#and aside from that i will try to not worry about things i cant do anything about anyway

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (1)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

I posted this yesterday but I wanted to change a few things so I deleted it and now I’m posting it again lol it’s long but I still hope people like it!

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 1) — MEET YN

liked by bestfriend, yourbrother, and 60 others 

yourinstagram here’s to a new year and new beginnings :)

view all 6 comments

bestfriend love youuuu  bestfriend im so happy to have you back!! 

↳ yourinstagram pls don’t let me choose a bf ever again ↳ bestfriend don’t worry. single squad for life ↳ bestfriend or until one of us gets married lol  ↳ yourinstagram 😂 love you!!

Jan 5, 2021 • 

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liked by bestfriend, yourbrother, and 75 others 

yourinstagram can you believe just three months ago this gal was heartbroken, unemployed, and out of dreams? guess the world reallyyyyy spins around, huh 😜

view all 8 comments

bestfriend yes it doesss  bestfriend now the universe is giving back what she deservessssss yourbrother i think i liked you better when you had no social life

↳ yourinstagram 😂 omg fuck off ↳ yourbrother if this is the language you use around my children i’m never letting you babysit again ↳ yourinstagram 😔 stop that’s not funny

Feb 10, 2021 •

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liked by sisterinlaw, bestfriend, and 60 others 

yourinstagram got myself a camera and a dream (plus an empty bank account)

view all 7 comments 

yourmom Are you OK? Do you need money? x

↳ yourinstagram im okay mom :) love you ↳ yourbrother my bank account is empty too

bestfriend can’t wait to be your +1 at the academy awards 

Feb 26, 2021 •

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liked by yourbrother, bestfriend, and 85 others 

yourinstagram step aside pls your girl just posted her first video on youtube and is now one step closer from becoming a filmmaker ✌🏻

view all 13 comments 

bestfriend THAT’S MY BESTIE sisterinlaw Loved it!! 💋 yourmom I miss you. Give me a call x yourmom Also you should post pictures of your face x

↳ yourinstagram 😂💗

childhoodfriend Nice to see you still love telling stories, haha great video!

↳ yourinstagram oh my gosh it’s been a while! 🥺 thank youuu let’s catch up soon  

Mar 19, 2021 •

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liked by yourbrother, bestfriend, and 167 others 

yourinstagram life lately

view all 23 comments 

user1 just watched your video on youtube about growing up and i’m in tears! you’re soooo talented

↳ yourinstagram omg that’s so sweet thank you so much :’) 

yourbrother why bothering buying a camera if you’re going to steal mine

↳ yourinstagram i didn’t steal it  ↳ yourbrother but you also didn’t give it back yet did you? 

user2 Loving your content!!

April 10, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, anotherfriend, and 319 others 

yourinstagram hellooooo i just posted another video :D even tho she’s not physically in it, i must admit our 20+ years together completely inspired this one. thank you for being there for me. i’m very lucky to call you my best friend and i love you 💗 hope you enjoy it!

view all 25 comments 

bestfriend i cant rn i’ll be back when i stop crying user1 amazing!!! another great video! loved everything about it, left me thinking and wondering about lots of things. i’m blown away by how talented you are.

↳ yourinstagram you’re so sweet 🥺 thank you, it means more than you can imagine!

yourmom Lovely girls 🥰 user3 This was my favorite so far!

April 21, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, sisterinlaw and 512 others 

yourinstagram got my first paycheck and went out shopping 

(ps: remember when my ex freaked out bc he didn’t want me to buy harrys album? lol here’s to you pal) (fine line you’ll be next i promise!)

view all 57 comments 

bestfriend harry styles album listening party tonight

↳ yourinstagram as if we don’t already listen to it everyday lol 

user1 you’re so real for this lol user1 also wtf? why didn’t he want you to buy the album? 

↳ yourinstagram bc he was jealous and insecure  ↳ bestfriend jealous that you’d bump into harry someday, mention you bought his album and he’d fall in love with you  ↳ yourinstagram lol talk about delusional  ↳ bestfriend he just knew your potential ↳ user1 😂😂😂

yourbrother so YOU are the reason why my daughter is suddenly obsessed? user5 Omg didn’t know you’re also a harry fan! What’s your favorite song?

↳ yourinstagram sign of the times always and forever

May 6, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, yourmom and 750 others 

yourinstagram just me and my little camera conquering the world ❤️ lol no but srsly, i know it’s only been a month since i posted my first video on youtube but so far ive had suchhhh a great time working hard to make my dreams come true :’) i sometimes fear my content isn’t much or isn’t professional enough, so the feedback i’ve been getting truly warms my heart and puts a smile on my face! thank you. thank you. thank you.

view all 86 comments 

bestfriend ❤️❤️❤️ yourbrother why are you still living in 2020? 

↳ yourinstagram why are you so annoying?

yourmom We’re very proud sweetheart x

↳ yourinstagram wouldn’t have done anything without your support! love you ❤️

user1 your content is AMAZING! the way you bring little stories to each video has me obsessed 

↳ yourinstagram i love telling stories so much!! im happy you enjoy them! 

user3 Honestly you’re one of the most creative people I’ve come across lately. The way you approach each topic with so much honesty and tell real life stories while not really including people in your shots is incredible!

↳ yourinstagram omg thank you so so much! this means the world me! 

May 6, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, sisterinlaw and 910 others 

yourinstagram hiii i just posted a new video on youtube and im really nervous about it lol this is really different from the others + a little longer, but also the most special so far. it includes a very memorable moment we lived as a family just a couple weeks ago so i trulyyyy hope you enjoy it! lmk your thoughts plssss

view all 103 comments 

user1 i just sent this video to everyone i know. i feel like i say this every time but this one is my favorite yet!! you’re so talented i want to live inside your brain

↳ yourinstagram hahahha you’re the best thank you sooooo much for your constant support!

bestfriend ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS WAS MY FAVORITE ONE SO FAR  bestfriend pls take me to a concert and make a short film of me dancing to my favorite songs too 😭 i beg you!!!!

↳ yourinstagram let’s do it! ed sheeran? beyonce? harry styles? ↳ bestfriend YES ↳ yourinstagram yes it’s not an answer lol you were supposed to pick one 

user8 👏👏👏 you’ve outdone yourself with this one!  user4 You’re so real about this one! My mom LOVES Shania Twain too and the day she saw her live for the first time was exactly like this! She just turned into a fangirl all over again haha 

May 27, 2021 •

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user2 Hey there. I’m so happy youtube just recommended this to me. I’m in love with your content! So creative and touching. I’m definitely going back to binge all your other videos now. I was just wondering, though, is this your real family? I’m only asking because from the way you tell the story it feels so much like watching a movie that it made me wonder if they were actors following a script 😅 hope you don’t take it the wrong way. Have a good one!

↳ youryoutube hiii thank you so much for watching and for being so respectful and polite about your comment! 😊 this is my own family, yes! i actually wasn’t planning on filming this, but my brother and i took my mom to see shania twain (who’s like, her favorite artist of all times!) and i woke up inspired to make a little video about it. i’m really glad you enjoyed it, and i’m actually really flattered by your question, because this was the first time i didn’t script a video at all and was really afraid in the end it wouldn’t come up the way i wanted to. so thank you!!  ↳ user2 Oh, wow! Thanks so much for taking the time to answer me. That’s really interesting to know. Loved how you managed to capture the emotions without actually exposing anyone. I also enjoyed how this isn’t just a “vlog”, if that makes sense. It truly feels like an actual story with beginning, middle and end (I mean, there’s even some drama in it!). So cheers to you! Can’t wait to see what else you’ll come up with in the future.  ↳ youryoutube THANK YOU! oh my goodness that’s exactly what i’m always going for :’) thank you, thank you!! 

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liked by bestfriend, yourbrother and 3,614 others 

yourinstagram hello????? i just woke up to the news that the one and only queen and goddess shania twain watched my video????? and shared it?????? what the hell it’s happening????? 

view all 245 comments 

yourbrother thought you were going to expose mom losing it on our gc haha bestfriend I’M COMING OVER WE’RE FUCKING CELEBRATING user1 😍😍😍 yesssss love to see you getting bigger and bigger!! user18 omg that video was so cute!! also love your aesthetic user14 your mom’s excitement was the sweetest it left me in tears  harryfan say 🙋‍♀️ if you’re here because gemma shared her video

↳ harryfan2 🙋‍♀️ ↳ harryfan3 🙋‍♀️

Jun 1, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, anotherfriend and 5,875 others 

yourinstagram good morning?? is life even real?? 

last week was sooo insane omg im still over the moon and also so happy reading everyone’s reaction to my mom’s dream coming true 🥺 everyone’s just so sweet and kind! thank you!! i wish i could spend the entire day around just chatting and celebrating, but today is a big and busy day for me so wish me luck im really gonna need it 

view all 541 comments 

bestfriend remember there was a time when i used to be the first and only to like your posts? :’) user1 good luck!! user4 Can’t wait for your next video! user9 I THINK I JUST HEARD YOUR INTERVIEW ON THE RADIO??

↳ user10 Yesss. I was driving to work and I heard that too haha ↳ user3 omg what did she talk about? ↳ user9 ＠user3 they were basically asking about the video/her mom. she explained that it was a really spontaneous thing and that she wasn’t planning on doing more of those but after seeing everyone’s reaction she’s changing her mind. oh, she also mentioned she never expected shania to see her video and that she still doesn’t know how it got to her in the first place!

Jun 8, 2021 •

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liked by anotherfriend, cuteguy and 6,513 others 

yourinstagram quick life update: got a part-time job. moved to a new apartment. completed my harry styles album collection. went on a date with a cute guy. posted another video. 

so far no complaints. 300/10.

view all 617 comments 

bestfriend can’t believe ‘went out for dinner with my best friend’ didn’t make the cut 

↳ yourinstagram sorry that’s bts content

user5 Your last video was amazing!! So were the last two before that!! Totally feel like you found yourself in the music field 

↳ user1 omg i totally agree! i can totally see this becoming a series or something like this ↳ yourinstagram ohhhh i love the idea!! :) 

harryfan any chance this cute guy was harry styles himself?

↳ yourinstagram 😂😂😂 minus 100% chances 

user3 Is this part time job film related maybe?

↳ yourinstagram i wish :( needed a normal part time job to pay for my dream job actually lol

harryfan2 omg which one of his albums did you get?

↳ user5 she already has self titled so she must’ve gotten fine line now

June 25, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, cuteguy and 8,315 others 

yourinstagram sorry i havent been here the past few days but i was busy playing hide and seek with my niblings (i just found out there’s a word for niece + nephew btw. how cool is that?!!)

view all 732 comments 

harryfan girl tell me why i came here to watch one video and never left? :’) 

↳ user1 lol same!! she’s great isn’t she?

yourbrother i hope you know you’ll be the one buying your goddaughter a ticket for that harry styles boy

↳ harryfan2 “that harry styles boy” lol excuse me sir? ↳ yourinstagram you’re about to get soooooo dragged and all im gonna do is sit here and watch lol ↳ sisterinlaw I’m sitting here, too!!

user4 your posts always brighten up my day 😍

July 3, 2021 •

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liked by cuteguy, yourmom and 11,798 others 

yourinstagram i can’t believe there are so many people watching me post stuff like this lol i don’t really know how to behave and i get easily embarrassed so if you don’t mind i’ll just pretend we are no more than 5 friends just hanging out okay? thanks!!

btw wanted to share that we took my niece to see ariana grande so…… guess what??? new video will be up tomorrow :D this one is once again a little bit different from the others idk im always trying new things so let’s see if it works!! 

view all 931 comments 

cuteguy 😍 bestfriend when is it going to be my turn? :(( user3 omg can’t wait!!! will we finally get to meet your niece??

↳ yourinstagram nooo:( i don’t feel comfortable sharing them on the internet. that’s also why you’ll see this video is kinda from a parents perspective? idk how to explain with words you gotta watch it to see it haha ↳ user2 we love a respectful and mindful woman 💪

harryfan can’t wait for the day you see harry omg i just know that will be the best video ever

↳ harryfan3 right like so many fandoms have been getting these incredible videos i’m so jealous

July 12, 2021 •

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liked by yourinstagram, bestfriend, sisterinlaw and 4,339,032 others

harrystyles LOVE ON TOUR will be going out across the USA this September and I could not be more excited for these shows. I love you all so much. I’m very excited, and I can’t wait to see you. H

view all 100,888 comments 

bestfriend ＠yourinstagram 🤭 harryfan ＠yourinstagram THIS IS IT DO YOUR THING PLS I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT user2 OMG ARE WE FINALLY GETTING A SHORT MOVIE??? SAY YES PLS OMG ＠yourinstagram user7 i feel like if yn doesn’t take ＠bestfriend to at least one show there will be blood 😂

↳ bestfriend ＠yourinstagram see? everyone knows it should happen ↳ yourinstagram ＠bestfriend STOP WE’RE SO FUCKING DOING THIS ↳ harryfan AIDHASASJDBAJHAJH I’M SO EXCITD

July 14, 2021 •

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liked by cuteguy, anotherfriend and 14,513 others 

yourinstagram had a reallyyyyy huge meeting today and i was losing my shit so this really cute guy took me out for a coffee :D 

(new video’s up!!! hope you enjoy it!)

view all 1,007 comments 

user4 are you guys sharing a piece of cake? stop that’s so sweet :(  user8 omg she has a bf?? but what about harry?? lol

↳ harryfan7 THAT’S WHAT I SAID!! she was supposed to go to his show so he could see her in the crowd and fall in love 😩 ↳ harryfan12 lol please harry doesn’t even know who she is. also maybe don’t be disrespectful to the guy she’s actually dating? ↳ user8 ＠harryfan12 it was just a choke chill out lol

user1 can’t wait for the new video!!! (also… important meeting??? 👀)

July 29, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, mollyjane_x, cuteguy and 17,283 others 

yourinstagram i dont think you guys will ever understand how much you watching and spreading the word about my videos has changed my life. it hasnt been even even six months since i started posting on youtube and yet it feels like i’ve lived four years so far. thank you soooo much for deciding to join this ride with me!

also, so much is happening rn that i feel like i need to sort some things out and reorganize myself. so there’ll be a new video up tonight, and then i’ll be taking a short break before releasing any new content. it won’t be long, just a couple of weeks that will mostly be used to feed my creativity once again lol (and also to plan and script some exciting new projects!!) 

i hope you stay around and wait for me. i’ll see you back really soon 💗

view all 1,345 comments 

sisterinlaw 💗 user1 take all the time we need we’ll be here waiting for you!! <3 user3 you deserve all this sooo much!! harryfan7 i see you molly 👀

↳ harryfan11 no bc how are you even a harry fan and don’t absolutely freak out when harry’s creative director likes your post?? ↳ harryfan8 also his manager following her??? i mean what are the chances of being just a coincidence? 

bestfriend i love youuu and i’m so freaking proud of you 💗 user4 I’ll miss your content because it always puts a smile on my face, but I totally understand and can’t wait to see what’s next!

Aug 13, 2021 •

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liked by cuteguy, mollyjane_x, gemmastyles and 19,107 others 

yourinstagram so……. i kinda quit my part time job to start this other full time job? which is now finally related to something i truly love?? 😅 oh god!! i dont even know what to say. all i know is that im about to start the craziest adventure of my life and even tho im about to board the plane i still cant believe it is ACTUALLY happening. again, thank you so much for spreading the word about my videos and for being so kind about them. thank you for deciding i was worth your time every week. im only here right now bc you gave me the chance in the first place so thank you thank you thank you! 

i’ll share more details as soon as i can (and when i’m sure i wont jinx it lol) but for now, THANK YOU!

view all 1,501 comments 

cuteguy have fun, call me when you land 😘 harryfan you’re going to the LOT and nobody can convince me otherwise!!

↳ user4 why wouldn’t she just say it, tho? ↳ harryfan idk she normally never shares she’s going to a show anyway she just posts the video later 🤷 

harryfan8 the fact that molly and jeff followed her and now molly likes all of her posts can’t be random. also she quitting her job and traveling the same day so many from harry’s crew are traveling? 

↳ harryfan2 AND GEMMA LIKING THIS POST? WHY IS PEOPLE SILENT ABOUT THIS?????

harryfan7 gemma liked this post but she doesn’t even follow her??? bestfriend i miss you already can’t wait to visit you!! user1 im so excited whatever it is you deserve it so much!!!!

Aug 25, 2021 •

— — — — — 

PART 2: LAS VEGAS

— — — — —

I’m not hopeful people will read and enjoy this, but if you happen to do so pls let me know? :( thanks!!

[magicdefendorwolf]

Injuries pt2

Description:you come back from your travels injured,how do they react?

Warnings:injuries obviously but its vague

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Blade

He was seriously trying to have a calm and nice night,but then you walked in,all injured

"Where were you?"pauses and eyes you up and down"what happened?who did that?"

