#i know that like if a crazy situation happened and my mom had to choose one of us.. she wouldnt choose me

[bunnihearted]

i feel like many ppl dont understand just how unwanted i am and how deeply it affects me... my presence isnt wanted anywhere, and wherever i go i feel like im not allowed to exist. im never anyone's first choice. never the first favorite friend. never this never that. like im never the first choice for anyone, just now i almost got hit by a car bc the driver chose to not hit another person close by. they would've rather hit me than that person. and that's just how it goes for me wherever i go. im lucky when and if im even tolerated. but im not wanted or the first choice or the favorite. that just makes me feel so profoundly alone, like i dont belong anywhere or is even allowed to breathe the same air as everyone else.

[2hightocare]

INFATUATED!

“In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman.” — mini series ❦︎

Synopsis: The feeling of finding a person who makes your tummy do cartwheels everyday, no matter what the situation is.

Pairings: nonidol!jungkook x fem!reader

Warnings: super cute duper fluff, jk being the epitome of every girls dream man. Argument, oc crying, Jungkook wasting money on oc, banter, cussing, flirting. Js super cute cliché shit…

a/n: they’re my babies… they’re so ‘tear in my heart’ coded but after this I might be inactive. I have a paper due in three weeks 10 pages long so…. Plus in my free time I’m working on a series that I will drop the teaser and aesthetic maybe later or tmr🤍🤍🤍 enjoy!! Kithes.

Falling in love with Jungkook was so easy that it scared you. He did everything right, and whenever there was something wrong, he would do anything in his power to make it right. You thought it was too good to be true, and he would just disappear into angel dust if you blinked too fast.

“How do you feel?” Your boyfriend moves your hair out of your face, kissing your forehead in the process. “Warm.” You talk about the fever you have. The covers that were wrapped tightly around you are shredded from you. “Hey!” You pout, shaking from how cold you feel even though the air is off and it’s not cold. “You’re not going to get better, baby.” He pouts back at you, holding the covers tightly on his chest as you try to fight back for it.

“I'm freezing,” you whine, your eyelids fluttering shut as his palm touches your face.

“You’re burning, baby,” he lets you know while sighing.

You had gotten sick yesterday, which had started with a sore throat. You had thought when you would have woken up today it would’ve been gone; spoiler: it got worse.

Jungkook makes his way to his kitchen, opening up the gray cabinet in front of him. He pulls out the tray filled with medicine his mom gave him whenever he moved out around four years ago. He pops open the pill container, taking two small white round pills out before grabbing a water bottle and making his way to you, who’s curled up on his couch.

Jungkook feels like shit whenever he can’t do anything to make you feel better. It didn’t matter what it was; he would do anything in his power to make you feel better. Seeing you sick, your face red from how hot you are, your eyes closed, and curled up from how cold you felt had him thinking that if he could take away your sickness and be sick instead, Jungkook would choose that option in an instant.

He hands you the pills and the water bottle and watches you take them one by one. He remembers when you gawked at him when he took 4 pills at once and learned that you have a fear of the pill going down the wrong tube.

He also remembers that you prefer pills and injections instead of just medicine syrup. Which baffled him, to say the least; how could someone prefer an injection instead of just strawberry-flavored syrup? He laughed at you, which you just shrugged because it was the truth; you preferred to get poked by a needle than just drinking something.

“That’s actually crazy.” Jungkook throws his head backwards as a laugh rips out of his chest. “It’s nasty. I don’t care what flavor it is. I would literally throw it up.” You scrunch your nose, remembering the taste of the medicines your parents literally shoved down your throat so you could get better.

“Don’t get me started on how anything medicine strawberry flavored gives me PTSD till this day.” You shiver from the thought, which has your boyfriend laughing at you.

“I can’t breathe,” you say, your voice scratchy from your sore throat as you breathe from your mouth. “I should’ve enjoyed breathing when I could,” you joke, watching your boyfriend's eyes twinkle. They had a small glimmer to them, making you wonder how that could possibly happen and why you haven't seen it before with anyone else.

Jungkook had no clue how he ended up here… with a girl he met in a chemistry class that accidentally dropped sulfuric acid all over the floor alongside the beaker smashing into tiny pieces. He watched how your eyes widened as a small piece of your hair dropped beautifully in front of your face out of the low ponytail. You had tied it with a blue latex glove as a hair tie since you didn’t have one after no one in class had one to let you borrow.

That was two years ago; now here he was taking care of you as you struggled to breathe from your congested nose.

“Can I get my blanket back?” You pout at him, which he only shook his head with a chuckle.

….

“Get whatever you want,” Jungkook gave your ass a little tap as you entered the makeup store, your eyes widening from excitement. “Don’t say stuff like that,” you give him a look, which has him tilting your face up with his hand.

“Why, baby?” He chuckles, pecking your pouted lips.

“Because it makes me feel things, duh,” you whisper into his lips. He smiles into your mouth. His lip piercing sends cold shocks through your body that has you playfully shoving him away, remembering where you guys are.

“Get whatever you want, and then we can go to the bookstore,” Jungkook picks up the black and white striped little Sephora bag before pointing in front of you to walk.

You giggled as you started looking for the things that have been sitting in your phone cart for a while now. Jungkook follows behind you, stopping whenever you stop to look at the shelves for something before you drop the product in the basket in your boyfriend's hand.

“That’s really cute,” Jungkook mentions the lipstick tester you have in your hand. “You should get it,” he says, tilting his head at you, watching you open the lid being met with a reddish-dark color.

“Don’t you think it’s too dark?” You look up at your smiling boyfriend.

“What?” You giggle as you stare back at him. “You look beautiful,” he says casually, reaching for your beanie and pulling it down a bit more, fixing it. “You literally want me to die right now,” you joke. “Baby!” Jungkook laughs at the tone of voice you used.

“You can’t keep saying things like that without expecting me to literally melt away,” you lean your body onto him while he wraps his strong hands around your much smaller frame as you look up to him.

“I just say whatever is in my mind at the moment, princess,” he explains, giving your waist a small squeeze, making you squirm as the feeling made you ticklish. “Ah!” You laugh as his fingers dig into your rib cage, tickling you.

You push him away as he tries to continue to tickle your tummy. “Stop!” You laugh, trying to get away as far as you can from him.

Jungkook stops when he sees two girls around your guy's age pass beside you both with judging eyes. “Someone’s mad...” Jungkook whispers into your head as you just shake your head with a laugh.

“Let’s leave, I got everything,” you giggle, intertwining your fingers with him, making your way to the line.

When you guys finally get to the line, you are met with a pretty blonde girl, her dimples carved into her skin when she smiles up at you both. “Hi, is that all?” The girl said, you take notice of her name tag.

“Yes, that's all, thank you,” you smile back. “Find everything you wanted?” Genesis asks, as she starts scanning the products. “Yeah, thanks,” you say, playing with the strings of your hoodie as you see the price rise with each scan.

“Card or cash?” Genesis says, as she points to the credit card reader.

“Card,” Jungkook says before you could reply. He pulls out his black card from the back of the phone case, before scanning it through the white card reader without looking at the price. The machine makes a small sound, “here you go, have a wonderful day!” The girl says ripping the receipt before putting it into the white and black bag, handing it to you.

“Thank you, baby,” you say as you walk out the door of the store, Jungkook smiles at you before shrugging. “The least I could do, princess,” he gives your hand three small squeezes, which feels like he’s squeezing your heart as well. “It was expensive as fuck,” you pout at him. “How much?” He asks, “a thousand.” You cringe, scrunching your nose up at realizing the astonishing price. “That’s it?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow before reaching to the passenger side of his car.

“What! You’re crazy,” you say, giving him a slight swat. You watch as the side of his lips quirk up, making you mirror his actions.

“I love you,” you pout, as he leans into his car. “And I love you so much more,” he says, pulling you into him from your waist.

You tipped toe to reach for his lips, his lips mold with yours perfectly as you both were pieces of a puzzle. “How do you want the kiss?” He asks, giving your waist a squeeze. “What is this, a drive-thru? I get to ask what type of kiss I want,” you giggle, letting your forehead drop onto his chest which rumbles with a laugh.

“You get to ask whatever you want from me,” Jungkook rubs your back softly on top of your thick hoodie. “Oh shit,” your eyes widened as you saw the small print of your makeup on his black shirt when you raised your head upwards. “What?” He looks down to his shirt where you’re rubbing your fingers on the dirty print.

“I just ruined your shirt, baby, ahh!” You freak, which has Jungkook laughing while trying to reassure you that it’s fine and he’ll just wash it when he gets home.

As much as you guys had moments like this, you guys had your disagreements. They weren’t as bad where they ended in screaming matches or end up not talking for days, you guys usually make up the same day before going to bed. Jungkook loathed going to bed whenever you two fought; he felt compelled to make things right before even considering sleep.

“Why are you making me feel bad?” You say, your voice cracking, which echoes the fractures in Jungkook's heart. “I’m not, baby. It’s just... I can’t do anything about it,” Jungkook tries to reason with you.

“She was literally all over you, and you didn’t stop it,” you feel your eyes start to water before staring down at your converse.

