#and dont feel in a place to develop something serious

[micxsso]

Tess & Dyani have been spending quite some time together. Nothing serious for now or perhaps ever but they give each other support like good friends. And sometimes... they have fun like more than friends.

[shidoglazer]

the note

princess x knight

sae itoshi ＠shidoglazer

it started with him being the one who was assigned to watch over you in your everyday life. wether you were taking a stroll out, having a cup of tea or even just reading one of your fantasy romance books, he was always there beside you. you didn’t know him by his name, always by “sir knight commander”.

you were taking a walk beside the castles balcony, railings too short to save anyone from falling. how lucky for you to trip on a pebble, almost on the edge of falling before the knight grabbed you by your shoulders, steadying you back up “do watch where you’re going for your own safety, your highness.” he lets go of your shoulders when you’re pulled back closer to the wall and not the railings. your heart was still thumping from the adrenaline before looking back at him, smiling warmly.

“thank you, i, what’s your name again?” you tilt your head in curiosity. “sir sae is what you may address me as, your highness.” he spoke with a stoic face and a serious voice, while your smile grew wider at that. “sae… okay. lets continue our walk!” you turn your head back and continue walking towards the pathway of the balcony.

it may just be you being clumsier than usual, but the way you were tripping almost every time you both were in a slightly risky area made sae suspect you were doing it on purpose. nonetheless, he kept his mouth shut and helped you accordingly, always pulling you back to balance by your shoulders before saying “be careful, your highness.” his voice and touch is engraved into your mind by now. and you knew it was so so so wrong that you were developing a romantic interest on someone with a lower social status.

midnight, when sae was off-duty, was resting in his personal room. no sounds except for the crickets, the foot stomping of the nightshift knights and wind blowing through the window. but tonight, there was an unfamiliar sound, the door creaking open gently and closing with a few thuds. his eyes shot open in instinct, lifting his body up, “who steps-” “its just me.” the princess stood there with her nightgown on, looking as delicate and gorgeous.. and beautiful— no, what was he thinking?!

“your highness. is there something wrong?” he quickly fixes himself up, ready to step out before you push him back onto the bed. “nothings wrong. could i sleep beside you tonight?” and he almost freezes at your request. you dont even wait for a response from him to start crawling into his bed, laying next to him, a bit too close for it to be considered ordinary. out of instinct, he backs off from you. “..your highness, what are your intentions?”

“isn’t it obvious? i like you.” you shuffle towards him, face being too close to his for comfort. sae doesn’t know how to react. he knows theres been a tingly feeling in his throat and stomach whenever he touches you, and that goes extremely out of the royal rules (that knights must respect women.) “..your highness..”

he stutters, but tries to remains composure. “this goes against royal protocol.” “it’ll be our little secret.” “i’m not allowed to keep secrets.” “then i allow you.” “the king and queen are the only ones allowed to change a law.” “but i love you.” and that silences him.

theres a deafening quiet between you two. “princess.” he says with a stoic tone, one you’ve known for way too long. “thats what you are. a noble. one social status above me. your blood is cleaner than mine. your hands are soft from silk and tying ribbons. mine are calloused, trembling and stained with blood, soaked in lives I took so you could stay safe, your highness.” he pauses. “so please. don’t risk your life, don’t risk getting executed or banished from the royal to be with a knight like me. there are so many princes that’d die at the hands of a commoner just to be in my place.”

you don’t know what to say or do. but before you know it, your eyes are stinging. your cheeks become cold from the tears and the wind blowing against your face. “but.. but.. i love you.” “you don’t. please don’t.” his hand reaches up to stroke one of your teardrops away. “sae.. just indulge me once? please?” “once.” and you nod eagerly. he reaches for you to pull you closer to him, pressing his dry and scarred lips against yours, soft and plump that he wished he could claim for himself, and not a prince that would treat you like dog shit. he wished in another life, maybe he’ll be born as a noble. one that could claim you as his forever.

but unfortunately, he was cursed with this life. this life that he had to pull away from the kiss, from you. “..go back to your room. you have a special ceremony tomorrow.” and you would’ve forgotten it was going to be your wedding day with a prince from an affiliated royal if he never mentioned it. you let out a choked sob, shuffling out of the sheets and out of his room.

your fingers press against your lips, trying to reminisce the kiss that happened not even a few minutes ago. and you wish that maybe in another life, you’d be born as a knight. to fight beside him, one that could claim him as yours forever.

it becomes dawn way too fast for your liking. your ceremony is in a few minutes, and everyone is surrounding you to make sure you look perfect. sae’s watching from a distance. you catch his eyes through the thick metal armour, and he looks away almost immediately. as if reminding you to not be stuck onto him. and shit, you really feel like crying now.

your ceremony starts, everyone claps their hands when you and the prince share a kiss. sae can only watch. he tries to ignore the burning void in his chest, or the tears welling up in his eyes that feels like a beehive stinging him. it’ll be fine. right?

when the ceremony ends and you head back to your room, theres a note left on your bed. you unfold it underneath your fingertips. “i love you too. burn this paper after you’ve read it. — s.”

you kept the note in your pillow until your last breath, even if sae wasn’t the one to keep you company to do so.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Since your Invincible requests are open, I think this is a good time to request for Shapesmith?? N/SFW hcs maybe, or a smut fic are ideas to start, but you can do either!! I don't think it matters what the reader is, if you want to base off another character, and trans or amab reader is fine - but leaning towards trans

Shapesmith nsfw alphabet 

Hiii, I felt inspired to cook up an alphabet for the shapesmith, so I hope yall enjoy. 

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) 

I feel that Martians have kind of different rules and ways when it comes to being intimate, so aftercare would first be something he saw purpose in, when he started dating a human. Thats when he realized how good the aftercare itself felt, so even if he doesn't need it the same way you do, he still spends a lot of time on it. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

I don't think Shapesmith has a favorite part of his own body since he can just... change it at will. It sounds cheesy, but I see him as the kind of guy who's obsessed with pretty much every part of his partner. Them not being able to shapeshift and always being just themselves would be so hot and attractive to him. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) 

Martian cum has a strange consistency, like elmers glue. Its thicker, gloopy, and kinda sticky. It's difficult to swallow cuz your body just wants to reject it. I can see Shapesmith liking yours a lot more, and he always swallows since he has no challenge with deepthroating and alike. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 

Before you guys started dating, and sometimes when he's alone, Shapesmith shapeshifts into you and gets off, imagining its him doing it to you. He also stumbled upon adult content and just watched that and nothing else for like, a month. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) 

Not very experienced at all, especially with humans. I get a feeling he wasn't too popular amongst martians either. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) 

Honestly? Any. Hes just happy to be here and be involved. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) 

Shapesmith is goofy in general, and he wouldnt take it as seriously as expected in human culture, since well, hes not human. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) 

Hes completely smooth, the only place he's got hair on his body is his head and eyebrows, as he sees no need for it anywhere else. If you were into it shapesmith would alter his body to have it though. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) 

I think he can get embarrassingly sappy and romantic, like eyes almost heart shaped as he coos and kisses you all over. He seems to be the kinda guy who starts giggling whenever you say you love him. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) 

He doesn't really. Shapesmith doesn't have much need for it when hes alone, especially when he can just save it for you. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) 

Honestly, I dont imagine he has anything specific hes REALLY into, like i mentioned, hes happy to be here and happy to be involved. Hes also not held back by a lot of societies rules, so hes not scared of trying stuff. Like, sure, he can put on panties, he can do watersports, he can wear pup gear, hes enjoys it because you enjoy it. With time, as he involves himself more and more, he might develop some preferences though. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) 

Could do it anywhere, any time. He doesn't really care much that you guys are in public, if you guys are in love and wanna do it, why not? His all-time favorite place is in your bed though, since he gets to be so close to you and so intimate. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) 

You and anything you do. There are times where you have to spell it out to him though. For some reason I can imagine he gets really hot and bothered by seeing your naked body, even if it's just after a shower. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) 

Doesn't do threesomes. Yes, someone as cute as shapesmith can get jealous and insecure. I also think he would just be “why do we need anyone else when we love each other and i can be anything you need babe?” 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 

Prefers giving, as it makes him feel worthy and loved. Plus, hes got no gag reflex, a tongue that can twist and turn any which way, and he just loves swallowing what you have to give him. Hes not nothing against receiving and likes it as much as the next guy, but giving it to you makes him happier. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

He seems to type to set a quick pace, but hes not overly rough unless you guys are in that kinda mood. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) 

Big fan of them, you guys being intimate is just another sign of your love, so of course you guys do quickies every now and then. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 

Like I mentioned, Shapesmith is happy to be here, happy to be involved. Hes happy to give anything a try at least once, especially if he sees its something you like, so hes willing to experiment. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) 

Hes got great stamina, nothing like a viltrumite or even the immortal, but hes got a lot of energy. You can still succeed in wearing him out as a normal human though. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 

I dont think he personally owns any, why bother when he can just be whatever he needs himself. But if you got any then yeah, he will use them sometimes. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) 

He wouldnt be much of a tease in the beginning, since he doesnt realize the game. Then you guys would have dated for a while, and he realizes how fun it is when you tease him, and he teases you. Being a shapeshifter truly is helpful for this, so watch out for when hes feeling extra affectionate. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

Hes loud in just about anything he does, and this too. You know hes getting close when he starts getting quiet and whimpering and huffing. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) 

Will sometimes shapeshift into animals to just hang out and not have to bother with human rules. He struggles to understand a lot of earths unspoken rules and deals, he also struggles with sarcasm and lies. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 

He can be any size and thickness you want baby, all you gotta do is ask. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) 

Its not super high, and Shapesmith only really truly feels it when hes with you or thinking about you. I can see it becoming stronger if hes stressed though. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) 

Falls asleep almost immediately after, especially if you have succeeded in wearing him out. You gotta be quick to do clean up, since he wraps around you and doesn't let you move the rest of the night. 

[0-n-1-x]

Hellooo! Could you write something about carl gallagher dating a girl who has a protective older brother like mickey milkovich ??? Thanks ✨

Carl Gallagher x Protective Older Brother!Reader

link to my masterlist <33

The first time Carl meets your older brother, the tension is palpable. Your brother, much like Mickey, is rough around the edges, fiercely protective, and not easily impressed. He sizes Carl up immediately, making it clear that he’ll be watching every move Carl makes.

Your brother makes it his mission to keep a close eye on Carl, showing up unexpectedly or making pointed comments about how Carl should treat you. He’s always hovering in the background, ready to step in if he feels Carl is out of line. Which you appreciate, and you know its out of love, but its annoying most of the time

Carl understands where your brother is coming from and, instead of being intimidated, he sees it as a challenge. He goes out of his way to show that he’s serious about you, whether it’s through his actions or how he treats you when your brother is around. Over time, he starts to earn your brother’s respect. He's definitely like that with Debbie's flings and sometimes Fiona, so he understands the protectiveness (even if he does NOT have the same effect on their partners)

With your brother constantly watching, you and Carl find yourselves sneaking around to get some alone time. The secrecy adds an extra layer of excitement to your relationship. Whether it’s a (not-so-quick) kiss behind closed doors or a whispered conversation in the shadows, every stolen moment feels charged with adrenaline.

Carl often sneaks over to your place late at night, long after your brother has gone to bed. You both get a thrill out of the risk, knowing that getting caught could lead to a serious confrontation. These late-night visits are filled with quiet laughter, soft whispers, and the intimacy of being together when no one else is around.

But best believe he's jumping the fence when your brother comes chasing with a bat

You and Carl become experts at crafting believable alibis. If your brother asks where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing, you’re always ready with a story that keeps suspicion at bay. Carl is unsurprisingly good at coming up with quick excuses

To avoid raising suspicion, you and Carl would probably develop a system for texting each other in code. Simple phrases or emojis take on new meanings, allowing you to communicate plans without giving anything away if your brother happens to glance at your phone. It’s a fun, secret language that only the two of you understand. Though Carl forgets every other time and you have to rework the whole system

[moonastro]

groom persona chart

mercury in the house

what is a groom persona chart? this chart exhibits qualities that your husband will have and possible placements that can be seen in their chart. it is simply a chart all about your spouse in a woman's chart. the asteroid groom can be identified using the code 5129.

mercury represents and embodies ones ability to communicate, express themselves and knowledge. in the GPC it can determine how the husband will communicate with you and how he may express himself with words and knowledge.

reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.

mercury in 1st house: the fs may speak their mind and tend to talk about themselves often even if other people dont realise it. can come across as blunt, rough and passionate when expressing themselves. can have dominant facial expressions when talking and therefore it is easy to distinguish what they are feeling or thinking because their face can really tell a picture. fs can communicate with full leader mode meaning that they may like to lead or start conversations with people. they surely know what to say and speak with confidence even if what they are saying may not be entirely true.

mercury in 2nd house: fs may come across as sensual, slow and steady with their words. can have a very aesthetically pleasing tone of voice and the style of their voice can be beautiful. this is a placement where the fs has all ears on him. can hum and whistle quite often to express themselves. usually fs can like to refer back to memories they had in the past and talk about the littlest details about it. fs communicates well in comfort places such as the home or their favourite hang out area or just somewhere that brings them peace and security.

mercury in 3rd house: the way that the fs can communicate is quite easy going and childish like. this doesn't mean anything bad but just means that when they are comfortable around you they will show their laid back personality. can aften joke around with their words and not be serious, can joke around a lot either with their actions or with their words. can be the person to speak their mind and be quite upfront with their words. may tend to speak quicker and just love chatting away with other people. fs can also communicate while changing subjects often which can be confusing at times i reckon. as the saying goes that the mind works faster than their mouth so they may be like ten conversations ahead in their head than what you may be talking about.

