#ugh this is more rant than argument sorry

[galacticlamps]

Something I wanted to bring up earlier in the re-watch but held onto in the hope that I’d forgotten something that would eventually make it make sense is the Doctor’s motivations or goals in Tomb - because frankly, I’m having trouble finding any.

Does he even know he’s landed on Telos? Is he here to see the tombs? I think it’s pretty clear he wants to go inside, since he’s the one who single-handedly makes that possible at every step of the way (no matter how ridiculous some of those steps are, frankly - nobody else in this archaeological expedition could notice the other doors, without his genius to guide them? seriously? these people aren’t meant to be there by accident like he is) - but he keeps warning everybody else not to go further, again for no apparent reason. Not that contradicting himself is out of character either, but now we’re looking for answers to two motivation questions - why does he want to do this, and why doesn’t he want anyone else to know? And I don’t really feel like the serial offers satisfying reasoning for either.

Even his fears & suspicions (in theory, things that might give us an indication of what he hopes to achieve himself in spite of them) are all over the place - when Haydon’s killed in the weapons testing room, the Doctor is the only one not convinced it was a real live Cyberman, and spends the whole scene defending the sensible explanation - and yet as soon as they leave the room and find out the rocket’s been sabotaged, the Doctor now insists to Captain Hopper (with virtually the same certainty we just saw him use to disprove the existence of an alien menace hunting them) that it may well have been a ‘what’ instead of a ‘who’ that’s responsible for trapping them here. And later, when Kaftan closes the hatch on them in the tombs, Viner - the nervous wreck character who we’re inclined to dismiss as overreacting - is the one to immediately & correctly accuse the people upstairs, while the Doctor’s still on his vague, misdirected ‘it could be someone else’ thing - even though seconds later, he calls everyone’s attention to how unbothered Kleig is. He never seems to receive additional information in these moments when he changes his mind about what he’s suspecting, so it feels less like the Doctor figuring things out and making deductions, and more like lines being shoved in his mouth to lend a vague air of uncertainty and mystery to what’s going on, while also carrying us to whatever needs to happen next in the ‘plot.’

To his credit (I guess?) he is suspicious of the Obviously Suspicious characters too, right from the start - but despite later telling Jamie he needed to find out what Kleig was up to (which is the closest we get to an explanation for any of his actions at any point) absolutely nothing is accomplished by the Doctor being onto them from the start - partially because he himself keeps getting misdirected vacillating between believing there are/are not any other threats present, but also because he outwardly antagonizes them while subtly helping them - flipping the correct switches behind their backs and insulting their intelligence to their faces. He’s play-acting, which is typical of him, but there’s no logic to when, why, or how he chooses to do so, because rather than skate under the radar while observing the villains quietly and forming his own conclusions, he marks himself out as an enemy of theirs before they even get serious about their plan, even though he’s actively helping them put it in action.

There’s even an almost brilliant bit (I want to like it so much! but giving it full credit just feels undeserved) when they first climb down to the tombs and Jamie says “you obviously knew what to expect” to the party re: the anoraks, but he & the others wearing them aren’t in shot - the Doctor is, faring better than any of them in the cloak he brought with him from the Tardis and had awkwardly draped over his shoulder in his first scene outside the tomb doors. You could almost make the argument he’d planned getting this far, all along (and headcanon wise, you still could, if you wanted) - but there’s no getting around the fact that the actual story contained in these episodes does absolutely nothing with that implication, if it’s meant to be there at all.

It’s like a pile of Doctorish behaviors - some posturing and trickery, a bit of dazzlingly advanced scientific knowledge, a couple of clever conclusions and a few jokes sprinkled in among ominous warnings - but it’s all scrambled together with little regard for the picture it paints taken as a whole. And maybe I seem like I’m focusing too hard on it or holding it to a standard it’s not meant for, and that might be true to some extent (although I tend to argue that most of these serials are better than people give them credit for, not worse) but the thing is, in Tomb, all of these actions have a spotlight shone on them - the Doctor’s warnings are the final ominous line in a scene, shot in closeup with a sound effect following it before we cut to a different scene - or he hits the switches that make the hatch open and everyone gives Kleig the credit, so Jamie’s given the line “but Doctor, you--” until the Doctor hushes him, to draw the audience’s attention to both the fact that the Doctor is indeed responsible for Kleig’s success and unwilling to have the rest of the group notice that. The script treats things like this as though they are noteworthy and goes out of its way to make sure we recognize that the Doctor knows more than he says and sometimes means the exact opposite of what he tells other people - only to do nothing with it. Part of me’s inclined to call this an over-use of Red Herrings, but I’m not even sure the term really fits in this case? After all, that would imply there’s a purposeful misdirection happening, someone in- or out-of- universe trying to trick either the audience or other characters into believing one thing before a reveal of the opposite. But these elements are so inconsistent, they really don’t convince us of anything in particular, they just get us from point A to point B and from point B to point C & seem to hope we don’t notice whether the trip from A to C makes sense taken all together. And I think that much can be said of a lot of the serial, honestly, but with the Doctor’s actions specifically it’s not just the narrative/framing device that’s strange, but his in-universe actions as well, making the lack of a clear motivation - some goal that he might, theoretically wish to use Red Herrings to obscure - even more frustrating. In this case it’s not just a matter of how the story’s told, it’s actually what he’s doing and saying to these people, and it’s useless.

I can’t say the Doctor’s the only character the script does this to, but I definitely think he’s the one it’s the biggest problem for. Not only is he the main character, the one the audience knows the best & is used to understanding the goals of the best, this is also a terrible point in the series at which to run into this problem with him. Say what you want about Two, but he’s not made out to be as mysterious & inherently suspicious as a lot of later Doctors are, and without retconning that element of the Doctor’s personality and backdating it completely here, there’s no explanation available to a fan watching this in the 60s as to why he’s doing what he’s doing. And coming right after Evil (of all things!) where the audience always knew what he was trying to accomplish even when the other characters in the serial couldn’t be sure about trusting him, his motivations feel especially weak in Tomb, and they just don’t hold up to the same level of scrutiny or analysis they usually do. Two’s certainly capable of causing chaos, double crossing, manipulating people into doing one thing by ostensibly attempting to get them to do another - but here it just feels like replicating those behaviors directionlessly.

Of course, once the Cybermen show up and become the main threat, this issue pretty much disappears, since it becomes clear he wishes to stop them (no matter how many foolish mistakes are made along the way) - but they don’t finish defrosting until the end of Episode 2, and in a 4-part serial, having the Doctor’s actions be so confused for half of it is a pretty big barrier to enjoying it, especially since that confusion isn’t really part of or acknowledged by the plot.

[an3mos-mp]

“Just friends”

Summary: After meeting with Scaramouche and Aether for a group project, Scaramouche decides to be more bold about his advances

Starring: Scaramouche, Aether (This is a Scara x reader, Aether is just a side character)

Genre: Romance, soft smut (does that exist? If not it does now)

Warnings: Suggestive themes, cussing, dirty thoughts

Author’s note: This is literally the second thing i consider “smut” that i have EVER written to bare with me. I couldn’t think of a better title-

