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#and every morning the way home gets longer and longer
gilverrwrites · 2 days
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Best friends to lovers, but it's Dick Grayson.
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≈1.3K words, CWs: F!Reader, cunnilingus, dirty talk. Pet-names: Princess, baby girl, pretty girl. Rating: 18+ MINOR DNI
Your best friend Dick Grayson has no boundaries.
He helps himself to your food, swapping and changing dumplings for noodles, carrots for celery, dips his fries in your milkshake, without even asking.  
He leaves his dirty clothes in your washing hamper, ‘borrows’ your lotions, and leaves his streaming services logged in on all your devices. In the winter he puts his cold hands under your shirt, stealing your warmth, and laughs when you flinch. “But you’re so hot!” He whines, hugging you tighter, “Let me hold you a while longer, please.”
In the summer he struts around your apartment, shirtless and sheening with sweat, eating your ice cream, pumping up the AC so he and Haley can chill out post-run. Not that you mind, it’s just that ‘oh, no, he’s my best friend’ is a hard sell when you bring dates home.
At random hours of the early morning, he wakes you up by crawling into bed with you, clings to the over-sized shirt you're sleeping in that is clearly his and makes fun of your tattered old underwear. “They’re comfy!” “They’re… something...” He trails off, all dreamy and quiet, refusing to expand before falling asleep, and is gone by the time you wake up.  
Your best friend Dick Grayson brings you gifts from all over the world. Chocolates from that one mom-and-pop you once mentioned in Keystone, jewellery, and perfume he probably paid way too much for from market vendors in cities like Paris and Istanbul, risqué pieces of underwear from Milan.
On late nights, he rests his head on your tummy, settled between your thighs as you watch your favourite film series for the nth time, smiling to himself as you babble on about your favourite scenes, about facts he already knows because you already told him, but he wants to hear you say it again anyway. When you start falling asleep on the couch, he lifts you, bridal style with ease, and carries you to the bedroom. “Come on then princess, let’s get you to bed.” “I can do it myself.” “You can’t even keep your eyes open, let me.”
He brushes stray pieces of hair out of your face when you’re too engrossed in something to do it yourself, when your hands are too full to reach, or when he wants to get a better look at you, just because he loves looking at your face.
“Um, what are you doing?” He nonchalantly hooks his finger into the waistband of your trousers, disappointed when he gets a not-too-subtle peek at neither your endearing threadbare usuals, nor the lacey Italian ones he’d bought for you.
Your best friend Dick Grayson flirts with you blatant and publicly;
“The red or the blue?” “Neither.” “I have to wear something!” “I’d love to see you wearing nothing.” “Wear the blue, always the blue.” Jason would never let it go otherwise.   “What do you want?” “You.” “I meant to eat.” “Same answer.” “I could never be you.” “What? Why?” “Must be tiring, being that cute.”
He texts you when you’re not together. “Good morning pretty girl” “saw this and thought of you.” “What are you wearing?”
One day you text back a picture, a mirror selfie from behind, your skirt hiked up, showing off the tiny navy-blue thong and he doesn’t text back. You worry that you’ve taken it too far, overstepped a line. 
Until your best friend Dick Grayson is waiting for you when you arrive home, sporting a nasty black eye and a smile the size of titan tower. In actuality, that image was exactly what he’d been hoping for every time he messaged. That image had been ingrained in his mind since you sent it, and it was one thousand times better than he’d imagined. That image was his hook, time to reel you in.
“Sorry I didn’t text back, I was speechless. No really, I got this” he points to the purple bruise forming around his eye “because I was distracted, thinking about you.”
“It’s cool, you didn’t have to say anything.” You lie. “Not like you haven’t seen it all before.” 
“Can I see it again?”
In the middle of your cramped kitchen, your best friend Dick Grayson lifts your skirt above your waist and drops to his knees, brazenly eying your folds. On request, you take the skirt from his hands, holding it up, exposing yourself as you do a little twirl for him, letting him see the full picture. 
When he lands a playful smack on your ass-cheek he grins, thrilled by the playfully petulant look you fire at him over your shoulder. When he runs a finger over your clothed slit, he’s even more delighted by the way your body shivers, by the hint of wetness he can feel seeping through the thin piece of fabric.   
You don’t stop him when he hooks a finger in the crotch, pulling the obstructing lace to the side, or when he runs his fingers through your now exposed lips. Deft fingers tease you, ghosting over your clit with no real fiction, making your pussy clench around nothing. 
“Want something?” The sight of him at your feet, watching you through defiant eyes has you weak.  
“Yes, touch me.” The sight of you, spread and writhing has him near feral, but he wants something more. 
“I’m already touching you, Princess.” He laughs, his warm breath against your slick tingles. If his breath is enough to make you quiver, he can’t wait to find out what his tongue will do to you. “Ask for something else. Nicely.”
You’re not sure exactly what he wants you to say, so you stammer the first words that come to mind; “Please Dick, stop teasing. Just do whatever you want to do, I want it too.” 
It’s enough. 
Your best friend Dick Grayson lifts you by your knees, setting you on the counter and securing your thighs over his shoulders as he descends on your folds. He’s messy and desperate, unable to get enough of your sweetness, darting his tongue in every direction until he finds the select few motions that have your fingers curling in his hair, have you panting his name between loose lips.
When you start to roll your hips, using his mouth for your own pleasure he can’t help but moan, the reverb sending further vibrations through your body that has your toes curling. He’s rock hard, itching to palm his cock, to grind it against the closest surface, but that’s an afterthought. He won’t get off until he’s lapped up your climax at least once. 
“Are you gonna cum for me?” His words are slurred, muffled between your legs, unwilling to pull away long enough to get his words out cohesively. “I want you to cum all over my face, okay baby girl?”
If he wasn’t already salivating against you, Dick’s mouth would water at the sight of you. Your body begins to jerk, your back arching, head thrown back as your orgasm hits you, his firm hands tighten around your legs, locking your lower body in place until all your tension is gone, and his face is soaked with your fluids. 
As you come down from your high, he savours the flavour, occasionally licking up stray droplets from your skin. He admires the way you look, head lolled to the side, eyes static under heavy lids, jaw slack, until it’s too much, until he needs to see you high on his doing once more. Without warning he lifts you. The collar of his shirt is damp, his cheeks are flushed, his hair a mess.
“Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable for round two.” Your best friend Dick Grayson says as he cradles your body in his arms. 
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luvj4key · 23 hours
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Heyy 𖹭 luv ur writing!
I was wondering if you could possibly do a Ni-ki x Reader (best friends who like eachother tho, not dating) where Ni-ki shows up at readers house at like midnight to bring her over to his place instead. Or something along those lines where reader doesn't wanna be in her own house and Ni-ki helps her thru it ykyk?
Thankuuu :33
a place where i can go - nrk
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○ pairing: bsf!ni-ki x gn!reader ○ genre: fluff, a hint of angst ○ word count: 1.3k ○ warnings: reader is overwhelmed with life, ni-ki and reader have a interesting relationship but aren't doing anything to solve it ○ author's note: thank you so much anon for being so patient with me and thank you for requesting ! i hope i did you justice with this request, enjoy reading <33
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“i’m on my way” was the last thing riki texted you before leaving you - once again - alone with your thoughts. he’s currently on his way to pick you up and bring you to his place instead because you honestly couldn’t stand being at home right now. you have been bombarded with work and school and life just keeps throwing things at you. you couldn’t take it anymore. you needed to escape. and the first thing that came to mind was texting riki. he is the one you always go to with no hesitation. and he’ll always be the one to drop everything he’s doing to make sure you’re okay. 
you packed a bag filled with all your necessities for the night and next morning since you planned on spending the night with riki. this wasn’t anything new. in fact, you spent the night at his place quite often. you can even say that you slept better at his place than yours. you just felt safe and secure in his presence. your phone pinged, “here” riki said. you quickly thumbs up his message and left your house.
“hey,” you greeted him after you got into his car, “i’m so sorry for texting so late, i swear i was gonna go crazy if i stayed in that house for any longer.”
“no it’s okay,” he shook his head and pulled you in for a hug, “you doing okay?” he asked with a concerned look.
“yeah i just…i needed to get out for a bit. to breathe a little, you know?” he gave you a reassuring smile and nodded.
“let’s go home?” he grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb on top of it.
you nodded, “let’s go home.”
as you drove to his place, he never once let go of your hand. every now and then, he would spare you a few glances, smiling at you whenever the two of you made eye contact - making you feel at ease. not a single word had to be said between you.
once arriving at riki’s place, he leaves you in the living room to get settled while he runs to grab some blankets and pillows for the two of you. he returns shortly after and seats himself next to you. the soft glow from the tv illuminated the room, creating a cozy ambiance. in the background, a faint melody from your favorite movie played. it was clear that you were still stuck in your head. riki didn’t fail to notice as you stared down at your lap, fidgeting with your fingers, "do you want to talk about it?" he asked, softly nudging your shoulder .
you shrugged, "there's not really much to talk about, life happens and it gets overwhelming sometimes," you sighed and laid your head against his shoulder, "i just needed to escape for a bit, you know?"
you can hear him chuckle under his breath, "just say you wanted to see me," he teased, "’it’s okay, i won’t judge because you’re down bad for me." 
you scoffed,playfully pushing his face away, "alright enough," it was silent before the two of you started to laugh, "you're the one who jumped at the opportunity to come get me."
riki stopped laughing and said, "well, who else would you go to? i promised that i'd always be there for you, didn’t i?"
"that's true," you murmured, "you're really all i have at this point."
he opened his mouth to say something but quickly stopped, taking a moment to find the right words, "is that a bad thing?"
"not at all, honestly..." you shook your head, "i wouldn't even trade it for the world. i’m pretty happy with the way things are." you grinned, looking over at him to which you noticed that his eyes were already on you, even glimmering in the darkness. you felt yourself getting lost in his eyes. your heartbeat increased.
he was the first one to break eye contact, "this is quite an interesting relationship you and i have." he said in a teasing tone. he looked over to your lap and grabbed your hand that was currently resting on it. he had this habit of playing with your fingers whenever he was bored. it was something you've always found endearing.
"yeah," you dragged out, "friendship..."
he was right about your relationship being “interesting”. both of you have known for quite some time that you have strong mutual feelings for each other. but what have you done about it? absolutely nothing. you’re still labeled as “just friends”. it kind of just became an unspoken thing between you two. to be fair though, there were reasons behind this. one, you’re not really in a rush to move forward with your relationship plus with how hectic your life is right now, you’re afraid that could take away from the fun of being together. you’re already in a good place with him so you don’t feel so obligated to take the next step so soon. and two, even if things did go well and you finally start dating riki, you're afraid that it might change things between you two. you're scared of the fact that you could potentially lose him. so what do you do to avoid this? keep it all to yourself.
a heavy silence filled the air as none of you had any idea what to say next. mentally cursing at yourself for making things awkward, your eyes looked at anything but riki.
the next few words that left his mouth caused you to bring your attention back towards him, “…do you ever think about if we weren’t just friends?” he hesitantly asked.
