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#and her parents. Want Her To Be Safe? That's Literally It
n7punk · 3 days
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Unhinged Instagram Lives Era Fic Notes:
Ok these are small because I TRIED to just put everything in the Author’s notes because it wasn’t supposed to be a “real” project 😭 but I’ve got a few things to say about UILE.
Playlist is just The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn't album by XANA.
Chapter 1:
⦁ Catra was planning to end up with somebody at the end of the night and Adora was lowkey her top choice, so she texted her when she decided she was done with the party she was at and hadn’t found anything else she wanted to do.
⦁ Catra just straight up misheard Adora in chapter 1 and because she never asks she literally never finds out she didn’t say kitten
Chapter 2:
⦁ I swear Catra really isn’t an alcoholic, she just doesn’t mind alcohol, is around it constantly, and has people buying her drinks in addition to have plenty money on hand, so she found she was doing it a lot and realized she needed to be more intentional about it when discussing it with her therapist.
⦁ Not that it literally ever comes up or matters, but Faith’s sister played drums on the Grammy-winning album.
Chapter 3:
⦁ Catra was kinda wrong about how Adora’s management would feel about their connection, so it really was an issue for them to come out, especially because Adora was transitioning her image to include more… well Catra vibes, if we’re honest, which she called maturity in almost the opposite way Catra’s music was becoming more mature. Adora was getting freer and more horny, while Catra was getting happier and more responsible, but overall Adora’s image didn’t change nearly as much as Catra’s did, and even Catra’s was a gradual shift.
⦁ So it was supposed to be a one shot. Then I had the idea for chapter two and was like fuck ittt. Then I had the idea for chapters 3 and 4 and I was like cool good ending 👍 So that’s lowkey where I consider the end of the fic, but my brain wouldn’t shut up, which is how chapter 5 happened even though I consider 4 a solid ending. And Chapter 6 oh my god I swear. I need to stop thinking about this fic at 1AM.
Chapter 4:
⦁ Adora’s parents are dead, Mara took her in as a kid but she’s just a few years older and it was hard on everybody involved. Also, her full name is Grayskull, management just thought that was too “hardcore” for her genre so they shortened it, and even though her last name does mean something to her unlike Catra, Adora ended up liking that distance between what the public owned of her and her private life.
⦁ Catra’s fans are used to and fond of her antics. She calls it living life to the fullest in interviews and she’s not getting into a lot of controversies or breaking the law (at least not laws that matter) so it really isn’t going to affect her appeal either way if she shifts away from it, but it’ll make some people feel old when she eventually gets asked about cutting back the partying an interview. Other people will say it’s about time.
⦁ When Catra does get into controversies it’s usually shit like blowing someone off, being unafraid to insult someone she feels deserves it, or taking over a party like she did the bar. That’s the modern day rockstar stuff, which is a marketing term she doesn’t use herself to the public but that definitely comes up in a lot of coverage of her.
⦁ Conversely, Adora tries to keep her life private and she’s astonishingly successful given her numbers but stuff spills out, mostly in her dating life, because it was a little messy pre-Catra. She did earnestly attempt some relationships, but they were failed attempts and that left some messy exes.
⦁ Catra hasn’t like, actually had sex in public, but there’s definitely been some extremely horny making out in front of people at clubs and exchanges that people with shame would keep behind closed doors. Despite all outward appearances, Catra needs a safe environment to feel comfortable having sex, so she has some standards, she just tries to seem like she doesn’t.
Chapter 5:
⦁ Normally I headcanon Catra as having a really sharp memory for Pain reasons but for both trauma and sobriety reasons she really doesn’t remember much of her burn-down year, which is when she and An dated, and she meets a lot of people literally every week, so at a certain part they get away from her.
"Chapter" 6:
⦁ “lake at the bottom or our river” is a XANA lyric and “unhappy in Manhattan” is a Chappell referenced queen you SERVED at the VMAs.
⦁ I did the capitalizations purposefully here with CATRA used when talking about her music and Catra used when referring to her as a person.
⦁ When I first wrote An I was not intending this bonus scene to exist but it didn’t make sense to invent another ex for it, so I just gave An a really, really bad day. The meltdown was mostly about everything else happening in her life, honestly, but when she saw she was being filmed she assumed she was recognized because of that and she snapped. I support women’s wrongs she was justified.
