#and also vibes for solid poops:(

[shrimp-propaganda]

my landbaby (dog) (as opposed to waterbaby) (shrimp and/or fish) is sick and we are at the vet trying to figure out why :( send us some healthy vibes

[hazelnut-u-out]

EPISODE REVIEW TIMEEE—

(contains spoilers for ‘How Poopy Got His Poop Back’)

Okay, so I wasn’t actually expecting to like this episode? I guess I’ve always found Mr. Poopybutthole a bit annoying— end credits aside, I think I saw him as a relic from a… less savory time. @dirty-bear-rick-sanchez made me reconsider my stance on bringing him back the other day, and OMG do I completely agree now. I like that they’re taking older ‘lazy’ or ‘silly’ aspects of the show and making them much more serious/fleshed out. Anyway, that being said, I really enjoyed it!

(Plus omg, Gene is my new baby girl)

As always, some things that stuck out to me:

- Beth being a protective mother? Who is this?! Happy to see her stepping up more and more.

- Morty is so angsty and cute and grumpy!!!! Reminds me that he’s getting jaded, but the little coffee stunt was cute. Wish we’d seen more of him, though.

- BIRD DAUGHTER AUGH. Angsty queen. I was SOOOO excited to see her. (Also BP drinking wine? A true girldad).

- I do like that they’re approaching BP in a way that shows how similar to Rick he really is. He’s an alcoholic, the father of a defiant rebellious psychopath, and a downright silly little traumatized dude!

- SQUANCHY MY BABIE! My guy is back! Loved the details of the inside of his house! Kinky lil cat!

- LOL, Rick is so pissy about the Gene and Hugh thing. Love when he’s a petty dude.

- I laughed so hard when they were all tripping. Seeing Birdperson be such a ridiculous character and vibing so well with Squanchy was so funny and nice? Poor Squanchy with his paw, though :(

- It actually made me really emotional to see Poopy Jr. so confused and scared. (Plus that little guy is too cute omg)

- BEST BUDDIES BURRITO BOX 🥺 Justice for Gene!

Anyway, strong opening! Just heavy enough, lots of fun, plus some cool exploration of Rick’s dynamic with his rebel buddies. I thought it was cool to acknowledge that the whole friend group has a drinking problem. I liked the detail that, once again, Rick tried to do the right thing and got shamed into helping someone do something preeeetty shitty. I know it’s because it’s hard to trust that he’s not being shitty because of his past behavior, but if some people don’t start trusting him, this could get pretty regressive again.

Totally wasn’t going feral for BP for like 75% of the episode lmao.

Solid 8/10! Hope we get more Morty soon!

Ofc, I’ll post more soon. This is just my first watch impression, as always. Who knows? I might change my mind! :)

[cheapcheapfaker]

-It’s 110% true that it’s different when it’s your own. I was an only child who did not like being around my little cousins as babies. I still don’t really care about other babies? Mine has impeccable vibes.

-I thought I’d hate the newborn stage but I actually love it. He’s just a little bean who naps on me. I’m obsessed. He is entirely a little creature. I now get why people have multiple newborns and then neglect their children as soon as they get older this is such a sweet stage. He Is This:

-it also 110% helps we have what is known as a unicorn baby. whenever he cries it’s for a know reason (mostly hungry this boy EATS) and he’s easy to soothe and sleeps every and anywhere

-as a gross person especially baby farts are HILARIOUS. He has these massive thunder farts. He burped so loud yesterday I thought he exploded. His poop looks like a fancy whole grain mustard. I love making up silly songs about the poop on his balls

-waking up at 3am/ multiple times a night is surprisingly easier than expected cause I just want to make him stop crying. (But not in a frustrated way but in a ‘im sorry you’re hungry lemme help’ way?) I’m tired but not too much and haven’t even upped my caffeine intake from pregnancy.

-actually I’d argue pregnancy is the ultimate infant pregame because no matter what kind of sleep I’m getting I’m not waking up ten times a night to piss a thimble and the melon headed monster isn’t eating my blood. Pregnancy exhaustion is uniquely all encompassing and terrible. Even recovering from my guts being rearranged on oxy I felt better because I just wasn’t damn pregnant anymore. And I had a relatively uneventful easy one!! being pregnant sucks!

-caveat: I am breastfeeding and boob is cheat code. Baby sad? Boob time. No bottle washing, no formula mixing, just pop that sucker on there. I was also told by multiple nurses I have “perfect breast feeding nipples” which is one of the weirder compliments I’ve ever gotten but I’ll take it

-I’ve also had no problem breastfeeding (bc of my perfect nipples. ofc.) and it’s so weirdly… nice? I love waking up early and watching bean do his lil stretch and then he just nurses as I hold him. I wasn’t sure if I’d hate it or what but it’s a v calming bonding experienfe

-when he’s hungry he “roots” which means mouth open he goes harrrgarrblwarbl and shakes his head back and forth like a dog. Sometimes a forceful head thrust. Love when he tries to find a nipple on your neck 😭 it’s adorable.

-technically you are not supposed to kiss your baby and I think by this point I have had his entire head in my mouth.

- you catch on so quick on how to diaper change. Same w burping or holding. I could count on one hand how many babies I held before the Bean. They’re sturdier than you think

-EXCEPT the soft spots on the back of their head like a moldy peach I fear every time I touch where the plates have yet to connect my finger will go thru. It’s so gross. Disgostan why do you not have a solid noggin bean

-the umbilical cord stump is a mass of rotting flesh and I lovingly call it his smelly button.

-huge caveat to all this: he’s a healthy baby who sleeps well and breastfeeds like a champ. I also have an equal attentive partner. I don’t know how people decide to do this solo it sounds unpleasant and ultimately stupid unless possibly there’s a village of grandparents/ others living w you willing to take on that responsibility. If you have a deadbeat partner or no village abort that thang.

[apple-pecan]

Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore (2024)

one day in 2007, while curious about the horrible zelda cd-i games, i searched for them on youtube and found a bunch of strange videos that for some reason, had me in tears laughing. this was my introduction to the world of youtube poops, and i couldnt get enough of them. watching them made me even more curious about these games though... what were they like to play?

in a word: BAD. these games are trainwrecks through and through, that are only salvageable though the unintentionally funny cutscenes. the worst part is, if these games had actual time and effort put into them, they COULD'VE been pretty good. they're basically spiritual successors to zelda 2, a game that, while flawed, i thought was pretty cool and interesting. a side scrolling action rpg/platformer in the usual zelda formula? i wonder why they never attempted anything like it again, even with the dozens of zelda spinoffs there are now...

and that leads us to this: an indie platformer/metroidvania deliberately trying to be like the zelda cd-i games, but, you know... actually good this time. did it succeed? hell yeah it did.

if anything, i'd compare this game more to monster world 4 or popful mail, mixed with a zelda or metroid game. you go along levels, helping unhinged NPCs and collecting various items that'll help you, like being able to double jump, shield yourself from projectiles, and even a fucking gun. once you find the right item for the job, you often have to go back to previously played levels to find places to use them.

they make this a bit less like a guessing game, as often an "!" will appear over a level in the world map if theres something new you can do there, but there is a bit of a problem; every time you go back to a level, you have to start from the beginning. there's no warp points where you can just go to the middle or the end; you HAVE to play through the whole level again. if your prudent about collecting items, this doesn't usually become a problem, but in my case during a later stage, i needed 3 sacred candles to open a boss gate, and only had 2. so i had to leave the level, find one more candle in another area, and then go ALL the way back through the level just to open that gate. it's a hard level too, so it took me a while to get where i was. stuff like that aside, the game is pretty solid and is proof that the zelda cd-i games could've actually been fun in more capable hands.

aesthetically, the music is also very good; emulating the kind of stuff you'd hear in 80's/early 90's cd games. i definitely got Ys vibes from some of the tracks, which is obviously a good thing. the cutscenes are deliberately deranged and uncomfortable, with wildly inconsistent art styles. there was one cutscene where it was blatantly rotoscoped and everyone animated really bizarrely and it really got under my skin. it's perfect.

the characters you meet are also very funny; there's a frog voiced by vinny vinesauce who wants "FINE DINING", and by that he means flies dipped in gold. the first boss is a horse who can't stop accidentally making horse puns, much to his dismay. there's a really fast little character who gives you shoes that increase your movement speed, saying "GOTTA GO FAST!" and then runs so fast he accidentally opens a portal to the ninth dimension and gets sucked inside. most of all though, there's a buff moose who forges you the ultimate weapon, but not before doing this game's version of the sideshow bob rake scene and hammers away on an anvil for nearly a whole entire minute before the sword is finished as arzette is bored out of her mind. to really hammer it in (hehe :3), this is the only cutscene in the game you can't skip. it's all really funny and worth playing just for these wacky cutscenes.

one thing i didn't expect was for the game to eventually have a bit more down to earth, serious narrative, complete with a character death that caught me by surprise. a theme of the game is to break the traditions we've known for ages and try to find newer, better ways to do things; don't just throw a book (that's made to orrrrderrrrr) at the evil bad guy and call it a day, cuz someday, he's just gonna escape and come back again. what if you found a way to vanquish the ultimate evil for GOOD? the ending was surprisingly sentimental for a wacky cd-i youtube poop game. one cutscene showing the defeat of a particularly irredeemably evil boss was also pretty cathartic; i'll let you watch that for yourself.

in short, this is a short but sweet little platformer that pays homage to a pair of the worst games ever made, but actually does things right this time. it's a parody of bad cd-i games sure, but in a way it also feels sincere, like an actual tribute to games that are so awful they're amazing. i'm very much excited at the prospect of a potential sequel, cuz this game was great and could be even better with some improvments, and i wanna see more of these characters and their unhinged shenanigans again. needless to say, dopply... YOU WON!

8/10

NOTE: there is an i.m. meen lookalike who works in a library. immediate game of the year

[mincedpeaches]

this is a post about south park in the year of our lord 2022

general notes (aka I watched this shit when I was a teen and its grandfathered in and I don’t have to explain myself to anybody):

Listen okay listen I understand the appeal of Stan/Kyle I FULLY understand the appeal. but I’m a Kyle/Cartman girl through and through. I’m sorry OKAY I’m sorry. The good thing about this though is I have absolutely no expectations of it ever happening and it would be bad if it did so I can have fun you know.

It’s jokes and comedy and a piece of poop talks yes but its also about the characters and them being dumb kids and sometimes character moments come through. DID YOU WATCH THE LANDSLIDE EPISODE WHEN YOU WERE A TEEN? DID YOU?? If not don’t talk to me. 

The episode where Kenny died for real too. PEAK emotional dramedy my dude. 

This video (timestamped 12:06 but the whole thing is good)

post covid special notes (aka what got me thinking about south park in the year of our lord 2022):

The special being in the future where none of them are friends and the regrets. That what its about actually.

The way Craig & Tweek showed up there together but they couldn’t do  the solid of having them like, hold hands or some shit so it was #confirmed

Why did they have to make Kyle so handsome. Like. Notably so. 

Also Kyle definitely gave off some gay man vibes. Not being single and handsome in South Park at forty-whatever... 

The way Cartman being Jewish WASN’T a bit.

Future Stan Kyle & Cartman just sitting on a BENCH like damn we can’t stop covid, now what, and then the solution is to get their past selves to be friends again. It hits okay. They’re CHILDREN Brent. 

Very intrigued by the concept of Kenny/Butters now like in my incredibily brief forey into fanfic years ago but also years after I’d stopped watching the show I had assumed it was very much a pair the spares situation especially since Kenny’s character back in the day was mostly being the Horny for Titties one. But the fact that they stayed working together the whole time in the covid special? Is there something I missed the last decade maybe. 

I DID feel bad for Cartman at the end even though that probably wasn’t the point. But I did feel bad. The show got the gang back together as kids only to break them up again. :(

the fractured but whole notes (aka I bought this game and played it to get more south park content in my life without actually watching more eps or *shudders* reading fic)

The yaoi art had exactly two people credited for it in the end game credits. Their RANGE. One of them turns up nothing conclusive on google but the other worked on DC and Marvel comics and shit. 

Yaoi Art aside the way that Creek is STILL like the most respectful that I know of a show being about fangirl shipping, like they’re actual BOYFRIENDS and have a whole ass sideplot and everything. Fucking CRAIG AND TWEEK from fucking SOUTH PARK the most respectful I am SO

Shout out to Captain Diabetes being the best fighting roster character in the game. Now I do actually know who you are from the covid special. 

The game was funny and good actually. 

The shuddering up there was a lie. I already read a fic. It wasn’t very good but here I am. 

[holy-mountaineering]

This spread is for @mirronx Thank you, as always!

Here’s the full Qabalistic Tree of Life Spread that I do. What I’m going to do is go through and briefly explain each card, its position on the Tree, and then I’ll give you a summary/synopsis of the spread as a whole. You know the routine.

Think of this spread as a sort of quantum map, or even the land of a regular map, everything is happening at once, in each place. It’s important to think of yourself as moving “through” the map but you are also simultaneously everywhere at once. For the sake of this specific experiment, think of this as a map. Maybe as a person, the Qabalistic Adam Kadmon.

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have XV The Devil OR The Lord of the Gates of Matter, Ayin, Capricorn. 

The Goat-Fish who is half in the mountains and half in the deeps of the oceans, high places and the deep. This guy gets a REALLY bad rap that is very unwarranted. All The Devil is trying to do is Incarnate or materialize by Higher methods.

The card is a giant cock with faceless little white people in the balls looking like they want out, again, possibility is trying to take hold and become a physical thing. The Devil IS a trickster (“you little devil” and assorted shit sayings like that) so that worries some people. Those people are squares and probably have bad taste in music.

Manifest your potential and figure it out when it’s “real” and not just a passing thought or whim.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of  your hometown is the 6 of Cups, Pleasure. 

For reasons, I call this the plumbing card. The water is not flowing freely as though it is pouring, it has been pumped through a series of tubes intricately woven together to fill the cups placed in the shape of a hexagram. Emotion and connectedness to life are intentionally being directed by unseen but invited forces. Someone who wasn’t looking closely could see nothing but knots and chaos and even wonder how the damn thing worked in the first place. Those people are squares and should be avoided at all costs. 

Do what gives you pleasure that also instills clarity. Center on the best you can feel even if onlookers can’t appreciate what you’re doing connoisseurs (and you) will dig it.

In Binah, which is ruled by Saturn and for the sake of this reading we will call the first stop on your roadtrip. You haven’t really arrived anywhere but you’re stopping and getting a chance to repack your car in a more efficient way. Sitting in Binah is the 10 of Cups, Satiety. 

