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#my mom said she’s sending dad to a home bc we obviously can’t do it
lilgynt · 2 years
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common thick hair dub started pulling chunks of hair out can’t even tell where
#personal#it was at the front of my head too like damn bitch. my hairline.#my mom said she’s sending dad to a home bc we obviously can’t do it#and i was like oh for sure if that’s best but don’t do that bc of me pulling hair#i’ve been self harming since ten cmon this is pretty normal#she was like 🤨 okay#i drafted this and then not kidding my dad#okay so first hair pull came bc my dad requested the rest room at like 11:40#which like fair you gotta piss you gotta piss#walk him down with the walker but he got turned around and disoriented in the bathroom#god im so awful he’s not eating to stop using the bathroom to stop bothering us then i’m crying at 3 am walking him there#anyway so he’s like where am i and im like the bathroom and he’s like i don’t need to use the bathroom my bad#walk him back - he’s like take me to the bathroom#and we’re like?? do you need to go?#and he’s like no i just want to know the path for myself#and he won’t let my mom get five steps away she’s severly sleep deprived and tells him no#you’re going to bed i’m going to bed grahams goign to bed and they’re fighting#dads like i’m gonna leave to find someone outside to help me#moms grabbing my arm and walking away and dads right there and then i’m screaming at them#cause i understand both my dads so anxious and scared and my mom is so exhausted#anyway yelling works everyone stops fighting blah blah mom goes to bed dad does too#five minutes later hear my dad in the living room clattering around and walk in to him holding the tv up and it’s FALLING#so i run over pick it up and my fucking god#we were talking earlier how he thought the tv was a door bc of the light#and he was trying to? get out? go to the rest room? i don’t know#either way walk him to the bathroom and back#cry go to bed cover my ears when i hear him clap for help again at 3 am then get up and help him#mom scared the shit out of me i was setting up the water for my dad and crying and my mom just APPEARED in the shadows#i feel so bad she saw that bc i closed her door and left mine open so she could sleep!!!!!!#she’s sleeping on the couch with him rn i should wake her up and let her go to bed but i dont want to i dont want to i dont how she does it
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cressida-cowper · 11 months
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do you guys think it’s time to send my parents the audhd symptom master doc i made a month ago
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my-castles-crumbling · 4 months
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Ok cas you can tell this has been a rough few days since I’ve sent you like 3 messages, Swiftie anon, btw. so my parents want my brother to switch roommates, which he obviously doesn’t want to do, they’re friends and apparently there’s a non-binary/gemderfluid person in the room. The building is set up so everyone has their own rooms, but 4 people share like a bathroom and living space. I think the building is co-ed, but they don’t share dormitories, idk tho My parents didn’t know until yesterday, and they got so mad. My mom said “I can tell you (deadname) is a boy, no matter how many hormones or surgeries he will always be a boy.” And a bit later when my brother wouldn’t respond, bc then yelling at you is paralyzing, my mom said “why do you want to room with him? He’s a girl, he wants to be a girl” so hypocritical And my dad kept edging him, like “why is it so important that you share a room with your friend” when before they were like having a roommate be someone you know is important. And then my mom said “I would argue that you don’t really know (deadname). Did you know he was trans when you met him?” It was so bad, and they were talking in like really low, gravely voices, and there was like a pit in my stomach, the entire time. We left, after my parents started arguing, and mom told my dad that she was tired of enforcing things. And then my dad came over to my brothers room cussed him out, and told him to write an email requesting a room change. And my brother doesn’t want to, he’s an introvert, he has anxiety, and the only friend that’s going to college with him is his trans friend. My brother still said no, and I already said I would, and my parents got mad saying that they’re family, and he should care about disappointing the more than his friends. And idk what the fuck to do, my parents where and that this happened without their permission, my brother isn’t 18 yet , he turns 18 in August. They said they might unenroll him. And it isn’t fair, this should be about how comfortable my brother is with his school. After, my brother said it’ll be okay, and I’m sorry. It’s not he’s fault, he’s done so much for me and I hate to see him like this. And idk how it’ll be okay , no one can help, and now I have to go to church, every week, and I’ll hate it, ik I will all those people talking about love and shit are probably bigots. I can’t write as much from now on bc I get my phone taken as soon as I get home, and I wrote this on the walk home.
as for the discord thing, I have to send an app request, I tried getting it but I can’t. And I do have another anon, so try and guess who it is. bye have a good day night.
Hi hon!
TW: transphobia
So…I’m gonna say I doubt your parents will unenroll your brother. It sounds like they’re the type to value college a LOT.
As far as what you can do…unfortunately, all you can do is support your brother. Remind him you care and that you support his choices. You can’t change your parents minds and it sounds like you’ll be unsafe in trying to do so.
As far as your third anon…god, I’m terrible at guessing. Is it youngest sibling? I don’t have my computer with me rn so I can’t check my spreadsheet to see if that matches up lol.
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winderlylandchime · 10 months
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I wasn’t even going to send this at first but i figured you guys deserve to witness the type of stupidity i deal with every day.
He told our mom about his broken wrist and this is how he decided to do it. Earlier today/yesterday (I completely am fucking up my sleep schedule right now) were on facetime talking and you could see him trying to find the courage to do it and then our mom said something along the lines of how horrible something would be. And he apparently decided that this was his opportunity because he went ‘yeah, you know what else would be really horrible mom? Breaking *both* of your arms. That’d be a nightmare! Can’t brush your teeth, can’t go to the bathroom alone. Can’t do anything!’ And you could see our dad in the background with his head in his hands because he accidentally found out about his broken wrist and swore us to secrecy about him knowing. And our mom the whole time was just staring at him like he’s fucking stupid and then very slowly as if she’s speaking to an child she goes ‘yes…(his name)….that would be….bad..’ and this idiot goes ‘mhm, which is why thank god, i only broke one of my wrists’ And she obviously yells out ‘YOU DID WHAT?! How did you do that? What did you do?!’ Then she started calling for me to find out what happened and somehow i got in trouble and she’s freaking out if the rest of him is okay and that he needs to be more careful and she’s talking at the speed of light and he’s trying to cut in and then he just yells ‘YOURE MISSING THE POINT! I CAN STILL PEE ON MY OWN! NO HELP NEEDED’ and all three of us went silent and just stared at him until he went ‘okay yeah, i heard it too.’ The good thing is dad tried to help and changed the topic to make it about my brother’s Justin shirt he was wearing and this idiot went ‘dad, focus. We were talking about my wrist’ and then he noticed dad staring at him like he’s an idiot and he went ‘oh OH yeah, my shirt.’ And just started talking about Justin and Randy’s podcast and how he’s thinking about watching Desperate Housewives bc of Gale (all that was said in one giant long sentence) Our mom was cool after that though and even joined the conversation about Randy. I actually think she is kinda liking the stories about qaf/britin but the problem is she is finding them out through my brother. So if she’d have a more reliable source I’m sure she’d love it and randy/gale as well. Bottom line is: I’m related to an idiot. And it is very late because he kept me up all day and night cause of qaf AND he also have me an entire presentation about what type of video edits about Britin and to which songs he’d like to see. He wanted me to search it on youtube id they exist so he’ll have stuff to watch. So I’ll be back with the updates after I come back to life. Never thought qaf would be destroying my late 20s like it did my early 20s
OH MY GOD. I love your brother. This is my approach to bad news. Or like when I go shopping and come home with a lot of bags. I always tell my spouse to focus on all the things I didn't buy. Entire stores worth of items unpurchased, by me.
Based on what I know about your parents (date nights to the drag bar) I think they would love QAF. But your brother is maybe not the best messenger for it. The most enthusiastic? Absolutely. The best? Mmm. Maybe not.
If he wants fanvids, I love these: https://www.youtube.com/@roseability1804 If you've read LaVieEnRose's fics on AO3, these are her vids!
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knickynoo · 3 years
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Hi! @/chickenmcfly1 here, I can’t actually send asks Bc my blog is a sideblog and idk how to work tumblr lol, but I realized I’d never sent you an ask even though I feel like we’ve rambled a lot on each other’s posts and I appreciate your takes so much so here’s one. What do you think the new 2015 McFly family is like? What is Marty like as a dad and what are jr and Marlene like (do they have the same names?) Etc. Have a good day!!
Yes, we do ramble on each other's posts a lot, don't we? And I think I've sent you a couple of asks at some point, so now that you've sent me one the cycle is complete. 😆
McFly fam 2015:
Marty is psyched to be a father (he's also very nervous, but mostly he's excited), and he's an emotional wreck when the twins are born and cries because he's so happy.
Jennifer, despite having gotten that look at the sad, dysfunctional version of her future family in 2015, feels a lot of hope as she and Marty really begin their life together. She's confident that she and Marty have grown enough as people and will make the right choices to help make a bright future for themselves as a family.
Though by the time his kids are born, Marty's had several years in his updated, more stable family, he's still obviously been shaped by his upbringing in the old timeline. As such, he's very focused on raising his kids with love, support, and encouragement. He protects them, but also allows them to try new things and experience the success and failure that comes with it. He corrects and guides them, but is careful not to be overly critical because he knows what it's like to feel like you're being put under a microscope and having your shortcomings pointed out.
Jennifer loves being a mother, and I can see her wanting to stay home for a while when the twins are young and just devoting her time to being with them. She takes them on outings to expose them to different experiences, has them in playgroups with the kids of her friends, and sets up all sorts of cute routines for them at home (afternoons where they do crafts, bedtime stories, etc).
Marty often fills the house with music. He writes and sings songs for the kids from the time they're born and has special songs for both of them.
Idk if I have many specific ideas on what Jr. and Marlene are like, but I do think that Jr. would be somewhat different than what we see in the movie. He's still shy and sort of discombobulated and easily flustered (takes after his dad that way), but he's not a complete pushover or easily manipulated/bullied by others. Marty and Jen, being much more involved in the new future, model to Jr. from a young age how to deal with those situations and stand up for himself. Plus, having parents who are in a healthy marriage and are overall happy really helps him to not be so anxious.
There's a draft of pt II where Marty (our Marty) is upset to discover that Jr. is in a remedial school, and while I don't like the way it's handled in the draft and am glad it was cut, I actually like that detail in general and am gonna insert it into the future I imagine for them. Mainly because I want to imagine future-Marty not being at all ashamed that his son needs help academically/has a learning disability, and instead being a father who lovingly supports Jr. and wants to do all he can to help him be successful.
Marlene is very independent from a young age. She definitely "mothers" Jr. to the point where Jen sometimes has to be like, "Um, hey. Hi. Yeah, I'm the mom, ok? Go and color or something."
Marlene and Jr. have their own lives and friends, but when it comes down to it, they're each other's best friend. They have all these weird, elaborate inside jokes that leave Marty and Jen scratching their heads because they just have no clue what is going on or what their kids are talking about.
Overall, the McFlys are a tight-knit, loving family. Marty and Jennifer create a wonderful life for themselves and feel happy and fulfilled. They never forget what could have been (and almost was) though, and it makes them all the more thankful for the choices they made and the way they've stuck together through the years.
SIDE NOTE: Doc is also very involved with the McFly fam because I said so, and also because his medical overhaul adding 40 years to his life allows him to continue to be around for a long time. He's known as Uncle Doc and Marlene and Jr. LOVE when he comes to visit because it's nonstop chaos and fun and he brings great presents. Although, they are a little confused as to exactly how old he is and try over the years to get a straight answer and figure it out but never can, so they eventually just accept that it's part of the mystery of Uncle Doc.
Thanks for the ask! Hope you have a good day too! Also, thanks for the quality responses you always add to my posts. =)
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cloudy-leonhart · 4 years
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Marleyan Warriors with a Filipino S/O!!
[Author Note: this is literally a re-do of my headcanons bc tumblr’s being mean and deleting my drafts, anyways trying to rush another finished bc outta here 😭 also! Reminder that my requests are OPEN, don’t be afraid to send in any requests!!]
Summary: Marleyan Warriors with a Pinoy S/O!
Recommended Song: Titibo-Tibo by Moira Dela Torre
TW: Swearing.
Theme: Fluff, Modern AU.
Characters: Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Zeke, Pieck, Porco.
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Annie Leonhart
Annie knew, she actually met you at an event for those with cultures, and saw you dancing with your friends to traditional filipino folk music.
She was kinda hesitant to go when you asked her to accompany you to the Philippines, she didn’t like traveling.
She was kinda shocked on how welcoming your family was, your mom and dad hugged her out of nowhere and she just let out a squeak.
Your little sister forced her to go to SM mall with her omg- She literally came home with bags of candy.
Yes, Annie has a soft spot for your family, she probably almost spent all her money on them.
Buchi rivals her love for donuts. She looked like she discovered a new universe after eating one of them thangs.
God, help her when she’s watching filipino movies, your family encouraged her to watch movies with them, and by the end of it she was a mess, pretty sure she cried into your shoulder after watching Seven Sundays.
BUT LIKE SHE ENDS UP BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARENTS.
You see, Annie is a really fast learner, she was bound to learn to be able to speak some point in her stay.
You were shocked when she spoke back to you in tagalog, like ‘dropped my stuff out of shock’ kinda way. 
IT WAS A PAIN GETTING HER INTO A BARO’T SAYA. But bribing her with Buchis got her to keep it on for like 2 hours so like..good enough.
Her favourite filipino song is Porque.
Everybody acts like it’s a concert for every karaoke night because she’s there, like she’s just THAT good.
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Reiner Braun
This man was so awkward. He went on a trip with Bertholdt to the Philippines, and met you.
He didn’t think you would understand him, so he just stared at you while you talked with your friends, until you were creeped out enough and asked him if he had a problem.
When you and him started dating, you convinced him to travel all around the country. 
Firstly, you guys visited your family, your dad absolutely loved him, your mom was a little bit hesitant in letting him in the family, he was blonde, big and buff. Filipinos are bound to worry. Until Reiner cooked with her, then she started to warm up to him.
Okay but why did your family’s chickens like him so much??
He likes the feeling of being around your family, him not having a dad left an impact on him and he felt complete being with you and your family, he swore to himself that he’d marry you.
He almost fainted when he found you battling with one of the kids with your pet spider, mf was deathly afraid of your spider, it was like the size of your hand pls-
I think he’d be fairly good at speaking tagalog, he’s got an accent but people can understand him. 
He eats like a tito omg- You lost him at a party once and when you found him, he’s already eaten half of the barbecue. 
Everyone thought he was really old, because of his beard so everyone called him tito Reiner. 
He’s somewhat good with the village kids, you could see Reiner playing soccer with the kids or goofing off.
He says he doesn’t like watching Manny Pacquiao but it’s his guilty pressure.
He doesn’t really listen or watch anything filipino, but he will listen to old filipino bands if you play them in his car.
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Bertholdt Hoover
HAHA PLs- you got mad at him for eating your cake and started cursing in filipino. He was confused because he thought you were just blurting out nonsense.
One second you’re explaining what you were saying and the next second y’all are on the way to the Philippines.
He sweats like a waterfall, LITERALLY. Everyone would like move away because he sweated that much.
You had a private island..because y’all were RICH rich. he was kinda awestruck, you literally just said out of nowhere.
“oh yeah, we have a private island.” ‘YOU HAVE A FUCKING WHAT??”
Poor baby was kinda intimidated by your basket-ball player of a brother, he was taller than Bertholdt omg-
You’re always worrying him somehow, he’s be on the toilet and he’d just hear you scream and he comes running down with his boxers, just to see you watching a telenovela and you had to tell him that you were just gushing over the drama.
He has never felt so embarrassed.
Am I the only one who thinks he looks amazing in a Barong?? Like he’d rock that shit- 
He loves eating filipino food, he likes when you guys stay in the country and you go out to buy bread at the nearest bakery.
Like every filipino, he too, dips his bread in coffee.
He ended up learning guitar while he’s in the Philippines, the country’s filled with people who can sing amazingly, he’s bound to learn guitar.
His favourite filipino song to play is Tadhana, it’s also the only song that he knows to sing to, like he absolutely butchers pronunciation for words but this man covers it up with this song.
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Zeke Jaeger
He bumped into you and you cursed at him in tagalog, he basically just fell for you at that point.
I just know your family secretly hates this man, he slapped your ass once around your mom and your dad, it’s always tense when he’s around now.
You don’t have the heart to tell him your parents saw because one afternoon, he was gushing and praising your family, you didn’t want to ruin his happiness, his dad’s barely around and his mom passed away. he’d obviously be attached.
Yes you had to talk to your parents about it, a lot of filipinos are very kinds and forgiving, so your parents were very understanding, and made sure he felt loved around the family.
He actually almost cried when your dad told him to marry you already.
He calls your parents nanay and tatay.
You got him to buy a pet spider please- You would catch him fighting a kid’s spider to the death in a match, he’d feel bad though so he buys them new ones after.
