#and he’s like no i just want to know the path for myself

[inkdrinkerworld]

Maybe Spencer is having a bad BAD day, full on ptsd, and sunshine!reader is trying hard to cheer him up. It gets to a point where Spmcer just snaps and says something mean and starts a fight

Spencer can feel the bars around him. He feels trapped in his own mind because he can see that he isn’t in prison anymore, but his brain has been conjuring these vivid dreams of him being back and of Shaw sending men to beat him up.

Every night, the dreams end with Spencer never being found not guilty and him having to spend five years in prison and his eventual death from Shaw’s men.

He’s gasping and shaking and there’s a sweat spot on his sheets. He apologises every morning, you tell him it’s okay and that you’re here to talk. He never wants to talk about it and you never push.

He doesn’t sleep the rest of the night and it makes him irritable.

When he comes into work, you try not to internalise the way he brushes you out of his path as he beelines for the coffee pot.

“I already put your cup on your desk. With breakfast.” You try to temper your cheeriness when you notice the way his shoulders tense.

Spencer wants to be grateful, but all he can think is, ‘I can do it myself. I can take care of myself.’

He doesn’t say anything, not a quiet thanks, not even a half smile.

Your nerves are frayed immediately.

You don’t know what Spencer experienced in prison, he’s told you bits and pieces, the nicer parts of living in a 4 x 4.

Yet, you know the signs of PTSD and as the day drags on, you’re almost certain Spencer’s having a rough go of things.

He’s been snappy with Luke, nice with Penelope, and then flippant with you all over again. It’s hard not to feel like nothing you do is helping.

“We could go out to get lunch. From the place you like, the burger joint.” Spencer’s been slipping in and out of this conversation and the longer he hears your sweet voice, the more it sounds like chalk grating a blackboard.

At his silence, “Or we could order in? Whatever helps, Spence.”

Suddenly, his coffee cup is shattering in the wall behind your head and Spencer’s chest is racing. “Stop!” You feel hot tears prick behind your eyes at being yelled at; at work no less.

“It would help if you weren’t fucking hovering all the damn time. I can take care of myself, I don’t need your help. As a matter of fact, I don’t want your help. Go find someone else to be happy go lucky with, some of us can’t stand it.”

Your breath hitches, you’ve never heard Spencer speak with such venom. You reach a hand to your cheek pulling it away to find blood on your fingertips. Spencer must see it too because he’s on his feet, reaching for you as you step away from his outstretched hands.

You try to remind yourself that he’s just reeling, that he’s been having a rough couple of nights, that this will pass and that you don’t need to be mean to him too. “Fuck you Spencer.” The words are out of you before you can think about it much more. It’s honestly the nicest thing you could muster right now, embarrassment and defeat hot in your chest.

Emily and Matt rush in, finding Spencer tugging at his hair. Emily sighs as she sees the broken mug, Matt sighs as he notes your missing presence.

“Fucking stupid.” Spencer murmurs to himself, pushing back his chair, digging around in his desk for a first aid kit. “I’ll come back and clean it up,” no one is really listening. Emily will do this for him while he cleans up his other mess.

Spencer finds you in the bathroom with Penelope cleaning the little shards from your hair and cheek.

She glares at him and Spencer feels even worse; to top it off you don’t even look at him, just at his shoes.

“I’ll finish it, Garcia.” She stills, not knowing what to do. As she looks at you, you give her a little nod and she leaves, rubbing your back as she goes.

Spencer doesn’t approach you for some time, standing there like you’re the one who exploded and he’s waiting for another shout.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, taking up the tweezers Penelope left behind and reaching for your cheek. Spencer cradles your face gently as he picks the shards out. “I shouldn’t have thrown the mug, or said any of what I said.”

You don’t say anything, letting him continue. “You don’t hover, and I love that you’re always smiling and happy. It’s not an excuse but my dreams are really getting to me, but I shouldn’t have taken that out on you.”

You offer Spencer your other hand. You weigh your words, “No you shouldn’t have. I understand that some of what happened while you were in prison is too hard to talk about, but you need to talk to someone Spencer. You can’t just throw things and scream and then shut people out.”

He nods, “Luke recommended me to a psychiatrist for people suffering from PTSD, but I guess I felt like going would be me admitting that things there got to me.”

You sigh, “I’m not sure if I can do this if you’re going to shut me out and be violent like that.” At Spencer’s panicked eyes you continue. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose, but this unchecked shit is going to. Whether you mean for it to or not.”

Spencer opens the first aid kit and swipes at your cheek gently, grateful that it hadn’t been a deep cut. Still he knows the silver scar it’s going to leave will eat at him forever.

“I made an appointment for tomorrow at nine.” He mumbles, worry and dread eating at his stomach. “I know it might take a bit for you to trust me again-“

You roll your eyes, “I do trust you. I trust that you’ll go to therapy, use all the tools given to you and cue me in when things are too hard. I trust that you won’t do this again Spencer. I’m not going to punish you for having an off day.”

