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peacedolantwins · 5 years

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Pain and Embarrassment pt 3

part of my family series

part 1

part 2

It had been 3 months since Ethan decided to ruin not only your relationship, but also the relationship he had with his kids. You had hardly spoken to him since you went out to California to be with your family. You had only called a few times to let him know that you would be back in time for the kids to start school in the fall.

There was so much he wanted to tell you, apologize for, but each time he tried either he couldnt find the words or you hung up before he got the chance to say anything. He had hardly talked to his kids these past months. Skylar and Connor wanted nothing to do with him. He expected as much from Connor, but Sky not wanting to talk to him hurt more than he thought it would. Everyone was handling this differently and coping the best they could.

The little girl who was his whole world from the moment she was born didnt want to talk to her dad. The one man she thought would never hurt her, the one she thought she could trust with her whole heart and would always be there was the one who just did the most damage. She couldnt understand how Ethan could have done something like this to not only you but to her family. The girl Ethan cheated with was only a few years older than she was and she couldnt help but think about all the times she had been to his office and had conversations with this woman. She felt like she had a part to play in this for not seeing it.

Connor not wanting to talk to him hurt in a different way than the rest. Ethan knew he could try and patch up his relationship with the other kids but it felt like there was nothing left to try and fix with Connor. He was gone all the time overseas, he had limited communication and he only came home once in a blue moon. There was no way he could try and sit down with his son unless Connor allowed it and he severely doubted that was going to happen anytime soon. Ethan knew that you were Connors whole world, you could do no wrong in his eyes and he practically worshiped the ground you walked on and while the other kids would tease him about being a mamas boy, Ethan was proud his son was so protective of you. However, this is when it seems to have backfired on him because as soon as he lost you he should have known he’d lose his son too.

Alex and Riley were understandably upset with him. They spoke to him a few times just to call and check in and let Ethan know they were okay. While they havent forgiven him, they wanted to try and move on. He was their dad, and while that doesnt give him a pass for what he did, they love him.

Noah, always looking up to Connor, followed in his big brothers steps and decided he didnt want to talk to Ethan at all. The only times Ethan managed to get Noah on the phone was when you forced him to because while Ethan hurt you, you werent going to cut him off from his own children as much as you might have wanted to. The few conversations he had with his son were short and to the point. Simple answers, he wouldnt talk about anything and Noah always kept the calls under five minutes, almost as if he had a timer running in the background and the dial tone was the alarm that let Ethan know his time was up.

Elise was the only one who would talk to him. She knew something was wrong, she knew he cheated but she didnt completely understand it and what it meant. She knew you were upset with Ethan but she only saw it as another fight that the two of you had and that you would all be okay once everyone said sorry. She missed her dad. She told you as much and she asked when you would be going back home.

And then there was you. You were trying to figure out what all of this meant for you. The relationship you had with Ethan was ruined, you knew that much for sure. But were you going to go back to New Jersey? Still live with the man who cheated on you in your own house? In your own bed? Part of you wanted to try and fix this, if not for you then for your kids. But was this something that could be fixed? You didnt think this was.

At first you were hurt when you found out. Why would your husband do this? Why would he go out and cheat repeatedly while you were home and suspected nothing? Was it something that you did that drove him to this other woman? Was it because you lost the baby? It was something that you two had argued about before and according to Ethan, the timeline matched up.

But the more you thought about it, while you were still hurt, you were angry now. None of this was your fault. You were not responsible for your cheating husband under any circumstances. He made his own choices freely and that wasnt on you. He was the one who messed up and ruined what you two had. Once you had realized all of this you were finally able to start moving on.

You still wanted answers from Ethan, but the answers wouldnt change anything. Your marriage was over, but hearing his explanation would help give you the closure you needed.

It was now August and the kids would be starting school in a few weeks so it was time to head back to Jersey. The twins had decided to do online school, not wanting to deal with their classmates and you respected that choice. You felt they were old enough to make that choice for themselves. You had asked Noah if he wanted to do the same but he was very much against it because that meant he would be home more often with Ethan and he would much rather deal with kids at school then spend more time with his cheating father. Lizzy however was excited to go back to school because that meant she got to see her friends again and spend time with her dad who she hasnt seen all summer.

You had already talked to Grayson about picking you up from the airport and taking the kids with him for a few hours. You wanted to be able to talk to Ethan alone first without the kids being there in case things got heated between you two. They didnt need to listen to the possible yelling. And Grayson was more than happy to get to spend some time with his niece and nephew. He dropped you off with all the luggage back at the house you shared with Ethan and left with the kids.

You took a breath and dragged the bags up the porch and into the house and left them by the stairs. The kids could use unpacking as an excuse not to talk to Ethan if they wanted to. You were debating about where to take your things when Ethan came in from the living room.

“Hey,” he said hesitantly.

“Hi,” you didnt know what else to say.

“I, uh, I moved to one of the guest rooms so you can take our room,” Ethan rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“No, I’ll take one of the rooms.” There was no way you were willingly sleeping in the same bed he had sex with that girl in. He made his bed, now he can lay in it. Literally.

Ethan seemed to have come to the same realization and simply nodded.

“You cut your hair,” he motioned to your hair that was now just above your shoulders.

“Yeah, heard you had a thing for girls with long hair,” you replied and pushed your hair back behind your ear, not seeing him flinch at your words. Your long hair had reminded you of the girl with waist long hair he cheated with and you cut yours as soon as you could.

“Y/n,” you could see the pain in his eyes at your remark. Good. He had no right to be the one who hurt.

“What?” What was there to say?

“Are we seriously going to start this now?” He has gone from apologetic to now annoyed.

“I’m not starting anything, you did that when you couldn’t keep it in your pants,” you pointed out.

“Y/n, I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry I cheated, it was a mistake.”

“A mistake? Ethan, a mistake is putting a red shirt with the white clothes. A mistake is forgetting to pick up something from the store. A mistake is something you can forgive. A mistake is an accident. You don’t accidentally have sex with someone over and over again. You did that knowing what the consequences would be and you did it anyway! You don’t get to stand there and tell me this was a mistake!” You were shouting at this point but you didn’t care.

“You know the sad thing is that maybe, just maybe, I could have forgiven the first time. Maybe it would have been something we could fix. But this? This is so broken there’s nothing left to fix.”

“No, no, we can work through this. We can, I don’t know, go to counseling or something, but Y/n please,” he wasn’t going to let this end. He couldn’t.

“I want a divorce.” You said simply and took out the folder of documents that had to be signed.

“Y/n,” he said quietly.

“Please don’t fight me on this. After what you put me through it’s the least you can give me. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. We don’t need to waste money on lawyers. Sign it and we can move on.” You held out the folder to him.

“I’m not going to sign that,” he took a step back from the offending papers.

“Ethan please.”

“No.”

“Why not? Ethan this marriage is over. There’s nothing left here, not after this. You clearly didn’t care about us when you decided to cheat on me so just sign the damn papers!” You shoved the folder to his chest only for it to fall to the ground when he failed to catch it.

“No! Because once I sign this that means we’re done. That means that you’re gone and I’ll have nothing left! I’ll lose you completely and call me selfish but I don’t want that! I want to fix this Y/n, please.” Ethan looked close to tears at this point. He knew he fucked up but he didn’t think you would bring up divorce this soon and he definitely wasn’t expecting you to have the papers with you as soon as you came home.

“Well I don’t! Would you forgive me if I had an affair? If I slept with someone I worked with over and over again? If I went public about it before I told you? If I brought this person into our bed for over a year?”

Silence.

“I didn’t think so. And I wouldn’t expect you to forgive something like that. So please don’t ask the same of me.” You pleaded with him.

“You expect me not to fight for my family? Y/n, you and the kids are my whole world. And I’m so sorry that I fucked it all up. But if you think I’m going to just let you walk out of my life without a fight you’re wrong.”

You let out a deep breath and walked over to the couch closest to you and sat down. Ethan moved to sit across from you, still leaving the folder on the floor. A small part of you wondered if his mistress sat on this same couch that your kids would spend hours on or if he kept her limited to your bed.

“Ethan I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. I’m not gonna change my mind on this so please don’t drag it out longer than it needs to be. I appreciate that you want to fight for this relationship but it’s useless. I’m sorry but I am not going to sit here and let you think there’s a chance of forgetting what happened because there’s not.” Why give him a flicker of hope when there was none?

“So what? You’re just gonna go? Take the kids with you? They’re my kids too.” If Ethan couldn’t fight for you anymore there wasn’t a chance in hell he wasn’t going to fight for his children.

“I never said I was leaving. Or that I was going to take them. Despite all of this, I don’t want to split up this family. The kids don’t deserve that and as their mother it’s my job to take care of them regardless of what happened and how I feel. They come first. Always.” You could be civil with Ethan but things were never going to be the same.

“I would still live here, in another room obviously. Think of it as having a roommate who you just happen to be raising children with.”

“You’ve thought it through havent you?” You could see the defeat starting to take over his features.

“I have.” You nodded. “We’ve all been through enough. We don’t need more change. And if this is something we can’t live with, we cross that bridge when we get to it and figure out what to do then. I don’t want to split up this family if I don’t have to, but Ethan I need you to sign the papers. I can’t let myself be legally bound to you after all of this. I just can’t.”

Ethan seemed to accept this. He didn’t look thrilled about it but he seemed to understand.

“I still want a lawyer to go over it before I sign it,” he said it so quietly you almost didn’t hear him.

“Of course. Thank you,” you were glad he was agreeing to it.

You got up to go into one of the guest rooms that would now be yours when you heard him call your name.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?” You stopped and turned.

“Are we ever going to be okay?” He looked up at you from where he still sat on the couch.

Would you? You hadn’t really thought that far ahead about the situation.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I hope we can eventually, for what it’s worth. But it’s going to take time.”

Ethan simply nodded at your response.

You grabbed your luggage from where you left it at the stairs and dragged it off to your new room. Everything might still be broken but that’s all it is. Broken. It can be fixed over time but the scars and cracks will always be there. Only time will make this whole thing fade away.

