#writtenthanerased

[vankoya]

bunny

Sorry, the word bunny isn’t in any of my WIPs!!

Send me a word! If it is in my WIP, I will answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in!

[moodboards-for-fun]

Infj moodboard for @writtenthanerased. As a fellow infj, this was super fun to make! Hope you like it, and let me know if you need anything changed!

[kpopfanfictrash]

writtenthanerased said about Winged: I'm usually not a fan of angel!aus, but this fic changed that. Amazing read, I love your attention to detail with chronicling Jimin's change and the dynamic between the characters!

@writtenthanerased THANK YOU SO MUCH! This made me so happy to read, honestly <3 I love when people take a chance on new AU’s and the fact that you did with mine means the world. Thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day/night <3

joonmonjagi said about Winged: I love your construction of this! The angel au and especially the entire act of having to teach Jimin what to do. I do have a question though. After all his feathers change color, will he just remain fallen or will he die? I got the impression he would die when she said she didn't want him to hurt, but I don't know if angels have ever been said to die.

@joonmonjagi Ah, I’m so happy you enjoyed it!! To answer your question, he won’t die in the human sense of the word. In this AU, Angels are long-lived and Jimin cannot die but he can fall from grace which, to an Angel, is much the same thing. His life as an Angel will come to an end and he’ll be banished to Earth, unable to see his brothers/sisters or fulfill his purpose. It will eat away at him until he’s able to redeem himself in some fashion and rise again. That’s what Y/N meant, not wanting him to be hurt in the long run but Jimin deems this sacrifice to be worth it for her. 

[kishidanchou]

hey! as a fellow digital artist, i just wanted to say that your art style is one of the best i've seen on tumblr. your work is incredible! keep drawing and sharing your art with us; it's a privilege for me to see your art (and you!) grow!

hello! thank you so so much, wow i can’t put into words how much your message affected me, it really means a lot to hear that!! i’m glad you enjoy my work, i’ll keep doing my best to have fun and improve!! you gave me strength to keep doing what i love! ☺️💗

[outroshooky]

“You gaze at him, the softness that has settled properly into his face. You feel it bubbling up in your throat, thumping through your veins. You gaze at Hoseok’s outstretched hand, at the snake’s tail that curls around his wrist, and you think about everything that you have tried so hard to fight, to run away from.

You grasp Hoseok’s hand and stand up.”

Some fanart for @joonbird and her series Heartbeat! If you haven’t taken a look at it, it’s an utterly fantastic series, and you need to go read it asap. Amy’s writing draws the reader in, makes them feel as though they really are going through the internal struggles of the narrator, and the execution of the dynamic between Taehyung and the narrator and Hoseok is to die for. The smut is an added bonus. Bathtub sex? Bathtub sex.

Thank you so much for your fics, Amy. They’re truly a gift to us readers. 

[vankoya]

I wish you would write a fic where Jeongguk learns to ice skate, as taught by Jimin and reader. There may or may not be alcohol involved.

Even though there wasn’t any alcohol involved, this reminded me of the cute scene in the latest chapter of New Rules by @tayegi where the reader teaches Jeongguk how to ice skate!! 🤧💘

I wish you would write a fic where…

[thelibraryofbts]

I'd like to recommend Breakfast in Bed by joonbird and "I still remember the way you taste" by myself. Thank you!

Fic Rec: Breakfast in Bed by @joonbird​

Min Yoongi / Reader | Oneshot | Ikea AU | Smut / Fluff / Humour

Min Yoongi, a grumpy Ikea employee, is wondering who you are and why exactly you’re sleeping in the display bed at his Ikea.

Fic Rec: I Still Remember the Way You Taste by @writtenthanerased​

Min Yoongi / Reader | Oneshot | Post-breakup AU | Angst

I gotta say, for being apart for eight months and counting, you still know how to sneak up on me and give me a goddamn heart attack.

[yminie]

Hey there yminie! I wanted to say how much I enjoy your writing, especially Ink Petals. You so perfectly captured Yoongi's personality, and every reaction felt so real. The poly!bts series is also incredibly gripping, and I especially enjoyed Part IV with Jungkook. Thank you for posting your fics, you're an inspiration for me to better my own writing!

😭😭😭😭It really means a lot whenever I hear that I’m inspiring people to write their own things because I never saw myself being that great or influential so thank you so much!! Love you 💗💗 and I’m so happy you enjoyed those fics 😁

[outroshooky]

apocrypha | jjk

⇢ genre: drabble (angst, fluff)

⇢ pairing: jeon jeongguk x android!reader

⇢ word count: 771

⇢ prompt: postapocalyptic!au

Primary log, 2276-11-13, 18:56:03

Click. Click.

Light.

The viewscreen was blurry at first, fifty-two years of grime and debris smearing itself across the glass, the dust settling into the cracks and crevices between the delicate lenses. A single black line ran from the bottom left corner of the display to the middle, spidering halfway across the field of vision. The fragile lids that covered your eyes, once soft and whole, tore with the motion of opening, and scraps of silicon tumbled to nothingness down the framework of your peeling neck. Fingers stretched, toes curled, skin ripped away to reveal colored wires, once neatly paired and ordered, now fraying to dip over and under skeletal curves. Cool air slipped its way into places it was never supposed to be, and you could feel the infinite specks of fine dust settle and begin to eat away at titanium plating.

It took a second to calibrate with that infernally slow processing center, but the internal timekeeping systems locked into place, the platelets of your face snapped to protect the vulnerable mechanical parts below, and for the first time in such a long, long time, you felt yourself stir.

That’s when the room came into focus, and you saw him.

Black hair, black mask, black eyes. Everything so black against the contrast of his pale skin and the glint of silver dotting his earlobe. His eyes widened when they met yours, and his arm reached toward your face.

So you did the only logical thing, having reverted back to factory default mode.

You outstretched your arms to throttle him and promptly short-circuited.

“Shit shit shit, oh come on! I spent too much fucking time on you for you to fall apart now-”

You seized, display white, joints locking. You could hear him still, but his shouted words garbled in your head, and everything went black.

“Motherfucker!”

Secondary log, 2276-11-13, 19:34:21

“So that was it, huh? I got thirty seconds out of you and you’re kaput? Jesus, they don’t make them like they used to.” Jeongguk hooked two slender fingers over the top of his surgical mask and pulled it down to his chin, resettling himself on the banged-up bucket he liked to call a functioning stool. Spare parts were hard to come by these days, and he wasn’t about to tear down the bunker walls for the sake of his own comfort. Enough of the place had already been stripped just trying to survive, much less indulge in a foreign concept like being comfortable.

He propped himself up on one elbow, gazing up at your mass of parts with the head lopsided, perched atop the pile like a trophy. “All I wanted was some company for once, and of course, I can’t even get that.” He rolled his eyes, refocusing on your face, dark pupils piercing under long lashes. “I wonder if you can hear me right now.”

Silence.

“What a lively audience you are,” He muttered with a sigh. “My pet project for a year and a half, and you sputter to life for thirty seconds and conk out. I think you owe it to me to listen for two minutes.” Something clanked in the background, and he jerked. “Did your fingers just twitch? No. The wires are too frayed. Damn it- Nabi!” He craned his neck, shouting over his shoulder. “Get out of the cabinets! Anyways.” He scooted closer, drawing the bucket underneath him and resting both elbows on his knees, chin in his hands. He peered up at you under tousled locks of dark hair, blinking wide eyed like a baby bird. “I figured I should introduce myself, considering we’ve really just met, even though I’ve known you for such a long time. I’m Jeon Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk paused awkwardly. “And frankly, I don’t know your name, but I’ve taken to calling you Unit.” He drummed his fingers against the side of his cheeks, gaunt with malnutrition. “And you know what, Unit? You and I have more in common than you think.” He sat up, hands folding in his lap like a well-mannered schoolboy’s, shuffling his feet. “We’re the last ones left. It’s just you and I now, here, in this bunker. And I’m gonna get you working again, promise. See?” His index finger traced an x over his chest, and he squared his shoulders. “We’re the last ones left, and we need to protect each other.” His lips twisted into a grin- a real, genuine smile with perhaps a little bit of hope. He reached toward your chest, finger tracing the titanium sternum. “Promise.”

