#and as the group started to reconnect it came back to them like a truck. mizuki was even still clearly very effected by it. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dzpenumbra · 1 year

Text

7/29/23

I'm "getting this over with" (in my not-so-positive words) because I want to go and give myself a deep tissue massage on my legs, and hopefully my back if I can reach it, before an early night to bed. The massage oil I ordered got here and I haven't had a chance to try it out. Tonight is the night.

Why tonight? I woke up after 2 hours of sleep at 8AM. I had this intense feeling that something happened. I really couldn't put my finger on it at all. I had no idea why I had woken up. I was exhausted, I had showered, I was good to sleep, I fell asleep somewhat quickly. But... something was off. And it was enough for me to wake up and not be able to go back to sleep.

I kept feeling compelled to look at my phone. So... I did. And I saw green, which means either a missed call or a missed text. I had missed a text from an old friend from college. One who I was a groomsman for at his first wedding. Who I hadn't talked to in 4 years... and when I did then, it was reconnecting after many years... And the last time I talked to him was the summer when... I was transforming, and smoking a ton of weed, and tapering off of meds unsupervised. And... I'm just going to say it. I had a lot of people close to me gaslight me into thinking that I was crazy in that period of time. Mostly because I was smoking a ton and having a lot of panic attacks, and experimenting with spiritual practices a lot and very openly. My family and one of my former best friends made very overt accusations that they were fearing I was "losing my mind", or "going manic" or something. When really... I was just starting to live again, and reconnect with my self and my imagination again, after being in an incredibly unhealthy relationship and mindset for way too long. It was really a surreal and blissful time in my life.

But I scrolled up to see the last texts we exchanged. There was an exchange where I told him I was sorry I had to get off the phone because someone showed up at my house. I have no idea who, and I guarantee that was the last exchange we had. But before that... was a very lengthy text from me that I didn't read the entirety of. It was at a time when I was rebuilding my life using some practices from Russel Brand's Mentors book, and some adopted 12 Step stuff that I picked up by proxy in mental health support groups. Basically, I reached out to people that I valued and hadn't spoken to in a long time, I tore my filters off entirely and I just poured my heart out. Said everything I needed to say, as though I was lying on my death bed.

I should be proud of that. I am embarrassed. The fact that none of those messages were really followed up on by anyone? In my recollection at least, maybe they did and I was just too high to remember. But I just... I see the long text. I remember it came from that summer. I flash back to the horrible accusations that my family and my "friend" made about me. For some reason... I side with them?! And then I reflexively start feeling super ashamed, like... "oh god, why did I do that. I don't even want to know what delusional shit I said." Like I had drunk texted someone or something, I guess.

But yeah, the text was from my college friend. He was a real blue collar guy, we used to play guitar together and went fishing a lot. He taught me how to play slide guitar with a Bic lighter, I introduced him to metal. When he used to drive trucks cross-country, he used to call me in the middle of the night (for my time zone) and we'd keep each other company until the wee hours of the morning just talking about life. I designed a full thigh tattoo for his ex-wife, it's by far my most impressive tattoo design, and the first one I did for another person other than myself (I think). But we haven't spoken in ages. He came over and visited my house in 2018 and went fishing with me at the pond I lived on, and stayed the night. One of only two visitors to ever stay the night in my guest room at the house I rented for 5 years. And that was that.

He was texting me saying he wanted a logo for his company and wanted to know if I wanted a paid gig. This is two gig opportunities in one month. It's hard to process. I... blew a gasket.

I wrote a full page google doc and split it into messages to my therapist which have still gone unanswered. And likely for the best, honestly... just writing it and getting it out to another person was exactly what I needed. (I feel like I should apologize to him, since I was looking for advice and I already made a decision... but I'm curious to see what he has to say.) I was upset that my friend was just approaching me all business-like. I felt like he was just throwing a bone to me out of pity, or doing what the last guy did and trying to like... get a budget piece done by me because I don't have any work right now... I don't have any viewers/followers... and like... I'm "a friend"... so... discount, right? <wink wink>

He wanted a design that was scalable. A logo. Graphic design. I have a degree in fucking acrylic painting. I haven't touched vector-based work since 2009. I don't even remember how Illustrator even works, I think I used it a total of two classes. I haven't even used an Adobe product in... god knows how long. But on top of that, I started getting super upset that... when people see an artist of any kind, they just assume you do graphic design. Like... if you are a pen and ink artist who has done B+W bird illustrations your whole life, you are apparently supposed to know how to work Illustrator and Photoshop. As though they're even the same medium. It made me angry. I told my therapist, it felt like if I went up to him and said, "hey man, you're a therapist, you could do physical therapy for me, right?"

After about an hour of freaking out and fuming, and sending the messages... I took like half an hour and got some food and really thought about it. What are my concerns? "I don't want to screw up, or make a sub-par product because of my lack of experience with a foreign medium." "I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know how to use the program, I don't know file formats, it's all new to me." "I want him to get the best quality end result that he's looking for."

So... in a moment of absolute brilliance that may have changed the course of my life... well, at least in a minor way... I decided to pull up a tutorial on Illustrator. Adobe offers a 7-day free trial with it, and then it's $21/month just for Illustrator. And I thought... hmm... I might be able to use this for like... making scalable vector assets for my visualizer program... hmm... So I watched the tutorial on Illustrator and holy fucking shit is it easy to use. It's basic shit. It's just... a different way of drawing, and it's mostly going to be tracing, so it's really not going to be an issue. The only issue I have is file formats and I can figure that out whenever. And being able to afford the program but like... it's 20 bucks, man. I can afford that, and I can just cancel after if I don't need it anymore.

I decided... in a moment of genius... to do exactly what I did with that long text message. But in response to the job offer. I told him it really meant the world to me that he kept me in mind for this, and I'd absolutely love to be involved in any capacity I can. I also disclosed that I had not worked in vector-based formats since 2009. But I told him that Adobe makes their shit very user-friendly these days and I'd be down to learn a new medium as long as he's aware that... that's what's happening.

I know it's apparently really common to lie on resumes or lie to clients and say you have experience that you don't... and then google your way through projects. Or just hope they don't notice. I can't bring myself to lie to people, friends or strangers alike. And that has resulted in me losing a lot of opportunities. But the step I took today? I put that decision in his hands. So he can make an educated, informed decision about the logo for his welding business. I did not exclude myself from the running. I did not say "sorry, no, I'm not qualified for that. Thanks for thinking of me, though." I said fucking "yes, but this is the whole picture, is this picture okay with you?" And he confirmed. He was talking very business through text, which was kinda awkward for me, honestly. It... felt a bit like... home... <shudder> But I'm sure that's just... him trying to be professional because he's a business owner now, and holy shit and I goddamn proud of him for it. He is one of the two hardest workers I have known my entire life. The other one did it out of addiction, distraction, coping and fear. I'm still not fully sure what his story is. But I do know that he has been a garbage man, a cross-country trucker, a mechanic, tons of Dirty Jobs. And I've always known him to be a people-person, so I feel he has well earned his title to be running the show.

I was a bit... concerned that it would all be cold business with him. The he had changed. And maybe he has, jury is still out. But he sent me an email with his ideas... and in it he said some heartwarming stuff. In a very... closeted manly kind of way. Very brief, direct and to the point. "Thank you, I'm stoked to have your input on this." You know why this warmed my heart? Because super professional business people don't fucking say "stoked". XD And if we're going to brainstorm creative ideas, I'm going to be barefoot and have incense going and I'm going to be swearing up a storm, so... welcome to my office, motherfucker! XD

Being an artist is so weird. I feel like putting on a cold business persona literally damages my business. Because my work is like... a reflection of me. And I'm sitting here wearing hemp jewelry and beads and shit and talking like I'm wearing a suit? Doing good business is not wearing the proper uniform or speaking the proper language. Well, I mean... in some fields, sure... But sure as fuck not in art, in my opinion. And I'd say you could say the same for welding or mechanics, shit like that. I think it's WAY more important to be ethical. To be a Good Dude. To be kind and considerate and compassionate, and find ways for everyone to win, as much as possible. To make a good product, or provide a good service, and be thoughtful and kind. That's it. You can swear when you do that. You can talk like I talk. You can wear sleeveless shirts and be barefoot and smell like exotic essential oils. If someone judges you for that, they are not a good client.

So, that went well. We're going to link up tomorrow and... the ball is in... my court? And I allowed it to be there. ... Wow, right? And he left the option to either do a phone call or... meet... in-person? Right? This whole time I thought he was living several hours south of me... turns out he's 20 minutes away from me right now. XD Last I checked he wasn't even in the state!

So... that's going to be tomorrow. I stayed up and worked on my grip tape, got half of the 7th ring done. These big detailed pedals take a while, so it might be another 3 days? Plus this graphic design stuff on top. I am just dying to finish it though, I want to skate so fucking bad and I'm a bit scared to skate it before I finish the detail entirely.

I then did more dishes and... cleaned the kitchen counters... and... then went on to clean my entire fucking house. Vacuumed, mopped the floors, cleaned the counters, dusted, everything. Everything short of laundry and fully cleaning my work station. I even cleaned my yoga mat, which has so much heavy wear to it now that I might need a new one soon. Which is like... a "holy shit" moment.

I tried to nap, and... kinda failed? I don't remember sleeping at all, but I was there for an hour and a half. So... I must've dozed off for a bit. I got up and started working on prototypes already. I did two full notebook pages of 6 sketches and notes. Then I did yoga, ate leftovers from last night and... here I am.

Now I'm going to give my poor aching muscles a deep massage the best I can, listen to Adam Savage tell some stories from the glory days, and then take a nice shower because I am a stinky sweaty man. And then try to get to bed at a human hour, like... before 3AM. Thus... why I'm doing this now, around midnight. So... fingers crossed for a good night's sleep and... we'll see what tomorrow has in store!

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

0 notes

jamielea81 · 5 years

Text

When We Were Young

Chapter 1

Description: Leaving the only home your daughter had ever known wasn’t part of the grand plan. But then again, sometimes taking chances can change your whole life. And you should know that, you’ve been doing that since the start.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: Slight angst, maybe a curse word or two.

Word Count: 2,271

A/N: Super nervous about this one. As always, this is strictly for fun as I know nothing about the personal life of Chris Evans. This series takes place in 2018.

*Italics are internal thoughts*

This is it. This…is…it. Okay, deep breath. Plaster on that smile.

“We’re almost there,” you sing-songed.

“Mom…” your daughter Ellie groaned.

Turning your head to the side, your co-pilot was currently nose deep in a book.

Better than her phone.

She’s a great kid and you really couldn’t complain. At fifteen you were pulling away from your parents as were most of your friends. It had been the two of you for so long that you were closer than ever. She didn’t keep secrets from you and you didn’t keep any from her. That had been your deal for years.

“I’m hoping we beat the moving truck there. Would hate to pay them to sit around,” you said eyeing the clock on the dash.

“It’s a moving truck and you don’t exactly have a light foot,” she replied, tucking in a bookmark and setting her book on her lap.

“What are you implying Ellington?” Smirk ever-present in your voice.

“It’s just that you tend to speed mother dear. When we were on the open roads in North Carolina that was one thing, but I don’t think you’ll get away with that in Boston.”

“Just wait until you start driving. You’re going to be worse than me!” you laughed. “But your probably right.”

“Don’t forget to sign me up for classes. You promised after the move you’d enroll me.”

“I know and I will. Let’s just get the school tour and the first few days of classes settled first. One step at a time,” you replied, giving her a soft smile.

Where did the time go?

“And are you ready?” she questioned.

“Ready for what?” you asked, small frown appearing on your lips.

“You’re new job. The new house. It’s an entirely different part of the country. It’s a lot,” Ellie sighed out. “Even I know that and I’m the one that wanted this change.” She placed her hand over your right hand that held the steering wheel.

“I’m ready.” You nodded your head because you really were. “This is for you, baby. But a little part of this is for me too. Change is good,” you said shrugging your shoulders. “That’s what they say right?” You gave her a questioning look which she chuckled at.

“Absolutely, mom,” Ellie agreed.

Despite your concern, the two of you made it to the townhome before the movers. The car was unloaded and food ordered before they even pulled up.

All of your furniture had survived the move, but now that you had it in the house, the beach vibe really wasn’t matching with the old brick row home. If your savings weren’t mostly depleted, you’d consider purchasing a new living room and dining room set. Only one box of miscellaneous knickknacks was damaged beyond repair from the move up the coast. According to your daughter, it was just an excuse to go shopping.

Ellie was tucked away in her new room organizing her clothes, promising she’d actually go to sleep in the next thirty minutes. It was a big day for her and you as she would tour her new school. The school specializing in engineering was the reason you were here. While Ellie didn’t inherit the social awkwardness you experienced in junior high and most of high school, she was also incredible smart. How your beautiful daughter turned out so well rounded only being raised by you was a bit of a mystery, but you thanked your lucky stars every night.

When Ellie came to you ten months ago with a glittery pink folder filled with the school’s brochure, a list of courses she planned to take, a breakdown of tuition cost, nearby neighborhoods, and a recommendation for one of her teachers, you knew she was serious. She had been talking about Harvard since she was nine years old when her school had a special speaker that had mentioned graduating from the esteemed university. She reminded you that when she did start her college career there, because she knew she’d get in, it would be a lot easier on you if you lived locally. Sometimes she was too smart for her own good.

Reaching out to a of couple old NYU classmate who lived in Boston was the easy part. Getting your small two-bedroom bungalow solid was the tough part. The house sat on the market for two months without so much as a nibble. The two of you got to work painting every room, replacing light fixtures, baseboards, and outlets. It paid off in the end as your house was in escrow a month later.

While you liked having a detached home, it wasn’t in the budget in Boston or in any of the surrounding suburbs. Your old classmate Hillary, who was happy to reconnect really steered you toward a row home. After searching Google for months, you found a rental in the town of Belmont that was conveniently located near Ellie’s high school. And just like that, you were saying goodbye to the only town she had ever known.

Wine. You needed wine if you were going to stop worrying and get some sleep yourself. If only you could find a wine glass. Digging through the one of three boxes labeled “dishes”, you gave up your search when you came up empty after the first box.

“A coffee cup will do.”

Filling the mug three quarters of the way full, you headed back to the couch, resting your feet up on the cushions and thought about how your lives were going to change. Ellie was excited for a new city and school, but you were sure she also held onto some anxiety on the inside as she tended to do.

When you were three months pregnant, you moved to Wilmington North Carolina with your college classmate Peter who was nice enough to offer you a place to stay. You certainly couldn’t go home to Kentucky. Not when you were pregnant and single. Not that you wanted to anyway. Wilmington is where you built your life for the last sixteen years and you missed it already.

You grew up in a very structured home. Middle child to wealthy parents who weren’t shy about how much they had. They had goals for you and for the most part, you obeyed. Piano lessons, cello lessons, dance, although, that one ended shortly after you started. Private schools, tutors, math camp, really anything that would help you succeed. You did well in school because you worked hard. Not that you had a choice really. College and then back home to work for your father’s company. No doubt they had a short list of potential husbands handpicked for you by your sixteenth birthday. You’d be engaged by twenty four, married, by twenty five, first child by twenty seven. It wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to plan out the rest of your life, not have it planned out for you. Having a child on your own terms was very much a part of your plans.

Leaving work early after only two weeks at Hayward Financial was not on your calendar for the day. Two appointments with new clients had to be canceled with new ones set up for the following week. Receiving a call from Middlebury Engineering Academy that your daughter missed third and fourth period was most certainly not a call you expected to get. She loved school. Always had perfect attendance except for that one year where she got very sick with the flu and had to miss three days. Missing class was more painful to Ellie than the illness itself. Maybe you missed something. Maybe she wasn’t as happy as she seemed. She already had a small group of friends but maybe they weren’t good kids. You slammed your hands on the steering wheel.

“Where are you Ellington Rae?”

You had already called her cellphone three times and texted her twice as much but she wasn’t responding. Home was your first stop but she wasn’t there. The coffee shop was next. It was a favorite for the two of you, stopping there at least four days a week. Unfortunately, they hadn’t seen her. The pizza place, sandwich shop, frozen yogurt kiosk, library, that clothing boutique she had been begging you to take her to since her friend Carmen had mentioned it, all turned up empty. On the verge of tears, you pulled back into your driveway for the second time that day and called your best friend who not only felt a thousand miles away but actually was a thousand miles away in Wilmington. This was the hard part about moving somewhere new. You hadn’t met the neighbors, hadn’t introduced yourself to the parents of Ellie’s friends, barely knew her teachers. You had never felt more alone than you did at that moment.

“Gwen…” you said, voice barely holding on.

“What’s wrong? Shit. Give me a second, I’m going to step outside,” she said.

You got out of the car, walking up the stairs with the phone attached to your ear and your bag in your other hand. You pushed your shoulder up to hold the phone in place while you dug for the keys.

“Okay, tell me what’s going on.

“It was a mistake coming here,” you sobbed, dropping the keys on the kitchen island. “I miss Wilmington.”

“Oh babe. You love it there. You already told me you do,” she sighed.

“Not anymore. We’re coming home. I just need, um I just need to get out of my lease. We can stay with you right?”

“Always. But that’s not going to happen. Now tell me what’s bringing this panic on.”

“I can do this. Just act like you know what you’re doing,” Ellie said to herself, taking a big breath, straightening her shoulders, and walking out the door.

Leaving campus after second period was a lot easier than she thought it would be. Between the hustle and bustle of the hallway, watching the exits apparently wasn’t a thing teachers did. She walked three blocks from campus and ordered an Uber. The app was already on her phone from when her mom’s car got a flat and they decided to get lunch rather than sit around the repair shop. Her mom would be mad at her, but this was worth it and she would apologize for it later.

Her driver dropped her off in front of the booming convention center. She’d always wanted to go to one of these things, just never figured she’d be ditching school to do it. The building was massive with an impressive architectural roof. The engineer in her was beaming, but she wasn’t here for that. No, she was on a schedule. This was her one chance and she wasn’t going to blow it standing outside. Walking past the dozen or so smokers, she made her way inside the convention center, making a stop at the registration table to grab her credentials. While most attendees lined up early to be let in as soon as the doors were open, Ellie was not the average attendee.

Checking her phone for the time, she saw the dozen or so missed calls and texts. She was going to be in so much trouble when she got home and she honestly hated herself for making her mom worry. Ellie had an hour before she could line up for the one photograph she purchased months ago. Deciding to kill time in the vendor room seemed like the best option. Maybe she could buy something for you to make up for giving you wrinkles at an early age.

After browsing for some time, Ellie settled on two matching beaded bracelets in your favorite color for each of you. Maybe when you finally forgave her, you’d wear them and go to brunch like the two of you enjoyed doing back in Wilmington.

Combing her fingers through her hair for the fourth time, Ellie leaned to the side to check the length of the line once more. There were maybe twenty to twenty five people ahead of her, so she knew it would go fast. But if she had to hear how hot Chris Evans was one more time, she was going to scream. Ellie had rehearsed what she was going to say a million times in her head, but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able verbalize the words. An opportunity like this wouldn’t happen again, at least not one this easily.

She was led into a room with two other girls not much older than herself. They were here together and couldn’t stop giggling. Chris said hello and both said hello in unison causing Ellie to sigh.

“How do you want to pose for the photo?” Chris asked.

“Could we both hug you?” one of the girls asked.

“Yeah, that would be okay,” Chris replied, giving them each a smile which only caused them to giggle more and Ellie to roll her eyes.

After the girls said goodbye, two more people were ushered in the room behind Ellie. The assistant urged her forward to a smiling Chris.

“Hi sweetheart. How would you like to pose for our photo?” Ellie gulped in reply. “Don’t be nervous. How about I just give you a side hug?”

Ellie nodded her head as Chris wrapped his arm around her waist. She turned her head to face him, seeing that he wasn’t looking at her, but at the camera.

“You’re my dad,” she exclaimed.

Chris whipped his head to the side to face her. “What?” he whispered.

“You’re my father.”

Chapter 2

Tag List: @tanelle83 @pinknerdpanda @allaboutthebooz @estillion14 @panicfob @patzammit @heartislubbingdubbing @collinsstanharbour @twittytelly @linki-locks11 @ab-baybay @rda1989 @impalaimages @jesseswartzwelder @rainbowkisses31 @xostephanie @smoothdogsgirl @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @xxloki81xx @thenormreedus @firstangeldragonranch @soitmightgetweird @maeleeme @denisemarieangelina @rvgrsbrns @icanfeelastormbrewing @velvetwonderbucky @kitkat1690 @smilexcaptainx @suppu97 @dangerouslovefanfic @dwights-new-plague @kelbabyblue @sweetlittlegingy @chrisevansforever @evansxxx @twittytelly @southerngracela @bitterstar88 @squirrelnotsam @kitkatd7 @lakamaa12 @dontbetooobvious @straightforwardly @mariswritingforfun @imaginesofdreams @anat2507 @captnstarryeyed @chrisevansfanfic @capstopavenger

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x single mother reader #chris evans x you #chris evans reader insert #chris evans fan fic #chris evans fanfic #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction

541 notes · View notes

amltdaily · 3 years

Link

For a second consecutive year, the season finale of A Million Little Things ended with the question, Who hit Eddie? The incident, which left Eddie fighting for his life, was the big Season 2 finale cliffhanger. Tonight, Eddie received a call from a woman claiming to be the driver who hit him. And that was not the biggest Season 3 finale cliffhanger.

Once again, AMLT left someone’s life hanging in the balance; this time, it was music teacher/sexual abuser Peter Benoit. He was attacked at his doorstep by Gary, who put a bag over his head and dragged him inside. In an interview with Deadline, series creator/executive producer D.J. Nash discussed both shockers as well as the slew of other developments in tonight’s packed finale. Before we get to that, here is a brief rundown on some of the Season 3 finale highlights.

Gary’s assault on Peter was a culmination of the Sophie storyline, in which she decided to go to the police and file a report so Peter could not harm other girls. Holding the diary of another student of Peter’s, Layla, who had killed herself, Sophie was interviewed by the police, but the detective did not think there was enough evidence to charge Peter, and indicated that a text exchange between Sophie and Peter after the alleged assault might have undermined her case. Gary, who felt responsible as Sophie’s guardian at the time, did not take this well and kicked a trash can in the hallway of the police station.

Already reeling emotionally, Gary was further jolted when Darcy shut down his suggestion that they may start a family by telling him she did not want more kids after he’d agreed to follow her to Lenox where she was moving so her son can be close to his father. Gary then got into a heated conversation with Delilah, who blamed him for not protecting Sophie. That was after Delilah’s older children found out that she was planning to move the entire family to France, something the teens strongly opposed.

The next time we see Gary he was at his father’s, creating an alibi, leaving his phone and saying goodbye before he headed to Peter’s house. Thus, he did not get Darcy’s voicemail, in which she told him she had changed her mind about kids, praising Gary, who has been the MVP of the group of friends this season, helping everyone, from raising Delilah’s older children while she was in France to taking in Eddie and chaperoning his visits with Theo.

As Gary went all vigilante on Peter, Sophie went after her abuser by telling her story — and revealing his name — on Maggie’s podcast.

In other developments, Eddie and Katherine, who spent most of the episode arguing over custody, came to a workable solution at the end, just before Eddie got the surprise call from the woman confessing to being behind the wheel of the red SUV.

Regina closed the restaurant but not before feeding a young father who had lost his wife to Covid. Rome and their foster son Tyrell continued work on their documentary about systemic racism. It led to Tyrell reconnecting with his mother’s former partner who now has the job Tyrell’s mother was vying for before she got deported. Convinced that the ex-partner had turned her in, Tyrell confronted the guy, with Rome intervening to deescalate the situation. It turned out that Tyrell’s mom took her partner’s car to drive to a FedEx office to mail her son’s summer program application when she was pulled over by cops.

Here is the interview with Nash, in which he also discusses the main theme and mystery next season and what is next for all characters (Rome’s documentary will be a smashing success), reveals that he had considered having a major character die of Covid, teases the return of AMLT favorites and his plans for ending the series.

DEADLINE: Let’s start with the second biggest question at the end of this finale. It’s a case of déjà vu because at the end of last year’s finale, we have exactly the same question, who hit Eddie? What can you say about bringing back the mystery?