@pgm-dolan @dolandolll @dolanshellyes @mysecretsaremydemons @mmmmmgd @ethandolxns @dolantwinsfavss@knee-deep-in-feels @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @sarcasm-at-its-finest2444 @fandomsfeministsandothershit @graydolan12 @ilsolee @inlovewithethandolan @someonedoingnothing @vintagebitttch @sunshinedolantwins @chonisberonica @ardordolan @ethantasy @wasabisama331 @graysavant @atlas-of-a-human-soul @wolfpuppii009 @livexdolan if you wanna be added/want me to stop tagging you just let me know

also pls comment/like/reblog it makes me feel better about myself and gives the validation i desperately crave thank you

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drkcnry67 · 4 years

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join me?

title: join me?

pairing: Jared x reader

rating: 18+

fluff: single parent AU

kink: shower sex

tags: shower sex, single parent x single nanny, vaginal penetration, climax, asking someone you know to become your partner in raising your child

summery: not telling

mentioning @sweetness47

created for @spnfluffbingo @spnkinkbingo

kink list fluff list

the following AD you had placed on all the job boards:

“if you are a Single parent in need of someone to move in to help look after your kids, clean, cook for you Im that person. obviously i can cook, clean, drive, shop for groceries you know the esentials. basically anything you would require of me i can accomplish. call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx, to discuss details. sincerely YN. PS im willing to relocate if needbe. thank you for reading this.”

just like that it was done, it was posted. now, all you had to do was wait. someone was bound to call eventually.

after 3 weeks you were about to re-post the ad, your phone rang. someone from san Antonio, as far as you were concerned you knew of no one who lived in that corner of the world.

you took a chance and answered the call.

YN: hello!

Jared: yes, im looking for YN

YN: thats me

Jared: perfect, my name is Jared Padalecki. i’m a single father to a 4 year old boy named Thomas. he’s my mess maker & i love him to bits. but balancing between work and parenting is alot harder than most people think. my wife had divorced me she felt like i didnt care enough about her or the foundation she built, so one night she walked out and i havent seen her since. so anyway i was looking through the ads for live in nanny when i came across yours. your ad drew me to it, im sorry if this sounds too forward but its been hard.

YN: not at all. so what are the terms of this job?

Jared: well, as we speak im just finishing the details of your flight to San Antonio which first of all i need your current location like where you are coming from and how much baggage you are bringing.

YN: thats very kind of you to book me a flight. im coming from San Francisco with 3 suitcases and 2 carry ons. most of it are small keepsakes and other sich clothing items i pick up along the way. but not a big deal i just dont have a permenant home to leave anything at. so if you dont mind me coming with all my little nik naks and figurines...

Jared chuckled in the background before he spoke.

Jared: girl, i think we can deal with that. ill buy some wall shelves and a special case for your statues and figures, with enough room that should you want more you can get more. There will be a vehicle you can use to transport my son to school and do errands and stuff like that, there will be a spare room included for you with your own bathroom. The shopping can be done by you after you drop my son off to school on a day of your choosing. If you like all that your duties do not include yard maintenence. You are free to take my son out for shopping trips as well, you get a shared card to my all expense account to do all your spending for the house and for yourself. It goes straight to my account it's all good. I want your time here to be awesome.

YN: this is my cell, please tell me you have some good news about my flight details.

Jared: check your texts.

You check your messages before you go back to the call.

YN: thats a good flight, so what kind of plans are for when i get there.

Jared: well if you want we can go get the groceries when you arrive, after we leave the airport. then we can go for lunch and get you a few pretty things. sign some bank papers to put your name in my accounts.

Yn: that sounds good, I've just sent notice to my landlord, I'm just packing up some of my figures now. I'm gonna have to get my license and stuff switched over to Texas state license but I'm excited for this.

Jared: i know as am i its been a while since we had any type of female presence in the house. we havent any such thing, but tomorrow that all changes. i know that you are gonna bring a light into our lives that hasnt been here in well ever.

YN: glad i can help, now lets see whats the day tomorrow yields.

Jared: i am so excited, so is my son. he keeps asking when you are gonna be here. but it is gonna be a happy day tomorrow. i know that this is gonna sound strange, but i hope your the one that can save me.

you heard his tone change instantly, you felt the power coming from it. you felt the wet in your panties. you were not okay in the slightest. but you felt amazing at the same time.

YN: i guess ill let you go. ill shoot you a text when i get to the airport. cause i want to help you. i want to be the one to save you.

neither of you knew what the hell just happened, neither of you would remember what was said, at the end of it neither of you would be able to state the words of the other. it will remain that way till a different day in the near off future.

Jared: ill see you tomorrow... YN.

YN: jared.

the call ended, it was the moment when you felt like you could breathe again. the moment when you felt as though it would be your last. the moment when you felt like you were on cloud 9.

you went to the cornerstore to get a few travel items. a few other things as well. a lot of times before you travel you do this kind of big shop, but this time was not like most times. Jared was providing everything for you, you had to bring you and what you currently owned, as well as your documents and stuff like that.

after cleaning most of what you could in the apartment, you set your alarm and went to bed. you woke up to your 6:00am alarm. it was a long time but you were also a good half hour to the airport. you wanted plenty of time for check in and travel distance.

finishing packing, leaving your keys to the apartment in the hands of your landlord who helped you bring your bags out the front door. she wished you a safe trip and to call if you were ever in the area again.

you brought your bags to the cab and got in. you told the driver to take you to the airport. upon arrival at the airport, the cab driver helped you load your bags onto a cart and drove off. you pushed the cart into the airport, went to the check in desk.

check in lady: may i see your ticket and passport please?

You hand over your ticket and passsport. the lady scans your ticket and hands both your passport and ticket back to you.

check in lady: alright your good to go, the gift shop is open if you want to stop there, its just on your left passed security.

Yn: do I give you my suitcases! Well at least the ones that aren't carry ons.

Check in lady ushers for a security guard to come round to take the 3 suitcases from you. To which you smile and thank them and head off to go through security.

Security guard: please put all your bags in a bin, your jacket and shoes as well as your jewelry in this bin and then you can stand on this square we will bring you through and go from there.

you did as asked. you complied you went to stand on the square, were waved through, the thing didnt beep but you were still patted down and then given your stuff back. sent on your merry way, you were happily walking through the airport again.

you went to the gift shop, you were buying a few puzzle books to keep you entertained on the flight. as well as a dress off the rack and some playing cards (one of each type), and some statues. these ones were small but made you smile.

you paid for everything and then went to the bathroom to change and organize your bags. you come out of the bathroom, your hair is up in a ponytail. you go take a seat holding your passport and ticket.

after half hour of sitting there, your flight number was called. You pulled out your phone, texting Jared.

Yn (by text): morning, I am about to board my flight

Jared (by text): morning, I hope you have a safe flight, Thom and i cant wait to see you. Thom made you a sign we will be holding it, you have my word and honor that we will be good, we will all get along quite good.

YN (by text): of course, as do i. i look forward to getting to San Antonio and beginning a new life. the pre flight is starting ill let you know when i land.

Jared (by text): have a safe flight. see you in a few hours. i gotta bathe the kiddo.

The pre flight took a bit longer than you thought it would, but Jared's message was one you ended up saving as a screenshot. You listened to your music when the flight attendant said we were free to use the screens ahead of us and whatever else.

You even did some puzzle books and wrote in your journal.

You were nervous, of course you were nervous. This was the first time you were gonna meet a single dad and a son. Thoughts of what they might look like floated through your mind. The thoughts of the life you were stepping into were beyond what your mind could conjour.

But the way he spoke to you said something about saving you, made you wonder if something more was happening to him.

Something maybe in his past that might be coming after him now. There was a darkness in his voice that you couldn't shake.

But you shoke it off, you were not gonna let these thoughts consume you. You waited for the hours to pass, and they did rather quickly.

For what was once 30 mins that had passed, became an hour and a half. You were almost there. 8 am quickly turned into 1030am there was still half hour to go.

This was it the landing checks the whole pack up whatever you took out, close the trays un recline your seats, take out and shut off your music speech came quickly. You put away the books and things, you held your phone in one hand using the other to get up form your seat. You followed the people out of the plane.

You walked out onto the concourse and made sure you were lookin good before you stepped onto the escalator.

Jared was watching, but when his eyes landed on you coming toward him he smiled. He couldn't help himself. A little voice in his head told him not to smile, but to jump you instead. Jared ignored that voice for he didn't want to do anything harmful with Thom around. Even then he wouldn't. he instead watched you walk toward him.

Jared: YN.

YN: you must be Jared. It is a pleasure to meet you.

You both shake hands but a spark flows between both of your hands. Before you place your bags on the ground and look at Thom.

YN: you must be the little cutie. Did you make this sign all by yourself?

Thom nods and gives you a hug which you graciously return. You were feeling happy.

Jared: i think we should go wait by the luggage bay so we can grab your luggage. Then we can head off for lunch and shopping and paper filling.

YN: the luggage should have started coming out by now anyway right?

Jared: possibly. But i want to hear more about you, your adventures and can i just say that dress is delectable.

There it was again, that deep dark tone to his voice. He now held his hand out for your bags as Thom was urging for you to carry him. Jared carried your carry ons, you carried Thom who just smiled happily.

Jared: ive never seen Thom take kindly to anyone before. This is gonna work out just fine.

YN: thom is so sweet, i look forward to working with him on a daily basis. I also look forward to helping you with the house.

You smiled as thom came up to you and sat in your lap. Jared just watched amazed by your skill with kids.

As the luggage came round you pointed out your suitcases to Jared who grabbed them placing them on the cart.

You held thom who just contently hugged you. He nestled himself against the crook of your neck, soft snores filled yours and Jared's ears shortly after.

Jared: he barely slept last night he was too excited. I'm not surprised that he is sleeping now.

Jared says as you all walk to the car, Jared with the luggage cart, you holding thom. You gently placed thom in the car, you watch Jared place the luggage in the trunk.

Jared: and you are the miracle worker, he is asleep. He will sleep till we wake him for lunch. He will also hopefully sleep through the bank and licencing appointments.

Before he could say another word you went over and gave him a kiss to his cheek. The air between you both was growing thin.

This would have been your first kiss if not for the fact that jared’s watch went off.

Jared: we have to be at the bank in half an hour. Which is perfect but first i want to try something. Just dont move.

You didnt move you stood there as Jared slid his hand around your waist. And placed a soft kiss to your neck. Then moved to whisper in your ear.

Jared: a little bit of food for thought. The darkness is growing inside me and i swear i will hold it back as long as i can. But you need to understand you are the only one who can stop the darkness.

You went round to your side of the vehicle. Feeling a little flustered. Jared was behind you, you turned to see him, his eyes starring at you. His hand on your own, you feel a spark, you feel that same spark that you both had felt back in the airport, when you first met.

The ride to the bank was good, you and jared talked and went over a list for shopping and made a list of things to do when you arrived to Jared’s home. You were done the bank & licensing appointments.

Deciding that it would be easier pick up take out for lunch as Thom was still sleeping. Like he was out like a light. You guys were able to quickly go in follow the list and get everything on the list. Finally on the road with lunch and heading home to Jareds.

YN: so i guess i will need to set up some stuff and unpack.

