#and also the way bucky says steve's name always gets to me in a way that i can't explain

[fru1t4fr0gs]

You and Me - Chapter 6

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: The battle in the airport begins.

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI: Violence, Vague descriptions of injuries, Fighting, Swearing, Reader is injured, Protective!Bucky, Like super protective, Tony Stark is reader's biological father (reader is still a fully grown adult, we make the timeline work because we are in charge), No use of y/n, Please let me know if I forgot anything

Author’s Note: Hope you guys like this chapter! We've got a little bit of everything here. Action, angst, banter, sappy lovey-dovey moments - you name it! Next chapter is gonna be all kinds of angsty, so get ready! As always, feedback is super appreciated!

-

You’re stationed inside the airport, Sam and Bucky sitting on either side of you. Your backs are pressed against the wall, facing away from the large windows so as not to be seen.

“I just want to let you guys know,” you say, tone casual as you keep your eyes on the screen lit up before you. Sharon managed to bring a few items of yours along with Steve’s shield and Sam’s suit, so one of your surveillance robots is projecting the argument outside onto a hologram at your watch, “that my serum makes me sense a lot of things, and the tension between you two is giving me a fucking migraine.”

You don’t have to look up to know that they’ve quickly stopped glaring at each other, or even that they both shoot you a guilty look. Your eyes are glued to the screen.

Tony sounds desperate. Angry. He tells Steve to turn Bucky in. He demands to talk to you.

And that’s the reason you’re in here, removed from it all while Redwing - one of your favourite creations - searches for the quinjet.

He’s not your dad. Dads drive you to soccer practice and teach you to ride a bike. You never had one of those, and that’s fine. You don’t need a dad. You never did.

But, despite it all, Tony Stark is still family. The rift between the two of you, after everything that’s happened since you admitted who you were to him, hurts. In so many ways, and in so many moments, he wants to be your dad, or at least something akin to it. In some ways, you’ve let him. You’ve worked through problems with him, built machines together, listened to Pepper put him in his place countless times. You communicate through quips and sarcasm, mostly, but you’ve also learned how to translate snarky comments into what they really mean.

And now he’s desperate to keep you from being taken out like the national threat you seem to have become, and you won’t even face him.

Sam and Bucky are looking at you.

“What’s the status on Redwing?” You ask, chest feeling tight.

“”Hey, are you-“

You interrupt Sam, and ask again through gritted teeth. “Status on Redwing. Please.”

Sam wisely drops the subject and clicks a button on his glasses, watching the surveillance. “Still looking.”

Bucky’s hand, cool and comforting, settles gently on your thigh. No pressure. Just there. You relax a little.

Redwing finds the quinjet, and it’s time to move.

You shut down the screen, and drag yourself to your feet.

-

“What the hell is that?”

“Everyone has a gimmick these days.”

The guy in the red suit bursts through the window, and you don’t have time to speak before shots of…something are being fired your way.

A piece of debris flies at you from behind, and you don’t have to look up to push Sam out of the way and duck low enough that it barely grazes the top of your head.

Red Suit Guy comes out of nowhere, and you manage to dodge a couple of shots of stuff before one of them hits your arm and attaches it to the wall behind you, locking you in place.

“No way, do you have the tingle?” He asks, and holy shit does his voice sound young.

“The what?”

“You know, the…nevermind.” You use the web on your arm to anchor you in place as you kick out, faster than a bullet, but he somehow manages to dodge it. You slam on your captured wrist, triggering your watch to burn through the…web, you guess, until your hand is free. You throw a punch, and he dodges it again. He throws one back, and it’s your turn to dodge.

“Oh wait! You’re Mr. Stark’s kid!” He shouts, making you furrow your brow as you come at him again. You don’t land a single blow. He’s quicker than you. “I’m sorry! I’m not supposed to hit you. I’m supposed to do this.”

More shots of the sticky stuff fire at you, and you’re knocked back against a wall and stuck to it once more.

“Are you making this stuff?” You ask, horror and disgust lacing your voice at the idea that the substance holding you to the wall is some kind of bodily fluid. “Why is it sticky?!”

“Huh? No! I mean, I make it, but it’s not like, coming out of me!”

Before you can respond or even process what the fuck that means, Bucky is there, jumping in front of you and throwing out his fist.

The guy catches the punch. He catches Bucky’s punch like it’s nothing, and exclaims something about his metal arm.

“I am supposed to hit you.” Red Suit Guy says, actually sounding apologetic. “Like, a lot. I’m sorry, Sir.”

Typical.

The rest of the fight goes by in a blur of punches and dodging what you can only call webs. At one point, you’re pretty sure a car is thrown.

When the guy is finally flown outside by Redwing, the three of you are stuck to the floor, exhausted.

“What do we do now? Cuddle?” You ask, still catching your breath.

“Gross.” Sam grumbles. You think you hear Bucky laugh.

-

You’re running at them. They’re running at you. And they’re not stopping.

You collide with Natasha first, dodging her punch and managing to knock her to the ground in one swift movement. You meet her look of surprise with a smile. “I know. Pretty cool, right?”

“Very.” She says, before catching your legs with hers and knocking you to the ground. Your back hits the pavement, and you make a noise between a grunt of pain and a gasp of surprise. “But fast doesn’t mean good technique.”

“Maybe you can show me some moves when this is all over.” You suggest lightly, jumping back to your feet just in time to dodge her next attack.

“I don’t see why not.” She manages to knock you down again, and you manage to catch sight of Bucky and T’Challa nearby. You reach for your belt, rolling out of Nat’s way just as Clint jumps in to help. The distraction frees you enough to pull out a small gun at your hip, and you fire it with perfect aim at the man in the catsuit.

The taser hits its mark, lighting him up blue as the wires wrap around him like a vice. He goes down, hard, and you can’t help but cringe at the sight.

Bucky is by your side in an instant, and your body creaks in protest as he helps you to your feet.

“You okay, doll?” He asks, eyes inspecting you for injuries even as he starts to pull you in the direction of the jet.

“I just tased a king.” You say miserably, boots thudding against the pavement as you break into a run.

“Good thing we’re already fugitives.” You shoot him a weak glare, no real fire behind it, and run faster.

-

Your back hits the wall of the jet, and your stomach drops as Steve takes off. Bucky is beside you in a heartbeat, smoothing the hair from your bruised face as you clutch at your side. This time, when he checks you for injuries, he finds them.

“Steve.” He calls behind him, and there’s panic in his voice. A lot of it. He’s pulling at your suit, hands frantic but gentle as he catches sight of the dark bruises already forming. You suck in a sharp breath, trying to bat his hands away, but he persists. “Don’t move, sweetheart. Don’t move.” He says, soft but shaky.

You have absolutely no idea how you made it into the hangar. You remember your legs burning with the effort to keep you moving, seeing the tower crumble and fall painfully slowly. You remember the ground shaking with impact, and Bucky knocking you out of the way. He must not have been fast enough, though, because the next thing you remember is wheezing on the ground, dragging yourself painfully to your feet as Natasha took down T’Challa.

Poor guy is going to be pretty sore with how many times he’s been electrocuted today.

“I’m fine.” You insist, pulling yourself up a little with a hiss of pain. “I heal fast now. Just never had a building fall on me before.” It’s probably a broken rib. Maybe two. Nothing permanent, and in a few hours you’ll probably be nothing more than a little bit sore.

You don’t realize your eyes have fallen closed until you feel Bucky’s fingers graze the scar on your stomach, having pulled your suit down and your tank top up to inspect the angry black and blue marks on your side. 

“I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.“ He’s murmuring, over and over, and you can hear his voice break.

“Buck. Hey, Bucky.” You reach up, cover his hand with your own. “Hey, I’m okay. I’m gonna be okay. Breathe, Sarge.”

He doesn’t look convinced. You pull him to you, press a kiss to his lips, and smooth his hair back. “I’m okay.” You repeat, your eyes meeting his with all of the earnestness in the world. “Seriously. It was just a little building.”

He frowns, and you regret the joke. “Not funny.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You say, pulling him down to sit beside you rather than kneel before you and continue to fuss.

He doesn’t leave your side, holding you like you might break once he finally stops checking you over for injuries. Eventually, you begin to drift off against his shoulder. The jet breaks through the clouds, and Bucky still doesn’t relax.

Right before you fall asleep, you think you hear him say that he isn’t worth all of this, his fingers ghosting gently over the scar at your side. Sleep’s hold on you is too strong, however, and you’re pulled under before you can wake up enough to hear the rest.

-

“You’re not coming.”

Your eyebrows fly up to your hairline. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You’re not coming. You’re still injured.” His tone is final, that of the commanding soldier. Sergeant Barnes. 

You prickle, already on edge from the feeling of impending danger waiting for you inside the bunker. “I’m sorry, last time I checked, you’re not exactly my superior officer.” You half growl, but his expression doesn’t waver. “Besides, I’m fine. I’m basically healed now.” That’s not entirely true. You’re still agonizingly sore, body aching as it heals at a frustratingly slow pace. But you can walk. You can shoot. Hell, you’re sure you can fight if need be.

He steps closer, eyes hard as they bore into yours. You don’t back down. “You’re staying on the jet, doll. End of discussion.”

“Don’t doll me right now.” You say, furious. “I’m going, Bucky. End of discussion.”

“Guys, we don’t exactly have time for this right now.” Steve says.

“My thoughts exactly. Let’s go.” You start to move off of the jet, but Bucky catches you before you can take a step. Even as he pulls you to him, he manages to expertly avoid every one of your still-healing bruises. You’d be impressed if you weren’t so irritated.

“I will tie you to that chair if I have to.” His voice is a near-growl in your ear, arms locked around you like a vice. You resist the urge to petulantly try to break free, knowing that doing so would be useless.

You push down your frustration. You know where he’s coming from. He’s scared and guilty, and you know he’s just as stubborn as you are. You don’t have time to argue, but there’s no way in hell they’re going to enter that bunker without you.

“I’m fine, Bucky.” You say firmly, and you feel his arms tighten around you in protest. “We’re all safer if we stick together, anyway.” You pull back, reaching up to cup his cheek and turn him to meet your eyes. “You and me, right?”

He sighs, leaning forward to touch his forehead to yours. You can sense his mind racing, still trying to find any way to convince you to stay and coming up empty.

“You stay behind me.” He finally says, shoulders relaxing a bit in defeat.

You nod, brushing your thumb over his cheek. He kisses you, firmly, and finally releases you.

“Ready?” Steve asks, looking between the two of you with a raised eyebrow.

“You should have seen him when I twisted my ankle a few months ago.” You joke, stepping off of the jet and into the snow. You hear Bucky grunt in warning behind you, reminding you that he’s still on the fence about forcing you back onto the quinjet.

“Behind me.” He says lowly you as you reach the door, and you roll your eyes as you take a step back.

“Yeah, yeah.” You grumble, checking your belt for your weapons as Steve move’s forward to pull the heavy door open.

And with that, you step inside the darkened bunker, preparing yourself to face whatever threat might be waiting.

Previous Chapter

Taglist: @vicmc624, @saucysasha2035, @iyskgd

[rillils]

thinking about how bucky always says steve’s name like it comes right from his soul.

thinking about the innocence of that one sweet syllable leaving his lips in kreischberg, when he’s strapped to a table and barely keeping his grasp on reality, and how he smiles when he says it,

“steve”,

tender on his breath, and how he sighs it again while steve gathers him up into his arms, like it’s a balm, like it’s all the solace he needed, like this is all it took to make his pain go away for a blissful moment.

thinking about how cautiously he keeps his distance from steve in his apartment in bucharest; how he tries to protect himself, protect them both, by acting like he doesn’t remember – and still he slips up and says,

“you’re steve,” soft and a little hoarse and all too intimate, like it was only yesterday that he last called steve’s name out loud. and then he tries to fix that by attaching “i read about you in a museum” at the end, but it’s too late, his heart has already spoken before his mouth could stop it, the cat’s out of the bag now and there’s no shoving it back in.

thinking about how he wakes up later, finally in charge of his own body again, sore and exhausted and confused, and steve’s name is the first word on his lips, again, always,

and it’s so raw and vulnerable and it sounds so much like “i’m sorry”, sorry i lied to you, sorry i’ve been away for so long, sorry i’m still a weapon they can use against you, and it sounds a little bit like surrender too, like he’s done denying how he feels, and you can see the relief in his smile when he finally admits that of course, of course he knows steve, he’s in the marrow of bucky’s bones, a hundred years of torture couldn’t sap him out of bucky’s system – and bucky knows that because they’ve tried, they’ve already tried and it didn’t stick.

how many times do you think he curled up in a corner of his cell, back when hydra was first breaking him, and whispered steve’s name over and over in the ice-cold silence, reaching for any feeble memory of steve’s face, his voice, before it slipped between his fingers again?

how many times do you think they dragged him out of his cryo chamber, soaked and trembling, and heard him murmur steve’s name before he was even fully awake?

bucky didn’t even realize he’d said it, or what the word even meant. all he knew was the sudden sting of a slap across his face, and vicious hands pushing him into the chair more brusquely than usual, and not even knowing why.

how many times do you think he rolled over on his lumpy mattress in bucharest, only half-awake, and mumbled steve’s name, hand seeking the warm body that was supposed to be there next to him, chasing the dream-like memory of blond hair tickling his nose in the morning, of cold toes pressed against his shins and a slim arm slung over his waist – just to wake up in the gray light of dawn and find that he was still alone?

how many nights did he spend in wakanda, lying alone in his bed, warmed only by steve’s voice on the phone promising him “soon”, “just a couple more weeks”, telling bucky how much he missed him? how much did his chest ache every time he murmured that final “goodnight, steve,” before they hung up, just so steve’s name would be the last word he said before he fell asleep?

but i like to think that there comes one morning, eventually, when bucky wakes up to an arm wrapped protectively around his waist, and two cold feet tucked between his ankles, and the inviting warmth of a body pressed snugly at his back.

he calls the name softly,

“steve?”

and the man curled around him stirs, snuffles against the meat of bucky’s shoulder, pressing a drowsy “mmmm?” into bucky’s skin.

bucky only realizes he’s smiling when he goes to turn his face into the pillow, happiness flowing fire-bright and golden in his veins.

“shh, sorry, sorry,” he shushes steve quietly, burrowing back into his embrace, as far as steve will let him. “go back to sleep, doll.”

[bruisedboys]

Aaaaand okay I swear I’m about to shut up but I know steve rogers is your bf and you’re slowly converting me so can I please request him with the prompt “you're blurring your words together, time for bed”? He’s just so. Bossy <3

HI MAEE omg I love you for this thank you!! also yep mhm I need him to boss me around. for science x join the celly!

steve rogers x fem!reader, 1.1k words

Steve comes home from his week-long mission bruised and exhausted, his chest aching for you. You’re all he wants after a week away. As much as he loves his team, you’re the only person he wants to see after spending seven days straight with Nat, Sam, and Bucky.

You’re not hard to find. He pushes the front door shut, and he’s shouldering his pack off when he hears footsteps from the hall.

“Steve?”

A second later you appear from around the corner, looking pretty as ever, clad in your flower-print pyjama pants and one of Steve’s old shirts. He grins.

“Hi, honey.”

You beam and throw yourself at him. Steve gets his arms around your waist and hugs you so hard he lifts you off the ground, your arms locked around his neck like a vice. He breathes you in — you smell amazing, the peach shampoo he bought you last week lingering in your hair, mingled with that soft lemony laundry powder you always use on your clothes. He’s so happy to see you he forgets to speak, until you fill the silence,

“I missed you so much,” you say into his neck.

Steve puts you down, grinning like a madman, hands greedy on your warm body. “I missed you too, sweetheart. Come on, let me see you.”

He steals his arm from around your waist and gets his hand on your jaw, encouraging you back. He holds you a few inches from his chest and leans away so he can look at you properly. You smile up at him, all sorts of pretty, your hair messy and your face all dewy like you’ve just washed it. He’s missed you so, so badly. He thumbs your cheek.

“How’d you get prettier while I was gone, hm?” Steve murmurs, and while he will admit to purposefully flirting, he totally means it. He imagined your face plenty of times while he was away, but it could never compare to how you look right now.

You flush. “Steve.”

Steve’s chest aches. He loves the way you say his name, all flustered like that. Egged on now, he doubles down. “Seriously, honey, it was only a week,” he says, feigning disbelief. “Can’t you give a guy a break?”

“Oh my god,” you mumble, and hide your face in his chest, hands screwed into the sides of his jacket.

Steve laughs, giddy with fondness. “Hey, that’s not fair. I haven’t seen you all week and now you’re hiding from me? Come out,” he says firmly.

You emerge then, still flustered, but your lovesick smile mirrors Steve’s own. Steve curves his arm tighter around your waist and dips down to kiss you on the mouth. You push up into the kiss like you were waiting for it, your lips warm and soft, tasting of mint. Steve, too eager and somehow still unaware of his strength, accidentally holds you so tight you’re forced up onto your tiptoes from the pressure of it. But you only hum against his mouth, content to be manhandled. Steve decides he’s never going on another mission again.

“I love you,” he murmurs against your lips.

When he pulls away, you’re flushed as ever.

“You’re unbelievable,” you say, but you make it sound like I love you, too.

Steve just grins. “Yeah, I know,” he says. “C’mon, let’s sit down and you can tell me about your week.”

He guides you to the living room, half carrying you. You’re clinging to his arm like a leech, seeming unwilling to let him go. Steve’s not complaining. He doesn’t want to let go either, not for a long time.

“Did you eat yet?” You ask him on the way to the couch.

Steve nods. “Yeah, babe. Ate on the way home.” He knew if he came home without having eaten, you’d insist on making him something, despite the late hour. Besides, Sam insisted on stopping for Mexican on the way back.

Steve sits on the couch and tugs you down with him. You end up sitting sideways in his lap, your knees bent up in front of your chest, looking like everything Steve’s ever wanted. He holds your waist and tries not to smother you right then and there. He wants to hear about your week, every detail.

“Tell me what you did this week,” he says, rubbing big circles into your back.

You smile at him, eyes crinkling at the corners, and press one hand to his chest. Steve’s heart thud thud thuds like it wants out. He’d let it jump right out and land in your hands, if he could.

“Okay,” you say. You push your hand up his shoulder to hold his neck. “So, after you left on Monday, I…”

You launch into an explanation of the week, sparing no details — you know by now that when Steve wants to hear about something, he wants to hear everything. Meanwhile Steve listens, half super eager to take in everything you’re saying, half mesmerised into a quiet lull by how lovely you look in his lap like this, your hand slowly trudging up into his hair as you talk.

You tell him about work, about how you went and looked at cats at the adoption shelter on Tuesday, about the new pasta recipe you made last night, and that there’s leftovers in the fridge if you want some, baby. He listens until you start to droop, your body slowly slumping into his chest.

“And then, yest’day I got the groceries,” you’re saying, your words slurring together at the ends like you’ve got a spoonful of honey in your mouth. “But they didn’t hav’any of that chocolate you like, Steve, so I went to th’store out by…by—“

You cut yourself off with a deep yawn, your shoulders rolling back languidly. Steve rubs your back.

“Honey,” he says, both amused and so, so fond.

You blink at him. “Hm?”

Steve gets his hand under your jaw and tilts you to look at him. You look like you’re doing a great deal to keep your eyes from falling shut. He pushes his hand down to your shoulder and thumbs your collarbone.

“You’re blurring your words together,” he tells you. “Time for bed?”

You frown. “Wasn’t finished,” you say, looking somewhat put out.

Steve laughs softly through his nose. You’re so cute he could eat you.

“S’okay. You can finish telling me tomorrow, yeah?” He strokes hair from your neck gently, his other hand pushing under your shirt to feel your warm skin. He spreads his hand over the small of your back. “You’re tired, babe.”

His touching seems to have the effect he hoped for — you practically melt in his lap, your shoulders going lax as you lean into him.

“Okay,” you say, compliant as putty in his hands.

Steve takes you to bed. He leaves you under the covers while he brushes his teeth and gets changed, assuming you’ll be asleep by the time he’s done. But when he slides into bed next to you, you reach for him.

“Missed you,” you murmur softly, pushing your arm across his chest in the dark.

Steve is so full of fondness he can barely get the words out, but he manages. “Missed you, too.”

[lostalioth]

𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞

→ premise: steve and bucky would follow you to the ends of the earth. one call of their names and they’re at your service. they’re obsessed, only problem is you aren’t theirs, not yet anyways.

→ pairing: roomates!stucky x fem!reader

→ warnings: smut | 18+, body worship, love marks [hickies, bites, etc], nicknames [baby, sweetie, sweets], mention of cheating [not reader or the boys]

→ a/n: kinktober 01

Living with two grown men may seem like an odd arrangement, but when those men would go to the ends of the earth to make you comfortable it wasn’t so bad. You’ve been living with Steve and Bucky for almost 2 years and it was amazing. You didn’t understand why they were always so caring and attentive to you, not that you were complaining but it had led to fights with your boyfriend John. He accused you of cheating on him with one if not both of them multiple times. Though you repeatedly denied it and said they have never even laid a hand on you in that way.

Although unbeknownst to you was how many times late into the night with soft footsteps Steve would sneak into Bucky's room or vice versa. The both of them worked up over all the depraved and dirty images of you and your hands on them flashing in their heads as they tried to sleep. Soft kisses to muffle their desperate moans against the others lips, hips pressed up against one another. A hand each wrapped around the other man's cock fisting it trying to get the thoughts of you to quiet down in their heads. Them pulling apart slowly in the end with swollen lips, cum covered chests and the odd unfulfillment of both men secretly wishing you were squeezed between them.

In the middle of a particularly nasty fight with your boyfriend about the same topic he let his own infidelity slip, admitting he cheated on you.

“Well, I'm glad I cheated on you, it only makes us fair if you’re going around screwing and whoring yourself out for your roommates” His words replayed in your head even now as you sluggishly pushed your way inside your apartment.

The front door slamming shut and your muffled sniffles and cries have Steve and Bucky jumping up on their feet before you even make it fully inside.

”Hey hey sweetie what happened” Steve coos as he lightly tries wiping away your tears with the sleeve of his shirt though more and more just kept pouring from your eyes. Steve was to your right and Bucky to your left, they often crowarded your space but an odd comfort and sense of security came with it, especially now. In an attempt to explain you let out broken words cut off with cries and sniffles that sound like gibberish to the boys.

“Let's sit down, sweets okay?” Bucky questions softly and hesitantly as they both lead you with a hand hovering over your back towards the large couch In the living room. Nodding and dragging your feet you let them guide you, finally sitting and taking a moment to compose yourself. You steal a glance either side of you at your wonderful roommates, only making a larger pit grow in your stomach. You were upset but more than anything worried about their reactions.

With a deep breath in you finally start explaining what happened.

“John and I had a fight again… about the same thing as always him saying i had to be cheating on him with one of you, he even accused me of sleeping with both of you” you scoff softly recalling his vile tone with his accusation. Wordlessly you watch the boys exchange an unreadable glance at one another before they return their eyes to you. “What about this fight made you cry?” Steve questions. You hadn't cried ever after a fight about this with him, only complained. They watched as tears brimmed in your eyes again, Steve's hands were fidgeting in his lap, itching to touch you. He wanted to comfort you but it felt wrong to touch you when talking about you fighting with your boyfriend specially over them. Bucky silently mulling over the information encouraging you to go on with a soft nod, while also trying to refrain from touching you no matter how bad he felt the urge to.

“And he blurted out how he's glad he also cheated on me so that makes us fair..” your tears finally spill over and hit your thighs soaking your jeans a bit as you put your head down, bracing yourself for their reactions mostly Buckys. He was known to be a little hot headed especially when it came to you being hurt. You can feel both men fuming each side of you, Steve suddenly now reaching out and rubbing up and down your thigh. Pushing away his anger at your boyfriend as much as he can, he pushes your face up softly with his fingers so you look at him. “He doesnt deserve you if that's the way he thinks” you could hear the hatred for the man behind Steve's words though he tried to hide it.

“Oh he’s a fuckin’ dead man” Bucky fumes and in a flash is up off the couch, fists balled at his sides ready to wring your boyfriends neck. Lunging forward across Steve's lap to grab Bucky's hand and stop his stampede you pull at him so he looks at you. “No please dont, just stay here with me.. we broke up anyway” your voice comes out soft and a bit wobbly still near the end as it was full of desperation. Though the emotion was mostly for the fact you wanted to just be comforted by them both. You miss the way their eyes light up and glance at each other when the words ‘break up’ register in their heads. When Bucky still hasn't moved though now it's more from shock you turn your head to face Steve. You hadn't realized how close your faces were but give him a pleading look with your eyes asking for his help.

Both of the boys feel as though their hearts are gonna burst out of their chests and they’d be okay with it if they died like this. Your soft hand in Bucky’s pulling him still towards you, fingers slowly intertwining with his rough ones. The warmth from your hand seeping into his usually cold one. Your body draped across Steve's lap and your face inches away from his, your eyes glued to his. The smell of your perfume surrounding him, the scent making his head go foggy.

The blonde shallows thickly before finally finding his voice, “You want us both to stay and comfort you?” He questions and even tests the waters by letting his hand drift to your lower back. You nod in the direction of both of them, watching slowly as Bucky's tense shoulders relax and he turns his body to face you.

Moving slowly as if he were trying not to spook you like a deer, he bends down and softly grabs ahold of your face so you're looking right in his eyes.

“He didn’t fucking deserve you never did, not like we do..” Bucky's anger was still clearly a bit prevalent, he couldn’t believe the asshole would cheat when he had you. He didn’t mean to slip up at the end, yet there was the underlying satisfaction of the fact that you were nearly all theirs now.

You thought your heart was gonna beat out of your chest now and Steve was ready to smack his roommate upside the head for letting both their feelings for you come out. “What buck meant to say-” you cut him off in the middle. “Show me what I deserve..” you say with determination while looking into bucky's eyes though it’s aimed equally at both men. They’re both frozen for a moment looking at you in shock, if this was some weird shared wet dream they don't ever wanna wake up. After a grumbled ‘fuck it’ leaving the brunette’s mouth breaks the silence, he surges forward crashing his lips against yours. A squeal leaving your mouth morphs into a soft hum of appreciation. Heat floods your whole body and down your core at the prolonged intense kiss.

You’ve never been kissed with this much love and excitement in your life, it sends your head spinning when you pull away. A smirk blooms on his face as he takes in both yours and Steve's love-struck and frozen expressions. Taking the reins, Bucky softly moves your face over to face your roommate once again and takes one hand off your face to plant on the back of the other man's neck. “How about you give Stevie some lovin’ huh baby?” He directed softly only making your head spin more and giving Steve flashbacks of Buck guiding him on how to please him. You could feel him getting hard under you as your body was still pressed against his lap, the feeling giving you a confidence boost. That coupled with a small nudge from the brunette's hands on the both of you, your lips crash together.

The feeling snapping Steve out of his frozen state as he lets out a choked whine, kissing you felt better than he could've ever imagined and he had multiple nights. Grabbing a hold of your body he lifts you up and onto his lap, only breaking the kiss for a second. His lips return to yours as his hands now finally allowed to roam your body. Running up and down your thighs, pushing up at the bottom of your shirt, rubbing down your back. “We’ll show you just how much you deserve to be appreciated sweetie, gladly” he groans against your lips.

“Please~” you whine into the kiss and lightly grind your hips against his. You hadn't noticed Bucky's hands leaving your body until they returned rubbing at your neck and down your arms as he was moving to sit on the coffee table in front of the couch, your back facing him. His knee slots under you and between the other man's thighs, supporting your body on their legs. His hands help Steve’s along in removing your shirt, kissing down your spine softly. “Wanna mark you up so bad sweets make you ours, shoulda always been ours” Buck mouths against your back and sucks leaving a trail of hickies down your spine as he runs his hands down your thighs and over the blondes wasit.

You pull away from the kiss, your eyes glazing over in lust as you take in Steve's swollen lips and flushed face. “Mark me please, more both of you” you whine out greedily as Bucky grabs onto your chin manipulating your face so your head is turned to face him and kisses you feverishly again. The boys work in perfect tandem and sync to strip you of your pants as well as maneuver around so now you are on your back pressed against the soft suddenly not nearly large enough couch and Steve is nestled between your thighs. Bucky is crouched down by your face and chest next to the couch.

Steve hands have a bruising grip on your hips as he lifts them so your legs are propped up on his muscular thighs. “God he’s such an idiot, how could he cheat when he had all this? Huh? God we wanted you so bad baby you have no idea” he rambles out as his hands worship and rub at your hips and thighs and even down your legs. “Wanted to feel these hips and thighs wrapped around my head so bad, thought about it every night fuck” he groans. “We both thought such dirty things about our pretty little roomate baby” Buck chimes in from beside you.

You were certain your panties were ruined by now, soaked with your slick, your clit throbbing in desperation for even just one of them to give attention to it. Your hips buck up in response to his words and his hands. Bucky’s hands were palming at your tits and rubbing your arms as he marked up your neck and chest. Reaching under you he unclasps your bra, pulling the one strap down to reveal your breast closest to him, he starts to lick and suck on your nipple. “Fantasized about these fuckin’ pretty tits in my face as you’d ride me sweets” he moans agianst your chest as his one hand gropes the neglected tit. “Mmm fuck~” you gasp out in response to their words and when steve bites down on the plush and senstive skin of your inner thigh. You were almost entirely naked and their large heater bodies pressed against your exposed skin fought off any type of breeze in the room. Your body felt on fire, from the two sets of roaming hands and the two desperate mouths marking and exploring your body, worshiping every inch. Whines and moans coming from all three of you filled the apartment.

By now there was hardly any un-bruised skin, hickies littered your chest and back from Bucky, bite marks and hickies covered your stomach and thighs from Steve and you swore you had fingertip sized bruises from their grip on you. They didn't wanna let go, they held onto you the whole time both too afraid that if they did the moment would end. The boys wanted to spend hours like this if you'd let them.

You were theirs now whether you really knew it or not and they were never gonna stop showing you the appreciation you deserve and they were far from done.

→ a/n: happy first day of kinktober my loves!! this one got away from me a bit, not every day will be over 1,000 words but this one was lol. also sorry to any johns i just picked a random name lol. this also was not proofread to well as i rushed to get it up.

[imtryingbuck]

My Saviour

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Buckys just received some news from the love of his life.

Word count: 6,269

Warnings: angst. fluff. suicidal thoughts. Bucky’s past mentioned. insecurities. scars mentioned. Bucky being madly in love. reader being an angel. past cheating and domestic abuse. pregnancy (it’s me im sorry) me not knowing anything about courts/sentencing.

Translation: ты мой спаситель - you’re my saviour (if wrong take it up with google translation)

Masterlist

Bucky wished Steve was still around so he could talk to him about things. He wish that his best friend was still there to see the progress he was slowly making. Wished to know if his best friend was proud of him.