Hey this man looks so hot in a Barong, please. You guys had to book a hotel for a night for some alone time yk.
Lord help this man, he tried to do the tinikling dance and he tripped, in front of everyone.
Every night, he comes to bed all shirtless, you could just hear the air conditioner buzzing as he tells you how fun it was playing with the village kids, or talking about he and your titos had a drink while watching a boxing match.
He more so listens to various artists, he doesn’t have a favourite.
but he will replay Joseph Vincent’s filipino covers.
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Pieck Finger
She was on a business trip in the Philippines, and you were coincidentally at the same bar they were celebrating at. You were by the karaoke section and she kinda just, fell in love with you. right there and then.
Honestly some people thought you guys were siblings, Pieck can be mistaken as a filipino easily so, you guys expect it from time to time.
She likes to ask from time to time to teach her guitar, your mom probably has a lot of pictures of you and Pieck.
She loves eating the food in the Philippines, she thinks the adobo is great and if you lose her in public she’s probably by a street vendor eating food.
You guys dance to old filipino songs, a replaying song for you guys is Mabagal by Daniel Padillia and Moira Dela Torre.
She learnt Moira’s Part while you had Daniel’s part. 
GUys she looks so beautiful in a Baro’t Saya. And she knows it, she flaunts it so well.
You guys probably have a vacation house in the Philippines after leaving with her to go back to her country.
She helps you with packing balikbayan boxes for your family, she makes handwritten letters, she’s both good at writing and saying anything in tagalog. 
Her favourite artist is definitely Moira Dela Torre, she just loves her airy voice.
Favourite Filipino Movie? Yes.
You cannot tell me she doesn’t have a shelf full of filipino movies you guys watch.
Her favourite street food is probably qwek-qwek. She likes the sauce she dips, and she probably bought almost twenty bucks worth of the fishballs.
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Porco Galliard
UGh honestly he’s a little cringey when it comes to the culture, for some reason I can see him accidentally disrespecting it somehow, I can’t help it.
Your family owned a sari-sari store, and he could not help for the love of him, he ended up being the one stocking it up while you chatted with the customers. 
Like Pieck, he and you dance when you’re alone, he probably learnt from Pieck too.
He listens to modern filipino artists, like Ex Battalion, Skusta Clee.
He tries hard to really be respectful, he butchers the way he says nanay and tatay but your parents appreciate the effort.
I can see him being able to secretly make amazing filipino desserts, his ube cake is bomb.
He watches Basketball with your dad, and they both drink during the match.
I can also see him being the type to scream out curses when he hurts himself, a ‘PUNYETA’ comes out of his mouth.
he doesn’t enjoy the hot weather in the Philippines, and due to that, he wears sandos all the time at home, and when he goes out, every girl always looks at him because he’s ripped, yes you’re jealous, but as you should, he’s your mans-
He also knows how use a barbecue grill? You can find him helping your family members while they’re selling barbecue.
he hates going to SM?? He just really hates going, because you genuinely just go for the food court. They sell hella good food.
One time he got chased by the village dogs, so he doesn’t go out without you or a family member.
He secretly loves watching telenovelas with you.
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maysbanks · 4 years
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hypersonic missiles. (jj maybank)
hello ! some of you may recognise this fic and that’s bc it’s currently being rewritten as an oc fic rather than a reader insert fic which it was before. i can’t wait for you to read this and introduce you all to haley who i love dearly, so pls enjoy and lemme know what you think !!
warnings: swearing, mention of sex, sexual innuendos, drug use, underage drinking, violence etc
summary: after the death of her father, haley grubbs is determined to get the answers her mother seems to be keeping from her, seeking help from a group of pogues (which just happens to include her weekly hook-up) and unknowingly throwing herself into the midst of a treasure hunt.
( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )
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The gang gathered around John B's porch, spaced out in various positions amongst the furniture. Silence engulfed the group, the air thick with tension as none of the four teenagers dared to speak.
"JJ should be the one to go." Kie broke the silence, her words hanging in the air as the group processed them.
Said boy whipped around in his place, golden hair falling in his sea blue eyes as they widened, glancing wildly between each of his friends. "What?" He demanded. "Why me?"
"Because you're the one that's hooking up with her," Pope reminded, matter of fact. As if JJ needed to be reminded. The dark skinned boy gestured between him and the remaining two. "She's gonna trust you more than any of us."
Kiara and John B murmured their agreement, JJ scoffing as he flapped his arms, beginning to pace in his spot. "This is ridiculous," he muttered between gritted teeth. "She won't wanna talk to me any more than she'll want to talk to you guys. I mean, we've only hooked up like," JJ paused - raising a hand to count on his fingers. "Maybe like, eleven times, twelve at a push!"
Kiara scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Wow, how chivalrous of you to keep count, JJ," she drawled sarcastically, the blonde boy simply shrugging in return as he took his formal position of leaning against the Chateau's wall. "Look, the thing is you know her better than the rest of us. You're familiar, we're not. We can't just go up to her and start asking questions about her dead dad and John B's compass."
JJ stared in disbelief. "And you think I can?" He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know if you guys realise this, but hooking up doesn't really require much talking. I barely know her."
"But you know her enough to warm her bed every week," John B piped up, narrowing his eyes at his best friend. JJ sighed, lighting a fresh blunt as he refused to meet any of the gang's eyes, staring ahead. John B stepped over and beside the blonde, arm thrown over his shoulder. "We need answers, JJ. Answers she could have. I mean, it was her dad right? She must know something about why he had my dad's compass."
JJ nodded along, but the uncertain feeling bubbling in his chest didn't cease. Thoughts of the two men that had chased the group the day before, guns blazing, entered his mind. Then the memory of him and John B showing up at the Grubbs' residence, only to discover they had been beaten to it by the very same men - he'd heard them threaten Lana and Haley Grubbs, demanding questions about the same compass that lay heavy in John B's pockets. He knew his best friend deserved answers, why did Scooter Grubbs have Big John's compass the night he died? Why was Scooter Grubbs out in the storm that night anyway? Hell, even JJ wanted answers. But he couldn't shake the doubtful feeling, thoughts of Haley Grubbs swirling in his head.
"I don't think this is a good idea." He tried once more, voice small and defeated. The Pogues shared a glance, and he knew they'd already come to a decision. Sighing, he flicked the butt of his blunt, sending it flying in the opposite direction. "Fine, I'll go talk to her. But I'm not making any promises that she'll talk," he frowned. "Sometimes I kinda get the feeling she doesn't like me."
Kie snorted. "I wonder why."
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What the gang hadn't bargained for, however, was that the same person who'd they been talking about was already on their way to them - boots stomping across the ground in a determined stride, their mind a whirlwind of series of memories, scenarios, and all the events that had happened in the last twenty four hours.
Haley wanted answers, and she wanted them soon. (Sooner rather than later, if she was being precise.) The series of misfortunes events had all begun with the disappearance of her father - for whatever reason, he'd gone out in the storm that raged against the Outer Banks the night prior, and that, unsurprisingly, had led to his death. Memories of his body, washed up on the shore, cold and blue, eyes open but completely lifeless as they stared up at nothing and everything at the same time. Her heart wrenched at the sight, and she still hadn't been able to get the scene out of your head - her mother breaking down in a heap of sobs, Haley’s body following along with her as the pair both held each other and cried, Sheriff Peterkin's voice echoing in Haley’s mind, over and over again, like a siren. “I'm so sorry. There's nothing we could have done."
Haley knew that, of course. But it didn't explain why he was out in the storm in the first place. She had tried to question her mother, because she knew her dad wasn't a fool. Storm Agatha had been reported for weeks following up to it, he'd even made off-handed comments about it over dinner a couple of times. Her dad was aware about the storm, but had still risked his life (and coincidentally, ended it) to take a boat ride, or so that's what her mother told you.
Bull-fucking-shit. Haley knew there was more to the story, the appearance of two men breaking down her door and trashing her whole house was enough proof of that. And the fact that they were asking about a compass, of all things, didn't sit right in Haley’s gut either. Why the hell would two thugs want a compass, and why would her dad have it anyway? To her knowledge, her dad had never owned a compass in his damned life. (He also never owned a boat, which raised the suspicion of how the hell had he even gone out on a boat ride in the first place.) But the pair were persistent, and she was forced to watch as they threatened her and her mom, their last words sticking with her, sending a shiver of dread up her spine every time they echoed in her head; “We'll be back."
It was something straight out of a king-pin movie, and yet Lana Grubbs still wouldn't talk. She knew something, Haley knew it, and why she wouldn't share whatever information she knew with Haley was beyond frustrating - so she decided, fuck it. If her mother wasn't gonna give her her answers, then she was gonna go out and find them herself. Starting with John B. Routledge.
As if things couldn't have gotten any weirder, the teenaged boy had shown up not a minute after the two guys had left, appearing in Haley’s not-so-much of a doorway with the exact thing the thugs were after: the Compass. To her chargin, she hadn't had time to ask any questions though, her mother was quick to dismiss him (and JJ Maybank of all people, but she didn't really want to think about him at the moment) and warned him not to let anyone know that he had the compass, and Haley could see why - those guys were not to be messed with.
And so, John B. Routledge had left the Grubbs’ home, JJ Maybank in tow, and Haley was left to clean up the mess the bastards had left behind them. Her mothers warning rang in her ears; "Stay away from them boys. Do not get involved in this, Hales.” But alas, there she was, storming towards the property she knew the guys would be. Her mother didn't know, of course, and she was determined to make sure Lana never did. (Haley would be the next person she'd be burying if she ever did find it.)
All Haley wanted was answers, and if John B had even a couple, she was going to find them out. Her father had died, and there was more to the story than anyone was letting on. If it was up to her to piece the puzzle together, then so be it. She would, gladly.
So she marched in the direction of the Routledge residence, more determined than ever. As she walked, people gave her pitying looks, obviously recognising her as Scooter Grubbs’ daughter (the newfound bastard of the Outer Banks, sarcasm intended.) and she simply ignored each and every one of them. She didn’t need them, she thought. She was going to find out the truth, and each step Haley took she was closer to uncovering it all. Some people walked towards her as if to stop and talk, probably attempting to give her some kind of condolence, but each time a person did she hurried her pace; she couldn’t be stopped now, she was too close to getting where she wanted to be for some middle-aged folk tell her they were sorry about her loss, even though they couldn’t have cared less about her dad when he was alive.
Fucking bullshit, she thought.
Haley’s stride slowed however, when a familiar looking van made it's way into her vision, memories of it parked outside the very same house she was planning on going running through her already overactive mind. Her stomach churned, thinking she had missed her chance to interrogate the poor unsuspecting boy, before it seemed to slow down and pulled up to right where she was standing on the curb. Her respectively plucked eyebrows raised as the window rolled down, revealing none other than John B sat in the drivers seat, Kiara Carrera in the passenger, and Pope Heyward's and JJ's heads peering around the pair from the back of the van.
John B leaned out, his mop of wavy brown hair entering Haley’s brown eyed gaze, tight smile on his lips. "Haley,” he greeted. “Hey, where are you off to? Need a ride?"
"Actually," Haley drawled as she stepped closer, right arm leaning on the window as she sent a forced smile the teenaged boys way. “I was just heading over to yours. What a coincidence, huh?"
She never missed the look Kiara shot the two guys seated in the back, all of their eyes seemingly communicating in their own weird little telepathical way. John B blinked, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water for a few seconds before he seemed to compose himself, clearing his throat. "Oh, really?" He asked, as naturally as he could. (It wasn't very natural at all.) “How, uh, how come?"
"Oh, you know," Haley started, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly. "Just thought I'd pay you a visit, y'know, like the one you paid me this morning. Remember that?" She asked as innocently as she could manage. (It wasn't very innocent at all.) “Just wanted to ask you a few questions, s'all. Like why you have the one thing those meatheads that trashed my house were after. How you got hold of it, stuff like that."
And then she smiled like they were all sharing a perfectly civil conversation, as if the underlying threatening tone in her voice didn't exist at all. John B sighed, his head turning towards the rest of the group, catching their eyes and seeming to have another one of their telepathic conversations before he turned back to her figure, his head nodding towards the back of his infamous Volkswagen.
"Get in the back," he said - and she did, shooting him a smile that resembled one of a Cheshire Cat, satisfied as she moved to the other side, walking around the van and hearing him mutter from inside, "What? This is the perfect opportunity to ask her." She didn't need to look to know the rest of the gang were probably objecting her presence, but she couldn't care less. This was just the first step to getting what she wanted.
The door to the van was pulled open from the inside, JJ's head popping out and thrusting a hand out towards her to help her climb into the vehicle. Haley swiftly ignored the gesture, missing the flash of confusion and offence that appeared on the blonde's face, climbing into the van and seating herself beside Pope who smiled rather awkwardly toward her.
"I'm, uh, sorry about your dad," he said softly, fidgeting under her gaze. She smiled slightly at him in return, lips quirking more so in amusement at his obvious discomfort at either having her join them, or her being seated so close to him.
"Yeah, me too," Kiara piped up from the passenger seat, glancing over her shoulder towards her. "It must really suck, to just lose him like that."
Haley nodded, head turning in the direction of where JJ sat across from her, rubbing the back of his head as he muttered quietly, "Yeah, I'm sorry too." before averting his eyes when she looked at him, raising her eyebrows.
Kiara ignored him, the awkward silence that presented itself to the pedestrians inside the van only lasting a couple of seconds as she spoke up again. "I can't imagine what you and your mom are going through," she said, soft brown eyes darting to John B quickly before they returned to catch Haley’s once more. "We're always here if you need anything. Pogue's look out for each other, right?"
Haley forced a small smile, not bothering to bring up the fact that Kiara was technically not a Pogue, seeing no point in the matter as she sent her a small nod of appreciation, silently grateful for her words. Haley had always liked Kiara, or Kie, as she was more commonly known as. She had spent many times sat around a fire with her, listening to her rants about the environment and what everyone could do to help it, as an infamous Pogue kegger loomed around them. Haley was grateful for her presence amongst the guys, unsure of the fact that if she wasn't there, she probably wouldn't have entered the van. She was determined, but she also wasn’t stupid. Despite knowing the guys well and practically all her life, (it’s a small town kinda thing), she would never willingly get in a van with them and let them drive her to an unknown destination. Which reminded her suddenly - where the hell were they going?
"We're lucky we got each other, I guess," Haley said in relation to Kie's words. Kie nodded as her eyes darted to John B again. "But thanks, I really appreciate it." She fiddled with the hem of her faded out jean shorts, her next words directed towards John B. "So, care to tell me where we're going? Or better yet, why you have the damned compass my house was trashed for."
Silence filled the air of the Volkswagen. It was suffocating, the air thick with unspoken tension as everybody refused to meet her eyes. Haley was beyond frustrated, incredibly so, and she made a point to catch John B's eyes in the rearview mirror, an eyebrow quirking as she awaited an answer.
Finally, he sighed.
"The compass was my dads," John B revealed. Haley’s mouth opened in shock for a second before she clamped it back shut. "And for whatever reason, your dad had it. We uh, we found it at the wreck of your dads boat yesterday."
"Wait, what?" She demanded, blinking. She glanced between the gang, eyes accusing as she held each of theirs. "You guys found the wreck? And you didn't tell anyone?" She questioned, tone dangerously low. "And you stole from it?"
"It's not technically stealing if it was his compass," JJ defended, shrugging. Haley shot him a glare, feeling a bubble of irritation build deep in her gut. "And anyways, we tried to tell the coastguard about it after we first found it, but the guy was having none of it. They were hounded with the storm."
Her eyes narrowed. "First found it? Exactly how many times have you guys been at the wreck?" She demanded, tone accusatory.
The gang all swivelled to send JJ their own respected glares, Pope's voice small from beside her as he tried to explain. "Only a couple," he started, startling as her head whipped around towards him. "We're really sorry, okay! We didn't know it was your dads when we first found it, if we did, we wouldn't have snooped in his room either!"
Pope seemed to make note of his mistake as the rest of the gang did, Kie letting out a little frustrated groan from the back of her throat as JJ cringed, pointedly avoiding Haley’s gaze. John B's hands gripped the steering wheel tight, a warning "Pope" leaving his mouth.
Haley laughed, though it held no humour. She clasped her hands together, the slap of her palms meeting echoing in the confine space. "Let me get this straight, you guys not only found the wreck of my dads boat and didn't tell anyone about it, but also obviously found where he was staying and snooped in his room," she listed, feeling the familiar build of rage pulse through her body. “I mean, what the fuck you guys?"
"We're sorry," Kiara turned in her seat, meeting the Grubbs’ girl angered gaze. "We swear, if we had any idea it was your dad we wouldn't have. We were just, curious, I guess. We found the key on the boat when Pope first spotted it in the marsh, and before we even snooped we tried to tell the coastguard, but like JJ said, they weren't interested. So, John B and JJ went to look in the room."
