#and dumbledore must have seen this. seen snape and seen himself

[lilithofpenandbook]

Something about Dumbledore being so hard on Snape

Dumbledore being scornful of Snape even when Snape was on his knees

Dumbledore emphasising that Snape made a mistake and must pay for it

Dumbledore who kept reminding Snape of his mistake even when he was grieving Lily

Dumbledore who didn't just let Snape change sides, he needed Snape to change his heart

Dumbledore who made the same mistakes as Snape and has been living in guilt ever since

Dumbledore who realised Snape was following in his footsteps

Dumbledore who may have started out thinking of Snape as cowardly or selfish but soon grew to trust him

Dumbledore who gave Snape half truths because if worst came to worst then Voldemort would have all the information right on his arm

Dumbledore who trusted Snape enough to not lie to him about the fact that he wasn't telling him everything even though he knew Snape resented it

Dumbledore who trusted Snape so much he knew that even if Snape resented him he would not betray him

Dumbledore who left everything he worked for in Snape's hands knowing it would be safe

Dumbledore who asked Snape to be the one to kill him, not just to save Draco's soul but for his own sake

Dumbledore who chose to die but only at the hands of someone he had grown to love

Dumbledore who once saw Snape as a desperate selfish boy that disgusted him

Dumbledore who made Snape his heir

Dumbledore who made Snape his.

[heartoftheserpent]

Awake in the middle of the night thinking about Harry and Sirius and for once I’m not complaining about the writing I genuinely think this is one of the best and most striking and poignantly written relationships in the whole series

- neither of them have any real reason to immediately trust each other as they do

- Harry doesn’t have a good relationship history with parents; the Dursleys were awful, obviously, but his other interactions with parent figures have very much colored inside your lines, so to speak.

- Dumbledore cares, but at this point (book 3) he and Harry aren’t really closer than a typical Headmaster and student.

- Molly and Arthur care, but they very much stay in their lanes; even after knowing Harry’s guardians starve and confine him, yes they write to Dumbledore and ask if he can stay more, but when they are told no, they don’t go out of their way to check up on him or even owl him during the summer.

- Hagrid is closer, but he mostly seems to trust that Harry can take care of himself. In fact, most of the time, their relationship is Harry helping him, not the other way around, and Hagrid doesn’t seem to find that strange.

- even the first night they truly meet, Harry immediately agrees to live with Sirius despite having had one (1) intense conversation with him where Sirius was very much on the teetering edge of sanity, unclean, vicious, mysterious, and broken

- to the point that THAT VERY NIGHT, going to live with Sirius is a strong enough thought to summon a Patronus for him

- This instinctive and immutable trust and liking goes both ways - in a series that can often be mean spirited, I’m often struck by just how much these two LIKE each other

- Sirius’s devotion to Harry is something I see as weirdly overlooked by a lot of characters; the man not only spent twelve years in Azkaban, but broke out, and spends the rest of his life wholly devoted to Harry’s well-being. Living on rats, starving in a cave for a year, just to be close if Harry MIGHT need help

- this isn’t just how godfather/godchild relationships are written in these books, either. We have two other examples (Snape-Draco [EDIT: I forgot this was fanon lol] and Harry-Teddy) and while both seem affectionate, neither seem like “tear down the world and rip myself apart to keep you from harm.” Heck, Teddy doesn’t even live with Harry, and his parents are dead.

- this is what’s really getting to me today:

- all the characters involved seem to see the Harry-Sirius relationship through their own perspectives so strongly that they miss important features of it (again, this is a writing element I really like, and haven’t seen mentioned much if at all)

- Hermione sees Sirius as well-meaning but perhaps not to be listened to…. Which is how she treats her own parents tbh, fine with not only ignoring their authority but also their autonomy if she thinks it’s necessary

- Ron seems to think of him as a fun/cool older brother. He’s the only one who comments on Sirius being so dedicated as to live in a cave and eat rats, but his astute comment is, “he must really like you, Harry.”

- Remus (in my opinion) seems to view their relationship as the same as his own with Harry - I.e. “friend of your parents who cares but in a normal way with normal boundaries”

- Molly famously does not think highly of this relationship, and I do think that says a lot about how she thinks you should treat Someone Else’s Child.

- except Sirius doesn’t treat Harry like he’s someone else’s responsibility, he’s the most involved parent we see in the series, up to and including the Malfoys

- This is more striking when you pair it with the insouciant playboy vibes he had as a young man!!!

- I honestly wonder whether even James and Lily would have been surprised at the level of devotion he shows. Would they have expected that from him? Would even they be impressed? Would they have joked about making Sirius the godfather when he was the reckless, feckless, fun-loving one, and have marveled at the way he stepped up to the plate?

- the trust, respect, liking, and devotion goes both ways!!!!

- Harry never doubts that Sirius has his well-being in mind (we’re going to set aside a couple of hate crime writing moments in ootp)

- in GoF, when his scar hurts, he remembers that he can write to Sirius and he’s thrilled. He trusts Sirius’s advice completely even after meeting him once. And when that letter results in Sirius coming back to England, he immediately lies and tries to send him away for his own good. And Sirius’s response? “Nice try.”

- They already instinctively know and trust each other, they’re already both acting out of care, no one has ever stepped up like Sirius and Harry RESPONDS to that so beautifully

- this continues in ootp with Harry not hesitating to risk his life to save Sirius; Hermione points out (accurately) that Sirius wouldn’t want him to. It doesn’t matter. This is the only person who has ever loved him fully and unselfishly.

- And of course, that winds up in the opposite, with Sirius sacrificing himself for Harry instead, and Harry having to watch

- This is easily the most traumatic moment in the whole series for Harry, culminating in his meltdown in Dumbledore’s office and severe depression and malaise at the beginning of HBP

- idk i just can’t stop thinking about them

- About how it’s the closest, most fiercely loving parent/child relationship in the whole series and all the other characters fail to see that based on their own biases

[fafodill]

Snape is a textbook example of ‘good but not nice’.

He’s more good than virtually all the characters the fandom recognise as good, because he sacrifices everything in order to protect those who do not love him and who would not do the same for him.

After his defection, he’s really not grey at all. Even *before* his defection, the worst crimes we actually see on page are using a slur (as someone who has a muggle parent and is therefore part of the marginalised community) while being assaulted against a girl who goes on to marry the abuser and passing on a scrap of a vague prophecy from Trelawney, who nobody takes seriously. But because he’s so morally unlucky, these actions have dire consequences, while somebody like Lupin who actually does a fair bit worse in full knowledge of the potential consequences of his actions gets away scot free because he’s lucky enough that Sirius turns out not to be a deranged mass murderer.

And what is grey after he defects doesn’t come from being an unfair meanie of a teacher - JKR definitely doesn’t think so, because if she did she wouldn’t have written Harry defeating the ultimate evil using a spell Snape taught him - but from what he might’ve been complicit in as a means to a good end (ie. the implication that on Dumbledore’s orders he gave up Emmeline Vance to Voldemort to cement his position as a trusted source, the fact that he couldn’t work to deradicalise his young Slytherins likes Draco, Crabbe, Pansy etc because he’d risk his cover)

You make really good points anon.

Like I said previously, people want to dislike Snape. Being a spy is horrible work and he must have seen and done terrible things and got really hurt by it. We are missing depictions of him breaking down from the choices he had to make, the people he had to see getting tortured or maimed or killed, especially during the second war. That man was holding on to occlumency for dear life to not just break down and ugly cry at night alone in his bed. And maybe he did.

But since we don't see his remorse written on page (why would we? It would mean that Harry sees it) then it doesn't exist to people. Snape's character needs critical thinking and empathy to be understood and most people just don't bother.

I would like to add that I suspect Severus to have been unable to appear as a 'good guy'. We know Dumbledore scolded him when he didn't want to reveal to people his true motivations.

Of course it was partly because his story with Lily was deeply private to him but I also think he had been ostracized so long during his life that he couldn't bring himself to be anything else at that point. It would have made his skin crawl to have those people - those who always judged him and despised him without ever trying to really know him (not that he made it easy either we can agree on that) - suddenly become nice to him. What a bunch of hypocrites he would have thought. He didn't owe them any explanation, he was doing what was right and that's it.

And the same thing happens with the reader.

[halfbloodgf]

Can we talk about the fact that Severus Snape left everyone, both the characters and the readers, like this: 🤡🤡

I mean, no one knew wtf was going on with him. One moment u think he's bad, the next u think he's good. And then u think he's the villain again. But then he gives his memories to Harry and we all realize that he was the fucking hero all along.

In hp1, we think it's Snape who was trying to steal the philosopher's stone, or who tried to knock Harry off his broom. But then comes the end, and we find out that he stopped Harry from falling (saved his life) and was protecting the stone...🤡

We still hated him in hp 2 and 3...

In hp4 Harry suspects that Snape had the Dark Mark, and ends up discovering that he did. There's even the scene that Harry sees: Igor Karkaroff accuses Snape in court in front of the Wizengamot, saying he was a Death Eater, and we're all like😯😃 (finally know the truth!!). But then Dumbledore defends him😐🧍🏻‍♀️, and no one, not Karkaroff, not Harry, not us readers, understand anything. We don't know whether to trust him or not. So, again...🤡

In hp5 everything is confusing with him. We don't know if he wants to help Harry (occlumency lessons) or not. He calls Voldemort "Dark Lord" (only Death Eaters do), we see his worst memory, which, again, leaves us bewildered and not knowing what the hell to think of him now. Harry himself doubts that his father was a good person, even wondering if James didn't force Lily to marry him, and empathizes with Snape. Then the whole thing with the prophecies, and Harry trying to warn Snape about Sirius and his supposed kidnapping. The Order arrives to save Harry and his friends, which suggests that Snape warned them.

But along comes hp and the Half-Blood Prince, Snape appears to be helping Draco Malfoy with what the Lord entrusted him with —The scene where Bellatrix accuses him, tells him that she doesn't trust him, and then she is surprised:

In the books:

[...]Do you really think that the Dark Lord has not asked me each and every one of those questions? And do you really think that, had I not been able to give satisfactory answers, I would be sitting here talking to you?”