Jared: ill even help you set up and build the shelving and things. Believe me your suite is gonna be your style when we are through with it. We are almost there. Then we will get you settled. And its still early in the day.

YN: lets hope that we can get a majority of this done before thom wakes up.

Jared: or at least un pack the car or have the lawn care people help with that as well. Ill just pay them extra for it.

Within a few moments after that you guys pull dup to a gate, where Jared used a key card to open it.

Jared: welcome to your new home YN!

From that point in the day you and Jared and thom spent it getting acquainted, you did some schooling with thom, jaredd helped you set up your suite, Jared and you celebrated with a glass of wine each before bed from then on. More little moments were stollen like the one that happened in the airport.

Something worse would be a drift in the near future. you didnt know what but you had a feeling that something would come to light that you would never expect in a million years.

~its now been 8 months and 12 days since you came to live with Jared and Thom. you settled in quite nicely. you drove back and forth to get thom to and from school, you cooked, cleaned and you happily did all the laundry. now we start our story again on the last day of school, with you just having picked up Thom from school and are in the car driving back home~

you had just gotten on the freeway Thom had passed out a while back for his afternoon nap. you were just happy for a small moment of peace and quiet. but your bluetooth came through the car at a volume that thankfully didnt wake Thom.

you saw it was Jared so obviously you answered.

Jared: hey hows it going?

Yn: good, thom is having a nap, im just on the freeway. how was work?

Jared: good, i couldnt wait for the day to be over. i have a surprise for you.

YN: for me or for me and thom or for all 3 of us

Jared: call it a family surprise.

YN: wait im part of the family. none of my jobs previously had ever considered me part of the family. its nice to finally be included in an actual family.

you could hear jared chuckle before he continued to speak.

Jared: i know you are new to the whole permenant family thing, and we are always gonna have a home here for you. but i want to celebrate the start of summer with a tradition.

YN: something new or something old?

Jared: a new tradition one that starts as soon as you guys get home...

YN: and will i need to pack a bag?

Jared: yes although i had my assistant at work go out and buy you a few new things for this trip today, so how long till you guys get home...

suddenly thom pipes up from the background.

thom: hi daddy.

Jared: hey little man, ive got a surprise for you when you and YN get home.

YN: we will see you in 10 minutes jared.

Jared: see you in the driveway

the call ended and you handed thom a sucker from your center console. he smiled and giggled all the rest of the way home. you pulled into the driveway parking in your normal spot.

Jared comes round to bring thom out first, after spinning him around before setting him down on the ground, he comes round to your side. he opens the door and extends his hand to you.

he helps you out of the car, and walks you to the door. where you all enter before Jared send thom up to his room to get ready. guess he had told thom the secret before he told you, but you were now standing in the living room with Jared who turns to you.

YN: what is the big surprise, i assume you told Thom and thats why he ran upstairs all excited.

Jared: i bought us a vacation house about 2 months ago. it is all season, and we get to go there and spend these next 6 weeks there. its in canyon lake about 2 hours by car. thom will probably sleep at least part of the way there. but YN i want you to know that i have a secret one that has me flustered enough to internally keep it from you for he is the glue that holds us together. but i wonder if perhaps we as in us 2 have a few things we can be together.

before you could respond Jared leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, for those 2 seconds it was like heaven had shot you with an arrow.

Jared pulled back and began to walk toward the kitchen to pack some trip snacks and drinks. but before leaving you alone in the living room he spoke.

Jared: ill leave you with that food for thought for it will be something to definately make conversation about later.

That kiss, your only real first kiss. Made you extremely excited. But the drive the 2 hour drive had you all hot and bothered. you went to pack your stuff in your bag. well at least thats what you thought, when you got to your room, you saw a suitcase, one filled with yours and Jareds stuff. maybe you guys were traveling light or there was already stuff out there for you guys.

you packed your journals, some games and a few books and of course a deck of cards in your backpack. you wheeled the suitcase out of the suite while carrying the backpack. then you went back in to put your hair back.

you heard someone calling your name. you answered the call and heard footsteps coming to your room. you turned to see Jared standing there, like nothing had happened downstairs.

Jared: are we almost ready to go?

YN: almost. just gonna get into something a bit more vacay less public appearance. meet you down in 2...

Jared: wear something sexy. i guarantee that you will be the hottest thing in the car. and you can pick the music.

you grabbed something out of the closet and took it into the bathroom. you came out to see Jared standing not facing you. till you would speak woulkd be when he would know you were there.

YN: does that mean we are bluetoothing it all the way there.

Jared: got the wireless charging pad installed and all ready to go. plus i hooked your phone to the bluetooth already. now when you are ready we will head out.

YN: i know. jared are we gonna discuss what happened between us downstairs?

Jared: that kind of talk is better suited for vacation.

thom is waiting by the door, you and jared bring down the last of the stuff. thom just as excited about this vacation as any little child should be. everything was loaded in the car, you went to lock the house and set the alarm. but before setting the alarm, you said the one word that you were sure might confirm your suspicions.

YN: christo!

the cross on the wall near by turned upside down. you finished setting the alarm after salting the doors and windows. only hoping that this would be easy, but now you were certain that you had figured out the darkness that Jared kept mentioning.

you went to the car, sitting down you nodded at Jared to start driving. and it was declared right then and there that you all were officially on vacation. Thom sat quietly and eventually passed out. your music playing in the background, Jared realizing that Thom had fallen asleep moved his hand to rest on your thigh.

this made you look at him, the darkness in his eyes faded when you placed your hand on his. the darkness that starred at you, the way his hand tightened on your thigh. you were the luckiest girl in the world. you hoped that this vacay would yield the answers you hoped you didnt need.

over the last little while you had done research on what you thought might be the darkness latched to Jared. after what happened in the house before you left with the cross. you were certain. Jared was possessed. and you had to stop this thing from doing something he would regret.

your mind circled with those thoughts, but a voice brought you out of your own mind.

Jared: you have been quiet, is everythign alright?

YN: yes everything is fine. just going over the list and making sure we dont need to have the lawn people do any extra tasks while we are gone.

jared: why do you think we forgot something?

YN: its just a feeling. but its nothing to worry about. now when we get there i assume that we are gonne have a tour and a chance to unpack before we decide our first vacation activity.

Jared: i also hope you dont mind sharing a room with me. its a little 5 bedroom cottage but the 3rd, 4th and 5th rooms are supposed to be guest rooms. they only has a cot and no closet. we are just waiting on a few parts to be reno’d in there.

YN: i think i can live with this arrangement. thom i assume is gonna be in a room close by.

Jared: yep he is at one end of the hall we are at the other. you know when i called you all those months ago, asking you to fly out here to help me, i was ready to give up on finding someone to help me take care of the house and Thom. but your ad made me have hope that maybe you would be the one that would save me.

YN: i think i know what darkness follows you but i wont know forsure until i can run a test.

Jared: what kind of test

YN: one that would need to be done when Thom is asleep. one that i hope will either prove me right or prove me a liar. that is if your willing to try.

Jared: im willing to try anything.

YN: well then we will try it tonight after Thom goes to bed.

neither of you had realized how much time had passed, then you saw a sign. Jared smiled.

Jared: we are close now.

YN: that sign that i just saw is that where we are going?

Jared: yep. once you se the place you will understand why i got it. and i sound proofed the master, just in case...

he winked at you as he slowed down at the edge of a driveway. he then guided your gaze to look ahead at the cottage that now stod before you.

Thom woke up shortly after you had pulled him out of the car. he rubbed his eyes and smiled as he ran toward the house, screaming happily as he approached the steps. where he waited for you and Jared.

you both brought what you could while still having hands to open the door and help Thom up the stairs. jared unlocked the door allowing you and thom to walk through first. your eyes went wide at the first glance of your home away from home with Jared and Thom.

this was gonna be an amazing vacation. you put down what you carried, as well as let go of Thom who was running around looking at everything. you spun round and somehow landed in the arms of Jared.

Jared: what do you think?

YN: what do i think.. this is amazing. i love this. this is incredible. i wouldnt trade this vacation for anything. honestly i would rather be no where else. im quite happy here.

Jared: as in this home or my arms.

YN: both. jared, i i...

just as your about to speak again. you and jared are interrupted by thom coming out of a nearby room half dressed.

Thom: daddy, YN can we go swimming now...

jared set you back on your feet and you both laughed.

Jared: in a few moments bud we gotta find the swim suits first.

as Jared said that the attendants brought up the luggage. you looked at Jared who just smiled and whispered in your ear.

Jared: you have the summer off to relax for 6 weeks. just be normal with me and Thom. these next hours could prove several things for us. starting with lets take Thom swimming and then go from there. we will hopefully eat when we return. the attendants are already preparing supper.

you could do nothing except smile. it was already turning into a really steamy vacay. you went to where you saw jared going through your shared suitcase. first chance you got you grabbed your bikini and cover.

you went into the nearby spare room closing the door behind you. you get changed, you could hear Jared ask one of the attendants to take Thom to find him a life jacket from the boat house. then you heard silence.

then you heard the sound of the door knob turning, you were only half done tying your bikini. when Jared walked in shirtless and wearing his swim trunks.

Jared: need help?

you froze in place at his words it was like your actions were not your own. it was a few seconds after that you felt his hands around your waist sliding slowly up your back.

Jared: i wish we had this place to ourselves. we would not be leaving that master suite for a while.

YN: i wish Thom was asleep so i could take away your darkness.

Jared: so you know what it is...

YN: yes and i need you alone when i take away the darkness, Thom would be in too much danger. dont worry you will be darkness free soon. you will be back in the light and free to live your live happy with me and Thom. im not gonna let this darkness ruin your life any longer. tonight it gets banished.

Jared: just gotta tire Thom out enough that he will sleep tonight.

YN: well then lets not keep him waiting any longer.

you and jared walk outside and down the path to the lake. you were amazed at the wonder and beauty before you. bout halfway to the lake, you were pressed against the back side of a nearby tree. Jared’s eyes darkened at the sight of you, the feeling of your body beneath his hands had him hard, you could feel it against your lower back.

Jared: once Thom is gone to bed, I'm gonna make Jared watch through his own eyes as I fuck you into next week. Jared will never inhabit his body again.

You struggled slightly before speaking.

YN: i address the entity within, who are you?

Jared’s form just smiled evily at you, his hands still freely roaming your body.

YN: well you should also know that you wont live long enough to fuck me into next week. im gonna expell you from Jared’s body and send you back where you came from. now i command thee for all that light brings give me Jared back immediately.

once you finished speaking Jared’s body fell to his knees, you kneel down to only be hugged by Jared.

