#and also that it needs to be done with more deliberate care and thought

[sirfrogsworth]

I know I said going out into the world is worth the mental health boost, but I also got two vaccines and then worked in the heat cleaning out my garage for several hours and now I can't move and I haven't been able to move for several days.

I can't deny that sometimes things just need to get done. I didn't really have a choice. This is a consequence I chose and knew would occur. And I feel like I can't complain about how horrible I feel because of the deliberateness of my decision.

But I think I'm going to complain anyway because I feel like poop.

This is why the "push yourself" mentality is so dangerous to chronically ill people. Again, sometimes it cannot be helped. I haven't talked much about it yet, but I have a runway and it keeps getting shorter. And if I don't solve some very big problems before my runway ends, I could be pretty screwed. So I'm going to have to push myself on occasion and I need to try and be smart about it.

But please don't ever suggest "pushing through it" as an ongoing solution for disabled people. I've heard it so many times. There was even a time when my own father would preach from the Church of the Glorious Work Ethic™ because that is how he was raised. But it is also how he ended up with severe chronic pain and a fake hip.

Despite that, in the beginning, he would still tell me to push myself in order to accomplish things. Eventually he saw how damaging it was and how it made things worse in the long run. I was destroying my mind and body and my productivity decreased the longer I pushed myself. My recovery periods would get longer and longer and my productivity became almost nonexistent.

Conserving energy, doing a little bit at a time, and understanding how to pace myself always garnered better results. But that required patience. And patience is a skill. And for me it is a skill that I have spent two decades trying to master and I still fail more than I care to admit.

But during my first few years of being sick I had no patience. And my dad had no patience. So we were just this chaotic ball of impatience. And that was probably the only time we had trouble getting along.

"Pushing through" and ignoring pain and fatigue is the number one piece of advice that has always been catastrophic. I would encounter people with a "strong work ethic" who believed if they had my collection of chronic maladies they could just use willpower and work a proper job and live a normal life. I was just lazy in their minds. They thought accepting my circumstances and managing my symptoms was giving up. They would inform me that "everyone is tired." They would tell me how tired they are and how they still manage. And I just wish I could help them understand the most tired they have ever been is probably what I would consider a "good day."

Sometimes pushing through just puts a hole in the wall.

[rottmnt-background-screenshots]

Hey, OP! Just want to say something about the fic you boosted.

As an OSDD system who has read through the fanfic before, our perspective is:

While not the author intention, nor directly talking about it, it still unfortunately falls into hurtful/misinformed tropes relating to OSDD/DID/Systems in general. The concept of a "personality split" has connotations that are unavoidable, and can tread dangerously close towards misinformed and unfair rhetoric towards systems when not handled with proper research. With the whole story revolving around this concept, it more than just a one-off moment.

We are also not saying to harass the fic author. Nor are we saying anything about your morals for sharing it.

Just that these kinds of fics are uncomfortable for some of those who do actually deal with the "personality split" thing. Especially with how popular the concept is without many actually really having us in mind.

I appreciate the reminder! I'd like to be a safe blog for everyone here, including systems.

I'm not the one to say whether or not anyone should read it, these two anons have raised the relevant concerns better than I could.

However, anyone who does choose to read it anyone should do so while consciously acknowledging that the fic contains narratives that aren't accurate. Also, don't read something in a fic and assume it's true.

[moineauz]

જ⁀ 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 , various !

synopsis: his voice lines about you as his beloved partner

including: veritas, jing yuan, blade

side comments: dw i promise i'm working on the house of musica requests... i just wanted to do this for fun! also this is the first time I've written for jing yuan which is kinda funny. i liked writing for blade again. originally i had welt and aventurine in the mix but i wanted to post this hahaha.

extra: gn reader, angsty and fluffy moments, mentions of marriage, aventurine jumpscare later favourites: blade word count: roughly 2,085+

𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎

WHO ARE THEY? I "So you're asking about my significant other? Are you shocked that I have a significant other? At the very least consider your question."

FIRST MEETINGS? "I met Professor ( Name ) when they barged into my lecture, they said they were 'lost'. Since then we had several heated debates academically. Have I lost in these debates? Several times yes, consequently making debating with them all the more... interesting. Especially considering that Professor ( Name ) has a well-rounded vault of knowledge in most subjects of academic and social relevance. Finally, a conversation worth my time.

GREETINGS? "Professor ( Name ) considers a good greeting the highest attribute. A curt smile and a cup of coffee suffice, thankfully they know when to remain silent. However, there are instances when they will talk relentlessly. Initially, I used my headpiece around them. Nevertheless, their conversations do occasionally convey subtle insightfulness and definite meaning. Gradually I have come to share some liking towards their rather pleasant 'small talk'."

PARTINGS? "A small kiss on the cheek: be it on my skin or the headpiece, that is all. However, I... have always preferred it on the skin."

ABOUT US: ART "Outside of ( Name's ) academic career, they share a peculiar fondness for art. Be it painting or sculptures they could very well get lost in a museum. When they discovered my fondness for sculptures and anatomy, they were... oddly quiet; tracing their hands over my sculptures- or my face to be exact. ( Name's ) admiration is always shown in silence, one of the greatest forms of praise.

ABOUT US: TRUE APPEARANCES "I have questioned how ( Name ) has perceived our relationship. Considering that we are both colleagues, it can lead to speculation amongst other *sighs* inappropriate comments. Hence, I prefer to keep our relationship known only to those who need to. I believe them to be devout and... undoubtedly caring. I hope my attitude towards them conveys a similar message.

CHAT: WORK "Although we teach different subjects, we occasionally mark or review the work of our students. You may call it a 'second opinion'. Thus, their opinion is one that I trust."

CHAT: SERVICE "( Name's ) actions can initially appear simple-minded. However, underneath simplicity, lies thoughtfulness beyond comparison in both work... and at our residence.

PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "Film is not an art I deliberately take part in or seek out for leisure. However, ( Name ) was quite adamant and passionate about film. Thus, we've watched a myriad amount of films and TV shows together, both acclaimed and disdained. I have my own varying opinions. I must admit, after a long bath, a film in bed is quite soothing. Considering that ( Name ) similarly enjoys the pleasure of a bath, our nighttime routine is undoubtedly satisfying."

ARGUMENTS: "One must always think before they speak for there is a price to pay. ( Name's ) silence is decisive, deliberate and painful; burning right through your chest. Debates are loud, quarrels are bitterly silent."

SOMETHING TO SHARE: "Solitude is the greatest gift to civilization and self: introspection enlarges the expanse of the mind. However, the pursuit of knowledge is not only found in discovery and text. It is through experience alone. I have found much knowledge in solitude and an equal amount through genuine companionship. Hence, I share my deepest revere. "

WHO ARE THEY? II "My lover. That is who they are to me and all you need to know."

EXTRA: AVENTURINE'S OPINION "I met Ratio's lover when I visited for business matters. But, all that went out of the door! I saw a lovely individual by his desk and thought, 'Who is this?' Ratio never, and I mean never, allows anyone to screw his desk up. Yet, here they were, seated at the edge of his desk toying with his stupid chalk greeting me with a bright smile. We immediately hit off. I suppose Ratio does have some luck in him, but then again, ( Name ) was the one who first asked him out. Less to do with luck, and more to do with destiny. In my opinion, destiny is not something I fully believe in, however, when I watch Ratio and ( Name ), it's difficult to imagine a universe where they aren't together."

𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐔𝐀𝐍

WHO ARE THEY? I "You are looking for Commander ( Name )? Sadly they're on a business trip, however, I'd be happy to answer in their place."

FIRST MEETINGS? "( Name ) is an interesting soul. I've heard of their praised skills in combat and decisive thinking. Many assume I met them on the battlefield. Yet, I met them over a coincidental cup of tea."

GREETINGS? “I find it amusing how our everyday greetings have evolved. At first it was a salute. However, I find that a kiss on the cheek is a much more efficient way of greeting and brightening up the mundane tasks *sighs* of work.”

PARTINGS? “Why bid farewell when one hasn’t said hello? Partings have always been bitter. Yet, I find comfort in knowing that all things lead back from whence they came.”

ABOUT US: AGE “Time for long life species is fickle and plainly slow. Despite that, ( Name ) has constantly made time— less daunting and more fun. ( Name’s ) life span… is a touch shorter than that of myself. Hence, they have brought forth a new value in every passing year to which I cherish. This year I plan on doing something special for their birthday— though, don’t tell them that.”

ABOUT US: SILENCE "As much as ( Name ) glows in social settings, they equally enjoy stillness, if not more. There never is any obligation to fill the void when we're together. It is as natural of an act as breathing.

CHAT: PRODUCTIVITY "( Name ) likes to be on task. I, however, don't always find leisure in such activities. ( Name ) quote, 'holds me accountable'. Of course, there are moments in which I can distract them."

CHAT: FELINES "They are quite fond of Mimi. Unfortunately, Mimi is rather... aggressive when around ( Name ) and has been for a considerable amount of time. One time ( Name ) was attempting to bargain with Mimi for her favour. *Chuckles* What a sight.

PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "Master Diviner Fu Xuan would frown upon it... but I suppose napping on the Seat of Divine Foresight is considered a 'pastime' when done regularly enough."

ARGUMENTS: "I do not attempt to quell the frustrations of my dearest. It is not often they disclose them to me and it does pain me to be the cause of their anger. Nevertheless, if it means the two of us will grow closer, then I will gladly offer myself to the brute force of my dearest. Of course, the swelling of regret still stains the heart."

SOMETHING TO SHARE: I've lived one life yet many all at once. Companions scattered amongst the universe and enemies whose names I've gradually forgotten. Yet, underneath the breath of my dearest, I'm simply a man in his spouse's embrace. Nothing else matters."

WHO ARE THEY? II "My most loving spouse."

EXTRA: FU XUAN'S OPINION "When Commander ( Name ) came into the Seat of Divine Foresight to help the General... he grew all the more 'lazy'. A part of me feels sympathetic towards Commander ( Name ), imagine having your own spouse bully you into doing your work? Alas, it's not my business to speak about their marital life. Besides, the two go hand in hand, like a puzzle piece clicking together. Both can do well without, but when joined together, they are a force to be reckoned with."

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐄

WHO ARE THEY? I "Their weapon may be thin, but it pierces holes even in the most... stubborn of enemies."

FIRST MEETINGS? "Elio's script is always followed. However, ( Name ) is a detail I did not anticipate or was foretold. My body met the tip of their spear before I saw their face."

GREETINGS? "Over time ( Name ) has grown close to the Stellaron Hunters- especially Kafka. Their presence is imminent despite not being a Stellaron Hunter themselves. ( Name ) smiles whenever we meet, it has always been more than enough."

PARTINGS? "My promised end will come, yet an absurd inkling of regret remains."

ABOUT US: THE BLADE "( Name ) believes the blade to be a form of art. They had said, 'The blade dances in air with undisturbed poise and precision, a kind of mercy not known to themselves.' I asked them why they chose a spear then. They replied, 'Because I could never dare replicate it's beauty.'"

ABOUT US: WOUNDS "( Name ) never wanted to be a traveller, rather, they opted to string fabrics together with a needle and thread. Perhaps that is where their skills come from."