Haley sighed heavily, leaning her head back to rest against the wall of the van. She tried to tell herself to calm down - hell, she probably would have done the same thing if it was her in their position, she couldn't get mad at them over that. "And did you guys find anything?" She asked quietly, the gang seemingly relaxing as they recognised her calmer tone of voice.
"Did we find anything?" JJ snorted as he repeated her words, grin falling from his lips at the glares the rest of his friends shot him. Haley sat up straighter, taking note of their warning glances. JJ awkwardly coughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he once again avoided her honey coated eyes. "Uh, not really."
"Not really?" She asked, frown on her plump lips. JJ nodded, tongue darting out to wet his pink lips, uncharacteristically quiet once more. "Okay, what the hell is going on? And no more bullshitting me, I've had enough of that from everyone else for the past forty eight hours. I came to you for answers, I'm not going anywhere without them."
She looked to John B then, hoping, pleading, that he would understand. He'd lost his dad too, nine months ago, supposedly lost at sea, believed to be dead. Haley knew he never believed that though, refusing to agree that his father was dead, insisting that he was simply missing. If there was one person that could understand her need to know about her dad, it was John B. And he knew it too, as he sighed and nodded.
"There was a safe," he started as she listened intently. "There was money inside it, I don't know how much. The cops kinda showed up when we were in there," he admitted sheepishly. "We had to hide before we could count it or anything. But there was also, um, a gun in the safe too."
"A gun?" Haley deadpanned. John B raised his eyes and caught hers, nodding. Haley scoffed in disbelief, running a hand through her almost waist length hair. "Why the hell would my dad have a gun?"
"Um, there's something else you should probably know," JJ blurted. "I kinda, uh, took it."
The Pogues glared at him again, Kie spitting a warning of his name, but the blonde just looked at the girl seated in front of him. Her eyes widened as he brandished the piece of metal, black in colour and daunting in shape. Of fucking course JJ Maybank had stolen her dads gun, she thought. It was so... JJ.
"You stole that from a crime scene?" She sputtered, heart squeezing uncomfortably in her chest as she eyed the object with disdain. JJ nodded, looking almost guilty. "My dads crime scene? What the fuck JJ? Do you realise how much trouble you could get into from taking that? For having that?"
Haley was unsure as to why she seemed to care so much about that, rather than the fact that he'd taken it from her dads motel room, and that the gun was technically her fathers. She didn't want to ponder too much about that, though, there was bigger fish to fry in that moment.
"Sorry," he said, rather dumbly. "You can have it, if you want?"
She stared at him incredulously as he held the gun out towards her, quickly shoving it away from her body as she shook her head forcefully. "What the fuck would I want with a gun, JJ?" Haley demanded. The blonde boy shrugged, suddenly sheepish.
"It was your dads," he stated simply. From the corner of her vision she could see Pope sending him a wild look, brown eyes blown wide as he tried to be subtle and shake his head at his friend, silently warning him to shut the hell up, or so she presumed. "I just thought, y'know-"
"You thought wrong, JJ," Haley interrupted him before he could continue. His eyebrows furrowed as he noted her hostile tone, but let it go as he simply nodded, swallowing thickly when she turned away from him. “So, what happened, after the motel room?"
John B looked glad to be back on the original topic. "Well, it wasn't long after that we found it was your dad. We were gonna tell the police, but uh, we had this crazy idea that there might have been more on the boat, like money or something? I don't know, we just thought-"
"Your dad might've been a straight smuggler," Pope piped up. Haley’s glare made him shrink in his spot. "Sorry, sorry. Not the time, I get it."
"Right," John B said curtly as Kie groaned softly. "So we went to look again, and I found a duffel bag. The marsh was closed, obviously. But we weren't the only ones out there," his voice turned deadly serious. “After I got it, these two guys appeared on a boat. The same two guys that were at your place earlier."
Haley exhaled shakily at the information, memories of the two men entering her mind unwelcoming. The image of them carelessly tearing apart her house, screaming threats at her and her mother, gun held to her temple as their fists left holes in the walls and bruises on her mothers skin. She shuddered and hoped the rest of the gang hadn't noticed, but she could see the pity in John B's eyes as they reconnected with her own.
"They chased after us, and they were shooting at us too. We managed to escape them, and when we got back on land I looked in the bag, and all that was in it was the compass. My dads compass. It's a Routledge family heirloom, and your dad had it."
His tone held accusatory, though she couldn't blame him for it. It was a mystery to even her as to why or how her father had gotten hold of the compass, and she knew John B wanted answers just as much as she did. Haley felt almost guilty that she couldn't give him any as she spoke up, “I didn't know anything about it, I swear. The first time I've even heard of it was today when those guys showed up. I'm sorry, John B."
Said boy nodded, seemingly believing her as he sent a small smile her way, reassuring her. “Anyways, that's why me and JJ went to your place, I just wanted to know if maybe you or your mom knew anything about it or why your dad had it," he shrugged a shoulder, trying to come off as non-chalant. "And that's when we saw those guys again. I'm sorry about that, by the way."
She shrugged too, an expression of what-you-gonna-do on her face. Though she desperately wanted to know more about the compass, and why it could be so important to the thugs, she withheld her questions for the moment, deciding they could come later.
"And then they arrived at mine," John B revealed. Haley’s yes widened in surprise at the sudden revelation, churning of fear twisting at her gut. "They did the exact same at my place that they did to yours; tore the whole place apart, looking the compass I guess."
JJ burst then - Haley jumped as his voice echoed in the van, much more louder than what John B's had been, excitement lacing his tone as he began to recite the story of the two thugs and their mission of tearing John B's poor beloved Chateau apart, hands gesturing wildly around him.
"Yeah, they were fucking crazy man! We were all locked in Big John's office, no way out apart from the window that was fucking painted shut. We could hear them, taunting us, y'know. Like, 'you better not be in there', they even knew John B's name!" JJ rambled, excitable expression painted on his boyish features. "They come in, guns-a-blazing and we're all tryna figure out how the hell to get out of there, before we finally manage to open the window and hide in the fucking chicken coop of all places. It was fucking insane, man. I had to kill a hen just so we could make it out alive."
Haley blinked at that, her jaw dropping slightly as she tried to process all the information he'd thrown at her all within a minute. JJ calmed down from his passionate retale, chest heaving slightly as he took in her dazed expression, sea blue eyes catching hers and holding them. Kiara said his name in a warning tone from the passenger seat, and he snapped out of his stare-off with the olive skinned girl, but she was still looking at him in disbelief.
"That's basically it," John B said from the front of the van, though his face held a slight grimace at his best friends rather dramatic recite. "But yeah, they practically stripped my dads office bare. They took everything, all of his books, research, everything about the Royal Merchant."
If anybody had noticed her sudden stiff posture at the mention of the Merchant, they never spoke on it. The Royal Merchant. Something Haley was all too familiar with. It had been something of a fascination to her father for a while, especially in the weeks leading up to his death. She just thought it was a weird hobby, a strange interest of his that she never really thought much of. It was nice to see her dad passionate about something, she’d thought. No matter how strange she believed it to be, he had a hobby and she was happy for him. But, sitting in the back of John B. Routledge's van, surrounded by a group of teenaged Pogues, one of which she was were all too familiar with, to put it simply, her throat tightened.
Surely the Royal Merchant couldn't have had anything to do with her dad, right? She was just thinking too much, more than likely. But something in the back of her mind was nagging, unforgiving as the thoughts whirled in her head.
"But before the guys showed up, we found something," she focused back her attention as John B continued. "There's something engraved on the compass. Redfield. It's my dads handwriting, he must have put it there for me, before he disappeared."
Haley shared a glance with JJ as John B said the word. Disappeared. Ever the hopeful, yearning boy. She couldn't doubt his wish, she wished for nothing more for her dad to appear back in her life - but she knew that hers was dead, officially. How could she forget, she saw his lifeless eyes every time she closed hers.
But John B didn't have that, he never knew, really, if his father was truly dead or alive. The records said so, but he'd refused to sign them, or so she heard. He was still hopeful, so certain that his dad would just appear back at the Chateau one day, like he'd never disappeared in the first place. But Haley - and many others - were realistic, and the reality was there was very little to no chance that Big John Routledge was alive.
(Her heart broke for the boy.)
She tuned out the rest of the conversation for the remainder of the drive, her head leaning back on the cool metal of the wall as she closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander with all the possibilities. Could the Royal Merchant really have been a factor in her dads death? She couldn't shake the feeling, as she could hear vaguely the conversation of the gang. John B insisting that his dad was leading him on a mission, Kiara trying to be supportive but anyone could pick up on the doubt in her voice, Pope piping up with rather unhelpful scenarios like Big John having been kidnapped, (Haley had rolled her eyes), and JJ adding his input, multitasking with rolling a blunt. (She’d rolled her eyes harder.)
The thing was, Haley and the Maybank boy had a little deal going on. She could remember the exact day it had begun, at an infamous Pogue kegger, the sun having set and leaving the sky coloured in perfect hues of pink, purple and yellow. It had been a beautiful night, she had to admit. The party had gone strong to the early hours of the morning, and she’d somehow found herself leaving with JJ Maybank. He'd approached her after she witnessed him striking out with a Touron, (surprisingly), eyes narrowing at her when she’d let out a giggle at his misfortune. He had been hostile at first, demanding what she was laughing at, grinning slightly when she informed him simply 'you'.
The rest of the night had been spent in each others company, and Haley could recall the exact moment where they were dancing closely, bodies pressed tight against each other, her arms thrown over his shoulders and wrapped around his neck, his own around her waist, fingers digging into her hips. Their breath mingled together, his forehead leaning against her own, and she’d expected the moment his lips fell on herd, slightly chapped but impossibly soft against her own as they danced in a passionate embrace that secretly took her breath away. She’d let him lead her to John B's Chateau across the beach, hand gripped in one another’s, as he pressed her to every surface until they managed to stumble their way into the spare bedroom.
She had told herself the next morning that it would only be a one time thing. Haley wasn’t one for random hook-ups, not that no one had tried to coax her into one. She was kinda known amongst the island as being this untouchable, obtainable person that nobody could ever get close to. She wasn’t sure what it was about her that made everyone label her as this being - maybe it was the fact that she was a loner and didn’t stick to one friendship group and spent most of her time to herself, maybe it was the fact that people thought she was weird because her dad was known to be such a loser (God rest his soul), or maybe it was the fact that she skateboarded around town morning till dawn, earphones plugged in and music blasting so loud that passerby’s could hear every word clearly.
The point was, she wasn’t known for getting close to anyone. And yet, she had found herself drifting back to JJ Maybank many other nights after that first one, and that’s where their little deal came into play.
But that's where it began, and also where it ended. Hers and JJ's relationship (if you could even call it that) never went beyond that. Random hook-ups here and there, whenever JJ struck out with a Touron and found himself soughting Haley out amongst the crowd to fill the space in his bed. Of course they were always friendly with each other, they’d known each other for so long, that it would have been silly not to continue being friendly. But they never hung out, not with his group, not with him alone apart from their many nights of endeavours, until now, she supposed. She thought it might have been weird, and she thought correct. Neither of them really looked at each other head-on, the air awkward and thick as the driving continued.
Haley was thankful when John B seemed to finally arrive at his destination, and she leaned forward with Pope to glance out the window, spotting the tall lighthouse stood proud in front of the group. Redfield, the name was written boldly on display.
"Redfield Lighthouse," John B spoke. "My dads favourite place."
She clambered from the van as the rest of the guys did, gazing up at the high building with her hand shielding her eyes from the bright sun from where they all gathered at the clearing. John B turned to face JJ. "Right, you're gonna post up and look out for bogeys, okay?"
JJ's eyebrows furrowed as he demanded, "Wait, why me?" His expression only darkened when Pope informed he wasn't to go in the Lighthouse, Haley watching from the sidelines, unsure where to put herseld in the situation. "Why?" He continued to argue.
Pope grabbed hold of JJ's shoulders. "There are independent and dependent variables, you're an independent variable-" he tried to explain but was quickly cut off as JJ began to yell over his words. "We don't know what you'll do!"
"Shut up!"
Haley awkwardly scuffed her boots on the ground as Kiara sent her a small smile from ahead of the boys, rolling her eyes dramatically when Haley caught them. She smiled at the gesture, once again appreciative of her presence. "Listen to me for a second," John B cut in their argument, stepping forward. "Pope, you stand look out with JJ, okay?" The pair in questioned seemed reluctant, but both nodded at John B's persistent glare. The tall brunette turned to her next, gaze softening immensely when he caught sight of her uncertain posture. "Do you mind keeping an eye out here?"
She shook your head immediately, sending him a reassuring nod. "Yeah, sure. That's fine by me. Heights aren't really my thing anyway," she told him as she looked up at the Lighthouse, nausea hitting at a slight force when she stared at the very top of the building amongst the blue sky. "Yeah, I'm good here."
He nodded back at her, a thankful smile on his lips. "If we split up, we meet back at JJ's house." He spoke, directing the words to the whole group. They all nodded their agreement.
"Great." Kie finalised, shooting Haley one last small smile before her and John B began to walk off, jumping the small fence that blocked their path, their stride quickly entering them into the lighthouse. Haley exhaled as they disappeared into the door, and moved her gaze to return on the two boys she was stuck with.
"I'm gonna work on my merit scholarship essay." Pope informed, before he turned and entered back into the van, leaving her and JJ stood on the outside of it, alone and deadly quiet. She looked at the golden haired boy as he pulled out a happy sack from his pocket, beginning to kick it around with his booted foot.
Haley sighed as she leaned on the passenger side door, her teeth biting down on her watermelon flavoured chapstick covered lip as she stared at the grass beneath her feet, her mind racing. A thud caught her attention and she glanced in the direction of where it had come from, a happy sack laying at her feet. She looked back up to JJ, who sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, sorry about that."
She huffed out a small laugh, bending down and snatching the sack from the floor. "You don't have to apologise to me JJ," she said softly. Throwing the sack back to him, his large hands reached out and cupped it, bringing it back to his chest. “I'm sorry about this, y'know, gatecrashing your friends' little adventure."
JJ's lips quirked, his muscular arm reaching back and throwing the sack into the air, Haley catching it and holding his eyes. "You're not gatecrashing anything," he assured. In the sunlight, his skin cast a golden glow. "And 'sides you deserve to be here. You're looking for just as much answers as John B is."
"I'm not sure about that," Haley told him and threw the sack to him. "I mean, I'm looking for answers, of course. That's why I'm here. But I'm pretty sure John B needs them more than I do," she glanced at the lighthouse momentarily. "I know what happened to my dad, pretty much. He died while being out in the storm, I know that, I just don't know why he was out in the storm or what he was even up to in the weeks leading up to it. John B doesn't even know for sure if his dad is dead or alive." She shuddered at the thought, shaking her head. "He deserves answers way more than me."
JJ nodded, tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek as he paused in throwing the sack back towards her, looking at her small figure thoughtfully. "Do you think they could be connected?" He asked suddenly. Haley stared at him, confusion painted on her face. "Your dads, I mean. Yours and John B's. Do you think they could be connected, like your dads death and JB's dads disappearance?"
She stopped. Could they be, really? She had to admit she thought about it in the van on the journey there, but as quickly as it came it passed. To her knowledge, her dad and Big John didn't really know each other - of course they knew each other, but they didn't mix, or so she believed. But her mind replayed the moment John B mentioned the Royal Merchant, the way her stomach had filled with dread immediately, and she had the sinking feeling that it was very possible that what JJ was hinting at could be true.
"I don't know, maybe," she said instead, not wanting to voice her thoughts. JJ nodded thoughtfully, finally throwing her the sack back. She caught it, and repeated the process back to him again.
"I am sorry, though. About your dad," JJ's voice was soft, careful as he watched her pause, taking in his words. "I was gonna say more before, but with the guys... I know how much he meant to you."
Haley smiled gently, a sudden flutter in her chest alarming her as she nodded appreciatively at his words. "Thank you, JJ," she said quietly, sincerely. "It means a lot."
JJ nodded too, chapped lips pulling into an uncertain half-grin. "And I just wanted to say as well, that uh, I don't want things to be like, weird between us or anything," he stated awkwardly, clearing his throat. Haley almost laughed at the look on his face. "I mean, like, with us hooking up and stuff-"
"It won't be weird," Haley quickly interrupted him, grin overtaking the features of her face despite her better thoughts. "It was just hooking up, right? Not like we're exes or anything. No need to make it weird."
"Right," JJ voiced his agreement. Head full of long blonde locks nodding along at her words, dimples winking at her as they made an appearance in his cheeks when he smiled. "Not making it weird. Here's to that."
