#and Parker is like. the most basic as hell last name lmao

[jaredthebc]

I need to draw ref sheets for artfight but also ough I wanna make a spider-sona after seeing so many people make them for across the spider verse

Especially since fun fact I chose Peter as one of my names because my last name is Parker. I'm literally Peter Parker

[pemfrost]

For the bingo what about spideydevil hogwarts AU . Good luck on your bingo!!

Thank you if you do it.

Thanks for the prompt :D

So, this is like 3 times longer than I wanted to make these bingo fics lmao. Oops 🤷‍♀️. It still could use some polishing, but I'm terrified that Peter will find another plot thread if I poke at it anymore.

Bingo fic 1/?

As much as he devoted himself to studying, Peter could not bring himself to care about Divination. The whole class reminded him of cringe inducing hacks he'd seen on t.v. growing up. Except, no one was jumping out with hidden footage to debunk it. Everything appeared hollow: randomness assigned meaning. And, while Peter didn't often procrastinate, he found it harder and harder to work on his Divination homework the more weeks that passed. 

There was one silver lining, though. Another student, one he'd held a torch for from afar, was in the class with him. That too, turned out to be hollow and meaningless until today. Despite having a class together, Peter still had no real reason to approach Matt. However, he stumbled into the opportunity in his usual Parker way: completely on accident. 

His procrastination on his Divination assignments reached a plateau, and, despite his ability to work quickly under pressure, Peter was late to class. When he'd finally made it -ten minutes late and scribbling the last lines on his essay- he'd thought the repercussion would be a lecture. Or detention. The usual stuff Hogwarts professors liked to through his way.

Instead, the professor welcomed him to class in her airy way and quietly assigned him a partner for the project she was currently guiding the class through. "Ah, Mr. Murdock, please join Peter for the remainder of class." 

By stoke of luck, Matthew Murdock had been an unlucky third wheel in another group, and made no fuss about changing seats. His usual partner was in the infirmary; the exact cause was the subject of many rumors. Peter was rather fond of the theory that Foggy was involved in a fight with the group of slytherins who often tired to bully Matt, but anyone involved was keeping their lips zipped tight. 

It wasn't a glamorous impression, but Peter was thankful for the opportunity. 

"Do you know what you're doing?" Matt crossed his ankle over his knee and leaned back in the cozy chair across from Peter. He nodded to the steaming cup of tea in front of him, raising an eyebrow. 

Peter nodded, then mentally kicked himself and verbally answered, "Yeah. I read over the basics last night." 

It was a basic tea leaf reading, and the set up was quite straightforward. The professor was kind enough to provide hot water and a selection of tea leaves at each table. Though, she did note they would have a better reading with their own supplies. 

"Good. I started my tea already, so you can read mine while yours-"

"Mr. Murdock." The professor tapped the cup in front of him with her wand. "You must start over. The leaves are easier for your partner to interpret when they are brewed just for them." With a flick of her wand, his cup was replaced with an empty one and she glided off towards another set of students. 

Matt sighed and reached for the tea selection, deftly selected Earl Grey and pinched a healthy amount of leaves into his cup. Peter followed suit, choosing one at random without reading the labels.

"Don't you care for tea?" Matt's gaze was slightly to the left of where Peter sat, his face not giving away his thoughts. 

"I do, I'm just not picky." His pulse quickened. This was the most they'd spoken in years. He watched Matt's hands as he poured the hot water into their cups, tracing the calluses earned from long hours in the greenhouse. 

"Now we wait." Matt sat the pot back to the side of the table and leaned back in his chair. 

The tea would need to steep for at least three minutes. There were many things to do during that time to ensure a good reading, or so the professor said. Holding the cup and thinking about what you wanted the leaves to tell you seemed like a good option, but Peter really didn't believe in fortune telling enough to meditate over his tea. Another method was to talk to the person who was going to do your reading. And the third, and one Matt seemed keen on, was to silently wait and let what happens happen. 

In Peter's opinion, silence was something to be broken

"Uh," Peter shifted nervously as watched the steam rise from his cup, "how is Foggy? That was a hell of a match last night, shame he missed it."

"He's fine." Matt's voice was flat. "He should be discharged in time for dinner."

"That's… good to hear." Peter eyed him nervously. Matt was a year ahead of him and in a different house, meaning they had very few direct interactions. Yet, Peter knew a good amount about him. Or, rather, he knew what the Daily Prophet said and what he'd observed with his own eyes didn't always match and had drawn his own conclusions. 

Coming from a muggle family meant Peter had very little frame of reference for most things, and he could only try to compare having an Auror as a father to having one who was a cop. Matt was a third year when his father was targeted by a group of dark wizards and Matt was caught in the crossfire. 

Peter, always in search of knowledge, desperately wanted to know which curse caused Matt to lose his vision, and which spells gave him a sense of the world around him. As far as he could tell there was no braille equivalent in the Wizarding World. He didn't ask, of course. He had more sense than that, even in the pursuit of knowledge. He wanted to know Matt first, because he seemed like a cool -and handsome- guy.

Even if he was callous enough to just ask, it wasn't like he had many opportunities to do so. This was actually their first class together in Peter's six years at Hogwarts- and would be the only one since Matt would be graduating in a few months. 

Despite having no real social interactions, Peter was well aware of Matt, and would have been even if his story wasn't in the papers for months. The very first time Peter stepped foot into Hogwarts, he was so enthralled with the majesty and magic of the castle -- until he spotted Matt. It was silly, and, even though Peter couldn't name the sensation back then, that moment stuck with him. 

Peter had read everything he could prior to entering Hogwarts, dreading being behind his peers who grew up in the Wizarding World. His heart was set on Ravenclaw, drawn in by the lure of knowledge and like-minded students. That was until he locked eyes with Matt from across the hall and, for a brief moment, yearned to be adorned in red and gold. Reason won, and he was proud to be sorted into Ravenclaw. But, part of him always wondered. 

"Thank you." Matt's voice jolted him from his reminiscing. 

Peter wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve thanks, so he deflected with a joke. "Hey, I'd be thankful too if someone rescued me from the 'Dream Couple'. More like 'Most Annoying Couple'." He tapped his index finger on the table towards students Matt was originally teamed with, rolling his eyes at how closely they sat together.

A small chuckle escaped Matt and Peter's chest puffed with pride. Matt was such a serious person, he hardly ever smiled or laughed, and then it was almost exclusively with Foggy. 

"For that, too, I suppose. I meant to thank you for being the only person in this class… probably the school… who hasn't ask me… about… it."

Oh. Peter looked away, embarrassed by how many questions he truly wanted to ask while simultaneously reeling from the fact Matt apparently paid enough attention to notice. "It's not my business. Besides, there's way more things I'd like to pick your brain about."

Matt raised an eyebrow, "Like?"

Peter opened his mouth to list off a litany of botany questions, but was cut off before he managed a single syllable. The professor stared down at them, "It's been long enough, time to drink your tea, be sure to do your rotations. Read the leaves immediately, take notes on your findings before looking up their meanings. Then, give your reading to your partner. Ideally, you will know each common symbol by heart by the end of the term, but for now use your books."

They dropped the conversation, following her instructions and downing their tea. Peter was pleased with his random choice, noting hints of citrus. 

"Here," he pushed his empty cup towards Matt. As he took Matt's cup, he wondered how Matt would read his leaves, but didn't ask. 

Peter peered into Matt’s cup, trying to find patterns in the chaos of leaves. Eventually, his eyes focused on the task and he could make out what he thought were symbols. He wrote down his list and set the cup and notebook on the table. 

Across from him, Matt was focused on Peter's cup. He ran his wand over it, then his hand, then with a flick of his wand his quill automatically made a note. 

"You'll have to teach me that sometime," Peter said before he could stop himself. 

Matt paused, lips pursed.

Peter continued, "If I could direct my quill to write, it would save a lot of time when I'm trying new potion ingredient substitutes. The constant starting and stopping to note every step and change I make is such a juggle."

"That's pretty dangerous," Matt said with an amused lilt to his voice. "Though, I suppose teaching you that would make it slightly more safe."

"Yea, it would be negligent for you not to," Peter's heart raced as he teased the handsome student across from him. 

"We should probably do the readings." Matt shifted, "But we'll figure out a time that we're both free, yeah?"

Peter nodded, "Yeah."

"I'll start, if that's okay."

"Uh, yeah. Did you need to look up your symbols? 'Cuz I have no idea what some of these mean."

Matt heaved a large reference book into his lap, "I'm doing it on the fly. Let's see…" He waved his wand over the pages and ran his index finger over the text. 

Peter didn't put much stock into fortune telling, but he was curious what Matt would read in the leaves. 

"So, your leaves are interesting. There is a small ring or letter 'O' at the top, so either a love interest is close or you have something important with someone with an 'O' name." He continued on without waiting for Peter's reaction or input, "There is a spider that spans both the present and future, which could mean you have a choice to make soon which will have a huge impact on your life. But, there is a smaller thing that could be a spider, too? So maybe you have a lot of choices to make?"

Peter shrugged. The close love interest piqued his interest, though he was more curious what Matt would say about it. Maybe he would be given a beacon of hope, a sign that Matt noticed him too. 

"Ah, and this at the bottom! It's a very clear anchor, meaning a stable future." Matt tilted his head towards Peter, "You do not seem impressed with your reading."

"Nothing personal, I just don't think these things are more than carnival tricks and fun games."

"Fair enough," Matt chuckled and set his notes to the side, folded his arms on the table and leaned in. "Now mine."

Right, Peter had to figure out Matt's. He pulled out his own book and looked over the page of symbols. "Well, let's start with what I know without reading paragraphs of contradictory symbology. So, there is a ring -or 'O'- at the bottom and it's pretty big. Future relationship? Or someone with an 'O' name? And there is a smaller one of the same in the present."

He paused to look at his notes. "Uh… I think this is a ladder? Which means travel in your future. And a Knife in the future meaning a fight. Umm, I wrote down a snake, but it could be a worm? Which… is a bad omen or a secret enemy."

Peter glanced up at Matt, and was about to apologize for accidentally reading a bad future for him when the Professor approached their table. 

"Ah, let's take a look, then, shall we?" She gently plucked Peter's tea cup up from in front of Matt and swept her eyes over the leaves. "Oh, my. You have a small romantic notion towards someone that has lasted a while but hasn't grown into anything more. You have several challenges which will appear in the near future and your decision to take them on or ignore them will drastically shape your life. Those choices are why a lot of your future is fuzzy, but if you remain true to yourself there is great prosperity and even greater love waiting for you."

She looked over Matt's notes and pointed out the symbols he missed. Peter sighed, he was ready for the class to end. At least he had his study not-date with Matt to look forward to. 