This is the emotional peak experience. This peak is a feeling of a connection, a filling up with life’s water and flowing out to all other life. Intuition is raised here if you look from your mountain top where your perspective is different. The accumulated force of the suit of water is forcing its way forward and down and cutting a path as it goes. Be careful you don’t get too swept up and fall from this height.

You’re coming to a peak emotional/relationship(s with those around you) experience. Enjoy the view but descend carefully.

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is the 5 of Disks, Worry. 

Like all of the 5s in Tarot, this is the microcosmic or human number . Don’t believe me? Stand up, stick your arms and legs out and counting your head, congrats, you’re a pentagram. Lord knows people worry like motherfuckers about how they are going to get by in the “normal” world, so there is a stress and strain in this card that everyone late on a bill can understand. This is the worry that you’ll get your intelligence (Mercury) smothered by the laborious strain of Taurus. This is, like all 5s a human limitation issue. 

Well it won’t unless you only see your limitations and make it happen. Be smarter about you material situation so you don’t have to work harder.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is (another 5) the 5 of Swords, (mental/communication) Defeat. 

Like all 5s this is the microcosmic or human card, if you don’t believe me stand up and stick out your arms and legs, boom, you’re a pentagram. Swords are mind, thought processes, communication and the like, and this is mental growth limited by its mundane focus or dwelling on the limitations of yourself and other individuals. 

Realize your limitations and the limitations of others. You are seriously just a human and so is everyone else. Try to focus your mind on bigger picture things instead of mundane/shitty people, ideas, thoughts, and ways of thinking.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is XVIII The Moon, Pieces, Qoph. 

This is the ‘Sun at midnight where you stand shines on the other side of the world’. The pull of night and day eventually rising, illuminating what was once dark. As opposed to the old Aeon idea of the Sun dying, this is the cyclic motion of the push and pull of the day and night. The dark gives the light context and vis-a-versa.

See the light in the dark, accept the cyclic push and pull, if you don’t like what “time of day it is” in your life I assure you it will change like the tides.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is XXI The Universe, Saturn, Tau.

The Universe is the totality of what we can sense and know. The dance of the Woman with the cosmic serpent and the Eye destroying while everything constantly recreates. We see the Universe only from our position in it. You may send out your satellites to explore unknown areas but you can only process what they might mean from your place. The more we try to take into our restrictive minds and spirits, the more we know about the whole and ourselves and our place in the Universe.

Step back and look at the connections and totality of everything you know and experience. It’s quite a view.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is the YET ANOTHER 5, WHAT’RE YOU A TAURUS??? The 5 of Wands, Strife.

Like all the 5s, this is a microcosmic or human number. It’s also the halfway point between two things. This is the drag when you see how far you’ve come and see that you have the exact same grueling distance to go. Your feet will start to drag. The natural friction of motion becomes very apparent here and it is more annoying and nagging than anything else.

You might be stuck between a rock and a shitty place with what you’re doing, but just truck on, it’s not so bad once you get past where you are and get moving at full speed again.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is the 10 of Disks, Wealth. 

This card is intelligence (Mercury) in fertile possibility (Virgo). This is the peak material situation, a good situation, a situation you really want to be in. 

Be swift and mindful of your material task at hand and your everyday experience, it is nearing its end and you stand to profit.

Put your smarts and your communication skills in the most fertile possibilities and cash in before things start to come down from this peak opportune time.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is the Ace of Disks, the root power of Earth or the material. 

This is the foundation which all your solid structures are and will be built on. This is the very root of your real world/material life situation. While this doesn’t mean you must tear everything down or that there is nothing in your material world that you’ve built, it does mean you must look at the source from which you’ve built your material and everyday world. If you have no foundation you can have no structure. If you have a shoddy foundation, you’ll have a shoddy structure. Look to what things were like  before you began building. Is there sand beneath you? Are you in a swamp, building castles of stone that will bind to the mud and be pulled down much sooner than later? Did you account for the raise in elevation when you laid your foundation? Look down to the base of what you’ve made and what you’ve made it upon.

This is an engineering job, you’ll need tools to measure and level everything out. The occult might not be the best place to find these tools and it is possible that you have issues much more base than you’re willing to cop to. There are many tools you can use to look at your foundation provided in psychology and meditation from other sources. The Universe throws us extreme situations and more often than not, this is the only way people see their basest of instincts and behaviors really act out. If you can, take a look at what connects you and what you’re building to the Earth before an earthquake, tornado, volcano, or other act of G-D forces you to pray everything was fine. Check the strength of your foundations before the strength of your foundations are checked.

Get down to the base fundamentals of what is going on in your material (things, money, living situation, literal stuff) and build from the ground up if you must.

Alright, so, it’s time to make manifest the possibilities, the desires that have gone unspoken, don’t worry about other people’s interpretations of YOU and your wants and needs, there will be those who care to unravel the tangle that is each of us as an individual. You WILL find this, in some way, some how, and that WILL be that big emotional release and connection that you’ve been feeling is around the bend, it’s coming up, fear not!

Seriously, don’t kill your own vibe, or your ability to act when the time arrives by doubt, needless, baseless doubt. Everything is moving for you, or it will be soon rather, and you have to trust that the Sunrise is just over the horizon

And there is a bigger picture here, you’re not only fulfilling your own desires, those longings serve a Greater purpose, do NOT doubt them, or their fulfillment.. And don’t trip yourself up when it doesn’t hit at the time that is most convenient for you. I said it would happen, I didn’t say it wouldn’t be a little messy, but messy is fun. All that being said, you want to bring in those nouns (people places things) that CAN make this happen, the most fertile possibilities  that will be a part of the motion toward this. But, don’t think you’ll be the same, even in the same place when you’re done. You might not physically move, but unleashing desires, longed for moves us… Ever Towards...

Ta Da!

Hit me up with any questions! What a great Reading, I’m really happy for you and I’m excited to hear about your next few months!

-Frater N0VGHT

[superfastvorkee]

@darkofeden tagged me to put my music on shuffle and list the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people ✨ i don’t even think i know 10 people, so i’mma tag whoever comes to mind i guess???

1. Ghost Atlas - Cry Wolf (found them by listening to Erra and highkey fell in love with the soft vocalist, this is that dude’s side project and it’s one of my go tos for winter depression times)

2. Death Cab for Cutie - We Looked Like Giants (Actually one of my all time favourite songs ((and fav band)) so I’m really really happy this one came up. Pretty much can’t listen to any DCFC song without almost crying or full on crying cause I have some weird fuckin memories associated with em)

3. Strawberry Girls - French Ghetto (This band is weird af and I love em)

4. Mutemath - Monument (fun fact - i found out about Mutematch from the first Twilight soundtrack and I saw them live a few years back, they’re super solid and fun)

5. My Chemical Romance - Blood (how can you NOT love some classic MCR?????? 12 year old emo me is screaming)

6. Destiny Potato - Love Song (I only started listening to this band cause of the name, but the female vocalist is rad af)

7. The Narrative - Castling (They remind me so much of DCFC but they only ever released like one tiny EP and that breaks my heart, so much potential)

8. SOB x RBE - Paramedic! (Black! Panther! Soundtrack! Babey!!!!!!!)

9. The Weeknd - I Feel It Coming (I would die for Abel. This album hits from beginning to end and I adore this song)

10. Kayne West - No More Parties in LA (Fuck Kanye, but Life of Pablo had some bangers)

11. TTNG - Badger (Genuinely forgot I ever listened to this band, but they’re still p good)

12. Twenty One Pilots - We Don’t Believe What’s On TV (As much as I don’t like a lot of their new stuff, my fiance and I used to blast TOP and sing along together all the time before we started dating and those memories always warm my heart.)

13. Intervals - Sure Shot (If ya wanna jam out to some most impressive guitar bangers, would recommend)

14. Susan Boyle - Auld Lang Syne (?????????? how tf did this even get in my liked songs??????????????)

15. Chiodos - Love Is a Cat From Hell (lemme tell you something, i used to be OBSESSED with chiodos when i was like 15 but it was only for about 3 months and then i completely forgot about them until last year)

16. Plini - Sweet Nothings (another most impressive guitarist)

17. The Contortionist - Thrive (the album this is from, Language, is one of my all time fav albums and there’s not a single song from this that i don’t absolutely love)

18. Vanna - We Are Nameless (another band i used to listen to ALLLL the time when i was in high school but completely forgot about for a while. they also lost almost the entire original band and i just... don’t vibe with their new shit. old vanna though? still incredible)

19. The Faceless - Hymn of Sanity (man, if michael keene wasn’t such a fucking piece of shit, i would say better things about this because i really loved this song and album, but fuck michael keene

20. Eminem - Nice Guy (when eminem surprised dropped kamikaze? BOOOOOOOY, you know that shit was gonna pop and it absolutely did. i still fuck with this album all the time, an incredible comeback for him)

I tag @mercysheart, @nerd-esquire, @mykola3, and @ugly-button​. sorry if i forgot anyone, i just had school and my brain is poop

[1-5-1-t]

dnkkkjdsfhdsh my god??? Thank you so much @howlingmusketeers for tagging me, I felt like a creep reading your answer before starting writing my own (it didn’t make into my ship section but the way you described Wangxian watered my crops and cleared my skin) and I feel like got some quality drama recs from your answers, thank you for that as well >:) ❤️

Rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better or catch up with, then answer these questions

Three ships: three??? t h r e e ? ? ? ?

Mattfoggy (Daredevil) I just. I love how they work as both platonic and romantic soulmates, it’s so Good. I have mobile bookmark folders for both of those so I can just decide if I want Strict Bro Feels With Zero Sexual Tension Because They’re Bros And Content Being Just Bros or Married Fluff. And they fill one of my favourite ship tropes, Impulsive and Emo + An Actual Personification of Sunshine and Rational Thought, in whichever setting they’re put into so there’s no way for me to lose.

Spirk (Star Trek) So wholesome,,,,, so good,,,,,,, instant serotonin,,,,, like the 2011 version is feral and edgy and pretty much like an unhinged college au and tos is soft and sweet and so deeply in love hfeiwfhwioegriegh i love them 🥺🥺🥺

Tophling (Atla comics) I have no idea where this came from I have more ships than this and Yaling was in one (1) singular comic and they went on one (1) date to a lowkey riot and broke up right there and then bUT!!! l e s b i a n s

Last song: Officially it’s Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin, but I was listening to my umbrella academy playlist while doing… something, I don’t even know what, and it just flowed in the background because I didn’t notice it and haven’t gotten around to removing it from the playlist yet so I feel weird letting it represent my music tastes. So my unofficial but more accurate answer Hadestown, & Juliet or Six :D

Last movie: The Slumdog Millionaire (2008). I saw it the last time when I was maybe 11 and got so much more out of it this time. Yes, we still skipped The Eye Scene™ because :'( But I didn’t run off crying from second-hand embarrassment / sadness when Jamal greeted his life-long idol covered in poop so some progress was made. I’d forgotten what a serve the soundtrack is oh my god Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny) is such a solid vibe

Currently craving: (a time skip to June 2021 when I’m graduated and free from this pain and misery) chimken nuggies

Currently reading: Oh, how I’d love to respond “to my religion and English exams” but alas, it’s Little Zuko v The World by MuffinLance on ao3 and I’m a procrastinating, blubbering fool 💫 thriving 💫

(I don't have nine mutuals to tag jcjcjchd) @timelordy-fangirl2 @i-will-eat-your-kneecaps but if anyone sees this and wants to do it, consider yourself tagged :') ❤️

(also a small disclaimer i felt really quirky writing this at 12pm but now it's closer to nine and I'm more self aware but also too tired to tone it down so. yeah)

[obtusemedia]

Ranking The 1975′s songs, from worst to best

The 1975 are unabashedly political, wildly eclectic in musical style, and masters of striking the perfect balance between strange and accessible. They’re also the most important, and arguably the best, band of the last five years or so.

However, despite their ability to pen generation-defining anthems and incredibly sticky pop hits, The 1975 have a fatal flaw: they overstuff their albums. All of their records, even their most consistent one (2018′s A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships) have at least a couple filler songs. Because of that, and because the Manchester band love to dabble in nearly every musical style on the planet (except hip-hop, which is probably for the best), a song-by-song evaluation is the best way to judge The 1975′s catalog. And with the recent release of their hit-and-miss fourth record, Notes On A Conditional Form, there’s not a better time to do just that.

But first, some ground rules:

1) To make the list, songs had to appear on one of The 1975′s four albums, or their four debut EPs (which I normally wouldn’t count, but they contain many of the band’s essential songs).

2) The 1975 love to include instrumental interludes on their records. I’m not ranking those — Matty Healy has to sing on the track for it to count.

3) The 1975 also begin every album with a self-titled song. Because three of them are variations on the same song, and the fourth is a spoken-word track with climate activist Greta Thunberg, these won’t be on the list either. (For the record, the best version of the song is their second attempt, although I respect the hell out of the Thunberg monologue.)

#69: “Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You” (The 1975, 2013)

The bottom of this list will be mostly comprised of the painfully boring, minimalist ballads that The 1975 used to end their albums with (thankfully, their last two album closers were phenomenal...we’ll get to them much later). One of the most appealing aspects of The 1975 is their bold, in-your-face style. A bland, hookless piano ballad like “Somebody” is the opposite of that. I already forgot how the tune goes.

#68: “Don’t Worry” (Notes On A Conditional Form, 2020)

The backstory behind “Don’t Worry” — lead singer/lyricist Matty Healy’s dad wrote it for his family ages ago, and now Healy’s recording his own version of it — is cute. The actual song, unfortunately, is a treacly mess that sounds like something from Barney & Friends. But if Barney aggressively, and unsuccessfully, tried to ripoff Bon Iver’s autotuned ballads.

#67: “She Lays Down” (I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, 2016)

Postnatal depression is a real issue, and one that should be explored more in song. But The 1975 were clearly not the band to do it, judging by how boring and forgettable “She Lays Down” is.

#66: “Woman” (Facedown EP, 2012)

The band’s first boring closing track, way back on their debut EP! Considering how great Facedown’s other three songs are, this aimless ballad is a major disappointment.

#65: “Bagsy Not In Net” (Notes)

This overly reverb-y nothing of song is a prime example of something that should have been cut from the overlong Notes On A Conditional Form tracklist.

#64: “Playing On My Mind” (Notes)

Speaking of boring late-album songs from Notes that should’ve been left on the cutting room floor! At least this one has a halfway decent melody.