She hesitated. “I know he believes you, but…”

“You think he is mistaken? Or that I have somehow hoodwinked him? Fooled the Dark Lord, the greatest wizard, the most accomplished Legilimens the world has ever seen?”

[...]

“And through all this we are supposed to believe Dumbledore has never suspected you?” asked Bellatrix. “He has no idea of your true allegiance, he trusts you implicitly still?”

“I have played my part well,” said Snape.

In the movies:

The line where he says “Dumbledore is a great wizard”, Snape is actually being smug and subtly saying he’s such a good actor (I mean, come on, the man deserves a fucking Oscar), he’s managed to deceive Voldemort so well that he has revealed his grand plan to him. He practically seems to be laughing at the double meaning of his own words, mocking and lying to the black sister's faces like the fucking boss he is. The way he's literally drinking a glass of wine while laughing at the Dark Lord. The whole scene is just excellent.

So at the end of hp6, Snape reveals to us that he was the half-blood prince for whom the fucking book is named, ends up murdering none other than ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, and we all learn that all this time his true loyalties were with the dark side...🤡

Oh no, wait! Hp7 arrives, Voldemort kills Snape :0 (Yes!), gives his memories to Harry, and Harry sees his memories and... (NOO😦😨😰😭💔💀). We found out he wasn't the bad guy. That, in fact, he was IN LOVE WITH HARRY'S MOM —"always" still hurts :')— That all this time he was our ally...🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

He practically played with all of us, with LORD VOLDEMORT, the Death Eaters, the Order of the Phoenix, Harry... well, WITH EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WIZARDING WORLD. And he did it as if he were:

Harry fucking Potter named one of his sons after him, which must have made a lot of people roll in their graves (James and Sirius out of anger, Snape out of laughter).

This mf literally woke up one day and said: "okay, here begins my reputation era bitches.😎 Let's leave a few of them looking like🤡🤡"

PD: Sorry if something is written wrong, english is not my language.

[dinarosie]

Do you think the only reason Severus viewed Lily on a pedestal is because she was the only person who treated him with genuine affection etc.? Because from what I have seen of her she doesn't seem like this kind, perfect role model that lots of fanfiction potray her as. She seems pretty shallow and insecure. Ofc that is my opinion and I care about yours, so what do you think?

Yes, I believe Severus Snape’s childhood traumas and the lack of affection in his early life significantly shaped his connection to Lily. However, I think there’s a deeper, more profound reason why he held onto her memory for so many years. This is evident in the pivotal conversation between Dumbledore and Snape after Lily's death:

"And what use would that be to anyone?” said Dumbledore coldly. “If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear. You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily’s son.”

At this moment, Lily Evans and Snape’s love for her transcends the personal—she becomes a symbol, a guiding light for Snape through the dark and arduous years ahead. She represents more than just a childhood friend or a lost love (depending on one’s interpretation); she becomes a reminder of the path he chose when he decided to protect Harry Potter.

When Dumbledore asks Snape to commit to protecting Lily’s son, he simultaneously warns him of Voldemort’s eventual return. By agreeing to this task, Snape knowingly commits himself to opposing Voldemort and everything he stands for. In doing so, Lily’s memory becomes a beacon, illuminating the moral and redemptive path that Snape must follow. From this point onward, Lily is no longer just a memory of a lost friend or a woman he once loved; she becomes a symbol of Snape’s redemption—a reflection of his choice to rise above the mistakes of his past and fight for what is right. She represents Snape’s turning point, the moment when he grows beyond the insecure young man who once joined Voldemort and begins his journey of atonement.

What’s particularly fascinating is that Snape subconsciously projects his idealized, moral self onto Lily. By clinging to her memory, he is not merely holding onto a lost friend but to the pure, untainted part of himself—the side that feels remorse and strives to make amends for his past wrongs. Lily, in essence, becomes the embodiment of the man Snape wishes to be: someone willing to sacrifice and endure immense pain to protect others and do what is right.

This idea is somewhat akin to what Harry Potter does later in his life. As I’ve mentioned before, one of the reasons Harry names his son Albus Severus is because the name symbolizes Harry’s own growth and maturity. It is a reminder of everything Harry endured—loss, sacrifice, war, and the meaningful choices that defined him. Similarly, for Snape, Lily’s memory becomes a symbol of his own evolution—his growth, redemption, and the sacrifices he makes in the fight against evil. It serves as a testament that his struggles and pain were not in vain but deeply meaningful and ultimately right.

In this way, Snape’s attachment to Lily is not the shallow idolization of a perfect, kind, and flawless person. Instead, it’s a complex psychological and emotional phenomenon, rooted in his desire for redemption and a deeper connection to the moral compass that Lily’s memory provides. Her name becomes a touchstone for the man he chose to become—a man who, despite his flaws, strove to honor her and fight for a better world.

[therealvinelle]

Why doesn’t anyone believe Harry in HBP?

I expect you meant to ask why no one believes Harry about Voldemort's return in Order of the Phoenix.

I think it's very reasonable for no one to believe Harry about that.

Consider what the average wizard knows:

Lord Voldemort died fourteen years ago, there have been no signs of life since (remember the Quirrel debacle was not made public knowledge)

Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory go to wherever the Triwizard Cup took them, Harry comes back with Cedric's corpse, in a state of shock

What happened to Cedric, you ask? Oh, Voldemort resurrected himself in a graveyard, killed Cedric, and then Harry escaped miraculously

This one's Fudge specific, but: the other evidence presented is that Severus Snape's Dark Mark is black now. (Avid readers will remember Fudge's reaction wasn't "ah, naturally that mark is connected to the Dark Lord's power and the color means he's regained his power!" but rather "Dumbledore, why the fuck is this a Death Eater in this school teaching children?")

There is no other sign of Voldemort. No one has seen him, heard from him, there are no incidents attributed to him. The Order can say "this disappearance must be linked to him!" all they like, there's no proof.

In a horrifying reveal, Barty Crouch Jr. had escaped prison, imperiused his father for the better part of a year, and finally killed him and then made the Triwizard Cup a portkey, using this to take the winner(s) to a secret location where he killed Diggory in front of Harry Potter. Crouch, a madman, was then given the Dementor's Kiss.

Ask yourself now, and picture yourself as a regular wizarding world citizen: do you think a dark wizard who's been dead for fourteen years suddenly rose from the dead, killed a boy, conveniently let the other escape, and then went back to doing nothing, when there was in fact a murderous lunatic present at Hogwarts who could easily have done all of these things? Or do you think that the boy who survived all this, who is already an orphan after said dark wizard killed his family as a child, might have let his imagination take over?

Alternatively, that the most famous boy in the wizarding world is now growing up and he wants to be a little heroic, so instead of a boring dead convict it was the much more exciting, miraculously resurrected, Lord Voldemort who killed Cedric before Harry miraculously escaped?

The slogan was INSANE OR LIAR and I can frankly see why. Is it a horrible thing to print up and down on the front page for months, yes, is it made worse by Harry's young age, also yes, but was it a reasonable conclusion? Frankly, yes.

I wouldn't have believed Harry either.

As for Harry's response, Harry is at that age and has that personality type where he says something, he knows it's true, therefore anyone who disagrees is either stupid or malicious. And since they are stupid and malicious anyway, there's no point in bothering with them.

[ashesandhackles]

Chapter 25 to 30

- Ginny leaning against Harry's legs as they both make fun of Ron show both the comfortable physicality of the relationship, and ofc, the way Ginny feeds the joke to Harry's set up shows how in tune they are with each other.

- Hermione telling Harry off for distracting Ginny because she is supposed to be studying for exams: full older sister energy.

- ' the truth is you don't think a girl would have been clever enough' 'how can i have hung around with you for five years and not think girls are clever?' love this exchange between harry and hermione. XD

- The author loves to make Trelawney half right. The lightning struck tower card she keeps pulling is the title of the chapter Dumbledore dies.

- We have seen Hermione step back in face of Harry's anger, but the other suggestion that he is kind of frightening is when Harry angrily asks Trelawney to stay where she was (post hearing who told the prophecy to Voldemort), she looks alarmed.

- 'boiling with anger at Snape, his desire to do something risky had increased ten fold': this is Sirius' godson alright.

- I must say, it says a lot about Harry's newfound control that he wasnt willing to talk about Snape until Dumbledore pushed him. He has to pace the room to keep himself from shouting and knocking over things. This also speaks to the respect Harry has for Dumbledore and their newely repaired relationship post year 5.

- Harry being upset actually upsets Dumbledore enough to consider telling him of Snape's true loyalties. His rational mind wins over, the one that thinks about war - and he just ends the discussion with how he trusts Snape without offering the explanation.

- Harry struggling with the idea that there may be a time he has to leave Dumbledore and save himself - this boy is so traumatised that with adults he likes, he cant trust them to take care of themselves. A combination of abandonment issues and just inability to not do.

- Harry doesnt agree with Dumbledore: so he marshals Ron and Hermione, asks them to check Marauaders Map and rustle up DA coins, gives them Felix Felicis.

- "I'll be fine, I'm with Dumbledore" a parallel to "I'm not worried Harry, I'm with you"

- there is a lovely, haunting atmosphere from the get go, the black rocks and moonlit sea. You can picture it vividly. (especially when Dumbledore and Harry swim inside the cave)

- The speculation of what Tom Riddle did with the kids at the orphanage: dumbledore theorises it is the journey to the cave itself. (I had a pet theory that he used parseltongue around them, since he mentioned that snakes found him on the trip to countryside)

- Like the chamber of secrets which goes underground, under the lake, the set piece of HBP also goes under ground and in water. Voldemort's mother's locket lies in the basin, and that adds to archetypal imagery of this. (The author lays it thick with all word usages like 'penetrating' the cave defenses, 'cleaving' the silken water)

- 'Your blood is worth more than mine' - there is a double meaning here, of Dumbledore's theory of Voldemort resurrecting his living body with Harry's blood, and how it will tie Harry to life while containing the power to redeem Voldemort's soul.

- Harry's genuinely scared of the place: its silence is unnerving, darkness is oppressive and he can sense, like Dumbledore can, the presence of dark magic.

- 'Voldemort would never have expected a sixteen-year-old to reach this place' - this bites him when Regulus reaches this place with a house elf.

