is simple...

To prevent suffering.

But.. is immortality truly the only way? To him, yes. As it would prevent any more people from dying young thanks to the contract. But to someone like Jing Yuan? The General of the Luofu? The man who had seen what immortality had done to others?

Is Immortality a blessing..? Or.. a curse..?

He doesn't know anymore.

[kujousgf]

Okay but what about g!p Nat getting r pregnant at a one night stand. R actually being yelenas best friend who always said her sister is off limits and told nat her friends are off limits. Nat being a player. But like a happy ending

KISS ME UNTIL MY LIPS FALL OFF mdni. 18+

pairings ; natasha romanoff + f ! reader (romantic), yelena belova + f ! reader (platonic), wanda maximoff + f ! reader (platonic)

summary ; you know you shouldn't, really you do, but there's just something about natasha that pulls you in and wraps an iron chain around your heart

warnings ; fade to black smut (i'm the worst, i know), natasha has a penis, unprotected sex, pregnancy, top ! natasha, bottom ! reader, tiny bit of angst, intoxication, morning sickness

wc ; 2.5k~

a/n ; i hope this is what you were looking for !! i got a liiiitle carried away with this i think. also this is not proofread ! (also, please do not use the term 'g!p', just say 'character with penis' please !)

“She is off limits, Natalia. I can see that look in your eyes, she’s too nice for you.”

“She is no good for you, Y/N. Don’t fall for her annoying charms.”

That is what Yelena had said to both of you, separately, of course, the first time you met her sister. For Natasha it was a thinly veiled threat and for you it was a warning– Natasha was no good, she would break your heart. 

That was about four years ago and while the two of you tried your best to respect Yelena’s wishes, you more so than Natasha, it was getting increasingly harder to deny the attraction you felt towards each other. You never wanted to cross Yelena’s boundaries, she was your best friend since you two were old enough to walk. A betrayal like that would shake your friendship in ways you didn’t want to think about. 

You understand that Yelena just wants the best for you, knowing of her sister’s habit of sleeping with girls only to leave them in the middle of the night and suddenly forget they exist, but there was just something that wouldn't stop tugging you towards Natasha. There was no denying her attractiveness, anyone with eyes could tell that the redhead was attractive, but it was the way she treated you that really had you weak in the knees. She was frustratingly charming and stupidly sweet. When Yelena was around to shoot daggers at her for her flirting, she claimed that she was just being friendly. 

“What’s wrong with being nice to a pretty girl, Lena?”

You two had shared more than a few tender moments alone, but nothing past a soft kiss and a quietly whispered ‘You know we can’t’ that always left Natasha wanting more of you. She knew you wanted to respect Yelena, she did, and she lov– liked you for how much you cared for her sister, but God, she wished you cared a little less. She wished you were a little more selfish, a little more willing to let her have you. 

Natasha doesn’t know when she developed actual feelings for you past physical attraction, and she’d rather not think about it, if she were being honest. It didn’t matter what she felt for you if she could never act on it, if it would make her feel rotten for acting on it, for crossing a boundary Yelena had set and you were trying your hardest to set yourself. So, she did what she’d been doing best for the past three years: slept with almost every girl that the only gay bar in Ohio had to offer. 

It’s not like the both of you hadn’t tried to move on, but nothing ever seemed to stick. None of the girls Natasha slept with made the burning hole in her chest ease its aching, and no one you ever tried to date could ever compare to Natasha. Even that pretty blonde pilot with the same type of dominating presence couldn’t tear your heart away from the Russian. You think you might have to try and erase Natasha from your memory, but even then you don’t think it would work. Your heart would still remember her. 

Too many drinks and Yelena’s birthday party is how you ended up here, in the one place you shouldn’t be. Natasha just looked so pretty tonight, even wearing something so simple as her usual leather jacket and black jeans, you finally just couldn’t contain yourself. You two are in the guest bedroom of Yelena’s apartment, Natasha’s hands gripping your waist as you grind against her lap, your hands tangled in her hair. 

This is the first time the two of you had gone past a soft kiss or a gentle hand brushing against each other. It’s been four years of torture, trying to deny each other of what you both wanted, and now that you have it, it doesn’t seem like either of you want to let go. Natasha had been a little shocked when you barged into the room she was occupying for the night, but who is she to deny you when you were all red cheeked and asking for her to please kiss you?

“Okay, okay. Slow down, sweetheart.” Natasha laughs, breathless as she pulls away from your lips, her hands stilling your hips. God, she wants to keep going, but she could taste the liquor on your lips, and the last thing she wanted to do was let you do something you’d regret. You try to chase her lips, a pout making its way onto your features, but she holds you back. 

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Just looking at you, Tasha.” You grumble, trying to press your lips to hers again. 

“Hey, hey, come on. Listen to me for a minute, okay?” She reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ear and brushes her thumb across your cheek. The touch feels like electricity shooting through your body and you wish she would just stop trying to talk to you. Does she not want you like you want her?

“You know, once we do this there’s no going back, Y/N. You have to be sure, okay? Do you want this?”

“Yes. Please, Tasha, I want you. Don’t make me wait any longer, please.”

And, well, who is Natasha to say no to that?

It isn’t until Natasha sneaks out of the room at 4am to get a drink and she’s confronted with Yelena in the kitchen that she realizes what she’s done. Yelena has never told her that anyone is off limits besides you, and she can’t even keep it in her pants for one night? (She knows it’s been four years, but you’ve only approached her like this the one time.)

She tries to act like nothing is different, like she’s just grabbing some water, but Yelena raises an eyebrow at the difference in the air around her sister. She’s not as stupid as the two of you seem to think she is, she’s noticed the downright disgusting tension between the two of you and the horrible lovey dovey eyes her sister makes towards you. 

“You break her heart and I break your ribs. Got it?”

Natasha chokes on her water, she would’ve thought she’d be a little more concerned for her heart, but this is fine, “Got it.”

And then Yelena is walking out of the kitchen to go to her own room. On her birthday? You two just had to do it on her birthday? Unbelievable. 

Since that night, you and Natasha had gone on a couple of dates and you’ve been trying to spend as much time with each other as possible. You hadn’t slept with each other since, it was hard to find the right opportunity while she was staying with Yelena for the next month while her house was being renovated and your roommate Wanda always seemed to be at your apartment lately. 

About a week later you woke up feeling like something was off. You didn’t know what it was until your body was moving on its own accord and you found yourself rushing to the bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach. God, you hoped you weren’t getting sick. As you sat with your back leaning against the cool glass of the shower, you closed your eyes for a second before it hit you. 

Natasha didn’t wear a condom. 

Oh God, Natasha didn’t wear a condom. You scramble to get yourself up and brush your teeth before rushing out of the bathroom and tugging on a pair of sweatpants and an old college sweater of Natasha’s that she left a couple of nights ago. What time is it? You pat your pockets and then fish out your phone, 7:56am. Okay, the pharmacy should be open by the time you get there. 

This is fine, it’s probably nothing. You’re probably just sick, maybe you shouldn’t have eaten as much candy as you did, but Natasha was so happy to get you something you liked and you were really craving it. You tug on your shoes and you’re out the door and walking down the street in less than two minutes. 

The walk to the pharmacy is relatively short, you chose an apartment in the city, so nothing is more than a 15 minute walk. Your fingers tap against your thigh as you pick out one of the many options and you walk to the checkouts, but not before grabbing a chocolate bar. You’ve been really wanting one for days now, but that has nothing to do with this, you just like chocolate, that’s all. You groan, what are you even trying to do right now? Convince your subconscious that you’re not pregnant?

The walk back to your apartment seems like it takes forever and you don’t even need to drink a bunch of water because your nerves are making you feel like you’re going to piss your pants anyway. 

Wanda chooses the exact moment you start pacing in the bathroom to come out of her room, concealing a yawn behind her hand. “Y/N, why are you doing laps in the bathroom? If there’s a bug somewhere just kill it.”

“No, I’m not– there’s not a bug, Wands. I’m just…” You pause, fidgeting with the hem of your, well, Natasha’s sweatshirt, “I think I might be pregnant.”

A pause. 

“You think what?!”

“Don’t say that like that! It’s not a bad thing I think. I just– I just don’t know how Natasha will react.” You wrap your arms around yourself and deflate a little bit, just the idea of Natasha being upset has you acting like a kicked puppy.

Wanda softens and walks towards you, wrapping her arms around you in a hug, “I’m sure Natasha will react just fine. And if she doesn’t then that’s her problem, not yours.” You lean into her and let yourself relax for a minute. You hadn’t known Wanda for as long as Yelena, you only met in your freshman year of college, but you consider her one of your best friends. 

“Y/N… I think you should take a look.” Wanda had taken a quick peek at the test over your shoulder, and she squeezes you softly before pulling away. 

You turn around and try your hardest not to feel too scared. Either outcome is fine, right? 

Two lines. 

You were pregnant.

Tears start to prick at your eyes and you’re not sure why, but you find yourself turning and hiding yourself in Wanda’s arms, not able to stop yourself from crying. You only just started properly seeing Natasha, what if she hates you? What if she never wants to see you again? What if–

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. Everything’s okay. She won’t hate you.”

Wanda’s soothing voice reaches your ears and you realize you must have been saying those things out loud. You nod against her chest and sniffle, trying to get yourself to stop crying. You had to tell Natasha, you have to get yourself ready and make yourself look presentable. 

Wanda helps you get ready, telling you soothing things every once in a while when you start to worry again, trying to reassure you that Natasha isn’t going to hate you. And, if anything, this is Natasha’s fault anyway, but she doesn’t say that part. She drives you to Yelena’s apartment where Natasha is staying for the time being and gives you a reassuring smile, saying she’ll be waiting right outside if you need her. But if you don’t come out in 15 minutes she’s leaving because she has to go open the bookstore for Darcy. 

You give her a weak nod and walk the now intimidating path up to Yelena’s apartment. You stand outside for a whole two minutes before getting the courage to knock. You knew Yelena wasn’t home and that it would be Natasha to answer the door. The blonde went to kickboxing every Saturday morning and wouldn’t be back for at least another hour. 

Natasha is a little surprised to see you standing outside her door at 8:30 in the morning, but then she takes in your slightly red eyes and still tear stained cheeks and she’s ushering you inside with an arm around your waist and a concerned look on her face.

“What’s the matter, baby? Are you hurt? What happened? Do you need me to call Yelena? What’s going on?” The words tumble from Natasha’s lips before she can stop them, the need to protect you and make sure you’re safe overpowering anything else she might have wanted to say. Like how cute you look in her sweater. 

You shake your head and suddenly there are tears in your eyes again and your bottom lip starts to wobble. “No, p–please don’t call Yelena. I just– I need to talk to you.” You’re trying not to cry again, but you don’t know how to say it. You don’t know how to break the news in a way that won’t destroy the only thing you’ve wanted for the last four years. 

The concern in Natasha’s eyes isn’t making this any easier as she takes you over to sit on the couch, sitting next to you and taking your hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over your knuckles. “Alright, we can talk. You can talk to me. What’s going on, sweetheart?” 

“I-I…” Your fingers twitch nervously in her hands, “Natasha, I’m pregnant.” And the confession ruins any chance you had of stopping yourself from crying, afraid she’s going to push you away or yell at you or tell you to get out or–

Natasha’s eyes widen and her breathing stops for a moment, you’re pregnant? But you hadn’t slept together since– Oh. Oh. 

And then she snaps back to the present where you’re crying and she’s frozen like an idiot. And she’s gotta do something before you come to the wrong conclusion. This should be fine, though, right? She loves you, she can do this. She can do this, can’t she?

 “Hey, hey, hey. Look at me.” She speaks softly, cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears with her thumbs. She takes one look at your face and now she’s trying to keep the tears out of her own eyes. “Everything’s gonna be okay, yeah, baby? Everything’s gonna be fine. We’re gonna figure it out.” She brings your head towards her chest and wraps one arm around you while the other strokes your hair. You’re crying harder now, but you think maybe they might be relieved tears, happy ones, even? 

“We’re gonna figure it out.” She murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Yeah, she can do this.

[universalitgirlsblog2]

🩷🌸PROTECT YOUR ENERGY🌸🩷

🩷🌸Your energy is sacred and precious. It is so important to protect, cherish and nourish your energy in this chaotic world. Stop giving away your energy as if it is not valuable and precious currency. Do not give away your energy to mindlessly consuming things on the internet or to other people. Stop being always available. Not everything or everyone needs our response🩷🌸

🩷DO NOT DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE

Stop giving your energy and attention to things you do not want to see. Focus on the positive things , shift from complaining to gratitude. You can also repeat the mantra -

" I am now through my sovereign divine right calling back my power and my energy from all the people , places and past events where I have given my energy away consciously or unconsciously where my energy has been taken without my consent or with my consent. I call back my energy now . "

🌸SET BOUNDARIES

Boundaries are more about you than other people. If you have a diamond at home , you will protect it , right ? Similarly, your energy is ad precious and valuable as a diamond. Protect it. I made a post on summary of Tam Kaur video on boundaries. I would suggest you to read it. Click me !!!