“do you?”
“i asked you first.”
letting out a breath, you admit, “i do and it scares me sometimes,” you felt his hand squeeze yours, encouraging you to continue, “because there would be a chance of me losing you whether it’d be because we break up or things just get weird once we actually start dating. i just can’t stand the idea of not having you in my life, riki.”
“hey,” he grabbed your face and gently rubbed his thumbs against your cheeks, “my promise i made to you will never be broken. i’m not going anywhere. and even if things don’t work out between us…i’ll make sure that everything’s going to be okay. you’re important to me too so i’ll do everything in my power to keep you in my life.”
“you promise?” you looked into his eyes.
“i promise,” not wanting to overstep his boundaries, he leans in to press a kiss on your forehead, “i got you.”
you have him and he has you. and that’s all that matters. 
“i know you’re probably not ready to move forward with our relationship and that’s totally okay. i don’t ever want you to think i’m rushing you, but i want you to know that i’ll always wait for you. as long as it takes, y/n.” 
“riki-“ you started but you were interrupted.
“you don’t need to say anything, i don’t want you worrying about anything else. we're here to get your mind off of everything. it’s just something i needed to say.”
the only thing you could do was nod at him. there was so much you wanted to say but for some reason, you weren’t able to verbalize it. but somehow riki understood it all. you didn’t need to say a thing for him to understand. that’s how it’s always been. he knew you too well.
putting everything aside, the two of you spent the rest of the night talking and joking around, all your troubles long forgotten. you felt your eyes get heavier and heavier and shortly after you found yourself fast asleep in riki’s warm and secure embrace.
watching as you slept soundly in his arms, riki knew that he would give you the entire world if he could. friend or lover, he’ll never let you go regardless.
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©luvj4key, all work is written by me. do not copy or repost
taglist: @j-jinxee @j4keluver
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echantedtoon · 3 days
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YANDERE DEMONS AND BRIDES
Been thinking about this for a while now and I don't know if it counts as yandere but it is how the demons take a bride (or husband for the lady demons unless you also want to imagine that it's a lady.)Yeah. I know old trope but I really like this trope and I wanted to make headcannons for the Upper Moons. I think they'd all have a certain main element fueling that desire for their specific Bride(or Groom for the ladies).
When it comes to the lady demons like Nakime I'll leave Y/n's gender up in the air for anyone to interpret if the ladies also get a wife or if you prefer them to get a husband.
Warnings for yandere-ish (???) themes, kidnapping mentions, possibly death mentioned, mentioned wounds and scars, mentioned illness, mentioned bad vision, etc.
If any of these warnings upset you pls don't read. I will be including Daki/Ume in the line up as part of Gyutaro's part but she will be strictly PLATONIC yandere!! Absolutely NO romance between her and reader!! And her parts will be minor.
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KOKUSHIBO:
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HARBORMENT
-You have to be a very specific kind of person to attract this man's attention. I think it'd most likely be one of two things that guarantee his bold interest. 1. you are a reincarnation of his wife or 2. you remind him of someone he used to love long ago but never could have especially if you were close to/was with Yoriichi. But whatever the case he finds himself taken by your familiar being.
-He doesn't even know why he bothers with it. But he can't help but watch you from afar. The old feelings resurfacing. He tells himself that it doesn't matter anymore. Most likely you wouldn't remember him even if you were a past lover, and even if you did you'd most likely believe him dead by now or want nothing to do with him.
-He is perfectly content with just watching you live out your life. He's learnt so much about you through just secretly watching. He learns your favorite tea, you love long walks at morning, you work just around the corner at a tailor shop.
-He's content until it no longer becomes enough. He starts to wonder. Do you still smile the way you used to? Do you still wear the same sweet perfume you did back then? He walks into your work one day in disguise. You weren't there being so late, but he ends up buying a Jacket you personally tailored.
-Muzan definitely knows about you. He knew the exact moment Kokushibo saw you. He just doesn't care and sorta lets Kokushibo get away with it being his most loyal demon. He doesn't allow his obsession to interfere with his missions and in turn Muzan is idgaf.
-He is a very traditional man and believes in courting a woman before marriage. In his mind you both are still married/together, he just needs to make you aware of it again. So he starts leaving small gifts for you when you're not around.
-At first you're confused but you think it's just a harmlessly sweet gesture from a secret crush. A few flowers on your doorstep every other night, maybe a small gift of a necklace or hair pin, however your quickly get freaked out when the gifts get TOO personal.
-You came to work one day and was freaked out when your boss handed you a decorative vase an 'admirer' left you for you after he overheard you mentioning it. (You only ever mentioned it once to you boss in private with no one else around.) Your boss is also slightly confused since they also hadn't mentioned that to anyone.
-You freak out more than ever when you come home and find a pair of wedding rings and a shiromuku(wedding kimono) laid out perfectly on your bed.
-Kokushibo sees nothing wrong with his behavior. As in his mind you both are still together, you are still his woman, and he's going to reclaim what is his own. This is just letting you know what he expects. He can't comprehend you'd be against this.
-He's not allowing you to go, especially after he lost you last time to his brother's affections. Whether these affections were platonic friendship or romantic lovers is up to you, but his internalized inferiority, jealousy, obsession, and greed won't allow him to let you go.
-You shriek when you first see him reveal himself. He doesn't understand why you're reacting like this. Don't you recognize your husband? You can't get away. He's holding you to him in an embrace as you freak out.
"Death may have stolen you from me..but I will deny the reaper of his claim to you once again."
DOUMA:
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EMOTIONS
-Again you have to be very specific for these men to even consider taking you as a bride. For Douma, it'd be because of the way you make him actually feel things.
-However this ends up happening or when it does is entirely a thing all of its own but for the sake of not making this a mountain of a post, we'll leave that part up to whatever you interpret for now.
-The problem is that he has legit NO idea of what he's even feeling. He's never felt adoration, anger, happiness, etc so how is he supposed to know what this fluttery strange feeling in his chest is?
-So for a long while even he's not aware of his growing obsession with you. He just knows these feelings are not bad. He knows these feelings are coming from you. So somehow he deduced that you are the problem for his new predicaments.
-For this reason he has you looked over by the cults resident healer in case you're using some kind of sickness or chemistry stuff on him. Gets more confused when you are perfectly fine. Nevermind that demons couldn't get sick.
-You become weirded out by how clingy and stalkerish he's suddenly become overnight. He's not even aware he's doing it and if he is he doesn't care really. He just knows you're the cause of the fuzzy warmth in his chest and he's starting to like it.
-The only chance for you to escape is now while he's still confused on what he's feeling. Afterwards it's too late.
-EVERYONE notices his behavior and there's a mixed reaction to it all. Some congratulate you which you're so confused on and some express their happiness to their founder. Douma is just even more confused at it all. Eventually someone notices his confusion and asks him about it, then proceeds to explain what's he's feeling because he's not so sure himself.
-This revolution is mind blowing to him. He's literally the shocked Pikachu meme.
-In his mind as he thinks about it, technically he's been already courting you for nearly a year now. Showering you in affection and gifts and treating you like the goddess you were. So the next logical step would be marriage and that thought actually has him giddy at the thought of you in a shiromuku.
-You've been giving him subtle hints that you're uncomfortable the entire time but he either flat out ignores it or it just flies over his head.
-He randomly wakes you up in the middle of the night and asks if you're not busy the next day.
You blink at the shadowy creepily happy smiling figure too tired to comprehend the gravity of the situation. "I think?"
"Alright." He's silent for a moment. "I made us an appointment with a local priest."
You mumble a nothing response, still on the brink of sleep.
"Just remember to take the day off," he presses. "Hello? Are you there?"
"Uh huh." Your eyes won't even stay open.
"It's settled then. We'll get married tomorrow." He claps happily as he makes his leave. "Go back to sleep now, Lotus blossom."
He leaves and you breathe a sigh of relief as you snuggle into your bed again-
You jolt up. Did he say married?
AKAZA:
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FAMILIARITY
-Akaza has never, has not, and never will harm a woman. He himself is unsure of his past where this stems from but he feels a familiarity to something deep but distant when he first meets you.
-You either are dealing with a similar illness Koyuki experienced, or you're a demon slayer whom had to retire due to injuries. Let's go with the second option for this one.
-Akaza had randomly heard recently that a demon slayer had to retire and was currently in the area he was in. He's always looking for a good fight so it's not a no brainer he'd seek you out. What he doesn't know was that this particular retired slayer was a woman. He doesn't realize this even when he first sees you until you horrified and scared seeing a demon in your home confirms that you are indeed the person he's looking for.
-Akaza is shocked. Not at the fact that there's a lady slayer (he's seen plenty of strong lady slayers) but at how you look. He's never seen a woman covered in so many wounds and scars even amongst other slayers. He's so stunned he asks you about it. You're more confused on why he doesn't outright end you, but you answer his question to avoid provoking him. An entire gang of demons has ganged up on you and if it weren't for a Haishira you'd be dead. However your current state left you unable to continue.
-He's angry. About a lot of things. How dare those lowlifes! HE'S obviously not gonna be getting a fight here. There's no way to release this anger- You're stunned as the angry demon just leaves without another word, but he takes it out on some rocks some miles away.
-Akaza ends up swinging by much to your growing horror and worry. He never comes close or makes threatening actions towards you, but you've seen him multiple times staring into your window or you'd see him in the distance barely visible through the darkness. It always freaks you out.
-Akaza doesn't mean to scare you, he just can't help but be curious about you. He finds himself thinking about you and your poor condition a lot. For some reason it pangs his heart seeing you limp about knowing it's permanent to your walking pattern or get angry when he sees people stare at you funny. He even ended a man who insulted your beauty by calling your battle scars unattractive not that you had any idea. He just..feels an odd need to give you care. It feels so... familiar. Second nature.
-He's just so entranced by you. Your smile, your gently nature, your kindness- Despite your losses and bad treatment you still treat everyone so gently. It makes his heart race with something so familiar yet so foreign.
-Reality shatters for him when he hears of your arranged marriage. After returning you had to move back with family who were all horrified to your condition. Their logic was that you needed to get married like a sensible woman and you should be grateful someone was willing to put up with you as a wife.