CHAT: MIDNIGHT "The mara is like a ghost. Yet, ( Name ) is a fool. They embrace the ghost I can't seem to remember other than its bottomless spite and fear."

CHAT: SCARS "Their hands never 'keep to themselves'. ( Name ) prefers to trace their hands over surfaces and make shapes. They tend to draw stars... so many stars."

PASTIMES DONE TOGETHER? "When there are no missions, we sleep in silence. Under the guise of sleep and their warmth, immortality does not follow me."

ARGUMENTS: "When all is said and done, silence remains."

SOMTHING TO SHARE: "If there is life after death, then I wish to meet them in the same manner, again and again with that smile and spear."

WHO ARE THEY II? "The person who taught me how to breathe and pressed their lips against my skin."

EXTRA: KAFKA'S OPINION "Blade will never admit it. But, ( Name ) cares for Blade and Blade does too. The pair will never put a name to the push and pull between them. I caught Bladie once; staring out into the open universe searching for something with a spark of life that doesn't belong to a dead body. I wonder if ( Name ) put that there."

masterlist.

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Cherry Red.

Pairing: Yandere!Gojo x Reader x Yandere!Geto (JJK).

Written in conjunction with this ask from @eevwrites.

Word Count: 1.9k.

TW: Non/Con, Fem!Reader, Nonconsensual Drug Use, Implied Stalking, Kidnapping, Obsessive Behavior, Overstimulation, Biting/Marking, and Slight Dehumanization.

Really, your only mistake had been choosing the wrong savoir after Satoru had slipped something into your drink.

Satoru was obviously, visibly, undeniably a creep. That much was obvious from the second he approached you, neon pink cocktail in-hand and that degenerate grin plastered across his lips. He was sketchy, but he was also rich, and fun, and willing to dance with you hours after the rest of your friends had called it a night. Suguru wasn’t a creep – or, he didn’t look like one, at least. When your vision started to darken, when it became harder than it should’ve been to put one foot in front of the other, it was his chest you stumbled into, using what was left of your consciousness to beg an imposing, aloof stranger to get the bartender’s attention and help you. It was what anyone else would’ve done. It was what you would’ve done, if the roles had been reversed.

It wasn’t until you felt his arm wrap around your waist, until you heard him call so lovingly to Satoru, that you realized how badly you’d fucked up.

Still, stumbling halfway across the club and throwing yourself at a total stranger must've attracted some attention. As Suguru gathered you in his arms, the bartender rounded towards you, eyeing your limp form and Suguru's slight smile warily. “Someone had little too much to drink,” he explained, nonchalantly. “It’s fine. Her boyfriend and I are going to take her home and make sure she gets tuck her in.”

‘Your boyfriend’ being Satoru, apparently, judging by the way he clung to Suguru’s side as you were carried out of the club entirely and piled into the backseat of an inconspicuous black car. Suguru drove and Satoru hovered over you – gnawing hickeys and bruises into your throat until you were too far gone to care.

Whatever they’d dosed you with, it was strong. You were strung out for most of the ride, only vaguely aware of passing scenery, Satoru’s keening whines, and Suguru’s gentle reminders to ‘wait, ‘toru’. By the time you felt your body being lifted, you were beyond the point of deliberate movement – your mind hyperactive, eager to latch onto every little sensation and spiraling thought, but unable to do much more than remind you to breath as you were hauled through a shrine courtyard and into a small, dimly lit backroom; the priest’s personal barracks, if you had to guess. Satoru babbled while Suguru lowered you onto a large, plush bed, and despite your best efforts, you caught most of it. “—and that’s when I knew it had to be you.” Suguru spared you an apologetic smile, his nimble hands moving over your body as he carefully removed your dress, then your shoes, then your panties, stripping you bare with all the care and all the tenderness of an avid collector undressing his favorite doll. “I mean, it took a few months, but I wanted it to be romantic, y’know? Suguru doesn’t get it. He thought I’d be happy with just anyone.”

“It took me a while to come around the idea. I might’ve gotten a little jealous.” You could only wish he would’ve stayed that away. “Come here, I need to show you what you’re doing.”

Suguru dragged you into his lap, keeping your upper body propped against his chest while spreading your legs apart in front of him. Satoru took his position eagerly between then, his eyes fixed on your cunt. “This,” he started, using two thick fingers to spread the folds of your labia apart, “is what you’re gonna fall in love with. Make sure you’re always paying attention to her clit – aw, look, it’s already poking out.”

It was humiliatingly clinical – how he touched you while explaining your anatomy in-detail, using the pad of his thumb to show Satoru how to play with your clit, dipping two fingers into your entrance while extrapolating on the importance of proper preparation, gathering your arousal up to make sure Satoru knew what it would look like when he was doing a good job. “Remember to be gentle. She’s going to be a lot more delicate than me,” he said, while curling two fingers inside of you, filling the bedroom with a rhythmic, humiliatingly wet sound. Your couldn't seem to open your mouth, and yet, little whimpers of discomfort and mewls of pleasure escaped your parted lips without resistance, each new noise drawing Satoru that much closer. “You’ll just be using your mouth, for now. We can talk about hands once you’ve shown some restraint.”

And yet, Satoru’s hands still found their way to your thighs, kneading mindlessly while Suguru split you open on his fingers. You tried to shake your head, to squirm against him, to tell him to stop, but the closest you got to anything coherent was a pitchy, keening sound not totally dissimilar to the whines Satoru would let out every now and then as he ground half-consciously into the mattress. You tried not to feel anything, either, but Suguru’s hands were so big, and his chest was so warm against your back, and with Satoru all-but drooling over your pussy, it would’ve been impossible not to come undone the second his palm ground against your clit and he spread his fingers apart inside of you, nursing you through your orgasm while making sure you were on fully-display. “See how she’s clenching down? That means she’s trying to milk your cock – you’ll get what I mean, once your inside of her.”

If only for a moment, your panic overshadowed your paralysis. Thrashing to either side, you did your best to fight against Suguru’s ironclad hold and finally spit something out, even if your voice was still barely stronger than a whimper. “N-No, don’t, you can’t—”

It was Satoru who cut you off, this time, albeit without breaking his nonverbal streak. His mouth crashed into yours with enough force to bruise, teeth clashing against yours as he shoved his tongue down your throat in less of a kiss and more of a prolonged attempt to choke you to death. It hurt, and you tasted blood, and if you hadn’t known better, than you would’ve thought this was his first—

Oh, god.

As if this couldn’t have gotten any worse.

He didn’t stay focused on your mouth for long. His attention drifted downward – first to your throat, then your collarbone, then your chest, latching onto one of your nipples and sucking harshly. You hadn’t realized how sensitive you were, not until his teeth dug into the plush of your breast and you let out a fractured sob, tears blurring your vision. Suguru’s response was instantaneous. In a fraction of a second, his slick-stained fingers were tangled in Satoru’s hair, prying him off of you entirely. “Gentle,” he repeated, his tone strict, authoritative. “Before I decide you need to be muzzled.”

For what it was worth, Satoru seemed apologetic. After Suguru loosened his hold, he nuzzled into your chest, lapping over his past love bites with the flat of his tongue. “’m sorry, just got excited.” And then, smiling up at you, “You didn’t mind, right? I mean, she definitely doesn’t.”

You had no idea what he was talking about, not until his head dropped to your cunt and he buried his face between your thighs, his attention suddenly solely dedicated to your pussy.

There was no attempt made to use his hands. Despite Suguru’s instructions, he ate you out like a starving animal – his tongue fucking into your cunt as the bridge of his nose ground mindlessly against your clit. Suguru kept his hand in Satoru’s hair, petting gingerly over his scalp as he watched Satoru drool and lap at your cunt. “Use your entire tongue, and don't inhale. She’s not going to be impressed if you manage to drown yourself in pussy.” Suguru tugged lightly, and Satoru let out an unabashed moan, the reverberations going straight to your core. “Don't get distracted, either. Don’t you want to know what she tastes like cumming on your tongue?”

Another moan, another rough buck of Satoru’s hips into the now disheveled sheets. He was terrible, and messy, and loud, and it was humiliating how quickly you lost control of yourself – going stiff against Suguru as Satoru all-but tore your second climax out of you. Suguru grinned against your throat, almost purring with satisfaction. “Good boy. So dedicated, so sweet.” He let go of Satoru’s hair – cupping your face, instead. It was only as his thumb traced over your cheek that you realized you were crying in-earnest, now. “She’s tearing up, ‘toru. That means she wants you to keep going.”

A mix of your arousal and his saliva stained the inside of your thighs, dampening the sheets underneath you, but he didn’t pull away – too caught up in your taste or Suguru’s praise to stop. It might’ve been the overstimulation, or the drugs, or some impossible, nebulous factor you couldn’t so much as begin to guess as, but time seemed to blur together, reality buckling under its own weight as Satoru wrung another orgasm out of you, then another, then another, as Suguru continued to shower him with praise and affection and promises that you liked him, that you wanted this, that you were only crying and thrashing and trying to snap your thighs shut because you felt so good. At some point, you lost the will to keep your eyes open, and minutes later, the harsher edges of your consciousness began to soften. For once, you couldn't be mad at your own body's instinctual submission.

You knew you were going to black out, but you weren't scared. By the time your vision flickered out and everything went black, the only thing you could think to be was grateful that you’d be fortunate enough to miss the main event.

~

You woke up what felt like days later, still lying on the bed you’d blacked out in. Their paralytics had worn off, but trying to make a run for it was out of the question. Every part of your body ached – from your hickey-painted chest to your aching hips to your poor, abused pussy – and even if you’d been able to move, it wouldn’t have done you much good. Familiar bodies caged you in on either side, Suguru’s chest still pressing into your back while Satoru clung to your chest, his arms wrapped around your midriff and his nails embedded in your sides. As if you hadn't already been thoroughly marked.

Suguru stirred first, predictably. It wasn’t hard to tell who was in charge between the two of them. “Our little sleeping beauty,” he muttered into your hair, kissing the top of your head as he sat up and shook Satoru away. “We were starting to get worried – must’ve pushed you too hard last night. You almost missed the most important part.”

Something caught in your throat. “…almost?”

“Yes, princess, almost.” With a groan, Satoru sat up, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Immediately, his gaze fell to you, and just as quickly, he was on top of you – pinning you to the mattress, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “You should be thankful that Satoru had the patience to wait. I wouldn’t have been so nice.”

You felt Satoru’s hands paw at your thighs, wrapping your legs around his waist as he aligned his stiff, leaking cock with your entrance. He moved enthusiastically, but mechanically, like a trained dog. Like he was following instructions. Weakly, you tried to push at his chest, to get him away from you, but you gave up quickly.

You’d been wrong to be grateful. It would’ve been better to get this over with last night.

At least, then, you might’ve been out of it enough to miss the twisted, blissful, lovesick grin painted across Satoru’s lips as he buried himself inside of you.

[mingsolo]

before you go

san x reader (afab) / genre: smut, pwp, established relationship / warnings: unprotected sex, cursing, hair pulling, oral (m receiving), spanking, slightly possessive san but its for the fun of it, jealous san, creampie, pet names (baby), wc: 1.1k / r: 21+

unedited but delicious, also done for the jealousteez collab club project @pirateeznet — have fun hornies!