🩷SELF-CARE

Make self-care your daily ritual. Workout , Meditate , Do Yoga , Mirrorwork , listen to Guided meditation and do breath-work. These things work miraculously. It is the little things that matter.

🌸BE MINDFUL

Be mindful of what you consume. On social media , there are people who feed on negativity . On youtube , you may find some youtubers who love to feed on negativity and offend people to get views and engagement. Please do not waste your time watching those youtubers , watch youtubers who inspire you , it can be the wizard liz , if you want to take inspiration for mindset or it can be a productive vlog . Anything which will inspire you and help you to level up in your life. I would recommend you to check out these two posts where I mentioned youtubers who can help you to be motivated and productive - click me and click me !! Unfollow influencer or celebrities you do not like , give you bad vibes or make you feel insecure. Follow content which will motivate and educate you. Do not engage in a conversation with toxic people. Let them be. Limit your exposure to negative influences. Do not be friends with anyone , not everyone deserves your attention and energy.

🩷DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

It is never personal. Whatever people say about you , it is not about you. It is a reflection about them .

🌸CLEAN YOUR SELF-TALK

You do not have to believe everything you think. You have the right to choose what you believe. Write down your negative thoughts and switch them with positive ones.

I cannot do this -- I can do anything I put my mind into .

No one believes in me --- I believe in myself and that is enough.

🩷TAKE A BREAK

Stop mindlessly scrolling . Take a break from social media. Social media can be extremely draining. Put a time limit on social media. Be as intentional you can be about the media you consume. Follow positive influencers which will motivate and educate you.

🌸GRATITUDE

" A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles ".

When was the last time you were truly grateful for what you have ? Here is a small thing you need to do - before going to bed , think about the five things you are grateful for.Thank God or Universe for the blessings. Shift your focus from complaining to gratitude.

🩷FIND HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS

Over-eating , smoking or drowning yourself in alcohol to numb your emotions will not heal you. Be courageous enough to deal with your emotions. Journal your emotions , do shadow work , meditate , cry or exercise. Adopt healthy coping mechanisms , they will help you in future too.

🌸CHOOSE YOURSELF

Choose yourself. Put yourself first.Be your own best friend. Be your biggest fan. Put your needs and wants first. You can never leave you , you will always be there for yourself.

🩷UNDERSTAND WHEN YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOURS.

Sometimes our thoughts do not belong to us , they belong to some comment we read on internet . Ask yourself- " Are these really my thoughts ? " . If the answer is no , do not entertain those thoughts and let them go.

🌸🩷That is all for today. I hope this post helped you. Do not just read and like this post , apply the tips too ! Please protect your energy , it is precious , so are you !!!!🩷🌸

[blueberrycig]

cant stop thinking abt coach zweig plsss this is to honour @amymbona

more specifically coach zweig helping you release some tension after an injury (18+ obvi)

just how hard he is on you and how much he enjoys seeing you pushing your body against all boundaries just to please him, like..

cricket chirps have been filling the air as the street lights flicker on and you push your body through the final set of drills. you don’t know how much more you can take as your muscles scream for a five-minute break, but his eyes are on you. he’s staring you down, an unchanged expression from the moment you strolled into morning practice that has now tumbled into the dark. this is becoming expected.

coach zweig’s voice bellows across the court, addressing you by name, "that backhand is sloppy. play like you mean it," his voice is made of hard stone. “how badly do you want this?” 

you gulp down the anxiety building in your throat, your eyelids heavy from exhaustion. you’ve been at this for weeks since you won the last challenger because “complacency is the death of winners.”

the statement rings out in your brain. you dig deep and the cool night air blows on your neck as a sign of encouragement from the earth. you summon every ounce of energy, never faltering under the unyielding eye of coach zweig and sprint towards the net for a drop shot. you push that bit too hard though, landing awkwardly on your left foot. 

the result is a shooting pain striking through your ankle and up your leg. you stumble, succumbing to the ground, clutching your ankle with a gasp. even in the most intense pain, you’re reluctant to show weakness in front of your coach. you are blinking back stinging tears and reducing any outward cries to meek whimpers. 

he’s at your side instantly, "what happened?" 

his voice carries concern. possibly not because you’re hurt and writhing in pain, but because the country’s newest tennis prodigy is hurt. meaning cancelled games, sponsorships and most of all, a loss of income. 

“i think i-ah- i- rolled it,” you wince but attempt to rise and continue the practice. you know the implications of this as well as he does. “i’ll be okay- ah- fuck.” 

"stop moving," harsh, yet the foundations are gentle and quiet. "let me take a look."

carefully, he examines your ankle. you flinch under his probing and cling your arm around his wide shoulders for some comfort, instinctively leaning into him. under the firm and cautious touch of your ankle, it’s the most warmth you’ve received since he started coaching you. 

the lingering smell of marlboro reds consumes your nostrils. another vice he prohibits you from enjoying. no smoking, no drinking, no late nights and especially, no sex. anything that can affect your game is off limits, much less a rocks-for-brains frat boy.

he hopes you’re smarter than to let someone who didn’t deserve to be even near you get a chance to be with tennis’ up-and-coming star girl. it will ruin the illusion. you’re sweet, pure, virginal and inaccessible. the country’s sweetheart, coached by former champion, patrick zweig. a dynamic duo. he coaches, you listen. he asks you to jump, you say “how high?” it’s the way you work, and the way you both make your money. 

he does truly believe you won’t embarrass him by letting some college idiot into your untouched panties, yet for now, he’ll continue to drill the rules into you.

“it’s swelling" he observes. “let’s get some ice on this."

he supports your weight into the physiotherapy room, an arm still wrapped around him. you’re so frustrated with yourself, the pain almost enveloping that of the injury. it’s becoming increasingly difficult to hold back tears of annoyance and a few slip out, despite your best efforts. 

you hiss curses under your breath as zweig guides you to the massage table and props your leg up on a foam block. your eyes are squeezed shut as you beat yourself up. you need to do better. be the best. he wouldn’t be so hard on you if you just stopped fucking up like this. you pray to whatever tennis god is listening that you’ll be able to practise tomorrow. 

you’ll be up at 5am - fuck 4am - if it means you aren’t put out for the season. 

zweig, as intuitive as any good coach, can pick up on your anguish, “stress isn’t going to help you.” 

he attempts to reduce the swelling with a cold pack, which he lays gently on your ankle. it’s a welcome relief that means you can finally exhale the air you’ve been holding in, but the pain is still evident. 

he sits next to you. you’re scanning his face for any mirrored worry as he runs his hand through black curls and scratches light stubble growing on his face.

guilt suddenly courses through your stomach, and tears begin to puddle again as you whisper towards your tennis skirt, "i’m sorry, coach. i messed up.”

“do you know why i push you so hard?” he asks. “because i see your potential. more than you do. you can be one of the best, but you’re not going to get there without someone actually giving a fuck about you.” 

you nod at him with big, wet eyes, experiencing a foreign sensation of comfort. you take a deep breath, in and out, for some extra pain relief, but gasp again in hurt when the foam brick shifts beneath your ankle. 

your coach shoots up in an instant, gently fixing it back in place. 

“small movements,” he murmurs, rearranging the ice pack. “is it just your ankle?”

“i don’t know,” you respond, tears falling quietly and rolling down your neck. “everything hurts. i’m so tired.”

he’s hit with a flash of regret, watching you swallow your sadness on the table and eyes flowing silently. if he’s a sick man, he’ll tell himself right now that he’s always preferred you when you’re crying. there’s something about you, so young and malleable. especially when you’re looking up at him for an answer or begging for a break. eyes twice as big and lip quivering with shame. like a little battered puppy. 

he reassures himself that he’s not a sick man - that he’s your coach who wants the best for you, but the cock twitching against his shorts says otherwise. you’ve honestly never looked prettier.

he’s sincerely trying not to think with his dick right now. he did enough of that in his twenties. he doesn’t fuck everything that moves now. he’s devoted his life to tennis after entering the coaching route and realising it’s where he was destined to be the entire time. 

in fact, patrick zweig is engaged now. yes, engaged. to an inoffensive woman named claire, who makes birthday cakes and doesn’t complain when patrick spends all his free time on the court. she’s actually a pretty composed woman, well-put together and a child of god, which is much more than anyone expects of patrick zweig’s lovers. 

long are the days of chasing pussy, fucking people he isn’t supposed to fuck, sexual entanglements with people who now want his head on a spike and especially, sleeping with people a little too young for him. 

he constantly hammers into himself, professional coaches do not think about their players this way, eyes trailing up your legs to the top of your curved ass as you bend down for your morning stretch, i think i’m addicted to sex. 

this revelation makes him go harder on you during training. that if you work hard enough, coach zweig begin to see you as an actual respectable player rather than someone he would have pulled his eyes out to fuck 10 years ago. 

but now you’re laying in the physiotherapy room, whimpering and overwhelmed. clutching onto his arm for some affection, and looking to him for resolve like some sort of injured baby bird. your tennis skirt is sinfully riding up from the position you’re in, revealing your dainty white panties that are printed extremely informatively. they let him know that it’s tuesday, with the tiniest ribbon bow to finish them off. 

he’s convinced you’ve been sent here as a test from the god claire prays to. 

“does it hurt here?” he asks, gently pressing into your lower calf. your skin feels like satin, barely a mark on it. you nod, biting into your bottom lip. “have you been getting enough rest?” 

you shake your head - of course you haven’t, the last few nights have been coupled with anxiety due to your burgeoning tennis career. he moves slowly up your leg, grabbing gently to see where the pain eases off. his hands feel rough from years of clutching onto rackets. 

“you remember our rules, right?” 

“yes, no drinking, no drugs, no boys.” your voice is trembling, but growing steadier as he massages thumbs into your knees. “focus on training, follow the dietary plan, get enough sleep.” 

coach zweig nods to himself and continues to feel your skin, “and why do we have those rules?” 

“because if i want to be the best, i need to be disciplined. no distractions. committed to you.” 

“exactly,” zweig confirms, giving your knee a squeeze reassuringly. “i would have killed to have someone look after me like i look after you. these rules are there to help you, keep you focused - not break you. they’ll protect you from things that can derail your dreams.” 

he’s smoothly runs his large hand in languid circles from knee to thigh, in an attempt to offer some gentleness. with each loop, he gets dangerously close to your sweet underwear. but he’s just making you feel better. like any sane person would. he doesn’t miss how your nipples are rock hard and pushing against the fabric of your little tennis dress. 

“i know,” you say, looking up at him. “sometimes it feels like too much. like i’m not allowed to live a normal life. girls my age, they’re going out - having fun - i’ve never even spoken to a boy off the court.” 

so you want fucked.

a small nagging part of him feels bad. you look so relaxed lying there, ice pack finally numbing your ankle, his fingertips running comfortingly up and down the length of your inner thigh. maybe he’s been expecting too much without giving you enough space to breathe, subjugating your needs and desires. maybe he could fix this. balance is important. he’ll remedy this the only way he’s ever known how, all while sticking to your shared mantra.

after all, he isn’t a boy. he’s the only man who knows what's best for you. 

so, he bites the bullet, and lets his fingertips go where they haven’t ventured, where they’ve always desired. your breath hitches in your throat as his hand ghosts over your panties, hovering and roaming the skin around the vicinity. you clutch his arm, unsure what his plans are. “relax, relax,” he reassures softly, taking his other hand and weaving it in your hair to forcefully look at him. “you’re so tense, let me help you.” 

your eyes are blazing into his, blinking back any alarm. he’s only trying to help you. he’s looking at you so caringly, an expression you’ve never been privy to. 

while clinging onto his arm still, you nod, aching to feel some semblance of relaxation. your heart is beating a hundred miles a second, looking up at your coach, who is now slowly rubbing over your cotton panties. you feel panicked,

“coach, i-i’ve never-” 

you’re swallowing your breath, consumed with heat and emotion. “i know, baby. you need to relax.” he murmurs. “i’ve got you.” 

you exhale, letting coach zweig guide your head to rest against the side of his torso, securing the back of your neck in his free hand. you’re both now watching what he’s doing to you as you pool with pent-up desire. 

his movements are painfully slow, letting you get used to his rhythmic motions. the slothful actions tease the fabric against your aching clit, causing you to burrow into his rigid body and catch the sinful moans in your throat. 

he’s hard as a rock, throbbing, as you mewl into the side of his body, hiding for protection. god, you’re so innocent and little. letting your coach make you feel better because he knows better than anyone else what’s good for you. 

he slides down beneath the cotton, his fingers locating your aching warmth with ease. jesus, how could you be so drenched already? he dips into your slick, gathering your honey up so he can smear it all over your clit. he loops, over and over, and over again, with sloppy, lazy movements. 