Word count: 1534 words

~~~

Your relationship with Scaramouche was… complicated. You always found yourself walking on eggshells around him. You feared the possibility of him finding out about the feelings you harboured because well- have you met the guy? As one of his closest friends, you had first row tickets to watching him break every heart thrown his way and trample on the feelings of every person who dared to open their hearts to him. While it was hilarious, it was also terrifying. So terrifying that it was second nature to hide your feelings while you were with him. Whether you were sitting together in class and he’d make an effort to speak with you alone. Or whenever he would drag you off to some place (often times he had no destination in mind). Or when his eyes would linger a little longer than you’d consider socially acceptable during your group meets with Aether.

Instances like those made it very easy to fall for him. Despite his cold disposition, it was no secret that he cared about you. Some of your friends argued he cared for you a bit too much but at times you couldn’t disagree with them. Times like right now when Scaramouche was too occupied with tracing random shapes into the palm of your hand to listen to Aether explain about his side of the group project you were working on. You kept your eyes on your laptop screen to distract yourself from your racing heart.

“Maybe we should focus on white collar crime?” Aether questioned as he scanned his notes. When he got no response, he rolled his eyes at the both of you before continuing with his little rant on why you should narrow down your research topic. From beside you, Scaramouche had moved closer to you, his head now resting on your shoulder as he traced the letters of his name into your palm.

“Ugh guys, are you even listening?”

Scaramouche spoke without hesitation. “No.”

And that was the beginning of another one of their petty arguments.

You sighed before you zoned out. Scaramouche and Aether quarrelling in the background. You often zoned out and you weren’t very proud of the direction your thoughts about Scaramouche had been going. The hopeless romantic in you always added the most effort to your scenarios to make them romantic. For example, love confessions under a starlit sky. Or swapping anonymous love letters as you both entertained the possibility of a romantic endeavour together. This time around, however, it was Scaramouche interrupting one of your study sessions with a gentle caress to your cheek. His gaze was soft as he leaned in toward you, his other hand lingered near your thigh. Then he would whisper something openly perverted in your ear.

The sound of snapping fingers shattered your fantasy and brought you back to reality.

“I asked you a question.” Scaramouche said, his unwavering gaze upon you.

Your embarrassment was hard to hide because you had a fantasy like that in his presence. “Sorry, I had something on my mind.”

He raised an eyebrow. “This is the fourth time today. What’s so interesting that it’s occupied your mind so religiously?” He teased in a way that made you almost believe he knew exactly what was on your mind. You averted your eyes.

A big mistake. Scaramouch smiled. You covered your mistake by changing the direction of the conversation to Aether. “Let’s wrap this up so we can all go home.”

Scaramouche hummed in amusement. “Now you’re changing the subject. Are you trying to hide something?” He challenged as he tilted his head to the side. As an expert at hiding your feelings from your friend, you absolutely sucked right now because he was putting you on the spot.

“So you are hiding something.” His smile turned cunning. “What is it?”

Aether interrupted your conversation. “Can we deal with our project first?” He said, unamused. You both heeded his words before actually working on the project. Two hours down the line, Aether left Scaramouche’s apartment leaving you two alone.

Scaramouche was insatiable but of course you didn’t know this. If you were to keep your secrets, he would keep his too. It was hard for him to ignore you daydreaming more often as of late. Was he boring? That thought itself made him reel with jealousy. What could be more important than him that you use your time together to think about it? Was it a person? He was surprised you couldn’t feel his eyes on you every time you studied in his room together. It annoyed him how his presence didn’t seem to affect you much and while he liked the idea of you being very comfortable around him, it drove him mad that he was the only one who would ever feel the tension between the both of you.

You broke him out of his inner turmoil with a basic question about the project. How could you not know the answer to this, he wondered. But you did know the answer to it. You didn’t know how much longer you could handle being under his intimidating gaze. A moment passed before he sighed and began his explanation while showing you his notes.

“The macro theories explain everyone’s behaviour while micro theories focus on people as individuals rather than as ‘one’.” He drawled on, his voice monotone because of how mundane this was to him. You weren’t even paying attention to his words. Instead you watched his fingers as he trailed them over quotations from his notebook. You admired the sensual way his fingers traced the edge of the page as he explained. Soon you found your gaze on his lips. They glimmered under the light in his room because he would occasionally lick his bottom lip during his explanation.

Scaramouche rolled his eyes when he noticed you were no longer paying attention to him. Typical. He turned to you with irritation but it faded when he saw your gaze locked on his lips. His breath hitched.

You looked up when you realised he stopped talking and muttered ‘Oh’ when you realised how close he was to you. For a moment you both stared, daring the other to act on the tension you had created between each other. You didn’t have the guts to do that and Scaramouche knew that.

Scaramouche trailed his fingers along your hand and wrapped it around your wrist. When you didn’t pull away he closed the distance between you and placed his other hand behind your neck. His breath fanned your lips, hesitation lacing his actions. When you didn’t resist he pressed his lips against yours.

He pulled you closer to him, the contact between your lips becoming more rushed and urgent. He grasped the front of your shirt with his hand while the other fiddled with the waistband of your pants. You gasped into the kiss at his touch and brought him closer with your hands that were now wrapped around his neck. You bit his bottom lip then soothed it with your tongue and he allowed himself to melt against you.

You pushed Scaramouche onto his back and trailed kisses over his jawline then down to his neck. He gasped when your lips kissed a particular spot and this encouraged you to linger on that area a little longer. His hands were in your hair in seconds, pulling at the strands like his life depended on it. You shivered at the sensation and continued your assault on his neck. You used one of your hands to support you as you hovered above your best friend, the other hand snaking its way down his chest. You parted from Scaramouche’s neck and kissed him once more as your hand grazed one of his nipples causing him to break the kiss to whisper your name with desperation. Your stomach curled at the sound.

You toyed with his nipples while moving your knee between his thighs, Scaramouchs arching further into your touch. You savoured the little gasps and noises he made as he lost himself in the pleasure you gave him. He began to roll his hips against your thigh over time and to you, this was a sign to go further. So you did.

Your hand trailed down his chest and creeped over his abdomen before settling on the waistband of his pants. You halted and broke the kiss. Scaramouche immediately protested but he cut himself off with a shameless whine when your hand held him from over his pants.

“You have such a pretty voice.” You said before leaning in until your lips brushed against his ear. “You should sing for me like this more often.” You felt him shiver from beneath you which only spurred you forward, “Would you like another kiss?”

He nodded and breathed, “Just not on my lips this time around.” You found his shameless behaviour very endearing but before you could act on his request, your phone rang from the bedside table. It was Aether. You realised why when you noticed his keys beside your phone.

Shit.

[rinarin01]

Safe place—Chuuya Nakahara x Female Reader

"You're my favorite place to go to when ny mind searches for peace."

a/n: where reader is actually a part of chuuya and dazai's 'double black' and is the calmest and most reserved out of them. Enjoy a bit of a soft chuuya!

(P.S the three of you are 16 years old here and relationship is completely platonic!)

A normal day for me was hearing my two co-workers bickering back and forth. Hearing never ending arguments from the two of them was tiring and not to mention annoying— but I get a good laugh from it time to time. So when I hear nothing but complete silence from our shared office, I was a bit skeptical.

'It's way too quiet..—' you thought, but quickly shrugging afterwards. At least you could have a peaceful afternoon without their usual bickering. You sighed as you plopped down your office chair, stretching your limbs and hearing satisfying pops after. You stared at the cloudless sky, painted with the colors orange and soft red, through the large window residing on the office. You yawned quietly, tapping your fingers gently on the desk and enjoying the calming view.

But your short paradise was immediately bought to an end when the door slammed open and closed. You flinched as you see a very upset Chuuya. You raise your eyebrow, Chuuya was never that upset. He was always angry but he has never looked that genuinely distressed before.

"Chuuya? What happened?" You say softly, standing up and gently touching his shoulder. He seemed to shoot up, not expecting me to be here.

"[Name], god I've been searching all over for you." He exhales, you could see a bit of frustration from his eyes and it made you worry.

"Why? What happened?" You say, concern written all over your face as you squeeze his shoulder for comfort. Chuuya didn't seem to respond to your touch as he continued to fume with anger as he paces back and forth. You take a step back, waiting for an explanation.

"It's Dazai— ugh! He doesn't know when to stop with his teasings! It's f*cking irritating! It's like he wants me to be embarrassed infront of— ugh!" He replies, completely frustrated and annoyed. He was absolutely furious at Dazai.

You sigh as you walk closer to Chuuya, with him contuing to rant about how he angry he was feeling, I gently grabbed his hand and pulled him in a hug. He unsurprisingly fought back for several minutes before giving in— you were quite stronger than he thought.

You smiled as you rocked him back and forth like a toddler, "Are you trying to embarrass me too?! I'm not a child—!"

"I'm sorry for Dazai, he's just a bit.. comfortable with teasing you since you're one of the few people who can actually keep up with his personality. He cares for you and appreciates you but just doesn't want to admit it." You chuckle slightly.

"Tsk, I doubt he does." Chuuya grumbles, his chin resting on your shoulder unwillingly. As you continued to hug him, he seems to relax more and more.

"He does, he cares for you as much as I do for you. He just doesn't like to be obvious about it." You explain calmly. After several minutes, Chuuya's anger seemed to wash away because of your presence, he sighs and stiffly hugs back.

"Seriously.. I can never be angry around you. Your calmness always infects me." He grumbles, emitting a small laugh from you.

"You talk as if I'm a disease or something." You reply, patting his back softly before breaking the hug.

"I'll talk to Dazai about this okay?"

"I—

The door slams open and a certain brunette, dressed in all black entered. Speak of the devil. Dazai seemed to pause as he notices you two close to each other.

"oh? Am I interru—

"Dazai." I sigh disappointingly. The brunette seemed to stand straight at the mention of his name with that tone. Safe to say, he ended up apologizing, and the two of them hugged (actually, you pushed Dazai to Chuuya and forced him to give him a small hug or else he wouldn't get free dinners from you anymore.)

[cementcornfield]

Brandon Aiyuk just signed!! Could this be a good thing for Ja’marrs case? (I hope so Bengals twitter is making me mad)

i saw!! thank god that particular saga is over lmao. but unfortunatley i’m not sure this is really going to move the needle much for ja’marr’s case since, i think in general, aiyuk is considered at least one tier below the caliber of receiver that justin, ceedee, and ja’marr are at. (but maybe this firms up the market a bit? one tier below = 30 million per, establishing that ja’marr NEEDS to be making more than that) 

and oh my god bengals twitter has me ENRAGED (going to use this ask to rant a bit under the cut, sorry!) 

ok like. i get it. the majority of us are never going to see the kind of money ja’marr is set to make, so i can understand the frustration people might feel. Especially with the fact that he WAS practicing, he WAS set for week 1, and now that rug has been pulled out from under us. everyone is understably upset. but being upset at ja’marr??? that’s bullshit in my opinion. he has so little power and leverage here, and he’s using what he can to advocate for himself against a CORPORATION with all the power! i’ve said it on here before, but it is insane to me to be on the billionaire owner side compared to a worker who is only ever going to make a FRACTION of the profits he brings to the league. 

and ugh, i keep seeing the argument: oh he has 2 more years on his contract! he’s being selfish for not honoring that! blah blah blah. ok, first of all, joe got a new deal when he had two years left on his rookie deal. no one batted an eye on that! and then you might argue, well, QBs operate under different rules, but! at least two receivers that i know of from ja’marr’s draft class, devonta smith and jaylen waddle, got their extensions this year! and that is GOOD for the team btw, it allows them to spread out all that money over more time, and eases the cap hits!! and waiting until the next year will ALWAYS raise the price! 

i’ve been doing some research on this and here’s what i understand about rookie contracts per the collective bargaining agreement by the nflpa…the owners negotiated the current system because they were mad that rookie contracts were getting out of control. guys were coming fresh out of college, never hitting the field, and were being paid absurd amounts of money!! and then sometimes, they’d be complete busts! but they’d still have to get paid. so the owners and nflpa collectively agreed on our current rookie contract structure, which is that rookies would make very little (comparatively) during their first four years (with first rounders have an added fifth year option that would add yet another year of control by the team). it became all about reaching the second contract for rookies, which is when they would really get paid what they had proven was their worth. PART OF THIS AGREEMENT!!! IS THAT ROOKIES ARE ALLOWED TO START NEGOTIATING A NEW DEAL AFTER THEIR FIRST THREE SEASONS PLAYED IN THE NFL!!!! this is part of what the owners agreed to!! this is one of the only advantages players get in trying to control what little they can!!! so FUCK EVERYONE who pulls that “he has two years left he needs to honor his contract” bullshit. this is part of the system that was agreed upon by everyone. ja’marr has EVERY RIGHT to negotiate for a contract that better reflects what he’s currently worth. and he is one of the best receivers in the league still making rookie money. why shouldn’t he try to get more?? 