Jared: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

YN: don't worry, just calm down. That demon is gonna be gone when I do the ritual. Take a few moments to breathe, I'm gonna go sit on the dock where the attendant is in the shallows with thom. Just take your time.

You placed a kiss to his cheek, then walked the rest of the way to the lake. Upon arrival at the lake, you watched the attendant and Thom, playing in the shallow water.

Attendant: miss YN. Where is Master Jared?

YN: he will be along shortly he just wanted to check his messages make sure everything is running smoothly.

Attendant: then I shall stay down here with you both till he arrives. How do you like the place Miss?

Yn: it's gorgeous. I love it. I have never been invited to go on any type of vacation. Not even in my own family. So this was a really awesome surprise.

Attendant: that is so sad... Well to many more times like this then. Thom here is a amazing little kiddo, you have been working so hard master Jared just wanted to give you a vacation you wouldn't soon forget.

Thom meanwhile was just enjoying the water, his expression had a huge smile on it. He was wet head to toe and absolutely having fun!

You kept waiting on the dock for Jared to approach and for 10 min he didn't till you, looked and saw his form approach.

you sat on the dock and felt him slide down behind you, his legs are on either side of yours, his arms round your waist. you both sat there enjoying the view while Thom played with the attendant in the water below. neither you nor Jared felt like moving knowing that in a few hours you both would be expelling the demonic force that lay now dormant inside Jared.

Jared: do you know what is better than sitting here on the dock.

YN: what

Jared: sitting on the dock with you surrounded by nature, this will be the best vacation ever once we get rid of the demon.

~time skip to a few hours later. after some swimming you all went back to the house for dinner. after dinner you guys played a game or 2 with Thom who then went with one of the attendants and had a bath, then it was time to put him to sleep. you and Jared read him a story, then he fell fast asleep. for he truely was tuckered out, you and Jared dismissed the attendants and locked the doors for the evening. you both went to the master suite as we return to the story.~

YN: i need to set something up first can you wait like 5 minutes before you enter the bathroom. oh and dont plan on showering in your trunks, and bring towels with you. i have a feeling like we will need them when we are done.

Jared: ill see you in there.

you walk towards the bathroom, holding the prayer beeds in one hand and un doing your bikini in the other. you placed the bikini on the ground and set your phone on the counter.

YN: Exorcizo te, creatura aquae. In nomine dei patris omnipotentis et in virtute spiritus sancti.

you finished the incantation and placed the rosery on the shower head so it lands in the water. then you took one look out the window and just let the water run over your body.

Jared walks in with nothing on he places the towels on the counter, you see him out of the corner of your eye.

Yn: join me?

Jared didn't need an invitation he was already climbing in behind you. For he knew that this was the only way to expell the demon.

You turned around and now faced him, you looked up at him holding his gaze you move him round so he is under the water.

His body starts shaking that's when you spoke again.

Yn: please let this work...

You had him lift you up so he was holding you as you slid down onto his cock, and spoke the incantation that hopefully would save his life. In other words bring his light fuller to push away the darkness.

Also there was a Devils trap in the floor where jard was standing you had the attendantz draw one, for the demon to be sent straight back to hell. With a clear voice the following words were spoken by you.

Yn: exorcisomus te, omnis immunus spirits, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis adversarri, omnis legio, omnis congregato, insectas diabolicas, ergo dracto malidicte, eclesium secura fascious liberate, te regamous, audinos

At that point black smoke came out of Jared's mouth, and went straight through the floor. When Jared looked at you again his eyes were clear and he leaned you against the wall.

He began thrusting his hard cock in and out of your pussy. It was something that both of you had dreamed about for months.

His hard cock pounding your sensitive tender pussy. With each thrust you climaxed. But it was the kisses that left you both breathless.

The more he thrust the more he came. After 45 minutes and 16 climaxes for the both of you.

Jared set you down, helped you rinse off, both of you getting out after Jared turned off the water, Jared wrapped a towel round you, then he dried himself off.

Jared: thank you. Thank you for saving my life. But where did you learn to do that.

YN: too much research on the paranormal. I knew something was off and when that demon named himself I knew what I had to do.

Jared: would you consider making your time here a role more permenant than just a nanny?

YN: what kind of role would that be?

you are immediately pickd up and placed on the bed with Jared crawling on top of you. he made love to you for a few moments before just curling up with you in his arms and muttered only 2 words before he crashed.

Jared: marry me

you used voice command to turn out the lights before passing out yourself. when you both woke the next morning with just a sheet covering your still cuddling forms. you blinked a bit before moving a piece of Jared’s hair out of his eyes.

it was a few moments later that Jared stirred.

YN: morning handsome.

Jared: that was the best ive slept in years.

YN: do you remember saying anything after we hit the pillow last night.

Jared twists away from you for a moment and pulls something out of one of the drawers in his nightstand, before coming back to your embrace.

Jared: all this time i felt empty and now i want nothing more than to have you stay permenantly. YN will you partner with me in raising Thom full time, not as a nanny but as a step mom to him. YN i believ i already asked you this but will you marry me?

he reveals a small rose gold band with a 15k diamond in the center surrounded by your birthstone and Jareds birth stone. this made you nod alot, trying to find your voice as the cool metal band slid on your finger.

YN: yes! yes yes yes!!!! but umm does this mean we dont have to leave this bed right away.

Jared: i think that can be arranged besides its still early. its only 6am... we are still on work time.

going back to cuddle mode you admired your new ring as Jared now once more wraped your form in his own, your leg draped over his hip and you guys were basically a free range pretzel. so to speak. it became the start of the life you always wanted something permenant and stable. not loose and ragged.

goes to show love strikes when you least expect it.

#spnkinkbingo #spnfluffbingo

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foulserpent · 4 years

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idk if this has been asked before but has dusty met ned? or just heard about him from niv? what do they think of him

yeah if ned and niv meet again, that would definitely happen

dusty probably has heard about him a few times, though probably offhandedly since hes someone niv only knew in the first 20 years of her life and hasnt seen since. niv also likes to joke about the divorce and to imply that she killed her ‘ex-husband’ for money, which is a goof but also means that “her friend ned” and “her ex-husband” are treated as different people in stories and finding out they were the same dude is shocking.

ned has chilled out significantly by that time so hes less likely to be rude to dusty, but i dont know how well theyd mesh and probably would argue easily. dusty would get along with shap better (its kind of hard Not to get along with shap).

also they DID canonically meet in passing once or twice while both were in vvardenfell

#anon

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bcnhur-blog · 5 years

Text

hello!! i’m k and i’m very excited to bring you my demon aries.

[ maxence danet fauvel. twenty-two. cismale. he/him. | muse 7a ] roulette by machine gun kelly just came on the radio and it made me think of aries duguay. they’ve been in sundance for fifteen years and they’re currently a drug dealer. if you’re looking for them, try by cal zone, locals say they’re there a lot.

aries moved to sundance when he was seven years old from france when his dad got a better job. however, not everyone came to america with them. his mother, who had a long list of mental health issues decided to stay in france. little aries begged and cried for his mom to come with him, always a mama’s boy. but she refused. for years he thought it was his fault she was the way she was. that she hated him.

aries’ parents got a divorce while he was in america and he hasnt seen or heard from his mother for over ten years. his dad didn’t get remarried until aries was 18. while is step mom is nice enough, she tries too hard and aries? hates her guts.

he started to get into trouble early. by 12 his dad had to take him out of public school and put him in a private school until he got kicked out of there too. he’s always been trouble.

the only good thing he ever had was muse 7b. and even then he messed that up.

he started to sell drugs when he was nineteen just to make some money and to get out of his fathers house. he knows he can do it and never get in trouble because his dad will just pay for him to get out of trouble. like usual.

aries is..... a mess. he’s not a dick but he’s blunt and can come off as kinda harsh but he’s usually nice unless he has to be an asshole.

does he have a drug problem?? maybe??????

he has a pet cat named bagel and a gold fish named cream cheese.

subplot: aries is muse 7a

muse 7a and muse 7p dated in high school after being friends for years. they were sundance high's it couple ! that was, until muse 7a broke up with muse 7b because they wanted to ‘explore’ life outside of just being muse 7b's partner. they haven’t talked since high school, but due to recent circumstances, find themselves reconnecting. can muse 7b forgive muse 7a for breaking their heart, or is friendship out of the question?

wanted connections

please give me some of his heathen friends thank YOU

hookups ( m/f/nb )

police officer who wants to nail this mf :~)

#— aries. & 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 #intro #sundanceintro

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daniellegibbons-blog1 · 6 years

Text

please just help.

7 years ago i had a baby. she was a stillborn and her name was scarlett. scar for short. scars father and i were not in each others lives considering we were both in other relationships (not when i got pregnant) and what we had was just sex to him but he was my best friend soulmate.

a year after scars death i decided to contact him and tell him what happened. im a shit person for waiting so long but i had just started to process it and thought he deserved to know. he was married or engaged or something. they would soon be married.

i told him everything and he confessed he had always been in love with me. hes the only man i have ever loved. (im a lesbian) but not for him. he told me the reason he stopped talking to me was because when we were fooling around he was just using me for sex and then he fell in love with me and he didnt know what to do bc thats never happened before to him. he shoved all those feelings away and when he found out ab scar, they all came back.

i was going to get a tattoo for scarlett. i asked him to come with me. i said his girl could come too. she messaged me. told me how amazing she thought i was and how she was so supportive of me and him being in each others lives. she seemed so sweet.

my tattoo appointment comes up. my first tattoo. my best friend at the time was there but i kept waiting for him. he never showed up. i didnt hear from him for 6 months.