Tears spring to his eyes unconsciously, “You don’t want to leave? Because I’d understand if you wanted to.”

You kiss his wrist, “No I don’t want to. I know you’re going to get better, but if there’s a next time, Spencer I’m not staying.”

“There won’t be a next time, I swear.” He kisses right under your injured cheek, tender and soft.

[brookghaib-blog]

Whispers of the past pt.6

Pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x reader

tw: alcoholism, suggestive themes, depression

Summary: 10 years ago, Y/N went missing after being attacked by a kaiju, now working by Gen Narumi's side as his secret weapon, she hides herself in hopes that one day she reconnects with her first love, Hoshina Soshiro.

pt.5

--

-- flashback --

The soft glow of the evening sun filtered through the curtains of our small bedroom, casting a warm, golden hue across the room. Soshiro and I lay side by side on the bed, our fingers intertwined as we stared up at the ceiling, lost in the comfort of each other’s presence. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us in our little sanctuary.

“Do you ever think about the future, Soshiro?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. It was a question that had been on my mind for a while, one that I had been too afraid to ask until now.

Soshiro turned his head to look at me, his dark eyes softening. “All the time,” he replied, a small smile playing on his lips. “I think about it a lot.”

I turned on my side to face him, propping my head up with my hand. “What do you see?”

He took a deep breath, his gaze drifting back to the ceiling. “I see myself in the Defense Force,” he said, his voice filled with quiet determination. “I want to protect people, to fight against the kaiju. It’s something I’ve always felt called to do.”

I nodded, understanding his passion. Soshiro had always been brave, always the one to stand up for others. “I know you’ll be amazing,” I said softly. “You have the strength and the heart for it.”

“And what about you, Y/N?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine again. “What do you see?”

I hesitated, my thoughts swirling. “I want to study astrophysics,” I admitted, my voice trembling slightly. “I want to become a scientist, to explore the stars and unlock the mysteries of the universe. I wouldn't be able to be in the Defence Force… I’m scared.”

Soshiro’s brow furrowed. “Scared of what?”

“I'm not strong enough,” I confessed. “I see the kaiju, and I feel so helpless. I’m afraid I’m too weak to fight them, to make a difference.”

He reached out, gently cupping my cheek. “You’re not weak, Y/N. You’re one of the strongest people I know. And you don’t have to fight kaiju to make a difference. Your mind, your curiosity—those are your strengths. You can make a difference in your own way.”

I leaned into his touch, my heart swelling with love for him. “Thank you, Soshiro,” I whispered. “You always know what to say.”

He smiled, his thumb brushing softly against my skin. “It’s the truth. You have a brilliant mind, Y/N. The world needs people like you to push the boundaries of knowledge and explore new frontiers. Just because you’re not on the front lines doesn’t mean you’re not fighting your own battles and making a difference.”

His words wrapped around me like a warm blanket, easing my fears. “I guess I just need to believe in myself more, I'll be a great cientist, can you imagine our kids, a fighter as a father and a cientist as a mother” I said, my voice steadier now.

“Well that means you could never leave my side.” he said, his gaze steady and reassuring. “No matter where life takes us, we’ll support each other.”

I nestled closer to him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest. “Promise?”

“Promise,” he replied, kissing the top of my head.

We lay there in comfortable silence for a while, the future feeling both distant and close. I could see the determination in Soshiro’s eyes, the fire that burned within him. And in that moment, I knew that no matter where our paths took us, we would always support each other.

Later that evening, I found myself in the kitchen, talking to my mother as she prepared dinner. The comforting aroma of her cooking filled the room, and I felt a sense of warmth and belonging.

My brother was on the ground, just making some drawings that will never make their way into our fridge, my mother was to rigid with her aesthetic to allowed that stick man up.

“You and Soshiro seem closer than ever,” my mother remarked, glancing at me with a knowing smile as she stirred a pot on the stove.

I blushed, nodding. “We are,” I admitted. “I love him so much, Mom. I can’t imagine my life without him.”

She set down the knife she was using to chop vegetables and turned to face me fully. “Do you ever think about your future together?” she asked gently, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

“All the time,” I replied, my voice filled with emotion. “I dream of marrying him, of building a life together. I know he wants to join the Defense Force, and I want to support him in that. Most of all, I just want us to be happy, to be together.”

My mother smiled, her eyes softening. “That’s a beautiful dream, Y/N. And I believe in you. You’re stronger than you think, and I know you and Soshiro will find a way to make your dreams come true.”

I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, overwhelmed by the love and support from my mother. “Thank you, Mom,” I whispered, hugging her tightly. “I hope you’re right.”