[outroshooky]

smoke filled room | pjm

⇢ genre: series (fluff, implied smut)

⇢ pairing: park jimin x reader

⇢ word count: 2.5k

⇢ warnings: drinking, swearing, smut, mild fluff.

this work is based on the song smoke filled room by mako. listen here.

You had no idea why you let your friends drag you out to a tiny little club on the other side of the city. It was loud and chaotic, full of grinding bodies and flashing lights. You could feel the bass pound against the bar counter, which was where you were currently leaning, wishing you could sink into the floor. You hated parties, bars, loud noises, and all of the above. Not necessarily in that order.

Your phone lit up with a text, showing 11:53pm. Anything past 11 was late by your standards, and that was probably the main contributor to your throbbing headache.

Your friend was two barstools down, chatting up tall, dark, and handsome from around town. Both of them were definitely on their second and third beers respectively; it showed through the careless touches and slurred speech. You shook your head. This definitely wasn't your scene.

You stepped out of the crowded hallway under flashing lights, instantly inhaling cool air. The block was empty save a couple walking on the far side and a woman smoking against the brick wall twenty feet down. You took in her fishnets, high heels, and ponytail. This definitely, definitely wasn't your scene.

You took a seat on the curb, pulling out your phone to get a car home. Behind you, the club door opened, and something whacked you in the back of the head. "Shit!"

Something hit the sidewalk behind you, and you turned around to see a tall, purple-haired man spread-eagled on the pavement, two slender guys standing behind him and laughing their asses off.

"Namjoon, you klutz! You hit her with your backpack!"

"Ah, Jesus." The guy on the pavement stood, cheeks reddening. "Sorry about that."

You cracked a smile, standing to pick up his backpack and hand it to him. "No problem. Do you tend to drop this on the regular?"

"Yeah. I'm kind of clumsy." He scratched the back of his neck, taking the bag from you. "Thanks. How'd you end up at The Jackal? No offense, but-" he surveyed your outfit. "You don't really look like Jackal material."

You had to laugh. "Well, you see, that's because I'm not. My friends dragged me here because I didn't have anything to do for once on a Saturday night."

He nodded, sticking out his hand. "I'm Namjoon." He gestured at the darker-haired man, "That's Jin-" and the blonde "-and that's Jimin."

You shook his hand. He had a firm handshake. "Nice to meet you."

He'd seen you from across the club, but was too nervous to go over and say anything. He took another shot of whiskey, feeling the burn ignite in his throat.

Jin leaned against the wall next to him. "You should go talk to her, Jimin. She's cute."

He shook his head, tipping back the glass to get the last drops. "Look at her body language. She doesn't want to be here, and I don't want to come off as creepy."

"You already come off as creepy, so it shouldn't be a problem," Namjoon teased.

Jimin rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

Jin tapped his arm. "Hey, dongsaeng. She's leaving."

"So, what're you guys doing at a place like this?" The trio was keeping you company on the curb while you waited for an Uber to arrive, Jimin insisting it was because they didn't want anyone trying to take advantage of you while you were alone. You brushed it off, but were inwardly thankful they stayed.

Namjoon took his glasses off, wiping the lenses clean on his jacket sleeve. "Well, actually, our friend was playing the stage tonight, so we came along to see if he'd be any good."

"For the record, he wasn't on his game," Jin chimed in. "He's holding back because it's a small club. Much more personal than being on a larger stage."

"Larger stage?"

"Yeah, he's a rapper. Or rather, he likes to rap. It doesn't mean he's necessarily good at it, though." All four of you laughed.

"Do any of you rap too?"

Namjoon raised his hand. "Just on the odd occasion. It's a side hobby. Not that I'm any good at it either."

Jimin smacked his friend's arm. "Shut up, you're damn good." He looked at you and smiled, dimples showing. "He's just trying to be humble."

You made a mental note that Jimin was cute when he smiled, nodding to the older boy. "Humble is good. I like humble."

Namjoon laughed. "You should come around here more often. It'd be nice to have more company along with these two." He jerked his thumb at his companions, and Jimin nodded his assent.

You shrugged, frowning. "Eh, I don’t know-“

A car pulled up next to the sidewalk. Your Uber was here. You gathered your things and stood, turning to the three men. "Well, it was nice meeting you guys. Thanks for staying and chatting, I really appreciate it."

Namjoon saluted you jokingly. "Anytime."

He and Jin waited until the Uber was halfway down the block before turning to Jimin. "Why didn't you ask for her number?"

Jimin had a look in his eyes that neither of his friends could recognize. "We'll see her again."

"She said she was dragged here by her fr-"

"We'll see her again." He turned and watched the car lights fade into darkness.

You weren't quite sure why you let your friends take you back out clubbing the next Saturday night. You'd hated every part of last Saturday except for sitting outside and talking with the trio of guys you'd met. Namjoon was funny, Jin was sweet, and Jimin- you had to admit, Jimin was cute.

The guy next to you was drunk and horny, and it was pissing you off. Your friends had left you for shots, it was crowded and sweaty, and you could feel yourself getting anxious. He was leaning into your personal space, reeking of vodka and desperation, and you'd just about had enough of it. You were looking around desperately from corner to corner, searching for an escape, when you picked out a blonde mop and sharp jawline through the crowd headed right for you.

The male stepped directly in between you and the drunkard. "Do you know how to properly talk to a woman? Jesus, do you have any self-control? How about respect? You damn well need some."

You breathed a sigh of relief as he placed his hand on your arm and steered you through the crowd to the opposite side of the room, where Namjoon leaned against the wall, perking up and pocketing his phone when he saw you and he approach.

Jimin turned to face you. "Are you alright?"

He'd spotted you as soon as you walked into the club that night. You'd gone a little dressier this time around with smart heels and winged eyeliner. The style looked the best on you than anyone else he'd ever seen, and he'd seen a hell of a lot of fine looking women wear it. They could never compare to you, though.

He'd watched every move you made, from spilling your coins all over the bar by accident to your anxious glances around the dimly lit dance floor. When Namjoon went to nudge him that there was someone practically shoving themselves on top of you, he was already almost halfway across the room.

The leather-jacket clad man leaned over to Jin. "I haven't seen Jimin this interested in a girl in a long time."

Jin raised his eyebrows and continued to text. "I haven't seen Jimin this interested in a girl ever."

"What do you think?"

Jin smirked. "Let's see where it goes."

You'd thought of him when picking out the dress, and judging by his wide eyes raking up and down your body, he was enjoying it immensely.

It was cute in an innocent kind of way, ending three inches above the knee, but keeping much to the imagination. Sheer spotted fabric covered the shoulders and arms, and the open back gave it just enough sex appeal to toe the line between overly racy and subtly provocative. It was silky, comfortable, and the best $45.00 you ever spent.

You'd paired it with black high heels and a high-end handbag. You were pretty proud, considering just about every factor that went into tonight drew you way out of your comfort zone. You were confident, sexy, and above all, terrified.

"Wow," Jimin said. "You look great." You smiled warmly, looking up at him with pink cheeks. "Thanks."

His eyes met yours, and he beamed his dimpled smile.

You fell right in with the guys as the night progressed, feeling comfortable enough to call them friends. They were drinking steadily, and for once, you weren't concerned with trying to escape the sleazy club. Your mind was on having fun, and the obvious flirting you and Jimin named as bickering. His arm had slipped around your waist, fingers trailing up to rest on your side, making you shiver. You loved every minute of this.

