#and how i can't think of anything now that im typing the tags cause my brain is full of stuff that i can't put into words GJGHFH LIKE 😭

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

HAPPY BDAY @bluepallilworld 🎂

Do I really need to cite all the reasons why I think you're an absolute sunshine and how much I admire and appreciate your presence and support? Because I'd drill it into your skull if I could with how much your happiness matters to me you sweet ol bean<333 have the best birthday ever and don't you dare forget how amazing you are >:'D ♥️

[chaoticloving]

idk if you write smut so if you’re uncomfortable totally ignore this!!! but!!! imagine y/n and recently fiance!harry and him fingering you with his ring finger talking abt marriage and shit 🫣🫣

future husband

Harry styles x reader (masterlist)

summary: Harry proposes and it leads to sex

warnings: smut

a/n: IM SORRY THIS TOOK TOO LONG I JUST NEEDED TO BE IN THE RIGHT MOOD TO WRITE SMUT AND THEN TUMBLR DIDNT PUT IT IN THE TAGS AHHH

Harry's ring obsession started when he was in his early twenties.

He rarely wore any type of a jewelry or anything flamboyant when he was younger. He painted his nails on occasion, something to relax himself with or whenever Y/n was doing hers, but nothing too grand.

But a simple silver chain given by his one and only changed that.

He started getting a little more into jewelry, necklaces, earrings, and his favorite, rings. He liked the intricate designs that rings ment; they could be loud and a stable piece, or they could be a subtle addition to the outfit.

They could also symbolize love.

After dating Y/n for three months, he knew he was certain that he wanted to stay forever with her, he just didn't allow himself to think of marriage this early into a relationship--at least not until his mother asked when he was going to propose after meeting her around their six-moth anniversary.

Finally though, after just under two years, he popped the question. He got a beautiful engagement ring, a band with beautiful engravings throughout, and of course, a huge fucking rock.

"Harry." Y/n sniffled, seeing Harry on his knee, ring in hand. "Of course, yes!"

A lovely proposal in a quiet and quant cottage away from civilization was perfect and exactly what they needed, not only for their privacy but for the ability to have sex in the middle of the woods. Harry bought this property not too long ago and waited for the right moment to take Y/n there, a proposal seemed like the best time.

The kissing of course led to more, how could it not? Harry was always a passionate lover, always eager to please, so it was honestly no surprise when the soft kiss turned more sensual.

"Fuck, I'm so glad you finally asked." Y/n mumbled softly as their lips kept touching, coming back for more. "Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you as my husband."

Harry moved onto her neck, biting softly as he went down. "It's all I've ever wanted." He groaned as Y/n's hand trailed down to his pants, she teased him slightly, earning a moan from him. "And to please you again. Lay down."

Y/n made herself comfortable on the blue and white picnic blanket. Harry moved the basket and wine bottles out of the way. He pulled flipped her dress up, revealing her lacy set on panties.

"Planning to seduce me today?" He asked with a raised brow.

"I had a hunch you might be asking me to marry you." She shrugged her shoulders, biting her lip to hide, poorly, a cheeky smile.

"How?" Harry gasped, his fingers tracing the band of her underwear. "It was top secret!"

"Oh come on, H." She giggled, her hand coming up to stroke his cheek. "You take me on a surprise getaway, no one around, to a cottage that is darling... It's the most romantic thing you have ever done."

Harry blushed. The midday sun gleaming perfectly on his skin, twinkling his green eyes and highlighting the freckles that scattered his slightly tanned skin. Y/n couldn't help but feel so lucky. This beautiful man, inside and out, is now her fiancé; she started to tear up, which, of course, caused Harry to tear up as well.

"No don't start baby." She told him. "We need to focus so we can have sex. No tears now."

She wiped her tears then Harry's. "You started it." He mumbled, smiling as he finally pulled her panties down. "We just love each other too much."

"I guess so-" Y/n gasped as Harry entered a figure into her. The familiar feeling was welcomed as the subtle feeling of pleasure began to buble up inside of her. "Fuck that feels so good."

Harry was leaning half on and half off of her, his right hand fingering. her while his other held him up so he could kiss by her ear.

"Don't get one of your rings stuck in me." She warned, looking sternly at her love. Harry shook his head and kissed her softly.

"I would never."

Harry had on a simple band, one similar to the new one adorned on Y/n's finger. He figured while he was buying the engagement ring he could buy a matching one for himself.

"I can't wait to marry you." He spoke softly, creating a new hickey just under her ear lobe. "Gonna wanna fuck you again when I see you in that dress, don't know if I could wait till the honeymoon."

He added a finger, adding to the pleasure.

"And seeing you with that ring...It's going to be as sexy as your lingerie. Just knowing you're mine and I'm the only one that can ever see you like this."

"Fuck, H. Gonna come."

"I'm the only one who will get to see my wife like this. And everyone will know I can only to this do you...I'm the only one capable." Harry's words were possessive yet reassuring, the constant validation that he was the only one for her pushed her over the edge, leaving a gasp from her mouth.

"Har I need you inside." She yanked him fully on-top of her, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down after Harry quickly pulled his fingers out of her, but not before a little taste.

He helped her strip himself, knowing she is just as possessive as him but just doesn't always vocalize it, but her actions speak louder than her lack of words.

Harry entered Y/n, the euphoric feeling washing over him as he let out a loud moan, mentally thanking himself for buying the isolated land. "Feel so good."

"You stretch me out so much." She gasped. "My future husband."

Harry thrusted, a reflex from her words in her sexy, faint, voice. "Don't say that or else I'm going to come in less then a minute." He paused, staring into his loves eyes. "Want to impress my future wife."

"You impress me every day. Every time I see you I have something new I love about you." Y/n leaned in a kissed him, it was mainly teeth, but still perfect nonetheless. "Today it's your cock."

Harry stopped thrusting briefly. "You mean it hasn't impressed your before today?"

"It's the first time I've been impress by my fiancé's cock, I was already impressed when he was my boyfriend." She assured. Harry rolled his eyes and got back to thrusting, moving his ring finger down to her core and rubbing soft circles on her clit, making her jolt slightly.

"I'm gonna cum again, H."

"Me too."

They both moaned as they climaxed at the same time. Harry collapsed onto Y/n's chest, arms exhausted from keeping himself up. They stayed like that for no more then five minutes, Harry's cock softening inside of her as they relaxed.

"I can't believe you're going to be my wife." Harry thought out loud. "Never thought I'd work up the courage."

"Why? You knew I'd say yes."

"I dunno, just all the what-if's got inside my head. You know how that is." Harry mumbled, nuzzling his face into the side of her neck. He kissed over her blooming hickeys too, soft contrast between his sexual and romantic desire for her.

"Well your next biggest concern is finding were to go for our honeymoon." Y/n said. "Might have to go all over."

"I'll pay for every penny of it."

"Most defiantly. You know I have expensive taste." Y/n joked. "The wedding is going to cost half a fortune on its own."

Harry smiled, kissing her cheek then her lips. "I'd spend all the money in the world to make you happy. I'd go broke to see you smile."

"Stop, you're going to make me cry again." She whispered, tears starting to form.

"I'll just kiss them away, my love." He sighed. "It's my job as your future husband."

[nervousgardenerkid]

The ghost of you

a/n: so,,i couldn't help but see the tags from someone reblogging this story that they wanted a reason as to WHY eddie didn't tell the reader he was back,,,im not saying ask and i'll deliver,,,but i'm saying that LMAO kinda obsessed with this?? idk how to feel but lmk if you guys like it :D credit to the gif owner! <3

Eddie Munson was a man with hopes and dreams. He hoped to graduate from Hawkins high, get a job, get the fuck out of this town, and start a family. His dream? He wants to be a rockstar. He wants to touch the hearts of troubled teens the way his favorite bands did to him. Eddie was never one to give up on his hopes and dreams, no matter how hard it seemed he always held onto them.

Eddie’s life revolved around many things. Some of those things were his music, friends, and you. You were Eddie's whole world, everything he did he did for you. You made him want to be a better person, he tried harder in school just so he could keep up with you cause Eddie didn't want to be the type of boyfriend to hold you back. No, Eddie wanted to grow with you, soon enough his hopes started to change when he got together with you. He still wanted to graduate and leave Hawkins behind but with you right beside him. Unfortunately, for both of you, life had different plans.

Eddie shivers at the memory that plagues his mind. He’ll admit he doesn't remember much that night, everything blurred together into one giant memory and he blanks after the bats attacked him. He remembers the pain he felt, and the last thoughts he was having, but he can never forget the horrified look in your eyes when you saw how much blood he was losing.

-

“Shit, no Eddie, stay with me, baby. Stay with me!”

Eddie lets out a chuckle that soon turns into a cough.

“Angel…”

You're too lost in your thoughts to hear him.

“What?” you pant out while applying pressure to his side. He winces in pain and moves your hair out of your face with his bloody hand.

“I said you're an angel.” he coughs and lets out a groan. “Always…always knew you were my guardian angel.”

You're blinking back tears and shaking your head.

“Why’d you do this? Why did you fucking sacrifice yourself, Eddie?!”

“It's bad huh?”

You shake your head trying your best to ignore the anger you felt.

“No, no you're gonna be fine. We just have to get you to a hospital, okay?”

Eddie nods his head, he feels too tired to talk. You grunt as you try your best to lift him. If you could just get him to the others and manage to make it to a hospital he'll be fine. He has to be fine.

“Stop, stop-”

“Eddie c’mon please-”

“Stop! I need- I need a second, okay?”

Eddie leans back onto the floor and by this time tears are fully streaming down your face. Eddie’s eyes fall on your face and he can't help but smile at you.

“I didn't run away this time, right?”

You shake your head and take a shaky breath.

“No. No baby, you didn't run this time.”

His hand finds yours and holds it tightly. “You're gonna have to tell Dustin to look after those little sheep for me okay?”

“No, no you're gonna do that yourself!” you cried out.

Eddie’s smile drops a bit and she slowly shakes his head.

“No baby. I need you to say it. Say you're gonna tell him.”

“I'm- I'm gonna tell him to look after them.” you sob out.

“Good,” he takes a shaky breath. “‘Cause, I think I'm actually gonna graduate this year.”

A shaky laugh leaves your lips. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Gonna- gonna finally leave Hawkins with you, start a family.”

You love hearing Eddie talk, but you wish he'd stop right now. Your heart is breaking with every sentence that's leaving his mouth.

“You want a family?” you ask him quietly. Your thumb is rubbing his knuckles gently, trying to remember what they feel like. He nods his head.

“‘M gonna take you on tour with me, write songs about you a-and our baby.”

He locks eyes with you and uses the little strength he has to wipe away the tears that are on your cheeks.

“I think it's my year y/n. I think it's finally my year.”

You say nothing. You can't say anything. Your heart is begging, screaming for you to try again. Help Eddie up and run like hell to find the others but you know it's no use. You're surprised he's still talking right now if you're being honest with yourself.

“I love you.” Eddie says quietly. You smile at him and lean down to kiss his forehead.

“I love you too.”

-

That was the last thing Eddie remembers. He replays the memory in his head as if it's the only memory he has left, but it's not. He also remembers waking up in the upside down alone. There was no Dustin, no Lucas, no Mike, and most importantly, there was no you. He's not sure when he woke up. Maybe it was an hour after his death, maybe it was a couple of months. To him it felt like seconds when his eyes shot open and he was greeted with a dark sky and stuffy atmosphere. After hours of trying to find his way out of his own personal hell, he found a way to jump through the gate that was in his trailer. Once he was back in Hawkins he was quick to sneak out to try and find everyone, but he didn't realize how hard it would be after the “earthquake”.

He spent a week in hiding. Eating whatever food he could find in his abandoned trailer, praying that Wayne found a nice place for himself and wasn't losing rest trying to figure out what was happening. It wasn't until his second week in hiding he found the walkie that Dustin gave him, he wasn't quick to use it. No, he sat on the couch staring at it for nearly an hour debating if he should even try and reach Dustin. What were the chances Dustin was on the channel he gave Eddie while he was on the run?

“Hey, Eddie,” he heard Dustin's voice through the walkie. “It's been a couple of months without you. My leg is still a little sore but I'm all healed now."

Eddie fumbles with the walkie, holding it close as if it was Dustin himself.

“Look man,” Dustin started. “I know I haven't talked on here for a while but…I don't know. I have this gut feeling that you're listening, so if you are, please, just let me know. I promise I won't tell anyone.”

Eddie nods his head and takes a shaky breath. He presses the button on the side and sits in silence for a moment. Should he even be doing this? He doesn't even know how he's alive or if talking to Dustin could put him in even more danger.

“Dustin?”

“Holy shit. Holy shit! You're alive?!”

“I-i don't know. Can you come to the trailer?”

