#and also then i saw a post about how apparently everyone has been hating the mcu since 2015 and i was like uhh speak for yourself

[waterhousse]

I Saw Her For the First Time

I saw her for the first time, and I was lonely for the last time

Pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

Summary: you’re practically the girl of her dreams. it’s a shame her friend saw you first.

Author’s note: HELLO i’m back at it again with pure fluff. i didn’t know exactly how to label this one so i just put modern ellie but it has a little bit of guitarist ellie and also nerdy ellie. hope you like it !

Photo creds: elliesxgun and vamp4r3 on pinterest :)

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• • • •

ellie was absentmindedly playing a made-up melody on her guitar, softly strumming away as she listened to the conversation her friends were having. lisa, her roomate and vocalist of her band, was telling everyone about the new girl she had been talking to. it was the first time she heard your name.

"she's hot,” was dina's final veredict once she was done scrolling through your profile. she passed the phone to jesse, who immediately agreed.

“i know. she’s really cool and funny but she’s really into comics and fantasy movies and i don’t know shit about that.”

"so, she's a nerd."

"basically, but a pretty one. it’s just that ninety percent of the time i don't know what the hell she's talking about." lisa's complaint was followed by a tired sigh as she threw her head back on the couch. then, she looked to her side, where ellie was. "she reminds me of you, actually."

she instantly frowned, "are you calling me a nerd?"

“i mean…” jesse trailed off before dodging the water bottle ellie threw at him.

"you like all those things, right? maybe you could help me with her."

"help you how, exactly?"

"well, i kinda already told her i like all of what she mentioned so whenever that comes up you'll take over and say whatever makes me look cool."

"what's in it for me?"

ellie sat emotionless as her friend began listing everything she could do for her in exchange for her help, such as deep cleaning the apartment or buying her favorite snacks every day.

she let out a low whistle, “someone's desperate.”

“dude—”

“why can’t you just talk to her about something else?”

“because i already told her i liked all of that stuff! keep up.” lisa rolled her eyes. “tell me if it’s not worth it.” she quickly typed in your instagram username and passed the phone to her.

ellie’s eyes almost widened at the sight of you, but she managed to mask her reaction just in time. she silently scrolled down your instagram profile, clicking on the posts that caught her attention the most.

"so, what do you think?"

"uh, she's alright."

you were more than alright.

"you have such high standards,” dina huffed.

yes, and you apparently met them all.

lisa snatched the phone back from her hands as the group began discussing a new topic; ellie’s picky taste in women, even when they practically threw themselves at her. it had been a while since her friends last saw her on a date or even having a crush.

ellie threw her head back with a groan as she stood up from the couch, “are you going to keep talking about me or are we gonna rehearse?”

their band was a regular on friday nights at one of their town’s most popular bars. over the time they had been playing there, they had gathered an audience of people that went to see them. ellie would hate to disappoint them, or maybe she just hated when the conversation was centered around her.

“i think we’re gonna keep talking about you,” dina joked as she picked up her bass.

once rehearsal was over, lisa practically ran to her phone to check if she had any new messages from you. apparently, she had asked to go on a date next week and you had said yes.

“you’re gonna to have to teach me everything you know,” lisa mumbled to ellie with her eyes glued to the phone as she quickly typed her reply to you.

“great, just how i wanted to spend my free time.”

even though ellie had no real interest in doing that favor to her friend, she stuck to her word. whenever the “nerdy topics”, has lisa had called them, came up, she took over the conversation. that part of the plan wasn’t awful, in fact, ellie secretly enjoyed the moments she got to talk to you, but she had to keep reminding herself that you weren’t actually talking to her, but lisa.

it had been a confusing last couple of days.

“just try to not let those topics come up in the conversation and if they do, just agree with everything she says,” ellie advised lisa, because not even her intensive teaching could help the poor girl to memorize anything. “re-read the conversations i had with her. that could work. especially the one we're having right now."

“you’re trying to sound like me, right?”

“sure, i’m making some spelling mistakes and everything.”

“fuck you,” lisa laughed from the bathroom. “alright, tell her i’m on my way.”

“remember to read the last few messages in case she brings them up.”

“thanks, el. see you later!” and with that, she was out of their shared apartment.

ellie sighed, dramatically plopping down on the couch. she swept her gaze over the living room in hopes to find something to do to keep her mind occupied, but nothing seemed appealing enough. she used her phone for a bit, but she couldn’t fully concentrate on what she was seeing.

after tossing and turning for a while, she ended up falling asleep. it wasn’t until two hours later she was suddenly woken up by lisa’s voice mixed with somebody else’s. the sound of the door shutting closed was what made her fully open her eyes, instantly setting them on the two people that had just entered the apartment.

“sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up,” lisa apologized, but ellie didn’t even acknowledge her. instead, she looked past her friend to the person behind her.

you were standing there, an apologetic and slightly embarrassed look on your face. “i didn’t mean to intrude, i’m sorry.”

ellie sat up straight, her fingers combing through her short hair in an attempt to make herself more presentable. “it’s fine, don’t worry.”

an adorable smile formed on your lips, “you’re ellie, right?”

you didn’t wait for her confirmation and proceeded to introduce yourself while she thought about how crazy it was that you didn’t know how many times you two had already spoken.

ellie remained silent, watching you smile shyly at her. then, she realized she hadn’t said anything in a while and it was probably really weird. “it— it’s really nice to meet you.”

“i’m going to the bathroom, i’ll be right back,” lisa said before gesturing you to take a seat on the couch.

hesitantly, you sat down next to ellie. there was another moment of silence in which you looked at her with uncertainty, fearing she might be uncomfortable with your presence. you didn’t know if it’d be best for you to talk to her or to just wait for lisa to come back, not wanting things to get even more awkward.

when ellie returned one of your quick glances, you decided to say something.

“sorry about coming here without letting you know first. i can’t go home yet, my roommate has a guy over,” you admitted with a grimace.

ellie nodded, laughing softly at the reason you were there. “i don’t mind, really.”

“thanks, anyway,” you grinned.

“so, how’d the date go?”

“uh, good.” your answer wasn’t completely honest, ellie could tell. she narrowed your eyes at you, not wanting to pry but at the same time dying to know.

“are you sure about that?”

“you’re her friend, i can’t gossip about her with you.”

“we’re actually not that close.”

you playfully bumped your shoulder into hers before your eyes set on her for a few seconds. she tilted her head as she returned your gaze, silently trying to convince you to talk.

“i don’t know if you’re very persuasive or if i’m just too weak.”

ellie’s smile widened as you sighed, giving in.

“i had a great time,” you began, searching for the right words to say, “but we didn’t hit it off as well as we did through text.”

“that’s weird.” her mumbled words were followed by an awkward chuckle.

“yeah, i know. don’t get me wrong, though, she’s great, but it felt like i was hanging out with a friend. that spark, i guess, you hope to feel on a first date just wasn’t there.”

ellie nodded as she took your words in. “i’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“oh, it’s fine. we talked about it on the way here. it’s all good. actually, she invited me to see you guys play on friday. you’re the guitarist, right?”

“yeah,” ellie smiled proudly, sitting more comfortably on the couch. “we’re really good. well, you’ll see for yourself. don’t wanna get your expectations too high.”

“it might be a little too late for that,” you replied just as lisa came back.

there was a smile on her lips, she had managed to hear the last bit of the conversation. “we’re great, actually.”

you hummed, “we’ll see.”

“hey, want me to show you the records i was telling you about?”

“can you tell me where the bathroom is, first?”

“sure, it’s the door at the end of the hallway. come to my room afterwards.”

“got it.” you nodded as you stood up from the couch, ellie’s curious eyes following you.

she looked away just in time, because lisa’s gaze fell upon her the moment you were out of sight. “what do you think?”

“she’s cool. plus, she friendzoned you so i gotta give her more points for that.”

“she did not friendzone me!” she protested in a hushed voice. “we friendzoned each other, it was a mutual decision.”

“sure, lis, whatever you say.” ellie went to her room immediately after that, not giving her a chance to defend herself.

she was feeling strangely happy about the outcome of lisa’s date. her friend had always been a player, taking advantage of her ‘rockstar’ status. ellie had done that, too, but lisa loved to be involved with multiple people at the same time. with the short interactions ellie had shared with you, she knew you deserved better than that.

ellie opened her bedroom door as she hummed a melody, not expecting to have company. you were by her bed, closely inspecting one of her action figures. she stood under the doorframe, momentarily frozen at the sight. then, a soft chuckle escaped her lips, alerting you of her presence.

“i’ve been meaning to get this for a while—” you began saying, stopping yourself mid-sentence once you looked up and realized that it was ellie the one standing there and not lisa. “oh, hey. what’s up?”

ellie just smiled as she made her way to her bed under your confused stare. “nothing much,” ellie casually replied as she threw herself on the bed. “just love the comfort of my room, y’know?”

your eyebrows rose slightly, immediately leaving the action figure where you found it, “your room? i’m sorry! there were stickers on the door of lisa’s favorite characters—”

ellie laughed as you kept apologizing. she propped herself onto her elbows, waiting for you to be done with your rambling.

“i promise i didn’t touch anything else.”

“it’s okay, i don’t mind,” ellie answered with a half-smile.

“so, this stuff is all yours?” you asked, sweeping your gaze around the room. it was decorated with a bunch of fantasy movies posters and, on the shelves, there were different book collections as well as many other action figures of, coincidentally, most of your favorite characters.

“uh, yeah.”

“i see…” you hummed before your eyes met hers again.

ellie swallowed hard, her confidence quickly fading away. “lisa and i have practically the same taste,” she was quick to explain, hoping you wouldn’t catch the pathetic quiver on her voice.

“right… okay, i’ll see you friday, then?”

“yeah, see you friday.”

you gave her one last smile before stepping out of her room. it wasn’t until she was alone that she became aware of her racing heart. she laid back on the bed, bringing her hands to her face as she let out a heavy sigh.

that night, ellie fell asleep trying to convince herself that you hadn’t figured out she was behind some of lisa’s texts, that you hadn’t been capable of reading her that well after that short conversation.

ellie woke up the next day ready to avoid thinking about the issue as much as she could, but the universe seemed to conspire against her.

the band was having a break from rehearsal, each of them sprawled around jesse’s garage. ellie had taken her friend’s place behind the drums, absentmindedly playing a beat that faltered when dina brought up your name in a conversation she wasn’t even participating in.

“she’s coming to see us play even after you fucked up the date? woah, maybe i underestimated you.”

“i didn’t fuck up the date.” lisa rolled her eyes.

ellie snickered from her place, “then why were you back at the apartment at, like, 10 p.m?”

“whatever. we both decided it was best for us to stay as friends.”

“i believe you, don’t worry.” jesse gave her a pat on her back before mouthing ‘i don’t’ to ellie and dina, who secretly laughed. “okay, ladies, let’s get back to work. we don’t wanna make ourselves look bad infront of lisa’s new friend, right?”

“yeah, she’s got pretty high expectations,” ellie mentioned as she picked up her guitar. the smile on her face didn’t go unnoticed by her friends.

“you talked to her?”

she looked up at dina’s question, who was staring at her, intrigued. ellie frowned, her guitar pick between her teeth as she tied her hair up in a short, low ponytail.

“yeah, why? i’m not some antisocial freak, y’know?”

“every time i take someone home you lock yourself in your room until they leave,” lisa snorted.

“this time i was caught by surprise. i wasn’t expecting you to come back so early,” ellie chuckled at the last part.

“fuck you, ellie,” lisa complained. “y’know what? let’s just get this over with before i stick this microphone up your—”

“okay, fine, fine. calm down.”

rehearsal went by smoothly with the four of them behaving as profesional as they could, sometimes jesse went off beat to annoy them or ellie would zone out in the middle of a song. still, they had mastered their set and they were definitely ready to play, but there was a deep, strange feeling inside ellie.

it took her a while to figure out she was nervous about the upcoming show. it had been a while since that happened to her, so it was extremely weird for her. the anxiety stayed with her until the following day, and it had actually gotten worse.

ellie ended up going on stage with that horrible feeling still present in the pit of her stomach. she tried to remind herself that it was just another show but, at the same, she knew it wasn’t. knowing you’d be in the audience had definitely affected her, but she didn’t want to look further into what that could possibly mean.

maybe she didn’t come, the thought came to mind in an attempt of calming herself down. perhaps if she repeated it enough she’d fool herself into thinking it was actually true.

she was obviously wrong.

you were there, tapping your fingers against the drink you had ordered. just as you were taking a sip, the lights dimmed and the loud chatter became whispering voices that were soon interrupted by the sound of a guitar.

four spotlights shone brightly on the band and you quickly recognized the other two members you had yet to meet. dina on the bass and jesse on the drums. lisa was at the front, she moved confidently on stage, but your eyes inevitably fell on the girl behind her.

ellie was bobbing her head to the beat of the song, eyes glued to the floor. your mouth opened slightly at the sight, it was hypnotic seeing her play. you inhaled deeply, unable to tear your gaze away from her.

it wasn’t until the ending of the second song ellie first looked up. it was only a quick glance at the crowd, but her eyes coincidentally landed on you, making her do a quick double-take. her eyebrows rose, not expecting to find you so soon.

ellie unconsciously licked her lips as she took you in, trying her best not to mess up the song. she forced herself to look away from you and swept her gaze around the place, searching for anything else to focus on. it was in that moment when a girl waving frenetically at her from the side of the stage caught her eye. she was a regular, friday after friday she’d tried to make ellie look at her for more than five seconds but she never succeeded.

your eyes hadn’t left her, so you had been watching the interaction with immense curiosity. you tried to see who that other girl was, but you lost sight of her. when you looked back at ellie, you met her eyes again. there was an amused, teasing grin on her face, which made you laugh.

ellie played the rest of the set practically on autopilot, because she had her full attention on you. to her, you were the only person on the audience. she was performing for you, proudly showing off her skills and with her nerves long forgotten.

your experience wasn’t much different than hers. to you, ellie was the only member in the band worth watching. not that the others were bad or anything of the sort, but there was just something about ellie that made it hard for you to look away. she was too entrancing. the slight smirk she had while playing, the way her hands looked and the prolonged eye contact that she broke from time to time only to close her eyes and get lost in what she was playing.

your world went silent once they got off stage, even though the sound of the people talking around you was incredibly loud. with your head still buzzing, you decided it was best for you to go outside to get some air.

you didn’t mind how cold the night was. you stayed there for what it seemed to be an eternity, getting too caught up in your own mind to realize it had only been a couple of minutes.

your peace was interrupted with the sound of a notification. it was lisa, asking you where you were. outside, you replied and waited for her to come out.

you didn’t expect her showing up with the rest of the band.

lisa was the first to appear in front of you, the huge smile on her face as she went to hug you caused a smile of your own to form. dina and jesse were next, greeting you with nods of acknowledgment and friendly smiles.

“hey! what’d you think?”

“you guys were great!” the compliment left your lips just as your eyes settled on the person who had stayed behind. “hey, ellie.”

her head shot up at the mention of her name, seemingly surprised you had chosen to address her. “hi,” she said before quickly looking away.

before you had the chance to read into ellie’s awkward response, lisa spoke up, drifting your attention away from the guitarist.

“wanna come to our place? it’s movie night.”

the invitation was definitely tempting, but you weren’t sure if dina and jesse would be okay with it. even ellie could be opposed to it, judging by the way her eyes appeared tone avoiding you at all costs.

“uh, i mean, if you guys are okay with me being there—”

“of course we are, c’mon,” jesse immediately replied, placing an arm around your shoulders. “now, tell me all about how you friendzoned lisa…”

you chuckled lightly as you let him guide you to the car, briefly glancing over your shoulder hoping to meet ellie’s eyes. she didn’t look at you once, which made a feeling of uncertainty creep up onto you.

dina, jesse and lisa were the ones who talked the most during the ride. their lighthearted conversation helped to put yours’ and ellie’s racing minds at ease, at least for a bit.

you were still wondering why ellie was avoiding you so blatantly. you were so incredibly caught up in your own thoughts that you failed to notice the pair of green eyes that were watching you through the rear view mirror.

from her place on the copilot seat, ellie’s gaze flickered from you to lisa before looking back ahead.

she could easily ignore you, right?

once you arrived af the apartment, everyone quickly settled on the couches and browsed different streaming sites in search of a movie to watch and criticize.

“this looks shitty enough, what do you guys think?”

“i already watched that,” ellie spoke up for the first time since you were there.

“you have to much free time on your hands, el. i’m sure not even the actors in it watched it.”

the (already poorly done) plan of trying to act normal in your presence quickly fell apart when the sound of your laugh made her look at you and, oh, how she wished she hadn’t.

“i’ve watched it, too. it is pretty shitty, by the way,” you said, not noticing her stare.

ellie’s lips slightly parted as she looked at yours. the same feeling that had taken over her on stage came back to her and she found herself unable to tear her eyes away from you.

god, she was fucked.

“ellie, go bring some blankets and pillows,” lisa told her from the comfort of the biggest couch, waking her up from her trance.

“why don’t you go?”

“i’m too tired.”

“i can help, if you want,” you offered, your eyes meeting hers for the first time since your awkward interaction outside the bar.

ellie was going to tell you that you didn’t have to, but she accepted your help before her mind could catch up with her mouth. you silently followed her to her room. it was the biggest one, so, therefore, she had the biggest closet where they stored a lot of stuff, including extra blankets and pillows.

“here you go, this is the warmest one.” ellie handed you a blanket. “if lisa tries to take it from you, just tell her to fuck off.”

you chuckled, “got it.”

you took the liberty to look around as she searched for the rest of them. her room was definitely a glimpse of who ellie was, you instantly could tell she was an artsy person combined with a nerdy side. various sketches were laying on her desk, as well as books about astronomy and many, many books about dinosaurs. she had a pile of them stacked on her nightstand.

you walked towards them, leaving the blanket on top of her bed.