⦁ Catra and Adora’s fans do, generally, support their relationship. Both of them have come up with ways to call the other toxic so those subsets always exist, but this post really was about an outlier situation that got blown out of proportion on stan twt and wouldn’t have been that big of a deal/worth a post if the 7/11 incident hadn’t happened. I just really like r/HobbyDrama (when it’s good).
⦁ I love how extremely obvious “Hardcore CATRA stan’s” bias is when describing Catra versus Adora lol.
⦁ The link goes to the photo on Tumblr, but if you actually searched for the Twitter image url listed it would take you toa video of Megan thee Stallion at the VMAs. And the link… well c’mon yall I was goofing :3c
⦁ Lonnie made the pie chart Catra ended up posting to make fun of her while they were working on her latest album. Catra hasn’t actually fact-checked it so it’s wrong in some regards but close enough. It’s also a pie chart pulled directly from my writing tracking spreadsheet, though I manipulated some of the values first. Catra would Not have gone to the effort of making this, the only reason she replied at all is because Lonnie sent it to her literally last week and she thought it was funny, and also wanted the (small subset) who were bitter about her finding happiness to get ratio’s appropriately. It bothers her when people try to make Adora out to be toxic, that’s HER girl, excuse you.
⦁ There’s always that one annoying comment at the bottom of the post that then totally unrelated discourse breaks out in the replies on and that’s what happened with that last comment. Also jjaj10 is for Aly & AJ’s recent 10 year album anniversary this summer.
⦁ Catra goes for the slightly subtler “GOD.DESS” title for her next album (her albums are all stylized in all caps) which is mostly about how fucking amazing her or Adora are in various respects (include sex) with a few “bad bitches have bad days too” moments (Megan the Stallion you are iconic). The cover art is centered on Adora, actually, who’s sitting on their sex bench dykespreading in pants and a tight tank top showing off her arm muscles and serving face to the camera while Catra drapes over her wearing black leather and posed with her leg slipping between Adora’s. It’s subtle but the kink people in their fandoms immediately identify this photo was taken in a Very Private room in their home and once they say it everybody knows that’s not a workout bench even though tbh it looks like one in the shot. They knew that was going to happen or they wouldn’t have done it, Catra literally has an S&M-type song on the album. They’re really just living their best lives at this point.
⦁ It is not… impossible that I add to this fic more in the future, and if so it would be tacked on the end but could conceivably by non-linear, i.e. scenes taking place during or before the main fic itself and not just following it.
⦁ I used a modified version of this public work skin for the reddit post.
And now, to humiliate me, here is a list of sentences that were supposed to be the last sentence of the fic when I wrote them (all of which are the final sentence of their respective final scene):
CH1: “Maybe she will release the song after all.” [next to last scene] (then I started writing in the notes that they did do the jam session, etc, and I realized I should just put that in the fucking fic)
CH1: “If Adora wants to put that song they wrote together on the radio, she’ll certainly see Catra in her bed a lot more frequently if only because Catra will get a constant reminder of what she sounds like when she’s moaning for her.” [last scene] (okay it’s a completed one-shot now, cool, what’s that, it’s a party scene coming in with a steel chair-)
CH2: “Maybe her therapist will be proud enough to make up for the disappointment of the drink.” [last scene] (ok two chapters for fun, if I get more ideas maybe- shit I already have more ideas)
CH3: “Maybe Catra wants to know what it would actually be like.” [last scene] (hey that’s a nice wrap-up point. Lol I bet Adora’s introduction to Catra’s scene is- fuck here we go)
CH4: “It’s somebody else’s loss if they don’t like what that does for her.” [last scene]
CH5: “Not when she’s coming home to her arms every night.” [first scene] (ok this one’s interesting because I very quickly had the idea for the Adora interview because I looooooove writing interview scenes after the cat’s out of the bag so originally, I tacked that onto the end of the chapter, and then I had more ideas and separated the interview and the new scenes into their own thing)
CH5: “Faith can stay mad they’re having amazing sex and putting out chart-toppers.” [last scene] (again the fic was supposed to be DONE but I wrote this write before bed and as I was lying there not falling asleep I wrote the stupid hobbydrama post in my head and just. Sighed and picked up my phone to take notes)
And then, finally, the actual final sentence at the end of Chapter 6. I’m exhausting even to myself.
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philtatosbuck · 2 years
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the sooner we (read: you people) realize kie’s parents aren’t shitty for wanting better for her the sooner we can be normal
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months
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Daddy, don't go.
