#and btw i fully understand that you could make up explanations for all of this if you had to - say if you were writing a fic or something

[galacticlamps]

Something I wanted to bring up earlier in the re-watch but held onto in the hope that I’d forgotten something that would eventually make it make sense is the Doctor’s motivations or goals in Tomb - because frankly, I’m having trouble finding any.

Does he even know he’s landed on Telos? Is he here to see the tombs? I think it’s pretty clear he wants to go inside, since he’s the one who single-handedly makes that possible at every step of the way (no matter how ridiculous some of those steps are, frankly - nobody else in this archaeological expedition could notice the other doors, without his genius to guide them? seriously? these people aren’t meant to be there by accident like he is) - but he keeps warning everybody else not to go further, again for no apparent reason. Not that contradicting himself is out of character either, but now we’re looking for answers to two motivation questions - why does he want to do this, and why doesn’t he want anyone else to know? And I don’t really feel like the serial offers satisfying reasoning for either.

Even his fears & suspicions (in theory, things that might give us an indication of what he hopes to achieve himself in spite of them) are all over the place - when Haydon’s killed in the weapons testing room, the Doctor is the only one not convinced it was a real live Cyberman, and spends the whole scene defending the sensible explanation - and yet as soon as they leave the room and find out the rocket’s been sabotaged, the Doctor now insists to Captain Hopper (with virtually the same certainty we just saw him use to disprove the existence of an alien menace hunting them) that it may well have been a ‘what’ instead of a ‘who’ that’s responsible for trapping them here. And later, when Kaftan closes the hatch on them in the tombs, Viner - the nervous wreck character who we’re inclined to dismiss as overreacting - is the one to immediately & correctly accuse the people upstairs, while the Doctor’s still on his vague, misdirected ‘it could be someone else’ thing - even though seconds later, he calls everyone’s attention to how unbothered Kleig is. He never seems to receive additional information in these moments when he changes his mind about what he’s suspecting, so it feels less like the Doctor figuring things out and making deductions, and more like lines being shoved in his mouth to lend a vague air of uncertainty and mystery to what’s going on, while also carrying us to whatever needs to happen next in the ‘plot.’

To his credit (I guess?) he is suspicious of the Obviously Suspicious characters too, right from the start - but despite later telling Jamie he needed to find out what Kleig was up to (which is the closest we get to an explanation for any of his actions at any point) absolutely nothing is accomplished by the Doctor being onto them from the start - partially because he himself keeps getting misdirected vacillating between believing there are/are not any other threats present, but also because he outwardly antagonizes them while subtly helping them - flipping the correct switches behind their backs and insulting their intelligence to their faces. He’s play-acting, which is typical of him, but there’s no logic to when, why, or how he chooses to do so, because rather than skate under the radar while observing the villains quietly and forming his own conclusions, he marks himself out as an enemy of theirs before they even get serious about their plan, even though he’s actively helping them put it in action.

There’s even an almost brilliant bit (I want to like it so much! but giving it full credit just feels undeserved) when they first climb down to the tombs and Jamie says “you obviously knew what to expect” to the party re: the anoraks, but he & the others wearing them aren’t in shot - the Doctor is, faring better than any of them in the cloak he brought with him from the Tardis and had awkwardly draped over his shoulder in his first scene outside the tomb doors. You could almost make the argument he’d planned getting this far, all along (and headcanon wise, you still could, if you wanted) - but there’s no getting around the fact that the actual story contained in these episodes does absolutely nothing with that implication, if it’s meant to be there at all.

It’s like a pile of Doctorish behaviors - some posturing and trickery, a bit of dazzlingly advanced scientific knowledge, a couple of clever conclusions and a few jokes sprinkled in among ominous warnings - but it’s all scrambled together with little regard for the picture it paints taken as a whole. And maybe I seem like I’m focusing too hard on it or holding it to a standard it’s not meant for, and that might be true to some extent (although I tend to argue that most of these serials are better than people give them credit for, not worse) but the thing is, in Tomb, all of these actions have a spotlight shone on them - the Doctor’s warnings are the final ominous line in a scene, shot in closeup with a sound effect following it before we cut to a different scene - or he hits the switches that make the hatch open and everyone gives Kleig the credit, so Jamie’s given the line “but Doctor, you--” until the Doctor hushes him, to draw the audience’s attention to both the fact that the Doctor is indeed responsible for Kleig’s success and unwilling to have the rest of the group notice that. The script treats things like this as though they are noteworthy and goes out of its way to make sure we recognize that the Doctor knows more than he says and sometimes means the exact opposite of what he tells other people - only to do nothing with it. Part of me’s inclined to call this an over-use of Red Herrings, but I’m not even sure the term really fits in this case? After all, that would imply there’s a purposeful misdirection happening, someone in- or out-of- universe trying to trick either the audience or other characters into believing one thing before a reveal of the opposite. But these elements are so inconsistent, they really don’t convince us of anything in particular, they just get us from point A to point B and from point B to point C & seem to hope we don’t notice whether the trip from A to C makes sense taken all together. And I think that much can be said of a lot of the serial, honestly, but with the Doctor’s actions specifically it’s not just the narrative/framing device that’s strange, but his in-universe actions as well, making the lack of a clear motivation - some goal that he might, theoretically wish to use Red Herrings to obscure - even more frustrating. In this case it’s not just a matter of how the story’s told, it’s actually what he’s doing and saying to these people, and it’s useless.

I can’t say the Doctor’s the only character the script does this to, but I definitely think he’s the one it’s the biggest problem for. Not only is he the main character, the one the audience knows the best & is used to understanding the goals of the best, this is also a terrible point in the series at which to run into this problem with him. Say what you want about Two, but he’s not made out to be as mysterious & inherently suspicious as a lot of later Doctors are, and without retconning that element of the Doctor’s personality and backdating it completely here, there’s no explanation available to a fan watching this in the 60s as to why he’s doing what he’s doing. And coming right after Evil (of all things!) where the audience always knew what he was trying to accomplish even when the other characters in the serial couldn’t be sure about trusting him, his motivations feel especially weak in Tomb, and they just don’t hold up to the same level of scrutiny or analysis they usually do. Two’s certainly capable of causing chaos, double crossing, manipulating people into doing one thing by ostensibly attempting to get them to do another - but here it just feels like replicating those behaviors directionlessly.

Of course, once the Cybermen show up and become the main threat, this issue pretty much disappears, since it becomes clear he wishes to stop them (no matter how many foolish mistakes are made along the way) - but they don’t finish defrosting until the end of Episode 2, and in a 4-part serial, having the Doctor’s actions be so confused for half of it is a pretty big barrier to enjoying it, especially since that confusion isn’t really part of or acknowledged by the plot.

[infinityroom]

Seconding the thank you!! I hope everything goes well with your projects!

What was the plan for the second Grian?

Were there any characters you had planned to introduce that didn't appear yet?

Were the endermites ultimately good or bad or neither?

Is there an explanation of how the room worked or what it was or how it got there or was there anyone behind it intentionally etc?

Was there an ending planned and what was it?

I love this story, and the format is so cool, secrets hidden in transparent images and galactic to be translated, and I love your art style!! Even though it won't continue, I'm so glad I found this!!

I hope all goes well too! Thank you for following the story! I'm gonna try to make as much sense as possible, but i might end up rabling, I had many things planned. -Elytra Grian was the character you were influencing the most because he was alone with only you to interact with at the beginning. There was a pattern with the Grian's, since he always was the one to make the room there were always a few more of him running around (the reason why I compared him to fireflies in that post I once made comparing all the characters to mobs, there's many of him but you wouldn't see them in the bright light of the room). If he was alone his main goal would always be "find help and get out", if he was with someone his main goal would always be "I need to fix this, I need to get my friends out of here". You can see that way of thinking in our "main" Grian. But Elytra Grian, thanks to the interactions with the asks and then Tango, was gonna behave a lot more like a cornered animal at that point, he wouldn't trust help from anyone, he would only attempt to follow the endermite because it promised an exit.

In my endless attempt to make this a multimedia experience the next main interaction with Elytra Grian would have been a small game. (Let me take the chance to thank my beloved @redstone-sun for Grian's sprite, they are amazing and I love them dearly and I'm so sad you all weren't able to play with their beautiful sprite)

With the game format you would have been fully in Grian's pov instead of interacting with him, being able to fully understand the endermite. Grian would answer the asks questions and speak with the endermite, Cassiopea. (All the endermites are named btw, Tango named each one. The plot relevant ones are Missy, the ear one. Yellow, the one Mumbo has. and Cassiopea.) The game would have had a fixed ending because I was planning on recording gameplay of it for people who wouldn't be able to play it for any reason and I didn't want people to miss out on the main story, but there would have been extra hidden bits for people who could play. Stories Cassiopea could share about previous events in the room and interaction with another Grian, one that had been stuck in the room for so long he'd been left mostly invisible and not really remembering anything anymore (a firefly that you can't see in the light).

The game would have ended with Elytra Grian entering his "egg arc" I like to call it. But I got explain the endermites for that.

-The Endermites are not malicious, but they are creatures born inside the room and become parasites to it to survive. When someone got bit by the endermite they entered their "egg arc" They could either become a parasite to the room or the endermite's meal they would steal from the room. The main requirement I had for that was, whether or not they listened to what the endermite said. Mumbo didn't listen, he shoved his endermite into a chest and pretended it didn't exist. Cassiopea would refer to him as "an egg that refused to hatch" (The reason why one of the old drawings of him had a cracked circle around him, it's his busted egg) . Tango did more than listen, he clung to the endermites with such desperation he became endermite number one. The various sets of powers Tango has are a mix of effects from being an endermite and being in the room for so long, turning invisible is something the room does, and being an endermite lets him control it and not disappear completely. Otherwise, he would just disappear at some point.

-I was never planning on fully explaining the room, but there was no one behind it. It was just an empty, hungry, space somewhere. Creating it left an echo of you behind, It slowly made the echo disappear, starting from the items, that's why having more items was good, there was more before it got to you. There were various effects to being digested by the room, again the most noticeable one would have been Grian since there were many of him, his disappearance would always begin with him being less scared, one of the last things that remain to him is always positive feelings. (The invisible Grian that Elytra Grian could meet in the game would be announced by Grian's actual laughter, I had a clip of it for that reason) Impulse meanwhile, in this story he was part wither! So the room digesting him was slowly taking away the human parts of him, leaving more and more wither. The two heads you guys could see were his wither heads starting to show up. They were gonna be two characters on their own almost, one interested in impulses' own survival, the other interested in actually harming anyone in sight.

-You would have meet the Iskalls soon, aka the meeting fanatics.