As I stood there, embraced by my mother’s warmth, I felt a renewed sense of determination. Soshiro and I had our dreams, our fears, and our uncertainties. But we also had each other, and that was a foundation strong enough to build any future.

Back in the bedroom, I found Soshiro still lying on the bed, lost in his own thoughts. I climbed back in beside him, resting my head on his chest. “I was talking to my mom,” I said softly. “About us.”

He wrapped his arm around me, holding me close. “What did she say?”

“She just wants us to be happy” I replied. “That we’re stronger than we think, and that we’ll find a way to make our dreams come true.”

He smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “She’s right, you know. We will. Together.”

I closed my eyes, letting the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lull me into a sense of peace. With Soshiro by my side, I felt ready to face whatever the future held. Our dreams, our love, and our determination would guide us through any challenges that came our way.

The evening stretched into night, the room gradually darkening as the sun set. We stayed wrapped in each other's arms, our whispered conversations filling the space between us. We talked about our fears, our hopes, and our dreams. We made plans and shared secrets, each word strengthening the bond we shared.

“I can’t wait to see the stars,” I said dreamily, my eyes half-closed as I imagined the endless expanse of the universe. “To study them up close, to understand the mysteries they hold.”

Soshiro’s fingers gently traced patterns on my arm. “And I can’t wait to see you achieve that dream,” he said. “You’re going to do amazing things, Y/N. I know it.”

I turned to look at him, my heart swelling with love. “And you’re going to be an incredible soldier, Soshiro. The Defense Force is lucky to have someone like you.”

He smiled, his eyes shining with affection. “We’ll both make our mark on the world, in our own ways. And we’ll always have each other, no matter what.”

I kissed him then, a soft, lingering kiss that spoke of promises and futures yet to come. As our lips parted, I rested my forehead against his, feeling a profound sense of contentment.

“I love you, Soshiro,” I whispered, my voice filled with all the emotion I felt.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he replied, his words a gentle caress.

We fell asleep that night holding each other, our dreams intertwined. The future was uncertain, but with Soshiro by my side, I felt ready to face whatever came our way. Our love was a beacon, guiding us through the darkness, giving us the strength to pursue our dreams and build a life together.

--

present time, Y/N's pov:

This silly thoughts... So many dreams just for me to join this life and lost him.

As days goes by I found myself in a deeper void, since I saw him happy without me I could never figure it out why I can't just live on with my life and enjoy it. Well maybe became I turned into an abomination, forced to live a completely different life that I've always wanted, with the man I always wanted. That'll do it.

I was doing fine a few days ago when reality gave a slap in the face, but day by day I became certain of what was taken from me. But even staying home doing nothing was a luxury nowadays, since i'm not an official soldier, my only income is the bar.

My only determination was to be strong enough to reach his side and be with him forever, an happy ending to a tragic story. That was down the drain. That place was now occupied, and I tend to forget that i'm no longer just a human.

Life was losing colour and I was losing my mind.

I guess that's how you ended up here Chisuka. I though as I was looking to the table full of drinks in the backrooms.

Since my performance where I saw him in the crowd, I asked Mr. Orochi for an occasional spot as a dancer, even if he doesn't see me, I can see him and I can show myself. How did I end up being this desperate, he never came after that, I never saw him again, which made it somehoe worse, he never came because he as someone, that's my reminder.

I poured another drink, the amber liquid splashing over the rim of the glass and pooling on the scratched wooden table. I downed it in one gulp, feeling the burn as it slid down my throat. The alcohol was supposed to numb the pain, but it only seemed to amplify it, bringing my heartbreak into sharper focus. I could still see Hoshina's face in my mind, his smile, his eyes—everything about him that had captivated me from the start.

The door to the backroom creaked open, but I barely registered the sound. I was lost in my own world, drowning in a sea of regret and longing. It wasn't until I felt a hand on my shoulder that I snapped out of my stupor.

"Chisuka," a familiar voice said gently.

I turned to see Narumi standing beside me, his expression filled with concern. "Narumi," I slurred, blinking to clear my vision. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw your performance," he replied, pulling up a chair and sitting across from me. "You were amazing, as always. But you seemed… off. What's going on?"

I laughed bitterly, the sound hollow and devoid of joy. "What's going on? I've lost him, Narumi. Soshiro chose Mina over me. How do you think I'm doing?"

Narumi's brows furrowed with sympathy. "I'm sorry, Chisuka. I may not understand the situaton but this is not the way to cure whatever you're feeling look at yourself."

I shrugged, my shoulders slumping. "Why would you? It's not like I've made a big deal about it. But it's killing me inside."

Narumi reached out and took my hand, squeezing it gently. "You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you."

I looked at him, my eyes glassy with tears. For a moment, I saw not Narumi, but Soshiro. The lines between reality and my imagination blurred, and the face I longed to see appeared before me.