NASH: We were talking about bringing it back a few episodes before. The reason we didn’t is because it obviously would make a great cliffhanger, but we wanted to, this season, examine Alex’s dad, the reverend, and all those stories. But just when we got you to forget about who did this, the question resurfaces again, and I think that’s true to Eddie’s journey. Just when he is accepting this is my life, and this is what I’m going to do, and I actually am going to find strength in who I am now, it’s upended by that call coming in, and what we will watch next season is everything about Eddie tested by this call, his sobriety, his ability to be the person he wants to be right now.

You sometimes have a settled moment and you’re able to move on, and then something else happens that challenges it, and I think we see that in the finale with Sophie. She is more at peace with what has happened to her than at any point since it happened. She is going to Maggie. She is going from victim to survivor and retelling her story, but as that’s happening, obviously, Gary’s doing something over at Peter’s that’s going to challenge and threaten all that.

DEADLINE: We’ll go through all of those one by one but let’s finish with Eddie’s call. What can you say about the identity of the woman? Have we seen, heard her? I assume we haven’t because some fans would recognized the voice.

NASH: That’s right, yes, and we definitely treated that voice in post. So, yes, it does not appear to be someone we’ve seen. I don’t think that it’s Alex’s sister. It does not appear to be Eddie’s sister, Lindsay, and some of the fan-favorites of who could’ve hit Eddie seem to be off the table. It’s another person, and it sounds also like she has remorse. So, either it was an accident, or it’s something that she did that she regrets doing. It definitely feels as though she feels horrible that this has happened.

DEADLINE: So, you cannot say whether this was an accident or intentional? Why is she contacting Eddie now?

NASH: Yeah, I think I want the fans to experience it the way that the episode leaves it, which, it definitely, definitely feels like this is a person who has great regret for what happened and is probably reaching out, out of guilt. I think guilt is a huge theme that we’ve started to uncover this season. Obviously, it’s leading a couple people to make some not-so-great decisions in our finale, and it’s something that we’ll see our friend group struggle with. There’s healthy guilt and unhealthy guilt, and I think it’s important to draw the distinction between them.

DEADLINE: A tangential question. Why didn’t the police investigate and get to the bottom of that hit? They have access to street cameras. It seems like this this should’ve been resolved by now.

NASH: They did. If you remember, there was an episode where the detective calls and says that they saw a camera that was on a gas station nearby, and it wasn’t a pickup truck, it was an SUV. So, there is an investigation. I think a lot of these investigations… I know, in our own life, there was an accident that happened in our family this year, and I called to say, hey, can we see the street camera to see if we can identify exactly what happened, and we weren’t able to get that.

DEADLINE: I remember that, that’s how we ruled out Reverend Stewart as a suspect. So, can we rule out a connection to Alex backstory now? Can we assume that this is part of a brand-new mystery that is not related to Alex’s death anymore?

NASH: I don’t know that we can rule out, but I’m happy to rule that out for you, right now, yes. This has nothing to do with Alex and the boathouse, and that story and that chapter is behind us.

DEADLINE: One last question about Eddie. I know we discussed this before and said that because of the strength of David Giuntoli’s performance, you wanted to explore more of Eddie in the wheelchair, but is there a possibility that he might begin to recover and start walking next season?

NASH: Yeah. I really am so impressed at the way in which David Giuntoli is approaching this storyline, and his work this season as someone who is in a wheelchair, he’s playing him with just authenticity and true grit from the moment we wanted to tell this story. There’s two writers in the room who have parents who are physically challenged, and as you know, I’m one of them, seeing my dad go to law school blind; he went to law school when I was a kid, and he was 45. I think he wasn’t a dad that you might think someone would be, but he was probably always better, and I think we were really excited to see that strength and to see Theo experience his dad’s true grit.

DEADLINE: You didn’t answer the question. Is there any chance for him to walk next season?

NASH: I think there is as much a chance of him getting out of the chair as there really is for someone who’s in a chair to get out of the chair, which is, it’s really highly unlikely, and in telling that story, I think while that might be an interesting story turn for TV but I want to be really respectful of the community that we’re representing, and I think the likelihood that someone walks again and puts the chapter of a wheelchair behind them after the accident Eddie’s been through is really unlikely, and our show is all about authenticity. So, I can’t say with 100 percent certainly we would never have him have movement and feelings and maybe walk a few steps, but for right now, for this next season, he’s in that wheelchair.

DEADLINE: Okay. Now, to the bigger cliffhanger involving Gary. What exactly is planning to do with Peter and why is he doing it? Clearly, Gary is not going for a quick death.

NASH: Well, I think the why goes back almost to Gary’s childhood. His mom left, he felt this loss of family, and he has, so many times in his life, tried to re-create that. I think it’s one of the reasons went to 41 hockey games a year with a guy he met in an elevator, because he’s just that desperate to have a family, which is probably why he proposed to Maggie earlier than he would have. It’s why he is moving so quickly with Darcy, prepared to move to Lenox and wants to have a family with her. You look at Gary, and he’s like the greatest friend you could ever have, and I think the reason he is so giving is because he’s treating his friends like family because he doesn’t have that family that he once had. When he was taking care of Sophie, he feels like if he hadn’t circled back to talk to Peter, if he hadn’t convinced Peter to give Sophie another chance, she would’ve been out of his world, and because Gary circled back, he gave Peter a lot of the tools to groom her, and I think he carries tremendous guilt of it.

It’s one of the examples of unhealthy guilt that we’re going to follow into next season, and that, combined with Delilah saying she’s moving to France, Darcy, at least leaving him earlier in the episode as though she doesn’t want to have kids with him, he had nothing to lose. I think the anger he’s feeling, the guilt that is overtaking him, and then the nothing to lose attitude is the perfect storm for whatever it is he’s doing over at Peter’s.

In answer to your question of what is he doing at Peter’s, whatever he’s doing is premeditated. He went over to his dad’s and came up with an alibi, and he puts a bag over Peter’s head. It is Gary. It is Peter. That is a bag. He pulls him inside and closes the door. So, that is a mystery, and certainly the question that we’re following next season is what happened over there.

DEADLINE: Will the question be answered in the Season 4 premiere? Will you pick up where you left off in the finale, or will that be something that will be revealed slowly?

NASH: What we’re watching in the first half of next season is how did Gary go from kicking a trash can at a police station to putting a bag over someone’s head. We’ll uncover all of that, and it happens quickly. It’s not at a frustratingly slow pace. We will get to it, and we will learn exactly, is Peter alive or dead? We’ll learn that right in 4-01 and what the fallout is of all of that. It happens right away.

DEADLINE: Moving onto Sophie. For her, doing the podcast feels liberating, but would there be any consequences for her naming her abuser? Peter, he obviously has bigger problems right now with Gary, but will there be anything more to this plotline for Sophie or has she gotten closure by sharing her story?

NASH: It’s a great question. I’m trying to be sensitive with every topic we do, but especially with this one, because it’s loosely based on something that happened to one of the writers in our room, it’s loosely based on something that’s happened to our community and to our world. I think since the #MeToo movement has been here, we’re seeing that there’s different stages that a survivor goes through, but moving from victim to survivor, one, is just acknowledging to someone that something happened.

The other would be acknowledging publicly that something happened, and then this huge step of saying and this is the person who did it. We’ve seen with some high-profile people the ramifications of saying that. It appears that Maggie was not aware that Sophie was going to single out Peter by name in the podcast, and she does, and what does that mean? What is the positive, and what are the potential negative consequences for Sophie of saying that? And all of that sort of power, strength, liberation that Sophie is having in reclaiming her story and reclaiming the power of her life, moving from victim to survivor, that is all potentially undermined by what Gary does over at Peter’s.

DEADLINE: What about Regina, Rome and Tyrell? By the way, another tangent. I have high school kids who are applying to a lot of summer programs, and all applications are done online, not via FedEx. Aside from that, will Tyrell be able to reunite with his birth mother or could he get adopted by Regina and Rome?

NASH: That’s really funny, Nellie, because when I was watching Star Wars with my wife, and she was like, you know, guns don’t make noise in outer space, and I was like, other than that, this is a perfect story, but that’s hilarious. So, I’m sorry, I was all fixated on that. I didn’t hear your question.

DEADLINE: It’s about whether the boy will be able to reunite with his mother. And you mentioned guilt, that clearly will affect Tyrell and the dynamic in his new family.

Nash: Yeah, 100 percent guilt is a big part of our series. He is feeling the guilt, and he now has confirmation that he caused his mother’s deportation. We worked very closely with Define American and with FedEx in bringing this story. I don’t think Regina and Roma will adopt Tyrell because he does have a mother, and she is alive and well. They wouldn’t want to offend her. He has a mom whom he can’t be near because of something he did, and how he processes that guilt, how they help the son that they’re fostering work through that. We saw him immediately want to run out and confront Kyle, and Rome trying to contain that, only to then have to chase after him. So, we’re dealing with someone who might let their feelings and emotions get the best of them, and so, how does Rome be there for his foster son and prevent him from making a mistake the way Rome’s other friend, Gary, did.

DEADLINE: Tyrell reuniting with mom this coming season, possible?

NASH: It’s certainly possible. I want the fans to see how the story plays out, but we did cast that mom, and she’s a fantastic actress, and we’re certainly hoping to see her again.

DEADLINE: Regina, she had a difficult, emotional arc this season, and now she lost the restaurant. Will she be able to revive her dream or owning a restaurant or is that part of her career over?

NASH: We really wanted to make sure, this season, that we tell the story of losing at least one person to Covid because, obviously, so many people were lost. There was a time in this writer’s room where we talked about potentially losing a recurring character or maybe even a series regular to Covid, and I think we felt like, honestly, we love these characters, we don’t want to lose them. That was really a big factor, and also, I think that we wanted to be authentic to the loss that people faced but at the same time not bring too much sadness and pain to that. The story was really deliberate. We wanted, as Regina is losing her dream and her restaurant, to put it in perspective, and earlier in the episode, Rome says ‘How are you doing?’, and she says ‘Compared to what?’

What we gave her for a story throughout the episode was a comparison, to have her realize that she’s doing better than she thought she was doing. Yeah, she lost her restaurant. Yeah, she lost her dream, and I think it’s really easy for us all, right now — I could say I haven’t been able to get to the stage this year, I haven’t been able to go out with friends, but compared to other people, we’re really fortunate. So, we wanted to have Regina have that moment where things are put into perspective At the same time, we also wanted to look at where we were at the end of last season compared to where we are this season. At the end of last season, Eve changes her mind, and Regina is denied the family she wants, whereas at the end of this season, despite losing her restaurant, she’s able to get through that because she is surrounded by her family, and Tyrell comes in and delivers this beautiful speech, and I think that is really the message of our series,. When you surround yourself with the right people, you can get through anything.

DEADLINE: Onto Delilah. Will there be an AMLT spinoff, Delilah in Paris, like Emily in Paris, or is her move doomed, or is she going but only with Charlie?

NASH: That’s what we’re watching. It really appears as though what this woman needs is a fresh start. It really feels like she was suffocating and didn’t even realize how much her level of pain was until she got to France and had a chance to step back and appreciate that. I think in Episode 3, as she’s leaving, buys a suitcase and was talking about how she hasn’t taken a trip without Jon. I think we were setting the table for her discovery in France, and we really wanted to tell that story.

Delilah has done many things in the series that make the fans question her, how good a mom she is, how good a person she is, and we wanted to make sure that we were telling her side of the story. So, that fight that she has with Gary really is that opportunity for us to hear that she went to France, it was supposed to be just for three weeks, and she was going to give her dad, who had memory loss, the last trip of his life, and then he fell, and yes, she was not there for some huge moments for her children, but that’s not out of choice. It’s because the pandemic happened, and so, we just wanted to humanize and continue that theme that I love, which is just when you think you know someone, you don’t.

DEADLINE: You didn’t say anything about her move to France? Is that happening, for her with/without her older children?

NASH: We really want the fans to see how that happens, but what I love about our series is just when people think, oh, it must be a card flip, maybe it’s not.

DEADLINE: Eddie and Katherine, they looked like they were starting to find a way to co-parent. How will their relationship evolve next season with that jolt Eddie got with the call? You hinted that he may relapse as a result.

NASH: I’m happy to say, because I think the finale, the story really depicts this beautifully, that they are not able to be there for each other the way the other person needs them to be, but they are determined to be there for Theo, and they are determined to not let the fact that they are divorced keep them from being the parents they want to be. So, we’re going to watch them have to navigate these very new waters for them, mostly separately, sometimes together, just trying to be everything to Theo that he deserves.

DEADLINE: Looking ahead to Season 4, you mention guilt as a theme, you mentioned the new mystery of the female caller. What else do you have in store? Do you have any other major themes and mysteries that you’re planning?

NASH: Well, certainly, we have what happened behind that door. We’re also following whether or not this family moves to France and if some of them do and some of them don’t and what’s the fallout of how that affects this family. We have the mystery of how did what happened to Peter affect what happens with Gary and Darcy, moving forward. We left the season with Maggie also aware that Gary wasn’t where he was supposed to be, and so, we’ll see how her awareness might affect the story.

We’re also seeing Maggie, who’s found her voice in this podcast, gain some notoriety, and that story is a story we’re tracking next season that has some very funny and fun actors, who are fans of our show, joining our series that we’re excited about, and then, finally, for Rome, his documentary is picking up, and we’ll see him have incredible success. We’re telling that story, and for Regina, her figuring out what the next chapter of her life is going to be and her relying on her friends, who have had to face similar questions, for support and love as she finds that next chapter. That will involve a return of some people who have been in our series before that we have been excited to come back.

DEADLINE: Covid limited your guest actor choices this season. Can you tease any favorites that are coming back? Jason Ritter? You also mentioned new guest stars. Would they be playing themselves as guests on Maggie’s podcasts or will they play characters?

NASH: Well, certainly, Covid has restricted us, and that’s we’re excited about some of the mystery of what happened and where we left things at the end of this season. That’ll get us through, hopefully, the quarantine part of Vancouver, which hopefully will lift before Thanksgiving, at which point, we will be bringing even more guest stars in. We have found, in the last couple seasons, that there are some more high-profile actors who are fans of our show, and I’ve had a conversation with a few of them about coming in and doing parts, and it’s incredible. In fact, there are people who I’m a fan of, and I’m like, you watch our show? That’s awesome.

So, we will see a couple of those people. I can’t say yet who they are, because those deals aren’t closed. In terms of the other part of who, who’s been in our show, who’s coming back, yes, there’s quite a few people who we want to have back. Again, it’s just a question of when we get to that point of the season, are they on other series that allow them to come hang out with us, but we put a pin in some pretty big stories going into season three because of Covid, and those are stories that could wait to be told, and hopefully, now, we can unpin them and bring them back, because we’re doing 20 episodes this year. It’s the biggest season we’ve ever had, and we want each episode to be special.

DEADLINE: Delilah had a love interest at the end of Season 2, played by Parker Young. He disappeared.

NASH: She did, Miles. Parker is on a series (United States of Al), so, that might be difficult to bring back. And maybe…she’s in France. Maybe she meets a guy or a woman in France.

DEADLINE: What about Ron Livingston? We heard him in the finale but will we be able to see him next season?

NASH: I would love to see him in this season. He and I talked about him possibly being in that finale, and for the amount of screen time I would’ve had him and for the amount that I would’ve had to have him quarantine. He’s got kids, and it didn’t feel like I could justify asking him to do that. He was awesome and willing, and I said to him, let’s wait for a future episode. So, I’d love to see him back. With where I want to go with our series, I know, for sure, he’s in it again.

DEADLINE: You have a very serialized show, and you’re going into now Season 4. Are you already mapping out a final arc? Do you know when/how the show is ending?

NASH: I knew what the last season of the show was when I pitched the pilot. So, that’s already mapped out. Every year, when we get together with the new writers, it’s the second or third day, the first thing I do is tell them is how the series ends. So, they’re all aware of that. They know what we’re building towards. What season that will happen in is a conversation that as soon as we get up and running, this season, I want to have with our partners at the studio and the network, just to find what we think is the best length of time to tell this story.

DEADLINE: So, you have the ending ready but you won’t know until the summer whether you should proceed with the idea or shelve it for next season?

NASH: I basically have about the six-episode last segment of our show, and that can fit at the end of any season. With us getting a 20-episode order, it doesn’t feel like that ABC wants this to be our last season. I think there are three things that are balanced, how our fans are and whether we still continue to get the numbers and the Live+ numbers that we get. I think the second factor is just the actors and their desire to keep telling these stories, but the biggest thing is me and the writers and us feeling like do we still have fresh situations that we want to put our characters in. At my heart, in my roots, I am a stand-up comic, and rule number one is leave the audience wanting more.

DEADLINE: How do you feel, do you have more stories? Can you do multiple more seasons?

NASH: There’s no question we have enough to do 20 incredible episodes this season.

#interview #dj nash #a million little things

2 notes · View notes

fakedudes · 4 years

Text

The Gravewood Curiosity Shoppe was the least neglected building on Psychics’ Strip - but that wasn’t saying much. Many of the supposed seers who lived on the block considered decrepitude part of the aesthetic. The more a house was falling apart, the more accurate the Tarot card reading.

Boris Andreyez, the proprietor of the Curiosity Shoppe, did not deal in fortunes, however. He sold artifacts - evidence of the existence of cryptids, ancient relics from tribes long gone, cursed jewelry, anything demonically possessed. A spooky storefront was unnecessary for this; before moving to Gravewood, Boris had traveled the world. His stories alone were enough.

Despite his strong belief that his salesmanship would prevail over cheap gimmicks, he couldn’t deny the allure of atmosphere. It was why Autumn was his most profitable season. The town Halloween festival his very best day. Regardless of any roaming imps who wandered near to play tricks upon him. In fact, the obnoxious band of college boys barely crossed his mind at the end of the evening, when he returned to the Shoppe with pockets full of gold. Metaphorically, at least.

“It was good this year,” he said in greeting to his nephew, a gangly boy with messy hair sitting behind the front desk marking up a notebook. Griffin did not so much as glance up, scribbling something fervently on the paper.

“‘Good’ is incredibly non-descript, Uncle. It sounds dull to me.”

Boris smiled warmly, a sparkle of humor behind his tortoise-shell glasses. “Hm. Profitable, then. It was a fantastic capitalistic enterprise. I sold the entire lot - including every issue of your magazine.”

Griffin looked up at this, as Boris had known he would. Kick Rochs, the literary ‘zine Griffin spearheaded at school, was his pride and joy. He peered at Boris for a moment, as if to determine the veracity of his claim. When his mouth twitched, it appeared he’d decided to believe.

“The Halloween issue always does well,” he reasoned. Ever the reasonable boy, Boris’s nephew.

“Logical. It is Gravewood’s favorite holiday. I even saw your friend out and about... uhh... what’s his name? The Goliath with skin like a coloring book.”

“Dean Grady is not my friend. Not anymore, anyway.”

“Oh? Shame. He’s a good boy. He would come in handy whenever we have jars we need opening.”

Griffin slid off the stool he’d been sitting upon, finally closing his notebook so that he could help Boris pack away the Shoppe’s booth setup. He had not been asked, but he never had to be. Griffin was a dutiful boy. He shouldered every nearby burden like he was born magnetically attracted to responsibility. He was, perhaps, every parents’ dream child. But Boris had never planned to be the caretaker of a child - or a man, now, he supposed. The ever-present crease of anxiety in Griffin’s brow did not so much fill Boris with pride as it did melancholy.

“There will be many parties tonight,” he said as they carried a table in from the truck.

“That is the trend these days,” Griffin replied sarcastically.

“Why not attend one? Perhaps Dean Grady will be at one, you can reconnect.” He swayed, singing a tune. “Make new friends, but keep the old...”

Griffin huffed, stumbling as he attempted to keep up with his uncle’s impromptu dance. “One is silver but Dean Grady is coal,” he finished, letting the table fall to the floor with a thud as soon as they reached the foyer.

“Sourpuss. Where’s your holiday spirit?”

“I seem to have been born without the gland for that.”

“Preposterous. Your mother loved holidays more than anything. She even celebrated Arbor Day with vim and vigor.”

Griffin froze. With the pained expression now on his face, he looked like a companion piece to the Bigfoot in the Shoppe’s front window. Like he’d been attacked. Boris, for the first time that day, felt nervous. Because it was not a group of rowdy, privileged boys that frightened him. It was this one, wrapped in a thrift store sweater and claiming more than his share of sadness.

“Loves, of course. Celebrates. She’s not... Poppet, you know I know she’s not... The brains of us elderly folk, we lose our aptitude for tense with the years. Time becomes an unknowable concept.”

Griffin glanced at the Bigfoot statue, as though it were the cause of his torment and not the fact that his mother was somewhere, but not there.

“I’m tired,” he said, speaking directly to Sasquatch. “I’m going to call it an early night.”

Boris watched his nephew retreat upstairs to their apartment, feeling helpless and inept.

sweet dreams (are made of this) ➙

Griffin stood on the street outside the festival. It was over, the sun having gone down hours before. Only remnants of the day’s entertainment remained; stray candy wrappers, abandoned jack-o-lanterns, glitter clinging to the grass like morning dew. The park was empty... except for one figure. They were cast in shadow, the street lamps not bright enough to reach where they stood near the jungle gym.

Griffin’s heart beat solidly in his chest. Something was wrong. He could feel it, like prickles creeping up the back of his neck.

“Hello?” he called out. His voice disappeared across the cool evening. The silhouette did not react. It stood unnaturally still.

Of course. It wasn’t moving. It wasn’t a person. It must have been one of his uncle’s ridiculous store mannequins. That was why Griffin was out there at the park, after all. Wasn’t it?

He strode forward with a sigh... only to stop dead in his tracks when the light at last angled over the figure in the park. It was not a statue.

It was Dean Grady.

And he was looking right at Griffin.

“What are you doing out here?” Griffin asked.

“What did we do?”

Dean’s voice was quiet and low. It was always quiet and low, but that night, in the park, it was also... afraid. Dean was the tank. He was the fighter with the iron fists. Griffin had grown up knowing his anger. Never his fear.

Griffin was about to ask him what was going on, but then Dean continued. “What did we do?” he asked, louder now. “What did we do? What did we do?” He was frantic, his voice raising in volume with every question. Griffin shook his head, confused, until he realized that Dean was not looking at him. He was looking through him.

Griffin spun around. And there was Ace. Ace, who never left the house without that pesky smirk of his, looking inconsolable.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

Were Ace and Dean in a fight? Some sort of weird lovers’ squabble? Griffin turned back to see Dean’s reaction, but he was no longer there. He’d been replaced by a young man nearly a foot shorter than his predecessor. Duck. Duck who was smiling in an absent daze. Duck who was absolutely covered in blood and guts.

“I’m so glad we’re all friends again,” he said. “Hey! Do you think Griffin would let me braid his hair? I learned how to braid hair when they put me in charge of the girls’ bunk at church camp last Summer. I think he’s got enough of it. It’s really not that hard, you just have to...” The normally neat and organized Duck threaded his fingers through his own hair to gather it up, spreading something’s - or someone’s - innards all throughout.

Griffin’s heart had started pounding again. The wrongness had crept back in. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the macabre sight of a blood-soaked Duck Bettencourt. Until something bolted in the space between them.

It was Kaz, running. Not with a football in hand. Not in his jogging shorts. Running from something. An invisible pursuer. He stopped next to Griffin, so close that Griffin could hear his labored breaths. But Kaz didn’t acknowledge him. His eyes were open wide, peering through the darkness for signs of whatever monster was chasing him.

“Holy shit I’m gonna die, holy shit I’m gonna die,” he was muttering.

“Alea iacta est.”

The sound came from behind them, and Griffin spun around once more. There he stood. The last, and first, of them. The Mystery Club’s esteemed leader and most loyal member. Jamie Ward.

It was then that Griffin was thrust into the reality that this was a dream. Because he had dreamt about Jamie before.

It was always the same. The Latin, spoken in a too deep voice. Jamie, standing before him as a mist rolled in. He began to raise from the ground, his arms slowly spreading out to his sides. He hung in the air, suspended above Griffin.

Jamie looked down at him, meeting his eyes.

“Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.“ It was Jamie’s mouth that moved, but again, that too-deep voice. Then he smiled. Something that looked both foreign and fearsome on Jamie Ward’s face.