mercury in 4th house: often the fs can really deeply be affected by words of other people or the other way around, their words can affect others. fs can talk in a nurturing, caring and attentive form. usually their words can move others and develop trust quickly. fs can keep in contact with their relatives often and may have an attachment to his family and can be in good terms with them. fs can communicate by resonating your experiences with theirs in order for you to not feel bad or upset. they like to take things very seriously and personally so they can tend to also not lie as much. they see emotions as something serious so if you tend to joke about your feelings they may get very concerned.

mercury in 5th house: the entire vocab of your fs can be full of fun and enlighten energy, they have a way of boosting other peoples moods with their words. can tend to have luck with expressing themselves and will most likely attract attention and receive help when feeling off. fs can help people when expressing themselves and is someone who makes other people feel relatable and comfortable around them so people can usually talk freely and comfortably with your fs. fs communicates with a positive energy and that makes them have an audience and make other people just watch them speak for hours. thats how entertaining they are.

mercury in 6th house: often the way the fs can express themselves is by taking care of themselves. they aren't the ones to use much of vulgar words but often times may try to fix situations even the ones that they have no place to be involved in. can come across as neat, sensible and organised with their use of words which can usually make a lot of people understand them more. fs can communicate with lots of focus and with lots of observing so that can make them appear distracted because they are also focusing on what is going on around them.

mercury in 7th house: fs can have a soft but frank way of speaking. they tend to not lie and usually dislike liars in general. are very approachable with their speech and can attract people from their way of speaking. the fs may like to defend themselves a lot and can overthink way too much than needed. can communicate fairly and reasonably, meaning that he will give the chance for you to address your concerns as well as speak his own opinion. will try to constantly be respectable of your boundaries and not go too far.

mercury in 8th house: usually the fs can use a lot of vulgarity in their conversations and aren't afraid to address topics that may be viewed as closed off. can hold their silence well and may speak according to the vibe meaning that they can sense when it is or is not the right time to speak. fs can communicate very deeply with you and may include intense eye contact, deep attentiveness and intense responses. are really more of a listener than a speaker and will have a way for others to keep speaking. this is where manipulation can take place, they can ask lots of questions about people and yourself included which can be targeted in order for you or others to keep talking. thats how they can get a hold of secrets easily.

mercury in 9th house: the fs can speak with big words and can change their way of speaking often depending on the day. can make a person really think and wonder when they open their mouths and say something. can have a very smart way of expressing themselves and may be seen as someone who had many trials in life with the amount of maturity and wisdom they bring to the function. fs can communicate with authority and may speak with great confidence and certainty when speaking and sharing something that they are interested in. they will surely share their interests with you in a way of spreading something fun that they enjoy doing so you can have something fun to do too.

mercury in 10th house: fs will have some uncertainties when it comes to expressing themselves, they like to get to the point and not waste their time dilly dallying with their time. they can present themselves to be blunt and straightforward which can make them easily misunderstood. they tend to be more serious when they are talking and are the ones who will joke around with their actions rather than with their words. fs may take things to heart easily and be quite naïve. communication comes when is needed or rather when the surrounding is professional, but nonetheless are very good with remembering and obtaining knowledge about other people.

mercury in 11th house: fs may like talking to groups of people and tend to be confident in their speech. they like chatting with their friends and people closest to them. their way of speaking consists of being themselves Infront of others, being expressive with their hands and they tend to be ones who talk well but may not be the best at listening, they can forget easily or just dont attentively listen due to thinking about other things in their head. fs communicates irregularly and can change their way of speaking often which can make people or yourself think that it is your fault but it is not thats just how they are.

mercury in 12th house: this is a very clear indication of your husband speaking foreign tongue which means that they can be from overseas. can be quite creative with their words and can often surprise people with their hidden or locked away knowledge. can also be very soft spoken and can rarely raise their voice unless absolutely necessary. usually fs can address the slightest things even if you are having an off day, they realise and notice the shift in energy and make sure to address it. fs communicates with feeling, illusion and attachment that can make people think that there is something between them when there's actually not and thats just how they are. can bring delusion when in fact the fs can not think anything of it and misleads others without knowing.

thank you for reading <<33

[sturniololuvz]

https://www.tumblr.com/sturniololuvz/782670591180292096/guys-my-inbox-is-empty-i-dont-know-how-to-its

can you do one where y/n is like the type of person who’s like “tough” so she doesn’t rlly express emotions much and bottles them up and say them in her notes app and like cries alone and stuff then one day she left her phone unlocked and matt saw the notes and tells nick and chris and they comfort her and stuff pls?

(based off personal experience 😭)

“The Things She Doesn’t Say”

Y/N wasn’t the type to spill her emotions out loud.

Not because she didn’t feel things — she just didn’t like being vulnerable. Growing up with three brothers, she’d quickly developed a tough exterior. Jokes instead of honesty, sarcasm instead of sadness. The only place she ever really let those feelings breathe was her Notes app.

And no one ever had to know.

Until she forgot to lock her phone.

⸻

It was a regular afternoon, everyone sprawled across the living room while Matt scrolled through his sister’s playlist on her phone. She was in the kitchen grabbing a snack, telling them to “pick something that wasn’t Nick’s terrible EDM.”

He chuckled to himself as he scrolled, waiting for Spotify to load when a notification popped up.

Reminder:

Stop pretending you’re fine. You’re not.

Matt furrowed his brows. It didn’t seem like a typical reminder. Curiosity got the best of him, and before guilt could even register, he tapped into her Notes app.

The first thing that caught his eye was the sheer number of entries.

“I don’t know how to ask for help without feeling like a burden.”

“Why does it feel like everyone would be fine without me?”

“I’m tired of pretending I’m tough when I feel like I’m falling apart.”

Matt’s chest tightened. He scrolled further and saw more—months’ worth of thoughts she’d never spoken. Anxiety about school, feeling overlooked, moments where loneliness drowned her even when she was surrounded by people who loved her.

“Everything ok?” Nick asked from across the couch.

Matt swallowed hard, locking the phone and setting it down.

“Can you guys come here for a sec?” he mumbled, his usual chill demeanor gone.

Chris raised a brow but stood up. “What’s up?”

Matt glanced toward the kitchen. Y/N was laughing to herself as she rummaged through the pantry, completely unaware.

“I just saw something on her phone,” Matt said quietly. “She’s been… holding in a lot of stuff. Like—a lot.”

Nick’s expression shifted immediately, worry replacing confusion. “What do you mean?”

“She’s not okay, dude,” Matt said, keeping his voice low. “She’s been bottling everything up.”

Chris’s jaw clenched, guilt creeping in. “Why didn’t she tell us?”

“We never really give her the space to,” Nick said softly. “She always acts tough, so we just… assumed she was fine.”

The realization hit all of them at once.

She wasn’t fine.

And no one noticed.

⸻

When Y/N walked back into the living room with chips in hand, she froze at the sight of her brothers’ serious faces.

“What?” she asked, an uneasy laugh bubbling up. “Why do you guys look like someone died?”

“Come here for a sec?” Matt said gently.

Her walls went up immediately, fake nonchalance creeping in. “Why? Did Chris finally break something expensive?”

“No,” Chris said softly, shaking his head. “This isn’t about us.”

Nick patted the spot next to him on the couch. “We need to talk about you.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped, her defenses scrambling into place. “I’m fine. Seriously, what’s—”

“We know you’re not,” Matt cut in gently. “I saw the notes on your phone.”

Her breath caught in her throat. The panic hit immediately—her face flushing, her mind already spinning with excuses.

“I—those are just random thoughts,” she muttered, trying to laugh it off. “It’s not a big—”

“It is a big deal,” Chris said, eyes softer than she’d ever seen. “You’re carrying all of that by yourself.”

Her chest tightened as tears pricked her eyes, the weight of everything she hadn’t said crashing over her.

“I didn’t want to bother you guys,” she whispered, voice cracking despite her best efforts. “I didn’t want to feel… weak.”

Matt pulled her into a hug before she could stop the tears from falling.

“Feeling things doesn’t make you weak,” he murmured, rubbing her back. “You don’t have to be tough all the time. Not with us.”

Nick rested a hand on her leg, his usual teasing replaced with concern. “You’ve been taking care of yourself quietly for too long. Let us take care of you for once, yeah?”

Chris leaned into the group hug, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re never a burden—ever. I’m sorry we made you feel like you had to keep it all in.”

Her tears finally slipped free as she buried her face into Matt’s hoodie, the weight she’d been carrying alone for so long crashing down in the safety of her brothers’ arms.

For once, she didn’t have to be “the tough one.”

For once, she let herself be seen.

And they made sure she knew, without a doubt, that they would always be there for her—no matter how loud or quiet her struggles were.

⸻

[escapist-of-fiction]

One shot - Troy Otto x Fem Reader

Description - just a bit of fluff really. Something that has been floating in my head for a while and needed to write it down. Troy is a bit of a tease in this but I like him like that.

Warnings - none really. Mild swearing.

If you do read, a like, reblog and/or a comment would make me smile :) enjoy!

‐-------------

It had become abundantly apparent to everyone that something was developing between you and Troy.

There was something about the way he looked at you from across the room, never intrusive but always keeping one eye closely on you, watching your every move. You didn't mind though. It made you feel safe. You didn't feel so alone in the crowd.

Every chance Troy had; loading supplies from the trucks, collecting empty dishes at meal times, showing you how to hold a gun in the right way to defend yourself, any excuse to have just a little bit of contact with you. You didn't mind. You wanted him to do it. Your skin tingled at his touch. If he stood close to you, you would hold your breath without even realising. It was just the effect he had on you. In a group situation, he would always somehow find his way next to you, by now it was almost an expectation.

You wondered how long it would take for him to make a move. It had taken so long that you were unsure whether it was all in your mind and he had no interest in you at all.

"You can see it, can't you?" Alicia said one day as you sat together at lunch.

"See what?" You responded innocently.

You needed someone else to spell it out to you. To make it seem real. It seemed too good to be true in your own mind. After all, why would someone as complex as Troy be interested in someone as basic as you?

"Troy. There's something about you two. The way he is around you, it's like you're precious cargo or something. He speaks to you so differently to everyone else, with a whole new level of respect. He doesn't even speak like that to Jake, his own brother."

You didn't know how to respond to this, so you decided not to say anything at all.

On the day the Militia headed out on their short mission, you stood with everyone else at the gates. Going on missions was a weekly occurrence in the post-apocalyptic world but today everyone seemed a little on edge. Everyone except Troy.

You stood a little away from the small gathering, leaning against a table where supplies were piled up high. You watched as Troy fooled around with some of the Militia members, his trusted and closest comrades obviously. He wasn't normally this way before a mission, which made you think it was a little more serious than the average. He was trying to put everyone at ease. Rumours had been going around the Ranch that you were heading out to confront another group, who were threatening to steal water supplies. It wouldn't be an easy mission and lives were potentially at risk.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't notice someone pick up a box beside you, until their voice brought you back to reality.

"You aren't normally here to see us off," Troy noted.

"I'm surprised you would even notice," you answered with the tiniest of smiles, watching for his reaction.

"Dont worry, I notice."

You watched as he walked towards the truck and placed the final box in the back, hitting the side panel to signal to the group that they were ready to go.

You expected Troy to climb into the driver's seat as normal, rev the engine, turn up his heavy metal music and speed out of the Ranch, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake. But not this time.

This time, he turned and walked back in the direction of you. You lifted your head to look up at him as he got closer and closer, until he was stood toe to toe with you. He had a look on his face, a mixture of uncertainty and, was that yearning?

You were perplexed by Troy's actions and you were just about question his odd behaviour when he suddenly grabbed you by the waist and....kissed you.

The briefest of kisses that lasted long enough to make your head spin, your toes curl and heart race all at once. It stunned you but made sense to you all at once. You felt Troy's hand press firmly into the small of your back to pull you against him as his other hand gently caressed your cheek.

Then no sooner had it started, it stopped and Troy pulled away. No explanation. No second glance as he turned and walked back towards the truck and the waiting Militia.

You stood there in shock, your fingers reaching to your lips to trace the echo of his touch.

What the hell was that?

Five days passed until Troy and the Militia returned.

Five days for you to mull over your encounter and ask yourself a million questions. You flitted from the feeling of lusting after Troy and more from that kiss, to being filled with a mild rage at how the bastard had acted in such an impulsive way and walked right out of the Ranch with no explanation.

By the time they returned, you had made up your mind on what to do next.

You never normally gathered with the others at the gate but this time was different. This time you had a reason to stand amongst the friends and family. You wanted Troy to know he had left someone behind. Someone who cared about him, his reckless behaviour and the consequences that came with it.

You watched him exit the truck last of all. He looked tired and weary, having been on the road with little to no sleep and carrying the responsibility of everyone's safety on his shoulders. There was a part of you that wanted to rush to him, embrace him but something made you hold back and wait.

Eventually, Troy looked up and spotted you, his eyes lighting up as they met with yours. You gave nothing away. He approached you, watching your expression tentatively, wondering how you were going to react since your last encounter. He took the fact you were here at all as a good sign.

Coming to stand in front of you, he rested his hands on his hips and tilted his head with a cocky smile.

Words were lost on you. You tried to think of something smart to say, to chastise him for what he did the last time you saw each other but you just kept losing your train of thought in those azure, blue eyes.

Instead, you communicated in the only way you both knew how.

Stepping forward and rising to the balls of your feet, you placed a hand on the back of Troy's neck and pulled him down to meet you.

Your lips pressed firmly against his. A kiss almost sweeter than the first, full of promise and something that you couldn't quite describe but you knew you needed more of it.

Reluctantly, you pulled away to look up at Troy, your hands pressed against his chest. Judging by the hazy look in his eye and the delectable way he licked his lips, it told you everything you needed to know. He felt exactly the same way.

And then, just like that, you found your voice again,

"Hi."

Troy laughed softly,

"Well it took you long enough, darling"

[nayiana0]

Quiet Until You | 7

⋮ ⌗ ┆analysis : you had everything under control—your grades, your goals, your walls. but when Choi San, the school’s troublemaker, gets assigned the seat beside you .. control is the first thing to go. he talks too much. smirks too often. And somehow, when detention throws you two into each other’s orbit for real, the tension gets harder to ignore—and so do the feelings. she was quiet. until him.

