#and her mom is super supportive which 💜

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

The big tree helps block it but the storm blowing in from the north instead of the south helps more

[aphinthestars]

FINALLY FINISHED MY CHARACTER SHEET FOR MY SPIDERSONA! 💜😭 After quite literally nine months of working on it! Don't expect something as detailed from me ever again though lol.

I'll talk a little about her lore and character wise in this post if you are interested! (Quick TW Since Aph's story deals with quite a bit of death, self hate, suicidal thoughts etc, etc, you get the gist just be careful reading, also heads up both my friends Didi and Nico wrote their spidersonas with mine so their lores intertwine also also heads up for a quite a bit of an age gap since my spidersona is shipped with Miguel sooooo)

Aph Stella or better well known as Constellation Weaver, the Spiderwoman of Earth-117.

Her powers are basically the normal Spider-Man powers with a few exceptions, she is based on stars, starlight, shooting stars etc, so for example her webs are made out of stars holding onto each other like constellations, like stars being made out of fire, her webs are extremely irritating to the normal human skin, the closest injury to it being a quimical burn.

As well as her webs she can charge her stars on the palms of her hands to cause damage to enemies.

Cons to her powers are that she didn't get the normal super strength that everyone else does, instead she got double the resistance, think of it as she is meant to protect not fight, though she can more then handle herself with the villains in her universe.

Like on Madoka Magica she needs a recharge period on her powers or else something horrible might happen to her, though instead of having a jewel like on Madoka Magica, her body slowly gets filled with a star pattern, that's actually why her suit has pieces of her skin open, so she knows she is not overusing her powers.

The city she lives instead of being New York is named Nueva Lunaria, situated in the late 2020s

She is 26 years old, became Spiderwoman at age 21 but all her canon events only started happening a year or two before the events of ATSV.

Her height, like her creator, is 1.52 cm or 5'2 feet.

Came from an emotional abusive household but lived the first 4 years of her life with her grandmother May until she eventually died of old age and she had to go on back to live with her parents.

After leaving her parents' home she quickly moved in with her two best friends since childhood Didi and Nico.

Because of Aph being the oldest she always was a substitute mom to the both of them.

Nico and Didi helped create Aph’s suit so it's an emotional piece for her.

Aph got bitten in her job as a freelance artist for her universe's version of NASA, Aph would take any job that anywhere would throw at her as she needed the money, being the oldest she felt the need to support Nico and Didi through their careers (Both ended up graduating, Nico as an art preschool teacher and Didi as a nurse which helped Aph heal her injuries in the right way)

Aph got bitten in her job by a rogue entity that they had brought from outer space, specifically from an endeavor to the moon, the only way the people in that ship could describe it was a spider.

Aph got bitten while working on drawing said description of the spider for the research team.

Aph quickly quit her job after she noticed she was becoming Spiderwoman because she was afraid of getting experimented on or worse.

From then on she promised to use her powers responsibly and with kindness just as her Nana May would've wanted.

Sadly both Didi and Nico were Aph's canon events.

Nico dies at the hands of the Lizard in Aph's universe, thrown off a building after the Lizard stopped toying with her, Aph tried to catch her with her webs in a panic but because of her injuries done by the Lizard and the injuries that she got from Aph's webs, she didn't survive, she dies on the beginnings of December before Aph's 26th birthday in January.

Aph's birthday on January 17 that year was the only one she has ever not celebrated in her life.

Didi dies on Valentine's day the year that Aph became 26, done with not being able to help Aph fight villains she makes a deal with what she didn't know at the time was the Green Goblin, making her into a praying mantis hybrid that Aph had to defeat.

Aph blames herself for both their deaths thinking they were preventable.

She lives in a shoujo manga/magical girl inspired world (Think Sailor Moon and Madoka Magica)

A lot of her lore was deadass taken or inspired by Madoka or Sailor Moon so bare with me lol.

Because of Didi's and Nico's deaths Aph can no longer pay for the rent for her apartment and goes back to her parents' home.

Her parent's try to arrange a marriage for her with the Doc Ock of her universe and that's her last straw.

She plans to commit suicide that night but never gets the chance.

That night a orange portal appears in her childhood bedroom, everything floating up and then falling back.

From there emerges Miguel O'Hara recruiting her to the society.

She cuts his speech and says that yes she will join him without hesitation as she sees this as a signal from the universe to keep living and do good in other places.

Much like Gwen she pretty much abandons her universe and lives full time in Earth-928 on the society thanks to Miguel.

Miguel finds out about what she was about to do in her universe and makes sure she gets help.

What Aph doesn't know at the time is that their are Spiderman versions of Didi and Nico in the society, Didi is the adoptive daughter of Miguel and Nico as well as Aph can't go back to her universe.

Miguel hides this information from Aph to protect her but she finds out anyway, they talk it out and Aph understands why he did it, he wanted to make sure Aph didn't try to see this Didi and Nico as replacements of her own.

She eventually is alright enough to be friends with them though.

Miguel in my AU is 35.

Aph and Miguel have a 9 year difference.

Aph and Miguel quickly become close because they feel as if they both lost people in their lives that were important to them in similar ways.

Since Aph is on Nueva York at least for the near future, like the bracelet that Miles wears when he comes into the spidersociety, Miguel turns Aph's star shaped earrings into stabilizers so she can be there without the clunky watch (Though she still needs it to go to other dimensions)

Miguel also quickly finds out that Aph has basically been fighting blind as a bat, she wears glasses on her daily life another perk she didn't get from the spider, but she didn't know how to add the graduation that her glasses have to her mask so she had been fighting blind.

Miguel finds out by seeing her fight, seeing how she normally overshots her hits, when he finds out he berates her but quickly fixes the problem and updates her mask.

Aph makes sure Miguel takes proper breaks and often brings him food from the cafeteria or pastries she makes herself.

She hangs out with him a lot on his lab since she doesn't like that he is cooped up there with no one to talk to or even just have in his presence.

After a heart to heart and Aph basically confessing her feelings to Miguel after she almost died , they get together and Miguel gives Aph a promise ring that like her earrings stabilizes her without the need of the watch.

They call each other mi luna y mi sol.

When the events of ATSV happen, Aph is reluctant to go to Miles' side, but she knows that the person she once knew as her partner is doing something wrong that he'll eventually regret.

She eventually goes back to Miguel after an apology to Miles and him fixing everything up.

In the future Miguel and Aph have four children including Didi, they had difficulties having them surprisingly nor because of the difference in dimensions but because both their genetics are FUCKED in opposite ways, at first they thought they would have none, then oldest biological daughter, Minerva, Minny for short came along after they almost gave up, eventually four years later they had Javier, Javi, who was a very sickly boy so they thought they would never have another one because the other two were already a fucking miracle, and finally six years later when Aph is 38 they have Mateo, the youngest and quite literally their oops baby since Miguel is 47 by then lmao.

AND THAT'S IT! That's Aph's story and design at least for this post, I'll post more about her story and drawings as I make them, I'll also be posting old ones that are in my procreate, mainly with Miguel.

And one last thing props to my friend who made the design of Aph's logo on her bow! Originally she wouldn't have one since I didn't know where to put it but my friend came through, though they didn't want to be tagged I still want to credit them in some way!