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thefirstlioveyou · 14 days
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controversial or whatever but people get so annoying when they decide to share their whiny opinions about wheelers taking focus in s5
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deathsmallcaps · 2 months
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I work as the person in an amusement park who watches the children who get lost. Here’s some advice. This also applies to any mentally disabled adults that are under your care. Keep in mind that many places will not look for a minor ages 13-17 unless it is close to closing or they are disabled, as corporate considers it a strain on resources and employee use.
1. Teach them your phone number. Best gift you can give them. I’m not supposed to have my phone out at work but I can cut down dependent’s being-lost-time by probably 400% if I can contact you. It also assures the children That We Are Doing Something and that They Are Helpful and Smart. If your dependent has a poor memory, apparently writing your phone number in sharpie and then covering it in nail polish makes it stay all day, even if they’re sweaty or getting in the water. I haven’t tested this but I’ve heard a lot of moms recommend it. I’ve also seen bracelets with little plates or the beads saying the phone number.
Addendum: your dependent may tell you that they know your phone number, but they actually only know your passcode. True story. This summer has been a lot better, but last summer exactly one child the entire season knew his mom’s phone number.
2. Acknowledge that dependent’s memories are faulty, especially in new places. If you tell them to meet you in X spot or that your stuff is all in Y place, they may not remember where it is or remember how to get there.
3. All dependents, but especially little ones, have shit time sense. They might find your stuff, wait there for a minute or two, and truly believe that they’ve been there for an hour. Half the small kids that are brought to me are ones who *know* where their stuff is, but haven’t seen an adult they know personally in 5 minutes, so they’re going to panic.
4. Don’t take naps!!! And don’t let your dependent go anywhere you can’t go or at least go where you catch them at the end!!! Yes you’re staring at the play structure your dependent entered, but can you see them? No? Then there’s a good chance they went elsewhere. So many of the littler kids that are brought to me are brought by genuine, good-hearted strangers who see lost children and take them by the hand. Away from the spot you’re napping in front of/staring vaguely at.
5. This might just be something from my work, but we will not call dependent’s descriptions over the loudspeaker. This is because if an asshole were to see your dependent, hear the description, know it’s a lost dependent, and decide to steal it, they can then use the excuse, “I know where your guardian is! Come with me!” And then lead them out of the park or toss the dependent over their shoulder. Do you know how many crying and screaming dependents leave the location every day? A lot!!! We’re a fun location!!! We’re not going to know if the dependent is screaming because they don’t want to leave or if a stranger is taking them away. We might call the description over the loudspeaker if it’s past closing time and the dependent still isn’t found. But before that, we will only report it over secure radios across the park.
6. Tell a park worker right away. Preferably someone with a radio. Even if you spot the dependent within the next minute, that means the dependent will have less being-lost time. Especially if we already have the dependent with, you guessed it, me. Also please tell us when you find the dependent.
7. Take a picture of your depdendent at the start of the day! That way security guards can have a good idea of what to look for. One mother told me her daughter was blonde and showed me a picture. Her hair color looked brown to me, but then I knew what to look for in the crowd.
8. Keep at least one person in your group in one spot at all times, especially if you don’t have access to your phone or forgot to give out your phone number to the guards. That way they can find you if they pick up the dependent. If you are the only person in your group, then PLEASE stay in one place or at least stay with ONE security guard. It sucks for the dependent if they can’t find you right away even if the both of you are looking for each other and a guard is helping them. You are NOT helping if you panic and run around. And keep your goddamn phone on you and answer calls from unknown numbers!!!!! God. This is a good time to do that.
9. If you lose your dependent in an attraction like the lazy river at a water park, and you have that ONE person staying in place, then this is what you can do with 1+ mobile people.
A. If only one person can be spared to be mobile, have them pick a spot and stay right there, watching the river go by. Eventually, if the dependent is in the river, they’ll go by.
B. If you have two people that can be mobile, both start at the same place in the river and go opposite directions. If you meet up again without spotting the dependent, well, they’re not there.
C. If you have more than 2 people, you can do B but also station different adults at the lazy river entrances/exits.
10. Don’t blame the dependent! Even if they ran away and/or are pissy that you’re upset once you all reunite, trust me, there’s a 99% chance they’re upset too. Yes, this is a good time to have a serious conversation with them. Yes, if this is a repeated problem, and/or you warned them you’d leave the park if this occurred, you should not back down. But also - they’re dependents. They’re not stupid, and they should be told consequences and dangers so they can make good decisions, but they will never have the adult/guardian perspective that you do. Be kind.
