#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

[writer-panda]

Hit on the groom and what became of it - chapter 2/Take me out maybe (with a sniper rifle)

Disclaimer: I don’t own Miraculous or Batman (and other DC characters). This is just a fanfiction. 

Chapter 1  -|-  Next

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As much as Marinette disliked the meeting with the female entourage, when the time came to start working on Adrien’s suit she wanted to scream. She could clearly see that he was uncomfortable with even the gentlest touches. She did her best to make it as non-invasive to him as possible.

They had absolutely no privacy whatsoever. The Bodyguard (Gerard; His name was Gerard) and Nathalie observed their every move. Marinette was half-convinced it wasn’t her who was under watch. 

The professional atmosphere was far cry from her usual working environment. When Uncle Jagged, Clara Nightingale, or even Diana Prince came to her for clothes, it was always very informal. They would joke, gossip, or exchange stories while she worked. Now? Now she was wary of even speaking with Adrien. 

Likewise, the boy refused to meet her eyes or open his mouth. 

At some point, when she was trying to find the right shade of white for the undershirt, she noticed a make-up stain that was not there before. 

“I’m sorry, but I will need to request you remove the makeup. It is staining my materials.” She informed Nathalie and Gerard coldly. It was all she could do to resist calling the police there and there. Sadly, the commissioner was good friends with Gabriel, so it would most likely just end her career and make it worse for Adrien. 

“I was assured it would not leave stains on materials. Please accept our apologies. We will cover the costs of destroyed materials,” Nathalie informed her in an equally cold voice.

“I see…” Marinette’s lips thinned. Inside, she was screaming. But there was nothing she could do. The hit was in place. Soon Adrien would be safe. It would go without a hitch. It had to. 

As the group was leaving, she could’ve sworn the Bodyguard gave her a mournful look. As if he shared her sentiment, but was powerless to stop it. She’d know that look. She saw it in the mirror all too often.

---------

The Wedding (even the narrator started to capitalize it) came faster than Marinette wanted to accept. And there were still no words about the kidnapping. She made sure to specify that they were to take him before he was married or no payment. Did she not make the money enticing enough? Were there already attempts that were stopped without media coverage? Maybe she forgot to check some boxes?

A million scenarios ran through her head as she wandered through the alleyways.

The whole event was happening in Gotham Botanic Garden. Whatever the weak excuse was given to the press, Marinette knew the real reason: it was one of the few places in the world where Gabriel could marry his son to Lila legally without messing with courts. And bribes were said to be cheapest there. 

As the designer for both the bride and the groom, she was invited to the main ceremony. 

Lila was kind enough to even give her a seated place… right next to Chloé Bourgeois.

Marinette had a hard time deciding if it was bigger punishment to her or the mayor’s daughter. Ultimately, the two girls did their best to not look at each other during preparations. At first, that is, because the first chance she got, Chloé to drag the designer to a remote garden gazebo in a secluded corner when she was least expecting it.

“Wha-!” Marinette was about to protest, but the blonde covered her mouth. She seated her on the bench and took the seat on the opposite side. 

“I’ve been friends with Adrien since we were kids.” She announced in the usual ‘I’m-better-than-you’ tone. “I also know that you’re not always an idiot.”

“Gee! Thanks, Chloé… I’m honored with your praise.” Marinette deadpanned, interrupting the heiress. “Now get to the point”. She really hoped her dress wasn’t damaged or she might just turn to murder. 

“Fine. You worked with Adrien on his suit.” She paused, and for a moment, just a brief moment, her mask fell. That was not what Marinette expected. She has never seen Chloé so… so… The designer’s brain lacked the word to describe how her childhood bully looked like. “How is he?” The blonde asked, her voice almost trembling. 

Marinette opened her mouth, but no sound came. 

A moment passed.

“Not good.” She finally admitted. “During the measurements, he winced even at delicate touches. Plus I was called in last week to make some adjustments to his garments. He lost weight between then and now. And he wore makeup on his right arm. On both occasions.”

“Makeup?” Chloé’s eyes widened. 

“Yes. I would’ve probably missed it if I didn’t soak my fabric into makeup removed beforehand.” She thought back fondly to her brilliant idea. 

“They hurt him!?” Chloé burst out after few seconds. “I will show those… those…”

“Believe me, I share the sentiment.” Marinette nodded sagely. She needed plan B and needed it fast. There had to be something… “I slipped him a burner phone on his way out. I doubt they found it. If it gets really bad, he can try calling the police.”

“You are devious sometimes, Dupain-Cheng.” 

“Thanks. I try.” 

“So… they are coercing him into it?”

“I think so. He is resigned to his fate it seems, but he tries to show some rebelliousness. It wasn’t his father’s idea to hire me and Lila would rather walk to the altar naked than wear anything by me.” Marinette cringed. Any interaction she had with the Liar made her feel almost dirty. And forcing politeness was physically painful sometimes. 

“I got that much from the fact he hasn’t reported it yet. That burner phone was a good move, but Adrikins was always too obedient.”

“And I’m sure you had nothing to do with it,” Marinette muttered, but Chloé didn’t hear her. The heiress somehow managed to derail her rant into telling the story of her entire childhood.

Marinette listened only with one ear, filtering the information for something useful. The rest of her consciousness focused on something else. She started to seriously entertain the idea of using Miraculous to get Adrien out. She would need a combination of several powers though. Trixx was the obvious choice. Illusions would be a great asset. Maybe the Tiger, for the Power Up? If Roaar didn’t exaggerate her power, she would be able to put a distance between them and the city before anyone even realized what happened. She would need to time her illusion right though. And there were the American Heroes to watch out for…

If she didn’t use miraculous immediately, she might get a drop on the bodyguard(s) and then make an exit using Kaalki’s power when they were alone. Disable cameras, take out the guards, get in, portal out. It was feasible but still involved too many risks. If anyone connected miraculi to the operation, Ladybug would be in great trouble. She couldn’t endanger Paris like that… not even for her partner and best friend. 

Then, there was the most dangerous plan. Don’t use Miraculi at all. She was confident enough in her skills to enter undetected. Maybe even sneak out. The question was, would Adrien make it. She could sneak him Plagg’s ring. Chat Noir would have no problem leaving any prison. But… there would be the same risk as when any other Miraculi was connected and the whole point was not to use them in the first place. 

“Ugh!” She let out an angry sound that startled Chloé. 

“What’s with you, Dupain-Cheng! Don’t you see I’m opening my heart to you!?”

“Shut up, I’m trying to do something productive.” She snapped at the blonde. 

“Why, I…”

“Silence. Your tale was entirely unhelpful. Let me focus.” 

Gotham. What was in Gotham that could help her? The most corrupt city, famous for its high crime rate, mad villains, and eternal gloominess. Even now she could feel some of it resonate in the air. As if the whole city was one big Akuma. Probably no help from the establishment… The police were more likely to put a bag on her head and deliver her to one of the crime families… 

“What in Gotham can help…” She voiced her musing loudly, causing Chloé to peak up.

“Waynes!” She proclaimed. “That serial adopter would jump at the chance to get another orphan…”

“Adrien isn’t an orphan… Yet.” Marinette grumbled. “But he will be married by then, so I would need to plan a double homicide… Meh. No great loss.” She said without a shadow of care. It was like the thoughts about the murder were completely normal for her. 

Chloé shivered. “Remind me not to get into your way when you’re in that mood.”

In the distance, the orchestra was starting to play, signaling the guests that the ceremony would start soon.

“Ugh! Hawkmoth it!” Marinette raged as she ran to the clearing. She no longer had the time and if she was the only one missing, Lila would make her prime suspect for anything that happened. Blast it. She would get one more chance. Screw the career. She could survive living somewhere in Argentina if it all went to hell. 

-------

Adrien already accepted his fate. His father and Lila made sure that all avenues of further rebellion were closed. He exhausted everything there was. 

To this day, he was grateful for that burner phone from Marinette. He made sure to hide it but always have it somewhere nearby. It became a form of a lifeline for him. A one-off save-your-life ticket. It would only work in short term, but at the rate everything was going, it could potentially save his life…

He missed his life before the mess with The Wedding started. 

Hell! He even missed Plagg’s stinking cheese. He would maim for some camembert.

“Adrien,” Gerard spoke solemnly. There was no need for more words. They both knew what was about to happen and Adrien took just a bit of solace in the fact that he was not entirely alone, even if no one could help him. 

“I’m ready.” He spoke, barely above a whisper.

Before he realized it, the ceremony was undergoing. Lila, in her stunning dress, held the attention on herself like a pro. No one even thought about looking anywhere but at them. The dress was similarly just so… Lila. It made all of her features all the more proponent. Yet, there was just a small, barely noticeable, stitch that said Marinette. A smile ghosted his face. There was some good out of this. He managed to make his friend famous. After today, no one would deny her style. 

“Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The marriage officiant spoke. Adrien didn’t even care what convention the wedding was in. 

The silence swept across the garden. 

No one dared to even breathe loudly.

Adrien lowered his head. Here, the last…

There was a rustle somewhere close to the front. He looked up, a small glimmer of hope appeared in his eyes. 

Marinette was standing there, her backs straightened and one finger held up. “I…”

She felt the gaze of hundreds of guests on her. They were the most influential people in the world of modern business. Waynes. Luthor. Queen. Burgeiose. Agreste… And they all kept staring at her. 

She tried to swipe the hall with a glance, but something attracted her attention. A glint of light somewhere in the distance.

“Watch out!” She shouted, tossing a chair she was sitting on just a moment ago. 

The metal item sailed through the air until it crashed in the middle of the alley.

With an arrow sticking out of it.

For a second (which felt much longer) everyone stared at it.

Then the mass panic started. People got out of their chairs and started trying to get out of there. They trampled one another as each considered themselves to be the most important, hence first to evacuate. It was chaos.

Among the mass of people, Marinette tried her best to make it to the altar. She saw that Gerard and several other hired bodyguards were of similar minds. 

She managed to squeeze through the crowd the fastest, only to find Lila knocked out and Adrien and the Officiant missing. Adrien’s cousin (best man) and Alya (bridesmaid) were both nowhere to be found. They probably ran away. There was still no trace of the Groom. That is until she saw a giant mass of brown mud dragging the boy away. 

The sad thing? Adrien wasn’t really protesting much. 

Gerard was the next to make it through. He noticed Adrien a tad quicker and tried to chase whoever it was that tried to kidnap Adrien, but a fist made of mud slammed into him, sending him flying away. 

“Holy Hawkmoth!” Marinette cursed once more. Okay, so far, it was only a curse for her, but he deserved it. 

In the distance, police sirens could’ve been heard, but with how fast the mud was escaping, Adrien would be long gone before the police arrived. Marinette had to do something.

