#and an absolute waste of a fantastic game

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

How about Navia, Jean, Ei, Natasha, and Himeko being challenged to a duel for S/O's hand?

(Genshin Impact/H:SR) Clorinde, Navia, Jean, Ei, Natasha, and Himeko being challenged to a duel for S/O's love

The only duel I'd probably win against these gals is a game of Warhammer, and even then that's not favorable for me because of my dice rolls.

Clorinde has accepted a duel over many foolish reasons, but this one took the crown in biggest offense to her.

First of all, they weren't even married. (As much as the thought makes her heart slightly race, thinking if they would ever like to settle down, but this was a thought process for another day.)

Secondly, they were treating S/O as an object, and that was slander on them Clorinde would not take sitting down.

She sets her tea down and her voice appears to be normal, but her eyes glare at her challenger with a ferocity that no one has seen before.

(Clorinde) "...Very well, I accept this duel."

When the time arrives, Clorinde absolutely demolishes them within seconds, striking their sword out of their hand before they had a chance to react.

She fights against the tiny voice within to humiliate them, she must remain objective as Champion Duelist. S/O's honor and hand in marriage has been protected, and in the end that was all that mattered.

When she returns home, Clorinde is a bit more clingy than usual.

(S/O) "Clorinde? Is something wrong?"

Clorinde restrains the sigh threatening to leave her lips and simply shakes her head, resting onto their shoulder further.

(Clorinde) "Nothing important."

Navia is VERY offended.

S/O wasn't some kind of trophy husband/wife to be passed around, they were hers, and hers alone!

(Navia) "Back off, S/O is taken!"

If they didn't get the message, then she'd make sure they would at the business end of her umbrella.

And this time, there were actual bullets with the person's name on it. (Nonlethal ammo, of course.)

After soundly defeating the pest, Navia puts on her sunglasses as she crosses her arms smugly.

(Navia) "If you excuse me, I have a date to attend!"

Marching off happily, she almost throws open the door to S/O's room.

(Navia) "S/O! We're going to eat out for lunch, my treat!"

(S/O) "GAH! N-Navia, you scared me! What's the occasion-"

(Navia) "To show off that we are the most fantastic couple in Fontaine!"

(S/O) "...O-Okay?"

Jean gives a puzzled look to her challenger.

What century did they think this was? That kind of practice was outdated, even back then around Mondstadt.

She really doesn't have time to waste on this kind of nonsense, especially since S/O was her lover.

Jean flat out rejects to duel, much to the teasing of her fellow Knights.

(Kaeya) "My, how interesting. The Acting Grand Master's lover is being sought after!"

(Jean) "It's quite irritating. They insist on a duel..."

(Lisa) "All the better to accept it and show that your love for them is not to be trifled with, right, Jean?"

(Jean) sigh "You two are not helping."

When Jean returns home, she is greeted by the smile she loves the most.

(S/O) "Welcome home...You okay? You seem annoyed-"

(Jean) "I apologize, there's this person that insists they duel me for your hand."

(S/O) "...We're married?"

(Jean) "Apparently now we are..."

She doesn't even have the time to register what the implications of that were and be flustered, that's how annoyed she is.

Many of the soldiers under Ei's command are both shocked and confused.

First of all, who the hell would duel the Almighty Shogun for her lover?!

They had to be both insane and stupid to try that.

And more importantly, this person didn't realize that asking for a duel in Inazuma, usually resulted it in being to the death.

Something which Ei has no problem providing.

(Ei) "You are bold to challenge me for such a prize. However, S/O is not yours to have. You will leave this room without a lover and your life."

Ei is so offended by this fool's audacity that she pulls out the Musou no Hitotachi to completely eradicate this person from reality.

Which she is stopped last minute by both Yae and S/O.

(Ei) "Miko, S/O? Why are you stopping me?"

(Yae) "I don't think this person was quite aware of the etiquette here in Inazuma, Ei."

(S/O) "Not that you'd ever lose to begin with, but I'd stay with you no matter what! Y-You can uh...put the sword down now."

Ei nods before the sword vanishes from her hand, glaring at the idiot who was moments away from getting atomized.

(Ei) "I will permit you to leave this place with your life. See to do so with all haste, my patience is not as eternal as S/O's."

S/O breathes a massive sigh of relief.

(Yae) "Hm, perhaps to prevent this you should host a festival to all of Inazuma, declaring your love to S/O?"

(Ei) "Hm...-"

(S/O) "OH GODS, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT."

Natasha thinks this person was joking at first.

Until seeing the fire in their eyes, making her roll her own.

(Natasha) "If you think that's how love works around here, then I'm afraid you're sorely mistaken."

Natasha had half a mind to throw this person out her doors and onto the concrete, she's a doctor, not some uppity noble.

Many of her kids are angry, thinking that person could snatch S/O away like that, and plan to teach them a lesson they won't forget!

Until S/O stops them, and going to her.

(S/O) "Nat? The kids are saying that I might get taken away from you? The heck are they on about?"

Natasha sighs as her fingers pinch the bridge of her nose.

(Natasha) "Short story is, some idiot wanted to duel for your hand."

(S/O) "Hah, at this point I'd say you should accept to please the kids, Nat-"

(Natasha) "I'm almost tempted to so I can have the excuse to shoot them for having the audacity..."

S/O hugged her from behind, letting their head rest on her shoulder and talking in a teasing tone.

(S/O) "Don't you want to prove your love for me?~"

Natasha chuckles, one hand brushing their cheek as she leaned back.

(Natasha) "Aren't I already for even considering?"

Well, this was certainly a first for Himeko.

She never thought she'd be challenged to a fight for something so stupid, at least involving S/O.

(Himeko) "I'm afraid S/O is taken no matter what you do. Even if we did come to blows, I assure you it would not end well."

Even if she didn't fight, March 7th and the Trailblazer would dogpile said challenger with a ferocity to match her coffee.

But this was funny as hell, at the very least.

Back on the Astral Express, she relays this tale to S/O who was away at the time.

(S/O) "...They wanted to what?"

(Himeko) "Yes, S/O. You're indeed so beautiful that I was literally challenged to a duel right then and there."

(S/O) "I don't know if I should be offended or flattered."

Himeko laughed as she held their arm, though a bit tighter than usual.

(Himeko) "Personally for me, it's a mixture of both. I'm glad people are recognizing your grace, but it's reserved for me, I would think."

S/O kisses Himeko on the cheek and smiles.

(S/O) "Hah, you'd be correct, Himeko."

[cheesus-doodles]

Yoo, it’s Winky Wink. Since your reader has always been the innocent to a fault type and very motherly, I wonder how tr boys will react if reader is the typical girl in shoujo manga? I am not talking about the protagonist of the shoujo manga, but those fan girls in the bg. This reader is very girly, she follow the trend, knows every hot boys at the school, attend sport gams to meet the star of the sport club and such. Although the toman or the tr boys are good looking themselves, but reader doesn’t see them as men or potential love interest, so she always gushing about how hot this sempai from class b is and such with them. Reader might be even drag them to clothing stores, so the boys can be the judge the outfit for her potential future dates. I also can see this reader complaining and whining on how her youth is wasted when this is the prime time to fall in love and such.

Y'know, that type of girl, lol.

the vote has spoken! i've watched exactly one (1) shoujo anime, and that was fruit basket - decided to write this as each boy on their own cause writing them as a whole group is getting too predictable...

Masterlist

‎‎

Mikey: Gets very annoyed and pissy whenever you act like that around him, and will look to eliminate the threat outright and as soon as possible. Don't get him wrong, Mikey likes that you put effort into what you wear and how you look, and would be more than happy to go with you to the store since being seen next to such a pretty princess is an ego booster whether he actually liked you that way or not. But he doesn't like in the slightest that you aren't doing it just for him. This boy simply can’t understand what’s so fantastic about anyone else but him, and absolutely will not stand for this disre spect - how dare you call another boy hot in front of him? How dare you fawn over some shit stain instead of focusing all your attention on pampering him? Starts off whining and trying to pull you away, insisting that you give him the affection he deserves and forbidding you from going to sport games, but when this doesn’t work is when the Toman President starts to get downright pissed. This delinquent couldn't be more bothered to learn who is popular or why you are shrieking about someone else, the moment they catch your attention is the moment they are going down. Sports stars, older students, really don't matter, Mikey will find them and he will beat the shit out of every single one of them the next time he catches them around. He wouldn’t care if there is an audience or not, or whether you are part of the eyes watching, this blond boy makes sure that he puts all these threats out for good by breaking their noses and maybe an arm or a leg. Not going to be so hot if they can barely stand. Grumpily returns for cuddles in your lap once he’s done.

ㅤ

Draken: Much more lenient with gossip than Mikey will ever be, but will not hesitate to punish any rule-breaking on his watch, be it you or the poor student getting dragged into your mess. This boy thinks it probably just a phase, since the brothel girls back home do the same thing albeit with celebrities rather than school boys, and that you will get over it soon, so Draken will be more than happy to indulge you in your complaining and whining like he does for his adoptive family. Lets you rant to him about the latest trends and all the guys you think are hot shots (though be prepared for this blond boy to interject with his own thoughts about the subject and how he could easily beat them all). Enjoys going shopping with you, and will give you his opinion on whether the outfit was appropriate or not, but this boy is already ready to never let you take even a step closer to those disgusting boys. And will absolutely not even discuss the mere idea of you dating them *shudders*. If the Toman Vice Captain hasn’t already had them dragged away and threatened by the rest of the Toman members, Draken will simply redirect you every time you try to go and meet/see one of those “hot boys”. Doesn’t like to have to beat people up in your presence, so he’ll turn you around when you try to make your way to a sports game or another classroom, but if you persist, this boy has no issue simply picking you up, tucking you under his elbow and walk off and out of your school. Plops you onto his motorbike and takes you somewhere else to distract you.

