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#and dont worry! im never shutting up
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“ten is a bad person” you never even tried to understand him
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faunandfloraas · 13 days
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i love being friends with girls and then they get a boyfriend and then he becomes the center of her entire existence and all she talks about and all she focuses on and i sit there and i smile and i nod and i feel myself becoming genuinely evil
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malikselfindulgence · 4 months
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Sorry for the uptick in system stuff Im lowkey struggling and need to see system positivity posts or I'll explode
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alexanderpearce · 8 months
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maybe this is just because i have personal history with some of it but the blurred lines between self harm (like modern day NSSI) and fetishistic masochism and religious devotion (i.e. self flagellation) have always been so fascinating to me
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sskklvr · 1 year
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♪♪ 'Your kiss was Sunday sweet, and I'd never tasted love before'
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griffsursparker · 2 years
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im not going to lie. I had absolutely no idea chris pine looked like that. like idk I was not expecting that hair
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sprinklethetangerine · 6 months
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I don't know about you, but my entire life REVOLVES around quoting shows and movies and whatever I know. If I never quoted things... then I just wouldn't be me anymore.
Just now, I suffered through 3 and a half hours of studying before finally calling it a day and going to eat and maybe watch something with my sister only to find the bitch asleep and doing exactly what I wish I was doing for those 3 hours I studied in. Absolutely nothing. So I, with no one but me around to hear, said "boo, you whore."
I quoted mean girls. For no reason other than I fucking wanted to. And if I didn't do that in that very moment... I don't think my life would be complete rn.
Literally 50 times through an average conversation, I will quote SOMETHING from SOMEWHERE.
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melioradeluxe · 24 days
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was feeling super bad for writing a fic of 2250 words (still not fucking finished...) for an event. for a specific prompt but then i remembered. i can do whatever the hell i want
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Rewatching DS9 and VOY has just made me want to do episode rewrites but with the TOS crew. So what about Voyager s2 e25 Resolutions but with TOS mckirk or AOS spones. This is a kinda long post and just my random thoughts so heres a keep reading
So Jim and Bones are stuck on a planet while infected with some virus that doesn't effect them while on the surface. And the Enterprise then has to leave because of some reason. So Spock is left in charge like Tuvok was and has to deal with the fact that the Captain and CMO have been left behind and with the growing resentment towards him even though Kirk ordered them to leave.
Also like the idea of Bones being busy researching how to cure them while Jim quickly grows to enjoy the easy living and maybe for once in his life the ship isn't a burden on him. While bones is losing his mind because being stuck on a planet with nothing but researching this one cure is like Bones' worse nightmare. (like i know most people would think Bones would be like Chakotay but its my episode rewrite and i can do what i want). Also the idea of Jim wanting to build them a log cabin extension is very fun. Also since neither of them have any romantic attachments they actually do something about the romantic tension and then have to deal with that when they get back on the ship.
Though I'm not sure if they would have to ask for help from some enemy or Bones would just figure out a cure. Maybe Bones finds a cure and then isn't sure what to do since Jim seems so happy and he doesn't want to ruin that or maybe he thinks if they go back to the ship Jim will just pretend what happened on the planet didn't. And then a day later the ship comes back with a cure and he has to deal with the fact that he didn't instantly tell Jim about it. And of course Jim finds out and hes conflicted because he wants to be angry at Bones for not telling him right away but hes also angry that the cure was found at all so its a whole mess.
Or if it was AOS it would be Bones and Spock who are left behind mainly so it would mirror the fact that Janeway has a partner back home so spones just have awkward weird romantic tension. (not sure if this would have mckirk as well or just spuhura) Though in this version nothing would actually happen on the planet cos no cheating thanks, also not enough time would have past where they actually think theres no going back. Not sure either Spock or Bones would be like Chakotay, they'd both be super focused on finding a cure. They would also have to deal with this fallout on the ship but it would be in a very different way than TOS mckirk. Maybe if theres no mckirk it would end up with mccoy/spock/uhura in some configuration. Though if mckirk was already a couple it would stay the two different couples. lmao or maybe mckirk comes out of it since jim realised how much he actually missed Bones. i dont know this is post is turning into a mess
So its Jim and Nyota who have to deal with leaving the people they care most about behind. As i think there would be less resentment from the crew to deal with. I'm sure the med crew would miss their boss but they would have less power to make a fuss about it.
But theres still the fact that they're not as far away from starfleet as Voyager was and why the ship would leave but like why should that stop me?