Wait… Why am I trying to stop the kidnapping I ordered? She suddenly questioned herself, freezing in place. 

Two guards rushed past her and started firing at the mass, but the bullets seemed to be about as effective as Parisian police when dealing with Akuma. 

The last Marinette saw of Adrien he was being taken into the sewers.

-----------

After the police arrived, Marinette was of course first to be interrogated. (“Gee… Thanks, Lila”). They wanted to know how she noticed the arrow, did she see the attacker, how did the kidnapper looked like, and dozens of other questions. By the end, she was exhausted. Somewhere after the sixth question, her phone pinged. Luckily, the police didn’t bother with checking it and believed that it was just a worried friend. 

Not the kidnapper trying to contact their employer.

Finally, after the police released her and informed her that no further information was needed, she could contact her Maman.

“Sweety? Are you okay? I’ve seen the news!” Was the first thing that came through

“Yeah. Don’t worry. I’m perfectly fine. The police held me back for questioning a bit. I’m going back to the hotel and be back in Paris first flight tomorrow, okay?”

“Stay in Gotham! I’m coming to pick you up!” Her mother informed her.

“Wha-!? But there is no need! Seriously Maman! There’s no need to trouble yourself.”

There was a silence on the line for a moment and Marinette could feel that her mother was trying to glare at her through the phone. It worked. 

“Fine… I’m at Wayne Plaza, room 30-14.” She relented, not wanting any more arguments. She would still have several hours to sort the mess with Adrien. What could possibly go wrong?

Trying her best to be careful, Marinette left the site of crime and traveled to the industrial district. The taxi driver couldn’t be bothered less about why she wanted to go there. He just wanted to get paid and leave. 

The only-slightly-creepy aura of the completely silent area full of factories and warehouses served as a perfect background to contacting the kidnapper. Marinette, after making sure she was truly alone, activated the voice-scrambling app on her burner and dialed the number that sent her the text about successful work. Her Maman showed her that, thinking she wanted it for a prank. Or that’s how Marinette presented it anyway.

“Who is this?!” A voice on the other side of the call asked.

Marinette took a deep breath before answering. “I was led to believe you have what I wanted.” She tried her best to channel Chloé into her voice. 

“Ah… Yes… There’s been a… complication.”

“What do you mean ‘complication’?” She hissed into the phone call. 

“Um… I had the package… But then someone stole the stolen package…” Whoever that was informed her. 

“Who?” She demanded. 

“Last I checked, Lawton was the one who had ‘im… But it might’ve changed. But don’t worry, Boss… lady?” They asked. Marinette didn’t give either confirmation or scolding, so they continued. “I’m still in the game.” With that, they hang up. 

“What did I just get myself into…” She moaned. Then, the realization hit her. “What did I just get Adrien into…”

Elsewhere, Adrien was starring into a pair of curious sea-green eyes. 

----------------

[marie-lamb-b]

The Ink DeMonth. Day 3: Stuck.

Keep your keys at hand…

I know I’m delayed, but I’m still into it until I say so! (And it won’t be soon~)

Alright, taking again these two goofs, I decided to put a bit of pepper (and vinegar and onions and blood and tears) and make a thing a tad angsty. I really enjoyed writing Sammy’s part and his growing suspicions, as oblivious as I think he is he can really get things aside for what he cares~

Tumblr Version under the cut!

(Tag Warnings: Claustrophobia, Religious content)

6.30 PM and most of the JDS employees already left the building. Only the workaholics, the ones that had no sense of time whatsoever, and those in charge of making sure everything’s left shut and closed were the only ones remaining. And between that bunch was Wally Franks.

As the time settled it, now he was holding his closet’s door open while he was checking his last chores in the list. Assuring everything was in order; tools in store, keys at hand –well, actually hanging from the knob but he still was using them to lose them so quickly. Yep, everything in order. Now he just needed to take out his notepad, cross it out from the list and check what else he needed to do before leaving… if only it weren’t for that ludicrous new system installed that made the doors to close shut whenever they were left open. That’s why Wally had to keep it held open.

“Wally, my boy!” Joey came from behind greeting the young janitor.

“Yes Mr. Drew, sir?” He answered peeking his head from over his shoulder.

“I trust you’ll leave everything as pristine as a fine china cup before leaving, won’t you.”

“Absolutely, sir.” He turned around to face him

“And don’t forget to–”

“–Shut off the lights, the heater and the front door locked close.” He completed his sentence as he reached with his free hand to the notepad. “Everythin’ in check to be done as soon as I can.” He assured to his boss.

“Excellent! Then I have nothing to worry about.”

“No, sir. Everythin’ll be a-ok, sir!” He stood straight and saluted him, unaware of releasing he door and it stumbling against him as it started to close itself. “Ouch! Sir, Mr. Drew, can I ask ye something?” He waited for a permissive nod to continue. “I get it that most of the fellas in here agreed about these doors closin’ alone, but we had to put that thing in every door?” He shoved away the door of his own closet to emphasize, with a large pleading look.

“Sorry, my boy. But this measure was taken to improve the productivity of all my crew. And you know I need them to be happy so they work hard.”

“I get it, boss.” He sighed in defeat.

“Good. Now, please don’t forget to add to that list of yours send Sammy to his home. I don’t wanna have him passed out in the break room couch again and have a grumpy music director all day tomorrow.” He requested as he pointed the musician right behind the glass of his office, slouched over his desk and quite probably muttering something.

“Send Mr. Lawrence to home…” He picked up a pen and started to scribble in his notepad, all the while he left the door loose and stumped once again against him and releasing a huff over it. “Right above shuttin’ the heater. Got it sir!”

“Very well, Wally. See ya tomorrow!” He saluted as he walked away, and the janitor granted him goodbye as well.

Alright, time to keep moving. Next thing on list: Sammy’s last cup of his special coffee. It didn’t matter whether Joey have requested it or not; it became an agreement between them two that this very last cup was Sammy’s cue to leave as soon as he emptied it. That, if he wanted Wally to keep preparing that coffee as he liked –with all that little pantry that the janitor fixed inside his closet only for him. Why Wally didn’t ask something more in return of that special treat, he didn’t know but couldn’t care less; all that worried the young janitor was the wellbeing of the oblivious music man and this guaranteed at least a proper night of rest for him.

But if he wanted to prepare his ‘specialty’, he needed to reach the hidden spot over the shelves where he built that secret pantry, and would need both arms to do it. So he glanced to the door, thinking –and quite wishing– for the door to not close as he was on the task. And resolving to hold it open, at least a sliver, he leaned his foot to support it, all the while he stretched to reach in the upper shelf.

Tapping with his bare digits, he came close to almost everything he needed. He got a clean mug, a tiny bag with bean-like stuffing –a coffee portion just for 1–, sugar, sugar, sugar… he found the shaker! Now only left the tiny cup of cream… that thing always rolled further back…

He stretched a tad more, only his middle and ring fingers used as some sort of tongs to try and reach behind. The door was barely hold by the toes of his foot as he tried to get upper. C’mon, c’mon… where’s the cream…? He could feel the little container but was simply out of reach.

He recoiled and stood firmly, crouching a little. Maybe a little quick hop would help. A glance behind; the door was still open and his foot holding it quite well. Alright, he prepared.

1… 2… 3!

A hop. A successful reach! A landing with both his feet.

“Yes!” He cheered way too quickly, as soon he heard the squeak of the hinges and the door slammed closed.

He turned his head back as soon as he heard the shutting door and the darkness consumed every single corner of the space. No light was inside the tiny closet except by the thin sliver that came from below the door’s frame.

“Ok. Ok, just– just calm down, Wally.” He tried to reassure himself as he slowly turned as he could to face the door. “You– you need to… need to use your keys! That’s it!”

Although that spark of hope rapidly faded, as he started to pat around himself, looking where could have put those –again. His patting turned into slapping, and within second his breaths also turned more and more raged. He just had those damn things! He used them to open…! To open the door…

…He left his keys hanging from the door’s knob…

…Oh, no…

Realization hit him like a truck and he barely felt his breathing hitching. His mouth turned into a dreadful wobbling smile as he tried way too hard to not fall in panic.

“Heh… he heh… Alright, this– this is– is– is not so bad! I– I just havetta– to– Sammy will notice I ha– haven’t shown yet! …Yeah! He– he’ll notice me. Right?”

…

“…Right…?”

He kept reassuring himself, feeling each hammering second like excruciatingly. Ignoring the rivulets of tears forming and descending from his eyes, clutching painfully his chest with his nails dug in just where his rosary was hanging and his pocket bible was kept.

He just had to wait and soon he’d be out, right…?

He focused on his breaths; he focused on his surroundings. He closed his eyes, as he rather be in a known darkness before than the one from his very own closet. He heard the pipes flowing, the outside lights buzzing, a voice… singing?

Oh God, no…!

Sammy. Sammy’s voice. Sammy was singing. Sammy was vocalizing out loud and way too into his own mind!

This was bad.

This was bad.

This was bad. This was bad. This was bad. This was bad. This was bad. This was bad. ThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbadThiswasbad!!!!!

“SAMMY!!! SAMMY!!!” Wally started to shout as loud as his panicked voice allowed. He started to bang the door as well, but with how narrow the space was, he couldn’t swing his arm without hitting it with the shelves behind. He didn’t mind. He needed to get his attention somehow. He had to notice him. Anyone had to! “SAMMY!! SAMMY, HELP!! ANYONE!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!”

Nobody.

The only thing he was able to hear was Sammy, still singing, and his very own crying.

He turned again, back facing the door and leaned there, trying to slide down, ever so slowly, bending his knees so he could fit sitting even if he had to press against the shelves. All as he kept crying, distressed, and painfully gripping his chest.

No one heard him. Sammy didn’t hear him.

He let a wild and grieving wail to escape his throat, in hopes to be heard and rescued, but aside of not being heard at all, it only helped to harm his own cords as he kept crying.

And as tired and hurt he was, as hoarse his throat was, as burnt his cheeks were, only one thing he could thing to ever do, even if the desperation consumed him.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” [Psalm, 56:3]

“Our Father, Who art in Heaven.” He started to pray as he picked out his rosary. “Hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread…”

And he kept praying, faith into that at least his prays would be heard.

*-*-*-*-*

Sammy was singing. He needed to do so. He had to vocalize out loud what he was composing in order to assure his work was spotless. For whenever he noticed a single mistake, call it a misplaced note or wrong length, it would lead into a little fit of rage against himself, muttering profanities only audible for those in the range of, let’s say, the whole hall until reaching the infirmary’s entrance. It would be followed by him tearing apart or crumpling the music sheet, just like he was doing right then. Sure, he could cross out the wrong part, fix it, and then he could transcript what was already done in a new page, but usually that was not his style; was something that Wally has been trying to help him with.