He sighs,gets up and carries you to your bed and then goes to get medicine and bandages

He swears to himself he is not panicking,if someone where to say he's panicking right now he'd deny it until his dying breath and in the afterlife,but the way he rummages through the medicine cabinets and searches for bandages says a different story

Truly,his actions betray his words,he says he's all calm but just look at the way his movements seem agitated,brows just a tad furrowed together,you'd have to squint so hard to actually see it on his face

But once he's got you all patched you better expect a lecture,but it doesnt sound like a lecture if you dont know him,if you didnt know anything about him at all it'd just sound as if he was listing off all of the things you did wrong that got you into this situation,but you know thats his way of telling you that you werent careful enough and giving advice

If you cant walk or move around much while your injuries heal he'll drop by your room during meal times with food and eat together with you and then leave,if you ask him nicely maybe he'll stay to keep you company,but otherwise dont expect him to stick around too long

But if you can walk and move around well,no you cant if he considers your injuries to be too grave,then you are staying in bed whether you have the ability to move or not,no questions asked

Once you're all healed up even if you wont see it Blade becomes overprotective,as i said you wont be seeing it since it'll be very subtle things,you'd have to pick up the hints off the floor

Overall 7/10 because you'll be confined to your bed and he wont have any idea of how to keep you company,plus the sass

Jing Yuan

He was worried the moment he realized you were late

"Where were you?"pauses and looks at you"Forget it lets just get you a doctor"

He doesnt even let you respond before he swoops you up bridal style and brings you to a doctor

Once the doctor is done patching you up he takes you back home,and lays you in bed,obviously he's not panicked or alarmed,just stressed about your state

Why didnt you call him? How did this happen? Why wasnt he there?

Nethier way he'll brush all that aside to take care of you

If you have to be bedridden he'll be at your beck and call until your injuries are fully healed,keeping you entertained with stories,jokes,mindless talks and even board games

If you can move around and dont have to stay in bed then great,you're still not moving too much,because he's carrying you almost everywhere due to the fact that he's worried over you physical condition

Once you're all recovered he'll have a serious talk with you about your safety and how you can rely on him

9/10 only because of the way he's blame himself for what happened to you

Gepard

He was happy to finally use what little time he had to spend with you,but then you walked in

"Huh?! Love what happened?!"

He'd rush to your side and carry you to lay down,and despite being initially alarmed he calms down and gets his priorities in order and gets you to a doctor

After you're all patched up he'll carry you back home and do whatever he can to help you. He sees silvermane guards get injured due to monsters almost daily so he's used to injuries,but even so,seeing his partner injured like this still worries him to no end

And he wont try to hide his worries about you

He's an experienced and strong silvermane guard,heck he"s even the head of the silvermane guards,why didnt you take him along with you? He could've prevented this,the situation definetly frustrates him and he's not afraid to show it

If you cant move around much and have to stay in bed he becomes your personal butler when he's around,bringing you food,doing chores and doing his best to keep you entertained and healing

And during times when he's on duty and cant be near you he'll ask his sister for help

If you arent bedridden then you have full mama bear Gepard because, oh boy the overprotectiveness that you never knew he had comes out

You want to cook by yourself? Oh no way is he letting you on your own,he's coming to help and he'll do most of it. You want to take a walk? Sure but you only get to walk for a bit before he's carrying you

Overall 10/10,do i need to explain?

Yanqing

He was so excited for you to come back,he was basically beaming knowing you were on your way

"Ah you're finally back!"he pauses and takes a good look at you"Huh?! Are you alright?! Come lets get you to a doctor!"

Initially he'll be panicked,very,until after the doctor is done bandaging your wounds and everything,thats when he finally relaxes after he's been pacing around like a headless chicken

And you better expect a full blown lecture,dont even think you can escape this lecture through any ways

As much as he loves you,he worried so much and still is seeing you in such a state,of course he'll be scolding you about not taking care of yourself and about being reckless

When he's finally calmed down he'll be placing his arms on your bedside and place his head onto his crossed arms right at the edge of your bed and just talk to you,he'll even play with your hand while talking to you,playing with your hand and vice versa or holding hands calms him down so

If you have to be bedridden then prepare for a full alert mode Yanqing because this man right here has your whole entire treatement memorized by heart if you have one(changing bandages,medicine for the wounds,pain killers,etc.),and since he has to leave the house due to his duties he'll leave everything prepared in a way that gives you easy acces to food,board games,books,snacks,anything you'd need

If you dont have to stay in bed then great,he'll get you to move around with him hoping it'll make your wounds better,of course he wont push you beyond your limit but still,he'll also be extra careful with you asking you quite often how you're feeling and if you're alright

9/10 only because he'd be so stressed and worried over you

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[neoneun-au]

CAN'T HELP MYSELF; CHAPTER IV: HEAR ME OUT

―PAIRING: wonwoo x fem!reader, mingyu x fem!reader ―GENRE: love triangle au, fluff, mild angst, romantic comedy, suggestive, smut ―CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 11.2k ―CHAPTER WARNINGS: angst, mild language, alcohol consumption, therapy, 18+ only ―STATUS: ongoing

―AUTHOR’S NOTE: i cant link them here, but please find the series masterlist and other chapters on my blog. i would love to know your thoughts on the story so far, this is really only fun with interaction and it helps keep me motivation to finish !

iv: hear me out

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.

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The morning dawns bright and bleary-eyed and you starfish out in bed, stretching your limbs and feeling more relaxed than you’ve felt in months. You take your time getting ready–a leisurely shower, a lengthy scroll through social media, closing and re-opening the same work email five separate times to reassure yourself that this recent project was in fact not due first thing Monday morning. A weekend of peace and freedom–no looming threat of work obligations and marginally less sexual frustration than usual. Pure bliss.

Sounds of life start to filter in through your door from the hallway about an hour after you first wake up; the rest of condo inhabitants up and about after their own late Friday night escapades. You had heard a few of them coming in around 2:00am or so as you began to drift off to sleep but otherwise what time everyone got in and got to bed was a mystery to you. After a few minutes lingering at the edge of your mattress listening to your stomach rumble, you drop your feet to the ground and step out into the hallway in search of breakfast. 

Mingyu, it seems, had the exact same plan as you. His door clicks shut behind him just as you close your own and you stand facing each other like you had just run into your long lost lover at a train station someplace far from home. 

“Good morning,” he says after a beat, the hint of a smile beginning to creep in at the corners of his mouth. 

“Morning,” you reply, feeling the fog of contentment settle back down to reality as you stand opposite him–your hand tugs gingerly at the hem of your old floral nightshirt. 

“How did you sleep?” he asks and you can’t tell if there’s an edge of conspiracy in his voice, an ‘I know what you did last night’ gleam in his eye. You’re probably imagining it. You hope to god you’re imagining it.

“Quite well,” you respond, shaking off the thought and stubbornly refusing to give in to the fear that he had heard you in the midst of your fantasies. You cross your arms over your chest in defense–warding off any further psychic connection. “You?”

“Good,” he replies and you nod in acknowledgement. His gaze flitters from yours to the hallway behind you, pointedly avoiding drifting lower than your face and you realise after a second that he has a fairly decent top down view of your cleavage. You let your arms fall back down. “Got any plans today?”

“Meeting up with some friends later, but aside from that nothing, thankfully,” you reply with a shrug. “How about yourself?” 

“Not much,” he mirrors your shrug and you worry for a second that you are going to be left repeating yet another stunted hallway conversation. Thankfully he opens his mouth after a breath to continue, “Though, I think Seungcheol is trying to recruit me for some promotional video for his gym. I told him to ask Vernon since Vernon is the actor.”

“But he still wants you to do it?” you ask, closing the shutter on the mental image of Mingyu lifting weights before it can imbed itself in your subconscious alongside his bare nipples. 

“Yeah, he told me Vernon has the body of a wet noodle.” 

You laugh, the veil of tension that had descended on the pair of you relaxes back into normalcy at the comment and you’re glad for the distraction. “I would say I’m surprised but that tie-dye is pretty baggy…” you trail off with a grin and Mingyu tosses his head back in laughter before turning with you to head down the hallway. 

The kitchen is abuzz with activity when you enter, Seungcheol is deep in a lecture aimed directly at Vernon who appears to not fully be listening despite the occasional cursory nod. The distinctive scent of eggs permeates the air and you notice an array of food already laid out on the table in front of Jeonghan. 

“Morning you two,” he greets, one eyebrow raised. As usual, seeking out some sort of intrigue. “Late night?” 

“Not really,” you reply, shaking your head and refusing to take the bait. You sit down at the table and swipe a slice of bread from the side of his plate; sinking your teeth into it before he can admonish the theft. “I’ve been awake for an hour already, just hanging out in my room before joining you animals.”

“Is that so?” he asks, unwilling to give up the narrative he has built in his head. You knew confessing to him about your micro-crush (if you could even call it that) on Mingyu was a bad idea, but you thought that after the stern warning and lecture he had given you that he might actually be normal about something for once in his life. No such luck. 

You open your mouth to reply, more than ready to raise your own sword in this duel, but you’re cut off before you can begin as the rest of the household takes a seat at the table to join you.

“Mingyu, how did that date go last night?” Seungcheol asks, relieving Vernon of his lecture for now. An apparent relief as Vernon immediately gathers up a small plate of food before retreating from the kitchen completely.  

Date? The word shoots through the room like a lightning bolt. Jeonghan glances at you, fox-like features alight with malicious curiosity. You stare wide-eyed at Mingyu as he opens and closes his mouth like a trout caught in a net. “Oh uh…I cancelled it, actually,” he carefully avoids your gaze, instead burying his face in his mug of coffee. 

“Cancelled it? Why? I thought you said she was cute?” Seungcheol asks, blissfully ignorant to the relay of glances darting around him. He waits happily for Mingyu to respond, grabbing a few slices of fruit from Jeonghan’s plate before he can swat his hand away. 

“She was yeah,” Mingyu concedes with a small laugh. You see a faint hint of red starting to colour the tips of ears as all three sets of eyes around the table fix their attention fully on him, all for different reasons. He rubs at the back of his neck and feigns a nonchalant shrug, though it’s plain to see that he could not be feeling more chalant. “I just didn’t think it was really going to go anywhere, so I cancelled it.” 

Seungcheol laughs, taking a bite of his prize apple, “since when have you ever cared about it going somewhere before?” 

Mingyu bristles, hackles raised at the implication in the question. An uncharacteristic frown deepens in the corners of his mouth, marring his handsome features. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not just a slut. I do actually want a relationship.” 

You’re so caught up in listening to the exchange that you don’t notice his eyes darting to meet yours before it’s too late to avoid them. You find yourself locked in his gaze again, a beat too long to go unnoticed by Jeonghan as he chuckles next to you. 

You feel the air around you thicken and scramble to your feet to beat a hasty retreat, following in Vernon’s footsteps. With slightly trembling hands you collect a mug and grasp for the box of assorted teas from the top shelf. 

Seungcheol, it seems, has given up on ribbing Mingyu about his dating life and instead turns his attention towards you just as you try and make yourself invisible in the corner while you wait for the kettle to boil. “Ready for another jog tonight?” 

“Oh, no I uh–” you stutter, “I actually have plans tonight so I won’t be able to.”

He frowns, wide brown eyes shimmering with disappointment and you feel like you just let your parents down. “This isn’t an excuse to get out of training, is it?” he asks and you shake your head, frantic to dispel the thought. 

“No, not at all, one of my friend’s is back in the country, she lives in England and she’s only here–”

Seungcheol holds up a hand–flat, open palm halting your excuses. “Say no more,” he says, “we can reschedule for tomorrow night. Friendship is worth the sacrifice.” 

“Oh…okay thanks,” you reply, unsure of what else to do with the proverb. The kettle whistles and you pour the hot water into your mug–careful to avoid sloshing it over the sides.

Tea in hand you turn to rush back towards the safety of your bedroom as Seungcheol and Mingyu strike up a conversation about the national soccer team’s prospects. Jeonghan keeps you locked in his sights as you walk by, fixing you with an evaluating look that would be withering if it weren’t mostly just irritating. You snatch his last slice of toast without looking back.

.

.

.

The hum of the sports bar fills your senses, dulling your thoughts (a not unwelcome intrusion). 

It’s the sound of pool balls smashing against each other as they shoot across the beer-stained green top of the billiards table. The faint scent of chlorine bleach mixed with body odor and stale cigarettes. The round robin of songs floating out from the made-to-look-old jukebox in the corner. It was as familiar as it was revolting and you found yourself lost in your surroundings, half expecting an old college fling to rear his ugly head up from behind the bar. 

It had been Yerim’s idea to visit a few of your old haunts from before she moved away. Some burst of nostalgia propelling her on a mission to hunt down every decrepit pub and restaurant that you had all graced with your presence–pockets lined with scholarship and loan money intended for tuition and books but all too often spent on cold coffee and hot street food. 

Most of them had since closed for business (much to her vocal distress), but the few that she did manage to remember and locate had now become items on her itinerary during her visit. 

Thankfully work obligations had kept you busy through half of it and she was mostly content with dragging her English friend around with her, but you knew you weren’t going to be able to avoid it forever. And despite the chaos that usually followed her around like a shadow, you did want to see her before she left again.

So now you’re sitting across from Seulgi and Yerim in some sports bar in Itaewon that you barely remember the name of having been unceremoniously thrust upon arrival into the booth next to Yerim’s friend Sam. 

He’s tall, lightly moustached, and smells faintly of bargain bin cologne. He greeted you with an appraising nod that made you somehow both appalled and flattered and now he’s talking at a steady monotone into your ear about some observation on the local food or another while you sip on your lukewarm pint of ale. You’re nodding at the appropriate intervals, giving little hums of approval where needed, but your mind is occupied watching the game of darts across the bar and not actually hearing a single coherent word come out of his mouth. 

“It’s a rather tepid way to play, I always thought–” 

His voice drones on in the background, roughly the same decibel as the ambient noise of the room so it was easy to ignore. You flick your eyes from his face down to the table and back over to the group of men playing darts. You used to be good at darts. You recall the weight of the slim bolt of metal as it would rest in your palm, waiting for your turn while you were already half-cut on happy hour brews and whatever the guy of the moment was buying for you. 

“You know, I’ve always admired a woman’s natural ability to–”

One of the darts group strolls over to the bar, trying to catch the bartender’s attention as he leans against the back wall and chats with the sole waitress in the place. She looks young, maybe 21 or 22. She’s probably in college, working to pay her way through school or just for some extra spending money. That ash blonde balayage can’t be cheap to maintain…

“Don’t you think so?”

Isn’t that Wonwoo’s friend? Or boss? Or whatever? That short guy with the black ponytail throwing darts? You vaguely recall him from a work dinner years ago at their company, but according to Wonwoo he was a big homebody so you rarely ever saw him. 

“Hello, is anyone alive in there?” Seulgi’s voice cuts through your mental fog and you snap back to attention, blinking the focus back into your eyes as you notice everyone at the table staring at you. 

“What? Sorry, I thought I saw someone I knew, what were we talking about?” 

“Who?” Yerim asks, craning her neck to try and spot a familiar face. None appear in her immediate line of sight and the disappointment is evident on her expression as soon as she turns back around. You’re not sure what her intention was in dragging everyone back here but you wouldn’t put it out of the realm of possibilities that she had brewed up some fantasy of running into a washed up ex-boyfriend and getting the chance to flaunt how successful and worldly she has become over the years. Not that you could blame her for the fantasy, you would probably be doing the same in her position. 

She excuses herself to the bathroom and you watch as she slips out of her seat and saunters across the room, head bobbing side to side to make sure that there was no one there that she knew before disappearing around the corner. 

“You’re so distracted tonight,” Seulgi states, pulling your attention back to her. She’s eyeing you with suspicion, one eyebrow slightly raised, as she sets her empty pint glass down onto the table.  

“It’s just been a long time since I’ve been back here, it’s kind of weird.” You shrug off her suspicion, pointedly ignoring her amused scoff. Someone clears his throat beside you and you’re forced to remember Yerim’s gangly British friend. 

When you first met up for dinner earlier, Yerim had pulled you aside while he and Seulgi were discussing the cost of beef in Korea vs the UK to gauge your interest in him and through a series of frantic hand signals you were sure you had successfully communicated that you had absolutely zero interest in this cardigan-wearing man even if he was mostly polite and non-threatening. Yerim pouted for a minute, as she was wont to do, before shrugging and reaching for another slice of pork belly and dropping the matter. 

Afterwards, it felt like someone had let the steam vent off on a pressure cooker. You were able to relax and Yerim mostly stopped trying to force conversation between yourself and Sam.  

Without Yerim around now, though, you realise how out of his element he must feel. A twinge of guilt for how quickly you had written him off started to creep up inside you. Maybe you didn’t want anything romantic with him but did that mean you couldn’t get to know him a bit? Maybe he wasn’t all that boring. Maybe you could get lost in a nice, simple conversation with someone who didn’t have the full documented history of you or your many neuroses. 

“So, did you grow up in London?” you ask and he startles, taken off guard by the sudden attention.  

“No, uhh–” he stammers and you watch a slight layer of breath fog up his glasses as he snorts a small laugh, “it’s a funny story actually, I–”

“Oh my god!” Yerim’s voice breaks through his sentence as she rushes back towards the table–cutting him off before you have the time to decide whether it actually is a funny story or not. 