#63: “Surrounded By Heads and Bodies” (A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships, 2018)

The only interesting things about this shuffling ballad are A) the very metal song title that doesn’t match the actual tune at all, and B) Healy sings this song about a woman named Angela. Is this meant to be from the perspective of Dwight Schrute?

#62: “Head.Cars.Bending” (Music For Cars EP, 2013)

Later in their career, The 1975 would excel at off-kilter electronic jams. But “Head.Cars.Bending,” one of the band’s first attempts at that style, proves that it took a lot of practice to perfect that sound, because yikes — this is rough. That lurching beat makes me seasick.

#61: “Nana” (I like it...)

It’s not a track I ever return to, but I’ll admit that “Nana” has a nice melody and is an appropriately reverent and pretty tribute to Healy’s dead grandmother.

#60: “Inside Your Mind” (Brief Inquiry)

The 1975 attempted to blend shoegaze guitars with ‘80s cheeseball power ballads on “Inside Your Mind.” It was a noble attempt! The guitar lick sounds great! But the track sadly stays at one level throughout, so the song never achieves liftoff.

#59: “Talk!” (The 1975)

The 1975′s self-titled debut is an outlier in the band’s discography, as it came before the shameless (and fun!) genre-hopping of their next three records. In contrast, the debut has a very early-’10s, Urban Outfitters-core indie pop-rock sound throughout. On some songs, that sound works really well! But there’s also a glut of mediocre filler tracks that fit that sonic description. The stop-and-start, neck-jerking “Talk!” is one of those filler tracks.

#58: “Yeah I Know” (Notes)

One of the few musical styles that Notes returns to frequently during its runtime is a skittery, repetitive drum-and-bass sound. Although none of these songs are outright bad, they’re mostly not too interesting either. “Yeah I Know” is the worst of the bunch, with annoying chipmunk voice effects and a dreary vibe.

#57: “She Way Out” (The 1975)

"She Way Out,” despite having an opening lyric that calls back to one of The 1975′s very best songs (which we’ll get to much, much later), is just another one of the dime-a-dozen mediocre pop-rock nuggets that flood the tracklist of The 1975′s self-titled debut. The guitar lick is pretty tasty, I guess.

#56: “Pressure” (The 1975)

ƒAnd here’s another one of those pop-rock filler songs! At least this one has a nice shuffling groove. Still, I’ll stick with the charmingly bonkers Billy Joel song of the same name (and its gloriously awful, very early ‘80s music video). 

#55: “The Birthday Party” (Notes)

This folksy ballad tries to jack the style of emo-country act Pinegrove, while Healy makes a half-hearted quip about the unclear acts of “sexual coercion” that the band’s lead singer admitted to. But “The Birthday Part” doesn’t have the concise songwriting or heart-wrenching emotions of “Old Friends.” Instead, it sort of just meanders around for a few minutes. The melody is nice — and I did enjoy Healy’s quip about not being able to poop in a shared hotel room, so he has to sneak to the hotel lobby — but most of the song just feels pointless.

#54: “Anobrain” (Music For Cars EP)

“Anobrain” reminds me a lot of a deep cut from one of my other favorite bands: U2′s “Promenade.” They’re both short, oblique slices of atmosphere and haze that are pretty, but don’t build into something greater. Think of “Anobrain” as a warmup for the superior nocturnal synthpop that The 1975 would pen in later records.

#53: “Undo” (Sex EP, 2012)

“Undo,” an otherwise standard early-era midtempo tune with lots of reverb, gets some bonus points for its smooth, swaying beat and a solid hook.

#52: “Mine” (Brief Inquiry)

When I imagined what “The 1975 does a jazz song” would sound like, I was hoping for something more frantic and bebop-y. “Mine” doesn’t sound like that at all — it’s a loungey slow-dance ballad that’s less Miles Davis and more Cole Porter. But regardless, it’s still an interesting detour. Who said quirky genre excursions were only limited to upbeat songs? Or that they had to be quirky?

#51: “The Ballad Of Me And My Brain” (I like it...)

I love the musical elements of “The Ballad” — the cascading drum fills, the thundering splashes of guitar, the twinkling keyboards, Healy’s delirious vocals. But the actual song itself doesn’t do much for me. Having a song about literally “losing your mind” and your brain is wandering in a grocery store, at a bar, etc. is a cute idea on paper, but it just sounds awkward in execution.

#50: “I Think There’s Something You Should Know” (Notes)

Here’s another of Notes’ repetitive drum-and-bass songs. But at least “I Think...” has a catchy tune and a bit more musical evolution throughout.

#49: “Haunt // Bed” (IV EP, 2013)

“Haunt // Bed” has one thing that distinguishes itself from other middling EP-era 1975 tracks: the pulsating loop that undulates beneath much of the song. It’s an interesting choice, and certainly helps the song stand out despite its forgettable melody.

#48: “Settle Down” (The 1975)

Probably the best of the debut album’s jangly pop-rock filler tracks, “Settle Down” still sounds like a weaker version of that record’s big singles. Which is interesting, as it was a single itself. But I’m certainly not going to kick it out of bed — the soaring chorus is legitimately great, and the funky guitar riff is nice.

#47: “Paris” (I like it...)

This mid-tempo, snarky character study about a drug-addicted party girl almost feels like 1975 on auto pilot. But just because Healy and co. could knock out a song like this in their sleep, that doesn’t mean “Paris” isn’t a pleasant, silky smooth comedown from the zanier cuts on I like it.

#46: “Then Because She Goes” (Notes)

The 1975 going full Slowdive and making a fuzzy, shoegaze-y jam? Sounds incredible! Unfortunately, “Then Because She Goes” doesn’t quite live up to that premise, mostly because it’s so brief. At just a notch over two minutes, the song doesn’t give itself anytime to expand or go anywhere interesting. It’s a case of wasted potential, but at least the sliver of a song we got is decent.

#45: “Be My Mistake” (Brief Inquiry)

There are a couple exceptions to the “The 1975 shouldn’t do acoustic guitar ballads” rule. “Be My Mistake” is one of them. It’s nothing spectacular, but the melody is quite pretty, and Healy’s troubadour act is sweet. Also, unlike some of the earlier acoustic ballads, there’s no studio gimmickry or weird vocal filters: it’s just a nice coffeeshop ballad.

#44: “M.O.N.E.Y.” (The 1975)

It’s a bit strange that The 1975 decided to slot this single so high in their debut album’s tracklist, ahead of much catchier, more obvious hits. But there’s something infectious to the winking lyrics and jittery production that sounds like clanging slot machines.

#43: “This Must Be My Dream” (I like it...)

If there’s been one constant to The 1975′s albums, it’s that there’ll be at least a couple big, cheesy ‘80s homages. And I’m a huge sucker for those songs. “This Must Be My Dream” is the worst of the bunch — it’s a bit uninspired — but big crashing synths and drum machines are still a weakness for me. Also, Healy’s vocals sound eerily like Phil Collins here...not sure if that’s a plus or minus.

#42: “Roadkill” (Notes)

The superior version of “The Birthday Party,” for two reasons. One: instead of the band half-heartedly dipping its toes into an alt-country sound, “Roadkill” has BIG honky-tonk energy with its twangy guitars and dusty groove. Two: Healy’s little anecdotes are much more interesting and strange here. It still doesn’t have much of a hook or anything, but “Roadkill” is alright by me.

#41: “Lostmyhead” (I like it...)

Putting “Lostmyhead,” a fan-favorite deep cut, in the bottom half of this ranking is a bit of a hot take. So let me make it clear: this is a good song! The issue is, I feel about “Lostmyhead” the way those who dislike The 1975 describe the band’s other genre excursions: it just doesn’t come close to the original. Here, they’re clearly trying to emulate M83′s cinematic post-rock. And it’s passable! But it’s certainly no “Outro” or “Moonchild.”

#40: “Nothing Revealed / Everything Denied” (Notes)

This quirky number feels like a grab bag of various styles The 1975 have tried on throughout the years: a gospel chorus! Sort-of rapped auto-tune verses! A Mark Knopfler-esque guitar solo that sounds like it was recorded two rooms away, for some reason! It doesn’t quite add up to a classic, but it’s certainly attention grabbing, particularly Healy’s self-critical lyrics.

#39: “I Couldn’t Be More In Love” (Brief Inquiry)

Melodramatic late-‘80s R&B isn’t my favorite musical style, so that dings “I Couldn’t Be More In Love” a few points for me. But Healy is absolutely SELLING this thing vocally, corny key changes and all. And drummer/producer George Daniel expertly captures that specific era with some charmingly chintzy keyboard tones.

#38: “What Should I Say” (Notes)

This detour into robotic dancehall doesn’t work quite as well for me as the other track on Notes with this sound, the Cutty Ranks-led “Shiny Collarbone” (which didn’t qualify for this list, as Healy doesn’t sing on it). But “What Should I Say” is solid in its own right, with some twisty keyboard licks and lots of gorgeous chopped-up vocal samples.

#37: “Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy)” (Notes)

It’s a cute old-school soul song at its core (with a prominent Temptations sample!), but I feel like the lurching synths and occasional chipmunk vocals don’t work well with the more traditionalist tune. It’s an interesting test of mixing new and old, but it’s not entirely successful here.

#36: “So Far (It’s Alright)” (IV EP)

This song describes itself pretty accurately: It’s alright! Okay, fine, it’s actually pretty great. The twinkling pianos and Healy’s ghostly vocals are an atypical backdrop for adolescent stories of debauchery and angst, but it somehow works. It’s a song built to naturally cool down a house party.

#35: “Girls” (The 1975)

We’re about halfway through the list, so it seems like a pretty good time to talk about “Girls” — a big early hit for The 1975, but with a sound the group has clearly evolved from. It’s basically a catchier, sharper improvement on their debut album’s jangly pop-rock filler tracks.

But although that chorus is quite sticky, and the groove is nice, it’s not as interesting or unique as The 1975′s later hits, or even other singles from that same album. Another mid-10s semi-indie band of pretty boys could’ve easily recorded it (but it would’ve been their best song).

#34: “Menswear” (The 1975)

This is the point of the countdown at which where each track left is unequivocally a classic. I feel a bit bad putting “Menswear” — a slinky synthpop deep cut with a killer synth riff — this low on the list. But it just shows how many other incredible songs The 1975 have.

#33: “Loving Someone” (I like it...)

I like it when you sleep... doesn’t have quite as much genre hopping as their next two records. Instead, much of it it crystalized the ideal “1975 sound” — of-kilter but sleek synth-heavy rock with some ‘80s influence and some out-there lyrics. “Loving Someone” is a great song in that vein, with Healy delivering some wonderfully pretentious lyrics (“I’m the Greek economy of cashing intellectual checks”) and George Daniel creating a gorgeous cacophony of whirring synths and vocal samples to back him up.

#32: “Facedown” (Facedown EP)

The world’s proper introduction to The 1975, the band’s first song on their debut EP is a perfect distillation of their EP-era sound. The dream-pop keyboards and the processed, nearly Daft Punk-esque vocals make “Facedown” an intriguing invitation into The 1975′s nocturnal world of drugs, women and depression. It might honestly be a better teasing leadoff than the iconic self-titled track that opens The 1975′s full-length albums.

#31: “Heart Out” (The 1975)

This otherwise just-decent synthpop number is elevated by one aspect: the synth bass is incredible. The constant pulsating throb throughout the track gives the song an early-MTV vibe, lending it a sense of drive.

#30: “How To Draw / Petrichor” (Brief Inquiry)

In multiple interviews, Healy described A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships into his attempt at making Radiohead’s OK Computer for a new generation. But with its glitchy, robotic aesthetic, “How To Draw / Petrichor” is much more Kid A.

But despite my distaste for Radiohead’s more experimental side, I really love The 1975′s pastiche of it! Probably because, like the best 1975 songs, it has a really strong melody. But unlike many of their other great tunes, “How To Draw” is a snaking, constantly evolving track that’s mostly instrumental. Instrumental tracks aren’t usually for me, so the fact that this holds my attention for nearly 6 minutes is a strong sign.

#29: “Me” (Music For Cars EP)

"Me” is The 1975 at arguably their most sad-sack. Healy’s vocals are leaden and filled with guilt. At point, he casually tosses aside, “I was thinking about killing myself, don’t you mind.”

The music is a perfect match — the rhythm is plodding and heavy in the best way, and the mournful sax solo in the bridge stays just on the right side of cheesy. It’s a genuinely affecting ballad.

#28: “Give Yourself A Try” (Brief Inquiry)

This was the first taste of A Brief Inquiry we heard. And I really disliked it at first — the clanging, messy guitars and motorik rhythm didn’t connect with me at first.

But — strangely for a lead single — "Give Yourself A Try” is a grower! Healy’s lyrics are in his sweet spot of being legitimately sincere, gloriously snarky and absolutely ridiculous at the same time. And the pounding groove burrows its way into your skull until you find it endearing. The band’s next attempt at a more RAWK single on their fourth album worked a bit better, but “Give Yourself A Try” is pretty damn great for a Joy Division ripoff.

#27: “Intro / Set3″ (Sex EP)

This was essentially The 1975′s warmup version of the multi-part electronic sweep of “How To Draw.” Yet, I like "Intro / Set3″ a tad more. It’s more direct and has a stronger hook.

#26: “If I Believe You” (I like it...)

“If I Believe You” joins the legacy of pasty British/Irish rock bands making unexpectedly strong gospel songs. Although it’s not quite on the same transcendent level as The Rolling Stones’ and U2′s attempts, it’s at least on Blur’s level.

I love how Healy took the religious genre and used it for a song that’s all about religious confusion. He vents to a god that he doesn’t really believe in, wondering if religion would solve his myriad problems. The song doesn’t arrive at a clean conclusion, but it’s still a fascinating track about doubts and why people turn to a higher power.

#25: “People” (Notes)

In a whole career of random left-turns, scream-y punk rock might be the most unexpected yet for The 1975. “People” — which directly follows an apocalyptic spoken word intro from climate activist Greta Thunberg on its album — is a piercing jolt of energy that’s impossible to ignore.

"People” is definitely a polarizing track, even for fans of the band. It’s extremely aggressive, angry, and might freak out your friend who just wanted to hear more songs like “Chocolate.” But even though I think the lyrics (although admirably ballsy!) are a bit of a mess, I love the no-holds-back rage of “People.” If you’re going to try an out-there genre experiment, dive in headfirst.

#24: “Frail State Of Mind” (Notes)

By far the best of Notes’ drum-and-bass tracks, “Frail State Of Mind” feels like an actual, fleshed-out song rather than just the band dinking around with some new rhythms. 

