#and changed a bunch of other passwords

[deadcaptainentertainment]

Tonight, I noticed an email from Facebook with a legitimate code to change my password that came in around 2pm while I was at work and not using Facebook. I also noticed SOMEONE HAD OPENED IT. Which was also not me, because I was at work, not using my personal email. So I looked at the activity log on both of my email accounts and you guys would not BEEELIEVE what I found. See pictures for the shocking results. This is just one page from each that I could screenshot, this crap has been going on for days upon days and someone actually managed to sign into one of my accounts more than once. I have since changed my password to something harder and forced sign out on all accounts, so hopefully that kicks out whoever was in my effing email, but holy crap.

[velaenam]

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

                                                                         ◦ ♡

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 – non!mc. you are a successful aerospace engineer, a girlboss, with terrible luck in romance. let's hope this strangers website brings you out of that rut! 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 / 𝐭𝐰 – NSFW topics! swearing/foul language, strangers, slow burn, talks of depression/mental health, guilt tripping, manipulation, tba notes – not proofread. remember to read tags if you do have triggers. i try my best to update tags regarding each chapters, xo. 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 5 of many ! previous chapter | next chapter

before we start. i started compiling a playlist for this story if you were interested lol. main song at the top, along with a bunch of music i listened to while writing this aka inspo LOL . music will be added as i go through the story. also THE TEXT MSGS ARE MAAAD RAUNCY BAYBEE LIKE GOOD GAWD.. U N CALEB ARE DOGGS... ;)

caleb gets up and leaves his phone on the couch. he grabs all the dishes and puts them in the sink. as he clangs around the kitchen she stirs from her sleep. she mumbles incoherencies as she fishes for her phone, her fingers gripping his. she turns it on and blinks at it. 

“whispr notification” she mumbles out, as her eyes squint at it, still needing to readjust her peripherals. she types calebs password with ease and her eyes glue to the notification. she hovers just before clicking it and waiting for the message to arrive.

space baby: you’re okay. not mad, just sad. id like to meet you. ive been thinking about you more than i thought and i think id like to see you if youre okay with that

her stomach drops and she stares at the messages, reading up as much as she possibly can before her lip quivers into some sickened jealousy. who is space baby and why is he talking to her? his wink emoji is reserved for me. why is he flirting with this woman he doesn’t know? a fire in her eyes ignite as she pathetically scrolls through the conversation, each talk lodging a jealous knife into her chest.  

as she goes through, shes hit with a chestful of pain. her lips tremble, is it from jealousy? from the fact her best friend couldn’t text her how he was feeling, and hes reaching out to someone else? as her feelings arise to the surface, caleb finishes cleaning the dishes, and rubs his neck, and walking over to the other side of the hallway. he rummages through the hallway closet, grabbing a towel, “hey pipsqueak, can i shower?” he calls out to her, and she gives him a loud ‘mhm’ before returning to sneak through the phone texts.

space baby: so we can ask anything we want since we’re two randoms right? captain apple: yep! no judgement here. space baby: favorite sex position? captain apple: hmm, i think it’d be cowgirl. i like when the woman is in control, missionary too– honestly as long as i can watch your face kind of thing. you get what i mean? space baby: no yeah i literally have the same mindset, i have a thing with power. dunno why. captain apple: ive got a thing for power too. 

she scowls, as this was unbearable to her. seeing this person speaking to caleb in such a dirty way, made her skin stand, her blood boil, her body temperature drop. 

captain apple: this is really weird, but do you use toys on yourself? i’m a guy obviously, but what do you think of men using toys? space baby: i have toys, but i don’t use them as frequent as i want. and yeah honestly, i don’t care if men use toys. kinda cute actually.  captain apple: cute? haha , space baby your vocab is limited. space baby: hey! it is! wtf lol

she wanted to vomit. caleb was so lewd-- so shameless, and with a random woman no less. this fucked with her as she continues, ignoring her senses

captain apple: do you believe in love? space baby: no i don’t. do you? captain apple: i do. maybe i can change your mind ;) space baby: you are…. so…so corny.. oh my god captain apple: but you didn’t say no!  space baby: fuck ok yes lol. can’t say no to you, you charming man. captain apple: well, maybe one day i can see your flushed face.  space baby: you can maybe see more than that.  captain apple: look who’s corny now! space baby: was it really? captain apple: no… that was.. space baby: ;)

that was enough for her. she throws the phone, and it shuffles onto the edge of the couch. she sits up from her seat, her chin on her knees. she contemplated, biting her bottom lip in debate as she waited for caleb to return. 

as he comes out of the shower he has a towel around his waist, and another towel in his hand rubbing his hair dry. he walks towards the living room where his friend sits balled up, and he goes to touch her head. she scrambles, pulling herself away from caleb.

“what’s the matter pips-” – “who is she?” her voice was low, almost trembling– not with fear, but laced with malice, “why are you texting her so much?” she reaches for his phone, dangling it in the air in front of him. caleb’s mouth goes dry, his face flash with guilt that he couldn’t hide fast enough, “it’s not– she’s just some random stranger that i met from the app. that’s all pips.” he attempts, but she shakes her head, “no- not from the conversations that i saw!” caleb stops in his track, a serious invasion of privacy. he tenses, but his demeanor doesn’t change, “what did you see, pipsqueak?”

she shakes her head again, turning his phone on, “i saw enough! caleb… i thought we were closer… i thought i’d be your #1.. it seems like someone else has your heart now….” she turns away her hurt evident from the things she had read. caleb was dumbfounded, lost, confused. he had never seen her act  so possessive of him, and he couldn’t understand why. whether she did this on purpose made his heart beat harder than he thought it could. 

“i’m sorry pipsqueak i-” caleb goes to defend himself, only to be cut off again by his pipsqueak, “you said we tell each other everything, you said we didn’t keep things!” – “i wasn’t hiding it..” he really wasn't. the man hadn't seen her in months.

“then why does this feel like betrayal?!” her eyes were glossed, but not from the tears. there was something wild behind them– hurt laced with protectiveness? “unadd her. block her, right now, caleb.” she huffs, holding the phone like it burned her, becking him to take it and oblige her. 

caleb looks at her stunned, heart pounding for reasons he wasn’t ready to say, “you don’t get to decide that.” he states dryly, eyes staring to darken as his hands move up to snatch the phone from her hands, “i do when it’s you.” she murmurs, looking off to the side, “because you’re mine , you’ve always been mine.” 

the silence that followed was suffocating— filled with everything he wanted to say and everything he could bring himself to. and somewhere between the space of loyalty and something messier— or rawer, caleb realizes they may be standing on the edge of a line they may not be able to recross one done so. 

he looks down at her piercing gaze, then back to his phone. he turns it on, putting his password in, and clicking whispr. he looks at it and begins to type, “caleb.” she pleads. his face snap to hers, and he could see how hurt she looked. at that moment he was faced with a choice. 

he hits backspace and clicks on the three dots above space baby’s name, 

“unmatch and unadd?”  click.

he slides next to her, and wraps his arm around her as she sobbed quietly. a mix of regret and pain in his eyes. pain that he felt that he had to make such a consequential choice. regret of the unknown. perhaps he lied to himself more than he wanted to? now he will never know who she was, and that was going to sting for a little bit

“im sorry… i didn’t know that was hurtful to you.. ill never do that again.” he brushes her hair as he leans his body towards her.

days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. your maverick stunt was a side quest and your main one was getting neglected big time. skyhavens hangar hums quietly— save for the random bursts of the jet engines hydraulics or your footsteps. you move through active schematics, and glowing consoles, your sleeves rolled up, and your hair tied back. it’s been hours—- no days, since you’ve left the hangar. a cold cup of coffee and an inhaler of some sorts occupy your desk.

you adjust the thrust vectoring array on the new farspace fleet prototype. sleek, nimble, build for tunnel speed reactivity. your fingers move quickly and clinically, for distraction purposes.

there was a small hum from the console as a tech officer patches in while you were mid work, “you’re still here?” you respond without looking up, “this is where i work, and live apparently.” 

there was only a brief silence before the tech talks again, “you’ve run the thermal dispersal model 6 times now.” and without missing a beat, as if you were waiting for him to say something, “well it’s still not good enough. the tunnels don’t forgive errors.” 

once again you’re met by silence, assuming the tech unlinked the call, you sigh, before looking up at the model that returned your reflection, “at least you don’t vanish without a word.” 

caleb had a time after blocking space baby. he continued his regularly scheduled vacation to see her, and they spent more time texting. with her trying to text in the way space baby did, he felt appalled and quite honestly, icky. he didn’t have that weird connection that he did with her than he did with space baby, so with her trying to replace space baby it made him feel conflicted. on one hand it made him feel dejected, this kind of conversation is odd to have with someone he knew and no less, was attached to the hip. but on the other hand it makes him feel comfortable, and more domestic. 

he hadn’t seen you lately either. he’d ask about you and he’d hear multiple things in passing 

“probably busy with the new orders she got”

“she went to another country for work”

“they said she’s not in the building right now..” 

“she’s off and no i won’t disclose her whereabouts” caleb’d even gone to majors himself

when you were the topic there were excuses,  and he hates to admit but a part of him started to get even more sad. shifting three different attention into one person made life boring for him. you were suddenly so busy, and space baby no longer existed to him. he even tried to talk to whispr tech support about getting data and rematching and they’d give him the same answer.

he tried to find space baby again on whispr but by the end of the 2 weeks long process, he’s given up. space baby just didn’t exist in the system anymore and he had to come to terms with that. he relished it while it was fleeting. he enjoyed the life space baby gave the conversation, and sometimes took the reins. she didn’t do either. she was monotone, and would avert the conversation to her own accord. as much as he enjoyed getting that attention from her once more that he so much wanted weeks ago, he simply understood that life moves on, and part of moving one was meeting new people, or maybe it was to let things die down, and see where life took him.

you were okay for the most part. if you were lying to yourself of course. this whole situation made you feel even more iced out. your barrier got higher, and you worked and worked. you went out with your friends from time to time, but they definitely noticed the difference with you now.  it was temporary though– you’d promise. however,  you were just really bad with timing as usual. when you were going to take some time off the DAA called you into the office to have you start a highly classified program and you would work with multitudes of people from other departments. you’d be working with the DAA officially from here on out— or until you finished your project. so much for your planned vacation to another country. 

you finally finished, everything was going according to plan. you just had to finish the panel with the officials before you could take a temporary break. they knew they were straining you dry for having a one woman army tackle this, but there was nobody capable but you.

the room was stark and high tech, built for strategy and scrutiny. the prototype 3d model— sleek and formidable, rotators above the center table, and around the prototype a half circle of farspace fleet officials, commanders, engineers, and senior pilots sit stone faced and attentive.

you stand in front of the projector, a tablet in hand, and your shoulders squared. as they finish their conversations they turn to you, eyes locking with yours. you give them a half smile as you start your presentation. 

“good morning, I will be presenting the TG-X— the next generation tunnel rated aircraft designed for deep environment response“ and maneuverability, extended endurance in high-pressure zones, and rapid escape from collapse vectors.” 

you gesture and the ships hologram peels apart, revealing it’s system in layers, engines, shielding, navigation grid, etc. you clear your throat as the men and women look into each layers meticulously, “the TG-X runs on a twin-core propulsion system with independent stabilizer logic. that allows real time response with deepspace turbulence– down to .5 second input delay- give or take.” 

a fleet commander raises his fingers, his gruff voice ringing through the air, “twin-core setups overheat. you are risking a meltdown during boost.” your eyes dart to him, “not with our thermal regulators. each core is cooled by a fluid compression loop embedded in the outer hull struts– testing shows how heat dispersion exceeds prior models by 20-30 percent.” you flick your tablet, and the projection changes to a simulation. the TG-X navigating a collapsing tunnel scenario. field littered with debris, volatile currents, wanderers around. the ship dips, rolls, and escapes- cleanly.

the room is silent, the fleets people look amongst each other, clearly intrigued. the senior pilot leans in, her fingers trailing the wings, “and the wing design.. looks a little too light for heavy evasive thrusts, no?”  you tilt your head, clicking on the wing, and it opens the list of things it was comprised of, “flexible carbon titanium weave. reinforced at pivot points. it’s light because it has to be. if you’re using brute force in the tunnels well… you’re already dead.” 

that hangs in the air. a few of the officers glance at each other, before another one piped up, “you built this for survivability?” – “i build this so the people who fly it might actually come back.” it’s quiet once again. it settles like a weighted blanket. you stare off into the row of power, till you look back down on your tablet, the commander grunts, as if in a approving way, “we will authorize a full field evaluation. please prepare your men for the next proceeding.” 

you nod curtly, and they slowly file out of the room, until it was just you and your creation.  you don’t tremble. your hands don’t shake, even when they lower the lights and shut down the hologram. you stand, surrounded by silence and tech. no applause, and no words.  your design held up to the most powerful military government in the world, and they listened. this was your power. 

it was a cold evening, but you were even colder as you stood there, tight lipped, while your engineers yelled amongst each other. you tap your fingers on the table, as you look around the area of effect. whiteboard full of scribbles, schematics scattered everywhere, parts on the table, and the prototype sits pretty in the middle of everything. it was kinda relaxing, if hell relaxed you.

definitely beats watching reruns and being sad over a stupid captain apple. 

your thoughts are pried from you as one of the engineers slam their tablet down, “we can’t just run a single coolant loop through the avionics bay! if that line fails we lose guidance control and telemetry! do you not understand how difficult that’s going to be to deal with?” 