“ah, oh my-” you breathe, unable to contain your voice any longer. you're holding onto his abs now, clutching onto the foreign feeling before you lose yourself completely. “ah, i-” 

fuck, zweig never thought he would have you like this, always shoving the fantasy to the back of his mind for the sake of a monotonous life. you’re absolutely pulsating and falling apart beneath him, experiencing an obscene form of pleasure for the first time in your life. all thanks to him. 

what he would do to throw you right over that massage table, those little tuesday panties tangled around your ankles and slam his dick right into your tiny, pulsing virgin hole. 

he knows you’re begging for more now, gripping onto him for dear life. he can feel your throbbing clit pleading for him to go faster against his fingers. so he listens.

“does that feel good?” he knew it was a silly question considering you were practically going in and out of reality, consumed by a haze that you never wanted to escape. you’re desperate for coach zweig to make you feel like this forever.

“y-yes,” you mix in with a whimper, “thank you, coach.” 

zweig tries to contain himself at how fucking slutty you sound - coach - he’s feeling fire erupt in his lower abdomen, his cock begging to be touched by your little, pure hands. but not now. 

time is slowing for you as zweig sends waves of electricity coursing through your body. what the fuck is this feeling? the coil in your stomach is beginning to release, white static beginning to encroach on your vision. 

your moans and whimpers are building as you return yourself onto the back rest, taking coach zweig’s other hand tightly in both of yours. you grip him into the valley of your breasts, chest heaving up and down as you clutch onto him and succumb to the pleasure. you release with a noise you didn’t think you could produce.

your body feels like it’s made of jelly. gooey and melting. there’s a sheen of sweat where you’re holding zweig against you, and all down your legs, gleaming in the clinical light. 

coach zweig removes his soaking fingers from your underwear and fixes your dress back in place. his face has returned to it’s usual stoicness. 

he comes close to you, eye-to-eye, one large hand enveloping your hip,

“if you ever feel like breaking the rules, you come to me from now on, okay?” 

you nod furiously at him, aching to feel his hands against you again and suddenly feeling cold with him not playing with you anymore. 

you both convince yourself that night, he’s just doing what any coach would do.

[veritasangel]

Sanctuary Lost

Ft. ghoap x therapist!reader - part 1

sum: just when you think their fascination with you couldn't get any worse...it does :/

contains: anypov, unhealthy boundaries, manipulative ghoap, obsessive/stalker behaviour, home invasion

wc: 2.2k

a/n: i try to write write things shorter but it's impossible for me, i swear (i'll proofread later)

The weeks after that night at the bar bled together in one dizzying whirl of confusion, blurred lines, and creeping dread. What once was a professional relationship, so carefully oiled and controlled, became something so much more insidious, and you found yourself right in the middle of just what you had sworn to avoid.

Yet, it was not just the boundaries between therapist and patient that were shattered. It was deeper; far more dangerous.

Simon started requesting more sessions: longer, more often. You tried at first to keep it within reason, within the professional limits. But he had a way of breaking down your defences, of using your empathy against you. His eyes, always so dark, intense, would bore into yours, wordlessly begging you to stay just a little longer, to listen just a little more.

And you did. Because how could you not? The way he spoke about his past, the trauma, the nightmares-it was gut-wrenching. You felt responsible for helping him, easing his suffering. But the more you gave, the more he took.

He started asking questions again, this time about your life-at first very subtly, but then with more insistence. And somewhere in the midst of all that, it went from being about his healing to about him needing you to be near him.

One night you returned home, later than usual and exhausted. It was supposed to be the one place you go to when you want to get away from work and just relax. But as you stepped inside, your heart just dropped at the sight greeting you.

Simon sat there, on your sofa, his huge frame almost dwarfing the small space. He didn't glance up upon your entrance, just kept his eyes to some faraway focal point, lost in thought. This wasn't the first time he had overstepped boundaries, but this felt different-more intrusive, more deliberate.

"Simon," you began, laying your bag down, the quake in your voice so clear. "What are you doing here?"

His eyes, at last, held yours-haunted, as if he had been fighting some demon deep within him. "I needed to see you," he said in a low, hoarse voice. "I couldn't stay away.

You stepped backward, instincts screaming that this was wrong and you should get out. "You can't just come here," you said, trying to keep your voice firm, but it shook. "This is my home, my private space."

"We were just concerned about you, is all." He says, looking down at a notepad on your table

It was then that Soap walked out of the kitchen, mug of tea in hand.

You looked at them, heart racing in your chest as the reality of your situation set slowly in. They have invaded every aspect of your life. There was no escape, no place that was yours alone. They have taken over everything.

"I want my key back," you said, trying to put some authority into your voice, but it came out weak, almost pleading. Soap chimes in, holding his other hand up to reveal a key, "It's not your key, we got our own set."

That's when you notice the notepad Simon's looking at, the one with an officer's number on it.

You felt a cold sweat break out along your spine. The hum of your pulse was in your ears; your breathing was shallow and quick. 

The image of the notepad with the officer's number on it started a spiral in your brain. You had jotted it down after one of the especially disturbing calls with Simon, thinking that you might need some backup. You'd never intended to use it, at least not until you could justify involving the authorities.

But now, seeing it in Simon's hands, knowing they'd been through your stuff, brought a sickly twist to your gut.

With that, Soap took a leisurely sip from his mug, now resting against the kitchen doorway. Never once did he look away from your eyes. His ease in your space filled you with a deep, gnawing unease. This was beyond a breach of bounds—it was a complete and utter violation of life, privacy, and autonomy.

"That officer's number," Simon said very softly, bringing your attention back to him. "What were you planning on doing with it?"

The question was factual, but the implication was anything but. You could almost smell the accusation in the air, the silent threat.

"I—" You stammered, trying to find the words. But your mind was a chaotic mess, and the weight of their stares made it impossible to think clearly.

Soap laughs, "Come on, what are they gonna do, sweetheart? They don't do shit on their best days."

It seemed like the very walls were closing in on you—not to mention the sheer weight of their words crashing upon your chest. Soap's cackling laughter boomed in your ears, a vivid accompaniment to the general air of hostility. 

Simon's stare was unrelenting; it was wordless but full of the power to break you.

You tried to steady your breathing, fighting against the panic rising in your chest. "You can't keep doing this," you said, your voice shaking. "This isn't just about helping Simon anymore. It's harassment. It's wrong."

Simon didn't change his expression, but there was a cold gratification in his eyes. "You're right," he replied softly. "This isn’t what therapy is supposed to be. But we are past that point now. It isn't just about your job or our sessions. This is personal now, can’t you see?”

Soap stepped closer and his eyes narrowed slightly. "You're the only one who's been able to keep him grounded," he added, dropping his voice down to just above a whisper. "You think you can just walk away from that responsibility? From everything you've built?

Those words hit you in the gut. They took that sense of duty and responsibility you have, twisted it, and used it as a weapon against you to make you feel guilty for getting your own life back. The logic was insidious-you second-guess yourself and your decisions and needs.

I am not his saviour," you said, trying to keep your voice as even as possible while turmoil raged in your soul. "I am a therapist, and I should help, not be controlled or threatened.

Simon's face relaxed, but there was no warmth in it. "We're not asking for anything more from you," he said softly, deceptively so. "We're merely informing you that the boundaries you once did have are no longer there. You're part of this now, either you accept it, or things get a little…difficult.”

You stood there while the walls of your own apartment closed in on you, your personal space now a battlefield of control and dominance. The freedom so quickly taken for granted was now lost, trapped in a cage made from your own compassion and their unending manipulation.

Simon stood up from the couch, his tall frame casting a long shadow across the room. "We'll give you time to get used to it," he said; his voice was modulated even and had something in it that ran a shiver down my spine.

He walks over, taking your hand as he passes you the phone number, "Or you could try and call your friendly police officer, see if he's any use. But remember, not everyone is as reliable as you might hope.

Soap spoke with a casual lightness that did not match at all the threat in his words. "Could be that he's a bit tied up at the moment," he said, an unpleasant edge in his smile. "Might not be as easy to reach as you once thought.”

Simon's fingers had lingered on yours a second more than necessary, his cold impression lingering long after he had pulled his hand back. He had held your gaze in a calculated intensity, as if to measure the effect of their words.

"We could be a great team," Simon said, with one of those tender face-cupping gestures that was downright bizarre under the circumstances. "We look out for you, you look out for us. That's how it should work, right?"

"This place is definitely big enough for three," Soap added, his voice smooth and disconcertingly casual as he came closer. He laid his hand on your waist, the touch light yet firm, a physical reminder of the closeness they imposed.

The way Soap's hand settled on you was an invasive, odd intimacy, like a claim rather than comfort. Casualness, laced with undertones of threat in his words, signalling that this was not a suggestion but a demand for a new configuration of things. The space that had always been your sanctuary, now redefined by their presence.

Simon's eyes moved from your face down to where Soap's hand was laid to rest on your waist; a faint smile played at the corners of his lips. "We're just making sure you're not alone," Simon said, his voice low and soothing, though with a hidden menace carried within. "It's easier when we all take care of eachother.”

The soothing words of Simon juxtaposed with Soap's firm grip and it caused your skin to crawl. It was as if they were giving you a false sense of security while tightening their noose around you. You felt trapped with no apparent way out of the suffocating atmosphere created by the invasive familiarity of their touch and by the heavy implication of their words.

Simon's eyes remained on your face, tracing with disturbing intensity the lines of your expression. "You’re pretty when you listen, you know?" he said, his voice dripping with condescending affection. He tipped your head, his fingers brushing skin with a practised ease that was more invasive than reassuring.

Simon's eyes were unreadable, yet a glimmer of satisfaction danced within them, an acknowledgment or verification that your discomfort was enough to testify to their power. His finger stroked your jawline delicately, yet his touch was invasive in the manner that he was mapping your fear and vulnerability.

"There's something mesmerising about seeing you like this," Simon continued, his voice rising with an edge of dark fascination. "The way your defences crumble, how easily you fall into the roles we need you to play. It's almost poetic."

You tried to muster a fraction of composure, forcing a smile off your face against the tempest inside. "I must be a pretty shit therapist if this is how you've gone," you said, trying to inject a hint of humour into your tone as a mask for the depth of your distress.

Soap's lips curled into a sardonic smile, though there was a flicker of something more calculating in his eyes. "On the contrary," he said softly, his gaze never leaving yours. "You're so good at your job, it’s why you’re here. And Simon wouldn't be able to cope without you, me either, by extension.

Simon watched you, his face blank, though there was something darkly smug about his eyes as he said, "We'll give you space to think. We understand that it's plenty to take in. Take time to adjust. We'll be around."

With that, Simon and Soap moved to the door, their presence still looming over you even as they were leaving. Soap gave you a last, unsettling smile as he followed Simon out, leaving you standing alone in the entryway. The succeeding silence was deafening; only the soft click of the door as it closed behind them managed to break it.

The wave of exhaustion and anxiety welled up inside of you. Your mind raced, trying to work through the weight of their visit and the new reality they'd placed upon you. The walls of your apartment felt like they were closing in-the space that was yours now a battleground.

You wanted to try and get some normalcy back, forget everything had ever gone this way so you quickly headed up to your bedroom. But as you opened the door, the sight stopped you dead in your tracks.

Boxes littered the floor of your room. They were filled with personal things: clothes and toiletries, and a variety of other items that didn't belong to you. These boxes sat in full view, with their names clearly marked on the sides, making your blood run cold. There was no escaping this physical reminder of an invasion-that this was somehow a new order in your life.

You sank onto the edge of your bed, feeling the weight of their intrusion settling heavily on your shoulders. The sight of the moving boxes—Simon and Soap's personal belongings—encroaching upon what once was your space was like a physical manifestation of the control they were trying to exert in your life. The walls that were protecting you a little while ago now seemed like barriers, closing in, a cage made from their demands and manipulations.

You sat there, trying to digest the invasion, when your phone buzzed on the nightstand. You flipped onto your side to grab it, looking for a distraction. Instead, you saw a new message notification from the officer's number you'd hoped to use in an emergency.

You opened the message, your fingers trembling as you read the text:

'Sleep well, love - Riley & MacTavish'

༄ m.list

© veritasangel ↣ 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴

[burst-of-iridescent]

i've written before about how fire lady katara isn't an inherently disempowering or racist trope, as have many others, but lately i've been thinking about how arguments against fire lady katara often tend to utilise a surface-level interpretation of colonial trauma.