- 'he found the idea that there were bodies floating around them and beneath them horrible' Harry secretly freaked out by Voldemort's defenses. His fear is so palpable this chapter and is the only time he cannot think clearly in crisis. (forgetting about using fire against Inferi when Dumbledore told him earlier in chapter. No wonder he could not talk about this episode properly with Ron and Hermione)

- Dumbledore drinking the Drink of Despair is laden with Gethsemane imagery: Dumbledore drinks from the 'cup of judgement' and causes him intensely painful visions. (In his case, of his own sin - his responsibility and guilt in Ariana's death).

- 'Hating himself, repulsed by what he was doing' - this sentence is important because there is a parallel with the expression on Snape's face as he kills Dumbledore. Dumbledore's lost boys indeed.

- 'Don’t hurt them, don’t hurt them, please, please, it’s my fault, hurt me instead …’ - ah this really hits, knowing his backstory in DH.

- More gethsemane imagery: Dumbledore's first words when awoken "water" - "i thirst".

- 'but taller than any': JKR does not care about consistent heights, she only uses heights to show power in the scene/ power dynamic. The emphasis on Dumbledore looking pale but taller than Inferi is a pattern from whenever she draws attention to height.

- ‘I am not worried, Harry,’ said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. ‘I am with you.’ --- Dumbledore transfers the mantle of power to Harry here and this hits :(

- Dumbledore means safety to Harry: the moment Dumbledore shows weakness, shows exhaustion, Harry feels horror and fear. A true child growing up and realising that safety blanket of theirs is gone.

- Madam Rosmerta has silk dressing gown embroidered with dragons. The style on this woman.

- would he be responsible, again, for the death of a friend? - Harry's feelings about Cedric and Sirius bleeding into this sentence.

- Draco disarms Dumbledore and becomes the master of the elder wand.

- Even though Draco disarms Dumbledore, you can tell he feels the weight of the situation where he dilly dallys what he needs to do. Dumbledore immediately clocks it when he smiles, "you're not killer"

- Shoving Montague into a cabinet, an echo of careless cruelty by Fred and George/ indifference by our heroes and how it sparks an idea for Malfoy. (JKR also makes a point of this by Ron lamenting that Malfoy bought Peruvian Instant Darkness powder from them)

- Malfoy who, bizarrely, seemed to draw courage and comfort from Dumbledore’s praise. - this boy definitely needs a father figure. He tried all year to prove himself an adult, and reveals, quite plainly, just how wounded he is from his father's imprisonment.

- Malfoy lurking around and getting ideas from Hermione: the enchanted coins (which is NEWT level magic and said to be impressive, Dramione shippers rejoice) + Filch not recognising potions.

- ‘Someone’s dead,’ said Malfoy and his voice seemed to go up an octave - a parallel from Harry's voice getting high in the cave - to indicate how absolutely terrified he is.

- The moment Dumbledore makes Draco feel safe and comforted with praise, he gets a bit of confidence/bravado even after Dumbledore offers him options. "I got here this far, didnt i? and you’re in my power … I’m the one with the wand … you’re at my mercy'

- The leader of the Order of phoenix reminds him who truly is at power, at all times: 'It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now.' (meta to expand on chapter)

- Malfoy, who has just been about to take Dumbledore's options by lowering his wand, reveals that he didnt know that greyback was going to come and is absolutely terrfied of him. (You can see how much of the beginning of the book, where he threatens Borgin with greyback, was a performance)

- Fenrir greyback is hired for brutality, but is clearly thrown around by Death eaters using their wands, which enrages him.

- ' there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face.' - parallel to harry's revulsion and hatred when he was feeding Dumbledore the drink. It affected harry enough that he doesnt talk about it with Ron and hermione - it is the same with Snape in DH. The death of Dumbledore at his hand has a profound effect on him.

- These three set of chapters cannot be rivalled in their intensity. From the eerieness of the cave, to the tower scene and now the climax.

- the entire lead up to Harry running after Snape, pushing people out of the way, having no time to answer Ginny, pushing off Greyback, all of this builds up to the moment Harry meets Snape and SO MUCH is going on in this scene. Harry uses crucio and incarcerous against Snape, but that doesnt affect him. But the moment harry uses his own spells against him - sectumsempra, Snape's face changes into rage, even as he deflects the spell.

- When he tries to use Levicorpus, Snape screams and pushes Harry magically backwards- "No Potter!": Levicorpus specifically has been used against him, as we see in SWM.

- '‘Kill me, then,’ panted Harry, who felt no fear at all, but only rage and contempt. ‘Kill me like you killed him, you coward –’ : There is an interesting ambiguity in this scene, where Harry thinks of himself as wandless and defenceless as Dumbledore, and they were just talking about James and harry knows of Snape's complicity in the prophecy. So 'kill me like you killed him' - is Harry damning him as killer of both Dumbledore and his own father (and by extension, Lily).

- ‘DON’T –’ screamed Snape, and his face was suddenly demented, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them, ‘– CALL ME COWARD!’ - Snape's face is referried to as demented/inhuman/animal like in DH when he is mourning Lily in Dumbledore;s office, when he wishes he could be dead.

- Harry labeling his as a coward after Snape does what is possibly an act of self immolation and sacrifice for the cause is also one of the reasons Harry calls him 'bravest man I never knew'. It is a reference to this scene.

- Snape hits harry magically in this scene (similar to how Remus hits Harry magically in Deathly hallows after being called a coward). Also a scene where James Potter is invoked.

- Harry trying to feel if fang is alive :(

-the sequence of hagrid and harry approaching Dumbledore's body is so beautifully written

- Love how sensory aspects are very integral part of Harry-Ginny relationship: where Harry can obey the pressure of Ginny's hand without really thinking about it, he is so numb that he recognises whose hand he was holding by the trace of her scent in the air. There is also a reference to his awareness of her physicality: 'he could feel Ginny move beside him' when she was watching Fleur.

- Ron and Ginny's reactions to Bill - Ginny who is stoically telling Harry what they have to do, clearly she is trying to keep it together but her voice trembles. And Ron just staring at Bill hoping by looking at him he can turn back time.

- The last of Remus' safety blankets from his childhood, the father figure, is gone and Remus loses control. Harry is so attuned to the fact that Remus maintains a performance of control that he looks away in the moment of his vulnerability. Not only is Remus grieving, he allows himself to question Dumbledore's judgement ('and dumbledore believed that?') - something he berated Harry for doing earlier in the book.

- Fawkes' lament. ❤️ In keeping with allegory of the books, Fawkes song offers comfort to Dumbledore's mourners/believers. (Meta for reference)

- Dumbledore's death (and Snape killing him) cracked McGonagall's facade. She is also extremely vulnerable this chapter: expressing grief and confusion and horror.

- Draco buying Instant Darkness Powder from Fred and George lol. And also the Vanishing Cabinets idea from the Montague incident. I love how the plot of this book relies on actions of Fred and George. Complacency is bad, folks.

- Who says Harry isnt smart? He is literally the only one among the Order who posits that you need a Dark Mark to cross the barrier the Death Eaters created towards the Astronomy Tower.

- Molly kissing Bill's bloodied face got me:(

- Ginny doesnt trust Fleur at all, the way she is intently watching Fleur, expecting her to break her brother's heart XD (she is not alone in feeling that - both she and Hermione exchange startled looks when Molly and Fleur hug)

- "I'm good looking enough for both of us" is iconic. I love that Molly offers Fleur her version of an apology for misjudging who she thought she is - the offer of getting goblin made tiara fromn Aunt Muriel.

- also Bill is so cool that even Aunt Muriel likes him.

- So my feelings about the hospital scene is less romantic and more illustrative of dysfunction of Remus and Tonks and the problems that will follow them in Deathly Hallows. It's a band aid rather than a fix - because the scene shows them both ignoring what the other needs. Remus is clearly going through a grief breakdown - his own last protector is dead. Tonks, after a year of being stonewalled by him and dismissed, is desperate enough to barrel through at the time to be taken seriously. ( i am going to rec @evesaintyves work here which i think captures the underlying tension of the scene )

- 'dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think there was little more love in the world' clearly, minerva, you have not heard of the great grindeldore break up.

- Love that Harry is at stage where he is attending staff meeting and giving his inputs lol.

- The chapter ends with Harry's awareness that Fawkes had stopped singing and had left the school. The song adds to the atmosphere of the chapter, since Harry hears it in corridors as well.

- Once Seamus' loyalty is won (to Harry, to Dumbledore), he is in for keeps. Given last year where he disbelieved Harry and Dumbledore on his mother's words, he is now having shouting matches in Great Hall so he can attend Dumbledore's funeral.

- Maxime x Hagrid going strong I see. I really like the fact that Maxime did a mission for Dumbledore (as part of his envoys for giants when she was clearly uncomfortable with her heritage in beginning of GOF) and she attends his funeral and is devastated enough to need Hagrid's comfort. There is a very interesting story here.

- Hour by hour Harry puts off breaking up with Ginny, and hour by hour, she is aware that it is happening (' i knew this would happen') and the implication that she hasn't been sleeping well since whatever happened.

- Fleur finding a silver lining because Bill now likes raw steaks: "British overcook their meat." XD

- "Do you have to rub it in Hermione? How do you think I feel about that now?" XD forever endeared Harry just expresses his irritation now instead of avoiding her. (also Hermione trying to take away some of the self blame Harry had by pointing out the book with teenage Snape's spells is not 'evil' , just someone with nasty sense of humour)

- Harry drawing parallels between Voldemort and Snape, something he will later on include himself in DH. 'The abandoned boys'.

- Pince x Filch, lesssgoo.

- Hagrid as the one who carries Dumbledore and Harry's seemingly dead bodies. The carrier of those moving between worlds.

- 'the last and the greatest of his protectors had died':(

- the imagery of smoke phoenix flying joyfully into the blue as Dumbledore's body is encased within a tomb though:(

- Harry looking away from Ginny earlier in the scene when he cried about Dumbledore, Ginny looking away from him when she admits that she never really gave up on him. The way they both have problems with being vulnerable.

- The way Ginny lets him go the moment he says, "I care.. what if this was your funeral and it was my fault". Ginny lets him go to ease his own guilt and pain.

