#and for everybody else the evil has been defeated

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 || dark!jonathan crane x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || since you're the only one of his coworkers at arkham who doesn't seem to be intimidated by his intelligence, jonathan decides it's time he finds out what does scare you... and how he can embody it. unfortunately for you, turning into your greatest nightmare doesn't prove very difficult for him.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 || 5.5k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || EXTREME AND EXPLICIT NONCON (18+ only and please proceed with caution), drugging and kidnapping, paralysis, traumatized reader, forced orgasms/overstimulation, degradation, humiliation, choking, slapping, unprotected sex/breeding, misogyny, jonathan is very much in character which means he is incredibly evil and has incel vibes (I know y'all are not about to get mad at me for writing a villain being a villain and not uwu babifying him...)

When you interrupted and corrected your colleague, Dr. Crane, about the correct combination of pharmaceuticals for a certain schizophrenic patient in the asylum who happened to have diabetes, you thought nothing of it.  After all, the whole point of staff meetings was to discuss and debate these things, and you weren’t about to let him damn-near poison a patient by giving him something that would interfere with his insulin.  You weren’t trying to be snarky about it, but you did sort of make a joke about how dangerous his suggestion was— and you didn’t notice the way Jonathan’s nostrils flared and jaw tightened when some others chuckled at what you said.

When you received an email from your therapist’s office informing you that there was evidence of a break-in in her building, but that the police were unable to officially determine if confidential client files were compromised, you thought nothing of it.  It was a big complex, these things happen, and you knew from being a clinician yourself how tricky the laws could be surrounding that stuff: she had to email you, legally, if there was any chance your file could’ve been accessed, and that didn’t mean you had any reason to fear your private therapy session notes had been read.  Besides, who would want to read about you and your boring life, diving into your mundane hopes and fears and daily stresses?

And when Crane came into the office with tea for you, you thought nothing of it.  Sure, you seemed surprised when he popped into your office with cups in hand— you asked him why he had two cups of tea, assuming they were both for himself, and he laughed.  Just that was out of character, he wasn’t much of a chucklehead or anything.  “Green tea, right?  With lime and honey?” he asked, setting one cup down for you.  You were still taken aback, but you had to admit defeat.

“Yeah,” you said, taking the cup as he sat down across the desk from you.  “Yeah, that’s my order— I didn’t know you drank tea.”

“Sometimes,” he informed you, hoping his poker face was holding up as he watched you take a sip.  He couldn’t help but stare at your lips wrapping around the little hole in the lid, the print of berry-red your lipstick left behind.  His heart was racing already, more than he expected.

When you finished the first sip, you smiled at him and let out a small, nervous laugh.  “Thank you,” you finally said.  So, yes, even though you clearly noticed this was slightly odd behavior, you thought nothing of drinking the tea.  That was one thing he hated about you: the thoughtlessness.  You didn’t seem to second-guess yourself much, if anything you were a little on the cocky side.  He found it so irritating— that confidence.  Sure, you were smart and you deserved to take yourself somewhat seriously, but the way you walked around this place— the way you ignored him so easily, or spoke over him if you wanted to, or ignored his suggestions when he gave them… you were a bitch, basically.  You clearly thought you were better than him— better than everybody else— for no reason at all.  Just because you were pretty and had a good job you thought you could get away with anything, surely; pretty girls always think that way.

He made casual conversation with you as you sipped the tea, asking questions he already knew the answer to, hoping to catch you in a lie.  For the most part, your stories matched up with what he’d learned from that file.  But, you left out the gory details— you left out the best parts, really.

You mentioned where you went to medical school and that you transferred mid-way through due to ‘stress’, but you didn’t elaborate on what really happened to you.  You mentioned having your own therapist— something you said passionately that every client-facing mental health professional should have— but left out what you were actually being treated for, not to mention the PTSD diagnosis.

He had to hide his smirk behind the paper cup every time you seemed to lose your train of thought— it wasn’t like you, so focused and determined all the time.  No, it was the drugs finally kicking in.  You went for bigger gulps of tea each time your eyes looked heavier, hoping the caffeine would work— but the trace caffeine in your green tea was nothing compared to what he’d added.

You tried to warn him that you were suddenly not feel up to par— that he needed to leave, and you might try to wake yourself up— but he just sat and waited.  He watched you try to get up, and lose your balance.  He watched you stumble, trip, and ultimately fall onto the floor limply.  He watched your eyes flutter shut and the final ounce of energy to fight it fade; he quietly took a final sip of his tea.

~

You woke up on the floor.  You could barely feel it beneath you, but you knew it was the floor— it was cold, and hard.  And you were looking up at the dark ceiling, at the fan spinning at the lowest speed; so you were definitely on the floor.

Jonathan was standing above you, not too far off, flipping through papers.  You couldn’t move— no matter how hard you fought to, you couldn’t.  You barely managed to turn your head, but it felt more like it rolled to the side on its own.  You tried to yell for Dr. Crane’s attention, for help, for him to explain what happened to you, but even your mouth couldn’t move.  The best you could do was breathe harder— actually, you were pretty sure your body was trying to hyperventilate, but you were too incapacitated to even have a proper panic attack.

He heard you, though; he looked away from the papers and grinned down at you.  “Comfortable down there?”

You started to put together a few things.  One, that the last thing you remembered was being in your office, and now you were in your apartment.  Two, that those papers were photoscans of chart notes— obviously you couldn’t make out the words from here, but the format gave away that it must have to do with a patient.

And three, that Crane was neither surprised that you were paralyzed on the floor, nor interested in helping you.

He half-rolled the papers in one hand and playfully hit the other hand’s palm with them.  “These have been quite interesting… revealing, to say the least,” he informed you, like it was a compliment— something you should be proud to hear.  “You’re quite the enigma, Doc!”

He sat down beside you on the floor, leaning on his hand first to find his balance with a little sigh; he seemed amused, actually, and your heart began to race.

As he started to read aloud from the page in front of him, you felt nauseous.  He was reading patient data, describing a client who was receiving individual counseling— or that’s what the CPT code indicated, at least.  As he listed the client’s demographic data— age, race, gender, height, weight— it became eerily obvious what he was doing.  You refused to believe it until he went on: “Client was recommended to Dr. Min Zhang for individual therapy concerning PTSD following sexual trauma.”

Your therapist.  This was a file he’d copied, which belonged to your therapist.  And it was obvious whose file it was.

As you tried with all your might to scream, Jonathan flipped a few pages ahead.

“Session fourteen, eleventh of June,” he continued.  “Client expressed frustration with an increased recurrence of nightmares and flashbacks to her assault.  Up until now, she has struggled to explain what triggers her anxiety without having to actually elaborate on the circumstances of the event.”

He stopped, but you weren’t exactly relieved.  In fact, you were horrified.  He had a little grin on his face when he looked at you, but you could finally see the rage in his eyes.  Suddenly, you realized how long it had been there.  You had sort of picked up on it before, the resentment he had towards you— and it didn’t take a Freudian expert to figure out that he was threatened by you, especially as a man.  He didn’t respond well to feeling upstaged and he clearly had an issue with women.  Maybe not that issue— he was good-looking and well-off, he didn’t need to have any issues with women if he didn’t want to— but an issue nonetheless.  

“Now,” he added, smiling wider than you’d ever seen him smile before, “client states she is ready to describe the incident in full detail.”

He set the papers aside for a second, leaning over you and almost looking… giddy, really.

“I won’t read you the rest, I’ve already pretty much memorized what goes on from there.  It was fascinating— seeing how what happened that night connected to the fears you still have today… the nightmares.  You said that you still feel sick at the smell of alcohol, you still don’t like to wear pinstripe skirts, and even just the wrong few words can make you feel like you’re right back there where it happened— on the floor of your apartment.”

All you could do was look up at him, and you felt your eyes get hot as they welled with tears.

“Not this apartment, obviously— the one by your old school,” Jonathan sighed, “but this will have to do.  And the smell of alcohol, well, I wouldn’t want to let anything cloud my experience— but I dabbed a little gin on my wrists, what do you think?”

He held his hand up by your face, caressing your cheek for a second, and you imagined yourself pulling away— turning your head and shrugging his touch off of you with a grimace.  But nothing happened, of course, and you were entirely helpless as the acidic stench of liquor became apparent.  You couldn’t give your typical outward reaction of a frown, but inside, you felt just the same as always: your stomach twisted, your heart pounded, your head swirled.

“Smell is such a… primal trigger of memory, isn’t it?” he mused, watching your face reverently.  “I can see it in your eyes, it’s affecting you even more than I expected.  You act so fearless at work— but I knew you must have been overcompensating.  God, you’re terrified— I would say you’re paralyzed, but, well… it would be too literal, I think.”

You knew that Crane studied fear and phobias, even trauma occasionally, as a personal interest within the field.  It was normal to have a favorite subtopic, and to conduct related research on it— but obviously, this was far from normal, this was absolutely deranged.  You knew that part of this was vengeance, in his own mind at least, but you didn't feel like you'd done anything actually wrong to him.  And the rest of it, well, it seemed like some twisted experiment, but if you were able to speak you would've tried to remind him that this 'research' wasn't going to get him published or advance his career— but of course, that wasn't what he wanted.  He just wanted to humiliate you.

“I was worried I didn’t have enough to work with, you know,” he added.  “I knew I couldn’t get you to where it happened, if I could even figure it out since you never filed that police report… and the skirt, well, I considered it.  It sounded pretty exciting to dress you up like the night it happened— what I would give to know everything you were wearing that night, but I don’t have a ton to work with.  Obviously, you don’t own any pinstripe skirts anymore, so I would’ve had to buy one… and I wasn’t quite ready for the looks I’d get shopping at Macy’s, so…”

Carefully, he reached up to take off his glasses, folding them and setting them down on your coffee table.

“You know how detail-oriented I am— I mean, I went to all this, didn’t I?” He continued, reaching down and brushing his fingers for a moment over your leg.  It was so instinctive to pull away that it took you a moment to realize you hadn’t… because of course, you couldn’t.  “But it’s impossible to recreate it all perfectly.  Clearly, I don’t need to— if only you could see it, Doc, you look… you look so weak.  Pathetic.”

Since the only thing you could do was look around, you tried to look away— to not give him the satisfaction of seeing the terror in your eyes.  He grabbed your face and turned it until you looked up at him.  

“Did you think you’d be able to face your greatest fear?  Perhaps with a bit more dignity?” he mused.  He looked different without the glasses on; and, ironically, you felt like he could see you even better now.

It was obvious that he enjoyed lording complete power over you, but a quick glance down to his suit trousers made it clear just how much he enjoyed it.  You quickly darted your gaze away, but it was too late; he started to climb on top of you, staring at your face uncomfortably close, and worked on opening his belt and fly.

“Fear rules us all, doesn’t it?  Everything you did, it was guided by your fear that it would— well, why paraphrase?  Let me find exactly how you put it…”

He picked up the papers again quickly, licking his thumb and flipping around until he found the right entry.

“Yes,” he said, “here it is: client states she lives in almost constant fear that it will happen again.”

So that's what this was: his disturbed take on exposure therapy.