-In Akaza's view no one would ever treat you like you deserved. He knew he could care for you like he did for-... Someone that makes his head fog. HE CAN'T LET HIM TAINT HER SMILE. If you needed a husband to provide for you then he's happy to step in. Don't be surprised when you wake up to him carrying you out the window.
"Anything that is gold is often buried beneath where everyone's minds skim over without a second thought. You won't have your gold tainted to rust by another."
GYUTARO(+PLATONIC UME/DAKI):
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EQUALITY
-Let's be fair. Gyutaro (and Ume/Daki) were never treated as an equal. He was always treated like a piece of garbage (and Ume a pretty doll) so he's gotten used to the fact that he's just destined for that.
-So he's surprised when his sister just starts yapping about another girl in her workplace. It's not out of the ordinary for her to talk about other girls mostly complaining about them or demanding he do something about it. But he's surprised that she's not complaining but gushing about how she made a friend....What?
-Gyutaro.wav is confused af
-She proceeds to proudly gush to her brother about how this girl 'actually knows her place' and 'knows how beautiful Daki is without even needing to know her.'
-Gyutaro.exe is VERY confused af
-She notices his blank stare and scoffs in annoyance. "She's visually impaired you dolt! Honestly it wouldn't be much of a difference if she was actually blind." Oh. Well now he's less confused. Turns out you're new to the house Daki is currently working in and she had originally planned on eating you outta jealousy, however changed her mind when you complimented her voice.
-Daki.wav is now confused. She was used to being complimented on everything from her beauty to her hair to her walking even but her voice? It was then she learnt you weren't blind but you might as well be with how bad your vision actually was seeing everything in colorful blurs. This confuses her. Confused her enough to spare you that night and instead you both just sorta awkwardly talked casually. You politely asked her what it was like to be a famous oiran and if she had any tips for make up as you couldn't see well enough to tell if yours was good.
-You had spoken to her without fear, or condensending, or even any flat out adoration. It was just as if she was another person on the street and not a cannibalistic monster. Honestly it was ..nice. Hella confusing but actually nice for once being treated like another. She decides she will not eat you. After all it wouldn't harm anyone if you couldn't see the red flags in front of you, and you believe her anyways when she said she's beautiful.
-She decides you are her default friend and you now listen to all her problems and tantrums whenever she wants. You gently listen awkwardly sometimes with a frown after you hear she had punished another worker. However there's very little people here nice to you and her reputation alone has kept troublemakers away from you so you decide her friendship is worth more than the cons of not having it.
-She's very territorial over her one friendship. Almost toxically so. If you want something you had BETTER get it within the day or there's hell to pay! If there's a customer you don't particularly like he had BETTER find another girl. No is not an option. Even the house master is scared of her so all complies.
-Gyutaro has legit no idea of what to think of this but his logic is whatever his precious baby sister wants she gets so if you make her happy being her friend then he'll leave you alone and leave her too it. He hasn't met you yet tho. Most of the time he's either out hunting or asleep dormant in Daki's body. Sometimes he heard you two talking but tuned it out as it was mostly boring or his sister complaining to you again. You two completely meet by accident.
-One day he came back from hunting, the two had to split as it'd look suspicious if she suddenly disappeared, so as usual he went to go clean up the mess. The two were just talking when the door suddenly opens and they both freeze as you stand there smiling. Turns out you had just come to say good night to Daki and didn't even see the demon in front of you. However you are barely able to make out a second blurry figure in the darkness. It prompts you to apologize for interrupting her and her customer to which both relax from their tense posture remembering you couldn't actually tell there was a six foot something demon in front of you.
-Daki is prompted to scoff and explain that it wasn't a customer but her brother visiting. In turn Gyutaro is stunned as you genuinely smile his way and greet him like he was another friend. It quickly becomes awkward as he just stares. His brain can't compute a girl(a pretty girl at that) was smiling and talking to him normally. He answers in grunts and quickly leaves the awkward scene.
-Is later shocked weeks later when his sister informs him that you sometimes ask her how her brother is doing. He's not used to having anyone think of him so nicely even as a second thought. The way he reacts gives Daki the idea of making her brother come out to again meet you. (She forces him out and doesn't let him merge until he meets you again.) He's shocked at how you still genuinely are kind to him offering him tea and asking if he'd like to hear you play the shamisen.
-Man becomes fastly smitten by you. With so much touch starvation and affection denial he has it was inevitable. You suspect he might like you by the stutters of his floundering voice but out of respect to your friend you remain casual and never bring it up to either of them when they visit you.
-You've got two demons utterly obsessed with you for both two different reasons. Daki is unwilling to lose her only friend. In her mind NO ONE is allowed to be friends with you! She's the best! So she's your best and only friend! She's very possessive over things she sees as hers and you're no exception. She even was jealous of Gyutaro's affections for you at first but quickly realized it would be easier to share her big brother with you. They share practically everything else anyways. She still gets annoyed when he takes your attention for too long tho. You were her friend first!
-Gyutaro is obsessed with the way you treat him. The way you don't back away from him when he gets close. The way you smile at him. The way you don't treat him like the scum of the earth. He's a very possessive man, even more than his sister. Any visiting customers you have are never seen again. Any present or past he finds out about are quickly taken as his dinner for daring to touch what's his.
-If he doesn't get them then Daki will. She eliminates any threat within the house. Any servant who stares at you with disdain or someone who gets too friendly is swiftly delt with.
-You're hella confused when the house master says he is cursed with many runaway workers.
-Both absolutely FREAK when they return to the house and You're not there anymore. Daki realizes this first when she goes to see you and finds you GONE! All of your belongings are gone and your room is empty. Practically tears the house apart looking for you and calling your name. Her panic wakes up her brother concerned she's in danger but also freaks out when she informs him you're GONE! She goes to the house master after not finding you anywhere else and DEMANDS they tell her where you are with murder in her eyes.
-Turns out a man had bought your marriage contract after watching a show of yours playing the shamisen and singing. You were relieved to be leaving and had left with him after waiting for an hour to say goodbye but your friend never showed up.
-Both are HORRIFIED and ENRAGED!
-Daki ends the house master in a rage as her brother appears. It's not too hard to find you being lead by your soon-to-be husband leading you towards the train station. Had they been ten minutes late then you would've been completely out of the E-District.
-Instead you're quickly absorbed into Daki's belt as her brother violently rips the man apart in a blind rage. You aren't going to leave your best friend behind and he wasn't going to let another man have your hand.
"I'm your friend! Don't you get that?!"
"I'll cut down anyone who tries to hurt my precious sister or take you from me. You're mine."
KAIGAKU:
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GREED
-This man and Kokushibo are similar. Both have inferiority issues against younger brothers(Ik technically Zenitsu n him aren't brothers but bare with me) being better than them in swordsmanship one way or another. With Yoriichi and Kokushibo it was more complicated. Between Kaigaku and Zenitsu it was that ONE Thunder Breathing technique he never conquered.
-His inferiority and greed has caused him to make so many bad decisions (if you've read the manga or read his wiki then you know what I mean). He's not one to want to be out done even if he has to resort to underhanded tactics.
-You both met when he was still human and training under Master Jigoro. You were a simple healer often just helping patch him and Zenitsu up after training. He's annoyed and often doesn't give you a second thought that is until Zenitsu starts running his mouth obviously. He asks you to marry him ten minutes after you both just met.
-Kaigaku has known you for a few years longer than Zenitsu because he's older and came to train here before Zenitsu but you both have never been close before. He's short with you when you talk otherwise he's usually quiet. You talk to him anyways even if he never answers back. You're used to it.
-He hates how you just patiently laugh off any and all attempts Zenitsu makes to you. Why are you tolerating that idiot?!(Nevermind you also tolerate him and his stupid attitude.) He gets jealous of your interactions and how Zenitsu is just finding over you before he meets Nezuko. He barely sees you after his final selection and becoming a slayer but his furious mind boils over at the thought of you spending more time ALONE with Zenitsu before he too goes to his Final selection.
-With both Zenitsu and Kaigaku gone, and Jigoro insisting he can take care of himself, you're reassigned to a different residence where multiple slayers pass through. Ironically it's where Kaigaku is. All good and bad feelings punch him at once seeing your smiling face again as you stitch up his most recent wound.
-He likes you so much and how you treat him, but he's internally enraged when you share that kindness with anyone outside of him. Hearing you speaking to him about Zenitsu and your other patients only enrages that boiling point. However it only reaches that point when you inform the ever silent man about your own slayer fiance you met through your patients.
-You're sad when one day Kaigaku stops showing up for a long while. News of his betrayal and Jigoro's death really hadn't reached a lot of people with all the Haishira and slayers training for the final fight in the Infinity Castle. Your slayer fiance included.
-You do however receive news of your fiance's mysterious gruesome death at the hands of a demon. You're more heartbroken when you also hear of Jigoro's death. Devastated and crying your heart out over your loss. However those sobs turn to screams when you're face to face with blackened eyes of death as a sinister smile.
"What are you crying for? It's his own fault."
NAKIME:
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SHARED INTEREST
-(Ok. Bare with me. Ive never written for her before and even researching her backstory this is probably not going to be very long and ooc. Take as platonic or romantic.) Let me start by saying that she does not get out much. Like at all. So you two really don't meet face to face.
-She discovers you by accident when she opened a door in a busy street and happened to see you sitting on the side of the road also playing a biwa for money.
-She hasn't seen another fellow biwa player for a while and decided to keep the doorway open for a while to listen.
-You are not very good with the biwa. Your playing isn't bad it's just not the best. Nakime knows this but considering she's never met another person or heard another instrument for a long time she can't help but get interested. Learns quickly that you are a lot better playing the shamisen than the biwa and always opens a small window or doorway on nights she knows you're gonna be sitting on your corner playing.
-She starts to think about teaching you how to play the biwa and doing a duet as you play your shamisen next to her biwa. Starts to really like the idea of permanently having your company in the castle.
-She doesn't really abduct you until after a show a drunk patron steals your instrument and smashes it on the ground laughing at your crying face.
-A loud strum of a biwa is heard as both you AND the drunk man is teleported. You're shocked to suddenly find yourself on a platform with a woman sitting right across from you. The drunk man was also teleported. She teleported him to where she knew a gang of newly turned hungry demons were.
"Apologies for the sudden introductions however it seems you need a change of residence."
GYOKKO:
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CREATIVITY
-(I don't like him too much but ik there's a lot of people who do and can't find content for him same as those who like Nakime so I'll include him too for all you Gyokko fans.) Mans is a baby. Very sensitive to his projects being insulted even if they deserve to be called that, most either are 'too dumb to notice his great skills' or always insult him. When in reality his art is so gruesome that people can't help but he horrified by it or insult him. The only one who seems to get him is Douma which is why he gifted him the pot but they aren't really friends.