But most importantly he wished Steve chose to stay with him and Sam so he could have met the person who brought him back to life, who brought his long existence actual meaning other than jumping from fight to fight. He knew Steve would have loved her and probably would have thanked her for everything.

But sadly Steve went to live a different life without him so he had to deal with Sam all alone.

For a year after Steve left Bucky struggled to go out, he struggled to find his path in a world that he wasn’t suppose to be apart of. He should have died that day when he fell from the train.

His therapist tried to get him to go out into the world and meet people, Bucky would say ‘next time’ until Dr Raynor eventually gave up on trying.

For a whole year Bucky moved with the motion, just existing, alive and breathing but just barely holding on to that invisible thread.

That was until six years ago. Six years ago everything changed.

** six years ago **

“Buck please-“

“Don’t call me that! How many times do I have to tell you”

“Oh I’m sorry Sir Bucky! But like I said please just come with me? It would do you some good to get out of your apartment, wait Bucky are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m listening. I do get out-“

“To see your therapist and that’s it”

“I’m still going out aren’t I?” Bucky responds snappily, rolling his eyes as Sam groans through the speaker.

“Please Bucky, it’s just coffee!”

“God sake, okay. I’ll be there. Bye” He really didn’t want to go out and get a coffee with Sam but he ended agreeing knowing that he would not have stopped, probably even going as far as coming to his apartment just to drag him out of there. Since Steve left, poor Bucky had been left all alone on with Sam, okay it wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be but still he had been left with a man that annoyed him more than anything.

Groaning inwardly he slides his phone into his jeans front pocket before shoving his gloved hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, as he walked down the street he kept his head down so he didn’t make eye contact with anyone walking by. It was safer that way. For him and those around him.

“James Barnes” he spoke roughly to the receptionist who made a habit of always pushing her chest out so he could get an eye full of her cleavage.

“Take a seat” she responds batting her eyelashes with her chest pushed out. He thought after the tenth time of him rolling his eyes at her not so subtle attempt at flirting she would get the hint.

He was not interested.

“S-sorry is this seat taken?” A soft timid voice from a woman pulled Bucky out of his staring competition he was having with the fake plant by the water dispenser.

“Huh?”

“Is-is anyone sitting here?”

“No. No you can sit”

“T-thank you” Bucky smiled and nodded softly instantly curious as to why she was also seeing a therapist. Bucky found himself getting lost in the smell of her perfume, the sweet smell creeping up his nostrils and into his senses. His eyes focused on the slow motion of her leg closest to his bouncing in time with the ticking of the clock.

“S-sir?”

“Huh? Yeah?”

“A-are you um are you J-James Barnes?”

Great just great. She knows who he is and from the way she stutters his name she clearly knows what he’s done and is scared of him. “Yes that’s me” he finally answers.

“Y-your names b-been called sir” she points over to where the receptionist is and sees her waiting for him to follow her down the hallway to Dr Raynors office.

Oh. Oh okay he got it wrong. “Oh, thank you”

“Y-your welcome sir”

Bucky offers her a small smile that she responds with the same and follows Lila down the corridor. He has no idea that the small smile he gave her meant a great deal to her. Nor does he know that she talks about him to her therapist that was two doors down from his.

Neither one realises that one small smile would make such a massive impact on their lives.

Over the course of four months, twice a week Bucky would see the woman whose name he had yet to know, every time they sat patiently in the waiting room they would find themselves sitting next to each other. Always quietly asking if the seat next to them was taken. Even if there were other available seats.

Dr Raynor had quite enjoyed hearing about the woman who seemed to have taken residence in Bucky’s mind. And Dr Harlow was proud of hearing that her patient was seeing someone new. She laughed when her patient blushed and began stumbling over her words that she was not seeing this man in that sense.

Bucky walked in to the waiting room expecting to find the woman whose presence he had become content being around only to frown at seeing the two seats that became unofficially theirs empty. The whole time he waited for her but she never showed. His name was called, as he followed Lila he kept turning his head back to the double doors in hopes that he would catch a glimpse of her. Walking into the room he frowned at seeing Dr Raynor and another woman sitting down. This was new.

“James, this is Dr Harlow.”

“Hi?”

“Hello James”

“What’s wrong? I didn’t do-“

“No, no James it’s… well you know the woman you’ve been telling me about?” Raynor cuts him off and waits for him to nod “well Dr Harlow is her therapist, Y/n was rushed in to the hospital early hours this morning-“

“Y/n? That’s her name? Wait… what happened to her? Is she okay? Where is-“

“James, she’s okay. We can’t disclose anything about what happened but-well you see Y/n has been talking about you in her sessions, nothing bad don’t worry, and you’ve been talking about her so we agreed that we should let you know”

Bucky sat there staring at his doctor as his mind raced with questions. She was in the hospital? Her name suited her perfectly. Why was she in the hospital? Who hurt her? She talked about him? ‘Nothing bad’ the good doctor stressed. Is she okay? “James?”

“Yeah erm, are you sure she’s okay?”

“Yes. We, well we talked to each other” Raynor points at between herself and Dr Harlow “and we think it would be a great opportunity for you to talk to her, maybe offer her some support-“

“Why me? Aren’t you two the therapists?”

“Yes we are but James I don’t think you realise how much those smiles and a few quiet words mean to Y/n. Nor she with you, now in my opinion I think it would be nice if the pair of you had someone to lean on when you don’t have a session.”

Thinking it over for a few minutes he nodded and agreed. Dr Harlow said Y/n had mentioned that she felt safe with him which made his heart race faster than usual at hearing that a complete stranger felt safe around him when he was so use to it being different. No one felt safe around him, hell he didn’t even feel safe with himself but yet she did. Not even ten seconds after the door closed behind Dr Harlow did Bucky start questioning his doctor about what had happened or where she was so he could go and see her, he just wanted to make sure she was fine but Raynor held strong and didn’t back down from the harsh glare he was sending towards her. She never did though to be honest.

Ten minutes later Dr Raynor thought it was best to cut their session short, though promised him that she would make out that they did the full hour.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks it had been since he was told that she was in the hospital and he hadn’t seen her. That day he thought it wouldn’t be any different to the other days where he expected to see her, until he turned his back on Lila who thankfully now took the hint that he wasn’t interested in her. His eyes squinted at seeing someone sitting in their seats.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked quietly, hoping that the woman in front of him would raise her head and smile as she said ‘no you can sit’. And when she did. Well… let’s just say that what he wanted to do to whoever had caused such pain and suffering to his Y/n he wouldn’t have pinned it on the Winter Soldier. No because Bucky Barnes would have happily admitted to shedding blood that wasn’t his own. Happily and proudly.

“N-no you can sit” she responds with that smile he sees when he closes his eyes at night.

“Doll-“ Lila cuts him off by calling his name signalling that it was his time, he nods at her then faces Y/n. “After your session I’m going to be waiting right here okay, and I want to take you for a coffee.”

“O-okay” Y/n says with a shy smile. Bucky smiles back before going up to Lila, eyebrows burrowing when she doesn’t lead him down the corridor. And that’s when it finally hits him. He had never seen her doing that to any of the other patients.

He tells Dr Raynor that Y/n was back, told her the bruises that littered her beautiful face, told her what he had said to her and her response. “Go easy on her James, don’t try and rush her into telling you all of her secrets okay” but in the same breath suggests a nice place for him to take her.

Forty five minutes after his appointment had ended he was now sat a cross the table from Y/n with a black coffee in front of him and a hot chocolate in front of her.

“You know what I’m going to ask you don’t you?” He says with a gentle smile, she nods. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fi-fine now sir”

“Bucky, call me Bucky. How long was you in the hospital for?”

“A few d-days, Dr Harlow told me that she told you what happened”

“Not exactly they just said that you was in the hospital, wanted me to know since you talk about me all the time” winking at her when she blushed.

“I-I d-don’t”

“All the time they said, said that your obsessed with me”

“Well y-you talk a-about me too!”

“Me? Never!” Bucky was ninety nine point nine percent sure that he had died right there and then and went to heaven when she laughed. He was sure of it. Her laugh could only described as angelic. God he wanted to hear it again and again until he dying breath.

“I-it was my ex” she whispered. She wasn’t stupid she knew what he wanted to ask.

“Where is he now?”

“Jail still, h-have to go court in-in two weeks. My lawyer said h-he’ll be going to prison for a long time, he broke the protection order an-and well this” she said gesturing to her face.

“You had a protection order against him?”

“Yes, throughout our relationship he was abusive the o-only way I managed to get out was because he had been cheating on me with a friend of mine, he left me a-and I was so happy because it meant that I didn’t have to suffer no more but the friend didn’t want him anymore because the fun of sneaking around had gone”. Taking a deep breath before sipping on her hot chocolate she continued. “He broke into my apartment and attacked me because I said no to taking him back, police was called by my neighbour and I got the restraining order against him because I could do that then, he went to prison and h-he got out three weeks ago, he broke into my apartment again and did this b-but the police arrived quickly as I already rang them”

“Doll… I’m so sorry”

“It’s okay. I’m okay now”

“It’s not okay Y/n”

“It is what it is, he’ll be going to prison for a long time and I’ll be able to live my life again.” She smiled.

“W-when is it that you have to go to court?”

“In two weeks, why?”

“Can I come with you? To offer my support” With her lack of response he knew he overstepped. Of course she isn’t going to want the former Winter Soldier to come with her to face another monster in her life. He’s about to apologise until she smiles once more and nods.

“I would really like that. Thank you Bucky” Bucky smiled and nodded.

Their second cup of hot drinks had slowly grown cold as the conversation flowed effortlessly between the pair. Bucky loved the way she no longer stuttered or stumbled over her words the longer they spoke. She was about to say something when a bang from the window startled the pair of them.

“Great.” He muttered.

“D-do you know him?”

“Who the crazy guy with his face squashed up against the window? Unfortunately” Y/n giggled at his words then looked at the man who did in fact have his face squashed up against the window, his eyes moving back and forth between herself and Bucky. Waving shyly at the man who waved excitedly back Bucky rolled his eyes. “You do realise you’ve just basically invited him in, don’t you? Oh see now he’s entering.”

“Stop being mean”

“Didn’t expect to see you here Barnes. Hi I’m Sam, Bucky’s best friend in the whole world”

“Hi Sam, I’m Y/n” she shakes his hand and smiles at Bucky who sits there rolling his eyes for the umpteenth time.

“Scoot over then Bucky. So how did you two meet?”

Bucky looked at Y/n to see if she was comfortable with letting him know, she just smiled. “We met in therapy”

“Oh, are you a therapist?”

“No, no I’m a patient”

“Does it help?”

“Sam!”

“What? I’m just asking”

Giggling at the two men “it’s fine Bucky, it has been helping. My therapist is really nice and understanding”

“That’s great. So did you two meet from group therapy or?”

“No we actually sat next to each other in the waiting room”

“Aw that’s so cute!” Sam winks at her whilst Bucky grumbled under his breath.

Sam ends up convincing Bucky and Y/n in getting something to eat not that he puts up to much of a fight as both of them were hungry themselves. Once again conversation flows effortlessly, even Bucky joined in with the laughter.

After food was eaten and an argument between the three about who was going to pay - Y/n winning when the two men were still arguing over the bill - they walked her all the way to her apartment. Bucky’s heart clenched painfully seeing her front door with dried blood on it. Sam noticed too and smiled sadly at his friend.

Two whole weeks passed, in those two weeks Sam kept “bumping” into the pair, the three of them would walk around talking about their lives, both of the men noticing that she was very vague about her life but neither one pushed her into saying more.

Today was the day where Y/n was going to court, as she stood outside she checked her watch worrying that Bucky wasn’t going to show up, not like he needed to he didn’t owe her anything anyway. She turned around to head up the many steps when her names called, turning she sees Bucky running over towards her. Sam following closely behind.

“Hey, hi, sorry we’re late I tried to shake this one off but he’s persist-“

“No it’s okay, I-I really appreciate the pair of you coming today. It means so much”

“You’re welcome sunshine, you’ve got our support” Sam smiles wrapping his arms around her squeezing slightly.

“Y/n? We need to go in” her lawyer says from the large brown double doors.

Sam nods to the pair and heads up the steps, Bucky smiled “me and Sam are here for you, it’s going to be okay”

“I’m scared about seeing him again b-but I-I can do it” Bucky’s hand reached out to hers that shook.

“I’ve got you, I promise”

“T-th-thank you Bucky”

Hand in hand they head up to where Sam was waiting patiently and followed the lawyers lead into the courtroom. Bucky’s knee wouldn’t stop bouncing from anger as Y/n bravely stood in the witness stand and gave her statement, hearing all the things that the bastard did to her made him want to attack him. Sam knew what was going through his friends head, honestly? He wasn’t going to be far behind him.

Three hours later her ex received a ten year sentence. Bucky watched as her body relaxes by hearing the judges words. He and Sam smiles at her when she turns around, her eyes moving along the rows to find where they sat, smiling as soon as she lands on them.

After leaving the courthouse Bucky took her hand in his again and the three of them went to the restaurant that Sam had suggested, in a way to celebrate Y/n’s new found freedom. Neither one of the men mentioned about what they heard or the photos they saw in the courtroom, other than telling her that they were proud of her bravery.

Six months had passed before any of them had realised, both of the therapists were proud of seeing completely different people sitting in front of them in their sessions. Bucky opened up more and so did Y/n, not only to their therapists but to each other.

The knock on the door pulled Bucky away from his bickering with Sam as his friend argued that pineapple on pizza was nice. “I’ll ask Y/n and see what she says! Hey doll”

“Hey, sorry I’m late”

“You’re not, don’t worry. Hey does pineapple belong on pizza?” He asked taking her coat and hanging it up on the hook.

“I’ve tried it and I like it” she waves to Sam.

“See! Sam I told you it was nice”

“But you said-“

“Shut up. Sam said that it was wrong but I said it was nice”

“No yo-“

“So how was your day?” Sam looked at Y/n mouthing ‘he’s lying’ making her giggle, she goes on to tell them all about her day which had Bucky hanging on to every word she spoke.

Halfway through the film Sam had picked Y/n went to the bathroom, Bucky eyed Sam curiously as the latter was sitting there grinning at him. “What?”

“Whens the wedding?”

“What wedding?”

“Yours and Y/ns”

“We’re not getting married? Why are you smiling like that?”

“If you say so, hey when are you going to tell her you love her?”

Choking on his beer Bucky shook his head “I don’t love her Sam”

“Okay, how about you telling her that you’re in love with her?”

“Sam shut up.”

“Nope. So when are you going to tell her?”

“I’m not going too alright. It’s just-it doesn’t matter alright just drop it”

“Drop what?” Y/n asked walking back into the living room.

“Pineapple being on pizza” Bucky says quickly his eyes going wide looking at Sam.

Laughing she shakes her head sitting back down next to Bucky “we’re not having this argument anymore boys”

“Try telling him that Y/n/n” now it’s Bucky’s turn to have a grin on his lips as Sam’s eyes squint at the pair.

“Sunshine has Bucky told you yet?”

“Told me what?”

“That he loves y-“

“Yogurts.”

“You… love yogurts?” She asked him with her eyebrow raised, Sam struggles to contain his laughter seeing Bucky become a stuttering mess.

“Yes… I love yogurts, problem?”

“Nope no problem here” If Y/n wasn’t snuggling into his left side Bucky would have throttled Sam.

The knock on her door startled her from the tv screen in front of her - it didn’t help that she was watching a horror and that a jump scare was about to happen when the knock came.

“Bucky? Hey, are you okay?”

“I-I was just in the neigh-neighbourhood a-and I thought that I’d st-stop by”

“Yeah come in, James is everything alright?”

“Yeah, w-why?”

“It’s just that you’re stuttering… and I’m just worried that’s all”

“S-someone said something about me, it-it wasn’t good” he admitted twisting the bottle cap from the water bottle she had gave him.

“What did they say?”

“It doesn’t matter, I-I just wanted to see you-you know because I was in the neighbourhood”

The truth was he wasn’t, he had finally listened to Dr Raynors advice and go out. His plan was to go down the corner store to get some essentials in. Get in, get out that was easy and simple. He could do it. Until he heard two men who were talking clearly and loudly about him their conversation attracting the attention of others passing by them. And that’s when he realised his second mistake that day, the first mistake being to agree to go out, the second being that he forgot his gloves. The comments were harsh and unkind.

His first response was to put his head down shoving his hands into his pockets and walk all the way to Y/n’s apartment. Even if it was a forty minute walk.

Bucky needed to see her, he didn’t care if they sat in silence just as long as he was with her, he didn’t care if she forced him to watch that terrible tv show.

“Come on let’s watch something and have cuddles”

He was safe with her. Calmer. Happier. More comfortable and relaxed.

“Have you asked her?”

“No Samuel I haven’t”

“Why?”

“Because I haven’t seen her today”

“Why?”

“Because she had her session with Dr Harlow”

“Why?”

“Sam, I’m going to punch you in the face”

“Wh-“

Bucky rolled his eyes and put the phone call down. He couldn’t bear to hear why one more time. He was too busy going over what he was going to ask Y/n, so many things could go wrong she could say no, it would be weird as they’ve only known each other for a year now. She’s going to say no. Of course she is. He can’t ask, he just ca-

“Buck? Open up my arms hurt”

Buck. Buck, the name Sam was not happy about hearing slipping out of her mouth. He had tried years to call him that but always got shot down. It wasn’t fair.

“Buck? Shit are you not in?”

“No! No I’m in doll, hi, hello, hi”

“Hi, hello, hi to you too” Bucky laughs taking the bags off her arms carefully, then takes them into the kitchen. A month ago Y/n moved in to his apartment with him after the landlord put up the rent making her struggle to keep paying the higher rent, Bucky caught her looking for a new place to live when he suggested her living with him, she first denied but Bucky swore and promised that he was more than happy to let her stay with him, she ended up agreeing, Bucky could have cried with happiness all night but managed to contain himself.

“Did you get everything?”

“Nope, forgot absolutely everything you asked for” sticking her tongue out at him, he laughed.

God he loves her weirdness.

“So I- god sake Sam, hold on pretty girl. What now Sam? No I haven’t. Because she’s just walked in. You’re so needy do you know that? Okay I’ll ask now. Yes I’ll do it whilst you’re on the phone. Y/n, do you want to come to Louisiana with Sam and I?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we’re going for a week to see his sister and nephews and we want you to come too”

“Will his sister mind me being there?”

“No. So?”

“Are you guys really sure?”

“Absolutely”

“O-okay, that would be nice”

His smile doesn’t just take up his face but Sam’s as well “good, good. Did you hear Sam? Okay see you later” chucking his phone on to the counter he turns back to Y/n. “We leave tomorrow”

“Tomorrow? Oh god okay, I’ll go and pack now”

Two days later they arrive in Louisiana after both men took it in turns to drive, it was long and tiring for them but Y/n loved it. She had never been out of New York before so she was taking in the sights. When Bucky wasn’t driving he would watch her from his seat, seeing her face lit up made his heart tingle.

“Are you sure she won’t mind me being here?”

“I promise, she’s excited to meet you” Sam reassures her as he pulls up the gravelled driveway.

Greeting his sister and nephews, Bucky doing the same Sarah turned her attention to Y/n instantly engulfing her in a warm embrace. “It’s so nice to finally meet you”

“You too” she smiled softly.

Later that night after putting their things away they all sat outside watching as the sun started to set, Sam was manning the grill and Bucky were chasing the two boys around making them squeal with laughter and excitement. Sarah and Y/n were talking when Sarah asked the woman sitting in front of her something that made her choke and splutter on her drink.

“W-we aren’t to-together”

“Are you sure? The way he looks at you makes me think differently”

“No, no we’re just friends. Plus he wouldn’t like me so”

“Do you like him?”

“I-yes. But I would rather have him as my friend than not have him in my life”

“Tell him how you feel”

“No I can’t do that!”

“You can”

“No I can’t”

“Can’t what?” Bucky’s voice comes from behind her. Sarah has to stifle her laughter as Y/ns eyes went as wide as saucers.

“I-erm nothing.”

“Okay? Hey there’s a crab down on the beach that the boys have found, want to come and see it?”

“O-okay” Bucky smiles and holds out his hand for her to take, helping her stand he keeps his hand in hers as they walk towards the two boys.

“Is she in love with him?”

“I think so, hopefully they’ll admit their feelings because they’re so cute together” Sarah says with her eyes trained on the two fading figures, Sam smirks before flipping the burgers.

Later that night Y/n got startled when she went into the bathroom seeing Bucky standing motionless in front of the mirror. “Shit! Bucky you scared- hey are you okay?”

“I-I’m fi-I’m not okay Y/n/n” Y/n moved so quickly wrapping her arms around him, both falling on the ground.

“It’s okay, it’s okay” the sobs wracked through his body making her body shake. She kept repeating those words like a mantra.

“M-my hair”

“Your hair? What about it?”

“I-I want it gone, please, please help me g-get rid of it”

Her heart broke at hearing him sounding so small, in the whole year of knowing him he had always sounded so strong, and confident. Also she loved his hair and they both knew it, on nights where they cuddled up together on the couch watching movies her fingers would always end up playing with the soft strands of hair.

“A-are you sure?” feeling him nodding against her chest ��okay, let me find some scissors and a clipper and I’ll do it for you okay?” Trying to stand was difficult especially since having a super soldier clinging to her. “Buck, I need to stand”

Finding the scissors was easy, it was just finding the clippers she had a difficult time coming up on. Cheering silently in triumph when she discovered them in the fourth draw. “Should we go outside so we don’t wake everyone up?”

“O-okay. Leave the light on Cass is scared of the dark, Sarah leaves the bathroom light on for him” Bucky whispered wrapping both of his hands around her free one.

Outside with only the porch light illuminating them, Y/n started cutting his hair the shorter it got the more Bucky started to relax. When it came to trimming his hair Bucky’s left arm reached around to tug on her waist, bringing her around to stand in between his legs, he smiled shyly up at her. Without thinking she leaned down as she placed her lips to his forehead. His arms snaked around the back of her legs squeezing lightly.

“I-it’s done, maybe Sam can fix it up later if it’s bad?”

“I bet y-you did a good job”

“Would you be mad if I said you had a massive bald spot right on the top of your head?”

He laughed and shook his head “no I won’t be mad”

“It’s a good job that there isn’t one isn’t there?”

“Y/n, thank you, i-it means a lot to me. Thank you”

“You don’t need to thank me. D-do you want to talk about what happened?”

“It was a nightmare. Just about my past” leading her over to the hammock on that swayed ever so lightly from the night breeze. “T-they did bad things to me, made me do worse”

“I’m here if you want to talk about it” she says squeezing his hand.

“They made me kill people, even when I completed the mission to their satisfaction they would still punish me and I never knew why. The chair was the worst, I-I did what I was told to do and I was still punished.”

Looking at the water he breathed deeply, he was about to tell her something to no one else knew, not even his therapist. “I-I’ve wanted to end my life since coming back from Wakanda b-b-but not since I met you I swear!”

“Oh Buck”

“It was easier to end it you know? But I couldn’t do it, I needed to try and make up for all the damage I caused.”

“Bucky it was-“

“It was though, wasn’t it? It was me the whole time”

“It wasn’t. Bucky you wasn’t in control of your own mind, your a good man, an incredible man - don’t scoff at me mister - you are, if you don’t believe me think about Sarah, even though I don’t know her all that well she seems to have a good sense of judgement, do you really think that she would let you be around her babies if she thought you was a bad person?”

Thinking her words over he had to agree with her words about Sarah even Sam wouldn’t let him anywhere near his sister and his nephews. Hell Tony wouldn’t have allowed him near his wife or daughter if they believed he was the monster that he still believed he was. “Y-you’re right”

Now it was her turn to think over the words from Sarah earlier that night. It was most likely going to blow up in her face and she was going to lose him as a friend forever but maybe just maybe Sarah could be right. “I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if you were a bad person Buck”

The silence that followed was killing her. She should have just kept her mouth shut.

He however couldn’t believe his ears. Surely she was playing a trick on him. There was no way this perfect angel as he always described her would ever feel the same way as him. Surely.

“I’m sorry Bucky, I-I’ll go n-“

He cuts her off by pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was soft, timid at first before they both gained their confidence their tongues dancing a slow dance together. Pulling away reluctantly Bucky leans his forehead against hers, both smiling widely at each other.

“I’m in love with you too” he whispered.

Nothing else was said. Nothing else was needed to be said.

Sam walks on to the porch with his hot cup of coffee that morning, his feet faltering when he sees Bucky and Y/n curled up together on the hammock fast asleep. Pulling his phone out he took a photo of the pair before running back into the house showing Sarah the photo.

As soon as they were back in New York Bucky asked Y/n out on a date, then another and another until he asked her to be his girlfriend. And soon enough she had moved into his room with him.

The first time she saw him topless was when he came out of the bathroom wearing grey joggers, he thought she was still in the living room. He heard the quiet gasp, he looked up to see her standing there and his stomach dropped.

“Y/n-“

“Your body… did the gods sculpt you? I-is that, two, four, six yep that’s an eight pack, how do you get an eight pack?”

Hearing her words he blushed with a little chuckle. “T-the scars-“

“Beautiful”

“Don’t lie to me”

“I would never lie to you Buck, everything about you is beautiful”

That night they made love for the first time, each of them taking their time in admiring the scars that littered their bodies. The second she pressed her lips delicately against the rough, raised patch where skin meets metal he honestly thought his heart was going to stop beating.

“ты мой спаситель, did you know that?” he whispered one night placing kisses on her bare shoulder.

“What does that mean?”

“ты мой спаситель?”

“Yeah”

“It means… your smelly”

“No it doesn’t” she laughs.

“No your right, it means you’re my saviour”

“Buck-“

“You are Y/n/n, you’ve saved me you’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been before a-and I know I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for you”

“I’ll be with you until you want me to leave”

“So never” he laughed, pulling her body even closer to his. “I love you Y/n/n”

“I love you too Buck”

Bucky wished Steve was still around so he could talk to him about things. He wish that his best friend was still there so he could tell the blond about how nervous he was. He imagined Steve’s reaction as he fixed his tie for the ninth time within five minutes.

A year had passed, on their year anniversary Bucky got down on one knee and proposed, three months later he was standing in the spare bedroom of Sarah’s house in his suit as Sarah helped Y/n with her dress.

He really wished Steve was there to see him marrying his love.

A month before marrying both Sam and Bucky retired, both men tired of the bloodshed and nightmares. Sam told Bucky that he was going to move down to Louisiana, he even brought up a business proposal, Bucky had to admit it did sound tempting he promised Sam that he would run it by Y/n.

“Sam’s moving closer to Sarah, you know now that we’ve retired.”

“Oh, right”

“He erm he brought up a proposal to go into business together-“

“Did you say yes? Please tell me you said yes!”

“Why? Do you want to move to Louisiana?”

“Yes! I mean I knew Sam was going to move back there so I may or may not have been looking at houses down there…”

Sam cheered loudly down the phone when Bucky rang him to tell him that they were coming too.

“You ready Bucky?” Sam asked popping his head around the door.

“Yeah, yeah I’m ready”

Bucky faltered walking out of the house only expecting to see AJ, Cass and Roy - the man who was going to be marrying them - but yet all the people Y/n and himself had befriended over the two years they had been going to Louisiana, had showed up to watch them become one.

Being announced as husband and wife had their hearts doing a double take. They were married and neither one could believe it. And neither one could wipe the smile off their faces.

“ты мой спаситель… wait did I pronounce any of that right?” She panicked as they slow danced to the live music from a local band.

“Di-did you learn that just for me?”

“Yes” she giggled “so did I say it correctly?”

“Yes you did мой спаситель”

The celebration went on well into the night.

** present time **

“Buck?”

“Huh?”

“Did you just hear what I said?” Y/n looks up at him lightly nibbling on her bottom lip looking nervously.

Of course he had heard the words that came out of her mouth but those exact words made him think about how they met, and how far they both had come from being complete strangers who met in the waiting room of their therapist building to now being a happily married couple whose love continued to grow as the days passed.

“I did, but tell me again, please”

Oh how he can’t wait to tell his best friend Sam the news he had just received.

Taking his hands in hers she placed them on her still flat stomach and smiled.

“You’re going to be a dad.”

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77

[notafunkiller]

she chose me

Summary: Steve's hopes get crushed when he wrongly assumes you'd choose him over Bucky.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x agent!female reader

Warnings: 18+, no condom (but f is on birth control), teasing, pet names, jealousy, sergeant + sir + daddy kìnk, vibranium arm kìnk, language, degrading, praising, no mention of y/n etc.

Word Count: 6.9K

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: I really hope you’ll enjoy it! This was inspired by the "She chose me." TikTok trend.

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

You’re all quiet, watching the back and forth between Cap and Bucky. Not even Sam intervenes.

“You didn’t-”

“This is just not gonna work, Buck.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, with an expression you like to describe as bitchy. He’s so sassy without even intending to, and you wonder how bitchier he’d be if this wasn’t his best friend talking.

“Let’s see if people agree.”

He looks around waving at you and the rest of the team while Sam just snorts, covering his mouth with his hand.

But you’re not amused because you have no idea how to handle this diplomatically.

“Whose side are you on?” Steve’s tone is deep and authoritative, making you feel a little uneasy.

You don’t know how to talk to Avengers sometimes. You are on friendly terms, even when you train. Sam always cracks jokes, Steve shares stories and gives advice, and Bucky is Bucky. Nat and Sam call him The Machine for a reason. But he’s a really good professor and an even better observer. He pays attention to every recruit and remembers what they need to work on. You find him extra intimidating because he’s also the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. No exaggeration. And it’s not in the usual clean and golden boy way you are used to, anyway. He’s been through shit and it’s showing in the way he carries himself and doesn’t talk much when it’s not needed.

But you pay attention too, and this is why you think you were chosen to lead the recruits for this mission. You are on good terms with the Avengers, and Bucky probably approved the idea of working with you because you didn’t piss him off like most do. You know he hates chit chat, you learned how to read most of his stares and to not take it personally when he makes remarks about your fighting skills. They’re not your strongest asset, but you have a flair and you come up with the best solutions under pressure. You managed to pin him down once for a few seconds, and that is probably your greatest achievement.

But in moments like this, you don’t know how to say things without upsetting one side.

“You won’t get in trouble, don’t worry,” Bucky adds confidently. You’re not surprised when four out of your six colleagues agree with Bucky. They explain quickly why, emphasizing how much faster and efficient it would be if you followed that route, but their voices are still trembling. And you get it. Telling Captain America to his face you prefer his best friend’s plan over his will always be a risk. But if he gets mad, that says more about him as a leader than about anyone else.

Sam raises his hands in the air defensively, probably enjoying this as a show, but based on the looks he shares with Bucky, it seems like he agrees with him too.

You try to find your words, knowing you’re the last one from your team to speak, but before you can even open your mouth, Steve already smiles, pointing at you with his index finger. “Look at this, though! She agrees with me… She chose me.”