There used to be more iskalls, 2 more actually, created by iskall filming his fake meeting in Sahara. I decided to explain that as him entering the room multiple times to record the various bits. Unfortunately they died by False's hands at some point. Along them a Grian and Mumbo also died, by Tango's hand instead, making the remaining Iskalls decide to hide away inside the "walls". The walls were just a separate room they created with all the resources they had, they were just about to build the main building of sahara so they entered the room with full inventories, lots shulkers of bone blocks and many other things among them a few maps of the room to disguise the exterior of it. The room ended up being a meeting room, because "as long as they don't leave the meeting they are safe". They obviously do not like neither False or Tango, but while False actively would hunt them down, Tango doesn't want to bother them. He's already hurt them enough.

There was supposed to be an event before meeting them when reaching the walls. Grian and Mumbo would find "the cemetery" they made left for the other iskalls, Grian and Mumbo. Said cemetery would simply be 2 pickaxes, a sword and a trident left in the ground. The trident being named "Fork of Friendship" would let Grian know that there was another Mumbo at some point. Mumbo wouldn't realize, because he ended up in the room before ever receiving the fork of friendship. The cemetery would then be part of the banner for the blog, just for the extra pain.

-You already kinda met False, but you were gonna see the full mess she is. Absolutely feral, traumatized creature she is.

She had the misfortune of meeting Tango at a really bad time. She ended up almost being completely eaten by the endermites on the spot. The effects of the room plus what happened convinced her that her only way out was to win the war, because that's what it is, is it not? just part of that war? everything will be fine just as long as she wins! Tango feels bad for what he did to her. They are complicated.

She was going to completely break down at the sight of impulse and cling to him for dear life. He would be the only one she recognized as an ally for the first time in years. - For the ending, I'm not sure. I needed to see where you guys would take them. But I would have done my best to get some peace for the characters. They all deserved somewhere soft to land.

[yuseirra]

I went out for a walk and it helped me organize my thoughts, let me be bold about my theories/assumptions because I CAN and it's a now or never thing till it's proven wrong. But when I write these, I am confident to a degree. I get worried later, but I feel sure when I write them.

I believe Kamiki lied to Aqua to save him the pain of feeling sorry for him, the way Ai was very harsh when she left him.

Also, I believe Ai picked the right guy to love. This guy has a really tender soul. Or at least used to be, I think. He's very gentle in nature. Uh huh, he'd have been really good with their kids if he had the chance to raise them, him and Ai would have made a sweet family the way Ai pictured it to be. This guy's polite and sweet. Let me explain, okay?

I looked back at those segments in 154 when there's a flashback of Ai leaving Kamiki and Kamiki talking about Ryosuke, and the way things are laid out looks really similar to each other. I'd say it actually looks like parallels to each other. The sides of their faces appearing(and we don't see their eyes) and then their backs turned at the viewer. When expressions are concealed like these, you can't read what the characters are actually feeling. And this comic has really powerful expressions that are very on point and let the reader "understand" and feel what the characters are going through.

that entire page where Kamiki talks to Aqua about having wanted to scare Ai? I think 80% of it would be all lies. The only part that I believe is the actual truth would be that he did give Ryosuke the address and he didn't know that he'd kill her, but that's probably something that's slipped out by mistake. The explanation he brings up for having done such an action is utterly ridiculous and dumb. There are so many ways to "make someone despair", and needless to mention that it's so wrong and terrible to do, its also not something that's guaranteed to work, nor is it practical in the first place. It's an action that has really low probability to achieve the said desirable effect. That's why I keep making speculations about this, it does not make sense. I bet most of the fandom would have felt the same way about what he's said as well, saying stuff like: "How could he have never seen it coming?" Yeah, right?? I think he isn't responsible for this happening to begin with. Any person with a sane mind would feel this way, and he doesn't seem that insane. I think Nino could be irrational to some extent but not this guy!!! That's why I'm convinced that it wasn't this guy who could have done this, but Nino after she's been thrown into the picture.

Kamiki would know what he's saying doesn't make quite a lot of sense himself. He's a fully-grown adult!! Over 30 now, and he should know enough to realize what he's talking about. He's just trying to push through because he's been used to lying for other people's behalf and he's pretty confident that he can fool people, the way he used to be ever since he was so little.

What he's saying is just a flat-out lie to save his son from feeling the slightest amount of guilt for having to socially kill his own dad. I think so. Him and Ai are a liar couple. Ai lied and made it really harsh, I think, in order to save her boyfriend from feeling too terrible about the breakup, she wanted him to hate her for it and move on from her quickly and save himself. What Kamiki's doing here's similar. He doesn't want someone he cares about (he does care about his children btw, gonna discuss about this later) to have any remorse or concern over him. He'd feel better if his children just plain wants him dead, that's his way of loving them, the way Ai was for him.

Aqua's reaction towards Kamiki's ridiculous claim is so blank and unmoved, he should have been ANGRY, grabbed him by the collar, scold him, make inquiries, but Aqua just moves on to ask if Kamiki believed Ai's words. And then we see Kamiki's face with eyes, in acceptance, saying he did, continuing to say "everything Ai's said is the norm." That's a totally different approach to the claims he's made earlier, it contradicts it, because just a second ago he claims he wanted to have Ai feel the same despair as him and scare her for having claimed she can't love him, but then, he says what she's said (the fact that she can't love him) is understandable and right. Those two reactions, I believe, can't be simultaneously established at the same time. What he says later is how he truly feels about the situation. He just plain accepted that he was never loved. It wasn't something so surprising for him.

I said this in another post yesterday but he's as much as a liar as Ai is, they both constantly smile to pretend they're all right.

That smile he floats is consistent through the entire time he's shown in the story and the only times it breaks is when it has to do with Ai and when she sees him through. And it starts to break the moment he sees her talking about him. Every expression he makes when he sees Ai in the video are his true feelings. His smiles, on the other hand, are his coping mechanism and are all masks.

If you see his behavior patterns, Kamiki smiles when he's in distress, that's his way of coping when something he can't fully comprehend happens. He cries as he smiles as he seeked for Ai's help in a flashback in 153, and he tries to float a smile when Ai says she's going to leave him. And the way he responds to these tough situations, when he faces them, are... soft. He tries to calm himself down and inquires Ai "Why.. is that so?" and his reactions after that too.. are very far from aggressive. He was always far from being so during the times we actually see him do things.

I don't know how his way of speech is in Japanese, but I have a feeling he'd be the type that speaks in a very polite way. When him and Ai meet for the first time, I think he used honorifics to her and attached a -san to her name? He was pretty polite when he talks to Yura, too, and I mentioned this once but he EVEN ADDS A -KUN AND -SAN TO TRASH LIKE RYOSUKE AND AN ABUSER LIKE AIRI. The guy killed the love of his life and the woman.. I don't even want to bring up what she did to him, he has all the right to show signs of bitter hatred towards them, but.. he doesn't... This attitude of his is also consistent of how he was as a child. As a little boy, he was mistreated but he tried to endure it thinking 'but they're happy'. I don't think that part about him has changed so much. He finds it really hard to hate on people, even when it can be justified. That's why, I don't think he would have harnessed any hatred towards Ai. He didn't even do that to Ryosuke and Airi!!! They're terrible people!!! If he can't do that to those scumbags of individuals, would he to Ai?? Would he?? There are people who are selfish and are strong towards the weak and weak towards the strong but I don't think that would apply to his case. Nope, I don't think Kamiki originally has it in him to harm ANYONE at all.

I wholeheartedly see why Ai really wanted to protect him. He's just so.. vulnerable and maybe even too kind for his own good. Ai has a lot of protective instinct and she's really caring towards others in the ways she could. Seeing a guy like this.. would have really made her wish 'oh, I really want to help him.' AND that's exactly what she does!!! She's even left a message to her kids about this!! Help this guy with me, she says.

Continuing on with the polite and kind bit, this characteristic of him is ACTUALLY THERE in his interactions with his children. He didn't get to be with them, but I think he was happy he got a chance to approach and talk to them, he probably wants to give them their mother back with everything he's got from what I'm guessing. I think he may have just wanted to pet Ruby's head that one time his eye sparkled white and smiled. He could have been a proud dad, he praises his kids every time he meets them, says they're pretty, they made a good movie, congratulates them, says they shine. He understands Aqua's character and pays attention to Ruby when her career soars.

It's similar to how Ai was really proud of her children and wanted to spend more time with them but couldn't. I feel they would have been loving parents if they had raised their children together. It's just as how Ai's pictured it. She knows what kind of guy her boyfriend is. She's the person who'd understand him the most out of anyone, ever in the world and she wanted to be with him while being aware of it. He says he is willing to give his life for her, he STATES that as a quote. So, she did find someone who's pretty good! The guy had sweet nature, is good with kids, also had good looks(she had to mention that as she left lol.. that too is also what hurt him though, she knew exactly which strings to pull to render him speechless), doesn't have that much aggressive tendencies, is polite, a good actor, shares a similar past and could relate really well to her,

he did suffer a lot and that made him a bit insecure but he genuinely loved her and she did too, and if things brightened up a bit.. if he could have been lifted of those burdens he had..they really could have had a future together. The important thing here is that HE is the one she wants. Ai is very serious about love, and she's intelligent, I feel. She figures what's good for her and she gets what she wants. And she wanted to be with him. I don't think her being with him would be concluded as a mistake. There's been so many horrible things that were thrown to the both of them but, they were both essentially good people who found each other and wanted to love. I want the story to end with that sentiment. The more I try to analyze the guy, I feel he may not been that bad... he actually seems to be a pretty tender person inside. If only they could have been happy... idk how, but maybe they can still, you know? Because as they say in the first chapter, this story is fiction, but most fiction has a happy ending. Also, what I could infer from the movie arc when that was brought up again was that "love" isn't fiction. It's something very real that can't be brushed off as fake. Kamiki knows Ai's always loved him now, and he'll try to do something from his end. Love goes both ways and theirs will too, in the very end.

[starbylers]

This is a response to the person who sent me an ask about their doubt last week, just hiding it below incase people don’t want to see that :)

For context this is an in-depth explanation of:

Why Mike’s monologue had to happen

Hi! And yeah of course I can try. I fully understand why the monologue is throwing you off and as someone who doesn’t believe Mike was consciously lying you’ve come to the right place lol. I explained a little more about why I think that in the tags here if you wanted to read more about that perspective. I’ll probably link to a few other posts in this aswell because it ties into a lot of stuff I’ve made Byler analyses about before.