"Soshiro?" I whispered, my heart aching with hope and desperation.

Narumi frowned, confused. "Chisuka, it's me, Narumi."

But I didn't hear him. In my mind, it was Soshiro sitting across from me, his hand holding mine. I leaned in, my breath hitching as I moved closer to his face.

"Soshiro, I've missed you so much," I murmured, my voice breaking.

"Chisuka, wait—" Narumi started, but I silenced him with a finger pressed to his lips.

"Shh, just let me have this moment," I pleaded, my eyes begging for understanding.

Before Narumi could react, I closed the distance between us, my lips brushing against his in a tentative kiss. For a heartbeat, he was too stunned to move, caught off guard by the intensity of my emotions. His scent, a mix of leather and something uniquely him, enveloped me, and I clung to the illusion that it was Soshiro.

I deepened the kiss, pouring all my pain and longing into it. In my mind, I was finally with Soshiro, the man I had loved for so long. I clung to the illusion, desperate for the comfort it brought. The feel of his lips, the warmth of his touch—it was all I had been yearning for.

Narumi didn't pull away. Instead, he hesitated only for a moment before returning the kiss, perhaps sensing that I needed this—needed to feel wanted, needed to feel loved, even if it was just an illusion. His hands gently cupped my face, and I melted into him, my tears mingling with our kiss.

In that moment, I let go of everything. I allowed myself to believe that Soshiro was with me, holding me, kissing me. The pain and the heartache faded into the background, replaced by a desperate, aching need. I wrapped my arms around Narumi's neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

His response was tender, careful. He matched my fervor, his lips moving against mine with a softness that spoke of understanding and compassion. He held me tightly, his hands tracing soothing patterns on my back as if trying to ease the turmoil within me.

Time seemed to stand still as we kissed, lost in a world where my pain was momentarily forgotten. In that backroom, under the dim light and away from prying eyes, I allowed myself to fall into the illusion completely. I needed this connection, this semblance of love, even if it was fleeting and born out of my desperation.

“Soshiro,” I whispered, my voice trembling. The lines between reality and my imagination were still blurred, and I clung to the comforting illusion. “Do you… do you think I’m beautiful?”

Narumi’s expression softened, concern etched into his features. “Chisuka, it’s me, Narumi.”

I shook my head, my grip on his shirt tightening. “ Am I beautiful to you?” I felt a surge of insecurity, the doubts that had plagued me for so long bubbling to the surface. “Do you think I have a great body?”

Narumi hesitated, his brows furrowing with worry. “Chisuka, you’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful, inside and out.”

My breath hitched at his words, a mix of relief and confusion washing over me. I could see his lips moving, hear his voice, but in my mind, it was still Soshiro speaking to me, his warm eyes gazing into mine.

“But why didn’t you choose me?” I asked, my voice breaking. “Why did you choose Mina over me?”

Narumi’s eyes widened, and he gently cupped my face, forcing me to look at him. “Chisuka, listen to me. I’m Narumi, not Soshiro. You’re hurting, and I understand that, but you have to see me for who I am, you are more than enough. You’re amazing and talented and beautiful. Soshiro’s choice doesn’t define your worth.”

I heard his words, but they felt distant, like an echo in my mind. My insecurities clawed at me, the pain of rejection and loss too much to bear. I clung to the illusion, desperate for the comfort it brought, even if only for a moment.

“Please,” I begged, my voice barely above a whisper. “Just tell me that I’m beautiful. That I’m enough.”

Narumi’s grip on my face tightened slightly, his eyes searching mine with a depth of understanding that took my breath away. “You are beautiful, Chisuka. You are more than enough. But you have to see that for yourself. Soshiro’s decision doesn’t change who you are.”

My tears flowed freely, my body trembling with the weight of my emotions. I wanted to believe him, to accept his words, but the pain was too raw, too fresh. I leaned in again, pressing my lips to his, needing the physical connection to ground me, to make me feel something other than the ache in my heart.

Narumi responded with a gentleness that broke through my haze of desperation. His lips moved against mine, soft and tender, his hands cradling my face as if I were something precious.

As the emotional weight of the evening bore down on me, my body began to tremble, my strength waning. The room started to spin, the shadows merging into a blur of dark hues and soft light. Narumi's voice seemed to come from a distance, his concerned words fading into a muffled echo.

“Chisuka, are you okay?” he asked, his voice tinged with alarm as he noticed my unsteady sway.

I tried to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. My vision darkened at the edges, a heavy fog settling over my mind. I felt my legs give way, and the last thing I registered was Narumi’s arms wrapping around me, catching me before I hit the floor.

“Chisuka!” he called out, his voice urgent and filled with worry.

But I was already slipping into unconsciousness, the world around me fading into a comforting blackness. In those final moments, I allowed myself to surrender to the darkness, my body and mind seeking refuge from the overwhelming pain.