The alcohol was continuing to dampen your senses, adding to the feelings that inebriated and seduced your mind. Lasers flashed and music thudded, resonating through your heels into your very core. You were high off of lights and cameras and designer jackets, and you damn couldn't get enough.

He couldn't remember who kissed who first, whose careless touch ignited a blaze inside the other's chest, who was the first to suggest they go back to an apartment. Reality flickered before his eyes like a black-and-white film reel- it skipped ahead and slowed down at times, absorbing him in and throwing him back out again into euphoria. He wasn't sure how it started, but all he knew was that the most important thing in his world was on his lap with lips tasting like vodka and gin.

He kissed a trail from your lips to the corner of your jaw, exhaling hot over your ear, making you shudder. Your eyes flashed and it snagged in his memory, the reel looping back to take in what had just occurred five seconds prior. You were pressing yourself into him, kissing down his chest, and he was desperate for you.

His fingers danced up your back to find the hook of your dress, struggling with the button for what felt like eternity, and he slipped it off of your shoulders. He kissed along your collarbone, tasting the sweat on your shoulders and taking in the weight of your body on his. His shirt was stripped, thrown off into the corner somewhere to be found at a time when its owner wasn't so preoccupied.

He pulled you closer by the base of your spine, begging desperately for you to be closer, closer, closer. In the haze, you were below him, his elbows resting on either side of your face. Suddenly you were on top of him, a wild sight of wasted and fucked-out, high on love and alcohol and air that smelled like sex and perfume and Gray Goose. Some rational part of him tried to make sense of it all, but your fingers tightened around his light locks and the clarity slipped away. He couldn't piece together a damn thing.

He woke up with someone's back against his chest and the worst headache he'd ever had.

His eyes were gritty, mouth tasting like morning and remnants of last night. He slowly blinked awake, squinting into the light and looking down to see you curled into him.

Pieces of darkened eyes and groans came back to him, and he could take his best guess as to what had happened after you'd given drinking games a shot.

"Shit."

You stirred in his arms, hooking your leg around his and burying your face into his chest. "Hi."

He rested his chin on your head, kissing the top of it. "Good morning."

He stayed like that for a good long while, unsure whether you were falling back asleep or gathering the courage to leave.

He tilted his head down at you as you dozed, comfortable and content. Even in the morning, he noted, running a hand through your hair, you were still as beautiful as you were to him last night.

"My head hurts like hell." Your creaky voice broke through the heavy morning glow filtering into his apartment.

He chuckled quietly. "Mine too."

"Jimin?" You rested your chin on his chest, settling your legs between his, unsure what to say.

"Yeah?"

"What are we now?"

He hesitated, biting his bottom lip, which was still slightly swollen. "I- I don't know."

Your heart sunk. "I don't know either."

Silence again settled over the bedroom, each pondering what had been, and what could be. The question was on the tip of your tongue, and somehow, you were more scared of it than you were of walking into The Jackal last night.

Oh, fuck it.

"What do you us want to be?"

He mulled the question over, fingers tracing down your spine. It was quiet for three long heartbeats before he spoke. "Well, I'd like to take you out for coffee first."

You laughed. "That sounds perfect."

"Do you have anything going on later today?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

He leaned down to kiss your forehead. "The cafe on 152 and 36th sound okay?"

"Tell me when and I'll be there." You nuzzled his jaw.

His cheeks dimpled. He really was handsome. "Bathroom's the first door on the right down the hallway. I'll drive you over to your place if you'd like to freshen up."

A gentleman no matter what state of hot mess he was in. "Yeah, that would be great. Thanks." You stretched, folding back the blankets and swinging your legs over the side of the bed.

"Oh, and ____?"

"Yeah?"

"Where the hell is my shirt?"

[outroshooky]

firmament | myg

⇢ genre: drabble (fluff)

⇢ pairing: min yoongi x reader

⇢ word count: 497

⇢ prompt: #35. “things you said that made me feel real”

⇢ a/n: for anyone who needs comfort right now- this is for you.

She came looking for him when the bolts came down, when the night turned dark and clandestine with gloom.

Ivied fingers clawed at windows glimmering wet with celestial tears, white-hot flashbangs pierced droplets of moonlight and caused dim bulbs on naked wire to flicker, heartbeats pounding electrical staccatos. The walls seem even thinner on nights like these, she swears she can hear them speak- her breath trembles when she pauses, she thinks she heard a murmur from the fatigued, crumbling plaster, and she bolts from the fraying couch cushion when nature’s fury roars fierce and savage against her tiny welkin of safety.

There’s a subdued creaking as the chipped crystal door handle turns, and he stirs when he hears her tentative, rushed footsteps. He’d know them anywhere, and as quiet as she may try to be, his ears are tuned only to her. Only for her.

Yoongi’s voice is rough, grating with drowsiness when he groans and she dives into the blankets, the mess of comforter and sheet and throw blanket an ideal cocoon for such a panicked creature. His arms find her in the confusion and he draws her to his side, she molds herself so perfectly against his crooked body and the siren calls of ghosts long gone seem so far away now, deflected by the chaos she so willingly shares with her beloved.

“Are you alright, my love?”

Her hum explains the things she simply does not have the energy to say, and Yoongi’s slender fingers brush her hair back from over her brow, tuck a lock behind the shell of her ear, comb through the loose strands with practiced ease. His nails scratch at her scalp, and she wraps one leg around his, burying her face in the crook of his neck to inhale sandalwood and linen and cedar. When the room is lit up by a momentary flare, he tucks her ever closer and shields her eyes from the explosion of light. He can feel her flinch and cower into him, and his thumb strokes across her cheek when he cups her face in his hands.

He hushes her gently, softly. “It’ll be over soon.”

As cracks of lightning cleave the pouring sky, he whispers hushed affirmations against her skin, muted praises and assertions of how he is ever so enraptured with her. When rain kisses the overgrown panes of windows so forlorn of youth, Yoongi presses his lips to her hairline; he only makes promises that he intends to keep, and will do so if his very life depends on them. She is as strong and solid as the heavens, as gentle and tender as the caress of moonlight on the faces of star-studded lovers. She is his as the heavens shake the columns of earth, as the walls peel to reveal their bare bones, as they of one flesh are stripped to the core in the center of the cosmos, and god. He would not want it any other way.

[outroshooky]

my friend made a moodboard for my upcoming friendswithbenefits!au and i'm absolutely in love with it.

[outroshooky]

love yourself world tour - newark, nj (9/29/2018)

Where do I even begin?

Last night was one of the most incredible nights of my life, and it didn’t sink in until I woke up this morning and my first thought was “I saw BTS yesterday”. They’re so real to me now- of course, you see them on interviews and you have their photocards and their bon voyage episodes, but it never really feels like they’re truly human until they’re standing in front of you in the middle of twenty thousand people, grinning from ear to ear. The joy radiated from all of their faces, and believe me when I say I'm not exaggerating that they glowed- in fact, they literally did! MELANIN. MEL-A-FUCKING-NIN, they’re so tan! It's so refreshing to see them not-whitewashed!

The energy on stage last night was insane. The Love Yourself concert was also my first ever concert- I don't get out much, haha- and I don't think I could have asked for a better show to take my concert virginity. The vibes and aura radiated from the crowd back to them and from them to us… seeing and hearing and being a part of the ARMY fanchant is an experience unto itself. When I first found my seat in the arena, the first thing I heard was a few thousand voices singing along to Save Me. Honestly, I almost started crying on the spot. Save Me has always had a special place in my heart as being the song that got me into BTS (along with me identifying with the song as a whole) and I had chills listening to it even from walking around in the lower levels on the way to finding my section. The atmosphere literally buzzed with excitement, but morphed into one of love as the night went on. It was written all over their faces just how much fun they were having… but more on all of these points later.