Talking about, where was he anyways? Normally he would appear right before he started to tear the sheet and help him breathing and cooling down his mood…

Huh, probably was down in the toy factory or something…

Sammy took seat and clenched his head, an ache about to grow. Ugh, he needed his coffee.

He picked up his mug and held it against his lips, only to notice that it was empty. That’s weird. Did he already drink his coffee? But he can’t even remember… He clicked his tongue, trying to catch any lingering flavor; nothing.

Wally didn’t refill his coffee?

Now that he thought about as he rubbed his neck, he didn’t even remember his usual kiss when he warned about ‘the last cup and then at home’.

Where’s Wally…?

“WALLY?” He called out loud. Nothing.

He stood up, ready to leave his office and a dreadful feeling tingling all over his chest. He opened the door and peeked out, moving, each step ever so slowly and eyes darting in every single direction.

“FRANKS?” He called out again. Still nothing.

The tingling expanded, taking place now along his arms and until the very tip of his fingers. He started to flex them, ready to attack if something ever got to happen and he needed to act rather quickly.

“C’mon, Wally, where are you?” He muttered, picking on every single buzz around him; the pipes dripping, the boards creaking, the door… sobbing and mumbling?

He shot his gaze towards the janitor’s closet, closed and keys dangling of the knob itself. With slow steps, as delicate as a deer peeking through the woods, he approached to the door. Fearfully tender, he leaned both his hands and an ear pressed against the door, focused, listening.

“…blessed are you among women…” A hoarse voice prayed, sobbing in between. “…And blessed is the fruit of your womb.” Sammy’s eyes widened in realization; it was Wally.

“Oh, God. Wally!” He claimed although voiceless.

He hurried up, picking the keys and turning them albeit clumsily due the desperation. He managed to open it widely, and Wally stumbled back, just in the part about praying for the sinners which was cut off by the huff he released when hitting his back against the floor.

Eyes shut tightly at first, Wally slowly opened them, hit by the lights as he already was customized to the darkness of his closet. First thing on sight was a blurry, backlighted silhouette above him, and seemed to be panting. And although he got used to the light out there, the shape was still blurry; his eyes were too tired and swollen to focus properly.

“Oh, God. Wally, are you okay?!” His voice –Sammy’s voice!– exclaimed with so much concern and anguish. And he couldn’t hold it any longer.

As if there was still water in him to freely pour, Wally started to cry out loud again. And Sammy crouched, lowering to his level so he was able to hold the upset young man between his arms.

“Shh… It’s okay, Wally. I’m here.” Sammy soothed, stroking his hair and holding him close to his chest, as much as to comfort him as to contain himself. “I’m here.” He repeated, burying his face in his neck and muffling a tad his consolations. “I’m here. It’s okay now. I’m here…”

Three and a half loops of his rosary was what it took Wally to be found. But it didn’t matter now, for his prays were heard and now he was out in the arms of the only one he really cared of.

[asgardian-goddess-of-writing]

A Couple of Idiots In Love

Square Filled (MCU Kink Bingo): Trope: ABO: Unexpected Heat Square Filled (MCU Fluff Bingo): ABO Ship: Iron Wolf (Tony x Bucky) Rating: Explicit  Warnings: Adult Language and Content, Smut Tags: MCU Kink Bingo, Marvel Fluff Bingo, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Heat Sex, Knotting, Alpha Bucky, Omega Tony, Multiple Orgasms, Biting

Summary: It’s been a week since the mission-gone-wrong and with all that had happened, a certain Omega forgot about his suppressants.

Word Count: 4407

Written for: @mcukinkbingo @marvelfluffbingo

A/N: Okay, so this was supposed to be posted a while ago but it just didn’t happen. But here it is now and the rest of the fics in this series (unless stated otherwise) will still be for me bingos but the MCU Kink Bingo ends on the 30th so I don’t think I will be able to tag it as such but I’m still doing fills for the cards. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy this and please let me know what you think of this part!

Masterlist | IronWolf Series (AO3 Link)

This is part of a series and you’ll need to read the previous part for this one to make sense.

(The above gifs aren’t mine. Credit to @fywinteriron.)

Ugh, damn it…, Tony thought as he woke up, the covers twisted around his legs, a layer of sweat covering his body, and an unmistakable wet spot underneath his ass. He had forgotten about his upcoming heat after all the shit that went down during and after the most recent mission and now… Now, nothing he took or did would stop his heat and he was stuck in the Avengers Compound with multiple Alphas. Not that he was afraid they’d try anything, he knew they wouldn’t, but he’s been on suppressants since after he had his first heat. He hasn’t had another heat since… until now. Tony groaned as a wave of heat went through him, curling in on himself before he was forced by the heat to uncurl. “Fuck…”

Tony slowly turned his head to look at his clock, seeing that it was two in the morning. His head falls back as he whimpers in discomfort and need as another wave of heat went through him. Tony desperately wanted to touch his hard cock but he knew it would only make him needier with no relief.

“Sir… Would you like me to get someone,” FRIDAY asked, sounding very sincere despite being an A.I.

“There’s no one to get, FRIDAY,” Tony snaps back, squeezing his eyes shut, hoping this was all a nightmare but then another, more powerful, wave of need goes through him. “Oh god… I’m fine, FRIDAY.”

“You’re not. I can get Steve-“

“No! God no. I don’t want him, or anyone else, seeing me like this. Just drop it.”

“What about Wanda? She’s an Omega too, she could at least comfort you,” FRIDAY asks, most definitely not dropping it.

“What is it about ‘anyone else’ that confuses you. I’ll have to take care of that after this passes,” Tony snarks before groaning at the need that seems to never calm down. He grimaces as he feels more slick pour out of him. “Ugh, this sucks.”

“It wouldn’t if you had someone to help you through it,” FRIDAY says offhandedly.

“Well, I don’t!” Tony glares up at the ceiling despite knowing he couldn’t actually see FRIDAY.

“You have Bucky,” FRIDAY mentions, continuing after Tony scoffs at her response. “Just hear me out. Actually, hear him out.”

A moment later, Tony hears the sound of his team talking.

“Bucky, you can set him in a chair, you kn-” Steve tried saying before being cut off by Bucky’s deep growl.

“If any of you wake him, I wi-” Bucky starts before being cut off by Natasha.

“-Will kill all of us in our sleep, we know, James. You’ve told us ten times since we found you two in the back room,” Natasha finishes.

“Bucky and Tony sitting in a tree,” Clint starts singing quietly, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

“Clint,” Bucky warns, “Did you not hear my threat?”

“First comes love,” Natasha sing-songs.

“Then comes marriage,” Wanda joins in.

“Then comes a baby in a baby carriage,” Sam finishes.

Tony shakes his head and rolls his eyes at his teammates, hearing a chuckle from Steve and Bruce from the recording.

Bucky sighs, “I hate all of you.”

“And love him,” Steve comments, making everyone, minus Bucky, gasp and struggle to hold in their startled laughter.

Tony blushes at Steve’s comment before blushing even harder from the increasing laughter, assuming it was from Bucky’s reaction. There’s absolutely no way… Tony lets out a whimper as it feels like his heat was getting stronger, waves of need coming closer together than before.

Tony listens closely and hears himself murmur, “Stop moving.”

“What are you glaring at us for? You’re the one that was moving,” Bruce mutters snarkily.

Tony’s eyebrows raise at that comment, not knowing his expression matched his teammates.

Bucky just gives a defensive growl.

“I knew this would happen. I’ve read too many fanfics to know that this was gonna happen,” Clint tells the team, causing all of them to shake their heads and groan quietly.

“You got issues, dude,” Sam mutters.

“Too many to count.” Natasha nods.

“So, do you believe that you have Bucky now?” FRIDAY shuts the recording off.

“That means nothing, FRIDAY. Steve was just messing with him and- oh fuck…” Tony denies before being cut off as more slick leaks from him and a wave of need that seems to just keep coming and coming. “Fuck, ugh, make- make it stop!”

“Tony,” a quiet voice comes from the door, as well as a light knock. It was Steve. “Are you okay?”

Tony’s head snaps towards the door before he quickly pulls the blanket over him, breathing hard as he tries to keep himself quiet. “I’m- I’m fine, Steve! Go back to bed.”

“I know you’re no- Oh… You’re in heat…” Steve catches a whiff of the heat pheromones leaking through the crack under the door. “Do you want me to get Wanda or one of the Betas?”

“No, I’m fi- oh fuck… I’m fine.” Tony’s eyes start to water from the embarrassment of letting someone hear him like this. Tony was desperately fighting not to just scream for Steve to come in and knot him but it was getting harder and harder to not do it the longer he talked to Steve. “Steve, please just- just go back to bed.”

“No, I’m not going to let you suffer like this. Do you…” Tony heard a thump from the door as Steve let his fall forward to lean on the door. “Do you have anything to help you through it?”

Tony blushed hard at the mortification that went through him at that question. He squeezed his eyes shut as he answered, “N- No… But I-“

“If you say you’re fine one more time, Tony, I’m gonna personally smack you upside the head after this is over,” Steve threatens, shaking his head at Tony’s stubbornness. He’s quiet for several moments before he speaks up again. “What about Bucky?”

Tony’s blood runs hot at the thought of the metal-armed Alpha. He gulps audibly before asking, “What about him?”

Steve lets out a small growl, “You know what, Tony. I know that mission caused some feelings about him in you. He can help you through this, Omega.”

Tony whimpers at the title and the thought of Bucky fucking him hard into the mattress before knotting him. “No, he can’t. He doesn’t- He doesn’t think of me like that, Steve.”

Steve’s silent for a good thirty seconds before he speaks, “FRIDAY just told me she let you hear what happened in the jet while you were asleep and Tony… When I said Bucky loved you, I meant it.” Tony was pretty sure his heart stopped at that, his breathing quickening, and not just because of his heat. “He was absolutely terrified when Limerick took you. He was freaking out and I… I could see tears in his eyes, Tony, at the thought of something happening to you and it being his fault. I told him it wasn’t his fault but I don’t think he really believes it. Tony, he loves you, more than you know.”

Tears fell from Tony’s eyes at Steve’s words before he groaned in almost-pain from his heat flaring up. Before he could say something, anything, to Steve, he heard another voice on the other side of the door. It was too quiet and he couldn’t hear who it was or what they were saying, especially not in his current state. Tony gasped as he heard a deep growl, slick pouring out of him again in preparation for… nothing to Tony’s knowledge. He hears some more talking before footsteps getting quieter as someone walked away.

Tony freezes as he hears another quiet knock on the door and the voice of someone he desperately wanted to hear, “Tony?” Bucky…

Tony stays quiet as he has no idea whatsoever as to what to say to the Alpha, hoping the silence would just make him go away. Tony doesn’t always get what he wants; or does he?