“you like dinosaurs?”

well, she couldn’t ignore you when you were alone. that would be just plain rude.

“everybody likes dinosaurs,” she replied, standing on her tiptoes to reach the last pillow. she didn’t know why she had put them so high.

“to this amount?” you picked one of the books and glanced through the pages. ‘The Great Dinosaur Debate’, it read on the cover.

ellie walked over to you, “is it my fault that they’re interesting?”

you looked up from the book, a playful grin on your lips, “you’re a nerd.”

“look who’s talking.”

“how would you know if i’m a nerd?”

“lisa talks.” and we have, too, actually. several times, she completed the sentence inwardly.

you rolled your eyes, “at least i don’t pretend to be cool on stage.”

“i’m not pretending, i am cool. the best of both worlds, right?” she gloated with an arrogant smile.

you left the book back on the pile and grabbed another one, “you know, i’ve always wanted to learn more about dinosaurs. maybe learn from someone who knows a lot would be nice,” you casually mentioned, hoping ellie would take the hint.

“oh, i have a lot of books i could lend you. these guys know everything.”

she didn’t.

you tilted your head to the side, unable to erase the smile off your face. it was difficult to believe the ellie standing in front you was the same ellie who was on stage an hour ago.

“sure, i’d love that.” with that, you grabbed the blanket ellie had given you and a bunch of pillows and went back to the living room. ellie followed you closely, throwing each of her friends a blanket.

they had finally decided on a movie, so once you and ellie were back they pressed play.

it was a cheap movie about the end of the world and the actors were almost as bad as the special effects. ellie would‘ve found it hilarious if she had been able to focus on it.

you were sitting on the floor with your back against the couch, wrapped up in the blanket she had given you. from where she was, ellie had a perfect view of your side-profile and, even though she felt like a creep, she couldn’t help her gaze from falling on you. especially when you laughed at her friend’s jokes or chimed in with one of your one.

it was practically torture.

once the movie ended, she felt like she could finally breathe again. dina turned the lights back on and, naturally, the first thing ellie did was look at you. it surprised her to find that you were already looking at her.

“i thought you had fallen asleep. you didn’t talk once.”

“i was just too caught up in the movie.” she averted her gaze from you to her shoes, knowing damn well she couldn’t tell you what the hell the movie was about.

unaware of her white lie, you nodded as you continued folding the blankets everyone had left on the couch. “want me to help you take these back to your room?”

“uh, yeah— yes. sure, let’s go,” ellie pathetically tripped over her words before leading the way.

you followed closely, your mouth curving into a small smile at her answer.

silence enveloped the two of you when you entered her bedroom for the second time. you handed her the neatly folded blankets and watched as she stored them.

“i didn’t get a chance to tell you how well you played tonight,” you spoke up, making her glance back at you for a second.

“you think?” she smiled before putting away the last blanket.

you hummed, “couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

ellie’s heart skipped a beat at the memory of your eyes following her every move. it was a miracle she had her back facing you and you didn’t witness the way an obvious flush spread across her face. “i take it i exceeded your expectations, then?”

“yeah, absolutely.”

sending you a coy smile, she clasped her hands together behind her back. “told you so,” she said as she walked past you.

you went back to the living room, where you found the rest of the group vivaciously talking about something that, apparently, didn’t concern you or ellie by the way they went quiet when they saw you two approach.

“guys? i think i’m gonna go. it’s getting pretty late—”

“ellie will drive you home,” jesse quickly said, making the aforementioned look up at him, disoriented.

“huh?”

“yeah?” you looked at her, lips pulling into a small smile.

who could say no to that face?

jesse threw ellie the car keys, mouthing ‘you’re welcome’ while you hugged dina and lisa goodbye. she frowned, silently inquiring what did he mean by that before setting her gaze on you.

“you ready?” ellie asked from the doorframe, waiting for you.

the cold breeze from the night hit the both of you the moment you stepped outside. given how late it was, the neighborhood was deadly quiet. the only thing interrupting the silence was the sound of your footsteps.

ellie held the passenger’s door open for you and gifted you a smile when you thanked her, slightly touching her arm. she let out a shaky breath before getting in the car herself.

after giving her your adress, she started driving in silence. her knuckles were turning white due to the tight grip she had on the wheel.

trying to be as discreet as possible, ellie glanced at you from the corner of her eyes but, once again, she met your gaze.

“what?” she couldn’t help but ask, a smile slowly forming on her lips.

you laughed softly, taking your eyes off her and looking down at your fidgeting hands. “oh, nothing.”

“right…” ellie set her eyes back on the road as she turned on the radio.

the quietness of the night got interrupted by the sound of ‘i want to know what love is’ by foreigner. both of you instantly looked at each other when you recognized the song and burst out laughing.

“woah, setting the mood?”

it surprised you when her sheepish tone changed into a slight teasing one, matching yours, “i don’t know, is it working?”

“maybe, maybe.”

the laughter gradually quieted down, letting the cheesy song’s chorus fill the silence. you shot ellie a quick glance, smiling to yourself as you listen to the lyrics.

“it is great song, though,” you commented.

“classic,” ellie added, eyes on the road.

“absolutely.”

you arrived at your place not much longer after that, since your building wasn’t that far away from hers. ellie turned off the engine and looked at you just as you turned your head to her.

“thank you for driving me and for giving me the warmest blanket. especially for the blanket.”

“you’re welcome.” the smile that ellie sent you back was a little too sweet for you to be able to function properly.

you forced yourself to look away from her, not wanting to look like a creep. unfortunately, you appeared to be destined to embarrass yourself that night one way or another. when you tried to unbuckle your seatbelt, it got stuck. you struggled in silence for a bit before giving up and looking at ellie, who had obviously noticed what was going on and was staring at you amusedly.

ellie leaned over, laughing softly at your helpless expression. “i told jesse a million times to sell this piece of crap and buy a new car,” she murmured, shaking her head.

she was close, way too close. your eyes automatically placed on her, as they always seemed to do ever since you met her. a small smile appeared on your lips when you heard her mutter a series of curses under her breath.

“there.” she returned to her seat, giving you the space you needed to regulate your breathing but, at the same time, the space you didn’t want. you happened to like having her close.

“thank you,” you grinned, but your smile faltered a little when you realized that you had to leave. maybe you were being overly dramatic, but you didn’t know when you were going to see her again, so you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that the night had come to an end. “see you around, ellie. thank you for driving me.”

“see you.” her voice was barely above a whisper.

ellie waited for you to be inside your building before leaving. you waved at her one last time, making a smile appear on her lips.

she didn’t put on music on the drive back home. it was just her alone with her thoughts. it was funny, they all seemed to revolve around you.

she went to sleep that night feeling guilty. it wasn’t right for her to be thinking about you that way. it didn’t matter it hadn’t worked out, lisa had liked you first. you were off-limits.

so the world kept spinning, time kept passing, life kept going, and ellie kept trying to forget about you. it wasn’t an easy task, since you had managed to infiltrate even her most random dreams. if that weren’t enough, you started hanging out with the group more often. jesse and dina had both taken a liking in you, too. she obviously couldn’t blame them.

ellie started making up excuses to miss said hangouts, which made her feel bad but she figured some time away from you would help dissolve whatever feelings were brewing inside of her.

she considered she was doing a pretty decent job, but that was until she ran into you on the street.

“ellie!”

you looked as radiant as always, maybe even more since your beauty seemed to be heightened by the fact she had tried so hard to forget about it. it hit her harder than she imagined.

“hey! uh, what’s up?” her reply came out in pathetic stutters, but you didn’t seem to mind.

“oh, nothing. just on my way home. doing some grocery shopping?” you pointed at the bags ellie was holding, to which she nodded.

“yeah, yeah. we were out of sugar n’ stuff.”

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever. you missed movie night at dina’s.”

“yeah, i know. i’ve been busy.”

the hectic sounds of the crowded street didn’t hide the fact that a deafening silence followed ellie’s short answer. you stood there, waiting for her to say something else, or even look you in the eyes.

“listen, um, i gotta go. i’m late for… something. see you around?”

stunned, you watched as she hurriedly walked past you. you tried to make sense of what had just happened, trying to recall if you could have possible done something to upset her, but nothing came to mind.

ellie turned around the corner cringing at her own behavior. she felt awful and spent the entire walk home trying to shake off the embarrassment.

lisa, who was already at the apartment, curiously observed her friend as she helped her put away everything she had bought.

“you okay, dude?” she asked her once she caught ellie staring a little too long at the wall.

“yeah, why?”

“are you sure? you’ve been acting weird lately.”

she sighed, “i’m good, i swear.”

“really? because a little bird told me you seemed off today.”

ellie shot her friend a glance, knowing that little bird was you. “oh. yeah, about that…”

what was she supposed to say? that she practically ran away from you because she couldn’t handle being around you without feeling fucking butterflies in her stomach and that it made her feel terribly guilty and the same time it scared the shit out of her?

“it’s nothing, lisa. i was just in a hurry—”

“do you have a problem with her or something?”

“what? no, of course not.”

“then why do you keep running away from her? you never hang out with us when she’s there.”

“i already told you it’s nothing.”

“we honestly thought you liked her. maybe we’ve been wrong this entire time?” she asked more to herself than to ellie.

ellie let out an awkward chuckle, “i do. she’s cool. why wouldn’t i like her?”

“no, me and the guys had this theory. we thought you liked her as in like her, as more than friends.”

ellie averted her gaze from lisa to the floor, “what?” she asked in a high-pitched voice. “no, i don’t.”

“oh my god, i knew it. you were so making eyes at each other when she came to see us play—”

“we weren’t—”

“—then, i told the others and they noticed the same thing. that’s why jesse told you to drive her home.”

suddenly, her friend’s behavior started making sense and she could not be more mortified. had she been that obvious?

“y’know, she asks me about you all the time, then she plays it off by asking about dina and jesse too, but i know she doesn’t really care about them.”

ellie’s stomach fluttered at the new information, but she shook her head. “that doesn’t mean anything.”

“is that why you’re acting weird? you like her but you don’t think she feels the same? cause let me tell you, she obviously does,” lisa told her, searching to meet her eyes. seeing ellie stayed silent, she spoke up again. “i don’t mind, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“lisa…”

“ellie…” she mocked her, unable to hide her amused smile. “so that’s what happened? you were worried i’d get mad if you liked her?”

ellie nodded, finally looking at her. “i felt bad.”

“aw, aren’t you a big ol’ softie underneath that permanent scowl?” lisa laughed, making ellie roll her eyes. “if i knew that was the thing holding you back i would’ve told you to go for it a long time ago. i just didn’t want to pressure you, i know you don’t like to talk about that stuff.”

“it’s not the only thing that’s holding me back,” ellie mumbled as she scratched the back of her neck, gaze cast downward.

“ellie she likes you, i mean it. when we were on stage she didn’t look at the rest of us once. not even when i fell, she probably didn’t even notice.”

“you fell?”

“exactly. you two were in your own little world. it’s cute, actually. so, if you’re really interested, ask her out.”

it was painfully obvious how interested ellie was but, even with lisa’s blessing and words of reassurance, she wasn’t entirely convinced you liked her back. there was the possibility you were too nice, that’s all. so, she decided to do something she never thought she’d do.

ellie left it to the hands of fate.

no matter the outcome, the universe would send some kind of signal if she should ask you out. what she didn’t expect, was that the universe would act so quickly.

only two days passed before ellie saw you again.

for some reason, she had decided to walk home after band practice. she was too caught up in her own world to notice anything happening around her, but the sound of a familiar voice snapped her back to reality.

you were talking to a dog that seemed to be attentively listening as if he understood what you were saying. “you can’t pee on strangers. or anyone, for that matter.”

a short, soft laugh escaped her lips at the situation. ellie put her hands in her pockets, a wave of nerves suddenly washing over her at hesitation grew within her. letting out a small sigh, she gathered all her courage and straightened her back. ellie began approaching you with a determined look on her face.

“hey.”

your head shot up, the corners of your lips tugging up in a smile as soon as you saw who it was. “ellie, hi!”

the dog beside you immediately jumped at her, attacking her with several kisses as his tail moved at an impossibly fast speed. ellie chuckled as she kneeled down to pet him.

“oh, i’m sorry!”

“it’s okay, i don’t mind.”

“he must really like you. he doesn’t let strangers pet him.”

“yeah?” ellie smiled up at you before returning her gaze to the dog in front of her.

eh, not really. he’s actually the friendliest dog to ever grace the earth but you’re pretty and you make me nervous. “yeah,” you grinned.

“what’s his name?”

“chip. he’s my niece’s, actually. i’m just talking him for a walk while she’s at school,” you explained, trying not to look to affected by her presence. it was hard.

ellie hummed, deep in thought. suddenly, she looked up at you again, “want some company?”

her question took you by surprise, especially after your last encounter. “uh, yes, i’d like that.”

the two of you began walking at a slow pace, sometimes stopping to wait for chip who got distracted by something that caught his attention. ellie asked how your day was going, and once you were done telling her you asked how hers was. it was a calm conversation, the total opposite of how you two were feeling inside.

“i wanted to apologize for leaving so quick the other day.”

“oh, you don’t have to. it’s fine, really.”

“no, it’s not. i’m sorry, it’s just— um, have you talked to lisa?”

you glanced at her, “not recently, why? did something happen?”

“no, no. i was just wondering.”

“you were wondering because…?”

ellie chuckled awkwardly, realizing what she had gotten herself into. she could play dumb and avoid the conversation, but that would be not listening to the universe and that would be a very dumb thing to do, wouldn’t it?

“you’re just friends, right?”

you gave her another quick side-eyed glance, “yes, why?”

“you don’t like her that way and she doesn’t like you that way either, right?”

you let out a short laugh, “yes, ellie. our date wasn’t what we expected so we decided to just stay friends. i already told you that.”

“then let me show you how it’s done.”

you whipped your head around and stared at her as your surprised expression began to morph into a giddy grin. “what?”

“let me take you on a proper date. are you free tomorrow?”

“really?”

“if— if you want, of course.”

in that moment, ellie knew she had made the right choice and internally thanked the universe for pushing her to do so. the way your face lit up at her words was priceless, and it was also a sign that you were as interested in her as she was in you.

you gleefully accepted her request with a warm smile, one that almost knocked the air out of ellie. she promised to text you so she could tell you the details, and she stuck to her word because once you arrived home there was a message from her waiting for you.

you began texting right away. more precisely, you sent hundreds of voicenotes throughout the day and she happily listened to them, replying with an equal amount of texts and lame reaction pictures (which you loved).

“you’re okay with this, right?” ellie asked lisa for the hundredth time as she was about to leave for your date.

her friend, who was sitting comfortably on their couch, rolled her eyes for the hundredth time, too. “ellie, i swear to god if you ask me again—”

“alright! alright.”

“have fun, dork.”

“yeah, yeah,” she muttered as she grabbed the keys to jesse’s car, who had kindly let her borrow it for the date. “don’t wait up, i know how to keep a girl entertained.”

“fuck you!” ellie heard lisa say before she closed the door behind her. she went snickering to herself the whole way to the car, but soon her cockiness evaporated and, instead, a feeling of uncertainty replaced it.

she began second guessing every decision she made the closer she got to your house. was her outfit nice? was her hair okay? was the bouquet of flowers too much? was the date idea she had planned the most nerdy thing ever thought? the answer to that last question was probably, but there was no time to change it, she was already waiting for you outside.

she shuffled her feet as she moved from side to side, her grip on the stems of the flowers tightening. once she heard someone coming, her head shot up. her lips instantly curved into a smile when she saw you. you had the biggest grin on your face as you approached her. ellie’s smile widened even more when she noticed what you had on your hands.

flowers.

“we’re too cheesy, aren’t we?” you scrunched up your nose, slightly tilting your head to the side as ellie laughed. you proceeded to exchange bouquets, your fingers briefly brushing hers. “these are beautiful, thank you.” the compliment left your lips in a tone so sweet it had ellie melting. “alright, should we go?”

“you’re not gonna leave them to put them in water or something?”

“that’s for when i get back. i wanna show them off first. unless the super secret date location isn’t flower-friendly?”

“oh, no, you can take them. it’ll be fine.”

ellie’s chosen date destination was the museum. it was nerdy but, fortunately for her, you were thrilled once you found out. you kept telling her how excited you were while you waited in line, swinging the flowers around as you gesticulated.

there was a small smile on her lips as she attentively listened to you talk about your first experience in a museum and how you’ve always wanted to go to one again, but never got around to it.

it was strange to think about when ellie first saw you in a picture. you caught her attention right away. now, you were in front of her, gifting her your presence and your kind smiles.

everything was going great, but the constant reminder that she wasn’t being completely honest with you caused a persistent feeling of guilt to set on the pit of her stomach.

“i have to tell you something,” ellie said after a moment of silence.

your eyebrows instantly scrunched together at her tone. “everything okay?”

“you said lisa seemed different in person than through text. she probably knew nothing about the movies and characters she said to like when you talked about it on your date, right? well, that’s because it was actually me behind those texts. just when those topics came out, you know, it wasn’t me always. so, basically, i feel really bad about not telling you sooner. you probably think this is weird, right?” ellie let out an awkward chuckle after her (way too long) rambling.

you stared at her in silence, processsing the great amount of information she had given you in just five seconds. suddenly, you laughed.