--

Narumi's pov:

The morning sun filtered through the windshield as I drove Chisuka home, her silhouette peaceful in the passenger seat, her exhaustion evident after a night of emotional turmoil. Her vulnerability had shaken me to the core—seeing her in such pain, desperate for comfort that I couldn't fully provide.

Navigating through the quiet streets, I couldn't shake off the weight of the night. Chisuka's emotional outpouring, her confusion, and her desperate attempt to find solace in me—all of it swirled in my mind like a tumultuous storm. She had been clinging to an illusion of Soshiro, lost in her grief and longing. And in my heart, I knew I couldn't compete with the shadow of the man she loved.

Pulling up to her apartment building, I gently shook Chisuka awake. She stirred, blinking sleepily, and for a moment, confusion clouded her eyes before recognition set in.

“Hey,” I said softly, trying to keep my voice steady. “We’re here.”

Chisuka nodded slowly, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. “Oh, right. Thank you for bringing me home, Narumi.”

I managed a small smile, though inside, my heart was heavy with conflicting emotions. “No problem. How are you feeling?”

Her expression darkened slightly, a hint of discomfort crossing her features. “I… I don’t really remember much from last night. Did something happen?”

I hesitated, unsure of how much to divulge. “You were upset, Chisuka. We talked… and then you passed out. I brought you here.”

She frowned, clearly troubled by the gaps in her memory. “I’m sorry, Narumi. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble.”

“It’s okay,” I assured her gently, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “You were going through a lot. Just rest now, okay?”

Chisuka nodded again, her troubled expression tugging at my heart. “Yeah, I… I think I need some time to sort things out.”

As she stepped out of the car and walked toward her building, I watched her with a sense of helplessness. The events of last night had made one thing painfully clear—I couldn’t be the one to heal Chisuka's heart. No matter how much I cared for her, no matter how deeply I wished to ease her pain, Soshiro Hoshina held a place in her heart that I couldn’t compete with.

The weight of the night’s revelations bore down on me. I had hoped that I could be the one to comfort Chisuka, to help her move on from her past. But as I replayed our shared moments in my mind—the desperation in her kiss, the vulnerability in her voice—I couldn’t ignore the reality staring me in the face.

Soshiro was a part of Chisuka’s story that I couldn’t erase. He had left an indelible mark on her heart, and I was just a bystander, unable to fill the void he had left behind. As much as it hurt, I had to accept that some battles were beyond my reach.

Arriving at my apartment, I leaned against the door heavily, closing my eyes as I processed everything that had transpired. The ache in my chest was raw, a mix of longing and resignation. Chisuka needed time to heal, to come to terms with her feelings for Soshiro.

And as much as it hurt, I knew I had to give her that time. I would be there for her as a friend, supporting her through her journey of self-discovery. But deep down, I knew that I had to confront my own emotions too—to acknowledge that my feelings for Chisuka couldn’t change the past or dictate her future.

As I sank onto the couch in my living room, I stared out of the window at the city below, the morning light casting long shadows across the streets. The world moved on, indifferent to the turmoil within my heart.

For now, I would wait. I would give Chisuka the space she needed, knowing that in time, wounds would heal and hearts would mend. And perhaps, just perhaps, we would both find our way to a brighter tomorrow.

--

Hoshina's pov:

Standing at the edge of the training grounds, I watched with a mixture of awe and heartache as Y/N practiced her martial arts routine. The familiarity of her movements stirred memories long buried—of laughter shared, moments of intimacy, and the unspoken bond we once had.

It's been a few days since I found her in the training campus of the First Division, ever since I try to come by, hoping to get a glimpse of her.

It had been years since Y/N disappeared from my life without a trace. Seeing her now, the years had added a maturity to her grace, but her essence remained unchanged—a beacon of strength and determination.

Determined to unravel the mystery, I began formulating a plan. Quiet inquiries among trusted contacts within the First Division would be my starting point. I needed to know more about her current life, her reasons for disappearing, and whether she still harbored feelings for the life we once shared.

But before delving into investigations, I needed to confirm that it was indeed Y/N. With cautious steps, I made my way toward the First Division base, my heart pounding with anticipation and trepidation.

The base buzzed with activity, officers and recruits focused on their duties. Among them, I caught a glimpse of Y/N—her stride purposeful, her presence commanding attention. She seemed different yet unmistakably herself, a combination that both intrigued and unsettled me.

Finding a secluded spot, I settled into a discreet vantage point, observing Y/N from afar. She interacted with colleagues, her demeanor professional yet distant. I wondered what had transpired in her life, what had prompted her to leave everything behind.

Hours slipped by unnoticed as I remained hidden, my thoughts consumed by memories of Y/N and the unresolved emotions between us. The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting long shadows over the base as day turned to night.