As he tossed the copied charts away for the last time and reached up under your skirt, he leaned down and whispered in your ear— and you couldn’t even flinch from the harsh sounds of his words.  “It took you over fifty sessions to admit it,” he recalled, “to tell her the whole truth.  Not just what he did to you… what you did.”

With a small growl, he yanked your panties down your legs and rubbed your thighs with far too much aggression, such that you expected bruises from his hands— just like the ones you’d had before.

“You said he made you do it,” he continued, “you couldn’t help it, right?  But you said nothing’s ever felt like that— that you’d never had such a powerful orgasm.”

You would’ve vomited, except that that, too, requires your muscles to not be paralyzed.  Rolling your skirt up and spreading your legs, he positioned himself right between them, rubbing his cock's leaking head around your hole.

“Your greatest fear isn’t really that it’ll happen again, is it?” Jonathan taunted.  “You’re afraid someone’s going to find out how much you liked it.”

With that, he punched his hips forward and speared you on his cock.

It had been years since you'd had anything inside you, even your own fingers.  You couldn't even remember if being penetrated hurt like this during your assault, and you would've sworn before that you remembered every detail perfectly.  But this was so real, not a memory or a nightmare.  You couldn't cry out from the sting.

"God, it's tight," he groaned, "I bet you weren't this tight when it happened— you'd been whoring around, hadn't you?  Letting all kinds of guys use you… just ran into the wrong one and got your drink spiked.  But now…"

He hissed through his teeth, tightening his grip on your hip.  

"Now it's all mine, isn't it?"

Inside, you were screaming and kicking and pleading for mercy.  You imagined you would be angry and violent, beat him to death with your heel or something, but you wondered if you'd be forced to bargain with him— apologize for whatever you did to upset him, promise you wouldn't tell a soul about this as long as he left you alone.  But either way, it didn't matter… on the outside, you were useless, laying there and letting him use you.

"What made you come so much before?  Did he have a big cock, is that it?” he asked with a snarl.  “Did he know exactly how to touch you?  Or was it just that you’d been craving it, needed it really rough to get off properly?  Is that why you came while he raped you?”

It was a biological response, you told yourself like you had over and over, I couldn't help it, it wasn't my fault, it was a biological response— it wasn't my fault, I didn't like it, it was a biological response.

“I think I know what it is,” he mused, looking down at you with heavy eyes and almost purring as he watched your limp form bounce on the floor.  “I think you wanted to be put in your place.  You act so liberated, so empowered— but you’re a creature of instinct, like anything else.  You need someone to remind you how weak you are, I know, fuck, I know you do…”

He fucked you just a bit faster, grunting and tightening his fist on the floor by your head.

“You haven’t been able to have an orgasm at all, since then,” he stated— almost making it like a question, with the way he said it, but he obviously already knew it was true.  He sounded shockingly sympathetic— not even pitying, not condescending, for once.  “I’m sure for a while you didn’t even try, afraid it would remind you— but that’s the thing, you can’t finish unless you’re reminded.”

You almost surprised yourself when you heard a whine come from your throat; he smiled proudly.

"It's wearing off, I think," he noticed.  "I only gave you a small dose.  Can you move at all?  Can you beg me to stop?"

You opened your mouth to try to say everything you'd wanted to since you awoke, but all that came out was a moan.  You hated yourself for that, and he laughed happily.

"You don't want me to stop," he decided.  "Feels too good?"

I fucking hate you, you wanted to scream, you sick son of a bitch, I fucking hate you—

"You didn't say it outright, but he must have said something to you— during, maybe after," Jonathan theorized.  "You didn't say what it was, but you told your therapist about having a vivid flashback after being accosted by a delusional homeless man on the street.  He called you a bitch, seemingly for no reason… is that what your rapist said to you?  Did he say you were a stuck-up little bitch?"

As burning hot tears striped your temples, you curled your fingers over and over— maybe you could move your arms if you really tried…

"He was fucking right about you.  You think you're so much fucking better than everyone else," he growled.  "You think you're so fucking smart, and special.  But you're no fucking different, you're nothing—"

You whined and reached up, weakly trying to push him off of you, but all you could do was limply grasp at his shoulders.

"Nothing but a stupid—" he grunted the word as he slammed himself into you— "fucking—" he did it again— "bitch."

"No!" you finally heard yourself sob, clutching a weak fistful of his white shirt, but he grabbed your hands and shoved them back down to the floor.

“God,” he choked, holding your wrists tightly until you whined, “it’s so much better when you can fight— fuck, it’s so much better.  Keep struggling if you want, Doc, you’re still too weak for me…”

Your legs moved a little, but they felt heavy.  Sensation was only just beginning to return to them, like pins and needles, and it stung; you winced as you managed to squirm a bit beneath him.

"That's it," he praised, "this is probably just how you did it before.  Too drunk and too desperate for cock to really do much, but trying so hard to look like you hate it— I understand, you don't want anyone to know that you need this.  They'd never look at you the same again: the smart, accomplished psychiatrist who likes getting treated like fuckmeat.  What would they think of you if they knew?"

"No…" you said again, too weak and traumatized to say much else— but it wasn't what he said that made you say no, it was the pulse of pleasure inside your cunt.  He must have felt it, and if he didn't, he surely felt the next; yes, he did, because he smiled down at you excitedly.

"It's happening, isn't it?  You're gonna come."

He held on tight to one of your legs, gripping your thigh and staring uncomfortably into your eyes as he kept going— faster and rougher with each thrust.  You choked on your throat, trying to stop any part of this, but the pleasure was undeniable; it still hurt, yes, and you still felt so angry and sick and numb, but something familiar and desperate was tightening in your gut.  It’d been so long since anyone touched you… you’d forgotten how natural it could feel, even when it was so horrible.

"I read it in your file, but I still couldn't really believe it,” he laughed quietly, “I couldn't believe you came over and over while being raped— but here you are, wow, look at you… you’re so beautiful when you’re scared.”

A long, heavy sigh fell from your lips; your eyes got heavier, and your whole body seemed to relax— in a way totally different from the medication-induced paralysis.

He cooed at you, seeming oddly proud, and you were oddly compliant as he picked you up and pulled you into his lap.

Tears streamed across your cheeks as he held you close, one hand around your back while the other moved your hips against his.  “There you go— come for me, I wanna feel it— another one, baby, for me…”

It wasn’t much longer before another one came— from what you remembered, it was a lot like the first time, this terribly wonderful way your body protected itself from the trauma by immersing you in pleasure.  Of course, Jonathan helped you along by rubbing your clit with his thumb, excited to watch you surrender to ecstasy even when you begged him to just stop and leave you alone.

Of course, your protests were less and less believable as more of your strength and mobility returned— you could’ve tried harder to get away, but instead you found your hips rocking with his, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.  No, you didn’t want this— you never wanted this— but you found the way he spoke to you impossibly comforting even while it was still deeply upsetting.  “Tell me about the nightmares, darling,” he whispered— some impossible mix of pleading and ordering.

“A-almost every night,” you whimpered.  “I… I got used to it, but I used to… I used to wake up and think I was still…”

"They felt so real, hm?" he presumed, and you nodded.  “It’s real now… you don’t have to be afraid of the dreams anymore, it’s all real— I’m right here.”

You couldn’t tell if he was trying to scare or comfort you; he pet your hair, clinging to you tightly, kissing your face and neck along the lines of the tears soaking your skin.  

You felt his grin against your cheek when another wavering moan echoed in your chest, and he laid you back on the floor to hover over you again.  “Was that your third one, already?” he noticed.  “This is so much easier than I thought… you needed this so badly, you poor girl.”

A quick wave of panic settled over you when his hand wrapped around your neck.  “W-wait,” you pleaded instantly, as if you really feared he would just strangle you to death right then and there.  Your hands, still weak and tingly, reached up to his arm, and you felt his cock throb inside you— of course that was what he wanted, to see you react in fear again.  So many other emotions were at play right now, even some you didn’t know existed (like whatever the word would be for longing for the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, or feeling like the only person you can trust is the person hurting you the most), but fear was still going to rule it all as long as he had any say.

"How many times did you come before?" he demanded to know, nostrils flaring as he fucked you harder.  "Tell me how many times you came when he raped you."

"I— I don't—" you stammered.

"Say it," he ordered.

"I— I don't know!" you yelped, whimpers falling to silence as he tightened his grip on your neck. 

"You don't fucking know?" he snarled at you, watching you fight for air.  You clawed at his shirt, his wrist, tried to pry his fingers away, but he just sneered as he stared at your numbing face.  "You don't know how many times you creamed on your rapist's cock?  Bullshit."

"I—" you gasped when he let go of your throat, "I lost count…"

He went from livid to ecstatic in a second, laughing proudly and dipping down to kiss your neck passionately.  "Good girl," he mumbled against your skin, fucking you even faster.  "That's what you need to do for me now— come for me until you lose count."

“I— I can’t,” you choked, grabbing at his shoulders as he seemed to overwhelm you just by pressing his weight down on top of you.  “I’m sorry— you… you proved your point, I— I just need a break—”

Even though the drug he’d injected you with was wearing off, you realized you were just as limp and helpless as before… after all, some of the most powerful chemicals come inside the body.  You didn’t even fight it when he put his hand over your mouth, spitting out a quiet but hateful shut up and continuing with his quick and forceful thrusts into you.  

He kept you conscious and lucid by occasionally hitting or choking you, talking to you, once or twice even ordering you to kiss him.  Like you mean it, he’d said, slapping you as punishment for doing it wrong.  Truth be told, you hadn’t kissed anyone in so long that you’d really been trying your best the first time.  Sometimes he told you to beg him for more— or to beg him to get off of you— and yet he would usually punish you for speaking at all.  He was completely unpredictable, and you figured that was part of the plan: take away any shred of control you might try to get by making it impossible to follow his rules.  Keep you confused and crying, keep you fearful, keep you obedient.

But, he did seem to enjoy when you could only just choke out a broken please.  He laughed at you, pinching your sore clit in response until you sobbed and tried to jerk your hips away.  “‘Please’ what, honey?  You mean, ‘please keep fucking me, Doctor Crane, you’ll make me come again?’” he taunted.  “Something like that?”

“Please… please,” you swallowed around your whines, “please just… finish, and go…”

“Oh,” he purred, “you want me to come?”

You’d specifically not phrased it that way, but, yes, that was what you were asking for.  You weren’t sure what else he wanted from you now, it felt like he’d drained you of everything.

“You can just say that, baby— you wanna make me come?” he grinned, moving in closer for a kiss, but you turned your head away.  He grabbed your jaw again and stared at you with an angry glare.  “This isn’t about me.  This is what you wanted.  This is what you fucking wanted!”

As he screamed in your face, you sobbed and tried to look away again, but he hit you hard on the face and covered your mouth before the cry of agony could come out.  

“This is what you wanted, right?” he insisted again, forcing your head to nod with his clammy, iron-tight grip.  “Uh huh— and you wanna make me come, don’t you?  You understand now that’s all you’re good for.”

As sick as it was, you felt yourself fall into another orgasm when he said that; your eyes rolled back a bit, and for a moment you felt even hotter between your legs.

“I think, if you beg me to come, maybe I will,” he offered— bargaining with you, probably another way to trick you into clamoring for some control only to yank it away.  Unfortunately, you were in no position to turn down a deal.