Bucky slowly turns the knob before stepping just inside the door and closing it. Tony barely holds in a whimper at the Alpha pheromones that were suddenly in the room, mixing with his own Omega-in-heat ones.

“All you have to say is ‘no’ if you want me to leave. But if any part of you wants me to stay, I will,” are Bucky’s words, his tone completely calm and reserved despite the hungry look Tony could feel on him.

Tony thinks for a moment, about Steve’s words, about the recording, about his own feelings towards Bucky and comes to a conclusion. “Please stay,” Tony whines, reaching out a hand towards Bucky’s direction.

Bucky rushed towards the bed, climbing on top of it and over Tony before leaning his head down to scent the Omega, letting out a deep, guttural growl at the absolutely delicious smell. Tony whimpers at the growl, completely frozen in place. And that makes Bucky slow down and rein his Alpha in to check on Tony, asking what was wrong and if he did something wrong.

“No, no… This sounds so tacky but it’s not you, it’s me. I… I’ve, you know, never really been with an Alpha while in heat or ever, actually. And I haven’t had my heat since I first presented so…” Tony didn’t, couldn’t, meet Bucky’s gaze and decided to look anywhere but up at the concerned Alpha.

But Bucky wasn’t having that. Bucky moved his head directly in front of Tony’s face, giving the other man no choice but to look into his eyes. After a moment or two of eye contact, Bucky slowly leaned down to very gently place his lips upon Tony’s, focusing on pouring all of his love into the kiss. Tony gave a quiet moan and practically swooned at having those very soft lips on his again, his nerves calming down, letting himself relax into the kiss. Bucky pulled back far too soon for Tony, bringing a whine from the Omega before he stilled at the flesh hand that came up to cradle his face.

“Tony… I know that you probably already know this but I’m gonna say it anyway. I love you, Tony Stark. And I swear to never hurt you as long as you’re my Omega. ‘Cause I’m tired of hurting the people I love and I’ve already hurt you enough and-”

“Stop. First of all, how dare you give me those feels with that ‘I’m tired of hurting the people I love’ sentence you just said? Second of all, yes, you did hurt me but you weren’t you back then in ‘91. I don’t care what you say, that wasn’t you. And in Siberia, I-” Tony’s voice starts to waver and tears start to pool in his eyes, “I probably would’ve killed you if Steve hadn't stopped me… But I’m glad he did because I was so wrong and I don’t think I could’ve lived with myself if I had- had killed you. Bucky, I’m so, so, so sorry for- for all the shit I’ve done to you. I-” The tears finally fell down Tony’s face as he squeezed his eyes shut, unable to look at Bucky.

“Open, your eyes, Tony. Please. Look at me!” Tony eyes snapped open at not just the power, but the desperation in Bucky’s voice. He almost shut them again at seeing the sadness in Bucky’s eyes. “Tony, you were in the wrong in Siberia but you had just found out who killed your parents. And I’m not gonna lie but if I was in your shoes, I probably would’ve reacted the same way. I accept your apology, Tony.” Bucky brought his flesh hand up to wipe the tears on Tony’s face away as he finished before giving a small, remorseful, but still really adorable, smile. “Sorry for giving you feels…”

Tony’s face broke into a grin before he chuckled and moved his face up to kiss Bucky. A moment later he pulled back to speak, “You didn’t let me finish. Third of all, I love you too.”

Bucky’s face lit up as he grinned and he did the same as Tony and bent down to kiss his Omega, both of them grinning like idiots. They continued to kiss for a few more moments before the forgotten reason as to why they were in bed together decided to make itself known. Tony gasped into the kiss as a wave of need went up his spine before he grimaced as slick poured out of him.

“Ugh, damn it. I hate this so goddamn much,” Tony whined, writhing around as it felt like his skin was on fire.

Smirking, Bucky leaned down to Tony’s ear to whisper, “Then I’ll make you be wishing you were in heat all the time,” as he scented the Omega before he sat up to pull his shirt off, tossing it somewhere in the room. He was about to go for Tony’s tank too before he saw the look on Tony’s face. Tony was practically drooling as he let his eyes wander all over the revealed skin and the sheer muscle in front of him. Beefy Bucky indeed…

“You like what you see, Omega,” Bucky asked with a very smug look on his face, looking down at Tony.

Tony shivered at the look and term, trying not to let Bucky see how much he was affecting him but it was getting harder every second, along with something else… “Oh shut up.”

Bucky just smirked before he tugged at Tony’s shirt, asking permission with his eyes and, after a consenting nod from Tony, began to take the soaked tank top off of Tony. As his heat started to build again, Tony became impatient and started to take his ruined boxers off after his shirt was off. “Those pants need to come off, now.”

“Pushy,” Bucky muttered as he moved from on top of Tony to take his sleep pants off, internally groaning as his semi-hard cock was released. Fuck…

If Tony wasn’t drooling before, he sure as hell was now at the sight of Bucky’s long, thick, Alpha cock. “Bucky, please. I need you so bad. I- I need-”

“Shh, shh… I’m right here, Tony,” Bucky hushed as he climbed onto the bed and over Tony. He placed a kiss on Tony’s lips, then his nose, then his neck before whispering in Tony’s ear. “I don’t think I’ll go too far but I want us to have a safeword just in case.”

Tony thought for a moment before, with a answering the not-quite-question, “Shawarma,” with a shit-eating grin on his face. He full out laughs as Bucky groans in exasperation.

“Tony… Are you serious? You’re serious aren’t you?”

“Completely. Now, let’s get this show on the road,” Tony answers, still smirking at the exasperated Alpha.

After a sigh, Bucky started to move downward. “You know, I’d rather take this slow, with this being your first time with an Alpha in heat and our first time together but it seems as if I’ll be waiting until later for that, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Less talking, more fucking,” Tony muttered, feeling impossibly hotter and needier than before, pressing his hips up to grind against Bucky’s rock hard abs. That sets Bucky into motion.

Bucky growled as he pressed his metal hand down on Tony’s hips to pin him down with some force but carefully to not injure him before he moved lower to lift Tony’s left leg up some and biting his thigh, close to breaking the skin. Tony cried out at the pain, his hips would’ve jerked if Bucky’s hand wasn’t there. “Who, exactly, is the Alpha here, Tony? Is it you, or is it me?”

“You! Bucky, it’s you! You’re my Alpha!” Tony feels his face heat up and damns his Omega side of him at his words and the desperation in his voice.

Bucky stops for a moment at Tony saying that he was his Alpha, a small smile forming on his lips before he gets serious again. “And you’re my Omega and that means that there is one person calling the shots here. Who is that one person?”

“You are, Alpha! I’m sorry! Just please- please fuck me!”

“Well, you did ask nicely. Keep your leg there,” Bucky orders before he moves his flesh hand down towards Tony’s leaking, slicked up hole to rest a finger at the entrance. After a few moments of Tony not moving to take control, Bucky slowly pressed his finger into Tony, groaning lowly at the hot, tight walls around his finger. “God… You’re so hot and tight, Tony. Can’t wait to have you spread wide open on my cock.”

Tony whines and refrains from moving his hips, instead gripping the sheets with one hand, the other buried in Bucky’s hair, tugging softly. Bucky groans at the tugging as he continues to stretch Tony, soon adding another finger with slick making it easier. He began to scissor his fingers before he moved his head forward to take the head of Tony’s cock in his mouth, licking and sucking. Tony gasped at the sensations, his back arching up in a perfect curve. “Alpha, please! Please! I need you in me so bad! Fuck me please! Ah!”

Bucky smirked as he brushed a certain bundle of nerves, swiping over it again and again in time with his licks. “I want you to cum at least once on my fingers before I fuck you. You’ll do that for me, won’t you?”

“I- I can’t! Ah, I need your cock, Alpha, please,” Tony pleads, throwing his head back, ready to scream from all of the sensations rushing through him. He could feel himself starting to get close but he’d never been able to cum in heat without a cock in him.

“You can, I know you can, Tony.” Bucky slides a third finger in slowly, thrusting his fingers in a slow pace that was starting to increase in speed.

Tony whimpers at the added finger, the slight stretch feeling so good and adding to the myriad of sensations going through him. As the pace quickens, Tony pulls on Bucky’s hair when those fingers pass over his prostate, hoping it’ll get Bucky to give in and just fuck him already. Bucky just made his own sounds, groaning and growling at the tugs but kept his increasing pace going. Tony squeezes his eyes shut in agonizing bliss as he keeps getting closer to his orgasm but it’s just out of reach, so close to using the safeword before something that’s never happened before happened.

Tony squeezed his eyes shut and practically screamed as his orgasm finally crashed into him, his back arching beautifully. Bucky smiled as he watched Tony make one of the most beautiful facial expressions he’d ever seen anyone make as he continued to fuck the Omega with his fingers, prolonging his orgasm. As Tony came down from his high, he began to whine as Bucky’s fingers moving became too much but not enough at the same time.

“Bucky… St- Stop, please. Too much… Ah!” Tony writhed and tried moving his hips away from the Alpha’s fingers but it was no use. “Please- Please stop!”

Bucky then took pity on him and slowly slid his fingers out, placing one of them into his mouth and moaning lowly at the taste. He then moved up to lick Tony’s cum that landed on his abdomen, taking some upon a still slicked-up finger and moving up to become face-to-face with Tony.

Bucky placed a gentle kiss on Tony’s lips before placing the finger with Tony’s slick and cum on it on Tony’s bottom lip. “Suck,” was all he said before pushing the finger farther into Tony’s mouth.

Tony immediately did what he was told, his cheeks reddening in slight shame at liking the taste of himself. He continued to suck and swirl his tongue around the one finger until Bucky slowly slid it out, and unknowingly taking himself in hand to position himself.

“You ready for this?” Bucky looked deep into Tony’s brown eyes, looking for any uncertainty in what they were doing and about to do but he only saw lust and love and need.

Tony nodded, “More than ready,” and lifted up to place a kiss on Bucky’s lips.

Bucky smiles a little before he slowly moves his hips forward, the head of his cock pressing against Tony’s slick hole before it pops in, invoking a choked off moan from Tony and a groan from the Alpha. Bucky pressed farther at the same pace before stopping when he was halfway in after hearing a sharp intake of breath from the man below him.

“I’m- I’m okay, I’m okay… God, you’re big. Just, uh, give me a second to… adjust,” Tony answered the unasked question.

Bucky took a breath before letting it out in a sigh of relief. “Whatever you need, doll. Take your time.”

Tony takes him up on that offer for another couple of minutes before he nods, “Okay. I’m good. Gimme whatcha got, Alpha.”

“Always goin’ headfirst into everythin’,” Bucky mutters before pressing his hips forward, feeding Tony more of his cock.