- Harry repeating "What do you want?" at scrimgeour as he tries and fails to give expressions of sorrow xD

- Invoking the God image of Dumbledore early in series - "he will only be gone from school when none here are loyal to him". Also callback to CoS where Dumbledore says this, which this book mirrors.

- - Both hermione and ginny cottoning on to Harry's feelings: of his focus on destroying Voldemort and how she guessed he won't come back.

- Harry - Ron and Hermione under the beech tree where they had happier times :heart: also the beech tree Marauders sat under in the memory. "We'll be there Harry," Ron and Hermione's declaration here really moves me. Especially Hermione calling back to Philosopher's Stone: "You've said to us once before - that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time, haven't we?"

- golden day of peace to enjoy with Ron and Hermione T_T

[yallthemwitches]

Legilimens

Perhaps the real James was doing it on purpose--using memories of Lily to either drive him insane or to push away the real secrets that hid beyond. If it was true, he was succeeding on all accounts.

During a duel, Snape attempts Legilimency on James. Canon compliant. Oneshot NSFW moments

AO3 Link here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57734398

He knew he would be alone in the corridor. Word had spread through the proper circles that Dumbledore was tightening security around muggleborns, especially at night. Of course Potter would jump at being a hero; trying to take his ego from being head boy to a new extreme. He clearly delegated himself to strut around the dungeons at night just for a chance to fight. 

Earlier that day he had watched him argue with Lily over it. He was standing across the dining hall from them, but her body language was unmistakable: shoulders square, jaw tight, and even being a head shorter than Potter, her eyes pierced through him. They spoke in quick, hushed tones before Lily stormed away with James chasing after her. They moved closer and Snape could start to make out their words. 

“I’m not WEAK,” Her attempt at keeping her voice down was meager at best. 

James grabbed at her hand and caught it deftly in mid swing. Lily swung around again, fists clenched.

“I know, Lils. Trust me, I know,” he pleaded. Hearing his nickname for her stabbed his chest. How dare he be so comfortable with her, especially when it was his fault she was this angry.

“Then let me come with you–we can do patrols together like usual. I don’t care what Dumbledore says—” despite her words teetering out, her gaze on him held strong. James was still holding her hand but the other remained curled at her side. 

“He needs you to work with the others. NOT because you can’t handle it, but because you need to be there for everyone else,” James took a sharp intake of breath. There was a rattle in his chest Snape had never seen before. The air seemed to be caught in James’ throat and his eyes looked heavy. 

“You are a target, you know–please, let me finish–I know that doesn’t mean anything to you but if someone like Mulicber or Nott found you—I dunno—It’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”

Snape waited for the blowback. Despite James’ rare upset of emotion, his Lily would never buy it. How dare he diminish her like that…tell her she was incapable—

“Ok, fine,” Lily huffed. “But only because only one of us can go— and because I know Mary has been having a rather rough go of it recently.” Both of their bodies softened a bit and James pulled her in and buried his face in her hair. Snape could see his mouth move to say something else, but it was lost to anyone but her. He could feel the acid in his stomach bubbling. Watching them together and rowing was one thing, but to have to see their acts of affection day after day was like an everlooping cruciatus curse. 

Now, Snape stood in the small corridor alcove. Perhaps Potter was too thick to realize it, but he was a target just as much as any muggleborn. Mulciber himself had expressed wanting to attack Potter and his crew for sullying the pureblood lines, for “shagging a mudblood slut” as he had put it—clearly referring to Lily. For Snape, it was strictly personal. 

He could hear James’ footsteps from the adjacent corridor. He was whistling a tune softly under his breath. So arrogant. 

He turned the corner and started towards where Snape was standing, but stopped some paces away. Snape held his breath and there was a moment of silence.    

James made a dramatic sigh, then spoke. “I’m really not in the mood Snivellus–”

Before he could finish his sentence, Snape jumped out. Stupefy!

James must have known where he was standing because he dodged the curse with relative ease, putting a ruddy parchment in his back pocket and brandishing his wand at the same time. 

James flicked his wand at Snape and he felt a soft burning sensation start to crawl up his arm. Snape needed to move quickly before it spread to the rest of his body. 

Bombarda! A blast hit the side of the rock wall and scattered dust. James stepped back wiping his glasses. Snape took the moment as his best opportunity. 

Incarcerous.

James’ body fell to the floor as though thousands of ropes had wrapped around him. He thrashed, watching his wand roll towards the far side of the corridor. 

It was too easy. Snape whispered a counterspell at his arm which stopped the increasing burning sensation. Potter continued to twist on the ground, but his wand was too far out of reach to be any help.

Snape stood over him and watched for a moment. It was a very rare experience to see Potter so incapacitated. He could feel the smile cracking at the sides of his face. 

This was the perfect moment. He wasn’t stupid; he knew that Potter and his little crew were already planning on joining Dumbledore against the Dark Lord the second they left school. Knowing Dumbledore, he had already confided in them secrets that would be valuable to the death eaters. Defeating Potter was a victory in itself, but to get in the good graces of the Dark Lord too? There was no greater luck. 

Snape twirled his wand tauntingly. From his writhing, James had dislodged his glasses and they hung from one ear. Snape wanted to remember this look forever. 

Legilimans.

The corridor blurred around him, he had the feeling of being sucked towards James for an instant, but then found himself standing in a rather plush living room. He was small: a child. An elderly man with crooked glasses was handing him a broomstick with a golden bow on top. 

Crack

He’s still a foot shorter. His arm is around a young Lupin who is sporting fresh cuts along his body. His clothes are shabby and torn in comparison to his.

“I’ve never told anyone before —If you don’t want to be my mate I-I understand.”

He can feel his hand tighten around Lupin’s shoulder. His mouth moves and he hears James’ voice come out.

“We’re going to figure it out, together.. There’s got to be a way for it to be better–right?” 

Lupin has tears forming in his eyes. He laughs. 

Crack

They are older. In a room filled with Quidditch posters and stagnate pictures of muggle rock bands, a younger Sirius looks down at a pile of opened books. His hair cascading around his face and a cigarette hanging from his mouth. 

“It sounds doable mate. Look—” 

Crack

He’s back in his own body for a moment. Potter’s eyes are wide and burning. He is trying his best to block him, and seems to have succeeded for a moment, but it takes just another push and the corridor blurs once more.

She couldn’t be older than 4th year. He knew because she wore her hair just past shoulder length then. Her head bowed to a textbook open between them. She lets out a laugh: a real laugh. His hand moves to turn the page and brushes hers. A small blush forms on her cheeks. Is this when it began? All the way before 6th year? He could remember her giving him glances before, but had always assumed they were of the disgust she claimed to have for him whenever probed. Had he misread her?

Before he could watch what she did next, she disappeared into smoke with another Crack. His vision was different now. His eyesight was no higher than a few feet off the ground. He could smell earth and an oncoming rainstorm. He felt all his senses heightened and he watched the trees of the forbidden forest sway with the shift in weather. 

A still young Sirius sat back in shock on the ground. He breathed heavily but his smile enveloped his face. 

“Blimey James, You’ve bloody done it!” Sirius lets out a cathartic laugh. 

What had he done? Snape didn’t understand. 

Crack. 

He was standing back in the corridor again. James had inched himself closer to his wand and was in the process of shifting to be able to reach it. 

“What did you do?” Snape screamed, despite knowing he was unable to answer. Snape took a step forward and kicked the wand farther away and James’ eyes darkened with malice. 

“You’re too weak, as expected.” James closed his eyes. He looked like he was focusing hard. Perhaps he was trying to tuck everything he didn’t want Snape to see away in his mind. Snape let out a laugh.

“What’s wrong Potter? Not such a top student in Occlumency I see.” James furrowed his brow. Snape flicked his wand and the corridor disappeared again. 

His eyesight was normal again and he was older now. He could feel the weight of a quidditch kit on his shoulders. She was there again, looking closer to how she looked now. There was color on her cheeks much like the last memory of her. She reached out her hand and placed it softly on his arm. 

“Good Luck, Potter.” Her eyes rose to his and she gave a small smile. She had looked at Snape a thousand times, but never like that. With a quiet tenderness, not of friendship but of timid attraction. 

Snape felt his own heart flutter, despite it not being directed at him. 

Crack. 

There’s a flash of red hair. The smell of roses. Lips moving against his. He feels her hands reaching up to curl into his hair as she sighs into his mouth, letting his tongue wander into hers. She’s flushed and pressing herself up against him. 

When was this? 6th year? Later? They are in an empty classroom and the flickering lights signal that it's late at night; perhaps she was doing rounds.

Disgust and joy mix in his stomach. He had always dreamed of holding her—kissing her like this. How could Potter have been so lucky? How did she allow herself to be tricked by him so easily?

Another Crack.

Perhaps the real James was doing it on purpose--using memories of her to either drive him insane or to push away the real secrets that hid beyond. If it was true, he was succeeding on all accounts. 

Again the smell of roses. He felt her hands moving deftly around his chest. She was on top of him— no, not just on top of him, riding him. Her face was flushed, eyes blown-out and staring with an ecstatic yearning. She was still clothed, but her white blouse had been unbuttoned and the pink curve of a nipple peaked out behind the fabric. It took moments of shock before he could actually take in how good he felt. There was a heat mounting from where their bodies connected underneath her skirt. She leaned forward to put her lips against his neck; her nipples hard against his body. 

“James, I think I’m going to come.” 

Crack. 

Snape, back in his own body, slammed a fist against the stonewall of the corridor. He had known they fancied each other. He had known they were going out–had seen them too many times flaunting their relationship and snogging around the classrooms and corridors. But he didn’t know that they had done that. 

Snape’s heart pounded. On one hand the exhilaration of seeing Lily in such a state of desire—it was all he ever wanted. More than the good graces of the Dark Lord, more than any power anyone could give him. But not from his eyes. 

He gave James a swift kick to the stomach and James made a muffled wince of pain. 

“Stop toying with me,” Snape roared. He had half the mind to keep kicking him until James’ face no longer resembled the beloved Quidditch hero everyone fawned over, but he needed to try one last time. 

At this point Snape couldn’t tell what he wanted: to finally get the information he needed or to see Lily, as vile as it was, vicariously through Potters’ eyes. 

