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#and having that happen over and over is. discouraging
piracytheorist · 3 days
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What's your thoughts on the episode where that fake waiter 'poisoned' Yor, and Anya intimidated him into supposedly leaving the crime life? The stuff he thought and whatnot, as well as Anya in that scene? I'm so curious as to your thoughts
I think that Anya, honestly, has the time of her life making her fantasies come true and saving the world.
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All kids dream of being superheroes and doing cool stuff. Courtesy of her mind-reading powers and girlbossing a spy and an assassin into adopting her, Anya can actually act on that stuff and go up against bad guys and overthrow plans for war, and I think, to her advantage, she's a little too young to understand the gravity of her situation. She stops a bomb, saves her father and many many innocent civilians, practically putting an end to an effort to reignite a war that ended before she was even born... and then she goes back home with a bright smile like "Hero Anya has saved the day!"
And I think something similar happened in this scene. She faced a professional criminal, created a bomb that he was going to create, even put her signature on it by adding peanuts, actually hurt him, and then warned him with knowledge of his personal life. And all without breaking a sweat.
Honestly, the sight of a terrorist kid who knows all your secrets and works for the assassin you were just trying to kill sounds like enough of a terrifying concept, enough to turn you away from a life of even professional crime. I mean, the guy already was thinking of giving up on that life, for the sake of his girlfriend and believing that it was a miracle he'd survived the Thorn Princess' massacre. It was just the immediate sight of her in his cover job that made him think it was his fallen comrades asking him for revenge. And he tries that with a poison, Yor shakes it off because she's a tank, and he goes for a last ditch effort with the bomb, but then a fucking kid creates that same bomb before him and lets him take the blast. And then tells him about his own secrets. He realizes he's out of his depth, he's being given a second (third?) chance, and decides the life of a criminal is over for him.
Honestly, I think it's fucking hilarious. Spy x Family manages to have an excellent amount of unhinged humor that somehow makes sense. Anya wasn't playing around. She literally made a bomb and exposed the man's secrets. It was enough to scare him off any attempt at continuing this life or his effort for revenge. And as weird as it is, it actually sounds pretty reasonable. Again, I'm not sure Anya grasps the full weight of her actions - she probably thinks that she scared him off because she was Cool™ and all that, when in fact it was because it's pretty scary to have a child bomb you and expose your secrets - but in a story with spies and assassins, I don't find it all that weird. It just adds to the unhinged humor of it all.
Cause yeah, despite how unhinged it all is, Spy x Family somehow touches reality in a very... "secure" way. I don't know if that's the right word to use, lol. It's just that even when characters have extreme reactions, it's always on something you can understand and maybe even sympathize with. Even when we're dealing with criminals such as that guy, it's always focused on humanity and a deep understanding of reality... but also in a very malleable way. Like, who would have thought this was the way to discourage the way from a life of crime forever? Tatsuya Endo, that's who.
(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)
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lewoooooo · 3 days
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Gaze
Jon would sometimes feel someone watching him, but that gaze was very keen and would disappear as soon as he noticed it.
It's not unpleasant, but it has an indescribable weight and discomfort.
Over time, Jon also had his own speculation.
That gaze disappeared again, and this time he finally couldn't help but ask: "Dami, why do you always look at me like this?"
Damian raised his eyebrows and retorted : "Don't think too much, I'm not looking at you."
Lie. But Jon didn't ask any further.
One morning after that, that familiar gaze was looking at him again. Jon half-squinted his eyes and reached out to hug the person next to him and pull him into the quilt.
Jon rubbed Damian's hair with his chin and kissed his forehead: "Will you tell me the answer this time?"
Quiet.
When Jon felt a little discouraged, he heard.
"I didn't mean to watch you, I'm just wondering...when will you leave."
His heart stung, Jon suddenly realized the question behind that gaze.
Jon hugged this unrevealing lover tightly and truly promised him: "Even if anything happens in the future, I will always come back to you and stay for you."