Griffin woke up just as an invisible force began to rip Jamie limb from limb.

He sat up with a start, heart racing. He could hardly catch his breath, blinking rapidly as though it might help vanquish the lingering image of Jamie’s body being torn apart. The bones cracking, the skin tearing. Blood pooling from his veins as his joints and sinews snapped apart.

It took several moments before Griffin even realized he was not in his bed. His hands felt the soft Earth beneath them and he finally saw something other than the gory destruction of his once friend.

He was in the cemetery. Back where he’d been a week ago at Kaz’s behest. Sat right in front of the door to Jamie’s shed. The raw fear coursing through him did not dissipate. He was too afraid the dream wasn’t over. Terrified of what he’d see if he opened the door. But Griffin knew enough about these nightmares by then to know they always ended the same way: with Jamie. Jamie who was most certainly in that shed.

Griffin really wanted to wake up. So he opened the door.

#sweet dreams #normal

5 notes · View notes

haileygarciasunshine · 4 years

Text

Reunion

Pairing: Clark Kent x Reader

Word Count: 1,683

Warning: Swearing, Making out

Summary: When Tom falls ill, his estranged son comes back into the reader's life bringing more than she bargained for.

Wattpad

Buy me a coffee

Leaning against your shut apartment door, you closed your eyes letting out a deep breath. It had been a long day at the diner, with many rude customers. Tossing your bag onto the floor, you made your way to the couch, laying across it. Pulling your phone out, you began looking through your notifications. There was a voicemail from Tom Curry.

As you listened to it, you picked up your purse before you made your way back out of your apartment. Starting your beat up pickup truck, you began driving to Tom’s house. It was 11:30pm. Tom was friends with your parents when they were still alive, which resulted in you and Arthur becoming best friends. He had been acting strange as of late, but you knew not to pressure him knowing he would tell you in his own time.

The message that Tom had left you, made your heart beat more rapid. You spent most of the drive worrying about what could be wrong. When Arthur's mother died, it took a huge toll on him and his father. Your relationship was simply platonic, although many people thought you were together due to your closeness.

Flinging open the car door, you had barely put it in park before you jumped out of the truck.

“Tom?” You called frantically. “Tom?”

Your frantic feelings coming through when you knocked on the door. It was rapid and firm.

“Tom!” You called again. “It’s Y/N! Open up!”

Still no answer. Fear began coursing through your veins. Letting out a sigh, you kicked the door open, debris flying.

“Tom?” You called cautiously entering his house. An odd feeling overwhelming you.

Slowing entering the house further, you glanced around the house. Stepping through the threshold for the kitchen you saw him lying on the floor motionless.

“Tom!” You shrieked, quickly kneeling beside him. Pulling out your phone you were about to call 911, before you remembered it would be at least ten minutes before they got to you. Grabbing one of his arms you hoisted him up, getting him into the truck. Exceeding the normal speed limit, it was a few minutes before you arrived at the hospital. Hosting him up again, you trudged through the emergency room.

“Someone please help!” You called.

A group of nurses quickly surrounding you, taking Tom and placing him on a hospital bed.

Watching them take Tom into a room, you quickly made your way back to your truck parking it somewhere safe. Making your way back towards the ER, you pulled your phone out calling Arthur.

It was only a matter of minutes before Arthur, Clark and Bruce, showed up at the ER.

“How’s he doing?” Arthur questioned handing you a cup of coffee.

Taking a sip of the coffee, you shrugged. “I don’t know. They haven’t come out with any updates yet.”

Glancing at the clock it read 1:30am.

“It only takes your father getting hurt for you to come by and see him.” You spat raising an eyebrow.

“Y/N…”

Huffing you shook your head. “Save it. I’m not the one that you need to explain that to.”

Frowning he glanced at his shoes. “I...I…”

“I don’t care about your excuses, Arthur.” You snapped glaring at him. “Tom deserved better.”

“He had you.” He reasoned. “You were there to take care of him.”

“That’s your justification for running away and leaving him?” Your voice filled with anger. Challenging him, you took steps forward stopping until you were mere inches apart. “What a pathetic excuse you have, Arthur.”

A firm hand grabbed your elbow, pulling you away from Arthur. “Simmer down here children.” A deep voice sounded.

“Don’t touch me.” You spat, heat coursing through your veins, rising in your cheeks. Your heart beating rapidly. The lights around the waiting room, bursting causing small embers to fall as the burst. The electric lines outdoors near the room doing the same.

Grounding yourself, your chest began rising and falling at a rapid pace. Glancing at the men before you, they were staring at you with widened eyes. Grabbing your purse, you swiftly making your way down the hall. As you made your way through the halls, it dawned on you that you were still in your waitress uniform.

“Y/N!” Arthur called behind you.

Shaking your head, you didn’t care to stop.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A few months had gone by since you had last seen Arthur. It killed you everyday since then that you weren’t able to reconnect with your best friend, seeing as how close you were to rekindling the relationship. It had almost been like old times, him bringing you coffee, being your rock during a drastic time.

It was one of your rare days off, you were cleaning around your apartment. A firm knock echoed through your apartment, causing fear to wash over you. You weren’t expecting anyone to come over.

Opening the door, you were face to face with one of the men from the night at the ER.

“Y/N?” His deep voice questioned. “I’m a friend of Arthur’s. My name’s Bruce.”

Allowing him in, you began brewing coffee for the both of you.

“What can I help you with Bruce?” You asked, leaning against the counter not meeting his gaze.

“It’s about Arthur.” He began hope filling his voice.

Letting out a huff you shook your head. “I don’t know what you think I can help with.” You stated crossing your arms, sending a glare towards the man. “I’m not his keeper. Nor am I his friend.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

After, Bruce left you with some food for thought, you began chewing on it. Arthur was one of your best friends, could you really just walk away from him?

Bruce had offered you a spot in the Justice League seeing what you had done in the ER waiting room. Graciously you declined, not wanting to be involved with things you couldn’t handle.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The news of Tom’s death was felt around the world. Holding a wake for him, you were filled with an anxious feeling. Anxiously waiting to see if Arthur came or not. Hours began to pass, as your hope began to felter. Letting out a sigh, everyone had come and gone leaving you with the duty of cleaning up the space and the trash.

“Am I too late?” Arthur’s voice rang through the hall.

Tears began pooling in your eyes as relief washed over you. Turning around, you were surprised to see everyone in the Justice League standing beside him.

“No.” You muttered, swiftly walking towards him. “Never too late.” You threw your arms around him, pulling him as close as possible towards you. The warmth of his hug, comforted you.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered into your shoulder. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you both needed me. I’m sorry-”

Pulling away from him, you rested your hands on his biceps. “None of that.” You spoke in a firm tone. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.” You smiled, gazing at each other.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Arthur introduced you to the rest of the team. They were very understanding and welcoming towards you.

“Let’s go to the bar.” Arthur spoke.

Frowning, your gaze fell to the floor. “I...I don’t know.”

“I’m not taking no for an answer Y/N. Come on.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The night coming to a close, you were a little more tispy than you were used to. Clark had insisted he escort you home.

“Why’d you walk me home, Clark?” You asked curtly.

“I..I don’t know.” He frowned slightly, not expecting your question.

You hummed in response. “You’ve never talked to me yet somehow you are always around me.” Raising an eyebrow at him, you turned toward him slightly.

Letting up on him, the rest of the walk was in an awkward silence.

Arriving at your building, you were facing each other. Rocking back and forth slightly, you gazed at the ground in front of you.

“Do you want to come up?”

“If you’re okay with that.”

Giggling slightly, you nodded leading him upstairs.

Changing into something more comfortable, you gazed at Clark in the middle of your living room still in a tux. Since meeting, you both had been prancing around your feelings between you for quite some-time. You failed to realize you were leaning against your doorframe, gawking at Clark.

“Like what you see?” He smirked, questioning in a teasing tone.

You hummed in response, biting your bottom lip. Clark was in front of you in a split second. One of his hands resting comfortably on your hip while the other brought his thumb up to your lip, pulling it from your teeth. Gazing into your eyes, he slowly leaned forward nuzzling his nose against yours. His soft lips touching yours in hesitation. Bringing your hands up to his hair, they locked themselves behind his head holding him to you. His tongue darted out tracing the crevices of your lip before you allowed him into your mouth. Both of your tongues prodding and licking against each other. Taking in a sharp breath, he began leading you to your bed. Your knees hitting the edge of the bed before you pulled Clark onto your bed with you. Making himself comfortable above you. His soft lips trailing along the column of your throat earning a gasp from you when he began sucking and biting in his wake.

“Guys!” Victor boomed walking into your apartment.

“We know you’re here!” Barry spoke.

“Figured we could do some team building!” Arthur added.

Letting out a sigh, Clark placed a chaste kiss to your lips before standing up, pulling you with him.

Stepping into the living room, the three men dropped their gazes to you.

“We weren’t interrupting something were we?” Arthur spoke in a gruff voice.

Clearing your throat, you spoke. “No, not at all.” You shook your head.

“Umm.” Barry started. “Are you sure? Cause Clark has some lipstick on his face and collar-”

Victor elbowed him roughly, causing him to cough.

“What’re you guys doing here?” You asked, swiftly changing the subject.

“Movie Night!” The three of them replied in unison.

23 notes · View notes

talesofphantombandits · 4 years

Text

A Stones Throw Away ~ Part One. A Nick Woods Fic.

Summery: Foster James has been through many ups and downs with her band, but this was probably the worst situation she’d found herself in. After getting kicked out the band a stupid accident ends in her hitching a ride with Nick and Sam woods who are on their chase for Corey and Jimmy. Will she be able to reconnect with her only family? or will she find a new more loving group of people to stand by her.

Pairing: Nick Woods/OC

Warnings: Language.

Masterlist.

"You're an idiot"

"Excuse me?" I stormed after my boyfriend of 2 years.

My heels clicked on the wooden planks that lead to the front entrance of the diner.

"You're an idiot!" I don't even remember how this argument started, In fact I've lost count of how many stupid arguments we've had these past couple of months.

"Do you actually think that or are you just finding any excuse to start an argument with me?"

He spun on his heel and looked at me pointedly, scoffed and crossed his arms. We now stood blocking the doorway to the dinner.

"Well it sure looks that way."

"You're the one that was making up these stories about me going off with other girls." He screeched, I honestly don’t know what I found attractive about him anymore.

"Because it's true! And I have proof. God the only reason I put up with you is for the band." I threw my hands up in the air, I suddenly became aware of two people behind me trying to enter the diner but seemed too awkward to say anything to us. And I wasn’t letting my guard down now.

"Proof my ass, you just want to make something to fight about."

"Oh I want to make something up to fight about?!" I poked his chest hard.

He grabbed my hand forcefully “Listen I could have any girl in this dinner so I'd be careful what you say to me." He spat at me, I just tugged my arm out of his hold.

"Is that supposed to be a threat?” I smirked. “Or a promise. Because honestly, at this moment in time I couldn't care less." I tuned to find a guy behind me, perfect.

"This Mike, is how much of a crap I give about our relationship."

I grabbed his face and kissed him. I ignored how good it felt to kiss this complete stranger, pulling away quickly and turning back to my idiot of a boyfriend. "Two can play at that game Mike."

Crossing my arms over my chest, feeling pretty proud at the souring expression on his face.

"Whatever man." He pushed open the door and finally walked into the building.

"God sake." I whispered to myself, exhausted at the constant fighting I rubbed my face in frustration.

I suddenly remembered about the guy behind me that I had all but assaulted, I groaned and turned around.

"I’m so sorry." I really hope he couldn’t sense the shock on my features. Dam, I think I just forced the cutest guy ever to kiss me.

"It's fine." He smirked.

I just smiled at him awkwardly and finally went into the diner cursing myself for always getting myself into these dumb situations.

I went over to the booth where my other band members waited, making sure I was on the other side of the booth from Mike. He made sure to put his arm around Amy, the constant groupie that followed us around.

I just rolled my eyes and look towards the front counter where the lady began serving cute guy and the older gentleman he was with. I quickly looked away before anyone would notice, but as I turned I caught Mikes stink eye as he looked to the guy and back to me.

"So the set list." Our guitarist Vee started, shaking both myself and Mike out of the hate filled staring contest.

"What about it." Dan our drummer said while shoving some fries into his mouth.

I scrunched my nose up in disgust at the sight.

"I hate it, can't we swap some songs, we have better songs than the ones on the list."

"And you couldn't have spoke up about this 3 months ago when we started practising Vee? It's too late now, the gigs tomorrow." I said leaning over the table.

"Hey I was just sharing my thoughts, no need to get on my ass." She shuffled out of the booth to go to the loo.

Through out the whole of lunch I couldn't help myself but to peek at the stranger I'd kissed, even when I wasn't stealing glances I could feel his eyes burning a hole into the side of my head.

It would be a lie if I said I was so tempted to just walk up to him and get his number, I even considered just staying here to talk to him and let my toxic band just go on without me. But I couldn’t, being the lead singer of a popular band earns you a lot of money.

Money that I needed.

So instead, when It was time to head back on the road I just walked past the cute stranger. It all went in slow motion, he spun on his chair to catch my eye and he gave me a sad smile paired with an adorable little wave before I headed out to the van.

I had a very strong feeling that, that wasn't going to be the last time I'd see him. At least I hope I’d see him again, as we pulled out of the parking lot a deep regret started to settle in my stomach.

I should have at least got his number.

........……

When I hopped in the van, I had no option but to sit next to Mike.

"You’re a dumb ass you know that" I mumbled more to myself.

"Don't start, I swear to god I'll kick you out of the van." Mike sneered at me.

"Really? You’re the one picking fights with me, cheating on me yet I’m the one who would be kicked out? You don’t have the authority to do that anyway."

I turned in my seat so I could face him properly.

"Anyway what the hell will you do without your lead singer eh?"

"Okay one, I’m the leader of this band I have to authority to do anything and everything to protect its future. And two, I’m sure we could find someone better. Someone more trusting and less argumentative." He smirked.

"STOP THE VAN!"

"What are you doing?" I said before being lunged forward by the brakes.

The van stopped and Mike slid the door open so aggressively that you could hear the hinges groan.

"Get out"

"What?"

"I said get out, I mean I have to give it to you, your vocals are some of the best but your attitude sucks. So if you can find your own way to the venue then you can sing. If not then guess we'll be advertising for a new singer."

“You can’t just kick me out in the middle of no where, plus you’re the only one who wants me gone.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Anyone in favour of Parker staying?” The van was deadly silent that you could hear a pin drop.

I felt so betrayed, this band had been like the family I never knew.

Mike all but pushed me out of the van while the others laughed behind him.

"You're a piece of shit, you know that Mike?"

He just tutted. "Then you should have dumped me when you had the chance." Just like that the door was slammed in my face, the van speed off covering me in dust.

I just stared after the retreating van in absolute shock. The only family I had ever known had just left me out in the desert to fend for myself. I felt alone, I fell to my knees sobbing. I looked down the long road we’d drove up but it was deserted. God knows how long it would be before another car came along, and it would be dark and cold in about two hours.

I’d stopped crying about twenty minutes again, I got to my feet and dusted myself off. I could feel the sadness turning into anger, I know the stop sign never did anything to me but it's the only object out here that I could have kicked. So I did.

Really hard.

"Ow ouch for god sake."

I picked up a biggish rock from the ground and threw it as hard as I could towards the road, I’d failed to see and hear the lone truck driving my way. But of course it was just my luck that the pick up truck was passing just as my rock flew through the air. The rock managed to find its way through the back window of the truck smashing the glass making the driver screech to a halt.

"Shit." My hands flew to cover my mouth in shock, I wanted to run but my feet had different plans. It was like I was glued to the spot, I didn’t know what this random person was capable of.

"Hey! What the hell!" An old man got out of the drivers side to inspect the damaged window, he had the rock in his hand probably ready to throw back at me.

"Oh god am so sorry! I was so angry and I just picked the rock up and.." The passenger side door flung open and there stood the cute guy from the diner.

"Am all for taking your anger out on things but seriously?" He laughed at me, I just ignored him.

"Look I’m really sorry, but my ass of a boyfriend just dumped me in the middle of no where and I have to be in California tomorrow or I’m going to loose a lot of money. Also this place is a waste zone I was trying to release some pent up anger and didn't see your truck coming." Both guys where just stood staring at me ranting.

"I’m sorry okay."

The cute guy just looks to the other dude who was still stood at the rear of the car.

"So how are you going to right this situation?" The dude points to the window.

"I can pay for it, I promise." I moved a little closer to them, I wasn’t getting a threatening vibe from them at all.

"But that means we'll have to give you a ride, quite frankly I don't know if you deserve that." Cute guy says in a teasing manner.

I just give him a funny look, turning back to the older guy with a pleading look. "I know I broke your window but would you really leave me out here by myself? It's kinda getting dark and cold. God knows what animals are out here." I said shivering, crossing my arms over my chest trying to keep warm.

Cute guy just laughed. Again I squinted at him.

"Fine hop in." The other dude said.

I walked towards the passenger side, but floppy hair blocked my way in.

“Little cold for you to be wearing that isn’t it?”

I looked down at the skater dress I was wearing then looked back at him, I caught him looking me up and down.

“I didn’t exactly plan on being stuck in the middle of no where. Abandoned by the only people I consider closer than family. I expected to be in a nice hotel room right about now, so excuse me if I’m not dress appropriate. Can I get in the truck now?”

“Sure.” He just smirked at me, he shuffled into the middle seat and I got in after him.

As soon as I had shut the door we were off.

#the wizard 1989 #the wizard #christian slater #christian slater fanfic #nick woods #nick woods fanfic #80's fanfic #80's movies

5 notes · View notes

amorisabelle · 5 years

Text

Breakfast Debacle

INVOLVED: Levi Morgan, Maya Morgan, Naomi King, Calvin King, Victoria Perry, Dominic Perry, Isabelle Marshall, Alexander Marshall, Israel West, and Melaine Ashton TIME FRAME: Saturday, December 21, 2019 and Sunday, December 22, 2019 LOCATION: Elk Trail Lodge; Denver, Colorado SUMMARY: After Naomi saw Levi speak into Melaine’s room the night before, she and the girls make breakfast for the house resulting in conflict, of course; Maya finally arrives and greets her friends and husband, with Israel in tow.

Levi tip-toed out of his room, gently closing his room door behind him, and into the hallway carefully, looking around vigilantly. He was trying to be as quiet as possible, as to not wake any of his friends or their wives. Licking his lips, he continued his watch as he moved down the hallway, trying to step lightly as he did.

Having been denied sex by her husband, Naomi laid in bed reading a book quietly to herself as she festered over Calvin. Hearing a creak in the night, she raised up a little noticing the shadow as it passed by their assigned room door. Squinting she got up, sitting the book aside and she opened her door very slow and still, as she peered out to see Levi creeping down the hall and into their friends room.

Feeling that the coast was clear, Levi hurried the rest of the way to Melaine’s room. He reached for her handle, smirking to himself as he gently and carefully opened her door and made his way inside, closing it behind him swiftly.

Naomi watched Levi closely before she turned closing her door with her mouth gaped wide open, she couldn’t believe the no-good son of a bitch. “That motherfucker,” she sneered to herself, Maya was the sweetest and most humble friend they had. She didn’t deserve this shit one bit, not from him, not from anybody.

“I saw that low-down dirty dog,” Naomi exclaimed to her friends as she scrambled some eggs in a pan. “He was in there up until about two hours ago,” she said looking at them both as she ratted out Levi for the piece of shit he was.

Victoria’s whole face contorted as she pushed the lever on the toaster down and looked to Naomi. “What?!” She grunted out disgusted.

Isabelle poured orange juice into the glasses before she looked at Naomi, shaking her head, a scowl on her face. “I knew it,” she grunted bitterly.

“Yeah,” Naomi said as she looked to Victoria. “I am telling Maya as soon as she gets here,” she promised as she continued to whip up the eggs in the skillet.

“Uh-uh, Naomi, wait a minute,” Victoria said waving her hand in front of Naomi.

“Wait for what?” Naomi asked the woman her neck jerking back, ever so slightly as she looked to her crazily.

“You don’t know what kind of state-of-mind she’s going to be in,” Victoria said, turning to look at Naomi, expectantly.

“Oh, come on Vicky,” Naomi said to the woman beside her as she sat the spatula down for a moment. “Let’s forget it with all that psych mess right now,” she waved off. “I am telling her,” she said sternly.

“No, Vic’s right,” Isabelle chimed in. “You know she’s been really depressed lately. Let’s just wait,” she said thoughtfully as she began to pour some of the orange juice into more glasses.

“Why?” Naomi asked the two of them whipping her head back and forth. “If it was one of us, we would want to know right?” she asked them seriously her hand on her hip.

Victoria scoffed, shaking her head, adding more fruit to the plate that she was holding.

“Uh,” Isabelle shook her head at Naomi. “You don’t know that. Sometimes people get angry at you for telling them,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Exactly,” Victoria added, “and she’s been so unhappy, the least we could do as her friends is take make sure that she’s gonna be okay.”

“Still, the fact that we are her friends–” Naomi said coming back with a counter argument before some of the gang walked into the kitchen with them. She fell quiet, moving back to her original duty.

Levi moved through the door first saying, “good morning,” as he moved for the fridge.

“Good morning gang,” Alexander said cheerfully as he walked into the kitchen to reconnect with his wife and their two friends. He sat down in a stool in front of the women that were preparing breakfast.

“So, just where the hell have y’all been?” Naomi asked as the troop came trotting in.

“We hiked a trail,” Alexander said to her easily, innocence laced in his voice as he sat down looking at her oddly. It was far too early in the morning for Naomi to be cranky, or was it?

Dominic looked to their friends and said, “there were a lot of animals; foxes and things,” he told them having picked up a biscuit.

Melaine stood before the bar area and she smirked at everyone, toying with her Louis Vuitton scarf around her neck before she said, “it smells so good Naomi.” She popped a piece of biscuit into her mouth as well and said, “you belong in a kitchen” to her slyly as she leaned against the counter.

“Bitch,” Naomi said looking to Melaine, “don’t get me to where you belong, hoe ass. Ass belong on a corner… you already have your pimp,” she said slyly as she rolled her eyes at her.

Melaine looked to Naomi disgustedly as she called her not only out of her name but a prostitute all in one. The bitch didn’t really know her.

Levi sat the apple juice from the fridge onto the counter and sat down beside Melaine at the breakfast bar, his eyes going wide slightly at Naomi’s words, but he said nothing.

“Hey, good morning everybody,” Calvin said feeling bright and refreshed after a wonderful night's sleep. He sat down at the bar beside Alexander with a bright smile.

“Morning Calvin,” Alexander said to his friend looking at him and then looking down.

“Morning brother,” Dominic replied as he still chomped on a biscuit standing next to his wife.

“How did you sleep Calvin?” Melaine asked, still leaning against the counter.

“I slept great!” Calvin said, turning in his seat a little to look at Melaine. “I was out like--”

“Did you?” Melaine said with a grin on her face before it fell watching Naomi.

Naomi didn’t bother to look at her husband as she took the plate, she made for him and plopped it down before him. She didn’t care what happened to the content on the plate as she did so. She turned her back to everyone.

Looking down at the plate as Naomi dropped it in front of him, Calvin’s toast flying into the air before falling back down onto the counter, he frowned muttering, “I slept okay.”

Isabelle wasn’t even phased as Naomi dropped the plate before Calvin and she took a sip of her orange juice, looking at her husband.

Eyes growing wide as Naomi slammed Calvin’s plate down, Victoria picked up another plate and prepared it for someone without another word.

Alexander looked to the side of his friends face with eyes large as saucers as the woman literally threw his breakfast over to him. He looked from his face, to his disheveled plate, to his own wife with the same wide eyes he started with.

Calvin looked at Alexander out the corner of his eye slightly, then down at his plate, making a face at his friend. Didn’t he know his wife was crazy. This is why he couldn’t tell her about his VD.

“Uhm,” Victoria began, trying to ignore what Naomi had just done. “Levi, have you called Maya to see if she was okay?”

“No,” Levi replied quickly, shaking his head as he ate his biscuit. “Can I get some coffee?” he asked.

Naomi looked to Levi, her face hardening as she shook her head and turned her back to the group again moving for the sink to wash the dishes.