Pre-concert

I found @starlightaetae about an hour after I arrived at Prudential and we waited in line to take a picture together in front of the massive BTS world tour banner set up in the middle of the merch area. I think one of the most refreshing things about walking around before the concert was seeing all seven members equally represented by fans. So many Namjoon stans, and Jin stans too! A lot of people went to the Line store in NYC before arriving at Prudential, and as a result there were tons and tons of people with Bt21 merch, banners, and the like. I saw a girl walking around in a Koya onesie, and that was super cool!

I have never seen such diversity in the fan base as I have with ARMY. Young, old, gay, straight, black, white, tall, short, everything and everyone in between was there at yesterday’s concert. People I never would have guessed to be fans of BTS were walking around completely decked out in merchandise. While we were waiting in line, I saw a trio of sixty-plus women all wearing tour shirts- one of whom even painted her sneakers to say BTS! There was someone else wearing Hoseok’s iconic yellow sweatshirt/basketball jersey look, and they were wearing a wig dyed the color of his hair at the time!

Some of the most impactful moments of yesterday were standing in the middle of the merch area or on lines and watching all of the people mix and mingle around us. Everybody was introducing themselves, hyping each other up because it's BTS, and how can you not? To see all of these people come out, people I never would have guessed to be stans… it was really heartening. I realized just how many people these seven boys have touched, forgoing language and nationality and gender to reach out to people of all ages around the world. Everyone was a really good sport about things; I didn't hear a single complaint from anybody, even when for example the photobooth was closed. People were polite and respectful; some let us take pictures with their pickets, which had sold out by the time I’d gotten there. Overall, there was this energy that buoyed the thousands of us all crammed into the area around the stadium… it was infectious. Some dancers flash-mobbed an entrance and were dancing not only to BTS songs like Fake Love and Lie, but to other kpop songs. About a hundred people were clustered around them, singing along and cheering them on, and yet again I realized just how many people have been impacted by the boys. And then it sunk in that I was standing outside of the building where these same boys were and I lost my shit.

When I walked into the concert venue, my hands were trembling so bad that the usher couldn't scan my ticket for a few seconds because of the shaking barcode. Then it scanned; I was green lighted to go in and it all hit at once. The fanchant was filtering from up the escalator, the air was smoky with fake fog, my knees started shaking and I think at that point Nicole and I grabbed onto each other and cried a little bit because what else were we gonna do, I mean really. We held each other up for a good few minutes, especially when we stepped into a mezzanine section and got a look at the stage for the first time. I could see my upper level section (211!) from where we were standing, and my vertigo kicked in for a few seconds, and then excitement and nervousness took over (I think I should note here that I was actually so nervous that I didn't eat anything yesterday except for two slices of toast for breakfast. It sunk in during the car ride home that I hadn't eaten anything the entire day and then I was starving haha). Nicole and I went our separate ways here, and we waited about an hour and a half from then until the concert started. In the meantime, we waved our ARMY bombs and found each other across the arena (which was fun since it was mostly empty at the time) and just took it all in. The screens were playing BTS music videos, and I don't think I'll ever forget the sound of several thousand people singing Spring Day as one collective voice. Hearing people’s screams when Boy Meets Evil, Blood Sweat and Tears, and I Need U came on gave me chills.

The two seats next to me were empty, so I had relatively free space to move around, except I managed to dump my water bottle all over my drawstring bag and everything inside of it in the first ten minutes of the show… rip my program book, which is still drying out on the kitchen counter. I did manage to grab an extra Magic Shop sign though since mine was ripped and sopping wet. As the minutes ticked down, the energy in the arena grew even more frenzied, with the entire crowd (and forming ARMY bomb ocean!) screaming and bopping along to the Mic Drop music video. At 6:00pm, the lights shut off and Fake Love played, with the entire audience lit up only by light sticks screaming the lyrics. When the intro VCR started playing, I could see part of the stage open up from where I was sitting and I realized I could see the top of Namjoon’s head as they knelt on the platform. That was fucking surreal. Then the VCR ended, the lights shut off, the opening chords of Idol rang through the arena, and the platform raised up.

IDOL

From where I was sitting, it was difficult to see the individual members when they were on the main stage, but that didn't stop me from screaming my head off when Namjoon appeared on the big screen, looked dead into the camera, and said “You can call me artist, you can call me idol!” At this point, I was so overcome with shock that I don't think I actually waved my ARMY bomb for the first thirty seconds of the song. I just stood there attempting to collect my jaw from the floor because holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck it was them. I remember screaming when Yoongi did his little kick and they did that iconic challenge move. It was so freaking surreal, and sounded so identical to the recorded track that I forgot I was listening to them live. Jimin made my heart stop during Idol; the amount of power and precision in his movements was stunning, and it continued to awe me as the night went on. As each of the members came on the screens, it became real that this was them, and they were actually in front of me, and I kept counting to seven because I could not believe that this was actually them. Idol is enrapturing to see live, and I realized that although you can watch their choreographies online and during interviews and shows, you can never truly understand the feeling until you see one live. It takes your breath away, it really does- especially during high intensity songs like the first three they played. Idol was over faster than it had began, and they took the in between time to introduce themselves properly.

Introductions - between Idol and Save Me

When Idol finished, the camera panned among all of the members (who I was glad to see were sipping water as they were talking to us), and we got a look at all seven together for the first time. Namjoon looked into the camera first and beamed. It switched to Taehyung next, who was looking from section to section and grinning his signature boxy smile. He introduced the group with “Hey guys!” and we all pretty much lost our minds. After Tae introduced himself, Yoongi was next and while casually adjusting his earpieces one by one, coyly cupped his hand around his ear and egged us on to scream louder for him. The entire arena erupted for Seokjin, who blew us a kiss (and we hollered even louder). Jungkook scratched his head and flashed a bunny smile with a wave and a “nice to meet you guys!” When Jimin came onscreen, the audience exploded, and his stage persona faded to this shy smile and a wave. And of course, we couldn't forget about Hoseok, who we fawned over with “I’m your hope, you’re my hope, I’m j...!”, letting the audience scream “HOPE!” Seeing all of the boys during their introductions, as small figures on a massive stage yet with their faces filling two giant screens, was freaking incredible. Them! The seven boys we love and adore, introducing themselves to tens of thousands of fans. Their genuine reactions to our cheers made it all the better.

Save Me/I’m Fine

Okay, so I'm not going to lie, Save Me and I’m Fine I have a very personal connection to. Not only was it the song that got me into BTS, but Save Me was the anthem that summed me up best when I found Bangtan- I was falling apart at the seams; the person I relied on for validation and self-confidence was drifting away from me, and I was losing touch of both of us in the mess. Save Me was my anthem at the time- I needed that person’s hand before I fell, except that hand never came, and I fell hard. When I found out LY: Answer would feature a DnB (drum and bass) track, I was beside myself with excitement (DnB is my favorite genre of EDM), and then when I found out that that same track would be the sequel to Save Me… I was in Europe at the time Answer came out, and I'm Fine was the first song I listened to from the album. I was trying desperately to stream it off of international data while we were driving from Germany to Austria, and when the drop came, I actually burst into tears.

These songs are my story, how I turned Save Me into I’m Fine, and it's because of these seven boys that I was rebuilt and actually focused on myself for once like I deserved to. I thought of so many other people that I forgot what it was like to know myself, and I realized that I can't rely on them one hundred percent. At the end of the day, I only have myself. With all of this in mind, when I saw Jimin walk up the stage while singing the opening line of Save Me, I burst into tears. I actually don't remember the performance- thank god I recorded it- because my vision was completely blurry and filled with tears. The fanchant to Save Me was awesome to hear, as well as us singing the lyrics even louder than they were. Seokjin and Taehyung were so powerful during the live version of Save Me, especially when it was them alone on the stage singing. The entire arena yelled “hey, hope world!” during I’m Fine. Yoongi’s rap cleared my skin, raised my chemistry grades, did my laundry and ran me over with a semi. Holy fucking shit, the entire rap line decimated us all in the first ten minutes, and we hadn’t even gotten to Outro: Tear yet. Save Me/I’m Fine were the most emotional songs of the night for me by far.