Also please for my sake teach them if they’re brought to someone like me, that it’s THEIR job to be safe and listen to me while us park workers look for you. It’s YOUR job to find the dependent, not the dependent’s job to find you. I had a six year old little girl genuinely toddler-howl at me because she wanted to go look for her mom. I’ve never before heard a kid her age howl like that. I can trick kids out of crying 9/10 times but howling came as a surprise lmao. I think I can manage it now that I’ve experienced it but damn.
Also make sure those kids are DRINKING. Being in a water park is NOT the same as drinking water. They should be drinking every 15 minutes at LEAST, I am NOT kidding.
Also if I call you to tell you your kid is here, please don’t call or text me back after you have the kid. I’m sure other places have phones for these types of things but the only one I have is my personal phone. And I am happy to get the kid off my hands and into your arms, but I’m using my personal phone so plz. Don’t call me back. Absolutely call me if you need directions to my ‘office’ in the park. Don’t call or text me after. I have stories about that hoo boy but this post is already long.
#I am not exaggerating when I say howling#not in a wolf way more like a howler monkey if you have no idea what human toddler cries sound like#I like kids of all ages but there’s a reason why#I’m not going to teach elementary school#I am the person in the *place I work* where if a kid is lost#the staff brings the kid to me until the parents are found#so like. I’m never going to see these kids at their best#I wish I could just hug them but I’m barely allowed to hold their hand if I’m escorting them to get water#this time of year their emotions are heightened by the fact that they’re almost certainly dehydrated#but if they’re a flight risk I do NOT want to risk losing the kid#so I have to wait until#a coworker comes by to get them some water sometimes#the howler girl = this kid#this kid was reunited with her mom without too much time going by thank god#she was a huge fucking flight risk omg#she desperately wanted to go find her mom and I’m like#GIRL you are the lost six year old ITS YOUR MOM’S JOB TO FIND YOU!!! Your job is to stay safe!!!#and color this pretty picture oh god please look back at the coloring page instead of calling upon the hounds of hell#I like to assure every kid that is brought to me that#1. mom’s (or whoever) not going to leave without you (sometimes this is a lie judging from the parents.still very important to tell kids thi#2. they did the right thing asking for an adult’s help#3. as they are literally a kid it’s not their fault they’re lost (again a little debatable with the older kids but still they’re minors)(so#I tell them all this)#4. it’s their job to stay safe while we find your mom#5. now do you want some water?#it’s more obvious in the pale kids but I’ve had so many Black and Brown kids come up to me the last couple days looking positively pink#those kids needed water. so I try to get everyone water#it pisses off my coworkers but idgaf. everyone has a legal right to water in this state esp in the summer#and even if they didn’t#fuck you I’m stealing it. these kids need water
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bpdamn · 16 days
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not my mom giving me the silent treatment even now that i‘m an adult. lol but not so lol i guess
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runawaycarouselhorse · 2 months
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This thread from the CPTSD subreddit about the overabdunance of cheap junk food, but little healthy food (and the weird poverty mindset leading to parents guarding food until it spoils and screaming at anyone who eats [too much] of it or acting like they were planning to eat it, but if you don't eat from it, it gets thrown out) is so illuminating.