-

Dustin knows his leg is going to feel like it's going to fall off tomorrow, but he doesn't care. He's quick to hop off his bike and sprint to the abandoned trailer making sure no one was around when he walked in.

“Psst. Eddie? Are you here?”

“You know, you really should be more careful Dustin,” Eddie said while peeking his head out of his old bedroom. “I could've been a murderer- oof!”

Eddie couldn't even finish his sentence before Dustin ran in his arms and embraced him.

“Holy shit! I can't believe you're fucking alive!”

Eddie pretended he couldn't feel the teenage boy’s tears soaking through his shirt and tried his best to hold back his own tears as he returned Dustin’s hug.

“Yeah, I can't believe it either.”

Dustin pulled away and wiped his tears. “This is great! We gotta tell everyone-”

“No! Are you crazy?!”

Dustin stared at Eddie with disbelief.

“Are you crazy? Don't you think your friends and Wayne want to know you're alive? What about y/n?!”

Eddie shakes his head and rubs his hands down his face.

“I-i can't. Not yet, I don't even know how I'm back! I remember dying then poof! I'm back as good as new? No, something is up. This just doesn't make sense.”

Dustin stands still for a moment trying to reason with what Eddie is saying.

“You can't tell anyone, man.”

“Eddie-”

“I mean it, Dustin! Swear to me. Swear you won't say a goddamn thing about me being alive.”

Dustin nodded his head quickly not wanting to get on Eddie’s bad side.

“Okay, okay. I swear.”

Eddie nodded his head and sat back down on the couch resting his face on the palm of his hands.

“How is everyone?”

Dustin sighed and sat next to him on the couch. “We're all coping in our own way. I haven't seen y/n since they left school with Gareth.”

“Gareth?”

Dustin nodded his head. “I think they find comfort in each other. You know, your best friend and your girlfriend.”

Eddie doesn't know why but he doesn't entirely like the sound of that. He should be happy. His best friend and girlfriend are getting along now, he's seen the small yet awkward conversations you two have had. Why did it have to take him dying for you two to get along?

“H-how long have they been hanging out?”

Dustin shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno. The last time I saw them they were at family video with Steve and Robin.”

Eddie perked up at the familiar names Dustin mentioned and he lets out a sigh before slouching onto the couch.

“So, how’d you find your way back?”

Eddie lets out a dry chuckle and looks at Dustin.

“How much time do you have?”

-

A few months go by and before Eddie knows it almost everyone in the group knows he's back except for you, Robin, and Nancy. Steve only found out because Dustin got tired of riding his bike and started to ask him for rides to Eddie's trailer. After much theorizing, Eddie and Dustin have concluded that vecna made Eddie into some sort of…creature. This was confirmed when Dustin brought over some raw meat for him and Eddie to cook but Eddie decided the pink meat was much more appetizing than when it was cooked.

“Dude… that's sick.” Dustin said while trying not to gag.

Eddie’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, his hunger finally going away when he swallowed the meat.

“Oh my god, this is the best thing I've ever eaten.”

“You're a sick man.”

Eddie chuckled and shook his head ignoring Dustin.

“So, I was thinking,” Eddie swallowed the food that was in his mouth before he continued. “I think I'm ready to go out in public.”

“Yeah, that's gonna be a negative.”

“Says who?”

“Um, have you forgotten that you're dead?!”

Eddie tossed down the napkin that was in his hand and looked up at Dustin.

“But-”

“Look, if you miss your friends and family so much then let me tell them!”

“No!”

Dustin lets out a sigh and throws his hands up in the air.

“Unbelievable. You're unbelievable.”

Dustin’s watch beeps and he lets out a curse and starts to grab his stuff.

“Where are you going?”

“We started this movie night thing for y/n every Friday. Tonight we're watching karate kid!”

“Oh. Okay, I guess I'll just stay here.”

“Okay.”

“Alone.”

“Uh-huh.”

“All by myself.”

“Yeah. That's what alone means. Look, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow! Bye Eddie!”

“Yeah, yeah. Bike safely Henderson!”

Eddie waited ten minutes after Dustin left before he looked out the window making sure the coast was clear for him to sneak out tonight. Tonight was the night. Eddie was finally going to go see you and tell you about what happened, or at least what he thinks happened. He blows a kiss to his van, a little upset he can't drive it but he doesn't want the whole town to know he's back. Not yet at least. He’d rather have at least a week with you before he makes his first appearance back at Hawkins.

While on the way to your house he's deep in thought trying to rehearse what he plans on telling you. So far all he has is hey y/n! Remember how you thought I died? Well, I'm not dead. Surprise! He cringes internally at his thought and shakes his head.

“Everything will be fine. I'll know what to say as soon as I see them,” he mutters to himself. He can't contain the smile that finds its way to his face the second your house comes into view. Without realizing it, his pace quickens but soon begins to slow down when he sees a familiar figure standing in front of you.

“Y/n c’mon! You can ditch one movie night!”

You laughed your beautiful laugh that Eddie loved so much and shook your head.

“No Gareth, they started this for me! I can't ditch them!”

Eddie isn't sure what to feel. He knows it hasn't been easy for you. Dustin has been an absolute saint and given him updates about you whenever he could. The last thing he heard was that you refused to get out of bed, he swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw you now. You look fine. Happy even, this couldn't be the you Dustin was talking about earlier this week.

“Please? It's so boring at home without you! Who's gonna watch scary movies with me?”

Home? Since when has Gareth referred to his house as home when he's talking to you? It's always been yeah you can come over to my house y/n. Or even yeah you can invite y/n to my house. Now it's home?!

You roll your eyes and place a hand on his arm. “How about this,” your hand falls to his side, playing with the old material of his flannel. “You should come to Steve’s tonight. We're watching karate kid plus Mike, Lucas, and Dustin will be there!”

Gareth lets out a sigh and pretends to think about it. He looks down at his feet and kicks around a small pebble that’s on the ground.

“I kinda wanted it to be us two only. I don't do well in crowds.”

Liar. Eddie thinks to himself.

“You can come with me every time I make popcorn! I'm in charge of refills tonight.”

Gareth reaches into his back pocket and grabs his keys mumbling how it's a deal.

Eddie wanted to scream. He wanted to scream that he was here and to look at him. Hear his voice again and forget about Gareth, but he couldn't. He was a ghost to you. He watched with tears in his eyes as you hopped into Gareth's car, laughter muffled over the loud music that came from inside. He watched you both drive away into the night, probably not even thinking twice about him, and for the first time in his life, Eddie Munson had died twice.

taglist <3

@cityofidek @spideyjass

[dailybayonetta]

sorry, if im bothering you with this (you don't need to anwer if you don't want to), another one of these discourses about bayonetta i've seen with queerbaiting with bayojeanne and that one spoilers thing. do you agree it's an actual thing that happened?

Okay, so BIG SPOILERS AHEAD (metion of them, but not explicit) and lots of text ________

So let me start by saying, usually, as a gay person myself - I've been in this situation. When you clearly have a dynamic between friends of the same gender but it's written much more deeply and with the care and with the actual tropes that get used for het couples and filled with love (and that word gets thrown around, but like, we talking about any kind of love). That happens. But what also happens - is that writers / devs usually never confirm these. Fans and fandom do more job of putting lgbt rep into something that originally doesn't really have it or hidden in narrative (pushed, that also common with censoring) and then act like devs or writes or show runners own them something they invented. Again, it's a complex issue, because sometimes authors take time or have to push for relation ships (LoK / adventure time) and sometimes authors take credit for the ships fans popularised (that one supergirl show comes to mind???) However, in Bayojeanne cause, I can kind of see where people coming from because: a) Bayo herself is an ambiguous character, people been saying for ages that she's bi coded (i can't speak on that honestly) b) Kamiya called Bayonetta and Jeanne couple - not a pair, not duo, and compared them with other couples (that also semi-canon / canon)

c) a lot of promo material art, just as concept art depicted them in way that would couples would. especially couples that have "different side of the coin" dynamic and that complement each other some examples: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5

Fanservice? Sure. Still. A thing that did happened. d) the scenes they had were also common for couples, shots on the reaching hands (the recent one i can think about with cloud and tifa in ff7remake), bayonetta holding jeanne "bride" style, bayonetta holding jeanne when saving her soul (do i need to mention how later they did that scene in familliar way with luka and bayo but just without the kiss, riiiight) and like, i could go on, but you get the idea

d) And what I also think Bayojeanne isn't just that kind of ship that was "oh fans hyped it up and they never interacted in canon" or something. It's in the story. Again, maybe it wasn't explicit and writers probably didn't intended to be that way (maybe Kamiya did but looking at bayo3 who knows), because once again it's a common thing when writes do this type of dynamic and "oh, the bond is so strong" and that kind of thing has a right to exists, if it wasn't for the othert stuff i said about. Again, it's a complex idea and situation. And many things matter in the case. And I'm not a professional and not that type of person who cared about it in Bayonetta of all things. Does that falls under "queerbaiting"? Hell, if I know, because I never expected them somehow to get canon or anything (and if you go through my baoyjeanne tag you know I love them dearly), cause not only being a game from japanese devs but also that I know better now because I got baited enough in various media before. Can I blame people for thinking this was queerbaiting? No, I don't think I can. Especially because it's just bad for the script. What this implies of such strong and impowering fantasy character as Bayonetta is even worse. And like, Bay///o/lu//ka doesn't in any way erase Bayonetta's bi-coding or her being into Jeanne (afterall it's not the same Bayo and we got multiverses now🙄) but I think people are upset because it was executed reeeeeally poorly and untasteful for such character. And people saying it's kind of character assasination are right in a lot of ways. Hell idk why anyone skips the part that Luka also didn't got any development and got thrown in this mess as well. And also THAT PART. What happened with it - who knows what was even going on in the writing room of Platinum.

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

what do you like doing in your free time?

why is your name clenched buttocks (I wanna know the reason, pls its so funny lol)

what are things you're good at? (own it babe) (and i don't mean 'babe' in a weird way - just gotta clear that lol)

do you have a best friend?

do you write OG stories and/or fanfics?

one thing you hate about yourself

one thing you love about yourself

do you want a pet? if so, what pet and why

(pls at this rate, its sounding like an interview, so sorry 😂 i'm just...i have a lot of time in my hands and i decided to do this for no particular reason)

fave type of music?

what made you like bsd? and did you always like it? (cause for me, i didnt like it too much at first but it grew on me the second time around)

have you read the bsd light novels and what's your fave light novel if yes?

any pet peeves?

what's your 'ideal' partner (do you have a type like Kunikida or are you fine with anything as long as you're having fun)

Would you rather be single and rich or taken and with a normal salary?

are you happy with where you work/study?

what's your dream career?

what's the app you use the most?

would you rather draw or write?

*** (P.S just pick the ones you want to answer) **

i think im going to look like a weirdo asking so much questions but whatever. at least we dont know each other HAHA i hope you have a good day. <3 and also i love your analyses. just keep posting what you like. i find some of your posts funny lol

good day.