“Please,” you blurted out the second he released your mouth from under his hand; when you blinked the tears from your eyes, you saw him clearly again and realized how completely different he looked from the arrogant-but-generally-unassuming man you knew from work.  His hair was fallen beside his face, and he was close enough that the ends were tickling your forehead.  His eyes were bloodshot, crazed, and dark.  His lips, always full and plush but usually in a tight frown or neutral look of condescending boredom, were curled around the teeth he bared at you.  He looked animalistic, for a man typically so measured.  Only he could do something so animalistic in a way that required such intellect, foresight, and contemplation— using his superhuman skills to treat you in a subhuman manner.  You realized that you were really seeing him for the first time— the person you’d known before was the mask.  This was something horribly freeing for him; and you were having a much easier time analyzing and thinking about him to distract from how sickly freeing this experience was becoming for you.  “Please, Jonathan—”

“Doctor Crane,” he corrected.  Apparently this wasn’t enough to put you on a first name basis…

“Doctor Crane,” you repeated, “please… come.  I want… I want you to come.”

“Hmm,” he considered, and you worried he’d decide he was unimpressed with your effort and hurt you again— but, he did maybe the only thing worse.  “Okay,” he agreed, “if it’s so important to you.”

Just when you shut your eyes tight and hoped you could just get through this— just hold on for a few more minutes at most and then this would be over and done with— he whispered in your ear that he needed you to keep your eyes open if he was going to finish.  

Though, when you obeyed, he purred at you and let his own eyes flutter shut for just a moment.  For once, he actually seemed affected by all this physically and not just psychosexually.  “I think I’ll come inside, like he did before,” Crane decided with a groan when he opened his eyes, biting his lip for a moment as he stared down at you.  “I didn’t see any birth control in your listed medications on chart… I guess we’ll find out if you have a fear of getting pregnant.”

"Jonathan— don't," you whimpered.  "Please, don't do that—"

"Shh," he soothed, petting the top of your head and laying his weight over you.  "Shh, it's alright.  I think you need to be filled with come… I think that might be the one thing that’ll get you to settle down, now just hold still.”

“I— please… please…” you began to beg again, but your words faded away as another wave of sensation washed over you— they started to blend together, like before, and you realized you were doing what he’d asked: you were losing count.

“Good girl,” he praised under his breath, “like that— fuck, I’m close.  Fuck!”

He held onto you tight— one hand on your thigh and the other on your neck as his thrusts sped to a desperately, impossibly fast pace.  You moaned— or cried, or yelled, or something— as he pushed just a little too deep and your toes curled in your heels.

“Uh huh,” he encouraged, “just one more while I come inside you— I think you can manage that, just one more good squeeze on my cock— oh, fuck, that’s it, yes, just like that…”

You stopped being able to understand what he was saying, but you heard the wavering groan that came a few moments later when his movements suddenly stopped.  He gasped and kept himself as far inside you as possible; you shuddered, blinking fresh tears out of your eyes, and felt paralyzed in an entirely new way as you laid under him, staring up at your ceiling, seeing how far the sun had set since it began— actually, it had started to rain, making it even more impossible to tell how much time had really passed.  Eventually, though, he took his head out from the crook of your neck and propped himself up enough to look down at you.  

Reaching to your coffee table, he fumbled his hand around until he found his glasses, and shakily put them back on.  “Well,” he grinned, still panting but seeming to be mostly back to himself (whoever that was).  “I never thought I’d meet someone who loves fear as much as I do.”

[comicaurora]

I'm sorry that the terfs made their way onto your blog but it does feel good to see you support trans people. Thank you for that

Always.

I think, charitably, that the discourse going down on that post is an extrapolation and over-focus on one element of the point I was making: that for me, determining with certainty that I was cis was a rather fraught process. I was presented with many alternatives, but underlying their imposition on me was the oddly regressive idea that the things I liked, the principles I valued, the parts of myself I was proud of were not permitted of women. My whole life I got smacked with the background radiation that I couldn't like being strong because women aren't allowed to be stronger than men. I couldn't like being loud and boistrous because women aren't allowed to take up space. I couldn't be a math geek because women aren't smart. It was all deeply regressive misogyny from day one, but I started getting hit with it slathered in a fresh coat of paint - all those assumptions still held to be true, but now there was the out that I could do all those things if I just wasn't a woman.

Concluding that the underlying bioessentialist premise was wrong was very important. Absolutely none of those statements were true, and were only ever maintained by cultural saturation, goalpost-readjustment when they were actively disproven, and the occasional bout of lying with statistics to pretend they weren't just Shit All The Way Down. The core premise that certain things were only permitted of or possible for men was bullshit, and I didn't need to surrender the gender I liked best in order to play in the spaces I wanted to. I could simply exist the way I was already existing. I didn't need anything else.

The misinterpretation is the assumption that this being true of me means this is everybody's relationship with gender. I turned out to be cis, so for me, feeling that holding onto my assigned gender wasn't allowed was distressing - just another invocation of the same bioessentialist bullshit I'd been dealing with since the preschool playground. This is because misgendering is fundamentally denying that a person has the right to express themself the way they want. When aimed at me, it says I'm not performing traditional femininity well enough to deserve my pronouns. The same disrespect is the root of misgendering when aimed at trans people. "Perform your gender to my satisfaction or I will confiscate it."

The problem is, bioessentialism is 100% ingrained into the terf playbook, which is why, for instance, all their shitty talking points about trans athletes eventually boil down to "no woman can ever defeat a man in any contest because we are simply naturally weak and stupid and there is nothing we can do about it" and quite frankly nothing disgusts me more than the defeatist acceptance of the very lie that feminism is dedicated to overcoming. Instead of accepting that the paradigm of bioessentialism is a false dichotomy right from the jump, they embrace and weaponize it against the people whose existence proves the dichotomy is a lie. If gender essentialism is fundamentally false, then it is nobody's fucking business what anybody does with their gender. If the lines don't exist, nobody needs to enforce them. And yet there the terfs go, hunting down people whose lives are none of their business and trying to argue that they represent some great and terrible evil, some downfall of society made flesh, something that makes it totally correct and normal for them to spend so much time thinking about strangers' genitalia. They want this to be a noble crusade so badly they won't even examine what flag they're flying.

I love and support the trans people in my life and will always, always stand on the side of your right to exist, but alongside that, terf rhetoric especially disgusts and infuriates me because it is, at its heart, utter cowardice. The world told them they were weak and stupid and inferior and they fucking believed it. And now they think Fighting The Good Fight For Women means turning around and using the same paradigmatic weapon that hurt them to hurt the people whose existence outside the binary proves the weapon is a lie. They're the same shithead schoolyard bullies who made me believe my entire existence was foundationally wrong for years of my life and I will never, ever side with them or the shitty, cowardly rhetoric that contributed to the loneliest years of my life.

Figure out who you are and do it on purpose. Find the real source of the misery in your life and try fighting that instead of the other crabs in the bucket. Trans rights.

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Pink Moon in Scorpio ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Hey, was your Full Pink Moon in Scorpio great on the 24th/25th of April? It took me a couple of days to realise there was an active shedding and releasing of A FUCKTON of black magick and karmic debris from the collective of people tuned into this PAC. That shedding and releasing was by Divine Mandate, so that’s good to know hahah

After the Full Moon, have you been feeling lighter now? Brighter in the mind? Clearer about your purpose, maybe? More motivated to take the next step? Kinda ironic because Scorpio is the darkest sign of all. But hey, seeds need to break in the dark for them to grow into plants, trees, fruits and flowers, right?

This Full Pink Moon in Scorpio is really associated with rebirth, plant magick and wishing for a victorious blooming of our desires. Scorpio is also a sign associated with the underworld, death and ancestors. Did you know people born with significant Scorpio influences in their birth chart were often born shortly after some death had occurred within the family/bloodline?

Since the Full Pink Moon has passed, have you been feeling the call of your ancestors? You’ve got a huge family of great and wise ancestors you’ve never even met in this incarnation watching over your spiritual development. Each of them loves you and honour all the spiritual work you’ve done in this incarnation. The ripples of your lightwork go beyond what you can comprehend at this moment.

Listen carefully with your pretty heart~ Your ancestors and Spirit Guides are currently very active in guiding you towards your most exciting chapter yet! Stomp forward confidently, babes~!

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Let’s Go Far Away! Far From All the Dra-mama-mama~

s h e d d i n g – Queen of Pentacles Rx

You are not taking anybody else’s karma as yours anymore. You’re done. Fucking done with spiritually taking care of everybody who isn’t even aware of their bullshit karmic load. And on top of that, you’ve been known that these fuckers ain’t ever gonna be grateful anyway. So, why should you bother? You learnt the hard way, didn’t you? Now you’ve truly become a spiritual boss bitch. You ain’t vibing with Love and Light anymore—not like that, at least. You understand now that the whole ‘love and light’ consciousness has been weaponised to neutralise the power of those who can defeat EVIL consciousness.

Now, you understand people are fully responsible for their own healing; for how they react to what’s happening around them and for their own choices. Even their points of view are theirs. You’re not participating in anybody else’s drama anymore. No amount of empathy will ever make you stupid again. That was your decision quite a long time ago and now that resolve has become SOLIDIFIED. Welcome back, spiritual gangster. You’re YOU again~ Now, we watch you quantum jump into your greatest abundance Reality yet!

t r a n s f o r m i n g – 9 of Pentacles Rx

I feel like you’ve been in isolation of sort for quite a while, right? Or at least, there’s a clear indication that you’ve not been in communication with too many people. Your ancestors gave you that push to be alone and to clear your aenergetic field from a lifetime’s worth of bullshit you’d absorbed from other people. During this time, you were shielded from further psychological attacks from your environment. But at the same time, you were also being given clear guidance about your next steps.

Your visions and daydreams are not random, so this Full Pink Moon is giving you more reasons to believe all of your gut feelings about your place in the world—about what you’re put on Earth to pursue and manifest. When you’re excited, make sure you share your good news with ONLY those you feel are vibrationally safe to share with. People you know won’t have any business being envious of your progress. Otherwise, keep moving on in silence, dear ghost~ You’re about to become reborn into real riches!

g l o w u p, BITCH – 6 of Wands Rx

The whole aenergy of this Pile is abundance and material riches. I’m being told, you’re building a massive Empire that’s based on real spirituality. An empire that will serve a great number of people and how that contributes to not only your material security but also to the prosperity of all involved with your projects/spiritual work in the future. With that said, your success is needed by the world! You’d better believe there’s no force on Earth strong enough to mess this up.

Your ancestors, in fact, have been setting you up for this success for literally aeons. Even from the aethers they’re still very much actively making this happen. It’s a family project, babe~ You’ve got important codes stored in your DNA—you bloodline is special. One way or another this will continue to get revealed to you through various means your ancestors can think of ;P Your physical beauty, physical prosperity, physical safety and everything is quantum jumping into a much higher octave of Reality.

You’ve set up the foundation well. You’ve sacrificed a lot with so little guidance. Congrats again, welcome Home to 5D Consciosuness~!