“it really threw me off when lisa said she loved anakin and legolas’ friendship. then i saw your room. i knew something was fishy, though i never would’ve have guessed i actually talked to you and you weren’t just telling her what to say.”

ellie hid her face behind her hands, laughing at lisa’s huge mistake. “i can’t believe she got aragorn and anakin mixed up.”

you chuckled, “yeah, and that wasn’t the worst one.”

“oh my god,” she groaned. “wait, so, you knew?”

“kind of. i didn’t ask lisa about it because i didn’t want her to be embarrassed or anything, so i just assumed something like that had happened.”

“and you’re not mad?”

“i wouldn’t be here if that were the case, but thank you for telling me,” you said, smiling sweetly at her and reaching for her hand to give her a quick little squeeze. “c’mon, we’re holding the line.”

much to ellie’s dismay, your hand slipped away from hers. she couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed at how brief the contact had been. still, having told you the whole truth, ellie was practically floating behind you.

“by the way, i wanted to tell you something, too,” you started, making her look into your eyes. “going on dates with two different people in such a short time is not like me, y’know? especially if those people are friends.”

“okay…”

“i just don’t want you to get the wrong idea of me.”

“what, that you’re homie hopper?”

“ellie!” you laughed in disbelief.

“i’m kidding,” she playfully rolled her eyes. you watched as her teasing smirk turned into a soft smile.

ellie had never been an affectionate person. in fact, having someone constantly touching her wasn’t something she craved and seeing couples that were too into public displays of affection made her sick. then, she met you.

standing so close to you was torture. every fiber of her being screamed to get closer and, for the first time, she initiated contact. seeing you two were next in line, she took that opportunity to grab your hand and lead you into the museum. she didn’t turn around to see your reaction, but she didn’t have to. you squeezed her hand and intertwined your fingers, indicating that you wouldn’t let go.

you walked side by side at an unhurried pace, taking the time to soak in everything you saw. the rest of the world could have disappeared and neither of you would have cared. in that moment, all that existed were each other and the hushed conversations you shared. the both of you were so caught up in your own little bubble that often forgot there were people around and you had to apologize every time you laughed a little too loud.

ellie knew a lot about everything, you were in complete awe of her. you were certain you could listen to her tell you a million random facts and never get tired of it. the best part was when you finally reached the section where everything dinosaur-related was displayed.

“you said you wanted to learn about them, didn’t you?” she asked with a playful smirk. “you still have time to want to take it back, because i will not be able to shut up once i start.”

you shook your head, smiling fondly at her. “i will listen to every word.”

and you did. sometimes you asked her questions, leading her to talk even more than she intended. it worried her that you could get annoyed, but she could see the genuine interest in your eyes whenever she looked at you.

time flew by much faster than you would’ve wanted. many conversations were shared throughout the whole date. some were meaningful and some weren’t, but each and every one of them would stay engraved in each other’s memories.

you would always remember ellie’s biggest regret, her favorite candy, the first time she fell in love, the age she learned how to ride a bike and how much she hated reality shows.

she would always remember the first time someone broke your heart, that you preferred tea over coffee, your favorite cartoon growing up and your irrational fear of mannequins.

both of you would always remember the comfortable silences you shared during the art section and the way both of you giggled whenever you caught each other’s eyes.

now, standing outside of your building under a starry sky, you already felt nostalgic about a night that wasn’t even technically over yet.

“thank you for today. it totally exceeded my expectations, and they were really, really high, by the way.”

“yeah?” ellie smiled widely before biting down her bottom lip.

“yeah.” you nod, grinning. “i had a lot of fun.”

“me too.”

you kept staring at each other, unable to erase the dumb smiles off your lips.

“did i score a second date?”

“you even scored a third one.”

ellie laughed at your answer, momentarily looking down at her shoes. when she met your gaze again, she felt time slowing as well as her breath. you were the one who took the first step, quite literally, standing closer to her whilst she seemed to be completely still.

your eyes met for a brief moment before you finally closed the gap between you and enveloped you two on a very eagerly awaited kiss. the contact made ellie come back to her senses and she reacted almost instantly, making you smile against her.

you had been waiting for that moment to come since beginning of the night and, yet, you still weren’t ready for the way it made you feel. it was overwhelming, in the best way possible.

“i’d invite you over but, unfortunately for you, i’m a lady,” you murmured as your fingers intertwined on the back of her head, the bouquet of flowers hanging upside down on her back.

ellie grinned against your lips before giving you one final kiss. “goodnight.”

you had said your goodbyes. the next step was for ellie to leave, but she found herself glued to the floor. your soft smile quickly became a teasing smirk when you realized she had no intention to move.

“did you forget how to walk?”

her next move pleasantly surprised you. she raised one of her hands to the back of your neck and pulled gently to draw you into another kiss. it felt so natural, so right.

“i think it’s time for our second date,” she mumbled, smiling dazedly.

“now?”

she was still so close.

“please.”

you weren’t sure how it was possible for you to hear her whispering voice over the loud beating of your heart.

“let’s just— let’s drive around and see where we end up.”

you grinned, immediately nodding at her proposal.

who could say no to that face?

[y-rhywbeth2]

Ketheric continues to be the member of the Chosen I struggle to get a grip on. Like the other three I can tell you the details of why (I think) they grew up to monsters:

Long post.

-

Let's start with Gortash: spent his childhood being told he was a selfish monster for his thoughts - apparently from birth - for the way he perceived the world, for *checks notes* wanting his parents attention as an undeveloped human being that relies on its parents to survive and thrive.

Then his parents send him to hell as part of a deal. Because that's where monsters go isn't it? They go to hell to suffer eternal damnation because they were monsters in life.

So you grow up in one of the literal cesspits of the universe, where the only people you meet are the literal scum of the universe, or those you're going to learn to see as weak fools who had to rely on others - and were ultimately willing to commit atrocities themselves - who were taken advantage of by the scum of the universe. You get to the Hells by committing atrocities, either because you want something so badly you'll fuck somebody over for it (out of greed, or because you couldn't fix it yourself (weak)) or because you did them of your own volition. And curiously, some of these people had their price tags wrapped in such subtle terms they don't even realise they did anything wrong! Lesson learned; anyone will willingly be a monster if you make the evil sound nice. Every single devil you meet has had the humanity flayed from their soul, and they got to where they are in their existences by fomenting (and committing) hate and rape and murder and everything evil under the sun as a regular Monday morning in the ultimate goal to make the universe an evil place. Devils are also 'self made men', everybody started from nothing as a lemure and clawed their way to where they are now. Every social interaction in the Hells is manipulation and abuse. Everyone there hurts everyone.

But you do have one example of a good person! There's Hope! Lovely lady, kind and sweet... Trapped in hell being abused forever going insane because of it because your ambitious sister fucked you over. That's where trust and love being a good person gets you.

And that was his entire social life. That was the people he had to look to for examples. All his early experiences were limited to a sample of the absolute worst it has to offer, and he has a very skewed view of the universe.

And the fact that he's apparently so damn good at sex a lady gave him a ring worth everything she owns after growing up around a pleasure devil whose role is harming and corrupting people with sex and has built in charm person at etc is not ringing alarm bells(!) I'm not side-eyeing the boudoir at all.

I wonder why having a child/teen spend their formative years in the evil factory literally designed to spit out monsters... spat out a monster? Kudos to Karlach, though: just how many layers of defence mechanisms has she got in her brain?

Gortash's thought processes are 50% through the lens of engineering and 50% through the lens of a devil's perspective to me. People will sell out others for their own gain, because they're too weak to do it themselves or because they're bastards. If you don't get with the programme you're the victim. You only get ahead by being ruthless. Everybody is untrustworthy, and relying on them will get you betrayed. The world is divided into the weak and the ruthlessly strong who take what they want. Yes, he's a monster. And so are his parents. And so is everyone. And then Bane saw this perfect example of his way of thinking and said 'that one.'

-

Orin: obviously we've got grooming. The fact that her formative memories include her mother trying to murder her, and the fact that she feels like the only person who has ever cared about her or supported her is her grandfather. Who is implied to have been raping her, or intending to. All she's permitted is to have her brain poisoned by her faith, which her life revolves around, and then her kin 'does it all wrong' and inherits everything she's been groomed to believe is hers. But no, 'they're not wrong,' says everybody around her 'you are!'

She's a Bhaalspawn, so her relationships with her kin are "kill or be killed," as Helena proved. You will please father by slaughtering your siblings, or you will die - or worse. You must be and stay favoured by Bhaal above all the others to be truly safe ("safe"), and Durge outranking her is a threat to her existence. Actually Durge existing is a threat to her well-being. She has no way to live a life outside the cult, never has and never will. Her life is insanely lonely and mostly consists of paranoia.

But the overlaying theme here is that she's a changeling. She's mirrorkin with no unique physical identity of her own, she can only reflect those of others. To be dnd canon accurate: she has no real facial features, no pigmentation. She's not permitted an identity of her own, and was punished for trying. She's a mirror born and raised to reflect the glory of Bhaal, the glory of her failed grandfather, the rise of Bhaal's favourite child. Never her own. Gee, I wonder why she literally wears people's skins.

Denied the ability to do anything but live according to what she's told, she does her best to live up to it because to fail is to become her parents and the countless aunts and uncles currently enjoying their damnation in the Throne of Blood. And then she's told she's doing it wrong. By everybody. She's a 'rabid dog'. She, despite having doctrine poured into her ears and probably carved into her flesh her entire life 'doesn't understand Bhaal.' And everybody is insanely patronising about it! You're never allowed to be anything but what we tell you to be, but you're still not good enough! Which is death. The Temple of Bhaal needs murder feminism.

-

The Dark Urge is my favourite little nightmare, and I've talked about them at length: much of Orin's trauma also applies to them, although where she's a mirror made to reflect the egos of others, Durge is only allowed one identity: Bhaal's. Where Orin can never seem to reach the standards forced on her, Durge is never allowed to fail to meet them, or else. Every outside connection they ever had was brutally sabotaged, and they've had 'you're a monster and only I (your abusive Father) can love you' drilled into their mind. They hate themself. We got the threat of sexual exploitation (assuming it didn't happen), there's a subtle undercurrent of incest to some interactions. The prayer for forgiveness kind of sums it all up: 'I'm sorry for forming an emotional connection that isn't blind love for you father, but don't fret, I'll destroy it with my own hands just like everything else and then finally get to kill myself just like I've always wanted.'

-

But Ketheric? Like villains don't need tragic backstories to be terrible people, but it does make them more interesting.

OK, so your bio family is fucked up and I definitely get the impression that they sucked (Malus is giving me vibes that say he'd have been a villain anyway, and might've been secretly Sharran to start with; Gerringothe seems to be drowning whatever her issues are in gold), and then the loving family you made for yourself broke: your wife died, and your daughter died, sure. But plenty of people on Toril probably have similar if not the same stories and didn't go evil overlord! Why are you doing this? What is informing these decisions? Why does your existence hinge so much on your dead daughter that your son is basically named after her and you seem to hate him for existing and not being her? Does Shar have something to do with it? Has Ketheric just carved out so much memory and emotion, so much of his own identity, that all that's left is the grief and the hunger for the pain to stop but, as per Shar's intent, it keeps coming back, with less and less positive memories to soften the pain. A wound that festers and never heals. Is the obsession with Isobel because she's the icon of everything that was good in his life, and her loss was the moment everything good was gone? Was he a rational man who turned to Shar to stop the pain in a moment of understandable grief and rage at her sister, and then was trapped in a cycle that destroyed everything that was good in that man until we get the General?

Just guess working my way through his entire backstory...

[janetsboys]

gally x female reader pleaseeee anything

here you go baby

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❀ characters: gally x fem!reader

❀ A/N: i’m so sorry for the amount of time it took me to post this

❀ summary: y/n has been in the Glade for three months, she’s a Builder, but she doesn’t get why her boss hates her.

❀ warnings: can’t think of any

english is not my first language<3

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❀ ❀ ❀

“Why do you even care so much about what this jerk thinks about you?” Newt asks you as you’re both sat under a tree during your work break.

“I don’t know, we spend our days together and I just, I just wanted him to like me but every single thing i do makes him angry!” you say agitating your hands in incomprehension.

“He hates everyone, pretends he likes his friends, and he doesn’t like you because you get attention for being the only girl in here. He knows everyone likes you.” Newt was your best friend and always brutally honest with you, which was why you loved him so much.

You were looking at the grass under the “sun”light when a tall shadow came up to you and Newt. “Hey, it’s ten minutes break not five hours so get your ass back to the cabin.”

Gally was looking down on you, talking to you with a severe tone as usual. You in fact didn’t know why you wanted him to like you. He’s your boss and you spend all your days with him, you thought maybe you could see something behind his cold personality because weirdly, he didn’t intimidate you. Maybe that’s why he didn’t like you.

You were fixing a fence for the Slicers to keep the livestock in the Glade when you heard Gally saying there was a bonfire tonight. You thought that would be the perfect occasion to try to make friends with him. Though you didn’t want to chase him down and beg for friendship, it was your last try.

When the night started and you joined the gladers at their little celebration for being alive another day (that’s what you guessed), you didn’t know everyone perfectly well yet. You liked Zart because he was really nice to you, you liked Ben and Minho cause they were unintentionally funny to you, and Newt was your favorite of course.

You looked around to find someone you know because you didn’t want to be in the middle of all the boys by yourself and also, you don’t like all the attention being on you (— which was unfortunate since the attention was always on you).

Minho waved at you with a straight face because he saves his smiles for rare occasions. You felt relieved as you walked to him sitting alone but you also felt a huge pressure as if someone was looking at you.

“Hey, how is this bonfire going so far for you?” Minho kindly asked giving you a cup of a weird drink, “Well, i like parties, i think i do, at least. I’d like to know everyone here but apparently, not everybody wants me here.” you respond taking a sip before making a face.

“Gally again?” Minho said exhaling, “I know i shouldn’t care but it makes me upset.” you say sitting next to him, sighing.

“Don’t worry, it’ll come. He’ll end up liking you just like we all do because, there’s absolutely no reason to hate you.” he kindly answers with a little smile. Your best friends really treated you well for the past three months because, even though they couldn’t understand how it was to be a girl in a world of boys, they knew how hard it was for them when they arrived here. They could only imagine it was harder for you.

“Thank you.” you say with a tiny smile before resting your head on his shoulder. You knew Minho wasn’t really the one to say kind words to everybody. Or the one to accept a head on the shoulder easily, but he let you.

“Hey Newt.” you saw him walking up to you with a huge cup, “Do you guys want to taste THIS?” he said laughing like he knew something you didn’t. “That thing has to hold a deadly virus.” Minho said before you added “No thank you, i’d rather stay alive.” slightly giggling.

Newt then turned around to look at everybody then told you; “The hell is he staring at?”, “Who?” you answered a bit concerned. “Gally.” Newt said laughing again, “Maybe he doesn’t hate you that much after all.”

“You know what? I’m gonna talk to him and we’ll see if tomorrow he still hates me.” you reposted getting up to go there. “He doesn’t hate you!” you hear Newt add as you walk away. Always the devils advocate, always staying positive for some reason.

You felt a little stressed out, your hands were slightly shaking as you got closer to him while he was focused on laughing with his friends and drinking, you started regretting but you were too far into your mistake to go back. Of course, the alcohol in your blood made you braver which was good in this situation.

You sat next to him as if it was totally normal. “Hey, Gally, this drink is really good. I heard the recipe was a secret.” you boldly told him putting hair behind you ear, trying to look confident.

“Thanks. What are you doing here? Your boyfriend and your lil’ best friend must miss you already.” He says loudly as all his Builder friends laugh (— they laughed like that was the funniest thing ever, i think they laugh at everything Gally says).

“I don’t have a boyfriend, i have good friends though. And some guys seem to dislike me for unknown reasons, they miss out on a lot of fun.” you smile, looking really friendly and nice. You’re not trying to seem patronizing or something. That would only make him despise you.

“So, Gally, you want us to go get another drink?” he stares at you for a while before getting up to follow you. Your legs shake from stress as he walks besides you.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything about you?” you break the short silence. “There’s nothing to say.” he coldly answered. “Oh come on, you like building and fighting, what else do you like?” “Having a purpose. And a home. I guess.” he finally opens up a little bit more to you. You feel a small smile growing on your face, breaking the ice.

“Great, you know what, I like that too. We have a common point, see?” he stops walking when you finish talking.

“You know, (y/n), i didn’t like all the changes you brought with you. Everything was new when you arrived in that box.” he says looking at you. “And you hate change, i get it. I’m sorry.” you say smiling again. You finally started to understand what kind of guy he was, he needed stability, and control.

“It’s not your fault, we made those adjustments for you and you turned out to be a Builder. I think it is- nice to have you with us.” wow, Gally was complementing you? That made you blush for a reason you ignored. You then started walking again towards the drinks. “I’m glad to work with you guys too. It’s tough for me but i try to stay positive and fit in, you know?” you confess to your new friend.

Maybe his drink convinced him you weren’t that annoying after all. He handed you a glass of whatever that was and you walked back to the others to sit down with them.

You relaxed a little bit and started making jokes, your coworkers were really dumb (most of them) but pretty funny and nice even though they were kind of onerous sometimes — as you are a girl and of course it means there are a lot of inappropriate jokes they’re allowed to make.

You knew Alby made it very clear no one was allowed to touch you, or go too far, so you felt safe with them. You knew teenagers like them wouldn’t hurt you, even the dumbest ones.

Surprisingly, you started laughing with Gally, he was actually chill in parties, unlike the bossy guy you knew at work and also in the glade in general. Maybe those nights were important to him because it was a traditional thing, you were staring at him as he told a story about Zart, that you never heard before.

You didn’t know why exactly but you needed to analyze his face, you liked the way his eyes moved and the way he smiled telling that anecdote. You bursted out laughing at the exact same time the other Builders did, he was a good storyteller.