ARMY Time

Skip this section if you’d like to be surprised by the song they perform during ARMY time, which came about fifteen minutes into the show.

When we arrived at the venue, each seat had a black banner with a flower design on it hung over the armrest. Hangul was written above and below “magic shop”, and according to the back of the banner, the whole phrase translated to “ARMYS are the flowers that grew in your magic shop”. Needless to say, the boys performed Magic Shop, and to hear tens of thousands of people singing “I’ll show you!” so sweetly back to them was really something else. There was no choreography, just them walking around the stage singing to us, and it felt truly intimate, just us and them in our own little world, created by the people in the same room, united by the same love. They are my magic shop, and we are theirs too. Taehyung and Seokjin again stood out here and showcased their vocal talent- the entire vocal line as a whole touched me deeply. When the cameras panned to show an endless row of signs in the audience, it brought it all together, and I felt connected not only to the boys but to every person around me. It was a moving performance, and certainly a magical moment, with the audience and their signs illuminated by the lights of the ARMY bombs and spotlights.

-VCR 1-

Trivia: Just Dance

All of the trivias blew me away, and each in their own special way. Just Dance was the most energizing performance of the night; it was by far the most impressive live solo dance I have ever seen. Hoseok owns the stage; he was born to be up there, and he stole my heart throughout the entire show, but he did the most during his Trivia. He makes it all look so easy; he interacts with the audience with this natural smile on his face that radiates joy. Our ARMY bombs lit up rainbow and the stage glowed purple, which was a gorgeous backdrop since he was wearing all white. I will never hear the first drop of Just Dance the same way again after the insane choreography that Hobi performed. He was flawless and fluid and natural being up there in front of us, dropping into a one legged split and popping back up like it was nothing. He is beyond charismatic and a literal ray of fucking sunshine, especially when he’s dancing and rapping at the same time. Both make him so happy, and that is written all over his face when he performs.

Around halfway through the song, backup dancers ran up onto the stage seemingly from out of nowhere (they ran up stairs in the pit) and Hoseok actually leapt over them while rapping. Even though he’s a single person in the middle of tens of thousands, your eyes naturally gravitated to him- he explodes with energy and passion and power like no other member of the group. He brings his own talent to the stage and awes us, whether it’s rapping or dancing or singing or even just hyping up the crowd. He really does make Just Dance look easy, even when he’s dropping down practically into a split thirty feet in the air on a raised platform.

Long story short, I love Jung Hoseok. Period.

Euphoria

Jungkook awed me during Euphoria most particularly with his vocals. He, much like Hoseok, was born to perform; between his voice and stage presence and impeccably smooth dancing, the best word to sum it all up is fluid. Euphoria is Jungkook’s song; it felt like he was speaking to us when we collectively sang “You are the cause of my euphoria/when I'm with you I'm in utopia”. I loved the lights (with ARMY bombs glowing bright blue!) and backup dancers in plain black. They were little details that didn’t detract from the whole, but rather drew your attention to the main stage and how utterly talented Jungkook is. Euphoria really is his song.

I Need U

The version of I Need U they played at the concert was a rock version that I actually enjoyed more in a live setting than the original song. Yoongi pointed his mic towards the audience for his intro rap part and let us cover it- with some mixed results (we sorta slurred some parts, but we tried)- but he nodded along with us as we sang. He was proud of us. Rather than doing the choreography, the boys stood on stage and listened to the arena sing. The smiles on their faces said it all. We screamed for Jin when he sang his verses, and you could see the visible change in his demeanor when he heard us. Namjoon and Taehyung faced my section for the final chorus, and Yoongi’s little shouts of “I NEED YOU” made I Need U one of my favorite memories from the night by far.

Run

Run was an absolute blast; I honestly can’t tell you who was more hyped, the audience or the boys. When the first drop came, they doused the fans at the barrier with whole bottles of water, which was really fun to see from up above. I don’t listen to Run on the daily, but last night’s performance changed that. It was energetic and explosive, and the whole arena was electrified.

-VCR 2-

Serendipity

Holy shit.

Just holy fucking shit.

Park Jimin.

Serendipity was another of my favorite performances from the night. I chose not to watch the choreography before I saw it live, and that combined with Jimin’s stage presence solidified Serendipity as my favorite intro. It’s such a beautiful, passionately sung song, and as much as Euphoria fits Jungkook, Serendipity fits Jimin. Onstage, Jimin oozes unadulterated charisma and pure sex appeal. You’re almost forced to watch; he is one hundred percent breathtaking, even if he’s simply walking up the stage. Serendipity live is the perfect mix of sweet and sensual, tender and heartfelt lyrics paired with elegant and sultry dance moves. Speaking of sultry dance moves, I was not expecting him to pull up his shirt for a few seconds, and neither was anybody else judging by the screams that elicited from the audience. He grinned for the quickest of moments after hearing us holler for him, and one of my favorite moments of the night actually happened at the end of the song. Jimin faced the camera and sang “Let me love…”, but a smile broke over his face- a real, genuine smile- and he said in the softest, shyest voice, “...love... you.” The screen went black and the arena erupted in cheers. Even in the last fifteen seconds of his performance, you could see Jimin fighting back the urge to smile, and that really made it so special.

Comparing the Jimin from the WINGS tour to the Jimin that we saw last night is like comparing two different people. Watching Burn The Stage, it was clear that he was struggling at the time, both with self love and perfectionism. Last night was like watching a bird freed from his cage. Jimin was comfortable in his own skin. He was happy. He’s learned how to love himself, and seeing the crowd’s reaction to his performance was enough for him to know he’d done well. That final smile and those nearly-whispered words- “love… you…”- said everything he hadn’t.

I love you, Jimin. I’m so proud of you.

Trivia: Love

I made it a point to scream for Namjoon during his solo song, and he got the loudest shouts of the night for any trivia during this performance. Namjoon’s stage presence is something that can only be described when you’re standing there watching him rap, engaging tens of thousands of people who are chanting the lyrics with him as he sings. You could see his pride and confidence build as the song (and concert as a whole!) went on. Love was absolutely engaging and riveting; Joon is a natural up on stage in his element, he was born to rap like this. Seeing Namjoon’s progression from Burn The Stage to last night was sort of like witnessing Jimin’s growth; he found his confidence with Love and made us all his bitch in the process. I fell even more in love with Joon during Love and fell in love with the vibes he gave off- poised, intelligent, intellectual, engaging. Oh, and did I mention he flipped his jacket off and gave us a shoulder tease?

DNA

The boys performed the choreography of DNA on the diamond stage, and although it was difficult for me to see for the most part, I could focus on the general mood of the audience a little more. We were all into it; it was definitely one of the most action-packed dances of the night since they performed it out in the middle of GA. DNA is definitely a crowd pleaser; we devotedly screamed for all of the boys, especially the second verse that’s pure rap line. It was so awesome to see something so iconic be performed right in front of our eyes.

Boyz with Fun/Attack on Bangtan/Fire/Baepsae/Dope

This mashup was explosive onstage and I think this was one of the most fiery performances of the night. Not only was hearing Jungkook rap live so cool, but seeing them go back to their hip-hop roots- and the roots of one of my favorite albums, Young Forever- was a great nod to their earlier music. The transition between Attack on Bangtan and Fire punted me into a level of Dante’s Inferno, and I was subsequently resurrected by the goddamn ferocity of Namseok’s hip thrusts during Baepsae. The rap line brought the fucking house down during Baepsae, and I think sexiest dance of the night would go to Namseok- Namjoon, for his handless, aggressive hip thrusting, and Hoseok for the thrusting he did while in a squat-crouch low to the ground. Dope was also incredible to see live; our ARMY bombs flashed red and the audience was electrified the most during Dope and Baepsae live. I’m not a big fan of Fire or Dope, but they’re back on my daily playlist after last night.