“Why do you have to go so early?” 

San’s pouty voice resonated from the living room all the way to the bathroom, where you were finishing with your makeup, ready for tonight´s concert. 

“We talked about this Sanie, you can’t convince me to stay, you know how much I spent on the tickets?!”

He was about to reply with another plea, but he shut completely when he saw you got out of your bedroom, doing a spin and showing your finished concert assemble. San stood up, looking at you with wide eyes in admiration. “What do you think?” you said, spinning again, making your pleated skirt dance against your thighs, making the chains around your waist dingle. 

“Fuck! You look so hot, no! you can’t go like this, baby” he got closer, grabbing your waist and admiring your form. His eyes turned sparkly and his pout became almost cartoonish. “You've been talking too much about that Jake guy, and now he’s going to look at you like this, bounce like this, for him…” he added, sounding rather sad.

“Don’t be silly San, he won’t even notice me!”

“He would be an idiot if he doesn’t” He said, pulling you back against his chest.

You giggled, finding him amusing but knowing he is actually being serious. Truth was San couldn't handle you going to concerts, even less, guy concerts where a dude you won’t shut up about would be performing. 

“That’s sweet Sanie, but I doubt it,” you said, kissing him and throwing your arms around his neck. “Let’s make a deal, go home and after the concert, I’ll crash a your apartment and make it up for you, I promise”

San looked at the ceiling, considering your offer, but after a moment of deliberation, he thought of something. “I would be less mad about those guys seeing you dance in this outfit, If I get to fill you up good before you go, that’s my condition.” 

“Huh?!” you knew he was joking, he wouldn´t put conditions on you for going out or not, but this was cruel from him. He knew how fucking hot he was when he talked tried dirty talk on you, and what it provoked.

“Choi San, you wouldn’t” you glared at him.

“I won’t ruin your pretty outfit, I promise.”

Moments later, you were on your knees, soft pillow under them not to hurt you or ruin your fishnet tights. You look up to San, your eyes search for him and he looks down with drowsy eyes. “You look so pretty, baby,” he groans, and curses when you increase your pace, dick hot and heavy in your mouth. You gag and his teeth press onto his bottom lip, if you didn’t knew him better, you would say, in agony, 

He grabs his base and urges you to go one more time with all you got. The sounds you make as you suck him up are driving him insane and you can feel it on how his dick throbs against your throat. He is so loud you swear all your neighbors know what you are doing, but you don’t care. 

“Fuuuuuuck,” he groans, hearing you gag on him, “Shhh, baby, look at me” San lifts your head gently and your lashes flutter, “Fuck, are you crying?” He gasps but you don’t stop, taking him all in until he hits the back of your throat again. 

“You want me to load onto you in all places huh?” You nod and he curses again, “Crying because you want my cum on you so bad? thought you were in a hurry to leave, baby” You shake your head slightly and he giggles unable to resist how your lips and tongue work on him. 

Just as you are about to need to grasp some air, San thrust three times into you rather harshly. San sees that you need air and pulls out, “I love fucking your mouth, but I don’t want to ruin the makeup you spend so much working on” He then takes your arm and pull you up, immediately turning you over and bending you over the arm of the sofa, lifting your skirt, realizing is not tights what you are wearing, but stockings. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?,” He grunts and presses against you, dragging his cock against your folds, hearing you whine and whimper, until he’s satisfied. “Where are your shorts?”

“Sanie, I haven't finished dressing up!” you cry. 

“Sure thing,” He chuckles darkly, pushing himself into you with ease, “Such. A. Slut” he said, pushing into you harshly with every word. You moan, feeling how San turns your face towards him and kisses you sloppily. It’s so messy and the angle is awkward but the both of you need to be connected in every way. 

when San breaks the kiss, and grabs you by the hair, it’s harsh but at the same time he doesn’t want to mess up your recently done hair, and despite spit dripping out your mouth thanks to the kiss and San slamming into you like a fucking starved man, you feel so enamoured by him that you start to tear up again. 

One hand on your hair and the other on your stomach, keeping you close to him as he slams in and out, while sucking on your neck, making sure to leave some kind of mark for you to display later tonight. “Baby, you like that you're gonna be jumping and dancing with my cum inside you all night, right?,” you nod frantically, and San feels like exploding at any second. “Want to be sure you don’t forget about me baby, gonna fill you up so good” 

You moan and he takes the chance to leave your hair and stick two fingers into your mouth. Wasting no time you start sucking them, at the same pace of San’s thrusts inside you. San hits your sweet spot and you sob into his fingers, accidentally taking them out.

“San please, please!” 

“What baby, you wanna come already?” 

“Please baby, I want to come”

San increases his pace and it's becoming rather sloppy, so you know he’s close too. “Fuck then come with me, let’s come together bab— yyy!” San lets out a whiny moan that you sure resonated in the entire building. He pressed himself against you and you rode your release at the same time that you felt San’s hot cum filling you up. “Just like that,” he breathes out, moving a little to see if his cum is leaking out of you as he wished. “Mine, mine only.” He says, spanking you loudly.

You moan and San chuckles, helping you stand up. He smiles, kissing your temple before he goes to pick up some tissues to help you clean up before you need to change stockings. 

“Now go for those shorts, or else I’ll fuck you again until the concert is over.” 

“Sanie!” 

He huffs, dimples showing as he smiles again, and then he squints. “I mean it.” 

@mingsolo please do not re-upload/translate to other sites

[frostbitebakery]

for @ferretrade

.Hashmarks

“I’ve seen a few troopers commemorating their kills with those,” Aayla comments, pointing her stylus at his collarbone where his shirt has slipped down.

It’s absolutely sweltering on this planet whose name Bly is saving in his long term memory just to avoid it in the future. Breathing feels like swallowing water, sitting still has him sweating more profusely than the 16-hour battle sims they endured during training. So of course his temp-regulating undersuit is shot to hell and their quartermaster is a mean bastard trying to teach him a lesson in taking better care of his stuff.

Bly had wanted to cry and beg for mercy.

Instead he had narrowed his eyes, nodded once in menacing silence, and turned back to his duties, hoping to instill at least some fear and regret in Q.

Aayla, his cruel savior, had crinkled her nose at him and offered a very large, very billowy shirt when he had sweat-squelched his way to their command tent. “It’s Quinlan’s, originally,” she had explained at his curious look. “He didn’t want it anymore.”

“Too many sleeves?” Bly had guessed hazardously.

So now he’s sitting in shorts and a billowy shirt at their shared desk, the collar constantly slipping off his shoulder because Vos is huge, and it’s an all-around aggravating situation. Except Aayla who’s lovely and can do no wrong, obviously. But who’s also taking an interest in his tattoos which Bly is not prepared for since his brain is actively melting.

“They’re for my batch mates,” he thus replies to her inquiry.

While the frown is settling into her features, her eyes flick down to count the marks.

Bly kind of wants to cringe. Oops.

“I thought batches were… decanted,” bless her for stumbling over that word, “in fives?”

He leans back, shrugs deliberately which has the added bonus of the shirt hiding the hashmarks again. “Now, yeah.”

“Cody, Wolffe, Fox,” she counts, her eyes boring into him. She’s like a massif with a bone, and there are moments Bly wants to be a chew toy. Sadly, this isn’t one of them. “I’m sorry about Ponds,” she says, means it with all her heart. “And you. I thought that was your batch?”

“Now. Yeah,” he repeats, half-smile lifting one side of his mouth. Does his best to not let the relief be palpable for her senses.

.Lightning

“Does it really have to mean anything when it looks this cool?” He almost cracks his neck trying to look at his back in the mirror. Lightning bolts strike out from his spine, wrapping around his upper arms like electric wings.

So cool.

“Your body, your choice,” Aayla says diplomatically.

Never mind the nay-sayers.

.Tic Tac Toe

“Ow,” Bly groans.

“Fucking tubie,” Squid hisses at him, bloody hands doing stuff way too fast for him to follow, “stop crying, it’s just a flesh wound.”

Holy hell, but the spots in front of his eyes do seem to grow larger. “You’re holding my innards,” he points out just as Squid throws away something bloody. “Don’t I still need that?”

“That was a wound pad, stupid.”

Wow, the black spots are in color now. “Mind the regs, soldier,” he slurs out.

Squid pulls a bandage - when did he do that? He’s incredible. He makes tattoos and medic stuff! - way too tight. “Commander Stupid,” he relents with another harsh pull. Bly pouts at him. “Congrats, you won the game.”

Bly weakly fist bumps the air. “Yay.”

.327

“Well,” he huffs out with a chuckle, leans back against the hull, “they’re my everything. Body, heart, soul. I’m ready to die for them.”

“They’re ready to die for you, too,” Aayla says quietly.

“Yeah.” He watches her roll the mug a trooper, long gone, made for her between her hands. “Wish they’d stop that.”

.Splinters

Squid wipes away the excess ink with ease and practice. “Well, it looks as stupid as you wanted it to. My work here is done.”

“Are you sure you can’t see the tattoo underneath?”

“Of course.” Squid pulls off the stained gloves, throwing him a judging side-eye. “No one will know what exactly you “hearted”, Commander.”

.Text

“Out of my way,” Aayla reads off his hand while he is unfairly under the influence of way too many drugs, “Rippin off my flesh, so you can’t recognize me, anymore.”

“I was an angsty youth,” he explains, maybe still sore about Wash forgetting the g in ripping.

She nods sagely. “That explains your taste in music.”

“I love polka.”

“No, the other one—“ She pats his hand which she’s still holding. His hand is so lucky. “Never mind. When you get out of here I’m introducing you to grunge and taking you flannel-shopping.”

His head is already nodding. His body is awesome at responding. “You’re like my sugar daddy,” he compliments her. Her and her twin. No, that can’t be right. He blinks and there’s only one Aayla again.

She snorts at him. “Showing you the holonet has been a mistake and keeps me up at night.”

.Flowers

“I wanna be a hi—,” Bly hiccups, fumbles with his drink before it goes all over Cody. “Hibi—“

“Hibiscus,” Fox suggests more drily than his drink.

“That one! I wanna be a hibiscus in my next life.” Just chilling in the sun all day, getting watered.

“I wanna be a spexcel sheet,” Cody says to the soaked through napkin which is stuck to his face but also to the table.

“We know,” the rest of them say in unison.

Man, being a hibiscus would be amazing. He will not remember this by morning.

Bly sits up in alarm at that revelation, spills his drink over Cody anyway. “I will not remember wanting to be a hibiscus,” he says, keeps his voice from wobbling by the skin of his teeth.

“You could write it on Cody the spexcel sheet to remember,” Wolffe suggests, pats Cody’s head when vague grunts of agreement sound from the napkin.

“Or,” Fox drawls out with a slow grin.

.

Bly very carefully tugs on the bandage with squinting eyes. The foil and adhesive separating from his skin is loud as fuck but needs must when it comes to facing the fallout of a drunken night. The bandage slowly reveals tender but well-healing skin, gold and a dark brown accentuating his skin.