“we have a back up-”

“no we have a band aid. its redundant, and not to mention, wishful thinking!” in the corner like a wrestler another engineer raises his hand, “what if we triple the coolant lines. you wanna make it so dense back there no one can service it without disassembling the whole panel?”  finally you chuckle against their bickering, “if someone says serviceability i’ll kill everyone in here. this is a spacecraft, not a family sedan.”  

they all halt their bickering, as you continue, “you’re all right. avionics goes down– we lose everything. cant overload the architecture of the ‘craft. we need an active failover loop. independent routing, isolated power, isolated control logic.” 

you see them slump their shoulders in relief as they slink back into their seats, before you continue again, you start to point your fingers as you spoke to them, “you two rework the trunk layout and confirm thermal thresholds. you– build me a sim with both loop failures and see how long we can survive. and i- will be on redundancy logic. we need that switchover to be instant. autonomous.”  everybody grumbles, before nodding and dispersing for the night. 

they leave and you sit down, your finger rubbing circles on your temple. you were tired out of your mind. you couldn’t sleep though, you had damn near 4 cups of coffee and you were wired out of your mind. 

you grabbed your jacket as you closed the area down for the day. your heels click clack against the tarmac, and as you round the corner you spot a shadow a ways away, near a jet. your brows raise, as it was turning night, and no pilots that you knew of were supposed to be out doing night routines. 

you walk towards the shadow. you walking towards the shadow with absolutely no experience with combat, or a gun, you think to yourself, if this was a bad guy you were done for. but at the same time you were a mean track star back in college, so maybe you could outrun this figure. 

as you think of your possible early death you hear a donk, and followed by a “fuck!” and it snaps you out. it sounded like caleb. “pilot! what the hell are you doing out here this late?” you yell through the howling wind.

calebs body moves to the sound of your voice, and he drops his wrench. “oh shit– sorry. thought everybody was gone already.” your brows raise as he sits on the metal box, fiddling with the undercarriage. you sit down on the free metallic box and observe him. “i just got out of my meeting. you know there are workers for that right?” caleb chuckles as he moves out from the undercarriage, his smile accompanied with a grease line on his jaw. “its nice to be able to know how your companion works. i prefer to do things hands on.” he grabs the towel and rubs the grease off his face and arms, before tilting his head at you, “you know, i haven’t seen you in a while. how’ve you been?” 

“i’ve been better. exhausted honestly.” you put your hand in your face, groaning, “but i can’t sleep. 4th cup of coffee, and i think i have meetings back to back tomorrow, so i have to plan for that.” caleb nods sitting across from you. he grabs his squeeze bottle, taking a quick drink before he looks at you again, “you’re good with her. your plane.” he gives you a sheepish grin, before nodding, “i try to be.” 

“you’re not bad with people either.” you state, and his eyes linger on yours for a second longer, lips curving a bit. “i’ve got a good one in front of me right now. kind of hard to mess that up.” the words hang there, soft and honest. for a second your tired pacing mind stills. no simulations, no systems failing, no heat signatures or safety thresholds… just– him. caleb. 

and it feels nice.

..

..

“do you want to take a nap with me?” your eyes widen, what does that mean? “huh?” you reply dumbfoundedly, and he chuckles, “i mean i woke up from a nap, so i won’t be going to bed anytime soon. if you wanted i could wake you up so you could make it to your meeting on time?” 

you couldn’t help but feel warm from that statement. that was just– lovely. you’d be a fool to say– “no.” you mumbled softly, and caleb laughs awkwardly, “well, i figured i’d offer you.” you rise from the metallic box, and place your hand on his shoulder, “i appreciate your offer, caleb. but i think i’ll manage.” you go to ruffle his hair, and he grips your wrist gently. the two of you stare into each others eyes briefly before you let go so abruptly. you clear your throat, nodding at him, “good night caleb.” 

“good night” he says quietly as he watched you walk off into the building.

a couple weeks go by, your run ins with caleb became more prevalent. you’d be walking around the corner and crash into him. you’d see him walk into the lounge with his friends and they’d take turns ogling you like a piece of meat. you were fine with it, carnal desire was human. but the moment catcalling started hands would be thrown. but they knew better than that. they’d definitely get court martialed for less. 

he would try to get you involved in the stupid escapades the pilots and cadets were doing, only for it to fail miserably as you glare daggers and walked off, but he’d always catch that smile on your face as you rounded the corner. so to him it was worth the trouble.

you’d lock eyes with him as he got ready for flight, the hands on shoulders become more frequent, and your relationship with him gradually rises. the lingering stare became more of a thing when he’d pick up your food for you when you ordered something. he knew where your office was, and he’d make the trek across the runways just to bring it to you if needed. you'd stare at him, maybe share a meal if he had time. talk about your shared interest. shared interested that you may have already known from whispr.

you were a bit intrigued with his sudden pamper to you. you thought it would be because of the moment you two shared the other night, but you also figured that caleb was just a kind guy. a kind guy that was interested in you. not that you were against that– you were clearly interested in him as well. 

knock knock 

“come in” you say monotonously through the tempered glass. your eyes move to see who had come in, and it was caleb. he had a cup of coffee from the shop you had talked about, and your face turned to glee.

“i got you a brown shaken espresso. it’s new.” you thanked him and grabbed the cup, the hot content warming your cold fingers. oh yes, the richest government property in the country and their AC/heater was fucked. 

“thank you so much. how much do i owe you?” he shakes his head as he sits across your desk, “its nothing. honestly.” caleb chuckled, and you stare at him as your computer popped up an email. you read it as it comes in. it simply read;

“maverick is captain calebs. love dad.” you state to caleb. his eyes widen as he smiles in glee, “oh really? you sure you didn’t mess with the results?” you chuckle, shaking your head as you sipped the drink, “course not. but im not surprised. you performed exceptionally well compared to others. you blew them out of the water.” you chuckle at him as the two of you converse about what the next plan of topic was for the maverick. they would be swapping his current plane with the maverick, and they’d have his name on the side and everything. 

“caleb, what are you doing for the holidays?” 

he stills, and for a moment he looked like he was thinking. he did promise he was going to see his pipsqueak, but ever since the events that had happened when he last went, he was a bit drawn back. but he also promised her, and he’s never broke a promise to her.

“i’m probably going to go see pipsqueak..” – “is that like your pet?” – “n-no that’s my best friend in linkon..”-- “your best friends name is pipsqueak? like the radio nav?” he looked flustered, “y-yeah.. that..but no-- thats not her actual name” 

“well that’s cute.” you lie, your deadpan voice giving it away, he chuckles lowly, and puts his cup down, “what about you? anyone special you’re spending time with during the holidays?”  you place your palm on your jaw, and lean your elbow into the desk, a smirk flashing in your eyes, “oh, are you offering?” his face tints pink– and his ears! you giggle as you saw his face redden, and as embarrassing as it was for him, caleb felt at home. you were so warm, and your laugh was music to his ears. he feels as if he was falling, in a good way.

“i could be..” 

“well, i’ll hold you to that.. though, holidays aren’t in like another couple weeks.. but i do love to reserve ahead of time. you’ve got yourself a deal mr caleb.” you wink, and he smiles, before the intercom calls for ‘captain caleb to hangar 23’. he excuses himself as you nod at him, going back to your work. 

friday- he’s out with his friends, bar hopping, except he was designated driver. they were let go early due to the fleet having to come in and conduct their meeting. the fewer eyes the better for them as they say. so now his group of friends and him were currently at another bar to celebrate the early off into the weekend. 

he comes outside of the bar, taking a deep deep breath and closing his eyes. a semblance of peace was all he needed before he went crazy in there. he leans into the brick wall, steadying his breath as he continued to relax.

the neon sign hums, ‘OPEN’ with the E flickering here and there. music and muffled laughter spilling out everytime the door swings open. it was a pilot’s hangout– gritty and loud. the kind of place people go to forget the pressure of space and hardness of work. 

“-- well well, you look exhausted, captain.” his eyes snapshot open, catching your eyes. he straightens a little, turning his body to meet yours. “oh! you caught me off duty. don’t tell command…” he murmurs, and you laugh gently, shaking your head, “relax, i’m not a snitch. i also don’t care what DAA’s finest does on their off time. it’s been a tiring couple months for everybody.” 

a short silence settles between you two. not awkward, but not easy. he watched you stare at him, as he takes your outfit in. you wore it simple today. rings, earrings, v cut short sleeve, with high waisted pants, and white sneakers. when he noticed his prolonged stare he breaks contact, shifting his gaze through the window to watch his friends holler into a mic. he turns back to you, his eyes twinkling as it clashed with the neon colors, “what’re you doing here such a dingy area?” you join him, leaning on the brick wall yourself, and you shrug, “i love the bar food here. you?” – “i’m the guys designated driver for the night. not a big alcohol guy.” 

your eyes move to look at him, your impending curiosity beating harder. you wanted to know so bad. “responsible. how sweet. what do you do to relax and give yourself time?” you smiled at him, as the two of you watch the cars drive by. caleb hums a small chuckle, “well, i like watching planes take off.. i used to do it a lot when i was younger– with my best friend. i also read a lot of books on my free time. i’m a fan of dinosaurs and jurassic park, if you’ve heard?” 

you shake your head, “no i definitely have not, but it sounds cool. are you doing anything this weekend?” you go to reach your phone, and caleb shakes his head, “nope. how did your date with gideon go? he didn’t want to tell me.” 

you freeze up, and purse your lips, looking off to the side, looking a bit guilty. “i couldn’t do it. my mind was just preoccupied, and i don’t really date.” you lie, as you bump phones with caleb. he just gives you a nod and a ‘ah’ before you smile up at him again, “i apologize, but i’ve gotta get going. i bought pizza for tonight, and it’s ready for me. i hope to hear from you soon?” you tilt your head at him as you start for the door. caleb could only give you a nod.

you are home. tired, damn near defeated, but home. you place your pizza in the oven and set it to warm as you head to your room to change into something comfortable. you throw on your robe and your satin loungewear. you got a couple of drinks on the way home after your run in with caleb, and decided to settle down and catch up on island love. 

the pizza was sweltering, cheese ready to stretch as you pull a piece apart. it was like a cartoon pizza. it made your mouth water as you got yourself ready to pull an all nighter.

not 1 hour in you get a call. it was from caleb. you fumble your phone and hit answer as you lower the volume of the tv show, “hello?” he goes first, and you clear your throat, smiling through your words, “didn’t expect to hear from you so soon, caleb.” you could hear his laugh, his tone low and warm, “i just wanted to check and make sure you made it home..” it was a lie, and you both knew it, “you know… your delivery sucks…” you chuckle, and he does too after a second, “hm you know i’m kinda working on it.” 

there was a brief silence, before you ask the obvious, “why are you calling me this late?” another silence, followed by , “just dropped everybody off, and wanted to talk to you.” your heart skips a beat, and you swallow hard, fighting the smile creeping on your face, “hey caleb, do you want to come over? if you’re not tired. do you like chinese food?” 

“i’d be happy to. text me your address, and yes i do.”

“great. i’ll have majors pick you up.” 

-

caleb was lost for words. he was in the back of a sleek and kept car. assuming yours, with majors driving and on calebs lap, was a bag of chinese food that majors had picked up on his way to pick caleb up. you certainly had a lifestyle he was not known to. 

as majors gets out, he opens the door for caleb. he gets out, and he is met with a skyscraper in front of him. it was so very obvious you would have to have some sort of money to live in a place like this. he swore the foyer had real diamonds in there as he ogled. 

majors leads him to the elevator and they both get in. the silence kills them, as they stand apart, staring at the metallic door. 

ding! majors steps out first and followed by caleb. 

