#and adding a layer of frustration because you know what's REALLY happening and this idiot DOESN'T and keeps making decisions

[danmeichael]

"shen qingqiu is a liar who is lying about his feelings so we can't ACTUALLY tell how he feels about anything"

so you admit that you can tell he is lying and by extension you can actually discern what his true feelings on the matter are and that he's just unwilling to admit to them.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary29

10/3-4/2023

nothing much. we'll cover all the rugs with cheap perfume.

nothing much happened today, i recorded little pieces for 2 songs, i got to do the super noisy stuff i wanted to do for the remaster of the single i put out, plus i added some screaming, and i added new vocal layers/replaced some/removed some for the next single. that's exciting, i think now the kicks are too loud in that song, and maybe i could bring the bass up a touch.

so much of this is like, touch and go, tomorrow i don't know what i'm gonna do, probably one of the new short songs, and then, i guess i'll see about one of the songs that i think needs a lot of work re: guitars and just throw vocals onto that to try, since i have them written.

my gf wants to go to another drag thing tomorrow so i need to be up earlier and stuff, today we're going to see a queen who almost won last season of rupaul's. it feels strange talking about it, because only from her has it leaked into my life. or i dunno. leak in makes it sound negative, when you live with someone, your interests get all over each other. i think i'm quieter about my stuff, so it's like, only sometimes i talk about whatever, but there's stuff that's just always involved with me that's probably been passed off to her and i don't even realize really. i think i basically like that she's exposed me to drag race so much because it is funny, it's just weird because it's demonstrably kind of commodified a whole part of queer history, and rupaul was there for it, which makes it more complex. looking at old drag magazines and stuff, the definitions were a lot blurrier, they were host to a lot of people who did want to transition essentially, and then people who were like "i'm whatever" also (and in film too you can see this, where it's a blurry undefined thing (meaning what anyone is (thinking in particular about funeral parade of roses (you can see in my eye makeup that i draw my lashes on cuz of that movie)))). it's not that this blurriness every went away or something but there's more lines separating what things are what is for who and so on. maybe that's because i've just been put in a box myself, by the people i've been sorted into being around online (this sounds miserable over it or something, all i am lamenting is maybe a lack of perspective) make greater efforts to delineate and say, over there is that type of person, over here we stand, when there's blurriness, it's different, and so on. it's a frustrating thing, whatever the case.

it's also weird because rupaul basically sucks, but i think it's kind of great, some seasons of the show, it's essentially takeshi's castle for drag queens, it's totally psychotic at points. i'm kind of sad my gf caught up because hearing about what goes on in the show (i couldn't see at a certain point really because he speakers got fucked up somehow and we don't know what to do other than buy new ones at some point) was genuinely super fun/made me happy.

anyways i think my favorite queen was probably alaska . probably an annoying pick but she is kind of a skinny legend.

i didn't read today, but, i dunno, i'm dumb i guess, i feel really stupid, kind of, i dunno. i always worry about being really an idiot.

so i guess, coming off of the feeling like an idiot, to feel more like an idiot, one thing i'm excited about is this one guy's tradition every year of playing a silent hill game on his yt channel, and this year he's gotten to something truly awful, homecoming. i don't know why i'm so excited for that, it's been years since i've seen anyone play that game in full, since i was a kid, back then even i was mega obsessed with the other sh games, but i also had no real sense of quality, so it had cool creatures that were mottled flesh and vaguely tortured, and familial discomfiture, that at least spoke to me, nothing on the level of all of sh1, 2 and 3, but it was like, a strange update on it all and that connected even at the time. what i'm seeing now, is i how strangely it reflected a pretty exact atmosphere of the time, the directing of cutscenes is, much more than anything else, inflicted with so much bullshit prestige tv runoff but directed wrong, and also, saw. the game is so saw, to the point of not understanding anything about sh really beyond few moments, which makes it fascinating. there's this part where alex is in a fucked up elevator and it squeals and shakes and stuff, awful noises are issued, and a huge knife comes through the door and kills him, final destination shit. it's like the game missed the parts of fire walk with me that featured totally broken quotidian things, the eruption of the faulting and failing into daily life, the wailing elevator isn't a horror device, it's simply real life magnified, ending it with a death like that destroys its ability to refer to the tiniest, most forgettable wounds in our daily life, the fear at a world at the edge of not working constantly, and a world that's hostile not because of unseen forces, but because of what we see, its regular operation unmasked as abject/grotesque, or not even unmasked, felt and expressed. so the game fails to be about america in all the subtle ways silent hill was originally (thinking about the billboard in sh2 that says "your ad here" in the sequence where you go to the historical society thru the town). it also misses all the ero-guro art connections and all the game's love affairs w/ the surrealists (bacon + bellmer an obv example but i'd say, sincerely, the first 3/4 end up having artaud and bataille in them, if only by receiving them thru ero guro artist interpretations of those works). instead it trades all that in for a baffling emphasis on wanting to be like the tv show lost (another legendarily bad game was cut from this same cloth, that reboot of alone in the dark). anyways sorting through all this is a joy for me a bit, and also, the ways the game feels like it hits on something meaningful (its posing of regular american christianity as a cult (the games prior do this too but this one feels really so on the nose, but that produces an interesting effect)) or even insightful, it feels like steps away from being a game about evangelical rapture panic and preppers or something. instead it trades in undercurrents in mass culture for attempts at the personal that fail, because it doesn't seem interested in its characters really. it's also such a dude-ist game, the nurses and the military stuff, so weird.

anyways that person who does that yearly is supergreatfriend. i don't know why i like his stuff so much. maybe it's because he's the only guy on yt with a playthru of illbleed that's any good. i love that game, it's also kind of genius. i miss how freely abject horror games used to be, not just gory or scary, but abject, where everything is exaggerated and filthy, not because like, that's scary, but because that's how you feel in a supermarket or mall or hospital for real or something, pr thinking of rule of rose, that's how social reality felt, that cruel and perverse. the exaggeration is only a tool to get you back there, in memory, again. it feels largely gone, maybe because the hd era prevents that level of exaggeration sitting beside "realism" like it used to be able. i dunno. the cheap and trash-like was so much more palpably present in those old games, for me at least, the stuff that for regular operation, had to be ignored, despite its constant presence, facts of life left to anterooms in your head, thoughts forced into being dead ends or whatever. i'd love to figure out why everything feels so much cleaner now. beyond how it's achieved, the cleanliness, i mean in particular why people decided against what was. it felt perfectly capable of approaching what actually unsettled us and prodding us towards reconciliation (not redemption, if anything, an embrace of these horrors/ embrace of the fact of horror, and then the turn away from the sanitary).

everything i like is like that, like books and stuff, i'm always on about that when you let me, but it's october, so i'm allowed, right. well i'll just keep doing it forever i guess, cuz i'm a broken record.

it's just so pretty to me. like yes, my life does feel like spirit halloween all the time, total dirty vomitrocity.

and stuff like this is just unbelievable i think.

this got me on flickr looking at hans bellmer stuff, rarer scans i've not got and also other stuff people tagged as related. i found quite an insane doll artist on there, who took some of the most uncanny photos ever it seems like.

i would like to use these somehow, in something, they're too evocative to not i think. the smudgy digital photography and the near-human figures, it's just so near my heart/how i feel.

anyways i'm stupid , stupid tired. i accidentally typed tied, instead of tied.

anyways, byebye!!

[you-didnt-see-that-cuming]

Shy Glances | George Weasley x Reader

Summary: George Weasley was quite possibly the most perfect man to ever exist. He’s smart, funny, charming, and incredibly handsome. Pansy Parkinson has known about her roommate and best friend, Y/N’s crush on George for while, watching her do nothing about it. Pansy decides that it’s time for her to take matters into her own hands and quite literally pushes the two of them together with the help of Fred Weasley. All they really did was speed fate up a little bit. 

Warnings: Smut towards the end

Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: This took me a while to finish, it was a request from an anon so I’m hoping that I did their vision justice! This ended up being over 28 pages so it’s a nice long one for you guys!

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Ever since Umbridge had taken over teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, spirits at Hogwarts were not exactly high. The only things that managed to put a smile on anyone’s face were the Weasley twins’ ridiculous pranks and the weekend trips to Hogsmeade. Occasionally, a loud explosion would go off in a nearby hallway, followed closely by the shrieking of Umbridge and the smiles of students who had witnessed whatever had happened.

Despite the twins being identical, Y/N had always had a crush on George. Fred always seemed to be the one to start the chaos that followed them around, but there was something different about George, he was more compassionate, he genuinely cared about other people. The Hogsmeade weekend before the beginning of the Christmas holidays was the subject of almost everyone’s conversations. It had snowed for almost two days straight and Christmas decorations were already being erected around the castle, only adding to the general feeling of excitement. 

Y/N was feeling excited for a whole other reason. The Hogsmeade trips were some of the only chances she had to see George. Being in different houses and years complicated things, and staring throughout mealtimes wasn’t exactly subtle. 

The morning of the trip to Hogsmeade, Y/N and Pansy were woken up abruptly to the sound of feet running down the hallway towards the common room. 

“Damn! What time is it?” Pansy grumbled. She wasn’t exactly a morning person and interrupting her sleep was not a good way to get on her good side. She stretched her hand out to the bedside table and blindly felt around for her watch. Bringing it up to her eyes, Pansy suddenly turned her face into her pillow and screamed in frustration. 

Y/N tried to blink the sleep from her eyes, staring up at the velvet green canopy above the bed. It was dark in the room, the heavy curtains that had been drawn the night before, blocking out the sunlight from the windows at the top of the high ceiling. The only light currently in the room came from the crackling fireplace in the corner across from their beds and the strings of fairy lights that they had taken from the Great Hall to liven the place up. Rolling onto her side to face Pansy, who had now waved her wand to light some of the lamps that were scattered around the room, Y/N yawned loudly and stretched her arms over her head. 

“It is absolutely disgusting that we have to be awake this early, absolutely no respect for other people,” Pansy continued grumbling about her disturbed sleep as she swept the covers dramatically to the side. 

The fire began glowing a little brighter once Pansy’s feet touched the rug covered floor. Y/N soon swung her legs off the bed before sliding out from under the heavy comforter. Pansy flicked her wand and the curtains swished open. It was snowing heavily, and by the looks of it, it had been snowing through the night. There was already a substantial layer of snow on the bottom of the window sill. 

“C’mon, we better get going before everyone leaves without us.” Pansy had already pulled on a pair of jeans and was sliding a black turtleneck over her head. Y/N walked over to her trunk and began pulling items out. 

“What should I wear? I was thinking a sweater, I want to stay warm.” Y/N held up a cream fisherman’s sweater for Pansy to look at.

“Ooh, you need to wear that one, you always look pretty in it. George is going to love it on you.” Pansy smirked at that last bit, dodging a rogue pillow that Y/N threw at her head. 

“We don’t even know if he’ll be at Hogsmeade today,” Y/N looked down and began fiddling with the hem of the sweater she was holding. “Besides, I heard that he was interested in Alicia Spinnet, they’re always at Quidditch practice together.” 

“Just get dressed will you? You’re being ridiculous. I’m going to brush my teeth, I’ll wait for you in the common room.” Pansy pulled a sherpa jacket around her shoulders and a knit hat before she swept out of the room leaving Y/N to herself. 

Y/N sighed and pulled the sweater over her head. Pansy was right, she did always look good in that sweater, especially when she wore it with something green to make her eyes pop. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pansy was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Y/N finally walked into the common room. 

“Agh! It’s about time! Let’s go, the last group is leaving in a few minutes.” 

The two girls hurried out of the common room and up through the stairs of the dungeons. Once they had reached the courtyard where the last Hogsmeade group was congregating, Pansy pulled Y/N close to her side and whispered into her ear.

“Listen, I spoke to some people and they said that George is definitely going to Hogsmeade today. This is your chance to actually say something to him!”

Y/N opened her mouth to respond to Pansy when her eyes fell on George Weasley jogging into the courtyard next to Harry Potter and his brother Ron. He was laughing at something Harry had said as he ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back carelessly. He was in a maroon sweatshirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his wand loosely grasped in his left hand. He began twirling them across his fingers before Y/N forced herself to turn around.

“You alright? You look like you’re about to be sick,” Pansy asked. She hadn’t seen George walk into the courtyard yet. 

Y/N shook her head and straightened her back. She put a smile on her face and turned to Pansy.

“I am absolutely fine!”

Pansy had a frown on her face as she studied Y/N’s reaction. Once she had seen George over Y/N’s shoulder, her face dawned in realization.

“You absolute idiot, I thought you were dying for a second, what’s wrong with you?” Pansy lightly punched Y/N’s shoulder. 

Y/N began making excuses when Professor McGonagall’s voice rang out around the courtyard. 

“Could I have everyone’s attention? Now, this is the last trip to Hogsmeade before the winter recess and I expect everyone to be on their best behavior. I don’t want to have to send an owl to anyone’s parents after today so let’s not ruin a nice holiday,” She gave a pointed look towards George, who only smiled brightly in response. “Alright, remember to be back at the castle by 6 o’clock, promptly!”

People began filing out of the courtyard and walking down the path to get to the main road that led into Hogsmeade. Pansy looped her arm around Y/N’s, pulling her close into her side. 

“I want to stay warm, I wasn’t built for cold weather.” Pansy was shivering, even through the heavy jacket she was wearing. She looked down at Y/N’s outfit with a hint of jealousy. “Ugh, I wish I had thought of wearing corduroy trousers, my legs are freezing. I like that color on you though, house pride and all that.”

Y/N was wearing some green corduroy pants, the cream sweater she had pulled from her trunk, and one of her Slytherin scarfs that her mother had knit for her a few years before. She unwrapped the scarf from her neck and placed it around Pansy’s shoulders. 

“Here, wear this if you’re so cold then.”

Pansy smiled and squinted her eyes shut.

“Ooh, thank youuuuu! You know I love you right? This is why we’re best friends.”

“Why, because I give you my clothes when you’re cold?” Y/N asked, laughing a little.

“Yes, was that not clear from the moment we met?” Pansy’s serious tone didn’t match her smiling face. Hogsmeade was slowly coming into sight down the hill. 

“C’mon, I want to get some Fizzing Whizbees and Chocolate Frogs, we can go get a butterbeer to warm up a little after that,” Pansy started running down the hill, pulling Y/N along as they ran past the rest of the group and made a bee-line to Honeydukes. 

Honeydukes was one of the best places to visit in Hogsmeade. There was no better sweets shop in all of England, the entire place was filled to the brim with different assortments of candies and chocolates. For Christmas, the entire place was decorated in red, white, and green decorations and the air smelled like gingerbread and caramel. Needless to say, it was difficult to not be in the Christmas spirit once you walked into the shop.

Y/N was looking through the different flavors of licorice ropes when Pansy began drawing her attention to the two different types of chocolate frogs they had that she was pretending to be interested in. 

Pansy’s eyes glittered in the way they usually did whenever she was planning something mischievous, but before Y/N could say anything, Pansy’s hands collided with her shoulders and shoved her backwards.

Y/N stumbled back a few steps before she crashed up against someone.

“Oof!” Y/N felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. “Oh my god, I am so so sorr-” Y/N stopped apologizing as she turned around and looked up to see whose chest it was that she had just slammed into. To her surprise, she was soon staring into the eyes of George Weasley. 

George had a surprised look on his face before a mischievous smile took its place. Now that Y/N was this close to him, she could smell his cologne. It was intoxicating. Notes of evergreen and birch smoke wafted across his chest and Y/N felt her knees go weak. 

“Oh you don’t have to apologize, I should have been watching where I was going,” George’s eyes narrowed a little, the smile still present on his face. “I don’t think I know your name. I’m George, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Uh, my name is Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well.”

It was quiet for a few seconds as the two stared at one another before Pansy suddenly appeared next to Y/N.

“Hey, are you ready to go? I want a butterbeer.”

“Um, what?” Y/N asked, a little dazed. She didn’t get an answer to her question before Pansy was dragging her by the arm towards the door. Y/N looked back at George, only to find him staring back at her, a confused smile on his face. The two made eye contact for a second before the door slammed shut and he disappeared from view. 

“Oh my god! What the bloody hell was that?! I shove you into him, hoping you’ll take that moment and seduce him with those bedroom eyes you make at him all the time, but no! Instead, you stare at him and become fucking Bambi!”

Y/N gaped at Pansy who was still dragging her down the street. 

“Wha- I do not make bedroom eyes at him!”

Pansy gave her an exasperated look.

“Now I really do need a butterbeer, and you’re paying.” Pansy sighed before they walked into the Three Broomsticks. 

After Pansy had gotten two steaming mugs of butterbeer, the two of them sat down at an empty table in the middle of the tavern. Madam Rosmerta had obviously spared no expense with the decorations and had put up evergreen garlands and red bows across the walls and beams. It was easy to feel comfortable and at home in the Three Broomsticks.

The two girls were chatting aimlessly to distract themselves as they sipped on their butterbeers until the entrance to the tavern blew open. Their eyes were drawn to the door as the Weasley twins walked in, followed closely by Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger. They were shaking snow off of their heads and stomping their boots when Y/N felt Pansy’s hand squish her cheeks and turn her head towards her. 

“Hey! You need to keep it together this time, alright?” Pansy let go of Y/N’s cheeks and went back to her butterbeer as if nothing happened. Y/N was rubbing her cheek when someone cleared their throat.

Standing next to their table, was George, who was towering over the two of them with a kind smile on his face. 

“Hey,” His voice was soft and reminded Y/N of melted caramel and velvet. “I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye back in Honeydukes. I think I’ve seen you around Hogwarts, you’re in my brother’s year, right?”

“Oh! Yeah, I am, we’re in the same Potions class together I’m pretty sure. He’s really nice.”

The two of them stared at one another for a few seconds before Pansy finally broke the silence.

“So! Y/N here was actually just telling me about how much she liked your most recent prank on Umbridge with the firecrackers in her office.”

Seemingly out of nowhere, Fred Weasley appeared right next to George.

“Does she now? Well, I can tell you for a fact, that George was the brains behind that one.”

Fred and Pansy shared a knowing look with one another while Y/N and George both shyly made eye contact. 

“Um, yeah, I thought it was really clever of you guys, I heard that Umbridge was trying to get rid of the smell of it for weeks. She still smells like smoke sometimes in Defense Against the Dark Arts.”

The twins smiled and laughed a little at your response. 

“Yeah, apparently Umbridge spent four hours trying to get rid of it before she gave up,” George said, a little bashfully. 

Fred and George pulled two chairs up to their table and the four continued talking, especially George and Y/N. By the time it was almost time to head back, the two were heavily invested in listening to the other’s voice. The entire walk back to the castle, George and Y/N both fell into a comfortable conversation that ended far too quickly.

They were talking about their favorite books when they reached the entrance to the Great Hall. 

“Unfortunately, this is where I have to leave you, Ms. L/N,” George said in a solemn, posh voice. Y/N smiled.

“I suppose so Mr. Weasley. Until we meet again.” Y/N gave a shy little curtsy in response. George grabbed Y/N’s hand and swept into a deep bow before kissing the top of her hand. 

The two then parted ways, heading to their respective house tables where they continued to sneak glances and stares at one another through the rest of the night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week later, Y/N was still thinking about George. Occasionally, their eyes would meet from across the room in the Great Hall or as they passed by one another in the hallways. It was difficult to think about anything but George. 

However, on the last few days remaining before the winter holidays started, George stopped showing up around school. In fact, all of the Weasleys seemed to have disappeared from Hogwarts. 

By the time the Hogwarts Express came to take everyone back home for the holidays, Y/N had given up on looking for him. Pansy was good at distracting Y/N by coming up with different plans to see each other before school resumed. This distracting continued up until they reached Platform 9 ¾. 

The first three days of the break were peaceful and relaxing, a much-needed change from the O.W.L exams preparation the professors at school had them doing. On the fourth day, Y/N received a large barn owl carrying a letter. It had crashed into one of the closed kitchen windows during breakfast, completely missing the open one right next to it. After making sure that the owl was uninjured and able to stand back up on its feet, Y/N looked at the letter that the owl had been carrying. 

The front of the envelope was addressed to Y/N in a messy scrawl of blue ink. Once she had opened the letter and scanned to the bottom of the page to see who it was from, her eyes widened.

“Sorry, I’ll be right back, this is important.” Y/N quickly excused herself from the table and ran to her room where she leaped onto her bed in order to read the letter thoroughly.

Dear Y/N,

I hope your holiday is going well! I know I had to leave pretty suddenly before the break and I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye or even spend a lot of time with you. Maybe we could spend a Hogsmeade trip together when we get back?

- George Weasley

Once Y/N had read through the letter another three times, just to make sure she had actually read it correctly, she turned and screamed into her pillow. 

After laying there for a few seconds, contemplating what to do next, she quickly ran over to her desk and pulled a piece of parchment and a quill from the drawer. Dipping the quill into the open inkwell that was sitting in front of her, she began writing a letter to Pansy. 

Dear Pansy,

I have just received a letter from George Weasley! He has asked me to spend a Hogsmeade trip with him once we get back to school. How do I respond?! What do I say?

-Y/N

Y/N blew on the page to dry the ink and quickly folded the letter into thirds before shoving it into an envelope and closing it with a wax seal. In green ink, she wrote Pansy’s name and address before rushing back into the kitchen. She would need to send the letter by the family owl, Athena.

“Mum, I’m going to borrow Athena, I have a letter I need to send to Pansy.” Y/N didn’t wait for a response before she opened Athena’s cage and let her hop onto her wrist. She held out the envelope and the owl took it in its beak.

“Take this to Pansy, alright? Make sure she writes back immediately.”

With a muffled hoot, Athena flapped her wings before taking off and soaring out through the window and over the treeline. 

Only a few hours later, Y/N received a response from Pansy. 

Dear Y/N,

I was going to send a Howler with Owlexander, but Mum said I couldn’t. Apparently, Owlexander would get too spooked if the Howler went off mid-flight. SAY YES!! Tell him that you would love to spend a Hogsmeade trip with him and that you are looking forward to it. Also, ask about how he is doing and stuff like that if you want to keep receiving letters from him during the holiday. 

-Pansy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once it was time to return to Hogwarts, Y/N was filled with dread and excitement. On one hand, she would be seeing George for the first time since they had started writing letters to one another. On the other, Umbridge and the other professors would be piling on the homework and O.W.L.s preparation to the point that Y/N probably wouldn’t even be able to enjoy spending time with George. 

Y/N didn’t see George until they were disembarking from the train once they had arrived at Hogsmeade station. He was standing with the rest of his siblings, as well as Hermione and Harry. When the two had finally made eye contact, Y/N gave a shy wave to George. However, once George raised his hand to wave back, Ron’s voice spoke loudly.

“Is that the Slytherin girl you fancy, George?”

Y/N had to stifle a giggle as George’s face went red and he quickly elbowed Ron in the stomach. Y/N felt Pansy’s hand close around hers, pulling her off towards the carriages that were waiting to take the students back up to the castle. Once they had arrived at an available carriage, Y/N began looking around for a familiar glimpse of copper hair but was quickly yanked in. Pansy was yet again ill-prepared for the cold winter weather and was shivering so hard that the seat was almost vibrating. 

“Close the door, I want to keep as much of the warm air in.” Pansy’s sock-clad feet were pushed up against the small metal furnace in the middle of the floor. She gave a smirk as she leaned back against the cushioned seats. “You can invite Weasley to join us if he happens to ‘walk’ by.”

Y/N continued looking out the window, hoping for even the smallest sign of George, but the fogging of the windows only made it more difficult to see anything through the crowd of black robes. 

Soon enough, the carriage was filled with some girls from Ravenclaw who had managed to get a last-minute seat before the carriages began up the path. 

Pansy noticed Y/N’s defeated look and lightly poked her leg.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, you’ll see each other in only a few minutes, then you guys can stare at each other all through dinner.”

Throughout the feast, Y/N and George made eye contact several times which was closely followed by fierce blushes. Their glances couldn’t have been more obvious, and by the time Professor Dumbledore had cleared their plates and dismissed them from the Great Hall, both Pansy and Fred were shoving Y/N and George towards one another so that they could finally talk.

Their paths finally crossed when they walked through the large wooden doors that guarded the entrance to the Great Hall. George pulled Y/N aside and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“Can I walk you back to your dormitory?”

Together, they took the long way down to the dungeons, talking quietly.

“How was your holiday?” Y/N asked once they had started the descent into the dungeons. 

George gave a strained smile in response.

“It was alright, I’m sure you must have heard about my dad and everything.”

Y/N felt a surge of sympathy, her parents had come home from working at the Ministry with the news of what had happened to Mr. Weasley.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry that you all had to go through that. I’m glad he’s alright now, Mum and Dad said that St. Mungos had discharged him.”

“Yeah, we were all really relieved to hear that he was going to be okay. But what about you, how was your holiday?”

“It was alright, nice and relaxing, you know? But it could have been better.”

George had a confused smile on his face at her last comment.

“Oh? How so?”

They had finally reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room when Y/N turned to answer him.

“It would have been better if I had been able to see you.” Y/N then entered the common room and left George with his mouth hanging open slightly in surprise and a vibrant flush across his cheeks. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting in the Astronomy Tower late at night was one of Y/N’s favorite ways to distract herself from the stress of assignments and exams. On nights when Astronomy classes weren’t being held, Y/N would lie on her back and watch the night sky through the enchanted ceiling. Focusing on finding constellations in the silence and stillness was meditative.

It was crisp in the tower, and Y/N choice of sleep shorts and one of Pansy’s silk pajama tops didn’t do much to fend off the cold breeze. Y/N was lost in thought when a sudden knocking on the side of the door alerted her to another person’s presence. She turned to see George leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed across his chest. He was wearing some plaid pajama pants and a loose, black t-shirt. He looked really good in casual clothes like this. The corner of his mouth was turned up slightly in a reassuring smile. 

“Hey,” Y/N said in a soft voice. 

“You don’t mind if I join you, do you?” George asked, taking a few steps into the room. 

Y/N smiled and shook her head.

“Not at all.”

A comfortable silence surrounded them for a brief moment. 

“So what brings you up here this late at night?” George asked, now leaning against one of the window sills. 

“I like to come up and watch the stars, it’s a nice way to relax after a long day.” Y/N looked at him quizzically. “I could ask you the same question, what are you doing up here?”

George laughed quietly before pulling out a piece of parchment from his pajama bottom’s pockets.

“I received an owl at my window with this letter.”

George unfolded the parchment and read aloud.

“Y/N is up in the Astronomy Tower by herself. Go for it.”

Y/N turned to hide the blush that was forming across her face. There was no doubt in her mind that Pansy had sent that letter, she was the only one who knew where Y/N had gone to.

“You know, I wanted to ask you to Hogsmeade earlier, before we left for the holidays.” George was looking at his feet, his hands shoved in his pockets. “I was too scared to ask you when we were in Hogsmeade, I didn’t think you would say yes.”

Y/N studied George’s posture closely. His shoulders were curled in, he seemed to be trying to make himself look as small as possible without being too conspicuous.

“Well now you know that there is nothing to be scared about,” Y/N hesitated before pushing herself away from the wall she was leaning on. “Come and help me get some blankets from the closet, I’m pretty sure Professor Sinistra keeps some extras in there.”

George had a bemused expression on his face, but followed Y/N to a small closet door. Inside the closet were scrolls of parchment, planetary charts, and astrological drawings for Professor Sinistra’s classes, some dusty telescopes, and rolls of blankets that were used for cold nights. 

Spreading the blankets on the floor, they laid down next to one another, staring at the sky above them. There wasn’t a cloud in sight and the stars were bright, the perfect night for stargazing. They watched the sky silently before Y/N broke the silence.

 “That constellation over there is Perseus,” Y/N was pointing to a cluster of stars above them, “I always loved hearing his story in class.”

“Why’s that?”

There was a beat of silence.

“He was one of the only Greek heroes who actually had a happy ending. That’s all any of us really want, a happy ending.”

“Well, what was Perseus’ happy ending?”

Y/N smiled to herself.

“He got the girl and married a princess.”

George was quiet for a moment before he responded. 

“Yeah, that does sound like a happy ending.”

Y/N felt George’s fingers brush against the back of her hand. She opened her palm and felt George’s hand clasp hers, their fingers intertwining together.

“You know, if you had asked me during that first Hogsmeade trip, I would have said yes.” Y/N spoke softly. It was quiet between them once again and Y/N turned her head to the side.

George had turned onto his side to look at Y/N. The usual mischievous smirk was gone, replaced instead by a look of relief and a gentle smile resting on his lips.

Y/N’s eyes flitted down to his mouth before looking into his eyes once again. 

George’s other hand came up to her face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear before stroking her cheek. His thumb traced down her cheek and around the outline of her lips, parting them slightly. 

Y/N softly bit down on his thumb, a smile behind her eyes. George withdrew his hand a little before gently tilting her chin towards him. Y/N raised her hand to caress his cheek and pulled him into a soft kiss. 

His lips were soft and warm, and she felt herself melt into his embrace. The kiss felt sweet and comforting, almost like warm honey running down her throat. She hadn’t realized how pliant she had become in his grasp until he moved his hand to the small of her back and around her waist, pulling her closer to his body. Y/N could feel the warmth of his chest pressing against her own, fending off the crisp coolness that had filled the tower. 

Her hand that was resting on his cheek moved to the back of his neck and she tangled her fingers through his hair. A low moan resonated from his throat and he gripped her waist, pulling her even closer to him. 

Her heart was racing and she felt a spark in the pit of her stomach that was growing more ravenous by the second. George pulled back a little, breaking the kiss before he started kissing down her neck, slowly tracing a line to her collarbone. 

Euphoria couldn’t even begin to describe what Y/N was feeling as George’s hands slid underneath her shirt, his hands warm and comforting. 

With a sudden burst of bravery, Y/N took their still clasped hands and guided them to her sleep shorts. George froze for a second before slowly drawing back.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you into anything you don’t want to do.” His face had a nervous expression painted across it.

“I’m sure. Are you?” Y/N studied his face, his mouth twitching into a smile.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure.” 

George pulled the sleep shorts down Y/N’s legs, who kicked them off carelessly to a corner of the tower. Y/N felt a shiver course down her body once her legs were fully exposed to the night’s air. 

George pushed himself up, his legs straddling Y/N’s waist, and pulled his shirt over his head in one, seamless movement. His body was toned, no doubt from the hours of Quidditch practice, and the way the silver light coming through the open windows glanced off his body made it look like moonlight was made just for him.

George’s head was cocked to the side, as if he was considering what to do next. His eyes looked heavy and dark, a stark contrast to their usual bright and lively expression.

“Why don’t you take that off for me?” 

He nodded to the sleep shirt that Y/N was still wearing. Y/N’s hands moved slowly, undoing the buttons carefully. After the shirt had been completely undone, George brushed the fabric off her shoulders. He paused for a moment, looking at Y/N, before he cupped the back of her head and pulled her into another kiss. There was something different about him now though, this kiss felt more passionate and heated. Y/N’s hands were embracing George’s cheek and the back of his head, once again tangling themselves in his soft hair. 

George’s hips were slowly grinding down into Y/N’s, setting off sparks deep within her stomach. Her reaction to his touch made her reflect for a moment, no one else had ever had this kind of effect on her before, no one else made her swoon just by looking her way, and certainly no one had made her fall apart under their touch. 