Tag list: @sweetimpurity @sweetimpurityloves @bluemadnessstuff

[evansbby]

greek god stomega au, where steve is the son of zeus and omega is the daughter of demeter!

the wizard of oz au, where omega is dorothy and steve is the evil lion who keeps dorothy all to himself?

gossip girl au, i think you answered an ask where omega and steve were watching gossip girl but anyway, bucky would be carter baizen and i feel like bucky would also be gossip girl or peter😭

oh! baker!omega and misogynisticbusinessman!steve, he decides to go to the bakery nearby his workplace/building and sees omega there and eventually leaves his fiance(sharon)

I know this is super ooc for steve and omega but smug artist!steve x shy model!omega

well that was all i could think of, hope you enjoyed reading this!!

OMG OMG OMG you have no idea how much I love this ask! I need to answer it properly and give my thoughts on each AU!!! Bare with me! 💜💜

So firstly, Greek God Stomega AU?? YES PLS! I was a Greek mythology girlie back in the day! (Like my tweens, early teens haha). Steve would be Hades and Omega would be Persephone! Except he wouldn’t be her uncle pls. ORRR maybe Steve could be Apollo since Apollo is the Sun God 😭😭 except everyone thinks he’s this golden boy but actually he’s extremely debauched, promiscuous, MEAN and obsessed with human!omega and wants to make her his!

Bahaha Wizard of Oz Au! I can imagine Steve being the Wicked Wizard of the West hehehe

GOSSIP GIRL STOMEGA AU YES YES YES!! But I feel like it’s very similar to POYT in the sense that the privileged elite go to poyt university! But if poyt uni had a gossip girl, it would DEFFOOO be Peter lmfaooo and HE DOESNT EVEN GO THERE!!!

Omg omega as a baker would be so cute!!! She loves to bake in poyt (but dumbasses keep flinging her brownies out of her hand 🙄) I can imagine businessman!Steve going feral for her bc she’s so cute and little in her pretty apron with flour all over it, and she’s got flour on her cheek and she bakes the BEST cakes and brownies and cookies and Steve stalks her and is in love with her and she’s so friendly and innocent but she doesn’t even know who he is PLS 😂😂

I LOVE THE IDEA OF omega as a model! But it would be a really harrowing, dark story. I can imagine her being forced into modelling from a young age to support her family. She’s super shy and naive but she got scouted at the grocery store or something and landed a photoshoot which gave her a bit of money (which her mom took) so now omega had to drop out of uni to support her family by modelling. And industry people keep wanting to take advantage of her bc she’s so trusting and cute. Buttt she’s not dumb so she’s also wary of all the attention she gets and she just wants to run away from it all. I can imagine smug Artist/photographer Steve wanting to fuck this cute lil innocent omega sooo bad and he manipulates her and takes advantage of her but of course, falls for her in the end in CLASSIC POYT STEVE STYLE

Besties which au is your fav!??

[gaymergal]

:3 happy pride 🌈 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

I unintentionally came out to my older sister (again) by wearing a piece of clothing.

💚💜🤍 😂 she remains the best

(Story followed by small spiraling below the cut 😃👍🏾✨)

Forever ago when I was in high school, I was only out as gay at school with friends. And didn’t come out to family until later (Highschool for me was 2004-2008 Bush era. And though my family is and has been very liberal leaning, we were also raised catholic which definitely fueled my personal hesitation to come out at home. Spoilers alert when I told my mom it went hilariously well)

One day after school myself and a pair of friends were at the mall, and the three of us bought a three piece matching friendship necklace at Claire’s on clearance that said roughly Best (star charm), Friends(heart charm), Forever(rainbow charm)

(90% sure that was the breakdown important thing is my section of the necklace had a rainbow charm)

It was like the only rainbow thing I owned, and I would wear it sparingly cause wasn’t 100% out. I had left the necklace on at home and my sister immediately clocked it and pulled me aside and asked if I was gay.

It was a very brief side bar conversation, I was in the kitchen and she literally pulled me into another room and was like “u gay? Your wearing a rainbow necklace”

“Uh yeah”

“Ok cool”

I never did a big announcement to family. Starting with my sister (actually, one of my brothers might have been the first family to know followed then by my sister🤔)

I just told family in one on one conversations as it came up, and eventually even extended family just knew I was gay.

(When I told my mom, because of the way I nervously started the conversation, on the verge of tears saying “i have something important to tell you” she thought I was teen pregnant and when I said I was gay she was like that’s it? That’s fine!)

Anyway! In 2020 with the support of my wife I experimented with pronouns and found that in addition to she/her I really do vibe with he/him pronouns (🥰 I am both her wife and boyfriend and absolutely love being called either)

I really only use he/him privately online and at limited irl queer gatherings and haven’t explicitly told my family (There is a hesitation that family might not fully “get” use of he/him pronouns and for now I’d rather keep it away from them for the time being. At this point its less of a fear of rejection and more of a…I don’t know how that conversation is going to go, and that gives me anxiety to bring it up and start a conversation about it.)

We just had our local pride weekend and I was wearing a pair of black socks that had stripes of green purple white at the top of them 💚💜🤍 for genderqueer and did post a family picture of me my wife and our son at pride to FB (socks visible) not thinking anyone in my fam would clock it.

Got a text from my sister yesterday: “Random question. What are your pronouns?”

Which prompted a phone call (that went super well :3 🥰)

At first she thought they were non binary colors and googled to confirm, but saw that the colors didn’t match but “knew it meant something” and then asked my niece (gen z theater kiddo) what the those specific colors represented. (Lol like straight up queer pop quiz style “hey green white purple, what’s that flag? 🤣)

When the dreaded “what do you want me to use for you” came up (idk why so much anxious, it is very much use one or the other or a mix, i genuinely like and respond to both. the only strong feeling i have is please don’t directly ask me which to use, or why he/him in addition to she/her)

It was a very quick, “so i can still use she/her”

“Yep”

“You sure?”

“Yep”

“well if that changes, I’ll just keep an eye out for new colors”

“🥲💖” (which I found to be very sweet!)

On the one hand, part of me is like, ah history repeating itself, just tell family as it comes up.

But with Pride and (:3 my first!) Father’s day coming up I am tempted to make a FB post just to set the record straight on my pronouns but, (anxiety)

Its weird, like I don’t necessarily feel like I’m in the closet as much as I did with being gay in high school. I’m not afraid of someone finding out. I don’t think my pronouns are something that needs to be kept secret. If asked I am comfortable enough to respond to the question, but the thought of anoucing them publicly is just a big no-no. 🙃

😅 Anyway!

🥳 happy pride! ❤️🧡💛💚💜💙💖

💚🤍💜 treating myself to an early father’s day hair cut tomorrow ✌🏾 :3

[reshirfuse]

UPDATE 8/5/22: $350/600

I'm going back an editing this post to update it with current events.

I want first to say thank you to everyone who commissioned or donated, the support means a hell of a lot, and i still have most of the money saved up for emergency. However the situation changed a bit.

My dad has entered around the midway point for his cancer treatment, and I'm the only other person in the house that can drive when my mom is working, and my dad is incapacitated. So I am currently trying to lay low at home and just help out as much as possible, and I've reached a busy period to aid in the the constant onslaught of procedures and damage my dad has to go through.

My immediate health and life is not necessarily in danger, however due to the high amount of tension and the constant changes and my dad's deteriorating condition due to chemo/radiation, means the emotional stability of my mom is very difficult to predict, and I have most of the cash saved up for this emergency purpose. However, hopefully that won't be necessary, and we can continue to finish my dad's treatment without a huge conflict.

For those who are planning to commission, or have commissioned me, expect delays till perhaps the end of August, as that's when his treatment procedures are expected to finish. However in the meantime, ive been keeping my head low and doing everything I can to make sure things go as well as possible for my dad, which has led to me being very busy. Thanks so much for the support, considering that during this time I can't really work or have time to do things for my own cash, so the money given to me has been a blessing.