"Let's have a look at the other one," She said as she lifted Matt's cup from where Peter set it. "You have a recent romantic notion, it is small and very new, but you will have a journey before it can grow. There are a lot of small victories in your future, but they can be overshadowed by betrayal. I see a powerful romance in the future, but it could be lost if you're not careful."

Matt seemed to hang on every word, but quickly folded his arms when the Professor finished her own reading. Was he taking it seriously? Peter made a note to ask later. There were some interesting parallels between their readings, giving Peter a sliver of hope of his feelings being returned despite the absurdity of fortune telling. 

"Overall, not bad for your first times. Keep studying, there will be a practical component to the final." With that, she drifted towards another group, leaving Peter and Matt to clean up. 

"You're a muggleborn, aren't you?" Matt wasn't looking at him, but Peter could feel the weight of his attention pinning him to his chair. "Foggy is too," Matt added quickly, "and has the same opinions on this," he waved his hand generally. 

"Ah, yea. It's a bit… "

"I get it. Don't worry, no judgment here. Still, the reading was a bit uncanny."

Peter huffed. "It's easy to assign meaning to a vague set of events."

"Is that so?" Matt tilted his head. 

"We're teens, so it's not uncommon to have a crush. And everyone has a journey at some point, or choices to make. That's life. And it's not unusual to get married later in your life."

"True." He calmly began to clean the table. A swish of his wand and his cup was clean. "So, you do not deny liking someone."

Well, that was unexpected. Peter sputtered, searching for a string of words to put together as his pulse raced. "I- well- that's- I-"

Matt had the audacity to laugh at him, and the sound alone was almost enough to make Peter's embarrassment worth it. Almost. "Why so embarrassed, I thought it wasn't uncommon?"

Peter busied himself with clearing his side of the table. "So, you're not denying it yourself?" He leaned into the hope the conversation sparked, imagining his feelings being returned. Tea leaves be damned, Peter made his own fate, and if he was given the chance there was no amount of future-telling that could ruin what he felt for Matt.

Their conversation dropped when the professor requested everyone's attention for a short lecture before the end of class. It was important information they would need for their test, but Peter's attention drifted to Matt. By the upward tilt of Matt’s lips, he was well aware of Peter's distraction. 

There was a flurry of activity after class, and Peter didn't have any chance to speak with him further. However, Matt was true to his word and sought Peter out over the weekend. The weather was fair, creating the perfect opportunity to study together outside and away from the prying eyes of their classmates. They found a shaded area and set up their makeshift study session under the shade of a tree.

"I think I got it." Peter waved his wand over a fresh piece of parchment, whispering the spell Matt taught him. The tree bark dug into his back, and Matt’s cologne was distracting, but he could feel the tingle of the spell working. His quill sprung to work, jotting down a few lines of potion ingredients before sputtering out and falling to the page. As it rolled to the side, he sighed and leaned his head against the tree. 

"It takes practice to keep it writing longer, but you've done more than I expected for your first lesson. You really are every bit the genius they say."

"People talk about me?" Peter was top of his class, but he didn't think his grades warranted discussion with the 7th years. 

Matt shrugged and knocked his shoulder into Peter's. "I may have asked around."

Peter's heart somersaulted. "Oh? What, uh, else did 'they' say?"

"That you're a smart ass."

Peter nodded and leaned towards Matt, "Go on."

"Peter…" Matt's breath ghosted over his cheek sending a thrill up his spine. 

"Matt…" Peter continued forward, gently pressing his lips against Matt's. For a brief moment, Matt pressed back; then suddenly there was a large distance between them. 

Peter's lips felt cold. 

"Sorry. I-"

"Don't be, I-I kissed you." Peter fumbled to put his quill and notebook into his bag. "I thought-"

"Peter." Matt's voice was soft, unsure. "It wouldn't be fair to you."

Peter stared down at his notes, trying to make sense of what Matt was saying. 

"I graduate in a few months." He held up a hand when Peter started to protest, "and I've just been accepted into a school in Germany. I leave right after graduation to get a head start with their summer law program."

"But-"

"We would have an expiration date, Peter." Matt's eyes were closed. There was a rigidness to his posture which made Peter suspect there was more he wasn't saying. 

"Ok. Then just friends."

Matt inhaled sharply, like he hadn't expected Peter's reaction. "Friends. Yea, I'd like that."

With that, they settled into a rhythm for the rest of the school year. Studying together when time allowed, ignoring the tension between them whenever they accidentally touched. Whenever the tightness in his chest returned, Peter reminded himself of their tea readings and imagined a future where they shared a happy ending.

----

Woo, thanks for reading!

There is a part two I'm working on where they reunite as professors several years later. I actually started that first then switched gears when Peter made a reference to their past. Hopefully I'll finish it soon so it's not so much of a cliffhanger lol. 

[sergeanttpoliteness]

are requests open 🥺 apparantly in the 20s it was slang to call someone's bf daddy, given that can we get a reader who's from another dimension getting all blushy when noir mentions it given the context of it now?

hello, nonnie! so sorry it took me almost a week to get to this! thank you for the request, love :) you have no idea how much writing that sentence made me squirm from embarrassment

——-

➹jealousy➹(spider-noir x reader)

Peter isn’t one to get jealous, or at least that’s what he tries to tell himself. He doesn’t mind your ex who doesn’t seem to get ‘no’ for an answer. It’s the truth, he swears… right?

word count: 2.5k

a/n: this isn’t sponsored by starburst ™, lmao. anyway, y’all really like spider-noir, huh. i kinda played myself when i included both peter’s in this, ahaa, i tried my best to make it as least confusing as possible. i’m sorry, ily.

warnings: annoying ex, mild jealousy (i mean, it’s the title lol)

——-

You slowly drew the blinds of the window, and in spite of your speculations which you were nearly a hundred percent confident in, your eyes grew bigger as soon as you got a glimpse of the scene unfolding outside of Aunt May’s house. Shortly after, Miles and Peter B. Parker (you had to admit, the amount of Peter’s in your life truly scrambled your brain sometimes) joined you, and the three of you squeezed close together, attempting to look through the small slit without attracting much attention.

You had the urge to take your phone out of your pocket and start recording a video to send all your friends, for this was a spectacle that you weren’t sure you’d ever have the pleasure of witnessing ever again in your lifetime: a drunk man standing in the front yard, passionately belting out the lyrics of a song to the closed door of the house. “Did he, like, get the wrong house?” Miles muttered, his heart thumping fast as the young man noticed all three of you and pointed directly at you. 

“Please! Don’t leave me!” He cried out.

You took one last look at him before you retreated from the window, pinching the bridge of your nose. “No. That’s my ex.” You sighed, questioning why you ever were attracted to the boy as his tragic performance continued. Peter B. laughed and you closed your eyes, ashamed.

“That’s your ex?! The ex?” Yes, this was, in fact, not the first time they heard about your ex-boyfriend. The number of stories you had was inevitable since the train wreck of a relationship lasted two years, after all. Whilst he now went on to voice the instruments of the song, worry began to seep within everyone when you all simultaneously came upon the realization that somehow the jerk had discovered where you were staying during the weekend. Although you’d been like a daughter to May since you were a kid, you were aware she would not be content with you once she returned from her trip and heard that you failed in your basic task of taking care of her home and her address now belonged as part of a stalker’s knowledge.

Peter B. glanced at you, frowning. “You want me to go and talk to him?”

You appreciated his offer, and your inner voice urged you to cave into the most effortless way out of the situation; however, your eyes moved to the hallway, and another concern, more potent and persuasive, drowned it out. “Thanks, dude, but don’t worry, I’ve got it,” You smiled at him, albeit you weren’t entirely certain about that statement. “Just… you guys go and distract Peter and make sure he doesn’t find out my ex is here, or else…”

Eight months. From December up till August, you’d known the third Peter Parker in your life for eight months. In the fourth month, April, you recognized your true intentions and feelings. In the fifth month, you finally acted upon them, and made the first move. At last, June, the sixth month, rolled in, and Peter built up the courage to make things official. All those months possessed two constant factors: your ever-growing connection and… your ex.

One of the many characteristics you were thankful for and adored in Peter was his control over his jealousy. No fingerprints of possessiveness nor suffocating authority smeared your relationship, regardless of your distance, Peter’s background, the exasperating cameos of your ex-boyfriend, or that you’d expressed to him you didn’t want anyone other than the “spider-gang” (as Peter B. had named it) to know about you two being together since— well, how in the world were you supposed to explain where he came from?

You felt irrational and absurd once the thought passed through your head, but sometimes you wondered if Peter worried too little. The origin of said thought could be traced back to when you weren’t quite dating yet, and your ex booty-called you in the midst of your first date. Peter’s amused expression at your own embarrassed one puzzled you, yet you chose not to think much about it and instead were glad it didn’t send the evening down the wrong trail. The thought reappeared a second instant one month into your relationship, though, after you showed him a large bouquet of flowers, a poem attached to it that could be offensive to those who practiced the art and with your ex’s handwriting. Again, nothing; later, you two found yourselves mocking the failed poetry and the odd comparison of your adorableness to that of E.T.’s (you really had no explanation for that one).

However, the suspicion that perhaps he was too good at hiding his feelings arose when a week earlier, you got a phone call from your ex begging you to escape with him to Iceland. That was the first time you saw it: the hint of irritation in Peter’s stiff body and tense jaw. Minutes later, you blocked the phone number— an action way too long overdue, before things became strained.

You closed the front door behind you and approached the drunk man, resolute on preventing the two men from meeting each other and getting under each other’s skin as you clenched your fists closed. “I forgot to say out loud, how beautiful you really are to me!” Your ex sang, a smirk breaking out on his face when he saw your clear annoyance. “I can’t be without! You’re my perfect little punching bag—”

“Matt, what the hell are you doing?”

He quirked a brow, giving you a once-over. “Serenading you?” Matt said as if it were obvious. You rolled your eyes and scowled at him, keeping a significant distance between the two of you.

“No, I mean, how did you find me?”

“I followed you.”

Fear and disgust crawled all over your skin. You took a step back, narrowing your eyes. “Listen, I really don’t want to get in trouble, okay? So for the last time, please stop calling me—”

“But this isn’t a phone call.”

“Or following me.” You finished. He stumbled forward, shaking his head vigorously.

“But I love you,” He sniffed, wiping the one mediocre tear making its way down his cheek. You could feel a groan forming in your throat from his idiocy and child-like attitude; you couldn’t believe he was fucking crying.

You crossed your arms across your chest, unimpressed. “Well, I don’t.” His shift from sadness to anger caught you off guard.