“Ass first in this—ah—-case,” Tony snarks, groaning as he continues getting filled, glad that Bucky took so long to prepare him. Bucky lets out a groan as he finally bottoms out the same time Tony moans loudly, breathing hard with exertion.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Bucky rasped, his face lax and eyes open in slits.

“Fuck, you’re huge,” Tony mirrored, moaning in pleasure. “God, I feel so full. Also, I’m ready to be fucked any time so whenever you’re ready…”

After taking a breath, Bucky slid his hips back slowly before pressing back in at the same pace. Tony moaned at the feeling but it wasn’t enough.

“Uh, so this is great, it really is, but I said that I was ready to get fucked so… You wanna kick it up a notch or two, Bucky,” Tony asked, slightly desperate as, even though feeling Bucky inside of him felt amazing, it wasn’t enough.

Bucky looked at him with a raised eyebrow before he left his cock right at Tony’s slightly gaping hole, not moving whatsoever. Right before Tony was going to start whining at the lack of movement, Bucky thrust his hips down, driving his cock deep into the sex-driven Omega’s ass before repeating the action over and over again in a hard, fast pace. “That enough notches?”

Tony couldn’t answer and just cried out in pleasure at the sudden change in pace and the feeling of the Alpha’s thick cock swiping over his prostate every few thrusts. Bucky smirked a little as he kept his pace hard and fast before he leaned down to kiss and lick at Tony’s neck.

After more than a few marks littered Tony’s neck, Bucky felt the familiar heat in his groin, causing him to begin to look over Tony’s neck for a good spot to place his claim on the Omega. Finding a good place at the place where Tony’s neck meets his shoulder, Bucky began to drag his teeth and lick that very spot.

“Mm… You feel so damn good, Omega. You know I’m gonna do when I knot you? I’m gonna bite you right,” Bucky pauses to place a soft bite at the place he chose, “here. It’s gonna show no matter what so that everyone knows that you’re mine. You do want to be mine, don’t you?”

Tony moans loudly at Bucky’s words before snarking, “I’m pretty sure I’m yours after this, don’t ya think?”

Bucky bites down harder, not enough to break skin, at Tony’s comment before growling out, “Answer. My question.”

Tony lets out a whine, nodding his head before answering with a cry, “Yes! Make me yours, Bucky! Make me your Omega! Ah! So- So close! Alpha please!”

“You’re mine. Cum for me, Omega,” Bucky growled in Tony’s ear, feeling himself get closer and closer to his orgasm.

Another loud, beautiful scream came from Tony as those words were all he needed to reach his orgasm, his back arching and eyes squeezing shut. Bucky moaned as he felt Tony’s walls ripple and constrict around his cock before he reached ecstasy with his Omega, leaning his head down to bite down hard on Tony’s neck as he knotted and filled Tony with his cum. Tony cried out in pleasure-pain from the bite and feeling himself stretch even more around Bucky’s knot, coming to a mini orgasm.

The room became filled with the sound of panting and small sounds of satisfaction from Tony as Bucky gently licked over the bite, watching it slowly heal.

“I’m glad that...we’re able to...heal quickly after being bitten. It would suck...if we had to wait...the usual time,” Tony whispered, a small smile on his face as he continued to catch his breath.

“You and me both, doll,” Bucky agreed before going back to licking the bite, occasionally placing a kiss on or around it as it continued to heal.

Bucky went on to do that until the bite fully healed, a perfect bite mark left in its place. Bucky trailed kisses up Tony’s neck and his jaw before placing a kiss on his lips, a smile on his face.

“All healed, my Omega,” Bucky said quietly.

“Thanks, Alpha,” Tony told Bucky, his eyes slipping shut. “Sleep now?”

“Wow, Tony Stark, one that is known for never sleeping, is asking for sleep. I never thought I’d see that happening,” Bucky snarked, chuckling at Tony’s sigh.

“One, shut up. Two, if you keep fucking me like that then I’m gonna be getting a lot more sleep,” Tony told Bucky, smiling some before opening his brown eyes to meet Bucky’s icy blue gray, eyes. “I love you, Alpha.”

Bucky grinned back at Tony and kissed his lips, “I love you too, Omega. Now, get some sleep. This heat ain’t over yet.”

Tony groaned in slight objection as well as enthusiasm at the thought of being fucked so thoroughly. “You’re gonna kill me.”

“Nah, you’ll be fine. Get some sleep.” Bucky smirked and laid his head down on Tony’s shoulder, burying his face in his neck.

“Especially since I’ll need it,” Tony muttered as he closed his eyes.

“Oh you will,” is all Tony hears as he drifts off to sleep, being followed by Bucky a few moments later.

A/N: I hope that all of you enjoyed reading this! Please reblog and let me know what you think of this part! You can also suggest what you’d like to see in the future!

Tags are OPEN for all fics and just this series!

Tags: @bluemoon102, @me-lexi20, @trapped-in-homestuck-hell, @thatoneextrabitch, @aoifelaufeyson, and anyone else who ships IronWolf!

[troubleisfree]

this is going to be like a very long, detailed, and mostly my personal observations and notes. as it was my first time seeing neymar and the brazil nt in person, i want to remember everything i can while its still fresh. it was a very exciting and at the same time surreal experience because i see those people all the time on tv games and now there they were few feet away from me...

i took the photos and videos. i am usually pretty good at that but i guess the excitement got the better of me because they did not come out fabulous. tumblr is being stupid with not letting me upload more then one video in a post, and i wanted everything together, so i ended up putting them up on youtube.

the hotel 9/3/2018.

so first i went to the hotel (very close to where i live) on monday 9/3. as it was labor day, i was off work and at a bbq/pool party abt 10 miles from home for the day. brazil nt was scheduled to leave the hotel for their first training at 4pm so i left the party early and, after some traffic drama, made it to the hotel little after 3.40pm. there were not too many people so i had a decent view but i also moved around a bit. some of the support staff was coming out already. a few minutes later, firmino was the first i saw, he waved and went straight to the bus.

then a group of marquinhos, douglas costa, fabinho etc came out together. only marquinhos paid any attention to the fans, waving and smiling but didnt stop.

then another group, including casemiro.

then alisson came out. he was really sweet, smiled, stopped with the fans, signed stuff. interacted the most of anyone else with the fans. 

then another group - i think richarlison (idk him really), filipe luis, thiago silva. thiago was just as nice as alisson, stopped with the fans, signed stuff. he looked to me a bit shorter irl then on tv...

willian came out alone next.

at this point, it was almost 4pm, my excitement had totally built up and i was so anxious to see my boy ney. i started thinking that maybe he will get there separately cuz i hadnt seen coutinho and tite either. but there he was! coming out last with barely a minute to spare before 4pm (the timestamp on my photo is 3:58:59pm lol). he was the very last one to come out, chewing on something, with his typical swagger. he waved but didnt stop and the bus left as soon as he got on. he looked just as hot in person as on tv, the cameras dont lie lol. really handsome and very very sexy! i mean, i expected it, i have seen his photos lol but omg he looks so damn good you cant help those dirty thoughts! i felt like an absolute fangirl! this is neither here or there, but he looked to me a little bigger then i expected. just kinda...fuller?

i only took one photo of him cuz i wanted to look at him with my own eyes rather than thru the camera ;)

it was such an incredible experience seeing neymar and the rest of the guys in person so close that i was shaking after! like for real my hands were shaking, my legs were shaking. and i couldnt stop grinning for a good half an hour after. i went to the boardwalk to calm down a bit and just absorb the experience. people passing by probably thought im crazy or reading love letters on my phone or something cuz i just couldnt stop grinning but i didnt give a flying fuck what they were thinking - i had just seen neymar!

my notes and impressions:

1. OMFG I SAW NEYMAR FROM FEW FEET AWAY. just that, my brain was really way too frazzled to process any other impressions lol

the game 9/7/2018

so after some c. drama, despite my initial hopes, i had accepted that i am not going to go to the game. and then the day before i find out I AM GOING!!! i was so freaked out with excitement lol!!!

getting there was so frustrating! first i had forgot to charge my phone before leaving work so i only had like 30% which was nowhere near good enough for my plans of copious pics and vids. so i had to run into a bodega to buy a charger for the car. then for some complicated reason we had to leave from the ues and fucking DRIVE. crosstown. on a friday. at 6pm. straight thru freakin time square with its gazillion tourists. on top of rush hour. even though the schedule said 8pm, the tickets said the event starts at 7.30 and i wanted to be there early to see the warmups and at 7.02 we were still not even inside lincoln tunnel ffs! i was FUMING and ready to jump outta the car and start yelling at the other cars to get a goddamn fucking move on i got places to be people to see! just ugh. so frustrating. the only upside of taking so long to get to the stadium was that by the time we got there my phone was almost 100%...

anyway, finally at 7.25pm we got there and thru all the checks etc (my joke of a miniature purse was shown as an example to another girl with a slightly bigger purse and praised by security for being perfect size which pissed me off because of their dumbass rules it had is smaller then my regular WALLET ffs and it barely even fits my phone so in no way is it a ‘perfect size’ except maybe for dolls or tiny aliens. but they had the stupid clear bag / tiny purse rule in effect and all i cared at that point was getting in so whatever. still, fucking terrorists. obviously also for more important reasons than just being the cause of my having to have a tiny purse but yeah fucking terrorists). 

the stadium was buzzing already. apparently the 7.30 start was for the warmups so perfect for me. this was the view from our seats.

when we got to our seats, the usa team was out already. and the canarinho was interacting with fans. and then brazil came out. 

ney was warming up with coutinho

after stretches, he did some practice shooting. this one didnt go in.

after that the team went back inside and the canarinho came behind the barriers to interact with the fans (photo below especially taken for a.)

time for the teams to come out. for some reason the tunnel was on my side of the stadium but the benches were on the other side and they lined up there for the anthems. (again, for a.)

then the us anthem and, since we dont do things here on a small scale, the flag rolled out was the size of the whole stadium lol

in the first half neymar was playing in front of me. in the beginning of the game i took a few photos and then i stopped because i wanted to watch the game and see with my own eyes not concentrate on the phone... still, here they are

here is the penalty. i didnt catch it go in because i was looking at it happening rather then my phone. i also removed the sound cuz there was screaming when it went in lol. it was a VERY soft penalty btw...

my notes and impressions:

1. it was a friendly so not surprisingly, it was not an edge-of-your-seat game. still brazil dominated the crap out of the usa team. the difference in class and quality was glaringly obvious.

2. it was strange not supporting my country’s team. but only when i thought about it. otherwise my soccering heart belongs to brazil 100%, without a doubt.

