#and an awful person and I'm fucked up and a loser and not healthy and a burden

[justaholeinmysoul]

I'm so depressed and stressed I feel like crying the whole day. I swear I speak like gigi Hadid

[esteemedproblem]

Vriska & Terezi

[Plain Text: Vriska & Terezi]

When I first got into homestuck at 15 I was filled with so much hatred towards Vriska and this ship. People genuinely saying Vriska was without flaw and this relationship was healthy goals just infuriated us for some reason. Like we love flawed characters and awful fictional relationships because they are interesting to read! However, just at least back then, I could never find people who actually portrayed them with their flaws. They always just sanded them off.

However, now adays, it's just mildy annoying, and I can enjoy this fuckery. Both of these characters are flawed, and their relationship actively harms both of them, and that's interesting! It's tragic, it's fun, it's awful and beautiful! These girls ruin their own lives, each other's lives, and the lives of those around them in a horrid dance.

Terezi is entirely codependent on Vriska, even after her friends are hurt and killed and she is blinded by Vriska she hesitates at stopping her from causing more harm. Terezi is alone in a forest without a real lusus and I'd bet money Vriska was her first friend and first person to show interest in her so the idea of losing her is devastating. Even after all the things she does in game playing a part in the end of everything because Vriska wanted to be the hero and still spending the rest of her life looking for her. She seems incapable of getting as close with others as she is with Vriska. Mild friendships with bullying and games but never talking deeper and getting into a different toxic relationship with Gamzee.

Vriska. Where do you start. She was raised by one of the worst lusus, if not the worst. (Feferi's sucks but seemed to not give a shit as long as she was fed) Vriska, I'm sure since she exited grub form, he was forced to kill other children to feed her lusus. Befriended someone who idolized her, some asshole fish, some cute boy she was convinced was going to die without her help. She both thinks she is the most important person in the world and the worst if she is not constantly proving how cool she is. Kids with good self-esteem don't create a villain to kill to become the hero. She knows all her friends hate her or are angry with her, and this was a chance to change that. Even then, when she did become better, it was in a gross relationship with Meenah and then abandoned when she wasn't fun anymore.

These two kids are so incredibly fucked from start til finish. They never really get better or have an end to their story. Vriska is never seen again and never gets her starlight and praise that she worked so hard to get, and Terezi keeps looking for her when she might not even be out there anymore unintentionally ignoring all of her friends that are back on earth. They don't get their happy ending.

I would love for them to, though. My favorite ship flavor is probably moirails for them. For them to have each others back and work towards happiness and healing together and getting their chaos out in constructive ways that doesn't get them or the people they care about hurt. Feelings jams where they don't feel the need to impress each other anymore. No more trying to seem perfect and cool just talking about how fucked up everything was and how they're hurt each other without the fear the other would call them a loser anymore. They have such potential for hurt/comfort and a moirail slowburn just imagine it with me for just a moment.

I want them to have fun and I don't want them to change completely I just want them to heal and learn how to be a version of themselves that they can be happy with and doesn't get them justly killed. Is that too much to ask for?

[theaustinrockwell]

The Explosiveness of Masculine Failures

There are a few channels and podcasts that I listen to, that are made by dudes in their 50s and 60s giving their advice to younger men. A lot of them talk about failure and what to do afterward. The failures that they bring up are pretty heinous things that I have never considered like driving drunk or cheating on your girlfriend or wife. Hell, the things that I consider unforgivable failures in my life or the fatal flaws that I see in myself actually pale in comparison to those things. Anyway, the character of both the failures and the willingness to bounce back and improve yourself that these men talk about has an air of explosiveness in both good and bad ways. The cycle of failure in a healthy man seems to be about action.

When I look back at my failures, one, they don't look as bad as driving drunk or being an abusive alcoholic, and two, they are characterized by an unrelenting desire to improve in the days and weeks that follow. That's what makes the mistakes "okay." The mistakes themselves are bad, but since we're all human and mistakes are unavoidable, the cycle as a whole (make mistake, then apologize, then improve) is actually not so bad, and I become a better person for it.

What I mean is that, though my social and relationship mistakes eat at me and make me feel like a broken loser, these mistakes are necessary and almost a good thing, because of the growth that they cause. Yeah, I fuck up in spectacular ways, but the lessons that are imparted upon me are fucking golden.

I think spectacular fuck ups are necessary for a man to live a life of action and purpose. Since mistakes are a given, because we're not Jesus Fucking Christ, a large volume of mistakes is not indicative of brokenness but of the daring and adventure of a man who is not afraid to take action in life. Let's say you have two men, one is cowardly and the other is courageous. Let's also make up a number and say 20% of the time, they make mistakes because they're human, and these could be small mistakes or huge embarrassing blunders. We'll say that means they do well 80% of the time which is a grade of B-. Not bad.

Now, imagine all of the actions that either the cowardly or the courageous man will take. If the cowardly man only tries 10 things, he'll only make mistakes 20% of the time, which is 2 mistakes. 2 mistakes is acceptable. We won't exile the cowardly man, because 2 mistakes is nothing. But what if the courageous man is out pushing his boundaries every day and trying to be a force for good and he does 100 things? Since he's human, he'll also fuck up 20% of the time. That's way more than 2 mistakes now. That's 20 mistakes. That's a lot of fuck ups. Is he a worse person than the cowardly man?

I'm trying to develop a framework for how to take action and not be so timid without making huge mistakes. I'm not sure how to, since it seems like being biased towards action naturally invites mistakes, simply because of the nature of statistics and being a fallible human. Maybe there is no real minimization of mistakes, because I can never have all of the information. There is merely doing my best with the information that I have or can get, then there are apologies afterwards for when I fuck up. Hell, the more obsessively I try to minimize mistakes, the more people have been put off by it. It can even come off as cold and calculating to hold social situations with such a tight fist, but I digress.

Whatever timid perfectionism that I have approached the world with, it seems that society, especially women that I've had flings with, have voted that they do not want that. If they can get a great super achiever of a man, then sure, that's preferable. But it seems like people hate a man who refuses to act out of fear.

My final thought on mistakes and forgiveness is that it seems like men are expected to make big, awful mistakes. Society makes room for it (to an extent). What they don't make room for is a timid man. I see this in why women forgive male cheating and why men can shake hands after a fist fight. Male mistakes are explosive and then they're over. There's a handshake, then it's in the past. I much prefer that framework, because I want to be both able to act and have the space to improve after I fuck up. Humans who make mistakes aren't broken. Men can't become the best versions of themselves if the social framework says to hold their mistakes over their heads forever.

[kingspite]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

♚ WELCOME TO MY BLOG ♚

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

: ̗̀➛ ABOUT ME ♔

hii ! call me Felix! :]

✶ 19 yo, white

✶ nonbinary transsexual first and foremost 🏳️‍⚧️. transmasc genderfluid (mostly demi-male). bisexual + greyromantic/arospec (?)