Y/N’s hand traced down George’s neck, down his chest, and down to the waistband of his pants. He seemed to understand what she was asking and wordlessly pushed the elastic band down, kicking the pants somewhere haphazardly. The sparks Y/N had felt in the pit of her stomach earlier were coming back in full force. 

George pushed Y/N’s legs apart and slotted himself in between them, pulling her hips closer to his face. There was a smile behind his eyes as he pressed a kiss to each of her hip bones, never breaking eye contact. 

“You know, I have been wanting to do this for ages,” George began kissing up the inside of her thigh. Y/N threw her head back, her eyes closed as she reveled in his touch.

Y/N didn’t have time to respond as George’s thumb found and slowly circled her clit. A low moan escaped from her and Y/N threaded her fingers through the fringe on his head. Y/N could feel his smile against her thigh.

“But don’t worry, I’m about to make it up to the both of us.”

His thumb drew back suddenly, and Y/N was about to groan in protest until she felt his tongue take its place. Her grip on his hair tightened between her fingers. Y/N’s breaths were shallow now as she tried to keep her voice down. But with each passing moment, she found it more difficult to keep the sounds at bay.

George’s tongue expertly moved, making Y/N fall apart with each passing moment. It was almost as if time didn’t exist, all that mattered was the pleasure that Y/N was experiencing and that George was the one making her feel this way.

Y/N felt the pressure in her stomach begin to rise and grow in intensity. Each breath was now a gasp for air as George became more fervent with his movements. His hands were tightly gripping her thighs and waist, pushing them down so that she could not writhe around. Her leg began to shake and Y/N had to bite down on her hand to stop the loud moans that were threatening to escape from her. 

“I-I’m going to-” Y/N couldn’t finish her sentence, but George seemed to understand. He increased his relentless pace, not giving Y/N a moment to fall from the high she was about to experience. 

Her vision went white and her back arched as the feeling of euphoria became all-consuming. With one final gasp, Y/N’s orgasm faded into a muted throb in the core of her stomach once again. Her grip loosened on George’s hair, her hand sliding down to his cheek.

The mischievous knowing smirk was on his face again, his tongue resting between his teeth. 

“That was-,” Y/N took a deep breath.

“Amazing? Wondrous? Phenomenal?” George had a proud tone to his voice.

“Aren’t you smug? I was going to say mind-blowing but you don’t seem to need an ego boost.”

Her hand dropped from his cheek and rested on her stomach, which was rising and falling with every deep breath she took. 

George pushed himself up onto his arms and moved so that his face was only inches from Y/N’s. Her hands came up to his bare waist, where they then slowly moved up his back, tracing over the lines of muscle, and finally to his shoulder and the back of his neck. Her fingers threaded through the short hairs at the nape of his neck, tracing light patterns that sent shutters down George’s spine. 

“You,” George leaned down and kissed the tip of Y/N’s nose, “are so,” a kiss on her left cheek, “incredibly,” a kiss on her right cheek “beautiful,” and finally, a kiss on her awaiting lips. 

“Are you ready?” George’s voice was soft, a vague expression of concern on his face. 

“Yeah, I am.” Y/N pulled his waist closer to hers, giving George the permission he needed to continue. 

George slowly entered Y/N, moving carefully as to not make any sudden movements. Once his hips were flush with Y/N’s, he paused, giving her a moment to adjust to the sudden pressure. Y/N let out a content sigh, which George took as a sign to move, and he slowly began pulling out.

His hips began to find an easy rhythm and Y/N pulled him down into a heady and meaningful kiss. Every movement was slow and deep, Y/N’s hips raising to meet George’s with each thrust. The cold breeze that was washing over them went unnoticed, the heat from their bodies shielding and keeping them warm. Y/N could feel George’s muscles flex with the rise and fall of his chest and the rolling of his hips which only added to the electric feeling in her core. 

Y/N’s back arched as George drove into the very spot that made her fall apart, soft moans falling from her parted lips in concurrence with George’s quiet grunts. With each thrust forward, George kissed along the line of Y/N’s neck and down to her chest, his lips grazing over her collarbones. 

“D-don’t stop,” Y/N gasped, tensing as his cock somehow drove deeper into her than it had before. Her request elicited a breathy laugh from George’s mouth.

“Does that feel good sweetheart?” his voice had a teasing tone to it, she could hear his smile in his words.

“Yes, yes it feels so good,” she moaned loudly, not caring anymore about keeping quiet. George pushed himself up in response, his hand tightly gripping onto her waist as he drove into her, pulling her down onto his cock with force.

‘Oh my god, right there,” Y/N continued babbling praise, her mind going blank. Each breath was a gasp for air, her legs were trembling violently as she began to approach her high once again. Once George’s calloused fingers came down to her clit, she felt her orgasm crash over her once again, loud moans falling from her mouth. 

Y/N felt herself tense around George and his hips began to stutter, the steady rhythm losing its pattern as he began chasing his high after Y/N’s. It only took a few more stroked before his orgasm finally washed over his body, his toned arms supporting his upper body as he fell forward. 

They were both panting, trying to catch their breaths in the wake of their climaxes. George carefully pulled out and laid down beside Y/N, his arms trembling slightly. Y/N turned to face George and rested her head against his chest, which was rising and falling rapidly. The only sound within the tower was their heavy breathing as they took a few moments to recover.

George’s fingertips brushed the tops of her thighs, following the curves and dips of her waist and hips. His hand finally came to rest on her lower back, where he began tracing aimless patterns. The light patterns sent exhilarated shivers down Y/N’s spine, keeping her in a state of bliss. If heaven was anything but this, she didn’t want it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After they had magically cleaned up after themselves and put the blankets back into the closet, they walked down the spiraling staircase from the Astronomy Tower, hand in hand. They were surrounded by a comfortable silence, the only sounds being their footsteps on the stone steps and the occasional whisper from the portraits on the walls. 

George noticed the hint of a smile that was resting on Y/N face. When they had turned the corner to an empty hallway, George nudged her shoulder, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“What are you smiling about?” 

She shook her head, smiling.

“I’m just really happy right now.”

“Me too,” he responded, squeezing her hand reassuringly. A smirk suddenly appeared on his face, “how long did you actually like me then?”

Y/N felt her cheeks flush with heat.

“Well I’ve always liked your pranks and I’ve always thought you were attractive, but I think it was the Yule Ball where I realized that I liked you. I don’t know if you remember this, but you asked me to dance. No one had ever asked me to dance before,” she glanced up at George’s face, which was now dawning in realization.

“Oh yeah! I remember that, Fred dared me to ask the prettiest girl in the room for a dance. I asked McGonagall but she said no, so I asked you instead,” a teasing smile was on his face now, “Have you really liked me for all that time?”

“Yeah, I think Pansy became so fed up that she had to start intervening.”

“Is that why she shoved you into me that day in Hogsmeade?” George laughed, “I think Fred was getting fed up as well, he’s practically been shoving me towards the Slytherin table every day.”

They crossed through the entrance hall towards the grand staircase, where they would descend down to the entrance to the dungeons. A gust of cold air blew down through the halls from the Quad, sending a shiver down Y/N’s spine. George pulled her close into his side and they continued, his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders. 

They descended the steps to the dungeons and past the Potions classrooms and down one final set of stairs to the entrance to the Slytherin common room. Most of the time, the cold and wet feeling of the dungeons before walking into the warm and cozy common room was unsettling for Y/N, but she didn’t mind it as much when she was standing next to George. 

“I had a really nice time tonight. I’m glad you came up to the tower,” Y/N said, turning to say her goodbyes to George. 

“I had a nice time too,” his voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. Y/N looked up to the hair that was falling across his forehead and tucked it away from his face. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then? At breakfast?” she tried not to sound too hopeful, but it was difficult to not look forward to the next time they saw one another. 

“Yeah, I will. And then maybe I can take you out on a real date?”

“I would love that.”

They both leaned forward for one final kiss goodbye, then Y/N turned to the stone wall and uttered the password. The wall dissolved away and she walked through, looking back at George. As they brought their hands up to wave goodbye, the wall reformed and became solid between them once again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The common room was pretty much empty, with the occasional cat stretching out on the plush velvet couches, and the fire in the fireplace now a pile of crackling logs. Different patterns of light were dancing around the room, shining through the transparent ceiling beneath the Black Lake. The only thing that could be seen through the inky darkness was the rippling moon, which was hanging brightly in the sky. Even the lake seemed to be asleep at this hour.

Y/N quietly tiptoed up the winding stone staircase to the girls’ dormitories where she shared a room with Pansy. She attempted to silently slide the door open, trying not to wake anyone, but her efforts were abandoned as soon as Pansy crashed into her, a barrage of questions pouring from her mouth.

“Was he there? What happened? Why were you up there so long, I thought Filch had caught you for sure!” Pansy was pulling Y/N by the arm to her bed, insisting that she answer every question that was thrown her way. 

Once Y/N was situated on the bed, she began to tell Pansy about everything that had happened in the tower. Once she had gotten to the part where they kissed, Pansy let out a gasp and her hand flew over her mouth in shock.

“So he admitted that he liked you and he kissed you under the stars?” her voice was a whisper this time, her eyes rounding in shock.

“Mmhmm, but wait, it gets better,” Y/N giggled, leaning forward to continue her story in hushed tones. Pansy swooned at all the right moments and gasped encouragingly whenever a new detail of Y/N’s night with George was brought up.

It was almost sunrise by the time they had finished talking about George and sleep was pulling at their eyes.

“We better get some sleep now before we have to go down to breakfast,” Pansy yawned loudly, stretching her legs out before walking over to her bed. She looked at her watch as she crawled under the covers, “we should be able to get a few hours in before those damn first years wake us up again.” 

Y/N pulled the covers back and slid between the cool sheets, thinking about the next time she would see George and what she would say to him. The fairy lights above their heads dimmed slightly and the fire in the fireplace slowed to a soft crackle.

“I’ll see you in the morning then. Good night,” Y/N began to draw the velvet curtains around her bed closed. There was a smirk on Pansy’s face as she began to close her curtains as well.

“Oh, you definitely had a good night,” Pansy ducked, laughing loudly as a hairbrush was thrown her way, narrowly missing her head. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once they had gotten a few good hours of sleep, the two of them walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Y/N was fiddling with the hem of her sleeve nervously as they entered the entrance hall.

“Oh my god, will you stop futzing with it? Just act normal, you’ll be fine,” Pansy whispered, hooking her arm around Y/N’s. They finally walked through the large doors that entered into the Great Hall and were greeted by the loud chatter and clattering of silverware against plates. The hum only grew louder when Slytherin’s Quidditch team walked into the Great Hall wearing their emerald green Quidditch robes. 

“I completely forgot, there’s Quidditch today!” Y/N remarked to Pansy as they sat down. Pansy was already filling her plate with some bacon and scrambled eggs.

“What do you mean ‘you forgot’? They’re playing Gryffindor, I would have thought you’d have the Gryffindor Quidditch schedule memorized.”

It wasn’t until a few minutes later when Y/N finally caught a glimpse of fiery hair walking through the entrance and over to the Gryffindor table. George and the rest of the Gryffindor team strode into the Great Hall to cheers and applause from the Gryffindor table. They were wearing their scarlet Quidditch robes, a stark contrast to the black school robes everyone else was wearing. George was carrying a brown paper parcel wrapped in twine in his hands which he slipped underneath his robes.

It was nearing the end of breakfast when George stood up and walked over to the Slytherin table, stopping in front of Y/N.

“Can I speak to you for a moment?”

Y/N nodded her head slightly.

“Yeah,” Y/N’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. She stood from the bench and followed George out into the entrance hall. Y/N could feel people’s eyes on her as she trailed behind George, it wasn’t every day that a Gryffindor walked up to the Slytherin table to talk to someone, let alone pull them aside for a private conversation. 

George pulled her behind a pillar so that her back was against the stone wall. He pulled the wrapped parcel up and held it out for her to take.

“I was hoping you would wear it at the match today,” George said as Y/N carefully untied the twine holding the brown paper together. The paper fell away to reveal a red and gold scarf.

“I know we’re playing Slytherin and all, you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.”

Y/N brought it up to her nose and breathed in, the scent seemed to envelop her senses. She glanced up at George’s face, a smile resting on her lips.

“I would love to,” Y/N wrapped the scarf around her neck, tossing one end over her shoulder, “how do I look?”

George cupped her cheeks and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Wonderful. Really wonderful”

Y/N walked back into the Great Hall still wearing the scarf. She sat down next to Pansy again and casually grabbed a croissant from Pansy’s plate, the corners of her mouth upturned slightly. Pansy leaned forward, her elbow leaning on the table and an amazed look on her face.

“Are you going to tell me what that was about?” a smile was growing on Pansy’s face as she stole a few glances at the scarf.

“Oh nothing,” Y/N paused for a moment, the croissant inches from her mouth. She had a look on her face like she was contemplating something amusing before she spoke again, “I’m just really excited for Quidditch today.”

[aizawaslovebot]

NOW PLAYING: the ex factor by iwaizumi hajime

—reader pronouns: he/him

—warnings: curse words ; had to be cut into two parts bec i want it that way ><

—summary: desperate times mean desperate measures, and y/n l/n is definitely the embodiment of desperate. eager to make his ex jealous for reasons undisclosed (read as: he's just petty), he asks his long-time best friend, iwaizumi hajime, to pretend as his boyfriend.

—note: the second part will be out in 3 days! VERY SORRY FOR THE VERY LONG WAIT UHU

TAGLIST: OPEN ; send an ask to be added even if you've already sent an ask back then!! because all that i could recall is @ohmygodronnie2020 and @beyond-the-mxxn

<- the sweetheart playlist | part i | part ii ->

Iwaizumi Hajime should’ve trusted his gut when it went crazy at the sight of you, Y/N L/N, whose eyes held a very mischievous glint that Iwa hated. He also should’ve turned you down immediately the moment you opened your mouth. Iwa definitely should’ve reprimanded you for roping him into this stupid plan.

Sadly, all he’s doing is crying over spilt milk.

He could remember it like it was yesterday. Years of dealing with Shittykawa meant that he knew when bullshit was about to happen. He thought going to California meant finally meeting someone who isn't an idiot on the daily. You were his contradiction. You were his idiot— basically like Shittykawa’s younger, much more mischievous brother.

Honestly, did Iwaizumi only attract idiots?

On the days you aren’t going on and on and on about why the government should be overthrown or why the both of you should buy a frog table for your shared dorm, he found you to be a nice guy. The people Iwa has met always had a hidden layer to them and you were one of them. Shittykawa was one too. Though Iwa wishes he didn’t introduce the both of you to each other— you become an unstoppable ball of everything annoying when you talk to each other.

But I digress. Iwa isn’t here to cry over why he only had chaos for best friends. Iwa is here because you, Y/N L/N, while you happened to be Iwa’s contradiction for all things he considered his norm, had asked him a very big favor.

“No,” Iwaizumi grunts, regretting even entertaining the male’s request. He could see your (h/c) hair bob as you groan out of frustration. Unbeknownst to the male, you were mulling over using what has to be Iwa’s biggest weakness: your very adorable puppy eyes.

“Iwa-chaaaan,” You sniff, putting on doe-eyes for Iwa to see, “I really want to make him jealous.”

Iwa sighs, subtly turning away so he didn’t have to see the tear-stained cheeks and the glossy eyes. The poor male was about to speak, pointing out that you had been influenced by Oikawa with the damn nickname, but he was cut off.

“He hurt me a lot, y’know?” You started to well up, for real this time, “I just wanted revenge…”

Iwa sighs again but he noticeably softens, opening his arms to let you cry while he hugs you. As you wept, you accepted his gesture and immediately let yourself be engulfed in your best friend’s arms. “You’ve yet to tell me why you two broke up, dumbass,” Iwa chided, though it was lighthearted.

“Zumi, is this your backhanded way of saying yes?” You asked, but your voice was muffled by his chest.

Iwa sighs for the nth time that day as he finally resigns to his fate, “Yes.”

That encounter was a week ago. You gave Iwaizumi enough time to prepare and regret his life choices. Honestly, he should’ve predicted that his idiot timed things perfectly so that your stupid plan would take place on the university-wide party the following week. Iwa could proudly say that most of his predictions were accurate and on point. Then again, his predictions were futile anyway— the best example could be his judgement on your then-boyfriend, Akuma Azamuku.

The brunette could clearly remember how he was able to discern more than enough red flags from just meeting the god forsaken guy. It was annoying how blind you could be when you’re heads over heels in love with the wrong people. Were you not really able to see how toxic this… Akuma guy is? Terrible name too, might he add. Iwaizumi would rather you date him than this devil spawn.

But he didn’t move a muscle. Iwaizumi didn’t move a muscle especially after that thought emerged from his head. What in Godzilla’s name was he thinking anyway?

Even if he could celebrate his on-point prediction on how much of an ass the spawn of Satan was, he couldn’t exactly bring himself to mock you with an angry ‘’I told you so!” Not when it meant that your damn ex-boyfriend cheated on you, covering it up by saying that he wasn’t actually gay. Not when it meant that you had been used. Not when it meant that you, his idiot, were hurt. His idiot was hurt.

“You’re being a martyr again, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa tutted through the phone, tactlessly commenting once the brunette finished relaying what was going on.

The male snorted, “What are you on, this time, Shittykawa?”

“Don’t turn this on me, you idiot.”

How the hell was Iwaizumi the idiot? No. He’s lived with idiots his entire life but he wasn’t one. If anything, both of his friends were the idiots. Not him.

“Selflessly complying with dear (N/N)’s outrageous request, regardless of how much it hurts you. Tsk, Iwaizumi Hajime. You’re one big idiot,” Oikawa sighed.

Iwaizumi scoffs at his friend’s claim, “Why the hell will helping him out hurt me? Shittykawa, did you leave your single brain cell in Miyagi?” The brunette growls, annoyed at the way Oikawa avoided giving him the straight answer.

“Iwa-chan,” Iwaizumi’s breath hitches as he hears the next words, “you’re in love with (N/N), aren’t you?”

Iwaizumi Hajime was, in fact, an idiot.

He was an idiot for realizing it much later than wanted; for allowing Shittykawa, of all people, to know this one fact before him; and for opening an avenue for bigger wounds because all he wanted was to help his best friend. He probably had to be the biggest idiot among the three— and that’s saying a lot… like more than a lot.

The soon-to-be trainer could hear his pro best friend sigh in response to his stunned silence. Iwa concludes that it was weird to be on the receiving end of a tired sigh but he doesn’t utter a word. Not even after Oikawa begins to speak again. “I can’t even bring myself to tease you tonight… or today… or whatever time it is there, Iwa-chan. What will you do now?”

Iwaizumi wasn’t the type to let himself get involved in petty things like this nor does he let himself go against judgement. That is, if you weren't in the question. The brunette was very sure that you were his contradiction— unknowingly forcing him to go against all the boundaries Iwa had set and done. You, also a trainer in the making, could easily be the death of Iwaizumi Hajime. But if it’s you, then he’d gladly embrace this death.

“I’m going.”

Those two words were a lot harder to say than the tired male liked to admit. So as he ends the dreadful phone call with Oikawa, he secretly hopes that next week will never come.

Even if Iwaizumi tried his hardest to deny, next week actually came. Not that it was a surprise. No one could stop the turning of time, the rotation of the Earth, nor the ticking of the clock. How the hell would he even stop next week from coming? Heck, Iwaizumi couldn’t even stop you from this stupid revenge quest that you had set.

Pretend to be his boyfriend, you said. It would be easy to do anyway, you said. We’ll be in and out in a jiffy, you said.

To hell with all the lies that you had promised. It was beyond Iwaizumi’s skills and strength to pretend to be someone you romantically loved when he actually wanted it to be true. The Aoba Johsai Iwaizumi would’ve dipped; Iwaizumi from last year would’ve never pushed through. But here he is, standing in front of the mirror in your shared dorm, preparing to do what he deemed an impossible feat.

You will always be Iwaizumi Hajime’s contradiction. And at this point, he isn’t sure whether it was a good or a bad thing. All Iwa knows is that this will soon end and like the way next week came, tomorrow will soon be today.

So all Iwaizumi could do is psych himself up to do impossible— the same way he had convinced himself he was an ace in volleyball or the same way he gave himself assurance with his college application— and push through with the plan.

I can do this. I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, former volleyball ace and soon, an athletic trainer. I’ve dealt with Shittykawa all my life. I was able to get into a college in California by myself. This should be easy. I can do this.

“Should I wear this, ‘zumi?” You call out from the bathroom, holding two slightly different tops for Iwa to see. The way the brunette spluttered at the sight of a half-naked you was embarrassing to say the least, but Iwaizumi was thankful that you had been too engrossed to even notice the reddening of his ears. ‘God damn it, Hajime. Half-naked Y/N isn’t new,’ he chastised himself mentally as he coughs. “Use the darker one,” was Iwaizumi’s curt reply.

I can do this.

You should not have lit up at his answer like that. The sight gave Iwaizumi more joy than he liked to admit. Nothing could ever top what you said next though.

I c-can do this...

“Oh! This one matches yours too! We look good together, huh?”

I cannot do this.

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi sighs to mask his flustered state, “just shut up and wear it already.” You only laugh in response, already used to Iwaizumi’s brash way of dealing with things. “Alright, puddin’. Just wait. You can’t rush art,” You reply sarcastically, using the other nickname that Iwa had begun to dread.

Iwa resorts to the comfort of his phone— or rather, he uses the phone to conceal the undying pink on his cheeks so you wouldn’t see. Maybe if he spared a minute before he did so, he would’ve seen that you were equally flustered; seemingly embarrassed to have said what you had in their conversation. But it is what it is, and Iwaizumi has to continue his emotional constipation without ever knowing that had ever happened.

You take Iwa’s hand in yours before you lead Iwa out of your dorm and to wherever the god forsaken party was. “What’s with the skinship?” Iwa asks, though the way he adjusts the grip so it would be comfortable didn’t go unnoticed. Maybe he had started to like the prospect of this whole fake dating fiasco because it let him taste of what could’ve been instead of just wondering how it felt.

“Nothing you’re not used to, puddin’. And uh… uh… this way we could look like an actual couple,” You stammer and avoid eye contact, your hand still in Iwa’s warmth though.

If Iwaizumi hadn’t been too distracted, too haunted by the reminder that this was just pretend, then he would’ve noticed that you had seemed unsure, seemed too engrossed in the feeling of your hands together that you weren’t able to make a great excuse. He once again resigns to what has been destined. “The Y/N L/N I know doesn’t do things half-assed,” Iwa claims as he drops their hands, “By that logic this should be okay right? So people would really think we’re together.”

‘It isn’t okay,’ You croak internally. Iwa decided to go against all things normal by doing this… this very compromising position that ensured the two of you looked like nothing else but a couple. Iwa decided, despite not knowing how much damage it would bring to your poor heart, to wrap an arm around your waist.

Unknown to the soon-to-be trainer, you were just as, if not more, smitten with him as Iwa was with you. You almost revealed the reason behind your bad break-up and even let Iwa see that he had this much of an effect on you. So this, to see Iwa be so into the role of his pretend boyfriend, both flustered and somehow hurt you.

You didn’t know why it hurt though.

“You okay there, dumbass? ” Iwa asks, getting too close to your face and being far too concerned than your heart could’ve handled.

Everything about this was confusing. Both of your minds were having their own storms as the both of you stumbled upon this new, confusing field in between friendship and romance. Closeness with Iwa wasn’t new to you at all. Him lightly calling you dumb wasn’t new at all. So why, in God’s name, did your ribcage feel like breaking apart from the very loud beating of your heart?

If Iwa had to ask himself the same question he asked you, he would’ve gotten a big ‘NO’ from himself. Initiating skinship to this extent made Iwa’s brain malfunction. Not only that, but the feeling of your waist was very much heavenly and mind-boggling. To put a cherry on top of the sundae called “Iwaizumi Hajime’s gay panicking,” the speechless and cute expression you had was too much for his heart.

Turns out that you would answer the same as Iwa, not that the brunette knew though.

This plan of yours started on the right course. Your dick of an ex did cheat on you and you wanted to make him regret ever even thinking of using you as a scapegoat from his problems. It was common sense to ask for the aid of your best friend, right? He, of all people, would know you and understand you best. So when did your fake dating extravaganza take its turn? At what point did this plan converge into something different?

In other words, did you still want to make your ex jealous? Or did you want to see how it would feel to date your best friend?

Time did not let you answer the many questions that formed in your pretty head. Before either of you knew it, you’ve arrived at the party.

You turn to look at Iwa, who was somehow already gazing at you with that intense fire in his eyes, and nod.

It’s showtime.

—reblogging helps a lot !! thank you for reading !!

[ibijau]

on AO3

Beta Nie Huaisang goes to check on omega Lan Xichen, since his lover hasn't gotten in touch in a few weeks. When he finds Lan Xichen nesting, he can only conclude that the child isn't his.

It had been a while since Nie Huaisang had last seen Lan Xichen, and longer still since he had come to the Cloud Recesses. Usually, for everyone’s convenience, it was simpler for the two of them to meet in the Unclean Realm, where people knew to mind their own business, and where Nie Huaisang’s failings as a sect leader gave them a good excuse to spend time together.

It had been over two months since they’d last met. In all that time, Lan Xichen had only written once, and about sect business too, so it hardly counted at all. And so Nie Huaisang, who was in the area for some other dealings of his, had decided that it would probably be fine to drop by and check on the omega. 

The men watching the gate did not bat an eye upon seeing him, since it wasn’t so unusual for him to come unannounced, but one evasively warned him that Lan Xichen might be busy. That wasn’t a problem of course. Nie Huaisang had a permanent invitation to make himself at home in the Hanshi for those times Lan Xichen wasn’t free to deal with him right away.

So like always he headed right for the Hanshi, already wondering what tea he’d make for himself while Lan Xichen dealt with his own business. Only when he entered the Hanshi, Nie Huaisang was struck by an unexpected sight.

The Hanshi, usually so neat and tidy that one could have eaten off the floor, was an absolute mess . There were fabrics everywhere in all shades of white and blue as well as the occasional dash of green, plus a great number of cushions of many sizes that Lan Xichen was organising in some manner that must have made sense to him.

Nie Huaisang gaped at the sight.

Lan Xichen was nesting.

There was no other explanation. Although Nie Huaisang was a beta, as a sect leader he’d had to deal with that sort of things before. People were always surprised to hear about it, but Qinghe Nie was very welcoming to omega disciples, and of course alphas had to deal with their spouses. A whole portion of the sect’s budget was dedicated to this sort of things, just because Nie Huaisang had found that it spelled trouble to have a frustrated omega failing to build their nest exactly as they envisioned it. In fact, although he complained about the waste of money, Nie Huaisang found the process somewhat fascinating, and he’d always been happy to give his opinion whenever asked for it.

This nest, though, was instantly hateful to him.

It wasn’t as though Lan Xichen and him had made any clear promises to each other. They liked to fool around when they could, but being a beta he couldn’t mark the omega, and would have been unlikely to ever impregnate him. That was the whole reason why Lan Xichen allowed himself such liberties with Nie Huaisang: it was a safe way to scratch that itch without ruining his prospects for a proper match when the time came. 

Still, even without promises, Nie Huaisang had thought they had a certain understanding. He had never taken other lovers since falling in bed with Lan Xichen, and not just because he was too busy for it. Compared to the esteemed Zewu-Jun, everyone else felt boring, no matter if they were alphas, omegas, or betas. But Nie Huaisang himself, by comparison… well, if Lan Xichen had found himself a proper mate, an alpha, he couldn’t be blamed for it of course.

Busy with the delicate task of constructing his nest, Lan Xichen didn’t realise that he had company until Nie Huaisang closed the door behind himself, a little more forcefully than he should have.

He hated the way Lan Xichen’s face illuminated upon seeing him, so pretty like this, kneeling in the middle of his half built nest.

“A-Sang!” he exclaimed,. “I was just about to write to you, as soon as I finished with this.”

He gestured at the mess around him, and Nie Huaisang couldn’t help a disdainful scoff.

“I think I’d have waited a long while before seeing that letter then,” he remarked. “Congratulations are in order it seems. And I suppose I’d better leave you to it, you seem very busy.”

“Nonsense, you simply have to help me,” Lan Xichen protested, picking up an embroidered cushion and looking around for the best place to put it. “I’m not too good at this, but you’ve said you’ve helped with that sort of things before, right? I need your expertise, A-Sang.”

If Nie Huaisang had been a reasonable person, if he’d had a little more pride, he would have left immediately. Hearing himself still being called A-Sang after this hurt too much, as did Lan Xichen’s casual attitude, as if he truly didn’t realise that it might pain Nie Huaisang to discover in such a brutal manner that he had been replaced. Above all, no self-respecting person should have had to help their lover help prepare a nest for someone else’s child.

But apparently, Lan Xichen really saw no wrong with that. Nie Huaisang, kindly, decided to blame it on nesting frenzy rather than on the omega’s tendency to close his eyes to anything he didn’t like thinking about.

Lan Xichen was the only person that Nie Huaisang could have allowed to be so cruel to him without hating him. His one weakness, now and always. So instead of leaving, he quickly untied his shoes and came to join Lan Xichen in the middle of his nest.

“Hold this,” Lan Xichen ordered when Nie Huaisang knelt next to him, handing him some delicate furs, a present from Nie Huaisang himself some years before. “And this, and…”

“Quite the luxurious nest you’re building here,” Nie Huaisang remarked as he started laying the furs and fabrics around so they would be both elegant to look at and comfortable to lay on. “Is that even allowed by your sect’s rules?”

“It’s my nest, I get to decide how I want it,” Lan Xichen replied in a playful tone. “For once in my life, nobody has the right to tell me how to do this. I will take full advantage of it.”

“Hm. And what about whoever sired your child? Don’t they also get a say? Maybe they’ll think this is too ostentatious.”

For some reason, that remark made Lan Xichen laugh. Nie Huaisang found himself increasingly curious as to the identity of whatever alpha had gotten his friend with child. It couldn’t be another Lan, or else Lan Xichen would not actually allow himself to be so extravagant. A Jin then? He really didn’t like the idea that it might be a Jin, because there was only one of them close enough to Lan Xichen for this to happen, and if Jin Guangyao had dared to touch the omega…

“He won’t mind,” Lan Xichen claimed with laughter still in his voice, before grabbing Nie Huaisang to kiss him.

Again, Nie Huaisang thought of protesting on account of his pride.

But what was the value of that pride when Lan Xichen's lips were on his, tender and demanding, when the omega's arms were wrapped around his waist to pull him closer. 

Nie Huaisang had sacrificed his pride for less pleasant purposes before. He didn't mind doing it again, for one last tryst with the man he shouldn't have loved.

One of Nie Huaisang's hands grabbed the back of Lan Xichen's neck. This made him gasp, and gave Nie Huaisang the chance to deepen the kiss, licking into that willing mouth. Then, with his free hand he started pulling on the ties of Lan Xichen's clothes, eager to undress his lover. 

Under layers and layers of pale silk, delicate skin became revealed. Nie Huaisang's fingers lazily danced over his lover's collarbone, over a firm chest, taking a moment to play with a nipple, just for the joy of seeing Lan Xichen's lips part for a soft gasp. His chest was still all muscle, but it would probably soon start to soften and prepare for the child’s arrival. The thought sent heat coursing through Nie Huaisang’s groin, for which he cursed himself. By the time such changes started appearing, everything would be over between them, Lan Xichen would certainly have married whatever lucky idiot had managed to breed him.