[edit: this post will use the term "colonial trauma" because those who argue against fire lady katara usually use the same wording or are referring to that concept. but it's important to note that according to show canon, the fire nation did not colonize the southern water tribe and zuko and katara did not have a colonizer/colonized relationship.]

antis who present this argument usually posit that marrying zuko would be a form of re-traumatization for katara, while marrying aang would "protect" her. katara is supposedly more shielded from confronting the impact of colonization in the southern water tribe or on air temple island than she would be with zuko in the fire nation, which contextualizes colonial trauma purely through the lens of physical interaction with the colonial power (ie. living in the fire nation or looking after the people of the fire nation). whether intended or not, this argument inadvertently limits colonial trauma to the geographical boundaries of the colonizing country and implies that it can be reduced or averted solely by minimizing contact with said country.

even leaving aside that we have seen katara in the fire nation (and enjoying herself there), the implication here is that active engagement with a colonial power as a member of colonized peoples is an inherent form of re-traumatization... which i take issue with for multiple reasons.

firstly, katara lives in a world that has been permanently shaped and changed by imperialism, and that's going to affect her no matter where she goes. sequestering herself in the south pole her whole life and never seeing a glimpse of fire nation red again won't allow katara to escape the legacy of colonization or the trauma it has caused her, because its influence is rooted in everything from her family to her tribe to her own bending. believe me, i understand the appeal of a world where women of colour can avoid reckoning with the impact of colonization by simply never setting foot in the colonizing country again, and why people might be uncomfortable with zutara individually as a result - but i can't accept it as a valid argument against the ship, because that's just not how colonial trauma works.

secondly, the idea that this "protects" katara reeks of paternalism because katara is not a character who chooses her path simply based on how safe or comfortable it is. if that was the case, she would never have left the southern water tribe at all! she could've remained there her whole life and likely been safe, since the fire nation had no real interest in the south pole any longer. katara is fundamentally defined by how relentlessly revolutionary she is - over and over, she chooses to do what is right, what is hard, what is unexpected, even at cost to herself. she challenges injustice and discrimination and bigotry; she fights for the downtrodden and speaks for those who can't speak for themselves; she will never ever turn her back on the people who need her. does that truly sound like someone who needs to be hid away and protected from her own supposed re-traumatization?

thirdly - and i fully accept that there are those who might disagree with this - katara actively choosing to engage with her colonial trauma can be empowering just as it can be traumatizing. don't get me wrong: as a woc and a minority in my own country, i understand how tiring it is to do this. i understand the exhaustion of confronting what was done to you and your people, of facing down bigotry over and over. i understand the desire to run away from it all, and why it can be wish fulfilment for others to let katara do so. i really, really do.

but there is also wish fulfilment in letting katara fight, as a brown girl with power and resources that few brown girls in the real world hold. there is a power fantasy in seeing katara head into the belly of the beast and emerging triumphant. there is empowerment to be found in seeing katara struggle with racism and ignorance and mindless hate to enact change - and succeed. i love reading and writing about katara unpacking her trauma regarding the fire nation, about growing to love the place she once hated, about reconciling both her homes and healing from the wounds of her childhood.

and ultimately, i think that's what katara would want for herself. after throwing herself head first into the fight against the fire nation, after facing down her greatest trauma instead of letting it consume her, after helping and protecting the people of the fire nation, after refusing to let the fire nation take anything else from her - i firmly believe that the last thing katara would do is allow herself to be ruled by the fire nation instead of being the one ruling it.

personally, i find that a more hopeful and victorious narrative than one where she remains safe and sheltered away from the fire nation, but forever haunted and dictated by her trauma. would that be realistic? perhaps. but the entire point of foiling katara with characters like jet and hama is to show that she's not doomed to be mired in the pain of her past. that where their stories could only end in tragedy, hers can - and does - end in hope for something better, as she always believed it could.

[redcherrykook]

── ˙✧°📷 TORN PICTURES AND FROZEN LENSES 5

────୨ৎ────

College Photography Teacher!Jungkook x Student!Reader

27 year old, stupidly handsome asshole teacher Mr. Jeon has absolutely no human decency, he believes your victim complex is what keeps you from ever achieving anything, letting people use you as a bridge. When something unexpected happens, the ice starts to melt as a foreign word called "empathy" enters his egocentric lense. Maybe he will finally manage to teach you a lesson now, since you keep failing his class.

(Mini series)- Episode five!

Song recommendation: white Mustang- Lana del rey

Content: Cold, mean, distant, unprofessional Jungkook, hurt, stubborn reader, enemies to lovers, lowkey dramatic, accident happens, mutually beneficial relationship (emotionally), Jk learns a lot from her, Jk is mean but has a soft spot for reader (eventually), 6 year age gap, Reader is from a struggling background, Jk kind of rescues her, happy ending, angst at first, fluff, smut, comedy/crack, bickering, college setting, brief hospital setting

Warnings: swearing, name-calling,mentions of an accident involving a biker, mentions of hospital, mentions of injuries, really mean Jungkook, i promise he gets sweet, mentions of trauma and abuse (non detailed), mental health struggles (semi detailed), arguments

Sexual content: (light) praise kink, (light) size kink (lmao next episode bout to go crazy with that one), oral; fem. receiving, chest play, making out

Taglist: @bts-iris @kaeysv @khadeeeeej @rockstryoon

────୨ৎ────

Another day, another night spent on the couch of Jungkook, watching some sort of show with him, munching on dinner he cooked.

He got used to cooking for two.

Its been a week,

A week that turned into a week and a half.

Still no calls, no places, no friends to crash at.

Not even Taehyung, his fraternity house is much worse than just staying with Jungkook.

Not like it bothered you, Jungkook is comfortable, he has a cozy apartment with enough space for two people.

Growing borderline nice from day to day.

His little gestures like buying two of the icetea he drinks, like changing the sheets if you had class the days he hadn't, cooking jjajangmyeon without onions because you hate them.

It was easy to get used to his routine, to bicker with him daily, to sit next to him when he works on his lesson preperation, while you study for your classes.

Sleeping in his shirt, doing your laundry in his bathroom, and accidentally stumbling across his calvin klein's.

It felt intimate at times, like living together was more than just that.

Tonight is different.

Tonight would be your very first party.

After a whole week of persuasion, Taehyung talking your ear off about how fun it was, how many people you could meet, how you could dance your heart away.

You decided, fuck it. One party.

"To be clear, I'm NOT drinking and i swear if you touch me, Taehyung, I will actually strangle you" loud and clear, your boundaries set while you're on call with him. Taehyung called you at 10pm as you were peacefully watching "Running man" with Jungkook, at first you shut off the call.

Until another followed by another call coming through.

"Just come on! once! One single time" he begged, Jungkook's jaw clenching at the voice from the other end of the phone.

He simply can not stand Taehyung, the way he devours you with his eyes, the way he talked you into doing things you don´t normally want to do,

like parties.

In desperate need of social contacts and having some serious fun, a party doesn't sound too bad anymore, Tae would keep his hands off, now that you told him to.

"You're seriously going?" Jungkook asks once you end the call, his eyes stern and burning through you, judging you almost.

"Yeah. You can enjoy a night to yourself again, I won't get back late, I promise" you smile at him, already thinking of what to wear from your very limited selection of clothes.

He scoffs, pressing his lips together.

"What? Got something against it?" your head tilts, a playful smirk on your lips.

His eyes move away from yours and back to the flashy TV screen.

"Just not looking forward to having to pick you up wasted, possibly having to push off some jerk to even get to you" his tongue presses the inside of his cheek, not making eye contact with you. A strong hand is rubbing his thighs that are spread on his couch, while the other one moves through his hair, lifting his arm enough to see his well defined triceps.

A part of you hopes that he was jealous, that he hated the thought of you making out with some college jerk, just like you hated the thought of making out with anyone that wasn't him.

There was nothing left to confront, nothing to deny.

You have a crush on Jungkook, on your photography teacher that you live with.

Maybe it was the intimacy of living with him, but the racing heartbeat in your chest, the pertruding smile on your face whenever he smiled too, even if slight, even if to make fun of you,

The throbbing between your thighs when he speaks in his sultry, low voice. The way his hair is messy most of the time, how his muscles flex when he's working, his groans of frustration, making you wonder just how he could sound if he groaned more. Your thoughts when he drives with his skillful fingers, the way he licks his lip piercing when he's focused. Having to surpress the thoughts of what happened, almost happened, when you were both drunken by the burning alcohol.

All of it is impossible to ignore, to talk yourself into believing it´s nothing.

Every inch of him, of his habits, it made you flaunt for him. Wishing that instead of his shirt, it was him, sleeping next to you peacefully.

Looking at him ever so often, hoping to catch him looking back.

Even taking longer in the shower when your wandering thoughts get accompanied by your wandering hands.

It is wrong, it is so wrong because he's your teacher, because the goodness behind his hard exterior helped you through your own mess in life.

And yet, you find yourself going out to party away the thought of him, only to return back to him the same night.

"Don't worry kook, I'm not drinking. You won't have to pick me up, just enjoy your night alone" you make your way into the guest bedroom to change.

"Am not worried, you're old enough" he grumbles as you walk away.

Of course, he wasn't worried.

Until he's stuck in his living room, pacing around.

He glances at the clock, 2:15 am, still no text, still no doorbell.

Originally, Jungkook wasn't going to do anything special, just watch Tv and cook something nice for a midnight snack.

You had left the house at half past ten, in a pair of black low waisted cargos and a tight fitting crop tee. Black as well, matching your shoes too.

Simple, comfortable, not too revealing.

Not that he would have cared if someone saw you in a revealing outfit,

That's what he likes to believe. In reality, he would have probably come with you if you did, glaring at every guy who dared to look.

The thought of you not answering his text because of being drunk somewhere or being in bed with a guy you had just met made him sick.

"I'm not letting you walk back at this hour. Call me when you need me to pick you up. And don't start arguing over this"

Sent at 11:39, over two hours ago.

Left on delivered.

He sits back down, sighing and deciding to call over his best friend, turn this into a boys night.

You are out partying, probably having fun with other people, why shouldn´t he?

Dialing the familiar number, it rings briefly before a voice deep answers the phone.

"JK! what's up bro?" Mingyu greets

"I'm good. My student left so i thought i'd ask you to come over? Haven't hung out in a while" Jungkook humms while checking the pantry for any snacks.

"Your little girlfriend left? Miss her so much you gotta make your best friend keep you company?" Mingyu laughs loudly from the other side of the phone.

Naturally, being Jungkook's best friend, he knew about the night that you almost kissed. Ever since then, he's been teasing him about it. Pissing him off by insisting on calling you his "little girlfriend".

"Fuck off gyu, could´ve just said no asshole" he scoffs, ready to hang up the phone.

"Don't get so butthurt Jk, she's getting you soft already. I'll be there in 20. Wanna go to a bar?"

He ignores the other comment,

"Nah, I'll go pick her up later. Stop by to get some snacks" he replies casually.

"Alright. Where did she go by the way?" Mingyu just noticed that Jungkook hasn't mentioned why you weren't at his apartment tonight.

His scoff was enough response that could be heard on the other end of the call,

"A fucking frat party"

Mingyu chuckles, thinking up a cheeky reply, but he was too slow.

Jungkook hangs up the phone, waiting patiently for a ring on his doorbell, not sure if he was still waiting for you or Mingyu.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"You'e insane Tae" you shout through the blaring music, barely able to hear the sound of your own words against people screaming and a bass stronger than any drug that was being done around you.

There were many of those, openly at that.

"Is that good?" He shouts back, grinning.

The party is as expected of a frat house party, about sixty college students running around the large apartment, a pool, many couches filled with girls and all of that jock stuff.

Bottles flying around in the kitchen which you found yourself standing in right now, all types of alcohol and cocktail mixes in bowls, what ever is them no one really knows.

Clothes seem basically optional here, most guys are running around shirtless, most girls running to the pool that´s a few feet from the huge glass sliding door around the corner, wearing either underwear or nothing at all.

Taehyung thankfully being clothed.

He did, as usual, have a stupid thought. Thinking it was a great idea trying to outdrink his friend that you had just met,

And already hate.

Jackson, a tall football player who's shoulders are as huge as his ego. He, like the rest of the guys, is shirtless, covered in hickies that wrap all the way around his neck.

Apart from the fact that he's made out with four different girls that all called him some variation of the word 'baby',

he has also been eye fucking you since you first saw him

To which Taehyung is oblivious to, or has been ignoring.

Still, he promised you not to leave your side throughout the entire night, as well as making sure you don't drink, like you had said you wouldn't.

"What? Think I can't win?" He says again when noticing you silently judging him.

You roll your eyes, hands throwing upward to express just how ridiculous he's being "Not about winning, it's a stupid idea. I'm not gonna pick your ass up the floor"

Taehyung laughs in return, throwing back his first shot, to which Jackson follows

"You won't have to"

Jackson smirks, "nine more to go Tae"

"Easy buddy, gonna kick your ass" his voice sounding cocky, already on his way to pour the next shot of vodka.