His grin is cold and a little arrogant. What you don’t notice, though, is the intention Steve had when he decided to use those exact words, but Bucky does. And he clenches his jaw at the same time his vibranium hand curls into a fist; a silent response to the not-so-innocent assumption that Steve made.

After a few seconds, Bucky leans in, his gaze steady and confident. “Did she?”

There is no way you would pick Steve’s plan. You are too smart and you have too much integrity to pick his side just to kiss his ass. He raises an eyebrow at you this time, a confident smirk forming on his lips. “Did you really choose him? You really think his plan would work better, doll?”

You feel surrounded by Bucky… attacked even. Your cheeks are getting hotter, too, and you know there is nothing you can do to hide your redness. Doll… He called you that when he turned you again on your back the day you managed to pin him down. It’s something about the way he says it that makes it absolutely deadly. Your first instinct was to be offended, but you reminded yourself he is a man born in 1917. He lived his twenties in the 40s, and doll was used as slang for sweetheart.

Taking a deep breath, you tilt your head slightly, directing your response to Steve. “It’s not about choosing sides, but considering all perspectives for the best outcome. And your plan, Captain, has its strengths, but I’m inclined to agree with Sergeant Bucky.” You bite your lip. “It’s about finding the most effective strategy for the mission, not a personal preference of any kind.”

Steve’s smile falls off, but your attention shifts back to Bucky’s grin that lightens up his face.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Well, then,” Steve sighs. “Can I have a word with you in private?”

You don’t realize he’s speaking to you until he says your name.

Surprised, you jump. “Yes, of course.”

*

Steve leans back in his chair, a slight smile playing on his lips as you write down the last details. “You know, I value your insights on the mission.”

You look surprised because how can he value your opinion when this is your second mission only? He’s Captain America!

“Oh?”

“I trust your judgment, and your training is going great. If you and the team chose Bucky’s plan, then we do it.” You see his jaw clench, though, so you know it’s not easy for him to say it. Even if it’s his friend… interesting. “Maybe, when all is over, we could grab a cup of coffee and talk about other things. What do you think?”

You’re silent for a couple of seconds, trying to realize if he means it in the way you think he is. There is no way, right?

Just in case, you offer him a friendly smile, “Thanks, Cap! I value our teamwork too. Coffee sounds great after. It could be a good way for all of us to unwind as a team.”

He nods, sighing. “I’m glad you’re on board. I’m looking forward to that coffee, even if it’s with the whole team. And please, call me Steve.”

So he was flirting…

“Thank you,” you pause as you stand up. “I’m gonna talk with Sergeant Barnes so we can get things ready for tomorrow. Have a good night, Steve!”

*

You knock only three times before the door opens and a Bucky dressed in shorts and a white tank top lets you in with a smirk.

“Sergeant Barnes,” you nod as you take a step inside his bedroom. He only stays here before and after missions when he is too tired to go to his apartment, so you don’t expect to see any personal objects there except for a few clothes.

“What happened to Bucky?”

You look at him surprised, tightening your hold on the tablet you are holding.

What?

“Sir?”

Bucky closes his eyes for a second. “Earlier, during the meeting, you called me Sergeant Bucky.”

Shit!

Maybe you should start calling him Sergeant Barnes in your head as well to avoid these fucks up. You feel so embarrassed that you want to disappear. You don’t want him to think you disrespect him in any way. His rank carries a lot of weight and trauma.

You clear your throat, slightly flustered. “My apologies, Sergeant Barnes. It won’t happen again, sir.” You offer him an apologetic smile while trying very hard to maintain a professional tone.

Bucky’s smirk softens as he places his flesh hand on your shoulder. You feel your legs transforming into jelly.

“My point was, doll, there is no need to be so formal. We’re off-duty here, and titles aren’t necessary. Just call me Bucky.”

“Alright, Bucky,” you smile. “I’m sorry for bothering you, but I came to discuss the plan for tomorrow. I talked to Steve and we agreed it would be wise for you to lead the way as Mr. Wilson-”

“Steve?” Bucky interrupts before you can finish your sentence. He doesn’t even bother to look at your tablet, either.

“Yes, we talked in the office.”

“No, I get that. But you call him Steve? What happened to Cap?” Bucky knows that might sound really childish, but he can’t help it. What is Steve trying to do?

Was it some kind of test? Did you misunderstand everything with Steve?

“Oh, Cap allowed me to call him Steve earlier. I am sorry if it sounded disrespectful.”

He squeezes your shoulder even before moving his hand to your chin, raising your face, and you feel yourself blushing again.

The blue of his eyes is so intense that you can’t see how anyone would be able to survive it.

“You apologize too much, doll. I don’t like it.”

You can’t breathe. “Sor-” You pause, realizing he is right. Apologizing is second nature to you. It feels wrong when you don’t, and you do it without even thinking about it. “I guess I do that a lot. I’ll work on it, Bucky.”

“I’m not your teacher right now, doll.” He smiles, letting go of your chin. “Just remember, we’re not all about formalities here. Relax a bit.”

Easier said than done. But you need to keep it together and ignore the urge to grab his face and finally kiss him. So you focus on talking about the mission and the members of the team. You talk about all of your colleagues, and Bucky helps you take notes. He switched so easily from friendly to the sergeant mode, which is fascinating.

He explains step by step your positions, the way things are gonna happen and even two back up plans. Two!

You’re not overwhelmed by the amount of information, but you’re quite surprised by how much he talks and how well he answers every possible question any of you could have. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him speak for more than a few seconds continuously so you try to focus on every word.

Only when he finishes and you close your tablet after sending everyone the plan, do you see him relaxing again.

With a smirk, he asks you, “How did Steve take it?”

“He was fine with the plan, even suggested if we feel like doing it, to get one or two more members. But based on what you said, we won’t need it.”

“He has a point, of course, but if you said you don’t think you need it, good.” You try not to stare at his lips as he speaks, but it’s so hard. “And I meant how he took that you chose my plan. That you chose me.”

You meet Bucky’s gaze, trying to keep your composure, “Steve seemed more than okay with it from what I saw. He values the team’s decision. Plus, it’s not about choosing sides, and-”

“And not a personal preference of any kind,” he interrupts just to quote you, and you don’t know if you should feel flattered he remembers word by word or to prepare yourself for a negative reaction. To be honest, your head is spinning and him being so close makes it worse. “I heard you very well, but I’m curious…”

He extends his hand and carefully tucks your hair behind your ears. You swear you can hear your own heartbeat going crazy. And if you do, so does he.

“About what?”

“Would the answer be different if it was about personal preferences, doll? Would you choose him?”

You freeze. You are simply in shock because this cannot happen to you. From Steve asking you out earlier to your crush basically doing this. You’re confused and a little tired, but you didn’t imagine all of this. Does Bucky want you? Is that it?

You take a deep breath praying you won’t choke on the words. “In a hypothetical scenario based on personal preferences, Bucky, I would still not pick him.”

Your voice is trembling, but you maintain eye contact even after admitting it. You didn’t choose Bucky’s plan because of your crush, so you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or exposed. He’s the one who let you call him Bucky, who touched you and asked you that. You don’t know if he counts romance as a personal preference, but there is an urge inside you to find out. You wonder how he’d taste, if he’d kiss you back if you kissed him first, how your mission would be if you crossed the line. Your thoughts are foggy.

“So you’d choose me.”

You clear your throat. “Yes.”

“Over Captain America.” His grin is so boyish and cute that it makes you smile. He looks younger and less… burdened when he gets like this. Bucky chuckles, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Well, well, well. Looks like I got someone not kissing Captain America’s ass for a change. That’s really rare. You’re a naughty one, aren’t you?”

You mask your gasp with a cough, deciding to play along, a sly grin forming on your face. “Maybe I just have a thing for underdogs.”

Bucky’s eyes light up with amusement to your annoyance but also excitement, and he leans in, taking the tablet from your hand and placing it on the floor without a care. “Underdogs, huh? Ouch, that hurt a little. I thought I was your favorite super-soldier.”

You can’t help but giggle, feeling enough encouragement from his reaction to touch his vibranium arm just to feel it. You got the chance to do it only for a couple of seconds and it always fascinated you, especially the golden pattern. The fact he can feel everything because it’s connected to his nerves is insane to you. It probably is to him too. “Oh, you are. And my favorite teacher too. But a little competition never hurts, Sergeant Barnes.”

You can see he feigns offense. “Competition, huh?” Bucky’s playfulness turns into a serious tone as he adds, “Well, let me show you why I’m the only choice.”

And without warning, he closes the distance between you and kisses you.

You gasp, taken aback, but you bring your hands to his face and hip before you deepen the kiss. He’s not as gentle as you expected, his left arm flying to your ass and bringing your hips closer to his immediately.

You moan when you feel his hard on so close to your pussy, and tug on his hair a little.

“Aren’t you a naughty girl?” He lowers his lips to your jaw. “I could basically smell how wet you got earlier as soon as I called you doll. And so did Steve.”

You want to open your eyes and tell him to stop talking about his friend. You don’t want to be turned off, but he already continues.

“He thought he stood a chance with my girl.”

“Your girl?” You whimper when his teeth graze your neck before his tongue licks on the spot. He intends to leave a mark, you have no doubt, and you absolutely love it.

“Mine.” His whisper makes you shiver. “I want to mark you. The thought of having you covered in hickeys during the mission makes me so hard it almost hurts. Gonna show everyone you belong to me.”

“Do I belong to you, Sergeant Barnes?” You take a step back but let your hand linger on his chest teasingly. “Because I don’t remember you asking me to dinner.”

Bucky grins. “Dinner is a classic move, and I adapted very well to the present. But of course I can stop with the kisses right now, and we can have some late dinner.”

You roll your eyes at his unbelievably good answer. Fucker!

“This is not what I meant, Barnes, and you know it.”

“I don’t know it. But I want to know something else.”

You don’t even doubt he means something dirty because it’s too obvious.

“Like what?”

“Like how your pretty pussy tastes while you come all over my face.”

You gasp at the no-filter words. You’re so used to Steve’s warning you to use proper language, that you did not expect it.

“I thought men your age were all about being proper and refined… Don’t they teach subtlety in the 40s etiquette class or did you skip it?”

You tease him on purpose, and he knows it. You are well aware what a nerd he was in school. Such a nerd that it was displayed in the museum. You snort. You were a nerd too, so you love it.

Bucky chuckles, a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he brings his hands to your pants, unzipping them without warning. Holy. Shit. The way you love this. He reads your body language very well and he has his super soldier senses.

“Well, doll, proper and refined went out the window with the 40s, right? Because otherwise you’d not be standing here letting me undress you.”

You raise your eyebrow, a mix of surprise and amusement on your face. His energy is so light, and he looks like a man without a worry in moments like this.

“You’re the one who offered to show me what the little upgraded version of you can do, after all.” You take off your shoes before pulling down your pants as soon as he drags them to your ankles. You can’t believe you’re about to fuck James Bucky Barnes! “Why would I say no?”

“Just sit back and enjoy the ride, doll. Gonna make sure you have the time of your life.”

You snort, amused by his eagerness, and decide to take off your shirt yourself to see his reaction. And he doesn’t disappoint.

He grins like a child, his hands flying straight to your back without taking his eyes off your chest. And before you know it, your bra is on the floor and Bucky cups your breasts, bringing your left tit to his mouth.

If you gasped when you felt the cold touch of the vibranium, now you moan loudly, enjoying the way he licks around your skin. He avoids your nipple on purpose, so you decide to take matters into your own hands quite literally and get a grab of the top of his hair, forcing him to suck on your nipple.

“Fuck! I didn’t expect you to be so whorish,” you say without realizing, and you feel his snort and breath on the wet patch he left with his tongue.

Bucky’s grin turns into a sly smirk. “This is what you call whorish? I guess I’ll give you an experience you won’t ever forget.”

“Talk less, do more.”

You want to enjoy more of this. You have a mission in a few hours, and it might be just a one time thing anyway since he is Bucky Barnes. You don’t want to get your hopes high.

Bucky lets go of your breast with a pop and moves up, raising your head so he can kiss you.

It’s electrifying, and desperate, and not enough. You move your hands to the bottom hem of his tank top and lift it, interrupting the kiss so you can take it off completely. You just want to feel him, all of him.

You step back for a second, wanting to look at him properly, but you notice a change in his eyes that he, of course, tries to mask.

“Why are you nervous? You look like a fucking god! I should be nervous here.”

Bucky’s eyes flicker with vulnerability.

“I guess I’m not used to someone seeing my scars or my,” he waves toward his vibranium arm, and you frown.

“I will sound totally weird, but they all make you really cool, Serge.” You trace down a few scars when you see he is completely relaxed and continue. “Do I have to lick them all to make you believe me?”

You move your hands under his shorts before he can answer, though, finally touching his cock. You both moan at the feeling. He’s hard and thick, and the head is wet. You bring your fingers to his lips, smearing some of the precome before leaning in to suck it off.

You’re not prepared for his moan or for the way he attacks your mouth, and definitely not for him to snap your underwear using his flesh hand. Not even his vibranium one!

You moan into his mouth. He makes you feel like you’re floating and you need to fuck him right then.

“You’re not just whorish, you’re a whore!” You pause when you feel his fingers close to your entrance. “No wonder why you didn’t belong in the 40s.” Then you move, allowing him to touch you. You don’t realize what you said, and when you do, in the middle of dragging his shorts down, you curse yourself in your mind. It sounds like the most disrespectful thing ever. This man’s fate was changed by monsters who cryogenically freezing him and brainwashing him, and you are selfishly talking as if he belonged to you. “I’m sorry that was awful of-” But he interrupts you before you can get a chance to properly apologize.

“You like that, don’t you?”

A wave of shame surges through your body. Your cheeks are burning.

“I’m really sorry,” you take your hands off his shorts and look away, not even peaking at his cock. You ruined it, didn’t you? “I will just go.”

Bucky shakes his head, puffing. “For such an amazing agent, you’re not a good room reader, are you?”

Your eyes finally drop to his cock, which you’ve been trying to avoid in the last minute out of shame, but there’s no need anymore since he’s teasing you. He’s just a bit longer than average, and he’s really thick, and the veins do not make it ugly at all. You are curious how it’d feel in your hand, how much it’d twitch, how Bucky would moan.

“You aren’t a good room reader, either then, Barnes, since I’m not getting dicked down and my hair pulled, am I?”

Something snaps in him, and it’s visible in his eyes. You don’t know what to expect so you just watch him. But you can’t. He is so quick that, despite your crazy training, you don’t anticipate his move. His hand wraps around the hair from your nape and fists it hard enough for you to move along with him.

“Wanna be dicked down? Fine by me, get on your hands and knees.”

You’re surprised, of course you are, but his tone is firm and you find yourself nodding and doing what he told you. You know you can say no; there is nothing in Bucky’s energy that makes you feel unsafe or as if you have no choice.

At the same time, he lets go of your hair just so he can take off his shorts completely.

“Are you not gonna make sure I’m wet enough for you?” You ask when you see him getting closer to you again, even though you are very wet. You just want to push his buttons.

“I can smell you if I focus on it, let me remind you.” He smiles. “I know you’re soaked, and you wanna be dicked down. Or are you backing off?”

Challenging prick!

You roll your eyes. “I’m not scared of your dick.”

“Good, because he wants to be friends with you.”

You close your eyes, cringing. “God, you were this close to turning me off.” You raise your hand in the air, putting your weight on the left one as you bring your thumb and index finger close to each other to show him exactly what a thin line this was.

Bucky laughs, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you forget it in a second.”

Your first instinct is to want to tease him about the second remark, to ask him if this is how long he can last, but you’re too horny now. And you also need rest for the mission tomorrow.

“How, uh…” You pause not knowing how to ask this properly. “Can you, uh, make babies?” You cringe at your words. “I mean, widows can’t… and I just wanted to know if we need a condom to be extra careful since you might be extra fertile because I am on the pill and I have no idea how sex with a super sold-”

Bucky’s lips press against yours suddenly, making you stop talking.

“Breathe.”

“I’m breathing,” you whisper and he cups your face.

“Not enough. We can use a condom if you want, but I’ll need to check where I can find one. Or we can go bare if you trust me… I can pull out and you are already protected, so there shouldn’t be a problem, I think.” He pauses to kiss your lips again. “But we can still use a condom anyway to be extra careful as you said.”

You frown at that, suddenly more desperate to feel him bare than ever before.

“No, I trust you. I have never done it without a condom before, and I assume you didn’t have much time to uh… have sex.”

Bucky snorts amused. “Now why do you assume that?”

“You look like you haven’t been fucked since 1945.”

The fact he doesn’t even deny it makes you feel even bolder, so you reach for his cock and place your thumb on his wet head while wrapping the rest of your hand around the length. “Are you gonna even last for a second once you’re inside me, Sergeant Barnes?” You snort when you see him trying to hold back his moan by biting his lip. It makes you feel happy. “Or do you even manage to get inside me before- ahh!” He is predictable this time as he pulls your hair, so you laugh.

“Are you familiar with this whole red, yellow, green color code?”

You gasp. “Yes, read about it, never needed it. But how do you know that?”

“I read about it, too.” His grin is so wide and beautiful that you melt again.

“Quite naughty of you, Serge. Reading dirty books. Needed some ideas?”

Bucky smirks, kissing you again and again. “Gonna need a review after I finish with you.”

“You finishing with me?” You smile. “Big words, Barnes, but no action.”

He knows you challenge him, and you don’t try to hide it. Do you have to beg for his cock for him to finally fuck you? He is edging you on purpose at this point.

You let out a whimper in anticipation when he moves behind you.

“Are you sure you’re fine with no condom?”

“Ihm, I’m not ovulating anyway,” you whisper, trying not to sound too eager. But you are. You want to get dicked down, indeed. And you wanted it for months.

His silence makes you a bit nervous, but the sounds of him dropping to his knees behind you, followed by his hand grabbing his cock and positioning it at your entrance while squeezing your hip with the metal arm.

You love the sensation of the coldness, but you love even more when he leans in to kiss your back before he pushes inside you.

It takes two tries, though, for him to be able to push halfway inside you because you kept pushing his dick out of you instantly. You managed to take him only when he brought his fingers to your clit and rubbed a bit.

You still laughed though because the sounds were too funny and his little frustrated whimpers were hilarious. The amusement turns quickly into more horniness when you feel him stretching you without even being fully inside you. You dreamed and daydreamed about it… fantasized about it, but it still wasn’t even close to how it actually feels. How full it feels. It’s like you cannot even think, your body is weak.

“Fuck,” your voice is cracking. “Deeper.”

“You’re so fucking tight,” he whispers.

“So?” You bring your hand to his ass, trying to show him you really need it deeper. “Why do you make it sound like a bad thing? Or are you trying not to come, Mr. Super Soldier?”

“You have quite a mouth on you, I think you need it-”

“You talk way too much. Are you nervous or-” It’s his turn to interrupt you with a thrust. Such a deep thrust your head is spinning. He’s not fully inside you, you realize, but he doesn’t try to, instead, he starts to fuck you, taking your breath away. His fingers leave your clit, grabbing your hips with both hands.

There is no question anymore, just fucking as you wanted.

And it feels like heaven. You try to keep your eyes open just so you look at him over your shoulder, but it’s impossible.

“Cat got your tongue?”

You groan. “No, you did, n-now fuck me harder.”

“Well, well,” he slows down and you almost wanna die. “This is not how you talk to your Sergeant, is it?”

He can’t do this!

“Fuck you!”

“What does my baby want?” His thrusts are too slow and teasing, just like his voice. “Use your words, beg for it.”

You’re not turned off, surprisingly. Not at all, on the contrary, the firm tone he uses, the words… you’re getting hornier, if that is even possible.

“I love your cock, Sergeant, so please give it to me. Fuck me harder and faster. Need you to pull my hair, and choke me, and… be rough.” You would be embarrassed if you weren’t so desperate. You know he wouldn’t make fun of you for this, so you trust him.

“Only mine.” You take a deep breath relieved when you feel his right hand wrap around your hair. “Do you hear me? Answer me.”

You nod, unable to say anything because he starts to thrust hard and fast, just like he did before he stopped. Your tits are jumping at the impact, and you have to dig your toes into the floor.

“Use your words. If you want my,” he moans. “If you want my cock and my hand wrapped around your neck, you have to use your big girl words. Tell me you’re only mine.”

You can’t hold back your tears this time. You love it so much, you can’t believe you waited so long to have him.

“Only yours.”

“No Steve.”

He lets go of your hair, wrapping his hand around your neck. No pressure, not moving it, he’s just holding it there.

“There’s n-no Steve, Sergeant. Only you. My pussy belongs to you. I o-only want to get filled by you.”

You know he’s smiling without needing to look at him.

“You love your Sergeant’s cock, don’t you?” You have no idea how he’s able to speak while thrusting so hard. He’s a fucking robot, indeed. “No one else could give you this, no matter how much they tried.”

You feel the building in your core. You’re so, so close already, so you try to place your weight on only one hand and bring the other to cover his, and before he can say something, you encourage him to choke you by pressing his fingers on the sides of your neck.

You moan so loudly you surprise even yourself. You sound like a cat.

“Please, sergeant, please, choke me.” You repeat your move and you close your eyes. “Please, daddy, I’m so c-close.”

He pauses for a second, and you don’t know why.

Before you can ask what’s wrong, he doesn’t just start to thrust inside you again, he dicks you down just the way you wanted. It’s as if he fucks the air out of your lungs every time you exhale. You’re crying and screaming at this point, so loud the whole floor must hear you. But you’re not ashamed. You feel so close you can almost taste it.

You barely hear his whimpers, but they’re there and they’re so beautiful.

You get no warning when he decides to squeeze the sides of your neck: gently at first, but then? Perfect. So perfect you come without warning, not being able to even say his name. You just scream some nonsense, your hand dropping from his to the floor so you can ground yourself properly. Your whole body is burning, and burning, and burning, coming alive for what feels like an eternity.

He doesn’t wait even for a second after you come down from your orgasm. Instead, he gets his dick out of you, grabbing you by your ass and raising you in his arms. Still weak, you barely have the strength to wrap your legs around his waist and your hands around his neck. He’s sweaty but not that hot. His metal arm is making you cool down.

“Daddy’s gonna take good care of you.” His lips find your forehead and you fight the urge to kiss his neck. You feel so small in his arms… and as if no one can hurt you.

You’re smiling like a fool when your back hits his bed, and so is he. Such a beautiful, blinding smile.

You let him spread your legs before you drag his face down so you can kiss him. You bite his lip hard until he opens his mouth, moaning when you feel him entering you again. This time, you’re relaxed so he thrusts inside you so much easier.

“Gonna make you come again around your daddy’s cock..”

His hands wrap your legs around his ass when he starts to thrust again.

“You’re quite… into it, Sergeant Barnes. So dirty!”

He gently grabs your jaw. “Tongue out.”

You do it, opening your mouth and waiting, and waiting until you finally understand what he’s about to do.

Instead of being grossed out, as you expected, you eagerly swallow the saliva that he lets drip from his mouth, which lands on your tongue.

You bat your eyes as you start to move your hips to meet his thrusts halfway, and that sends him into a frenzy.

“Fucking hell, you don’t want to sleep tonight, do you?” He asks sarcastically, but you don’t have enough air to tease him with a stamina comment. “You want me to make you scream and swallow my spit and come till we have to go to that fucking mission. Till your beloved Steve needs to come to us himself and hear us covered in come but still fucking.” You moan at the idea of your teammates finding out about this. You get awful comments anyway; at least you can get him for real and rub it in their faces. “You would like that, wouldn’t ya? Having all my undivided attention on you, not caring that my best friend is mad…” The thrusts are so deep that your head falls on the pillow instantly. You cannot keep your eyes open for even a second and you’re crying again. “Not caring my pal wanted you so badly he even tried to take you out tonight.”

“Sergeant-”

Thrust after thrust. You grab his forearm as tightly as you can so you can have something to hold onto.

“He thought he could have you, that you’d choose him. Come on, love. Come on, scream my name, let them hear. Let them all hear whose cock you cry for. Who is the one you belong to.” His balls slap against your skin so hard they tickle you. But not even that can distract you from almost reaching your orgasm. His words, his cock, his possessiveness…

“Sergeant, please. No one but you, can I… c-can I touch my clit? I’m so, so close.”

You don’t have to, though, because he is quick enough to bring his flesh hand between your bodies and rub your clit just the way you need it.

“F-fuck, coming,” you manage to warn him before the pleasure hits you. It’s so overwhelming you see white, digging your nails into his forearm.

You don’t know what you call him… daddy, Bucky or sergeant, but it doesn’t matter. You hear his praise, how you’re his good girl, and his words encouraging you to come for him.

When you can focus again, you kiss him with everything you have.

“Need you to come for me, Sergeant Barnes,” you whisper between kisses. “Need you to come inside me, need you to fill me up with your come, sir.”

He hisses loudly, his eyes being more grey than blue.

“Don’t tease me.”

“I mean it,” you make eye contact, wrapping your legs tighter around him. “Not the heat of the moment. I need your come, daddy. I’m on birth-”

He kisses you so hard your teeth end up hitting, but you don’t care. This is everything.

“Gonna come, gonna give you what you want. Gonna make you my come s-slut. Is that what you needed?”

“Yes, yes.” You’re so excited to watch him finish you don’t even realize how much you like being called his come slut until he says it again. “Come on, Sergeant, come for me.”

After you say that, it only takes him two more thrusts to finish, moaning your name.

His eyes close, and you notice how pretty his eyelashes are. And the little moles on his face… his mouth semi-open and his hair in all directions.

You want to witness this every day.

Before you can stop yourself, you lean in to kiss his nose and cheeks, letting your hips move at the same time.

“C-can’t… doesn’t stop,” he manages to groan, and you bring your hand to his nape, caressing his hair as he rides out his orgasm.

When he finally finishes, though, his head falls on top of your breasts, his mouth finding your nipple and playing with it before sucking it fully into his mouth.

“Easy, Bucky,” you moan, but he keeps going, though.

You have to pull his hair, to make him stop.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but I need to uh… I’m tired.”

You’re back to your shy self. But his smile still makes you feel so relaxed.

“Got you tired, huh?” He winks, giving your breasts a kiss before pressing his lips against yours. “Fuck, I’ve never been so aroused in my entire life. Won’t even mention how happy I am.”

“Me neither,” you whisper.

“Well, we need to get used to it.”

You laugh so happily that you think your chest will explode. It’s surreal.

“You owe me that dinner after all.”

“A million dinners.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Trying to charm me?”

He pecks you one more time before getting out of you with a whimper.

“I’ve already done it.”

It’s weird to be empty like this again, but seeing your come and wetness on his pubic hair or dripping out of your pussy just to soak the sheets beneath you distracts you. You made a mess.

“We need to clean this.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says distractedly as he uses his index finger to push some come back inside you. Jesus! “This is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You smile. “You’re a whore.”

“Your whore.” He slowly gets out of bed, grabbing his shorts from the floor.

“Want me to go?” You ask all of a sudden, gaining a confused look from him.

“Why would I want that? Unless you do, of course…” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to fix it a little. “But I want you to stay.”

“Saw you dressing.” You bring your knees up just to put your chin on top of them. You feel extra shy.

He smiles. “Just gonna get you some water. I don’t want you dehydrated.”

*

Bucky knew Steve was in the kitchen as soon as he went down the stairs. He smiles casually, not giving him a second look as he goes straight to the fridge. It’s not like he hasn’t seen him in shorts or shirtless before, and Bucky knows he knew exactly what happened upstairs.

“Can’t sleep?” Steve’s tone is so obvious Bucky almost laughs.

“Not sleepy yet. What about you? You’re alright, punk?”

“Yeah,” he says, taking a sip from his own glass of water; his hands tightly wrapped around the glass.

“Still mad about earlier? You know I’m right.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, it’s all good.”

Bucky sighs dramatically. He loves Steve, he is his brother, but sometimes he is so annoying.

“Well, try to get some sleep. I suggest you wear some earplugs or something, though,” Bucky suggests casually, taking a whole bottle of water. “We wouldn’t want you too sleepy tomorrow. And the night is young.” He even winks at Steve, making him clear his throat.

“Buck…”

“Not a super soldier perk, I know, but you understand, right?” The smirk he suddenly gives Steve is almost sinister. “She chose me after all, and I gotta let her test-drive me. Have a good night!”

Even though he turns around, Bucky doesn’t miss the way Steve’s hold gets so tight that his glass almost breaks.

Bucky doesn’t regret it. He had it coming when he thought you’d choose him.

[dameronspector]

Philophobia

(PART 1)

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Stark!Reader

Summary: Devastated by your father’s death and cutting yourself off from everyone, you are on the road of recovery, accompanied by your uncle Rhodey. After Rhodey has finally convinced you, you agree to reunite with Sam Wilson and help him with his tech. He introduces you to another techie nerd, named Joaquin Torres, for the first time. Will you let your phobia get in the way and push away your new found family and this beautiful boy? Or will you get better and let yourself be loved once again?

Warnings: Mentions of Death and Depression/Depressive episodes, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Abuse by a parent (not Tony), Weight loss due to stress, Nightmares, Some cursing, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Steve Rogers Slander- please don’t read this if that’s not something you’re looking for, Reader is sassy and a bit reserved because of The incident and because they’re a Stark, Reader has some phobias, Found family, also there’s a few references and hidden plots in this. 😁 (please keep in mind that I wrote this from my point of view as a south asian.)

Author’s note: I probably went overboard and this is very long + very self indulgent….but tony stark is the father who raised me and joaquin torres is my boyfriend so i Had to do this. ☺️ also lots of found family content with Rhodey, Sam and Bucky. Set around the time of TFATWS. Please let me know if there’s any changes to be made if I have written anything wrong.

series masterlist

Moving back to New York was extremely hard and painful for you ever since your dad passed away. That was the city that you were born and raised in and it had the ghosts of your father’s and family’s moments everywhere. But you told Pepper that you couldn’t handle living in that cabin anymore because 1. you were going stir crazy since you loved the hustle bustle of a city and 2. the depressive episodes were more frequent than ever.

You’d think living in your family cabin that has your father’s memories written across every wall would help you…but you’re a Stark. Ignoring your own problems and running away from emotions is kind of your specialty. Hereditary, even.

Pepper, bless her heart, told you that she’s happy you are trying to get back your life back on track and that she would always be there for you. Even if you called her Pepper, she’s always been your Mother.

Hardest part of it all was saying goodbye to Morgan. Little Morgan who was so attached to you and vice versa. She was too young to even process her father’s death, how was she supposed to understand why her elder sibling was never leaving their room? And now that same sibling was going too far away from their house. It took Pepper, Happy and you to console Morgan and she was finally ready to send you off–only with a (pinky) promise of visiting her during holidays.

Rhodey and Happy helped you settle in your newest house- a penthouse in manhattan that your dad left behind for you. That was 3 months ago. Now, fully settled in your new space, you’ve decided to restart college to finish your degree that was put on pause because of a giant purple psycho. You had decided you will stop the whole Avenger shit the moment you lost your dad. You needed to leave that life behind in order to move on, and what better than being filthy educated and eventually finding a normal job?