She laughed as the happy sack landed in her hands, holding it there as she squinted in the sun, grin cheeky as she gazed at him from her small distance. "Yeah, we'll just have to pretend we've never seen each other naked." She joked as she finally threw him his toy back.
The golden haired boy returned her smile, eyes mischievous as they made a show to glance at her figure from head to toe. "Trust me, I'll have to pretend a lot more beyond that to stay civil."
And before she could even think to voice her thoughts of Fuck, how did that almost kinda turn you on, a sudden and loud blare of a familiar siren startled, Haley’s and JJ's eyes widening as they met, a panicked expression matching in their features.
"Shit!" Haley uttered as JJ dropped the happy sack, her head turning to catch sight of the impending police car making its way towards where they were parked. She quickly glanced to the lighthouse, her heart dropping when she saw no sign of John B or Kiara, JJ grabbing her by the arm suddenly and practically dragging her into the van in the passenger seat, him running to occupy the drivers as Pope's head popped up between the seats, questioning them both erratically. She could give him no answers however, having no idea what had prompted the police to arrive. Haley had no time to think about what could have happened as JJ slammed his foot down, peeling out of the grassy area and away from the scene. "What about John B and Kie?"
"They'll be fine," JJ assured her, though they were empty words. He had no clue what had happened either, or if his friends would make it out and away from the lighthouse in time, but he still reached over and squeezed Haley’s knee gently when he saw her worried look. He caught her gaze and held it. "They'll be fine."
She could only hope that was true.
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It was hours later when Haley and the Pogues gathered around John B's kitchen table, deadly silent as everyone processed what had just transpired.
She’d had JJ and Pope drop her off at home after escaping the police at the lighthouse, aware that she had been gone a long while and her mother was probably sick with worry by that point. If she wasn’t home within the hour, Haley had no doubt that she would have the police patrolling the streets, searching for her. When she toldthe boys this, they chuckled as she ordered them to park around the corner from her home, not wanting her mother to spot her leaving the van. She’d told them to call her when they heard from either John or Kiara, and they'd both agreed as she climbed from the van and walked the familiar path to her house.
Sure enough, Lana practically collapsed into her when she’d entered. Her arms were wrapped around Haley so tightly as they squeezed all the air out of her lungs, her mothers voice in her ear a jumbled mess of words laced in a frantic tone. Haley assured her she was fine, that no harm was done, and that she had just gone for a walk around the Outer Banks. Lana seemed hesitant, but had allowed Haley to ease her worries as she led her towards the couch and sat her down, letting her mom hold her for as long as she needed to assure her mind that she were really okay.
Haley felt almost bad, seeing her in such a panicked state. But then she remembered if she had just answered her questions truthfully instead of hiding everything from her than she wouldn't be sneaking around in the first place. And then the guilt subsided, if only a little. (Haley still felt awful.)
It was a couple of hours after that when a knock had sounded on her bedroom window. She had startled, her heart racing as she wondered who the hell could be knocking on her window, at night, too. She almost very nearly didn't go towards it, in fear of the two faces of the men from earlier that day greeting her, but she’d exhaled a sigh of relief when her eyes landed on the face of JJ Maybank.
"Care for a late night drive?" He'd asked, and she’d rolled her eyes. His grin never faltered as he watched her put on her boots, checking in on her mother and determining if the coast was clear to sneak out, before she’d climbed from her window, thankful that the house was only one story as she did so. Despite that fact, JJ's hands still gripped her hips as he helped her (though he didn't have to) down from the window.
She’d felt instant relief when she spotted Kiara and John B sat in the van, having resumed their earlier positions. Kie grinned at her as she got in the back along with JJ and Pope, who smiled at her also, as Haley began to question the both of them on what had happened after they’d fled the scene.
They'd been caught, of course. But they'd also been released, and that was the main thing. Haley decided to focus on the positives as John B drove them all off, this time to a cemetery of all places - leading the way towards a specific grave that he informed them all was his great-great grandmother, Olivia Redfield. Her maiden name, apparently.
And of fucking course inside that crypt was a white FedEx envelope, addressed to Bird, which they would later discover was actually John B's nickname given to him by his dad, who'd actually left the envelope there - hoping one day that his son would find it. (Because of fucking course Big John would do that.)
The pieces to the puzzle were all coming together, bit by it, slowly but surely. They’d all returned to the Chateau upon the discovery of the envelope, which contained a map, the sight very familiar. (The Royal Merchant, of fucking course it was.) And there was a very obvious X displayed on it too, X marks the spot. Along with that, a tape recorder fell into the palm of John B's hand.
"Dear Bird," the voice had started, vaguely familiar to Haley’s ears. There was no question as to who the voice belonged to - Big John Routledge was speaking directly into the room, all five teenagers gathered around listening intently. "I didn't expect to find the Merchant either."
Haley’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, her breath catching in her throat as she glanced at JJ who was beside her, his own face a perfect replica of confusion and amazement.
"There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If something happens to me, finish what I started." Big John's voice continued to fill the deafening silence of the room. "Go for the gold, kid. I love you, Bird, even if I didn't always act like it. I'll see you on the other side."
The recorder clicked off after that, once again silence engulfing the room. Haley felt her stomach churn, her heartbeat to quicken, her palms beginning to sweat. She couldn't believe it. Big John Routledge had gone and found the Royal Merchant. The Royal Merchant, of which her own father had spent months obsessing over. The Royal Merchant, as in the ship that had sunk over two hundred years ago. The Royal Merchant, in which had bought her and this ragtag group of misfits together.
They all littered around the pontoon close to John B's house, beers in hand as Kie strummed softly on her ukulele, the night air a welcome comfort to Haley’s clammy skin, her heart having still not calmed from when she’d first come to the realisation that Big John had found the Royal Merchant, and now she was joining the Pogues on finishing what he had started - for her own father, she thought as she looked towards the stars in the summer nights sky, smiling softly up at them. For you, dad.
"How much was it again?" JJ broke the silence, the golden haired boy seated closest to her.
"Four hundred mil," John B reminded, though he said it dreamily, almost as if he still couldn't quite believe it. She couldn't, either, in all honesty. Five teenagers, about to charge head-first into a treasure hunt? They had to be crazy. But for four hundred million, anyone would be.
JJ's head turned at rapid speed, before he let out a sigh and clasped his hands together, looking between them all. "Alright, let's talk the split. Now, before we say 'evenly' may I remind you that I am the only one that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us," he branded the gun, waving it around as he spoke. "Protection? Not cheap, okay?"
"Technically, that should be my gun," Haley pointed out, shrugging a shoulder and smiling cheekily when he turned to glance over at her, frown etched on his lips. "You said so yourself, remember?"
"You said you didn't want it!" He protested instantly.
She licked her lips as she teased him, "Well, maybe I changed my mind."
JJ shook his head, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at her in disbelief, though his smile was enough to let her know he found humour in her actions. "You don't just get backsies on a gun," he deadpanned.
Haley rolled your honey coated eyes as Pope quickly interrupted the two of them. “You haven't trained," he directed towards JJ. "You've done zero training."
"YouTube, bro!" JJ countered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "This," he pointed to the gun. "Is at least a five percent bump right there."
The group collectively ignored him, though Haley sent him a smirk when he looked at her, an expression of am-I-right or am-I-right on his pretty face. Kie tilted her head towards Pope. "What are you gonna do with your eighty mil, Pope?" She questioned.
"Pay for college in advance," the boy answered immediately. "And also, textbooks. Those are expensive."
Haley couldn't help but smile at him, Pope, ever the thoughtful one. She knew if she had half the brains Pope had she’d probably be the exact same as him - planning ahead, working towards college more than anything. She admired the boy, truly. But her future wasn't nearly as bright as Pope's, she was aware of that. Which made the desire to find that treasure from the Royal Merchant all that more huge.
"What about you, Haley?” She was broken from her thoughts as Kie suddenly directed her words to the other girl, raising an expectant brow as she came to, noting the rest of the gang all looking at her with similar expressions.
What would she do with her money? Honestly, she had no idea. She felt incredibly lucky to even be considered to get a share of it, given that she had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, demanding answers about her dead dad and the damned compass that had started it all in the first place. She’d questioned the guys immediately after the discovery of Big John's reveal, telling them that she was totally okay with not getting a share, had even told them she’d back off and leave them to it, though so many more questions needed answering in her mind. But they'd all immediately disagreed, letting her know that she were apart of this just as much as they all were. This was her journey, too.
"Move me and my mom out of our shitty house," Haley decided. "Get a huge ass house on Figure Eight, buy anything that we wanted. Treat her to everything she could have ever dreamed of. Maybe buy a holiday home in Italy, visit there every year and have a holiday romance with an insanely hot Italian guy."
Her and Kiara shared a giggle at that, missing the way the blonde beside her shifted almost uncomfortably, eyes downcast towards the water for a second before he licked his lips, proclaiming loudly, "I know what I'll do. I'm gonna get a big ass house on Figure Eight, and go full Kook," JJ announced, eyes meeting hers and sending her a wink. "We can be neighbours."
Haley laughed outright, shaking her head at his dramatics as he continued. "Gonna get a marble statue of myself, and then I'm gonna get a koi pond, put a bunch of those fish-"
"I'm never visiting." Kie mumbled, interrupting his sentence as they all shared a laugh, gazes suddenly turning to John B who hadn't spoken in a while, the tanned brunette simply staring off into space, almost seemingly lost in his world.
"What about you, John B?" He looked back towards the four of them sprawled out on the pontoon, his eyes catching Haley’s own for a millisecond, the pair of them understanding exactly what was going through both their minds in that moment.
"To going full Kook," he raised the hand that held his beer, the group of Pogues wasting no time in following the action, all their hands raising, beer cans glinting under the moonlight as they all exclaimed, "To going full Kook!" into the summer nights air, the excitement and anticipation present in all of their voices.
And she grinned as she clinked her beer with JJ's, the blonde throwing a careless arm over her shoulder as he tugged her closer to him; Haley’s own naturally wound around his waist in return as they all laughed and joked into the night, the promise of an adventure and bright future's ahead of them all.
She failed to notice that their arms never really left each other until later that night, when her departure from the gang forced her to unwind her limbs from his, their gazes catching, secret smiles on both their faces.
Oh, this would be fun.
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laryna6 · 3 years
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One of those ‘A Christmas Carol’-based fics with Saotome Eiji.
Kyousuke’s dad appearing warning of the demons of the Sanzu river and the measuring of karma that awaits the dead, and Saotome going ‘I must have fallen asleep/that’s a foreign Buddhist thing’ because of the... heavy pushing of a... propagandized version of Shinto as part of Japanese nationalism building up to WWII.
Instead of Christmas it’s Obon (a festival of Buddist/Confucian origin) ofc.
To fit with ‘the idea that people have to earn the right to live is effed up’ from the original, perhaps as a child he was sent to an orphanage bc his family couldn’t feed him? The additional damage of not knowing who your ancestors were in a culture practicing ancestor worship.
Other students of psychic research inviting him to hang out at the university but he wanted to get an officer position in the army, so needing to avoid undesirable elements.
Saotome’s present day obon, Kyousuke who was raised in China being taught about Shinto because as a half-Chinese person on top of an esper in an era of nationalism... they worry about the kid and he might be safer if he do all the ‘I am a loyal subject of the emperor’ signaling. Two of the espers in the unit canonically come from traditional priesthood families and have OPINIONS about what these motherfucking nationalists are doing to corrupt and twist everyone’s spirituality and traditions and their sense of connection to their families and their people and the land. Making shinto priests government officials?!
Saotome going they’re not proper LoyalTM to the army and Japan
Spirit #2 going ‘was the army ever loyal to them?’
Fujiko and her father discussing how their family is nobility and the need for the nobiiity to give up power and instead bring about democracy if Japan was going to escape being conquered and exploited by imperialists like the countries around them.
Fujiko going ‘but the warrior classes all got positions in the military, and now we’re a military dictatorship and Japan has just become one more imperialist power, it’s disgusting and her father going absolutely, and discussion of duty to their ancestors and their country foreshadowing Fujiko making a choice that according to traditional morality and the noble code of conduct was ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLY HORRIBLY WRONG to the point of disgracing her entire family line because what kind of people could have produced a traitor like that... but because of it in the modern day Japan is the second least awful country in how it treats espers.
Then spirit #3, and Saotome going ‘I’ve seen the precogs, espers going to war with normals, Kyousuke betraying the country/me to serve a queen’
And then it’s the younger queen and two other girls going ‘Minamoto we want to go to a festival with you’ while a harried man basically shoos them out the door with a broom and goes ‘go! Your families want to see you! Here are your boxed lunches and snacks for the trip’ and the girls are espers who use their powers to get to their normal families. the queen and her big sister get in a wrestling match over the cookies and only belatedly realize their mom’s eaten them all while commentating while they dress for the festival. another girl and her normal father engage in some police brutality towards festival pickpockets as bonding. the third girl, at least, is traditional and proper even if she’s performing a ceremony that comes from non-Japanese origins (and yet... it’s still a tradition that ties them to their ancestors and the gods and who they are, and Shinto says that tradition is sacred, it doesn’t say that traditions that first came from outside aren’t sacred)
The man is following his mother around as she chatters with everyone and gets up to shenanigans at the festival. ‘Father couldn’t make it again’ mentioning a grandmother who used to stay with him at these. Looking up at the sparks rise above the fire to send the dead home, lonely even though he’s surrounded by people in his hometown... and then he gets tackled by the three girls demanding he take photos with them while they’re all in kimonos
And then it switches to someone announcing That Bastard is finally dead. Far from the land he was born, with no one in the country he served who cares to claim his body ‘so we should send someone to pretend to be a relative’ and someone declaring that this is now a formal meeting because while obviously they all want to desecrate his grave, they are going to do it in an organized fashion that reflects the gravity of his crimes and pays respects to his innocent victims and continuing victims of that bastard’s legacy of murder and hatred. Eggs and toilet paper are not up for discussion is said with a pointed look at another man, who whines ‘big bro!’
This is the most diverse group of people Saotome has ever seen, people from all over the world united in their hatred of someone who gets referred to with several different languages’ curse words.
And then someone walks in and goes ‘here you are, okay, what are you up to? I’ve been raising kids for half a century, I know that when you’re all quiet and busy somewhere you’re up to no good’ and it’s Kyousuke. The guy who went ‘big bro’ gets his ear twisted, and whines ‘dad!’
It’s revealed that ‘that bastard’ is someone who hurt Kyousuke, who they’re protective of like the unit is (he still looks so young...) but when he gets it out of them he’s no! and there is a whine of ‘dad! He shot you!’ ‘I know’ *bullet scar revealed* ‘I’m the one he shot, so I get to decide what to do with him’
Kyousuke lifting away a sheet to reveal a body old and twisted and crippled. And Saotome’s. Kyousuke is blank an solemn... and sad.
Going through the Shinsosai funeral rites, all foreign Buddhist influences removed as he would have wanted, and maybe there’s a reason the people of Japan for centuries were happy to have Buddhists to help them usher their families into the next world, because he can see the weight of the kegare on him, how Kyousuke mourns him, is the only one who mourns him. Eventually a woman who treats Kyousuke as both an embarrassing younger brother and as a respected father comes to help, to cheer him up, even though she despises Saotome too, for hurting him.
A picture of the unit, in Kyousuke’s family shrine. ‘Now everyone in this photograph but Fujiko is dead... He took my family from me, but he, too, was family.’
Then he grabbed the woman, teleported, and dragged her down with him into the ocean for purification.
...then Kyousuke goes to bully the man from before, who is arguing with the three girls about how yes, they are sleepy, Kaoru nearly flew them into the ground getting home, while making them all tea before he shoves them into their bedroom. When he turns around Kyousuke has stolen the cup that was supposed to be for him, and the man at first automatically raises his hackles, but then looks sympathetic.
Kyousuke looks away, annoyed and pouting, at sympathy from this person.
‘...If I try to comfort you you’re going to shove my head in the toilet again,’ the man says, getting himself another cup of tea.
‘Absolutely’ Kyousuke agrees.
Silence, and eventually Kyousuke says, ‘at first I thought you were his reincarnation, even though he would have been offended at the idea of him reincarnating. Then I found he was with the Comericans, had been since the war, and I thought, it would have been better if he was you. Not for the Queen. But for him. If I hadn’t failed to avenge my comrades back then, he could have moved on to a better life or the otherworld. Not been forced to live on a failure and a pawn in a foreign land, unable to return home. He was a proud man.’ Looking down at his tea, ‘when I met him again, he asked me to kill him.’
‘..in the precog, I know there’s a nuke on the way when I shoot Kaoru,’ the man says, and now Saotome knows where he’s seen him. ‘even though I want to kill her so she can’t leave again and I want it enough to kill her before she stops that nuke from destroying Tokyo, I still know that I have to die for this. I’m just getting the order wrong. I should die before I do that. Having to live with what I do in that precog would be a fate worse than death.’