"Sure you don't want a shot miss goody two shoes?" Jacksons eyes wander to your cleavage,

Eyes are up here, you think.

"Sounding like a broken record at this point. No drinks" you scoff at him, grossed out by his shameless behavior.

In order to distract yourself from the situation, your eyes wander around the apartment, looking for anything interesting.

People making out left and right, no matter if "Va Va Voom" or "Fe!n" played, no one cared who was looking, what lyric was blaring.

It made you cringe inside when you spotted a guy grinding against a girl you knew from Piano lessons, right next to two guys taking molly.

Never going to a frat party again, you think.

Upon first arrival, it was really fun. Tae was dancing his heart out with you, making small talk with some people here and there. You could engage with them as well. Soon enough, he started drinking, making himself tipsy within a couple shots and a beer.

By then you realized you would end up having to look after him at the end of the night, not the other way around.

While you came to make friends, it was practically impossible. Sure, amaybe small talk. Sadly, it always led to the same outcome:

Every girl coming up tried to get it in with Tae and glared at you for being with him or was too drunk.

Meanwhile every guy either tried to get you to drink, tried to touch you, to which Taehyung did push them off immediately, or was also well, way too drunk.

So much for making friends, i guess.

Noticing you have been zoning out for a while, your eyes glance back to the guys in front of you, leaning against the counter.

Wondering how many shots it has been since you last looked.

Both set the small, empty shot glasses on top of the surface.

"Six. Four left to go Tae" Jackson looks relaxed, flushed out a bit but definitely stable, definitely not tipsy yet.

Taehyung on the other hand was slurring his words, a drunkenly hazed smile spread flat across his flushed pink face.

" 'course man. Bring it on"

Shaking your head, you ponder if it was even worth staying still.

Time is truly a weird thing because just when the thought was finished, the words "I´m leaving" at the tip of your tongue,

The guys have already taken another shot, the 7th one back to back.

Tae opens his mouth to speak, presumably about to brag,

" s'easy Jacks-"

but, he can't finish his sentence due to gagging and quickly covering his mouth with his hand.

Of course.

You wince at the sight, Tae stumbles back fast, running and making his way to the bathroom on unstable footing.

That's to not leaving my side tonight, i guess.

A few minutes with Jackson would be fine, you suppose. Tae would be back soon enough.

"Come on princess, take a shot too. Loosen up a bit"

His steps approach you as he talks, his voice sounding like a little devil, waiting to convince you of his foolish plans.

You laugh a small, annoyed laugh,

One hand running through your hair as you talk,

"How many times have i told you I'm not drinking?" unamused, as you look him up and down

But he steps one foot closer, finger grazing your arm maliciously, bringing shivers to your skin at an instant.

"Come on, you need it. Let me give it to you princess, now that Taehyung is gone"

Instinctively tug your arm back, ready to scream in disgust.

But his grip only tightens, a whole palm wrapped around your wirst now, trapping you in his hold as he squeezes.

Angry and scared all at once, you shout at him, the sound coming from the bottom of your throat.

"Fuck off, i told you im not interested"

The pop music playing betrays you, drowning out your screams, reducing it to a hopless yelp.

Filled with rage and mentally cursing at Taehyung for being careless, your eyes flicker to the way which he had left, only to find it filled with everyone but him.

Jacksons arm swiftly moves to grab your hip as he steps closer, his other hand making its way to your waist. He leans down, breath close enough to make every single hair stand up on your neck.

"Fine, if you wanna act so stuck up, hope you know how to swim bitch. Might pull out the stck from your ass"

Before you could process what words had left his mouth, you were lifted up over his shoulders as he ran out the glass door.

no no no no no

A second later you are submerged in the cold water of the pool, splashing loudly,

Not failing to catch everyone´s attention.

The reality of what you had dreaded surrounding you as your mind runs miles.

Muffled you can make out people shouting, the water drowning out the sounds ever so slightly, dimming your lights.

Shutting out any other thoughts.

Fuck.

Helplessly, your arms move, trying to fight your way back up.

Gasping for a breath of air once your face had finally poked out from the greedy water below you,

A laughter breaks,

And another one,

Soon enough it felt like the whole campus was laughing at you, calling you pathetic.

When you manage to climb your way up to the surface completely, holding on to the rim for dear life, you hadn´t yet fully grasped what was going on,.

Everyone else on the other hand had, phones recording your smudged, drenched face and hair, clothes clinging to every nook of your figure, working hard to drag you back down by the heavy weight.

Weakly you pull yourself out of the pool, the sound of laughter still humiliating you, along with Jackson proudly walking off inside the party again.

Probably searching for his next victim.

Absolutely petrified and fucking freezing, you run back to the kitchen were you had left your bag minutes ago. Ready to find Taehyung and get the hell out of this mess.

Minutes before you were thrown in a pool on your first and certainly last frat party, being caught on camera on top of everything.

While pushing through people, you do happen to spot Taehyung,

on the couch,

making out shirtless with a girl that, not surprisingly, Jackson had made out with tonight as well.

That must have been your very last straw, he had not even gone looking for you, not even thinking of why you might be gone.

The dam holding back tears of embarrassment and frustration breaking, evrey single tear you had in you beginning to flow down your face, merging with the chlorinated water that´s already coated along your entirety.

Grabbing your purse and running out, you call the only person you knew to call.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

"FUCK YOU GYUUUU IM WINNING" the XBox Controller tightly clutched in his hand, hunched forward to stare at the screen that lights up his dark bedroom, Jungkook's voice rings through his apartment.

Fifa is not for the weak if you play with Jungkook.

"JEON JUNGKOOK YOU FUCKER" Mingyu screams back, slamming the controller down on the teachers bed.

He lost again, 5th time in a row. There is truly nothing that Jungkook can´t do, it seems.

"Mad huh? Mad?" he laughs, punching into his best friends arm jokingly, a wide and proud smile provoking every one of Mingyu´s nerves at once.

The moment is caught off by his phone ringing, interrupting Mingyu in the middle of trying to deck Jungkook straight in the stomach.

He picks it up, reading your name on his bright screen.

Mingyu, as curious as he is, listens for any words he could make out, planing to use it for teasing Jungkook later on.

Only to be met with loud cries and hics,

"Jungkook please come get me, something horrible happend i wanna go home please pick me up, please come get me, ah fuck" you ramble through sobs, not being able to think straight.

Jungkook's eyes soften at the noise, his eyebrows meeting together as worry washes through his body.

He looks at mingyu who seems equally as worried.

"Hey hey hey, it's okay. Just send me your location, it's okay, i'll drive fast" while he says this, his body shoots up, tucking his phone between his shoulder and face to put on a jacket and gather his keys in the meantime.

Mingyu stands up with him, rushing to put on his own shoes and jacket.

"Thank you, thank you" you mumble again, trying to tap your phone through blurry vision, barely managing to hold it together any second more.

The sounds from the other end stop, his phone slipping back in his pocket.

"Fuck gyu i might end up in jail today if someone fucking touched her" he groans, jutting down the stairs with his best friend following.

"I'll bail you out. Want me to tag along? Might need some help" he asks, wondering what could have possibly made you this upset.

So does Jungkook, thinking of the worst possible situations, a pang of guilt running through him.

Should have come with her, he thinks.

Jungkook shakes his head, "No no, thank you tough. I don't want her to feel unsafe, she might not wanna see anyone right now" his thoughts continue running ballistic, from going to hold you and reassure you that it is okay, to strangling who ever made you sob, made you sound so scared.

Mingyu smiles, "Take good care of her. You care about her a lot, that's good" he pats his back, before making his way down to his own car while Jungkook unlocks his.

Sitting down and scrambling to turn the engine on, he drives as fast as he can through the thankfully empty streets, keeping an eye on your live location in anxiety that it would move.

When he finally spots you, crying messily, squatted down next to a random building, his car pulls over.

Having to fight back the urge to cradle you, wipe all your tears.

Sure, he had seen you upset before, seen you hurt after something and usually, he'd be annoyed,

Having to muster up some empathy.

Not this time, not when you were falling apart in the cold, in the middle of the road.

There was nothing put empathy in his system.

Jungkook runs out of the car, crouching down in front of you, his eyes scanning your figure.

He notices your entire body shaking, clothes clinging to you, soaking wet. Once his eyes move up your face, he sees your wet hair sticking to your face with eyeliner running down to your jaw.

Eyes red and lips trembling.

"Y/n what.. what happened" he reaches forward to set a hand on your arm, his thumb stroking your cold skin, hoping to provide any warmth.

Every thought of beating up the person who had brought you to this state leaving him,

All he cares about when seeing you so fragile is wanting to make you feel okay.

Your voice comes out broken, wiping your tears with unstable hands. Even in the dark of the night, you could make up the worried expression on his face.

You felt ashamed, embarrassed to have to call him, to make him see you like this.

The look on his face earsed every trace of feeling pathetic before his eyes,

Knowing you were safe now.

He had never felt so angry and devastated combined, desperately he wants to stop your tears. Longing for anything that would return you to your usual self.

"home please i, i will tell y-you later"

Jungkook nods, standing up as he signals you to stand up as well.

Holding on to the wall behind you, you get up, only to stumble forward. The cold on your wet skin is too much, the wind pushing you back to the ground,

contributing to your already triggered state of mind.

It is all too much.

His strong arms catch you from falling to the floor, wrapping around your own shivering ones.

"It's okay. Can i carry you inside? Don't want you to fall" his eyes scan for any reaction, any indication of you being even slightly uncomfortable.

But you trust Jungkook, you needed him right now.

So you nod, looking back at him with a noticeable look of appreciation.

Gently, one of his hands move to wrap around your shoulders as he crouches down slightly. His other arm wraps around your thighs, delicately swinging you in his arms bridal style.

The water is dripping on to his own clothes, but he doesn´t even feel it at all, he doesn´t notice how your tears trickle down to his shirt when you try to hold up your head.

How your hair was whipping against his chest with every step.

The way he touches you is sweet enough to erase the marks of disgust left on your skin by Jackson's filthy hands.

Slowly he walks to the car, ducking his head and back to open the back door without having to set you down.

The crying has stopped out of pure exhaustion, although the comforting smell of Jungkook's clothes did contribute a fair amount.

He has begun to feel like home.

His arms reach forward to lay you down in the backseats.

"Try to relax okay? Im gonna get us home fast, it's gonna be okay" he mumbles, stroking your arm reassuringly as he let's go of you.

You don't manage to react in any way, even if your heart had swelled up in your chest.

Jungkook jogs to the drivers seat, making his way inside the car again.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The whole ride was completely silent. Not even the usual humming habit of Jungkook sounding in the car.

With your back pressed on the seats in the back your eyes are pried open, red and burning from the make up and salt on your face. You´re thinking of blocking Taehyung and never wasting a word on him ever again.

Almost blaming yourself for giving in and coming to the party in the first place.

The car comes to a hold, the familiar street greeting you when you sit back up to look around.

Jungkooks eyes looking at you from the mirror, releasing a breath he had held for way too long.

Thanking himself internally for keeping your vow of not drinking.

He gets out, walking over to open your door and sticking a hand out to you.

You look up at him with the weakest smile he had ever seen, admiring you for even being able to muster up any smile at all.

grit your teeth sometimes and keep going, he had told you back in the hospital.

Your own hand clasping into his, heart skipping a beat as he pulls you up.

His hand never left your own until he had opened the door to his apartment.

He didn't need to ask this time, knowing you would take his hand.

It made him melt when you did.

"I'm gonna get you clothes okay? Sit down on the couch" the words ring in your ears wonderfully, feeling thankful for his help once again.

As he disappears into the guest bedroom, you run your hands down your face in disbelief.

Being thrown in a pool and called a bitch for rejecting guy was not your bucket list, ever.

Coming back with a hoodie and one of your sweatpants as well as socks, he sets them down next to you.

"Thank you kook" you mumble, looking to the floor in sheer embarrassment.

Jungkook had seen you in situations you didn't even know where possible.

"Don't worry. Im gonna get the hair dryer and make up wipes, just say something when you're done changing" his hands reach down to stroke your shoulders.

At this point you knew,

you knew that Jungkook had fully embraces you into his life.

The way his eyes look at you with no sign of the stern glare he still mingled with until now. The way his voice is rough but reassuring, the way his hands keep touching you in an effort to make up for the hurt on your face.

He locks himself in the bathroom, pulling out make up wipes from your cosmetic bag and gathering up the caple of the dryer while you sit on the couch, slowly changing your clothes into warm and dry ones.

Looking at himself in the mirror startled him.

Not even Jungkook could really recognize himself,

Sharp features of his reflection staring back at him with worry, asking himself if you felt okay on his couch right now.