I am still open to commissions and donations, as I do not know what the unstable future will hold, I still do not have enough for an emergency completely, and simply it really helps during a time where I cannot afford any other income. Again thanks so much for the patience and support, it really means and does a lot during this time

OG POST:

HEE HAW UM!! So I hate to do this but basically me and my friend @bakibears cannot live safely anymore with my mom ever since my dad has been diagnosed with cancer, as her stress is causing her to throw violent tantrums and ultimately make the entire household unsafe. I need help to weave some financial support to try and get tf Outta here hopefully Very soon.

(rest of the og post under the cut)

If i'm lucky, eventually I can be able to help my dad as well but it's hard to do that when my mom is... like this, and I hate to leave him when things are like this but I don't have much of a choice as things are.

I am opening up commissions, but as I cannot safely at the moment work from my desktop (my only functioning computer) I cannot guarantee how soon the turnover is going to be for digital artwork. I can more easily and accessibly access traditional artwork (my pens and markers) as they are mobile and can come with me wherever I need to go, although unfortunately I can't also guarantee the turnover rate because of turbulence, but i promise I will deliver when I am able.

Anyone interested in commissioning me please DM me here on tumblr or contact me via;

Sho-U#1193

reshidoesart@gmail.com

And anyone who wishes to donate:

Paypal: @syshima // reshirfuse@gmail.com

Ca$happ: $SkyriderShou

Any and all help is extremely appreciated yall i wish i can emphasize how grateful i am for anything through the ups and downs. any of the support that I've received over the years of being here im super thankful for, thanks very much for following me and liking the things I make 💖💜💙💛 I want to keep making things once im stable again.

[huntertherapyeras]

:O Ramble about your Amphibia Gymnastics AU.

FLAPS AT YOU OK SO.....

ok so this is a little less detailed than the toh gymnastics au bc ive had it stewing in the brainscape for less time BUT

basically its an artistic gymnastics au specifically. anne, marcy, and sasha have been doing gymnastics together since they were in kinder classes (so like 4/5)! and they all kind of move up together too, though sasha herself started at 18 months she didnt really like it at all at the beginning and didnt try until marcy and anne came along.

marcy was put in because she was really clumsy and had significantly delayed motor skills as a young child so her parents put her in it to help her coordination. sasha's mom is one of those Gymnast Moms vicariously living thru her child and is deadset on her being the very best (she wants her to go elite). anne's parents put her in it because she was a really hyperactive kid who like climbed all over the furniture and scaled walls and she kept trying to do cartwheels in their house and nearly breaking things so they were like 💀 you gotta get out of this house kid

i would say theyre all hm jo level 8 but they all have different specialties. also theyre all aware that at this point with their ages and ability levels they are Not going to be olympians but despite sasha's mom being in total denial about it they are ok with that! marcy's parents are pretty uninvolved and just happy that shes Active, and anne's parents are extremely supportive but often struggle with tuition and meet fees and the like so its kind of hard for them sometimes esp since theyre small business owners

back onto specialties-

marcy is very good at beam because it takes all of her focus and theyre very flexible (hypermobile in fact - she has hypotonia too) but she really struggles with bars due to not being as strong as their teammates. their lines on floor are also really pretty so her dance is good but she struggles with generating power (im totally projecting mind u). they also get injured all the time because her coordination issues and the fact that their connective tissue is just Not With It. shes the type of person who does a super graceful floor / beam routine and then trips and falls the moment theyve saluted walking off the mat or floor uwu (again. projecting). if you haven't guessed this marcy like all marcys is very autistic and adhd and gymnastics is one of her special interests which is why shes stuck with it so long even with her coordination issues and injuries 💜 marcy is also not very competitive and doesnt particularly enjoy competing but they love the sport and score very well on floor exercise and beam. she hates the way leotards feel and no matter how much she wears them they cant seem to get used to wearing them. oh also she is pretty short height wise and has very long limbs! they dont come out as nonbinary until maybe late high school

anne is a powerhouse! floor tumbling and vault are her specialties! she absolutely hates beam because flexibility and dance isnt her strong suit and she has trouble with focusing and applying herself when she isnt 100% into smth. her form is not immaculate, never has been, because she has trouble paying attention to detail (my girl has severe adhd 😌). bars is not her strongest event but shes much stronger than marcy upper body wise! she's also fairly tall (by gymnast standards - shes only 5'5) and had a growth spurt early on, so she towers over her teammates a little bit. she isnt insecure about her height though and likes that she is Strong and Fast. she isnt a perfectionist and doesnt really mind if she doesnt score as well as expected. most of the time she tends to ignore things that bother her to the point of detriment though, so she has gotten a few injuries - namely a broken arm caused by tumbling that didnt heal right because doctors are racist and didnt think she needed surgery right away. that has made bars a bit harder, but shes super stubborn and tries to not let it get in her way! oh and also shes a trans girl uwu (please let me know if im being stereotypical at all, this is mostly a brain storm and i am tme and dont want to hurt anyone) i am also aware that there are a lot of transphobic rules out there for athletes so i need to do some research as to how this would affect her ability to compete but in 2020 the usag rules changed to allow trans gymnasts to participate inclusively in gymnastics so i might just make it so in the fic that rule was changed earlier. ill think on it.

sasha is extremely talented. this being said, she has a mostly hate relationship with gymnastics. she loves her friends, and his mom wouldnt let her quit even without that, which is why he's stuck with gym so long. she really wants to be a cheerleader, but his mom wont let her do anything but gymnastics :( she also has significant body image issues and does struggle with disordered eating because of the perfectionism forced upon him. she eventually realized hes bigender but it... takes awhile. he actually gets really anxious before and during meets because she knows his mom is Watching and she can be... very easily disappointed. her best event is bars! hes super strong but also fairly flexible. she is also extremely short, like shorter than marcy short, and very Angy about it >:3

still deciding who owns the gym, but anne helps out with pre-k classes and wants to be a coach eventually. she's really good with kids ! sprig is on the boys gymnastics team (level 6 maybe???) and polly is competing jo level 2 this season. shes kind of a Prodigy and at only 5 is the youngest on team (little caveat: she still has super short arms and legs and she struggles with vaulting and tumbling just cuz shes still so small 😭 my tiny baby). oh and im considering making hop pop the team dance teacher bc of his performing arts bg idk....

andrias gets No Rights so he might not appear in this au idk for sure 💜 i dont like him 😌

olivia specializes in coaching beam, bars, and floor, and yunan prefers coaching tumbling and vault!

i think thats all the ideas i have rn... but i will come up with more 😌

[saiyanprincessswanie]

Mine - Part 1

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Word Count: 5,425

Series Warning: (N)ON/(D)UB CON, Swearing, Angst, (P)ossessive Behavior, Jealousy, (K)idnapping, Male (M)asturbation, (S)omnophilia, (D)rugging, Light (B)ondage, P-hysical Fighting, Rough (S)ex, C-hoking, Female and Male (O)ral, (B)reeding (K)ink, Multiple (O)rgasms, (F)orced (O)rgasms.

Please READ the Warnings!! These will be touched on throughout the series.

Summary: Steve didn’t mean to fall in love with you, his teammate, his friend. When Tony’s program shows that you are compatible in more ways then one Steve decides he wants out of the Avengers and is taking you with him.

What happens when he wants something more and you aren’t willing to take that leap of faith? Steve wants what is best for you and he will make sure that you have the life you deserve no matter the cost.

A/N: This story will be in the same Universe as Made For Me which features a dark!Bucky. This WILL tie into that story at times and will answer questions that people have been asking me.