“be careful with her.” caleb looks to majors, who was just walking ahead, not a beat missed, “it’ll take a while for you to get used to her ways, but she’s a good woman.” he states, as he knocks on your apartment door. the sound of your shuffles break the quietness that meditated in the hallway, and shortly after your door opens. 

majors nods to you before heading out of sight, and you stand here with caleb. your face breaks out into a smile, and you step aside, urging him to come in. caleb comes in, staring in awe at how breathtaking your apartment was. there were faux models of black and white planes suspended on the sides, about the size of his forearms. he looked at the photos of what looked like was your father on maverick when he was still piloting it, grinning under his helmet. another wall was filled with your degrees, framed like trophies, centered around a photo of your graduation. you were certainly distinguished. he even looks at your dinner table– a blueprint heaven. tools, notebooks, a half-dissected engine schematic. you never stop working, it seems. “you ever turn your brain off?” he mumbles just loud enough for you to hear, and he hears your sweet chuckle float over his shoulder before you indulge him, “if i did that then i’d have no money, and you wouldn't have mav.”

on a nearby bookshelf, caleb spots a faded photo in a silver frame. a much younger version of you is perched on your dad’s shoulder, both of you wearing matching aviator sunglasses. theres  grease on his flight suit, and juice stains on your overalls. he chuckled, his heart warming at the sight of. he can really tell your love for planes. hell, it might even be more than his. 

he snaps out of his trance as he joins you on the couch. he looks down at the coffee table, a cute little metallic version of maverick on the middle, along with some magazines and a candle. he watches as you clear it out to the side and pat the table.

“hey. here’s the take out you wanted.”  he says as he places the takeout in front of you both. “i didn’t know what you wanted, so i ordered some other stuff.” you say, as you take everything out of the bag, placing them on the coffee table. he stares at you as you take everything out, before turning his attention to the tv in front of you both. “what are we watching?” he chuckles, as you take your place next to him. 

“island love. it’s juicy, it provides me drama in my life that i do not have.” you say pridefully, as you explain the premise of the show to caleb. he looked so into it, asking you questions as you restart the season just for him. he comments on the show just as much as you do, and this made your heart flutter, and the butterflies in your stomach come alive. 

“you’re not gonna eat that last dumpling are you?” caleb asks with a sly grin. your brows raise, “was gonna save it…” he leans over, splitting the dumpling in half with his chopstick, and drops a piece into your container. he smirks at you, “compromise” he says as he chews on his half.

there’s a lull. the screen flickers. the two of you are quiet but not uncomfortable. he leans back a little, finishing his drink, and you catch yourself watching him. he looks good here. settled. natural. too natural, maybe. you shake the thought, tucking your feet beneath you. ugh god he’s fine.

you two talk—about work, about families, about stupid stuff. it’s easy, and warm, and you realize somewhere between the second dumpling and your explanation of why jamie should’ve never picked chloe that you don’t want this night to end. 

“so hey, question.” you grab the remote and turn the volume down as you look at caleb. he looks at you, grabbing his drink, “gideon told me you use whispr? he told me about your silly challenge.” you laugh briskly, and he nods, joining in, “did he tell you that i had to take them out for dinner?” he chuckles again, placing his drink on the table. your eyes never leave his, as you open your mouth to speak:

“ captain apple, was it?” 

his eyes widen.

it takes him back to the time where he got busted by grandma. he was trying to sneak some food up the stairs, and was strictly forbidden to take food in his room. so when he got busted he looked like a deer in headlights. 

the tension between you and caleb shifts, subtle but unmistakable. you tilt your head, repeating your words to him. his eyes finally lock with yours, his awkward smile catching the gleam of the tv, “did he… uh tell you my silly nickname on there?” 

ah, he was playing stupid. you shake your head at him, “ha, for sure. i used it a little bit as well.. lets see.. what was my name on there” you fake ponder, before you continue to mess with him, "space baby i think?" he just stares at you, “oh..” he breathes. 

you always wanted to know who was that charmer in those messages that kept you late at night. the man who was always making you laugh and the one who indulged you. knowing it was caleb made your heart a little happier, but you still wanted to know why the fuck? 

“i can explain…” he starts and you just nod,

“go ahead because we have all night— weekend even.” 

his gaze flicker at you, then his hand, “it’s not what you think… i… when i went to go visit her, my childhood friend? the one i was telling you about that one day., she saw the text messages.” your cheeks flush, those were certainly some raunchy messages. you wondered which one, and a part of you wanted to laugh at her, but you nod at him, “she didn’t like… that i was getting too close to you. she suddenly got- possessive? i’ve never seen the side of her.” he mutters under his breath and you breathe a sigh through your nostril. 'sounds like somebody had a crush they didn't want to come to terms with', you think as you allow him to continue,

“she thought… well, that we were getting too close.. that i was getting…. involved..” caleb shifts uncomfortably, his hands clenching into a fist but quickly releasing, “so to appease her i unadded you.” 

the words sting more than you expected, even though you weren’t really expecting much, it still sucked to hear. unadded. like you were just someone to be removed. the weight of it presses down on you, though you try to smile through it— albeit a little bittersweet.

“so you let your best friend dictate who you can and can’t talk to?” you try to keep the humor in your voice but it comes off a bit cutting to him. that most definitely wasn’t your type of man. having this discussion was cutting it close for you as it is “it’s not like that…” his voice softens with an edge of guilt to it, “i didn’t want to but… it got complicated..” 

your heart flutters out of your chest, and your brows scrunch towards each other, “caleb, complicated was me rerunning tests 6 times in a row with random ass results. i don’t want to be rude but it just sounds like you have no backbone for this girl.” you pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing. he feared that you were right. you were speaking truth to existence and he couldn’t do a damn thing. if anything he enjoyed the truthfulness from you. “im going to state the obvious.  we were flirting back and fourth, like a lot. what are we supposed to do with this new found information?”

caleb looks up at you as he ponders himself, “to be honest. i was a bit more bold in the text messages because… i thought we’d never meet..” you chuckle at him, cheeks tinted in pink, “me too.” but you snap out of it. now was not the time to fall for his sexiness! OR do, either way works.

“im going to level with you. im not much for the three way couple stuff… so if you and i are gonna take whispr out of the internet then… you know.” you wag your finger at him, a playful but curious smile on your face now. caleb laughs, calming down, “yeah i… i know..”  you were not going to deal with this little girl who was his best friend, and you were going to make that very and painfully clear if you had to, and from how much caleb figured, you weren’t going to play about him. it made his heart flutter, amongst other things. you looked sexy when you were possessive.

“so, what do you want to do?” you ask after a minute of silence, caleb leans into his arm staring down at you, and you steel your nerves. those lips were calling your name, “let me ask you a better question. are you interested in me?” he smirks into the question, seeing you unravel in real time. “uhm… yes obviously.” you look away from him, your face turning red. caleb takes his opportunity to chuckle, his fingers hooking your chin and forcing you to stare at him. he leans down to get a better look at you. your eyes were locked on his as he continued, “then… we’ll carry off where we were in whispr, yeah?” 

you were just at a loss of words.

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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ! - @rcvcgers, @mcdepressed290, @young-adult-summer, @unstablemiss, @britishfailure, @caramelizedpopcirn, @velvtcherie, @lonelylandofan , @llamabois , @i-messed-up-big-time , @mysticcollectionvoid, @iamawkwardandshy, @auraficial, @mxkvlio, @mysticcollectionvoid, @rxelarailuj, @angelwhizpers,

[foone]

Do you ever get the almost-writers-block feeling where your brain gives you an idea but then completely deserts you when it comes to actually fleshing it out or writing a story with it?

Mine came up with "a future where people subscribe to patreons for body models, which they then can wear"

So like you would pay 5$ a month and now you have the body of the person you subscribed to.

And all I can think of is some complications:

* if you stop subscribing or they end their patreon, you're out a body. You gotta find another one, fast. Your clothes might not fit anymore! You bought them for that body!

* the person who actually owns the body has to maintain it, as any changes will be reflected on all their patrons. Get a tattoo? Now hundreds or thousands of people have the same one. Dye your hair? I hope everyone likes being blonde! You'd probably have, like, polls for this sort of thing. Monetized Democratic body choices.

* what if they get hit by a car? A thousand people suddenly break their legs at once?

* licensing differences for bodies. Like, plenty of body patreons to have a "no doing porn" clause (because it'd be visually identical to the owner doing it), but some restrictive ones have "no having sex" (or "no having straight sex", in one notible example)

* you can subscribe to multiple body patreons and swap between which one you use on a daily basis

* pirated bodies on the darkweb

* police trying to solve crimes when the face that shows up on the cameras isn't the perp, it's some instagram model from Atlanta.

* society gets even weirder about fat shaming because anyone can wear the body of a person who weighs less than a sack of flour. Men on social media saying you gotta get her to show you childhood pictures so you can figure out if she's "really" fat.

* "we'd talked a lot online and she seemed really nice and we had great chemistry but when we finally met up, it turns out she always wears the Caitlin body!" "oh no, isn't that what your ex wore?" "exactly! And you know I've still got trauma from everything she put me through..."

* lotta young trans people figure some things out really quick. Forget "trying out crossdressing in secret" or "asking if people can use different pronouns on discord", how about trying having a different gender's body for a day?

* weird hackers trying to figure out how to modify the body-rental system so they can be dragons or elves. Speaking of which,

* people with body modifications to make themselves look less human being very popular. You can be an elf, thanks to that guy in Bowling Green, Florida who got the surgery to make his ears pointy. Apparently it paid for itself within 6 months.

* body reviews. People try out bodies and review how they are in looks and flexibility and stamina and any random aches and pains they might have.

* imagine reading one for your body. Someone walked a mile in your feet and gave a review of how your body looks and feels.

* weird couples who both wear the same body. Worse, polycules. They get together for a big cuddlepile and it's just 7 of the same body, and it gets difficult to tell where one begins and another ends.

* getting a bunch of information when you rent a new body, so you can know how it works and any odd things you gotta watch out for. Plus makeup tutorials and such, to know how to look exactly like how that body looked in certain photos

* everyone goes back to passwords on their phone. Fingerprints and facial recognition are no good, since someone could just rent the same body and now they have the same fingerprints and face.

* a subculture of disabled people who rent specific bodies not for their looks so much as their painless functionality. One of the most rented bodies amongst them is a woman from Minnesota who is definitely no model, but she's a 26 year old with no aches and pains and body that has plenty of energy and flexibility.

* oh so much drama about if it's ethical to rent bodies from other races. Predictable scandals where it turns out some musician or TikTok star is a white guy, despite their appearance as someone non-white. People get a lot madder at the white people wearing blackbody than the ones wearing asianbody, for reasons.

* a little post-it note inside a Starbucks where the customers can't see it, counting how many of a given body they've had in that morning. Someone named Stephan had 12 tally marks, and Lauren has 8. It's only 9:32 am.

Anyway yeah I have writer's block and can't do anything with this concept. Clearly.

[slut4hee]

You Got It Bad For Me

{Paring: Fwb Yunho x Blk Fem! Reader

Genre: smut, fluff? toxic relationships, 18+ so (mdni).

{Synopsis: When you and Yunho first started fucking around with each other, you both came to an agreement for helping each other out strictly sexually, with no strings attached. But lately your heart’s been craving more, you think you’ve fallen in love with Jeong Yunho….

{Warnings: explicit scenes, rough sex, unprotected sex, make up sex, creampie, oral (f receiving), fingering, backshots bc duh Yunho is an ass type of guy, dirty talk, pet names, jealousy, Yunho is lowkey toxic, they get into a heated argument a little physical on both ends, lmk if missed anything.

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The soft hum of the shower running, was the only noise that could be heard in your quiet bedroom. Yunho was currently taking a quick shower, he had just gotten off work, exhausted from the overtime shifts he’s been putting in lately. This was the only time you and him were able to see each other, at night when he comes straight from work to your apartment, shower and you guys fuck.

This was an everyday routine for the both of you, you guys working early in the day, and then tangled in the sheets by night. But lately you’ve found yourself craving for more, you want to see him during the day, bring him lunch to work, go on dates with him, to call him your man.

Of course you and him agreed to just fucking, you and him being on the same page that you both weren’t ready for a relationship. But things has changed, well at least for you it has, you developed feelings for him or maybe you’ve always liked him. The buzzing sound coming from Yunho’s phone, on the nightstand startled you a bit, being that you were starting to get deep into your thoughts.

You knew peeping through his phone was totally privacy invasion, and a complete breach to your friends with benefits only relationship, but you couldn’t help your curiosity to whether he was sleeping around with someone else or not. You looked at the bathroom door, it was slightly ajar, but the water was still running meaning that Yunho was still shower.

