#and everybody say happy birthday anon!!

[ipegchangbin]

hi z <333

sorry I was gone for so long but i had school stuff to take care of </3 I was really surprised that people were open to my prompts...it made me very happy

the reason I like bully reader and loser channie is that its rare to be loved unconditionally especially when this person knows of all your flaws

loser channie sees readers "bad side" yet he still loves them and idk....that just seems so nice

this dynamic reminds me of that of san and ashitaka in princess monopole. idk if u ever watched it but it was made in the 90s by studio Ghibli

SPOILER FOR MOVIE san has a knife to ashitakas neck and she's threatening him but he just tells her to keep living and that she's beautiful

another scene she stabs him and he just hugs her

HEAD IN HANDS.....

I also have a song rec for this dynamic ( its German lol ) its called leichter//kälter by Edwin Rosen

basically the song is about how the singers love interest/partner/ex??? says its easier to stand barefoot in the snow than being with him because he is so much colder than the snow

and that made me think.....what if channie is basically at his wits end??and just breaks down and asks reader what he did for her to act so cold towards him ( very angsty im sorry 😔)

now smut maybe I will give it my best 👍

channie and reader watching tiktoks and they come across one with the caption "<<<<<<<when he moans and whimpers" with whatever sound is popular that week and channie looks curiously at reader and asks "are you into that too?? like everyone in the comments???" and they're like "duhhh!!! wait, have you been holding back 🤨🤨🤨" and he admits that yes, he has been holding back because he's embarrassed and scared of readers reaction

so reader starts out by pulling his hand back which makes channie yelp from the sudden pain. reader is grinning now "so that's what it sounds like, huh?" what follows is them groping and pinching channie until he gets hard ( which doesn't take much tbh ) ( Inspo for this is the members groping him on stage during the concert lmao ) maybe they're pinching his nipples and lightly scratching their nails over his arms and torso until they reach his dick. reader then harshly grabs his dick and asks "this is mine, right?" their grip gets tighter the longer he takes to answer. he stammers out "ye-yes, its yours and i-im yours" , "if its mine and you're mine why are you keeping those cute noises to yourself?"

after that channie can't really talk and for the first time he has sex without holding himself back <333 congrats channie on this milestone 🥳🥳🥳

other head canons / scenarios

channie working out more and reader noticing his efforts<33

this strokes his ego on an insane level

will not stop thinking about readers comments even if its smth simple like "you've gotten bigger" or just them feeling him up and staring at him

reader wants to join a session

reader thinks they can get into some gym hijinks and that maybe they can mess with him there ( either touching him or wearing short clothing )

what they do not expect is channie working out topless and lifting so effortlessly

channie seems to come alive in the gym and this new found confidence is simply just magnetic/attractive

he confidently talks to all the guys there and jokes around with them

shows them how to lift

introduces reader as his gf/bf <3333

channie notices them getting flustered and shy but doesn't mention it but makes the effort to invite them more often to the gym

reader def grovels during the post workout meal

reader being the big spoon because they're just more comfy that way

or channie cuddling into readers chest/pecs and being held close by them

reader remembering channies fave breakfast food and making it for him almost every time he stays over ( according to them its because its quick and easy and not because channie likes it even though it creates extra dishes )

reader using their expensive skincare on him and including him in their selfcare days ( think face and hair masks , mani pedis at home and eating expensive snacks )

reader buying channie sunflowers every time they see some because they remind them of him but they don't tell him that

what channie gets to hear is that they "found them on the side of the road", "they were on sale", "the flower shop wanted to throw them away", "my friend had extra" etc. they come up with a new excuse each time, very creative of them 👏👏👏

ANYWAYS...sorry this is so long but my brain was backed up with thoughts

BTW...did u read CB97percents pic of chan !!!!!! its called wolf by the tail i think , I am so deeply in love with simp chan its insane

if there was a tier list of loser chan it would be like this

simp chan

loser chan

crybaby chan

sensitive Yandere chan

ok now fr ,, talk to u soon <3

with love,

your bully anon

BULLY ANON I LOVE YOU. AND HAPPY CHAN DAY!!! welcome back and thank you as always for indulging and bestowing us with your beautiful thoughts

first question: when will you make this a fic. HDJSJD I JUST LOVE THE WAY YOURE GOING ABOUT THIS!!! bully anon youre really creative and your concepts are amusing. if anything id love to write a fic for this but im waiting on YOU!!

second question: may i indulge in some headcanons for this loser boy? i hope your answer was yes, because i present to you a point-per-point series of

— sub ! loser ! chan headcanons 💭

long post, so im continuing under the cut ^_^

— princess mononoke parallels:

I SEE WHAT YOURE TALKING ABT WITH PRINCESS MONONOKE OMG the parallels between san & bully reader + ashitaka & chan :(( after everything they’ve been through together, they still love each other almost unconditionally, much like ashitaka’s drive to protect san even if it isn’t the wisest idea. bully!y/n may not be the kindest to chan and their own feelings, but chan’s confident that they’ll figure their love out: he loves them nonetheless, no matter their state. ;_;

— parallels to leichter//kälter by edwin rosen

while its a banger track, i cant help but feel like the lyrics relate to them a ton. even through translations it’s still easy to read the song as something chan would sing to y/n, asking and telling them at the same time that they’re so cold. there’s a lyric that goes “your lips are purple like the flowers i’ll never buy you” (apologies if that’s mistranslated) and honestly? chan would definitely still buy those flowers for them, but maybe a part of him hesitates still considering y/n’s antics. he doesn’t know if they’ll be extra mean to him about it. your scenario hurts, too: chan would finally muster up the courage to ask them why they treat him this way even if he knows they’re confused with their feelings for him, but…maybe it leads to them opening up to each other, them navigating through their own feelings out of mean sex for once, and ends with a confession from the reader, who knows :D

— a “<<<when he moans and whimpers” tiktok

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENARIO IS BEAUTIFUL just chan giving up and shamelessly letting y/n do anything to him after they stumble upon the tiktok. yk how in the same concerts, chan just puts his hands up and shuts his eyes as the members go ham on teasing his body? i think he would do the same, whimpering and squirming like a needy puppy, babbling y/n’s name over and over as they tease him. y/n probably even lets chan use his words less, preferring him to be noisy instead, spanking him ever so slightly by his thighs when he dares to bite his lips to hold back the groans again <33 congrats channie indeed!!!

— loser!chan being less of a loser at the gym

this. maybe it’s my gym rat agenda, but gym boy channie has my heart!!! i love the thought of y/n seeing him transition from being the timid boy in class to being a confident muscleman. he acts as if the gym is his second home, giggling when he notices y/n watching him be himself with wide confused eyes. chan only ever gets shy again when y/n does their reps in an undeniably sexy way. it doesn’t matter if their form is perfect, them popping hidden muscles out is making chan go crazy. y/n probably gets him off in the locker rooms when they’re alone; i love to think that y/n praises his body instead of being too mean, and it’s so new for the both of them. reader being Actually Nice about him and his body, worshipping him, teasing him for calling them “his s/o” in front of his gym friends, saying “your s/o definitely loves it when you’re confident, my channie” ^^ it actually makes him smile even if they’re getting him off!! they still call him a pathetic whiny baby in the middle of it, but there’s much more well deserved praising here.

— domesticity with loser!chan

y/n taking care of chan is EVERYTHING. imagine slow mornings with the both of them. let’s face it, they’ve probably have the roughest sex the night prior: while chan loves getting degraded by y/n, he loves it more when they pamper him the day after. y/n never always denies that they’re practically spoiling him at that point, but chan finds it cute when they’re cooing at him and asking him if the spank marks sting as they cuddle. they smear moisturizer all over his face and neck after breakfast and chan notices how delicate their touch is all of a sudden. they run their fingers over the hickeys and love bites on chan’s neck and lips with a featherlike touch. y/n, on the other hand, notices how chan leans into their touch with longing and love in his eyes. they’re so whipped for each other :((

— bully!reader being less of a bully and giving chan flowers

there’s something about this scenario that just clicks: even if there’s literally no special occasion, y/n still leaves him a very specific set of sunflowers that can’t possibly just pop in their hands by coincidence. chan’s favorite excuse is “a suitor gave this to me, but i dumped him because his breath stank, so just have this.” what softens y/n’s heart, though, is when they came over to see chan taking good care of the sunflowers by his apartment’s balcony for the first time. he smiled at them, watering can in hand, excitedly pointing at the flowers. “look! the flowers you gave me last week! they’re staring at the sun.” y/n can’t resist smooching him on the cheek because he shines brighter than the yellow petals.

— general loser!chan thoughts

honestly bully anon? you’ve bumped loser chan to SSS tier on my personal channie au tier list, but i honestly can’t agree more with you! something about this au with him fits him so well. i guess he kind of is a simp and a loser at the same time, at least that’s how i perceive it. the one common thing that i love about these channie aus is that he just has this sort of undying and passionate love that’s almost unconditional. it really suits him considering and it mirrors his dedicated self really well, but these characters taking the persona to these extremes is honestly so amusing. y/n can do anything to him, like be mean or kind, and loser chan would eat it up even if it makes him look pathetic. his unwavering love is just so attractive ^^

thank you as ALWAYS for sending your thoughts in, i love these so much and i’d love to see more from you! and hope others chime in and enjoy this as much as we did <3

p.s. im sorry for responding so late!! there was a lot on my plate but this entire message marinated in my head for the longest time. i cant stress enough how many times ive read this over and over. its just so lovely and im happy to share it right on chans birthday !

p.p.s. OMG YES I HAVE READ WOLF BY THE TAIL (shoutout my favorite minho hunter, ren) im just as obsessed with their simp!chan. ^^

[bimiio]

It's my 28th birthday and I'm laying here daydreaming of having my face in my girlfriend's bush but she's in another state T-T

u r literally bein so brave baby i’m so sorry </3 happy birthday!!!!