-He meets you by complete accident. He was out too late and ended up deciding to hide in a pottery worker's shop. He likes to sneak around and spy on other artists anyways. His pot was sun proof and all he had to do was duck inside and wait until night again. However he wasn't counting on being bought.
-You had come in looking for a new vase to decorate your table after your old one accidentally broke. You happened to spot Gyokko's and completely fell in love with how pretty it was! The purest white you've ever seen with beautifully perfectly painted flowers and leafy vines. The pottery worker doesn't even remember making this piece but a paying customer was a paying customer so he sold you Gyokko's vase.
-Gyokko is absolutely offended by the pottery worker claiming his vase as his own and plans to end him later...But he also is very intrigued by the bold compliments you gave so he decides not to end you yet.
-When night comes he sneaks out to find quite a sight. Turns out you are also an artist sorta. You make custom jewelry and clothing for people, and baskets on the side. He's intrigued and extends his body around to look closely at all of the fabrics laid about, and written patterns, and little pieces of jewels ready to be put together for a simple but pretty piece to wear.
-He ends up going from the back of your shop to the front finding a lot of finished pieces of yours displayed and ready for sale. He's very intrigued by the kimonos. All of the patterns are individually sewn on. Cherry blossoms, storks, flowers- All are sewn on thread after thread by hand. It's like a canvas but made of fabric with thread as the paint. He's seen a LOT of kimonos but the attention to detail and precision to the likeness of the real thing was truly remarkable. For a woman.
-He decides since you really hadn't been a nuisance and complimented his work then he'll not end you for taking his pot. Instead of taking his pot with him, he leaves it and teleports to a different pot that way he can still sneak into your home without a problem.
-This goes on for two years. He'll pop in every so while when you sleep and look around for an hour or two before leaving. There was always different dresses displayed with different beautiful scenes sewed into them or he'd see one you were working on on your workshop bench. The needle paused in sewing the stripes of a tiger or the veins of a leaf.
-One day he comes back but hides in the pot because you're working late and tending to a customer who needed a dress for a ceremony. As you both talk the customer compliments 'your pot' and asks why you never put flowers in it. You answer- "I don't want to damage it by filling it with water or having rose thorns scratch it's inside. Besides it's beautiful enough by itself."
-As if this man didn't have enough of a big ego- This happens around the start of the second year and he ends up fond of this fellow artist. He gets the idea of gifting you another case to gage your reaction. This time you find a deep blue pot with waves painted onto it. You're unsure of where it came from but you might up moving it by the first vase mumbling to yourself about how pretty it was! Man's ego skyrockets.
-You are confused when you thank your friends for the pretty gifts only to be told they didn't make any of the ones you have. You get more confused when you start finding pots left on your doorstep two or three times a month. You never see who leaves them but you're so taken by how each one is so pretty that you never complain. Just assuming it was a secret admirer. Gyokko's ego boosts higher when he sees you had gotten two big shelves and placed them up to be displayed. He loves seeing you light up when you look at them excited for when the next one arrives.
-You're happiness seems to be improving your work too as Gyokko ends up find you making full on landscapes on your dresses. He notices you've suddenly become happier and giddier lately and blushing even but he doesn't think it's anything other than your adoration for his craft.
-Confused when one day he finds no new dresses being made except for an absolutely beautiful shiromuku in the process of being made. He assumes you've been paid to make a bride her ceremonial dress. He has absolutely no idea of the real reason behind this behavior until he comes back earlier one night and is shocked to find YOU wearing the dress to try it out as another friend of yours does your makeup testing out what colors would look best with you in the dress.
-Seeing you in your own homemade bridal piece and your face dolled up is like he's looking upon living artwork. He's in awe as you both giddily talk about your wedding-..Wait. Wot? You're telling your friend all about how the pottery maker you had originally bought your first vase from had fallen for you and came forward to be your secret admirer leaving all of the vases as gifts.
W H A T?!
-Gyokko is ENRAGED!! How dare that lowlife claim his precious skills as his own!? More so how dare he use it to trick this beloved artist into letting him marry you?! He was claiming all his hard work!! He's becomes more enraged when you mentioned that your fiance wanted you to retire from your craft and be a stay at home wife after you marry. A mantra of "Oh over his dead body" is repeated over in his head as he temporarily disappears to take care of a problem.
-Soon after your friend leaves you're smiling at yourself in a mirror only to freeze in horror and shriek out as something monstrous comes clawing out of the first ever face you've ever gotten. People are horrified and shocked when they find your fiance dead and you no where to be found.
"Art is a beauty in of itself. However there are few people who can truly appreciate you as such."
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Hoo boy that was a lot. I'm gonna do a part 2 with Hantengu since that guy needs to be tackled along with clones on his own post and a part 3 with the lower moons. Hope you all enjoyed this.
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redroomreflections · 10 hours
Text
Not Easily Broken Chapter 2
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Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Summary: Natasha and Reader go through a tragic divorce
Masterlist | General Masterlist
2/10
Note: Yes, it's getting finished besties
W/c: 3.8k
You’re late. You’re really late. Not even just an ‘oh I got stuck in traffic I’ll be there late”. You’re the “I hope my daughter doesn’t hate me and harbor those feelings the rest of her life late.” As you bob and weave through traffic in your BMW SUV you curse to yourself. You feel stupid. Very stupid. There’s no way you can ever make up for this but you can certainly try to.
As you pull onto the street of what was once your home you squint just a little to see how many people are still there. You can see the cars lining the street start to dissipate as you pull into the driveway. Natasha is on the porch talking to one of the people you recognize from Emma’s dance class. She spots you, rolling her eyes and angling herself, so you’re not in her vision. Parking the car, you look over to the passenger’s seat where Emma’s gift is wrapped in yellow paper (her favorite color) and a bright pink bow. You turn the car off with a sigh. You really did it this time. You unbuckle your seatbelt and reach over to grab the present and exit. You walk slowly up the pathway marveling at all of the decorations that Natasha has put up for Emma’s fifth birthday.
Five. Your baby girl is five and you’ve missed her birthday party. One Natasha had gracefully invited you to. Briefly, your mind flashes back to the mornings where you and Natasha would wake the little girl up with breakfast in bed. Mini pancakes, strawberries, her favorite juice. You would go the whole nine yards for her. Now you’ve done everything but that. You reach the edge of the steps with a small wave to Natasha’s guests.
“Kerry, Doug, nice to see you again.” You give them a tight smile hoping to appear calm even though don’t feel that way.
“I’ll call you,” Natasha says bidding them goodbye. She doesn’t speak until they’re down the path and in their car. She trails her eyes over to you still in your work clothes with an apologetic look on your face. “Unbelievable.” She scoffs turning to go inside the house. You follow after her with an apology at the tip of your tongue. She starts collecting the trash she sees around the living room.
“I’m sorry, I got sidetracked at work,” You begin.
“You don’t have to apologize to me.” She shrugs. Pushing her hair behind her ear she glances at you. “I’m not the one turning five and I’m not your wife.” Something about the last part of that statement strikes you right in the heart. The divorce has been finalized for eight months now. Eight months and you’ve barely seen each other. Only during pickups and drop-offs. Even then you barely speak. Hearing her voice is...nice. Even if she is angry with you.
“I know but I’m really making an ass of myself,” You shake your head. “Where is she?”
“Backyard,” She answers.
“She must hate me,” You mutter more to yourself.
“She doesn’t hate you,” Natasha walks to the kitchen and again you follow. “She’s just really confused on why her Mommy said she would be here and wasn’t.” She gives another wave to one of the last guests and they trickle out of the house.
“Yeah,” You say following closely behind her. She stuffs the trash into the bin carefully.
As she stands to her full height you take a second to look at her. She’s gorgeous. Her hair flows behind her back longer than she’s ever let herself allow it to. Her eyes are just as expressive and beautiful. God, you’ve missed her.
You open your mouth to speak but you’re interrupted when a familiar figure steps into view. Richard Matthews. An agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Natasha’s new partner. He accompanies the Avengers on missions every now and again. You’re not exactly sure why but he’s always paired up with Natasha on missions and it never really bothered you until now.
“Everything’s all set with the kiddos,” Richard says to her. He completely ignores you and you can’t really tell if that’s intentional. The way he steps into Natasha’s space makes you think they’re closer than she’s letting on. “Emma’s having a blast with the new American doll I got. Says she’s gonna sleep with it tonight.” He smiles down at Natasha. “Will you be okay here? Ryan helped me with a lot of the backyard so there’s not much else to clean.”
“Yeah, I got it.” Natasha nods glancing over at you. She can see how uncomfortable Richard makes you feel. “Thank you, Richard.” She raises her hand to rest lightly on his bicep. You narrow your eyes. Clearing your throat they both look towards you.
“Oh, y/n, I didn’t see you there.” Richard feigns innocence.
“I’m sure you didn’t, Dick.” You say with every ounce of disdain. You can see Natasha’s lips quirk in amusement but she quickly hides it.
“Well, I’m gonna go.” He says before giving her a kiss on the cheek. He lingers before walking past you towards the front door. You two don’t break eye contact until he’s gone.
“That guy is a real tool,” You roll your eyes.
“He’s nice and he’s a part of the team.” Natasha shrugs. She steps over to the sink to do the dishes giving you the idea that this entire conversation is over. You want to ask her if she’s seeing him. If he’s more than just her partner. You’re not entitled to any of those answers and Natasha won’t be afraid to tell you.
“I’m just gonna go,” You wave the gift in your hand heading towards the back door. Once you’re out there you finally exhale. From the porch, you can see the giant pink bounce castle that both of your children are currently playing in. You go down the steps content to watch them for a moment. It’s Ryan who spots you first. Before all of this, he would have scrambled out of the bounce house to meet you halfway. Instead, he just stands there.
“Mommy!” Emma breaks you from your trance flopping onto her bottom. She slides out of the bounce house to run into your arms. You catch her twirling around in your arms. “You came!”
“I did, baby girl.” You kiss both of her cheeks.
“You missed my party though,” She reminds you.
“I know, Mommy’s so sorry,”
“It’s okay,” Emma forgives you. She wraps her arms tightly around your neck again.
“I got you something,” You jiggle the box in your hand. She leans back to inspect it her eyes widening. “Let’s go ahead and open it.” You let her down to stand on her own two feet. She takes your hand dragging you over to the picnic table on the other side of the yard. She’s small so it takes her a minute to sit correctly but when she does she beams up at you. Her socked feet swing underneath the table as she waits for you to hand her the present. You place it in front of her and take your spot next to her. She doesn’t hesitate to rip into the paper tossing the bow somewhere in the grass behind her. You can hear the sound of someone sliding out of the bounce house and you look over to see Ryan stepping closer.