Enraged by that idea, Nie Huaisang tore off the rest of the omega’s robes, letting precious silk pool around them and adding to the mess of the half built nest. When Lan Xichen was left in nothing but pants, Nie Huaisang roughly pushed him down against the nearest pile of pillows.

Lan Xichen went down willingly, though could have resisted if he wanted. He was the stronger between them, and by far, but when they were alone he liked to pretend Nie Huaisang could push him around, to play the part of a delicate and submissive omega. Another game between them, another thing they didn’t talk about, and Nie Huaisang to this day didn't know if Lan Xichen did it for his own pleasure, or out of pity for his weak lover.

It had to be at least partly for pleasure, with the way Lan Xichen gasped when Nie Huaisang, having pulled down his pants pushed a finger into him to find him slick with arousal already.

“Zewu-Jun, how shameful of you to get in such a state while nesting,” Nie Huaisang teased, pressing in a second finger already, while his other hand pressed on Lan Xichen' s shoulder, pinning him against the side of his nest.

Lan Xichen writhed weakly, as if trying to escape but unable to.

“A-Sang don’t, ah, don’t call me that,” he complained, gasping when his lover’s fingers found the right places to tease. “It’s not…”

“Then what should I call you?” Nie Huaisang asked, trying to keep his tone casual even as he added another finger. “Er-ge? Lan-gege? Xichen-ge? A-Huan, perhaps?”

Lan Xichen, whose eyes had closed upon that most welcome assault, opened them again and whined at that last suggestion. Even though they had been doing this for some years now, Nie Huaisang had never really dared to use his lover’s personal name, fearing it would have been too intimate for the sort of relationship they had. Now though, if he was to lose all this, there was little point in not taking everything he could before it was over.

“You’re so wet, A-Huan,” he accused, removing his fingers from his lover’s hole and carelessly wiping them against the side of his naked thigh. “Isn’t it against your sect’s rules to be unrestrained?”

Lan Xichen pouted at feeling himself empty again, and shivered at Nie Huaisang’s words. As if suddenly remembering something, he quickly sat up in spite of the hand pushing down on his chest, proving that Nie Huaisang was only in control because it was granted to him. Nie Huaisang found it a more potent aphrodisiac than actually having the strength to subdue his lover could have been. He then saw Lan Xichen quickly reach behind his head, saw the white embroidered ribbon he wore be loosened and slide down, saw his lover smile at him with that spark of mischief Lan Xichen only ever showed when they were alone together.

“There, now I’m allowed to be unrestrained,” Lan Xichen said after dropping the ribbon out of the way and carefully laying down on the side of his nest again. “Let’s make the best of this, A-Sang.”

He opened his legs a little wider, shamelessly inviting Nie Huaisang to come enjoy his body. Nie Huaisang, in turn, pretended to ignore him and started undressing himself, taking care to fold everything neatly so it wouldn’t get lost in the luxurious mess of that nest around them. Lan Xichen observed him with hunger at first, which quickly turned to frustration.

“You’re teasing me,” he accused with a slight whine to his voice that made Nie Huaisang want to devour him.

“I’m just trying to be respectful,” Nie Huaisang retorted while fighting with his pants, the last item of clothing on him. “I believe your sect has a rule against undue haste, and against being careless with one’s possessions.”

“Then stop being careless with me,” Lan Xichen ordered.

Nie Huaisang froze, unsure whether to cry or laugh. Once again, he was stunned by how innocently cruel his lover was that day. He really should have put an end to this joke and gone home, leaving Lan Xichen to go get fucked by whatever alpha he’d found himself.

He should have.

He couldn’t.

Instead, Nie Huaisang quickly finished undressing, dropping his pants to the side without even pretending to fold them this time, and came to kneel between Lan Xichen’s legs. The omega smiled up at him, so radiant it hurt.

Without thinking, Nie Huaisang’s hand trailed down his lover’s chest, coming to rest on his stomach. Nothing was showing yet, not even the first signs of softness, though when he probed using spiritual energy, he definitely felt there was something there, a presence too small to have reached consciousness yet. 

The pregnancy wasn’t very far along, three months perhaps, which would place its start rather close to the last time Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen had been together. That would fit, of course. Last time, Lan Xichen had needed to leave the Unclean Realm in something of a hurry when his heat had surprised him, forcing him to rush home before it overcame him completely… or so Nie Huaisang had thought at the time. 

Back then, he’d been disappointed that they’d barely managed to fool around at all. He’d been disappointed at himself, also, for still not finding the courage to ask Lan Xichen to stay, heat or not. With himself a beta there was so little risk of unwanted consequences, while surely it would have been more comfortable for Lan Xichen to go through this with a partner for once…

As it turned out, Lan Xichen hadn’t faced the discomfort of his heat alone. He just hadn’t wanted to spend it with Nie Huaisang either.

Suddenly, Nie Huaisang grabbed Lan Xichen's arm, forcing him to turn around. Lan Xichen willingly obeyed and got on his hands and knees, a spark of excitement in his eyes. He gasped when Nie Huaisang pressed into him faster than he normally did. But then, normally he wasn't so angry at the man he… 

The man he didn't want to love, Nie Huaisang thought as he started moving without giving the omega time to adjust. The man he shouldn't have loved. The man who he should have known he'd never get to keep. 

“A-Sang, be gentle,” Lan Xichen begged, before moaning when Nie Huaisang, instead, fucked him harder. 

The beta soon fell into a punishing rhythm, skin slapping against skin. The only sounds leaving Nie Huaisang’s mouth were grunts, while Lan Xichen alternated between begging to be treated gently or more roughly, as if unable to make up his mind. 

When Lan Xichen's pleasure cries became louder, his body tighter, Nie Huaisang found it in him to fuck even harder into that too willing body, until at last Lan Xichen tensed under him, coming undone with a silent gasp. Nie Huaisang kept going, enjoying that slick tightness for a few thrusts more until he felt he could hold on no longer. 

Pressing inside as far as he could go, Nie Huaisang bent down and bit as hard as he could onto Lan Xichen while spilling his seed.

It was a vain effort, of course. Still, when Nie Huaisang’s senses returned to him and he saw the imprint of his teeth on the side of Lan Xichen's neck, almost deep enough to have broken the skin, he felt a twisted satisfaction. The mark would fade in a few days, a few hours even if Lan Xichen expended some energy to get rid of it. But now Nie Huaisang knew what the man he didn't want to love would have looked, had he been able to mark him and keep him. 

A memory he would surely cherish in the future, when nothing else remained. 

Nie Huaisang pulled out and sat up on his haunches, the better to look at Lan Xichen lying under him, beautiful in his contentment, pale skin decorated by the first signs of future bruises. If he hadn't just come, the sight of such perfection on display for him would have made him hard. Even like that he felt some new desire run through him. 

Lan Xichen cracked open one eye. He smiled, turned around to rest his back against the now crumbling side of his nest, and opened his arms in a silent invitation. One that Nie Huaisang should have refused, the same as he should have refused all the rest. One he took, as he had taken all the rest. 

It was comfortable to lay like this, his head on Lan Xichen's chest, cuddled against one side of that hateful nest. Nie Huaisang could have fallen asleep like this, sated and warm, with Lan Xichen's long fingers lazily tracing senseless patterns on his back. 

Life didn't get better than this, and Nie Huaisang was selfish enough to take what wasn't his to enjoy. 

"I was thinking what we should do, since both our sects need an heir," Lan Xichen said, just as Nie Huaisang was abput to fall asleep. "If it's a girl, let's raise it like a Nie. Your sect is more reasonable about letting women rule, so it'd be… you don't like that?" 

Nie Huaisang shook his head, his body suddenly so tense he could barely breathe, let alone speak. 

That child was his? 

He would have assumed… betas weren't very fertile, and everyone said they had better chances of conceiving with a woman of any sort than a male omega. Nie Huaisang had made his peace with that, knowing he and Lan Xichen wouldn't… That there would only ever be a very low chance of...

But a low chance was still a chance. 

"It's fine if you'd rather see a boy inherit Qinghe Nie as well," Lan Xichen said, his hand turned soothing on Nie Huaisang's back. "In that case if it's a girl, we'll get to spoil her." 

"I don't mind seeing our daughter rule the Unclean Realm," Nie Huaisang weakly replied, still terrified he'd misunderstood somehow, that Lan Xichen had just been carelessly cruel again, that… 

But Lan Xichen kissed the top of his head with affection, and took to running his fingers through Nie Huaisang’s hair. 

"We'll see when the baby is there," Lan Xichen concluded. "I… you want this too, don't you?" he asked, suddenly sounding worried. "We never really spoke about… if you don't want to be involved, I'll… of course I won't force you. I can raise it alone if you're not interested."

Nie Huaisang rose on his elbows to look at the man he loved, who carried his child, and was shocked to find Lan Xichen looking truly worried. As if there were anyone in the world who wouldn't give everything to be in Nie Huaisang’s place. As if Nie Huaisang himself hadn't been ready to sacrifice any dignity he had left for what he thought were scraps of Lan Xichen’s attention. 

"We're raising our child together," Nie Huaisang firmly stated. "I'll claim it if you let me, I'll marry you if you let me. Anything you want from me, just ask and it's yours." 

Lan Xichen smiled brightly at him, happy beyond words. Nie Huaisang found it in him to smile back.

He would just have to get Mo Xuanyu to hurry up with that ritual, so that Jin Guangyao could be taken care of before the birth.

[twomanyideas]

The Grill Next Door

A collaboration by @mdelpin​​​​ and @oryu404​​​​

Gratsu Week 2021 Prompt(s): Impress, Smile, Smokey Pairing: Gray x Natsu

AO3

Summary: Natsu had to repress a loud snort when he caught his first glimpse of his neighbor. The guy was dressed in only a pair of black boxers, his fair skin slick and shiny from the thick layer of sunblock he had applied. His back had white streaks and missed spots all over it from where he hadn’t been able to distribute it evenly, and some of the lotion was sticking to the dark hairs on his neck.

But the absolute worst thing of all was that he obviously had no idea how to use a barbeque properly.

0-0 Summer was arguably the worst time to be moving. Who in their right mind would want to spend all day inside unpacking boxes when it was 90 degrees outside? Definitely not Natsu, and yet here he was, dragging another box full of stuff up the stairs in his new home. He was grateful for his friends, who had been there when he’d gotten the key and helped him clean the house, paint some walls, and install the larger pieces of furniture. But now that there was only the smaller clutter left, he was on his own, and he was missing out on all the summer fun. His friends were all enjoying themselves without him; spending their free time at the beach or the pool, barbecuing in their yards, raiding the ice cream parlor… “Soon…” Natsu sighed to himself. Soon, he could join them again. He just had a few more boxes filled with necessary items to go.

He’d already unpacked the ones filled with kitchen utensils and Happy’s stuff. All that was left were his toiletries and a few clothes. He’d sort through the rest of his crap bit by bit, one or two boxes every night until he was done. That way, he could still get the most out of the vacation days he'd pulled out for moving. He opened the box he’d brought upstairs with him and groaned; of course, he’d grabbed the wrong one. Instead of towels and shower products, he was looking at some of the housewarming gifts he’d gotten. A key hanger from Lucy, because he was always losing his keys. A baking set from Erza, which Natsu had to admit was the most optimistic gift he’d ever gotten, and a cute houseplant from Wendy, carefully wrapped up in brown paper, with wet paper towels to keep the soil moist.

There were a few more small gifts, but Natsu’s attention was drawn to the flat package at the bottom. More specifically, to the image that was on it, giving away what was inside: a bright pink flamingo kiddie pool. “So you can have a pool in your backyard!” Sting had grinned when Natsu unwrapped the gift. It was obviously a gag gift, and at the time, Natsu had seen the humor in it. He’d even joked that he’d call Sting for a pool party once he was all settled in, but right now, it only fueled his longing to do something fun. Actually… Screw unpacking, he’d do that later. One look through the window, at the bright blue sky and the burning sun, was all it took to finalize his decision. He picked up the box and took it downstairs again, quickly watering the plant before it could die in the summer heat, and putting it on a windowsill. Leaving the rest of the box’s contents for now, he took out the inflatable pool and started digging through one of the other boxes in search of his swim trunks.

He’d done enough for today. He was going to sit in his backyard and enjoy his stupid pool, damn it. Once he’d changed into his swimwear, he applied a thin layer of sunblock he’d found during his search for a towel. He went outside with the pool under his arm, sticking his foot out when he slipped through the sliding door to keep Happy from sneaking outside.

“Sorry buddy, you can’t go out yet,” he apologized, knowing that it was for the best.

They'd only moved in a few days ago, and Happy needed to get used to his new home. If he were to run away, he'd get lost trying to find his way back to their old apartment, and the last thing Natsu wanted was to end up like Rogue, who had spent all night frantically searching for Frosch when he had just moved in with Sting and failed to shut the front door behind him fast enough. Still, Natsu couldn’t help but feel guilty at the sight of Happy pawing at him from behind the glass. Maybe he could get him a cat leash tomorrow, so he could at least explore the backyard safely. One thing was for sure, he’d definitely give him some of his favorite fish treats to make up for a few hours of sitting alone inside. With that in mind, he smiled and took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh summer air and the delicious smell that came along with it. It was one of his favorites, and he instantly recognized it. One of his neighbors was grilling in his backyard. Too curious for his own good, Natsu followed the scent. His nose told him it was coming from the house to his left, from the backyard that was only separated from his by a tall wooden fence. Tall, but not tall enough to keep Natsu away. He was just able to peek over the top if he stood on his tippy toes.

He wanted to get an idea of who was living next to him, that’s all. Okay, and maybe he wanted to live through them a little as they indulged in one of his all-time favorite summer activities. \

Natsu had to repress a loud snort when he caught his first glimpse of his neighbor. The guy was dressed in only a pair of black boxers, his fair skin slick and shiny from the thick layer of sunblock he had applied. His back had white streaks and missed spots all over it from where he hadn’t been able to distribute it evenly, and some of the lotion was sticking to the dark hairs on his neck. But the absolute worst thing of all was that he obviously had no idea how to use a barbeque properly. “You know, your food is going to cook more evenly and taste a lot better if you close the lid,” Natsu suggested, bursting out in laughter when the guy jumped and almost dropped his tongs. “Idiot!” He whirled around and glared at Natsu, waving the tongs in the air as he stomped closer. Damn! This guy was actually pretty cute when he was mad.

"I almost burned myself. What were you thinking?!"

"That you weren't doing those ribs the justice they deserve," Natsu retorted, frustration rising within him once he managed to tear his eyes away from his half-naked neighbor and focus back on the grill. All that delicious aroma-filled smoke that would've added so much flavor to that gorgeous meat was getting away!

It was a fucking crime.

"Pay attention to what you were doing, you jackass! You gotta flip them over!"

The guy quickly returned to his grill to tend to his ribs, cursing as he fumbled with the tongs while trying to keep a safe distance between the searing heat of the barbecue and his own bare ribs.

"Man, you really suck at this," Natsu couldn't resist pointing out.

"Oh, and I suppose _you _could do better?"

In all honesty, Natsu was a terrible cook. He lacked the ability to multitask in the kitchen, always made an enormous mess, and often combined ingredients that his friends insisted should never be combined.

However, cooking and grilling were two completely different things to him. His dad had taught him how to cook meat on an open fire or a makeshift grill during camping trips since he was little, and he had it down to a fine art by now.

"You're damn right I can," he scoffed, taking the question as a challenge and being kind enough to climb over the fence and invite himself to his neighbor's backyard so he could show him how it was done.

"What are you doing?!"

"Saving your meat, of course! Move over."

Too stunned by what was happening, the guy didn't protest when Natsu snatched away the tongs. He just watched with his mouth open as Natsu flipped the ribs and set the grate to a higher level, making sure they'd cook slower. And much to Natsu’s amusement, it wasn't just the grill he was staring at.

Satisfied with his intervention, Natsu closed the lid and stepped back. "There, that should do it!" he grinned, putting the tongs down on a plate on the nearby table so he could hold out his hand in greeting. "I'm Natsu, by the way. I just moved here last Wednesday."

"... Gray," his neighbor replied, frowning warily but still accepting Natsu's hand and shaking it briefly. "Do you always stick your nose into other people's business like that?"

“Just wait, you’ll be thanking me soon enough.” Natsu said, amused by his neighbor's grumpy tone. “Anyway, you should be fine as long as you leave the lid closed for about an hour.”

“An hour?” Gray complained, “I thought grilling was supposed to be faster.”

“I mean, do you want fast, or do you want good?” Natsu drawled suggestively. He wasn’t sure if it was the beautiful weather or just the high he felt from having had a hot guy so obviously checking him out because normally he wasn’t much of a flirt, but he felt the urge to test the waters. “Cause I could show you both.”

Gray surprised him by laughing heartily at his innuendo. “There is seriously nothing subtle about you, is there?”

“Nope.” Natsu agreed and laughed along. “Well, it was nice to meet you. I’ll leave you to your grilling, gotta go set up my pool.”

He climbed the fence to get back into his yard, hearing Gray yell behind him. “You’re going to get yourself killed. Just use the gate next time.”

“But then, how could I show you my best asset?” Natsu retorted once he was safely over, chuckling as Gray muttered something he couldn’t quite make out. He wasn’t too worried, though. After all Gray had said next time.

0-0

Gray looked back at the grill, already tempted to open the lid and check on the ribs. What was he supposed to do for an hour? He’d mowed the grass earlier, and he didn’t feel comfortable staying inside while the grill was going.

The sun felt overly hot on his skin and he found shelter under a tree in his backyard. Playing on his phone had netted him ten minutes of entertainment and two group conversations he wasn’t all that interested in.

Maybe Natsu did know what he was talking about because the smell of the ribs cooking was making his mouth water in ravenous anticipation. Thinking about his new neighbor brought a smile to his face, especially since he heard odd noises coming from the other side of the fence. Didn’t he say something about a pool?

With all this time to kill, maybe he should go return the favor and see what he was up to.

With that in mind, Gray walked over to the fence and peered over it, unable to hold back a snort when he saw Natsu sitting on the ground and puffing air into a pink flamingo-shaped pool.

"Wow, I guess you really are full of hot air."

Natsu looked up at him, flashing that grin Gray was quickly developing a weak spot for. "So you think I'm hot?"

Yes, he sure as hell did, but he wasn’t about to give Natsu the satisfaction of saying so. At least... not yet.

“I think you’re having an awfully hard time blowing, which is… disappointing.”

"Huh. Never had any complaints before." Natsu shrugged, returning his attention to blowing air into the flamingo.

“Why don’t you let me show you how it’s done?” Gray said, feeling confident.

God knows he’d blown up a ton of these things for his brother’s kid. He’d quickly learned there was a little trick to it. You had to squeeze the valve as you blew into it or the air wouldn’t get in properly. Clearly, his hot dumbass of a neighbor didn't get that.

“You want to show me how well you blow?” Natsu tilted his head, looking amused by Gray’s suggestion. “How can I say no to that?”

Gray let himself into Natsu’s backyard, using the gate that connected their properties, like a normal person, and grabbed the pool away from Natsu. Using his trick, he quickly filled both rings of the pool.

“Color me impressed.” Natsu whistled in appreciation once Gray set the pool down on the grass. He filled it with water from the hose, which he oh so charmingly put between his legs, giggling to himself as he swung it around.

How the guy could go from flirting to acting like a five-year-old within the blink of an eye was beyond Gray, but he had to admit that it was oddly endearing.

Natsu jumped in with both feet as soon as the pool was filled, watching with glee as water sloshed out onto the grass from his efforts. He sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him, and immediately propped his arms around the pool’s rim.

“That feels so much better!” Natsu moaned happily.

Now that Natsu was inside it, Gray couldn't help but notice that the pool could fit two people, albeit a little snugly considering their size. And though normally he wouldn't be caught dead in one of these things- especially a pink flamingo one- it was a very hot day, and Natsu’s yard was a lot shadier than his.

"You want in?" Natsu asked, his lips stretching into a mischievous smile.

Gray’s eyes were drawn to the slightly pointy canines, finding them incredibly sexy, and he immediately wondered what kissing that mouth would feel like as Natsu patted the empty spot next to him invitingly.

What had gotten into him? He’d just met the guy, knew next to nothing about him, yet here he was acting like a hormone driven teenager. It wasn’t like him at all, but he couldn’t deny the chemistry that sizzled between them, so palpable he could almost touch it.

Besides, what was wrong with having a little fun? It was summer, and he had been in a bit of a dry spell for months.

That thought decided him.

“I suppose I could join you for a bit.”

He had just stepped one foot inside the pool when, to his surprise, Natsu stopped him. “Hang on a minute. I didn’t say you could come in. I only asked if you wanted to.”

“If you want in-” Natsu winked at him. “It’s gonna cost ya.”

“Cost me?” Gray sputtered in protest. “You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious. I will be more than happy to share my pool with you on this incredibly hot day, but only if you share some of those ribs with me.”

Gray had already been planning on doing that, but it was infinitely more fun to make Natsu work for it.

“I don’t know,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, which only netted him greasy fingers from the sunblock he’d slathered on earlier. “It seems to me like you’re getting the better end of the deal here. This is just a kiddie pool after all.”

“Alright, you drive a hard bargain, but I can respect that. How about this then? I’ll throw in some of my world famous special sauce.”

“World famous?” Gray scoffed, “It’s probably just something you picked up at the grocery store, but… okay, I’ll bite.”

“You promise?” Natsu gave him a cheeky smirk, one that ignited a need in Gray to get in that damn pool right the hell now and show him what he intended to do.

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Gray said. “Just don’t complain if it ends up being more than you bargained for.”

Gray was so determined to get in there that he completely forgot he was already partly in the pool, and tripped over the edge when he tried to step in. He caught himself with his hands but still ended up splashing Natsu, not to mention had the wind yanked out of his sails.

He looked up to see the damage. The water had darkened Natsu’s pink hair and flattened it against his face, softening his features and somehow making the bastard look even more attractive. Gray watched in rapt fascination as a drop of water traveled from Natsu’s cheek, joining others on its way down his neck and over his chest until rejoining the rest of the water at waist level.

“You’re right,” Natsu laughed loudly, slicking his hair back and away from his face. “That was definitely more than I bargained for. Nice entrance, by the way.”

Gray was utterly mortified, and he scrambled to sit down, desperately trying to come up with a witty comeback, but before he could say a word, Natsu had already splashed him. 

“There you go. No need to make that face. It’s a pool. We were going to get wet, eventually.” Natsu shrugged, his expression gradually changing to distaste as he looked at the water.

“Dude, what did you use for sunblock, SPF lard?”

“I burn easily!” Gray protested, smoothing out the bits of sunblock he could see on his skin.

“Yeah? Then maybe you should actually get it on all of your skin. Turn around.”

“It’s hard to reach back there! Besides, you just want an excuse to get your hands on me,” he argued, but did as he was told anyway, turning his back to Natsu.

“Yeah, that’s the idea. Are you complaining?”

Gray pouted but remained silent.

“That’s what I thought.”

It was hard to miss the smug tone in his voice.

Natsu’s hands spread the globs of lotion evenly across his back, occasionally stopping to knead on one of his muscles and then concentrating on his shoulders. Gray closed his eyes, biting his lip so as not to let on how much he was enjoying it. If this was what he got in exchange for some barbecued ribs, he'd love to know what other types of food Natsu liked.

“There you go.” Natsu said, giving his shoulders one last squeeze. “You can turn around now. It should be safe for you to walk in daylight again.”

Gray turned just in time to see Natsu lean back into his previous position.

“Are you implying I'm some sort of vampire? Cause I’m not the one with the pointy teeth.”

“No, but you are the one who offered to bite me.”

“True.” Gray laughed, and not wanting to lose the mood, he made his move, adjusting from a sitting position to a half straddle. He leaned in, close enough that he could feel the slight puff of Natsu’s breaths on his face as he murmured, “I can still make that happen.”

“You talk too much.” Natsu said just as quietly, peering into his eyes for a split second before closing his eyes and bridging the distance between them.

Gray hadn’t expected Natsu’s body to feel so warm against his, especially considering they were both wet from the pool water, and he instinctively pulled him closer. As arousing as the kiss was, and Natsu sucking on his tongue was definitely doing things to him, he realized he had no urge to push for more.

That should have been his first warning.

But he wasn’t really thinking about anything. His world had narrowed down to sensations. The torrid heat of Natsu’s mouth, the sharp sting of teeth nibbling on his lips, and the tingling pleasure of his hair being tugged, coupled with the sounds they were both making. Needy moans that would have embarrassed him if Natsu hadn’t sounded the same.

Gray liked it all a little too much. Already, the thought of separating filled him with a sense of dread. And perhaps that should have been his second warning.

He was busy running his hands up and down Natsu’s back when he felt him let go of his hair. His hands trailed down to his chest, but no lower, and he pulled away, leaving Gray to chase after him. Confused and more than a little disappointed, Gray opened his eyes. Natsu sat perfectly still, his eyes slightly widening as he sniffed the air. “THE RIBS!!!” Oh crap! He’d forgotten all about the ribs!

“Go open the lid,” Natsu urged, scrambling to get up and out of the pool. “I’ll be there in a few minutes with the sauce.”

Gray watched Natsu enter his house and then hurried over to his yard. The food smelled even better than before and when he opened the lid and poked the ribs with the tongs; he saw they were indeed done, the meat tender and ready to fall off the bone. Rather than stand around waiting awkwardly, he grabbed two beers from his fridge along with plates, napkins and utensils to bring outside.

He opened the sliding door that led to his backyard and found Natsu brushing sauce onto the ribs from an unmarked blue bottle. There was a content smile on his face as he worked away, and Gray felt a flutter in his stomach at the sight.

Shit!

He’d never been one for one-night stands, so why had he thought he’d just be able to go along this time? Because Natsu was hot and seemed willing?

Gray wanted to know more about him, but he wasn’t sure if Natsu felt the same way or if this was just a game he liked to play. What would happen if he played along to its inevitable conclusion? Would that be the end of it? The two of them- probably awkwardly- moving on as just neighbors who happened to have hooked up?

Was it wrong of him to want more?

Natsu looked up then, waving at him and gesturing him over. His smile widened when he noticed the beer bottles Gray was holding.

“Ooh, beer wasn’t part of the deal! I must have kissed you real good!” Natsu teased, accepting the bottle and easing some of the uncertainty Gray had felt about whether things would turn awkward after their make-out session in the pool.

“You’ll notice this is only domestic beer, so I wouldn’t get too full of myself if I were you.” Gray retorted, still playing along.

“Meh, beer is beer, and it goes great with ribs.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

The back and forth was nice, but Gray was itching to ask what was really on his mind.

Can I keep you? Or will you run off after the next pretty face that strikes your fancy?

The lid of the barbecue closed again, and Natsu walked over. “They should be ready in about five more minutes.”

He clinked bottles with him and took a swig. Gray followed suit and decided to just go for it. He’d rather know what to expect than hope for something that wasn’t meant to be.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” he blurted out, sounding a bit more eager than he would have liked.

“Sure, shoot.”

Natsu gave no sign he knew what was coming, or at least that’s what his relaxed posture seemed to broadcast.

“Do you do this kind of thing often?”

“Moving? God, no, I hate it with a passion. Might as well bury me here cause I’m never doing it again.”

“No,” Gray frowned. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” Natsu mock sighed, “I’m just trying to think of an answer that won’t go to your head.”

“What?” Gray didn’t know what to make of that answer. Was he trying to find a way to let him down gently?

“No, I don’t do this type of thing often.” Natsu admitted, meeting Gray’s eyes and holding his gaze. “Look, you’re hot and turned out to be fun to mess with, so I figured there was no harm in seeing where that led. But I’m not expecting anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Gray wanted to ask if that meant that he’d like to date, but to his chagrin, all that came out of his mouth was, “You think I’m hot?”

“See?” Natsu said, sounding amused. “What’d I tell you? Right to your head!”

He put his beer bottle down on the table and traded it in for the tongs and the plates before hurrying back to the grill to check on their food. Satisfied, he turned it off and heaped a large serving of ribs onto each plate.

Gray followed him to the table, only then noticing the sliced watermelon Natsu must have brought with him from his house. He bit into one to buy himself some time to organize his thoughts.

Next to him, Natsu had already begun to dig in, messily devouring the ribs, stopping only long enough to take a sip from his beer. Gray shrugged and did the same. It wasn’t like his table manners were anything to write home about, either. The moment the meat from the ribs touched his tongue, his taste buds were assaulted with flavor. Sweet, salty, spicy… all blending together in perfect harmony. It was by far the best ribs Gray had ever tasted. He could hardly believe they’d come off his grill. He glanced at Natsu admiringly. Not that he noticed, focused as he was on his plate.

“So, what other things can you make?”

Natsu looked up at his question. There was a glob of sauce at the corner of his mouth, driving Gray all sorts of crazy with the urge to kiss it off him, but he held strong.

For now.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but this is it. I can’t cook worth a damn.”

“That’s too bad.” Gray tried but failed to suppress a smile. “Guess I’ll just have to show you all the best places to eat around here, then. You busy tomorrow night?”

Natsu shook his head, breaking into a smile so blinding it wiped every single thought out of Gray’s head. Save one.

"Nope, I'm all yours," Natsu answered after what looked like a brief moment of contemplation.

Gray sure as hell liked the sound of that.

“There’s just one thing…”

Natsu tilted his head and scrunched up his nose in silent question, which was just perfect.

“You’ve got a little something there,” Gray said, leaning in and licking the sauce off before claiming Natsu’s lips hungrily.

The kiss tasted like sauce and beer, but most of all, it tasted like more. And more was definitely bound to follow soon, tomorrow night, and many more days after.

Gray could feel it.

[xenteaart]

Apocalypse Chronicles

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: Getting stuck in the apocalypse certainly has its ups and downs, and this is somewhat of a dairy with little glimpses into the life you two had.

Warnings: mentions of vomit

Note: This is sort of a part 2 to this fic. Also you can check out my other fics on this Commission AU right here!

Hopefully, this is a rollercoaster.

Day 548.

You and Five were currently on your way… somewhere. You rarely had any particular destination in mind, if you were being honest. Mainly, you were just moving from one place to another, seeking shelter and looking for food and other essentials such as clothes, medical supplies and many other things, most of which were really hard to come by.

It’s been a very long day, and a fairly hard one as well because the weather seemed to get harsher with each passing mile and moving one foot in front of the other was beginning to feel like an impossible task. So, since all of your focus and concentration went into walking, naturally, you’d stopped listening to what Five was saying about thirty minutes ago. Funnily enough, it took him that long to notice you completely zoning out and ignoring his passionate ranting.

“Hey! Have you been listening?” he asked bitterly, mostly just annoyed by the fact he’d been wasting his breath.

You quickly snapped out of your daze and blinked a few times.

“Charming.” Five added as he rolled his eyes. It was this very moment when you realized something and couldn’t help but smile widely, and he raised one eyebrow in confusion as to what could be making you so happy right now.

“Your voice is starting to crack,” you pointed out. He clearly didn’t expect you to say that, and it caught him completely off guard, making him forget he was mad at you mere seconds ago.

“My boy is turning into a man!” you exclaimed; tenderness, pride and just a tiny bit of sarcasm radiating from your voice. Five shook his head and scoffed at your observation as he was trying to conceal his embarrassment; rather unsuccessfully, you must say.

Getting stuck with a slightly older girl and going through puberty was, in his opinion, beyond humiliating.

You wrapped your arm around his shoulder and squeezed it lightly, pulling him closer as the sound of your joyful giggling was filling the air.