“Guys, red alert,” she stage-whispers, crashing back into her seat. She’s panting, eyes wide as saucers–for a split second you wonder if she had done a lap outside in the cold. “I just went to the bathroom and you’re never going to guess who–”

Her voice fades into the background as your vision narrows to a point. Wonwoo’s eyes catch yours from the hallway Yeri had just run back from and you feel your heart plummet to its assured death in the pit of your stomach. 

When had he gotten here? He’s half a foot taller than most of the people in here, how had you not noticed him earlier? Were you that painfully oblivious or had he crawled in under your nose? 

You sit transfixed–frozen solid at the sight of him–and judging by the expression on his face he’s just as shocked to find you here. You’re sure he hadn’t anticipated running into the girl who broke his heart in a random sports bar in Itaewon. 

Everything slows to a stop, like one of those scenes in a rom com where the main characters see each other across the room and everything else goes blurry. It’s just them, their feelings, and whatever indie love song was chosen for the soundtrack. You wonder if the actors in those scenes feel it as strongly as you do now. It would be hard to act when you feel like your stomach is going to fall directly out of your ass. 

In the span of a breath, as abruptly as it had begun, the spell is over. The director calls cut, the background actors return to normal, the sounds and sights of the bar rush back into your periphery and you’re stuck frozen in your seat, staring at Wonwoo with your jaw slightly unhinged while your friends exchange knowing glances. 

“What’s happening?” Sam asks, his voice pinging off the side of your attention like an errant tennis ball. 

“I swear I had no clue he was going to be here,” Yerim starts, an edge of panic coating her words as they spill out of her mouth. You barely hear her. You’re too busy watching in horror as Wonwoo seems to also snap back to reality. You see his eyes flit from you to Sam and back again–he seems to be hovering on the precipice of a decision, wheels turning in his mind as he considers all exit strategies. Or at least, that’s what you would be doing in his shoes. 

The horror rises higher and higher in your throat as he starts to grow bigger in your vision. A trick of the mind. The object of so many of your thoughts and anxieties exploding into IMAX sized pixels right in front of your naked eyes, expanding over the whole screen of your view until he seems to loom over you like an omnipresent being. It isn’t until he’s about a foot away from you that you realise this is just because he was walking in your direction. 

“Hey,” he greets, caution clear in his voice. 

You gape at him, open mouthed and floundering, and Seulgi (blessedly) takes over the interaction in your stead before it gets too awkward and everyone explodes in the wake of your embarrassment. “Hello,” she supplies, “did you just get here? I’m surprised we didn’t see you earlier.” 

“Yeah,” he nods, a slight awkward laugh cushioning the word as he speaks. “I’m here with some colleagues from work, one of them is a huge Arsenal fan so he wanted to catch the game down here.” 

“That’s cool,” she nods and you feel her nudge your shin with the toe of her boot under the table, forcing you out of your slack-jacked state. You snap your mouth shut and take a sip of your drink, averting your eyes from Wonwoo as you feel heat creep up your neck. 

Seulgi, uncharacteristically polite, continues, “do you remember Yerim?” the woman in question smiles at him as her name is said and he nods his acknowledgement, “she’s back in Seoul with her friend here. We’re just catching up. How have you been?”

“Good, good,” he starts and then, thinking better of it, clears his throat to retry, “well, not bad. Work and…everything, you know? How are you?”

“Oh, I’m just great,” Seulgi smiles and boots you again. You take the hint and finally lift your gaze, catching Wonwoo’s eyes as they flicker over your face. 

“How are you?” he asks again, voice softer. The question is directed at you and you feel the weight of it sink in as you try and sort through your scrambled thoughts for any semblance of a coherent response. 

“Fine uh, yeah,” you nod, head bobbing on your neck like a loose spring. “Good. Long time no–umm…Jihoon, is that? How’s every–? You’re? He’s–work good?” 

Wonwoo is silent for a second, processing the tangle of words that had just spilled free from your mouth, before you see him connect the dots. “Yeah, he’s doing well. Work is…well the same as always, really. Not much changes there.” 

“Right, yeah,” you nod, a pained half smile stretching over your face. You’re sure you look horrific–terrified or terrifying. The heat continues to rise up your neck and into your head, further suppressing any hope for conscious, articulate thought as you buckle under the weight of Wonwoo’s gaze. Seulgi kicks you under the table a third time and you think you might scream. 

“I was uh,” he pauses, chuckling lightly. You can see his fingers clutching at the edges of his sleeves, worrying a loose thread as he collects himself. You watch as he wraps and unwraps the thread around his index finger, twisting the rest of the fabric up in his fist. He’s anxious. 

You remember making fun of him once–early in your relationship–for this habit. He was even more shy and reserved back then, unable or unwilling to tell you what he was thinking half the time, and unsure the other half. But you could always tell, once he started tugging his sleeves further and further down his arms–hiding his wrists, then hands–that he had something he needed to say. Something he had been worrying about for a while. Truthfully you found it cute, a grown man with sweater paws like a child in his dad’s clothing, but you couldn’t help but tease him anyway. He looked so sweet when he blushed about it, continuing to tug at the ends of his sleeves. And you just wanted him to tell you. You wanted to know, whatever it was on his mind, fraying the ends of his sleeves.  

Wonwoo clears his throat and you refocus your gaze on him, heat slowly draining back down through your neck as you do. The feeling of being hunted for sport subsides as you come to your senses finally. “I was actually going to text you, but I just…” he trails off and you nod, encouraging him to continue. You’re sure the three extra sets of eyes boring holes into him with the laser beams of their curiosity is not helping his anxiety. Your own dangerous cocktail of anxious curiosity was a second away from implosion itself. 

“There’s some stuff…at the apartment. Mail and…a few things you left behind. I thought you might want to come and pick them up, but I wasn’t sure if…” he gestures vaguely and you nod again. A strange swell of disappointment starts to creep in. That’s it? 

“Oh yeah, of course,” you say, swallowing the disappointment down as quickly as it comes. What else could you have been expecting? “I’ll come and take those off your hands. Just um…text me when you’re free?” 

He nods and, after a quick wave goodbye, heads back towards the small group of men that had been watching from across the bar. Your eyes follow his retreating back, watching his hands clasp and unclasp the fabric of his sweater as he does, before turning your attention back to your own group. 

“Oh my god,” Yerim exclaims in a stage whisper, eyes saucer wide with glee. “He wants you to come over!” 

You frown, the intrusive feeling of disappointment returning, “just to pick up some stuff, don’t be so dramatic.”

“Oh who cares about a bit of old mail, I would have just thrown it out if I were him,” she huffs, blowing a strand of hair out of her line of sight.

“Isn’t that a crime?” Sam asks but the question falls on deaf ears against the wall of possibilities that Yerim is now crafting in her labyrinthine mind of reality tv plots. 

“Listen,” she starts, pointing an accusatory finger in your direction and you wonder why you’re being lectured to all of a sudden. You haven’t even fully processed running into Wonwoo in the first place. You aren’t even sure you’re inhabiting a corporeal form right now. “Clearly he’s still in love with you.”

“Oh please,” you start but she shakes her head, resolute. 

“Don’t fool yourself, what scorned ex-boyfriend goes out of his way to run into the love of his life in a sports bar accidentally.” She throws heavy air quotes around the word ‘accidentally’ and you just roll your eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure it was just accidental,” Seulgi chimes in, the voice of reason. 

“Yes, thank you, Seulgi. This is just a weird coincidence,” you sigh, spinning your glass around on its coaster.

“Or fate,” she beams and you want to laugh but the feeling dies before the sound can materialize. It feels too pathetic. 

“Strange thing for fate to do, months after I’ve already broken up with him.” 

“Wait, you broke up with him?” Sam asks, now invested in the drama despite all lack of knowledge surrounding the people and situations involved. You envy his ignorance.  

You sigh and nod, “yes. I broke his heart and then left some reminders of it around the apartment we used to share so he’s asking me to come and take them so he doesn’t have to deal with it anymore.” Yerim opens her mouth to speak but you stop her with a glare, “it is not his way of somehow getting me back into his life, he’s just too nice to throw my stuff out without warning.”

“But what if–”

“No, there is no ‘if’. This is it. I’m going to go there, pick up my mail, say goodbye and that will be it. We’ll never have any reason to see each other again and he can move on and date someone else and I–”

I can too, you think–swallowing the words. 

“I’m sorry, I’m confused,” Sam says, breaking the spell of silence that had descended on the table. “You broke up with him but…you want him back? Or he wants you back? How long have you guys been broken up?”

“I’ll explain later,” Yerim whispers.

“No, no you won’t, because I don’t think you know completely either,” you sigh, angling to face Sam but aiming the bulk of the speech right towards Yerim herself. You glance across the room briefly–a cautionary look to make sure Wonwoo isn’t in earshot. 

He’s leaning up against the far wall, pool cue in hand, watching as Jihoon leans over the table to line up a shot. The old Wonwoo would have left the second he saw you here, but there he is. Standing within 15 feet of you without breaking out into a cold sweat (as far as you can tell). 

Maybe he has changed, you think. He must have felt you watching him because his eyes meet yours for a split second before you tear your gaze away from him–stare burning a hole into the table next to your hands.  

You sigh again, feeling like you’ve aged 10 years in the past hour. “I broke up with him because I didn’t think either of us could give the other person what they needed. It was hard, and I still,” you blink back the threat of tears as they start to form in your eyes. Whether tears of frustration or otherwise you didn’t exactly feel like crying in a bar in front of your ex-boyfriend and some random British dude. “I still love him but I’m not in love with him. I’m moving on and…so is he.” You conclude, remembering the last time you ran into him. The girl he was with. The cold shock of ice water in your veins. 

“I still don’t–” Sam starts but Seulgi cuts him off, her radar detecting the potential torrential downpour of anxiety and stress that is clouding your current emotional landscape. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she waves the topic away with a swing of her hand, dismissing all further comments on the matter and releasing you of the risk of overexplaining yourself once again. “What’s done is done and whatever will happen will happen and it’s not up to us to decide what the best decision is when we’re not actually involved. So, are we getting another round or should I call a taxi?” 

“Ooh, I was hoping we could go get some food now actually, there’s this super cute toast place a few blocks from here that I’ve been following on Insta and I need to get a pic with their neon displays.” Yerim, whether consciously or not, pivots immediately into a spiel about the rest of her plans for her vacation. You exhale slowly, relief sinking into your bones, and mouth a ‘thank you’ to Seulgi before she gets up to pay. 

You sit silent, alone with your thoughts for a moment, and trace idle patterns over the wood grain of the table; listening to Yerim ramble as she takes Sam on an Instagram-based tour of all the places she intends on dragging him to for the next few days. Seulgi returns after closing out the tab and everyone starts gathering their things to leave, Yerim excitedly narrating the toast menu as you do. 

Before you step out onto the night, you chance a final look across the bar towards Wonwoo to find him in the same position he was when you last dared to look at him. His eyes, slightly obscured by his glasses, were still fixed on you and you wonder if he had looked away at all over the past few minutes. He nods once, a minute tilt of the head, barely registerable unless you were paying as close of attention as you were, and you return it in kind before falling in line behind Seulgi and turning away from him. 

It’s not until the cold air hits you that you start to feel the heat of his eyes dissipate into the night. 

.

.

.

Minghao sits across from you, glasses perched delicately at the tip of his nose. His brown eyes evaluate you in silence as you adjust your posture in the brown leather wingback chair in his office–simultaneously too aware of your body and not aware enough to find a comfortable position. You finally give up fidgeting and decide to just tuck your wayward hands under your thighs to trap them there, offering him a small apologetic smile which he does not return, but he does nod and that is something isn’t it? 

It’s been years since you saw a therapist. The last one was at university, just before the start of the second term in your second year. Right at the cusp of a break up and a full blown anxiety induced existential crisis. The persistent thoughts of ‘oh god I’m ruining my life I need to drop out or change majors or move to Australia and work with the Wildlife Warriors Foundation’ had devoured every sane idea you had until you found yourself in shambles in the Students’ Union all but begging for help. 

The counsellor you had seen then had listened to you ramble in near silence before printing out some worksheets on deep belly breathing and anxiety management and sent you on your merry way to figure it out for yourself. So you did, eventually (though your GPA took a bit of a hit that semester), with some help from Seulgi and a TA that had taken pity on you and two years later you were graduating with a Bachelor of Design with a Minor in Print Media and those worksheets were buried somewhere deep in the recesses of your room, unread save a cursory glance. 

This time felt different. 

Instead of the wildfire of desperation and despair that had propelled you into the office in University all those years ago, you had (of mostly sound mind) reached out to Minghao with a formal request for an appointment and scheduled a time to sit down. For a few days leading up to the appointment you tried to collect your thoughts, formulate a plan for what you wanted to get out of these sessions, and corral your myriad of feelings into a neat script to recite to him—carefully crafted to best convey your current dilemma and also avoid a lot of those little things you did not feel quite ready to face yet.

“So,” he starts, offering you a small smile to ease the tension that always fills the office during first appointments, “let’s start with what you’re hoping to achieve from this session, and any going forward. What are your goals?” 

Despite all your careful preparation, your mind goes as white as a sheet of paper. Goals? You ponder the word. Unsure now if you’ve ever had any goals at all or if you’d just been floating along aimlessly this whole time, somehow still alive through mere circumstance.

To be less of an anxious wreck? Sure, maybe that was one. But was it a goal or just a product of your neuroses? Were you even really that anxious or did you just overthink everything too much? Is that the same thing? Did you want to tell him that? 

You chastise yourself silently, steering your errant thoughts away from the cliff they always careened off of and trying to remember the lists you had scribbled down prior to this appointment. 

“I think,” you start, wincing at the weakness of the verb. How unsure you must appear to him. You glance at his face briefly. It’s carefully composed–no hint of the impatience you’re sure he must be feeling. “I mean, I was hoping we would be able to work on my trust issues and um…anxieties in relationships, find out the roots of those,” you start again, following the script you had mentally prepared, “and maybe come up with some strategies to heal from past relationships and maybe make future ones…easier?” 

Good, good, you breathe a sigh of relief. These were not insane things to say. You are a normal person and these are normal goals.

“Okay,” he says, “that’s a good place to start as far as an end goal.” You smile, being careful not to let it grow too big to appear too pleased at the validation. Minghao continues, “when you say ‘relationships’, I’m assuming you are meaning mostly romantic relationships, correct?” 

You fool, how could you forget to clarify that! 

You feel a rush of mild panic swell up in your esophagus but you stave it off. You nod, clearing your throat, “yes, romantic relationships, exactly.” 

“They all tend to overlap in a lot of ways but I just want to make sure we’re on the same page,” he smiles again, that same soft smile, and you worry he noticed you were starting to panic. “Why don’t you tell me about your last relationship?” 

An open-ended question, okay okay. We were prepared for this, you coach yourself in silence, flipping through the mental pages of notes. Thankfully this one was easy. You had turned the problem of ‘me and Wonwoo’ in your mind over and over like a rotisserie chicken. You knew it inside and out. Every juicy morsel, every dry bone. 

“We were together for three, almost four, years before we broke up, lived together for two. We met through mutual friends at a party and just…it was just us from there. Me and Wonwoo, Wonwoo and I, always together in the same sentence and the same places. It was a good relationship, but I just…I don’t know if we were compatible, really.”

“Well, you were together for 3 years, it’s hard to spend that much time with someone you’re entirely incompatible with,” Minghao interjects and you grimace in spite of yourself. “Is there anything specific that makes you feel like that was the case?” 

“Specific…” you hum the word out loud. Despite all of the sleepless nights spent wondering this exact same thing alone, you were having a hard time summoning up any examples. “No, nothing…I don’t know,” you feel your house of cards start to lose its balance, the cracks begin to show. 

“Let’s reframe, then,” Minghao suggests, noting the distress beginning to creep into your voice. “What attracted you to him in the first place? What made you think ‘yeah, I do want to date this guy’?”

“He was hot,” you shrug then when Minghao doesn’t laugh at the flippant comment, you backpedal. Embarrassment creeping in at the edges. Clearly your tactic of deflecting with humour had no power here. “I mean, obviously I was physically attracted to him, and since we met at a party that was sort of initially the only thing I cared about. But as I got to know him I think he was just…different.” 

“Different in what way? From your usual type?” 

“Yeah,” you nod, extending the hands of your memory into the past. Trying to grasp at the Wonwoo you fell in love with in the first place. “He was quiet, and he listened–listens really well. He’s smart, too. Could have been a doctor or professor but he said the amount of school needed for that wasn’t worth it. Which I guess I sort of agree with, it was just a shame.”

You glance at Minghao, who is still watching you from under the rim of his wire-frame glasses. You wonder briefly how he and Mingyu met. Whether or not it had been a good idea to book in with a therapist that was a good friend of your roommate/budding romantic interest. He wouldn’t tell him any of this…would he? 

Minghao’s expression betrays no answer to these questions, just a silent cue for you to continue. 