Once you saw the coast was clear, you grabbed his phone off the table, opening up his screen and seeing a bunch of messages notifications popping up on his phone screen. Yunho didn’t care to have a password on his phone, being that he is a single man and he trusts you not to invade his personal space, and because of the agreement you guys have.

Little does he know you’re breaking that trust right now, you could feel your throat going dry and your heart beating out your chest, as you read through messages between him and other bitches, but what really had you fucked up was the message between him and this girl name Kiara. It was the week before, Yunho had told you he wasn’t going to be able to make it tonight, because he wasn’t feeling well.

Of course you were a little sad that you weren’t going to be able to see him, but you also understood that he wasn’t feeling well so you decided to not be selfish and let him get some rest. Only to find out he blew you off, to go fuck on some hoe name Kiara?! You were furious.

You threw his phone to the side of the bed where he sleeps, as you set up straight with your arms folded across. You didn’t even notice the water had stopped running, until the bathroom door opened, and Yunho’s tall figured appeared with a white towel covering his bottom half, and his chest bare as water droplets slowly ran down his toned torso.

You almost forgot why you were mad at him, the unholy sight of his being half naked, as he dry off his hair with another white shower cloth. But your anger quickly returned when you remembered reading all the messages between him and other women. Yunho walked over to you, his tall figure towering over you, as he leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead.

You didn’t even react to the kiss, instead you just glared at him, not saying a word. Yunho frowned at you before asking what was wrong with you.

“What’s wrong baby? You not feeling well?” He questioned, as he sat next to you on the bed. You quickly got up, and sat on the other the bed, scoffing at him as you mumbled some not so nice words. He quickly got up as well, but this time standing over you, as he leaned down to be height level with you.

“Mind telling me why you’re acting weird tonight?” He said confused, he wasn’t used to you acting this way with him, it was all so foreign. You rolled your eyes at him and smacked your teeth before you started to chew his head off.

“I don’t know Jeong Yunho, why am I acting weird tonight? Huh?! Maybe it’s because you’re a lying piece of shit” You huffed, your chest heaving and down, as you let your anger out on him. Yunho looked at you with the same confused but you could see he was starting to grow irritated.

“What? Lying? When did I ever lie to Y/n, stop being fucking ridiculous right now” He said in a irritable tone, as he stood up and ran his fingers through his damp hair, his muscles tensing at the action.

“Oh really, so you didn’t blow me off Friday night, to go fuck on some bitch name Kiara Yunho?!” You stood up, facing him as you clenched your fist together, charging him up and puffing your chest against him. His jaw clenched, and he ran his hands through his hair again but this time more intensely as he process your words.

“YOU WENT TROUGH MY FUCKING PHONE Y/N?” He shouted at you, looking down at you with an angered and irritated expression. You glared at him even more for yelling at you, tightening your fist even more, as you fight the urge to slap him in the face.

“YOU DAMN RIGHT I DID, AND FUCK YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?! NOT A FUCKING THING” You screamed back at him, pushing at his chest as you release all your pent up anger and emotions. Yunho grabs your hands from pushing at his chest and jerks it away from him.

“Who gave you the right to go through my goddamn phone Y/n, that’s called privacy invasion” He said through gritted teeth, trying to calm himself down, as took a seat on the bed running his hands down his face annoyingly.

“Oh please don’t give me that shit Yunho, if I never would have went through your phone motherfucker, I wouldn’t have found out you a lying ass bitch” You shouted at him, standing in front of him as you pushed at his chest again. Yunho stood up, sizing you up, as he got all in your face, you could feel the rage radiating from his big slender body.

“You watch how you fucking talk to me, you going to talk to me with respect do you understand me goddamnit?!” He screamed in your face, his chest heaving up and down, as he was fuming with anger. Your lips wobbled, as tears started to prick at your waterlines, you pushed past him before as you walked away and retreated to the other side of the bed.

You brought your knees up to your chest, hugging them as you started to sob, letting the tears finally fall. Yunho let out a frustrated sigh, running his hands down his face once again before walking over to you. He stood in front of you, before getting down on his knees and rubbing soothing circles on your exposed thighs, being that you were only dressed in your short nightgown that covered little to nothing.

You swatted his hand away, before turning away from him telling him to leave you the fuck alone, but of course he didn’t leave you alone.

“Y/n come on baby, can we please just talk this out like adults, instead of fighting like children” He said softly but sternly, you didn’t say anything back instead you kept sobbing, letting out all your tears you’ve been holding back. Yunho hated seeing cry, of course he had every right to talk to other females, being that you two weren’t together but it still made him feel shitty to see you crying over him like this.

“Sweetheart please look at me, please talk to me I’m begging you, I’m so sorry I lied to you baby girl” He said gently, grabbing ahold of your legs and pulling them apart, as he slotted himself between your legs and pulled you into his embrace. You caved and surrendered to his touch, as you laid your head on his shoulder, still crying and shaking.

He rubbed your back in a comforting manner, whispering apologies to you, and telling you to stop crying. You pulled your head from his shoulder, and looked at him, your eyes puffy and red from crying. He cooed at you before kissing your lips softly, and rubbing soothing circles on your thighs again.

“I’m so fucking sorry baby girl, let me make it up to you princess, let me make this right” He whispered into your ear, as he laid soft kisses on your neck.

୨ৎ

“Oh fuck! Oh yes Yuyu right there!” You moaned loudly as Yunho was eating your pussy like a starved man, your legs were spread nice and wide for him, as he devoured your sweet wet pussy like no other.

“Am I making you feel good princess, you like when daddy eats your pretty little pussy huh?” He smirked against your puffy wet folds, going from flickering to sucking on your swollen clit. Your legs were shaking with pure ecstasy, as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

“Yes daddy fuck! You’re going to make me cum all over your face oh my god” You whimpered, your body heating up from the intense feeling of pleasure, Yunho was truly the pussy eating king, he was such a munch, he could literally stay buried between your legs all night and day if he could. He pulled away from your pussy, before spitting directly on it, and sliding one of his long digits inside your tight little hole, and going back to sucking and abusing your clit

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and your legs trembled violently, as you reached your high, squirting your arousal all over his face and body. You felt your legs go numb, your ears ringing as you tried to calm down from the intense orgasm you just had. Yunho was leaving a little trail of kisses down your plump thighs, and he whispered words of appreciation and affection towards you.

You barely had time to recover before Yunho was manhandling you around, putting you on all fours with your face down, and your ass up. You bit your bottom lip, as you wiggled your ass, enticing him to hurry and fuck you hard. Yunho enjoys fucking roughly, and at first when you two first started hooking up, you didn’t care too much for rough and hard sex. But ever since Yunho put it on you, you can’t have it any other way, always being a good little slut for him, letting him beat your poor little pussy up.

“Fuck baby, pussy so hot and ready for me, I know she fucking misses me, isn’t that right little one? You miss daddy’s big cock inside you” You whimpered as delivered a slap to your pussy, talking to it as if it was a person. He rubbed his fat mushroom tip between your drooling folds, teasing you before he absolutely murders your pussy.

“Yuyu! Fuck me please, fuck me so hard daddy” You whined, pleading with him to stop teasing and get on with it, before you could protest again, you felt his thick cock breaching your tight little cunt, you felt like you were being ripped apart but I such a good way.

“Oh shit baby, oh fuck pussy so tight goddamn” He groaned, not wasting any time, already starting to pound into you. You gripped the sheets tightly, biting down on the pillow, as you take Yunho’s brutal strokes. His cock was huge, and hits the right places, causing your pussy to clamp down on his throbbing dick like a vice.

“Yes baby! Please don’t stop fucking me Yuyu, Oh god you fuck me so good” You screamed out loud, throwing your ass back at him, as you meet his thrusts half way. He grunts deeply, smacking on your asscheeks, as he fucks you into the mattress, completely destroying your insides. You could feel yourself getting close to your high for the 2nd time tonight, the band in your stomach threatening to snap any minute now.

“Fuck daddy, oh Yunho I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum” You said desperate for your release, the sounds of skin slapping, the bed creaking violently, and your uneven breaths echoed throughout the apartment, you’re pretty sure your neighbors weren’t too happy right now.

“Yeah? Gonna be a good girl and cum on daddy’s dick, if you do I’ll give you a little reward by filling you up with my cum sweetheart” He whined, he could feel himself tipping to edge as well, his strokes becoming sloppy and erratic. Finally he hit that spot that makes you act a fucking fool, you cried out as your body went limp, collapsing on the bed as you came hard around Yunho’s dick.

His body collapsed with yours, as he fucked you through your high, as he chased his. The intensity of your pussy squeezing and milking his cock for what it’s worth, had him cumming hard inside you, thick spurts of white milky cum shooting deep inside you. You both were panting, chest heaving up and down, as you both come down from the intense highs.

He collapsed on the bed beside you, pulling you on top of him, not caring how his cum is leaking out of your pussy, onto his bottom half. You both laid in silence, staring into each other’s eyes, as you exchanged a wordless conversation. Yunho kissed your lips softly, before softly saying

“𝐈 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈’𝐦 𝐈𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐘/𝐧”

The End….

A/n Gasp! “Omg Slut4hee actually posted” ik ik I’ve been Mia 🫣 I can explain I been in my sad girl era!😓🤮 but I’m slowly getting better okay! But omg I just had to cook something up for you guys after seeing that get ready with me TikTok Yunho posted god! I’m so obsessed with him all jokes aside 😀 but I hope you enjoy this little drabble as much as I did🫶🏽 reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! Not proofreading shii homie😌

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Taglist:

@i03jae @ataver @ancnymcnzjy @kolawnk

[ms-demeanor]

One of the major things I worry about with a PWM is that if I happen to pass away suddenly, then how will my next of kin be able to access all of the accounts they need to? Even if it's tedious work to write down every single password, won't my next of kin be frustrated with putting in another nonsense string of numbers and letters while they're still in the middle of grieving?

I have many weird and swirling answers to this, none of which are particularly comforting.

The dead don't owe convenience to the living. It would absolutely be frustrating to have to enter a bunch of random characters to change over an account, but it would also be frustrating to have to dig through forty pounds of paper to find which one had the passwords written on it, and it would be WAY WAY WAY worse if the account was hacked and drained because access was overly simplistic. This is actually a huge section of my Death Book because I had to do it for my dad when my mom died. (if anyone is unfamiliar with the death book see my pinned post) However: grieving was going to suck anyway, in the scheme of things complex passwords are going to be a lot less frustrating than dealing with people.

Password management and mortality is a pain in the ass. I have a section in my death book for the predeceased to write down their passwords but there's no recommendation for updating that because the unfortunate thing is that sometimes you'll write down your passwords and they'll have to change and you won't update documentation before you die. It might be better to write down recovery keys or security answers so that survivors can reset account access instead of having to deal with someone else's passwords.

There are shared password management accounts with various admin rights that allow you to have kind of a family organization - of the paid plans that I see out there, this is the best reason I've encountered for using them. You can be an admin and help reset access for your grandmother, or you can be an admin and access your brother's passwords if he dies. HOWEVER, I'm not much of a fan of these things because I don't think the security risk of having other people have access to your passwords is worth it (I'm not even sure about writing them down and putting them in a book). This is less about hacking and more about potential issues of abuse - if your elderly parent has a password manager that you and your sister administer, but your sister decides to empty the bank account, she has access to do so. If you and your partner share a password manager and they have access to your account and suddenly become overwhelmingly jealous of your relationship with a coworker, they have access to everything they need to isolate you and make your life miserable.

Everything you really need access to can use a death certificate in place of a password. Bank accounts, utility accounts, credit cards, mortgage companies, life insurance - the key to unlock all of those in the event of a death is a death certificate. Which is, in fact, a pain in the ass but it's better than the alternative (the alternative being "It's easy to access someone's account by claiming they died.") Furthermore, on many of those kinds of things the deceased shouldn't be the only one with access; my partner and I share bank accounts but we don't share a login to the bank.

Talk to your loved ones about sharing the things that are important to you (deeds, leases, account info, photos, videos, writing, etc.) and get ready to write off the rest. I don't have access to my spouse's email account, I don't want it and I never will, and any accounts tied to that address have other ways of getting access. Whatever he's doing in his email is not my business. If I were to die tomorrow Large Bastard wouldn't be able to post an update on my tumblr; he doesn't have the passwords to my devices, or the password to my password manager, or access to the email account I used to create any of my accounts.

Genuinely "what happens to my accounts when I die" is an important conversation to have with your loved ones, but the answer shouldn't be "they're able to log in to everything because my password was Fullname!Birthyear"

[pinksilkribbons]

COLLAGE: yan! classmate

CW/TW: non-consensual candid photos, elijah has a shrine of [name], mentions of praying to and basically viewing another human being as god, small implication of a boner, general yandere stuff ig.

