#and have overall the same amount of appearances when together and in merch

[nexo-nex]

Considering how much focus Holly got on the soft rebrand era, its crazy to me that she doesnt have much going on in the show. Like, aside from her side appearences and such she is never given any sort of storyline or major appearance idk, like not even an episode centered around her (her introduction episode doesnt really count cause again, intro episode) you'd think that giving her focus on merchandise would make us have more lot content of her in the show.. (yeah ik she has a book abt her and poppy but its not enough idk...)

i dont know, just random thoughts ...

[yumeka36]

Analysis on the absence of Elsa and the Northuldra in post-Frozen 2 stories

If you've been following post-Frozen 2 storybooks and comics as closely as I have over the past year and a half, you've probably noticed that the majority of stories take place in Arendelle and focus on Anna partaking in adventures with Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven. While Elsa has appeared alongside them in a few stories, as well as a couple of her own stories taking place in the forest with Olaf and Bruni, the ratio of "Anna stories" vs "Elsa stories" is pretty one-sided. And, while new characters introduced in Frozen 2 like Mattias, Halima, Bruni, and Nokk, have had some appearances in post-F2 stories, the Northuldra have had zero…not even mentions or cameos. I’ve been pondering on this topic quite a bit and finally got around to writing all my thoughts. This is a long and thorough analysis so sit back, enjoy, and put your thinking cap on...

The lack of Elsa in post-F2 stories is puzzling since both Anna and Elsa are fairly even when it comes to post-F2 content in general; all the post-F2 merch I've seen has both of them in equal amounts, and pictures of Elsa are always all over the magazine covers and paper craft pages that the comics come from. So it's not like she's being excluded from post-F2 merch overall, she's just noticeably absent from most of the comics and storybooks. Again, this is puzzling because post-F2 marketing gives the impression of "Anna's doing her thing in Arendelle" and "Elsa's doing her thing in the forest," so an equal number of stories for each sister, as well as a few where they do things together, seems like the most logical way to go. Yet the ratio of post-F2 stories currently looks something like this:

Stories featuring Anna in Arendelle with other characters (no Elsa) - 56%

Book & Comic: Anna getting a gift for the queen of Chatho

Book & Comic: Anna getting an official portrait as queen

Book: Mattias getting accustomed to Arendelle again

Comic: Anna and Mattias visit Halima

Comic: Anna and Kristoff make a bicycle for Olaf

Comic: The gang helps Olaf find a new nose

Comic: The gang celebrates the spring festival

Comic: Olaf minds the kingdom when Anna is sick

Book: The origin of Olaf, Kristoff, and Sven's epilogue outfits (this one is technically not post-F2, but I'm counting it since it's so close to the end of the movie. Also it’s an upcoming book, so no link yet)

Book: Arendelle celebrates the cloudberry festival

(out of these, Mattias has featured in about 17%)

Stories featuring Elsa with Anna and the rest of Frohana - 27%

Book: Anna awaits Elsa's visit after their initial parting

Book: Explore the North (this isn't a storybook but a collection of isolated scenes during and after F2; since some scenes are post-F2, I'm counting it)

Comic: Elsa visits Arendelle for charades

Comic: Anna and co. visit Elsa in the forest to help Bruni

Comic: Elsa visits Arendelle for the snowman competition

Stories featuring Elsa in the forest with the spirits (and Olaf, no Anna) - 17%

Book: Bruni's Big Adventure

Book: Elsa, Sven, and the spirits help Olaf find a unicorn

Book: Elsa helps restore balance in the forest that resulted from the misguided actions of some travelers

(out of these, Yelena, Honeymaren, Ryder, and/or other Northuldra have featured in 0%)

*Major shoutout to @chileanon​​ and @bigfrozenfan​​ for translating many of these stories that aren’t available in English*

(my percentages are based on the number of post-F2 stories released thus far, to my knowledge, in the form of comics or books. Some stories have both a comic and book version, as well as two different book iterations with only slight differences. In these cases, I'm counting them as one. Since comics are released sporadically and only in a few European countries, my number may be slightly off if there were any not brought to my attention on social media. I'm very active with finding information about post-F2 content, so I feel my numbers are fairly accurate. And again, I'm only counting stories that take place post-F2, or at least within the timeframe of the epilogue, not stories that take place during or before)

(I'd also like to point out that Olaf is the only character who has appeared in every single post-F2 story so far. It makes sense since he's a very marketable character for the kids and simple to write for. Though this probably wasn't the intention, I'm seeing him as a connection symbol between Anna and Elsa as they go about their new roles).

So what is the deal with these ratios? As I said, both Anna and Elsa have been evenly highlighted throughout all of Frozen 2's marketing, and continue to be to this day (and Elsa is arguably the more financially successful of the two and Disney knows it), so why is Anna so much more prevalent when it comes to post-F2 stories? And why are the Northuldra so left out? Obviously they wouldn't feature in a lot of stories since they're not main (and marketable) characters, but if Mattias can appear in a story or two, why can't the Northuldra at least get a mention? If someone hadn't seen Frozen 2 and read these post-movie stories, they would think the only residents of the forest are Elsa, the spirits, and some animals. Is there a reason for this? These are the kinds of questions I will examine and attempt to answer in this post.

But before I get to the meat of this analysis, please take note of the following disclaimers (I apologize for the length of the disclaimers, but they're important things to keep in mind):

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Disclaimers

- All of this is my own speculation based on the facts made public; namely, the content of the post-movie stories themselves. Since I have no insight into the coordination, publishing process, or other planning/logistics behind the creation of these stories, theorizing is all I can do. I don't know to what extent executives at Disney dictate what authors can and can't write in these stories, whether the authors actually have a lot of creative freedom yet choose to write the stories this way, or whether these outcomes vary depending on factors like country and story format. So I'm purely going off the limited knowledge I have and what I feel is most logical.

- Continuing from my previous point, unless you have some insider knowledge about the inner workings of Disney Publishing Worldwide, Disney Press, or whatever branch of Disney creates these post-movie stories, exactly who is responsible for the way they are is unknown. I could be wrong of course, but I doubt that Head of WDAS Jen Lee has the need to personally green light 6-12 page comic stories that get printed in a foreign language magazine read by, like, 1% of Frozen's worldwide audience. Even though Jen Lee and Chris Buck created the story and characters of Frozen, the franchise is owned by Disney firstly, and it's very likely other people at Disney provide approval for things like this in lieu of the filmmakers. It’s doubtful that the Frozen 2 filmmakers had any input into the creation of these post-movie stories, or even know that they exist. While the Frozen 2 filmmaking team is responsible for how Frozen 2 ended, they ended it in a way for post-stories to easily expand on the Frozen-verse like how I previously described; some stories featuring Anna as queen and interacting with the people of Arendelle, some stories featuring Elsa in the forest interacting with the spirits and the Northuldra, and some stories with them doing things together. And technically this is exactly what post-F2 stories have been doing–we have stories featuring Anna as queen, stories with Elsa in the forest, and stories of them doing things together…it's just that the proportion of "Anna stories" vs "Elsa stories" is surprisingly off, plus the complete absence of the Northuldra. And again, whether it was someone's decision that the stories should be this way, or whether it's just a weird coincidence, is unclear. Is there a particular person or persons from Disney's publishing branches pushing for the stories to be the way they are? Or is it the individual authors' decision? Or some combination of both…or some other factor entirely? Yes, higher ups at Disney have to provide approval for every official piece of media that gets released for their IPs, but who is "Disney" in this case? A manager/supervisor at Disney Press? Is it the same person who approves every new story or just some? Is it just one person who approves or is there some long chain of approval? And if so, how far up does it go...all the way up to someone who actually worked on Frozen 2, or does it stop before then? Does it vary by country? Does it vary whether the story is in comic or book format? There are a lot of unknowns in terms of how these stories come about, so please be mindful of that fact before assigning blame to any one person or group of people.

- And lastly, again, I'm only focusing on post-F2 stories–stories that take place after the events of Frozen 2. I know that comics and books have come out after Frozen 2's release that take place during or before the events of the movie, such as a comic about Ryder helping Kristoff with the proposal and a book showing Frohana having a family game night prior to the movie. For this analysis, I'm only focusing on how the characters and franchise are presented post-movie, in brand new ways not yet explored in the actual canon of the movie. I'm more interested in seeing how these stories are shaping the franchise going forward in anticipation of new official canon content whenever it comes.

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So with all this in mind, let's keep analyzing…

Lack of Elsa

First I'm going to examine the main reasons I have for why we don't see Elsa as often in post-F2 stories:

Arendelle stories are easy and familiar: Personally, I think this is the most likely reason, especially for the comics. The comics are made as part of magazines released in a few European countries. They're simply extra selling points for the magazines, which contain other items that appeal to kids, like arts & crafts activities, and Elsa is always all over those even if she's not part of the comic. I would also venture to guess that the authors and artists who create the comics don't have a ton of time, or incentive, to weave together interesting stories. After years of releasing Frozen 1-based comics that almost always involve adventures in Arendelle, I'd imagine it's very easy for current Frozen comic writers to simply follow that formula, since it worked in the past and is easy and familiar. Sure, they could include Elsa in more of those stories, but if you look at it from the perspective of a comic writer with deadlines, if I could get away with writing an acceptable story without including an extra character to draw/write for, I would do that as much as I could. If Elsa is still in, like, 80% of the magazine, I think little kids would still be enticed to buy them even if she's absent from the comic stories. Obviously with Frozen 1, all the characters lived in Arendelle, so it wouldn't make sense to have a lot of stories without Elsa (though there were some). But now that Elsa is living elsewhere, her absence in these stories isn't as questionable, especially when she's still part of the magazine in general. While this logic applies more to the magazine comics than storybooks, I would still argue that the storybooks are also niche and are simply made to bring in a little extra revenue to small markets rather than a serious attempt to expand the canon.