⋮ ⌗ ┆ genre : slow burn, fluff/angst, romance, enemies to lovers.

⋮ ⌗ ┆ warnings : explicit content - fingering , bathroom sex.. ect.. lots of angst.,(healed with some fluff), anxiety, healing.

wc : 11.1k.

a/n : crazy bathroom scene all i can say is WOW and then we hit that awkward little distance right after?? because feelings?? accountability?? yeah we’re growing now. slowly but surely. character development is in the air AND we're finally starting to introduce new ppl from here yayy im really enjoying writing this thanks for reading!!

also if theres any mistakes sorryy

══════════════════════ ✧. ┊⋆ ★

*Chapter 7: Don't Ruin This**

You’re curled up on the end of San’s bed, half-scrolling through your phone, half-listening to him mumble something under his breath while fixing his speakers for the tenth time today. The bass kicks, then cuts off. Again.

You don’t even look up when your phone buzzes—until it buzzes again. And again.

It’s Rina.

Rina: i KNOW ur at eli’s Rina: but listen Rina: party tonight. jacksons’ place. Rina: bring ur boyfriend or ill unfriend you Rina: im serious

You smirk, tapping out a response.

You: he’s not my boyfriend anymore yk this Rina: yet You: shut uppp Rina: 10pm. dont be late

You toss your phone onto the bed and look up. “Hey.”

San’s crouched on the floor, sleeves rolled up, a speaker wire in his mouth for some reason. “Mm?”

“There’s a party tonight.”

He spits the wire out. “Whose?”

“Jackson's.”

He raises a brow, stands, and stretches. “That guy who always wears turtlenecks in the summer?”

“That’s the one.”

He groans playfully. “Alright, I’m listening. What’s the occasion?”

You shrug. “It’s Rina. She probably made one up.”

He smirks. “And she wants us there?”

“Specifically said bring your boyfriend.”

San blinks. “Wow. She’s bold.”

“She’s not wrong.”

He pauses, eyes on yours, just for a second too long. Then he clears his throat, scratches the back of his neck. “So… uhh.. are we going?”

You stretch your legs, pretending to be casual. “Only if you wear that black shirt I like.”

His lips twitch. “Thought you said I wasn’t your boyfriend.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t request a little eye candy.”

He chuckles, walking over to his closet. “You’re lucky I look good in everything.”

You roll your eyes. “You're so delusional.”

He throws a pillow at you without turning around.

While he’s picking out his outfit, you grab your phone again and text Rina.

You: we’re coming 😮‍💨 Rina: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Rina: pls look hot i’m begging You: lol always do

When he returns, dressed halfway—shirt unbuttoned, sleeves still rolled up—he grabs his keys and says, “Alright. Let’s get you home so you can pick something dangerously hot to wear.”

You give him a look. “Dangerously hot?”

“I plan on driving you and getting jealous of everyone else seeing you. It’s only fair,” he says, holding the door open with a smug grin.

You roll your eyes, cheeks warm. “Shut up and drive.”

He chuckles, tossing you the aux cord as you both head down the stairs. “You pick the vibe. Just don’t blame me when I crash the car looking at you too long.”

—

San parallel parks like it’s a competitive sport, one hand on the wheel and the other lazily resting on your thigh like it belongs there. He throws the car in park and glances over at you, grinning.

The second you’re inside, he drops onto the edge of your bed with a dramatic sigh, legs spread, arms back, like he’s trying to take up all the space.

He watches you move toward your closet, eyes following every little thing like he's got no plans to look away.

"You're not wearing that to the party, are you?" San's voice was a blend of amusement and disbelief. You looked down at your outfit, a simple crop top and pants that had seen better days.

"What? It's comfortable," you protested, a hint of a smile playing on your lips.

"You're beautiful, but this isn't going to cut it. Not for tonight." His eyes sparkled with mischief as he rummaged through your closet, tossing outfits onto the bed.

Your phone buzzed, it was Rina telling you to hurry up. "Looks like we're out of time," you sighed, grabbing the first dress that caught your eye. It was tight, short, and a color that made your skin glow. "Fine. Happy?"

San stepped back, giving you an appraising look. "Perfect," he murmured. "Now, let's go make an entrance."

—

The party was in full swing when you arrived, the bass thumping through the walls. The air was thick with the smell of alcohol and the chatter of a hundred voices. You clung to San's hand as he led you through the crowded room, feeling the heat from the bodies around you.

"Let's play a game," he suggested, nodding towards a group huddled around a table. But when you got there, you saw the look of disappointment in his eyes. There wasn't an empty seat to be found.

"It's fine," you said, but he was already scanning the room. "There's nowhere to sit."

Without missing a beat, he said, "You can sit on my lap." He grinned, and you found yourself nodding in agreement. 

You settled onto his knees, the warmth of his body seeping into you. The game began, and you were soon lost in the laughter.

But then, you felt something else. Something that you couldn’t ignore pressing against your thigh. You glanced at San, and his eyes met yours.

The atmosphere shifted, charged with an electricity that made your heart race. He whispered something into your ear, his voice low and urgent.

"I'll be right back," he said, standing up. 

You watched as he made his way through the crowd, his hand still lingering on your arm. You barely could hear what he was saying over the noise of the party, but you knew you had to follow him.

As he disappeared into the bathroom, you took a deep breath and counted to five. 

1 2 3 4 5

Then, you stood up and followed him. The music grew fainter as you approached the bathroom door, the only sound the beat of your own heart.

You pushed it open and stepped inside.

San was waiting, his back to you, the room spinning slightly from the dim light and the anticipation. He turned, and before you could say a word, his lips were on yours. 

His hands found your waist, lifting you onto the counter with surprising strength. The coolness of the bathroom counter sent a shiver down your spine, and you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer.

His whispers were hot against your skin, “You’re so beautiful” he said and you felt yourself blushing.

His hands roamed over your body, exploring every curve, every inch of your skin, as if he was trying to memorize the feel of you.

"Relax," he murmured, his voice a soothing caress. His hand drifted under your dress, and you gasped as his fingers grazed the edge of your panties. 

The fabric was already damp with your arousal. He groaned into your mouth, the sound sending a thrill through your body. He broke the kiss just long enough to whisper, "You're so wet for me."

You gasped as his fingers found your clit, the sensation sending shockwaves through your body. "Let me take care of you." His touch was feather-light, teasing, making you squirm.

And then, with a gentle tug, your panties were pushed aside, and his fingers slid inside you. Your eyes rolled back, and you bit your lip to keep from crying out. 

The sensation was overwhelming, his touch sending waves of pleasure through you.

You had no idea where this was leading, but you didn't care. You were his, and he was yours, in this moment of passion amidst the chaos of the party.

San's eyes never left yours, watching as your pupils dilated with each stroke. He knew exactly what he was doing, his thumb circling your clit while his two fingers curled upwards, reaching for that sweet spot deep inside you. 

"More," you moaned, arching into his touch. 

His fingers grew bolder, stroking and teasing until you were panting, your hips rising to meet his hand.

"Come for me," he whispered, his voice a dark, seductive command that sent you spiraling over the edge.

He watched your reactions, the way your breath hitched, and your body tensed up.

"San–fuck–I cant–," you moaned, your voice muffled by his hand.

His eyes darkened with desire, and he whispered, "You can take it, baby. Just let go."

He was right, you could feel yourself reaching the brink of your orgasm. You tightened your legs around his waist, urging him closer.

“San,” you whispered.

"That's it," he murmured, his voice a gentle coax. "Let go, baby." And you did, completely. 

Suddenly, his movements grew more intense, his eyes never leaving yours. He found your G-spot, and your whole body jolted. 

You were so close, your breaths coming in short gasps. His fingers moved faster, the sound of them disappearing into your wetness echoing in the small bathroom. "San," you whimpered, your nails digging into his shoulders.

 "I want all of you." And with that, he slid down your body, his mouth finding your center. His tongue was warm and insistent, tasting you, savoring you.

The world around you seemed to fade away as he continued, the pressure building until you couldn't hold it back any longer.

You threw your head back, and a scream almost tore from your throat as your body convulsed with pleasure. 

San's hand shot up to cover your mouth, stifling the sound as you came, your legs shaking with the force of your orgasm.

He held you there, his eyes never leaving yours, as your body pulsed around him. It was almost too much to handle, but you didn't want it to end. His touch grew softer, more gentle, as he felt your climax begin to subside.

When you finally caught your breath, you looked at him, a mix of surprise and satisfaction on your face. 

He smiled, his own arousal clear through his pants. "I want more," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. And in that moment, you knew you'd give him everything.

But as your legs trembled against his body, you whispered, "I need a break. I-I can’t take anymore" It wasn't a rejection, just you admitting to the overwhelming sensation passing through you.

San shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours, "You can," he assured you, his voice a soothing balm. "You can take it all, baby." and kissed a trail down your neck. 

He could feel your heart hammering against his mouth as he reached your breasts, teasing your nipples through the fabric of your dress.

Keeping his eyes on yours, and without breaking contact, he effortlessly lifted you into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms tight around his neck, face in his neck, and you felt his hardness press against your center. 

You thought he'd give you the break you'd requested, but instead, he reached down and pulled his cock out of his pants. It was thick and heavy, the tip glistening with precum. 

You stared at it, your eyes wide, as he positioned himself, your body already preparing for him. "San, I can't," you whispered, but his only response was to lean in and kiss you again, his tongue delving deep into your mouth.

And then, without warning, he slipped inside of you. You gasped as he filled you up, your legs shaking as you took his length. The suddenness of it was almost too much, but the pleasure was intense, making your toes curl. 

He didn't stop, didn't give you a chance to adjust. He just held you there, his hands gripping your hips as he began to move, his kisses growing more desperate with each stroke.

You felt the walls of the bathroom cool against your back as he pushed into you, hard and deep. 

His hand muffled the sound of your moans, mixing with the music from the party outside. 

The sensation of him inside you was intense, the feeling of fullness and desire threatening to consume you entirely.

“You’re doing so good,” he whispered in your ear, “You okay?”

You nod, lips parted, barely able to speak.

“Use your words, baby.”

“I’m good. I just—” You swallow.

And then he slammed into you, not even letting you finish your sentence, the sound of your bodies colliding echoing in the small space. 

You could feel yourself getting closer, the pressure building once again. "Don't stop, please" you begged, your voice barely a whisper. 

And he didn't. He thrusts harder, faster, his own whimpers becoming louder, until you were both lost in the moment, stumbling on the edge.

You felt the second orgasm crash over you, even more intense than the first. San followed you over the edge, his body tensing as he came, filling you up with his warmth. He held you there, inside of you, as you both rode the waves of pleasure.

When it was over, you slumped against him, boneless and satisfied. He rubbed your back gently, his eyes filled with love. "You're mine," he whispered into your ear, “All mine,” and you had no doubt that it was true.

He slipped out of you, his cock glistening with your arousal. He chuckled softly, a teasing flicker in his eye as he set you down gently on wobbly legs. "You were being pretty loud," he said, his voice a mix of affection and amusement. You felt your cheeks heat up, remembering your cries of pleasure.

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your swollen lips, and whispered, "But, the way you took it all, the way your body responded to me... it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard." 

With tender strokes, he began to clean you up, using a warm cloth to wipe away any evidence of what had just happened. 

His touch was gentle, careful, as if he was worshipping your body. You watched him through half-lidded eyes, feeling a sense of belonging that was hard to avoid.

He tossed the cloth aside and pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms strong and reassuring around you. 

"I can't get enough of you," he murmured into your hair, his voice filled with a raw need that made your heart race. You knew he meant it, and that knowledge was intoxicating.

Pulling back slightly, he kissed your forehead, his eyes searching yours. "Ready to go back out there?" he asked. 

You nodded, feeling a strange mix of excitement and a bit of anxiety. You'd just had the most intense sexual experience of your life in a bathroom at a crowded party, and now you had to face everyone with a secret smile on your face.

He grabbed your hand and led you out, but as you stepped out,

Rina was there, her eyes wide and curious. "What the fuck happened in there?" she yelled over the music, a look of curiosity spreading across her face.

You blushed, feeling the heat of San's gaze on you. He chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist. "We had a little... accident," he said, his voice filled with a smug satisfaction that had you rolling your eyes. "I'll tell you about it later," you whispered.

Rina winked at you, her gaze flicking down to your disheveled state and back up to your flushed cheeks. "An accident?," she said, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. 

But she didn't push, instead grabbing two drinks from a passing tray and handing one to each of you. "Cheers to ‘accidents’," she said, clinking her glass against yours.

The rest of the night was a blur of laughter, music, and stolen glances.

Every time you felt his hand on you, whether it was a gentle squeeze of your thigh or a possessive grab of your ass, you felt a jolt of desire shoot through you. 

And every time you caught his eye, you knew he was thinking about the bathroom, about what he'd done to you and what you'd done to him.

It was a secret that only the two of you shared, a secret that had bonded you in a way nothing else ever could.

But as the night grew late and the party began to wind down, you found yourself looking around the room with a sense of melancholy.

You didn't want this to end, didn't want to go back to the reality of your life. You wanted to stay here, forever wrapped up in this world of passion and desire that you'd found with San.

But all good things must come to an end, and as the last guests stumbled out, you knew it was time to go. San leaned in, whispering in your ear, "Let me take you home." And with those words, he led you out of the party and into the night.

—

The silence in the car is so loud, it’s almost unbearable.

Was this just a one-night stand, or was it the start of you two starting something again?

You stole glances at him as he drove, his focus on the road firm. 

San’s hands are gripping the wheel tighter than usual, knuckles faintly white against the leather. The only sound is the soft hum of the engine and your heartbeat thumping in your ears like it’s trying to remind you something just happened.