✶ pronouns: he/they/fae/rot/igni (she > ask before using)

✶ basque (bzk) (spanish)

✶ languages: 🇪🇦, 🇩🇪, 🇺🇲, (🇲🇫 , a little). (currently learning 🇹🇩 + 🇷🇺)

✶ ☀️ ♏︎ , ⬆️ ♌︎ , 🌙 ♉︎ . INFJ ⅘

✶ 89% chances of being OCD + Maybe??autistic?/NPD?(??). definitely some flavor of neurodivergency. idek but i have things to do so i don't have time to think about that right now! :))))

: ̗̀➛ INTERESTS ♔

✎ Literature, film, animation, poetry, linguistics. Politics, philosophy and history/queer history, ocasionally. Also anime and cartoons. also drawing, writing, reading, etc etc.

✎ more fandom-centred, but will post about any of the above ^ as well.

✎ VERY multifandom

ೃ⁀➷ MAIN FANDOMS :

Red Queen series, The Hunger Games/TBOSAS, The Poppy War series, Dune series, My Hero Academia, Grishaverse series, ATLA, Infinity Train, Attack on Titan, Chainsaw Man, HoTD, Gravity Falls (but I reblog stuff about other things too)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

👑 RED QUEEN ⚡️

SHIPS

Leader of Thomaven + Mareven nations (I don't actually ship Mare and Maven romantically, their canon dynamic just has been keeping me clinically deranged and unhinged and feral for years. like I adore them but please don't become canon ever. (actual mareven shippers who think they should end up together pls DNI :))

Maven x Iris enthusiast (is there a ship name for them??? if there is please someone correct me). Started as a crackship now we're here

Marecal #1 supporter + #1 Evangelane enthusiast !! also like Shade x Farley a whole lot! :)

Coriara enthusiast too (let me be delusional idk. comphet hit them both hard).

Not much of a fan of Kilorn x Cameron, don't rlly mind the ship either.

CHARACTERS

Can u believe I'm a sophomore college student and still I have a PhD in Maventology. Consult me before doing as much as thinking about him. I'm def not chronically clinically insanely deranged about him. I like him a normal, healthy, and perfectly stable and definitely not autistic amount. I do not relate to him on a spiritual level at all, he absolutely isn't "just like me fr fr". Also he fucked up bad but god forbid a twink ass bisexual guy with 87 mental illnesses and 56 personality disorders be a little bit of a silly goofy jester. my poor little meow meow my loser bf my 3-apples-tall son my whole lifeline.

Definitely a Maven apologist but also he did everything wrong and was an awful, horrible person and he's also my little baby who deserved more love. yknow how it is. also toxic maven stans who love him but hate mare and cal and also sexualize him to filth BIG DNI. you're weird!!

Also dm me before speaking on Mare Barrow or Cal Calore, please and thank you. they consume my every-waking thought, both individually and as a ship :))

Devoted to the Queens of Girlbossia Evangeline Samos and Iris Cygnet (they did many things wrong but god forbid women do anything🙄).

Also Evangeline hatred is absolutely not deserved and NOT welcome here.

BIG Kilorn Warren, Shade Barrow, Cameron Cole and Coriane Jacos enthusiast. AND Elara Merandus enthusiast (and borderline apologist)

RELATIONSHIPS

CEO of the Calore brothers. No one understands them like I do (u can trust me i have older sibling issues). and again pls do consult me before speaking on them. The amount of mental illness they give me every single minute of my life is beyond human comprehension and they make me soooo miserable beyond belief and the amount of love i have for them is immesurable and they don't even know it !!😔

Jacos siblings, Cole siblings enthusiast.

PhD in Merandus family-tology - and with Merandus family I mean Elara and Maven. Like that's literally me and my mom what are u talking about. every time i think about them i age up 89 years they make me convulse and shriek on the floor. no one criticize them without my consent thank u 🫶

Also House Merandus, House Jacos + House Calore (more lowkey) enthusiast

Note! Hate the Calore brothers all you like (ur wrong, but it's allowed ig) but Mare haters are NOT welcome in this blog (especially the ones that call her "annoying". get a grip ❤️).

Also if you hate Elara you are right but also very boring. and not welcome here either.

🐍THE HUNGER GAMES/TBOSAS 🌹

Consult me before speaking on Snowplinth or Coriolanus or Sejanus individually thank you very much. Also like Snowbaird a lot (not as a ship!). Coriolanus Snow is bisexual and OCD/BPD yes it's a canon fact he told me himself. Lucy Gray Baird defender (can't believe I have to say it but some of you have god awful takes on her omg).

# Peeta Mellark enthusiast. also Everlark, Haymitch, Cinna and Johana enthusiast. Also like Katniss a lot lot she deserved none of that!! Sort of Gale apologist (didn't like him at first, think he is WAY overhated now).

🧧 THE POPPY WAR 🔥

Fang Runin, Yin Nezha and Chen Kitay are all my children and under my protection. I apologize Rin's war crimes as a full-time job now, too. Have been deranged obsessed with her losergirl bisexual BPD ass since day 1 🤞🤞(I've only read the first book, so I know no further spoilers!!!). Chagaltan enthusiast (they are both incredibly gay just too busy planning mass murder to realize!) I love Altan Trengsin a normal amount as well :)))

❄️ MY HERO ACADEMIA 🔥

Touya apologist, LoV apologist, Shigadabi/Dabihawks and Togachako enthusiast. Also Hawks, Lady Nagant, Overhaul, Aizawa, Shinsou enthusiast. Todoroki family enthusiast too, especially Touya and Natsuo (Ende*vor not included).

♦️ GRISHAVERSE ♠️

Kanej and Wesper lover. Kaz Brekker and Nikolai Lantsov CEO, Jesper Fahey and Nina Zenik enthusiast :)

🌪🔥 ATLA 🌊🌱

consult me before speaking on Azula or Zuko thanks :] (I don't really care much about ships in this fandom, so I don't really have strong opinions about it lol. Still, i'm more of a Kataang and Sokka x Suki enthusiast). If you hate Katara or Aang I hate you <3

Also the whole Zutata vs Kataang ship is tired. If ur a Zuko stan AND a toxic Zutara shipper get out, idc

⚔️ ATTACK ON TITAN 🩸

Eren, Armin, Jean enthusiast. Don't really care for ships in this anime either, except maybe Jeanmarco and Historia/Ymir. Not a big fan of Eremika or Eremin (I like them way more platonically), but again idrc. the only thing I really care about is my mental health after watching this

♾️ INFINITY TRAIN 🚃

Simon Laurent #1 Connosieur. thank god Infinity Train is not that famous and I can gatekeep this bpd/ocd-ass blond gay twink demon. I might like Simon and Grace a little bit, they might make me a little bit sick (in a non-ship way!!!!!). Also am a Lake enthusiast and canon-trans-Lake truther, and Amelia is very cool too. Sure would haven been very cool if we'd seen her and Hazel make a found family :)))) sure would be :))) Also! season 4 defender and Ryan Akagi enthusiast. Also Min-Gi did nothing wrong he was just going through some things!).