So then the question becomes, why not show more stories of Elsa in the forest with the spirits and/or Northuldra? Those stories could be simple too, like a story about Elsa and the spirits helping Honeymaren find a lost baby reindeer or something like that. The reason for this could again boil down to Arendelle simply being an easier and more familiar setting to work with. If excluding Elsa from the comics has no affect on magazine sales, since she's already present in the rest of the magazine, why not just stick with a formula that works and takes less effort to write? Even if coming up with simple stories for Elsa in the forest isn't too difficult, Arendelle is a more recognizable and "glamorous" setting, especially for the magazine's target audience of little girls. Another key point is that Elsa's exact role in the forest was left much more open to interpretation at the end of the movie than Anna's role as queen. Being the queen of a kingdom is something easily identifiable, and again, easier to write for. Why risk depicting Elsa's activities in the forest in a way that could conflict with Disney's expectations (assuming someone with clout at Disney green lights these stories) when you can just stick with safe adventures in Arendelle?

Disconnect between stories and canon: This is more of a general statement about fandom interpretation of the comics and storybooks as serious depictions of post-movie canon: it's best to keep in mind that these stories are, again, simply made to bring in a little extra revenue for the franchise, as most of Frozen's earning are either from box office sales or toys/dolls and other merch. Most of the books and comics aren't made with a large, worldwide market in mind, so I'd hesitate to think that a lot of effort is put into creating stories that are true depictions of post-canon content that would perfectly align with a potential Frozen 3 or other future official releases. Many of the post-Frozen 1 stories released in books and comics contradict each other in minor ways, as well as the actual canon movies and shorts as well. This is unfortunately what happens when you have a franchise like Frozen that's owed by a company (Disney) and not an individual director, author, etc. Unlike, say, Harry Potter or Naruto, where the work is owned firstly by the original author who has say into practically every new media piece that's created for their franchise, lots of different people at Disney contribute to various pieces of Frozen media and bring their own interpretations into it…interpretations that could end up not aligning with each other or future canon content from the filmmakers. A few different authors write the post-F2 storybooks, and still different authors write the comics, and I doubt they collaborate to make sure everything in their respective mediums match up exactly, nor do they check in with the Frozen 2 filmmakers to make sure every story released is a clear representation of whatever vision the filmmakers have for not-yet-conceived post-F2 content. This might not be the case for a bigger production, like the Frozen novels such as Dangerous Secrets, and shorts like Olaf's Frozen Adventure, but it is for these little kiddy books and comics that a very small portion of the market even knows about. Even if someone at Disney has to approve them, as I mentioned in the disclaimer, we have no idea if it's the same person always approving, different people depending on country/format, or if there's some chain of people who provide approval. This spreading out of the Frozen-verse across different media formats and Disney branches unfortunately spells frustration for fans who are constantly trying to build one, coherent view of the franchise's world through the alignment of the comics, books, shorts, and movies. This is unavoidably the nature of the kind of franchise Frozen is–something that's owned by a multi-faceted behemoth like Disney rather than a single author, so there's going to be a disconnect between its media formats that are conceived by a variety of different minds at the company. In the end, everyone is free to decide what they do and don't consider canon, but don't be surprised when the image the storybook writing team has for Frozen ends up being different than what the filmmakers create years later.

The pandemic: While I don’t think the covid pandemic is the sole reason here, it could be a possible contributor. Manufacturing was compromised across various industries in 2020, and magazine/book publishing could have been one of them. Maybe Disney did have plans to create more post-F2 books in early 2020, but had to change those plans (among many other things) when the pandemic hit. Some possible evidence for this is that, for some of the storybooks at least, the European translations are based on the English versions, which means the English versions came first, and yet the English versions weren’t released until several months later, most not even in hardcover form. This could indicate a slowdown in this branch at Disney in the US, or at least a portion of it. The US did get some hardcover Frozen 2 books in 2020, like Explore the North, Bruni’s Big Adventure, and the Frozen 2 manga, but not as many as Europe, which is strange if these books started off in English first. Again, without any insight into the industry, I can only theorize, but I do believe the pandemic should at least be considered.

Disney restrictions for future canon: This is an optimistic reason, but one that I think is important to mention. A possible reason that Elsa is noticeably absent from post-F2 stories, but not F2 marketing in general, could be because Disney has future plans for exactly what her role as the fifth spirit is and they don't want to risk anything that portrays that role in a contradictory way. They might not know exactly what that role is yet, but they'd rather not risk retconning anything that's shown in official content, like the comics and storybooks. Since Elsa's role was left open to interpretation at the end of the movie, focusing too much on what she's doing everyday could inadvertently reveal things about her role that could be portrayed as expanding the canon, something that these stories aren't allowed to do. So perhaps the authors are told to downplay Elsa's activities in the forest as much as possible, so often they'd rather just exclude her altogether to make things easier. Of course, this is complete speculation, but I'd like to hope it's true if it means Disney has future plans for Frozen!

On that note, the only story released thus far that has a direct depiction of what Elsa does in the forest is Tales of Courage & Kindness, a digital book that was recently released as part of Disney's Ultimate Princess Celebration campaign. I feel like this book is slightly closer to canon than the other books and comics because it was promoted on various official Disney social media outlets (and was released in English, while many of the books and comics aren't). It depicts Elsa's role (one role she has at least) of helping the spirits protect the forest from outside influences that could throw off its balance. Again, this book is still pretty niche and we don't know if there was any collaboration between the filmmakers and the author of this story, so this depiction of Elsa's role could be downplayed in favor of something else in future canon content. But what I found most puzzling about it is that this book, which seemed to be written for slightly older children than most of the post-F2 storybooks, had a perfect opportunity to feature the Northuldra, since it takes place exclusively in the forest. And yet, there wasn't even a mention of them at all. Which leads to the next portion of this analysis…

Lack of Northuldra

Even though Elsa doesn't appear in as many post-movie storybooks and comics as Anna (for possible reasons I just discussed), she still features in some of them. The Northuldra, however, have not appeared in any post-F2 stories, even the few that take place in the forest. This is strange since the epilogue of Frozen 2 very clearly shows Elsa with the Northuldra at their camp, as well as with the spirits. But as far as post-movie stories, the most we've gotten is one line from Elsa in one of the comics (English version from the official UK magazine):

(thanks to Snow on Discord for sharing this with me)

We can assume the "anyone" she's referring to are the Northuldra who live in the forest (unless she's referring to the animals of the forest, lol. Also, why the heck are they calling Bruni an "it"? This is a prime example of what I mentioned before about the disconnect between the various branches at Disney. In the Bruni's Big Adventure book and other official content, Bruni is referred to as "he/him")

As a matter of fact, Olaf, who lives with Anna and the others in Arendelle, is more prevalent in the forest stories than the Northuldra! I feel like he's been added to these stories to give Elsa someone to talk to, since Bruni and the other spirits don't talk. But why not have her talk to Honeymaren, Ryder, or Yelena? I know all the kids love Olaf, but you'd think they could get away with having one story where Elsa interacts with the Northuldra, just like Anna has a couple of stories where most of her interactions were with Mattias. And like Elsa, the Northuldra aren't excluded from post-F2 overall as they're still seen occasionally in other merch. They're just not in any stories that are set post-F2. This exclusion of the Northuldra is very bizarre, so let's see what we can analyze for why it's like this…

The Northuldra aren't marketable characters: This would be a likely reason if it weren't for the fact that Mattias, who is also arguably not a marketable character, has appeared in a few post-F2 stories. In fact, many minor Arendellian characters often appear in the comics and storybooks…Halima has gotten more attention in these stories than the actual movie! So I think it's more than that, which leads to my next point…

The spirits are more marketable: This is probably why stories that feature Elsa in the forest aren't focused on the Northuldra. Again, assuming the stories in the books and comics are created just to bring in a little extra money and not as serious depictions of canon content in collaboration with the filmmakers, it makes a lot of sense to keep the focus on what sells the best. We know that (in terms of merch at least) Bruni and Nokk were the most popular new characters from Frozen 2, so why not have stories with Elsa in the forest focused on them? This doesn't contradict the ending of Frozen 2 after all. However, this doesn't explain why there's literally no mention of the Northuldra. Even if the stories focus on the spirits, they can at least show the Northuldra in the background or mention them here and there. Which then leads to my next point…

Few stories in the forest, so few chances: In conjunction with my previous two points, I think this is the main reason for the lack of Northuldra in post-F2 stories…there just hasn't been enough opportunities. First off, most post-F2 stories take place in Arendelle, so no reason for the Northuldra to be seen there (unless they wanted to depict Arendelle and Northuldra mingling with each other, but that concept is probably beyond the scope of the kiddy books and comics!) And as of now, there have only been four post-F2 stories that take place in the forest…

-Bruni's Big Adventure: this one gets a free pass because it's aimed at very little kids and literally just shows Bruni and Olaf goofing off, with Elsa making brief appearances at the beginning and end. The more descriptive European version does mention about Elsa living in the forest with the spirits and no mention of the Northuldra. But again, this book seems aimed at an even younger audience than the others, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the author needed to keep things very simple and only mention what’s important for the story at hand.

-A Day With Bruni comic: this one could have definitely shown some Northuldra in the background, or even mentioned them in Elsa's dialogue. I guess the idea was for the group to meet Elsa in a secluded area, since the story was about helping Bruni get his fire going again, which could be dangerous at a camp site. I still don't know why they weren't at least acknowledged in Elsa's dialogue, but that could have just been a conservative choice by the comic writer.

-A Unicorn for Olaf: while this book could have shown the Northuldra, since it features Elsa, Olaf, Sven, and the spirits travelling all around the forest, I kind of see why they didn't; the theme was that each spirit Olaf encountered helped him get closer to finding the unicorn–it's a simple and easy narrative for a little kid to follow, no need to complicate it by including extra characters (I know it's hard sometimes, but we have to keep the target audience for these stories in mind...it’s much more narrow than the movies!)