Damian listened to this beautiful promise that seemed like a lie. It was the best thing he had ever heard in his life, and it came from the mouth of his beloved.
So he put aside all assumptions and quietly fell asleep again with his lover.
🐦
Jon was almost clung to his side these days, always in his sight.
And his family ALL heard about it.
When he felt the stares from all sides while sitting at the dining table of Wayne's, Damian regretted and wanted to escape.
Turning his eyes, Jon was happily talking about these meal with Alfred, his amethyst eyes sparkling.
Damian felt like he'd forgotten what he wanted to do.
"HOLY SHIT. Old man, you probably really have to help this brat prepare for the wedding."
TODD.
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moonah-rose · 2 days
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Blind Love
Quick Robin & Original Character(s) ficlet.
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Set many, many years in the past, during one of the periods where Rogh "went mad for a bit".
Tw: insanity, delusion, grief, animal death
Aelfwyn and her sister had never been close. Their parents had done little to discourage rivalry and resentment between the two as they grew up. Quite the opposite in fact. Competition was seen as healthy for children growing up in their harsh, war-loving tribe. But their patents had taken it to extremes, showering one child's victories with praise and scolding the other, then when the girls turned their bitterness on each other, they were told to wrestle it out and not stop until one drew blood.
That blood had typically come from a nose bleed or a deep scratch across the cheek from sharpened fingernails. A couple of drops at most.
Not an entire puddle, enough to fill a goblet fit to offer to the Morrighan, gushing from a hole in one of their skulls after a blow from a rock had caved it open. As Aelfwyn stood and stared down at her own corpse, she thought maybe even her cruel parents would think this a tad too far.
Breathing heavily, she heard a thud as the rock fell to the ground. Her sister, Lliefa, was standing over her, pale as the snow. The anger that had burned in her eyes moments before as they'd scuffled was replaced with an almost childlike expression of terror and loss.
"Wynny....Wynny, sister, I am so sorry..." She began to weep, the tears falling down her cheeks disturbing the painted symbols that had been given to her on her coming of age ceremony only a few days earlier.
Only eighteen. Twins, though they didn't resemble each other. Lliefa had inherited their mother's emerald eyes and blessed red hair, while Aelfwyn had her father's square jaw and plain brown locks. Lliefa however, did have his temper.
Maybe that's why Aelfwyn found it hard to cling to her anger when the truth of what happened hit her. That was her body, her face that she'd seen from the rare reflecting glass that they were lucky to have hanging in their hut. It was her blood that soaked the grass.
She was dead. Killed by her own blood. But Aelfwyn could see the blow hadn't been intentional, or at least Lliefa hadn't been in her right mind at the time. If she had, she wouldn't be falling to her knees and throwing herself over Aeflwyn's body to weep as she now was.
Aelfwyn sighed, closing her eyes. Grandmother always advised her to breathe out all her unwanted rage as an offering to the Morrighan, or to Wotan. She knew she should be furious at her sister right now...but all she felt was sadness and pity.
Blood crimes were one of the biggest affronts to the gods. Siblings could slay each other in fair combat. But this had been a blow while her back was turned, an attack spurned from Aelfwyn saying cruel words she'd regret forever.
There was nothing she could do to the girl that would be worse than what the fates had in store for her.
"I forgive you, sister. Please, just return my body back to the tribe. Let me receive the proper rites so the gods will take me to the next world." She pleaded, reaching out to touch her sister's shoulder only for her hand to pass through.
The contact made her retch. She gagged, stomach lurching, despite not having eaten all day. They'd been sent out to hunt, their parents offering a reward to whoever came back with the largest kill.
She supposed Lliefa would win hands down. Aelfwyn hoped their parents would keep to their word.
It was rather painful to watch her sister try to carry her back to their settlement, being the shorter of the two of them. Aelfwyn tried to follow close, hoping her words with pierce through the veil.