🪚CHAINSAW MAN 🩸

Denji enthusiast, Aki Hayakawa's #1 lover. no one gets his sadboy eyes look and lack of wanting to save himself like I do. Also #1 Akiangel enthusiast. Also Nr 1 Hayakawa family (that is Denji, Aki and Power) enthusiast. found family save me found family save me found family

🏜 DUNE 🪱

I've only watched the movies, but it's enough to know that Chani deserves better, that Jessica served intergallactic lesbian pussy for almost three hours straight, and that blue-eyed white men must be stopped (still love Paul tho). House Harkonnen enthusiast.

🛡 HOUSE OF THE DRAGON 🐉

Rhaenicent lover, Alicent apologist (what did she do wrong, really), Aegon enthusiast. Neutral leaning team green. love some of the blacks, don't really love most their fans that much :)) . More plot-/individual characters-focused than team-focused, really. if you are blatantly misogynistic towards ANY female hotd character (yes, including the ones you hate), gtfo of this blog.

Other Things I reblog stuff about:

͟͟͞͞➳ The owl house, GRAVITY FALLS, Arcane, Voltron, etc

͟͟͞͞➳ Hannibal, Interview with the vampire, His Dark Materials, Miss Peregrine's House for Peculiar Children, A Series of Unfortunate Events, etc

͟͟͞͞➳ Fullmetal Alchemist, Banana Fish, Monster, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Devilman Crybaby, Nana, etc etc. Big fan of psych horror anime!

͟͟͞͞➳ Studio Ghibli, 80/90s anime

͟͟͞͞➳ The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

�� LITERATURE

☆ Favorite genres:

(high) fantasy, horror, sci-fi, gothic lit, classic lit, OE/ME lit, speculative fiction, anything "dark academia".

☆ Favorite books/series:

Red Queen series, The Hunger Games, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, The Poppy War, Grishaverse, the Picture of Dorian Gray, anything (and I mean it) by Donna Tartt, Terry Pratchett or R. F. Kuang. and many, many more.

etc.

~ I reblog art, writing, poetry and fandom stuff, but above all I reblog Silliness :)

TW‼️

// I reblog body horror/gore/sensitive stuff sometimes (usually tagged as such). If they're not tagged with a "tw: gore/body horror/blood" , they're under #🔪 or #🩸.

DNI

- terfs, transmeds, proshippers, pro-israel freaks (just bigots or weirdos in general.)

[cerastes]

What's Blue Archive like? You seem to like it, despite how overtly horny it is.

TL;DR: Blue Archive is what happens when Girls' Frontline and Majikoi do the Fusion Dance without parental supervision.

Long Answer: Basically, it's a great side game. The 'gameplay' is barebones and squalid at best, but gameplay is not why you peruse Blue Archive, it's the high production values elsewhere. Blue Archive, like many other gacha games, suffers from Fuck Awful Marketing Disease, since every ad is basically [Hey Sensei You Can Stick It In My Pooper! CLICK HERE] and, I'm not going to lie to you here, there's plenty of horny designs, going from completely predictable, run-of-the-mill, ABC 101 horny designs like Those Two Maids With Gigantic Tits You've Seen Fanart Of Everywhere By Now, ultimately inoffensive and expected from a gacha, to whatever the shit this clusterfuck of bad design choices is:

But, when you sit down and play... Well, 'play' is generous, when you sit down and read or otherwise consume Blue Archive, you'll find yourself face to face with a cast where half the members are weirdos and the other half are unhinged, in a setting where everyone is extremely durable to the point where there's no real deaths despite the fact that firefights are an every day occurrence. It's reminiscent of Touhou in a way, in that everything is more or less solved by pointing your heaviest ordinance at the other party and pulling the trigger until they are not a problem anymore. Loser packs up their shit and scrams. Or maybe they try again later. It's a very lighthearted world. Sure, there's a sprawling black market, powerful underground societies committing all sorts of heinous crimes, you name it, but end of the day, the solutions are almost always "and now we will shoot the FUCK out of each other with guns" with a healthy heaping serving of comedy all the while.

This is a librarian, for example, who is, in fact, ripped as all fuck from lifting books all day, about to bench press some loud punks at her library. She says this line after catching a punch and then proceeds to put the other girl in a sleeper choke.

These girls are facing harsh financial problems because their school is deep in debt. Nonomi's (to the left) proposal was to become an idol group a la Love Live. No one liked that idea, and instead, Shiroko, girl in the middle, who is positively unhinged and regularly carries out drone strikes, proposes robbing a bank. She even prepared masks and blueprints of the bank, and she memorized the guard shifts, camera field of visions, and entire map of the bank. The gang likes this idea...

...And eventually, after some stuff happens in between, they carry it out. After forcing this uninvolved person in the middle into helping them (and making her a makeshift mask with a taiyaki bag). She reluctantly agrees but after the heist, she actually says it was a lot of fun.

And this catgirl canonically fell for a pyramid scheme.

That's the general feel of the game. Just a big ball of fun that doesn't take itself too seriously. And, again, it comes with some pretty big production values: Great music, GREAT presentation of the barebones gameplay (the 3D chibi models are hands down the best I've seen in general, full of detail and well made animations), consistent and high quality art, and even if some of the designs are bad, there's plenty of other pretty good designs.

Such as bastard,

And bastard,

Dog with a mortar and a lack of sleep,

And Jessie and James from Team Rocket if they had a pimped out PSG-1 instead of Meowth.

Overall, it's a good game to have on the side and fiddle around while doing something else. Fun setting, fun dialogue, high production values, just a lot of light hearted fun to kill time. Here's a bop:

My favorite character is Team Rocket With A Rifle up there because her whole thing is that she's a dweeb who decided she had enough of being a dweeb and started working on herself to be The Coolest Outlaw after watching one too many prohibition era noir detective films, but even if she nails the look and opens up her own illicit business, Problem Solver 68, "If you have the dime, we'll do the crime", which she staffs with her friends and otherwise pays for part-timer goons in order to inflate her ranks, she's still ultimately a dweeb and gets owned every other minute. Here's Team Rocket's theme:

So, overall, as I said, the general aesthetic and poise of Girls' Frontline in that absolutely everyone is packing heat and it's all about shooting the crap out of each other, combined with the zaniness and lighthearted nature of Majikoi, where everything is solved through DBZ-level fights with slapstick thrown in the midst, and when everything is said and done, ultimately no one is permanently harmed and we just kind of laugh it off.

I rate Blue Archive a Great Sidegame out of 10.

[cartoonsaint]

Mr. Gordon Freeman for the ask game? 👉👈

ooo! i'll answer for both Gordons, but my thoughts about the original are relatively shallow whoops

Canon Gordon Freeman

FAV CANON TRAIT: i see his work w teleportation as a metaphor for his drive :) he WILL go from point A to point B, however it can possibly be done. doesn’t always take into account ”common sense” limitations, which is sort of awesome for science but not for personal health (thank god for the suit). sometimes clever puzzle solving is the answer, but sometimes the most efficient way is to go straight through the goddamn wall.

LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: omg, that he’s in an apocalyptic first-person shooter w zombies? SO not my thing, but somehow i ended up here anyways. mostly i think he deserves a hot shower and cozy pajamas and not to be covered w blood.