“She’s my mom's best friend's daughter; I can’t just tell her to fuck off, y/n. I backed off. I can’t control what she does,” Jungkook raises his voice, a tear falling down your cheek as he addresses you by your first name, a departure from his usual endearments, which feels like a knife to your chest.

“Okay, then,” you nod, tears starting to cascade down, smudging your makeup in the process.

Jungkook's throat tightens; he feels like he can't breathe, feeling like shit. He watches you wipe your tears, small sniffles escaping your mouth. “I’m going to go,” you sniffle, turning your back to him and reaching for your bag.

“No, don't leave, let’s talk this out,” Jungkook implores, turning you around to face him. He reaches for your cheeks, wiping away the tears that continue to fall down your puffy cheeks. “You’re hurting me,” you say, with a sniffle.

“I know. I’m fucking sorry, baby,” he feels his heart racing, wanting to die for making you feel bad for caring about him.

“Why didn’t you push her away or say something? You made me look fucking stupid, Jungkook,” you cry, recalling the pang of feeling as Kailey flirted with him in front of his family, and he did nothing to stop it, leaving you feeling small and insignificant.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he kisses away your tears, trying to soothe the ache in your heart. “I promise I’ll shove her off whenever I see her, and if I have the chance to avoid her, I will,” he whispers into your cheek with each kiss he leaves on your face.

“Promise?” You whisper, finally meeting his worried eyes.

“Promise, baby,” he whispers back, holding eye contact with your red, puffy eyes.

“I hate making you cry; please forgive me,” Jungkook pulls you into him, hugging you tightly as if afraid you'll slip away. “I forgive you, just don’t do it ever again,” you sniffle into his chest, feeling the throb in your heart melt away.

“I love you,” he says, swaying you both in the middle of his living room.

“I love you,” you sniffle.

….

"But the Maze Runner is so good," you literally whine at your boyfriend, who is in the middle of changing his shirt.

"Yeah, but not as good as Spiderman," he says, poking his head out the shirt hole with a grin.

"Okay, true, but the Maze Runner is just as good; you need to read the book to understand," you mumble, trying to separate a piece of hair from your mouth as you curl another strand with your wand.

"You just have a huge crush on Dylan O’Brian, let’s be honest," your boyfriend chuckles, sending you a look through the mirror, to which you just roll your eyes back at him, acknowledging a) that he was right. b) he was literally right.

“Says the boy who had a crush on Fluttershy when we watched My Little Pony,” you say, giving him a 'don’t try me' look. His jaw falls before giving your hair a tiny soft pull.

"You said you wouldn’t bring it up," he laughs before shaking his head with a chuckle. "Well..." you just shrug.

“Fluttershy reminds me of you,” Jungkook stands behind you, his fingers playing with your freshly curled hair. “Until you act like a brat,” he tugs on your hair, making your head snap backwards, where he leaves a big fat smooch on your lips.

“Okay, princess, let’s go,” he says before unplugging the curling wand wire, grabbing your bag and coat, before holding your hand and leading you outside.

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family Code: White Analysis

I finally saw the Spy x family movie Code: White!!

It was fantastic. I loved it 💖

Here's what I think (spoilers below the picture 😉):

Twilight

It's super evident Twilight cares A LOT about his family. As soon as Handler tells him someone else will take over Operation Strix, he's worried and, during the movie, he goes around like a crazy man doing all sorts of crazy things to keep his family. Nevertheless, the biggest giveaway about this happens when:

Twilight puts Anya before his mission!! Yes, you read right: Agent Twilight receives a direct order from WISE telling him that recovering the microfilm had priority over rescuing Anya and Mr. Spy puts his daughter's safety first and goes to her rescue (which eventually led to getting the microfilm back, but still).

Yor

Yor is a total mom here. She protects her baby and plays with her too 😌 She acts like a mom too because she's always trying to keep the family together; she's the one who reminds that to Loid when he's all frantic working. Here, Yor displays one of her best quality: emotional intelligence. And of course, during the movie at the big fight scene she looks like a total badass.

Now about the big Twiyor moment...

Like I mentioned before here, there's a fake and a real Twiyor moment in the movie. The fake Twiyor moment happens when Yor gets drunk and asks Loid to tell her how he really feels about her (!!!)...before passing out 🫤 You've probably seen plenty of images about that:

The real Twiyor moment happens later, thanks to the captain of the Twiyor ship 🫡 Anya Forger, who pushes her parents to ride the Ferris wheel alone so they can flirt. Here, Yor tells him (crying) that she saw him with his "girlfriend" and Loid clarifies it was just a random stranger (it was Nightfall) asking for directions. This is when the real Twiyor moment happens:

Listen, we could argue that Twilight here was being a liar and trying to fix the situation between them "for the mission", but I choose to believe something different. In my opinion, Twilight was being sincere and he wanted not only to reassure Yor but to pour his heart out and reassure himself. Come on, the man repeated their wedding vows! He was getting carried away (it was too much for our shy Yor) and if it wasn't for Yor punching him out of the Ferris wheel, I think this would have ended in the Twiyor kiss we've all been waiting 😆 (maybe one day!).

Something worth mentioning is that when Twilight and Yor get off the Ferris wheel, Anya reads their minds, but we don't get to know what her parents are thinking 😏 she just smiles and that's how she knows everything is okay between her parents. Little sus, right? I am sure Anya knows what's really going on between those two (read about that here).

This happens again, when Twilight rescues Anya from the kidnappers. We all know Mr. Spy is bad at expressing his emotions, so when he's finally reunited with his daughter, he doesn't show much of anything. Anya hugs him, picks her head up and reads his mind. Just like the last time, we don't get to know what Anya reads inside her papa's mind, but she smiles. Funny how this only happens twice in the movie, in both occasions related to his wife and daughter 🤔

So now, the big question: Is this movie canon?

In this case, every person who sees the movie can form their own opinion about that. In my opinion, since there was no identity reveal nor anything that would change the plot in the manga, I think it's okay to consider it canon. So, until the author says it's not canon, I'm going to consider it part of it.

Overall, it was a fantastic movie, very funny, with plenty of Forger family moments and that something that makes Spy x family so special 💖

[livwritesstuff]

inspired by a reply @gregre369 left on yesterday’s post. this is why i love this site so much bc i had this idea floating aimlessly around my brain for such a long time and then someone says something that just connects all the dots for me so - much thanks <3

tw: brief reference to domestic violence

One of parenthood’s biggest surprises (in Eddie’s opinion, anyway) was how easy talking to his and Steve’s daughters about why his parents aren’t in his life was.

He’d figured it’d be hard to figure out exactly how to explain that his mother's death was due to domestic violence caused by his father, who had died in prison twenty years later – but…that about covers it, honestly. Sure, the exact rendition of the story the girls hear varies as they get older, but…it’s pretty straightforward, actually.

Explaining Steve’s situation turned out to be way more complicated for…well, for a lot of reasons, and the fact that his parents are still alive and breathing and choosing to not be around didn't help things at all.

It also didn't help that the girls totally saw Jim and Joyce as Steve’s parents, but it did lead to a conversation that Eddie doesn't think he'll ever forget:

It happened when he was passing through the kitchen to see that Steve was cooking with Moe.

"What're we up to in here?" he asked.

At four years old (she’s actually almost five), Moe has yet to outgrow a phase of picky eating that had started out right around her second birthday. Steve is trying out a new method where he involves Moe in the cooking process in the hopes that she then actually wants to eat the product of her hard work when it’s done. He's seeing varying levels of success.

“We're making burgers,” Moe said, “Poppy’s recipe.”

Eddie looked at Steve skeptically, “Poppy Jim or Poppy Joyce?”

Steve rolled his eyes, “I’m telling Joyce you said that.”

And then he added, “Jim.”

Satisfied, Eddie continued on his way.

“How come you call your dad Jim?” Moe asked.

And that had Eddie pausing in the hallway just out of their line of sight.

“Well, Poppy’s not my dad, sweet pea,” Steve replied.

“Did you not have a dad?”

“I did have a dad – I do. He lives in Indiana with my mom. We don't really talk to each other anymore though."

"Why?"

"When I was younger, I decided that they didn’t take care of me like I needed them too, and Jim and Joyce stepped in to be like my parents instead."

It's not completely accurate, Eddie knows (and he doesn't love the way Steve is shifting culpability away from his parents because that shit was fully on them, but whatever; it's his story and he can tell it however he want), but just like how they don't have a completely accurate picture of what happened to Eddie's mom either, they know what they need to know for now and they'll hear more down the line.

“But what did your mom and dad do?” Moe asked.

"Well, you know how Daddy and I read to you and play with you and put you to bed and make food for you – it was a little different because I was older and I needed different stuff than that, but…”

Eddie watched Steve look back at their oldest daughter, watched him see the look of confusion in her big brown eyes.

“They didn’t do that?” Moe asked, sounding perplexed.

Steve shook his head, and Moe continued to look at him as if he might suddenly tell her he was joking.

“That’s crazy,” Moe finally said, and Steve let out a laugh.

“It is kinda crazy, isn’t it?” he agreed, “That’s why I love being your dad so much, because it’s actually so easy to want to take care of you. Even though you sometimes like to make it hard on purpose, right?”

“Yeah,” she grinned proudly, “Like when I make you snuggle me more at bedtime and you fall asleep by accident and then the kitchen is messy in the morning."