He stares.

“This is not a hibiscus.”

[inbarfink]

"Just move forwards, Simon! Well, maybe I don't want to move forwards!"

Okay, so it’s pretty damn obvious that Simon’s whole rant here is not just about the physical act of moving forwards through the Time Room. Like, I don’t need to explain what ‘moving forwards’ means in this case, right? But… the thing I’ve been thinking of is that the metaphor here might actually extend more than just this one line.

Because, yeah, Simon does need to move forwards. Metaphorically because embracing change and accepting you can’t actually go back to some idealized past where things were Better is the only way he can actually be happier. And literally because there is an Angry Beetle Cop out to murder his head off for the crime of being chosen by God as a sapient hard-drive. 

But moving on is hard, and you know why?

Because it is hard to move forwards in this silly little mumu.  

And again, this is both metaphorical and literal. Simon is fully aware that he should move forwards with his life, but this robe is yet another painful reminder of the trauma he’s trying to move on from. Yet another example of people treating him like he’s Ice King. Yet another symbol that him being Simon again is seen as some sort of a mistake.

And also, it’s just obviously physically, literally uncomfortable for him to move in this thing.

Simon was forced into a fit designed for a Wizard who could Fly. He’s constantly lifting it up and being so careful about his steps as to not stumble on it, and also trying so hard to not flash his genitalia to God and God’s two OCs that he shoved in his brain. Not to mention he’s running around the Time Room barefoot. And, like, at least when Ice King wore this he still had underpants.

But the thing is.... like, okay, the thing about the Shorts Scene is that it is kinda unfair Fionna got her outfit upgraded into a more comfortable variant while Simon still has to wear the Trauma Robes. But the important thing to remember is that Fionna got those lovely shorts because she explicitly complained about the skirt.

You can say that Simon’s problems should’ve been Obvious and maybe that’s true… but it’s still notable that unlike Fionna, who immediately complained when she started to find her outfit kinda uncomfortable - Simon lets out one sarcastic grumble when he first gets the robe and then just keeps his mouth shut and quietly wallows in his misery until he reached his breaking point. 

That seems notable especially with what we see of Simon in “Simon Petrikov” and how hard it is for him to be honest with his loved ones about his problems. 

I’ve seen some people express some anger at the way Finn and Marceline acted towards Simon during that episode. Saying they didn’t care about Simon enough. But Simon was deliberately hiding his struggles from them - and especially from Marcy. You know, he opened up to Finn and Finn was honestly doing what he thought was best. The problem being that Finn is pretty-messed-up himself and not good at therapy.

And Simon decided the best solution was just to drop the whole thing and pretend that Finn’s adventure did help as a way to end that nightmare without directly confronting him about Actually Making Things Worse. As far as Finn is concerned, Simon was doing badly and is now doing well. And as far as Marcy is concerned Simon is doing just fine! And this situation is not likely to change unless Simon actually speaks up!

Of course, this is easier said than done. I mean, like I said, he was TRYING to open up to Finn and from his perspective, got punished for even trying out for help.

And with the mumu, the situation is a even more complicated. Yes, Simon didn’t speak up when he had the chance to say ‘hey, actually it’s also pretty hard to run around barefoot in a robe! I would like some Pants please!” But also… where Finn and Marceline have both expressed nothing but genuine concern for Simon and take his issues very seriously in their own way - Prismo, Fionna and Cake have all been kinda callous about Simon’s situation and his mental well-being so far. 

So maybe it wasn’t totally unreasonable for Simon to assume that any attempt to assert what would make it easier for him to actually move forwards will fail. Or at least would be far too emotionally grueling to actually be worth it. I'm not saying that's for-sure what would've happened. I mean those three aren't just jerks for the sake of being jerks - it's just that Prismo is kinda occupied with his own grief-induced-depression-spiral and Fionna and Cake don't really get Simon yet. And we're surely going to get to a point in this narrative where these two genuinely care about him too sooner or later. But I can see in that moment why he would think that.

And so he keeps wallowing in the misery and resentment as it gets increasingly harder and harder to keep going forwards. Until he breaks and decide that maybe, what he actually wants is to just stop.  

[shuinami]

Jess and Hobie: their defining strengths + their weaknesses

I had a thought about Hobie while I was writing, have been thinking about Jess for a while and then this post about Miguel came out and it made me kind of want to yap. I'll only talk about Hobie and Jessica here because I'm biased + Peter & Gwen have been talked about a lot + I linked a post about Miguel + Miles & Pav have simpler, more obvious flaws that basically come down to youthful naivety.

I also find it really interesting that their flaws are basically opposites, Hobie's comes from "inconsistency" whilst Jessica's comes from stubbornness. And again, both these flaws come from their greatest strengths.

TL;dr

Jess' defining strength is her resolve when it comes to fighting for what's right and tussling with destiny but it causes her to have a one-track mind, even if it comes to dedicating herself to something wrong (from being misguided).

Hobie's defining strength is his optimism (e.g. anarcho-communism) but the extreme difficulty of pursuing those ideals and the struggle against systems can bring that optimism to a breaking point, causing him to be inconsistent or, more directly, to give up.

I think people forget that Jessica's pregnancy is by design and not just a 'feature' of Jessica Drew as a character. She was deliberately chosen to be represented in this stage of her life and I think it is so important to her character, even if it's not in the traditional way that pregnancy is typically portrayed as in media.

I think her pregnancy shows the kind of person she is: most obviously, it's cold, hard evidence that she's a bamf who takes care of spidey business even while pregnant.

More importantly to me, though, there's an implication that, as her universe's one and only spidey, she has been the one to save the day and been the change she wishes to seek, effectively enough that she feels comfortable bringing a baby into the world.

Unlike someone like Peter, she does not make the choice between bringing her child to work with her or leaving them behind. She just has to do what she needs to do to make sure her kid is safe, there's no failing for her. During her pregnancy, it's always going to be a matter of life and death. Jess is well aware and, instead of shying away from action, she's just committed to not making those kinds of mistakes. To get over her losses. She's going to take charge of her own world's destiny as she has always done and she's going to make sure it's good.

Her strong allegiance to Miguel's ideas is her most glaring flaw to us as an audience because A. we're seeing things through Miles' eyes, she's standing in the way of him saving his father and B. we know that Miguel can't be right about canon events - we know they wouldn't make the movies as bleak as that.

Of course, taking a step back from our perspective, it's also a flaw because she is being antagonistic to a teenager as a grown adult. It might make her seem cold and harsh.

However, Jess was the one to vouch for Gwen, to take her in, even though Miguel didn't want her to and they could have left things up to the web of destiny. Jess trusts her own capabilities but she doesn't trust the world to be kind. She doesn't assume Gwen can handle things just because she can, either. On top of being sympathetic, I think her dedication to being the change she wishes to see is why she accepts Gwen as a student; she trusts that a young girl can make the world a better place too, it's not a thing where she wants to micromanage everything. She just wants to know the multiverse is in safe hands. That's her "great responsibility".

The only reason she is following the anti-Miles agenda is because Miles, as far as she and anybody else in-movie knows, is jeopardising the existence of every universe (insidiously via the holes). Maybe, in another position, say, a bright-eyed teen who mainly worried about high school and puppy love, she would be more willing to risk things, to see how it goes.

She's not in that position though. Her world that she felt confident she had the power to keep safe has been made uncertain. One day, it could just go poof, along with her baby, and she wouldn't be able to stop it in the moment. If she makes the right decision now, if she doesn't make a mistake, she can prevent it. It's understandable that she's going to do whatever it takes to prevent anomalies.

What was the canon event chosen to represent her?

Her version of the moment from "The Final Chapter".

It comes from a story that largely focuses on Peter's personal life before spiralling into action to make up for a mistake that has made Aunt May fatally ill. In the panel, Spider-Man is trapped under machinery with the cure - the thing that will absolve the mistake - just out of reach. As the lair is flooded, drowning is imminent.

Against all odds, though, Spider-Man pushes past what should have killed him and rises to the occasion, with the thoughts of saving Aunt May and refusing to have a repeat of Uncle Ben.

"I won't fail you. No matter what - I won't fail."

Jess has had to handle her own fate as well as her world's. Now that the multiverse is involved, it's not going to stop at her own universe. She has to stop this. She won't fail. As per the dialogue between her and Gwen in ATSV, she's made a mistake before (by getting too close to someone) but she tells Gwen "I got over it". Sounds so savage in the moment but she still gives Gwen a chance to make her own situation right before letting her get kicked off the team. Helping Gwen in spite of the anomaly would be a mistake if she couldn't handle this.

And when the Spot gets away and Miles enters the picture? The gloves come off. It's tempting fate at that point. Jess' no mistakes mindset pushes her to even prepare to roll up on a teenager.*

Her greatest strength is her resolve - I mean, hell, she doesn't let even pregnancy slow her down when it comes to saving the world - but it causes her to be stubborn and leads her down a misguided path.

*By the end of the film, she seems to be questioning Miguel's method, though. On top of the fact that BTSV is obviously going to end on a good note, I think Jess' fight against destiny is going to have her come around in the end as Miles is doing the same thing.

Onto Hobie:

I luv luv luv Hobie as much as everyone else, he's definitely my favourite but I feel he has his flaws too (which tend to make me love my faves more lol).

In fact, I think he says what they are when we first meet him, though they are veiled as jokes.

I find that the audience tends to position him as a perfect distillation of anarcho-communism at its best. I think the teen spideys see him in a similar light; they see him as effortlessly cool & charismatic, a wise mentor figure ("use your palms" + his play fighting with Pavitr featured him taking on the stance of a boxing trainer as Pavitr tried to punch his palms) but he's not like the adult adults - he's relatable, he's cool, he's anarchist, he's not always on their case like Jess and Miguel.

He neither calls himself a hero nor a role model... but he is the perfect hero and role model, right? He's the best! He's the only one who's looking out for Miles and, when Miles is getting chased down by the entire society, what does he do?

He... quits.

Wouldn't that perfect hero we all believe him to be swoop in with his cape, know exactly what to do and save Miles, the underdog? He can't have possibly known Miles would manage against the society and, if he knew it was possible, then why wouldn't he lend a hand? He didn't drop off the watch in Miles' dimension, he gave one to his bestie, Gwen, likely in the scenario that she wanted to quit or got booted because 'it [didn't] work out'.**

I think Hobie's major flaw is his lack of consistency, as he famously said himself.

He has a strong moral code - he believes in the right things for the right reasons... but communism and anarchy are pretty much impossible to properly/entirely employ in a system that is consumerist, capitalist and authoritarian. He riots, he fights, but it's never over. London isn't free. In my experience, people with strong moral compasses tend to have issues with themselves because they hold others to higher standards than most and hold themselves to even higher and impossible standards (think Diane from Bojack Horseman).

One of the first comic panels I encountered of Hobie was him getting real with Captain Anarchy about losing morale because, despite killing President Ozzy Osborne, the face of fascism in his dystopia, nothing changes. He wasn't able to save the world like a hero in a movie or like a proper role model. He 'failed'. When you give your everything and nothing changes, no matter how optimistic, clever or read-up on theory you are, it can be hard to keep going.