She was there again. He felt her skin pressing on his. They were both naked, lying in a four poster bed that was shrouded by curtains. She layed half draped over his body while his hand moved absentmindedly though her hair. 

This couldn’t have been, by his judgment, more than just weeks ago. 

Her body felt soft and warm, if not flushed with sweat from activities that had clearly just ended. 

She sat up abruptly, leaning one of her elbows on his chest. It was difficult to ignore the feel of her breast touching him lightly when her chest rose and fell against him. 

 She looked at him. The green in her eyes was still deep and heavy from sex; her hair fell in a ruffled mess around her face. 

“I love you.” She said it so simply. It rang out into the air and hovered there. He could feel James’ body tighten. There was a feeling of flying;of absolute joy within his chest. 

“Don’t respond yet. Please. Just— let it exist by itself for a second.” In any other circumstance it would sound like chiding. 

“I love you.” She repeated. James’ hand reached out and grabbed her chin while the other snaked around her body, twisting her so he laid on top. Their lips found each other, and he could feel how absolutely ravenous his body was for her. She responded to him, holding onto him tightly and running a hand through the hairs on the nape of his neck. 

“I love you too. Merlin, I love you. I love you. “ The words were tumbling out and Lily laughed underneath him, before letting out a sigh as his mouth started to kiss it’s way down her neck and towards the rest of her body—

Crack

He hadn’t noticed that he had started crying. He had clearly been crying for a moment as his nose had already begun to run and his cheeks were stained. He only had time to wipe his face before a voice rang out. 

Expelliarmus. 

His wand flew back. She was there. Not in one of Potter’s memories but in the flesh. She looked much like she did in the last memory he saw, but instead of pure adoration in her eyes, there was a dark hatred. She ducked down and whispered an incantation on James, which freed him from his binding. 

James quickly jumped up, grabbed his wand and slashed it in the direction of Snape, which pushed him back into the wall with crushing force, knocking the wind from his chest. 

Snape pushed himself to stand and moved to make a cutting motion in the air, but Lily jumped in front of James, arms outstretched. 

“Sev. STOP.”

It was almost ironic. The last time he had seen her stand like this, she was protecting him from Potter. 

He could hear her words ringing in his head still. I love you. But not to him.

Before he even recognized he was saying it, he cried out at her. 

“How dare you love him. After everything.” He knew he probably looked like a child; tears staining his face and dirty from the explosion earlier. Lily didn’t move from her stance but gave him a confused look. James moved forward and tried to muscle his way past her. 

“He knows how to use Legilimency Lily, he’s trying to—” but Lily pushed him back, giving Snape a small pang of satisfaction to see a bit of his Lily come through.

She turned back to him, the confusion lost and her features now hardlined. 

“How dare I? Dare I?” Her eyes were slits. This all felt remarkably familiar to Snape. He took a step back. The last time they rowed like this, she was still his friend; still saw Potter for what he was. Now, he didn’t know what she would do to him. 

But she did nothing other than speak in a flat, emotionless tone. 

“I’ll give you one chance Sev. Walk away.” James looked ready to retort, but Lily held him back with one hand. 

“Please.” She was giving him an out. Even he knew he didn’t deserve it. James’ eyes seared into him. Did you see what you wanted? Snape wanted to tear his face apart for everything James had been able to do that he couldn’t. Everything he was for her, that he wasn’t. 

Snape turned his back and felt both Lily and James’ eyes on him for a while before he could hear Lily relax. He turned just slightly to watch them. Lily now fussed with his scratched and ruddy face and James talked in quick, rough whispers to her. She kissed the side of his temple and James’ eyes caught his before he turned the corner. It didn’t matter if he had technically won the duel with him. James’ eyes reflected what Snape felt inside his gut. 

You lost. 

[momo-t-daye]

“Hey, Sirius,” said James Potter, “Why has Snape got your scarf?" “The little asshole was whinging about being cold,” Sirius shrugged, unconcerned by the chilly evening air. “I thought he might gag himself but no luck yet.” “Huh,” said James.

“I still think it’s just a marketing ploy,” the little asshole swathed in woolen scarves said thoughtfully.  “Everyone knows he doesn’t sell firewhiskey to students and his butterbeer is near rancid, but once you’ve hiked all the way up here to check out the goat it’s almost a waste of time to not buy something.” “A giant goat is quite the statement given his, ah, past legal entanglements,” Narcissa said with the sort of obvious delicacy that teetered dangerously close to turning suggestive. “It really must be seen to be believed and the last few have hardly lasted any time at all.” “It looks so flammable,” Lily Evans gushed, bubbling with malicious anticipation. The best thing about the magical world, Lily maintained, was the sheer number of holiday traditions that eventually included lighting something on fire.  Her mother’s nerves had never been up for a proper Bonfire Night and Cokeworth’s Catholics weren’t the type to celebrate it either.

“Hey, Sirius,” said James Potter, “Why has Snape got MY scarf?" “Because Evans said it was cold and you gave her your scarf to be gallant and she then handed your scarf over to him” Sirius replied, without any worries over his best friend’s apparent memory issues. “Right,” said James.

“He’s bound to have put up some anti-arson charms on this one after the fiasco with Dumbledore’s pet phoenix last year and inexplicable triple lightning strikes the year before,” Severus scoffed.  “If it’s properly phoenix-proofed— and I doubt the rest of Hogsmeade would allow him to put another goat up that wasn’t properly phoenix-proofed— we’d need a miracle to burn it down without being caught.” “We’ve got the blessings of tradition with us, Sev,” Lily replied. “Can’t you see? The goat must burn again!”

“Hey, Sirius,” said James Potter, “Why has Snape got Remus’ scarf?" “Because I was foolish enough to take my scarf off inside and Snape picked it up and put it and just looked at me when I asked for my scarf back,” Remus interjected, slightly bitter at his ignoble defeat. “Gosh,” said James.

“Twice is hardly sufficient grounds to claim a tradition,” Narcissa opined. “Three is a far more magically significant number.” “So you’re saying it’s up to us to ensure the sacred fires once more hold back the darkness!” Lily said, full of pyromaniacal resolution. “I say it’ll take planning and proper intelligence gathering, neither of which I’m inclined to do while my mouth still tastes like something died in the Hog’s Head butterbeer barrels,” Severus sighed. “Let’s stop at the Three Broomsticks, Potter will buy us all a round of the special seasonal cinnamon spiced butterbeer, and we’ll work on preparations back at school.”

“Hey,” said James Potter.  “Why hasn’t Snape got—” “Unlike you all, I know better than to leave my clothes and stuff unattended in Snape’s vicinity,” Peter interrupted, smugly snug and cozy. “Oh,” said James. It really was quite cold.

_______

For an assortment @snapecelebration's Snoliday 2023 prompts

[maxdibert]

Hey I want to ask you something. I read your blog a lot and have seen information you give about people in certain disadvantaged positions (morally/socio-economically). I am not someone who blindly supports Snape. I simply understand him as a flawed human who tried his best at some atonement. But sheltered as I am, I sometimes wonder is people can truly change? And if someone's atonement is enough?

Snape tried to save everyone, most importantly, but he emotionally scarred him. He attacked a child who had no context about any triggers plaguing Snape. JK Rowling has said on record Snape loathed him, Harry, till he died. But why? How did his immense guilt, which made him save everyone, not be at least neutral with a small child? How is it possible for a human being to be self aware about his grand mistake but then not self aware enough to bring any meaningful day to day change? Spitting on the ground when Gryffindor wins....a 30 year old man. Did only Lily matter and so the mistake he made with her was the only thing he felt guilt for? Not the mistakes he made with others. Isn't that why people say he was obsessed?

Second, Lily is dead. No amount of his "atonement" (which she will never know) will bring her back. So is there any use to atonement or is it just people trying to fix the knot in their throats when they do something bad. Because of Snape's mistake, Lily dies. She will never see Harry grow, never have a career, never have another child, never grow old. So what exactly Snape was trying to do? And for what? For Lily? She is dead and he doesn't seem to care for anyone else. So sure, he saved her child, saved the world....but what's the point. They both probably lay in separate graves, and by the time Severus even began saving Harry, Lily's flesh may already started to fall off her bones in her coffin. So what is the point?

Sorry if its too much; I am 23 and this growing and maturing stage is making me hella confused about everything.

People can change, but they must have the opportunity to change, along with the resources and support to do so. This is something Severus never has. He doesn't decide to change; he feels guilty about how his actions negatively affected someone he cares about, and at first, all he wants to do is try to prevent that mistake from turning into a tragedy. The tragedy happens anyway, and he feels that he owes it to himself and to Lily to somehow avenge everything that has happened in order to make up for the damage. It's not rational, of course Lily isn’t going to come back, but all revenge stories begin when the harm is already done and irrevocable. So, really, it's just a way for him to deal with his own feelings of guilt, his anger, and his sorrow. But still, he doesn't have the space to heal his emotional and psychological wounds. He sells his soul to Dumbledore, who conveniently uses him because he knows Severus is capable of anything to gain the validation of the moral authority (that old man) so that he can feel like he is on the right path. After selling his soul, he stops having his own life. He doesn't have a future plan beyond being useful to Dumbledore and his plans, it’s like a self-imposed sentence. He becomes a teacher, even though he doesn't like it or like children, in the same school where he spent the worst years of his life, where he suffered systematic violence, where adults ignored him and now he has to treat them as "colleagues," where he made his biggest mistakes. You can’t heal in the place of the trauma. He goes back there, and ten years later, a kid shows up who, every time he opens his mouth, reminds him of the person who tortured him nonstop. It's not rational. Severus could rationalize his antipathy toward Harry if he had received psychological help or had been given the tools to heal. He could dislike the kid or simply ignore him because he doesn’t like looking at his face, but not go beyond that. But it’s impossible because, psychologically and emotionally, he is trapped in his teenage years, which are where all his major traumas lie, and Harry’s face sadly makes all of that explode in his head every time they see each other. And since Severus is a deeply dysfunctional adult with terrible emotional control, totally deregulated when something reminds him of his traumatic past, he behaves like an idiot.