Well, let’s just say it didn’t go as planned.

I mean, really, were you expecting to just magically heal from the most traumatic time of your life in three months, with no therapy or contact from your family and friends?

Panic attacks are like your best friends. The other day you had a panic attack because you found a scarf that was gifted to you by your dad. Embarrassing, really.

Nightmares are something you have been walking hand-in-hand with since your dad was kidnapped and you were just a little kid. But now, every night you close your eyes and you see your father’s lifeless eyes staring back into yours.So it’s not surprising that you have become insomniac as well.

Overall, you were continuing the Stark legacy of being severely mentally ill but not doing anything to help it or accepting any help. The only difference was that you chose NOT to drink until you blacked out because after watching your dad do that as a kid, you developed a strong distaste for any type of alcohol. It was so bad, that you got diagnosed with dispophobia– a persistent fear of drinking alcohol. It’s real, look it up.

You chose the other option—pushing everyone around you away until you wallowed in your misery, loneliness and sorrows.

This behaviour of yours was constantly stressing Pepper, Rhodey and Happy out. All three of them did their best to help you and make you socialise, but everytime they approached, you either ignored their calls and messages or told them you were busy (by busy you meant that you were tinkering on your father’s old suits that you moved to your apartment, but you didn’t tell them that.)

Even FRIDAY tried giving them updates on your well-being but you had threatened the AI to not “leak” any of your “information”. This was giving the three of them a major déjà vu. Eventually, they had enough and Rhodey came to your house one day because he knew he’s the only one who can call out your shit. He kinda had a Phd in tackling the Stark family’s issues.

“Look kid, it’s been 3 months. You haven’t bothered to call or text any of us. We didn’t even know if you were alive since you have banned FRIDAY from reporting anything to us as well. Can you please spend one evening with us for a dinner? Hell, if not all of us,then atleast meet up with Morgan?”, Rhodey said firmly with his eyebrows furrowed and arms folded tightly around his chest, leaning on your kitchen island.

You were making your dinner when he decided to come over. Trying your best to be nonchalant, you kept stirring the soup with your back to him, and scoffed, “You sound exactly like dad sometimes.”

Rhodey closed his eyes in frustration. “That’s not important right now. You’re doing the same thing that Tony did when he was feeling all these… emotions. Please, stop this kiddo. You’ve got all of us. Always. Just reach out once and we’ll be there to catch you”, he replied in a soft tone.

You took a deep breath and he saw your shoulders go up and down. You stopped stirring the soup, turned the gas off and turned around to face him.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, making yourself smaller, and intently focused on your shoes to avoid meeting his eyes.

“There’s nothing to ask. I’ve already told you I will be starting college soon. I’ll keep myself productive and occupied. It’ll be alright, don’t worry about me”, you say, your voice scratchy after not using it for a long time.

Rhodey observed you with his sharp gaze. You knew you were screwed the moment you saw Rhodey at the door because he could read you like a book. Honestly, it was extremely intimidating but you will never admit that to his face. He’s been around for your whole life- right from your birth. He knew you like you were his own child.

“FRIDAY, activate babysitter protocol”, he said, his voice stern.

You snapped your gaze up from your shoes to stare at him in confusion.

“On it Mr. Rhodes”, FRIDAY replied.

“What the hell is this?”, you replied narrowing your eyes at him.

“I know you blocked FRIDAY from telling us anything about you. Did you know Tony had an emergency protocol built in so that if there’s anything that went wrong while you were alone, FRIDAY would update him?”, Rhodey replied nonchalantly.

You widened your eyes and immediately teared up on hearing how protective your dad was over you. You were too tired to fight back so you just shut your eyes and wrapped your arms around your body tighter.

“FRIDAY, give me a proper run down of the kid’s activities and schedule in this past month. Including their health”, Rhodey asked the AI while observing you closely.

“OK sir. In this month, they have stepped out of the house only once for buying groceries. The rest of the month they’ve been at home, fixing Mr Stark’s suits”, FRIDAY finished.

At this, Rhodey’s eyes widened. “Tony’s suits? How did you even get these suits?” “They sneaked in the suits 2 months ago, Sir”, Rhodey’s eyes snapped back to yours. 2 months ago- right after you moved in. The suits were at the new compound and they were heavily guarded.

They should’ve known better because did they really expect you, a genius like your father, to not figure out how to hack the systems? It was a cakewalk for you.

You scrunched your eyes in shame and bowed your head. “Kid….”, he sighed.

“Tell me about their health, FRI”, Rhodey asked in a pained voice.

“They’ve had panic attacks almost every week. I suggested taking medication or visiting the therapist, but my requests were ignored. I’ve also observed a spike in their heartbeat everytime a loud noise is heard. They have nightmares regularly due to which they have stopped sleeping altogether. All the stress has made them lose weight, their appetite has lessened and has made them more irritable and unpredictable”, FRIDAY finished (snitched, you think).

Hearing it from someone else made it sound so much worse. You couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down your face.

You were too busy keeping the sobs from coming out of your mouth to notice Rhodey coming closer and wrapping his arms around you. He brought you closer and hugged you tightly and that completely broke you.

You leaned your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around his torso and just sobbed. Rhodey hushed you gently and rubbed your back softly with one of his hands.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t deal with this, Uncle. Please. I need him back”, you said in between sobs while clutching him tightly and pressing your face into his chest. Rhodey teared up at this and put one of his hands behind your head.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Let it out. I’m so sorry I didn’t visit you sooner. I know what you’re feeling. But I’ve got you now. Please allow me to help you?”, he said weakly.

You let out a shuddering breath and tried to calm yourself down. “Okay. ”, you replied in a weak voice. Rhodey broke the hug before putting his hands on your shoulders and let you wipe your tears. He caressed your head and told you, “We’re gonna get you something to eat first. From tomorrow, we will work on your routine and talk to your therapist about your insomnia and panic attacks. And then, you will be taking lots of rest. No more tinkering on the suits endlessly or skipping meals. We will go on walks and you will have a dinner with us at the cabin soon. That okay?”, he asked gently. You looked up at him and nodded your head yes. “Good. Now, you sit your ass down and Rest. Let me prepare your dinner”, he says while moving around you to get to the stove. “Do you even know how to turn on the stove?”, you say in a stuffy voice while wiping your nose with your sleeve and side eyeing him. He abruptly pauses and turns around. “You’re such a little shit, you know that?”, he says sassily while pointing a finger at you. That brings out a genuine smile from you and you just chuckle before he starts laughing as well. Your smile fades slowly. “Thank you. This means a lot to me,” you reply softly. Both of your eyes start tearing up and he just nods his head before giving you a side hug. “Anything for my favourite Stark”, he says in a shaky voice.

2 Months Later

You and Rhodey fell into a rhythm after that night. He stayed with you for some days and got you checked with your therapist and helped you around the house. He took you out for jogs every morning, made you work out and exercise every day. This made you feel productive and gave you a routine to follow. It also improved your appetite and you started to genuinely enjoy making healthy and filling meals.

You stopped unnecessarily tinkering on the suits and the medicines prescribed by your doctor helped you sleep better. You still had a long way to go but you had finally started stepping out of the house and went to a dinner at the cabin. Happy, Pepper and Morgan were so delighted to see you and they told you how proud they are of you. You just gave all the credit to your uncle Rhodey.

Rhodey had become a major figure in your life lately. He’d always been there for you and your dad but now he was like a teacher and mentor to you. All thanks to him, you could get your life back on track. And he was happy to help you anyways because you were like his own child.

But he’d started to take you to various social events lately and you HATED that. You were always a shy and socially anxious kid (a complete opposite of your father.) So the thought of attending social events where so many people and cameras were present…that was enough to send you into an early grave.

“Rhodey….for the last time. I’m not going with you. What am I even gonna do there? Sit and yawn while all you military and political people make speeches? No thanks”, you said breathlessly and jogged a little ahead of him.

He joined you immediately, huffing and puffing, “First of all.” Huff. “Slow DOWN. Jesus Christ.” Huff. And he stopped while putting his hands on his knees.

“Keep up, lazy! We gotta keep THE War Machine kicking and alive, come on!”, you say while jogging backwards and smiling at him.

When you saw that he was not going to join you, you stopped and jogged over to him. “Lazy, my ass. I’m 60 years old, you little shit”, he said while looking up at you, eyes narrowed and hands still on his knees. Still huffing and puffing.

You chuckled and helped him stand up with your arm around his back and another arm holding his. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You wanna sit down? Might as well drink some water, I’m thirsty.”

He nods his head yes and both of you sit down on a nearby bench and take a breather. You’re quiet for sometime, soaking in the crisp morning air and looking at the water fountain in front of you when Rhodey speaks up.

“I know you hate these events. But, please come to this one. We have a reunion in order, anyways”, he says cheekily while looking at you with that big smile of his plastered on his face.

You turned your head to look at him and raised your eyebrow, “Reunion? With whom?”, you ask skeptically. “Please don’t say Steve Rogers, Rhodey. I swear to god, I will never step foot in this city again”, you say, irritated.

He scoffed, “Nah, don’t worry. That’s never happening. It’s Sam. He’s been telling me that he wants to meet you.”

You observed his face for a second to see if he was being serious. “Sam? Sam Wilson? Why would he want to meet me?”, you asked, confused. Ever since the Sokovia Accords were brought into existence and ever since you sided with your father, Steve and the others didn’t want anything to do with your family. But you didn’t have anything against any of them— well, except for Steve. That was personal.

Even back then, you told your dad that you thought Bucky was innocent and that you want him to forgive Bucky somehow. You never met your grandparents so their accident/murder didn’t affect you. And you especially didn’t give a fuck about your deadbeat grandfather who would abuse your dad, but you felt your dad’s anger was justified as he loved his mom. You didn’t have an issue with Sam either. Not even when Rhodey met with that fatal accident that made him lose his legs. You saw the footage, and Rhodey told you as well, that Sam simply dodged. He didn’t cause the fall, nor did he injure him on purpose. The fall happened because his suit malfunctioned. But since Steve was the glue that was holding them together, they avoided talking to you at all. They were simply being loyal. And we all know how Steve Rogers thanked their loyalty in the end.

You would never forgive him for breaking your dysfunctional-found-family apart by being a selfish asshole and by abandoning your dad when he needed his support the most.

Rhodey shrugged. “Dunno. But he was looking forward to meeting you. He’s the kindest man I know, kid. And I know you don’t hold a grudge against him either. Please, come with me. I promise we will go get some ice cream later”, he said earnestly and smiled.

You let out a deep sigh. “Chocolate chips. Double scoop”, you said and lifted your water bottle to drink to avoid looking at his smug expression.

“Oh, you shall get anything you ask for, your highness”, he said while extravagantly bowing at you.

You just smirked and got back up to jog.

The constant clicking of the cameras was quickly causing a throbbing ache to appear behind your eyes. You were dressed in your formal clothes, presentable as always, and entered the museum arm-in-arm with Rhodey.

After giving a thousand repetitive interviews, half of which Rhodey denied on your behalf, you finally saw the man in question—Sam Wilson. Captain America.

Honestly, you were so proud of and excited for him to take up the mantle. It wasn’t a shock that Steve handed over that shield to Sam. He deserved it.

He saw the two of you and came over to talk. As he came closer, you saw just how shocked he was to see you there.

“Whats up, man? How are you?”, Sam said while shaking hands with Rhodey and bringing him in for a hug, all the while flashing his lovely, tooth-gaped smile.

Rhodey patted his back and broke away from the hug. “The usual. I got a surprise for you”, Rhodey said while putting an arm around your shoulder.

Sam, still surprised, flashed another one of his smiles at you.

“I just can’t believe you’re here. I hope you know how grateful I am”, he said earnestly while putting his hand out to shake yours.

You looked at his hand and shook it. “I’m surprised you wanted to meet me”, you say while smirking at him.

His smile faded after hearing that and he looked at you with a solemn expression.

“Yeah. I’m sorry it took me so long. I-” “Mr. Wilson, it’s your turn to speak.” Sam looked back at the woman and nodded his head at her.

“Uh…I’ll catch up with you after all this is done. Please wait until then?”, Sam turned around and asked you, nervously.

Rhodey looked at you to decipher your reaction. “Okay. I’ll wait. But not for long and not in front of these cameras”, you say coolly.

Sam smiles at you and Rhodey before approaching the stage.

“See? That wasn’t so bad”, Rhodey says while leading you to sit at the front row.

“We’ll see about that— not the front row, Rhodes... It’s like you want me to run away”, you groaned while slowing your pace.

Rhodey just laughs and pats your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll be next to you the whole time. You can even crush my hand if you want to.”

You and Rhodey sat down and watched Sam approach the stage.

Sam looked sharp in his well-fitted suit but something about his expression screamed anxiety.

He began his speech.

“Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically”, everyone chuckled at that. You scoffed.

“The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols...are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning. And this thing...”, he chuckles before picking up the shield and continuing.

“I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up, and he's gone. So, today we honor Steve's legacy. But also, we look to the future. So, thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you”, Sam concluded and handed over the shield to the museum security who then put encased it in a glass case. The camera flashes went off.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You knew something was wrong the moment Sam stepped up on the stage. Your mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

You furrowed your eyebrows and turned your head to look at Rhodey.

“Why did he give up the shield?”, you asked confused.

Rhodey solemnly smiled.

“Maybe try talking to Sam about this?”, he explained to you, gently.

You nodded your head in understanding.

Rhodey went over to talk to Sam while you checked out the other exhibits to give them a little privacy.

You ended up looking at Bucky’s exhibit.

They were displaying those clips of him in the 40s, smiling and free of all the pain, and they made your heart clench in sadness and guilt. He deserved better.

“Still can’t believe bionic staring machine was a heartbreaker back then”, you heard Sam’s voice behind you.

You looked at him and smirked.

“As if he’s not a heartbreaker anymore. Those baby blue’s? Could break a grandma’s heart too, which is funny because he would still be older than her”, you joked and looked back at the display.

Sam stood to your right with his hands in his pockets. He laughed at your joke and looked up at the TV displaying Steve and Bucky together.

He let out a sigh and brought his lips together in a thin line.

You looked over to him and studied his profile observed the way he carried tension in his shoulders.

“Penny for your thoughts?”, you asked him gently.

He shut his eyes and looked down, letting out another deep sigh.

“Kid…I’m sorry”, he said, his voice heavy with guilt.

You furrowed your brows.

“For what?”, you asked, genuinely confused.

Sam finally looked up at you with teary eyes. His brows scrunched together.

“Everything. The accords…Rhodey’s acci- injuries. For-for not making an attempt to maintain contact with you, for-”

“Hey. Don’t. I’m not angry about any of that. I never was. And I will never hold a grudge against anyone that wasn’t on my da- on our side”, you cut him off and explained to him firmly. “And if Rhodey isn’t upset about his accident, then who am I to question it? I know you didn’t dodge. It was an accident. I saw the footage way back then, Sam”, you laid your hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

He was overcome with emotion. He deflated as if years’ worth of weight on his shoulders had been lifted off of him. He simply nodded his head.

“If anything, I’m sorry. For everything you had to go through. I hope you’re doing better, now”, you continued.

Sam gave you a half smile.

“Yeah, I’m good. Helpin’ out my sister with the house and my nephews.”

You raised your eyebrows, surprised. You didn’t know he had a sister or nephews.

Sam chuckled. “Yeah…I got a younger sister and 2 nephews— AJ and Cass.”

You smiled. “I had no idea. I’m glad you guys can live together again”, you replied sincerely.

“Thank you, kid. I had no idea you’re so….nice”, he smirked.

You let out a loud laugh. Contrary to popular belief and rumours, you were a good and polite kid. Your dad, Pepper, Rhodey and Happy made sure of that. It was always funny to find out how people would judge you on the basis of your last name. But, it could also be because of your resting bitch face.

Both of you quieted down and looked at the display once again, when you decided to finally bring it up.

“Sam, why’d you give up the shield?”, you asked curiously.

He pursed his lips.

“That shield is heavy. And I don’t know if this country is ready to see a man like me bear the weight of it. No matter how many times everyone keeps telling me that it was Steve’s choice, they don’t know the consequences of me being Captain America until they wear my shoes. Steve didn’t know it either because at the end of the day, our skin colour doesn’t match and that isn’t suitable for the shield”, he replied heavily.

It felt like someone had put cold water on top of you, his words cutting straight through your ignorance. The pressure that Sam was undergoing would never be understood by anyone who didn’t look like him. That’s why Rhodey was so understanding of his decision.

You straightened up.

“Oh. Sam, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”, you paused to gather your thoughts and word them carefully. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I should’ve known better. I understand. And I respect your decision”, you replied, genuine understanding dripping from your words.

Sam looked at you, surprised. He wasn’t expecting you to understand his situation.

“That’s- it’s..alright kid. Thank you for understanding me. It means a lot”, he replied sincerely and patted your shoulder.

You were about to take his leave when he spoke up.

“Listen, I got a proposal for you.”

You quirked an eyebrow.

“Just…hear me out, okay? Rhodey told me to keep an eye out for you whenever he’s busy. Says you do well with discipline in your routine. If you don’t mind, you could join me and help me out with the tech stuff, you know?”, he said hesitantly.

You were about to deny his offer when he put his hands out in a placating gesture.

“I know, it’s been a long time. You’re not interested in this stuff anymore. But I could use some extra hands and who better than a Stark to help out with technology, right? And, who knows, maybe you’ll make a friend”, he tried to convince you.

“A friend? You think I’m some loner or what, Wilson? (You kind of were, a loner, but we will ignore that.) And just who is this friend?”, you asked him with narrowed eyes.

“He’s my new team member. A tech savvy nerd, like you. You’ll get along, trust me. Except I’ll warn you, that boy yaps a Lot”, Sam replied while chuckling.

That sounded way too familiar to you. You immediately froze and just stared at Sam, lost in thought. All those unwanted and painful memories were coming back to you.

Sam put his hand on your shoulder and you snapped out of your stupor.

“You don’t have to answer me immediately. Take your time, the offer is always open for you. Okay?”, he asked hopefully, ever the optimistic counselor.

You let out a big sigh.

“I don’t know. I’ll see”, you murmured. You could feel that uneasy feeling creep up your veins that told you to shut down, keep everyone away and to run somewhere far away where you could be isolated in peace.

You were finally feeling comfortable in your little bubble that consisted of you, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy and Morgan. Now you had to go out and make yourself accommodating and welcoming again. You had to repeat everything and start from scratch. It was a lot. You were not ready for that.

Healing is never linear, you knew that. But you were doing so well for the past two months. You clenched your fists and begged your mind to keep it together. You were pretty good at masking it.

Sam just nodded his head and patted your arm.

“Come on, I’ll walk you and Rhodey off.”

You both returned to Rhodey and said your goodbyes.

“See ya, old man. Take care of yo’self, alright?”, Sam said while hugging Rhodey.

“You too, Wilson”, Rhodey said before breaking the hug and patting Sam’s back.

“I’m proud of you, Sam. Never forget that”, Rhodey said gently.

Sam just smiled weakly and patted Rhodey’s shoulder before turning to look at you.

You looked at him and gave him a barely there smile before surprising him with a hug. You don’t know what came over you but you just wanted him to know that you appreciated his support and the conversation that you two had back there. Your words failed you, so you did the next best thing you knew– a hug.

He looked at Rhodey over your shoulder and patted your back like an older brother.

“Take care, kid. Think about what I said”, he said after breaking off the hug.

You simply nodded your head yes.

“And both of you are invited to the family cookout, alright? Rhodes, make sure you bring them with you. Sarah makes a mean cornbread”, Sam says while pointing at you.

Rhodey chuckles and you grin before departing.

You sat in the car and looked out of the window, deep in thought. You were processing your conversation with Sam and debating whether you should join him, or not. You couldn’t help but keep thinking about this friend that he mentioned and how he reminded you too much of-

“Whatcha thinkin’?”, Rhodey asked lightly, as if to not startle you.

You glanced back at him and turned your attention to the front of the car. You sighed softly.

“Had a good chat with Sam. We apologised to each other and sorted out our misconceptions.”

“That’s good, right?”, Rhodey asked and tilted his head to look at you.

You nodded. “Yeah. It was really nice to clear all of that up. He’s so…lovely to talk to. We also talked about his decision to give up the shield. I felt so stupid when he explained it to me. How could I not understand that beforehand?”, you said while clenching your jaw, feeling guilty for judging his decision.

Rhodey gave you a soft smile.

“Atleast you’re self-aware, sweetheart”, he said lightly.

You finally gave him a smile.

“Yeah. He also gave me an offer. To join him”, you said hesitantly.

Rhodey smirked knowingly. Sam had already discussed this with him.

“And? What’re you thinking?”, Rhodey asked nonchalantly so as to not freak you out.

You let out a deep breath.

“I don’t know. I’ll think over it”, you replied with finality in your tone.

Rhodey felt the walls build up again so he backed off instead of pestering you to talk more.

“That’s okay. You can take all the time you want, kid. There’s no rush”, Rhodey said sincerely.

You looked at him and squeezed his hand.

“Shall we go get that ice-cream now, your highness?”, Rhodey joked.

You finally let out a chuckle and nodded your head yes before turning your attention back towards the window. You let out a sigh.

You were not going to get any sleep tonight.

Part 2

—————————————————————————

AN: Whew. This was so LONG, I’m so sorry. 😭🙏 but I just couldn’t stop writing because I love me a stark!reader as that’s literally me but also I needed some found family content + closure between the stark family and the cap fam, too. Which is why I had to break it in 2 parts. Our lovebirds will meet in the 2nd part. Keep guessing the references and this mystery person until then.😛 thank you for reading!

[buckyseternaldoll]

I just wanted to say I loooove your bucky fics you write him so well 🥹🥹 if you are taking requests I have one for a bucky x reader where reader is sent to infiltrate/kill the thunderbolt but falls in love instead...cue the angst 🫢 feel free to ignore if it doesn't spark inspiration!!

Sorry for the delay, anon! Work’s been hectic and I haven’t been getting much sleep lately. But I really hope this was worth the wait. Thank you so much for requesting it!

𝓐 𝓑𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓦𝓪𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓓*𝓮

Summary: You were sent to kill the Thunderbolts. One bullet, one order, one clean exit. But you didn’t plan to fall in love with the man meant to die.

Disclaimer: suicidal self-sacrifice, blood/gore (not explicit), gun violence, emotional manipulation, grief, PTSD themes, explosive death, mentions of brainwashing/conditioning, guilt, betrayal, angst, reader is a double agent, team betrayal, final letter reading, quiet emotional breakdown, canon divergent

Word count: 6.3k

Author's Note: This involves multiple drafts being scrapped and me having mental breakdown in the midst of building the story 😔 Skipped formatting and not beta-d since it lags soooo much

They brought you in a few months after the Thunderbolts were formed.

You were no one special to them—just another weapon Valentina dusted off from some covert pile. Quiet, capable. A ghost in well-fitted tactical gear. Your aim was clean, your hand-to-hand record even cleaner. No frills, no baggage. You didn’t complain, didn’t ask questions, didn’t smile unless you needed to.

They didn’t welcome you, not really. But they didn’t reject you either.

You just… slipped in. Like water through cracks in the concrete. Like you were always there, just out of frame. A shadow that learned to cast itself beside theirs.

The team was a mess of personalities and pasts—grudges, trauma, sarcasm used like armor. They weren’t a unit. They were chaos stitched together with fraying thread. Nobody had room to hold anyone else’s weight. Not yours.

That was fine.

You weren’t here to belong.

You were here to finish the mission.

And you were very, very good at missions.

They didn’t know that while you watched their six from rooftops and cleared sniper nests with a single squeeze of your trigger… you were also out there every other night finishing jobs. Assassinations, poisonings, clean headshots behind diplomatic curtains. You slipped from the Watchtower like smoke, killed high-profile names while they slept, and came back just in time to pour yourself coffee and sit across from Bucky like nothing had happened.

Nobody questioned it. Not Valentina. Not Ava. Not even Sentry, with all his golden god perception.

You played emotion like a language. Smiled when needed. Looked tired when appropriate. Let your voice tremble just enough in mission briefs to seem human. It was all curated. Fabricated.

The only thing real was the mission.

Sunset Ops: Infiltrate. Observe. Eliminate. Terminate all Thunderbolts assets. Especially Bob Reynolds. Too unstable. Too dangerous.

So you studied them.

Learned how each one moved, fought, cracked under pressure. Mapped out their body language like pressure points on a doll. Even without the full spectrum of feelings, you could read them. You knew when Bob needed silence, when Yelena needed space, when Bucky needed grounding. Memorized the Watchtower’s layout until you could escape it blindfolded with one foot injured. You knew which rooms had faulty cameras. Which corridors echoed too loud. Which doors creaked.

You logged their weaknesses like you were sketching blueprints for destruction.

But somewhere along the way…

You started noticing the wrong things.

The quiet things.

You watched how Ava always kept one boot on when she slept, her back to the wall. How she blinked a few too many times when someone raised their voice, like her mind flinched faster than her body.

How John’s jaw clenched just slightly whenever someone mentioned Steve Rogers, the name sitting in his spine like a splinter.

How Bob could go full days without speaking, without moving much at all—book in hand, presence barely there. But Bucky always passed him tea. No one told him to. No one asked. He just did.

And Bucky…

You didn’t want to notice him.

Bucky Barnes.

He looked like he’d been tired for a hundred years. Like the world still sat too heavy on his shoulders. But he stood anyway. Always. Steady.

He spoke in short sentences, mostly to Valentina, sometimes to the team. But he spoke to you more than anyone else. Always in a voice softer than the one he used in briefings. Almost low. Almost careful.

He was the only one who’d repeat mission points when the room turned chaotic—when Ava and John argued or when Sentry’s grip on reality wavered. He’d calmly re-brief, every damn time, like he didn’t expect anyone to listen the first time. Like he understood.

He hovered behind the girls during recon. Watched corners others forgot. Subtle, silent coverage. When Ava limped, he adjusted his pace. When Valentina snapped too hard, he’d find a way to redirect the energy without saying much at all.

And then it got worse.

He noticed you.

“You changed your hair,” he said one morning, nonchalant but precise. You had—just shifted your part from left to right.

You blinked. “What?”

He shrugged. Didn’t look up from his gear. “Just looked different today.”

It wasn’t flirtation. It wasn’t even attention. It was just… observation. Like he was tracking you. Like he cared.

And it shouldn’t have made your skin warm like it did. It shouldn’t have made your stomach pull tight.

So you tried harder to ignore it.

You sharpened your knives with more force. You shot straighter. You reported back to your handlers late, but still lied and told them everything was on track. You told yourself it didn’t matter.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it?

Somewhere along the line, it stopped feeling like a mission.

And that scared you more than anything else.

—

You filed daily reports at first.

Detailed. Precise. Flawless.

“Walker has a blind spot on his right after shield recoil. Ava’s new phase control burns more energy than she lets on. Bob’s mental stability slips most severely after missions involving children.”

And Bucky?

You used to write plenty about him too. His reloading patterns. His soft knee from a past break. The way he always checked corners counter-clockwise. You studied him like you were supposed to—like a threat.

But over time… your reports on him thinned.

His name appeared less. Then barely at all.

You didn’t mean to do it. You just… stopped seeing him as an objective. You noticed less of his weaknesses and more of his habits. The way he always smelled faintly like gun oil and cedar soap. The creak of his boots when he walked into the briefing room two minutes early. How he’d look straight at you when he spoke—low voice, never rushed—like his words were meant for you and no one else.

You hadn’t written anything about him for almost three weeks.

And without knowing it… he’d become your weakness.

You just didn’t realize that yet.

—

Your handlers noticed.

They didn’t send questions. They sent silence.

And silence from them always meant danger.

They read your shortened logs like confessions. Words tapering off, softer, lazier. You said less. You felt more. They didn’t like it.

So they decided to act.

Without you.

You didn’t know the countdown had begun.

—

You kept spending time with Bucky.

Accidentally, at first.

The pantry was always cold after midnight, humming soft from overworked fridges and coffee machines. You wandered in for a tea packet and found him there—quietly nursing black coffee, leaning against the counter like he was trying to stay grounded.

He barely looked at you the first time.

Second time, he nodded.

By the fourth, he spoke.

“You always come here this late?”

You shrugged, fingertips brushing the countertop. “I like the silence. And the view’s better from the helipad, but pantry’s warmer.”

He chuckled. Low, quiet, barely there—but it was real.

The next night, he joined you on the helipad.

You told him you liked the way the sky looked from up there. “Makes me feel like I belong,” you’d said, without realizing how honest it sounded.

He didn’t mock you. Didn’t press.

He just sat beside you, thigh brushing yours, both of you watching the stars in silence like the war down below didn’t exist for a few stolen minutes.

After that, he started showing up more.

Lingered in rooms after everyone left. Walked beside you in hallways. Ate slower when you were around. Sat closer during meetings. Spoke softer when he addressed you, voice low enough to catch but not loud enough for anyone else.

And you—without realizing—became his shadow.

You started knowing where he was without needing to ask. If he wasn’t in the debriefing room, you didn’t look lost—you just turned and started walking, already knowing he’d be in the armory, reassembling his sidearm with his brows drawn.

You knew how he took his lunch. How he drank his coffee. You handed him his usual before he even asked. He didn’t comment. Just gave you that look again—a quiet, unreadable one, like he was trying to figure you out but wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

You even started completing his sentences.

Not on purpose. It just happened.

One day in the war room, he said, “We’ll need someone to cover the west corridor if—”

“If Ava’s phasing eats her charge, yeah,” you murmured.

He looked at you. Slightly stunned. The room went quiet.

Alexei, across the table, barked out a laugh. “Is she your translator now, Bucky? Or did you finally clone yourself, huh?”

John snorted. “She’s even got his grunt down.”

You should’ve laughed it off. Should’ve shrugged and played it cool.

But Bucky just stared at you—something unreadable flickering in those tired steel-blue eyes. Not cold. Not suspicious.

Just… aware.

And maybe a little afraid.

Of you.

Or of himself.

—

The mission wasn’t supposed to go south.

Just a recon—clear terrain, tag enemy movement, and get out before anyone noticed you were there. You weren’t expecting the sniper.

No one was.

You’d felt it before you heard it—a shift in air, a crack that split the sky—and then pain. White-hot, slicing past your cheek like fire.

You staggered back, dizzy from the force. Would’ve fallen, exposed, right in the shooter’s path if a wall of metal hadn’t slammed in front of you.

Bucky.

His vibranium arm took the full hit.

You heard him grunt. A second shot followed—this one slicing across his side—but he didn’t move. He stayed in front of you. Stayed.

Return fire crackled across the trees. John and Ava covered the ridge. Alexei roared something in Russian and hurled a metal crate for cover.

But you were still there, pressed to the dirt, cheek wet with blood, staring up at the man who shielded you like you were something precious.

He looked back, breathing hard. “You good?”