why does he want it now? i was a little confused by that myself at first, because again, price only goes up, cap only goes up, he WILL get more next year (and if he has to wait until then, then fuck the organization and i hope he robs them blind tbh) (well no i don’t. i want him to get what is fair! which will be more next year unfortunately, sorry mike!!) and okay, we can’t know for sure, i always try to emphasize that we don’t really know any of these players and what their thoughts and motivations are. but if i had to guess, he’s just watched one of his best friends (tee) get completely screwed over by the organization (with a chance of him getting screwed again by a second tag btw!!) he saw another close friend, joe mixon, take a pay cut to stay with the team last year, have a productive season, and then the team got rid of him anyway. he saw jessie bates get tossed aside. he just saw evan take a deal that was definitely below market value. sure, the bengals say that ja’marr is different, that they’ll bend over backwards to pay him. but what proof does he have of that? how does he know that if he takes the risk of playing this year, he won’t get screwed over like the majority of players by this organization. and yes okay, that’s loaded language, the bengals aren't maliciously fucking everyone over of course, they’re just doing good business. but that’s what ja’marr wants to do for himself! and there’s no reason he shouldn't be able to! 

the bengals eventually (way way too late into the process) gave joe the deal he wanted. mike brown called joe the most important player and said that ja’marr was right after that in importance. so ja’marr wants to see if he means that. he wants to see if he really is respected and valued by this organization. good for him! and while he’s been using this "hold in" negotiation tactic, by all accounts he’s still been present and involved in the meetings and at practice as a coach-like figure. he’s been upbeat, positive, and DISCRETE (unlike other receivers this contract cycle 🙄). he finally starts practicing again, per his agent as a sign of good faith. and i can only imagine that the organization threw this back in his face with some lowball offer or refusal to continue negotiating, so now he’s back to holding in. so fuck mike and duke for that! in particular! 

woof ok this was way too many words and no one will read this. but god i just hope they get this resolved. i want ja’marr to practice. i want him to play in all the games he can. i want him to beat the chiefs!!! let’s just hope the organization finally comes around and gets their shit together. and until then, bengals twitter better put some respect on ja'marr's name!!

[loserley]

A lovers' quarrel

pair: alhaitham x gn! reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol, a bit angstyy

note: first genshin fic ldjsjsjs :')

"Ugh fine!" you shouted, walking out the door. you and your boyfriend may or may not have had another fight, again.

funny thing is it's always over the most simplest things! like, washing the dishes, fixing the bed, cleaning the tables, and so on.

but this time it wasn't one of those arguments, alhaitham had been going home from work very late. half the time, you're always asleep whenever he comes home. you understand that work is important, but that's when he said, "work is more important okay? i can't provide us food, or this house if i don't work!" hearing that made your blood boil. that's literally saying "i pick work over you" and that's insane!

you also had work, but alhaitham's pay more than yours. you earn atleast 5-6k which is actually enough money to pay for rent, while alhaitham earns 90-200k which was honestly not shocking.

a few hours later you still hadn't come home, you were at tighnari and cyno's place ranting about alhaitham. they weren't really surprised, at all. you'd always come to visit them everytime you two had a quarrel, it was serious this time although. tighnari was comforting you as you try not to cry, you were overthinking things like alhaitham leaving you for work or he found someone better at his office. and cyno, he's just, there. at first he says a bunch of shitty things to alhaitham and when you started crying, he's just there for emotional support now.

an hour later a knock from tighnari and cyno's apartment was heard. you guessed it, it was kaveh. he doesn't really do anything besides bringing alcoholic drinks such as soju, beer, and some other stuff. you drink but alhaitham says you can't, you were not strong when it comes to alcoholic drinks, probably a glass of 2 or 2 shots makes you drunk already.

30 minutes later as you were out on the floor passed out, a knock was heard, again. this time it was alhaitham who had come to pick you up. cyno disagreed, cyno tried to argue with tighnari since it wasn't their relationship to fix, it was yours and alhaitham's. your boyfriend carried you to the car, putting you in the backseat so you can lay down.

when you two reached home alhaitham picked you up, carried you to your shared bedroom. "stupid alhaithammmm how dare he pick his hic work over me..." you whined, alhaitham chuckles a bit but a smile turns into a frown. "i'm sorry, love" he says patting you on the head as you fall asleep.

the next morning, you woke up hearing noises from the kitchen, a delicious aroma coming from it. alhaitham was cooking breakfast, you remained silent when you sat up. "look, i, i'm sorry for all the things i said yesterday. i didn't mean to upset you. i just want what's best for us two, okay? i'm sorry, forgive me, love." haitham says looking in your eyes placing the dishes in the table, "you don't have someone else at work.. right?..." you say looking down with your hands in your lap. "what? no. i'm not cheating on you, okay?" "okay.. i love you." you say looking back at him, alhaitham chuckles "i love you too, now go eat. by the way, drink this for your hangover."

© loserley, 2023. Do not copy, translate, post my work on other social platforms.

[blortch]

UGH! Once again, Mike "Both sides" Stoklasa not recognizing that there isn't an equivalency to right-wing conservatives who do not want representation, and progressives who do. He is either a secret conservative who doesn't want to piss off progressives, or really that stupid that he really thinks there is a equivalent both sides argument. The internet right wing conservative trolls far out weigh any troll like behavior on the left. The left mainly just say they want more diversity, and the right does not want that. There is no middle ground in discrimination. I applaud Rich for mainly keeping out of it, and/or leaning more to the left on the issue.

When I first was watching the video, I thought Mike's stance would be what he said in a previous star wars video about andor, where he listed off the different star wars shows on disney+, and he basically said there is so much star wars out there now, that each show has its own audience. His example was that there is a star wars show for babies, another for adults, like 'Andor'. I really thought he'd say something like "this show 'the acolyte' is a show for the left... who cares about the internet outrage... [and that the people complaining about diversity on the show should] just get over it and watch one of the other million star wars shows." Not give this mealy mouthed, both sidesism bullshit where by not denouncing it you're giving it oxygen.

More and more Mike shows his true colors. Like how he kept editing Rich. He literally cut off Rich's very valid, very coherent point about Ghostbusters and Robocop, I surmise because he did not want Rich to seem smarter. And idk, just the way he kept editing Rich seemed more vindictive than normal. Like yes he's done that alot, but Idk, it felt way more personal, maybe because Rich was not completely backing his both sidesism crap.

Sorry. Rant over. I had to complain to someone. Would love your always reasoned take on it.

I apologize for at first thinking this was a copypasta jaksjdfkj I haven't gotten a long ask in a good while. anyway. I feel like I Have to watch the video now even tho I wasn't intending to do so. We shall see. So for now bear in mind that I'm going off of your ask alone for my reply.

I think your assumption in how they would handle the Acolyte was a completely fair assumption to make so I'm surprised as you are from hearing Mike handle it differently this time.

You've touched upon something pretty interesting which is the editing perspective of them and I personally haven't noticed much of a discernible pattern in editing except for the occasional mike-making-fun-of-jay-in-editing or making fun of himself, so what you say of Mike editing anyone but himself kinda poorly is something I've heard claimed before that he does to Jay too. If this is true the fact that we, from our perspective, very rarely see Jay disagree as well as for Rich kinda takes an interesting turn doesn't it ? My point has often been, "well they work alongside him for a reason, they must agree with Mike on quite a lot" but this hints towards that maybe they aren't quite as uniform in perspective as one might assume from what we've seen and that it's a manufactured truth that we've been shown - but this is safe to assume either way by the sheer fact that the video has been edited and Jay and Mike themselves have said numerous times about how powerful editing is in terms of making things go numerous ways.

Pattern-wise in editing, in the past few years Jay has long been in charge of editing HITB and the Re:Views that have him in it + somebody that isn't Mike. Mike takes over "special episodes", to bring a recent example: the Death of Movie theaters video, or movies he deems important/decisive for their channel and analogous to Jay, his "own" Re:Views, while they alternate with editing BOTW more or less (cough whenever a BOTW is said to come out soon and Mike's editing cough you can count on it taking longer cough). Though as I've mentioned before, they supposedly check the other's edit before letting it air, I imagine this in videos where they both appear.

Now. This doesn't quite support the theory that Mike's this over-controlling maniac that pushes his own agenda more than Jay's or Rich's views through videos, though to perceive such a sentiment whenever he takes charge of editing could possibly imply that he, in other ways, does not allow opposing views from them. Admittedly, I can't quite paint this sinisterly because he Will take charge as the sole owner of the company (somehow for years I used to believe Jay co-owns RLM but wherever you look, Mike is listed as the ONLY owner) and of course he'd want his videos to reflect what he thinks and I mean, I can't think of many people off the top of my head that would cede on their views on important matters or would allow opposition without rebuttal, so to expect this from Mike wouldn't be fair. Though to us, who don't share his views and the topic of the Acolyte seems quite trivial compared to other matters, it seems like an overbearing, uninformed asshole move haha. I imagine in his eyes he justifies it as him being the director and him enforcing his vision.

As for the Acolyte to call it leftist media is hmmmm it feels a bit dirty and slimy to say that about a Disney product lols. I heard Andor brought up some super interesting points to analyze from that lens, which I find super baffling, that "pandering to the leftists" has become a Thing at all. When I read that the controversy was from casting Abigail Thorne (among other stuff) I realized how overt the Move was to do this. I guess with somewhat of a tendency to virtue signal through fandom nowadays it became profitable by accident? I wonder how long it shall last if so. But maybe that's putting on my cynical thinking cap too much instead of surmising as you said, leftists or people branded anti-right-wing/conservative for existing simply want media that shares their views or represents them to discuss and have fun with.

And finally. Super flattered that you'd think of my takes as "always reasoned", I try to take my time and think about what I'm putting out there so to see my efforts being acknowledged warms my heart.

[munamania]

great glad i could be part of the problem for once. let’s wrap it up gang. in all reality i refuse to do a full rant and waste my time on such a stupid fucking issue but like i am tired. is anyone else tired. i and the people you’re pretty directly talking to (online lesbians, unless i’m really misunderstanding the target audience here, but regardless now i am just gonna rant abt the current online culture lmfao) never said u should be ashamed. i’m sure there are assholes u run into that try to gatekeep pride (maybe? lmfao but seems less and less likely given the majority of the community is bi) but can we talk abt how online bisexuals have created this idea that gay people (and again it’s usually lesbians that bear the brunt of these accusations) are like oppressing them when they engage with their hetero attraction (don’t start with me. i am not saying what some people are dying to say i am and it’s a stupid pedantic argument) when that simply isn’t the case. yeah your dyke friends might be honest with you if your boyfriend is acting like an asshole but that doesn’t mean we think your attraction to men is like aw no invalid yucky gross. and if a young lesbian is saying that stuff like i’m sorry but it’s probably on account of she’s like 15 and trying to work past years of comphet and that’s not about you. and more often than not. as in roughly 100% of the time. it’s bi girls that have gone Ohhhh ew ugh sorry i wish i was just attracted to women women r so hot omg i want them to step on me etc. and i’m just like. Girl ok… now keep swiping on ur entirely guy filled tinder like whatever… and i swear it’s just the presence of a lesbian that brings that on like i can swear i try to be a good sport when y’all r going on about dating men im not incapable of like doing that. now on here yeah im a hater bitch bc it’s my little safe space and i don’t feel like talking about men most of the time. but genuinely. GENUINELY. i am shaking you by the fucking shoulders rn. do you think this is the most important issue re gender that we’re facing rn? i don’t think we’ll ever move forward with progressing trans rights and just like feminism 101 womens rights if you people insist we constantly talk about your feelings about your attraction. go to therapy and get a fucking grip

[placeinthisworld]

heyy, I don’t know if you’ve felt this way but the swiftlyneutral has become so filled with people that want to coddle Taylor so much. Awhile back I was having this back and forth exchange with somebody where they had said that regarding Palestine what can Taylor swift even do and that she shouldn’t have to do anything. I mentioned that hey her billions of dollars can certainly help alot of Palestinians begging for donations.

then the goal post moved to that sure she can make a difference but it won’t really change anything on a grand scale and we don’t control her actions and why am I even using internet connection rather than donating that money and it’s like my god dude my money going towards internet connection is not the same as Taylor swift’s billions like what and we might not control her actions but let’s not pretend that public pressure does nothing. Also I find it weird how everybody keeps saying that these celebrities speaking out does nothing and it’s like are you not seeing the families whose gofundme goals are being fulfilled in a matter of hours compared to the months before like I get that because this is a massive crisis on every level that sometimes it feels hopeless but on an individual level the families who are closer to safety through these donations are obviously going to prefer this than us doing nothing because it makes a world of a difference to them.