(# you asked and i delivered) (# just me looking for an excuse to use this line) (# cause you said you wanted more questions in your other post TT) (# also ik this isn't a real tag but i wanna be ✨creative) (# fan behavior? idk anymore lmao) okay bye mwa <3

KHJDKJKSAJDGKJSFKG I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU I WILL BEGIN ANSWERING NOW

i have no free time. I either overwork myself or sleep. however, assuming that i've got a sliver of time to do something, I swap from one obsession to the next <3 rn it's going for insanely long bike rides and turn down every road I feel like until I'm lost,, and going to the gym like an absolute maniac bc i want my arms to be the size of a regular adult's legs

my username is what i desire in life. it is was I strive to be worthy of. it is beauty and life itself, it is the culmination of the universe's most wonderous accomplishments all squished into two raging enormous, gargantuan muscular earth shattering sea trembling ass cheeks 😩😩 (BUT in all seriousness I chose this bc I felt like having tecchousthiccthighs wasn't quite as pleasant??? eheheh buttocks is a funny word)

MY TALENT IS SAYING ANYTHING THAT CROSSES MY MIND TO STRANGERS i've been on this spree lately where I just straight up call anyone pretty when I run into them and HOLY MOLY PPL ARE SO CUTE ABT IT this is your sign to compliment someone today ✨✨ but nah baby i'm good at everything it's a curse ngl (U CAN CALL ME WTV HUN IT'S OK KJKDJFKJS UR SO ADORABLE WHAT)

no best friend bc i can't do commitment and bully friends that get too close to me 😍😍 BUT i'm gonna tag @bellyjellyfish for being my one and only and somehow not hating me thru my unironic "uwu" phase <33

I wrote a 700 page story when I was 12 and it remains unfinished bc I kept rambling and there was no plot 🕴️I love writing but abandon a whole lot of works bc I dream up the rest of the plot and go "oh well why write it now i've been there done that" I DO WRITE FANFICS 👁️👁️ I have a wp account where i wrote a bunch of awful stories and it still stands to this day! (no i will not disclose it don't even try me grr)

I hate how sexy I am 😭😭😭😩😩😩🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

I love how sexy I am 😳😳😳😳🥶🥶🥶🥶😜😜😜😜

I WANT A TARANTULA I WANT A TARANTULA I WAS A CHILEAN RED KNEE TARANTULA AND I WANT ONE SO BADLY OMFG I've always liked spiders but the ppl I live with would absolutely kick me out if I got one??? once i live on my own i'm def buying two cages so that whenever I have guests, I just put out the empty cage, hide the real one, and be like "oh no what happened to billy my tarantula, he escaped again :(" just to wreak havoc

(HAHA NO IT'S OK I USUALLY DO THIS TO OTHER PPL SO I APPRECIATE U SM LOL SLIDE INTO MY DMS BBG)

fav type of music is classical bc i'm edgy and not like other girls 🤩🤩🤩 something about la campanella just hit so hard when I was like 10 that I have taken it and ran, but I do listen to rnb a lot, never in just one language tho bc sometimes english sucks my d

I liked bsd as soon as I saw ranpo's silhouette in the first episode, I was like "him. I want him 🏃‍♀️" but it was solidified in my head as soon as I saw natsume bc 1) he's hot AF IT'S NOT FAIR I WANT HIM 2) I had been reading his irl works and fell in love, so I started exploring other bsd authors and it introduced me to gogol (i'm so in love with his writing style it's not ok) soooo yeah :)) I started reading bc someone (you know who you are) liked chuuya and I haven't looked back since, tbh it's one of my favs just bc of the characters and their depth

I've read all the light novels I could get my hands on, and I have to say stormbringer FOR THE ONLY, SOLE REASON THAT I AM IN ABSOLUTE LOVE WITH ADAM

pet peeve hmmmm idk??? i'm chill with everything except pickles I hate those mfs, but if I had to chose smth it would be when someone shoves a ship down my throat (it's me i'm bitches go stan satosugu rn)

no ideal partner! I'm aro fyi, but also I feel like I'd be chill with just abt anything?? if u match my energy, we can be partners in chaos and i'll feel understood, and if you don't, I get to learn abt a different kind of lifestyle and get to have someone sane to hold me down (or to corrupt), so either way it's a win. I find culture to be incredibly attractive, speak a language I don't or tell me about a tradition of yours with a wholesome smile and I'd move mountains for you 💖💖 teach me abt something that you're emotionally invested in and an expert, and I'm literally yours <3

haha i don't ever wanna be in a relationship so i'll take being rich,, but honestly it ain't about the money, i'd want to have a normal salary and be taken, but it just ain't my vibe ?? dunno how to explain erm-

dream career is racecar driver YOU TRAVEL ACROSS THE WORLD TO ICONIC DESTINATIONS YOU GET PAID INSANE MONEY AND YOU GO VROOM VROOM VERY FAST WHILE CONSTANTLY ALMOST DYING WHAT ELSE DO I NEED IN LIFE????

app i use most is my local library app bc i'm constantly trying to renew my books that are incredibly close to being overdue 🫡 but nahh i don't use my phone that often it still irks me i'm actually a 60 year old gilf who hates technology and complains abt kids these days

I CAN'T DRAW BUT I ALSO CAN'T WRITE YOU'VE GOT ME AT A DEADLOCK BRO??? if it's which I would rather be GOOD at, i'd say drawing bc imagine thinking abt something and just printing it out on paper??? yall fr got some magical talent omg

WHAT IF WE DO KNOW EACH OTHER THO??? WHAT IF WE'RE ACTUALLY NEIGHBORS??? CHILDHOOD FRIENDS??? YOU NEVER KNOW AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL MUAHAHAHAHA i'm gonna stop now but ty for all your questions and have a wonderful day, darling <33

[ser-rctslcyer]

NO SAY YOUR DRAGON PIECE I WANNA HEAR

AAAAAAA!!! I REALLY WAS JUST GONNA GET SAPPY FOR A MOMENT IS ALL BUT FUCK IT NOW IM GOING!!!!

truly didn't think anyone wanted to see my bullshitting in the tags but uh here we go

LONG POST AHEAD (SPIN WENT FUCKING BRRR)

[below the cut is me being very sappy about my love for dragons]

Intro 

Okay so I know you might mean about got/hotd (and i will get there) but I very much adore dragons and just need to scream about them for a sec.

Ever since I was little, I always had a huge affinity for dragons. I don't know what exactly drew me in but it probably had something to do with their amazing designs, colors, and personalities they got to have. I own like several different dragon books (4-7) because that's how obsessed I was as a kid. I wanted to know anything and everything about them, not realizing dragons have such a vast lore and change between depictions-- but little me did not give a fucking shit. I collected a book that went through like the basic overview of dragons, I got another book (drawing book) that went through different types of dragons, and a few more that I can't remember off the top of my head. Anything remotely dragon related I wanted because I was that kid. Not to mention the vast amount of drawings and writings I did about dragons. I made oc dragons, backstories, came up with a different language — I’m pretty sure I even talked about dragons in my school work. I was obsessed man (still am).

Now I watched a lot of different shows/movies/games even that had some dragon in it-- and it would instantly become my favorite thing from it. So obliviously , I grew attachments to a lot of them but here a just a handful who mean the most to me, the dragon kid--

Mulan - Mushu

I will never not love this funky lil man, okay? Like who the fuck doesn’t want a little pocket sized dragon to follow you around?

He's giddy, exuberant, and most importantly funny. Honestly, why I probably love Mulan so much is for him alone. I know I wished, for like the longest time, to have a lil dragon who would follow me around everywhere/talk to me— that was the dream for me. Although the boosts himself up to sound all big and bad dragon, he really comes across as friendly which I enjoyed a lot. He’s comedic but in the end proves that’s he’s truly has a big heart. Most book depreciations I had read had always either made the dragon big and scary or like all-knowing and untouchable. For me, as a kid, Mushu was a little hilarious red dragon that could keep me company, give me advice (albeit maybe a little bad), or just chill in my company. He was the almost ideal dragon in my brain I wanted to bond with and take on grand adventures.

Spirited Away - Haku/Kohaku

Now, I preface this with I have Spirited Away in DVD— and would put that disk in religiously; that was my movie.

I love Spirited Away (one of the first anime movies I ever watched) for all the incredible character designs and to the sheer magnitude of the fantastical setting it take places. As a kid, I wanted to explore those strange worlds between and see all different types of people, creatures and just experience fantasy. Like, yeah is it pretty fucked up watching your parents turn into pigs-- but holy shit, yall see No-Face???? My fucking beloved right there; I adored them immediately when I watched that movie. like their design, although “basic” is very fucking cool and they’re such an amazing fucking character, even without having to say much. Absorbing creatures and using their voices to speak but also gaining their personality-- there is so many layers to No-Face, it’s impossible not be intrigued and infatuated with them. (

I say all this  (not cause i was drawn off subject) to say--

Of course was also drawn to Haku. Yes, kid me had a big fucking crush on him(i mean truly who didn’t have a crush on hm bro); he fits my lovely lil blorbo niche perfectly. The stoic yet observant character was very interesting to me and I wanted to know more about him upon immediately seeing him. Then there was his dragon form, which is one of my favorites till this day; the white and green fur is iconic. He’s a bit more feral in that form but he’s not feral for no reason. His name has been stolen from him, forgotten so he acts accordingly; untrusting, aloof, and callous until Chihiro saves him from Yubaba’s control. Once gets his real name again, he’s free again and he does what he is meant to do. The reveal of him being a river spirit, and the way in which his dragon moves, smooth and flowing like water-- it’s simply perfect!!! 

HTTYD - Toothless

Now I wasn’t the biggest biggest fan of How To Train Your Dragon (I say having seen the 2nd movie in theater), I did enjoy the seeing all the varied types of dragons in the show, especially Toothless. First off, Night Fury is a hard name for a species of dragon. The concept of a disabled dragon was something I’ve never seen before, and it was very cool to see a dragon adapt to having an artificial limb. Then there was also the retractable teeth, which I thought was fucking cool too. Toothless’s curious, cat-like, personality was very nice to see and I enjoy the little goober. 

Hobbit Trilogy - Smaug

I know The Hobbit  trilogy gets a lot of shit but I can’t help but to like it for a bunch of different reasons. One of those being Smaug. Look I know every other dragon on this list has been actually either sweet or they’re not really mean but I just had to like this motherfucker. 

Foremost I absolutely adore his design, I think he also has another great and amazing dragon design. The sheer eyes scene at the end of ‘An Unexpected Journey”, had lil ol kid me wiggling in my fucking seat. He’s so fucking big (even though he’s one of the smaller ones in the universe) and seeing how easily he tore about Laketown in meer seconds was terrifying-- but also super cool. His look and movements are very fucking creepy too. The way he shifts around when talking to Bilbo when he first discovers him, it’s very clear it is a predator stalking his prey. He knows he’s intimidating and uses that to his advantage; keeping his movements slow so his “victims” can get the idea that he is this massive, undefeatable being. He’s proper and respectable, his ego and pride getting the best of him because he knows there’s nothing they can do to hurt him; they can’t possibly kill him. Then when he’s finally angered, his stature changes and he begins using his body like the weapon it’s designed to be. He’s agitated and swats with his tail and tries biting a whole lot more because at this point he doesn’t give a fuck. 

Smaug is such a douche of a dragon too, he embodies the typical dragon instincts (wanting his big ol pile of dwarf gold) whilst being a snarky bitch about it. He’s both archetypes of dragons in one, all knowing and an asshole, who doesn’t care who the fuck he’s got to hurt to get to his fucking gold. He toys with Bilbo, simultaneously warning him of Thorin’s downfall but also making him fear the things to come. Then when he finally sees Thorin again, he eggs him on-- knowing how easily he gets under his skin, knowing that really he can’t do anything to hurt him; he does the same thing with Bard. He uses his words to pick and pry at people’s head because he’s got a superiority complex; he is a high being, why should he listen to anyone else? I love how strong his ego was, how much he really gave no shit about anyone else and how even visceral his death was-- like watching a flame finally die out. 

GOT/HOTD - Rhaegal, Viserion, Drogon, Syrax, Caraxes (spoilers btw)

What you’ve all been waiting for!!! So funnily enough, I did come into the GOT scene pretty late (around s6-ish) and I really enjoyed lots of things about the series-- especially the dragons. 

I adore the design of these boys so much-- they huge, different colors, spiky and look like they can (and very much will) turn your ass to dust. But at the same time we can see their thoughts and emotions through their eyes, how they process the words from Dany or the emotions from others. I truly think they have a level of empathy, besides with Dany, and their little softening expressions as they recognize those emotions and then go about doing their dragon business. 

The depiction of dragons in GOT is really one of my favorite, because just like humans they have bonds, whether it’s between their rider or even each other. Rhaegal, Viserion, and Drogon being Dany’s children was so sweet to me because even through the struggles they recognized her as their rider, their mother and wanted to protect her and they also see each other as family. They’re a unit! It did hurt badly seeing their reactions to Viserion’s death and then Drogon’s was painful because their own little family fell right a part through their fingers. We see how badly Dany takes it but also Drogon who loses his brother’s and his mother in the process. He’s hurting just as bad but there is no comfort as he still wants to follow his mom to the end, and there’s no sympathies for him from anyone. I like to think him burning the throne was a way for him to process his ever growing grief, destroying the thing that had destroyed the only family he had ever known. 

Okay so with HOTD I am very happy to see dragons back again, like bro I missed them so much.

I love the relationship that Syrax and Rhaenyra have, it’s so sweet and perfectly mimics how Dany was with her children. It’s very clear the dedication the two of them have between each other and she easily picks up on Rhaenyra’s emotions. I love Syrax’s color, although there is something about her face shape that I don’t really like, she’s a beautiful dragon. 

Then there’s Caraxes (i apologize for the bias that is about to come out). I fucking adore Caraxes, his design is literally everything, like god he’s so fucking badass. The blood red color, the horns; truly a magnificent dragon indeed. I read somewhere that he’s deformed which is why the way he looks like how he does and also sound like that and I still think its amazing. He works with his elongated body, using his long neck like he’s a snake. He’s so fucking beautiful, I adore him. 

It’s very clear he’s got the same strong bond with Daemon and he’s clearly very protective of him. Perhaps they bond in a way because they both feel out of place in the family (dragon lineage for Caraxes) because they’re so different from everyone else. 

In conclusion - i think got/hotd dragons and their riders should go off  and chill on beaches and be happy because they deserve it. 