‘That was why I erased his memories that day. He... there was no point in him continuing to suffer. None of us would have wanted that for him. I thought... didn’t he know our feelings? That we were loyal to him, that we didn’t mind dying for him? And then I saw that he truly didn’t recognize our feelings. Because he didn’t know what it looked like, to recognize when people truly cared for him. But he cared for us, and so when he thought that espers would turn against normals, that it was impossible for us to ever care for him... Those damn precogs. They broke his heart before he put a bullet through mine.’
‘Maybe... next obon?’
a shake of the head. ‘he thought it was too foreign. It’s fine, our comrades will beat sense into him in the afterlife.’ Kyousuke drank the rest of his tea.
‘..Some of the parts of the traditional ceremony... PANDRA loves you, but I think that would have made it hard to force them to cooperate,’ the man said. “I don’t want to hear words honoring him either, but you like to do things I don’t want.’
‘What, are you going to give me condolences for his loss?”
‘I can honestly say that I am very sorry he’s dead, because it means I will never get to strangle him,’ the man vigorously throttled the air, going from kind and patient to a man more than capable of shooting a young woman in love with him, and back, ‘from turning you from such a sweet, good little kid into the godawful brat I have had to deal with.’
Kyousuke snorted.
“Do you want another cup of tea, or a cup of milk?”
“Milk.” Kyousuke said, and when the man was on his way to open a white door, he began, “Utsumi-san said that he graduated first in his class, but he had no family and no background. The esper unit was his proposal, so when he told us that we could serve our country and be accepted, he wagered his own future on the chance that ours could be happy. Utsumi said later that he never trusted Saotome-Taicho, because he knew he didn’t truly care for us. I asked once why he didn’t warn us, if he knew that, but... Utsumi knew his heart, so he knew that Saotome-taicho also was different, was desperately wishing to prove he was valuable enough to accept. He knew what bait to dangle before us because it was the exact same lure that led him to the army. We all wanted him to have that happy future, along with us.’
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meangirlsx · 4 years
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I hope this isn’t too personal but as a bi/ace person, how did you realize you were bi? As an ace folk I feel like my perception of attraction is all f-ed up and I can’t figure out if I just think girls are pretty or if I’m actually into girls? It doesn’t really matter cause I’ll only ever really be able to date guys bc of my family but I want to know for me
No, not too personal at all! I’m actually really glad you asked because it’s something I struggled with a lot and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one. I just apologize in advance for the essay I’m writing to give you as much context and information as possible for how I figured it out. (Also I basically wrote an essay on the guys I’ve thought I loved, so it’s only right for me to write an essay like this.)
I’m totally with you, I feel like my perception of attraction is about as reliable as a broken clock: maybe right occasionally but otherwise not much help.
I never questioned whether or not I was interested in guys. It was expected and assumed. I never really understood things people would talk about or show in media, like people just not being able to control themselves or people getting excited over events like Broadway Bares, but I never doubted my interest in guys.
In that same vein, despite going to an alternative high school where we talked a lot about LGBTQIA+ topics and I had a lot of friends who were out, it never occurred to me that I could be interested in anyone other than guys. I can look back now at a lot of situations growing up and see the times I mistook interest in a girl for admiration or just thinking she was insanely cool.
The first time I ever questioned being straight, I think I was 14 and I was doing a Romeo and Juliet balcony scene project with a friend who actually was going to come out as a trans man the next year. (The only reason I’m sharing that is because I don’t want to misgender him now but it’s obviously relevant that I didn’t know yet that he’s a man.) When I was watching the footage back to edit, I caught a sweet gesture in his Romeo monologue to me that gave me total butterflies and I found myself watching it over and over. I decided by the end of the week that I wasn’t actually interested in him, and then proceeded to convince myself I was straight again until I was 21.
I was at a regional theatre convention with my college department and we’d seen one of the schools perform a show earlier in the day. The girl who played the lead was absolutely incredible. Later in the day, I was on a bus waiting to go back to the hotel, and I saw that school in line to also board the bus, including the girl. I thought I was just a little starstruck, but my head was spinning as they all got on and she made her way toward the back of the bus where I was to let people continue to get on. She asked if she could sit next to me and I thought my heart was going to explode it was beating so fast.
Normally, when people sit next to me who I don’t know, we both do things on our phones so we don’t have to talk to a stranger. I had absolutely no intention of picking up my phone if there was any chance she wanted to talk to me. And she did. And I truly about died. It turned out that she’d had a rehearsal during a class I attended that she’d wanted to go to, and I’d taken extreme notes, so I offered to send them to her and gave her my phone to give me her email, but I didn’t clarify that. She put in her number. I did not shut up about her for the last two days of the trip or the following week.
Being in a very liberal college theatre group, of course my friends were all super excited and supportive, and one of the adults on the trip with us is bisexual and she was actually a big help and encouragement as I settled into the realization that I wasn’t just starstruck by this girl.
I didn’t have my first full-on crush on a girl until a little later into the year with a new girl in the department. I don’t even remember realizing I liked her. Just all of a sudden, every time I was around her, all those reactions started happening again. And we were in the same friend group, so we were around each other a lot.
She would enter the same room as me and I would have trouble focusing. She would smile at me or laugh at a joke I made and I would almost short-circuit. I had to pin her into this weird top for a costume and I would get a little shaky every time. She would text the group chat and I would just stare at my phone. One time, she hugged me and kept her hands on my waist as we pulled back and she just met my eyes and smiled at me and I am genuinely not sure I have ever short-circuited so hard over a crush.
So that’s how I’ve learned to recognize the signs for myself. I had the same kind of reactions that I had with guys I liked. My head spun, my heart raced, my brain would either never shut up or totally shut down, I found myself going out of my way to spend time with her or just be in the same room as her. I’d see her and I’d get that cheesy warm, fuzzy feeling. I’d get really nervous in a way I never got around other friends. 
That being said, my feelings for the girl on the bus and my friend felt so different from what I’d felt before. With my friend, in particular, I’ve never been more sure of a crush. I felt everything more strongly. I’m a pro at finding reasons to stop liking someone so much, and I couldn’t find a single one with her. I could talk myself out of wanting to pursue any crush in college, but the only reasons I had for not telling her how I felt were that the thought completely terrifies me with anyone, I wasn’t sure how she felt and didn’t want to mess up the friendship, and I was about to graduate while she would still be in college for a long time. All outside things. Nothing to do with her.
And it did take me a while to understand it. I think I actually more typically get crushes on guys, so that made it even harder to figure out. Honestly, talking about it helped me a lot. It was easier to make sense of it when I had friends getting excited with me and freaking out over how they hadn’t seen me like that about a crush before.
Being on here helped me, too. I was still scared to talk to friends out loud, so it helped to see what people on here said and find things I could relate to. Actually, one of the first signs I just didn’t realize was that I was starting to read and even write female character x reader fics and trying to convince myself it was for curiosity and expanding my writing.
The one other thing I can think of that helped me was overthinking things the way I always do. It made me try to analyze my own feelings in a way I never had before. I tried to imagine dating this girl. The thought scared me, but because I was starting to realize that dating anyone intimidated me and was an entirely separate problem. Also, being ace does add a new layer of navigation. But when I was first really trying to figure out if I liked her, I imagined how I would feel if she liked me. I realized I would feel a kind of excitement I wasn’t sure I’d ever even felt before, and that was my answer.
It doesn’t have to be any of my business how your family feels, but if you want to talk about that, I’m here. I totally understand that it’s SUCH a difficult situation to be in, but if this is who you are, no one has the right to tell you otherwise or how to live your life. I know that’s a lot easier said than done. But you don’t have to live your whole life the way your family wants.
I can’t speak from experience not having a supportive family. I told my mom as soon as I got home from the theatre convention. But it’s been 3 years, now, and I haven’t told my brother or my dad. I know they’ll be incredibly supportive. I know it won’t cause problems. But the thought still scares me. The idea of anything having to change scares me. The thought of actually physically having the conversation terrifies me.
So I don’t mean to make it sound like I understand having an unsupportive family. I’m so sorry if that’s your situation. I do understand being scared, though, and feeling like you have to cut yourself off from pursuing something for the sake of not having to deal with it. I can’t preach about living as your most honest, authentic self when I’m not there yet, either. But I’m here with you if you want a friend while you navigate this potential new territory.
The last thing I’ll say is this: once I got over my initial shock and set aside other influences so that I could just focus on myself first, I felt so happy. I felt excited. And I felt free. It kind of felt like a rebirth. Things made sense that never had before. I felt like I’d just opened up a new world for myself. Obviously, we live in a world where it’s not simple and easy and automatically accepted by everyone. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find all the good there is.
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Text
Hamilton!firstprince au
(cross posted from twitter with a couple of edits b/c i couldn’t make them there)
in which i loosely follow the plot of hamilton except its firstprince and alex and henry get a happy ending. inspired by the striking similarities i noted between our favorite first son and his namesake hamilton in the broadway musical
the similarities:
both have/will have a political career
both often talk too much/don't mind their words
both began as lawyers
both extremely motivated but overwork themselves (“nonstop” +  “you have a fire under ur ass for no good goddamn reason)
both had some sort of sex scandal that impacted their career plans
hamilton speculated to be bi
the story
the setup of the colonized country alex lives in is similar to the usa vs england but fictional bc alexs race would have limited his opportunities in america's early years
idk names for either of these countries so its now the colony and the motherland
alex + his mom live alone in the poorer southern part of the colony
but his dad + june live elsewhere + they dont rly contact e/o (tho they do know of e/o’s existence)
june becomes a journalist who writes important pieces abt independence
when alex comes of age his mom reveals she used to be part of the rebellion
thats actually why his dad left to raise june bc it was too dangerous
his parents met in the rebellion but oscar left first for june while ellen stayed until she realized she was pregnant w alex
ellen still has some rebel contacts but she mostly sheltered alex to keep him safe
now tho alex decides to join too + the rebellion sends him up north to the capital for an education bc he's smart + they need people like that
he attends uni + meets like-minded people there
tension grows btwn the colony in the motherland, and alex + his friends write/speak out often and this goes on throughout their schooling
they’re also troublemakers in general too, much to the annoyance of the motherland soldiers stationed in the capital to prevent rebellion
henry is one of those soldiers
he's from a noble family in the motherland but was sent overseas as the sort of black sheep of the family due to his sexuality
the idea was to let him be in charge in the colony + reestablish a reputation there w/o embarrassing the main family back home
henry hates his job + feels bad for the colonists but still does what he's told anyway
alex + fhis riends like to bug motherland soldiers for fun
nothing  enough to put their lives in danger too much (although yes that too esp when drunk)
henry becomes a favorite target of alex's bc he's awfully stoic + statue like + on the way to uni - overall fun to antagonize 
there's also the fact that alex is angry at all the soldiers for oppressing the colony + holding up the motherland monarchs tyranny (but also alex just is the type to fight literally everything and anything) 
it becomes almost a daily ritual for them to argue 
henry wonders why this colonist keeps on picking a fight w him but soon almost looks forward to it
many of the other soldiers know or speculate why henry is in the colony but none make the effort to get to know him; some even call him arrogant or undeserving of his position
alex doesn't 
of course alex also doesn't know him
and alex hates him
but he doesn't whisper behind henry's back
henry comes to read some of the essays alex publishes speaking out against the monarchy + also hears alex speak to crowd in the square
alex is a talented + charismatic public speaker
henry finds himself growing increasingly sympathetic to the colonists cause
at the same time he and the other soldiers are order to be stricter and dole out more punishments
the others gleefully do so which makes henry concerned about alex's safety bc alex often seems to have no self-preservation skills
henry asks alex for a word when he's alone 
“am I in trouble?” “no but you bloody will be if u keep going on like this” 
“this is serious” “so am I” “you can't go around saying things so openly you'll get yourself killed”
alex tries to leave at this point “I think I'll be ok” but henry shoves him against the nearest wall 
“listen to me! stop acting like this is a game! ur putting ur sodding life in danger! I dont bloody care what ur opinions r but why must u declare them around enemy soldiers? how is this helpful 2 ur cause? u cant fight if ur dead” 
“you'd b surprised how effective martyrs are” 
cue enraged henry noises 
alexs gaze turns hard “listen i  appreciate/the advice” he says sarcastically “but I dont need an enemy telling me what to do. I can take care of myself” 
there's a stirring in alexs chest after he removes henry's hand and stalks off that he's pretty sure is anger
like it can't be anything else 
while alex is trying to convince himself of that, the tensions boil over + soon the two sides are on the brink of war then the fighting starts
henry + alex don't talk much for a while bc they're both busy on their sides preparing
school is on hold during the war so alex + his friends are looking to serve + bring glory to their names 
alex esp is recognized for his intelligence + becomes the recognized general rafael lunas secretary
luna is the george washington figure in this case who is impressed by alex wants him as his right-hand man
alex is disappointed his role is not on the battlefield bc he knows he has a good tactical mind + he could change the tide of a losing war + gain honor and status thru it, which would put him in a good position to be elected in the future
as secretary, alex is in charge of a lot of important correspondence eg for more supplies + men, so the motherland soldiers figure ambushing him off the battlefield would make things hard for the colonists
henry overhears this plan + immediately worries for alex's safety but he's cornered by another soldier to talk strategy + misses the chance to take out the men then
henry manages to catch that they're going to attack alex at night when he leaves + henry arrives just in time to kill them in a panic
alex hears the gunshot + yells “drop ur weapon”, drawing his own gun
henry obviously does + alex inspects the scene he keeps a gun fixed on henry
“what's going on?” he asks, eyeing henry w/ suspicion
henry explains everything + looks positively terrified bc he just betrayed his side even tho the motherland and his family has treated him like shit since he came out but still. 
becoming an outright traitor is not something henry ever planned + leaving behind everything he's ever known w no hope of ever going back is terrifying
but he also doesn't regret protecting alex
alex questions henry but can quickly tell henry is sincere + is telling the truth
henry explains his change of heart + they have a heartfelt moment in/just outside luna's office.
alex almost died + henry just switched sides, emotions are running high and they escalate into a kiss. the moon is out + it's all very romantic but they don't admit their feelings yet
soon after they go to luna, explain the situation + talk w the other generals/people in charge
henry is sent away on an assignment + is watched closely at first but he proves his loyalty quickly
henry and alex write letters back + forth that turn into love letters 
besides managing correspondence for luna, some of alexs ideas of sneak attacks/stealing supplies help turn the tide of the war andhe also writes to other countries for foreign aid
eventually the colonists win in this huge up start that no one anticipated bc the motherland is known as the most powerful country in the world
he + henry reunite in the capital of once the war is over
alex finishes up his studies + practices law + soon is chosen to be part of the new lawmaking body
things are going pretty well for alex w his legal + political success and his relationship with henry
they dont live together but theyre dating tho no one else knows
alex pretends to be single instead + says he doesn't want to be tied down
it works while he's still in his early 20s but as he gets closer to 30, people start to find it strange + tell him he needs to settle
being married to his work is also not a valid excuse anymore
it turns out alex made quite a few political enemies due to his strong opinions that he always vocalises + can be unwilling to compromise on
they don't like his ideas or more often hate him and hence his ideas too
they look for some dirt on him bc atm he has lunas support which has a lot of sway + decide they need to find out why he hasn't married
they manage to find out about henry + threaten to tell the public
alex is obviously distraught re the consequences personally + politically
so alex and henry discuss what to do 
henry is willing to put alexs political career 1st but firmly explains their relationship can't continue if that's the case
henry gave up his whole life + any possibility of going back to his family so he's not willing to be someone's dirty little secret  
alex doesn't know what to do so he goes to consult luna who he's become very close with over the years
luna is not quite old enough to be his father but he's like an uncle + he always calls alex “kid”, much to alex's annoyance
but alex knows he'll have some good advice
alex + luna end up having a long conversation
like washington luna has always been very vocal abt his regrets re his naivety + desire for glory back in his youth
hes always said that this was his greatest regret in life. but then he tells alex like he had another great regret in life- letting go of the love of his life
alex is surprised bc luna's never mentioned anyone special
“who is she?” 
“he” luna corrects “he was my best friend. we had something a relationship but it was short-lived bc I decided I wanted to join the military + attain glory. i thought thats what i wanted in life. turns out that stuff is meaningless w/o anyone to share it w. nor did I even achieve it. perhaps i did accomplish some things but now in my retirement I have no one by my side. i have found that life is meaningless without love and family.  