So the thing you said about his arc being ‘does he love her or not?’ is what I think is causing the issue, because that isn’t Mike’s arc. You’re right in that that’s the question that is being posed to the audience at face value, but that’s not his character journey. I have a long post about this here but essentially, the core driving force of a character cannot be another person��Mike needs to, and does, have his own personal inner conflicts which the Byler perspective provides (pressure to perform being grown up which is made incredibly obvious to us in s3, and dealing with the tumultuous process of figuring out that he is not straight in s4—I personally don’t think he’s there yet though, I think the full realisation of why he’s been having all these problems with Will & El is still to come).

The perspective of ‘yes he does’ love her just because he said the words is the crux of the entire plot twist, because it’s the conclusion people inevitably come to when they don’t pay attention to the details. (I don’t mean this insultingly at all btw! The whole thing is very subtle and easy to misinterpret). And ST is all about details, something which has been told to us by the creators and is also obvious in their use of foreshadowing/hinting/referencing in all aspects of the show, not just Byler.

Mike’s arc didn’t finish a season early. This has even been told to us i.e. by David talking about how s5 will pay off big characters including Mike, and Finn himself saying Mike still has a ‘journey’ to complete, and also just the fact that we don’t have the final season means no-one’s arcs are complete because the story isn’t complete. The fact that a “love confession” occurred at the midpoint (s4/5 are basically intended as two halves of one story—post explaining this here) is what makes it extremely obvious that Mlvn is not the conclusion of this tale.

The monologue can probably be said to have many purposes, but here are the main ones to me:

It presents a solution that ultimately ends in disaster, and associates that disaster with Mike and El’s romance. The monologue is so, so important in showing that Mike and El’s love did not, could not save the day. That it wasn’t strong enough—further proof from the script here. It shows that El got what she thought she wanted, only to discover it wasn’t what she really needed. It may have helped save her but it didn’t help her achieve her goals (save Max, kill Vecna). Kind of a metaphor for their entire relationship lol. It’s also supposed to show that not even an ‘I love you’ can fix their issues—they literally don’t speak afterwards. I’m not sure El’s fully processed all this yet, but figuring it out is what’s going to drive her arc towards self-actualisation and allow her to win next season.

It furthers the miscommunication plot between Mike and Will. It’s an indisputable fact that Will’s lie influenced that monologue. (We can tell just by watching but it’s also in the script if we needed even more proof lol. Not to mention: the track that plays behind it is You’re The Heart. The episode is called The Piggyback. Will’s face is right over Mike’s shoulder when he says ‘I love you’—Will is integral to and inseparable from that confession). That is so important, and something we’re supposed to notice. The whole point of the monologue is who’s really behind it (aka who’s really behind the painting & words that drove Mike’s speech), because this sets the stage for the Byler confrontation next season. It’s literally the Benverly poem plot from IT, something we know the Duffers have taken inspiration from.

If Mike hadn’t gone through with it, there would be no movement forward in the story, we’d enter s5 with exactly the same plot we just watched in s4—Mike trying to say he loves his girlfriend for the literal third season in a row. It’s boring, it’s not good entertainment. Mike finally saying it (and yet there still being problems between them & it occurring under questionable circumstances) pushes development in the narrative, sets up new conflict for the next season. Or, if Mlvn had decided to break up because of Mike not saying it in s4, that would’ve led to Byler becoming painfully obvious and ruining the twist they’ve been setting up for literal seasons. Everyone knows Will loves Mike, and if Mlvn broke up in that same season the entire audience would see the ending of the show coming from a mile away. Remember, Byler is being written as a plot twist. It’s very likely tied up with the supernatural plot too.

The content of the monologue itself is supposed to demonstrate precisely why Mlvn are finished, why they don’t work, and should raise people’s eyebrows about the legitimacy of Mike’s “confession”. Like you said…he remembered her t-shirt lol. It’s impersonal, nothing about why he loves her or what he loves about her; he literally, proveably, lies in it and anyone can verify that by watching s1; and he makes comparisons to superheroes which is the exact opposite of what El needs (her whole issue is thinking she’s either the monster or the superhero, when what she really needs is to stop thinking in such a binary, and learn to be El the teenage girl, the sister, the daughter, the friend, the human being, and find her power in that).

And something else they purposefully do this season is give us examples of other love confessions to contrast and show how ingenuine Mike’s really is: Jancy & Will (not my original post! I just expanded on op’s point).

Now as I said before I don’t think Mike intentionally lied. My opinion is that he knows deep down something is not right with their relationship and that he doesn’t feel how he should, but after Will’s speech and encouragement he choses to believe that he can love her, that he can be what she needs (except it’s not what she needs, it’s what Will needs lol). So not lying, but the monologue is basically a desperate attempt to a) grasp at straightness and b) save her life. He’s in denial, and also terrified of her dying. Very bad combo.

So yeah there’s my reasoning :) what you were saying about the potential of a familial ‘I love you’ is true, yeah it could’ve ended the plot line. But that’s the kind of thing that should be a conclusion to the entire story, something that occurs right before victory not disaster. Because then what would the implication be? That El’s family’s love isn’t enough for her to save the world?

And the way they will explain the monologue is so simple. It’s Will. It’s Will’s feelings that inspired Mike. All that needs to happen is for Mike to realise that, and the audience will realise it along with him. Mike: I only said that because of how much Will loves me? Audience: Oh! So he doesn’t actually love her! It’s Will, Will is who he’s meant to be with! It’s a classic ‘the person who was right in front of them all along’ trope. Once people understand that, it basically makes truly romantic interpretations of the monologue invalid.

I can’t say exactly how the ending will play out—I expect we’ll see the cracks in Mlvn shatter rapidly as s5 progresses, maybe more arguing/demonstration of their incompatibility or El asking Mike to say it to her face and he still can’t, Mike and Will simultaneously getting closer and it becoming increasingly obvious that Mike is in love—but I’m choosing to trust they’ll do it justice. Mike’s monologue is just a key turning point in the larger story.

Also just one last thing, you said he seems sincere and I do agree but I think it’s because his fear in that moment is extremely real, and there are truths within his monologue i.e. that he doesn’t want to lose her etc. so that’s where it’s coming from in my opinion :)

[ghostinthegallery]

Re-reading Twice Dead King, the character I was most struck by on a second viewing was Mentep. Now there’s a tragic figure. Simultaneously a mentor, an ally, an antagonist, someone so terribly understandable who I want to smack upside the head for being a lying liar who lies.

Ultimately, Mentep is a penitent. He has committed terrible acts (that we only get scant details of) and he wants to redeem himself. Thanks to his tampering with his own memories, he doesn't fully know what he is repenting for, which puts him in a bind. However, he knows that he played a role in creating the flayer curse/longing sickness, so he goes to a planet where a high concentration of them have gathered and works on his cure. He's respected, he's able to do his work with only occasional interruptions from the local angsty youth. Things are good-ish (until the armada shows up.)

Mentep and Oltyx have a weird relationship. Despite being his normal asshole-teenager self, Oltyx does respect Mentep more than most. Trusts Mentep enough to let the guy perform experimental brain surgery on him. Twice. And Mentep is able to be much more candid with Oltyx in return. He's one of the few consistently calling Oltyx out for his bullshit. On the surface, it is a standard mentor relationship, but what got me on a second reading is that there is hardly a single conversation Mentep has with Oltyx where he isn’t lying to and/or manipulating him.

It starts early with Yenekh. Mentep knows Yenekh has been suffering from the curse, he hasn’t told Oltyx, and when he finally has to tell him, he conveniently does so right before distracting everyone with the “oh btw, we’re all gonna die to a giant human armada” news. This is done with the best of intentions. Mentep wants to protect Yenekh (and Oltyx, in his way), so he delivers the news this way to get the bad news out of the way and then both of them on the same side. But it is the start of a pattern.

Which we get again when Mentep fails to mention a that Antikef is a flayer den ruled by a “We have Illuminor Szeras at home” Vizier, and boy does that end badly for Oltyx (see the last 60% of Ruin). Naturally, Mentep has a good explanation:

But it is another lie, one that costs Oltyx dearly (put a pin in this, I am coming back to it.)

There's some little fibs and ommissions along the way as they go to Carnotite, but it all builds up to The Big Lie. The one that sends Oltyx spiraling and gets Mentep killed. Because you know what really helps with paranoia? Finding out your mentor and your best friend have been hiding a secret blood pit in your basement! Again, it makes sense why Mentep is lying about this! He has every reason to believe Oltyx would have rejected the flayed ones he and Yenekh were sheltering (he in fact does exactly this), and Mentep's entire goal is to cure the curse to atone for his role in its creation. However...

I think Oltyx is correct to call Mentep out here (Oltyx is wrong about most things, but not this). Somewhere a long the way he became a means to an end for Mentep. Mentep was focused on The Curse and not the person in front of him who was cursed. He used Oltyx's friendship with Yenekh, his need to save his kingdom, his trust, his fears, all in service of admirable goals, but he was using Oltyx. Is it any wonder this is where it ended?

The lies were Mentep's undoing from the start. Remember the lie about Antikef? The one that led to all the events of Ruin? Yes, Oltyx and Djoseras did talk and avoid a civil war, but Oltyx also went through hell. He saw his home turned into an abbattoir, his father reduced to barely more than an animal. Oltyx was literally vivisected and almost consumed by his own dysphoria. And then committed regicide after leaving his brother behind to die. Antikef is where Oltyx truly learned that compassion was weakness and saw how horrific the flayer curse could become. So how was he ever going to accept the flayed ones as Mentep wanted him to? Oltyx experienced the comically perfect combination of traumas to ensure that would never happen, thanks in part to Mentep's manipulations.

I cannot stress enough that Mentep's individual lies all made sense at the time. May have even been the best option, at the time. But the consequences piled up, and even as he is dying he still refuses to give Oltyx even a scrap of the truth. That is the core of his tragedy for me. Well, that and this:

He bases all of his manipulations on his understanding of people's psyche's, which are usually accurate, but it also traps them. It gives them no room to grow or surprise him or for outside factors to come in and intervene. Contrast this with Zultanekh, who is upfront to a fault. He gives Oltyx advice and resources, but what Oltyx does with those things is up to him. Even when he is screwing up royally, he's allowed to make those mistakes. Mentep causes ones of Oltyx's darkest hours (the secret blood pit), while Zultanekh lifts him out of another (the Blood Angel's attack). In the end, Zultanekh is the one who sees Oltyx's true growth and witnesses the birth of his kingdom. A birth that comes not from curing the curse but embracing it.

There was never a sickness to be fixed, which means Mentep never would have achieved his redemption because he was focused on the wrong things. Which does make his death and rebirth as Xott a bit of a reflection of Oltyx. He was too burdened in his first life, but in his second he (or at least a version of him) was able to witness the people he hurt reaching a place of peace.