“Hey bud,” You greet.
“Hi,” He says softly. You raise an arm beckoning him over to come to give you a hug. He presses himself against you as you hold him close. “I missed you.” He mumbles into your neck. Through this entire divorce, your relationship with him has been strained. Everything has been strained.
“I missed you too.” You whisper back. You give him a soothing kiss on his head. He doesn’t let you go as you both watch Emma to see her reaction.
“Wow!” She says pulling the last pieces of paper from the gift. She turns the box over and over in her hands. “I got a watch!” It’s not some fancy watch. You’re not that out of touch with reality. It’s an Apple watch. The most she can do on the thing is take pictures, use the phone features, and use a calculator. She loves it all the same as she hugs the box to her. After hearing what Richard got her you were apprehensive about it being enough. Sitting here watching her cherish this gift you know you picked correctly. “Can I call you on it?” You nod. “Every night?” You nod again. “Cool!” She cheers.
There’s a squeak coming from the back door and you know Natasha has come to the back porch.
“Can I go show Mama?” She asks you.
“Go, show her.” She turns from the picnic table rushing over to Natasha to show off her cool new present. Natasha looks down at the box and then back to you with a raise of her brow. She doesn’t share in Emma’s excitement but she tells the girl how cool it is.
“How are you doing?” You turn your focus to Ryan. He shrugs. “You sure?” He nods silently.
“Ryan, come on, it’s almost bedtime,” Natasha says. “I want to check your backpack before the night is over.” She ushers Emma inside.
“Guess we better go and check those backpacks.” You say rising to your feet. Ryan clasps your hand in his and you both move to walk inside of the house. It’s there Natasha is setting up Emma’s watch. “Patience, Printsessa.” Natasha scolds lightly. She presses a few buttons on the screen.
“Can Mommy stay for bath time?” Emma asks innocently. Your eyes fly to Natasha’s. You haven’t done that in a while.
“Please?” Ryan joins in. Natasha’s resolve is broken as she gives a meek “yes.” The children cheer in unison.
Guess you’re staying for bedtime.
This takes almost two hours to get both children through their nightly routine. Emma is more reluctant to fall asleep as she doesn’t want to miss you leaving. You tuck her into bed with a kiss and a promise to see her again soon. She pulls the American girl doll under the covers with her. You wait for her to fall asleep before leaving her room. Ryan is next and he’s much easier. He climbs into bed all on his own with his back turned to you. He’s conflicted and you being here is not making it easy on him. You sit on the bed beside him. You press a kiss to the back of his head.
“I love you,” You say before reaching over to turn off his lamp. You exit his room leaving his door cracked. You amble down the hallway to the stairs. You find Natasha in the front room gathering all of Emma’s new presents that she would put into their proper place later.
“Thanks for letting me stay to tell them goodnight,” You say awkwardly.
“Don’t mention it,” She dismisses tossing the last of the toys into a pile. The house is pretty much clean now save for the leftovers she has to put away. She’s not kicking you out as you follow her down the same path into the kitchen.
“Natasha,” You begin. stopping yourself when you realize you don’t really have anything to say. “Thank you for inviting me. I know you didn’t have to do that. I feel like a jerk. Especially with how things have been going.”
“How have things been going?” Natasha busies herself with pushing the leftovers into whatever Tupperware they can fit into. She curses turning to look for a lid for this particular bowl. “Where is it?” She searches.
“Bottom right cabinet,” You inform her. She pauses before moving over to search the cabinet you gave her. She finds what she is looking for and turns back to the food.
“Things have been going good.” You continue your earlier conversation. “Work is work. My mom is doing well. She sends her love. I can’t complain.” You watch her stuff the fridge full.
“Well I’m glad things are going well for one of us,” She slams the door of the fridge a bit harder than intended. “Not all of us are able to abandon our motherly duties.”
“Natasha, I’m trying my best here.” You say immediately knowing what she means.
“That’s what pisses me off the most,” She says exasperatedly. “They’re so good with you just trying. They don’t care how many times you mess up. They don’t care if you don’t do something. They don’t care if you’re having a bad day and you’re doing everything to make them happy. They don’t care if you don’t show up for their goddamn birthdays but it’s me that get’s the brunt of the madness and the anger.” She slams her hands against the counter. Running her hand through her hair, she shakes her head. “Do you know Ryan got into a fight at school the other day? He’s been...angry these days. I’m considering seeing a therapist with them.” She nods to herself. “Emma’s been giving me hell too. I wouldn’t allow her to watch tv one night because I dislike them having so much free time. She threw a tantrum.” She swallows thickly. “She told me, she told me she hates me and that she wishes she could come live with you.” The unshed tears in her eyes break your heart into a thousand pieces. “So, yes trying your best doesn’t really fly with me.”
“Natasha, I’m,” There’s no amount of apologizing that could take that hurt from her. “I’ll talk to them. I’ll take them out for dinner and we can talk.”
Natasha sighs. She knows this isn’t something that can be fixed with a simple talk. She lets her tears fall freely. You hate that this is what you’ve done to your family. Stepping around the counter you reach out to her. It’s reminiscent of that night all those months ago when you left. All you want to do is make it better. Make her feel better. Your emotions are conflicting as you bring your fingers up to caress her cheek. She stands stock-still closing her eyes at your touch. You rub your thumbs across her cheeks clearing away the tear tracks.
“I’m sorry,” You say and she lets out a sob.
“You’re not sorry,” She shakes her head.
“No, Natasha, I’m sorry,” You say firmly. You’re hoping she can hear the sincerity in your voice. She opens her eyes searching your face for a lie. You get lost in the forest of her eyes. So trusting and loving even with all of the pain you’ve brought your family.
You don’t know who makes the move first. Your lips meet tentatively. There’s a hint of familiarity that comes from nine years of marriage. The kiss is soft and sweet. Her lips glide over yours in a slow, languid motion. It’s not lacking in passion. Quite the opposite actually. Her mouth is hot and wet and hungry for you as your tongues meet. Taking in her flavor, you moan. She tastes like leftover cake with a hint of toothpaste. You pull back slightly to suck her bottom lip into your mouth. You nip it gently and the moan it elicits from Natasha only spurs you on. Her arms come up to wrap around your neck pulling you closer as you push her gently towards the counter. Her back is pressed against it as you kiss her harder. You spend a few more moments wrapped up in each other. Your hands roam her body tracing over every curve.
The need for air becomes too great as you pull away to trail kisses down her neck. You lick at her pulse point before giving it a soft bite. She moans a bit louder tensing under you. You’re moving fast and hurried as you push her tank top over her breast. You move the cup of her bra to expose her nipple taking the rosy bud between your lips. You give it a hard suck and she gasps loudly. Her hands push your head closer to her as you swipe your tongue across her nipple. Your right-hand slides down to trace the front of her jeans.
“Please,” She says in her lust-filled haze. You flick the button of her pants open skirting your fingers under the waistband of her underwear. She’s wet. So wet. You slide your fingers through her folds collecting her wetness. On one particular slide, you bump her clit causing her hips to jump. You trace her opening and she’s panting now. When your fingers slip inside of her she lets out a yelp. You push until you’re at the second knuckle. You can hear the sound of her arousal and it is music to your ears. Natasha has always been loud during sex and this is no exception. You abandon her breasts to return your lips to hers.
“Shh, baby, you don’t want to wake them,” You whisper into her ear. She nods shakily as she tries to fuck herself on your fingers. You thrust harder sending her reeling as she reaches blindly behind her for the counter. “Good girl,” She flutters around your fingers, and god damn you want to stay like this forever.
“Harder,” Her breath is airy and hurried. She’s close. You listen thrusting into her harder, faster, deeper. Her brows are knit together as she chases her orgasm. You can feel the way she tightens around your fingers.
“He doesn’t fuck you like this does he?” You breathe close to her ear. “Doesn’t take care of you like I do,” The moment is over faster than you know it. Suddenly Natasha is pulling away and pushing you away from her. It’s like a bucket of ice-cold water has been dumped on you as she takes a huge step away. She’s buttoning her jeans and wiping at her mouth as you try to catch your breath. “What? What happened?”
“You can’t be serious?” She says. “You think I’m fucking him?”
“Natasha,” You drop your hands to your sides. She pushes her shirt down over her breast and you immediately miss your closeness.
“No, no, you cannot be serious.” Natasha turns to catch her breath. “You don’t have the right,”
“Fuck, I didn’t mean to assume. He was close to you, kissed you.”
“On the cheek,” She whips her head to look at you. “He comes over sometimes to help with the kids. They like him. That’s not any of your business if I was fucking him or not by the way. You lost that when you served me with the divorce papers.”
A wave of anger washes over you. Swiping your hand across the counter you cause all of the glasses she dried earlier to crash to the ground.
“Fuck,” You yell. The glass resting at your feet satisfies you. It’s a representation of how you’re feeling right now. Natasha jumps back avoiding the glass from touching her. She looks down at the mess in surprise before looking back at you. You both wait in anticipation for one of the kids to come down. They don’t.
You rush out of the back door to sit on the steps. You bend so your head is between your knees. The blood rushes there and you cough hoping to catch your breath. The backdoor creaks. A comforting hand is placed upon your back as Natasha comes to sit next to you.
“Breathe, y/n.” She hums. You’re having a panic attack. She sits with you so patiently as your breathing becomes normal again.
“I’m not good for them,” You say. “I’m just like him.” You whisper brokenly.
“No, y/n, you’re not.” Natasha lifts your chin to look at her. “You’re not.”
“But you said-”
“I know what I said,” Natasha interrupts. “You’re nothing like him. I only wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me.” The admission sits between the two of you.
“Fuck,”
She returns her hand to her lap.
“I can’t…” You struggle. “It wasn’t making sense. Any of it. It doesn’t make sense. One minute we were happy and the next we weren’t. We became too much. I couldn’t make you happy anymore. Emma told me during her bath that she hears you crying at night when you think she’s asleep. I never meant to do any of this. I never meant it, Tasha.” You cry. You mean it. You ran. You did what you do best and ran.
“I know,” She says solemnly. “You never asked me if I was happy.” You lift your head to look at her questioningly. “You said you couldn’t make me happy anymore but you never asked me. You never ask you just assume. I’ve always been happy with you. Back during our days in the tower, when we got married, when we were pregnant with Ryan.” She names. “Even when we weren’t having sex and not communicating and fighting all of the time. I never once thought that we would end.” You’re surprised by that. All this time you thought you were doing the right thing for everyone and now you don’t know if it was the right thing at all. “Couples have rough patches. Tony and Pepper did. Thor and Jane. Clint and Laura. They got through it. I thought we could too. When you handed me those papers -- my entire world stopped, y/n. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought maybe you found someone else. I thought so many things. But that I didn’t see coming.”