He doesn't see Harry as Lily’s son; he sees him as a version of James. And this isn't something exclusive to Severus, Sirius sees him the same way. Sirius also projects his trauma, loss, and guilt onto Harry, but the difference is that Sirius loved James, and Severus hated him. But Sirius is a good example of how Severus isn’t the only one who depersonalizes Harry in favor of James, because he even tries to make him like James, or behave the way James would have. What both of them have in common is that they are adults stuck at a point in their lives that doesn't match their age and are also emotionally unstable. Severus decides to save Harry multiple times because when he really stops to think about it rationally and doesn’t have him in front of him, he knows Harry is Lily's son, and his goal is to keep him alive. But this is something he has to remind himself constantly because his rational side is not the one that acts first; it’s a part he has to force.

I’ve always thought that Severus never forgave himself for being indirectly responsible for the death of the person who had been his attachment figure throughout his life. Deep down, Severus is one of those guys who, if you give them a little affection or acceptance, will follow you to the ends of the earth. He shows this with Dumbledore and even, why not, with the Malfoys. He’s the abused stray dog that, if you give him a bit of food and a home, will sink his teeth into anyone who comes near you to threaten you. The thing with Lily is his unfinished business, regardless of whether the past changes or not, but he feels it that way. I also think that as the years go by, it’s not all about Lily anymore, but he really develops a sense of responsibility toward the magical world. He truly wants to help and genuinely wants to defeat Voldemort, not just because of what happened with Lily, but because he believes that Voldemort needs to fall for genuine reasons. He shows this when, despite knowing that Dumbledore's plan involves sacrificing Harry, instead of refusing and telling him to go to hell, he agrees to move forward. If it were just to protect Lily’s son, he would have stepped away from the plan, but he continues because he genuinely wants to do the right thing, and the right thing is saving as many people as possible, even if it requires sacrifices.

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Things I’ve written about Snape…

Snape is such an easy character to hate, which means such fun writing conversations between him and the marauders and Lily, especially in canon universe of Boys Don’t Cry & We Can Be Heroes :

Sirius

“Snivellus, grovelling in the shadows? How terribly unexpected,” he said, straightening his shoulders.

“Levicorpus!” said Snape.

The spell just missed him by a hair’s breadth.

“If you were dying to see my dick, Sniv, you could have just asked,” he said casually, hand reaching for the buttons on his fly.

Lily

“Why do you keep staring at Potter?”

Severus’ voice was seething. He was doing that thing that really annoyed her, where he pronounced the last syllables of every word very carefully, as though he was a nasty professor talking to a class of idiots, and it made him sound so pedantic and so painful. Lily felt herself blush furiously.

“I am not!” she said, elbowing him sharply.

“Ouch!” said Severus, rubbing his arm.

She had wonderfully pointy elbows.

“Well stop being a git then,” she said, sticking her chin in the air.

Remus

“What do you think you’re doing?” Snape said, looking at him with disgust.

“I’m sitting beside you, because Lily has decided to sit beside Peter, for a change,” Remus said politely, placing his books in front of him.

“I don’t want to sit beside you,” Snape said.

“Well, that makes two of us,” Remus said, keeping his tone mild.

James

“No chance, mate,” Potter said, wand by his side, as the creature Lupin bared its teeth and moved forwards.

“Get out!” Potter hissed at him. “I won’t be able to hold him off much longer!”

Snape pulled the door. Harder, panicking. Nothing.

“Push,” Potter’s condescending tone.

James

“You won’t get away with it this time, Potter, you and your precious friends! You’re finally going to get what you deserve! And the werewolf will get what’s coming to it, I hope it gets Azkaban- “

“Shut the fuck up, you bastard! It was your decision - Nobody made you go into the shack on a full moon at wand- point. You chose to. Did you have a fucking death wish? This is on you just as much as Sirius, you fucking, massive dickhead!”

Dumbledore

Severus prided himself on his ability to look neutral when his emotions were a maelstrom. It irritated the life out of him to have to wait until practically last to be seen by the Headmaster. After all, he had done nothing wrong, he had been practically killed by a maniacal werewolf, he had the right to everybody’s sympathy, he shouldn’t be feeling an ounce of guilt. Lupin should be sitting in Azkaban as we speak, he thought. And yet, the way that Dumbledore was looking at him was making him feel distinctly uncomfortable. His neck felt prickly, his face itchy. His lank, dark hair hung partly over his face, a curtain of security against the world. His hand involuntarily reached up to scratch the back of his collar, and he brought it back quickly under control.

“Severus,” began Dumbledore. “Is there anything you wish to tell me about your plans for this summer?”

Lily

“Lily, I could see you weren’t making good decisions for yourself, so as a friend I was forced to take the necessary steps to put an end to it. I can’t say it’s been fully successful, but at least I tried. You’ll thank me in the end. You must know I’m doing this because I-“

“Don’t you dare say you’re doing this because you care for me! Trying to control me, deciding who I can be friends with, who I should be allowed to go out with – none of it has anything to do with you being my friend,” she said, her finger nails digging into her palms, her chest heaving as she failed to stop her voice breaking. She seemed to grow in stature, while he felt himself shrinking. “Well it’s never going to happen, Severus, I’m never going to want to be with you that way, no matter what you do. So stay away from me, I mean it. And as for you being my friend, you ceased being one a long time ago, through your own choices.”

James

He half turned, and his mouth fell open as he watched Snape’s Patronus approach his stag - a beautiful, self-assured, noble doe. The doe stopped in front of the stag. It tried to move sideways as though to side-step him and get to Lily. The stag looked confused, staring at the doe but refusing to move.

“The fuck?” stammered James.

“Hang on a minute, hold your fuck – I’m the one annoyed about this. Is he trying to copy me? What does this mean?” said Snape, who sounded even more horrified than James.

“Copy you?” snorted James. “I conjure my Patronus first and you accuse me of fucking copying you? Are you thick as well as annoying?”

“I think we all know that the all brawn and no brain title- “ began Snape.

“And can I just state for the record your Patronus is smaller than mine?” interrupted James.

Sirius and Peter exploded in a fit of giggles, Emmeline and Dorcas joining in.

Snape and James stared at each other with loathing.

Probably my favourite (epilogue narrator):

The details of this entire episode are recorded elsewhere, but the outcome was that Snape was arrested and charged and lost his position in Hogwarts, much to everyone else’s relief.

What he did with himself after this is not on file, as it was of limited interest to most people.

[wizardingworldlibrary]

Harry Potter & James Potter Masterlist

A Mother's Comfort and Worry (ao3) - dreamwriterhp james/lily G, 5k

Summary: After Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, Lily becomes concerned about her son. Why was his name entered for the Tri-Wizard Tournament? As she helps Harry prepare, she provides some motherly comfort.

Begin Again (ao3) - FelicisMagic18873 G, 1k

Summary: Harry Potter was born on July 31st,1980 to James and Lily Potter. If asked, the nurses would say that he was one of the most attentive and quiet babies they had ever seen, the head doctor would exclaim over the bright green eyes, unlike the blue that babies were normally born with.

His godfather, Sirius Black would grin and claim that he was the baby’s favorite, why wouldn’t he be, after all the baby had smiled for the first time in his arms. He would also swear that it was because Harry was looking at him through Lily would be quick to remind him that babies don’t have a focused vision until they were at least 8 weeks old.

Eye to Eye (ao3) - Minttushka regulus/James T, 34k

Summary: In the summer of 1976, Fleamont and Euphemia took James through Western Europe in an RV. In the summer of 1996, James wants to follow the same route with fifteen-year-old Harry to stop them from drifting apart. When they come across a dark-haired man driving a car from the 1960s with his godson in the backseat, the journey becomes one of rediscovering the word “family,” even after losses that once broke it.

i won't just survive (no you will see me thrive) (ao3) - EclipseWing T, 77k

Summary:

In which James Potter isn't as dead as everyone thought and Harry has a strong mistrust of all adults. Reconnecting with his son isn't going to be easy, not just because Harry's in Slytherin.

James Potter and his ability to not trust anyone with the life of his family. (ao3) - surrealdelicacy james/lily T, 5k

Summary: James Potter gives a huge fuck you to Dumbledore's idea of protection and does as he pleased and changed the course of his family's fate.

Loving Without Time to Love at All (ao3) - orphan_account draco/harry E, 2k

Summary: After he's gone back and time and stopped Voldemort from ever beginning, Harry is left one day before his actions cause him to cease to exist.

[Or: The one where Harry Potter hugs everyone.]

Message From Beyond the Grave (ao3) - jmagnabosco sirius/james, james/lily T, 2k

Summary: It's been a week since Sirius fell beyond the veil, lucky for him, the mirrors that he created with James are working despite being dead and can let him, James and Lily be that emotional support that Harry needs as he navigates his sixth year of school.

Harry's return home to the Dursleys gives Lily a chance to set things right for Harry by confronting her sister.

remembrance (ao3) - thywildeflower james/lily G, 641

Summary: In an empty graveyard in Godric’s Hollow, Harry Potter sees his parents' gravestone for the first time.

On a cold, Christmas Eve night, he mourns the life he never had.

The Heart In The Tree (ao3) - spulenspul seamus/harry, harry/dean, seamus/harry/dean M, 438k

Summary: The future is murky and prone to shift. The best laid plans are never fool proof. When Harry woke abruptly to an incredible surge of magical power, the destiny he thought lay before him suddenly changed.

With the looming threat of Voldemort ever present, the future of three of the magical worlds most powerful noble families have been ensnared by the machinations of a different yet just as dangerous enemy. With the support of those who came before him, Harry must uncover the truth behind the betrayals he'd faced, and do whatever he could to make things right.

the miracle came with a pop (ao3) - dorypop james/lily G, 52k

Summary: (or: the one Time Travel AU where several parental figures in Harry's life plus Harry himself (aged 11) travel back in time to the Marauder's Era. Featuring koala!Harry and a very bitter Severus Snape)

Under the Trapdoor (ao3) - SamaraXX james/lily G, 20k

Summary: "Today, he struggled to accept that he had been able to dine, chat, and celebrate in this room without ever thinking that, beneath that carpet, under that trapdoor, in that cellar, James Potter had been locked away for eleven years."

