#and I've always just thought I was crazy

[rejoiceandcomplain]

Hhhh been doing way too much thinking lately good lord

[bunnihearted]

i feel like many ppl dont understand just how unwanted i am and how deeply it affects me... my presence isnt wanted anywhere, and wherever i go i feel like im not allowed to exist. im never anyone's first choice. never the first favorite friend. never this never that. like im never the first choice for anyone, just now i almost got hit by a car bc the driver chose to not hit another person close by. they would've rather hit me than that person. and that's just how it goes for me wherever i go. im lucky when and if im even tolerated. but im not wanted or the first choice or the favorite. that just makes me feel so profoundly alone, like i dont belong anywhere or is even allowed to breathe the same air as everyone else.

[vaguely-concerned]

I love Malcolm Hawke's first dialogue in Legacy (the one you get if you unbind the shade kept trapped by two seals in a little cell). clearly this whole business was the darkest shittiest time of his life and he's selling his soul and betraying every single one of his principles and everything, but he sounds so endearingly... snippy and exasperated about the wardens using demons willy nilly. the "listen I know I'm up to some shady stuff here and everything but let it not be said I was untidy. I'm fixing your shit as far as I'm able here. you will not be able to pin this one on me. these demons were here before I arrived, this is on the record now" energy. the way he's taking time out of his day to be responsible and enforce mage OSHA regulations in the middle of maybe the most hilariously irresponsible thing anyone's ever done after the magisters tried to break into the golden city. exquisite. the real Hawke family curse is having to specify that actually not all of the catastrophe was your fault okay this is at least like... 30% not on me this time. I. I tried. everything was on fire and I had a children's toy bucket and a bottle of rum on hand

[emile-hides]

I was looking directly at a reference while drawing these and I still somehow convinced myself he had long hair. Whatever, he's pretty.

A-Z Isekai'd Cress deign by @acfan120 really got me in some kinda way and I couldn't help wanting to draw him. I also have thoughts on story for him but I'm not gonna be annoying with that rn. Maybe someday.

Bonus my warmup doodle:

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

[scare-ard--sleigh]

here's the thing, here's the real thing, like obviously i do not condone what croccyboy did in alabasta. but i do think it is worth saying, that loneliness -- and i'm not talking about incel 'no one wants to fuck me' loneliness, i'm talking about like real, bone-deep, not sharing a meal with someone in years loneliness -- can fuck the human psyche up in incredible ways as yet unstudied by humans. i think he's a solipsist by necessity, because rain dinners was his entire world (what even existed beyond that world in his mind?) i think it can make you so crazy and it's insidious. you don't even realize how crazy it's made you until you talk to someone who's more adjusted; all he's doing is seeing the world's problems and wanting to solve them on his own : | and i have a really hard time being mad at him for that??? it's like henry winter, like.....no, these things were not good, they were not right, but knowing he got 3 hours of sleep a night???? shit made a LOT more sense .

[meownotgood]

Can I ask what your ✨Aki journey✨ was like? I’m a Aki girlie but you clearly love Aki more than any blog I’ve ever seen (purrr) When did you start becoming interested in him? Was it an aHA moment or did it develop over time? I’m really curious!!! What inspired you to start this blog? I live, laugh, love backstories 🫶🏾❤️‍🔥

YES I would be so happy to answer this!!!!!!!

so before I read chainsaw man, I knew next to nothing about it, I wasn't really a manga reader in general to be honest but I started getting into it because I wanted to get caught up with jujutsu kaisen after finishing the anime. when I did, I really enjoyed jjk, I wanted to read more manga and a friend suggested I read chainsaw man because it's similar. I was like okay... a lot of people are into it... it looks cool... why not.

and when I started reading and I got to that third chapter and I saw aki... I literally said to myself: yeah, he is going to be my favorite. because he's exactly my type — the suit, the hair tied up so it's long and pretty when he takes it down, the SMOKING??? THE PIERCINGS????? I thought his hair was silly but adorable, his personality was stern but quirky and likable, his kon power was so cool. he was just so cute and hot and definitely my type of character.