6 months later he contacted me. he told me his wife hated me. that she was jealous of me. made him choose that day between her and me. he chose her because i was taken by who is now my wife. he was deployed and said she wouldnt ever know we were talking. i felt horrible so i told her he was texting me even though i knew it meant we couldnt talk anymore. i knew if it was me i would want to know.

we didnt speak for almost another year. he contacted me first again. told me he wasnt happy with her. and he hadnt been since he found out ab scar. that he wanted to be with me. wanted to have a family with me like we were supposed to have. i didnt tell his wife this time because i missed him so much. i did tell my wife the things he said. and let her know that i was not saying these things in return.

we spoke for a few years behind his wifes back. he would constantly complain ab her to me. cry while sober and drunk that he wishes she was me. or how he hates himself for letting me go. we talked ab scar a lot. we cried together a lot. i fell back in love with him. but not romantically. if that makes sense.

he told me he made it clear to his wife that he didnt love her. that he loved me. that he didnt want a family or a marriage with anyone but me. but yet they still stayed together.

he got deployed again and i didnt hear from him. but she blocked me from all of his social media. he still messaged me the minute he got back. before he even messaged her. we continued to talk behind her back.

he filed for separation. told her to leave and move home and she did. a year or so ago. we were finally able to talk whenever and not just when he was out or she was sleeping. he filed for divorce 6 months after separation. i was so happy. not for being the driving reason a marriage broke up but because he was my best friend in the entireworld. the father of my child. the only person who knew everything about me and the only person i felt 10000% comfortable with.

over the past year we have gotten so close. i cant live without him. when he goes out to sea its so hard. my wife is supportive she knows hes my best friend.

its a week before thanksgiving 2018. we were telling eachother our holiday schedules so we knew when wed be free to talk. we were scheduling me to go visit him for scars bday. we havent seen eachother since she was conceived.

i havent heard from him since then.

he slowly blocked me on everything. down to instagram and snapchat. but not my phone number im pretty sure. ive been in a constant state of anxiety since the last time he spoke to me.

i have anxiety. clinical depression. ptsd from countless traumas. and borderline personality disorder. hes the only person who has taken the time to train himself to know exactly what i need in the event of any kind of mental breakdown and hes not here anymore.

a few months ago i asked him if he was with this girl. i wanted him to say yes because i really wanted him to be happy. he said no. i pressed and he insisted they were just friends. i let it go.

tonight i saw that she posted a picture of them kissing in front of a christmas tree. i started crying on the floor next to my bed so i wouldnt wake up my wife because i am hyperventalating. i cant breathe and i cant understand why because this is what i wanted. but he promised a relationship wouldnt ever get in between us again.

so why has he cut me off. why hasnt he spoken to me. is it her. is it his soon to be ex wife threatening to say he was cheating on her w me bc she said she would do that. i cant help thinking im a fucking failure once again and the person i could ALWAYS count on is the one who is making me feel this way now.

my friends are telling me hes an asshole. not to care. to just get over the friendship and let him go and that shit happens. yeah i know. all my friends leave but he isnt my “friend”. hes everything. hes my person.

im heartbroken like i have never been before and i still only want to talk to him about it like he isnt the one who is doing this to me.

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thewaitisogre · 6 years

Text

WEEK 7 RECAP: Country Night November 5, 2018

Country boy, I love yew lwaaaaah. After after we got an extensive opening number introducing the stars and music guests, we got dances. Tonight I realized that a big part of the show is the music and when all the country songs sound the same and they’re not even the best songs in the genre the whole episode feels dragged down and monotone. It was the weakest episode of the season so far. But there were highlights, like Dolly Parton in Fashion Nova’s Robin Hood collection in front of a circus mural.

After the dances we got two team dances. Team dances were picked dodge ball style by the two stars with the lowest scores. In the past the team dance with the higher score would be safe from elimination, but tonight the team dance scores had no effect so this was a waste. If the lowest scoring team would’ve been up for elimination Joe would’ve been in the bottom for once, but we didn’t get that lucky.

Dances

John | jazz | 8 9 8

John is a country singer so he must’ve felt like a pig in shit. Not so fast. John pulled the sobbiest sob story of the season out of his flannel pocket and confessed he hasn’t seen his children in three years because of his divorce and every Monday he hopes his children are in the crowd. It was really raw moment and one of the few highlights of the night. It’s too bad he told this tragic story right before performing a jazz to “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” by John Denver and lost all composure. And then I think John adopted Tom Bergeron? It was strange and wonderful.

Evanna | rhumba | 10 10 10

Evanna and Keo did an emotional rhumba to a song that gives Evanna all the feels because it reminds her of her ex. It wasn’t the best rhumba I’ve ever seen. I find that Keo overpowers his partners a little and Evanna still dances tentatively. But the song gave Evanna a chance to talk about a failed relationship and this show is all about digging up the past. This is also the point where the judges are deciding who they want in the finals and the scores can tell that.

Juan Pablo | charleston | 10 10 10

JP and Cheryl take a field trip to a square dancing saloon to get into the characters. The dance and the music didn’t mesh at all, but who cares because he is a sexy cowboy. JP can run me over with that truck, I don’t care. Again, the judges have made their mind up about who they like and don’t like and gave him scores to help secure his place in the finals. .

Joe | tango | 7 7 7

In this week’s completely unrehearsed comedy bit, Joe is riding high from last week’s scores and has turned into an egotistical prick. We know he is prick because he is wearing sunglasses indoors like a John Hughes villain. This bit would’ve been cute if Joe was charming. They tangoed to a mad max Superbowl-inspired dance?? Joe tends to flirt with my nemesis Erin Andrews in the post-dance interview and it’s awkward as hell because his girlfriend is in the audience every night and Erin doesn’t reciprocate since she is married.

Milo | Foxtrot | 10 9 10

Milo had trouble getting into the country spirit so he wrote a country song for his country-loving partner Witney. You know there is a problem when the country spoof song from the package is better than the song they danced to. To add dipping tobacco in the wound, we got a bunch of close-ups of the singer’s face during the dance. Either the DP is infatuated or the DP is trying to cover-up Milo’s mistakes.

Cinnamarcus Roll | waltz | 9 9 9

This week Cinnamarcus Roll and Lindsay visited a farm for the sole reason of giving Cinnamarcus Roll a chance to talk about his farm upbringing because the package and their glitzy dance had nothing to do with each other. The dance was lovely, though. It had a wonderful soft intimacy to it and he danced less aggressively than in past dances.

Alexis | samba | 9 10 10

And in this week’s installment of “Will They/Won’t They” Alan takes Alexis to ride a horse and accepted Alexis’ advances in form of a kiss. I was expecting a Jared Jewelers advertisement to flash across the screen at any moment. Len loved their hoedown samba and I’m not surprised because he likes boring dances. Maybe the dance was boring because she injured her rib. It’s amazing how her injury storyline was omitted in place of her romance storyline.

Bobby | waltz | 8 8 8

Bobby trudged through the dance floor like Pee Wee Herman sneaking into a movie theater, but it doesn’t matter because he was getting a good score no matter what. See, according Bobby he has the most popular country radio show in history, so there was no way the judges would make him look stupid on country night in front of his peers.

Team Dances

Team Hay Now | 10 9 10

Evanna, Milo, John and Bobby danced a free style set in a farm because it’s country night! How original. It was very neat, but I wonder how much was easy choreography so that Bobby could keep up.

Team Joe Down | 9 8 9

Pass the sarsaparilla because Alexis, Juan Pablo, Cinnamarcus Roll and Joe danced a freestyle set in a saloon. I feel like this dance was more difficult, but it didn’t look as neat as Team Hay Now. Whenever the choreography got too complicated Joe would either make a fool of himself or he would be set to the side like if he were punished.

Tom Bergeron Quip of the Night

During elimination: “These pauses are even killing me.”

Len Goodman Zinger of the Night

“You went from Hollywood to Dollywood.”

In Jeopardy

John, Demarcus, and Evanna. Another week where Joe is not in jeopardy *eats glass.*

Elimination

Demarcus and his partner Lindsay. John and his partner Emma.

Observations

They announced the couples at the start like a pot roast; slooooowly

An exceedingly long bumper from the dancers going on the DWTS tour

A superfluous performance from some American Sniper looking guy Cole Swindell

I had a mini-stroke because i thought I heard the announcer say the Juniors are taking over the “sex” when he actually said the “sets”

Len said he is 6’2 and we love a tall grandzaddy

Bruno putting up his 10 paddle for Artem taking off his flannel shirt is a mood

Bruno left during Alexis’ critique because he didn’t want to hear anything bad

Danica McKellar in the crowd still rocking a six pack

Bobby announced he is going to be a mentor on American Idol and why do we care about this? Because American Idol is also an ABC show and recycling stars is good for the environment

Click here for more Dancing With The Stars recaps.

#dancing with the stars #recap

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thefreshchannel · 7 years

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Hey I'm newish to the td fandom so do mind me asking who Tasha is?

I guess since she seems to have deleted i can tell the story now lmao

She was basically a fake identity created to harass """the populars™""" like if u heard of jaded teenage girl tashalovesnirvana u probably already know what her personality was like, but the td fanbase was basically her origins and it is an incredibly long story to tell u every little thing shes done so a tl;dr would be tasha is basically a harasser/stalker who traumatized a lot of people for many years. like she pretended to be so many other people and was very out for blood lmao. Also she was a fake persona, along w many others, created by the creator of theconfessioncam herself cherri (who hasnt been online since new years 2015) to make everyone miserable for “kicking her out the td fandom”

BUT IF U WANNA KNOW THE FULL STORY IT’S UNDER A CUT CAUSE BOI IS IT LONG AND TYPING IT FELT UNREAL

I already spoke abt theconfessioncam so we'll just skip to the day the person behind it was exposed. The person behind it was called cherri (isabelle was her real name but we all called her cherri bc it was in her url)

Cherri was infamous amongst the fanbase bc she shipped chrindsay and wouldn't understand why others didn't, was mostly anti sj/w, liked and defended the one character who shall not be named at the time people were calling out the issues they had w the character (all ppl calling out the issues being neurodivergent while she was neurotypical also this is discourse i am not willing to touch again so dont even think abt sending asks about this lmao), created the phrase "screw you i'm getting my duncney on" and constantly commenting abt why the fandom was toxic and shit like that. Most people would ignore her at first until after theconfessioncam turned out to be her. Many people presented proof and evidence and now she was public enemy #1 like no one liked her and one night everyone started calling her out for her shit and like she immediately blew up. On everyone. I'm p sure after that night the whole plot started.

So like. Shortly after comes a person called "holly-so-jolly" (who then became holly-smokes-molly for a short period of time in late 2015? 2016? fuck idk but her fame was very short but thats another story)Holly befriended cherri and her group of uglies so fast by always being like "wow fuck the populars"

the populars, a term coined in by theconfessioncam's anons, referred to ppl who would argue a lot abt smthn and others would agree w over well, cherris gang. Anyways holly would almost immediately always start a fight w the populars or say some problematic shit or stan for cherri a lot. I know y'all are wondering what this has to do w tasha but trust me we'll get there lol

A few days (maybe a day or two) after holly joins the fanbase, a new hateblog (SPECIFICALLY MADE TO SEND HATE ABOUT THE POPULARS) popped up. The populars would get anons about the hate blog seeing as it was so brand new that it wouldnt show up in the tag just yet. And these confessions were CRUEL. Like wishing death/murder upon these ppl, encouraging self harm, harassing minors (literally under 16 at the time), ableist comments, racism, transphobia, homophobia like it was all there. Someone else faked a new blog agreeing w these confessions and managed to speak to the new hate blog (this was someone who was undercover and managed to expose the person running that hateblog, which ended up being holly)

Holly then changed her url to winner-challenged to try to impersonate ryan, but them claimed to be other 2 people making an april fool's joke (in february no less lmao) and then she changed her persona completely to desireesparx and tried to pass off as a new person in the fanbase. But it didnt work and she deleted as fast as she came in. Antitotaldramapopulars only lasted one day. On the same day, theconfessioncam was deleted. People suspected cherri was behind all this all to which she claimed she wasnt but we all know the truth lol.