You sit in the passenger seat, arms crossed over your chest, staring straight ahead. Your mind’s reeling—replaying the way he looked at you just minutes ago, the way his breath hitched, the heat of his hands on your waist, the way you felt when he was inside you, the way you both crossed a line without saying a single word about it.

It’s quiet for a beat too long before you finally ask, 

"Are we okay?" you finally asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

San's gaze flicked to you briefly before returning to the road. "Okay?" He echoed, his tone low and gruff. "Yeah, we're more than okay." His hand reached out to squeeze your thigh reassuringly. "Tonight was... intense."

You swallowed hard, the heat from his touch searing through your skin. "Yeah," you managed to reply. "But, I mean, are we good? Like, after the party?"

He took a deep breath, his knuckles whitening on the steering wheel. "Look," he began, his voice earnest. "What happened between us tonight, it wasn't just about the party. It was about us, about what we've been building."

He then taps the steering wheel with his thumb, jaw tight. “I’m just—trying to figure out if that meant anything to you or if I’m insane for thinking it did.”

The car goes still again.

You swallow hard. “Of course it meant something.”

He turns toward you at a red light, the streetlamps casting shadows across his face. “Then why do you look like you want to disappear?”

You drop your gaze, fingers fiddling with the hem of your dress. “Because.. I’ve never done anything like that before, at a party, in a bathroom. It’s just... a lot to process, you know?”

He breathes in slowly, nods once. “I get it.”

A pause. His knuckles flex on the wheel again.

“But I’d be lying if I said I regret it.”

Your breath catches.

You stare at the road ahead. “I don’t regret it either.”

It’s quiet again, but this time it’s different. He exhales slowly, like he’s releasing something that’s been pressing down on him. His voice softens.

"But we can take it slow," he says, his voice soothing. "Whatever you're comfortable with."

You nod, feeling a weight lifted from your shoulders. "I just don't want things to get messed up again.”

San squeezes your thigh. "Neither do I, but I promise you, I'm not going anywhere."

There's a brief silence as he pulls up in front of your house and then he says.

“Can I walk you up?”

You think about it. About everything that’s happened. About what it could mean if you say yes.

You glance at him.

“Yeah. You can.”

And that’s enough for now.

—

After everything that happened that night — the chaos, the tension, the party, the quiet car ride home — you’re finally in your room. The moment your back hits the mattress, you groan into the pillow.

San’s standing near the door, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck like he doesn’t know if he should leave or sit on the floor or maybe just combust right there. You peek up at him through sleepy eyes.

“Are you gonna just stand there and watch me fall asleep?” you mumble, voice muffled by your comforter.

He gives a quiet laugh. “I was gonna leave. Let you get some rest.”

You shift, rolling onto your side to face him fully. “Noo… don’t leave yet.”

He pauses, lips parted, surprised at how small your voice sounded — like the night wore you down just as much as it wore him out. You give him a half-hearted pout, then reach a hand out toward him like a sleepy toddler begging for five more minutes.

“Just... stay a little.”

San hesitates only for a moment before crossing the room. He sits down at the edge of the bed, then lets out a soft sigh as you scoot closer to him, resting your head against his side.

“You’re really tired,” he says gently, brushing some hair from your face.

“Yeah,” you whisper, your eyes fluttering closed. “But I feel better with you here.”

Your voice is so quiet it almost disappears into the room, but he hears it. Every word.

He shifts carefully, lying back on the bed next to you — not under the covers, just hovering close enough to keep you safe. He keeps one arm under his head, the other resting across your waist as your hand slides across his chest like it belongs there.

“Just for a little,” he murmurs.

But neither of you moves. Not for a long time.

Eventually, your breathing evens out and he watches your chest rise and fall slowly, your face soft and peaceful. 

He swallows hard, like there’s something stuck in his throat — some emotion he isn’t ready to say out loud yet.

He leans down just a little and whispers against your hair:

“I’m not going anywhere.”

And for the first time in a while, everything feels quiet.

Safe.

—-

The next thing you know, you’re jolted awake by the sun peeking through the curtains. You blink a few times, squinting in the light, and realize you’re still in your party dress — the same one that had been pushed up around your waist hours ago in the shower. Your cheek is pressed against something warm and hard. San’s chest.

You sit up slowly, the fabric of the dress sticking to your skin. He’s asleep, one hand on your hip, the other curled loosely around your back. His breathing is deep and even, his eyes closed.

You look down at his hand, the way his fingers curl around the fabric, and you wonder what the hell is going on. 

Was that all real? Did you actually just have the best sex of your life in a crowded party bathroom and then come back here and fall asleep with him in your bed?

You take a deep breath and lean back against the headboard, watching him sleep. 

The room is quiet except for the sound of his breathing and the distant chirping of birds outside. You can’t remember the last time you felt this alive.

But then, as you shift, trying to get comfortable, you wince. Every muscle in your body feels like it’s been stretched to its limit. You’re sore in places you didn’t even know existed. You touch your throat gently, the skin sensitive from where he was kissing you all over.

You’re sore, yes, but in a deliciously good way. It’s a reminder of the night before, of his hands on you, his mouth on you, his body inside you. You bite your lip, feeling the butterflies in your stomach.

You groaned and rolled over, “Oh my god,” you mutter, barely above a whisper, blinking at the ceiling. “I’m sore.”

From beside you, you hear the soft rustle of sheets and a familiar sleepy grumble.

“Mm?” San’s voice is rough and low from sleep, the kind that scrapes at your skin in the best way. “You good?”

You nod, then shake your head, then nod again. “Yeah, I’m good. Just... sore.” You wince as you sit up, the fabric of your dress sticking to your skin.

He chuckled, leaning in to kiss you gently. "It’s not my fault," he said, his voice low and filled with amusement. "You were like, 'harder, harder,' the entire time. I genuinely didn't know you had it in you." 

The memory of your desperate pleas echoed in your mind, making you blush even more.

San's hand drifted down to your waist, his touch light but electric. "But seriously," he said, his smile fading into concern. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" You shook your head, the soreness feeling almost like a badge of honor.

"No, I'm fine," you assured him. "Just a little..." you groaned as you tried to move your legs to show that you were “fine.”

He winced at that, his expression turning serious. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his thumb stroking your skin in a soothing pattern. "I didn't mean to be so rough." 

But you could see the excitement in his eyes, the thrill of knowing he'd been the one to leave you feeling this way.

"It's okay," you said, your voice still hoarse, "I–I liked it." And it was true. You had liked it, every single moment of it. 

You liked the way he took control, the way he made you feel like you could take on the world. You liked the way he looked at you, like you were the only person who mattered.

He leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear. "I'll be more gentle next time," he promised, his voice filled with a dark promise that had you squirming with anticipation.

"But just remember, when you scream for more, you're the one who's going to be walking funny the next day."

You couldn't help but laugh, the sound bubbling up from your chest. "You’re annoying," you said, snuggling closer to him. 

And as you laid there, the warmth of his body surrounding you, you knew that you were exactly where you were meant to be.

You shifted a bit and felt the soreness again.. “Ugh, I need a warm bath. And Advil.”

“I can get you both,” he offers, already starting to push the blanket off himself. “You stay. I’ll run the bath, bring the meds, and then you can keep pretending like you hate me.”

You flop back into the pillows dramatically. “Oh, I do hate you. But you’re kind of useful when I’m injured, so…”

He pauses at the edge of the bed, looking back at you with a small grin. “So I’m your personal nurse now?”

“More like my villain with occasional acts of kindness.”

He leans down, hands braced on either side of your face, eyes locked with yours. “You keep calling me the villain,” he murmurs, voice low. “But you’re the one who said, ‘don’t leave,’ remember?”

Your breath catches just a little, and your fingers curl into the sheets.

He doesn’t kiss you — not yet. He just brushes his nose against yours, close enough to feel it, then pulls away with a teasing smile.

“I’ll go run your bath now.”

You laugh, the sound a little shaky, and watch as he slides out of bed. The sight of him in the early morning light, shirtless and the muscles of his back and shoulders ripple as he moves. 

And just like that, he’s gone.

—

The bath helped.

Kind of. You’re still moving like someone’s grandma, but at least you don’t want to cry every time you stand up. San made a smug comment about “taking care of you” and you threatened to drown him in your lavender body wash.

Now, your house smells like eggs, toast, and something vaguely cinnamon-y. Your kitchen isn’t big, but he somehow makes it feel lived-in, natural. He’s wearing sweatpants, your pink fuzzy socks (because he couldn’t find his own), and your “That’s Hot” Paris Hilton mug is in his hand like it’s always belonged there.

You hobble into the kitchen and lean against the counter.

He glances over his shoulder, smiling. “You alive?”

“Barely,” you mutter, crossing your arms. “What is that? It smells good.”

“French toast,” he says, proud. “And scrambled eggs. And one sad slice of avocado that I tried to make look fancy but... yeah. No promises.”

You blink. “You made me French toast?”

“I made us French toast,” he corrects, placing a plate down on the little table.

You both eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, your bodies still slightly buzzing from everything that happened last night. It’s not awkward. Just... charged. Like the air knows.

After breakfast, you curl up together on the couch, his arm around your shoulder, your cheek pressed to his chest. The TV plays some tv show in the background, but neither of you are really watching it.

Then he speaks.

“I really did have fun last night,” San says softly.

You look up at him, surprised. His eyes are already on you, gentle and unreadable.

“Yeah?” you murmur, teasing lightly. “Which part?”

He rolls his eyes with a small laugh, cheeks tinting a little pink.

“You know what part,” he murmurs. 

You feel your heart thud a little harder in your chest.

“I liked it,” he continues, voice a little quieter now. “I missed us like that.”

You don’t say anything right away. 

He looks at you, his eyes dark and hungry. Then, without warning, he leans in and kisses you. 

It's a deep, possessive kiss that takes you by surprise, his tongue slipping into your mouth like he owns it. 

You taste the sweetness of the syrup on his lips, and for a moment, you melt into him, your body responding to his touch.

But as he pulls away and starts kissing you again, a nagging discomfort starts to creep in. 

You're not used to this level of affection in the morning light, especially after what happened the night before. You're not sure if you're ready for this, if you can handle the intensity of his desire.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice a low murmur against your skin as he kisses you all over, his hands roaming freely across your body. You feel a pang of guilt for not matching his enthusiasm.

You pull back slightly, looking up at him. "Nothing," you say.

He raises an eyebrow, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. "That look on your face isn't nothing," he whispers, his voice thick with unspoken promises. "Tell me whats wrong.."

You nod, unable to lie. "Its nothing, really." Your voice is a barely-there whisper, a confession in the early morning light. "It's just... a lot."

San's gaze softens, his thumb still tracing circles on your cheek. "What's a lot?," he says gently.

You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. "Everything," you admit. "Last night, the bathroom, the party, the... everything. It's just so much to take in."

He nods, his eyes never leaving yours. "I know," he says softly. "But we don't have to rush into anything, okay?"

"Then why does it feel like you are rushing this, San?" you say.

He sighs, his arms tightening around you slightly. "I'm not trying to," he says, his voice earnest. "But when I'm with you, I just want to... devour you. I can't help it."

You laugh, the sound a little forced. "That's a bit dramatic."

He smiles, leaning in to kiss you again. "But true," he murmurs. His hand slides up your thigh, under your oversized t-shirt, and your body responds immediately, heat pooling between your legs.

"San..." You say his name like a warning, but your voice is breathless.

He looks at you, his eyes dark with desire. "Hmm?"

You bite your lip, "I just... I need a minute."

San pulls back, his hand still resting on your thigh. The room is silent for a moment, the only sound the distant hum of the TV.

You can see the uncertainty in his eyes, the hope warring with the fear of rejection.

He takes a deep breath and says, “I know this is sudden, and maybe it’s too soon, but I can’t ignore how I feel about you anymore.”

He shifts his weight, his hand still resting on your thigh, his thumb tracing little circles that make you squirm. “I know last night was intense, and maybe it scared you, but it just made me realize how much I want this. How much I want you.”

“San... I—”

You want to tell him that you feel the same, that you've been craving this connection since the moment you reconnected with him again, but the words stick in your throat.

You swallow hard, trying to find the right words. "I just... I need to know that you're not going to hurt me again," you say, your voice trembling slightly. "We broke up because you cheated, and I... I don't know if I can just ignore that."

"You think that's all I am? A cheater?" He spits out the words like they're venom. "Is that all you see when you look at me?"

You flinch, his tone cutting deeper than you expected. "No, I—"

"You really think that little of me?" He stops, whipping around to face you. "You think after everything we just shared that I'm going to do that to you again?"

You look at him, feeling a knot form in your stomach. "I don't know," you admit. "I just need some time to process."

San's chest rises and falls with his heavy breaths, his eyes searching yours for any hint of understanding. "Fine," he says, his voice tight. "Take your time."

He grabs his phone off the coffee table and walks out of the room, leaving you feeling small and vulnerable on the couch. The silence that follows is deafening.

After a few moments, you hear the muffled sound of the front door closing. You take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. You knew this was a possibility, that your past with him would come back to haunt you, but you didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

—

The next day, you find yourself in class, trying to focus on the professor's lecture. But your mind keeps drifting back to the party, to the feel of his hands on your body, and the way he looked at you when he said those words. 

You can't help but feel a twinge of sadness when you realize he's not sitting next to you, not whispering sweet nothings in your ear to distract you from the boring slides.

You scan the room, searching for his huge form in the sea of students. When your eyes finally land on him, you notice he's sitting a few rows ahead, his back to you, surrounded by his friends. 

The professor drones on about the finer points of quantum mechanics, but your mind is elsewhere.

You're aware of the weight of his silence, the unspoken tension that hangs between you like a dense fog. 

Every time you shift in your seat, you expect to feel his eyes on you, but when you glance up, his gaze is firmly planted on the whiteboard, his expression unreadable.

You try to focus on the lecture, scribbling notes that make no sense, your hand shaking slightly. You feel bare and exposed without his usual banter to anchor you, the warmth of his leg pressed against yours.