then it has devolved into insults about how they knew more than me cuz they were older apparently ( when they don’t even know my age but okay ) and it’s like I genuinely don’t know why people think it makes them smarter to think nothing will actually change so let’s not do anything and literally I have not seen a single person who is advocating for the focus to be solely on celebrities but it is certainly a part of it. I don’t know how there are still people especially on that sub that actually believe that Taylor swift’s billion dollars or that her voice won’t make a difference like how are we still stuck at that part of the convo.

I won’t lie it especially pissed me off when they kept insinuating I don’t actually understand or care about what’s happening to the Palestinians when my own people and country has gone through a genocide and I’m not claiming my advocacy is perfect but I do understand it and I have actually known about Palestine since I was very young.

I’m sorry this was so long I just needed to rant. I kind of hate that that sub has gained so much attention since the album release cuz now it’s becoming filled with people who are deflecting even the most basic Taylor criticism but hide it behind this guise of aloofness. Sorry for any mistakes cuz English isn’t my first language.

GROSSS wtf i’m sorry you had that interaction that is so shitty i’m sorry bestie :(

ugh yeah the funniest think about the argument of “taylor doesn’t owe us anything” (in terms of speaking out against racism, palestine, etc) is that she has SHOWN us that she cares!! there was a long ass period where she was sending her fans money to help pay for shit like school and rent!! she knows she can make an impact! SHE KNOWS SHE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. but she’s still sooooo quiet?? it’s unacceptable tbh, especially with her billionaire status it’s just so icky to me that she hasn’t ONCE acknowledged that genocide in Palestine. like not a simple like about a post about it, not a retweet, not a donation not a donation link. NOTHING even though she knows she’s the most influential person in the world rn.

i’ve honestly never seen anything like that on the subreddit myself. but i also only really go on there and glance through the forums and i don’t really engage much on the platform so maybe that’s why i haven’t seen it much :(

[bohemian-nights]

So true! GRRM even mentioned recently that he would love to write a book about N so no way are they cutting her or replacing her with Rhaena.

I feel like because this show is focused on the Targ family it attracted the worst type of fans who think Targs are really gods and believe in the blood purity BS so I’m not surprised they’re into Daemyra who’re the poster child for that(no offends to those who just ship them and don’t buy into that crap but the amount of people I’ve seen on twitter making those arguments is ugh)but like exploring the relationship between D who’s a literal Targ supremacist and N a low born bastard girl and how things like class and race(I know ASOIAF doesn’t have the same construct of race as we do but N’s treatment as well as the Dornish shows pretty clearly there’s racism in their society even if the author didn’t intend did that to be the case)affect them,etc. I mean we see hints(maybe foreshadowing even?)of that conflict on the show when everyone’s scandalised over D saying he will marry Mysaria and that she’s pregnant. It also pushes her to break things off with D because she knows the consequences it would have on her while pointing out D’s privilege. Btw,I feel sorry for Matt Smith you can tell he wants D to be more dimensional and maybe the writers wanted that as well but they had no idea how to write a character like him(possibly because he doesn’t really start his character arc before he meets Nettles?)so they ended up cutting a bunch of scenes of him being more affectionate/emotional which led to Targ stans believing they have vendetta against him imo. But he was def one of the characters that suffered the most due to these time jumps the last time we see him before the first big one is him killing his wife and intending to reclaim her land but then later on he self exiles himself like why? If they wanted him to have a complicated relationship with his daughters fine we don’t really know what kind of a father he was in F&B but then make the effort of having him interact with them instead of tearing them like extras who just smile and stand around. And don’t get me started with how they treated Laena seriously WTH was that ?! You make her a black woman on the show and then proceed to have her be a second choice for her husband (with one of their daughters being ignored by him)and dying the most awful way possible away from her family while trying to make it look “empowering”.Sorry for the rant but the way the POC have been treated so far makes me very nervous about Nettles like FFS don’t treat her like a plot device and while we’re at it have her be friends with Baela and Rhaena this show needs more well developed female characters and friendships as well!

I would so love to read a book on Nettles. She(and Daemon) is/they are my favorite characters in the ASOIF universe. Her story does not end/begin with the Dance so I’d like to see more about her. Replacing her with Rhaena will not cut it.

Some Targ/Daemyra stans are willing to miss out on a fully fleshed out story in favor of Targ supremacy. There are parallels between our world racism and racism in ASOIF universe as well as classism. Writers can’t really escape their biases. I hope season 2 fleshes things out a bit because the story can be much more than it actually is.

I’m actually a Daemon stan so I think the HOTD writers do have a vendetta against Daemon. Daemon is described as less jerky to those he loves. In the show it seems like Daemon is really only there for Daemon. The only one he actually seems/seemed to love was King Dumb Dumb(Viserys), but now he’s dead so he’s got nothing.

Daemon leaves Rhaenyra alone to fend for herself multiple times. He even abandons her in a sex dungeon in the sketchy part of town. And yet she is supposed to be the love of his life? 🫠 Well I guess so since he literally murders his first wife and bangs his niece at his second wife’s funeral. At least Rhaenyra only got choked out by her man!

If I was Matt I’d be shaking my head cause the writing is just 🫠 Daemon has recieved essentially 0 character development since episode 3. Thank God Matt is charismatic because otherwise Daemon would be the least likable character on the show.

Rhaena and Baela do seem like extras/window dressing. It irked my soul when Rhaena kept calling Rhaenyra “my queen.” I understand she’s the queen, but she’s also her cousin/stepmom. It makes it look like Rhaena is the help. Some of Baela’s lines were cut which is also irritating considering the lack of screen time for both her and her sister.

The Laena situation is just 🙃 I could do a whole essay on that. The fact that you have delusional racist stans arguing that it’s somehow empowering to watch a Blackish woman light herself on fire is just🙃 I have no words. Like please go read a book on misogynoir then come back to me on it(it probably wouldn’t help, but can’t hurt to try).

That was one of the most traumatizing things I have ever watched. I am not joking when I say this. That hurt. Her book death was a 1000x more “empowering” than that crap.

What’s “empowering” for Black women is not the same for other women especially white women. Black women are rarely seen as soft, being taken care of, and loved in media.

Laena is supposed to be mixed(and the actress’s that played her were mixed as well), but the casting seemed deliberate. They picked a brown skinned mixed woman to light on fire(literally) and be someone’s unloved second choice(again not book canon, but people will gloss over this and try to claim that is somehow is). While the white woman is somehow the first choice and Daemon’s one and only love.

Having Daemon literally ignoring his Blackish kids(who by the way should look white/whiter than they do since they are at least 75% white, but the HOTD writers don’t know how genetics work🫠) is also a choice. Someone said that you could start watching HOTD at episode 7 and you wouldn’t know that Rhaena and Baela are Daemon’s daughter’s. Which isn’t far off from the truth.

You can’t make this ish up and yet people will deny it all the damn day long 🫠 They don’t have a problem with it cause if anything, it helps to solidify their wack ship. I’m going to leave it there cause I will literally start ranting all day long.

Bottom line is I hope season 2 is better and the HOTD writers see fans complaints and try to develop a more fleshed out story. I am kinda dreading what they might try with Nettles, but I’m cautiously optimistic(I love to disappoint myself). Limiting her characterization will limit Daemon’s as well since she’s his final arc, but as I stated, the writers seem like they hate him so 🤷🏽‍♀️

A friendship between Rhaena, Baela, and Nettles would be nice, but they are all supposed to be in different places during the war. Who knows what they will do.

[blasfumi]

ignoring the argument that he grew up to be a reluctant war criminal, it’s honestly fascinating for me, a chinese woman, to see so many excuses on why wwx’s childhood is toooootally not a prime example of domestic abuse, 

ranging from the honestly kind of racist “it’s ancient chinese culture and therefore forgivable because cultural nuance” 

to the problematic “madam yu is a girlboss, who cares if she verbally and physically whips teenagers her marriage is sad” 

to the just plain weird “if your dad praises your sibling more than you it is PERFECTLY fine to completely disregard that sibling’s emotional well-being”

[egg-on-the-run]

I got my first proper request and I literally accidentally deleted it. Am I stupid? Yes. Did I immediately panic? Yes. Do I remember what was on it?........ mostly.

Haha anon I hope you see this I'm so sorry but ily.

The turtles s/o who's usually very calm but just bursts into anger.

Notes: swearing :) I think it's funny

Leonardo:

He's used to a very calm s/o, you like to meditate together, he's always been good with helping you with breathing exercises.

You both like to keep arguments to a minimum, and even when fights do take place there isn't a lot of yelling

But when your mother came to visit :) that was just :) a lot of pressure :)

And she stayed in your apartment :) for a week :) everything was fine :)

Leonardo hadn't seen you for an entire week, not an overly long time, but certainly not pleasant. And he knew that you got stressed when you couldn't see him often. So as soon as you texted saying you had dropped your mother off at the airport, he immediately came round.

You were already screaming the moment you walked in the door.

"Oh she has some nerve! Some nerve! Speaking to me like that!"

"I'm guessing you're car ride went smoothly."

"She's been bugging me all week! When are you getting married? When are you have kids? I want some grand babies before I die! Ugh! She's obsessed with maintaining this perfect image all because her friend's kids are married and making babies like rabbits!"

He stayed quiet, not exactly sure how to comfort you. It wasn't like he could provide you with these things, and by the sounds of it, your mother would never approve of your huge turtle boyfriend.

"She just can't get that I'm happy! I have my own life and it's perfect the way I want it to be! I have a perfect boyfriend! You're a fucking delight! She–she's just so obsessed with her image that she'd never get that!"

"You... You think so?"

"I know so! She's too stubborn and she'll never get how fucking great you are and it just— UGH! It fries my brain."

"Even though I... I can't give you all those things... I can't legally marry you, we can't have kids."

"Even if you could give me a mansion and a diamond ring, or if all you could give me was a-a fucking walnut! I love you Leonardo, not that prim and proper white satin wedding she's made a thousand Pinterest boards for. I love you, I just wish she would get it."

Leonardo leaned down and kissed your cheek

"I love you too."

He believed in dealing with anger appropriately, but seeing you defend him with such passion made him feel so much more secure.

Raphael:

He's seen you angry before, he encouraged it. He's all about helping you with your confidence, teaching you to not be afraid to take up space and stand up for yourself.

But holy cow. You were mad that night.

He'd warned you not to take the trash out at night, wait to the morning — or better yet, he'll take it out for you when he came to visit after patrol.

But you are Raphael's girl. You are stubborn.

So you take the trash out, and some absolute creep decides that "flirting" in a dark alleyway in the key to a girl's heart.

Raphael swooped in, told the man to scram. But bold and drunk, the man spits back with a "Oh yeah? And would she want anything to do with a freak like you? What are you gonna do? Hit me? Aw, big angry turtle, you're gonna scare your girlfriend away."

It was two of his biggest insecurities. His appearance and his rage, especially in regards to scaring you away. It was a low blow, Raphael should have known to just walk away.

But he clammed up, he'd never admit when his anxiety got the best of him and you don't blame him.

"Oh go fuck yourself. If a vile man like you doesn't scare me, why the hell do you think a good man like him would?"

"A good man? He's not a fucking man! He's some freaky turtle thing, a pretty little thing like you deserves a real man."

"And are you a real man?"

"More real than your little pet."

The next thing you knew, the man was on the ground. You assumed Raphael knocked him out, but Raph's standing behind you and you're the one with your hand in a fist.

"Oh my god. Oh–Oh Raphie I knocked him out! O-Oh my god!"

"Holy shit Y/N! You probably broke his nose!" Raphael is grinning, shaking your shoulders.

"I didn't mean to hurt him."

"He deserves a broken nose at the least for messing with you! He was an asshole and he needed someone like you to set him straight!"

"I, um, well, I suppose he did! Saying such horrible things about you, I-I guess he did need someone to put him in his place."

Raphael ruffled your hair, "Thank you, my knight in shining armour."

"That make you my Prince?"

"Your Prince who was right about not taking the trash out at night."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

He appreciated you standing up for him more than you could imagine. And he found it mighty hot how hard you hit that guy. Seriously! He must be a good self defence teacher.

Donatello:

Donatello loves you so much, loves holding you and hugging you whenever he can. He adores it when you sit on his lap while he works.

But do you like to cuddle when you sleep? Tough luck. Getting him to bed is like trying to lick your own elbow: near impossible.

Regardless, you try. Because every once in a while Donatello is too tired to fight and he will go to bed.

Tonight is not one of those nights.

"Baby, please, just come to bed. Everyone's already asleep."

"I'll be there in a minute, just go on without me."

You sigh, not really seeing the point in fighting. Instead you return to his bed, trying to keep yourself awake playing games on your phone. When half an hour passes, you go back and try again.

"Donnie come on, aren't you tired? I just want to cuddle."

"I just need to put some stuff on a hard drive, April's writing a new article, she needs it for tomorrow."

You sigh once more, "Promise you'll come to bed right after?"

"I promise."

Donatello's bed is comfortable, but it's more comfortable with him in. You force yourself to stay awake; despite your exhaustion you're determined to cuddle tonight. It's all you want.

But it did not take an hour to put some documents onto a hard drive. And he's being awfully loud for just typing away on a computer.

"Are you fucking joking right now?!"

He jumps, almost dropping the box of beakers in his arms, "Hey love... Can't sleep?"

"You're rearranging your lab?! Why are you—since when do you rearrange things, huh? What the hell?!"