After holly hell, tasha fiasco started. And boy was tasha fucking persistent. Like she came in early 2014, and only JUST NOW DELETED. It is 2017.

Tasha-loves-duncney was ?? I guess ur basic td blogger who just loved duncney? No one had any thoughts of her at first until she made a post about not understanding why people hated mike. So people went on to explain. And i forgot rlly what happened but like tasha started getting more aggressive. Like she would reblog "the populars'" personal posts and mock them, she even added a comment hoping for the person's house to fall on them. Someone then made the "fly away tasha" comment and she CRIED because apparently she had been bullied for having a bird nose and been told that before so it only made the phrase stick. She then made an entire post saying rape wasnt bad or some weird ugly shit like that, and even after that she still had a few ppl supporting her (mostly other anti s/jws in the fanbase and cherris old friends ((also CHERRI WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND OR SEEN! SHE DISAPPEARED DURING ALL THIS LOL))) And that's when we all were all over her and i'm p sure it was when all the hate blogs came back.

I'm not sure if maybe i'm confusing it for another hateblog or if there was another one before this one (or i'm getting the timeline wrong bc is2g tasha deleted and came back so many times) but a confession blog popped up called "camerainthepotty" or smthn along the lines that just seemed to post whatever random weird asks ppl would send them. Then during that night it converted to tdgossipgirls and ?? It was such a weird blog lmao like just like antitotaldramapopulars, it aimed to bully the fandom populars in burn book style ? Tabloid magazine style? Point is we all knew it was tasha lmao and at this point it started to become clear who tasha really was. Whatever hateblog it was it would post fake edited asks allegedly sent by the populars themselves which gave us great classics such as "king bee ryan outtie!"

Anyways tasha liked another populars' personal post and people told her to delete bc it was a super heavy personal post. She claimed it was for support but like she finally deleted. And we were tasha clear for a few months? Weeks? (someone even took the url i think) so she then came back as "tashasbackbitches" and boi was she mad lmao. The whole tag asked her to fly away and she took a screenshot of it and claimed bullying. She then tried to ruin ale//noah day by posting pics of dunc/ney which compared to all she's done this is the most tame thing she had done but ppl were still mad abt that anyways lol. So i think a day later she made the anti-winnerchallenged blog specifically aimed at ryan for whatever reason. She ""accidentally"" made a post for anti-winnerchallenged on tashasbackbitches but like once ppl pointed it out something even weirder happened like it sounds fucking unreal but apparently it was a fake tasha???? According to real tasha??? Who was now back as "tashalovesduncney" with no hyphens?? And going to people's inbox saying that tashasbackbitches WAS NOT HER And that she had proof on her blog bc there was a pic of her holding a piece of paper w her url written on it and also an audio post explaining what happened.

So tashasbackbitches was deleted and now we were stuck with tashalovesduncney. Which at first was??? Idk but the audio post on her blog sounded high pitched like. It didnt sound like no human voice lmao. Also the pic of her had the piece of paper edited in. So someone pointed it out and like. She immediately assumed another ""popular"", cass, had sent it. And when i tell u this tasha was DARK AND OUT FOR BLOOD, I MEAN IT LMAO. Like tasha clung on to cass ever since. She would @ them and all that shit on posts and like. This tasha was out to attack. She would constantly say awful shit abt the populars and @ them in her posts, or she would @ well known anti sj/w blogs (such as p0ppypicklesticks, swimmninda/privilege u name it) and encourage them to slay our sjw asses. Not only that but now there was an anti-deadbyshawn blog to aim hate at cass specifically.

I guess at some point someone else came in the fandom by the name of staceyd123 and was received in many different ways like1. People assuming this was tasha2. People defending her bc she was a minor3. Tasha encouraging her to befriend her

However a lot of ppl started to believe this was a different person. She did befriend tasha and a lot of the ppl in the fandom and bc she was a minor a lot of the older kids protected her from tasha and constantly warned her. Sometime between that antitdpopulars came back and more fake asks were posted, populars were being blamed on for the blog to bring attention to themselves. Not sure if it was earlier or at this exact time but i think it would tie into the next event better.

so tasha and stacey had this BIG FIGHT i guess cause stacey outed tasha for running the new anti populars blog and in this fight tasha blamed stacey for staceys parents divorcing and stacey claimed tasha clipped her toenails in a voice call and like. It was so odd at this point tasha started making fake asks about the people who supported her lmao. Then she would submit herself to blogs to send love to ppl being bullied and then those ppl would fight us and the whole night was a mess. Stacey had deleted and then tasha kept her url. I'm p sure sometime later tasha deleted too?? She came back as a sideblog the next time.

Stacey came back a bit around the same time and ofc had ppl on her side welcoming her back. Almost immediately. Another new persona came in at the time too known as ""fucknmacine18??"" He changed the url to "thechazmeister" or whatever but he was basically a dumb white straight dude fake persona that claimed to have abandoned the south park fandom. Once in the td fandom, he would reblog a lot of the girls selfies and make comments on them also claiming to fall in love w one of the populars? Two of the populars? Idk but point is him being there was. Irrelevant for a while. He would send uncomfortable asks to stacey apparently and also told tasha to fly away/rejected her or some weird shit that happened there idk the story of that but i know tasha was trying to befriend him and flirting w him lmao.

Several hateblogs came out too, one being psychoanalyzing the populars which would reveal incredibly personal information about them (based on their personal posts) and evaluate them. It was a really fucked up blog and no one knew how on earth she managed to get that information. The other one was very tame, it was battleofthepopulars or smthn like that which consisted of the populars being in a td like setting and each being voted off everyday and like. No one rlly paid attention to it lol. In the end when she booted off one of the populars, she ranted that it was bc she had blamed cherri for something she didn't even do. Which was suspicious seeing as tasha wasnt here around that time, meaning this person knew about cherri being exposed as theconfessioncam.

During that same time, tasha was still very much clinging onto cass. Sending them fanmails as she couldnt send asks since she was on a sideblog. Meaning she followed ppl on an unknown main blog. Cass would receive over 200 fanmails a day from tasha. Tasha even changed her blog's url to match cass'. One night tasha got tired of being ignored and blackmailed cass into talking to them, or their friends would be harassed. The main tag was full of tasha posting edited pictures of ryan on the main td tag, personal posts of another one of cass' friends with the read more code taken off. It was a horrible night. But in the end tasha exposed her main blog was staceyd123. Tasha had faked being stacey which would explain how she managed to get the personal information for her psychoanalyzations blog. She explained it was because she was someone who got kicked out of the fandom by “tortellani and the other populars” and that she finally knew what it was like living like a popular. She then proceeded to spam the tag w animal gore knowing it was a heavy trigger for one of the populars. Stacey/tasha then deleted. Never to be heard of until...oh no wait, we almost forgot our buddy chaz.

So chaz stuck around and made dumb posts and like. No one really cared for him. Until he wanted to be seen as a threat so he made a hate blog on american thanksgiving day taking the populars' descriptions on their mobile blogs and making them bad adding racist/homophobic commentary. It was here where he stole 2 urls belonging to two other populars and tried to pass off as them. Cass had remade, but chaz took their current url (hottiemcfright) as well as the tortellani url belonging to the other person who had changed urls to avoid traffic from TiA. So that night chaz. God it was a blur but he pretended to be those two people and filled the tag w a bunch of animal gore. Tumblr did jump on that and deleted him. Chaz was another of tasha's personas so, NOW we don't hear of tasha until february of 2015.

So now under the url: tashalovesnirvana, she sent popular bloggers racist slurs thinking she was on anon and then begged for them not to be posted and theyre posted for everyone to read. No one thought twice about it when the screenshots were going around but eventually ppl in the td fanbase noticed that tasha had sent those. And i mean, you can basically look this up as it spread from just the td fandom to literally all of tumblr knew about her. They made her asks into copypastas. And it got rlly funny bc at some point she didnt even know who kurt cobain was.

Anyways after this mess she deleted but she came back. Except this time tumblr updated the blocking system so it could actually work. And boy did it work well. Tasha did get 15 minutes of fame (or less) again when she came back but everyone would just block her and she would never be heard of again. She was still there reblogging posts from the ppl she hated toLet them know. She would try to get their attention but. The moment she would contact them she'd get hit w the block button. So naturally she brought back her persona "holly" as a stoner girl "holly-smokes-molly" who also had a short lived fame but then, again, people stopped caring after they had blocked her. One of her comebacks was her coming back as a woke feminist but no one else cared about her. Tasha was an old meme, so 2 years ago. No one else gave attention to her.

In 2017 she finally deleted. Like the url isnt even hoarded so that's how u know that it's all done. It took 3 years for her to leave us alone. 3 traumatizing years. A lot of the people involved were minors too.

I know i probably messed up some parts of this or got confused w the many hateblogs she made but like. Trust me when i say that she remade so many times it's hard to keep track of all the weird shit she has done. Also i've been typing this since 8am and i still shake a bit thinking about this lol.

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usviraltrends-blog · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://usviraltrends.com/a-babys-murder-opened-a-dark-chapter-in-ireland-that-still-hasnt-been-closed/

A baby's murder opened a dark chapter in Ireland that still hasn't been closed

Cahersiveen, Ireland — At the edge of an Irish village lies a cemetery nestled between lush hills and the craggy shores of the Atlantic. Under an umbrella of iridescent clouds, Catherine Cournane makes her way toward the back plots.

She meanders past the grave of her mother, two brothers and a cousin. She visits them often here in Cahersiveen’s Holy Cross Graveyard. But on this day, she is here for someone else.

Baby John.

It has been two days since Catherine last tended his grave and at the headstone, she sees fresh chrysanthemums. Their yellow and orange petals have weathered the pelting rain and wind. Catherine wonders who left them there.

Other babies are buried at Holy Cross and their loved ones look after them. But Baby John has no one.

So, Catherine took on the task of looking after the grave. She felt compelled to make sure Baby John rested in peace. He deserved that, Catherine thought, after the ugliness that had surrounded him.

Catherine Cournane at the Holy Cross Graveyard in Cahersiveen.

Baby John’s headstone reads: “I am the Kerry Baby.”

Catherine was 15 when the tragedy unfolded.