When everybody started separately talking, you looked at Gally and spoke, pretty loudly so he could hear you “You’re a good storyteller” you smiled, he leaned over a bit, to hear you “What?” he asked smiling, you put your hand on his arm and got closer to his ear, you were more confident, you felt like you usually do when you’re with Next and Minho. “I said you’re a good storyteller” you chuckled slightly.

He pulled away and looked at you, he was smiling way more now that you guys had talked. Now that you knew he didn’t exactly hate you. “Really?” you nodded, and he stood up and you tilted your head slightly.

He held his hand out, you took his hand without hesitation and walked with him.

You walked in the Glade without really knowing where you wanted to go, you chuckled as you talked about the story he told.

“Did he really wake up with those drawings on his face?” “He really did, and he stayed like that the whole day.” he laughed.

You sat down together at the end of a tree, you were both a bit tired but you still wanted to talk.

“You’ve been here three years, right?” you say looking at the trees around you. The “moon”light made everything look peaceful in the Glade.

Gally nodded “Three years.” he said staring at a random tree. You looked at him “Do you think they’ll find a way out?” you ask, you still had the innocence of being here for three months, because you had no idea how it felt for them. This was the only home he’d ever known.

He shrugged, “I don’t think anything, I wait.” you looked down, you wondered everyday why you were all here, why you were the only girl, why didn’t you remember your life.

“Do you think we like, knew each other out of the Glade? In our other lives, i mean.” you look back at the trees, not noticing he had turned his head to look at you. “You think we were friends or something?” he asked then continued, “maybe we were like- high school enemies.”

You giggled and looked at him “I’m sorry but you must’ve been a bully.” he nodded chuckling “Alright alright i’ll give you that one. You must’ve been the girl that talked back to teachers but still had good grades.” you laughed at his statement, you had thought so many times about what your life could’ve been like outside the Glade.

Somehow, you always thought you used to know Gally. “I’m almost sure I knew you.” you say, looking in front of you, your two bodies sitting pretty close to each other. He turned his head to look at you. “Is that why you wanted to be my friend here?” he wondered, he’d always been curious about you, he just never admitted it.

You nodded then answered “I think…Maybe i was looking for comfort and landmarks. I thought maybe what i felt towards you was that research of something. Because i couldn’t let go of the past even if i didn’t remember anything.”

He was listening closely to every word you said, you didn’t think he’d want to understand you and genuinely listen. He nodded “So, i was like, a magnet and you were metal?” he said sounding surprisingly soft and warm.

You giggled slightly looking at him “Yeah, that’s it. That’s why i didn’t want you to hate me.” you smiled. He shook his head “I never hated you, i was just, scared, i guess.” you could hear the slight shake in his voice, because you paid so much attention to details.

You heard him say i guess and he was trying to make his fear seem like nothing, but it mattered to you. “I think, you had every right to be scared.” you said with a gentle tone, nodding your head slightly.

You kind of just, looked into each other’s eyes for a while, it was like there was some sort of connection between you, you felt seen. The real you, the one you didn’t even remember.

He leaned towards you, you stopped thinking, you stopped hearing the loud thoughts and worries in your mind, he carefully placed his huge hand on your face, you closed your eyes as he tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips against you.

That was both of y’all’s first kiss ever, which felt weird, you gently took his hand into yours as he kissed you. You quickly both heard Clint screaming as he was looking for you guys.

You both pulled away and bursted out laughing, you had no idea what all that was, but it was surely a new connection.

.:｡✿*ﾟ‘ﾟ･✿.｡.:* *.:｡✿*ﾟ’ﾟ･✿.｡.:* *.:｡✿*ﾟ¨ﾟ✎･ ✿.｡.:* *.:｡

thank you for reading me🩵

[hockeygossipunhinged]

i think that persons “7 minutes in heaven” comment was cause girls who’ve hooked up with him have said he didn’t last long i believe theirs a tik tok of some podcast guys talking about one of their girlfriends hooking up with him around 2019 saying he only chatted with her through snapchat and when doing the deed made her go to a hotel room and apparently only lasted a couple minutes

but to everyone whose been asking how he is in bed i personally don’t know(im a lesbian) but im friends with a lot of your typical sorority girls and this is what i’ve heard through the grape vine about him and this is all allegedly

- used to be your typical fuck boy (empty promises, says sweet things that he doesn’t mean) one of those kinda boys but he did it to the wrong girl who’s mom knew his mom and ellen had a serious talking to him about his actions

- is really into boobs like really into them

-likes the chase he likes girls who want nothing to do with him but at the same time loves girls who are obsessed with him you’re typical puck bunny

-apparently had a threesome with another hockey player with a blonde who’s married to some basketball player now

-has a problem with liking other girls posts apparently a girl he was hooking up with threw a drink at him due to him liking a girls post that she doesn’t like but i don’t really believe that cause i feel like we’d have seen a video of it already

-when flirting with a girl he’ll make little sexual jokes to make them life as we saw in his “motivation speech” to the beach volleyball girls

-is scarily charming

-this one i don’t really believe because how could a brother do this to their siblings but i’ve heard it from separate people is sometimes he’ll flirt with the girls his brothers are into or girls that are into his siblings and it has cause several arguments and caused luke to be insecure when it comes to girls and kinda shut off towards them in fear they’ll just leave him for his brother

-apparently doesn’t last long in bed but is very cocky when it comes to all the hot girls he’s had in bed

-this i heard from a guy is that he got really drunk and was showing his list of girls he’s slept with and apparently it had almost 50 names on it(but the guy who told me has a problem with over exaggerating his stories so could have been lower)

-he’s one of those drunks who say has no filter and just wanders around and then gets lost i saw what i believe matt beniers chasing after him on the street and almost took a dog out tryna catch up to him

-i’ve heard that quinn’s his favorite and try’s not to do anything to piss him off when he dose he’s always the first to apologize and hates when he’s mad at him but according to people it’s very easy to piss quinn off

-isn’t good when it comes to kissing (but i’ve kissed this girl before and she wasn’t either💀) but according to her it wasn’t enough need like she didn’t feel any butterflies when he was pressing up against her and didn’t give enough time of regular kissing before sticking his tongue in her mouth

-as his size i heard 4,5,and 6 inches so average i assume

This is all allegedly so jack super fans don’t get mad all of these are rumors please don’t take them seriously

First off I want to apologize to that one anon who sent the first message about the 7 minutes in heaven. I’m sorry that I read your message the wrong way I didn’t know what you were talking about.

Also I’ve heard a lot about this. I think most of it is true. I also know through a friend that he was heavily flirting with her and she had a big butt but small boobs like acups 😂 and he was literally obsessed. He was drunk and kept grabbing her butt apparently. Really funny.

Never heard of the Quinn/luke stuff before. I do know Luke’s quiet and reserved more than Jack and Quinn.

Honestly I think the hotel thjng is true just bc even though the guy was mad Jack got the girl he was interested in. Some parts of the story seemed real like only having the girl there for a while.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I was so impressed with your toe-to-toe comment on the French philosophy anon. So happy to have found you, omg! I heard Taylor called her ttpd set as the "female rage musical." I take it she knows the impact of the song Labour by Paris Paloma which has been dubbed as the female rage anthem. So naturally, here is the 34 year old culture vulture, can't-have-any-ideas-of-her-own that is Taylor Swift hopping there wanting to get the attention away from it when that song is quite phenomenal. One song compared to her 31 diss tracks that's nothing to me, at least, but the excessive sentimentality of an infantile woman in her 30s. It's gross the confessions she's put on that album. And even her own fans are comparing her to Olivia Rodrigo. That's she's copying everything about her - song, outfits, the "female rage" theme just to mock her. Somehow, Swift thinks it would do her a world of good. People are catching on to her antics which are absolutely disgusting, btw. I'm hoping one day you write about all these completely ridiculous gross things she's done using her own lyrics. You know what I mean? I hope someone write about her nasty lyrics and that it completely destroys her.

Thank you ha, I'm glad you found something meaningful in that post. I will not lie, that Anon actually hurt my feelings for a second (I got over it by writing my response), but I was upset at being so misunderstood. I'm not out here levying unreasonable criticism at Taylor Swift. All will be based on reality, or interpretation of her own lyrics.  I’m defs out to get her though- in the most legitimate way possible- and maybe someday I will publish for real on her. I have a couple of criticisms that I will not be putting on my blog- because I want to say it on a bigger platform. : )  

I do see a lot of harmful things in her music that I have been resisting the urge to write about for YEARS! Even back in 2009, listening to "Love Story" I remember thinking to myself, oh this is nothing like what Shakespeare meant and it's also a weird appeal to the patriarchy through the "I talked to your Dad/ Go Pick out a white dress." It's so clear that she's just reduplicating mainstream attitudes on romantic relationships by using Christian Conservative social standards of needing the father's permission to ask the girl's hand in marriage. She obviously wanted to attract the Christian- Conservative fan- base with that song, and that's exactly what happened. Her marketing is tied to the phrases she places inside her songs in a way that is extremely calculating. She, Afterall, learned from the best at attracting mainstream, Christian, conservative fans, Toby Keith (hate that fascist, white nationalist freak). (WHoops, that was mean- oh well, he’s dead anyway). (and if he wanted me to be nice- he shouldn't have been a fascist).  

It's so obvious, and I really figured everyone else was also aware of the ways in which Swift interpolates patriarchal standards in her music. I have many more examples- I could write a whole essay on it.  

Apparently, everyone thought she was a feminist? Bro, she became a "feminist" if only to evade criticism and capitalize on mainstream pop-feminist trends. She's not a real feminist. Her use of “feminism” to evade critique ties directly into her other marketing strategy of telling the world “I’m so innocent and young” all the time. 

Also, her co-opting of the phrase Female Rage has made me angry, exceptionally angry. I saw that she's trying to trademark the phrase. I am incensed. I will post about it soon. 

I wish Swift would stop co-opting legitimate terms and pulling only the most shallow- self-centered conception of the term out to use in her mediocre music. She’s like if Pinterest was a person- and I’m tired of it.  

Paris Paloma’s “Labour” is amazing, because guess what- it actually speaks about the experience of women under patriarchal standards in a way that respects the seriousness of the topic. I absolutely believe that Swift saw how viral that song went and decided she needed to cash in on that too.  

And she is totally copying Olivia Rodrigo. Can you imagine being 34 and trying to act 20? I would die of embarrassment. But it's so obvious that it's getting weird.

I have much more to say on this topic- sincerely I could write a book on the conceptual point of “Female Rage” in media. I have thousands of examples, and I’ve been studying this stuff for years. I will, however, ramble on no longer. Thank you for your kind words- and I hope you enjoy my upcoming writings.

[maxphilippa]

Nickel's sense of guilt and fear of change. [Character/II S3 Episode 14 Analysis, part 1/?]

Today, the longest episode of Invitational has dropped, and I have many thoughts of it as well. Might do more posts analyzing the events that ocurred as of now in canon, but I would like to talk about the heaviest part in the lore and how most people are not getting it completely (in my opinion), and that being: Nickel's current point of view of Balloon and his relationship with Suitcase and BB.

We all know that Nickel's actions hurted the Grand alliance, but what happened in the episode is that they showed how apparently, Nickel doesn't get exactly that things were completely fucked up.

In the episode, he mainly focuses on the good memories he had with BB and Suitcase, and doesn't even seem to hate Suitcase either, unlike what most people thought (me included to an extent, though I did see him being hurt mostly with their relationship and what happened in s2), but.

Nickel doesn't realize that he actually fucked up with them a lot, and that's the main issue.

Like, sure. He knows that stuff were messy at points but that's all he says. He mainly focuses on the good moments he had with them, maybe that's a product of him growing once he got eliminated and came to terms with himself that "well yeah there was a bit complicated shit but we still had fun together", but deep down he feels a sort of... guilt? Regarding Suitcase.

But even then, Balloon scolds him for trying to erase the times where Nickel made all of them feel bad. Hell! Even then Balloon recognizes that Nickel hurted Baseball deeply! And he says how Suitcase was the only one who had enough courage to stand up for her! Because hey! Nickel did use the same treatment that he used with Suitcase on Baseball! But the difference is that BaseBall kept making excuses for him!

The person who Nickel has been, alongside Baseball, "ignoring" of some sorts, has been Suitcase.

But here's the thing as well: Nickel doesn't know how to make things better again.

Nickel doesn't understand... feelings and complex emotions to put it shortly. He's afraid of change, and the way he just ignores the bad stuff that happened and tries to say that it's the only way that things can work, is... somewhat sad. Nickel doesn't understand a lot of stuff. He probably thinks that, at the end of the day, those were just little conflicts and that there was more good than bad.

But... that would mean he would also be running away from his consciousness over what Suitcase told him.

About how none of what they had was real.

He doesn't realize the damage he has done because hey. As much as you all like to think that Nickel didn't have his reasons to be a dick towards Balloon, he did. He actually did. He even mentions it in this episode, that if Balloon didn't try to manipulate everyone just as S1 started, maybe things would be different.

Nickel SAW and KNOWS Balloon's by his awful actions, and he wanted to protect BaseBall and Suitcase from him, since he thinks that Balloon CAN'T be trust-worthy after everything he did in S1.

That's why he was so aggressive as well towards Balloon. Yes, he cared for BaseBall, but he also cared for Suitcase deeply. The thing is that Suitcase was Balloon's friend, and Nickel can't bring himself to think that someone who he saw being such an awful person, could possibly be targetting someone who he cares about as well. So that's why he tried to push Balloon away for so long. He tried to keep his relationship with Suitcase and BB, he even says it in S2 when Suitcase confesses that she voted for him.

But of course, this is even more complicated. Both Nickel and Balloon fucked up, but Nickel fucked up for a longer time. Balloon was actually changing, and Nickel did only take the protective stance when this was happening. Which like, Nickel was right on that. He had his reasons to NOT trust Balloon. The problem is that he couldn't accept that Balloon was changing, and that he wasn't realizing that his actions were hurting both BB and Suitcase.

What I think that people don't get, or what hurts me the most, is the fact that Nickel is in denial. But it's merely the fact that when he hears Suitcase's voice, he doesn't get angry or mad, or even panics, no.

He's just... shocked.

What are you supposed to tell someone who went through hell, thanks to you, even if you tried to protect her from whom you thought was bad? What are you supposed to tell the friend who you tried to protect and instead hurted them in awful ways?

What are you even supposed to do in that situation?

It's not only that, but the fact that he didn't even think twice when walking towards her, didn't even question if she was truly Suitcase. Like, he immediately went on and tried to explain himself to her-

He completely forgot about everything because he wanted to talk to her and, I do think that he feels guilty for what he did, but he can't put it to words/can't understand it completely after all- but his first instict after seeing Suitcase is to talk to her about it.

He wants to explain himself to her- maybe even apologize, but he doesn't know how.

The thing is that Nickel is smart. With logical stuff, not feelings, according to Adam himself. And that fucks it all up for him.

Nickel can't handle change.

Suitcase can understand change.

Balloon is always changing.

And BaseBall can't keep up with it.

And that shows it here.

Nickel is a complicated character. Guilt is eating him constantly but he lacks emotional intelligence. He can accept that stuff went wrong, but seem doesn't understand what or why they did go wrong.

He regrets what he did to Suitcase most likely judging from his behaviour the mere second he saw her, but he can't tell why exactly. Same thing as Nickel probably realizing that he keeps on messing up the more he clings into that mentality. He tries to move on from the past, but he can't. He even says it. There's no way to make things feel better as of now, so that's why he pretends.

But there is a way.

He just... needs to talk it out with Suitcase and Balloon.

That being said, thank you for reading this.

[py-dreamer]

Oh! It's Mac(aroni)-learns-the-consequences-for his-actions o'clock!: the AU

To my marshiemallows who saw my other post, no this isn't the part two I was talking about

(it's coming dw! ...I am going to roast those fics over a pit like a rotisserie chicken...)

but this is some more Ma-caca slander so if you're into that...

"get in loser we're going to yell into some all hearing (but terrible at listening) ears"

(DISCLAIMER: I do enjoy Macaque as a character, he is well written in the show imo

This is a call-out to those who think he's just a victim and excuse his crimes in the show, in lore and make him the "uwu soft boi who needs to be protected at all cost who everyone loves including all of Wukong's subjects apparently"

and make Wukong the "selfish narcissist who's a lazy good for nothing, a monster who killed Mac for funsies then cried for centuries afterward without his waifu, doesn't deserve anything good, everyone hates him for good reason, he kills puppies on a daily bas-"

yea you get the point)

I know there're some AUs where there's an artifact that can change time or transport you into a different dimension

Yea so y'know what, let Macaque get his hands on one of them, mid battle with the monkie kids.

They tell him to calm down and give the artifact back but Mac gets pissy about an earlier conversation with Wukong.

About how he made a shrine to honor his pilgrim brothers and Mac gets mad.

He tells Wukong that it's been centuries since they've died so why doesn't he let them go and Wukong of course gets pissed too.

Then Mac-aroni bursts at him why there was nothing for the brotherhood or DBK when he sealed him or when he died

He adds some extra insults for flavor then leaves (as usual) without giving the monkey king to give his perspective and cuss him out

Back to the present, Mac decides to alter the timeline just a wee bit...

"Tang Sanzang was killed by the six eared Macaque during their first encounter"

Then we see this new world...but it's not all happy like Macaque hoped

First off, the journey was to retrieve holy scriptures from India which would help to cleanse the east apparently. But it was also because of the journey a lot of corruption was stopped (eg slow cart kingdom with its policy on Buddhism, kingdom of women and the demon guarding the abortion spring, the demon who overthrew the black river god, kidnappings in general)

So yea if it was cut short, a lot of that corruption would still be in power.