Finally, you can't take it anymore. You gather your things, whispering an apology to the professor as you make your escape. Your heart pounds in your chest, your eyes searching for the familiar comfort of San's gaze. But he's not looking at you. He's staring straight ahead, his jaw set in a firm line.

You make your way to the restroom, feeling the weight of his eyes on your back like a tangible force. The coolness of the tiles under your feet is a stark contrast to the heat of the room you just left. 

You lock the stall behind you, sliding down to the floor, your breaths coming in short gasps. You're not sure if you're more upset by the argument or by the sudden distance between you.

Once you compose yourself, you return to class, but the lecture might as well be in a foreign language. You're lost in thought, trying to piece together what happened, what you said, and what you could have done differently. You can't help but feel like you've ruined something that was just getting better.

After what feels like an eternity, the class ends. You take a deep breath and make your way to the door, avoiding eye contact with San as you leave.

"Hey," he calls after you, his voice tight with unspoken words. You stop, your hand hovering over the doorknob, your heart racing.

You turn around, and he's standing in the doorway, the light from the hall casting a halo around his frame. He looks at you, his eyes searching yours for an answer. "What's wrong?" he asks, his tone softer than before.

You take a shaky breath, your eyes filling with tears. "I don't know," you admit, your voice breaking. "I just... I don't know..."

San closes the distance between you, his hand reaching for yours. "What don't you know?"

You look down at your intertwined fingers, his warmth seeping into your cold skin. "I don't know if I can do this," you murmur. "You left me in the cold again, San."

His eyes search yours, a storm of emotions brewing. "You told me you needed space," he says, his voice a hoarse whisper that echoes in the empty room.

You nod, trying to hold back the tears. "I know, I just..." You take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "I miss you."

The words hang in the air, heavy with unspoken meaning. San's eyes widen, and he takes a step closer. "Miss me?"

You nod, tears spilling over your lashes. "I miss us," you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion. "I miss feeling safe with you, feeling like I could trust you with everything. 

I miss the way you used to look at me, like I was the only thing that mattered."

San's expression softens, his hand squeezing yours. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice thick with regret. "I know I hurt you, but I've changed."

You sniffle, looking up at him. "Are you sure?"

San's eyes never leave yours. "I can't change the past," he says, his voice steady. "But I can promise you that I'll spend every day making up for it."

You bite your lip, the doubt still lingering. "How do I know you won't hurt me again?"

He steps closer, his thumb wiping away a tear that trails down your cheek. "You don't," he admits. "But I'll do everything in my power to prove to you that I've changed. That I'm not that person anymore."

You search his eyes, looking for any trace of the old San, the one who shattered your heart into a million pieces. But all you see is sincerity, raw and unfiltered. "I want to believe you," you whisper.

San nods, understanding the gravity of your words. He leans in, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm and steady. "I know you do," he says. "And I'll give you every reason to."

For a moment, you stand there, the air between you crackling with unresolved tension. Then, he pulls you into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around you so securely it feels like a cocoon. You melt into his warmth, your body fitting against his as if it were made to.

He whispers into your ear, "I'll show you, okay? I'll show you every day."

You nod, your heart hammering against his chest. This is the first step to rebuilding what was lost. 

He pulls away slightly, cupping your face in his hands. His eyes are intense, searching your face for any doubt. "I'll be there for you," he says firmly. "No matter what."

You lean into his touch, feeling the warmth of his skin against your own.

 "Okay," you murmur, the word a whispered promise.

He smiles, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Let's take it slow," he suggests, his thumb brushing away another tear. "We'll start over, build it up again."

You nod, feeling a flicker of warmth in your chest. "Okay," you murmur. "Let's try."

San's smile widens, a hint of relief in his eyes. "Good," he whispers, before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He pulls you closer, holding you tightly, as if afraid to let go.

You both stand there for a moment, the silence of the empty classroom surrounding you like a blanket. Then, with a deep breath, you pull away, wiping your eyes. "I should probably go," you murmur.

"Yeah," he agrees, his thumb still lingering on your cheek. "But can I see you tonight?"

You nod, the corners of your mouth lifting slightly. "Yeah. Why not?"

San's smile turns genuine, the tension in the air dissipating like mist under the sun. "Good," he says, his thumb tracing a path along your jawline. "How about we do something... casual tonight?"

You nod, the weight of your decision still pressing on your chest. "Yeah," you murmur, thinking of a way to ease back into the comfort of your friendship. "How about a skincare sleepover?"

San chuckles, his eyes lighting up with amusement. "A what?"

"A skincare sleepover," you repeat, your voice a bit more steady. "We can hangout, do face masks, and just... be

San's smile softens, understanding the underlying meaning of your words. "Sounds perfect," he says, his thumb still caressing your cheek. "Just you and me."

You manage a small smile, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. Maybe, just maybe, this could work. Maybe you could have him back in your life without the fear of heartache.

The rest of the day is a blur of classes and half-hearted attempts at small talk with friends. Your mind keeps drifting back to the conversation with San, his promise to be there, his willingness to take things slow.

—-

When you finally get back to your house, you find yourself eagerly preparing for the skincare sleepover. You lay out an array of masks, scrubs, and creams on your bedroom floor, creating a makeshift spa setup. The sight of it brings a genuine smile to your face. It's simple, but it feels like a step in the right direction.

San arrives right on time, a bag of snacks in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. The gesture surprises you, a sweet reminder of the thoughtfulness that once drew you to him. He looks at the spread on your bathroom floor, a smirk playing on his lips. "You weren't kidding," he says, setting down the bag and the flowers.

 "It's just... I wanted it to be nice," you explain, arranging the pillows and blankets on the floor.

"It's more than nice," he says, his eyes lingering on the flowers. "It's... sweet."

---

10 minutes later

You sat cross-legged on your bedroom floor. San sat behind you on a pillow, warily holding a pink headband.

“You expect me to wear this.”

You looked at him. “Yes.”

“Y/N, this has cat ears on it.”

You giggled. “You’ll look adorable.”

He narrowed his eyes but slipped it on anyway. “You better not take pictures.”

“No promises.”

You squirted cleanser into your hand and reached forward. “Okay, hold still.”

San leaned back, frowning. “Wait, wait, you’re not putting that on my perfectly smooth skin.”

“San—”

“I have elite skin. I don’t need—”

“Pleaaaaseee.” You crawled forward onto his lap, straddling him without thinking twice, pouting dramatically, hands on his chest. “You agreed to this. Just let me do it.”

He swallowed, hard. “Y/N—”

“Just a little. You’ll look so good. Trust me. Like glowing.”

He stared at you, trying to keep a straight face. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re stubborn.”

He sighed, finally relenting. “Okay. Fine. But not too much.”

“Yay!” You clapped your hands and gently massaged the cleanser onto his cheeks. “See? Doesn’t that feel nice?”

He winced. “It’s cold. Oh my god, it’s so cold. I feel like I’m being baptized.”

You laughed. “You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m literally shivering.”

After you wiped off the cleanser, you pulled out your favorite sheet mask and raised your brows. “Ready?”

He blinked. “What’s that?”

“Collagen + Vitamin C.”

“Are you trying to make me 16 again?”

“You’re gonna thank me in the morning.”

You pressed the mask onto his face, smoothing it down. He sat there stiffly, arms crossed.

“You look like a soggy tortilla,” you giggled.

“Glad to know I’m sexy,” he muttered under the mask.

Then you leaned in close, placing tiny cucumber slices over his eyes.

“Wait, wait—what are you doing now—Y/N—”

“Shh. It’s part of the experience.”

“I can’t see—”

You grabbed your phone and took a selfie, the flash lighting up the room. “Looks perfect for the Instagram.”

He grabbed your phone. “This is never seeing the light of day.”

“Or maybe it will be your profile picture?” You winked, trying to keep the teasing light.

He rolled his eyes. “If you want to scare off all my potential suitors, go ahead.”

You laughed, leaning into him. “I think you’re pretty irresistible, even with cucumbers on your face.”

San’s arms wrapped around you, his hands resting on your hips. “You’re so flirty.”

For a moment, the air grew thick with something unspoken. Your laughter faded into a soft smile. You could feel his breath against your neck, the warmth of his body.

“Thank you for this,” you murmured, your voice serious. “For giving us this night, for giving me a chance to trust again

San’s hands tightened slightly. “Thank you for giving me the chance to make it up to you,” he said, his voice equally soft.

You leaned back, looking into his eyes. They searched yours, looking for something. You didn’t know what it was, but you hoped he found it.

Then, he leaned in, the cucumbers falling off his face, and kissed you. It was gentle, almost, pure, but it held a world of promise in it. A promise of a future together, of a love that had survived the storm.

The kiss grew deeper, and you found yourself leaning into him, your arms wrapping around his neck, his hands moving up to cradle your face. The scent of the cucumbers mixed with his cologne, creating a strange but comforting scent that was all San.

When you finally pulled away, you both had masks on your faces, but the look in his eyes was clear. He wanted you, but he was going to wait, to prove himself to you. And maybe, just maybe, you could let yourself be loved by him again.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter, movies, and the occasional comedy of trying to get snacks without ruining your face masks.

It was the most relaxed you had felt in ages, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, you could do this. You could have him back in your life without the fear of heartache.

—

The room had gone completely still. The kind of silence that only hits after midnight—when the air is thick with the weight of sleep, and voices instinctively lower, like speaking too loudly would disturb something sacred.

You were curled into San, your head rising and falling with the steady rhythm of his breathing. His hand was tucked beneath the fabric of your shirt, fingers splayed across your lower back.

He wasn’t asleep, though. 

You could tell by the way he absentmindedly dragged his fingertips up and down your spine, pausing every now and then like he was thinking. Like there was something heavy in his mouth he wasn’t sure how to say.

“San?” you whispered into the dark.

“Mm?”

“Are you okay?”

He nodded slowly, cheek brushing the top of your head. “Yeah. Just thinkin’.”

You tilted your head up a little to look at him. His lashes fluttered, gaze unfocused, lips barely parted.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked, quieter this time. 

“Everything,” he said finally. “And nothing.”

You frowned. That didn’t sound good.

“What’s everything?”

He sighed. “This. Us. What it means.”

You swallowed, the lump in your throat suddenly thick. “And what does it mean?”

He took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling against yours. “I don’t know. I just know that I don’t want to mess it up again. I don’t want to lose you again.”

The words hit you like a soft punch to the gut. A gentle, painful reminder of the history between you two.

“You won’t,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

He tilted his head, his eyes searching yours. “How can you be so sure?”

You took a shaky inhale, your heart racing. “Because I’m here. And you’re here. And we’re...trying. That’s gotta mean something, right?”

He nodded, his thumb tracing a pattern on your back.

“I just want to make sure you’re happy, Y/N. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

The sincerity in his voice was like a warm blanket, wrapping around you and chasing away the cold.

You leaned in and kissed him softly, feeling his body relax against yours.

“I know,” you whispered. “And I am. Happy, I mean. With you here. Like this. It’s...it’s really nice.”

San’s smile was a warmth that spread through you, his eyes crinkling in the low light. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “Yeah. It’s perfect, actually.”

He leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours. “Okay. That’s all I need to hear for now. We’ll figure out the rest together, okay?”

You nodded, feeling your eyes start to droop. The comfort of his arms, the safety of his embrace, was drifting you to sleep.

—

The days turned into weeks, and the weeks quietly unfolded into a month. Somewhere along the way, things with San began to feel like breathing again—natural, unforced.

 What started as lingering glances and hesitant conversations turned into full, uninterrupted afternoons together. 

You started spending more time at his place, and him at yours. There was no need for labels or heavy conversations about “what are we.”

It was just the two of you—falling back into each other, piece by piece, like muscle memory.

The skincare sleepovers had become a ritual now. A safe little corner of the weeknd where you’d sit on your bathroom floor, clay masks on, music humming softly in the background.

He always complained about how cold the under-eye patches felt, but he never once skipped them. “For the glow,” he’d say with a wink, and you’d laugh until your stomach hurt.

One of those nights, your mom came to visit again. Your dad couldn’t come because he was on a business trip. 

Her voice lit up the space as she entered your apartment, arms already open for a hug. “I brought way too much food,” she announced dramatically, even though she always did.

She immediately noticed San’s shoes by the door.

“Oh,” she smiled, brows lifting. “He’s been here a lot lately.”

You tried to play it cool. “Yeah, he, uh… helps me carry the groceries sometimes.”

But of course, your mom was smarter than that. She just gave you that look—the one mothers give when they know everything without needing to ask.

Later that evening, she pulled you aside while San was washing dishes. “He really looks at you, you know?” she whispered, nudging you lightly. “Like he sees the whole world in you.”

You couldn’t respond at first. Because hearing someone else say it out loud—someone who didn’t even know the half of what you two had been through—made it real in a way you weren’t expecting.

You glanced toward the kitchen, where San was humming to himself, sleeves pushed up, your mom’s Tupperware stacked in a neat little tower next to him. 

And for a fleeting moment, the chaos of the last few months faded away.

Everything had changed… but in the best way.

—

Saturday night

The front door’s already open when San knocks, and he hears your mom call from the kitchen.

“San? Come in!”

You come jogging down the stairs barefoot, hair still half-damp from the shower. “She’s making us clean,” you whisper, making a face.

Your mom pokes her head out from the kitchen. “She’s lying. I just asked for help setting up the backyard—figured you two might want to sit outside instead of hiding upstairs like vampires.”

The three of you step outside with iced lemonades in hand, the sun golden and soft. 

Your mom's dragged out a bunch of old throw pillows for the patio and set up a little Bluetooth speaker that plays low jazz, and there's a plate of cut-up fruit already on the table.

“You two just sit, I’ll bring the rest of the food out,” your mom says with a wave of her hand.

San watches her with quiet admiration. “She’s amazing.”

“She raised me, so yeah,” you say, nudging him. “She's like… the calm in my storm.”

He glances at you and says softly, “You’re the storm?”