You sigh, releasing the thoughts, and do so, “before him, I had always dated really active guys. Guys that liked to be the life of the party, that always had something to say and never second guessed themselves. I was attracted to that confidence. I thought it was nice to be with someone brash and loud. It made me feel less alone in my own loudness and chaos. They never lasted, but they were always fun. Everything was so exciting and I was never bored. Even when it was bad it felt…dramatic. Like a movie. And it was college so I didn’t really ever feel like I had to sit down and ponder why the relationships didn’t last, only that they didn’t. We fought too much, partied too often, the whole relationship was just some drunk fling, whatever. It didn’t matter.”

“But Wonwoo was so…not any of that. He would come out to parties if I asked him to, but he usually spent them in the corner talking about books or petting a cat or following me around. He always wanted to leave early. He was always so eager to be at home.”

“And you weren’t?” Minghao asks and you barely register the question before you’re hurrying along to answer it. 

“No, yes. I don’t know. At first I found it quite sweet–like he just wanted to spend a lot of alone time with me. And it was so novel and different that I never stopped to think it might be something I didn’t like.”

“At first?” Minghao clarifies and you nod. 

“After a little while, I started to feel like I was forcing him to go out when he didn’t want to. I was being the overbearing, annoying girlfriend dragging him to these parties against his will. So I stopped going to a lot of them, and the ones that I did go to I said I could just go alone.” 

“Did you ever ask him whether he felt the same way?” The question brings your thought train to a dead stop. Minghao can see the confusion twisting your brows so he continues, “you stopped going to parties because you thought you were being annoying by dragging him along but did you ever ask if he felt like he was being burdened by these outings?” 

“No, I just…he never…he didn’t look like he was having a good time,” you flounder for an explanation, trying to remember what it was that had brought you to this conclusion in the first place. Had you ever talked to him about it? Were you just making all of this up?

“I’m not saying you’re wrong, maybe he really didn’t enjoy them. From what you’re telling me, he definitely does seem like more of a homebody,” he says, but you take little comfort in the words. “I am wondering, though, what brought you to this assumption without him mentioning anything about it. Did he ever say that he didn’t want to go? Or that he wished you wouldn’t?” 

“I don’t…I can’t remember…” you say slowly, mind fogging up. A cloud of confusion overcrowding your thoughts.  

“That’s okay,” he says but you do not feel like it is okay, actually. Had you ruined everything years ago without even realising? Was scheduling this appointment a mistake? “I don’t want you to overanalyze the specifics, those are often the least important part especially when something is in the past. We can’t change those things, only learn from them. It’s just helpful to know whether or not these trust issues have manifested more internally or because of external situations. To find out where they tend to stem from.”

You nod, the clock on the wall ticks as your thoughts wind through time. You want, so desperately, for there to be some solid memory to tie this all back to. Something from your past or your childhood to point to and say ‘look, there it is!’ A magical moment to blame all your issues on so that you can be born from this session a new person. But sadly nothing was ever that simple, and you couldn’t ever remember not being this way. Were you just…like this? Some untenable part of you broken at birth, barring you from ever developing a healthy, functioning relationship without feeling like you’re sacrificing some integral part of yourself while you do so? Or without feeling like it was all some illusion bound to disperse into smoke and mirrors with the snap of someone’s fingers?

“What are you thinking?” Minghao asks, clearly taking note of the darkening of your expression. The tension creeping into your brow. You don’t want to tell him. Don’t want the confirmation of being beyond help. 

Or maybe that’s not it. Maybe it’s the opposite that you’re afraid of. That this image of self as someone floundering through life with all these worries and struggles, someone broken beyond measure, has just been that–an image. Something you made up to keep yourself safe somewhere along the way and really you could just change it all if you felt like that. If you threw off your cape of comfort and accepted the help you’ve so long denied. 

“I just,” you start, rubbing at a sore spot developing on your temple. You try to push through the sudden urge to bolt out of his office right now and not look back. “I don’t know, maybe it’s stupid but I feel like I fucked everythig up. Like it’s my fault, and maybe if I could have just talked to him or trusted that he lo–loved me despite our differences…maybe everything would have been okay.” The distinct prickling of tears starts to burn behind your eyes but you blink them away, not willing to give into them so easily. 

“Maybe,” he starts and you feel a pang of icy shock at the acceptance of this self-blame. You had expected the same pity and denial you get from Seulgi. You keep your gaze fixed on a small scuff on the top of his nice brown leather shoe, unable to meet his eyes as he continues. “Maybe if you had been able to accept that you are worthy of love from someone, regardless of your perceived flaws, or if you had been able to communicate more openly to be able to meet both of your needs within the relationship, maybe things would have been different.”

He pauses, whether for dramatic effect or to let you process what he’s saying, you’re not sure. You suspect the latter, but considering he’s a friend of Mingyu’s you can’t be completely certain. 

“Maybe, or maybe not. Maybe even if you had done everything perfectly and nothing had ever gone wrong you still would have broken up. A break up is not a failure–not of the relationship and not of the individuals within it. There is always the chance that you had just outgrown each other without either of you fully realising it, and that’s okay. We don’t examine our past to further deepen self-blame and pity, we do it so we can learn what we need from them and accept these lessons so we can carry them forward into our future. And that doesn’t mean that we won’t have more break ups or more perceived failures, it just hopefully means we will be able to accept them as part of the process instead of a barrier to it.” 

The speech slots itself into your brain, wiggling between long believed ideas and perspectives that had lived in there for years. Forcing its way in between them all. You feel it nestle in, planting its seeds until you can fully appreciate the thoughts he’s offering you. For now, you try to just fend off the part of you that resists everything he’s saying and listen to the (slightly quieter) part that knows you need to hear it. 

“Do you–” you start, pausing to clear your throat of the lump that had built up while he spoke. “Do you think I will be able to get to…to that point?”

“Yes,” he nods, decisive. “How long it takes, though, will depend entirely on how willing you are to change. The fact that you’re here meeting with me shows you are at least ready, in part, to begin the process of releasing these old thought patterns. But there is no magic pill, and it takes time and effort. I am here to help, but ultimately it’s only you that can make this change.” 

“And if I can’t change?”

“You can,” he says, shutting down the doubt immediately, “if you choose to.” Sensing your next question he continues, “and if you don’t then you continue life as you are and it changes you. The self is an adaptive state–always transforming. With or without my help or your conscious effort, change will happen. It’s just smoother a lot of the time if you can work with it instead of waiting for it to happen to you.” 

.

.

.

“This is really too much, Mingyu.” 

A plume of steam bursts out of the pot on the stovetop as Mingyu lifts the lid off to taste the sauce. He rears his head back to avoid the heat but still plunges his spoon-wielding hand into the steamy abyss to stir at the bottom of the liquid. 

You watch, leaning against the counter behind him, in a state of concerned bemusement as he takes a few minutes to adjust the heat on his various pots and pans. 

“What do you mean?” he asks, turning around and mopping the sweat off his brow with the dish towel he had draped over his shoulder. A few stray rivulets of steam trace their way down his neck and disappear into the collar of shirt. You try (unsuccessfully) to avoid thinking about the sheen on his skin as it glints in the light of the kitchen. 

“All this,” you gesture vaguely to the arranged on the table, the splatters of food on his well-worn “Kiss The Cook” apron (a gag gift from Jeonghan, apparently). ”I figured we would just…I don’t know, order some fried chicken or something,” you explain but his expression remains puzzled. “You know, just casual. It’s just Seulgi.” 

“Does she not like Italian?” he asks, a look of mild panic starting to etch into the corners of his eyes. “I knew I should have asked but I thought Italian would be the safest, most people like pasta but if she doesn’t–”

“No, no,” you cut him off before he can spiral further, “she likes Italian food, I’m pretty sure it’s one of her favourites actually, but I mean like…it’s just Seulgi.”

“But she’s your friend,” he states the fact like it should explain the fresh baked focaccia cooling on the counter behind him or the ludacris wine bill you got a look at earlier in the day. “Do you not like Italian food? If you really want fried chicken we can order some.” 

One of the pot lids sputters with the force of steam it’s holding back and you choke back a laugh as Mingyu whips around to stir it back into submission. 

“No, no, I love pasta I–” you pause, words dangling on the precipice of your lips, ready to say more, but you think better of it, remembering what Minghao had said at the end of your session about controlling outcomes. “Thank you for doing all this, I’m sure she’ll love it.” 

He grins wide, relieved, and you pack away your lingering worries before leaving him to battle the remains of dinner alone. 

The living room has transformed over the space of a few hours–soft lighting and soft blankets adorn the area and you’re greeted by the faint scent of grapefruit as Vernon moves around the room lighting a series of candles. 

“Are we proposing to her?” you ask, taken aback by the effort put forth by all of your roommates. 

“Do you think she’d say yes?” Vernon quips, turning around with a half-smile, and you roll your eyes.

When you had told them you were thinking of inviting Seulgi over for dinner (ostensibly to meet everyone, but more so to have a night with her where you didn’t have to bother leaving the comfort of your own home) they had reacted…minimally. Mingyu seemed excited at the prospect of hosting a dinner party and apparently had run wild with the power of doing so, but you didn’t think the other three had much cared beyond a vague curiosity about your friend. But even Jeonghan, who already knew Seulgi well, had gone to the trouble of purchasing flowers to liven up the living space. 

“I just don’t know why everyone is treating this like we’re having an idol over or something,” you shake your head, flopping down on the couch and letting your head fall back against the cushion. 

“Well,” Vernon says, taking a seat next to you, “to be honest, it’s mostly Mingyu that insisted on all of it.” 

“Why?” Curiosity bubbles up and you take a cursory glance back towards the kitchen where Mingyu is still standing, glistening over the stove top as he maneuvers various dishes and pots around. You knew he was prone to overdoing things like this if your first big meal with the household was anything to judge from, but why would he bother to go to such lengths just to impress your friend that honestly would have been more than happy with a plate of fried chicken and a cold beer.  

Vernon just shrugs before pushing himself off the couch into a full body stretch. “Well,” he says, “you know Mingyu.” 

I guess I do, you think, curiosity unsatisfied by the lack of answers. You know Jeonghan might give you more insight but whether it was truthful or if you wanted to bear the brunt of his scrutiny for even asking was another question. Instead, you try to just let it go and text Seulgi an inquiry into her ETA while you listen to the clamour of dishes in the kitchen as Mingyu finishes assembling his feast. 

Fifteen minutes and three introductions later, you’re all seated around the candlelit table passing around a dish of tajarin al tartufo. 

“Where did you even get white truffles at this time of year?” Seulgi asks, sipping gingerly from her glass of Chardonnay (specially chosen for the occasion). 

“I know some people in the industry,” Mingyu replies, tone casual–you can still see the glimmer of pride shimmering his eyes in the dim lighting however. 

“Oh, do you work in the culinary sector?” 

“No, not at all,” he shakes his head, “but I did a bit during school so I kept in touch with some people that way. Plus some of the people I graduated with ended up in the acquisitions side of the restaurant business.”

“Well,” she nods, setting down her glass, “I’m surprised honestly, this is like restaurant quality food. I wouldn’t have been shocked if you told me you were a chef.”

Mingyu brushes off the compliment with another laugh, but his smile again betrays how pleased he is by the validation. “It’s just a hobby, really. I like cooking for people.” 

“And we’re happy to benefit from it,” Jeonghan chimes in, “we’d surely be starving if it wasn’t for our private cook.”

“Hey, I can cook,” Seungcheol grumbles, reaching for another slice of focaccia. 

Jeonghan pats his arm with a solemn nod, acknowledging his skillset. “You’d get by fine, but these other two?” he gestures vaguely in yours and Vernon’s directions with a shake of his head, “hopeless.”

“Who needs to cook in this golden age of delivery?” Vernon asks, and you nod your agreement. 

“Someone on a broke actor’s wage, maybe.”

“Touché,” Vernon shrugs, uninterested in defending himself further. “Won’t be broke much longer though, I booked a gig for next week so get ready for riches beyond our wildest imaginations.”

“Oh congratulations, what’s this one? Another commercial for a dog grooming spa?”

“Nope,” Vernon says, brushing off the light dig at his resume, “a bit part in a drama on KBS. I’ve got a name and a line and everything.” 

“Riches beyond our wildest imaginations, hey?” Mingyu jokes, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“Yeah, well, I don’t know what your imagination is like. It does pay though,” he shrugs, content to inhale another forkful of pasta.

“That’s actually great, Vernon,” you say, diverting the round of teasing towards something more supportive. “Congratulations.” 

“Thanks,” he replies, casual as always, “it's something at least. Saves me from having to go work retail for a bit anyway.” 

“Well, if you do need a job at any point after this my cafe is hiring, I just had to fire my last guy,” Seulgi says, setting her fork down at the side of her plate. 

“What happened this time?” you ask. You’ve been out of the loop of cafe drama for far too long. You were having trouble remembering if this was the same guy as the one that kept mixing up decaf and blonde roast. 

“He got in a fist fight with a customer.”

“What? Like…at work?” 

“Yeah,” she replies, dabbing at her mouth with the edge of a napkin. “To be fair the customer he beat up was sleeping with his girlfriend and he hadn’t exactly expected to see him there after finding out but still…it looks bad on me if I let it slide.”

“Still working at the cafe?” Jeonghan asks, “what happened to the start up?”

Seulgi grimaces and you can feel the annoyance seeping through her pores at the mention of her old job, the bitterness from the whole fiasco still running deep in her veins. “It went tits up, and turns out the CEO was embezzling money from the company so there weren’t even any severance packages. Haven’t been able to find anything since then, it’s a nightmare.” 

“You work in tech?” Mingyu asks, leaning over to refill Seulgi and your wine glasses, finishing off the last of the bottle. 

“Software development,” she replies with a nod of thanks for the wine. 

“I might know someone hiring for Samsung, I could ask around for you if you want?” he offers, sitting back down in his chair across from you. 

“You know someone that works at Samsung?” she balks and you watch her expression shift to open excitement at the possibility. 

“I do,” he nods, “he was a nepotism hire, honestly, his dad is head of logistics but he owes me a huge favour so I could ask.” 

“Mingyu,” she says, eyes narrowed to fine points as she stares at him from across the table, “I will give you my first born child in payment.” 

“Oh, uh–” he laughs, a tinge of colour reddening the tips of his ears. “It’s no big deal, really. Just happy to help a friend.” 

His eyes flicker towards yours in the candlelight and you offer him a soft smile of approval. The look does not go unnoticed by Jeonghan, a slow, sly grin spreading over his features as he drains the last of his wine. Conversation drifts, continuing to flow throughout the hour, as time melts away with the candle wax dripping onto the table cloth.

Once the food is polished off the group moves into the living room to play some games and to no one’s surprise, Seungcheol ends up winning most of the rounds of Jenga through sheer intimidation alone. Seulgi, however, does manage to best him at Uno which immediately results in a half-pouted plea for a one-on-one rematch. Vernon excuses himself to head to bed early for an audition in the morning and Jeonghan lingers behind to watch the match, betting on Seunghceol’s downfall much to the man’s chagrin. 

You stay for a minute, watching the cards fly across the table with a vengeance, before your attention shifts to the sounds of running water and clinking of dishes coming from the kitchen. Mingyu took the revenge match as an opportunity to clean up from dinner and a pang of guilt bounds through you at the thought of him doing both the cooking and cleaning for the night entirely alone. 

“Do you want a hand?” He’s hunched over the sink as you enter the kitchen and walk towards him–tall frame bending to accommodate the height of the counter, scrubbing at a stubborn spot on a pot. 

“You don’t have to,” he replies, glancing over his shoulder, “I can handle it.” 

“Mingyu, you already cooked for everyone, the least you can do is let me dry them or something.” 

He evaluates you for a moment, confirming that your offer isn’t born purely from pity, before nodding, “alright, these pots are clean already if you want to start there.”

You nod and grab a clean tea towel from the drawer next to the stove, moving to stand hip to hip with him at the sink. You work in companionable silence, nothing but the squeak of soap on porcelain and the distant complaints of Seungcheol as Seulgi hits him with another pick up 4 card. 

You had never hosted any gatherings at your apartment with Wonwoo. Not that it was ever something he said he didn’t want, it just never came up. He tended to use his home as a retreat from the world and while you loved a good get together, you weren’t much of a host yourself, preferring instead to just join in when invited. Tonight was your first real, adult dinner party and while you hadn’t actually been much of an active participant in the planning of said party, it still felt like you had some ownership over it.

Now, standing here in tandem with Mingyu, cleaning up while your guest and other roommates were occupied with each other, you had to admit that there was something so comfortably domestic about the whole thing. You were surprised at how natural it felt, and you knew that if you let your mind amble down the path of no return, you would find yourself in this same position over and over again in your imagination. Scrubbing pots next to the man that had just fed you and your friends pasta.

“Did you have a good time?” Mingyu asks, sensing your thoughts and cutting them off at the head before they can get the best of you again.

You pick up the last pot in the stack, letting your hands continue working as you nod, a soft smile gracing your lips, “I did, yeah. It was really nice.”

“Good,” he sighs, letting a soft laugh out with his breath, “I’m glad. Wasn’t too much in the end, then?” 

“No,” you reply, soothing the hint of insecurity in his question. “It was perfect. Sounds like Seulgi had a good time as well.” 