"I just y'know, thought things needed a change..?"

"Oh, and now is the time to change things, really? Of all the times to move your fucking beakers you decide to do it in the middle of the night after I specifically asked you to come to bed? Seriously?"

He gives a nervous grin, the kind that usually made you smile in return. But it was late — rather it was early at this point — and you were cranky.

"You can sleep without me, you're a big girl." He teased.

"I want to sleep with my boyfriend! I want to cuddle! Is that so much to ask for?!"

Donatello blinked, "You're right, I'm sorry, but I swear, I promise, I'll be ten minutes, honest."

"You can finish this tomorrow. If you're not in bed in the next ten seconds, I am going to scream and wake everyone else up."

"Don't be ridiculous—"

"Ten."

Donatello jumped, quickly moving to shove supplies in cupboards a little recklessly. You continued to count down from ten, storming off back to his bed for hopefully the finally time this night.

By the time you got to the very firm "Three... Two... One..." Donatello was racing to bed, dived in beside you, crashing and knocking your heads together.

He'd never tell you, for fear you'd let it get to your head, but he kind of liked it when you got bossy.

Michelangelo:

Anger and Michelangelo just don't mix. They just don't. He's the king of communication, he's tries his hardest to avoid fights at any and all costs. You've always appreciated his determination to talk things out with you.

But with his brothers? He shuts down, he goes quiet and just accepts whatever blame they put on him: he knows they don't mean it, they only say mean things when they're angry.

But it hurts, hearing his big brothers tell him he's stupid, that he's childish, that he's lackadaisical.

"What kind of word even is that?! I swear Donnie must read a thesaurus as a bedtime story.."

So he's allowed to complain, and you let him ramble when he comes to visit. He sits on your bed and the words just tumble out of his mouth, lets you move around the room tidying up while he rants.

"I just—Raph keeps calling me stupid. And I just—I-I just—You know, sometimes I believe it."

You freeze, sweater only half folded and turn to him, "But you're not stupid. Just because you're not some brainiac like Donatello doesn't make you stupid. If that was the case, then I'm stupid, Raph's stupid, April, Leo, Splinter is stupid. Do you think we're all stupid?"

"Well—no, but—"

"But what?"

"But I... I am a little stupid."

"No you're not! Mikey, how many times has you out of the box thinking saved the day? Y-You were the one who suggested playing friggen buck-buck to take down Shredder! Y-Your skateboarding—hoverboarding skills saved the world. You think your brothers could do that?"

Mikey scrunched his nose up, "That's not smart though. They're right. My-my focus is all over the place, I-I could never come up with a plan like Leo, I could never have half the brains Donnie has, and Raph just—he gets things that I don't and I-I am stupid!"

"I need to have a word with your brothers—"

"And that's another thing! Everyone still treats me like I'm some kid! I don't need you to have a word with them! You're not my mom."

"Then you have a word with them! But sitting here and complaining about things that just aren't true isn't going to change anything!"

He's taken aback. Much like himself, you hardly ever yell, never ever raise your voice at him.

"I am not going to stand here and let them insult you day in and day out! Either you do something about it, or I will!"

He blinks at you, you're aggressively folding the sweater in your arms and grumbling about how you could definitely take Raphael in a fist fight if need be. You mumble something about how nobody gets to speak to your boyfriend like that, and it finally clicks with Mikey.

"Alright. I'm going to talk to them," He's mostly talking to himself, "I'm going to show them that I'm not some stupid, ditzy, lackadaisical kid anymore. I'm your boyfriend, and nobody gets to speak with me that way!"

You beam at him, anger disappearing within the second with his newfound confidence, "Hell yeah! Nobody insults my boyfriend!"

"Your boyfriend!"

"My boyfriend!"

"Your boyfriend!"

His brothers' version of a wake up call is to point out his weaknesses, tell him what needs to be corrected. But you much prefer to build him up, point out his strengths.

But jeez, he does not like your angry face.

[beomglocks]

what soobin is like as a boyfriend

warnings & other: none i just love him but let’s be honest who doesn’t, this gets cheesy in some parts bc he just gives off stereotypical kdrama bf vibes but guys he’s the one

w/c: round to 1k

ok first off 

sorry if i rant soobin is my baby so ofc i think he’s the perfect boyfriend

he’s so

ugh

ok when you meet him he’s a shy boy

like really won’t wanna look you in the eye

ok like super fucking awkward

like painfully and you’re like “hahah ok that’s cute”

that only applies if you look intimidating tho

if you’re one of those people who’s blessed with not having resting bitch face he’ll be flirty

well you know..

he has his own methods of being flirty

he’s charming in his own way

probably does what yeonjun does but more subtle

stares

will stare at you

and when you make eye contact he smiles and rubs his lip with his finger DJSJSKDK PLZ

alternatively: looks away, purses his lips with a smile, ears get red, looks back up to you already looking at him then he waves

youre left like

“omg he’s so fucking cute”

ok but actually like he will reel you in without you even knowing

next thing you know you’re laughing at his lame ass jokes

god forbid you think he’s funny

“you think I’m funny? well we should date” :)

wait im pretty sure he said he doesnt go after someone unless he knows they like him back

tbh he’d probably wait until you make the first move

or wait until you show interest or else he’ll just hide his feelings

you have to bring him out of his shell

once you do...oh boy

100% never leaving you alone

always telling you how much he loves you

he’s the sweetest

teeth rotting sweet

i feel like he would slowly open up to you during the relationship

he’s not like automatically into it if that makes sense

shy to initiate things at first

such as kissing and touching

asks you if it’s ok first

we love consent

free samples kind of guy

dont take him to an ice cream shop or shops in general

he will devour the free samples

next thing you know you’re leaving with goat cheese and the newest ice cream flavour

he gives hopeless romantic vibes

would want to bake with you in the kitchen

and i know this sounds cliche but

flour fight

he’s cute with it at first

just rubs some flour on your nose then next thing you know

“we turned our dog white”

he’s a simple man

however

he probably spoils you

but not like expensive item type of spoiling he isn’t extravagant

god forbid the price range of any of the items he buys you exceeds his actual paycheck

cute gifts that you’ll actually use and cherish

i dont see many fights happening with him tbh

maybe if you question his leadership choices then i can see a fight happening

for example if you think he couldve handled a situation better in a certain way and you point that out to him he’ll get all defensive

“im the leader of my group dont tell me what you think is best for my group”

then you’re just like “well shit fuck you too i was just tryna help”

i can see him distancing himself after a fight if you’re also feeling a bit aggitated

doesn’t talk to you until it’s literally 2am and neither of you are sleeping bc yall always cuddle and you’re not cuddling him

:(

he’s always the first one to say sorry

my god he makes fun of you so much

not on a beomgyu level though

more of a “if you say something silly i will make you feel so dumb for the rest of the day” kind of clowning

wow jealousy

i feel like he’s not super jealous unless he feels threatened

everything was fine until the fire nation attacked

once he sees you getting a little too buddy buddy with someone else he’s like nah i gotta shut this shit down

he’s humble but once he’s jealous he’s all braggy to make himself seem above who ever was trying to get at you

“yeah i think we ALL-”

boy do you have to comfort this big baby

he’s sensitive :(

hold him and rub his head on his off days

tell him he’s the best boy and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks screw them

he laughs like 

“shouldnt i be comforting you?” 

soooooooooo sappy

cliche asf boyfriend

buys you flowers

if he could he would be doing the whole radio outside your window thing (side note: yeonjun would too be he’s whipped asf)

college bf (we saw it coming)

see also: college bf who helps you in what he can and tells you to screw math bc you don’t need it anyways

shows up at your school or job after his practice

everyone loves him

everyone

you gotta be on guard 24/7

i wouldnt say you’d be insecure per se but soobin definietly lacks awareness when it comes to being flirted with

he recognizes others advances but laughs awkwardly, forgetting to tell the person he already has a partner

~cue mild argument~

at the end of it all he’s like “dont worry i only like you jeez”

if he’s working on a song he asks for your input

or rather how would you interpret a certain emotion that he isn’t able to convey

just to joke around, if he has to write a song about heartbreak but neither of you have been through that he’ll be like

“well there’s a first for everything :)”

soobin 100% takes the time to learn about your culture

he’s invested what can i say

introducing you to the other members isn’t THAT bad

but they definitely clown soobin

txt: “how come your partner is cooler than our own leader”

“maybe they should lead us instead” (joke)

soobin’s like fuck yall i can be cool :(

always send you cute selfies

with messages along the lines of

“i miss you :((((”

“bring ice cream on your way back!”

“be safe tho xxx”

he gives embarassing dad vibes

you can’t introduce him to your friends !

since he has you around he isn’t too shy and once he engages in conversation you better pack your bags

he’s trying to be funny (keyword: trying) but really it’s just your friends laughing to not make the hot idol bf not feel bad

you help him with his script for music bank

speaking of music bank

yes, yes, you are clowning him like the rest of txt and he comes home like

“not you too :(((((((”

hueningkai

my goodness hueningkai

yall tussle over soobin’s attention

sometimes it feels like youre sharing soobin with kai

you love them both but youre like “kai sweetie it’s cold and i wanna be the one to cuddle my bf so please”

speaking of cuddles 

best cuddles

ones where he’s wearing a really comfortable sweater that’s actually nice material and your face gets buried in his chest 

his limbs will be tangled in yours no doubt

but wow he’s so warm you almost never wanna let go

they don’t call him “home” for nothing

tall boy

makes fun of you if you’re shorter than him

yes he does tease you by placing items on higher-than-you-can-reach shelves

kick his shins he’ll give in

you: ”hows the weather up there”

him: “nice actually but you wouldnt know now would you :)”

tell him your problems, tell him anything

he will listen

and i mean let-you-ramble-for-hours kind of listen

but at the end of it his input is always valuable and he isn’t judgemental

he’s a good listener and gives good advice!!!

he’s not the leader for no reason put some damn trust in him!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I might be back on my bullshit thinking about Louis [as if I ever stopped] and episode 2 again. Like... there are a lot of things that could’ve been handled better when it comes to ep2, but can we just appreciate his apology to Clementine during the archery scene? 

[note: this turned into a bit of a rant, and for that, I apologize]

It still baffles me that he gets dismissed as a shitbird by portions of the fandom to this day for being upset with Clem and AJ when he just found out his best friend gave away the twins, murdered Brody and tried to pin it on Clementine to cover his tracks... only to then be murdered by AJ after he already gave up, shot him in the back of the head right in front of everyone and left Louis heartbroken and traumatized. 

Like I understand that some of y’all think Clementine and AJ should never be held accountable for anything they do and they’re always right, even when they’re in the wrong because you’re the player projecting yourself onto them and everyone who is mean to you is a stupid head unless they’re mean in the right way.

Or you’re one of those violentine stans who feels like the only way to validate your ship is to create this narrative that Louis is a traitor and Clementine would never love him after he voted for them to leave as if the only way you know how to make Violet look good is to make Louis bad by comparison instead of like... y’know, being one of the decent stans who explain and gush about the positives of the ship itself and why they love it rather obsessing over the other ship. 

Either way, you’re really gonna look at that situation of Louis reacting to his best friend’s death after what just went down and be like “calm down, Louis, you’re being a jerk :/” like.... I’m sorry? 

Aren’t you the same people who complained about Luke not giving a shit about Nick’s death back in s2? how he didn’t have a reaction? In fact, aren’t you also the same people who vigorously defended Kenny for his reaction to Sarita’s death after he lashed out at Clementine? Remember? When he yelled at her and called her a stupid fucking kid who thinks she can just get anyone killed and it’s okay because she said sorry? but it’s fine because Kenny’s reacting in a realistic way that makes sense for his character and he later apologizes for it? 

but now here you are, getting a realistic reaction out of Louis that makes sense with his character and all of a sudden, you don’t like it? You want him to just be like “Oh no, Marlon.... anyway.” Really?

Louis is hurt, he’s pissed and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s so shaken by what the hell just happened, Marlon’s dead body is bleeding out on the ground, Ruby’s talking about getting fucking medicine as if that’s gonna do anything, Violet waving her cleaver around at them even though literally none of them were looking at AJ they were all looking at Clementine, Violet you are not helping anyone in this situation, you’re only making it worse and adding to the aggression... but no, Louis shouldn’t be a fucking mess right now. He should just shrug his shoulders and be like “Welp, this is fine.” 

Then there’s the damn funeral. Look, Clementine and AJ shouldn’t have been there. I know they had to be for story purposes, but it’s such a bad idea that it makes Violet, the one who wanted them there, look like an ass who has no regard for anyone other than herself, Clementine and AJ, and those who agree with her... which is only Tenn and I guess everyone else sucks and their feelings are invalid because no one else wanted them there since it’s not a good idea to have Marlon’s murderer attend his funeral and if you believe that isn’t going to piss people off or make them uncomfortable, then either you don’t care or you don’t know how to read a room. 

And by the way, Louis wasn’t the one who suggested voting them out. He wasn’t even there when MITCH said they should take a vote and everyone agreed to it. So why is it that Louis gets all this blame for how the vote turned out? Oh, Louis is such a traitor because he’s the reason they got kicked out.... except no? 

First of all, if you’re so mad at Louis then how come you’re not mad at Ruby? She voted them out, too. So did Omar. They contributed to kicking them out. How come no one else talks about how much they hate them after they said having the vote was a fair idea and then voted them out? Oh, and Willy, too. Willy voted them out. The only other person who gets heat for the vote is Mitch, and he was the one who came up with the idea in the first place... but no one else, huh? 

