#and are okay with just a chat

[furiousgoldfish]

Damn i was not expecting the "#tw extreme abuse", thank you very much for your words though

I might be able to help the person who asked about healthy relationships though, ive made a lot of good relationships despite my family:

Communication

•above all else, communicate. Tell them about yourself. Learn about them. Get to know eachother! Likes, dislikes. Boundaries especially! Check in on them. Just a quick hi once in a while can do wonders (lots of relationships fail due to lack of communication or miscommunication)

•listen to eachother

Arguements

•if something happens you can always walk away, make sure the other person understands that they can as well. Take time to collect yourselves and explain later why your upset

•be clear and ask for clarification where you need it

•fights can be scary but dont think that someone will leave you after one

•try to steer clear of insults/threats/blackmail if your angry, thats hard to repair after

Trust

•i know its hard to trust and you can take all the time you need to learn how, but making healthy relationships is a good way to learn trust.

•Dont lie to them or you will get caught up in trying to keep it under wraps (unless its to protect your safety, in that case maybe being around this person is not a good idea), not only will they not trust you but you wont give yourself the opportunity to trust them

Kindness

•be nice. Its simple. Good people, the people that will make for great friends/support/family will be kind back! Go out and meet people! Youll make friends! Just give yourself a chance!

•treat other how you deserve to be treated, with all the love and kindess you should have gotten! They will pay it back, they will love you!

Other notes

•express interest in their interests. You dont have to be a big fan, people will want to show you what they like when they like you. They're sharing something special to them. So ask about it! You dont have to engage much with it, but show them their interests have value. It will make them really happy, and they should be open to yours as well.

•do fun shit together! Something you both enjoy! If there isnt anything that overlaps you can do your own stuff in eachothers company. Just hanging out with them is enough.

•being able to love someone else, is to love yourself. You're filled with so much compassion and care for this person, and they will feel the same. They will be their to love you when life hits the fan.

•again take your time, it can be hard to get right. If it doesn't work out thats an experience you can carry into the next relationship, something to learn from.

Caution:

-make sure they actually make you happy and treat you well, not that theyre just the first person you could latch onto

-make sure you both have personal freedoms, your loyalty to eachother should not come at that cost

-keep yourself safe, safety comes first

Finding good people is a very important one as well, if anyone needs i could try explaining that too. Hope this helps.

Hey thank you for sending this manual!

Yeah your situation is extreme, I'm thinking about you and hoping that you get to experience freedom.

Your manual sounds really nice and is filled with common sense, and I've been following these types of guidelines for most of my life, but still had absolutely no luck. The thing is, this would work if you're surrounded with kind, understanding, non-abusive, friendly people who also just wanted to be friends with you and reciprocate and earn your trust and keep you in your life.

However a lot of people will see your friendly, kind, compassionate and communicative nature and decide to make use of it. It's been the hardest thing for me to realize when the other person is just pretending to be friendly back, in order to exploit me. It's really difficult to take distance from someone when they make you feel guilty for it and attack you for it, and it's hard to not feel guilty and betrayed when it happens. Manipulative people make great use of trust and communication you give them! Treating them with love and kindness will often get you in a situation where love and kindness will be expected, or demanded out of you, while you find yourself unable to ask even for some patience and space for yourself. And I'm worried that this is the situation for most abused people, we're often trying so hard to be kind, communicative, trusting, interested, loyal, patient, giving, caring, compassionate, and they zero in on that and eat it up, taking some time to make us let our guard down, before they start banking on us being in their service.

I have been trying to find good people all of my life, and fell unsuccessful, and I've tried hundreds of people, created a system of red flags that make me drop them, and had to drop pretty much everyone. And it's not as if this manual is generally bad, or I've just sucked so much at communicating and building boundaries, it's just, really difficult after abuse to feel okay around people, and to not be bothered by some of their manipulative nature - it hurts us more than it hurts others.