[twig-tea]

Be My Favorite Ep 11 First Thoughts

Okay, I took a lunch break at work to get this out, watched the episode and am writing this down now, before I read what everyone else thought later: I really, really liked this episode. Once again this show manages to never lie to us in the trailer and yet still take us by surprise in terms of how things play out in the episode. I have to say, I was really tickled by the fact that a time travel show faked out time travel in the episode preview by showing us clips from a time skip (but then still gave us time travel because it never lies)!

We got more from Kawi and Pisaeng's first time, first at the beginning of the episode where we saw more of their intimacy and all of the careful checking and non-verbal consent taking place after the verbal consent [btw Krist did a decent job of telegraphing comfort and intimacy here, I appreciated the arms around Pisaeng's neck] and a little more at the end, where we get more of the amusement park date and it shows us that Kawi wasn't lying when he said he had a good time. With that additional context I no longer needed a conversation, there was enough happening to be on the same page around Kawi's fears about intimacy and how he and Pisaeng moved past them together. I still think Kawi could be on the ace/demi spectrum and I feel for everyone who was hoping for explicit representation and didn't get it from this show 💕 You're visible and you're valid, friends!

Pear reading the poem over the montage was lovely and I really enjoyed that as a way of showing everyone reaching a new point in their different journeys at the same time (love that everyone gets to grow in this show except for Not, which is as it should be).

[Also just saying that this montage perfectly set up my clown theory for what the final post-credit scene will be for this show lol]

The flashback to the explanation about time travel was a bit oddly placed but I took him reflecting on it in this moment to be the closing chapter of Kawi's growth, that he finally fully understands the lesson that Time Travel Guy was trying to teach him and he's going to live in the moment from now on. This sets us up for the story pivot to Pisaeng as the protagonist later in the episode.

The relationship montage was so lovely! At first I was worried they were trying to show couples growing apart but it became clear that it was about finding a sustainable balance in a relationship. Love that Kawi gets a second set of covers and still cuddles with Pisaeng when they sleep, for example.

Kawi getting sick and having a flu turn life-threatening immediately had me thinking immediately about COVID and I have a lot of complicated feelings about the show not naming COVID.

The scene with the doctor was absolutely shattering, "are you his family?" ...and the pause where Pisaeng knew he couldn't say yes even though that's the true answer. Fuck every government that does not legally recognize our importance to one another. This is even more devastating with Kawi who literally has nobody else.

Pisaeng going back in time makes perfect sense considering his guilt and his desperation. What I really love about the switch between Kawi as main character and Pisaeng as the main character is that Pisaeng is getting an arc. It's so interesting that he's taking the chance now that he knows what he has to lose, rather than before when Time Travel guy offered to help him and Pisaeng was confident he didn't need it. I'm wondering what the show thinks Pisaeng needs to learn; the chance to learn to live for himself rather than for Kawi? To be able to manage not being in control? Or is this less about a learning opportunity and just a chance to get to spend more time with the love of his life, along the lines of Eternal Yesterday?

I'm wondering about the timing of this event in the timeline: I think this was around the time Kawi travelled the first time, assuming Pear's marriage is taking place at the same time in the various timelines just to someone else in almost each one. So now I'm wondering whether Kawi got the chance to try again because he was about to die in the first timeline (since that seems to be something that can't be changed, along the lines of Kawi's dad).

If that's the case, then I would anticipate that Pisaeng being sent back in time is his opportunity to process his guilt, grief, and fears about Kawi 's death with Kawi, come to terms with the fact that he has to face his present, and then travel back to....I really hope find out that Kawi does not die. But I'm kind of getting the sense that he will. As Time Travel guy says, he's used up all his luck. And as Pear's dad said in ep10, there's no such thing as a perfect life because change happens, so you need to be able to be resilient to change.

[I don't think we'll get a Once Again ending because this show is all about living in the present and living a time loop just so that you can be together would be completely counter to that.]

What I want to happen is for Pisaeng to get strength from past-Kawi to face his present, have Kawi survive, and let them process together about living without regrets so they can face whatever comes without time travel. And maybe join Max in fighting for marriage equality.

[Also sidenote, I wonder whether Kawi being less ultra-famous in this timeline is a side effect of him being in an open and public relationship with Pisaeng? He's still clearly doing music work but their apartment doesn't have the same accoutrements from his career that the other timeline did. I may be reading too much into it though; it's also possible that he prioritized their relationship more than he did his relationship with Pear, or just didn't decorate the same way in this timeline, or a mix of these.]

Excited to read everyone's thoughts!

[edit: @waitmyturtles just saw your note! Tagging you here a bit late]

[laithraihan]

I'm the anon who sent you the long message that apparently came off "pompous & infantilizing" and more to your followers.

I find it interesting that that message sparked such a flood of defenders, when I did not send it in bad faith at all. From your answer it seems I'm lacking context so sorry if I took some of your statements the wrong way, but nonetheless I just found the parental love addition strange and reacted to that, that was all there was to it. I clearly stated (three times) I'm not taking any issue with your headcanons.

By saying they are far removed from canon I did not mean to say they are "too unrealistic" or something is wrong with that, I literally said the opposite. I meant just that, that factually, this will not be a common interpretation for someone who is familiar with the source material but not your blog. This is not a statement that I made with any judgemental value and I thought I made that very clear but apparently not.

So I'm sorry for the additional ask.

Have a nice day.

Thank you for the response.

I was fully aware you said there was no issue with what I drew, but the way you wrote everything else sort of negated that statement. At least that's how me and many other people saw it.

If someone finds what I drew strange or confusing then they could always just... block me or ask me about it (and btw I expected people to be confused, otherwise I wouldnt have labeled it "non-coupling" as soon I posted it lol)

Someone did ask me about it, and you seem to have already seen that response, yet you still felt the need to send another message basically implying that an explanation wasn't enough (turns out it actually wasnt enough because people said I was lying and in denial) and that my explanation was weird too? Which is whatever I already ended up clarifying that, English is not my first language and I type things with the help of a translator (I wish people could actually keep this in mind. I only type in English because it'll reach a wider audience and it's the language most of my followers know. Often I have to google words people tell me online, or I ask my friends fluent in English to explain things for me)

You can say "that's not what I intended" but that's how it came across... you wrote a lot of nice words while also saying it was understandable that people were ganging up on me over a drawing, it seemed patronizing.

That's why me and others took offense to it, but I think it's difficult to tell tone through text so I don't want to keep nitpicking this any further. If you say you had no ill intent then I believe you.

The following will just be me adding more context and not necessarily aimed at you: Again I understand the lack of context of my account can make people confused about my art, Ive made that clear many times.

The art I made where I said "if your parents didnt love you then it's obvious" was a direct response to people who were mocking me specifically for tagging the art as "non-coupling" because they didnt believe me. They got the context and decided I was trying to hide a fetish because a kiss on the cheek was "obviously shippy". They proceeded to compare this to drawing NSFW of Mob and Reigen by labelling it "non-ship" as if it was comparable to tucking a child into bed, that's what upset me. I did absolutely nothing to these people, I dont know them, if they said this privately I wouldnt care but it was public, and they also targeted another friend of mine for no reason.

All Im gonna say is that my drawing shouldnt have caused this much controversy in the first place. I labeled it "non-coupling" as soon as I posted it, which should've been enough honestly. It's not like I posted porn or anything like that, I got the idea from something Ive experienced in my family as a teenager and I could easily google stock images of the exact same scenario to use as reference, like I really didnt think it was that bad.

Anyways I think I've explained myself many times already. Im not gonna be hostile and say to people "roh t9awed dont ever send me anything else related to this" but just.. check if Ive already answered your question so that it doesnt end up being repetitive. If you have a question about this that I havent answered yet, then feel free to ask.

[snimeat]

Wait. Sorry, but I read your tags and you have dyscalculia? I didn't even think it has a name, I thought it was part of the dyslexia chain of disorders... Which it is! But I didn't know it had a name! I can't believe someone has the same type of inconvenient bullshit as me! Tho, I'm guessing mine is much lighter, since I'm actually pretty good at math. With a lot of checking and people triple checking for me, and struggling with a line of an equation for like an hour before I can comprehend how simple it is in reality. Same with letters tho. The brain sometimes not comprehending what is visually presented and convincing itself it is wrong, when in fact it isn't. Words appearing out of nowhere in the middle of sentences when writing. Or words changing shapes and meanings as you read them, so you have to re-read a few times until your brain understands it. Fun times, sorry, I got into it.

I can't differentiate between 7 and 9 what's the quirk you got from it? XD I know it ain't funny, but I got excited! I mean, if this makes you uncomfortable to talk about, absolutely ignore this please ☀️

oh don’t worry, it’s part of the tumblrcore experience to read tags lmao.

but i do actually, i was also diagnosed quite late i was fourteen at the time. and boy, the struggles i had with it was huge and still is. i didn’t know it was in the same chain as dyslexia but thinking of it now, makes a lot of sense. nice to know a fellow dyscalculic too, i’ve never met anyone either. i don’t think i can define mine as lighter since it was one of the main source of anxiety for me growing up lmao. i just god, i suffered with the bare minimum when it comes to math. even the simplest of problems is difficult for me. i have trouble helping my almost 10 year old sister with her math stuff, to give you an example. i just run from it in any given circumstance. i think i do also double, triple check any calculations i do. i even take a step further and do it at least five times to make sure and my mind sometimes still goes “are you actually sure it’s correct?” and proceeds to count at least two or three more times to be sure, even when i have a calculator with me. my main struggle is forgetting the numbers i’m seeing, exchanging them, i have trouble telling the difference between thousands and millions and whatever else gets too may zeros or too many numbers, basically anything after 900 gets hard for me. it also affects my left and right, cannot get it right for the life of me. reading old clocks takes a few minutes lmao. but truly exchanging things was one of the main issues for me, and i wouldn’t even realise it. it was like my brain couldn’t see the mistake unless someone helped me get there. hm, what else?

< > these two symbols? trust me, i still don’t remember them to this day, i would have to use a visual written explanation to remember which one was which and i still would take a bit of time to get there because it’s just confusing to me. i never had trouble with letters necessarily, i don’t remember rn anyway. those math problems that required you to get an answer after seeing something like “matt has two apples and karen has whatever blah blah blah” i just couldn’t do it. geometric math was my deathbed. pythagora’s theorems HOLY FUCKING HELL my most hated back then. my brain would shut down and not work at all. the multiplication table thing? i swear to god unless it’s two or five (counting on my fingers btw) i can’t do it. it’s like i see math and i think i get it but i don’t, not really. it makes no sense in my brain, i can’t seem to grasp it fully. and it’s so frustrating. i could complain about my brain’s lack of understanding for a lifetime, okay?! 🤣

[shaiappreciation]

Why do you think Meruem didn't kill Pouf when he interrupted him while talking to Welfin? Meruem was totally going to do it and Pouf was totally willing to die.