“Bullshit, I know you still love me. I know you miss me,” Matt pointed an accusing finger at you, advancing closer. “Stop playing hard to get and let’s just, l-let’s just go back to normal—”

You laughed in disbelief, your mouth ajar. “Playing hard to get? How is this playing hard to get?!”

Meanwhile, Miles and Peter B. stood in front of Peter, blocking him from leaving the hallway as he remained in between the two and the bathroom door. “So, whatcha think?” Miles asked him, ogling the man. Peter bit again the yellow Starburst and chewed for a while, eyes squinted while he analyzed the flavor. He swallowed and looked down at the wrapper in the palm of his hand, nodding.

“I like it. I think it may be my favorite.”

“What? No way, try the pink flavor again,” Miles took out a pink squared candy from the bag and held it up to Peter’s face. “It’s the best.”

Peter B. shook his head in disagreement and stared down at Miles, scrunching his brows together. “What do you mean? Red is the best.” Miles, now distracted, dropped his arm by his side and showed him a face of utter disgust.

“Do your taste buds even work? Everyone I know says pink is best.”

“Do your dimension’s taste buds work? You’re totally wrong, bud.”

Peter pocketed the wrapper, shrugging. “Personally, I enjoyed all of them—”

“Try red.”

“No, pink.”

Peter B. groaned. “Pink is overrated.” Miles looked at him straight in the eye, expressionless.

“Your opinion is irrelevant.”

Peter B. Parker had never felt more hurt by a teenager.

“I’m the oldest one here! I think I know better.”

Peter was growing impatient. He cleared his throat and gently moved Miles aside. “All right, while you fellas discuss… this, I’m gonna go—”

“No!” Miles placed the pink Starburst in Peter’s hand, frantic. “Eat the pink one.”

“Eat them all!” Peter B. chuckled nervously, shrugging with his hands raised, palms facing upwards. Miles nodded as if it were the best idea of the century.

“Yeah, I don’t want them anymore, here—” He slammed the bag of candy onto Peter’s chest. Peter hesitantly took ahold of it, visibly perplexed. He opened his mouth to question their strange behavior and if they thought he had been born yesterday, until a distant singing voice interrupted him. 

“And I need you! I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m sorry! I love you, fuck!”

“What’s that?” 

‘The neighbors’, ‘The TV’, Peter B. and Miles said at the same time. 

This plan was doomed from the beginning.

“Da da da da! Da da da da!” 

Peter took off his glasses, guarding them inside his pocket and his brows knitted together before he pushed the two aside and took off, putting on his mask.

“Quiet down!” You hissed at Matt, glancing back at May’s house. His hands landed on your shoulders, but you immediately pushed him off you. “Fuck off, Matt! We’ve been broken up for seven months already! I moved on, and so should you!” He cocked his head to the side, his face twisted in confusion as if you’d just spoken in a foreign language.

“Broken up?” He repeated your words, voice small. “It was just a break.”

It was your turn to be confused. “What? …No. It’s over. It was over a long time ago.” 

His face fell as a realization dawned upon him and his gaze burned into yours, emotionless, making you more uncomfortable. “You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?”

Your heartbeat sped up. “No, I said I moved on, not that I was seeing someone else—”

“You’re cheating on me?”

You took in a deep breath, close to tipping to the edge. “Again, we’re broken up.” You reiterated harshly. “As in we’re not a relationship anymore.” But Matt’s dense self wouldn’t give up just yet.

“It was just a break.” 

You’ve had it.

“It’s not a fucking break!” You shouted, making him jump. You heard the front door open and you both whipped around, your heart dropping. As soon as your sight landed on Peter going down the stairs, you gulped. Peter B. and Miles’ plan wasn’t the only one that failed that night.

“What’s going on here?” Peter’s voice was hard, bitter. You speed-walked closer to him before he could reach Matt.

“Peter—” You stopped him in his tracks, your hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll get him out of here, okay? I got it.” No, you didn’t, most definitely not. And you could tell he knew.

He looked at Matt, and although his face remained covered, chills ran down the latter’s spine. “Are you Matt?” Peter asked loudly. Matt narrowed his eyes, puffing out his chest.

“Who are you?” He nodded at Peter, trying to sound intimidating, but the other didn’t move a muscle.

“I asked you a question.”

Matt studied Peter’s dark outfit, wondering if he was so drunk he was imagining the man. “Y-Yeah, that’s me. I’m Matt.”

“All right. Look at me, Matt.” Matt did as he said. “Good. Now, listen very closely.”

“What are you doing?” You whisper-screamed at Peter, giving him a warning with your eyes. “I said I got this.”

Peter stared at you, considering letting you handle it by yourself as you wished. But the flare, the ire at your ex had been fortifying, expanding slowly since the beginning; and now that he was there, just a few feet away— a drunken moron who relentlessly peeved you and riled him up— ultimately, impatience engulfed him and he shook his head. “You clearly don’t.”

Once Peter reached Matt, he towered over him. Matt blinked up at him, feeling smaller than ever. “Y/N’s with me now. If I hear from you one more darn time, then the coppers will be the least of your worries. Trust me. Got it?” Peter said lowly, and Matt solely nodded. “Got it?” He repeated through clenched teeth.

Matt put his hands in the air in defeat, backing away. “Heard you, man. Fuckin’ weirdo.” He muttered before he turned around and sat down on the sidewalk. You grabbed Peter’s hand and dragged him back inside, where Peter B. and Miles sat on the couch and flashed you apologetic smiles after you barged in. 

“Sorry. I’ll call a cab for him,” Peter said behind you. You waved your hand at him, shrugging and mumbling ‘it’s okay’.

“Is it over?” Miles asked, trying to look out the window from the sofa. You nodded. “Okay, can we finally go over the plan—”

Peter took off his mask, disheveling his dark hair. “Why did you try to keep this from me?” You turned around and rubbed your face, slightly frustrated.

“Because I didn’t want what just happened to happen.”

“What? Me telling him to scram off since you wouldn’t?” 

“Peter, I told you: I don’t want anyone to know about this.” You gestured between you two. You’d had this conversation before, and he understood your reasoning. He truly did. His appearance, it screamed at the top of its lungs the truth that he did not belong there. It simply was obvious, unmistakable. However, now that he’d curbed the restraint he’d created for himself once, his authentic feelings and mouth were loose, completely out of his control.

“He wasn’t going to stop bugging you!” He pointed out the window. “What if he did something worse in the future?”

“But now he’s gonna tell other people that I’m seeing someone!”

“And so what?”

You laughed, your brows furrowed. “They’re gonna want to meet you! What am I gonna do, then? ‘Ah, yes, meet my boyfriend from the 1930s!’”

Again, you noticed that irritation in his features. But all of a sudden, it was clear that it was more than just annoyance.

Jealousy. He was jealous.

“All right, then! I want other people to know who your real daddy is!” He exclaimed, his eyebrows lifted and his hands on his waist.

You heard Peter B. and Miles explode, both shouting ‘whoa!’ while you sputtered and sensed your cheeks blazing. 

“Yo, gross! Keep it in the bedroom!”

“We have a minor in here, please!”

Peter’s sight jumped between the three of you, his expression the definition of puzzlement as you covered your face with your hands and Peter B. and Miles continued feeding your embarrassment with their comments. “W-what? What did I say?” He stuttered, looking at you helplessly.

You peeked one eye up at him, laughing. “Pete, baby…”

Needless to say, after you updated Peter on slang, his flushed self couldn’t quite concentrate as Miles went over the plan.

[lemonadetyler]

peter finds out you’re a villain

request: Head cannon on you being Peters nice, shy girlfriend but secretly you being an anti hero and Peter goes to where you are and seeing you in dark, tight spandex makes him very flustered ;)

pairing: peter parker / spiderman x reader

type: headcanon / smut

a/n: i adjusted the ask a lil bit, instead of villain / anti hero i went with vigilante. i hope that’s okay! send me an ask to join the tag list below!!

“bye, babe.” peter kisses you as he leaves your apartment after riding the train over to brooklyn with you like the sweetheart he is

“see you tomorrow?” you ask all wide eyed and cute like u be

“ofc, darling” he told u

he was always so worried about you

& you can totally handle yourself. you can do a lot more damage than that but if peter knew the truth, he would be crushed & what homeboy don’t know can’t hurt him

so peter leaves & you go into your room

sweater off

leggings gone

scarf deceased

your cute lil usual fit is on the floor

shy & sweet u gone

bad bitch u is here

your sexy ass has squeezed into your suit

u look fuckin good, feelin yourself

but u already knew that

do u cause a lil trouble when you go out? sure, but it’s so much fun

so ur out ur window and hopping rooftop to rooftop like the badass u be

u were kind of like a modern day robin hood but more violent and less predictable

out here avenging the world’s wrongs w/ some fun for yourself on the side

what shall it be tonight? u robbed some wealthy asshole last week. tomorrow ur busy sneaking into a prison & going all mercenary on some dumbass

u were absolutely awful, but only to the people who deserved it most

“god i am so in the mood for torture right now.” u say to yourself

so u do some scouting

tired retail worker = a bad target

lost girl at night was equally uninteresting

man following lost girl? now that could be interesting.

so u watch & wait

but all my ladies out there know damn well what’s about to go down

and yeah, shit hit the fan

but yall coulda guessed that

this dirty vacuum bag really tries to get with this girl, she wasn’t having it, he decides that fucking rape is next on today’s agenda

so u swoop in

see, ur not abnormally strong or powerful

but u have two things that these fuckers out don’t: 1. the element of surprise and 2. a really, really cool bat who you have affectionately named “bubbles”

its cute

anyways, back to the ass whooping you dishing out

so you might have broke into a police car last night

stole some handcuffs

but youre gonna give them back!!

just not at the moment

you handcuff this lil bitch to a bike rack

take the girl into a restaurant

make shes okay and get her a ride home

okay back to this fucker

he’s huffing and puffing like he finna blow this bitch down

like really

get a grip

so you uncuff him

and this man takes off

“i hate the runners” you say

gotta chase after this dude now

finally you catch up to him

knock him down with bubbles the bat

“dude, i just wanna talk” you tell him as he lays on the ground

“really?” he looks at u like he bouta cry

“lmao no.” you laugh and hit him with bubbles again

dumb bitch

but THEN

you’re knocked on ur ass by someone

you start to look up to see who it was

your vision is a lil blurry but u can kinda make out a figure

“is that fuckin spiderman”

“that’s gonna hurt tomorrow, miss.” he tells you

“i’d go home and ice it.” IS SPIDERMAN REALLY TELLING U TO PACK UR SHIT AND GO HOME RIGHT NOW??