"Uh-huh," Steve said, poking her in the side so she giggled, "Exactly like that."

"You're a good dad," Moe told him.

"You think?" Steve asked as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"The best dad."

“The best?” he repeated, “Can’t let Daddy hear that.”

“He can hear it.”

[pinkberrypocky]

pmmm rewatch live notes: ep 3

we're back in the building! watching my friends react to mami in this ep was great. up until this point they were like idk why u felt the need to make sure to emphasize its psychological horror like its not that bad and then this ep they were like yeah so thanks for the warning thats shit was Crazy.

ok ok notes time

yellow lighting in kyosuke’s hospital room when sayaka visits 

kyosuke has a half hearted smile and a bit of a faraway look in his eyes when he talks about music w sayaka 

he looks away upset w broken arm extended when they listen to music and sayaka goes from happy and blushy to sad

sayaka gets all excited and makes comments about how cool it is to fight for justice as a magical girl and mami has to remind her it’s dangerous 

mami says she didn’t have the luxury of a choice

she had to make her contact to survive

which is ironic bc her soul was removed when she made it so she really died anyways 

and the magical girl profession always ends in early death anyways 

mami asks sayaka if she actually wants kyosuke’s wish fulfilled or if she wants him to be grateful FORESHADOWING

kyubey says the sooner the better and mami makes a joke about not pushing girls into things and everyone laughs but like it is literally what he does he pressures them and gets them into more and more situations that ups the pressure to become a magical girl

madoka says she doesn’t have any skills or passions so she wants to be a magical girl to have a purpose (me fr)

madoka asks her dad why her mom likes her job so much and her dad explains that it’s trying her best at smth that she loves 

foreshadowing for madoka’s choices 

your dream being not smth in specific but being able to devote yourself wholly to Something 

homura is upset that mami is leading them into danger 

mami brushes it off as bc kyubey chose them but i think deep down it’s bc she doesn’t want to be alone anymore

kyubey chooses sayaka to stay and watch the grief seed while madoka gets mami bc he knows that she’s closer to agreeing to be a magical girl and has a wish in mind and if an emergency happened he could get her to do it right away

yellow and orange sunset lighting when mami goes into the labyrinth that she dies in

homura tries to hunt the witch bc she knows mami will die fighting it but none of them see this and think she’s being selfish 

madoka is hesitant to ignore and leave behind homura but ultimately puts up no fight and follows mami

madoka feels bad that she’s not good at anything and relies on others for things a lot (just like me fr)

says becoming a magical girl would be her dream to help and save others 

madoka tells mami she’s not alone anymore just like she does w all of the magical girls in the timeline of forever

yellow orbs of light that look like mami’s soul gem float around them

mami tells madoka to wish for a cake if she can’t think of smth better by the time they beat the witch which is fucking wild considering mami should know the gravity of this choice

she is so overjoyed by madoka ensuring she’d never be alone again that she isn’t thinking about that part

she says she’s not scared anymore bc she’s not alone and rushed in without fear 

it’s that hope that kills her

mami dies and the red ribbon restraining homura fades away in her hand

like madoka’s ribbon 

sayaka takes things out on homura for taking the grief seed saying it belonged to mami which foreshadows how she is w kyoko and the other way of being a magical girl 

in the new ending a silhouette of homura reaches for madoka as she walks away

[doubledyke]

Hi!! For eddeddy: 2, 3, 5, 6, 10 and 25.

Hey thanks so much for the ask! I'm gonna go ahead and answer the ones I got from the anon here as well, so I don't have to make a separate post.

2. (anon also asked) Who confessed? How?

So I do think that Edd would be the first one who's open with his feelings because he's the first one to accept his sexuality. I've delved into it a little bit in another post, but I essentially think that Edd is the one chasing Eddy for a while, at first. Then he gives up and decides to date other people, or remains single, either one. He basically drives Eddy crazy and they end up getting together after a weird on and off, will-they-won't-they type situation-ship. It could happen in many different ways, obviously. But that's my general outline, lol.

3. (anon also asked) Describe their first date.

This one's hard because I don't picture a first "date" per se, but if I had to choose, I'd guess something pretty casual. Probably dinner and a movie at one of their houses. Most likely Edd's since his parents are never home anyway. Eddy cooks something and makes a giant mess, which they argue about. He tries to clean, but Edd stops him, knowing he's going to have to come behind him and redo it anyway. They eat awkwardly at the table, since food is not allowed outside of the kitchen/dining room. Eventually, they get around to watching whatever gratuitously pornographic 70's movie Eddy chose. Edd barely pays attention because he's so wired. Eddy barely pays attention because he keeps picturing Edd's parents coming home and finding him in the house, after being explicitly barred. Edd only follows rules that are convenient for him, you see.

5. Describe their first time having sex.

Probably very drunken and uncomfortable. Edd pukes at some point. Memorable.

6. Who cooks? Describe their cooking.

Eddy is the cook! He is really good at it after working in a lot of kitchens and being someone who loves food. Never trust a skinny cook! He likes to try new things, and put his own spin on classic recipes. He learned a lot from his mom as well, so he makes a lot of homestyle foods from the family recipe book. His dad was definitely a BBQ dad, so he's good on the grill as well.

10. What is their sexual dynamic like?

I think they're fairly vanilla, with Eddy trying to bust out the occasional novelty move. How embarrassing.... Edd finds it hilarious and plays along.

11. (from anon) I already answered this one, but thank you!

14. (from anon) Who do they talk to when they want to complain about their partner, or when they have a relationship problem?

Poor Ed, having to deal with it from both sides. I don't know who else they'd go to. I have an HC that Eddy and May become good friends, so I'm sure they'd eventually confide those kinds of things in each other. I'd say in general they try to confront each other about their issues, even if it's in their own sarcastic asshole ways.

17. (from anon) What's each person's type? Does their partner meet this, or are they an atypical match for them? I think Eddy is attracted to "manly men", funnily enough. Broad shoulders, chiseled jaw, classic masculinity. He watches a lot of old Hollywood movies for a reason. So, no, Edd is obviously not that. Edd has his own form of masculinity, but that isn't what matters to Eddy in this case. Eddy appreciates Edd's perceived femininity because in a way, it makes him appear more "manly" himself. Edd's type is probably exactly Eddy. Or the female version of Eddy (bi representation matters). Aggro, chubby, and flamboyant with a devilish charm. And a nice smile 😁

25. Assuming they have children, what is their parenting like?

I highly doubt they'd have kids, for various reasons. If they did, I feel sorry for the kid. Mostly kidding, but I think they'd have very different parenting styles. Eddy would be the laid back, fun dad who lets the kid get away with murder. Edd would be the very structured helicopter parent. Edd would have a lot of very strong feelings about how to raise a child. His OCD would probably prevent him from wanting a kid, because he'd be so afraid of screwing up somehow. Eddy doesn't even like kids, but he's good with them. I can't really offer many thoughts on this topic because I just don't see them having kids to be honest.

Thanks again for asking! If you read this, you can bill me for therapy.

[baronessblixen]

I know you have a lot of prompts to answer but this one was on my mind so I’ll give it : M&S have to leave William with her mom for the first time for a case but Scully (and/or Mulder!) has a hard time leaving him ☺️

Canon divergent: Set after season 8, Mulder didn't leave and William wasn't given up.

Fictober Day 22 | Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2022 | Wc: 1,362

The Birds, The Bees And The Mulders

Mulder pretends to be busy getting dressed, struggling with his tie, when in reality, he’s watching Scully giving herself a once over in the mirror. Her hand is on her skirt, picking at invisible lint. It’s been over a year since she last donned her work clothes. Back then, she was still wearing her maternity clothes, this particular skirt hidden away in her closet because there was no way she fit into it.

“Think they’ll remember us at the FBI?” Mulder asks her, wrapping his arm around her middle and resting his head on her shoulder. He catches her eyes in the reflection of the mirror. He’s known her long enough to recognize the conflict in her expression.

“We were there a month ago,” she says, putting her hands over his. “Remember? We talked to Skinner. We had William with us.”

“I remember,” he says, kissing her cheek. “You know Scully, we don’t have to do this.”

“Do what? Wear clothes? I think it’s a requirement, Mulder.” He chuckles, kissing her cheek. Living with him has rubbed off on her; she, too, makes jokes when there’s something she doesn’t want to talk about. For days he’s been waiting for him to start this conversation, but she hasn’t. He’s been patient with her, waiting. But they can’t ignore it any longer.

“Go back to work. Leave William with your mom. We don’t have to do it,” he says gently.

“We have to go back to work if we want to continue paying rent.”

“There’s still enough money left,” Mulder assures her. “You can stay home.” In the mirror, he sees her bite her bottom lip. She tries to wriggle out of his embrace and he reluctantly lets go of her.

“I don’t even want to stay home,” she admits, turning away from him. “I miss work. I love William, and I wouldn’t trade the last few months for anything, but…”

“You miss the slicing and the dicing.” Mulder smiles at her.

“Does that make me a bad mother?” Another lip bite.

“Come here, Scully.” She walks over to him, having to crane her neck to look at him. There are still moments when Mulder is surprised by their height difference, even after all this time. It just slips his mind until they’re face to face like this. She takes up so much space in his mind that he can’t think of her as being small.