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Hello? Ordering From Future Express~

s h e d d i n g – Page of Pentacles

You’ve been in the process of learning (or preparing) for a big change in your Life. This Full Pink Moon, if anything, is just indicating that you’re ready to mingle in the higher level of whatever you’re graduating from. Rather than becoming a student, you’re becoming an actual employee, worker, or expert at this thing you’ve been studying/preparing for. You have a lot of knowledge that’s ready to be shared by those who can benefit from your work. So, congrats~!

Of all the Piles, I sense your journey thus far has been pretty much lighthearted. It isn’t to say some traumatic things haven’t happened, but no matter your age, you’re such a wise optimist. You’re the type that can always say, ‘Oh well, I did learn and gain valuable lessons from it.’ You have an awareness of your surrounding and the events that visit your everyday Life, so you’re not often bothered to the degree some of the other Piles are XD

t r a n s f o r m i n g – Knight of Cups Rx

I sense that many of you reading this have been in the active process of manifesting a new kind of Reality. You’ve daydreamed and fantasised a lot—too much, sometimes LOL But I’m getting that your heart is literally constantly pulled in that direction because you’re literally that close to manifesting this Reality. Of course, when we say ‘close’, some of you may wonder how that’s even possible because you don’t feel like you’ve done a lot.

But I’m being told that your manifestation is heavily ‘water based’, meaning it is highly based on the emotions produced during your daydreaming~ As long as you maintain the feeling, the optimism, the feel-good vibes from those daydreams, you’re GUARANTEED to get every single thing you’ve envisioned for yourself. I betcha you have significant Water sign placements or planets in Water Houses in your natal chart :D

g l o w u p, BITCH – 5 of Cups

I know that recently you feel like you’ve lost something important. Although you’re positive and optimistic, it’s only natural that people can still dwell in the negative emotions caused by the shock of any kind of loss. You can take your time. But also know that this Full Pink Moon is promising you a way to rebuild or rediscover in another form what you’ve lost. What’s been lost or broken will be renewed and you will be a lot happier.

By this, the general message is that you have so much good fortune and success in the future. It’s almost like, your daydreams have been ordered from the future express and delivered to your doorstep as feel-good thought-forms. For now, they may be only thought-forms, but you’re being directed to the right place, so don’t lose sight of those visions, OK? For the most part, I think most of you already know this—you just needed some kind of a validation ^o^v

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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Pile 3 – Calm in the World, Lucky Girl~

s h e d d i n g – 7 of Swords

Ooohhh my lucky guuurl~ You’re the lucky Pile, but actually, you’ve worked really hard to increase your luck quotient in this world! Of all the Piles, you’ve transmuted a lot of karmic bullshit in your bloodline—things like toxic mindsets which were passed down by your elders. I think you’ve worked the hardest to transform yourself whilst carrying generational bullshit which you vowed would stop with you, because you wouldn’t want these mindsets or ways of living to be passed down to the next generations.

And in your case, I get that you’re not just thinking about your own bloodline; you’re also thinking about stopping these toxic ways of living and being for all people belonging to your generation and the next. You’re thinking global—you’re thinking cosmic. This Pile is definitely for those of you who identify as being a witch or a mystic or something similar in nature. You are now shedding ugliness. All the ugliness in the ways you were brought up.

t r a n s f o r m i n g – 9 of Cups

No matter when you come across this reading, within just a couple months your abundance level is going to visibly get better. This sense of abundance is going to be real—not just a mindset thing—it’s going to be physical. You’ve been working so hard for so long on the mental and spiritual level, and in many cases, you might’ve felt like your spiritual work hasn’t produced anything tangible at all. And this could’ve often dimmed your light and made you cry, because it felt like your struggles were never going to end.

You were going in circles, but babe, you were always spiralling up out of that hell that was created for you. I think you just didn’t realise that. The path was never straight; it was a spiral in which you were spiralling and meeting old wounds and healing them, but the whole time, you were spiralling UP! Okay? The exit is close. Dang, many of you tuning into this are already out! The real physical abundance is following along tightly. Look forward to this year’s Lion’s Gate, Wise Ones~! You’ll be surprised! <3

g l o w u p, BITCH – 10 of Wands

In the deck I’m using, 10 of Wands depicts an array of soldiers who’ve just finished warring. They’re back home now, exhausted, traumatised, needing a lot of care and ease after a long battle, and are probably still in a war mindset after being in it for quite some time, right? But the important thing is that they’re home; that the war is OVER. It is OVER. It’s peacetime now. You’ve just got to celebrate all you’ve done for your country (yourself) and relish in a good bowl of soup to soothe your aching heart.

Recuperation and relaxation are crucial for you right now. You need all the TLC you could give to yourself, so in that sense, if there’s somebody who could be of some assistance to you, don’t hesitate to ask for help so your Life can be a little easier. For the time being, you need to be taken care of. Sooner than later, you will be jumping into a different kind of an exciting bandwagon straight to your Destiny~ Then, you can help others~!

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[spiritseeeker]

This singular frame was all it took to undo my very extreme hatred of Adam, Vivienne Medrano how dare you make me feel sympathy for this man-

Like, Adam before this scene? A blatant misogynist and a hypocrite who unabashedly revels in sinners' suffering. A guy who has no regard for anyone else, and who pisses pretty much every viewer off with patronizing jabs like "sorry sweetie" and "try to chillax, babe." Ugh, disgusting.

As the first man, it seems like he got an easy pass into Heaven. Maybe the angels were just saving face, given that their core pair of humans both took the fruit of knowledge of good and evil willingly, ordaining Adam on the technicality that "Eve did it first." But I think we can all agree that it was not on the merit of Adam's virtue.

And then Charlie draws blood during their fight in Episode 8, and, for the first time, Adam genuinely realizes he can be hurt. Like, for the first time in the duration of the show, in his entire fucking existence, someone shows him that he is not, in fact, an all-powerful symbol of power and superiority. He's just a guy with privilege who is just as vulnerable, just as flawed, just as human as the rest of them.

But once the mask is shattered, revealing the rather unexceptional man underneath, does Adam back down? Of course not—he doubles down. There's nothing worse than a narcissist who is virtually incapable of seeing the error of their ways, even when they're clearly backed into a corner. Bruised and bloody, he bellows that he's THE man; everybody should worship him.

For me, that pretty much hit the nail in the coffin. There was no redeeming a character like Adam (ironic, since he's one of the few characters in the show not in need of redemption).

So isn't it fitting, then, that his death didn't happen in some grand display requiring all of Lucifer or Charlie's might? Isn't it fitting that Adam falls to Niffty—not Lucifer, not an overlord, but a common sinner, who sees him as nothing more than a foot soldier that needs to be eliminated, a pest as easily squashed as a roach? For someone as self-aggrandizing as Adam, this has to be one of the most humiliating ways to die. The perfect end for an insufferable antagonist.

But nooo, Vivziepop didn't end it there.

Because INSTEAD, we hear Lute's heart-wrenching screams as she realizes that Adam has just been defeated; we see the look on her tear-streaked face when it registers just how badly he's been injured. The fear in her eyes at the prospect of living in a world without the angel she idolizes, the man she serves.

She's not concerned that she's just lost her arm, or that Vaggie is standing right there. In that moment, the only person in Hell is Adam, and all she wants is for him to stay with her.

Adam could have easily dismissed her feelings entirely. He could have spent his last breath hurling one last insult at Lucifer, getting the satisfaction of having the last word before his death. He could have thrown himself a pity party and cursed his fate.

Instead, this greedy, selfish, murderous fiend has the audacity to see Lute in his field of vision and flash her one last, tender smile.

We don't know for sure what Adam was thinking in this shot, but personally, I think it was something along the lines of I lost. Proud of you, Lute. I'll miss you. Goodbye.

Whatever his final thoughts are, we can surmise from his expression alone that he's accepted his fate, and that he's grateful his last seconds alive are locking eyes with someone who's important to him. Someone he cares about.

And THAT—that was enough to crack through that thick shell of hatred I'd developed for Adam and shatter it like the mask he wore for seven and a half episodes of the show. THAT 8-second moment was enough to make me reconsider my stance on Adam as an irredeemable villain.

(CURSE YOU, VIVIENNE!!!)

Does this scene cancel out all the heinous things Adam does throughout Season 1? All the lives he destroys, all the pain he causes to thousands upon thousands of souls? Absolutely not. But it does change my perception of Adam from "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness" to "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness that is a product of the flawed system he perpetuates."

And, I gotta wonder, what would Adam have been like if Heaven had been different?

[candy8448]

I was thinking about the stakes in tears of the kingdom:

(A small analysis essay)

(Ill be using words that will hopefully not out any spoilers)

In breath of the wild you had to defeat ganon, the stakes were that if you didn't defeat ganon in time zelda would be too weak to hold him any longer and the kingdom of hyrule will be doomed.

However in totk, there is nothing like that. There is no urgent stakes for defeating ganondorf. Everything is almost at a standstill, everything has been waiting since the begining of this Hyrule and there is no time limit for fighting ganondorf. In fact, ganondorf is kinda just waiting for link at the end.

And then i remembered, this game isn't about saving Hyrule, Hyrule is fine, everyone is actually kind of excited at these turn of events. There is no current evil they should be concerned of other than the gloom which is easily dodged.

This game is about finding and being with Zelda.

It's been that from the very start.

From the moment you wake up on the geat sky island you are given the objective to find zelda

Everyone who is close to you is asking where is zelda, you are told to investigate each region because zelda was spotted there, not because a great evil has arrived and they are in danger (even though that is also the case, zelda is still at the forefront of your concern)

It's only later in the game, once you have almost everything done that the goal becomes defeat ganondorf but even then, it is because you now know what happened wih zelda and need to make sure her efforts were worth it. Once you know that zelda's goals are to defeat ganondorf, that is when you join her in her goals rather than looking for her.

Even until the very last second of the end credits scene it is about getting to zelda, saving zelda, making sure zelda is okay, standing by zelda...

Breath of the wild was about regaining your memories, doing what you can and gaining forces to aid in defeating ganon because that is what you are told to do by the king at the begining, a role told to someone who has no memories, no way to make a decision of what he wants to do. This is even so in the memories, he is a soldier that must do as he is told, no choices made by himself alone. The game is about rebuilding and defeating an evil before it can stop that healing. He, We are a slate that has no job to do other than save everybody in time.

In tears of the kingdom, we have those memories, we have those experiences, he has the connections and emotions to decide for himself what he wants, not a duty to the kingdom. He got to chose what is important to him and he got to put that front and center in his life, above duty, above a role, above anything else,

And he chose Zelda...

[urfavbooblover]

Letter with lipstick || Ada Wong x female reader

Warnings: none

(remind me if I missed any)

- Resident evil 4 masterlist link -

Y/N’s pov:

Earlier:

Sitting on my bed, i stared down at the letter in my hands. Her handwriting was beautiful, less of the words she wrote to me. She’s on a mission again, all the way in spain and couldn’t tell me one thing about it, neither why she was there. “It’s important”, she committed to the paper i was holding.

She just ended the letter with “Love, Ada”, as my eyes landed on the kiss she placed right next to it, with the lipstick she always wore. The kinda red i love seeing on her and she knew all about it. I let out a sigh, “The woman that you are, Ada.”, i said, folding it together again.

Ada and I are close, too close just to be partners. We ‘slipped’ one time and in the next moment you saw our lips all up on each others.