but really, even though aki was always my favorite character from the start, my obsession truly began when I finished the manga. aki's arc is just so good... I fell in love with him the whole way through but especially after the manga was over... I loved watching him grow as a character, he just feels so real and relatable personality wise and story wise. he's immensely flawed but kindhearted to his core. he's so human. I love how he's emotional and soft and the conclusion to his arc is genuinely my favorite thing in any piece of media ever, it's so bittersweet and compelling. (and I'm a mess for that bittersweet shit okay)

anyway after I read chainsaw man for the first time I was feeling a mix of emotions between "wow that was the greatest thing ever" and "what the fuck did I just read" but more than anything I yearned for more aki, and so I read it a second time almost immediately after, and then the aki brain infection just grew worse and worse.... was screenshotting every panel of him... I read it a third time... a fourth time in the colored version to collect more panels......... I started my blog over a year ago to post fanfic and rant about aki and the rest is history

[coquelicoq]

usually i don't have any problem not thinking about work when i'm not getting paid to do so, but i made a big mistake earlier this week and spent five hours today dealing with the fallout and still have not managed to resolve it, and when i clocked out it was actually with this vague dread about leaving it unsolved instead of relief that it's finally the weekend. like it's bad that it's the weekend because it means i have to stop working on it?? wow. gross.

[orangewoo]

240415 and 240418 Mark Update

[socialbunny]

merry christmas to everyone that celebrates or just happy holidays or just merry. day. merry monday ^^

[astrxealis]

btw to filipino moots im gna be an arenean B) or iskolar ng bayan who knows!

[ruffgem]

a lot of my teachers this year have randomly complimented me on my writing even when the class largely has nothing to do with it and tbh??!??! it's really nice and it makes me want to write more?!?!?!!?!?!

[ultramarine-spirit]

I know this is a blog focused mainly on athy (as it should) but I would like to ask you if you know what is the official flower of jennette? The other day I saw a person who uploaded an image of the Athanasia paper doll and there was the rose - which we all know is the official flower of athy - but there was also a paper doll of Jennette with a yellow flower (I think it's zinnia but i'm not sure) and that caught my attention because if on athy's page she was with her official flower, wouldn't that mean that is also jennette's official flower? I know it's not relevant to you but how do you know so many things I wanted to know if you know if spoon ever talked about a flower that she related to jennette how did she do it with the other characters or not? Sorry for bothering 😣

Oh, about the flowers on the paper doll book, the answer is way less exciting than I would like to tell you. The thing is... all pages have the same couple of layouts. Athy also has pages with the yellow flowers. So while i.e. the baby Athy dolls are obviously paired up with her little bags of jewels, or the teen Athy dolls with roses and the lotuses from the lake, the Jennette dolls also have mostly the same decorations (probably because she doesn't have that many character-unique props? If that makes sense. I recall her having the ribbon she gifted Athy though).

To my knowledge, Spoon has never talked about a flower that fits Jennette, and since she doesn't have a lot merch (such as, the character pins for Athy and co., that used flowers in their designs), it's kind of hard to give an answer based on canon material. But I think that the most obvious answer would be daisies (aka Margaritas), because of her last name (Margarita or Magrita depending on the translation). I'm almost certain she has a couple of panels with daisies too, and I do associate them with her.

I want to think that Plutus chose Margarita as her last name on purpose, since Athy is named after a flower (as well as Lily) (I know her name matters most because of the immortal meaning, but there's no way Plutus didn't find out it's also a flower while researching it. It's literally on the Wikipedia page). Here is a fun fact: Athanasias (the flower) and daisies come from the same genus or flower family!

[skunkg1rll]

i cant stop thinking abt him... have been doing that all daynd i feel so sad nd my heart hurtsso bad nd i long for him sm it's just a bad day :((

[da-proti-toku-grem]

the fair of the city where i live is approaching and it's making me feel so anxious. it always makes me anxious but after i had that panic attack at my hometown's fair a few weeks ago it's making me even more anxious and fuck i really don't want to go.............

[keira-draws]

have officially watched 2/3 original evil dead movies 👍