You roll your eyes with a smile. “Don’t act surprised.”

Later That Day: After Lunch

The three of you are sitting outside still, the table littered with empty plates, sun beginning to dip behind the trees. Your mom leans back in her chair and sighs. “You know, I wasn’t sure about you at first, San.”

He coughs awkwardly, sitting up straighter. “Oh…?”

She shrugs. “But I see the way she looks at you. How you talk to her. You’ve been gentle with her lately. I can see that. And if you're gonna be in her life again, I’m glad you’re choosing to show up as a better version of yourself.”

You’re quiet, eyes flicking over to him.

San swallows, genuinely moved. “Thank you. I’m… really trying.”

“I know,” she says. “Just don’t forget that trying means being consistent. Especially when things get messy.”

He nods solemnly. “I won’t.”

Later, after your mom’s gone inside and you’re left sitting in the dimming light, you lean your head on San’s shoulder.

“She’s never said anything like that to anyone before.”

San rests his head lightly on top of yours. “She believes in you.”

You pause. “And you?”

He exhales. “More than I ever have before.”

—

You’ve gone upstairs to grab something, leaving San alone in the kitchen with your mom. She’s washing a few dishes, the faucet running low and the hum of a late-night breeze moving through the screen door. It’s calm. Comfortable. Then she speaks, quietly:

“She loves you, you know.”

San looks up from his untouched glass of water, caught off guard. “…She does?”

Your mom glances over her shoulder, gives a soft smile. “I’ve known her her whole life. I know when something’s real. Even when she tries to pretend it’s not.”

San looks down at his hands, fiddling with the ring on his middle finger. “I’m trying not to mess it up this time. I don’t think I could take losing her again.”

She dries her hands and leans against the counter, watching him with quiet patience. “So what are you two now? Friends? More than that?”

Before San can answer, you come back downstairs holding your phone. “Okay, I finally found the photo of Rina in that ridiculous—”

You stop.

Your mom arches a brow. “Just wondering what you two are. Friends? Dating?”

You blink, heart skipping a beat. “We’re—”

And before you even register the intention behind your words, the truth just slips out.

“…Dating.”

San looks up at you slowly, surprised.

You freeze. “I mean—we didn’t really—um—”

But your mom just smiles. Not smug. Not judgmental. Just warm.

“It’s okay,” she says gently. “It’s good to be honest. At least with yourself.”

You glance over at San. He’s still looking at you with that open, careful expression—like he’s waiting to see if you’ll take it back.

But you don’t.

You sit down next to him and slide your hand over his, fingers intertwining naturally. Like they were always meant to fit there.

“Yeah,” you say, quieter this time. “We’re dating.”

And San smiles—wide and a little disbelieving—before ducking his head and letting out a small laugh of relief.

Your mom just exhales, softly. “Good. Now that we’ve all stopped pretending… who wants dessert?”

================================================

Two Days Later

It rained. A lot. Enough to cancel the plans you didn’t even really make.

So he came over.

You laid in your bed, Netflix low on the screen, the storm tapping lightly on your window. He laid behind you, arm loosely around your waist, tracing little circles on your side with his thumb.

“I could stay like this forever,” he murmured.

You smiled into your pillow. “You’re just saying that because it’s warm and you don’t wanna get up.”

“Also because I love you. That too.”

You turned to face him, cheeks warm. “You’re saying that again now?”

He shrugged. “I never stopped. Just… forgot how to show it.”

You tucked your head under his chin. “You’re showing it now.”

He kissed the top of your head. “Good.”

You both ended up sprawled on the couch, your mom walking in with a towel on her head, raising an eyebrow.

“Again?” she said, eyeing San’s shoes on the floor.

“Movie night,” you replied.

San waved. “Hi, Ms. Y/L/N.”

She rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. “Don’t be too loud.”

The movie had long since ended. The soft hum of the credits rolled in the background, blue light flickering over both of your faces. 

You were curled into San’s chest on the couch, the blanket pulled up to your chin, his arm draped lazily around your shoulders. His fingers were stroking your arm without really thinking.

You could tell he was getting sleepy. You could feel it in the way his chest rose slower, the way his hand moved more absentmindedly.

Then, quietly, he said it.

“I should head out soon.”

You didn’t respond at first. You just pressed your face deeper into his hoodie, like if you stayed still enough, he wouldn’t leave.

He sighed, gently brushing your hair behind your ear. “Y/N…”

“Don’t go,” you murmured, voice muffled against him.

He smiled softly. “You know I have to. I can’t crash here again, your mom probably thinks I live here by now..”

“I know,” you pouted, finally looking up at him, your lips turned down and your brows scrunched. “I just… I don’t want you to go. I don’t know, I just—when you’re here, I feel better.”

San looked down at you for a second, and something in his expression softened completely.

“Y/N…” he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours. “I feel better when I’m here too. With you.”

Your hands tightened in the fabric of his hoodie, your eyes a little glassy. “I’m being clingy, huh.”

“No,” he said immediately. “You’re being honest. And maybe a little dramatic.” He smirked gently, then kissed your cheek. “But I like it.”

You rolled your eyes and tried to hide your smile, wiping under your eye quickly before he could call you out. “You better not ditch me at school.”

He stood slowly, stretching a little. “Never. I’ll see you tomorrow. First period.”

You walked him to the door like always, but this time your steps were heavier. Your arms wrapped around yourself instinctively.

San turned back at the door, one hand already on the knob, and looked at you like he didn’t want to leave either.

Then, quietly, he said, “Come here.”

You stepped into him and he wrapped you up in the tightest hug, his hand on the back of your head, holding you like he knew you needed it.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered against your hair. “Just going home. I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise.”

You nodded into his chest, still holding onto him.

He pulled back just a little. “And if I don’t get at least two texts from you tonight, I’m showing up with a megaphone outside your window.”

You laughed, finally letting go.

“Go,” you said, nudging him with a small grin. “Before I make you stay and deal with my mom kicking your ass.”

He gave you one last kiss on the temple, eyes lingering on your face like he wanted to memorize it.

Then he was gone.

And you stood there in the quiet, already missing him, already waiting for tomorrow.

================================================

You were halfway to class when your phone buzzed in your pocket.

San: meet me in the 2nd floor girls’ bathroom. rn.

You stared at the message, blinking. You typed back fast.

You: ??? You: wtf?? that’s the GIRLS bathroom??

No reply. You groaned. You should’ve known he’d pull something like this. And you hated that your heart was racing with excitement.

You darted down the hallway, checking to make sure no one saw you as you slipped into the second-floor girls’ bathroom.

San was already in there, leaning casually against the sinks like he belonged. Hoodie up. Mischief in his eyes.

“SAN” you whisper-shrieked. “You cannot be in here. What if someone walks in?!”

“So what?” he smirked, pushing off the counter. “Nobody’s in here but you and me. I wanted to see you.”

You gave him a look. “You couldn’t wait ‘til lunch?!”

“No,” he said simply. “Come here.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist before you could protest and pulled you in, pressing a slow, warm kiss to your lips. You gasped into it, hands instinctively grabbing his hoodie.

“San—”

“Mm,” he hummed, ignoring you as he kissed you again, this one a little deeper, a little needier. His fingers were tracing circles on your lower back. “I missed you.”

You giggled breathlessly, breaking away just enough to talk. “Stop, seriously. I have to get back to class. I’m gonna be late—”

“Don’t care,” he mumbled against your lips, kissing the corner of your mouth. “Can’t stop thinking about you.”

“San…” you tried, but your laugh betrayed you. “Please.”

He finally let you go, exhaling dramatically like it physically pained him. “Fine. Fine. Go learn about the mitochondria or whatever.”

You rolled your eyes. “Wrong class. That was last year.”

He grinned and turned to walk away—but then suddenly spun back around, grabbed your face gently, and kissed you again.

You made a noise of protest and clung to the front of his hoodie. “San—!”

“Just needed one more,” he whispered, smiling against your lips. “Okay. Now I’m done.”

He turned and strutted out of the bathroom like he hadn’t just committed a minor felony.

But the second he opened the door—

A girl from your math class stood there, frozen, clutching her lip gloss and staring wide-eyed.

“What the fuck?” she said, blinking at San, then at you behind him.

“Wrong bathroom,” San said with a crooked grin, throwing his hood up and running down the hallway like a criminal.

You yelped and dashed out after him, covering your face. “Oh my God, oh my God—”

San slowed down just enough to turn around and offer his arm. “Let me escort you to class.”

You smacked his arm but took it anyway, laughing and panting. “You are the worst.”

“And yet,” he said, dropping you off right outside your classroom, “you still can’t get enough of me.”

You looked up at him with flushed cheeks, heart still racing. “You’re not wrong.”

He winked. “See you after class, pretty girl.”

And just like that, he was gone — casually walking out like nothing had happened

—-

after school

“Are you coming over?” you asked San as you walked out of school together, your bag slung lazily over your shoulder, the sun still warm in the late afternoon.

“Nah,” he replied, stretching his arms behind his head, making his biceps flex on purpose. “I gotta hit the gym today.”

You groaned, dragging your feet like a child. “Ughhhh, why are you always working out? I swear, you don’t do anything else. Gym freak.”

He smirked, clearly amused. “Why don’t you come with me then? We’ll stop by your place, then mine, grab clothes, and go together.”

You blinked at him. “Hell. No. I am not working out with you. Your workouts are probably pure torture. I will literally die.”

“Oh no,” he grinned, walking backward in front of you. “You have to now. You said it. We're going.”

“I never said yes!”

“Yes you did, spiritually.”

You sighed dramatically. “Fine. But if I die, I’m haunting you.”

“Sexy,” he winked.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Masterpost Next

[hiding-under-the-willow]

obsessed with ancient/stone age human culture (would have gone on to study it if life hadnt gotten in the way) and so your ghosts au bdubs has me chomping at the bit. what a brilliant and wonderful choice. i dont have a lot of coherent thoughts rn but i love love love the tags in the og post of your recent fanart of him and i hope to see more of him and i love to turn him around in my brain. & wanted to tell you that.

i also think sometimes about how long he spent alone in death before any of the other ghosts joined him and oh, my goodness. how, uh,, how do you think he's doing?

Ghosts AU Bdubs is so interesting to me bc I came in at the beginning mostly just basing him on the portrayal of Robin from the show, which I knew wasn't entirely historically accurate in the first place so I would probably want to go more in depth with him at some point, but I just hadn't taken the time to do the research necessary to actually go through with that development, and then this semester half of my classes these last few weeks have been discussing Paleolithic and Neolithic people and art and something just snapped in my brain and I was like. Ah. Okay. The potential there is crazy actually. So there'll definitely be more of him!! I'm like half using him as an excuse to explore the stuff I learned in my classes more in depth and half using the fact that I learned about this stuff in my classes as an excuse to finally go through and develop him the way I wanted. Symbiotic relationship or whatever.

Also yeah, that long ass gap of time where he was the only ghost around certainly has been bouncing around in my head a bit. I don't have. completely coherent thoughts about it at the moment. I certainly think he might've coped in similar ways to the way Robin does in the show, getting attached to the people living on the property, spending a lot of his time learning from them and talking to them even if they don't realize he's there. I think he probably would've been a much more serious figure in life, and also in the early days of his afterlife (I mean not completely, it's still Bdubs we're talking about lol, but still), that spending all that time alone might've unraveled him a bit. I feel like it's hard to get a definitive grip on like. Who he is. Some days he's kind of obsessive and neurotic, in everyone's business, easily worked up, other days he seems perfectly content to ignore the happenings of the house, just do his own thing out on the property. I feel like most of the other ghosts wouldn't know much about his life, or even his early afterlife, he doesn't talk about it much and when he does it's always some crazy one-off anecdote that doesn't let you in on much of what was actually happening at the time. I think, like Robin in the show, he probably has his moments of like complex emotional or social intelligence that seem kind of out of nowhere from an outside perspective until you think about how long he's been around to have observed and learned about the world, about people.

[thesweetestdevotion]

Hello beautiful magic fairy!

Могу ли я попросить тебя сделать расклад на картах Таро для будущего супруга Сана из Ateez и где они могут встретиться?

Ateez San Future Spouse:

Dice: Mars, 5th House, Virgo

Tarot:

Personality: Seven of Cups, Four of Wands, Ten of Swords, Eight of Cups, Four of Cups, Two of Swords, The World

I think they are relatively young because their energy feels very bright and youthful. Definitely an adult but they might be younger than he is. This person is someone who has a hard time being decisive. they can be very ambivalent about standing up for something and being outspoken. They seem to lack individuality in a way, and they are also overwhelmed with the options of who to be or what to choose. They’re probably at a time in their life where they have to make very hard important decisions and they have trouble with doing so. I think they can be apathetic and passive, they’ve sorta done what people have told them to do in the past, and now they can’t seem to break out of it. They could be in an energy of individualizing themselves away from the beaten path and tradition. I think they could feel like they never had the strength to grow into their own person and they’re feeling the effects of that. But i think since they are young it’s not uncommon, they need more time alone to seek their own path and find fulfillment. It’s not that this person has nothing going for them because they do, they’re just having a bit of an identity crisis for some reason and they are also developing their own views and personality. They seem very fair and bright, a person with much talent and potential, but it’s time for them to walk away from something that will set them on a new journey.

Career: The Fool, Three of Wands, King of Coins Reversed, Five of Swords, Six of Cups, Knight of Wands

Like i said this person seems inexperienced in some way, maybe they’ve just started out their career. I think this person does work in the industry but they are new, not someone who has been in it for a while. They might struggle with establishing themselves because of this newness, but overall they seem highly creative and willing to learn and grow. They are probably going through a learning curve right now, where they have to adapt to new environments and learn new skills. They might be facing conflict and criticism as of now, and they have to fight to establish their place amongst the others in their field. It’s definitely giving either trainee or close to debut/recently debuted type of energy.