“fuck i wish i had superpowers” you mumble to yourself

you can’t really compete with spiderman

gonna have to talk your way outta this one

“hello, mr. man?” you say all cute like “Imma need you to hand me that man back.” you finish

“no can do.” spiderman tells you

“i really don’t think the spiderman brand should be supporting attempted rapists” GET FUCKED BUG BOY

“did he?” spiderman looks at the man on his arm

“sure did.” you clarify

“i still I don’t think I can condone you beating him like you were.” spiderman tells you

“i’m simply doing god’s work” you say, trying not to laugh

“god’s work.” spiderman looks at you straight faced, unimpressed

now you begin to approach spiderman

“what are you doing in brooklyn tonight, spiderman?” you say SEDUCTIVELY LIKE YES GIRL

“just passing through” spiderman says

“well,” you bite your lip (agh!!!!) “maybe next time you should stick to queens.”

WHO NEEDS THE ICE NOW, SPIDERMAN?

“who are you?” spiderman asks you, genuinely perplexed

“it wouldn’t be as fun if I told you, would it?” you answer.

you grab the man out of spiderman’s hands, walking away, confident as hell

spiderman grabs you by your hips and turns you around

“you sound so familiar” he tells you

like can you fuck off

“not gonna like, i thought you’d be cooler” you respond

the almost rapist takes the opportunity to run away so that’s great

and spiderman just doesn’t care

“what the actual fuck man??” you say “i’m not running after that dumbass again.”

in the midst of your ranting, spiderman rips your fucking mask off

like IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED

“i knew there was no way you weren’t mine”

WHAT

THE

FUCK

before u can even register what has happened, he rips his mask off

“surprise!” your BOYFRIEND PETER shouts, NOT SPIDERMAN

“what?” you say in shock

“you were so confident and out there.” peter says in awe. “it was awesome. i didn’t know you could be so… dangerous.” he says after finding the right word.

“what are you gonna do about it?”

so peter kisses you

but like, aggressively

pushes you up against a wall

“you should wear this more often” he tell you

“you like it?” you ask

“like it? im gonna fuck you in it.”

ur pussy might as well be a super soaker bc that bitch is drenched

peter rips your suit open

“you got more of these?”

“yeah but maybe we fuck in this one from now on”

he’s got your nipple in his mouth

hands down your pants

you might just come right then and there

but peter’s suit is equally tight

and he’s been hard since he first knocked you down

WHICH, BY THE WAY, HE DIDN’T KNOW TO BE YOU AT THE TIME SO YALL DEFINITELY NEED TO TALK ABOUT THAT

“stop teasing me” you breathe out

slowly, which is basically still teasing, peter slides inside of you

moving in & out of u, his cock coated in your juices

“harder, peter.” you beg as he tentatively hits your clit with each move

THIS TIME, FINALLY HE DOESN’T HOLD BACK

boy goes to work

slamming in & out of you

“fuck, daddy, right there.”

also, peter didn’t know about your daddy kink until right now so i guess this is confession night

but he totally digs it

he grabs onto your hips tighter than ever before

sliding you on and off his dick as your back is to the wall

your legs are wrapped around his hips

you’re literally getting fucked hard in an alleyway at midnight by the spiderman

who would’ve thunk it

you both come

, hard

yall compose yourselves

“we have so much to talk about tomorrow.” peter tells you

“you’re spiderman.” you say, it still hasn’t hit you quite yet

“and you’re a vigilante with a daddy kink.”

“touche, parker.”

tag list: @smilexcaptainx @just-an-average-nerd @mstoomanynames @bcndevik @asadmarveltrashbag @bookgirlunicorn @spiderlingsweb @peterlikescats @i-alyssa

[speckledbears]

Thoughts on “Far From Home”

SPOILERS FOR “Spider-Man: Far From Home”!!!!

this is for you anon

ok so basically i thought that it would have been good if it wasn’t a Spider-Man (“children’s”) movie.

Like, I think Quentin (Jake G) was such an interesting character, and an amazing villain but, I hated that his entire reason was because he wanted to be the New Iron Man. It bugs me to NO END that THATS the reason. Tony stole the projector tech he made, made fun of him (even if the audience didn’t know), and fired him. I think that’s a much better reason than wanting to be the next Annoying, Mean, Rich Rich Rich So Fucking Rich Metal Guy. The tech was so fucking cool? Like, projectors that seemed so lifelike,,, that’s so cool (also i kinda feel like you could relate it to how disney is only using GCI now but the russos are dumbasses). And like, the story Quentin and his team put together for Mysterio, and all the planning and the production value (if you can call it that lol) was so interesting and I was so intrigued. If there was a movie for him, and he didn’t fucking suck, I would pay to see it. His issue is that he’s so hellbent on killing Peter, MJ and Ned that I was put-off from like, half the movie. It’s kinda terrifying that someone can say, “I’ll just have to kill the kids myself,” and NO ONE IS CONCERNED??? And the fact that he was willing to kill innocent civilians just to make headlines, that’s fucked (and modern). Also, I think the directors missed out on a big opportunity for Peter to have a new father figure. Peter looked up to Quentin, trusted him, seeked him out for advice, like he would a father. I don’t remember him ever doing that with Tony. Peter was always too worried he was bothering him, and Tony seemed to brush him off a lot. Sure, Tony picked him and placed so much faith in him but, in the end? I feel Peter became more of a toy for the Avengers than an actual team member. If Quentin had been a good guy, doing this shit for the “right reasons” (idk like, taking the burden of becoming Iron Man off Peter, and maybe mentoring him) he could’ve been AMAZING. I still love him (except his dumb reasons) but, y’all missed out!!!!

Next: The whole deal with Peter being chosen by Tony to be the next Iron Man. Fucking hate that shit!!!!! Peter is a CHILD, he’s 16, and obviously he’s not ready for that responsibility!!!! In the movie, he’s manipulated by Quentin (which i lowkey also hate and explained above) and he just!!! gave EDITH to him!!!!! He’s a good kid, but not mature or responsible enough to handle having access to that kind of tech. I mean, dude almost killed a classmate?? Literally called a drone strike on the kid, couldn’t figure out how to cancel it, and destroyed the drone himself. Let’s not forget that this responsibility was FORCED ON HIM BY TONY???? Like, there was this scene where Peter literally told Quentin that he didn’t want EDITH!!! He didn’t want that kind of responsibility that came with being Iron Man!!! All he wanted for the summer was to hang out with his friends and kiss the girl he likes!!! Peter just wanted to be a normal child for one summer and, apparently, that was too much to ask for. Also, in the scene where Happy and Peter are in the jet talking about Tony, Peter says that he doesn’t know if he can be the new Iron Man. Happy doesn’t even hesitate when he says, “No, you can’t. No one can replace him.” Like hello!!!! And then they immediately forget that little nugget of wisdom, and Peter starts playing with Tony’s tech and literally everyone with eyes can draw the parallels between Peter and Tony. It’s frustrating. I hated how Tony was treated after his death. I completely understand mourning a character, especially one as important as Tony Stark, but it didn’t feel like mourning. It felt like worshipping. Tony had become a martyr, and he fucking knew it (EDITH = Even Dead, I’m The Hero 🙄) and people are still licking his boots. It’s just so weird that, even though he’s supposed to be dead, he’s still a main character and RDJ isn’t even in the movie!!!!!!!! When a character dies, that’s it, they can’t directly influence the story anymore, and yet Tony is still the reason for everything Peter does? He doesn’t have his own initiative. He lived and breathed in Tony’s shadow, and he’ll live in it forever. He’s being forced to become the next Iron Man. And believe me, I love Tony. I grew up watching the “Iron Man” movies with my parents and brother, and I remember watching one in the theatre and laughing till I cried. Guys! He’s dead! He’s done more than enough! It’s Spider-Man’s turn now.

I really hated Nick Fury in this movie. I grew up watching the OG Marvel movies and I loved Nick, but holy fuck. This dude hounded Peter, a CHILD, for help against those Elementals when he could’ve literally asked anyone else (side note: he shot Ned with a tranquilizer dart like? dude he’s a child calm down-). He gave a shit ton of excuses for why he couldn’t get in contact with the other Avengers but, I call bullshit. This dude is like, one of the most powerful men in the world (Quentin’s words, but it’s also been proven in other movies). He managed to track down Peter, how is it THAT HARD for him to find an adult??? Then he hijacked the school trip so that Peter would be in Prague, and he KNEW that once Peter was there he would help. It’s manipulation. Never mind the scene like, 5 mins later where Peter says he’s worried about his friends getting hurt (and having EDITH but not really understanding her), and Nick exploded on him. LIKE DUDE??? he’s a child. I’m also super pissed off at the fact that Nick manipulated Peter using his Avenger status. OOOOHHHH you whore!!! Literally everyone knows that Peter loved Tony (🙄🙄) and he used him against Peter! ASK AN ADULT FOR HELP YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE TEAM OF THEM????? Oh also, the bitch KNEW Quentin was evil. There’s a scene that proves it. It’s right after their first meeting where Peter says no, and leaves. Nick and Maria (the brunette lady hes always with, im surprised i remembered her name) share a knowing glance. They fucking KNOW. And yet?? They let Quentin do whatever the hell he wants?? He literally tried to kill 3 teenagers, and planned to kill hundreds of civilians in London (and i’m not sure if anyone did get hurt or died but, i wouldn’t be surprised). But the most powerful man in the world can’t stop him, apparently. He wants a 16-year-old CHILD to do it for him. It’s ridiculous!

The romance was also a bit hit-or-miss for me. Like, Ned and Betty?? It felt so forced and contrived? It literally only existed so that MJ could take Ned’s place. Y’all notice that Ned basically ditched his best friend for the entire movie for some girl he barely knows? Also, the fact that they “fell in love” on an eight hour flight. Hate that. It’s such a trope and it’s ugly. The romance with Happy and May was kinda weird, too? I mean, I don’t know their past together. I didn’t watch “Infinty War” or “Endgame” but, it also felt forced. Especially at the end, when Peter asked if they were dating!! May said no and Happy said yes!! I’m assuming that’s supposed to be comedy?? ig??? Anyway, I didn’t really like the romantic rivalry between Brad and Peter? (btw no shit i almost called peter “tony” i’m telling y’all they’re synonymous now). Like, Brad’s logic in using the photo of Peter stripping to “expose the truth” about Peter to MJ was so weird and awkward? The entire scene felt forced and I was so uncomfortable watching it. Also, MJ would’ve stuck up for Peter anyway, so it didn’t even matter, and the rivalry was dropped so easily after the opera in Prague. I did actually like the romance between Peter and MJ, even though I wasn’t expecting to. It’s a bit weird how quickly he got over Liz, but whatever; he’s a teenager. (I was going to comment on the necklace thing but, that’s actually kind of in character for him so, y’all get ONE (1) pass). I thought their hug and kiss at the end of the battle with Quentin was super fucking sweet and innocent, and it was refreshing compared to most teen romance movies where they act like adults instead. I was in LOVE with that scene, and it was one of the only scenes I honestly loved.