(Btw, I'm glad you're back!)

(I'm always glad to make a comeback, but even more glad that people notice when I come and go <3)

It's been a bit since I've seen the whole arc, so I'll answer based off my memory; I've seen the CAA somewhere near 3-4 times + read through it in the manga as well, so I feel at least a little confident in my approach lmao

I think there's a couple of major pieces to that scene that offer an explanation, but I firmly believe that Meruem himself is the key piece in how he chose to handle the situation (which I feel goes without saying, but I want to be as clear as possible). At this point in the storyline, Meruem is only a minute or so away from remembering Komugi, and is also wavering between his human and ant components; there's also the huge piece of Pouf and Meruem having a psychic link, being able to feel each other's emotions. Before going any further into this, I'd like to show some manga panels of the scene (taken from the @/everyshaiapouf blog):

I feel like it's fair to say that these panels are almost definitely back-to-back, considering how Pouf was commandeering the scene. It's pretty explicitly stated that Meruem fully understands Pouf's feelings, which would include a dual-edge of secrecy, guilt, and devotion; Pouf's secrecy doubles back directly into the devotion since he fully believes that killing Komugi is the right thing to do for Meruem. While Meruem doesn't know that this is what's being hidden from him, he can still pick up on Pouf's intense loyalty, as well as his guilt, through his inherited usage of Spiritual Message.

Surprisingly, I haven't done a lot of examination of Meruem and his arc; I feel like a lot of people have already done so, with more attention to detail than I could provide. That being said, I'd like to give what feels like a more base-level analysis, with such being: him sparing Pouf can be seen as another manifestation of his humanity. The lines immediately before this are overdub narration, roughly saying that "loyalty and animosity were equally meaningless before [Meruem]", which then leads into the panels I've posted (if my memory serves correctly). Even though Pouf is completely willing to die to protect his secret, Meruem spares him in a simple act of humanity. I believe it's the same base impulse that allows him to spare Welfin after he says that he'd never bow to Meruem.

For the latter, it could easily be said that Meruem's priorities had shifted to Komugi, so it wouldn't have really mattered for him to linger, especially with him knowing that his time was limited, but I'd like to bring up another major event that points to Meruem's change in character: at the beginning of episode 135, where all these major events happen, he kneels before Palm in a gesture of equality. This act alone is unthinkable for Meruem at the beginning of his arc, as well as his act of sparing Welfin, and I think that both of these events tie in nicely with Meruem sparing Pouf.

Something else I would like to point out is that this is all visible in Meruem's thoughts towards the guards as a whole. Earlier in the arc, he struck each of them across the face, with enough force to knock Youpi down and throw Pouf across the room; in Meruem's last moments, he mentions how he was unworthy of his guards. His changes are more well-displayed through his interactions with Komugi, but they're visible with the guards in more subtle ways (the most overt I can think of off the top of my head being when he asked Pitou to take care of Komugi after her injuries).

The final piece I want to discuss is how he spared Pouf after remembering Komugi. Once more, it could just be said that Meruem likely wouldn't have wanted to waste any more time, but I'd like to argue against that - he took time to stop and wish Welfin the best of luck in living as a human. His refusal to deliver any sort of punishment upon Pouf, even when only a minute ago Pouf was prepared to let himself be killed, speaks volumes.

I'll freely admit that this essay isn't quite my finest work, so if anyone has anything to add or wants to address something I've missed, please feel free to add to this!

[bigskydreaming]

I will forever squint suspiciously at a fandom that overall makes a bigger deal out of Dick Grayson expressing he didn’t want to replace his father when he was still young and actively grieving than they do Tim Drake literally hiring an actor to be his fake uncle and saying no to Bruce’s first actual offer of adoption.

Like, if you can get on board with Timothy Drake-Wayne after that, because Tim changed his mind after he was further along in his grieving process, you can get on board with the idea that at some point after the age of ten or twelve Dick similarly changed his mind about thinking a second father would be an insult to his first father’s memory.

*Shrugs* I just don’t get how hard some people go to bat for the idea that Dick never wanted or needed someone he viewed as an actual parent at any point after he was eight. Because you can’t deny that whatever Dick has said about that in the comics, he’s NEVER made it nearly AS big a deal as most fans who cite it at all do. Like, when you run with the most extreme extrapolation of that but gloss right over Tim’s far more extensive efforts to keep Jack Drake the sole father figure in his memory at first, I feel like something else is going on there.

(And I’m not trying to turn this into a Tim vs Dick thing, btw, I’m honestly just using Tim’s story there as a benchmark for how a clearly parallel sentiment is overwhelmingly referenced in regards to just one character but not another. My issues with the way people engage with this particular idea in regards to Dick like, exists without Tim being in the equation at all. That was simply an example of the fact that there IS a discrepancy.)

But point being, as all roads in this particular direction of thought almost always seem to lead to Dick being slotted into some nebulous category separating him from the rest of his siblings, where he’s only partially Bruce’s kid but not FULLY, not like the others....I am the Wary. 

Because whatever the surface intentions behind that, it almost inevitably voids some of Bruce’s responsibility to him as a parent, while at the same time making it easier to heap parental or caregiver style responsibilities for the others on Dick. If Dick’s more like Bruce than he is like his siblings in the overall family dynamic, this not only lessens the need to show him on the receiving end of Bruce being a parental figure, it simultaneously heightens the urge to make him a parental figure to the others to pick up Bruce’s slack there, because they’re more partners than they are father and son, see. So why wouldn’t Dick pick up Bruce’s slack and help him out there, and why would he need Bruce to actually be fulfilling that very role with him instead?

All the things people are critical of Bruce for in his parenting with Dick aren’t quite as bad, right, when Dick’s not fully his son or doesn’t quite view Bruce as his father....its easier to reframe it as fights between colleagues. Or recast Dick’s estrangement from Bruce as not actually a failure on Bruce’s part to reach out and cement exactly what Dick meant to him every time Dick flat out says “I want to know what I mean to you, give a name to it, give me an explanation for why you made these choices that isn’t that you don’t want me because all I see when I look at those choices is you expressing you don’t want me.” 

Because if Dick doesn’t actually want that explanation ever, if Dick doesn’t actually want that rock-solid expression of Bruce putting a name to what he feels for Dick and what he views him as, then the arguments between Bruce and Dick in his late teenage years DO become two-sided. Its just them butting heads back then. Rather than what they actually WERE in the comics, which was Dick clearly expressing insecurities about his place in Bruce’s life and Bruce repeatedly letting him leave or outright telling him to leave without actually giving it to him.

(I’m not even talking about NTT #55 for once, I’m actually talking about when Dick went to Gotham after he found out about Jason being Robin now. And as the events of that issue get referenced a TON in fandom, its HIGHLY suspect that one specific part of that issue gets rewritten in particular: where its acted like it was Dick that stormed off in a huff there or Dick who didn’t want anything more than to confront Bruce about Robin. It really doesn’t get addressed enough IMO that yes, Bruce said outright that he did it because he missed Dick....and then two panels later, Bruce literally asks Dick to go now. Says I would like you to leave now. Bruce is the one who blew up and lost his temper, literally smashing something while Dick was just heated because he was understandably upset, while Bruce somehow made it like he was the one being hurt by Dick and asking for space from him. Yeah, he said I miss you, but he never DID anything with that and in fact just turned around two seconds later and drove Dick away again, like Holy Mixed Signals, Batman! Y’know? Like what exactly was Dick supposed to do with that? “Oh, so Bruce misses me, but also he didn’t want me there, like I was literally RIGHT THERE for the first time in seventeen months and he missed me so much that....he didn’t even ask me to stay for dinner? Or call or reach out to me afterwards? So....my conclusion is.....what, exactly?”)

Ultimately though, my big beef with the stuff about adoption or Dick not wanting to replace his father, its not even about those specifically. Its about that period when Bruce very visibly was NOT in Dick’s life....and that was BY BRUCE’S CHOICE. That is the thing that needs addressing in my book, and far too often goes unresolved. No matter what the particulars of Dick’s views or wants re: adoption, there is literally no confusion about the existence of comics where Dick is repeatedly the one to reach out to Bruce, at a point in his life where he no longer had any legal ties to Bruce whatsoever.....and clearly express in one way or another that he is there and willing to talk, that in fact he WANTS to talk about why Bruce doesn’t seem to want HIM, specifically. 

It was Dick who brought up the issue of Bruce adopting Jason but not him and asked WHY at that one issue with them at a party. It was Dick who returned to Gotham and asked Bruce WHY he made Jason Robin when he hadn’t wanted Dick to be Robin - (and for the record, NO version of events where Bruce is the one to make Jason Robin aligns with Dick voluntarily giving up Robin.....the one and only continuity in which Dick did that, HE made the choice to pass Robin on to Jason. Mixing and matching continuities specifically to make Dick unable to claim hurt or resentment for the identity he crafted for himself being given away to someone else without his approval because ‘he was the one who said he didn’t want it anymore’ is yet again, suspect, as it serves absolutely no purpose other than to lessen the hurt done to him and abdicate Bruce’s culpability in hurting him when he did that). 

It was Dick who returned to Gotham after Jason died with no intention but to express his condolences and share their grief, and it was Dick who returned to Gotham to check on Bruce after Tim said he was worried he was going to get himself killed, as well as again more longterm in order to help with Tim’s training.

And in each and EVERY one of those situations.....it was Bruce that ended those encounters, and ALWAYS without ever offering Dick any actual resolution or change in their dynamic. Despite Dick’s very presence in each of these being a very clear sign that Dick was unhappy with their estrangement and wanted a change to it or else he wouldn’t even be there, he would be off being comfortably estranged somewhere else and totally content with that.

THAT’S the bigger issue and always has been, I think. That no matter how else you parse it, Dick repeatedly looked for and asked for reassurances, some kind of actual TIES to Bruce, and that Bruce for whatever personal reasons of his own, repeatedly did not give....even when Dick walked him right up to the perfect opportunity to just fucking say “I would like you to come home more, I want you here, I want you as part of my family even though you’ve already aged out of our existing legal bond.”

Bruce still just WOULD NOT SAY IT. Dick was very clear about needing and wanting something from Bruce that Bruce DID NOT GIVE HIM. Bruce gave him basically nothing to work with in these encounters more often than not. 