“i tried to find my friend to reconnect after all these years even as simply friends but he died in the war. alex, I see many similarities between us. don't make the same mistake that I did, alexander. glory + lasting legacy mean nothing if you're alone in the end
“if you make choices that are motivated by love and family you will be a lot happier”
alex takes his advice even though he kind of hates sort of giving up to his enemies
he decides to choose henry and his own happiness over politics bc in the end he's done a lot of good work and that much is enough
also his enemies probably would try to blackmail him throughout his career if he was doing something against their interests
so he + henry leave the capital and move uptown and the two of them have a quiet retirement + engage in philanthropy for the rest of their lives
separately they've amassed a decent amount of money - henry kept a portion of his inheritance despite being unofficially disowned and alex made a lot of money as a lawyer and then politician
as it turns out alex still has a tangential role in politics when some of his former allies go to him for advice
all in all, alex happy with his final decision to be with henry and step away from politics
the two of them live happy and full lives together
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angel-deux-writes · 4 years
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I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this On Here, but I really want to tell the story of the guy who put in my kitchen floors because it was terrifying
im putting it under a cut bc it’s probably not that long, but who knows.
(scrolled back up after i actually wrote it to confirm that it is in fact long)
Some backstory is that I was INCREDIBLY lucky and got my condo very cheap in a neighborhood I already knew I loved. The other unit I’d looked at was a full 30k over my budget, but this one was perfect because the owner hadn’t updated ANYTHING since it was built in 1985, so it was just...awful. Awful rugs, awful floors, awful walls. My dad is like...the dad who loves a project, so he was all “I can fix all of this except the floors!!! it’ll be great!!”, so I bought it. We hired a local company to do the floors, not wanting to go to Home Depot or whatever (Which i still support in theory, just......not this company lmao). Everything except the kitchen and bathroom was originally carpet. Hallways, stairs, every single room. And it was cheap industrial carpet, too. Like the kind in office buildings. The dude who did the carpet was like “what the fuck were they thinking???” 
Also, one of the carpets had a truly upsetting rusty stain, so. My guest bedroom might be haunted. 
Anyway, the carpet guy was great. He was the owner of the company, and he was older and very kind. I had my mom come over with me when he was doing the carpets, but I didn’t even need her there. He was cool. His son was in charge of the hardwood portion (I say “hardwood”. I mean, like, the cheapest laminate while still looking nice lmao). He was less great. He had a team of like 3 dudes and 1 lady who would show up and work, doing my office/dining room and upstairs hallway. I know carpet is easier, but the carpet guy took one day, and these guys took a week and a half. They messed up a few times, and it was kind of stressful, but overall it was okay. They had to redo all the subfloors, because condos built in 1985 were almost universally built in buckwild, impossible-to-explain ways, so it took forever. The hardwood guys were loud as hell, but they were nice! 
At one point, one of the nicest guys accidentally broke a few of my kitchen tiles while putting in the transition from the wood to the tile. I was cool with it, tbh, but he offered a discount on a new kitchen floor because, shocker, the subfloor under the broken tile was really jacked up, and it wouldn’t be as simple as taking a tile from under the fridge and replacing it. I was like, okay, cool! We set it up. 
I did not hear from them for four months. Which, I get it. It was a discounted job, so obviously they wanted to do full-price jobs first. I have no problem with that. The same hardwood guys came back to do the subfloor, and then they were like “okay [the owner’s son] will contact you about the tiles. That took about a week. Finally, I got a date. It was a Friday, a day when my sister was already working from home, so she was like “yeah, I can handle it.” She works in interior design, so she’s used to dealing with construction people, and she was REALLY useful when it came to talking down the son of the owner, who was like...every bad stereotype about contractors meshed with a used car salesman. 
So I’m at work the day the tiling is supposed happen. My sister is fine at first, texting me about how the son showed up with one single guy, and then left, so it was only the single guy working. She was annoyed like “it’s supposed to take one day, right? That’s what they said? There’s no way he’s finishing at this pace. Why are they making this guy do the whole thing by himself?”. She called him “nice, kind of cute, but a very slow worker”. I was like ‘well, if they have to come back tomorrow, whatever, that’s fine’.”
Around 10:30 she starts texting me increasingly insane shit. 
“He’s talking to himself downstairs? Maybe he’s on the phone”. 
“He keeps dropping stuff and yelling SHIT really loudly.”
“Someone just showed up with a bag, and he let them in, and they chatted in the kitchen for like ten minutes, and then the person left, and they didn’t take the bag with them”. 
“He’s standing outside using the tile cutter and SCREAMING whenever it’s on.”
“He’s out in the rain and shout-singing something while he’s cutting tile”
“He is BARKING LIKE A DOG TO THE TUNE OF THE RUGRATS THEME SONG CAN YOU PLEASE COME HOME”
I’m half convinced she’s making this shit up, but she’s uncomfortable so I tell my boss what’s going on and race home. When I get there, there’s a vaguely adam driver looking guy who seems nice enough. A little startled to see me, but we make pleasant conversation, I see that he’s not very far along, and then I go upstairs to see my sister. I brought her takeout as a treat, and we sit there for a while talking about normal things. Gradually, downstairs, the dude starts talking to himself. I’m thinking that’s still not THAT weird. Then he starts singing and clapping along. Okay, a BIT weird, but not terrible. I decide to go downstairs into the living room and play some Playstation. Like, maybe he thinks we can’t hear him upstairs and he’ll be more chill when i’m down there? NOPE! HE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT! He does the barking thing again (and it is, in fact, the rugrats theme song), he’s working at a pace of about one tile per hour, and he starts singing a song that consists only of the word “bitch” over and over again. 
I’m texting my dad, freaking out, and he tries to get in contact with the owner or his son, but nobody’s answering the phone. My other sister and her friend are on their way for game night. My sister’s boyfriend should be home soon from work, but not soon enough. It is, at this point, 7 pm. There is absolutely no chance he’s getting these tiles done today. He’s not even halfway done. My kitchen is VERY SMALL, by the way, so this reasonably could have been done in a day with two people, but I suspect that because it was a discount job, we got the discount treatment. 
My other sister and her friend show up, and the guy is perfectly pleasant and normal to them. We all go upstairs into my sister’s room, and we sit there, waiting in silence for it to start again, hoping that maybe with more people in the house, he’ll be okay. 
NOPE! He starts singing the “bitch” song again. I distinctly remember my other sister whispering “I love this song” and pretending to groove, which was kind of funny but NOT THE TIME. I’m sitting on my sister’s bed clutching a camp axe like a maniac, because I’m like “we are going to be killed by this giant kylo ren asshole”. I’m still texting my dad, who’s like “if you need me to come over, I can, i’m out of work”, but at this point it’s almost 8 and I’m also thinking about my neighbors. Like, he can’t be here at night. He just can’t. He’s so loud even just doing regular tile things! 
I muster up LITERALLY EVERY IOTA OF COURAGE THAT I HAVE, and I head downstairs. I ask him when he’s planning on wrapping up, because I know there’s no way he’s going to finish tonight. He tells me it’ll probably take about two more hours. That is 1) absolutely not true and 2) not something I’m willing to deal with because I live in a condo with neighbors on either side of me, and one of my neighbors is a truck driver who gets up at like 4 am! So I explain that my friends and I have an obligation to get to, and I would love it if we could arrange for someone to continue the work tomorrow. He’s SUPER NICE ABOUT IT and is like “oh, okay, no problem!” He leaves. Just...walks into the rain. Leaves all his tools and his tile cutter. I move it inside because it was on my front porch and it is, again, raining. 
My sister, a Nancy Drew Game fiend, starts searching the entire downstairs and eventually finds the plastic bag that someone brought him. My other sister, who is a nurse in a hospital that primarily treats overdose patients, is like “yep, that’s drug residue for sure”. I’m like, okay, so he didn’t hurt any of us, and he was nice, just....high and weird. But it’s over now, so whatever. My dad says he’ll call the owner’s son the next day, and everything’s cool. He also says that he, my mom, and my brother will all come over to watch the football game at my house the next day just to be there (which...im less than thrilled about the football part, but sure). I also beg my friend to drive up from the Cape to pick up his hat that he left at my condo over the summer just so he can chill for a few hours in the morning. 
The next day, the same guy returns, with the owner’s son this time. The owner’s son is like “why did you only get this far along?” but otherwise doesn’t really say anything. The barking guy is TOTALLY FINE, totally polite. My friend lingers as long as he can, but there’s an ice storm coming, so he peaces out eventually. I’m alone for about an hour with the guy, and nothing happens. He’s quiet, even when the owner’s son peaces for a bit. My parents show up, we watch the football game, and nothing happens. I feel like A LUNATIC, because my dad is like “he seems fine now” and I’m like NO BUT YESTERDAY WAS TERRIFYING. 
Anyway, so that’s the story. I didn’t end up saying anything to the owner’s son, but my dad reamed him out a bit for sending only one person to do a job meant for two. And now every time I drive by that business I suppress a shudder, and sometimes the barking version of the Rugrats theme song still gets stuck in my head.
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noctomania · 4 years
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As Someone Who Didn’t Vote For 10 Years: Your Vote Matters.
Hey. So, let’s chat. Or rather, hear me out.
I turned 18 in 2006. I did not vote until 2016. Bc even I saw through my apathy & prioritized trying to combat potential fascism. You can get an idea of how many elections one sits out of over a 10yr span here. It’s a lot & I should have done my part much sooner. Though I could say “well I was in college from 2007-2012 & &&” no. Not an excuse. I had time no doubt. I was just apathetic. I have reflections for those who continue to abstain from their right & duty to vote.
I remember my parents encouraging me to register to vote. I think it was part of applying for my license or something. I can’t remember if I ever registered with a party, but I think in TX in order to vote you have to be registered with a party. In any case, since I’ve been registered in the north I haven’t been part of a party bc I too felt the whole thing was a sham. I was still remembering the robbery that was Bush’s terms. TWO WHOLE TERMS. I remember seeing my mom cry when he won his first term. I remember hearing about all the awful shit he was doing as president from my dad & stepmom.
But I also remember thinking: “Why isn’t anyone doing anything?”
It can be incredibly disheartening & frustrating & downright angering to hear about atrocities without hearing about the forces fighting back. Death & Drama sells.
I wasn’t eligible to vote when bush was running. Then Obama came along & I was like “Great, surely my blue state I live in now is all for him & I don’t gotta bother - y'all got my order.”
Your. Vote. Matters.
Obama was an incredible victory. I will never allude to him ever being perfect bc he, just like every other president, has had to make tough decisions that do not always work out, or they make decisions you outright disagree with. He’s just part of the spectrum of what we’ve known, but he was the first Black president of a nation that was built & raised on destroying Native communities & enslaving Black people. That was & will remain significant. As you can imagine, during that time of not voting I also was not entirely involved in racial matters as much as I should have been despite what I was actively learning about in college. I sunk into apathy.
Apathy is a comfort not afforded to everyone. It is not an option for everyone as a means of survival. Were Black communities & of color to sink entirely into apathy they would be completely wiped out bc there are organized white supremacists who spend every waking hour trying to find new ways to attack in covert & not-so-covert ways - voter suppression, intimidation, manipulation, propaganda. Apathy is a privilege. A white privilege that even a kid raised on free lunches at school & hand-me-downs from neighbors could afford.
Your. Vote. Matters.
Let’s talk symbolism. “My refusal to vote is symbolic of my disgust with how this nation is run, how our elections are corrupt, to show my hatred of the electoral college, my vote doesn’t matter anyway bc ...”
You’re right. Your vote is symbolic. But not for what you think.
When you don’t vote, that is like not replying to a message. The nation poses a question to all voters: Who do you want to represent you? If you don’t reply to the email, your input isn’t counted at all. There is no footnote to say “I didn’t vote bc of such-and-such reason.” You might have been unconscious. You might have forgotten. You might have not cared. You might care very much.
But there is literally no job in the entire election process who’s responsibility is to sit in an office & contemplate why Jared in Oklahoma didn’t cast a vote.
“Gee, I sure hope Jared is ok. Is he mad at us? I guess he might want change...”
No. The way you show that you are not happy with how things are going is to vote. THAT is how you send the sentiment of “Hey so this isn’t great I’d like to try moving this way.” But we can’t really make progress without continuing to push. Even when things look like they’re going well (”Hey, we got a Black guy in office, we’re doing great with the racism stuff!”) you gotta keep pushing - which is why you need to be able to realize the ones you do vote for need to be criticized as well. Obviously, there will be myths & the ones about Obama probably hit a record tally on that with how angry a Black person as president made the racists in this country feel, but there are valid criticisms as well that should not be overlooked if we want to know how to push for a better tomorrow, or to avoid accidentally electing a new nightmare bc you aren’t getting immediate results from who you thought was going to change the world. It’s a lot to put on one president. It would take multiple terms, beyond 2, to really see a shift considering they may be combating an opposing congress or supreme court. 
The only reason your vote matters is because it is symbolic. If we all had esp we wouldn’t need to vote. Writing on a form that looks different depending on where you are yet all cumulatively results in the tallying for ONE election is entirely symbolic. That’s not an argument against voting, it’s proof as to why you should vote. Symbolism is not without consequence. Look at every book-burning that has ever happened. Our ideas are symbolic until they are put into practice. Your vote is your idea. We can’t read your mind. And the government isn’t reading your blog being like “GiantD0ngB0ng really said it best when they said ‘Fuck politicians’. That really change our perspective on how we had been running this nation. You’re right GiantD0ngB0ng, you’re right.”
If we had elected Hillary after Obama, we wouldn’t be so fucking bad with corona bc she wouldn’t have dismembered the pandemic response Obama had built due to swine flu, we wouldn’t be nearly as worried about ACA, we would still absolutely have criticisms bc no matter Woman, Black, Hispanic, Immigrant, Trans, Disabled, Homeless, or any combination of intersection of minorities, nobody is perfect. Nobody knows all the answers. Thus a decentralized government model that will only remain anywhere near as such if we stop letting fascists & bad faith actors get power by using our symbolic vote to say no.
Most everyone HATES group projects. I certainly do. If any people enjoy them, there are still likely aspects of it that rub them the wrong way like having a partner that doesn’t contribute. Guess what.
Elections are group projects.
I believe it was EvelynFromTheInternets who made me realize that, & echoes much of the same sentiment I have written in this.
And at 5:55 she says: What Are You Going To Do On November 4th bc We Are Still Fighting For Suffrage. We have to keep pushing & working towards a better tomorrow, today. None of it will amount to much if people are not voting. You can campaign & fundraising & educate all you want. But if people don’t vote it’s all for nothing. You need both.
“ As of June 2020, the United States had the highest number of incarcerated individuals worldwide, with more than 2.12 million people in prison “ This is absolutely part of the bigger problem & yet another way people have been disheartened. It’s on purpose. They don’t want disenfranchised communities to be able to vote. So we - those of us who don’t have to wait in lines for hours, those of us who don’t face racial violence, those of us who can choose apathy & laziness for a decade with little to no personal consequence - must vote symbolically for them.
If you want your vote to mean something then vote for them. Vote for the people who are still ineligible to vote even though they aren’t in prison anymore. Vote for the people who despite working more than you do, harder than you do, for less than you do, still have to pay taxes & still denied the right to vote. Vote for the people who can’t vote bc police murdered them. Vote for the people who wait 10 hours in line to vote & are turned away when they finally get to the front of the line. Vote for those who don’t have the right to relinquish in the first place. Hell you can even vote for those who do vote anyway but have been misled by propaganda. Bc if you don’t, eventually we all will sink. You may be in the upper class of the titanic but in the end the whole ship is going down & you may just have the opportunity to slowly freeze out in the dark ocean on a lifeboat with all your rich strangers with the slim chance at survival rather than swallowed immediately by the sea like those who were locked in the lower levels to keep them from access to rescue.
At 7:24 Evelyn hits another really important part that I think drives my whole point home: as a Black woman her actual life, & those who share her experience, is on the line constantly in this country & much of this world. It is not entirely as symbolic to some people as it is to the more privileged populations.
Sure, your vote is symbolic, & sure you not voting is absolutely symbolic. But the only thing not voting is symbolic of is your apathy, your own privilege to choose that & think you’ll be fine & that it’s other people who need to “wake up”. No babe, it’s you. Wake up to the wider consequences of symbolic gestures.
Your vote matters whether it’s electoral college or popular vote. Your vote matters to getting closer to an admin that will enable popular vote as the determinant & eradicate the electoral college. Your vote matters whether you’re in a “blue” state or a “red” state or a battleground state. A state is only red or blue until it’s not. I come from TX I know about that shit. The only reason “battleground” states are a focus is bc they fluctuate more often than others, that doesn’t make others ineligible to change. Your vote matters bc you may be only a portion of the overall grade, but the overall grade affects everyone. It will impact others more harshly than you.
Your Vote Matters.