With most of the human population being overtaken by humans or corrupt kings or busy being eaten or courtnapped, yea society could not evolve. It stays mostly stagnant, so a lot of technology hasn't been invented yet and most humans (particularly lower class) are doing worse for wear.

But it wasn't his fault; it was the society and humans for being to weak to upturn itself.

Mac sees them, doesn't really care and goes off to find Wukong because hey, he's curious

However he finds the Camel Ridge trio instead and we know what kinda happened in that town.

The surrounding area is dry and barren because all the life is being sucked out of it. Heck, its probably even more arid cause the trio's reign has lasted for centuries.

They all welcome Macaque with open arms asking him where he's been and they haven't heard of him since the monk's murder.

The trio thank Mac since they heard how the monk had Wukong on a leash and how he was no more than a guard dog and they were worried that he'd make the monkey king reign his wrath on the city if they ever crossed and without him, the journey never continued and there was no encounter

He's disturbed by the friends he once loathed and fought welcoming him with open arms and owed their success to his actions.

But it wasn't his fault for their corruption, it was their city and their choices, someway or another karma will get them probably...maybe...

Since without the journey, the brotherhood never would've ended up in the ink scrolls

"Its a shame Wukong and Brother Bull can't join us"

Mac asks what they mean and where DBK was.

He learns the demon bull family were in mourning.

You see, without the pilgrims and more importantly, Sanzang and Wukong present, the sealing of the samahdi fire probably wouldn't have went the same.

They couldn't find anyone available who'd survive the flames so DBK, PIF and Nezha had to try it themselves...and were sadly unsucessful

The infant's power caused mass destruction, many deaths, injured both his parents greatly...

...and ultimately led the child to an early grave.

Leaving the clan and couple devastated for years to come.

But it still wasn't his fault: it was just due to unfortunate circumstances!

Macaque, disturbed by this leaves without saying goodbye, goes to flower fruit mountain to check on its status. Since without having to continue the journey, surely the monkey king would be basking in the sun with his subjects happily gorging themselves on fruit-

Only he comes back to a total wasteland.

As a consequence of letting the monk be killed and failing his chance at redemption, heaven punished Sun Wukong and he was never seen again (much to Mac's surprise).

But not only that, it seemed the gods took their rage out on Flower fruit mountain as well. This was the 2nd time it was burned but now they made sure to finish the job, every last tree engulfed in flames.

Without the monkey king coming back to save them, all the inhabitants were at risk of the burning and any left who fled to the mainland were captured and sold, starved or hunted and eaten. There were no survivors.

Upset by his discovery, Macaque was filled with rage at the king. How dare he not take care of their home, he failed as a friend but now as a king too. So he snuck into heaven to find out his location to find answers and yell at him.

It wasn't his fault their home was destroyed. That was Wukong's duty as king! He failed his subjects and he must pay

A tear filled Macaque snuffs through heaven's files as even he couldn't find the location of Sun Wukong's prison.

He learns that Nezha after failing to seal the fire, got terribly burned in the process probably crippling him and causing mass destruction to many nearby towns and minor gods had been cast out of heaven.

Some of the guilt started weighing in on him but he put that aside, because of course it wasn't his fault; the god was just too weak and shouldn't have stuck his nose into other's business.

And finally, the main course we've all been waiting for: confronting Wukong.

He's back under 5 phases mountain but this time with many more locks and security cautions. Macaque learns nobody had heard from the king in a 1000 years.

He finds the king and screams at him that it was his fault how FFM was now a desolate dessert devoid of life.

But to his surprise, the king laughs.

The king laughs maniacally, practically howling with laughter but with crazed eyes like a madman.

"I assume you'll blame me for 'abandoning' you too?"

He rips into Macaque about how they always swore to stay by each others side but the moment things get ugly Mac will always save his skin. And asks where was he for him through all this.

Not during the battle vs heaven.

Not during his trials.

Not during his imprisonment.

Not when he asked him to go back and leave the pilgrims alone.

Not when heaven pointed fingers at him that the monk's murder was his fault.

Not when FFM was destroyed and Wukong didn't learn until some heavenly officials told him years later as they fed him metal pellets and molten iron.

Even now, the only reason he came was to complain.

(I imagine a lil conversation to go like this:

Macaque: They abused you! They didn't free you!!

Wukong: WELL NEITHER DID YOU!!!!

Macaque:...

Wukong:...neither did you...)

Then Mac decides to ask what the pilgrims did afterward and bet they all ran off too...how wrong he was

(Macaque: Then where are your 'pilgrim' brothers now? Why aren't they here to help you the-

Wukong: they're gone

Macaque: what..?

Wukong: They're gone...They're gone...gone...DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? ARE YOU DEAF? I SAID THEY'RE GONE!!!

Macaque: but how...

Wukong: after you fled the scene, the heavenly officials came to detain me....hahahah...I was caught in that diamond snare again and Ao Lie jumped in to defend me.

Macaque: but I thought...

Wukong: I was so distraught, I couldn't do anything...They said that it was also their fault master was dead so they'd better stay quiet if they wanted to lessen their sentence....hahahah...I watched them all die one by one Macaque...

Macaque:...

Wukong:...they all defended me...even the goddamn pig... And do you know where that lead them? They all died...Liu'er...they're dead...I WATCHED MY BROTHERS DIE IN FRONT OF ME FOR DEFENDING ME...I DID NOTHING LIU'ER...DO YOU KNOW WHERE AZURE AND THE OTHERS ARE NOW? I'M SURE THEY'RE PARTYING AND LEAVING ME TO ROT. MEANWHILE MY BROTHERS GAVE THEIR LIVES FOR A USELESS MONKEY. I COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT MY SUBJECTS...OR SANZANG...THE GREAT SAGE EQUAL TO HEAVEN CAN'T EVEN PROTECT A SINGLE HUMAN...ALL THAT TIME, TRAINING, USELESS!! SO SURE...BLAME ME ALL YOU WANT BECAUSE I DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT!!!! COME ON!!!!

Macaque: God, you've really gone mad...)

I want this man to meet his inner demons or someone able to slap him around to just really remind him of the consequences to his actions maybe some ink scroll action.

Just basically:

And maybe if I'm feeling nice we get a happy ending, Mac reverses the spell or something and perhaps says something nice to Wukong for once.

If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions on how the timeline would change, do tell I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

@furornocturna might be reminding Mac-adoodledoo of his crimes to the monkie kids in the present but I'm taking him for a roadtrip to the past

(or other present...time travel is complicated y'all)

(Again I recommend 'Fractured pieces make a mosaic' on Ao3.

I shall call them my partner in crime for Mac-caca bullying if they shall so let me have the honors...also @nightmarebunnyking...they also do good slander

No I will not stop advertising their work. Cause it's good outside of the slander, Wukong is very affectionate, we love that for him and MK collects dads like pokemon cards

also kinda want opinions on more ole'Mac-doodle had denial. E I E I O

I propose we gather in a circle and beat him with a stick

...pls interact its 1 am rn)

Also fun fact this is my 2001st post so uhh...yay..?

[meabh-mcinness]

Anon that requested runaway!SO Narnia prompt here, and my heart squeezed when I saw you put it in your list. Thank you so much!

Saw your post, and I love the idea for it to take place before the 13th Deviculum, it changes Narnia's vitriol towards Iruma so much.

I don't believe that he doesn't think that Iruma's fame (as the Misfits are apparently a household name and in papers) DIDN'T influence his lover leaving him in a bid for freedom! Maybe he noticed that she had been paying attention to whatever news they got of Iruma's antics, like him even attending his first Deviculum.

Makes his beef with Iruma personal, if Narnia even slightly blamed the poor bean's (seemingly intentional) tendency to stand out as what put ideas in her head when she was pretty content to stay before.

(Actually, my first idea about why the SO leapt to the nuclear option of vanishing and not talking it out, prompt happening after-deviculum, was because he knocked her up. And girl got SO scared for her child, since at that point he revealed that he still hated 'dirty humans' and it fed into her pre-existing insecurities about how he kept her secret from everyone he knew, why he never married her in any kind of demonic ritual, and fed her growing misassumption that she was basically a pet that he didn't think was acceptable for demonic society.

Culminating into a major freak out when the SO found out she was going to have a half-human baby.

Like, would he want to keep her child? Would they be raised to never know that their mother was human, with the belief that her heritage made them weak compared to full-blooded demon children? Would Narnia still keep her secret and introduce their child to society as without a mother, without her?

...most of her worries aren't quite true, as imo Narnia *wasn't* trying to treat her like a mistress/guilty secret wife, it was mostly his yandere tendencies and unrestrained demonic territorial possessiveness talking and getting irrationally jealous of possible competition, of anyone else taking up her attention.

Part of it is because Narnia doesn't have many trusted allies (friends) that weren't also co-workers (and thus can recognize a human) and wouldn't set his instincts off! And he got way too comfortable with their current lifestyle, since he was probably an intensely private demon in the first place.

Truly a misundestanding of tragic proportions. Were it Kalego in his position, he could at least be alright to introduce her to Balam, and Balam Shichiro could have gotten a human to eventually open up and communicate about their discontent and gotten things addressed. Alas, this isn't a Kalego story, though it might be interesting to have one where Kalego and the Sullivan household come together over their secret humans, hehe.

But Narnia's SO hasn't been in a good place mentally and emotionally, not for a long time, and worked herself into an irrational panic that culminated into a flight into the night decision.

Sorry, this took so long to get out! I hope I've lived up to your expectations! My beta tells me this made her tear up a bit so I'm hoping it has the same effect for everyone but enjoys it anyways.

The Price of Freedom - request (Yandere!Narnia x fem!reader)Ⓐ

Narnia keeps you trapped on the property to keep you safe from the rest of the Netherworld and while his intentions are good he's doing more harm than intended. After all, humans are social pack animals meant to be able to roam about wild and free. And while there are exceptions to every rule, you are not one of them. So when you see a chance to leave, you take it. Leaving your heart behind but gaining your freedom in the process.

Also, this is a two-parter! The first part is angst but I haven't decided if our little couple here will get a happy ending or not yet. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

You took a deep breath, glancing over at the slumbering body holding yours. His long hair was fanned out behind him and his pale skin practically gleamed even in the darkness of the room. Soon enough, his alarm would go off, and those dark eyes would open blearily, and he'd grumble while trying to turn it off and pull you closer. Eventually, he'd give in, wake up more with a smile and a kiss for you and get ready for the day. It was a daily routine that had lasted for a few years now, and it was one you loved.

Your heart clenched at the fact that this would probably be the last morning it ever happened.

Your eyes travelled all the lines of his face, taking in every detail that you could, hoping to memorize them to the best of your ability. You had plenty of photos stored away, that you already knew you would take out over and over again until they faded with age and even afterwards, but no photo could ever beat seeing him in person. You were tempted to gently run your fingers over his cheeks and down his hair but knew he would wake up immediately, startled.

He was such a light sleeper due to the years of growing up under the Naberius household that you always tried hard to not make too much noise or movements so that he could sleep in when he could. And as this would be the last time you laid beside him, you wanted to enjoy this moment. To have time freeze over this peace, and not have the negative feelings swirling through your body running circles in your mind. To leave this all behind no matter how much you loved it because you couldn't stay caged in any longer.

But you couldn't. As a human, you held no magic beyond what the power of runes and already magic-infused items could give you, much less the amount of power needed to freeze time itself. So instead, here you lay, trying to absorb as much as possible because the moment that he leaves property lines, you would be getting to work. You had even purposefully made a bit of a mess last night and promptly shoved the both of you to bed so that you would have an excuse on why you were moving things about if he came back early for whatever reason.

You could only hope he didn't come home early.

Today had been forecasted to be nice and sunny until the afternoon rolled around with thunderstorms. If you timed it right, you'd be able to pack everything up, leave and make it to town right before the storms hit, with several hours to spare for the rain to wash away your trail. Otherwise, if the rain came early you would be stuck here until the next time such an opportunity presented itself, and who knew when that would be? More than likely you would have gone stir-crazy before that happened, and who knew what kind of damage you would do when that happened?

Not that this idea was much better. Had this been a more ordinary relationship, you would have easily just talked out the fact you had wanderlust and gone out to visit new places. Instead, as much as you loved Narnia, you could admit he was a bit paranoid and even straight-up territorial about your standing in this world. Always going on about the dangers of this world and wanting to keep you here in this safe bubble of a home he had made for the two of you.

Not that it was without reason. The Netherworld was indeed a harsh place and there were so many dangers just out your front door, much less the rest of this big bad world. And yet the human world was not without its dangers as well, and while you knew many threats had magic which left you at quite the disadvantage, you could at least protect yourself semi-well. Narnia had seen to that with what started as daily training sessions, which slowly moved to once every few days then to a few times a month as you proved more proficient, and he gained harder and harder cases to solve.

At first, you hadn't thought much of it. Even in the human world, it was quite often that schedules could get packed. You would have been fine with it if you had something to do other than roam this tiny amount of land. Instead, you were trapped here like a prized pet in a cage, forever waiting for your precious master to return. You couldn't live like that. Not anymore at least.

Suddenly your thoughts were broken by the sharp tones of his alarm. You couldn't help the startled movement you made, having not fully expected it to go off so soon. This in turn startled Narnia awake. His eyes snapped open and immediately focused on you before swiping the room for any danger.

You gave him a sheepish smile, "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

Narnia brushed off your apology with a casual wave of his hand and leaned in to give you a soft, lingering kiss. A large pale hand caresses your face and sweeps into your hairline to pull you in closer. It was a sweet morning ritual, one that you cherished. He tasted like roses and dark chocolate with a hint of mint, a flavour unique to him. His lips were warm and inviting, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to forget the impending departure.

Breaking the kiss, Narnia slipped out of bed, his movements fluid and graceful. He grabbed a towel from the nearby rack and headed for the bathroom. You watched him as he moved, his silhouette bathed in the soft morning light filtering through the curtains.

He began his usual morning routine, the sounds of running water and the clinking of toiletries filling the air. You couldn't help but smile as you listened. It was the ordinary moments like these that you would miss the most.

While he showered, you took the opportunity to slip out of bed and start preparing for the day ahead. You retrieved a backpack from the closet and began packing it with essential items: clothes, food, a first aid kit, and a map of the Netherworld. You knew you'd have to travel light, but you wanted to be as prepared as possible for whatever lay ahead.

As you worked, you couldn't help but glance over towards where Narnia in the bathroom would be. You could hear him humming a tune over the splashing of water, likely with a contented expression on his face as he went about his routine. It was moments like these that made leaving even harder.

But you couldn't stay. Your longing for adventure, for freedom, had grown too strong to ignore. And so, you continued to pack, determined to make the most of the time you had left with him. After packing the essentials in your backpack, you carefully zipped it up and placed it under the bed, hidden from plain view. You couldn't risk Narnia stumbling upon it and asking questions before you were ready to explain your decision.

With that task completed, you moved on to the next item on your agenda: breakfast. You headed to the kitchen, quietly so as not to disturb Narnia in the bathroom. You had learned to navigate this small cottage with a gentle touch, ensuring that your movements were subtle and silent. In the kitchen, you gathered the ingredients for a simple breakfast - eggs, toast, and a few vegetables. As you cracked the eggs into a bowl and started whisking them, the aroma of cooking filled the air, a comforting and familiar scent that made your heart ache with nostalgia.

By the time Narnia emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed, you had already set the table for two. He gave you a warm smile as he approached, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

"Smells delicious," he murmured, his voice filled with genuine appreciation.

You returned his smile and turned to face him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "Just a little something to start your day off right," you replied, trying to sound as normal as possible despite the turmoil in your heart. Together, you shared a quiet breakfast at the cozy table, the two of you lost in your thoughts. Narnia talked about his plans for the day, the cases he needed to solve, and the colleagues he'd be meeting with. You listened attentively, offering words of encouragement and support.

As the time for Narnia to leave for work approached, you couldn't help but feel the weight of impending separation bearing down on you. You walked him to the door, his hand in yours, and shared a lingering kiss before he stepped outside.

He gave you a weird look, seemingly studying you, causing you to pause and tilt your head at him in response with the most curious look you could muster, before he shook his head and went back to making sure he had his things for work. You felt your body relax at passing whatever test that had been. You could thank the fact that years of wearing a mask in the human world also helped you here, even if you didn't much like why you were using it now.

You gave him a smile and leaned up on your toes to give him a kiss. 'Your last kiss' your mind supplied. What a shame you had to pass it off as your regular see-you-later rather than pour everything you had into it like you wanted to. But that would be suspicious, and he would want to stay longer or it might make him think you were in the mood and stay for a completely different reason. As much as you wanted the touch of his body one more time, you couldn't have it. Not without messing up your carefully laid out plan.

"Have a good day at work!" You chirped at him before waving him off with a laugh as he grumbled under his breath about how no day at work without you was a good day. You leaned against the door frame as you admired the large leathery wings that suddenly burst from his back, the appendages giving a few small flutters to stretch themselves out before he took off into the dawning sky with another wave at you.

You gave him another small wave in return and watched until you could no longer see him on the horizon. Even then you gave it a few seconds to see if he happened to turn around. It wouldn't be the first time he'd purposely forgotten something so that he could come back and spend a few more moments with you. Once those few seconds passed you deemed it safe to carry on with your plan. With Narnia gone for the day, you had a limited window of opportunity to execute your plan. You took a deep breath, feeling a mixture of excitement and fear as you prepared to embark on the journey that would take you far away from the life you had known, and into the unknown.