You guys my last post on Elijah got quite a few likes I’m so glad y’all like him!! He’s my least developed OC so i decided to write more on him and develop his character. I’ll post some of my others soon!

Ever since he bought his new polaroid, Elijah has discovered a new side of himself. At the beginning he’d only taken pictures of you and hung them around his closet.

But eventually…he grew tired of it. Not of his darling, no! Of course not! But…it was rather difficult to sneak photos of you without getting caught. Not to mention the majority of them turned out blurry anyway.

Something needed to change.

He didn’t just want pictures of you at school. He wanted pictures of everything. When you’re angry, when you’re sad, when you’re eating. Pictures in normal clothes instead of a school uniform for fucks sake!

In the beginning school was the easiest (and only) way he could gain access to you, but now it’s proving to make his job that much harder. There’s too many risks involved.

With a dramatic sigh he shut his closet door, making sure to click the padlock into place. After hanging so many pictures of you on his closet walls he decided it would be wise to invest in a lock.

He knows it isn’t normal. Taking pictures of people without asking isn’t normal. Being so deeply obsessed with someone isn’t normal.

But not being normal doesn’t make him bad. Just…more passionate!

“Hey mama?”, He asks, trudging down the stairs.

His mother turns away from her phone with a quick glance his way. Her head tilts up as if to silently ask him what he needs.

“You aren’t using these magazines anymore, are you?”

A small stack of magazines with a bunch of ‘trendy fashion’ labels catches his eye. On the front cover a young lady with blonde hair is posed in a field of flowers. The lady, however, isn’t what he’s interested in.

She laughs playfully and watches Elijah pick up the stack. “Well, not exactly. But why do you need them? I’ve never known you to be interested in fashion.”

Elijah feels a rush of red to his cheeks. A part of him feel dirty. Perverted, even. It’s clear his mother is implying something dirty, and while she isn’t even wrong, he’s probably planning something much worse than whatever she’s imagining right now.

It takes a few good seconds for his mind to come up with a plausible excuse. “W-well, I’m not interested in fashion! I just need some material for this project in art class.”

Luckily his mom doesn’t question him further. She definitely rolled her eyes at him though, clearly not believing his story.

As soon as he makes it back to his room Elijah is quick on his feet. He rushes over to his closet so quickly he almost falls over. A pulse of excitement gushes through his body as he begins to unlock his closet door.

The password to which is his darlings birthday, of course!

Upon opening the door, one wouldn’t suspect much of anything. Clothes, shoes, some random boxes, but nothing out of the ordinary. The real magic is in the far right corner, at the very bottom of the wall.

So far his collection is pretty small. The few photos he does have are all taped beside one another, carefully placed to ensure nothing is crooked or overlaps with the other. This small corner is Elijah’s entire life.

He lives and breathes [Name]. In fact, every morning, without fail, he finds himself in this exact position; sitting on his knees, admiring his darling. He bows his head and prays to your existence.

The amount of sheer joy your being grants him should never be taken lightly. Elijah is a good boy. He’s thankful. And He proves it every single morning.

“I feel kinda bad, cutting up her picture like this”, he mumbled to himself. His hands carefully maneuvered the scissors, making sure to save as much of his darlings face as possible.

Believe it or not it came out pretty good! Next he needed to cut the cover from his mom’s fashion magazine, which proved to be the real challenge.

The blonde lady on the cover was dressed in a blue flowy sundress. From the moment he saw it Elijah knew that dress was meant to be his darlings. The chances of him getting a real photo of you in this dress were zero, but he’d like to think he’s quite creative!

To finalize his creation he glued [Name]’s head onto the models face, successfully dressing her in the beautiful gown. Just imagining her in such an outfit had his heart racing and pants tightening.

It made him feel proud knowing he found a way to grow his collection while also reducing the risk of getting caught. Next time he visited the library, Elijah would be sure to pick up a few books on collaging.

You truly did bring out a new side of him. Who knew he was so artistic?

[sailorsenshishitposter]

PSA

I've yet to see anyone mention it yet but if you have a Crunchyroll account (premium specifically) then you should go and change your password immediately. Someone leaked a bunch of account info on Twitter and I'm hearing that user's are not only logging on to others accounts but changing the password so the original user can't get back in.

UPDATE:

The post is gone and the account is suspended. No word from Crunchyroll yet.

[quitealotofsodapop]

I don't think Wukong might have been wearing his armor. At least not the famous armor he's known for. Considering he was supposedly asleep when the Thrall took Wukong's egg, he was likely wearing either his standard outfit or something closer to sleep wear (which tbh could just be his standard outfit without the chest plate, shoes, and the waist wrappings) and I think it's implied the outfit got destroyed into he fight with the Thrall, or at least heavily damaged

Prev.

I thought about this after I made the post + this other anon ask;

And now I'm imagining a whole Heist-style episode where the Monkie Kids (MK, Mei Peaches, and Sandy) come together to plan a heist on the Megapolis Police Department in order to get the Monkey King's armor back.

Peaches and MK see it as a perfect opportunity to flex their transformation abilities. Peaches takes the form of Monkey Cop while MK is his loyal Deputy. Mostly cus it would be a lot easier a "tutorial mission" to transform into a slightly-different monkey than a whole new animal.

The heist has issues of course

Mei is diguised as a speedster doing dangerous driving so the bros can get through. Sandy is posted outside in the van as their handler ("I've seen the inside of this place before a bunch of times! They know my face.").

Hijinks ensue as you can imagine. Lots of speech checks need to be passed. Key cards and passwords borrowed to access the files + evidence locker. Turns out the layout has changed since Sandy last got arrested, so they end up in the wrong room at some point - for some reason I'm imagining a retirement/birthday party for an actual police officer.

The gang suddenly has a strike of moral dilemmia, and Peaches/Wukong decides to just walk up to the front desk as himself and ask for the evidence taken when he was picked up those 18 years ago.

And... they give it to him.

Turns out the cop he befriended at the retirement party was the officer on that case. The cop seems to know "Peaches" is something else but decides it none of his business as long as no crime has been broken. (The kids laugh nervously in Heist-mode)

The gang happily run home with the evidence box, excited to show Tang and Dadsy the Monkey King's armor.

Only for....

Macaque, unimpressed: "Wukong. Those are your pyjamas."

Peaches/Wukong, holding whats obviously not armor: "Waa??"

Macaque points out that the "armor" is no more than linen cloth with no ornamentation or protective padding. Likely whatever event led to him losing his memory occured when the Monkey King was snoozing. His real armor is probably back on FFM in his hut.

Macaque: "Also, if you needed to steal something from the police; why didn't just ask me to do it?"

The gang: (*avoid his gaze all embarassed*)

They still keep the pyjamas though - it's the Monkey King's pyjamas after all.

Macaque's nose curls as he recognises a scent on the fabric. A dead, cold scent....

[justmeinadaze]

Ghost In The Machine (Eddie X You)

A/N: I wrote this a few days ago because I need it more than anything rn.

Title is based off of SZA's song "Ghost In The Machine".

"I give a fuck, I just wanna fuck, eat, sleep, love, happy Can you make me happy? Can you keep me happy?

Can you distract me from all the disaster? Can you touch on me and not call me after? Can you hate on me and mask it with laughter? Can you lead me to the ark? What's the password?

I need humanity You're like humanity"

They do text near the end. Eddie's texts will be in red.

Warnings: Daddy Dom Eddie X Stripper Sub (slight bratty) Fem Reader, SMUT, dirty talk, dry humping, phone smut, slight degrading if you squint, choking), Eddie is kinda mean at first, traumas are alluded to but not expanded on (Child abuse; bad past relationships), light FLUFF with my usual dash of the ANGST.

Word Count: 4060

Being asked to perform at parties like this wasn’t new for you and the other girls. Having the manager of a famous band reach out to your company for some “entertainment” wasn’t odd either. What was odd was that you were told Corroded Coffin had four band members and right now you were looking at three. They seemed content with the girls they had grinding and kissing on their lap so you decided to take a look around the mansion style home you guys had been called to. 

It was extremely beautiful with a bunch of rooms displaying different things. Your fingers grazed the wall at the bottom of the bands framed platinum and gold albums. Turning into what you assumed was a game room, you found a billiards table and a PlayStation with a mini bar in the corner. Around the area, shelfs prominently showed off the band’s awards and accolades with MANY pictures of them in different places. 

As you walked further down the hall, you passed an open-door smelling smoke and hearing light strumming of a guitar. Pausing, you took a couple of steps back to peer into the room, finding that missing fourth member.

He had headphones on over his long, wavy hair as a half-finished cigarette dangled from his lips. His eyes were closed as his fingers ran across the instruments strings as it leaned against his bare chest. His jeaned leg and barefoot tapped to a beat as he listened to his music. 

“Jesus Christ!”, he exclaimed as his eyes shot open feeling a change in the atmosphere. “What the fuck are you doing over here?! You girls are supposed to stay in the goddamn living room.”

“Hey there’s no reason to be rude! Your friends were preoccupied with the other ladies so I thought I’d look around.”

“Uh huh. To steal shit?”

“No! To look. I got bored, ok?!”

“Hm. A hooker who’s bored. That’s something I haven’t heard before.” His tone is dripping with mocking as he rises to his feet. 

“That’s no reason for you to be a fucking asshole!”

“You watch your mouth when you talk to me, little girl. I can make sure you and your ‘company’ never get another job again.”

“Oh, Mr. Tough Rockstar is oh no scary. Fuck you. I’ve handled way worse clients than the number 5 band on the billboard charts.”

The man’s held tilted to the side as he finally drank you in. You were visually different than what he expected when his friends had suggested reaching out to an agency to have some women come over to celebrate with since they were nominated for another Grammy. Eddie didn’t care about that kind of thing; he just wanted to play music. When he heard the car pull up, he immediately disappeared to his room to practice and write some new songs. Not that he wasn’t interested in “entertaining a woman”. This metalhead liked a challenge and he enjoyed even more a strong woman that wouldn’t just cater to his every whim. He didn’t want a woman who would get down on her knees no questions asked. Eddie wanted one who would tell him to fuck off but then after a few consensual activities would be dripping and begging for his cock.

Women were offered to him and his friends constantly. He wanted something he had to earn so that way when she finally submitted, it was all the more sweet.

“What’s your name?”, he asked in a much softer tone.

“Y/N. You?”

“Are you asking to be polite or do you genuinely not know who the guitarist of the band who is number five on the billboard charts?”

“Do you always make things this complicated?”

“Yes.” When he grins at you, you can’t help but smile back.

“Some of the other ladies find catering to a man’s ego really gets them going. I find it’s better to ask them questions, Mr. Munson, especially since most of our clients think we don’t care about them.”

“Do you? Care I mean.”

“Sometimes.”, you shrug. 

“You’re honest. I like that.”

“I don’t really see the point in lying if I’m probably never going to see you again.”

“Do you WANT to see me again?”

This time it was your turn to tilt your head. He said that with a lot of the sass he had been giving you since he saw you but something else was behind his eyes when he spoke, something lonely. Your palm reached out confidently, landing on the bulge in his jeans. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t notice his size. The part of him that was against your hand wasn’t even all of him and you gulped as you tried to regain your confident composure. 

“Do you want me to help you feel better now, Mr. Munson?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”, the guitarist mused as he stepped forward, placing his own palm against the wall behind you and trapping you against it. “I hate when my questions go unanswered.”

“You-you must be used to disappointment then.”

His nose grazed yours, grinning a big tooth filled smile before his eyes flicked down to your hand on his cock.

“You must be to, Y/N.” Slowly, his fingers trace down your arm and take hold of your wrist as he holds it still. “Be honest. Have you ever felt a dick as big as mine?” 

You licked your lips as his hips began grinding against your palm, trying to push down the moan that wanted to escape. 

 “Ooo someone’s confident.”, you jest. Something in his look changes as the hand on the wall behind you slides down to your throat. In most situations with your other clients this would be a time to panic but he wasn’t gripping you violently. When his fingers firmly pressed into your skin, your brain felt fuzzy as your pussy clenched around nothing. 

“I’d say I’ve earned the right to be confident. Now, Y/N, this your one warning. Answer the questions I ask you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-yes Mr. Munson. I understand. N-no. I’ve never felt a dick like yours.”

He smirked as he pressed your palm harder against him. “Good girl.” Your let out a sigh when he released his hold on your neck to push some of your hair behind your ear. “You really are beautiful, Y/N. Fuck and your hand feels so good. I can only imagine how the rest of you feels.”