I missed her. I couldn’t stand the thought of now not seeing her again for who knows how long. She’s good at what she’s doing, fulfilling her job just for everyone to be more than satisfied and i was feeling proud of her, for how far she has come. But the thought of losing her, especially when she’s so far away, has taken over my brain.

I informed myself about the situation, asking everybody for detailed answers. Anybody needs to know where she’s at, no? They weren’t down right away to tell me, but eventually gave in. Who were they to stop her from going there? Exactly, she did her own thing, going after what’s happening in rural spain.

“I need you to take me there.”, i commanded, standing tall against them. There was nothing they could do about this either. I’m not easily giving up, someone must have the trust to let me ‘surprise’ my woman. At least that’s what i liked to call it. I know Ada will be more than caught off to see me, however she wouldn’t mind. Quite the opposite. I can’t expect much different than a nice welcome.

Present:

Now here i am. I’ve been dropped off by the helicopter and one of my kind co workers who brought me to this place. I can thank him a lot for this, i guess i owe him something but that’s not my worry yet. I have to find her. So i didn’t think much, i rather started looking at the area around me.

It looks like a farm, the area is completely destroyed. I walked over dead bodies, scrunching up my face in confusion. Nothing i’ve never seen before, but someone must’ve been the cause of this. Was it Ada?

I was informed about a little story, so i went careful into this. I was here for only one thing actually. Ada. Whatever comes in my way isn’t as much as important as her, nothing is. No one else. I was ready to be confronted by her pretty self and sped up my walking through the paths and winding ways.

I was prepared for everything. I had my weapons and all that i could possibly need. I’d do anything to bring us both out of here. Anything for us. She surely knows i don’t give up easily and most definitely wouldn’t on her. No one even compares to her and the way she makes me feel. There’s no one quite like Ada.

I needed answers though. Am i really on the right track? I guess i was answering my own questions and thoughts when i came across a giant creature laying eliminated on the ground. Who else could’ve defeated it? She was here, i was more than convinced.

I jogged along the stony and muddy path, when i suddenly heard something. I slowly moved forwards to where those sounds came from, confirming myself that i’m hearing voices. It was all blurry and i didn’t know whose it might be. Till i made out the statute of a familiar woman. My eyes landed on her, my woman.

“No way..”, i whispered to myself, taking one more step towards her. “Ada!”, i shouted, catching her attention. Her body turned around, slightly facing me. I felt something in my stomach, when i saw her face. She immediately recognized me, her gaze softening but then again with confusion written all over her. She was completely stunned and couldn’t seem to move.

“Y/N?”, she said in a questioning tone, as i moved over to where she was standing. I was about to open my mouth, before i glanced down. A man stood there, his eyebrows were furried together as my face expression could be read as jealous. Who the fuck is he?

“Y/N. Look at me.”, i heard her soothing voice close to my face, interrupting my staring interaction with that guy. I slowly turned my head, seeing the slight worry on her. “What are you doing here? How did you get here in the first place? Are you hurt?”, she placed her hand on my arm, only ever showing so much weakness around me.

“I’m okay, Ada. I came here just for one reason, it was a pretty long flight.”, i explained, looking into her eyes that always shined so beautiful. “What about you?”, i asked as she moved her hand down to grab my own. “I’m on this mission, i was doing fine till i saw you. Now i’m feeling even better.”, she gave me a small wink before that strange man interrupted us.

“Uhm? I’m still here.”, he said in a nervous tone, letting out a playful chuckle. “Who is-“, “I have a deal with him.”, Ada interrupted my question, knowing what i was about to ask. She knew how protective i can be of her. Not in a controlling way though, most things i do are out of worry, making sure she’s doing as okay as she always claims.

“I got a name too, lady.”, “I’m Luis. You must be that girlfriend Ada kept mentioning and talking about.”, he continued. Ada’s eyes widened in response as a smirk formed on my face. So she called me her girlfriend behind my back? “Well yes i am.”, i confirmed very proudly, as i could see a rose color appear on her cheeks.

I placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, taking her hand in mine. “I missed you, Ada.”, i whispered and watched her nervous state. “I missed you even more, Y/N.” I smiled at her, before looking down at Luis once more. “You surely don’t mind.”, i said, pulling Ada with me as we walked away from that scene.

“Hey! How am i supposed to get up here though?!”, Luis yelled after us, all desperate. We both chuckled to ourselves and i took Ada to a quiet place. I moved close to her body, our face just a few inches apart. “I came here just for you.”, i whispered, tilting my head a little to the side.

“Oh what would i do without you, Y/N.”, Ada responded in her typical flirty voice. “Be glad you have me.”, i muttered, closing the gap between us. It’s been way too long since the last time i felt her soft lips against mine. They tasted just like cherries.

[demontruth]

Prison Time for Trump is needed and this Why...

Y'all, I just did the math (if I did it correctly), I just realized something Trump could get 136 years in prison!! Because each of 34 counts comes with a maximum of 4 years if the Judge decided that Trump should do them separatly boom 134 years! Which fingers crossed. I know that highly unlikely but still the thought makes me so incredibly happy!! However I do think the Judge should give 'No Longer Teflon Don' some prison time.

Here's my thoughts on that. Because no matter the amount of time it's gonna fuck with Trump's head psychologically, as I see it. He's gonna be put in handcuffs taken out of the court room, hopefully. Put on a prison bus, once again hopefully. He's gonna be taken to a prison, maybe it be white collar or please let be federal prison. They're still gonna take all this clothes from him and anything that he has like his expensive ass watch and everything else he has on his person. Then they're going to strip searching him, which I feel extremely bad for whatever prison guard that may end up having do that. Give that man bonus, no joke. That's gonna have to do that. But still just that experience is going to be humiliating and demoralizing which I'm sorry he deserves in my opinion. Maybe but doubtful it will teach him some humility. Then they're going to make him get into whatever color jumpsuit, may it be orange, oh please Jesus let it be orange! Then those he going have to put on those lovely prison shoes. Then they're gonna take his ass to a cell where he's gonna have a celly no doubt. Hopefully its someone that fucking dislike him strongly and not one of his MAGA asshole. And then they're going to close the cell door. That sound alone I would imagine would have a profound effect on him mentally. Because he's the arrogant, a narcissist, egotistical, sociopathic. In that prison he's just like everybody else. He's can't stand up there thinking he's the big man having all his loyal MAGA cult followers screaming and cheeringfor him. That's going to mess with him like nothing else. And put him on a level with what he considers common people is going to mess with him in a way that nothing else ever could. Because he won't get special treatment, the prison guards aren'tgoing to treat him better then the other prisoners shit they might treat him worse if he acts up. Ithink it's so important that it happens to this motherfucker. It's time he brought down to the level he deserves. The level he's been running from forever. Because has anyone seen him now? I have no by choice, just watching the news and of course he's all over the news. He looks so defeated, pathetic, sad, old, beaten, tried, as he would say zero energy. As evil as this may sound and I really don't care... I fucking love it!! Give more of it!!

Now we just HAVE TO DEFEAT him in the Presidential election!! Biden may not be what we want either but it better then a man that's going be hell bent on revenge on everyone that disagrees with him, but on trial, who still want to but him on trial. Remember he still has at least 2 more trials coming and if gets back in the White House he'll do everything in his power to squash them. He'll go after the FBI, the DOJ and every other agency that investigated him. He will literally go on a witch hunt! Don't be mistaken and don't be stupid enough to believe he will not go full Dictator if he gets back into the white house. Trump likes/loves power far too much either far actual prison time with more criminal trials down the road he'll use that power to make sure that don't happen. See the whole I want to President again is just a Red Herring, to distract everyone from his criminal trials and a way to make them go away.

Once again I'm saying something I've been saying since before Trump became President the first time omg I'm tried. But anyway. Trump doesn't give a flying monkey shit about anyone but himself! Not the us the American people, not our Foreign policy, not climate crisis, not gun control, not education... nothing!! The only reason his sides with the Conservatives is because they kiss his ass. I completely understand why us on the left will not. But it does put us in the position of Trump not doing that we need him to do. So as much as I hate this we should pick somebody on the left that would be willing to kiss his ass so hopefully he would start doing what we want him to do. And you have no idea how much that pains me to actually write that!

But we on the left need to start fighting like we did in the last Presidential election! Grass root efforts, hitting the streets, online, fucking everywhere, especially with swing voters! We have get Biden re-elected no matter what because this another election of our life times that will matter in more then just 4 year from now!!

[panickedscribbles]

One thing that always sticks out to me when listening to The Protomen is just how terrible the people of the city are.

Like, a fairly standard assumption in Hero-centric fiction is that people, as a whole, are worth saving. Yes, there are going to be evil villains the hero must fight, and yes, there are going to be scumbags who really aren't worth the heroes effort, but generally there is good in the world and it is worth fighting for.

But that just straight up isn't true in these albums! It starts in Act II with the lynch mob from "The State VS Thomas Light", which I could sort of excuse. People do stupid things when they get caught up in the heat of the moment, and pack mentality is a powerful thing. But as things slowly get worse, no one stands up and says "this isn't right."

By the time of "Breaking Out", there are a grand total of two people willing to do anything about the state of the city, Light and Joe. Then following Joe's very public death, no one else stands up and says enough. Everybody just goes back to keeping their heads down and pretending nothing is wrong, for the next 12 years.

Finally, in "Hope Rides Alone", Protoman arrives to save the day, only to find he's entirely bereft of allies. There is no rebel alliance to help the conquering hero defeat the evil empire. It's just one man, standing alone against an never-ending army. He does his best, he fights his hardest, he gives it everything he's got, but it isn't enough. It was never going to be enough. Not alone.

And this is where the first real nail gets driven into the coffin. "We are the dead." The people of the city chant this as they watch their hero fall, but it's clear he isn't included in their mourning. They cry, not for their fallen warrior, but for themselves, for the fact that they will have to live under Wily for longer. They could step in, fight back, save Protoman. But that would mean risking themselves, and that's just not worth it. And I just have to drive this point home: a man is being beaten to death in front of them, and they're busy singing "Oh, woe is us, the Real Victims™ here."

Fast forward another few years to "Sons of Fate". Megaman arrives to finish what his brother started, only to be forced to murder the man he came to avenge. The crowd that gathers eggs him on the whole time. They don't care that the man he's fighting once fought for them. They don't care that he died trying to free them. They don't care that they're asking their new hero to murder his own family. They only care about themselves. Nothing has changed. No lessons have been learnt.

What else is there for Megaman to do except walk the same path his brother did, only this time with the benefit of hindsight. There will be no last stand, no heroic sacrifice, no warrior to stand between mankind and Wily's horde. This time they are on their own. This time they will have to fight for themselves, or they will be cut down. And Megaman is fine with either option.

I think that's a really neat direction to have taken things, and I'm looking forward to seeing how things finally change for the better in part 3.

[sorcerersandskillusers]

A look at the struggles Atsushi faces throughout the series, and how he grows to resent the justice he was forced to learn. As well as his connections and contrasts with Akutagawa.

Atsushi is very different from a typical protagonist, who try's to save everybody they can, and never wants to kill anyone. Because he didn't develop this mindset from an inspiring, kind mentor; or from some innate sense of justice, or even from just his own hardships.