You only had a few hours to tear this place apart, grab everything you could, put it back together again and be on your way to a new life. It wouldn't be easy as you first went back into the bedroom and stripped the bed of everything. Throwing the sheets into the laundry and tossing your personal pillows aside to be packed later. Next, as the blankets washed, you scoured the walls and frames for every photo of you that you could find. There was an almost surprising amount of them, considering both your and Narnia's aversion to photos, but you supposed that anyone would want to have captured moments when they were in a relationship.

Had this been a normal relationship perhaps you would be packing everything up for a completely different reason. Perhaps moving into a bigger home than this little one-bedroom cottage, or even moving things aside until renovations were done to expand this one. However, this wasn't a normal relationship, and you couldn't entertain the idea of it ever being so any longer.

With every delicate movement, you took great care to erase any trace of your existence from the cottage. You gathered any personal belongings that tied you to this place, from clothing to small trinkets, and stowed them away in your backpacks, making sure not to leave behind a single item that might raise suspicion. The cottage itself bore no signs of your occupancy; the walls were stripped of photos, the bedroom was bare other than his belongings, and even the living room was devoid of any of your personal touches.

You took a deep breath as you stood in the now almost empty cottage, a sense of finality washing over you. It really was as if you had never lived there at all. With one last glance around, you knew it was time to leave. Gathering up your bags you took a deep breath as you took in the boundary line from where the property ended and the next one began. You knew from several small tests that there were no wards that would alert Narnia to your leaving. A serious oversight on his part that you were happily taking advantage of. As you stared at the line you couldn't help but think of Samwise from Lord of the Rings and couldn't but wonder if this is how it felt for him to leave his home behind for a big adventure.

Heart pounding and veins singing you made the first step across, then another and another until you laughed at the fluttering of pleasure that coursed through you. The imaginary shackles that had bound were falling free as you walked determinedly onward towards your new life. You wanted to stop and observe every plant and animal you came across, but you had a long way to go still and you could already smell the rain on the horizon.

Yet, deep within you, a tiny spark of hope flickered, for you were on the path to a new beginning, and the possibilities of the unknown stretched out before you like an open book, waiting to be written.

________

Narnia landed more harshly than he meant to in his attempt to get inside from the torrential downpour quicker. Mud splattered as high as his thighs from his hard crouched landing before he straightened up again to move towards the door. He wasn't entirely sure why he was so anxious to get home, but something in his veins told him that something was wrong. He hadn't gotten this far in life by entirely ignoring his instincts, and yet he couldn't think of anything that could be wrong.

Well. Besides the way you had been acting lately that was.

He wasn't blind, he had known there was something off with you. You had been steadily getting more and more twitchy, almost like a caged beast in too small of a kennel. Perhaps you were entering some kind of new phase? Like when birds moulted old feathers to make new ones, perhaps you were going through something similar but a more human body version? Your skin had peeled several times over the years, so perhaps a more involved version appeared when you hit a new phase. Such a thing would certainly make him twitchy.

As he came closer to the door, forcefully coming out of his thoughts, he realized that all the lights were off. This wasn't too unusual. You had a habit of occasionally going to bed early or watching TV late and purposefully leaving the lights off for a better ambience. But after the weird way you acted this morning and the feeling he had all day, it just made him feel more anxious.

Wrenching the door open, he quickly stalked into the living room, shaking his head much like a dog to get the excess water off his hair before tilting his head to the side. He listened carefully for either the low sounds of music or the TV or even just your steady breathing.

Nothing. It was absolutely silent. Heart pounding, he raced through all the rooms, praying that he would find you simply dozing off and would berate him for waking you. You would laugh before comforting him over his silly anxiety, and everything would be perfectly fine.

Only it wasn't. As he swung the last door open into your shared bedroom, water still trailing behind him, it hit him that you really weren't here. As his eyes swept over every inch, he finally registered none of you was here. The photos on the walls were missing, and your half of the closet was empty. Hell, even your pillows were gone, the bed freshly laundered and remade to look like only one person slept in it.

With this sudden realization, he tore back through the house carefully to confirm what he already knew. Everything you owned, every craft you had made, every book he had bought you, was gone.

You were gone.

If it wasn't for the faintest scent of you still trapped in the furniture, it would have been as if you had never even existed. As if you hadn't spent literal years together here in this home, cuddling on the couch or playing board games on the table. As if you had never had mini cooking wars in the kitchen that usually ended with you both laughing and kissing the food off one another or in the large tub relaxing as the warm herb-infused waters soaked into your muscles.

Had someone taken you? Had someone noticed your existence and decided they wanted you for themselves? Taken you against your will and made it look like you didn't exist so that he couldn't go to anyone for help without looking crazy? Or perhaps, since such a thorough job was done, had Border Patrol swept in without his knowledge? Purposefully kept him out of the loop with an important enough job to ensure he couldn't stop them.

But no, Henri would have kept him from leaving and questioned him regardless. Always playing by the rules, Henri did, and that left him, for the most part, predictable. So not Border Patrol then. But who else? Perhaps Baal? He hadn't been as subtle as he could have been in trying to figure out if Narnia was willing to return to origins. Had he discovered you when trying to stake Narnia out and gotten rid of you?

At the thought, a feral growl ripped out of Narnia, and he ran out of the house and back into the rain in the hopes of catching some kind of trail. With it raining as hard and long as it had, all scents and tracks would be long gone, so the only thing he had left was to feel out any foreign magic that would have been used and try to track that. And yet, no matter how hard he tried or how much power he threw into his wards, he couldn't find any recent detection of foreign magic. None at all. Even the local mail demon flying in would have left something to follow.

It was almost as if...but no, that was impossible. There was absolutely no way you would have left on your own. You knew the dangers and never strayed further than a couple of yards from the walls of your home. Even then you didn't usually go further than your flower beds, or food gardens in the back. With a snarl, Narnia turned back and raced back through the house more closely, determined to find even the smallest clue.

As Narnia's desperate search through the house came to an agonizing conclusion, he stood in your shared bedroom, drenched in rainwater, his chest heaving with anxiety and disbelief. Your absence was undeniable, and the once-familiar space now felt alien and hollow. His racing thoughts continued to churn with questions and fears, each one more unsettling than the last. The eerie silence in the house seemed to mock his growing panic.

Unable to accept the possibility of your disappearance, he clutched at straws, desperately searching for any sign of your presence. He scanned the room, running his fingers over the empty hangers in the closet and the vacant space on your side of the bed. The absence of your cherished belongings was a stark reminder of your absence.

With trembling hands, Narnia stumbled upon something that sent a shiver down his spine. A faint but lingering scent of you still clung to the furniture, a trace of the life you had shared together in this very room. It was both a cruel reminder of what had been and a glimmer of hope that you hadn't vanished entirely.

His heart ached as he clung to that scent, unwilling to let go of the memories and the love that had defined their life together. But as the minutes passed, reality continued to gnaw at him, and he realized he needed answers, no matter how painful they might be. Turning away from the room that had once been filled with your presence, Narnia retraced his steps, still soaked from the rain. His determination to find you grew stronger with every passing moment. He couldn't bear the thought of losing you, not without knowing the truth.

Tripping in his haste he fell to his knees next to the coffee table in the living room. With shaking limbs, he started to force himself to get up when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Laying innocently on the ground, a folded-up piece of parchment, his name written in your distinctive shaky handwriting. You never did get the hang of writing the demonic characters simply because you couldn't practice properly with the spell forcing you to see the letters in your own language but writing in his.

His emotions churned as he approached the letter, a fragile piece of paper that held the key to your mysterious departure. With trembling hands, he unfolded it and began to read. The words on the page weighed heavily on his heart, each sentence cutting deeper into his soul.

His hands trembled as his eyes scanned the letter quickly, hoping for some clue about where you were, only to grow more despondent the further he read. A pained howl tore from him as he took in what exactly your letter had meant, and he hadn't even realized he had started crying until the letters started bleeding together from his tears. With a choked gasp, he immediately wiped the tears away and tried to fan the letter dry again.

This letter was the only thing he had left from you besides the flowers you had planted outside. He had to take perfect care of it all. Had to keep it well until he could find you again. Because he would find you, no matter what it took. If you wanted the freedom to explore, then you could have it, just as long as you came back home-- back to him. His voice quivered with whimpers as he clutched the letter tightly to his chest, his heart aching with love and longing for the one who had vanished from his life.

To My Beloved Narnia,

As I sit here writing this letter, I can only think of all the moments we've shared together.

From our first meeting to our last embrace this morning, our courtship has been

nothing but a source of joy in my life. Sometimes, though, love isn't enough to make

something work. And I've come to the painful decision that we need to separate, at

least for a while. I will always cherish the moments and memories we shared and I am

sorry for the pain that this may cause you, but I can no longer do this. Humans are

not meant to be caged, no matter how nice that cage is. I need to be free, to be able

to go out and about, meet others, and explore this world, even if it's at the cost

of losing you. I'm truly sorry it came to this, and I will love you always.

Forever Yours

[hopefuloverfury]

ey yooooo are requests still open?? if so, what are the bachelor/ette's first impressions of the farmer? who do you think has a crush right off the bat and who takes a little longer to warm up to them?

They are open! I’ll let y’all know when they’re closed, but you can still send in requests regardless—I won’t delete any, but I have to wait until I have time to work through them. This got away from me, it’s so long, and I really wanted to do a bit for everybody, but the post is a monster so I'm going to make the bachelorette's a little later, if that's alright! It also fell a little more toward “How The Marriage Candidates Fall In Love With You,” so. Uh. Whoops? I hope you enjoy!

Bachelorettes are here.

This is super fluffy for some of them, others not so much, Shane is Shane, and Seb is Seb. There’s some little bits of dialogue here and there, but I didn’t go crazy, and I tried to stick to canon but also I did not stick to canon lmfao

Sam

Sam saw you on the first friday of spring, at the saloon

He thought you looked… pretty normal, actually

like, yeah sure, you had work boots caked with dried mud, and a backpack stuffed past-full with an assortment of busted up tools slung over your shoulder, but other than that, pretty normal

Besides, it wasn’t weird for people living on a farm to have a lot of tools, right?

He’s got the image of you seared into his brain for a few days afterward, but doesn’t talk about it with Seb and Abigail because they’re both weirdly touchy about the subject (more on that later)

Then you approach him at the egg festival to introduce yourself, and Sam’s curiosity grows that much more

Your boots are still filthy, your backpack is practically bursting at the seams, and he’s pretty sure he saw you drop at least 5000 gold on seeds at Pierre’s stand

He wants to talk to you more, but then Lewis starts the egg hunt, and for the first time since Sam moved to Pelican Town, Abigail loses—to you

Everyone is surprised, Abigail is bitter about it, Sam wishes he’d had the chance to talk to you again after the egg hunt was wrapped up, but he couldn’t find you

He’s even more taken aback when he hears about your stints in the mines to the north of town, because aren’t there monsters down there???? 

Not to mention you apparently have a nasty habit of falling asleep in town instead of at your farmhouse?? Where you should be sleeping?? Hello?????

Plus the acts of literal deforestation you’ve apparently been enacting outside of Seb’s house? (with robin’s permission, but still)

He is so confused

The flower dance rolls around

You don’t ask anyone to dance, but you do make your rounds, making sure to talk to everyone—even Clint and Mr. Mullner, and he’s especially surprised when he spots you talking to the homeless guy that lives behind Seb’s house

He’s interested to get to know you, but isn’t self-aware enough to examine the underlying intentions there

Over the course of your friendship, he starts feeling things he didn’t know he could

When you defend him with Lewis, when you take the blame for the egg incident—and when you arrive to the bus stop twenty minutes early for their gig in the city—even though you hate the city

You dressed up for the occasion, and Sam almost drops his guitar case in the dirt when he sees you

You help them load up their equipment into the bus, and Sam can’t stop looking at you

Asks to sit next to you during the drive

You share his earbuds and he shows their music to you

You both bob your heads to the beat, and your thighs are pressing together, but he's the only one who notices

He wants to hold your hand so bad

And then when he’s on stage, he’s got anxiety bubbling in his gut, but one look at you standing in the front row has him jumping headfirst into the set with a wild grin on his face

He catches you buying one of their band shirts and a CD from outside the venue

He gets breathless every time he sees you wearing it around town after that

You wear it when you hand him the bouquet, too, and he swears he could fall to his knees

Seb

He doesn’t like you

Even before you showed up, he didn’t like you

For weeks, you were all anyone could talk about

He couldn’t make it through one conversation without hearing about you, and it drove him nuts

He didn’t understand the allure, or the interest, and he was genuinely irritated every time you were mentioned

Like a song that you overplay so much that you end up hating it?

Yeah. exactly like that

When he meets you, he’s even more put off because he doesn’t understand you

He doesn’t understand why you’d leave the city to go to Pelican Town

He understands the allure of a gigantic swathe of land waiting to be claimed, but still. 

Pelican Town???

Also weirded out by how eager you are to make friends, and the first time you gift him a quartz crystal, he doesn’t know how to react—mainly he’s just afraid about how you knew he liked them because he knows for a fact that he's never told you

But even though you make him uncomfortable at first, he’s not going to be outright rude to you or go out of his way to be a dickhead

And honestly, you’re still nice

You’re weird, and he’s never seen the land around his house so devoid of trees before, but that’s really as far as his opinion goes

his mother isn’t stressing nearly as much about bills anymore due to your commissions, so he’s kind of glad about that

But you’re so different from him, and he’s pretty committed to getting the hell out of pelican town, so what does it matter? He’s not going to be around for long enough to make a real friend out of you

Oh, Sebby

He immediately changes his tune the first time you give him sashimi

It was surprising that you didn’t make up a story or give an excuse for it, either

You waltzed into his room like you owned the place, waited until he was finished with work (which was… a new experience for him) and set the container on his corner shelf

“You like sashimi, so I made this for you. Tell me what you think. Have a good day, Seb.” and you smiled at him, and maybe you didn’t notice the way his ears flushed bright red, or maybe you were just too nice to point it out

And it was good sashimi

It wasn’t a special occasion, it wasn’t a prank, and he was dead confused because you’d only exchanged a few hellos and stilted conversations that altogether totaled a grand three minutes, so he had no idea how you knew again

Worked up the courage to ask

Everything clicked into place when you told him that his mother and half-sister mentioned it to you

And then he was stuck with the knowledge that you talked about him to other people—that you even asked about him

You’re respectful of his time and boundaries, you speak kindly to him, show an interest in his hobbies, and he’s amassed a small collection of frozen tears and quartz crystals lined on his shelves

He orders stands for every last one, dusts them all regularly, and when you give him an obsidian stone, he starts carrying it around with him in his pocket, just because

He fights with himself for months before he can admit to himself that he has a crush on you

Definitely has that “oh no” moment lmao

Can’t look at you for a little while, but once he gets over that, he can’t stop looking

Takes longer to admit it to anyone else, and doesn’t intend to admit it to you

You throw a wrench in that plan eventually :)

Alex

We all know he finds you attractive right off the bat

Which—obviously, why wouldn’t he? (<3)

But unlike Shane, for example, he’s readily kind and eager to talk to someone other than his grandparents or Haley

He might be attracted to you, but he’ll try his best not to let that color his interactions as much

There are moments where he slips up, but there’s no negative intentions there

And because he knows himself, he figures whatever mini-crush he’s developing will eventually go away

When it doesn't, he gets really down on himself

Starts thinking about you constantly, and rethinking all of your interactions so far

Kind of ashamed of how he treated you

You’ve always been so kind to him, and so supportive of his goal to go pro

But he’s never really… reciprocated that

It takes him a long while to work up the courage to apologize

He wishes he didn’t do it while in the middle of a workout, but the moment felt right otherwise

It helped that it was just you and him, because you’re so damn popular with the rest of the town that he can rarely get a moment alone with you

And just like he figured you would, you accept his apology without any fanfare, and then turn right around and encourage him again

He’s got hearts in his eyes, trust

His crush builds over the course of months, and the moment it’s solidified is when you catch him on the beach, reminiscing about his mother

You don’t judge him for his tears, and even though you laugh when he asks you to keep it under lock and key, the sound is bright in his ears like wind chimes

And you still kept his secret

Alex is gone on you from that moment, 100%

You’re kind, and attractive, and you treat him so well it almost makes him feel insecure

When he’s working at the ice cream stand during the summer, there are plenty of times where he’s almost scooped out of the wrong tray because he was busy thinking about you

He’s never felt this way about anyone

All of his crushes have been super shallow in the past, but this is different

They were all physical, but he fantasizes about living on the farm with you, and wonders what kind of partner you’d be on the regular

Sticks his face in the freezer when his thoughts veer into less innocent territory (he thought about how you might like to kiss him)

Haley makes fun of him about it lmfao

Y’all don’t figure your shit out until year two, probably during the dance of the moonlight jellies

You ask him to watch them with you, and with the glow of the ocean illuminating your face, you hand him the bouquet

He accepts it (duh) and tries to play it cool, but he’s cheesing for the rest of the night

Elliott

Sees you fishing on the beach after an early morning spent in the mines

He walks out of his cabin to stretch his legs after a long night sitting at his writing desk

He’s only been in Pelican Town for a year himself, but he notices a new face right off the bat

You’ve got your legs hanging off the edge of the pier, fishing rod in hand, and two buckets next to you (one for bait, the other for your catches)

Elliott knows you’re the new farmer immediately

Though he’s not entirely sure why a farmer would need a sword, or a shoulder guard

He’s not intending to introduce himself to you, but when you look up and lock eyes with him, there’s a sudden tug in his chest

He believes in soulmates, I’ll just say that

Then you wave at him and smile, and he walks up without thinking about it

You take your fishing rod out of the water and set it aside, getting up to introduce yourself, and Elliott is fond of you already