FANON PET PEEVE: i’m baffled by characterizations of him that don’t take into account the facts that he is capable of great violence as well as dorky playfulness (the snark idle animation! vent races!). also i have blocked SO many people for being weird about shipping?? like HL2’s freemance thing kinda squicked me out too but damn dudes, come on

Gordos Feetman

FAV CANON TRAIT: he's SO concerned about how he appears to other people while simultaneously being the LEAST SELF-AWARE CHARACTER IN THE SERIES, my GOSH. man has no IDEA how to talk to people: comes striding into Black Mesa like he's the one in charge (“move! move, i’m running late”), rude about the kind and friendly Dr. Coolatta, overly familiar w every scientist (even when Bubby flat out tells him to shut the fuck!), when questioned by benrey goes "i'm perfectly okay! i am perfectly healthy, and smart," like that's anything close to what a normal person would say, ever. then the first chance he gets to actually sit down with the Science Team over coffee he goes straight to, "you guys got families? ...what was your childhood like?" hello? 24 hours later he asks "what're your guys' hopes and dreams?" HELLO?? buddy the unspoken social rules... my god. he does not know them

plus his "nobody likes me. nobody likes me! i've dealt with that my whole life." like... aw dude. thank goodness the Science Team is full of weirdos too. they can jive with his off-beat social skills and seem to get that at his heart, Gordon Freeman is just a pretty nice semi-loser who wants to goof off and help take care of the people important to him ;-; ...and who will also commit murder at the slightest suggestion from others that it's fine

LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: i wish he'd been more consistent about joshua! wayne has mentioned retconning the framed picture as just gordon being a nervous fuckin weirdo, but :( on my first watch-through i was like "hm. something about the way gordon tries to shepherd the Science Team with a weirdly optimistic, know-better attitude despite the fact that they all totally ignore him feels familiar..." and then he was like "i have a little kid!" and i went "OH NO WONDER," bc at the time i was also a 27yo spending a lot of time w a small child who preferred not to listen to my somewhat hysterical requests to not Do the Thing.

so like i'm fond of joshua's existence. and i get that trying to fit him into hl2vrai would be difficult but... plz wayne don't kill him. not again D8

FANON PET PEEVE: sometimes artists draw him like he’s 45, which is odd to me, but to be fair his model does make him look terrible for a 27yo. otherwise i wish there was more exploration of how much of a fuckin WEIRDO he is, bc despite being relatively normal compared to the Science Team he’s NOT normal compared to like anyone else. and i‘d love to see more of gordon struggling and benrey having to learn to help, rather than things only going one way. and more of him goofing off, even in awful situations! like i’m fascinated by him messing with the ribs of a dead dude on the ground next to benrey like “ooo i’m gonna touch em haha... u ever been to chili’s” buddy u r NOT normal <3

OK! thank you for asking about the gordons, it is fun to stir up my feelings about these characters and try to synthesize them this way :) anyone interested in my favetrait/leastfavetrait/fanonpetpeeve for other characters can send me an ask if they like. thanks :D <3!

[tiny-smallest]

I know this is a horrible time to ask you this, but what is your opinion on Pearl? Just Pearl herself. If you don't want to answer, because of this awful drama, I get it, but I don't know, I'm curious.

I rip Pearl a new asshole a lot because she’s genuinely vile to Greg (and also... Rose’s Scabbard) for no reason other than the man felt love for someone who reciprocated who did not reciprocate those same feelings for Pearl, or at least in a way that Rose felt would work out in a relationship. The way she treated Greg is fucking awful. From the very beginning he tried to be friends with her and she would just keep throwing it back in his face. I think he only ever snapped at her twice- once when she decided it was necessary to call him a passing phase (which, though Pearl didn’t know... considering what we learned of the guy’s history with abuse? giant yikes; no wonder he fought back and even then he did so in the most mild goddamn way instead of telling her where she could shove that microphone) and her deal in Space Race.

That being said she is actually (arguably) my favorite of the original Crystal Gems! She’s also not the only one to share blame with being cruel to Greg, either; Amethyst’s pretty fucking awful too. Maximum Capacity, holy shit. Even Garnet’s not sinless there, either- see The Message.

Greg from the opening of the series is very, very convinced he’s going to do nothing but fuck things up if he touches them. That he was a part of their world insofar as Rose, but deserves no place in the larger scheme of things. That didn’t grow in a vacuum; that is the kind of casual, worn-down acceptance of something that’s been drilled in. The Gems’ prejudice towards humans and their grief over Rose’s death make for a very ugly combination that unfortunately Greg’s in the crosshairs of, given that he’s the father of the pregnancy that killed her. Pearl is monstrous to him but she’s far from the only one, so to single her out without even mentioning the other gems’ part in all this isn’t fair.

All this to say: Pearl is a complicated character whose motivations and roots make a lot of sense. She’s needlessly cruel to him, but we learn why. We learn about the intense abuse that gemkind put her through, and how she naturally has a deep attachment to the person who made it possible for her to leave all that and grow beyond it. For some reason their romantic relationship failed (or maybe never seriously started) and she was never able to let go of that, but she sort of comforted herself with ‘well, at least the people she fools around with now and again will never mean as much to her as I do.’

But then, finally, one of them did. Rose finally fell in love, and not with Pearl. After all those years I never thought I’d lose. But she did. She played a one-sided game and came out the loser because that was the only way that could ever end. 

And if she thought maybe Rose would move on after Greg’s inevitable death, surprise! Rose dies first! Not only will she never reciprocate, not only will you never be able to make those romantic fantasies work, but you will never have anything with her, your best friend, ever again. Not one more moment of the deep intimacy you used to share with her. It’s gone. She’s gone. Forever.

Grief and self-loathing is a hell of a toxic stew. It’s super interesting to watch her learn to deal with both of these things in a healthy way. She stops isolating. She rekindles her friendship with her other best friends. She grows closer to her son. She makes (not enough, but it’s a start) amends with Greg, and realizes the friend she could have had all along. They grow closer as a family unit. She begins to hang around humans more and realize they’re not silly wastes of space. I don’t know if she consciously recognizes the latter for what her attitude had been before, but the behavior changes, so that’s a good beginning.

Due to how her story unfolds she also presents a super interesting perspective, too. At the start of the series it’s assumed she’s a tech junkie who took up the ballet thing as a hobby. Surprise! She’s designed to gravitate towards a lot of the behaviors we’re used to from her, and the gearhead stuff is what was picked up as her growing beyond early interests! A lot of the ‘uhhhhh Homeworld sounds kind of... bad??’ feeling bubbling up in the early seasons are courtesy of Pearl- Jasper calling her defective, Peridot explaining what pearls are for, that sort of thing.

Pearl needs to have a much longer talk with Greg about her past behavior and she needs to have a come to jesus moment about how she’s considered humans in general before now, but Cartoon Network sucks so that’s what fanfiction can be for. What we managed to get of her in the canon series was a delight and I enjoy her very much.

I just also sometimes want to strangle her every time I rewatch certain episodes.