[rabble-dabble]

Good news, funny Johnkat man, it's my birthday.

as your local johnkat and homestuck guy my response is HAPPY FUCKING WRIGGLING DAY, MAY IT BE GLORIOUS

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: anon request - "Hey so it's my birth day tmr and was just wondering if you could write something for me like Zach justice x reader and he has a guest on the podcast and he gets jealous and the at the end of the podcast they have a cute moment before leaving and going home for like a rough but passionate smut" 

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, Matt Rife Warning, Zach being Zach, banter, guest flirting with reader, Zach getting jealous, kissing, biting, hair pulling, slight choking, slightly rough and unprotected sex, fluff with a dash of filth 

Word count: 4.9k | unedited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

"So are you finally going to tell me who the special guest is?" You ask as you look at Zach through your phone screen. 

He laughs, "Mm, what's in it for me?" 

"Because tomorrow is my birthday and you'll be making me happy?" You say slowly and laugh, "come on." You pout into the camera and Zach sighs, "Stop being cute." 

You smirk slightly and tilt your head as he continues, "or at least come be cute in my bed." You let out a laugh, "I think that that's my cue for going to bed." 

"Laaaame." Zach drags out loudly. You scoff, "excuse me?" He laughs, "I said saaame. Goodnight." 

You roll your eyes, "goodnight." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You show up to the house and walk through the door. Tara is standing with Alyssa and you walks up to them, "Hey." 

"Hey!" Tara says, "Are you excited for today's show?" 

You roll your eyes, "Zach wouldn't tell me who's coming." Alyssa laughs, "Really?" You nod, "I called him last night to see if he would tell me.. nope." 

"Oh, well it's Matt Rife." Alyssa fills you in, "I have a feeling that Zach is going to be very jealous today." 

Your brows furrow and you look between her and Tara, "Why.. um, why do you say that?" Tara rolls her eyes, "Please. That man is head over heels for you, y/n." 

You laugh, shaking your head, "There'a no way." 

"Alright party people, let's get ready to get this show on the road." Zach yells as he walks to his seat, "Special guest will be here in five." 

You roll your eyes and make your way to your seat. Matt is going to sit where you normally sit, which is right next to Zach, so you sit in the seat next to Matt's. 

"Fuck, sorry I'm late." Matt says as he rushes in through the door, "I'm here now." 

Zach holds his hand up, "There he is. What's up, brother?" Matt walks up to Zach and give him a hand shake. He looks over at Jared saying hello to him and Tara before he look at you. 

You're not looking at him, but you can tell his eyes are on you, and Zach secretly hates it already. Matt sits down and he waves to Alyssa, "Hey." 

Alyssa smiles and puts her headphones on, along with everything else.

"What's up everybody, welcome back to drop outs." Zach says and you all cheer, "We have a special guest with us today, and it also happens to be very special day for someone else." 

"Haaa-py biirthday.." Jared initiates by singing and soon everyone joins in. 

"Happy birthday dear y/n. Happy birthday to you!" 

"Thank you." You smile, "Thank you." 

"Alright, now moving on to the more special part." Zach says and motions to Matt, "Matt Rife everybody." 

"What's uppp." Matt smiles before looking to Zach, "Don't be mean to her. It's her birthday." 

Zach looks taken aback for a split second before covering it up, "Yeah, you're definitely new here." Zach rolls his eyes, "Anyway." 

"Oh. Wait!" Tara yells and stands up as she takes her headphones off. She runs off the set and over to her bag. Everyone is watching her and she comes back over with a tiara that says Birthday Girl in cursive, "Here!" 

"Weird way to propose, but my answer is still yes." You laugh and look up at her from the tiara in your hands, "Thank you." 

She takes it from your hands, placing the tiara gently on your head and fixes your hair, "You heard it here first everyone, this bitch is mine." 

Zach raises an eyebrow as you look over at him and you roll your eyes as you smirk, "Zach." He shrugs, "What? You were thinking it too because you wouldn't have accepted Tara's marriage proposal if you didn't." 

You tilt your head, raising your hand as you shrug, "Okay." You look over at Tara, "You got me there." 

Tara puts her headphones on and leans in with a smirk, "I think I actually just fell in love with you, y/n." She laughs and you smile as you look around. 

As the rest of you get lost in conversation, Zach's eyes zone in on the tiara resting perfectly on your head. His mind goes to watching you drop down to your knees and bob your head on his dick with it on. 

"I think Zach fell asleep on us." Jared teases, "What the hell man? Are we that boring today?" Jared laughs and Zach looks at everyone, "I'm just not feeling it today." 

"Everyone hold on." Alyssa laughs, "He's up to something." 

"Are you okay, Zach?" You ask looking at him and he nods slightly, "Yeah," Quickly changing the subject, "So Matt, your profession is comedian, right?" 

Matt nods, "Something like that, yeah." 

"Huh." Zach nods, "What is your favorite thing to do within the show?" Matt purses his lips as he thinks, "Crowd work." 

"That was my favorite thing to do at our live show." Tara nods, "getting to interact with the people was so fun." 

"Exactly, exactly. And most of the people who come to my shows, know exactly what they're in for." Matt continues and you nod, "I can can agree that." 

Matt turns his head, "You've been to one of my shows?" He smirks slightly and you smile, "I have." 

"Which one?" He tilts his head and you laugh, "Liberty, I think? Cincinnati or something. I don't know but you went back and forth with someone who was a stripper." 

Matt laughs and that causes Zach to clench is fist. He reflexed when Tara started talking, but he resorted to picking at his nails. 

"Wait wait wait you need to eleborate." Tara laughs, "Please." 

"Yeah we need context of this stripper incident." Jared laughs and Matt sighs, laughing as he starts to tell the story. 

You look past Matt and stare at Zach. 

His stare is on you and you squint your eyes at him. He  purses his lips slightly and quickly winks at you. You smirk and so does he because he has you blushing. 

"so yeah, but like I said, people basically pay to come get bullied by me." Matt nods, eyes flicking from your eyes to your chest. 

"Have you ever hurt anyone's feelings by doing that?" Zach asks and Matt laughs, "Dude, are you not caught up with me?" 

Zach sighs, "What the heck." He pulls out his phone and starts to google him, "Matt Rife Controversies." 

"I love how he made controvers-ies, like more than one." Alyssa laughs and Jared nods, "Uh huh. Right." 

"So while we wait, "Y/n. Are you excited about your big birthday bash tonight?" Tara says moving around to get comfortable, "I can tell you that I am so fucking ready to drink." 

You nod, "Oh my god. I actually can't wait. I just got pictures of the venue being set up and it looks so good so far." You pull out your phone and go to the pictures. 

You hand your phone to Tara and she swipes through, "Oh hell yeah." 

"What time does it start?" Matt asks and you look at him, "You can come anytime after eight." He nods, "anytime after eight, got it." 

This had Zach's blood boiling, "So you have made a lot of people mad." Zach chuckles, really wanting this podcast to be done and over with already. 

Matt laughs, "Yeah, yeah. But I mean, that's honestly party of the gig." He shrugs, "I'm not for everyone and that is something that actually took a while for me to come to good terms with." 

You carry on the conversation and a few others for the next hours and a half. 

Zach couldn't wait until Alyssa said you all were good so he can finally get you alone for more than a few seconds. 

Once the time comes he rips his headphones off of his head and rests them on the mic, "Thank you for coming onto the podcast, Mr. Rife." 

Matt stands up, shaking his hand, "Thanks for having me." He points to you, "I hate to rush off but I have a few other things to do, but I'll see you guys later, yeah?" 

You nod, "See ya." You wave and Tara waves, "Bye, Matt!" Alyssa waves and says by to him and right before he walked out he turns back, "Happy birthday, sweetheart." 

Zach wanted to mock him horribly, but that would just be so out is the blue that people would start to question it, so he turns his eyes to you. 

You smile and nod, looking back at him, "Thank you." 

Matt gives you a wink and you turn back around, "Are we getting ready at my place or.. where do you want to meet?" You ask Tara and Alyssa. 

"We can do it at my place." Alyssa nods, "Plus, I am close to the venue, so if we did need to we walk it's not far at all." 

"Yes that works." You nod, "Okay. I'm going to go home and get my stuff ready. I will meet you guys at Alyssa's say.. six?" 

They both nod and you give them a thumbs up, "Love yas. See yas." You go to turn and walk away but Zach walks up to you, "Hold your horses for a second." 

You laugh and you turn around, mocking him, "I don't have horses." He smirks and tilts his head, "C'mere for a sec would ya?" 

"Why?" You sigh, tilting your own head, "I need to go shower." He smirks, "You'll get a shower, I promise now come here." 

He pulls you into the hallway leading to the stairs and he looks down at you. You and Zach have been good friends for a while now, even made out when he took you home drunk the one night. 

You know the look he's giving you. You take a quiet breath, "Who told you?" 

He smirks, "Eyes talk, sweetheart." 

You bite your lip and you smile, "So are you coming home with me because I need to get my shit around." 

He tilts his head, "Do you want me to come home with you?" You chew on your lip, this wave of boldness washing over you. 

You lean in, "I have my own house. No one can hear anything." You lean back and smirk as you tilt your head towards the door, "Come on." 

He follows you out to the car and gets into your passengers seat. You get in and look over at him, "So can I ask you something?"

You start your car and start to back out of the parking space and Zach nods, reaching over to slip his fingers into the rip of your jeans. 

His gentle touch right above your knee driving you absolutely insane, "So, why now?" You glance over at him and he furrows his brows, "not following." 

You sigh, laughing slightly, "why did you wait until now to finally tell me that you liked me, too?" 

"I didn't say a word." 

You look over at him, tension building rapidly the longer your eyes hold on his, "You didn't have to." 

You lick your lips and look away, beginning to drive when the light turns green. His finger still brushing against your leg, itching for you to grab his hand and hold it within yours. 