“That’s a relief,” he says, dipping his hands back into the sink to finish wiping off the last few plates. 

“Were you worried she wouldn’t?” you laugh, slightly incredulous at the lack of confidence coming from a man who just cooked you a Michelin star worthy dinner. 

“No, I just,” he laughs again, hesitation creeping back into his voice. “I wanted to make a good impression.”

“I don’t think you could have made a bad one,” you mumble, wiping your hands off on the tea towel before hanging it on the cupboard hook to dry out. 

“Well, that’s good,” Mingyu says, angling his body towards yours after pulling the plug in the sink drain, “because I…” he pauses, hesitant. You turn to face him, watching as he tugs the hot pink kitchen gloves off his hands and sets them down at the side of the sink. A faint blush is spreading out over his cheeks and for a second you wonder if he might not be feeling well. 

“Mingyu–” you start–unsure whether to inquire about his well being or just to prompt him to continue. He raises his gaze to meet yours and you get the distinct feeling that he just made some sort of decision, come to some resolution within himself. 

“Listen, I…” he starts and you maintain his gaze, heart picking up pace in your chest as your thoughts fly at a mile a minute trying to guess what he’s about to say. “I’m sorry if this is too forward or something, but the whole reason I went to all of this trouble tonight was for you.” 

“Me?” 

“I like you,” he blurts the words out without ceremony, stumbling over them as they tumble from his mouth. You stand still, a few feet away from him, in shock as the laughter from the living room fades to a distant murmur. “I think you’re beautiful, and funny, and smart and I would like to get to know you more and I know you’re still getting over a break up so I’m not trying to…pressure you or anything. And I know that maybe this is super awkward given that we live together and everything, but I just needed to tell you before I start to feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“Oh.” It’s the only word you can manage. You feel like your brain is stuck on a loading screen as your mouth frantically tries to hit refresh. Nothing happens. You’ve lost connection.

“And if you don’t feel the same now, or ever, that’s okay. But I just needed to tell you that,” he sighs, “that I like you. And I’m very interested in you, and I get the feeling that you are also interested in me but if I’m wrong or it’s too soon then that’s okay. I can wait. Or not. Up to you. But…I like you.” 

“I, umm…” You try. Try to form a coherent thought or sentence but nothing comes to you. Internally, you’re screaming at yourself. Isn’t this what you wanted? Haven’t you been pining after this man since you moved in here? What’s the hold up now? 

All these questions, self chastisements, and more come spilling forward in your brain. A flood of confusion clouding all your judgement as you stand frozen in the middle of the kitchen in front of a man that is still waiting for you to reply to him. A man that has just laid all his cards out on the table for you to see. No tricks, no reversals, just ‘I like you’ in plain language. No guesswork. And still, all of your fears and worries and anxieties overwhelm you anyway. 

“You don’t have to say anything now,” he says, finally, giving up on waiting for your brain to kick in. “But, if you do…feel the same…you know where to find me. And if not then,” he laughs, attempting to clear away some of the awkwardness lingering in the air as a result of your inability to speak, “then I hope we can still be friends and I haven’t…made this too weird or anything.” 

A loud uproar booms out from the living room–Jeonghan’s victorious laughter accompanied by Seungcheol’s cries of devastation. Another win for Seulgi. Mingyu glances behind you towards the sound before smiling and brushing past you, leaving you to pick up your jaw from the tile floor. 

“I really have to go now,” you hear Seulgi say–closer behind you now as the games draw to a close. You snap to attention, shaking off your temporary paralysis, and turn to rejoin the group feeling like an entirely different person than when you had left them barely 30 minutes ago. 

“One more game, all or nothing,” Seungcheol urges, but she shakes her head. 

“I don’t think you can afford to lose another one,” she says with a smile, “and I really need to get back home, I’m opening in the morning. Thank you for the dinner, Mingyu, it was great. And I look forward to hearing from you friend.” 

“Of course,” he replies, the picture of a good host. He hands her her coat from the hallway closet before wishing her a good night and disappearing towards his bedroom. After some prompting Jeonghan and Seungcheol follow suit. 

Seulgi turns to you with a smile, but it falls from her face the second she sees the slightly dumbfounded expression still plastered on your own. “Are you ok?” 

“M-me? Yeah, fine, I just…” you pause, wavering on the option of telling her what just happened but the second you get close to the confession you stall. You don’t want to. Not yet. Not until you’ve reckoned with it on your own. “I think I’m just coming down with a cold.”

“You have a terrible immune system,” she says, shaking her head. “Well, good night then. Call me tomorrow, hopefully you feel better after some rest.” 

“I will, I will,” you nod, opening the door for her as she slips into her shoes. “Text me when you get home.” 

She waves a final goodbye and you watch her walk towards the elevator before closing the door and twisting the lock. With a sigh you lean against the solid wood, grateful for the support as you continue to try to regather your wits. Mingyu’s confession replays, over and over like a highlight reel in your mind.

This is a good thing, isn’t it?

© 2024, neoneun-au. all rights reserved.

―AUTHOR’S NOTE: i cant link them here, but please find the series masterlist and other chapters on my blog. i would love to know your thoughts on the story so far !

[the-s1lly-corner]

HI there, hate to bother you but i was wondering if you could do the amazing digital circus head canons for a gn! reader who acts a lot like ena

if you have never heard of it you can check on the ena wiki but i would really love if you did something like this so thanks

TADC x ENA type!GN!reader

typically i would do all the characters in one post, but its starting to get late and tumblr wont let me save half answered asks in my drafts for some reason TToTT so im gonna split the cast in half, if you want the rest of the characters you can send in a second ask so i can remember to do everyone else :0! also my apolocheese for any personality mistakes, i think i watched ena a long time ago but was confused/didnt watch the whole thing so uh uh!! relying on a character wiki for this (on that focuses on season 1 so uh uh, idk if that will impact anything) little bonus bonus incorporating enas color thing into this cuz uh we can say its digital world stuff ooo that gives me an oc idea; oc whos like the mayor from nightmare before christmas who has a spinny head/face thing that relates to their emotions

CAINE:

caines is going to be shorter because hes just your number one fan regardless of your personality, in fact he probably has a silly shirt with your face on it somewhere

will do everything in his power to make sure youre happy and content, and will do everything to cheer you up when you switch over to your sad side

takes you to wherever it is that he 'sleeps' when you get overwhelmed by stuff and keeps you there until both of you are sure that youll be okay and your blues are long gone

you and him easily match energies, sometimes he will even try to one up you with using fancy intricate words

POMNI:

writing pomnis part first but oh funny is it that pomni and ena have the same VA

anyways

absolutely loves you, but she is so so worried about stressing you out and switching to your 'sad form', tries to (often times unsuccessfully) cheer you up

honestly you both need a break, things in the circus are hectic and insane, and considering pomni just got here she is going to need your help to get used to things

not much to be said since i think pomni is another character i struggle to write

JAX:

initially teases you for how fast you switch up, its almost like gangle being more upbeat with her comedy mask and more sad when its broken

tones it down a little when you explain you cant really control it whereas gangles case is just her being more confident with the comedy mask (at least thats my hc)

sometimes give you weird looks when you use an unnecessarily long set of fancy words to describe something mundane

bro is fighting the urge to mimic it

surprisingly does the kind thing, he takes you off to the side when something stresses you out so you can have a minute to compose yourself

RAGATHA:

optimistic sweetheart meets ray of sunshine, you two are an unstoppable force of good and kind of rub off on some of the others

similar to jax when you get stressed out or upset about something, usually when its an in house adventure, she sweeps you to the side and helps calm you down. she probably knows some breathing techniques, i think

ignoring the fact they probably dont need to breathe but thats asides the poin

[iwantmasterkohga]

RANDOM FACTS AND STUFF IVE NOTICED ABOUT MASTER KOHGA AND SOOGA!!!!!

Kohga actually doesn���t really like the fact that ALL they eat is bananas, in one of his quests it’s said he’s tired of it and wants to try something new

Sooga cant accept any help, his own clan needing to sneak around so he wouldn’t know they intended on helping him, and when you try to lighten his load of stuff to carry, he doubles it.

Kohga is REALLY tall. Somewhere around 6’6.

Soogas only interactive line when added in a team with someone, aside from Kohga(and probably terrako i havent finished aoc) is Impa, where he says “I’ll be watching you.” ..seems he isn’t a big fan of her

Kohga is the only yiga with purple in his design, a color as stated in the master book is associated with danger and power, such as when silver monsters have purple markings. The patterns also kind of resemble a blue ringed octopus, I’ve noticed

Kohga is actually pretty cowardly when it comes to fighting monsters and getting hurt unless it’s about his clan, in which case, he will sacrifice his own escape to save them from dying for him

Oh the topic of this, he seems to have a lot of love and concern for his clan, seeing them as way more than just his underlings. When they sacrifice themselves for him, he says “why is everyone only worried about me?”

When followed up after he uses the Shieka ice rune, Sooga carves a statue of Master kohga out of ice. He MUST bow to the statue before doing anything and you aren’t able to control him until he is finished bowing. If something breaks the ice statue while he is bowing, Sooga cries out in anger and delivers three huge slashes at whatever broke it.

^^(Which, wanna add, the statue thing kinda implies Sooga is artistic enough to create ICE SCULPTURES????)

Kohga and Sooga seem to be mirrors of Link and Zelda, Sooga and link both being quiet bodyguards with a sword, and Kohga and Zelda both having magical powers and coming from a “royal” bloodline

Aaaand that’s all for now! Gonna reply to my asks tmw

[delicatebarness]

i cant read your mind | chapter ten

Summary: Has Walker finally had enough of you?

Warnings: MCU Spoilers. Major The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Spoilers. Light violence, I think? Kissing?

Word Count: 1395

Spotify Playlist | Support: Ko-Fi

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N: Oh look, an update. ALSO text like "This... Bold and Italic." is spoken in Wakandan. But, I am also excited to go back to annoyed Bucky next chapter when John's back in the picture.

I Can’t Read Your Mind: @blackhawkfanatic | @cjand10 | @wintrsoldrluvr | @missvelvetsstuff | @buckys-metal-arm | @matchat3a | @shadowzena43 | @torntaltos | @honeydew3064 | @scott-loki-barnes

Everything: @hallecarey1 | @pattiemac1 | @uhmellamoanna | @scraftsku35 | @ozwriterchick | @sapphirebarnes

“Hey, you’ve got ten minutes,” Walker called out to Sam, you watched by Bucky’s side as he handcuffed Zemo to what looked like a vault door. “Then, we’re doing things my way.” 

“Aggressive,” Zemo commented with a hint of amusement in his voice. Smirking, you glanced at Bucky, your mind drifting to memories of him cuffing you in the past. He shook his head, a stern look crossed his features before turning his attention back to Sam as he walked away.

You shifted your gaze to Walker. “I’ll give you ten minutes if you want to get aggressive with me, John,” you said, batting your eyelashes provocatively. 

He cleared his throat, you had caught him off guard. Trying to maintain his composure, his eyes widened. “We’re on a mission here,” he said, his voice a bit strained.

Bucky towered over you, his jaw tight as he leaned in close to you, he growled lowly in Wakandan. “You need to stop this now.” 

Placing a hand against Bucky’s chest, you smirked, whispering back in the same language. “I’m just having a little fun.”

Confusion deepened over Walker’s face as he watched the interaction between you and Bucky. He could sense the tension, yet he couldn’t understand the exchange. “Can we focus?” he snapped, his patience wore thin.

You tried to bite back another smirk as you straightened up. “Yes, sir, New Captain America, sir,” you teased, sarcasm laced in your words as you turned, giving him a playful salute. 

His expression hardened his irritation of your mockery clear. “Stay out of my way,” he warned, stepping closer to you. 

Bucky’s blue eyes were intense, stepping in between you two. His protective determination creates a wall. “Just focus on the mission, Walker,” he said sharply, leaving no room for argument.

They glared at each other for a moment before Walker backed off, frustrated but unwilling to escalate. He muttered under his breath as he turned away, joining Kemar.

Letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, you glanced up at Bucky. “He’s fun to mess with,” amusement thick in your voice.

Bucky’s eyes remained serious, though his expression softened. “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble,” he warned, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“Trouble’s my middle name, Sergeant,” you replied with a wink, earning a reluctant chuckle and head shake from Bucky. 

After a few more minutes, Bucky and Walker were head to head again, only this time debating on whether they should or shouldn’t be with Sam right now. The air thickened as you waited for one of them to fold, you could see the worry etched on Bucky’s face.

~

After chasing Karli, both you and Bucky were winded and frustrated as you made your way back to Zemo’s apartment. Bucky grabbed your arm as you approached the building, pulling you aside into a narrow alleyway.

“Hey, what are you–” you began to ask, your heart still racing from the chase.

His eyes were intense as he looked over you, he kept his grip firm as he cut you off. “We need to talk,” his voice was low and serious.

“About what?” A smirk tugged on your lips as you raised an eyebrow. Your curiosity piqued.

His blue eyes locked onto yours, his gaze unwavering. “About what you’re doing with Walker.” 

You sucked your bottom lip in as you looked up innocently at him. “Jealous, Sergeant?” 

Bucky’s jaw tightened, a mix of anger and something deeper in his eyes. “You’re playing with fire. Walker’s dangerous, and you know it.” 

Stepping closer to him, the alleyway began to feel much smaller. “And what about you? You’re not exactly harmless,” you teased, dropping your voice to a whisper. His breath hitched as you placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath your palm. “What does it bother you so much, Barnes? Afraid he’s going to steal your girl?” 

His eyes darkened, and his possessiveness crossed his features. “No one’s stealing my girl,” he growled, tightening his grip on your arm.

“Is that right?” you whispered, your lips inches from his.

He leaned in, brushing his lips against yours. It felt like an eternity since you had felt like lips against your skin. The kiss was tentative as if you both were testing the waters, waiting for the other to pull away. But as you responded, your arms wrapped around his neck deepening the kiss. You became more urgent, desperate. 

The only thing that mattered at that moment was the feel of his lips on yours, the way his hands roamed your back, pulling you closer. 

When you broke apart for air, you were both breathless, resting your foreheads against each other. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” his voice hoarse as he murmured. 

Your fingers traced the outline of his jaw as you smiled. “Likewise, Sergeant.” 

Pressing another kiss to your lips, he stepped back, seriousness taking over his features once more. “We should get back, Sam’s waiting.” 

You nodded, a sense of satisfaction rushing through you. “Yeah, let’s go.” 

Your hand slipped into his as you walked back to the apartment. Greeted by Sam and Zemo as you walked in, followed shortly after by Walker and Lemar. 

~

The room filled with tension as John and Lemer struggled against Ayo and The Dora Milaje. They moved with grace and precision, they effortlessly subdued the newly appointed Captain America. You watched the altercation unfold along with Sam and Bucky from a short distance away. 

“We should do something,” Sam exclaimed, glancing between you and Bucky as you jumped up onto the kitchen counter. 

Bucky crossed his arms, a hint of amusement on his face. “Looking strong, John,” Bucky shouted with a sarcastic tone, his words frustrating John further. 

As Sam sighed, he looked back at you. “Really? You’re just going to sit there?”

You shook your head, taking a sip from your drink. “I can’t, girl code,” you replied nonchalantly. “Plus… I don’t want to.”

Taking a bite of a piece of Turkish Delight that you had been holding, your expression quickly turned to one of disgust. Spitting out the candy, you grimaced at the taste. “Ugh, how do people eat this shit?” you muttered, wiping your mouth.

Sam rubbed his hand over his face in exasperation. “You two are impossible,” he murmured, before turning his attention back to the fight. 

Ayo delivered another decisive move, sending John sprawling to the ground. She glanced over at you, her gaze locking with yours for a moment. There was a silent understanding between you. 

“You know,” Bucky said, leaning in closer to you, “You really could have helped.” 

“Maybe,” you shrugged, “Ayo has it under control.” 

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re something else.” 

“Bucky…” Sam trailed, clearly annoyed. 

With a sigh, Bucky stepped forward to intervene. Reaching out, he grabbed Ayo’s spear, trying to halt her next move. “Ayo, let’s talk about this.” 

Watching as the fight continued, you skillfully dodged the occasional spear and shield. 

~

The room settled into a silence after The Dora Milaje left, leaving John Walker frustrated with humiliation. Flexing his shoulder, Bucky winced slightly as he reached down to receive his now-detached arm lying on the ground. 

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam called out. 

“No,” Bucky replied, his gaze turning to you in surprise as you simultaneously answered, ‘Yeah,’. 

“ICOE,” you responded nonchalantly, shrugging at the unspoken question. An acronym for “In Case of Emergency,”. The Wakandans added the removal as a failsafe measure. 

His eyes narrowed slightly, he wasn’t sure if he should be angry at you for not telling him about it, or if he should be disappointed that it had to be considered. The conflict was evident in his eyes, you sighed, reaching out to run your hand over the metal. 

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you,” you said softly. “They had to consider every possibility.” 

Reattaching the arm, the mechanism click echoed through the room. He tested the arm, swinging it around and rolling his shoulder. His fist clenched before looking back at you.