“I’m sorry,” It’s your turn to cry now. “I didn’t want this.” You shake your head. “I fucked up.” You say.
“Is this because you think I’m sleeping with someone else?”
“Partly,” You admit. “I have had some time to think and I just… I thought I was doing what’s best for us. You’re right I didn’t ask you. I assumed. I pulled away. I’m so sorry, Natasha. I never stopped loving you or wanting you. Even though all of that.” Natasha’s breath hitches through your admission.
“Then why?” She asks. “Why did you leave me?”
You don’t have a single answer. “I thought you were better off without me.”
“How could you ever think that?” She asks. You don’t have an answer for her.
“I have to leave in the morning,” You say. The moment is broken and though Natasha thought you were getting somewhere it’s clear you haven’t. She moves to stand and you catch her wrist. “Come with me. It’s a week in Florida. Come with me. You and the kids.”
“Y/n, we can’t just leave in the morning.” She says. “The kids have school and I have work.” You deflate. Of course not. You shouldn’t have asked. “But we could meet you there Friday night? Gives us time to pack and get everything in order with their teachers.” She’s giving you a chance. You stand to look at her. “The moment we come back we’re in therapy. All of us.”
“Yes, yes, of course.” You promise.
“Don’t break my heart again,” She begs quietly. “I don’t think I’ll survive this time.”
“I won’t.” You pull her into your arms. Standing here with her you wonder how you ever thought you could be without her.
---> next part
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mymoodwriting · 17 hours
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3.8k, deja vu au, reader appears in the end, alcohol, drinking, depression, past relationship, amnesia, gaslighting, manipulation, denial, character deaths, implied character deaths, car accident, lingering spirits, traveling dimensions, 99% certain you will cry, I cried writing this (@starillusion13)
“Hey… it’s me again…”
Yeonjun laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling while he was on the phone. There was so much he wanted to say, but it was hard to find the words at times.
“I know you’re busy but… you know it’d be nice to hear your voice again… I’m really-”
The beep cut him off as that was all the time he had to leave a message. He thought to try again but he left it that way. He sent you a lot of messages throughout the day, and he didn’t want to piss you off more than you already were. He laid in bed for a while longer before getting up and preparing for the day. The apartment was a lot quieter without you around, and he was well aware of that everyday. Still he didn’t touch your things, leaving them as they were, always waiting for the day you’d forgive him and come home.
On his way out he stopped to look himself over in the mirror, wiping away the tears on his face. He always woke up crying, and he couldn’t understand why. He never remembered his dreams, but he always felt such heartache every morning. He knew he missed you so much, but perhaps he missed you a lot more than he even realized. Once he was out of the apartment he texted his coworker, letting them know he was on his way. He worked as a line cook at a small little joint. It wasn’t anything fancy but it paid the bills and gave him a consistent schedule, so he didn’t hate it too much.
For his lunch break Yeonjun went up to the rooftop, eating in peace and watching the world go by. The scene was quite lovely and it brought back memories. Back then when you had been dating you’d stop by to visit him during his lunch break whenever you had a chance. You could enjoy the view together, and had taken a few pictures together, as well as shared a handful of kisses. It was a little awkward now for Yeonjun, knowing you wouldn’t come up there to meet him anymore, but the memory of you here was what always brought him back. When he heard the door open he perked up, thinking a miracle was about to happen, but instead he saw Soobin walking over. His friends knew of his lunch spot too after all.
“Where you been, man?”
“Ah, you know, just living my life.”
“But you don’t have time to text or call?”
“My bad.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” Soobin took a seat next to Yeonjun. “How you been though?”
“Okay, I guess. Just going through the motions.”
“You know we’re here for you, right?”
“I know. I just don’t wanna burden you guys or sound like a whiny bitch.”
“You wouldn’t be a burden, or annoyance, you know that.”
“Yeah, but I don’t wanna test our friendship over something like this. It’s not a break up, just some miscommunication. We’re taking a break, that’s all.”
“… oh…”
“I’m fine though, really.”
“… yeah… yeah I can see…” Soobin cleared his throat. “You know, the guys are gonna get together on Friday for some drinks, you wanna come? Wouldn’t be bad to spend a night out with us, right?”
“I’d like that.”
“Cool. I’ll text you the details.”
“Thanks.”
Yeonjun admired the view once more, deciding to take a picture and send it to you. Soobin watched him curiously. He could admit it was nice to see the world from up here.
“Who you texting?”
“Y/n. We used to come up here a lot and enjoy the view together. This way we can still share it even if she’s not here now.”
“… right… I, uh… I gotta get going, but I’ll see you Friday?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. See you later.”
“Be safe.”
Yeonjun stayed up on the roof for a while longer before heading back down to finish his shift. He lived close to work, so the commute wasn’t that long, but most nights he’d pick up a few odd jobs doing deliveries. That way he got to travel past all the places you’ve made memories together. The restaurants you’ve dined at, the walks you took together, the ice cream you shared. It was a happy trip down memory lane, and he hoped to do it all again someday. He stopped along the way to check his messages, and just like before you hadn’t responded. Countless messages have gone unanswered, and he could see that you haven’t even opened them. When he finally got home he decided to try giving you a call.
“Hi, you’ve reached y/n, I can’t come to the phone right now, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can! And if it’s you, Yeonjun, I’m sorry I missed you, but I’ll see you later, love you! Okay, bye!”
Hearing your voicemail message always brought a smile to his face. Perhaps that’s why he kept calling. After the beep though his mind went blank, unsure of what to say at first until the words came to him.
“Hey… how are you? I hope you’re doing well… I, uh, I sent you a picture earlier from the rooftop… it brought back a lot of memories… you know, you could at least let me know you’ve seen my messages… I don’t mind if you leave me on read, but I guess you must be busy… Soobin came by today, told me this Friday-”
Another beep told him his time was up and the line then went dead. He sighed and looked back at his texts, but there was nothing new from you. He lingered in the shower afterwards, trying not to break down in tears. It had been so long now without you, but he was still doing pretty well to hold himself together. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for who knows how long before he finally fell asleep. His alarm would wake him in the morning, freeing him from whatever tear filled dream he wouldn’t remember. It was probably more accurate to call them nightmares, but all he knew was what he felt in the morning, nothing else.
This was his usual routine, so he just went about his day as normal. He’d call and leave a message, getting ready for work and spending his day out in the world, distracting himself from your absence. He felt cold in a way he couldn’t describe. It was spring, leading into summer, so the weather itself wasn’t a reason for his feelings. He knew what was, but he didn’t want to dwell on it too long for fear of being swallowed up whole. Yet every passing day made him feel as if you were fading away, and that’s the last thing he wanted. 
Every morning he’d feel the tears on his face. Sometimes he’d wake before his alarm, sobbing uncontrollably, his throat burning from the tears. His face hurt from all the crying, but it seemed he was getting used to the pain now. Once he calmed down he found himself staring at the blank ceiling once more. It was easy to zone out that way, drifting back into the memories of the past, the memories forgotten. Although every time he tried to look back it seemed harder to grasp those moments, to grasp onto you. Such feelings always led him to call, even if you wouldn’t answer. He still hoped that someday you would.
“I miss you… I really fucken miss you… and I’m sorry… I honestly can’t remember what we fought about that day but I know it must have been something stupid… we’ve fought before over worse things but this… whatever it was… y/n please… please let me make it up to you… I want to hear your voice again, I want you to say my name again… I can’t… I can’t lose you-”
He screamed after the beep and threw his phone across the room. It was all true. He missed you like crazy and yet you were nowhere to be found. He desperately wanted to remember what happened that day, but even after all this time it was a blur. The stupid anger he felt, knowing you were leaving upset. Things shouldn’t end that way, and all he wanted was to make it up to you, to see you again and apologize for hurting you. Yet ever since that day you’ve disappeared from his life and gone silent. All his messages and texts have gotten him no response, and he was quietly going insane. Somehow he still managed to live his life, day by day, but it was becoming unbearable the longer this went on.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
“Yeonjun! It’s so good to see you!”
Taehyun and Kai ran up to hug their friend when they saw him, the atmosphere growing brighter with his presence. Everyone was happy to see him as it had been a long time since they all last hung out together.
“Thanks. Soobin invited me, and I thought I’d see how you were all doing.”
“This is gonna be fun.” Kai admitted. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Let’s drink till sunrise.” Taehyun added. “I’ve built up my tolerance, I can totally take you on.”
“Ya, relax.” Soobin stated. “We haven’t even ordered the first round. We’ll see if your words hold up later. Sit, sit.”
“I’ll order.” Beomgyu said. “It really is great to see you, Yeonjun.”
“Same here.”
To be surrounded by friends, and drinking for joy, it was truly something Yeonjun had needed. He wasn’t alone, and he could forget his sorrows while in this moment. Everyone talked about what they had been up to, their plans going forward, and they all promised to see each other again soon. It was kinda strange to feel happiness like this again after so long, and Yeonjun wished to share it with you. By sunrise they were all pretty gone, but Yeonjun still had enough sense of self to act on his own.
“Excuse me for a minute, I gotta do something.”
“Hurry back.”
Yeonjun got up from the table, stumbling a bit towards the door. He pulled out his phone and dialed your number. Of course he was met with the usual ringing, but this time things were different. As he was walking out he stopped, hearing a familiar sound. 
“Y/n, could you please pick up the phone, it’s your boyfriend calling.”
Yeonjun had recorded a special message for you to use as a ringtone whenever he called. So hearing it now sent chills down his spine, sobering him up in a second. He looked around the place, searching for the source, but it was naive to think you were there somehow. Out of the corner of his eye he caught the truth. Beomgyu pulled out a phone, your phone, quickly shutting it off before slowly looking up at Yeonjun. Their eyes met and for a moment the world froze. It was just the two of them in this silence, but the rage inside Yeonjun quickly burned away the cold and he stormed back over to the table. Yeonjun dropped his phone and reached over to pull Beomgyu close, getting up in his face.
“Why the fuck do you have y/n’s phone!”
“Yeonjun, I, I can explain.”
“What the fuck! I have been trying to reach her for weeks! Why the fuck do you have her phone!”
“Yeonjun, calm down!”
Everyone had sobered up in an instance. Soobin and Kai grabbed Yeonjun, pulling him away from Beomgyu. The boy took a few breaths, Taehyun looking him over. Yeonjun tried to free himself, a fire burning inside him, and his eyes locked on Beomgyu.
“Where is she!?” Yeonjun yelled. “Where is she, Beomgyu!?”