ㅤ

Mitsuya: Understands everything that you are saying and where you are coming from, but already dreading the day that his younger sisters become interested in boys (if ever). Because he already feels horrid that you have reached that phase, can’t imagine having to deal with it another two times, but Mitsuya would never tell you that. This boy is generally pretty level headed and doesn’t like to fight without very good reason, so rest assured that he will not be beating your schoolmates right and left if they don’t give him any excuse to do so. More likely to discourage you from pursuing boys at your school by getting the best gossip scoops about them and letting you in on all the reasons you should stay away from boys like them. And I don’t doubt that he would be against starting those nasty rumors himself either - he didn’t say that he wouldn’t play dirty. At least the one part he really enjoys is going clothes shopping with you, and out of all the Toman founders, you just know the Second Division Captain has the best fashion sense and will never lead you astray. Would even design and make the clothes himself if you let him, because it would be a good excuse to close to him and too busy to attend sport games and all. Of course you will have to spend all your free time with the crafting club and going fabric shopping with Mitsuya, you want your outfits to turn out perfect, don’t you?

ㅤ

Baji: Beats them at their own game. You want a sports star? Guess he’s joining the sport clubs just to show you he can do way better than any other student in the school. Baji doesn’t attend the same school as you? Doesn’t matter either, by hook or by crook, he’ll join your school’s club anyway. Will show you that he is the superior athlete once and for all, and that your so-called hot boys aren’t shit next to him. This boy will even happily humiliate the entire club in the process, bragging that he doesn’t even need training to sweep the floor with them (what he doesn’t tell you is that he secretly practices by himself, but eh). The only thing he won’t be able to beat them at is academics, but he is definitely not below sabotaging the others so that they do worse than him, be it by breaking their fingers so they can’t write, or something more mundane like putting their ‘confiscated’ homework through the toilet while they watch. Doesn’t want to risk losing you over something as petty as him throwing hands with your schoolmates or your disgustingly precious ‘senpais’, so Baji is limited to working around the system. That is, as long as you don’t seem to be getting a tad too close for comfort to any one of them, cause in that case all bets are off. Would try to prevent this by clinging to you as much as possible, but even that has its limits. Baji would happily tag along and clothes shop with you regardless, and will weigh in on what he thinks, though take note that he does not exactly have the best fashion sense - will absolutely start panicking and ask his mom for tips and what the latest fashion trend is before going out with you.

ㅤ

Kazutora: Starts crying immediately the moment you start talking about anyone but him (and well, he makes an exception for the rest of the Toman founders as well he supposes). Straight up just tears up and accuses you of cheating on him, clings to you and refuses to let go until you apologize - doesn’t matter if you are in the middle of class or in the middle of the corridor. Kazutora has an iron grip and strength way beyond what you will ever have, and if this boy has his arms around you, you aren’t going anywhere. If he thinks that the situation was getting worse and out of his control, i.e. you proclaim that you have a crush on so and so sport athlete, he will refuse to let you go to school at all because all those “evil fucks” brainwashing you are there. Would even purposely get you into trouble with your teachers and the school by hiding your homework from you, or messing your classroom up and getting it blamed on you. Which would of course lead to you opting to hang out with him instead, preferably somewhere that was empty of other people so that nothing can steal your attention away from him. Nothing would make him happier than being invited to go shopping with you, but much like Baji, this boy doesn’t exactly have any fashion sense. Will probably insist that the leopard print pattern he favors looks good on you and nothing else, so be prepared to make your own decisions. No doubt Kazutora will go behind your back and beat the living shit out of any guy he thinks is a bit too attractive once his jealousy reaches boiling point, making sure that he breaks whatever is necessary to make them less attractive.

ㅤ

Pah-chin: Doesn’t mean to, but this boy will accidentally give you all the worst advice known to mankind when you do end up whining about wasting your youth. Pah is very unsure about what you talk about or why you want to go and see other students, but this boy doesn’t stop you from doing so as long as he gets to come along. This boy is pretty clueless to say the least, and will resort to asking Peh what he should do when you tell him that your youth was fleeting. Does that mean that you were sick and dying? Oh, okay it means that you are in love - which is a big no no even in Pah’s books. Fortunately with how fierce Pah naturally looks without even trying, no doubt any popular guys are already keeping a wide circle from you whenever he is around. Plus the advice he gives you just scares them away even more, because this boy has no idea what he is doing without Peh there. And you absolutely would not be able to get Pah to leave you alone, this Third Division Captain will attend every single sports game just to make sure that you weren’t trying anything funny. Also another Toman founder that doesn’t have any fashion sense whatsoever, so I would hold off asking for advice on your outfits as well, but upside is that he will absolutely pay for your outfits if you let him.

[shalomniscient]

listening to hold on tight by aespa and wow this is so kafka coded…. i’m having VISIONS like imagine being kafka’s stellaron hunter partner. before silver wolf, before sam and before blade it was just you and her, flitting from galaxy to galaxy to carry out elio’s enigmatic will. and you, frankly, can’t fucking stand her.

cocky, smug, arrogant, and worst of all—she had the damned skills to back all of it up. it also absolutely did not help that she was also one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever laid your eyes on. you really would kill elio for pairing both of you up, were it not for the fact that the schemer of a man had something you need. and, it seems, something that kafka needs too. not that you particularly care, of course.

nsft utc—

just like how you totally don’t care as kafka cozies up to your target of the day, the strobe lights of the club casting tempting shadows across her elegant face, those cherry-red lips upturned in a coy, dangerous smile. you watch from across the bar over the rim of your glass—the strongest shit this fucking bar had to offer—and when she flashes you a look from beneath long, fluttering lashes you nearly crack the damn glass in your grip. kafka’s eyes glitter like rubies in the low light, and you grit your teeth so hard you distantly fear they may crack.

seconds, minutes or hours later she finally stands, leading the target away from the bar by the hand. her web has been spun—all that was left for to tangle this foolish, stupid, unwitting fly in her threads. you follow from a distance, hands shoved in your pockets, curling around knives you’re just itching to use at this point. in the background, you faintly register a new song being played; almost folklike in its melody were it not for the electro groove overlaid above it and the dark, fantastic vocals.

baby you and me are a twisted fantasy—

you find kafka and the target in a private room in the back. she’s sat across from him now, grinning from ear to ear. the hunt was over; now, it was time for the kill. he barely gets the chance to squeal before your knife teases the exposed flesh of his throat, and kafka laughs. at your impatience or the man’s crippling, immobilising fear of her, you don’t know. that relaxed, insufferable smirk remains on her lips even as you drag your knife through muscle and sinew and spill the target’s blood all over the lush cushions. it’s red, just like her lips. over the speakers, the music continues.

bodies running on a dream, up all night—

“you’re tense, partner,” she drawls, crossing her legs as she watches you wipe your knife clean. “the job was successful. relax.”

you grind your teeth together as you sheathe your knives back into their holsters. “you wasted my time with that pointless… game of yours.“

“it’s called having fun,” she hums in response, rising from her seat, and taking slow steps towards you, “you should try it.”

“we are not here to have fun,” you growl. “the script is clear—“

kafka cuts you off with a sigh and a roll of her eyes. “bo-ring.” distantly, you hear the music swell.

wired differently, a chaotic energy—

oh, you’ve had enough.

quick as a flash, you pin kafka to the wall, your arm against her throat while the other hand wraps tight around her wrists. her eyes widen by a mere fraction, before her cherry lips part wide in a grin that’s more a flash of teeth than anything else.

“one more fucking word out of you and i swear—“

“you’ll what?” kafka challenges. “punish me?”

“shut. up.”

she sneers. “make me.”

and you do, by crashing your lips against hers in a fervent, chaotic kiss. kafka twitches beneath you ever so slightly, but then she’s returning your fervor, her teeth worrying your lower lip. you growl and probe your tongue against the seam of her lips, forcing your way into her mouth and tasting the residuals of whatever drink she had with that man, his blood now trickling down onto the floor.

kafka groans as you slot your leg between hers, her muscled thighs immediately bearing down on your leg. you move the arm against her throat lower, your hand squeezing at the ample flesh of her breast through her shirt, and the pleased hum that reverberates out of her theoat sounds far, far better to you than her smug chirping. when you pull away, your shoulders tremble from the heavy breaths you draw in.

kafka, meanwhile, retains that damned smirk on her face, her eyes half-lidded and knowing. as if she planned all this right from the start.

“perhaps we should take this somewhere more private, hm?” she suggests, trailing a hand down your front as she rolls her hips against your leg. you stifle the full-body shudder that threatens to course through you, and step away from her.