Eventually, Y/N began to make her way towards the exit, her exhaustion evident despite her resilient facade. I hesitated, torn between the desire to confront her and the need to respect her privacy and space.

I waited, leaving some steps behind her, I began to follow her. No matter the time I would find out if she was indeed my Y/N.

Taglist: surprisemodafakas

[the5thcellar]

I actually think Luke is serious about A. That age gap is typically what men marry these days. I think he's crazy about her and was taking it slow after a long term break up before going official. That shows intention, planning, and wanting her. I wouldn't be surprised the official IG couple post is coming soon.

I'm just upset that they took it this far with promo. Tom and Z were meeting each other's family outside of work early on, so to say you are officially brining him to meet the fame was a bit much. Closing your eyes when she touches your face? Grade A acting. I hate that it makes me believe he was never attracted to an amazing woman like Nicola. I feel dumb for falling for it all. I hope Nicola finds a handsome guy who will love her proudly.

that's a really interesting take tbh! ive actually never considered he was serious about her in the sense of marrying - but of course this is purely based off the vibes I get and is entirely my own view.

one of the reasons i say this is because luke doesn't seem too inclined to keep a completely friendly distance between himself and nic - i heard that the QC leads india and corey were shipped really hard by fans as well and he had a gf during the whole press run - and towards the end india and corey started posing separately on carpets (i.e. no touching, no friendly hand around shoulder even during photos etc) because they wanted to emphasise that they were really just friends.

luke in contrast seems to have no qualms about blurring lines - and one of the reasons the more rabid fans kept insulting Antonia was a direct result of the fact that he kept stating his "single" status to press. I think he could have helped Antonia avoid a lot of the flak she drew by just stating that he's seeing someone. but maybe he felt it would draw even more attention to his private life and her? idk. i don't want to puzzle over his motivations because I don't believe they are too complex - I've said this many times before and I'll keep saying it - no matter how good a man seems (and I do believe Luke is very good and sweet), trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment.

more importantly: please don't feel dumb for falling for the hope that nic and luke could be together! i really don't think they were being deliberately disingenuous - i actually think the opposite - i think they themselves are often confused about what they really are and it's just easier to define it as being great friends. it's strange but i get the feeling that they see each other as a source of potential - it's simultaneously impossible and also the easiest thing in the world for them to envision a reality where they're together - there just seems to be many barriers to it happening for real. they're comfortable living in the liminal space between great friendship and great romantic love - it definitely explains why nic said she doesn't have a relationship in her life that's anything close to what she has with luke. I think there just needs to be a decisive push for them to ever move out of this grey area. it'll have to be something massive for it to ever happen... and it's not something I hold out hope for (again, just to avoid disappointment!)

this got really long; I wish nic and luke all the best and I think they have something very special with each other. I think life has many many stops along the way and I don't think luke has found a final stop in his romantic journey with antonia - they are both very young and they don't have the vibe of "together forever" couples - if they did (since luke is such a big believer in love at first sight) - he'd have laid down a commitment a lot sooner.

again I want to emphasise that this is all MY POV - it's the vibe I get. I'm WELL AWARE I don't know these people irl. There's always criticism of how parasocial fandom and stan behaviour are but I think most fans - myself included - are very conscious of the fact that the way we perceive and interact with celebs is completely one sided. I'm also not a psychic or clairvoyant or anything of the sort. i just strangely feel a lot of things all the time and ive never been chill a day in my life 😂

sending you lots of good feelings and healing - I feel your hurt and unease and disappointment because I feel the same, but it gets easier to accept with each day that passes.

[krokusplays]

The Kindest Thing

Jing Yuan x Reader

Rating: Gen

Words: 611

Tags: Angst, no happy ending, rejection, sometimes love just isn't enough, Reader is human

Author's note: I've been hit by Jing Yuan feels, but I've been in an angsty mood. I just couldn't get this out of my head. I hope you like it.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~

The words pierced your heart like shards of ice. The cold they left behind prickled along your spine, wiped your mind blank until nothing but a numbing ache remained that found its way deep inside your soul.

“Forgive me. While I am deeply grateful for the joy you’ve brought to my life and I do find myself longing for these tender emotions, I cannot allow myself to pursue this path for us.”

These words repeated themselves in your head over and over again as you stood in front of him. Each time the meaning behind them settled deeper within your soul. Tears sprang free from your eyes before you even noticed the burning sensation but there was nothing you could do or say for a long time.

You wanted to ask why, wanted to know what’s stopping him. If the feelings were mutual, then why would he not…? Yet, not a single word left your lips.

It felt so selfish to you. Would he rather spend his time thinking about what could have been instead of experiencing it himself? Why not indulge, why not embrace these feelings and spend your time with someone by your side?

But…

Weren’t you just as selfish?

Clinging to his words, to his confession, disregarding anything else he has told you, ignoring everything you knew about him and his life.