Airplane Part 2

This song was- oh my god.

Nicole and I are two of the biggest Airplane Part 2 stans you will ever meet, and last night’s performance of it destroyed our biases like nothing else.

The crowd screamed so loud when the chair appeared onstage. I’m pretty sure I actually went temporarily deaf at this point, because there was a ringing in my ears that definitely hadn’t been there earlier.

The boys were absolutely beaming throughout the whole thing. The first verse and bridge where Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, Namjoon, and Seokjin are passing the mic back and forth, they were grinning from ear to ear when the transitions happened. Just as Jimin passed the mic to Taehyung, he raised his eyebrows and gave us a little grin. Taehyung was smiling like the goddamn sun during his lines, and we screamed Namjoon’s rap along with him. Jimin is so goddamn powerful, and Jungkook’s little smirk when he sang the second half of the chorus was adorable. Jin even winked at the camera once or twice. You could tell they were having fun and legitimately enjoying themselves.

Jungkook’s high notes in Airplane Part 2 made the song, as did Sope’s verses. It was the most captivating performance of Airplane Part 2 I have ever seen. You can watch performance after performance online, but nothing, nothing tops seeing that song live.

-VCR 3-

Singularity

“I DIED DURING THUS SONG DIDOS OH MY GOD MY MANS WENT FOR IT WITH THEM MASKS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOF” - @starlightaetae

Nicole sums it up as best as possible. Singularity was one of the most riveting performances of the night. Personally, I don’t listen to Singularity very often, but Taehyung’s performance last night made me fall in love with it. His voice was like silk; Singularity is his baby and it made us his bitch. I loved how the mannequin was brought out and the masks (just like in the video!) had such an awesome effect on the whole thing, especially when Tae put one on himself. He gave this cocky little smirk to the camera before putting it on, and I’m pretty sure Nicole hasn’t been the same since. (“No, I haven’t been the same since!” - @starlightaetae)

I actually preferred the live version of Singularity to the recording simply because of the vibes this version gave off. I didn’t like the music video; for me it was too overwhelming, and a little too strange for my liking, but the live performance was completely enthralling. Taehyung commanding the stage during his intro was different to his previous appearances; you could tell that he was in his element here, and that was so freaking cool to see. I love how between Stigma and Singularity, Taehyung has found his sound, and he’s completely relaxed (and undeniably sexy) when he takes the stage alone.

Fake Love

From where I was sitting, I was able to see the boys line up before the main lights came on, and I pretty much lost my shit. Fake Love is one of my favorite songs, and it’s yet another song that you can see performance after performance of online, but there is nothing as captivating as the live performance. It’s also one of my favorite choreographies and I think the most emotion-filled out of all of their choreos.

Last night, the boys performed the Rocking Vibe mix of Fake Love, which was super cool to see live! I really liked how all of their larger hit songs were played as a rock mix version with drums and guitars, and Fake Love was my favorite rock remix. The crowd was beyond hyped for this song. I get chills whenever I rewatch the recording and listen to the fanchant; I’m pretty sure we sang and rapped almost every line. The crowd screamed when Hoseok and Jungkook did their mirror move and when the other six did their sort of marionette dance around Jimin. Seokjin got so much screen time and love from the audience! The loudest yells of the night were caused by Jungkook’s dual ab teases, and he gave this little cocky smirk after each one. The camera actually zoomed in on his second ab tease, thereby decimating tens of thousands of people in the blink of an eye. After the second ab tease, the camera cut to Jimin, and you could see him smirking too at our screams. Seokjin really went hard dance-wise during Fake Love; I’m so proud of him for how far he’s come with his dancing ability! He was incredible last night, and Fake Love all around was an insane performance- definitely one of the best of the night.

-VCR 4-

Trivia: Seesaw

Min Yoongi.

Min.

Fucking.

Yoongi.

Trivia: Seesaw has shamelessly been my favorite trivia off of LY: Answer since the album came out. I have such an emotional connection to this song; I can relate to it in so many different ways and seeing it live almost reduced me to tears. Yoongi is completely breathtaking when he’s alone. He makes the smallest movements look effortless; he commands that you look at and listen to him, and the entire crowd sang the chorus of Seesaw with him. I loved the backup dancers and the choreography, the constant references to that balance and imbalance. He slid down a bench in the middle of the stage and then ran up it in the middle of the second verse! He was so engaging and you could tell he was loving the attention from the crowd. During the last chorus, he pointed the mic at us and let us sing. You could see the smile on his face grow as he heard us, and he looked out as he sang, trying to make eye contact with every section.

I’m so in love with both this song and Min Yoongi. Nicole can attest to the fact that I’ve spent the last day in complete awe that he was right in front of me. I see so much of myself in him; to see his gummy smile beam from right there at us was the best damn thing I could have ever asked for.

Love you, Yoongs. You have no idea how much you mean to me.

Epiphany

Nothing I produce from my mere mortal fingers on a keyboard can accurately describe the impact of hearing Seokjin perform Epiphany. It was the most emotional performance of the night second only to The Truth Untold, which was performed literally directly after Epiphany.

When we realized Epiphany was next, we began chanting Jin’s name. I will never forget the sound of tens of thousands chanting “KIM SEOKJIN! KIM SEOKJIN!” and cheering when that single spotlight shone on him sitting at the piano. We did that for no other member, and I was so proud and happy to see the love and support that we showed Jin last night. You could hear the audience quietly singing along, and the sheer amount of power in everyone raising their voices to sing “I’m the one I should love in this world” as one driving force is something I will never forget. There were two moments when Jin looked directly into the camera, and it felt like time stopped. What felt like minutes at the show, as I’m rewatching the videos, was only seconds… It’s so hard to believe. The screams and cheers for him echoed throughout the whole arena… We yelled like that for no one else. It made me so, so joyful.

Although it didn’t show much in his face at first, his body language and the immense amount of effort he put into his performance said it all. Jin went hard. I’ve never seen him go that hard, ever. He put so much passion into his singing and he made it clear how he feels… Epiphany was one of the most moving performances of the entire show. I’ll never forget him nor the sheer beauty of it all.

Towards the end of Epiphany, Jin walked up on the main stage and turned his back to us, his profile completely illuminated by white light. We chanted his name again and when he hit those high notes, we fucking hollered. Kim Seokjin deserved every single bit of the cheers we gave him last night, ten times over.

Thank you, Jin. I love you.

The Truth Untold

As the final notes of Epiphany finished, the rest of the vocal line joined Seokjin on the raised platform to sing The Truth Untold. It was at this point in the show that I almost started crying for the fourth time, and I’m pretty sure the boys may have been crying too. You could see them looking out at us, taking it all in, listening to our screams that died into us singing along with them. Each of the four screens onstage showed a different member, and watching all four of them react at the same time made my eyes well up. I have chills every time I hear “but I still want you…” as we sang it along with them.

Seokjin, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are so, so fucking talented. They work so hard and they made last night’s performance of The Truth Untold something truly special. I will never hear the song the same way again, with thousands of voices singing the same line:

“...but I still want you…”

Outro: Tear

I had fucking whiplash from how fast these boys turned from soft, sentimental, and heartfelt vocals to hard-ass aggressive rap with a bite. Outro: Tear was wild. To sum it up according to Nicole, “It was the littest moment of my life.”

The entire stage and all of our ARMY bombs were lit neon green, plus fire shot up from the main stage during the chorus. I’m not gonna lie when I say Yoongi’s live verse of Tear was one of the hottest things I’ve ever witnessed, especially him singing/chanting those lower parts. Everyone was so hyped for the rap line; there was never a better day to be a rap line hoe. We screamed along with them as they belted out the chorus, especially the lower parts I mentioned before. Hoseok went hard; hell every member did. Namjoon in those shades wrecked my bias like none other.