“fine.”

the grip you have on her wrist is tight, but kafka doesn’t pull away. she only giggles airily, and you know without looking that her expression is definitely one of a cat that got the cream. as you leave the club, the song finally concludes.

buckle up and take a seat, hold on tight…

[kadextra]

Hiiii Pomme and Dapper if you see this, a little letter for you:

I LOVE YOUUU I LOVE YOU my favorite little eggs, my dappleduo!! 🎩🍎 of course you stay together even now, I wouldn’t have expected anything different! :D

You’re amazing. the work the two of you have done in breathing life into your characters, as a ghostie watching from the very beginning I have loved every moment of it. it’s hard to fully express how much I appreciate you in words rn, but I’ll try to say a few things:

To Pomme, you’re literally so inspiring. they say art begets art and that’s sooo true, for me with you- the writing and characterization you’ve done has given me so much inspiration for my art over the many months. you’re so skilled, and everything you do reflects that you’re a person with a lot of heart (also you’ve got a wonderful music taste) It’s been a joy to follow your journey, but most of all I’ve enjoyed the little moments spending time getting to know you on the late nights. get lots of good sleep, girl!! you deserve it!!!

“dearly beloved,” I will absolutely be coming with you on your next journey <3

-

To Dapper, it’s obvious after so long that you’re someone who’s really passionate about whatever they set their mind to, which has been a joy to watch over the past year. your lore ideas, like with the laboratory? fantastic. your fun facts? awesome. your humor- please never stop being the effortlessly funny person you are!!!! you’re a lovely and hardworking person. all of the hundreds of hours I’ve spent watching you collect random things and fight mobs have never once been a waste of time on the days I needed some company, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

all the best to you my little occultic egg, see you again soon! <3

-

I feel so sorry this happened to you guys, thank you for speaking out. I wont lie, I feel heartbroken at what you’ve gone through and it’s been hard to read. but, I’m so happy that you’re taking the steps to do what is personally right for you and your health, because that’s the most important thing.

and, what brings me a lot of comfort is that you both were able to meet and no matter what, you’re staying together.

A french & a spanish speaker becoming besties from across the world in a block game as little baby eggs that talk on signs, isn’t that just crazy??? but it really has happened- proof that barriers can be crossed, and in the most strange, unexpected ways too. you have truly embodied the heart of this project, shown us it’s really possible to make lifelong memories and friends no matter the language. thank you for letting us watch you become the close friends you are today.

Please know you have support in whatever it is you guys choose to do next. I love you, we all love you. I can say for a fact that this platform sings your praises all the time lmao, I know you come here already but no matter what happens in the future, if you ever wanna hang out more often and just chill feel welcome to, yeah? 🫶

As they say, it’s never a goodbye but instead a see you later- in whatever form that will be. take care of yourselves 💖

Merci, Gracias

[teaboot]

What are your favorite pieces of media?

hhhhng Uhhhh

growing up, probably The Pendragon Chronicles- from what I recall it's a series of books about a kid who has to correct cataclysmic events on a bunch of separate worlds caused by a being who intends to end life on all of them.

One world is Modern Earth, where he's the only one able to use the portal to travel to other worlds, one is 1920's Past Earth, one is Future Earth in a sort of cyberpunk setting, one is a desert planet in the midst of war, one is a jungle world in which the dominant species is a race of bipedal cats, one is a water world where all food is farmed on a series of island-sized boats.. and I think that's all of them, unless I'm forgetting?

And on each world there's one guardian, and they meet up and fight and shit, and they can't blow their cover on any world, and each world has a large, distinct world-ending event brewing- The water one may lose their source of food, for example, and in future-earth people are wasting away in a virtual reality game they become addicted to.

It's one of the rare long series of teen books that I feel had a pretty satisfying ending despite the huge buildup, and I'd really recommend it to anyone interested.

I also really like X-Men, and Trigun, and while I haven't seen the new Percy Jackson series it was UNCONTESTED my number one favourite- I still have it on my shelf, absolute A+.

Aaaaand.... I enjoy the Batman Fandom more than most of the comics themselves but I'm in there, too. Was a homestuck cosplayer back in the day, as well. Loved Gravity Falls, loved Steven Universe.

Six Underground ins my favourite "sick at home" comfort movie. Also the only two John Wick movies in existence, shame they never made more sequels. Lord of the Rings. The Princess Diaries. Stardust. Ella Enchanted.

Oh, and the Inkheart books were FABULOUS. Really, they read like nothing else, just such a fantastic and unique flavour in fantasy!

Uhhhhh. Hellboy, too. Hell's Paradise. Bleach. Darker Than Black I vaguely remember enjoying, but I have the DISTINCT MEMORY of despising season two, so fuck that shit, whatever it was.

And I remember... oh, maybe twelve years ago, now? Really liking the spy series Nikita, and the urban fantasy Lost Girl, though I don't think I finished either.

Oh, and Elementary is a must-watch!

Poirot, too, and Perry Mason, and Midsommer Murders.

Also Blown Away, glassmaking reality series, and Forged In Fire, a bladesmith reality series.

Kitchen Nightmares, Hotel Hell, Hell's Kitchen, all good.

Puppet History. Watcher. Game Changer.

And webcomics Dead End and Check Please.

................I may need to spend more time on this

[carlyraejepsans]

Hey, if you don’t mind the question. What’s your opinion on Undertale Yellow?

8/10 game. pretty good at being a game, not so much at being an undertale story. the gameplay itself was fun, the area/puzzle designs too, the soundtrack was untouchable it literally gave me the same rush i felt hearing sburb initiation for the first time. minor NPCs designs were fun but the primary cast was too monotonous, tbh. (all the main characters have tall gangly very detailed designs save for like, axis). its attempts at landing Undertale's humor were quite often successful, but it held back on exaggeration and caricaturing its original characters which took away that oomph from the canon game. the character writing was... lacking. which is a pity.

i love fucked up women so i was really disappointed that every single one of ceroba's actions/ideas/influences on the story were nothing but an extension of her dead husband. when you take chujin away she's just... A Good Wife and Mother. or starlo's past love interest ig. i mean both dalv and martlet's backstory were tied to her family and we never see them interact at all. but they do have an established dynamic.... with the dead husband. again. UGH. she's just really wasted as a character (she and chujin should've BOTH been scientists and she should've continued the project AGAINST his wishes after he died. she's the main cast character, she should be the driving force in the narrative, not him—even if chujin sets the plot in montion by inventing the serum first).

I'm not a huge asgore fan—not that i dislike him, he's just not a character i care about all that much—so congrats to this game for making me say "he would NOT fucking say that". the "fuck the royals" subplot thing was really unnecessary. actually, that was a bit of a recurring thing in the game. suddenly introducing these Huge Social Dilemmas like labor exploitation, anti-monarchic sentiments, misogyny (bro who on earth "needs to take a wife" this is Undertale) everyone realizing that clover is a child, over exaggerating the violence at stake... while also attempting to maintain Undertale's careless, bouncy treatment of the situation. that's... not how things work. undertale is able to maintain its light tone BECAUSE it doesn't let you take those topics seriously, they're not meant to be. the fairytale-like king, the battles, the child protagonist, they're all set dressings for the REAL story and REAL power imbalance it wants to highlight: that between player and game characters. everything is in function of that. you take that layer of separation and make everyone aware that theyre violently attacking and killing a literal child... that's not. a good thing dude. if it's not gonna impact the tone of the story, why acknowledge it in the first place? it's just unnecessary

anyway flowey neutral run was really, really fun. his dialogue writing all throughout the game was very solid and i had a blast having him around. however, they shouldn't have tried to anticipate his character development. this game is a prequel, you can't do that without undermining his arc in the canon events. pacifist should've had him doubling down on his frustration from the neutral ending. i do all this work for you keeping you alive and you make the same mistake i did sacrifice yourself for them??? are you BRAINDEAD???? what I'm saying is he basically should've thrown the biggest tantrum of his LIFE. oh and in the NM run he should've been terrified when he lost control of the SAVE file. this is the first time it's ever happened to him and now he's gonna die for good. he wouldn't have gloated like he did.

if you want to hear more criticism along the lines of what i said then this post by the fantastic @andreabandrea covers a lot of what i also felt during the game. i know this might sound like a lot of negativity, but the fact remains that UTY was an absolutely phenomenal work of fan creativity the likes of which we have never seen before in the fandom. considering the quality and polish, i thought it only fair to approach it as the piece of art it is and give it my genuine thoughts on the matter.

overall, still a really fun way to spend the afternoon with a pal. so. thumbs up

[fernsnailz]

January 2024 Review Roundup

hello everypony‼️ something i want to do through 2024 is a mini review series where i recap some of the media i watched/played/read at the end of every month. this was inspired by tumblr user ponett’s 2023 media wrap-up, it's a great collection of quick reviews so go check it out!

i’m doing this partially as writing/analysis practice, but mostly because my memory is really bad and i want to keep track of what i've seen this year. with that said, my thoughts on everything i finished in january 2024 is under the cut :]

Portal 1 + 2

yyyup i beat Portal and it only took me (checks watch) 13 years

the first time i played Portal 2 was at a friend’s house when i was in middle school, and i had a fuckin blast. but after all that time... it still holds up! i don’t think anything i have to say about Portal will be particularly new since people have been praising this series since it came out. the writing, the level design, even the controls feel tight and engaging the whole way through. i played on switch and expected a bit of jank, but i was pleasantly surprised at how smooth it felt to play. the only part that dragged for me were the levels through the old aperture labs, but i think i would like them a lot more on a second replay. Portal 2 is fantastic and one of my new favorite games, the artistry behind it is truly incredible and i’m really glad i finally finished it. while i was playing Portal 2, i described Glados and Wheatly to a friend and said “they’re like if a ceiling fan could be passive aggressive and if Fozzie Bear was an evil golf ball”