He’s been through too much.

You would spend a - your - lifetime with him and one day find your end after a happy and fulfilling life, while he had to go on. He had to live with the grief of losing the one he loved with centuries that lay ahead of him and a hole in his heart that might never be filled again.

How could you dare to want him to put aside all his worries, all his fears, and the sole wish to not get hurt again, because you couldn’t stand the thought of being apart from him?

After all these years of witnessing loved ones leave and die, he wanted to save himself from the inevitable pain after your passing. He knew how heavy this pain could be and if he made the decision that a few years of happiness did not outweigh the cost, then you had no right to push him onto another path.

You bit your lower lip but inhaled audibly, trying to keep yourself from breaking into sobs and for the tears to stop.

When you finally dared to look up at him again you saw all the anguish, the guilt, the longing, the love, and the intensity of it rendered you breathless. All it left you with was a powerful and yet, agonizingly painful realization that this hurt him just as much as it hurt you.

But he was strong enough to push it all aside, to burden you both with the pain of a goodbye, knowing that it would come to pass, that it would not linger like the hole a gone loved one left behind.

Even though it tore your heart apart, you smiled up at him. A genuine and heartfelt gesture that didn’t manage to hide how you felt with your skin flushed and the trails of your tears still on your cheeks. But you held your ground. For the kindest thing you could do for him now was to let him go and spare him the inevitable pain of losing you one day.

“Goodbye, Jing Yuan,” you said softly but with a steady voice.

If he ever came to regret it you would never know.

Yet, you would never forget the look of sorrow in those golden, beautiful eyes as you turned around and left.

[factual-fantasy]

30 asks! Thank you!! :}} 🦷

Leave comments on my artwork! :D Either in the comment section, in my ask box, reblogs or tags! Reading all the responses to my artwork is my favorite part of posting on Tumblr and is what keeps me posting! :}}

<XD I wanted him to be. But the spawn rate for female Eevees is 12%!! Heck if I'm gonna run around for hours on end looking for a female!

Besides, drawing Sylveon in a more masculine and chaotic way is fun! And having his backstory be that he evolved out of love for his friends, despite being a man, is a fun origin story! :))

Oh nono, art fight isn't for me 😅 I like to keep my characters to myself and don't tend to draw other peoples characters-

@milk-powrit

I had this idea in my head that big Koopas like Bowser cannot retreat into their shell. But regular little Koopas troops can. But I'm kind'a rethinking that.. I'm considering making all Koopas unable to retreat into their shells :00

Hmm... good question.. perhaps his citizens know, but other kingdoms do not.?

..Are you alright-

@jeysecretive

I'm sure I'm not the first person to come up with this idea, so I have no right to say you cant do it too. Go right ahead!

Of all the food related Pokémon I can remember.. Alcremie is pretty cute :)))

@kermit-ydafrog (Sent after this post)

.....For some reason I don't believe you Kermit-

XDD THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :)))))

@untitled-7613

:0 A logo? Where would I put it?

@foxdemon-loser

Aww! What a cute widdle fox.. 🥺💞💞

(In response to an ask from this post)

No problem! Thank you for the asks! :))

@im-nice-but-i-dont-like-you

Today wasn't as bad as it could have been! Thank you! :)) I wish the same for you!

I think you're right about this. And yeah, involving money with my favorite hobby probably just isn't a great idea.. 😔

I haven't caught up with Octonauts recently, so I don't know who you're talking about.. <://

<XD For me its the opposite. I get so caught up in the routine of my usual candle run path that I forget to go out of my way to snatch up the winged lights-

:DDD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :]]]]

I'd prefer a cold shower personally! <XD

@anikakitty11

The baby..... 🥺🥺🥺🥺

@dooflizard

Oooo! Nifty! :00 Thanks for telling me about this! :))

@wolfie-777

Ah nooo, I have no plans to do so! <:/

@olives-in-shadows

Something about this baby looks oddly mischievous...

@savetheearthbros

AAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DDDD I should totally draw them again sometime!! :000

@teemhauntsSorry for the late reply! Tumblr ate this ask-- I use FireAlpaca! :)) Its free and easy to learn for beginners, but has a lot of tools for the pros! But be warned, it can be a bit buggy at times-

Grizzly Bears! :DDD

@mason-gaylord

Awe, thank you!! :)))

@charactersnatcher

:DD THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :}}}}

Man I haven't had pizza in a while- thank you! :))

I would prefer to be frozen actually! <XDD I don't take the heat well 💀

[spacerockfloater]

House of the Dragon, Season 2, Episode 1: Discussion

Overall, I did not like the episode at all.

First of all, am I crazy or was the whole scene at Winterfell and the Wall purely fanservice so that HOTD can gain the sympathy of old fans? I mean, it lasted like, 2 minutes, and added nothing to the plot. Cregan’s speech was amusing though.