[catradoraism]

what was the star wars three hour spiel about? what were/are your thoughts? I'm curious

anon,,,, thank u for indulging me. i will never have children but take my firstborn. anyway gonna start by saying i wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that i like star wars,,, irl at least. that garbage is for losers. that being said let’s talk about why i hate this garbage (full disclosure i do love star wars but man do i have a lot of problems w it)

the writing is shitty and inconsistent. (due to the fact that the movies were literally passed around to different directors like a ball on a sports team) with good writing i honestly think the sequel trilogy could’ve surpassed the original one bc the potential was there!! ffs

honestly the sw writers don’t know how to do anything but waste potential

not to expose myself as a (former, i stress. Former. i hate them now) r*ylo but their arc was awful. with proper writing we rly could’ve had it all,,,,,, i was rooting for them to end up together w a healthy dynamic but that <3 didn’t <3 work <3 out . which is a shame bc the actors had a lot of chemistry

rey is a palpatine. disgusting. absolutely did not have the WOAH plot twist!!1!1!1 effect the writers were clearly going for. she should’ve stayed a nameless orphan that would’ve been much better but no. everyone has to be tied to the space kardashians somehow

kylos “redemption” arc. kill it. like all of it. kill it <3

probably my BIGGEST issue with star wars. the absolute disservice they did to finn (yeah not even kylos shitty redemption). arguably the best and most compelling character of the new trilogy and they basically just made him an accessory to rey. WHAT THE FUCK!!! he’s literally a Former Stormtrooper who defected bc he hated the cruelty of the new order. the sith? i don’t know i forgot the name. oh wow he’s like adora. anyway his arc HAD THE POTENTIAL. he was also a type of sw character we’ve never seen before. before finn, we always saw stormtroopers as mindless soldiers who were pure evil but here’s one who was actually complex and wow the writers managed to mess that up too. anyway finn should’ve been the protagonist haha and i’m saying that as a huge rey fan but his arc was more compelling

ok for the. less salty part of my spiel lmfao. i love anakin a lot. i just love the fallen hero trope so much and to me the best part about anakins arc is that he’s essentially the exact same person when he switches sides. the one consistent thing about him was that he would do anything for love and that’s what made him good but ultimately made him turn to the dark side. it’s just. such a great arc. i truly think the prequels are underrated but the script is soooo cringey i get why. again. wasted potential here

anyway haha don’t watch star wars. stream the mandalorian instead <3 u get to see baby yoda. it’s also better written. also haha reylos don’t attack me i don’t want star wars discourse today dhfbfbtghfj

[myinterestsvary-writes]

The Duff is like Sierra Burgess is a Loser, but WORSE!

All the characters are bland, unfunny, and unentertaining. The plot is nonexistent.

The main complaint I have from both movies however are the protagonists. Both are unsympathetic and irritatingly insecure.

Bianca assaults her friend who is actually genuinely harmless other than when he's being unintentionally hurtful and is just overall angry with how people supposedly view her even though that never mattered to her before, or at least it shouldn't have because her well-intentioned friend explained the term, "DUFF" quite decently, to where I truly believe one should not take it seriously... Why is her first instinct to get angry at her friends when she's come to accepting how a lot of people see her? They have barely any chemistry as friends as well (as I'm typing this, they just kissed 🤮, reminds me of School Days with the concept of those casual "practice sessions" being a main beginning plot point except those two's relationship was actually sweet disregarding the darker themes surrounding it). Bianca's literally very disgusting and has no recognizable redeemable qualities other than her "I'm not like other girls" personality, if that counts as one at least.

No one can top Sierra Burgess however because everything she does in the movie should be ticked toward her time in jail. In terms of overall movie quality though, at least she's far more interesting and a direct lead to far more charming and compelling characters like her best friend, the "mean girl", and her love interest (with that swoon-worthy scene of her faking being deaf and the hand holding and staring into one another's eyes as if, as if there's actually something there - oh yeah, about that nonconsensual make out scene too...) Now those are actually good and relatable characters.

Holy fuck! How is that weirdo able to find her and video tape her for HBIC Bella Crackhead Thorne to see?

"You look good but you don't look like you." shut up, bro... She looks better and more tolerable, THANK GOD!

Why is her libido so high, I'm so repulsed?!?! Peak Incel behaviour, and from our girl MW at that - then again she's being typecast into this role, which is very unfortunate.

But how do you go from Katara to Bianca?

Now, her feelings are hurt and she's crying to indie music...

20 minutes left, might as well finish. This movie felt so aimless and her seeking to not become a DUFF barely registered in my mind because it was overshadowed by her awful behaviour doing so.

They're following the classic rom-com formula very poorly, and I don't understand why they didn't just do their own thing from the midpoint mark so to at least have the movie be mildly entertaining.

Bella Thorne is the best part of the movie, and I usually dislike her an awful lot in almost everything she stars in. Cartoonishly herself from what I perceive, she's beautiful in this by the way.

Please don't listen to the incel on self esteem, just laugh in her face. Please, let someone be relatable...

Oof, imagine claiming B-I-A-N-C-A in front of everyone like that. Imagine realistically living that down the next day.

Could they show the sex scene in detail though? What actually felt built up was this girl's strong, strong want to have sex, and so I felt entitled to an explicit sex scene between the two, you know, because I didn't want to feel as awful anymore.

Anyways, imagine being in a happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship. I wouldn't know watching this as a preteen.

Now she's literally telling me the theme of the movie, but instead it feels like my time was wasted, even more so.

[kazkari]

i'm sorry you had to go through that, and i hope you will never have to again... do you mind sharing your experience? if not, that's understandable, if you don't want to think about it. i hope you can get some justice along with the other victims

This might be a bit rambly, I am currently still trying to sort my thoughts on the thing that are happening...Mind you that I to this point do not have the full info, because even now there’s stuff leaking that makes me go “Oh.”. There’s probably a lot of better and more in-depth accounts by people that were more connected than I am. I might also forget some stuff because wowie this thing goes WAY back. I invite people from back then to add or correct me if I misremembered something!

I am again, going to make abundantly clear that I was neither a close friend of him nor am I one of the underaged people he had inappropriate relations with. I do not claim to be a victim or a survivor. I do not claim to have been abused by him myself. My personal beef with him included that he made me feel like I’m a sad, pitiful loser that nobody would have any interest in besides pity.That my only worth is to be someone’s charity project.  Someone you can point to and go...aw, look at this sad lonely piece of shit...Am I not a good person for talking to them?

 But I’ve also seen the devastating effect his general behaviour had on people, even if I’m not going to bring up any names. 

 I was a mediocre artist in the fandom and, to be completely honest, incredibly immature for my age...Otherwise, I wouldn’t have based so much of my self worth on a parasocial relationship to someone playing videogames on youtube. I’m also going to come forth and say that not all of my behaviour in the past was super great myself. I struggled a lot with mental illness, suicidal ideation and did in no way possess the emotional maturity appropriate for someone my age.It became increasingly evident that there weren’t healthy boundaries in this fandom, whatsoever. I’m ashamed of having not spoken out earlier due to my social anxiety and my fear of getting harassed over it.  This in no way apologizes that I sometimes have acted as an absolute asshole back when I still had wool covering my eyes, just an explanation. I’ve probably hurt my fair share of people, some of I will never even have the ability to apologize to.