You nodded before your voice caught up. “Y-Yeah. I’m—”

You weren’t. Not at all.

—

The extraction was messy. You were all bleeding, but no one died.

Back at the Watchtower, medbay lights hummed above your head as you stood next to Bucky’s cot — your fingers ghosting over gauze, trembling only when he wasn’t looking.

You insisted on treating his side. Brushed off the team medic. You didn’t even realize you were snapping at people until Alexei raised his brows and said, “She’s got it. Let the girl fuss.”

Bucky sat still, legs spread, shirt off. Blood dried across his ribs. His body bore too many scars to count. Some clean. Some jagged. Some that looked like they still whispered at night.

You dabbed the wound in silence, watching how his chest rose with every careful breath. Your fingers pressed gentler than needed, like any extra pressure would break him.

“You always this soft when patching people up?” he asked, voice low.

You didn’t answer.

Couldn’t.

Because your chest had started to tighten.

Your hands shook as you wrapped the bandage, and when your palm brushed his skin… something squirmed in your stomach. Not pain. Not adrenaline. Something worse.

Guilt.

You were trained to kill. Not to mourn. Not to care.

But here he was. Bleeding because of you. Standing in front of a bullet that should’ve ended you. Still speaking to you like nothing had changed.

You didn’t deserve it.

“Hey,” Bucky murmured, glancing down, his hand catching your wrist mid-wrap. “Don’t do that.”

You blinked. “Do what?”

He held your stare. Not hard. Not scolding. Just steady. Warm.

“Don’t blame yourself. I’d take that shot again if it meant you walked away. That’s what we do.”

He paused. Let his words settle.

“You and me—we’ve got each other’s backs. That’s the team.”

The word team punched straight through your ribcage.

You dropped your eyes, breath catching in your throat. The back of your throat burned. The sting climbed behind your eyes.

A team.

That felt… warm.

Too warm.

You bit your tongue. Nodded. Tried to keep your face blank.

But the corners of your eyes stung anyway, and Bucky saw it. You knew he did. He didn’t say a word about it. Just let go of your wrist slowly, like he was giving you space to choose what came next.

He didn’t need to say anything.

Because for the first time, you understood what that twisting in your chest was.

Guilt.

Real, human, gut-wrenching guilt.

You weren’t supposed to feel it. You were rewired not to. But he—without even meaning to—was fixing you.

Bit by bit. Wound by wound.

And that terrified you more than any bullet ever could.

You left the medbay long after he’d fallen asleep. The sterile scent clung to your hands. The bandage wrap still burned in your memory.

You needed air. Or silence. Or something to stop the noise in your chest.

—

The Watchtower was dead quiet after midnight.

Most of the others had turned in. Ava left her boots by the door again, probably already passed out in the medbay lounge. John grumbled something about ice packs and disappeared. Alexei had made a dramatic exit, demanding “at least ten hours of heroic sleep.”

You stayed behind.

The pantry lights were dim—yellowed, humming, casting long shadows across the metal counters. You sat at the small table by the window, hands wrapped around a cup of tea that had long since gone cold. The steam was gone. Your thoughts weren’t.

They were loud tonight.

Bucky had taken a bullet for you.

Not just a graze, not an accident. He saw it coming and threw himself in the way. His blood was still under your nails. His voice still echoed in your head:

“We’ve got each other’s backs. That’s the team.”

The word team kept curling up behind your ribs like a hot, painful knot.

You shouldn’t be here. Not like this.

You should’ve been writing reports. Reassessing targets. Preparing for termination. Instead, you were watching the stars reflect off the window and wondering how long it’d take his wound to close.

Your handlers never gave you a deadline for Sunset Ops. The mission was simple: Terminate all Thunderbolts. Clean. Swift. When ready.

No dates.

Just pressure.

But as far as you could tell, the whole thing had gone off course.

Or maybe it went east.

Because Bucky was sitting on your east side now. He sat close, shoulder angled slightly toward you, his left side—the wounded one—facing you. A quiet show of trust.

From the corner of your eye, you noticed the edge of the bandage peeking beneath his shirt—left side, under the ribs. Healing fast, but it still made you wince.

You hadn’t even heard him come in.

He didn’t speak. Didn’t grunt or ask what you were doing.

He just sat beside you, like he always did lately. Like here was the only place he wanted to be.

You didn’t look at him right away.

You were too afraid the tears still burning behind your eyes would show. So you just stared at your cup, letting the silence stretch.

And he let it.

Like he knew.

Eventually, your gaze shifted. Just slightly. Just enough to study him from the corner of your eye. His side—where you’d dressed the wound—was bare beneath his black tee, the bandages no longer needed. The skin had already begun healing. Faint scar tissue. Bruising. But no open wound.

Super soldier perks.

You exhaled, slow and quiet.

Somehow, that made it worse.

You wanted to be relieved. But all it did was make your chest ache.

He turned his head toward you then, as if sensing you needed it. His eyes were tired, but soft. Kind.

He didn’t ask what was wrong.

Instead, he said, “You ever get so many thoughts running at once, they just… start screaming over each other?”

You blinked, startled by how close he came to naming it.

He kept going. “Like… nothing’s clear. Everything’s loud. And no matter how long you sit with it, the decision just… won’t come. ‘Cause it doesn’t feel like any of the choices are good ones.”

Your throat went tight.

He glanced down, mouth twitching at one corner. “Yeah. I’ve been there.”

The silence that followed felt warmer than it should’ve. He didn’t press. Didn’t look at you like you were a ticking bomb.

Just… let you exist beside him.

Then, gently, almost like an afterthought, he added, “You’re a good person.”

You finally turned to him, stunned.

He didn’t look away.

“A damn good teammate,” he continued. “Reliable. Smart. And you don’t leave anyone behind.” He paused. “I’m… glad you’re with us.”

You swallowed. Your mouth was too dry. Your eyes burned.

“And whatever it is… whatever’s going on in your head,” he said softly, “I know you’ll do what’s right. Not just for you. But for everyone.”

His hand came to your shoulder. Light. Steady. A squeeze that was too short, too innocent, too much.

Then he stood.

“Get some rest,” he murmured. “You think better after sleep.”

And he left.

Just like that.

Left you in the kitchen with a cup of cold tea and a heart that was beating too hard, too fast.

You stared at the door after him, numb and shaking.

And that was when you knew.

You fucking loved him.

Not just wanted. Not just admired.

You loved him.

And there was no mission in the world that could bury that now.

—

Everything changed after that night.

Not in some dramatic, cinematic way.

But in the small ways that mattered.

Your body started betraying you.

The first time Bucky brushed past you in the hallway, your pulse spiked so hard your knees went weak. You recovered instantly—assassin reflexes—but the warmth lingered too long on your skin. A ghost of pressure where his shoulder had bumped yours.

Your hands, steady through sniper fire and open blade fights, now trembled when he entered a room. And you hated it. Hated how your heart wouldn’t obey. How no amount of mental commands could slow its rhythm when he sat too close.

You started avoiding him.

Subtly, at first. Ducking out of briefings early. Choosing the opposite training mat. Sitting two chairs over at meal times. But Bucky noticed.

Of course he did.

He didn’t push. Just watched you more.

And the others noticed too.

Yelena had that way of looking at people like she was five steps ahead in the conversation. Bob tilted his head a little too long during recon drills when you answered Bucky’s questions too fast. Ava kept giving you looks like she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the right shape for it.

Even Alexei, with all his chaotic noise, leaned over one day in the gym and grumbled, “The sexual tension is making my joints stiff. Resolve it before I die of awkward.”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t.

Because nothing about this was resolvable.

Until Yelena forced your hand.

—

It was a fake debrief. You realized it too late.

Yelena set the time. “Just you and Bucky,” she said. “Team’s scattered. Intel recon. Blah blah. Just go.” She winked as she walked off. ‘Fix your sexual tension, or I’ll do it for you.’ Classic Yelena.

You didn’t think much of it. Your brain had been foggy for days, caught between the magnetic pull and the dagger in your chest. You walked into the room like you always did—rigid, unreadable. But then you saw the setup.

One table. Two chairs.

No files. No mission board. Just… space.

Bucky was already sitting, one hand loosely curled around a pen. He glanced up at you like he’d been expecting this. Like he knew.

You sat.

Silence hung between you, thick and humming. You couldn’t look at him too long without your chest tightening.

Finally, Bucky spoke. Low. Cautious. “Everyone thinks we fought.”

You gave a quiet, humorless huff. “Let them.”

“Yelena doesn’t believe in letting.”

He wasn’t wrong.

The silence returned for a beat, before you broke it. Your voice was quieter than you meant it to be. “I’ve never felt this before.”

Bucky frowned. “What?”

You lifted your eyes, met his. “Anything. Beyond adrenaline, I mean. I don’t know guilt. I don’t know joy. I didn’t know what warmth felt like until… until I met you. All of you.”

You swallowed. Your throat ached.

“My emotions weren’t brainwashed out of me. I was just… rewired. Hydra called it streamlining. Cut out what made me hesitate. Joy, guilt, love—just noise to them. I was left with precision, and silence. Kept the things that made me efficient. But lately…”

You couldn’t say it. Couldn’t put words to the way your stomach curled when Bucky leaned too close, or how your chest hurt when he took a bullet for you.

Instead, you said, “It’s like my circuits are shorting.”

His eyes softened.

“I used to think it was just me,” he said, voice low, gravel warm. “The way I feel things. Too slow. Too much. Too wrong. But you…”

He leaned back slightly, studying you like you were a mystery he’d started to understand without needing all the clues.

“You feel like… familiarity.”

You looked up, startled.

“I didn’t get it at first. Why I felt calm when you were around. Why I stopped checking exits when you were on mission with me.” He paused. “But now it makes sense.”

His voice dipped.

“You’re like me.”

That hit deeper than you expected. Your heart clenched so hard you thought it might bruise.

“You put your back to the wall when you sit down. You remember who limps and who flinches. You memorize everyone else’s scars, but forget to name your own.”

You stayed quiet, afraid your voice would break.

“I don’t know what this is between us,” Bucky said softly. “But it doesn’t scare me.”

You turned your head away. Your chest felt too full, too raw.

Then you felt it—his hand brushing yours on the table. Not grabbing. Not demanding. Just there.

“You don’t have to fix anything tonight,” he said. “But I hope you stop running. ‘Cause I’m not chasing you. I’m just… here.”

Your fingers curled slightly beneath his. Just enough.

You still couldn’t say the words. Not yet.

But part of you cracked open.

And part of him healed.

—

It started like a blackout.

You were all in the lounge—sore, half-bored, scattered across couches and chairs. Alexei was snoring with his feet on the coffee table, Yelena had commandeered the remote, John was bickering with Bob over something dumb like fuel ratios, and Bucky was sitting near you, shoulders barely brushing, warm and solid.

And then the lights snapped off.

Not flickered. Not dimmed.

Snapped.

The hum of the Watchtower died. Silence folded in on itself. Thick. Too thick.

Everyone stilled.

“Okay,” Alexei muttered, sitting up. “Not funny. Who touch fuse?”

“No one moved,” Ava whispered, already pulling a blade from her boot.

Your stomach dropped.

The silence wasn’t just silence.

It was controlled. Medicated.

You felt it in your teeth. That hum just under hearing. Synthetic.

Then—

thfft.

A whisper.

A bullet.

Glass shattered above Yelena’s head.

Another shot.

John tackled Bob behind the couch. Ava rolled forward into a low crouch. Alexei stood tall, eyes flaring wild.

Chaos.

Gunfire—soft, silenced, precise—sang through the darkness. Not random. Coordinated. Like they knew every hallway. Every blind spot. Every weak point.

And they did.

Your blood went cold.

“No—no, no, no—” you breathed, heart pounding as the pieces snapped together too fast.

You knew this pattern. This kill sequence. This method of entry.

These weren’t just attackers.

They were operatives.

Yours.

“Everyone GET DOWN!” you shouted, drawing your sidearm. “They’re enhanced!”

Bucky pulled you behind the reinforced wall near the stairwell, instinct taking over. “Enhanced? How the hell do you—”

“They’re on serum,” you gasped. “Not ours. Not the government’s. It’s… it’s Barnes-adjacent. It’s your blood.”

Everything froze around you for a second.

Even the storm of bullets.

Bucky’s eyes locked with yours. “What?”

You didn’t get to answer.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?” Yelena barked across the hall, ducking behind cover. Her voice was razor-sharp. Furious. “How the hell do you know that?!”

You looked at her. Your mouth opened.

Nothing came out.

You couldn’t say it. Not here. Not with blood in the air and Bucky breathing like a loaded weapon beside you.

All you could whisper was:

“I’m sorry.”

You hadn’t meant for it to unravel like this.

You wanted to explain. To beg. To scream that you weren’t who you were anymore.

But the way Yelena looked at you?

Like you were a ghost wearing someone they trusted.

That hurt worse than any bullet.

Ava swore under her breath. Her voice wasn’t loud, but it cut deep—quiet fury wrapped in restraint. She didn’t yell. Ava never did. But her silence hurt more. John looked like he was ready to knock your teeth out.

But you couldn’t afford guilt right now.

Because they were coming in fast.

Bucky grabbed your arm. “Talk later. Move now.”

You nodded. Shoved everything down.

But he didn’t let go of your wrist.

Even as you ducked bullets, even as Sentry finally emerged—Bucky stayed on you.

You knew what he was doing.

He was protecting you.

Still.

Even now.

He didn’t know.

Didn’t know you brought this death to their doorstep. That you’d once been meant to end them. That those enhanced soldiers out there moved like you, because you trained with them.

They were your people.

And now they were going to kill your team.

Unless you killed them first.

—

The base was a war zone now.

Shots echoed off the walls in too-close succession. Bob had gone full Sentry—gold and energy and rage splitting the darkness like lightning. Ava was phasing in and out of walls, striking when she could. John and Alexei moved with brutal force, backs to each other like mismatched chess pieces. Yelena was leading the counter, deadly efficient—graceful and unforgiving.

And you were barely breathing.

Bucky had pulled you into a weapons cache room on the eastern side of the Watchtower. Emergency lighting flickered overhead, casting him in strips of red and shadow. He looked like a man caught between two mirrors—one past, one future.

He didn’t ask if you were okay.

He just looked at you with those piercing, tired eyes and said:

“It’s them, isn’t it?”

You froze. Couldn’t lie.

He already knew.

You nodded once.

Bucky exhaled slowly, the kind of breath that sounded like it came from years ago.

You both moved in sync—sweeping shelves for guns, blades, anything with weight and range. It was instinctive. Familiar. Like you’d trained together for years.

Because in some ways… you had.

Not literally.

But emotionally.

Same pain. Same silence. Same shadows.

“I didn’t want this,” you whispered, voice thin.

“I know,” he said. Soft. Certain.

You turned toward him. “How can you say that?”

He met your gaze without flinching. “Because I see it in your eyes. The same thing I used to see in mine when I started remembering who I was.”

Your throat tightened.

“You’re not like them anymore,” he continued. “You were. But you’re not now.”

You looked down at your shaking hands. “I was supposed to kill you.”

“I figured,” he said, picking up a loaded rifle without pause.

“I studied you. Every breath. Every weakness. I memorized your scars.”

He stepped closer.

“And then you stopped.”

You froze.

“You stopped seeing me as a target. I felt it.”

You looked up at him, heart thudding.

He didn’t touch you. Didn’t need to.

“I trusted the wrong people for a long time,” he said. “But this time? I think I got it right.”

Your eyes burned. “Bucky…”

He offered the smallest, saddest smile. “You’re not broken. Just bruised.”

Something inside you cracked.

But before you could speak again—an explosion rocked the east wing.

They were getting closer.

You both turned toward the hallway. The reinforced door rattled under pressure. Gunfire grew louder. Footsteps closing in. The serum-enhanced agents were breaching fast.

Bucky checked the last clip on his belt. “We won’t hold them all.”

You were already thinking three steps ahead.

No escape routes.

Too many incoming.

And they wouldn’t stop until every Thunderbolt was dead.

Unless someone stopped them first.

You looked down at your belt.

Saw the grenade.

Felt the pin.

And something inside you just… clicked.

You turned to him.

“Bucky.”

He turned too—eyes narrowing at the change in your voice.

You stepped forward. Closer than you’d ever dared.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

His brow furrowed. “You already said that.”

“No.” You shook your head. “I mean it now. For everything. For hurting you. For being what I was. For not telling you sooner. For not choosing you faster.”

His eyes flickered—realization starting to settle.

“I never knew what love was,” you said, chest aching with every word. “But I think I’ve been falling into it… every second you looked at me like I was worth saving.”

You reached up—fingers trembling—and touched his cheek. Just once.

He closed his eyes at the contact. Just for a second.

Then you stepped back.

He looked down.

Saw the pin in your fingers.

His breath caught.

“No—wait—”

But it was too late.

You were already walking toward the door. The lock was off. The hallway was crawling with enhanced assassins, heads turning the moment they saw you.

You didn’t raise your gun.

You raised your voice.

“HEY!”

They turned.

Then—

Click.

The pin dropped.

You smiled through the tears.

And you whispered, one last time, only loud enough for Bucky to hear:

“I love you.”

Then light.

And sound.

And silence.

—

You were gone before he could say it back.

The silence that followed wasn’t peaceful. It was final.

And then…

[BUCKY POV]

The explosion didn’t sound like the others.

It was too close.

Too sharp.

Too personal.

Bucky’s ears rang as he hit the floor from the shockwave, arm curled over his head, the force punching the air from his lungs.

Smoke. Heat. Screams in the hallway.

And the smell.

Blood.

He didn’t get up right away.

Not because he couldn’t.

Because he knew.

His heart already knew before his mind caught up.

When he finally staggered upright, debris crunched under his boots. The hallway outside the weapons room was scorched. Burnt. Red-lit. Torn apart.

So were the bodies.

The enhanced assassins were in pieces.

And so were you.

Bits of tactical fabric. A smear of blood that didn’t match theirs. A melted commlink. One boot. Nothing whole.

Nothing human left to hold.

Bucky didn’t breathe for several seconds.

He just stood there, staring, like the floor had been yanked out from under time itself.

You were gone.

And all you’d left behind was—

“I love you.”

He heard it in his head again. Not a memory. A scar.

Not just in his ears.

In his chest.

The others came running.

Ava first, phasing through the wall with wide eyes.

Then John, Yelena, Alexei. Sentry stumbling down the hall, Bob’s gold aura flickering wildly as he saw the mess.

No one said anything.

They didn’t need to.

Bucky stood in the middle of it, barely blinking. Smoke curling around his shoulders. Blood drying on his neck. His vibranium arm still clenched, shaking slightly.

“She was one of them,” Yelena said first, breathless. “Wasn’t she?”

A pause.

Bucky didn’t look up.

“She was.”

No one moved.

“She was,” Bucky said again, softer now. “But she chose us.”

Alexei rubbed a hand over his face. “She blew herself up, Bucky.”

“She saved us,” Bucky snapped—his voice like breaking glass. “You all saw those bastards. They wouldn’t have stopped. She ended it.”

Silence.

“She ended herself,” John muttered, not cruel—just stunned. “For us.”

No one could speak after that.

Bucky crouched slowly. Picked up the pin from the grenade. Closed his metal fist around it.

He didn’t cry.

Not yet.

He just stood again—taller this time. Cold. Steady. Determined.

“I’m going to finish it,” he said, eyes locked on the smoldering hallway. “Every one of those fuckers that sent her here? That trained her? That broke her?”

His voice dropped.

“I’ll put them all in the ground.”

He started walking.

“Bucky—where are you going?” Ava called.

He didn’t stop.

“To let her free.”

[END OF POV]

—

The funeral was held three days after the raid.

By then, the Thunderbolts had burned the organization to the ground.

Valentina turned a blind eye when Bucky led the charge—files torn apart, facilities reduced to rubble, scientists and operatives arrested or buried beneath collapsed concrete. She didn’t protest. Just signed the paperwork and moved pieces on her board like it was always part of the plan. The team freed over seventy civilians—stolen from their lives, used for testing, stripped of their names.

They had faces. Families. Futures again.

But none of it made him feel any less hollow.

Because you were still gone.

The grave was symbolic.

There wasn’t much to bury.

A few fragments of armor. A nameplate. A pin.

The others stood in silence as the dirt fell—John with his jaw clenched, Ava still and guarded, Alexei weeping more openly than anyone expected. Bob, back in control of his form, said a few soft words. Yelena whispered a goodbye in Russian, kneeling once before stepping back.

Bucky didn’t move.

He stood at the foot of the grave, fists buried in the pockets of his coat, eyes fixed on the carved letters of your name.

His throat felt too tight to speak.

He hadn’t said anything.

Not during the ceremony. Not after the debrief. Not since you—

God.

He hadn’t even told you.

He hadn’t told you he loved you back.

Hadn’t told you how many times he looked for your face in a crowded room, just to ground himself. How you’d become his anchor without him realizing it.

The world around him kept moving. Soil crunching. People whispering. Wind brushing over forgotten flowers.

But he stayed still. Like grief had nailed his boots to the earth.

Until a quiet step pulled him back.

“Bucky.”

Ava’s voice broke through gently.

He turned his head. She approached with quiet steps, something small in her gloved hand.

“I found this,” she said softly. “Yelena and I were clearing her room. Val sent a few people to box her things, but… we stopped them when we found it.”

She handed him an envelope.

Your handwriting. Sharp. Small. Tilted slightly to the right.

His name.

Just his.

He stared at it for a long time before opening it.

And then, with frozen fingers and a heart breaking open, he read.

—

Bucky,

If you’re reading this… It means I didn’t make it.

And no, I didn’t write that to be dramatic. I wrote it because I knew I was playing with borrowed time.

I was going to tell you everything. I was going to stand in front of all of you, explain who I was—who I used to be—and pray you’d all listen before judging. Before hating me.

I was scared.

Not of dying.

Not even of the mission.

I was scared of what it meant to feel.

Because I never really did before.

But then you came in with your tired eyes and your quiet voice and your kindness that didn’t ask for anything in return… and suddenly I couldn’t stop feeling.

I noticed you first.

Noticed how you always stood with your back to a wall, but left your side open when I entered the room. Like you trusted me.

Noticed how your voice got softer when you talked to me. How you lingered in rooms we shared. How you remembered my schedule better than I did. How you watched the stars when you thought no one was looking.

I watched you, too.

More than I was supposed to.

More than I meant to.

And somewhere between the long nights and the briefings and the bruises and the silences… I fell in love with you.

I think I’ve been in love with you longer than I even knew what it was.

I knew they were growing suspicious. I should’ve said something sooner. But I didn’t—I was selfish. I wanted more time. Time with you, with the Thunderbolts. And I’m sorry. I really am.

And if I was lucky enough to survive long enough to confess, I was going to ask the team to let me do one thing first—I was going to destroy my handlers.

I was going to take everything I knew and burn them from the inside out.

Then come back. Then tell you. All of you.

But mostly you.

Because you deserved the truth.

And you deserved someone who chose you.

So here’s my truth.

I loved you, Bucky Barnes.

Not because you saved me. But because you saw me. And I hope, wherever I am now… I’ll keep watching over you.

Like I always did.

Love,

—Yours

P.S. If I ever get another chance—in this life or the next—please let it be with you.

—

By the time he reached the bottom of the letter, his hand was shaking.

His mouth parted. His chest ached like something had caved in.

He closed his eyes.

And for the first time in years…

He let himself cry.

Not in rage.

Not in shame.

But in grief.

And love.

[wildflowersandvibranium]

Say That Again

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Gender Neutral!Reader

Summary: A quiet change in Bucky’s behavior turns into a painful truth: he’s losing his hearing. As he battles the weight of this new reality, you stay beside him learning, adapting, and loving him in every unspoken way.

Word Count: 2k ish

Warmings/Tags: Angsty parts but also fluff. Friends to Lovers <3

Bucky gets injured on mission , mentions of blood , injury , hydra , non graphic torture , hearing loss/hard of hearing , kissing , sign language , brief buckys sad feelings i think thats itttttt

if I missed anything let me know!

Authors Note: the love ive been getting recenlty is making my heart explode!!! i do plan on making series and or just multipart stories but i just get so much inspiration i have to make them into one shots! i have 2 more fully written fics after this im posting soon enjoyyyyy bbys

REQUESTS / ASK IS ALWAYS OPEN MY MASTERLIST

COMMENTS / REBLOGS AND LIKES ARE LOVED AND ENCORAGED!!!

The first time you noticed something was off, you were curled up next to Bucky on the avengers compound’s massive sectional couch, a bowl of popcorn between you and a rom com flashing across the screen. 

He laughed a full five seconds after the joke, and when you glanced sideways, he just gave you a sheepish grin and reached for more popcorn popping it in his mouth.

You didn’t think much of it.

The second time, he didn’t hear you call his name. Not even once—though you’d said it twice, standing barely a few feet away in the kitchen.

“Bucky?” you tried again, louder, eyebrows knitting.

He turned finally, blinking like he was just waking from a dream. “Huh? sorry , say that again?”

You frowned a little, but again, brushed it off as you repeated what you were saying.

But then it kept happening.

He’d respond with a puzzled “what?” or “huh?” more and more often, even in conversations with the others. 

You’d walk into the room and he’d be blasting the TV at full volume, like an old man stubbornly refusing to admit age was catching up with him.

You started paying attention now.

At breakfast one morning, Sam made a snarky comment across the table. 

Bucky blinked, half-smiled, and clearly didn’t catch a word. You saw it in the way his jaw tensed as he nodded like he understood. He didn’t but he was trying. That was the third or fourth time in a single day.

Later that evening, you caught him in the common area with the subtitles on.

You still didn’t mention it.

Not yet.

Not until the next afternoon, when you walked into the lounge to find him sitting with Steve and Natasha—both of them trying to tell him something. 

Bucky was nodding along, squinting looking at their lips, clearly trying to fill in the blanks. 

You watched him struggle.

That was it.

That little squeeze of your heart and a voice inside you saying: He’s not okay.

You waited until later, when the two of you were alone in the training room, stretching after sparring. 

You leaned back on your hands, catching your breath, watching as he wiped the sweat from his brow with a rag.

“Hey,” you started gently, “can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” He wasn’t looking at you.

“Have you noticed your hearing’s been a little… off?”

He tensed instantly. The towel paused mid-motion, pressed against his jaw. “What?”

Your brow furrowed.

He saw it. Dropped the towel. “You think I can’t hear?”

“I didn’t say that.” You stood up and walked over, meeting his eyes. “But… I think something might be wrong, Buck. You haven’t been hearing people. You crank the TV with subtitles. You’re always saying ‘what’ or ‘huh.’ I think maybe you should see Bruce.”

Bucky looked away sharply, metal fingers curling around the towel like it had insulted him.

“Buck.”

“It’s fine,” he muttered.

“No, it’s not. If it was fine, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

That got him.

He didn’t yell. He didn’t stomp away. He just stood there, chest rising and falling heavily, like the truth of it had been chasing him for months and had finally caught up.

He didn't want hydra to win again , to take another thing from him, especially something like his hearing.

“Just let Bruce take a look,” you whispered. “Please.”

His jaw ticked. “You’ll come with me?”

“Of course , I will.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Bruce was gentle, as always. Precise. Kind.

“Looks like it’s a slow, progressive hearing loss,” he said after several scans and an awkward hour of testing, during which you held Bucky’s hand the whole time. “Could be from the trauma, the cryo stasis, the missions… unfortunately even the serum can’t undo all the damage hydra put on your body.”

Bucky stared down at the floor.

“But you’re not alone,” Bruce added carefully. “We can work on accommodations. Sign language. Tech. Fit for hearing aids eventually, if you want.”

Bucky still didn’t say anything.

You squeezed his hand. “We’ll figure it out , Buck. Together.”

He looked at you then, and there was something unspeakably raw in his eyes. He nodded once, slow and resigned.

Bruce gave you both some space, and after the door shut, you turned to Bucky on the medbed, brushing his hair from his face.

“You okay?”

He shook his head. “I’m so tired.”

“I know.”

“I feel like… I just got used to being normal again. After everything with HYDRA. The nightmares. The triggers. And now this.”

Your heart splintered. You pressed your palm to his cheek. “It doesn’t make you any less, Buck.”

“Maybe not to you.”

“To anyone. But especially to me.”

His eyes searched yours for something, but whatever he saw made him look away. 

He nodded again, and when he stood, you laced your fingers with his—no words needed.

That night, you did your own research. And then you marched to Clint Barton’s room the next morning with determination in your eyes and no time to waste.

“Teach us,” you said. “Please.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Clint was happy to help.

He brought over old training books, videos, and little flashcards. 

He joked through it, but he was thoughtful and careful with both of you, making sure to encourage you and especially Bucky when he got frustrated.

At first, Bucky resisted. He said you didn’t have to do it.

“You’re not the one losing your hearing,” he’d grumble, furrowing his brows as he fumbled a basic phrase.

But you just smiled. “No, but I am your best friend.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

From there, it became your thing.

It started slow—just fingerspelling, little greetings. “Hi” and “bye.” Then names. 

Then more complex things.

When Bucky left for missions, you’d sign from the jet: Bye, Buck.

He’d sign back: Bye, Doll.

Sometimes in the kitchen, when everyone was talking over each other, he’d glance at you and sign: You okay?

You’d answer with a smile and a soft: I’m always okay with you.

Touch, too, became everything.

His hand brushing yours when you handed him a plate. 

Your pinky wrapping around his thumb while walking side-by-side. The back of his fingers tracing your wrist when the compound was loud and the voices too fast.

You understood it better than anyone—he heard you best when you touched him.

Neither of you had said how you felt yet, not really. But you were sure your fingers had already told his.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You woke up to the sound of FRIDAY’s voice, soft but urgent.

  “The team is back. Medical emergency in the hangar. Sergeant Barnes has been injured.”

Your blood turned to ice.

You threw the covers off so fast your foot tangled in them and hit the ground running, still in your sleep shirt, heart hammering louder than your footsteps down the compound hallway.

He was back.

But hurt.

Please not bad. Please not bad. Please.

By the time you reached the landing pad, the quinjet had already arrived. The back doors were open. A team of medics was running down the ramp with a gurney , and Bucky was on it.

“No….no, no—” you gasped, pushing through the crowd. “BUCKY!”

He didn’t respond.

There was blood. 

His entire side was wrapped, stained deep crimson red.

 His face was too pale, eyes closed, lips slightly parted like he was in mid-breath.

Steve caught your shoulders before you could throw yourself on the gurney. “Y/N, hey , listen to me ,he saved them. There was an explosion. Civilians. He dragged them out before the whole roof came down.”

Your throat tightened. “But….he….why isn’t he—?”

“They’re doing everything they can. I promise.”

You couldn’t hear anything else. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

The medics whisked him down the hallway and you followed on autopilot, feet moving even though your mind was stuck somewhere in that split-second when you saw him—unmoving, vulnerable.