“You’re a wonderful mother,” he tells her, his head close to hers. “You can love our kid and your work. Is that what’s been bothering you the last few days?”

“You noticed that, huh?” She says, sounding dejected.

“I’m a profiler, aren’t I?” He gives her a grin to ease the moment. “Also, I know you and I love you. You’ve been worrying about this ever since you talked to your mom about watching William.”

“You didn’t say anything.”

“I didn’t want to push you.”

“I know my mom will take good care of Will,” Scully says. “I know Will loves her. He probably won’t even miss us.” She says the last bit with tears in her eyes. “I just don’t… what if something happens, Mulder? It’s not like it was before. But I miss work. I miss – you’re gonna think I’m crazy.”

“Hey, I have decades of experience being called crazy. You? You are not crazy, Scully, no matter what you’re gonna say.”

“I miss the autopsies. I miss the dissecting, finding the clues, the reasons. I want to get to the truth of what happened to these people. Still think I’m not crazy?”

“Not even a little bit,” he says, kissing her to prove his point. “You’re brilliant at your job, Scully. I know you love it. You shouldn’t have to choose.” She nods, playing with his tie, straightening it.

“But what if… we’ve been shot, abducted, placed in quarantines. Sometimes we barely made it out of these situations alive. How can we do this to William, Mulder?” She’s sobbing and he pulls her into his arms, holding her tightly against him. She smells like William’s baby shampoo and he closes his eyes against the onslaught of emotions it brings.

“We’ll only take on cases we deem safe,” he whispers into her hair.

“That never works, Mulder. What about all your little nice trips to the forests?”

“Then what’s the solution? We give up our jobs?” They had talked about it shortly after William was born, cocooned in their bed with their sleeping son right next to them. Every breath he took seemed like a miracle. Mulder couldn’t imagine ever leaving their son for longer than a second.

Gradually, things changed with Scully being more open to handing William over to her mother, or to Skinner. But Mulder always stood guard, ready to turn the whole world upside down to keep his son safe and within his reach.

“I’m not sure I’m ready,” Scully says with a sigh. “I can’t- I think one of us should stay with him. At least for another while. I’m going to let Skinner know that he needs to find a new pathologist.” There’s defeat in her voice, a loud sadness.

“Wait a second,” Mulder says. “How about I stay home with William? We both know I’m more likely to jump on a moving train than you.” They smile at each other.

“You love your work,” Scully says, sniffling.

“Not as much as I love you and William. And not as much as you love your job. Honestly? I didn’t even miss it. I quit before Will was born, remember?” She nods. “I’m not saying I want to do this forever. We can give it a shot. You go to work, bring home the money, and I’m gonna stay here with Will. What do you say?”

“My mom is going to be so sad she doesn’t get to watch William,” Scully says after a moment of consideration. “Mulder, I really-,” he silences her with a kiss.

“I want to do this,” he says. “Do you know the southern cassowary, Scully?”

“The large bird from Australia?”

He nods, continuing, “In cassowary families, it’s the dad that builds the nest and raises the offspring. Let me be a southern cassowary, Scully.” She laughs, wiping away a few tears.

“You do know that the female goes off after laying eggs and has more kids with other birds, right?”

“We don’t have to be exactly like the southern cassowary,” he concedes, taking over to wipe away the tears from her eyes and cheeks. It’s a good thing she hasn’t applied her make-up yet. He knows she wants to make a good expression on her first day back.

Today will be her first day back and he won’t be there to witness it. He will change out of his suit, hang up his tie for good, and go pick up William from her mother’s. Excitement spreads in his chest in a way that going back to work never did.

“Good cause they’re very aggressive birds.”

“I will defend you and our son against everything,” Mulder says.

“I know you will.” Scully gets on tiptoes to press a long kiss against his mouth. Yeah, he will miss being able to kiss her all through the day. But he’ll get to kiss her goodbye every morning. That’s something, too.

“Do you think I’m being ridiculous?”

“I could never think that. Not about this, anyway,” he adds. “Let’s give it a trial run. We do this for a month and then we reevaluate the situation. Deal?”

“Deal.” She gives him another kiss. “I love you, Mulder.”

“Hmm, love you, too. Now let’s get ready, I don’t want you to be late on your first day back at work. I’ll drop you off before I pick up Will from your mom’s.”

“What will the two of you be doing all day?” She asks, walking into the bathroom. Mulder follows her, loosening his tie.

“Oh you know,” he says, grinning. “Teaching our son about the birds, the bees, and government conspiracies.” Scully throws him an apprehensive look.

“You think it’s too soon to teach him about the birds and the bees?”

[swedebeast]

I was not having a good day already today. The kid I am in charge of looking after is the most foul-mouthed, spiteful, obstinate, rude, disrespectful, and disruptive child I have ever seen in my entire life. Nothing I do reaches him, I can make deals and promises to the kid - and he promises to behave and he'll get something out of it like using a chrome book for the last hour of school, but breaks them and then freaks out and acts indignant after being warned what he is doing will null anything fun I had made plans with him.

And on top of all that, the kids thought it was fun to throw pens at me when I have my back turned to them. I even texted the principal that we needed to have a discussion about "my" kid's behaviour.

But hey, the best part was when he smacked a much smaller younger kid on the head when he was roaming around in the hallways, and I told him firmly that this was not okay - as to which he saw it as a challenge and hit ME on the head. As to which I held him by his arms, and raised my voice that I did not find that funny, I do not want to ever see that happen again, and he is going to knock that off.

His regular teacher even walked by, did not say a single thing.

And then, while having dinner at home today, I get a call from the principal that two teachers did not like what they saw I did, and I was asked to stay home for the rest of the week, and the two teachers, the principal, and me will meet up and talk about this.

So yeah. Good times. I try to do my job, and I fully admit I lost my temper, and it feels like such a cowardly measure when every single person I have talked to at this school have either turned down my position, or told me that they could never do what I am doing.

This child understands consequences, but does not choose to take responsibility for his actions. He lies, cheats, is violent to smaller children, and acts as if he will die if he does a single assignment in class, and refuses to believe that good grades = opportunities in adulthood, and he will just play games all day. If he needs to pay rent? He will get a job for a day and then quit. If he needs a car, he'll just steal one. If he can't find a place, he'll just stay with mom.

And of course you don't go to jail for stealing a car, of course not. You just get an ankle bracelet. My coworker, who is in charge of another child with other issues, said he got the better kid, and told me this kid I got will, and I quote, "cost society a lot of money through the years."

It sounds awful to rag on an elementary school student, and it is. And maybe I am ranting, but this is such a shit situation that I was not given any information about this kid or really any genuine expectations until -after- I had signed the contract. And I am just handed this menace, because no one else wants to because they know they can't handle it - and I am treated like a villain for doing the things everyone else knows they would end up doing.

I don't know if it is, but it fucking feels unfair. Maybe I should just give up, let him have one of the chrome books he tries to steal from the classroom and run away, and just let him sit in one of the unused rooms all day and just take easy checks.

If that is all they want, having given up on the kid - and they expect me to do the same? Fine. Whatever. Like the kid realize 10 years later he fucked himself over. I am just so damned mad because he doesn't even realize how badly he is sabotaging himself. It honestly makes me feel bad for the kid, as much as he drives me crazy.

[magnoliamyrrh]

hey anon <3 yea its totally fine to just vent

im sorry you grew up in that situation, its wild but also i get it. its crazy how men will just b allowed to get away with shit like that if they keep it lowkey enough. or even if they dont. my father is psychotic too so i get how scary and.... a lot to say the least it can be, but im glad that in his insanity he managed to at least protect you from that and keep something from happening, thank god

i totally know the feeling of just being.... let down like that. i dont even remember it but according to my therapist lol when i was like 5 i did tell my mom after i came back from my dads house that i didn't wanna go back and kept insisting and she just... dismissed it. uhm, it sucks. it just does. its still hard for me to understand how the hell she even managed to miss all the signs that something was rly fucked up and wrong, but, welp. she did. or maybe she didnt and she was/is in deep denial, i always go back and forth on that.... it really is fucked up to realize that the ppl who should have protected you just failed to do so, especially when its in favour of idk ~not creating drama~ or choosing to protect their adult family members over their own fucking kids and youre totally right to be angry.... ive never been able to understand either how when theyre suspicious of someone or even had personal experiences theyll still take that risk with their kids???? drives me insane. in my own experience ive been like oh well theyre traumatized too oh well female socialization has melted their brains when it comes to this sort of stuff but past a point its like. no man i dont care, its just fucked up, its your responsability to protect your kids from shit like that before anything else

[officecyborg]

kurama!

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: He's a classic Zoe-bait Weird Brain Stuff character who's trying to integrate two contradictory aspects of his identity. Looks human, secretly an extremely alien being, even-more-secretly the most human of them all. I like Megumi Ogata's performance, too.

Why I don’t: Crazy "you have to decapitate me" martyr complex that manifests at the drop of a hat. King cognitive dissonance re: having human emotions. Also you forget how often he is a sarcastic asshole with no compassion for anyone except his mom. Hm. Actually this has circled back to being more reasons I like him.