Closing

Now if you made it this far (or just scrolled all the way down), I congratulate you; you made it through me losing my entire fucking mind. Truly I haven’t had a big time to talk about dragons like this in a while or in such detail and if you read I hope you enjoyed my thoughts. There are so many cool and interesting things about these creatures and I always and happy to see all different sorts of approaches to them. Anyways ramble over.

[ravenousnightwind]

A physical disability isn't like having arthritis or depression or even adhd. Those things might affect the way you can move about but, it's not a physical disability. The fact I have to say this just..is really baffling.

A physical disability is when you have trouble seeing, hearing, walking, etc. The last one, especially, I feel like people are really confused about. It means that you absolutely need a wheelchair or an aid of some kind. Maybe you need a walking aid like crutches of some kind, or maybe you need some other form of one because you can't see that well. It's where the primary reason you're disabled is because you are incapable in some way, of all the things I mentioned. It's classified as physically disabled because it isn't mentally disabled. Mentally disabled is the primary reason, but it doesn't mean you are indeed physically disabled as well.

Like yeah, I'm mentally disabled okay? I have issues walking because i have a lot of brain fog. I do have spinal issues and arthritis, but that doesn't mean I'm physically disabled. I don't need an aid to walk, it just takes me a bit sometimes depending on how I feel. Like, I need zero physical aids to get up and down unless I'm laying down sick as fuck.

Just because I have those issues, that doesn't mean it's classified as physical, and that doesn't mean I have a right to anything. Like even if it were more severe I wouldn't even consider a professional telling me that I'm physically disabled to be a right to enter a community space.

At this point I'm diving into a whole other issue. We, being you, and every single other person out there who's telling you to fuck off, probably knows it's not just because you were told to get out. It's probably not just because you're offended you're being shunned. It's probably because you said some shit and now you're mad that the community doesn't want to deal with your nonsense.

I mean maybe it is just using the tag, I don't know, it's not my business, but I will say this. A lot of people are assholes, even us disabled people can be assholes. It's likely that you revealed something and they were like but thays not physically disabled. And you were like YES IT IS IM DISABLED!!! Okay but, that doesn't mean you have a right to use a tag okay? If someone told me that, and I fucking knew my situation, then yeah, I'd just fuck off, apologize and never enter that community again unless something happened where I had a physical disability.

Just like how I never entered the autistic or adhd communities until I got an official diagnosis. Sure, I knew I was quirky or strange, but I never entered into a community I wasn't sure I belonged in. Why would anyone do that? It's disrespectful

Like okay, I know by writing and even saying this shit, maybe I'm stepping over some invisible lines I can't see, so maybe excuse me? I'm just really pissed off about this, I'm really pissed that people have this kind of audacity to just act like they have a right. No you don't, nobody does. And yeah it sucks when you're shunned, but there's no reason to hang around in a place where no one wants you. You want it why? Because you have these problems? So what, use something else. Express it differently. Really think. Go back and look at the shit you said. When people attack me that's what I do. Where did i fuck up? Did i fuck up or was there a misunderstanding? Ya know what, maybe I got yelled at because I just didn't think about what I was saying very clearly? It happens.

Idk I just can't understand these types of people who wanna push and push and cause problems in a place where we're expressing.

On the other hand though, nobody knows anyone's business, and idk that's kinda the thing. People take things so personally online because you can't tell the tone of what someone is saying on both sides and then before you know it there's some bullshit.

Anyway, my point is just that I'm pissed. I'm pissed for the people it harms. Anything like that always pisses me off, but especially for my friends. Even if I didn't have physically disabled friends, I'd still be considerate about how other people feel. But not gonna lie, sometimes there really are just ass people out there (not people who like asses) who just wanna gatekeep, but if a whole community is like shouting about it? Uh..pretty sure it's not just an ass but like an actual problem?

Idk, maybe I'm just talking out my ass without really knowing anything? And if I was told to fuck off I'd just be like alright I will. I'm not gonna argue about it. It's stupid to argue about it. I understand the frustration. Fuck

[snzunii]

— SEE YOU AGAIN [23]

+ summary. in which you and sanzu are in a very chaotic marriage.

+ tags. romance, fluff, heavy (?) angst, modern au, smau, arrange marriage au, college setting, use of profanities, eventual smut, 18+

+ note. hello uhm chapter 23 ig? HSJSAHHS IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT HERE IT IS MUWAH MUWAH ily all <3 thanks to @r-indou and @manjiroro for always listening to me ramble abt SYA askjhshjhjsda cant write this without them LMAO

+ status. on-going.

+ masterlist.

ONE WEEK AFTER.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“No. Could you tell?”

Kakucho chuckled as he sat beside you, how could he not tell when you have two bags under your eyes. You look like you didn't get a wink of sleep for the rest of the month. Your hair was disheveled and you look like you’re going to faint any second.

You didn't get any sleep last night since you were waiting for Haruchiyo to come home, it slipped your mind that you had something else to do and now you’re rushing it. Really, how could you let this happen? But you know you would achieve nothing if you scold yourself so you set that aside and just actually did your task.

“I really could.” he said and placed a bag of sandwich in front of you, “I guess you didn't eat too?”

“Mhm.” you just answered as you set all your things aside—leaning your head on the desk and closing your eyes while you face Kakucho. “Wake me up after ten minutes. I need to finish this, ‘m just gonna sleep for a bit. I’ll eat that later, thanks Kaku.”

Kakucho just sighed as he angled himself to cover you from the sunlight, he was observing you as you slept in the most uncomfortable place here in the university but he guessed you had no choice. It has been, what, one or two weeks since you last talked to your husband?

You just spent all the time trying to make up with Haruchiyo and Senju but they aren't talking to you, still. And now, you have a lot on your plate. You can't exactly focus when the two of the most important people in your life aren't talking to you.

“Kaku.”

“Hm?”

“I miss him.” you mumbled, “After he came home, I waited outside his bedroom last night. But I didn't knock at all. ‘s so funny, I want him to talk to me but… I don't know. I’m giving him all the time he needs. Is he going to ignore me for three years too?”

“Don’t think so. Just give him more time.” Kaku said and tapped your shoulder, “You said you’ll sleep.”

“I can’t.” you opened your eyes and sat straight up. “Might as well finish this.”

You were about to type on your laptop once again but Kakucho kind of snatched it away from you and before you could even protest—he was already typing away. “Take a nap. I’ll do this for you, we also did this you know.”

“But I can’t sleep—”

“Then eat.”

…

“Senju, come on.” you hold onto her arm before she could even go away. She has been ignoring you as well after she knew what happened. You can’t really blame her for feeling this way, out of three of them she’s the closest to their father but if she just listened to you that you didn’t know anything about that matter.

She looked away, “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Can you just let me talk?” you said and flicked her forehead causing her eyes to widen—giving you a did you just flicked my forehead look. “I’m so exhausted, Senju. So fucking listen to me, I didn’t know shit about your father. Okay? If I knew then I would have told you.”

Senju frowned but then her facial expression softened. “Fine. I guess. Now, let me go.”

That was fast.

The melancholic look on your face faded a bit when Senju sat beside you, “So, we’re okay?”

“Yeah. We’re okay. I’m still mad but… I love you.” she said and pulled you for a hug, you were relieved. Of course, you are. You know Senju, you had some petty fights with her when you were kids and she always tells you this. She’s mad but she’ll hug you. That’s what she always does.

You just hope her brother’s like this too. But you don't even know why your husband’s such a tough nut to crack. You get that what you did was wrong but if he just listened to you.

You were about to pull away from Senju but she held onto you—not long, you were hearing her sniff. “Takeomi had a fight with Dad last night. Everything’s not okay.”

“I’m sorry.” you whispered as you tapped her back, “Everything’s going to be alright.”

“I hope so.” she pulled away from you, “Haruchiyo’s still not talking to you? He doesn't answer mom’s calls either.”

You just responded to Senju with a nod. To be honest, you can barely see him in your house these past few days. It’s either he’s out with his friends or he’s locked himself up in his room. You’re dying to talk to him but you had to give him time.

It’s just that you don't know for how long.

“Okay but now I really have to go. I have my class in like fifteen minutes.”

You chuckled and gave her one last hug before letting her go, “But we’re okay, right?”

“Yeah. Okay, we’re okay. Let me go. If I get marked I’ll get mad at you again.”

“Just makin’ sure.” you smiled, Senju just rolled her eyes and ran to her building while you're left in the student lounge. Hina, Emma and Yuzuha still have their classes, that's why you were left alone doing your tasks. You were about to walk out from the lounge when Haruchiyo entered with his friends.

There’s this urge to go and pull him aside but that was shot down when he just glanced at you for a bit and continued on talking with Koko as if you aren't there or as if you’re just some stranger to him.

So, is this what he wanted?

He was like a completely different person to you. You couldn't even recognize who he is even if you stared at him and you know what’s funny to you is—this is the longest that you get to see him after a week and he’s not even looking your way.

The feeling inside your chest was getting old, you figure you should be used to this but how can you get used to this? Is there no fixing this ever?

You had no choice but to look away and go about your day. Even if it’s hard, not to see him smile at you. Not to feel his arms wrapped around you when you wake up.

You get it. He’s hurting and he needs to figure things out. It doesn't even matter that you were hurting, as long as he comes back to you. He will, right?

You sighed and picked your things up as you made your way out of the lounge. Every step was heavy for you, it felt like there’s a huge chain wrapped around your heart.

And he’s got the key to set your heart free.

“Hey.”

You stopped walking when you heard that familiar voice behind you—that voice that always makes your heart beat rapidly, that gets your heart working a bit more than it’s supposed to. Slowly, you turned around and saw his figure towering over you.

And the next thing you knew, your face was buried on his chest as he pulled you close to him, arms wrapped your body so tight as if you’ll go and slip from him if he ever let you go. “Haru…?”

“I miss you so much.”

[pollyaunt]

Last words - Part 1

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses/ Nessian | Part 2

TW: Angst. WAY TOO MUCH ANGST + cussing.

Summary: Every relationship has ups and downs right? But in this case Cassian's one mistake ruins his life.

a/n: heyyyy im back again at 2 am with a new fic idea woohoo !!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassian was a big fucking idiot. Yes, that's what he was he decided.

As soon as the words slipped out of his mouth he instantly regretted them. He doesn't even remember now what they were actually fighting about but only one scene kept replaying in his mind again and again:

"All I'm asking is you have to communicate about your feelings with your partner for Christ's sake! You can't keep bottling your feelings inside you and secondly a relationship works when both the partners put efforts! And I don't think you understand that Nesta!"

Nesta gave him the coldest glare and said, "I'm so sorry Cassian that I am not doing what you want me to do. You knew which type of person I am when you started dating me and then proposed me! I don't know how to communicate without the fear of being judged but I am trying!"

He scoffed, "You always say that 'you are trying' but am I seeing a progress? I think the fuck not! And why is that? Cuz my fiance here has trust issues which I'm trying to resolve since past 3 fucking years but I'm tired now!"

Nesta couldn't believe what he was saying. She normally wasn't a person to show emotions at all, but Cassian was the only person who could break her walls and see the person she truly was. He told her that no one's perfect and that he loved her just the way she was. Little did she know what he would say next will be more than enough to break her heart.

"I'm exhausted with all this! You always keep your feelings from me and expect me to not do the same. How's that fair Nesta? I'm trying to keep you happy but you never share your goddamn opinion! At this point the lack of communication has made it extremely difficult to love you anymore! I feel unfortunate now to have you as my to-be-wife!"

As soon as he said those words, his eyes widen realizing just then what he said. And the look he received from Nesta was utterly heartbreaking.

"Oh God, Nes-" She didn't give him a chance to speak and walked towards him, removed the ring from her left finger with extra force and threw it towards his chest.

"Rot in hell, Cassian." With that she stormed towards the door of there apartment while picking up her car keys from the counter.

She could hear his apologies behind her but what was said, was said.

With one last cold look towards Cassian from Nesta, the doors to the lift closed upon.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

To say Nesta was furious would be an understatement. She was truly and completely heart-broken.

Tears gathered around her eyes but she blinked furiously to keep them away. She was gripping the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles turned white. She wanted to scream, cry, do anything that could take off her frustration but she kept driving.

She didn't know where she was going. She just wanted to escape that apartment. His last words kept on repeating in her mind again and again which just added it to her heartbreak.

Difficult to love you! Unfortunate!

She was so absorbed in the memory, that she didn't see the truck coming from the other way. Only when the truck's headlights flashed did she come back to reality but it was too late.

The damage had already been done. The enormous truck came at its highest speed and crashed into her car with full force causing her car to roll onto the road several times. Only when it finally stopped did people around come noticing her car standing upside down with Nesta Archeron still inside.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: tell me if you liked it !! send me prompts and tell if you want to be part of tag list.

tag list: @talkfantasytome

[lilypixels]

ALL THE ASKS (AM I FASTER THAN JADE? xD)

@lazysunjade you both were like within 10 secs of each other xD made me laugh, so i think its gonna be good day~

1. how long have you been on simblr?

at least 4 yrs...probably more like 5 now, wow

2. what does your account specialize in? (cc, builds, story, etc.)

uhhh story and edits I guess, tho I am starting to do some recolors and conversions; i do builds as well but not that often atm

3. where do you get inspiration?

everywhere tbh!