I want to add one last note: voting doesn’t happen once every 4 years, & it’s never JUST about president. If you don’t go vote at all, you are neglecting the more local stuff as well which is what affects the bigger elections. If all you do during a group project is read one line during the presentation in class, the grade will reflect you lack of effort elsewhere throughout the project. If I showed up & only voted for president & nothing else it would be for nothing. Racist & bigoted GOP will vote all red all the time up & down ballot. It’s not about age either. If your vote didn’t matter then they wouldn’t sink so much money & effort into trying to prevent people from doing it.
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bluepluto03 · 5 years
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mcu spiderman rewrite/au i may or may not do
ok so first quick disclaimer! i do not hate the mcu spider man movies in any way!! i actually enjoy them quite a bit and have seen homecoming like 4 times! and i absolutely adore all the actors in the movies, especially tom, zendaya, and jacob 
but the problem w/ the mcu spiderman movies is,,, they’re just not spiderman. at least from a writing/thematic perspective, which sucks bc so much other stuff about them is great! like tom holland is the perfect peter parker, which is why it seems so close to being right, but with the way the script is actually written... it’s just. not spider-man. 
i feel the need to explain all this/my problems w/ the movies b4 i get into the actuall au idea/plot, so please bear with me for a sec
for context, I’ve loved spiderman my whole life. i’d watch the cartoons when i was younger, and then went back and watched them all again when i was a bit older and figured out how to pirate stuff lol. i didn’t really know how to get into the comics, so i just kinda read wikis and got second-hand info from fanfics and the other movies
to me, spiderman, (at least, peter parker spiderman,) was always about like... a kid, who saw the world was broken and fixed it because he could. he had the power to fix stuff, so he did. 
as a kid w/ mental illness and a not so great home life... that was something really really important to me. to see another kid out there, who’s been through some shit, but finally has the power to make stuff better, so he is! and it would make me think, maybe i can change stuff for the better, someday, if i just get my chance
but,,,,, the problem is mcu peter parker isn’t that. 
instead of becoming spiderman bc he knows there’s bad in the world and wants to fix it, suddenly his motivation is impressing tony stark?? and don’t get me wrong i don’t hate tony, but the way they wrote his and peter’s relationship basically trapped peter. he could no longer be his own hero, bc he was tony’s successor. and that's never who peter parker’s spiderman was?? he was never a follower, he was a trendsetter. he didn’t become spiderman for approval, hell he had dozens of newspapers constantly slandering him. 
honestly the following in someone else’s footsteps thing was always a miles morales thing. he had to step up to the plate and fill the shoes of a spiderman who had already existed for years and was beloved by the whole city. obviously thats not all he is and simplifying his character to that is incredibly obtuse, but i bring it up bc tbh alot of stuff w/ mcu peter parker is just straight-up ripped off from miles morales. like how peter now goes to a fancy private school, is no longer poor (which is a huge thing w/ peter parker’s character in like every other incarnation), has a living father figure, and is bffs w/ ned, who is a straight-up rip off of miles’s best friend ganke. (for the record tho i adore ned and jacob i’m def keeping him in my rewrite,,,, also i’m glad he’s in the movie bc having a plus sized poc protagonist thats not constantly mocked is incredible) 
so, i’m complaining about all this stuff lol but ur probably wondering how exactly how i wanna fix it lol,,,, 
first, give peter an arc thats more than just..... i want tony to believe in me. my idea for that is basically a type of thing where he learns to rely on others! bc like... peter isn’t good at working w/ others lol, he’d much rather do it all himself so no one else gets hurt. (like in the andrew garfield movies where he just,,,, webs his gf to a car so she can’t run into danger lmao) 
the plot would start at a similar ish position to homecoming, though tony never recruits peter for civil war. tbh not sure if it even happened but we’ll disscuss that later
peter’s been spiderman for a few months, after a trip to oscorp left him w/ a radioactive spider bite. currently no one knows about it, and he’s doing a pretty ok job of dealing w/ everything on his own. until he takes down a big bad, lets say rhino for now, and gains a ton of publicity. after stooping a hudge disaster he’s suddenly in the limelight, and catches the attention of one norman osborn, aka the green goblin 
now, quick sidenote. green goblin is genreally seen as pretty goofy, but there are comic versions of him that are legit terrifying. if im being honest i didn’t even know about that version until i read aloneintherains fic birds eating other birds so ig thats kinda ish how i’m imagining this version of norman? though alot more composed, like the man who could someday turn into that 
so norman becomes intrested in my boy peter, and starts sending ppl after him. possibly the sinister 6, but uhh maybe not bc tbh i think this “rewrite” needs to be split into 2 “movies”/works and i might wanna save that for the hypothetical pt2 (btw if i write this it won’t b for a while cause i got other stuff going on but ig if ppl are intrested i might write some snippits/make more content for it) 
so basically the main plot is peter dealing w/ all these big bads on his own, doing ok at first but later getting really fucked up, and eventually revealing himself to ned and mj which ends up being the only way he can save the day in the end. by relying on others! yay!! 
thats it for the main plot, but don’t worry y’all we got other stuff going on too lmao 
so, for one. my boy peter is realizing he has a crush and just,,,, freaking tf out. (i have yet to decide if it’s on ned or mj. or both. sue me) the crush isn’t definitely resolved in p1, but i imagine there’d be some cute thing of him suddenly realizing and freaking out and almost revealing his powers. 
thing 2! tony stark! he is still in here, and still a mentor to peter, but in a pretty drastically different way. one, he doesn't know about peter being spiderman. he doesn't even suspect it lmao. he just gets involved bc of.... some sort of reason bc peter is so smart. do i know why just yet? no. does it matter? probably but i’m writing this pretty late after i had school all day so i’m too tired to care 
bc tony basically gives peter a real internship/mentorship type thing, peter now has access to all this tech!! and all these funds!! fucking lit!! so he changes from his pajama suit to the fancy one, tho he actually built it!! which i feel like him making his suit is a really big really important part of his character. so it doesn't really have all those random things tony added, tho peter might add stuff himself. he gets Karan as a like assistant ai as part of his internship but she never gets put into the suit
for the fist part tony plays a super minor role but like,,,, the first part is about osborn taking an intrest in him, and him confiding in ned and mj. the second part norman is become progressively more dangorus and peter has to fight him and stuff, kinda proving he is strong enough to be spiderman/be trusted to the whole world, beyond just ned and mj. also him actually getting together w/ either one or both of them bc...... bc i want that. 
oh btw idk if tony finds out or not in p2? if he does it’s either at the end or in a scene like the one w/ may bc like. please imagine the shenanigans of peter and ned (who both have high intellegence but low wisdom) in tony’s lab, obviously trying to hide the fact that peter’s spiderman. like he walks in on them and peter looks all frumpy bc he’s been trying to change real fast, and ned’s shirt is messed up bc he just stuffed the mask down the front of it, and mj is just. chilling behing them. so tony just like assumes stuff and is like....aight.... have fun.... 
oh btw the last big change that i didn’t really have anyway to insert natrually into this,,,, so remember how i said ned was kinda a ripoff of ganke? well, the writers claim he’s a “composite character” so i figured, why not give him traits from other famous spiderman side character so he actually is a composite character! 
so like,,,, throughout p1 it’s referenced that ned has a kinda dickish estranged ish dad that he hates and his mom doesn't really like but kinda forces him too... theres some mentions of his dad wanting him to transfer to a private school and being kinda rich, bur he dosen’t want to bc he knows his dad is a total dickead,,,, anyway end of the movie we find out norman osborn is ned’s dad, and ned hates him even fucking more bc it’s like bitch?? u tried to get my (maybe) bf murdered?? tf?? and its lowkey bc he can’t reveal peter’s id, but then in p2 after norman takes matters into his own hands and tries to kill peter on his own ned just fucking yells at him while the man is in jail and is like fuck u lmao 
soooo thats my really messy au idea!! i’m really tired sorry if this is hard to understand or rude! for the record i have nothing against the ppl who adore these movie’s, i just think they could be better! 
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bqstqnbruin · 5 years
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So I got a little tipsy and was watching one of the Christmas episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Oops. Merry Christmas in August! I’m also in a huge proposal mood for some reason even though I’m single af but it’s fine (I already know I want my engagement ring to have a sapphire in it bc it’s my birthstone and I love it) 
________________
“The mood is right, the spirits up.” Paul McCartney echoes from your Spotify playlist as the two of you rush to get ready for Christmas morning mass with your parents. The two of you got up with plenty of time to spare to look presentable, but you managed to get side tracked by each other after opening the presents you gave each other. 
You had promised your parents that you would exchange gifts with them after mass, but Charlie said he couldn’t wait; he got you a present that he would never have you open in front of your parents. “We’re here tonight, and that’s enough.”
“Charlie, c’mon, we told my mom that we would be at the Church in ten minutes!” You yell to him. He takes longer in the shower than any person you had ever met. Plus you know he’ll take at least ten minutes to get ready, and the church you go to is a five minute ride away from the hotel you’re staying at. Granted, your parents told you and Charlie that mass started 15 minutes earlier than it actually did because they knew Charlie would make you late.
“Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.” You’re sitting on the bed you didn’t have time to make, knowing you have to wash the sheets anyway. You can get ready in less than five minutes, something Charlie can’t do.
“Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.” Charlie got ready in what seemed like record time, and after speeding to the church, the two of you got there two minutes before your parents wanted you there.
After finding them in the church with your siblings, Charlie turns to your dad, “Do we have some time before mass to talk for a second?” the two guys get up for a moment and go to the back of the church.
“The party’s on, the feeling’s here.” “What do you think that’s about?” your mom asks you. She has this idea in her head that Charlie is going to ask you to marry him any day now. You guys have talked about it, and you know you’re ready, but you’re pretty sure he’s waiting for the anniversary of when you started dating, or for your birthday. 
“He likes Dad, they’re probably talking about how he can improve his game or something.” 
“You two are coming to your aunts house tomorrow, right?”  “Of course.” 
Every year, since your family is so big, your aunt has been throwing what has been known as ‘the Cousin’s Party’ the day after Christmas. The Christmas season is the only time that all the cousins are in the same area; every single cousin, aunt and uncle flies and drives in for this one last day of the year together. It’s easily your favorite part of Christmas.  “That only comes this time of year.” 
Your dad and Charlie come back just in time for mass to start. Your dad whispers something into your mom's ear as Charlie pecks your cheek, beaming. Because the processional had started, you can’t ask him what he’s so happy about. 
“Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.” Your parents had insisted that the two of you come over right after mass so they could give you your presents. Neither of your parents really know what to get the two of you, so it normally comes down to gift cards to various places. Admittedly, it’s easier to send them pictures of what you bought at home in Boston rather than try to take everything back on the plane with you. 
It was Charlie’s idea to use part of his paycheck to get your parents a flight, hotel room, and two tickets to one of his games; they haven’t been able to see him play at home, and this is their chance. Your parents were excited; your dad took out his phone immediately to set up an email to send to his boss to request the time off. “Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.”
Slowly, part of your family started showing up for what you called ‘A Crackhead Christmas.’ Your family wasn’t crazy, per se, but they were crazy. “The choir of children sing their song.”  The entire time, you just wanted to play with your younger cousins. You loved children, and they seemed to love you, too. Instead, though, your family kept asking about your life in Boston, what it was like being with Charlie as if you haven’t been living in Boston or dating Charlie since college. Every family member asked when he was going to propose. “Couldn’t tell ya.” was all you could say, but you swear you saw your mom smirk after you said that. 
“They’ve practiced all year long.” Christmas day went by in a blur. The day after Christmas was here, waking Charlie up early again to get to your aunt’s house by the time your aunt told everyone to show up. Like Charlie, your extended family is always late too, so when she asks you to show up at 1 pm, she knows everyone will show up at 2 pm. Charlie didn’t know that, though. That didn’t stop you from leaving later than you wanted. You left late to your aunts for the same reason that you left late for Christmas mass, but who really needed to know that?
“Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding.” You get to your aunt’s house later than 1 pm, but you were still one of the first ones there besides your family. Your mom seemed more excited than normal to see you guys. She pulled Charlie away as soon as she was done saying hello to you. 
“The party’s on, the spirit’s up.” Your entire family was finally at my aunt’s house. It was the best day of the year; all your cousins in one place, your aunts, your uncles, grandparents - everyone together. Besides Charlie, your family is what made you happiest. “We’re here tonight, and that’s enough.”
“Hey everyone?” Charlie said, standing up on one of the chairs. “I have an announcement to make.” He even managed to get the attention of your cousins kids; the children who had more energy than the universe as a whole. 
He got down from the chair and walked up to you. “Since I met you, I’ve known you were the one. But you knew that,” he laughed, “I knew you wanted me to ask this on a day that meant something to you, so how could I not choose the day that you were with your entire family?” 
He got down on one knee, and pulled out a sapphire ring. “Will you marry me?” 
“Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.” 
Before you could answer, your dad calls, “He already got my permission!”
“Of course!” What better way to say yes to Charlie than surrounded by your family.
“We have a wedding to plan! I’m the maid of honor obviously!” your closest cousin said.
“I wanna be the ring bear! I’m good at being a bear!” One of your cousins kids said, starting to growl like a bear.
“We’re simply having a wonderful Christmas time.”
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icharchivist · 5 years
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The organization around this quarantine thing is such a disaster tbh. 
About two weeks ago, two of our teachers were the ones who were especially worried. 
There was the first case of covid19 in the nearby high school, and our uni, being a linguistic one in a region nearby the Italian border, has a lot of connection with centric pandemic regions in Italy, before they even shut down themselves.
Two of our teachers were concerned bc, as we just came home from holidays, a lot of people connected to the Italian branch came back to the uni as well, and nothing was really done about it. 
One of my teacher was especially mad bc there was no soap in the bathrooms of the uni for a week at that time. She told us then that she will no longer note our presences for classes (mandatory esp for those with scholarships), and encouraged us if we were scared, knew we would be weak to the virus (asthma and such), or if we knew people who were, to not go to school anymore. Told us specifically to take pictures of the soapless bathroom so if the administration bothered us, we’d send them picture going “you’re endangering us”
I’m asthmatic. I have a lot of breathing problems in general, due to a nose malformation that makes it hard to breath and flow normally. and i have allergies. Hell my seasonal illness involves coughing, headaches, nothing flowing from the nose, and lung pains, feeling tired, all those stuff. I can’t even bring up how paranoid i am. Latest cycle of said sickness kicked in with a fever which worried my mom and I had to go see a doctor in urgence a couple of days ago. I’m fine. But i feel extremely paranoid. (and it’s not like France is getting us tested wth bloodtest or something - hospitals are overbooked with the pandemy so they only take in people with very urgent symptoms. Even if you get the virus unless you’re going very bad you’re encouraged to stay at home. There’s probably a lot of cases that we don’t know of because of that.)
But anyway school still didn’t stop back then, two weeks ago. We had two teachers who took the time to sit us down and discuss it with us. How the uni was not prepared to handle it. How they both thought the uni should have closed by now, that they’re discussing it, but they don’t want to yet. 
For two weeks all we got as info was that everything was fine. Only need to clean your hands and cough in your arms. But we also had massive announcement just 5 days ago about how it was not even thought of to close schools. To close places with high work going. That we can’t let it stop us and all.
Last Wednesday, there were still clear announcement that there will be no stopping schools or work or anything. Last Friday, we were issued with a message announcing the massive closing of every schools and we were encouraged to stay at home.
Our uni, is, of course, not prepared for it. We got a few homeworks or class by mails with clear messages from our teachers telling us they’re not prepared and we will need to improvise - us students involved. Our exams, that were to happen in April, will be pushed back to May or June. For now.
On Saturday, they encouraged us to still go vote for the Mayor Elections on Sunday. Obviously, more than half of the population didn’t show up. But we were encouraged to do it still.
On Saturday, we were told to no longer go in groups in places. Something that is obvious of course, but a couple of days ago was not even issued. People stayed up late, disregarded the announcement. In the same breath we were told to not go out anywhere with many people, but to go out to do the election on Sunday still.
Mid Sunday, i get a mail from my uni residence saying that people living in those are encouraged to leave their room, whenever definitly or temporary to return to their family during the shut down of the schools.
I didn’t want to, considering my relationships with my family, but this was getting scary. We were still /encouraged/ but not obligated yet. 
I had seen my mom on the Saturday for the doctor so we discussed the possibility, and while not obligated yet, i was a bit scared. I ended up askign my mom to come pick me up. I couldn’t move out *everything* obviously, but i took already 7 bags with me. My mom originally wanted to help me move out on Monday, but the announce scared me enough i wanted to get it done then immediatly.
Sunday evening, they announce they’re going to restrict moving around. Every shops would close. My mom works in administration soe she had to go work monday still. 
Monday my mom’s employer basically tells her to take “holidays” so she doesn’t have to pay her, all while planning to pass all the mails and phonecalls to the agency to my mom’s phone. She’s sent home on Monday.