"Done" you shout out, still choked up from the loud sobbing previously, throat itching slightly from the cold.

The door opens once again, walking to you before plugging in the dryer. He sits down, immediately looking at you.

"Here. Take your time okay?"

"Okay" your fingers reach to the wipes, erasing the traces of the ruined make up that you had put on beautifully hours prior.

A pathetic attempt to trust in people that had let you back down again,

Cruel world.

Turning own the dryer, you start combing through your hair softly, finally filling your freezing head with warmth.

Finally making your entire body as warm as the presence of Jungkook.

Silence returns to the room as the device turns off.

"Can i.. tell you about what happend?" wandering to gaze to his soften features, he nods, smiling briefly.

You take a deep breath before mustering up the courage to tell him about the party.

"Taehyung introduced me to this football player who tried to get me into drinking multiple times. He was shirtless and he was super provocative"

He continues listening as your voice becomes weaker.

"They decided to compete in drinking ten shots but Taehyung was already tipsy. And i- Fuck i told him not to. He didn't listen and at the like, 7th shot? He was gagging, stumbling to the bathroom"

You sigh, nervously recalling the events that felt so surreal now, your eyes finally moving to his. Catching him glint at you with nervousness himself.

"He fucking promised me not to leave me alone and- and and then he did and that asshole he-" by now tears are brimming back at your eyes, unable to let out the words in a straight line.

"He fucking touched me and when i told him to back off he called me a bitch and threw me into the pool. Everybody was laughing fuck, Jungkook people were recording it. It was so fucking- it was so"

You stop, aggressively wiping tears from your face, a scoff pained it's way to the surface,

"So humiliating. Even worse, Taehyung was making out with some chick when i managed to get out the pool" your voice is a bit more stable again, angry at the memory.

Resenment is a stronger emotion than sadness in this moment.

"Motherfucker. Both of them. Motherfuckers" Jungkooks eyes turned dark, glaring at the sound of what you went through.

You laugh a small laugh, "I know"

He inches closer to you,

"I'm gonna get them suspended. What was the friends name?" His expression is serious, determined of making them feel it.

You shake your head slowly,

"No don't- please don't go through all that effort okay? They won't make it long anyways"

He glares at you too now, before catching himself doing so, revoking it and replacing it with a neutral expression.

"Don't let them walk all over you. At least that football guy, im getting his scholarship revoked, what he did was assault. Please let me do this for you"

His voice is stern, he isn't asking.

And you knew he was right.

".. Jackson. Wang, i think"

He huffs, "He can kiss his degree goodbye. I'll find something to make em. Promise you. I might just strangle him myself if I'm being honest" he sighs, his hand rubbing his forehead in an effort to not snap and drive back to party.

A soft giggle can be heard inside the suffocating sphere of the living room.

He looks back up at you,

"What's so funny?" a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips,

You giggle again, focused on the way his lips look when trying to hold back a smile.

"You. Seeing you so worked up. I like it, makes me realize this friendship may not be that one sided after all"

He groans in response, leaning back against the couch and tilting his head to look back into your eyes,

"It took me carrying you to my car to make you understand that i care about you?"

Your heart jumping at the admission,

His eyes widen slightly as he hears himself admit to it, but he tries to conceal it.

Play it off like he isn´t surprised himself.

"Letting you live with me for damn near two weeks wasn't enough, huh?" His elbow digs into your side,

But you can't react, stuck on the fact that his teeth are lightly digging into the side of his lip, biting it softly.

Eyes wandering to his torso that is leaning back on his couch, his lap looking so inviting.

Only now noticing how close he is next to you.

It's his turn to chuckle now,

"Would pay to know what's in that pretty head of yours right now"

Another breath caught in your throat, eyes shooting back up to meet his,

They are ranking over you entirely,

Watching your every feature, studying you as if you were a piece of art in a gallery.

His flirty tone making it hard not to just risk it, crawl into his lap and tell him how you feel about his stupidly handsome face and his annoying way to care for you.

"Shut up, you're saying nonsense" your eyes roll to distract from the fact that you were caught red handed, shyly turning your face away from his form on the couch.

"Answer the question idiot. Did it seriously take this long for you to get it?" his voice is soft, sincerity laced beneath his words.

A long sigh makes it's way out of your mouth as you turn to take the same position that he's in, tilting your head to meet his eyes once more.

The moment is precious in a way, his face is so close you could count the moles on it, but just enough space not to loose any and all control.

"I'm not sure. I mean, i guess i knew you kinda cared, but, i think i mostly tried to gaslight myself into thinking you like me as a person and don't just see me as some sort of charity case" you laugh gently, keeping eye contact with him as you talk.

Although the words you're speaking are truthful, they aren't the full extent.

His heart clenches a bit when he thinks about it,

"Charity case? Fuck no, i mean" he pause, playing with his lip piercing,

"I guess it took me some time to get used to caring about someone else like this, living together and shit but i do like you. I find you annoying and obnoxious at times, and you still suck at photography, but i do like you, you're a good friend" his hand moves through his pretty, dark hair, trying his very best not to look down at your lips.

Knowing he wouldn't be able to hold back.

It was now, just now that he became aware too,

Aware that you weren't just a friend, roomate or a student to him,

That his feelings, his thoughts and urges weren't some sort of strange hormonal reaction.

Still, he hoped that saying it out loud would convince him that you are, indeed just a good friend.

He can´t help but notice how bothered he is by it.

You nod, almost disappointed at the way he ruined his lovely speech with three simple words.

a good friend.

"How nice of you.. thank you tho. No really, i, i appreciate you. You're.. a good friend too, Jungkook" you bite your lip softly, wishing for him to just move away or say something mean to lessen the tension.

He allows himself to look once,

Locking his eyes with your lips, noticing the small blush forming around your face.

It makes you look irresistible, naturally beautiful.

"You know I'm a liar, right? That i say a ton of things I don't actuallly mean?" his eyes are focused on your lips now, his voice almost breathless as he feels himself getting lost at the thought of you.

You scoff, chuckling softly right after,

"Absolutely, it's ridiculous, actually. But you know, i learned not to take every you say too seriously" your arm makes it's way to hit his chest playfully.

He laughs briefly, holding your wrist against his chest.

Eyes locked on your lips, just as he had feared they would.

You could practically feel your heart breaking out of your body,

Moving your palm to lay flat against his chest, you allow yourself to touch an inch of what you've been wanting to feel for so long.

"Well i just lied to you again. You're.. fuck. You're not just a friend"

The air in your lungs leaves you hanging completely, a breathless, thoughtless and emotion driven voice answering him

"I swear if you're playing with me right now I'm gonna-"

There was no time to finish your sentence,

In the blink of an eye, his hands are on your face, cupping it,

His soft, dreamy lips on your own.

There wasn't any time to process either as he pulls back briefly, just enough to whisper against your lips,

"You talk too much, and I'm not good with words"

As soon as the last letter leaves his lips, they are back on yours.

The way Jungkook kisses is as you had imagined, possessive and dominant, he needed to guide you.

Needed you to understand that he likes you,

Way more than just a friend.

Finally registering that he's actually kissing you, that this isn't one of your fanatsies, you kiss him back.

Your own lips moving softly against his, earning a small groan from him.

Melting into his kiss even further, the urge to hear his pretty sounds again overtaking you completely.

The strong hands that held your face in place move now, pulling you closer by your hips.

It makes you hum into the kiss,

Allowing him just enough space to lace his tongue in with yours,

Gently but firmly he keeps kissing you.

As infatuated with him as you are, you follow his every lead, moving in sync and savoring every single second.

Lips developing a mind of their own, Jungkook being the only thought.

By now, he is resting his large hands on your hips, shifting to pull you closer once again, sitting you on his lap,

One knee on either side of his hips, both your hands pressed firmly against his chest.

The way he pulled you to straddle him made you gasp lowly.

He smiles into the kiss, clearly affected by the way this conversation had gone,

By the way you react to his touches.

Naturally, your arms wrap around his neck, allowing your hips to rest on his, he hums in approval, gripping your hips and tightly and securing them in place for him.

Before you can wonder what all of this meant or where it was leading, he pulled back again, this time enough to get a full view of your flustered face.

At first, he doesn't say anything, making space for insecurity to creep up into your brain,

Apparently he can look into those too.

"To be clear. This means something to me. I'm not kissing you just because you looked fucking irresistible, but because i like you, i like you way more than I should. And if you don't, then you better tell me now"

Once again, his pretty face doesn't match his stern words, he's nervous.

You could tell by the way he licks his piercing, nibbling on the small metal ring.

If it was even more possible, your heart swelled with affection for him, desperate to tell him what you had felt for so long.

"I like you too. I like you way too much. Wasn't it obvious? I wanted this for so long"

Without wanting to waste any more time on things you could discuss later on, your head leans back down to kiss him.

He groans much softer this time, his hands ranking up to your sides, feeling them up slowly.

He needs to touch you, feel you, kiss you everywhere.

Just like he had imagined for long now, chopping it up to feeling touch starved.

But the words urge out of his mouth,

"I guess that means you're mine now" he mumbles against your lips in a sultry voice, the heat of the moment becoming far too much.

This wasn't just out of hormonal instincts, both of you could feel it.

A smile latches on to your lips, forcing you to stop kissing him for just a second

"Possessive, i see.. but i want to know much more about you first kook" your reply is sheepish, well aware that him calling you his was enough to turn your underwear see through.

He hums again, placing a hand on your cheek, stroking his thumb against it as his eyes move to your lips.

"I'll tell you everything you want later, let me keep kissing you first" his thumb drags down to your bottom lip, stroking it gently as his pretty brown eyes fixate back on your own ones, looking for resistance.

"Kiss me then" was all it took for him to close the gap once again.

Your arms unwrap around him, moving in anticipation when they reach the hem of his shirt.

You tug on it gently, asking for him to remove it.

He groans once more, "so eager" slips past his lips when he makes enough room to take the shirt off,

Revealing what must be the most beautifully, carefully carved person you have ever laid your eyes on.

His tattoos reach up to his shoulder, you've seen it before but it's even better when you get to touch them, carefully trace the lines with your finger tip.

His chest is firm, a broad set of shoulders that make his small and very well-defined abdomen look even more sinched.

The sight is truly breath taking, your hands caressing, touching everywhere they can.

He likes to think that it doesn't phase him, but the way his body shivers makes it undeniable.

"Done staring, doll?" he asks, the nickname sending a wave of pleasure straight through you as he tilts your face back up to look at his.

"Mhm.. you're just really hot" you can't help but giggle, finally being able to touch and kiss him, it makes you giddy.

Finally being able to utter out all your dirty thoughts, even if it embarrasses you.

He rolls his eyes, sneaking his hands teasingly under your hoodie, caressing the soft and bare skin of your stomach.

A low moan follows his movement, you attempt to kiss him but he smirkes, leaning his head back softly.

This time you whine, having already guessed that he's as much of a tease as he normally is too.

"You sound so desperate. Want me too take this off hm?"

You only muster up a small nod, in no time the hoodie is thrown somewhere, forgotten easily by the way his eyes sparkle when landing on your chest.

Roaming over your chest down to your hips, taking in every inch as his hands reach to grab them.

In one swift motion, you're tucked beneath him on the couch, his shirtless figure hovering over yours, veiny hands resting on your stomach, softly touching his way upwards.

"Just tell me to stop if you don't want anything" he's considered, gentle in the same way that he's demanding.

"Will do, but right now i really need you to continue"

He smiles, leaning down to kiss you again before moving to kiss down to your neck, softly burrying himself in it.

Hearing you moan and gasp was enough to make him lose his mind, make him want to give you absolutely everything you could ever ask for.

"Feels.. nice.." your hands play with his hair, holding the back of his head firmly against your neck.

He bites your neck in response, one of his hands moving to cup your chest in it, squeezing and groping firmly.

He keeps kissing, licking and gently sucking at your skin, trying to learn about every spot that made you moan a little louder.

Once he's satisfied with your neck, a short kiss is placed on your lips.

His head trails down to your chest, kissing from collarbone further south.

"You look even prettier than i imagined" he mutters against your skin, lips in the space between your breasts, kissing and sucking carefully.

"I-Imagined?" you manage to say between soft moans, to shy to let out what you really felt.

Your teeth biting down on your lip so hard it could have made an imprint.

He chuckles against your skin,

"Mhm.. many times doll, driving me insane with these pretty sounds, keep making noises" his voice is deep, underlined with desire.

"f-feels so good.." your whines filling is request instantly, feeling his lips wrapped around your breast as the other one is being gently cupped and squeezed, making you feel blissfully satisfied.

He switches sides after a couple more seconds, your eyes focused on his hand that looks so large compared to you.

However the sight of his bare and definitely well toned, broad back peeking out made you feral, needing to touch him too.