Their Relationship: Ace of Wands Reversed, Nine of Swords Reversed, Queen of Coins, Nine of Cups, Seven of Coins, Temperance, Ace of Swords

I dont think they’ve met before so this is a future energy. There is an interruption in creative energy, i think if or when they come together there will be an obstacle in one or both of their careers, But overall it’s a very well balanced relationship. They have great communication and rapport and seem to be in true love. There is an emphasis on building something together, something tangible that they can both benefit from. I have a feeling they’d get serious fast, and are very well matched. I think they’re both on the same page for many things and have a very soft and smooth sailing relationship. Any trouble they face will be external but they will fight together if they need to, they’re one big team and wont let each other down at all.

How They’d Meet: Ten of Cups, Justice, King of Wands, Two of Coins, Knight of Coins, Five of Wands, Two of Cups

They’d definitely be at some party, or somewhere rowdy and loud. I think they’d be introduced by someone who sees an opportunity in bringing them together. There will be immediate interest between the two and they will match well and have good impressions of one another. I think they will be around people who they know and are supportive of them and their connection. This will be a great opportunity for both of them and they will feel like they got lucky. This will come to them no matter their circumstances, it’s a part of their life story. I dont think they have to work on themselves or reach any goals before this. It’s almost written in the stars, and yet it’s not some grand thing either. they were just meant to meet in this lifetime, they have karma together they are meant to live it out and enjoy life as it comes. It’s a very sweet energy.

Anyways, hope y’all like it! Xxx

[liquidcrystalsky]

okay whenever i talk about linux i say shit like "development is easier" or throw around things like LXC or POSIX/UNIX, or whatever insane terms but:

here's my list of actual shit that the average person would care about

Most updates including core system components usually don't even need a reboot(please reboot your computer at least once a week). If it does, it waits for me to reboot. It wont ever stop me in the middle of something to ask me to or force it on me.

If i plug in a device it will just work. I do not need to install drivers or some stinky special crap software for it to be detected, it will most often just work (every new linux kernel version adds so much support for new and old hardware. If it doesn't work now, it might work later!)

Package management. I've sung it's praises so much already but. every other device i know you can click a button and it will update all the apps on your device. except windows. App has an update? Open the software centre or Discover or whatever, click a button boom it's updated. All controlled from one place, no worries about does the app update itself, or whether you're downloading the right installer for your system, just use the package manager that comes with the system and it's good.

It's as minimal as i want it to be. Both windows and mac suffer a lot from just having a bunch of crap that you cannot get rid of. I installed a distro which didnt even come with a graphical interface, it was that minimal. If the distro you use is a bit more reasonable, but it comes with some software you dont want, you can just get rid of it. Shit if you wanted to you can just uninstall the linux kernel and it will just let you, and your computer will be unbootable. You have full control over what you want on your system. Also uninstalling things is less stupid, there's much less cases of leftover files or shit laying around in the registry. (there is no registry)

Audio. "linux audio is bad" is a thing of the past and i'm so serious. Pipewire is an amazing thing. I have full control over which applications give output to which speakers, being able to route one app to multiple speakers at the same time, or even doing things like mapping an input device to speakers so i can monitor it back very easily. I still dont understand why windows does the stupid "default communication device" thing, and they often reset my settings like randomly changing it to 24 bit audio when i only use 16 and certain programs break with it set to 24 idfk. Maybe this is less of an "average user" thing and more of a poweruser thing but i feel like there's SOMETHING in here which may be handy to the average person at some point. i love qpwgraph.

i could think of more but i dont use a computer like a normal person so it will take me time to think of it

[sunny6677]

Alright!! So I was gonna write, but I figured I'd made an info page on the Agape AU first and THEN I'd write tomorrow instead.

The Agape AU.

Part 1: Appearances, what happens when they show up, and their voices.

TWS FOR ELDIRITCH OR ANIMAL-LIKE APPEARANCES, SHARP TEETH OR NAILS, TERRIFYING APPEARANCES, LOUD VOICES, CORPSES, DEAD PEOPLE, ETC

@professional-procrastinating @rebootgrimm @av-the-art1st @random-fandom-chaos

Summary:

Odysseus is basically trying to get back home to Ithaca, like he is in the original story. However, the thing is, in this world—the God's unconditionally and intensely care for humans in a way that is so hard to comprehend that it's easy for humans to get overwhelmed by it. But, the God's still have a detached morality toward humans, and though they apparently care for them, they will do just about any hurtful thing to them. And Odysseus is forced to fight against and run away from the very God's who claim to love him while on his journey, slowly becoming more horrified and miserable throughout his rather disturbing encounters with basically everything.

Facts about this AU:

1. Every character in this has a very.. eldritch appearance you could say? They all look horrifying, I'll tell you that. Half of them are also much taller than humans, or the most powerful ones usually don't even appear as humans at all (rather, they appear as something else entirely, likely to do with their domains).

2. The God's actually know every human in this AU, due to.. well, being God's and having lots of worshippers.

3. The God's know humans by soul, so they know basically everything about every specific human, even the smallest little details.

4. The closest to humans is Hermes (who is a little more intense about the whole thing), while the God who's the least close of all of them is Calypso (since no one really comes to her Island anyway, but she still feels love for them).

5. The God's are respected here and feared, but only a few who have actually gotten close to them without being afraid of them have loved them in return (it's not that humanity is unaware of their love, but more so that the God's are so horrifying in both actions and appearance that they can't help but be terrified anyway—understandably).

6. When humans die here, their spirit gains awareness of everything about the world and divine knowledge itself, and whether they like it or not, they develop the same unconditional love for everyone as the God's do, and feel such a strong sense of peace that they don't care about anything anymore.

7. The God's respect eachother as God's, and often do get into disputes, but they typically dont want humans to worry about it, so they rarely ever tell them about it unless it's like REALLY serious.

8. The God's can be very affectionate with humans, so they often have nicknames for them, act very physically affectionate with them, praise them, etc. Doesn't really make their more morally gray actions any better though. 😭

9. Basically everything in Epic all goes the same here, but it's slightly darker due to some things about the AU.

10. Individuals in Tartarus here often deal with very harsh or excruciating punishments, which Hades usually watches in sadness, as if he's not the reason they're there in the first place.

Appearances of the Gods:

Zeus, God of Justice, Thunder, and The Sky - King of God's - He doesn't really appear as a human, but he usually comes in the form of storm clouds, and let's himself be known with a disembodied, echoing voice that is so rough and low that it sounds like the cracking of thunder. It's also quite obvious when he's there since the clouds always seem a bit too dark and seem to basically appear out of nowhere or a bit too quickly. And the area around whoever is there when he arrives suddenly becomes very still and quiet, to the point where they can barely hear anyone else. The air even feels so stiff it makes anyone nervous to move. He can also make illusions of humans appear, but otherwise never really disguises himself or makes illusions.

Poseidon, God of The Ocean, Horses, and Earthquakes - Does not really appear as a human either, but he usually 'appears' by making the air around suddenly go stiff, sometimes making storm clouds appear, or making it seem like there's a shadow of a horse there—or he just makes everything around tremble. But otherwise, he's usually just a disembodied loud rough voice that changes frequently in tone like the waves of the ocean, always seeming to come from the ocean—as if he's directly beneath there.

Hades - He often appears as a human with pale skin and long black hair, wide eyes to the point where it's terrifying (his pupils are usually gray) and he has eyebags beneath his eyes, and he always has a loose tunic wrapped around himself (he often shows up like this to greet or talk to random shades or people up in the mortal world). But, other times, he shows up as a silhouette (which he actually prefers to show up as)—or takes the form of someone who's already dead (usually appearing as however their corpse looks). He has a quiet, whispery, ghost-like voice that is incredibly hard to hear. And it's so quiet that it creeps nearly anyone out.

Hera - Goddess of Marriage, Women, Family, and Childbirth - Queen of the Gods - She typically doesn't want to scare humans, because for whatever reason (likely due to the fact that she's a Goddess of family and has mother-like instincts) she seems to notice peoples emotions better than the others or seems to care more. So she usually takes the form of a regular human woman (with pale brown skin, long black hair, blue eyes, a white tunic, being just a bit too small and having eyes that are just a bit too wide—always having an odd walk, like how a bird would walk). But her regular form is one where her long hair is styled more like feathers with blue and green colorings to them, a veil around her head like a wedding veil, and gloves worn around her hands (with depictions of human families adorned on her skirt patterns since she wears a tunic). Her eyes are black completely, and she is VERY tall (gigantic even). She can also appear as a peacock, a cow, or as a cucoo, but it's usually obvious when it's her since the animal always seems a bit too still and won't stop staring. Her voice is very deep and feminine, being so loud that it echoes no matter how much she softens it—fitting for a Queen like herself.

Athena - Goddess of Wisdom, Warfare, Crafts - She has a very owl-like appearance. She has a humanoid form, but has the head of an owl and a beak like one, black eyes with white pupils, long dark brown hair that is styled like feathers, and a large helmet that usually makes her face appear shadowed and not able to really see. She wears tunic with shoulder blades, but is typically seen wearing a cape that she can easily turn into a robe to disguise herself with. She also has human legs that transition into owl feet, but they're usually hidden by her cape. She also carries a sword and shield around most of the time. Athena can choose to appear in the form of an actual owl most of the time though—or as any of her other sacred animals, but they will often have unnaturally gray eyes even if they're not supposed to—and they hide themself VERY well. When she appears, everything seems to get a bit more stiff and silent, becoming darker all around as if a spotlight is set upon you—and before you know it, you probably appear in a gray endless void where she's probably there waiting for you. Her voice is calm, low, and strong—like a Queen giving a speech, but it can get incredibly loud if she's enraged, often turning more animal-like and becoming more rough.

Aeolus - Deity of The Winds - Usually just hangs out at the air, but will sometimes make themself appear as a humanoid figure for fun. Their humanoid form has long white hair that resembles clouds, wide white eyes with no pupils, seemingly no lips for whatever reason, and often no tunic at all or wearing a loose tunic that seems more like a cape than anything else. Their form can change rapidly though—from having no eyes at all, to suddenly having shorter hair, etc. Because like the wind, they shift rapidly. Their voice can also go from loud to quiet real fast, being very high and energetic, usually shifting to different tones as well. It can also become very echo-y at times, especially when they're yelling.

Circe - Goddess of Sorcery—skilled with Transmutation, Illusion, and Necromancy - Appears as a humanoid figure that seems like a woman, with pointy ears and wide eyes that are completely black with pink pupils. She has a long, ominous smile on her face at times, and has pale brown skin. She is incredibly tall, and wears a veil around her head with a long sleeved tunic (and a long skirt). But when she rips the veil off, she has a wild messy state of dark brown locks for hair, seeming like a lions mane. And she also has sharp teeth and very sharp nails. She also has the ability to lunge at people and is very fast. She often seems to appear out of nowhere, as if she teleported or something, so people often get startled when she shows up. Her voice is also very quiet and normal—but becomes distorted and rough quickly if she feels angered.

Hermes - God of Trickery, Thieves, Messengers, Astrology, and more - Doesn't really have a specific form since he changes forms every few seconds for fun (appearing as a snake, another person, a hawk, etc). But the form he'd usually use is a human-like one, with a shadow over his completely white eyes, messy dark brown curly hair, a helmet with wings, and a tunic with a dark purple cape that has stars on it and always seems to shift. He has a very long and slender body that always seems to shift or change in some way. And he is very tall. He also has winged sandals. When he appears, everything around suddenly becomes hot-pink, everything goes dead-quiet, and shortly after, he appears or is noticed. His voice is distorted and often very cheerful, but can change tones quickly. He isn't one to really get angry though, so he often sounds very happy (only really going dead quiet if pissed—or screaming so loud it deafens the ears of whoever hears it).

Tiresias - Prophet of Thebes, once a priestess to Apollo, and once a priestess to Hera - He appears in the form of a young beautiful man with sharp ears, long white hair that has curls, and has a bandage over his face. But he has a deep gash of scars on his eyes that is so bad that he doesn't have eyes anymore. He also has a long dark robe with a sapphire pendant holding it together at the hood. Nothing really happens when he shows up, but he does always show up unexpectedly. His voice is also very soft-spoken, gentle, and quiet—a bit like a mother's in a way.

The Sirens - Ehhh the Sirens don't all specifically have an appearance here? But they usually appear as black giant birds here with human heads that either aren't moving at all or aren't moving it's face at all, but an illusion from the sirens can usually make it seem like they're completely human. Understandably, this doesn't work if you can't hear them though, so Odysseus is slightly terrified during suffering since it's literally wearing the head of some random woman (who resembles Penelope but clearly isn't her) who's definitely dead.

Scylla - Has a human woman-like appearance up at her top, with sharp ears, a giant smile with sharp teeth, and completely black eyes. But she also has sharp nails and long arms, with tentacles and six heads of eels for her legs. Often times, when she appears, it's sudden, but you usually don't have time to react even as she's coming right for you. It's a bit like suddenly being attacked by a bear while camping or something like that, or a brown bear suddenly showing up while you're on a hike. She has an extremely loud, raspy voice that is very high pitched and often screams a lot. It is very deafening to the point where it can even make one's ears bleed from the overwhelming noise.

Calypso - Prisoner of Ogygia, Goddess of Lost Souls, Daughter of Atlas - Appears in the form of a humanoid with feminine features, but resembles a sea creature at best. She has long black dreads, sharp ears, black eyes with teal pupils, sharp teeth and a wide mouth, teal skin with gills on her face, a shell bra and a tunic for a skirt. She's usually human-size, and can also run very quick, or swim very fast. Her voice is soft and is quiet enough for a human to here, but she also giggles a lot and can have very manic changes of voice. Nothing really happens when she appears since being trapped on an Island by the God's, she's also been stripped of most her power, but that doesn't mean she can't run after people or stalk them. People are also usually sent to her Island, so they're usually imprisoned to by whoever sends them there.

