#and having self doubts
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Finally making a choice and unsure if it was correct
#veearts#deltarune#kris dreemurr#ralsei#kralsei#krisei#kris x ralsei#deltarune fanart#fan art#dr fanart#im ngl I shipped this since 2018 but differently now#in my world the trio is a polytrio... so they just need y'know who#but u don't have to pay attention to that#just imagine it also as first time jitters#kris can finally decided things freely w/out player involvement#and having self doubts#is it settling or did they get to do things for once
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even dogs pass the mirror test
#hello again everyone. how's it going#isat loop#in stars and time#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#isat#lucabyteart#isat spoilers#so. had this idea Before getting my hands on the artbook and being validated. literally have a voice note from 4:30am on the 8th where#i frantically noted down this just horrid horrid horrid caption because i'd been musing on the sasasap Dress line all day i suppose#just kind of rotating in my brain the way any kind of first time trying on new clothes for them would be .#just absolutely mental breakdown material and not one i think would be recovered from quickly. they hate being in their own skin#like. a lot? like a lot. the collateral of any kind of transfemme read was barely in my mind until it ended up relevant again while i was#actively working on this. because christ that's a bad combo. 2x different forms of body dysphoria in one. maybe even 3x somehow#plus any scenario where they get clothes is... likely gifted. something they react viciously negatively to in game and i doubt#would improve thereafter. just a veritable katamari of disgust and self-loathing#like i was mostly just thinking abt how a lot of our collective depictions of loop being alienated from their body are rather abstract#in a body horror way mostly. on account of loop being more of a metaphor than a person half the time. so i think i wanted to depict#something closer to just. a human level of body dysphoria. no focus on the whole duplicate thing just... raw disgust for the self#but with the addition of recent discussion and playing ball more with the she/her loop and transfem loop angle...#scenario of leaning into femininity to try throw off suspicion on who they are PLUS realising they might want that PLUS the party#trying to use this to bond with them PLUS body dysphoria PLUS new!gender dysphoria PLUS the usual revulsion for wanting and desire#like. that is a catastrophic combination . not coming out of that one without it getting worse for a few weeks thereafter#that's a real lash out at everyone around them and then recede in shame type breakdown. which im sure looks interesting from#the party's pov because jesus christ that touched a nerve something awful (<- they only have half the context AT BEST)#. so . there's your free scenario to ponder on if you'd want to. seeing as ive done a picture without a shitload of words on it for once#ALSO don't get smart with me in the tags about the mirror test being an absolutely ass test in most regards re: self-awareness#or that things like minnows pass it. i'm a fellow pedant dont worry. it's just that minnow doesn't really have the same ring as dog yknow?#this is supposed to be like an absolutely excruciatingly self loathing thought spoken aloud of a caption. it's pithy and cruel on purpose#and more than a little inspired by (reblogged yesterday) liminal space's 'there is no other dog. it's just you'
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Something Old, Something New.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-yuan#Hey now! It's been a long while since we've seen that hair style!#Something old - in the way you see a little glimpse of a boy that died a long time ago#Something new in a man who has a new direction and purpose. Somehow it is still you. But you can't ever be that *you* again.#I think grief comes from a mourning of futures we lost. We associate it with love-#-but what else do we mourn if not the future we had with them? So too do we feel grief over the future our past self once hoped for.#I love the radish extra because it is so sweet and so full of small sorrows.#WWX is as playful as always with A-Yuan but there is a constant presence of how he no longer sees a future for himself.#Be it in the way he talks about the impossibility of him having children.#Or in the way he creates this silly and artificial game of helping A-yuan grow-up faster.#It's always about the moment to moment with him. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.#His major hubris moment has yet to come but I would strongly argue that the seeds of doubt were already gestating.#It might be a bit of a 'ship tease' moment when WWX comments that his idea kid would be more like LWJ than himself -#But I consider it to be a true (if unconscious) sentiment that he sees himself as having gone down the wrong path.#It's not a 'I want LWJ to have my kids' moment. It's an 'if I were to have kid - I'd want them to never know what I went through.'#WWX is the parent that breaks the cycle. He walked for 10km through the corpse piles everyday and by god he's driving you to school.#LWJ is also a cycle breaker parent but in the opposite direction. He packs chocolate chip cookies and extra snacks in your bag.