And what is chosen as his defining canon event?

His version of Spider-Man quitting in "Spider-Man No More". Rather than being fed up with the world antagonising him as 616 is, Hobie is done with an antagonistic world.

The Hobie/Spider-Punk that has been built up externally, as far as I understand, would never give up. He'd keep raging forever and ever because that's the cool thing to do, because it's the heroic thing to do - because it's the right thing to do.

But under the mask, he's just a teenager, imperfect as any other.

He's still a Spider-Man too. Before the bite, he was another lanky black boy in racist-af, peak National Front, send-the-blacks-and-the-Asians-back, '70s England. He's a nerd, as evidenced by his ability to build such a high-tech watch, especially as a teenager who wouldn't have had access to anything like it until joining the society, meaning he had to pick it up quick. And I'm to think he didn't have any Flash-esque characters in his life? "Come out of it."

As Spider-Man with the mask on, he yells to the rooftops; as Hobie with the mask off, he mumbles and whispers. Sure he looks cool now but people don't tend to come out of the womb as Spider-Punk. On top of that, he's still so young and surely has plenty of room to grow.

I believe he joined the society in earnest, optimistic that he could help the multiverse but eventually reached his limits with actively facilitating death and trauma, with saving the multiverse not meaning freedom in his own universe, with being shackled to the web of destiny. I'm not convinced he made the watch in one day; I think he had been planning on quitting for some time and was waiting for the right moment (as he also wanted to support Gwen because friendship is important to him). That's why he tries to dissuade Miles from joining but, when he does leave, he doesn't go out in a riot, he doesn't even leave knowing that Miles has people on his side other than him. Hobie just quits.

I think his greatest strength is his optimism (his anarcho-communism & adamance about "love, joy and freedom" as per the un-permitted performance art pieces in his montage) but he's smart and he's been through shit - he isn't naive like Pavitr or Miles - the great heights of that optimism lead to intensely low lows.

**(I don't really see why or how he would have been able to predict everything that happened in the chase. I know that the watch is set to 1610 but if Hobie believed Miles would make it out of 928 and get back to 1610, would that not be things 'working out'? Or did he predict that he would get to the go-home machine but was the only one who considered that he would be sent to the place his spider came from. Why? And why wouldn't he set the watch to 42 if he knew Miles wouldn't be in 1610? I feel like the 1610 on the interface is just there to be there and that Hobie gave Gwen the watch so she could have the freedom to leave 65 if she wanted to, in the event that she quit the society because they captured Miles or because Miguel kicked her out as Jess kept warning.)

[fallenclan]

how does the clan feel about mistlefrost and inkynose both being deliberately "punished" / injured on ravenstar's orders? also, i'm theorizing that inkynose challenged ravenstar's decision to harm mistlefrost, so, ravenstar, like the hilarious funnyguy he is, decided to do the same thing to inkynose.

has cloudtuft told anyone else (besides blossomfur) about his relationship with pondshine?

do you have any shallowclan lore bottled up? i'm super curious about branchstar and his daughter beechleaf.. what was their relationship with violetstar like? does she approve of her successor?

-🐉 (some thoughts and mostly questions!)

the thing about Ravenstar is that, to the clan's eyes, he was Chosen By Starclan. he's also the Clan Leader, which, by default, is a position near-implicitly trusted by the whole clan. even though he's done some terrible things, they do trust his judgement, and he does have justification for his acts (Barely. I mean so flimsy its insane), so while there's definitely some distaste for him amongst the more righteous and soft-hearted cats, the majority of the clan still believes he's a great leader.

nope! just Blossomfur right now, although I do have to imagine his sisters and mom knew that Something is up, even if they didn't know exactly what.

Beechleaf & Branchstar!!! I do have just a bit of lore on them. Beechleaf actually has a sister, Birchclaw, and both of them were born just before Violetstar died and Branchstar became leader. They don't know their mother (she's a loner), but are extremely happy with their father, who is honestly better at being a dad than he is at being clan leader. He's kind of a pushover. As for Violetstar, were she alive she would Not be happy with her successor. She chose Branchstar because she basically needed someone to do the 'boring' tasks (take care of hunting patrols, figure out who to apprentice to who, etc) while she focused on the other clans and on the war. Also, he was easy to control, and wouldn't object to her more bloodthirsty whims. She meant to appoint a new deputy eventually (assuming he wouldn't be able to defend himself in the war and would soon die--spoiler, he lived bitch), but didn't get the chance before she died. Branchstar is old now, but Shallowclan has lived in relative peace since he became leader, so he is pretty well liked, and is balanced out well by his slightly more vicious deputy, Fernshadow.

[myusuchaa]

Ellis Twilight 2nd Birthday Event Story

The Shape of Happiness - Embraced by the Thorns of a Mad Love: Part 2 this is a fan translation. i do not own anything. Cybird has the right of ownership to all in-game content.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

Kate: It became a rainstorm in no time.

The normally bustling city fell silent due to the rain.

Ellis: Kate, you're not wet are you? Are you okay?

Kate: I'm fine, I'm dry, but if you tilt the umbrella anymore, you're the one who's going to get wet!

I stopped his hand as he leaned in to shade me with a large umbrella.

(I was happy when he said we can both share one umbrella. But if he keeps this up, he'll surely catch a cold.)

We huddle closely while we walk to avoid getting wet but-

Ellis: Kate, be careful! Slippery puddles are dangerous!

-ah!-

His hand suddenly wrapped around my waist and pulled me toward him. The force was so strong, I ended up essentially hugging him.

I look up to see a satisfied smirk on his face.

(It's almost too much, being this close to him!)

Ellis: ...Your face has turned red. How cute.

He kissed me and my heart pounded just from his touch.

Kate: E- Ellis!!... Outside??

My lips were stolen again and I hurriedly glanced around us.

Ellis: It's fine, no one really comes out during rain like this...

Ellis: ... Other than us.

Kate: Wha-!

Moving in again and changing his angle, he kisses me once more.

Ellis: Are you in pain? You're breathing quite hard, it's very charming.

Kate: ...Please!!

I'm shocked by how strangely forward he is with me today, but I also can't help but be happy about it.

(Ellis seems to be acting even sweeter than usual today.)

Ellis: There's somewhere I want to take you, is that fine?

Kate: Of course! We can go anywhere.

I never thought the day would come where Ellis would share his own wants and feelings.

He gradually become a little more selfish, telling me of his desires.

I couldn't help but want to listen to everything and every thought he shared with me.

Ellis: Then, let's go to that store over there to buy a summer nightgown for you.

Ellis: Next, we'll go to a general store and you can pick out some accessories that you'd like to wear.

Ellis: When you're done with that, we can visit the gelato shop and get you something you want to eat.

Kate: ...Wait a second, you do know today is your birthday, right?

Ellis: Is it?

He tilted his head, grinning and seemingly unbothered by what he was saying.

Kate: Then... I'll make today my birthday.

Ellis: Seeing you enjoying yourself makes me the happiest man.

Ellis: I'd like to make you happy, for my sake.

Ellis: Is that wrong?

(He's been acting naughty lately...)

Knowing that I always give in to what he wants, that I want to hear more of him, he deliberately comes closer to peer at my face with a worried expression.

Kate: ..I'll use my 'birthday' as a day to give you all sorts of presents.

Ellis: I'd be happy with anything you could ever give me, but now I'm looking forward to it more.

Ellis: Now - the store.

We continued walking through the streets of a rainy London, as if were were the only two left in the world.

—

Ellis: I'm glad the rain has stopped.

He smiled as he held a large brown paper bag.

Kate: I'm very happy, but I do feel regret over all these things you've bought me.

Ellis: When I'm out for work, I always see things that make me think of you or would look good on you.

Ellis: I'm never sure if you'd actually like them, so I wanted to buy them when you were with me.

Kate: I'd be happy with absolutely anything you give me.

This summer I'll certainly be wearing lots of items bought by Ellis.

Ellis: I'm looking forward to seeing you wear what I chose for you.

With a content smile, he turned his attention toward the bag I was holding.

Ellis: Come to think of it, what did you buy yourself?

Kate: This is a present for you~

(He told me he didn't need anything, but this caught my eye and I just had to buy it for him.)

Kate: We're already holding so many things, so I'll give it to you later.

Ellis: Heh..

As I kept walking toward the bridge, I suddenly noticed he was no longer next to me and turned around.

Kate: Ellis?

The twilight dusk gleamed on him as he laughed from further away, making his eyes look radiant.

That expression which tugs at my heart and disappears as quickly as it comes is like sweet jam.

A sweet poison.

Ellis: Hey, Kate... how happy are you now?

<- Part 1 Part 3 ->

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

a/n: yall i was squealing here.. i absolutely love how he is treating her omggg i could just hear his teasing flirty self with gen sato's voice help. it was fun working on this chapter

[holmsister]

As for Shuro/Toshiro... lemme see if I can put this coherently. The long and short of it is, this is Ryoko Kui doing the thing she does in which she uses the dungeon as a neutral background in which characters with different ideas can clash and come to terms with each other. We're not supposed to side with Toshiro, but we are not supposed to side with Laios, really, mostly because there is no "right" and "wrong" here.

A character who is heavily coded as autistic and comes from a northern europe coded culture (low-context - information is supposed to be conveyed in the most straightforward and clear way possible, even when said way is considered rude) meets another character who is extremely shy and comes from a japan coded culture (high context - info is supposed to be inferred by a mix of behaviour and conversational allusion, maintaining peaceful interpersonal relationships takes precedent over efficiency).

Neither of them are inherently wrong in the way they approach the other. Yes, Toshiro shouldve said something, but he doesn't know how. He was not taught how to handle someone like Laios. Conversely, Laios was not taught how to read between the lines and understand what a person is trying to convey if they are not speaking directly.

Since Laios is the main protagonist and we see most of the story from his POV, and also since most people on this website are American (low context culture), its easy for people to assume we are supposed to side with him. But I don't think that's the author's intention at all. Remember - Kui is Japanese writing for a primarily Japanese audience. From THEIR POV Toshiro's behaviour is perfectly understandable. It's also worth noting that there is a lot of extra material that gives further context to the Toshiro/Laios relationship.

One of the main points, for example, is how Laios gets Toshiro's name wrong. When they first met, Toshiro is immediately an object of curiosity to Laios BECAUSE he is a foreigner from a faraway land. Laios immediately invites himself to become his friend and starts asking question after question. When he finally remembers he's supposed to ask for Toshiro's name, he misunderstands it as Shuro, and Toshiro is too shy to correct him. "Renaming" the foreign side character for the benefit of the Western main character is an extremely loaded symbolic choice from Robinson Crusoe's Friday onward. I am not aware of the particular history of this trope in Japanese literature, but other elements of Toshiro's story suggest that renaming in his culture is something that is often done to slaves. Ryoko Kui is generally very deliberate about details like these. I highly doubt this is a random choice.

Of course Laios does not do it on purpose and Toshiro understands this and decides to let it slide, but its still something hurtful that Laios does to another person without even realising that hes doing it. This is a type of mistake he does often and he will do again across the story.