You can listen to Outro: Tear and hear the power and emotion the rap line sinks into this song, but nothing will ever compare to seeing them take the stage and perform it. They’re in their element when they’re performing Tear; it was unlike any other performance during the night. It was raw, unbridled energy and release.

It was a good day to be a rap line hoe, y’all.

Mic Drop

Mic Drop. Mic Drop.

Mic Drop. That is all.

This song was my favorite group performance of the entire show. It was their last before the intermission, and I wish I’d recorded it because holy shit this performance blew the music video version out of the fucking water.

They performed the original Mic Drop with about a thirty second dance break towards the end, and I'll have you know that said dance break left me in a smoldering pile of ash because seeing seven guys at the forefront of a huge group of backup dancers all body rolling as one whole was hot as hell.

What was awesome was seeing how the crowd reacted to Mic Drop, and I think it was definitely the loudest performance of the night. We fed off of each other’s energy; the crowd was electrified and so were the boys. Our ARMY bombs lit up bright red and it was really a sight to see all around. I’ve never felt more in tune with an audience and a song; to hear everyone around me screaming the backing vocals and doing Seokjin’s little arm wave when he’s in the front during the choreography with tens of thousands of people was something else. It was the most explosive way to end the first part of the show, and certainly the most impressive.

I didn’t listen to Mic Drop regularly for most of this year, but I did when I first started listening to BTS, and I fell in love with Steve Aoki’s remix all over again when it came out on LY: Answer. Between that and their live performance, I’ll have Mic Drop on repeat for god knows how many years now.

Intermission

So What

I didn’t listen to So What actually until the Love Yourself World Tour started and I saw a video of Jungkook doing the chute dance down the middle of the stage. I was having really bad anxiety at the time, and that video was the only thing to make me laugh that night. Ever since I’ve seen the various clips of him doing the dance, it’s made me think of the song completely differently, and last night was no exception.

It was so much fun to see every member completely bopping to So What. The boys were all running around the stage hyping us up, and that first drop was completely unforgettable. White confetti exploded from the stage and rained down on the crowd. It was so much fun, and you could tell that they were also enjoying themselves to no end. It was us and them and singing and dancing simply for the love of music and being together… It was one of my favorite moments from the night, especially seeing Jungkook go insane. I love his headass so much.

Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook did the chute dance right down from the main stage to the diamond, and I have never loved any of them more than I did in that moment. To see Namjoon rapping behind them (looking mildly disappointed) and Jin/Jimin/Jungkook laughing and having the time of their lives was one thing I’ll never forget. Plus, Taehyung and Seokjin flirting with each other and the camera was so damn adorable. So What has such a larger meaning for me now that I’ve seen it live; it has concert vibes written all over it and I'll always remember hearing Jimin and Jungkook’s higher vocals cut through near the end of the song. So What holds so much excitement for me now, and I really hope they do it at every concert in the future, because it was truly unforgettable.

Anpanman

The live performance of Anpanman was fucking incredible.

I actually am not a huge fan of the song; I don’t like the opening line and as a result I’ve never been able to enjoy listening to the full thing. However, the live version changed my mind. The boys practically exploded with excitement when it came on, and the crowd got so hyped. I loved the cartoons that displayed on the screens during the performance, and how excited Yoongi and Hoseok got rapping this song. I loved how the audience screamed along with “super car like Batman!”and “ballin’, ballin’, still Bangtan!”. Jimin in particular looked so happy singing this song. Also, I may or may not have yelled “YOU ARE” when Yoongi rapped “I can be your hero!”

Taehyung and Jungkook hugging while singing “waiting for you Anpanman” was so fucking cute. There are so many good memories and vibes associated with Anpanman now; this is another song that has a whole different meaning for me after seeing it live, and I’ll always remember how happy it made them- and us.

Answer: Love Myself and Goodbyes

Before they sang Answer: Love Myself, the boys said their goodbyes, and their ending speeches were so touching. They had a translator on hand when the boys switched to Korean, and Jin in particular said he never wanted to get rid of the feeling he had at that moment, it was just so good. Jungkook talked about how we are his energy and no matter how many shows they do, we always make him so happy. I realized during the ending speeches just how much love BTS has for us. They love us more than anything, they really do. You see it in their eyes when they look out at the crowd, trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible to take it all in. I looked at Jimin and Namjoon, who faced my section as they were saying their goodbyes, and it was unreal to see two men I hold in the highest esteem possible looking back up at me. We are so privileged to have each other, and they deserve all of the love in the world.

I will never, ever forget hearing an arena of thousands sing “You show me I have reasons I should love myself” collectively as one. You could see it written all over the boys’ faces just how much they were affected. Most importantly, last night I saw an emotion that I didn’t see much in their previous world tour clips (before LY), but was prominent in every performance of the show.

Happiness.

These boys are happy. So, so happy. They’re learning to love themselves, and they’re proud of us for doing the same.

They didn’t want to get off stage last night, lingering as long as possible to say goodbye. Taehyung and Jungkook were the most reluctant to go, Taehyung being the last one off stage, and Jungkook taking one last look into the camera, winking, and dumping his entire bottle of Fuji water all over his head before dashing into the wings.

After the show ended and the lights came back on, I sat on the upper level with my head in my hands just staring at the stage. An ARMY below me took one look as she was leaving and said “Just so you know, you’re my entire mood right now.”

I replied, “What am I going to do with my life?”

She shrugged and said “Wait until their next world tour.”

I have on video that as Jungkook was saying his goodbyes, he said he’d see us back here next year.

Hey, Jeon?

I’m holding you to that.

[outroshooky]

the best night of my fucking life. part two.

[outroshooky]

colors | jjk

⇢ genre: series (idol!au) (angst, some fluff)

⇢ pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

⇢ word count: 2.1k

this work is based off of the song colors by halsey: listen here

Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so

He said your mother only smiled on her TV show

The bedside clock read 12:53am, and he still wasn’t home.

It wasn’t the first time this week, either.

You could hear the front door lock click from a floor above. Cloudie barked once, sleepily, and then curled back into the corner of the couch.

Feet scuffed on the floorboards and there was a soft thud as his backpack hit the floor. The closet door opened and shut, and he padded to the stairs.

You could hear his footsteps outside your shared bedroom, and you quickly curled into the blankets and closed your eyes.

His weight dipped the side of the bed as he sat down next to you. He leaned over, kissed your temple softly, lightly, and whispered an apology.

You’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope

I’ll hope you make it to the day you’re twenty-eight years old

There was only one thing he loved in life more than you.

He was an idol first and foremost, and he lived off of the high. The twelve hour practices, performing onstage, designer clothes, late-night talks in expensive hotel rooms. He rose beyond every precedent and standard set before him: People expected much, and he gave up everything he had and more to impress them.

The dark rings were prominent over breakfast, and he cupped the mug in his hands like a lifeline. The table was silent; he was too tired for conversation. You didn’t even know what to say to him.

“Baby, you won’t last another ten years if you keep this up.” You looked over the rim of the mug into his tired eyes.

“I have no choice,” his voice cracked. “Namjoon wants me and Hobi in the studio at 9:30am before practice starts. We have to go over some lyric changes.”

You shook your head. “You’re going to faint from exhaustion.”

He sipped his coffee. “This is my life, jagi. It goes on and on, and I have to keep up. This is how it is.”

You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise

You’re spilling like an overflowing sink

Your emotions poured out late at night into the little black leather-bound notebook you kept on the bedside table. You used the fountain pen that your dad had bought you for your eleventh birthday, the day after you told him that you wanted to become a writer when you grew up. He’d been typing away in his office at the time, and you assumed he hadn’t heard you from the doorway. But he had, and the next morning, you found a small wrapped box at your place setting. It was the first time he’d ever given you something you actually asked for.