-Elsa's story in Tales of Courage & Kindness: out of all these stories, this was definitely the one where the Northuldra should have at least been acknowledged. The story features the forest getting disturbed/thrown off balance, so you would think Elsa would mention the Northuldra, the people living there, perhaps to ask if they know what's happening or if anything was wrong. Really strange that this wasn't the case…only reason I could think of is, again, insistence on simplifying Elsa's role in the forest as much as possible, which includes downplaying anything going on in the forest besides just her and the spirits. Maybe the book author wanted to include mention of the Northuldra, but then was told to edit that part out for simplicity's sake. In Anna's equivalent story in this book, Mattias is absent, which I found strange too. Maybe the author was instructed to keep things simple and not include extra characters if it's not necessary for the story (again, the target audience for this story is the general audience of little kids, not hardcore adult Frozen fanatics). But still more possible reasons for the Northuldra's exclusion from this story, and perhaps the others, could be as follows…

Disney restrictions on depictions of indigenous people: I'm not sure how valid this reason is, but we do know that the filmmaking team consulted with the Sami people about how the Northuldra were depicted in Frozen 2. So when it comes to depicting them in anything post-F2, perhaps Disney's being super sensitive. Maybe the image they want to avoid is "we got your approval to depict the Northuldra in Frozen 2, but as far as anything after that, we can do whatever we want." It wouldn't pay to consult with the Sami on all these little niche storybooks and comics, so why go through that hassle when it's very easy to just exclude the Northuldra from them? There are some flaws with this idea though, like where does Dangerous Secrets fit into this (it's not post-F2, but it's still content featuring the Northuldra in ways not shown in the movie). Then there's the fact that Disney doesn't have this restriction with their other movies that feature indigenous cultures, like Moana for example. But the argument there could be that Moana is a main character, so they literally couldn't have any post-movie stories if they had this restriction, so maybe different coordinating/negotiations took place in that case compared to Frozen 2.

The Northuldra are nomadic: This is a reasonable argument for why Elsa seems to often be alone with the spirits in the forest. But I feel like the movie tried to convey that the Northuldra live in the forest. They might travel around the forest to forage for food and set up camp at different locations, but they don't stray too far. In the movie's prologue, Agnarr does say that the forest was "home" to the Northuldra, and I don’t recall Dangerous Secrets giving any indication that they leave the forest for extended periods of time. But this is something that could definitely be addressed in future canon, I just don’t think there's enough evidence for it as of now.

Coincidence/author's choice: This applies not just to the absence of the Northuldra, but lack of Elsa in the post-movie stories as well…it could all just be a coincidence. Maybe the authors of these stories have freedom in terms of how they portray Elsa and whether or not they include the Northuldra, yet they simply are choosing not to. Their reasons for doing so could be what I've already discussed–stories in Arendelle are easier and more familiar, so why not stick with that when there's no consequences for it? And likewise, why continually include Elsa, an extra character to draw and write dialogue for, in the Arendelle stories when there's no need to anymore? Maybe tomorrow a new story will be announced that features Elsa in the forest interacting with the Northuldra and what I've said here becomes way less relevant? But I feel like it's not a total coincidence…like, maybe some countries are more restrictive than others, or some Disney branches are more restrictive, like the comics vs the storybooks. It's hard to say, but some of this could be coincidence for sure.

Conclusion

To summarize, there could be several reasons for why Elsa and the Northuldra aren't as prevalent in post-F2 stories, or it could just be a weird coincidence. I'm of the opinion that the authors of these stories keep the focus on adventures in Arendelle out of convenience and familiarity, since the books and comics are made just to bring in a little extra revenue from small markets. Elsa is still all over other Frozen 2 merch like dolls and toys, and that's where the bulk of the franchise's sales come from. The authors could be restricted by Disney in some way with how they depict Elsa's role in the forest, or whether or not they can include the Northuldra, so they often opt to just not have them in the stories, or just stick to the more marketable characters like Olaf and Bruni. Without any inside information about how Disney's publishing branch makes these stories, we can only speculate. But what I do know is that viewing these stories as an accurate image of what all future content for the franchise will be like is very premature. It's only been a year and a half since Frozen 2 (and only seven months since new animated content with Once Upon a Snowman). Even though that seems like a long time for fans, it's an extremely short time in terms of how long Disney takes to create new content for their animated films. Just look at how many years it took to announce new series’ for Princess and the Frog, Zootopia, and Moana? Monsters Inc. just got a new series ten years after its last movie, and Lion King, one of Disney's biggest hits, didn't get a series (The Lion Guard) until nearly twenty years after its sequel movie. Even if Disney seemingly abandons a franchise, they often come back to it in time, especially one as popular as Frozen. Unlike a franchise such as Star Wars that has a whole studio just for it, Frozen has to share resources with other Disney movies, which is why new content for their animated movies is spread out across so many years. And if we do get a Frozen 3 or a series on Disney+ however many years from now, there's a good chance it could portray the current status quo differently from these storybooks and comics, just like how the post-F1 stories feature a different status quo than now. Whether another change like this is good or bad has yet to be decided, but until it happens, I'd like to imagine it's something like this page from the Explore the North book (one of my favorite post-F2 images)

We see Anna and Elsa having fun together while Arendellains, Northuldra, and the spirits are learning to get along again...and honestly, nothing in these post-F2 stories I’ve discussed contradicts this scenario. Even if we don’t see the Northuldra in the stories that take place in the forest, that doesn’t mean they’re not there. Even if there’s fewer stories featuring Anna and Elsa together, that’s no indication of how often they get together in canon. As I discussed, there could be a number of reasons for why the post-F2 stories are as simplified and one-sided as they are...they’re only meant to extend the ending of the movie in minor ways, so that if Frozen 3 or other official canon content is released down the line, nothing will have to be seriously retconned. As I mentioned, a lot of hands at Disney touch these stories without paying mind to the fact that the filmmakers could conceive something different in the future, which is why I don’t take the post-F2 books and comics too seriously. I simply enjoy them for what they do offer and don’t get hung up about what they don’t offer.

[emilythecosmicbun]

Creepypasta OCs.

Any updates information is on Wattpad WATTPAD: https://www.wattpad.com/story/255861941-creepypasta-ocs-emily-elliot-and-stedge

TW BLOOD, ABUSE MENTION

cottontailprincess is my Instagram and Emilythecosmiccat is my username on some art websites.

They/Them pronouns please

do not sexualise me, my characters or my boyfriend please he isn’t comfortable with that.

okay so these are my two vent ocs.

Emily/Elliot (Bunny.)

one of them, as you know, is my impure agere oc, representing all the sad and flashback parts of everything. I made them to help cope with my thoughts and feelings. They are based off of my appearance and my trauma. They age up with me.

BASIC INFO

Full Name: Emily/Elliot Bunzelle but prefers just Emily or Elliot.

Nickname(s): Bunny, Emmy, El, Em, Princess, Prince, Princette

Meaning of name: Emily (from Urban Dictionary.) An Emily is someone who is crazy inside and out. She knows who her friends are and try’s hard to look after them. She is very pretty but doesn’t always know that. She isn’t always the most popular, but to her that doesn’t matter. She has friends from all ages and they all adore her. She hides her feelings however upsetting they may be.

Meaning of name: Elliot (Urban Dictionary) Elliot is a true master at caring. He teaches how to love and be loved. A man of honour a man of steal. He's as handsome as a Greek God, as strong as diamond, as compassionate as a saint and is as gentle as a father's touch. Elliot possesses a magic within to create a vision in the eyes of all, leaving them stunned at how brilliant and perfect Elliot truly is. A leader, a spirit lifter, a lover, a giver, an Elliot'll leave you speechless with his being, his essence.

Gender: Non-Binary

Pronouns: They/Them

Age:

Currently 19, same as IRL me, though they physically and mentally regress to younger ages, so their age varies. Their main ages are variants of 1+

Date of Birth:

August 21st (Body born in 2001)

Race/Species: English and a Spirit or Entity.

Native language: English (as in England English.)

Orientation/Sexual Preference: Bisexual Personality: Silly, playful, honest, caring, childish, bratty, stubborn, sweet.

Are They Dead: No but they aren't alive either. Somewhere in between.

Any Mental Health Issues?

C-PTSD, due to multiple traumatic events. They frequently experience multiple flashbacks and nightmares, and is usually terrified of leaving their safe space unless it’s with Stedge, even then, they panic.

Triggers: Listed Here. Triggers page on my Carrd.

Powers/Special Abilities: Can float slightly off the ground, is able to phase through walls, spew blood at will, and look "alive" when speaking and comforting children, or just around those they trust.

APPEARANCE:

Looks:

Very young child:  Short but very curly/wavy brown hair, a bit lighter than when they are in older looking forms. They wear a pink dress with a white shirt under, and black school shoes. However, they can also just wear a sonic shirt and leggings, or a skirt.

Child:  They can vary but their usual look is long curly/wavy brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, blood on their mouth and nose area, tired-looking eyes, pink dress, sometimes a nightgown, depending on the look, they can wear socks, bunny slippers or even go barefoot! Sometimes they wear bunny ears! Sometimes they like to wear sonic gear.

Teen:  Depending on the age as a teen, at the point it's  "kawaii" inspired things, sometimes just a Melanie Martinez shirt and pants (or skirt), sometimes overalls! They also wore band merch, stuff like that. They have either long brown hair, black hair or multicoloured hair like Melanie Martinez (dyed in variants such as pink, red, blonde (more like light ginger.)

Adult:  Band tops, but also ones with cute designs on such as bunnies or kittens, sometimes overalls or dresses, sometimes even onesies, since they can still have the traits of an agere headspace. Short Brown hair, is a lot chubbier than the rest, can be considered mid or plus size.

Height: Varies depending on form and age, but usually smol.

Weight: (UNKNOWN BUT IT VARIES.)

Hair color: Dark brown/Brown

Eye color: Brown

Scars and/or skin conditions: Has a few bruises and a few cuts in some places, but I prefer to not draw them.

Has a skin condition called psoriasis. (I have it IRL.)

Never Seen Without: White Bun, and their three Cream The Rabbit plushies.