Anyone who prioritizes the person they’re speaking to is going to be very attractive to him

And because Elliott’s a little sensitive, he tends to take it the wrong way when the person he’s speaking to doesn’t give him their full attention

One of my personal hcs is that he came from a rich family that never paid any real attention to him or valued his input

So when you give that to him without a second thought, he knows he’ll get along with you just fine

He’s curious about you in the beginning, but that’s as far as allows himself to take it

He thinks of you as a friend, or at least he tries to

Maybe it was the way the sunlight streaming through his windows caught your eyes as you inspected his struggling rose, or maybe it was the soft smiles you gave him when he would find crabs in his shirt pocket, but he’s constantly catching himself thinking about you

He plays it cool for the most part

But then you gift him a bottle of squid ink, mentioning how you noticed his stock getting low during your last visit, and the gears in his head make a funny noise

During the long process of writing his book, there were many times he was cemented in place by his writer’s block

But when his brisk walks through town and his piano breaks weren’t enough to spark inspiration, even a short conversation with you was enough for his fingers to twitch

You make him enjoy his art again, and he doesn’t care if someone notices the similarities between you and the protagonist of his book

Finally embraces it and dedicates his book to you

He knows he’s probably being so obvious about his feelings, but your face flushes brightly when he tells you during his reading at the library

If I’m honest, I don’t think he’s actually capable of having crushes on people

He feels everything so deeply that he might just fall straight into the ‘smitten’ category, but he swears that something about you is different

When you hand him the bouquet, he doesn’t blame fate, or any cosmic forces

None of them hold a candle to your power over him, anyway

Shane

We know how this guy is

Or rather, we know how he acts

He’s not at all curious, and he would rather you leave him alone entirely, but it’s not because he hates you or anything

He just doesn’t know you

But most everyone in town looks at him with pity, and he can’t stand another person looking at him like that

He’d rather you just not like him at all, so at least your expression will be different

Except you’re a persistent little shit

Every request he sticks on the board outside Pierre’s will be completed within the first few hours of the day, and he knows every time that it’ll be you, with whatever he’s asked for in your hands and an eager smile on your face

You always make time to talk to him, you smile at him on your way to whatever it is you get up to in your free time, and he’s pretty sure you’ve spent a small fortune on pizza and beer for him at the saloon

You laugh at his jokes, you listen to him rant about Morris and shitty customers without a shred of complaint—you make him feel like he’s actually worth listening to

The first time he’s properly mean to you is when he’s on his way to work

He’s finally accepted that you want something to do with him, and you’re tentative friends now, so it isn’t on purpose, but it’s still his fault

It’s cold outside, he hasn’t had a drink in two days, and he can’t drink before work if he wants to keep his job, so his withdrawals are bad

The wounded look on your face when he snaps at you swims behind his eyelids for his whole shift

He’s fighting tears back for the rest of the day, and his self-talk is the worst it’s been in a long time

He’s convinced he’s driven you away for good, and while part of him is almost glad that he’s managed to do it, the other, much louder part of him, is breaking apart because he’s really and truly fucked up with you

He’s at the saloon that night, already two beers in, when you waltz in

He makes eye contact with you out of habit, and your smile falters, just a bit

He feels like shit immediately, and looks down into his pint

For the first time he realizes that having you hate him feels infinitely worse than how it would if you pitied him

But with that knowledge, he reserves himself to his fuck-up

Even though he knows he should apologize, because that’s the right thing to do, he figures it’d be better for you if he just kept to himself and left you be

Until you plop down on the stool next to him at the bar, with a drink of your own

“Hey, grumpy. Do you feel like tolerating some company now?”

Stares at you in surprise for what feels like a minute before he stares into his pint again, squinting and trying to find anything wrong with it

You chuckle at him and guide him into setting down his beer

“No one spiked your drink, knucklehead, it’s me”

Was convinced that you’d want nothing to do with him, but then you order a pizza for the two of you, and he’s struck clean through by how… normal you’re being about him

Apologizes while you’re waiting for your food, and asks pretty bluntly why you’d still want to talk to him after that morning

“I figured you were just in one of your moods,” you shrug, taking a long drink from your glass, “Besides, I’ve had my moments, too. It’d be pretty hypocritical of me to get on your ass about it. But I forgive you, so quit beating yourself up about it, yeah?”

Probably doesn’t believe you’re capable of any “moments” because you’re always busting your ass to be the kindest you can possibly be

He used to think it was weird, and probably took you as the manipulative type when you first arrived, because you gave gifts and started conversations undeterred, desperate to win affection

But looking at you right then, he finally figures it out—that that’s just you

Maybe you do want everyone to like you, but your interactions with everyone have never been shallow

His chest gets tight, and he sets down his pint. He doesn’t intend on finishing it, because his vision is blurring around the edges, and he really wants to remember your conversation

Usually you’d ask him about how his shift went—if Morris was an annoying prick again, but he beats you to it while you’re in the middle of a sip 

“Tell me about your day?”

The surprise coloring your features makes him feel guilty, but he shoves that aside in favor of listening to you talk

He didn’t know you went into the mines as frequently as you did, and he has no idea what the hell a “skull cavern” is, but he hangs on every word

You both walk home together, dropping him off at Marnie’s as you go, and he flops into bed with his head swimming and a dopey smile on his face

He wakes up the next day with a hangover, but he’s off work, and he’s still got the image of your smile tattooed on his brain

“Fuck.”

Y’all he’s so dumb

Harvey

You have this man stressed out from day one, and it takes him longer than the others to realize his feelings—or develop them (longer than Shane, too. Wild isn’t it?)

He’s a little impressed with your complete lack of anxiety about most things

He’s been the valley doctor for years now, but he still doesn’t have a very personal relationship with most of the townies

But you moved in three months ago and you’re already on your way to being besties with half of the town

The only thing he’s not sure about is your apparent lack of self-preservation instincts

You’ve passed out in every part of the valley at least once, and he’s treated several broken bones and serious injuries of yours by the time summer rolls around

he’s worried about you—as the valley doctor, he practically holds everyone’s lives in his hands, and there are patients that he’s lost in the past and can’t forget about

So making sure everyone is taking care of themselves is already nerve-wracking enough without throwing someone like you in the mix

You, who can’t go one week without some incident happening

He’s started up a tentative friendship with Marlon up at the guild, if only for the many times he’s carried you down to the clinic with varying level of injuries littering your skin

But you’re aware of the stress you bring him, and over time, you start improving

You get better at defending yourself in the mines, and he hasn’t found you passed out in front of someone’s porch in at least two months

That doesn’t sound like a long time, but given your track record, it’s impressive

And you’ve made a habit out of bringing him a coffee twice a week as a silent apology/thank you

He appreciates the caffeine, and your efforts to not stress him out

And during your check-up, he’s surprised to find that you’re actually—all things considered—pretty healthy

You bashfully admit that you’ve been trying to take better care of yourself so he doesn’t have to worry, and even though there’s no way he won’t worry, he appreciates it nonetheless

He properly realizes his feelings when you watch the plane fly overhead together

You’ve got your head poked out his apartment window, trying to catch a glimpse of the plane

He’s watching you carefully, making sure you don’t lean too far out, when it hits him

He’s not sure why, but you’ve got the sun shining on your face as you squint through your fingers to look at the sky, and the smile on your face when you spot the plane is brilliant

His breath leaves him in a silent gasp, and he doesn’t really care that he doesn’t get to take a good look at the plane, because he’d rather look at you

Over-explains his model planes to keep you around longer, but thinks about it for days afterward

Can’t stop thinking about how you looked, listening to him talk with your full attention

He doesn’t have many friends, and no one has ever shown a real and true interest in his hobbies—most people have found him dorky for it, but not you

He can tell the model of a plane based on the shadow of it in the sky and the sound of its motor, and you never fail to point one out and ask him which one it is

The glee on your face when he picks it out easily will never fail to make him smile

For what feels like the first time in his life, he can impress someone

His family is full of successful people: lawyers, musicians, a few unsavory cousins of his have turned to politics, and there’s more than a few pilots as well. Him being a doctor was never impressive to the people around him growing up—it was expected

He didn’t get much praise, forever overshadowed by everyone else in his family

Fake praise grinds his gears, but he knows it’s never anything but the truth when it comes from you

And the fact that it comes from you, who took up the mantle of your grandfather and turned the farm around from its steady decay and deterioration with your bare hands?

His confidence always jumps a level or two when you compliment him, because if you like him and think he’s cool, then he must be, you know?

A few weeks later, when he sees you standing outside the clinic through the window, he’s a little confused

He’s pretty sure you’ve already given him his caffeine for the week, but when he walks out to ask you what’s up, he sees the bouquet in your hands

He’s your doctor, and because he’s your doctor, he knows the blush on your cheeks and the scattered eye contact isn’t indicative of anything but nerves

You’re both practically steaming with how hard you’re blushing, and he gently takes the bouquet out of your hands

He doesn’t mind that he didn’t get to be a pilot. If he had, he doesn’t think he would’ve met you, and with the scent of flowers in his nose and your image etched into his memory, there’s nothing he’d hate more aw you guys are so cute

[mdhwrites]

The Owl House Fans Don’t Know What Colonies Are

So this isn’t actually me firing shots at the show. This is about the meta commentary people like to use to elevate the show and it’s one of the most laughable to me. That it’s some grand, anti-colonial story because Belos is a colonizer and Luz stands up for indigenous people as one of them! I’ll get into the colony side of it but on a basic level, it needs to be pointed out that Belos is an American, not British. The closest he could be is one of those sent out to colonize for Britain but he was literally too young to have been a part of that decision when it happened if that were the case and those who colonized America... were treated as part of a colony to Britain. So literally he was a part of the oppressed or he’s post The War for Independence and America was never a colonial power, ESPECIALLY NOT BACK THEN.

Secondly... Just because Luz isn’t white doesn’t mean she can’t technically fall into the white savior trope. The point of that trope is just to talk about how much it sucks when an outsider comes in, makes everything better and fixes all the problems. Luz still ostensibly does that while not being a part of the culture or using the culture and its people in order to save them. Her glyphs are unknown to everyone except LITERALLY THE GROUND THEIR STANDING ON. So... Yeah, she’s not some inspirational story against colonizers. I think you’d have to write a VERY different sort of story for an isekai to be anti-colonial like that frankly. Oh, and we can’t forget that she’s literally blessed by a god because she has a viewpoint to their son that’s different from the rest of the Isles, the indigenous people, and is then empowered to go kill the ruler, who ostensibly the people approve of and chose to be there, regardless of the lies to why, because she does not believe in his methods or beliefs.

Which, you know, for either anti-colonial messaging or anti-Christian Fundamentalism is kind of yikes.

But neither of these matter because The Boiling Isles is NOT a colony. Not even close. The definition that the fans use to say it’s a colony, ruled by an outsider effectively, would have made RUSSIA a colony to Germany while Catherine the Great was ruling it purely because Catherine was a German. If that does not immediately make you cringe, you need to listen.

So as far as how they are ruled, what are the Isles? Well, I bring up Catherine not just because of the pointed joke. See, her husband also wasn’t Russian. He was a German as well but adopted by Elizabeth of Russia. When he became Tsar, everyone hated him and his policies, especially military policies, so much that they overthrew him and chose Catherine.

That’s effectively what the Isles is. They chose Belos as their ruler. Yes, they were deceived as to why he should rule them but they did choose it eventually. As far as we understand, he wasn’t a conqueror and he wasn’t even a part of a coup like Catherine was. Instead, after terrible deeds and the like, he united the Isles under his coven system, brought an end to an age and moved on with his life. His policies, besides magic, are even progressive in some ways because apparently children had no protection before Belos and then he added child endangerment laws. He ostensibly made the Isles a safer place with his guards who could respond to monster faster. The EC in fact, from the fact that they don’t do anything actually evil, especially compared to the populace, until almost S2′s finale with Labyrinth Runners (And I guess you could include Escaping Palisman but there’s extenuating circumstances there, much like how Eda is petrified for breaking the law. There’s more gray in theory to it.) That’s not how you run a colony... That’s just how you run your nation.

But of course that’s the case because the Boiling Isles literally CAN’T be a colony. See, colonies were made as a part of the concept of the Policy of Austerity. Each nation saw themselves as needing to be self sufficient, able to produce EVERYTHING required for civilization, without foreign aid. As such, colonies weren’t oppressed because of religious doctrine, that was propaganda, but out of necessity to that policy. After all, if your colonies have a real economy, they have less to give back to the mother land. You can’t tax them as much, you can’t regulate their trade as much, you can’t make sure their natural resources are going to you.

This is actually part of why the Puritans are the founders of America. They were annoying to the British so rather than dealing with them, they sent them to this weird, new world so as to bring back resources and get out of their hair. That’s also why Americans were treated maybe not quite as poorly as other colonies but we were still DEFINITELY a colony. We did not govern ourselves. Instead, Britain appointed our leaders and chose our policies. Otherwise, you know, we would have just gotten rid of the ludicrous tax on tea instead of throwing it into the harbor.

And if we want to talk more metaphorically about colonies... What culture did Belos push upon the Isles? Colonies would be made to adopt home cultures because that’s how the home country saw as the best way to rule and the best way to make the colony bend to the will of the homeland. If they act like British people, they will accept British rule more.

Except our one glimpse at the Isles is that they already look like they have the same fashion and architecture and commerce even as a Victorian era man. The architecture of the Isles literally doesn’t change between the past and the modern era, something the show actually does point out itself. Bonesborough as has a lot of the same buildings HUNDREDS of years later, there’s just more of them now.

Worse yet, the Titan is not Belos’ own religion. Ostensibly, it should be the Isles religion but they, reasonably, don’t know the Titan is alive. Belos theoretically doesn’t seem to either? Maybe? It’s inconsistent. But he establishes prisons instead of simply hanging those who do not conform in the present day. If they wanted to lean in on him bringing Puritan culture, there would have been a genuine purge of most of the Isles because of its rampant greed, self interest, art, stories, etc. that the Puritans were just very against because if it wasn’t about God, it died.

Again: The Puritans were so extreme, with such a stick up their ass, the BRITISH kicked them out of their country.

All of that would have hurt the fantasy though, wouldn’t it? It wouldn’t be some effectively idealic fantasy setting. Even the dangers Luz faces aren’t the worst and a real fantasy fan would be sad to see them be gone because then you don’t get that bit of menace that comes from a good fantasy world. More oppression, more change, more shifting to an anti-magic world like Belos theoretically should have been for (remember: He only asks that you join the Coven system. He barely cares what you do with the magic after that) then you lose that part of the isekai fantasy.

It’s actually part of why Belos being a human, his statement of “You think I want conquest” being that he just wants murder, actually makes the show less interesting. Evil emperors are a dime a dozen. Any isekai protagonist would expect to be pointed in their direction and shot off like a rocket. A genuinely complex ruler though who is having to deal with balancing humanity with his religion and his duties as emperor? That would have been a GREAT wake up call to Luz to stop assuming things based on tropes.

Belos would have had to be more of a part of the show and a character in his own right for that. Or for any of this really. We would have to see how Belos contrasts against a member of the Isles more and he really doesn’t. Serving in his own interest? Got plenty of villains like that in the Isles. Not caring about murder or enslavement for his methods? Yep, that’s pretty normal, including Odalia frankly. Lies to get what he wants? I mean, fucking LUZ does that!

But he is the bad guy because he’s the evil emperor and no amount of backstory or supposed meta narrative is going to fix that fundamental, thematic failing.

==========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[dooplissss]

dashboard from tumblr within the supernatural universe

🐿 deansbabygirl Follow

just a reminder that sam and dean the killers and sam and dean the fictional characters use different tags, not going to say this again!!!!

🪓 theimpalar Follow

just a reminder to stop putting your reader x winchester fics in the killers tag, not going to say this again!!!!

🌟 stardustandsunplosions Follow

both of you are sick, people died and their families will never recover from that, how can you 'stan' these sickos?? flower crowns wont wash the blood away!!

🎧 samuletmein

i'm sorry are you saying fictional murder is equal to real murder

🔍 ichecksoyoudonthaveto Follow

actually @sams-left-nipple did some research for a fic and found that some of the victims in the books match up with real cases, including some the police didn't release info on until a decade later. (Source)

🕹 aerodraconic Follow

(1,439 notes)

👁 bobbys-boobys

dean was 26 when he picked sam up from college? he should have been at the cluuub

🚗 lore-freak Follow

this sounds like an 'and everyone clapped' thing but my friend swears up and down he saw a guy who looked just like dean with a emf at the club he was at once. apparently he offered to buy the guy a drink and he panicked and said some shit about being on the job and booked it out of there. he had the necklace and everything but idk my friend also thinks ghosts are real so

📷 naruto-official Follow

bro i hate to break it to you but ghosts are so fucking real, they killed my uncle

👁 bobbys-boobys

forget all the people saying 26 is too old in the notes, this post belongs to you two now

(13904 notes)

📛 lesbiandean-t4tcas Follow

ok so we all agree somehow the winchester brothers exist in both real life and fiction, but like. what was with the 'bert and ernie' line. like who in real life talks like that

🔱 cas-not-cass Follow

its real it happened to my best friend castiel

🕊 castiel389

When Dean said that to me, he meant the creators do not have full control of the perception the world has on their characters. He didn't mean it in a sort of declaration of love, as many of you assume, but as in 'God is not in control of us, not tonight'. I know his wording isn't always the most precise, but I've learned if you look past his phrases and toward his intentions, that's where you find his true meaning.

Also @cas-not-cass I don't know you but I'm glad you consider me a friend ☺️

🔱 cas-not-cass Follow

castiel??????