It was literally beaten into him through his whole childhood.

graphic depiction of abuse ahead:

Atsushi is compelled to help people. I defiantly think part of it is that he is just a kind person in general, but It is also a compulsion that he cannot refuse.

He is forced to disregard his own feelings and safety, he suffers so much pain, but he can never refuse, which is why he views it as a curse.

In BSD killing is not treated with the same 'good people can never, ever be willing to kill someone' that a lot of shows treat it as.

The entire ADA minus Kunikida was willing to try and kill Mori to save Fukuzawa. Fukuzawa has killed in the past, and told Kunikida to shoot Dazai if he sensed any evil in his heart(Dazai Osamu's Entrance Exam). Kunikida has been shown to be willing to kill if absolutely necessary

I point this out to show that Atsushi's refusal to kill is not just 'because he's a good guy and would never do that'. We see in BEAST that, if twisted a bit, he can be made to kill without hesitation. His refusal to kill comes from a much darker place, and makes him a perfect foil to...

Akutagawa.

Akutagawa and Atsushi have incredibly similar histories, It's literally spelled out in BEAST that the two of them have more in common then they have with anyone else. Both children raised in hell. But there was one key difference, The value they saw in the lives of others.

I've already talked about how Atsushi was raised to think that his own life had no worth, and only the lives of others mattered. But for Akutagawa it was the opposite. He grew up in the slums, where every stranger was a potential threat to him, his friends and sister. He had to learn to kill without hesitation, and to see no value in anyone else's life.

Dazai only made this worse, telling Akutagawa that if he couldn't defeat anyone in his path, that he had no right to live. And brutally punishing any sign of weakness.

Both Akutagawa and Atsushi search desperately for validation, and the right to keep living. They walk on opposite sides of a mirror, each only seeing half the picture, neither willing to see themself in the other.

Which is why they can both show the other exactly what they need to see.

The two of them hate each other so much because they are the same ,they each embody what the other most hates about himself and this is why they can each teach to other to overcome that hatred and to see the whole picture they were both denied as children.

Their growth over this past few arcs; with The death of the orphanage director, Akutagawa that killing everything won't solve all his problems, Atsushi having to stand up and pull himself together to save the ADA.

Akutagawas greatest flaws were his short-sightedness, and inability to see beyond himself and learn from his mistakes.

While Atsushi's greatest flaws were his crippling anxiety and indecision, as well as inability to let go of his past.

Opposite ends of the same spectrum, so now they must guide each other to the middle and find a balance.

Finally, the 'promise not to kill anyone for six months' with this, Atsushi is showing Akutagawa the value that can be seen in the lives of others. We see this in the security guard Akutagawa spared being the one to distract Fukuchi and let Atsushi escape. Akutagawa seems to have truly grown a lot since he and Atsushi last saw each other. But what about Atsushi?

Spoilers for chapter 107:

I think that Atsushi will kill Akutagawa. We know that Akutagawa died before he was converted into a vampire, and with his lung condition being established just before then, even if they find a way to revert him, he would still be nearly at the end of his life.

I think that Akutagawa will probably temporarily regain control of his body, but be unable to revert fully, so he will ask Atsushi for that duel he promised him. It would even parallel Atsushi "killing" Shibusawa in TDA, since both were technically already dead to begin with.

Atsushi taught Akutagawa how to value lives, and the patience to consider his actions and Akutagawa will teach Atsushi the conviction to take them and how overcome the guilt he feels within himself. each one going from black and white, to grey.

[comikadraws]

Another thing that's damning is the fact that Yamato, anko, Sasuke and many, many others, even kabuto, never receive any compensation for what orochimaru did to them and they're forced to live with the fact that orochimaru destroyed them and what they had completely and the fact that he violated then. Brings so many disturbing parallels to the many, many Asian victims and the genocide that Japan inflicted. The more I think about it, the damning it is.

On another note, orochimaru deserved worse. I mean, we're clearly supposed to be disgusted and horrified at his actions and he was a legitimately great villain because of how pure evil he is and I'm pretty sure everyone was rooting for him to be defeated and finally get the punishment he deserves, yet he doesn't even get a slap on the wrist?? In pretty sure he's STILL doing experiments so he hasn't changed, he's still the same person he was ever since then.

I don't know what Kishi is like as a person, but that's so many red flags in his writing.

For reference: We had a conversation on another post of mine about Orochimaru getting away with the atrocities he has committed. We thought that he could possibly be compared to individuals such as Ishii Shiro from WW2.

For Ishii Shiro, read up on unit 731. For Orochimaru, Naruto chapters 121 & 122.

The obvious comparison is that both Orochimaru and Japan conducted human experiments and were then pardoned for being "useful" (in the case of Ishii, he was pardoned by the US) - because crimes against humanity are not crimes against humanity if it's the Good Guys™ doing them, obviously. I trust that I don't have to explain why this is hypocrisy at its finest and, overall, morally deplorable.

It's honestly disturbing just how often red flags manage to slip their way into Naruto. And yes, it's a story about war and war is a messy and difficult-to-write topic but all that needed to be done was acknowledging Konoha as the fucked-up dumpster fire it is and hold the perpetrators responsible.

I love Kishimoto's philosophy on villains and redemption, that there's some good in everybody and that redemption is possible. I really do. But there's a line. And personally, I draw that line somewhere before human experimentation, genocide, and slavery.

I don't know why Kishimoto thought that Orochimaru's redemption was a good idea. The idea of letting him get away like that is ridiculous to me but I'd also rather not try to make any assumptions about Kishi as a person from that.

In his defense, Japan is notorious for omitting its war crimes. And as a mangaka who gets like 3 hours of sleep per day, it's understandable that Kishi wouldn't have the time to properly educate himself on history or society. I don't know whether Kishimoto actually researched the war crimes that his characters have committed (though I personally doubt it) or if he just decided that "all wars are made up on people's grudges" because his grandparents told him once and thought of everything else as secondary. I can only guess.

In my ideal version of Naruto, Konoha's crimes would've been acknowledged, Danzo's crimes would've been made public and Orochimaru would've gone to prison. But none of that happened and I can only assume it is the result of Kishimoto's upbringing or a sacrifice he made to keep his target audience happy. I doubt he just deliberately decided to excuse any of these horrors and if he did, I'd argue it was born from nativity rather than malicious intent.

But man. The story sure suffered because of it...

[rawliverandgoronspice]

If Ganondorf was lying to anyone during that Wind Waker speech, he’d be lying to himself. The gerudo desert was indeed harsh, and Hyrule sucked during his time, but legit everything he did in Ocarina of Time is completely unjustifiable, except for the murder of the King of Hyrule. The man sat in luxury for 7 years with monsters surrounding the land, while his people remained in the desert. Yet at the end of the day, he believed that he had every right to do all of that.

Self-justification isn’t a trait that’s outright noticeable with Ganondorf, but Wind Waker puts it out in the open and shows that yes, the self proclaimed “King of Evil” truly believes he’s deserving of the world, and that his circumstances justify his crimes.

I feel like the fandom misses that while Ganondorf may not be this complex 5d villain, he still carries an interesting amount of traits like this

Hey, thanks for the ask!! I'm sorry, I haven't slept in over 24h and felt particularly rhapsodic today so uhhhh sorrryyyyy for being cringe about my little guyyyyyy (and the approximate use of English language that might ensue)

So yeah, I think there's absolutely a huge part of that, trying to make sense of the violently absurd situation he found himself in, a monster and one of the last people who remembers Hyrule and how it was destroyed, and rationalizing to himself why it is not meaningless.

I have to say, not to be uhhh a parody of myself, but I think it could be a little bit more complicated than that (all of it being interpretations of the text that I don't think canon entirely backs always, but my point is that it could be read out of it).

If Ganondorf wanted any meaningful chance to reshape his own reality, then there's no doing that without access to the Triforce. If he had wanted to go for the King's head and nothing else, he would have been stopped immediately by everybody who do have access to shards of the keys to the Sacred Realm (not to mention how trigger happy Zelda was about wishing ????? something to the Triforce about erasing him in some form). I don't think it would have been reasonable to aim for anything but the Triforce as a military goal --not to mention that his beef is half with Hyrule, and half with the Goddesses themselves for considering the gerudos beneath them in some form and for some reason (which becomes even more apparent and deranged in Wind Waker, as part of why he can't let go of Hyrule in my opinion is because their intervention was so violent he simply cannot wrap his head around it and, as usual, Will Not Be Defeated >:((( because he's that kind of bitter little shithead, which I uhhhh relate to a little too much maybe). And then, well. You can't exactly ask for the Triforce and be nice about it, right?

I'm not saying he wasn't gleefully horrible about it the entire time, but I can absolutely see a case of him being self-centered enough to see each of his actions as the necessary (or righteous/vengeful) next step to get closer to his goals, and one thing leads to the other, and after seven years of strife, well, the kingdom you wanted to rule is a pile of rubble, ash and misery you enforced at every step, and oops! You have alienated absolutely everyone who aren't your weird moms!

There's a ton of things to say about the many interpretations that could be made of his relationship to the gerudos so I won't over-expand on that, but, uhhhh yeah he probably used them, or at the very least ruled them with an iron fist to enforce his own power he believed unquestionnable (even if the goal was genuinely to do things for their sake, which in my opinion could still be argued --Hyrule is a big nightmare place during his reign, but the Valley is the only location basically untouched with arguably Kakariko after all).

To be honest, I think TP Ganondorf is more accursed with a sense of self-justification than WW Ganon, who has a surprising amount of clarity on his own motives (to restate my tags on a post I just reblogged: I don't think "I coveted this wind, I suppose" is particularly self-pitying, it's soberingly self-aware if anything). TP Ganon is the one who's obsessed with divine purpose and considering himself a weird take on the Chosen One.

But yeah, I think... To be completely honest, I sometimes feel like Ganondorf's potential (!!! not actual execution, very important to draw this distinction) is just kind of too large for the IP that birthed him? The full breadth of his complexity cannot be explored in a setting that demands he merely generates a simple conflict that doesn't seriously question the status quo while everything about him inherently begs for it (and I love Zelda and its simplicity and what it does, to be very clear!). Like, I know this is just me justifying my own investment to a degree, but... his relationship to the gerudo culture, his relationship to gender, to divinity, to fate, to self-definition, to absolute resistance grinded down to the point of absurdity (but at the same time, what else is there to do)... like all of this absolutely has potential to be large and epic and breathtaking, but. Nintendo needs to preserve the statut quo. And Ganondorf just cannot express all of these themes without having this simple world literally collapse around him.

This is what I find incredibly compelling about this dramatic disaster of a guy. And the very media that suggested all of these contradictions and inner conflicts (without necessarily understanding them at first I think) is now fighting tooth and nail against what it introduced, what he can embody and once questioned (in WW most potently) for the sake of Hyrule's moral balance, backpedalling into a state of simplicity that just never truly existed to that degree before --partially, in my opinion, because this conflict is scary to face heads on without taking significant artistic risks I am not confident we will ever see again, to be uhh less than optimistic.

So yeah! He isn't that complicated as the villain of the children video games for sure!! But. As a character, there's so much there, just sitting right under the surface.