Bucky Barnes , your Bucky , had always felt unbreakable. Like the world had shattered around him, but not through him. And now… now he looked too human.

Too breakable.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Hours had passed. 

You waited outside the medbay, pacing the same stretch of white hallway, arms wrapped around yourself. 

Steve brought you coffee you didn’t drink. 

Natasha offered to stay with you, but you waved her off. 

You needed to be alone.

It wasn't until Bruce came out, slow and tired, that you finally sat up.

“He made it through surgery,” he said. “He’s going to be okay.”

You collapsed back into the chair, burying your face in your hands, sobbing with relief. Your body gave out before your mind could.

“He’s not awake yet,” Bruce added. “But you can sit with him.”

You didn’t wait. You ran.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The medical bay was quiet. Cold. Sterile.

You hated it. And you knew Bucky did too.

He lay there hooked up to monitors and IV, his chest rising and falling with the rhythm of beeping machines, his skin still pale but alive.

You sank down into the chair beside him and took his hand. 

His metal one—it was always warmer than people assumed.

 Your thumb traced the edge of his knuckles like you had a hundred times before, but this time you were shaking.

“I thought I lost you,” you whispered.

There was no answer.

Your throat ached. 

Your eyes burned. 

You leaned in close, forehead resting against the bed’s edge, and the words spilled out—because if not now, then when?

“I need you to know something,” you said, voice cracking. “Something I’ve never had the guts to say.”

His hand didn’t move.

“I’m in love with you, Bucky. Not like a little, not like maybe. And I’m scared—God, I’m so scared—because I’ve spent all this time pretending like I’m okay being your best friend, but I’m not. I want more. I always have.”

Still nothing.

You sniffled, lifting your head just enough to wipe your eyes with your sleeve.

“I’ve loved you in every way I could without saying it. I learned your language. I touch you every time I want to say I’m proud of you. Or that I’m glad you’re still here. I use my hands because you couldn’t hear me, but maybe now that you're asleep, you'll be able to hear me just this once…”

You choked out a weak laugh, wiping your face again. Then, slowly, you let your fingers spell it out across his arm.

I love you.

One letter at a time.

And then-

You felt a shift. Movement.

You froze.

His hand twitched in yours.

You looked up so fast your neck cracked. His eyelids fluttered once… twice… and then opened slowly.

“Bucky?” you gasped, rising from the chair.

He blinked, his gaze shifting until it met yours, dazed and glassy—but focused.

You couldn’t speak. You just signed, slowly, with trembling hands: 

Are you okay?

He nodded.

Barely.

Then his hand moved again—his other hand, the human one still hooked to monitors.

His fingers twitched clumsily, you focused and knew what he was trying to sign.

Did you mean it?

Your heart nearly burst.

You let out a breathless laugh, tears rushing again as you half-signed, half-shouted, “You idiot! Of course I meant it! Of course I’m in love with you!”

He smiled.

A full smile—broken but real.

Then his hand lifted shakily.

He formed it with care: I love you.

Two fingers extended. A thumb pointed out.

I love you.

You reached out with both hands, framing his face, your thumbs brushing under his eyes.

And then you kissed him.

Soft. Desperate. Long overdue.

He kissed you back instantly, weak but purposeful, like his lips had been waiting for this as long as you had.

When you pulled back, your foreheads touched.

“I thought I’d never get to tell you,” you whispered.

“You always told me,” he signed slowly, clumsily, the motion half-signed against your palm. “You just didn’t know it.”

And then he added aloud, voice gravelly and quiet but still so Bucky:

“Say that again..” he whispered

You signed as you spoke “ I love you , Bucky Barnes”

You couldn’t stop crying.

Neither could he.

You stayed with him the whole night, your hand in his, feeling , speaking in that language that seemed to only be yours.

-end

[megsbr]

These Moments With You

pairing: 1940s!bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: It's the morning Bucky is leaving for the war and you are savoring every second together while reminiscing on how you got here

warnings/tags: no use of y/n, fluff, domestic bucky, kissing, established relationship, reader is steve’s sister (I think..), best friend’s sister, talk of marriage

word count: 6.6k

note from megs: hii! this is my first Bucky fic and I don’t know if y’all will like it but please let me know if you do! and feel free to send me messages, prompts, anons, etc. <3 (also I’m not entirely confident on how the draft works so just go with it) (gif not mine)

The softest rays of sunlight danced across skin as the morning came into view. Limbs tangled in one another like wires that were destined to be intertwined forever. The sound of birds chirping and the hustle of the morning commuters could be heard in the distance, but this room paid no mind to the outside world.

Bright blue eyes scanned over the soft skin on an exposed shoulder like it was the most marvelous work of art in a museum. Fingertips slid up and down a thigh with a softness that was almost invisible. The heat radiating off one another was enough to scare away any cold morning wind that might sneak its way in.

These were Bucky’s favorite moments with you. In the soft, quiet morning bliss with no plans and no one coming to interrupt this moment. Just the two of you. Like it always had been and always will be. He often woke up before you and he was grateful for the time to sit in your presence and just admire you. No matter how many times he woke up next to you, he would never get over the view.

He loved the way your nose scrunched up every now and then when you slept and how you always stayed as close as possible to him in your sleep. Not that it was much different when you were awake. Your hair was all over the place but he made sure to push a few strands out of your face so he could look at you uninterrupted. Bucky had always been obsessed with you. Others said he looked at you like it was the last time he might ever get the chance. No one ever seemed to call him a romantic until they saw the two of you together and then no one could deny the hold you had over him. He would move buildings for you. Move across the country for you. Go to wars for you, whether he had the choice or not.

_____ He was recently reminded of the day you two met. His family had just moved in down the street from yours and when his mom saw that a young boy sat in a nearby front yard she pushed Bucky to go introduce himself with a tray of cookies. Despite being in a completely new region of the country Bucky walked around as if he had lived here his whole life. He had never been a kid who got nervous or didn’t know what to say. He knew how to charm an older lady at the grocery store or volunteer to read in front of the whole class. Nothing was able to shake Bucky Barnes the way you were about to.

He walked across the road with too much confidence for a young boy as he introduced himself to the blond, scrawny boy playing with a military plane toy. “Hi, my name is Bucky. Thought we could be friends.” He was very point blank with what he wanted as a kid, never liked beating around the bush. The other boy was too shy to say no so he said nothing as Bucky grabbed the other plane on the ground and started asking questions about it. In talking with his friend, he had revealed that he was the oldest of four kids and was jealous that his new friend was an only child. Before the smaller boy could correct him they were interrupted by the sound of footsteps running out towards them.

Bucky heard a voice calling his new friend in for dinner at the request of their mom. As he looked up from the toy in his hand and he met your eyes the world came to a halt, and everything seemed to move in slow motion. Even at that young of an age, Bucky suddenly understood what love felt like. You had the brightest smile he had ever seen, and he was already thinking of all the jokes he could rattle off to make sure it never left your face.

He was barely able to introduce himself to you, nerves taking over his small body in a way they never had before. All the cockiness he felt walking over here from being the older, taller and mysterious new kid was gone. “H-hi. Bucky. My name. My name is Bucky.” He stuttered over every word as if he had never said them before. You looked at him with curious eyes and a kind smile as you introduced yourself and quickly ran away after telling your brother to come inside.

As the years went on and Bucky grew up, he always kept his eyes on the young girl down the street. As he grew up and entered high school where he found more friends, joined sports and got the attention of plenty of girls he only ever thought of you. As he grew into his body and personality he was slowly able to stop acting like a fool when he passed by you in the hallway or came by your house to pick up your brother for some party they were going to.

His heart always skipped a beat when you were the one who opened the door, eyes bright and smile wide like you were just as excited to see him. You were his favorite part of the day every day because he felt the most comfortable and seen with you. There were more and more of those fleeting moments on the front porch or the side glances at each other from opposite sides of sidewalk as the three of you walked home from school as you both drowned out your brother’s tangent on some new film. Slowly but surely you spent more and more time talking at the front door before alerting your brother that his friend was there. You would walk a bit slower on the way home, hanging in the back together as your hands brushed each other’s.

Bucky was head over heels in love with you since the day he met you and he never spared anyone else a glance. A few girls had tried to dance with him a few times and despite how uninterested he was, he was still a gentleman, so he respectfully led them out to the floor, but he constantly looked over his shoulder to make sure you weren’t looking.

He finally mustered up the courage to ask you out that summer before senior year. When he knocked on the front door and you answered with a greeting so warm it felt like home he suddenly lost all his words. You were just so pretty and happy to see him that he got so in his head that he blurted out his proposal while you were mid-sentence.

His face turned bright red, and he was ready to walk away and never look back, but you said yes without missing a beat, face lighting up at the idea. You had such an ease about you that he never seemed to have himself when he was around you. He mumbled out that he’d pick you up at seven as he tripped down the front steps from staring at you. The giggle you let out at his expense gave him butterflies as you shut the door.

There must have been hearts in his eyes the whole back to his house. Unknown to him, you were just as lovestruck when you had gone back in the house, leaning your back against the door as you shut your eyes in bliss and sighed at the thought of the beautiful boy who you were in love with. You rushed upstairs to start finding the perfect outfit to wear and after looking through your whole closet it seemed like that didn’t exist.

You had been enamored with Bucky Barnes, the neighborhood flirt, your brother’s best friend, for years. After you met him for the first time you ran away as fast as you did because you couldn’t keep your giggles in from how cute you thought he was. That night you wrote his name in your diary and put yours next to it, liking how they looked together.

He was always nice to you; he listened to anything you wanted to talk about and never seemed to look down on you for being his friend’s little sister. And his eyes. You thought about his eyes every moment of the day from the moment you woke up to the moment you got to fall asleep and dream about them some more. When you locked eyes with him from across the room or in the hallway when he’d spend the night and you both wanted a glass of water, you felt like you could get lost in that blue for eternity.

You often went out of your way to end up in his path just in hopes he’d spare you a glance and maybe a slight smile. Taking a more inconvenient route to class because he was in those hallways or asking your mom to force your brother to bring you with him to hang out with Bucky. And when he mentioned an actress he liked one time, you started to style your hair the same way as her and almost passed out when he complimented you on it one day. You did whatever you could to get his attention and tried to establish yourself a girl worthy of his time and not as the neighbor girl who had never had a boy like her.

And the rebellious side of you loved that he was your brother’s best friend. There was a forbidden feeling to him that only made you want him more. He was known around town as more of a bad boy, for reason unknown to you because there was not a bad bone in his body. He acted like a bit of flirt here and there and maybe skipped school a few times but was otherwise the kindest and most loyal person you knew. You knew he did well in school but kept it a secret to come off a bit cool to everyone else and maintain his ‘image’. But he never acted like that around you, always opting to spew random facts and show his goofy, unpolished side that you adored.

And you loved the way he was so protective of your brother, saving him from the bullies and real troublemakers of town, and it made you fall more in love with him every day. And the time he carried all your books to and from school when you had broken your arm had you seeing stars from how fast your heart raced. And when he saved you from the deep end of the pool once when you drifted too far as a young girl. And now he asked you on a date.

He showed up exactly at seven with three bouquets of flowers because he couldn’t pick just one that was pretty enough for you. His hands shaking so much as he shoved them in his pockets to hide his nerves. He thought you were breathtaking as you stepped outside in what he now believed to be the best shade of pink just because you wore it.

You two walked to a local diner, one of the only places Bucky could afford with his weekly allowance, but you assured it was fine. He made sure to walk on the outside of the sidewalk and kept cracking jokes to keep it lighthearted and dissolve any awkward silences. But it was never awkward between the two of you. Not when you sat in silence as your eyes scanned the menu trying to decide what to order or when Bucky nervously drank his coke too fast and got bubbles in his nose which cause him to start coughing uncontrollably.

Bucky eventually took ahold of your hand from across the table and kept it there the rest of the night, which caused your stomach to flip as you tried not to show too much excitement. from the public display of affection.  He had offered up the idea of sharing a milkshake, claiming “he had to give you the best first date ever” and “this what they do in the movies, so we have to do it as well”. When the drink came and you both leaned in towards your respective straws it seemed like you both underestimated how close you’d be. Neither of you touched the straws yet opting to just stop and stare into each other’s eyes.

The diner was empty by this point of the night but there could have been a hundred people in there and you’d pay them no notice. It seemed like the rest of the world had disappeared and you only knew each other. You could feel his breath on your face and took notice of his eyes as they flickered down to your lips once. And then twice.

Just as you were about to say something his hand came up to cup your cheek as he closed the distance between you. The kiss was soft and innocent and filled with years of longing and dreaming. Your eyes fluttered shut as you took in everything about him, from the softness of his lips to the smell of his aftershave, and your hand came up to the collar of his button down shirt to pull him in even closer to you. You felt like you were floating as he somehow deepened the kiss. Just as you felt like you were going lightheaded, whether it be from the fact you were kissing Bucky Barnes or the lack of oxygen or both, you were interrupted by the waitress clearing her throat.

You pulled away first to turn your attention to the woman, but Bucky stayed put for a few seconds longer, eyes still shut and lips slightly parted, seemingly stunned at what just happened before he finally came back down to Earth. The waitress informed you they were closing, and you needed to leave, showing no interest in the young love before her. You guys scrambled out of the torn up booth as Bucky threw some bills on the table before you tugged his arm behind you, you both giggling as you ran out of the door.

You both spent the whole walk home laughing at the angry look the waitress had on her face. Bucky repeatedly mocked her voice when she told you both to leave and you laughed harder each time, tears welling up in your eyes. His arm was around your shoulders, and you were leaning into his chest, head dropping on his shoulder every few minutes as you let out the loudest laughs that were starting to hurt your abdomen.

As you got closer and closer to your house you finally realized how late it was and how much trouble you were going to be in for staying out past curfew. “Bucky, we have to hurry home now. My parents are going to kill me.” You managed to get out in between laughs, Bucky unable to take you seriously as you sounded like you were struggling to breathe.

“Don’t worry darlin’, your parents love me. I’ll smooth it over.” And you knew he would. He was the smoothest guy you knew. So smooth that you were sure your face was bright red from the nickname he just used. As you walked up the steps to your house, stopped in front of the door and stood underneath the soft yellow hue of the porch light you felt your heart twisting in your chest at the idea of the night ending.

And Bucky felt the same way as he held both of your hands in his much bigger ones. He enjoyed every minute of getting to be alone with you and getting to have all your attention. You were worth every dollar he saved up for dinner and any punishment he might get for staying out past curfew from his own parents. He knew in this moment that he would do anything for you and never wanted to let you go.

As you were saying something along the lines of thanking him for the evening he moved towards you to connect his lips to yours for the second time that night. This kiss grew much needier and passionate than the one back at the diner. He was hungry for you but not in an animalistic way but in a lustful and desperate way. He needed every part of you and wanted to give every part of himself right back to you.

After the shock from his sudden advancement, you leaned into the kiss and let Bucky take the lead as he grabbed either side of your face and moved you against the side of the house, pinning you there. Your hands found their way around his neck and that allowed you to pull his body closer to yours as if you were preparing for someone to come take him away. This moment felt too good to be true and you’d never forgive yourself if you let some cruel force of nature ruin this moment.

You were practically melting in Bucky’s hands as he lightly bit on your lower lip and let out an almost indiscernible groan as you parted your mouth and allowed his tongue to move in. His much larger build was towering over you, and it felt like he was completely engulfing you, but you loved it. It felt like you were out there forever, just basking in each other’s love and hiding in the darkness of the night, away from the world.

When Bucky finally pulled away and took in a large breath you already missed the feeling of him on you. You could compare kissing Bucky to needing oxygen and you were afraid that when it came to it, you could do without the latter. You both took a second to steady your breathing before deciding it was finally time to face the wrath of your parents.

Bucky took a few steps back, admiring your movements as you pulled out your key and put it in the lock. “I think I am falling in love you.” He breathed out just as you were turning back around to face him. A dazzling smile made its way to your face as you jumped into him, arms finding their spot back around his neck. He instantly wrapped his around your figure and laid his head on yours. You turned into the crook of his neck, placing a light kiss on the edge of his jaw, feeling him shiver beneath your touch. “I think I am falling in love with you too.” You whispered it like a secret into the night, not wanting to risk anyone else hearing this proclamation beside the young man before you.

There were many more dates after that. Countless nights of Bucky climbing the side of your house and sneaking into your room. Morning kisses before departing ways for class. You went to prom together and got voted cutest couple in the school yearbook. He stayed by your side through both of your parent’s deaths and did everything to keep your spirits up and help you through your grief.

It was you and Bucky. Always had been and always will be. You were each other’s future.

_____

Bucky was taken out of his trance when you started to stir awake. His full attention back on you as you opened your eyes and found his immediately. He gave you a soft smile as he took in your beauty once again and planted a kiss on your nose.

You sighed in content as you smiled back at him before the realization hit you like a ton of bricks. This was the last morning you’d be waking up together for a long time. Or for the last time. Your face dropped and your demeanor turned sour as you turned yourself away from Bucky, not wanting him to see you cry.

As soon as his arms wrapped around you from behind the tears started falling and sobs raked through your body at an alarming rate. “Baby please, it’s okay. I promise it will all be okay.” Bucky tried to calm you down but nothing he said worked so he opted for just pulling you into his chest and resting his head slightly on top of you, keeping his cheek pressed to yours, occasionally planting kisses on your shoulder and wiping away tears that kept falling.

“This isn’t okay Bucky. Nothing about this is fair or okay. I am losing you.” This caused Bucky to sit up against the headboard, pick you up and settle you in his lap. You instantly curl up into him and lay on his chest, your tears immediately soaking his t-shirt.

“Sweetheart, you are not losing me. I am not leaving you in the slightest. I just have to go away for a while.” His attempt at consoling you still unsuccessful and just causing you to cry harder at the idea of having to see him walk away from you. You could already feel your heart being ripped out of your chest at the thought of being so far away from him.

Bucky was your reason for everything. Your reason for waking up. Your reason for going outside. Your reason for getting pretty and put together. You did it all for him and because of him. To say Bucky was your soulmate was the understatement of the century. “I’m going to miss you so much.” You say as if you haven’t already a million times since he got his deployment orders.

You both remember that day well. The day you found out he’d be leaving. That he’d be leaving you.

_____

You were shivering as you stood in front of the movie theater looking up and down the block for the boy who planned this date. It was a cold December night and Bucky had offered to meet you for a date to see a new film that night at six o’clock. At least you swore it was tonight. You wrote it down in your calendar as soon as you planned it and you triple checked the day, so you knew you were right.

The wind whipped around you as you hugged your coat tighter around your frame. It was getting dark, and you were alone with no way of knowing where your boyfriend was.

“Excuse me, do you have the time?” You leaned forward to ask an older couple walking slowly past you. They were walking hand and hand and almost didn’t hear what you asked because they were so enthralled by their conversation. “It’s half past six dear.” The older gentleman gave you a slight nod and a soft smile after looking at his watch. You glanced back at them as they strolled down the block together, your heart swelling up at the love in their faces. It gave you hope that you and Bucky would be like that one day.

If you didn’t kill him first for flaking on your date.

Bucky had never, in the two years of dating, ever missed a date or arrived a minute late. Especially if he was meeting you somewhere, never wanting to risk you being alone in town for too long. If anything were to ever happen to you he would never forgive himself. He also knew how lucky he was to be with you and get to call you his so why would he ever miss even a second of getting to be with you? He’d be foolish to ever do something like that to you.

You started the walk back towards your street, stomping right past your house and going straight to Bucky’s. You marched up the steps, your feet feeling as heavy and stiff as bricks because of how cold you were. You knew his family was out of town, so you didn’t bother knocking and just walked right into the house.

The warmth that engulfed you immediately relaxed your muscles and gave you a moment of peace before you were reminded of why you were here in the first place. Your first instinct was to be mad at Bucky, ready to confront him and yell at him for letting you stand out in the harsh Brooklyn winter for over half an hour alone because he overslept or just flat out forgot about you. But another voice in the back of your head kept running through all the worst case scenarios of things that could have happened to him.

You tried not to think about those because you could not stand to entertain the idea that he could be hurt or missing or worse. But maybe that voice knew something you didn’t because the news you were about to receive may have been worse than the idea he was in the hospital with a broken leg.

After walking around the house for a minute you finally found the brunette. He was in the living room and sitting on the edge of the couch, slightly hunched over with his elbows on his knees. His head was resting in one of his hands, his fingers taking over the bottom half of his face as if he was trying to hide. The other was holding what looked like a letter, the opened envelope you assumed it came from was discarded on the floor by his feet.

He was dressed in a typical date night outfit, his coat and shoes on like he was just about to walk out the door before something stopped him. You slowly approached him, the floorboards creaking under your feet that would normally alert him to someone’s presence, but his eyes stayed stuck on the mysterious letter.

“Bucky? Are you okay?” Your voice cut through the silence of the room like a knife. Bucky turned towards you as he dropped the piece of paper and straightened his back out. You were met with bright red eyes filled with tears and rosy cheeks that he only ever got when he was stressed out. You were at his side in an instant and he fell into your arms as he started to let out soft sobs. Wrapping one arm around his large frame, your other reached out for the paper on the ground and brought it up to you.

“Selective Service of the United States of America To the attention of Sargeant James Buchanan Barnes

This letter contains your deployment date and information regarding mandatory military service due to the draft ordered by the President of the United States of America.”

It felt like your world came crashing down as you read through the letter, your own tears falling to mix with tears already on the page from Bucky just a few minutes ago. You knew plenty of your friends whose boyfriends have been shipped off already and you saw the misery they lived every day. You had already seen the military officials walk up to plenty of houses with only bad news. Every morning you read the newspaper with names of people lost. The idea of seeing Bucky’s name felt like it would end you.

“Baby, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry that I have to do this to you.” Bucky cried as if he was sadder for you that he had to leave rather than scared of going to war himself. He was about to walk out the door for your date, stopping to fix his hair in the reflection of the window when he saw two men in uniform walk up the steps.

The first thought he had wasn’t that he was scared to go to a foreign place or that he was going to have people shooting at him. It was that you’d be alone. He wouldn’t be here to protect you. Bucky thought about you sitting here waiting for him and putting your life on pause for him. Stunting yourself in honor of him. But an even worse, crueler thought that flashed through his mind was you moving on. Getting tired of being alone and forgetting all about him. He imagined you falling in love with someone else and living the life he wanted with you himself so badly.

The two of you sat together, crying in each other’s arms for hours as you promised a million things to each other. “I promise I will wait for you.” “I promise to come back to you.” “I promise to love you forever no matter what.” Your date was long forgotten as you moved to go to bed and fall asleep in each other’s arms, holding each other just as tight as you had on your first date when neither of you wanted to let go. Neither of you really fell asleep, but nightmares still flooded both of your thoughts as you watched the night turn into morning. _____

Bucky was now rocking you back and forth a bit as his eyes were locked on his uniform hanging in the closet. He has already gone over a thousand different scenarios where you and him run away together to start a new life on the run from his impending imprisonment. But every time he tried to entertain the idea you shut him down and changed the subject, not wanting to give into any sliver of false hope.

It stayed quiet between the two of you for the rest of the morning as you got ready together. You have done this so many times that you move so easily around each other, already knowing who will step where and when. Bucky handed you your hairbrush and you handed him his comb. Your fingers brushed during the exchange, and it gave you both the same tingly feeling you got when you held hands during a fire drill at school as kids. Small smiles and shoulder bumps were shared as you brushed your teeth next to each like you have for every morning since moving into together after high school.

You let out shaky breaths as Bucky zipped his camo green duffel bag closed and slung it over his shoulder. He was stood up straight and had a questioning look on his face as you stared him down. He gestured his eyes down and put his arm not holding his duffel straight out and did a slow spin. “So, how do I look? Is everything in order?” He had the smallest smirk creeping up on his lips as he fished for a compliment, knowing that despite the situation, you loved how he looked in his full military get-up.

“You look like my perfect military man.” You stepped towards him to plant a quick, soft kiss on his lips and gave him a forced smile before turning on your heels and leaving the room. Bucky’s face dropped a bit, the reminder of how hard this was for you hitting him in the gut. He knew you were trying your best to remain positive in front of him, but he felt helpless. Bucky prided himself on always being able to lift your spirits. When you had the flu, he kept you company with all your favorite snacks and watched all your television shows with you. And when you and your brother got into a fight about something stupid he let you vent everything out on your date that night and kept letting you order more milkshakes. He even held your hair back as you threw them all up in the toilet that night.

But as the two of you silently walked up to the line of buses waiting to whisk him away there was nothing he could have done to stop the wheels in your head that were turning at alarming rates. He watched as your eyes darted around to all the women crying in the hands of their own military men that they were about to bid a farewell to just like you. He watched young children hug their father’s goodbye before they stepped away. Moms and dads waving goodbye to their sons who barely looked 18. It was a horrible sight but nothing broke Bucky’s heart more than you looking up at him, tears rolling down your cheeks and nose red from how many times you have rubbed a handkerchief over it.

“Last names starting with A through C report to buses 1 and 2 in five minutes!” A voice yelled out over an intercom just as you and Bucky approached the parking lot. He handed his duffel over to man covered in medals and watched as it got thrown into a pile of identical ones. The internal countdown started in your mind as the last few moments with Bucky passed you by.

Bucky grabbed your hand and pulled you to the outside of the crowd, away from the loud roaring of the buses’ engines and the depressing sobs from every direction. Your eyes were drifting through the scene in front you again before Bucky grabbed your face on either side and pulled you back to him. “There’s my beautiful girl.” He whispered as he connected his eyes with yours and dropped his hands from your face to grab your hands from your sides.

“I wanted to ask you something before I leave. If you’ll let me.” His voice stayed low as he dug his hand in his pocket, his eyes still on yours the whole time. You watched as he took a step back from you and started to take a knee in front of you. Your hand came up to cover your mouth as you let out a gasp at the sight in front of you. As Bucky steadied himself, he was now holding a small black box in front you.

Bucky let out a shaky breath, “I know this is a little last minute, but I wanted this moment to have a happy component for us. I can’t let the last time you see me for a while be one of the worst moments of your life.” He let out a soft chuckle as he repeated the words you said a few days ago back to you. You had a few too many drinks and had gotten a little too honest with how much you had thought of your last moments together. You had already called this moment the worst moment of your life before it had even happened. But Bucky already seemed to have other plans to make sure that didn’t happen.

“I have loved you for so long I can’t remember what life was before. But a life without you is only allowed to exist in my nightmares because now that I have you I never want to let you go.” Bucky had opened the little black box to reveal a thin gold band with an oval diamond in middle and two smaller ones around it. It sparked in a way that was almost as beautiful as he thought you were.

“Every time I look at you, all I can think about is our future. And I know you think about our future a lot as well, but you focus so much on what can go wrong. I am just one ordinary man who got lucky enough to be with you so I can’t do much to change the future and change what might happen to us. But no matter what my future holds I know I want you in it.” There were tears streaming down both of your faces at this point, the sound of the minute warning for the buses drowned out in the background. “I don’t think I will ever know how a heart as beautiful and kind and smart as yours could ever find the room to love a messed up man like me, but I will spend the rest of this life trying to become worthy of even a fraction of your love.”

“But what I do know is that I am meant to be wherever you are. So, here I am, James Buchanan Barnes, asking you to marry me and promising you that I will come home to you and give you the life you deserve.”

It felt like your life together flashed before your eyes as you looked down at this man, who was looking up at you as if you were his everything. You felt the butterflies you got when he introduced himself to you for the first time and you got the shiver down your spine from when he touched your lower back trying to get past you at a party once. Every kiss and touch ghosted your whole body as you felt like you were starting to float.

And it also felt like your whole future came rushing at you too. Not the doomed one you often shared on late nights with Bucky when you couldn’t control your racing thoughts. Right now you could only see the moment you get reunited with him as you celebrate the end of the war in the streets. You saw a beautiful house in the suburbs where your kids ran around the backyard with the family dog and Bucky was grilling burgers for dinner as you prepped the salad and set the table. You imagined growing old together and reminiscing on this exact moment as you babysat grandkids.

Bucky eyes grew in size as he nervously glanced over to the men marching towards him, screaming his name and telling him to get a move on. He quickly stood to his feet and took the ring out of the box. He grabbed your left hand and hovered the ring on your finger.

“Don’t want to rush you baby but I kind of need an answer.” That smirk made its way to his face as you looked down at the ring shaking against your hand from Bucky’s own nerves. You already loved the way it looked against your skin and you heart raced knowing that everyone would now know that you were his and he was yours.

“Of course Bucky. I would marry you in every lifetime no matter what.” You rambled your words as fast you could before bringing your right hand to the back of Bucky’s neck and pulling him into you. As your lips connected he slid the ring on to your finger, making sure it sat snug before moving his hands to rest on your waist. Your left hand found your right as you pushed every emotion you could into the kiss. Your hands messed with the ends of hair that had fallen out of his hat and his hands gripped your waist in a way that made you feel like a woman.

In an instant he was ripped away from you and his hands left your waist as he was pulled towards the buses. Despite being taken away, Bucky had the goofiest smirk and lovestruck eyes as he watched you chase after him. His eyes glanced down at the ring sparkling on your finger and his heart swelled up. He knew that no matter what happened next you agreed to marry him and that was the most a man like him could ask for.

Bucky found a seat on the bus and joined the other men in pushing towards a window where he leaned out to reach out to you where you stood below him. He grabbed your hand one last time, his thumb rubbing over the ring he just gave you. He pulled it up to his mouth and left a light kiss on top of the ring just as the bus starting to pull away. You stood on that sidewalk and watched him fade away into the early morning sun, holding your left hand close to your heart.

[coquitokisses]

Back Together | Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader, (husband!Bucky Barnes x wife!reader, dad!Bucky Barnes x mom!reader)

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: Bucky being dad and hubby material, fluff, angst maybe?

Summary: Bucky and reader are married and have two girls, but because of Bucky’s work, reader decides to “break up” and have been separated for a few months. (Let’s say that this “job” was when the whole thing with John Walker happened in TFATWS, idfk lol)

A/n: The girls are like 4 and 5 years old and those aren’t the names I have planned on using for the fanfic, but it’ll do for now.. and Steve is alive and well lol (he doesn’t make an appearance, but I do mention him, like I said, this idea came as I was writing a fanfic so what I did was try and edit it a little bit so yall don’t need context and shit lol just enjoy okay?)

A/n #2: my first language isn’t english so if there are any errors or mistakes, I’m sorry and also, this is my first time doing this so just bare with me please lmao

It’s almost 10 pm which means Bucky must be on his way to bring the girls back after having them for the weekend. You were away in Seattle the whole weekend for work, but anyways it was Bucky’s turn to stay with the kids. They were supposed to stay with Wanda tonight, but since you arrived earlier than anticipated, you told her that Bucky was gonna bring them over.