"No don't pull me by my head! Look, you're making things fall out, that might make me dumber in this world!" Even in death, her sister still managed to vex her; "Maybe if you learned how to bind and carry your kills better instead of leaving it to me!"
But before she could rant some more, Aelfwyn took another step and then was shoved back in the opposite direction. She turned, blinked in confusion, then tried to follow again.
Same thing. Back away from the path.
"Sister! Sister, I'm trapped! Please do the ritual properly so I can be free, please! For Danu's sake, don't skip the part where you eat my heart!"
"Shh!"
She froze. Who just shushed her?
Turning to her left, she spotted a figure sat against the base of a tree. He'd managed to camouflage himself with the foliage as she'd approached but now she could spot the skin of a....man.
No, wait.
"Are you....Are you the Wild God of the Dead?!"
"SHHH!" He said again, a finger on his lips.
"Oh, I...sorry." She lowered her voice, not wanting to anger him if he was a god.
Though his image didn't resemble any carvings she had seen.
"Me just got her to sleep." He muttered, one arm curled against his chest.
He wore the most basic and mis matched selection of furs. No real fabrics or patterns. There were those who chose to live fully out in nature away from the tribes but they were usually shamans and nomads. This man looked as though he'd never slept in a hut in his life.
Or death, she supposed.
"Are you a spirit too?" She asked, quietly, stepping closer; "What's your name?"
"Dunno."
"You don't know your name?" She frowned.
He shook his head; "Name in shadows right now. Can't be bothered to go find. Shadow where memories go to hide when brain too loud and scary."
Definitely not a god, Aelfwyn realised. The man sounded like those in her tribe who smoked too much of the relaxing leaf until it wore off and paranoia sent them mad. How long had he been here?
"I'm Aelfwyn of the Horseli. What was your tribe called?"
The man blinked, tucking his arm up again; "Tribe no have name. Children of Moonah. Other tribe be children of Sunne. Other children of Earth Mother. Good tribe and...bad tribe."
"Where are they now?"
"....Gone. Gone up to stars. Me stay. Me always stay." The voice sounded so very old, even though there wasn't too many signs of age on him as one would expect. No grey hairs, hardly any wrinkles.
His blue eyes that didn't quite meet hers stared out in a deep, agonising loss that chilled her bones.
"You're all alone here?" She asked.
He began to laugh; "Ha....Ha ha! No, silly horsey tribe lady! Me not alone. Me have Moonah! Your tribe....They give thanks to Moonah, yes?"
Something in the way his brow furrowed told her she should answer carefully.
"We call her Rhiannön. Yes, we give thanks and ask for her blessings each month."
"Oh....Yes, have seen you and tribe do ritual at Moonah ston. Very good. We come and join you, though you not see us."
"Us?"
"Me and daughter."
"Oh. You have a child here?" She glanced around.
The man nodded; "You...want to meet?"
"Yes, I love kids. How old is she?" Her heart stung as she realised she'd now never have ones of her own, not in that life.
"She...She only just been born..."
Aelfwyn blinked; "I thought you said she was with us on the last full moon?" Almost a month ago.
"Me did."
It took a second for the penny to drop, horrifying Aelfwyn at the realisation. Of course if the baby was a spirit, like her father, she would still be a newborn if that was when...
"I'm....I'm so sorry."
"Why sorry?"
"I...never mind," She shook her head; "Can I still see her? I'm good with babies, I've helped my mum deliver a few."
"Okay...if promise to be very careful..."
"I swear by the gods."
The man leaned forward and pulled back a section of his fur covering his front. Aelfwyn nearly startled back before she heard the tiniest snuffling sound.
Peering closer, she spotted a tiny ball of grey fur curled against the man's chest. It twisted, mewling a little, then poking out a black dot of a nose.
"Ain't she bootiful. Me very proud dad." He smiled down, "Say hello to Horsie Lady, Kya."
"....It's a wolf pup." Said Aelfwyn.
Another chuckle from the man; "No, no, no, that just fur me swaddle her in. She look just like me, see? Have same ugly nose."
