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#i can never be satisfied
liberifatalis · 8 months
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thinking of sefikura thinking of aerti thinking of sephti thinking of clerith thinking of aeriseph thinking of zackseph thinking of sephgen thinking of cloti thinking of zakkura thinking of strifentine thinking of zifa thinking of sephgeal thinking of zerith thinking of all the time travel fics in my head and what i can do with these pairings i can't stop someone stop it someone stop me!!
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getoswhore · 2 years
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my inbox is haunted.
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minijenn · 1 year
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Not me casually trying to relive the day Sora got into Smash aka one of the most legendary days in human history
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feral-mama · 10 months
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He’s trying so hard.
I told him what I would like and he went and did it and now I’m fighting tears because he had to use the worst picture when he did it. 😭 he thinks it’s a great pic, the kids said it’s cute, but I absolutely do not like it at all and that’s the one he used. I’ve sent him so many cute selfies and he posted a fucking sneak pic he tried to get last week.
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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khairosclerosis · 9 days
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🃏 and it's our word,
yes, our word,
against theirs
for curtain call, the ace attorney musical zine!
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wojtekaneko · 19 days
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Drawings of MAG 160 because I'm completely normal about The Watcher's Crown scene c:
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giantchasm · 2 years
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I hope in the next Legends game they isekai one of the Sordward/Shielbert duo so I can see people writing angst and saying stuff like “they separated him from his other half 😭” “he misses his brother 🥺” about the guys who look like this.
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finehs · 28 days
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It's difficult for you to say aloud, I know, so I won't ask you to. Rather, I would ask you to consider a proposal. Stay on permanently. 
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coffeebanana · 1 month
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there will never ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER be enough hurt/comfort fics. just so you know
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hanase · 1 year
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I am obsessed with Atem right now. It's been going on for a few months. There's a story here but I can't write for shit. I'll upload a lot more soon!
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forzathunder · 2 months
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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ryllen · 10 months
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maybe i do want us to kiss a little more
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mickeym4ndy · 27 days
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Even if Mickey had never come back, none of Ian’s relationships in the show or even after would’ve worked out long term because Mickey is the only person that truly knows Ian and he’s the only one that Ian could ever truly be himself around.
Ian changed himself to fit into a mold of what he felt Caleb & Trevor wanted. He wanted to hide the ugly parts of his life from them. To Ian, these shiny new relationships that were separated from the South Side and his past, were a way to hide those ugly parts of his life from himself. He wanted to move on from his past and every thing that happened in seasons 4 and 5. And he also wanted a better life for himself than what he’d had, because Ian’s always been ambitious and always wanted a way out from where he was. To Ian, a relationship with a “normal” guy who didn’t grow up like him was a way to do that.
But because of this he was never his full true self around them. He was always just playing a part for them (and himself) and keeping the things he wanted hidden, hidden. Through that he was able to hide things from himself too.
But Mickey grew up with him. Mickey’s life was just as messy, if not more so, than Ian’s. He understands Ian better than anyone. He saw first hand all the messy parts of Ian and still loved him. Even with all his insecurities that stemmed from his diagnosis, Ian never felt like he had to hide himself or change himself around Mickey. He was always just himself.
Even though it’s Mickey who says “I don’t do normal, Gallagher,” the truth is - neither does Ian. A “normal” relationship never would’ve satisfied Ian long term.
If Mickey had never come back Ian would’ve continued to do this with every new guy he dated and they all eventually would’ve ended because of this. Mickey is the only person that he doesn’t have to act with. He’s always able to just be himself.
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regina-del-cielo · 1 year
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Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but
considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill
Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"
But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.
They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.
It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.
I don't know I just think it's particularly neat
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toypretend · 1 year
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low-effort doodles from a couple months ago when i was tryna figure out my art style and how i draw them :))
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