You’re not on the best terms. Actually, you’re broken up at the moment and have been like that for like three months now. It all started because of Bucky’s “job”. You always said that he wasn’t being careful with the things he did and you didn’t like the constant worrying about him every time he went out to do his things. He didn’t really see it that way which made you get into a really bad fight and you decided to break up because he wasn’t putting his safety, or his family, as a priority and you didn’t like that.

Which was kinda true. So you’re currently not living together. Bucky has been staying with Steve, or with Sam whenever he comes to New York. The girls usually stay with you and then Bucky takes them on the weekends, but whenever you can’t take them to school (or get them on time) or something on week days, then Bucky takes them without a problem.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pick them up for you?” Wanda asked while on FaceTime with you

“It’s alright, red, don’t worry.” You replied “Besides, Bucky’s probably on his way anyway.”

“Still haven’t talked?”

“Well we talk, just not about us.” You said walking out of the kitchen

“And are you guys still, like, mad or..?”

“I don’t know.” You let out a sigh

“Steve told you he got out.”

“I know.”

“So?”

“I just.. I don’t know, I haven’t talked to him about it.”

“Well I think you need to.” She said “Just have a little chat and see where things are at.. you guys still love each other.”

And you did. Of course you did. And the girls want you to get back together too. But you just haven’t talked about it again.

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You replied and just as you said that, you saw the car lights through the window “He’s here, I gotta go.”

“Call me if you need anything.”

“I will, love you.”

“Love you more.”

You hung up the call and left the phone on the couch before heading to the door. You opened it and saw Bucky walking over to the house holding Olivia, your youngest, in his arms and Eloise was walking right next to him. And the three of them just looked tired as hell.

“Hi mommy.” Eloise ran over to you

“Hi, pretty girl.” You immediately hugged her

“Say hi to mama, Liv.” Bucky said as he got closer

“Hi mama.” Olivia opened her arms wanting you to pick her up so you did

“Hi, my angel.” You kissed her cheek

“Sorry for bringing them so late, we just got out of the cinema.” Bucky said

“Buck, it’s fine, they don’t even go to school yet.” You told him “Did you guys have fun?” You asked the girls

“So much fun!” Eloise replied excitedly “We also went to the trampoline park earlier.”

“Oh well that explains why someone’s a little more tired than others.” You looked at Olivia and she rested her head on your shoulder

“Mommy, can daddy tuck us in tonight, please?” Eloise asked

“Baby, I’m sure mommy had a really long and tired flight and she just wants to sleep.” Bucky told her

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You said “Daddy will tuck you in, sweetheart.” You tucked a few strands of Eloise’s hair behind her ear

“Daddy, come on.” She grabbed Bucky’s hand

You all went inside and you gave the girls a quick shower before Bucky helped them get in their pjs.

“Mommy, are we staying with auntie Wanda tomorrow?” Eloise asked as she got on her bed

“Yes, baby, I need to go to work.” You replied

“Can’t we stay with daddy?”

“Daddy works too, honey.” You moved her hair out of her face “I thought you liked staying with auntie Wanda.”

“We do, but we wanted to stay with daddy again.” Olivia spoke

“Well I can pick you up at auntie Wanda’s house when I get out of work, how does that sound?” Bucky told them

“And we can get dippin dots too?” Olivia looked at him with puppy eyes

“We can get whatever you girls want.” He said squishing her cheeks making her giggle

You couldn’t help but smile a little. You loved watching Bucky with the girls, he really is an amazing father and they love him like crazy.

“Alright it’s getting super late, time to sleep.” You said to them

“But mom!” Eloise pouted

“No buts, listen to your mom.” Bucky said “Come on, get in bed both of you.”

Each of the girls got in their beds and Bucky went and tucked them both. They have their own separate rooms, but they’re pretty close and they’ve always wanted to sleep in the same room so when the time came and you bought Olivia her big girl bed, Bucky just placed it in Eloise’s room. Anyways, when the time comes when they get to the point where they don’t even want to look at each other, you’ll probably make Bucky move Olivia’s bed back to her room and problem solved. But for now, they absolutely love being in the same room.

“I love you.” Bucky kissed Olivia’s forehead “And I love you.” He then kissed Eloise’s “So so much.”

“We love you too, daddy.” They said

“Now get some sleep because auntie Wanda is coming early tomorrow to pick you up before I leave.” You leaned down to kiss each of them on their heads “I love you both so insanely much.”

“Love you too, mommy.”

“Now go to sleep or I’ll call the slender man.” Bucky said as he turned off the light

He quickly closed the door once you got out of the room and the girls let out a scream that made you both laugh.

“You’re evil.” You chuckled “Creating them traumas so young.”

“It gives them strength.”

You rolled your eyes laughing. “Of course.”

You both went downstairs and then Bucky went back to the car to bring back Olivia’s shoes and a few toys that the girls left in the car. While you put them on the dining table, Bucky was just telling you what they did and how the girls were on the weekend.

“Liv didn’t even asked for my help to wipe her after using the bathroom.”

“No?!” You looked at him kinda shocked

Potty training Eloise was way easier than training Olivia. First she was afraid of the toilet being flushed, then she was afraid that something would come out and bite her, then she didn’t want to stay alone while using the toilet. It’s been a rollercoaster for all of you.

“No, she did it all by herself.”

“Oh my god, really? I’m gonna cry.” You said with a hand on your chest

“She said she’s a big girl and big girls don’t need any help to go potty.”

“She is a big girl.” You said “Fuck, they’re both getting so big.”

“They are.” He nodded “How was Seattle?”

“Fucking amazing.” You said excited “It’s so pretty.”

“And how did it went? Are they planning on transferring you?”

“Hell no, I told Nick I’m not leaving New York.” You replied “If we were still living in the compound, then this would’ve been a whole different conversation, but we’re not and we have kids now so no, I’m not leaving even if they pay me more.”

“Well if they are paying you more then..” he raised his eyebrows

You laughed. “You know what I mean, idiot.” You rolled your eyes “But no, I’m not being transferred.”

“Then why did you go?”

“Nick said that they needed someone like me for some training.” You answered “It was great, I got to teach a few people about self defense, how exciting.”

“I’m glad.” He said with a small smile

He was genuinely happy for you. He knew how much you’ve missed working like that. Being an agent, a spy, you missed it. But at the same time, it wasn’t really in your plans anymore ever since you got pregnant with Eloise. It happened during the blip as well so you weren’t exactly working as an agent or spy anymore so you just decided to leave it behind for good. Until recently.

“You know, if it’s really what you want, then go for it.” He told you “The girls aren’t stopping you and neither am I.”

“I know, but it’s just that I feel like I’m on a different stage in life now.” You said “It felt fucking amazing, don’t get me wrong.”

“Then do it, talk with Nick and tell him to put you out there, that’s what you want.”

“I don’t know.” You let out a sigh

“We’re not going anywhere, you know that, right?” He said and you looked at him “And how cool would it be for the girls to say that their mommy is a spy?”

You laughed. “They will brag about it for sure.”

“And the best part is that you’re great at it and always have been.”

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You shrugged looking at the time on the stove “It’s getting very late.” You looked at him

“Ouch okay, I’m leaving.”

“Oh my god.” You rolled your eyes

“Are we gonna keep this up?” He looked at you

“What?”

“This nonsense.” He motioned his hand between the two of you

“This nonsense?” You arched an eyebrow “Do I need to remind you whose fault is it that we’re on this position right now?”

“It could’ve gone so much better, but little miss I’m extremely petty over here, doesn’t like to listen to people and doesn’t care about anything other than her opinion.” He said

“Oh don’t make me mad, James.” You crossed your arms

“It’s the truth and you know it.”

“I think you can go now.” You said turning around and starting to walk away

“See what I mean?” You heard him say from behind “Can’t we just talk about it like normal people?” He asked following you

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.” You said turning around to look at him

“Well I think it is.”

“Bucky..”

“Y/N, come on.” He sighed “It’s been three months, are you gonna keep pushing me away?”

And he’s right, you’ve been kinda pushing him away. To be honest, the whole thing could’ve been avoided if Bucky and you came to an agreement, but you never did. You were upset that he was going away with Sam to do all these things that you weren’t okay with and you were thinking about the kids, which, at the moment, he wasn’t doing and that pissed you off. That was the whole thing. He didn’t want to empathize with the way you were viewing the whole situation and he was kinda making you look crazy. Saying things like “it’s not a big deal” or “everything will be alright, you don’t need to freak out”.

How does he expect you to not freak out when he doesn’t care about doing all this dangerous things? Was he insane?

In other circumstances, if you didn’t have kids for example, maybe you would’ve been a little bit more okay with it, maybe. But it’s a whole different scenario now.

And you were kinda pushing him away, sort of. But it wasn’t intentional, it’s just that you were kinda petty and there were times where he wanted to kinda fix things, but you wouldn’t let him because you would find a way to push him away unconsciously.

“You made me feel like I was exaggerating when I clearly wasn’t.” You said

“Because at the moment I did feel that way and I didn’t want to view the situation the way you were.” He explained “And I know I was wrong for that and I’m sorry.”

You let out a sigh. “You still went.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I should’ve stayed here with you, I regretted it the moment I left with Sam.” He said “And I came back as soon as I could.”

“And you stayed with Steve.” You rolled your eyes

“Baby, you wanted to kill me, do you really think I was just gonna come and ask you to take me back after that shit? Like you were just gonna accept me.”

“… Well, you’re kinda right.”

“I know, Steve told me you were pissed and that you wanted to punch me.”

“I did tell him that.” You nodded

“I’m sorry, I really am.”

“It’s fine, just forget it, I’m sick of the topic anyway.” You replied leaning on the back of the couch

“But are we fine?” He asked

“I don’t know, are we?”

“Well I’d say we are, kinda.” He got closer to you “You want me to do anything?”

“You could start by fixing the damn back door.”

“Again? But I just fixed it a few months ago.”

“Well I think you did it wrong because the doorknob is broken again.”

“I need to change that fucking door already.” He rolled his eyes “Anything else? Are you still mad at me?”

“A little.” You replied

“Just a little?” He moved his hands to your hips “I can help you change your mind.”

“Easy there, soldier.”

“Easy my ass, come here.”

Before you could even protest, his real hand grabbed your neck and he pulled you in for a kiss that screamed need. You really missed his kisses and just the way he would always give you a peck, whenever and wherever, whatever you were doing, he didn’t give a single care in the world. This man could see you sitting on the toilet and he still would go and give you a quick kiss.

“God, I’ve missed you.” He whispered on your lips “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

“I did too.”

“Can we please never fight again?” He gently put his forehead against yours

“As long as you don’t piss me the fuck off doing some stupid shit like that again, we’re good.”

“Good.” He nodded before kissing you again

“And I swear to god..” you started saying between kisses “If I see you again that close to John Walker, I’m gonna kill you.”

“I know.” He said lowering his hands to the back of your thighs and picking you up

Likes and reblogs will be appreciated!

masterlist

[simmerandwrite]

grapefruit sidecar (part 1)

part of the Sink Into Me universe

Pairing: mob boss! Steve Rogers x plus size! reader x mob! Bucky Barnes

Summary: It was just an innocent question. You definitely didn't have any ulterior motives: “Have you ever had a threesome?” But when Steve admits something from his past with Bucky, you can't help but wonder...

Part 1: The Club | Part 2: The Penthouse

Warnings: 18+!!! established relationship (Steve x reader), MFM threesome shenanigans

Notes: here we gooooo! I don't think you *need* to read Sink Into Me to enjoy this two part series, but hey - feel free to read it! enjoy! and yes in my mind these two fuck like owen gray and small hands what who said that

--

“Have you ever had a threesome?”

The question came from your lips so casually, so innocently that Steve wasn’t sure he had heard you correctly. He stilled his pen and lifted his eyes to you, curled up in the corner of the couch in his office. 

You were typing away on your phone, nursing the tail end of a hangover. Steve had insisted he could take you home to have a nap following the late brunch you shared together, but you insisted you wanted to just orbit near him for the rest of the day. 

He couldn’t say no to that. But he also couldn’t keep putting off some paperwork, so armed with an oversized iced tea for hydration, you made yourself comfortable on the couch while he worked. And now he knew exactly why you had encouraged him to get a nice throw blanket to keep at the office too. 

Steve cleared his throat, finally drawing your eyes to his. You gave him a cheeky smile. 

“And where is that question coming from?”

“Uhm,” you started slowly, sitting up a bit straighter as you put your phone down. “A weird turn of topics in the group chat with the girls.” 

Something about your smile made Steve think that wasn’t the whole truth. 

He laughed. Okay, he’d play along. “And is my response going to be the next topic in the group chat with the girls?” 

You shook your head. “I wouldn’t do that. Just because Maria loves updating us on her sex life constantly, doesn’t mean I contribute the same way. Scouts honour.” 

Steve pushed back on his chair and stood, removing his glasses as he walked over to join you. 

“Weird place for pillow talk,” he said, planting himself beside you on the couch. You were quick to adjust and cozy up at his side. “But yes, I’ve had a threesome. More than one.”

“Oooh. With who?”

One of his eyebrows shot up, scanning your curious wide eyes. “Sweetheart.”

“I mean, you don’t have to tell me. I’m just wondering how threesomes even happen. I’ve never had one, thought about it I guess but like.. who executes the idea? Do you talk about it beforehand or does it just happen? Who makes sure it’s fair?”

Steve let out a hard laugh. “When I’m involved, everyone has always had a good time. It’s been fair.”

“Okay but with who?”

He hesitated. 

“Come onnnnn. Who was it? When was it? Wait. Have you had more than one? Was it with someone I know? You know I don’t care about your history with Sharon. She probably has some attractive girlfriends.”

Steve blew out a breath. What did he have to lose here? You and him were both typically very secure in your relationship, but he still didn’t want to unintentionally hurt any feelings. 

“Okay. If you really want to know.” He shook his head, somehow confused he was even talking to you about this. “I’ve had a few. Haven’t happened in a while, usually there are just certain circumstances where… It happened organically. With a repeat participant.” 

You nodded, eager. “Whoooo?”

“Usually it was me, and that repeat participant, and a nice girl we found at the club.”

“Steve.” You groaned out his name. “Just tell me. Who is she?”

Steve’s lips grew into a small smirk as he gave you a sideways glance. “Not a she.”

You gasped, sitting up on your knees at his side. “What? Who? Oh my god, I shouldn’t have just assumed it was a woman.” You stopped your train of thought and narrowed your eyes. “Wait. Oh my god. Oh my god! Is it Bucky?”

Steve raised his eyebrows then gave you a slow nod.

“Ahh!!” You tapped your hand on his shoulder, excited. “That makes so much sense. You two have such a close friendship and honestly, that’s..” You let out a long breath, closing your eyes for a second. “That’s really hot. You and Bucky. Damn.”

Steve shifted slightly in his position, raising an eyebrow and watching as you grew excited beside him on the couch. “Sorry? That’s really what?”

“Steve.” You opened one eye and looked at him quickly. “You heard me. Listen, I’m not blind. Bucky is attractive. But don’t– I’m not, like, attracted to him. Okay, well, I am but not like that.”

“Like how then?” Steve couldn’t help but make you squirm about this whole topic now. It was something he hadn’t ever considered with you - sharing your intimacy with anyone else. Mostly because the idea of any other person on the planet even looking at you like that made him fire up with a possessive side he had a hard time hiding. But… Bucky wasn’t just anyone. 

There was a certain thrill that Bucky and Steve used to share when they’d do this together. The experiences were never really planned but Steve knew if someone caught his eye that Bucky would be interested in just as much as he was, and they were both in the mood for a little extra fun, then it was only fair to throw it on the table. They had their own signal, even. A quick side hug with a keyword dropped into the conversation, followed by a confirmation double ear tug.

It had always been a sober choice, too. 

“Stop,” you replied quietly, leaning into Steve’s shoulder again. “Forget I said anything.”

“I can forget it.. If that’s what you want.” He extended his hand to prop your chin up, encouraging you to look him in the eyes again. “But if it’s something you want to discuss further..”

You pulled back slightly. “What?” It looked like your mind was misfiring as you found your words. “But.. wouldn’t that be weird? Also.. wait. Are you – Hmm. It sounds fun but kind of scary and.. How do you even start and..” You paused and closed your eyes again. “Would Bucky even want to… with me..? Am I even his type?”

“Sweetheart,” Steve turned directly to you, grasping your hands in his. “You have no idea.”

—

Steve knew the right moment would present itself. Because the millisecond you had started the conversation with him about it, he had a feeling it would happen eventually. But, it was important that the timing was just right.

Mostly because he didn’t want you to worry or panic about it. In fact, in the few conversations you and Steve had shared about the entire threesome topic, he had made it abundantly clear that you would be in charge. That was usually the method Steve and Bucky followed anyway, depending on the third person sharing a bed with them.

Really though, after all of this chatter about the possibility, Steve could see your confidence and excitement growing. You had told Steve it was his responsibility to read your energy and Bucky’s to make sure everything felt right. And Steve had suggested maybe easing into the whole thing anyways. Maybe you didn’t go all the way right away. 

But, the right moment had to arrive.

And on a very ordinary Saturday night at the club, things seemed to be aligning. First and foremost, Steve knew you were in a great mood. You had an extra day off, you’d recently finished a big project at work and Steve had even just surprised you with a shopping spree. He knew how rarely you spent money on yourself, especially for new pieces of clothing. He had been especially generous when it came to a few pieces of lingerie. 

One set specifically he knew you had on under that new dress. While the club wasn’t always your preferred location for a Saturday night, you had been the one to suggest it this time. You wanted to dance with your girls and who was Steve to hold you back?

As for Bucky, Steve knew his friend had recently gone on a few bumpy first dates. First dates that didn’t deliver because it was clear from Bucky’s on and off grumpy mood that he was pretty pent up. Steve knew it was still a shot in the dark if Bucky would want to participate, but maybe he’d want to let off some steam and have fun.

So, when it was early enough in the night that both you and Bucky hadn’t yet overindulged, Steve started to put a plan into action.

When you came back upstairs to his private area for a break from the dance floor, Steve handed you a glass of water. 

“I’m cutting you off,” he whispered into your ear.

“I’ve only had one glass of –”

“Baby..” Steve pressed a kiss against your neck. “Just trust me. You go back down and dance while I chat with Bucky.”

You let out a small gasp, reaching out to grab the lapel of Steve’s suit. “Wait. Really? Are we–”

Steve cut you off with a kiss, then motioned towards the dancefloor. You gave him a coy smile over your shoulder as you hurried down to find Wanda and Maria again.

With a deep breath, Steve ran a hand through his hair then headed towards the bar. Bucky had his back against the counter, sipping a rocks glass as he surveyed the space. Steve stopped at Bucky’s side, giving him a small nudge on the arm.

“What are you drinkin’?” Steve prompted, matching Bucky’s pose.

Bucky furrowed his brow, turning to look at Steve. “Whiskey.”

“Wanna switch it up?” Steve asked slowly, turning his head to meet Bucky’s eyes. “Maybe we split a grapefruit sidecar?”

Bucky nearly choked as he turned to face Steve directly. “What? Rogers, I’m not going to .. If you are planning to fuck this up with your girl over some other broad.. I’m going to fuckin’ kick your ass and–”

Steve brought his hands up to stop Bucky from doing exactly that. “Jesus, Buck. Don’t think so fucking little of me, punk.” Steve rolled his neck then leaned in closer. “This invite is coming from me and my girl.”

Bucky’s eyes blew open, mouth slightly agape as he looked at Steve. “Are you serious?”

Steve grinned, raising his eyebrows up for a brief moment. “You need a second to mull it over?”

Bucky blinked, clearly letting his mind catch up. He quickly discarded his glass on the bar and raised his hand to tug on his earlobe. “Stevie, you know I’d never admit to having impure thoughts about your girl but..”

Steve laughed then grasped Bucky’s shoulder. “My office. 20 minutes.”

–

Steve came and found you on the dancefloor not long after he had pitched that tonight would be the night. And holy shit, you couldn’t believe it. You were buzzing with more than just excitement - there was a flutter of nerves and impossibilities flashing through your mind too.

Even though Steve had quite thoroughly told you how much fun you’d all have, how Bucky would enjoy himself just as much as you would, if not more. Despite those reassurances, you wouldn’t believe it could even happen until, well, it happened.

Now, as you were heading to Steve’s office - there seemed to be some sort of electricity in the air. 

God, you looked hot tonight. That was helping a lot. Out of all the clothes Steve had dropped down cash for, the dress you were wearing had been one of your favourites. It hugged the curves of your body in the most perfect way, with a generous view of your chest and a short hemline that left little to the imagination. You had felt effortlessly sexy in it, especially with the lacy garments underneath threatening to peak out at the top.

Steve’s office was empty when you both arrived, the walls dulling the bass from trickling in from the club. Steve left the big lights off, opting for just lamplight and ambiance from the illuminated Brooklyn skyline seeping in. 

Before you could start nervously pacing, Steve pulled you into his arms. He was leaning against the edge of the desk and you stood between his legs.

“Hey, remember what I said before..” Steve started, slowly tracing his fingers up and down your arms as he kept eye contact with you. “If you change your mind, at any point.. You just say so. And then it’s over, no questions asked.”

You nodded. “I know. Thank you.” As much as you were trying to keep it together, you couldn’t help but giggle. “I’m excited. But I'm nervous, too. How does this start and–”

A knock at the door interrupted your thoughts. After a few seconds, there was a voice.

“It’s, uh, me. Bucky.”

Steve glanced down at you, giving you one last look waiting for your confirmation. You responded with a coy smile and a nod, shifting around to lean against Steve. He draped his arms around you and called out for Bucky to come in.

You had always been aware of how attractive Bucky was. You were a normal, warm blooded woman after all. But there was something even hotter about seeing him cross through the doorway, knowing full well what intentions you all shared. And the fact that Bucky looked nervous, like his confidence wasn’t guarding him as it usually did, made it all feel even better.

Fuck. These men and their suits, too. Bucky was wearing black on black on black and the way his metal arm glinted under the lamplight, you nearly choked.

Bucky shut the door behind him, glancing over his shoulder quickly to look back at Steve. You sensed Steve’s nod, because Bucky made sure to lock the door, too. Then after an awkward silence, Bucky took it upon himself to sit on the couch.

“So,” Steve started, all calm and casual as his fingertips skated against your exposed collarbone. 

All you could do was stare straight ahead at Bucky, watching him watching you and Steve. Fuck, what happened now? How did you cross this line and–

You gasped as Steve’s lips found your neckline, weakening your knees as his tongue and lips explored your skin.

“Sweetheart,” Steve paused, moving one hand down your body and toying with the bottom of your dress. “How are you feeling?”

You whimpered, closing your eyes. “G-good. Yeah, so good.”

Steve grinned against your neck, pressing another kiss under your ear. “Buck?”

You looked back towards Bucky as he took a second to reply. He was already adjusting the top of his jeans, taking in slow breaths. “Yeah, so far so..” When he bit his lip, you nearly collapsed.

Steve lowered his voice, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Baby, what do you want? You wanna help Bucky feel even better?”

Holy fuck, you did. You really did. Jesus Christ almighty, the whole concept of Steve encouraging you to put your mouth on Bucky was electric. 

“You already makin’ a mess of those nice panties, baby?” You nodded again, looking back up at Steve as he grabbed your neck. “You take care of Bucky then he’ll watch me take care of you. How’s that sound?” 

Your reply was a jumbled up moan of positivity as Steve kissed you again, hard and wet before squeezing your hips and swatting your ass. 

As you walked towards him, Bucky sat up just a bit straighter on the couch. He was still nervous but judging by how he was running his hands down his thighs, you only imagined how excited he was, too.

“Hi Bucky,” you said quietly as you very slowly got down on your knees. “Can I..” You dragged your tongue across your lips, then glanced down at his belt.

Bucky swallowed hard, sparing another glance towards Steve before looking back at you. He sucked in a breath then reached his hand out to steady your chin. “Only if you want to, doll.”

You couldn’t help but smile, genuinely. Despite being on your knees in front of him, you were grateful that Bucky was still confirming your own interest in this whole thing.

“Yes, please.” You nodded and placed your hands on his knees, slowing running them up his slacks until you met his belt buckle.

He was quick to assist you in your task, pulling at his belt and lifting his hips as you yanked on his pants and boxers. His cock was already hard and ready and you couldn’t even help yourself, immediately reaching for it.

“Fuck,” Bucky exhaled, hands clutching the couch as you ran your hands against it.

“Buck,” Steve called out from across the room. “Pillow.”

You looked up at Bucky, who was scrambling to reach out and grab a nearby throw pillow from the opposite side of the couch. Without a second thought, he lifted it to rest behind his head before Steve interrupted him.

“For her knees, you dumbass,” Steve laughed, and you couldn’t help but join in.

“Oh, fuck. Sorry,” Bucky mumbled, helping you position it under your knees.

You didn’t reply, but instead you gave Bucky a sweet smile then got to work. You swiped your tongue around the head of his cock, before trailing it down along the soft silk of his shaft. Then you took a deep breath and slowly opened your lips, sucking on the tip.

Bucky’s hands gripped the couch even tighter, barely resisting the urge to thrust his hips upwards. You appreciated his restraint, though you couldn’t help but feel for him.

Your name left his lips, like a curse word. “Doll..” You felt one of his hands against your jaw. “Look at me.” Your eyes darted up to his and he really cursed this time. “Fuck, oh fuck. Yes, look at you with my cock in your mouth. So fucking sexy.”

That set you off, attempting to take even more of his length into your mouth as you looked at him. Whatever you couldn’t fit, you stroked with one of your hands, fueled by the drool dripping past your lips. 

You got into a groove, shifting through a pattern of swirling your tongue, sucking long and hard and adding in both fists stroking on and off too. Above you, Bucky seemed to be in a euphoric state. And he couldn’t stop praising you for it, either.

“Jesus Christ, doll. This fucking mouth. So pretty, so fucking pretty with a cock in it. You do this for Stevie too, don’t you? You’ve done it right here on this couch haven’t you?” 

Something about the way Bucky talked about you and Steve really riled you up. You hollowed out your cheeks, looking up at Bucky with wide eyes as you waited for him. After a second you, pulled back and grinned.

“I let him fuck my face right here, Bucky. Do you wanna do that too?” 

Bucky licked his lips and grinned right back, grabbing the side of your head ever so gently and guiding you right back down onto his cock. Then, he did exactly what he wanted. His hips thrusted up quickly, moving in and out of your mouth in record time. You gagged against him as he held you there briefly, then slowed down.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ come, doll,” he fell back against the couch as you took over once more, both hands alternating between massaging his balls and stroking up. You took him back into your mouth, sucking harder as Bucky’s moans grew louder. 

“So close, so fucking..” You pulled back and Bucky grabbed his cock with one hand, steadying your open mouth before him with the other. He growled as he came, hard. You stuck your tongue out, smiling wide as his climax washed over him, unloading onto your tongue and lips. You let it sit there in your mouth for a few extra seconds, keeping eye contact with Bucky as you swallowed it down.

He collapsed against the couch, eyes blown open wide. “Holy fucking shit. Stevie, the mouth on your girl..”

“You can address your compliments to her directly, Buck,” Steve laughed, standing from where he had been sitting in his chair and coming over to help you up. “You might have made his brain malfunction, sweetheart.”

You smiled proudly, meeting Steve’s lips for a kiss. You leaned against him again, tilting your head up to him. “Need you inside me, please?”

“Yeah?” Steve asked. His hand rested against the base of your neck, holding you flush against his chest. “And can Bucky watch?”

You couldn’t help but giggle and nod.

Bucky’s eyes opened slowly, as a smirk grew on his face too. He didn’t even bother cleaning himself up or pulling his pants into place again, simply leaning back and watching carefully as Steve led you over towards his desk. 

Steve took his time, kissing you quite generously as he peeled your dress up towards your waist. You felt him smile against your lips as his hands tugged on your underwear, sliding his fingers towards your center. Just as he had predicted, you had clearly really enjoyed yourself, as your soaked panties indicated.

“I’m gonna slide right in, baby,” he breathed against your neck, swirling his fingers around your clit. “Maybe next time, we do this at the same time. Do you want to try that? Bucky in your mouth while you’re full of me?” 

You groaned, twitching as Steve’s fingers sped up. It wasn’t long until your orgasm approached and soon enough you were quivering in Steve’s arms, ricocheting your way up and down the rollercoaster of senses as Steve turned and pressed you against his desk.

You laid down across it, on your stomach with your ass up in the air. You could feel Steve behind you, shoving your underwear to the side as he freed himself from his own pants. You gripped the edge of the desk as he entered you, slowly at first to make sure you were comfortable and ready. 

Across the room, you watched as Bucky was gripping his own cock, somehow hard again. Steve held onto your hips and thrusted steady, letting out his own series of grunts and moans as he fucked you.

Between your own moaning and Steve’s, you could barely hear Bucky across the room but he said your name out loud. You met his eyes as he was rubbing his shaft.

“You’re incredible, doll. Absolutely fucking incredible. And look at you, taking Steve so well. You like that, huh? Being so fucking full of him?”

With your own orgasm approaching, all you could do was cry out in agreement. Steve growled behind you, speeding up as he gripped your hips even tighter. 

“Look what you did to Bucky, baby,” Steve smacked his hand against your ass, holding you tight against him. “With just your mouth..” 

Bucky smirked, biting his lip as he watched you bounce against the desk. “Gonna let me feel that pussy next time?”

Your climax felt volcanic - a flurry of neurons firing off in your brain as you quivered, safely pressed against the desk as the weight of Steve covered you like a warm blanket. He came right after, growling in your ear as he spilled into you. Steve stayed in place after, as if unable to let go as he caught his breath. 

As you came back down to earth, Steve eventually stood, taking a moment to clean you up before coaxing you back into his desk chair. Yeah, you definitely needed a few more minutes. If you stood, you might fall down like a baby deer. 

You leaned back into the soft leather chair, eyes closed as you grinned. 

Steve kneeled before you, pressing a kiss to the side of your knee as he fixed your skirt. 

“Baby, you okay?” 

You opened your eyes and looked down. He was flush and seemed awfully content. You weren’t sure you had ever seen him smile like that before. 

You bit your lip, resisting your urge to scream with joy. You glanced from Steve over to Bucky. He was still sitting on the couch, though his pants were done up and buckled again. 

“I’m really good. Like, wow. Great. Amazing.”

Bucky laughed from his spot. “Doll, you’re amazing. I..” He sat up a bit straighter. “Best  sidecar I’ve ever had.”

You raised an eyebrow, looking back to Steve again. They were wearing matching grins. You didn’t want to ask. 

“I have worked up an appetite though..” You moved to stand. Steve got to his feet and offered his hand. “How do we feel about milkshakes?”

You collected yourself as Steve and Bucky strategized the best way to sneak out of the club and find a table at your favourite diner. 

There was a shift, though. When Bucky opened the car door for you, exchanging another smirk with Steve. Something in the air felt different.