I want to thank @music-culture-mythology, @hurricanerin and @jtargaryen18 for helping me, beta reading and letting me vent about this story. I have never written a dark!Steve so I was a little hard on myself. Thank you for supporting me.

Thank you @fictional-affairs for the BEAUTIFUL mood board! I love it!!

Reblogs & Comments on Tumblr are welcomed and encouraged. 😊💜

I do NOT give my consent to have my work translated or reposted on any social media platform, apps or third party sites. If you see my work anywhere else besides my personal Tumblr & AO3 accounts then it has been stolen. I will NEVER give written or verbal permission to repost or translate any of my fanfics as they’re MY intellectual property. 🚫🚫

From an early age, you had learned that life could be cruel and unforgiving. You could remember quite clearly the sound of your mother’s shrieks coming from downstairs. She had come running into your bedroom and had ushered you into the closet with the order to stay quiet and to not come out for any reason. That was the last time that you had seen her alive.

You could still remember the sound of her begging for mercy. Clutching your stuffed bunny to your chest, you had shut your eyes as her screaming turned into a deafening silence. 

You weren’t sure how long you were in the closet as time had stood still. The door to the closet was wrenched open and there before you stood a police officer. Scooping you up into his arms, the officer had tried to shield you from the bloody scene that had coated your room. 

Glancing over his shoulder, you had seen red everywhere and your mom’s lifeless body had been there on your bedroom floor. The officer had made his way down the stairs, still trying to shield you. Peeking once more over his shoulder, you saw two men in suits standing over your father who was on the floor, not moving. 

Everything after that had become a blur as you were whisked away. You had to wait at the police station for your aunt to come get you. You hadn’t understood then what had unfolded. It was only when you were older that you learned the truth: Hydra had slaughtered your family because your father had refused to work for them. 

Your father was a brilliant scientist. He had been close to replicating the super-soldier serum, but had discovered Hydra’s true intentions. So he fled with your mother, who was pregnant with you, to the countryside in hopes of never being found. Five years had gone by and Hydra was on its way to unleash its hellish wrath. 

Knowing that Hydra was coming for him, your father injected you with the serum prototype. He felt in order to save you and to keep his work safe this was the only logical way as Hydra didn’t know you existed and therefore wouldn’t know to look for you. 

As you got older you realized you had enhanced strength, speed and healing abilities. Not understanding fully what was going on, you had sought out the Avengers and that’s how you ended up at the Avenger’s Compound with them. 

Sipping your coffee at the island in the communal kitchen, you zoned out as your mind replayed that day in your head. You didn’t hear your name being called as you sat there, staring into oblivion. A hand touched your shoulder and you nearly dropped your cup.

“Y/n, you okay? I was talking to you, but you seemed lost in thought.” Natasha questioned, concern present in her tone. She took the seat next to you and set her cup down on the island.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking about… stuff. What were you saying again?” Trying to play off what happened, you chuckled but it sounded weak even to your own ears.

The redhead raised an eyebrow at you and continued. “I was saying that we need to go over the details for the mission tomorrow. I want to make sure you are comfortable with everything before we head out.”

“We can go over everything this afternoon.” Getting up from your chair you offered her a smile. “Right now I have to get to the gym before I get another lecture from Steve about being tardy.”

Downing the rest of your coffee, you placed the cup in the sink and ran towards the gym. Steve Rogers was a great friend and Captain to follow into battle, but he was a massive pain in your ass when it came to training. 

You always ran a few minutes late. It wasn’t like you planned it that way, you just got sidetracked. Every time you showed up late, you got a lecture, followed by him working you hard in training. He called it tough love, you called it cruel and unusual punishment. 

The gym door flew open and you came running through like a madwoman. You skidded to a stop in front of him and bent over, gasping for air. Sure enough, Steve was standing there with his arms folded. “You’re late.”

Looking up at the clock, you let out a groan. “It’s only one minute, Steve.”

“One minute could be the difference between life and death. How many times do I have to tell you this?” He stood with a frown on his face, staring you down.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him. 

Steve was not amused by your attitude. “Rolling your eyes just added another 10 minutes to your training. Now, if you are done acting like a child, let's get to work.”

Knowing better than to sass him back this early into the training session, you huffed and made your way to the middle of the gym to prepare for hand-to-hand combat. 

Your mind started to wander as you went through your stretches. What would Steve do if you sassed him in private? The thought alone frightened you considering how rough he was in training.

God, get it together! Stop thinking of him like that.

“So, you got back to the compound late.” Steve knew he sounded like a jerk as soon as the words left his mouth but he just couldn't get over his distaste for how you've been spending your time recently. 

“Is that jealousy I hear in your voice, Cap?” You couldn’t hide the smirk as you glanced at him.

“Not jealousy, just hoping you can keep up with me is all. Yesterday you were dragging and I need your best performance.” Steve hoped that would sound convincing. Of course, he was jealous that you went out with that creep of a boyfriend.

“Don’t worry, I’m ready and in tip-top shape. Who knows, maybe I can take you down today. Wouldn’t that be a sight?” You goaded him.

Steve stopped his stretches to look at you. “What are we playing for?” 

You straightened and placed a hand on your hip. “Well if I win, then I can show up late for the next two weeks and you can’t give me a lecture.” 

Steve couldn’t help the chuckle that left him. He knew that you would go for that. “I will agree to one week if you can pin me. As for me, I want to be able to spend time with you again. Like before you started to date that dunce.” 

Now, it was your turn to laugh. “He is not a dunce.”

Steve quirked his eyebrow at you, not looking amused.

“Okay, maybe he is sometimes. But, yes, fine I’m all yours if you do. Just know I’m not holding back.” You got into your fighting stance.

Steve lowered into his and smiled, “Neither am I, doll.” 

Tony was working in his lab, trying to put the final touches on the drugs he had made for Barnes. So far, everything was coming back positive and there were no complaints but he wanted to double-check. 

The drug to improve a woman's fertility and neutralize the effects of her birth control within a couple of days was working perfectly. The money-maker drug though, Tony smirked as he thought about it. Once the shot was administered, it would make a woman want, no, beg for sex. She would be so wet and wanting that she would be unable to control herself. The drug would allow anyone to keep up with the super soldier's appetite in bed.

He never knew he would be in the business of making such a thing but Thanos changed everything. Lives were altered, people changed emotionally, they developed the need to control their lives, their future.

The Avengers were tired. Most wanted to settle down and retire. Tony felt he owed it to his friends to help them as they had helped him in the last stand against Thanos. The hard part was finding the right one to fulfill their desires, hopes, and dreams. 

Steve wanted to connect with a woman on an emotional and intellectual level. He needed someone who understood his life and what he had been through. He also wanted someone to sate his lustful appetite. Steve was selective on what he wanted because he wanted a modern Peggy. 

He could see how the battle and the aftermath had worn on Steve. When Steve had insisted on returning the stones to their proper time, Tony had thought he would never see his friend again. But, Steve did return to the present time. Peggy had wanted him to settle down in his own timeline.

God, Peggy Carter. Tony rolled his eyes. According to Steve, she was assertive, independent, strong-willed, and caring. Peggy marched to the tune of her own drum and never let men push her around. 

Unfortunately, that was the reason the process was taking so long. There just was no one out there like Peggy Carter.

A beeping to his left caught his attention. Walking over to it, he typed in a few keystrokes and the readout flashed on the screen.

100% Match

Tony couldn't believe his eyes. It had taken longer to find a match for Steve then Bucky, but he finally did it. Who would have thought it would be their very own Y/n? Tony grinned; this could work.