“Can’t wait till you start getting facial hair too,” you teased him and immediately felt his elbow kick your ribcage, the impact too mild to leave a bruise but certainly sudden enough to make you go “ouch!”

Day 1325.

“Five Hargreeves, you may wanna propose to me right now,” you screamed from a distance as you were still rummaging through the ruins of what used to be a grocery store. Oh, you knew he was going to love this.

After spending almost 4 years by Five’s side, you’ve come to know an impressive amount of facts about him, most of which were mundane and in the grand scheme of things, he would say, insignificant. But you didn’t see them as such and kept them all in mind, waiting for the right moment, and today was your lucky day.

“What?” he yelled back, a little confused by your assumption that seemingly came out of nowhere. Not that he didn’t like your company but marriage wasn’t on his to-do list quite yet.

As you awkwardly climbed over the debris, obviously carrying something in your hands but trying to hide it underneath your ill-fitted parka, you said, “Close your eyes.”

Five seemed hesitant, so you insisted.

“Come on, I know you don’t like surprises but it’s the nice kind, I promise.”

He finally complied and exhaled loudly as a means of communicating his growing impatience. You promptly pulled out a coffee pack from under your clothes, swept the dust off its surface in one quick motion and handed it over to Five.

“Look.”

“No way,” he opened his mouth, sincerely shocked you had managed to find something whole and completely untouched. And it happened to be coffee.

“I think I deserve at least a kiss on the cheek, wouldn't you say?” you grinned at how fast Five’s expression turned from grumpy and tired to excited and grateful.

In no time his tight grip found your waist, and he effortlessly spun you around, making you squeak in surprise as you clawed into his shoulders for support instinctively. His movements were smooth and confident as if you were light as a feather or rather weighed nothing at all, and you caught yourself really enjoying the warmth of his hands on your skin.

“You deserve a lot more than that,” Five replied with a sigh as he put you down carefully, his tone suddenly losing its playfulness and blossoming with something a titch more unexpected, and if you had to put a name on it, “affection” would be the most fitting.

Fortunately, the smudges of dirt on your skin were doing a very good job at hiding just how red your cheeks turned at the comment.

Day 1557.

“God, do you ever shut up?” Five snarled irritably, interrupting you mid-sentence, and your jaw dropped in shock. You could have sworn it felt exactly what getting stabbed in the stomach would feel like.

You were a very short-tempered individual and in any other context you would have snapped back, making some scathing comment and walking away with your chin up. This time - not a single word left your mouth as you were paralyzed by Five’s unfiltered hostility. You felt your eyes burn and immediately turned away to wipe away the tear rolling down your cheek, too proud to let him see how much it hurt.

In your defence, you weren’t much of a talker before the apocalypse but it didn’t take you long to find out that being locked up in your own head in a deathly quiet world was not a good way to spend your days. So you kept talking, for both Five’s and your own sanity. It made things feel less real, however paradoxical it may sound. But, more importantly, it was a gesture of care.

You spent the rest of the day without saying a word, and, to your disappointment, Five wasn’t willing to break the silence either. Not talking, however, didn’t mean not looking after each other, and you, of course, made him dinner while he organized a safe place for you both to spend the night.

Since there was never a roof over your heads, you tended to sleep very close to each other, exchanging body heat to keep each other warm. At first, it was only a safety precaution but the habit slowly transformed into something more meaningful, somewhat of a necessity to know and feel that the other was still alive and breathing, still there, safe and sound.

As the two of you were lying in your improvised bed, which was essentially just a few layers of blankets on the hard and unfriendly concrete, you felt Five’s hot breath against the back of your neck as he cuddled you from behind. The big spoon.

“I deeply regret saying that,” Five whispered and sighed in frustration at his own self. He knew he royally fucked up.

“Please, don’t ever stop talking. I need it and I need you, okay?” he uttered so quietly that it was almost inaudible but you caught every word.

You clenched your teeth.

“Okay.”

Day 1866.

Birthdays were never a happy event in the apocalypse and you only kept track of them in order to know your own age.

Every birthday was nothing but another reminder of how much time you’ve spent trapped in this nightmare, and there was truly nothing either of you wished to celebrate.

However, this time you decided to make an exception. Five was turning eighteen and, despite the fact that your circumstances were far from perfect, it was a big day nevertheless.

To say you had limited resources would be saying nothing at all. No cake, no candles, no decorations, no anything to create an environment for having fun, and the only thing at your disposal was your contagious enthusiasm. It wasn’t much but it was surely something.

“Wakey-wakey, sleeping beauty,” you whispered into Five’s ear as you tapped on his shoulder, gently breaking him out of his sleep. He murmured something incoherent and placed his hand over his eyes, trying to escape the bright and intrusive daylight.

“Come on, I’ve made you a birthday breakfast,” which wasn’t at all different from any other breakfast but you believed a sprinkle of love that you so thoughtfully added was definitely going to make it taste a bit less like wet cardboard.

“We have plans for today,” you stated proudly as you were waiting for Five to get up. He glanced at you suspiciously, and you were quick to reassure him.

“You can do your clever math things till evening but after that we’re celebrating. There are two bottles of wine that you didn’t know about, and we’re going to drink them and dance. But not ball dance, properly drunk dance. No sadness allowed. Instructions clear?”

Five nodded, feeling a weary yet content and cheerful smile touch the corners of his lips.

Maybe, it wasn’t going to be a shit day, after all.

Day 2587.

“Come on, don’t you dare die on me, you idiot,” Five hissed after pressing his lips against your forehead and coming to a disturbing conclusion that your fever was only getting worse.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” you laughed weakly as you looked up at him, and in less than a second a violent wave of nausea washed over your body and swallowed you whole, leaving you with very little chances to escape the overwhelming feeling. You’d been throwing up non-stop the entire day, and the severe dehydration you were suffering was becoming a genuine concern.

The two of you didn’t have the luxury of medicine, and most days you were doing just fine. This time, however, sleeping it off didn’t seem to be doing it for you, and Five was beginning to panic.

“Don’t say that,” Five said coldly, and you winced at the sudden change of mood, almost offended that he wasn’t trying to distract you from your mysterious illness with humor.

“I’m just worried about you,” he clarified as he noticed a gleam of sadness in your eyes.

It was absolutely killing him to see you like that - in pain, sick and exhausted, and he simply couldn’t afford to have “sad” on the list as well.

If there was one thing that Five despised more than anything else in this world, it would be helplessness, and now, as he was facing the invisible enemy that was threatening to take you away, he was feeling exactly that. Helpless. Useless.

You closed your eyes and tried to breathe through another urge to vomit, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth loudly, but the agonizing sensation didn’t seem to have any compassion or mercy for you.

“Okay, I can’t hold it back any longer,” you warned, and Five nodded in silent understanding.

He’d been sitting by your side and holding your hair all day, thoughtfully keeping it away from your face while you were restlessly puking your guts out, and, as you were doing so, not a single muscle on his face cringed in disgust. The only thing that was truly bothering him about this marathon of vomiting was how soon you were going to recover from it.

Thankfully, your immune system was strong enough to get you back on your feet without any external assistance, and you began to get better eventually. But even during your weeks of sickness there wasn’t a single day when you didn’t feel loved and cared for, and the precious moments of Five holding your hand during your feverish nightmares were going to be imprinted on your mind forever.

[4haechie]

stuck with you

➵ request: can i request fluff + au #2 + trope #1 "enemies to lovers" + prompt #4 & #19?? thank you 🥰

➵ lee donghyuck x reader | fluff, enemies to lovers au, high school au | 2,760 words | “take off your shirt.” + “can you shut up for just two seconds?”

➵ warnings: cursing and one second of suggestive stuff

➵ a/n: thank u for requesting! i really hope u like it :D i added timestamps to avoid confusion, so this turned out longer than expected oops. if u want a part 2, please let me know!

want to request? check this post out!

present time – thursday, 6:30 p.m. 

you’re starting to wish time machines existed right about now. you’ll do just about anything to go back to two hours ago and avoid this mess.

you glance up at donghyuck, who’s put on his thinking cap apparently, and is trying to come up with a way to get you two the hell out of here. “do you have a hairpin? or a bobby pin?” he asks.

you shake your head, “donghyuck, that only works in movies.”

“y/n, i’m trying to come up with solutions here! or do you wanna live in this tiny janitor’s closet for the rest of your life?” he glares at you.

“if i did, i would’ve chosen someone else to share oxygen with. why would i choose you?” you glare back.

he rolls his eyes, indicating that that conversation is over. “whatever. try calling your friends again. someone must still be at school, right?”

you frown, “donghyuck, we had the student council meeting earlier, remember? that ended at six, and it’s almost six-thirty now. all the sports teams’ practice sessions must’ve ended, too. i’m telling you, it’s just us in school.” you shake a little as if trying to wake up from a crazy dream. no avail.

you’re stuck here–no, wait. someone locked you two in here. you’re going to have to trace back your steps to figure out who.

thursday, 4:00 p.m.

“the weekly student council meeting is in session. today, we’re going to discuss prom! i’ve put up a list on the bulletin board that says who’s going to do what. please take a look at it immediately.” you explained, gazing around the group of students in front of you.

you’re the president and donghyuck is the vice president. you two work together almost every day, you’re in the same classes, you have the same friends. but there’s one minor detail in your guys’ relationship: you two hate each other.

hate might be a bit too strong of a word, but it’s true. you and donghyuck, despite working together and being in the same class since third grade, have never gotten along. maybe it’s your guys’ competitiveness. maybe it’s your strong desire to one-up the other. but as long as you can recall, there hasn’t been a single time when he hasn’t made your blood boil.

anyway, you and donghyuck were in charge of planning your senior prom, and ensuring everything and everyone follows said plan.

while discussing the event, you realised you forgot to check with your school’s janitor if he’s free on the day of prom, or if he’s taking a holiday. either way was fine with you, as you were thinking of making everyone clean up after themselves. but just to be sure, you and donghyuck, unfortunately, decided to stop by the closet after the meeting had ended.

thursday, 6:05 p.m.

“i don’t think he’s here. it is after school hours, so i think he went home,” you said, peeping into the dark closet. it was pretty obvious he wasn’t there–the room couldn’t have been more than five feet by five feet. it’s a storage space, but the janitor keeps his bag here before starting work and picks it up right before leaving school.

“yeah, no shit, sherlock.” donghyuck reached around you to flip the light switch on. the lone bulb suspended from the ceiling blazed to life, setting the room alight.

then, suddenly, a figure pushed donghyuck into the confined space, which caused you to jerk inwards. it happened so fast, you barely had time to react, or identify the culprit. you heard keys jingling and fear danced around in your eyes.

donghyuck was still facing the door, while you were standing with your back against the wall. he tried his best to look out the little glass rectangle fitted in the door, but he turned around and shook his head in frustration.

“what the fuck just happened,” you said; it came out more as a statement, but anger resonated through your words.

“we, er, just got locked in here.” he deadpanned as if you couldn’t have figured.

you groaned and clenched your fists. “i’m gonna kill them. you didn’t happen to see their face, did you?”

he shook his head, “nope.”

“well, we know one thing. that person had the key–and only two people have the key to the closet. the janitor, who’s not even here, and the general office staff. but i’m sure they wouldn’t lock us in here.” you said.

donghyuck tilted his head, “okay, then, who...” he trailed off, allowing you to vocalise your theories.

 “somebody must have stolen one of the two keys.” your brain’s gears started turning, trying to think of someone who would pull something like this.

“it could be the janitor’s keys. the closet was unlocked when we got here.” donghyuck reminded you.

“yeah...but he never leaves the closet unlocked. he’s very responsible, so it can’t be his set of keys. it’s probably the staff’s set,” you countered. “they barely pay any attention to non-admin matters. that person must’ve stolen their keys, unlocked the door after the janitor left, and waited for us to come here, before locking us in. jesus, i’m so angry. this is so fucking childish,” you groaned again.

donghyuck nodded in slight agreement, surprising you. he never agrees on anything you have to say, but he didn’t have much of a choice in that situation. plus, your theory made sense. “do you think this whole thing was renjun’s idea? he was the one who suggested we check with the janitor about prom night.”

your eyes widened in shock. “oh my god...wait, but it wasn’t renjun’s idea. it was mine, actually–he just reminded me to do so.” you slowly dropped down to the floor and held your head in your hands. you couldn’t believe what was going on. the entire situation seemed to just hit you.

you’re stuck in a small closet with lee donghyuck, your number one enemy.

present time – thursday, 6:40 p.m.

“none of them are picking up. donghyuck, what if they’re all in on this together? kind of like a senior prank–except we’re the ones getting pranked.” you say, panic rising in your voice. you’re standing now, leaning against the wall with your phone clutched tightly in your hand.

knowing your and donghyuck’s friends, you’re sure you’re going to be here all night. they’re quite a bunch. you and donghyuck have a common friend group, but your friends find your ongoing rivalry extremely annoying. it makes perfect sense if they locked you two in here.

donghyuck digests your words quickly. “no way. that’s insane! why the fuck would they do that?”

“well, do you have a better explanation? i’m sure you don’t, considering i’m the only one who’s been thinking of possible theories, while you’re here giving me the only suggestion you have–your stupid bobby pin idea,” you say, breathing heavily.

“can you shut up for just two seconds? always telling me what to do, disagreeing with me, arguing and fighting with me. we’re locked in here, and you think arguing like little kids is gonna get us out?” he shakes his head in disbelief. “god, and to think i had a crush on you last year.” he must not have meant to reveal that little secret, because his ears turn red instantly.

you gape at him, “what–what did you say?”

“look at you, getting a big head again–!”

“donghyuck.”

“i liked you! there, you happy?”

“i like–liked you too, idiot,” you say in a low voice.

then, he laughs–a melodious sound, emitting pure joy and rainbows and sunshine. “some type of rivals we are.”

you laugh with him now, finding the situation so pathetically sad that it was almost funny. laughable. something to reminisce from time to time.

“you...you still like me?” donghyuck asks in a small voice you’ve never heard before.

“take a guess.”

“no?”

you bite the inside of your cheek, “take another guess.”

he grins at you, leaning against one of the shelves–which was a bad move on his part. he accidentally knocks over a bottle of...detergent? who knows, but it ends up uncapped and half-empty once it lands on the floor. luckily it was plastic, so the bottle doesn’t break. unluckily, the other of the liquid splashes on you, soaking your entire shirt. your plain, white, shirt.

donghyuck freezes, “um...y/n, i’m sorry–”

you hold up a hand. the god of testing people’s patience must’ve signed you up for some competitive exam today. “save it.”

donghyuck looks around hastily, trying to find a clean rag. he produces a small yellow cloth from the back of one of the shelves and hands it to you, “here.”

you don’t even say thanks. you quickly take it from him, free your shirt from your jeans, and start wiping and drying it to the best of your ability. you manage to make the shirt as dry as possible, but it was detergent that spilt on you. it was soapy–it was not water. 

you groan for the third time today and look at donghyuck, gritting your teeth. “i can’t possibly go out like this.”

he winces, feeling extremely apologetic. “take off your shirt and wear my hoodie instead. i have two layers on,” he suggests.

you give him a double-take, “what the fuck? no! why would i do that?” you exclaim.

“do you have any better ideas?”

you watch as he swiftly takes his hoodie off, revealing a loose tee clad on his body. you hate to admit how good he looks. he hands the item of clothing to you, and you tell him to turn around as you begrudgingly peel your shirt away. you take the rag once again, wiping off as much soapy liquid as you can, and pull the hoodie over your head.

it smells like him, you think. it smells like that expensive cologne he always seems to wear. you show no indication that you find his hoodie soft and comforting, and tell him you’re done. you roll the shirt, squeezing any remnants of detergent out, and stuff it in your bag.

he bites back the smile daring to form on his lips upon seeing you in his hoodie. “okay. now that that’s over, let’s try to get out of here, shall we?”

you nod. “i have our science teacher’s number. maybe i could ask her to help us? she’s always here late, marking papers and assignments.”

donghyuck snaps his fingers, “you’re right! yeah, give her a call.”

you scroll through your contacts till you find the name you’re looking for. you press the call button and set it to speaker mode so donghyuck can hear as well. she picks up after three rings, “hello?”

“hi, miss angela! it’s me, y/n. you see, um, donghyuck and i got locked in the janitor’s closet by someone, and we have no way to get out. are you still in school? if you are, is it possible for you to unlock the door from the outside?”

miss angela hums a little, as if in thought, “i just left, my dear. i could turn the car around if you’d like. i’m sure the office keeps an extra set.”

“yes! that would be great. thank you, miss angela. and we’re sorry for the inconvenience,” you nudge donghyuck with your elbow, who catches on immediately.

“yeah, we’re incredibly sorry. i’ll be sure to submit an extra report–!”

“save it, lee donghyuck. i’ll be there in five to ten minutes,” she hangs up with that.

you pocket your phone and look at donghyuck. “so.”

“so,” he repeats.

“are we going to act like we didn’t just confess to one another earlier?” you ask, biting your lip nervously.

“no, i don’t want to, um, act like we didn’t. i lied, y/n. i had a crush on you last year, yeah, but i never stopped liking you. i still like you. i don’t want to be your enemy anymore.” he nudges you. 

you smile shyly, “i like you too, donghyuck.”

just then, you hear keys jingling–an all too familiar sound. you get excited, thinking you’re going to be met with the face of miss angela, but when the door bursts open, you see the smirking faces of renjun and jeno.

“about fucking time!” renjun pulls you and donghyuck outside.

“what?” donghyuck demands. “it was your idea to lock us in there? are you fucking kidding me?”

jeno grimaces, “i’m sorry, it was the only way you two would confess your feelings for each other and stop fighting for good.”

“i can think of plenty of ways–!”

“wait, y/n, are you wearing donghyuck’s hoodie? holy fuck...don’t tell me you guys did it.” renjun looks back and forth between you and donghyuck.

“what? no, of course not!” you retort.

“then why do you have his hoodie on, dear y/n?” jeno asks.

“that’s none of your damn business, lee jeno!” donghyuck looks ready to pounce on him, but you place a hand on his chest, stopping him. his gaze drops down to your hand and it softens.

“there was a little accident...but the good thing is that we’re out. hooray. now, everybody, go home. i have to call miss an–”

“y/n, thank goodness! what happened?” miss angela emerges into the scene, looking a little worried.

you briefly explain the evening’s events to her, without mentioning the confession part. she doesn’t need to know that. you tell her it was a silly prank. nothing more, nothing less.

she visibly sighs a breath of relief. “well, at least it wasn’t some stranger. jeno, renjun, i didn’t expect this from you two. but i’m glad you’re all okay.” she takes her leave, after ensuring you four are on your way home.

jeno and renjun go home via jeno’s car, and you and donghyuck, living only a couple of blocks away from school, decide to walk the journey.

“all this... just so we could stop fighting,” donghyuck laughs. you’re walking side by side, hands occasionally brushing against one another. it’s like something out of a cheesy rom-com. you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“it worked, didn’t it?” you say.

donghyuck stops on the pavement, turning his body to face you. he stretches out a hand to push a strand of hair behind your ear, making you bump his shoulder shyly. he smiles; he wouldn’t have it any other way either.

“i guess it did. but what do we do now?”

“what do you mean?” you raise an eyebrow.

“like, do i walk you home first? do i ask you on a date? god, with you, it’s just so much more...different. if it was someone else, i would’ve gone with my gut, but with you, i don’t wanna mess it up. you know?” donghyuck finally takes your hand in his, intertwining your fingers. you feel his warmth radiate, you feel his touch bringing you safety and comfort. something way more powerful than a hoodie.

“donghyuck, i’m new at this too. i’m just as scared as you are. and that’s okay, trust me. i’m glad it’s me and not anyone else.” you assure him.

you gather up whatever courage you have remaining, tip-toe, and brush your lips against his cheek. you stay there for a moment, just breathing him in. when you pull away, his cheeks are a dusty pink shade.

“do that again,” he tells you.

“no, i think i’m good.” you start walking again.

“y/n!” he whines.

“okay, on one condition.” he raises a brow, “ask me on a date.”

for a moment, he’s bewildered. then, he gets down on one fucking knee, not caring about anyone who might be watching, and clears his throat. “y/n, i like you so much. will you make me the happiest man alive, and go on a date with me this saturday?” he looks up at you expectantly.

you chuckle at his antics and give him a nod. “i would love to, lee donghyuck.”

he grins, all big and bright, and leaps up to envelop you in a hug. his arms go around your waist and yours circle his neck. he whispers in your hair, “i guess we owe renjun and jeno a thank you?”

“i am not going to thank them for locking us up in a closet. in fact, i’m gonna double their prom duties.” you feel his chest vibrate as he laughs at your comment.

however, you are thankful that it was lee donghyuck you got stuck with. so, forget the time machine. you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

[dc41896]

Attention

Pairing: Johnny “Human Torch” StormxBlack Reader

⚠️: Tiny bit of angst (if it even counts really), also tiny bit of implied happy times, but mostly fluff💕!

Re-reading over your notes for what felt like the millionth time this week, you softly mumble to yourself the highlighted material hoping that everything would remain stuck in your mind for your practical tomorrow.

“Intramuscular means within the muscle and is given at a 90 degree angle. Intravenous means within the vein, given at a 25 degree angle. Subcutaneous: in the subcutaneous layer at a 45 degree angle. And finally intradermal-,”

“Psst....psst!!”

If only your boyfriend would stop being a grown man child and let you finish studying though.

“Yes Johnny?,” you sigh still looking down at your binder.

“Take a break, I want to show you something.”

“No Johnny we’re not doing that again.”

“I wasn’t talking about that princess,” he smirks moving to lean against the bedroom door frame. “Although I’m not complaining if you want more.”

Giving him a look clearly showing how you weren’t in the mood, he chuckles holding up his hands to show he was done joking.

“Seriously though I want to show you something, so can you please come with me?”

“Just tell me, or take a picture of it on your phone and show me that way. I really have to keep studying and don’t have time for a bunch of breaks.” Straightening up, a low huff leaves his lips as you hear him pad through the living room before coming back holding a new action figure posed as if about to throw a handful of flames.

“Look! It’s me!,” he beams squatting next to you holding out the toy for you to see.

“Mhm that’s nice babe,” you smile not really displaying the reaction he wanted you to.

“I see you’re having a hard time containing your excitement,” he retorts sarcastically, bringing his mini me back towards his chest.

“It really is nice babe, it’s just similar to some of your other toys that I’ve already seen.”

“But with this one, the little flame lights up. See?” Pressing the small button on the back to show the tiny, plastic flame glowing scarlet, a wide smile spreads across his face making you giggle.

“Yes very cool. Now if that’s all, I gotta get back to this okay?”

“Alright,” he sighs standing up to return to his spot on the couch probably cold by now. “Why don’t you come study out here? It’ll be more comfortable than sitting on the floor.”

“Because you’re watching tv and that’s gonna distract me.”

“Not anymore. The game’s off so I’m done for the night,” he playfully smiles stealing one of your study packets making you whine his name. “Cmon you know you’d rather sit on the big, soft, incredibly comfy couch.”

Wiggling his brows, you roll your eyes trying to focus back on the words in front of you, but as always, seeing his adorable pout was wearing you down. Plus the ache in your buttcheeks was really making the couch, or any soft piece of furniture for that matter, sound like heaven.

“And, as an added bonus, your incredibly hot, charming, all around amazing boyfriend will be there.”

“Johnny...”

“As!...support and to help anyway I can of course. What did you think?,” he feigns shock as you shake your head.

“Alright fine. But if you try to distract me just once, I’m kicking you out for the rest of the night, and you’ll have to either get a hotel, or crash with Reed and Sue.”

“Okay deal,” he chuckles helping you stand and gather the packets, pens, and highlighters you needed to continue your attempted all nighter.

Sat in the middle of the plush sectional with one of his legs draped over your folded ones and the other stretched out behind you, so far he’d done well on his agreement. He stayed busy on his phone watching sports highlights with earbuds attached to his head, and hardly ever touched you unless to give a reassuring hug when he could sense you were getting overwhelmed, or softly dance his finger along your arm making you smile. He even started quizzing you from whichever packet you were on as you lied just below his chest playing with his free hand.

From how he was earlier, seemingly a bit more clingy and not wanting to be away from you, something told you deep down this was all he wanted. Just feeling your body near him as you did whatever, no matter how boring the task was. And although a little distracting, you couldn’t be completely mad at him for his antics since deep down you know you wanted it too.

Honestly need may be the better word judging from your noticeably calmer state. Even Johnny could feel your heart rate gradually decrease to its normal speed through his body.

Soon his yawn began to trigger your own set and eyelids became heavy as the questions came slower along with your answers. You tried to fight it off, but apparently your body had other plans making it increasingly more difficult to open your eyes until both of your light snores were the only sound that could be heard throughout the room.

———

“Good morning Mr. Johnny Storm, Miss Y/N,” the computerized security system greets opening the curtains to reveal the bright sun and cause you to stir. Rubbing your eyes, you see all the packets spread on the glass coffee table quickly reminding you of your exam.

“Sherlock, what time is it?,” you ask in a panic as you sit up causing Johnny to shift slightly without opening his eyes.

Also, why he decided to name the computer system Sherlock, you’d never understand.

“11:30 am miss.”

Grabbing your packets as fast as you can, a string of curses fall from your lips as you run about trying to collect your things. By now you were supposed to be on campus looking over your notes one last time before going in for your slot time at 12. At this rate, you’d definitely be over an hour late and received an automatic zero.

“What’s the rush princess?,” your boyfriend tiredly asks stretching his arms over his head as he stands.

“I overslept and I’m late,” you sniff trying to hold back your tears as you search through drawers trying to find your scrubs. “Where are they?”

Joining you in the room, he tries to kiss your cheek only to miss you completely as you rush past him still looking for your clothes.

“Closet babe. By my suit.”

“Well what about the other ones since those need to be washed now?”

“In the basket to be washed.”

“You mean the same clothes in the basket I asked you to wash last weekend,” you retort changing into the faint ash smelling scrubs. Noticing you wiping your eyes a bit more frequently, he manages to grab your arm stopping you from wherever else you needed to go.

“Johnny seriously I don’t have time for this-,”

“Relax okay? Let’s try to call your professor and tell them what happened to see if you can get a new time.”

“It’s not gonna work. This isn’t an emergency situation, I just overslept like an idiot,” you answer pulling away to finish the rest of your morning routine in the bathroom.

He sighs hearing you bang about while pulling his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants trying to find the number for your school. His upcoming events list popping up though makes him deeply chuckle as he shakes his head.

“Oh honey...!”

“Johnny please don’t start. I’m already frustrated a-and overwhelmed trying to figure out what to do and just need to-.” Holding his phone in front of your eyes, you see his calendar showing all his important meetings and interviews, along with your test date.

Which wasn’t until next Monday.

Pulling your phone from your backpack, you go to your calendar to find the same thing making you feel even dumber.

“...S-So I don’t have my test today?”

“No princess,” he smiles coming closer to caress your face with both hands, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

“And I stayed up all night this week studying for nothing?”

“Well not for nothing. You know your stuff now, so you won’t have to worry about it later.”

“Yea,” you sigh looking up at him as you hold onto his strong forearms. “Sorry for snapping at you about the laundry, and for kinda being cranky yesterday.”

“You were stressed. I get it.”

“But still, there were things I could’ve said differently-.”

“I forgive you,” he smiles leaning in to meet your soft lips with his in a needy kiss he’d been craving since yesterday. Biting your bottom lip as he just barely pulls away, your hands wander from his forearms to his flexed biceps, shoulders, and eventually chest stopping to graze your index finger along the small dip below his neck.

“Well since I don’t have an exam today and no classes, I was thinking...”

“Oh I think I know,” he smirks tilting his head lower to nip at your jaw and neck making you giggle.

“I help you do the laundry.” As soon as the sentence left your mouth, his stopped making you laugh harder while he groaned against your skin.

“Alright I promise it’ll get done today, but can’t we do it later?,” he whines with puppy eyes, lifting you so your legs could wrap around his hips as if trying to persuade you.

“Let me finish. We do the laundry so I can have clean scrubs and between loads, I give you all the attention I know you’ve been wanting that I wasn’t fully able to give this week.”

“Hey it’s not like I’ve been that-,” he tries to deny before meeting your eyes as if they were saying “really?”

“...yes please,” he smiles before his mouth returns to your smiling lips.

Taglist: @fumbling-fanfics @honeychicanawrites @honeychicana @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @maxcullen @literaturefeen @damnitaa @curlyhairclub @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jnk-812 @jojolu @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @secretmysteriousperson @scoop93535

If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged but don’t see your name, only want to be tagged for certain people I write for (can be found on my masterlist), or no longer wish to be tagged just let me know🤓!

[riisinaakka-draws]

part 2/6

2nd part of my old Black Sails scraps and doodles from 2016–2021. Not in any particular order.

This time the drawings are short comics that were abandoned for a reason or another, mostly because I lost the interest or felt like there was too much to redraw compared to the satisfaction of finishing something else more interesting. There’s also some talk about rigid mindset and how overthinking can lead to stagnation.

Contains early silverflint moments, specks of dust, rackham's glasses are found, jealous-Billy spying, desk-Flint gets caught, "squint-squint", a quiet moment and its bird dilemma etc.

And please do not steal and repost elsewhere. But if you do get inspired, feel free to make your own interpretations!

Long-ish post under the cut!

“What are you thinking about?”

“Specks of dust.”

“Liar.”

The idea was to show how much they and their relationship had changed. This was around 2016 when the season 3 began and I was still re-learning to draw with a tablet. Another art from the same time period (and idea) is this art: The Dynamic Duet. 

And for some reason I was really stuck up thinking that I’d have to first do the sketch, then the clean line art, then planes underneath, then shadows etc. and I have always struggled with that kind of approach! Mainly because I hate doing clean line work, lol. And I was a fool for trying to start with a white canvas! It’s so much harder to find values and plan things, or at least in my opinion..

“Rackham’s glasses are found”

To celebrate their new pirate alliance, they share the four lenses of Rackham’s sunglasses as they were also found at the time (because I wanted it to resurface and they could be made into jewellery you know...). This was right after the episode where Anne fights and hurts her hands (here wearing protecting mittens from Max even though she’s not trusted at the moment). Uh, this doesn’t spark joy interest me much and it’s quite stiff and would recuire a lot of redrawing faces, so - discarded!  

I somewhat like the idea still (them having something to share, although it’s on Jack’s detriment). I tried to find a stylished comical easier doodlier? way to draw them and draw clean lines etc, but it just wasn’t for me. Also here too, the background is blank and too bright. Later I started to think things as scenes and draw everything at the same time instead of adding the bg later or trying to show everything (and everyone) at the same time.

Here’s also Billy in the same story:

He’s spying on them and since it’s so bright he’s wearing his diy “sunglasses” and being envious to the others. *cough* uhhh...Idk? Also people were shipping Ben Gunn (and cheese) with Billy, so that bled into this too... Charles’ spirit is riding the “big white bird” that was mentioned in Teach’ story and in this case it’s a pelican.

As you can see, I also wasn’t using the brushes that I use nowadays. A hard (or soft) round brushes with no change in opacity just aren’t for me. For example, in traditional art, I struggle with markers and copics, but really enjoy charcoals and watercolours. I prefer ragged edges, layering and thus blending things into each other (and leaving the viewer to fill in the gaps) instead of having stark or definite things. I also struggle with vector drawings, although I have decided to finally start learning to use them...somedayyyy.