From what I can tell my experiences were pretty similar to a lot of other people leaving that cesspool behind. It was a culmination of seeing someone do nothing while their friends struggled, even to the point of suicidal ideation, to just to keep up the facade of a clean funnyman that can do no wrong, seeing the constant outright gaslighting and manipulation targeted at people that brought up even the slightest hint of criticism. People HAVE spoken up and said their piece about these things even back then when they happened, and even years later, but a lot of time warnings and critique were just swept under the rug. It was made abundantly clear, again and again, that fans weren’t taken seriously. The fandom had the reputation of being mostly made up of teenaged girls, which was constantly used against people that “acted up”. It felt like we had nothing to say and no worth beside churning out ass pats and fanart, tbh. I feel like there was a lot of manipulation going on making it seem like most of his shitty behaviour was the result of chey’s bad influence over him. Which is super fucked up. Sure, she didn’t seem like the most pleasant person to be around, btw she was also still very young and suffering from mental illness. It doesn’t excuse some of her behaviour, but making it seem like she as some dark overlord manipulating a grown ass man from the shadows? Nah. People assumed this was a way to paint her as an unredeemable crazy ex-gf in case she leaked some info on him...I get the feeling that some people are still trying to do that.

I’ve seen the way people he was very close to break and fall apart because of the way he treated them like his personal emotional garbage dump. He didn’t treat them like people, in my opinion. People have come forward on social media to detail how he treated them, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I urge you to believe them, they know what they are talking about.

There was the thing where he went for his best friends GF. Where he watched ppl get bullied out of his crew and giving them zero support. I was aware that he was having sexually charged conversations with fans, even during a time most of us didn’t even know he was in a relationship. But again, I was not aware of the scope until much later. I didn’t know it were so many. Apparently, Snake mentioned around 14 during his latest stream? (And it was HARD to know because people that had contact to him did not bring it up lightly.) Later I’d learn that he also talked to people because he felt pity towards them, more than one. It felt like people did just exist because they had some kinda use, either for direct gratification or because he could feel like a better person for saving them in some weird self-serving way.

I also hope there will be justice for the people he has hurt. They didn’t deserve to be treated like this. 

[conn-tinuity]

I'm a loser for dad son stuff so I need more peter Parker and Tony stark stuff where Tony is a better person and aaaaaaggghhh.

Indeed, anon, I fuck with you. Especially where Peter is allowed to be his own character outside of Tony's influence. The only positive interaction between them I would accept would be Peter made his own suit and all and Tony just sort of, I don't know, ran into him on the street and they struck up a conversation about how cool science is. Civil War, Homecoming, Infinity War and Far From Home are all disgusting. Canon Peter and Tony interaction is awful and so is a lot of fanfiction written for it. It's cathartic/therapeutic to read and write fanfiction where they actually have a healthy, non-problematic, non-abusive, and non-manipulative familial or student/mentor relationship. Also!! Let's not forget who Peter's real family is. May and Uncle Ben. Canon MCU can kiss my ass.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Salt and vinegar

First of all, thanks to everyone who read my first attempt at the first person writing, I always struggled with that.

I must say I didn't plan to write a second part to Cakes and accidents because I am a sucker for one shots with open endings, but I actually had a clear idea in my head about how it should continue, and I found a spark of inspiration so here is the part II.

And thanks to @tholland96 @jillanaholland for commenting.

Also part of the inspiration came from this interview in case you want to check it out.

Tom Holland x reader

One shot

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, poor table manners.

The message was bright and clear in your cellphone screen, but still you had to look at ti three more times to make sure what it says, and once the idea had sink in your head you tossed the device away in the laundry basket you were supposed to do that night as if it had somehow offended you. That wasn't real, it was a cruel joke of destiny that Tom Holland, actually Stanley, said the voice in your head, invited you to have dinner with him.

And of course you didn't want to read much into it, you have been talking in an amicable way for the last three days and he was probably trying to be friendly with you. But if you had to sit next to that charming smile and those breathtaking eyes that make you smile like an idiot just by thinking about them, for more than 20 minutes you will end up making an awkward mess of yourself and he would probably feel uncomfortable and would run away scared.

You pick up the phone and ignore the text to call your sister, she may be younger but the list of broken hearts in her past made her the perfect person to give advice, and since it was almost 8 at night she may be free in her new home all those mile away.

"Well he clearly enjoys your company" The voice of your sister told you in the phone after you briefly summarize how you meet him "Y/N why are you doing this? This Holland guy is clearly interested in you, what the hell if he said is name is Stanley or Lucas or Wenceslaus" She made a pause to let you laugh, she always did that, even when she was angry, making jokes was a second nature for Y/S/N "If anything it only means he wants to have a more normal discret experience as a young adult, and trust me it that is hard to find, you should see the blokes out here, they feel like just because they have a couple thousands followers in IG I should be kissing the floor they walk on"

"I suppose you are right, but I haven't done this in so long what if I mess it up?" You said with a voice a little more desperate than you hoped for.

"Then at least you have had dinner with a handsome lad, and you will move on. Look you are not sure if this is a date right? Then take it that way just two friends eating, a normal conversation, maybe a beer and please big sister put on a bloody dress" she said before you start lecturing her on how little you cared for gender specific clothes and she talked some more about her new school. By the time you hung up it was 9:00 and you sent the answer to his text.

Sorry, busy doing laundry. Sure mate! 6 works for you?

"Oh Y/N why did you say mate?" You asked yourself outloud, you really were bad at this.

And here I am, being useless. You are such an adult. 6 works perfect, I'll pick you. Sweet dreams mate! 😉

His text came in within minutes and you let go a relief sigh, before start thinking about what you should wear, but Y/S/N was right, you had to take it as calm as you could, and he was in fact a charming friend, worst case scenario you still were going to have dinner with Tom Holland, that couldn't be bad, and with that in mind you finally went downstairs to do the bloody laundry.

"Looking good Bristol" he said once you open the door at exactly 6:00 pm the next day. "Good thing Tessa is not coming today, will be a shame to get grass and dirt on that dress" he add pointing down to the skirt of the flowy summer dress you finally picked, looking at you for one second to long. So maybe it is a date your mind said happy.

"Oh that's too bad, I actually got her something" You said picking out something from your purse "So she won't be out there chasing innocent british pastries" You said giving him a chocolate cake plush toy. And following him out to his car.

"This is adorable" He said again smiling with his whole body, and you wonder again how does he do that? "Sorry I forgot to tell you to don't posh up, I'm actually just coming out of the gym" Actually never mind. Your mind told you since he was wearing again a simple black tshirt and dark blue jeans, and then you could notice his hair was wet, he probably had just taken a shower ... don't go there. "And I'm actually starving, chips sound good?"