There may have been a wild resemblance between the two creatures but she was certain the little thing was not a human babe.
But the man was looking at it with as much devotion in his eyes as any parent she'd seen when holding their baby for the first time. She doubted there was anything she could say to convince him otherwise.
Aelfwyn forced a smile; "She's lovely. Her mum not here?"
The man's face darkened with weariness and pain.
"....Go up to stars with rest of tribe...They all go up and leave us behind..." He sighed and then twitched his head; "Too many babies. Mum can't feed them all. Little one die. Me wait. Me watch. Me listen to her cry and beg for milk but she left behind. Just like me. So I wait. Then when she stop cry, I pick up..."
Except the cub was still crying for milk it would never receive, nuzzling its nose against his skin and finding nothing to sate it.
"...She mine. She my cub. Her cry just like my Kya so she must be same...spirit reborn, yes?"
He seemed to be trying to rationalise it, probably due to how Aelfwyn was looking at him. She couldn't hide her doubt.
But then the druids did say part of their souls returned to the earth to be born anew.
"I understand." She nodded, wanting to placate the man; "Can I hold her?"
"You have milk for her?"
"Uhh...no." Even if she did, she didn't think that was something she'd be comfortable with in any world.
The man shook his head; "She keep wanting milk but I tell her that Daddy no have boobies to give milk. Have to wait until Mum come back with brothers and sisters. Not long now..."
She no longer knew if he meant his real family or the wolves that had abandoned their runt.
Aelfwyn looked down at the pup again. Its eyes were closed, probably forever, but it wriggled and pawed against the man.
"Shh, shh, little one, we safe. Horsie lady good me think...." He rocked the pup close; "She know my scent. My skin. It always dark for her, you see. She won't know who you are if I hand over. Might think me left...Can't ever leave. Never."
"That's okay. I won't take her-."
"No, no, no," He clutched the cub tight, shaking his head fearfully; "No take. Not last one. She all I have. Please."
"I said I won't touch her. Not if you don't want me to." She dared to reach and touch the man's shoulder instead.
He struggled to steady his breathing as he looked at her with those haunted eyes.
"....You have leak in head." He whispered.
Aelfwyn touched the back of her skull and felt the indent along with a moist matt in her hair. When she looked at her fingers there was no blood.
"Sibling rivalry." She tried to jape, as it was all she could do.
"Me try to stop. Yelled at you both to shut up so no wake baby."
"Sorry about that." She sat cross legged beside the man; "Maybe I can make it up to you by helping you look after her? Children aren't supposed to be raised alone."
He nodded; "....Everyone raise together. Peace and love..." He stroked his thumb over the soft, velvet ears of the cub; "She miss her mum and siblings and cousins...She miss a lot of people."
"I bet she does." Aelfwyn whispered, her heart aching for the poor man.
She'd always thought of wondering spirits as mysterious or wise, even playful. She'd never expected one to be so sad.
"Here..." The man carefully handed the cub to her; "Mind head. Best she get to know your scent."
"You sure?" She never thought she'd feel so honoured to be passed a wolf pup.
He nodded; "We family now. Aelfwyn of Horsey Tribe."
The pup whined in distress as she was moved away from the only source of comfort she knew and into Aelfwyn's arms. The man kept his arm close to her, the sleeve of grey wolf fur close to the pup's nose.
"Me here, Kya. Daddy right here. Daddy always stay." He promised, voice cracking; "She not hear me before when I say...When she and her mum found body and they scream...she not hear me say I here..."
His voice trailed off again as his eyes glossed over. Aelfwyn held the cub up to her skin above her dress so it was resting just above her heartbeat.
Her other hand reached to squeeze the man's fingers.
"She hears you now. She knows." She did her best to reassure him, just as she'd seen her mother do to anxious parents.
This was a whole other case she hadn't been trained for.
"You look tired. I bet she's been keeping you up all these nights like babies do." She said, softly.