Also, I wasn’t paying attention to anatomy, like, at all LMAO. I was just so happy to be able to put something on the canvas.

This is one of my first ink drawings, but I cannot find the original anymore. Again, I like the idea, but not how things look art-wise. And I was so adamant, that I have to get everything right in the traditional drawing and not fix anything later on on photoshop because then it would be cheating. And thus, I was never able to move on or finish this properly the way I liked it (idiot).

BUT! It was a good practise to just draw and test things on paper and gain confidense on drawing things in overall (as I was still getting back into art). To get over the fear of blank paper you know, and try to find my style whatever it would start to form into.

Oh, yeah, Desk Flint.

Desk Flint was a thing for a while (still is, lol). Another drawing from that time is this Slingshot Pirate (2016). And Desk Flint keeps repeating in many later works too. The point is mainly “Flint sitting behind his desk and people interrupt him and I don’t have to draw him fully”

Well, anyway... moving on.

Here’s a plan that has been stuck for years. It’s name is “Squint-squint.” Left is the sketch (with another sketch underneath because the expressions were clearer in the old one). On the right is the continued piece with colour scheme but I cropped the eyes panel and faces out (it was so ugly for some reason) but if I ever continue/finish this, it will be redrawn there in the middle.)

Left. “On that moment their eyes were literally open(ed).”

Right. “After squinting on the shore for days, they had actually forgotten how pretty the other idiot’s eyes were.”

I still like it, quite a lot, but my perfectionist ass only sees too much “boring” things to draw and get right, so it hasn’t been a priority for a long time and other works have kept me occupied and more interested in them.

--------------------

“Quiet Moment.” 2018 (a wordless comic happening after the events of Charles Town)

I’m going to explain after these pictures, but see how big the difference is when you start to look at references and plan things together (the space, “camera” movement, background etc). I also started to colour with coarser brushes:

I drew this around early 2018. A lot of improvement! Still quite a lot of negative space (empty white backgrounds), but it fits this work. A few things tell where we are (the ship’s cabin and the balcony). Changing distances and how things are cropped/framed make things more moving and focused (and less to draw, lol). Colours and brush strokes are softer, more layered and so on.

But guess why it’s still a wip!

I couldn’t decide what bird is flying over there.

Yeap! At first it was an albatross (doesn’t go to Bahamas?). Then a seagull (but which seagull? there’s so many subspecies! Is the ship at sea or at the harbour? what birds are there on the open water/ close to the shore?? oh noo...) So, yeah, wayyyy too much over-thinking.

At some point I ended up with white-tailed-tropic-bird which was a plus! because it sounds like the bosun’s whistle, but at that point I was so tangled and frustrated and still had so much to finish with this that I left it be. Also Flint’s face looks different in every frame so I would’ve had to change some parts, lol. And then I forgot it for a couple of years! And then I had learned to draw a bit differently and again saw too much things to do, so it’s quite hard to take on this again, especially when there are so many other interesting wips waiting...

But I still really like the feeling of it! And the colour scheme. So I might just limit the things I’m allowed to fix and then post it as it own someday. I mean, it’s 90% finished, but the last reach just feels like miles.

And that’s what usually happens with my wips. They reach a certain point and it suddenly becomes really hard to finish or get back into.

But every time I learn things and then use the information in another work! :D

Final note for this post (altough this has been said hundreds of times): use references and look how things go and try to see the structure and form beneath things. And think where it is happening and how the light and surroundings affects the characters and/or spaces. And maybe think what you’re trying to convey with the art, what idea? what emotions? what purpose? or like, what are you trying to learn with the piece? and so on...

Thanks for checking this out, I hope you had fun <3

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

(Prompts with boxes have been taken, highlighted have been written)

Requests for this card are closed, thank you to anyone who sent in requests! If you don’t want to see these you can block the tag #false bthb. As always shoot me an ask if you wanna be tagged in future stories, whether it be for bad things happen bingo or any of the other series, one shots or in general!

Unrequested.

General Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @im-an-anxious-wreck

Cold Hard Bitch

Summary: Janus is sick and Virgil is at a loss for what to do. Deciding he needs to brave the field that separates them from the others in the mindscape he finds out that things are definitely not always as they seem- sometimes for the worse. (Happy Ending)

Warnings: sick character, brief mention of vomiting, fever, hypothermia, panic, mild swearing, injury, unsympathetic Patton (if there are more please let me know)

Prompt: Hypothermia

Ships: familial Anxciet (familial Virgil and Janus)

WC: 4742

kudos to whoever knows what song the title is 

Tripping loudly down the stairs, Virgil winced at the noise while tugging his jacket tighter around himself. The heat was running but it was always so cold in their section of the house; fitting for them since they had no place with the main three but it would be nice if at some point they could regulate the temperature a bit better. He knew for a fact Princey probably could but god forbid if he ever did anything that wasn’t out of spite or for his own self interests. And they called Virgil selfish. He glanced into the common room as he cleared the last step, just barely making out a shock of fluffy blonde hair peeking over the armrest of the couch. Janus had probably had a late night again, especially if he hadn't even made any sort of sarcastic remark at how much noise Virgil had made or at least looked up to see that it wasn’t Remus. Screwing his mouth to one side Virgil made his way to the kitchen to make some tea. He preferred cocoa but he knew Janus liked peppermint tea and honestly as long as it was hot he really wasn't going to complain about what kind of liquid he poured down his throat.

Puttering around the kitchen while he waited for the tea to boil he caught sight of the time on the oven’s clock. Four pm already? Where had the day gone? He glanced back to the couch and frowned, worrying at his bottom lip. More importantly, where had Janus’ day gone? He should definitely be up by now and usually at around this time he was the one starting dinner; unless Remus had tied him to the furniture again there shouldn’t be any reason for him to not be up and moving around. Especially since none of them had had to do any particularly strenuous work lately that he knew of. Snapping his head around with the kettle’s whistle he quickly took it off the heat and poured the boiling water into the prepared mugs, still mulling over the possibilities of why Janus was laying on the couch. Taking both mugs in hand he hesitated in the doorway, fidgeting from foot to foot and trying his hardest to come up with a reason why Janus should simply be left alone. 

There were too many variables to think of, too many things that his brain was telling him might be wrong but none of which could be confirmed until he actually went over and checked. He knew this, he definitely did but at the same time- what if Janus was just ignoring him hoping he’d go away so he wouldn’t have to talk to him? That had never been the case before but who’s to say it wasn’t now? Maybe he had pulled an all nighter and was just now geting rest and Virgil was going to selfishly ruin it because he was concerned about dinner- that wasn’t all he was concerned about but Jnaus wasn’t a mind reader and he’d probably assume that that’s what Virgil wanted because Anxiety was incompetent and stupid and couldn’t do anything for himself. 

That last thought definitely wasn’t true and he knew it. Janus loved him and even if he could be a bit of a dick at the best of times he still cared a great deal for Virgil and he knew that. He doubted Janus would actually care and would probably think the embodiment of anxiety worrying over him would be sweet...as annoying as that was. All he needed to do was go over, shake him awake and ask if he was alright. Then he could go back to sleep or get up and Virgil would help make dinner and try to flush Remus out of whatever hell portal he had sequestered himself into that particular day. They’d all have a late start to their day and maybe watch movies or something and it would be fine just like it always was: the three of them- four on rare occasions- hanging out like nothing had ever been different and he’d be able to laugh off his panic in the morning before he found something different to worry about. All he had to do was step forward, one step and everything would be set in motion and he’d see that this day was fine and nothing at all to fret over.

Blowing out his cheeks he gripped the handles tightly and stepped forward, the steps getting easier and easier to take the further he went. He didn’t even glance at Janus at first, simply placing the mugs down on the coffee table coasters because “We aren’t heathens, Virgil.” and listening for the sounds of his soft snoring that he was all too familiar with from curling himself up next to the deceitful side on night’s he couldn’t sleep and nothing else he did helped except cuddle as close as possible to someone else to feel safe. Most of the time it didn’t work and he’d leave in the early hours but there were a few occasions when he’d wake up gripped tightly around the middle with the other breathing against the back of his neck. He liked those nights the best, he slept well for weeks afterwards. 

His heart sped up however when the sound of snoring never reached his ears but rather quiet, rasping gasps that sounded like it was almost painful to draw breath in. Leaning over and down quickly he placed a shaking hand on the oblivious sides’ forehead only to quickly retract it with a worried hiss. Janus was far, far too warm for his liking and when he looked closer he could see beads of sweat running down his cheeks as his lips parted to breath those shuddering, rasping breaths. It wasn’t often any of them got sick and when they did it was usually nothing more than a small head cold that was gone within a couple of days- provided they were resting properly. One look over Deceit had Virgil guessing this had been coming on for at least a week but it had gotten ignored in favor of working and then overworking, which again, the hypocrite was constantly chiding Virgil and Remus both for. Always remember to take your breaks, he said; a ten minute break was better than a ten week one.

“Of course you can’t even listen to your own advice, you idiot.” Virgil growled under his breath, running quick fingers through his hair as he looked around for what he could do. He knew how to take care of someone who was sick with a mild cold or odd bout of nausea, but it was something else entirely when the person in front of you was practically comatose while he burned alive on your couch. Burning! The way to treat fevers was to cool the person down first- so his first step should be stripping Janus of his gross, sweat stained clothes and into something that breathed better and maybe getting a damp cloth for his forehead. Nodding to himself he sunk into Janus’ room quickly to find what he’d need.

“Remus!” Pulling open the drawer he knew pajamas to be he quickly got out thin cotton pants and a shirt hoping that they would be more comfortable than the everyday layers that the other had fallen asleep in. Foregoing gloves and deciding Janus would just have to deal with it he left the room and made his way to the bathroom to get the damp cloth. “Remus are you here?”

He didn’t want to shout loud in case he woke Janus but he doubted Remus would answer anyway. The last they had seen him had been a couple of days ago when he informed them he was working on a new project deep in one of the forests so realistically he couldn’t expect him to be within yelling distance. It just figured that now that he was mostly alone with no one to ask for help caring for a sick side outside of said side Remus decided to fuck off into the woods somewhere. Huffing in frustration he wet the cloth and slammed the faucet off before sinking back down to the common room, holding the clothes out and changing Janus with a snap of his fingers and gently placing the washcloth across his forehead. Janus winced slightly but made no other indication he minded the change, relaxing after a few seconds but looking no better for the time being. Wringing his hands Virgil paced around, unsure what to do and not knowing who to ask. Remus wasn’t here and- well best not to approach him unless it was absolutely necessary, not that Virgil would know where to look anyway. And then there were the main three on the other side of the mindscape- but they would be almost impossible to reach as he and Janus were. Defeated for the moment he plopped down to watch Janus, forgotten tea cold and unwelcoming as the room grew darker with the setting sun.

-----

The next morning was worse.

Virgil didn’t know when Janus had last eaten anything but he knew vomit shouldn’t look that dark for someone who was barely gagging anything up. His eyes were unfocused and Virgil had to practically carry the side to the sink to rinse his mouth. No amount of prompting seemed to get through to him however and Virgil ended up having to cup water in his own hand and hold it to his mouth to try and get him to rinse and them drink something but most of it just dribbled down his chin as he weakly clutched to his hoodie and panted for breath he couldn’t seem to catch. Frightened, Virgil sunk them back downstairs and laid him onto the couch, where he fell into a heavy sleep once again as soon as his head hit the pillow. The cloth wasn’t helping and no amount of googling gave him any answers as to what he should do. When regular people got sick like this it often made sense. There were symptoms that matched with certain diseases or viruses and you got treated for whatever one you had. Sides however, got sick differently. Stress could turn a cold into something that resembled death. Creative block could manifest into a coma. Anxiety could have someone thin as a rail from lack of appetite and dehydration. With careful monitoring and proper care one could avoid the extremes, but sometimes there was nothing you could do and you just had to ride it out and hope you made it to the other side.

This was different though, He was alone and had no idea if this was from stress or exhaustion or fear. He didn’t know if Janus had ignored it for so long it had decided to hit him full force to teach him a lesson. All he knew was that it was bad and he needed help but he didn’t have any so it was only going to get worse which could end one of two ways: he watched as Janus pulled through or he watched as he continued to get worse until he reached a point he can’t return from.

Tears pricked his eyes at the thought. They didn’t always get along, but to lose him entirely- he glanced out the window and subconsciously pulled his jacket tighter around himself. He was going to have to go to the others and hope that maybe they could help if he wasn’t immediately turned away. Listening to Janus rasp painfully in the otherwise silent room, he really didn’t have any other option.

Mind made up he stood and snapped his fingers, instantly bundling them both up tight and warm, wincing in sympathy as Janus’ face contorted with discomfort. “I know, but it’s a lot better than the alternative. Let me try and get you attached here-”

The alternative being freezing  to death in the constant blizzard that separated them from the other sides. Princey was petty but so was Remus so they had both decided the best idea was to make sure neither of them could enter the others’ domain without permission or extreme difficulty. They had made a simple snowfield at first, but everytime a bit of tension rose it turned into a snowstorm so thick you had only your instinct to go by if you wanted to walk in the right direction. Freezing temperatures and biting winds and a frozen lake that was hopefully snowed over so they didn’t slip went on for a mile or so between the two spaces, which really wasn’t a lot but added with the other variables it made for an extremely dangerous journey that Virgil was loathe to bring Janus into but he couldn’t see any alternative with how things were currently going. 

Cursing Remus and the sids across the mindscape one last time he got Janus’ arms secured around  his neck, hoping to everything Thomas his last bout of vomiting actually would be his last- at least until Princey was in their sights. Tucking his hands underneath his thighs he took a deep breath and stood, nearly bursting into tears on the spot as he realized just how light Janus was. 

“It’s fine, you’re fine. We'll get you there and it’ll be fine.” Repeating the mantra desperately he hurried to the door and managed to jimmy it open without jostling his cargo, shutting it behind him with his foot and looking out across the field.

He could see the other house from their porch but he knew as soon as he stepped beyond their “line” it would immediately be obscured by the snow. Settling Deceit one last time and making sure he was facing towards the house he began to walk towards the line, becoming more and more grateful he had bundled them the way he did as the temperature lowered the closer they got to it. Taking one last deep breath right before the barrier he stepped forward with determination.

And almost immediately got blown back with the wall of wind that slammed against him, filling his eyes with stinging snow and covering them both with a thin layer of ice in a matter of seconds. Virgil swore as he hugged Janus closer to himself and walked further into the field, having to fight his way through snow that piled up to his knees in the deepest parts. He only just barely understood why the others didn’t like them in the first place but going so far as to make it this difficult to get to them was a bit much in his opinion. As far as he knew they had only had a few major fights about certain decisions Thomas had made throughout their lives- he had always been kept more in the background of things and with how chaotic things could get he wasn’t about to complain- things had always been resolved one way or another though so this level of “protection” was hardly warranted. Leave it to them to take such extreme measures to keep out opinions that didn’t line up exactly with their own.

The wind howled as snow continued to fall around them and for as hard as he was trying to get through the storm he felt like he had barely made any progress. The only indicator that he was moving at all was the burn in his thighs and hips from having to bring his knees practically up to his chest every time he took a step to prevent his feet from getting stuck in the snow. It was freezing and he could feel the snow beginning to soak into his clothes making them stick to his sweat soaked skin even more than they already were. He couldn’t see, couldn’t hear- hell he could just barely feel the weight of Janus on his back as his strength began to fade and nothing but sheer force of will kept him moving, his mind numbing along with the rest of his body. He had always had a terrible sense of time and in hindsight he really should have brought his phone or put a watch on to keep track of it, feeling as if he had already been walking for hours and not being able to see the house through the blizzard to keep track of his progress. They were just stuck in a field of white snow and white noise and cold, and a harsh wind that pushed him back two steps for every one he took. 

Despite the seeming hopelessness of the situation Virgil simply grit his teeth and pushed on. There was no turning back now, he honestly didn’t think he could find his way home if he did. Janus needed help that he couldn’t provide and he’d be damned if he had dragged them both into this mess for nothing. He concentrated hard on making sure the deceitful side was still held securely in his arms and that his numb legs were in fact still pushing them forward, he had stopped feeling the burn in his legs from pushing through the snow a while ago and had nothing else to go on but the sight of his boots breaking the bank every now and again. Just keep moving, first one foot and then the other, try to breathe evenly despite the burn in his chest preventing him from taking deep breaths-

He gasped as his foot sunk deeper than normal and the snow came up to just below his pelvis. Trying to backtrack just made him overbalance however and with a shout he twisted just in time to take the brunt of the fall on his side as they sunk into the snow, losing his grip on Janus as his arm twisted painfully underneath him and snow found its way under his scarf down his neck. He lay there for a few seconds breathing hard and shivering, feeling himself on the verge of tears as he began to crash and felt suddenly exhausted, wondering just how long he could get away with just staying down and maybe closing his eyes for a few seconds. He needed rest and the snow wasn’t that cold when he really thought about it- it was soft enough to be at least a little bit comfortable and at this point he’d take what he could get. His vision began to darken so he shut his eyes and breathed, feeling himself drift as he finally stopped shivering and began to warm up after so long of being achingly cold. Everything would be fine after he slept; sleep always fixed everything.

He snapped up in a panic as a coughing fit that wasn’t his own brought him out of his thoughts. Swearing loudly he crawled with some difficulty over to where Janus was currently attempting to hack out a lung, curled into himself and wheezing painfully. Virgil brushed as much snow off of him as he could with stiff fingers he could barely move and searched around desperately for any sign they were close to their destination. If he squinted to his left he could just barely make out a large looming shadow maybe a few yards away though the blizzard tried desperately to obscure it from  his view. That had to be it! Only a few more yards and he could know on the door and hope to everything Thomas they would let at least Janus in to recover; he didn’t think he’d be able to carry him all the way back if they refused. Getting up on shaking legs he realized he wouldn’t be able to carry him even this short distance either, fingers refusing to cooperate as he clumsily tried to get the other back onto his back. Biting back even more curses he managed to swing Janus’ arm across his shoulders and get a grip around his waist to hoist him up that way, taking a limping sideways step towards the house while dragging the deadweight along with him. His limbs were weak and numb and he felt like he could collapse again at any moment but he had to get Janus to safety- to someplace warm where someone would hopefully know how to take care of him. Just a few more feet, Virgil could do that.

Janus’ boots thumped loudly against the side of the steps as Virgil slammed his way up the porch clutching him as tightly as he was able. He didn’t dare take either of his hands away for fear of dropping him, instead opting to kick the bottom of the door as hard as he could with stiff, uncoordinated jerks while trying his best to keep his eyes from shutting. He blinked as the door swung open and a sword was suddenly in his face, eyes roaming upwards until he caught sight of Princey's confused expression.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” He croaked weakly, stumbling forward as darkness claimed him at last.

-----

“Not on his arms Patton.”

“But that’s where he’s cold!”

“And that will cause the cold blood to circulate which can lead to cardiac arrest or shock. Put them on his chest and under his neck and then cover him with blankets. His limbs need to come to room temperature and then warm up on their own.”

Virgil was only vaguely aware of the conversation around him as he tried harder than he had ever done anything in his life to open his eyes or move his limbs in some way. Panic swelled in his chest as everything remained unresponsive, leaving him at the other sides’ mercy for whatever they planned to do to him for invading their side of the mindscape. His thoughts were cut off as something dry and warm was pressed against his chest, instantly relaxing him as he revelled in the new found warmth. He felt as his head was gently lifted and another dry but warm thing was tucked under his neck and then a calming, heavy weight was draped over him, trapping the heat and relaxing his muscles even as he couldn’t stop shivering. Oh, he was shivering. When had that started again? And where was Janus? They had taken him too right?

Still fighting to open his eyes he began to heave himself upwards, uncooperative limbs be damned he needed to know that Janus was safe. A panicked whimper escaped him as he was gently pushed back down, being shushed by whoever it was that had tucked him in; he was guessing it had been Morality.

“Shh honey, you’re okay. Deceit is too. He's on the other couch beside you. Logan said he had a bad cold but it’s nothing we can’t fix with medicine and rest okay? You’re safe I promise but you need to stay here.” Virgil barely registered the second part of what had been said, simply hearing that Janus was alright was enough to ease his worries and had him slipping back into unconsciousness before anything else could be said.

-----

The next time Virgil awoke he was able to move much easier, which he did fairly quickly to bury his face in the blankets to block the sun from melting his eyes. Until he remembered where he was and he threw the blankets off so fast Janus would be proud of him if he was awake to see it. As it was he was snuggled into just as many blankets as Virgil had been, curled on his side and looking so much better than he had been- sporting a happy blep to boot. Smiling softly in relief he reached over to lay a hand on his forehead, sagging further when he felt the skin was cool and dry. He actually would be okay then- Virgil wondered what it was exactly that the others had done to cure him so quickly but he shook away his suspicion of now to glance towards the kitchen where he could hear soft murmurings filtering through to where he was sitting.

“I’m not making an exception! Yes it was an emergency this time but you really want to make it easier for them to come over here? What if they get to Thomas?”

“We would make sure they wouldn’t-”

“That outside is making sure they wouldn’t, Lo! We’re all busy enough without having to make sure a window isn’t smashed with someone running unsupervised trying to do God knows what-”

“Patton, you’re being unreasonable.”

“Roman you aren’t telling me you’d trust you’re brother in here?”

“I...no. I definitely wouldn’t.”

“See Logan? We’’l just set up better communication for them so if something like this happens again we don’t run the risk of them fading but we preserve the safety of Thomas. It’s perfect.”

Virgil stumbled back into the back of the couch, slapping a hand over his mouth as he reeled in shock. Morality was so...cold. But- he had been so nice when he was half dead on the couch, why would he act like that if he didn’t actually care? He shook his head and turned back to Janus; they needed to leave and they needed to do it now- he knew he shouldn’t have trusted them.

He was just uncovering the reptilian side and trying his best not to wake him up as he got into position to carry him when the sound of a throat clearing froze his blood solid. He turned defensively, eyes already starting to glow as he stepped fully in front of Janus when he saw Logic lift his hands in a peaceful gesture, not helping to lower his guard but making him curious as to what the other wanted.

“Pat- Morality and Prince are gone, I told them I needed time to check on you alone.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Alright.”

Logan gestured to Janus. “He’ll be fine, just make sure he’s well rested and keep him in bed if you can. Things have been...stressful lately; that’s most likely the reason he fell ill in the first place.”

Virgil nodded again, not letting his eyes stray from Logic’s hands for a moment. He knew what the other could do; he had only seen it once but once was always enough if the action was impactful enough. The only thing ensuring Virgil didn’t try anything stupid was the fact that he couldn’t sink out and he wouldn’t get very far through the snow.

Logan softened, lowering his hands slowly. “I know that....well, it actually doesn’t matter. I hope he recovers quickly and completely. The barriers are temporarily lowered. I suggest you sink out with him before Morality notices.”

Heart still hammering in his chest, Virgil scrutinized Logic’s face for any hint of deception, finding none didn’t really make him feel any better though. He wanted out and if the other was willing to let them go he’d take the chance before it was taken away. Laying a careful hand on Janus’ shoulder, he spared the other one last look before mouthing a quick “Thank you.” and sinking back into their side of the mindscape, shoulders sagging in relief that that’s actually where they ended up and he wasn’t set up into a trap. Janus huffed softly and snuggled further into their own couch, which made Virgil smile and run careful fingers through his soft hair in a soothing gesture for both of them. Blepping happily in his sleep the deceitful side leaned into the motion and relaxed completely, looking healthier than he had in a long time.

“You’re lucky you’re cute or I’d tell Remus to set fire to your favorite hat for what you put us through.” His tone was joking but he wondered briefly if anything would be any different moving forward. Logic out of all of them seemed the side one would trust the least but from what he had heard- he shook his head and sighed, reaching up to grab a blanket to cover Janus with. That wasn’t what was important right now and as much as his function screamed at him he didn’t have the energy to worry about it. Nudging Janus over he made himself comfortable on the edge of the couch and sighed heavily, closing his eyes against the onslaught of thoughts that would plague him long into the future.

This work is also available on AO3!

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[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: The Anime (pt. 4)

The anime is a different species than the manga, something that frequently happens during the adaptation from page to screen. Since they’re so different, I’ll analyze them separately.

In the last few parts, we talked about NatsuMikan's story divergence in the anime, and how an even minor change can seem pretty significant with added context. Here, we'll be exploring just two episodes, but two episodes that are pretty layered and have plenty of stuff to analyze!

Episode 18 vs. Chapter 21

The haunted house episode was pretty well-adapted in the anime. They did a good job of elongating the events and filling up the timespan of an episode while keeping the events interesting and suspenseful. I love the addition of Sumire and Jinno (especially with the discovery that he’s easily frightened). Jinno electrocuting the house and causing the electric problems makes a lot more sense than Iinchou passing out due to fear and coincidentally falling on the generator. In any case, the anime makes Natsume’s jealousy when Mikan clings to Ruka more clear.

The anime adds Natsume shielding Mikan from the wall when it falls, something that I always thought was cute, especially when Mikan reveals she had been awake but in shock and Natsume reacts with frustration. It further proves Ruka’s point from earlier in the episode that despite Natsume’s attitude, he is actually selfless. He will do selfless things and then act like they didn’t happen, like they didn’t bother him, etc., even if they resulted in something serious, like his leg being injured.

It just…. keeps me going.

Much of the events are the same but with minor tweaks, such as Natsume just seeing Mikan’s underwear instead of kicking her skirt up. The anime also has a much less suggestive scene for Iinchou and Ruka to walk in on. In the anime, Mikan is simply hanging over Natsume. Natsume is even flinching away from her. Leave room for Jesus.

The difference though.

The episode starts with the tea scene, as well, unlike in the chapter, and it concludes with Mikan discussing with Ruka her dream of seeing her grandfather again and becoming a strong alice. Ruka doesn’t share his dream, but we see a glimpse of it: living on a farm with many animals and Natsume, his best friend, and Mikan. There’s also more emphasis on the parallels between Natsume and Ruka’s friendship with Hotaru and Mikan. The manga does explore these similarities on its own time, but the anime jumps right in. No, they aren’t perfect mirrors of each other, but there are parallels. But Mikan and Ruka aren’t the only ones who have much in common. And just like Natsume and Mikan have a lot in common, so do Ruka and Hotaru, one of the sadly unexplored relationships in both the anime and the manga. But that’s not what this essay is about so we will move on ;-;

Episode 19 vs. Chapter 23 & 24

The next episode is the play one. There is more suspense leading up to the reveal of Ruka’s role in the Somatic play and more humorous additions to fill the episode. It adds Mikan scolding Natsume for being selfish when he refuses to dress as a cat for the play, giving him one more incentive in addition to “Narumi told him to” and “the kid is sad”. Just like in the manga, but with more emphasis, Mikan is the only girl unafraid to call Natsume cute and affectionately tease him for his outfit. In the anime, she giggles as she pokes his ears and it’s very cute. Naturally, in both versions, he reacts by flicking her forehead.

Mikan is a furry becau--

And Natsume is, in both versions, the one who volunteers Mikan for the role of the prince without really thinking about the consequences (because he’s an idiot). In the anime, he’s more spiteful, acting out of revenge for having to dress up as a cat. When she tries to refuse, it’s his turn to scold her, when he reminds her that everyone’s freaked out by the sticky balls and are in the same boat.

There’s consequent jealousy (because of course there is; Natsume is an idiot). Ruka and Mikan bond over their roles and forced situations and Natsume watches from afar, probably feeling nothing but regret because he’s the one that made it all happen. Ah… how poetic. There’s an added scene where Mikan and Sumire have a fight and Sumire’s character dies in a horrible explosion (that was funny but also kind of unnecessary). The almost-kiss is much more poetic in the anime, of course. Natsume throws an apple at Mikan to stop her from kissing Ruka for the play, and Hotaru is seen assisting him by switching off the lights, signaling an end to the show. The kid to whom Natsume is attached (and whose apple was stolen) is watching him with confusion and Natsume stares at his hand so there’s no confusion who interfered with the play.

In the manga, he throws some nondescript box thing (I never got exactly what it was so feel free to tell me if you do know), but the apple is much more dramatic. The play is Snow White, and the apple is what causes the princess to fall unconscious. It’s a symbol tied to evil, and depending on how much analysis we want to go into for just the folktale by itself, it is also tied to apples being related to the knowledge of good and evil, sowing seeds of discord, etc. Natsume throws an apple at Mikan to stop the kiss, because the story and the play is not as important to him. What caused the princess to fall unconscious is what could potentially--in play universe--keep her unconscious, because if she doesn’t get the kiss, she doesn’t wake up. But in a more Natsumikan sense, the apple sows potential seeds of discord between Natsume and Ruka. After all, after the play, Ruka knows who interfered. He knows why. He’s visibly upset about it, more sad than anything, and in the next episode there’s even more tension between Natsume and Ruka over Mikan.

The episode ends with Natsume still being jealous and Mikan and Ruka being embarrassed about what almost happened. However, Mikan and Ruka make up and decide to forget about it, and the kid takes Natsume’s hand and pulls him over to his friends. The episode concludes with them all being friends, even if there are undiscussed tensions bubbling between them all. Aww, how cute. The anime does a good job of making the love triangle seem equally balanced.

Summary

In this section, we only covered two episodes, though they were pretty interesting to discuss (also I can only put ten images in a post, I'm sorry). In these two eps, a new element is added to the story, the tension and jealousy between Natsume and Ruka, who both like the same girl and have trouble communicating with each other about it. When it comes to the anime, this tension will become very important in the next episode.

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[jamielea81]

Conversations

Chapter 11

Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Angst. A few curse words. 

Word Count: 6,113 

A/N: I know nothing about the lives of the Evans family and mean no harm. This is purely fiction and for fun. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! The tag list is now closed. Each chapter tends to get reblogged from me a few times, so if you’re following me, you can’t miss it.  

*Italics are internal thoughts

Catch up with with Chapter 10

**

You weren’t trying to be immature about the situation you found yourself in. No, not at all. Taking a minute or several hours for yourself was normal. You needed to think about this from the point of view of someone who knew what she was doing. Was that you? Absolutely not.

Firing off a text to your brother to tell him you’d call him later, you groaned and then plopped yourself face down in your bed.

Sleep is good. I just need more sleep.

Somehow you managed to doze off for a little more than an hour but with that brought no further clarity.

Food. I need to eat. It’ll help.

After grabbing the cartoon of eggs from your refrigerator, you mindlessly found a bowl and a pan without even having to think about it. Your mind was too busy on something else, well, someone else. It was a good thing you weren’t using knives this morning. Afternoon? What time was it anyway? Not that it mattered.

Once the scrambled eggs were cooked just about to your satisfactory, you added shredded cheese. Lots of it.

Why the hell not?

With your stomach full, you cleaned your dishes, showered, and changed into a pair of cutoffs and a t-shirt. You applied a layer of moisturizer and decided to let your hair dry naturally. Flicking on the switch for the ceiling fan on the lanai, you made your way out there, sitting on the cushioned couch, curling one leg under you.

You needed to talk to Chris and hear him out. He wanted to explain and you were going to let him, although it was pretty obvious that you weren’t the only one he was seeing. You were just the dummy who didn’t know that.

You clicked on his contact and listened to the ring tone go on and on with no answer. You clicked the end call button rather than leaving a message.

Must be busy.

Deciding to get the phone call with your brother over with, you click on his contact. It’s no surprise to you when he answers on the first ring.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, Heath, I’m fine. It is what it is,” you replied trying to sound as casual as possible.