3. watching a game live vs tv: both have pros and cons. again, after watching every week on tv, seeing these guys live in person is simply incredible. just absolutely surreal. like, they are moving, running, kicking right in front of you. you can hear the ball being kicked. feel the tension. see what they are doing without the ball. watch their interactions away from the camera. feel the power of the crowd. its just so much more immersive. at the same time, watching at home the curated game content is... convenient. you get closeups. you get facts from the commentators. your bathroom is nearby (i did carefully time my liquid intake that day to avoid venturing into stadium bathrooms and thank god it worked lol). so imo, watching a game on tv is not really that much worse then watching it live. i always felt like i am getting a completely filtered version on tv and it is filtered but it is not horrible. yes, you are missing out on stuff but its not a total loss.

4. the stadium was about 40% full, 32k of 82k capacity. but it felt more like 2/3, probably because on the other side many sections were not even open so most everyone attending was spread out in one long side and the two goal sides.

5. brazil fans were out strong! i’d say about 70% of the people were brazil fans, and of those about 90% had on brazil jerseys. yellow galore lol. the usa fans were constantly chanting but when the brazil fans decided to make the effort they drowned them out easily and completely!

6. the usa fans were in the section behind one of the goals. throughout most of the game i thought oh cute they are constantly singing their hearts out supporting their clearly outplayed loosing team. then they did iceland’s viking chant. yes, it is a cool chant but its iceland’s. idk why so many have been plagiarizing it! first portugal did it in the wc, then i saw another, and now the american outlaws (the usa ultras)... let iceland have its thing people. i did not appreciate it but no big deal. BUT then they did something that pissed me off - few minutes before neymar was substituted in the 80 min they chanted fuck neymar. i was not best pleased to say the least! lick sweaty balls jealous motherfuckers!

7. we did a wave that went around the stadium like 4 times!

8. there was a small group of 13-14yo girls right behind us that whenever ney touched the ball or looked our way screamed ‘neymaaaarrr, neymaaaaarrrrrrrr, vaiiiiiii, vai neymaaaaaaarrrrrrrr’. one girl in particular was especially shrill and vociferous in her dedication to ney. no sense of decorum whatsoever lol. my bf was smirking at me and was like why dont you go sit with them. i on the other hand was thinking that while i wouldnt go sit with them, if some of my tumblr girls were here.... well those girls wouldnt even know what hit them!

9. i would definitely go to a game again! 

10. while the seats we had were really good, i wish there was an option to be even closer and still see the whole pitch. then again, for me it would probably only qualify as ‘close enough’ if im allowed to run along the sidelines lol. but then i wont really be able to watch the game. (hey maybe i can hang from the skycam hahaaaa!). yes, i am a neymar fan but i am also a fan of the game so i want both. i did not have any input in the choice of these seats but i think it was a good trade off - the closest where you can both see the guys and actual game. if i have to pick the tickets for the next game (hopefully i will go again some time!), i would be tempted by the lower levels but the barriers are pretty high so... i would probably go for the same - second level first row.

11. there was a guy sitting next to me with his date and he was trying to be all knowledgeable and impress the girl but half the stuff he was telling her was wrong lol! he kept pointing to douglas costa and telling her its firmino. i was cracking myself up listening to him talk complete bullshit but with such grand authority about technical game stuff.

12. at some point a loose ball ended up into the stands, some guy caught it, and 2 min later security came to take it away from him :/ why not let the guy just keep the ball?!? stupid. if it was me, i’d have made a fuss, maybe pretended that it hit me in the face and threatened to sue the stadium cuz they have not ensured the spectators’ safety or some such crap lol. see if they dont let me keep it to avoid a lawsuit.

13. the canarinho (for a.) - he was really great! interacting with the fans, dancing, hugging fans. really a fantastic mascot and absolute joy to watch! during the halftime he was out on the pitch, doing keepie uppies (in those shoes too!!! showing his brazilianness lol), and kicking balls into the stands

14. i was totally impressed by neymar. it was just so obvious how good he is and no, not because i am biased, which i admittedly am. i expected him to be good, duh, but to see it so clearly was amazing. he is not a fluke, he is the real deal. he stands out among even such quality peers as the rest of brazil nt! just something in the way he interacts with the ball, the way he moves, ‘sees’ his teammates without looking, turns on a dime, does the unexpected. i dont think he ‘thinks’ or ‘calculates’ at all his moves or that it is just a lot of practice, i think it is pure instinct in the moment, i.e. phenomenal natural talent. even though this was not one of his greatest games for sure, he just looked... special and different from the rest. most of the brazil players were displaying their clearly high quality but there is just something unique in the way neymar plays. even if you dont know who he is, what teams are playing, anything at all, you’d still pick him out and know that there is something extraordinary about this guy. if you unfocus your eyes so you see just all same yellow shirt figures, you would still be able to pick out which one is neymar. he did a bit of his skills and tricks and of course i wished he had done more. what i took away from watching him play live was that, in this average game, he looked as good playing live as he has in the past when i have watched his great games on tv. i dont know why. but watching neymar play live was an experience of its own. it felt like his average ‘live’ performance is as good as his great ‘tv’. i cant even imagine what it would be like watching one of his great performances live. while i dont feel im loosing so much watching games on tv vs live as mentioned above, i definitely feel that watching neymar in particular play live is on another level and im missing out when i watch him on tv instead of live. he is absolutely worth the price of admission. i was so disappointed in him for his wc antics but thats in the past now, and i have been reminded how right it feels to be his fan, not just for the nice things he does for kids/charity, his fun personality (and lets not forget the good looks, and oh boy they are SO GOOD lol) but his undeniably outstanding talent on the pitch. his game is just incredible. i hope he keeps healthy. i hope he gets his temper under control not just for a few games but for good. and i pray he always has the freedom to shine like he rightfully can. i am rooting for him to get the appreciation and acknowledgement he deserves, unadulterated by behavioral issues or personal drama.

ok, imma stop now. this post is huge, even by my standards. 

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 38: Transcript

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: Just be screaming at the top of his lungs the entire time.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 cartoon.  I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we are joined by my husband, Chezni cuz uh, we're going to be talking about his favorite episode, which is episode 38: Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court! 

C: Hello.

O: Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yep, let's do it.

O: What's the worst that can happen?

C: We all die.

S: I can think of any number of things.

O: [laughter] Wow, guys!

C: [laughter]

O: It’s like that Marge Simpson meme: “Can you lighten up a little there, kids?” You’re just, like: “We could all die!” Okay then. Anyway-

S: We open in yet another fire fight between the Autobots and Decepticons.

O: Starscream is apparently really hungry as he complains about the lack of energy.

C: Ramjet is still gunning to go and attempts to ram Warpath, who instead sends Ramjet flying into Starscream, Ravage and Rumble.

O: Starscream is ready to flee but Rumble senses some energy inside a cave.

C: Ravage just goes barreling past and into the cave and the rest follow him-

S: Because when Starscream has the munchies it's everybody's problem, I'm afraid.

C: Warpath with his whole “Zip! Powie! Wowie!” normal sense of self collapses some rocks onto the entrance trapping them inside the cave.

S: And the interior of said cave looks, um, vaguely like a temple for some reason?

O: Starscream decides he's going to be all dramatic about it and calls it, “Their tomb!,” when the entrance is blocked, too.

C: I mean, how much do you want to bet he acts like this anytime he hasn't had lunch?

S: Seems like a really easy bet.

O: He definitely does. Rumble then points at a rock slab and says, “Hey, there's energy here!” 

S: This rock has, uh, some weird writing on it and some sort of touchpad functionality. You know, for robots, apparently. 

C: Starscream just runs over and knocks Rumble completely out of the way.

O: With ye old wonderful bonk sound effect. Also, poor Rumble, I hope Soundwave gets mad at Starscream when they get back.

C: Man, he hit him pretty hard. What happened to faction loyalty? 

O: Please, Starscream? Loyalty, what loyalty?

S: Starscream then says some bullshit about, uh, because he's their leader he needs to take the risk if the slab is dangerous.

C: Besides! He's hungrier than Rumble! 

S: Yeah, never mind if there are any negative consequences to this he'll definitely be using Rumble as a robo shield.

O: As you do. Outside, Hoist is trying to clear the rubble from the cave entrance with Warpath providing his normal colorful commentary.

C: Inside, Starscream finishes highlighting the text on the tablet- I mean, ancient stone. 

S: It's- it's a super old-gen tablet, don't you know.

O: You know, made of rock. Ramjet turns around and points out that the entrance is magically not blocked anymore?

S: And they are all just like nyoom out of there without any critical thinking whatsoever.

O: Critical thinking? In this show? When’s that a thing?

C: I mean, they literally had reality change around them and they didn't stop to think about it. Like, I'm surprised Starscream doesn't think this is some sort of Autobot trick or something considering how paranoid he is.

S: Yeah...

O: No, that would be a logical thing to do.

S: Mm-hmm. 

O: Outside we have one lone human female, uh, who sees all the Decepticons- that some says something about, “Big ass knights coming from the dragon mound.”

S: This'll be coming back later. 

O: Ha! Yeah, yeah! I'm sure this won't be relevant at all.

S: Two human knights on horseback attack Rumble. All the Decepticons think they're just some really weird looking Autobots.

C: Up until Starscream just sort of pushes one of them over and Ramjet headbutts the other off his horse. 

S: [Sighs] That's Ramjet: solving all his problems with his head.

O: He's got one talent and that's it.

S: Yeah, it's in- it’s all in the name. Ramjet then offers some constructive criticism as the knights appear to fall into two pieces when they fall off their horses.

O: Starscream picks up a piece of armor and comes to the conclusion that these are humans pretending to be robots. 

C: The main knight takes offense at this as well as when Rumble calls his armor outdated.

S: Leading our intrepid idiots to realize that they have traveled to the 1500’s, apparently.

O: The question is: Have they also teleported? Were they fighting in England? Or were they in the US somewhere?

S: Or somewhere else all together. And we will get absolutely zero answers on this.

O: Yep, that's normal. 

C: Then our lone female hiding in the bushes and eavesdropping flees to warn her father about the magical men, naturally stepping on a stick which immediately alerts everyone to her presence.

O: Because some cinematic cliches are timeless. 

S: The knight uh, the Decepticons are talking to comes to the very quick conclusion that the noise came from a spy and Ravage immediately chases after her. 

C: I mean, not only is it hilarious that, ah, Ravage immediately outpaces the horses but he just hears the word “spy” and seems to reflexively go after her with no context. He's just, like, “What? A spy? I must go!”

O: Fetch! 

S: I think he's probably thinking about when Spike’s spied on them a few times and, i mean, the general idea is probably to catch her first and ask questions later. He's- he’s clearly been traumatized by how many times Spike has fucked shit up for them. 

O: Speaking of Spike, the lady runs smack into him while running away from Ravage. 

S: They dodge and Ravage runs smack into Warpath.

C: Or vice versa.

S: Regardless, Ravage- Ravage skedaddles. He flees. 

O: Smart move. The lady leads Spike, Warpath, and Hoist away, back to her father's castle.