(In the interest of not being disingenuous here, I do admit that at the party when Dick asked Bruce why he’d adopted Jason and not him, Bruce did give a fairly touching response about how by the time he thought Dick would be open to it, he thought that Dick was too old to actually want or need it anymore. BUT, problem is, even with that it does absolutely nothing to change or address how the very fact that Dick was expressing insecurity about this now meant that Dick WASN’T actually too old to want or need it. It was literally a smack in the face that Bruce’s conclusion was wrong and not actually about Dick’s wants. And Bruce knew this, even referenced it at later points when he threw it back in Dick’s face to accuse Dick of resenting Bruce adopting Jason and not him.....which is a clear indication that Bruce knew it was something Dick still wanted or else there would be no reason for resentment, and THAT is the issue there. That no matter what Bruce said at that party about his reasons for not adopting Dick sooner, that very conversation itself should have been reason enough for Bruce to rethink his stance then there....but he didn’t. Also he ended up adopting Dick like five years later soooooo.....if he could do it then when Dick was even older, that doesn’t work as a barrier for him not doing it then.)

And that’s the troubling part.....how many people try and make that period of their lives unclear with no other visible purpose than to make the fact that Bruce WOULD NOT OUTRIGHT CEMENT DICK AS FAMILY OR ASK HIM TO STAY, like.....less problematic.

And as I’ve said before and will no doubt say again.......that logic process bugs the hell out of me, because it ultimately tries to claim the responsibility for Dick’s unhappiness in this regard back then is at least as much his fault as Bruce’s. That it was some kind of fight between equals, or that it was something Dick initiated or that Bruce had no power to resolve on his own via just his own choices or gestures.

Because it wasn’t! That’s not remotely what all of that was! And like I’m also always saying, you don’t HAVE to stick with the canon by any means. You can literally rewrite things so Bruce adopts Dick before he’s eighteen and they never HAVE that period, you can rewrite things so that Bruce reaches out and ends that period early on by DOING THE WORK of being the parent in that situation, you can ‘fix that’ by any number of means......yet over and over we see that period of estrangement repeatedly upheld as a thing that exists in the history that fics and headcanons reference having happened......but with the only ACTUAL change from the comics being that its framed as though it was just growing pains or Dick being stubborn or a dozen other things that somehow keep coming back to Dick doing something wrong there instead of repeatedly standing in front of Bruce asking for him to clarify their relationship and Bruce changing the subject or asking him to leave.

Again. THAT’S the problem.

You want Good Parent Bruce Wayne? Then WRITE Good Parent Bruce Wayne. Don’t just write Stubborn Teenaged Asshole Dick Grayson who btw doesn’t even really want Bruce to be his parent so there’s absolutely nothing Bruce could have done to bridge that gap back then anyway. 

(As that’s an equally critical part of the equation here as well. See, since Dick DID clearly express a want for a clear connection to Bruce back then, acting like Dick never really wanted a second father is a super convenient way to write over the part where Dick spelled out for Bruce how to bridge the divide between them and make things good again.....by demonstrating an actual WANT to have Dick in his family!)

But writing Stubborn Teenage Asshole Dick Grayson Who Did This To Himself.....that is something entirely different from writing Good Parent Bruce Wayne. You haven’t actually done or said anything with BRUCE’S character by just making Dick the fall guy for every conflict between them as though they were just equals all along and there was never any kind of actual parent child relationship or even a DESIRE for there to be a parent child relationship. Where the responsibility for being the PARENT like, lands on the....y’know. Parent.

And for the record, I don’t think this issue is confined just to this period of the comics, I think rather that its kinda the point of origin of a very large recurring problem in Dick’s conflicts with other people.

Because like I said, it was abundantly clear that Dick was expressing a want to be acknowledged as family, or just flat out acknowledged by Bruce at all, during this time. And if people can somehow make THAT period into just his fault.....then of course it should be no surprise that they can make any conflict he’s part of into his fault. Its a freaking blueprint for doing just that! 

And that’s exactly why this pattern recurs so damn often with EXACTLY the same fanon beats......whatever role the other character plays even in initiating a conflict is shifted onto Dick and somehow made into his own proactive choice and not something he’s actually reacting to. Thus Dick does double duty as both the CAUSE of the conflict and the resulting EFFECT - aka how he reacted to that thing that originally, he did not actually cause or initiate. While meanwhile, the other character not only gets off scot free bearing no actual culpability....no, now since DICK is the one making all the actual choices in the conflict from start to finish, now the other character is actually his VICTIM in it as well.

And that’s just.....so....blegh.

[steveharrington]

this is a rant about a very specific issue but i must put my thoughts somewhere cohesively. so. this trend on tiktok thats like “put a finger down” and then at the end you’re like diagnosed with a mental illness or just source of your problems is very very very bad and its especially bad that i just saw one made by a LICENSED THERAPIST who said that experiences like “not knowing what you’re feeling” and “feeling empty” are signs that you had a neglectful childhood. now can these things be a result of having a neglectful childhood? of course they can. but they can also be a result of many other things! first of all the broadness of the statements makes it impossible to narrow down the cause of the issue. someone watching this video might feel empty because they’re in the middle of a pandemic and they havent had real human interaction in over a year. they might feel empty because of an emotionally difficult event that they’ve experienced recently. there are a million specific ways that individuals might experience a feeling of emptiness, but this video basically just picked one and told them it’s probably that. not to mention that therapy requires time! you cannot be diagnosed in a 60 second video. your feelings need to be articulated by YOU not verbalized by a stranger on the internet. the frequency of your symptoms needs to be taken into account. feeling empty every once in awhile in passing late at night is drastically different from feeling empty every day to the point that feeling real emotions seems foreign to you. all of these complexities and specificities are important. and why does it matter? because under the tiktok made by the Licensed Therapist there were comments from people saying “hey i put my fingers down for a lot of these but i feel as though i had a supportive family growing up” to which the answer from this therapist in a second video was “yeah but maybe they didnt fully support you and you just didnt realize” and THAT type of shit leads to people having a false understanding of the root of their feelings and behavior. it can detract people from being diagnosed with something they ACTUALLY have. there is overlap in symptoms between mood disorders, but if someone just assumes they have whichever one popped up on their fyp because well a therapist said it so it must be true.....it might delay them receiving an accurate diagnosis! its dangerous and its shitty and this therapist made a whole other video to say “hey btw these symptoms could be indicative of something else” but of course that video had several less thousand views because when a teenager scrolls along their fyp and sees the original video, theyre likely not gonna stop and explore this person’s entire page. and if you think im not giving teenagers on tiktok enough credit to understand this differientiation themselves, just scroll through the comments! literally hundreds of people commenting “wait........i put all my fingers down :O i never realized.....” because they’re eager to accept an explanation for their feelings from someone with credibility. its dangerous and it fucking SUCKS

[mooity]

my twt timeline discussing c!Tommy's mental health: ''he's been through so much trauma omg'' ''he is obviously struggling and needs therapy'' ''I can't believe Ranboo raised his voice at him omfg'' ''you can hear how traumatised he is'' ''its understandable that he lashes out, he has been through a lot''

my twt timeline discussing c!Wilbur's mental health: ''ew he's even more crazy now'' ''I can see he's already back to be being manipulative'' ''why is he complaining about how he felt in pogtopia, does he not know how bad he makes people feel?'' ''listen to how crazy he sounds''

like, I don't know if It's just because I sympathise more with Wilbur due to my own mental health struggles being similar to those his character portrayed (paranoia and depression) but I really don't like the way some people are talking about the Wilbur now that he is back. They always seem to go so easy on characters with more acceptable mental health struggles than those with the messy ones. this is gonna be a long one btw.

first of all, stop calling characters with mentally illnesses that you can't romanticise crazy and insane. Just stop it.

also, it's fully possible to unknowingly manipulate someone or to say something manipulative without meaning to be, especially when you suffer from mental health issues such as paranoia. Still harmful but the distinction should be made.

Anyways , l want to make two things clear:

Wilbur soot is undeniably a villain in the story at this time. I think he is definitely a tragic character and nowhere near as bad as some people make out but he has still done some absolutely awful things.

Tommy has most certainly got trauma and mental health issues of his own that should definitely be discussed by the fandom. and he has undeniably got massive amounts of trauma as a result of Wilbur's actions.

However, I do think a lot of these people that are trying to highlight and sympathise with tommy's trauma completely erase all complexity and depth to Wilbur's character and reduce him to ''evil crazy dude'' and often erase Wilbur's own trauma in order to further vilify him.

Wilbur did cause a lot of harm and trauma but he also has his own trauma that shouldn't just be erased because he is a villain. He very obviously suffered from extreme paranoia and straight up yelled about how he wanted to die during the time of the pogtopia arc. A lot of his so called manipulative actions are done more out of fear and paranoia than him wanting to cause harm to people. They still harmed plenty of people but it wasn't just will being a horrible person.

He literally straight up said that pogtopia was the worst point in his life and that he was extremely suicidal but people are completely ignoring that and talking about how he hurt other people during this time. Lots of people seem to have the view that he can't complain about he felt during that time because he was harming others during that time but I think it should be viewed more as an explanation for his actions. Wilbur got to a point that he was so depressed and so paranoid that he started to believe everyone was against him, that he could trust no one, that everything good was gone and started to hurt others as a result of this. He wasn't really in touch with reality. He wasn't really hurting these people on purpose but he saw no other way to get out of the hell he was living. Maybe he didn't even really know the pain he caused. I certainly don't think he is to blame for everyone's trauma like tommy said he was, though I fully understand tommy's viewpoint and greatly sympathise with him.

And the fact that people have literally just heard Wilbur talk about him being suicidal and then immediately gone to Twitter to talk about how they want all the characters to tell him how he’s such an evil person really says a lot.

Wilbur needed help. Wilbur still needs help.

Wilbur has done some bad things but he isn't evil. He's just ill.

If you watch the earlier streams back, you can see that Wilbur is a good man that slowly got sicker and sicker as time went on.

He is not really an evil character, he's a tragic one.

[misumeaw-blog]

13 Days 13 Fanfics | Counting down Albedo’s Birthday

Pairing : Albedo x GN! Reader 

Genre : Fluff | Established relationship

Warning : None

Word count : 1,699 words 

note : I can die peacefully now, I believe the entire family can hear me screaming. Day 13 will be based on Albedo's mail. I suck at kissing btw, sooo I tried

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 12 Moment of Birth Part 1: Midnight

Light from houses in the city of freedom starting to turn into darkness; but not all, liveliest place in the slumbering city in the lake still filled with drunkards and music from the bard. Angel share, is night-active with drinks and socializing drinkers.

You have a meeting with your friends to discuss what to give Albedo for his birthday, Although..

 

“You guys seriously haven’t kissed yet? It’s been nearly a year”

things seemed going in the completely wrong direction “Shhh quiet please, Captain Kaeya. It’s not a big deal, I understand he wanted to take things slow” Still, there are times where you yearn for more than hugs and pecks on your face.