She was in high school when Baby John died 34 years ago and she had helped carry his tiny casket to the graveyard. She was there when hundreds of schoolchildren stopped off to pay their respects with prayer after school. She joined the children when they burst into spontaneous song at the infant’s grave.

In Ireland, it wasn’t unusual for a community to gather around a loss of their own. But Baby John’s funeral was different.

Catherine did not know who the baby’s parents were. No one did. Still, no one does.

His three-day-old body had been found on a rocky stretch of beach on the outskirts of town. He had been strangled and stabbed 28 times.

But what Catherine does know is this: A baby was laid to rest on a spring day more than three decades ago and nothing would ever be the same again.

The sordid saga that unfolded would shake Catherine, her community and her country. And it would force Ireland to confront the bitter truth on how it treated its women.

In spring of 1984, Catherine was 15 and living at home with her parents and six brothers and sisters in Cahersiveen. The town’s 1,300 people had the good fortune of residing on a stunning spit of coastal land in southwest Ireland’s County Kerry that felt like the edge of Europe. It very nearly is.

Back then, everyone knew one another and if they didn’t know someone, they’d at least know of them. Police stopped residents for missing lights on bicycles but rarely anything more.

That was until Baby John.

A runner had discovered the newborn’s body on the beach and the gardai, as the Irish police are known, called Catherine’s father to the scene of the crime. Tom was an undertaker and Catherine had been surrounded by death all her life. But she took notice that night.

Tom christened the baby with water from a nearby freshwater stream. He named him John and placed him in a tiny casket. Catherine stared at it on the back seat of her father’s car. It was the smallest she’d ever seen.

She knew the circumstances of the baby’s death. She knew the police were hunting the killer; that they suspected the baby’s mother.

A couple of weeks passed. Then, one afternoon, as daffodils were beginning to break through winter soil, Catherine cycled home, down familiar lanes, to find two men waiting for her in the sitting room.

They were the police and Catherine knew exactly why they were there.

Do you have a boyfriend? they asked Catherine.

No.

Do you know anyone who does have a boyfriend?

Yes.

They asked if any of those women had been pregnant and if Catherine had heard any gossip about anyone having an affair with a married man.

No, she replied.

Catherine nearly fainted from the gardai’s questioning. She thought of herself as a “good girl,” and her mother did too. The police had brought fear into their home.

But in 1984, fear was the norm in Catholic Ireland.

Although a referendum a decade before had drastically reduced the Church’s political sway, its patriarchal weight still came down on aspects of society.

The Church crafted the curriculum for nearly all state schools and sex education was practically non-existent for girls like Catherine.

Her only exposure to sex was a box of condoms a relative once brought home as a souvenir from England. She kept the contraband hidden away, and included one as a gag gift for a friend’s birthday. When her mother found out, she got a wallop.

Condoms required a prescription and birth control pills were available only to married women if they were able to find a doctor to prescribe them.

Women found themselves raising smaller families than their mothers’ generation; yet Ireland still held one of the highest fertility rates in Western Europe. In decades prior, unmarried women who became pregnant would disappear “on holiday” for months. More likely, they were sent to church-run homes to deliver babies that would be given up for adoption, a practice for which the Church has apologized in recent years. The last mother and baby home only shut its doors in 1996.

The women would return home to silence. No one dared to ask questions.

There were few ways out for women who felt stuck in oppressive marriages; divorce was illegal and would be so until 1996.

Irish women had little say over their bodies. The state was in control. It was in this environment that the Baby John investigation unfolded.

A road leading to White Strand, the beach where Baby John was found.

At Catherine’s home in Cahersiveen, the gardai pressed on with questions.

How could you be coming to talk to me about this? she thought. My God, I’m only 15 and I haven’t done anything.

After Catherine, the police moved on to the next young woman. And then the next. They were interrogating nearly every woman of childbearing age on the Iveragh peninsula.

Brigid, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, was one of them. She was 24, single and working in a neighboring county. One weekend, she returned home to Cahersiveen to visit her parents and found the police waiting.

She has never forgotten the way one of the police officers examined her body. She felt his eyes burning through her.

She had never taken any chances and would never have become pregnant. Her parents raised her in the Church and she knew pregnancy before marriage would have amounted to a death sentence. She’d seen the fate her aunt suffered after becoming pregnant out of wedlock. Her aunt was thrown out of the house and never seen again. She had, like so many other Irish women, been erased.

At the time, the line of questioning young women like Brigid and Catherine experienced was not so shocking. Irish authorities were pushing back against significant gains made by women’s rights groups including the abolition of a law that prevented married women in civil service from working as well as campaigns for equal pay, equal rights and access to contraceptives.

None of it sat well with conservatives who saw the advances as a threat to Ireland’s traditional way of life.

Road signs in Cahersiveen town.

Religious figurines and “Rally to Save the 8th“ posters seen through a window in town.

The Cahersiveen Garda station.

A backlash was evident when over a million people welcomed Pope John Paul II to Ireland in 1979. To some, including Mary McAuliffe, a lecturer at University College Dublin, the Catholic leader’s teachings that contraception was immoral, divorce was unconceivable and a woman’s role was at home played a part in reversing some of the gains women had made.

In 1982, a schoolteacher was fired after becoming pregnant out of wedlock with a married man; two years later, Ireland’s Supreme Court ruled children born out of wedlock had no succession rights.

In September 1983, a referendum was called to constitutionally ban abortion, already illegal in practice.

Church and state blurred into one, culminating in anti-choice rhetoric, including a comment from a County Galway bishop who reportedly said the most dangerous place for a baby is in the mother’s womb.

The abortion referendum passed with a two-thirds majority and the Eighth Amendment to the Irish constitution provided the unborn with an equal right to life as the mother.

Women lived under pervasive fear. Shortly after the Eighth Amendment was passed, a 15-year-old girl, Ann Lovett, became pregnant and died in a grotto. She had gone there to secretly give birth, under a statue of the Virgin Mary.

Lovett died around the same time police were interviewing Catherine, Brigid and scores of other women in the Baby John case.

Soon the police had a suspect. Her name was Joanne Hayes.

Joanne had given birth to a boy the day before Baby John’s body was found on the beach.

She delivered her child alone on her family’s farm in Abbeydorney, a tiny town less than two hours’ drive from Cahersiveen.

Joanne lived on that farm with her infant daughter, mother, aunt and siblings. She worked as a receptionist in a newly built gym in nearby Tralee, where she met the father of her children, Jeremiah Locke.

The relationship was far from typical. Jeremiah was married and had children from another marriage. And even though abortion was illegal in Ireland, adultery was not.

Still, Joanne concealed her pregnancy from her family and coworkers. It was, like the relationship, an open secret.

By the time Joanne went into labor, the couple had broken up and Jeremiah was no longer by her side when she gave birth. It’s not clear if the baby was stillborn or whether he died soon after. Only Joanne knows.

What is known is that she was a grieving mother who wanted to keep the ordeal to herself. Quietly, she buried her son in a field at her family farm.

But Joanne needed medical care and checked into a nearby hospital.

The Baby John investigation was going nowhere and after the police saw Joanne’s name on a registry of new mothers, they pursued a theory connecting her to the murder that, court documents would later show, was “inexcusable.”

She was brought in for questioning by detectives. For most of Joanne’s life, the gardai had earned an intimidating reputation. Just a few years before, Amnesty International had published a report alleging “systematic maltreatment” of suspects, including “oppressive methods of extracting statements.”

Joanne told them she could prove she was not Baby John’s mother and pleaded with them to take her back to the baby’s grave. But the gardai refused and threatened to throw her in jail and her daughter in an orphanage.

Intimidated and scared, Joanne relented and told the police what they wanted to hear: she had killed Baby John and disposed his body at sea. Her family went along with the falsehood.

The truth would take more than three decades to surface.

As the police pressed on, Joanne was moved from jail to a psychiatric hospital. There, she finally convinced police to recover her baby’s body at the farm. The police now had two dead babies to account for.

They bandied about the idea of “heteropaternal superfecundation,” a medical anomaly suggesting Joanne had been pregnant with twins by two different men.

But Joanne’s blood work proved she couldn’t have been Baby John’s mother. The police were forced to drop the charges.

After the charges were dropped, Joanne and her family reported allegations of police abuse, both physical and psychological — but the findings of an internal police investigation were inconclusive.

Public outcry prompted a probe into the gardai’s behavior but that quickly devolved into a trial of Joanne’s womanhood.

Joanne Hayes at the Tribunal of Inquiry in Tralee, County Kerry, in 1985. Michael MacSweeney/Provision

Women demonstrate in support of Joanne Hayes outside the Tribunal. Michael MacSweeney/Provision

For months, Joanne and her family’s private lives were put on public display at a tribunal, with scores of male officials taking turns to assassinate her character according to the court documents.

A legal team showed maps where Joanne and her lover had been intimate; a doctor detailed the size of Joanne’s birth canal; male psychiatrists aired their opinions on her personal character. One even said that Joanne didn’t appear to be guilt-stricken enough at the death of her own child.

The judge ordered sedation for a visibly upset Joanne and in this state, she took the stand to testify.

Joanne’s sole consolation was that from her tragedy grew support from women across the country. They rallied outside the court and sent Joanne yellow roses as a symbol of solidarity. They wrote letters and cards to her, detailing their own stories of suffering.

The support was solace for Joanne but justice eluded her.

In 1985, the tribunal absolved the police of wrongdoing. The officers central to the case were all eventually promoted.

But those officers never apologized.

She returned home to Abbeydorney and shrouded herself in a cloak of privacy. For 34 years, she has lived there, out of the limelight.

Baby John’s killer was never found.

For all these years, Catherine has carried the story of Baby John with her. At his grave, she dreams of the life he might have lived. Or not.

If contraception had been readily available, maybe he would have not been born at all. If society had allowed for a more open conversation about sex, he might still be alive. Maybe he would have grown to have a family of his own.

Catherine thinks about her own family.

She raised an 18-year-old daughter in a home without taboos, one that celebrated women. She raised her to become a woman no one would dare mess with.

Catherine wanted to make sure her daughter never experienced what she had.

She’d lost her innocence the day her father brought home Baby John’s body. She was shocked when she learned about Joanne and how she was treated, though, looking back, she realizes it was that moment that cemented her commitment to women’s rights.

Catherine never forgot that the blame in the Kerry babies case had fallen on a woman. No men were ever at fault.

Irish society has seen significant social changes since then. The Church has lost much of its moral authority, rocked by cases of scandal, sex abuse and the discovery of a mass grave of babies born out of wedlock in Tuam.

The small ripples of change that feminists won in the 1970s and ‘80s have since swollen into waves of protest on Ireland’s shores.