I Think You Should Leave

finally. i can truly understand and appreciate Subspace Dubbed Over

i think one of my favorite things about I Think You Should Leave is how it utilizes horror. beyond sitting slack-jawed in disbelief at the crazy events unfolding before my eyes, a number of the sketches dipped into bits that genuinely kinda scared me. like the one sketch that circulates on here where the guy (pig?) in a mask crawls through a dog door, which is. genuinely terrifying. but so many of the other sketches have slow, nerve-racking pacing leading to crazy shit that would be perfect in a horror film were the context different. idk i like dissecting how horror and comedy are essentially the same thing and I Think You Should Leave was very good at enabling that <3 favorite sketches are probably “then let my wife eat the damn receipt” and “55 BURGERS 55 HOTDOGS 100 FRIES 100 TATER TOTS”

Sonic Prime Season 3

man. ohhhh man. i didn’t go into this with high expectations and i still feel let down. Sonic Prime Season 3 was definitely my least favorite “season” of the batch - abysmal pacing, very few character moments i actually enjoyed, and the things i praised about the show felt very underutilized through these episodes. Nine is the shining star of Sonic Prime and i was looking forward to seeing his more villainous side, but his character took such a sharp turn into pure evil and it felt like he spent the entire season repeating the same three lines. and as much as i praise Shadow’s writing in Prime, it doesn’t really matter when he spends half of the season trapped in a hole that he just… runs out of later.

lastly, i cannot stop thinking about how bad the pacing of this season is. three episodes for a repetitive final battle feels like such a waste of time when you see just how much they rush the emotional resolutions in the last episode. however, there is one thing i truly love about Sonic Prime Season 3 - i love the Sails and Mangey fakeout death. it's so fucking funny. like you really expect me to believe that two cartoon animals in this Y-7 rated show EXPLODED?????? absolute comedy gold.

overall, i just… don’t really know what to think of Sonic Prime. anything i enjoyed in the show was often fleeting, and much of it felt like its only purpose was to waste my time. also Rouge i can’t believe they did you so dirty oh my god

Ghost Trick

i was so proud that i figured out the secret behind Sissel’s memory loss like halfway through the game. however i also kept getting caught during the prison escape sequence like an idiot

Ghost Trick is in a similar situation as Portal where 1. it’s incredible and one of my new favorite games, and 2. there’s nothing i can really say about it that hasn’t already been said or just. shouldn’t be said. Ghost Trick is a fantastic mystery game, and because of that i think it’s best to go into its story as blind as possible. the narrative unfolds in such fascinating ways - even though the actual object manipulation gameplay isn’t directly about solving the mystery (like in Ace Attorney or other mystery games), it still ties wonderfully into the story in some incredibly unique ways.

i also really love the artstyle of Ghost Trick - i love 2D character artwork with that sharp lineweight, it reminded me a lot of Sonic Battle (another game with an artstyle i love). i was also really impressed by the 3D character models and animation - despite the limitations of the camera, you get a wonderful sense of everyone’s personality from the limited body language expressed in the overworld (even though the models lack much facial expression which. i guess they don’t really need? idk that was the only thing that threw me off). anyways yeah everyone should play Ghost Trick so Ghost Trick fans can be freed from their curse and talk about it without having to tag like 10 different spoiler tags. and for Missile

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

ok bear with me. i went into Scott Pilgrim Takes Off without reading the comics first. and i fuckin loved it

my understanding of Scott Pilgrim before SPTO was mostly from the movie (I KNOW I’M SORRY), but even with my base understanding of the series i really enjoyed this show for what it was. i found myself appreciating the time they dedicated to further develop every single character in the show - especially Ramona. she’s fantastic as the lead, i really loved watching her reconcile with her exes and seeing all of them grow instead of exploding into coins. my favorite episode was probably the one with her and Roxie - not only did i adore the movie-jumping set pieces, but you really understand the weight of Ramona’s mistakes in their past relationship and how much it hurt Roxie. despite the big climactic fight, the flashbacks are quiet, subtle, heartbreaking. Ramona’s apology is genuine, and it feels so wonderful to watch her confront her past throughout the show. also i think it’s really funny that for all these characters to become the best versions of themselves, they had to kill off Scott for most of the story

and holy shit the artstyle and animation. oh my god. i love watching something that makes me immediately go “i need to see the storyboards for this RIGHT NOW.” SPTO is such a visual delight to watch, it elevates the artstyle of the comics while also keeping what makes that style so appealing - i love the line weight on the characters, i love how much forward energy the animation has, i love the fucking. virtual boy section. as soon as i found out Science Saru was also behind Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, everything made immediate sense. i was destined to love this show.

another worry i had going into SPTO (besides the fact that i hadn’t read the comics lol) is that the original cast from the movie was returning. i think the movie cast is fine, but i wasn’t sure how some of them would fare with voice acting for animation. however, i thought they all did a good job - i think the whole cast loves these characters and would be able to fit into them fairly easily no matter what form their performance takes, and they definitely had a good voice director in the studio with them. the only thing that felt off about the voice performances to me was that sometimes it sounded like some of their mics kept peaking?? idk some of these episodes i watched high as balls and i felt like i could hear and see every single sound and frame of the show. so that might have just been me.

god i did not. expect to have this much to say about Scott Pilgrim. i really loved this show and i’m currently reading the comics to fully catch up on the general Scott Pilgrim experience - i think reading the comics AFTER Takes Off is making me appreciate even more of the character work that went into the show. like they do so much with Mathew Patel in SPTO, a character that was. not originally around for a long time from what i’ve gathered? also i like the funny little robot. oh my GOD i cannot talk about this show anymore whatever it’s good get me out of here

Sword AF Season 1

i put on the Smosh cast’s D&D series to play in the background while i was drawing. i did not expect to think much of it. instead, i had one of the most enjoyable D&D podcast experiences since i listened to The Adventure Zone Balance???

i haven’t really enjoyed other D&D podcasts since i dropped off of The Adventure Zone, and i wasn’t expecting much from Sword AF of all things. then i saw that Shayne was playing as a druid warforged made of plants and his name was fucking Fernie and i sat my ass down and LISTENED. while i think Sword AF is currently lacking in its world and larger story, those things just. aren’t really what Sword AF is really trying to provide at the moment. it’s main focus is comedy, and the players are genuinely such a delight to watch play together and build off of each other. they mostly focus on bits and goofs for the sake of she show's comedic tone, but i still found it thoroughly enjoyable because every player embodies and performs their characters really well. idk Sword AF was an unexpected hit for me this month, i thought it was fun. and i love Fernie so much

Plastic Death - Glass Beach

so originally i wasn’t going to include music reviews in these roundups at all, but then i was entirely surprised by a new Glass Beach album and oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god jesus christ. holy shit. its preddy good

Plastic Death gets the low point of the album out of the way immediately. it starts with the “phone call/conversation audio” trope that i don’t particularly enjoy - HOWEVER despite me disliking this opening, 1. it sets up the overall themes of Plastic Death very quickly, and 2. the rest of the album blows this 40 second opening completely out of the water. from there, the album grows into something beautiful and uncontained, and i just. i really like it

Plastic Death captures the beauty of the temporary, asks what it means to be created for a cause you can’t fulfill, questions if you can reclaim yourself from cycles and constraints designed to destroy you. and is also about being transgender. the lyrics are abstract in a way that requires a conversation with the listener, many of the vocals obscured and smooth like waves - this album is definitely one that needs to be listened to a few times. i wasn’t sure how i felt about the vocal style at first before realizing the vocals were the main reason i was relistening to this album, allowing myself to find even more that i loved about it. the instrumentation is also incredible, i love the use of marimba in a number of songs - distant, eerie, almost skeletal. and the fucking. 8-bit section?? which kinda rules???? and that’s the only point in the album it ever shows up??????? incredible. a fleeting, somewhat silly moment that i love every time.

this album left my heart aching, in part from my connection to it and in part from the pure love and joy emanating from this music. i can feel just how much fun this music was to perform and create, a cohesion of time and sound that just clicked for me. Plastic Death made me miss playing music, which is something i haven’t felt in years. all from an album that starts with a conversation about CrankGameplay’s dead youtube channel. good lord

i like this album a normal amount. go listen to it a few times. my favorite tracks are cul-de-sac and commatose

Wish

i watched Wish with a couple of friends and knew i probably wasn't going to like it. with that in mind, i gave myself a challenge: i wanted to find one thing about this movie that i genuinely really loved. it could be anything, and loving it for ironic reasons was allowed.

here's the complete list of things i loved about Disney's Wish (2023):

i love the one shot where King Magnifico stirs an evil caldron evily. i thought it was hilarious. what was he cooking

i loved that the end credits included a reference to Dinosaur 2001 at all, and i loved that they paid homage to Big Hero 6 by showing the forgettable villain of that movie instead of their Baymax cashcow for some reason. my friends and i saw him show up in the credits and were like "who's the trenchcoat guy??"

you may notice that this list is very short and 50% of it is about the movie's credits. so yeah this movie is not very good

Wish is an empty husk of a movie. everything about it feels so, so hollow - lifeless town squares, uninspired character designs (to quote a friend: "i have all of these characters' hairstyles in The Sims"), characters whose existence is only justified to fill empty space or an overused archetype, and an "evil" villain who lacks charisma and spine in a futile effort to remind the audience of previous disney villains with actual character. even the artstyle lacks any sort of sauce, the watercolor effect they were trying to go for only makes the backgrounds and character textures run together, and the dull lighting makes things look even more faded. it's like disney was scared of making a movie that made its audience feel... anything. all to celebrate 100 years of Disney slop, baby!!!