The skittering percussion, mournful vocal samples and melancholy lyrics help to create a gorgeous, downbeat track. It’s the audio equivalent of sitting inside on a drizzly day, listening to the rain hit the roof: sad, but also content.

#23: “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” (Brief Inquiry)

Okay, so remember that hot minute in the mid-2010s when pop music pivoted hard into a gentrified, bland tropical house sound? Justin Bieber was the biggest offender? Well, The 1975 jumped on that bandwagon a few years later with “TOOTIME” ... yet it wound up sounding much better than any of the actual hit songs it was ripping off.

Why does The 1975′s tropical house banger actually work? First off, it embraces its non-tropical Britishness: with the chilly synths and auto-tuned vocals, it barely emulates the Caribbean outside of its rhythm. Furthermore, that rhythm is a tad faster than many of those mid-10s hits, making the song feel less like a drag and more like a traditional pop banger. But most importantly — it’s catchy as hell. Good luck getting that chorus out of your head.

#22: “Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America” feat. Phoebe Bridgers (Notes)

“Jesus Christ” is easily the biggest exception to my “The 1975 shouldn’t do acoustic ballads” rule. And that’s primarily because they brought alone one of the modern masters of that form: Phoebe Bridgers.

Healy’s quietly emotive vocals and knack for lilting melodies fit in perfectly with Bridgers’ whispered folksy musical world. And of course, it’s nice to hear another voice on a 1975 song, especially if it’s as evocative as Bridgers’. Both she and Healy sing short vignettes of tortured, non-reciprocated same-sex crushes, and it’s a prime example of the power of compact storytelling.

#21: “She’s American” (I like it...)

As I warned earlier, the top of this list is going to have a lot of The 1975′s trips into pure ‘80s synth cheese. So let’s dive right into that!

“She’s American” is just pure fun, from Healy’s cheeky lyrics poking fun at his American lover, to the swirling synths and shiny guitars. It’s like a long-lost Duran Duran banger.

#20: “You” (Sex EP)

For a rock band that loves bombast, it’s surprising that The 1975 don’t tap into the U2/Coldplay arena rock sound more often. But the couple times they tried it, they nailed the landing.

“You” is a stark departure from the nocturnal angst of much of The 1975′s other EP-era songs. It’s bright, major-key, and meant to be blasted to the cheap seats of an arena. The guitar riff is pure The Edge, and the song just keeps getting bigger and bigger, louder and louder. “You” sounds like pure euphoria by the time it reaches its climax.

#19: “UGH!” (I like it...)

We’ll file this in the “Healy vents about his drug addiction over a super-sleek pop song” folder. And like most of those songs, “UGH!” is a total winner.

The guitars and synths are so liquid and snappy that it’s hard to tell them apart (in a good way!). And Healy gloriously vamps over the ‘80s Bowie groove, pontificating about his coke habit is ruining his life. The attention to detail here is admirable — from the chic plastic production to Healy making an aside about how the song only lasts three minutes. Guess how long “UGH!” is, to the exact second?

#18: “The City” (Facedown and IV EPs, The 1975)

This song was clearly a favorite in the band’s early days: it was on two of their four EPs, and was the first non-intro track on their debut album. “The City” absolutely deserves all that love, though.

First, to be clear: the re-recorded version on the self-titled debut album is much better. The 1975 are not one of those bands that sounds better with a DIY, low-fi aesthetic — they need that studio sheen! And on the re-recorded version, the absolute best aspect of “The City” gets to shine: THOSE DRUMS. They slam against your eardrums with the force of a Mack truck, and help propel an otherwise-just-solid pop tune into a classic.

#17: “Sincerity Is Scary” (Brief Inquiry)

This is a song that probably shouldn’t work: jazzy horns, an off-kilter beat and a towering gospel choir in service of a song about how the internet has ruined the way we relate to people? It’s all a bit much. But luckily, “a bit much” is The 1975′s sweet spot.

Strangely enough, this shuffling single feels effortless and natural, despite having wordy lyrics and not sounding like any Top 40 song in recently memory. Also, it’s the band’s best music video. It’s creative and absolutely adorable.

#16: “Love Me” (I like it...)

If there’s one older band The 1975 is constantly compared to, it’s ‘80s Aussie legends INXS. It’s a bit of a strange comparison — The 1975 are shameless genre-hoppers. INXS had one (really great!) signature pop-rock sound that they stuck with for most of their big hits.

But I understand where that comparison comes from, because “Love Me” is the most dead-on INXS pastiche I’ve ever heard. It wouldn’t shock me to learn it’s a cover of a forgotten Kick B-side. The wiry guitars, bouncy rhythm, winking lyrics about fame and sex, hits of wiggly synths and horns — it’s all the elements that made a song like “New Sensation” so great. The music video even features Healy, with long curly hair, preening around shirtless like Michael Hutchence!

Look, if you’re going to shamelessly rip someone off, you might as well rip off a great band at its best moment. And The 1975 channelled peak-INXS better than anyone since 1988 (even the band itself!) with “Love Me.”

#15: “Antichrist” (Facedown EP)

“Antichrist” is probably The 1975′s most goth song. It opens with a stately organ, and Healy sings the first verse in the very lowest part of his vocal register. It’s a stark departure from any other song of theirs, which of course grabs your attention.

But the funeral dirge vibes, as cool as they are, aren’t the only factor that makes “Antichrist” a great song. The minimalist guitar solo semi-chorus is stunning, like something Interpol would’ve done. And when Healy cranks up his vocal stylings for the song’s second half, it injects a bit of energy. The punishing, near-shoegaze finale to the song is masterful as well.

Despite it being a fan favorite from their very-first EP, “Antichrist” has infamously never been played live. And honestly, I’m okay with that — this seems like a bolt of gloom-and-doom lightning that would be nearly impossible to re-create in some mid-sized arena in Des Moines.

#14: “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)” (Notes)

It’s a bit of a bummer that easily the three best songs off of Notes On A Conditional Form all easily slide into The 1975′s pop-rock comfort zone. But even if that album’s experiments fell a bit flat, it’s nice to know the band can still hit its sweet spot over and over again without getting tiring.

“If You’re Too Shy” is a perfect ‘80s synthpop banger, complete with some very-1975 lyrics about a couple meeting online and immediately objectifying each other. But the lyrics are really not the selling point of the song — it’s the taut new-wave rhythm, the twinkling synths, the ROARING sax solo, and that insanely sticky chorus (maybe the catchiest the band’s had). It’s the kind of song that could’ve played during that absurd library dance scene from Breakfast Club. It’s a timeless jam of the highest order, and impossible to resist.

#13: “I Like America & America Likes Me” (A Brief Inquiry)

As much of a big deal I make about The 1975′s experimental, don’t-give-a-fuck nature, most of my favorite songs of theirs are their more conventional pop songs. Sorry, I’m lame!

But regardless, I adore “I Like America,” a truly strange electronic freakout that encapsulates all the anxieties and fears of the world’s young people. It’s electrifying and horrifying in equal measure.

Of course, a much more famous 1975 song coming on this list does this concept a little better lyrically, and has more of an actual hook to back it up. Still, there’s something poignant about “I Like America,” particularly Healy’s unhinged performance. He spends most of the song hysterically yelling out into the void lines like “I’M SCARED OF DYING, IT’S FINE” and “WOULD YOU PLEASE LISTEN.” And the chaotic, undulating wave of vocal samples, drum machines and synths seems to get stronger with every second. 

#12: “Chocolate” (Music For Cars EP, The 1975)

Easily The 1975′s biggest hit in the U.S., “Chocolate” could’ve easily pinned the band into the bin of other just-decent Tumblr-friendly indie bands in the early ‘10s. They could’ve been the British version of The Neighbourhood (remember “Sweater Weather?”).

But just because The 1975 quickly moved away from the super-sugary pop rock of “Chocolate,” that doesn’t mean the tune is a simple trifle. I mean, okay, it is — but it’s a perfect trifle! The hook is basically the entire song, and for good reason: it’s freakishly catchy. “Chocolate” is one of those songs you’ll have stuck in your head for weeks afterward. And that bouncy groove is *chef’s kiss*. 

“Chocolate” was bound to be noticed by the world: it was too pristine to be ignored.

#11: “The Sound” (I like it...)

Am I underrating this? Maybe.

When I first heard “The Sound,” it was the first 1975 song I truly loved. The bouncy house piano, thumping four-on-the-floor beat and simple sing-along chorus drew me in like a siren call. And it still sounds fantastic four years later! 

Really, the only bad thing you could say about “The Sound” is that the band made a couple even better synthpop jams later. This was sort of a warm up, their first truly great ‘80s costume party. But even though it’s been surpassed, “The Sound” is still a delight today. At the very least, it has the band’s best-ever guitar solo.

#10: “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)” (A Brief Inquiry)

Y’all know the classic Oasis power ballad “Champagne Supernova,” right? It’s incredibly epic, but the lyrics are infamously meaningless. What if a band wrote a similar Britpop power ballad, with an equally anthemic chorus, but actually injected a legitimate, moving theme?

That happened! The 1975 did it with “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes),” maybe the most uplifting song about suicide ever written. Healy penned some of his most empathetic lyrics here, all about how, well, sometimes we all want to die. Always. His chorus is a moment of glorious angsty catharsis — the emo lyrics of My Chemical Romance set to the sweeping strings and towering guitars of a Coldplay single. 

This song is 100% my sweet spot, as a person with depression who loves a corny U2 ballad. It’s a shame The 1975 don’t operate in this vein more often — they’re quite good at it.

#9: “Sex” (Sex EP, The 1975)

The 1975 are barely a “rock” band in the truest sense. Yeah, they have a guitar player and a drummer and whatnot, but most of their music leans more on the pop side of things. 

But “Sex,” one of the band’s earliest hits, legitimately rocks. It’s a raging, almost pop-punk jam that proves The 1975 can make a fantastic headbanger anytime they like. The frenzied tune is pure adrenaline, which makes sense given it’s about the forbidden thrill of cheating.

During the band’s last major tour, when “Sex” was played during the encore, the massive screen simply read “ROCK AND ROLL IS DEAD” while Matty Healy violently smashed a guitar at the song’s conclusion. Ironically, he proved the opposite.

#8: “Guys” (Notes)

This one’s just too cute.

“Guys” has an incredibly clever — and admittedly quite cheesy — conceit: Healy wrote a love song, but instead of being about romance, it’s about his platonic adoration for his fellow band members. It’s funny how most of The 1975′s songs about dating tend to be bitter or depressed, while arguably their most head-over-heels tune is about how much the four titular guys love spending time and writing songs together.

Even though it was written before the COVID-19 pandemic, “Guys” still fits the moment eerily well. Healy’s vocals and the lilting melody have a bittersweet tone, and the opening refrain of “I was missing the guys” could easily be about quarantining.

“Guys” won’t be for everyone. Some might roll their eyes at its aggressive sincerity. But if it catches me in a certain mood, it really has an effect on me. It’s perhaps the greatest bromance song ever written.

#7: “Fallingforyou” (IV EP)

The best song from The 1975′s EP era, “Fallingforyou” is a gorgeous, minimalist ballad that could’ve only come from the band’s less pretentious early years.

Healy switches between a conversational mumble and an angelic falsetto on the nocturnal track, giving it an intimate feel. It’s almost like he’s right next to you in the backseat of some car at 2 a.m. The dreamy, rumbling background gives “Fallingforyou” almost a Beach House or Chromatics vibe, and it suits the band well.

The 1975 is far too extra nowadays to try another song as quiet, serene and gimmick-free as “Fallingforyou.” But at least we have the one.

#6: “Me & You Together Song” (Notes)

The 1975 already have so many songs that try to recreate the magic of mid ‘80s pop-rock. And although they could probably keep mining that sound forever, it would be nice to see them try homages to other golden eras of pop music. And “Me & You Together Song” does just that.

With this bouncy, propulsive power pop jam, The 1975 were clearly aiming for a Y2K-era adult alternative vibe. It wouldn’t be hard to see The Goo Goo Dolls or Third Eye Blind performing a song like this, with the chugging guitars, snarky-yet-romantic lyrics and endless energy.

Daniel and Healy wrote a groove and effortless melody for “Me & You” that could probably go on forever — and it almost does! The last 75 seconds or so of the single just repeat the refrain over and over, and although normally that kind of repetition drives me nuts, it feels natural for this tune.

#5: “A Change of Heart” (I like it...)

One of two all-time classic breakup songs off of The 1975′s second album, “A Change of Heart” is crushing in the most pedestrian way. It’s not anything melodramatic or exaggerated — it’s simply the story of a couple naturally drifting apart.

Healy’s lyrics are rich with details here, from pithy asides about not smoking cigarettes correctly and Instagramming salads to a rather blunt description of falling out of love: “You used to have a face straight out of a magazine/Now you just look like anyone.”

Interestingly, Daniel decided to accompany the unromantic lyrics with some of the band’s most dreamy production. It sounds like a prom scene from a John Hughes high school movie. But that dissonance works — it sets up a fantasy and then shatters it. 

#4: “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)” (A Brief Inquiry)

You want to know why I left “The Sound” out of the top 10? Here’s why: “It’s Not Living” takes that same hyper-sleek ‘80s synthpop sound but improves upon it with a stickier hook, dark lyrics and a killer guitar riff.

Strangely for such a perky and bouncy song, “It’s Not Living” is about Healy’s struggles to get over a heroin addiction. It’s a smart lyrical trick, framing his difficulty with quitting smack as being similar to not getting over a rough breakup. And it’s downright genius to pair such a dark topic with such a fun instrumental, Passion Pit-style. “It’s Not Living” is the band’s finest pure pop song, and a success they’ll no doubt try to repeat for the rest of their career.

#3: “Robbers” (The 1975)

This is the pinnacle of The 1975′s early career young-and-dumb anthems. It turns literally robbing a bank into a sweeping, heartfelt power ballad.

Alright, alright, fine ... it’s not literally about robbing a bank; it’s a metaphor for a toxic, co-dependent relationship, according to the band. But that deeper meaning is pretty hard to pick up on when Healy’s singing about guns and screaming “NOW EVERYBODY’S DEAAAAAAD” on the bridge. Honestly, “Robbers” being a tragic Romeo and Juliet-style story sounds much more plausible.

But lyrics aside, the chugging guitars and soaring chorus hit you right in the gut. “Robbers” could be about shopping at Pottery Barn and it would still be an incredible tour-de-force of a song. But its brutal ending elevates it even further. That cruelly ironic final line, “Babe, you look so cool” — which Healy sounds like he’s singing through tears — lands like a sledgehammer every time.