The man nodded, "Been waiting for mum to take her turn...She be here soon...She always come back to visit....Be here very soon...."
"I'm sure she will. How about you try to have a nap? I'll look after this one. She'll be safe with me, I swear."
Hesitation and fear twitched in those lips again for a moment. Then he saw how the pup was starting to yawn and relax against Aelfwyn's chest.
He smiled, his eyelids clearly heavy. When had he last slept? No wonder he'd lost his mind.
"You wake when they come back? Please?"
"I will."
She tugged him to lay on his side and use her thigh as a pillow.
"Be good for horse lady, Kya. Daddy just take little sleep. Be good girl..." He whispered before closing his eyes; "Be good...Stay...Must always stay..."
Aelfwyn sighed, stroking the man's ragged mane while cradling the pup in her other arm. This was not how she imagined spending her afterlife. She hoped her sister would hurry up with the ritual so her spirit could move on...
Assuming that's how it worked. She wondered if she was desperate to become the same as the man on her lap, trapped and driven insane, clinging to whatever shred of company he could and convince himself it was his lost kin. The thought terrified her.
"We'll just have to wait and see, won't we Kya." She whispered to the cub.
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turtle-trash · 2 years
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I think. I might be regretting buying the game
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n0heart · 2 months
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.
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fortune-maiden · 7 months
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Today's theme is overthinking Shi Wudu the Water Tyrant and what his tyranny actually looks like
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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months
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you Know that phil is So [lying on his bed beaming writing in his diary kicking his legs] about liking orville
#would he keep a diary? on the one hand: writer. on the other hand: could be too busy (probably with the being a writer)#but other than that. just an immediately cheerful dynamic that only becomes More So#you've got phil doing the private little wave to orville even before he knows he has cause to work with him further#his little paroxysm of delight over orville's spontaneous melody in the lucky day scene#''what a guy!!!''#walking him home!!! modulations!!!#the power as well in that orville may also be generally cheerful But Like#especially regarding phil given that say: we can observe the moment when orville shows up in the 'til we meet again scene#where everyone is besides phil is some degree of outwardly perturbed & orville is entirely =] Just on the basis of phil's Energy....#(& from there becoming a bit more perturbed himself but After Their Duet he is not only once again entirely =] but is not discouraged from#it by even the more overt unraveling of affairs)#closing my eyes thinking of the lucky day scene thinking of the 'til we meet again scene thinking of summer stock '23 thank you All...#summer stock#orvphil#meanwhile like orville re: liking phil being like. as we see it is the Relief like ah whew; my dynamic / relationship with phil =]#not to say he can't/doesn't have paroxysms any more than phil isn't also / can't be calmed down smoothed over thx to orville lol#just a whole relationship here of Pleasant Surprises & Delight & nothing doing the trick like a little luck#and then of course you happened along....
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mod2amaryllis · 1 year
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my albino kribensis died tonight :( I'm still looking into it, I'll put like test details and stuff in the tags, I'm so at a loss....i found him probably minutes within death because i check on them so often. was going around saying goodnight to tanks before lights out and found him. super super bummed. it was barely more than a week but i really liked him...
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officialpenisenvy · 5 months
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If you think “both sides” of ace discourse have good points then you have picked a side.
just out of curiosity did you read anything i said on the matter beyond the first two lines of that ask
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asaxophony · 3 months
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Legitimately confusing to still see artists and ppl recommending glaze/nightshade and acting like it's the end all be all when how effective both are is still kind of eeeeeh?
Glaze also tends to chew up and compress your images to the point ppl have to go back in and put filters over it. There also seems to be a really large misunderstanding on how Glaze functions, especially on this site.