Favourite episode: Shigure battle. This one was extremely divisive back in the day--a lot of people really didn't like the idea of Kurama choosing to be human But imo it takes an extremely odd throwaway background event from the manga ("Kurama fought the evil surgeon from Hiei's backstory, and tied!") and turns it into a poignant, dreamlike meditation on Kurama's relationship with his human family that nicely resolves his arc. They did not need to put this much effort into a filler episode from an action show for ten-year-old boys.

Favourite season: Man, it's really a tough call. I mean what the anime does with the Three Kings arc is so moody and political, obviously I love that. But he also has a lot of good stuff in Chapter Black. The episode where he, essentially, participates in a shadow game with a little kid and the ensuing fallout was just devastating.

Favourite line: Hm most of my favourite bits with him are answering others' lines. In the dub: "Pain is not a weakness, it's a strength. It teaches a creature its vulnerabilities--and not to expose them to attack."

Favourite outfit: It is actually not any of his many fancy costumes, or his dykey leather jacket from Three Kings. It's whatever the hell this is:

Shoulder pouches??

OTP: Don't really have one, I do think all his interactions with Kuwabara are delightful. It seems like those two guys from HxH are kind of the sequel to that.

Brotp: Kurama and Hiei

Head Canon: I just went back through my tag to try and remember what this character was about and it included the statement that manga Kurama doesn't wash his hair but "only takes dust baths". So.

Unpopular opinion: Don't really like Yoko Kurama.

A wish: They ended up granting it by having the Kurama flashback chapter as an OVA. Oh, actually the anime doesn't explain the situation with his mother, which is nuts. Wish that had been in the show

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Dunno? More content but it's Yoko Kurama. Hey sidenote did you know that his human surname is "Minamino" after the singer Yoko Minamino, for the pun?

5 words to best describe them: Ruthless, self-sacrificing, bitchy, autistic, and gay.

My nickname for them: Don't have one... uhh "my best friend in real life"

[dancergurl3000]

I don’t think I’ve ever really told my own story on this blog before but since I’m a writer I’ll start by just saying that you do not ultimately get to choose what kind of family you are born into. I am an adult child of alcoholic parents. My parents are both alcoholics. One is sober, the other is not. My entire life has been about taking care of other people. My entire life has been a total and complete struggle to maintain friendships, relationships, and jobs. I’ve been in therapy since I was 10. I am a survivor of child abuse and sexual assault. And I do not think I have ever been told the following by anyone: 1. That I am loved, 2. That I can be anything that I want to be when I grow up, and 3. That I was safe to tell my own story. I never learned how to trust people at a young age. I have a college degree, so I am educated, but I basically put myself through college. And my father worked throughout my childhood and was just very angry at his kids when he came home. My brother and I were forced to go to a high school we did not want to go to, the high school where he taught at. No one even learned my name when I was a teenager. I was just Mr Dunne’s daughter. And I was bullied, picked on, teased, beaten up, relentlessly in school. Mainly I think it was mostly because I was mostly good at school. I graduated high school in the top 30 percent of my grade. I graduated with high honors. Guess I thought that if I graduated like that, my mom would quit drinking. By that time, my dad was physically shutting me up in psych wards about my mother’s alcoholism. And he kept doing it. Until summer 2012 when she finally admitted that she had a drinking problem. I spent my 21rst birthday at the rehab facility that she was staying at, telling her at a family counseling session: “mom I can’t have a relationship with you if you’re drinking.” I never understood why I had the family I had. Other families where I grew up had different dynamics. Mine was: my parents worked two or three jobs and drank on the weekends and virtually every holiday and my brother and I were miserable. That’s just the way it was. I escaped through watching Television, my favorite TV show depicting women in heroic positions like “Buffy the vampire slayer.” I escaped with music. I loved listening to Vanessa Carlton on my Walkman before high school classes began at 7:26 in the morning. Her 2007 album “Heroes and Thieves” was on repeat and it’s on my top ten favorites of all time. I write this blog not to garner sympathy but understand that a child has no power over someone else’s drinking. I have been diagnosed with severe PTSD by three different psychotherapists in the capitol region, and my father still doesn’t believe them. Or me. I have explained how I have panic attacks if I’m alone in public downtown. He doesn’t think that happens, or that I am “faking.” My hope is that my writing one day can bring people hope that you are not alone. I know how it feels specifically to be brandished as just a liar, a piece of shit, nothing more as my dad always says. I hope someday there is a community of people who can find solace and comfort in knowing that you’re not crazy, the people in your life just don’t want to see the truth in any situation. I’ll always pray for my dad. And I pray that there is hope for children who just want to be heard and that their pain is totally and completely valid. I never wanted to write my own story. I just know what alcohol and drugs do to a family. It destroys a family from the inside out. Because if you can’t see that alcohol is destructive, then I guess nothing matters in the end. Please be patient with us kids. We are trying. We are trying to heal and recover from an insidious disease. From a disease that no one really wants to deal with. Maybe one day my dad can tell me how he’s sorry. Maybe one day I hope to be able to forgive him. Because it wasn’t my fault. I hope someday he sees more than he originally did.

[cocobuny]

Life Changing 01

The End and The Beginning

What if we can choose our lives? With just a press of a button our lives can go from living in the dumps to living like royalty. Surely, nothing can go wrong, right?

I’ve lived 16 years on this planet and everyday is life changing. Literally. Every family living in this country can change their lives whenever they please. Adults, everyone 18 and above, possess this power. Children have no choice but to follow their elderly. But this comes to an end. I don’t want to be a pawn, a puppet used by my parents. I want to live a life with all its ups and downs.

Surely, changing the system won’t hurt, right?

Since the day I was born my family changed everyday. Seriously. One day I would be dirt poor living on the streets and after one bonk to the head, I was living in a 3 floor mansion with an olympic sized swimming pool. 

I don't really know who I am because of this. My parents would change whenever my life path changed. It wasn't a physical change, but when I was old enough I could see that their mentality changed. They saw that changing our lives was a good punishment for their children. I swear they were having fun seeing their 8 children struggle to live whenever we disobeyed them. 

Then all of a sudden everything stopped. Our lives were permanently changed for good, with only a “please try again later” sign taped up at the front of our door.

“They never said there was a limit! My parents never had trouble changing lives when I was a kid. Why is this happening now?”

“I've sent a request to the government. We'll hear from them soon.” My dad tried to reassure my mom who's been walking mindlessly around the kitchen island.

“Had I known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have changed our lives. We were living perfectly fine at the mansion yesterday. If only I hadn't gotten mad at Olive.” She finally stopped walking and made direct eye contact with me. I wasn't supposed to be in the kitchen when they were having a talk. But, it's not like they can punish me now.

“Sorry, I just wanted water. It's a little dry outside.” I walked past mom and refilled my water bottle. All the while I felt a burning sensation on the back of my neck. This is totally not good, she's practically fuming. Whether or not it's with me or the situation, I don't know.

I turned around and, as expected, mom was still staring me down. “Hazel, have you seen any news about our situation?” 

“No. There haven't been any complaints online or on the news.” I quickly side walked away from the kitchen before she could ask any more questions. When I was out of earshot and I let out the biggest sigh of relief anyone can make. 

I turn on my laptop, the one thing I managed to save from the last life, and hopped on call with Alex. Alex has been my friend since we were in kindergarten. We've been through a lot of things together and he knows how crazy my parents take advantage of changing lives. 

“I don't have much time. They've already sent a request and it won't be long until they find out someone tampered with the family's system.” The walls in this house are thin enough that anyone on the same floor can hear your conversations. So, I have to type some things out in a private chat.

“It's a good thing that everything is done on my part.” He looks at me with a smug look. I hate that face, but it means he's confident and that it's my turn to play the round.

That's right. I was the reason my family can't change lives and you can't blame me. Imagine living for 16 years and having to live a different lifestyle every single day. It's much worse than I'm making it sound. 

I have, and so do my 7 siblings, no privacy. Everything we do whether it's online or offline is recorded by our parents. They know our every single move before we can make it. They see right through us and I've had enough. Changing lives so often then other families was the last straw.

Alex and I hacked into the system to study how this all works. We found out that each change isn't just 1 family changing, it's multiple. Whenever my family changes our life, we're switched with another family.

[itsadragonaesthetic]

Was taught about the atom bombs in middle school in grave detail with bits of brainwashing and then never learned about it that intensely until now and uhhh just wanted to share some thoughts. (I'm actually trying to cope right now and I feel like blabbering lmao) Trigger for general discussion of the bombs, personal fears and feelings, and mentions of Nazis. Please tell me if I should add more/different tags.

I was very thoroughly brainwashed about WW2 when I was in middle school. No doubt. Full blown "it was a necessary evil" and "Americans are the heros" and "the greatest generation" all taught by an asshole boomer (no literally) who forced me to watch reconstructions of people being vaporized by the bombs (I asked to not participate and he refused).

I genuinely look back on that similarly to how my mom looks back on the similarly brutal education she got. It was traumatizing. After that I just blanked it all out of my mind for years. I got to it in high school but didn't pay much attention and the curriculum didn't go in depth as to not be opinionated or traumatize anyone being forced to read about it against their will.

I've been learning about it again over the last few days out of curiosity, prime timing with a WW2 movie being released, and because I could feel some kind of weird wound in my psyche about those bombs that I wanted to explore.