“Our Chief Alchemist has really taken your advice Too well, Kaeya” Lady in purple attire and a large witch hat, decorated with roses spoke up “That little genius never opened up for this sort of relationship” eyepatch man took another gulp to his mouth “I’m still surprised you managed to make him fall for you”

“Kaeya, rude” lightly zapped the one-eyed captain before turning to you “If he doesn’t make the first step, you’d need to do it” she placed her finger on your lips “Alright, alright, stop everyone” you harsh your friends before things getting out of hand “I just wanted a piece of advice on what to give Albedo for his birthday, so how did this turned to-“ Yup, that sparked your idea.

 

Both Knights of Favonius glanced at each other then back to you “Do you still need our help?”

 

The following morning you knocked on the Acting Grand Master’s room “Come in” an assertive voice flew out from the wooden door “Good morning, Master Jean. Do you know where Klee is?” “Good morning, I think she’s by the lake near Wolvendom. Oh and if you’re going to meet her, please make sure she doesn’t explode all the fish” she spoke without looking at you, eyes on massive amounts of paperwork

“One other thing, Acting Grand Master. I would be greatly appreciated if you kindly grant Albedo’s leave on his birthday” you figured your boyfriend might need a day off, in case he wanted to spend time with you and Klee “Oh right, his birthday is approaching” she glanced at the calendar “Yes of course, please do send him my regards if I couldn’t inform him myself” Closing the door after thanking her, ‘alright, off to Wolvendom’ you recalled your plan

 

Explosions can be heard from afar, the little girl should be nearby. Fish flying out in the sky, big splash easily visible. A small girl in red clothing having fun tossing bombs into stilled water. You called for her and she turned around “Y/N! Klee missed you” red coat sprinting to you, hugging you as soon as you’re in her reach By now she sees you as another sibling, despite you’re actually dating her brother. “Having fun today mh Klee?” glancing at the amount of dead fish on the ground “Yup! The kind uncle at the fishing asso..asso..” “Fishing association?” “Yes! the fishing association told Klee there’s a bunch of new fish all over Mondstadt, Klee will blast them all” You know fishing normally is better for the fish, but you let it slide for her happiness “Hey Klee, I have to borrow your brother the day before his birthday; well, tomorrow, is that alright?” You crouch down to the little girl’s height “Aw, but Klee wanted to be with big brother Albedo..” “I know Klee, but by that time you would be asleep. Would you like to help me prepare snacks for Albedo then?” “Yayy, Klee wanna help!” “Alright, keep it between us m’kay?” Holding out a pinky finger for the young one to hook with hers

 

‘And to keep Albedo busy..’ You head to the fountain plaza to one of your boyfriend’s assistants, Timaeus. “Morning Timaeus, do you know where Sucrose is?” A bit weird to start a conversation about her, since you and Sucrose don’t really get along “Sucrose? I’m not sure. Do you want me to help find her?” “No, no no no, uh, Timaeus, I need you to help distract Albedo tomorrow, mild difficulty experiment, anything” “Is that all? All Right” Scholar alchemist agreed to lend you a hand “Thanks, Timaeus”

    You headed off to your next destination ‘Alright, time for a hard part’ the last part of your plan is rather hard, you wondered if he gonna help you

 

 

“Mark it as done!” wow that was.. easy, perhaps it’s because of three high-quality bottles of wine in his hands. You asked.. or rather, hired anemo bard to play songs for the night and extra requested to let the wind carry the song to you.

In the evening, you have scouted the area you wanted to give the alchemist your gift and found the perfect place. An area where you can see both the city of freedom and the icy summit, high enough for the gentle breeze to flow, beautifully decorated with flowers and greenery. Starsnatch cliff, also the home of the flower which held meaning, the truest feelings of prodigal son, Cecilia.

 

The next day everything went according to plan. Light meal fully prepared with the help of the pyro girl, Timaeus kept Albedo busy so he couldn’t come home and caught you and Klee in action.

Quite late night when you knocked on Alice’s door, the blonde, still in his usual attire opened to greet the unknown guests. “Y/N? What are you doing here this late hour?” Judging from the angle of the moon, it's around 9-10 PM “Hey, what about me?” eyepatch covering male’s hand and he placed his elbow on the opened door, the alchemist only nodded to his presence “Evening Bedo, I would like to show you something, could you come with me please?” you don’t normally use the formal language after being with him for so long. He can sense your shyness from the way you speak and your body language “I’d love to go but Klee..”

You pointed to the man behind you “Don’t worry about little Klee, just go enjoy your time” he basically dragged the alchemist out of his house

 

 

Chitchat along the way, fingers intertwined with his “Not sleepy yet aren’t you?” you bent down and look at him in the eyes “Not at all, I’m rather excited about what you prepared for me” giggled to his answer “Good, 'cause the night is still young!” you have reached your destination, Large fabric covering the grassy ground, a basket filled with snacks lies atop, along with a flower vase to decorate the scenery. Log of wood has bags and books resting against it. The wind bringing the scent of white flowers and the tune of the harp. Moon and star shining bright, needlessly of other light sources.

“Didn’t know you had anything romantic in mind” he teased your boldness “..well, what do you think?” hiding your embarrassment and teases the alchemist back

Sitting down to the location you prepared, he started to examine the scene “There’s no musician nearby, nor to any instruments.. Am I the only one hearing the melody?” Trying to find a scientific explanation for a strange event “The wind carries messages. Was music not a kind of message too?” He wrapped his arms around your waist, drowning in the love you gave him

“Enjoying it hmm? Here, I prepared some light food for us” slowly getting plates and snacks out from the weaved basket, the fabric is soon filled with various types of dishes "You’re not gonna sit on your seat?” his arms tightened, head bury to your shoulder “..I don't want to move” it’s rare seeing him clingy to you like this “you’re adorable you know” finally commented on his action

 

“We got your favorite,” one of your dishes has turned to Albedo’s favorite “These are canapés, I chose bread base, topped with different types of savory” bite-sized dishes, you know he prefers smaller portions

Pointing to each topping one by one, explaining what each one is made of. In his eyes, you’re like a professional chef

“Bedo, check this one out” you pulled out Fisherman’s toast with clover ketchup, onions, cheese, and heart-shaped parleys “..Fish-Flavored Toast, Klee’s specialty. You’re so thoughtful, I have to thank her later” he pecked your cheek, definitely in love

“And we got desserts- after savory alright Bedo?” His hand was already reaching for the dish, you have to stop his fast hand Brownies, Berry Mille-Feuille, and a jar of chocolate chip cookies are all making him drool “Shall we dig in?” He suggested, perhaps the desserts engaging him.

Your hypothesis was turned down after seeing him having a high appetite for savory, you figured he actually wanted to savor your cooking

 

Hours passed and you both are finally full, cuddling against the wooden log, enjoying the melody floating in the air. His platinum hair reflects the elegant moonlight, half-lidded eyes resting against your neck, handheld on yours. You looked up in the sky- its almost time

“Albedo?” He replied with a sweet hum, glancing up at you “Do you know what day is tomorrow?” “..my birthday. but I still don’t understand why you chose to celebrate it tonight” “Wouldn’t be nicer to receive a gift directly after the clock strikes midnight?” Lifted his chin to face you, he’s so close to you, closer than usual

Both yours and his cheek painted rosy, he cupped your face and look deeply into your eyes. “was all this not my birthday gifts?” “nope.. would you like to find out what it is?”

 

Moon motions overhead, the clock strikes midnight, soft breeze touched exposed skin, the sound of the harp soaring in the sky. stars as the witness, Cecilia as the oath, feelings as vow sealed between the two bodies.

Hand slide by the side of his neck, placing on the backside and pulled him closer, half-lidded eyes slowly closed, chest-pounding hard, tilted your head to the side a little-

sweet lips finally placed on his loving ones, passionated and full of affection, butterflies flying in your stomach. After a while, you break the timeless kiss

“Happy birthday my beloved Albedo”

[transmutationisms]

can i get a c1 vibe check/general explanation? great quiz btw, unhinged

c1 is based loosely on a sanguine temperament, desirous soul. this is a great vibe from an outside perspective, although you might be a little tormented by it on the inside.

type 1s (desire) have been rarer across the board than both 2s (wisdom) and 3s (spirit). desire in the sense it's being used here isn't just about, like, wanting stuff. it's more like you're in a state of being really perturbed by everything all the time. (think, like, racine's phèdre, if that's smth you've read). i say this with love because i test type 1 as well, but it's kind of torturous sometimes. it's easy to feel like you're insubstantial, lacking a solid/continuous identity, or like you've sort of become the world's doormat.

however! when you combine the desirous soul with the sanguine temperament, you get a person who's really able to find (and love) all manner of beauty in the world, even when doing so kinda hurts. you're probably magnetic in a way you don't fully understand. you have this kind of pull on other people where you're hard to look away from, and i mean that in a really good way. i'm always very jealous of type c people.

that said, it's not necessarily all sunshine and rainbows inside your head. you might feel like people get so dazzled by the face you wear on the outside, they don't realise it's tearing you up inside. you maybe try to take the mask off, sometimes, but also feel so afraid of what you could lose without it that you figure, receiving love in a superficial way is better than not receiving it at all.

i'd guess you worry that you're just a pretty façade, and it makes it hard for you to let people see behind it. but you also know that if you keep locking them out, you'll never get another person's gaze to confirm you're real after all.

[quwarichi]

heard from your mother au - The Ripple Effect

this is my early birthday gift for @schmuzz1 Ever heard of the ripple effect? you probably did but let's go over it once more; the ripple effect is like if you took a rock and threw it into a lake. Where the rock would hit and sink a ripple would be created, and from there it would only grow bigger and bigger, taking over more space, until the water settles again.

HFYM is the ripple effect ficsonified. The premise is simple, for those who watched the episode Despair in the last season of Supernatural. Castiel confesses his love to Dean, gets taken by the Empty. He wakes up in 2003 in a motel room, without his memories and only a memory saying “Don’t do this, Cas” which helps him figure out his name is Cas, and that he’s a hunter. Simple.

Then he meets Dean.

Now, we’ve all read various pre-series fics, haven’t we? It’s a token when giving fans a time-gap that we don’t know much about, they’d try to fill it as best as their imagination limitations will help them. So what is so special about HFYM?

In a word; Cas.

Meet this angelic being, who without his memories fully believes his humanity, and drives around the US not looking for answers, exactly, but just trying to help out to the best of his ability. By putting Cas in a setting pre-series, and letting the readers know that this Cas is their Castiel, the story already kicks into gear with a race to see when and how Cas will affect the story.