James Potter, imprisoned beneath a trapdoor in Malfoy Manor, finally has the chance to escape—and reunite with his son.

Without You (ao3) - camichats sirius/james T, 3k

Summary: It was Sirius's idea to have a kid. So why is James doing it all alone?

[fafodill]

hi! I read your deprivation essay and loved it and agree to a large extent that Snape deliberately starved himself of many life's pleasures. but it was also eye opening as an asexual how it must feel for others to not engage in any sexual activity, the crankiness and maybe the self-loathing that comes with it so I hope for Snape's sake he's also somewhere on the asexual spectrum lol. but overall I can easily see how he only allows himself having bare minimum of everything. p.s. I love your art!

Oh hiii, thank you so much for your kind words I'm so glad you liked it and thank you for my art it means a lottt ! <3 <3 <3

Him being asexual is also a headcanon some people have ! I pondered about it quite a bit when I was writing the deprivation essay, because it could also be a possibility. He'd still be traumatized by SWM ofc and it would have still influenced his way of handling nudity, intimacy and trust (because one can be asexual but still enjoy skin-to-skin or cuddling or..). If he was asexual he'd never put the word on it though, if we consider the era he grew up in, so he would have just been like "I don't care about this, give me a ancient tome on the dark arts instead".

I wouldn't be surprised if he was somewhere on that spectrum. It's totally up to interpretations. :)

I personally love him being deprived and think it goes quite well with his perpetually sour mood and short-temper though. Like the man is never letting go, he's always pushing through with unpleasant stuff, his work, his role as a double agent, dealing with Dumbledore, deadlines etc. For many people, sex can be a very good way of taking a break while taking care of themselves, taking some time to focus on their bodies and their pleasure. He doesn't. He just works until he's too exhausted to keep working, sleeps (badly) for a few hours then goes back to working after eating half a toast. And do love to imagine him having to forcefully reconnect with his needs in different situations.

And just in general having people pointing out to him that he's not taking care of himself. He'd hate it (because how dare you BABY HIM) but he totally needs to hear it haha (have the biscuit Severus we both know you want it and don't act like you don't because I've seen you eat some a few months ago when you thought no one was looking and I know you like cinnamon shut up just eat the damn biscuit it won't kill you)

[theboywhoarrive10minsearlier]

The Castle of houses

Hagrid’s voice echoed across the platform as he called for the first years.

"Firs'-years! Over here!" Harry started to pull his trunk, but Draco stopped him with an unimpressed look.

"Don’t bother," he said. "It’ll be taken care of. We are not servants." Harry hesitated but let go. It did feel strange… but also right. As they boarded the small boats, Harry turned to Draco.

"You said I’m the heir of Potter—a Potions Grand Master?" Draco looked at him like he had just admitted he didn’t know what a broom was.

"You really are clueless," he sighed. "Yes, Harry. Your grandfather built a fortune in potions mastery. Your net worth should be billions of Galleons. Assuming, of course, that at twenty-one, your father hadn’t already spent it recklessly. But knowing how little time he had… I doubt he even touched his inheritance."

Harry froze. "Billions?" He thought back to his vault at Gringotts. He had been shocked by the amount of gold in it. But if Draco was right… that was only a fraction of what he truly owned.

"Yes, billions," Draco repeated. "You should have had house-elves for everything. Custom-made clothes from birth. Villas. Summer estates. Everything. Instead, you were raised by Muggles like some kind of orphaned stray. It’s a disgrace. We need to find out who allowed this." The boats carried them across the lake, and Hogwarts loomed ahead—vast, towering, and glowing with the flickering lights of the Great Hall.

Professor McGonagall stood at the entrance, her sharp eyes scanning the group of first years.

"You will soon be Sorted into your houses," she announced. "Your house will be your family here at Hogwarts. Your triumphs will earn you points; your rule-breaking will lose them. At the end of the year, the house with the most points will be awarded the House Cup." As she disappeared inside to prepare the Sorting Ceremony, Draco turned to Harry.

"I have to be in Slytherin," he muttered. "Otherwise, I might as well be disowned." Harry frowned. "Don’t dark wizards usually end up there?" Draco scoffed.

"Dark doesn’t mean bad, Potter. Besides, you can’t deny that the greatest wizards came from Slytherin. Merlin. Grindelwald. Even Vol—" He caught himself. "You-Know-Who. Like it or not, they were powerful." Harry gave him a look.

"You sound like Ollivander."

Draco smirked. "Maybe. That old man’s seen them all." He tilted his head. "You should consider Slytherin too, Potter. You’d fit better than you think."

The line moved forward. A red-haired boy sat under the hat. Draco sneered.

"Weasley." Harry had overheard him saying nasty things about Hermione earlier. Unsurprisingly, the hat barely hesitated before placing him in Gryffindor. The other redheads cheered as he ran to their table. Then it was Hermione’s turn. The Sorting Hat stalled.

"Some students take longer," Draco whispered. "They’re called ‘Hatstalls.’ She must have strong qualities for both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw." At last, the hat shouted,

"Gryffindor!" and Hermione rushed to the table. Draco sighed.

"Pity." Then his name was called. Draco Malfoy barely had to sit before the hat declared,

"Slytherin!" The Slytherin table erupted in cheers. Harry was next. As he stepped forward, he felt the Sorting Hat slip onto his head. A voice echoed in his mind.

"Ah… a complex one. So many possibilities. Ambition… courage… a thirst to prove yourself…" Harry swallowed

. "I don’t know anything about this world. Do what you think is best." The hat chuckled. "Interesting. Very well… SLYTHERIN!"

The Great Hall went silent. The teachers at the high table stiffened. Hagrid’s mouth hung open in shock. Dumbledore pressed his lips into a thin line. Snape’s gaze flickered, sharp and calculating. At the Slytherin table, Draco smirked triumphantly and made room for Harry to sit beside him.

Professor Quirrell muttered,

"I met the boy. I didn’t expect him to be in oversized rags, Snape. Do you know where he was kept all these years?" Snape’s expression remained unreadable.

"I don’t." He glanced at Quirrell. "Oversized rags, you said?"

"Yes. Such a pity. Maybe he was just trying to blend in with Muggles." Quirrell sneered. "Though their fashion sense is appalling."

At the Slytherin table, Draco introduced Harry to everyone. As the feast began, he watched in growing concern as Harry ate like someone who hadn’t had a proper meal in months.

"Slow down, mate. You’re going to make yourself sick," he warned. "There’s plenty more food tomorrow."

Harry blinked. "Wait… this is a regular meal?" Draco’s frown deepened.

"Yes, Potter. Three meals a day, every day." He hesitated.

"You… you haven’t been eating three meals a day, have you?" Harry stopped chewing.

The realization hit him like a Bludger to the chest. Draco looked horrified. Across the table, a Slytherin prefect caught Draco’s expression and raised a brow. Draco barely hesitated.

"Can we arrange a meeting with Professor Snape tonight? We have an urgent matter." The prefect nodded, standing to deliver the request. Snape arrived in the Slytherin common room an hour later. His sharp gaze flicked over Draco and Harry.

"You had better have a good reason for interrupting my evening, Malfoy." Draco squared his shoulders. "I do, sir. He—" He motioned to Harry. "He is the matter."

Snape’s brow arched slightly. He motioned for them to follow. Once inside his office, he shut the door. Draco wasted no time.

"Sir, Potter was raised in a household that treated him worse than a house-elf. They barely fed him. He lived in a cupboard for eleven years. A Potter—one of the most ancient and noble families—living like a servant." Snape's fingers tightened around his wand. His normally blank expression flickered—just for a second.

"Is this true, Potter?" Harry hesitated. "Well… yes, sir, but it wasn’t that bad—" Something in the air shifted. Harry’s stomach twisted. His magic, unpredictable and volatile, rippled slightly. Snape noticed. His gaze sharpened.

"Breathe, Potter. You are safe here. Let go. Calm yourself." His voice dropped. "You were at her sister’s, weren’t you?" Harry’s breath caught.

He stared at Snape, panic flashing in his eyes. Snape held his gaze for a moment before turning to Draco.

"Owl your father," he ordered. "Now." He grabbed parchment and a quill, scrawled a note, and handed it to Draco. "Send this as well." Draco nodded and left. Snape turned back to Harry.

"You mentioned her sister. How do you know Petunia was my mother’s sister?" Harry asked cautiously. Snape exhaled slowly.

"I knew your mother, Potter. She nearly became an Obscurial because of her sister’s spiteful words and twisted mind." He glanced at Harry’s posture. "If caught early enough, we can reverse it. I hope we can do the same for you."

Harry frowned. "What’s an Obscurial?" Snape’s gaze darkened.

"An affliction. A deadly one. It forms when a magical child is forced to suppress their abilities. Left untreated, it will consume them." His voice was clipped.

"Who is your assigned tutor?" Draco reentered the room. "Apparently, I am," Harry admitted. Snape’s jaw clenched.

"Why was Weasley assigned a tutor… but you were not?" He took a breath.

"Go to bed. Tomorrow will be difficult." Snape turned sharply, robes billowing behind him, and stalked toward Dumbledore’s office. Tomorrow, everything would change.

The grand fireplace in Malfoy Manor crackled, casting long shadows against the polished marble floors. Lucius stood near the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a glass of firewhisky. Narcissa, draped in an elegant silk robe, sat with perfect posture on the chaise lounge, her brow furrowed in thought.

Neither had spoken since returning from King’s Cross. Until Narcissa broke the silence.

“He wasn’t just wearing rags, Lucius.” Her voice was measured but sharp.

“Those were the same ones he wore at Diagon Alley. Days ago.”

Lucius exhaled through his nose, swirling the amber liquid in his glass.

“I noticed.”

“So did I.” Her fingers tapped against the armrest.

“Too thin. And I swear, I saw bruises.”

Lucius turned sharply. “You think he’s being mistreated?”

“I think,” she said carefully, “that the Boy-Who-Lived should not look like an orphan from Knockturn Alley.”

Lucius set his glass down, his movements precise.

“But he is an orphan, Narcissa.”

Her icy glare cut through him. “And yet, that Muggle boy—Dudley, was it?—was well-fed. Dressed properly. Not rotting in oversized, threadbare cloth.”