Again. Not saying Toshiro is perfectly right either, but there is a reason why they finish the meeting on relatively decent terms - because they BOTH recognise how they went wrong.

Toshiro realises that he needs to be more direct and determined about what he wants, but this is a reality check for Laios as well. He has been able to coast by so far in the dungeon without giving much thought to other people's wants and needs, thanks to the help of friends who care for him and are willing to follow him, but the story is changing pace and scale. Soon he might have to make some difficult decisions that involve the life and death of others. He needs to learn to listen.

This is why the Toshiro confrontation happens in the same span where we see Chimera!Falin going on a rampage, and Kabru trying to establish a friendship with Laios to assess what kind of person he is. Several narrative threads are coming to a head - the conflict with Toshiro is the tangible result of the tensions we saw around Laios' uncaring attitude from the beginning.

[kaedekolya]

alkaid: of sincerity, soulmates, and selfless sacrifice

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ Happy birthday, Alkaid! \(´▽`)/ ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ-

In honour of this special day, I’ve prepared a present – a short meta post answering the question posed in the LBC discord server, “What made you fall for Alkaid?”

This screenshot pretty much sums it up (mild Godheim spoilers):

Alkaid loves deeply, and this manifests in his unwavering devotion and earnest sincerity. He is a steadfast protector who loves and feels and hurts with every fibre of his being, yet he conceals this intensity with a genial demeanour.

What are Alkaid’s core motivations and character traits? What lies beneath the facade of this heartrendingly complex character? For all that Alkaid is an enigma, he also inadvertently wears his heart on his sleeve, if you know where to look.

[ SPOILERS: broad references to Alkaid’s stories from Godheim, White Day, and Book of Tales. ]

Upon MC’s first encounter with Alkaid in the modern world, my first impression of him was a decently good one, but not particularly impressive or memorable. He’s the generic nice guy, the affable upperclassman who welcomes you to school and helps you settle in comfortably.

Later, we come to realise that this is exactly what he wants others to think. Alkaid intentionally projects the image of an unassuming gentleman, concealing his true emotions underneath an amiable disposition and a pleasant smile. Wearing this persona as his shield, he strives to be likeable, while also fading into the background, unobtrusive and unremarkable. The less attention drawn to himself, the better; there will be fewer chances to slip up, fewer risks of making a mistake. As long as he keeps up appearances, he can play the role of the perfect prince.

Alkaid does not do this to be deliberately duplicitous; in fact, it is much the contrary. His innate kindness and self-effacing consideration for others spur him to accommodate as much as he can, often to the point of self-sacrifice. He hides his true self, in order to please others. He relinquishes what he has, in order to give others what they want. Alkaid puts himself secondary to what others ask of him, not because he thinks of himself as worthless, but because he believes he is worth less.

In the Book of Tales event, Alkaid’s story draws from Oscar Wilde’s The Nightingale and the Rose. It is a tale of a nightingale who sacrifices her blood and her life, in order to create a red rose for the human she loves. In the same way, Alkaid readily pierces himself with thorns so that he can give MC the red rose she needs. Despite the excruciating pain, he does not flinch in the slightest, but he immediately reacts in a panic when MC is hurt by the thorny vines. Alkaid cares for others more than he does himself, yet he does not realise that by valuing himself less and taking all the hurt upon himself, he is inadvertently hurting those who care for him.

In Godheim, Alkaid’s love is also shown through selfless sacrifice. He willingly forsakes himself without a second thought, simply because he loves someone that deeply and thinks that little of himself in comparison. He would rather inflict wounds on himself than risk taking advantage of the person he loves, and he always strives to be kind no matter the cruelty dealt to him. His desire stems from love, and his power coalesces from his wish to protect those who matter to him.

In an effort to keep MC safe, Alkaid pushes himself to the brink, exhausting all his magic and life energy to the point that he nearly dies. One particular route branch has him shouldering the blame on MC's behalf, taking her punishment upon himself so that she doesn't have to. At the end of it all, he even writes a biography to honour Clarence's sacrifice, despite everything the Archmage has done to him. Alkaid is so empathetic that he can see past his sister's death and recognise that MC is an unwilling player in this whole situation, that she doesn't deserve anyone's ire.

Alkaid's heart runs so deep and so kind, yet he never recognises his own goodness, instead fearing the potential for evil within him. Throughout his Godheim route, he refrains from ending anyone's life, even that of his enemies, yet he is willing to commit evil with his own hands if it means he can protect his beloved MC. It is this irony, this multifacetedness to Alkaid that makes him such an intriguing character – even as it makes him fear himself for what he is capable of.

In modern-day Alkaid, this contradiction is reflected in his self-perception. Borrowing the metaphor of the Rose Elf and the Gentleman Agent, Alkaid believes he cannot possibly be the former because he is nowhere near as honest or upright. Instead, he identifies with the latter, because he hides so much of himself in the shadows.

What Alkaid fails to realise, however, is that these characters are not one-dimensional tropes, and neither is he. The Gentleman Agent is shrouded in veils and deceit, but he is also a protector. The Rose Elf is fragile and delicate, but he is also so ardent in his love and commitment. Alkaid is all of these things, because they can coexist without being contradictory. I won’t go into detail about Awakening, since it’s still a relatively new release and the story is best experienced for yourself, but his route there also ties in with this theme.

Alkaid’s worst fears stem from the dual nature he perceives in himself, the capacity for evil that he believes lurks dormant in his heart. He views good and evil as a binary, believing that they exist as a dichotomy within him, and this is exemplified by the black and white imagery he's often depicted with. Referring to his negative emotions and thoughts as his “other side,” Alkaid separates his good, ideal self from the side he believes he must suppress. 

Ironically, this demarcation between the parts of him that are acceptable and the parts that are not inevitably exacerbates Alkaid’s fears. The more people like his outward persona, the more he worries that they will scorn his true nature. He believes that other people like him for what he seems to be, but that they will not like him for who he actually is. He is deceitful, dangerous, disappointing, do they not see that? Do they not realise that the true him is not worthy of such praise or adoration?

The answer is no, because Alkaid is far harsher on himself than he deserves. He is human, and he is allowed to be multifaceted, to have different sides to him, to feel emotions that are positive and negative and the full gamut that runs in between. He is not a dichotomous binary, but a complex being that exists beyond good and evil.

This is where MC comes in. She sees Alkaid for who he is – all the sides he does not show others, and all the selves in disparate worlds across space and time. Beyond the idea of soulmates, her connection with him is that of 知己 (zhī jǐ) – to know someone as you know yourself – in how deeply and thoroughly she understands him. She perceives him, down to the depths of his soul, and she says: I love you, still. Not despite his flaws, or regardless of his shortcomings. Rather, it is an acceptance, encompassing every fibre of his being. I love you for everything you are.

There’s a line from Tian Guan Ci Fu (天官赐福; Heaven Official’s Blessings) that resonates with this idea: 对我来说，风光无限的是你，跌落尘埃的也是你。重点是'你'，而不是'怎样'的你。”To me, the one basking in infinite glory is you, and the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is ‘you,’ not the state of you.” Alkaid strives to only show his best sides to others, but MC embraces all his worst sides just as readily. He is terrified that she will leave when she realises he’s not like the person she initially thought she loved, but she stays because she sees all of him and cherishes him through it all. She loves him, because he loves so deeply, and he deserves to be loved in return.

So, happy birthday, Alkaid – you are worthy of the love you receive.

[mecachrome]

if you ever wanted to talk about your view of them and their dynamic and what makes them interesting to you? i'd be down to read that 👀

hlksdfhh jasmine i completely forgot about this after hungary... why does Everything Happen So Much 😭

anyway i would love to discuss the joys of 2381!!! admittedly 50% of this is just my 2-pick shipping (which i am wont to do 😔) but i really do find their dynamic/potential dynamic sooo interesting... the gist of it is basically that alex and oscar are very similar people but in a way where it doesn't actually allow them to mesh that well if that makes sense? which is what makes them fun to me LOL 🧡💙

like the way i see oscar's character at a glance is that he has a very strong sense of self but in most cases lacks a desire to rock the boat or overexert himself without good reason to (all actions must be done toward a Tangible Benefit !), so he's good at carefully balancing being an assertive speaker in a very casual, imperturbed manner + being just charming enough despite not being naturally drawn to or really even enjoying social spaces. i've talked at length about the empathy/sympathy split and how in a lot of ways his character is kind a mirror of lando's, or how basically oscar = extroverted thinking / introverted feeling and lando = extroverted feeling / introverted thinking. imo oscar isn't afraid of communication, he's just very careful and diplomatic in public situations and knows exactly how much of himself he's willing to "give" up to an audience, even when he comes off as a little reserved or awkward... i think people often boil oscar down to just being the Mature Intelligent Introverted Listener and lando to being the Reckless Clueless Extroverted Yapper even though they actually possess very similar baseline mentalities; where they primarily differ is just in conversational processing styles and how they choose to communicate meaning/intent.

but anyway. alex meanwhile is clearly SUCH a fascinating and deeply charismatic person who is also very introspective and has gone through a lot of hardship to attain the shrewdness he exhibits today, and although his story is quite different to oscar's and i do think he has more of an extroverted persona than him you can see that they interact with people from a very similar perspective + act in that same deliberate & controlled manner. instead of doing what looks/feels right, oscar and alex are the type of person who operates on the True Belief that their actions are correct, that they've thought through their decisions carefully and are taking the most informed risk possible in every situation; imo they have a very strong need for control in their lives but camouflage it with their desire to come off as ~subtle and effortless~ in presentation lol. like it's not that oscar doesn't swear in the car, he just thinks it's cringe to turn on the radio and broadcast it, etc. etc. so he and oscar are relatively "simple" people but also very deep thinkers who are quite sharp and witty and er... at the end of the day occasionally Judgmental Assholes. hlskdhflh that's why i call them insincere4insincere 🧡🧡🧡

Like when you look at the way oscar talks about guys like dr3, it's clear he's fascinated by their personalities and enjoys them as people but at the same time also feels a sort of... i call it "sociological fascination" LMFAO but in short there's a sense of detachment where he's content to simply observe these Conventional Social Patterns but the thought of actually living that way or thinking and acting that way gives him a headache. he'll be like "this is something dannyric would do/say... but Not Me 😅" and ofc it's meant as a compliment and not at all judgmental but at the same time it's very much implied that >These people live in another world and I live in mine. and he's comfortable and clear about delineating what that world is LOL

anyway i'd argue alex is quite similar, because if you watch his high performance interview there's this bit where he talks about how his self-awareness is simultaneously his biggest strength and weakness— which is such an alex thing to discuss... he's soooo frank and vulnerable in a way very few athletes are willing to be but it always comes from a place of very careful admittance, lessons that can only be imparted with enough distance established to the hardship that created them in the first place @__@ wah — and then is like wow it's So interesting how some guys are literally just no thots head empty ! like verbatim he says he's "intrigued" by their "blissful unawareness" which krills me because mentality is such a tricky thing to discuss in motorsport and sports in general, but alex being like ~i know i'm not like most athletes~ (#notliketheothergirls) but also I'm Capable Of Thinking And Using My Brain... for better or for worse... is so freaking funny to me.