4. are you maxis match/mix/or alpha?

maybe more mix tho i have my moments being more one or the other lol

5. what's your favorite kind of content to see?

i dont think i have specific type, i enjoy all kinds

6. have you made any friends on here?

yes! if we are mutuals and talk, we are friends in my mind :3 my longest friendship on here would have to be with you tho~

7. how long does _____ take you? (refer back to #2)

anywhere from 30 min to 3 hrs (i think that was my longest time anyway, but that was cause i was doing something new)

8. do you wish you could do something else? (make cc, edits, etc)

oh i think many of us do and im no exception! i wish i could make cc and gonna attempt exploring that more within the month

9. what's your most popular post?

edit wise this one, but technically speaking, its the cat overalls i think

10. what post do you wish did better?

theres a few i suppose, but i've tried getting myself to point where any notes make me happy; all that matters is that im pleased with my work

11. what post did people love that surprised you?

that same aforementioned edit xD i remember getting to point where i was like "why are people still liking this" asdhj idk if i could handle getting lots of notes on the daily like some lol

12. do you have more than just a simblr?

i have cc finds if this means tumblr blog

13. what's your favorite sims game?

while i liked what i played of s3, i didnt play that long before s4 came out and it was with this game i discovered cc and this community, so i would say s4 cause of this

14. what era of simblr do/did you love the most and what do you miss the most?

i miss lots of past moments, but there were also bad, so im fine with this one (besides seeing earlyaccess everywhere ajkdhk nothing against it, just the numbers spiked ya know and its hard to keep up)

15. what time of the year on simblr is your favorite? (simblreen, christmas, etc)

simblreen of course!

16. whats your favorite post?

of mine? oh idk...i can't even remember all posts off hand. lets go with anything victor is in lol

17. what post took you the longest?

i think this one cause as mentioned briefly above, i was doing something new and had to experiment with many things

18. are you currently working on anything?

i should, but no; im consumed with simblreen rn

19. what does/did simblr do for you?

uhhh provide a place for me to be creative and have fun

20.tag someone who's work you love/who inspires you!

oh man uhhh you, jade, @radioactivedotcom @stinkrascal @warmsol @solstice-sims theres so many more (as you can tell from the number of blogs i follow and as i said, inspo everywhere)

[undergrounddweller89]

NOTE : THIS IS A SPIES IN DISGUISE AU, WALTER IS THE CRIMINAL MASTER MIND AND KILLIAN IS THE SCIENTIST

THIS DEFINITELY CONTAINS SEXY TIMES

Not well written though probably and I tend to rarely go through my work to look for mistakes.

Despite Killian being kidnapped and handcuffed EVERY THING IS CONSENSUAL... Tristan is crazy obsessed with Beckett so he's very happy.

Now you've had your warning you read this instead of scrolling past that's on you, lemon is a tag used for stuff like this but if you feel like there are other tags I need to use please do tell me!)

The bag was stuffy, head phones covered his ears, they'd knocked off his glasses in their struggle to capture him, he could barely see without them.

Now his hands were cuffed behind his back, a hand on each upper arm, honestly Tristan was terrified, the car ride seemed a life time, though realistically it was only ten to fifteen minutes long.

He'd pleaded saying he was a no body just a scientist the agency threw in the corner and that no one ever took him seriously.

He was hunched, trying to tuck his head into his shoulders, so this was how he was going to die.

He felt every bump of the car and turn, trying to map out where he was going but he didn't recognise this route, usually he rode every where on his bicycle, deep blue with a silver bell and a basket on the front to pick up dinner on his way home...

Home where he could research the Criminal Master mind Walter Beckett ...to a near unhealthy obsession...alright it was unhealthy when you imagined him pushing you back against the table parting your thighs, fucking you and making you look at him by holding your head with his clawed hand....

Fuck was he going to die thinking about Walter, a man who didn't even known he existed...well he had no one, nothing living to care about...he might as well think of someone who made him happy even if only in his fantasies before he died right.

He was pulled from the car where he tried kicking at his handlers, Tristan didn't get very far though as one of them punch his gut winding him, he was wheezing as he was taken out of the vehicle.

"You know he's gonna kill you for that right."

The first handler smacked the second on the back of the head

"Only if this limp dick tells him, he's too much of pussy to squeal."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, but Im not covering your ass."

He was dragged through the facility, Tristan refused to make it easy to carry him and went limp.

Both handlers groaned, fuck, great a difficult one, well the first wasn't going to risk hurting him into compliance and the second knew he was on thin ice, if that punch had bruised him their boss was literally going to kill him.

Other workers watched as they went by, another two carried Tristans legs who now tried to struggle again, what the hell was going on!

He was sat in a chair with ease, after all their boss was right there, the workers didn't dare handle him as if he were anything less than a handle with care package with fragile taped all over him.

"Well are you going to take that off him, it's a little hard for dramatic entrances when he can't even see me."

"Yes sir, right away."

The bag was pulled off swiftly with the headphones clattering to the floor.

Tristan squinted, everyone looked like blurs, he could see faces only as different coloured splodges, his hair sticking up in different angles, shoulders aching now, he still sat up right, heart racing

"Where are his glasses?"

Tristan turned to where he heard the man speak, it was cold, commanded respect...familiar but no it couldn't be...

"Sebastian, where are his glasses?"

"I ah, James you see knocked them off in the struggle and-"

A metal arm, supporting four claw digits at it's end clasped his face

"What did I tell you about people with glasses, remove them, keep them what Sebastian."

He had brought the man to his knees holding so tightly Sebastian could feel his skull on the verge of cracking, he let out a cry as he managed to finish the sentence

"Safe!"

"Oh good you can listen to orders, now James..."

He'd let go of Sebastian and beckoned over his other crew member, Tristan knew this voice but it couldn't be him, he must still be disorientated.

"James, what have I told you about harming what belongs to me."

He said softly, curling his his claws around James's tie, Sebastian stepped back, well he had warned his coworker and with a snap and flick of his wrist the tie had been pulled so hard and tight the man's neck had been snapped.

"He had trouble following orders, first few times is understandable, you're settling into this new life but after five years it should not be that hard."

Tristan wished he'd had his glasses because if this was Walter Beckett he would have just witnessed one of Becketts trade mark moves and yes maybe would have gushed like a fan boy.

He was going to pretend it was him until he could see at the least and imagine he was kidnapped by Thee Walter Beckett.

He listened to him calling in clean up crew and for someone to bring up the glasses, his shape coming in closer and closer, it had to be him, the silver blurred limb was on his left, the hair colour.

"Awww poor baby..."

The younger man cooed.

Tristan tried very hard not to lean into his touch when his hair was stroke back and felt the Claws against his scalp

"Don't worry now, my useless men have been dealt with, come on now look up at me."

He didn't exactly give Tristan a choice as he place a claw under his chin

"See, now Mr Mcford I know I have my fans, the ones who do their fanart, their fictions whatever you will, I keep an eye on anyone who searches my name out of curiosity..."

He tapped his nose

"You Mcford like clock work will watch videos that have only the briefest flash of me, pour over articles, fictions..."

He smirked tracing one long metal claw along his jaw

"Reader x Walter Beckett, but you got tired of them, skinny little me always being pinned, submissive, no, no you wrote your own, named yourself Killian, nice name by the way, where I owned you, laid you back and made sure you knew who you belonged to."

Tristan was red, he was so fucking red and wanted the bag back on his head

"But Im not here to embarrass you, you're actually a good writer and it was the first one I ever enjoyed myself to."

Tristan wanted to implode, die right there, hearing Beckett had fucking masturbated to his little story, he let out a whine then hung his head, trying to hide how much that effected him.

The crew came up and pulled the body from the room and handed Walter the item he'd requested

"Face me now, unless you prefer being half blind."

Beckett held his face with his human hand, finger tip tracing a cheek bone, my they were sharp weren't they, what a pretty scientist.

Placing the glasses on, small lights flickered then settled.

"They read your eyes and the lenses adjust to the prescription you need."

Walter explained now casually sitting on Mcford's lap, an arm around the back of his neck.

"I'll cut to the chase, as I said we check everyone who even so much as types my name out of curiosity and when I found out you were working for the agency that has reaaaally caused a lot of problems in my life I researched you."

Tristan was staring, no way did Walter not feel the protruding problem down below, you would literally have to be either dead or have no feeling in your body to not notice that, he was still, he listened to him, was he having a wet dream, it had to be a dream right?

"Besides my uh Internet history...what...what did you find out."

"Oh you know, that you're an under appreciated scientist who came up with designs so dangerous they had to lock them away...and I may have slightly stolen them, now while I could personally and am the only qualified person here to build such delicious technology...."

He slipped his hand under Tristans lab coat, slowly rubbing his palm against his chest and smirking at the shakey breath and the way Tristan adjusted his hips, oh he could certainly feel that reaction

"I have an evil empire to run...I need you Tristan, I want you..."

He leaned in closer, lips nearly at his.

Mcford whined, fuck he was close Walter hadn't even done anything but the raised brow and smirk on Becketts face told him he could feel him twitch and gasped as the hand that'd been on his chest traveled down a finger tip teasing the head of his cock through his pants.

"How do you feel about working for me Tristan, build your machines and what ever else comes to mind, I need someone as competent as myself..."

Walter kneaded him slowly, to the point the slow pace was painful, his mouth was open and another ragged breath left him, this had to be a wet dream a really, vivid wet dream, please don't let his alarm go off...he pressed against his neck, forehead on his shoulder as Walter stroked the back of his neck with metal Claws, cool against his flesh.

Even if he was awake, of course his answer was yes....

"We could even build something together, I'm sure you'd just love to see me work..."

Beckett leered.

Walter was so warm, he was here, touching him, fucking touching him, dragging it out and making him nearly beg and he loved it.

"Yes..."

Tristan panted, lifting his hips trying to get more friction, he still had his handcuffs on he couldn't reach out and touch the man he wanted, his wrists struggling instinctively to part.

"Look at me and say it, Tristan."

That purr went through Mcford's entire being, lifting his head whimpering, biting his lip, he loved the tease, feeling so close to the edge and having Walter deny him...he begged to some god out there that Walter would finish it at least, it was so intense, he knew his clothes were stained with precum, Beckett seemed to enjoy reminding him he knew it was there by playfully tapping a finger over the tip of his cock where the damp patch was.

"Yes...I'll work for you....I have mmmphn wanted to since I ahh first saw you... Oh my god..."

Walter smiled, watching him, listening to him, oh how blue his eyes looked when his cheeks were this flushed, absolutely gorgeous.

"Oh Tristan there is no god, only me and my loving hands."

He returned, unbuckling Tristans belt and reaching in, blushing a little himself as he watched Tristans eyes nearly roll up, his head falling forward.

Tristan watched as Walter finished him off how desperately he wanted to hold onto him, press fingers into his back, he couldn't remember the last time he came this fucking hard or if he'd ever...he was speechless...breathless and fuck he'd made a mess of them both.

He was putty in Walters hands, feeling a claw lift his head again, moaning softly still, his body was tingling all over

"Welcome to the team Killian."

Beckett said sweetly before leaning in and kissing him.

[maizumis]

don't ask for ANY reasonings 😚

1. I just think that you play any musical instrument, specially piano. I don't know why I think this but I do get those musical vibes from you

2. You're into skin care routines. Look I have a reason for this. Yo sound like someone who's self conscious, which is obviously a good thing, so I think you also focus on skin care apart from fashion. (definitely didn't read amaya's ask)

3. I also think that you can draw. or paint, or sketch, literally anything related to art. Even doodlings.

4. Socially, I think you're that person in a friend group who'd start the conversations whether it's with people you know or strangers.

5. SURPRISE SURPRISE BESTIE, I THINK YOU'RE INTO ANIME 🤩

6. I also think that you're into working out and eat healthy kinda girl which is again impressive

7. A literal clown 🤡/j

8. TELL ME WHY DO I THINK THAT YOU'RE LIKE THE MOTHER OF THE GROUP? Like the motherly figure who's there for almost everyone

9. You can't stand sour or spicy things. I just think you can't pls bye

10. You're really organized person. Like fixed schedules for everything unless some thing comes up. You don't like it when things get messy and you're punctual.

aha yes 10 points and watch me get everything wrong 😀

okay imma put a read more beacuse i dont wanna bother people

I do play the piano bestie ‼️

I'm into skin care routines but I can't keep doing them, maybe a week or two but watch me forget about it lmao, I don't think I'm actually self-conscious because I don't really care about other opinion, that a very good fact and a very bad one too cause sometimes is ogeyyy listening to others

I'm very good at drawing/painting and I do it to calm myself but I prefer painting by far just beacuse I want everything perfect and I can't draw eyes so yeah lol

YES TOTALLY I! LOVE! TALKING!