[rubykgrant]

I'm curious, based on the scenes from the trailers, how would YOU have written Restoration? I think, personally, I would've had Sarge be unconscious for a couple days, forcing Simmons to step up as leader without offing such a good character. I also would've kept Doc alive and had Donut, Lopez, Sheila, and Sister be part of things more.

Oh, don't curse me with that, I'm having a hard enough time with all the thoughts for my OWN story-line... OK, but honestly? There is a versions that would be "perfect for me" (and that may as well be my own story-line), and a version that would maybe be what this final season was, but just a little different-

-Imagine it actually picks up immediately after Church's final message. Like, we hear his voice again, see the same visuals, but instead of fading to black as Epsilon blinks out, there is a brief pause... and everything goes into MOTION. Tucker and the rest of the characters start fighting, and we see the whole thing!

-When the plot actually starts, nobody is together. Similar to Donut's suggestion of taking a break from each other in 17, they all went their separate ways, but when problems start to pop up, they need to regroup (Doc isn't dead, Donut is part of things)

-If Sarge has to die (in my perfect version, he doesn't, but if he HAS to), he's injured first on the Staff of Charon, OR he's been injured and out of the main focus for a bit, and he doesn't die until near the end (still gets buried in Blood Gulch, but now everybody is there). If he dies at the beginning, there would be a lot of flash-backs to some of his lines through the series, being all significant and such

-Tucker keeping the armor and being the new "Meta" can go a few different ways, actually (and 19 had the potential for all of it, it just kinda didn't push it hard enough in any of these directions)

-One version, after the fight is over, Tucker stands back from the others as he realizes Church is totally gone... and orange flames flicker in the reflection of his helmet visor. @leonardalphachurch brought up a good concept of how Sigma probably wouldn't just FORCE Tucker to do anything, but instead convince him that this is totally a good idea (and perhaps driving a wedge between Tucker and his other friends). This is a "villain" who thinks they're right (but Tucker isn't just totally "evil"). Several times, he would defeat the others, have the opportunity to kill them, but he doesn't. The AI aren't torturing him, but as time goes on, their reasoning becomes less rational, and it is a struggle to remember why they're all fighting so hard for this goal, but they can't STOP

-Epsilon Deconstructing means the Fragments lost their memories... and so did Tucker. This can go hand in had with him and the Fragments getting too focused on the only thing they "know", finding Church, being "complete". It can also roll into a DIFFERENT kind of manipulation, with a totally different antagonist intending to turn Tucker and the AI into a new murder machine (it could be Hargrove, it could the UNSC, could be somebody else. they just recognize that Tucker is an incredible fighter and the AI are very capable, so they're manipulating the situation)

-Slightly with that same vibe, the suit was always a trap; Hargrove figured either Felix of Locus would put it on, and rigged the thing to take control and follow programmed orders. The AI are trapped in it too, forced to help fight, but don't want to actually kill anybody. ALSO, if you want Felix in there; he asked Price about the whole brain-scanning stuff, and thought he'd get himself some kind of "do-over" if he had a back-up copy of his brain. So, the REAL manipulative AI is, in fact, FELIX (when the original Felix died, his suit scanned his brain one last time and sent the information to the suit, where it waited to activate). In this version, Locus is more involved, he has to help stop the computer ghost of his toxic yaoi boyfriend

-After the final fight, Tucker leaves the group to go find Junior, and when the others finally see him again, he seems like a "bad guy", attacking different UNSC soldiers. He keeps AVOIDING his friends, not because he hates them, but he specifically doesn't want them involved in this mess. The government is calling Tucker an evil villain, but he's actually just been saving different alien planets, forgotten outposts, and people like the prisoners who have been hurt by the UNSC (Tucker gets a Temple arc, except he's like... actually successful. somewhere, in another dimension, Temple is sooooo mad and jealous). Somebody tries to stop Tucker with some weird tower, but it just activates Great Destroyer Mode. The rest of his friends need to stop him without killing him

-In all versions, everybody has an eventual show-down with Tucker and the AI, Tex comes back (because that was the BEST PART), and the only reason they need to fight him and remove the AI is so everything can kind of re-set. Tucker needs to remember himself, and the AI need to re-charge and calm down (if there is a Felix AI, he gets deleted. bye, hater). Donut is the one who pulls off the big epic throw with the AI Unit; he's got an ARM (also, one way or another, a conversation between the O'Malley who is only part of Doc, and the Omega AI. it would just be fun to hear Omega say something like "Nice to see you found your back-bone")

-We still have Wash talking to people he misses, but it's the other Freelancers (and maybe a hint of the implication that, if things hadn't been so traumatic during their first meeting, this is something he could have shared with Epsilon; memories)

-Tucker gets one final recorded message from Church, so they can have a decent good-bye. Within the AI unit, Church reunites with Tex, but the Fragments are there too, everybody is finally together again. They don't destroy it; instead, Caboose gives it to Carolina, telling her "When they're ready to wake up, you can see your family again)

-In either Sarge Dies scenario, Simmons gets VERY UPSET. He either loses his temper entirely, or he gets so quiet and cold, it is very unnerving. Grif has to snap him out of it. After all the big problems settle down, and Grif gets ready to go back home with Kai, Simmons tells him good-bye... and then starts following him after a short pause. What else would he do? (I have a dozen different ways I could imagine an emotional/romantic moment, but in all seriousness? it just isn't realistic for them to go separate ways. Grif and Simmons are stuck together for all eternity. I HAVE SPOKEN)

-Happy family reunion with Tucker and Junior! Everybody else finds their own path in life, they know they can still reach out to each other again, but they all have different options now (Wash wants to go track down the Triplets, and Niner is gonna give him a lift)

There is... a LOT of other stuff, but I can't fit it all in. Anyway, some kind of "better" version of Meta Tucker that isn't just him being tortured/mind-controlled, and he gets his kid back, more of an emotional impact when it comes to losing Sarge, Grif and Simmons are stuck like glue forever, Donut and Doc get to be there... yeah

[glitteringcrab]

Rick and Morty unresolved plot points (I think)

Cocky Morty

Rick: Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster Brown. A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems. Can be a real bad thing for everybody.

Morty: Oh yeah? How's that?

Rick: Uhhhhh...I...I'll explain when you're older.

By the end of the episode, the blatantly obvious cocky Morty to us viewers is Evil Morty... However, Rick C-137 didn't know that and wasn't referring to that.

Which means there has been a previous incident (or incidents) where a Morty went sorta rogue and, like with Evil Morty, all hell broke loose.

The "I'll explain when you're older part" initially comes off as... I dunno. I mean it's the sort of thing you tell a child when they ask about the birds and the bees (which is obviously unrelated here).

Or, when a child asks a difficult question which has a complicated answer which requires years of wisdom, experiences and insight to understand.

I get the feeling Rick was avoiding the question because he felt Morty would NOT like the answer. And, given Rick's (and Ricks') past and his narcissistic tendencies, I wouldn't be surprised if he is at least partially to blame for the reason the answer would not be easy.

Now, we've seen Morty Prime getting sliiiiightly unhinged when the "right" (wrong) circumstances present themselves (purge episode, the time he shot Rick in blind fury in the citadel, death crystals episode, narnia episode) and I've read a theory that there is something inherently wrong with Morty, and that Rick's constant criticism is keeping it in check. That Mortys HAVE to stay with their heads down, because otherwise they'd be dangerous.

However, I don't think that's true. I feel like if that's what Rick was going for, that would be gaslighting. The idea that abuse is good for the victim, that the victim is irrational for not liking being abused is pretty manipulative. And Rick is absolutely abusive. He constantly belittled Morty (more so in the previous seasons), made fun of him, manipulated him out of his netflix dream, is currently forcing him to sell drugs, and... well, the worst episode for me was the vat of acid. I kid you not, I felt literal disgust for Rick during that episode. That episode was like a punch in the gut for me. The abuse is always so absurd it's played for laughs, but in that episode I did not find it funny at all. The pettiness and cruelty of it felt way too real.

Morty Prime does seem to be in danger of veering off to the wrong path, but if that happens, I think the reason would be Rick's influence, worldview, and the fact that Morty Prime is constantly exposed to danger and violence. Not the lack of constant criticism on Rick's part.

Back to the matter at hand: what would a cocky Morty do? What is a cocky Morty? As I understand it, a cocky Morty is a Morty who thinks he's better than Rick; or otherwise, a Morty who thinks Rick is less (less clever, less capable, less valuable) than a Morty. Or conversely, a Morty who thinks Rick can be defeated by a Morty. A Morty who thinks Rick SHOULD be defeated, and who is willing to try. It's not a Morty who becomes narcissistic enough to think that he, Morty, is a super-powerful god; it's a Morty who understands Rick is NOT a super-powerful god, but a human being who has as many failings as everybody else and can be treated as such. A Morty who holds Ricks accountable.

I think a cocky Morty is simply a Morty who doesn't let himself be abused anymore. A Morty who stands up to Rick and stands his ground. My guess is that the majority of Ricks would not tolerate that and retaliate... And given the "big problems, real bad think for everybody" part I think it's safe to surmise that said cocky Morty would be QUITE CAPABLE of wrecking as much havoc as Ricks do. E.g. imagine a Morty who discovers the Morty Factory and decides to try everything in their power to stop it-- if said Morty has even 1/10 of Evil Morty's capabilities, then all hell would break loose, with many Rick casualties. Or, to not go to such extremes, a cocky Morty who constantly stands up to their Rick would lead to a progressively more aggressive Rick who would try to re-assert his dominance in increasingly cruel ways. Not fun for anyone involved.

2. Morty factory - it's complicated

When confronted by Morty Prime on the matter of the Morty Factory, Rick C-137 said "it's not the whole truth" (to which the answer was "liar") and then he added "it's complicated".

When Morty Prime insisted on wanting answers right then and there, Rick changed the subject by breaking free and attacking Evil Morty's guards.

We never found out what the "complicated" and "the whole truth" part were. Sure, we saw Rick's downloaded brain, but that held no answers (other than his tragic backstory). We saw that he did not agree with what was going on in the citadel, but we didn't see exactly WHAT was going on- or why.

Evil Morty's parting words were "you can't outrun your past, Rick".

I can understand why Rick C-137 would create the Central Finite Curve (so that Rick Prime could get trapped inside) but if the Morty Factory was simply a byproduct of other Ricks' actions, why would Evil Morty hold him accountable? The Central Finite Curve traps Mortys in Rick universe, sure, but the Morty Factory would have occurred one way or another. Although, from the moment the Ricks banded together, they'd all find out about the Morty brainwaves thing, and therefore the demand for Mortys would soar; so I guess Rick IS kinda accountable.

Still, I feel like there is something more that might have happened, and that we don't have the full picture yet.

3. One True Morty

Initially I thought this was a (hilarious) joke (and it could very well be simply that), but... it's oddly specific. Given that this is a universe where there are clones of Mortys... I dunno. There could be more to it. It could be an actual person.

4. Oh man, he built it again

What Rick C-137 said the moment he approached Rick Prime's Omega Device:

Originally I thought it was referring to the weird trippy base Rick Prime had in Season 6, Episode 1:

But then I remembered that Rick C-137 hadn't really destroyed that. He had run off to help Domestic Beth and Space Beth. Theoretically it self-destructed afterwards, but I don't think that's what Rick C-137 was really referring to. Also, if you look at the screenshots, it looks quite different.