Heading back to where the drugs were almost done synthesizing, he sighed. Tony was going to hate to see you leave, but this was for the best. There was only one problem: you had a boyfriend.

The mission would be the perfect window to see his two friends disappear. Tony would give the news to Steve before he headed out to meet Barnes at his cabin. 

Training went exactly how you expected it would. Steve pushed you hard through sparing but you could handle it. With every strike you dodged, a kick would follow. Back and forth you parried and punched. 

You were quick in your maneuvers against Steve but he was always a little bit faster than you. Spinning on your heel you threw a right hook and he blocked it with ease. Steve was the only one you could go toe-to-toe with due to your enhanced abilities. Huffing out in annoyance, you did a few backflips to get away and observed him. All you needed was an opening and you were sure you could take him down. 

The door to the gym opened and you caught Steve glancing away for a split second. That was all the opening you needed as you swept his legs out from under him. Steve landed on his back and you were on him instantly, straddling his hips.

“Looks like I won, Cap,” you panted from above him. Finally, you could say you got one over on h-.

Steve quickly reversed your positions and slammed you down, knocking the air out of you. 

How the hell did he do that? 

“Had enough, doll?” Steve smiled smugly. He watched as you gasped for air underneath him. 

“Am I interrupting anything?” Tony called out. 

Steve quickly stood up and reached down to help you up. Taking his hand, you got off the ground. “Jesus Steve, next time don’t be so rough.”

“Sorry about that, I got caught up in the moment. We are done for the day. Next time, just be on time.” Steve watched as you started to walk away from him. 

Spinning on your heel you smirked at him. “Show up at five after, sure thing, Cap.” Before he could say another word, you bolted out of the gym, leaving the guys behind.

Tony was chuckling, “You know if you didn’t nag her daily, I’m sure she would be early every day.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Give her an inch, and she will take a mile. Is there something I can help you with, Tony?”

Tony turned around to make sure no one was in the gym with them. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. soundproof this room until I say otherwise.”

“Yes, boss, protocol is now engaged,” the AI’s voice rang out.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Steve watched Tony cautiously. Something was up.

“I found your match. F.R.I.D.A.Y has been running tests nonstop, and I finally got a hit.” 

Steve’s eyes widened. They had talked about this for so long. When Bucky got a hit on a reproductive match with a woman that worked for Tony, he had acted happy for his best friend. In reality, it had made him depressed. Tony had been running genetics tests longer for him and could not find him a match. 

“What changed? Who is it?” Steve was desperate to know who she was.

Tony pulled his phone out and tapped a few buttons, causing a hologram picture of you to appear in front of Steve.

Steve looked at your smiling picture. “You have got to be kidding me…” Next to your picture, he saw the 100% match.

“Not kidding you pal. I double-, then triple-checked it. Y/n is your match. She had her physical a few days ago and had to do the standard blood work. Bruce ran a genetics test so we could have it on file.” Tony watched as his friend took in all the information that was just thrown at him. 

Steve couldn’t believe it. You were right under their noses all along. “When…I want out of the Avengers as soon as possible.” 

Tony smiled, “Tomorrow, the mission can always go sideways.” Tapping his phone, the hologram disappeared. 

“Soundproof disengaged.” The AI rang out again.

Steve watched as Tony left him in the gym. He could feel himself grow hard at the thought of finally having you. Steve’s perception of y/n's habit of lateness just changed from something he saw as annoying to something he could see himself punishing her for. Her sass would give him a reason to fuck it out of her.

He headed to his room to shower. So many emotions swam through his head as he made his way through the hallways. You both harmlessly flirted, but he brushed it off as you had a boyfriend. Maybe this was fate finally rewarding him with someone he was already attracted to.

But… That stupid, smug boyfriend of yours. Steve had heard the fights and wiped your tears away when the bastard broke up with you. But, by the next day, the asshole would be begging for your forgiveness and, just like that, you would take him back. 

Reaching his room, he walked in and turned the lock on his door. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, don't let anyone into my room while I’m in the shower.” 

Stripping off his clothes, he walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. To think he had just pinned you to the floor beneath him minutes earlier...

You had looked helpless as you gazed up into his eyes. Stepping into the shower, he was hard and wanting. He stood under the water and ran his hand over his length. 

Steve pictured you naked on his bed, waiting for him. Crawling slowly up your body, he would kiss every inch of you as you whispered his name. Up and down, he stroked. A gasp left his mouth.

He would spread your legs and settle between them. Slowly he would push into your wet slit, causing you both to groan out. Looking into your eyes, he would brace himself above you and take you apart. 

Slow, easy strokes at first as you whimpered for more. Every now and then, he would add a sharp thrust, making you moan.

“Harder Steve, I want it harder,” you would beg him, and he would oblige. 

His hand tightened around his cock, and he started to stroke himself faster. He could see you coming undone as he pounded into you. So close, he was so close to cumming. 

“Oh my god…..ah, ah, Steve!” 

Firmer, faster….

A few hard thrusts had you both falling off the edge as you shouted each other’s names. Opening his eyes, your image faded away and he was met by the tile in the shower. 

Steve rested his head against the shower wall as the water washed away his dirty secret. He couldn’t help but smile. Soon enough she will be mine. 

You were curled up next to Chris as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. His hand was softly caressing your thigh as he slowly pushed it into your shorts, lightly rubbing his fingers over your clothed pussy. 

A light gasp left your lips, “Chris stop, not here. Someone could walk in.” 

Chris was nibbling on your neck, “Shhh, just stay quiet baby. No one will suspect a thing once I slip my fingers….” 

Steve cleared his throat, causing you both to quickly separate.

You both turned your heads and saw Steve standing there with his arms crossed. He glared at you in disgust. “You know the rules, no funny business in the communal living quarters. No one wants to see that.”

You and Chris chuckled, “Steve, we weren't doing anything bad.” You watched him as he made his way to the refrigerator. 

“Not the point doll. It’s a respect thing, remember?” Steve huffed out in annoyance.

Chris couldn’t help but laugh at what Steve said. His head fell back and he clutched his chest as he snickered. “Chill Cap, it’s not the 1940’s anymore…” He continued to laugh and you knew what was coming next. 

Steve stormed over to you both and stood in front of Chris. “First off, it’s not “Cap.” Call me Steve or Captain Rogers. “Cap” is designated for friends, and last I checked, we are not friends. Secondly, show some respect. This is the Avengers’ home and we have rules. If you can’t follow them then get out.” 

You watched in horror as Chris got off the couch and stood toe-to-toe with Steve. “Wow, look at you. The big, bad Captain America has got his panties in a twist.” Leaning so only Steve could hear him, he whispered, “What’s wrong Cap? You don’t like that my hands were in her pants? Whether I fuck her here or in her bedroom, she will be screaming my name, not yours.”

Steve had had enough and brought his fist down on Chris' face, breaking his nose and who knows what else.

“Jesus, Steve!” You flew off the couch and put yourself between them. Looking to Chris first, you tried to calm him down and get a closer look at his nose. 

Chris shoved you back into Steve. “You are going to pay for this dearly Rogers. I will get a lawyer and sue you for everything.” He glared at you next, “You are just as bad as he is, always leading me on when the golden boy is about to walk into the room.”

Your face felt hot, whether from embarrassment or anger though, you weren't quite sure. “Chris, you need to leave. I will call down to our medical ward to fix you, but you have to go.”

“Siding with him, classic Y/n. Open your eyes, your friend Steve has been itching to get into your pants for the entirety of our relationship.” 

Your eyes widened, “What? That is absurd. Steve doesn’t want me like that, we are just friends.”