“I am sure she’s fine,” Melaine said as she licked her lips looking at everyone.

“Was anyone talking to you trick?” Naomi asked Melaine upfront, turning back around from the sink. Of course, she’d have two cents to add to this after, all she didn’t care as long as she had the opportunity to keep fucking Maya’s man.

“Trick?” Melaine repeated, at the point by now she’d had enough of Naomi and all of her disrespectful comments.

“Yes trick,” Naomi said to her very quickly, “as in slut, whore, tramp,” she listed gesturing with her hand. “Are you unaware of your name?” she asked resting her hand on her hip as she gazed at her.

“Look Naomi,” Melaine said in a harsh accent, before she went on, “you don’t know me, I have tolerated you long enough,” she said pointing her finger at her as she did.

“I will beat your ass bitch,” Naomi said to Melaine in response, each word that left her lips came out forcefully and drew her closer and closer to the woman.

“Then do it bitch!” Melaine said as she hopped up from her position leaned over on the counter. Never mind Levi trying to get in between her and Naomi.

Levi stood quickly with Melaine, “Whoa, wait a minute,” he said wrapping his arm around her petite frame before he reached over holding his hand out to Naomi.

Calvin sat quietly, eating his food hungrily as if nothing was happening around him.

Victoria squealed as Naomi pulled her out of the way and she spun around, moving closer to Isabelle out of shock.

Dominic watched as the woman threw things at each other and he said, “hey, hey, hey, hey,” loudly, voice booming around the space as he tried to hold Naomi back. His head moved back and forth as more food continued to be thrown.

Alexander lifted his hands up, a fork in one of them as he too added that the woman needed to stop and calm down. “Wait a minute,” he called out as he watched on.

Maya climbed out of Israel’s truck as they arrived at the cabin, she took it in all of its glory as she stuck one hand in her fur coat and the other held her purse moving towards the entrance.

Israel climbed out of the truck, moving to the backseat to grab Maya’s bags for her. As well as the package that came for Alexander.

“Hey,” Alexander said as he looked towards Levi, “handle that,” he said to him as he sat his fork back down in his plate. “Hey, she cooked grits and I am just going to move the hell out of the way,” he said dipping his fork in his food and then into his mouth.

Levi looked to Alexander and said, “she ghetto,” throwing his hands into the air.

“Someone better get here before I do,” Naomi said in response as she backed up slowly.

Maya moved throughout the house and she headed for the kitchen, having smelt some food cooking in the house. They must have been eating breakfast. She began to pull her fur coat off when she reached the opening and said “hey!” happily “Divas!” she called out to her best friends. She leaned in for a hug from Dominic happily accepting the kiss to her temple from him as she chuckled infectiously. She moved toward her husband her hand now gripping her heavy coat and purse, she moved to give him a kiss despite his disposition. “Hey, what’s going on everybody?” she asked.

Levi leaned towards his wife out of courtesy as she reached for him. He allowed her to kiss his cheek, but he didn’t show her much affection back.

Israel moved into the cabin behind Maya, sitting her things down as he stepped in fully, assessing everyone quickly.

Maya moved towards Victoria and she smiled at her friend leaning in for a hug.

“Thank God you’re okay,” Victoria said, hugging Maya tight, rubbing her back lovingly before she pulled away.

“Yes, I made it finally,” Maya replied to Victoria before she moved over to Isabelle and hugged the woman to her as well.

Isabelle stepped forward; arms open to her friend. “We were worried sick about you, you know.” She said hugging her friend tight.

“I know, I am fine,” Maya said to Isabelle, “this man took really good care of me,” she said gesturing Israel off to the side.

Dominic looked to Israel and he smiled thoughtfully, he was glad the man had managed to assist their friend some way. He knew how much she was on his mind and the mind of their other friends.

Levi turned to the sheriff, shaking the man’s hand firmly as he looked him up and down.

“At least some man did,” Naomi she smartly back to her friend, a sneer on her lips as she looked to her friends shitty husband. Never mind that, she hugged the woman tightly wrapping her arms around her thick frame.

Pulling away from her friend, Maya moved over to Israel and said, “everybody, this is Israel,” she emphasized placing her hand on his arm as she looked to them. “I invited him for breakfast, is that alright?” she asked them.

Levi squinted at Naomi, holding his hand out to her with a huff before he moved to sit back down.

As Maya introduced him to the group, Israel smiled. “Good morning everybody,” he said with a slight wave before he gazed at Maya intently as she spoke, giving her his full undivided attention before he looked at the group to see their reactions and hear their thoughts on the idea of him staying to eat with them.

“Fine with me,” Calvin called out from his spot at the end of the breakfast bar.

“Good to see you man,” Alexander said to the guy kindly.

Dominic held up the plate offering the man a warm biscuit if he’d like it politely. Though honestly, he’d thrown back two and, in his mind, he owned the plate of biscuits now.

“Same here,” Israel said back to Alexander before he remembered the package tucked under his arm and added, “oh, here you are Dr. Marshall,” as he walked over. “A package came for you. When the postal service can’t make it up the hill, they leave it with me,” he informed the man.

Alexander looked to Israel as he approached, and he nodded his head grabbing the package that contained the shot he needed to give his best friend. “Thank you,” he told the guy, glad it had made to them in a quick and fast paced manner.

Isabelle looked directly at her husband, asking, “what is that?” He had some nerve telling her to put the work away for the week and he was getting doctor packages?

Alexander swallowed down some food and avoided his wife’s eye contact as he said, “something I needed.” Picking his glass of orange juice up and taking a long sip as she looked over at Calvin.

Calvin ate his food, slowly looking over at Alexander out the corner of his eye before he dropped his head quickly.

Maya looked around hand on her hips and she smiled again. “It’s so good to see you guys,” she said looking at her friend lovingly. God, did she miss them, her friends were always a good pick-me-up and she was sure she would get some peace of mind out of this trip. It would ease her and hopefully help her, and her husband rekindle their flame.

“It’s good to see you too,” Victoria said sweetly from her spot off to the side.

“Melaine,” Maya said smiling at the girl as she licked her lips slowly, the wheels had been turning in her head since she learned of Israel having been divorced.

Melaine looked to her friend and said, “hm,” sweetly back having gone back to her biscuit.

“That is Israel,” Maya said sweetly, “I talked about you all last night,” she told her thoughtfully. “Girl,” she started, “he is single,” she told her with a knowing look.

Melaine looked to her friend and then Israel, taking him in. “Is that so?” she asked her. “Mm,” she hummed out. “That’s great,” she told her as she shifted on her stool now before she cleared her throat.

Naomi looked to the three in an unknown love triangle and she pursed her lips slyly.

Levi looked at Melaine, a scowl on his face as he placed his hand on her thigh under the counter discreetly, squeezing tightly.

Isabelle pursed her lips, looking between Levi and Melaine and she brought her glass of orange juice to her mouth as she looked off mumbling. “I saw that,” to Naomi and Victoria.

“I did too,” Victoria added quickly, her face scrunching slightly as she shifted on her feet.

“Mm-hm,” Naomi said with her glass up to her mouth as she nodded her head discreetly.

“So Melaine,” Maya said pressing forward, “why don’t you move over,” she smiled cutely, “and let the man sit down,” she asked her with a smirk.

Levi rolled his eyes, sitting his coffee cup down as his head rolled to the side slightly, irritated as he bit his lip to hold his tongue.

“Oh, alright,” Melaine said playing along as she shift stools, moving one over to Alexander and giving the man space to sit in between her and Levi now.

“Yeah,” Alexander said as he gestured with his hand, “You’re single, he’s single,” he said to the woman as she moved next to him. “So,” he stuttered getting a look from his friend, “sit, there,” he said hiding his somewhat amusement as he looked down now.

Maya grabbed a strawberry and placed it into her mouth, chewing lightly as she asked her friend. “Victoria what are you doing?” curiously. The woman couldn’t cook, they all knew that. If you asked her, she was the best cook out of all four of them.

Victoria scooped eggs onto a plate, and she looked over at Maya saying, “what? I’m helping out.”

“You don’t know anything about cooking,” Maya said to her as she licked her fingertips gently. “Move over,” she told her with a grin.

Naomi looked to Maya and Victoria and she actually giggled to herself. It was indeed a known fact that the woman was not a good cook.

Isabelle looked over at Victoria and Maya and she smiled, a laugh escaping her as she looked to Naomi, chuckling with her friend.

“I got it,” Maya told the woman as she moved to wash her hands and dry them to assist with breakfast.

“Ain’t no secret… you know all about cooking and eating don’t you, baby…” Levi said to his wife harshly as he forked some eggs into his mouth.

“This motherfucker,” Naomi said lifting her finger up to Levi, he had some damn nerve. How dare he speak to Maya in that way and in front of all of them like that. His desire to embarrass her at every turn was starting to get under her skin considering they all knew at this point he was a cheater. “You got one more fucking time,” she warned the man seriously as she glared at him.

Levi looked at Naomi disgusted. “What is wrong with you?” he asked her. “Alex, please prescribe her some valium.”

“You’re just such a-” Naomi said trying to contain herself, but she really couldn’t at this point. “Asshole,” she told him. “Let me go and just-” she breathed, “get my ass out of here,” she told them all as she walked out of the kitchen.

Maya looked between her husband and her friend as she asked everyone. “What’s wrong with her?” very curious to know what she missed and why everyone was so hostile with each other right now.

“PMS,” Levi responded to Maya quickly with a shrug of his shoulders and as Naomi walked out, he turned in his chair his eyes following her as he said, “take a valium.”

“What is wrong with your wife?” Alexander asked Calvin as he turned to look at him. He picked his fork backup and began to eat some more.

Calvin looked at Alexander, his mouth full of food and he took a minute to swallow before he said, “what do you mean?” He looked around at all of his friends. “It’s Sunday.”

Alexander’s head snapped back up at his friend's words and he turned to look at everyone wide-eyed. It’s Sunday? Was his friend that bad, was she that much of a fighter and aggressor that her own husband didn’t notice how violent she could be.

Melaine watched the woman walk out and then looked between Alexander and Calvin. As the man spoke of his wife, she looked to him crazily before she looked over to Levi who had begun chuckling from the ridiculousness that was Naomi.

Levi looked at Calvin with a chuckle, unable to believe that his friend just sat there unbothered through all of that.

Israel sat in between Melaine and Levi shaking his head at the group of friends as a smirk tugged on his lips, his eyes watching Maya before him as she prepped plates.

Maya scooped a helping of grits onto her husband’s plate as she prepared him one, if she didn’t do it who would? She was his wife and it was her job to cater to his every need and she always would.

“You are so immune to her behavior, that you don’t even realize,” Alexander said turning to his friend still a bit shocked and amused right now. “What the hell?” he said chuckling at that.

Dominic looked to Alexander and he chuckled out shaking his head as he leaned against the counter. His friends were truly something else, none of them had the slightest idea of that.

Melaine chuckled herself, what a sad life to live, she thought to herself a she looked to Levi. She pulled her sleeves up to her turtleneck. “God!” she breathed.

Levi laughed out at Alexander’s words as he held his cup of coffee.

Isabelle stood there, not finding it amusing in the slightest as she shifted on her feet and as the phone rang, she turned and moved for it since she was the closest.

“Excuse me,” Maya breathed to her friend as she reached across her. “Here baby,” she said sweetly to her husband as she handed him over a plate she made, with everything she knew he liked with the proportions that she knew he’d appreciate.

“Thank you,” Levi said easily as he grabbed the plate from his wife and dug in.

“Hello?” Isabelle said answering the phone quickly as she leaned against the counter facing everyone. “Oh, hey Monica,” she said before she grew quiet, listening to Monica on the line. “No, it’s okay,” she said shocked, her eyes moving to her husband. “He said what now?” she asked, staring him down before she began to shake her head, pulling her gaze away from him. “No, it’s fine. Thank you,” she said. “Just tell him I’ll get back to him a little later,” she said as she turned back towards the base of the phone. “Alright, bye,” she said before placing it back on the dock. She stared at the phone for a moment before she turned and looked to her husband once more, moving towards him. “Alexander… Alexander…”

Alexander ignored his wife at first, having heard only part of his wife’s conversation. Once he heard Monica’s name, he knew. He asked the woman in kindness to let them enjoy their trip and she failed him. “Yeah,” he finally said looking to Isabelle as she approached the counter again.

As he answered her, Isabelle arched an eyebrow. “Did you tell Monica not to call me?” She asked him, her voice laced with a slight attitude.

“It’s our vacation,” Alexander said to the woman with a bit of an attitude himself as he forked some more grits into his mouth.

Nodding slowly, Isabelle dropped her eyes before she looked back up at him. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked him, nodding towards the doorway that led into the living room.

“No” Alexander told his wife sternly as he moved away from the topic at hand. “So, Israel,” he said changing the subject, “we saw like snow mobiles, where do we get those?” he asked him.

Isabelle looked at her husband incredulously, her neck jerking back slightly, her eyes rolling as he told her no. She let out a harsh breath as she pursed her lips and turned her back to him.

Looking over at Alexander, Israel chuckling saying, “Ah that’s easy--”

“I’m not worried about snowboarding,” Melaine said to Israel, “I want to shop,” she emphasized. It was her favorite past time and she loved spending Levi’s money.

Levi began choking on his food at Melaine’s words and he looked at her wildly before dropping his head as he coughed into his fist.

“You okay?” Melaine asked Levi as everyone looked over at the man as he coughed roughly.

“Sorry,” Levi muttered holding his finger out to everyone to excuse himself as he choked.

#thread #thread: breakfast debacle #thread with: alexander luke #thread with: calvin isaiah #thread with: naomi savannah #thread with: victoria annalise #thread with: dominic jamal #thread with: levi andre #thread with: maya aria #thread with: israel bronx #thread with: melaine rose

9 notes · View notes

thestuckylibrary · 5 years

Text

Group Ask 140

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

I’m searching for a ff where Winter Soldier tries to kill Tony Stark, Steve want to stop him. WS kiss Steve as a distraction, later they are fighting in a hotel suite and have funny time. I’ve looked through a 100 pages and I’m slowly losing hope. Maybe you know what’s ff name.

Anon sent in Make One Dream Come True (You Only Live Twice) by beardsly, which seems to have been taken down.

Anon 2 said:

Hey! I remember this fic I read a while ago. It started with Pepper saying the team needed to have a more social presence so they had a film crew come and set up cameras. Steve and Bucky we’re dating but not out to the public. I remember they get filmed hugging at night and steve saying “let’s go back to bed” and the Internet freaks out and thinks they’re a couple. I’ve tried looking under the media tag and social media. Also tried on AO3 i can’t find it anywhere pls help!!! Thank you!!!!

ncphix sent in @sgtbarnes1917 and @cptrogers1918 by BayleyWinchester (WIP | 105,047 | G)

Anon 3 said:

Hi there, I’ve been looking for a fic for a while now and was hoping you could help? It has Bucky with the team during AOU and Ultron has Bucky inside the church Steve runs in to get him out but gets stuck in there or something and he ends up with a cute radiation poisoning/sickness. Idk if they were already together or it was build up. Please help it’s been so long I’ll be forever grateful

Anon 4 said:

I have searched for this one all over for the last few hours. Definitely Explicit. I believe it’s set the night before Bucky ships out. Dom Steve, bondage. Pretty sure it takes place on the roof of their Brooklyn apartment? The whole idea was that Bucky just needed to get out of his head on his last night with Steve.

Anon 5 said:

i’m looking for a a fic where steve found a bartender that looks exactly like bucky, who denies being him despite having the metal arm and everything :( i’ve been looking for it forever

Anon 6 said:

I’ve been looking for a fic that I read a while back that at least started pre-war. Steve was working as a seamstress, and maybe at a brothel, and Bucky was giving him lots of flowers. The only other thing I can pull to mind is an engagement spoon. I’ve looked, and I can’t find it. Thank you in advance for whatever you can find, and thank you for the work that you do

Anon 7 said:

Hi! I just wanted to know if you know the fic that was maybe posted on tumblr or aO3 I’m not sure. But it was Steve and Bucky and Steve was asking Bucky about his name and fucking him. when he learns that it’s Bucky he continues Fucking him and then lifts him up and fucks Bucky standing up. I cant find it anywhere.

Anon 8 said:

Ok so i swear im going insane. I 100% know i've rea a fic where the team (or some of the team, cant remember) somehow either goes back in time and are like, invisible or sees steve's memories. The scene/memory they see was pre-serum steve and bucky and they were gonna go on a date or something? And cap-steve was worried bc he hadnt told them about him and bucky being together. Please help? Im quite sure it was on ao3 but i could be wrong

Anon 9 said:

Hello ! I can’t seem to find this fic anymore; it’s where Steve is captain America and he’s kinda like a loner and Bucky (who’s young and he’s modern(?) lives in the apartment above steve and he sneaks into his apartment when he’s not there and then Steve caught him and ends up being a regular thing

stevebuckythyla sent in erupted with rubies by yasgorl (oneshot | 8,009 | E) - underage

Anon 10 said:

Hi!! I'm hoping you guys can help me find a fic. It's canon divergent, so Bucky used to be the WS. He's on a mission with the Avengers, and Steve gets captured by a bad guy. The bad guy has a gun to Steve's head, and he is escaping with him in a truck. Bucky has to shoot the bad guy, in a certain spot, while the truck is driving away, and the whole team tells him it's a great shot. But Bucky panics, and says he wants to retire. This is only one scene, & all I remember. Any help would be great!

Anon 11 said:

Hi!!! Sorry to bother y'all, but I've been looking for this fic forever! All I remember is that Clint and Natasha are getting married and Nat and Bucky are best friends and Steve is Nat's older brother who Bucky always had a crush on and they reconnect at the wedding? Clint pickpockets Bucky at one point and there's also meddling by Natasha involving searching for either a cat or a dog at some point too. I think it opens with Bucky trying to get the dog/cat from out under a couch.

kittenkakt sent in You can't hurry love by obsessivereader (oneshot | 8,547 | E)

Anon 12 said:

There was a fic I read years ago and Bucky was a baker and I think it was pre-serum Steve and I remember bucky making challah and I think maybe it had like a flashback of him learning to make it with his grandmother?? I can’t find it anywhere. Thanks for all y’all do!!

Anon 13 said:

I read a fic where Bucky and Steve were in high school. Bucky and Peggy were friends and Steve was a new student and Peggy introduces Steve to Bucky. Steve thinks that Bucky and Peggy are dating and Bucky smokes a lot. I don’t remember what it’s called, I was hoping you could find it? Thank you

Anon 14 said:

Sorry to bother you guys but I need help finding a fic because I’ve been scouring the tags and everything for daysss but it’s like a hurt/comfort kinda one where tony tells Steve that “everything special about you came out of a bottle” and it makes Steve super upset and Bucky makes him feel better

Anon 15 said:

Hello, I hope you are having a great day! I was wondering if you are able to help me find this fic in which Bucky thinks he has to use sex to get things from Steve? I unfortunately don't remember anything else besides that.

stevebuckythyla sent in Uberrima Fidei by asocialconstruct (oneshot | 3,075 | E) - hydra trash party, rape/non-con, heed the tags!

orchidsrule sent in Skin Trade by Defiler_Wyrm (complete | 10,762 | E) - hydra trash party, rape/non-con, heed the tags!

#group asks

32 notes · View notes

coffee-obsessed-writer · 5 years

Text

When You Least Expect It, Part Seven

Jensen x Musician!Reader; Nathan (OMC); Mama Mia (OFC)

Also featured this chapter: Rob Benedict, Briana Buckmaster, Jason Manns

A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part seven is from BOTH POVs. There is also a playlist to go along with the series.

Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify). Songs in this chapter include: “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”; “What About Love”, “The Joker”; “Whipping Post”

Beta’d by @closetspngirl who has contributed so much to this fic! Thank you for not only indulging my lunacy but encouraging it with gusto! She also put together the amazing wardrobe shown in this chapter, as well. I don’t know what I would do without you!!!

Chapter Summary: Realizing that its time to leave NJ again to get back to work on the festival and have a much-needed conversation with Jensen, Y/N meets up with everyone at ChiCon. This gives finally gives her a moment with Jensen and an added bonus of playing with Louden Swain, featuring Briana Buckmaster, on stage for a crowded ballroom; something that affects Jensen more than he was expecting it too.

Chapter Warnings: Ehhh... nothing really.

WC: 9.5K

*Banner created by me; pics & gifs found online

It had been one month since Y/N left Austin and came back to New Jersey. One month of awkward texts with Jensen related only to work, daily calls or texts from Briana and at least one Skype or FaceTime call from Robbie every few days. When it came to the amount of work and scouting to be done for the festival, the little man was a bundle of nerves and Y/N was the only one who seemed to be able to talk him down.

February came, and that’s when the first real pangs of doubt began to creep in. The life she had begun in Texas was beginning to fade, and she found herself missing it. Y/N missed the townhouse and living so close to a city like Austin with the diversity in the restaurants, the bars, the bands, the nightlife… and of course, there was Jensen. She missed all of it. Not that life in New Jersey had been boring or lackluster. Y/N had gone back to work for Leo temporarily since she was handling both ends of the transactions now for the Brewfest. Being back in her small office in his hotel, living in the bungalow again felt good, but the longer the cold winds of winter at the shore blew through and chilled her to the bone, the more she really missed Austin.

It wasn’t all work, though. She had a couple of occasions to play at one of the bars that were still open in Seaside during the winter, as well as reconnect with a few friends from the Burlesque group. Y/N had even spent some time with Nathan, though when she did, she made sure to keep her guard up, be wary of any promises he made or plans he tried to get her to agree too. Reminiscing with him was a trap that was easier to fall into than she thought it would be, and after the third time they met for coffee, she invited him to go have dinner. Once or twice a week in the time she was home, she would run into him in town, or make plans to hang out. Y/N always tried to keep it in a public place, and never let him get too close. She was doing her best to follow Bri’s advice and figure out what it was she wanted from, not just Nathan, but life itself.

In between all of that, was Jensen. Y/N thought of him every day, and on more than one occasion picked up the phone to actually call him. However, knowing that he was traveling from Vancouver to conventions and back for the foreseeable future, she decided against it. After the way they left things, she thought maybe a random phone call wouldn’t be the best move and wanted to wait until she could see him face to face. When that would be, she didn’t know, but by the time Groundhog Day had rolled around, she felt ready to make it happen soon.

The morning she woke up with the intention to make arrangements to fly back, a winter storm warning had gone into effect, ultimately grounding all flights in or out of the area. Y/N knew the drill and began to run the errands necessary to hunker down for the long haul, getting supplies for two to three days at least. By the time she reached the bungalow and filled the small pellet stove in the corner of the room, the snow had started falling.

As a kid, seeing the beach turn from the beige sand, to white snow had always been sort of magical. Watching the waves crash and spray the icy mist into the swirling flakes made her feel like she was experiencing something majestic, and it always left her feeling a little whimsical and reflective. That’s what she was doing when she heard the knock at the door several hours later, just as the storm was hitting its peak.

Pulling the crocheted blanket around her shoulders, Y/N went to the front door and opened it enough to see who it was.

“Nathan?” she asked, then opened it further and with it came a burst of cold, snowy air. “Come in before the snow does.” She ushered him in and closed the door quickly. “What are you doing here?”

He removed his scarf and hat, shaking off the snow that littered his shoulders and boots. “I came by to make sure you were alright. Didn’t know if you realized that cell service is sketchy, wanted to be sure you had everything you needed.”

“Yeah, I saw the winter storm advisory last night, made sure to hit the market this morning. Don’t tell me you walked all the way here from Seaside Park. That’s a few miles at least.”

“No, I have my dad’s truck,” he said then paused before unzipping his coat. Y/N could see in his eyes he came not just to check up on her, but because he wanted to stay a while.

“I’m fine, Nathan. Just watching the snow, reading and staying warm. I have everything I need.”

“Ok,” he said and half turned back to the door, then faced her again. He wore that crooked grin that she used to love so much. “Well then, maybe you need some company?”

“Sure. But I am going to tell you now, you can’t stay the night. You have to leave before the sun goes down.”

“Of course, Y/N. I just thought we could hang out for a bit.”

“Want some tea?”

“No,” he laughed. “I hate that stuff. I’ll take a soda if you got any, though.”

“Sorry, fresh out,” she said, but there’s water or juice in the fridge.