So even as I'm really bad with people, I can't recommend being very kind, trusting or communicative, of course it's nice if you can be that and not get hurt for it, but I absolutely cannot. It never happened once in my life, that someone returned the same kindness, love and care I gave them, and it often broke my heart. I would have to be very naive to still believe that I just haven't done it for the right person - hundreds of people reacted similarly, took what they could, then either turned on me, hurt me and pretended it was okay and I should stop being sensitive, or abandoned me altogether if I ever stood up to them.

This all is not your fault, and I can completely understand how you sent in these instructions with best of intentions, sincerely believing that this is the key to healthy relationships. It seemed like that to me too, when I was younger! I fully believed this would work, kind people would see me and return the kindness, it would be okay. The only thing I can recommend is the stuff you have under caution - if someone fails to reciprocate, or reciprocates at first and then stops reciprocating, get distance. If your freedom around this person is limited, get away, get distance. If they start treating you worse at any point, get distance. It's not worth ending up in another abusive, neglected or scary situation just for the hope of human connection. And it's also really difficult for an abused person tell when they're being neglected, treated badly or their kindness is not reciprocated, just because we've already been used to so much worse, so anyone not outright threatening to kill us seems like a nice enough person who deserves our whole heart. They often do not.

[thefangirl-16-blog]

WHO WILL WIN

[wanderingibon]

" I noticed that you've been smiling more, Lucanis. "

" ...Have I? ...Si, I suppose I have been. "

[spaceprincessleia]

Come on. You can't stay out here. (Andor 2x12)

[westywallowing]

my favorite scene redraw from S5E13: "Migration"

[randomfandomss]

The Late Pope: An avid planner and doodler

[ceruark]

please humor me as i share with you one of my recurring daydreams/ scenarios before bed: pop star! reader x pro player! kaiser

prior to your relationship, your reputation preceded you. though you're one of the biggest names on the world stage, you're by no means a "diva" in the traditional sense; you also grew up in a poor neighborhood with a family who didn't care about you until you made it big, and you elevated yourself through your own hard work and talent. despite your fame and wealth, your fans sing your praises about how genuine and down-to-earth you are, and other celebrities you've allowed into your inner circle talk about how kind and caring you are in interviews of their own.

so when michael kaiser of all people approaches you, your friends are understandably incredibly territorial and hostile toward him.

but you give him a chance anyways— he is quite the flatterer, and that face is virtually impossible to say no to.

you were only ever supposed to be yet another stepping stone to put kaiser further into the limelight, just another box to check on his path to being the greatest. except, you had insisted that you two keep your relationship private for as long as possible; you'd seen how your peers' relationships often imploded after going public, and your friends told you that asking him to keep things under wraps was a good way to test if he actually wanted the relationship, or if he was just interested in your name. he agreed, figuring that you'll ease up eventually.

it's not easy by any means; the mask comes off long before you two go public, and you quickly come to understand why so many of his own teammates tend to keep him at arm's length. his insecurity is a deep-rooted, festering thing, manifesting as cold derision and a push-pull attitude that leaves you reeling and always guessing as to how he'll react to your affection in the moment.

and yet, you stay.

you could have anyone in the world, but you stay with him. you've seen the broken, bitter man hiding behind the pretty face and still haven't walked away. your friends tell you that you could do better, that you deserve better, and they're right, he knows it— but you never agree with them, and you never leave, either.

it gets better with time, as he learns to trust you. allow you inside, in response to the way you've accepted him wholly into your heart, flaws and all. improving himself is a struggle, but he's trying, and that's enough for you.

you've been together for a bit over two and a half years when he finally brings it up again. it's a lazy night; your tour ended a week ago, and now you're in munich, cuddled up against him on the couch and scrolling through your phone while he picks apart his most recent match, which is playing on the TV.