Lucius’ fingers tightened around the edge of the table. Before he could respond, a loud crack echoed through the room.

Dobby appeared, bowing so low his nose nearly touched the floor.

“Master! Mistress! I has done what was asked!”

Narcissa’s eyes flicked to the elf. “And?”

Dobby wrung his hands.

“Harry Potter’s cousin… he has much. Too much! Clothes that fit, a whole wardrobe! Too much food, he is fat—very fat!” His large eyes watered. “But Harry Potter, he gets nothing, Mistress! Nothing of his own!”

The air

In the room shifted. Narcissa inhaled deeply, closing her eyes for a moment. “Lucius.” Her voice was soft, but it held an edge of finality. “You need to adopt that boy.”

Lucius sighed, rubbing his temple. “It’s already in motion.”

Continue to Chapter 3

[petals2fish]

There is a clear moral distinction between killing in self-defense or protection and taking the life of someone who poses no immediate threat. Killing for protection is often seen as a necessary act in extreme circumstances, while killing without such justification is considered morally wrong because it lacks the imperative of defense or survival.

Given Snape’s past as a Death Eater, it’s highly likely that he has taken lives, whether through direct action or as part of a group. His close involvement in Voldemort’s inner circle, and the trust Voldemort placed in him—such as revealing the prophecy that targeted the Potters—suggests that Snape had proven himself through acts of violence, possibly including murder. He was indirectly responsible for the Potters' deaths, having informed Voldemort about the prophecy in the first place. As a spy, Snape would have witnessed, overheard, or participated in many acts that resulted in casualties. It’s hard to imagine anyone rising to such a high rank within Voldemort’s ranks without engaging in the same brutal actions as the other Death Eaters, including acts like torture, which often led to death.

I believe Snape’s soul was already scarred by his past, even if some of the deaths he was connected to were indirect or in self-defense. I think he did regret a lot of what he did, and that’s part of the reason he’s so bitter and nasty to everyone. He has always, always lashed out when he’s hurt. He turned all that guilt into a hatred and bitterness over any happiness because he’s literally never been happy. But the guilt rages on, and I’m positive he tried his hardest to make up for it by being loyal to Dumbledore…even though he could never let his hatred for the marauders (aka James Potter) and anything associated with them go…thereby making him particularly nasty to Harry.

BUT I DIGRESS. The murder of Albus Dumbledore was different for Snape—a premeditated act that was both personal and emotionally charged. Killing someone he knew well, who had trusted him, would likely have a much deeper impact on his conscience than killing a stranger in the chaos of war. The betrayal involved in taking Dumbledore’s life, with whom he had a bond, would have weighed heavily on his soul, creating far more guilt and inner turmoil than the detached violence of war ever could. The emotional gravity of killing a trusted figure would have corroded his soul much more.

ALSOOOO, I believe Snape deeply regretted revealing the prophecy to Voldemort, though his remorse was not exactly produced from noble intentions. Lmaooo His motives were entirely selfish. Snape’s request to save Lily was not out of a sense of justice or compassion, but purely because of his own unrequited love. Lily, of course, would never have stepped aside to save herself at the expense of her son. She died protecting Harry, and Snape had to live with the bitter truth that she sacrificed her life for a child she had with James Potter—the very man Snape had despised for years. This awareness must have tormented him deeply, a burden he carried to his last breath. She always, always chose James.

Snape’s inner conflict is heightened by the contrast between his feelings for the Potters. He spent a lifetime harboring hatred for James Potter while remaining hopelessly in love with Lily Evans. This dichotomy—his love for one and hatred for the other—became even more fateful driven as their union produced Harry, the child Snape would be forced to protect for Dumbledore as a spy for the rest of his life. The irony of this situation is not lost on me as a reader. Snape’s love for Lily bound him to a lifelong duty to guard her son, yet he had to constantly confront the fact that this child was also James Potter’s son. His role as Harry’s protector was not just a reflection of his loyalty to Dumbledore, but a complex penance for his past mistakes, an attempt to honor Lily’s memory while wrestling with the bitter resentment he felt toward Harry’s father.

[jundsthoughts]

Declaration of House Nott - A Drabble

Hi, hello, enjoy? Maybe? Almost 1200 words (1187) of Theo making his first move on the political scene, all the way back at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban. Just a thing that might stay as is for an eventual fic, cause it was in my head and I needed it to not be anymore.

Theo takes a deep breath, letting calm flood through his veins as he slows his frantic pace to a trot. You must be stern, Theodore, the words echo in his ears, no one will listen if you blabber around like that. Another breath, too cold for how early it is in the night. He knows that father won’t question why this is his first move, even if it’s something as risky as this that he would undoubtedly expect to be doomed to failure. Mother had always been the one to warn him out of decisions, after all; father simply let him fail and then explained why after.

He shakes his head as he turns another corner and can already hear raised voices from inside the Hospital Wing. Another breath, blows out through his nose as steel straightens his spine, and a cold fire fills his eyes. Speak of what you know, and they will listen.

“Minister.” He calls, stepping into the room, stepping through the heavy doors and letting them close behind him. It’s a close thing, but he only looks to the side as Madam Pomfrey shoves a bar of chocolate into Harry’s mouth to shut him up—something about the Confundus?—as he looks between Professor Snape and the Minister himself.

“Ah, yes? And who-” The Minister starts, only for the Professor to answer his question.

“Mister Nott, are you injured?” He asks, taking a step forward, eyes scanning his almost pristine clothing.

Theo shakes his head before turning to face the Minister fully, “The Ancient House of Nott demands that the Ministry recall all Dementors from Hogwarts. And to rescind the Kiss on Sight Order.”

The words barely finish leaving his mouth before Snape’s face twists from the concerned look he’d had a moment ago into a sneer worse than he’s ever seen directed towards Harry or Longbottom. All the while, the Minister blusters and sputters like a tap with faulty pressure.

“When did you come into contact with Black?” He snarls, stepping even closer as his black eyes try to look into his own. Theo only spares him a confused look, wondering why he thinks he’d been in contact with the man, before refocusing on the Minister.

“I haven’t. Is he in the castle again?”

“Yes, dear boy, that’s why I couldn’t possibly—But once the fugitive has been taken-” Fudge starts, wringing his hands along the brim of his bowler hat.

“My father and our allies won’t take kindly to you refusing an order from the Wizengamot, Minister.”

Fudge worries his lip, looking at him with wide eyes before they dart around to Professor Snape and then towards Harry. Everyone's eyes snap over to Snape as he practically growls and then scoffs.

“Clearly, Black has used his family magic to Confund everyone in this school.” He says as the doors to the Hospital Wing open and the Headmaster walks in.

“I can assure you, Severus, that he has not.” His twinkling blue eyes snap to Theo before glancing between Harry and his friends. “I have spoken with Mr. Black and I must ask to speak to Harry and Ms. Granger alone-”

“Absolutely not!” Madam Pomfrey yells, trying once more to tend to her patients.

“Albus I can’t see why-”

“Minister,” Theo says once more, his voice hardened and only raised slightly. “You would not enjoy the consequences the Wizengamot can bring if you do not comply.”

Dumbledore sighs, looking at him with pity. “While I am sure the Wizengamot would enjoy seeing swift justice, this would not be it, Mr. Nott.”

“I am certain that it is.”

“Albus, Mr. Nott has-”

“Heir Nott for now, Minister.” He says in a clipped tone

“Yes, of course, Heir Nott has demanded—”

“You cannot be thinking of listening to a child!” Snape bellows. 

Theo spares him a glance, fascinated at how unhinged the man is acting. Not once before has he heard of, much less seen, his Head of House acting out in this way. Madness is easy to shy away from. He takes a quiet breath.

“If he was in his right mind, he would not be advocating for a murderer to run free!”

“Are you well, Professor?” He asks blandly if genuinely, as he almost comes off as bored, “There are spells to check if you feel the need. However, Minister, that does not change what the Wizengamot will be requesting before sunrise.”

“What did your Father ask you to relay, Mr. Nott?” Dumbledore asks, his hand raising being the only thing to stop Professor Snape’s ranting. It wasn’t a silencing charm, Theo is sure of it, surely his debt doesn’t run that deep? “Surely you can see that execution is not something to be condoned?”

“Not in this case.” Theo says, feeling an odd delight curl against his spine as Dumbledore looks genuinely confused for a moment, before it turns wary.

“Ah, it was Lord Nott who asked this?” The Minister asks, turning to Theo with something like hope in his eyes, oblivious to the Headmaster’s incorrect assumptions.

“It is a demand made by my House. The bearer of it matters very little, I am sure you’re aware.” The Minister pales, and out of the corner of his eye, Theo see’s Dumbledore’s lips thin slightly.

“If I may know… what request you have made, Mr. Nott.”

“I’m sure the Minister can inform you if he needs help from the Headmaster or Chief Warlock.” He says, turning slightly to look at the man's beard for a moment before turning back to the Minister expectantly.

“Well-yes, but we shouldn’t—and what would the public think—” He seems to waiver under his gaze until he nods decisively. “We’ll take him in. We can’t possibly go against what the House’s wish.”

Snape, his leash no longer holding, snarls once more. “You would listen to a child? One who thinks he knows what this murderer is capable of? He will be loose before the night is over if he is not dealt with!”

“Severus he has no killed-”

“He attempted it at 16! Surely he has not made you so addled that you have forgotten that? And what of the Potters, and Pettigrew?” Theo watches as the Minister looks at the Professor in confusion, with Dumbledore’s eyes sharpening.

“I fear that I remember these events clearer than you do.”

Snape scoffs, “So you believe in children's stories too? Of the dead coming back to life?”

“I find that they hold lessons that many of us forget as we grow older.” Theo follows his line of sight, brows furrowing as they land on Harry. Why would Harry’s view of children's stories matter? “But, if the Minister will be listening to young Mr. Nott?”

Theo tunes out the Minister’s blundering, the platitudes Dumbledore says to him, before turning chiding words onto Professor Snape. Instead, he looks past them to Harry, quickly scanning his pale face as the chocolate seems to revitalize him. It’s not perfect, he thinks, but he should be safer now. He leaves the room shortly after, feeling an unlikely trio watching him. One, at least, he feels comfortable with.