“I get it,” he said, his voice gruff. “Doesn’t mean I like it.” 

You nodded, you understood why he was frustrated. The thought of you having a safety precaution around him causes the memories of when he almost killed you to respawn in his mind. 

---

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[olicitymckono]

Cressway

AN: Hey guys this is my first reader insert for Eddie Diaz. Please enjoy!

Any mistakes are my own

Italics = texts and flashback

The day Eddie Diaz walked into 118 house Y/N knew there was something about him. Aside from his good looks, he had this presence about him that made her feel like she could immediately trust him. It had taken her a while to fully trust her other team mates but some how with him its different. The two of you had become fast friends and spent a lot of your free time together with Christopher and sometimes Buck.

One day things just suddenly changed. There had been a school shooting and somehow the LAPD had not been aware that there were two offenders. Once Athena and her team had the first offender in custody the 118 had been given the all clear to enter the building and help the victims. Y/N and Hen made their way in first. School shootings had always been hard for Y/N, no one but Bobby knew the reason for it but the team had always noticed. Y/N lead the way towards one of the classrooms where she heard crying. “Fire Department, we’re here to help,” she called out. She saw a young man look out the glass before slowly opening the door. “Are you hurt?”

“No but my friend is,” the young man pointed towards another boy who was surrounded by several other students. Y/N made her way over to him. He had taken a bullet to his stomach and had lost a lot of blood. She noticed that the other kids were scared which wasn’t unusual given the trauma they had just been through but none of them tried to leave.  Y/N looked towards Hen who she saw had also noticed.

“Its okay, we’ve got him. If you’re not hurt you can head outside.”

Several of the kids shook their heads, Y/N knew something was wrong. “Hen, we gonna need a back board. He cant walk out here.” Hen reached for her radio but Y/N stopped her. “Can you get it?” The look Y/N gave her made Hen worry but she got up and nodded. As she headed to the door Y/N said, “Tell Cap, it’s Cressway.” Hen looked at her questioningly but Y/N shook her head, “Go, I really need the back board.”

Once Hen was gone Y/N turned her attention to the boy on the ground. It didn’t look good and she really didn’t think he was going to make it, but she had to try. “Ok I’m gonna need some help.” She turned to a young blond girl. “What’s your name?”

“Hayley,” she replied softly.

“Okay Hayley I need you to keep pressure on...”

“Jeremy.”

Y/N smiled lightly, “Jeremy’s wound. Press down really hard ok. Can you do that?” Hayley nodded. “Good.” Y/n leaned down to take a better look and soften her voice, “Who?”

Hayley looked at her before moving her eyes over to the young man who had opened the door. He was pacing now and seemed very agitated. “Okay, we’re gonna get out of here.”

 

Something didn’t feel right and Hen rushed to get the back board. She needed to speak to speak to Bobby but something told her not to do it over the air. She spotted Athena and rushed over. “Have you seen Bobby?”

“He went in after you guys, said something about the library. What’s up?”

“Somethings wrong.”

“Wrong how?”

“Hen,” they turned around as her captain and Eddie came out helping a young wounded girl who was bleeding from her leg. She rushed over.

“Cap, somethings wrong.”

“What is it?”

“Y/N said to mention Cressway.”

“Cressway? What does that mean?” Eddie asked.

Hen was about to say something when she noticed the look on her Captains face, “Where is she?” he asked.

“Inside. Cap what is it?”

“There’s a second shooter.”

“Are you sure?” Athena asked her husband.

“Yes.”

Athena grabbed her radio and called it in just as a gun shot went off.

 

Her ears were ringing, the gun had gone off right next to her ear but she had managed to take down the shooter. She looked up at the scared kids in front of her and told them to leave, “Its safe now.”

They didn’t need to be told twice and raced for the door. Y/n sat down and leaned against the wall, “I really hate school shootings.” She reached for her radio, “All clear, suspect is down.”

Two seconds later Eddie was in front of her, running his hands over her body checking for any injuries. “Hey Diaz, if you wanted to cop a feel all you had to do was ask,” she joked.

“Not funny Hartley.” He got up and reached out his hand before pulling her up alongside him.

“Are you mad at me Eddie?” she asked at the tone of his voice.

“What were you thinking? You could have been killed.”

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, “I was doing my job. PD gave us the clear. Last I checked I’m a firefighter.”

“You are not a cop. You should have like them handle the guy. When you thought something was up you call in.”

She shook her head, “I’m not arguing with you. I did what I had to diffuse the situation and help those kids.”

“That wasn’t your call.”

“Excuse me? I’m head paramedic.”

That’s enough!” Bobby step in. “Y/n I want you to go get checked out. Diaz go help Buck and the others to search.”

“But Cap,” she began.

“Don’t wanna hear it. That’s an order.”

With one final glare at Eddie, she shook her head and went to follow her boss’ instructions.

 

Pulling back into headquarters Y/n was still fuming at the way her friend and co worker had spoken to her, like she was some sort of child. As soon as the engine came to a stop she hop out and headed straight for the showers. Sitting down on the bench she took a deep breath and allowed herself a chance to process everything.

“Y/n?”

She looked up, “Hi Cap.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head, “ Not really.”

He nodded in understanding but still made his way over and sat down next to her. “I know that this was hard for you.”

“Its the job. I’ve handled school shootings before.”

“Not like this one, not since Cressway.”

“I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

“I know. But regardless I want you to take the day.”

“Are you benching me?”

“No, I’m telling you to take the day and do something relaxing. Something that will take your mind off what I know your thinking off. Maybe Luke is around.”

She smiled at the thought of her boyfriend. She nodded, maybe Cap was right. It had been a long day. “Ok.”

He got up and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You did good.”

“ Thanks Cap.”

 

“Eddie?”

The young man looked up from his plate and gave his boss a questioning look. “Yeah?”

Bobby sat down, “What was that about back at the school?”

Eddie knew what he was talking about. To be honest he didn’t even know what had come over him. When he had heard that gun shot go off, it had scared the hell out of him. He couldn’t lose Y/N. She was his best friend. “I don’t know Bobby. When I heard that gun shot, I panicked. I don’t even want to think about losing her.”

“DO you have feelings for her?”

Eddie shook his head frantically, “No way....I mean yeah she’s my best friend.”

“Bobby nodded, “We all care about her Eddie, but we trust each other here. We just each other to do our jobs and that’s what she did.”

“How did you know Cap? About the second shooter?”

“Not my story to tell.” Bobby got up. “Just trust her.”

“Luke, you home?” Yn called out into his apartment as she walked in.

“Hey babe. You’re home early.” the Australian man who had stolen her heart 5 years ago smiled as he walked into the kitchen. He was a lawyer who worked from home and the two had met at the courthouse one afternoon during a fire.

“Hey,” she sighed as he pulled her into his arms.

“Is everything ok?”

“No,” she mumbles into his shirt.

“What happened?”

“School shooting.”

He pulled her tighter, rubbing her back. “Wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head. “Are you busy or can you distract me?”

“Mmm, that depends on what kind of distraction you want,” he smirked.

“Mind out the gutter. I thought maybe a hike.”

“You know I would do anything for you but I have a zoom meeting in like an HR.”

“Its ok.” She reached up and kissed him. “Thought I’d try my luck.”

“How about dinner? That little French restaurant you love so much.”

“Sounds perfect. I’m gonna go on that hike so long. I’ll see you later.”

“Pick you up at 8. Love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

That night as he lay in bed Eddie had the worst nightmare and now he just tossed and turned, unable to get the image of Yn out of his head. He knew it had been just a dream and that she was perfectly safe but the thought of her been hurt, haunted him.

“Hey, you awake?” he messaged her.

“Yep. What’s up?”

“Can’t sleep. U?”

“Me neither.”

“You wanna get some coffee? Christopher is at a friends.”

“Sure, or you could come here?”

“I’ll be there now.”

Sitting on her balcony they had foregone the coffee and we’re nursing a few beers. He could tell she wasn’t herself. “What’s wrong?”

“Today was just hard. And you having a go at me didn’t help.”

“I’m sorry. When I heard the gunshot, I got scared.”

“Ok. I guess it hasn’t missed your attention that school shootings are hard for me.”

“I’ve noticed.”

She sighed. “Back in high school it was just a normal day. All of a sudden during lunch Randy Hurst a senior opened fire. A few of us managed to get out of the lunch hall and hid in the library.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I lost my brother that day. Along with 15 others.”

He took her hand in his, “I’m sorry.”

She smiled at him. “The worst part was that there were two shooters. No one knew about the other boy until he pulled out a gun. He was in the library with us. Police responded quickly and some students were able tackle Randy but Aiden was still there. He had been friends with Luke, my brother. He had run with us and just sat there head in his hands. At the time it didn’t seem weird. We were all scared. But when we heard the sirens Aiden started talking to himself, like he was going mad.”

“Maybe he was having second thoughts?” Eddie asked as he brushed his thumb along her hand.

“That’s what he said. He was prepared and ready but something stopped him and when Randy started shooting, Aiden panicked. He ran with us. I still don’t know what happened, why he hesitated then decided

 shoot in the library. I never asked him, I was too scared.”

“How did it end?”

“We could hear officers coming towards us. Shouting to let us know so we wouldn’t be afraid so some of us got up and tried to get to the door. But Aiden pulled a gun and shot Alicia Mount. He rushed the door and made us get back.

“Second shooter! I repeat we have a second shooter!”

We could hear officers shooting right outside the door bit no one came in. Alicia just lay on the floor, blood pooling from her back.

“Aiden, what the hell are you doing?” my brother Luke asked, voice shaking.

I have never seen him scared before except when our grandpa was sick and dying.

“Get back!!!” the shooter screamed waving the gun in front of Luke.

I walk forward slowly and take my brother’s hand. “Luke…”

“Stay back Ynn.” Luke looked at me and I looked back pleading with my eyes for him to not do any thing stupid. He got the message and moved away slowly from Aiden, one hand raised in surrender, the other clutching mine tightly. A mere few minutes later a young boy, most likely a junior tries to sneak out but Aiden spots him and raises his gun. Luke took the opportunity to tackle the boy. A single shot rings out. Luke grimaces and I knew he had been hit but he won’t let go of the boy. “Run!”

Most of the group didn’t need to be told twice but I didn’t want to leave my brother.

“Dammit Yn go!!!!”

Tears in my eyes I run for the door and as I round the corner I run into a police officer. He is asking me something but I can’t hear him. We have to help Luke. “My brother he’s….” another shot and it’s only because the officer had grabbed onto me tight that kept me from racing to him.

Several other officers slowly make their way towards the library. A few minutes later one comes back and asks me to come with him. I hesitate but follow him. Luke and Aiden are both laying on the floor. “Who is it?”

I point at Aiden who I can see is still alive. Luke is still. The police roughly pull Aiden up and hand cuff him, mindful of his bleeding arm. I rush to my brother.

“Luke? Luke?” he doesn’t open his eyes. His stomach is covered in blood. “Wake up!”

I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. It’s a paramedic.

“Please help him!”

He nodded as another man joined him and the police man from earlier pulls me up and leads me outside.

“Luke died on the way to the hospital.”

Eddie pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. “He sounds like a hero.”

She sniffled before pulling back. “He was. So many more could have died that day.”

They sat there for a while before he remembered something. “What’s Cressway?”

“His last name. Aiden Cressway.”

“Where is he now?”

“Locked away for the rest of his life. After the trial my parents moved us to LA. My grandparents on my mom’s side lived here and they felt we needed a new start. When I became a paramedic and joined the department I didn’t tell anyone but when I joined the 118 we had to respond to a shooting at an elementary school. It was my first one since that day and Cap called me out. That’s when I told him everything. He promised it would stay between us and I’ve managed to handle it.”

“That’s why he looked at you before we got to the school?”

She nodded. “He tries to take care of me.”

“He cares about you. We all do.”

The way he said that made her feel different and the way he was looking at her caused her to blush. She took a breath. “Today was the first time I’ve experienced a unknown second shooter.”

“You did a good job today. I over heard some of the kids talking afterwards. You saved their lives.”

“I just thought about what Luke had done.”

“Promise me though you won’t do that again?”

She looked up at him in annoyance. “Can we not do this again Eddie? I did my job.”

“I know.” He threaded his fingers with hers. “But I can’t lose you.”

She soften her look and brushed her free hand against his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere Eddie. But I can’t not do my job.”

“I suppose,” he got up and walked inside and she could see there was something else.

“Is there something you’re not saying?” she got up and followed him.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know Eddie, you tell me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“No please, share what’s on your mind!”

“I can’t lose you!” he snapped.

“We established that already!” she fired back taking a step closer. “Its our job. We’ve been doing it for years. Why all of a sudden are you acting like this?”

“I’m gonna go.”

“Edmund Diaz! I promise if you walk out that door……”

“What? Huh?” he closing the gap between them. “What are you gonna do Yn?”

He was so close that she could feel his breath against her skin. His eyes piercing into hers. She took a shaky breath and took a step back. “What did I do?”

“You could have been hurt or worse.”

She shook her head and tried to walk away, annoyed with the conversation now. He grabbed her hand and pulled her flush against him, lips crashing against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Wrapping his hands around her waist he tried to pull her closer, never removing his lips from hers. As his fingers brushed against her exposed skin between her pants and top she gasped. Using it to his advantage he slip his tongue into her mouth. Neither wanted to stop but air was becoming a necessity and when they final broke apart they both had to catch their breath. “I’m in love with you.” He whispered against her lips.

She stepped back, “What?”

He let her step back but refused to let go of her hands. “I’ve been for a while. I only knew for certain when I hard that shot. So many things raced through my mind as I was racing inside. How I might not get to tell you how I feel. How we could be a family, you, me and Christopher. How there is so much I want to do with you and share with you.”

“Eddie?”

“You make my life so much better since you came into it. I always felt like there was this hole, like something was missing and nothing could fix it. Then I met you and you became my best friend. It felt like I had finally found my missing piece.”

“I care about you too, I’ll be honest and say that I do have feelings for you too but I have a boyfriend.”

He nodded sadly, “I know. I just…..I needed you to know.”

“I’m sorry Eddie.”

 

Over the next few weeks things between Yn and Eddie felt awkward and the team noticed. Buck and Chin had tried talking to Eddie and Hen had tried with Yn but neither of the two wanted to talk about it. Exactly 2 months after that kiss Christopher walked into the kitchen and confronted his father.

“Why doesn’t Yn come over anymore? Did you have a fight?”

“Its complicated buddy.”

“Well just tell her you love her and fix it.” Eddie was surprised that his son knew about his feelings and it showed. “I see the way you look at her. How happy you are when she’s around.”

Eddie sighed. “She knows but it’s too late. She has a boyfriend.”

“Its only too late if you give up. And it looks like you have.” Christopher walked out the room.

An hour later Eddie went to his son’s room to try and explain but when he open the door Christopher wasn’t there. “Chris?” he went through the entire apartment calling out for his son, his panic starting to increase. He grabbed his phone and called Yn.

“Hello?”

“Christopher’s gone.”

 

She had just sat down, flipping on the TV when her cellphone rang. Eddie.

“Hello?”

“Christopher’s gone.”

“Where was the last you saw him?” she asked jumping up and racing for the door. As she opened it she felt her the panic in her chest subside. She sighed in relief. “He’s here.”

“I’m on my way “

She put down the call and pulled the young boy into a tight hug well as tight as he would allow. “You scared us. Your dad is worried.”

“I’m sorry.”

After making sure Christopher was all ok and getting him some juice she sat down next to him on the sofa.

“Why did you run away?”

He looked down at the glass in his hand. “You and Dad are fighting and I don’t like it. You never come by anymore.”

She felt ashamed. In the last two months Eddie had done his best to avoid her and at first she had tried but eventually gave up. She hadn’t thought about the boy sitting here. “Christopher, I’m so sorry. What ever is going on with your dad and we shouldn’t have let it affect you.”

“Do you love my dad?”

She sighed, “Yes but it’s not that easy.” She added seeing the hopeful look on his face.

“How come? Is it because of Luke?”

“Luke was a factor yes.”

“Why can’t it just be simple? You love dad and he loves you.”

Before she could answer there was a knock at the door. “How many speed limits did you break?” she jokingly asked Eddie as he stood there.

“A few.”

“He’s on the sofa. Don’t be too hard on him.”

Eddie smiled softly at her, knowing just how much she cared for his son.

“Hey bud. You scared me.” He said sitting down next to him.

“I’m sorry dad. I just wanted to see Yn.”

“I know and I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I made a mistake and it affected you.”

“Does this mean that you too won’t be fighting anymore?”

“I hope not,” Eddie replied glancing over at his friend. She nodded in agreement but had a funny look on her face.

“Hey bud,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and handed it to his son. “I’m gonna chat to Yn real quick. Why don’t you watch something?”

“Ok.”

Eddie smiled before getting up and nudge his head towards the balcony. She silently followed him. After stepping outside he closed the sliding door behind him.

“Did you mean that?” she asked.

“What?”

“Kissing me was a mistake?”

“I don’t know, maybe?” he honestly replied.

“Why?”

“Because it broke our friendship.”