"So how do you feel about Matt being on the podcast?" You look over at Zach and he shrugs, "It is what it is." You roll your eyes, resting your arm on the consol as you dangle your hand right above his wrist, finger tips barely grazing his skin. 

"Why are you acting like it wasn't a good podcast? I mean other than you being pouting and flirting with me on the down low." 

You poke his arm and Zach groans, "Alright, you yanked my dick enough." He laughs and you roll your eyes, "You wish I did." 

He points to you and smirks, "And that my friends, is a true statement." 

You laugh, "Get on with it." You say as you pull into your driveway. You put the car in park and reach down to unbuckle, "We're not leaving this car until you tell me what I wanna know." 

Zach opens his mouth, repeating exactly what you say at the same time you do, "It's my birthday, Zach. You have to be nice." 

Your mouth drops and he gives you a nod, "Yes, princess. It's your birthday. Now.." he tilts his head, fighting back a laugh, "we needed to talk, and it needed to be somewhere you could take your clothes off.. " he fights back a smirk, "So, we can fuck in here or we can fuck in there." He points to your house and looks back at you. 

You smirk, "who said anything about fuckin'?" He lays a hand on his chest, "Oh is this not why you brought me to your house? My apologies." 

You roll your eyes, "You sound so jealous right now." 

He scoffs, "Jealous of what, y/n?" 

You press your elbow into the center console and rest your chin in your palm, "You know, you flirt, I mean.. fuck around with me every time I'm on the show and every time you see me, but never.." You hold up your pointer finger, and right now he's doing what you're doing and his face in an inch away from your finger. 

"Not once." You move your hand and look into his eyes, "Did you pull me aside and give me that kind of a look." 

"Explain this.. this look." He tilts his head, cheek now resting in the palm of his hand, "But you might want to make it quick because I don't want you to bitch because I made you late." 

You roll your eyes, "You looked at me like you were in love." He slowly grows closer and you lick your lips quickly as your eyes bounce from his to his eyes. 

"You ever think that maybe I am?" He whispers and you can't help but smirk, "I mean.. not like I was going to make that my birthday candle wish or anything."

He laughs, "Okay. I'll give you that one, that one was funny." You laugh and look at him, "Was Matt flirting sure me the final straw?" 

You see him nod slightly and you bite your bottom lip.

His eyes flick down to your held lip and back up to your eyes, "Hey, um don't you have a party you need to get ready for?" 

"Fuck." You laugh, nodding, "Yeah." You look at the house and back to Zach, "Come on." Zach stays still, "Where are we going?" 

You smile and lean in, "So I can show you that you are the one that I want." You press your lips to his and his hand lays on the back of your head, not wanting you to pull away. 

"Mm. Zach." Your giggles muffled by his lips on yours and you manage to lean back, "Hey. Come on." Zach huffs, "way to be a cock block, sweetheart."

He gets out, following you up to your door and his hands are roaming all over your body as you get your key from your key ring. 

His hands slip under you shirt, "Runnin' outta time." Zach mumbles against your head and you push your door open. 

He walks you in, hands on your hips and he uses his door to swing the door closed. You spin around and his body is on yours, a hand on your hip and a hand on the back of your neck, holding you to him as your lips meet his once again. 

By this time, you had totally forgot you were still wearing the tiara that Tara got you and Zach's eyes fixate on it as he remembers what he first thought about. 

"Knees." Zach says as he places his hands on your shoulders. You slowly drop down and you look up at him. He bites down on his bottom lip at he watches you undo his belt, "You know. As soon as that thing sat on the top of your head, I picture you exactly like this." 

You feel your cheeks grow warmer and you let out a breath, "I totally forgot I had that on." Zach smiles, "I didn't." 

You work to get his throbbing dick from his boxers move you've tugged his pants down. Your hand gently gripping the base of it, squeezing gently as you rise up to run your tongue over the head of his leaky head. 

He lets out a groan and bites down on his lip, groaning lowly, "Mm." He looks down at you, "That's it, baby." He lays a hand on the back of your head, fully taking in everything about his fantasy that's coming true. 

He moans lowly as you bob your head up and down, earning a gasp as you take him in fully, "Fuck, babe." Zach throws his head back, "That's my-" he looks down at you and pulls your head away from him. "-girl!" 

You smile up at him and bite down on your lip, saliva dribbling down your chin. He swipes it away with his thumb and he nods towards your bedroom, "Lead the way."

You stand up, taking his hand into yours before you lead him up the stairs and into your bedroom. 

You pull him in and close the door before Zach pulls you into him, lips meeting yours once more. 

You let out a whine, gripping his shirt, "Zach." You whimper, "Please." You push your hips into his, reaching down between you to stroke his cock a few times. 

He groans, hands gripping the hem of his shirt to rip it up over his head, and he places his hands on either side of your neck, "Shit." He breathes out, moving his hands down to your hips, "Get back there." He walks you backwards and it wasn't long until your knees buckled from hitting the bed. 

Your back meets the mattress and Zach's lips meet your neck, "I really.." he speaks in between kisses to your neck, "..want to watch.." he kisses up to just below your ear, "..the birthday girl ride me." 

You nod eagerly, "Please." You beg, "Please; Zach."

Zach chuckles, "And if I'm being honest, your whining and begging is completely boosting my ego-" he very quickly corrects himself, "I mean completely makes me want to cum inside that pretty little pussy." 

You roll your eyes, "your head is swelled either way, Zach." You laugh, "But I'll take the second option please." 

You bite your lip and his grip on your hip tightens before he rolls over to pull you on to his lap. He stares up at you for a few seconds before he nods while glancing towards your shirt, "C'mon now, you just told me you want me to cum inside you. Don't be shy now." 

You smirk, laughing slightly as you pull your shirt up over your head, discarding it to the floor, "Happy now?" 

You smirk at him and his hands move to your boobs with a nod, "oh hell yeah." 

You watch as he looks up at you and with a swift motion, his hand is pulling you down to him by the back of your neck so he can kiss you. 

Your lips move in sync for a few minutes then you suddenly remembered, it's my birthday!

But in panic mode, "Mm." You lean back, "What time is it?" You ask and Zach, obviously frustrated, lets out a short sigh, "Do I look like Father Time to you?" 

"Well if you didn't still have your pants on, I could be on top of you already." You roll your eyes, leaning over to check your phone. 

Zach scoffs, planting a gentle slap to your ass, "Sor-ry, I didn't know taking our time to enjoy this, wasn't on your agenda,too." You bite down on your lip to hide your laugh and you lean back over, looking down at him. 

"I have a little under two hours." You whisper and he nods. His hands move to grip your waist and he slowly rocks your hips over his dick, that's straining against his pants. 

"Zach." You whimper out, "stop teasing." 

He rolls you over onto your back and his hands move to take off your jeans. He slips them down your legs and tosses them. 

His bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes focus on your lace panties lying perfectly against your skin. He leans down, his lips lacing your skin with fiery, open mouth kisses as his fingers drift up your legs. 

His fingers slip into the band of your panties and your hips rise as he pulls them down. His eyes flick up to you and back down to your soaked cunt. 

He drops your panties beside him and locks eyes with you as he pushes both his pants and boxers down before moving to make his way in between your thighs. 

You smirk, tilting your head as he lifts your hips slightly, "You know, you're incredibly hot when you're jealous." 

You feel his dick brush against your clit and you gasp. Zach smirks and pushes the tip between your folds, "Me? Jealous?" He fakes a laughs and leans down, pressing a kiss to your lips, "Over you? Yes." 

He thrusts into you and you let out a loud moan, "Fuck." You whimper out, "That's why it's so hot." He smirks and presses his lips to yours, and you accept his invite to make out. 

His hips roll slowly into yours and you moan into his mouth. He swallows your moans with ears, kissing back towards your ear, "You're so beautiful." 

His voice is low and you slide a hand down his arm and grab his wrist. You drag his hand up your body and place it around your neck.

You look up at him with such a pleading look, Zach can't help but not resist. 

His hand tightens around your throat and you moan out, and your moans quickly grow quieter the harder he squeezes. 

He leans up on his free arm and watches down at how your pussy swallows him with such great ease, "Fuckin' hell baby." 

He looks up at you and his jaw literally falls slack to the scene below him, "Shit." He breathes out as his she's scan over your slightly reddened face, your eyes are rolled back with your lips slightly parted. 

You're just absolutely loving being fucked by him right now. 

His thrusts remained slow as he loosens his grip and you let out a quiet gasp. Zach stops thrusting and gently taps your cheek a few times, "Oh no. I killed her." 

You smile and he sighs, "Phew. Great, because I did not want to have to put necrophiliac on my resume tonight."

You let out a laugh and lean up to push him to him to his back, "I mean, you know you have consent either way." You laugh as you straddle him.

Zach sits up, his face close to yours as he fixes the tiara that's slightly crooked on your head, "Hold on, baby." 

Zach calling you baby and even sweetheart and especially princess, gave you butterflies. Even his jokey insults like slut, and bitch, and yapper number two, but especially slut because you would be his slut. 

Any time of day. 

"Better?" You ask watching him lay back, an arm tucking behind his head, "Better." He bites down on his lip as he watches you lift your one leg to reach down and hold his dick steady. 

You spit into the tip of your fingers and smear it on him which causes him to gasp slightly. You smirk as you slide down onto him, eyes locking with Zach's. 

His hands fly to your hips. You grip his forearms as you pant, gasping out at how deep he feels inside of you. 

"Move. Sweetheart." Zach squeezes your hips, urging you to move in some type of way. You let out a whine as you roll your hips slowly, crying out Zach's name and other curses lowly. 

"Use me to get yourself off, sweetheart." He winks, "I just wanna watch." 

You smirk and you lean back, placing your hands on his knees for support. You bite down on your lip and keep your eyes locked on his as you start to move your hips up and down. 