tl;dr: alex and oscar basically just think other people are A Little Bit Stupid. which is very budding pundit/future color commentator à la jb22, just guys who are able to break things down and think things through and talk about them eloquently and therefore believe that Everyone Else Except Them Is A Bit Of An Idiot. and most importantly they enjoy being that person in a one-on-one dynamic; they thrive off being the one who gets to be the smart guy and know things and correct people pedantically and kickstart teasing banter and get the last word in. and because they're so often surrounded by specific athlete types who complement their know-it-allness, it works most of the time — like a lot of why landoscar are comaptible is that the gaps in lando's communication are filled by oscar and vice versa, i.e. they're both willing to do the work the other isn't — so when you look at 234's dynamic it's kind of like... "Why are we the same person and What are we supposed to do about it." and since they're both naturally "polite" characters it's not necessarily awkward or anything but it is kind of like. idk the vibe is just so interesting HLSDFHKH. it makes too much sense to the point that it kind of just circles back to not working 😭

like they're both good speakers but hate doing contentTM and don't like being taken too seriously (or actually don't like coming off as taking themselves too seriously), even though they're also very frank and straightforward and able to speak about themselves and their mentalities with overwhelming clarity. and ofc they're not exactly the same person but when you look at how alex talks about himself, how he's grown in confidence over time and had to rely on purely himself for sooo much of his career, it's super interesting contrasted with oscar being such an entj who clearly values his autonomy, likes to know how everything functions around him and understand the fundamentals of everything he does or tries, and likes believing he's achieving something through objective and empirical methodology — i.e. an "overthinker" but more so one caught up in the facts and technicalities rather than in emotions.

anyway so all their interax are just like >Ribbing each other about padel and random little moments here and there and they do make sense and have things in common but it's also kind of weird and unnerving on another level. they're both too assured in not getting "consumed by the narratives" around them and too unwilling to concede to the #cringe to ever really fundamentally Work... but that's what makes it fun ! insincere4insincere 😌

like when oscar says he's still "grounded" and you hear people talk about him being humble, what's most important to note is that his being humble or introverted doesn't come from shyness or a lack of self-belief, it comes from being secure enough in himself to not need his worth validated by other people... likekhklsdahflh so random but i find it kind of funny when people act like oscar worships mark because obviously he's very important to his life and career but 80% of the time when oscar talks about mark it's with a tone of like Yeah that's just my fuck ass old manager who couldn't even beat sebastian vettel (said lovingly but also a bit pityingly) also he doesn't even run the company by himself put some respect on the other people's names. anw that kind of groundedness, knowing where credit and criticism should be given and never going overboard in his assessment of a situation are all things alex had to learn to develop in himself after his red bull days.

ok what was i saying.

this literally means nothing idk if it even makes sense. but don't you think 23481 is so fascinating like the triangle of oscar somewhat following lando's career growing up > alex being lando's "hero" when he was younger and then alex and oscar are just there and alex doesn't really believe in that cringe shit (except for of course the spirit of valentino rossi at the foundation of all of this). LMFAO

also that's why it's so funny that during this get to know alex albon video he gave THREE answers that were the exact same as oscar's from his own interview in this series and every time it was brought up he was like Oh... Hm... and was kind of weirded out by it 😭 like he gave the same answer about choosing his own team + lewis singing, and then when he said he wanted to be an astronaut for a day and heard that it matched oscar he went: "Does it? Now I feel… I don’t want to be in a space shuttle with Oscar, so I’ll change mine. I’ll be a zookeeper, like in a sanctuary." like when ur no longer not like the other girls... 😔 freakmatched a little too hard

[icallhimjoey]

what about aftercare with joe after you've asked him to be a little rougher than usual?

okay it took me like 3 hours of talking to SEVERAL PEOPLE to think of a way to make this work for my lil soft baby joey and... i think i got it. So, i gotchu babe (also, tw: choking, blacking out) Wordcount: 1.8K

---

Promise Me Both Ways

"What the fuck, what the fuck, hey, wake up, wake up,"

You heard Joe's voice far away, barely even there. Everything was sort of... fuzzy. It felt like you were under water and you couldn't really feel your own weight. T'was nice. Blissful. A peaceful place void of issues, no negativity but just... warmth. And tingles.

You were completely unaware to Joe's panicked frantic hands that softly tapped against your cheeks before they curled around the back of your skull to tip it up a little, making sure you were breathing properly.

"Shit, shit, shit," Joe mumbled, his voice going up in pitch with every word and his limbs fumbling, slinging blankets back because they were all in the way, and nothing was really helping.

Joe knew this was a bad idea.

He should've never let you talk him into it. You'd been agitating him all night, really doing your best to piss him off properly and you hoped he wouldn't catch on. Would just get angry, all mad and frustrated. You knew a beautiful place for all that pent up energy to go.

But then he had caught on, and you'd been forced to talk about things. Like boring adults.

"What's gotten into you?" Joe couldn't help but chuckle slightly, and his face held a weird mix of confusion and annoyance as he smiled. It made you decide to just go ahead and tell him.

"Kind of like it when you're upset a little,"

"When I'm upset?"

"Mmhmm, makes you... I don't know, grab at me harder,"

Joe just looked at you, but you saw that curtain of lust slowly come down.

"Throw me around with a little less care," you continued, voice soft like velvet. "You know, when you bite at me? Yea, I like it when you do that,"

It took literal seconds for Joe to push you down into the mattress. And sure, Joe had heard you, and he tried to be rougher than he usually was. Smacked your ass a bit harder, squeezed at your flesh a bit more. But when you reached for his hand and placed it around your throat, he halted.

"Come on," you coaxed, all breathy with want. "Squeeze,"

Joe pushed his hand down, instantly closing off your windpipe and making you cough. He immediately pulled his hand away, afraid he'd done something wrong and had hurt you.

"No, baby, the sides. Here, look," you placed a hand over his and placed it back, feeding pressure over his finger tips on the sides of your neck. "Yea, yea, keep– keep pressing there,"

And Joe had done.

Joe had pressed his fingers there and had started moving again, and had pulled unearthly noises from you until you started feeling deliciously lightheaded. A little disorientated. It was a bit of a trip, but the power imbalance was weirdly hot. With your wits miles away, clear thinking left far behind, you egged it on. Unsafely so. But you wanted more of it. Needed more.

Joe noticed, was entirely unsure about it, but Jesus... look at you. He just needed to look to know he was doing something good. Joe had held you by the throat before, but had never been quite so deliberate about it. About blocking off the blood flow to your brain. He'd never dare to even think to do such a thing – not without your consent anyway.

But holy hell, you were into this, overtaken with thick and foggy desire. You growled at Joe to squeeze tighter. To speed up. To give you more. And Joe obliged, because oh my God, he could feel that you were about to come.

You demanded Joe to give you more, and more, and Joe gave you more, and more.

Until your eyes rolled back, and you blacked out.

Gone.

Joe had immediately stopped. And then, immediately panicked.

You were only out for a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime.

Joe's heart was racing, his thoughts going at a million miles an hour. It was quite literally the exact opposite of what you had going. Staring at the ceiling, you widened your eyes a few times. The room was swaying softy from side to side and you couldn't really focus. You felt dizzy, but divine, and then blinked your eyes until everything shot back into focus and the ringing in your ears was replaced by the sound of Joe freaking out.

Fuck. That was amazing.

Rocked to his core, Joe didn't know how to read your face. Were you okay? Did he take it too far? Was that even safe? Did either of you really know what you were doing? What you'd just done?

You were covered in a sort of cold layer of sweat, and you trembled a little, and fuck. Shit. This was Joe's doing and all he could feel inside was guilt and regret and worry.

"Are you all right? Tell me you're okay, I– water, you need some wate– sugar!" Joe scrambled out of the bed and ran to the kitchen.

"Baby, I'm fine," you tried, voice soft, but loud enough for Joe to hear. It wasn't enough to convince Joe.

He'd just choked his girlfriend until she passed out.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

He returned with a glass of water and a banana.

"I'm okay, I'm– that was– Joe, stop,"

Joe was quite literally about to force a chunk of banana into your mouth. You took hold of Joe's wrists with weak hands, and it just convinced Joe more that you very much weren't okay, despite what you were telling him.

"Please, have a bite. It'll make me feel better,"

With Joe hovering over you, you hesitated for a moment before you let him feed you. Joe carefully placed a small bit of broken off banana into your mouth with his index finger and his thumb, and you noticed he was trying his best to keep his hands steady. After, you let Joe assist you in sipping on some water. You saw how his eyes were trained on your throat as you swallowed.

"Joe, that was–"

"I'm so sorry,"

Oh my God, Joe was the fucking cutest person alive ever. You were about to say that you fucking loved every single second of what had just transpired.

"I'm fine. Really, I'm okay,"

Joe absolutely didn't buy it. He looked like a lost child, a little. Or one who just got caught doing something he didn't know was going to upset his parents. It was painfully endearing.

"Come here," you reached for Joe who instantly embraced you. "I'm all right, I promise I'm all right,"

You shifted and scooted until you were both comfortably lying down, arms around each other, Joe's face pressed into your neck where he nosed along your jaw and placed soft kisses onto soft skin.

For a short moment, it was silent.

Then suddenly, Joe released a pained breath he'd been holding in.

"Fuck, that really scared me,"

You hugged tighter.

"Are you sure you’re all right? Jesus Christ," Joe lined up his thumb over a particular spot to check. "That's, I'm so sorry, that's my literal thumb print,"

"Does it look bruised?"

"I don't know, it's definitely red, though,"

Joe trailed his finger over it lovingly, then, horrified, found more red marks on the other side of your neck and groaned. You couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt. Next time, we'll make sure to stop before–"

"Never make me do that again,"

Your face dropped and you moved slightly to be able to look Joe in the eye. His eyes shone with unshed tears, and it felt a little absurd to you.

"Baby," you chuckled nervously, little to no humour behind it, but hoping Joe would break and would laugh with you. "Are you all right?"

He didn't. Instead scrunched his brows up, and said, "This isn't funny," all cold and flat. "This is how people get brain damage, don't they?" He looked away for a moment, and when he made eye-contact again, his eyes were all glassy and it broke your heart a little.

All over a little choking, you thought.

"Joe, you're not going to cry over doing something I asked you to do,"

Your words didn't help at all, so you reached and caressed Joe's cheek with a hand which Joe immediately moved to press kisses into your palm. Upon the closing of his eyes, water escaped down his face and you laughed softly as you winced at the sight. "No, please, don't cry, I really loved it, I was– I was only out for a second, it's okay,"

You used a thumb to catch a tear.

"Please, don't cry,"

Joe sniffed before rubbing his reddened face, and you leant in to kiss him which Joe immediately accepted as a way of making up.

"I promise I'll never make you do that again," you whispered into his lips.

Delicate kisses quickly became concerningly not delicate until you pulled back and Joe mumbled some stupid things about needing to keep you safe.

You kind of wanted to tell him to shut up. You really were honestly fine. But it was clear Joe wasn't, so you let him ramble for a moment. Mumble words into your neck as he grasped to hug you tighter than he normally would.

"Turn around," you suddenly spoke up, and for a moment, Joe froze entirely.