I'm into anime since January 2020, after a party I started Naruto with a friend, now she is on straight tiktok and I'm on Tumblr---

I don't hate working out but I wouldn't tell you I love it, I prefer sports basketball. I love baking and cooking so the healthy meals are A BIG YESSSSS! I actually lost 33pounds on lockdown lol

ma'am I think I need to report this to amaya---

LMAOOOOOOOO THATS A BIG NO, yk how I told you about my school, I'm in the same year as people two years older than me beacuse of the weird dinamics of the HS, so I'm literally the child, I remember once my bestie had to separate from a tree in a party beacuse I was dancing with it please, also should I make a tag for this? is not suggestive but I know people feels uncomfy so idk

I LOVE SPICY FOOD please ma'am just add more spice, I'm starting to think I like spicy food just to feel something lmao

Im indeed a very organized person, for example slsngrthodnd I have my whole wardrobe ordered by colors/fabric/type of clothes and yes, I'm very punctual when I'm by myself, if my mom has to drive me somewhere, watch me go two hours late lmao

[rosesanthology]

Escape Plan | Matsukawa Issei x F!Reader [mafia!AU]

This took me SO MUCH TIME to write aaaaaah it's not surprising that it's so long :0 i just have many many feelings for Matsukawa Issei ALSO im begging y'all to listen to the playlist before/as you read please !!

Im kinda pissed that i cant add a "read more" option since im on mobile tho :\

(Also ngl at first i planned to get one of the 2 shot but i didn't have the heart to go thru with it)

Warnings : Fluff, it starts with humor but at some point it gets angsty ???? Idk y'all tell me

- Au that could be considered as a ennemies-to-lovers type of situation

[Tags] : @raevaioli and @haikoo like i cannot stress this enough @haikoo this your main manz

- if you could only use one sentence to describe your job to a Karen it would be : stealing from the rich in order to trick other rich people

- you had been what the people would call a spy for most of your life now, the Tokyo based Nekoma Organisation being something close to a family

- you worked with both of your very good friends, Kuroo Testurou and Kozume Kenma

- Kuroo, the leader of your little squad, had been the first one to open up to you when you joined

- he was a gifted chemistry genius and you were sure he could make any poison or soporific out of the most random stuff

- he also had insane combat and physical abilities which made him fit to act in a lab as well as on mission grounds

- Kenma was a little more reserved at first, he was the same age as you but still was really reluctant to accept you as one of his own at first

- when he saw how much Kuroo trusted you and how interested you were in his work he slowly but surely found himself caring for you

- to put it simply Kenma, better known as "apple pi" was a hacker. His job ranged from creating computer viruses to full on enabling the security of whole museums

- despite his cute appearance and shy demeanor he was probably the scariest of you three

- finally, you Y/L L/N was the infiltration and weapons expert of the group, you could weild literally anything from guns, to swords to,,,,,metal rods (but you don't wanna talk about this one) and you were of great help when deciding which infiltration angle was the best in missions

- Kuroo, under the orders of Boss Nekomata, quickly taught you the dangers and ways of the job during your first months working with them, the organisation specializing in outsmarting rich bastards and stealing their precious ressources in order to make "better use of them"

- if they were hoarding a particularly efficient brand of medicine, your goal was to steal it all, and sell it to people in need for free or a low price

- if they were in possession of some important object like let's say,,,,,the construction plans for the emperor's new vacation house, you stole it, made copies to sell at a high price to the highest bidder and your good affiliate, the Fukurodani Corporation would keep an eye on the original as part of their personnal collection, you were fine with that

- yeah they were others organisations like that in Tokyo, your friends from the Fukurodani Corp of course but also the Shiratorizawa elite crime group with who you had worked a couple times before

- ah and there was the Yakuzas too....honestly they were the only group in Tokyo with whom you were still on dangerous terms with

- they didn't like Nekoma in their affairs and you didn't like them in yours, but you tolerated each other

- your boss had established a truce with the representant of the big Yakuza group of your area, Kondo "the viper" Takara, a truly scary woman who had blasted her way to the one of the top positions of the hierarchy

- she even had a cool nickname ヾ(｀ε´)ノ

- but you knew better than to mess with them

- all in all y'all kept doing your jobs well, not bothering anybody

- except for one remaining rivalry with some Miyagi group

- the Aoba Johsai Institution.

- well, rivalry would be a strong word because you kinda got along with that Iwaizumi guy, he was a great hand to hand combat fighter and you respected that

- the others however ? Trash. 👁3👁

- they seem to act like Tokyo will be their territory in the next 5 seconds flat like ??

- THEY DON'T EVEN GO THERE ????

- "they be acting like they can just swoop in and eat OUR rich" you had told Kuroo and Kenma one day over ramen

- spoiler alert : it was a bad idea cause Kuroo snorted and almost made the noodles go up his nose

- no but seriously they always seemed to take advantage of YOUR missions to attract attention

- how did they even know which missions you were on anyway ??? (Kenma and Kunimi are actually good friends cause they play video games together but he'd never tell you that)

- it's like that one time you infiltrated a business company's heir's residence and then you came across a dude named Hanamaki and you had the HARDEST time whisper shouting to him how blowing up the whole place was a bad idea to retrieve one (1) diamond

- at the end you felt so tired that you gave it to him anyway ಥ_ಥ ("just take it ffs" "really ??" "Don't make me regret this")

- they also had the single worst person ever on one of their teams.

- Matsukawa Issei

- just thinking about it made you want to take your metal bat and break something in your shared room with your two other friends

- seriously that guy was like the epitome of clownery

- he's also supposed to be his team's gun expert except that's not the best task for someone who refuses to take anything with him but his freaking FISTS

- the first time you had met y'all ended up being on the same case to assassinate some guy who had kidnapped some cute freckled kid from a place in Miyagi called Karasuno

- EXCEPT HE WAS IN TOKYO SO IT WAS YOUR DUTY !!! NOT HIS !!!!

- you had Kenma on the earbud telling you about the guy's position in the club you were currently one street away from. You were posted on the rooftop of a building with a sniper rifle ready to get done with it and go save the kid but GUESS WHO COMES IN FISTS SWINGING WHEN YOU LITERALLY HAD THE TARGET IN SIGHT

- and he had the nerve to look straight toward your rifle's aim and flip you off while smirking

- sir you're about to catch these hands🚶🏽

- he had knocked him out alright and he got the young boy out but you were NOT ready to let that slide so you quickly got down and crossed path with him at the back exit of the club

- "what exactly do you think you were doing in there ?" Listen. You may have sounded confident enough saying that but you had NO idea that this dude was like a whole ass giraffe

- and he knew he was tall so he had the audacity to say

- "sorry can't hear you so well from down there midget, i was just doing my job (▰˘◡˘▰)" if it weren't for the karasuno boy being right there you would have stabbed his kneecaps on sight

- anyway after that y'all just seemed to run into each other wayyyy too often

- insults were shared just as often tho

- "well butter my buns and call me betty broker if it isn't my sweet little midget shooting people !"

- "stfu before i choke you"

- "kinky but can you reach my neck ?"

- "you've sunk low enough"

-so yeah f u n  t i m e s

- aside from that, business was going great but Kuroo had had news of a very important mission for you but he insisted on letting Boss Nekomata tell you about it himself for some reason

- he'd never done that :(

- you were kinda hurt that your best friend was hiding stuff from you tbh :(

- and Kenma did not seem to know more than you for now

- so you spent a whole week just mopping around

- sometimes you would go and poke fun and the newbie Lev Haiba but it wasn't the same

- Kuroo and Kenma kept working on missions while you were left waiting for that one assignment that Nekomata seemed to keep you for

- until today when Kuroo finally told you that the boss was requesting you in his office

- ngl you were EXCITED

- maybe you would have to zipline down the Tokyo tower (σ≧▽≦)σ maybe he was going to let you take a chainsaw with you this time (σ≧▽≦)σ

- maybe he- "oh" you deadpanned, stepping foot into the office and seeing none other than your arch nemesis, Matsukawa Issei in all his pisces clown glory

- "why tf are you there shitty eyebrows"

- "i had a good day too Y/N ! thanks for asking :D" today was the day. You were 100% ready to kill him and the knife that was attached to your thigh strap seemed like such a good option rn-

- "stop it you two. Y/N take a sit" Nekomata gestured, as you didn't hesitate to listen to your superior even fully aware of Mattsun's eyes annoyingly following your every movement

-"Okay so. Y/N i know you may be wondering why Matsukawa's here but to put it simply we've been informed that a rich family have gotten their hands on one of Aoba Johsai's rarest item : a gold engraved katana that belonged to their first boss"

- "so what do you need us for ?" You didn't mean to use "us" but you knew better than to piss off your boss, he was like a parental figure come on

- "i need you guys to infiltrate an auction held by said family and steal it back in the span of one week. It's up to you to work together or not but keep in mind that our arrangement states that we're autorised to make copies of the katana for future sells."

- you guys nodded, after all you were professionnals before everything and you were about to leave when Nekomata put something on the table

- "here are the keys to your appartment near the auction site it'll be your hideout !"

-.....now this had to be a cruel joke-

- "id rather sleep under a bridge then live with her for a whole week"

- "wow this is the first time we agree on something Mattsun" the oh so familiar nickname dripped in venom as you said it, unsure of what was supposed to happen

- "oh yes you could but i suppose that you don't have the supplies and tools that you will definitely need during that mission :)"

- you locked eyes with the brunette for a minute before reluctantly stomping to the table and grabbing hold of the keys and adress written on a paper, storming out of the door,  letting out a loose "come on shitty eyebrows we have data to collect" to your new....partner ? Ugh it was about to be a long week

-  it turns out the appartment was a lot smaller than you hoped for, with two single person beds, a computer post and different storing purposed furniture

- it was a common thing however, because the last thing an undercover spy would want is to draw attention with a flashy hideout

- the first step was to gather information on who would be at the auction which shouldnt be too hard

- "hey ill take the lead and contact my friend so that he can determine who is going to be here" you said as you sat on the chair in front of the computer

- "mm yeah you do that ill check what kind of weapons have been provided to us" Mattsun had no difficulty finding them as the drawers well full of them....this was very promising

- Kenma had just sent you the list of people that had been invited to the event, and you recognised many names as being members of the powerful Yakuza group lead by Konda Takara, of course.....the infamous viper herself

- you called out to Mattsun to show him and briefly explained what they were up too and how they usually fonctionned

- the auction was to take place the last 3 days after an opening party, leaving the rest of the week for preparations

- they usually took their time in comitting their crimes so you thought that stopping them mid plan by taking advantage of it was the best way to get the sword

- Mattsun didn't have anything to say for the moment, seemingly thoughtful about the whole situation

- "just so you know" you started, already regretting the decision of talking in your head, "i don't plan on being friends with you anytime soon but i feel like for this we should at least try not to rip each other's hair out"

- "i never planned on that second option"

- "huh ?"

- "i hope you know that we've never had a single conversation without insults of some kind before so for the sake of both of us it would be better to actually get to know each other since we're supposed to work together"

- you hated to admit it

- but he was right

- however you didn't comment on it, opting for throwing him a dry "let's sleep" before plopping yourself on your own bed on the other side of the room

- this is about to be one hell of a week

-3 days had passed in the crammed appartement both you and Mattsun struggling to inform yourself on each specific individual that was going to be present at the auction

- right now, you were both sitting on the floor, wearing simple oversized shirts and pyjama pants and shorts, cheese pizza box laying on top of the document covered surface

- "Mattsun, pass me the paper about Okuda Takeda please" :000

- Matsukawa froze, because he knew that in 2 days of living together y'all had establised that you wouldn't be at each other's throats

- but hearing you using his nickname unironically and saying please ???? That was still something he had to get used to

- "what are you staring at ? Give me the paper shitty eyebrows >:[" ah there she was

- "thats my girl" he thought, handing you the document and resuming his own reading

- here's the catch : Mattsun was head over heels in love with you since like day 1 that Hanamaki told him about this pretty girl who let him take the diamond from his mission. He tried to repress his feelings as he had noticed that you seemed way closer with your friend Kuroo who he had seen on missions with you

- maybe you liked him

- he would understand, he seemed way more confident than him and he was also probably way smarter since he was a genius and all

- also the way you were always soft to him and not Matsukawa kinda got to him

- he wanted you to hug HIM after a mission too and NOT insult him

- but he judged it for the better as he still got to be close to you in his own way with the playful fights you always seemed to pick with him

- it was easier than confronting his feelings or rejection

- this mission proved to make things so much harder for him tho

- like yeah he saw you being a badass plenty of other times but now ?