Zach positions one arm behind his head again, and places his hand under your thigh. His eyes move down to your pussy taking his dick, then he looks up at your tits bouncing each time your body meets his. 

His eyes roll closed and his hips buck upward, "Goddamn." He groans out, "S-swe-etheart.. you're gonna make me cum." 

You lean down, pressing kisses to his before you lean up, "Isn't that the point?" You ask, rolling your hips into his, moaning out quietly, "Zach." 

He sits up and flips you over so your hips are pinned to the mattress, "I'd say you got about, maybe an hour to shower and get all your stuff around before you have to leave to get ready." 

"Just fuck me." You whine, sitting up as you pull him towards you. His lips crash onto yours and you feel his hands push your thighs back, knees to chest type of deal. 

You moan loudly, arching you back as Zach slides his dick back in to you, "What's the birthday princess want, baby?" Zach pants out and you dig your nails into his back, "I-I need you to cum in me." 

Zach bites his lips, laughing slightly, "It's a risky move. I love it." He picks up the speed of his thrusts and sloppily presses a kiss to your lips, "I love you." 

You freeze, "W-h- wai-" you laugh slightly, "Zach." He kisses up to your lips, "Mm. Wh-Wai- what, baby?"

"What di-"

Zach cuts you off, "I'll tell you later." He presses his lips to yours and you let out a loud moan as he thrusts his dick into you fully. 

"Your arms tighten around his neck and you whimper in his ear, "I love you, too." 

You feel his body tense and his grip on your hips tightens, "Say it again." He mumbles, turning his head in to kiss your neck, "Please." 

You slide your arms down, laying your hands on his neck, moaning out as you squeeze his dick with your, desperate for release walls, "F-fuck.. Zach." You whimper out, "I love you." 

You let out a moan, arching your back as you feel yourself quickly become engulfed with an intense pleasure. 

Zach fucks you through your high, listening to every sound he can pull from you, "So fuckin' pretty." Zach grips your chin and his thrusts grow sloppy and slow. 

You bite your lip as you feel his dick twitch inside of you and you look up at him. He raises his brows and lets out a sigh, "You told me to." 

"I know." You laugh and reach over to grab your phone, "Fuck." You jump up, "If you're showering with me, let's go. But we're not fucking around." 

Zach stands up, following you to your bathroom, "Yeah, you say that now. How much time you have?" 

"Forty five minutes." You turn the shower on and Zach bites his lip, "Give me five of those minutes while we're in here."

You smirk and pull him into the shower with you, "Let's see it."

—

You were still shocked that Zach got you both off in five minutes before you rushed around and went to Alyssa's, but that was only after Zach trapped you in the car for another make out session while dropping him off. 

Your party was going very, very well. 

Everyone was having the time of their lives, and honestly so were you, you loved the attention but the only attention you wanted was from one person and his eyes have been on you all night. 

His stare begging to get you alone. 

You had to admit, Zach losing his final straw today was the best birthday gift ever, his jealously was super sexy.

"You look bored." You say walking up to him, "My party not good enough for you?" Zach laughs and leans in, "Nah, I just can't stop thinking about how pretty you sounded earlier." 

You feel your cheeks darken and he smirks, "Happy birthday, Princess." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

I hope you liked this! I'm going to get some Sam snippets out so in the mean time, tell me what you thought about this. Ilysm! 🖤

likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[heliads]

IMAGINE

mordern au!newt whos readers classmate and hes like a nerd etc and reader just fell for him because of how cute he is and like they sit next to eachother in some class and reader keeps catching newt whos staring at them and its because he wants to ask them out ? HEBFISNIDNFI i hope this makes sense and i hope you have an amazing day🥰

happy birthday anon!!!!!

masterlist

There is a boy in the corner of this room, and he is– he is looking at you. Yes, you’re sure of it now, even though he glanced away as soon as your eyes met. He wasn’t expecting you to notice, which is silly, because you’ve noticed almost everything about Newt since the moment he first showed up in one of your classes. 

The only thing you haven’t noticed about him is all the times you haven’t caught him staring, and how he smiles when he knows you won’t be able to question him for it. Similarly, when Newt hastily turns his head and pretends that he’s been studying the board at the front of the classroom this whole time, he misses how long your eyes linger on him instead. Almost as long as his, maybe. Shame that neither of you will do a thing about it.

You don’t think you’re staring for the same reasons, though. You only look at Newt because he’s already looking at you. Newt must have a different motive for getting distracted by you so often, but he’s not likely to breathe a word of it to you. Until that impossible day, though, when Newt finally manages to get over himself and finally confesses something, you’ll keep looking back at him, wondering what all of this is about, and never, ever knowing.

You can’t hold too much of a grudge against him for looking away, nor for rushing out of the classroom without a word more than hello or goodbye or the occasional sorry when he brushes against you in the hallway. That’s not personal, that’s just how Newt is with everybody.

Newt’s quiet, you know. Doesn’t talk to a whole lot of people if he can help it. Most of the time, he’s perfectly content to sit by himself or walk alone to class, not needing anyone around him. He brushes off eye contact like dust from a faded photograph, not straying to orbit around the popular circles like everyone else in this school. The only exceptions are the small and select group of friends he likes to keep around, and then– well, then there’s you, but that feels different, somehow.

You know of Newt’s friends, they’re all good people. The kind of good people that you’d expect someone like Newt to hang out with. There’s Alby, tall and strong and ever-present in student leadership organizations. He keeps trying to get Newt to run with him in various elections. Usually Newt’s too good of a sport to say no, but the blond boy would much rather fade into the background under more secretarial roles as opposed to vocal vice presidencies. You’d know, you’ve seen him.

Minho’s a ton of fun, too. No one can crush the student athlete grind like him. He’s captain of the varsity cross country team, and will happily swear to anyone around that he’s the fastest one by far. Newt used to run with him, but there was an injury and a lot of crushed dreams and no one likes to talk about it much. It’s surprising how quickly people can move on.

Thomas is new, just switched over to your school a few weeks ago. He’s got this freaky sort of determination that makes you want to stand and watch while he tears up everything you’ve ever known. You’re all sort of fascinated by him, and you have no doubt that if there’s anyone capable of acing the SAT and making it far enough out of here to see the walls of an Ivy League, it would be him.

The others are just as fun. Teresa’s new too, although she usually keeps to herself. Thomas knows her the best. Frypan, president of the school cooking club, can usually be seen proffering boxes of freshly baked delicacies to his friends. They’re all good kids, the lot of them. Even Chuck, who might have been someone’s younger brother or babysitting victim or just some kid they picked up. He’s years younger than any of them and goes to the local elementary school, but he’s still there half the time you see them hanging out together.

Of all of the friends, though, Newt is the enigma you’d most like to decipher. He’s quiet, for one thing, even despite the fact that he’s in such a joyful friend group. He’s smarter than anyone gives him credit for, maybe because he’s too modest to brag as much as anyone else.

And, for another thing, he’s cute. Terribly charming. Utterly impossible to ignore. He’s been in a handful of your classes for years now, and you’ve never been able to muster up the courage to have a conversation about more than classwork. Usually, he’s just on the other side of the room, working on the work from your very same lecture, and yet you can’t seem to say what you really want to him.

That might change this year, though. He’s in your history class, and the teacher has given you the best blessing any educational faculty member can provide and seated you right next to him. The desks in that room are arranged in pairs, separate from everyone else save one person, and you are with Newt. It’s absolutely lovely.

So, yes, you can stare at him in math, as you’re doing right now, but the second that bell rings, you can take your time getting to history next period, because he will be there waiting for you, and he will smile up at you, and everything, everything, will be alright.

Only– when you get to class, there’s someone in your seat. It’s not a case of someone who forgot where their assigned seat was halfway through the year. In fact, this misplaced student isn’t even in your class. This is Thomas, who should be across the hall, but isn’t.

Apparently he’s run in to urge Newt to do something. You try to hear more as you drift closer, but just when you’re within hearing range, Newt’s eyes flicker up to you and his entire body seems seized by some sort of terrible panic. He frantically cuts Thomas off, saying something about how he’ll totally do whatever they were talking about.

Thomas looks confused by the sudden change in mood, and glances over his shoulder to see you standing there, waiting for him. He stands up quickly, jokes about stealing your seat, and leaves in a rush. You let your backpack drop to the ground, and look back at the hurriedly departing Thomas. The brown-haired boy flashes Newt an eager thumbs up before leaving, which makes absolutely no sense.

You take your seat at last, peering over at Newt for some kind of explanation. The blond boy just stares intently at his homework, mumbling something about how he doesn’t know what that was about. It’s obvious that you’re not going to get any answers from him now, so you sigh and grab your books from your bag.

The second you look away, though, you can see Newt cautiously looking back at you out of the corner of your eye, a soft smile slipping over his face when he thinks you won’t notice. You trust Newt that he won’t do anything to embarrass you, so that business with Thomas truly must have been nothing at all.

Still, you’re curious, but Newt behaves pretty much the same throughout the class. You watch him out of the corner of your eye the whole time, waiting for him to slip up and say something, but no dice. He looks a little uneasy, but it doesn’t seem like anything major. 

When the teacher dismisses the class to work on a packet with your assigned seating partner, you expect Newt to do something, but no. He keeps clearing his throat like he’s going to say a few words, but he seems to lose his nerve every time and fades back into silence or, worse, a discussion of 17th century trading practices as you’re meant to be doing.

You almost think that you’re going to go the whole class without a single thing coming of Thomas’ intrusion when the bell rings, dismissing everyone to their next period. You stand up, starting to shove your books and folders into your backpack once more. Newt stands too, looking gripped by panic.

“Y/N,” he begins, then cuts himself off just as quickly.

“Yeah?” You ask, distracted by the zipper on your backpack, which has chosen this very moment to get stuck.