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4arconinoma · 1 year
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By the way Trish was hoping the entire time to hear some sort of comfort from Bruno and felt upset by his cold and detached demeanor because he's the only person who served as some sort of familial figure and offered her any amount kindness or protection And he did want to say those things to her and when he finally DID offer words of comfort it wasn't ACTUALLY Trish and he only Thought it was Trish and she never got to hear him say those things to her and he has no idea he never got to tell her. Just so you know
#jjba#txt#When i was rewatching Vento Aureo and realized this it made my stomach drop#So you will have to know too#im so normal about this im so normal#Listen i hate mommy bruno characterization like i really really do but#Not only does this disprove it (He shows a cold demeanor to the gang members to try and avoid attachment and provide stability in times of#emotional desperation and not some sort of motherly figure like the fandom tries to say he is instead of a MAFIA GANG LEADER)#I also do think the one familial sort of attachment present is him and Trish. This is not the mom thing#Its just quite literally she has no one else to rely on. The elevator scene she was so scared of meeting a father who's intentions she does#t even know And Bruno is so young but he is the only adult figure she can rely on there. Perhaps its not parental but familial in other way#Either way hes the only person that can support her in that situation and shes frustrated that hes acting cold#But the thing is he has to act cold because he has to keep it together and i bet he didnt want her to become attached to him at first in th#t way PROBABLY mirroring his childhood as well he wanted to keep her away from this sort of lifestyle and not have her be associated with#him or the gang so that she could live a safe life#But i imagine he realized at some point that she has no one else BUT WHEN HE FINALLY TOLD 'HER' THINGS TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER#IT WASN'T HER HE THOUGHT IT WAS BUT IT WASN'T AND THEY'RE NOT GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN#This connection never got to grow They don't know this about the other. He never got to say these things and she never got to either#im so sad Im so sad#So like i said this is the only familial thing I think Bruno has going on.#I see Bruno as more of a cool uncle or brother though. I cant see him as a parent. He is so young. Everyone forgets this#But either way he would be the only caretaker that she has. But they didnt get to have that chance#Its just heartbreaking#Im so sad#YOUVE HAD NOTHING BUT HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU. BUT YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO ENJOY A NEW LIFE. HEAD IN HANDS
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magdaclaire · 1 year
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my parents being fucking weird has ruined so many of the activities queers typically salivate over
#my mom and dad used to go axe throwing with my aunt and uncle once a week#my uncle built a forge out of cinder blocks in my backyard and we moved it with us after for like ten years#my dad forged for a long time#even like. making and serving alcohol or some shit. my dad is an alcoholic who used to make his own mead#cottagecore ass lesbians?? my mom was an apothecary and my dad has always had a garden#dark academia ass gay people? my parents get into ethical debates to pass the time when they're in line in stores#art or singing or dancing? my mom was a theatre major her first time through college. we do that here#my mom used to customize jeans for her friends free of charge bc she could just draw on them to stim during long conversations#my siblings and i split up roles in musicals before we start them bc of my mom#dancing is about my grandparents but anyway they were competitive line dancers and that's not the only dance they did#everybody in my family has adhd and/or autism and there are no safe interests in this house#and my siblings would probably say the same thing about shit that i've hyperfixated on in the past that they cannot look at bc i#talked about it too much. i know enough about literature to make any normal person fall asleep. i have a borderline encyclopedic knowledge#of big cats. i literally read a series of encyclopedias as a child because i wanted to have a base knowledge of most things#how was i not diagnosed !!!!!! how did no one diagnose me !!!!!!!#and it's bc everybody in my family thought it was normal for me to read at a collegiate level in first grade. please be so for real rn#this turned into talking about my family's autism but isn't that what it was always about lmao#mer rambles
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dredshirtroberts · 4 months
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it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such
#if i say it enough i will remember it's true#can you guess which aspect of capitalism i'm struggling with today?#it does not help my bones are somehow WORSE than yesterday even after all of the rest i took so that's Super Fun:tm:#so i've got that on in the back of my head#ugh#i... am putting off calling my grandma - i meant to do it last week but i got too in my head about it#and uno reversed myself into forgetting to do it at all until the Worst Times Possible#(generally around Normal Fuckin Meal Times)#i want to call to wish her a belated mother's day and check in re: grandpa but also...#also i don't want to have to do a phone call i don't want to talk to them about anything at all#they stress me out to talk to and it makes me super uncomfortable to be on the phone in general let alone with a Heavy Topic over our heads#like.... i'm comfortable with where i'm at acceptance-wise with Grandpa's whole situation#and i know i am late for a better relationship with the pair of them in general#like i'm not going to repair a relationship that wasn't built to collapse down to this point this is as far as it got built up to#i'm not building more relationship between me and someone who i know is passing soon when they didn't take the opportunity either#like they had just as much chance as me to improve our relationship after i became an adult and they chose to use my mother as#an intermediary which has stunted their connection to me and that's not my fault#i admittedly did not reach out but i was not taught i could safely do that to anyone#because my parents badmouth literally any person they know for one reason or another#i regularly fuck up in conversations with my grandparents because i'll say somethign that is a holdover from my understanding of them#through my parents and it's like. kind of really insulting! and i've been doing it my whole life and i know as soon as i get their reaction#and i can't recover because i don't actually know them at all#so i can't be like ''oh my god i know that's inaccurate i have no idea why i said that'' because i *don't* know until after i've done it#every goddamn time it happened the last time i got a call from them too#like... my bio fam/family of origin is just not good at keeping in touch and i know i'm a product of that#and i know theoretically how to adjust for it but it does require work on the other end of the line too#and unfortunately i know my bio family too well and know they won't do their part#i grew up in the group project everyone hates#and i'm on my way to deciding they can show up to the presentation day without me#i've started a new family project over here with blackjack and hookers
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dgraymen · 5 months
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ough
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just-rogi · 6 months
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.