- he got to see you being all clingy and grumpy in the morning (he never knew being called a dumbass while you were falling back asleep on his shoulder was his thing but hey) , got to see your nose scrunch up when you were focusing on mapping out the position of the vent system of the venue

- he could go on for hours about how much he loved you and your plan was not making it easy.....profiting off the yakuzas' plan took way too much waiting and he understood that you wanted it to go as well as possible but he just couldn't keep living like this until then

- it felt like torture

- and he did not want to see you in that gorgeous dress that you were supposed to wear at the auction during the infiltration

- he knew that a couple more days could drive him crazy and make him do dumb shit like kissing you

- he had thought about that a lot of times but never brought himself to do it because je knew it was pointless

- he had to take action now

- the night of the opening ceremony, the day before the Yakuzas would start their scheme

- both of you were laying in your beds, awake, that was a habit you had developped over the past nights, you were just, aware of each other's presence and then sometime you would ask him something about his life, his friends, himself

- it made his heart beat too fast everytime and he could feel himself falling even more by the second when he heard you giggling talking about the time you pulled a prank on your friend Yaku with Kuroo

- he knew that you were already very sleepy from the way you were slurring your words

- "Y/N do you hate me ?" He said, abruptly and he heard a strangled laugh coming from you followed up by the question

- "what's that for dummy ?"

- "please answer" he asked in a whisper, sounding almost desperate

- you took a second to think about it

-you had grown quite close to your tall partner in such a short period of time, even letting your guard down and stopping from being so defensive

- "i don't hate you....i could never" you said the last part more to yourself tho but Matsukawa didn't miss it, he wished he did as he heard the soft sighs coming from your now sleeping form

- his heart ached as he got up, putting on his black coat over his mathing turtleneck shirt, taking his gun and spare map of the auction venue

- you were totally going to hate him now....

- and then he left for the opening party

- the rain was pouring outside

- for some reason you couldn't sleep well that night

- that only happened whenever Kuroo was out on a mission at night or Kenma was working in his office

- you hated sleeping alone, you couldn't do it

- being alone was the one thing you dreaded the most in your life, death was nothing if nobody knew where you were, if nobody aknowledged your existence you weren't alive

- but Mattsun was there and you trusted him.

- yeah you were kind of an ass to him during like 90% of your interactions with him but you just didn't know how to talk to him ??? He was so strong and good at what he did so you couldn't help but feel admiration but also intimidation

- yet you've felt probably more comfortable with him than anyone in your life (yes even Kuroo and Kenma weirdly enough)

- it was a nice feeling

- maybe it was because you saw him differently than them...

- but anyway

- you felt like yourself around him

- and yet

- why couldn't you sleep ?

- "Mattsun ?" You called out to him, voice cracked from not having used it for a while

- no answer

- maybe he didn't hear you over the rain....?

- you had a bad feeling about this

- "Mattsun ?" You called out a little louder, sitting up

- yep definitely

- you turned on the light and to your surprise, Matsukawa was nowhere in sight

- your heart sunk at the realization

- you were alone

- what about the plan ? Ah its true that he never said anything about it

- did he not trust you enough with it ? Did he think you were too assertive ?

- you wanted to cry but it seemed as if your brain wasn't working, your body rushing on its own to check the date and time on your phone : past 10pm on thursday night.....

- the opening party !

- "shit shit shit he must have gone there to take them by surprise wtf is he thinking doing this alone?" You thought aloud, maybe it would trick your body into not being scared

- at this point you were terrified, rushing to get the red dress on as well as putting your 2 guns under each of your thigh straps

- is he alone ? Surrounded by highly trained and dangerous Yakuzas ? What if....you were too late ?

- you didn't have time to think too much about it as you knew that this kind of thoughts led nowhere.

- you had to infiltrate that party the fastest you've ever done in your life and see for yourself, luckily, the venue was only a few crossroads away from your appartment

- truth was Mattsun's plan was not so bad

- after all you had insisted on making him find info on every staff member there too so it's thanks to you if he just so happened to know what type of guy that one waitress liked in order to flirt with her and convince her that he had forgotten his watch in one of the closed off aeras of the venue

- the place was absolutly gigantic, after all it was a mansion bought will illegal money

- he hated this, he just wanted to get it over with, retrieve the sword, gtfo and go back to Miyagi forever so that he wouldn't feel the pain of the illusion of being by your side when you were clearly far ahead of him

- you'd always been anyway

- he had finally reached the generator room and opened the vents with much difficulty as the room was a mess of cardboard boxes and storage shelves

- he was just going to cut the power, which would take about 15 minutes to get back, allowing him to go thru the vents to the main hall that was right thru the wall to his side, retrieve the sword and just make a run for it

- hopefully the rain would cover most of the sound he made so that was even better

- see that would have been great if he hadn't felt the icy cold metal of a gun at the nape of his neck as he was fiddling with the generator

- he had been caught.

- it was the end.

- shit he fucked the whole mission over and now even you didn't have a chance to-

- "what exactly do you think you're doing Mattsun ?" You said coldly even tho the hurt in your tone didnt go unnoticed by the taller man

- "haha Y/N whatchu doing here on this fine night ? You look stunning btw"

- "Cut the crap shitty eyebrows i asked you a question"

- you finally lowered your gun allowing your harsh glare to show how upset you truly were

- damn, Matsukawa really felt shitty :\

- he'd never seen you like that- well not soaked from the rain but....so vulnerable to him

- all your feelings talks happened in the dark of night in your hideout, he'd never seen your face look so pained before

- "I did what was best for both us..."

- "bullshit." He wasn't sure that he believed himself either to be honest

- "what the fuck are you even doing anyway ? I thought you and i were in this mission together ?? Did nothing matter to you ? I finally think that i found someone who i could trust other than my fucking family and that's what you do ? Ditch me for your own profit ?? You did what was best for your damn self Matsukawa"

- you were upset. He got it really, his insecurities had gotten the best of him like they often did....except he didn't have the strength to confront them, to confront you about it. So he got it and he didn't retaliate.

- "so what ?? You're not even going to say anything ?? Not even TRY to fucking apologize ? Do you really don't care ?" You searched for his eyes, but little did you know that he just....couldn't talk nor maintain eye contact with you right now

- "Mattsun...i thought you and i had...something ? I don't know maybe i hallucinated or some shit but i thought we were at least friends you know ? D-did you ever tolerate me at all ?"

- your voice cracked, it got lower and it cracked, and at that moment he was sure his heart broke right at this instant too

- he wanted to tell you that that was the farthest thing from the truth

- he wanted to tell you that he loved you

- but you were too far. Once again, you were miles ahead of him, more than ever

- and the sound of voices coming from the corridor did NOT HELP

- you could not afford being found here so with the professionalism left in you, you pushed your feelings away and pulled Mattsun behind a shelf, crouching and waiting

- you were so close he could feel you shivering from the cold and he felt so so bad

- but now was not really the moment

- "didn't you hear shouting ?" Shit. Maybe you should have waited until getting out of here for your heart to heart because this guard was definitely not trippin

- there were 2, luckily they didn't have the idea to split up to search the room, all you had to do was move low and close to the walls in order reach the door and well....the katana literally could not matter less to any of y'all rn

- at this moment you really regretted going out in such a hurry completly forgetting to contact Kenma, he could have hacked into the camera system and told you were they were so easily.....

- anyway, despite that you guys were stealthy enough to get out if the room

- now the problem was getting out of here.....

- you held Mattsun's wrist loosely as you ran thru the corridor of the building, thunder raging and labored breathing filling the silence

- "Y/N we could get out from the rooftop !" Right....if you could only get there then maybe you could just parcour your way out of this by getting on other rooftops....damn you were glad Matsukawa always thought of every escape plan possible

- you didn't really mean what you said earlier

- yes, you were disappointed but, you were also scared for his dumbass

- and rn may not be the best moment to realize it as you were most likely in a life of death situation but....you loved him

- fuck you loved him so much that you were running in a goddamn dress right now

- "i truly hoped it wasn't you" said a voice from the end of the lobby

- of course it just had to be the Yakuza boss you dreaded so much

- Kondo was just standing there, arms crossed but you knew better than to take her lightly

- "did you come to retrieve it ?" Its funny how her voice seemed to dominate even the full on storm outside, the occasional lightning bolt shining light from the huge windows into the corridor

- "No....let us pass please we just want to leave" Mattsun felt how tensed you were and immediatly rested his hand on his gun handle under his coat

- "yeah sure sweetheart but only if you tell your guard dog to calm down unless he wants me to cut his fingers clean off" she threatened nonchalantly as her hand met the handle of her own katana strapped to her belt

- Matsukawa was deadass glaring at her so hard you didn't recognise him

- he honestly looked like he could take her on but...you didn't feel like testing this theory tonight

- "hey hey, it's alright" you soothed him, putting your hand on his arm and squeezing slightly

- it seemed to work because he quickly let go of his gun even tho he was still glaring

- "let us go" he said firmly

- she pushed herself out of the way and motionned with her arm as if to say "go on~" in the most theatrical way

- you passed her without issues and soon found yourself on the roofs as planned in Mattsun's escape route and made it safely to the streets, rain still pouring

- you were finally letting out a breathe you didn't know you were holding all this time

- you were alive and most importantly, so was he

- you turned around and were ready to say something when he cut you off by grabbing your arms and pulling you into a kiss

- it was short but it managed to get his point across very well as well as warm you up when he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his forehead against yours

- "i love you Y/N....i swear i didn't mean to hurt you and put you in danger like that....if i knew i would have done things differently i-"

- "i love you too Mattsun and it's never been a problem to me, i've done way more dangerous things in my life than rescue my boyfriend from getting killed dummy"

- in the end, you weren't alone

- somehow he had become, your escape plan from it

[musashi]

So I've got some questions about Fi, because I borrowed Skyward Sword once, beat it, had to return it immediately, and have forgotten a bunch... But, does she have what we could call emotions? Moods? She always seemed like this wonderful little robot (and a bit sassy) and now I'm upset I can't remember much about her character! Could you talk a bit about how games and/or memories would characterize her? Any favorite interactions?

vespyyyy iluuuuuu. im putting this under a cut cause i dont think anyone follows me for zelda lol

[ALSO IF YOU’RE MOBILE READ THIS ASK ON BROWSER, THE TUMBLR APP CUTS HALF OF IT OFF :(( ]

by fi’s own words, she “does not possess the capability to understand the human spirit.” she follows that sentence up, however, by saying she DOES experience feelings, or at the very least she suspects that she has in her time with link become capable of feeling happiness and gratitude. she frames this with uncertainty, because before their journey, she had never experienced anything like that. in fi-like fashion she basically says “i have data on how people act when they feel happy, and it lines up with how I want to act right now.”

fi is basically as you said. she’s a smart sword. she’s alexa/siri for your sword. she was created for the purpose of being a personal assistant to the goddess’ chosen hero and most of who she is revolves around that, but not in a way that makes her, like… soulless. i think a lot of people would disagree with me on that but whatever fi haters dont interact. im not gonna talk much about fi as a game mechanic. i understand why ppl dislike her in that regard but that’s not what i’m interested in cause my hatred of game mechanics doesn’t bleed into the characters that carry them.

fi is analytical, data-interested, unemotional, and calculating. she does this without being particularly cold and disinterested, because she has a bit of a sarcastic edge that makes her seem like she is banking a more playful spirit for the purpose of her duties. it is incredibly cute. you get the impression there is more to her, but she has a job to do so she doesn’t want too much of it to show.

the reason that i like fi is because she fills a specific dynamic that i adore when juxtaposed against link specifically. it can be any character who fills this dynamic but fi is one of the folks who fills it best. simply put: my favourite characterization of link is when he is interpreted as an emotionally driven reckless dumbass. with triforce bearers, i adore when their one facet of the trinity cancels out the other two–so i like for link to be courageous, but unwisely so, and not because he’s all-powerful, but just because he can’t not move forward. the way i interpret all links is “too big-hearted/hyperempathetic to sit still”

skyward link is fucking exemplary of this. skyward sword is like, the most on the nose romantic telling of link and zelda we get, maybe up there with botw. childhood friends to lovers and everything, like they are incredibly tender and sweet. and link’s super emotive, you don’t really have to guess what he’s thinking. his dialogue options reflect this–there’s always one thats basically just ‘ZELDA???’ like he’s incredibly impatient to reunite with his friend. skyward sword contains what is, to this day, one of the most heart-wrenching expressions link has ever made–

hate this!!!! you watch him physically crumble in this scene. its probably the most emotion he’s ever shown in canon.

skyward link is bar none the most emotionally motivated link. i think i can say with certainty that saving the world is an afterthought to him. he’s following his destiny because he has to, but what is keeping him from falling into despair is his love for zelda.