Ok, I wanna go back to Quentin for a bit. This dude absolutely destroyed the Peter Parker we were given in HOCO, and at the beginning of the movie. Yeah, Tony already had him as a puppet, but Quentin took his innocence. Y’all saw how easily Peter trusted people before him!! Like?? When he found out Quentin manipulated him, he lost almost all his faith in other people, except for MJ and Ned. For example, the scene where Peter calls Happy to pick him up because he’s in a holding cell in the Netherlands? Love that scene BUT! As he’s limping over to Happy, so obviously fucked up and hurting, he makes Happy prove it’s really him. THAT FUCKING HURT LMAO!!!!! I hated that. And that last battle with Quentin on the bridge? He maneuvered so easily through the drones, it was impressive, and he’d only fought against them once before (seems impossible but whatever). And watching the projections dissolve away into just pixels and a scared little bitch in a fish bowl helmet? Classic Theatre. But, he was traumatized by previous experiences fighting Quentin. Peter’s growth made the movie good but, his loss of innocence really made this movie kinda suck. Sure, his innocence still there—the scenes later with MJ prove that—but he’s still lost his easy trust in other people. It hurt to see. And, like, I’m not saying he can’t be more mature but, he didn’t even trust Happy!! He’s so paranoid that he’ll find his loved ones replaced by Quentin’s illusions!! It sucks!!!! Peter isn’t Peter without that sense of childlike wonder, curiosity, and helpless faith in others.

Anyway, I wanna talk about that Netherlands scene again because, holy shit, I loved it. After Peter was hit by that train (i actually screamed but the cinematography inside the train? *kiss*), he wakes up in some holding cell in the Netherlands with a band of friendly locals, and the guard, who’s talking on the phone with his pregnant wife. I don’t know why but, that scene was one of the first to make me smile? Like, it was so sweet how the other men were so happy for the guard and his wife, how they gave Peter a spare shirt because he looked cold, how Peter just broke the lock and left? How the guard was wearing Peter’s mask???? I’m in love. The next scene I liked was literally right after, of Peter limping through the tulip field, and Happy landing the jet nearby. Without dialogue, that scene is so pretty?? The petals stirring in the wave the jet left as it landed?? The HUG???? UGH! I fell in love. Another scene I loved was the scene when Peter went to Berlin to meet with Nick Fury and Quentin manipulated it with the projection technology. Even though I knew it was fake, I was worried about what was going on outside the projection (he got hit by a fucking train so,,,,,, iwas right to be worried-). Watching Peter so helpless and trying to stay vigilant was so heartbreaking, yet I was lowkey impressed. Like? How many other mean ass men could pull that off? None, next question. I can’t even think about how to explain it. I watched that scene at least 3 times, and was amazed every time, my only thoughts anxiety for Peter.

Okay, lastly, I wanna talk about the tech. I thought it was so interesting and unique. Like, I’ve played with the idea of projection in stories, or with characters as magic but, never considered applying it through technology, especially tech as capable as it is. And every scene where the projections were being used were amazing. I mean, obviously it’s CGI, but in the context of the MCU, it’s so interesting and cool to see tech like that used in a very public way. And no one knew!!! The whole system (along with Quentin and his team) was so good at camouflaging that I was fooled at the beginning of the movie. I seriously believed in the Elementals and Mysterio’s ruined Earth. It’s part of the reason I really enjoyed his character. And, like I said earlier, Peter was fooled by it too; everyone was. He learned it, eventually. But not before Quentin could manipulate the situation one last time and claim Peter called the drone attacks on London, and revealed his identity.

All in all, I didn’t have fun watching “Far From Home,” and it’s mainly because it didn’t feel like a Spider-Man movie. I enjoyed “Homecoming,” so much more. The villain was far more relatable (even though you could see it as demonizing the poor), Ned and Peter’s friendship was so wholesome and sweet, the entire cast was fun, and it was more enjoyable than watching some angry rich white man trying to kill children so he can get richer.

[wvrmtails]

(  and what loneliness is more lonely than distrust?  )

( keiynan lonsdale, twenty one, agender ) my goodness, is peter pettigrew back? it’s been a few years since the halfblood has been around the castle, but i’d recognize he/they anywhere. rumor has it the seventh year spent the past few years aligned with the order. they’re stillallocentric & cunning and obsessive & passive, though. and the gryffindor still reminds me of ketchup stains on band shirts, an incomprehensible minute long string of curses, tracing the veins in your wrist, the smell of breakfast and fresh coffee, card tricks at three in the morning. well, then, i guess some things never change. 

links:  playlist.  pinboard.  stats. 

triggers: child abandonment, eating disorder (specifically bed/bulimia), depression, anxiety, weed. there’s a heads up before every bulletpoint!

history.

child abandonement mention |  peter grew up in glasgow, scotland and was raised by his mother, a halfblooded witch called daraja pettigrew. his dad wasn’t in the picture, hadn’t been from the moment his mum had told him that she was pregnant. | end of mention

which meant peter learned how to be alone from a young age. his mother worked a lot, after all, so she could pay the rent of their small flat and give peter the bare minimum, the things he needed. peter delved into fictional worlds: he read books. comics, mostly, but also a lot of roald dahl. he also watched a lot of telly, because tv is the bomb.

went to muggle elementary, where he was kind of? an odd one out. his clothes were always a bit lumpy, his words a bit jumbled, his eyes shifty. was an outsider on good days, a target on less good ones. he spent many lunch breaks eating alone, and most of the time he didn’t mind — being alone meant he could let his mind wander.

still, it fucked with his self esteem. no kid likes feeling alone, or like an outsider.

and then hogwarts rolled around and! friends! marauders! peter felt so at home! oh my god okay listen. he loves the marauders so much and he was so hyped and happy to be part of this little group and there was a Lot of hero worship there, esp in the early days?

peter always loved heroes. he loves comic books and people who save the day and get the girl and do it all. i think he kind of … projected that onto james and sirius especially? did not know how to do this friendship thing as an 11 year old tbh, was a mess, was blinded by their amazingness damn

also. re: being sorted into gryffindor! peter admires heroism and bravery and chivalry, and it’s your values that get you sorted some place. and he does try to be brave, and he IS, because he becomes a damn animagus for his bud! i mean! he was not a hatstall btw  — i choose to ignore that stupid bit of post canon. it took a while for the hat, sure, but no more than two minutes. 

pete was & is a shit student, not bc he was dumb, but just because school was not. his thing. his jam. the system was just not for him. deadlines? exams? homework? no thank you. anyway, peter’s skills flourished a lot more in different settings, like … using charms for convenience. or becoming an animagus for his bff. making potions against hangovers. etc.

becoming an animagus for remus was ! important ! to peter ! he did it for remus, not because of peer pressure, or anything else — he did it because it was right, and his friend deserved it and ! he did it, too, because he could. sure, his transfig grades may have been more than poor, but the kid did have some skill. he just needed motivation, which mcgonagall didn’t give (bc. she scared him.) and this situation? motivated the hell out of him. 

peter would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken a bit aback when he learned about remus’ lycanthropy — not because he was scared of him, to be honest, but he was just ? shocked ? he was more scared for remus, and so sad? so fucking sad for him? : (

collects chocolate frog cards like it’s his damn job. i mean, he did it before hogwarts, but once he arrived and there was more opportunity to trade and a whole club dedicated to it, peter grew more and more driven to complete his collection, lmao. peter also really likes playing gobstones and is pretty good at it? same with chess & card games — he loves games!!!! so much!!!

weed & anxiety tw | peter started smoking pot in the summer between his fourth and fifth year, and never really stopped. it made him slack more at school, but also eased his anxiety, which had started to develop in his fourth year. as months passed, peter became more and more of a stoner, which made him both more relaxed and funnier, but also ... a whole of a lot lazier. | end of weed tw

peter had always been a bit ... fidgety, easily on edge, a bit nervous, but he’d never really known anxiety until around fourteen years old. his insecurities grew, as he started comparing himself more to his friends and finding nothing but things he lacked in comparison to them, and questions as to why they put up with him. | end of anxiety tw

so his schooldays mostly looked like ... doing nothing, playing games, having fun with his mates, getting high, forgetting his homework, stressing about homework, and somewhere, in a tiny corner of his being, worrying about the war. whenever those worries started coming up, though, he was able to push them away, because the war was not yet there, not for him at least. there was graduation to worry about first, and once that was done, then he could worry about the war.

and then the war came to hogwarts. peter was shocked. peter had been in denial about the war and how close it could hit him, because in his mind he and his friends would be safe at hogwarts, would be safe until at least graduation, and then that was all gone. peter didn’t do much during the battle. i can imagine that he just hid, that he tried to stay out of trouble, that a side of him showed itself that he did not like at all. he worried about his friends, hoped they were safe, but didn’t go looking for them, didn’t try to protect them: he clung to safety and hid. like a fucking coward. he prayed, for a moment, and then cursed god to hell and back. probably smoked a few cigarettes, too.

post battle & currently.

peter is ashamed. ashamed of his cowardice, ashamed of his passiveness, of his incapability to stand up and fight, like so many of his friends did. a disgust grew in his chest for himself, and yet he was glad, somewhere, that he had hidden. he’d not seen as much as others had. he’d not gotten hurt. he had not died.

he did join the order, along with his friends, in an attempt to make up for his earlier lack of bravery, but he finds himself incapable to do much. he’s not good at dueling and while he’s able to be strategic and cunning, his mind seems to shut down whenever he tries to apply himself. he’s terrified, frankly, and he’s angry, because he should just be at fucking hogwarts. 

that idea i mentioned earlier, that the war wouldn’t be real until after graduation, and then graduation being postponed significantly, kind of froze peter up. rather than dedicating himself to the order in his own ways, as he would do in a canon verse, or eventually deciding to walk over to the death eaters, peter just became passive. i think peter hung around hq a lot, cleaning up and cooking food and making sure there was always enough tea/coffee/beer/liquor around for when there were meetings. would rather clean a dirty toilet than go on a mission. The Order’s personal MAID! 

depression & weed & eating disorder (bed/bulimia) tw | peter feels useless. he feels like a shitty person. he feels like he’s a burden. he hates himself. peter starts secluding himself, hiding in his mother’s home. he smokes more pot. he sometimes goes a week without seeing someone besides his mum. he watches too much telly and reads comics and drowns in fictional worlds and he becomes depressed. he sinks into it without noticing and can’t come back from it. his eating habits ( which have always bordered on unhealthy ) turn worse; peter binges, and then restricts, falls into a cycle. it’s the only routine he has.