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Lando Norris Is Doing It His Way
Lando Norris: ‘Being happy with myself isn’t easy’ | Lando Norris: ‘You don’t have to have a killer instinct to be world champion’ | Netflix, Drive To Survive S07E02
#lando norris#feeling emotional about lando norris dot blogging dot edu#idk it's like there are times where i've thought that his whole I Don't Have To Be The Most Confident And Ruthless mindset was stubbornness#but the longer I watch him the more I'm convinced it's his strength that being brought up kind and loved and assured has allowed him to hav#a way better understanding of his personal neuroses than someone raised with doubt or self-hatred so I think fuck it let's win like this#let's win a bit silly and a little unconfident but a lot determined and encouraged. let's win with our stupid team.#IT COULD HAPPEN. Lando we can be world champion#nadia's things#critical lando theory
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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Still haven’t gotten to him yet but I needed a self-indulgent doodle. 😔
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#I fear I’m setting myself up for pain with this#but the visual is still on my mind and he’s still rotating in my brain#I doubt they’ll change the casuals just from what I’ve seen with the companions I have rn#messy hair Emmy tho#self indulgent is self indulgent#hush now#I’m so excited to see him grahhhhh
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Why do I feel like if Yue Qingyuan were to die pre canon, Shen Jiu would have gone Luo Binghe level feral, kidnapped his corpse, and found some way to bring him back even if he came back wrong because ain’t no wait Shen Jiu’s letting that man escape him. They are codependent divorced toxic yaoi and there is no escaping. It was in the contract and if Yue Qi didn’t want to be defiled, he shouldn’t have signed it 😤
#yue qingyuan would be into it honestly#Shen Jiu is feral#I love him#qijiu#he’d be out there using demonic cultivation to bring his divorced husband back so he can continue to suffer with him#I doubt this would fix them at all but it would certainly be neat to read#I wouldn’t be surprised if Shen Jiu actually slipped a written contract into Yue Qi’s paperwork and tricked him into signing#not that yue Qingyuan needed to be tricked; he’d have signed happily#but Shen Jiu wouldn’t have believed that so he used subterfuge#svsss shen jiu#svsss yue qingyuan#yue qingyuan#original shen qingqiu#shen qingqiu#yue qi#svsss fic#svsss fanfiction#svsss shen qingqiu#svsss#svsss au#mxtx svsss#scumbag system#shen jiu#scum villans self saving system#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain self saving system#scumbag self saving system#mxtx fandom#mxtx
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my initial knee jerk reaction to lucanis/spite saying "family, enemies, contracts" was bad because it felt like an oversimplification but actually thinking on it i really love that lucanis forces himself into this box to make things make sense in his life. family is unconditional, enemies are to be killed, but contracts is so. interesting... man who promises mila that he will find her father because he does not fail contracts. the same man who tells effe that he will kill her slaver because he needs to turn her from a poor young woman that he sympathises with, into someone he can make a deal with. it's not kindness, it's not weakness, he's just fulfilling a contract, and crows don't break contracts. if he kills a bunch of racist blood mages during that process, then he's not breaking the rules, just bending them. a very convenient excuse to be a good man while still being a crow and assassin. and of course when spite is forced into him, he gets out of it with something familiar! by making another deal! something he could work with, something he HAS to work with, because being just an abomination is unthinkable. if he can work himself out of this problem like he's done with every other contract in his life, in his mind maybe there's some tiny chance that this becomes another job that he can claw his life back from.
#like. 'i'm still an assassin. i'm still a crow. this is just a contract.' <- insane torture that involves forcing a spirit into him#i also of course see this backfiring hard when he gets out of the ossuary and it stops being a deal to survive#and a lot more of 'jesus fuck. im possessed.' and its a contract that no longer becomes about getting out but his actual future#and what that means for him. which triggers that spiral of self doubt and insecurity about rejection and disgust from 'family'#just. such a warped perception of the world that it HAS to be a contract is interesting to me#even rook/the companions starting as a contract and turning into family. the progression there must have been interesting right#especially with the weight he seems to place on promises. fun!!!!!#lucanis dellamorte#txt#when i heard the line i was like 'ooh! fun!' -> 'hmm. actually don't like that' -> (weeks later) 'nvm its fine again'
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SVSSS jokes about how SQH or SQQ make modern references and everyone looks at them in confusion are all well in good. Great even, Im a big fan. But I want to play with the "standards of modesty / purity are different in modern vs ancient times" thing and have them make a reference that out of context (or even with context sometimes tbh) is just absoloutley awful down bad filth
Like. SQH is hearing someone stirring porridge or smthn and absentmindedly going, "heh. That's what good pussy sounds lik— wait. Wait no. Wait guys no. WAIT GUYS NO GUYS IM SORRY—"
SQQ looks at him in disgust from behind his fan as if he didn't have the same reflex joke thought
SQH, seeing some random, oddly phallic shaped plant he wrote into the world: twitches like a man who wants to open a comment section that does not exist then reflexively mumbles, "damn I should call her"
MBJ: Who the fuck is her
#can you tell I think im funny#ignore the fact I doubt they even have that same slang for it in ancient china shut the fuck up and let me have this#svsss#sqh#shang qinghua#scum villian self saving system#mbj#sqq#shen qingqiu#mobei jun#birds fic talk
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Another Story x Tumblr — Saeran edition
#saeran#saeran choi#mystic messenger#mysme#mine#tpmeme#mysme spoilers#another story#ray#suit#get you a man who has an unpredictable 5d personality#don't matter what you're into bc it's near guaranteed one of his personas will do it for you ((i'm a sae/ray girlie myself))#hi so in case anyone actually noticed my absence (doubt) FEAR NOT#i'm not abandoning this blog again for the foreseeable future#i've just been busy and my unreasonable avoidant tendencies kicked in with each passing day#in that i felt i should have something to show for my inconsistent schedule lol#anywho i have news!! not good or bad just news#part of my mini break was dedicated to learning ps and experimenting#which means the drafts i started in 2024 are now almost ready to be posted#and while i can't guarantee y'all will like the content#i like them for the most part and have a couple different series in the works. and yes they're mostly self-indulgent
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polin - a dream come true
#Bridgerton#Colin Bridgerton#Penelope Bridgerton#Polin#bridgertonedit#polinedit#after all of the pining and self doubt#these two have gotten what they've wanted for so long#they can finally breathe again
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sometimes, i have to remind myself that your dungeon meshi comics are not cannon. but they are so good i go for a second "wait, was that part made by ryoko kui or sabertoothwalrus?"