Some YouTube videos I liked in January: 💥 An Exhaustive Look at Pokemon Brilliant Diamond 💥 TomSka's Guide to Plagiarism 💥 Paradise Bombed (this video is a great piece of journalism and i’m definitely not doing it justice by throwing it into the youtube vid list) 💥 Surprising Our Friends with Zoo Animals 💥 Did FNAF Ever Have a Good Story?

thanks for reading! next month’s roundup will be wild because i’ll likely be reviewing House of Leaves and Hazbin Hotel. can you guess which cursed house gives me a worse headache? WHO KNOWS! (hint: it's Hazbin Hotel)

[nahoney22]

Hi! I am such a big fan our your writing and every time I see you pop up on my dash I get so excited!! 🤍🤍

If you are looking for ideas, how do you think the batch would react to you trying to throw them a collective birthday party? I know they don’t really have a “birth”day but maybe they agree to celebrate on a specific date (maybe an important day for them)?

Birthday Surprise

All Bad Batch X GN!Reader

word count: 883 words

warnings: none, fluff. Platonic relationships.

authors note: so sorry for the wait, this is only short but I was drawing blanks and I’d rather post something than nothing at all. Hope this is okay ♥️

As rumors of a surprise spread among the members of the Bad Batch, excitement and curiosity filled the air. Each member pondered over what awaited them, their imaginations running wild. But as they stepped inside the Marauder, their jaws dropped in surprise.

The interior of the ship had been transformed into something neither of them could ever imagine. Vibrant balloons floated cheerfully, adorning every corner, while colorful banners draped the walls, displaying the message ‘happy birthday’. A massive birthday cake, meticulously crafted (that none of them would believe that you made if you told them) took center stage on the control panel in the cockpit, its sugary aroma tantalising the senses of certain clones.

Hunter couldn't hide his surprise as he glanced around. "What's all this?" he inquired slowly, his eyes locking onto your mischievous grin.

"Happy birthday!" you exclaimed, a twinkle in your eyes.

The confusion on Tech's face was evident as he analysed the unexpected scene. "To whom are we celebrating?" he inquired, searching for answers amidst the festive chaos.

"All of you!" you proclaimed, your response causing Tech's brows to furrow even deeper as he struggled to comprehend the unusual situation unfolding before him.

Wrecker, ever the cheerful and boisterous one, erupted with joy, a wide grin stretching across his face. “Do we even have a birthday?” He wasted no time in donning a party hat, playfully placing one on Omega's head as well. He even attempted to coerce Echo into joining the festivities, though Echo's patience dwindled with each failed attempt, swatting Wrecker's hands away until the pink hat finally sat on his head.

“Well, with thanks to Omega she told me that you guys were actually… made….?” You trail off, unsure if that was the right terminology to use but it was clear to them what you meant, “on this day!”

Hunter chuckled and with a playful kick, he sent a balloon soaring across the room. "Really?" he inquired, a hint of amusement in his voice.

You nodded, a broad smile spreading across your face. Extending your hand, you exchanged a high-five with Omega, who beamed at her brothers. "Absolutely," you confirmed, your voice brimming with genuine enthusiasm. "I thought it would be a fantastic idea for you guys to celebrate something special, together!"

"That is rather interesting information for me to log, actually. I was never aware that it was this particular date," Tech remarked, a faint smile gracing his lips as he pulled out his data pad to record the newfound knowledge. "Although this type of celebration is not necessary for the likes of us. We were made to be expendable, not to have celebrations."

"Oh, lighten up, Tech," Crosshair chimed in, his voice laced with playful sarcasm. He swiped a bit of frosting from the cake with his finger and licked it off, savoring the sweetness. "Say thank you."

"I believe you are yet to say that," Tech quipped, glancing at his brother over the top of his data pad. Crosshair smirked in response, then turned his gaze toward you.

"They already know I am," he acknowledged, gratitude shining in his eyes.

Tech looked at you and offered a small smile. "I apologize. This is great. Thank you."

"No worries, it's just a little something," you replied cheerfully, refusing to let their banter dampen the festive atmosphere. After all, with cake, games, and party hats involved, it was hard to feel anything but joy.

The day unfolded seamlessly, with the boys and Omega basking in the celebration. Laughter filled the air as they reminisced about past missions, sharing humorous anecdotes that never failed to bring a smile to their faces. At one point, you pulled Echo aside, quietly reminding him that although the day wasn't specifically tailored to him, it actually coincided with the time when he joined the others.

"This is really kind of you," Echo expressed, seated beside you amidst the lively music within the Marauder.

"You guys have done a lot for me! It's only fair that you get a treat, even if it's just once a year," you responded softly, observing everyone's enjoyment. Even Crosshair seemed to be reveling in the fun.

As the night neared its end, each of the boys approached you individually, surprising you with heartfelt gestures of appreciation. They expressed their gratitude with hugs, while Tech opted for a handshake, true to his analytical nature. Crosshair, unexpectedly, even gave you an awkward side hug before retreating to his bunk, a smudge of frosting lingering on the corner of his lips.

"This meant a lot to us. Thank you," Hunter conveyed, being the last to embrace you. As he rubbed gentle circles on your back, you could sense the sincerity behind his words. He had always believed that he and his brothers didn't deserve the recognition they received, but seeing them all calm and content for once on their "birthday" made it all worthwhile. The vibrant and bold colors of the celebration had momentarily overwhelmed his senses, but he chose to say nothing, not wanting to spoil the experience for the others or undermine your effort.

With hearts full of gratitude and newfound memories to treasure, the boys all settled down to sleep, their hopes eagerly fixed on the promise of next year's celebration, just around the corner.

Masterlist

Tags; @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 7 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @cwarssimp @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @oohyesplease @theroguesully @mustluvecho @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 7 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @kixs-husband @pb-jellybeans @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @seriowan @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @imalovernotahater @crystal076 @blustalker @the-good-shittt @s1st3r @by-the-primes @the-bad-batch-baroness @nunanuggets

[afreakingdork]

Except for a Mouse

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader One-Shot

Tags: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Mistletoe, Gift Fic, One Shot, Short & Sweet, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Gender-Neutral Reader

Synopsis: Scurrying around, you help your boyfriend as he tries to rekindle the excitement of the gift giving season.

Also Available on Ao3

A Secret Santa gift for dearest @s-s-ironnie

Didgeridoo you are an endless delight and I'm so happy to have met you! I hope you have a wonderful holiday and enjoy!

The luster of receiving gifts had dulled with age. You tried not to include yourself in that, but it was an unfortunate fact across the board. The whole how to do of the holiday had eclipsed the supposed reason for the season. It was an odd thing; understanding why your elders had been exhausted and spent most of their days lounging while the kids ran around with their new toys. Practicality won out as you got older and with it came a stagnant sense.

“Socks?! Fantastic! Oh, they’re even the boot kind!? That’s great because mine have been wearing on my ankles all season!”

“A new whetstone, this is just what I needed. You even got the right grit. Thanks! I can’t wait to use this with those new tutorial vids I’ve been watching.”

“Can’t have enough floofy soap!”

For Donnie, it was absolute misery. In all the years you had known him, he was a gift giving master. He prided himself on knowing just what to get someone even if it wasn’t something of this world. It was his chance to flex not just his inventions, but seek the validation he so desperately craved. He considered Christmas to be his big sports game and he had enough winning rings to fill a jewelry shop.

Which was why with each consecutive year, as the requests got more mundane and the reactions gentler, he was losing that glint in his eye little by little.

It crushed you.

“A gym membership renewal!?” Donnie pushed his palms into his eye sockets so hard his chair tipped lethally backward. “Nardo wasn’t even joking!”

“Nice to have the expense taken care of…” You mourned beside your partner.

“He has an entire home gym, built by moi, what does he need-!?” Donnie groaned loudly. “The rest are just as bad: ‘that shell wax you make,’ ‘back scratcher,’ ‘gift card to that craft store I like!’” In a swivel, Donnie turned to face you while throttling the arms of his chair. “At least Casey and April chose spirited items! ‘A home defense system to vanquish audacious insects’ and an upgrade to her invisibility cloak. Fine, great, interesting enough, but not inspired! They’ll receive them, but they won’t dazzle! All my intelligence! Wasted!” In another turn that made his seat creak, Donnie threw up dozens of security camera screens filled with footage of his family. “They want not! They came up with objects to appease me!”

“It can be like that…” You dampened now that he was out of sight again.

“What can I do?” He spoke a hopeless rhetorical.

“Spend time with them? Your dad always loves having the kids back home.”

“Something constructive, please.” Donnie griped with a bitterness you knew wasn’t for you.