Likes:

• Things with peaches (the fruit) on them. (Including peaches and peach ice tea.)

• Bunnies

• Their Caregiver, Stedge.

• Drawing, and colouring in.

• The colour pink.

• Sonic The Hedgehog.

• Porcelain Dolls

• Stuffed Animals

Dislikes:

• Abusers (including physical, mental and sexual abusers.)

• Those who take advantage of vulnerable people.

• People who don’t take them seriously.

• Drama.

• Being abandoned or left alone.

Relationships:

Stedge - Partner in crime, best friend, caregiver and lover. (Depending on age of course.)

Cream.exe (Sally.exe game) - practically twinning, bunny loves to hang out with cream.exe. (my highest kin, apart from cream herself.)

Family Members - Depending on which member, they do have a good bond or a negative one. Bunny loves them on different levels, some of them, they hate.  This does not reflect on how (I myself) feel about said family members.

(If you want your creepypasta oc to be friends with Bunny, just ask!)

OTHER INFO:

• They age up with my current age since they aren't dead and they are based off of me.

• I decided to make them some sort of entity since I couldn’t make them a ghost and still be alive lol they age up with me.

•Their “trauma” is the same as mine, which is why I won’t write it in detail here but they are a victim of abuse.

• They are all bloody because its how I feel about my trauma.

• They physically and mentally regressed to the age they are supposed to be, if they are in their child forms, they are an actual child. (Direct reference to my age regression I use to help me cope with my trauma) They prefer to be in this form so they can protect and befriend children. They don't harm children or other victims of abuse. The children usually call them “bunny.”

• When they're in their adult form, they have a partner called Stephen. Someone who they have known since they were 17 years old. When they are a “child” he takes care of them and protects them to make sure they don't ever get hurt again.

• Their sense of justice is what caused them to want to help other children. They never want to see another child go through what they went through.

Any Other Info is on the Picture.

Stedge

Well, I also made a creepypasta oc to represent my boyfriend, someone who I love and trust to help me during those horrible times. He’s like my partner in crime. lmao also his age isn’t rly there because he ages up with his real life counterpart, which will get updated.

REMINDER TO NOT SEXUALISE HIM AS MY BOYFRIEND IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT.

BASIC INFO:

Name: Stephen

Nickname(s): Stedge, Mr. Bubbles (by Emily/Elliot.)

Meaning of name: Stephen The most beautiful boy in existence. Has stunning eyes, that make your heart fall through the floor when they crinkle with his perfect smile. Is deep, unlike most boys, and extremely intelligent. Has a big heart, and he doesn't realize when he's being taken for granted. Even though he would never admit it, he sometime's can't see what's right in front of him. An over-analyzer, and very stubborn, but he will admit defeat when he has to. Likes to drive girls crazy, apparently. Easy to fall in love with. Hard to figure out.

Gender: Male

Age: Ages up with IRL person. Currently: 19.

Date of Birth:

9th April

Race/Species: English, Human.

Native language: UK English.

Orientation/Sexual Preference: Straight

Are They Dead: No

Any Mental Health Issues? No, None that we know of.

Triggers: None that we know of.

Powers/Special Abilities:

He doesn't have many powers but he athletic and can run quick and has a good amount of strength. He uses a bat and other various stuff.

APPEARANCE:

Looks:

Short brown hair, brown eyes, a bit of facial hair, variants of a black or dark grey shirt, but obviously not only those, sometimes they’re ripped.

Hair color: Dark brown, brown.

Eye color: Brown.

Scars: None.

Personality: He is quite intelligent and mature, behaves childishly in front of Emily/Elliot, cold and serious, is kind, polite, protective.

Hobbies and Likes: • playing the guitar

• skate (skateboarding)

• listening to tunes

• spending time with Emily/Elliot.

Dislikes:

• Abusers, people who take advantage of vulnerable people.

• People who are cruel to Emily/Elliot.

Relationships: Bunny - Best friend, soulmate, would do anything to make bunny smile, frequently gets them stuffed toys and food.

EXTRA INFO:

He is a few months older than me in IRL, his age is 19 right now, along with mine but will be updated.

Stephen is a human, and helps take care of Emily (in their child forms.) since they are a child and very vulnerable in that state due to their trauma, when they’re adult they are romantic towards each other.

They work together as a team when bashing and killing abusers. While he uses physical means, Emily uses mental.

Any Other Info is on the Picture.

WATTPAD: https://www.wattpad.com/story/255861941-creepypasta-ocs-emily-elliot-and-stedge

[xb-squaredx]

Pokémon Sword and Shield: A Franchise Turning Point

The Pokémon franchise has been around for over 20 years, and in that time it has proven to be more than a passing fad and has carved out a massive multi-media empire. Outside of some rare spinoffs like the Pokémon Stadium games or the likes of Colosseum or Pokken Tournament, the series has stayed primarily on handheld consoles. For years fans dreamed of what a true, mainline Pokémon game could be like on a home console. During E3 2017 when Game Freak announced that such a title was in development for Switch, people got excited. The resulted games, Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee were not quite the main leap people expected, instead being a strange hybrid of Pokémon GO and remakes of Pokémon Yellow. However, the announcement that a true new generation of Pokémon would hit the Switch in 2019 reignited that hype. While at first excitement was high, over time a dark cloud hung over the titles, Pokémon Sword and Shield. Controversies erupted over the announcement that not every little critter would be featured or transferable to the game, and as time went on any new announcement was met with pushback. Everything from visuals to new features was criticized all the way up to launch day. Now that Sword and Shield are in players’ hands, at the end of the day…how did it all turn out?

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

This time around, trainers embark across the Galar region, basically the Pokémon equivalent to the UK. I do like Galar as a setting; it has a ton of character, with probably the most interesting aspect to it that Pokémon battles are treated as a major spectator sport. If you want to join in the Gym Challenge, you need a sponsor, and your Gym battles take place in massive stadiums filled to the brim with roaring fans. It’s an interesting deviation from past games, even if the basic formula is about the same. The characters within Galar also have a fair amount of charm from your main rivals to the Gym Leaders, to the undefeated Champion. A lot of people give Hop, your main rival, a lot of flak, but I found he had a lot of hidden depth to him and he has a satisfying arc as the story goes on. As he loses to you again and again, he doubts himself and subsequent battles have him throwing in random Pokémon and strangely his signature partner, the adorable Wooloo, is absent. Once he gets his act together, however, he forms a pretty balanced team, and Wooloo’s back front-and-center. It was a neat moment of character growth shown off through gameplay. As far as Champions go, Leon has a lot more presence throughout the game than a lot of past Champions. His flair, his awful fashion sense, his inability to follow directions…it all made him a bit more endearing. Most of the Gym Leaders are pretty much just there as stepping stones, but they all are fairly memorable either for designs or flashes of personality. It helps that everyone gives you neato trading cards too!

Galar’s main claim-to-fame is the Wild Area, a huge collection of different biomes located smack in the middle of the map. It has far and away the largest collection of Pokémon within, with different monsters appearing depending on the weather or time of day. It’s a place you’ll be returning to time and time again, and it made a big impact. It’s the only area in the game with a controllable camera, for one, and rather than follow a linear balance curve, the Pokémon you encounter in the Wild Area are often far too strong to handle. You’re even forbidden from catching Pokémon if you lack a certain number of Gym Badges, so the place is full of Pokémon you can only really admire from afar until you’re “worthy” of getting them.

Take the Wild Area away though, and Galar feels pretty small. With only ten Routes in the game, Galar is among the smaller regions. Most Routes are very straightforward, not many branching paths or hidden goodies, and there isn’t any neat new areas opened up after beating the game either. The Wild Area, from a franchise standpoint at least, is pretty impressive, but looking at the game on the whole it feels a little lacking. That’s not to say Sword and Shield don’t bring in new mechanics to mess around with, but whether they make up for what’s been taken away is going to vary with people.

GO BIG OR GO HOME

Since the games went 3D, each region tends to have its own core “gimmick” to differentiate it with older titles. X and Y had Mega Evolution, Sun and Moon had Z-Moves and for Sword and Shield we have Dynamax. Something in the air in Galar can allow Pokémon to grow to colossal size for a short time, granting them extremely powerful Max Moves for its duration. While Dynamaxing seems cool at first, the spectacle kinda wears off after your first few uses of it (not to mention the animation lasts forever), and upon further inspection it’s not as great of an upgrade as you’d think. For one, a Dynamaxed Pokémon only gets a health increase, and all other stats stay the same. Abilities and their elemental types stay the same too, so it’s not a game-changer like Mega Evolution was and it really has more in common with Z-Moves. The Max Moves can be nice, as they’re usually a good deal more powerful when it comes to raw damage, and can come with nice side-effects, but it’s kinda inconsistent. The stronger Fighting-type moves actually become weaker as Max Moves, for one. On top of the base Dynamax ability, some Pokémon can use “Gigantamaxing” instead. This changes their look overall and grants them a unique G-Max Move, though considering how hard they can be to acquire I’m not sure it’s all that satisfying. It doesn’t help that rather than having a certain species of Pokémon capable of Gigantamaxing, it comes down to unique Pokémon themselves that have the trait and it can’t be passed down through breeding either. Overall, Dynamaxing has its uses but I highly doubt it’ll become a staple of the series and will likely be replaced with something else for the Generation 9 games, and I can’t say I’ll miss the mechanic much.

One big addition to the series is Max Raid Battles, found in dens littered all over the Wild Area. Teaming up with up to three other players, locally or online (or team up with awful CPUs if alone), your goal is to take out a permanently Dynamaxed Pokémon. You get a limited amount of turns and if you suffer more than four knockouts, the Raid will end in failure. Victory, however, enables you to get rare and powerful Pokémon, some even coming with really great stats and difficult-to-obtain Abilities, and it’s practically the only way to get Gigantamax Pokémon. The difficulty of the Raids increases as you progress through the game, however, and the Five Star Raids can be brutal. The rewards are great though, getting a lot of extra loot. Bonus moves to teach Pokémon, EXP candies that eliminate a lot of grinding, and more, even if the capture attempt fails. The one real issue with Raids is that some Pokémon can be pretty stingy with appearing in Raids, and you’ll have to use somewhat rare items, Wishing Pieces, to kick some Raids off. There are also the occasional connection issues, but I have more to say on that later.