"liebling," he says, hand pausing where it was combing through your hair. you look up, expression as painfully indulgent of his whims as always. "what do you think about going public?"

you put your phone down at that. you place a gentle hand on his knee, smiling slightly. "if that's what you want," you answer. "i've just been waiting for you."

in an interview a month later, you "accidentally" let it slip that you're in a relationship—and it's going on three years.

the internet blows up with speculations as to who your mysterious boyfriend could be. your friends drop hints and jokes here and there, but no one can quite guess who it is, even with the help. the closest anyone gets is guessing it's isagi yoichi, who you had seemed friendly with when attending a gala for a fashion outlet you both have contracts with. of course, they couldn't possibly know you were familiar with him because he's your boyfriend's teammate, but regardless, the tantrum that results from those speculations leaves you and the münchen lineup amused for days—at the unfortunate expense of one of the team's twin aces, who swiftly denies being involved with you like that.

the public finally gets their answer at the next big industry award show, conveniently being hosted in paris the same week bastard münchen has a game against pxg. at this point, your fanbase is certain you're with an athlete of some sort, courtesy of your friends' hints, but they still haven't been able to place who or what sport.

when you show up on the red carpet donning a simple gold chain necklace with a beautifully crafted blue rose charm hanging off of it, sitting between your collarbones, the internet blows up.

and when you post a mirror selfie to your instagram story later that night, smiling at your phone as the picture shows nothing more than an arm wrapped around your waist—one covered in extremely recognizable tattoos—the platform goes down for nearly twenty minutes. which somehow pales in comparison to your phone freezing and crashing from the sheer amount of notifications you're getting.

well, it's not like you'd be able to pay any attention to the public reaction, anyways—not when the cause of the commotion is already pulling you toward the bed by the waist, fully intending to indulge in what the world finally knows is his, as much as he is yours.

[northstarscowboyhat]

Doodles from a call with friends. Hey did you guys know I really like Clover from UTY-

[starkspi]

From "Unadulterated Loathing" in which Charlie chains these two idiots accidentally together by @otsmosis (who made this comment at the end of the last chapter and inspired me to do whatever this is above)

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[ministarfruit]

pleased to announce that I have finished omori and feel very normal about siblings right now

[darkmuffinstudios]

hiiiii! i know you probably get like a million of these asks, but is the if blue joined the bad sanses comic still being continued? you dont have to answer if it's too annoying, but i just love it so much and after the last cliffhanger i can't wait for the next part hapfhsuds

ok so

so the series is sort of in a weird limbo/hiatus/VERY VERY slow update schedule

I do tend to get this ask quite often, and have tried to clear up confusion with a FAQ or such, but I thinkkkkk I need to put this up again ^^'

Blue Joins The Bad Sanses was a series I made years ago that I've been slowly, very sluggishly been updating for years now! It's arguably one of my most popular series that I was working on ^^

And I had a lot of fun working on it- still somewhat do.

It's just not my main focus at the moment

I still am working on it- I still am making some small efforts on continuing it! But I also got other projects I want to focus on at the moment

On top of that, I have a few other IRL obligations and circumstances that have not only impacted this project, but also all of my series/art in general!

So- TLDR: yes. I'm still working on it- but it's sort of on hiatus/at the back of my mind.

If anyone wants to take a similar idea and do stuff with it (for those which can't wait for my slow updates haha /nm), please do! I'd love to see what you create

I'm working on my BJTBS story (that's had a vague outline of the entire plot for YEARS now- it's just a matter of drawing and writing dialogue) at my own pace ^^

Thank you to all of you who have been super patient with me! It warms my heart to see this series touch the hearts of many, and for people to still have an interest in it after all these years!

If you wanna see my current project/obsession, feel free to check out @shit-hell-no-radio ! (A collaborative AU between friends with our OCs) (prommy we don't bite hehe)

[icantbotherwithusernames]

i want him stoned in the town square

(why does tumblr make the quality so bad, i promise it’s better)

[shaadowmilkcookie]

One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.

But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)

[pikhachu]

girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time

[heynhay]

thinking abt kleah. and like, on one hand i like the idea of everyone else being the same gender-wise in vld except them. but on the other hand i always love the bits where keith's gaydar is too dookie to realize lance is bi or lance has to have a bi crisis so maybe i can make allura SO butch that kat is like damn....leah likes him..... and not women...... meanwhile leah is essentially walking around in a butch bait t shirt whether knowingly or not