“Sweet,” he replied as he shrugged off his coat and hung it on the rack, then removed his boots before heading to the refrigerator and helping himself.

Y/N strolled back to the couch and reclaimed her place near the window that overlooked the ocean. She brought her knees up into her chest and watched Nathan as he moved about the kitchen and the living room just as naturally as he did in the old days. When he finally sat, he took the spot on the opposite end of the same couch she was on and rested his arm along the back of it.

Whenever Y/N and Nathan saw each other while she was visiting this time around, things were always awkward in the beginning. It didn’t matter if it was just for coffee, or on the few occasions that she actually let him take her to dinner. It was almost as if neither of them knew what to do with the situation or what to say to one another. But given enough time, they would end up finding a comfortable conversation.

Some of the time she’d watch him as he talked and recognize the man she used to love; same high cheekbones, same crooked smile, and sandy brown hair. Only now, his hair was short instead of the shoulder length it was when they were younger. His sky blue eyes were still able to lock her in and make her wonder how it had all gone so wrong between them. He had been the love of her life, her prince charming, the man who was going to save her from the kind of life that you grew up promising yourself you’d never live. But it had all gone so, so wrong.

She considered asking him, potentially broaching a long overdue conversation that they needed to have; especially if there was any possibility of a future. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to start. She tried to hide the smile that wanted to come when she wondered what Bri would say about that, but it quickly faded when she realized how much she missed Bri, too. That would make her thoughts circle back around to Austin, again, and how much she longed to go back.

“Hey, haven’t seen these in a long time,” he said and leaned forward, and plucked one of the photo albums from underneath the coffee table.

“Oh, yeah…” she replied and craned her neck over to see which one he picked up. They had been there since she showed Jensen the pictures from Grease, which now felt like a million years ago.

“Holy shit, high school pictures,” he laughed and started flipping through the album.

Over the course of the next hour, Y/N sat a foot or two away, yet enjoyed talking about old times with him. It felt good to laugh with Nathan again; it felt good to have her friend back. She didn’t notice that he was inching closer and closer until suddenly the arm that had been draped around the back of the couch was now brushing against her shoulder.

Nathan continued shaking memories loose; he brought up their junior prom, and how they had spent the night on the beach under the Tiki bar, getting drunk and screwing around until dawn before falling asleep together wrapped up in a blanket. She was smiling at the recollection, enjoying the feeling it brought back into her life when she felt his fingers toying with a tuft of her hair.

“I’ve really missed this,” he said softly. “A lot. I’m glad you’ve let me back in and gave me a chance to make it up to you.”

“Nathan, I… I don’t know--”

He inched closer, and what he did next surprised her. Before she could react, Nathan was brushing his lips against hers. Her eyes stayed open, but his drifted closed. It only lasted for a moment, but in that time Y/N realized that she knew everything she needed to know. She didn’t push him away, even though something inside of her told her too. Y/N kissed him back, but timidly, and without passion. His lips parted against hers, making it clear that he wanted it to escalate, but after a moment, Y/N broke away.

She retreated from him and brought her fingers up, pressing them gently to her lips. “Nathan... “

“Don’t, ok? Don’t say it was a mistake. Just, promise me that you won’t shut down on me. If I was being pushy--”

“It’s not that,” Y/N said and swallowed hard. “I care about your recovery, Nate. Seeing how well you’re doing has even allowed me to start forgiving you. But in the spirit of honesty, you should know that I’m not ready to be with you again. I don’t know if I ever will be. That doesn’t mean there is someone else. It means that I am going back to Austin, and I am focusing on work and don’t want anything sort of romantic entanglements.”

“Oh,” he sighed, clearly disappointed. “That doesn’t mean we have to say goodbye though, right? Can I still call you? Keep in touch?”

“Sure,” she said, and genuinely meant it. “As long as you understand, that, for now, I just want to be your friend.”

She watched him process this and had a second where she didn’t know how he would react. He wasn’t the same Nate she knew most of her life, and yet he wasn’t the last version she knew, either. Nathan was turning into a product of both of those men, and she was still learning his mannerisms and couldn’t always tell what he was going to do.

Nathan made it clear he wanted her back, and this rejection could be dangerous if he wasn’t as far into his recovery as he had said. But once his shoulders relaxed, and he picked his head up to meet her gaze, he smiled more like the Nate of long ago.

“Of course, Y/N. I get it. I’m going to keep showing you that you can trust me again though.”

“You just keep doing what’s best for you, Nate. That’s what would make me the happiest.”

Y/N’s cell began ringing in the with the familiar tone of Robbie’s FaceTime calls. She hesitated to answer it, but also didn’t want to miss out on a chance to talk to him knowing there were some meetings coming up they needed to prep for.

“Excuse me,” she said to Nathan and got up from the couch, pulling the cell out of her pocket as she did.

Y/N moved through the room and stood at the precipice of the hallway as she answered the call.

“Hey Robbie, what’s shakin’?” she answered in greeting.

“Thank God you picked up. When are you coming back, lady? I need you in Austin. I won’t be able to get back to there for another week or so. Any chance you’re heading back soon?”

“I’m working on it Robert,” she replied with a sigh. “The damned snow, however, has other plans.”

“Soon-ish, then?”

“Yes, my darling. Soonish. Honestly, as soon as the airports open up, I’m getting a ticket and will be on my way.”

“Did he tell you that the TCAC meeting was pushed back to the end of February?” Robbie asked into the camera, and the concern she saw on his face made her feel guilty.

“No,” she answered softly.

Her disappointment was not lost on Robbie. He hesitated, not wanting to make her feel worse, though he knew Jensen had been avoiding her. He didn’t have all the details about what happened between them but knew enough to know something had. “He’s been crazy busy, you know. Traveling like a lunatic. I’m sure he just forgot.”

“I’m sure,” she agreed and immediately wanted to change the subject. “So, the grant proposals? Any word?”

“Yes! Actually,” Robbie paused, relieved that she was the one to shift gears and shuffled through some papers that were off screen. He held up two and smiled victoriously. “We got two approvals! One from the Austin Creative Alliance and another just came through yesterday from one of the Federal ones. Buuuttt… can’t seem too…” he drifted off to the side, leaning out of the camera frame again.

Y/N chuckled. “Rob, it’s fine, come on back.”

She shifted away from the wall by the hallway and wandered into the kitchen to put the tea kettle back on the stove. As she did, Rob came back into view and noticed Nathan in the background of her call.

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company. I won’t keep ya while I look for it.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah… that’s ok. My friend Nate dropped by to be sure I was stocked up for the storm. He’s leaving soon, so if you need to go over more stuff later, I’ll be here.”

“Oh great. The band and I are going in to talk to a guy about some stuff coming up, so maybe I will give you a call later. This way you can be totally caught up before heading back to Austin. Which reminds me… did you make your travel arrangements yet for Boston or San Diego?”

“Yes. I am heading to Boston, San Diego and Seattle starting end of February through March. Couple days in each to secure all the contracts with the vendors. Oh, New Orleans, too.”

“Perfect. That means you’ll be back and able to head to Chicago with us, right? Same weekend as ChiCon? Thought we could meet up there and go check out a few bands.”

“Works for me,” Y/N said, and then realized that there would be no avoiding Jensen that weekend.

“Fantastic, you’re a gem, you know that?”

“Flattery will get you everywhere Robert.”

“Love it when you call me Robert,” he teased. “Ok, they’re yelling for me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“Bye,” she chuckled and ended the video call. She returned the phone to her pocket and continued to fix herself a cup of tea.

“So, work friend?” Nathan asked, getting up from the couch and heading into the kitchen now that her call was through.

“Yes.”

“Nice guy?”

“Yes, he is.”

Nathan nodded, leaned back against the counter and noticed she had only one cup out. “If you wanted me to go, you could just say so. I mean, you told him I was leaving soon. One cup out…”

Y/N sighed softly and tried to not turn the visit sour. “I thought you hated tea? Besides, it’s getting late. As well as things have been between us, I am not ready for you to stay here. With the weather being what it is, you probably should head back to your mom’s. I’m sure she could use your help with your dad being laid up with his foot in a cast. Can’t be easy for her to manage this weather on her own.”

He nodded, though she could see him straining to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m not trying to shut you out, Nathan. I genuinely have enjoyed hanging out with you again. You know, after all that shit happened--with the fight, and your life spiraling out of control--I never thought you’d be you again. Or that I would even be able to stand to be in the same room as you. But, here we are. Can’t that be enough for now?”

Nathan’s shoulders relaxed. “Don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Not if you want this to continue.” She was blunt, but she needed to be. Y/N didn’t want to take any chances where Nathan was concerned.

“Alright,” he finally replied and pushed off the counter. He went to take his coat off the hook and as he laced his arms through the sleeves, turned to face her again. “I’m grateful you’re giving me another chance, Y/N. I am. So, you call the shots, ok? I know you’re busy, but maybe once your traveling calms down, I can even come to visit you in Austin. Never been to Texas before.”

The idea of him in Austin felt strange. There was a sudden fear that if the two different parts of her life came together like that it would blow up her entire world in some glorious fashion. Trying to neither encourage or discourage the idea of his visit, she simply shrugged, found her most pleasant smile and nodded.

Nathan moved across the kitchen and took her in an embrace before she had the chance to say no. It was a familiar feeling; similar to what one experience when finding an old winter coat they hadn’t worn in years. It may not fit properly anymore, but the quilting of the fabric brought back pleasant memories.

“Call me, ok?” he said before releasing her.

“Sure thing. Take care of yourself, Nate.”

When Nate opened the door to go, the wind whipped through and the day’s fading light allowed him just enough time to get home before going completely dark. When the door latched shut behind him, she felt a mild sense of relief that she was alone again. There were still a lot of things she wanted to have time to mull over before returning to Austin, especially before seeing Jensen again in Chicago. The extended trip home had been good for her, despite the reasons she ended up there. It allowed her time to be sure that Austin and the job were the things she truly loved and wanted in her life.

Even the time she spent with Nate had been helpful in coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t something that had to stand in her way anymore. Her feelings for Jensen were still confusing and muddled, but in her heart, Y/N felt sure that her time as Nate’s girlfriend had come to an end. Though unexpected, the kiss they had shared that night cemented that. She could find room in her heart for him as a friend, but there was no future for them as a couple.

Lost in thoughts, Y/N didn’t move from the counter until the kettle began to whistle behind her. She flipped off the burner, and as she poured the hot water into the cup, she felt determined to settle the Jensen business. With so many of her other uncertainties fading away, she wanted this one too as well. Taking her cell phone back out of her pocket, she went to the contacts in her messaging app and pulled up “Mama”. If anyone could help her sort things out, it would be that tall drink of water.

<<Hey, any chance you’re around once snowmaggedon stops?

It only took about ten seconds for her to respond.

>>I’ve always got time for you, sugar. Whatcha thinkin’?

<<Rehearsal?

>>Cancelled.

<<Damn. Ok, snow should be done by midnight. Coffee at my place in the AM?

>>Be there with bells on.

<<Knowing you, I expect nothing less. Luv u!

>>Back atcha

The following morning dawned bright, with a clear sky and a snowy beach that reflected the colors of sunrise. Mama was knocking on Y/N’s door by quarter past nine, holding a pastry box in one hand and a garment bag in the other.

Y/N opened the door to greet her, and immediately broke out into laughter as she realized that Mama was wearing sleigh bells in her hair.

“You’re a freak,” Y/N laughed and gave the woman a big wet kiss on her cheek. “But you’re my freak.”

“Always and forever,” Mama purred lowly, winking at Y/N as she handed off both the pastry box and bag. “Dear Lord, I have not been here in forever! When was the last time?”

“God… it has to be last spring, maybe. Maybe even Christmas prior.”

“Either way, too long. Though I see you’ve kept the decor fisherman chic. Please, when will you let me redecorate for you?”

“One day, I promise. But for now, I have some things I want to talk to you about.”

Y/N moved around her small kitchen, pouring coffee and unveiling the apple crumb cake Mama brought from Freedman’s Bakery. The smell of apples and cinnamon instantly filled the room and mixed with the aroma of the coffee, Mama began to hum.

“Mmmm MM! It smells good in here. Like a little slice of heaven,” she sighed and pulled out one of the two chairs at the kitchen table. Just as she sat, she gratefully took the hot mug Y/N offered her. “What sort of things do you have on your mind?”

“Well,” Y/N started, then pulled out a seat of her own and began to slice the crumb cake. “I texted you last night because I had something on my mind. However, I couldn’t sleep last night, and I started thinking about work, and had something else entirely to talk to you about.” Y/N was rambling and Mama sensed she was probably already a pot deep into the coffee.

“Honey,” Mama said and covered Y/N’s hands to get them to stop fidgeting with the cake. “Slow down. First things first… what was on your mind last night?”

She hesitated, unsure of how to start. “I didn’t get to tell you because you were in Florida, but I went to a New Year’s party, back in Austin.”

“Ok, sounds fun. Continue,” Mama said and motioned towards her before sipping at her coffee.

“Right. Well, I guess I should start with saying that when I was home for Christmas, Nate showed up here Christmas morning. Then, I went back early so I could go to this party with Jensen. He kissed me at midnight and then I panicked and ran out.”

Mama coughed as she tried to swallow her coffee and then carefully placed the mug back on the table. She grabbed a napkin and wiped at the corners of her mouth like the old southern debutante that she had once been. Once she regained her composure, she sat up straighter and looked Y/N squarely in the eye.

“You best start from the beginning and leave no detail out. Because hearing that you spent an evening with that luscious man is one thing, but also hearing that dickhead’s name in the mix has soured the first bit. Explain yourself, please. What the hell do you mean that Nathan was here on Christmas? Why didn’t you call me?”

“He took me by surprise. He wanted to talk.”

“And you let him in?”

“Yes...” Y/N replied with a sigh, knowing she would get a barrage of crap from Mama for that.

“I’m in shock. After what he did to you!?”

“I know… I just… I don’t know. He wanted to apologize. He’s working the twelve steps--”

“Twelve steps? Ha! Twelve steps…” she muttered. “I didn’t realize you could twelve-step your way out of being a shithead.”

“I know he was terrible then, but for a lot of years he wasn’t and I guess I wanted to know if there was anything good left in him. I saw a glimmer of who he used to be.”

“We need to move on from Nate, cause honey, it just makes my blood boil.”

“Ok, so after he left, I went back to Austin a few days later and went to a party with Jensen. We’ve been getting along great, working together well, and he’s a lot of fun.”

“Yes, he certainly is,” she mused, her expression quickly fading from aggravated to dreamy. “Now I believe you mentioned something about a kiss…”

“He did. WE did… at midnight,” Y/N answered and couldn’t help feeling the twist in her gut that was now associated with that night.

“And?”

“And… it…”

“Y/N?”

She shrugged. “I’ve never felt anything like that. Ever.”

Mama’s face relaxed into a euphoric afterglow. “Please, dear, sweet Lord in Heaven tell me you let that man have his way with you.”

“No!” Y/N laughed and got up from the seat. She was feeling anxious about it all; mostly because she felt so stupid for having run away from him. “It was amazing, and then I got nervous. Someone walked in and it gave me a moment to basically lose my mind and run.”

“You left?!” Mama’s jaw dropped and she quickly stood from the table. “What the--Child, I should whoop your ass. First, you let Nathan in this house, then you run out on that precious Texas boy? It’s like I don’t even know you,” she huffed.

Mama, for a woman of her generous height and weight moved across the kitchen in a heartbeat and lightly smacked the back of Y/N’s head twice.

“One for lettin’ Nathan in, the other for running out on Jensen!”

“Ow,” Y/N whined and rubbed the back of her head. Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Trust me, I wish I knew why I do what I do. One second we were… you know, gettin’ handsy, and the next minute…” she shrugged.

“That son of a bitch Nathan… he was on your mind, wasn’t he?”

“Partially. It was more than that though. I’ve had two relationships in my life, Mama. Two. Nathan, and he who shall not be named.”

“Mmmm, yes. I forgot you had your own Voldemort. But that was what... six months after Nathan left and lasted for less than a month? You can’t count him… especially cause I can’t even remember his name.”

“Whatever, my point is, that both of these relationships were toxic. The last thing I want right now is another go-round with getting my heart broken. I should never have dated after Nathan, so figured I would try a one night stand. It left me so cold and empty. I don’t want that, either. I didn’t want to ruin a good friendship with Jensen, or have it turn toxic.”

“Sug, I get that. But you can’t push your feelings away every time they try and wake you up.”

“Can’t I? I love this job, Mama. I feel like I finally found what I am meant to do. What if we slept together, and it got weird. I wouldn’t be able to work with him. Besides, it’s not even all that happened.”

“What else?” she sighed and rubbed at her temples. “This should have been a Bloody Mary breakfast.”

Y/N ignored her quip. “The next day I told him I wanted to talk. He said he was busy. So I stopped by to drop off some contracts and it turned out he was home. He lied because he didn’t want to talk.”

“That’s why you are back here, instead of living in Austin?”

Y/N nodded and watched with anxiety as Mama seemed to sift through a host of quiet thoughts before deciding how to respond.

“If I didn’t love you as I do... I would smack you again.”

“Why?”

“He lied? So what?! You ran out on him! You know what that’s gonna do to a man’s pride. Hell, anyone’s pride?! Sugar, you… you need to stop lettin’ that heart of yours dictate all your decisions. That man--I spent time with him, ok? I saw how he watched you on that stage. You didn’t. I saw how his face lit up, and that gorgeous grin spread from ear to ear. You mesmerized him.”

Mama took Y/N’s chin between her fingers and lovingly lifted her face so their eyes could meet. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t like that boy.”

“I can’t,” she whispered, almost pathetically. “I do like him. But I’m also very scared of him.”

Mama considered this for a minute and smiled at her friend. “Then, you need to go back to Texas, make amends, and rekindle that friendship you two had been startin’. I think that will be how you stop being so damn scared.”

“I have a flight out tonight,” Y/N said and laughed when Mama raised both fists into the air in celebration.

“That’s my girl!”

“I mean, I won’t see him for a while, but I think you’re right. I owe him an apology. I just hope he can forgive me.”

“I have no doubt that he probably already has. Now, that’s settled… Nat--”

“No. I’ve given him enough thought lately. I’d rather talk about my burst of inspiration that I had last night.”

“Which was?”

“You, the whole troupe… I want you to perform at the festival.”

Mama’s eyes grew large, her plump dimpled cheeks expanding as the smile unfurled across her painted pink lips. “Shut the hell up! Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean… I am still working out all the logistics, but, we have a few stages to fill and I thought who better than to take on one of the theaters for the Saturday night slot? Whatever you guys wanna do… it’s your call. We have a hotel all reserved for talent, so your accommodations are taken care of. And I am sure I could help you with the travel arrangements. I just need you guys to say yes, and you’re in.”

“Well slap my ass and call me Sally!” Mama cackled and smacked her knee; her southern lilt bolder than usual. “You best believe we’ll be there, suga!”

“Fantastic! I will get you all of the details as soon as I get back to Austin.”

“Well now, hold on one second… you know what’s funny,” Mama said and went into the living room to retrieve the garment bag she had brought with her. “I brought this today because I thought you may want it for something. Didn’t know what, but when Marie brought it into rehearsals last I was there, everyone agreed only you would be able to pull this costume off.”

She hung the hanger on the top door of the refrigerator and slowly unzipped the vinyl bag. Y/N softly gasped when she saw the frock Mama had brought her. It was a full-length strapless dress that had a corset top with a heart-shaped bustier with deep purple accents, streaming out into a black skirt that was shorter in the front and flowed out from the back. The skirt itself had black velvet swirls imprinted on the ebony material and heavily ruffled bottom that would give it an amazing look when it twirled.

“Mama…” she breathed and ran her fingers over the dark purple accents. “This is gorgeous.”

“It is. And in the bottom are the accessories. You have to wear this. At least once. And what a better place than at the festival. So, you agree to perform one number with us, then we will be there to fill your stage for an entire night.”

Y/N considered the offer and knew that she had to say yes. She hadn’t gotten to the point where she thought about her part in performing at the festival. Working behind the scenes had completely garnered all her attention, so this was the first time she gave it any real thought.

“Alright,” she said, “you win. I will take this back to Austin with me and put it aside for a night on stage with The Corsets. Do I get to pick the routine, or…?”

“Oh no, honey. I’m the Creative Director now,” Mama pinched her cheek and took her place back at the table. “Now, don’t think I am done talking about this whole Jensen situation. I wanna hear more details about this New Year’s Eve party…” She leaned back and sipped her coffee before taking a large bite of her crumb cake. “You best start talking.”

For the rest of the morning, Y/N caught Mama up on New Year’s Eve, including playing with Bri, hearing Jensen sing, the encounter with Dee all the way up to her moment in the game room. By the time the coffee was gone and the cake was only crumbs, Mama had heard the tale, soup to nuts, and sat there stunned, letting it all sink in.

They talked a while longer before Y/N realized the time and had to get ready to leave for the airport. Mama had hugged her tightly with both a warning and a promise before she left.

“I promise that we will put on one hell of a show for those Texans. But, in the meantime, stop being stupid and go kiss the cute boy. Let him know that you’re all in, even if it is a slow-moving gamble. You’ll regret it if you don’t. You hear? I’ll keep my promise to whoop you when I get to Austin if you don’t. Got it?”

“Yes, Mama,” Y/N laughed and embraced her again before watching her go out into the cold winter air.

Hours later, as she made her way through the airport and onto the plane, she felt good about going back. There were still a few lingering doubts about how she and Jensen would be with seeing each other again, but there was time to work on that. First, she needed to get back to Austin, her new home, and refocus herself completely on making the Brewfest as big, bold and beautiful as Jensen’s vision for it was. Outside of that, everything would just have to wait.

Much like Y/N expected, there wasn’t much of a chance to see Jensen through the rest of February and March. It was disappointing to her, mostly because she was really starting to miss him. His schedule in Vancouver changed last minute, which caused him to have to miss the Texas Creative Arts Council meeting as well as a few others he had intended to be at, in turn dashing her hopes of finally getting to talk face to face. Her own travel schedule picked up, as she zigzagged across the country meeting with business owners, sponsors, and supporters of the Hometown Brewfest extravaganza.

The frequency of text exchanges between them increased, and it gave her a glimmer of hope that they could still work through whatever they needed to. As the weeks carried on, and the dates of ChiCon inched closer, Y/N found herself growing more and more anxious about finally having that moment.

Two weeks before, the whole group was in Nashville for a con, while Y/N was wrapping up some last minute business in New Orleans. She was chatting with Rob about a band she found by happenstance, and during the video call, Jensen passed behind him in the background. Her heart lept up in her throat, though she successfully kept her outward demeanor calm and collected. Y/N watched as Jensen did a double take as he noticed her on the screen of Rob’s phone. Leaning over his friend’s shoulder, he shoved his face in the camera and smiled, gave a simple wave and then was called away before he could actually speak.

It was enough to give her that final boost of confidence that they would be ok, but she still desperately needed to clear the air with him. That, however, wouldn’t happen for another two weeks when she found herself pacing the backstage area of the hotel in Chicago where the stars of Supernatural were gathering in preparation for a weekend full of panels, photo ops and a jam-packed concert with Robbie’s band.

Y/N had arrived that Saturday morning well after the festivities had gotten underway. Bri was the first person who she found and was greeted by an over-exuberant hug and the subsequent barrage of questions about everything under the sun. She was quickly whisked away to her panel with Kim, leaving Y/N holding her credentials and aimlessly wandering around the hotel. That was until she found herself on a mission to finally locate and talk to Jensen.

The extra wide hallway of the hotel outside the green room was carpeted with the ugliest yellow, gold and blue carpeting Y/N had ever seen. Though, as she paced it back and forth, she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. Eventually, she found herself pacing along the blue lines that intertwined between the yellow and gold diamond pattern. As ugly as it was, it was somehow keeping her nerves at bay. She could run into Jensen at any time now, and it took all of her willpower not to just turn and run… again.

She wouldn’t though. Her and Jensen needed to set things straight. She didn’t know if this was the way to do it, or what she would say exactly, but she knew it had to be done. Y/N had gotten a peek at his schedule when she checked in and got her credentials to be able to come and go as she pleased. He would be in the green room now, or at least on his way there. So that’s where she headed.