You finally stood and approached to put a hand on his shoulder.

One of his came up to take it as he continued to glower at the monitors.

“This is what it’s like sometimes.” You leaned in and kissed the side of his head. “The child-like wonder is gone.”

Donnie stayed statuesque and you were about pull away when his grip suddenly seized to a painful degree.

“A-ah!”

“You’re a genius!” In one swift twirl, he was out of his seat and you were up in the air being showered with kisses.

So began operation ‘Help to Make the Season Bright.’ Starting right after October as Halloween was always given its due and with little to do for Thanksgiving as that was Mikey’s territory, Donnie folded you into his plan. You were there to reign him in which you knew to be an integral role.

Never mind the weather, the Hamatos were in for a white Christmas. Donnie had crafted a new-age snow machine after you’d talked him down from one that manipulated the atmosphere. Inspired by a certain famous holiday film, Donnie had acquired gifts from his family's younger days. Having had to talk him down from time travel itself to purchase the items, you then fielded him when it came to decorations. Wanting the lair to take on that magic imbued by children’s eyes, it meant for more decorations than the past.

All counting down to the titular eve, he’d knocked Splinter out with pre-festivity cake and milk and waited for the others to retreat before you were called upon. Together you spent the entire night transforming the space and setting up in a secluded section of the nearby park. Exhausted and without a wink of sleep, you’d roused the group at an agonizing 5am as was past tradition and the day began.

Grouching about the time was quickly overshadowed by wide gleaming eyes. Whispers of how Donnie had done this were brushed past as everyone was whisked outside into a winter wonderland. Donned in coats that exactly replicated ones of their youth, Raph was the first to devolve into water works. The ensuing snowball fight brought out a heat that you hadn’t seen playfully enacted in years and a break with hot chocolate made from a pilfered recipe meant Mikey was the next to weep.  

Worn out bodies were pulled inside, where upon getting their actually requested gifts, Leo stubbornly fought sobbing as he opened a mint version of his first and favorite Jupiter Jim action figure. April fell next with a newly sized version of her Hamato-crested top and Casey turned red in the face after being given validation with a combined plate of cookies and brownies.

Donnie, ever shining in his element, rode the high straight through the day until everyone collectively lost their steam. A turtle pile now with the addition of partners formed and Splinter snored loudly as a fond backdrop. Lingering sentiments meant you couldn’t join in and you had just pulled a pan of green bean casserole out of the oven to cool even though it was debatable whether it’d be eaten warm or at all. Shuffling out of the kitchen, you found Donnie leaning and watching the group and telegraphed your approach with heavier footsteps.

Instead of addressing you, he folded back an arm at the ready.

You tucked yourself into his side and he wrapped you up in the appendage. “You did it.”

“I couldn’t have without you.” He gave his family one last wistful look before bringing glowing adoration down to you.

You smiled where your head was sleepily resting against his plastron.

“One last thing…”

Your lips tugged downward. “The dinner was last…” In a slight shuffle against him, you unearthed your phone along with the list. “Yeah… we marked them all off.” You showed him.

“Oh!” He put on airs as he leaned forward to examine your phone with great feigned interest.

“Donnie…” You pursed your lip.

“Seems there was one missing.” With a tap, your list refreshed and a new item appeared.

☐ First Kiss

“When did you…?” Your head shifted back from the addition. “A kiss? Who’s that for?”

Turning confusion to your partner, you watched as an mechanical arm emerged from his battle shell. Tipping to watch it, there was a bit of green with white dotting tied up in a purple ribbon and just like that you were in your early twenties again.

Shy and at your first Hamato Christmas, you and Donnie had a brand new situationship that had started up at nearly the same time the temperatures had dropped. Nerves had him inviting you along with a flurry of worries over what you were about to be thrust into. Naivety meant you wrongly brushed him off and, it was after unknowingly boarding a rollercoaster, you had snuck away for a breather in the hall. Not second guessing your decision to pursue the purple turtle, but instead having so quickly agreed to meeting his family after what hadn’t even been 30 days, you exhaled and prepared to reenter the foray when he met you.

“There you are.” He caught your visage and softened. “You alright?”

“Yeah… just… you were right.” You gave an awkward laugh.

“I’d usually gloat, but it is a holiday.” He teased.

You chuckled as he came in to grab your hand with what looked like an offer on his lips.

“Boom!” Leo exploded a flurry of limbs into the moment causing the pair of you to back up against the wall. The slider slammed his arm between you both causing you to yelp.

“Nardo!” Donnie growled.

“You’ve been hit by!” Leo dodged a swipe from his brother with a pose.

Donnie leapt at him a second time.

“You’ve been struck by!” Leo avoided the attack a second time with finger to the air.

“Enough!” Donnie squared himself and you knew he was about to go for his weapon.

Leo stopped him with a finger pushed right into the genius’ forehead. “A smooth mistletoe!”

Fleeing with a flurry of giggles, Donnie sat a fuming mass staring after where his brother had gone where you had the wherewithal to turn toward the wall Leo had accosted. There, stuck with far too much duct tape was a sprig of mistletoe, obviously coordinated for this brother based on the color of its ribbon. “Uh… Donnie…” You paled.

“Infuriating! He was just loafing around and now he-!” Donnie spun around, saw the dismay on your face, and then the bit of greenery on the wall. “O-oh…”

“It’s a silly tradition!” You squawked. “Y-You were g-going to say something. I think!?”

“That…” He stepped closer, resuming his earlier position by your side. “… we could sneak away… That I know a good Chinese place…”

“T-that sounds good, we should go!” You went to grab his arm and flee when he steadied you by catching your appendage first.

“One… last thing…?” Donnie flicked his gaze to the mistletoe and back to you, beet red. “If you’re… agreeable?”

You gave a jittery nod, your own face a blushing mess.

He leaned in to close the gap just as he was doing now. You melted against him with a coordination you hadn’t had all those years ago and slipped your arms around his neck to deepen the move further. Parting came with a nuzzle of nose to snout and a little giggle from you.

“Next would be getting that peking duck.”

“What a coincidence, my data indicates the group will be asleep for at least 3 more hours.”

“We should go…” You breathed against him, stealing another kiss.

He nodded with an agreement that neither of you bothered making good on.

💜

I plotted two version of this fic based on Digi's preference! I thought it'd be fun the include the other here: In a similar vein, the other fic was Sweet Ironnie where Donnie and Iris go all out to give the kids the best Christmas. Only problem is that they forgot to treat themselves for the holiday so the kids snare them in a mistletoe trap! Thank you @rheawritesforfun for hearing me out!

Also thank you @thepinkpanther83 for being a beta boss!

[danieyells]

I find the idea of Ren being a pervert so nice bc he seems like the least likely at plain sight to be like that, a few times he invited them over to watch movies after working in Jabberwock hoping that you leave something behind and more times than he wants to admit he came to the fantasy of you sitting on his face

He plays mobile games and you think he's the least likely to be a pervert? I guarantee you he is, at minimum, into all sorts of weird 2d shit--trust me, i'm just like that.

But yeah I can absolutely see him being a pervert! He doesn't have anywhere in his room to sit for when he invites you over for movies so, uh, sit on this pillow. He's got more than one pillow for his bed, stop making it weird. Of course after you go home he's huffing that pillow while he jerks off, cursing himself for being so gross but very much lost in the smell.

He doesn't know how to approach you socially so he fantasizes about you instead. After Haru returned the uniform of his that he had you wear he didn't even wanna wash it. It's not like he wore it much at that point anyway, it smelt more like you than it did like him. . .it'd be a waste, right? He's not sure if he wants to wear it or smell it more. (Getting a new one is expensive so he ends up wearing it of course.) If nothing else that you wore it makes it a lot better. If only he'd gotten to see you in it. . .he would never be brave enough(or willing to put forth enough effort) to but it's fun for him to imagine catching you in his clothes, 'getting mad,' taking them off of you. . .all your clothes got wet and dirty, were you even wearing anything under it then? Oh no, he's real hard at the thought. . . .

But most of his fantasies are in line with his usual interests. Not having to do anything at all. You come to him--you seduce him or push him around a little, tease him for getting hard, then. . .it varies a bit from there. You ride him or sit on his face or suck him off or whatever. Sometimes he gets so pent up he turns things around in his own fantasy and isn't so passive. Sometimes he's a little kinder to himself in his fantasies and it's more gentle and loving--you confess and things escalate. . . .

Or you sleep over--in his room for some reason--and he molests you in your sleep. Or you do it to him. . . .

And of course the more fantastical ideas. . .you get to be the couple in every horror movie that sneaks off to screw. Of course, you don't die in the fantasies, but the idea of being in a scary scenario and you only care about him. . .it's stupid, but it pleases him emotionally too. He's nobody special or important or interesting or strong like other ghouls but maybe that's what you'd want, just like him. All of this crazy stuff, the anomalies, it's too much--something ordinary fits you both way better.

. . .on the other hand he's watched enough hentai to think some of the anomalous plants and animals could have more. . .interesting effects. Maybe you're helping out and he told you you should just hide with him instead of working, you shouldn't help them, but you come to him needy and desperate because of some weird plant Towa's keeping. . . .