#2: “Love It If We Made It” (A Brief Inquiry)

The words “generational anthem” tend to get thrown around a lot online about various tracks. But “Love It If We Made It” deserves that moniker.

I have yet to hear a song that better describes the acute stress and psychological horror of being a Millennial or Gen Zer while the world collapses around you. The ice caps are melting, police brutality is rampant, the refugee crisis is accelerating, and the world’s leaders are too corrupt and/or incompetent to do anything to fix these problems. 

Unlike many political anthems, Healy doesn’t sound angry on “Love It If We Made It.” He sounds terrified. The title itself makes the song’s theme clear: we just want to survive this mess. And we’re pretty sure that we won’t.

With 2020 being an absolutely awful year so far (oh hi, COVID!), “Love It If We Made It” unfortunately sounds just as powerful today as it did a couple years ago. Hopefully, there comes a day when this song sounds less visceral and chilling and more like a relic of the past. But that day hasn’t come yet.

#1: “Somebody Else” (I like it...)

If there is a “The 1975 sound” — which is kind of ridiculous, seeing as the band changes up their sound so much, but still — “Somebody Else” is the perfect example of it. It’s both deeply indebted to ‘80s new wave, yet wholly modern-sounding. Healy’s lyrics are laughably pretentious yet cuttingly relatable. And it packages complicated emotions into an undeniable, melancholy pop nugget.

Healy’s exploration of tangled, better emotions on “Somebody Else” about his ex — who he mistakenly thought he was over —finding a new partner is sadly a place we’ve all been. “I don’t want your body/but I hate to think about you with somebody else” — who can’t relate? 

Daniels’ nocturnal production is sleek, slippery and heartwrenching in its own right. The scattered, distorted vocal samples almost mock Healy’s emotions, and the shuffling beat adds a nice pulse to the proceedings. If you’re in the proper mood and setting, there are few better breakup songs to blast and mope around to.

"Somebody Else” one of the all-time great breakup anthems, as well as a top-tier song to drive around to at night when you’re sad. And it’s The 1975′s best-ever song.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

Ok SO! I just watched the original 3 Jurassic Parks in succession and I have some things to say... (Long Post and Spoilers I guess?)

JURASSIC PARK

what was wrong with the sick Triceratops? Like they made a big deal of Laura Dern digging in poop and looking at the plants and whether or not they were eating something weird, and I thought it would come up again... it did not and I just wanna know what was wrong with the Trike?!

Then the whole viable embryo chamber that Nedry stole... I suppose the embryos just died but they did this whole thing where we watch it get covered in mud, and once again, was expecting that to be a plot point but guess not??

Otherwise great film, obviously having not seen it when I was younger, I don’t have any nostalgia towards the film, so no rose-tinted glasses to make it look prettier than it is... but really solid thriller, they captured the majesty of these creatures that don’t even exist anymore... I’ll dig up the full legacy of the film later, but easily the best of the three in my opinion... pacing was good, tension in each action sequence was great, the cast was really solid too... Laura Dern, every scene she was in, she was brilliant... she’s equal parts charming, witty but also isn’t here to take any shit... she has things to do, and she will get them done... so far the only female character in the first three movies that I could stand screaming... including Sarah Harding who had a couple moments... Sam Neill was a good gruff hero who we’re endeared to by his awkwardness around kids... Jeff Goldblum was Jeff Goldblum, weirdly underused the entire film??? Like he had that weird laugh-growl, all those great lines in the beginning, and ofc the iconic leads Rexy with the flare scene (which I was expecting to be more epic but Sam Neill kept telling him to drop it and so it came off like he was doing something kinda dumb??) but he busts up his leg and has no other purpose than “Must go faster”, the sexy wounded Goldblum, and “look up and follow the main cable”...

THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK

Contrary to the previous one, I feel like Jeff Goldblum...uhhh...is not an action star? His dialogue during action scenes, his movements, his general character all seemed awkward and out of place, and maybe that’s what he’s going for... he’s a scientist/mathematician dude who didn’t wanna be there, but the “choreography” of the action scenes just didn’t seem like a dude actively trying to save himself and the people around him... the entirety of the raptor scene in the power station felt stilted and stiff, him, Julianne Moore and his daughter... that gymnastics scene could’ve been cooler but everything was so slow? Like it’s the longest of the three films and idk if that’s a good thing... the end bit where the T-Rex ended up in San Diego felt more than a little goofy and sort of separate from the rest of the movie, like there was no transition from the natural end of the movie (them getting rescued) and the Rex wandering around the suburbs..

However I really did enjoy Vince Vaughn and I’m so used to him in comedic roles?? But like he seemed like such a grounded dude that was secretly a sort of guerilla environmentalist set to rescue animals from poachers... I kinda would’ve preferred him as the main character and have Jeff be a side character just with more to do than in the first film... Jeff is great as a foil to the action hero, witty banter was a check, running commentary is always great, occasional moments of his own death defying struggles but Vince’s character had more moxie... Sarah aka Julianne Moore was fine as the obligatory female character that wasn’t a dinosaur... though for someone who kept insisting on knowing what she was doing and hanging around multiple predators, her screaming right at Mom and Dad Rex when the key is to be still and quiet, and also not clueing in that the baby Rex blood on her vest would attract the parents to her after she specifically mentioned them having superior scent tracking was a little ridiculous... obligatory kid was fine, but they never really doubled back on the whole “you never keep your promises” problem they introduced between her and Jeff..

JURASSIC PARK 3

Uh so... there are just... pterodactyls canonically nested and presumably breeding somewhere else in the world, and I was just wondering if it ever gets addressed in JW or JW: FK??? Like I’ve seen Jurassic World but without prior knowledge of the previous films, so idk if there was a reference slipped in, but it is the same universe as the previous films sooo...just gotta accept that they nested somewhere and no one did anything to stop them flying off??

Also Laura Dern... how did she manage to rally the military and the navy??? Like where did she get the power/the connections to pull that off???

Also also... did they face... no consequences for entering those islands after having invaded a foreign countries restricted air space???

Compared to 2, generally better pacing, much better action sequences... tension was pretty close to the first film in snappy action... got Sam Neill back and he’s nice... apparently the third is not well-liked but without the nostalgia factor clouding my judgement? It was about the same vibe... more of the same, an arbitrary event pulling them to Dino land, it being a Terrible Very Bad Idea, and cue in the herbivore Dinosaurs, the slightly more dangerous dinosaurs, and The Big Bad Dinosaur... much scream, much death, then rescue....

they overused the classic JP theme a little, and in weird spots... like there’d be death and terror, and then all of a sudden the JP theme would blast and something cute or majestic would appear and it was quite jarring...the genesis of the Spinosaurus would’ve been nice to know, they made that an unecessary mystery but whatever...guess it was born from some precursor experiment to the I-Rex sort of thing that InGen had been cooking up...

Tea Leoni just kept yelling and screaming and it was so annoying istg like stop no... I get she was scared but she was hysterical off her head and it felt very classic horror film but jfc you come to an island to rescue your son from dinosaurs, not get eaten by one! They also kept trying to focus on the divorced couple rekindling their relationship in this dangerous situation but please no I do not watch these films for the love story I’m glad it was barely even acknowledged in the first film that Alan and Ellie probably had a thing going on and I kinda did not like that they made Jeff and Julianne be an established thing and have John Hammond use that as incentive to push Jeff to go back to the island... so yeah no shoo-shoo the romance away please... also the poor boyfriend who died?? Like no grief for him I guess??

Sam Neill getting angry at Billy was really mean, so glad he survived... there were actually less terrible people who didn’t realise they were terrible people in this film... the closest we got was Billy stealing the raptor eggs and that was him just being rash and young and wanting to help out...

Otherwise another typical dinosaur fest... it wasnt Spielberg direction, and you could kinda tell... not as smooth in just the general flow of the story... not quite as golden touch as the first one, but not as dragged out as the second one and it had better action sequences... so idk about y’all but I might just rank the third film above the second one?

CONCLUSION

Anyway yeah! Netflix took down Jurassic World so I’m bummed my binge watch got messed with but Fallen Kingdom is being put up this week so looking forward to that!

[botslayer]

Top Ten games of the 2010′s

This trend seems to be doing the rounds at the moment and seeing as I’ve been gaming for about as long as I can remember, It just feels right. So, let’s get into it. But first, worth saying: These aren't really in any specific order, it's just the games I've personally had the most fun with overall, but it's pretty hard to decide what the hard numbers on things you enjoy for different reasons are if that makes any sense. 10. The 2010's weren't exactly the best time for anyone, I think. For me they were a slog of finding myself and learning things I wish I didn't. Amid all those things I wanted some levity. The world needs something and stupid. We got a lot of it ion 2013 but I feel like we could have used it scattered around a bit more. In that spirit, allow me to show you one hell of a pick me up:

Saints Row 4

Saints Row 4 does not give a fuck. It is aggressively demonstrating that the entire time you play. It doesn't care in the slightest what you think or why, It just wants to show you cool, if juvenile, and interesting, if weird shit. It's the finer points of Ratchet and Clank's arsenal, SR3's humor, And superpowers that genuinely put Prototype and Infamous in a blender and tell you to go ape shit with them. The soundtrack isn't top shelf, it's the roof of the building the shelf is in. Saints Row Two had a better story overall but SR Four's was just plain fun and a solid enough story to still be invested.

The DLC was just as irreverent and madcap, Featuring everything from an evil Santa Clause to evil Gimps on Game of thrones chairs made of dildos Or Tropey-ass costumes and weapon reskins that I'd be genuinely surprised the game dev didn't get sued over. It has earned its place in my top 10 and I will die by that decision.

9.

2016 saw the advent of a new genre. They blended TF2 and MOBAs, and we got hero shooters in their first AAA forms, Overwatch and Battleborn. But neither of these games is on this list, much as I liked them. Partly because the whole time, I kept thinking of one simple question: "Why do I keep thinking of...?"

Anarchy Reigns

Anarchy Reigns is my favorite Platinum game. Full Stop. The Story mode is interesting and has genuinely good character moments, the characters themselves are completely mental, ranging from a mercenary with a bionic cat leg that secretly has a gun built into it to a giant cyborg bull-man with a jet-powered hammer. The soundtrack is mostly angry hip-hop, making every song a banger and fittingly speedy for things like random bombing runs from jet fighters that come from absolutely nowhere.

There are giant monsters, cars with mounted flame throwers, giant robots, and the online is still pretty sweet because even when abandoned, loading it up with bots still rules. I regularly have more fun with this than I ever did with Overwatch, and I don't care how insane that sounds.

8.

Some games want to make you feel something and fail. Some games make you feel some things accidentally, for example, a desperate need to laugh. This game made me feel like a human blender. Like a Chthonic god of mangled flesh and raw destructive power. Nyarlathotep ain't got nothing on me. I speak, of course, of...

[Prototype] 2

There's no end to the absolute destruction you feel like you're causing in this game. It feels more fluid than the first, the main character is a pinch more relatable, and all the body horror, superpowers, zombie hordes, and big old monsters make for some of the most memorable and fun moments and fights in gaming. The DLC is also pretty solid, adding new fun side challenges, and new powers and weapons that elevate you from "Flesh god" to "Screw physics, I made them" Omnipotent. Best god/monster simulation of all time.

7.

Sometimes some games are at an honest tie in your mind. Be it that you like them for essentially the same reasons, or for completely different reasons, but the overall total joy or entertainment they bring is roughly equivalent. Here, we have a case of the former:

Furi/Cuphead

Both games have a tight focus on giving players a unique, boss-centric challenge, both have interesting, somewhat minimal narratives, and both are absolute eye candy.

Furi has a more "Samurai Jack" Quality to me. A complete badass on a relatively simple quest with a somewhat minimalistic art style learning some things as he goes.

Cuphead on the other hand, nails that rubber hose animation style, and the fun levity of such animations while still making the player's ability to interact with the world damn impactful and fun.

They share a spot in my soul, games I love everything about but will never be able to finish. Hats off to both dev teams.

6.

Now here we have another tie. Mostly because the games are so close together, they need to be evaluated more or less as one product IMO, not enough changed for me to consider them separate games, fortunately, that is the furthest thing from an insult it can be in this situation. I present to you, my next pick(s).

Costume Quest 1/2

Now, This might seem pretty random considering my other picks, but honestly, I love Halloween, I love creative madness, I love subversion, I love good characters, and I love cool action, these games have all these things by the bucketload.

The first game is a wild ride through Halloween in multiple very lively locations and the second, slightly confusing as it is, is pretty awesome for the things it introduces, including time travel. Other elements, like the battle stamps, the truly epic forms of everything in the fights, The ability to customize your costumes, etc. they blur together in a pretty big way, but again, there's not a thing wrong with that when both games rock like crystal candy. 

5.

Now, if you hadn't noticed, all of the games on this list have had some hard action at their core, and while I don't HATE calmer games, a lot of the time, so many are kinda dull to me in that with the exception of easter eggs of some sort, most farming sims, for example, just have you doing normal farm stuff with very few twists, may as well start a real farm in that case. My most chill entry is a game that tosses that to one side, asks you to grab a suck cannon, and start harvesting gelatinous monster poop.

Slime Rancher

While you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with other characters, they just talk at you, the story of the game is pretty effective, the player character of Beatrix has left Earth for a simpler life of Slime Ranching, which entails the raising of alien crops, delightfully derpy and colorful chickens, and going all around in an attempt to farm new breeds of slime for their genetic material to sell off or trade-in for the creation of gadgets while being surrounded by a cast of interesting characters. It's all very wholesome family fun.

The game looks great, has great ideas, and is genuinely the best farming game I have ever played. @ me all you want.

4.

The 80's are almost fetishized nowadays. Given all the property reboots, games that go for the vibe and aesthetic of the time, etc. It almost seems as though the eighties vibe train ain't gonna stop rolling any time soon. But we owe it to ourselves to remember the first big swipe of madcap neon-colored actiony B-movie bullshit and how mind-meltingly epic it was. Ladies, Gents, and whatever else, I present:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Blood Dragon's story is relatively simple, you play Sargent Rex "Power" Colt (A name said in full so many times I thought his last name was "Powercolt" for the longest time), a former "Omega force" cyborg. Rex and his friend "Spider" were sent into a secret island base to investigate the supposed defection and treachery of their old commander, Ike Sloan. It turns out he has gone rogue and taken an army of "Mark 5" Omegaforce cyber-soldiers with him. What follows is a long story of betrayal, science fiction of the highest nonsensical level, comedy, and brilliantly cathartic action.