Outside of these new features, there are the standard quality-of-life changes that each game has, though some can be harder to notice and appreciate than others. You can send Pokémon in storage out on Jobs, to get some neat rewards and some EXP for them, though I find them to be a bit underwhelming. Being able to swap Pokémon on the fly now is a godsend, and together with the EXP Share built into the game, it allowed me the freedom to switch up the monsters in my party and get newcomers up to speed quickly. Most games I barely bother with more than the maximum six, but the sheer variety of Pokémon in Galar let me feel more comfortable with constantly swapping around. On that same note, no National Dex aside, there’s a LOT of choices in Galar. Route 1 alone has over ten Pokémon you can catch right at the start, as opposed to the common mammal, common bug and common bird. It was nice to see some under-represented Pokémon make the cut, but I won’t argue with anyone bummed that their favorites aren’t allowed in. It is a regrettable decision overall, even if it might have been unavoidable here.

Now, you’ll notice I didn’t mention the story much at all because…there isn’t much of one. Pokémon as a franchise isn’t known for its storytelling, despite the Black and White and Sun and Moon games existing and having very well-done stories. Overall, Sword and Shield seems to focus more on characters than an overarching plot and that isn’t too bad overall, but it makes the eventual climax more than a little disappointing. Team Yell, our villainous organization this time around, are just a bunch of hardcore fans for another rival of yours, a girl named Marnie. The conclusion to their story felt very flat, and the eventual main problem involving the Legendary Pokémon is tacked onto the end of the game with little build-up. It doesn’t help that the main villain’s motivation doesn’t make sense. He wants to avert an energy crisis that’s 1000 years from actually happening, and for some reason he refuses to let you get your shot at fighting the Champion because apparently putting things off for one day is unacceptable. It’s just very sloppy. And honestly, “sloppy” can describe a lot of this game, sadly.

WHY Y-COMM WHY

No game is without flaws, and Sword and Shield are far from the first Pokémon games to have their fair share of issues, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that these games in particular are a victim of compromise. Game Freak doesn’t have the luxury of delaying games and polishing them up to a fine sheen, not when the multimedia empire has merch and anime to launch at the same time. I’m also certain that working on this game alongside the Let’s Go games AND Little Town Hero did them no favors. So there are areas in the game that lack polish. The story’s abrupt conclusion, the visuals in general, and Galar itself feeling a tad empty; these are all compromises that had to be made to get this game to ship on the date decided well in advance. I can sympathize with the developers here, and really they’re in an un-enviable position. But at the same time, I’ve been playing Pokémon games for over twenty years, and I kind of expect better, you know? Far too many times I have to shake my head and question why something is designed the way it is, or why it feels at times like the games are going backwards in quality. Problems that were solved several games ago rear their ugly heads again, and for this being a brand new generation and the “proper” debut on a powerful home console, I can’t help but feel that this is just a 3DS game that’s been blown up onto my TV.

NPC character models and the Pokémon themselves look fine, as does the sleek UI, but environments look kinda rough. The Wild Area itself, I say with no exaggeration, looks like it was ripped out of a GameCube game. Those trees are a meme, but at the same time, they also look that bad. Some of the main towns are pretty grandiose, be it the giant castle theme of Hammerlocke, or the steampunk designs of Motostoke, while others feel incredibly barren. It’s kind of intentional with Spikemuth, but I was more than a little disappointed with how small towns feel. While it’s great that HMs have been officially retired (starting from Sun and Moon), Galar itself feels like it has little to offer those that want to explore. You don’t get access to a way to cross water until near the endgame, but there are only a small handful of areas you’d need to backtrack to with that ability. There’s not even a Victory Road in this game, or a rough equivalent.

Sword and Shield, from a competitive standpoint, seems to be trying to make strides in breaking down barriers and allowing more casual fans to dip their toes into competitive play, which I really appreciate, but I think there’s still room for improvement. While on the one hand, it’s never been easier to tweak and customize your Pokémon to your heart’s desire, the game is still not as transparent on certain subjects. You can view a Pokémon’s Effort Values, extra points you can place towards stats, on their stat screen, but only if you hit the X button on that screen, and there’s no indication that’s a thing you can even do. I was more than fifty hours into the game before a friend even told me that! There have been some pretty major strides to reduce the time commitment however, so I have to give the game credit there. As far as game balance goes, having less Pokémon to choose from does inspire creativity, though from what I hear, a fair few Pokémon are a bit of a problem, but that’s no different than any other game. Honestly, even attempting to balance a game with so many moving parts and possible strategies is pretty admirable. I’m not deep into the meta of competitive Pokémon though, so I feel there’s not much I can add to the conversation. If there’s one thing I can’t defend however, it’s this game’s connectivity features.

Starting from the DS era, Pokémon has had online features, but Sword and Shield marks the first time that the Global Trade Station, or GTS, has not been available. This means it’s impossible to put up a posting for a desired Pokémon, or fulfill other’s requests. This wouldn’t be so bad if the way to trade with friends wasn’t such a chore. Rather than being able to freely select a friend and initiate a trade or battle with them, players must enter four-digit codes and HOPE the game pairs them up. This is in every way a downgrade from the past several games. X and Y released over SIX years ago and solved this very issue with the Player Search System. Y-Comm, as it stands, is an awful replacement and there’s not one thing about it that other systems didn’t do better.

If you connect online, the game will have “stamps” appear that show you what friends are doing, alongside broadcasting trade or battle requests from random people, but often those requests are out of date, and trying to join in will result in error messages, the requests fulfilled long ago. Trying to join friends in Raid Battles is an exercise in trial and error, and if online in the Wild Area, other players constantly appear within it and as a result the game begins to chug along. What could have been a neat way to interact with other players across the world results in the game becoming worse to play, so I mostly left it off. Connecting with others has always been a franchise selling point, way back to the days of the Game Boy Link Cables. To see this game drop the ball so severely is worrying. I care about this far more than the graphical issues, far more than the National Dex, and it makes me hesitant to try out the next titles if they can’t solve these issues and KEEP them solved.

AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE

Pokémon Sword and Shield are not bad games; they’re in fact filled with charm and fun. I’ve logged over 80 hours into the game over the past few weeks and the hours flew by. There’s a lot of work that’s clearly been put into the game. The Pokémon designs and concepts this time around are really creative, for one. There’s the Applin line, dragons that hide in apples, and the abominations that are this game’s fossils; carelessly stitched together pieces of incompatible fossils resulting in a freak of nature. I love them. My heart goes out to Game Freak, because it’s clear people worked hard here, but this simply can’t be the game they wanted to make. I think Sword and Shield are turning points for the series, but it’s unclear if that’s a good thing or not.

For all the backlash and negativity surrounding these games, they’re still the fastest-selling Switch games ever. Many fans are pretty satisfied with the game as-is, and the real bitter pill disgruntled fans need to swallow is that…these games have no real reason to improve in quality. Think about it; sales aren’t down, and there’s not a true rival to these games anymore, so why would the hire-ups at Nintendo and The Pokémon Company give these games more time and resources? On top of this, remember that these games are only one part of the massive whole that is the Pokémon brand. Pokémon GO makes a frankly disgusting amount of money, the anime has been going strong for two decades, merch is in no short supply, and now we can likely add major Hollywood films to the list as well. If Game Freak was any other developer, behind any other franchise, they’d likely be able to delay the games to polish them up and add in content that would otherwise be cut, but they can’t do that when they MUST launch simultaneously with the anime, the card games, the merchandise, etc.

The series has been around for so long now as well, while many fans have likely moved on from the franchise, new ones are lining up to take their place. On top of that, there are Pokémon diehards that will likely always support the series. Pokémon is a constant for them; it’s almost like comfort food in game form. They’re not WRONG for feeling that way, and I’m kinda in that same boat. I knew going in that these games were going to be somewhat disappointing, but I still bought the thing! For all the rage directed at these games, many people still gave them their money, and I think the message has been read loud and clear: Pokémon can get away with cutting Pokémon, so it’s unlikely Game Freak will change course any time soon.

Now, of course, that’s one way to look at things. A negative way to be sure. It’s also possible that Game Freak can learn from issues they had with developing these games and push past them. As they get used to console development, to HD development, and get a better idea of what fans want, the next games might actually surpass all expectations. Pokémon as a franchise has always had feature creep to deal with, and Sword and Shield is clearly where it all boiled over. So maybe if they don’t have to worry about accommodating nearly 1000 critters in every single game, they can make larger strives towards higher quality. I don’t want to count them out, but at the same time, I won’t hold my breath either. I’ll always be open to what path this franchise takes, even if they stumble a bit to get there.

In the end, Sword and Shield feel more than a little rough, but there’s some real bright spots glimmering in what might be the franchise’s Darkest Day. The Pokémon themselves are still fun to use and capture, the characters and world of the games are still wholesome fun, and I’ll reiterate that pumping over 80 hours into this game didn’t feel like a chore and I was largely engaged for the entirety of that time. Here’s to hoping that brighter days lie ahead, and a few years from now we can look back at the Dexit controversy and laugh.

-B

[outroshooky]

love yourself world tour - newark, nj (9/29/2018)

Where do I even begin?

Last night was one of the most incredible nights of my life, and it didn’t sink in until I woke up this morning and my first thought was “I saw BTS yesterday”. They’re so real to me now- of course, you see them on interviews and you have their photocards and their bon voyage episodes, but it never really feels like they’re truly human until they’re standing in front of you in the middle of twenty thousand people, grinning from ear to ear. The joy radiated from all of their faces, and believe me when I say I'm not exaggerating that they glowed- in fact, they literally did! MELANIN. MEL-A-FUCKING-NIN, they’re so tan! It's so refreshing to see them not-whitewashed!