“I thought you guys were seeing each other.”

You should have kept your mouth shut, but during a long phone call a couple of weeks ago you let it slip that you and Chris had been seeing each other.

“We are, we’re just not exclusive. Apparently,” you added.

“You didn’t know?! Do you want me to kick his ass? I could probably take him.”

You erupt with laughter at his offer. Heath isn’t small, but you’re not so sure he could take on Chris.

“Thank you for the offer,” you said between laughs. “We never had the “what are we?” talk, so it is what it is. Of course, seeing it in print in front of my face isn’t very fun.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. The offer still stands, you just say the word.”

“I appreciate it. But it looks like he’s trying to call me, so I’m going to take it. I love you and will call you next week.”

“Okay, sis, I’ll talk to you later.”

You take a breath and click the answer button.

“Hi.” It comes out softer than you like.

“Hey, I’m sorry I missed your call. It’s been a day.”

“It’s fine.” You’re not giving him anything you decide.

“So, I wanted to talk to you about some pictures that got posted online from last night.”

“Yeah, I saw them,” you interrupt.

You hear him let out a big puff of air before swearing under his breath.

“Sweetheart, listen to me, it’s not what you think,” he said strongly.

“Chris, it’s fine. We aren’t serious. You’re allowed to see other people,” you said with conviction. The truth was you were crumbling inside. Your fingernails dug into your skin as you tried to keep calm.

“Wait, no. That’s not. Y/N, that’s not what was happening,” he tried to reason.

“I just have to know one thing. Was there really a meeting about a movie or did you really just not want to see me? Maybe better plans came along?”

Well, there went your “I’m strong and you seeing other people is cool” attitude.

“Of course, there was a meeting. I wouldn’t lie to you. Just listen to me, please,” he begged.

“I’m listening.” Your tone was impatient but you honestly were struggling to keep it together.

“I got the part and it starts filming right before Christmas. I called a couple of friends in the city, Scott was there for a bit too, and we all went out to celebrate. Unfortunately, and trust me, I’m regretting it, I drank way too much.”

“You know, it’s funny,” you couldn’t help but interrupt. “You called some friends to celebrate, but you didn’t call me to share the news. I mean, I know you have a lot of friends, but you’ve called me one of your closest friends recently. And we did fuck, but I digress.”

Yep, you have lost it.

“Jesus Y/N. I fucked up, okay? I know I did and I’m sorry. You are one of my closest friends. I knew you were flying home last night and I didn’t want to call you later because I was already plastered. I should’ve sent a text knowing you’d get it when you landed. I’m a dumbass. Ask my mother, she’ll agree.”

You let out a frustrated sigh. He had you on the not calling you when he was drunk thing, but that was beside the point.

“Fine,” you answered.

“Fine, you’re calling my mother?”

“Of course, not,” you said while rolling your eyes. “You are a dumbass. I agree with you on that.”

“And that girl wasn’t anything.”

“Nice of you to appreciate the female species.”

Not that you were a fan of the chick, but “wasn’t anything” was a little harsh.

“That’s not what I mean,” he groaned. “You’re a little frustrating, you know?”

“Me?! Christopher! Maybe we need to have this talk another day,” you snapped.

“No! Please. Please just let me explain. I’m sorry.”

You took a shaky breath. The holding it together was out of the question now as a couple of tears escaped and rolled down your cheeks.

“Explain,” you whispered.

“Baby,” he soothed. “That woman was hanging out with a buddy of mine for most of the night, so she was just with us. At one point she sat on my lap and I didn’t kick her off. I’m an idiot and I was drunk. But nothing happened between us. I swear,” he reassured.

You believed him, but it didn’t matter. Clearly this relationship was going to be too hard to pursue. The distance served you no advantage.

“I believe you,” you said sullenly. “Would you,” you took a breath, and licked at your dry lips. “Would you have told me about her if there weren’t pictures online?”

You weren’t sure if that was a fair question but you wanted to know. He was silent for a long while. You only knew he was still on the line by the sounds of him breathing.

“Probably not,” he replied.

It hurt your heart, fair or not.

“Okay then.”

“Y/N, nothing happened, so I wouldn’t normally tell you. It happens quite a lot, I won’t lie to you about that. Women tend to hang around if they get the chance. Some grab me. It’s not something I want to happen, it just does.”

“It’s fine. I get it. It’s just that I normally don’t date guys that have women throwing themselves at them.” You heard him lightly chuckle. “But, listen.” You took a breath to center yourself again, wiping at the tears quickly. “I don’t think this is going to work out. We’re just better off friends. I think it will be easy to slip back into that again.”

“No. No. No. Listen, sweetheart. I care about you and I want to keep moving forward. Please don’t let this one night get in the way of what we have.”

“It’s more than the one night. This is tough, the distance and not seeing you thing. It’s like we start moving forward but then plans get canceled and we are stuck where we were. You just said you’re going to start filming before Christmas and I’m sure you have other responsibilities before then.”

“I don’t want this. What about what I want?” he asked. “I’m not ready to give us up. Please, let me prove it to you,” he asked.

“Chris, I need time. You’re still my friend, but I need time,” you said softly.

“Okay,” he sighed. “But I’m still going to call you. And text you. I’ll give you time, but I still need you in my life, Y/N.”

“I need you too.” You took another breath. “I’m going to let you go though. Laundry awaits and all that.”

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll call you later.”

“How about in a few days?” you asked.

“A few days?” he sighed.

“Yeah, I just. I just need some time for me.”

“I understand, anything you need sweetheart.”

“Bye Chris.”

Ending the call, you went back into your house to cry. No use in having your neighbors hear you bawling your eyes out. Back to your bed you went. Good thinking about not wearing makeup today, it would have been ruined.

You were relieved that he didn’t hookup with the girl from the picture, but it still hurt how easily he accepted her on his lap. Wasn’t like she was a friend of his and he was just being nice. You also didn’t like how low his hand was on her body. Yes, he wasn’t officially yours, but you felt something for him and you know he feels the same about you.

I’m making the right decision.

Life was easier when Chris Evans was no more than your friend. Easier, but it wasn’t better.

**

You spent Sunday cleaning your house, painting your nails, giving yourself a facial, and digging out clothes from the back of your closet that you hadn’t worn in sometime. It was me day to the fullest, right down to the medium pizza you consumed between lunch and dinner.

It wasn’t any later than six at night when your doorbell rang. People rarely stopped by unannounced, so it was a tad odd. When it rang for a second time, you got up from your comfy spot on the couch to unlock the door. Whoever rang was no longer there, but sitting on your stoop was a box of what appeared to be flowers. Bringing the box into the house, you set it on your kitchen island, grabbed the scissors from the drawer. Inside was a beautiful bouquet of yellow tulips. You pulled a clear glass vase from the cupboard above the stove and filled it with water. Arranging the flowers in the vase, you couldn’t help the smile on your lips. You left the flowers on the island as they matched some of the yellow you had in there and you could still see them from your living room. Reaching back into the box, you pulled out the small white envelope, removing the tiny card from it.

I’m not giving up on us.

-        Chris

Back in November, you had mentioned to Chris that your mom always had tulips planted along the walkway up to the house and that they were always your favorite. The trouble was you only visited in winter most years, so you never got to see them anymore. It was a conversation you had regarding Christmas and how you were visiting home. It was such a minor thing to mention in the grand scheme of things of your relationship, but he remembered. For all the flowers Ethan brought you, never once did he ask what your favorite kind was. It’s not that important, but Chris remembering pulled at your heart a bit.

You went back to your spot on your couch, pulling the gray colored throw around your bare legs. The news was on, but you weren’t really paying attention, it was essentially background noise at this point. The thought of thanking Chris for the flowers crossed your mind. It’s the polite thing to do, but you wanted to stick to the me time that you told him you wanted. It had only been a day. Yeah, you were going to wait.

World News Tonight with David Muir started and you were one hundred percent paying attention now. David Muir was your celebrity crush, well, besides he who shall not be named. David was not only handsome, but he was intelligent, seemed sweet, and overall a good person. Landing an interview with him would be a dream come true. In general, you were a news junkie through and through, even if David wasn’t the anchor.

Despite not leaving the house all day, you were tired and decided to go bed early. Well, early for you since it was only ten o’clock. With an old episode of Friends playing on your TV, you dozed off only to be awakened by your cell phone ringing. You hoped it was Scott but worried it was Chris. Hitting the mute button on your remote, you grabbed your phone seeing a goofy selfie of Scott on your screen.

“I was trying to sleep,” you answered.

“This early? Are you ill? Zach’s a doctor, want me to put him on the line?”

“No, he’s not.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But he does watch a lot of doctor dramas,” he replied.

“Funny,” you responded sarcastically. You hadn’t called Scott at all since your phone call with Chris. There was no need to drag him into whatever the hell was going on between you and his brother. It wasn’t right and you would never put him in that position. “So, what’s up?” you asked.

“My brother is a dumbass,” he said flatly.

Guess he’s putting himself in this situation.

“Look, I’m not disagreeing with you, but do you really want to talk about this? I thought you once told me you weren’t going to get involved when it came to him and I.”

“When it’s slapped in my face by pictures getting posted online, it becomes my problem too. Plus, I was there that night, not the whole night, but I was there when it began. All I’m going to say about it is he’s a dumbass and I am sorry. While women do tend to hang on him, he should have been in control enough to ask her to vacate his lap.” You giggled at his use of vacate. “And least not forget you guys are together and you don’t do that kind of thing when you have a partner.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. We weren’t together. There was never talk of anything being official. But everything else I agree with,” you said.

“Hold up. You two were very much together. I’m sorry, but my brother does not call a girl daily if they aren’t in a relationship.”

“Scott,” you sighed. “I don’t want to get into this. It doesn’t matter anymore. The distance thing is just too complicated. I’m not in the industry. I’m not from New England. I don’t fit. Friendship is enough.”

“Do you really believe that? I’ll drop it, I swear, but is that really what you want?”

You didn’t know what you really wanted anymore. Okay, that’s a lie. You want it to be easy. You cleared your throat causing Scott to chuckle.

“And just so you know, I told him he’s getting a kick to the ass. If not by me, by my mother.”

“Your mom knows?!”

“Ma knows everything and she’s not happy. I’m pretty sure her words were “I can’t believe he was stupid enough to do that to Sassy” or something similar.”

“Oh boy,” you replied.

“But none of that matters, I really called for another reason. You’re going to meet Zach!”

“What? Really? Don’t tease me,” you exclaimed.

“I’m serious. He’s real and you’re meeting him this weekend. We are flying out Friday. We’re getting a rental, so you don’t need to pick us up, but we’re staying with you. Surprise!”

“Scott,” you sighed. “You don’t need to come out here to make me feel better.”

“Who said it’s to make you feel better. We have a free weekend and Zach wants to go to Magic Kingdom. You’re just a place to stay,” he stated.

“You’re an asshole,” you chuckled.

“You love me.”

“I do,” you groaned. “What time will I see you Friday?”

“I know you work, so we’ll come by after five. We’re treating you to dinner since you’re hosting us.”

“Love that you come up with all these plans without consulting me,” you chuckled.

“And Saturday we’re all going to the park.”

“You do realize it’s still one hundred degrees out, right?”

“We’ll take breaks. It’s fine,” he replied.

He was lucky you loved him, or was it the other way around? You weren’t quite so sure anymore.

“Okay, fine. I’ll do it for Zach. But I’m going to bed, so leave me be.”

“Night Sassy.”

“Night Grumpy.”

You unmuted the TV, set your phone down on the night stand only to pick it right back up.

Before you could change your mind, you sent a text to Chris.

Y/N: Thank you for the beautiful tulips. Have a great Monday.

It was simple enough and it let him know you weren’t planning on calling him tomorrow.

Chris: I meant what I said in the card. Have a good day at work sweetheart.

**

You scheduled a last-minute dinner with Jana and Brooks late Monday night. It’s not that you felt the need to talk about your relationship with Chris, you just didn’t want either of them to eventually see the pictures or have Scott spill the beans to Brooks. And if your going to break down in public, who better to break down in front of than your friends.

You were honestly fine up until the point Jana frowned and reached across the table to grasp your hand. That’s when the waterworks happened. Most of it was due to embarrassment.

“I just feel so silly thinking that this would have worked out,” you said between tears. “I know I played it cool to you guys, but a really big part of me thought maybe, just maybe it could have been real.”

Like yourself, Jana was an empathetic crier when it came to the ones she loved. Tears breached her eyes as she attempted to blink them away, whiled she held your hand in hers.

“Why can’t it be really?” Brooks asked.

The two of you shot Brooks a dumbfounded look. Instantly he lifted his hands in surrender.

“All I’m saying is this doesn’t mean it can’t eventually work out. Maybe it’s just not the right time. But who’s to say a month from now or six months from now the two of you won’t align,” he said.

“Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” Jana asked with a shocked expression on her face.

You gave him a watery smile. It was a nice thought to think of, but you weren’t so sure.

**

By Wednesday, you were missing your daily calls with Chris. Over the last month he had called or Facetimed you every day. Even the days that got away from him, he would call you just to say goodnight. Technically, the three days you had asked for had passed, so you could call him. It was such a strange feeling to be nervous to talk to the person you felt close to, but that’s exactly how you felt.

I’ll just text him. Yep, texting is safe.

Snuggled up in bed, you chewed on your lip and contemplated what to text.

“Hey Chris, how’s it going?”

Nope.

“Had any ladies on your lap lately?”

Definitely not.

“Do you miss me?”

You couldn’t go there.

You sat up, criss crossing your legs.

Y/N: How are you?

Turning on Nextflix, you queued up Friends, continuing where you left off. The episode where Ross dressed up as the Holiday Armadillo always made you laugh. Unfortunately, nothing could distract you from starring at your phone. You weren’t left in your misery for long as Chris responded only a few minutes later.

Chris: Hi Sweetheart. I’m so glad you texted me.

Chris: I’m doing okay, but I’m really missing you.

Fuuuuuuccccckkkk.

“You are going to stay strong. Chris is your friend. Friends miss each other, right? You miss Scott. You use to miss Chris when you were nothing more than friends.”

Y/N: I miss talking to you.

Chris: Do you want to call me?

Of course, you did. But you just couldn’t, at least not yet.

Y/N: Tomorrow?

You didn’t think you could do it tonight. Putting it off until tomorrow felt safer.

Chris: That sounds good. 9 work for you?

Y/N: Yeah, that’s fine. I’m going to watch some Friends and then crash.

Chris: Night sweetheart

Y/N: Night babe.

Tomorrow would be hard, but eventually it would feel like normal or at least you hoped it would.

**

It’s funny how tomorrow comes a lot sooner than it seems. It never comes quick when you’re really looking forward to something. No, those are the days that drag on forever. But the days that your worried or anxious, those show up in a blink of an eye.

It was nine and you weren’t sure if you were supposed to call him or if he was supposed to call you. You should have clarified. So now you stare blankly at your phone with a cold beer in your other hand. Yes, you had to work tomorrow, but what’s one beer, especially if it helped?

Hitting the home button on your phone again, it was now nine eighteen.

I should just call him.

With your finger hovering over his contact, the phone rang in your hand. Unlike Scott, you didn’t have a picture of Chris. You were too worried that you’d forget your phone somewhere one day and someone find it, they would have Chris’ number. Maybe a far-fetched concern, but it did cross your mind.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” he sighed. “I wasn’t sure who was calling who.”

You chuckled lightly. “I actually had the same thought.”

“What are you up to?”

“Just hanging on the lanai. Not so bad out at night,” you said.

“Still pretty hot?”

“Oh yeah. Need to wait until December for it to cool down.”

This was awkward. You felt like you were really trying to make a conversation happen.

“Why does this seem so hard?” you asked honestly.

Chris lightly chuckled and took a deep breath. “Cause this isn’t us and it’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

“Chris, it’s fine. It might just take sometime for us to get back to the way were. I’m willing to try if you are.”

“You mean, try to make us work?”

It was your turn to sigh.

“We already talked about that. I just don’t think it’s going to work, Chris,” you replied.

“That’s negotiable,” he said. Before you could disagree, he spoke again. “But I’m willing to table it for now.”

“You’re so stubborn,” you said.

“You are.”

You shook your head.

“Did you know your brother invited himself to stay at my place?”

“That sounds like Scott. He did mention it.”

“Yeah…”

Damn this is hard.

“It should be fun. But, um, I’m actually going to finish cleaning so I’ll talk to you later,” you said.

“Oh! Okay. Um, can I call you tomorrow?”

“Well, Scott will be here and I just kind of want to concentrate on that. Next week?” It was very noncommittal, but you were being honest about wanting to just hangout with Scott and Zach.

“Ye-Yeah. Whatever works. I’ll talk to you later sweetheart.”

“Okay. Goodnight Chris.”

It would get easier.

**

You were rushing having left work a little later than you would have liked. Scott had sent you a text at quarter to five saying they were on their way to your house having already stopped at the liquor store because he still didn’t trust your wine selection.

Sigh.

The plan was to be home and have time to freshen up before they got there. At this rate, they may actually beat you to your house.

An unknown SUV pulled into your driveway just as your turned down your street.

Damnit.

Pulling up along side the gray 4x4, you parked and quickly hopped out of your car, running around to the driver’s side. Scott quickly got out of the car, closing the door behind him.

“You’re here!” you cheered, rushing into his arms.

“I’m here! I mean, we’re here!” he corrected, pulling away as Zach walked up to the two of you.

“Sassy, this is Zach. Zach this is my Sassy,” he stated.

You extended your hand to shake his, but he quickly brushed it away, wrapping his arms around you instead.

“No, ma’am. We’re huggers,” Zach said as you hugged him back, not stopping the giggle that escaped your lips when he hugged you tighter.

“Well it’s nice to meet you,” you said when he let go of you. “Hate to say it, but I think Zach gives better hugs.”

Scott rolled his eyes, moving to the rear of the vehicle and pulling out two small rolling suitcases. “I won’t argue with that.”

“Alright, so you two are in my room this weekend,” you said, unlocking your front door.

“I’m sorry, what? We can’t take your room Y/N,” Scott said.

“Well, my second room only has a twin-size mattress since I have that monster of a desk in there and it doesn’t make sense to have one of you on the couch and one in the spare room. I just changed all the bedding this morning so it’s all made up for you both.” Scott gave you pouty lips but you just shook your head. “I insist.”

“Thank you, Y/N, that’s very kind of you,” Zach said.

Scott grabbed Zach’s hand, dragging him into your bedroom to drop their bags.

**

After dinner that Scott did indeed treat you to, the three of you spread out in your living room. The boys lazily lounged on the couch while your legs hung over the side of the cushioned arm chair. The glass of red in your hand was doing nothing to help energize you.

“What time are we going tomorrow?” you asked.

“Mind if we leave here by nine?” Scott asked.

“That works. Do you have a plan to concur tomorrow?”

“All three mountains?” Zach suggested.

“Doable since we Fastpassed two of them,” you agreed.

“Soooo,” Scott started. “I’m not trying to kill our food coma, but are you really okay?”

Damnit.

You’re not sure how you thought you’d escape talking about Chris with his brother sitting in your living room.

You shrugged your shoulders and took a long drink from your glass to delay the conversation a little further. “I’m okay. It wasn’t great to have our plans change last weekend. And then to see those photos of him out, drunk, and some woman hanging on him also didn’t make me feel great. But I can’t even be mad about that because we weren’t exclusive.” Scott opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. “And before you jump in, Chris and I never discussed what exactly we were.”

“Fine. Fine,” Scott said causing Zach to push on his shoulder. “I just don’t understand why your going back to just being friends.”

You gulped down the rest of your wine while sliding your feet back on the floor. “Anybody else?” you asked, pointing at your empty glass. Zach held his up and you nodded. Scott did the same waving his free hand around annoyed with your lack of an answer.

“All I’m saying is that dating anybody in the industry can be difficult. Shit happens and it isn’t fun a lot of the time. But if you care about someone and you feel like it could go the long haul, sometimes the heartache is worth it in the end. I’ll leave it at that.”

You walked back in the room, filling Zach’s glass, then Scott’s. Setting the empty bottle on the coffee table, you dropped one knee on the couch and wrapped your arms around Scott. “Thank you,” you mumbled against his head.

He returned the hug before blowing out a big puff of air. You pulled back and gave him a questioning look. “Your hair was sticking to my face. And you’re welcome.”

**

The three of you ran around the park like kids Saturday morning. You lingered in gift shops to soak up the cool air before running back out into the sauna. Dole Whip and ice cream ended up being lunch because the three of you were too hot to eat an actual meal.

On your way out, Scott made a pit stop in a shop on Main Street.

“Go next door. I’m buying you a surprise and I don’t want you to see it until I have it.” Scott said, shooing you away.

You pouted like a child but moved on to the next section of the store to look at pins. The bulletin board in your office was nearly full, but you hadn’t bought a new one in quite a while.

Twenty minutes later, Scott and Zach found you, all three of you with bags in hand.

“Let’s go outside,” Scott said.

“Then, I’ll see my gift?” you perked up.

“Of course, but only if you’re good,” he chuckled.

Once outside the shop, the three of you stood on the sidewalk, against the window to be out of the way of passing crowds. Scott reached in the bag and pulled out the classic Mickey Mouse Club ears and plopped them on his head. He pulled another pair out and handed them to you. You smiled politely at the gift, but thought it was a little odd.

“Thank you, Scott. I have a bunch of the ear headbands, but didn’t have the original hat.”

“Turn it around silly,” he stated blankly, tilting his head to the side.

You turned the hat so that the back was facing you. Scrolled across the back in pink stitched lettering was the name Sassy. Your face split into a huge grin as you rushed him, throwing your arms around his neck with the hat and bag dangling in your hand.

“This is perfect. I love it so much!”

“You haven’t seen the best part,” Scott mumbled into your hair.

Letting your arms fall away you waited for him to continue. Scott turned around showing you the back of his hat. Scrolled across in gold stitch was the name Grumpy.

“Oh, my goodness!” you squealed, Zach laughing at your reaction.

“It’s perfect, right?” Zach asked.

“So perfect.”

“Alright, let’s get a picture of you two,” Zach said, walking out into the middle of Main Street dodging strollers and other adults.

You and Scott followed him, finding a spot facing the castle in the distance. You posed with your arm going around his back and him doing the same to you. Bright smiles on both of your faces. Then the two of you turned around so that your nicknames were on display for the camera. You took a few pictures of Zach and Scott before the three of you headed out of the park. Scott posting the picture of the back of your hats on Instagram as soon as you got to the car.

**

It was late afternoon and the three of you were lounging in your pool. Zach and you were laying on two floaties while Scott sat on the edge of the pool with his legs in the water. He had been on his phone for the better part of an hour. His face looked a little peeved and if you had to guess, he was angry texting.

Lizzo’s Good as Hell started on your portable speakers, you instantly clapping your hands. “Turn it up, please,” you hollered to Scott, since your phone was lying right next to him.

He did as requested and went right back to his phone, typing at a feverish pace before sighing dramatically and setting his phone next to yours.

“Woo child, tired of the bullshit. Go on dust your shoulders off, keep it moving. Yes Lord, tryna get some new shit. In there, swimwear, going to the pool shit,” you and Zach sang.

“You know what we need? Shots. Be right back,” Scott said abruptly, pulling his legs from the pool and going into the house.

You looked to Zach who shrugged his shoulders and gave you a smile.

“I do my hair toss, check my nails. Baby how you feelin'? Feeling good as hell. Hair toss, check my nails. Baby how you feelin'? Feeling good as hell,” you sang.

**

Both you and Zach were well past tipsy since Scott began feeding you shots four hours ago. In between that time, you had ordered a couple of pizzas and breadsticks which helped soak up some of the alcohol, but carbs could only do so much with all that liquor running through your body.

“Boston! When are you coming?” Scott asked.

“Um, October?” you asked.

“Yes!” Zach said.

“I want to do all the touristy stuff, so you need to tell me where to stay. I don’t know the area, obviously,” you replied.

“Um, no way. You are staying with me. I want you to plus my ma would kill me if I had you staying at a hotel.” Scott shouted a little too loudly.

“Plus, we kind of invited ourselves here this weekend. We’d love to host you.” Zach added.

You nodded your head in agreement. “But will you play tourist with me? I want to see everything. Cheers! We have to go to the Cheers bar!”

They both chuckled at your enthusiasm. “We’ll go to Cheers.” Zach agreed.

Before you could make any other plans, your doorbell rang.

“Did we order more food?” you asked the boys. They both shook their heads while Scott hopped to his feet. “We should order more food,” your drunken head stated.

The doorbell rang again reminding you that someone was there waiting for you to answer. You started to walk to the door, Scott hot on your trail.

“I had nothing to do with this and I’m sorry,” Scott spit out.

You gave him a questioning look as you turned the knob on the door.

On the other side stood Chris with a large duffle hanging around his shoulder and a small smile on his face. You turned back to Scott who looked pissed, starring down his brother. You turned back to Chris who dropped his eyes back to you.

“Chris,” you whispered out. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m your pool boy,” he chuckled. “I wanted to see you.”

You stood there with your mouth hanging open.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Uh, sure,” you said, opening the door wider for him to pass.

Chris stepped in, walking toward the living room, getting a small shove from Scott as he passed.

“Hey, Zach,” Chris shouted.

“What the fuck?” you asked, still standing at the door.

“I told him not to come. I’m sorry. I kind of hoped he wouldn’t actually go through with it. He sent me a text after he was already at the airport. I swear I didn’t know,” Scott said.

“No,” you shook your head. “No, it’s fine. I’m just going to need more alcohol.”

“On it,” Scott said, walking toward your kitchen.

“You can do this. Chris is your friend…who you just happened to have sex with. Twice. No big deal,” you said to yourself.

Walking into the kitchen, Scott passed you the shot glass which you quickly downed, him doing the same with his own. You held up a finger, silently asking for another which he quickly poured. You downed that one just as quick. Scott put an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close.

“You gonna be okay?” he asked.

“I hope so,” you replied.

The two of you walked into the living room, Zach and Chris were in the midst of a conversation, stopping only to look at the two of you.

“Have fun sleeping on the couch,” Scott chucked.

Chris’ mouth dropped open, looking from Scott then to you.

“Sorry,” you said with a shrug.

**

Chapter 12

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[voidcat]

Intrusion

– 3: level 5 of friendship (wc: 1.8k)

prev ; next ; m.list

a/n: a filler-ish type of character. according to my ao3 a/n i kinda felt out of this chapter by the time i sat down to write so yea,,, + the text copy pasted from ao3 again so bolds and italics may be gone.

>[Hey I’ll go to the café a little earlier and sit around for a while. I’ll send you the address and you can meet me there.]

>[btw they don’t only serve pastry so if u r hungry after practice, you can eat there.]

>[k bye see ya]

You were up hours before you received a message from Iwaizumi. A simple “Good Morning.” blinking at you from the corner of your eye. Sending a short reply, you went back to your book. The house completely silent, save for your creaking footsteps; your parents have already left, typical as always.

It was odd for you to be up before your alarm. You brush the possibilities off, trying not think too much about it. The air feels nice and the chirping of birds isn’t exactly distracting, I might as well do some reading. That is how you decided to begin your day, pushing all your thoughts aside and entering a brand new world.

The heavy silence starting to weight on you after a while, you change your clothes, send these texts to Iwaizumi and head out.

Finding a good spot to sit by the window side, in case Iwaizumi cannot find the place, you order a drink as you pick your book up where you left off. You must’ve dozed off because you don’t realize him until he sits down.

“Hey.”

“Oh, hi. Glad you could make it.” It’s weird to see him without the school uniform now. The tshirt looks like he changed into it after practice. The jacket hanging from his seat and the bag by his side, both carrying the trademark colors for Aoba Johsai sports clubs indicating your assumption further. His face seems redder than usual, he must’ve left a short while ago.

You stare at one another for a moment. “So, how was practice?”

“As usual. We tried switching positions and had some 2-against-2 matches a little.”

“Ah, that… sounds good? I think. No, maybe a bit intense too? I’m not sure.” Shaking your head as you speak, you can hear him chuckle, probably at you.

“How about your morning?”

“As usual.”

“So you do wake up before noon on weekends, huh.” You can’t help but smile at that.

“Except for that part, then.” You look up to find him smiling at you warmly. This only makes your smile bigger.

One of the staff approaches your table and drops a single menu between the two of you. When will cafes stop assuming two people of the opposite sex as a couple and bring only one menu?..

Iwaizumi makes a gesture, signaling you to take a look and choose first.

“You go ahead, I have some inside information on their products.” You say with a smile as if you really are sharing a top secret. What’s up with the never ending smiles today? It couldn’t possibly be because of meeting with him, right? No way. And yet, the smiles appear before your face all natural, feeling familiar; so you let it keep happening. Change once in a while never killed anybody.

Eyes wandering around, examining each furniture, each plant, the expressions people wear; trying to distinct the source of each smell, guessing what it is, you wait for Iwaizumi to choose. The air is calm, no one is too loud and you can hear relaxing songs playing through the speakers. I hope the harmony of this place isn’t disturbed during the rush hours, you can’t help but think.

Getting tired of the pastel ambiance after a while, you divert your gaze back to Iwaizumi. Only to see a frustrated face staring at the menu he’s holding. He almost looks like it insulted him or better yet, attacked him. Your hand reaches to it before you can realize. You lower the menu a little.

“Need help?” He almost looks embarrassed to nod does it any way.

“Yeah, I’m torn between Americano and filter coffee… But what exactly is the difference between the two?” The excitement inside you hard to conceal, your hands jump into the air, digits spread wide.

“Oh, oh! I know this!” The look Iwaizumi gives you makes you stop. He seems… at ease. He has one of these small smiles you’ve witnessed before. There’s also a hint of something in his eyes, a gleam is there sure and a little bit of playfulness, but also something else you can’t put your finger on. Whatever it is, it suits him and you’d like to see him like this more often. You shake your head at your last thought.

“No, don’t give me that look. I only know about types of coffee because one of my friends is a caffeine addict.” And so you start to talk about different types of coffee, milk and espresso ratios, all in detail.

Five minutes into speedtalking about coffee and you give up at the look of defeat you are met with. “Just order Americano, you seem the type any way.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” You ignore the question.

A minute of waiting and awkward stare passes, then another minute of ordering is added to the pile. Iwaizumi, following your advice and ordering Americano, you asking for chai latte and the ‘cake of the day’. You two fall back into silence.

No conversation starters coming into mind, your eyes keep wandering around. Stealing glances at him once in a while, only for the both of you to make eye contact and immediately diverting your gazes, the unsettling silence starts to take its toll.

“I… I need to use the restroom.” You dash out before he can say anything, hoping the door you saw earlier does lead to the restroom. Splashing water to your face to calm your nerves, why would my nerves even be not calm in the first place??, you slowly head out and pray to whatever force out there that your orders have arrived.

You’re either lucky or you’ve used up your daily dose of luck because your prayers seem to be answered. The steam coming from your beverages is numbing and the cake looks heavenly to you. Light cream between the layers and on top, surrounded with fresh fruits and some jam spilled over the plate to make a twirling shape for a good presentation…

There are two sets of cutlery.

Because bringing a single menu was not enough and they just had to bring two sets of cutlery, still assuming you’re a couple. Not to worry, it’s not worth losing your cool over. You take a deep breath and sit as you breathe down, a not so genuine smile plastered on your face.

“So, how is the coffee?”

“Good. I suppose you were right about ‘my type’” he does air quotes as he speaks. Another smile breaks free of your mask.