He can't be bothered to try and get away with being perverse towards you anywhere but in his own head but he thinks about it. If not for that Japanese phones are forced to have the shutter sound on them he'd have so many pictures of you on his phone. . . . He'd be a total hypocrite if he was open about it anyway--he complains about everything minutely able to be interpreted as harassment himself and then he harasses someone else? And who's not gonna believe that the loser loner sexually harassed somebody? He'd get in trouble right away! And with all your connections the last things he needs are members of every house hunting him down. Including his own. He can't hide forever. That's way too much effort just to satisfy himself once or twice.

Nah, he'll keep it in his head. He'll imagine groping you in the dark during movies and sleepovers and acting like some anomaly snuck in and did it if you ask. Try and peek at you in the shower when you stay over--or, think about it anyway because somehow Haru or Towa would definitely stop him. Maybe he could get some kind of little spy cam for the bathroom. . . . If you stay over or get messy while helping out again, they'll take care of the laundry here, he'll let you borrow his clothes again, and if your underwear occasionally go missing well. . .that happens with laundry sometimes, right? Hey, you think that's an anomaly too, whatever makes clothes go missing?

He'll bump his leg against yours to know what it feels like to touch you. You'll be watching scary moves in the dark and he'll grab you to startle you--no, it was too dark, he didn't realize he was grabbing your ass/thigh/chest, he swears! He did clamp his hand over your mouth on purpose though--he just didn't want anybody else to wake up! And yeah maybe that ended up with him holding you to his chest--that was incidental. He just thought it'd be funny. Sorry. Feel something against your back? What're you talking about?

I think he'd make a great pervert, just a very cowardly one haha. He keeps it inside or just hopes things end up working out in his perverse favor. Probably hates himself for it a little bit too--he'd hate if someone was like this towards him after all! Why should he think he's any less repulsive?

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Dark SBI Mafia AU because I reread yours, and I watch too much General Hospital.

Techno is a struggling college student. Not struggling with grades, oh no. He has perfect grades. All of the assigned work? Too easy. What he actually struggling with? Money.

His asshole parents wanted him to stay local for college, but he wasn't going to do that. He was destined for greatness. He was a shoe-in for an ivy league school. He did fencing as an extra curricular, he had perfect grades, he had written KILLER entrance essays. It was a done deal. He was leaving his podunk small town and going off to become the next great american author.

But all of his applications were rejected.

Techno was incredibly upset with himself, thinking he had somehow messed up. But, after doing a little "legal adjacent" searching, he finds out his parents used shady connections to get his college apps rejected.

Instead of getting mad and calling them on it, he quietly (and quickly) applies to a different school. Not ivy league, but still having a FANTASTIC writing program.

He gets in and he tells his parents he is going to a different college than the community college and they flip their lid. It's a huge argument and Techno stomps out of the house and goes to stay with his friend Skeppy.

He stays with Skeppy until he graduates, completely ignoring everytime his parents try to contact him. He's 18, they can't do shit to make him go home. Skeppy is a good friend, and applies to the same school that Techno did (and gets in). Techno never told his parents WHICH school he was accepted to, because he didn't want them to sabotage him. So, he and Skeppy get an apartment together the Fall that school starts.

Hence why Techno needs money. He didn’t get as much scholarship money as he needed because he applied late. He's a shoe in to get more grants next year, but this year is pretty slim.

So, he starts a little business of writing people's essays for them.

Doesn't matter the subject, level, or length, Techno will write your essay for you. He charges by the grade. Oh, you only have $70? I can't get you more than a C on that one, bud. Like, Techno is really only in college for the diploma. He already knows all this crap. It's honestly a little boring to him. But if he wants to get a doctorate, he has to play the game. And, if anything, all the writing is just more practice for Techno.

His teachers are none the wiser. It's not like it pings a plagerism scan. Techno is writing each one individually. How would they know?

Well, one teacher knows. Or, at least suspects. But he can't prove it.

Anyways, Techno is all about that money grind, which gets a little hard when Skeppy starts throwing parties in their apartment.

Skeppy is polite about it. He always tells Techno ahead of time that parties are happening. He makes sure everyone knows that Techno's room is a No-Go. And honestly, Techno ABSOLUTELY advertises his essay sells at these parties. At least, he does so before people get too drunk and loud, and then he quickly retreats to his room. He had splurged on soundproofing. It's much more quiet.

However, one night he stays out at the library late and when he fights his way through Skeppy's party to get to his room he sees someone sleeping in his bed.

Wait, not sleeping, passed out absolutely WASTED.

And the guy...looks almost exactly like Techno.

That's weird. Seems like the start to a bad horror film. But Techno is too tired to deal with this and tries to shake awake the jerk that's snoozing in his bed.

He doesn't get anywhere with that. The lanky bastard doesn't wake at all but GOSH does be sleep slap! Bruh. Techno doesn't have time for this. Techno finds the guys wallet and phone and pulls up the emergency contacts.

He calls the option labeled Dad. Screw this guy, hopefully he gets chewed out by his dad for underage drinking or something.

A person answers, sounding annoyed that Wilbur ditched family night.

"Uh, I have your son."

Silence, and then the guy on the other end starts the threats, asking for demands and Techno backpedals hard, telling him that Wilbur is just drunk passed out in his bed and someone needs to come grab him.

The voice on the other end is just like "Oh, oops. Okay, I'll come grab him."

Techno has to drag mostly unconscious drunk Wilbur through the party. The dude is fighting him with every step. Techno is getting a WORK OUT.

Techno finally makes it out of his apartment and sees a very shiny black car. A driver steps out and opens a back door. Techno was assuming that he was just going to drop Wilbur in there before a blonde man steps out.

The guy is kind of staring until Techno breaks the silence. The guy hurries forward to help. Wilbur mutters nonsense as Phil sets him in the back of the car.

Phil thanks Techno and Techno brushes it off as no big. Until Phil offers money and hey, Techno isn't going to say no to money. And the guy gives him, like, $2000 cash. Is that sketchy? Yes. Does Techno care? Nope.

They say their goodbyes and Techno walks back into the apartment, a little exhausted.

He doesn't notice Phil staring after him like a hawk, before climbing into the car.

Phil maneuvers Wilbur's head into his lap. He looks down at his son, his oldest son who was born a twin. Who's twin was stolen when they were only DAYS old, Phil preoccupied with helping his wife who had had a really traumatic birth.

A twin he had thought dead, the person who had stolen his son having spit that in his face when he had slit their throat.

Phil pulled out his phone and started making calls.

When Wilbur starts hanging around Techno, he assumes that the guy wants a discount on essays. Fat chance. He charges Skeppy double, he's not giving this guy any leeway.

Yet Wilbur hangs around, constantly asking prying questions. Wanting to know more about Techno. Pestering Techno in the library. Following Techno to the dang bathroom.

The guy is relentless, but Techno isn't...bothered, per se. The attention is nice. Skeppy had made a new friend named Bad and spent a ton of time with him. He kept encouraging Techno to make more friends, too.

Well, what could another friend hurt?

It's surely fiiiineee.

Have a good day.

I kept this ask hostage for so long, it's been collecting dust in my ask box for over a MONTH. But only because I wanted to come back and keep rereading it. This is SO GOOD, and my brain has brrr thoughts in many different dimensions. Especially about how Techno's 'adoptive' parents could factor into this...

[aotopmha]

I've been finally watching an FF7 playthrough and I did not expect what the game's identity ended up being.

Currently at the end of "Disc 1".

I knew about Aerith's death long before I truly cared about Final Fantasy, but what I did not know about was literally anything else.

Aerith's backstory as an ancient, Sephiroth's characterisation as an horror villain across the game, Barret and Dyne, Nanaki and Seto.

Before Aerith even dies, we learn Sephiroth can literally control Cloud and he first ends up beating her up and then later at the capital almost killing her because of Sephiroth's ability to control him.

It's fucked, but absolutely incredible storytelling by itself.

Sephiroth's minimalistic presence itself makes him a fantastic villain because of his relation to Cloud and whatever screwed up cosmic horror Jenova is.

I did not see any of the psychological aspects of the story coming.

And I think it's an incredibly well-told narrative from just a plain script perspective, too.

Everything matters in some form, very few dialog boxes are wasted.

I also get why everyone is shipped with everyone.

Because all of them have such strong dynamics with each other even if the dialog is really straight-forward.

Guess I'm 100% a fan.

(Also as a massive FF14 fan, FF7 is an absolutely fascinating thematic companion to FF14 and I'm only at the end of disc 1.

I love, love how FF14 does its own thing while paying tribute to all other FFs. It's absolutely a tribute, but still very much has its own identity as a game and narrative.)

I'm turning into kind of a massive FF fan narratively at least, I think – FF7 is fantastic dark sci-fi/fantasy, FF6 fantastic steampunk/high fantasy and FF14 is some of the best long-form storytelling ranging from lower to higher fantasy, light-hearted to dark fantasy and a bunch of aesthetics beyond these basics that somehow all blend.

Now from all other FF stories I've seen fully, I think FF10, FF4 and FF16 are the ones I'd place lower narratively.

I think FF10 is my least fav of these because none of the cast did much for me, FF4 has the least depth narratively, though it is still pretty fun and FF16 suffers a bunch because of its uneven last third or so, even if I like the cast and base themes a bunch.

But what I like about them all the most is that even within the turn-based formula they all feel very different to each other, again, narratively-speaking. 16 is very little like 7 and even 4 and 6, the games I consider to be closest tonally handle characterisation and narrative structure pretty differently.