#like I’m sorry#I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me#and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard#and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles#but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way#and has never worried about money as a kid#and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course#but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book#like she did everything she can to understand and relate#but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone#because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am#and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping#I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind#but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child#that are impacting by daily life and interactions#and like I feel so fucking alone#and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING#I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops#I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd#especially not therapists of color#I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months#and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me#like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having#flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking#and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me#because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before#like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very#upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis#and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it??#I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary
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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years
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i think that whole "never felt safe growing up and most of my life" thing did real damage to my psyche lmao
#......... whole damn childhood of not feeling safe. i think... the one place i can even think of where i was truly comfortable was my aunts#house. and id see her rarely and not get to stay w her that often/long...#.... apart from that?.... just constant fucking fear and wanting to escape and be left alone#... when i got older like middle high college id feel somewhat safe at friends houses. but i always dreaded having to go home#when i lived at college was... the first time i actually lived somewhere where i felt kinda safe and at home. but my parents made sure to#remind me that it wasnt my actual home lmaoo and that they could take it away at any moment#just like how after we moved from romania i had to hear all the time. while i was stuck in a foreign country as a kid. that my room isnt my#own nothing is my own i owe them everything privacy wasnt allowed etc etc#...... after college i lived w my partner in the ghetto. like shots outside 7+ times a day sorta ghetto. i literally felt safer and more#comfortable and vibing and chill than i did at home with my parents?? lmaoo jfc i actually miss it#apart from that... probably the second time i was in the psych ward lol#and after i come back from romania its gonna be months again of having to stay alone w my stepfather whose like. weirdly sexually attracted#to me and loud and agressive and it just. triggers me so fucking much. god. i hate all this. i hate all this#twenty two fucking years of knowing little else than fucking fear and loneliness. i just. want. to feel safe.#for fucking once#so often i just wanna curl up in a borrow and never come out. thats all i want. im so tired. im so tired of this
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rickktish · 8 months
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The hypocritical dichotomy of “I have the right to separate myself from those who have hurt me, I hold no obligation to them or to the connections we once had” and “I will hold the people who have hurt me personally accountable for the pain they have caused me and prioritize myself above their feelings” is the kind of thing that makes me want to tear my hair out and start biting people
#this is about ‘going no contact’ with family members in case you couldn’t tell#i understand that the terrible things tend to float to the surface of the internet#and garner the most attention therefore getting the most upvotes and likes and highest priority on the youtube algorithm#but every time i read or hear a story about someone cutting their parents out of their life#i literally don’t know how to respond#like on the one hand yes its importnat to keep yourself safe#and if you are in an unsafe situation you should 100% remove yourself#but don’t act like you’re not also causing damage#if you’re upset with your parent/s for causing you damage by prioritizing their feelings/needs/wants/etc over yours#then doing the same thing to them isn’t actually fixing anything#and while it does carry with it a kind of poetic justice#you are in a lot of ways continuing an unhealthy behavior pattern that’s only taken on a new face#idk man#i just#do you ever lie awake at night considering your inherent hypocrisy?#do you ever wonder what kind of impact this is going to have on not only your personal future but that of those around you?#my mom still talks to her horrendous siblings and while I genuinely wouldn’t blame her for stopping because htey’re actively harmful#I also can get behind the personal honor and maintaining your own values in keeping up connections because you value the person#even when they continue to hurt you in order to feel better about themselves#actively saying ‘you are more important to me than the hurt that you continue to cause me’ takes a lot of guts#and i know if my siblibngs and i became their targets then things would change#but the fact that she’s willing to continue to take it from them as they continue to target her?#infintely admirable imo
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glitter50000 · 2 years
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We acknowledge that Baghra wasn’t a good mother but also that her own trauma and the environment they lived in had not helped at all in this house
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homophyte · 2 years
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ppl will say it’s crazy to imagine komaeda is a good parent figure to the WOH but let us not forget the truly insane ppl are those who think tokomaru would adopt the WOH. they spend the entire game going Fuck Those Kids and are only briefly sympathetic to nagisa at least komaeda actually cares about being their dad
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