“No, that was you deciding to be an ass.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“No arguments here.”

“Yn, it’s hard. Watching you be with someone else.”

“Well maybe if you had talked to me you would know that Luke and I broke up.”

“What?” he asked.

She nodded. “A month ago.”

“What happened?”

“His brother got in an accident and he went home to Sydney. It was supposed to be for a two weeks but he realized how much he missed Australia and his family. Lucky for him his firm has an office over there.”

“So he just left you?”

“He asked me to go with. But I don’t want to leave LA, my family, the 118….you.”

“Me?” he asked moving closer to her. He didn’t want to get his hopes up but he also didn’t want to miss an opportunity.

“Yeah. I wanted to tell you but you weren’t talking to me and I haven’t really told anyone. They just think he is helping his family and will be home soon. And you’re  seeing someone.”

“Marisol and I went on two dates and that was it.”

“Why?”

“Christopher and you. I thought maybe he was just being difficult. Didn’t like the idea of someone taking his mom’s place. But turns out it’s because it wasn’t you.”

She turned to look at the boy inside, she loved him and she was in love with his dad. She had missed them terribly even though she saw Eddie everyday at work. “So where does this leave us?”

“I miss you, and if we are just friends then I’ll make it work. I just need you.”

“And what if I don’t want to be just friends?” she asked closing the gap between them.

He wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer, then I would be the happiest guy alive.”

“No more fighting or running.”

“Just you and me.”

“And Christopher.”

He chuckled, “And Christopher.” He kissed her.

“Oh,” she pulled back slightly. “And no getting mad at each other for doing our jobs.”

“As long as you don’t do anything risky.”

She arched a brow, “Me?”

He nodded.

“It was one time. You on the other hand…..”

She never got to finish her sentence as he swiftly kissed her once more.

 

Back inside Christopher click on the contact and dialed the number. As soon as it was answered he said with a smile. “Hey Buck it worked.”

If either Eddie or Yn found out Buck had been in on the plan…..he was a died man.

An: please let me know if you want more Eddie Diaz and Yn or if you have any requests.

I also write for Formula one and I'm working on a Dean Winchester X reader 😘

[stevie-petey]

I have a blurb idea!

A stug sleepover that wasn't set up by Dustin. Lets say Steve's parents are having a dinner party and instead of being degraded in front of his parents'friends he decides to leave and go to bugs house. He crawls up onto her roof and knocks on her window. She opens her curtains and when she sees Steve she just lights up! She scrambles to open the window and let him in. Steve's heart is so warmed because not only is bug elated to see him, but she's in her pajamas and Steve just thinks she looks perfect😭. Remember in the jealous Steve blurb how he said he wishes that one day he could come over and know he's going home, he's finally getting to feel it!!! Maybe bug even lets Steve lay in her bed BUT only for a little while soon he is demoted back to the bean bag. Still it was nice while it lasted.

steve vs windows ,,, he will never win. this isnt exaaaactly the prompt, but i kept the pjs and coming home <3

enjoy !

"im coming over."

"oh, alright." while you hadnt been upset by steves sudden insistence on coming over, the lack of warning had surprised you. normally he'll ask ahead of time, make a plan, but at almost ten at night he had called you saying he was coming over. "drive safe, please."

"always, angel."

that had been nearly fifteen minutes ago.

normally steve is at you house in under ten minutes, so his slight delay worries you. standing at your window, you wait anxiously for any sign of him. your view of where he normally parks is blocked by a house, so all you can do is stare out at the yard in front of you.

thats when you hear the thud, which is followed by a very pathetic "ow."

"hello?' you call out beneath you, squinting against the darkness of the night. you cant see anything, but you know you heard something.

"down here," someone says weakly, and you recognize the voice to be steves.

squinting even harder, you make out the faint outline of his body sprawled on the grass beneath your window. "oh my god." you start trying to climb out your window to go and help, but steve sees and stops you.

"dont come down," hes out of breath, pain still piercing his body.

"but-"

"im fine, just need to-" steve winces as he stands, his shoulder pops and his knees buckle. "god tonight sucks."

he stands before you now, a foot or so beneath you. for once, youre taller than steve, and you enjoy looking down at him. his eyes are almost black in the dim lighting, though the moon casts a soft glow on his tanned skin. summer has made him beautiful.

you reach your hand out and gently fix his hair. "what happened, honey?"

steves heart warms at the touch, he leans into it and closes his eyes. pain be damned, your fingers tug at his hair and steves heart skips a beat. "missed the jump."

"well, obviously."

"it hurt."

"you poor thing."

"can i come in now?"

you giggle and nod, stepping aside so that steve can climb the ledge and into your room. his arms strain, the outline of his biceps can be seen in the night. hes always been so delicate with how he climbs through the window, far from jonathans clunkiness that always alerted your mom of his arrival.

as you watch steve, you sit on your bed and make room for him to join. you havent forgotten about his unexpected call earlier. "is everything okay?"

"what do you mean?" steve takes his shoes off and places them against your wall. he undoes the first three buttons of his shirt, getting comfortable, before he slides into bed next to you with a tired sigh.

you wrap your arms around him, resting your head over his heart like you always do. "you never just randomly show up."

"i called."

"right before leaving."

"same thing."

"steve." you chastise him, place some annoyance in your voice. hes dodging.

steve sighs, knowing hes been caught. "my parents... theyre having some stupid dinner party tonight. needed to get away. they kept asking me about college and why i was still living at home. one women clutched her goddamn pearls."

"im sorry, honey." you hate that so much is expected of him, more than you know is fair. steve has his own job, he takes care of all the kids, he does the best he can with what hes given, and it infuriates you that his father refuses to see that.

"its whatever. figured id come here instead, see my girl."

my girl.

youre steves girl, and he came to you tonight.

"cute pajamas, by the way." steve adds absentmindedly. his fingers pluck at your spider-man shirt. its old and worn, the material thin now from years of use. "spidey looks good on you."

you blush at his words, innate reaction to being so loved by steve harrington, but you know hes also purposely changing he topic. he doesnt want to talk about what happened tonight. hes already opened up to you more than hes wanted to, so you go along with it.

"he does, doesnt he?" you hum, kissing steves ear. he hums at the sensation, arms tightening around you. hes relived youve seen through his ruse, though that doesnt stop you from reminding him of where he belongs. "welcome home, honey."

steves breath catches. his arms tighten even more. a wave of emotions wash over him. love, belonging, sanctity.

"you cant sleep in my bed, though." you break the silence, knowing steve has gotten lost in his thoughts. you want him to laugh, to see him smile. "the bean bag gets lonely at night."

it works. steve chuckles, kisses the tip of your nose. "well, we cant have that, now can we?"

[delulujuls]

friends don't know how you taste | ms47

hi! i know that i have a lot of second parts to write, like for example for this one, but i just cant write other stuff when i am having particular ideas in mind, ya feel me? but dont worry, i remember all of the requests and i will write them in the sooner than later future, i promise!

but here comes the mick schumacher's one and i hope that you will enjoy this while waiting for the next parts for other shots, so bon apetit!

summary: when you are in love with your best friend and only alcohol can untie your tongue to reveal your feelings

warnings: reader being drunk, mentions of alcohol usage

pairing: fem!bffreader x mick schumacher

"Careful, watch out."

The tipsy giggles intensified as Mick steadied his friend's waist a bit more securely while they exited the elevator on the correct floor.

The girl struggled to maintain her balance, and despite being upset when her friends ordered transportation to the hotel for her, she was delighted when Mick turned out to be her ride.

"We're almost there, you're doing great," he reassured her.

Occasionally, he glanced at her, wanting to ensure that the alcohol wasn't taking a negative toll on her. She, however, was in great spirits, giggling and being very talkative.

"When they told me to go back to the hotel because 'I've had enough,'-" she mocked one of her friends, hiccuping, "at first, I got mad. But when I saw it was you who came for me, you have no idea how happy I was to see you!"

She stopped and embraced him, hugging tightly. Mick chuckled softly and reciprocated the hug. He knew he was in for a rather amusing evening with his friend, whom he had no intention of leaving in such a state, even though he could see that she had indulged in one of those harmless ways that shouldn't lead to any harm. Nevertheless, he wanted a clear conscience.

"I'm happy to see you too, liebling."

The girl lifted her head, smiling at his face. Her mascara was slightly smudged, her eyes sparkling, and a wide smile stretched across her rosy lips. Mick returned her smile, looking at her affectionately. She looked charming, staring at him like a painting in the middle of an empty hotel corridor.

"Liebling," she repeated, trying to mimic the German accent, "am I your liebling?"

Schumacher laughed, hearing her feigned accent.

"Of course you are."

She giggled again and hugged him once more. Shortly after, they managed to reach her hotel room. Mick closed the door behind them and seated his friend on the bed. She immediately sank into the soft mattress, feeling everything around her spin. Mick put her purse aside and took off her shoes.

"We'll get you into something more comfortable, okay?"

"Just say you want to undress me."

She joked, giggling. Mick chuckled and shook his head. He was genuinely curious about what interesting things he would learn from his intoxicated friend, with whom he had been friends for many years, and who had never made him feel that there was anything more than friendship between them. However, with alcohol, the girl always became more open, and whenever he was around, she enjoyed his company. Mick decided to play along.

"No, absolutely. After all, we're just friends, right?"

He said, taking off her leather jacket.

"Friends, just friends," the girl sighed heavily, sitting down with difficulty, "of course, as you wish, liebling."

Mick laughed when she again used the term he often called her, this time with an exaggerated German accent that amused him.

"Do you even know what that term means?"

"Liebling?"

"Mhm."

He said, squatting by her suitcase and looking for something for her to change into. As he searched through her clothes, to his surprise, he came across his own T-shirt, which she must have borrowed from him at some point. He smiled to himself. It fit perfectly, being a bit too big for her and, as a result, comfortable.

"Of course, I know."

The girl snorted. Mick stood up and approached her again, holding the T-shirt in his hand.

"So, tell me, and I'll get you changed, okay?"

The girl nodded, a shadow of intense contemplation appearing on her drunken face.

"Liebling," she said again, with the feigned accent, "means darling."

Mick smiled, squatting down and unbuttoning her pants.

"That's right, it means darling."

"I'm your darling?"

She asked, looking at him. He lifted his gaze, and their eyes met. His once amused blue eyes suddenly became serious, and the girl's intoxicated, gleaming eyes also became a bit more serious, too. Nevertheless, a smile still lingered on her face.

"Am i?"

She repeated the question, but Mick couldn't bring himself to utter a word. However, he thought that the next morning, his friend probably wouldn't remember half of the evening, so why worry about what he would say? Even if he revealed his long-hidden feelings to her now, he could gauge her reaction even if it wasn't positive. Everything would return to normal the next morning. He decided to take the risk.

"Of course, you are, liebling."

The girl smiled. Mick returned her smile. He took off her pants and tossed them aside, leaving his friend in just the top and underwear. He stood up and handed her the T-shirt, which she clutched in her hand.

"Can you manage the rest? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"You promised to dress me, so you should keep your word."

She said confidently, looking into his eyes again.

"However you wish."

He replied softly, smiling slightly. He took hold of the bottom of her top and carefully removed it. He tried not to stare; that would be impolite. He grabbed his T-shirt and helped her put it on, tucking her hair behind the collar.

"We'll remove your makeup now, okay?"

The girl nodded and pointed to the bathroom. Mick disappeared for a moment, returning with micellar water and cotton pads. He sat next to his friend, looked at her face, and warmly smiled at her, sweeping her hair from her face and tucking it behind her ears. The girl closed her eyes and nestled into his hand. Mick stroked her cheek with his thumb, looking at her affectionately.

"You have pleasant hands. I like your hands."

He chuckled softly.

"Is there anything else you like about me?"

He asked, after a moment, taking a cotton pad and soaking it with makeup remover. He placed one hand on the back of her head and gently started removing her makeup with the other.

"I really like your eyes," she said after a while, without hesitation, "they're beautiful. Like the sky on a summer afternoon."

Mick smiled, hearing that comparison. With careful movements, he swiped the cotton pad over her cheek.

"I love your smile. And your laughter—whenever you laugh, you brighten everything around you." As she said this, she smiled herself. Mick couldn't hide his own smile.

"God, I think there's nothing about you that I don't like."

"Really?"

He giggled, taking another cotton pad, and he applied it to her eyes.

"Although, no, there's one thing I don't like about you."

"I'm all ears then."

"That you haven't made me Mrs. Schumacher yet."

Mick smiled. For a moment, he worried if he had missed something.

"Would you like to be Mrs. Schumacher?"

"Oh God, yes!"

She replied without hesitation, making him laugh. He set the cotton pads aside and leaned in, examining her face carefully, checking if he had done well in the task entrusted to him—removing her makeup.

The girl bit her lip, watching his face.

"You're doing great. This is the moment when you give me a kiss."

Mick was taken aback by her confidence. Even though, he looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Like this?"

He asked, touching her cheek and kissing her. He felt her smile against his lips, deepening the kiss. Although her lips tasted like alcohol, the kiss was filled with emotions. Not wanting to overdo it, he intended to pull away, but she grabbed his hoodie and pulled him closer.

After a while, they separated, but their foreheads were still pressed against each other.

"You have no idea how much I like you."

Mick confessed quietly.

The girl laughed softly.

"And you're telling me this now, when I'm drunk?"

"You probably won't remember it in the morning," he replied, stroking her cheek, "so I'm not worried that it will change anything between us."

"And you don't want anything to change?"

Mick sighed and lowered his gaze, leaning back a bit. He took her hand in his.

"You're drunk, baby."

"No, not at all."

She replied quickly, but hiccups got the better of her. Mick smiled, stroking her hand with his thumb.

"I'm afraid you won't remember anything from this conversation tomorrow."

"Answer me, Mick," she said, looking into his eyes, which were now avoiding hers, "you don't want anything to change?"

He looked at her. He felt that this joking conversation had taken on a completely serious tone. So, he decided to go all-in.

"I'd like to stop pretending that I only want to be your friend."

The girl smiled.

"So let's stop being just friends."

Mick was about to say something, but she kissed him again. Despite the taste of alcohol from her lips, he also felt the taste of change.

After all, friends don't know how you taste, right?

[nejjirez]

"MINE"

pairing: e!42 miles x blk! fem reader

genre: fluff , protective miles

miles = dark purple you = pink (naisa is you)

a/n: whew lawrd i got so many damn books to post .. yall in for some treats good JESUS , but trust ima get yall requests soon i promise

-----------------------------------♡-----------------------------------------

you were walking back home from the store , it wasn't too far away from where you live , so walkin won't a problem .

on the way back you heard your phone buzz , taking it out of your pocket to see who texted you. "1 new message from: Miless 💘."

miles was texting you to ask where you were at , worried on why you weren't home yet since he was at your house. you texted back smiling , reassuring him that you'll be fine , and your're on the way. butttt miles looked over that , and face timed you.

when you answered , he was side eyeing the camera , on the game that he set up in your room. "didnt i tell you to ask me before u use my tv?" you sighed , looking around your room to see what else he had done.

"yeaa sorry ma , my ass was bored waitin on u , but where you at?" miles fully turned his head towards the camera , squinting trying to make out where you were at.

you put your face all up in the camera , makin faces and laughing. "ma im not playin , where are you" he put his controller down , speaking in a more serious tone which made you back up from the screen.

"chill , im on my way ri-" suddenly , a boy who looked about your age came up to you , cheesin away. you kept walking , not interested.

the boy started walking behind you , trying to talk to you which .. didnt play out well. "yoo u from here?" he managed to catch up to you , trying to walk beside you.

miles heard the male's voice which caused his head to shoot towards the phone , picking it up looking around your surroundings.

"yea , i'm from my man's place , move along ." you snarled , walking faster looking at your phone to see miles with the most annoyed facial expression ever.

"aye not gon lie he prolly a bitch like most niggas round here , i could fs do better lil ma" this was miles last straw .. womp womp.. "oh hell na ." miles said before taking a good look at where you were , and hanging up.

the boy heard the voice coming from your phone as you walked faster , causing him to laugh. "aye was that him? see he prolly mad at u now , come fuck wit a real nigga" at this point you were irritated , not wanting miles to be mad at you because someone else tried talking to you.

"nigga fuck off , been said i got a man thats yo cue to leave . actually that ain't even my man , we married. so bye.." you went to imsg on your phone trying to text miles to get this boy away from you as soon as possible , he was pissin you off at this point.

miles texted you back with a simple "omw mami." which caused you to look around , seeing if he was anywhere in sight.

after a few minutes of this bum still tryna talk to you and follow you , you felt hands around your waist walking with you , causing you to quickly turn around trying to move until you noticed it was your bf , miles.

"the fuck?? this yo man?" he looked miles up and down , which pissed the both of yall off. you opened your mouth to say something , but before you could talk , miles did.

"nah nigga im her husband , i know u heard her say she taken so why u still tryna fw her? take yo big boosie fade head ass on somewhere bruh and getchu a retwist , yo ass got butterfly locs atp" miles laughed a lil at his own joke , meanwhile you were crackin tf upp

the boy side eyed yall , and walked off mad asf , you and miles were still crackin up at the back of this nigga head , retwists do not exist to him

"ight ight jokes aside , you lmk when shit like that happen we cant have niggas lookin like THAT tryna fuck wit you naisa" he wiped a few lil tears from his eyes due to laughing , you did the same.