thats honestly such a huge compliment 😭 thank you so much
#i really really try to capture the tone and themes of the canon material#but sometimes i have bouts of self doubt and i cant tell if that comes across at all. especially when its ship stuff lol
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#starbee#transformers idw#idw transformers#im not tagging every version of transformers here bc ik only the idw readers (me) are freaks about this ship#she toxic on my yaoi until i starbee#web weaving#izzyz centoz#izzyz webz#tf bumblebee#tf starscream#this is how I PERSONALLY view starbee#i honestly doubt that there are 4 people who agree with me#posts that will get 5 notes#starscream x bumblebee#TOXIC YAOI... TOXIC YAOI.. LEAVE ME BE TOXIC YAOI#it is 3 am bru#izzy haz ideaz#I HAVE SO MANY STARBEE FEELINGS ACTUALLY#starscreams self hatred vs bumblebees unending love#bumblebees self deprecation vs starscreams ego#i DO think starscream and bumblebee love eo BUT i dont think either of them would ever be privy to admit it#planning out a 200k fwb hurt/ little comfort starbee au rn
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We are NOT brushing over that little reunion scene between Hiccup and his dad in Portrait of Hiccup as a Buff Young man

LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS!!! AHHHH



And the just the whole scene of him flinging him around in the air C’MON WE ALL KNOW HICCUP SECRETLY LOVED IT


AND THE HANDS AND THE PHYSICAL AFFECTION FOR TOUCH STARVED LITTLE GREMLIN BOY ARAGAHAGAHGRRRRR

AND THIS. THIS IS MY SECOND FAVOURITE SCREEN GRAB OF ALL TIME. THEY ARE SO ADORABLE.
I HAVE AN ACTUAL ISSUE WITH PARENT CHILD RELATIONSHIPS. IT IS ACTUALLY THE CUTEDT THING EVER. AND STOICK IS FUCKING KNEELING DOWN AND HE’S STILL TALLER THAN HICCUP
#my first favourite screen grab is the one of Hiccup and Stoick throwing fish at people#Anyway yeah wouldn’t it be a shame if one of them died#really hope that doesn’t happen#httyd#how to train your dragon#hiccup#hiccup haddock#httyd hiccup#hiccup httyd#stoick#stoick how to train your dragon#stoick httyd#how to train your dragon stoick#hiccup and stoick#stoick haddock#httyd stoick#stoick the vast#how to train your dragon hiccup#hiccup how to train your dragon#father son#father son relationship#Portrait of Hiccup as a buff young man#kind of an ass episode title I won’t lie#Literally could have just named it ‘self doubt’ and that would’ve worked better#riders of berk#defenders of berk#httyd fandom#rob#dob#rob/dob
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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I see so many things where like SY is the sweet innocent one who shows SJ how to love and be loved and fixes him blah blah blah. But oh come on now, this is Peerless Cucumber we're talking about. Number one hater extraordinaire. He is so bitchy. He would not fix SJ if anything he would make him worse.
I need more content that's just SY and SJ standing with their twin fans unfolded, viciously tearing their opponents (the other peak lords) apart with their barbed insults. I need them casting vicious mockery within every battle, whether it be against demon, peak lord, or random civilian who just happened to spill tea on them.
#am i perfectly capable of writing this myself?#yes but I'm too busy writing my feral teen sy au for this one#if pidw didn't have slurs before it sure does after sy and sj meet#they're both haters your honor#and i think they deserve to utilize their bitchyness at max capacity#god help those poor souls who get caught in the crossfire#i think airplane would be like relieved??#that other people are now getting the full force of peerless cucumber that he got in the other world#the only person who is free from sy torment is binghe#maybe sy nags sj enough that he lets up on binghe#but doubt#svsss#scum villains self saving system#shen yuan#shen jiu#scum villian self saving system
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