when he’s around his friends, he lives up a little. he cracks jokes and wants to play games and laughs and feels a bit more alive, but he always craves his time on his own. that’s his new way to feel safe: to stick to his newly found routine, hidden in his room, away from reality. | end of tw

and then, finally, he was able to return to hogwarts. the three years spent away from school feel like a blur, if you ask him now, a useless blur, and peter’s laughing when he steps on the train. he’s glad. he’s glad. he can return to his plan to graduate and then, maybe, find the power in himself to face the war, rather than still, kind of, deny it. peter just wants to return to his last year and make the most of it, and return to the way life once was. ( that that’s kind of impossible is, well, yet another thing he’s in denial about. )

random facts & ramblings.

peter parker is his favourite superhero just because ... they share a first name and because peter parker is a bit of an underdog too and peter is just like! amazing! he named his owl parker.

he hates cats. used to love them --- he was allowed to take the cat from home with him to hogwarts when he was eleven, but he brought him back home after an unfortunate incident where his cat nearly ate him while he was in his animagus form. “sorry ma, i don’t love him any more. here. have him.” 

peter is actually a solid cook. this is because he learned to make some basic food when he was still a kid, first with his grandma, and later on his own. he liked doing it for his mother and he was. .. good at it? peter is also just passionate about food and finds comfort in cooking. breakfast food and baked goods are Prime Food Categories. 

he is asexual af, panromantic. has kissed both guys and gals and nb pals but did not like it??? confused. does not understand sexuality and all that jazz but tries not to think abt it because like! he’s got enough stress! doesnt need to think abt this!

peter is also agender, but i think he’s a lot less aware about this, because it’s confusing and so he just tries not to think about it. he does feel okay with he/him pronouns, but just doesn’t feel connected at all to being a boy/man

peter has abandonment issues because his dad, well, never even bothered to be there. not even for a second. he’s just constantly scared that people will leave and it’s funny, because he will probably end up abandoning all of his loved ones KDJFHSDF.

peter is quite non confrontational but also not ... meek? he just avoids it, either by physically staying out of people’s way or by dismissing most of the things said and getting out of there. a Passive Kid. will, however, defends his friends honour, because damn it, he loves them so much.

he’s such a fucking dork i swear to god. but he’s funny! peter is really funny. i deeply believe in this. he makes great puns and is able to just come out of nowhere and make a comment that just. hits the nail right on its head. 

peter curses a lot and has a scottish accent and sometimes he will have a minute long cursing session that no one rly understands.

listen i have such a wide array of hc’s im not going to list them all here just ask me

possible plots.

tutors. someone help peter graduate bc that is like. something he does want to do. he’s taking his newts in transfig, potions and herbology.

fellow collectors. please trade chocolate frog cards with peter and help him finish his collection before he loses his gd mind.

let’s play a game! peter rly likes playing games and tbh he’s usually in for one ( though it does depend on who you are, lmao ) so! maybe your character and peter just like hanging out and playing some Games.

i will add more im just so tired of typing rn KSDFHSJKDFHKJSDFKDSFH

[desperatelyseekingroleplay]

Roleplay partners wanted!

My name is Rhys. I am 21 years old, she/her, from the CT, love the color magenta, and own two orange tabbies. I’m looking for partners in my conquest to write! While I can't get responses in every day, I am almost always open to chatter and geeking out about all sorts of things.

  I write third person, past/present tense, and paragraph form. I'm a novella-ish writer, and do try to crank out at least four-six paragraphs each time I get a response in. Like previously mentioned, I want to stress that while I can't respond every day, everything I do write is full of TLC! I always want to mention this to partners beforehand, because I know some people would rather do rapid fire responses than one or two a week. My limits are pretty general; toilet stuff is a no-no. I don't like to write out top/bottom stereotypes or "seme/uke" tropes. Beastiality, pedophilia, and the like are icky things I would rather avoid.

  I write for all genders, ethnicity, and orientations! I am open to any pairings, and beyond that, varying genres.

  https://docs.google.com/document/d/18n3iuj4m9X1hBo9P2IezrKdTfkTrSKt0H34ZP6v3hHs

  LIMITS

________

  No unrealistic stereotypes of queer relationships, please. Yaoi, yuri, seme/uke, etc. Can't do that. Characters need to both have versatile roles; switching, so it's fair for everyone. Though, my characters do tend to be a lot more dominating!

  {{Very welcoming of BDSM, dom/sub, but this does not mean someone needs to be penetrated every single time in order for the dom to dominate. Get it? This can also apply to heterosexual relationships. I would literally love to see female characters who top, if you know what I mean. If given the chance, I will definitely have dom!females in bdsm-related situations}}

  Furries; blegh, no thanks. Beastiality, nekos, anything of sexual animal-related nature is a no-go, fam.

  Vore, scat, bathroom stuff, pedophilia. You know the drill! ((I am not opposed to consensual, legal age and non-reproducing incestuous relationships in FICTION! Sex is fine, just no children resulting from it. Reminder; this is fictional.))

  Okay, so despite those few limits, I am actually pretty welcoming of anything else. Smut, of course. Some kink a little out there that you want to suggest? Let's do it, dude. I am open to polyamorous relationships, any queer shit you're willing to throw at me lmao I am super OOC friendly and I am pretty much a garbled mess when I get to know you! I am open to crooked relationships, ones that don't function right, fluff and all cuteness, unconditional love-- my interests fluctuate! I am down, 24/7, guys! Here's a list of fandoms and pairings below.

_________

  **=Craving

  Borderlands

Handsome Jack/Rhys

Handsome Jack/Rhys/Nisha

Rhys/Axton

Handsome Jack/Nisha

Fiona/Athena

Fiona/Vaughn

Rhys/Vaughn

  Until Dawn

Josh Washington/Chris

Chris/Mike

Jess/Mike

Sam/Beth

Matt/Jess

Emily/Matt/Jess

  Life is Strange

Max Caulfield/Chloe Price

Max Caulfield/Kate Marsh/Victoria Chase

Nathan Prescott/Warren Graham

Rachel Amber/Chloe Price**

Rachel Amber/Frank Bowers

Frank Bowers/Damon Merrick**

  DC

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd**

Dick Grayson/Koriand'r

Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson

Dick Grayson/Wally West

Oliver Queen/Dinah Lance

Harley Quinn/Pamela Isley

Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

  Batman: Telltale Series

Bruce Wayne/John Doe**

Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle

Bruce Wayne/Jim Gordon

Bruce Wayne/Harvey Dent

Bruce Wayne/Harvey Dent/Selina Kyle

  Marvel

Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Tony Stark/Bruce Banner

Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson

Thor/Bruce Banner**

Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff

Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson**

Gwen Stacy/Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

  Uncharted

Nathan Drake/Samuel Drake**

Nathan Drake/Harry Flynn**

Chloe Frazer/Nadine Ross

Samuel Drake/Rafe Adler

  Game of Thrones

Arya Stark/Gendry Waters

Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell

Daenerys Targaryen/Jon Snow

  TTGOT

Asher Forrester/Gwyn Whitehill

Rodrik Forrester/Arthur Glenmore

Mira Forrester/Margaery Tyrell

Gryff Whitehill/Elaena Glenmore

Gared Tuttle/Finn

Gared Tuttle/Josera Snow

  The Walking Dead

Rick Grimes/Shane Walsh

Rick Grimes/Negan**

Daryl Dixon/Paul “Jesus” Rovia

  TWDG

Luke/Nick

Javier Garcia/David Garcia**

Clementine/Gabriel Garcia

Javier Garcia/Paul “Jesus” Rovia

  The Mortal Instruments

Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago

Simon Lewis/Jace Lightwood

Isabelle Lightwood/Lydia Branwell

Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane

  Infamous: Second Son

Delsin Rowe/Reggie Rowe

Delsin Rowe/Eugene Sims

Delsin Rowe/Hank Daughtry

  Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator

Anyone/your dadsona (for the love of god someone give me a good, not cliche john doe dadsona and you will win my heart!! I just want to play a dad lol bring me some great ass ocs)

  Far Cry 3

Jason Brody/Vaas Montenegro

  The Last of Us

Ellie/Riley

  -

  Some basic ideas that I do have pretty big doc ideas for;

  A few marine biologists go to an island off the coast to study the marine life there, which in turn, turns out to be something much bigger. (Mermaid/siren prompt!)

  Soul mates; it can be like some of those AU’s where you don’t see color until you meet them, your tattooed timer counts down until then, or maybe even soulmates continuously reincarnating and one of the two has killed them for centuries in order to be “immortal”. For the first time, the victimized partner gets close enough that the other begins to fall and they start aging, together.

  Character A has an awful time living in the city; alone, and without mom's guidance, completely lost. One day they receive a call about a deceased relative, one they'd never heard of and apparently left their estate and everything in their will to A. With nothing but the clothes on their back, A took a shot and drove out to this presumed "estate", only to find that it's a mansion in a tiny little town with an eerie vibe and populated by the typical small town churchgoers and farm folk. Living in this town was a hell of a challenge; everyone was nice, too nice, and people were missing. Character B is an exceptionally charismatic, charming person and the only mechanic/handyman in town. A and B become friends, partially, when A needs to fix up the piping in their estate. A stumbles upon the attic one day, and for once, they start to get why this whole town reeked to the roots in weird shit-- their deceased relative was tracking something here in this town, having to do with all of the MIA townsfolk. DR has a board of possible suspects, and at the center? B. OSJFODSFHSDJSODFJD!!! Bonus content: B is, in fact, not the murderer, instead a vampire on a mission to track down the monster, same as DR. small towns give me honey moon vibes and I??? am so down for some kinky, albeit eventually fluffy romance between people who are trying to make it work. I actually have a doc for both TBD characters and a location. None of this is set in stone, so please share your thoughts.

  A doesn’t have any memories of their life, only being conscious and staring down at a mutilated body in a ditch. When they meet B, they learn why; welcome to limbo, they say. You just died. A has unfinished business; finding out who murdered them, why, and what else is holding them here. B is a reaper intent on helping lost souls pass over-- they were never born, and A shows them the delights of life before it’s taken. B learns to love A, and A doesn’t want to leave limbo. While A’s soul is clinging between realities, B must make a pivotal decision; squeezing tight on the concept of love, and letting A go. (BONUS!! REINCARNATION; A & B ARE GIVEN THE GIFT OF LIVING AGAIN, TOGETHER.)

  Coming of age story between two childhood friends who are separated by circumstance, and after ten years, reunite and learn that your first love doesn’t have to be the one that got away.

  Two friends drop their whole lives to go on a road trip once they turn thirty-- they elope together, leaving their unhappy lives behind them and in this grand scheme of mental breakdowns and tearful smiles, they find that love may be the only cure to a broken existence.