Monday evening we got the announcement from the gov that we were in complete lockdown. No longer allowed out without a permit. Only allowed to be out for reasons like grocery shopping, going to the pharmacy or doctor, or if you have jobs that are obligated for the good functionment of the country and crisis. (although they did issue you’re allowed to take your dog out but not for long)
We have to go on the gov’s website to ask for a permit. Like Italy i’ve heard. 
We also have a curfew, no longer allowed out until a certain hour.
So now, today, Tuesday, the whole thing is in place. I’ve heard policemen in my street earlier today ask for people’s permit for being out. 
And my uni residence just sent us a mail saying they no longer even tolerate people being inside the residence for the quarantine. We are obligated to move out ASAP, to a family member or such, or leave definitly.  Today, while the gov has issued you can no longer be out without a permit you printed - while, also, we don’t have printers in our residences. 
I feel glad i followed my gut feeling on Sunday to move out bc i have no idea how i could have asked help to move out today with those measures in place.
What i’m trying to get accross is how quickly those measures were taken in the past few days while it’s been a few weeks we’ve been many to worry enough to think dispositions should have been taken earlier. We’ve been thinking about it for weeks at the uni, but suddenly in less than 5 days we went from “we’re not changing a thing” to “quarantine yourself at your parents’s”.
Not to mention our President doing lots of lectures about how we’re At War, A Health War Sure, But At War And We Have To Consider It As Such. Obviously extremely reassuring to hear while you hear about the amount of death and sickness on TV.
Not like the sickness is any better either. I have a friend who’s a nurse in a part of France that is badly affected. Cases with young people starts to degenerate very quickly, even if they had no prior reasons for it to happen. 
We discovered ibuprophen worsen the virus and it brought people who would have no prior situation into critical states to be taken care of.
/young people with no prior situations/, which i think is important to mention since so many people are brushing off the virus in a “it only affect the elderly or people with weak immune system”, as if this wasn’t reason enough to worry, as if we don’t all know multiple people like that around us, as if the 14days incubation period wasn’t terrifying, as if even if we get minor symptoms we don’t get to spread around a sickness that can be deadly for people with a weaker immune system. Well, if it’s so bad to understand the issue yet, i guess thus “young people with no prior situation get into critical situation” should be a wake up call. We don’t know that virus. It’s frightening. 
People get recontaminated too. Which means we don’t get an immunity from healing. We can catch it again. Who knows how that may even go.
My friend, the nurse, says people keep stealing their equipment. They’re shortstaffed, short in materials, they can barely handle the crisis, not helped by the fact it’s been years that the gov keeps cutting health center’s ressources down. We’re not prepared for  a pandemic that way.
Like... I read everyone talk about the panic buyer making it much more of a problem than it is. And while it’s true, it’s overshadowing that this is a Bad Situation, that we know nothing of that virus and it’s scary, and that the gov’s quarantine had been rushed into so much no one knows how to organize themselves around it. 
For now it’s planned for 15 days. god knows how long it will take.
I, asthmatic currently sick with issues breathing, am stuck back with my mom who smokes all the time at home. Both quarantined. I feel lowkey cursed tbh. For years i tried to escape my family, dealing with all the issues that goes with it, and when i finally manage to do so, i get two lawsuits up my ass bc my dad is a douche and then my residence closes up bc of a massive sickness forcing me to go back to my mom’s. 
I don’t know how to focus on my classes bc the organization is chaotic. I’m scared hearing the news. I have trouble breathing all day and while i know it’s nothing, i remain anxious. I don’t know how long i’m gonna stand my mom. Internet gets slower bc of the influx of people locked home to work. 
i don’t care much for being quarantined itself, i can spend days in my home without problems. I don’t like being stuck with my mom and i just don’t like how we’ve been pushed into it in a complete lack of preparation for it. 
I miss my home. 
And it’s just France. Italy and Spain have been in those situations for a while too. 
In a way that makes me even more angry that they didn’t take precaution before while the Italian gov had been warning us for weeks to be careful and take stuff into account before it’s too late. And we still waited, and we still rushed, and now we will blame everyone who is not understanding how thhe gov went from “it’s only a little flu don’t worry, keep going with your life just wash your hands” to “how irresponsable are you not to be in quarantine” in two days. You wonder then why people are panic buying, it’s not like the gov did any work to be crystal clear about the situation. You wonder people are being careless, a couple of days ago they were still told they had no reason to worry and to look down on those who panics.
EDIT: and lmao, i have been saying those stuff for weeks, for about two weeks i say it should have been taken into account, and my mom was pro-keeping-the-mayor-election-going (bc she wuld perhaps get a job out of it) and i told her then i thought it was a very bad idea to keep them going. My mom tried to convince me about how noooo, it was fiiine, we had to have those municipals anyway, “if people can go grocery shopping they can go vote” as our prime minister said, which i found horrifying (buying good is vital, electing a mayor can wait). And my mom kept insisting that it was important. And now, everyone says it was a bad idea to carry them on. Our own election house didn’t take any health precaution. Even my mom is saying “it was a bad idea.” Call me Cassandra bc i Keep Telling Them This Is Gonna Happen and no one ever listen to me and Too Bad. Ffs.
This is a mess of a situation. It’s making me extra anxious. 
But well that’s how it is now I guess. Sighs.
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geejaysmith · 5 years
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Kat and I have amazing conversations sometimes and I felt they had to be shared. Also, alienfuckers, dad jokes, Maxwell’s alternative lifestyle and other headcanons, and Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition. Full transcript under the cut.
Gill [Yesterday at 6:05 PM]: On an Unrelated topic: after the finale the crew remembers "OH YEAH, EIFFEL ACTUALLY HAD A FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION WITH ALIENS" and now in addition to all the other reasons to want him to Remember they're really freakin' curious to know how that went
Kat [Yesterday at 6:11 PM]: Minkowski: so what did they look like Eiffel: me (They do seem to like his body, they had a few models to choose from when talking to Cutter.)
Gill [Yesterday at 6:13 PM]: Eiffel, probably: at least the aliens think I'm cool I know what was meant by that but your phrasing made me think "In a shocking turn of events, it is the aliens who are attracted to the human." The aliens... are alienfuckers
Kat [Yesterday at 6:17 PM]: I don't think that's their jam but that WOULD be just his luck
Gill [Yesterday at 6:18 PM]: It is unlikely, but also: it would be hilarious
Kat [Yesterday at 6:21 PM]: the aliens keep sending me mental sexts and i crave death
Gill [Yesterday at 6:22 PM]: And lo another shitpost transforms into a fanfic concept, like a humble irradiated lizard becoming Godzilla: "would you fuck your clone?"
Kat [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: leave him alone has the man not suffered enough
Gill [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: No
Kat [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: sigh
Gill [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: Dance for my amusement, Douglas And also because I earnestly suspect that in the case of Eiffel and an interested alien-consciousness-in-the-form-of-a-Xerox-copy-of-him the answer would end up being "yes"
Kat [Yesterday at 6:34 PM]: idk i feel like it'd be more like "Oh what you spend two fucking years trying to drag us into the star because you can't be assed to make an appearance but you'll teleport across the galaxy for a booty call? Fuck you and I mean that figuratively" later sluts
Gill [Yesterday at 6:36 PM]: Bob is a bad datemate Is this entire train of thought brought on by the fact I still think of the person who expressed they shipped Bob/Eiffel in the tags of the "Take your double to Disneyland" post? Perhaps
Kat [Yesterday at 6:39 PM]: i don't know that you can have this at the same time as 'what if the aliens' bodies are still the people suppressed' without it getting Fucked Up but that's your perogative I guess as long as I don't have to hear about it family can't walk w me tonight so i need to hit the treadmill for a bit. ttyl
Gill [Yesterday at 6:41 PM]: See u in a bit! But ah yes, I hadn't thought of that til you brought it up Points at one explanation of Dear Listener manifestations for some ideas, points at a different explanation for ideas that would become unintentionally Pretty Fucked Up under the first explanation Although there is comedy potential to be found in Eiffel and Eiffel-2 having the "are we down with this" conversation In the /Justin McElroy voice, "someone just discovered they have ~the world's worst fetish~" sense
Kat [Yesterday at 7:33 PM]: a different terrible concept: eiffel with his pop culture references restored will likely be called upon to testify at the united nations
Gill [Yesterday at 7:37 PM]: O h  g o d Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition
Kat [Yesterday at 7:46 PM]: i mean they're gonna have to tell the world SOMEHOW and i'd think the international court would want to know and he's the one with the subconscious recall implanted sidenote if the DL can do that mental transfer could they have just... asked them to reupload whatever their most recent scan of eiffel was there are so many ways around this that's why it failed to get much of an emotional rxn from me
Gill [Yesterday at 7:47 PM]: Minkowski and Lovelace trying to get him to practice his testimony bc if they hit enough subconscious recall triggers they can at LEAST get thru an explanation of the aliens without Eiffel going off into a tangent Once they're off the Dear Listeners' script though all bets are off
Kat [Yesterday at 7:48 PM]: here's a list of preplanned questions your honor we're not responsible if you ask anything else
Gill [Yesterday at 7:51 PM]: Eiffel, maybe: now Goddard didn't send up us there to bring home any xenomorphs but let me tell you, with the Decima project? They might as WELL have let a facehugger get up close and personal with me The translators rapidly swapping notes on late 70's sci-of cinema because a handful of them actually know what he's talking about
Kat [Yesterday at 7:54 PM]: Minkowski headdesking behind him Eiffel English isn't most of these people's first languages
Gill [Yesterday at 7:57 PM]: The news cameras are all dead-focused on Eiffel. He's hit his stride and is picking up steam. "And it was right around the time I was coughing up my liquefied respiratory system that I thought to myself, gee, I'd MUCH rather get a face of alien wing-wong than deal with this!" Minkowski is off to the side. She is visibly restraining herself. No poker face in the world can hide how hard she is longing for death. Whether it is hers or Eiffel's is a subject of contentious debate.
Kat [Yesterday at 7:58 PM]: someone at an elementary school: hey Garcia, is that your dad
Gill [Yesterday at 8:01 PM]: Anne, who was four the last time she saw her father in person, gets one look at the man weaving an intricate Star Wars metaphor out of crimes against humanity and recognizes him instantly, but signs back "I have never seen this guy before in my life."
Kat [Yesterday at 8:04 PM]: good call kiddo
============
Gill [Yesterday at 8:10 PM]: Honestly I love the concept that no matter how much Eiffel may drive them up the wall sometimes the rest of the crew would meet Anne and immediately be ready to kill a man for her sake
Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: as far as we know he's the only crewmember with kids women in the military... it wouldn't be easy even if you wanted one, which idk if any of them did
Gill [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: Wait wait, brainwave: it is actually AMAZING that Minkowski had no idea Eiffel had a child because... does he seem like the kind of guy. Who would ever resist a Dad Joke.
Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: haha fair
Gill [Yesterday at 8:16 PM]: Eiffel: Actually, I have amazing self-restraint when I choose to exercise it. (Various noises of disbelief.) Eiffel: have you ever heard me tell a dad joke? No? I rest my case
Kat [Yesterday at 8:21 PM]: biggest plot hole of the series more like it was too painful a memory but still
Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM]: If he ever patches that connection it'll open the floodgates
Kat [Yesterday at 8:26 PM]: He'll become the Maes Hughes of the gang, except with fewer war crimes
Gill [Yesterday at 8:27 PM]: ...has anyone on this crew done war crimes? SI-5 excepted of course, they have obviously done war crimes
Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: yeah SI5 is war crime central I'm not sure about some of the other stuff executing a prisoner? idk about Minkowski
Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Also my thought
Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: she wasn't a formal pow though it was an ongoing engagement I don't know the rules
Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Minkowski Has Done One (1) War Crime (Goddard Futuristics attempts to bring that against her in the court case only for Maxwell to stroll in like lol what's up gang)
Kat [Yesterday at 8:37 PM]: does Goddard in its current incarnation last long enough to sue anyone i mean i think you could sue them for attempted genocide
Gill [Yesterday at 8:38 PM]: Look I have had one semester of business law You were the one who almost went to law school Also re: other characters being parents, the only one I could see going kiiiinda either way on the subject is Lovelace and it wouldn't have been terribly high on her priority list prior to the Hephaestus mission I can see characters having the opinion that they could see Minkowski as a mom but she and her husband both strike me as understanding themselves and one another as being more career-oriented
Kat [Yesterday at 8:44 PM]: yeah if she wanted to rise in the ranks of the military... that would probably be a strike against her
Gill [Yesterday at 8:44 PM] And the implication she's got a Complex about her parents having both left promising careers to raise her Also, Lovelace: Well I always said I could see myself settling down someday, maybe have a family if I met the right person, but when I took the job with Goddard it was legally dubious whether I could actually do that- Eiffel: Because you're an alien? Eiffel: Eiffel: ...wait a sec
Kat [Yesterday at 8:54 PM]: ha It's ok to be gay in space
Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM]: Alternatively it's Hera who said that bc didn't connect those dots right away, meanwhile Eiffel saw Lovelace in a flannel shirt once and Knew Immediately Eiffel may be dumb but somehow his Bi-Fi has yet to fail him
Kat [Yesterday at 8:59 PM]: Hera doesn't grasp  human sexuality nuances
Gill [Yesterday at 9:01 PM]: Funny addition to above thought: Eiffel put together that Jacobi was gay after like three days on the Urania, was the only one on the Hephaestus crew to do so, and just never felt it was relevant to bring up Hera, my child... you have much to learn (Also, Hera, probably: I'm experimenting at the moment, I'm looking for a torrent so I can download lesbianism)
Kat [Yesterday at 9:04 PM]: I don't know which option is funnier, that Jacobi is just Really Fucking Obvious but Eiffel was the only one paying attention or that it was super subtle and everyone's like How Did You Do That lovelace's righteous fury overwhelmed her gaydar, she was too mad to go 'same hat'
Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Eiffel: I have something to confess to all of you... Jacobi: Eiffel literally not a single person on this ship is straight Eiffel: Oh I was just going to recount a PG version of my wild younger days, let's just say I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two.
Kat [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Jacobi on Earth: Just matched with myself on Grinder a-fucking-GAIN
Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM]: Jacobi: Oh I definitely picked up on it but who wants to go playing into stereotypes by speculating on what may or may not be a promiscuous history? Eiffel: Promiscuous? Look I've got notches in my belt but mostly I just ended up laying in somebody's bathtub at a house party while just conscious enough to nod along to someone else's relationship drama. Eiffel: to several sororities, I was the Gay Bathtub Wizard.
Kat [Yesterday at 9:11 PM]: Maxwell on day one of orientation: So if SI5 is paramilitary what's their stance on alternative lifestyles? Jacobi: I was recruited in a gay bar.
Gill [Yesterday at 9:12 PM]: Her asking the question has my brain going in several different directions
Kat [Yesterday at 9:13 PM]: I think she was recruited right after dadt was repealed... if obama exists in this universe fantasy obama
Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: One part of my brain: Maxwell is also gay Another part of my brain: Maxwell is exclusively attracted to nonhuman persons Yet another part of my brain, most adjacent to number #2: Maxwell voice, who in their right mind would build a robot that can't fuck? The 4th part of my brain: Maxwell wants to know how chill they'll be with her living exclusively off energy drinks and frozen yogurt for weeks at a time
Kat [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: honestly I figured whatever it was it was MUCH weirder than just being gay
Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: Maxwell: I have plans to take over the world with my army of battle bots and rule as their robot queen.
Kat [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Maxwell: wait if you were recruited in a gay bar does that mean our boss frequents those or did he just go there to get you Jacobi: Believe me the question haunts me also Jacobi: sounds great i'm in
Gill [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Or, Maxwell: I am not joking for an instant when I say that I for one welcome our alien overlords "When I was 13 I tried to get myself abducted by aliens" except it's not a joke it's an actual minor headcanon of mine Also I almost typed "adopted" rather than "abducted" which shows you why Alana would probably want to do that
Kat [Yesterday at 9:19 PM]: she did say she's on bad terms with her family
Gill [Yesterday at 9:20 PM]: She grew up a pastor's kid in a tiny rural town in Montana, hearing that they don't get along is the furthest thing from a surprise to me. The surprise is that Maxwell has a restraining order against them
Kat [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: tht implies the court found reasonable cause to issue one wack anyway i had a long day, i'm gonna call it a night
Gill [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: o/ But yeah that Maxwell empathizes with nonhumans, apparently more than with most regular humans, that makes perfect sense to me I can see her frustration with the AI Ethics board in her last job Expressing Their Concerns and her suppressing flashbacks to many a Creationist rant, and trying to keep her eye from twitching visibly, and no I am not projecting I am just coloring in blank spaces in the narrative with my relevant life experience
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