“Yeonjun…”
“Tell me! Where the fuck is she! You fucken bitch! Where-”
“Yeonjun, stop it.” Soobin interrupted. “Don’t do this here.”
“Let me go! I need him to tell me the truth.”
“That’s not gonna help.”
“Fuck you! Tell me where she is, Beomgyu! What has she told you!? Where is she!?”
“Yeonjun-”
“Where-”
“She’s gone!” Taehyun spat. “Yeonjun, she’s fucken dead.”
“… huh?”
“Taehyun, don’t.” Kai said. “This isn’t-”
“She got into a car accident a few weeks back.” Taehyun continued. “You were there, you went with her to the hospital and she… she didn’t make it…”
“… no… no… no, that’s not true! Liar! You fucken liar!”
“It’s true.” Beomgyu added. “You disappeared after the doctors pronounced her dead. You didn’t even go to her funeral. We didn’t see you for days, and when you suddenly reappeared you were talking about some fight and that you two were taking a break. You fucken gaslight yourself, and we just let you be cause surely you’d come to your senses eventually.”
“She… where is she?”
“I can tell you where she’s been laid to rest…”
“No, no… no…”
“We all miss her too, Yeonjun.” Kai added. “I’m sorry…”
“… you’re lying… you’re all liars…”
Yeonjun fell to his knees, his vision being blurred by tears. He didn’t want to believe any of this, yet his heart hurt like never before in this moment. Soobin and Kai let him go, cautiously stepping away to give him space. They all knew the truth had to surface somehow, but they didn’t want it to happen this way.
“Why did you have her phone?” Soobin questioned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was the one who took her belongings and before I could deactivate the phone I noticed Yeonjun kept texting and leaving messages. I couldn’t… I don’t know what would happen if I suddenly cut the line.”
“You should have told me you had it. I thought he did and he was feeding his own delusion. Why did you even bring it!?”
“I forgot to leave it at home, besides I didn’t think he’d leave a message right now.”
“Yeonjun- where did he go?”
When the others tried to look for Yeonjun they realized the boy was already gone, having run off when he had the chance. Yeonjun had no idea where he was running too, but he just had to get away. Tears blurred his vision, wiped away only for a moment by the wind. Somehow he wound up running away from civilization and out into the fields. The light from the sunrise illuminated his path, but it did nothing to soothe the pain in his chest. His legs could only take him so far and he eventually collapsed, falling to the ground. He struggled to breathe, the lack of air and pain from his tears making it hard to regain his breath. 
While he laid there images began to flash before him. A car wreck, fire, sirens in the distance getting louder and louder. The crowds around him, screaming and calling for help. A vague image of an injured hand sticking out from an overturned car. He stood frozen in place, taking in the whole scene before screaming and running towards the fire. Yeonjun jolted up, still in the field and looking around at the emptiness. He was alone, completely alone. He didn’t want to believe you were gone, he couldn’t, yet he felt it in his heart. All those dreams he had, they had truly been nightmares, memories of that day. Yet he wanted to deny it all.
“Please… please…”
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Yeonjun had gotten on his knees, praying, begging, to see you again. Things couldn’t end this way, definitely not like this. He had been terrible at times, unable to keep promises or leaving you alone in all kinds of ways. Still he loved you, he loved you more than anyone else, and he’d never love another like he loved you. So he prayed, begged, to anyone who would listen, if he could have you back, promising to never let go again.
“You lost her, didn’t you?”
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Yeonjun opened his eyes to see Beomgyu standing before him, then the boy kneeled down to embrace him in a hug.
“It’s okay, it’s okay… I lost her too…”
“She can’t be gone… she can’t be…”
“She is… but I can give her back.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Promise me you’ll look after her.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Yeonjun!!!”
Yeonjun turned around to see his friends running in his direction, all four of them. Once it clicked in his head he looked back at the Beomgyu by his side.
“What…”
“There isn’t much time. Please, promise us you’ll take care of her. She can’t be alone.”
“I…”
“Promise us.”
“… I promise.”
A blinding white light changed day into night. Yeonjun found himself alone once more, standing in the middle of nowhere. It took him a moment to truly regain his composure, confused about what had just happened.
“Yeonjun!”
Your voice, he had almost forgotten what it sounded like in real life, and not just some recording. Tears stung his eyes, except they were of joy this time. Although that feeling only lasted for a bit. When he turned around his eyes went wide, memories rushing in. That day you had come to pick him up, the two of you planning to get the others and you were all going to go on a weekend trip. He had a bad day at work and just snapped at you for no reason. You were rightfully upset, telling him to get himself together and call you when he wanted to be picked up. You drove off without another word. He already regretted his actions as he watched you leave, and when he turned his back he heard a loud noise.
Screams soon filled the air and he ran over, seeing smoke rising into the air. He was met with a horrifying scene. Your car was turned over, some other idiot hitting you and causing the whole wreck. He was frozen in shock, being able to see your hand sticking out of a broken window. When he saw your fingers move he snapped into action and rushed over. It was all really a blur from there but now he stood before a similar scenario. There was an overturned car just off the road, a giant fire roaring from it and the bits of debris around were also engulfed in flames. You were on your hands and knees before a body, screaming and crying.
“Yeonjun! Yeonjun! Yeonjun, get up! Please, Yeonjun… Yeonjun… you can’t leave me alone… please… Yeonjun! Get up! Please… please… yeonjun…”
Yeonjun wasn’t dreaming this time, or reliving a memory, this was something else entirely, and there was no waking up to reality. This was the real world, and it was like deja vu. He took a shaky step forward, one foot after another. Your name escaped his lips as a whisper, in the moment he struggled to call to you although seeing you again was what he had desperately wanted. As he got closer he noticed four other bodies scattered around, and your face became clearer, illuminated by the fire.
“… y/n…”
“… yeonjun… please wake up… please…”
“Y/n.”
Yeonjun choked back tears as he said your name. From where he was he could see your clothes were torn up, and that you were covered in cuts and bruises. When you looked up to meet his eyes he froze. It really was you, he could never forget those beautiful eyes, even when they were full of tears and agony. He couldn’t forget your face either, regardless of how many injuries decorated it.
“Yeonjun…?”
“Y/n.”
“Yeonjun… Yeonjun!”
You scrambled to your feet, ignoring the searing pain from your leg as you finally stood. You tried to run, but it was more of a desperate limp as you made your way over to Yeonjun, tears blurring your vision. Maybe this was all just some hallucination, or maybe Yeonjun had come back for you, either way there was only one way to know for sure. Yeonjun caught you in his arms, almost in disbelief that it was really you. He held you tightly, so fearful you’d suddenly disappear again.
“Yeonjun, is it really you…?” You sobbed into his shirt. “Don’t leave me alone… please…”
“No… no, I’m not going anywhere… I got you… I promise.”
Yeonjun’s legs gave out, the adrenaline wearing off, but he kept his hold on you. The two of you collapsed to the ground, but neither said much. Yeonjun stared at the car wreck, slowly looking down at your battered body. The car suddenly exploded, causing you to scream and hold Yeonjun tighter. He did his best to shield you, watching the flames grow brighter, and noting all the bodies were suddenly gone.
“Yeonjun… what’s going on?”
When Yeonjun heard his name he looked over to see his friends walking towards him. They looked worried, and confused, coming to Yeonjun for answers, but he had none.
“I… I don’t know…”
Yeonjun noticed his friends covered in injuries as well, their clothes different from when he last saw them and now torn up. He suddenly winced, looking down at his own body, seeing injuries that hadn’t been there before, and realizing his own clothes had changed.
“I thought you were dead…” You sobbed. “I thought you were all gone…”
“Y/n?” Kai questioned. “Is that…”
“We’re all okay.” Yeonjun cut in. “We’re all gonna be okay. I promise.”
The boys all looked at each other, but now wasn’t the time for questions. Soobin and Taehyun helped you and Yeonjun get up. You were in no position to walk, so Soobin picked you up in his arms, carrying you bridal style and having you wrap your arms around his neck. They all had a vague sense as to where to go, starting to walk away from the wreck. Yeonjun stayed close to you, softly petting your head and assuring you he was right here with you, they all were. Your eyes stared deeply into his, feeling that his words were true. Yeonjun saw the fire reflecting in your eyes, seeing something strange and turning around. Among the flames he saw five silhouettes, not needing to wonder what that was.
“I promise.”
The smoke overtook the fire and he turned back to you, offering you a smile. You reached out to hold his hand and he took it, feeling the warmth it brought him. He may not know the past here but whatever the future held he knew you’d see it all together, and make new memories. He leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on your hand, forever grateful his prayers were answered. Yeonjun would keep his promise, as he was sure they all would.
“Yeonjun.”
“Hm?”
“Everything’s gonna be okay… we’re gonna be okay… right?”
“Yes. I promise.”t
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nataliekabra · 2 months
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started crying in the middle of class because for SOME reason i thought it was a good idea to read a book i knew would remind me of my grandfather while my prof is droning on about hashing in class. literally fuck me
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isawitbefore · 1 year
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“Do you remember what I told you about failing?”
“The only time you’ve failed is if you don’t try once more.”
Fredrik Backman, AND EVERY MORNING THE WAY HOME GETS LONGER AND LONGER
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stcinbecks · 2 years
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Fredrik Backman, And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer
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strangerfae · 2 years
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I pretty much cried the whole time reading Frederik Blackman's "and every morning the way home gets longer and longer"
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mylifeinfiction · 2 years
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And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer by Fredrik Backman
"We lived an extraordinarily ordinary life." "An ordinarily extraordinary life."
Wow. Just... just... Wow. Fredrik Backman never ceases to amaze me. The amount of creative heart and empathy and wit with which his writing is teeming is simply astonishing. How he can handle such emotionally heavy moments and themes with such expertly calculated care and much-needed brevity so constantly is a feat most could only dream of. This is such a beautifully imaginative little novella about coming to terms with forgetting... with saying goodbye. It's a lightning quick read that I'm certain I'll be thinking about for days (weeks?) to come. It'll have you bawling throughout - in the most satisfyingly cathartic manner possible - but never so much as in the wallop that is its final moments. Damn.
"It's too late now." She laughs inside his brain then. "Darling obstinate you. It's never too late to ask your son about something he loves."
10/10
-Timothy Patrick Boyer.
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I decided to listen to And Every Morning The Way Home Gets Longer and Longer audiobook while I was working out today. Anyway now I’m crying in the gym
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losingmyselfinsleep · 9 months
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“I miss you, my love.”
“I’m still with you, darling difficult you.”
“But only in my memories now. Only here.”
“That doesn’t matter. This was always my favorite part of you.”
And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer, Fredrik Backman
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magical-book-lush · 1 year
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And Every Morning The Way Home Gets Longer and Longer ~ Book Review.