“If it’s any consolation, I usually prefer coffee without sweeteners, so it is a little my type too.” A knowing nod at that.

“And the cake?..”

“Well, it looks good. You can try if you want, they did bring another fork anyway.” He doesn’t too eager at that. Cutting a part of the cake and putting it to one side of the plate, you shrug and start eating.

An easy flow of conversation comes after.

It starts with something that catches your eye in the street, starting to look through the window and creating fun little scenarios, the air around you gets warmer.

Excitingly pointing at a cat passing by, Iwaizumi learns how fond of cats you are, even so that you have one at home.

Inspecting the trees nearby and trying to guess what species, you find out he has an eye for it. He knows most of the trees and flowers out there.

He asks you your favorite genre to play on piano and in return you ask him his preferred sports drink. It goes like this. Beverages already drunk, cake long eaten, you two get lost in small things and what-nots.

The sun at the top, shining through and drowning the world under its golden light, everything seems to be at peace. Not a single customer around talking too loud, or maybe they do but you’re too out of it to notice… The temperature just right, your thoughts at bay, all harmless. Almost as if it’s a regular weekend day-out, the way it feels so familiar.

Feeling relaxed and loosened up, ready to doze off to sleep at any given moment, you slowly find yourself getting lost in pale green eyes, and vice versa.

Whatever unseen force that was holding the entire place, including you, in a calm trance, falls apart at the sudden sound of an unwelcome beep.

Both of you reaching out to your phones, you see a notification alert

Staring at your screen for a while, a sincere smile blooms on your face, giddy with excitement and happy, you feel unstoppable at that very moment.

“Good news I hope. Care to share?” Iwaizumi’s words reach your ears a few seconds too late. Still holding your phone with both hands grinning like an idiot now, you shake your head a little.

“You need to reach level 5 of friendship with me to access this story, sorry.” You can see him laughing lightly at the back of his hand.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh nothing. It’s just… I expected at least a level 10.” It’s your turn to laugh now, and so it seems.

“You’ve listened to me playing the piano. That gives you a 5 level headstart already.”

“You’re really that secretive about that?” All that joy from a moment ago has died down and replaced with confusion. You avoid his eyes and focus on a spot near him again, just like the first time.

“Secretive is not the best choice of words. More like… insecure? I guess, I’m not sure.”

“Well, that’s just dumb.”

“I- What? Excuse me?!”

“I’ve said what I said. You already play well and only a fool wouldn’t notice the way you give your all as you play. There is no logical reason for you to be insecure about that.”

“Yes but- you see…” Words die out at your throat, hand hanging in the air.

Another thing you learn about Iwaizumi Hajime right then and there. He is honest and as harsh as truth can be.

You wonder if he is like that all the time, if he is as open when it comes to himself. Or does he hide behind a façade like the rest of the world.

Noticing how tense you are getting, Iwaizumi ends your misery at last, asking about the book you were reading and you two fall back into another quiet chatter of everything and nothing until you  call it a day.

[troop-scoop]

Mistakes & Regrets XV

Summary: When a trip to your Dad’s hometown of Hawkins goes wrong, you end up in the year 1983, and have to learn how to cope with being stuck in the past.

Pairing: Steve Harrington / Future!Reader (like, a really slow burn)

Warnings: Swearing, implied homophobia, Steve being emotionally hurt :( 

• • •

There was always a certain smell to Halloween, that being of fake blood, cheaply made costumes that smelled like the warehouse they’d been stored in, as well as the smell of candy that lingered in your pillowcase until your dad insisted you wash it.

You always loved the smell of Halloween, the cheap plastic props of toy swords and wands, the cheap fairy wings made of wire that were covered in an elastic looking chiffon with glitter glue patterns. 

The cheap grease paints that stank up the entire house the year that Daniel went as a clown, and your pa went as a plague doctor, not liking how pale his eyelids were underneath the mask, so he painted his eyelids with grease face paint like it was eyeshadow. 

There was a very specific smell to Halloween, and a certain feeling you always got leading up to it, even when you were getting older. But in the past year, it felt like you’d matured more than you should have. 

It was because you’d been forced into this situation by your own stupidity. Living on your own by age fifteen in a time period you’d only seen in movies. Using the 300 dollars you idiotically always carried with you because you didn’t have a bank account yet, as your only thing to live off of. 

Halloween wasn’t the same, and you doubted it ever would be. Nothing would ever be the same. Holidays were never a happy time for you, friendships were hard to develop, and you couldn’t be normal with Nancy or Jonathan, or any of Will’s friends because they knew when you were from. Thankfully the boys were told to be quiet by the government about that part. And silently, you were thankful you never told them that Will was your father.

Romantic relationships seemed completely out of the question to you now. The awkwardness of still being considered new hadn’t worn off, and nothing about the idea of dating a boy in Hawkins in the 1980s felt right. 

The only normal relationship you had was your friendship with Steve. You had friends at school before, but never once had you been this close with one before. You usually hung out with him or Jonathan, and everything about it flowed like a friendship should. You’d gotten into a few arguments like friends usually do, the most notable being the year before when Will was still gone and you punched him. 

You didn’t regret it. He deserved it, but every once in awhile, you’ll feel the ache in your fist again. It had been a pretty impressive blow for someone whose last fight was in second grade with a boy who had called your fathers a few slurs to your face. 

You dealt with those people plenty of times. The schools you went to always having kids from two different neighborhoods. One was normal, and felt like a community. But then there was the one with the heavy right-winged parents who taught their children to be cruel.

You left a bowl of candy on the porch for the kids who came by. Not wanting to be overwhelmed by the sight that would just remind you too much of home and have you crying outside Hopper’s cabin with Eleven carefully peaking out the window in a few hours. It was the only safe space you could go to feel close to anyone when you were breaking down, other than the fully reclined passenger seat of Steve’s car after you bombed a math quiz.

But there was a very big difference between the two breakdowns. One being superficial, and that you could recover from, something stupid that you knew wouldn’t matter in a year. But the other, was caused by the biggest life changing moment in your life, whose repercussions you were still facing in the form of anxiety and ‘ptsd’ according to Owens. 

The steam surrounded you while you held your knees to your bare chest, tears mixing with shower water while the scenery around you refused to pass. This episode captured how you remembered the Upside Down perfectly. Every night or day you’d spent there being so dark you could barely see two yards in front of you, the air around you cold but the water hot and practically burning your skin. 

But you heard the front door open, and you opened your eyes, seeing the bathroom go back to normal. The ugly yellow tile back, while your tears shifted from being out of tear to relief. 

Grabbing onto the edge of the tub you pushed yourself onto your feet, acting like it hadn’t happened by calmly washing out the suds from your hair that had grown far longer than it had been in September of 83.’ 

Turning off the faucet you stepped out and grabbed the grey towel from the hook, wrapping it around your body and taking the safety pin from the counter and used it to keep your towel from falling. Opening the bathroom door, steam pooled out from the doorway.

Looking over to the living room, where you saw Steve sitting on the couch, head in his hands and his back rising and falling in such a way that it was hard not to notice that he was holding back tears. 

“Steve?” You questioned. He looked up and then quickly averted his gaze when he saw you in the towel. 

“Jesus, I’m so sorry.” He blurted out. 

But you noticed how his eyes seemed red, and not from lack of sleep or alcohol. It looked like he’d been crying. His hair disheveled, no doubt from running his hands through it 

You took strides over to him and sat practically hip to hip with him, not caring if you were soaking wet or in just a towel. “What happened?” 

He shook his head a bit, looking to the carpet, running his dominant hand through his hair while he tried to process what to tell you. He finally looked up at you. “Have you ever loved someone before?”

“Other than my parents? No.” You answered. 

“It’s intense. it’s . . . it’s really scary sometimes to be vulnerable in front of the person who you think also loves you, because they say it,” He was sad, angry and didn’t know what to do. “I. . .” He started to tear up and in a heartbeat you had your arms around him. “She. . . Nancy doesn’t love me.” Steve’s voice broke halfway through his sentence, trying to hide the fact that he was on the brink of tears.

“What’d she say?” It was like your own problems were completely miniscule to Steve’s. But that was a more recent coping mechanism, where you avoided your own problems in favor of helping somebody else.

“She called me bullshit. Said we were pretending everything was fine, that we were pretending to be in love, that me and her were pretending we didn’t kill Barb.” 

At that you tensed up. The thought that Nancy blamed Steve for Barbara’s death, made you angry. It wasn’t either of their faults for not being there when Nancy had apparently told Barbara to go home.

“You’re not bullshit, and what happened to Barb wasn’t your fault. Shit happens, people die. No one knew that was gonna happen to her.”

You weren’t looking directly at Steve, but you could tell he was breaking down, head on your shoulder, and body exhausted, leaning into you for comfort that you gave him without question. “You can cry, Steve.” It was a simple sentence, but it carried a lot for Steve, who had never once been told that by anyone. Usually being shamed with the phrase ‘real men or boys don’t cry.’ And he let go, holding onto you and letting the tears go down his cheeks while you ran a comforting hair through his hair, smoothing down his hair so the strands rested like they usually did. 

You’d never experienced the kind of heartbreak he was going through, you’d experienced the kind where you had ended up completely alone and scared in a scary place, with the added layer of knowing you’d never see your parents again as a teenager. 

But his was worse. He found love, he grew to love Nancy. And they’d been together a year, which alone was impressive, since teenagers couldn’t even seem to keep a job for more than three months. 

He couldn’t have ever anticipated that she’d be cruel, call him ‘bullshit’ and blame him for what happened to her friend. 

But you knew according to movies, tv shows and books, that eventually, you wouldn’t have your family anymore. That at some point, you’d be alive, and your parents gone, But you just never anticipated it to happen this way. So maybe you were on the same level of heartbreak, just two different types. 

“I know,” You comforted softly his quiet tears made your own tears build up, but you forced them away, opting to let this be about him, and what he was going through. “You’re not bullshit.” You told him. 

• • •

Flinching away from the cotton ball that the nurse held up to your cheek, you glared at the middle aged woman. Mrs. Luna was always meaner that Mrs. Kenna who always greeted students with a warm smile and actually did care about them and if they were okay. 

Mrs. Luna let out a harsh breath through her nose out of frustration, deciding to turn her attention over to the boy who sat by the counter, a poster of the food pyramid over his head had you wishing it was a real pyramid that would fall on him. 

“Annalise, are Y/n’s parents coming to get her?” Mrs. Luna demanded of the secretary who was in the front office, the door connecting the two rooms open so the women could interact. 

“Will Byers should be here soon to pick her up.” The main secretary informed while standing at the printer, which you could see through the doorway where you sat by the Nurse’s desk. 

You weren’t afraid of anything as a child, heights always seemed like fun, and while you didn’t like spiders, you weren’t afraid of them. You weren’t afraid at the thought of getting hurt, and this entire situation proved that, since you’d been the one to technically start the fight, by throwing the first punch. But at least you, a second grade girl had beat a fifth grader in a fight. He was more bloody than you, and clearly in more pain, even though he tried to hide it. 

Turning your head to the side you looked to the health posters garnered towards kids, things about eyesight and bones in a cartoon style so it fit the elementary school. 

“Mr. Byers. . .” You heard the secretary greet your dad. “And Mrs. Cortez.” The dread filled you when you realized that Joseph’s mother was here. She was the type of mother who everyone on campus was scared of because it seemed she didn’t tolerate any other child other than her own.

“So it was your child who hurt my son?”

You heard your dad give a spiteful chuckle. “Get a grip, Janet.” He spoke the woman’s name with venom as he approached the nurse’s office, still in the sweatpants and t-shirt he’d worn when he dropped you and your brother off that morning.

Giving a nervous smile to him when he came into the linoleum floored room, he gave you a look mixed with disappointment and something else. “Hi, dad.” You said in the happiest voice which had Mrs. Cortez scowling at you when she walked in after your dad, approaching her son. 

He kneeled down in front of you, examining your face, hands gently holding your jaw to keep you in place. “Guess I should see the other guy huh, baby?” 

You laughed, even if it hurt your cheek where the scrape was that Mrs. Luna had tried cleaning. 

“You encourage that behavior?” Mrs. Cortez asked harshly, arms crossed and when you let your eyes wander over to her, you noticed how there wasn’t a single wrinkle in her pantsuit, and how the clothing she wore made her even more intimidating to you.

“None of your business.” Your dad shot back, grabbing your hand and helping you out of the plastic blue chair. The two parents never liked each other. Mrs. Cortez didn’t like your parents because they were gay, and your parents hated her because she was rude, and didn’t understand where boundaries were. 

“Can you call Ms. Perez? I’m signing my son out too.” 

You had to listen to the bickering between your dad and the woman, while you and Joseph glared at each other until Daniel got to the front office, confused and holding the book he’d basically been forced to check out from the school library. Your dad had checked you both out, and gotten you into the car before driving home.

The rest of the day was mostly quiet, with Daniel doing the simple worksheets at the dining table with you, while you worked on your times tables, using the laminated paper that Pa had made for you. 

Your dad  made you both lunch, which was just leftover spaghetti that Pa had made. Sure, Will was the one who worked from home, and helped make Halloween costumes, and drew things with you at the coffee table while reruns of Ed, Edd, and Eddy played, but Tom was the better cook, and better at helping with homework.

“Hey Danny, can you give your sister and I a few minutes?” Will asked, picking up the plates from the kitchen table, looking over to Daniel who nodded and got up, happily going to his room where his action figures were. 

You looked up at him, holding the scented marker in hand, coloring in the certain sections of the coloring page with every answer you got. 

Will placed the plates in the sink and walked over to the table, sitting next to you, an arm resting on the top of the back of the chair, right behind your head. 

“What did he do?”

You stayed quiet, continuing to color in the flower, going a little bit out of the lines, still not having the best of hand/eye coordination. 

“What did he say?” Will rephrased the sentence. 

“He called you and Papa fags and fairies.” You answered quietly, keeping your eyes on the paper until Will reached over, taking the pink marker from you and capping it.

“You know how everyone says you’re like me?” 

Nodding you answered. “Yeah.”

He nodded a bit with a smile. “You are a lot like me, but you’re also like your pa. I’ve seen him punch one of his college professors for saying the same things about us before.”

You smiled up at him a bit, and saw his smile grow a bit. “Listen to me, sweetheart, you never, and I mean never, let anybody push you around. I let people push me around all throughout school, I was nothing like Pa, so I’m glad you are, even I get calls to come pick you up at 10 am, and even if you get suspended for a week. I think it’s stupid for them to expect you not to do anything. Never be afraid of getting in trouble if what you’re about to do is the right thing.”

• • •

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[joonyverse]

residency troubles - kim namjoon (bts)

Summary: You were a resident in her 3rd year at a prestigious hospital, who happened to be the daughter of the director of said hospital, and had a little bit dark past. Professor Kim was a neurosurgeon, who came to the States, but decided to come back, and work for the hospital you were at. And then one occurrence lead to another.

Warning: abusive parent figure, family problems, violence, minor character’s death, childhood trauma, infidelity, light smut scene (not reader’s), grammar mistakes, incorrect medical terms, failing english

word count: 10.8K

kim namjoon x f! readers

doctor!au

Sound of ECG being the only sound that you could register, amidst the layers of yells being thrown at you, or your surrounding. The rapid sound the machine made, indicating how the person on the bed was unstable. Having been pushed aside, you could only watch, not knowing what to do anymore. You saw the doctor giving the patient CPR, sweats running down his face, as he fight for the life that literally depending on his hand. You could only wish miracle upon the sky. 

But then, just like how the sky granted your wishes, the ECG sound was back to normal. Heart rate continue to beat stable, and gradually getting steady. The doctor stepped aside, before he wipes the precipitation on his face, from the energy he spent trying to save a life. He glare into your way. His glare was cold. Shivers running down your spine. It’s like a bucket of cold water had been poured over you. You gulped down, and quietly follow him into a space where no patients were in vicinity.

This was the calm before the storm.

“Are you even a doctor?” He asked. His voice was cold and distant. It feels like the alcohol swab that you use before getting pricked by a needle.

You looked down, only able to stare at your feet. You knew it was your fault. Your fault here could be someone else’s life being endangered. And you should have known better. It’s not like it was your first year. And you acted like a complete intern.

“I’m sorry doc, it won’t happen again” you said.

“Yeah, because when you did it again, a patient would die!” He yelled the last part at your face. You flinched a little bit at the sudden raise of voice.

“I’m sorry doc” you said, your voice sounds even more inaudible if it was even possible.

“God y.n, you’re fucking clumsy! How could you even get into residency? I wonder… Daddy’s money?” He said in a belittling voice.

You gulped down. You want to fight back, but you can’t. His aura was way too overbearing and powerful for you to beat.

“You can’t do a single thing right! Nothing! You keep making rookie mistakes!” He yelled. “That patient, he was allergic to your prescription, and he could have DIED! But no, you ignore the chart, and act like a know it all!” He yelled once again. And you took it like a big girl, holding your tears in. Was it because of the yell? Or was it because you almost cost someone’s life? You didn’t know anymore.

“Fix it, another one rookie mistake, and you are over” he reprimanded before he left you alone with your thoughts.

You solemnly walk towards the office room, sitting on your reserved desk. You lean back into the back of the arm chair. You let out a sigh, feeling like a heavy burden in your chest was lifted. You quickly wiped your tears that threatened to fall. You shook your head.

“That was stupid mistake” you mumble to yourself. “You were an idiot pretending to be a know it all” you continued,

Your train of thoughts were being cut off as the sound of door opening filling the room. You looked towards the source of disturbance, seeing your friend who was in a no better shape walking in. Just like you, she plopped onto her armchair, energy drained from her soul.

She rolled her armchair towards yours. She put her hand into her scrubs pocket as she fished for something. She pulled out a banana milk and handed it towards you. You take it with a grumble, signing that you indeed need some sugar right now, 

“God, you’re still here?” Jiwoo asked as she take a sip of her strawberry milk.

You nodded with a pout on your face as you took a sip of the banana milk Jiwoo so kindly gave. “Professor Park needs me to do some errand last night so I couldn’t go home, and then when I knew it, it’s already morning! And then there plenty of emergency cases I need to handle, and then… Doctor Yoo yelled at me” you said. Your voice was solemn. Your eyes were looking down. Exhaustion was evident in your demeanour alone.

“Is it because of Minwoo? The seven year old kid?” Jiwoo asked to which you responded with a nod.

Jiwoo suddenly bend down to look at your face better. “God, I was damn tired, and then I see your face and I immediately feel better” she said.

You looked up, you gave her a cheeky smile. “Why? Because I’m a doctor and I’m pretty?” You said as you put your palm into a flower pose.

Jiwoo scrunched her nose. “No, because it looks so apparent you just got dragged into hell and your eyebags are competing with pandas’” she said. “Just go home y.n, it’s not even healthy anymore” she added.

“I can’t, I’m going to assist Professor Park’s surgery, and maybe after that, I’ll be able to go home” you said, your frown became more apparent.

Jiwoo got up from her seat before she gave you a pat on your head. “Good luck, and I better not see you here after my surgery is over!” She said.

“Whose surgery are you assisting?” You asked before she walked out.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Professor Lee’s.”

Sound of ECG once again rang through your ears. It’s drumming inside your very being to the point you swore you can hear it in your silence mind. The tension was high inside this operation room. Your heart was drumming inside your chest.

“Suction” Professor Park asked, You quietly handed him the suction.

You prayed to all Gods above that this too shall be saved. He deserves another life. You knew that better than anyone here. Well maybe, other than Professor Park himself. God, he was just seven year old, there’s so many things he needs to see, he needs to be, and you want to save him more than anything else.

“Professor, he’s losing a lot of blood, he’s unstable” the anaesthesiologist said.

You can see Professor Park’s brows furrowed, as he was getting even more focused if that was even possible. You saw him getting even more frustrated but he keep composed.

Suddenly the heart rate picks up. Your head snapped towards the ECG, like an instinct. “Professor-“

“I know, y.n, I know” he cut you off. You can feel his frustration and desperation in his voice. You grew antsy and anxious. And yet you held it in. You might get kicked out if you show signs of such things and that’d be the least thing you want.

You can see that the anaesthesiologist getting even more anxious. And that really didn’t help you calm down in any way. You knew this was bad. When the professor did all the right thing, but the patient keeps being unstable, you knew this was bad. You knew Professor Park done all the best he could, and yet you knew the boy wasn’t going to make it. In fact, everyone in the room knew that. But everyone, gave their best till the very end. 

Until the sound of flat line hit your ear drums.

You grew motionless. 

But Professor Park wasn’t one to give up. He kept trying to revive the kid. Wanting to give him the last chance he could get.

But the universe wants him back. They love him more. 

And so you watch as the kid lay there on his death bed, motionless, no heart activity. Everyone in the room hung their heads low. Everyone tried their best, but fate says it’s time for him to go. 

It’s the thought that the kid was so young. So fragile. So small in this big world. So many for him to explore… and they took that away from him.

“Time of death, 12th of May 2020, 10:25” Professor Park announced.

The operation room was solemn. And you quietly close him up. You move your emotion aside, as you carefully close him up, not wanting him to hurting despite his inability to feel.

As soon as you were out of the room, you were walking like a corpse, too many thoughts went pass your head. And yet you can’t think of a specific one. You should have gotten used to patients’ death, and yet you don’t. Every each one still hits you hard. Watching someone’s life depended on you and yet they still losing grasp, it’s always hurts, it’s always feel you’ve failed them each time, despite you knowing that there’s nothing you can do.

You walk back towards your office. Your head hung low. Tears were brimming in your eyes. Your chest was heavy and painful. The kid deserves so much more. And it hits you like brick. You don’t even want to imagine how the mother must be feeling if you were feeling this way. Memories of how you played around with him, laugh with him, giving him encouragements and comforts, as he went through his time in the hospital, flashes by you. You wiped the tears that had fallen down as you continue to made your way back into your office to pack and clocked out.

You entered the passcode into your digital lock, your emotion and energy were as drained as ever. You sighed as you entered your apartment. You threw your bag carelessly as you walked into your kitchen. You reached for a glass to pour yourself some water. The water did somewhat its work on soothing your heart that was in agony. But you were tired. You want nothing but to sobs into your pillow.

You looked into the couch in the living room. Your boyfriend’s shirt was there, and you for a moment wonder. The weather was cold and your boyfriend… felt hot?

Suspicion immediately filling your head. You brace yourself for whatever behind the door of your shared bedroom. You brace yourself for another heartbreak.

And then you heard it,

“Seokjin, please don’t stop- ah- fuck, please don’t stop!” A girl, who certainly wasn’t you cried out.

You were beyond mortified. Your eyes widened. You were disgusted beyond anything as you very well know what’s going on behind the door.

You opened the door roughly, it bang to the frame. You saw them, on your bed. Your Bed. Your boyfriend on top of her, having his balls deep into her. You were hurt, betrayed, but most of all, you were livid. You were furious above all.

But both of them wasn’t any better. They both looked at you, flustered, that you caught them red handed. You scoffed at the sight.

“I should have expected that” you said. Your voice was rather calm. But anyone who heard that, and see how you shook on your ground, knows that this was the calm before the storm.

You saw your boyfriend moved to reach out to you. The girl beneath him whimpered as he moved. You immediately feel waves of disgusts all over your body, drowning you in it.

“Just fucking finished your thing, and pack your things after that” you said before you step out of the room, not bothering to even close the door.

Seokjin finally pulled out and stepped onto the floor, racing towards you.

He grabbed a hold of your hand that you roughly tossed. 

“You are filthy, so please don’t touch me” you said, your voice who usually full of warmness for him, now cold and full of venom.

Seokjin knew he messed up. He never sees you like this, but then again there was a first for everything. You were usually cheerful, bubbly, your voice held such warmth that makes anyone that come across you wants to be by you all the time, no doubt. 

“Please listen-“

“Listen to what Kim Seokjin? I saw it all! You were spared on the need to explain!” You yelled. Your composure was failing and you don’t have the intention to keep it.

He stayed silent, he knew there was nothing to explain, when you saw it all. And you knew that too.

“Just fucking go okay? Spare me from the pain, I’ve had enough for today, and it’s barely midday! I already have a poor kid died on me only to go home to see my boyfriend fucking his other lover, so please just go” you said as you took a seat on your couch. Your arms were over your eyes, you wanted nothing but to cry… and cry even more.

Seokjin was concerned above all. He was your friend at some point. He knew how hard you took patients’ death, and he clearly was the cherry on top.

He slowly made his way back to fix his mess before them both leave you alone, in your misery  and tears.

A month had passed since then. Everything moved so fast when you focused solely on work and nothing else. Jiwoo would call you a horse for working day and night, not letting anything getting in your way. You keep shoving your nose up the job, working like a robot would do, that even Professor Park teased you for being one.

Your days would be fill of helping Professor Park handling the patients. Giving commands to the fellow residents that was below your year. Running from one hall to another. Death was almost become something numbing to you. Almost.

And yet everyday, people around you keep reminding you that you were human first before anything else. You worked hard, wanting to be recognised for your hard work and your hard work only. You forgot to have fun, Jiwoo said.

It’s not easy. To be the daughter of the director of the hospital itself. Everyone think that you are able to get your place because of your connection. Because daddy is paying everyone’s pay-check. And so you worked hard everyday, trying to prove yourself, that you deserving of your place there.

How can people accuse you of such things when your dad was trying so hard to forget about you when it comes down to family…

Jiwoo would stop you everyday from working yourself over the limit. So does Professor Park. They would both stopped you from taking everyone’s shift, from staying at the hospital any longer than you’re supposed to.

But it’s hard to convince you when you’re so set on something.

It was lunch time. Both you and Jiwoo use it to quickly get some lunch before any calls can get to you both. Especially when the cafeteria is serving your favourite curry that day. Jiwoo would secretly convince the chefs there to just make curry everyday so you would leave your work and eat more enthusiastically, but of course she wasn’t able to convince them.

You were enjoying the curry to your heart content. It’s the littlest thing like this that reminds you that you were indeed human above all, as dramatic as it sounds. Jiwoo watched you with amusement.

“I tried so hard to be a good friend, and you still choose curry over me” Jiwoo said in fake annoyance. She playfully stab the potato in anger.

You swallowed your food with a smile on your face, as you looked up at her. “Curry heals my heart Jiwoo, this is not just any curry, this is magical curry” you said In a teasing manner which caused Jiwoo to scoffed.

And then suddenly Jiwoo sat straighter, fixing her posture. Her eyes widening. Seeming more tense than before. You slowed your eating pace in confusion. Your eyes scanning your surrounding, which seemingly collectively has their focus on one point.

You turned your head towards said point. Your eyes squinting, your brain going into even more confusion than before. You even scratch your eyes repeatedly to make sure that your eyes aren’t playing you, and yet the sight still was as shocking as ever.

Your ever, so arrogant, and what the workers would say, intimidating, father was there. In the cafeteria. That you swore he would swear he would never touch, not even the ground. You almost throw your curry at him if it was possible.

There was a man beside him. A handsome and young looking one. He was tall, his brown hair slicked back. He looked as clean as ever. A glasses sitting on top of his nose bridge. He looks smart, brilliant even. Well he must be, seeing him walking side by side with the director of the prestigious hospital. To sum it up, he was the finest man you’ve ever seen to walk in this hospital, he was a sight to see for sore eyes.

But you quickly shook the thought out of your head. You quickly turning back towards your food. As you see from your peripheral view that everyone around you, including Jiwoo stood from their seat to give them a bow before they sat back down. And suddenly the cafeteria was somewhat quieter than before. You hated it.

“What an asshole” you muttered under your breathe. You then felt a kick on your foot. You looked up towards Jiwoo who was still standing, and now her eyes are spatting curses at you.

“What?” You mouthed in annoyance.

“Stand up” Jiwoo mouthed back before she kicked your foot once again. You rolled your eyes and give in to her request.

You turned around. You saw that your father and the man beside him… and whoever walked along with them have their focus on you. You suspected that it was because your father was staring at you, wanting the respect he deemed to be deserving. You sighed and gave them a half hearted bow before you sat back down and continue to eat your food. You felt bad because you didn’t mean to be rude to anyone but your father.

That was until suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder, that stopped you from eating. The cold but yet so familiar touch on your shoulder. You sighed and turned your head towards the intruder of your meal.

“This is y.n, my daughter, she is a resident here, she worked for Professor Park, your friend right?” Your father said, smile was on his face. But you know so well this was the smile he uses on someone he’s trying to impresses.

“Ah yes, he is my friend… Jimin” The handsome young man said with a smile. His voice was so deep, you swore you could drawn in it.

“Y.n, this is Professor Kim, a neurosurgeon from the States! He’ll be working with us, greet him” Your father said with a smile ever so radiant, you almost puke. 

You faked a smile back at him, playing your good daughter card on. Jiwoo looked at the both of you nervously.

“Nice to meet you, I’m y.n, a resident in the general surgery department” you introduced yourself, with a smile more genuine at Professor Kim.

Your father patted your shoulder again. “Right, good, about our dinner later tonight, y.n, I hope you’ll be able to make it” your father said to the both of you. “You have no shift tonight, right y.n?” you father asked.

“No sir, y.n is free for tonight” Jiwoo cut in before you were able to say a word out of your mouth, “I’ll make sure she’ll make it on time” she added.

You mentally slapped your forehead. And god you thought you couldn’t loathe the situation any further.

“Right, thank you Jiwoo” your father said to Jiwoo before he walked away.

You threw your spoon lightly on the table once they’re out of sight. You sighed in full annoyance now. “Why would you do that?!” You whisper-yelled at Jiwoo.

Jiwoo gave you a cheeky smile in return. You really wish you could get angry at her really. “So miss y.l.n here won’t work herself to death, and able to dine in with the most handsome and smartest man ever to walk in this earth” Jiwoo said, her smile was faking innocence.

You gasped, feeling scandalous, feeling like Jiwoo had just seen you naked, seen through you. “Jiwoo!” You gasped.

“What? It’s true! I can swear upon my life you were ogling the professor! Undressing him straight with your eyes!” She said between laughter, as she accused you.

You whined at her. “Oh come on! I was not okay!” You said, threatening to throw your spoon towards her head.

“Oh come on! My girl deserves to have some fun and love too!” Jiwoo teased. And then she suddenly lean in and looked you straight in the eyes. “Especially with the neurosurgeon professor that’s known for being so smart, is popular at the States, handsome, deep voice, and your father trying to impress” she said, her voice was loud enough only to be heard by you.

Your eyes widened, it’s almost like you got possessed and suddenly the picture of the professor being said infiltrated your mind. Him standing there, looking so fine, with his smile and dimples. But before your thought can get any further, a loud voice cut you off from your training thought. 

“You guys are seemingly having fun! Without me! I don’t like it!” Jimin said, shocking both you and Jiwoo, before he sat down beside you.

“Professor, y.n here is going to go out on a date!” Jiwoo said before laughter making its way once again to her.

“A date?!” Jimin shrieked. “My god, finally you blessed this desert with some water to survive from! Y.n is going on a date!” He said.

You now physically slapped your forehead. You can see some people gave your table a stare for a second before going back to eat again.

“How can it be a date when, one, I just met him today, and two, the dinner has my father in the variable” you grumbled before you roughly stabbed a potato and fed it into your mouth.

“Wait… does it mean… it’s Namjoon?!” Jimin once again, leaning closer towards you. Your eyes widened once again. Who now?