"Come on, roll over,"

Your hands guided Joe to lay on his side where you turned him into the little spoon to your big spoon. Joe held onto the arms that you curled around his side and sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry," Joe then said again, but it was different that time.

"Me too," you replied, and felt Joe relax more into your embrace.

You pressed your cheek into Joe's shoulder and tensed your leg around his thigh and hoped Joe would feel encased with your loving care. Hoped he'd fall asleep feeling warm and reassured, all protected, without any regrets.

It worked.

"Joey," you said after a little while, voice more serious than before because you had something important to say. "Promise me something?"

"Mmhmm," Joe was close to sleep, seconds removed from drifting off.

"Don't just... don't just do things you don't feel comfortable with, just because you think I would like them, all right?"

Consent went both ways.

Joe moved a little and brought one of your hands up to his mouth to press a kiss to it. Then two hands worked to open your palm that he then placed onto his cheek to nuzzle into.

This man was adorable.

"Promise me," you said after you felt Joe smile.

"Okay, I promise." Joe croaked, voice heavy, but content.

You couldn't help but smile into his shoulder in response before you let sleep overtake you fully.

----

The Taglisted: 

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(taglist currently full, sorry)

[hephaestuscrew]

I want to talk about the significance of which characters defeats the different antagonists in the Wolf 359 finale: Kepler kills Rachel (and vice versa), Jacobi kills Riemann, Minkowski kills Cutter with the help of Lovelace, and Hera and Eiffel wipe Pryce's memories. As I'll argue below, none of those combinations are incidental.

Jacobi and Kepler each get to dispatch an adversary, but, since they've only recently and - perhaps reluctantly - aligned with our protagonists in their aims, they each deal with more minor antagonists. Rachel and Riemann are ultimately following orders rather than giving them, so their defeat - while important - doesn't have the same emotional weight as that of Pryce or Cutter. This is also why the confrontations with Riemann and Rachel each conclude significantly before the confrontations with Pryce and Cutter. (Cont. below cut)

I'd argue that Riemann is the least developed character in the show (of those that are voiced and appear in more than one episode). He's nothing more than a Goddard henchman, and that's deliberate. Jacobi’s investment in this fight is practical, rather than emotional. There's no personal antagonism between the two of them. And this works for Jacobi as a character - his job has always been to “make very big things blow up” and he's only recently started properly putting his own independent thought into who he wants to be blowing up. So Jacobi and Riemann face off against each other in a locked room, with a fistfight and then an explosion.

In contrast, Kepler and Rachel do have personal antagonism between them. It's clear that they have a history of professional dislike. In Kepler's backstory episode, Rachel clearly takes a great deal of glee in mocking Kepler about “Operation Gigantic, Humiliating Screw Up”, and Kepler certainly doesn't seem pleased to see Rachel when the Sol arrives at the Hephaestus in Ep55. Although there are obviously other motivations involved, their petty interpersonal hatred gives an interesting extra significance to them killing each other.

Another way to frame it is that Kepler and Rachel are two people at a similar middle-of-the-hierarchy level who've both been faced with a degree of undeniable evil even beyond what they've previously encountered from (and enacted on behalf of) their employer, and had to decide what they are willing to go along with. Their mutual killing of each other is the result of a conflict between two contrasting potential decisions in that situation. 

It's also notable that while the minor antagonists are each defeated by a single character on their own, the major villains could not have been defeated in this way. The two most significant confrontations in the finale each involve a pair of characters who care deeply about each other standing together against someone who has personally hurt them. 

After killing Cutter, Minkowski acknowledges she “couldn't... have done it... without you, Captain”. Similarly, the way Eiffel and Hera defeat Pryce required both Eiffel's sacrifice (it is important that wiping the mindspace is his idea) and Hera's abilities (it takes a lot of mental and emotional strength for her to enact that plan). The ethos of the show all comes back to that quote from Eiffel in Ep25 that needing help from others “is called being a part of a crew. You ever meet anyone that could get things done all on their lonesome?”

It's important that Hera confronts Pryce - she gets the chance to stand in defiance against a person who has caused her so much pain. Hera gets to assert herself as her own person against the first person not to treat her as one. While I certainly don't think anyone should feel responsible for confronting those who have personally hurt them in real life, it would have been narratively unsatisfying for Pryce to have been defeated without Hera playing a central role. That confrontation is necessary for catharsis and resolution of Hera's character arc. But it's important that Hera doesn't have to do it alone. It's important that she does it with Eiffel, the person she is closest to, by her side. And what's more, in that mindspace, he's by her side in a more literal direct way than he has ever has been before.

Terrifying as Pryce is, it's Cutter who has been our 'big bad' throughout the whole series, the one that we've been aware of since we became aware of larger sinister forces at work in this narrative. And so it's apt that he's defeated by Minkowski, the Commander, with the help of Lovelace. Our two protagonists who have at points been defined by their leadership positions defeat the villain who has been defined by his leadership over them. Our two Commanders defeat the person above them in the chain of Command. 

If Minkowski has a personal nemesis, it's Cutter (as I argued in my Minkowski harpoon essay). Now that Hilbert's gone, the same could probably be said of Lovelace. He's the one who recruited them (and their respective crews, assuming that he was involved in the recruitment of the other members of Lovelace's crew as well) into the hellscape that is the Hephaestus. He's the one basically all of their pain and turmoil ultimately comes back to.

Minkowski & Lovelace's confrontation against Cutter, and Hera & Eiffel's confrontation against Pryce, are both about the harm that's been done to them as individuals. And about the harm done or threatened to their loved ones (including the friend they each stand beside in this particular confrontation). And about their principles and themes around control, autonomy, personal agency, and identity. And about the desire to protect people in general on a larger, global or even galactic, scale.

And all of those resonances work particularly well because of the specific choices made about which protagonists should face off against which antagonists, in order to provide the most effective culmination of the character arcs that have been built over 61 episodes.

[ahummingbirdwitch]

OH MY GREAT HEAVENS your Cypher are so good,, I would love to request a fluffy Cypher x Reader fic, possibly one where he tries to DIY a gift for you (it ends up looking not as he expected)

Thank you sm anon!! Here ya go :)

Makeshift (Cypher x F!Reader)

Summary: Cypher DIYs a gift for your birthday. So sweet it’ll give you cavities.

Pairing: Cypher x F!Reader

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 944

Warnings: none

Notes: I had the same Reader character in mind from my usual Cypher fics but y’all are free to imagine anyone you like!

Your birthday was coming up, and your gift had to be perfect.

Cypher wasn’t one to brag, but he liked to consider himself the best gift-giver in Valorant. There was no competition, really. He had every agent’s passwords, to all their devices and accounts; he knew what kinds of sites they perused, what things they added to their carts while shopping online, so when birthdays and holidays came around, he was practically Santa Claus. It wasn’t a secret how he knew what his friends wanted, but they were all grateful nonetheless.

The ones he cared about, anyway. Sova got a lump of coal every Christmas.

You were no different. He knew pretty much everything you liked, all your favorite sites and items and things you were saving up for. He could easily just buy you the first thing on your wishlist or have your favorite meal delivered to HQ, but you weren’t just any agent to him, and this wasn’t just any birthday. You were his girlfriend, and this had to be special. You deserved something straight from the heart.

So, after much deliberation, he’d decided to make something himself.

He’d made plenty of gadgets in his life, all for work, but he’d never made anything of that nature for someone. Nothing meant to be a gift, anyway. He’d thought about making you something practical, like a hair dryer or an electric massage stick, but nothing seemed personal enough. You needed something sentimental.

You loved bears, so at last, he decided he’d make his first real robot: a little bear-shaped friend.

In all honesty, Cypher struggled to put it together. He was good with tech, that much was true, but his devices weren’t nearly as advanced as Killjoy’s. He’d thought about asking her for help more than once, but ultimately, he’d stuck to his work and pressed on alone. This was his gift to you, and he could do it himself. No challenge was too big.

The night before your birthday, it was finally finished. He wiped his forehead and took a step back, admiring his handiwork. It wasn’t as flashy as something Killjoy would’ve made, but that was okay. He’d done it all himself.

He just hoped you liked it.

^ ^ ^

“Alright,” Cypher said, guiding you towards your desk chair. “Sit down, and close your eyes, dear.”

“Ooh, is it time for my surprise?” you asked, giggling as you took a seat.

“Yes. Come on now, close them.”

“Okay.” You did as you were told.

Cypher removed the bear from its box, taking a deep breath before holding it out to you. “Okay. Open them.”

You obeyed. The second you saw the bear—a miniature version of your teddy bear in white and blue colors—your eyes nearly popped from your skull. “Aww, Amir!” you exclaimed, accepting it from him. “It’s my Teddy! But he’s little!”

Cypher’s face flushed under his mask. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” You were grinning from ear to ear. “I love it! He’s so cute!”

His heart warmed, fluttering with love and relief. “I was calling him Mini-Bear,” he said. “But you can call him whatever you like.” He took a step closer, taking the bear from you gently so he could feel around the back. “He… also speaks.”

He pressed a button, and his own voice came out of the bear: “I am always watching you, my dear.”

You stared in awe, looking absolutely delighted. “Oh my God. That’s so sweet!” You took the bear back from him. “You really made him all by yourself?”

Cypher chuckled. “Yes. It was… a bit tricky, I’ll admit. But I think he turned out okay.”

“He turned out great.” You hit the button again, beaming when another line came from the bear, also in Cypher’s voice: “Thinking of you, sokar.”

Cypher blushed. “Maybe don’t run through all of them right now…”

You gave him a cheeky grin, then hit the button again. “Sleep well, princess,” the bear said.

“Princess?” You smiled coyly. “I haven’t heard that one before.”

Cypher scratched the back of his neck. “It is… cheesy, I know. But the bear said it, not me!”

You laughed and hit the button again. “Goodnight, my dear,” the bear said. Suddenly, it began to stutter. “I—I love—love—love—”

Cypher froze, panicked. “Shit,” he muttered. He hurried to grab the bear from you. “I—oh no. Oh dear. I thought—I thought the voice box was stable.”

You looked up at him, eyes round, still smiling. “Hey, it’s okay! It just glitched for a sec.”

“No, no.” He looked over the bear, wanting to phase through the floor and disappear. “Shit. I can—fix that. It was—not supposed to do that.”

Especially not when he’d been in the middle of saying… that.

“Amir.” He felt your hands on his, and slowly, he allowed you to take the bear. “It’s okay, I promise. I love it.” You cradled Mini-Bear in your arms, blushing as you smiled down at it. “That line… were you saying what I… thought you were saying?”

Cypher looked at you, heart full. Embarrassed as he was, he could see as clear as day how happy you were, and relaxed. “Yes,” he murmured at last. “I have… been meaning to say it. For some time now.”

You got to your feet, leaving Mini-Bear in the chair before wrapping your arms around Cypher. “Thank you, Amir,” you whispered. “I love him. But I love you most.”

Hearing those sweet words from you made all of his work worthwhile, even if it hadn’t all turned out perfect. He held you closer, hugging you tightly as he closed his eyes, savoring the moment. “I love you too, sweetheart.”