“Would you– would you like to see a movie with me sometime? There are a few good ones at the theater nearby, if you’d want to do something like that. If you don’t want to, that’s cool, obviously, but I was kind of hoping that–”

Newt’s tripping over himself by now, but you clear his nerves with a single smile. “Newt,” you say, “I would love to go out with you.”

“Really?” He asks, a little ahead of himself. “I mean, yeah, that sounds great. Does Friday work?”

“Friday’s perfect,” you tell him.

“Cool,” he says, “Cool, yeah. I’ll see you then.”

“Can’t wait,” you grin.

You don’t think you’d mind standing there a while longer, with Newt looking at you with that radiant smile, but unfortunately you are still in school, and you still have classes to get to. One of your friends calls your name from across the room, irritably wondering why you’re still lingering there. 

You allow yourself a beat longer, then leave at last. Newt is looking at you when you vanish from view, you think, but for once you understand what he’s not saying, what he means the most, and that– well, that is absolutely everything.

maze runner tag list: @rogueanschel, @ellobruv, @retvenkos, @neewtmas, @mayfieldss, @hiya-itsamber, @gods-fools-heroes, @hope92100, @23victoria, @w1shes43, @ilovexavierthrope, @fadedver

[daisynik7]

could you do the most gut punching, debilitatingly soul crushing, hair pulling, tear inducing eren ff



cw: PLEASE READ - extremely heavy content and trauma warning, please proceed with caution. If you are sensitive to topics that deal with traumatic events, please avoid this. I'm being overly cautious just in case! 

Author’s Note: Thank you for the request, anon. Doing my best to give you something that I consider gut punching/debilitating/tear inducing. I’m sorry for the hurt, this was a tough one to write!

It’s past midnight and you can’t sleep. You’ve been staring up at the ceiling for the past hour, eyes focused on the blank canvas above you, mind unable to shut down the way you want it to. It’s no secret: you’re thinking about Eren again. You haven’t stopped thinking about him for over a year now. And, given your unbreakable track record thus far, you never will.

You call his phone, knowing it’ll go straight to voicemail, clearing your throat as his familiar voice says, “Leave a message after the beep!” The tone rings, signaling for you to start. 

“Hey. It’s me again. I know you’re probably tired of hearing my voice, but if you think that’s going to stop me, you’re wrong. I’ll keep calling until the day you pick up.” You turn to your side, resting your phone between the pillow and your ear. 

“I can’t sleep. I had a shitty week at work. Levi’s been on my ass, complaining about how my desk is so unorganized. You know how he is. I guess it doesn’t help that I’ve been out of it. I don’t know. I wish you were here.” You swallow hard, trying to hold back from crying. It always leads to this, though. Tears streaming down your cheeks, soaking your pillow in sobs and snot. Eren always teased you for being such a cry baby. It’s one of the many things he loved about you. 

“Annie told me I should start dating again. Let go and move on. Told me it’s for the best. Of course, I got upset at her, but I know she’s just worried about me.” You sigh, eyes beginning to water. “Do you still think about me? Because I sure as hell still think about you. All the time.”

It’s inevitable now; the crying, the rush of emotions. “I’m still so fucking mad at you for leaving that night,” you say, sniffling. “So fucking mad for not staying with me. Why did you do that, Eren? Why did you leave me?” 

You sob into the phone, unable to form coherent words any longer. It takes a minute or two to collect yourself, wiping your face with the blanket, eyes puffy, nose runny. As best as you can, you continue, voice trembling. “I’m not actually angry. I promise you. I just miss you so fucking much. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thinking of you. I see you everywhere. In my dreams, around my house, whenever I hang out with our friends. You’re always here and always there. I can’t escape you.”

The giant teddy bear he won at that state fair five years ago sits on the bed beside you. You reach out for it, holding it snug in an embrace, the phone still squeezed to your ear. “I know you’ll never listen to this, but I want you to know that I still love you. I’ve always loved you, Eren. I always will.” With that, you hang up, ending the voicemail.

It’s been over a year now since the accident. When you got the call from his parents, you were staring up at the ceiling, exactly like tonight, unable to sleep. Waiting for his call to come through, ensuring you he got home safely. You told him to stay over, but he insisted, knowing he had to be with his family the next morning to celebrate his mom’s birthday. And of course, it’s not his fault for insisting. Eren was always trying to make everybody happy. It’s not his fault for driving that night. It’s not his fault for stepping on the gas pedal when the stoplight turned green. It’s not his fault for not noticing the speeding car with its headlights turned off, driving towards him, running the red. None of it was his fault, and that’s what makes it hurt the most. He didn’t deserve this. Nobody does.

And while he’s still living and breathing, the steady heartbeat pounding in his chest, it’s almost harder than if he wasn’t. For over a year now, you’ve held onto hope that one day, he’ll wake up from his coma. That the past twelve, thirteen, fifteen months have been an unbearable nightmare, and he’ll be back to his normal self. Laughing and smiling with his cheeks rounded, the same electric joy he brings everywhere he goes. It’s that hope that drives you crazy, keeps you sinking down this unending spiral. But it’s the only thing you have left to hang on to. 

It's become routine to visit him every weekend in the hospital. Sitting beside his peaceful form, stroking his hand. Throat stuck with anguish that renders you speechless. That’s why you leave the voicemails for him on his phone, the one that his mom promises to keep charged every day because she knows how important it is to you. You scoot the chair closer to him, the phone held in your grasp, playing on speaker the latest message you left for him just several hours ago. Wishing for a miracle that somehow, he’s hearing this and dreaming of you in his everlasting slumber.

Hey. It’s me again. I know you’re probably tired of hearing my voice, but if you think that’s going to stop me, you’re wrong. I’ll keep calling until the day you pick up.          

[itsmattchou]

zb1’s maknae line rejecting you but later regretting it 🪩

how to be in love with me !

pairing: zb1 maknae line x gn!reader warnings: swearing, this isn't really fluffy. ricky is TOXIC 🆘, jealousy, ricky is a player lol, love triangle shit, yujin is just like me (worse version), english isn't my first language!!! genre: my ridiculous attempt at angst? synopsis: zb1 rejecting you but later regretting it notes: i DO NOT KNOW what i just wrote here. gunwooks is the only one with happy ending bc it's teas ( @teaxeee ) 18th birthday today yayyyy!!!! EVERYBODY SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. to anon: thank you for your request!!! this was my first request and i really loved it, even though it was kinda hard to write!! i hope you don't mind that the endings aren't happy at all <33

SHEN QUANRUI ricky stared at you from across the hall, laughing and joking around with your new friendgroup. he scoffed in annoyance; he was jealous and his ego was bruised. he gritted his teeth as he watched another boy putting his arm around your shoulder and telling you something that was apparently funny, considering the way you started giggling as soon as his words hit your ear.

ricky only rejected you because he enjoyed the attention he received from others too much- girls and boys were sticking around him at all times, not even trying to hide their romantic interest in him. officially dating someone would've meant that he couldn't tolerate blunt flirting anymore, and he did not want that.

after turning your confession down you started to pull away from him, surrounding yourself with different people, not paying attention to him and not even sparing him a single glance whenever your paths crossed. it helped him realize that he'd rather have you than any of his admirers… but considering the attitude he showed you when rejecting you, you surely wouldn't give him a second chance. it pissed him off.

KIM GYUVIN it was pretty much a dilemma in his case. he didn't think he would ever find himself in some lame kdrama-fit situation like that, but there he was. ricky, y/n and gyuvin- best friends since day one and attached by the hip. but the second romantic feelings got involved everything got messed up- and the friendgroup that once was, wasn't anymore.

gyuvin only rejected you because he knew that ricky was in love with you. while gyuvin too harbored feelings for you, he couldn't bring himself to break his other best friends heart like that. "feelings like that destroy our friendship," is what he said to you, in hopes that you'd understand and maybe just suppress your feelings in order to protect your platonic relationship.

feelings like that did destroy the friendship. after gyuvin rejected you, you reached out to ricky for comfort- and after that it was simply not the same anymore. gyuvin really regretted it. he did not know what he should've done differently in order to save your friendship, but he wish he did whatever it was instead. he not only missed you as his crush, he even more missed you, and ricky too, as his best friends.

PARK GUNWOOK gunwook didn't know much about love. all his life he mostly focused on school and platonic relationships, not really caring about romance. he worked hard to make his always busy parents proud and not cause them trouble and stress; that's why he was constantly at the top of his class, the class president with the perfect record.

you changed that as you transferred schools to his. you showed him that grades weren't everything in life and made him want to discover what exactly romance is; even though it kind of freaked him out. the act of showing your true and vulnerable self to others, that is. that's why he first rejected you when you came forward and told him about your feelings for him, he asked you to please give him time and space to think and collect his thoughts.

you understood and gave him the space he needed. but once gunwook was given the space he thought he needed, he realized how much more he needed you. he only took 2 days to think before he went ahead and confessed to you this time. do you accept?

HAN YUJIN you used to be best friends, known for constantly goofing around with each other. feelings changed, everything changed. yujin had to move away. it wasn't planned for a long time, it was a rushed decision his parents made one tuesday evening, the moving already happening next week. yujin did not know how to tell you about it and he always backed out last second when he was about to; driving you crazy in the process, making you think he was trynna confess to you but ultimately being too shy, which wouldn't be off-brand for him.

so you took matters into your own hands and finally confessing to him, one day before he was supposed to move away. that poor boy was already overwhelmed enough with trying to come up with a way to tell you the truth, he did not need that extra load! thousands of thoughts were rushing through his mind, not a single one sticking for more than a few seconds. and before he could properly process it, the word "no" just slipped past his lips, lingering in between you, causing a deafening silence.

everything went so fast. before he knew it, yujin was on his way to his new home, leaving you and conversations he should have had but didn't, behind. it's not like he didn't feel same way. he liked you, a lot. but it was for the better. he was overwhelmed and panicked. that's what he tells himself at least, to calm his nerves down. he left without saying anything to you and he knows a heart to heart talk is long overdue; but he also knows that he fucked up, real bad.