"Sure, I actually didn't like the ones in Bristol so it would be nice to eat them here." Yo said trying to shake your thoughts away from the danger zone and putting on the seatbelt "Isn't it late for being at the gym? I hope you are not an excercise addict"

"I don't think I am" he said with a little laugh "But what do you think is this too much" He said with an obvious pretend innocence flexing up his arms making the tshirt rise on his abs. That's obscene sir, sorry girl you are on your own. Said your inner voice shutting down all logical thinking

"No, you look quite... healthy" You said finally looking to the left, never finding a review mirror so interesting.

"Good I would hate to be too big" he said and you could hear the amusement in his voice, and somehow the fact that he was aware of your obvious crush on him make you confident enough to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

"Obviously, period pieces never look good on beefcakes and you can't be spiderman forever" you said casually and he turn at you a bit astonished.

"When did you knew?" He said and thankfully his tone was not anger nor embarrassment just genuine curiosity "And I would love to do a period piece, what about Heathcliff ?"

"Well I don't believe there is many Staffordshire bull terriers around named Tessa" You started "But I actually recognized you when I saw you" You finally confess, feeling the pressure lifting off your shoulders "But I thought since you were not comfortable giving out your own name it wasn't my place to say anything. And Heathcliff is overrated Linton on the other hand is more of a challenge"

"Oh don't be so harsh on yourself, I didn't mind giving my name or not, it just seemed something funny to do at the time, and Tom or Stanley I actually enjoyed talking to you" He said while he found a place to park. "Do you mind walking from here? Is a nice place but doesn't have and actual car park".

"Not at all, as long is not more than 5 blocks, I am getting hungry" you said with a smile while he maneuver to park his Audi.

"O'Neill's Kingston upon Thames" He said once you were both on the ground and he once again offered you his arm "Have you ever been there? Great food"

"I actually never been there, but sounds fine, let's go" you said gladly taking his arm and walking by his side and a couple blocks later you were finally at the Irish Pub.

"A pint of Guinness and cod and chips" He said returning the menu to the waiter.

"And the lady?" He asked while you struggle to not take forever to decide what you wanted, an old bad habit that your mother have tried to change constantly.

"The Bacon cheese chips and a pint for me as well" you said finally putting the menu away.

"My kind of girl" He said and winked at you, clearly not realizing that your legs will stop working because of it "So when do you go back to bristol?" He asked and that honest interest encouraged you to speak.

"By mid September, my mother is actually about to toss my train ticket in the trash since I didn't came back for spring vacations, but I had so much work that I couldn't."

"I totally get it, whenever I'm away my dad makes such a big deal about it" he said letting go a little laugh "I mean is not the same since I didn't go to college but is sweet"

"Oh but you cross the Atlantic, they have reasons to be worried. I'm just one train away" you said and a small spark of pride shine in his eyes, was he self conscious about you being in college? No that was ridiculous. "Anyway I actually needed this, my friends from uni are in their houses and my friends from high school are too happy with their boyfriends and girlfriends to hang out with me." There I'm a loser now we are even.

"And your sister is gone, been there. I have the feeling Harry is going to break up with me when he gets a real girlfriend" he said and make you laugh, a bit louder and more nasal than you wanted.

"That's some laugh" he said laughing too but instead of making you shut up or get embarrassed you laughed louder causing the waiter to look at both of you like you were crazy while holding your food.

"Yours is no better sunshine" Yo said finally and giving a I'm so sorry look at the guy that kept looking at you and he finally put your food on the table. "This looks delicious" You said taking out one of the chips making a cheese string to extend from the hot plate.

"That's like too much cheese" He said making a funny disgusted face, and then proceeded to add more vinegar and salt to his chips.

"And that's like too much vinegar" You teased back at him, and then taking a big sip of the Guinness.

"No darling, this is too much vinegar" He said taking one of the complementary pickled eggs on de table and giving it a big bite.

"That's actually fucking disgusting..." you started but ironically and unplanned you were betrayed mid sentence by the beer and a loud and horrifying burp came out of your mouth, and the shame and the look on other people faces made you want to be swollen by the floor "Oh shit, I'm so sorry, that was so awful, I'm so gross..." The apologies start bubbling in your mouth while your face turned red and you dare to look at him, and the serious look on his face could have broken your heart in the very moment because you could almost hearing him say how you should end the dinner for once.

"Oh you wanna get tough" He said instead and took a sip of his beer and let go an even bigger burp and then looked at you with the brightest smile yet and add "Beat that baby" and he raised his opened arms as if he had won. You only smiled and nodded and you kept talking about other nonsenses until two beers and a order of onion rings later he was waiting at the door for you to came out of the bathroom to walk back to his car.

"Sorry I take forever, I went back to give a bigger tip to the waiter, we were so awful" You said at him.

"You were awful, I was being completely charming" He said and this time he didn't offer his arm to you instead simply took your hand without saying a word and before you noticed you were already walking holding it tightly.

"Of course you were, the guy put two more picked eggs at the table for you and kept looking drooling" You said and he laughed.

"Sorry sweetheart I can't turn off this pretty face" He said pointing at him when you reached the car, you couldn't agree more.

"Well he must be in love, that's a lot of vinegar to want to kiss someone" You said, again before you could think better and stop your tongue, he stood still and you questioned yourself if you had offended him, since he didn't say anything you let go of his hand and try to walk to open the door, but before you could do it he grab you by the wrist, and you froze immediately.

"That's actually quite disappointing you know?" He started no smile, but no anger either, just an honest tone, he let go of your wrist but you remained in your place "But I have never think it's okay to try and kiss someone in the first date so I figured it would be okay"

Your feet were still on the ground but for a moment your head was miles and miles away in the sky screaming of happiness and incredulity, it was a simple four letter word yet it felt like the most beautiful poem in his lips, and at the same time your logical thinking brought you back to the ground in a millisecond, you needed to be certain of what he had said.

"Well I was not aware this was a date, otherwise I wouldn't have ordered the extra onion rings" you said and give him a timid smile.

"Then I must be terrible at this" he said opening the car door for you "Although I wouldn't mind, but as I said it's a first date so I just want to take you home safely.

"Well that's really sweet of you" you started and he start the car to get back to your home "And since apparently I'm incapable of behaving like a decent person in public when I'm with you next time you should come to my place".

"I like your indecency" He said "And I would love too, are you going to tell me that you can cook too? Because in that case you are officially annoyingly adult"

"Of course, my speciality is reheated pizza in the microwave" You said and he laughed, there was a narcissistic pleasure about being able to make him laugh.

As a perfect gentleman he walked you at your door, there was so much that you wanted to tell him, but the idea of going out with him again soon was so powerful that you almost didn't mind watching him leave.

"That was the funniest and more amazing date I ever have"

"Oh stop it" You said blushing again "I'm going to start believing you and it would get to my head"

"Believe me, I almost run to the drugstore to buy a toothbrush" He said and give you a devilish wink that make you thank your door for being behind you holding you still.

"You know how unfair this is when you look like that?" You said desperately looking at your feet "And for what is worth I have an amazing evening too, and if I'm honest I wouldn't have mind at all too" You said and dare to touch his arm softly before turning your back at him to get inside.