Turning to look at Steve, you watched as he stared Chris down with his dark blue eyes that screamed murder. 

Steve doesn’t like me, does he?

Turning back to Chris, “Let’s get you to the elevator. The health ward is on…”

Pulling away from you, Chris walked to the elevator, “I know what floor it’s on. This isn’t the first time this has happened.” The elevator doors opened and he walked inside. Holding the door open he looked to Steve, then you. “Choose. It’s me or him. I’m not doing this anymore.” 

The doors closed and you could feel the tears drip down your face. Chris wasn’t perfect, but you cared about him, right?

You felt Steve put a hand on your shoulder to comfort you but you pulled away. “Please don’t, Steve.”

“Doll, I…,” before he could finish, you ran towards your room, leaving him standing in front of the elevators. 

Downing another shot of rum in your room, your mind went a mile-a-minute. You were humiliated, angry, and confused by Chris’ ultimatum of either him or Steve. Steve was not only your friend, but your teammate. He had your back in battle and in life. Yes, you had been with Chris on-and-off for a year, but it didn’t mean anything. Did it? Pouring yourself another shot, you tossed it back quickly. This is why you hated dating, there were always ultimatums. 

Hell, you knew this was an easy choice. The team came first in your mind. The Avengers gave you a sense of comfort that you had never had before in your life. Chris was a distraction, at best. He cheated, lied and was only good for a quick roll around in the sheets. You cared about Chris, but there was no way you loved him, if you were being honest with yourself. 

Love, now that was a word that terrified you to your core. Four letters, one word, and a huge meaning that you couldn’t quite wrap your head around. The last time you loved someone, your parents, they were taken away from you. No, love was a cruel joke. 

Shaking the negativity away from your mind, you thought back to what Chris had said. ‘He has been itching to get into your pants for at least the last year we have been together.’ 

You would be lying to yourself if you said you had never thought about Steve during your sexcapades. Anytime Chris took you from behind, you closed your eyes and thought about Steve. What would he be like? No, damn it, Steve is your friend. Your Captain! 

A knock sounded on your door, and in walked Nat. “Y/n, are you ready to go over your mission?” As soon as she saw the rum bottle sitting on an end table, she knew something was up. She watched you pour another shot and down it. “I think you have had enough.” She grabbed the bottle from you and walked it over to your small kitchen area, placing it on the counter.

She walked back to you and sat down. “Want to talk about it?”

“Nope. Can you leave me to drink my sorrows away?” You sarcastically replied.

She smiled at that and looked at you, “Nope.”

Sighing, you knew you had to talk or she wouldn't leave you alone. So, you told her what had happened between Steve and Chris, the ultimatum you were given, and how you hated all men. Nat was a great listener, and one of your closest friends. 

After you vented your frustration she made you realize that Chris really was an asshole, and you could do so much better. She suggested a break while you focused on the mission at hand.

A break did seem like a good idea. Maybe after the mission was over you could re-evaluate your life. 

Nat grabbed you a glass of water to sober you up. "Now, why don't we go over the details for the mission?" You both spent the rest of the evening going over your mission for tomorrow. 

The mission was simple: you and Steve were to head out to do recon on a suspected Hydra hideout where weapons might be housed.

If all went well, you both would be back at the compound in thirty-six hours. Halfway through your surveillance though, something went wrong. Hydra had gotten word that Captain America was in the area. 

As soon as Steve was spotted, your cover was blown. Currently, you were fighting your way through Hydra agents. You always enjoyed a good hand-to-hand fight. You were quicker and stronger because of the serum. 

You were fighting two guys currently as you were separated from Steve. Glancing over your shoulder, the guy behind you made his move. Pivoting on your heel, you dodged his strike just as the other agent went to hit you with a stun baton. 

A scream tore through your throat as the electricity hit you. As he pulled back you swayed for a moment. When he lunged forward again, you grabbed his arm and broke it. Grabbing the baton you zapped him until he passed out. 

The second agent cocked his gun and had it aimed at your head. “Drop that weapon, girl, or I will have your brains scattered across the…”

Before he could finish, you watched the shield knock the agent out and soar behind you to its owner. 

You turned around and there stood Steve, shield in hand. “Are you okay y/n? I heard you scream out and I got here as soon as I could.”

Smiling weakly you nodded, “Yeah, the jackass zapped me. Hurt just a bit.” You swayed and Steve was at your side in two strides. 

“Here, let me help you.” Steve placed the shield onto his back and wrapped his arm around you. 

“I’m okay Cap, seriously I don’t need…”

Steve cut you off, “Damn it y/n, just for once let me take care of you.” 

You closed your mouth and nodded. Steve scooped you up in his arms and carried you back to the Quinjet in silence.

After a few minutes, Steve finally made it to the Quinjet and carried you up the ramp, going to the bed inside. Placing you down, he started to look you over for injuries. His hands pressed on your ribs and you hissed out in pain. Lifting your shirt, Steve could see the bruising that covered your right side.

“I should have been there for you,” Steve mumbled as he turned away from you. He didn’t get far as you grabbed his wrist.

“Steve, I’m an Avenger too, and whether you want to hear this or not, I can take care of myself.” You could see Steve was about to say something, but you yanked his arm again. “Let me finish. I do thank you though for saving me when you did. You always have my back when I need it most.” Your eyes stared into his deep blue ones and you gently squeezed his wrist.

“That’s my job, I’m supposed to take care of you. So now, let me finish, okay?” 

You nodded as you watched him get the first aid kit. He had you take your top off, leaving you in a bra. Slowly he wrapped an ACE Bandage around your rib cage. When he was finished, he grabbed a syringe filled with a green solution. 

“What’s that for, Steve?” You watched as he pulled the cap off the needle and flicked the syringe twice.

“This is going to help with the pain and let you get some rest while we head home.” Lightly grabbing your arm, he pressed it into you. Pulling it out, he placed the cap back on it and started putting the kit away.

You instantly started to feel drowsy from the injection. The pain thankfully was almost gone as your eyes kept fighting to stay open. Through hazy eyes, you watched as Steve helped you lay down. “It’s okay doll, just close your eyes. I will take good care of you once we get home.” 

That was the last thing you heard before you drifted off into sleep.

When Steve said he was bringing you home, he meant it. But it wasn’t to the tower, no, this is where you both would grow old together. He carried you into the country-style home that sat in the middle of nowhere. No neighbors, no distractions. Just you, him and the future that you would build together. 

He carried your sleeping form up the stairs to the master bedroom and placed you on the king-sized bed. Watching your chest rise and fall, he smiled. You were absolutely beautiful as you slept. 

Steve started to gently remove your clothes as you laid there motionless. You still had your eyes closed and seemed pretty out of it still but Steve carried on. 

You didn’t move much as he got you down to your underwear, but anytime he would softly run a hand against you, a light moan left your lips. Steve felt himself grow hard in his pants. He wanted you so badly, but could he take advantage of you in your current state?

Toeing the line of what was right and what he wanted, he decided there was no turning back. He stripped out of clothes quickly, leaving him naked before you. His mind was made up.

He crawled onto the bed and took your bra off. God, your breasts were beautiful. He ran his hands over each breast and slowly made his way down to your panties. Running his hand over them, he let out the breath he had been holding. 

The lace on them was soft and the blue color made him grin. It was like you had worn them just for him. He grabbed the sides of them, slowly pulling them down your legs. When they were off, he swore he was going to cum right then just by looking at your naked form.

Parting your legs, he ran a finger over your slit and felt how wet you were. The drug was doing exactly what Tony promised. He wished you were awake so your first time was perfect, but this would have to do for now.