Something new that has happened is that I'm beginning to comprehend that WW2 actually happened. I was told about it when I was a fucking child as to lessen the impact of how crazy it was. To make it impossible for me to fully process and question it. To make the event sound normal. Later I knew of the horrors of the Nazis, especially cuz some idiots currently decided to bring it up into politics again. I'm not sure if I'll ever fully process any of that honestly. I learned a lot about it in high school, but nothing too crazy.

That bombing tho, and the entire situation of the US relationship with Japan... it's hard to think about. I think it's hard because of that brainwashing. Even if I say I don't like America or whatever, I have to admit that there are some patterns in there that will always need weeding simply due to my education. Ableism, racism, harmful nationalism, disconnect from other countries, all of that doesn't fix itself when you yell "fuck america".

I was initially taught with the American pride ideas. We had no choice, the Japanese were evil savages, and America is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Woo pride for our troops or whatever. I grew up and realized it was all bullshit but I had a sort of... apologist perspective on the horrors. Those people were brainwashed. Those marines thought they were doing the right thing. Those poor Americans just wanted the war to end. They didn't know what that bomb did.

But I only thought that because that's the America I choose to see in the present day. I still talk respectfully to veterans simply because I pity them, and many realized they were duped by the Iraq war propaganda. I give them respect because they didn't deserve to experience that, nor did they want to. I also generally think of Americans as ignorant. They only think these wars are justified because they've been led astray by assholes at the top who want more money. Were all just a bunch of roaches at the bottom of a barrel being swayed by the tides of our upbringing.

This was not how it was in WW2. People were victims of propaganda, but many were truly evil. I liked to imagine people felt shock and fear after the first test, but no. People cheered. People were given medals after dropping the bomb. They had the mushroom cloud and news coverage play on TV and people said "we should bomb them again". They saw survivors years after the event and laughed at their deformities. Americans whined and bitched about the war effort, then took full credit for being good humanitarians after we won. Japanese Americans were treated like less than animals.

The Nazis were just... that shit is enough to give you nightmares for sure. But that evil feels far away. It feels like it's fueled by mythical monsters and misinformed people. Maybe the bombs are only shaking me so bad because it's close to home, but hearing about those bombings makes me feel... haunted. The power of the sun, creation itself, was released and it birthed a thousand demons that still stalk every person even remotely affected. Generations down, it feels like the spirit of some lost soul is looking for someone to blame. As an American, it feels like it must be me. The fact that I knew so many kids in high school who chose the WW2 special courses that unpack those horrors and many still came out as white nationalists reminds me that WW2 wasn't even 100 years ago. The mindset that unleashed the most atrocious horrors upon the earth isn't long dead like I was taught it was. Nor is it in some far off land. I am indeed superstitious, and it makes me afraid of demons disguised as people. When they said learning about this stuff is enough to make you feel like half of a human for an afternoon, they weren't kidding.

[chrysanthemumpink]

hey ashley this is awkward to say but i read the leoxpisces tag like when i get chances to and i remember the piece you wrote about maybe you’re staying just to stay

i sent it to my boyfriend and the next day we broke up and idk how you do it- finding someone who stays and i’m terrified that i won’t find someone who’ll just like, at least stay.

this is very impulsive and im sorry if it ruined moods and is probably unnecessary but yeah i’ve been alone for around 4 months while he is already out there with a new girl 10 days after we officially split

how do you keep going?

Honestly, I’ve been thinking about you and watching sister wives. Truth be told, I can’t keep going anymore. I feel like when we first met and Leo x Pisces began, we had to find reasons to be apart. And these days, I’m running out of reasons for us to be together.

He doesn’t actually like me. Yea sure, he’s occasionally infatuated, maybe on some level loved. Even the things he doesn’t like about me, he still craves and misses when it’s gone. It’s hard to explain but the things about us that shouldn’t work are the things that bind us together and what we can’t let go of. As a flame, I find water drowning but also cooling and free. As water, he finds flames warm and beautifully erratic. Mesmerizing, but impossible to touch and staring directly at the sun is blinding. And I’m kind of tired of being with someone who doesn’t actually like me, who doesn’t desire to put any effort into liking me, and whose to scared to say he doesn’t like me because he too scared to deal with any fallout

In real life, not in my bad analogies, it’s situations like now. He’s in a bad mood, but his bad mood lasts for weeks. That’s Pisces for you. But when he’s in a bad mood, he needs a break and silence. But a Pisces doesn’t tell you that. It comes off as being too afraid to hurt you but the truth is that they’re cowards too afraid of both their own emotions and mine.

Anyway, a Pisces doesn’t tell you about the mood, I just see it in how distant he talks and acts. He doesn’t say he needs silence, he just acts really mean. And when Pisces realizes that doesn’t really work on Leo’s, they cave. Withering away. They always come back though. Ngl, a single Instagram post is all it would take to remind him that I could do better.

But I haven’t done that. I haven’t done any of the things I normally do. No blocking, no passive aggressiveness, no excitement over apology begging.

I just can’t stay in something that always feels like an extreme or a passion. These days I want someone who likes me all the time. And I get that it isn’t easy but I feel as if Pisces thinks that love and friendship are a feeling. They just happen naturally and he’s just walking around waiting for an aha moment.

But I don’t think an aha moment will ever happen. I don’t think love and friendship come naturally, you have to try and make it work. I know I’m using star signs to talk about this but tangible relationships take tangible action. If the sun is being too bright, you put on a pair of shades. Not tell it to go away after being a butt for weeks.

Pisces finds me irresistible and I feel the same towards him. It’s a crazy concept but lately I’ve been wondering what it would be like if love to wasnt so compelled? What would it be like if someone actually chose to be around me? And not with me because of some intense force or emotion beyond their control? What if someone was fully in control of who and how they loved and we choose to do that together?

I don’t know if that makes sense OP and I don’t know if it answers your question. But his stuff is packed up. It’s weird because I’ve had this actual box for a while now. I’ve been thinking of doing this for so long and I’ve finally put the stuff in and taped it up. I’ve invited a platonic friend to take his spot on our thanksgiving boat trip. He doesn’t know yet, but we’re not doing thanksgiving this year. I promised his mom pies so I will send them now instead of during the holidays. But keep going? Im not.

It’s really really hard to let go but I mentioned sister wives. I feel like I’ve been mentally and spiritually ending things alone. Like yes he’s being distant now so I have no choice to do it alone. But this isn’t a new feeling and I’ve held it in my mind even when things were going good or even okay.

That being said, OP, exes are sometimes like that. They have a huge rebound period where they b don’t realize how much they miss you until you’re long gone. So maybe time is the answer. Maybe like my Pisces he’s a coward and is running away from the inevitable pain he feel. By then, you’ll be unreachable and it’ll be his turn to deal with it alone.

For now though, imagine he’s hanging over a bowl by a piece of string connected to you. And you cut the string, he falls, a weight Is lifted, and one day, maybe you’ll see him flopping around the bowl you dropped him and laugh because it looks funny

[supercorpkid]

The Runaway Danvers - Part 2

Supergirl, Kara Danvers x Sister!Reader, Alex Danvers x Sister!Reader, Lena Luthor x Reader, Reader insert.

Word Count: 2820.

Part 1.

The thing is, how far is far enough? Because emotionally the three of you couldn’t be further apart. And physically, even when you were right there in National City you still felt like it was far enough since you went months not even seeing them.

It’s absurd, to keep running from your family and not dealing with the situations. You are aware. But it's definitely easier. Get on a plane and go. Easy as that. Another job interview is one call away. Yes, the job at L Corp was amazing, but you don’t need it. You went on years without it, and life was still good enough.

You think, by now, you’re not running from them anymore. You’re running from yourself. They don’t care where you are, clearly. You’re the one who needs more than what they can give you.

So when your plane lands in Paris is decided, you will leave the months you lived in National City behind. You’ll pretend it didn’t happen and the whole situation with Alex and Kara was nothing but a nightmare you had and you never ever have to talk about it again.

But well, your quarrel is with your sisters and not your mom. You think you should tell her where you are. Eliza picks up the phone on the second ring. You show her your view.

“Y/N, sweetheart, where are you?”

“France.” You smile at the camera. “I think it is about time I learn some French and eat delicious croissants for breakfast, don’t you?”

“I think I’d rather have you eating bagels here with me.” Eliza’s face shows you exactly what you’ve been pretending you couldn’t see. She misses you.

“Mom.” You force a smile out. “I’ll hopefully start on the new job soon. You can come visit?”

She blinks at you. It’s not an agreement, it’s a way of saying she doesn’t want to fight, and she knows you will if she suggests you come home, instead.

“Ok, then. I have to start apartment hunting. Hotels in Paris are NOT cheap.” You throw a scarf over your shoulder. “How do I look?”

“Beautiful as always, my sweet girl.”

“I know you’re obligated to say that, but thanks mom. I’ll call you soon, ok?”

“What the hell?” Lena marches in the Tower, and punches Kara’s arms with will.

“Hey!” Kara, who cannot feel any pain, smooths her hand over the attacked place like it’s somehow hurting. “What was that for?”

“You two!” Lena points at Alex next. “I finally found a CFO that I can trust, after Sam. And you two pull out some crazy stunt and make her quit!”

They both look at Lena like they have no idea what she’s talking about. She goes on, annoyed, not to refresh their memories, but to let it out of her system.