“Professor Kim! Kim Namjoon!” Jimin said, after seeing the confusion in your face. You shrieked at the name, almost jumped in to cover his mouth. You don’t want another rumour surrounding you. Now you remember that Professor Kim had mentioned Jimin as his friend before.

“Oh my god, y.n, I swear he’s nice! And he’s single… well as far as I know, but I can totally introduce you to him!” Jimin said with so much enthusiasm, people would think he’s the one that’s going to be introduced to someone.

“You know what? I’m done eating lunch, Jiwoo, Jimin, you can chat, but I’m going now” You said in a flustered state, causing Jiwoo to teased you even further. 

The clock shows 5pm. Everyone around you is hurrying you to go home, put some makeup on, and clean up. It was mostly Jiwoo who urged you to do so, she even go as the length of promising to drive you there and back. Jimin even told you to clock out as soon as you can. You swore you would rather spent more time in the operating room then go through the dinner. You whined in protest, but what can you do when it’s you versus everyone?

And so there you were, finding yourself rummaging through your wardrobe that you’ve been so long abandoned ever since you start pulling lots of night shift. That you don’t bother to touch ever since you opted to watch Netflix at home is more fun than going out for some fun Friday nights. 

You ended up choosing a formal white dress. It fits prettily on you and just right, accentuate your features so nicely. You chose a baby pink Saint Laurent purse to go with it, knowing it looks cute and beside, you haven’t use it in forever. A pair of black rockstud caged pump from Valentino completing your outfit of the night. You applied some light makeup too. You had to admit that it was somewhat a personal satisfactory and pleasure to clean up like this, something that you haven’t done in so long.

As soon as you stepped out of your room into the living room, Jiwoo who was waiting there had her eyes on you, mouth agape. You rubbed your sides instinctually, feeling somewhat self-conscious.

“Does it looks weird? God it’s been so long since I did this, I maybe forgot my touch-“

“Cut the nonsense! You look as stunning as ever!” Jiwoo said as she approached you. You gave her a thankful smile.

“You know how much I hate going to a dinner, god, I’m only doing this for you” you said to her as you both walked towards her car that was parked in the basement.

“Girl, you’re going to thank me once you start getting some” Jiwoo said, a teasing smile on her face.

~~~

A car ride later, you found yourself standing by the entrance of this fancy Italian restaurant. You gulped down, wanting to turn back and secretly catch a cab and go back home. It’s not that you are nervous, you just hate to be in the same room as your father. Let alone eat on the same table.

You just hoped nothing will gone awry. And that means you have to control your emotion, keep it at the bay.

The last time you ate with your father, it was… horrible to say the least. You ended the night with your blood pressure as high as ever, food shattered on the ground, his wife crying and begging for you both to stop, your half-brother is smirking at the situation.

With a reassuring sigh, you braved yourself and enter the restaurant, bracing anything that might come at you,

You gave your name to the waitress, before being escort to the private section of the restaurant. She carefully and delicately open the ebony wood door, revealing the occupants inside. You saw a table for five, there sat your father, his wife, or rather, your stepmother, and your half-brother

Your father sat at the centre of the table. His wife sat on his right, her son sitting beside her. You saw that the seat beside you was still empty. The seat was probably for Professor Kim you figured.. Not long before you enter the room, Professor Kim arrived following suit, seemingly a little bit out of breath.

You tapped on his shoulder, making him look at you. You smiled at him, chuckling inside at his seemingly in-hurry state. “Are you okay?” You asked him softly.

Professor Kim took a big gasp of air before answering you. “Yep, all fine” he said with a smile, his dimples appeared once again, as deep as ever.

You both entered the room. And you saw how your father’s smile lit up once again. You almost rolled your eyes at the situation. If any people see this, they would have thought that this was some ordinary family dinner. Maybe even Professor Kim thought so. But your so called family know that this all business matter.

The waitress took your order as soon as you and Professor Kim sat down. You ordered a truffle cream pasta for yourself, meanwhile he ordered an Aglio Olio for him, both of you opting for some ice tea for the beverage.

Your father cut into the steak that had been served before him as he arrived sooner than both of you. The professor beside you cut the silence by apologising, “I’m sorry, I’m a little bit late, I had a patient that need to be look out for in urgent” he said.

“It’s okay, he wouldn’t mind Professor Kim” you said before your father even said a word. You can feel your father was giving you a glare as in ‘Behave’, but it’s not like you’re going to care about any of his words nor actions.

“Please, just call me Namjoon, I’m more comfortable that way” Namjoon said to everyone in the room. “I am still young after all, just a little bit older than y.n here” he said. You had to admit, it seems like he did his research beforehand, as he knew how old you were. Somewhere deep in the back of your mind, you wondered if Jimin told him some things about you.

“You are a polite kid, a smart one on top of that, and I’ve heard your activity in non-profit organisations Namjoon, you’re just a complete package aren’t your?” Your father’s wife said, a giggle followed after her words. You shook your head in silent.

“Ah… I’m not ma’am” Namjoon said, looking flustered. You can only imagine. The man was looking so red you almost felt bad. But then again, you saw his features, and you realised, the man was deserving of every compliments he got. A handsome man, with good personality? God you were somewhat hoping he’d be single. But you continue to eat your food in silence.

Your family continue to chat with Namjoon even after the table being emptied. You stayed silent, not wanting to say a word, not wanting to cause a fight, too tired of it or to do it. But you can see from under the table that Namjoon’s legs were fidgeting, like he’s trying to say something but don’t know how. And then you faintly heard it, the buzzing from his trousers’ pocket. You realised that this might be a medical call. And so you decided to save him and utter a word.

“I’m sorry father, Namjoon and I have to go back to the hospital right now” you said, standing up, not before nudging Namjoon, signalling for him to do so too. 

Your father looked towards Namjoon, his head tilted a little bit. “Is that so? You should go then, your patients are important” your father said.

And it seems like Namjoon had read the situation too. He gave your father a quick nod and bow. “I’ll get going then sir” he said, before you both headed out of the room.

As soon as you’re both out of the room, Namjoon quickly answered his call. You saw him tensed up, which meaning that it is an urgent situation, and he was probably needed as soon as possible. Before even you could even say a word, he walked in fast pace before turning into a light run towards his car, still on call.

You sighed and shook your head. At least the dinner didn’t go as bad as you thought it will. 

The next morning, you went to the office just like usual. Your outfit were so casual just like usual, in contrast to what you wore last night. Jiwoo shook her head after hearing the uneventful dinner when she drove you home. And of course as soon as you arrived in the hospital, the first thing Jimin asked you was about your dinner, to which you answered as it is. Jimin huffed in response, just like Jiwoo. 

It was one of those time where you get a room to breathe, after finishing a surgery. You were left alone in the office. You turn your head around, relieving the knots on your shoulder. You were sipping the warm coffee that you bought at the cafe downstairs when someone knock on your office before opening it. The door revealing a man that oh so familiar.

“Hey, what’s up?” You greeted with a smile that looks rather tired.

Upon seeing you, Namjoon proceed to enter the room, a relief smile on his face. “You were here!” He said, taking a seat next to you.

You chuckled at his words. “You weren’t here to see me” you said.

Namjoon lowered his head and chuckle along with you, being caught in action. “Well, I was searching for Jimin but he wasn’t here, and I found you instead” he shrugged.

“Hey! Seeing me is also a good thing okay!” You complained playfully. You made a fist and hit his side arm in a playful manner.

Namjoon pretended like you had hit him with the strength of a fighter which caused you to whine. “Come on! I didn’t hit you that hard!” You said.

“You bruised my ego!” He retaliated, which caused both of you to laugh. “Did you just finish a surgery?” He asked.

You nodded at him, a pout made its way onto your lips without you even noticing, a habit you didn’t notice you had. “I am” you said.

Namjoon stares at you, his eyes were unreadable, but honest to god, you were rather scared of trying to find out on what was his eyes were saying, and so you ignore it.

“Poor y.n, must be tiring right?” He said, in a tone that seemingly babying you. He suddenly put his hands on your shoulders and lightly massage them. You froze for a second upon feeling his palm on your shoulder, before you relax into his hold.

“What will poor father says if he saw his favourite neurosurgeon is giving a massage to a mere resident…” you said, your voice shaky from the massage.

Namjoon laughed at your words. “Oh come on! You are not just a mere resident” he said.

You gave him a smirk and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, a resident who happened to be the director of the hospital’s daughter” you added in.

Namjoon tensed, you can feel it on his hold, before he let go of you. Truth be told, you were rather disappointed that he let go, somewhere deep in the back of your mind, you were missing his warmth now that it feels somewhat cold without his touch.

“That’s not what I-“

“Namjoon? I’m just joking” you quick to assured with a smile.

Suddenly Namjoon turn his whole body at you, looking you dead serious right in your eyes, making you nervous in some way. “I mean it y.n, you are talented, Jimin told me a lot of good things about you, and I know you are a hard worker, and I’m not saying this because you are my boss’ daughter” he explained. “It’s because you care about the patients dearly, and you are a hard worker” he added.

You swore to god you teared up right there right then. For the first time in your medical career, it’s the first time anyone, beside Jimin or Jiwoo, praising you. Not because they want something from you, but they acknowledge you for who you are. You quickly shook the tears off, not wanting to be emotional. “Oh come on! This is unfair, you made me cry” you said jokingly.

“Your father must be proud of you” Namjoon said, unknowingly.

You chuckled bitterly. “I don’t expect much from him” you mutter under your breathe, hoping he wouldn’t caught it. You quickly stood from your seat, giving him a reassuring smile. “Gotta go though, Jimin is having a conference soon” you said.

Namjoon gave you a smile before he stood up too. He suddenly grabbed your hand, making you look back at him, stopping you dead on your track.

“Thank you for last night, you saved my patient”

It was another day. Just another uneventful day. Or so you thought. The yawn that you held for so long can’t help but came out of your mouth. Along with it, a drop of tear trickle down your cheek. Your eyes trained on the computer monitor before you. Your head heavy with thoughts.

The door to the office suddenly opened, making you looked up from the computer. In your head, you were groaning at the stiffness your body was experiencing. “Can I help you?” You asked to the visitor.

A familiar person walked into the room, creating a beam on your face, from ear to ear. Well to be exact, it’s more of what they brought.

“Jimin! My life saviour!” You squealed as you jumped from your seat. Jimin gave you a playful smile in return, while humming to a cheery tune. You immediately dragged your armchair onto the table that was set in the middle of the office, meant for meeting, and well, meals. Jimin took a seat at the centre of the table, while you took one beside him.

“God, it’s chinese?! You really know how to impress a woman don’t you?” You said as you grab a chopsticks and set your food in front of you, knowing that Jimin already know what your order was.

“Well, aren’t you my hardworking resident? Who unfortunately still pull an all-nighter and-“ “Stop with that! Won’t you?” You complained playfully to him. “I really restrain myself from taking night shift you know that!” You added.

“I know, but look at you, I can bet you haven’t gone home since last night” he said before he took a bite of his food.

You froze on your seat. The sense of time really had went out of your head. In your head, your hair is probably the big sign of it, looking like a whole bird nest. Your supposedly tidy pony tail, now so many strands had gone loose. “God, I didn’t know that” you sighed.

Jimin gave you a glare in responded, as in saying “How could you not know?”. His phone suddenly dinged, and so he took it from his pocket, looking at the notification. “Y.n, you don’t mind another company, do you?” Jimin suddenly asked.

You were having a bite of your food, so you really didn’t pay attention to his words. You wordlessly nodded at him, to engrossed on your food.

The door to the office once again opened. And yet you paid no attention, your hunger took over you. In your mind, you think that it’s probably Jiwoo, or well another surgeon. Another surgeon other than Jimin having a meal with you both wasn’t a new thing anyway.

“I’m sorry, I had an unscheduled appointment” A familiar deep honey-laced voice said. You stopped chewing, your eyes widened. You sat a little bit straighter, but not brave enough to look up. 

“It’s okay, you’re not late, I just have a bite of my food” Jimin said. You can see from your peripheral view that Jimin was staring at you with a teasing glare, his mouth formed a smirk. “But y.n here… she seemingly hasn’t eat since yesterday” Jimin huffed playfully.

Namjoon chuckled before he took a seat beside you. You gulped down your food, before staring at Jimin with a warning glare. “I’m so sorry you had to see me like this” you said to Namjoon who was arranging his food.

“Y.n, you’re talking like as if I don’t see you at that Italian restaurant, gulping down the food like as if you want to escape so badly” He said before he had a bite.

“Well, in a way, I kinda do actually, but don’t get me wrong, it was not because of you, like at all” You said after gulping down another bite of your food, After talking, you grabbed a bite once again. Maybe you were too focused on your food, or too focus trying to ignore the nervousness in your heart, but when Namjoon stopped to stare at you, with a fond smile on his face, you surely didn’t notice.

He almost chuckled, seeing you eat like there’s no tomorrow, like as if you stopped, someone would steal your food away from you. He looked at you with so much amusement and fondness. Your hair was everywhere, and he was a little bit worried it might bet into your mouth. He carefully reach his hand out towards you. His fingers gently reached for the loose strands that disturbing your eating and might be a little bit itchy on your face. He carefully tuck them behind your ears.

His fingertips touching your ears got you shivering down your spine. You froze on your eating, but seems like Namjoon didn’t notice that, too enticed by you. You weren’t brave enough to turn your head around. No, you weren’t. You don’t know what you should be expecting.

“Your hair was in the way” Namjoon said, his voice was gentle, almost inaudible, but loud enough for you to hear.

“T-thank you” you stuttered. In that moment, you braved yourself enough to turn your head at him. But what you saw, god you could swear your heart wasn’t prepare for it. Namjoon was smiling at you, his smile was just… something that you were more than sure was a gift from God. His dimples were evident. And truth to god, your heart was beating so fast you were sure the whole room can hear it.

Namjoon chuckled before he turn to his food once again, eating it. And everything went back to normal. By normal here you meant, Jimin and Namjoon were chatting about what they’re both missing when they were away. You silently listening in. And yet your heart was still beating loud, your head still full of the thought of him. If Jimin noticed, you were glad he said nothing.

And at one point, it seems like your name was mentioned, which was caught your attention back to the room. “I’m sorry?” You said.

“I just told Namjoon how you haven’t gone back home, and I think that you should go home now, and Namjoon will drive you home” Jimin said nonchalantly.

“Oh come on, you act like this is my first time doing this, I’ll be fine staying in the hospital a couple more hours, and beside I’m still reviewing-“ “A doctor also need lots of rest, y.n” Namjoon cut in.

“But-“

“No buts, pack your bag, you’re going home” Jimin said as he stood up. He immediately went to clean up the table, insisting on you to prepare to go home instead, which earned him a scowl from you.

The car ride to home was fill with you both getting to know each other. How you both grew up. Though you still hide so many, you just told him the enough amount of it, well maybe to the part of your father and you don’t have a really good relationship, but that was all. Namjoon told you how he grew up, how he ended up going to the States before deciding to go back here. You had a feeling that he too was hiding something, but maybe, only time will be able to tell.

“I’m so sorry for troubling you” you said when you’ve finally arrived. a frown on your face, as you felt bad for doing this to him.

“It’s okay, I don’t live far from you anyway, I’m just a building away” he said, with a smile on his face, that you grew to fond of now.

“Thank you for the ride, Namjoon” you thanked him, a smile made its way onto your face.

“I enjoy this, let’s do it another time, y.n” 

And somehow it becomes an everyday thing for you and Namjoon to go home together. Some days it’d be you driving, and some with him driving. People would have caught the sudden closeness you gain. Maybe some questioning it, but if they do, nothing has been caught by your ears so far.

It’s rather beneficial really for the both of you. Sometimes Namjoon would come over, and you both would put Netflix on and binge watch some documentaries there. Or sometimes, when things just went awful, or when you have something to celebrate, you both would go out for a drink, get drunk, and call a designated driver. Some days, you both would go on a dinner, when work got too hectic and left you both barely room for breathe. Or sometimes, you both would go to watch a movie that you both have been waiting for its release.

It was one of those days. Where things are just… hard. Nothing is going in your way. You got yelled by a doctor, and even Jimin expressed his disappointment. Jimin was someone who barely disappointed with you, knowing you more than anyone else here. And when Jimin got disappointed, it means you really did something messed up.

Not only that, a patient’s condition was worsened, her kidney was failing on her, and she was just a teenager. And so far, there wasn’t any available donor. 

You were walking through the hall when a conversation caught your attention. You can’t help but listening into their conversation. Well, how can you resist when said conversation involving your name being mentioned. It supposedly come as no surprise that people would gossiping about you, and yet, despite knowing better, continue to listen what on they have to say.

“I just don’t get what Professor Kim saw in her, like she’s just a spoiled brat!” A nurse said.

“Are they even dating?”

“No way, I bet they are close because well her father or maybe her want favour” “I bet she actually likes him, but he’s just being too nice”

And that’s it. You had enough. You shook your head in disbelief. Even after years, and your obvious showing of your dislike towards your father, everyone still think you are daddy’s little girl. All things accumulated inside you. You felt so stuffed inside. You had enough. You quickly approached the familiar office, knowing he would be there. You knocked on his door, just in case he has someone inside.

“Come in” Namjoon said from behind the door,

You carefully opened the door. You saw the sight of a woman, seemingly around you or Namjoon’s age. You were more than sure she was the most beautiful woman that you’ve ever seen in your life. Her red lipstick matching her skin tone, like as if it was made specifically for her. The pencil skirt she wore cladding on her skin so perfectly, accentuating her figure. Her aura was almost overwhelming.

“Ah… You have a patient? I’ll come back later than” you said in apologetic tone.

She was staring at you, a smirk on her face. “Oh? Namjoon really didn’t tell anyone about who am I, did he?” She said, her voice was taunting.

You said nothing, being put in an awkward situation. “I’m sorry, I’ll go out” you excused before you close the door again.

But you did not miss it.

You did not miss the last sentence she said, right before you close the door.

“Namjoon, I love you still”

~~~

God and here you thought your day couldn’t get any worse. You really now felt like you were drowning in an ocean of negativity. You don’t know why, and you don’t want to know, but you felt a pang in your heart. You felt your throat constricting. You felt something that you haven’t felt in so long it almost scared you.

You just wanted to be home as soon as possible. Maybe get some drink, and hoping Namjoon would listen to your worries, like he always did. You strut your way back to your office, not caring about your expression anymore, too tired to control it. You can feel the tears of frustration brimming in your eyes, they burn. But still you paid no mind to it.

Especially when a text came.

From [Namjoon]: Sorry, cant go home now, I’ll see you tomorrow 

And tomorrow came. If you thought it was any better, well it wasn’t. Not when your father’s secretary suddenly knocked at your door when you were preparing for breakfast. Sunghyun, your father’s secretary, was a rather nice man, and he acted as the messenger between your father and you. Sometimes you felt bad for it.

“What now, Sunghyun?” You sighed, as you see him by your door. “Come in, I made some pancakes” you said while opening your door a little bit wider for him to come.

“No need to, I’ll be quick, your father wants you to be at the Min Corporation gala. It’s well… for fundraising, but your father can’t attend it, and your brother is overseas” he said.

You sighed. If you hate your father, well you hate the galas more than anything. The free food and champagne is an advantage, but the mingling and fake smile for hours was not your cup of tea.

“You know the answer, it’s a no from me” you said before you rolled your eyes.

“And you know the answer from your father, he doesn’t take no, I’ll be going then” Sunghyun said. “And oh! Don’t forget to bring a date, I think your father wants someone in particular and you know who” he added, before he really left you standing by the door

You really don’t know how to break it to Namjoon that your father wants him to go for a gala, and with you on top of that. You can tell him that it’s a work order, but maybe somewhere deep down inside you, you want it to be something more. Beside, you don’t want him to feel obligated to attend.

But you were rather surprised, and rather pleasantly when he easily accepted it. Now, he become your only reason to feel excited about the damn gala. You can already picture the look you were going for tonight.

And with that in thought, you went to the gala with heart giddy. He promised to meet with you at the venue as he had an appointment right before it. You can’t help but let your mind wander on how he would look with a tux on. Your heart beats faster at the thought.

You stepped off your car, and everyone’s eyes are instantly at you. Your hair was set onto a bridal up-do, your off-shoulder emerald gown looking so glamour under the lights, making you look like you stepped out of fairytales, your Saint Laurent pumps accentuating your legs, and your Gucci purse completing the look.

But as minutes pass by from the assigned time, you grew anxious. You tapped on your feet. You were standing at the corner of the room, anxiously waiting for Namjoon. Your eyes keep searching for his figure, wanting nothing but to be with him. And it doesn’t help when you spot your ex, and by god you regret that, cause he caught your stare and was walking towards your way.

A vibrate on your phone making you looked down towards it. A text appeared in the notification bubble.

From [Namjoon]: I’m sorry, I think I’ll be late, Idk if I can make it, but I’ll try, I’m so sorry

You sighed. Disappointment filling your being. You now wasn’t in the mood for anything at all. You wanted nothing but to go home now, and maybe just watch another documentary like you always do.

“Lonely tonight, are we?” Seokjin, who was now standing beside you, asked.

“Shut up, get away from me” you said.

“Why are you not mingling? Are you craving for a beating from your dad?”

“I told you to shut up, didn’t I?”

Seokjin chuckled at you. “It’s a pity, you could have just joined me, and if we were still together, you might be having a good time instead of a really suck time” he said, his eyes were mocking you.

“Who said I was alone? My date is a busy doctor, someone who actually works, not just riding on daddy’s fame” you said, your tone was full of malice.

But Seokjin just smirked. He was rather entertained by your action and behaviour. He suddenly leaned in, and whispered to you. “Or maybe, Namjoon is just busy with a certain woman” he whispered. His voice indicating that he indeed knows something.

You shook your head in disbelief. You were angry. Angry at everything. Angry that you let your ex who cheated on you to get to you. Angry that you were losing your composure. Angry that Namjoon lied to you. And that was your breaking point. You didn’t care anymore. You immediately pushed Seokjin away from you harshly. 

“Fuck off, Seokjin” you said before you exited the ballroom, back towards your car.

You were just sad. Sad that just why Namjoon would lie to you, why can’t he just say it to your face that he doesn’t want to go with you. 

Your face was as emotionless as ever when you come to work the next day. You were more than ready to accept your father’s wrath. And truth be told, you just want to get it over and done with. You can’t wait to go over it, cry a little bit, and maybe then the tension inside you that’s been building will go away.

And by god, you don’t want to face Namjoon today. You avoided him all day, not at all making your way towards his hallway. If Jimin and Jiwoo noticed, they didn’t said anything. But they were rather worried. Because you haven’t said a single word to them. You weren’t letting anyone come close to you. You kept silently doing your job and anything Jimin tells you to.

And then it comes. It was rather funny really your encounter. You were walking towards your office when Sunghyun was walking to your office too. 

“Ah, y.n, I was looking for you” Sunghyun said.

You sighed. “Father wants to see me?” You asked.

Sunghyun nodded in pity, as he felt bad for you. You sighed, accepting your fate, knowing you can’t deny it. You rather face him in the office rather than letting him step onto the comfort of your own home. And so with heavy steps, you walked towards your father’s office, embracing the fact that a fiery wrath is waiting for you.

And just like what you were expecting, when you entered the room, your father was there. He was sitting behind his desk. You lowered your head, waiting for the storm to come.

He was looking at you, from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. His stare was icy cold, something that supposedly you were used at. But not when you can’t help it. Not when you are afraid, knowing very well on what’s about to come. For something that had happened ever since your childhood days. And you can only gaze at the golf club by his desk in fear.

He stood up from his seat. He wasn’t that tall, but you feel small beneath his overpowering gaze. And you feel like you were the 8 years old girl all over again, who was cowering in fear, as her toy accidentally knocked over a fine china. And there he stood, in front of you, just like the old times. You can feel the panic attack start coming over to you.

And then, just like the lightning strike, his hand came fast and hard and land onto your cheek. Your palm immediately went to the burning cheek, grasping it in pain, for sure it would turn red. And then he kicked your shin, making you buckle onto the ground, feeling smaller than you were already.

And he reached for the golf club. At this point, your tears can’t be contained any longer. It fell down onto your cheek. Sobs came out of your mouth, asking for him to stop, but he, just like always, let your words be muffled by his own anger. And just like how his hand, the golf club too now was hitting at your figure, hard, so hard the pain caused you to cry even more. And yet he has no mercy. Not until his anger dissipated.

“How. Dare. You. Ashamed. Me. In. Front. Of. Senator Kim’s. Son. And. Leave. The. Gala?!” He said, with so much anger in his voice, every words for every hit. No doubt purple bruises are now painting your body

“I’m sorry, please stop, please” you sob and pleaded.

And it feels like god answered your prayer, because he stopped. He let out a sigh like as if the tension had left him, and now you were left with so much trauma, so much memories of your childhood came back into you, as you continue to cry more into the floor.

“You really won’t get my words won’t you?” he said with so much anger despite the calm tone.

“Now get out” he said coldly, before he strut back towards his chair.

You quickly get up from the floor. Your steps were shaky as you reached for the door. But as soon as you were out of the room, you run towards your office. You can feel your chest tightening, your throat constricting, as your eyes continue to pour more tears from it.

You immediately went into the comfort of your office, closing the door rather harshly. You lean onto the door and let out gasps of breathe, not really aware of your surrounding. You grasp on your chest, trying to gather some air to breathe on.

When suddenly you felt a figure coming right onto you. Your eyes were wide open. You recognised Namjoon, looking at you, with so much concern and worry in his eyes. You let yourself breakdown, as more sobs coming out of you. Namjoon took a hold of your body as you fell onto the floor.

“You’re okay here, you’re safe” Namjoon said, trying to comfort you. He saw how you look very much disturbed. He saw the angry red print on your cheek. He saw the purple bruises that now is visible as it’s forming on your collarbone and forearm that were revealed. He may have an idea on who might had done this.

“It’s okay, you’re safe here y.n…” he comforted even more, letting you calm down in his hug. 

Minutes passed by, and you were much calmer now. And Namjoon not even a second letting go of you, and for that you were so thankful for. He held you in his arms, that now felt so secure and safe for you. It felt like with him here, you have nothing to be afraid of, that he will chase everything off.

“Thank you” you muttered. You nuzzle your cheek into his chest, not wanting to let go of him.

“I need to check your bruises” He said.

“It’ll be fine” 

“No, you’re not, talk to me” Namjoon said, his voice stern. He can’t help but feel anger building inside him, a fuming anger, towards whoever did this to you.

And you noticed that. The deep frown in his face says it all. His eyes can’t hide the unadulterated rage behind it.

“Namjoon, I’m okay, I’m fine” you said, reassuring him. Namjoon’s eyes look back at yours. You stare right onto his, wanting to assure him that all is fine now.

“You’re not y.n, you were crying, you were hurt, I swear to god whoever did this-“ You grabbed a hold of his face, you cradle his face onto your palms. “I’m okay hey, I’m here” you said, assuring him. “I’m just glad you are here with me” you said giving him a small smile, despite the lingering fear still left behind in you.

“Is it your father?” He whispered, his voice was so careful, as if he was afraid you would break.

You looked down and nodded. “But it’s okay, I’m used to it okay” you said.

And god, that was even more horror to him. No one should be used to such abusive treatment. “God y.n, that- that doesn’t make it any better” he said, his voice was so quiet, and yet you know he was having so many emotions going on inside his heart.

“I’m going to confront him about this, I’m going to beat him-“

His words were cut off. Of course it was. Maybe it was the spur of the moment, maybe it was something that you’ve been wanting to do for so long and now it finally reaching its tipping point. Maybe it was because he wouldn’t stop worrying, but you did it. You put your lips onto his, cutting him off of his word.

Namjoon was surprised. His eyes were widened, when he realised you were kissing him. Your eyes were close tightly. He held you tighter in his arms, as he reciprocate this kiss.

You both let go for oxygen need. A smile on both of your face. You felt rather shy now, and a little bit afraid. “I’m sorry” you apologised. Your eyes were still trained on your thighs, avoiding his.

Namjoon looked down at you who was till in his arms. He smiled softly, the familiar fondness come back into him as he saw your shy demeanour. A flower bloomed in his heart. “For what?” He asked, a teasing smile was now on his face.

“You know what” you muttered.

“I appreciate the apologise” he said, making you looked up at him. “But I love it, so I’m going to do it again” he said before he kissed you once again. You can’t help but smile into the kiss. Happiness and love replacing the feeling in your heart.

But then, the woman popped up into your mind, making you let go.

“W-wait” you said before you let go. “But I don’t want to be in the middle of unfinished business” you said. “Or well that’s what Seokjin hinted…” you muttered.

It seems like Namjoon caught on what you meant. And he gave you a smile… and for some reason you were scared to find out the meaning behind it. “We have nothing going on, for so long now” he said.

You tilted your head at him in confusion, needing more explanation.

“She’s my ex, we almost got engaged, and then I found out, so I break it off, and then she tried to come to me again” he explained.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a rebound” you said, your voice stern.

Namjoon pet your hair, his smile once again appeared. “Yes, I am, I wouldn’t kiss you if it was otherwise, and I chose this over any possibilities” he said,

“And… I’m sorry for not… appearing last night, I had a patient, code blue” he apologised, his voice was so sincere.

You pouted at the memory of last night, not wanting to remember it any longer. “It sucked so bad, I dressed up so well, and for nothing” you huffed. “But if you give me more kisses, maybe I’ll think about forgiving you” you said, as you pretend to think about it very seriously.

Namjoon grabbed a hold of your hand before he gave you a peck on your lips. “I’ll up your request to something better” another peck “What if I take you out on a date?” And another peck.

You beamed at him, giving him even more pecks all over his face. “Okay, tonight then, and I want to go to that new ice cream parlour” you said before you got up and went out of your office, going back to work 

The alarm on your phone rang so loud, it able to woke you up from your sweet dream. You groggily reached for your phone and turn it off. Peaceful silence once away fill your bedroom. You then went back to nuzzle into the embrace of your boyfriend. One of his arm was circling around your waist, hugging you tight to him. He softly groaned from beside you, being the victim of your loud alarm as well.

“Good morning” you greeted, a small smile on your face. “As much as I’d rather be cuddling, we have to go to work” you said.

“Why don’t we just skip work, and have the day all to ourselves?” He suggested playfully. You hit his chest as a scolding. 

“Come on, get up Professor, we need to work and tend our patients” you said as you attempted to get up.

But Namjoon had other things in mind. He pulled you back into him, trapping you between his arms, as his upper body hovering over you. He pulled you into a kiss, that you were more than happpy to reciprocate. “We will, but for now, I will have my girlfriend all to myself first” he muttered between kisses.

You smiled into the kiss. His silly words bring a smile onto your morning that usually fill with frown. “You’re lucky I love you” you said, which he hummed in respond as an agreement.

You were both all tangled up in bed, hands on each other, not wanting to leave each other behind. Jimin and Jiwoo would call you both clingy. How could you not when you both worked at the same hospital, sometimes you sleep at his and sometimes him at yours. And yet, you still both longed for each other when you’re away from each other. 

But really, there’s no place you’d rather be than in his arms, and him in yours.

a/n: AAA IM BACK, THIS ONE TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE DSJKHF i’m watching Hospital Playlist nowadays, so this was inspired by the drama hehe, I hope u guys like it ;-;;; tbh when i made this, i have the look namjoon delivered during MOTS 7 press conference aksjh. Also to anon, I know this takes so long but I’m currently writing your request! Also everyone! Pls stay at home and keep your hygiene!