Rick C-137 also didn't seem surprised to hear that Diane had been wiped across all dimensions (he even said "I don't wanna talk about this" to Morty and Evil Morty) AND he had already heard the name "Omega Device".

The conclusion I'm getting is that Rick C-137 had already destroyed Rick Prime's first Omega Device... Which Rick Prime improved on, since it can now "fire more than once".

[demonscantgothere]

Okay, let's talk about Sauron. A lot of people want to paint him as a one-dimensional villain, and this is simply not true.

I do believe that Sauron has developed feelings and an attachment towards Galadriel, but at the same time . . . he's been nurtured by evil for an extremely long span of time, millennium after millennium, so the tragedy is his understanding of relationships. The process of a relationship, to Sauron, is based on the experiences beaten into him by Morgoth. It's one of a servant who serves their master, even if that master is vicious, vile, and violent. No matter what, you serve that master and do as you are told . . . and it's an unbreakable bond to Sauron. It's what he understands. It's what has been nurtured in him over the course of almost all his existence. That's a relationship to Sauron.

Once his master, Morgoth, was defeated, Sauron was free to become the master himself. His way of regaining his agency is to be the oppressor now. Now, every relationship that Sauron seeks out is going to mirror his relationship with Morgoth. He is going to expect someone to follow him, do as they are told, and never question him or his will, no matter what. Sauron is going to expect them to serve him, as he served Morgoth. With unfailing loyalty and devotion, no matter how he treats them or acts out against them. They should never stray from his side.

When Galadriel found out his true identity and began to turn away from him, we saw his desperation to regain control over her come out in full force. Anything he had to do to get her back to following him, trusting him, not questioning him or his will, he began to do. Because that is how he understands the process of a relationship. It's not an equal partnership. It's one of a master and a servant. And remember: he's the master now.

Morgoth was vile down to his core. Let me paint a picture for you: Morgoth kidnapped and tortured Elves and Men and Dwarves and everybody, and turned them into a vast sea of slaves, whose bodies he did experiments on, whose bodies he beat, whose bodies he used to breed more slaves, which was just Tolkien's nice way of saying he forced them to rape each other in order to make more slaves. This is how Orcs were created. It's really dark shit, y'all.

Now, pause for a moment. This beast, this vile creature . . . was Sauron's master. For the majority of Sauron's existence. And Sauron learned that listening to this master, following his orders, and doing what he was told earned him riches, protection, power, and position . . . while everyone else who didn't submit was mutilated, tortured, defiled, and raped.

We can sit here and scream about good and evil all day long like it's easy to understand with black and white lines marking the differences between the two, but most evil is just a process born out of the cycle of abuse. At the end of the day, evil deeds are often taught through a cycle of abusive relationships. Once you fall into that cycle, it's very hard to get out of it. It becomes a subconscious way of life. It becomes your understanding of how relationships work.

That's the tragedy behind all of this. Sauron doesn't know how to have a healthy relationship of equal partnership. It's not that he doesn't have feelings and emotions. All beings have feelings and emotions, and Tolkien explicitly described Sauron's intense hate for good people multiple times throughout his works. Why? Because he wanted them to suffer. As he has suffered. Whether that suffering was direct or just horrific deeds he witnessed, it doesn't matter. Even witnessing abuse is severely traumatic, and the cycle of abuse also creates a cycle of hatred.

Sauron is not a one-dimensional villain. Tolkien never actually wrote him that way. His extreme need for control is, in many ways, a byproduct of abuse, which has driven him to commit terrible deeds so he is not the one suffering, but other people are. And he doesn't care. As long as it's not him. He wanted control over everyone and everything, so nobody would ever have control over him ever again.

That's the tragedy. That right there.

[unabashedmoonlight]

If Nikolai didn't exist:

I love Nikolai but I think him being right there kinda took away some conflicts I would have loved in the story. He was such a convenient person for the throne.

It would have been interesting if with the civil war, the grisha rebelling against the darkling had the additional task of arranging their own coup. Instead of the Lantsovs vs Darkling in terms of who will get the throne, it would have been Alina (their most convenient option, even if it's actually Zoya or someone else ruling from the background, she would have to be the figurehead) vs the Darkling.

The grisha are fighting amongst each other and the king and apparat are pulling their own strings, calling their allies and what not to take both sides down while they are distracted and weakened, instigating the public, etc.

Nikolai was a good person, a good option for the throne as well as for the marriage of alliance. The Lantsov king was none of those. He also had disdain towards grisha and on hearing of the coup would definitely have preferred to turn them all into dust. So, even the winning side wouldn't be safe, no matter if they support him or not, he would not ally with them without trying to backstab them.

With Nikolai, Alina would have gotten the support of those who support the monarchy too, but without him, she would just have her cult (that too, the Apparat might try to mess with), and the relatively few people who see her as the lesser of all evils in the equation while still trusting her to be capable enough to not get them all killed and her side would have to make a lot more additional efforts for her to be accepted as queen and be seen as someone strong enough to not deliver them right on the pyre with her victory.

She would have to try to manipulate the Apparat, use her status as the Sun Summoner to manipulate the masses, try to get the king's help even knowing that he is doing this till she gets rid of the other side and then he will try and get rid of her. And she is new to these things so her allies would mostly be the ones telling her what to do while the Apparat, King and Darkling are trying to get her to do something else. It would be everybody manipulating each other while knowing each others' intentions and still trying to out-manipulate the other. The whole going from a puppet in the hands of several people who are all pulling her in different directions to becoming her own player would come out nicely.

And if the Fjerdans backstabbed the Darkling and were on secretly Lantsov's side because of course with the second army gone, he would easily be defeatable anyway. Would that make the Darkling think of the questions he did in Rule of Wolves? He most certainly would double down on blaming it on Alina, on how she should join him or she would kill them all instead of analysing why she is not joining him in the first place. Initially. But in face of defeat? He is willing to sacrifice as many individual grisha for his goals as there need to be but if it comes down to a threat on the existence of grisha as a whole? To everything he has built and to his chance to ever get the throne? Would he then compromise, however unwillingly? It could be a relearning the importance of diplomacy moment for him. He certainly did know of that before he snapped.

I don't think he would stop believing that he is always right, but if he has to go along with some demands of the other side because the other option is well..that - I think he will. Also, he isn't having to completely give up on the throne here. With Nikolai not a threat to his position, even if he doesn't immediately get the throne he would always have the hope that he would succeed in sitting alongside Alina one day, that she is still under his control even if he has to listen to some of her 'childish demands'.

And when he is not compromising for so long, his followers would inwardly question his priorities too, they would be worried about the future of their kind too.

Every character on either side would have a greater inner turmoil.

[guriyuri]

School Zone/「スクールゾーン」

🌸9/10🌸 (HIATUS)

A quirky yuri comedy about the chaotic daily life of high school girls! Yokoe and Sugiura have been together forever, and they've mastered the art of making trouble when life's a bore. High school might be a drag, but these girls in love know just how to inject a little chaos and comedy into their sloppy school life.

(Seven Seas Entertainment)

*occasionally listed as ‘School Zone Girls’

I fuckin LOVED school zone, man. There isn't a single character in it that isn't eeping out of their minds at all times. It throws almost all normal shonen/male-targeted troupes off of their kilter and is incredibly refreshing to read. One of its best qualities is its ability to maintain its identity outside of being a queer story- providing commentary on a wide range of topics relevant to high school, youth, etc. I can't really describe the effect of finally being able to read girls just being fucking stupid- other than saying its like running your brain under cold tap water, if your brain was a lesbian yuri enthusiast with a perpetual craving for full-cream milk. As silly as it may be, I actually genuinely enjoy its approach to w/w and adolescent relationship. 2 out of the 3 arguable 'main' three couples have one partner that is gender nonconforming/visibly queer, a rarity for contemporary yuri as a lot of works- to no fault of their own- fall into pitfalls of exclusively drawing hyper-feminine women to try present itself more believably or because it has no other way of proving to you that the characters are girls. The negative of this being that ostracises an entire group of people within the real-life lesbian community and disregards the instrumental role of butch lesbians in queer history by refusing them representation in a genre for them. Despite how I phrase this, though, I'm not exactly trying to present School Zone as a Magnum Opus or the pinnacle of political-correctness and singlehandedly defeating lesbophobia worldwide (which it did); I just cannot stress how badly we need diverse gender representation in yuri.

The main two girls are both fucking hilarious and strangely adorable in their own way (aside from being every gay couple to ever™). Their dynamic mostly consists of Yokoe being a combination of stupid, evil, and helplessly down bad and Kei being a single thread away from pulling a glock on her. If that can’t convince you to give szg a shot you’re a lost cause + I’m unplugging your life support. Anyways, they’re only one of the 3(ish) main pairings in the manga; but that’s where we get to the difficult part to talk about. Touched on some-what briefly, but too often to be able to ignore (iirc they have a handful of dedicated chapters), is Tsubaki’s incestuous crush on her sister Hiiragi. It’s kind of unfortunate this is in here and it sucks for me to have to mention but In this specific case I do think it’s worth overlooking for *so* many reasons. At its’ core their relationship is mostly focused on teenage adolescence and navigating complex familial relationships whilst still trying to grow up and find yourself. In isolation both Tsubaki and Hiiragi are very well written characters; on par with the rest of the cast and really are both very likeable. It’s when their relationship with eachother gets played up for fanservice is when they start to shit on your salad. Still, though, the author pretty clearly has no intention of actually writing them ending up together/Hiiragi reciprocating. So it’s highly likely Tsubaki’s character arc will lead her to move on, especially considering how she’s developed thus far. Last Couple worth discussing seriously is Fuji and Kishiya-san. While I was reading I was under the impression that Fuji + rest were high-school aged and Kishiya was in her first year at uni, but the only source I can find that lists their age says that Kishiya is a first-year high school student; which must make everybody else be in secondary school. Either way though, the age gap between them remains roughly the same and doesn’t really change my hot take on these two. Out of the entire cast Fuji is definitely the truest depiction of the experience of growing up sapphic, unknowingly. She is also my favourite :-). It was also refreshing to read about a girl who hasn’t figured it all out and is just kind of weird and off putting instead of elegant and tragic like the atmosphere of traditional yuri + made me feel weirdly heard? Call me biased, or a victim of grooming ALL you want but looking up to someone maturer, more in control, someone who feels above it all is someone you tend to gravitate towards when you’ve felt helpless and inept at understanding yourself your entire life. Much like Tsubaki and Hiiragi, Kishiya-san has yet to show any indication of reciprocating or even knowing of Fuji’s feelings and is what I think a genuinely positive influence on her. I can also imagine Kishiya-san fighting on the mental FRONTLINES to stay as patient and kind to Fuji as she is, aswell as taking the time to talk to her and treating her like a friend. Everyone please take a moment to acknowledge her service in the troubled youth industry.

There’s also Yatsude and Kaname but they’re pretty interesting so I’ll let you develop your thoughts independently on those two. They also have ZERO buisness being the most beautiful fucking women alive. The things I’d let Kaname do to me are to be repented for.