We didn’t know about angels until season 4. We didn’t THINK there was a better way to kill demons other than the Colt until season 3. Characters and themes that we would’ve taken years to get to know in the show are being used and constantly appear throughout what HFYM would call season 0 (or is that just me? make some noise). But Cas changes all of that just by being. For this next part, I recommend you stop reading this post if you haven’t read this fic, go read it in its entirety, and come back here after you’re done and had time to adjust.

We good? Good.

Pamela Barnes, the love of my life and a five-episode cameo in the Supernatural show. In HFYM, she acts as Cas’ best friend most of the time, teaching him the highs (hehe) and lows of having what they all figure is a really developed psychic ability. Bringing Pamela in chapter 16 was not only a brilliant use of character but a ripple effect. But I get ahead of myself. To understand why Pamela is suddenly there, we need to identify the biggest ripple of them all; Dean fucking Winchester.

Dean and Cas, from the start, develop a sort of kinship. It’s reminiscent of their first meeting in Lazarus Rising, where Castiel rescues Dean but also has its own charm. Here, Cas has no idea he’s an angel, and that’s why humanity is so strange to him. Dean views Cas as a weirdo that is not to be trusted, and later as a weirdo that he can kinda trust but make sure to watch his back around him.

In a way, they’re mirrors. Cas’ effortless way of creating acquaintances highlights just how isolated Dean is from people because of John’s influence. Whenever they’re together, Dean finds himself surrounded by others too, but apart it’s clear that Cas (to much of my, and probably his, surprise) is the social one.

Quoting the fic tags: “like maybe if he [Pre-series Dean Winchester] got a boyfriend he would have calmed down” is the very abstract explanation of the ripple effect. By being isolated for so long, without even Sam to keep him company, Dean couldn’t develop properly, resulting in the Dean we get in season 1. But ripples (courtesy of Cas) reach him and that’s where it all comes together. By meeting Cas pre-series Dean is given two things; one, no more isolation, time to grow sunshine. Two, a romantic subplot.

Now I don’t know how much you know about media - but romantic subplots are usually very character forwarding if done right. The best thing about the romantic subplot in HFYM is that it’s not immediate. Fuck no. It’s built on months of friendship and a bond forged in hunting, in putting each other’s lives in the other’s hands like it’s nothing. When they finally get together (I did the math, they get together when the story is like, halfway over. 52% to be exact) it makes sense because you watched them forge the bond and thus pushing their character development further. Romantic subplots are one of the best ways to push a character to their limits (looking at you, chapter 49) and then break those limits. So the biggest ripple was basically Cas and Dean thinking “huh, lemme smooch” and then doing it instead of eye fucking for twelve years.

But that’s not what I’m talking about, exactly. The biggest ripple effect that Cas did with Dean is that when season 1 starts (did I mentioned this was a canon rewrite? We love multitasking), when Dean goes to get Sam for Jericho and everything is put into hyperdrive, Dean is different. It affects how people around him act, especially Sam. The first season is very Sam-driven, but the main character will be changed by changing the “supporting” cast. It doesn’t help that Cas ripple effect number 2932#: Save Jess has definitely quelled the grief-rage thing that Sam has going on in canon since she’s not gone, and is actually around them for a while before leaving to work with Bobby and Jo. Sam immediately notices that something’s different about Dean, but he can’t put a finger on it. Requoting tags: “he would have calmed down”. Gone is the aimless rage and loss that makes him reckless and drinking too much. Gone are the women chasing days because he’s in a committed relationship. Heck Dean has a bit of self-esteem now, having bagged that (points at frog-shirt wearing Cas) and it affects the story in the way he and Sam interact.

Sam can feel that Dean’s hiding something from him (Cas) and it makes a rift between them because he doesn’t get who’s this hunter Dean hangs out with that is definitely replacing Sam in Dean’s eyes - the same guy who used weird powers to save Jess from a demon. Dean is still hurt over Sam leaving for Stanford and anxious about him finding out about Cas and John and everything. Basically, take season 1 brother dynamics and throw a live grenade in the mix. That grenade is Cas, btw.

Ripples, man.

Cas affects the story - he gets Dean to get back in touch with Bobby because he’s looking for an explanation for why he heals from mortal wounds like it’s nothing, why he doesn’t need sleep, and why he’s never hungry. Bobby connects Cas to Pamela, thinking Cas is an odd psychic, and Pamela becomes inherently important in the way that she helps Cas control his powers and provides his first real… non-platonic experience (off-screen, dw they’re friends) that later helps him discern what Dean is to him. Through Bobby, he also meets Ellen and Jo, in the Roadhouse. He goes on hunts alone, and finds a knife that helps him save a possessed girl named Taylor who is later a part of an actual episode (Hookman) and there’s recognition, she’s not just a standby person and that connects with Jess’ storyline, that connects with Sam’s storyline that connects with Dean’s storyline. By being him, Cas creates ripples everywhere he touches because he’s not supposed to be there.

The otherwise undisturbed surface is broken because Cas is there to break it and create ripples that connect with each other, all unknowingly, and the way it’s constructed is incredible.

I could add more about Dean’s bisexuality journey or realization, or how lack of trauma makes Cas a lot more narrative-free but it could all come crashing down on him if he remembers the past, or how Sam and Jess are so interesting like yes girl flesh out the revenge reason we see in three episodes, but this is getting long and I could always make new posts about this fic that I love so much.

Happy birthday, Jenn, you’re an incredible friend and writer and I’m so lucky to have found you in this mayhem of a fandom.

Go read heard from your mother (she don’t recognize you) on ao3, you magnificent people.

[knickynoo]

You wrote about it in Harborage but now I want to know all the details: what went down during the great midterm fiasco of 1985? (In both timelines). Loving your fic, btw!

LOL, I figured that little moment might stick out and prompt questions. Glad you're enjoying the fic!

Some context for others: I headcanon Marty with ADHD & that Doc is the first one to put the pieces together regarding it. In my fic, during a conversation, Doc and Marty make reference to "The Midterm Fiasco of January 1985", which isn't elaborated on but is basically implied as being the event that prompts Doc to have a conversation with Marty regarding his suspicions.

Now, some details for you, anon. (I do have a whole backstory on it because I wrote a one-shot a while back that was similar-ish in concept, but I never posted it and probably won't at this point. So...here!) LONG post ahead...

Marty's staring down the barrel of midterm week, and he prepares accordingly by telling Doc he won't be by the garage for a while because he's going to be going straight home to study.

Doc is like, "Great, let me know if you need help," and when he doesn't see of hear from Marty, he assumes it means all is going well.

Until Marty comes flying through the garage door at full speed the weekend before his exams start, in a complete panic. He's all disheveled, and he drops his half open backpack to the ground and just sort of gives Doc this wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look.

Doc figures Marty is overwhelmed or burnt out, so he assures his friend he can help and asks what subject Marty wants to focus on.

And Marty just stands there a moment and goes, "All of them." Which makes Doc go "????" because Marty's supposedly been at home studying all week, so he asks, hesitantly, if Marty has studied at all yet even though he knows the answer to that.

"Marty...what have you been doing all week??" Cue a distressed shrug from Marty and, "I DON'T KNOW."

No, really. Marty has no clue how he managed to somehow waste away the whole week, feeling stressed out of his mind but unable to open up a book. He kept telling himself he had time until oops, he's got less than two days before the tests and has done nothing.

Doc, of course, has seen this scenario before (albeit on a smaller scale with other assignments) so he calms things down first and then asks if he can take a look at Marty's exam schedule, his notes/study guides, etc.

Except...um...Marty doesn't have any of those things. He dumps out his backpack, which is pretty much just a mess of wrinkled papers, a hundred pencils, food wrappers, and probably a few things he thought he had lost a while back. Exam schedule? It's somewhere in his room. Maybe. Notes? They're sparse, and a lot of what he does have is disorganized or illegible. Study guide? HA!

After a nice, nutritious fast food meal and some time to regroup (and a trip to the McFly house so Marty can find his schedule), Doc helps him form a game plan and attempt to sort through what notes he does have, as well as zero in on the specific topics he most needs to focus on.

There's only so much Doc can do though, because Marty is attempting to cram like, 4 months worth of material into his brain at once which just...doesn't work. So, it's a very tumultuous week that Marty spends panic-studying at the garage and barely sleeping. And, as Marty is prone to do, he gets all caught up in the self-blame spiral, which does nothing to aid in his motivation.

Doc keeps helping to get him back on track, but he also kind of paces the garage, doing some work/small tasks and thinking through the whole situation. He's well aware of this familiar pattern of procrastination and last minute scrambling, as well as many of Marty's other tendencies and general quirks. The impulsiveness, the time blindness, distractibility, executive functioning issues, etc.

Doc had come across some literature on ADD a while back (which is what it was referred to as then. It was changed to ADHD in 1987) and he became fascinated with the topic, as well as the clear connection he saw to Marty. He'd kept the information to himself though, never quite sure if he should bring it up for fear of upsetting his friend and also the chance he could be wrong.

But as he stands by, listening to Marty complain and drown in stress, Doc is like, Okay, yeah, we're not doing this anymore, and sits Marty down for a chat.

He says that there could be an explanation for what's going on and slowly wades into the topic, explaining all the things he'd read and his own observations. Marty's heard of ADD, but at this point in the 80s, it's still regarded by many people as not even existing, and most cases that are acknowledged/treated are the most severe ones, primarily made up of really young kids (almost exclusively boys) who are "completely out of control" and have significant discipline problems. So, Marty sort of brushes him off at first, but as Doc continues to list facts and refer to his research, Marty can't deny that he identifies with most of the things he's hearing. Plus, he trusts that Doc wouldn't just toss something like this out there without having genuine reason to.

They talk for a really long time, and lightbulbs are just going off everywhere above Marty's head as he takes things in and is like, OH. Well...now what??

Unfortunately, because of the limited understanding of the condition by most people (and even professionals), lack of resources, and Marty's less than involved parents in the original timeline, there aren't a whole lot of viable options. So Doc turns the focus to strategies they can implement in order to help with those day to day tasks that are most difficult. But more than anything, Doc makes it clear to Marty that it doesn't make him "a slacker", that being differently wired isn't bad, and that he's incredibly bright and capable.

The conversation is a lot to take in, but it's a beneficial one. Marty is still very much Marty, and a lot of things stay the same, but feeling fully understood helps a lot. The fact that Doc is open about his own eccentricities and differences is an added bonus.

When all is said and done, Marty makes it through the whirlwind of a week with his sanity mostly intact. His grades aren't spectacular or anything, but he manages to pass every exam, and the week is soon fondly dubbed "The Midterm Fiasco of January 1985" by the both of them.

The end

Thanks for the ask!