[zerobaseonefics]

BLOOMING DAY

blooming day . . . day one

note . . . this is out earlier than planned to bcz it was my bunny anon's birthday 🤭 everybody say thank you bun

taglist open <3 . . . @cherriegyu @kpoprhia @vhshyk @hikyeom @mins-fins @juyomiao @dwcljh @invuwrld @beomibeom @sulkygyu @lycheae @huipinkhair

teaser | masterlist | next day

. . . ᥫ᭡ . . .

"why do you even like her?"

from afar, anyone one would think the college it boy passed out. hanbin, jiwoong, matthew, and hao were sitting on the grass of the park. stranded on the ground, head resting on hao's lap, hanbin didn't look as flaming as usual.

the question asked by jiwoong caught him off guard. that's right, why would he even like you?

hanbin was interested in you from the moment he saw you. we were getting toward the end of february, and despite the still chilly weather, the sun was finally beaming after a long winter. maybe it's the way you looked so peaceful arriving to campus on your bicycle the first time he saw you. maybe it was because he was happy to finally see sunshine after a long time. you were looking around, and seemed a bit lost, not knowing were to go.

this is how he fell for you. or maybe you were the one to fall, because you didn't realize your bicycle was going to him. when you turned your face to look in front of you and realized you were close to crashing into him, you swerved but lost the control of handles, making you bicycle fall. hanbin was pulled out of his trance.

"oh no, i'm so sorry, i should've stepped back when i saw you coming". hanbin bent to check up on you and make sure you were not harmed in any way when you sighed heavily. you were obviously annoyed and it was not an attitude he was used to get from people, making him stop in his tracks. he coughed to clear his voice.

"is everything okay? are you bruised? i'll take you to the nurse's off-"

"yes, i'm fine."

you got up, focused on your bicycle that you picked up from the ground before hopping back on it. hanbin looked at you as you were checking if your bicycle was okay, when you finally let your eyes on him. he stayed still, analyzing your face from closer. now, you looked like you were straight out of a movie. was it the sun again or were you just really pretty? once again, he couldn't stay lost in his thoughts about you for too long, because he noticed your hand gesturing him to go.

"can you get out of my way or?"

"ah, yes, excuse me."

and so he did, letting you go with a bitter feeling left in his chest. hanbin didn't think he liked you immediatly from this mere encounter. he just knew he wanted to know more about you. he always found himself wondering what year you were in, what was your major, and when he walked around campus, he was hoping he could see you.

until his mother birthday, when hanbin decided to buy flowers for her. this is how he found you again, working at the flower shop. he made sure to come there at least twice a week, and after a few times, it was starting to get obvious he was flirting with you. and you just had to reject him.

"you're here again. your mom must love flowers." you said when you saw him push the door with confidence.

"or i must love the part-time florist."

you didn't even smile to his words. no effect. you were getting used to this kind of lines from him, so now it didn't even surprise you. you would roll your eyes once or twice, but nothing more. it should've warn him, but he was just so confident that day he didn't even picked up on the hint.

the brunette walked his way to the cash counter. he leaned on it, resting his chin in the palm of his hand while looking at you with a smug smile.

"remember when you told me every type of flower has its own meaning", hanbin started.

"i mean, why would i forget..." you said, unsure of where the discussion was going.

"this means if i ask you a question, you can answer it with flowers?"

"hum... yes? if it's about my emotions."

"perfect. hypothetically, if i come and tell you i like you, what bouquet would you make as an answer?"

just thinking back to your rejection made him lose his mind. hanbin strongly banged his head against hao's lap, who cried out because of the pain.

"what's wrong with you?" zhang hao scoffed, surprised by the sudden outburst of his friend. hanbin got up, now sitting on the ground like his friends.

"i don't even like her that much! i just thought she was pretty and it was funny to see her sometimes..."

hanbin sighed heavily, his hands going to his face in exasperation. suddenly, he remembered something.

"wait, you're literally the source of the problem", he said turning to zhang hao.

"now, this is getting interesting'', jiwoong muttered to matthew with a smirk.

"how am i the problem?" hao asked, batting his eyelashes with fake innocence.

"you said that xiaoting told you y/n had a crush on me!"

"i said y/n had a crush on hanbin..." hao said, emphasazing on the name.

"but hanbin's name is hanbin..." matthew said to jiwoong, kinda lost.

a silence settled on the little friend group. hao was smirking, jiwoong was looking at hanbin, waiting for him to understand, and matthew... was starting to feel like he missed something. suddenly, hanbin gasped.

"don't tell me she likes another hanbin?"

[misc-obeyme]

If the bros worked in a nightclub, what roles would they have, along with their stage names? Oh, and today is my birthday! I just wanted to share it with you🥳💕

Happy birthday, anon!!

Um, so I might not be the best person to ask about nightclub related things... I haven't been to many of them. I am an introverted homebody lol.

I'm not sure what you mean by roles? Like what kinda jobs they'd have if they worked at a nightclub?

Because if that's what you mean, then I can tell you what I think they'd all do! And I'm gonna say that Asmo just came up with stage names for all of them because he felt like it, no matter what they end up doing.

Asmo is absolutely on stage. No question about it. Whether he's singing or pole dancing or doing drag or whatever, that guy's the center of attention! Stage name: I kinda think he'd go for the single name. It's just straight up ASMODEUS. Probably stylized all in caps like that, too.

Beel is the bouncer. Not working the door, but watching things on the inside. Big and quiet and can easily pick up rowdy demons and toss them outside without a second look. Stage name: I kinda think Asmo could talk him into doing pole dancing. Because you know, it's super athletic and requires a lot of strength. I kinda feel like it'd end up being something about his muscles. Mr. Buffington perhaps. LOL. I dunno how serious these stage names are. Beel would probably be like uhhhh I'm just Beel.

Mammon is the finance guy. Most of the time, he's just crunching numbers, but when the club is in action, he's out on the dance floor, just kinda bringing some ambiance with his enthusiastic personality. Yeah, he might be trying to get people to buy the most expensive drinks, but he's also having the time of his life so nobody minds. Stage name: I like the idea that Mammon regularly gets into his dame outfit. Either straight up calls himself Goldie or something like... Lady Grimm. LOL!

Satan is bar tending. I don't know why, but I just think he'd be good at it. And he's probably the most competent one to be handling all that booze anyway. Lucifer would probably do a good job, but he can't be trusted around the Demonus. Stage name: because Asmo makes him wear cat ears all the time, he's obviously going to be something like Kitty Meow Meow. Anyone who actually calls him this gets decked.

Levi is handling all the tech. Stage lights? Fog machine? Audio equipment? This guy is on it! Hides most of the time and plays video games when he's not needed. Hates being out in the main area so hides in vip lounges all the time. Stage name: Lord of Shadows! Asmo can come up with whatever cutesy thing he wants, but Levi won't go by anything else. It doesn't matter because he would never actually be on stage so Asmo lets it be.

Belphie helps out with bar tending. He's too sleepy to partake of too much alcohol, it'd just make him sleepier. But he's smart and he's good at keeping an eye out for creepers trying to roofie drinks. He looks like he's not paying attention, but he notices everything. Subtly lets Beel know when there's a creeper that needs to be escorted out. Stage name: because I like the idea that Belphie will also sometimes do the dame thing and then he just goes by Belle - simple, elegant, and Asmo approved.

Lucifer oversees everything. He's the manager, of course. Makes sure everybody else is doing what they're supposed to. Hires extra muscles for Beel when needed. Only has the best demons working the door. Books musical gigs when Asmo's not performing. Keeps himself away from the alcohol and the Anti Lucifer League lol. Stage name: only on rare occasions does Lucifer do anything that would require a stage name and then he goes by Morningstar. Asmo's so awestruck he wouldn't even dream of protesting.

OKAY well I did my best lol. I'm sorry if this isn't really what you were looking for! You can always send me another ask with more detail on what exactly you're thinking of. But yeah, my knowledge of this stuff is lacking in general.

Either way, I hope you had a fabulous birthday, anon!

[jeonqkooks]

Hey 🧡

Can I request number 15 (angst) - "I see the way you look at them" with Jimin?

hopelessly devoted | pjm

pairing: jimin x f!reader, side namjoon x f!reader

rating: PG

genre/warnings: angst, unrequited love au, jimin is a sad boi :(, idk i think that's it lol there's not much other than $4D

word count: 1.3k

note: i hope you're still around anon and i hope you like this <3 !! also massive thank you's to @daechwitatamic and @jeonwiixard for beta-ing me and not letting me think it was a flaming pile of garbage lol! i love uuuuuu 💕

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

“You’re a saint.”

Jimin turns to the left to meet the eyes of a man whose name he still hasn’t bothered learning. They’ve met a few times at birthday parties and other group dinners, but not once has Jimin officially spoken to him. He just knows him as one of Namjoon’s friends.

“What was that?” Jimin asks in a low voice, as to not disturb the scene that’s about to unfold in the adjacent room – the room that he, a dozen of his friends and strangers spent the whole day decorating with heart-shaped balloons and rose petals. The door is cracked open just a few inches so he could hear everything that’s going on and know when to burst in when the time is right. 

He sees you with your back turned to him. How fitting; him, always standing behind you, forced to watch you keep your eyes on another man.

“You’re a saint,” the man repeats simply, eyes full of pity, and Jimin realizes then that this stranger knows a secret of his that even you aren’t privy to. “I see the way you look at her.”

Jimin calmly blinks, even though he’s just been caught, bleeding heart and all. A single sentence, cutting him open a few feet away from where love is in full bloom.

He should be scrambling to deny any and all accusations, scoff and pretend that he has no idea what the stranger is insinuating.