The collectibles range from data on animals, to research notes from a scientist, to literal VHS cassette tapes that have full descriptions of movies that I would legitimately watch if I could. "You may now kill the brides" is not a real film and I am angry for every day that that is true. Anyway, play Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, I dunno if it's on PS4 but it's one game I'd buy a new/old console for.

3.

A lot of superhero games NEED to railroad you. Your goals MUST be to save the lives of the people and help the weak and all that. But one dev asked the simple question: "What if it didn't?" "What if the player chose how to use their power? What if the player could be as evil or as good as they damn well pleased?" One game gave you the powers of thunder and lightning and asked what you'd do with it. It's sequel asked you the same, but against more... interesting forces.

InFamous 2

InFamous 2 is a game about making choices, just like the first one, also just like the first one, it can have an effect on gameplay. That effect went from "What does this particular power do in this allignment?" To "Which new set of NEW powers would you like?" The forces of the last game went from “Three flavors of gun-toting whackos” To “Possibly an allegory for the Klan, Swamp monsters, and Ice-powered super soldiers.”

This was, and still is, the best game in the whole series, The powers felt distinct from anything else and still do, the story is solid as a rock, and the enemy types were still varied enough to be interesting, I miss the Reapers from the first game, but that's about it. Everything else was a massive step up. If you have something that can run it, play it.

2.

Action is something I think we can all appreciate on some level. We can understand when it does or does not work, we can understand when we do or do not like how it feels when we are the ones partaking in it. EX: Any schlep can tell you when the weapons in your game lack impact, or when your character moves too slow for the game to be fun. The following game is something I can't say anything of the sort about. And it's kind of like Wolfenstein, when you have enemies this bad, who the hell cares how many you kill?

Doom 2016

Y'all are lying if you say you didn't expect this one. It's DOOM 2016. This game is made of hate and fuck. AND I LOVE IT. You move so fast, you may as well be half cheetah and half sports car. You slaughter the dregs of hell by the dozens and even the biggest, baddest things this game throws at you can be beaten with the starting pistol if you have the stones for it. It looks amazing graphically, the demons all look appropriately threatening, and even the Multiplayer is a great deal of fun in my book.

Something worth noting: The story presented by default is pretty barebones, but that's where supplementary material fills in the gaps, the difference between supplementary material in most games and supplementary material here is the material is till IN THE GAME. You're free to ignore most of the plot as it happens around you, and even interesting tidbits of the lore like how certain demons function. Not only are these things missable collectibles, prompting continued play to find them, they are also pretty interesting reads. So yeah, just about everything you could want in a sequel/remake, builds the on lore and gameplay very organically. 

1.

And here we are, the last game I'd put in this category. An entire decade, and here, we end on the last game that left such an impact I'd put it in my top ten. But first, let's talk about expectations and delivery: When you say a game is coming out, there are certain expectations you have for gameplay, EX: I say "Ratchet and Clank" and you expect a TPS with platforming elements and crazy guns. I say "Gears of War" and people expect something to do with lumbering about in big armor, dismembering things with a chainsaw gun and otherwise shooting them to paste. We might also expect changes to things, better graphics, innovations in grenade variety, something as that franchise goes on.

After the last game in this series was released, there were tons of people who felt let down and disappointed by it. Then they released the still somewhat disappointing special edition of it. They were both still fun, but neither really felt like the full next step in the series. After a failed reboot, they returned to the original story and the lot of us rejoiced. And when it finally came out? It was a step up in most, if not, all regards, to its predecessors. You know what this last one is. Please, give a warm round of applause to:

Devil May Cry 5

A game that was not only a return to form, but a major escalation in gameplay for one character, and a new style of gameplay all together by way of yet another new character. It didn’t exactly hurt that the story kicked ten kinds of ass and that the game looked spectacular in both the design of everything and the actual graphical fidelity.DMC 5 is, like DOOM, Like InFamous 2, Like [PROTOTYPE] 2, everything you want in a good sequel. It built very well on already solid foundations and it was generally just a fun, slightly goofy, massively stylish, and ultra badass ride. I recommend this, and all these games, to anyone.Good night everyone, have a great 2020. And the rest of the decade, for that matter. 

[thefroglesbian]

It's getting warmer and I'm feeling the tropical vibes.. here's some of my favorite tropical fishes 🐠 🌊 Fun Facts 🌊 Parrotfish (like this quoyi parrotfish) chomp on coral with their strong teeth and poop out beautiful white sand! They also sleep in snot bubbles 😴 Juvenile coris wrasse are solid orange and white, and develop completely different coloration as adults 🌈

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x15 “Peace of Mind”

CAS!!!!! CAS CAS CAS IS THE BESTEST CAS CAS CAS CAS

03:24pm

ALL RIGHT I’M READY

I ACTUALLY SLEPT LAST NIGHT SO I’M NOT CURRENTLY DYING. only, like 40% woozy and 90% drained of energy

LOOKING FORWARD TO SOMETHING WHOLESOME

another steve yockey episode?? screenplay by someone called meghan fitzmartin. sweet

-

all i know about this episode is from a tumblr post that said “cas”, “funny” and “brother in law bonding”, and an instagram post with sam looking like a shady art auctioneer who sells endangered animals on the side

-

03:32

k, got my bean salad, got my magnesium chloride footbath, i am as ready as can be

-

03:33pm

i really hope they name the snake ‘cause i’m posting a fic tomorrow with the snake mentioned and i don’t have a name

-

03:35

“scooby doo matinee”

ehehe

-

03:36

digging the 1950s thing

...but not actually the 1950s?

-

03:37

“.....duuude??? do you.. need help?????”

griffin is the hero of this story and must be protected at all costs

-

03:39

ah the snake is a boy snek?

-

03:41

cas: “i thought you were going to sleep until the cows dragged you home”

dean: “thshsa notdhfsdg n”

 i fucking love everything about this

-

03:47

i still love cas’ car

i hope nothing bad ever happens to it

and i hope we see dean taking care of it the way he takes care of baby, and/or showing cas how to do it

-

03:49

the little 1950s town

reminds me of pee-wee herman tbh

also dear god now i want to write a fic where there’s a town like this except dean and cas are undercover as a gay couple and everyone’s freaking out about it because being queer is ~accepted~ in modern times but it goes against the ~historical aesthetic~ of the town and dean and cas are “faking” except accidentally change the minds of everyone through the legitimacy of their love

-

03:54

cas: “saturday evening post... i look at them sometimes after you fall asleep at night”

/googles that

ooh

also..............if i didn’t ship destiel so damn hard that would be such a perfect sastiel line

“they’re very soothing”

;~; cas and his soothing, stimmy things

i love him i love him i love him

-

03:58

oh maaaaan i love sam and cas but WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE TO HAVE DEAN AND CAS ON A DATE IN A MILK SHOP

-

03:59

oh the milkshake probably turns people kooky and sam’s gonna turn but cas didn’t drink the milkshake so he’s gonna be fine

edit: damn i got got.  but also yeah cas was fine

-

04:01

did cas say “like a ripe melon ON the sun”?

yes he did

but why

-

04:03

i like that this town seems pretty diverse despite the general view we see nowadays of the 1950s

-

04:04

the way dean shrugs and say “i like bacon”

is so nauseatingly cute

i wanna cry and squish him 

-

04:05

I KNEW HE HAD MICE SOMEWHERE

in my fic the snake makes friends with the mouse jack tries to feed him (the fic is a 14.5k dean/cas smut fic called Measure of Thigh Love and will be posted here tomorrow)

-

04:07

lady: “morals. gotta have morals”

*eyes cas”

“you know”

whAT DOES IT MEAN

does he look like a good boy, an upstanding pillar of the community, definitely not a perpetually confused hot mess in love with a freckly bisexual trashbag

-

04:08

the fact cas so calmly and blankly reads the pornographic letters talking about the guys dick

i just

does anyone even understand how much i love him

every fucking thing he does or says makes me love him more

-

04:12

ANGEL FOOD CAKE & DEVILS’ FOOD CAKE

YEEEEEEEEAH OkaY DEAN

i literally just posted a fic where he eats angel food cake

AND DEAN WILLINGLY BOUGHT CAKE

BISEXUAL DEAN /  DESTIEL ALERT

also?? feeding a snake angel food cake? 10/10 good omens vibe

but also god no THE SNAKE DOESN’T EAT THAT but i love the journey they’re going on to find out what the snake eats

-

04:16

the fact dean panicked that jack was choosing the devil’s cake over the angel one

um

maybe he just liked chocolate

BUT ALSO

PROOF THAT CAKE ALWAYS REPRESENTS SOMETHING

-

04:18

the house lady has an mp3 player / headphones?? maybe she’s the centre of all this

edit: maybe they had pink headphones in the 1950s ????

-

04:19

bird poop all down cas’ car aww

-

04:21

like

i know everyone’s dying and it’s clearly terrible

but also i find the vibe of this town very calming

the clock ding-donging in the background especially, when cas visits mrs smith

also her apron is pretty

-

04:22

cas: “the tall man.......... hair? he has beautiful hair?”

that’s fucking c u t e

if dean heard that he would complain for 6 hours straight and not let it go, ever, and he’d say it’s because he doesn’t like sam’s hair but it’s secretly because he’s jealous, both of sam’s hair and also that cas thinks it’s beautiful

-

04:26

the “hey you’re a woman make me a drink/dinner” thing is highkey irking me though

unsure if that’s the town or just sam

then again he was clearly under the influence the first time he asked for coffee too

-

04:28

cas: “you will snap the hell out of it!!!”

sam: *flinches* “sir, you watch your mouth”

omg

-

04:30

haitch eee double hockey sticks

-

04:34

clearly jack does still have some soul because he cares about the snake

-

04:36

when the light gets his eyes like that he doubles in prettiness

-

04:44pm

THAT PARALLEL TO WHEN CAIN!DEAN DIDN’T STAB CAS

-

04:46

cas: “GOD HAS A BEARD”

-

04:49

cas: “yeah, i told him about the cardigan”

10/10 shoutout to the fact dean and cas talk off screen

-

04:51

“i’ll help you”

oh no is he gonna kill the snake

oh no oh no

-

04:52

oh maaaaaaaaaaan i dunno how i feel about that ending

and thus i don’t know how to feel about any of this

i loved the slowness and the softness of this

and i LOVED seeing so much of cas

but after the ending all my emotions just got steamrollered

i loved that the girl saved the day by overthrowing her abusive father but also not killing him and also giving him a nice ending, so to speak

i love that there was some representation in here even though i never caught anyone’s name besides sam’s “JUSTIN SMITH” and griffin

dean and cas seem to talk in the kitchen a lot which is nice !!!

i dunno i’m just sad about the snake... jack did the right thing maybe? but also i’m bummed out about it

sooo much snake/angel/cake symbolism <3

i’m looking forward to reading metas and stuff about this episode, especially about how the sam+cas stuff is actually dean/cas stuff in disguise, because frankly it kind of looked like it even though i could’t say how at this point i time

i FREAKING LOVE SEEING SAM AND CAS WORK TOGETHER THOUGH. SO MUCH. can only imagine how hard it was for misha and jared to film this though. especially the scene where cas reads the pornographic letters, and when jared is lying on top of misha

cas casually reading porn is the best

cas bringing sam out of hypnotism by relating to him about lost armies was probably my favourite part though

i mean, excluding the bits where dean and cas talk because dfjsdjgfd i love them i can’t help it

10/10 i guess? i can’t think about anything to complain about :P was a pretty good, solid, all-rounder, yay

[agl03]

Coulson’s Fate

I know that the TV Line spoiler we were graced with this week actually upset quite a few fans within the fandom.  So I wanted to do a meta on what my theories are as to what Coulson’s fate will be and what early theories as to how we will see Clark and Coulson back in the mix.  

I know that some fans whom Coulson is their favorite character have really struggled with this hiatus.  Clark has been hidden more than anyone else on the cast and they have gone out of their way to hide him.  And I want to say this is going to continue.  They did not film an entire season on total lockdown only to give away the thing they were trying to hide before the season starts.  So I’m really sorry to say we’ll have to hold tight a bit longer in that respect.  

I’ll start with the TV Line Spoiler:

I saw you visited the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. set. Any news on the Season 6 premiere date? Also, anything about Coulson’s return? –Jen

ABC has said nothing beyond “summer” yet for the premiere date. As for the other thing, no one I spoke to on set – where they were filming Season 6’s penultimate episode – spoke of Phil in the present tense. Take Chloe Bennet when I asked about Daisy’s state of mind when the season picks up, [REDACTED] amount of time after her mentor and father figure got dropped off in Tahiti to live out his final days. “In my mind, she has a bit more of a peace to her,” she said. “There is obviously the mourning of Coulson, but she’s also been through it all and she is genuinely stronger from it. She is not dealing with things as she has in the past. She has fully accepted her trauma and is moving forward in the most healthy way, for the first time.”

Something I really want to emphasize in this quote is that Chloe was referring to Daisy’s state of mind IN THE PREMIERE!  So anything that is to come with Coulson/Clarks return will not have happened yet for her character.  Nor is Chloe going to blow any of the details of Clark/Coulson’s return like this.  The cast and Matt have both been clearly instructed as to what they can and can’t reveal.  Even more, this isn’t a live interview (those are GOLD for picking up on clues) so sensitive and spoilery information will have been also redacted or saved for later like episode post interview after the episodes air.

Now let's dive into theory territory.

I still think we see the team completely split up as the season starts (yay theory from last season coming true not in the way I thought...again).   I still maintain May, Mack, Elena, and Deke are on earth.  Fitz has been Fitznapped or is trying to get home/lost in space possibly with Enoch.  And Jemma, Daisy, and the B Squad are on team Space Fitz Rescue.

If Daisy is in space she might even come back after Coulson’s surprise return...or they save that for she’s been back for a hot second and he pops out of a dark corner when everyone least suspects it.

Clark is listed in IMDB for the premiere so yes, this could be a boo boo.  It wouldn’t be the first time someone was listed in IMDB and then wasn’t in the episode.  I think no matter what, and this is gonna suck, that the premiere is going to really hammer home “Phil Coulson is dead”, there has been far too much emphasis on this at SDCC and in a few promo pieces to not see this continue.  They are going to want us to think he’s dead...so they can hit us with one heck of a plot twist later.  I am fully prepared to see flashbacks to Coulson dying kind of thing.