In 1992, the landmark X Case made it legal for Irish women to travel abroad for abortions, adding the threat of suicide as grounds for abortion.

In 2013, Savita Halappanavar died of sepsis after being denied a termination of a miscarrying fetus in a Galway hospital, prompting the government to pass a bill allowing abortions when a woman’s life is in danger.

And in January, 34 years after Joanne was wrongfully accused, the police finally issued her a formal apology. They admitted that DNA conclusively ruled that she could have not been Baby John’s mother. They also announced they would reopen the Baby John case.

But for Irish women like Catherine, none of it is enough.

No apology or monetary compensation, she believes, could ever make things right for Joanne.

Catherine realizes that Irish attitudes have changed. Still, she knows many people in Ireland remain reluctant to talk about the Kerry babies saga. And the tribunal transcripts remain restricted to the public.

“It’s about time for Ireland to wake up and shake itself and say this was wrong,” she says.

Catherine says she was too naive, too powerless then to realize she might have been able to put an end to what has been described as a “medieval witch-hunt.”

Brigid has come forward on her own volition and Walter Sullivan, the detective leading the new investigation, says it’s standard protocol to go back to everyone. That could include Catherine.

The police won’t comment on the case, except to refute the notion that only women are considered suspects. O’Sullivan says the renewed probe focuses on DNA samples that might help identify Baby John and his parents.

For many women here, a familiar pattern is again unfolding.

Ireland is again calling a referendum on abortion. And the pope is again scheduled for a visit. Only this time, his visit will come after the vote.

And this time, Catherine is certain Irish women are more aware of their rights than before.

They will have a chance to voice their opinions when they cast their votes in a May 25 abortion referendum, hailed by many, including the prime minister, as a critical step for women’s rights in Ireland.

While her nation stands poised to make history, Catherine spends her time in Cahersiveen, with her daughter and her ailing father. At 88, he has grown frail and is no longer able to look after Baby John’s grave.

The headstone has been destroyed several times and Catherine and her family are fearful that new interest in the Baby John case will once again bring trouble.

On this misty afternoon, Catherine plucks weeds poking out of the gravel, cleaning the grave as though it held one of her own.

Baby John would have been 34 this year.

As Catherine leaves the grave, she sees a plush bear sullied in the mud near the cemetery gate. Its knees are bent as in prayer, its eyes closed.

Ireland apologized to Joanne Hayes but Baby John never found his peace, Catherine believes. And without a fair investigation, he will never have that peace. She feels fairly sure the baby’s real mother still lives nearby. She hopes that woman can one day come forward without shame or fear.

“Our community is still dealing with a dark secret of the past,” she says.

The only way to move forward, Catherine believes, is to absolve the mother.

Then, perhaps, Baby John will be able to finally rest.

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viralhottopics · 8 years

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Civil war in the Vatican as conservatives battle Francis for the soul of Catholicism

As the pope leaves Rome for a retreat to mark Lent, rebellion and turmoil are in the air

When Pope Francis was elected nearly four years ago, on 13 March 2013, he was escorted like every pope before him from the Sistine Chapel to the Room of Tears. It is the place where a new pope pauses for a moment and no doubt many of them do shed a few tears, thinking of the momentous responsibility upon their shoulders before stepping out on to the balcony of St Peters to greet the world as the new leader of the Roman Catholic church.

When Francis, known until then as Jorge Bergoglio, archbishop of Buenos Aires, first appeared that night, he appeared remarkably sanguine, joking that the cardinals had gone to the ends of the Earth to choose the next pope. If hed had any inkling of what these last four years would be like, he would surely have wept in that Room of Tears.

While hugely popular across the globe with Catholics and non-Catholics alike, Francis has struggled against fierce opposition from the Vatican establishment to haul the Roman Catholic church into the 21st century, fought to reform its government, tried to persuade cardinals to revise their thinking on the divorced and remarried, and been openly opposed by rebel prelates.

Last week marked the start of Lent, one of the most important periods of the churchs calendar, a time when Catholics fast, give alms and reflect on humanitys sinfulness in the run-up to their commemoration of the crucifixion and of Easter. It is usually marked by quiet prayerfulness, and on Sunday the pope, along with members of the Roman Curia, will leave Rome to begin a five-day retreat. He will leave a Vatican beset by tension, turmoil and rebellion. There are even rumours that growing numbers of Vatican hands think he should quit.

On Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, came a big blow, in effect caused by the popes enemies: Marie Collins, the last abuse survivor on his commission into child abuse in the church, quit, frustrated at the lack of progress and what she calls shameful lack of cooperation from the officials most concerned with cases of abuse, highlighting the intransigence of the Roman Curia, or governing body, in the Vatican the body Pope Francis wants to reform.

With Collins gone from the Commission for the Protection of Minors, set up by the pope to investigate the worldwide scandal of sexual abuse by priests and religious brothers, and the other victim representative, the Briton Peter Saunders, on indefinite leave of absence, the commission has lost a certain integrity.

When she stepped down, Collins complained that the commission had been starved of resources, progress was slow and there was cultural resistance to its work in the Vatican.

The commissions recommendation that there should be a tribunal set up to deal with bishops who had been negligent over abuse has been impeded by Roman Curia officials despite the pope himself approving it. There is an area of the Curia that has not moved into the 21st century, said Collins. It is very resistant to working with the commission. There are people who still want to cover up.

Pope Francis leads the Ash Wednesday procession and mass at Santa Sabina church in Rome. Photograph: Alessandra Benedetti/Getty Images

The opposition Pope Francis is facing puts the church into uncharted territory. Massimo Faggioli, a leading theologian and Vatican-watcher, said: The Vatican status quo is behind this. It is a cultural and political opposition that was already visible a few weeks after Pope Franciss election. They are against changing the style and position of the church from a western one to a global religion.

In Franciss early days as pope, Vatican whispers focused on the financial reforms he wanted to make. Pope Benedict had resigned after a series of revelations, known as Vatileaks, which exposed financial malpractice in the Vatican, and Francis sought to end it.

But the most vocal opposition to the pope has developed over his desire for debate about marriage and divorce, gay people and the family.

After two synods on the issues in 2014 and 2015, Pope Francis produced the document Amoris Laetitia, in which in effect he told the churchs bishops to make local decisions about the divorced and remarried and their receiving of communion.

Traditional church teaching says that a Catholic who remarries after divorce can receive communion only if the church has also annulled his or her first marriage. Some bishops have seen Amoris Laetitia as a direction to compassionately welcome people without annulments to receive the eucharist.

That has outraged conservatives. A letter to Pope Francis from four cardinals hostile to change was made public. The communication took the form known as a dubia, expressing doubts, demanding yes and no answers and in effect challenging the popes authority by asking him to make points of church teaching clear on this issue and Christian life.

The four accusers included three retired cardinals, plus Cardinal Raymond Burke, an arch-conservative American canon lawyer who has gone as far as threatening to issue a correction to Pope Francis over Amoris Laetitia. Burke has been a thorn in the popes side for some time.

He was given a powerful judicial role in Rome by Benedict XVI, from which Pope Francis moved him. Last year Burke and other conservatives were ousted from the Vatican department that oversees worship. Then, earlier this year, during a row between the pope and the ancient Knights of Malta which led to the departure of the orders British leader, Matthew Festing, Cardinal Burke was sidelined in his role as envoy to the order. Within days anti-Francis posters appeared on the streets of Rome; so has fake news by way of spoof Vatican newspaper pages mocking him.

The rows are not just about personality clashes, or even divorce and communion. It goes much deeper than that. This is about the future of the church. If previous popes had enacted the wishes of the modernising Second Vatican Council, held 50 years ago, the domination of the wider church by the Vatican would have already diminished.

Now Francis is trying to move at least some decisions out to the bishops and local churches across the globe, by allowing priests and bishops to make the decisions about allowing divorcees communion. That, for the traditionalists, is the thin end of the wedge.

Christopher Lamb, Rome correspondent of the Catholic weekly the Tablet, said: The fundamental shift that Pope Francis is trying to make is for the church to be more pastoral. The Roman Curia should be serving the church universally, but Marie Collins in her resignation has exposed what is going on: a department has not even been willing to answer letters from abuse victims.

According to Tina Beattie, a British feminist theologian who organised fringe events in Rome before the 2015 synod to get womens voices heard, Pope Francis has a blind spot about women and hasnt listened enough to them, but she admires him for attempting to have some dialogue.

I dont want to say that the pope is defeated by the critics, but this is making him vulnerable. What they are doing is almost schismatic, she said.

On Sundaymorning in Rome, the pope will no doubt mark the first Sunday in Lent with a call to repent. But his critics are hardly in penitent mood; they want him to resign. There are rumours that even some of those who voted for Francis now have doubts.

It is true that some cardinals may regret their vote for him in the conclave, but I do not think they hope that he resigns, said Faggioli. They know it would be very hard to find a popular pope like him.

FLASHPOINTS: HOW CONSERVATIVES HAVE BEEN UPSET

Homosexuality

On the way home from his first trip abroad to Rio de Janeiro in July 2013, Francis told journalists that he did not have a problem with an inclination to homosexuality. Who am I to judge if theyre seeking the Lord in good faith? he said.

Communion for divorced and remarriedpeople

In April 2016 the pope issued his apostolic exhortation in response to the two synods of 2014 and 2015 on marriage and the family. Footnote 351 indicated it might be possible for the divorced and remarried to receive communion and moved decisions on this to local bishops and priests. Communion is not a prize for the perfect, he said. Six months later, four of his fiercest critics, including Cardinal Raymond Burke, issued a dubia, a document challenging Francis over his thinking on communion.

Cleaning up the Curia

After being elected on a reform mandate by the College of Cardinals in March 2013, Francis immediately started his reform of the Roman Curia, the churchs bureaucracy, with efforts to clean up finances and streamline departments. In December 2016, Francis accused the leaders of the Curia of malicious and hidden resistance to reform, a resistance that was a sport that sprouts in disturbed minds.

Child protection and the sex abuse scandal

Pope Francis created a Commission for the Protection of Minors, under his close ally, Cardinal Sen OMalley of Boston. In June 2015 the commission proposed a tribunal that would hold bishops to account for failing to deal with reported cases of child sex abuse. Francis gave it his backing, but the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith found it had unspecified legal problems. The commission has stalled ever since.

Luther had a point

Francis went to Sweden in October 2016 to mark the quincentenary of the Reformation. During a service in Lund Cathedral he praised Martin Luther for restoring the centrality of scripture. There was corruption in the church, worldiness, attachment to money and power, he said. Some conservatives were unimpressed by this display of ecumenism.