Instead, he reminds himself to breathe. He doesn’t have anything to hide, at least not anymore. He’s only a guy, hopelessly in love with a girl who is hopelessly in love with someone else. The excitement radiating off everyone except for him is palpable. Your girlfriends can barely stay quiet and keep from ruining the moment for you and Namjoon. They bounce on their feet in anticipation, unaware that right next to them, Jimin is still wishing on a comet he saw a lifetime ago, that you would turn around. That you would leave everything just to go to him, to finally see him.

“That obvious, huh?” Jimin asks, teasingly self-deprecating even in the face of heartbreak. 

What he gets in return is a shrug. “I don’t understand how you can be so selfless,” the man says. “I could never watch the girl I have feelings for be happy with someone else.”

Jimin hums sagely. It isn’t even the truth. He doesn’t want to be selfless, he wants to be selfish. He wants to storm into the room and shake you by the shoulders until you understand that his affection for you extends far beyond the confines of friendship. 

He would do anything you ask him to. By extension, he supposes what Namjoon wants falls under this category too. If there’s anything that anyone should know about Jimin, it’s that he would go to the ends of the earth to make sure you’re happy, even if it means putting on a smile and telling Namjoon yes when the other man came to him for help on proposing to you.

Love shouldn’t hurt like this, but it does.

Jimin watches the scene unfold through the crack of the door. He hears the deafening beats of his heart in his ears while everybody waits for the crescendo.

Namjoon gets on one knee, and your friends can all see the exact moment your world stops.

Time halts, and Jimin reminisces.

Four hundred and seventy five days.

That’s how long he’s been thinking about the improbability of you and him, and about how things could’ve gone so differently had he been braver just a little sooner.

Four hundred and seventy five nights Jimin has spent, lying in his bed alone and staring at the ceiling. Restless and aching to the bone. Because four hundred and seventy five days ago, he finally managed to gather the courage to tell you how he felt about you after weeks of nerve wracking contemplation and years of unspoken, untested love. He’d rehearsed countless times what he was going to tell you. There had even been a speech planned, for when you rejected him and told him that the pair of you would be better off as friends.

It took him everything just to stand in front of your door that night, with his love so tangible he could hold it in his hands, clumsily prepared to ask you to keep it.

When you opened the door and flashed him that ever glowing sunshine smile of yours, his heart almost gave out. Five minutes later, it did, but for a reason he hadn’t seen coming. With that beautiful grin still plastered on your face, you uttered the words that completely knocked him off his axis.

“Namjoon asked me out today.”

Kim Namjoon, the man you had been crushing on ever since you laid eyes on him two months prior. He was part of the reason why Jimin decided to grow a pair and confess to you, but as it seems, the universe had other intentions.

He was one step behind.

Always just a step behind.

With every milestone that you reached with Namjoon, the part of him that always held out hope that it’d be you and him in the end gradually chipped away. Your anniversaries, the first time you met each other’s parents, and eventually, when you agreed to move in with Namjoon… Every time he listened to you talk about your boyfriend with a twinkle in your eyes, Jimin could only nod along and smile, muttering words of encouragement to you because he was a good friend.

He was a good friend and he was happy that you were happy.

Despite how much he wished it had been him in Namjoon’s place instead.

Despite how much he thought it should’ve been him.

Jimin understands it better than most people: Love is pain.

The irony isn’t lost on him, how the same word means such different things for the both of you.

You say yes, because of course you do. You’re the princess and Namjoon is Prince Charming, destined to come in and sweep you off your feet. This is your fairytale ending and Jimin is standing right here, merely a bystander to your happiness.

As Namjoon slips the diamond ring onto your delicate finger, Jimin has to grasp the fact that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be the main character in the story of your life. Your tears spill over and he watches Namjoon wipe them away. He commits to memory the complete and utter joy you wear when your now fiance gathers you in his arms and gently spins you around, the content smiles on both your faces blurry from a distance.

Or perhaps it’s Jimin’s own vision clouding from the sting he feels piercing through his chest.

His heartbeat is so loud that he can’t even hear Namjoon usher everybody in. He doesn’t really register his surroundings until your friends all rush to your side with delighted squeals of congratulations.

Jimin has never seen you look this happy before. Surrounded by the love of your life and all your closest friends, you radiate a glow that he has only ever witnessed in his dreams. Nobody seems to notice that he’s still standing there, rooted to the ground, while people celebrate what must be one of the most memorable moments of your life.

It’s not until your gaze dances across the room and lands on him in the dark that Jimin remembers how to fake a smile again. He immediately perks up for your sake, though he’s sure that you aren’t even conscious of the brave face he’s putting on.

He walks over to you then, wearing a bright grin and dragging a sunken heart that no one else can see. The hug you share is one he wishes could last for an eternity, before you leave him for someone else forever. The stranger’s eyes burn the side of his face.

Tonight is just another sleepless night.

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 27.02.23]

[guiltygearconfessions]

Hey mod, Happy holidays! I hope you're spending it with loved ones! no confessions today but i'd be more than happy if you want to share one of your confessions. :)

Aww, you're very sweet, anon. Holidays can be rather hectic but in the end, it's nice to be able to spend time with family and catch up on things. And it's true what they say, when you're an adult you really do get excited when people gift you socks!

And a confession from me...? Well, maybe since it's it's such a common thing in the family, I wish we could see all the Kiske-Bulsaras trying to juggle both the holiday season and all the birthdays. One can be hard enough! But obviously Ky wants to give his wife something nice and make her feel special, and it would just be rude to exclude Elphelt so we have to make sure to do something for her that' separate from Dizzy's birthday, and even though he's not related Sol's drinking buddy seems like a real nice guy who just happens to be down on his luck a lot, so maybe we could do a little something for him, maybe have him over for dinner and get him a little gift, they can fit that in with everything else, right...?

Best wishes, everybody. Take care!

[takami-takami]

It's birthday hours. So clearly I

Wait

NOOOOOoooooooooo.....

- magpie anon ✦

EVERYBODY GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAGPIE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO DO SO STAT DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!

Happy birthday Magpie!!!!!! 🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊

[smaller-comfort]

could you talk about your oltyx/yenekh stories (wip game)

Oh boy, anon, can I ever! Gonna throw this under a cut.

Lysikor's Bad Day happens because every single necron in the Ithakas dynasty eventually succumbs to the flayer curse. Every. Single. One. No amount of scheming or glyph-cracking canopteks can hold off the hunger forever. Lysikor is on the clock, and he knows it- but he's nearly as good at resisting it as Oltyx was.

His bad day starts when he unexpectedly runs into a band of flayed ones on a ship he's trying to salvage- a band led by Yenekh. For Yenekh, this is like Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. He is having the best time ever. And he's going to make sure Lysikor doesn't get to run away again.

Oltyx, meanwhile, is just happy to see Lysikor again. Lysikor genuinely expects Drazak's court to dismember him with extreme prejudice, and the welcome he receives instead is unsettling, to say the least.

I haven't actually figured out if Yenekh and Oltyx are already together when this one happens, or if that's something they figure out in and around Yenekh tormenting Lysikor. I'm leaning more towards the former, ultimately, but they're together in more of a 'whoops, slipped on some entrails and now we're making out' kind of way, and not so much a 'we've talked about our feelings' kind of way.

The alternate title to this one was "Death by Snu Snu" so. That maybe gives some idea of where I want to go with it. Everybody gives in to their basest, most monstrous urges eventually. Oltyx and Yenekh figure out where they stand with each other; Lysikor comes to terms with what it means to belong to Drazak, in a way he never truly belonged to Ithakas. I think, apart from just wanting to write filthy porn, that idea of dynastic hierarchy and what that means for necrons- even ones like Lysikor- is something I'm trying to explore in this one. (Mostly, though, it's about the porn.)

The Usual Sort of Idiocy is about Oltyx catching a clue regarding his feelings for Yenekh. It's very much also about me gnawing on some worldbuilding stuff around Drazak, the Flayed Ones, and the nature of deliverance. Aaand it's about me writing snecron sex with robodicks. (I'm very, very sorry.)

So there's going to be a Drazak-style wedding, where Yenekh does the equivalent of catching the bouquet, and Oltyx staves off a panic attack by walking halfway to the other end of the planet.

This one is probably the wip that's closest to done of everything I have on deck right now, actually. The title comes from this part, near the end:

--

He fell to his knees, because he couldn't bear to see Yenekh looking up at him like that, with his claws beating out the alternating phrases for please and forgive me against the pale stone. “Yenekh.” His voice was harsh with static, but it was enough to shock Yenekh into stillness.

'You've done nothing wrong,' he whispered. 'I'm just…an idiot.'

'The normal sort, or is this a new idiocy you've decided to inflict on me?' A wan light flickered across Yenekh's fangs in a thin smile.

He sighed. 'The usual'. Oltyx touched Yenekh's face hesitantly, tracing the wicked points of his fangs and the gleaming hollows of his eyes. 'Your king makes a better court jester, sometimes.'

[queerslurheritageposts]

it's my birthday

HOLY SHIT HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you have a fagulous day

everybody say happy birthday to anon rn

[aleksanderscult]

Hello!! I love your analysis sm 🖤🖤

Also happy birthday!!

I was wondering if you could analysis the scene in the first book when Alina and the darkling are in the queen's sitting room? Also, in the second book the scene where the darkling impersonates Mal through the tether? I am curious to know your opinions on these scenes!! Thank you!!