“If I had known you would drive her away, I would never have given the two of you her address!”

“Lena! What are you talking about?” Alex stops her rant, before they fall too far behind.

“Oh, really, you don’t know?” They clearly don’t know. “Your sister, Y/N, she quit.” Lena sighs when she looks at both very surprised Danvers. “She said something about having to leave town right when she was going to start working at L Corp.”

“What?” Kara barks.

“Oh, come on!” Alex crosses her arms, outraged. “So she skips town, like she always does, because she is a child, and you’re blaming us?”

“Seriously?” Lena raises one eyebrow at her. “A ‘child’ who has a PhD in finances, a ‘child’ who I was really looking forward to working with. Her PhD thesis is, honestly, brilliant. I might know a lot about science, but that ‘child’ can take L Corp to new places with her brains.”

“Wait, what?”

“Y/N has a PHD?”

They say in unison and exchange a look.

Lena looks at the both of them, confused. “Shit, you don’t know your sister at all, do you? I mean, I absolutely hate my brother, I even killed him once and would possibly do it again. But at least I know everything about him, so I can choose to hate him.”

“We don’t hate Y/N!” Kara exclaims defensively, but there’s no need because Lena knows it’s true. She just met you and she doesn’t think anyone could hate you.

“Besides, that’s not exactly true.” Alex tries to come up with an excuse but there’s none.

“Oh! It's not?” Lena rolls her eyes, pulling out her phone. “Have you ever even tried to google her? ‘Cause I’m not saying anything that you couldn’t have found on the internet. Yet, it sounds like I’m talking about someone else completely.”

“I don’t go around googling people, Lena.” Kara says and Lena furrows her brows at her.

“You’re a reporter. It’s literally what you do all day.” They both have a stare down. Lena huffs, sitting on the high stool, looking at the Danvers sisters across the table. “Ok, listen. I know this is a family thing. I knew the moment she walked in and I didn’t immediately recognize her as one of the Danvers, no matter how long I’m friends with both of you. And I know a thing or two about family drama.”

“There’s no drama.” Alex says and Kara snaps her head up at her in disagreement. “We’re just not close.”

“Yeah, ok. Whatever you say. I have literally nothing to do with it, except that I lost an employee that I was really looking forward to working with. But just so you both know, your sister is brilliant and she doesn’t look like a bald sociopath ready to destroy Earth to get rid of aliens.” Lena smiles at Kara, who gives her a trying smile. She reaches for her hand, and Kara holds it tenderly. “You went on too long without her. Maybe you missed more than you cared to admit?”

Lena is right. As much as they want to argue with her, they can’t. She is annoyingly right, which makes both of them annoyingly wrong by default.

“Oh.” Alex says, when she sees Kara on the balcony, exactly where she thought she would have a safe place to think. “Didn’t know you were out here.”

“Just thinking.” Kara admits, and Alex raises her glass of whiskey.

“Same.”

They fall into a weird silence.

“You’re thinking about Y/N, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Alex agrees sitting on the floor, back on the ledge. “I’m just thinking about what Lena said. How we don’t know our sister at all. I wanted to fight her on it, because how could I not know my own sister? The one I saw growing up, changed diapers, went to school plays…”

Kara sits next to her, letting out a sigh. “But we can’t argue, can we? We don’t know her anymore. We know this child, and she does not exist in the same way.”

“She doesn’t.” Alex breathes out, laying her head on Kara’s shoulder. “Yet, I called her a child. Said she needed to grow up.”

“So she left. Again.”

“Man, mom is gonna kill us when she hears that her baby daughter was finally back here and we pushed her away.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell Eliza just yet. Maybe we should find Y/N first and bring her back. She still has the job at L Corp if she wants to.”

“Do you think she would?” Alex's eyes light up with hope. “Come back with us, I mean.”

“I don’t know, but we owe it to her to try, don’t you think?

“Let's find her.”

You were found. It’s the first thought you have when you see Supergirl up in the sky, in her power pose. No way she came all the way over here to fight. You lived in Germany for years, and you don’t remember ever getting a Supergirl visit.

“Y/N.” Kara lands in front of you. There’s people around you, cameras ready. You sigh.

“I’m late to an interview, Supergirl.” You move past her, and away from the cameras. She follows you close-by.

“Don’t go.” You turn around to look at her in shock. “Please, please peanut, come back to National City with us.”

You shiver. It’s probably cold and not the memories of being called peanut. Yeah, sure. It’s not because you distinctly remember Alex saying you were the peanut, Kara was the butter, and she was the jelly, and that’s why the three of you always liked that sandwich so badly.

“No, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to show up here, halfway across the globe and call me ‘peanut’, and think what? I’m just going to jump in your arms and let you fly me back there?” Kara tries to hold your hand so you can stop. You push her away. “Where were you when Alex was calling me a child? I don’t remember you calling me peanut back then.”

“I’m sorry.” She tries, but you scoff, untrusting. “I am. I’m so sorry, and Alex is too!”

“Oh please.” You adjust your bag on your shoulder, walking faster. “Go home, I’m done. I can’t get caught up in this all over again.”

“Y/N.” She tries, with her sweet Kara voice and blue doe-eyed, that made you love her the second she walked in your home in Midvale. You breathe out.

“I need this job, Kara. Will you please let me move on with my life as well as you did with yours?” You stop when you reach where you were heading to. “I really hope you have a good life, ie*. But this is where we part.” [*sister]

You finally lose Kara when you make your way inside the building. You breathe deep when you’re alone inside the elevator, and wipe one tear that fell without your consent.

You did the right thing, sending Kara away, and you know it. But still, as soon as you let that kryptonian word out from your mouth, your throat closed and your eyes were filled with tears instantly.

When Kara first came to your house, she could understand everything you all were saying, but she insisted on replying in kryptonese for a while. You were the only one who understood why. Alex thought she was just being annoying about it, and trying to make you all confused. But you knew better. She needed something from Krypton. Something only she had that no one would be able to take away. So you learned a few words to make her feel more welcomed. And by ‘few words’, you learned how to say: sister. You’re safe (because she consistently had nightmares). And I love you.

How novel of you.

The interview could’ve gone better. You weren’t exactly focused, but you have a good curriculum and you hope it will speak for itself. So when you leave, you make your way to the first bar you see open to drink this day away.

When you stumble your way back to the hotel, you have a girl with you, and you’re ready to put this whole thing to bed. Talk about being young and dumb in Paris, baby.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” You whisper in her ear, opening your bedroom door, and kissing her neck at the same time. You two stumble inside, until she lets out a scream. “WHAT?”

You look to where she is looking and can’t even believe your eyes.

“I think we’re in the wrong room.” She whispers in your ear, and you roll your eyes to the uninvited presences in your hotel bedroom.

“We’ve, um, been here a while.” Kara says, looking really uncomfortable, and you don’t even want to think about what Alex is thinking right now. You can’t believe you’ve actually let Alex see you making out with a girl.

“This is a nightmare.” You grunt, frustrated, looking back at the girl. “Sorry, those are my sisters. They came here completely uninvited, but I have to deal with this now. I’m really sorry.”

She leaves, and you close your bedroom door, still not believing your eyes.

“Sorry, we didn’t think you would…” Kara trails off.

“Be making out with a girl you don’t know, three days after having sex with a guy you didn’t know the name.”

“Alex.” Kara warns her and OH MY GOD, no! You cannot do this again! You cannot have a part 2 of that fight in a hotel room halfway across the globe after you specifically ran from it.

“Are you serious? You flew all the way to France to pick another fight?” You want to sit on the bed, but it’s a few steps away and you can’t get closer, so you just throw yourself back on the wall and slide down until you’re seated. “You won. Didn’t you realize? You went there and you called me a child and a runner, so I proved you right. I ran. I’m here in another country and then you come all the way over here…” You can’t talk because there are tears springing from your eyes, and your nose feels stuffy.

“I’m not here to fight.” Alex finally says.

“Then what are you doing here, Alex? Why can’t the two of you forget about me like you’ve done all these years?”

“Because we never did, Y/N!” She yells back. You furrow your brows, not believing. “Jesus, you actually believe that I never thought about you for years? That I didn’t want to call and tell you I missed you? That I didn’t think about you every time I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?”

You can’t answer. There’s no answer, because yeah, sure, you believe her. Because how many times have you thought about her making jokes about your parents to protect you from your father’s disappearance? How many times have you thought about calling when you watched old cartoons you used to see together? How many years have you gone on without eating PB and jelly sandwiches for this reason right here?

But every time you picked up the phone to call you just thought she didn’t need you. That Kara was right there. That she went on without you.

“When you moved to Colombia, I wasn’t Supergirl…” Kara starts, and you look up to her as she comes closer. “But I couldn’t fathom the thought that you were living there alone so I flew there every single night for two months to make sure you were safe. Then, I saw that you were doing alright. Actually, I saw that you were thriving. Being away from Midvale, from us, did you so good. Rao, your skin was glowing!”

“Well, it’s sunnier in Colombia.”

Kara gives you a half smile. “I’ve never stopped checking on you, Y/N. I just- I just never wanted to pull you back into something that hurt you.”