The energy on stage last night was insane. The Love Yourself concert was also my first ever concert- I don't get out much, haha- and I don't think I could have asked for a better show to take my concert virginity. The vibes and aura radiated from the crowd back to them and from them to us… seeing and hearing and being a part of the ARMY fanchant is an experience unto itself. When I first found my seat in the arena, the first thing I heard was a few thousand voices singing along to Save Me. Honestly, I almost started crying on the spot. Save Me has always had a special place in my heart as being the song that got me into BTS (along with me identifying with the song as a whole) and I had chills listening to it even from walking around in the lower levels on the way to finding my section. The atmosphere literally buzzed with excitement, but morphed into one of love as the night went on. It was written all over their faces just how much fun they were having… but more on all of these points later.

Pre-concert

I found @starlightaetae about an hour after I arrived at Prudential and we waited in line to take a picture together in front of the massive BTS world tour banner set up in the middle of the merch area. I think one of the most refreshing things about walking around before the concert was seeing all seven members equally represented by fans. So many Namjoon stans, and Jin stans too! A lot of people went to the Line store in NYC before arriving at Prudential, and as a result there were tons and tons of people with Bt21 merch, banners, and the like. I saw a girl walking around in a Koya onesie, and that was super cool!

I have never seen such diversity in the fan base as I have with ARMY. Young, old, gay, straight, black, white, tall, short, everything and everyone in between was there at yesterday’s concert. People I never would have guessed to be fans of BTS were walking around completely decked out in merchandise. While we were waiting in line, I saw a trio of sixty-plus women all wearing tour shirts- one of whom even painted her sneakers to say BTS! There was someone else wearing Hoseok’s iconic yellow sweatshirt/basketball jersey look, and they were wearing a wig dyed the color of his hair at the time!

Some of the most impactful moments of yesterday were standing in the middle of the merch area or on lines and watching all of the people mix and mingle around us. Everybody was introducing themselves, hyping each other up because it's BTS, and how can you not? To see all of these people come out, people I never would have guessed to be stans… it was really heartening. I realized just how many people these seven boys have touched, forgoing language and nationality and gender to reach out to people of all ages around the world. Everyone was a really good sport about things; I didn't hear a single complaint from anybody, even when for example the photobooth was closed. People were polite and respectful; some let us take pictures with their pickets, which had sold out by the time I’d gotten there. Overall, there was this energy that buoyed the thousands of us all crammed into the area around the stadium… it was infectious. Some dancers flash-mobbed an entrance and were dancing not only to BTS songs like Fake Love and Lie, but to other kpop songs. About a hundred people were clustered around them, singing along and cheering them on, and yet again I realized just how many people have been impacted by the boys. And then it sunk in that I was standing outside of the building where these same boys were and I lost my shit.

When I walked into the concert venue, my hands were trembling so bad that the usher couldn't scan my ticket for a few seconds because of the shaking barcode. Then it scanned; I was green lighted to go in and it all hit at once. The fanchant was filtering from up the escalator, the air was smoky with fake fog, my knees started shaking and I think at that point Nicole and I grabbed onto each other and cried a little bit because what else were we gonna do, I mean really. We held each other up for a good few minutes, especially when we stepped into a mezzanine section and got a look at the stage for the first time. I could see my upper level section (211!) from where we were standing, and my vertigo kicked in for a few seconds, and then excitement and nervousness took over (I think I should note here that I was actually so nervous that I didn't eat anything yesterday except for two slices of toast for breakfast. It sunk in during the car ride home that I hadn't eaten anything the entire day and then I was starving haha). Nicole and I went our separate ways here, and we waited about an hour and a half from then until the concert started. In the meantime, we waved our ARMY bombs and found each other across the arena (which was fun since it was mostly empty at the time) and just took it all in. The screens were playing BTS music videos, and I don't think I'll ever forget the sound of several thousand people singing Spring Day as one collective voice. Hearing people’s screams when Boy Meets Evil, Blood Sweat and Tears, and I Need U came on gave me chills.

The two seats next to me were empty, so I had relatively free space to move around, except I managed to dump my water bottle all over my drawstring bag and everything inside of it in the first ten minutes of the show… rip my program book, which is still drying out on the kitchen counter. I did manage to grab an extra Magic Shop sign though since mine was ripped and sopping wet. As the minutes ticked down, the energy in the arena grew even more frenzied, with the entire crowd (and forming ARMY bomb ocean!) screaming and bopping along to the Mic Drop music video. At 6:00pm, the lights shut off and Fake Love played, with the entire audience lit up only by light sticks screaming the lyrics. When the intro VCR started playing, I could see part of the stage open up from where I was sitting and I realized I could see the top of Namjoon’s head as they knelt on the platform. That was fucking surreal. Then the VCR ended, the lights shut off, the opening chords of Idol rang through the arena, and the platform raised up.

IDOL

From where I was sitting, it was difficult to see the individual members when they were on the main stage, but that didn't stop me from screaming my head off when Namjoon appeared on the big screen, looked dead into the camera, and said “You can call me artist, you can call me idol!” At this point, I was so overcome with shock that I don't think I actually waved my ARMY bomb for the first thirty seconds of the song. I just stood there attempting to collect my jaw from the floor because holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck it was them. I remember screaming when Yoongi did his little kick and they did that iconic challenge move. It was so freaking surreal, and sounded so identical to the recorded track that I forgot I was listening to them live. Jimin made my heart stop during Idol; the amount of power and precision in his movements was stunning, and it continued to awe me as the night went on. As each of the members came on the screens, it became real that this was them, and they were actually in front of me, and I kept counting to seven because I could not believe that this was actually them. Idol is enrapturing to see live, and I realized that although you can watch their choreographies online and during interviews and shows, you can never truly understand the feeling until you see one live. It takes your breath away, it really does- especially during high intensity songs like the first three they played. Idol was over faster than it had began, and they took the in between time to introduce themselves properly.

Introductions - between Idol and Save Me

When Idol finished, the camera panned among all of the members (who I was glad to see were sipping water as they were talking to us), and we got a look at all seven together for the first time. Namjoon looked into the camera first and beamed. It switched to Taehyung next, who was looking from section to section and grinning his signature boxy smile. He introduced the group with “Hey guys!” and we all pretty much lost our minds. After Tae introduced himself, Yoongi was next and while casually adjusting his earpieces one by one, coyly cupped his hand around his ear and egged us on to scream louder for him. The entire arena erupted for Seokjin, who blew us a kiss (and we hollered even louder). Jungkook scratched his head and flashed a bunny smile with a wave and a “nice to meet you guys!” When Jimin came onscreen, the audience exploded, and his stage persona faded to this shy smile and a wave. And of course, we couldn't forget about Hoseok, who we fawned over with “I’m your hope, you’re my hope, I’m j...!”, letting the audience scream “HOPE!” Seeing all of the boys during their introductions, as small figures on a massive stage yet with their faces filling two giant screens, was freaking incredible. Them! The seven boys we love and adore, introducing themselves to tens of thousands of fans. Their genuine reactions to our cheers made it all the better.

Save Me/I’m Fine

Okay, so I'm not going to lie, Save Me and I’m Fine I have a very personal connection to. Not only was it the song that got me into BTS, but Save Me was the anthem that summed me up best when I found Bangtan- I was falling apart at the seams; the person I relied on for validation and self-confidence was drifting away from me, and I was losing touch of both of us in the mess. Save Me was my anthem at the time- I needed that person’s hand before I fell, except that hand never came, and I fell hard. When I found out LY: Answer would feature a DnB (drum and bass) track, I was beside myself with excitement (DnB is my favorite genre of EDM), and then when I found out that that same track would be the sequel to Save Me… I was in Europe at the time Answer came out, and I'm Fine was the first song I listened to from the album. I was trying desperately to stream it off of international data while we were driving from Germany to Austria, and when the drop came, I actually burst into tears.

These songs are my story, how I turned Save Me into I’m Fine, and it's because of these seven boys that I was rebuilt and actually focused on myself for once like I deserved to. I thought of so many other people that I forgot what it was like to know myself, and I realized that I can't rely on them one hundred percent. At the end of the day, I only have myself. With all of this in mind, when I saw Jimin walk up the stage while singing the opening line of Save Me, I burst into tears. I actually don't remember the performance- thank god I recorded it- because my vision was completely blurry and filled with tears. The fanchant to Save Me was awesome to hear, as well as us singing the lyrics even louder than they were. Seokjin and Taehyung were so powerful during the live version of Save Me, especially when it was them alone on the stage singing. The entire arena yelled “hey, hope world!” during I’m Fine. Yoongi’s rap cleared my skin, raised my chemistry grades, did my laundry and ran me over with a semi. Holy fucking shit, the entire rap line decimated us all in the first ten minutes, and we hadn’t even gotten to Outro: Tear yet. Save Me/I’m Fine were the most emotional songs of the night for me by far.

ARMY Time

Skip this section if you’d like to be surprised by the song they perform during ARMY time, which came about fifteen minutes into the show.

When we arrived at the venue, each seat had a black banner with a flower design on it hung over the armrest. Hangul was written above and below “magic shop”, and according to the back of the banner, the whole phrase translated to “ARMYS are the flowers that grew in your magic shop”. Needless to say, the boys performed Magic Shop, and to hear tens of thousands of people singing “I’ll show you!” so sweetly back to them was really something else. There was no choreography, just them walking around the stage singing to us, and it felt truly intimate, just us and them in our own little world, created by the people in the same room, united by the same love. They are my magic shop, and we are theirs too. Taehyung and Seokjin again stood out here and showcased their vocal talent- the entire vocal line as a whole touched me deeply. When the cameras panned to show an endless row of signs in the audience, it brought it all together, and I felt connected not only to the boys but to every person around me. It was a moving performance, and certainly a magical moment, with the audience and their signs illuminated by the lights of the ARMY bombs and spotlights.