Hello!! And thank you so much, anon, for the birthday wishes!💛💛😍

And I'm so glad that you like my analyses. Really you can interpret the Darkling's scenes and his scenes with Alina in one million ways. He's such an interesting character. And the fact that you enjoy this too makes me so happy🥰🥹

Anyway, back to business. Another anon commissioned me to analyse the tether scene where the Darkling impersonates Mal and kisses Alina, so here I'm gonna analyse their winter fete make out. (Everybody in this fandom have such good taste and it's 🤌👌)

(random but, in the beginning, I thought you wanted me to analyze the scene where Alina and the Darkling talk after the former had her first audience with the Queen. And at the last minute I realized you mean their make out in that room. I'm stupid💀. If you mean the other, former scene tell me 😊)

I already feel this is gonna take two parts as well🥲 (I hope the people that follow this page don't mind me overanalyzing things)

(Part 2 here 🖤)

I'm gonna start from here because this is the moment where the Darkling gives up his hundred of years well-thought-out plan and gives in to desire. After what happened to the lake and realized that his feelings for Alina have taken an unexpected romantic turn, he left. Vanished. Firstly, because he's the Darkling and he has duties to fulfill and secondly because he tried to ignore them, push them out by staying away from her. But, apparently, it was impossible for him and in that moment we see him giving in to his feelings.

From the way he abruptly takes her hand, pushes her fast through the crowd and makes them invisible so no one can see them or interrupt them we can see how much he wanted to do this and for how long. He's like: "Fuck it. I'm going to do it now 'cause I've held myself back a looong time".

I want to comment two things here.

1) I think he brought her to the Queen's sitting room because it was the first room available. The closest one and since he was in a hurry to get it on, it was the first room he thought of. And because he knew that no one else would be there or get there since everybody were too busy crying, laughing and partying *insert screaming remembering how they interrupted them afterwards*

2) He really didn't miss not even one second 😭The moment the door closed he let out his bottled desire. Seriously, for how many months he was holding himself back??😭

Well, my dear Alina, it was nothing like any kiss before because the man you have before you has had centuries of practice. Really his life has been full of this as the author has said.😌

And it's very interesting to notice that even before Alina wore Morozova's collar, she and the Darkling had already a deep connection. "Like calls to like" had already applied to them long before the stag was killed.

See what I mean?

Alina could feel his emotions even though no one else could. So there was already a type of bond, a connection that united them. Their powers and emotions were already entwined before even Alina got the amplifiers.😏

In case you want to know my opinion in this, I believe he's honest here. Morozova's herd was found after so many years of search and the Darkling is in a dark room making out with Alina. His priority, people😏😏

On one hand, he enjoys what he's doing right now because he can finally express his desire after so many months of avoiding her. But, on the other hand, he doesn't like it AT ALL. He even hates saying that line. Because he admits something that he wishes wasn't true. He should desire to go to the war room but instead he's here pinning Alina to the wall.

(Also the GROWLING! He wants to eat her, guys😭. But also he's angry with himself)

Alina, girl, you got it right 👍

Btw, what is it with him and his throat fetish??😭

(Not that we, the fandom, mind)

It's kind of interesting how honest he tries to be. In the beginning of their meeting he wasn't that much but here, I think, he wants to be truthful to her. He tries to open up a little. But still not completely. This is a moment of weakness for him. And he's torn between making her his and going after the stag. Between opening himself up to her and closing off. (He's struggling for real🥲)

Alina can you please shut up with the questions and let him do his job we're dying here😭😭

No hate to Alina, really. But for God's sake just continue smooching without talking.😩

The Darkling taking his time exploring that black kefta. A gift from him to her, a sign that he already feels possessive of her. And here in one of the greatest celebrations of the year, he wanted to show everyone who she belongs to.

No lies detected here, my dear people.😊

But there's something he mentions here that is very interesting.

"I should be planning our trip north".

That says a lot. He planned to take Alina with him to the north and then he would give her Morozova's collar as a gift. With joy and willingness from Alina's part. That was his plan.

But then everything fucked up.

Alina easily believed Baghra's words and run away, so that proved to the Darkling that she's not to be trusted. Add to this that Alina reunited with Mal and started a romance with him and we have the Darkling going feral and forcing Alina to wear the collar and control her powers without her permission.

Back in the tent scene we can see how this analysis is confirmed since the Darkling:

A) doesn't celebrate the fact that he found Morozova's stag after centuries of searching and took its antlers. Instead he sat sulking in a chair and drinking kvas silently.

B) he said to Alina "that was never my intention" when she accused him of making her his slave.

Conclusion: he wanted the both of them to go north together, kill the stag, Alina wearing the antlers happily and then, I think, he would reveal piece by piece his true plans to her.

You know what? I'm about to say it.

I'm about to say it.

Aleksander Morozova has a throat fetish and is a butt guy.

There. I said it.🙂

And it's canon (at least for me🤷).

Also, this moment alone is ten times sexier and more sensual than the Malina sex scene. Change my mind.

The way he wants to dominate her.🫠

One line. One thousand meanings. One iconic moment.

Translation No 1: "The problem with wanting you, is that it makes me weak" a.k.a. she makes him weak and Alina is his weakness.

Translation No 2 is kind of intriguing (and random) 'cause Aleksander always wanted a safe haven for the Grisha. Prestige and respect. So that made him kinda weak too. Vulnerable to the wars he fought and risks he took in order to provide that haven to them. And in the end it killed him (twice).

After this he lets out all his emotions through the next kiss and makes it more intense. He just let go (rip my feels).

Guess what? I need a second part again. 🥲

It's gonna be the last one I promise ❤️

[helshades]

Could you please explain why people are so opposed to the pension reform? I'm trying to understand, but living in a country where you can retire at 67 but keep working until 70 if you wish, and everyone is fine with that, I feel I must have missed something.

(Happy to be sent resources if you don't want to make a writeup!)

Same anon as before, forgot to mention I read french so no trouble if you send me french articles or posts. (That is, if you answer the ask, if so thanks in advance!)

It's really not on you, but your Ask did depress me a tad. It aligned with many comments I've spotted across the media coverage of the current French crisis in foreign countries, and most public reactions to it. The worst ones are definitely racist, along the lines of mocking them French that never want to work, but I know the most benign to be genuine: how come the French get to retire so early in life still, and why are they protesting an apparently necessary, surely inevitable, evidently inexorable raise of the legal age for a full pension, when everybody else must retire later in life, which they deem to be entirely natural and normal?

I was about to ask you how did you think the French got to retire as early as 55–60 years of age not that long ago (62 today) if not because of their infamous propensity to go on strike and protest a lot in the first place—in truth I was debating with myself on the tone I should adopt to say it—when it struck me suddenly: the crucial part of your comment was not the age for legal retirement in your country... Rather, it was whether or not the people in your country really happen to be ‘fine with that’.

In late January, the man who modified the Swedish pension system twenty years ago, raising the retirement age to 65, was interviewed by French news outlet. Karl Gustaf-Scherman, who used to administer the Swedish social securty, had a recommendation for President Macron: ‘Don't you imitate us and apply our model.’ In reality, most Swedish people can't physically afford to wait till 65 to retire, and have to leave their careers without a full pension: according to a 2019 study ordered by the national retirement fund, 92% of female and 72% of male retirees saw their pensions diminish (and, consequently, their purchasing power) after Sweden opted for this new pension system based on capitalisation and an increase of the retirement age. ‘Mr. President, the only reform you should pass would be a reform à la française’, Gustaf-Scherman concluded.

Again: are you completely certain that in your country, everyone is fine with working till 67, even 70 years of age? How many factory workers do you know, in your entourage, people who spend all day on an assembly line? How many sewage workers do you know? How many nurses and orderlies still lifting patients at 65, how many masons and tilers dreaming of working past their 70th birthday? Do you think it fair to ask a person to retire five years after everyone else because they've known several periods of unemployment in their career, because of some economic recession or because they've had to give birth to the next generation of humans? Do you find it fine to die before you've reached the legal age of retirement with a full pension, never getting to spend quality time with your grandchildren or your friends or helping out at local associations?

Do you find it normal never to get a rest from work before you die?

It's not only that everyone ought to be allowed some respite after serving their country well by participating in producing the national wealth for forty odd years; it is also that all those neoliberal reforms aim to destroy the remnants of old socialised systems across Europe to replace them with a fully capitalised economy. In other words, the point is for the tenants of a globalised market economy to take control of the gross domestic products of each country, open them to speculative funds and get to play with all that wealth—with the systematic privatisation of national markets allowing for unlimited concurrence and speculation.

France's pension system is still partly based on non-wage labour costs that have allowed its nationalised portion to remain afloat and stable since the creation of the Social Security in 1946. Back then, la Sécurité sociale was actually intended to cover all risks of life, but even then the class war was raging on. The entire history of the Social Security centres on the boss class' attempt to snatch the fund's control from the hands of the workers themselves. The move has definitely accelerated within the last four decades (the Eighties have seen the rise of Neoliberalism, as per the Chicago School's teachings, for further illustration, look up Augusto Pinochet's Chile), somewhat exponentially since 2016's Labour Law, implemented when Emmanuel Macron was a youthful minister of Economy who really began tearing the country apart proper, notably to finance his upcoming presidential campaign. The merciless destruction of our once-protective Labour code truly was the point of entry of his Thatchering enterprise...

I reckon no president of the Republic has been as universally detested as most of the French people have come to loathe Emmanuel Macron. The basis of his electorate is a contingent of very wealthy people, most of whom elderly, who share economic interests in the destruction of national sovereignty in favour of privatisation, since they've got, precisely, shares in the big companies that are to profit from the change; and people who simply don't care about the future generations of pensioners.

Trouble is, if Macron got re-elected a year ago, it was only because votes were extremely divided between many parties and because of a successful campaign to hold far-right candidate Marine Le Pen as a compliant scarecrow , presented in all media as the only one opposition to Macron—which meant that all people had to do to oppose Macron would be to vote for her, as it was sure to scandalise the rich and the Woke... Then, all Macron would have to do, which he did, was to present himself as the only one true credible defence in front of the Fascist Menace. The recipe, which was actually brought to perfection in the early 1980s by to-be-president François Mitterrand (using Marine Le Pen's more sinister father, and founder of the National Front, Jean-Marie Le Pen), is well and truly tried. Still, one of these days, she's going to get to presidency, and Macron will have been her best supporter.