Also, how come only Violet gets praise for wanting Clementine and AJ to stay? Never see anyone talk about how amazing Aasim is after he was the third vote for them. He has legit reasons for wanting them around, too, but he didn’t want them at the funeral either so what, does that cancel out his vote for you? Where is the Aasim love? 

Then we got the dorms where Louis and Violet come to escort them away, and once again, I have to mention that both of them are wrong in this situation. They’re on the extreme opposites where Violet thinks they should stay because they didn’t do anything wrong, and Louis thinks they should leave because AJ’s dangerous. Both of these view points make sense with their characters.

However, I guess some conveniently ignore how conflicted Louis is about the whole thing and how he’s feeling about it because it doesn’t fit with the narrative they’re trying to push about his character. 

Again, he’s dealing with a lot of shit right now only to be constantly invalidated by Violet, who keeps telling him what a shithead he is for hurting about this, how he’s just burying his head in the sand again and all this other shit, and he eventually snaps at her and says AJ’s dangerous, which hurts AJ and it’s all over Louis’ face that he realizes he snapped and he feels bad about it. 

But Louis never got aggressive with them, he never laid a hand on them, and he was there to escort them out in the woods. And that argument of “he sent them out there to die therefore Clementine and AJ should hate him, Clem shouldn’t want any friendly/romantic relationship with him because he put AJ at risk and got him shot” is.... I dunno, ugh? It’s ugh. You act like Louis did this to intentionally get them hurt when that’s not true. 

Clementine and AJ have survived on their own for years, so it makes sense that Louis would try to justify this to himself like “they’ll make it out there, they’ll survive because they’ve done this before... this is for the best for everyone” and no, him telling them that this is probably like going home for them isn’t okay, but it makes sense for his character because he doesn’t actually know how bad it is out there. 

None of them know, they’ve all lived in walls their whole lives. It’s naïve of him, yes, but it makes sense and he didn’t do this with shitty intentions of wanting them to get hurt. He didn’t know that Lilly and Abel would be out there, he didn’t know AJ would get shot, he didn’t know any of it. He didn’t think that if they voted them out, this would happen. He was struggling with his feelings about them and saying goodbye to someone he was starting to feel a connection with. 

And he let them back in. Hell, he carried AJ into the school himself when they showed up wounded and you still wanna call him an asshole and a traitor? He could’ve said nope, get the hell out. We kicked you out, you’re not welcome here. 

He didn’t do that, he ran to them to see if they’re okay, he brought AJ to Ruby and stayed with him the entire time Clem was in the office with Violet.... AND he apologized to AJ, quietly begging for him to be okay... and when he’s faced with Clementine after what happened, he doesn’t know what to say to her. He can’t even look at her because he feels so ashamed of himself and feels all the blame for this. 

This is a moment that ties back to backstory. Louis’ emotions overpowered him, he made a decision and now AJ is shot and bleeding on the couch.... when he came to the school, they [the staff, I assume] said these kids were bad people, they told Louis that he was bad after what he did to his parents and he internalized that, and this whole this just reaffirms that idea “I am bad, I hurt people, this is my fault.” He blames himself for everything even though there’s no way he could’ve known. You can feel Louis’ genuine concern for AJ and how he’s doing, but at the same time, he’s trying to distance himself from Clementine… and well, sorta failing since he brings her clothes and they have the conversation in the dorms. 

Then the archery scene.... y’know, the scene I was gonna make a simple little post about that somehow turned into this. 

Once again we have Louis and Violet arguing because that’s what they do now, and Violet continues to tell him to get over himself without listening to anything he says, and he goes to practice archery so that y’know... when the raiders come he can use a weapon to help defend them since he’s not very good with it and needs practice.

Clem goes to check on him, and Louis apologizes for voting them out, explains that when AJ shot Marlon, he blamed Clementine when that wasn’t the right thing to do. He had a lot going on emotionally on top of what was happening around him, but after having two weeks to work through things alone, even though he’ll never be happy Marlon died, he can understand why AJ thought it was the right thing to do... and if he could take everything back, he would. He knew that the moment they came back, and he still does. 

I just.... how often does Clementine ever get an actual apology from anyone who has hurt her? A real apology from someone who means it and then doesn’t just turn around and repeat the same hurtful actions? Like... it baffles me that people will look at this genuine apology and tell him to fuck off, but will accept and continue to adore someone like Kenny who will apologize for hurting Clem, only to never try to be better and ends up hurting her even more next time. 

Or they’ll accept and justify Violet’s last minute apology for punching Clementine in the face on the boat and putting everyone [including AJ, rememeber?] at risk of either dying or being made into brainwashed soldiers by the delta. 

They both have reasons for their behaviors and you’ll work your ass off to justify them, and I’m not saying your points are wrong or invalid, but you seriously won’t even try to extend that same thing to Louis? Why? 

Well, jokes on you because I too will work my ass of to talk about Louis and what he’s going through and that’s how posts like this get made. I know not everyone is going to feel that connection to him that I have, and you’re allowed to not like him as a character, but realize that I’m also allowed to give my perspective on his character and why I disagree with points posed by those who don’t like him. 

The archery scene is one of my favorites. It’s Louis and Clementine proving that they’re able to open up to one another and say they’re sorry, to forgive the other without being petty or holding it over the other to throw back at them the next time they argue. It proves that Louis wants to put in the effort to repair their relationship and atone for the mistakes he made, to step up and not be “bad” anymore. 

I mean, Louis says it best himself. Everyone heard the jokes and the piano, after that, they stop listening... a lot of people just boil him down to a funny man who never takes anything seriously and the only thing he could ever bring to Clementine’s life is a good laugh, but those who stuck with him and put an effort into building his and Clementine’s relationship know better than that. They know how much this apology in ep2 means even with the downer that the timeline of events rushes everything a bit. 

The fact that Louis doesn’t have this big ego that prevents him from apologizes, that he can forgive AJ for what he did and still build a strong relationship with both him and Clementine, that if you earn his trust he will follow you to hell and back, that he isn’t afraid to call Clementine out on her bullshit and doesn’t have a come apart when she does the same to him, that with her and AJ by his side he finally doesn’t feel alone anymore.... it’s all just so fucking good. 

I dunno, maybe you can understand why I get so ugh whenever I still see these same arguments about him being made with this double standard that doesn’t apply to other characters.

[tainted-wine]

I hope you don’t mind this being exclusive for the Pro-Heroes!

(NSFW)

Papers? Check. Writing utensils? Check. Lube? Check.

You were primed and ready to begin this cocktastic journey. Completing this project will be a great benefit to Thirstology. You can’t believe that they put their trust in you to collect such valuable information from several willing participants. There’s no way you’re going to let the people at National Thirst Studies down.

With your lower body completely bare, you and your ambitious pussy set out to begin the cockwarming interviews.

Yagi Toshinori/All Might

Pre-Notes: The Symbol of Peace. It’s still surreal to see him in such a fragile state. Strangely enough, I never once asked myself: Does All Might fuck? “Obviously he was too pure for fucking,” is what I would have said before I devoted my life to Thirst Studies. But I have learned over the years that there is no such thing as purity.

------

After he got over the initial shock of you wearing no pants or underwear, you were finally able to begin your study and ask him the main question.

You barely dodged the spray of blood spewing out of his mouth. “Am I into what?” He sputtered.

“Cockwarming, sir. The act of settling a penis in a nice cozy orifice. There’s no movement, only penetration. Surely you already at least knew the definition when you agreed to this?” You offered him a paper towel, which he accepted with a choked “thank you.”

“Midnight told me this would be about intimate relationships,” he anxiously explained while wiping the red off of his lips. “But I wasn’t expecting to hear something that graphic.”

Ah, so he was talked into this. “Well, with your permission, I can give you a personal demonstration.”

His answer was inaudible the first time; you had to ask him to speak up in order to hear his adorably high “yes.” He was a lot shyer than you imagined. Poor guy was shaking like he was on a verge of a heart attack when you took his cock out and boy, did he put the ‘long’ in ‘schlong.’ But your mission wasn’t to admire the dick’s appearance, it was to learn how their owners used them inside a hot snatch. You climbed onto him and lowered yourself and ooooh shit, both of you were moaning as his inches sank into you. You couldn’t take it all, but it was more than enough to get the job done.

“Mmnngh, yes, very long. Pushing almost painfully,” You said through clenched teeth, scribbling in your notepad as you sat semi-comfortably in his lap. “Can you give me your input, Toshinori? How is this feeling for you?”

“Blrraaaffggg.”

“Toshi?”

“…”

He laid limp in the interview chair as crimson liquid continued to flow from his mouth. Well, this is troublesome. You’ll have to wait for him to regain consciousness to hear his feedback.

------

Conclusion: This was his first time experiencing cockwarming. He described it as ‘intense, but not unpleasant’. Unfortunately, whenever I ask for more details, he would get too embarrassed to share anything. Frankly, this isn’t the most fruitful start to my series of interviews, but it was a great privilege to meet the amazing All Might.

Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead

Pre-Notes: I honestly don’t even know who the hell this is. An underground hero, apparently. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you that he brought a cat with him. I told him that it needs to stay outside during the interview, but the difficult bastard was ready to turn around and leave unless I allowed the furball in. What a hassle. Do I even want to sit on this man?

------

You’re thankful that you did, in fact, sit on this man. His sleek ebony cat was relaxing in your lap while your pink kitty was stuffed with his cock. Despite his indifference to the situation, it was strangely intimate. Taking notes over a cute feline while his length twitched inside you was rather challenging.

“You seem like a rather exhausted fellow. Is it maybe the laid-back nature of the act that you find so alluring?” You asked.

“Mmhmm.” His arms circled around you to stroke his adorable pet.

“Being able to just wind down by giving your hard snake a wet hot crib to rest in?”

“Mmmmm.”

“I would appreciate a more elaborate answer.”

“Mmmmm...”

You shifted just enough to turn your head and see Aizawa’s head lolled back, his breaths getting heavier after each exhale. You can feel him quickly going soft inside you.

Ugh...

------

Conclusion: Given that he fell asleep in the middle of the demonstration, it’s safe to say that he finds the act very relaxing. I can only make guesses because the moment he woke up, he hurried me off his lap, picked up his cat and headed out. I did my best to chase him and ask if I could at least hear his final thoughts, but that bastard leaps on cars and buildings as skillfully as Edgeshot.

Hizashi Yamada/Present Mic

Pre-Notes: I’m not sure what to expect from the Voice Hero. His radio show has hosted some surprisingly insightful interviews. Unlike the last two, he will hopefully have some truly constructive answers to give.

------

“Not gonna lie, I always wanted to try this!”

Both of you were red in the face as you sat on his throbbing cock. Despite the blush and slight shake in his voice, he was as cheerful as ever. “Sometimes I just wonder, it would be pretty cool to just have a hottie warmin’ me up during my show, ya dig? No sex, though. I know I’m not quiet enough to get away with that on the air!” He laughed loudly right into your ear.

Well that kinda hurt, but it’s nice to finally have a fully cooperative interviewee. You were actually able to ask all of your planned questions for once, and Hizashi gave a satisfying answer to each one.

Unfortunately, it just couldn’t go perfectly, and his phone ended up ringing near the end of the interview.

“Hold on, listener. I gotta take this.”

Did he really? You wished he would wait until you were done.

You felt him lean back as you remained on his lap. “Shouta, buddy! What’s goin’ on?”

Shouta? Does he mean...?

“Sorry about that! I’m not home yet, I’m doin’ a...special interview, with a hard-working thirstologist.” You heard the voice on the other end respond, and Hizashi made a noise of confusion. “Eh? What do you mean ‘you too?’”

Oh dear, he does. They actually know each other.

The conversation quickly transformed into an argument, a loud one. The two heroes apparently have some...tension between them.

“Oh, so I throw hints at you for years and you act as innocent as your cats, but you’ll sit down and let a girl hop on your dick during an interview?!”

You had to lift yourself off of his softening member and take shelter from his booming voice. He was tucking himself back into his pants with one hand as he marched out of the room, but his hurt and anger was still loud and clear. “Don’t give me that bull. I bet if I hit you with twenty one questions about cockwarming, you’d just pretend you’re asleep! Oh, you actually did fall asleep? Huh.”

You awkwardly collected your notes as the two gentlemen were seemingly making up.

“Damn right I’ve always felt this way. Oh man, you better get ready tonight because I’ve got over ten years of pent up feelings, and you’re gonna take it all.”

------

Conclusion: It feels good to have a full interview. In summary, Hizashi is intrigued by the combination of closeness and casualness of it all. His interest in cockwarming during his jobs also indicate a possible thrill out of doing it in public. In addition, I’d like to announce with some pride that I may have assisted in taking two friends to the next level of their relationship.

Hawks

Pre-Notes: I’m eager to hear what the handsome winged hero has to say. I wouldn’t mind if we just stare at each other throughout the entire interview. My lust for him is unbearably strong and I’m not sure why. It’s probably just the horny writer’s obvious bias towards this bird. She could use another hobby.

------

Hawks laughed once you gave him the question that officially begins the interview. “Gotta admit, I’ve actually never tried it.”