Each game brings something new to the table *the series* has not done before in some form. For example, as far as I know 16 is probably one of the most low fantasy games we've had in the series.

It's not new in the broader context of fantasy media, but it is new for FF.

And I like series that don't sit still like that.

[sorenblr]

So, what are you and your friends' thoughts regarding Personas 1 and 2? And honestly, you can be as critical and as brutal in your replies as needed.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm very fond of both. The original has this really distinct, lugubrious atmosphere propelled largely by the music of Aoki, Okibe et al. It's a huge shame that English-speaking players are forced to choose between a version with an infamously compromised localization and a more approachable one that eradicates the aural identify of the original game.

I have a ton of affection for this era of Kaneko art as well. You can tell he was having a lot of fun using then-contemporary celebrities as references for the character designs; there was a certain facial idiosyncrasy that would be lost as he settled into his more distinctive, modern style. Also a big fan of the lanky, expressive sprites in both games- it's such a rarely deployed idiom.

The battle positioning and diffuse exp acquisition go a long way to diminish any satisfaction there might be in the battle mechanics, but I do appreciate the oddly terse dungeon design, which feels like a complete outlier among the first-person dungeon crawlers in the series.

I'll have more to say about the P2 duology once we revisit it for the stream, but I think these games are really singular. EP in particular has what I would consider the platonic ideal for character portraits in this style. Super eclectic, tons of heft to the construction, and clearly a lot of care invested in every expression. An early peak for this representational mode in the series.

The dungeons are kind of wretched. Brutal encounter rate, and these huge, nothing rat mazes that feel completely divorced from the urban structures they're intended to represent. Record stores do not look like that, they are in fact very small! Fuck off!!! The combat is functional but basically frictionless. Best negotiation dialogue in the series.

One thing that I love, and this is present to a lesser extent in P1 as well, is the way your party members will populate the various stores, shrines, parks etc. There's like 50 of these fucking places, and every new plot flag refreshes the dialogue for each character. They easily could have written so many variations of "Hey, are you sure we should be wasting time here instead of heading to (next plot destination)?", but almost every interaction is full of fun character-building moments that would otherwise have no place within the urgency of the narrative. I think this superabundance of tertiary dialogue is actually very charming when engaging with it is left to your discretion.

But most importantly, it's the perfect capstone to the fin de siecle obsession with the occult in Japanese pop culture as it had manifested in the previous two decades. The games throw absolutely everything into the equation- alien spaceships, divination, ancient prophecies, the NWO conspiracy, Lovecraft, the fucking Dan Brown Hitler subplot- everything was on the table. It's this fantastic summation of the Nostradamus/Y2K/Millenial zeitgeist of 1999, and just a great outlet for that sheer, Okada-Kaneko-propelled creativity. The modern games are incredibly anodyne in comparison.

hope all my guido guys out there enjoyed this post and no one scrolled past it b/c they thought I wrote fucking 7 paragraphs about kandori

[pixies-and-poets]

Wanted to send you this earlier, but I fell asleep, lol.

On the topic of Super Paper Mario, I think I saw the analysis you mentioned too, but I can't find it either...

I really love how the music in this game does more so than being an atmospheric background, like the clocks telling you to hurry up in Castle Bleck and suggesting you that the memories you're reading at the end of the chapters happened in the past. Or how simple yet explanatory it is that "Bounding Through Time" has a more mellow version of Bleck's theme in it.

I love this game, it really deserved more.

This is fantastic timing, because I just asked about the same thing on Twitter and someone found it for me!

This is a really great video, definitely deserves more views. Also made me remember when my blog name was welcome-to-flopside, lol

I have passionate opinions and theories and defenses about SPM in general, about how even its "inexplicable" gag parts that everyone thinks were the devs just trolling, actually serve a purpose. The parts where you have to slave away for Mimi, or run back and forth in the Gap of Crag putting in an absurd block-based password, or fight the Sammer Guys, etc.... all emphasize people making you WASTE TIME in a situation where time is of the essence. In some situations, it proves how the villains (well... really just Mimi) are effective at getting the heroes to waste time, which is honestly a better purpose than outright fighting them since the Void is growing on its own. In others it shows how the people of the universe might try to look the other way and not acknowledge the disaster about to strike (this makes absolute sense for the cragnons especially, since they were already causing environmental destruction and ignoring it).

Even if not everyone sees it this way, I seriously think almost every part of this game, from the music to the jokes, fit together to tell its story. That's why it's one of my favorite games of all time.

[theanticool]

Belal Muhammad upsets Leon Edwards! Takes UD and becomes UFC welterweight champion!

Belal Muhammad goes out there and puts on the best performance of his career by far. Absolutely fantastic work from his and his team. Night and day difference from their first fight. Muhammad switched to pressuring and keeping that lead hand active. Instead of allowing Edwards to pick him off in one offs, he used that jab to force Edwards into dozens of tiny exchanges where he needed to commit or try to escape. Gave him a pathway to get to his takedowns, which he did taking Edwards down like 10 or 11 times throughout the fight. And some really eye popping takedowns from Muhammad. Planted Leon on his head with one of them as he got some real elevation on the lift. Not a ton being done on the ground, by either man as Edwards got to Muhammad's back in the 3rd for the majority of it, but a ton of positional time accrued. Except for at the very end of the 5th when Edwards, with 30 seconds left, reverses position to end up on top in guard and just rains down elbows that cut up Belal.

For reference, Leon was in the same position at the end of the 4th round and didn't throw the elbows. I was literally screaming why waste the energy escaping if you're not going to try and build momentum heading into the last round.

A frustrating fight if you're a Leon fan. It really feels like he didn't have a plan for Muhammad and thought he was getting another shot at the 1st fight. Muhammad and his team continue to show they are some of MMA's best game planners. Belal's stylistic flexibility isn't really for everyone but you have to respect it. Just a tremendous all terrain fighter.

[bethanythebogwitch]

Doctor Who - the Empire of Death

This was honestly one the better season finales written by Davies, but that is a very low bar. None of the new series show runners have been anywhere near as good at writing long-running storylines as they think they are. Sutekh was kind of wasted as a villain. He got less to go on than in the original story, where he was obsessed with ending all life out of paranoia that eventually something might evolve that could surpass him. Here he's just a generic bad guy who wants to kill everything for no real given reason. His defeat was also pretty silly. You're telling me that the god who scared the piss out of the Toymaker couldn't get out of a rope? Yeah it's a science rope, but its still a rope. The Toymaker and the Maestro could casually alter reality but the guy who scares both of them is beaten by a hook. Also, Sutekh survives being dumped into the time vortex the first time and the big solution to him returning even more power is to dump him in the vortex again. Brilliant plan. The Toymaker and Maestro were beaten in a way consistent with their godly domain (losing a game and finding a specific sequence of music). It would have been a lot cooler if Sutekh's defeat followed that trend. Use some kind of symbolic defeat of death to undo his actions.

Calling back to 73 Yards without even attempting to explain what in the sam hell was going on in that episode is kind of annoying. You could have tied the blatant magic of that plot into the pantheon, but nope.

The reveal of Ruby's mom's identity was silly. I guess I can buy Suteks thinking she was pointing at him and his paranoia of thinking she somehow saw him resulting in him accidentally imbuing her with powers by believing she had powers. That's not really what the show went with, but I can pretend.

Ruby referring to her bio mom as her real mom was a big oof moment. A real slap in the face to her adoptive mom.

Davies is so obsessed with giving bizarre hints to future stories he's now doing it as a season-ending cliffhanger. "Ooh, who is the mysterious neighbor? You'll just have to keep watching to find out!". Moffat did that too during 11's run and he ended up having too much hanging plot threads with the Silence, church, Kovarian, Trenzalore, etc that he had to slam it together in one absolute mess of a finale. Please don't do that again. That being said, it really speaks to how awful of a head writer Chibnal was that Davies can still write circles around him.

Consistently through the new series the season-long story arcs have been my least favorite part of each season. I much prefer the standalone episodes. The classic show almost never did running plotlines. The only ones I can think of off the top of my head are the key to time and trial of a time lord arcs, the latter of which was so bad it almost killed the show. I would love a season of nothing but standalone episodes with maybe a two-parter or two.

If you want a (in my opinion) better take on the Doctor fighting gods, the Big Finish audio drama elder gods storyline is a better one, consisting of the dramas House of Blue Fire, Protect and Survive, Black and White, Gods and Monsters, Afterlife, and Signs and Wonders. There's some backstory involved, but I didn't listen to most of that and still followed the story just fine. A Big Finish story featuring Sutekh that I liked better than this episode is the two parter of Kill the Doctor!, and The Age of Sutekh, found on the Fourth Doctor Adventures season 7 volume 2 collection. And if you haven't seen Sutekh's debut in the Pyramids of Mars, drop everything and go watch it now.

This season only getting 8 episodes was criminal. Next season better be at least 12. Fucking Disney+. 15 is a fantastic Doctor and Ruby ended up growing on me a lot even after the Christmas episode put a bad taste in my mouth. I do think the show has pulled itself out of the hole the late Moffat and Chibnal eras dug for it. Not saying there's weren't good episodes in those eras, but I do think this season helped bring new Who back to its late-RTD/early Moffat high point.