(5894 notes)

[chaosbeetlefrontiers]

We need to talk about ghosttothefuture

cw/tw: stalking, racism, abuse

In the past I’ve talked about situations where I saw myself as a victim and blamed the people who rejected me because of my own behavior. In the present we’re doing something different.

This is a user named Ghost to the Future. Throughout the post I will be referring to him as Alex.

Since August of 2023, Alex and I have been friends as we shared a lot of Intergang ideas and later I would eventually help him overcome his insecurities and irl issues… or so I thought. Since Valentine’s Day, I stuck by him and tried to help him on a journey of improvement as he confessed to me that he was jealous of me talking to people that I’ve known for 2 years now because he wanted me all to himself when he needed to vent. I’ve tried multiple things such as exercises where he couldn’t DM me, cracked down on limiting the venting and most of all, trying to get him a therapist. I even talked to my own therapist and school about how I can get him the help he needed. It wasn’t just “get him a therapist so he could stop venting to someone who wasn’t qualified to handle it,” he actively hurt and pushed away my friends when they tried to help him themselves. For the sake of their privacy I will be censoring the names of my friends.

But eventually he told me that he’d get a therapist and during those weeks he told me about talking to him and even shared me advice that the therapist gave him and I thought we were on the right track. Then on March 26th, 2024, he confessed that he lied about it.

He admitted to lying about it and told everyone that he was toxic and manipulative. Minutes after this I blocked him and told him that someday we’d be able to talk again. Hopefully we could move on.

Then the day after he started spamming my email after I refunded him for a commission I never got to. He told me that he was getting help but he also asked me to unblock him and told me that I was the only person he hurt. We’ll be getting back to that in a bit. Make of these what you will.

To add insult to injury, he started stalking my Tumblr yesterday when he commented on one of my posts after I blocked him on Discord.

We’ll get back to the stalker part at the end because it is truly fucked but for now let’s tear into how he’s hurt my friends! Not all of this will be complimented by screenshots but I’ve talked with people and can confirm that all of this has happened, if you want evidence of it I’ll see what I can do.

He has constantly pushed my friends away after they have tried helping him out.

He has lied about watching certain media multiple times, my friends managed to prove this has he lied about watching a show that didn’t even air yet. Most of the time he fails to elaborate on why he loves a piece of art if he hasn’t experienced it or he’ll just sheep other people.

Back in December he complained to me about two of my friends making fun of him only to find out that they were just joking with each other and Alex made a big deal out of nothing.

After trying to set boundaries Alex kept on using the excuse that “we’re equals.”

He harassed one of my friends in DMs for having a Hazbin Hotel pfp at the time.

He makes fun of other people and their interests yet infamously can’t take any jokes towards him at all.

He tried instigating hate in me against my friends when they watched MAWS and didn’t like it.

Has urged and pushed people to do sexual RPs in the past even when they were uncomfortable.

He said the N word in my friend group, he is white btw. And when one of my friends talked to him about this Alex only constantly apologized and made excuses for why he said it. I have the screenshot of this, I won’t be sharing it in this post so I won’t violate any policies.

He’s made racist and misogynistic remarks towards people in his friend groups.

Has sexualized people who are younger than him.

This is only scratching the surface of what he’s done to people online as apparently he has a history of changing his username after being rejected from fandoms, one of which included the Owl House and he used it as a crutch to excuse a lot of his behavior. Online, he’s dangerous and a chameleon but learning about his irl activity he’s even worse. I won’t go too in depth there but needless to say he insults his friends, is violent towards other kids in his school and has caused a lot of toxic relationships.

And ultimately we get to why I decided to make this post. I told Alex’s friend (who is one of the nicest people I’ve met btw) that if Alex contacted me again then I would call him out. And since yesterday, Alex has not contacted me again… but he tried to. How? By using his friend’s email to message me. The attempt failed but I was alerted of this and furious. Originally I said that I think Alex can improve but he’ll have to do it without me. Now he’s killed his chances. Everything I covered here only scratches the surface of what he’s pulled but in short: cut contact with him for your own safety. If he tries joining more fandoms under this name or a new name, use this post for reference and stop him before he can do more damage. Right now, Alex is a toxic and manipulative person and shouldn’t be in a lot of these public spaces especially when he’s admitted that he is DANGEROUS. Currently his main fandom is My Adventures with Superman so I will be tagging that to get the word out. Please reblog as much as you can to get the word out and let people know about this individual before he gets to them as well. If you’re reading this Alex, you’ve hurt me and too many people for me to just let this slide and if you try contacting me and my friends again, hope you enjoy whatever stupid prizes you get in the future.

Until next time, I wish you guys luck. Stay safe, people.

[darkstarofchaos]

Let's get uhh...constructicons/Prowl (for the ask thingy)

Don't ship it.

Why don’t you ship it?

The biggest reason is that nothing about the situation was healthy for Prowl. Not only did he become part of Devastator in the most traumatic way possible, but the time afterward was physically and psychologically harmful for him as well. Outside of that, there just isn't much for me to ship there? Prowl sees the Constructicons as a weapon and the Constructicons are just fanboys (up until the narrative decides Prowl needs to be utterly alone and they drop him like a hot potato). The whole situation was incredibly wasted potential.

2. What would have made you like it?

A different writer.

On its own, Prowl being forced into Devastator isn't a deal breaker for me because the Constructicons weren't the ones responsible. They did decide afterwards that they liked Prowl and wanted to hang with him, but until then, he was never even meant to be part of the team; just a disposable test subject for integrating someone new with an existing combiner. And I do honestly get the appeal of, "You were disposable to them, but not to us". Goodness knows Prowl needs someone in his corner. Heck, I can even get behind the angst of "this situation is physically hurting Prowl, but none of them - including him - want to stop".

So the setup was great. Super unhealthy, but you can do some pretty interesting things with unhealthy. But as they say, the devil's in the details.

See, I like the Constructicons. I do not like the way John Barber writes them as an interchangeable amalgam instead of letting them have some individuality. And I really don't like how he tried to resolve that conflict with earlier portrayals by saying that combining "rots away the individual". I like the idea that the Gestalt mind affects its components, not the idea that it supercedes them. I also don't like Prowl's recent instability being ascribed to the combining process and not, y'know. The traumatic events surrounding it. But we get this explanation from Galvatron, who delivers it alongside lies about Prowl killing Spike's father, so I can ignore it. I can pretend it's just another lie.

What I can't ignore is that Arcee doesn't hear this and think, oh, maybe it's not Prowl's fault he's been so erratic lately. Maybe I should see if he's okay when I get a chance. Nope. She just turns on him completely. Because the post-Dark Cybertron arc is the "let's tear away what little support Prowl still has" arc.

So I don't like how the Constructicons were written, I don't like the in-universe explanation for how they were written, and I hate the way everyone saw Prowl falling apart (including people who dared to call him a friend, Optimus), and just went, eh, I don't really care. He's just bad. And then, just to make sure Prowl loses everyone, the Constructicons turn on him too. Because apparently they can spend time in his head and like what they see, but it's still somehow a surprise that the mech who tolerated them because they were useful might not actually want them the way they want him.

Get these mechs a different writer.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

As I mentioned above, the setup is great. It had a lot of potential, not just in terms of the relationship, but for character development, worldbuilding, and even the introduction of something like chronic illness with Prowl's physical health being affected by combining (again, he was introduced to the team as an experiment in adding bots to a combiner. It would make perfect sense if it wasn't an entirely successful experiment).

I also like a lot of the art and fics I've seen for them, even if most people seem to ignore the inherent angst in favor of sweet, funny, and fluffy pieces. I just wish more people dived into the physical and psychological impacts, whether in a shippy way or not.

[aprilias]

just got into the fandom side of motogp, was wondering what's your beef w miller? me and my dad don't like him bc of like vibes but I saw your stats post (fucking incredible job dude truly inspiring level of hating, like casey stoner would be proud) but what did he say or do that motivated this??

Again amazing jobs on the stats, my dad rlly appreciated data proving why miller sucks

Hi Anon!

Haha thank you so much! Honestly that post was inspired by having nothing better to do and an entire year’s grudge after some of his comments, and also the feeling that some of my faves stuck on terrible bikes would do a better job on KTM.

Now I wanna say that I have met Jack Miller and in person he does come across as a very nice guy, so as a person I don’t have an issue with him, it’s more as a rider, in the sense that he’s had the machinery to get better results than he has, and just hasn’t done it. He’s also been in the premier class for 9 years and still hasn’t grasped the concept of tyre management, which is so frustrating especially when he’s meant to challenge other riders I dislike out front lmao.

That being said there have been a few issues with some things he’s said off track in the past.

The comments I personally have an issue with are ‘borderline’ misogynistic comments - if I remember rightly when I first started watching MotoGP, he made a comment comparing his bike being temperamental to a girl on her period (something his teammate at the time had done before too), I can’t find the receipts though so I could be confusing him with someone else on that one.

There was also the jumping to defend Pecco when they were Ducati teammates in 2022 after Pecco’s drink-driving incident. Ducati actually blacklisted journalists who tried to ask Pecco about it and in the pre-weekend or post-quali conference (not sure which) Jack basically shut down any question on the DUI from journalists on Pecco’s behalf. It doesn’t sit well with me because

1.) I would like to know from our eventual double world champion why he thinks its acceptable to do that and also face zero repercussions for it.

2.) because if Miller is that strong on someone not being questioned about a DUI and doesn’t think it’s a big deal for the current face of MotoGP to be doing that, then it raises some red flags about Jack tbh.

He also seems to have a massive agenda against Marc Marquez. As I mentioned in the stats post, he ranted about Marc (and Fabio) complaining about his bike, and called him a princess for explaining how bad the Honda was, which wasn’t an exaggeration it was (and still is) clear for everyone to see how bad that bike is. I’ve read while looking for the comments that I mentioned above that apparently he’s also spoken about the Marquez clan “running the paddock” and allegedly refused a handshake from Alex Marquez at Valencia in 2015, which I didn’t know about but it feels like one-sided unwarranted beef against an entire family.

But yeah that’s basically all. He has a very abrasive personality which I suppose you can like or dislike, but personally it’s not for me. I also just think in comparison to what others could do on that KTM, he just doesn’t deserve to be on this grid.

Sorry for the long post but there’s quite a few things that came to mind while writing so hopefully this is helpful!!

[nikethestatue]

this fandom might actually be the worst one I’ve seen!! I flip through a bunch of diff ship accounts bc listen, ship whoever you want, personally I am partial to elucien but I can admit there’s a lot of evidence for other ships as well. I like seeing all art for ALL the ships!! But then today I see a post about how we need Gwyn’s book because she is a victim of SA and it would be great to read a book about her healing journey.

Idk maybe it’s just me but I get annoyed when someone is always reduced down to their SA so I pointed out that Rhys & Lucien also had SA trauma and there has been no healing journey for them?? How are we going to fill an entire book for Gwyn?? Like, Sarah doesn’t seem to delve too much into healing journeys from SA (in ACOTAR at least 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk about other series) and tends to use it as a plot point to create a traumatic background character. It’s something that greatly annoys me tbh

And then I got yelled at?? And told to read the books again?? Like yes, I am a new reader, and yes it was a Gwyn Stan account (didn’t know that at the time, I literally just replied for the first time from a post I saw on my for you feed) - but nothing I said was anti-Gwyn (how could it be- she’s one of my favs too???) ?? I vaguely know there’s whatever ship war going on but I didn’t even comment on a ship post and I didn’t mention any other names/ships so I was genuinely confused about why I got yelled at on a post that only mentioned Gwyn.

All I said was I doubt Sarah is going to write an entire book about Gwyn’s healing journey ? It wasn’t even ship related so why did I get so much hate?? no wonder this fandom is filled with such toxicity, nobody new is allowed to join even casually unless they earn their masters degree of 16000 pages of analysis (apparently reading the books isnt enough?) and so it’s just filled with the same bitter people since whenever these books came out

Maybe bc I acknowledged I didn’t see her as a main character - because she’s not? She’s very much a side character but who cares? She’s still a favorite of mine? Two things can be possible at once, people!!!

Anyways, tldr I got a slap on the wrist and told I don’t know SJM if I think Gwyn is a side character and I’m just like ok I didn’t say she couldn’t be one later but based on the one book she is in… she is a side character?

I hate this mf fandom I should’ve stayed out of it. What did I even do?? I even apologized if anything I said about Rhys or Lucien was untrue?? And now I’m just annoyed because I should still be able to debate theories about my favorite books with people even if I don’t spend 24/7 reading PowerPoints on ship wars??

They got mad because you were right. That's it.

SJM doesn't write post-SA healing journeys. Again, you were right.

We've had male and female characters who were SAed, in TOG, Lysandra and Fenrys come to mind, in ACOTAR it's Rhys and Lucien and Gwyn, in CC it was Lidia (similar situation as Rhys/Lucien).

These aren't books for deep exploration of post-SA healing. I am sorry. This is an incredibly tough subject, without a singular answer. SO anything she'd do, wouldn't be taken well. Some will say 'too quick!' others will say 'not quick enough!' and everyone will have an opinion. The only reason Nesta got an extended healing (and not from SA) was because SJM used the same methods she used for her own issues. Working out, meditation, being with friends, balancing the physical and the mental, relying on her SO. Beyond that, all of SJMs 'healing' is training and being in love. Or nothing at all.

Gwynriels cant accept the fact that Gwyn is a secondary character. She is not more important than Emerie, or Mor, or anyone else, who's had terrible trauma. Her main was Nesta. Nesta's healed and Gwyn is secondary to Nesta. Gwyn's healing journey is over. She because stronger mentally and physically, she trained, she reached and conquered her 'mountain'. and that is all she needed to do.

They dont want to understand and accept that no one is interested in an 800 page of Gwyn's post-SA healing journey. Even they aren't. That's the truth. They want her with Azriel. Getting it on, having sex, being mated. They don't want to read any 'healing journey'. They want her going on missions, swinging her sword, being a badass, being with Azriel, having Gwynriel sex and having a normal fantasy heroine book. it's all performative. They just want Gwynriel. Is all.

[revlischarm]

Behold, Morro for season 4 in the Lego Monkie Kid au!!

Below the cut I’ve put some details about the season, as well as their design.

• So, Morro gets trapped in the scroll along with everyone else!! Inspired by what one of my friends on discord mentioned, apparently the scrolls work for all memories, not just for recording JTTW stuff.

• Therefore. We’re gonna get some Morro trauma. Since the scroll can put you in the worst memories you had/in some kind of past life, I thought, “what better than to hurl Morro back into his misdeeds as a ghost?”

- That’s why when Morro’s in the scroll, he’s gonna be walking around in his old gi from the show. I didn’t give him a cloak or anything for the sole reason of me having a hard time drawing it

• Boy oh boy Morro absolutely hates having to be dressed in the robes of his past. He’s been trying to move away from what he did, to forge his own identity and life. Yet now he gets put right back where he was, at the peak of his darkest times, and MK and Mei end up bearing witness to it, no less!

• Long story short Morro just. Is going to be miserable this whole season. Their past got dredged up in such a messy way for all to see.

• I don’t wanna give away too much since this post is mainly just for Morro’s season 4 design, hehe.

• You want more info?? Send in asks! I will devour them and answer back dutifully.

• Now onto design talk, tw for some blood stains and detailed description of death for a bit

• The only details I’ll really say for Morro’s scroll design are that his outfit is fairly burnt and torn up in many places, due to how he died. Well, more so the condition his clothes were in when he passed away.

- The front of Morro’s gi is stained with dried blood because of how he died, which I personally believe to be due to the kethanol gas in the Caves of Despair. There’s more info about it on the wiki, but the effects I’ve given to it basically are that prolonged exposure will cause someone to bleed out, with blood coming from the nose and mouth and the eventual exsanguination is the cause of death. So yeah, you just. Drown in your own blood, can’t get enough actual air and asphyxiate, bleed out, etc. The gas can kill you in a number of ways I’d say

• Moving past all that…Morro gets longer ribbons now!! He added on a new ribbon, since he bonded with Red Son at the end of Season 3, and off-screen between the last season and this one, lol. Think of their friendship as…fanning the flames. They kinda just hype each other up and it’s very chaotic.

• Morro actually trains with Macaque to learn some shadow magic!! They’re super interested in learning teleportation via shadows because it’s cool as hell, and they just generally like to spend time with Macaque. After some time, Morro finds that his eye markings are getting kinda…larger and discolored.

- Surprise the universe/gods saw Macaque taking in Morro and went “oh successor??? The Six-Eared Macaque has a successor??” And long story short, after an initial bout of extreme panicking, Morro realizes that he’s now got some cooler new markings!!

- Yes, I’m contractually obligated to change Morro’s eye markings with each new design at this point, lay off me

- I’m very happy with this marking design tho!! It looks very nice and is easy for me to draw. The markings actually manifest themselves in the way of like…scar stuff. And I tried to have them resemble Morro’s actual cursed markings as much as I could, but it was hard to do that when it kept veering into flame territory (which I wasn’t aiming for). So yeah!

- I also added a little chart at the bottom to demonstrate the differences between the markings and also how Macaque’s and Morro’s purples are different. Mac’s is more on the blue hued scale, while Morro’s has more pink tones to it. There!

• And last but not least, the tail(s) of Morro’s sash got longer!! I did this for the purpose of giving their silhouette a more monkey-like appearance, with the longer sash acting as a sort of faux shadow tail. This works great for any silhouette shots!

• So yeah! That’s that! Feel free to ask anymore questions, I’ll be glad to answer!!!

• Oh also I forgot to draw it in but you know how everyone else gets a cool weapon during season 4 from the scroll? Yeah, Morro’s taking the memory of the Sword of Sanctuary with him.