Daemon didn’t let a single moment go to waste before he started acting like a king. Typical and at least consistent with his character.

Sigh. Preparing myself for the backlash I’m going to receive for this. I did not like the way Rhaenyra’s and Jace’s emotions were portrayed. Where was the shock? The agony? The horror? The pain? Too much silent grief for someone who just found out that their son/ brother was murdered. Hell, Rhaena showed more emotion than both of them combined and we saw her face for merely a second.

Good for my girl Alicent for finally getting some I guess, but the Alicole sex scenes were weak as fuck. No passion, no chemistry. It was robotic as shit. All that subtle tension between them during the first season led to nothing. Rushed as fuck and not at all what they made us think it would be. Provided absolutely zero context. Boring as hell, too. Thank fuck that it was leaked because it would have been a jumpscare. Nothing could have prepared me for it, it came out of nowhere.

Alicent standing her ground against Otto was surprisingly very good. I loved seeing her take the lead. And it was touching to see her light a candle for Luc, too.

Aegon II was very entraining. Refreshing to see him try to be a good king, actually care for his subjects and love his son. Distracts you from the fact that he’s still a stupid unseasoned teenager. Looking forward to some more character development on his part.

Now, what the actual fuck could Aemond ever possibly have to be angry about? Didn’t he just have his revenge? Who is he so pissed at?

Daemon and his murder cloak are the strongest ship in HOTD, which they should rename to “House of Misunderstandings” at this point.

I nearly pissed myself when Cheese’s super secret hidden path through the castle, that only he as a specialist knows, was crossing the fucking throne room on their tippy toes. Did they sneak back outside to meet Daemon the same way while leaving a bloody trail behind them? Are the writers actually insane? Who gave that shit the green light? Why does the door to Aemond’s room open by a lever? Is he Batman? Where the actual fuck was literally everyone? The guards? The servants? The ladies of honour? How was the fucking queen all alone?

And lastly, speaking of the queen… Oh my God. This was the most anticlimactic scene in the whole episode. I nearly fell asleep. I don’t know what’s Helaena’s deal, like is she neurodivergent? Is she just not fazed by anything because she has already seen everything play out in her head before it actually happens? It’s never explained and it makes it so infuriating that she looks just… concerned. Not traumatized or shocked, just perplexed and worried, lol. She pointed to her son faster than lightning. Did she just want all of it end as fast as possible? No idea. All the tragedy of the situation was removed. Luc’s death was much more impactful and shook the audience. This seemed so underwhelming and stale. And then Helaena quietly goes to her mother’s room, walks past her riding Criston like this happens to her every Tuesday, sits down, refers to her own son as “the boy”, and looks slightly distraught. Dian Doesn’t even shed a single tear. Nothing like the mourning woman gone mad by grief we saw in the trailer, though maybe we just have to wait I suppose. Like, lol okay. This was not giving like y’all promised it would. The only grotesque thing about it was listening to them sawing Jaehaerys’ head off.

The episode felt rushed as fuck and has severely reduced my interest in hating or loving any of the characters. There’d better be some top notch acting next Sunday or I’m dropping the show.

All opinions are welcome, just please be civil to one another!

[lilgynt]

common thick hair dub started pulling chunks of hair out can’t even tell where

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

[my-current-obsession]

Does anyone know if in P3 Reload ALL the girls have a completely platonic path where they don't confess and/or ask how you feel about them?

I managed to get Chihiro and Aigis platonic, intentionally romanced Yukari, think I know where I screwed up with Fuuka (who I've heard can be platonic), have NO idea where I screwed up with Yuko since I tried NOT to flirt with her, and wasn't able to get Mitsuru to rank 9 before it was too late, so I don't know about her at all.

I ASSUME that all girls have a platonic option - I honestly figured that if anyone didn't, it would be Yukari and Aigis, but since Aigis does that would JUST be Yukari as a must romance/reject, which is maybe more "canonizing" than the devs want for any one girl.

[wernerherzogs]

two full seasons deep into yellowstone and i still don't get why beth hates jamie so much

[oatbugs]

i feel conflicted abt my relationship...need advice etc . in tags . pls i need input sm

[scoreplings]

i hate when i do stupid shit that i know will make me more upset and then i get more upset

[sludgeguzzler]

gotta love discussing your career with your father

[fingertipsmp3]

Being friends with me must be exhausting fr. Imagine waking up and seeing that your dumbest friend sent you a whole ass rant starting with “SOS” and the salient points are there’s a guy with swoopy hair at her work and she doesn’t know how to deal

[calcescarp]

i thought i was done with my 3h recruitment fretting but i am back at it (oh my god i'm going to have to reblog this to keep blathering on in the tags. i didn't know there was a 30 tag limit)

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

just at a fucking stalemate in my life right now ugh