Ink stained the corners of the pages as you wrote, sketching in the margins. You outlined the petals of the roses on the counter and traced a dove soaring between the lines. The paper could keep secrets for centuries- something he couldn’t seem to do.

You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a masterpiece

And I’m tearing through the pages and the ink

The door slammed behind him as he grabbed the car keys from the hallway table and fled. You stood in the kitchen in his hoodie, tears threatening to spill over. You knew where he’d be. Dating him meant having six other parties in the relationship privy to every disagreement and screaming match. He ran from you to find comfort in the only love he’d ever put before you.

You would never ask him to place you first. In the grand scheme of things, you weren’t important. You placed him first, and he placed you second. That was how it was.

You wiped your eyes on his sleeve, and the threads stained dark.

Everything is blue

His pills, his hands, his jeans

And now I’m covered in the colors, pulled apart at the seams

And it’s blue, and it’s blue

Even if he tried, he couldn’t prevent his two lives from bleeding into each other. He gripped the wheel white-knuckled as he drove, reaching the dorms and running two stairs at a time to find the only six people in his world who could understand. Rounding the bend, he nearly collided with Taehyung, who opened his mouth to complain but saw the look on his face and took him by the shoulder.

“Spill.”

Everything is gray

His hair, his smoke, his dreams

And now he’s so devoid of color he don’t know what it means

And he’s blue, and he’s blue

He sat on the concrete steps of the studio, watching the sunset fade. It seemed duller to him than it had ever had before, and he knew exactly why. The first time he kissed you was under the sunset down at the pier. You were grimacing over gin and tonic, two people living different lives.

He tipped his head back and downed the glass. “This is the nastiest thing I’ve ever tasted.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re telling me.”

He folded his hands in his lap with a glint in his eye only he could have. “Who needs alcohol to have fun?”

“What did you have in mind?” You grinned, legs dangling over the damp wooden planks.

He smirked, stood, and lunged for you, colliding with full force and knocking you sideways. You both tumbled into the bay, a mess of limbs and spluttering seawater.

You surfaced. “Jeon Jeongguk, I’m going to fucking kill you!”

He tossed his head back, wet hair throwing droplets into your face. “Not if I can kiss you first.”

And so it went.

You were a vision in the morning when the light came through

And I’ve only known religion when I’m lying with you

His shirt and your shorts and your shared hoodie respectively littered the floor of the bedroom. Light filtered through the blinds, patterning the cotton sheets that wrapped themselves around two bodies. He looked like something out of a fantasy- hair tousled, cheeks pink, and shirt flung somewhere to the left. He could say the same about you.

He held you, arms wrapped around your midsection, pulling you protectively into him. He buried his face into your neck, pressing a kiss behind your ear. Traces of your perfume and his cologne on your skin mixed into one intoxicating scent, and he was hooked on you. You stirred and stretched, rolling over to face him, eyes widening.

“Jesus, Guk.”

“What, jagi?”

“You’re beautiful.”

You said you’ll never be forgiven till your boys are too

And I’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you

He slept over that night on the dorm couch, which felt more comfortable than either of his beds. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t close his eyes. Every time he did, you flashed up into his mind. Your eyes looked so hollow, and he knew he was the cause.

He didn’t know how else to cope other than going to the boys. He’d spent almost every day of his life with them for as long as he could remember, and they kept him centered in the middle of the duality he balanced. Right now, he was tipping to one side, and he didn’t know how to stop it.

He rolled onto his back and buried his face in his hands.

You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise

You’re spilling like an overflowing sink

You’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a masterpiece

And now you’re tearing through the pages and the ink

Rain pattered heavily on the window, punctuated by the occasional crack of thunder. You were curled up in the window alcove of your bedroom, gazing out onto the empty street below. The notebook was clutched tight to your chest, fountain pen by your feet. Your mind was quiet, lulled to sleep by the fury of the storm.

He was yin and you were yang. He preferred dogs and you preferred cats. He hated ketchup on his fries, but for you, the more the merrier. He had always hated thunderstorms, but you didn’t mind them.

A car alarm chimed loudly outside the window, and you opened the notebook and picked up the pen.

Art is not what I create. What I create is chaos.

Everything is blue

His pills, his hands, his jeans

And now I’m covered in the colors, pulled apart at the seams

And it’s blue, it’s blue

He woke with the sun, which streamed into the living space through the small studio window. Someone had thrown a blanket over him at some point during the night, and he wrapped it around himself and sat up.

In the armchair next to the television was a lump of bedding and pillows, which slowly rose and fell. It brought a small smile to his lips: he’d have to thank Tae over breakfast.

Blinking sleep out of his eyes, he ran a hand through his hair and dug through the couch cushions to find his phone.

Everything is gray

His hair, his smoke, his dreams

And now he’s so devoid of color he don’t know what it means

And it’s blue, and he’s blue

The bright chirping of birds was interrupted by the sound of a quacking duck.

You stirred blearily, scrabbling through the mess of blankets to find your phone. His contact filled the screen, and your heart stopped.

“Jeongguk?”

“Baby, we have to talk.”

Everything is blue

His pills, his hands, his jeans

And now I’m covered in the colors, pulled apart at the seams

And it’s blue, it’s blue

He sat across the kitchen table from you, still in his pajamas and clearly half asleep. You didn’t look much better than he did. It was silent for a while, until he spoke.

“Which one of us is going to say it first?”

“I guess I will.” You fidgeted in your chair and took a deep breath.

“This isn’t working out.”

He smiled a little, sadly. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“I don’t want to say this will be over forever…” You trailed off, looking up at him expectantly. He nodded after a pause. “…but it’s not working out right now, and I think that’s something that needs to be addressed. This isn’t healthy anymore.”

He sighed, the tension releasing in his shoulders. “I agree.”

You reached across the table, taking your hand in his. “Listen, Jeongguk. This, what we have, right now? It’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and it’s killing me. Just because whatever this is is over doesn’t mean I never want to see you again.”

He squeezed your hand. “I feel the same way.”

You looked into his eyes, dark and young. “Life is telling both of us this isn’t supposed to work right now. Maybe it’ll work a week from now, or a month from now, or a year from now. But right now, it’s not working, and I don’t know what to do.”

Everything is gray

His hair, his smoke, his dreams

For the first time in many, many days, you saw his face light up for a split second. “Jagi, I want to wait for you. A day, a month, a year, ten years, I don’t care.”

You ran your thumb over the back of his hand, tracing down the inside of his thumb and running it over the lines in his palm. “Life doesn’t always work like that.”

“It might for us, we don’t know until we try. Please-“

“Jeongguk, I’m not holding you back if you find someone better out there. I will still be in your life, but I won’t be your girlfriend.”

He deflated, crumpling back in the chair and releasing your hand. “Please, jagi.”

“This is your life. It goes on and on, and you have to be there with it. I will still be in your world. Don’t hold back for me.”

He slowly nodded, standing and pushing the kitchen chair in. It was the best both of you could muster, and unfortunately, it would have to be enough.

You stepped over to him and kissed him, tasting bittersweet and minty. “Jeon Jeongguk, I’ll always love you.”

“I’ll always love you, too.”

And now he’s so devoid of color he don’t know what it means

And it’s blue, and he’s blue

You moved out a couple weeks later, finding your own apartment closer to the city. He’d changed from the moment you’d shared your last kiss: he brightened up, found his spunk again. You didn’t regret ending what you had- it was healthier for both of you.

Life went on and on for you. You had to be there with it, and couldn’t afford to hold back. That was how the universe worked, whether it was in your favor or acting against you. You were okay with it, somehow. And he was too.

Everything is blue, everything is blue

Everything is blue, everything is blue

[outroshooky]

the best photo of the night