  In a post-apocalyptic world where a pandemic has killed off most living species, Character A is a lone wolf with little to do with other people that don't benefit him, except for a select few. A is especially rough around the edges, as he's lived through some sick shit and lived to tell the tale. A had once been part of a group dedicated to finding a cure, but things went south, and a lot of people died. A had a close bond with the leader of said group, and coincidentally they were the only survivors.  Their past together, having been deeply demented and twisted, caused them to fall out. Said leader has rebuilt a new group in the ten years since the last time they'd seen A. Character B is the only known immune person alive, and has dedicated their life to being a resource to finding a cure. A and his (current) contact/partner in crime have something taken from them, and are determined to get it back. They do some searching, and are confronted with this group-- they have what they need, but are only willing to give it to them for a favor in return. No one can outrun their past forever. (Last of Us-inspired!)

  An architect/treasure hunter is being funded an expedition to find a lost treasure and they are forced to bring along a reporter in order to receive the funds. the reporter and architect certainly don't get along in the beginning— they bicker, and clash on most fronts. the expedition wasn't meant to be dangerous. what was initially thought to be a simple job turned into something treacherous; bandits, a team of hired hitmen and their leader looking to take the treasure for themselves, and some rather supernatural elements that they both couldn't quite put a finger on. the treasure hunter and the reporter have to work together to get out of this alive, and get to the artifact before someone else does.

..and many more!! Thanks so much! If you've read through, please contact me at dotiscat@gmail.com and mention kiwi somewhere in your email. n_n

Rhys xoxo

[randomfandominserts]

Sirius Black X Reader - Cold Autumn Nights

HELLO I HAVEN’T POSTED ANYTHING SINCE LIKE 2016 BUT IT’S FINE. 

So backstory to this story!!! I started writing it in November when I literally got my heartbroken (a lot of the dialogue is like,,, almost verbatim lmao) and then I opened my Drive today and said “I’m going to write shit” so I opened this up, renamed it something cuter, and finished typing it up! Yeah. So I have another Sirius Black thing coming up, a Peter Parker thing I started, and a Zuko thing coming (those are the things I am working on literally rn), so stay tuned (i’m digging the Parker one so if you like Tom Holland and Spiderman be ready). Okay I’ve talked a lot please enjoy Cold Autumn Nights (aka Budzoned)!!!

Word Count: 1820

Have you heard of the Friendzone? Wait, of course you have. Everyone has.

But have you ever heard of the Budzone? It was a thing you didn’t even realize existed until now. It was almost friends with benefits, but worse. It was almost dating, but not. It was nearly the friendzone, but not quite. Basically, it was hell, and you had no clue what you had done to Sirius Black to deserve this.

But let’s start from the beginning of the story. It was a cold October night in Hogsmeade, and it seemed as though you and Sirius were the only two there. You were close, of course, that’s how you ended up walking alone in the beautiful town. You only had a couple hours left before you were required to go back to Hogwarts, and you were making the most of it.

“My hands are freezing,” Sirius had said, rubbing them together.

“Really?” you asked, a small smile on your face.

“Really,” the boy replied, dropping his hands back to his side.

“How cold though?” Sirius raised his hand in response to your question, holding it out for you to feel. You placed your hand on his, nodding your head as you caught his gaze. “That’s pretty cold,” you noted. You turned your head away, dropping the eye-contact you had been maintaining, but you kept your hand on his and, in a moment of confidence, slowly intertwined your fingers. To your surprise he didn’t pull away, and instead pulled you closer to him.

Later you two were talking. Sirius admitted that he had stopped seeing and flirting with girls because of you. “I get why whenever I’m with you,” he had told you, giving you that small smile that made your heart flutter.

That night was like a dream.

Though you two still talked often and were still very close friends, you only acted on the feelings you had admitted to having for each other on cold Autumn nights in Hogsmeade, when it seemed as though you were the only two there. You were fine with it until you kissed one November night. To you, the kiss meant the world. It was like a fairytale moment with sparks flying and butterflies in your stomach and happiness in your heart.

But, to you the kiss wasn’t enough. Sure, you two were basically dating. You went on dates and did all the couple-y stuff. You told each other secrets and trusted each other with the world, but that wasn’t enough. You wanted to know for sure that you were dating, or if whatever it was that you had going on was just a fling. So, you decided to confront Sirius about it. After all, the worse thing that could happen would be him saying he didn’t want labels, right?

Wrong.

“Hey, Sirius, can we talk?” You caught up with the boy after class one day. You barely had the courage to start this conversation, but you needed to get it off your chest. It had been nearly 3 weeks since the kiss and the suspense was killing you.

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Well you like me right?” Sirius nodded his head. “And I like you. So, what are we?” Sirius stopped walking and looked at you. You couldn’t make out what his expression meant, and it was killing you.

“I mean… we’re buds,” he said after a while. “We just hold hands and stuff.”

“Buds who hold hands and stuff. Okay.”

“What are we to you?” You just shrugged.

“I don’t know. That’s why I asked.” You gave him a weak smile. “I’ll see you later.”

Of course “later” ended up being the next brisk, Autumn night. The next trip to Hogsmeade. And though you told yourself you wouldn’t play his games, you found yourself holding his hand, caressing his cheek, kissing his lips, despite the fact that you knew deep down he wasn’t in this for the long run.

After that night, a rush of adrenaline (or maybe some unwanted courage) had you deciding you would approach Sirius Black soon and ask, no, demand, that you be made official. So, after the last class of the day, as all the students were rushing from their classes to wherever they pleased, you walked beside Sirius.

“You know, I’ve been thinking-”

“Blimey, you?” Sirius grinned at you, waiting for you to laugh and push him and say, “Oh, shut up!” like always, but it didn’t come.

“I’ve been thinking,” you started again, “And normally, when two people like each other, they date.” Sirius’ grin almost disappeared. “So, I was thinking, maybe we should-”

“Look, (Y/N), I’d rather not get into that right now,” he said briskly, before turning the corner and leaving you alone.

“Oh. Alright,” you said, calling after his receding form. You stood alone in the middle of the busy hallway, tears threatening to spill from your eyes, but you shook it off and walked to the library to clear your thoughts.

Not even 24 hours later, you heard a familiar voice calling your name.

“(Y/N)! Can we talk?” You tried to act like he hadn’t just torn your heart out 24 hours ago, but nodded and gave him a smile.

“Sure, Sirius. What’s up?”

“Sorry I blew you off yesterday. I was just really trying to catch Regulus before he vanished to wherever he does, you know?” Ah, so that’s why he was so distant when you tried to talk to him.

“It’s fine. So, can you talk now?”

“Talk? About what, exactly?”

“Um, us, I guess?”

“Okay.” You quickly took a seat on the bench that was nearby, Sirius following en suite.

“So, you never really answered me. Shouldn’t we be dating? I mean, we basically already are and-”

“Well, if we basically are, then what’s the difference?”

“…What?”

“What would be the difference?”

“I mean…” He had caught you off guard with that one.. “I guess there really is no difference. But if there’s no difference, why can’t we be, you know, official?” Sirius was looking past you at this point, not at you, but you were too focused on the subject at hand to glance back to where he was looking.

“Look, what’s wrong with what we’re doing now? I take you on a couple dates, we’re free to talk to other people, then if we want to later on we can date.”

“I… what?” You shook your head, confused by what he was saying. You thought he liked you, for God’s sake. What was with this “talk to other people” business? As you stared at Sirius, you finally took a moment to turn around, only to see 2 girls standing behind you. One, a 7th year Ravenclaw, was giving Sirius some serious love eyes. And Sirius, apparently, was returning the favor. “Sirius, I like you. But secret rendezvous while you flirt with other girls is not exactly what I had in mind.”

“I guess you just don’t want to like the idea.”

“No. I just don’t like the idea.” You stood from the bench, slinging your bag over your arm a little too aggressively. Without another word from either you or Sirius, you stormed off.

After a couple weeks of ignoring Sirius, the boy approached you during class.

“It kills me that you’re ignoring me.” When you didn’t answer, he continued. “Look, I’m sorry that we wanted different things. If you need time, I’ll give you it. If you need space, I’ll give you it. But I just need to know that we’re going to be friends again. You used to be one of my closest friends, (Y/N).” You sighed and glanced up at him.

“I guess I’ve been overreacting… slightly.” Sirius smiled.

“Truce?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Want to hang out tomorrow? Library, after Potions?”

“You know me, I love the library.” And that was that. You anxiously waited for your library date with Sirius, as you were definitely not over the boy. He had stolen your heart, and been the first to do so in quite a while. You believed that maybe he could change for you.

The next day, as you sat in the library, the clock ticked on. It was 3, then 4, then 5, and yet no signs of Sirius appeared. Suddenly, someone sat in front of you, and you glanced up eagerly…

Only to link eyes with Remus.

“Oh. Hello Remus. I was expecting-”

“Sirius?”

“Well, yes.”

“He’s not coming, (Y/N). Surely you would have realized that by now.”

“But he invited me…”

“He also invited a 7th year Ravenclaw to an empty classroom after Potions.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what else to say. It was like you had been hit with a hammer for the second time in a month, right in the chest. You didn’t know what to do and certainly didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t get involved with him, (Y/N). All he ever does is play games.” Remus reached a hand out, placing his on yours in an attempt to comfort you. He could see the tears forming in your eyes. “Everything is a game to him. He enjoys the chase.” You quickly pulled away from Remus, using the hand to wipe your eyes. This was not happening, not again.

“No. No, Sirius said-”

“Sirius says a lot of things. But I’m here, as his friend and yours, to tell you that whatever he said was just a part of the game. His game. And you’ve lost.” Remus stood, reaching over to place a hand on your shoulder. “You’re so nice. Too nice for this. I’m sorry you got involved with Sirius.”

“Me, too.” The tears were streaming down your face, and you couldn’t tell if you were sad or angry or both. But what you did know was that everything you felt for the past few months was real. It infuriated you, however, to know that what Sirius had felt the past few months could have been fake. Completely fabricated, all for the sake of his stupid game.

You wouldn’t let him win, though. You couldn’t. You carried on with your life, happy as a bug. You smiled, you ignored Sirius, and you acted as though nothing had affected the state of your heart. Sirius Black was simply a faint memory. He had left a wound, but all that remained was a scar.

December came and went. Then January, and February. March was a blur, and suddenly it was April, and you weren’t wearing jackets on your Hogsmeade trips. Every weekend, every time you visited Hogsmeade, you passed Sirius with another girl. You would try not to glance his way, but couldn’t help but look every time he passed you with a new girl. He would never look your way, though.

It was almost as though he had forgotten those cold, Autumn nights.