Hello, people. How are you? How have you been feeling lately? I had my first-ever migraine attack and it was painful. I have been taking proper medications and visiting a doctor. It will take me time to get back to my day-to-day life and it is so weird that a few months ago when I heard about migraine, I would feel like it was just a normal headache but now that I have it, I can feel how…
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cuteniaarts · 1 month
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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November is cold, so books and blankets and tea have been my list of requirements for the last thirty days and what a combo, highly recommend.
I have read 22 books in the month of November, covering a range of genres, some of them were pretty good, with four five star books that cover fantasy, horror, manga and contemporary.
these are those books (dun dun).
The Promised Neverland Vol. 1 by Kaiu Shirai - Oh man, this first volume of this manga series is incredible. Setting the story up perfectly, I can't wait to read more of this series, the second volume being just as good almost as this. The story of children kept in an orphanage for reasons they discover to be pretty messed up, this series has storytelling for days and characters that are complex and really display incredible humanity.
The World We Make by N.K. Jemisin - Probably one of my favourite series of all the time, if a duology counts, both of these books are just incredible to me. The story of New York coming to life as people who represent the boroughs of the city (even Staten Island) this book really creates incredible relationships and immerses you into New York so much so it makes you feel like you've visited even though you barely know what a passport is, nevermind New York. These are an incredible couple of books.
A Dowry Of Blood by S.T. Gibson - I am never on for the books hyped on TikTok I'll be honest with you,I don't really know where the influence ends now and the money begins but this one, this is a really good book. The story of one of the wives of Dracula from her perspective, it is written beautifully, sexily and with incredible feeling. It leaves you with so many thoughts, feelings and how this book connects back to the classic, Dracula is done subtlely by well. A short read too, I highly recommend.
And Every Morning The Way Home Gets Longer and Longer by Fredrik Backman - A tiny novella about a grandad, a son and a grandson, this book made me cry from about page three. It's so tenderly written and maybe in moments a little cliche, but it is a really lovely read that pings the heartstrings. I think some people may consider the grandson a little precocious, but cos alot of this book is from inside the grandpa's head whose beginning to see the effects of dementia, I think much of what he says is what the grandpa would think look, I love this book and it's 76 pages, read it and let me know what you think!
What have you been reading in November? I'd love to hear!
Vee xo.
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gojorgeous · 5 months
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arranged marriage! gojo heacanons
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pairing: gojo x fem!reader synopsis: just some headcanons about arranged marriage gojo! headcanons do follow a linear plot content: MDNI (18+ONLY), nsfw & sfw content, arranged marriage, p->v, oral (fem!receiving), pregnancy, breeding, not proofread because i'm lazy!!! a/n: i had a request to do a sort of expansion/sequel/prequel (?) on my business or pleasure fic, so... this is that. enjoy! and remember AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!! divider credit to: @cafekitsune wc: 2k (that's so much headcanon lmao)
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Arranged Marriage! Gojo who reluctantly agrees to an arranged marriage when the clan decides it’s time to secure the lineage and make a new heir.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose jaw nearly drops when he sees you for the first time as you’re walking down the aisle. No way you’re that hot… 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who’s practically rocking on his feet waiting for the minister to give him permission to kiss you. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who drags said kiss on a little (a lot) longer than he needed to and spends the rest of the night wishing he’d dragged it on even longer.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who’s actually really pissed that there are so many damned guests at his wedding. All of them want to talk to him when all he really wants to do is talk to you!!! 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who only gets about three words into you the whole night and feels like pouting every time someone pulls him away from your arm. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who finally relaxes a bit when the party’s over and he finally gets you alone. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who has a hard time keeping his hands to himself on the drive home. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who can’t help but stare at your lips as you answer his silly little questions about your favorite color and your favorite food.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who has to restrain himself from literally pulling you out of the car and up to his penthouse. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who suddenly finds himself a little nervous when he finally has you to himself. It’s his wedding night and he has to please his wife, right? 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who revels in tearing away your dress until he sees the lacy little white set you have on underneath.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who pins your wrists to the bed just so he can admire the way you look beneath him. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who nearly comes with no warning the first time he hears you moan his name. He decides it’s his sole purpose in life to make you moan like that as much as possible. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who is somehow both gentle and rough, who peppers you with kisses but rocks into you so good he has you seeing stars. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who thinks he ascends when you come around his cock and then ascends again when he remembers he married you and gets to see it for the rest of his life. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who makes sure to cum inside you and give you every last drop. After all, you have to make a new little Gojo heir, right?
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who holds you tightly to his chest until you drift off to sleep with your head atop his heart. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who takes the next two hours to be able to fall asleep himself, too hyped up on all the endorphins he’s feeling.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose brow furrows and stomach drops when he wakes the next morning to you not in his arms. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who scours the house for you and finds you in the living room reading, already having been up for hours. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose heart fractures a little bit when you greet him soooooo formally and tell him that there’s some breakfast in the fridge. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who spends far too long in the shower, letting the water run over him and trying to figure out where he went wrong. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who comes to the conclusion that he just needs to win you over a little more slowly, who smiles and thinks he knows exactly how to do it. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who finds you still reading on the couch and tells you to get ready to go out– you’re going shopping. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who takes you to every designer shop he can think of and buys everything your eyes so much as graze over. Even if you tell him you don’t want it– he doesn’t care. You’re getting it. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose heart flutters in his chest when you smile at a pretty little necklace he buys you. It’s not the most expensive thing he’s bought you by far, but it makes you the happiest nonetheless. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who’s confused as to why you keep thanking him so profusely on the way home. His money is your money now… do you not know that? 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who makes a stop at the bank on the way home and gets you a flashy black credit card with your name (and new last name hehe) printed at the bottom. He loves the way your eyes widen and your lips part when he tells you there’s no limit. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who asks you what you want to do that night. Fly to Paris for dinner? Pack for a vacation to Bali? Maybe just a fancy meal at Tokyo’s most exclusive restaurant? He’s shocked when you say you’d prefer takeout and a movie on the couch, but all too happy to oblige.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who orders half the menu at your favorite ramen restaurant that he’s never heard of. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose eyes go wide when he takes the first bite and tells you it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who stares at your lips when you laugh and ask him, “really? The best?” 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who’s suddenly tugging your skirt down your thighs and burying his face between your legs. He takes one long lick and moans, saying that the ramen is now only second-best. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who thinks he could fuck you for hours on his couch, but stops after just a few rounds. He doesn’t want to tire his little baby out. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who savors the way you let him hold you after sex. Why couldn’t he hold you like this all day? So what if you’d just met– you’re his wife??? 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who buries his face in your neck to memorize the moment, dreading the second you pull away from him. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who almost protests when you wrap a blanket around your body and pad off, saying you’re going to take a shower.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who debates cornering you in the bathroom for another round, if only so he can hold you again, but thinks better of it and cleans up your forgotten ramen instead.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who is completely exasperated when you never return to finish the movie. He finds you sitting in your shared bed, reading again. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose heart drops when you only look up long enough to give him a small smile instead of tumbling straight into his arms. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who finds himself once again in the shower contemplating his existence. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who decides he’ll win you over one way or another, even if it takes longer than he originally intended… 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who climbs into bed next to you and slings an arm around your waist casually, like his heart isn’t hammering in his chest when he buries his face in his pillow. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who doesn’t truly fall asleep until you turn off your bedside lamp and lie down beside him. His heart does little skips when you don’t wiggle out from under his arm. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who wakes first in the morning this time to find you curled so tightly into his chest he’s sure his pounding heart is going to wake you. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose eyes turn into little hearts when you wake blushing after you realize how closely you’ve curled into him. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who tells you it’s okay and pulls you back into him and smirks when you can't see his face.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who spends the next few weeks buying you every knick and knack, every snack and meal, and bending you every surface in the house. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose eyes light up whenever he sees you wearing that little necklace he bought you on that very first shopping trip. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who buys you another necklace… this one with his initials dangling from the chain. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who makes you ride him so he can see his letters swaying from your neck as you come on his cock. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who spends every waking moment with you on his mind, who gets in a sticky situation while fighting more than once because he’s waiting for you to text him back or remembering all the nasty things he did to you last night. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who finally takes a look at the pages of those books you like so much and realizes the pure filth his dirty little wife reads right beside him every night. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who’s not angry or put off, but rather excited. He uses it as a manual the next he has you under him and when he repeats a line verbatim from your book he laughs so loud at your shocked little blush that he’s sure you’re both getting a noise complaint in the morning. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who makes every effort to find out what you like (beyond reading smut) and buys you front row tickets to a concert for a band that you both happen to love. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who finds out your favorite movie series and takes three (unapproved) days off of work just to have a marathon with you. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who is having his morning coffee (full of cream and sugar and caramel sauce, of course) when you make your way into the kitchen with your lip pulled between your teeth. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo whose eyes blow wide when he sees a stick with two little pink lines and realizes he’s managed to knock you up on the first try.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who simply has to have you right then and there, bending you over the counter and groaning your name when he slides inside your cunt. He’s gentler this time, though. Can’t be too rough when his wife is pregnant, right? 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who goes overboard with his excitement and buys a new car the same day he finds out you’re pregnant. It’s practically a tank with all its safety features. He says you’re only allowed in that specific vehicle for the foreseeable future. Get used to it. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who’s all over you now. Whatever restraint he had before is gone now that you’re carrying his baby. He touches you… everywhere. All the time. It’s like it pains him to not have at least a smidgen of his skin on yours. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who keeps trying to win you over in the following weeks. He needs you. Not just your body, but your mind and your soul, too!
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who just lets it slip that he loves you when he’s balls deep in your cunt. Doesn’t even get embarrassed or flustered about it, just keeps pounding into you and whining about how much he loves you over and over again while he’s filling you up. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who lets the floodgates open after that. He tells you he loves you at every opportunity. It gets to the point where those three little words don’t even fluster you anymore, but you haven’t said them back. Not yet. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who waits patiently. He knows he’s getting to you, little by little. He’s sure he’ll hear you say it back soon. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who’s blindsided despite having convinced himself he’d be able to play it cool. He’s got you on the couch, wrapped up in his arms with his head on your tummy (he gets to hold you as much as he wants now hehe). You’re braiding his hair when you tell him that you love him. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who flushes the deepest shade of pink you’ve ever seen and pulls down his blindfold like he needs to see you say it again.
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who begs to hear it again and again and again until he’s smiling so wide it's literally blinding. 
Arranged Marriage! Gojo who thinks his arranged marriage was definitely the best thing to ever happen to him <3
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taglist (DM me to be added!): @lacheri, @la-undercover-latina
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