I mean it could also just be AOS mckirk on the planet but for some reason i'm more drawn to the TOS version in this instance
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hella1975 · 1 year
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im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia
#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT#but also i just. cannot hack it#'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also#like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently#and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good#and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home#so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN#and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum#that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job#like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good#and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications#and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-'#and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no#like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set#on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through#is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through#ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL#and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there#but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree#(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use#and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person#to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer#bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly#and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident#and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people)#i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments#i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it#yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up#hella goes to uni
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widevibratobitch · 2 months
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#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa#something is Wrong lol#i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches#all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now#but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit#and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on#to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back#like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend#i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect#i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back#but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms#or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations#or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings#or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af#because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff#im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility#i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn#but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself#and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc#i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself#and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it#i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do#i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it#and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person#<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation#of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT
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scaredofmyocs · 7 months
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I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long
#talk post#i love this blog i want to live here#I cant!!! i just cant!!! go to bed at a normal fucking time istg#but noooooo the wild grinders wiki no some stupid bullshit no one has ever cared about before#WHEN I DONT GET ENOUGH SLEEP MY MENTAL HEALTH GETS WAY WORSE!!!!! IF I DONT FIX IT WE ARE GOING TO GET TOO SILLY#(yelling at a mirror)#seriously bothers me tho that Im always worried about how intense my negative feelings have been lately#and im like “oh ill just get more sleep” and then immediately fuck it up the next night making me tired all week#making me feel SO bad in the mornings and at night and increasing my paranoia and other such thoughts#and in trying to tune it all out just forget about it again leading to me fucking it up again#this is a bit dramatic its only happened 2 weeks in a row#but that feels like a lot because thats like 10 nights where i felt like i blinked and i had to wake up and go to school#and not only deal with my shitty social skills but the results of said thing#and also try to fight the thoughts that are like “this shits pointless im not doing this” LIKE PLEASE pretend to be normal for one year#and also that one teacher i have who demands every students attention while he teaches like i already finished the work sheet shut it#like i do well in that class just let me do what i want im not being distracting like girl i have at least an 87 dw about me#PLUS most of the time im not even on my phone he just really wants me to look at the board but girl as i said I ALREADY DID WHATS ON THERE#i feel like i never get to relax but i do all the time so i dont know what i mean#i keep saying “its ok as long as i can bury all my thoughts and just keep going while filling what free time i have with things i enjoy”#but things only work for so long#i hate the passage of time#anyawy erm wrong my guitar is in my mind (stupid ass guitar riff)#walks over to my bed and trips on the way falling asleep on the floor#ramble#hit post
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vcrnons · 5 months
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man. why was yuta in my dream again
#shut up j#this time he was a cool older guy whose car had broken down and he asked me if I could drive him to work#so I pulled up at his place at 8am and there are like 30 people all dressed UP in these clubbing fits#meanwhile im in my fuckin JIMJAMS AND FUZZY SLIPPERS.#and one of his friends came to my car and was like heyyyy come inside he’s just getting dressed. And I was like :| look at the state of me#hair scraped back. hormonal acne all over the joint. it was BAD but for some reason I did go inside anyway#asked this girl how on earth she looked so good at 8am and she just laughed and shook her head saying I had nothing to worry about#LIKE MAAM I WASNT WORRIED UNTIL NOW WHAT DO YOU M E A N. anyway I get inside and yuta finally comes downstairs and is in a whole suit#pressed trousers white shirt tie jacket. a whole SUIT. and he’s like ‘oh did you bring the Jack Daniels’ and I was like bitch NO GET IN THE#CAR ALR YOURE GONNA BE LATE#also WHAT fuckin jack daniels. ITS 8AM WHY DO YOU NEED WHISKEY#never did find out but 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyway#so then I drove him to work and he was being a menace the whole time. just. making fun of my driving and saying the pyjamas were cute#and then he was like ‘can u pick me up at 5 too? and bring the JD with u. thanks’ kissed my cheek and skedaddled#I don’t know what triggered this I just know im gonna tear down a house over it. I hate him😭😭😭😭#I DONT KNOW THIS MAN WELL ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE UP IN MY DREAMS LIKE THIS😭#can I pls have five minutes peace. good god
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lesbianlotties · 5 months
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literally not my fault that i dont have a journal or therapy so you all have to see me oversharing on tumblr dot com
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the-patrex · 6 months
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every now and then you’ll reblog one of my reblogs and it gives me a heart attack. how do you find my stuff. why would you be scrolling through my blog of all places.
I might follow ya mate! You never know!
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minijenn · 8 months
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Not me casually trying to relive the day Sora got into Smash aka one of the most legendary days in human history
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