That’s a surprise that you quickly jot down in your notes. “I see. Is it something you’re interested in trying? I can give you a demonstration right here.”

“Oh? I’d love one.”

You try not to look too excited as you leave your seat and move to undo his pants, but Hawks raises a hand.

“But I want you to do it on your knees.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “My knees? How do I-”

“With your mouth.”

Oh my.

You granted his request and kneeled down to take his half-hard cock into your mouth.

“Ahhh, that’s nice.” He sighed loudly, spreading his legs more as he stared down at you.

You detached your mouth from him to speak. “Can you tell me what it is that you-mmffrrf.”

A hand pushed you back down onto his man meat. “No no no, just...stay right there. I’ll do the talking in a minute.”

You sat there with his cock growing in the heat of your mouth. Hawks’s eyes were closed, a small content smile on his face. Every time you lifted your head just an inch, the hand on your head pressed you back down. Just when this interview was starting to feel more like a hookup, he finally began to talk.

“Oh yeah, I’ve fantasized stuff like this. You got a shitty boss? I do, don’t tell them I said that, though. They’re always finding something to get on my ass about. Working me like a dog everyday, expecting me to pull off these insane missions flawlessly.”

All you could do was look up and listen to his rant. He must have loved the sight of you, going by the strong twitch of his length in your mouth.

“They just keep asking more and more from me. ‘Do this faster next time, Hawks!’ or ‘I know you’ve never done something like this before, but don’t fail us, Hawks!’ Sometimes I just wanna shove something in their mouths...like my dick. Can you relate?”

You shook your head as well as you could in your current position.

He shrugged. “Oh well. As far as I know, I’ll always be the one getting fucked by them. But something like this...” He pat your head. “Ah yeah, it would be so nice to see them like this...”

------

Conclusion: Hawks was sadly short on time and had to leave before I could even get into the questions. Going by the very personal feelings and frustrations he shared, Hawks enjoys the dominance displayed from cockwarming, and prefers it be done orally. I will respect his wishes and not reveal any of the opinions that he shared about the establishment he works for and its executives.

Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fat Gum

Pre-Notes: It’s best that I continue to be honest: I’m anxious. Fat Gum is one of the biggest heroes around, and I just know that there is a deadly pillar of pussy destruction in those pants. I know that I should be more concerned with the questions, but it just won’t leave my mind.

------

“So, what experience do you have with this, Toyomitsu?”

The large man chuckled. He was currently in his skinny form, which you’re pretty thankful for since his fat form would have been beyond awkward to straddle. That would be like trying to hump one of those giant inflatable characters at parades. “A pretty lady I knew was really into it! I tried it for her sake, but I’ll say this with no ego, my sausage ain’t something to be taken lightly! Still, she was determined, and I was really digging just how strong her will was to take me.”

‘She sounds like a very brave soul,‘ you thought as your pen glided across your paper.

“I couldn’t believe it when she managed to get all of me inside. She couldn’t either, because she passed out! At first I just wanted to laugh it off,” he cackled as if to give an example, but his face quickly drooped into a somber expression. “But then I realized she wasn’t breathing...” His eyes shut in pain and sorrow. “And I couldn’t find a pulse...”

You nearly dropped your pen in horror. “My goodness, Toyomitsu. I’m so sor-”

“I’m just messin’ with ya! She’s fine!” His face immediately brightened up again, leaving you shocked and somewhat upset over the scare. “But seriously, if you want a seat on this big boy, I hope you’ve got plenty of lube on hand.”

“Don’t worry, I do. More than enough for the biggest flesh towers.”

But your doubts instantly returned when the bulging monster was freed from his pants. It’s huge. Toshinori may have been long, but this monster was unbelievable in both length and girth.

Your fear must have been evident on your face, because Toyomitsu asked, “You sure you wanna do this? Don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

You whipped out your bottle of lube and drenched your hands. “Thirstology is my passion. My life’s work. I am more than willing to put my life on the line for science.”

The hero raised an eyebrow. “It’s...not that serious, but I really like your guts, missy.” He gave himself a few strokes. “So let me tear them up.”

Even with the coatings of lube inside your pussy and on his massive cock, this was still the most arduous task you have ever performed in your life. You didn’t know it was possible to be stretched this far. The light blonde was mesmerized by your trembles and scrunched expressions and as you tried to take more of him, his mouth slightly open when he noticed the swell in your lower abdomen.

“Oh, that is hot.”

------

Conclusion: I did it. I took the Fat Gun. Fat Gum himself takes a lot of pleasure in watching the strain of someone trying to take him in, and due to his partner often being much smaller than him, the tightness is very pleasurable to him. He was the only interviewee that actually came during the demonstration, so I suppose it’s safe to say that he is the biggest fan of cockwarming out of the five. He was very panicked when he came inside me, but I reassured him that I am on the pill. This is still a hell of a mess to clean up, however.

(I hope the information I have obtained will be useful for the institute. Thank you for giving me this opportunity)

[yungbud]

Silent Treatment+X

Req? Yes! @madonnasinn said: Can you write a smut about Dom ignoring y/n over a petty fight they had a few days ago, and y/n parades in a very tiny skirt around him when they go out to have dinner with his friends (to get his attention). He then gets really mad because all the guys keep eyeing her, which she knows he hates so she tempts him and fuck in the restaurant bathroom 🤭 just a lil idea i had LOL

Word Count: 2.4K

Tw:Light choking, semi-public sex acts, a little bit of thigh spanking/smacking, idk smut obviously.

A/N: Feast

—

You sat in the kitchen with Dom. Well, Dom sat, you stood, washing the dishes as he talked to you about how the album was going.

“I’ve just been so stressed for the past three fookin weeks trying to get this done. I just want it to be perfect, you know? And I keep wanting to go back and tweak it but Gav tells me not to.” Dom ranted, absentmindedly picking at his nailpolish while he did. 

You reached for the knob of the faucet, turning the water on to rinse off the dish in your hand, accidentally turning it too high and ending up being splashed with water, soaking the bottom half of your shirt.

That reminded you, tomorrow you had to do the laundry, then clean Dom and your shared room, then you’d have to shower– No, that wouldn’t work. You’d have to shower then do laundry before you leave, or else you’d end up being late for your appointment.

God, these last few weeks had just been so stressful. You felt like you barely had a chance to breathe, you’d finish one thing and up would pop the next. Oh, and you couldn’t forget lunch right after your appointment. You hoped there wouldn’t be traffic, you can’t be late because (Y/B/F) would only be visiting you on their lunch break, they’d have to go back to work straight after. 

Who were you kidding, it’s LA, of course there’d be traffic.

Should you reschedule? You were both so busy as is and this was the one time your schedules had allowed you to meet up in what must’ve been months. 

Shit, you thought, how long had it been? You began replaying the last few months in your head as you absentmindedly scrubbed at the plate in hand.

“And you’re not even listening.” Dom pouted.

“No, no I am. That’s great sweetie.”

“What’d I just say.” He tests, looking at you, his raised brow doing very little to hide the fact that he’s annoyed.

“You were talking about the uh- The uhm,” You paused, mustering all your brain cells to remember what he had just been talking about. The towel squished between your hand and the counter as you leaned against the sink, your fingers coming up to stroke the bridge of your nose as you thought “The drums, you just finished the last of it, right?” 

The oven dinged, signalling the food needed tending too. Your mind flipped as you searched the kitchen for the oven mit.

Where could you have possibly put it if not right next to the oven where you could’ve sworn you left it. You spun, searching the other counters, even going as far as to look in the sink before realizing it had slid to the floor right below where you put it. Sighing, you leaned down to grab it, pulling open the oven to tend to tonight’s dinner.

“Uh, what else happened today?” You ask, trying to keep your mind on track. You were careful not to burn yourself as fussed with the food

“Shit, babe can you hand me the tongs?” You ask, reaching a hand out behind you. That’s when you realized he hadn’t responded.

“Babe?” You try again, turning around only to realize he’d already left. You scoffed, grabbing it for yourself before leaning back. Standing straight, you take a moment to bask in the warmth of the oven before closing it. 

*~Three days later~*

Dom raised his head to look at you, your spoon clinking against the side of your bowl signalling your entrance of the living room. He looked back to the TV just as soon as he had looked over, obviously too invested in whatever he was watching to acknowledge your existence. A sigh of relief left your lips when your butt hit the cushions, leaning back into the inviting, cushiony supports.

“Ugh, this week has been so stressful. I feel like I haven’t had the chance to sit in like… forever.” You say, your eyes focusing on what was playing in front of you. It was an old episode of the great british bake off. 

You laughed a bit, but it came off more as a hum.

“You know, I heard when contestants would cry, Mel and Sue would stand by them and use un-airable language so the footage wouldn’t make it to the final cut. Isn’t that so thoughtful?” You say, trying to perk some conversation out of the boy sitting next to you. 

He wasn’t responding. Your eyebrows furrowed as you searched through anything you might’ve said to upset him recently. You couldn’t think of a single thing, come to think of it, what was the last thing you had said to him? Hell, when was it?

You realized quickly your last exchange was in the kitchen, and even that had been cut short by him leaving. 

Yes, that’s right. When you had crawled in bed with him that night, he had been asleep and you were in such a rush the next morning you couldn’t remember if he was awake next to you when you woke up. He wasn’t exactly avoiding you as much as he was not talking to you.

Had he seriously been giving you the silent treatment for that long? 

“Is everything okay?” You tried, sure you were only getting in your own head. Your eyes had completely left the TV at this point, focusing solely on the quiet boy next to you. There was no response, not even so much as a nod.

“You haven’t talked to me in almost a week.” You continued

“Doesn’t matter. Even if i did, you wouldn’t be listening.” Dom retorted

“I’m sorry i made you feel that way. It honestly was not my intention, i’ve just been so caught up this week.” You were sorry, but it seemed awfully ridiculous to have gone this long giving you the silent treatment just because you had been distracted.

The conversation ended entirely there.

Dom hadn’t said more than two words to you since your argument, doing everything in his power to avoid you. It wasn’t hard, after all he was a very busy man. Especially with the release of his new album coming up, there were interviews and meetings to be had, but at a certain point they became less of a responsibility and more of an excuse.

You were on twitter, you had seen his fans practically begging him to take a break, but taking a break would mean seeing you, and that just wasn’t something he had been in the mood to do recently. It was bad enough already that he had to go to dinner with you.

That was okay, you would help him get in the mood. Or, rather, out of his mood. If Dom wanted to be petty, fine, you could be petty.

You slipped the soft material up your legs, admiring your reflection in the mirror. If Dom was going to ignore you, you were going to give him something to ignore. 

You knew this skirt would do the trick, every time you saw another girl or, fuck it, boy, prouncing around and one of these skirts even you nearly fucked them. Everybody looked good in these, it was a fact of life, you’d decided. You knew you definitely looked good, you almost had to stop for a moment and touch yourself to the sight, but glancing at the clock you realized you didn’t have nearly enough time for a bit of self pleasure.

You were practically already running late, spending all your time getting yourself ready to grab Dom’s attention. You added some finishing touches before heading out to the living room where Dom sat, waiting for you patiently. 

Any other time Dom would’ve been right next to you in the bathroom, admiring your work on your makeup, outfit and hair, but today he stayed in the living room

You tried not to smirk as you made your way into his line of vision. The look on his face was completely worth the hours of tireless work, though. He’d turned his head to look at you, a distinct glare replaced by shock, his eyes widening a bit as they landed on your outfit. It was tight and loose in all the right places and only added to your stunning features. 

“What?” You teased,

He tried to recover quickly, returning to his pouty state, not even bothering with a response as you followed him out the door.

You were sitting at the table, surrounded by you and Dom’s friends when someone finally made a comment on your appearance.

“You look really good, (Y/N).” Tom commented, everyone nodding in agreement as the conversation momentarily shifted to you.

“Thank you! I thought so.” You praise yourself, smiling down at your outfit.

The conversation drifted off again, a newfound confidence bubbling up in your chest. You reached over to Dom, grabbing his hand and placing it on your thigh. It stayed there for a moment before he moved it, and it continued on like that. You did everything in your power to remind him of how good you looked and how short your skirt was until he motioned for you to stand. A couple eyes turned to you as you walked off, but no one asked any questions.

Dom was practically dragging you, your feet fumbling as you struggled to keep up with his long strides. When you realized where you were headed you glanced at him, eyes wide, but he wasn’t looking back. His eyes were focused on the bathroom doors ahead, his jaw clenched, gorgeous green eyes shadowed by his black eyeliner.

“Dom, what are you doing?” You began to plead, uncomfortably aware of the fact that you were about to walk into a bathroom with your boyfriend in front of the whole restaurant. You glanced around, checking for any cameras or onlooking eyes. There were none in sight, but you knew that didn’t mean much.

Your head clobbered light as he pinned you to the stall, his eyes burning into your own. Your gaze faltered, looking everywhere but him. Normally sex with Dom never made you nervous, he had always managed to make you feel safe and comfortable, but going from complete silence to being pinned against a stall in The Olive Garden so abruptly made you timid. His hand pressed down on your shoulder, your legs bending until your knees hit the tiled floor, staring up at him through your lashes. Dom hastily unbuttoned his pants, maintaining his gaze, er, glare on you. Your eyes flickered from his own to his hard dick springing from its constraints, watching as he stroked himself achingly slow before his tip slid past your lips, sliding himself across your tongue a few times, his head leaning back as he felt the warmth of your mouth surround him. 