He suddenly grabbed you by your waist and turned back to him, planting a quick soft kiss on your cheek, and you could see the fun grin on his face, he was not being considered he was torturing you with anticipation, and you love it.

"Goodbye then" He said and with one last wink he walk away and got in his car.

You stood ther for solid five minutes touching your face where he had just kissed you and watching the street, then you finally get inside thinking about how happy and uneasy this force of nature of a man made you feel, he would be the end of you, but you wouldn't change it for the world.

[headoverhiddles]

What Do You Think? - Lance/Two x Reader (Multiplicity) [Fluff]

Requested by @mostghcst :)  Would you consider doing something with Lance / #2 involving he and his girl trying for a baby?

---

“What do you think?”  

You look in the mirror, Lance’s balled up underwear shoved under your shirt to make a baby bump. He looks over from the bed, and cocks his head. 

“There’s better ways to carry my underwear to the wash.” 

“I’m talking about a baby, asshole,” you turn, and chuck the boxers at him. “And take your own gross ass underwear to the wash.” He’s at full attention now. 

"A baby? Like a child?"

"Like a baby. A baby becomes a child."

Lance swallows. "You wanna have a baby... with me?"

You frown. "Sure, unless you'd like me to ask your brother--"

"Hey hey hey. I'm the only one that's gonna be impregnating you." You smirk, and saunter over to the bed.

"Wanna try tonight?"

He licks his lips as you straddle him. He's getting lost in your seduction, until he remembers the question and it brings him out of his trance.

"No rubbers? No pullin' out?"

"Mm-mm."

"Well..." he bites his lip, smacking your ass lightly and dragging his fingers to rub between your legs, "Ain't that a treat? It'll feel nice to be able to come inside you, baby girl..."

You groan, falling down to start making out with your boyfriend. His hands squeeze and massage your ass as you drag against him, getting him fully hard.

"That's life for ya," he groans in your ear as you grind down, "Daddy's gonna be a daddy."

"Mmm, Lance, fuck..."

As Lance pulls your panties down, you smile at the thought of how horny he'd get in the future, with a kid always getting in the way of sexy times like this.

---

The next day, Lance is hanging out with Rico, Doug and Lenny, watching the game in Doug's garage. 

“Doug?” Lance begins, crushing out his cigarette. Doug coughs through the cloud, and Rico gets up to empty and polish the ashtray before Lenny tries to finger paint with it.

“Yeah," Doug responds absently.

Lance runs a hand through his hair as he thinks of how to word his question. “What... did you think, when your wife wanted your first kid?”

Doug looks over, as do the others. The game gets muted.

“Kid?” Rico asks softly. Doug blinks. 

“You? With a kid?” 

“I just asked a goddamn question, alright?” Lance scowls. “Nevermind, turn the game back up."

Rico puts a comforting hand on Lance's, and smiles like an overly caring therapist. "Two. Are you and (y/n) trying for a baby?"

"Shut up, you loser!"

"Because you work an awful lot. And you'd have to give this up," Rico picks up Lance's pack of smokes.

"Bring those back fuckhead, or I'll be out a brother!"

"It's not healthy around a growing child."

"That's why I spent a thousand bucks to quit," Doug murmurs.

"I'm not gonna do it around the... all of ya, get outta my life! Forget I asked!"

"Baby," Lenny pipes up, "Can I eat it?"

"No buddy, you can't," Lance sighs, rubbing his face, "Cause there's no baby. There's not even an idea of a fuckin baby."

"(y/n) told me different," Rico sing songs. Lance glares.

"She--? Alright, whatever. Okay. We're thinking about it."

"Well," Doug says, "I think you'll be just fine. After all, I was, and you're mostly me." He looks down at the chicken wing grease on Lance's shirt. "Mostly." Rico wets his fingers and tries to clean the stain, but Lance bats him away.

"Can I eat the baby now?" Lenny blurts.

"No Len, but you can see the baby," Lance smiles a little, passing him the wing bucket, "Once it... y'know... happens."

"And when's that going to be?" Rico asks. Lance narrows his eyes.

"You asking me when I'm gonna bang my girlfriend?"

"No, ha, no, I wasn't--"

"You like imagining that, three?" Lance tightens a fist.

"W-well, (y/n) is a very beautiful woman and-and don't forget now, we are in technical terms the same person, therefore have the same taste in--!"

"You'd better run," Doug whispers to Rico, who nods, launching himself up.

[datingadviceonreddit]

I'm 26 and I have Asperger's and I'm really weird looking. I'm not in bad shape but my face looks really weird and I'm pretty sure I have facial features indicative of a developmental disability. I'm basically really weird and I'm worried I come off as an awkward perma-virgin or a creepy loser like the guys who post on /r/braincels. I just watched a movie where the awkward shy dude finally sleeps with the cute girl he has a crush on and it made me feel shitty because I never got to experience that and probably never will. I'm not the nice shy guy from the movies, I'm just an autistic loser.I've never met a woman who is interested in or attracted to me and it makes me feel awful. When I was in college there were girls everywhere and it was frustrating to me because when I tried to talk to them they'd get uncomfortable and probably think I'm gross and creepy. The girls my friends would hang out with basically ignored me in favor of the better-looking normal guys (I don't blame them at all for not wanting to talk to a creepy autistic guy). I went on two dates ever in college and I never heard back from either of the girls and I felt stupid for thinking I have a chance. If I graduated college without even meeting a girl who seems vaguely interested in me isn't that an indication that I'm hopeless?I'd always get crushes on cute normal girls and I'd feel awful since there's nothing I could do about it. For example, I was in a student organization with a girl who I thought was really cool and pretty and I always wanted to get to know her better but I knew if she knew how I felt she'd just think I"m creepy and get uncomfortable around me. There was another girl in the same organization who was honestly one of the sexiest women I've ever met and I'd always end up thinking about how hot she is, which I realize is totally normal and healthy, but it made me feel gross because she clearly looked down on me and she'd be disgusted if she knew what kind of thoughts I have about her. I felt worse about the first girl I listed because there was no way I or most other guys would have a chance with the second girl but the first was just a normal girl and I felt like if I was just a normal guy I could talk to her and ask her out if we got along well but that's too much for me to ask. The combination of being attracted to girls and knowing they view me with contempt was awful for me and I still feel awful today when I meet women.I graduated a few years ago with a degree in psychology (lmao) and nowadays I'm still living at home and working a crappy retail sales job (which I enjoy even though the pay is shit) and I don't bother trying to meet women. I don't talk to my friends from college a lot and I'm really lonely in general. Every woman my age either has a boyfriend or is married. How do I deal with this? Is it too late? I really want to know how it feels to form a connection and be intimate with someone who I really like but I doubt that's possible at all.EDIT: when I say “normal” girls I mean girls who aren’t ugly (not necessarily super-attractive) and don’t have anything discernibly wrong with their personality. I feel like this is how most men feel about women but it would be wrong for someone fucked up like me to think I’d have a chance with a “normal” girl. via /r/dating_advice