-VCR 1-

Trivia: Just Dance

All of the trivias blew me away, and each in their own special way. Just Dance was the most energizing performance of the night; it was by far the most impressive live solo dance I have ever seen. Hoseok owns the stage; he was born to be up there, and he stole my heart throughout the entire show, but he did the most during his Trivia. He makes it all look so easy; he interacts with the audience with this natural smile on his face that radiates joy. Our ARMY bombs lit up rainbow and the stage glowed purple, which was a gorgeous backdrop since he was wearing all white. I will never hear the first drop of Just Dance the same way again after the insane choreography that Hobi performed. He was flawless and fluid and natural being up there in front of us, dropping into a one legged split and popping back up like it was nothing. He is beyond charismatic and a literal ray of fucking sunshine, especially when he’s dancing and rapping at the same time. Both make him so happy, and that is written all over his face when he performs.

Around halfway through the song, backup dancers ran up onto the stage seemingly from out of nowhere (they ran up stairs in the pit) and Hoseok actually leapt over them while rapping. Even though he’s a single person in the middle of tens of thousands, your eyes naturally gravitated to him- he explodes with energy and passion and power like no other member of the group. He brings his own talent to the stage and awes us, whether it’s rapping or dancing or singing or even just hyping up the crowd. He really does make Just Dance look easy, even when he’s dropping down practically into a split thirty feet in the air on a raised platform.

Long story short, I love Jung Hoseok. Period.

Euphoria

Jungkook awed me during Euphoria most particularly with his vocals. He, much like Hoseok, was born to perform; between his voice and stage presence and impeccably smooth dancing, the best word to sum it all up is fluid. Euphoria is Jungkook’s song; it felt like he was speaking to us when we collectively sang “You are the cause of my euphoria/when I'm with you I'm in utopia”. I loved the lights (with ARMY bombs glowing bright blue!) and backup dancers in plain black. They were little details that didn’t detract from the whole, but rather drew your attention to the main stage and how utterly talented Jungkook is. Euphoria really is his song.

I Need U

The version of I Need U they played at the concert was a rock version that I actually enjoyed more in a live setting than the original song. Yoongi pointed his mic towards the audience for his intro rap part and let us cover it- with some mixed results (we sorta slurred some parts, but we tried)- but he nodded along with us as we sang. He was proud of us. Rather than doing the choreography, the boys stood on stage and listened to the arena sing. The smiles on their faces said it all. We screamed for Jin when he sang his verses, and you could see the visible change in his demeanor when he heard us. Namjoon and Taehyung faced my section for the final chorus, and Yoongi’s little shouts of “I NEED YOU” made I Need U one of my favorite memories from the night by far.

Run

Run was an absolute blast; I honestly can’t tell you who was more hyped, the audience or the boys. When the first drop came, they doused the fans at the barrier with whole bottles of water, which was really fun to see from up above. I don’t listen to Run on the daily, but last night’s performance changed that. It was energetic and explosive, and the whole arena was electrified.

-VCR 2-

Serendipity

Holy shit.

Just holy fucking shit.

Park Jimin.

Serendipity was another of my favorite performances from the night. I chose not to watch the choreography before I saw it live, and that combined with Jimin’s stage presence solidified Serendipity as my favorite intro. It’s such a beautiful, passionately sung song, and as much as Euphoria fits Jungkook, Serendipity fits Jimin. Onstage, Jimin oozes unadulterated charisma and pure sex appeal. You’re almost forced to watch; he is one hundred percent breathtaking, even if he’s simply walking up the stage. Serendipity live is the perfect mix of sweet and sensual, tender and heartfelt lyrics paired with elegant and sultry dance moves. Speaking of sultry dance moves, I was not expecting him to pull up his shirt for a few seconds, and neither was anybody else judging by the screams that elicited from the audience. He grinned for the quickest of moments after hearing us holler for him, and one of my favorite moments of the night actually happened at the end of the song. Jimin faced the camera and sang “Let me love…”, but a smile broke over his face- a real, genuine smile- and he said in the softest, shyest voice, “...love... you.” The screen went black and the arena erupted in cheers. Even in the last fifteen seconds of his performance, you could see Jimin fighting back the urge to smile, and that really made it so special.

Comparing the Jimin from the WINGS tour to the Jimin that we saw last night is like comparing two different people. Watching Burn The Stage, it was clear that he was struggling at the time, both with self love and perfectionism. Last night was like watching a bird freed from his cage. Jimin was comfortable in his own skin. He was happy. He’s learned how to love himself, and seeing the crowd’s reaction to his performance was enough for him to know he’d done well. That final smile and those nearly-whispered words- “love… you…”- said everything he hadn’t.

I love you, Jimin. I’m so proud of you.

Trivia: Love

I made it a point to scream for Namjoon during his solo song, and he got the loudest shouts of the night for any trivia during this performance. Namjoon’s stage presence is something that can only be described when you’re standing there watching him rap, engaging tens of thousands of people who are chanting the lyrics with him as he sings. You could see his pride and confidence build as the song (and concert as a whole!) went on. Love was absolutely engaging and riveting; Joon is a natural up on stage in his element, he was born to rap like this. Seeing Namjoon’s progression from Burn The Stage to last night was sort of like witnessing Jimin’s growth; he found his confidence with Love and made us all his bitch in the process. I fell even more in love with Joon during Love and fell in love with the vibes he gave off- poised, intelligent, intellectual, engaging. Oh, and did I mention he flipped his jacket off and gave us a shoulder tease?

DNA

The boys performed the choreography of DNA on the diamond stage, and although it was difficult for me to see for the most part, I could focus on the general mood of the audience a little more. We were all into it; it was definitely one of the most action-packed dances of the night since they performed it out in the middle of GA. DNA is definitely a crowd pleaser; we devotedly screamed for all of the boys, especially the second verse that’s pure rap line. It was so awesome to see something so iconic be performed right in front of our eyes.

Boyz with Fun/Attack on Bangtan/Fire/Baepsae/Dope

This mashup was explosive onstage and I think this was one of the most fiery performances of the night. Not only was hearing Jungkook rap live so cool, but seeing them go back to their hip-hop roots- and the roots of one of my favorite albums, Young Forever- was a great nod to their earlier music. The transition between Attack on Bangtan and Fire punted me into a level of Dante’s Inferno, and I was subsequently resurrected by the goddamn ferocity of Namseok’s hip thrusts during Baepsae. The rap line brought the fucking house down during Baepsae, and I think sexiest dance of the night would go to Namseok- Namjoon, for his handless, aggressive hip thrusting, and Hoseok for the thrusting he did while in a squat-crouch low to the ground. Dope was also incredible to see live; our ARMY bombs flashed red and the audience was electrified the most during Dope and Baepsae live. I’m not a big fan of Fire or Dope, but they’re back on my daily playlist after last night.

Airplane Part 2

This song was- oh my god.

Nicole and I are two of the biggest Airplane Part 2 stans you will ever meet, and last night’s performance of it destroyed our biases like nothing else.

The crowd screamed so loud when the chair appeared onstage. I’m pretty sure I actually went temporarily deaf at this point, because there was a ringing in my ears that definitely hadn’t been there earlier.

The boys were absolutely beaming throughout the whole thing. The first verse and bridge where Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, Namjoon, and Seokjin are passing the mic back and forth, they were grinning from ear to ear when the transitions happened. Just as Jimin passed the mic to Taehyung, he raised his eyebrows and gave us a little grin. Taehyung was smiling like the goddamn sun during his lines, and we screamed Namjoon’s rap along with him. Jimin is so goddamn powerful, and Jungkook’s little smirk when he sang the second half of the chorus was adorable. Jin even winked at the camera once or twice. You could tell they were having fun and legitimately enjoying themselves.

Jungkook’s high notes in Airplane Part 2 made the song, as did Sope’s verses. It was the most captivating performance of Airplane Part 2 I have ever seen. You can watch performance after performance online, but nothing, nothing tops seeing that song live.

-VCR 3-

Singularity

“I DIED DURING THUS SONG DIDOS OH MY GOD MY MANS WENT FOR IT WITH THEM MASKS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOF” - @starlightaetae

Nicole sums it up as best as possible. Singularity was one of the most riveting performances of the night. Personally, I don’t listen to Singularity very often, but Taehyung’s performance last night made me fall in love with it. His voice was like silk; Singularity is his baby and it made us his bitch. I loved how the mannequin was brought out and the masks (just like in the video!) had such an awesome effect on the whole thing, especially when Tae put one on himself. He gave this cocky little smirk to the camera before putting it on, and I’m pretty sure Nicole hasn’t been the same since. (“No, I haven’t been the same since!” - @starlightaetae)

I actually preferred the live version of Singularity to the recording simply because of the vibes this version gave off. I didn’t like the music video; for me it was too overwhelming, and a little too strange for my liking, but the live performance was completely enthralling. Taehyung commanding the stage during his intro was different to his previous appearances; you could tell that he was in his element here, and that was so freaking cool to see. I love how between Stigma and Singularity, Taehyung has found his sound, and he’s completely relaxed (and undeniably sexy) when he takes the stage alone.

Fake Love

From where I was sitting, I was able to see the boys line up before the main lights came on, and I pretty much lost my shit. Fake Love is one of my favorite songs, and it’s yet another song that you can see performance after performance of online, but there is nothing as captivating as the live performance. It’s also one of my favorite choreographies and I think the most emotion-filled out of all of their choreos.

Last night, the boys performed the Rocking Vibe mix of Fake Love, which was super cool to see live! I really liked how all of their larger hit songs were played as a rock mix version with drums and guitars, and Fake Love was my favorite rock remix. The crowd was beyond hyped for this song. I get chills whenever I rewatch the recording and listen to the fanchant; I’m pretty sure we sang and rapped almost every line. The crowd screamed when Hoseok and Jungkook did their mirror move and when the other six did their sort of marionette dance around Jimin. Seokjin got so much screen time and love from the audience! The loudest yells of the night were caused by Jungkook’s dual ab teases, and he gave this little cocky smirk after each one. The camera actually zoomed in on his second ab tease, thereby decimating tens of thousands of people in the blink of an eye. After the second ab tease, the camera cut to Jimin, and you could see him smirking too at our screams. Seokjin really went hard dance-wise during Fake Love; I’m so proud of him for how far he’s come with his dancing ability! He was incredible last night, and Fake Love all around was an insane performance- definitely one of the best of the night.