Y/N stalled once she reached the green room door, deciding that maybe just barging in and demanding he talk to her was a bad idea. That’s when the pacing started again and continued for several minutes. She bit on her lower lip and closed her eyes, hanging her head and trying to decide what to do.

She continued walking, but with her eyes closed, she didn’t realize she was walking off her pattern, and straight into oncoming people.

“Whoa there!”

Y/N looked up, and in horrific slow motion, realized she ran square into Jensen’s chest. His hands had gently grabbed her shoulders when they collided, and they lingered there now as recognition touched his features one by one. Seeing him again after so long felt like a shock to her system; her mouth went dry, and she could feel her hands starting to tremble. When she tried to swallow, it stuck like a lump in her throat cutting off the air to her brain and making her feel light headed.

“H-Hey,” she breathed.

“Robbie said you were gonna be here,” he said, then nervously ran his tongue out and over his bottom lip. “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed, still unsure of what to say. “How’ve you been?” Her words were hesitant and staggered; her gaze unable to break from his.

Jensen finally realized his hands were still on her shoulders and quickly let go.

“Good. Busy, but good. You?”

“Better now that--”

The green room door opened with a bang, startling both Jensen and Y/N. Half a dozen people funneled out, mostly hotel staff, but Robbie was among them.

“Just who I was looking for!” he exclaimed and walked over to them. “You,” he said pointing to Jensen, “have about two minutes before Rich is gonna call you up for your panel with Misha. And you,” he turned to Y/N, “need to come with me while I got a quick ten minutes and figure out where we are going tonight if there’s time. There are a few clubs we gotta hit between tonight and tomorrow.”

“Can you just give us a minute, Rob?” Jensen asked him, and yet, his eyes still didn’t waver from Y/N’s gaze.

“Uh, sure. I’ll be right over there, Y/N.” He looked hesitantly between them, and quietly stepped back and around the corner.

Jensen cleared his throat and turned back to her, unable to disguise just how nervous he was. “About what happened… I wanna, I mean, we should talk, but I do gotta go right now--”

“Right, of course,“ she said, taking a step back from him and suddenly scared to say what she wanted to. “We can do it another time.”

“Later, you’re scouting bands tonight with Rob? Sounds fun. Maybe if you’re not back too late--”

“Mr. Ackles!”

A small blonde haired woman popped her head from around the other end of the hallway and waved frantically for him to come.

“I gotta run,” he said but took a beat to hold her gaze a little longer. It took the impatient little woman at the end of the hallway calling him again, to get his feet moving.

Jensen took a few steps in the direction he had to go, then turned to face her as he walked backward down the corridor. He chuckled nervously and Y/N felt a rush of relief when she realized he seemed truly happy to see her.

“Don’t go far, okay? The panel only lasts about an hour. Maybe we could talk after? I’d really like too--”

“Jensen, please, the panel is starting!” The woman was pleading with him now.

“I’ll be around, Hollywood. Come find me,” she shrugged, trying to be calm, cool and casual. Y/N held back as best she could, but Jensen got the idea that she was happy to see him, too.

“You got it, Trix. I’ll come to find you.” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smirk, and as he continued to walk away from her, Y/N could hear his happy chuckle fade down the hallway. Just before he turned and disappeared completely, he paused and gave Y/N a wink before heading off to his panel.

When he had disappeared around the far corner, she sighed heavily and laughed to herself, completely overcome with relief. A moment later she heard Robbie walk up behind her and clear his throat.

“Everything go ok?” he asked hesitantly.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah,” she said and did her best to stow the overwhelming relief she had over that encounter with Jensen. “I think we’ll be good.”

“Good,” Robbie said and slung his arm over her shoulders. “Now, let’s talk about the weekend, shall we?” He turned her around and guided her in the opposite direction.

The panel, one that he normally loved doing, felt like an eternity on that particular Saturday afternoon. Jensen and Misha answered questions, engaged in their usual banter, and of course, made a room of hundreds of people scream and laugh with delight. He did his best to maintain his normal energetic vibe, but even Misha could see that his mind just wasn’t in the game.

Instead, Jensen’s mind was firmly stuck on Y/N.

She was there, in the same city, in the same hotel just a few hundred feet away. All he wanted to do was go and see her, talk to her, hash this dumb shit out that made them lose three months of getting closer; three months of seeing her smile, hearing her voice and getting to know more about her.

Jensen was pissed at himself for weeks after New Year’s Day. Regardless of whether he had the right to be upset at her or not, he reverted to his petty and childish demeanor, where women were concerned, and he beat himself up for it. His knee jerk reaction to her running out had everything to do with Dee, and not so much Y/N herself. He needed to tell her that’s why he lied about something so stupid to avoid her. Y/N would understand… that’s what made her different.

Y/N had made the effort, hadn’t she? She came to leave the envelope, and in it was her plea to talk to him. She wanted to explain herself, but at that moment he just couldn’t let her. Then she ran back to New Jersey so fast, which initially made him angry. But it didn’t take him long to realize that she’d been through just as much bullshit with her past as he had, and instead of being angry, he should try and sympathize.

Weeks later he happened to talk to Rob who’d mentioned in passing that he had a FaceTime call with Y/N. It had been in the middle of the snowstorm towards the end of January that she told Rob she would be coming back to Austin. That wasn’t all though, was it? As Jensen sat on the panel stage, and half listened to Misha tell a story about his daughter that made the crowd roar with laughter, he was thinking about the guy hanging out with Y/N while she was home; the one Robbie saw in the background that day. As if on cue, he laughed at Misha’s story, joining in with the rest of the ballroom, but on the inside, he was simmering with jealousy.

Jensen wondered if that was the same “old friend” that showed up at her place on Christmas, and of course, couldn’t help but be curious if that guy was part of why she’d run out on him. Swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat, he continued on with his Q&A with the fans and tried to forget it for the time being.

Finally, the panel had come to an end, with it also being their last panel of the day. Misha was escorted to his last set of photo ops, while Jensen was able to head back to the green room, hoping that he would once again bump into Y/N.

The hallway where he had left her was now empty, as was the green room. He considered calling her and asking where she was, but instead texted Rob and asked if they were still together.

<<Hey man, is Y/N still with you?

>>Nah, she went to check a few places out while it was still light out. She’ll be back for SNS.

Jensen sighed and sent back a quick reply, then tucked his phone away and headed back to his own room to get ready for that night’s concert.

Louden Swain took the stage around nine that night. They played through a few of their originals, and then a handful of covers with some of the cast. Jensen knew he’d go up for a couple of songs, but he was holding out until the end so he could catch Y/N.

“Hey handsome,” Bri greeted, coming up alongside where Jensen was sitting, startling him out of his thoughts. “How’d your day go today?”

“Great,” he said with a tired smile. “Long day though. How about you?”

“Oh you know, fantastic. Kim and I kicked ass. Had some great ops… a cocktail or two in between. You know, the usual.”

“That’s my girl,” he teased and then perked up thinking she could help him. “Any chance you’ve seen Y/N around?”

“Yes! Earlier today when she first came in, then about five minutes ago. She’ll be here in a second, why? Got something you need to say to her? Hmmmm?” Bri raised one perfectly manicured brow at him, challenging him to open up a bit more.

“Yes. Actually, I do.”

“Good boy. I know she wants to talk to you too--” From the stage, Bri heard her cue to go up with Robbie for her song. “Look, she’s around. Talk. To. Her. Then, keep her close, I’m gonna need her.” She wiggled her brows and stuck her tongue out playfully before bounding up the short set of steps that would take her backstage.

Jensen chuckled as she disappeared behind the curtain and out to the roar of applause from the crowd. He tried to think of what he would be doing that night with the band. Jason was playing too, and they talked about The Joker and maybe Whipping Post. He closed his eyes and ran through both songs, half hearing Robbie and Bri singing “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” coming from the stage. He certainly didn’t hear Y/N and she came from around the corner and stood in front of him.

“Hey stranger,” she said softly. Despite the music coming from close behind him, he heard her perfectly.

Jensen opened his eyes and thought maybe he was just imagining her there. She looked different than she had earlier. Gone was her T-shirt and ripped jeans, a look that he really loved on her. Now she wore the tight blue jeans and knee-high boots with a black and white, long sleeve peasant-style blouse that was loosely tied at the neck and open enough to accentuate her cleavage. Jensen had a split-second thought about what she had on beneath it before he was able to make himself speak again.

“Hey yourself,” he breathed, standing up from the platform he was sitting on. “How’s your, uh, you know, how’s it--”

“I’m good, Jay. Robbie asked me to come back for the concert. Glad you stuck around. Are you going up there tonight?”

Jensen nodded, suddenly tongue-tied and unsure of what to say.

“They sound great,” Y/N motioned towards the stage and took a few steps closer. “That’s a great song.”

“It is,” he said, but needed to say more and was tired of waiting. “Y/N,” he paused and waited for her to face him. She did, and he could tell she knew what he was about to say. “About New Year’s…”

“Jay, wait. Before you say anything… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for running away like I did. I shouldn’t have--”

“It's okay. I shouldn’t have lied about the stupid movie. It was all so…”

“Stupid?”

“Childish. I guess I could give you a laundry list of reasons--”

“But they wouldn’t matter,” she said quietly and cast her gaze down to her feet. When she looked up at him again, he saw something in her face that made him relax and understand she wanted to move on as badly as he did.

“Yeah. Can we just,” he sighed and shrugged, “just get back to being friends?”

“Yes. I want that, more than anything,” she sighed in relief.

“Good,” he breathed and took a hesitant step closer to her. Y/N stepped in and put her arms around his neck to hug him. Though it took him by surprise, he didn’t waste a second in returning the embrace. She felt so good in his arms as they snaked their way around her waist. It took a lot of willpower on his part to stop himself from nuzzling his face into her neck and drawing in a deep breath of her scent.

From the stage, the music shifted and while the band kept playing, Bri popped her head through the curtain and saw Y/N with Jensen.

“Hate to break up this very much needed moment, but Y/N, I need you up here please.”

Jensen reluctantly released her and saw the scheming look in Briana’s eyes. He narrowed his gaze at her, and she just slyly winked. “Come on slowpoke! They’re waiting.”

“Who’s waiting?” she asked, looking curiously between Jensen and Bri.

“Everyone…” Bri replied and swept back the curtain so Y/N could see the audience.

“What? Oh no, I didn’t--I’m not--”

“You are, and you can. Come on, lady! Time to get your cute little ass up here and sing on stage with me and Robbie.”

Y/N looked to Jensen to save her, but he just shook his head. “Oh no, I’m with Bri on this one. Like I’d ever pass up a chance to watch you on stage.”

Realizing she was being ganged up on, Y/N sighed as her chin fell to her chest in defeat and she made her way up the small set of stairs. “I hate you both,” she chided and both Bri and Jensen rolled their eyes.

Jensen watched from backstage as she got up next to Robbie who was on the mic and introduced Y/N to the crowd. When he spoke about the Brewfest the crowd cheered, and it was the first time Jensen understood just how much work she’d been putting into it, not just into organizing things, but getting the word out to the public about the upcoming event.

Robbie leaned over and whispered something in her ear, Y/N nodded and faced the crowd, giving them a wave. Jensen saw how they seemed to love her already and they hadn’t even heard her sing yet. Robbie faced the band and signaled the next song as the familiar beat of Heart’s “What About Love” kicked in.

Y/N started to sing, and Jensen felt his knees go weak. It had been a while, too long he would say if someone had asked him since he had heard her sing. She fell right into the groove with the band, completely unaware of how sexy and majestic she was on the stage. Bri was beside her, sharing the verses and singing harmonies together. They blended effortlessly with Robbie’s voice, too. Y/N held the notes and used her strong bravado to carry them out, once again making the crowd go wild.

Hints of jealousy filled Jensen, but not because of the reaction she was garnering, but because he wasn’t on stage next to her. How could he have not sung with her yet? At least strummed a guitar while she sat across from him, her tender pitch humming along with whatever he was playing. It suddenly became of utmost importance to him to share a stage with her, but for now, he just hung back and relished in the way her voice made him feel. Anyone that saw him watching her would know that he was so clearly infatuated with this girl, and almost nothing would have pulled him away.

As the song wound towards the end, Jason breezed past Jensen, smacking his shoulder along the way.

“Almost ready, brother? Gonna kick it off with ‘The Joker’, right?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! Just like we said, call me in when you’re ready.”

“You got it!” Jason replied before running out on the stage.

Jason handled the first chorus, and during the musical interlude, he brought Jensen up and he easily slipped into the version of himself he brought out on the Saturday Night Specials. He noticed that Briana and Y/N were still up there, yet off towards stage right, and singing along with the chorus of the song. Jensen casually strolled in their direction, just feeling the need to be as close to Y/N as possible. The moment the music came back around to where he picked up the song, happened to be the same moment that Jensen walked around behind her, then was at her side. Without giving it a second thought, he draped his arm around her shoulders and sang the lines directly to her… their eyes locked as if he was speaking solely to Y/N and not to a room of hundreds of people.

“You’re the cutest thing I ever did see…

Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree

Lovey-dovey lovey-dovey lovey-dovey all the time...

Oooey baby I sure show you a good time…”

The song played on, and eventually, he moved back across the stage and sang out to the crowd. But the expression that came to rest on her face was not something he would ever forget. He caught glimpses of her smiling as her eyes followed across the stage. He liked how it felt for her to watch him; he felt uninhibited and free to be himself.

When it was over, he was disappointed as Bri grabbed Y/N’s hand now that their turn on stage was done. They waved to the audience and the band transitioned into “Whipping Post” while they exited through the back.

As Jensen belted out line after line of The Allman Brothers song, he wished Y/N had stayed out there with them and secretly hoped she was watching from backstage. Thank God he was singing a song he knew without having to think about because all his mind could really focus on was how good it felt to have her back around. At that moment, Jensen had felt better than he had in a very long time.

If you want to be removed from the list, just drop me an ask or DM. If you want to be added to any of the tag groups below, asks are open!

Everything Tags: @kazosa // @sorenmarie87 // @lefthologramdeer // @his-paradox // @letsby // @thefaithfulwriter

SUPERNATURAL TAGS: @wings-of-a-raven // @negans-wife // @mrsbarnes-rogers // @teller258316 // @spnhollis // @sweet-things-4-life // @hobby27 // @sweetlythoughtfulbird // @theoriginalvicki // @dreamchester67 // @xxwarhawk // @babykalika2001 // @superwhovianfangirl81 // @toobusynerdfighting // @missihart23 // @crowleysreigningqueenofhell // @idreamofplaid // @thewinchesterchronicles // @wayward-gypsy // @closetspngirl // @fatestemptress // @rebelminxy // @22sarah08 // @witch-of-letters// @cole-winchester // @rainflowermoon // @adoptdontshoppets // @waywardvalkyrie // @fandomoniumflurry // @gnrfanfic // @blackcherrywhiskey // @jessieray98 // @lyoly // @a–1–1–3 // @31shadesofbrown // @whereismyangel-damnitdeanshare // @pilaxia // @screechingartisancashbailiff // @kgbrenner // @holylulusworld // @deansenwackles // @jamielea81 // @coffeebooksandfandom // @logical-princey // @gemini0410 // @salt-n-burn-em-all // @collette04 // @mrswhozeewhatsis // @deathofmissjackson // @lauravic // @akshi8278 // @katehuntington

When You Least Expect It: @winchest09 // @jerkbitchidjitassbutt // @aomi-nabi // @luciathewinchestergirl // @alexisxwinchester // @moonxdance // @seppys-return-to-madness // @donnaintx // @deans-baby-momma // @the-is13

#jensen ackles rpf #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x reader insert #jensen ackles fanfics #when you least expect it

155 notes · View notes

allaboutthebooz · 5 years

Text

Read with Boozy

Since this will be the first list made, I thought I would list some of my favorites that I’ve read and reread or am currently reading and am SO in love with. There will be multiple fics from the same writers because I can’t choose just one to add to the first list! I’m sure many of you have read a lot of these, but I want to tell you want I think about each and every one of them, because they make me feel all the feels!

I am terrible when it comes to reblogs and comments, but I will be making more of an effort to do that, starting with going back and leaving what I think about everyone on this list. I am sorry if you are on this list, and I have never said a word about how I feel about your writing. I’m terribly shy and still getting my barrings with being open on here. I am finishing this list as I’m currently battling my low blood sugar, so if my phrasing or anything seems off, you know why. It’s a losing battle right now.

@shreddedparchment

Her three-part serious (which she just announced that there will be a fourth part coming soon) Ashes to Ashes Universe seriously has me on the edge of my seat. I literally squeal when I see that a new part has been posted. Though I love ALL of her work, this series is my favorite. Definitely a must read, but not just this. ALL OF IT! SAVE HER MASTERLIST, read everything, and let’s talk!

You’re My Mission- This is a Bucky x Reader fic and if the first of the series. This is about a woman who lost her parents when a group called the Shadow came after them. She is saved by Captain America and brought to Bucky in Wakanda, where she is to train to become a soldier. They butt heads for so long, until one day everything just clicks, and their eyes are opened to what’s right in front of them. It literally had me shaking my phone and screaming at them to stop acting like the idiots that they are. The best opener to this series.

The End of the World- A Thor x Reader fic. The Snap has happened, and the world is scrambling to get their bearings. The reader’s friends and family have been completely wiped from the universe and she discovers them when she comes home. She isn’t there long before Thor shows up. She and Thor used to be together, until he left and was with Jane. They reconnect after he whisks her away from everything, but it doesn’t end in happily ever after. There is a constant struggle between the two. Many tears were shed while reading this. I loved their love, but I was so happy when they figured their shit out. Until….

Parallel- Steve x Reader fic. This reader is the same reader from ‘The End of the World’ and she has been through so much. She wakes up in Australia to find everything that she knew to be gone. She runs to Norway in hopes to find Thor but sees that he has taken another as his bride. Heartbroken, she flees to the US to find the others. No one knows who she is, besides Tony and it’s a long journey to get them to trust and maybe even remember her….Let me tell you something. I FUCKING LOVE THIS FIC! I have loved the other parts, but this one is my absolute favorite! I love the love that flows within this story. You can literally FEEL the pain that the reader goes through every. single. day. This is currently on hold because the writer was waiting for Endgame to come because the next parts will have a lot of what happens in it. (Thank goodness I am seeing it this week) I have reread every single part many times and I still feel the exact same way, every time. I can’t wait for this to continue. I love it so much.

My girl @fangirlinsweden

Promises- Steve x reader. The reader and Steve are best friends and so completely in love with each other, but neither of know it. The reader always keeps her promises because of certain events that happened in her past. So, when Steve asks her to save him the first dance at an event they are attending, she makes a promise. Steve wanted to tell the reader how he feels that night but wasn’t sure if she feels the same way, so big-headed Bucky tells him to try and make her jealous and see how she reacts. Everything blows up in his face and he is paying for it, in a big way. This is the writer’s second fic that she is currently writing and it’s so good. She has me so invested in what happens next. Her mood boards that go along with it, are so nice and clean and fit with the storyline so well. I can’t wait to see. What happens next.

@all1e23

Heart & Soul- This is a Bucky x Reader (a/b/o) series. Our gentle Omega has been put through the ringer and is having a hard time trusting Alpha’s thanks to her ex-boyfriend Brock. She’s in hiding from him, being sheltered by her best friend Wanda and the police, most of which are Alphas. She learns quick though that she can trust Tony and Steve and eventually Bucky. This had my emotions all over the place. It was definitely one of those ‘one step forward, twenty steps back’ fics and it was amazing! Definitely on that I will be rereading in the future. I love how protective they all were of the Omega reader and how they were all ready to lay their lives on the line for her. Beautifully written.

Swallows- Another Bucky x Reader (MC AU) fic, minus the A/B/O aspect. What girl doesn’t love a guy with a motorcycle. Bucky and the reader were high school sweethearts. Moths to a flame, but also fire and gasoline. They fit so well together but caused so much destruction within their relationship. The reader leaves town after they break up and is finally back after a few years. She tries her hardest not to fall back into the arms of the blue-eyed man that she fell in love with all those years ago. She learns the truth of what happened the night they broke up and it makes her question everything around her. You can feel the strain between her and Bucky and also her and Steve, because he’s the one who told her to leave in the first place. Clint plays big brother but feels himself being torn between the MC and the reader. This is such a great read! It’s only got five parts, but I gasp and reach for my inhaler when a new part is posted. I can’t wait to see what happens. I hope everything falls into place and I’m not left lying in a puddle of my own tears when it’s over.

@bamby0304

Just……All of it. Ever last bit of it. Every single thing. BINGE HER MASTERLIST! But I will say that my favorites that she is currently writing are:

Her Saviours- A/B/O Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader, John x Reader. If this isn’t you’re thing, that is completely fine, but let me just say something before you scroll past this. It is most Dean x Reader currently, as she is still writing the series. It is so beautifully written. The Winchesters find the reader in a similar situation as Alex, before Sam goes off to Stanford. It picks up, not long before Dean steals Sam from Stanford and follows season one. The reader has finally become of age to be claimed by her Alpha’s, but they refuse, and she can’t seem to understand why. Though Dean loves her, he still finds comfort in others that aren’t the Omega waiting up for him and it starts to wear on her. Sam is still reeling from losing Jess but is starting to warm back up to the Omega. Reconnecting after being apart for so long. This is such a great fic and I can’t wait to read more. The feelings are all there and I don’t think I’ve ever clenched my jaw so hard.

Spanner in the Works- Sam x Reader AU. The reader breaks down in a small town and who comes to the rescue? Sam Winchester with his tow truck to take her car back to his family’s shop and he offers her a place to stay with his family. The two grow closer as she waits for her car to get fixed. I’m behind on reading this and will reread different parts. This is definitely an AU because of how different the Winchesters act compared to the show. They’re so understanding and try their absolute best to not make the reader feel uncomfortable. Definitely one that I will be reading for years to come. Or at least until it’s taken down.

@kittenofdoomage

Again. Just….GO READ EVERYTHING! There are far too many of my favorites to list. I love EVERYTHING that she has written and though I’ve never told her personally, she is what I aspire to be when it comes to writing. I’m bad at reblogging stuff or even leaving comments. I am usually reading everything when I’m putting my son down for bed, so it’s hard to do so. I will be going back through and reblogging everything and leaving comments, though!

@itsanerdlife

I love her different MC series that she has written. They’re all so great and make me so happy. I haven’t read the rest of her work, but I will get there soon. I’m rereading a lot of stuff that she has written. The first that I read was ‘Captivated’ Eggsy x Reader. It opened me up to the MC world and I can’t thank her enough.

@impala-dreamer

Escape- Sam x Reader, but there are bits with Dean x Reader. The reader and Dean are abducted after a night of drinking and wake up in a maze full of different creatures and horrors around every corner. Sam is doing everything that he can to find them and he’s trying hard not to break. This is definitely a dark fic and there may be triggers for some. I LOVED this! My stomach was in knots the entire time that I read it and I will be rereading it and reblogging everything!

Definitely check out her masterlist because she has so much to read, but this is my absolute favorite!

@huntertales

She has been working on a series rewrite. She is up to season eight of Supernatural and it’s AMAZING!!! She is the reason why ‘Without Me’ will become a series rewrite. The way that she got everything to fit just right, makes you feel like it actually happened in the show. I love it and I love the story that she has woven within the script. It’s amazing!

Alright. I think considering that I currently have three full pages in my Word, this this a good place to stop! I am finding new things to read all the time. I will be adding another list as a part two and they will have some of my absolute favorite oneshots. I hope you all love this fics as much as I do because they ALWAYS make my day so much better.

#fic rec #read with me #read with boozy #supernatural #supernatural series #marvel #marvel series

51 notes · View notes

alekakers · 5 years

Text

The Story So Far (or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Existential Dread)

- 32-

When I was a kid I thought of thirty-two as this incredibly significant age. For whatever reason I viewed it as the epitome of reaching adulthood. Of course as a child I thought of everyone older than me as an adult. You know that weird skewed perspective thing, when you recall memories from childhood and even high school kids looked like grown ups. But in my head thirty-two was a mythical age that solidified your status as an adult. An age that once reached meant you were no longer a young man/woman, but a full fledged adult-y adult.