Clark is directing the Premiere.  When an actor does this that means they will be light in the Episode.  So any role Clark/Coulson does play in the premiere will be limited.  

In addition to being listed in 1 Clark also has doubles listed for 9, 11, 12, and 13.  Again.  This could be a boo boo but I doubt multiple stunt doubles would make this mistake.   I also acknowledge that this could be part of some sort of really long Arrowesque flashback kind of thing where there is a totally different story going in the past that is absolutely crucial to what is going on in the present.  That theory has to be on the table.  

I have said over and over throughout hiatus that I have no doubt that we will see Clark/Coulson again,  That is why I have been so chill with ‘spoilers’ that seem to say otherwise.  However, I don’t think (at least initially) he will be the Coulson we know and love.  There is always some sort of “Price to Pay” for defying death.  Nor do I think he’s back because of something the team does.  I think that the baddies will have done it.  The how and why Coulson is back is going to be one of the most important and crucial arcs all season.  

An arc such as this comes with some powerful story possibilities and common TV Tropes.

Philinda fans, I’m sorry but its gonna suck.  I’d caution to be prepared for a fight to get Coulson back and patience for them to be reunited...and even more time for their relationship to get back to where it was in the finale.  I would LOVE to be wrong on this.  As a long-suffering and frustrated Fitzsimmons fan, I don’t wish that kind of thing on any other ship.   But this is what the writers love to do with their major ships.  Tear them apart and make them fight to get back to each other.

By the same token I’d be super worried if they just get back together and all is well right when he makes his surprise return.

The team facing down their former mentor and leader who is now more of a villain is a common trope.  And I’m not going to lie.  I’d love to see Clark get the chance to play the baddie for a bit.  He would knock it out of the park.  You all remind me I said that when poop hits the fan.

This would be a very powerful arc for May, facing the man she loves.  Daisy her mentor and father figure who has the added surprise of coming back from space and walking into whatever has blown up when she was gone.  And Mack who is still trying to find his footing as Director and having to ‘go against’ their former leader.

Think Star Trek TNG Best of Both Worlds

It opens the door for some Coulson, May, and maybe some Shield backstory should they choose that whatever the McGuffin or baddie is is tied to their past somehow.  

What makes me so sure?

I wholly own that I have been wrong in the past and will be again.  “They would never kill Fitz” comes to mind.  But here is what I am looking at.

Clark said at the end of Season 5 he was meeting with the writers to see what they had in mind for him for Season 6.  IE The writers already had a story idea for how to bring him back in some way.

Clark and his doubles being listed in IMDB.

The cast is incredibly close.  We have seen cast members leave before and I saw NONE of that with Clark.  IE on IG no one comments on his posts “We miss you” (yes that is the kind of stuff I pay attention too).  If he was really gone from the show we would have seen more sadness from them at SDCC.  Rather they were giving me the we have a secret kind of vibe.

The Lockdown.  The show has had big guest stars before but never this level of lockdown.  This level is to hide someone who is there nearly daily.  Not a guest star who is usually done in a few episodes.  The cast and crew had to get posts approved.  The makeup trailer blurred out pictures.  And things considered too spoilery yanked down.  

Clark has been doing events with the cast and for ABC still.

I hope this offers some hope for fans who are concerned about Coulson’s return.  Hang tight, it's going to get worse before it gets better because I think they are going to continue to hammer on the “Phil Coulson is dead thing” so they can hit us with a plot twist later.  For example, if the cast does go to Wondercon I doubt Clark is with them unless they use the cover of him directing the Premiere to bring him in.  

There are going to be more spoilers that start to come out as the premiere gets closer that will not include Clark and Coulson.  Press Releases, Synopsis’s, Cast Pics, Press, and the trailer are all things that he may be kept out of to sell the ruse “Phil Coulson is Dead”.  I completely understand this is nothing but frustrating and disheartening when its your favorite character.  But do not take that out of whoever gives the spoilers, the cast, crew, or other fans.  This is a deliberate promo decision the show made nearly a year ago now.  

Believe me, I get this pain.  I was tearing my hair out last season waiting for Iain to return from filming Overlord and then for Fitz to be back on the show.  And we had solid confirmation he’d be back.  I’d seen pics of him on set.  My frustration and “patience” was rewarded with Rewind and Fun & Games but it doesn’t change how miserable I was while I was in the dark and waiting to see him again or how much I missed Fitz/Fitzsimmons together in 1-4.

Again, I would LOVE to be wrong here but feel like they’ve come too far with hiding him to go back now.

Remember the fandom is here to support each other through this hiatus.

[angesaurus]

Coffee date ?

I am going into today positive - happy - hopeful. So if you could think about me today and shoot a prayer/vibe/good thought whatever towards me that would be lovely.

Life is starting to get crazy again. We had a little break after new years but soccer starts this weekend, we have a birthday party in NJ on Saturday, and appts and stuff coming up which means running around like a crazy person.

Still meditating 👍🏼 but I’m focusing on a solid 10 minutes every morning rather than rushing to get it done twice a day. Noticing my practice has been more mindful and helpful. My alarm is set for 5:30, but if I’m up before that I just do it. Gives me time to do it plus sit with coffee for a bit before Gavin is up.

I was panicking a little about bills (that post Christmas period) but I’m just waiting for 3 more things to come out this week, and we’re fine, plenty left over (and then Dan gets paid Friday and his checks are bigger). Plus Dan still didn’t get paid for soccer (🙄) so at this point I’ll take that money and throw it towards things Gavin needs (night pull ups, etc) and a couple other things. Dan’s car is going for inspection on MLK day and that’s always anxiety inducing so we’ll see what happens with that. Damn PA and their yearly inspection lol

One of Gavin’s fish is dying. How do you tell an almost 4 year old his fish is dead? I feel like he will understand but will think it’s hilarious if we flush it down the toilet (also, should we do that???? I feel like it’s not good for the environment/sewer system but it seems extremely creepy to throw it out in the trash). I haven’t had a dead fish in years and I can’t remember what we did with it.

I need a new lunchbox and Gavin needs a new backpack. My only thing with backpacks is I HATE characters and I wish he would pick a fun design instead but no we’ll end up with Mario or thanos or something 🤦🏻‍♀️ life with a boy

I’ve been living for avocado toast lately and even purposely making it in the AM before work (it definitely won’t sit as well overnight!)

Well my child is up, and he’s talking about poop so my morning quiet is done lol

Love u all - good vibes! 💩

[winstonhcomedy]

“Dope A-F” - 5/1-5/7 - “Lot’s of Shows, A Riot at Castleburg, and Do You Have Twitter?”

I GOT BEHIND AGAIN!!! WHY LAYDEES WHYYYY!!! You’ve got to keep me on my toes lovely ones. I will get these shows done. I have a lot of mics to get caught up on, but I know we can do it! So let’s get right to it! xoxo

5/1

I was trying to hit three mics tonight. It was going to be tough, but I knew I could do it. It was also Jacob McFadden’s last night hosting Home Sweet Home before he moved to PA.

My night started by doing a happy hour and hanging with some coworkers for a bit. After that I headed to Main Stage Cafe which is the home of Jay Ron’s Weak on Wednesday’s comedy show. This was the first time I was going to be able to check it out.

I got there early to sign up, and got some fried chicken Mac and cheese. I met up with Bryan Williams, and we hung out and chatted. I took a phone call with another comic about some stuff they were gong through and wanted to discuss with me, and then when I came back in more comedians started to show up.

Jay Ron gets there and he tells us he is gong to wait for a few people to get there before the show starts. There are a few comics doing the open mic, and a few for the booked portion.  This is an urban show, so it was an exclusively black audience. Which is fine with me I love working these rooms. It’s a great way to try new stuff, and see if your material works across different groups.

I am told I am going to be up second. First is Bryan. He goes up after Jay Ron and they don’t really vibe with him at all. He gets a few laughs, but his self deprecating style doesn’t really click with he 8 or 9 people that are there.

After he gets off it is my turn. Jay Ron brings me up on stage saying I am his, “n word” and that gets a laugh. I then go up and go right into crowd work. Bryan asked if anyone used facebook and no one responded so I riffed on a lady who is obviously lying because she has been on Facebook this entire show. I then talk to a single lady about if she ever been with white guys she said no in a negative tone so I riffed on her being racist, and then went into my material. I talked about teaching and it got some good responses.

I felt good about my set because I feel like I woke the crowd up, and got them involved. I love being able to be the one to crack them, and make the show better for other comics. I’d give my set a B-. Some of the crowd work was lame, but it worked, and the material did as well.

I left immediately and headed over to Emiliio’s hosted by Sho. I was hoping I’d be able to get up quickly before heading over to HSH. I walk up to the venue and it looks empty. I walk in and there are like 5 or 6 people talking at the bar and Sho says I can go up if I want. Apparently only one other comic Aaron Shoemaker even did Emilio’s that night. Which is a shame that people did not take advantage of another mic so close to HSH.

I tell him I’m ready to go up and I have a super fun 10 minute set. I try all new stuff, and the people there are super into it. I riff quite a bit, and try some stuff including my R. Kelly joke (which has been doing pretty well) and legit this is one of the more fun poorly attended mics I’ve done in a while. I’d give this set a B+. I talk to Sho a bit and then head over to HSH.

I get there and it is packed. Like legit. The show is starting in five minutes and there are about 30 comics signed up, and an actual crowd, and Jacob is starting to get super emotional.

Comics drove from all over to go up.  Some came from DC just to get a spot and say goodbye, which was really dope to see. The comics meeting was held outside and it seemed like Jacob was going to cry. I take a few pictures, and then head inside. Everybody is here. Beswick, Velez, Anthony, Kusterer, Engle, Mike Shea (Brown Frown the Clown), Stella, Richard Woody, Alex Dejulio (came from DC) Bryan, and so many others including some newbies.

The crowd is into the show from the beginning. It is jammed upstairs so you people are having to stand all the way down the stairs and it is awesome. I am up eighth and I am watching comic after comic go up and have a good set. I am so nervous, but also so ready to go.

Finally it is my turn. I go up and Jacob gives me a classic bad intro saying that I am a bad guy that everyone hated, and that I lie about teaching at a school for autism. It makes me laugh and I go up. I do a little light crowd work. I talk to a new comic who is chatty and says his name is also Jacob, and I am like, “I like old Jacob better, this new Jacob is too chatty.” That gets a laugh and then I go into my material and I have a pretty hot set. Some things don’t hit as well as others, but everything gets a laugh and my R. Kelly joke hits really hard. This is the joke I am enjoying doing the most right now,. I also used my last 30 seconds to say something nice to Jacob and just when he was getting ready to cry I made sure to throw a joke in. I’d give this set a solid A-.

I get off stage and feel super good. After me is Anthony and he has a hot set as well. I go downstairs after his and just relax and chill. I am enjoying talking to everybody and just being in the moment. I make sure to stick around for Brown Frown the Clown. I also make sure to watch Jacob give Richard Woody the worst intro of all time. He finally got to do the bit again where he brings Richard Woody up as a convicted sex offender which he has done to Richard for the last 6 years of comedy. It got a laugh and Richard said some kind words and then got off stage.

When it is Brown Frown’s turn to go up all the comics try to pack it in upstairs. People are standing on the steps and even sitting on the floor. I make sure to make my way to the front to get some good pictures. Brown Frown is a drunken clown character created by Mike Shea and a staple of RVA comedy for years and years.

This performance he pretended to be breaking up with Jacob and the set included suicide jokes, sex with poop, sex with dolls, sex with Jacob, used condoms, maggots in someone’s pee hole, and parody songs about his love for Jacob. It was the best Mike Shea performance I have ever seen.  It made me laugh so hard and I am so glad I was there to witness it. Afterwards I headed downstairs said my goodbyes and headed home. This had been a long but fun night doing comedy in Richmond.

5/3

No mics so I took off Thursday. There was also nothing going on in RVA on Friday and I wasn’t booked so I hopped on three shows in DC. I got off work and headed straight up there. I was in traffic for what felt like forever and a 2 hour drive ended up taking about 3 1/2. I get there and park where I usually do. I take a 30 minute walk to get to Comedy Club DC (at Club Heaven and Hell) which is Tom Mango’s room.

I get there and go inside. I talk to Tom for a bit. It is crazy hot upstairs because the AC isn’t on yet. Reid Clark is hosting, and he and I watch this video about how Anthony Jeselnik built his newest hour. After this some people start to show up, but we are warned it is going to be a light crowd. I grab my stuff and move to another table.

Mark Mensh a comic from up there and I had a super long nice talk. We talked about comedy and he said a lot of nice things about the blog which honestly means a lot. I don’t know I assume no one reads this so when someone else does, and they tell me things they enjoy about it it really gives me the energy to keep doing it.

We then talked about him moving into the city, and how shows have been. We talked about Gary Gulman and his everyday tips, and just continued to discuss the art of comedy. It was a nice and very fun talk.

More and more comics showed up. I met a few, but it is mostly people I don’t know at all. Bob Siegel was there and I met a dude named Jamal. We are all chilling and the show finally gets started with about 11 people there.

Tom gets in a Gumby outfit and goes up to introduce Reid as host. The first half of the show is people going up and trying to crack them. It is tough because it seems like no one is able to do it. They’ll chuckle a little, but the energy is never there, and the audience definitely needed to wake up.

Comic after comic goes up. A few do well, and a few do ok. Most don’t do very well at all. Tom is freaking out, but it is no one’s fault. These are a lot of newer and inexperienced comics, and being able to wake up a tough crowd is definitely a skill you have to develop.

Finally it is my turn. I go up and do 15. My only goal is to make the show better for everyone else after me. I have to do some crowd work, and slowly get them on my side. I get a few huge pops, and really won them over. I was sweating so much, and working my ass off. Not my best set, but it was super productive. I felt like I got the room ready for comedy, and did my job as the dude closing the first half of the show. I got to do a lot of newer stuff and it worked like I’d been doing it for a while. I’d give my set a B.

After this Tom went up and did his time. He got a few laughs, and I just hope the next few comics can really grab onto the momentum and ride it.  After him everybody started to do really well. You could tell the crowd wanted jokes, and since I got on stage another 20 or so people had come into the venue. They all had good energy and everybody did well. Even though I wouldn’t say I got the biggest laughs of the night by any means, I definitely felt good about what I had done. Mark had a good set, and a few other dudes I had never seen before really did well as well. It was nice to see.

After this I said goodbye and thanked Tom for the time. I hopped in an Uber and headed over to DC Drafthouse to do Attack of the Comics hosted by Haywood Turnipseed JR.