C: Is she just not concerned that you know two more giant metal men have stepped out of the dragon mound? I mean, how does she know these ones are allies? 

O: The color coding, my dear, color coding. 

C: Oh, okay.

O: That doesn't even begin to make sense but-

C: These are good colored ones-

O: Yeah- yeah, but Starscream is actually in some pretty traditionally heroic characters [character’s colors] if we're going by kind of the normal color coding in cartoons.

C: Yeah-

O: This is why it's kind of funny that she's like, “Ah, yes, the giant, angry red one is totally fine or-”

C: Those meta ones: Suspicious. These metal ones: A-okay. 

O: These are friend-shaped.

S: Well, they- they chased away the thing that was chasing her so-

O: I'll give you that.

S: I don't know. It's provisional, I guess and, at any rate, Hoist is clearly a history fiend as he's able to accurately date the girl's clothing.

C: Someone's a history nerd! 

O: A bot after my own heart.

C: She finally introduces herself as Nimue and confirms we are, as the title would suggest, in Camelot. 

S: So, she's named after the Lady of the Lake.

O: We presume, because she's clearly not the actual Lady of the Lake. She asked for our- the Autobots help to defeat the Decepticons to which the Autobots agree to help.

S: Then Hoist transforms and Spike and Nimue get inside. 

C: I mean, how did she know to get in there? Like, she just straight up sees that open door and jumps right in. 

S: Well, I guess they could have carriages? She might have also assumed that, I don't know, maybe It's just a weird ass magic portal. 

C: I mean that's true but why wasn't she surprised when the giant metal man transformed into one? 

O: They’re in Camelot, dude, they've seen some serious shit. 

C: [Sighs] It's only a model.

O: Later at Nimue’s father's castle, Spike is trying on some armor.

S: Some very ugly looking armor. 

O: That he can barely walk in. 

S: Hoist is obviously the fashionista of the Autobots, at least when it comes to human clothing. He knows armor and dresses, alike, and makes some better fitting armor for Spike. 

C: We can build it better, stronger, faster-

O: Spike? No, we can't. 

C: [Laughter] 

O: While Hoist is working, he asks the king why he and- or I don't know if he's an actual king or if he's just a lord? Anyway, he- he asks Nimue's father why he and the black knight who allied with the Decepticons are fighting to which the king responds with: Cows.

S: Cattle raids were quite common at the time.

O: Which is not the reason he gives, instead it's that they got through a- break in a fence and ate his garden and he apparently took, you know, personal offense at this but, well, wars have been fought over less.

S: Look up Washington State's Pig War. It's educational.

O: [Laughter] 

C: Hoist finishes up the armor, dunks it in some water to cool it, and then just hands it all in one piece to Spike.

O: I'm pretty sure that should still be way too fucking hot for a human to touch.

S: Yep.

C: Hoist is also apparently getting low on energy.

S: I have to wonder how much energy went into making that armor. 

O: I mean-

S: I guess-

O: Yeah, I have no idea.

S: [Sighs] So Spike gets his armor on, trips immediately, and then Nimue fawns all over him which seems kind of silly.

C: Ugh, yeah... and Spike gets a kiss out of the deal for, like, no reason.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: All right! What is the number one rule for time travel? Don't fuck with the past and, by that, I mean don't fuck in the past! 

S: At least not with anyone you didn't bring with you.

O: Yes! Yes, good point! Good point!

C: I guess that would make them safe. I mean, after all, what is the statistical likelihood of this being one of Spike's distant ancestors?

O: Look, if the universe doesn't care about the possibility of Spike doing the horizontal mambo with this great- great- great- something grandma, who the heck are we to judge? 

S: Well, the further back you go the more likely you are to be related to random famous people, I guess.

O: [Laughter]

S: I don't know, I mean it happens. The next day Nimue's father, Sir Aetheling is hosting a jousting tournament.

C: We see Spike getting ready with Hoist lowering him onto his horse with his hook, while Warpath gives him fighting advice.

O: It's actually quite sweet how supportive Hoist and Warpath are being during all of this.

S: And when did Spike learn to ride a horse?

O: I was wondering-

C: How-

O: -the exact same thing. Sometime, maybe when he was not living on an oil rig?

C: Heh.

S: Maybe-

C: Another life?

S: I mean- I mean, Sparkplug's the most interesting man in the world, maybe he did a- maybe he did a patch of work at a ranch or something?

O: [Laughter] Ranch-hand Sparkplug! 

C: So Spike fights very bravely and is defeated very quickly.  His horse sparing him no dignity as it drags him off the field. 

S: Yep, uh, considering that Spike is hanging onto the horse's tail it's a pretty well-tempered horse, cuz you really don't want to be on that end of the horse it will kick the hell out of you.

C: Well, it just- it doesn't need to consider insignificant things.

O: [Snorts] So the Black Knight, Sir Wigend of Blackthorne, finally shows up and due to the rules of 80s cartoons, uh, both him and Nimue's father decide that whomever wins a jousting match will be the ruler of the land.

C: Well, that seems completely unnecessary therefore, I agree! 

O: Of course, so Wigend being, you know, evil-ish is like, “Aha! But you will have to fight my champions, not me!” 

S: [Sighs] Uh, I'm going to conveniently stand out and leave you with some giant metal men.

O: Those giant metal men being Rumble and Ramjet. Rumble’s holding a lance and it cracks me up.

C: Then literally the greatest thing ever conceived in any children's show happens! My inner nine-year-old is just screaming in delight as one robot mounts a jet [while] holding a lance and shield, preparing for a joust of the ages!

O: [Laughter] Okay, you now- you know why we had to have Chezni on this episode with us.

S: Mm-hm, mm-hm, my question is: We see Ramjet’s thrusters go on now, um, so how are they maintaining a speed of 5 to 15 miles per hour? Even rolling on tarmac jets a rather quicker than that.

C: It's- it's, uh, it's the grass. [Laughter]

S: God, this must be such a bumpy ride.

O: Rumble’s had worse, and besides they're trying to intimidate the humans, not blow them away with a sonic boom.

S: True.

O: Of course, in response to, you know, uh, Ramjet and Rumble, Warpath transforms and the red knight mounts him. I mean that in the least sexy way possible. [Laughter] God, this is ridiculous!

C: It's not ridiculous! It's art! 

S: [Sighs] Starscream is pretty pissed to realize the Autobots have followed them into this time period.

O: It's his world, dammit! He thought he was finally gonna be in charge!

S: He had plans and nothing is going according to them.

O: [Laughter] Isn't that just a normal day for Starscream? 

S: Yeah.

C: Yes. Yes, it is. Simple physics dictate that Warpath is the quick victor over Ramjet as Ramjet has his cone bashed in. Wait, how does Ramjet live through this?

S: I don't think his brains are in his head.

O: Or at least not that part of his head. Uh, Nimue goes full Karen on Sir Wigend, telling him he'd better apologize to her father.

S: Yep and Starscream hits his fuck-all point and decides to kidnap Nimue to get what he wants.

C: Yoink! 

S: He wants to color coordinate his hostage with his colors.

C: [Laughter] 

O: Starscream-

C: Oh my god-

O: Drives off with Nimue in his cockpit telling her dad that he'd better surrender his kingdom if he wants to see her again.

C: Ah, typical Starscream.

S: Clearly, the Decepticons are suffering from lack of energy as they are unable to take flight and the Autobots aren't able to maintain their vehicle modes, transforming back into robots.

O: So, Hoist and Warpath have ended up in a pile. 

C: Uh, guys? Uh, wha- what are those two robots doing? 

O: Well, you see, when a daddy robot and a daddy robot love each other very much-

C: Oh, dear lord, I need an adult.

O: You are an adult!!

C: It's still not enough to prepare me for this!

O: [Laughter]

S: You weren't ready for the cogs and sprockets talk.

O & C: [Laughter]

C: I don't understand, what are they? They're robots, Harold. 

O & S: [Laughter]

O: ...Yes.

S: Aside from all this madness, we see an owl spying, you know, on the, uh-

O: Chaos.

S: Yes, the chaos. The hazards happening down below before returning to a man in a green cloak.

O: Naturally, as we are in Camelot, this is Merlin. Merlin exists in this universe, guys! 

S: Yep, yep! 

C: Oh dear.

S: [Laughter]

C: The owl apparently communicates this whole kidnapping situation which Merlin somehow understands and responds with, “Make some idiot 20 feet tall and he thinks he rules the earth.”

O: And then made some cryptic comment about getting singed by a dragon and walks off. 

S: [Laughter] Elsewhere, at the black knights castle, Rumble does us all a favor and shoves Nimue into a tower.

O: Sir Wigend protests but Starscream pops up and is like, “Surprise! You're my bitch now!”

S: It's Starscream, he wants everyone to be his bitch.

C: And then immediately after he just falls over from lack of energy. 

S: Wolfe, who works for Sir Wigend, shows up and hands starscream a whole treasure chest full of gold.

O: Starscream compliments him and Wolfe gives the camera the most coy look i've ever seen in an 80’s cartoon.

C: It is so coy.

S: Does he have his hands clasped?

O: I- I think so? But I might be misremembering that so don't quote me. 

C: It's very strange looking regardless.

S: Uh-huh.

C: Then Starscream just sort of crushes the jewelry in his hands, which somehow immediately turns it into a fine gold wire.

S: Which apparently leads him to creating some sort of energy device that requires a bunch of humans to move around and basically, um- [Sighs]

C: Like, aren't they generating some kind of electromagnet? 

O: Something like that?

S: Yeah, but it- honestly they'd get more energy if they just went and found a river and stuck it in the- in the river. Paddles in the river.

O: Please, the Decepticons are, like, on principle allergic to green energy, dear.

S: It just seems like it would be less waste and effort-

C: But there’s no servitude in that!

O: [Laughter]

S: Yes!

C: Starscream needs servitude with his lunch.

O: Starscream's a talking jet, he wants servitude!

S: It just seems like less effort to have to go and kidnap people to do the servitude-

C: [Laughter]

O: They’re not kidnapping, they're just making Sir Wigend’s staff do it, duh! [Laughter]

S: Yes-

C: That’s true.

S: But eventually they're gonna drop dead.

O: [Laughter] 

C: Uh... Rumble and Ravage attempt to step into the machine to recharge but Starscream steps in front of them and says he needs it more than they do.

O: Rumble is just not allowed to eat today. 

S: [Sighs] And back at the Red Knights’ castle, Spike is whining about it being all his fault that Nimue got kidnapped.

C: Spike, you need to have some chance at succeeding before you can take any responsibility for the failure of the situation.

S: He's been parentified by a bunch of giant robots.

O: [Snorts]

S: I don't know. Warpath encourages Spike to attempt to save Nimue himself while he and Hoist continue to prep a different rescue plan. 