So you do, moving to wrap your arms under his, touching his back carefully as sinfully sweet noises come out of both your lips.

His lips move from your chest to your own, both of his hands groping your chest, moving and brushing over your spots carefully, hitting ever sensitivity.

He lets go of your chest just as he lets go of your lips, his hands making their way down to your waist, wrapping around and securing you in place.

Jungkook´s beautiful dark eyes can't seem to leave your body, licking his lips before planting gentle open mouth kisses down your stomach, nibbling at the skin every so slightly.

"Can i take this off?" his tattooed fingers playing with the hem of your pants, teasing and tugging beneath it with a sly smile on his face.

"Yes please" almost pathetically quiet you answer him, desperate for him to touch you, to make you see stars.

He nods, pulling down your pants to reveal white lacy panties beautifully placed over your core.

Jungkook doesn't like to waste time, so he moves his hands up and down your thighs while kissing your hip,

"So soft" purring against your skin, his lips move to kiss your thighs, hooking one arm gently under one leg, spreading them open. His kisses become more passionate which each one, kissing and nibbling the inside of your thighs,

Dangerously close to where you wanted him to be right now.

Your hand wraps around his soft curls once more, gently tugging, making him groan.

"Doing so well doll, i know you're desperate, so needy. Gonna give it to you yeah? Ask nicely" the way he sounds right now, raspy and gentle, the way he uses the nickname that rolls beautifully off of his tongue, it is enough to make you whimper.

Close to being speechless, you stammer out softly, needing him more than anything.

"Please kook.. touch me.. please eat me out, fuck this is so embarrassing" your hand untangles from his hair, both of them meeting to cover your face.

A small laugh can be heard before he moves his own hands up, prying yours from your face by your wrist.

He scans your face, your slightly parted lips inviting him to a kiss once more.

"Don't hide pretty, sound so good when you're this pathetic and desprate. Gonna give you just what you asked for"

He hooks his arm back under your thigh, the other one holding you by the knee. Letting his eyes wander down to your core for just a moment, he takes in the sight of your soaked underwear, basically transparent.

It made him twitch in his pants,

Knowing that he has just about the same effect on you as you do on him.

He presses a kiss your still covered clit, tongue poking out to lick over it, pressing the fabric to your skin.

It doesn't take long for him to move his tongue down to your entrance, licking slow stripes across and using the tip of his tongue to push the fabric into your slit a little bit.

It fills you with excitement and frustration,

"Please stop teasing me.. please" your whines are much louder now, annoyed that you're so close to finally feeling the relief you need.

Finally knowing how it feels to have him touch you.

He groans softly, quickly pulling the panties down to your ankles before latching on to suck on your clit.

The feeling is euphoric, nothing compares to seeing Jungkook's pretty face burried between your thighs, his lips wrapped around your clit as his tongue gently darts across it.

He moves his tongue down, caressing your thighs with his hands, tasting every drop of arousal spilling out from you.

His body is filled with the need to feel your every reaction, touch where ever he can reach.

The tip of his tongue pushing into your hole ever so slightly, before moving to lick back up to your clit.

Ever since he started you haven't stopped moaning, softly rambling about how good he feels.

"Look so pretty.. fuck it feels so- so good.." your voice trails off into a whimper, the knot in your stomach tightening with each lick, his soft groans only intensifying the pleasure.

Helplessly your hips buck into his face,

he takes it gladly, humming in approval.

"You'll take a finger won't you doll?" he says as his pointer finger is already circling your entrance, ghosting over it.

As a response, your hips buck up again slightly, moving both hands to grab his shoulders, nodding furiously at his question.

"Words. Will you take it?´´ he repeats, his tongue returning back to licking your folds once he finished speaking.

"Yes, yes, yes will take it"

"Good, very good" he pushes his single digit in without any further warning, sinking in until his knuckle stops him, immediately pumping in an out.

"So fucking small doll, only my finger and you´re suffocating it, so greedy" the vibration of his low purring only supporting your approaching orgasm.

For a moment Jungkook allows himself to look at you, face fucked out completely, eyes weakly staring down at him,

Your mouth opened softly as gasps and whines leave your mouth.

It keeps him going to see you enjoy it, his finger speeding up as his licks become more firm.

The pleasure built up fast from that point, feeling like you would snap and come on his tongue and finger at any moment, clenching around it.

He moans softly on your skin when he feels it,

"Close? Are you gonna coat my finger with your cum pretty?"

"Jungkook- fuck yes, close. God, the way you talk is driving me insane" your legs pick up shaking again, fingers digging into his shoulders when your whole body shudders against him.

His voice, his hands, lips, face burried between your thighs, it all creats a beautiful picture, unforgettable.

"Come on doll, give it to me, let me taste it" his lips move to wrap around your clit,

Which is all that you needed to come undone under his touch, shaking and whimpering loudly.

He slowly retracts his mouth, stroking your thighs and gently moving his fingers to let you ride out the high, before removing it completely as you still pant from the pleasure.

Naked and slightly bruised chest moving heavily, clit swollen and throbbing.

He places a small kiss against your hip,

"Did so well, sounded so fucking pretty, taste so sweet"

You look at him wide eyed as he licks his finger clean, clearly enjoying every drop of your release he could get.

His hand reach down to your ankles, pulling your panties back up and kissing your newly covered clit one last time.

"Come here, calm down yeah? You on earth doll?" he chuckles in a cocky and low tone, pulling himself up next to you and placing a kiss on to your forehead.

The absolute aftershock and realization hitting you, immediately blushing the darkest shade of red and hiding against his chest.

"Oh.. my..god. what the fuck just.." mumbling against his chest he strokes your back and hair softly. A small effort to reassure you.

"No don't. Don't say it. I know what happened but.. i mean.. what.." you continue, not knowing how to act know, not knowing what to say.

Asking yourself if that meant you were his now, like he had said before.

"Well, you tell me. I said you're mine, you're the one wanting to know things" he puts one hand under your chin, lifting your face to his and pressing a kiss to your lips.

Although his eyes look neutral, his kiss is filled with care.

You smile against his lips,

"Fuck whatever i said, i can learn while being yours, if the offer still stands"

He scoffs, flicking your forehead once he pulls away from the kiss

"You're an idiot. Of course it does"

It was hard not to giggle when he's being so stupid after giving you the best orgasm of your life.

It's your turn to kiss him now, placing a small peck to his cheek and another one to his jaw.

His lips curve into a softy smile, "Come on, let's go to bed hm?"

Your head tilts at his suggestion, knowing full well that he's fully errect,

You can feel him pressed against you after all.

"But.. what about you?" he strokes your hair before holding your cheek in his palm, a cheeky grin on his lips.

"Don't worry, i don't really care for that right now, besides I don't want to tire out miss virgin Mary hm?" his hand moves down to your chin, squeezing your cheeks between his thumb and remaining fingers.

Instead of reacting, your entire body freezes, looking at him with an expressionless face.

"What? Think i couldn't tell? Come on, you were a mess from kissing, so tight around only a single finger doll. Not that hard to miss" he chuckles, kissing your forehead another time, all the while you wish you could disintegrate into the ground.

Sure, it might have been easy to tell, but did have to keep teasing?

"Oh my god you're unbelievable. Do you.. uh, mind that i didn't say anything?"

His hand moves to grab your hoodie that was surprisingly not far gone, tapping your arms to signal you to lift them up,

"No, i don´t. I get it, i mean, I'm not that experienced either and at my age that is kind of embarrassing to admit as well" he speaks carefully while slipping the hoodie back over you, moving some strands of hair out of your face.

You nod, smiling at his delicate gesture.

"I see, you're sure that you're okay?"

He rolls his eyes,

"Yes, I'm sure. Come on, let's go to bed, I´m tired, i know you´re too" he shifts, picking up his tossed shirt and your pants only to throw them on the couch when he stands up.

You´re still sitting, eyes moving down to the very visible bulge in his pants, straining them in a sexy and arousing way.

He snorts, waving a hand in front of your face before he grabs yours, pulling you up and leading you to his bedroom.

"Kook?" you ask him, a million questions running through your mind at once.

Everything that happened after the intimacy is so normal, almost thoughtlessly routine.

His presence being so comforting and complete to you, you did not even need to ask why you should sleep next to him, or if it was okay to do so.

"Yes?" he answers, pulling the covers on his bed back and stepping closer to hold you by your waist and staring you down,

A look of admiration on his face, his eyes practically screaming the words I love you

"So.. we.. uhm.. this is official now?" was somehow the only condensed version of all the thoughts you could gather together.

He smiles, lifting you briefly to lay you on his bed, climbing in to lay beside you, his hand immediately finding your face again.

"What does it look like? How many times do you need me to confess? Damn, im starting to think doll, that this gets you off" he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to his warm body.

Your feelings for him intensifying in that very second,

"No, but i do get off on that nickname. And the way you're so touchy. Kinda cute" you scrunch your nose up, putting your arms on his body as well.

"Shut up. Sleep well yeah?" he says, tucking your head under his to stop you from seeing the shyness spread across his cheeks, accompanied by the smile visible in his voice.

"Sleep well, kook. but.."

"Oh my god what is it?" he groans, squeezing your body to show off his annoyance.

You giggle softly,

"Thank you. For saving my ass today and uh.. for, you know" the last words leave your mouth in a stuttered manner, too shy to speak out what you are referring to.

He scoffs playfully, "21 and can't say the word orgasm. Whatever, get used to it doll, gonna take care of you from now on"

Knowing it didn't matter how annoyed he was, nothing could take away the fact that you're falling asleep in his arms this very second.

It made both of your hearts melt.

[star-anise]

The thing about "parents' rights" and "protect the children [from hearing that other ways of life than ours are possible and okay]" is that it is literally, in the purest sense of the word, patriarchy.

The word literally means "rule by the fathers". We're generally used to hearing it describe how adult women can be dominated by adult men. However, that's not where patriarchy ends; feminists have been less eager to address how within that system, women can exercise power and domination of their own through the traditional gender roles of motherhood. Their maternal rights to power and dominance may have traditionally been lesser than paternal ones, but they were never less than their minor children's. Even single-mother or female-only families can be, in this sense, patriarchal.

Patriarchal families are a complex system that grants parents complete legal and practical control over nearly every aspect of their children's lives. The patriarchal family controls where the child lives, who takes care of them, what rules they have to follow, how they are educated, who they associate with, what healthcare they receive, what religion they practice, and whether they can work or control any money they earn or that is given to or for them.

Normally discussions of patriarchy are a lot more abstract. But right now it's very concrete and real: we are fighting to limit the family's control over children on issues where we can observe that families sometimes tend to make decisions that are bad for the children's welfare or that disrespect their human rights.

Whether a minor child can get an abortion. Whether they can receive gender-affirming care. Whether it's okay to lie or coerce your child to ensure they follow your religion. Whether they deserve to be educated about factual histories or scientific theories that are necessary to understanding the world around them. Whether they deserve to learn accurate, age-appropriate information about consent, setting boundaries, how their bodies and the bodies of other people work, what a normal range of gender and sexual identities look like, what healthy or unhealthy relationships look like, and what sex is, how it works, what its positives and negatives are, and how they might navigate the world, whether or not they ever want to have it.

Hell, on some levels we're still arguing about whether it's okay to hit your kids, or whether children have the right, similar to the rights adults have, not to be assaulted or abused.

Because there are a LOT of people who say: No. Parents should have 100% control over any or all of those issues. If the parent says no, the child is not allowed to do or have any of those things, and nobody else should be allowed to interfere and provide them to the child without their parents' consent.

Pointing this out often results in parents saying, "Oh, so you want just ANYONE to be able to go up and talk sex with kids? You want kids to be able to decide to jump off cliffs with nobody stopping them???" As though parents are the single protective force in the universe, the only thing standing between their child and the ravages of absolute chaos.

On the contrary: most of the time the argument is for children to receive care and guidance from adults who are monitored to ensure they treat children in safe and appropriate ways, who have spent many years studying the best and most rigorously tested of our collective understanding of how to prepare children for happy, healthy lives.

And we are arguing against people who believe that the only important qualification needed to refuse children that kind of care is to be ranked above them in their family hierarchy.

In conclusion...

Fuck the patriarchy. Children have human rights too.

[byproducts-of-my-imagination]

Yandere Blue Lock (Bachira, Barou, Rin)

Mannn... Blue Lock is just so rife with yandere potential I cannot!!! It warms my ugly heart, watching them all slowly devolve into madness for the sole pursuit of one goal. Which is just how like I like my yanderes tbh, obsessively consumed by one thing and one thing only. There's rarely a sports anime where I am attracted to almost all the characters, but Blue lock hits some good spots I wasn't aware I had. These are just some thoughts for now, I will probably dedicate several posts to Reo alone in the near future. More coming soon as well

Bachira Meguru

Bachira has been unhinged since the very beginning. A monster in his head borne of loneliness voices his innermost desires and impulses. The monster whispers to him, telling him that you'd understand him, that you'd understand both of them. And really, how could he not want to have you?