Glaze changes a specific range of the art ran through it to be read by diffusion as a different style. Generally it's changing pixels and code within the image so ultimately it does end up changing the image, often adding visual noise in the form of swirls or giving it a crunchy compressed look. Depending on how far you run the art through Glaze it can come out looking like a badly compressed jpeg. Glaze does this using the same sort of AI tech. The end result occasionally needs to be run through filters to get it too not look shit. The ultimate goal of Glaze is if someone is training directly from your art, and it's all been ran through Glaze the person won't be able to get a solid style from it, so the images trained off of it will be off from your specific style and not able to replicate it believably. It does not prevent img2img.
Generally Glaze's adversal noise is now robust enough to not be easily edited or taken out by the ai bros, this definitely was not the case on its release. So definitely use it but just keep in mind how it functions and weigh the pros and cons of like it crunching art, and any art posted on the web has a chance of being scraped.
I've seen some arguments basically being like well its the equivalent of crunching you art down into shitty jpegs, no one is going to train off of something that looks like shit which is I think definitely like yeah art has the downside of ot having to be visually vlear and good looking g for it to function so you can ultimately only change it so much before it deviates too much from the artists original intent and vision.
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camptw1nk · 1 year
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I wish tumblr was. Easier
#it just feels very. hard to kinda get things going sometimes#mostly its pretty easy on kurt but i can not emphasize enough that my other blogs are not inactive bc i dont want to do things#i log on to every blog i have every day and i try to reach out to people but. really only a small handful interact#and that handful follows me everywhere and is always trying and thats very nice!! i appreciate it a LOT!!!#but when a blog is at over 100 followers and u struggle to get more than 5 people to talk to you its. discouraging#esp bc so many people will also just. not read a single thing ab ur muse#there are people who have approached me who didn't know jason had powers. when that is. plastered everywhere#and that also happened when he had the url expheiriment and his graphics were entirely fire themed#like idk i have so many muses that i love and i try so hard with but no ones as excited as i am#and thats fine i dont expect them to get excited ab every muse its just. idk it feels like so much work to go on my other blogs#bc i show up and try to get interactions and a couple people send memes in but those memes wont always lead to more#i keep going to multimuse blogs so that i dont. have so many blogs that are ignored and i can tell myself im active and people care but#its usually only the same handful of muses that people care about#so ill make a solo blog for a passion muse but they're not one of the ones people were there for so it goes nowhere#idk im just. im very tired of tumblr but i dont want to leave you know#i just. idk i want to feel more like this is a fun little hobby and i can enjoy it but i dont. know how to do that#negative cw
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taylortruther · 2 years
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I find Taylor's fandom on tumblr very interesting. There are fans who say she should basically be killed off for all her wrongdoings, and then at the same time those who write things like "no, dont make theories about the next rerecording, taylor will feel sad because she'll be forced to release them >:(". But then again, it is in tumblr's nature to see everything in black and white, with zero space for gray areas, so I shouldn't be surprised :')
don't forget the part of the fandom will also make up theories about everything from release dates to her love life then get mad at her for not adhering to them
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whump-captain · 2 years
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No. 14 - Die a hero or live long enough to become a villain
Desperate measures | Failed escape | "I'll be right behind you"
1400 words | OC: Kintsugi
Taglist (feel free to ask to be added/removed!): @thatsgonnaleaveamark
ok so this is the Plot Twist Episode. i know ive been posting this entirely out if order but i do recommend reading this as like, the last in order of all the kintsugi stuff - you can find it all in the tag here. this also follows on directly from this prompt, like literally 5 minutes later. im excited for this tho, i finally get to push the story along 👀
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CN: gun use, theats of death, gun to head, murder, major character death, gore, mentions of past torture
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It was the cold wind that whipped consciousness back into Ethan's hollow mind. His legs were moving, carrying him in the direction that the shoves to his back were setting - but he had no control, he simply stumbled in a desperate attempt to keep upright. His whole body was aching, he couldn't feel his fingers, and white hot pain pulsed on the side of his neck where the newly burned skin had distorted and tightened.