You clean your tears, finally standing up. It takes a few breaths for you to be able to talk again.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I-We,” Kara corrects herself after one look at Alex. “Realized that sometimes sisters hurt each other when they are close. But they hurt each other a lot more when they’re far apart.”

“Y/N, it’s your choice and we’ll understand and respect whatever you decide, but we want to make up for the lost time. We’ve grown up, you’ve grown up, we all changed.” Alex says and one year falls from your eye. It’s insane that she can finally admit that you’re not a child anymore. “And we want to get to know you again.”

“You-you do?” They agree with their heads and you mimic their actions.

“Lena still wants you working at L Corp, you’ll have money for a great new apartment, but you know, while you don’t find one, you can stay with me.” Kara suggests and you bite your lip, imagining. “It will be great to bunk together again!”

“Yeah, or you can come stay with me and my girlfriend, Kelly.”

You furrow your brows at her. “Really? You’re gay?” She shakes her head, excited. “And were giving me a hard time on the chick I brought here?”

“Not because of her! She was hot, by the way, well done.” Alex says and your eyes widen. Ok, you did not see this conversation taking this turn. “Just, you deserve someone who knows you and loves you. Not just random hookups.”

“Ok, that’s another conversation!” Kara stops her. “One that we can have once she comes back to National City with us.”

“What do you say, peanut?”

It’s a no brainer, to be honest. The answer was on the tip of your tongue all this time, you just needed the question.

“Let’s go home. I’ve been dying for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for years now.”

[unoriginalmess]

Untitled Feralnette Fic Ch. 1

Hiya there anyone who happens upon this first chapter of this fic. I would like to start out by saying that this is my first fanfic ever. I've been wanting to write a fic for the miraculous fandom for a while but I haven't had any inspiration until I stumbled upon this glorious AU created by @bigfatbreak. I highly suggest checking out all of their posts about this au because they are hilarious and genius and about 100 other amazing adjectives that could be used to describe them and their posts. Anyways enough with my rant and let's get on with the fic. ⚠️Slight angst⚠️ ⚠️Swearing⚠️

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When Marinette got home after her and Luka's breakup, all she could do was cry. She wanted to be with him, but her Ladybug duties came first. If lying is a deal breaker for him, then maybe it was best that they ended it now while their relationship was still in its early stages. Still, she couldn't help but feel the loss of her first relationship. She ended up crying for a whole entire day. She just hoped that Hawkmoth(or Shadowmoth or whatever the fuck he wanted to be referred to as this week) wasn't feeling particularly akuma-y today, because she didn't know if she could bottle up all these feelings, even though the world is relying on her ability to do so.

Ugggghhh!! It has been exhausting having to be "happy and perfect Marinette" and "happy and perfect Ladybug" All. The. Time. She's also pretty sure that Hawkmoth had discovered the similarities in her personality as Marinette to Ladybug, and that's why she's been targeted by multiple akumas lately. She has had to have her emotions under control even more than usual. If only there was a way to get Hawkmoth to stop targeting her. Maybe she should just not give a fuck anymore. Haha as if! It couldn't be that easy! Could it?

The more she thinks about it the more it starts to make sense. If she just let herself go completely crazy as Marinette, she would be killing like 10 birds with one stone. She would get hawkmoth off of her trail, she wouldn't have to deal with having to hide her emotions all of the time, she wouldn't have to deal with the added stress of maintaining her perfect persona, she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of Lila's lies taking her friends away if she didn't have friends in the first place, and so much more stress would be taken off of her plate! It was perfect! It might hurt a little at first, but it's for the best in the end. She spent that night planning out her outfit for tomorrow, doing her homework, and going to sleep knowing that, in the morning, François Dupont isn't gonna know what hit them.

....

Adrien Agreste had been having a rough week. He had been abandoned on patrol by ladybug, been broken up with by his girlfriend, and was feeling completely and utterly alone. He knows that his lady has been feeling overwhelmed by her guardian duties lately, and that he 100% deserved that verbal lasting that kagami had given him but he couldn't help but feel this way. He was also feeling guilty about lying to kagami and leading her on for so long. After she broke up with him he took some time to assess his feelings for her and realized that he had more of an admiration for her than an infatuation. He definitely didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him. She told him that she LOVED HIM, and he was so distracted (blinded) by ladybug that he didn't even process her confession. So, he was looking forward to Sunday morning. He cleared his schedule and on that beautiful Sunday morning, he did what he is only allowed to do on very rare occasions: sleep in. Or at least... thats what he had planned on doing.

When Nathalie had knocked on his door that morning Adrien was not in a good mood. He vaguely heard her say something about father wanting him downstairs in some amount of time for something involving a business partners child and some other robotic sounding words that his half asleep brain couldn't process completely.

"I have a cleared schedule this morning, Nathalie. What could father possibly want me for that is more important than my precious sleep?" He asked snappily.

"Your father wants you downstairs to welcome the new guest that will be living in the house for the rest of the school year. You have 15 minutes to make yourself look presentable and I suggest leaving the attitude upstairs," she half informed/half reprimanded him. As she walked away, Adrien reluctantly rose from his nice warm bed and went to go get ready with only one thought racing through his mind: Who could possibly be staying with them?

....

Felix Culpa was not looking forward to living at the Agreste mansion for the rest of the school year, but for their parents' sake they would do what they had to. It wasn't all for their parents either, they were also concerned about the strange "dissapearance" of Emilie (who was his aunt in all ways except blood relation) and about the treatment of Adrien since said "disappearance".

You see, Felix Culpa is the heir to the Culpa Fabric Empire. The Culpas have been the sole fabric supplier of the Agreste brand since the very beginning. Felix's mom Diana was best friends with Emilie since their college days. Diana and Emilie made the deal with the two brands because as best friends who are both involved in the same industry, it just made sense to have a business relationship with each other. Diana never really cared for Gabriel as a person, but she could tell that he loved Emilie more than anyone else in the world so she could tolerate him for the sake of her best friend.

When Emilie went missing, Diana was absolutely devastated and tried anything she could to find her. She invested in missing person ads as large as billboards, organized search teams, tried to aid the police in their search for her in any way she could, but there was no leads, no legitimate calls to the number on the billboards, and the search team came up empty handed. While she was doing all of this to try to find her, she couldn't help but be furious over the fact that Gabriel was doing nothing to help in the search. All he did was hole himself up in his oversized mansion and call it a day.

The last straw for Diana was when Gabriel tried to use the "grieving my wife" excuse to try to abuse their business arrangement. That day, she told him that the Culpa brand would no longer be associated with the Agreste brand and that after the new collection is released, he would need to find a new fabric supplier. She knew that the Agreste brand would take a huge hit from having sub-par fabric, but she never thought that Gabriel would try to make up for that fact by using Adrien as a walking mannequin and locking him up in the desolate prison that he calls a home. As soon as she realized that he was doing this she scrambled to find a solution.

That is how Felix ended up here, standing in front of the mansion they would be living in for the next 9 months in exchange for Gabriel getting back into the Culpa brand's good graces. Don't get them wrong, they were excited about being able to be in Paris, home of the most innovative fashion pieces in the world, and about being able to see their honorary cousin Adrien (who wasn't half bad to be around despite him having no backbone whatsoever when it came to anything involving his father) but dealing with Mr. Agreste was definitely one of the low points of this arrangement.

They decided to just get it over with and knocked on the door. It was opened by the man that their cousin affectionately referred to as Gorilla. They nodded a thank you to the man, remembering that he was a man of few words, and proceeded to the bottom of the staircase. Mr. Agreste stood at the top with a very tired looking Adrien a few steps down. Felix wasn't even slightly surprised that this is where he chooses to welcome his guests, looking down on people must give him some sort of power trip or something. It's almost as if he heard the phrase "It's over, Anakin, I have the high ground," and made that his own personal motto. Whatever, let him have the feeling of false power if he wanted it, Felix knows that they have all the power in this situation and they're sure that Gabriel knows it as well.

"Hello Felix," Mr. Agreste greeted them with the same amount of warmth in his voice as liquid nitrogen, "while you are staying in this house you will abide by my rules. Adrien will inform you of them and show you to your room. You will attend school with him in the morning and I'm sure that you already know that you must represent not only the Culpa brand, but also the Agreste as well. I will be in my office working, do not disturb me. Contact Nathalie with any questions that cannot be answered by Adrien." He finished his spiel and left to what Felix assumed was his office space.

"Hello Felix!" Adrien greeted him with as much enthusiasm as he could muster in his sleepy state. "Come with me and I'll show you to your room."

Adrien led Felix to their room and listed all of the rules of the household that they were expected to follow. And... wow. Felix could not believe that their cousin had to live like this. The only social interaction this kid gets is at school and fencing? Pre-approved outings only with people determined socially acceptable by Gabriel? And if he gets even one "B" he isn't even going to be allowed to go to school at all? Felix knew that the living situation was bad for Adrien but know the only question running through their head was: What did they get themselves into??

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And... thats it for chapter 1! Mostly background info at this point, but next chapter will be the class' reaction to feralnette and felinette meeting for the first time. I just want to say thanks again to @bigfatbreak for giving me the inspiration to write a fic for the first time ever. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, I'm always looking to improve, especially at writing since this is my first time posting anything I've written online, so I want to get better so that I can make better content for you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know and I'll make a tag list for ya. :)