“You don’t have to imagine. You can have me if you want me.”

Eddie’s smirk grows as he bites his bottom lip. “Honestly, sweetheart, I’ve never wanted anything more but…that’s not how I play. I don’t want you to fuck me because you’re paid to.” He leans in till his lips are right by your ear. “I want you to fuck me because you want to…need me to.” You hear his breathing stutter as he moves his hips faster, his grip on your wrist tightening. “Beg me to.”

“Oh fuck…”, you whimpered at his words. His movements become choppy and grunts before you feel dampness on his jeans. 

He leans back placing his forehead on yours as he licks his lips and softly smiles. “See, what would usually happen now is I’d make you cum to. I bet that pussy is just aching to be touched but see…you’re getting to paid to make us feel good…not the other way around.”

You’re honestly too stunned to say anything or fight back with your typical brand of sass. Right now, all you can think of his him and how bad you need something from him; anything. 

“Can…can I kiss you?”

When he nods, you waste no time connecting your lips to his. You immediately taste the nicotine but that undertone of him has you dizzy. All too quickly, it’s over as he pulls away. He doesn’t just move his head but his whole body as he backs towards his bed, yanking off his now stained jeans and boxers.

“How long are you ladies here for?”, he asks nonchalantly as he sits on the bed and picks up his guitar again. 

“Huh? Oh, um, 2 AM I think.”

He glances at his phone before handing it to you. “Time’s almost up. Put your number in there for me.”

Eddie said it like a command and your instinct was to say something snarky but as you looked down at him strumming his instrument without looking at you, you realized there was more to this man than meets the eye. Most men who begged for your number always watched you intently to make sure you actually did it, you assumed. Of course, you gave them a fake number or the number to the agency you worked for but with this man here his head remained lowered. It was almost like he was afraid you wouldn’t…like he really hoped you would and would be hurt if he watched you decline, giving the phone back. 

There was something about Eddie that you wanted to know more about. He wasn’t like everyone else you had been around. For some reason, you felt like you could trust him. 

After inputting your real number, you placed his device back on his nightstand and sat beside him. “We still have 45 minutes. Can I ask what you’re working on?”

His eyes shoot over to you as he cautiously scans your soft smiling face. “We’re working on this new album and Jeff has this song he wrote but I can’t find the right sound. I was just messing around and recording them to see if it sparked something.”

“May I hear what you have so far?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

He reached over, grabbing an extra set of headphones and placed them over you head. You grinned as different guitar riffs and melodies began to play. 

“This is all you?” Eddie nods. “Wow. Mr. Munson, you are definitely talented.”

When he pauses the recording and you slide the headphones around your neck. “You can call me Eddie if you’d like.”

“Okay, Eddie.” After putting the headphones over your ears again, he pressed play and you both leaned back in his bed. 

He couldn’t help but be a little shocked that you didn’t try to touch him again. Anywhere he or his band went, people tried to touch his body whether it was meet and greets, walking through the street, or even on stage when overzealous fans would jump on and run at them. Any girl that was lucky enough to be in his bed would insist on touching him until she left as if she knew this would be the last time she saw him. That’s another reason he struggled to maintain any kind of relationship. Besides the crazy rockstar life, he never was keen on being constantly touched. 

He got enough of that with his career and when he was growing up when his dad would knock him around. With his last relationship, they fought constantly because there were times he would come home from a long day and just wanted a moment to decompress alone. He knew she meant well but even after nicely asking her to give him a moment she would still try and wrap her arms around him or try and kiss parts of his body.

What he didn’t know yet was that you understood that feeling all too well. Being in your line of work, men seemed to believe you didn’t even have a line they shouldn’t cross, always touching some part of your body until their time was up. When you were just a stripper at the company you worked for, men were the same but at least you had a bouncer to quickly pulled them back. When times got hard and you told your boss you were willing to sign up for the “side hustle”, it was just you and the girls. 

No one had ever gotten too physical like that but after your client came you just wanted them to roll over and crash or just leave you there till the timer was up. Personally, you chose to stay away from relationships knowing most men wouldn’t like your line of business. Men constantly offered to “save you” but you knew it was all talk. They didn’t really care about you. 

When you moved to the city, you promised you were only going to look out for yourself. You took care of you and had for a long time. The last time you relinquished control like that, you got burned and ran all the way to a new state. 

A small hand tapped your knee and you jumped before realizing it was one of the other girls letting you know time was up. 

“Ok, I’ll be right there.” You turn to Eddie and hand him his headphones. “I really like what you have so far. That last one was beautiful.”

“Thank you. Here, um, let me grab my sweatpants and I can walk you out.”

“Oh, Eddie, no. You don’t have to do that. It’s super late and in your gated front yard I don’t think anyone is going to jump us.”, you giggle. 

“Ok…I’m going to put on pants anyway though because I want to hug you if that’s alright.” Without waiting for an answer, he finds a pair on the floor and pulls them up just below his hips. 

“Do arms not work without sweats?”

“They do but I don’t want to be disrespectful by rubbing my dick on you and making you uncomfortable.”

“Didn’t I just…”

“You made that move, sweetheart. You put your hand on me.”, he grins as he places his body in front of yours. “May I hug you?”

When you nod, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his chest as your own limbs cling to his upper torso. This was a new feeling for you. It had been so long since you felt safe in someone’s arms. His hand petted your hair as he kissed the top of your head. 

“I’ll talk to you later to make sure you’re alright.”

***

You sighed as you entered your front door, putting away your things, and throwing yourself on your bed as you closed your eyes. A sudden ding on your phone made your eyebrows scrunch as you blindly searched for it on your bed. Swiping it open, you noticed it was from an unknown number but as you read the message, a smile slowly formed on your face. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Just checking in to make sure you got home alright.”

“Are you stalking me, Mr. Munson? Lol. I literally just walked in the door.”

Tossing your phone back on the bed, you figure it will most likely take him awhile to respond but as you go to your closet to change you hear that familiar ding.

“Yup. You caught me. I followed you home.”

“Shit. I just realized that’s probably not a joke I should be making in your line of work.”

“I was just thinking about you and wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Lol Eddie! If I thought you were like that I wouldn’t have given you my number : ) “

“I’m alright though. Thank you for checking up on me.”

“Of course. I’ll leave you alone now so you can sleep.”

“I actually wasn’t going to go to sleep just yet.” 

You paused for a moment debating on if you should tell him what you were going to do before bed. You were hoping if you did maybe he would talk to you like he did in his bedroom. Hearing him murmur his words and what he said got you wetter than anything else. You could still feel your slick sticking to your legs after you changed your clothes. Hell, it couldn’t hurt, right?

“I just got back from spending some time with this long haired rockstar with a huge cock who got me all hot and bothered so I was going to relieve some of this pressure here.”

You watched the dots on his end appear and disappear. The longer it took him the more nervous you got. Had you crossed a line?

“Don’t talk like that. Be upfront and honest. Talk to me like a big girl. What were you going to do before bed, Y/N?”

You could almost feel his stern eyes through the screen as you rubbed your thighs together. 

“I was going to touch myself and think of you.”

His name suddenly popped up on your phone and you didn’t hesitate to answer the call. 

“Hey Eddie.”

“Are you still wearing what you had on here?”

“No. I’m naked now.”

“Liar.”

“Eddie, I’m not—”

“Call me back when you’re ready to be a good girl.”

Your jaw dropped as he hung up and you huffed as you called him backed. “How dare you—”

“I don’t play games like that, little girl, and I hate liars. I figured since I got you all riled up and you are no longer on the clock maybe I could help you out. I also thought it would be fucking sexy to hear what you sound like when you cum. But if you want to cop an attitude with me, I can treat you how bratty little girls deserve to be treated. Now…what are you wearing?”

“I’m wearing an oversized t-shirt with my panties from earlier.”

He could hear your pout through the phone and it was making him hard all over again. 

“Good. Good girl. Why didn’t you just tell me that in the first place?”

“I don’t know. I just… I always have to be SEXY; you know? God forbid I show any humanity.”

“Not with me, princess. I imagine you look just as sexy now as you did looking up at me with those big, beautiful eyes against my bedroom wall."

“Thank you, Mr. Munson.”

“Of course. Now tell me, baby. You said you were going to touch yourself and think of me. What about me?”

“I was thinking about the way your lips tasted when you kissed me…so good.”

“The cigarette taste didn’t bother you?”, he chuckled making you smile as one of your hands roamed up your shirt to touch your breast. 

“No. Not at all.”, you giggle back, biting your bottom lip. 

“That’s good. I’ve had some complaints.” You can hear him smile and your fingers run along your nipple as your exhale heavily. “What are you doing over there, honey?”

“I’m playing with my tits.”

“Mmm. You did have some perfect tits. Well, from what I saw under that tight ass tank top.”

That makes you genuinely laugh and his smile grows at the sound. “What else were you going to think about?”

Your hand slides under the waistband of your panties as your finger slides through your dripping folds. 

“I was going to think about your thick cock against my palm and the way you rubbed against it.”

“Yeah? You’re going to imagine me doing that right now between those gorgeous legs? Grinding my dick against your pretty little pussy.”

“F-fuck, Eddie.” Your eyes rolled back as two of your fingers breached your entrance. “Please…keep talking to me…like that.”

“You like the way I talk to you? Was that something else you were going to think about? Picturing me whispering in your ear like I did when you were here?”

You didn’t know but he was leading you somewhere. There was one thing he wanted, needed to hear you say on your own. As soon as he heard it, he was yours and he would do anything to make you his. 

“Yes, I liked hearing you say the things you said.”

Eddie could hear you touching yourself and your little moans were driving him crazy as he quickly pulled down his pants. 

“Princess, is it ok if I touch myself to?”

“Yeah, baby. Of course. A-are you—mmm—still a bit sensitive?” The sound of him spitting in his hand had you clench tightly as you whimpered. 

“Ah, no, baby girl. But with those sexy fucking whimpers and groans I’m not going to last long.”, he chuckled. “How many fingers are you using?” You barely heard him as you thumb began messaging your clit. “I asked you something, sweetheart. What did I say when you were here?”

“If-if—mmm—you ask…me…something I-I answer.”

“Good girl. Tell me how many fingers you’re using.”

“Fuck…two. Two, Daddy.”

Eddie practically growled with pleasure at the word that he had been praying would fall from your lips. 

“Jesus, yes. Good fucking girl. I want you to use three. You…you have to prepare that pretty pussy for… Daddy’s big cock.”

As soon as you did as he asked, the English language completely escaped your mind. 

“I…your…oh my…” He grunted in your ear reminding you of when he was pressed against you sending you toppling over the edge as you came hard. The sound was almost too much for him as he pictured your cunt spasming around him as you moaned his name just as you had. For the second time that night you made him cum as his spend shot out and hit his stomach. 

“Are you ok?”, you mumbled, drunk off your orgasm.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m alright. Are you?”

“I’ve never called anyone Daddy before.” You had no idea why you were being so honest with him. That wasn’t necessarily something he needed to know but for some reason you thought maybe the knowledge of that would make him feel special. You wanted him to feel good. 

“What made you say it now?”

You scoot your body further into your bed as you curl up into your sheets.

“I feel safe with you. I know that sounds so weird. We barely even know each other but I do…”

You listened to the soothing sound of his breath into the phone as he absorbed what you were saying. 

“I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes.”

“I can handle the asshole.” You smile when you hear him softly laugh. 

“On Friday, we’re going to be spending some time at the recording studio. Do you want come by and listen to us play?”

“I would love to but I have to work Friday night.”

“How about you come by in the afternoon and then go to work? Are you…um…”

“No, side business Friday. I’ll just be dancing.”

“Ok, cool. Maybe when we’re done, I can meet up with you after.”

“Eddie…I like you a lot but are you sure you want to do this? I strip and I have sex for money. I’m not proud of it but I’m not ashamed of it either. I’m doing what I have to do right now.”

He was silent for a moment as he thought about what you were saying. 

“Y/N, I’m not perfect. I’ve been arrested, gotten into fights with paparazzi, and like I said I can be a bit of an asshole. I like you a lot to but I understand that this is all new. You and I lead interesting lives. I’m not…going to harp on you and I’m not going to, I don’t know, offer to fucking save you or whatever other douchebags say.” You laugh making him smile. “But I would like to take care of you…physically, mentally, emotionally…financially.”

“I don’t know how to give up control like that.”

The way you say that makes him want to scoop you up in his arms and cradle you into his chest. 

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“No, not tomorrow.”

“Can I come over so we can talk? We’re doing this stupid photoshoot thing but I can come over after and bring some food. Of course, only if you’re comfortable. That’s all that really matters to me, baby girl. I want you to be comfortable.”