[hittcr-a]

RULES.  repost, don’t reblog. tag ten whatever. TAGGED. @milehighmechanic TAGGING. @bennogaldaan, @gcnivss, @popcultureliedtoyou, @executiie, @phencyclidinc, @thawedhcart?? idk everybody

BASICS.

FULL NAME. (assumed tbh i still haven’t decided if that’s his real name) Eliot Spencer NICKNAME. Eliot, El (only if you’re real lucky), Spencer, dog AGE.  44 (main verse) BIRTHDAY. May 1st 1973 ETHNIC GROUP.  white american NATIONALITY.  american (deep cherokee roots that he’s getting back in touch with) LANGUAGE.  english, farsi, arabic, hebrew, german, asl, a little french, a little italian, croatian SEXUAL ORIENTATION. bi, but in most verses he’s extremely closeted.  RELATIONSHIP STATUS. single (verse dependent tho) CLASS. high class, but he lives like upper middle class (he’s a money hoarder) HOME TOWN / AREA. chickasaw, oklahoma CURRENT HOME. portland, oregon  PROFESSION. former: military, hitman for hire, assassin, retrieval specialist, militia for hire.  current: retrieval specialist, hitter, guard dog, keeper of the baes for leverage international. 

PHYSICAL.

HAIR. dark brown. EYES. bright blue NOSE. straight FACE. square face, pointed chin, defined jaw LIPS. average, pink usually kinda chapped COMPLEXION. tanned on most occassions BLEMISHES. mostly just scars SCARS. lip scar, scar over (but not into) his right eyebrow, various bullet holes and stab wounds all over his body. shrapnel scar over left shoulder from an ied (old), scarring over his knee (also old), bear trap scars over his right ankle and into his calf. TATTOOS. a wolf and moon on right ankle. falcon on left ankle with wings to knee. HEIGHT. 5′9″. WEIGHT.  180b BUILD.  he’s built like a wall. solid, muscular. FEATURES. long hair, goatee, charming smile ALLERGIES. none. USUAL HAIR STYLE. long and straight USUAL CLOTHING.  long sleeve button-ups (usually plaid or floral printed), an under shirt (usually a solid color, sometimes a henley), boot cut light wash jeans, and muddy steel-toed work boots. usually he has at least 3 knives on him too. 

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR. caring too much, losing the people he cares for (it will always be his fault if something happens to them), reverting back to the man he used to be, moreau, overly large crowds, being manipulated again. ASPIRATION. to do some good on his way down to hell. POSITIVE TRAITS. smart, quick-thinking, a do-er, extremely loyal (to a fault honestly) NEGATIVE TRAITS. quick to anger, overly physical in some instances, snippy, extremely untrusting VICE HABIT. sometimes he sneaks a cigarette. he’s trying to quit though. FAITH. former christian turned agnostic. GHOSTS? he’s certainly haunted. night and day. it never quits. he does have superstitions though. he’s seen things. and he’s got a lucky charm too. AFTERLIFE? his christian upbringing has him firmly believing in a hell regardless of whether or not there actually is and or whether or not it complies to other religions. and he knows that’s exactly where he’s going. REINCARNATION? nah. ALIENS? yes. he thinks it’s dumb to go about thinking that we’re the only life in the universe. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT. liberal ECONOMIC PREFERENCE.  SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION.  EDUCATION LEVEL. he graduated high school. technically attended a culinary college for two years as well. most of his education is through independent research, reading books, and or military training and teaching. 

FAMILY.

FATHER. David MOTHER. deceased, Sarah Jean SIBLINGS.  a younger brother (Baxter) and a younger sister (Mary Anne) EXTENDED  FAMILY. he’s got an uncle in Santa Barbra and a cousin named Shawn who works for the SBPD. (dAMMIT LET ME HAVE IT) NAME MEANING.  Eliot means ‘The Lord is my God’ and Spencer means ‘steward’ which. That last part suits Eliot now, and the first part suited Eliot when he was real religious. HISTORICAL CONNECTION. nothing from his family, but he helped liberate croatia and has admitted to being behind the scenes when it comes to other big tide-changing events in history.

FAVOURITES.

BOOKS. honestly eliot will read just about anything. he likes westerns though and mystery books. MOVIES. westerns, noirs, documentaries, anything about food or travel, war docs. MUSIC. folk, country, bluegrass, rock, classic rock, sometimes classical DEITY. he doesn’t worship anybody anymore. HOLIDAY.  eh. he likes thanksgiving because (now that he has a family lmao) there’s a lot of food to be made. MONTH.  july SEASON.  summer PLACE. he likes egypt.  WEATHER. hot and dry. clear skies. a light breeze.  SOUND. running water, birds chirping, hardison’s laugh, parker’s whoop of delight, keys jangling, the purr of the engine in his challenger, dogs barking, also children having a good time.  SCENT.  fresh cut grass, smoke, rain, cooking meat. TASTE. anything fresh. tomatoes and cilantro and garlic. blackberries, ripe. fresh bread. FEEL. cotton. soft leather jackets, cool grass, fine sand ANIMAL. he likes dogs. NUMBER. 3 COLOR. red

EXTRA.

TALENTS. walking encyclopedia of different weaponry, rained in several different forms of martial arts, stealthy, very damn good at clearing rooms and or buildings of hostiles. he’s gotten better at grifting, and picking locks, knocking people out, macguyvering his way outta things. BAD AT. letting himself care, computers, honestly anything technical (he has a little bit of talent but honestly he wants hardison to use his big brain most of the time) TURN ONS. people who can beat him in a fight, confidence (but not too much lbr), people who aren’t afraid of him, people excelling in their field, PASSION TURN OFFS. being lied to, being conned, being underestimated by those he is trying to help. HOBBIES. gardening, cooking, working on cars, training at a gym, sometimes playing and singing at bars because sometimes he just has to. TROPES. angry silent type, bad ass with fisticuffs. mysterious past. well rounded and experienced. skilled with a knife. underestimated tank. big and angry with a heart of gold. mamma bear. AESTHETICS.  bloody knuckles, homemade meals, smile crinkles at the corners of eyes, turquoise and silver jewelry, butterfly knives.

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC. Christian Kane ALT  FC. - OLDER  FC.   - undetermined (it’s hard tbh and i haven’t used ‘get off my lawn’ eliot yet) YOUNGER  FC. - still haven’t settled. right now i use christian kane in angel a lot. VOICE  CLAIM.  Christian Kane

[reyheyy]

lol get 2 know me binch

How are you doing today? I am tired af but pretty good I suppose

How tall are you? 5'6” and a quarter apparently. Fun fact I went 2 the doctor last year and the nurse woman was like “how tall r u” and I was like 5'7” lol and she was like ok haha binch you thought!!!! you're only 5'6” AND A QUARTER!!! and she was actin like it was soooo funny and I was like ???????/// im taller than you??????

What color are your eyes? blueeee

What is your zodiac sign? Leo!!!

When is your birthday? August 16th

What is your sexual orientation? Str8 as heck

Do you have/want any tattoos? Noooo don't want any. It would hurt 2 bad plus I dont think theres anything I wanna put on my body forever ya know

Do you have/want any piercings? My ears have been pierced 3 times and I dont want any more piercings

Who is your best friend? Parker, emily, & tara:))) my children

What makes you happy? Oh goodness lets see ummmm broadway musicals, cute boys, food!!!, sleeping, glee, fuzzy socks, shopping sprees, christmas, mcdonald's omg, and uhhhh dick

What are your top 5 favorite bands? Idk if I even have a top 5????? I dont listen to many bands anymore. I first went thru this super 60s obsessed phase where I only listened to the beatles and bands that sound like the beatles. Then when I was like 14 I was SUPER angsty and I went through this mildly pop punk phase and I actually liked 5sos wtf. And I got really into arctic monkeys and I wore black all the time and thought I was kool and grew out my hair as an act of rebellion and it was weird. Now I basically listen to show tunes and one direction, soooo yeah

What are your top 5 favorite songs? Hmmm  uhhhhh ok lets see 5. only the good die young – billy joel, 4. imagine – john lennon, 3. across the universe – the beatles, 2. changes – david bowie, 1. vienna – billy joel. If ya couldnt tell, I like billy joel

What are your favorite song lyrics right now? Dang I really dont know

What are your top 5 favorite movies? Hoooo boi. Ok 5. pretty in pink, 4. roman holiday, 3. back to the future, 2. almost famous, 1. the breakfast club

What are your top 5 favorite TV shows? Oh my goodness ur killin me with these top 5s bro!!! ok 5. that 70s show, 4. the office, 3. parks & rec, 2. glee, 1. friends. p.s. Please dont judge me for loving glee lmao

Favorite blog? Mine bitch!!!! the Fuck!!!

Favorite color? pink

Favorite book? The world according to garp by john irving

Favorite animal? I love all animals I dont discriminate

Favorite food? Ummmmmmmmm idk I eat a lot of salad

Are you a vegetarian? You would think so based on my last answer but no

Biggest pet peeve? Loud chewing. ughhhhhhhhhh

Are you single? Sighhhh yeah

How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 :)

Describe your crush? His name is harry styles

Describe your dream girl/guy? Uh harry styles

Who was the last person you held hands with? Like probably one of my little sisters

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My mom and me had the DEEPEST conversation 2day just about life and whatnot it was gr8

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Oh goodness yes

Random fact about yourself? I auditioned for americas got talent when I was 9 lol

Do you play any instruments? noooooo

What are you bad habits? Cracking my knuckles, watching glee, getting my hopes up

Do you smoke, drink or do any drugs? Nope!!!!

Are you outgoing or shy? Depends, really. I think most ppl would say im shy:)

Do you have trust issues? Not really no

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Absolutely not!! honestly I am an open book when it comes to stuff like that. Just doesnt bother me idk

Where are you from? South georgia hahahahahahahgross

Where would you like to travel? Literally to anywhere but south georgia

Have you ever been arrested? Nope not yet

What pisses you off? People who are unnecessarily loud. Like....every time I go to school im just reminded of how much I cant stand super loud people like omg just shut up close ya mouth

What turns you on? Literally everything any hot guy does I mean im 17 my hormones are RAGIN and my sex drive is thru the roof ok

What does the most recent text that you sent say? It says, “it's cloudy here now!!! The Fuck!!!”

Do you believe in luck and miracles? Luck, yes. Miracles, no

Do you believe in life on other planets? Hell yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! if u dont, u a lil stupit

Do you believe in love at first sight? Ummmmmmm nah

Do you believe in ghosts? no. after we die our thoughts and our consciousness transfers to a different universe, duh

Are you afraid of the dark? nah

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my nose (C:

Do you sleep with stuffed animals? ….............................................who wants to know

Do you regret anything from your past? Im sure I do but I cant think of anything rn