Now as I sit here looking back on thirty-two years of life I can say I had no idea how my perspective on age and life would change over the next couple decades. But in some strange way I wasn’t completely wrong either. I had wanted to do this kinda thing when I turned 30 but that was a chaotic time so I never got around to it. So now with two more years behind me, here is a reflection on a simple life and what I’ve learned from it. Let’s start at the beginning...

- Born On The Bayou -

I was born in the early afternoon in Nassau Bay, Texas. I grew up on the same 25 acre ranch my mom was raised on. 30 minutes outside of Houston, 20 minutes from the Gulf of Mexico, and 10 minutes from the Johnson NASA Space Center where my grandparents were instrumental in the Apollo and space shuttle programs. My grandfather was an Oklahoma farm boy that crossed the Mississippi in a covered wagon who ended up putting men on the moon. My grandmother came from New England and was breaking ground in the country’s fledgling space program when she fell in love with a cowboy rocket scientist and brought my mom into the world. Unfortunately they died when my mom was in college. I wish I could have met them.

My dad grew up in a sleepy suburb outside Portland, Oregon. His mother was an eccentric, loving, and strong-willed woman. It was her grandfather, Aleksander Justice, that I’m named after. A wolgadeutsche immigrant, he moved to America to start a new life for himself and his family. My grandmother was harshly old-fashioned to say the least, but she loved me and my sister with all her heart and was in our lives more than any other extended family member. Her passing a few years ago wrecked me more than I thought it would.

My father’s father was an orphan adopted and raised by his Uncle. As an angsty youth he enlisted in the navy to avoid jail time, served as a frogman in Vietnam, worked as a motorcycle cop for decades to support three kids, helped raise my cousin after my aunt got divorced, and was a volunteer firefighter and loving grandfather and great grandfather when he passed a couple years back. He was and will always be the prime example of the man I judge myself against. I miss him a lot.

- Beans and Cornbread -

My parents met in college and were soon after married and the proud parent’s of a baby boy. My dad was serving in the navy when both I and then my sister, Erin, were born. After his tour of duty my parents moved to the property in Texas that was left to my mom and my uncle. Despite being crazy young, dirt poor, and perhaps in retrospect being wildly unprepared to raise a family, my parents managed to keep us fed and clothed and sheltered. Most importantly they instilled in us the values and morals I still hold dear. Treat others with kindness. Be grateful for what you have. Work hard, try your best, and never give up no matter what life throws at you. In some ways I’m grateful for my modest upbringing and the appreciation it gave me for the little things in life.

Even though my friends lived in nice suburbs while I lived in a run down ranch house, even though they had nintendos and nerf guns while I had cheap plastic toys, even though we ate on a shoe string budget and couldn’t go on fancy vacations, even through the emotional trauma of it all, I still look back on my childhood fondly. I am eternally grateful for those years. Wandering around the pasture. Erin and I letting our imaginations run wild. Going to cub scouts every week. Making our own fun roaming around the church after hours while our mom was there to do whatever she was there to do. My parents scraping every penny to make holidays and birthdays special. I wouldn’t trade all the dinners of beans and cornbread for anything else. I’ll always be a humble country boy at heart.

- Misty Mountain Hop -

Three months after my 11th birthday we packed up the house, loaded the moving truck, and drove half way across the country to start a new life in Washington. My dad had been unemployed for a while and ended up finding a job with the boy scouts in Everett. It would give our family a modicum of economic security and put us closer to my dad’s family in Oregon. It was a jolting transition to say the least. Shortly after we moved puberty hit like a ton of bricks. My early childhood was firmly left in Texas and my teenage years made their angsty debut in Washington.

We moved into a quiet suburb 30 minutes north of Seattle and for the first time our family had a level of comfort we had never had. We could afford name brand cereal! But simultaneously my father’s anger issues were coming to a boiling point. Also my sister and I were diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. It was a very tumultuous time. My defense mechanism was to retreat, and I became terribly introverted and detached, retreating into music and video games. My sister went the opposite direction and became a loud, boisterous spit-fire, finding herself at home in the world of theater. I think we both already had the predilections for these respective personality traits, but the dissonance in the family only exaggerated them.

After a few years we moved into another house around the block. It was around this time that my father’s temper finally became too much and he started seeking help to work through some things. It took some time but I can’t stress enough how much of a different person he was after that. Night and day. I was in high school at this point and it was also around this time that I started to become disillusioned with the status quo of society. The modern school system seemed pointless, I started smoking weed, and music became the end all be all of my existence. It still is. Music is life! I dropped out of high school and decided to live the life I wanted to live.

Throughout my teenage years I played in different bands, experimented with all kinds of drugs, met and broke up with my first true love, entered the work force, and started the slow painful transition from adolescence to adulthood. It was a wild time! While part of me wishes I had stuck out high school, I have never regretted the choices I made. I saw that so much of the reality around me was a construct of our culture and I sought to push the boundaries of that reality. And I’m glad I did. I learned lessons the hard way, on my terms. I saw past so many lies and illusions and fallacies of how we’re expected to live our lives and perceive the world. I created my own world of truths and morals instead of blindly accepting the ones being pushed on me. It was an incredibly eye-opening and freeing time in my life and I credit those experiences for a lot of the wisdom and knowledge that I’ve absorbed.

*Disclaimer: I am grateful that I came out of that time in my life relatively unscathed. I know/knew many people that couldn’t claim themselves so lucky. It takes an incredibly strong will to toe the line and step back without going over the edge. Even though I wouldn’t change a moment of it, I wouldn’t recommend the life I led to anyone.

- Retreat and Rebirth -

After the last band I was in during those days broke up, our collective friend groups started to dissipate. As the realities of adult life started to pull from different directions most people rose to the occasion. I did not. Burnt out from the crazy ride and being overwhelmed by life I retreated to a world of isolation. A little solitude is healthy. I consider myself an outgoing introvert (A term a like a lot). But I took it too far. Unemployed for three years. Letting many friendships dwindle and slip away. Spending my days doing nothing but smoking weed and playing video games. It was unhealthy and I didn’t know how to change. Then the universe decided it was time. Just after my 22nd birthday I finally cut ties with a very close but deceptively toxic friend. After smoking half a pack a day since I was 16 I decided to quit. And I decided to take a break from smoking weed. Then to top it all off my childhood dog that I had had for 14 years died. To this day that remains the most transformational time in my life.

I spent that spring and summer reconnecting with myself and what was important in life. Taking care of my diabetes. Eating healthier. Gardening. I leaned into making mixtapes like never before. It is still my main hobby. Musica es vida! I had what I can only describe as a spiritual awaking. Come fall I was smoking weed again but with a renewed respect for the plant. I had a job doing something I had unexpectedly developed a passion for, cooking. And I found myself coming out of my social isolation. It was like I ended a three year hiatus from the world. I still think of my life in terms of before that time and after.

Then three years after I hit the reset button on life I was ready for another change. I was 25 and the inexorable march of time wasn’t stopping. So I finally moved out of my parent’s house. No shame! Science says that adolescence in modern humans lasts into our early twenties. And I was definitely still weening out of my teenage years at that age and was lucky to have such amazing supportive parents. It wasn’t until 24/25 that the existential dread of life started to set in and I thought, shit I gotta get outta here. December 2012, the apocalypse didn’t happen, and I moved in with my sister in downtown Seattle. She herself had spent the last few years overcoming her own traumas and wrestling with her own demons, and she helped me step even further outside my comfort zone into the greater world. I am so grateful for the two years we got to live together as fledgling adults.

- She Saved Me -

Just shy of a year living among the sights and sounds of the city, I found myself falling into a dangerous rut. I had been at the same job for three years. Commuting between the suburbs and downtown. Six years since my last relationship. Not much of a social life. And finding escape from the dull routine at the bottom of a bottle. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Get drunk and high and play video games or watch tv. Rinse, repeat. I suddenly found myself back where I was. And again I didn’t know how to break the cycle. Then I met the one person that would change my life in ways I never could have expected. The one person that would rock my world, wake me up to the true possibilities of existence, and become the one person that I could truly never live without.

One fall day I walk into work to see a new face. Olivia was her name. Damn she’s cute, I thought. And I quickly became enamored with her personality. But it would take 6 months of quietly pining for her before I had the courage to try my hand. Then on a fateful day in May we spent a whole day together. Then a whole week together. Then the summer that would change my life forever. We fell madly in love. I stopped drinking like a horse. My heart was opened to another for the first time in many many years. My mind was awakened by a mind I so closely related to. My body was refreshed by the passion I had been so long without. It was another rebirth of the soul, the kind that shook me to my very core. I had almost resigned myself to being alone forever, working a dead end job and drinking the nights away. Then she saved me. She remains my best friend, my rock, and my favorite person in the whole world.

- My Place -

Invigorated and encouraged, I found a new job. A slight step up in the culinary sense. Challenging yet rewarding. Olivia moved in with us. Then a few months later we got our own place in north Seattle. Shortly after we got a pupper. It was an incredible time. Feeling truly independent and self-supportive for the first time. Developing an amazing relationship with the person that I quickly realized I could spent the rest of my life with. This was the first time in my life I could attest to feeling the slightest bit like an adult. Of course I had realized long ago that you never really feel like an adult. You don’t just wake up one day like a switch was flipped and go, oh I’ve got it now. Life is a constant journey of growth and learning. We’re all just faking it till we make it.

But this was the first time in my life where I felt like, ah okay this is it, this is life, this is being an adult. Waking up every day, doing your best to navigate life, and constantly trying to figure out what it means to be you, what's important to you. Then life set up to deliver another wave of challenges to overcome. It was around this time that my family experienced a huge upheaval. We almost lost someone very close to us and it rattled me to my core. Then my boss was involved in a car accident and as his assistant I was suddenly interim kitchen manager. A couple months later the owner was impressed enough to make it official and I toke my first salaried job.

I relished the opportunity and strove to run that kitchen the absolute best I could. I went above and beyond. I poured everything I had into it. I learned so much about the restaurant game, management, cooking, and above all about myself. It was an intense period of personal growth. At the same I was coming into my own as a leader and a cook, I was also dealing with multiple family tragedies. And as much as I loved the work, the restaurant, and the owners, the stress of the job started taking its toll. Salary is a double edged sword in any industry, but especially in food service. If you know you know. I was doing my best to soldier on but I got to a point where enough was enough. I had come into some money and decided to take some time off. I left on good terms and will never forget the lessons I learned and the people I met.

- Intermission -

I had just turned 30. I had spent the last two years running myself ragged as the kitchen manager of a bustling Seattle restaurant. I put my blood, sweat and tears into that place. It was time for a break. I invested most of the money I inherited, and then set enough aside to to take some time to live life again. I rested. I remembered how to not be anxious every waking moment. Olivia and I went on a cross country road trip to see the national parks and visit my home town in Texas. I proposed. She said yes! It was so incredibly cathartic and needed. I am still grateful I had the opportunity to take the time I needed to reset.

Later that year it was time to go back to work. I ended up back at the little place in the burbs where I started my journey. I was happy to take the lessons I learned and come back as kitchen manager. It was just what I needed to ease back into the industry. The perfect place to put into practice my new found appreciation for work life balance. Meant to be a temporary step, as soon as I did all I was able to do to help them right the ship, it was time to move on. My father in law put me in touch with the chef he worked with and he brought me on board. It was a significant step up in the culinary scene, and I’ve been tapped to take over for the sous chef.

- And Now For Something Completely Different -

Now here I am. 32 years old. That mythical age I held in random esteem when I was a kid. Looking back on my life and thinking about what I’ve learned along the way. Even though I still struggle with my less savory qualities - I fear change and the unknown. I’m scared of success. I suffer from impostor syndrome and doubt my own strengths. I avoid confrontation. - I’m working on it. For the most part I love who I am. I’m proud of the person I’ve become. But it took a time. And work. I made peace with childhood traumas. I fought through pain, did some serious introspection and soul-searching, and came out the other side a better person for it. I looked inside myself to find the strength to overcome my demons. I think it’s inside all of us. Some people attribute it to a higher power. Some people find peace and comfort in the company of others. Whatever it takes, we’re all capable of making changes for the better.

If there is one thing life has taught me it’s that we are never done learning. We never stop growing. We never “figure it out”. We’re constantly being tested by the realities of life and doing our best to rise to the occasion. At 32 I may be an adult by most standards, but I’m still sorting out what that even means, what my purpose in life is, and waking up every day just trying to be the best me I can be. That’s life. And I’m grateful for the safety and security that gives me the luxury of musing on such ephemeral topics. I’m grateful for every day I wake up and get another whack at this crazy thing called living. I’m grateful I got to exist at all. I don’t spend much time these days waxing on the countless possibilities of the what’s and why’s of reality. At the end of day it’s a mute point. My consciousness still inhabits this physical body in this physical realm, and if I wanna keep seeing how far I can take it I have to play by its rules. Even if I occasionally see how far I can bend them. Whatever comes next, whatever is beyond the great void, my reality exists in the here and now. I’ve come to terms (for the most part;) with my mortality and the existential dread. It reminds me that its up to myself to find purpose in life. So I try to live in the present, to work on my shortcomings, make the best of every day, and treat others how I would want to be treated.

As I stare down the barrel of the “best years” of my life, I am hopeful and optimistic about the future. If not for the world at large (jury’s still out on that one) than at least for my ability to navigate it and make the best of it for myself and others. I'm engaged to my best friend, I'm in a kick ass band making music with some of my oldest friends, and I've got a job that I'm incredibly excited about. Lao Tzu said, “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future.” Wise words. But at the same time I think its important to remember where we came from and retain the lessons we’ve learned along the way. As well as looking to the future so that we may live with purpose. I think living is a delicate balance of keeping in mind all that was, all that is, and all that may be. And we’re all just doing our best to find the balance. Do whatever makes you happy as long as it doesn’t hurt others. Try to leave the world a better place for those that come after. Be nice and work hard. Love yourself so that you can love others. Namaste!

- Alek

TL;DR - I just turned 32. Life is crazy. Be nice and work hard. Love yourself and love others. Do your best. Namaste!

3 notes · View notes

obscurehistoricalinterests · 5 years

Text

P.J. Ransone on finding himself through Generation Kill

Twenty-seven is a strange age in the most Joseph Campbell sense of the number, especially for the male persuasion. It is the time when you realize you’re not 20 anymore, that whatever clever antics you may have done at a younger age now make you cringe. You’re also coming up hard on 30 and I think you start to evaluate the path that you’re on. Twenty-seven is the age when rock stars die and become legends, but to me it marked the death of my youth, when my past caught up with me and punched me in the head.

I weighed 115 pounds, was about 30 grand in debt and had developed a pretty healthy heroin habit. I had a few accomplishments under my belt as far as my career was concerned: I had been in some successful movies and television shows, and a few almost-successful rock bands. I was “cool” (in my mind at least) to a handful of downtown Manhattan degenerates. Things got so out of control in my head, that at one point I remember being offended when my agency would send me scripts for roles as “the junkie.” Looking back, I was far from the person I wanted to be. I was quickly on my way to being a 30-year-old adolescent. Twenty-seven changed that.

I was involved in a five-year relationship with a wonderful woman who I loved very much. It had run its course. Or to put it more succinctly: she got fed up with my bullshit and finally decided to leave. Let’s face it — junkies don’t tend to make the best boyfriends.

This set off a chain of events that led me to sober up and step up to the table as far as being a man was concerned. There were a lot of things going on inside me that I hadn’t faced, or at the very least, refused to acknowledge for a long time. There were a lot of hard corners in me that needed to be softened. I had no idea what the results were going to be as far as taking some responsibility for my past, but the outcome has been pretty remarkable.

It’s funny what happens to you when you decide — or are forced to decide — to make positive changes for yourself, because in my experience it starts a nuclear chain reaction. Change is painful no matter what form it takes. I’ve learned that the only constant in this weird life is, in fact, change. If I’m not going through it, something is wrong.

I feel like I evolved into the human being I had hoped to become while living in Africa working on a miniseries for HBO called Generation Kill, based on the book by the same name written by Evan Wright about his time embedded with a battalion of reconnaissance Marines during the initial six weeks of the invasion of Iraq. The book is basically an apolitical, true-life account of what it’s like to be on the ground as an enlisted serviceman in modern warfare. Ostensibly, it’s a road-trip story. Writers David Simon and Ed Burns adapted the screenplays with Wright, and I had worked with the pair previously on HBO’s The Wire. When I arrived in Namibia — where I was to live for seven months while filming the show — I had no idea what to expect. I had landed the part of Cpl. Ray Person, the sped-up Marine who drove the point Humvee in Iraq in March of 2003. The role itself was much bigger than I had anticipated. The amount of work cut out for me had yet to sink in.

The day I turned 28, I was participating in a simulated night mission that marked the end of a boot camp that all the actors were required to participate in before we began filming. It was kind of unreal how much had changed in a year. Part of the catalyst for growth was the job itself, but much of the credit can go to the people with whom I got to share the experience. During this time, I became acquainted with two guys who changed my life.

Eric Kocher and Jeff Carizales are two Marines who fought together in OIF1 (Operation Iraqi Freedom). They had been brought to Africa to be military accuracy advisers during production, and their input was instrumental to the credibility of the show. Not only are they Marines, but they are two of the actual guys about whom Evan Wright wrote in his book. So here are these two dudes, reliving the drama of their lives, watching actors interpret their stories so that they are portrayed as accurately as possible. I think the word “trippy” comes to mind. I had no idea that I was going to end up loving these guys as much as I do.

Eric Kocher is imposing in the most terrifying sense. Imagine a shorter version of the Incredible Hulk with Tom Selleck’s face and a brain filled with an encyclopedic knowledge of military history and modern warfare tactics. By age 28, he had served in the Marine Corps for close to 10 years and done more than five combat tours in both Iraq and Afghanistan. While on a combat mission in Iraq, his Humvee was hit by a rocket- propelled grenade that nearly blew his arm off. Another member of his team, who was in the back of the truck, lost both of his hands in this same attack. Later, he would tell me that he himself pulled out the pins that had been surgically implanted in his hands so that he could get back to combat sooner. When people ask about the insane scar on his right arm he usually tells them it’s from an old “skateboardin’ accident.” He is one of the funniest people I know. For as intense as his appearance is, he’s one of the most loyal and kind-hearted human beings I have ever met.

The other Marine I befriended was Jeff Carizales. He drove the same Humvee that Eric was in during the invasion in of Iraq. He is 100 percent Texan, through and through. He is the type of person who will insult you within seconds of making your acquaintance, only to test your resolve. It’s hard to sum up Jeff in anything short of an epic poem. When I first met him in a bar in Africa, I wanted to punch him in the face within about three minutes. He insulted my clothes, the city I lived in and my general way of life. We only started to bond after we opened up about the demise of both our long-term relationships and our mutual disdain for most actors. Certain anecdotes can paint a better picture. For example, while traveling in Europe recently, he would meet other international backpackers and tell these elaborate stories about what he does for a living. He liked to regale these people by telling them that he was a small-arms dealer training guerilla forces in northern Africa so they could overthrow their governments. The truth is, he is an engineering student at Texas A&M. When he flew home from Europe, he thought it would be funny to dress up in Chechnyan mujahedeen garb, thereby convincing airport security that he was a terrorist. Yes, this is the man I spent seven months with.

These guys introduced me to a side of life with which I had been unfamiliar. In some way, they reconnected me to myself. As a shit-bag junkie who lived in New York, I rarely came across servicemen unless they were sailors visiting the city during Fleet Week, in which case they were usually just in the way on my way to the bar. My father is a Vietnam vet, and my natural inclination towards people who would volunteer for that life could politely be described as “resistant.” I just never understood why someone would knowingly sign up for something that seemed so conformist, in my opinion. I was way off base in this assumption.

Let’s start first by saying that I don’t support this war or the reasons why we are over there. I am of the school of thought that we should clean up our own yard before we start to clean up someone else’s. Having said that, the people I have met who are in the armed forces are doing a uniquely un- American thing. It’s unique in the sense that we grew up in a country of excess, to the extent that in this post-industrial, post-sexual-revolution age in America, my generation gets to live off the fat of the land without developing a work ethic that generations before ours seemed to have had. In the age of short attention spans and reality television, Marines are a group of people that actually strive to go against that excess. As Wright points out in his book, “they have chosen asceticism and assimilation over the idea of being an individual” who can dream big and be the next American Idol winner. Out of this, it seems, comes maturity.

There is a school of thought that seems to imply that as Westerners, we have lost a certain amount of our identity because the rites of passage into adulthood are viewed as archaic. There is no tradition for sending boys out into the wild, not to return home until they came back men. To a large extent, the Marines seem to have experienced these rites, and for a short amount of time, I did as well. While living in Africa, Eric and Jeff forced me to grow up,to look at things differently.

We forged this bond by taking long road trips while filming the series. The production itself was grueling. We had six-day work weeks, but anytime that we would have more than 24 hours off, we would plan these insane adventures and take off on a whim with little more than half a tank of gas and a change of underwear. Most weekends we would drive 10 hours to Cape Town to blow off steam. On longer breaks we would look on a giant map of the continent, pick a spot and point our car towards it. We would have made Hemingway proud.

I can’t tell you how many times Eric and Jeff got me nearly killed, whether it was while we were breaking into Botswana, nearly drowning in the Zambezi river, or avoiding getting trampled by elephants. Our road trips got to be so infamous that the producers would send out memos specifically targeted at our little tribe, letting us know that we were an insurance risk. It’s generally considered a bad thing if one of your actors dies during production — from a business perspective, anyway. In fact, Eric and Jeff always wanted to know the location of the closest U.S. Embassy in case I did die so they could fly back to the states and not get sued by HBO.

During these trips, I really felt alive. My brother (who was with us on some of these adventures) pointed out that it was because these guys have truly lived. They have been around more death and destruction than I could possibly imagine or cope with, yet their vitality is undeniable. I don’t remember a time that my stomach didn’t hurt from laughing. I dealt with more insults and put-downs from them than anyone could imagine, but after a while I came to realize that they were forcing me to examine my shortcomings and actually do something about them. They have a fraternal bond that I envy. For a little while, I got to experience it. They treated me as a brother and tenderized me like a piece of steak, because, at the end of the day, they wanted me at my strongest.

Living in Africa with Eric and Jeff was the best experience of my life so far. The art that imitated life was imitated by life again on our road trips. The irony was that after a breakup forced me to re-examine myself, some of the most romantic moments I have had in my life were with these psycho jarheads — but not in a “gay” way.

It’s been a year since we started production on Generation Kill. I recently turned 29, and by the time this article comes out, the show will be airing. I talk to Jeff and Eric regularly. I miss them and that time in my life. Regardless of whether the show is popular or not, I am a stronger human being because of the experiences I had with them and what they taught me. I will have that for the rest of my life. This August, I plan on taking a motorcycle trip in Mexico with them. There is part of me that hopes not to return, knowing that it wouldn’t be any fun if those two weren’t trying to get me killed somehow every day we’re on the road. I think I can honestly say that while I do not support this war, I do support our troops.

- Source

#generation kill #genkill #pj ransone #hbowar #essay #article #eric kocher #jeff carisalez

17 notes · View notes

marvelmymarvel · 6 years

Text

War Is No Place...

Part 2/9

George Luz x Medic!Marshall!Reader (Broken)

Joseph Liebogtt x Medic!Marshall!Reader

Eugene “Doc” Roe x Medic!Marshall!Reader (???)

A/N: I was gonna add Doc in all along, but I wanted to start slow and just have Joe, George, and the Reader... and then introduce this lovely love square <3 Also... Pay attention to anything in the parenthesis ;) ... They may give hints and basically will tell you what is happening. Like in this one, reader and George are broken up, so broken is next to the pair. But if you notice, Joe isn't one-sided anymore... wink wink. It may be a lie to throw you from a loop, or it may foreshadow something... I'm evil but you love me.

Synopsis: You had your eyes on George Luz since day one. Quickly, you fell in love with one another, but you soon realized that war is no place for a lot of things. Mainly, though, its no place for love.