You don’t know why but you believed him when he said it. What was it about this man that had you breaking all your normal rules?  Not just rules with the business but in your life. You had been on your own for so long that you didn’t need nor want to become involved with someone. However, it would be nice to have someone take care of you for once…

“Okay, Daddy”

[dreaming-hibi]

Tech aspect

This is actually kind of old but, when it was 2020 and I was quarantined, I thought to myself, "What if KHR characters have use zoom and stuff to communicate during covid? What would be their usernames?"

so I ended up making many usernames, and then I wondered what kind of phone they would use... to what wallpaper... and profile pic anndd... Well, I didn't get much school work done in those days obviously.

Thanks to @ilx-8s, 'cause I had honestly forgotten I had this! Took me an hour to find it.

Tsuna would use something totally boring like tsuna27 — every other day Reborn hacks (read: he just knows where Tsuna keeps his passwords) into his account and changes it to VongDecimo to

His profile picture is just a very badly taken picture of Nattsu (or is it Nuts?)

Gokudera goes with 10RightHand, which has basically everyone and their mother asking him if that means he has 10 pairs of right hands

He doesn't have a profile picture but his status are hilarious, "The Tenth praised me for getting rid of some delinquents!" or "That idiot Yamamoto thinks he can be a better right hand than me but he's wrong", basically it reads like diary entries

Yamamoto was told he could use anything he liked so he went for baseball_yama, except for the fact that "yama" means "mountain" so it's basically a joke meaning "baseball_mountain"

He's actually the most normal out of all of them and his profile picture is just a him playing baseball

Ryohei is an idiot and his username would be boxing11111111111111111111111111, because he forgot to press shift and those exclamation marks came out as 1s

It was his sister Kyoko who set his profile picture to a boxing glove

Hibari didn't even want to make an account so someone else did it for him and his username would be hibari. with a period at the end like some kind of boomer

He did, however, decide his profile picture and that's Hibird

Mukuro only got one because the Kokuyo members made a private server to communicate and he didn't want to be left out (although, of course, he will never admit that). His username would be best_illusionist (everyone had to change usernames to match his)

Whoever keeps changing his profile picture to a pineapple WILL BE STABBED (it's a joint effort between all the members)

Chrome would be the only allowed to keep her original username, kuromu_kuromi

She's part of two servers: Kokuyo High and CuteGirls

Her profile picture is Kuromi

Lambo would only be allowed to get an account when he's older, age restriction! Anyway, at 13 he was probably still a brat so he would be LAMBOISTHESTRONGESTHITMANEVERRRR, unfortunately usernames cannot be capped

He did eventually change his username to llambo_bbovino

His profile picture is a picture of him trying to be charming, except that just made the other guardians tease him

Reborn goes by reborobot and acts like a spam bot to get on Tsuna's nerves — he also has a bunch of other accounts, because, again, he has to make Tsuna's life hell

Kyoko was probably the one to suggest getting a discord so that the girls could get together, and her username would be kyoko_mymelody

She's the main admin for the CuteGirls server (yes, this is definitely a joke on PreCure)

Her profile picture is My Melody

Haru was the one who suggested using Sanrìo character as usernames (because codenames are cool), her username would be haru_keroppi

She told everyone to choose the one character they loved the most or the one they related to

Her profile picture is her dressed as Keroppi

Unfortunately, I don't have the other characters because someone (yes me!) stopped at Enma....!

[six-eyed-samurai]

TOKYO REV X INSTAGRAM

🌸MIKEY isn't online that much and by that I mean he probably opens it once in a blue moon. Low-key strikes me as one of those people that randomly become active and spam reels, update stories, instigate shit in the group chat and then boom. Just suddenly disappears again. Has forgotten his password more than once (Emma/Draken memorize it for him). His feed is probably memes or desserts or all kinds of ASMR. Doesn't check the profile of whoever follows him and doesn't follow back; keeps forgetting to set his account to private despite Emma's nagging so he ends up having a bunch of strangers and bots following him, probably

🌸I can see DRAKEN'S Instagram FYP having those would you rather (super expensive, sleek, iconic race cars) or (beautiful celebrity name) reels, motorcycles and whatever got infected by the reels his friends send. Follows a few celebrities/companies/news and only people he knows. Active in stories but rarely actually posts. That one friend that watches all the reels. Muted the GC and everyone's acting like he killed their dog (me).

🌸MITSUYA obviously follows all those big name designers and fashion brands, small t-shirt brands and maybe a couple models. I feel like his account is one of the most active: lots of stories on his sisters, does those "(month) dump) photos, gets tagged a lot on everyone else's photos. Somehow managed to avoid all the brain rot reels; he likes watching reels but hates when they all get repetitive (eg same topic different influencer, same dance moves). I absolutely know he keeps highlights. Has a normal person PFP and bio with favroite music. 10/10 nicest Instagram accounts to look at.

🌸 Predictably CHIFUYU'S Instagram account is full of Peke J, silly cat stuff, manga updates (he follows the mangaka) and out of context life updates ("just ate glass ow"). Super easy password to guess - pekej123 probably. His posts are selfies, cats, his friends, cats, once his mom, cats...I think Chifuyu can never decide on a profile picture to stick to as well. Depending on what his current obsession is probably changes it to his favourite character/Peke J/ some blurry selfie. Secretly dreams of having a girlfriend to match it with so a) he has a girlfriend! b) it's cute and c) he doesn't have to decide for himself.

🌸 I'm sorry but I see BAJI as one of those really bad at using social media people, which is a real shame because if he did figure it out he'd probably have a gigantic following and spam reels to everyone. Always accidentally shares the wrong story to Close Friends or public - in fact his account is public too, because he forgets to change it to private and actually doesn't really know how. Follows his mom and tells his friends not to tag him in freaky/gang stuff because she can see it. Posts like he's never heard of stories.

🌸KAZUTORA probably only got an Instagram account because of his friends or when he's working at the pet store, to follow and promote it. Eventually grows to like it though and gets addicted to reels...probably subconsciously absorbs the brainrot and doesn't realize until someone points it out. Surprisingly frequent poster once he gets the hang of it. Hates watching trends because they get too repetitive but loves it when it's of someone's pet dancing.

🌸 TAKEMITCHY has the most normal and typical account ever. Posts a lot of the gang and eventually Hinata dominates it all because simp boyfriend. Probably has some "inspiring" quote on his bio. The good photos of him (aka the ones where he doesn't look like an overly excited kid taking selfies) came from other people."Me and bro" kinda reels are on his FYP a lot; one time he didn't share a "send this lucky Buddha to someone or risk bad luck tomorrow" and had a really bad day so now religiously shares it out.

🌸Definitely one of the girls who posts one picture of themselves and gets about 1000 likes, EMMA is the most frequent user of Instagram and posts like an influencer. Has everyone's Instagram and if you want to stalk someone hit her up. Watches and likes every one of Draken's stories and you can't convince me otherwise. Shinichiro is very unhappy so many stranger boys follow her. Very cute PFP, very aesthetic pictures, very demure-

🌸HINATA has a very private account, so you can't really tell what she's up to based of her online activity. Just a couple photos of friends with no obvious faces, scenery snapshots, fit photos with her face cropped out, which Emma insists is a big shame because she's so pretty!! That friend who sends you "I'm so proud of you" posts and really nice reels. Instagram note probably has some trending song as well.

🌸 I low-key feel like YUZUHA is one of those girls who only take pictures of part of their face - forehead, cheek, shoulder, neck, but never the whole thing. Uses it mainly to help promote Hakkai in the good timelines. Her FYP is beyond cursed and so are the reels she sends. I can see her and Hakkai doing dance trends together to post or playing around with filters.

[messyzoranablog]

Zorana's Random ArtFight  Character Button Guide!

Do you want a button that randomly chooses one of your characters to slap on your ArtFight profile for those who can't decide on who to draw? Well I got the tool for you!

This super neat site here not only can be used to have an image change when refreshing the page, but it also can be used to randomly pick a character out of the many characters you may have!

To get this to work you'll need... This site and your characters! Having a fancy button graphic is optional, but I'm assuming you want to use one anyways so make sure you have your graphic of choice uploaded to an image hosting site such as FileGarden. The steps are under the cut below.

STEP ONE: Decide on a username and password for your link and make sure you write it down somewhere just in case you want to add more characters later. Continue until you're at the page with a bunch of text boxes.

STEP TWO: Copy each character link you want to add into the boxes, ONE PER BOX! Hit the submit query button when you're done. If you run out of space to add characters, click the submit query button and it'll give you more space to work with.

STEP THREE: Ignore the fact it's showing you a bunch of broken images (it's trying to read the links as image files) and copy the big link at the top of the page. Clicking it will just send you to a random character, so you need to copy it from the page.

STEP FOUR: Now go edit your ArtFight page where you want your random character button to go. This can be your main page or some other page, though I recommend the main one.

STEP FIVE: Insert the copied link onto your page. I recommend either finding/making a graphic that tells people it's a random character button or make it linked text that says it's a random character button, otherwise most people won't understand what the link is for. Make sure people can see this in both dark and light mode!

STEP SIX: Save the page! You're now done, feel free to test out your fun new button!

[kairiscorner]

HIIIII I LOVE YOUR WORK SM THEY MAKE ME CLAW AT THE WALLSSS (they make my pinoy heart SING so tysm for writing these 💥💥💥)

ANYWAYS Can i request a Hobie Brown x Filipino!Reader, where she brings him to like a family gathering (Maybe like a Manny Pacquiao party) And he’s like having the time of his life- like he has a plate full of food, jamming out to karaoke with his guitar, and like he’s playing with the Readers little cousin and he’s like spinning them around on his arms they’re calling him “Kuya Hobie”?

TYSM 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

HELLO PO, omg i'm so happy to hear that <:DD aLSO THIS IDEA IS SO CUTE WAIT...... ik i said i'd be on a break but this request was too cute NOT to do >:))

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

kuya hobie brown

your family absolutely loves hobie, he's practically a part of the family now. they love how carefree and loving he is, and the adults love how well he respects your elders--doing the "mano po" whenever you introduce him to someone older, but always remaining friendly with whoever he's talking to. towards your cousins, he's their role model; he doesn't blindly obey what he's told, and will make his own way if he has to. in short, hobie gets along with all of your family, and you couldn't be any happier that he does.

"i cannot emphasize how chaotic your family is," hobie tells you as he wraps your hands in his own. he turns to you, grinning widely, and with his other hand, he brings it up to caress your cheek. "this might sound really crazy, but i feel at home here." he said as he leans in close to press a kiss on your forehead. you giggled at his show of affection, and you could've sworn a couple of your titas saw you two, pointed, smiled and started giggling and whispering to each other. one had their phone out, ready to take a picture of the next sweet moment you two would share, but you took hobie by the hand and got out of the adult's area and to the kids' area, where no one would bother you two.

"pasensya na, ha, my family is chaotic, though... a little nosy." you admitted with a bashful and awkward giggle. hobie grinned, he held you close as you two walked over to the living room, where your younger cousins were playing video games and with toys, and as always, screaming.

"i've dealt with nosies a lot of the time, i do like your family, still. and you already know i love you a whole bunch." he beamed as he kissed your cheek, which caused you to break out into a wide smile. your younger cousins witness hobie kiss you, and immediately, every single one of them squealed and screamed. they teased you two in the classic, elementary style tease, "they're sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" they'd exclaim, and you'd threaten to change the wifi password on them if they kept doing that. hobie was still very happy to hang out with you and your younger cousins, they were a delight to him.

he already had experience babysitting mayday, so he knew all the right and effective tactics to use to entertain these kids. you watched as he went over to a couple of your younger cousins who were playing with action figures and dolls, and he asked them if they've ever seen an action figure of the coolest spider man in existence. they claim they have, but hobie told them that's impossible, because, "i am the only one in the whole multiverse who has him." he said with a smirk as he showed the kids his handmade figurine of himself, which you looked at in awe.

the kids flocked together to see the figurine of him, and when they told him they've never seen this spider man before, he chuckles, and tells them, "oh, you haven't?" you have to hit him lightly on the arm to get him to stop while he's ahead. "delulu kasi yang kuya hobie ninyo, akala niya siya si gagamboy." you joked, to which he responds by playing with his figurine and telling you he'll save you from the killjoy monster that's about to eat you up!

the kids really loved hobie, they insisted on doing karaoke, and though hobie wasn't very excellent at the singing, you took over that department for him, with him playing the guitar. the kids loved your performance together, and he even taught them how to play basic chords. as the day was ending and a lot of your younger cousins had to go, one of them in particular ran up to hobie as their parents were reminding them it was time to go.