You hollowed out your cheeks, eyes remaining on his expression. When you reached up to replace his hand with your own you felt a harsh tug on your hair. It took you a moment to realize what he wanted from you, but when you realized you let your jaw go slack. Dom’s hand remained wrapped around the base of his cock, shoving it down your throat unexpectedly, causing you to gag.

Your mouth hung open, weary not to let your teeth scrape against him as he thrust into your mouth. You pulled back a bit as you gagged, your head lightly hitting against the wall behind you. Dom continued to push forward, his hard cock pushing farther and farther back in your throat. You were pinned between his thrusting hips and the bathroom stall, you had no choice but to let him fuck your throat.

Not that you were complaining.

Well, you couldn’t.

You gagged around him, hands coming up to grip at his hips as he continued to use your mouth to get himself off, angelic moans falling from his plush lips.

Dom finally took mercy on you, pulling away and grabbing your chin with his thumb and forefinger, staring down at you.

“You look so pretty gagging on my dick.” He says, wiping the tear coming from your eye. His hand makes its way down to your neck, wrapping around it and pulling you to your feet.

 “Or maybe it’s just that fucking skirt.” He adds, slapping your thigh before lifting the skirt up to reveal your lace underwear. A groan slips past his lips, bringing his fingers against your core. You let out a sigh of relief as his fingers rubbed against your clit, glad to finally get some relief after all this time. It was short lived, though, as he pulled you to your feet using the grip he had on your throat, tilting your head up to look at him.

The air around you seemed to freeze, your eyes roamed eachothers faces, desperate for one another. His lips came against yours slowly and then all at once, his hand remaining around your throat as his tongue slipped its way into your mouth. The hand that wasn’t wrapped around your throat remained between your legs, working steadily at making your legs shake for him.

It was almost embarrassing how ready you were for him, so needy that the slightest touch beckoned a whine. Things became heated again quickly, his hands moving from your neck to your thighs, a quick hop before you wrapped them around his waist. 

Dom reached between your legs, trying his best to move the material without dropping you, eventually giving in and letting you do it instead. Reaching between your legs, you wrapped your hand around him, lining his hard dick up with your aching core. He paused there for a moment, enjoying the feeling before pushing himself in. His lips reconnected with your own, thrusting into you a few times before sighing and setting you back to the floor. Your eyebrows furrowed up at him, unsure what to do before he was spinning your around, pinning your face against the wall. You felt him slide between your lips once more before pushing in. It took him a moment to find his rhythm, but soon you were being pounded against the bathroom stall, pathetic moans falling from both your lips, Your senses clouded by pleasure leaving you completely lost to your surroundings.

You would have to be petty more often.

[nejibaby]

Gorgeous

Pairings: Neji x Y/N

Song reference/inspiration: Gorgeous by Taylor Swift

Summary: You hate Neji… or do you?

A/N: I didn’t know what came over me please don’t sue 🤣 Please let me know your thoughts, although I couldn’t really reply since this isn’t my main blog... (I just really like reading your comments & reblogs 🥺)

You always thought the gods above adore you because of how lucky you are. For years of being a shinobi, you’re able to go on missions without that certain someone.

Everyone knows that you dislike Neji. Some might even go far and say you hate him. But no one really knew why you hated him with so much passion.

So when you’ve been assigned on a mission with him for the first time, your friends — with the exception of Hinata —immediately know you’d invite them for drinks to get piss drunk and rant about the Hyuga boy.

When you arrive at the bar, you wasted no time ordering drinks and downing them one by one.

“Woah, slow down Y/N!” Sakura says.

“Let her be, Sakura. You know how she gets when Neji is involved,” Ino tells Sakura, “No words are going to stop her, might as well just look over her.”

Sakura gives her a frown then slips in glasses of water in between the drinks you had lined up.

“Ugh, I hate this! Why do I even have to be assigned with him?” You complain.

Ino sighs, “It was bound to happen anyway, with the shortage of shinobis from the back-to-back attacks here in Konoha, and all that. You’ve been lucky you hadn’t been assigned on missions with him for this long.”

You huff. “The gods hate me so much.”

Ino just rolls her eyes at you.

“Why do you hate Neji so much anyway?” Sakura asks.

You take a shot before answering. “Have you heard how he talks? He’s always talking about destinies and fates and how we can’t change them!”

Sakura and Ino look at each other. Then Sakura says, “I don’t know what year you live in, but Neji has changed ever since he met Naruto.”

“—And besides that,” you continue your rant, “He’s such a know-it-all. And he just always has to explain everything to us like we don’t understand anything.”

“I mean he’s really good at analyzing things and breaking them down for us so we can follow the reasoning behind things,” Sakura says in defense of the poor man.

“Shikamaru is just the same but I don’t see you hating on him,” Ino adds.

You pay no mind to their statements, knowing they’re probably right but you weren’t just going to admit that. “—And he always sounds so bossy! Everyone looks up to him and heeds his words. It’s like he has this magnetic field that attracts people and shit. It’s so fucking annoying!”

Ino and Sakura were both about to say something about your statements but no words came out despite them opening their mouths. You squint at them, a contrast to the way their eyes had widened.

“What?” You ask.

“I think we should talk, you’re being a little too loud,” someone behind you says.

You bite the inside of your cheeks, knowing who that voice belongs to. You feel your face getting hot — from the embarrassment or from the alcohol, you weren’t sure. You clear your throat, look behind you and greet, “Neji.” You try to make your voice sound friendly, but you were so used to saying his name laced with venom that it’s just impossible for you to sound amicable.

He’s taken aback by the hostility in your voice. He’s aware of your hatred towards him so he tries not to bother you with his presence but you’re talking too loudly about him that it was becoming uncomfortable to him. Besides, you two are going to go on a mission together, it’s better to resolve things between the two of you right now, or at least before the mission starts.

Neji knows he hasn’t done anything to wrong you and as far as he’s concerned, both of you never talked to each other yet so he wasn’t really sure why you despised him so much, until now, that is.

He holds his hand out for you to help you stand. How gentlemanly, you wanted to sneer but you stopped yourself. Instead, you clench your fists and glare at him.

When you don’t make a move to stand up, he gently grabs a hold of your hand and tugs you towards the exit of the bar. You’re too shocked by the action that you didn’t get to protest. You know damn well Neji avoids physical contact with everyone, except during training, of course.

By the time you’re both out of the bar, you aim a punch at him. But with your drunkenness, you miss. That, and he easily dodged it.

“What are you doing?!” Neji asks, surprised by your action.

“You should think about the consequence of touching my hand.”

His brows furrow, trying to understand you. He doesn’t want to make things worse so he chooses to apologize instead.

You don’t respond, opting to lean back against the wall and cross your arms instead, considering your abrupt movement made your head feel dizzy. You tried not to wince at the pounding of your head. God forbid you’d let him see any weakness in you.

Then you take a look at Neji who seems to have shifted to a more relaxed stance after your unexpected attack. Seeing this, you try to collect yourself as well. Or at least as much as your drunk mind can.

Neji takes your silence as a signal to talk. “We’ve known each other for so long now because we have the same circle of friends, but we never really got to talk to each other until now,” he starts. “I have seen you interact with everyone except me. At first it did not really bother me, but then I found out you hated me. In order to avoid unnecessary arguments or whatsoever, I let you be and kept my distance. I did not understand why, until I heard you talking a while ago—”

There was something unnerving about his lavender eyes staring at you so intently that must’ve made your mind short circuit, so you cut him off and blurt out, “You should take that as a compliment.”

To say that Neji is confused is an understatement. The creases on his forehead deepen at your declaration. “What do you mean?”

You close your eyes and just shrug. Your mind wasn’t cooperating with you so you’d rather just not talk. You keep silent for a whole minute meanwhile Neji waits until you speak again. When the minute passes and he still hasn’t said a word, you ask, “Why don’t you just go back to Tenten or something?”

That sounded wrong.

Frankly, that wasn’t what you plan on saying, but your inebriated mind couldn’t comprehend what you just said and its possible implication.

If other people were to listen to your conversation right now, they would probably assume that you were jealous, or maybe even insecure with Tenten, but Neji was different from other people. Luckily for you, you both share a similar way of thinking. He knows you’re trying to deflect.

“Tenten’s your girlfriend, right?” You couldn’t stop your mouth from blabbering anymore.

“No. She’s a friend.”

This was news to you. You always assumed they were together since they spend a huge amount of time with each other.

“So you’re single?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh, that’s honestly worse,” you thought. Or at least you intended it to be just a thought but you ended up saying it out loud.

Neji doesn’t know if he should be offended by your statement or not. Was it worse because no one’s going to keep him in line? Shouldn’t you be glad no one’s going to suffer the fate of being his girlfriend? Those were definitely something you’d say. But he’s uncertain, so he pushed those thoughts aside, knowing full well you weren’t going to answer him properly if he asked the meaning behind your words.

Since you’re so keen on changing the subject regarding your hatred for him when he’s obviously trying hard to make amends with you, he decides to just drop it and talk to you when you’re completely sober. “Is Kiba going to come get you?”

“Why should he?” It was your turn to furrow your brows.

“You’re drunk and he’s your boyfriend.”

You snort. If he said you were seeing Kiba then you definitely wouldn’t deny it and you’d shut your mouth. You aren’t in a relationship with him, or maybe you are, if friends-with-benefits is considered a relationship. So Kiba is in no way your boyfriend — that label entails commitment and of course, love. However, your setup with Kiba was more of an agreement rather than a commitment and instead of romantic love, there was only love for a friend.

To correct him you say, “He’s not really my boyfriend.”

Neji was never one to assume unless there’s a basis. He knows this about himself. So when you deny your relationship with Kiba, he was skeptical, and a smaller part of him was ashamed that he reached such a conclusion without asking first.

It only goes to show that you both have wrong preconceptions about each other, and that you both have a lot to learn about one another.

“Ah, sorry. I thought—”

“It’s fine,” you wave him off.

Neji’s eye twitches. You cut him off twice now and he doesn’t appreciate it at all. He’s a very patient man and it takes a lot to get a rise out of him or maybe even get a reaction. But you had him shift from being apologetic to confused to ashamed and then to being annoyed in a matter of minutes.

Surely this wasn’t normal, right? What kind of power do you hold that you could make him easily shift moods? For a moment, he considers the possibility of you casting a genjutsu on him but quickly dismisses the thought when he senses that your chakra flow is normal.

You quickly notice his annoyance and you immediately feel bad for your actions. “‘M sorry,” you mumble with a pout, looking down on your feet.

The apology softens the Hyuga boy immediately. He’s never really heard you address him so sincerely and without malice all throughout this conversation, or ever. But he’s seen you do this with your other friends; he’s seen you readily set aside your pride for them. Your friends admittedly claimed that this was one of your traits that makes you so special whenever they tried coaxing him to talk to you and befriend you.

Unexpectedly, Neji smiles. It was truly a rare sight, and it was directed to you. You feel your heart flutter.

“I-I should, uhm, head home,” you internally cringe at the way you stuttered the words.

“What about Ino and Sakura?”

“Ah, I’m pretty sure they’ve gone ahead when I left.”

“And Kiba won’t pick you up?”

“Nope. He’s somewhere doing god knows what.”

Neji gives a contemplative stare.

“Anyway, I think you already know that we won’t be able to talk properly since I’m drunk, so I’ll go now. Let’s talk some other time, I guess. Bye!” You say a little too fast.

“Wait! Let me walk you home.”

You huff. “Do whatever you want.”

Silence follows after that. You’re particularly happy that the walk to your home is quick since you aren’t sure how to act around Neji.

He walks you until the door and you quickly mumble a thanks and shut the door.

As soon as the door is shut, you immediately slump to the floor, dropping your facade along the way.

The fact of the matter is that you don’t hate Neji. It’s quite the opposite actually. You just don’t know how to express your feelings properly.

For a moment you wish you could be like Hinata who’s content at watching Naruto from the sidelines. You, however, instead of feeling content, you’re furious. Because there’s nothing you hate more than what you can’t have. And this is what your face chooses to express whenever Neji is around, which is why you couldn’t blame your friends or other people for that matter when they assumed you hated him. You just went along with them, to save face.

The white lie was furthered by their observation that you don’t talk to him. To your defense, it’s not that you don’t want to talk to him, it’s just that you can’t. Your mind literally goes haywire.

Just like in your conversation earlier. When you first cut him off, and blurted out the first thing on your mind.

You should take that as a compliment.

What your mind wanted to say is: You should take that as a compliment because even when I’m drunk, it’s you I keep on thinking about.

Not to mention how embarrassing it was when you asked if he’s single and thought that that was so much worse than being in a relationship. Because how can he be allowed to be single when he’s just so gorgeous it actually hurts?

You bang your head against the door a couple of times in frustration.

Unbeknownst to you, Neji is still standing on the other side of the door, dumbfounded by how fast you shut it in front of his face. Just as he’s about to walk away, he hears a whack on the door. His mind immediately assumes you got hurt. As he raises his hand to knock on your door, he stills at the sound of your voice.

“Stupid Neji and his stupidly gorgeous face, ruining my life by not being mine.”