The light outside seemed blinding, even though it was twilight and the flood lights were dimmed by fog. Ethan didn't dare to lift his head to look at the white-walled buildings and shipping containers; he kept his eyes fixed on his own shambling feet, on the snow swept across the concrete. A pair of boots appeared in his field of view, marching steadily alongside him. His breath caught and he had to set his teeth tight to stifle a useless plea. Linde wouldn't listen. He never listened. He just smiled and questioned, and grabbed, and punched, and burned, and Ethan couldn't breathe just looking at his shoes; just knowing that he was close. Cold terror gripped his lungs like a strangling fist.
A few more shaking steps carried him forward until he realized the next shove never came. He stood hunched over, huddled around himself against the wind and the waves of nauseating pain. Two pairs of footsteps behind him stopped as well.
Slowly, he risked a glance over his shoulder. Tears stung his eyes and dulled the lenses of his glasses as they froze into stains of frost. Hazed and swaying, the two figures behind him were little more than blurs of shadows on the snow.
But one of them moved and in the glint of light Ethan recognized the barrel of a gun.
"Alright, mate," said the female guard. "Last chance."
Ground fell away from under Ethan's feet. He whipped back around, buried his head in his shoulders, but the image was still there, embedded into his mind. He could feel it. The gun was inches away from him, it was hot, it burned through the air between them and fused itself to him.
It was there. It was right there, it was loaded, he could see it even though he screwed his eyes shut. Oh, God, it was right there and she was going to kill him, she was going to kill him.
"Please," he choked out. "Please, don't do this." He held his arms in the air, even though the left one hurt so much it made his knees wobble. This was it, this was the end and this pain would be the last thing he'd ever feel; it would swallow all he had ever hoped to be, it would shred and erase his future, end him right there and then, even though he had so much he had wanted to do, he- "I can't- die here," he begged. "I don't want to die here."
"Then you better start talking, innit?" The woman pulled back the hammer and the gentle click stabbed into Ethan's mind like a blade. "Give me the truth," she said.
"I'm not a spy!" he cried out. "I'm not anyone! Please, please believe me." His voice hitched and dissolved into sobs. "Oh, God, please, don't do this."
Violent shivers overtook him and his legs barely held him. Everything blurred, he hung in a void as white as the snow and unbearably, nauseatingly cold. Somewhere far away burned anger but it seemed to be someone else's. Ethan couldn't find the strength to feel it. The only thing his desperate mind knew was fear and pleading, and the constant, icy presence of the gun pointed at his head.
The hands holding that gun were steady. Lucy stood still like a block of ice, planted steadily into the frigid ground. But her thoughts raged like flames, flicking in and out of existence, too fast and too foreign for her to make sense of. What was she doing? Why was she here, with a pistol that didn't belong to her; why did she leave her rifle and follow Linde out to the back of the storage wing? All she had wanted was not to have to watch him murder someone.
How the fuck had she ended up aiming a gun at someone again?
I could put him out of his misery, she thought, watching Lythmer cower before her. It would be a mercy to shoot him - a simple, instant end; too fast to cause him any pain.
But she couldn't forget what he'd said. How he had told her he'd be out of here, surely, because he still had a future to witness. Those words had stuck with her, etched into the back of her mind and the burning echo of them was overpowering. Through the cacophony in her mind, she couldn't recognize the feeling as envy.
Linde was watching her, with an infuriating smirk curving his mouth again, as if he was catching her out on a mistake. She couldn't care less what he thought. She herself had no idea if what she was doing was right.
But she did know that she hated him.
Hated him for his obsession; for his twisted hunger for power. For his unchallenged willingness to torture and murder just so he could feel like a soldier again.
With all the blood on her hands, she should have felt like a hypocrite for that hatred but she didn't care. Her own past didn't matter now. Nothing mattered apart from this frozen moment in time, from the weight in her hand and the two men stood out here with her in the fog - the one before her, and the one behind her.
Only one of these men had a future. The other one had her gun to his head.
The thought of that lit a blinding, cavernous rage so brightly inside her heart that it spilled out into her lungs and then corroded her from the inside. Her hands shivered and she gripped the pistol tighter.