He's a nasty boy and has no shame. Curious about everything and anything with no care for social boundaries. He'll invade your privacy, ask inappropriate questions and follow you into the bathroom to watch you pee just because he wants to know 'how it works for women'. There's a somewhat childlike wonder to him which makes it all the more unsettling as he makes eye contact with you while sniffing your panties, or jacking off to a very normal photo of you he snapped while you weren't looking.

He loves your eyes. Sometimes he can get hard just from making eye contact with you, and he loves any position where the two of you can look into each others eyes. He wants to lay you bare, to strip you of everything and see what's underneath, the deepest and darkest parts of you.

For him you're a never ending exploration that he'll never get tired of. He'll poke and prod you to get different reactions, and delights in every one of them.

"You're so beautiful." He lets out the most filthy, pornographic groan as his hands come down to squeeze your ass, pulling you apart to see inside you. You burn with shame, unable to escape his whims.

Barou Shoei

The king. Barou is a meticulous despot in every aspect of his life. It takes a while for him to develop positive feelings towards someone, much less love. But once he has his sights set on you, his feelings only grow stronger. There is no limit to the depth of his feelings for you. They overtake him, push him out of his comfort zone and force him to grow. His love swells and consumes to be all encompassing.

Once he makes up his mind there will be nothing to stop him. Now that he knows love, he will justify any means for his ends. Barou wholeheartedly believes in himself and his convictions, and if he wants you, you'll be his queen even if he has to force you to.

He'd keep you on a strict schedule and hold you to the highest standards. But honestly if you follow his rules well Barou is one the the most reasonable yanderes to be with. He allows you freedom and trust, as long as you uphold your role to his expectations. He's also not terribly clingy, and will leave you to your own devices while he is at practice.

About soccer, he is torn between wanting you in the stands and keeping you away from the other blue lock bastards. On one hand he loves to show off, as goals are just so much sweeter with you there to appreciate him and all his hard work. However, the other strikers cannot be trusted near you. Under no circumstances will he allow them to taint you, to allow them to bask in your presence.

Itoshi Rin

Rin has a terrible brother complex which extends into each part of his life, even his romantic relationships. His whole life has been spent practicing devotion.

You knew Sae first, met at school, were the barest of friends and moreso acquaintances. By chance you were partnered with him for a project, which the two of you completed as fast as possible in the Itoshi's living room. It was there that Rin saw you for the first time, dazzling and the center of Sae's attention. A deep jealously overtook him, a heavy longing to be in your place as Sae's equal. He wanted to have you, to be you. To crawl inside you skin and stay there forever and never feel inferior again.

Rin coveted Sae, and everything he had but never had he wanted something so much before in his life. So much of him is defined by his brother, and while it's agony for him, it's also his main drive in life. You'd be his biggest victory if he could only have you.

In the bedroom he likes to claim you, Rin lives to see your skin littered with bites and hickeys. Every inch of you will be constantly marked but it'll never be enough to soothe him. He never does anything halfway anyways. Touch starved and needy, he loves to destroy you, to control you and be inside of you. He's very possessive and it shows on your skin.

[pink-amethyst-tarot]

♡ Message From Your Soulmate ♡ 

Take what resonates and leave the rest and know that you're the one in control of your life at the end of the day. . . .

P I L E 1 - Through the Fire

Five of Pentacles, Wheel of Fortune (Reversed), Page of Cups, The High Priestess, Justice

Okay. First off, your person wants to say that you are their gift and that you are their surprise. They are so lucky to have you! (omg, I'm gonna cry!!!) Your person is saying that they know that you feel like they have abandoned you and you may have doubts about if this person even exists. They do exist. Your person is real, and they are working so hard to get to you. There have been delays in your union because you are trying to be too in control of the situation. Your person wants you to focus on your own growth and being the best version of yourself for yourself. They are going to come in so unexpectedly and it's going to feel so magical. This is not an ex. I'm serious. Let it go. I'm also getting the communication will be so good and so full of passion and romance! Your person wants you to listen to your inner voice and find the strength to be who you really are. You can look forward to learning a lot from each other. There is a balance in this relationship that you may not be used to. This person sees you as their equal. For some of you, there is a specific person who comes to mind when you read about soulmates, divine counter parts and the person that you want to spend this lifetime and every lifetime with. I want you to know that you aren't crazy. It's them. Just give them some time. Everything is going to work out and you will be together.

Extra channeled message: I love you, I love you, I love you, my sweet star. Hold on to me as tightly as I am holding on to you. Just remembering that you are out there for me, keeps me going; keeps me coming toward you.

Channeled Song: Through The Fire - Chaka Khan

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall// For a chance to be with you// I'd gladly risk it all// Through the fire Through whatever, come what may// For a chance at loving you I'd take it all the way// Right down to the wire// Even through the fire//

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at pinkamethysttarot@gmail.com

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

P I L E 2 - my love is mine, all mine

King of Pentacles, Temperance, The Chariot, Ten of Cups, Nine of Pentacles (Reversed), Strength

Baby, you are so safe with me. Your person is so sweet and kind! I'm getting that they are a protector and very cuddly. I am going to be so gentle and so caring with you. You will never have to worry about anything when you are with me. Even if I am not with you, consider it taken care of. I am getting that this person has always been yours. In every lifetime, they have found you and made you so damn happy. This lifetime will be no different! Every universe, every life; I will love you, deeply. I cannot wait to grow old together. This person is a very dominate type, especially when it comes to you. One who likes to take the lead... in more ways than one. (my lord...) Your soulmate sees you as their happiest ending and they want you to know that they will never truly be happy if they don't have you. Unlike the previous pile, I am getting the energy of this being someone that you may know already, maybe even someone who is currently an ex. They have changed in some way, or the stars have aligned for you two to be together again. I'm getting that this person is really successful. Like... really freakin' successful. On the outside looking in, this person seems to have it all, but they don't feel complete because they don't have you but once they do, they are never going to let you go. You are theirs. (Okay, maybe this person is a little bit possessive but not in a toxic way. Definitely set boundaries about that kind of thing.) This love is so strong, so powerful. Wow.

Extra Channeled Message: You have consumed me; mind, body and soul, you have consumed me. You make ruins of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I gladly give you my heart to do as you please. If all I can have of you is your destruction of my heart, I will take it. You have me.

Channeled Song - My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski

My baby, here on earth// Showed me what my heart was worth// So, when it comes to be my turn// Could you shine it down here for her?

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at pinkamethysttarot@gmail.com

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

P I L E 3 - My babe would have me

Eight of Swords, Nine of Cups, The Chariot, Seven of Wands, Knight of Pentacles

I have been through a lot when it comes to love. My heart has been broken over and over again but with you, it's different. You are a dream come true, my love. There is an energy present that is telling me that your person is going through a lot right now. It feels like a Dark Night of the Soul. They are definitely going to come out on top though. They are a fighter, and they have the upper hand in whatever they are dealing with. Part of the reason that they are doing this work is because they want to be the best for you. They want to be good enough for you. (Even though they already are!) This person is worried that they aren't good enough and that you will leave them or won't choose them! They are so sure about you though. They know that you are what they want in this world. They are working hard on a lot of parts of themselves because you are so worth it. I feel like, just like the previous pile, you may already know or be in union with this person or this may be about an ex. Like, I need you know that this person is working so hard. They are going to show, not tell you how much they have changed. Like this is a whole new person.

Extra Channeled Message: I want you to know that yes, I am working on me so that I can be better for you but it's also for me, too. It has been so hard to go through this healing, but it has been worth it, and I am glad I decided to change. I am glad that I decided to heal, and I like the person that I am now and who I am becoming. I am going to make sure we have a really good life together, my love. I refuse to make your day harder or to make you cry. You are far too precious for that. I love you to the moon and back.

Channeled Song: Work Song - Hozier

My babe would never fret none// About what my hands and my body done// If the Lord don't forgive me// I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me//

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at pinkamethysttarot@gmail.com

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. THESE READINGS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. no guarantees are implied. These readings are not a substitute or replacement for any professional help or services. My readings are not a substitute for any form of professional legal, medical/psychiatric, relationship, religious/spiritual or financial/ business advice nor consultations. You should always see a professional legal/trained adviser for help in any matter. I am not responsible for any decisions/ actions you take.

page dividers created by @bunnysrph and @eloquentreverie

[tiamathh]

What Sin do you Need?

Note: Hi!! Repost of an Old PAC hope you enjoy, like/reblog and comment if you do~ take what resonates leave what doesn't and please don't steal my work! Also follow my 18+ readings acc @xoxotiamathh (no minors pls!)

Masterlist <3

Pile 1: Greed

Strive for more, thirst for more, it may seem like greed is bad but a little bit never hurt anyone. You're limiting yourself a lot of the times because you refuse to let yourself want more. What's holding you back? Is it your past? Moving on from the past is important and will help you achieve the great heights you're meant to.

Be greedy for a better life, stand up for yourself and the life you want because if you don't start now than when will you? Greed isn't all about money and material objects, sometimes it's about oneself and what they want, what their ideal life is both socially and emotionally.

Pile 2: Gluttony

This might be a sensitive topic for some and I completely understand that so feel free to pick another pile and take care <3 TW// weight mention, ED, body shaming, starving, anorexia

Pile 2 I'll start off with this, I'm so so sorry if you've been through instances in your life where people have been rather unkind to you regarding your weight and looks, but please know they're all wrong. You don't need to starve yourself; you're doing so well just as you are. Instagram diets and diet suppressants are not what you or your body needs. You need proper nutrition, and healthy meals give you just that. I'm not telling you to be over indulgent of course not but keeping yourself from nutrition is doing more harm than good. For some of you, you've had run-ins with eating disorders, do what's good for your body, mind and soul, delicious food from different cultures will bring a lot of flavour, expand your palette. (Also, for some of you, stop being such picky eaters! Try new things!)

Take care pile 2 and stay safe <3

Pile 3: Sloth

GET REST PLEASE (sorry for screaming). Constantly working and burning the midnight oil and sleep, rest, take a pause. Inactivity isn't always laziness or negative sometimes you need to give yourself space to breathe and sit with your thoughts and feelings.

You're human after all, you need rest and relaxation to recharge. Or maybe you're running from something and distracting yourself by constantly working. You don't need to always work to prove your worth. Don't overwork yourself.

Pile 4: Wrath

Anger can be therapeutic, feel it. Anger can help you set boundaries, and establish your self-worth. A lot of people have probably hurt you before and taken advantage of your kindness, or calm demeanour but don't let them do that. Fearing conflict will not resolve anything, getting angry isn't bad especially when you have been wronged several times by the same people. We've always seen anger be a force for change, so use it in a way where you can change things about your life that you don't like and don't approve of.

Don't let people walk all over you, don't take the route of toxic positivity, your negative feelings are there to help you grow and are just as important for your overall development.

Pile 5: Envy

Have you guys heard of benign envy? I have, an exhausting amount to be honest and what I've learnt is it genuinely helps push you forward in life. It can often be bitter but it can lead you to work harder or be more determined towards achieving your goals. It can positively influence our attitudes towards life and help bring in good changes to your routine that will help you grow. And although it's said envy is rooted in low self- esteem, all that's needed is an abundance mindset to make it work in your favour. If you feel that pang of envy now and then that's not bad, use it as a driving force for to grow more in your own individualistic way because you may have been afraid to in the past. If you envy someone's style (this is coming through strongly) or their way of life, try to manifest and work hard towards making that your reality rather than wallowing in envy and self-pity.

Pile 6: Lust

Here I feel that lust is being talked about in terms of the self, not solely in a sexual manner but also in terms of desire. Pile 6, you need to understand that you are desirable and hot and stunning. If you feel sexual fantasies there's nothing wrong with that, it is a part of your human experience embrace it. There's nothing wrong or dirty about it, it helps you explore yourself more imo. You are sexy don't overindulge and sexualise yourself for others, external validation will not bring you the satisfaction you want, it needs to come from within.

Pile 7: Pride

Guys, pile 7, my loves, pride is not bad. Especially when it comes to the work you do, I feel like this is my artistic pile. Authentic pride is important to the integrity of your work, getting happy, feeling proud, getting satisfaction from an art piece or a written piece after putting in hours, days, weeks of effort should not make you feel guilty. Don't let people tell you that your head is too big or anything like that, it's not. Your pride will help you maintain your standards in everyday life, don't lower your standards for anything or anyone, you're too good for that. I would go as far as to say pride is one of the most important feelings/emotions but be careful to not let it turn into an inflated ego.

All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!

P.S. this is one of my favourite PACs I've ever done 🩷