Trigger Warning: Hidden Sadness, Slight and I mean very slight sexual harassment, Teasing/Bullying/NameCalling, ANGST So MUCH ANGST

PS: This makes me feel all sorts of things... goddamnit I do this to myself; Also this is hella long (5.4k words my bad) but my God... I FREAKING LOVE

PSS: This covers like 3 episodes (Carentan, Replacements, Crossroads). You’ll understand why as 2 of the parts will be around Bastogne alone ;)

You rested your head on Joe's shoulder as you were all being driven to the town of Carentan. After success with blowing up the guns by Normandy, you were feeling slightly better than beforehand. Joe worried about you. He tried to calm you down the best he could, but the more you cried into him, the more he wanted to slam his fist down Georges' throat. You shouldn't feel this pain. This was a pain that you of all people, should never feel. You were the type of person that was only supposed to feel love and happiness. He wanted to give you that. You pulled your head up from his shoulder, hearing Eugene call your name from the other end of the truck. “Yeah, Genie?” You hollered out, he waved you over and you stood up shakily. Passing over the men's legs awkwardly, you got to the spot near Doc. He spread his legs a little so you had room to squat. Placing your elbows on his knees, you propped your head up onto your fists, staring at him lovingly. You and Gene were close since day one. You trained together. Cried together. Hell, you even slept together, not like that though, you had a boyfriend.

But still, if you had to bunk with someone, it was always Gene before George came along. You felt like Eugene and you were drifting ever since you and George got together 2 years ago, but you wondered if you’d reconnect. “What can I do for the lovely Doc Roe” you purred out as you grabbed one of his fingers, playing with it, you cocked your head at him. He smiled softly and leaned forward like he was going to tell you a secret. His whole hand went into yours and your thumb automatically swiped across his knuckles sweetly. It made him shiver. The way you touched him. The way you smiled. You were intoxicating. “I have some news to tell you” he began quietly and you grew confused at that. Looking from his bright and mischevious eyes, you looked back down at his fingers which you were still absentmindedly playing with. “And what would that news include Eugene” you cooed while looking back up at him with matching mischevious eyes. He cocked a halfways smirk that made your stomach lurch, “You’ll just have to wait and see mon amour.” There it was. Your stomach twisted into knots as your heart began to race. Your smile was no longer tilted as it went into a full blown smile. Your cheeks heated up and you didn't see Joe roll his eyes at the situation farther down the truck. “You certainly do know how to make a girl fall in love” you cooed sweetly as you stood shakily. You pinched his cheek before climbing back over to Joe. Plopping down, you looked back over to see Gene smile at where you just were before bashfully looking at the truck following behind them. You smiled sweetly at the sight and Joe just put his arm over your shoulders, knocking you out of your gaze. Looking back up at him, you smiled innocently up at him before laying your head back down. Gazing up at Joe lovingly, you patted his knee, “Don't worry Joe” you whispered as the truck stopped. You stood up quickly and turned your head to say the final word “I don't like him like that.” The words fell effortlessly from your lips, but your heart raced faster as you winked and walked towards the end of the truck where Gene helped you down. Joe looked at the ground before shaking his head. You were going to be the death of him. Standing up and walking to the end of the truck, he jumped down and watched you walk away with Eugene. And he hoped you would be. You would be one hell of a way to die.

“Jesus Winters” you hissed as your hands went to Eugene's shoulders as you approached from behind him. He pulled the bullet out of Winters shin and you hissed. “Medic!” someone called and you kissed Gene's hair, “Good work out there” you whispered before nodding to Winters and taking off to the sound. Lip sat at the table, waiting patiently while the person who was calling for a medic was frantically pacing. Wiping your hands you shook your head, “Don't worry kid” you whispered to the frantic soldier as you stepped up to Lip, touching your pointer and middle fingers to the right side of his jaw, you moved his head so you could get a look at the gash under his right eye. “Alright come here Lip, that's gonna need some stitches” you whispered before grabbing his hand and pulling him into another room. Sitting him down, you grabbed a needle, thread and wipes to clean the wound before sitting beside him. You cleaned up the wound and he hissed in pain as the alcohol entered the gash. “I know I’m sorry hon” you whispered sweetly as you kept softly cleaning the gash and the area around it. “Was that one of your men?” you softly teased as you set the bloodied towel and wipes down at your side. Lip chuckled and nodded softly “He’s one of mine” he answered, “How could you tell?.” While you weren't aware of whos men where whos exactly, you could tell by how they acted around certain NCO’s that gave it away. “He was pretty frantic... Like you were his father... I kind of just put two and two together.” you whispered back. You let out a light laugh as he rolled his eyes at you.”I am not their father” he retorted but you snorted “Oh please Lipton... You’re more like their mother” you cooed in his face as you pinched his cheek left cheek. Eugene came to the room’s glass door right as you lovingly did that. His heart broke for a second as he pushed open the door and cleared his throat. You stopped right as you pressed the needle to the wound and turned back to him, flashing him a smile. “Hey, Gene. Whatcha need hon?” you asked before turning back to focus on Lip’s nasty gash. “Do you have any morphine?” He asked and you hummed a yes, “GIve me one sec Genie I’m almost done” you whispered as you continued to stitch. You finished but didn't notice Eugene's awkward stance as you were very very close to Lipton’s face. He didn't like that. Lip noticed and he was praying you were almost done. You tied it off and cut it. “Now, I love you Lip... But I am not checking out your nuts... So....” you trailed off as you motioned to the other male medics and he nodded quickly. Embarrassed that you’d even assumed that he’d ask you. “I’ll find another medic. Thanks” he whispered before practically running out of the room. You turned back to the supplies as you began to pack them up. Eugene walked closer and you turned swiftly, “Morphine yes! Sorry Genie, I’m getting overwhelmed” you joked sheepishly. Although, it wasn't really a joke. “I can tell..” he whispered as he grabbed the morphine you handed him. “Why don't you go take a break, the other medics and I can handle the rest” he stated kindly and your heart melted. You brought him into a hug, “Oh thank you so much Genie” you cooed in his ear before pulling back. Standing on your tippy toes, you pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I’m gonna go find Joe” you whispered happily before practically skipping out. He stood there, holding the morphine and blushing like an idiot. How could one girl, how could you, make him crumble so easily. You would be the one to break his heart. He shook his head, hearing someone calling for him, he turned back towards the others. And he hoped you would.

“Joe!” you screamed out, finally catching him in a group of people. Running up behind him, you flung your arms around his back and locked them around his waist. He whirled in your grasp and you looked up at him from his chest. “Ayeee you made it out alive princess!” he cheered out as his hands went to your cheeks, squishing them to make you giggle. While you were still getting over what Geroge did, seeing as it happened only a few days ago, you tried masking the pain with giggles and fun. Really though, you were dying inside. The men didn't see that, neither did George. All they saw was that you were getting over the break up quickly. Joe didn't see that though. He saw past your bright smiles and cheerful giggles. For in your eyes, he saw the dark waves of sadness washing over your entire body. He wasn't surprised, you were freshly broken up with someone that you loved for 2 years. It would take time. But he wished he could hurry it along. You hugged into Joe harder as you put your ear to his chest, some of the men looked at you two like you two were a couple. It didn't matter. You thought. And then a thought crossed your mind right as the sentence came out of his mouth. “Pretty fast to move on there, Miss Marshall” Cobb called out. It wasn't meant to be funny, yet some of the men laughed. You let go of Joe and looked at him in shock and hurt. “I'm sorry” you whimpered out. You weren't one for being laughed at, in fact, you hated it. Some people could play along with the joke, but you couldn't take it. Joe turned towards Cobb, a hard-set glare etched onto his face. It was a warning. You were easy to break and now was not the time. “Oh, nothing.. Just kind of funny how fast it was for you to move from one dick to the other. How much do I have to pay you to move to mine” he teased and some more men laughed harder.

You blinked in pain from the words and your lip began to tremble. Joe stepped forward angrily but another man stopped him, “Let it go, man, Cobbs just being a dick” the man whispered up at Joe. “She just needs comfort and he’s picking on her” Joe hissed back at the man who stopped him. He wanted someone else to understand that you were not dating him. While he would love that, that's not who you were. “We know that man. She means everything to us... We know she would never do anything to hurt George” he whispered back and Joe turned back towards you as you just watched the group of men continue to laugh at you. “I-I-I would n-n-never” you stuttered out in pain as you stepped forward. You would do anything to make the laughing soldiers understand that right now, you were going through waves and waves of pain and the only person you had was Joe and Eugene. “I guess maybe not Joe... But your mouth was awfully close to Docs dick on the ride out here. You suck his cock as well slut?” he spewed out and that made the dam in your eyes break. Your face flooded with tears and you stumbled back, lip quivering as your breathing began to go ragged. They began to point and laugh at your crying, some screamed out ‘slut’ and Joe about lost his shit once more but the soldier held him back. You turned to storm away when you ran into a chest. Looking up, you saw George glaring at Cobb. His familiar scent filled your nostrils and you felt calm for once in his angry presence. The way he was glaring at Cobb made you feel safe and secure. You wanted to reach out and cry into him, let out all of your pain into him. But then you remembered how you couldn't touch him. You just... Couldn’t... Somehow, that hurt more.

“Hey, Cobb.” George barked out, making the soldiers stop laughing and for Cobb to send a mischevious grin back. “Leave her alone you dickhead.” Cobbs smirk fell and he scoffed “She’s the one hoeing around George-” Cobb started but George pushing you aside and storming over to him made him go silent. George grabbed his collar and yanked him closer to his face. “Leave. Her. Alone. Before. I. Beat. The. Shit. Out. Of. Ya... Got it?” he snarled each word and Cobb just smirked at it. “You act as if you still love her George” Cobb loudly proclaimed. It got quiet and you watched in fear. You didn't want to hear it. Please don't say it. Walk away. Walk away- “I don't.” George stated firmly making your internal begging stop. Joe's breath hitched as his head snapped to yours. The pain in your eyes was now evident everywhere on your body. Your hands trembled. Your lips quivered. Your eyes were dark and distant. You looked like you were going to be sick. You stepped backward. Tears weren’t falling anymore. All you felt was anger. “Did you ever really love her?” Cobb pressed. Could you breathe? “That's enough Cobb” Joe snarled out. You weren't breathing. If George lied and told Cobb what he wanted to hear, it would break you. “No Joe, I wanna hear his answer” Cobb continued. “I think she does as well” he cooed out while looking at you. George looked back at you sadly. “He never did” you called out. It was a lie. At some point, George Luz did love you... But nowadays, you questioned whether it lasted as long as you believed. “And neither did I Cobb” you started louder. Georges' head snapped back to you in shock. You straightened up, realizing who you were. “And no Cobb” you snarled out “I will not jump to your nasty infected dick, even if you paid me. So go. Fuck. Your. Self. You nasty little son of a bitch.” Some men coughed at the venom you spewed back. Joe smirked widely and Cobb looked like he wanted to punch you. He could try, but you knew about 20 men that would step in before he could even get one foot towards you. “So, Fuck you both” you snarled while flipping your finger at both Cobb and George. “I’m gonna go get drunk” you turned and stormed away “Let's go Joe” you called back and he just winked at the two men before following. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he kissed your cheek in pride. “That’s my girl” he whispered.

You stumbled into the room you were sharing with Joe. “I’m so fucking drunk” you laughed out and he just shook his head as he guided you in. He was sober, for your sake at least. You could barely make it up the stairs, let alone make it back from the bar by yourself. He smiled at your dancing as you began to hum a tune. “What the hell are you doing” he chuckled and you just gasped, “YOU DONT KNOW THAT SON-” you hollered and he shushed you, getting closer to cover your mouth. The rest of the sentence came out muffled as your lips moved against his palm. “You’re gonna wake some very angry Lieutenants, Y/n” he whispered quietly and you just rolled your eyes. “My daddy is important” you teased before grabbing his hands in yours. “What are you-” he began but you just shushed him sloppily, “Lets dance” you whispered out as your fingers intertwined with his. You stepped to the side and stumbled a little and almost fell. He let go of your hand and caught you quickly, pulling you closer to his body as your now free hand grabbed his shoulder. You giggled, “I’m so drunk” you chuckled out and he nodded quickly. He began to sway with you as you hummed the song. Your head rested on his chest, right above his heart. His heart thumped faster, but you didn't notice. Your hand let go of his hand as it slid up his arm and towards his shoulder. His free hand latched with the one that was against your back as you held him closer. You felt safe. You let one arm slide down a little as you put your head beside his.

He felt like he was dying inside. You were so close to him and he had been dreaming of this moment for forever, but you felt broken in his arms. This was wrong. Pulling back, he smiled at you kindly. “Let's get you to bed, princess” he whispered before kissing your cheek sweetly. You nodded as he helped you change. Respecting you, he turned away the whole time and only helped when you needed it. He helped you to bed and gave you some water from his canteen. You laid down and he grabbed a pillow and blanket to go sleep on the couch down in the foyer. “Wait” you called out. He stopped at the door and looked back at you. You looked like a child and his heart broke. “Please stay....” you whispered out sadly “I don't want to wake up alone.” He looked at the door, weighing his options. He knew that if he stayed, his love for you would grow more just by the way your head would lay on his chest the whole night. But if he left, you could wake up alone and be scared. He nodded, closing the door and walking back over towards the bed. He didn't strip at first and you pushed him away, “Ew Joe, change out of your nasty uniform” you whispered and he blushed. Nodding he cleared his throat before unbuttoning his jacket and taking it off. You weren't watching, but he still felt really conscious of the fact that your skin would be touching his. Sliding his pants off, he climbed into the blankets quickly. You scooted closer and cleared your throat, “Do you mind if I cuddle with you?” you asked shyly. He had turned the lamp off, but he could tell just by the way you said that sentence, that you were blushing madly. “Sure baby” he whispered. His eyes widened in fear that you would think the nickname that came out was weird, but you didn't say anything. Instead, you crawled under his arm and laid your head on his chest. “Thanks for being there Joe” you whispered. He nodded and kissed your head as he pulled you in closer. “Get some sleep... We are moving out tomorrow” he whispered back.

An open field made you uneasy as you walked beside Doc through it. Easy men were walking a few feet ahead of you and you were happy that George was far up in the group. “I don't like this” you whispered while looking around. It was quiet... “You’re just being antsy-” but he was cut off by the sounds of gunfire. You slammed him into the ground and gripped onto him. “I told you!” You screamed as you army crawled quickly to the brush, “Oh hush!” he hollered back as you just giggled madly. You both fell behind the brush, laying on your backs, your laughter was loud and echoey as he just watched you in awe. How was it, that in a situation where they were being shot at, you still managed to laugh. “Are you always made of light?” he asked quietly. You stopped laughing and turned your head to look at him. Your smile faltered as the gunfire died down. “Stars only shine in darkness” you whispered quietly. He blinked sadly at you and opened his mouth to respond, hand creeping towards yours. “Y/n” Joe called out, making Doc shut his mouth and snap his hand back to his side as Joe came around a bush. “Oh thank God you’re alright,” Joe said happily and you just smiled sweetly at him before sitting up. “We are ordered to dig some foxholes. Are you staying with me?” He asked. You shook your head and motioned back to Eugene, “Medics stick together” you whispered and Joe nodded. You didn't catch the hint of jealousy that flashed through his eyes, but Eugene did. “You don't have to Y/n” Eugene interrupted and you turned back to him, “But I want to” you stated firmly. No one in this world made you feel more comfortable than Eugene Roe. Joe nodded and looked back at you as you turned back to him. “We can stay together another night?” you asked kindly and Joe nodded before turning to leave. He felt his heartbreak. He realized something important as he began to dig his hole. He heard you giggle with Roe a little way over and his heart only crumbled more. War is no place... He thought as he repeated your words over and over. War is no place for heartache.

Time passed and you only got closer to Eugene and Joe as time went on. But something still stuck. Every time George looked at you, you lost your ability to breathe. It was like you fell in love with him all over again, but his words echoed in your ears to this day. He didn't love you anymore. Eindhoven was fun. You stuck close to Joe as to not get into any danger with the locals. They seemed to like to get handsy with you, and Joe didn't really like that. Luckily for you, he could tell them to fuck off in a language they could understand. If he didn't have his arm slung over your shoulders or around your waist, he had his eyes glued to your every move. He wouldn't let anything happen to you. But he wasn't the only one. George seemed to watch you move through the crowd to get to another private like his life depended on it. Joe watched you but was pulled away for a second and when he looked back, you were gone. George saw you though. Before you could reach the other soldier, a man scooped you into his arms. You tried to tell him, no, but he tried to kiss you anyway. George stormed through the crowd towards you both. “No thank you sir” you whispered quickly as you tried to push his face away from your neck. Joseph saw George storm towards you and Joe then saw what was happening to you. He pushed through the crowd as well, George would get to you first, but he wouldn't be far behind. The man's hand cupped your butt and you yelped and tried to push him off you, but his grip was strong. Georges' hand slammed on the man's shoulder as he yanked him off of you. You gasped as he was ripped away from you, stumbling back you fell on your butt from the force. Your eyes widened in fear as George placed the handgun onto the man's temple. “She. Said. NO.” He snarled angrily. This was a side of George you had never seen before and your mouth dropped in shock. Joe's arm wrapped around your waist as he helped you up and held you close as you both watched George in shock. You knew it was Joe by the way he lightly held your waist but it made you snap out of it. He tried to step forward but you jumped into action. “George wait” you started as you grabbed the arm that was holding the gun to the poor man's temple. “He touched you inappropriately Y/n.” he snarled in your face, still gripping onto the man's collar tightly. The gun shook violently against the man's head and you swallowed shaking your head up at your ex-boyfriend. “This isn't you George” you whispered as your hand ran up his arm and towards the hand that was holding the gun. Your fingers rested on the tight grip and you tilted your head, begging him with your broken eyes to stop. The touch made him snap out of it and he brought the gun away. Shoving the man away, he scrambled away. Joe just watched the man, not making an attempt to go scare him some more for doing that to you... He didn't need to at least. “Thank you though-” you began but he just shook his head making you stop as he put his gun back in his holder, “This doesn't change shit” he snarled before pushing past. You stood there staring at the place where he stood. Joe stepped forward slowly. The dancing around you sounded muffled as your hearts fragile pieces, broke once more. “Come here” Joe whispered before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling your frozen frame away from the commotion.

“MEDIC” You heard someone scream as you raced through the field with Doc. Winters was leading a group against, what you saw as, S.S. Soldiers. “Holy shit Doc” You hollered as you watched the gunfight that unfolded below. You knelt down to help Webster but the gunfire going on down below made your mind reel. “Y/n FOCUS” Doc screamed, as you turned to holler back at him, a shot pierced your stomach, making you fly back. You gripped onto your stomach as blood pooled out, “FUCK” you screamed as Doc slid down beside you. Another medic helped Web and Eugene just ripped into your jacket. “They fucking GOT ME BASTARDS” you screamed and he shushed you as he lifted your white t-shirt which wasn't really white anymore. “Oh lord I’m seeing stars Genie that's never good” you whispered. You screamed out as his fingers went right into the wound, he was trying hard to find the bullet, but it hurt like hell. You gripped onto his arm in pain as he finally found it. Pulling it out, your head started to spin. He was searching through his bag to find morphine before you passed out from the pain but you just chuckled when he couldn't find any. Pulling your hand out of your medic bag, you held up a vial “I stole yours” you laughed out. He rolled his eyes before stabbing the syringe into your arm, injecting the whole thing into you. Your vision came back as a calm feeling washed over you and you couldn't feel the pain. He was able to wrap you up quickly before sitting you up. Webster, who was still in the trench with you two was watching in awe at how quickly it worked. Eugene was worried though. Your head bobbed a little as you giggled at Eugene as you rested against the hillside. “You’re cute when you’re worried” you slurred out jokingly. His face scrunched up as you got closer, “I’ve always wanted to do this” you whispered quietly as you got all serious. “What are you-” but your lips hit his with a hard and hungry force that made him freeze. His eyes widened in shock as you pulled back with a dreamy smile on your face. “I’ve wanted to do that for soooo long” you whispered but your smile faltered as you began to blink rapidly. “Shit” Eugene whispered, you turned your head and threw up into the grass. He held your hair back and once you were done, laid you down in case you seized. “What the hell just happened?” Web asked in shock of everything that just went on. “She hallucinated first, which made her kiss me. Then she started to blink fast, which is what she always does before she has to throw up.” He stated as he brushed your hair away from your sweaty head as he placed his fingers to your pulse point. Slow. “Damnit” he whispered as he tried to cool you down, your skin was white and you looked sick. Your eyes were dilated and he began to grow worried about you having a seizure. “Why did you lay her down?” Web asked and Joe came up above, seeing you his face went pale. He was wounded as well but seeing you made him forget that-that was the reason to why he came towards the medics in the first place. “Jesus Christ” he stuttered out before sliding down and to your side. “She could seize... it’s highly rare, but considering she just had two of the rarest symptoms for morphine overdose...” Doc started but then he felt your pulse. Your skin color came back and your heartbeat went to a regular beat instead of a slowed one. You started to breathe deeper and your pupils went back to normal. You sat up slowly with the help of Joe. You rubbed your head as a headache set in. “What the hell just happened” you whispered out, “You just had a little too much morphine,” Doc said calmly “You’re gonna be fine, but I’m gonna keep a close eye on ya.” You nodded at that before looking at Webster who just watched you in shock. “What?” you asked and Web just shook his head “Nothing” he muttered before being helped up. You looked at Eugene in confusion and he just shook his head, “Did I do something?” you asked quietly. Eugene's face contorted into hurt, but it went away as fast as it appeared. “No... Y/n... You didn't do anything.” You nodded at him, thankful that you didn't do anything stupid. Eugene and Joe both helped you up and over to the Jeep to get stitched up. It got quiet between you two. You wondered if he was lying to you. What did you do? What was he hiding?

You and Joe sat across from George. It was awkward still, but you learned to get over it. Joe was currently teaching you German, but you were failing miserably. “I have a saying for you,” Joe said finally. He was feeling bold and ballsy, and he didn't give a damn if George heard him tell you how he really felt. Your wound was still fresh as you had just left the little town and were on your way to Bastogne. “What is that” you stated while looking up at Joe lovingly. “Ich Liebe Dich” He cooed. Your cheeks heated up and you smiled bashfully. You could feel Georges glare boring into you both and you felt your heart race. This was wrong. All wrong. “What's that mean,” you asked stupidly, you knew what it meant, but you wanted to hear him say it. Why? Part of you knew why..... “I love you” He whispered while cupping your chin sweetly. Your heart soared and you smiled at him softly. “Alright, that's enough” George snapped out. Your head snapped to his as he inhaled from his cigarette angrily and leaned back. “I can do whatever I want” Joe snarled back, that only made the bear angrier though. “Nope. Not with my girl” George growled back possessively as he gripped tightly onto his cigarette. ‘My girl.’ Bingo. You smiled wickedly to yourself. “Well hate to break it to you there Luz, but she ain't your girl. And I can do and will do whatever I so please, with her” Joe said while lounging back behind you. He was calm about the other man's anger, but you knew better. Even though the truck was moving, you saw Georges' feet begin to tap. “You better fucking, not Liebgott or I swear to God-” “You’ll do what Luz... Break my heart like you broke hers. News flash dickwad, I’ve already done things with her” he pressed. It was a lie, but it didn't matter. George shot over and grabbed Joe's collar, yanking him up into his face. “Take it back. NOW” George growled and your heart stopped, “I will never take back the fact that your girl loves me and not you... Luz” Joe snarled back. George looked at you for any sign that what Joe was saying was true. You were in so much shock though, he took it as a yes. “You mother fucker” Geroge snarled as he yanked him up and to the floor. They both flew to the floor of the truck. “HEY NO!” You screamed, snapping out of your daze, as some of the men just stared in shock at the whole thing. “GET OFF OF HIM GEORGE” you screamed as George got on top of Joe and started to punch him over and over again. Blood was flying from Joe's nose as George beat the shit out of him. “DONT FUCKING TOUCH MY GIRL EVER AGAIN” George screamed into Joe's face and your heart stopped in fear for Joe’s life. You tried to grab for Georges' arm “THAT'S ENOUGH-” but the elbow slammed back and into the wound of your stomach, cutting you off and making you fly back. Hitting the corner of your metal seat. You were out like a light.

Part 3

tags:

@hell-itwasyou @desired-love-

#george luz imagine #george luz imagines #george luz x reader #joseph liebgott imagine #joseph liebgott imagines #joseph liebgott #band of brothers imagines #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #doc roe imagine #doc roe imagines #war is no place...#war is no place

61 notes · View notes