"oh," hobie would say in surprise as the kid ran up to him and hugged him, "mamimiss ko po kayo, kuya hobie." they'd say as hobie would hug them back. "aww, i'll miss you two, little fella." he replied. "can we do it again, po?" they'd ask hobie, and before you could ask what 'it' was, hobie agreed. "alright, here we go!" he'd exclaim as the kid placed their feet on his, with hobie holding the kid's arms tightly, spinning them around and around with his heels as they giggled.

you wasted no time and grabbed your phone to film this beautiful moment, your younger cousin kept giggling and calling hobie their 'kuya', to which hobie's smile grew wider and wider. you smiled just as wide to yourself as you stopped filming and encouraged your younger cousin to go home after the probably thirtieth goodbye.

"they really do love you, hobes." you said as you took his arm in your own. "and i really love them, too. they're so sweet, and you... really have a soft spot for them too, don't you?" he asked you with a teasing smile. "well... i'm their older cousin, of course i do. kahit na lalamunin na ako ng KJ monster... you save them and me from it, aking gagamboy." you teased him as he kissed your nose, wishing he could be with you and your family, seeing your younger cousins' happy smiles every day.

a/n: AKING MINAMAHAL NA KUYA HOBIE 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD, i wanted to write more about it kaso i wanted to emphasize how sweet hobie would be with the kids, LIKEEEE, HE IS THE BEST KUYA EVER

[raemanzu]

Okay, story time, containing awkwardness of the closeted queer nerd variety. And the dangers of using weird passwords.

Picture this common frustration: I have been locked out of an important online account.

No, I don't remember what kind of account. It might have been an online banking account. Now I'm thinking it was probably my car insurance.

In any case. All I remember is that it was something very financially significant, and I NEEDED to get into that account, so I could pay an important bill or something, something time-sensitive.

Stress was high. I did not have very much money and did NOT want Collections to be called. I was also a very young adult.

This was back in the early 2010s at the latest. I had only lived outside of my childhood home for a year or three at most. In my outer life I was a quiet modest Mormon girl coping with living in a New Scary Liberal Place, insistent that I was definitely Not A Lesbian and had not left Utah because of being in love with my best friend, definitely not, we were just good friends.

And in my inner life I was an extremely confused repressed queer ace nonbinary person doing very whacky gay chat roleplays with my future QPP, who I was now living with at their parents' house, featuring many anime and JRPG-inspired OCs with various complicated relationships with sexuality or lack thereof, including some intersex boys who were basically sex slaves to a bunch of royal women.

What does all this have to do with getting locked out of my account?

Well, there was a moment when I called the customer help line hoping someone could get my account unlocked, and the guy on the other end asked me what my password was.

"Oh. Um." I paused for what felt like an embarrassingly long amount of time. I had a habit of using names or features of my OCs combined loosely with L337 speak to help me come up with unique but memorable passwords. "Uhhh, I'll just spell it. So it's the numeral zero. Capital W… lowercase o… m… e.. n…"

At this point my face is starting to get kind of hot.

"Number 4… m..e…" I finish in an awkward laugh.

"Okay, so just to check, it's 0, Women with a capital W, 4, me?"

"Yeah," I laugh again, realizing that the likelihood of the average person having at least one question about that password and what led to it, is pretty high actually. In my flustered state I may have even rushed to try and awkwardly explain "it's an inside joke!"

BUUut if I said that much, I hope I stopped at that point, instead of regaling this random man with even a brief summary of the story of a traumatized sex slave who was desperately afraid of being forced to please royal women in bed. (hmm I wonder if there are POSSIBLY any PARALLELS between this idea and my asexual nightmares about being forced to temple-marry a random dude… lol).

I'm not sure I DID actually stop there though because I'm the kind of socially awkward nerd who sometimes infodumps that kind of thing, like a missionary wanting everyone to hear the good news of My Amazing OCs which definitely are just quirky because I'm So Creative, they have nothing to do with my Inner Identity Crisis. Even more so back then. (I'm a TINY bit more self aware now).

I don't remember what the guy said, if anything. But I was dying inside, wondering if this random man was constructing an entire narrative in his head around this poor technologically challenged closet lesbian. I may have even said that I had "moved in with my best friend" when I gave my updated address, because this account was based in Utah rather than Washington. Which is even more incriminating.

In any case, some part of my brain was convinced he was onto me.

Because I just had to go and use a weird awkward in-joke as a password.

Luckily, he didn't ask any more questions (out loud). Maybe he forgot about it all right away. I got access to my account restored, and immediately changed my password to something safe and completely indecipherable.

But yeah, 10+ years later, me and Cal still laugh about the 0Women4me incident. Still definitely not a lesbian, but for different much more queer reasons.

[quietautoportrait]

Random thoughts I had while reading the Book of Bill [spoilers ahead]

Yeahhh, I’m not doing that.

First of all this book costed me $25 (twenty five) dollars, I am not writing anything on it.

Second, I am black!! So no! :D

Yup, this is creepy.

OH ? 😀

I am not turning that page again 😀

Wrong. I will never die as long as memories of me live on, so we’re even. You should have watched Coco, loser.

McGucket catching a stray, oh my god ?

You!!! Cannot trick me ! ! ! Compliments will get you nowhere! I am LOVED and CARED for !!!

The pages don’t have numbers, why would you do this to me ?

Silly Straws®, teehee. Serious Straws™, nuh huh.

Jokes on you, I live in Canada and I already have chronic depression. Sucl on taht looser.

Okayyyy, I guess I’ll try ONE demonic pact just to know how it goes.

Laws are made up!

(Please what’s the password)

The puns, good lord.

What is it with you and licking stuff ?

I don’t think you can advise anyone on fashion style really. Monopoly man looking ass triangle.

I don’t have it in me to decipher (haha) the secret messages today, please.

I wonder if the barcodes work.

Maybe he stole one of TS’s Grammies.

This book is hilarious

The book reading me :

Optimus prime most perfect being in the universe now canon.

I’ve never wanted to read the Great Gatsby.

Hi Stanford :D

Going from “trust no one” to “you have to trust me” is insane, near death experiences really do change a man.

Of course I have free will, I’m reading this book 🤨

Iron deficient people all hate Dennis.

So far I’ve learned nothing from this book, Bill literally scammed me wth ?

That’s not how you write creeticsm.

Bill polyamorous officially canon.

That is indeed a tall hat.

Cause of death : Devoured by hummingbirds.

Being “too annoying for hell” is crazy, yet fair.

Will somebody ever match my freak? </3

Scrimbles last wish was for me to see the next page, I simply obliged.

All I’m hearing is that there ARE places where other Bills WON weirdmageddon except YOU 🫵

Are you ashamed ? I would be ashamed. This is shameful.

They do have big heads tho, it’s true…</3

You’re so obsessed with the kids it’s getting weird, stay your creepy ass inside!!

Possessed Mabel is my new obsession.

Is that a pair of scissors??

Dripper Pines is not following up to his name; outfit’s whack af. Sad, disappointing.

Bill you are not that popular, please stop.

She dumped your ass, huh

I AM A REPULSIVE BEAST OF UNFATHOMABLE WRETCHEDNESS, GROTESQUE BEYOND MEASURE! I FEED ON YOUR DISGUST! I AM REPUGNANCE INCARNATE, AND SHAME CANNOT CLAIM ME.

He’s so real

Stanford aromantic officially canon.

Oh my lord, Dipper what did you hear baby :(

I love Soos so much please stop playing with me.

Oh no, Pacifica honey :(

You’re so obsessed with Dipper, please get a JOB.

I wonder what’s the name of the group chat.

I had to google “sascrotch”.

I love Dipper so much please hold on.

The search history…oh I would have kms.

#drankcoffeeheartfeelweirddying?

No, but does killing a ghost make a double-ghost tho?

I feel like a need a whole section for the search history, Dipper wtf

A hot glue scented candle :((

Big ass head

Why would there be a freaky Friday support group online Dipper…come on now..

Grow extra finger impress uncle :(((

I hated that, thanks for showing it to me.

Mabel chaotic lawful now confirmed.

“Fantasy” by Mariah Carey, she’s so real

Emphasis on “Rash” and “Out of character” cause some of y’all freaks decided to get super mad at a 12yo girl 🤨

Huh…McGucket’s mind definitely feels different to him. Good to know 🙂

We thank him everyday for his memory-erasing gun

Didn’t you say you’re not dead ?

“I looked up and saw the stars. And I was ready to be one” okay you ate that one little thing, I’ll give you that.

Bill…did you unexpectedly cause a genocide..?

That’s a lot of things that I will not unpack.

I am getting wayy too much information about his love life than I wish to.

Please enough.

Well, Time Baby didn’t destroy his dimension now, did he ? Your only similarity with him is that you’re the last one of your kind 🤨

That man had his first encounter with Bill on Feb 3rd 1901, yet the inventioneers’ fair news paper was out in Jan 22, 1901…?

I too have had enough of the French.

This is the blood of a killer Bella.

Bill is such a boyfailure (tri-failure?), he’s been trying to get on earth since the dinosaurs!! Just give up! Do something else!

How can a broken science experiment lead to so much drama. Please kids, don’t go to school.

That waitress was so lame, it was funny!

You set a what on fire ? 🧍‍♀️

You didn’t go no-contact, you killed everybody 💀

Boy, oh boy am I excited to read the fandom’s theory about this >:)

The getting along sweater ™

McGucket turning into the third Pines brother.

He already had trust issues Bill, did you really have to give him a slogan ?

I love them so much, if I ever catch teen Stanford it will be on sight.

“He may be a god, but I am a scientist.” Coldest bar in GF’s existence. Speak your truth bestie.

Oh ok, this is creepy 😀

Your hate of grammar mistakes doomed us all Stanford </3

Well, this is terrifying.

It’s so extremely sad how if any of the twin had died during that period, no one would have ever known about it…

It upsets me so hard how fast he jumped to the conclusion that Stanley broke his machine on purpose. Even then, I would simply not let my twin get thrown out the house with NOTHING to survive. Did he even graduate high school?

“Too cool for the FDA” is insane, someone had to beat him up, this is crazy.

You didn’t “abandon” your family. Your dad is a piece of poo and doesn’t deserve your time nor your support. He can go choke tbh. Also, Stanley’s definitely gonna make fun of you, he’s your brother dude 🤨

Is Ford a Taurus ? No reason for him to be that stubborn.

I admire his dedication to be a menace.

Ngl, that was a weird break up story.

Why is it always a handshake with you? Why can’t we make a pinky promise?

He misses Ford so bad.

If Stanley isn’t an irredeemable screwup then neither are you Stanford.

Oooh, being called a needy theater kid…I would have shot him not gonna lie.

He’s been talking it out this whole book Mabel, I don’t think he’s ready to move on.

Dipper is talking to all the Mabel haters reading right now btw, he told me all about it.

Are you really a con master if you got caught every single time ? :(

Oh now you’re obsessed with Stanley? Damn that’s crazy, you really need to talk to someone about it.

Ugh, now I feel bad for him. Deserved tho, seek therapy dude.

LMAOO???

The henchmaniacs didn’t call? They suck so hard, what the heck

I love these nerds so much.

[fuck-customers]

(oh yeah, good customers can exist!)

Working an IT job where there were a bunch of ways to fix your password if you had a working device, but if you had nothing but the internet, you had to go through a website and it was slow and people hated it. Hated it SO much if you got a customer survey for that call it was basically an automatic failure.

The lady got to me as a supervisor, because she'd already done the website and it had failed randomly, so she was hopping mad by the time I had her. I got her calmed down, we started the process again, and after a quick check about things that might knock it out even if they weren't supposed to, we turned a tablet off wifi (had already tried it, would not complete for no given reason).

As a supervisor I promised to call every day while we waited for it to process in the back end, so she knew she wasn't forgotten. It took a week to process. The call took about 2 minutes of my day just to check in and make sure she was on track and let her know of any updates if I saw them

On the day it was released it was in automatic countdown, and I called her to find out we had 15 minutes to wait, so I sat with her and got it all fixed up, making sure she was looked after when it turned out the whole reason everything had gone pear-shaped was some billing issue. Passed her over to the billing team to hopefully resolve that.

Matter solved, customer happy

The really beautiful thing was something I hadn't realised. She had gotten a customer survey midweek. It was positive! The comment explicitly called out that she would have marked it badly "but for that wonderful person on the other end of the phone"

One of my biggest things when I first got her was validating her anger. "You're justifiably upset, the system failed you, I can't change that it did that, but I want to help you get it fixed"

was a really lovely thing seeing that time and care had been so appreciated in a very tangible way

Posted by admin Rodney.