"nigga did not give up.." you thought of the things the boy said , making you cringe.

miles put his arm around you , walking back home and kissed you on your forehead.

"mine."

[persephone11110]

rain is a good thing

Jake‘Hangman’ Seresin x Reader

PROLOGUE

warnings: breaking up, asshole jake seresin, pre-tpg.m, past child abuse, hurt people hurt people—NOT DEFENDING HIM, lack of communication skills, both oc and jake have self esteem issues, hurt no comfort, bradley is mentioned , mentions of alcohol->drinking and being slightly drunk, set in 2018-2019

author note: prologue and unfortunately please expect spelling errors, I want to make sure everyone knows that the prologue m is set atleast 2yrs before top gun maverick and the actual of chapters are before and after the uranium mission . Also i might tweak the ending a lil bit i cant tell If i I like it Thank you for reading— enjoy :)

WC: 900

Next

Series Masterlist

–

“I’d never a break promise darlin, especially not to my girl”.

You sheded more tears than any human ever has, you sat at the table watching the clock on the stove hit 11pm. The candle you once had lit was now out along with the patience you had for Jake this was the third time he’s broken his promise, he assured you he’d be home three hours ago for the nice meal you made.

The two of you would finally have the chance to just be girlfriend and boyfriend. The worry about work and stress would be put aside for once, Jake even promised you he wouldn’t bring up Bradshaw and how much he hated him.“Fucking hate him”.

You tried to not doubt your boyfriend word, you knew how much Jake worked and you knew he deserved the biggest break. Yet you couldn’t help but realize how much time he’s been spendin at the hard deck instead of the apartment you both shared.

Was this Jake way of telling you that he didn’t love you anymore, you tried to think of a time were theres been so much distance between you and him, and you couldn’t think of one.

Maybe your mom was right, maybe you weren’t destined for the love.

Why didn’t Jake Seresin love you anymore?

You were to busy wiping at your face to hear the door slam or him slurring your name. “Y/n I’m home!”.

You were ripping clothes off the hanger throwing them into a bag you found on the floor. You really thought he loved you—you should’ve know better a man like Jacob Seresin doesn’t love, he just takes and takes until the shadow of what used to be you is left lingering.

“Baby you okay?” he startles you out of a bubble of self-pity. “Y/n we can eat now…I’m home”. He goes to wrap his arm around your waist and you move from him.

His eyes widened at the bag of clothes on the bed.“What are you doing baby, are we going somewhere?”.

He’s looking down at you and your staring at those piercing green eyes that made you falling in love him in the first place. The green eyes he used to get himself out of trouble with.

“I’m going somewhere not you”. Already turned around you miss the way his mouth replicated a fish blowing bubbles.

“C’mon baby just let me heat the up food and it’ll be fine”. He trys to touch you again on but on your shoulder, and again you jerked away from him.

Drunk or not Jake realized you weren’t happy with him again. “I’m really sorry Y/n my phone died while I was there”. He throws a lame excuse at you hoping you take it like you did the last two times.

You pressed your tongue into side of your cheek. Not wanting to cry again, you shrugged him off instead. “Its okay Jake Its just I can’t keep doing this with you.”

He nose wrinkled in confusion,“Y/n what are you talking about you can’t keep doing this?”.

You let the shirt fall out of your hand before turning back around to him. “All I asked for was a dinner with the man I loved, I didn’t ask for a luxurious gift— I didn’t ask for a expensive vacation— I just wanted to be with the man I loved”.

The color drained out of his face.

“Y/n you can’t walk away from me just because it got hard”. His voice laced with anger,“Look I’m sorry I’ve been stressing over being a possible candidate for top gun”.

You frowned instantly,“I’m not walking away because it got hard, I’m walking away because you already walked away first from the relationship Seresin”.

“Y/n please….”. You already made it up your mind that Jake didn’t deserve a chance to explain more.

“I thought you be different— you promised me you different from the men that hurt us”. tears filled your eyes,“You just broke my heart in a way I didn’t think was possible”. You watched the sadness appear on Jakes face.

“Y/n please let me make it up to you I know the last two times I’ve broken my promise but give me tonight and you can watch me choose you”.

You stared at him as he put your bag at the edge of the bed. You allowed him to drag into the bed you both shared, “I love you Y/n please forgive me”. He whispered in the dark.

You were up before him, staring at him as he slept.

Jake how no idea what he was expecting when he woke up the next morning. Reaching our for you he felt a crinkly paper -he also noticed your bag wasn’t were he put it last night. “I’m sorry Jake looks like we both broke a promise”.

The rain hitting the windows lulled him back to sleep as Jake cried, he just lost the girl he loved and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself.

You laid on your ole crappy couch with Jakes Texas sweatshirt in your arms. The smell of him lingered around in your apartment, the sheets and the comforter, and now the sweatshirt you accidentally stole from him.

Watch me lose you.

[soracities]

hii! do you ever get into a huge reading slump? i would say ive been in one for about 3 years now and im desperate to escape it and read again but i cant find anything that's 'popular' enjoyable and have no idea where to start in finding content and books i actually enjoy by myself without tiktok or booktube 😭

Oh I've been in a particularly bad slump for at least 2 years so yes, absolutely! I think the key thing here is to try and remove the pressure off yourself as much as you can: don't look at every book you approach with the mindset of "THIS is will be the antidote to my reading slump" or "THIS novel will save me" because it will most likely stop you from actually enjoying the book: when you go in with such high expectations, you're also bringing a very distracting form of hyper-vigilance with you, waiting for the magic moment to hit, counting the pages until it does, being too conscious or worried when it doesn't in the way you envisioned it. It will turn reading into a chore, an endurance test which you either succeed or fail at, and this will only cement the slump further.

Everyone is different and I don't know what kind of books you like most, but the best thing I can advise is to go back before your slump and see what some of your favourite reads were. One way to ease back into reading is to revisit books you loved and read them again--this eliminates some of the pressure and I think it can also help rebuild that excitement because you know you're returning to familiar ground you've enjoyed before. That, or find other works by those same authors whose writing / style you liked and slowly expand from there. I don't log my reading through apps or websites anymore (and I stay away from booktok like the plague but that's a whole other conversation)--I have an ask on how I find my books here and I hope that helps too--but I've heard really good things about The Storygraph so if tiktok and booktube haven't done it for you, this might be a much better way to move towards books you actually enjoy because it's based on your preferences, not an influencer's or what an algorithm is pushing.

Whatever book you decide to try next, I would also advise you to start slow and / or small if that's what you need (more here)--don't force yourself to plow through several hundred pages in one sitting or 2 days. Sometimes breaking a slump is far more sustainable when you do it chip by chip, slowly, but consistently in a way that makes it less daunting than thinking you have to finish 2 novels every week. Something as simple as setting aside 15 minutes to read in bed before you go to sleep each night can do it. You can also look at audiobook versions, or short story collections in whatever genre it is you enjoy most!

Best of luck, anon, and I hope some of these answers will help 🤍

[obsessive-valentine]

Are your request open? Can I request a sequel to Barbarian?

I know he's kind and everything but I don't think I could give in to him 100%, like yes, probably return the kindness but never love him. Reader feels a lot of guilt about the attack and I think that after the event and realizing that they didn't have much to do in the situation, they just felt numb about everything, living on autopilot except when they are with their dog.

This is just my interpretation and basically a self insertion sorry haha.

I would love to know about their daily lives! Does the barbarian take reader to war with him? (If you delve deeper into my idea) Would he realize that reader doesn't talk to him much? Would he be jealous of the dog?

Requests are always open, I love to hear about people’s thoughts on my silly little characters lol.

I did focus more on the barbarians perspective on the relationship rather the actual complexity of the whole thing and psychological depth of it all, it was a rather shallow Drabble but I’d love to expand more on his character. I’ll see if I come up with any domestic short stories for him in the coming weeks, love that idea thanks :)

Yandere!Barbarian X GN!Reader Headcanons

The barbarian himself isn’t a good person, morally or in any other way, and he knows that. He understands what he’s done to you -pulled you away from everything you’ve ever known or loved leaving it all in tatters- he understands he’s killed innocent and guilty all the same and will continue to do so for the clan to thrive. And he doesn’t feel bad about any of it.

He definitely tries to sympathise with how his greed effects you, but, he doesn’t regret his actions but does understand to an extent how hard this is for you. This is why he tries to over compensate by gift giving and finding it within himself to be gentle and patient, so as not to damage you further (despite that being the polar opposite of how he was raised).

He’s not super emotionally intelligent so doesn’t really know what to do aside from the above. Anyone with common sense will learn fast that they can’t fight him off so it’s very possible to become numb and retreat into the mind. If you wont retreat into his arms he will try make it so you feel comfort in his tent that way you’re not always on autopilot but enjoying a craft or something in your quiet tent if even just for a hour.

Honestly though he doesn’t really mind if you’re on autopilot but does expect you to tolerate him, so if you are adamant on distance or fighting him you might trigger his temper. Like pulling and tugging you around, making you sleep in the same bed no exceptions, raising his voice to remind you who you’re trying to challenge etc.

A very tearful darling is a whole other situation, he cant stand seeing you cry, he’d be sobbing, crying, throwing up on the inside while trying to maintain a poker face and think up a solution.

Onto a lighter topic, the barbarians do move camp every few weeks and that includes reader (dont worry he never makes you walk) they don’t have a permanent home just their tents though our barbarian does intend to settle down at some point once the fighting becomes to much hassle for his ageing bones. But never once does he imagine bringing you into one of his raids, rebellions or battles.

He leaves you at camp with the members that aren’t participating that particular day (like the few women, elders or barbarians that just didn’t go-nobody’s forced to fight every battle, just to pull their weight). And of course your beloved wolf dog who he doesn’t regret, he doesn’t get jealous easily especially of the dog he got you for the soul purpose of cheering you up, if he can’t cheer you up at least the dog can and that’s a win in his books.

He’s really not high maintenance, as long as at the end of the day he load up your plate with his finest hunt and sit near you while you both eat, watching whatever fight breaks out in the clan from a safe distance before he has to eventually step in. There’s not much entertainment in the middle of the woods during the evening so you both take what you can get even if it’s drunken fight.

Maybe he takes you and the dog out for walks or fetch if it gets really boring at camp. Will bring you the best stick he finds for you to play fetch with the dog, he sees how much the dog means to you so he treats it with utmost respect. He’ll let you have control over this one little thing in your life for your own sakes.

Therefore while he would prefer you to love him truly, he doesn’t expect it (mostly because half the time he can’t tell the difference between your compliance and you showing affection), doesn’t stop him from trying though. He’s a saint compared to the barbarians before him... only for you though.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I don’t exactly know if I’m wording this right but would you mind doing TADC x png reader? Like instead of being 3D like everyone else they’re just kinda like a 2D image

TADC cast x PNG!reader!

Cant sleep so imma answer a few more requests!!! YIPEE!! I got to draw some TADC art tonight !! Dont like the sketch so I think I might post it on main when its complete...

Little self ramble aside! I hope you enjoy this op!

Written on mobile ♡

CAINE:

Honestly I can see caine making special IHAs that utilize different circus members unique digital abilities. Zoobles dismemberment thing, I like to think pomni has clown physics (as well as kaufmo!), and now you with your 2d self!

Though... I think more often than not it can lead to you possibly getting stuck somewhere... oops... he doesnt mean any harm, I promise!

POMNI:

Probably loses track of you if you turn, leads to her trying to call out for you only to be jumpscared by you turning to look at her

Eventually though she does kind of. Get used to it, at least the jumpscaring doesnt phase her anymore!

I think similar to zooble she would help you out of sticky situations

JAX:

This. Asshole. He would immediately pretend you're not in the room the second you turn 90 degrees. Will literally stop mid sentence

Mid SYLLABLE

Like he knows you're still there, hes just fucking with you

Has probably tried to see if a fan will send you flying. Like paper

Ngl this prompt is making me think ab teri from TAWOG

I need to watch TAWOG

RAGATHA:

makes it a point to keep the conversation going and include you unlike SOMEONE (glares at jax)

Always makes outwardly greets you to see if you're in the room (ie calling for you to get you to turn, ect ect ect)

Would not hesitate to help you if you got stuck somewhere somehow

Makes sure you dont get left behind in stuff

KINGER:

You know how in pomnis part I mention her losing you and getting spooked when you suddenly reappear? Given that he gets startled by gangle, when she hasnt done anything or left? I think kinger would be the same in that regard, but like. Worse. If that makes sense. Please dont sneak up on him, hes already at his wits end as it is, he doesnt need to worry about when hes going to get surprised again <\3

ZOOBLE:

Honestly I can see both of you getting along great! Unconventional digital body duo! Dismemberment mismatch body with body that literally becomes "invisible" if you turn.... do you think you've slipped through thin cracks before? Or just gaps in general?

Hey maybe if zoobles around theyd help fish you out!

GANGLE:

Kind of similar too, since ribbons are thin and flat; gangles ribbons are just curled to give her structure but they are still just ribbon.. she joins you and zooble in the unconventional digital body club

2d body, fall apart mismatch body, ribbon body

Silly club for you three

You guys both get stuck in the ground after slipping through a crack, gangles mask is the only thing visible since it couldnt fit/j

[thequietkid-moonie]

I have a request! If i can

Qin shi huang and hades ( if you can do both not separate ) with the most sweet and kind reader. Who is basically an angel and just them fighting over her.

Thats all! Thank you if you can do the request if you cant thats okay! I love your works aswell 🩷 have a nice day

In love with the same sweet and kind person

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Hades & Qin Shin Huang ] [ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]

I love when ppl tell me that they love my work! Is super reasuring and make me feel better!! ❤️ Thank u!!

Also, I love the prompts where is two characters in love with the same person, so thank you so much for requesting this!!!

Qin Shin Huang and Hades get along rather well, Qin remember Hades to his beloved brother and after a while he just start to platonically like him, while Qin since the start had treat him rather friendly and grows to admire him as a person, both grows to have a good friendship

For non of them matter if you are a god or a human, not even if you are a demigod or another kind of creature, Hades doesn't discriminate for the race and he just treat you as a equal while Qin just isn't bothered by it and just treat you like anyone else (and once you become his friend he is even more friendly and trust in you a lot)

Both of them tries to spend a lot of time with you, Hades likes your company and enjoys having you around even before developing romantic feelings, while Qin is more clingy, he is prideful and loves having little adventures so he is always draging you around to whatever he is planning to do

For both of them to develop romantic feelings for you is a slowly process but when it happens is actually pretty quickly for them to notice it

Hades is a mature and calm person, he knows himself pretty well so he almost immediatly notice the change on his feelings for you, and just like that he accept them complety with a smile. Hades will take a while before start trying to court you, being a slow start because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable or rush things

In the other hand, Qin is more carefree and kinda childish but that doesn't stop him from noticing the growing feelings of love he holds for you, it take him a little while but when he does he accept it right away, he thinks you are amazing so it isn't weird to think that he is in love with you. Qin becomes pretty open with his feelings, he becomes a little more clingy and affectionate, is pretty obvious that he is interested on you but he never accept it if someone asks

Your sweet and kind personality makes Hades feel at peace, it makes him feel like nothing else in the world exist aside from the two of you when you two are together, and is something that he loves, Hades feels like if with every day it pass he just admire you and falls in love with you more and more

Qin loves your personality, your kindness brights his day and your sweetness make him feel the need to protect you from anything and everything, also it make him being more playfuly, he just can't get his hands out of you (like holding your hands, resting his hand in your back so you don't fall or even carrying you around if you let him) and he doesn't seem to be able to leave you alone neither, he just loves being around you a lot

It won't take much time before both find out the feelings of the other, Hades is the first one to notice for how obvious Qin is, and won't doubt in confront him, calling him irresponsable and irritating for how clingy he is and when Qin notice Hades' feelings he tease him about it, but even if it doesn't seem like much there it start a little war between them

Both are constantly having arguments over it, mainly just when one of them are monopolizing you and being possessive, Hades calls Qin an irresponsable and sometimes a danger for you, while Qin call him boring and overwhelming with all his worries. However they never fight in front of you, they don't want to upset you or anything

Sometimes they opt to spend time the three together and they get along pretty well, the two of them were already friends so it isn't too difficult to let aside the fights for a while and just enjoy each other company

Both of them are man of honor and knows when they lose, if you ever choose one of them the other will totally understand and respect your relationship, but that isn't going to happen until they end with all the ways they have to try to court you or that you directly tell them that you love one of them (non of them will ever force their feelings onto you, but Qin is more probably to insist a little longer). As well, non of them will let this afect your friendship and will continue being your friend (of both)

If you end up being in a relationship with someone else it would be pretty irritating for both of them but at the end they will be supportive towards you (to Hades will be easier to accept it than for Qin)

Even if you don't choose non of them they will respect your choise and let you be, keeping your relationship as a friendship (however there is a chance that they will try to flirt with you sometimes for a while)