He climbed between your legs and leaned over you. Gently he placed kisses on your lips, cheeks and down your throat. Grabbing his hard cock, he rubbed it against your slick folds. Steve let out a groan from the feeling.

Placing himself at your entrance, he slowly started to push into your tight channel. “Oh god,” Steve breathed out as he kept going until he bottomed out. He couldn’t believe how tight you felt around him. 

Steve rested on his arms and took a few breaths to stop himself from cumming too soon. Once he got himself under control, he pulled out to his tip and pushed back in. God, you felt so good to him. When he thrusted into you again, he heard you let out a small moan.

Fascinated by this he did it again and again. Picking up his pace had you groaning out in pleasure. On a particular hard snap of his hips, he heard something he didn’t expect. “Steve”…

You had moaned his name and it was music to his ears. Grabbing your legs, he pulled them up to his hips and started to go harder into you. Every hard thrust had you moaning or sighing his name.

This is what he had always wanted, from the day he first met you. There was no doubt in his mind that you were his. In his head, he chanted mine, mine, mine, with every push and pull. He wasn’t going to last long.

Doubling his efforts, he went faster and harder into you. Reaching down between you both, he found your pearl and started to rub tight circles around it. 

Your moans grew louder, “Steve, ah, ah, St-Steve!”

He felt you clench around him, signaling your orgasm. “Shit.” Steve knew he wasn’t going to last long. A few more hard thrusts had him spilling inside you as he shouted your name. Looking down at your flushed face made him smile. 

Slowly he pulled out of you and he watched his seed spill out. He went to the bathroom to clean himself up and he came back with a wet towel for you. Once he was done, he slipped your underwear on and pulled the covers over you. 

When you woke completely, he would have a lot to explain. You wouldn’t like what he pulled, but it was for your own good. You would learn that he knew best and would take care of you. For now, he climbed under the covers and wrapped his arm around your waist. 

[halo-eater]

At what age do you think its developmentaly appropriate for a kid to be left at home alone? Are there any longterm effects of a very young child being given a lot of independence early on? Really hope you feel better soon man 💜💜

This is a pretty complex question that there are a lot of different opinions about. So I'm just going to be saying what I think based on my experience.

Short answer: it varies from situation to situation.

Long answer: the primary thing you have to take into account is the kid themself. To use myself as an example, I was a very anxious and traumatized child. For most of my early childhood, it was just me, my mom, and our abuser, and then just me and my mom.

Without going into the details of everything, I developed pretty notable attachment and abandonment issues at a young age. None of my schoolmates were kind enough to me to provide me with any sort of peer support net. I didn't really go anywhere other than school. So my mom was literally the only consistent positive relationship I had, and in the past had been the one protecting me from dangerous situations. When you consider that stuff, I don't think it's all that shocking that I was extremely clingy to her, and became very distraught when I wanted her to be there and she wasn't.

I only became comfortable being left alone in the house when I was probably around 13, which is developmentally a pretty late age to start desiring that sort of independence.

But even though I became comfortable with being left alone much later than most people, it was probably a very good thing that my mom actually respected my wants and fears and enabled me to develop at me own pace. Because for someone with a profile like mine (traumatized and/or anxious by nature), being left alone before I was ready would have been such a scary and traumatizing experience that I think I probably would have actually been driven to become even clingier and more afraid of abandonment. It might have led to me distrusting my mom because my brain perceived her pushing me to be independent as her trying to abandon me.

On top of all that, you need to factor in the kid's ability level in various ways. Are they comfortable cooking for themselves? What about first aid if they get a little hurt? Will they be able to contact someone for help if they need it? Has it been drilled into their head to never open the door for strangers? Sometimes, kids are okay with being left alone (or even WANT to be left alone) before they're actually ready, and at that point it's the guardian's job to facilitate the learning of those skills.

Basically, in order for a kid to be left alone with as little risk as possible, they need to be both emotionally and practically ready to be self-sufficient for at least however long you're planning on leaving them alone. I personally think that, for most kids, ten-ish is an appropriate age to start leaving them alone in the house for hour-or-more periods of time, but again, it's super case-by-case.

In terms of whether or not there can be long-term developmental damage from being left alone too much as a kid, yes, absolutely! Children need the proper amount of social interaction and interpersonal support in order to develop healthily. Some common consequences of not having childhood social needs met are social skills deficits (as a result of not being provided with sufficient examples and practice situations to learn social skills), hyper-independence (as a result of not being able to trust others to meet your needs), attachment issues (being traumatized from being left alone and not wanting it to happen again), poor emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills (as a result of not receiving proper soothing in early life), and more!

An extreme example of long-term damage from childhood neglect is the Attachment Disorder spectrum. Attachment disorders are very severe mental disorders caused by failure to form human connection in infancy and early childhood. Attachment disorders cannot be cured, and while they can be treated to an extent, most people with attachment disorders will never go on to thrive. While it's a spectrum with nuance, people with an attachment disorder generally fall into one of two categories, Reactive Attachment Disorder or Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder.

RAD is characterized by the sufferer having an extremely difficult time forming human connections and navigating social situations. They usually don't have any interest in engaging with other people, and generally aren't able to conduct themselves appropriately during social interactions, sometimes to an extreme degree that can go as far as physical aggression towards the other person.

DSED is characterized by, well, having little to no inhibitions during social engagements. This often looks like being completely unaware of proper boundaries in any given relationship, being ready to put full trust in pretty much anyone, becoming extremely and obsessively attached to people very easily, and not being able to discern what may or may not be socially appropriate for a situation. Both RAD and DSED come with non-interpersonal symptoms as well that can also be devastating.

I'm sorry that I couldn't give you a super exact answer, but these are my thoughts on the subject! I hope that you learned something/found any of that interesting!

[storiesofsvu]

So I stayed up to read censured and I just want to say IT WAS PHENOMENAL!!! so so so good!! you wrote about an ed so accurately and respectfully and soft protective concerned Rita was a huge bonus. I’m seriously obsessed with your work

Thank you SO MUCH!!!! I absolutely LOVE Censured (and after getting multiple notes on it this morning I totally read it first thing after waking up today 😂) there’s just so much wonderful about it, the friendship with Casey, how they slowly start to get to know each other but are comfortable with each other right away, the way it sparks something *new* within Casey that she wants to explore, the Aunt Rita who’s part chaos part super caring, I ADORE the relationship with Sonny, he’s just so supportive of her!

And child, let me tell you, it is because I lived it. Censured is the closest story to my real life (obviously it is all embellished). I was lucky enough to never have been hospitalized or had to go to a centre, hell my Mom has no idea it was even going on. But I grew up dancing/doing gymnastics and have had horrible body dysmorphia basically from puberty onward. I was at least a year older than everyone on my gymnastics team so that hit hard, and obviously dancers/performers have a typical type of body and I was overweight. I started to take control after I graduated, it helped being in control of my own food when I travelled to Aus for 3 months, realizing what was actually healthy, but through my 20’s my workouts became obsessive, I started my D*sney audition hell and that fucked with me even more. Not to mention I’ve always been large chested, even when I was 120lbs, DD’s still there, which gives the illusion that I’m bigger. Between that and working out 6-7 days a week, it got obsessive, a stage manager at work said “you’ve gained at least 10 pounds since I started” literally unprompted to me while I was minding my own business (yet it took him another 3 shows before he was fired) and that sent me into a stage of bulimia where everytime I ate something unhealthy, I’d puke it back up, thinking “oh it’s fine cause I’m just puking up the dessert I ate, not the healthy food from earlier). I was at a healthy stage when i lived in Vancouver but I constantly STILL thought I was way overweight. Flash forward to now and I’m 60lbs above that (and honestly, 60lbs overweight but like, this shit is hard during the middle of a pandemic....)