Part 2 - The Penthouse

[inkedbybarnes]

anything

bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: bucky is determined to take care of you while you're sick.

word count: 1.6k+

warnings: mentions of insecurities, mentions of illnesses (but vaguely described), fluffy ahh shit bc why not, usage of pet names such as baby and doll. bucky being stubbornly sweet (it is indeed, a warning), lowercase writing.

i've been sick the past few days hence the creation of this fic. idk why my mood drops when i'm sick... once again, this is too fluffy even for my own good but i warned you and you're reading it still anyway. 🤨 haha jk, i hope you enjoy this one! 🩷

dividers by @cafekitsune!

reblogs, comments, and likes are highly appreciated! thank you. ♡

“can you please let me in, baby?"

that was the fifth time bucky had asked the same question, never giving up on his mission to take care of you after learning from jarvis – out of all people... or robots? – that you were sick.

“bucky, i promise, i'm fine. stop trying to break the door,” you answered, your clogged nose not helping as you sounded horrible even with a concrete wall separating you from him. “go and tell steve that you're joining the mission. you can't withdraw yourself just because i'm—achoo!”

your nose began to leak, and you were now distracted with the need to find the tissue box that used to be on your bed. you didn't hear the door clicking open as well as the heavy footsteps of a certain soldier walking towards you.

“just because you're what? sick?”

you jumped, feeling the edge of the bed sink with his weight. you quickly grabbed the tissue box that was mysteriously thrown under the bed before facing bucky with the duvet covering most of your body.

“how did you open the door?”

bucky shrugged. “i broke the doorknob. you didn't say anything about breaking doorknobs.”

you sighed, not winning this argument with bucky. “you shouldn't be here, bucky. you're supposed to be preparing for a mission tomorrow, not babysitting me!”

“and let you go through this on your own? tough chance, doll. i'm your boyfriend for fuck's sake, and don't tell me that you're worried about getting me sick because we both know i'm immune," he argued, reaching out and pulling the blanket down enough to reveal your face. “are you really upset that i want to take care of you? you should be demanding things from me, baby. instead you've been hiding from me.”

“because i don't need anything, bucky. i can handle myself just fine." you huffed, knowing you wanted his attention and care so badly. remembering your face was exposed, you felt insecure again. you dragged the cover back up and turned away. “i also don't want you to see me like this.”

“like what?"

“like a mess," you muttered underneath the sheets. “you've never seen me like this before, and i swear i am the worst when i'm sick. you don't have to see me like this, okay? i don't want you to.”

you felt silly. it was completely normal to get sick, but you hated how extreme your body would act out whenever an illness would attack you. you'd always sound and look like you were fighting a battle in hell alone. the way your mind would take an entire flip and drag you to your lowest point didn't help either. so, not only were you feeling physically horrible, you were also struggling mentally.

“a mess? what mess?” he asked, lifting the cover to join you underneath it which caught you off guard. you were entirely exposed to his eyes now. “there's my girl. where's the mess that you're talking about, huh?”

with the little amount of energy left in you, you brought your hands up to cover your face. he could see how much of a mess you were now, far from the dream you've painted since the day you dated him. now, you were nothing but a nightmare of your reality.

“don't you dare hide from me. i haven't seen you all day and it's driving me insane," he complained, pulling your hands away from yourself. he brought his thumb to your teary eyes, wiping the tears away before they could fall. “i can't believe you're hiding from me just because you think i can't handle seeing you sick. what did you think i'd do once i saw you like this?”

you sniffed, hesitation holding you back from telling him the truth. it's only been three months since you've started dating bucky, and you were still in that stage where you'd constantly try impress him.

you weren't faking yourself, no. however, you still did your best to only show your good side and tuck away your insecurities. unfortunately, you had to get sick too soon and have to risk bucky seeing you this way.

“you thought i'd leave you? won't like you anymore? get turned off or something?”

you nodded, knowing that was exactly what went through your head and a bit pissed that he was able to read your mind without actually having the power to do so.

bucky's eyes softened at your confession, letting out a soft sigh as he saw how badly you were beating yourself up.

“if it's because of how you look right now, then it's true. you do look different," he answered, your chest tightening. “your eyes lost their glow, you're frowning more often, your eyes are all puffy, you are definitely grumpier than usual, your lips are dry and chapped from—”

“okay, i get it, bucky! you don't have to rub it in my fa—”

“but i won't be doing whatever is on your mind. you're sick, doll. it'll affect you. it's normal. hell, i look even worse when i used to get sick, but you? you still look so fucking lovely." he held your face gently, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “even then, i don't give a fuck on how messy you can get. i'm your boyfriend. i should be taking care of you, helping you feel better, and bringing back the glow in your eyes. please, baby. let me take care of you.”

this time, you were looking back at him. "you mean it?"

"of course I mean it," he replied softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "i love you, doll. i don't care how you look like right now. you could look like a swamp monster and be sick as a dog, and i would still think that you are the most beautiful woman for me."

you giggled softly, his words filling you with warmth and reassurance. you felt so lucky to have a man who truly loved you and handled your insecurities with such understanding and care, and even sillier for thinking he'd leave you for such reasons.

“thank you. that really made me feel better," you told him, your arms slowly creeping forward to hold him. “i'm sorry for hiding. i was just scared to turn you off or anything.”

“are you kidding? i'm trying my best not to hold you down and kiss you all over. i haven't even hugged you for a day,” bucky said, a pout on the verge of forming on his face.

“it hasn't even been a day, bucky. now, who's dramatic?" you said, rolling your eyes playfully. “and you're supposed to be on a mission tomorrow! are you really not going?”

“when i could be here taking care of you?” he asked, as if the answer was already obvious. “the others can handle it. my main priority is to do anything you want and make you feel better.”

“anything?”

he smiled, leaning down to let your lips meet softly. "anything."

( a lil bonus < 3 )

“what is that smell?”

sam, steve, and natasha entered the compound after a quick briefing for their mission tomorrow. they joined tony and clint who were having a casual conversation in the living room about the best burrito in town.

the kitchen was an open space, the aroma of whatever bucky was cooking spreading all around the nearby rooms.

sam didn't hesitate to come closer and inspect the kitchen, finding the entire counter lined up with various spices and plates that bucky filled with his dishes.

“what's the occasion? did i miss something?" sam asked, grabbing a fork to take a little taste until bucky slapped his hand away. "ow! what was that for?"

"hands off." bucky warned, frowning at sam. “that's not for you, wilson."

“not even a nibble? come on, man. it smells amazing!”

their usual bickering caught the attention of the other avengers, immediately joining them in the kitchen which annoyed bucky even more when he saw them eyeing the food he made.

"before any of you try to ask, no. this is not for any of you."

"who's it even for?" natasha asked, the least interested to have a taste, but was curious either way.

bucky answered with your name. "she's sick."

"what? since when?" clint asked, worry flashing across his face. "can we do anything?"

bucky glanced up before hesitantly answering. "well.. she did say she wanted to watch a movie after eating."

clint snapped his fingers and smiled. "i'm on it."

"i'll get jarvis to check on her vitals every hour and create a diagnosis," tony said, already tapping on his smart watch. "assuming she wouldn't be too comfortable letting the entire team know what's going on with her body, i'll just let you receive the updates. just update me with what you can, yeah?"

"i'll talk to fury and let you both have a week free from work," steve offered. "she needs the rest and she needs you."

"oh, i'll handle fury. he can't say no to his favourite," natasha said with a smug smile. "tell her i'll bring her all her favourite snacks once we're back from our mission, and that she better be back to full health so we can go out together."

bucky nodded, chest warming with the genuine concern they shared. he was excited to let you know how loved and deserving of all this you were.

if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌

[cinnabunwanda]

Eating out ✰ Natasha Ramnoff ⌇DRABBLES

content warning — smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, clit play (sort of?), dirty talk

pairing — fem reader x natasha romanoff

summary — Nat, captivated by your soft lips, manipulates her, causing her to moan your name. You feel guilty for Steve and Bucky, causing her to swell and twitch.

word count — 712

authors note — hey guys! so sorry that I haven't been posting i've been away with my husband. its also hard to post and get out of bed when you have depression lmao. so I will try and be regular when posting ty all!!

The softness of your lips always surprised Nat, even though she had been in this position countless times before. Each time, the teasing touch of your tongue against her sensitive folds sent shivers down her spine and left her moaning your name.

"Mmm, you're so good at that, baby," she moaned breathlessly, loving how effortlessly you could bring her to bliss. It was a high that she knew she could never achieve without you.

"You like that, don't you?" You smirked confidently as you continued to pleasure her with your skilled tongue.

"Yes!" Nat's cry only motivated you further as you worked your magic on her. You didn't feel the need to hold down her hips or ask her to be quiet; the feeling of her grinding against your face only added to the intensity. And as for any noise...well, let's just say the Avengers were used to your "private activities."

Your hair was tugged gently by Nat's hand as she reached new levels of pleasure, sending a deliciously painful sensation through your scalp and adding to the excitement coursing through your body. This was what you loved most - being on your knees on the plush carpet (installed by Tony at Nat's request) and worshiping every inch of her pale skin. Your plump lips danced along her spread thighs, leaving teasing kisses and playful nips on her hips.

But finally, they would find their way to her most sensitive spot - her swollen clit. With a soothing rhythm of sucking and flicking with your tongue, you could feel yourself grinning as Nat whined and squirmed beneath you. The little bud between your teeth would send shocks of pleasure through both of you as it was pulled out in a slow motion before being released back into place.

"Please." That one word was music to your ears and fueled your own desire for her. It was a sound that you craved - the way Nat's lips formed and shaped around the word, begging for more.

"Please what, princess? Do you want me to stop?" For added emphasis, you pulled away completely, leaving her body cold and craving your touch.

"No!" Nat's whispered plea was met with her hands reaching for you, her hips wriggling on the bed as she tried to get closer to you. The covers twisted and bunched around her hips as she squirmed in pleasure under your skillful touch.

"Oh? So my little baby wants me to make her cum?" Your voice was teasing, but also a bit cruel as you pushed your lips into a pout and ran your hands over her quivering thighs.

"Please, please make me cum." It wasn't often that Nat begged; she enjoyed being in control. But today, just like every now and then, you convinced her to give up that control and let you take care of her.

"Say my name. Moan it, scream it, and I'll make you cum." You demanded this promise from her, a devious smirk playing on your lips when she whispered your name. "Does it feel good to say my name, baby? Do you like having it on your tongue?"

She screamed your name this time, so loud that you almost felt guilty for Steve and Bucky - their enhanced hearing would definitely pick up on what was happening between the two of you. But you couldn't bring yourself to care as you leaned in again, ready to pleasure your girl.

When she came, it was loud and beautiful. Nat's mouth was open in a silent scream - the telltale sign that she was seeing stars - while her legs shook and hips thrust, chasing your mouth as you leaned back to watch.

Your fingers glided over her thighs, eventually reaching her clit in small circles to help prolong her orgasm. You watched hungrily as Nat's plump lips were pulled between her teeth, biting and manipulating them until they were raw and swollen.

"That's it, just like that." Nat was coming back down to earth, your soothing voice bringing her back as her chest heaved and thighs twitched under your touch.

But your fingers still remained on her clit, slow yet persistent as you hummed thoughtfully.

"I think I want you to do that again; maybe I can make you squirt this time."

©Elena do not copy, edit, or translate my works.

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

hi lovely! if your taking requests and feel comfortable writing this, bucky barnes x depressed reader? maybe even sh and hurt comfort? if not totally cool though.

have a great day ☕️🍪

Let Me Help You » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Pairings: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: Bucky tries to help you when you’re feeling depressed.

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, language, depression, mentions of self harm, kissing, pet names

A/N: Thank you for the request, nonnie🩵

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buck-star

GIF MADE BY ME! I know it’s not perfect, but I tried🩵

Bucky has noticed your mood has been different over the past couple days. At first, he thought it was your period, but he knows when your period starts so that’s not it. He also thought it was one of those days, but those days don’t usually last a couple days. Plus, you barely have said anything to him, besides “I love you”. That’s when he knows something is wrong. Now, he getting worried.

Bucky was getting ready for work, but now he’s thinking he should take the day off to take care of you. He looked at you. You’re currently laying in bed with the blankets pulled up underneath your chin. Bucky sighed and took his clothes off, putting his comfortable clothes back on.

“What are you doing?” You asked quietly.

“Taking the day off to stay home with you.” Bucky answers.

Bucky grabbed his phone off the dresser and texted Steve, telling him that he’s not coming into work today and he’s going to stay home with you.

“Alright, doll.” He sat down next to you on the bed. “I’m all yours.” He says.

You always smile when he says that, but you didn’t this time.

“Talk to me, babydoll.” He laid down next to you, propping his head up with his vibranium hand. “I know there’s something wrong. Tell me what it is.” He says.

You stayed silent. Your fingers fiddled with the blanket. You know Bucky isn’t going to stop asking you what’s wrong if you don’t say anything. You might as well tell him. You sighed and looked up at your boyfriend, readjusting your head on the pillow.

“I feel depressed.” You tell him quietly.

“Why does my doll feel that way?” Bucky asks, moving your messy hair from your face.

You shrugged your shoulders.

“I just do.” You say.

Bucky caressed the back of your head and leaned towards you, kissing your forehead.

“Let me help you.” He says.

You stared at him before nodding.

“First things first, let’s get you cleaned up.” He gently pulled the blankets off of your body. “You’ll feel refreshed afterwards.” He says.

Bucky got off the bed, holding his hand out for you. You reached your hand out, putting it in his. He helped you out of bed and walked you to the bathroom.

“You get undressed and I’ll get the bath ready for you.” He says.

You nodded. Bucky got the bath ready for you and you took your clothes off. You stood next to the bathroom sink, patiently waiting for the bath to be ready. You glanced at the sink counter, seeing a razor blade.

Was your depression really going to make you go to point where you’re going to harm yourself?

You picked it up, staring at it. You weren’t going to harm yourself with it while your boyfriend is in the room. Bucky turned around, his heart dropping and his eyes widening when he see the razor blade in your hand.

“Doll…” Bucky whispers. “Hand it over.” He says, holding out his hand.

You looked at Bucky, slowly extending your arm towards him and put the razor blade in his hand. He threw it away. Your bottom lip quiver and you broke down in tears.

“I’m sorry.” You cried. “I wasn’t going to do it. The thought just crossed my mind.” You explained.

“I know. I believe you.” Bucky kisses your forehead. “Let’s get you in the bath, ok?” He whispers.

You nodded. You got in the bathtub and sat down with your knees against your chest and your arms wrapped around your legs. You have to admit the warmth of the water and the scent of the soap was soothing.

“Are you staying in here with me?” You asked, looking up at Bucky.

“Of course I am, babydoll.” He smiles.

Bucky put a chair next to the bathtub and sat down. He took your hair out of the messy bun you had it in and wetted your hair before washing it. His fingers gently massaged your scalp. That was soothing too.

“I have to ask.” He begins. “Have you… you know, hurt yourself when I’m not home?” He asks.

“No.” You answered honestly. “The thought of it crossed my mind and that’s it.” You explained.

“Can I see your wrists please?” He asks softly.

“I thought you believed me?” You asked, your eyes tearing up.

“I do. I just want to make sure.” He says.

You nervously held your wrists up, even though you didn’t have scars on them. Bucky looked at your wrists, seeing no scars. He brought your wrists up to his lips and kissed them.

“I’m sorry for thinking about it. I didn’t mean to.” You apologized, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, doll.” Bucky murmurs softly. “Let’s finish getting you cleaned up.” He says, wiping your tears away.

Bucky treated you like a princess the whole time. He always treats you like a princess, but he was just more attentive and not letting you out of his sight.

“Let’s get you out of here.” He says.

Bucky held a towel up for you. You got out of the tub and walked over to him. He wrapped the towel around your wet body and kissed the top of your head. He lead you to the bedroom and found something comfortable and warm for you to put on, which consists of his red henley, pajama shorts, and your favorite pair of fuzzy socks.

“I feel warm.” You say, a small smile forming on your lips.

“That’s good, doll.” Bucky smiles.

Bucky is happy to know that you’re warm. That’s a start.

He grabbed your hair brush from the bathroom and brushed your hair.

“How do you want your hair?” He asks.

“2 braids please.” You tell him.

Bucky smiles and kisses the top of your head. He divided your hair into two sections and then braided it.

“How do you feel now?” He asks softly.

“Refreshed.” You answered.

Bucky kissed your lips softly. He felt you melt into his touch.

“Are you hungry?” He asks.

“A little.” You say.

“What would you like to he?” He asks. “I’ll make you anything you want.” He says.

“Mac and Cheese.” You answered.

Bucky knows that’s your comfort food. He took you to the living room and got you comfortable with a blanket and something to drink, along with your favorite show playing on the TV while he went to the kitchen to make you Mac and Cheese.

“Thank you, Bucky.” You say as he hands you a bowl of Mac and Cheese.

“Anytime, babydoll.” Bucky smiles, sitting down next to you.

For a moment, you moved the noodles around with the fork while staring in the bowl.

“Doll, you need to eat.” He says softly.

“I know.” You mumbled.

You took a bit of Mac and Cheese. Bucky had a smile on his face, knowing that you’re feeling better.

“There you go, babydoll.” He praises softly, rubbing your back.

You continued to eat till the bowl was empty. You put the empty bowl on the coffee table before snuggling yourself against Bucky’s side. Bucky wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back soothingly.

“Thank you for helping me.” You said quietly.

“You don’t have to thank me, doll. I’ll help you no matter what.” Bucky says softly.

“I love you, Buck.” You smiled.

“I love you too, babydoll.” He murmurs and kisses your lips softly.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky Doll

[booksandabeer]

Celebrating 10 Years of CA:TWS — A Stucky Rec List

Rec list for the CA:TWS 10th Anniversary Event @catws-anniversary (thank you so much for organizing this event! 💙) | Prompt: Memories

10 years, huh? 10 years of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. 10 years of what many—myself included—still consider to be the best MCU movie ever made.

But also 10 years of post-TWS fanfiction. 10 years of Bucky Barnes Recovering and Steve Rogers' Sadness Errands; of Up All Night to Get Bucky and Revenge Road Trips; of Winter Soldier Trauma Umbrellas and Everybody Needing A Goddamn Hug; of Good Bros and Soft Epilogues. 10 years and tens of thousands of Steve/Bucky fics later, here we are.

So, to mark the occasion, let's take a trip down memory lane and celebrate the movie and the stories it inspired: One fic from each year since it all began:

There's really only one rule here: All fics are set before, during, or after the events of CA:TWS and/or reimagine its plot in interesting ways. Naturally, many of the fics on this list are post-TWS canon divergent, but I tried to go for a nice variety of length, genre, and popularity to keep it interesting. Speaking of popularity, this is very much not intended as a round-up of ‘most popular fics of each year’ because—and I say this with all the love and respect in my heart for those stories and their authors—nobody needs a rec list for that, and I believe in spreading the love. Here we go:

Poltergeists by enemyofrome | 17K, T

Author's summary: When the helicarriers blow up and the Winter Soldier goes on the run, he takes Steve with him. He's got a name written in Morse code on the inside of his arm, a ton of questions he doesn't know how to ask, and now, a new handler with absolutely zero sense of self-preservation to contend with. Life is hard. In which Bucky tries to figure out whether he's a human being, Steve does everything he can to keep from losing him again, and there are lots of explosions.

Starting off with one of the best versions of the 'Bucky didn't leave Steve, he took him with him after the Potomac' fics that were (and still are!) so popular post-TWS. This one stands out because of its fantastic beginning, its interesting take on how Bucky was broken and remade into the Winter Soldier, and because it allows both characters to be messy. It's a popular fanon trope that it's Steve who brings out a ruthless, almost vicious streak in Bucky, but here it's emphasized that this is very much a mutual thing. Just like Bucky, who's often afforded the "excuse" of still figuring out how to be a person again, Steve gets to be difficult here—without ever turning him into a stubborn asshole. They're both traumatized, and they're both allowed to show it and to lash out, including at each other. Also, this fic will give you capital-F Feelings about morse codes and apples. Believe me.

sleepwalk back to the battle site by ftmsteverogers | 22K, T

Author's summary: “I’m going to track down every HYDRA agent that’s left,” Bucky says, buckling his gun deftly to his belt. “And then I’m going to kill them.” “Oh,” Steve says. “Come with me?” Bucky asks, dangerous hands tucked into his pockets.

A classic post-TWS fic that picks up right after the movie ends. Equal parts Revenge Roadtrip, Bucky Barnes recovering, and Steve Rogers being in urgent need of a good hug. This starts out intensely melancholic—Steve's despair and helplessness are palpable and there's a scene involving a drinking glass that still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Halfway through, the story changes pace and becomes much more action-heavy, but it still manages to allow space for the quiet, intimate moments between Steve and Bucky. They have both become sharp and deadly men, but they're also allowed to be soft with each other. Their coming together feels sweet and inevitable. I also really enjoyed the Steve characterization here. His absolute conviction that Bucky is still Bucky at his very core and always will be, but also his emotional and intellectual flexibility to adapt to this still-new-to-him, changed version of Bucky rang very true to me.   

Surveillance by Sproings, 7K in 2 parts, G

Author's summary: If there are ears everywhere, that means it's somebody's job to listen. I hate my job.

Do you ever think about how SHIELD bugged Steves DC apartment and how horrible that was, but also...you're kind of curious what they might have overheard? Do you ever wonder about the people who listened in on his sad, lonely life? Well, here you go. An outsider POV fic told "through the ears" of an unnamed SHIELD agent assigned to spy on the private life of a man who doesn't really have much of one. The story begins just before IM3 and takes us all the way through the events of CA:TWS and beyond. It's clever, original and told with great empathy for both the subject under surveillance and the person carrying out that surveillance—who increasingly questions its purpose. Here's a small snippet to give you an idea of the fic's style:

He got a phone call, once. He put it on speaker, too, which was very exciting for me at the time. It was from an archivist at the Smithsonian. They seemed really surprised that he answered his own phone calls. The two of them talked for a long time about an exhibit the museum was planning. A very long time. As if one of them was starstruck, and the other was desperate for any kind of human interaction.

What Gets You Through by velleities | 12K, M

Author's summary: For Steve, getting through each day is a process – one he’s currently failing at spectacularly. Feeling out of place in this brave new world, he hopes to find a home in Bucky, and looks for him with everything he’s got. But Bucky doesn’t want to be found, and when he does touch base with Steve, he never sticks around for long. Bucky has embraced the modern age, leaving Steve lagging behind – or so Steve believes, until Bucky shows him otherwise.

This post-TWS fic revolves around five encounters in liminal spaces, and each time Bucky has pieced himself back together again just a little more. Despite their increasingly longer and more honest conversations, and Bucky's incremental progress, he always disappears again, leaving Steve to grapple with his heartbreak. There are quietly gorgeous moments in this fic (the bus and the church in particular were my personal favorites) as well as wonderfully crafted characterizations. Bucky is initially portrayed as somewhat feral in some ways yet surprisingly well-adjusted in others, and I love that Steve can't help but be a little annoyed at that. However, it quickly becomes clear that, in good old Bucky Barnes fashion, much of it is really just a front put up for Steve's benefit...

A Real Boy by itsnotbleak | 5K, T

Author's summary: It took the Winter Soldier three weeks to remember that human beings needed to sleep and eat. It took Steve far too long to realise the Winter Soldier was sleeping in his bed.

A wonderful, short-but-doesn't-feel-like-it fic (in the very best way) set immediately after CA:TWS, in which Bucky secretly and then soon not so secretly visits Steve in his apartment. Follow along as Bucky Barnes argues with his brain about sandwich toppings, the importance of a good night's sleep, and the necessity of personal hygiene. Also: how to best go about becoming a real boy (again). And who the hell is that Bucky guy anway? This is as soft and sweet a Bucky recovery fic as you're ever going to find. It's funny but not silly; sad in a way that all of these stories inherently are—because, well, these are some tragic boys—but not super angsty or depressing. A beautiful story with a lovely, hopeful ending.

Savage God by PottersPink | 36K, M

Author's summary (abbr.): Past, present, future, Steve knows Bucky Barnes. It’s why he recognized him when he found him in that alley in April of 1942, even though Bucky was older, stronger, wearier; he called himself The Asset, and had a metal fucking arm. He flinched when Steve tried to touch him, and when Steve told him he loved him, his first response was to ask why. Seventy years later, Steve wakes up in the twenty-first century, and he doesn’t know whether to be heartbroken or hopeful when some of the things Bucky revealed to him in 1942 start falling into place.

An absolutely riveting AU that will have you on the edge of your seat the whole time. I'm itching to talk about it more but I cannot since it would mean spoiling the hell out of it. What I can say is that it's a very intriguing and clever exploration of what would happen if Steve knew about the future but without really knowing any of the details. How would it change the events of CA:TFA and CA:TWS, and how would it change Steve himself? I so very much appreciate this characterization of Steve as smart, competent, and unwavering with a hefty dose of no fucks left to give. This fic features some really nifty time travel and plotting, great action sequences and a very satisfying ending where certain people get their much-deserved comeuppance. Plus: Bonus Shrinkyclinks (kind of)!

Charlie Lock by seapigeon | 105K, M (hard M)

Author's summary (abbr.): The Winter Soldier knows that sometimes, in order to make the kill, you must destroy what the Target lives for. Steve Rogers knows that he can't fight his captors. If he fights, they'll kill Bucky. But the price of his life is steep. Tony Stark has nothing left to live for, but he's needed. So all these miserable motherfuckers better stay alive, too. Clint Barton never expected to be a leader. But a leader he is, and no one else is going to die on his watch. --- A story in which the first wave of Project Insight succeeds, and the Avengers must pick up the pieces and find a way to stop Hydra from completing its work with Zola's algorithm.

This is not only the longest fic on this list, but also the angstiest one—by a mile, so please heed the tags. It's dark, disturbing, and brutal. However, it is neither relentless misery porn nor is it shocking for shock's sake, where everything is magically forgotten and/or healed the moment Steve and Bucky start kissing. Instead, the author puts these characters into an absolutely horrifying situation and then slowly, gently guides them out of it and into the light.

It's a Stucky fic but it's also a multi-POV ensemble piece featuring all the Avengers and other familiar faces. If you are someone who'll always be a little bitter about the unfulfilled promise of an Avengers found family, then this is for you. In this AU, they do not only fight together, but grow together in every way. They truly become a team, not just co-workers barely tolerating each other. The story takes its time exploring the characters and the group dynamics. Steve and Bucky are definitely at the center of the narrative but there is space here for every member of the team to grieve and adjust to the new reality and to find at least some measure of healing. It's a story about the meaning and the consequences of revenge, about hope and resilience, and about love in all its many forms. It also has one of the most satisfying title drops that will have you pump your fist in triumph when it happens. It's a tough read, but ultimately a very rewarding one.

SPELEVINK by Ginny_Potter | 10K, G

Author's summary: Bucky’s back. He’s leaving me messages through IKEA plushies, Steve texts Sam. jesus christ, rogers, Sam texts back. Or, Bucky lives in an IKEA Tiny Apartment, Steve is a dancing monkey once again, and somehow they find their way back to each other.

This is an absolute DELIGHT of a fic that will have you alternately laughing out loud and crying quietly into your SVARTFIBBLA blanket (super-soft, recycled polyester, 47x63"). It's ‘crack treated seriously’ at its very best and a clear homage to the fandom classic Infinite Coffee… (that’s not a dig or a spoiler, the author says so in the author’s note).

Now if you know me, you’ll know that angst o’clock is my happy hour and I’m usually not very into these heavy-on the-humor quasi-absurdist fics (because I’m super special and not like all the other girls, obviously). But. I LOVED this story so, so much. It’s such a fun read—even when it makes you cry—and it really became one of those ‘huh, I guess I’m into this after all’ moments of joyful (self)discovery via fanfic for me. I never thought a pair of oven mitts could move me like that, and I'll never be able to walk into an IKEA again without muttering "F******!" under my breath (iykyk). Absolutely fantastic.

a handful of dust by RecoveringTheSatellites | 20K, M

Author's summary: Steve looks for Bucky for a long time. But the thing is that Bucky doesn't get found, Bucky finds. Bucky always finds Steve. This takes a hard left after the Potomac and stumbles through the dark a lot after. Take a bit of running, the occasional synaptic misfire, the resurfacing of old memories, a dash or two of PTSD, and (eventually) a nice dose of action, stir, and serve over some unresolved issues.

Honestly, the second paragraph up there perfectly sums up the story. It's a good ol' fashioned Bucky recovery fic with some angst, some action, and a whole lot of healing and devotion. Steve and Bucky get to be very sappy about each other, but also extremely Badass Battle Boyfriends™ when somebody threatens their hard-won happiness. Both are allowed to be messy, unstable, and very co-dependent.

This was the first time this author played in the Stucky sandbox and I mean it 100% as a compliment when I say that you can tell. This is someone with "fresh legs" diving headfirst and very deep into the Stucky trope pool and they're doing it with great relish and enthusiam. The result is a story that rejects some of the tried and true conventions of the post-TWS fanfic canon and lovingly embraces others, but that is definitely aware of and in dialogue with the body of work that came before it. Also, it's just a really fun read that gives these two the very soft ending they deserve.

Everybody is Supposed to be Dead by pollutedstar | 22K, M

Author's summary: In 1944, Bucky Barnes falls off a train into the Alps, missing and presumed dead. Months later, Steve Rogers nosedives a plane into the arctic. In 2010, the Winter Soldier project is uncovered by S.H.I.E.L.D., and Bucky Barnes is found alive. Three years later, Steve Rogers’ frozen body is found in the ocean.

A really interesting AU and a fascinating exploration of what could’ve been; the impact it would’ve had on the events and characters if Bucky had been the one to be “found” first. How would it affect Steve to come back into a world where he isn’t quite so lonely and adrift, and where he does have the relief and reassurance of having Bucky by his side and at his back? How would that have changed the way he acted and reacted to this strange new world and the people and organizations trying to recruit him to their cause even though the ice hasn't even completely melted off his body yet?

There are a lot of astute and precise observations about characters like Tony, Natasha, and Clint in this story, and on top of that, it offers up some very compelling insights into Steve's conflicted and difficult relationship with his role as Captain America.

it's never over (hey orpheus) by romcommie | 12K WIP, 2/?, M

Author's summary: He remembers a song first and then everything else follows, burying him below. Or, Bucky Barnes pieces a life back together with a few choice verses, some duct tape and seventy years worth of spite. Steve Rogers tries very hard to relearn there's a life to be lived in the first place.

Ok, listen up, people! This is a WIP and there are only 2 chapters posted so far, but I haven't felt this absolutely bonkers excited about a post-CA:TWS fic in a long while. We're talking frothing at the mouth here. I have such a massive crush on this fic, it's a bit embarrassing, really. It's one of those fics where you know after just a few paragraphs that you're in very good, very competent hands. The wealth of historical and cultural detail; the way the story shifts/flips/flickers back and forth between time, perspective and narrative levels; the Bucky voice—it's all so well done! I'm so insanely excited to see where the author takes this!

ENJOY!