Apollo - God of Music, Poetry, Sunlight, Healing, Sickness, etc - Appears in the form of a humanoid most of the time—with short platinum blonde (nearly so bright it's white) hair, a halo-like shine around his head that's meant to be like sunlight, completely white eyes but an otherwise normal looking face, tan brown skin, a white tunic with a yellow collar around his neck and a sun pendant attached to it, pale yellow sandals. He usually carries around a lyre or a bow with him as well. Often, he appears in the form of a ball of light descending from on high before appearing as a human—often making himself known by speaking beforehand. He has a very gentle and sweet voice, that is very polite. But if angered, he goes completely silent or speaks more quietly than he usually does.

Hephaestus - God of The Forge, Volcanoes, Fires, Metal-working, etc - He often appears as an old man with pale skin and a ragged dark brown beard with a mustard and ragged long hair, often seeming 'hideous' appearance wise, and usually wearing a robe and a tunic over himself. But he can also appear in the form of lava or fire—often able to make a silhouette with fire of himself. He can also make his human form have visible orange glowing veins, and completely orange pupils (he also stumbles a lot when walking, or seems 'clumsy'—at least trying to seem like so to catch people off guard or make them let their guard down if he's suspicious of them). He has a very low, rough, and wheezy voice—and anytime he appears, it seems to be out of nowhere, with him always appearing right in the corner of a room.

Aphrodite - Goddess of Love, Beauty, Procreation, Pleasure, etc - Doesn't have a specific form, but usually appears as whatever or whoever the individual she's showing up to finds the most beautiful (including Athena, who she shows up to as an olive tree with a disembodied voice). When she appears though, she usually giggles before seeming to suddenly show up, or always seeming to catch the attention of whoever she's showing up to while she's approaching them—everything also becomes pink-tinted. Her voice is soft, giggly, feminine, and can have a slight echo to it—but it can also get very deep and angry and loud if she's truly upset.

Ares - God of War, Chaos, Destruction, Strength, Pride, etc - Often appears in the form of a muscular Greek human soldier with traditional armor, and a complete shadow over his face that is never revealed—or is hidden if his helmet somehow is taken off. He also can appear as a giant snake or as a bull—often charging in with no warning and being very aggressive. When he appears, people will often get very angry for no reason, become violent, and not even notice the area around them suddenly becoming even more tinted with red or eerily loud until it's too late and he shows right up. His voice is very masculine and rough, so deep that people feel nervous hearing him speak, but he also screams a lot and can make just about anyone cry or tremble in fear with a raise of tone.

Charybdis - Doesn't really change here? But I'd say she's more gigantic, appears almost like an anglerfish here, and he's incredibly loud cries. Also, the area around her is very dark and stormy, so it's easy to tell when she's around.

Polyphemus - Kinda normal hers? I imagine he appears how most people depict him, except his eye is completely black instead, and his teeth are a lot sharper. He also moves very unexpectedly since he's quite still or slow most of the time. His voice is the same as it is in the musical, but slightly louder. Nothing really happens when he shows up since he doesn't really have magic and isnt really a deity, but it's quite obvious when he's around due to him speaking all of the sudden or being so loud that people can hear him—or his breathing is very audible. He's also a bit more animal-like, but is clearly the youngest of the Cyclops. He's also still angry with Odysseus here and kills half his men, even if the slight divine blood he has within him makes him care a little bit about Odysseus at least.

Helios - He doesn't really appear here? But he doesn't really appear in the form of anything and more so just kinda watches everything because he literally is the sun, but he can sometimes show up as like a cow or something—which is quite friendly (people rant to cows sometimes, not knowing it's actually him). He's actually kinda just chilling here, but can be equally terrifying since he literally sends Zeus to punish Odysseus after Eurylochus kills one of the golden cattle.

More gentle with humans: Apollo, Hera, Aeolus.

More playful: Hermes, Aeolus.

More cruel with them: Zeus, Poseidon.

More generally harsh: Ares, Athena (at times).

More affectionate: Hermes, Apollo, and basically all of then except for Ares—but he tends to show his affection more through praise in battle and sparring with people and stuff like that.

Again, all of the God's love humans as cruel as they are here, so no matter what humans do, they never seem quite angry with them or really upset at all (Poseidon is basically trying to punish Odysseus, but isn't actually that mad and is just being very stern). And neither do any dead humans get mad with humans who are still alive. Tiresias gently laughs at Odysseus during No Longer You while the other shades from the river watch ominously and seen just as gently amused or eager to show him affection—and holds Odysseus' hand, Athena cups Telemachus' face and keeps praising him about his strengths, Athena doesn't yell at Odysseus even when he's yelling at her—even trying to hold him as if he's a child who's having a tantrum and just needs a moment to calm down—but Odysseus likely resists—or at least tries to, Hermes gives Odysseus a platonic smooch on the head here after giving him the wind bag in Dangerous and even hugs him, etc.

But, as much as they love humans, they can still be awful and not even seem to know it. Which is why it's so terrifying. No matter what any human does, the God's are very detached from morality and will act in ways that aren't right. And clearly are more powerful than humans, so all humans can really do is nervously obey them, try to escape them or fight them if necessary, etc.

[nabbit-unmasked]

Thinking about when time when I was in Reddit therian and otherkin communities.

Once time, I made a google slides presentation for myself with positivity about being C.A.R. kin, and every single being supported me except this one exclusionist guy. He called me controversial and had a whole argument with me in the comments.

He was very strict about who he saw as a valid otherkin and gatekeeped others to hell and back. It wasn't just with me and being an African nation, but he pretty much nitpicked everyone he saw. If there was anything about them that didn't match his perfect standard of being an 100% involuntary, monokin/very few kin, non-physical, completely serious, not seeking validation, mythical creature otherkin, he found a way to argue with you and tell you what he thought you should be. This man was in his 20s and talking to a bunch of experimental/new-to-kin teenagers about this stuff, mind you.

Later on, my and a fellow otherkin friend messaged a user that he was, once again, gatekeeping and invalidating. I believe it was because they were original species kin, but I'm not quite sure. Either way, they reported him and he was banned the next day (thank goodness).

When I was in Reddit spaces, this wasn't all that uncommon either. He was just a more extreme example. People did make fun of "tumblr kins", which I believe was a satirical/troll movement a couple years back that made fun of bizzare kintypes and experiences. But the same idea still stuck; sometimes, tumblr was known as the place with a bunch of fakers and confused teens with 50+ kintypes, which is extremely indicative of "faking" in reddit spaces.

I admit that I partook in it gatekeeping, too. Specifically in therian spaces: it was extremely common for young & new therians to come in and ask if they were a valid therian, and a few people would reply and tell them the usual spiel: "as long as you aren't controlling it and you dont think you're physically an animal and you identify as not with, then yes!!!!"

When I found the r/alterhuman subreddit instead of other big kin subreddits, I totally changed my views on who counted as a "real therian/otherkin/whatever-else-kin". If you identify as it, you are it, and only you can decide that for yourself. It's no one else's decision, because they aren't in your mind.

That's when I left Reddit and came over here.

I realized something that could have been useful years ago when I was experiencing impostor syndrome over my plurality.

If you think you're faking, what's the reason for that? Is it because you feel like you subconsciously chose to be the way you are? Is it because you got hyperfixated on the community you're in? Is it because you dont experience any of the common or "more serious" traits of your identity?

Chances are, whatever it is that's making you feel that way is actually valid. Gatekeepers will try to shape their communities into the perfect mold that their brain sees them as, or as the people around them have made it out to seem. In reality, the ideal community is completely subjective and imaginary. There is no one, no force, no ideology that can stop you from identifying the way you do. It's entirely mental, individual, and personal. Theoretically, I could put on any label that I wanted to right now, and no one but myself could stop me.

After I realized I could apply that to myself, I understood most of my imposter syndrome came from the fact that my autism clung to communities and made me subconsciously gravitate to them due to hyperfixation. I always tried to find reasons why that couldn't be true, but I realized I didn't have to do that anymore. I accepted that was essentially what was happening. If someone did develop their identity, subconsciously or not, due to a hyperfixation, that was valid. When I built my own moral compass and stopped gatekeeping others, I was then able to stop gatekeeping my own self.

[puhpandas]

HD Movie ending spoilers

Jasper deserved better! You’re so right!!

I loved seeing Ray at the end but there’s also a lot of psychology around it I kinda dove head first into. Like the way Henry acted like Ray for most of the movie and then just up and left??

Like “you want a gold star or something” at the beginning for Henry to literally give him a gold star at the end, where I assume real world Jasper didn’t know that anything had changed, had to have felt entirely too condescending, right??

I have extremely mixed feelings about the whole movie now that I’ve watched it three times and the initial shock and excitement has worn off, but I think what happened with Henry in the movie is essentially:

he leaned into his lessons from Ray (the subconscious personality building ones) in order to stay ahead of Jasper because if he treated Jasper as an equal then it would’ve given him an opportunity to surpass him and he would’ve been stuck in someone else’s shadow again, and that insecurity presented as this standoffish jerk as a way of keeping Jasper in his place.

And when Missy made him realize how helpful Jasper really was to him, he felt so bad that his insecurities kinda took over and he was like “you have the spotlight here, I’m off to Newtown because they need a hero and I don’t have to compete for the spotlight.” Because unfortunately he does seem to view it as a competition. Even though he and Jasper have been friends for so many years. That never changed. We saw it in Henry’s Jelly. And it was more subtle and adult here because it seems like they avoid confrontation and let it build up.

And then taking on Missy as a sidekick and returning to the person who started it all just feels like the beginning of a generation trauma spiral imo.

In terms of the ending with Jasper I agree with you a hundred percent. I’m still a little confused on the implication of Ray maybe kickstarting a whole new thing but I guess we’ll see if it goes anywhere.

oh yeah I can totally see that. unfortunately I dont think the writers intended for it to be purposefully negative from a writing standpoint and be a generational trauma kinda thing but you could totally see it in this context

honestly I think Henry danger has just gotten the franchise syndrome where the OS starts off with the best arcs of the characters first developing and still being written good but as soon as it goes on for long enough/OS ends the characters get a soft reboot where they either get their character development regressed so they can have it again in the new series or they just. get changed completely and the show plays it off as growing and changing

most of the time they try and at least break down each character into archetypes and traits and just slap them onto a new mannequin to be them in the new series but I dont even think this movie did that tbh. henry felt so ooc and it feels like they really just want him to be a gritty badass hero and also be attractive for all of the people that thirst for him. I've seen so many comment sections in Nickelodeon posts of people saying Jace norman is attractive. it feels like hes just not gonna be like Henry again. hes too gritty and serious to contrast missy's silliness even tho Henry has always been a silly billy

[amascomet]

More questions!

For your GS!AU

i dont think Ive seen this mentioned anywhere but is there going to be a Casey Jones? And if so, how will the turtles have met him?

Are the Kraang going to be a big enemy in the series? Is Leatherhead going to exist?

Despite how serious Leo is, does he end up developing any hobbies that dont include training?

As of right now, Casey isn't present. I think he'll definitely have a place after I get through this first big phase of the story I have planned. Irma is currently the only other major human ally.

The Kraang are also something for the future. I have a big focus on Stockman right now. Shredder is also a huge threat, of course, but I've got a lot planned with Stockman. Other than IDW, I feel like they don't really let his character shine. I hope you guys will enjoy GS!Stockman as much as I do! Bro needs serious therapy.

A version of Leatherhead will exist.

Leo gets really into puzzles and card games. Please play UNO with him. It's his favorite.

[kxmpfflieger]

I wish to be upfront about a few things

Hey gang, let's have a talk about the future of this account.

In truth, I no longer wish to associate myself with the history community, specifically the Great War subsection I've actively participated in for the last (three-ish?) years.

I'm going to be blunt and say that it is because of the people I've come across. This place is a minefield, and every second mine that blows up in your face starts a chain reaction worse than the last. Its terrible. Ive hated it. And my only mistake has been not openly stepping down a year ago like I originally wanted. There's been a LOT of unsavory characters that I have followed and supported unknowingly, and people that I've just encountered out in the wild that just made me sick to my stomach. Despite my better judgement, I've persisted, but I recognise the toll it has taken on my mental health is really not worth any of this.

To add insult to injury, actively being in the history community has made me scared of engaging with other communities in fear of being ousted for the stigma WW/Imperial Germany art can carry in general, and its become a problem the more I've grown tired and fallen out of love with this material.

I wish to branch out, I don't want to be associated with this community anymore because of the shit I've seen and how insensitive and out-of-touch a lot of the people seem to be about such serious subjects.

My relationship with Martyrs is definitely not what it used to be, same goes for the "source material". I wish I could tell you a few bad apples didnt spoil the basket, but they did. In truth, I've lost the love I held for it.

A mix of the rancid experiences I've had with the community this past year, combined with the fact publishing comics as a One Man Team is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone (burnout, impostor syndrome, having to deal with carpal tunnel for the rest of my life now partially because of it, off the top of my head).

I don't want to drop the comic nor the characters I've made, developed and invested myself in for the past two years of my life. I need time to heal my relationship with my art, Martyrs in its entirety, and just broaden my horizons with other fandoms instead of limiting myself to one thing. I will not abandon what I've worked so hard for, but I need time to pull myself back up.

I don't plan on stopping art of the characters entirely. But please be aware that if that was the only content you followed me for, you will have to deal with lots of other unrelated stuff from now on.

Getting myself lost in the absolute minefield this place is (the ww community) is not something I wish to do again. I dont want to be considered a member of it. I want to be an outsider occasionally dropping by. Only surface level stuff with art of my characters and comic, that's it.

I'm grateful for the connections and the wonderful close friends I've made. For all the lovely fan-works and words of love and endorsement I've received. But I need to take better care of myself, and there are very clear and specific steps I need to take to do so. I debated making this post in the first place and just phasing out ww art out slowly overtime, but doing so didnt feel right.

If you wish to unfollow me after this, please go ahead. You're not obligated to stay, nor am I obligated to keep you here. Thank you for sharing this journey with me for the past two years.