O: Well, he encourages Spike's ill-advised rescue attempt, anyway.

S: Uh-huh.

C: Is it just me or is he just trying to get Spike out of his hair?

S: That is very possible, so, maybe. 

O: He was moping a lot. I would find that annoying, personally. 

S: Spike, er, he just sounds so pissy when he is like, “Yeah, fine, yes.”

O: So now back with, you know, Sir Wigend and company-

C: The other Cons are like, “Are you done yet?” to Starscream. 

S: Yeah, yeah, he just sounds so pissy when he was like, “Fine, yes.” 

O: Starscream steps out of the little energy field thing and is apparently having everyone retrieve items from his grocery list next.

S: Ramjet is working on charcoal and Starscream orders him to go get some rock salt. Rumble and Ravage have been tasked with getting sulfur. 

C:They literally only got charged for a few seconds before Starscream told them to get out to go get the ingredients.

S: Rumble grumbles and says they also need some potassium nitrate.  As a bird poops on Starscream, instead he tells Rumble that he- that Rumble now needs to go get the potassium nitrate.

O: For everyone as confused as I was about why a bird just pooped on Starscream and why that was relevant, apparently you can get potassium nitrate from birds droppings, so when Rumble grumbles about, “Oh, are you gonna go get this, then?”

C: Funny you should mention.

O: And Rumble's like, “Well, crap.” Literally. 

S: Mm-hm. Sir Wigend attempts to apologize to Nimue but she chucks the stool at him, as well as attempts to hit him.

O: With her fist. 

C: The sexual tension in the scene rises.

S: Well, she is not taking any of this lying down.

O: So, instead, the two of them fall on the floor together rolling around for a bit.

S: They're rolling in the hay.

O: Sir Wigend admits that he's been, “An idiot.”

C: What do you know, a white male character admitting he was an idiot! Michael Bay stole so much from this episode to make his fifth movie. Why couldn't he have taken that? 

O: No! No more Bay movie talk! [Laughter] He so- he then flatters her- telling her that her eyes are beautiful and she immediately drops him on the ground and says, “They are?!” 

S: And Sir Wigend just flops like a ragdoll.

O: [Laughter]

C: It's pretty hilarious. Outside, Spike is attempting to climb the tower in his full plate male armor!

O: He gets to the top but falls down into the moat, sinking because of said armor.

S: He proceeds to take it off with no issues- underwater- so how is it staying on?

O: I think all of this begs the question of, how did he get over to the tower in the first place? Because it was on the other side of the moat!

S: Yep.

C: He ducks underwater as the drawbridge lowers above him.

S: And Rumble walks across completely covered in bird shit. 

O: [Laughter] At least he got plenty of potassium nitrate. He also clearly made a new friend, as the pigeon is just sitting on his shoulder.

S: He must miss being around birds that don't create droppings. 

O: He will never complain about Laserbeak or Buzzsaw again.

S: Ramjet tells him, “Good job!” and even calls him “little buddy.” 

O: Ramjet seems, like, not horrible in this. Good to know.

C: Spike, from underwater, hears them talk about the sulfur, potassium nitrate, and so forth.

O: How!?

C: It's the opposite of mansplaining: it's Superman hearing! 

O & S: [Laughter]

O: Oh, and then we cut back to Starscream who's now stirring a bunch of stuff in a giant fucking cauldron like a goddamn witch's brew.

S: Where did they even get a cauldron that big? 

O: Ye old cauldrons are us?

C: That had to be a thing.

O: [Laughter]

C: All of this has been to create gunpowder which Starscreams demonstrates by casually tossing some at a nearby wall.

O: You know, it strikes me he doesn't have very much respect for other people's property.

C: I mean, he's basically just in a giant, like, toy house as far as he's concerned.

O: True. 

S: Yeah, Spike arrives at the top of the tower but Nimue cheerfully tells him she doesn't need rescuing because her and Sir Wigend are getting married. They're gettin’ hitched.

O: Outside, the Autobots and Nimue's father are trying to lay siege to the castle. 

S: The Cons and their human allies start catapulting, uh, barrels of gunpowder into the- onto the Autobot forces, destroying their mobile siege tower.

O: Nimue's father asked how they're going to scale the wall?

C: Oh, no! If- if only we had some sort of large, mobile metal construction that could reach that height! Like a- like a man? Like a giant metal man? 

O & S: [Laughter] 

O: So Hoist uses his body to span the moat as Ramjet and Rumble continue to attack from the castle walls.

C: Rumble just starts punching parts of the tower wall down onto the forces below. 

S: Rumble, that is a terrible idea when it's your castle and then Warpath is protecting some soldiers who are so insignificant to this scene they didn't deserve color.

O: Or actual spears!

C: It's true, they're just- they're just not colored in this scene. 

S: Yep, Sir Wigend asks Wolfe for help but, instead, Wolfe yeets him off the tower. He's purple, so of course he does that.

O: Don't worry, he's fine, he landed in the moat!

C: They had parachutes, they all survived.

S: Spike walks out, stool in tow, and tells Wolfe that he has to deal with Sir Spike now.

O: Oh, you knighted yourself now, have you?

S: Fittingly, Nimue is actually the one who takes Wolfe out with the stool to the head.

C: Remember kids, it's not violence if, in place of guns, you use household objects instead. 

O: Hoist acts as their forces’ siege tower and the knights use him to scale the wall.

S: Hoist will happily assist but does not particularly want to do the demolition himself.

O: He does take some offense at Warpath using him as a step stool, though. 

S: Well, I think I would too. Warpath and Ramjet start beating on each other with big, ol’ wooden sticks.

C: Just like any schoolyard brawl between two boys.

S: Unfortunately, Ramjet wins this round because he's been able to charge more and, because Warpath runs out of energy, he gets tossed on top of Hoist.

C: In another scene, Ravage attacks Spike but is chased off by the owl from before, running away.

O: Ravage is super small here, like the actual size of a dog or jaguar compared to the episode where he kidnapped Chip and was as tall as Chip.

S: Merlin shows up and zaps Hoist and Warpath with lightning, which recharges their batteries.

O: Oh, yeah, magic fucking exists in this universe by the way!

C: Starscream just screeches about how, “Magic can never defeat science!” 

S: Oh, Starscream, you're about to be real disappointed real soon. 

O: Hoist and Warpath jump over the moat in vehicle mode, destroying Starscream's machine and defeating the Decepticons.

C: Afterwards, Spike laments that he didn't get the girl. 

S: What about Carly, Spike, what about her? [Specs Note: I keep forgetting that he’s supposed to be, like, 14-15 years old? Maybe 16? Dunno how much time’s passed since the Autobots woke up on Earth. It makes the entire situation weirder. How old is anyone in this episode?]

C: Ooooh.

O: Well, at least we don't have to worry about the time paradox of being your own great- great- great- great- great- grandfather now, presumably. 

S: Merlin tells them that they can get back home the same way they came here. 

O: Oh! But you remember that nugget from before? It's called a “dragon mound” because a dragon has moved in!

C: And with this revelation I feel the need to mention that this means that Transformers, G.I. Joe, and Jem all exist, canonically, in a world where magic, dragon[s], and time travel exists!

O: Don't forget Inhumanoids.

S: But apparently Mertin created it originally because- well, the time travel doohickey, because he needed a time travel device to get his fancy 20th century doodads.

O: As you do.

C: They arrive at the dragon mound and the dragon comes out pissed but don't worry, because Merlin's got a totally magic-based solution for this problem: Dragon's Bane.

O: Starscream is not happy about having to trust “unscientific superstition.”

C: But as Merlin lists off the ingredients of this ‘Dragon's Bane,’ it quickly becomes apparent that Merlin's 100% magical solution is actually just gunpowder again under a different name.

O: [Laughter] Warpath chucks the Dragon's Bane at the dragon, which explodes, and the dragon flies off. 

S: Then Warpath and Hoist go for some, you know, low fives. 

O: I legitimately think this is because they cannot raise their arms over their heads. One or both of them, I'm not sure. 

S: The Cybertronians, plus Spike, walk back through and arrive in the present.

C: Getting shot at almost immediately. 

O: Spike and Co retreat.

S: Starscream runs over and tackles Megatron asking if he's happy to see him. [Laughs]

C: And Megatron just screams and the episode ends.

O & S: [Laughter]

O: Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's what I would probably do if Starscream showed up, uninvited, and destroyed my victory or something. So join, at least, me and Specs, next time for The God Gambit. Everyone bow to your new god: Astrotrain.

S: And your new idol: Cosmos!

O: [Laughter] Yeah! And I believe Specs has some, uh, fanfics for us today.

S: Yes, I do. So the first fanfic recommendation is “The Human Condition” by Wayward. It's based on the G1 cartoon continuity. It's rated T, there's some minor slash, um, there are some very there's various pairings, it's- none of it’s explicit. Characters: Mainly the Decepticons, there's a few original characters involved, and also Merlin shows up.

O: Again! [Laughter]

S: At least once or twice, um. In summary, “The Decepticons have been struck by a terrible curse: They've been turned human. But will they look for a cure or use it to their advantage?” And recommendation, it's kind of a direct callback to this episode because of-

O: Merlin, I assume. 

S: Well, Merlin and also Starscream- well, how the episode starts off and, basically, why they end up cursed.

O: All right.

S: So, it's multi-chapter and it's complete, but it's in the middle of a series, so there might be some stuff that happens in it that ref- references stuff earlier in the series but it's been such a long time since I've actually read it that I'm not sure if you'd need to read early in the series but I think this can be read, um, on its own and enjoy it. But it's some of Wayward's earlier work and she’s still got it up on fanfiction.net but it's not the stuff that she's got on her AO3 account.

O: Gotcha.

S: So, I enjoyed it- it's fun, it's- it's just- it's a good read. And the secondary recommendation is “Novikov Principle” by Spoon888. It's also in the G1 cartoon continuity. It’s rated T, it's slash, uh, the pairing is Megatron/Starscream, and the characters are Megatron and Starscream with-

O: Double the amount of Starscream. [Laughter]

S: Yeah, double the amount of Starscream. And, in summary, “Starscream uses time travel and messes up yet another assassination attempt by accidentally jumping into the future instead of his past. He learns that his life to come involves a lot less universal domination than he would have expected and somehow that's worse.”

O: [Laughter]

S: So the rec is- ah, recommendation theme- it's time travel and also Starstream schemes, and it's a complete one shot.

O: Um, this one's great. I actually read it, um, I- I think an alternate either- either the author said this or somebody in the comments said it an alternate take is “Starscream traumatizes himself.” 

S: [Laughter] Oh, I didn't look at any of the comments but it was one that I enjoyed reading. And that about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, or Youtube, or AO3!  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: I’m Owls.

C: I’m Chezni.

S: Toodles.

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