-VCR 4-

Trivia: Seesaw

Min Yoongi.

Min.

Fucking.

Yoongi.

Trivia: Seesaw has shamelessly been my favorite trivia off of LY: Answer since the album came out. I have such an emotional connection to this song; I can relate to it in so many different ways and seeing it live almost reduced me to tears. Yoongi is completely breathtaking when he’s alone. He makes the smallest movements look effortless; he commands that you look at and listen to him, and the entire crowd sang the chorus of Seesaw with him. I loved the backup dancers and the choreography, the constant references to that balance and imbalance. He slid down a bench in the middle of the stage and then ran up it in the middle of the second verse! He was so engaging and you could tell he was loving the attention from the crowd. During the last chorus, he pointed the mic at us and let us sing. You could see the smile on his face grow as he heard us, and he looked out as he sang, trying to make eye contact with every section.

I’m so in love with both this song and Min Yoongi. Nicole can attest to the fact that I’ve spent the last day in complete awe that he was right in front of me. I see so much of myself in him; to see his gummy smile beam from right there at us was the best damn thing I could have ever asked for.

Love you, Yoongs. You have no idea how much you mean to me.

Epiphany

Nothing I produce from my mere mortal fingers on a keyboard can accurately describe the impact of hearing Seokjin perform Epiphany. It was the most emotional performance of the night second only to The Truth Untold, which was performed literally directly after Epiphany.

When we realized Epiphany was next, we began chanting Jin’s name. I will never forget the sound of tens of thousands chanting “KIM SEOKJIN! KIM SEOKJIN!” and cheering when that single spotlight shone on him sitting at the piano. We did that for no other member, and I was so proud and happy to see the love and support that we showed Jin last night. You could hear the audience quietly singing along, and the sheer amount of power in everyone raising their voices to sing “I’m the one I should love in this world” as one driving force is something I will never forget. There were two moments when Jin looked directly into the camera, and it felt like time stopped. What felt like minutes at the show, as I’m rewatching the videos, was only seconds… It’s so hard to believe. The screams and cheers for him echoed throughout the whole arena… We yelled like that for no one else. It made me so, so joyful.

Although it didn’t show much in his face at first, his body language and the immense amount of effort he put into his performance said it all. Jin went hard. I’ve never seen him go that hard, ever. He put so much passion into his singing and he made it clear how he feels… Epiphany was one of the most moving performances of the entire show. I’ll never forget him nor the sheer beauty of it all.

Towards the end of Epiphany, Jin walked up on the main stage and turned his back to us, his profile completely illuminated by white light. We chanted his name again and when he hit those high notes, we fucking hollered. Kim Seokjin deserved every single bit of the cheers we gave him last night, ten times over.

Thank you, Jin. I love you.

The Truth Untold

As the final notes of Epiphany finished, the rest of the vocal line joined Seokjin on the raised platform to sing The Truth Untold. It was at this point in the show that I almost started crying for the fourth time, and I’m pretty sure the boys may have been crying too. You could see them looking out at us, taking it all in, listening to our screams that died into us singing along with them. Each of the four screens onstage showed a different member, and watching all four of them react at the same time made my eyes well up. I have chills every time I hear “but I still want you…” as we sang it along with them.

Seokjin, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are so, so fucking talented. They work so hard and they made last night’s performance of The Truth Untold something truly special. I will never hear the song the same way again, with thousands of voices singing the same line:

“...but I still want you…”

Outro: Tear

I had fucking whiplash from how fast these boys turned from soft, sentimental, and heartfelt vocals to hard-ass aggressive rap with a bite. Outro: Tear was wild. To sum it up according to Nicole, “It was the littest moment of my life.”

The entire stage and all of our ARMY bombs were lit neon green, plus fire shot up from the main stage during the chorus. I’m not gonna lie when I say Yoongi’s live verse of Tear was one of the hottest things I’ve ever witnessed, especially him singing/chanting those lower parts. Everyone was so hyped for the rap line; there was never a better day to be a rap line hoe. We screamed along with them as they belted out the chorus, especially the lower parts I mentioned before. Hoseok went hard; hell every member did. Namjoon in those shades wrecked my bias like none other.

You can listen to Outro: Tear and hear the power and emotion the rap line sinks into this song, but nothing will ever compare to seeing them take the stage and perform it. They’re in their element when they’re performing Tear; it was unlike any other performance during the night. It was raw, unbridled energy and release.

It was a good day to be a rap line hoe, y’all.

Mic Drop

Mic Drop. Mic Drop.

Mic Drop. That is all.

This song was my favorite group performance of the entire show. It was their last before the intermission, and I wish I’d recorded it because holy shit this performance blew the music video version out of the fucking water.

They performed the original Mic Drop with about a thirty second dance break towards the end, and I'll have you know that said dance break left me in a smoldering pile of ash because seeing seven guys at the forefront of a huge group of backup dancers all body rolling as one whole was hot as hell.

What was awesome was seeing how the crowd reacted to Mic Drop, and I think it was definitely the loudest performance of the night. We fed off of each other’s energy; the crowd was electrified and so were the boys. Our ARMY bombs lit up bright red and it was really a sight to see all around. I’ve never felt more in tune with an audience and a song; to hear everyone around me screaming the backing vocals and doing Seokjin’s little arm wave when he’s in the front during the choreography with tens of thousands of people was something else. It was the most explosive way to end the first part of the show, and certainly the most impressive.

I didn’t listen to Mic Drop regularly for most of this year, but I did when I first started listening to BTS, and I fell in love with Steve Aoki’s remix all over again when it came out on LY: Answer. Between that and their live performance, I’ll have Mic Drop on repeat for god knows how many years now.

Intermission

So What

I didn’t listen to So What actually until the Love Yourself World Tour started and I saw a video of Jungkook doing the chute dance down the middle of the stage. I was having really bad anxiety at the time, and that video was the only thing to make me laugh that night. Ever since I’ve seen the various clips of him doing the dance, it’s made me think of the song completely differently, and last night was no exception.

It was so much fun to see every member completely bopping to So What. The boys were all running around the stage hyping us up, and that first drop was completely unforgettable. White confetti exploded from the stage and rained down on the crowd. It was so much fun, and you could tell that they were also enjoying themselves to no end. It was us and them and singing and dancing simply for the love of music and being together… It was one of my favorite moments from the night, especially seeing Jungkook go insane. I love his headass so much.

Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook did the chute dance right down from the main stage to the diamond, and I have never loved any of them more than I did in that moment. To see Namjoon rapping behind them (looking mildly disappointed) and Jin/Jimin/Jungkook laughing and having the time of their lives was one thing I’ll never forget. Plus, Taehyung and Seokjin flirting with each other and the camera was so damn adorable. So What has such a larger meaning for me now that I’ve seen it live; it has concert vibes written all over it and I'll always remember hearing Jimin and Jungkook’s higher vocals cut through near the end of the song. So What holds so much excitement for me now, and I really hope they do it at every concert in the future, because it was truly unforgettable.

Anpanman

The live performance of Anpanman was fucking incredible.

I actually am not a huge fan of the song; I don’t like the opening line and as a result I’ve never been able to enjoy listening to the full thing. However, the live version changed my mind. The boys practically exploded with excitement when it came on, and the crowd got so hyped. I loved the cartoons that displayed on the screens during the performance, and how excited Yoongi and Hoseok got rapping this song. I loved how the audience screamed along with “super car like Batman!”and “ballin’, ballin’, still Bangtan!”. Jimin in particular looked so happy singing this song. Also, I may or may not have yelled “YOU ARE” when Yoongi rapped “I can be your hero!”

Taehyung and Jungkook hugging while singing “waiting for you Anpanman” was so fucking cute. There are so many good memories and vibes associated with Anpanman now; this is another song that has a whole different meaning for me after seeing it live, and I’ll always remember how happy it made them- and us.

Answer: Love Myself and Goodbyes

Before they sang Answer: Love Myself, the boys said their goodbyes, and their ending speeches were so touching. They had a translator on hand when the boys switched to Korean, and Jin in particular said he never wanted to get rid of the feeling he had at that moment, it was just so good. Jungkook talked about how we are his energy and no matter how many shows they do, we always make him so happy. I realized during the ending speeches just how much love BTS has for us. They love us more than anything, they really do. You see it in their eyes when they look out at the crowd, trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible to take it all in. I looked at Jimin and Namjoon, who faced my section as they were saying their goodbyes, and it was unreal to see two men I hold in the highest esteem possible looking back up at me. We are so privileged to have each other, and they deserve all of the love in the world.

I will never, ever forget hearing an arena of thousands sing “You show me I have reasons I should love myself” collectively as one. You could see it written all over the boys’ faces just how much they were affected. Most importantly, last night I saw an emotion that I didn’t see much in their previous world tour clips (before LY), but was prominent in every performance of the show.

Happiness.

These boys are happy. So, so happy. They’re learning to love themselves, and they’re proud of us for doing the same.

They didn’t want to get off stage last night, lingering as long as possible to say goodbye. Taehyung and Jungkook were the most reluctant to go, Taehyung being the last one off stage, and Jungkook taking one last look into the camera, winking, and dumping his entire bottle of Fuji water all over his head before dashing into the wings.

After the show ended and the lights came back on, I sat on the upper level with my head in my hands just staring at the stage. An ARMY below me took one look as she was leaving and said “Just so you know, you’re my entire mood right now.”

I replied, “What am I going to do with my life?”

She shrugged and said “Wait until their next world tour.”

I have on video that as Jungkook was saying his goodbyes, he said he’d see us back here next year.

Hey, Jeon?

I’m holding you to that.