this all ties back to fi because fi is the exact opposite. if she has emotions, they have no baring on her. her method of tackling a problem is to run calculations and probabilities and do what seems like it will have the highest turnout rate. she’s a well-oiled machine designed to produce results from gathered data, and she is link’s constant companion.

in her first scene with link, she tries to tell him of his grand destiny, and he is so emotionally shaken from losing his best friend in the world that he doesn’t really respond. fi says “to minimize your uncertainty, i will offer you some information that has a high probability of altering your current emotional state,” and then proceeds to tell him zelda is still alive. he snaps out of it, runs toward the sword, and immediately accepts his burdens.

ok so now tapping out of canon territory and into kin memories, this interaction was common. i’m kin with the hero’s spirit as a whole, and i remember so many lifetimes under my belt–but this one was the rawest. that spirit, though unbreakable, was so new. unbreakable doesn’t mean untouched by despair. i hadn’t done this before, not enough to have half the level-head i would in later lifetimes. everything hurt so much. there were so many hopeless nights.

but fi always had calculations for why that hurt, while real, wasn’t logical. she would butt into my breakdowns at the sound of her master too compromised to fight. i would spew anxious ramblings at her in a full-on panic and she would stay utterly silent until she was sure i was done and refute every one of them, point for point. hard statistics. numbers and percentages. it’s so hard for an anxious brain to hold its own against raw data. i would crumble into calm so quickly, because she never ever said things like “it’s going to be okay” or “she’s probably just x.” fi always told the truth, the numbers. I can’t articulate why, but I vastly preferred that to sentiments, because my anxious heart would just tear sentiments up.

fi existed to guide me. It made sense that she’d calm me down from those traumatic nights, because a boy too constantly gripped by panic can’t be atlas with the world on his shoulders. and when i’d thank her, she’d say that– “your gratitude need not show, master link. i am simply doing what i must.”

but over time, she stopped saying that. the more time we spent with one another, her outright refusal turned into pivots– “get some rest, master. by my calculations, we’re due for an early morning if we’re to reach our destination on time.”

eventually, the pivots turned to silence. i would thank her, and she would bow her head, and return to the sword.

so stepping back into canon, i love fi because she’s link’s brain cell. not only his intelligence and problem solving, but also his emotional & impulsive check. this is the same reason i fell so hard for zelink in BOTW specifically–because zelda is a calculating, analytical scholar/scientist type, obsessed with data and research. i love that juxtaposed against link, who i, again, view as emotional and impulsive and more keen to act than think.

and then, on TOP of all that dynamic, you think about the implications of skyward sword being first in the timeline. that, to me, is what takes link & fi’s relationship from cute and interesting to absolutely heartwarming. i don’t mean this in a shippy way, but link and fi are utterly romantic.

at the end of the game, she goes to sleep in the sword forever, and it’s with a hesitance in her heart she doesn’t expect, because before her master she’s not known love and gratitude, we don’t even know if she knew she was capable at all. she doesn’t want to part with him, but she knows she has to, and thats why she says that prayer to him, that’s why its her last words as she’s fading–“may we meet again in another life.”

she doesn’t want to go. she wants to stay beside him, serving him, seeing the world with him, being the serenity and logic his wavering heart needs. she wants to remain the searing blade beneath his fingertips, protective and strong. she wants to stay beside her master, she wants to keep him safe from all they know is out there. she wishes, she hopes, she prays.

and for hundreds of thousands of years thereafter, link’s spirit breathes again and again and again. and for hundreds of thousands of years thereafter, he finds her in a forest grove with a beam of sunlight keeping her warm as she sleeps, and he holds her tight and reverently, and as long as time continues its march onward, they will always remain hand in hand.

until breath of the wild came out, i always found this a little bittersweet. they’re always together, but they can’t speak. fi knows link, but link doesn’t know fi in the same way–he knows he feels warm when he holds the master sword. he knows that the first time he lays eyes on it, it feels like a reunion, feels like he’s done it a million times before. he knows that he must bow his head in reverence as he draws it, not because of the sword’s power, but simply because he feels it’s what she–she?–deserves. but he doesn’t know what his previous life all those centuries ago knew. not that the sword has a smile, a laugh, a cadence, a face. not that she translates ancient runes into interpretive dance, not the way she sounds when she sings. 

but botw knew i probably wasn’t the only one feeling this way.

the ambiguity of this line is beautiful. maybe there were a hundred links who journeyed far and wide and, in their most dire lows, heard a chime of ancient hylian from their sword that they knew spoke the truth of how they had to carry on. maybe it was just one solitary hero leaving gifts and offerings to a blade stuck in stone, whispering fears and anxieties to her and falling asleep at her pedestal. 

whatever the case, fi lives. though she sleeps, she breathes. fi lives.

my tag for fi is “hand of sorrow” which is a song i associate with her, solely because it contains the line–

“still, i’ll be the hand that serves you, though you’ll not see that it is me.”

[1-800-444-tune]

I have cancer ...PLEASE DONATE !!😫😪😔😞

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This is my main blog, I mostly do Tarot and other divination services on here, and most often it is for FREE. Which, this is NOT fair to me, but none of ya 'll know about my struggle.. bug it is real hear me out, yo.

ABOUT ME

I am nearly 30 years old now and I was actually first off diagnosed with Ovarian cysts at the age as young as 14 yrs old, yes, I was 16 by the time it went untreated and had spread all through my ovaries and to all the fallopian tubes and my uterus... then untreated still another couple years (because of poor health care in my smaller rural communities including my hometown) then at 19 my whole entire uterine lining was xomething of a mess, the doctors said basically all there woukd have been to prevent it from dpreading the cancer elsewhere would have been a full out take of my sexual organs , i believe the term is a hysterectomy....but on my paperwork i see here that it says that I was to undergo something else... + + The removal of an ovary together with the Fallopian tube is called salpingo-oophorectomy or unilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (USO). When both ovaries and both Fallopian tubes are removed.

But that did not happdn due to complications. So now, its spread to my other organs as youd guess, spleen, liver, kidneys, etc...it is a shitttSHOW I knowe.

This is why I would appreciate it if some one, any one would stand up for me ..just have a say in whether I eat today or not, or whether I stay in this residence without having to move this winter, I mean, Winter, its settling in.,,

I do not always feel totally blessed to be me; But ai I cannot complain when the bills is caught up and I gots good food at home(and the fight food, I am on a special expensive diet)

Cancer is expensive…AF!  If you have cancer, this is no news to you. But until cancer happened to me, I had no idea how expensive it truly was.  I think it’s safe to say that that seeing how much it will cost to undergo treatment is almost as frightening as getting the actual cancer diagnosis.  My diagnosis has definitely opened my eyes to the shocking reality of the financial burden that cancer causes for an individual and their family.  The astronomical expenses that accrue from treatments, tests, surgeries, scans, integrative therapies, etc are outrageous! While there are both public and private health insurance that defray medical and drug costs, huge out-of-pocket costs can be devastating to patients and force major changes in their lives. I’ve had to make several changes and my life has been affected indefinitely due to the financial burden that cancer has caused. The financial stress it causes for people during treatment until remission alone is hard, but imagine living with cancer where the treatments, doctor visits, tests and lifestyle adjustments are ever enduring, like when you have metastatic cancer.  It’s life altering… to say the least.

HOW MUCH DOES CANCER TREATMENT ACTUALLY COST?

This is an impossible question to answer. The cost of treatment obviously varies from individual to individual based on their diagnosis, the type of treatment they will require and the longevity of the treatment.  However, the “typical” cost of breast cancer looks a little something like this according to recent studies.

“For patients covered by health insurance, out-of-pocket costs for breast cancer treatment typically consist of doctor visit, lab and prescription drug copays as well as coinsurance of 10%-50% for surgery and other procedures, which can easily reach the yearly out-of-pocket maximum. Breast cancer treatment typically is covered by health insurance, although some plans might not cover individual drugs or treatments. For patients not covered by health insurance, breast cancer treatment typically costs $15,000-$50,000 or more for a mastectomy or $17,000 to $35,000 or more for a lumpectomy followed by radiation.”

New cancer drugs are being approved at a fast pace.  Numerous are approved each year and new drugs are constantly in trial and in the pipeline to be FDA approved. In the past, these drugs might cost around $10,000 for a year’s treatment. But newer studies have found that newly-approved cancer drugs carry price tags between $120,000 and $170,000!  One of the drugs I take as part of my daily cocktail, is a newly FDA approved drug called Ibrance… for heavily pretreated ER+ metastatic patients.  It has worked wonders for me but a month supply of this drug is over $12,000.  I am blessed to have good coverage, but not all people are as fortunate.

“Depending on the individual case and the type and number of treatments needed, the total cost of breast cancer treatment, on average, can reach $100,000 — or, in advanced cases, $300,000 or more. This includes the cost of the chemotherapy drugs, additional drugs to help manage side effects, administration of the drugs and medical care for chemotherapy-related complications.”

And again, if you are anything like myself and are living with a metastatic diagnosis, treatments and care is endless with no foreseeable light at the end of the tunnel.

😔😫😫🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗😔😔😫

WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???

The never ending list of cancer expenses looks a little something like this:

 🎗Frequent doctor visits with surgeon, radiologist, oncologist.  I personally see my oncologist once every 3 weeks and check in with my surgeon every couple of months.

🎗Lab Tests.  This includes blood tests, urine tests and more. I get my labs done every few weeks when I see my oncologist to check my levels and tumor markers.

🎗Clinic visits for treatments. When I was on IV treatment I would be in the treatment center every few weeks.  Currently I take an oral chemo and only have to be in the treatment clinic once every few months for my Lupron injection. But many people are in the treatment clinic, daily or weekly to get their infusions and injections.

🎗Procedures for diagnosis or treatment. Such procedures can include biopsies, room charges, equipment..  I’ve had a few biopsies and had to get lung taps done frequently when I had lung mets.

🎗Imaging Tests. These tests include X-rays, CT scans, MRIs and PET scans which may mean separate bills for radiologist fees, equipment and any medicines used for the test.  These tests are extremely costly too…yikes!  I get PET/CT scans every 3 months, consistently for the past 6 years now.

🎗Radiation Treatment  (implants, external radiation, or both) I have never had radiology but as we know, it’s a very common treatment for most cancers.

Drug🎗 Costs. (inpatient, outpatient, prescription, non-prescription and procedure-related) The cost of chemotherapy drugs is crazy!

🎗In-Home Nurse Care (if you need it, and I do actually, yes) and its freaking insane how much these so called "nurses aids -assistants" want an hour!!

Hospital 🎗Stays. This can encompass many types of costs such as drugs, tests and procedures as well as nursing care, doctor visits and consults with specialists. I have been admitted twice, each time for a week stay for cancer related issues.

🎗Surgery. Costs can accrue from surgeon, anesthesiologist, pathologist, operating room fees, equipment, medicines…  I have had 3 lumpectomies and 2 other surgical procedures related to my cancer diagnosis.

🎗Fertility.  If you are blindsided and diagnosed in your 20’s or 30’s with a cancer diagnosis and want to have a family, freezing your eggs is an option, but a costly one.  You will be required to pay for tests, and medications leading up to the surgical procedure to remove your eggs.  I paid about $10K out of pocket to cover the cost of freezing my eggs.

While these are examples of the clinical costs associated with cancer, there are other adjustments you may want to make that will also prove to be costly.  I personally changed my diet and started to eat all organic foods and sought integrative therapies to add to my clinical regime.  You can read more about the therapies I have incorporated here.  All of these expenses add up and certainly are a financial strain.

🎗🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟And of course we need to pay... Rent, heat/hydro, car/transportation/ambulance bills , always bills bills bills billsssss.....and wifi/internet/television/mobile phone znd/or tablet or computer and gaming systems... camera.....im z girl so clothes..makeup,(I'm thrifty ricky tho) and always last, maybe maybe get sweets healthwise branded cookies or some type of peanuts(unsalted).

I never get go, go nowhere, do anything, get a coffee from a coffee shop, i can't afford to do just about anything a normal individual such as yourself yourself would do, i just cannot do it its not in my budget ... I currently own ONE lipgloss, and one broken eye liner , that is my makeup beauty kit, who the heck wants to even go out or take pictures thenn? Ugh....

Www.paypal.me/believeitxxnot is the link to the Cancer Fundraiser🎗the email for it is believeitornot.ripley.tv@gmail.com

Anyways, do not feel bad for me. I am here to service YOU for ever I know this . TY so much ily guys , please please if you will not donate to my awfully painfully really urgent cause then PLEASE SHARE POST ..... BOOOST POOOOST !! PLZ !! XOXO

I need the supporters !! Yo yo ! DOOOONAAAATEEEEE!!

A n y t h i n g h e l p s m e r i g h t n o w , p l e a s e ! ?