ANYWAYS. It’s a constant struggle and never fucking ends. So, I get it. And this story was a way to represent it for a while. I originally had no idea I was going to include it in Censured, I just needed some kind of conflict/angst and then I realized it fit and made sense as to why yn was a cop instead of pursuing performing. It wasn’t until I was halfway through writing the pass out scene that I remembered that literally almost happened to me at work one night (this was a case of get up at 3pm, pick up a subway sandwich, eat half of it while opening the bar at 4:30, order food from the kitchen around 7, it doesnt get made and then mixed with anxiety....cue a near faint...)

Thank you so much!!! I’m glad you’re enjoying them!! 😊 💜 💜

[musicallisto]

babe i opened read more on your post expecting like a typical list with idk basketball and stuff but oh my god you’re so cool you put everyone to shame myself included

LIKE i scrolled through it and all i could think of was like holy shit okay that’s a cool sport okay i don’t know that one oh wait omg you’ve done this one damn okay slay

ISTG YOU’RE A REAL LIFE GIRLBOSS PROTAGONIST??? femme fatale typa beat or the muscle character that’s also the brains you’re literally the entire package

honestly if you don’t hate me rn you definitely would if we were put into any athletic team LMAOOO cos when i was in 4th grade there was this sports fest shit in our school so we all had to pick at least one sport to participate in

… i went with volleyball and while we were training i didn’t know we were supposed to use our forearms so when the ball got passed to me i used my fucking thumbs 😭

unsafe to say that my thumbs swelled up so badly for like a week haha stupid bitch core i believe !!! even tried volleyball training and i had a crush on this guy who was one year older than me and his dad was the coach and he was super nice to me it was stupid bro was like “you never know maybe i’ll see u on tv playing volleyball”

LIKE BRO I’M ON LIFE SUPPORT WHENEVER I DO ANYTHING ATHLETIC WYM BUT THANKS dude tried to hmu through an old friend of mine who he’s friends with but anw i got tea about that friend of mine she never rlly went to class but always posts pics of her and her bf together IDNXJEIW was harder cos we were groupmates about this research we had and she never contributed anw i asked another friend if the guy was nice but nope he isn’t so i got a bit mean…,,,,’cnc ..,

ANYWAY ANYWAY TELL ME MORE ABOUT UR BALLET ERA PLEASE although yea i’d feel the same abt the entire thing too :(( but you having the name clara while also knowing ballet is so !!! butterflies omfg cos of the nutcracker and everything srsly i feel like giving you a nutcracker for christmas would be so cute has anyone ever done that yet???? because they should

my god i’m sorry for this long message that turned into me spilling some tea i get distracted and i also got excited YOU GET IT JOWLQLAjsisoIWOA why am i not allowed to put readmore on a post this is absurd

ajzcbjsqbu Ves i love getting your asks so much they're always such a wILD RIDE I love it <333 with the right dose of gossip too <3

but lmfaoo I'm not as cool as you make me out to be I promise! I'm mostly utter garbage at all these sports anyway so this is really me showing the extent of my incompetence, we would be the athletically inept queens every class deserves <3 just girlies getting injured at volleyball you love to see it <33

and!! I love that crush story omg are you kidding? you always have the best tea to spill about your classmates ajscbsjqb oh to be at your school and know everybody's business... i would be unstoppable bc I'm never involved in any drama but I know everyone's and that makes me redoubtable. and i'd be playing matchmaker with you and all your crushes of course lmao

I'm sorry to disappoint though but I really don't remember anything about my ballet era, rip. I vividly remember the dance studio and the bar where we stretched, I remember training to dance on pointe (my favorite thing!! i felt like so graceful!!) & returning home to show my mom the steps I'd learned, I also remember none of the girls talking to me and the teacher trying to cheer me up but I was entirely socially inept and could not make any friends to save my life, rip. it's making me regret ever quitting, imagine the power I would have rn if I'd been a ballet dancer named Clara....... which btw I had never made the connection with the Nutcracker, and neither has anyone in my family! bc no one offered me a nutcracker for Christmas and you are so right bestie that's an amazing idea!! 💜

[daddys-chaton-noir]

First of all, thank you for being such a wonderful person. (I asked about advice) Soo! There's this guy that I have known for about a year now, we met on OkCupid while I was in his city, visiting friends lol. We were going to go on a date when I was there, but timing never worked out, he ended up in the hospital because he has chronic pancreatitis and is pretty much in/out of the hospital always. Well we have kept in contact for the most part, and both have dated other people. But a few (1/?)

Months ago he got back in contact with me like more frequently than he had been bc he and his then gf broke up after like a week or so. And anyway, he has pretty much asked me to move there - has offered to pay to transport me and my little girl there (yep, I have a baby that isn’t his, she’s three months old) and this is a 22 hour drive. Something i def don’t want to do with a small baby. I made the drive by myself once just fine bc it was just me but this is a whole other person and (2/?)

I am just not super excited about ever making a drive like that especially since it’s still winter where I live rn. And tbh I’m not even sure if I want to do that because we have never met in person or even talked on the phone etc. I know he’s not a catfish, but I feel like he’s tryin to fill a void or something since he’s sick. But he told me he loved me??? And I’m just like attention yes please??? (Why am I so needy and fucked up) but ANYWAY I’m rambling. I don’t know what to do. We (3/?)

Don’t really have that much in common that I know of, bc he doesn’t really talk a lot but I prob wouldn’t if I was in a hospital bed a lot under pain meds. I’m just super concerned. Like omg. I have family where he lives that want me there too, but I have my mom here and she’s the biggest helper with my little baby, since I’m living with her and my dad and sister again. I just don’t Know what to do. I wanted to move there before I got pregnant but again, timing. Ughhh help? Thank you for everything

No, thank you for the compliment & thank you for being wonderful.💗

That is a really tough situation! I guess you have to ask yourself what would benefit you & kiddo the most?

Your mom is your biggest helper & you’d be leaving that support behind, but if there’s family that lives in the same area as this guy, maybe they would help out? That’s something to consider.

& it sounds like you guys don’t quite have fireworks & I don’t know if I personally would move for anyone unless we had fireworks going on.

Plus, since you guys don’t know each other very well, I’d be careful of moving out to/in with someone, b/c you don’t know if they’re suddenly going to decide that what you guys have, your relationship or arrangement isn’t working, leaving you kinda stranded somewhere alien.

I certainly wouldn’t recommend moving without having spoken with him extensively, including but not limited to on the phone & some form of video calling. You need to learn who this person is before any big decisions are made tying you together.

Also, it sounds like you’re making that drive by yourself with a baby in the winter? You don’t sound confident about it, so honestly I’m leaning toward you don’t want to do it.

I assume one of the pros for moving out there was him offering you your own space, instead of living with your parents. But in the event, he ends up deciding you can’t stay there, would you be able to take care of yourself & baby?

The only advice I can really give is to ask yourself what you want & if it’s achievable & how that looks & does moving give you that, with the consideration that the offer comes from someone you don’t know well or even particularly enjoy.  

Also, whenever I have to make a decision, I try to think of what would be the most beneficial, what would make me the happiest, what decision would I be happy with in the long run.

I hope this helped. I’m sorry I can’t give you a concrete answer, but hopefully this will help give you something to think on that’ll help you find your way to what will work best for you.

Which of course is much easier said than done.

Feel free to message me directly if you’d like. I hope some clarity is on its way. 💜