I get there and I am a little early. I meet a comic from NYC named Irene who is down for a music festival, and I got to walk to a few comics I hadn’t seen in a while. I got to talk to Benjy for a bit because he was opening for Anthony Devito for the two early shows. Ross showed up, and finally Haywood decided to get the show rolling. I was going to be going second so I could hit Big Hunt.

Haywood goes up and does about 10 to 15 and gets the crowd warmed up. I can tell they are gong to be fun.  After him Al Williams goes up. He just moved back, and he had a good set. After him it was my turn.

I go up and have a super hot set. Everything is working. My R. Kelly joke absolutely murders. I am so upset that I left my camera in my car like an idiot. I am desperately trying to get a good video of that joke so I can post it online before it becomes wack. The rest of my set goes well and I close really hard with a teaching joke. I'd give this set an A-. Other than a few lines up top that were weird everything worked great. I say thanks and hit the road heading over to Big Hunt.  Ross tells me he dug the R.Kelly joke and I respect that dude a lot so that felt great.

I get to Hunt and people are hanging out downstairs. Sami Sfeir is hosting and there is a good conversation about strip clubs going on downstairs. I get to talk to Lafayette, Cook, Sean, Maddy, and a few others. Naomi showed up and we got to talk about some school stuff she has coming up soon so that was nice.

I am set to go up pretty late in the show so I settle in ready to hang for a while. then I get the glorious news that Ross isn’t there yet so I get bumped up a few spots. The crowd has been drunk and weird all night. They didn’t really give Maddy anything in front of me. It derailed her set and their attention was all over the place. They didn’t seem fun, but I had to go up and work it.

I had a pretty good set all things considered. I hated it, but I know it was going pretty well. I got the R.Kelly joke to work well, and a few other things. They were drunk so I had to slow down what I was saying and try to sell it really hard. I feel good about it though. I just didn’t murder the way I wanted to. I’d give this set a b-. I then grabbed my stuff and headed right to my car. I was too tired to go home so I ended up going to TJs and passing out immediately. I have two shows tomorrow and I need my rest.

5/4

The next day I woke up and relaxed for a while before driving down to Richmond. I was going to be there pretty early and was looking for something to do. I was getting ready to go to a friend’s to take a nap but then Nathan Possum (my old partner from Comics and Consoles and the creator of Barry White Hanson) hit me up and we got lunch.

It was a lot of fun seeing him. We talked about comedy, and possibly bringing back Comics and Consoles in another form than the let’s play. Mostly we just caught up and talked shit. It was a super fun time and the best way to wind down before the first show.

I had e-mailed Mike Engle for a spot earlier in the week, but I wanted to get there early to write and relax. I head over to Castleburg Brewery to set up shop. I chill in my car a bit and then head inside once Bryan Williams gets there. We chill and talk a bit and more comics show up.

Mike gets there, a bunch of new comics, Stella, Ryan Mather, the headliners (Tim Truehart, Drew Robertson), Moe Singleton, Aaron Shoemaker, and  Ben Oliver.. We get a game of corn hole going, and legit it is one of the better hangs I’ve had doing comedy in a while. Everybody is joking around and we keep playing until showtime.

The way Game of Jokes works is you have several brackets of randomly selected comics. You don’t know when you’re going up, but when you go up you do 5 minutes and at the end of the round the audience votes on who they like, and it is up to the two judges to pick who they think had the best set. The only thing you win is an extra five minutes. Which is cool, but honestly it doesn’t matter that much.

Around the time the show starts Anthony Thompson shows up. The hang is still pretty good and there is a nice little audience. Mike goes up and he does ok. They are not vibing with his new, but I respect that he was trying to work out this new joke anyway. The first comic is this dude named Fancy Gym and he does a bit where he brings a huge red bag on stage and he goes “knock knock”. The audience goes, “who’s there”? He says, “banana,” and then proceeds to take a banana out of the bag. He does this for 5 minutes and brings out about 70+ bananas, when he finally gets to the orange it gets a pretty good laugh. He messed up the line, but it was entertaining to watch.  Kind of ridiculous, and five minutes is a long ass time to see that.

I then get a phone call and go outside. it is a dude trying to book me for a gig on Mother’s Day. While we are working out the details someone comes out and tells me it is my time to go on stage. I am kind of freaking out because this is a paid gig, but at the same time I’m not trying to ruin the show.  I ask the booker to let me call him back and as I am running inside I hear one of the judges yell, “if he doesn’t hang up that damn phone, and get in here he is gong to get bumped.” Which I felt was a little aggressive.

I get up on stage and go into my act and I have a super hot set. My R.Kelly joke gets a huge response and then I do a few teaching jokes along with my newish bit about sleep masks. I have the best set up to this point of the show. I dealt with a table of hecklers calling them juggalos after I mention Faygo, and then shitting on them a bit. They loved it and all in all it was a really fun set I was proud of. I’d give it a B+/A-.

I get off stage and go finish my phone call. I get done right as the final comic is on stage. I asked how people have been doing, and everyone says the rest of the comics in my group did ok/pretty well. I have another set to get to this night so I don't particularly want to make it to the next round, but it is definitely cool to be picked.

They ask the audience to vote for everybody. Each person gets a pretty good response, but I had a resounding response for my set. It felt cool to be able to crack them, and set the rest of the show up for success. Then it came time for the judges to pick. Tim picked his buddy Jacob who rode up with him, and Drew picked my buddy Ryan. No big deal. I was surprised but at the same time this solves the problem of sticking around for the second set.

They then have the audience vote between those two. They say Jacob’s name and no one really claps. They then say Ryan’s name and no one really claps. Mike goes, “ok well we are going to have to do it again.” As he says this a woman behind one of the judges goes, “everyone did really well, but this is bullshit we all know Winston won,” and then the crowd went insane. Like absolutely nuts. It was giving me so much anxiety because I’d never seen something like this before. In the moment it sucked, but looking back it was a pretty cool thing. One judge goes, “he is not in this so you need to pick between the two we picked.” This upset them a bit, and I had to go and be like, “hey everybody. It is ok. Pick between my friends this is a fun show.” After this they finally picked and they moved on. Tim went on stage and started his set talking about how he voted for who he rode with because he has to go back with them. Which is fine, and got a good laugh. I didn’t watch most of his set because I was feeling weird.

I went outside to kind of unwind. Like that whole situation gave me a lot of anxiety. It was weird for that to happen and feel like it was derailing the show. The vibe was just weird and I didn’t really want to be around it. While I was outside with my friends talking and relaxing the Drew dude came out to me and was like, “you had a wonderful set.” I told him he didn’t have to lie to me. I wasn’t upset, but for him to not vote for me it just means he didn’t dig my comedy which was ok. This stuff is subjective, the dude was obviously an alt comic and it wasn’t his cup of tea. He kept trying to talk to me, and I told him I didn’t want to talk. I was having an anxiety attack and this wasn’t productive. He said I had good stage presence and I was like, “dude. I do not want to hear why you didn’t pick me. It is ok, but this isn’t productive and I don’t want to hear it.” He finished with, “I’ll just shut up.” I told him that was a good idea and he went inside.

This also gave me more anxiety, but I feel like I did the right thing. It was weird for him to come out and try to smooth stuff over. I felt like everyone was making this thing a bigger deal than it was. I also just hate people being fake. Like he didn’t think I had a wonderful set. So it doesn’t make sense to lie to me about it. I felt like I didn’t get voted for because I’m a hack (I suffer from imposter syndrome quite a bit). I still hung out and watched some more of the show. I stuck around to watch part of his set, and they didn’t vibe with him up top for first few minutes so I grabbed my stuff and headed out. The vibe was wack, and I was upset because of how much fun the day was up until that point.

I got in my car as it started to rain and headed to the warehouse show I was going to be on. It is on the other side of town and it was hosted by Tom Hall.  The lineup is going to be fun, and I’m just ready to get there.

I get there at 10:40 and the show was supposed to start at 9:30 and it hadn’t started yet. Tom is pretty drunk and everyone is hanging out. It is a good vibe, and I tell a few people the story from Castleburg which alleviates some of my anxiety. LE Zarling is there as is Anne Meng, Kusterer, Paige, Buhse, Alida, Muñoz Jarvis, and a lot of others.

They have me going last and I have to ask them to bump me up because I’m exhausted and I cannot go up at 12:45 in the morning. They let me go first and we get the show started. Tom goes up and warms them up for ten minutes, and then I get to have a pretty good set.

It is as well as a show like this could go. Two doors down there is a hip hop show, and everyone had been here drinking since 8 pm. I have a good opening line thanking people for coming to a show on the set of Saw 3. That gets a good pop and the rest of my set goes well. I do ten minutes and I’d give it a B. I still feel weird, but I am proud I did my set.

After I get off stage several comics from Castleburg show up. Including Stella, Anthony, and the judge Drew. The show keeps going on and everybody is having fun. I find the cupcakes Tom made and shove about three in my mouth (I eat when I’m anxious). As the show continues the Drew guy comes up to me and we talk about it. He apologizes and I do the same. He is a nice guy and we talk comedy for a bit and it ends well. This immediately eliminates a lot of my weird feelings and we both get to enjoy the rest of the night. I think he understood where I was coming from, and got that it was a weird thing to try and do. I definitely understand he probably had good intentions, but it was not the time for it while dealing with my anxiety.

Everyone is having ok sets. I think I got the sweet spot because of how tired people were. Some people did well and people were coming and going. I had a blast and would totally do it again. Paige went up and worked some stuff out and it was definitely good to see. He and I talk for a bit and then I say goodbye to everyone. Stella and I talk about my anxiety and the night. This definitely helps. I feel a lot better afterwards and I get all my hugs in with my friends. It was truly a weird, but amazing night. I head home and pass out!

5/6

The open mic at The Southern was cancelled so I decided to do Jkogi. After work I kind of just hang around and relax. I get dinner and watch some tv and really just wind down.

I then head over to Jkogi a little early and get a nice hang in. Jack Parker is there and then Mike Engle shows up. I am trying to write some stuff down and figure it out. Ryan Mather comes in with his wife to chill. Eventually a bunch of comics are there. Moe, Rebecca, Anthony, Ben Oliver, and some others show up. The hang and vibe is pretty chill.

Kate is hosting and she has the comic meeting. I am going first and I am definitely ready to go. She goes up and works out some material about her car accident. She talks about a drawer in her car that has tampons on it. She brings me up next.

I get on stage and riff that it was exciting to find out that Kate doesn’t know that the drawer is called a glove box. This gets a laugh and I work out some material It all goes pretty well until Jacob McFadden comes in drunk and throws me off a bit (he loves doing this). I close super weak but that’s ok. I'd give this set a C-.

I get off and go outside. I decide to watch Jacob’s set. We are all hanging outside. I make a bunch of memes with him and Nate Izqieurdo and Jacob makes a setlist of what he is going to do.

I go in to film and watch him and the runs the hell out of the light. it is five minute sets and he does 10. His set is really funny, and I am glad I get to see some of those jokes one last time. He is absolutely wasted and is stepping on some of his own punchlines and messing up wording, but it was magical. Afterwards I say my goodbyes, and head out.

5/7

I am so excited for today. It is going to be three mics, and it is teacher appreciation week. So after work Kenn, Alex and I go grab some CiCi’s pizza. Which is legit one of my favorite restaurants. 

We talk about Endgame, Game of Thrones, our buddy Paige, comedy, and everything in-between. While at dinner Pat Buhse posts that Mojos is cancelled for the night because their computers are down. so now my only spots are going to be Vagabond and Fallout. 

I get to Vagabond and go in. There is one other comic and two dudes from DC hanging out. The other comic is Jack Parker and he goes up and does like 10 minutes. After him the two guys ask if I will go up.

I go up and do about 25 minutes of the most offensive stuff I have ever written. It is the kind of stuff they are into, and I haven't done that material in a long time. I don’t know if I worked any of it out, but they really enjoyed it. I felt good about myself while doing it, and realized how I dig those jokes but a lot of that stuff just doesn’t fit in my act anymore. I’d give this set a B- because it is very productive and I don’t think I could have made those two dudes laugh harder with anything else. 

One of the dudes goes up and he opens by saying R.Kelly didn’t do it, he is Afghan so he didn’t do 9/11, and that he f**cks really hard with the environment. He does his act and gets a few laughs and has a seat. It was a fun cool time. I had a blast. I grab my stuff and tell Jack I’ll meet him at Fallout.

I get to Fallout and talk to the bartender Shelby. I wait for some other comics to get there, including the host Jesse. The hang is good and Jesse finally shows up. He and I catch up and talk about what shows we have coming up. He tells me about the stuff he is going through with his dog and it is really tough to hear I feel for that dude.

Alex and Beswick show up along with Ben, Jack, Anne, Alida, Mu with Paula, and a lot of other comics. A bunch of newer guys so this is going to be fun.

I am up third. So Jesse warms them up, then Beswick works out his material (he has some really good shit cooking right now), then Jack goes and does a Kegel act out to close out, before I get on stage. 

I go up and I can’t get anything going. There is a nice little crowd and I am just eating shit on stage. There is a dude talking right at the stage and I try to address it and it doesn’t work. I have weird energy, and I have no won anyone over. Every bit that has been working lately is just dying on stage. I then do a bit and a girl in the audience goes, “do you have twitter? Because I know I’ve heard that before.” She is basically accusing me of stealing a bit off of Twitter and this sends me in a spiral. I finish my ten minutes and this set sucked. Even though I got laughs I feel like I am a piece of shit and a hack. I’d give this set an F. 

The first thing I do is go in the back and talk to Alex. We are busting balls, but I look up the joke online. I find one line of it on Twitter, but it’s an opening line. It is not the joke. I can’t find the joke anywhere, but I am leaning towards dropping it altogether (I eventually just rewrite it). I legit can’t handle that. Being a hack is the last thing I want. I want to be funny and relatable. I don’t want to play to the back of the room, but I also want to be respected.

 I am in a horrible headspace, but Brandon, and Alex talk me down.  They tell me to do some breathing exercises, and we all talk about stuff we used to deal with. They bust my balls some more, but I watch Alex’s set (really good. hot one for that crowd) and afterwards I grab my stuff and go. We talk a bit outside and I do some breathing exercises in my car before heading home to pass out!

We did it laydees! Caught up again. I’ve got some fun shows this week, and the rest of the month. Tonight I am in Blackstone near where I grew up. We will see if I am a draw at all in that area (forecast says not even a little bit.) I will be back tomorrow sweetie pies! xoxoxo