She only knew one way to deal with anger like this.
And she no longer cared if it was the right thing to do.
"That's your final word?" she asked, voice low.
Ethan Lythmer curled into himself tighter, his hands trembling. "Yes," he whispered. "Please."
"Alright."
Lucy spun around and shot Linde in the head.
The gunshot struck like thunder. Linde's skull exploded in a burst of blood and shattered bone and his body dropped like a sack of bricks. Ethan cried out and collapsed too, shielding his head with his arms.
Lucy holstered the gun and ran to the corpse. It cooled quickly under her hands as she rummaged through its pockets - she took a lighter, a personal first aid kit, an identity card. Her ears rang. She couldn't tell if it was the echo of the gunshot or the whiplash of sudden, absolute silence inside her mind.
All thoughts were gone. Her motions were mechanical, instinct pushing her through step after step of damage control. Double-check the kill. Search body. Take anything useful. Cover tracks.
Regroup.
She tore the jacket off of Linde's stiff shoulders and took the cotton bandanna from his neck. Then she ran back to Ethan's side.
"Get up," she barked, grabbing his good elbow. "There's no time."
He flinched at the touch. She held tight, but let his wide eyes search her face before she moved again. Terror fought with confusion in his expression, she could almost see his thoughts racing.
"Come on," she rushed him.
She pulled him up, slipping her shoulder under his arm just in case. But he managed to get his feet under him and stood uncertainly, shaking all over.
Lucy held Linde's jacket out to him. His face turned grey and he flicked a gaze towards the corpse in the snow. For fuck's sake, there was no time. She took off her own jacket and shoved it into his hand. "Put it on," she ordered.
She put the stolen jacket on herself. Then she drew her gun again and pointed out into the fog.
"We're going to the fence," she said. "Fast, but don't run. There'll be a service gate further left."
Ethan hesitated, drawing the jacket tight around himself.
"We have to go!" Lucy shouted.
He flinched again. But then he set his jaw tight and gave a small, trembling nod.
"Okay," he said, voice strained. "I'm right behind you."
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im2tired4usernames · 30 days
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Every single time I defend someone shitty who has done nothing but be a cunt to me because they did 1 (ONE ) decent thing THEY ALWAYS TURN AROUND AND DO SOMETHING SO MUCH WORSE TO ME
#every single time i praise aomeone for turning a new leaf they fuck me over#my life is continuing getting worse and worse and worse and worse and i really don't know how much longer i want to deal with this shit#if things do not change soon I'm quitting I'll run away and i will never come back#i praise y sister for growing up she steals and then lies about it and i print with out a shadow of a doubt she did it wont admit it#coworker who bums job off onto me dose. one piece of work then fucked off and dowe nothing else all day then spreads rumors i lied about my#moms cancer#like i can pull up her obituary bitch#dad dose 1 nice thing then like let's me go to bed instead of doing all the dishes that accumulate while i was at work#then need day turns me back into a slave#is goin to marry his yandere bitch gf my mother has not been dead a year yet good for him#I'm done#i hate being alive i can't daydream about anything anymore except death#i used to be able to daydream ocs n stories that stopped years ago then it was day dreaming about a better life with my wife#that's hard to believe it'll ever happen in just trapped and my dad constantly discourages me getting independent or doin anything for mysel#no don't get a full time job don't move out you cam never do it no don't try to learn sewing again doing try dnd again doing make new friend#don't do anything to make like nice#I'm allowed Wednesday nights after the kids go to church and that's it and if it clashes with family aucks to be me#and i don't get to make. it up the next day like dad#i cant stand my life i hate it so much#i hate my family minus my four youngest siblings#i hate my job i hate waking up i hate feeling exhausted all the time#being alive is disappointment and work I'm tired of it#I'm tired#i dont want to do this anymore#i need something to change but I'm trapped nothing will change unless i do it#and i hate that I'll probably have to leave ao much behind
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causticsunshine · 3 months
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