#and how i’m learning to make it the exact same way (about. 75% there i’d say)

[padfootastic]

summary: from euphemia to james to sirius to harry to lily luna—traditions passed down through the generations of potters. love in the form of feeding your people, aloo paranthas as a labor of love etc etc

a labor of love

(also on ao3!)

August, 1970

“Jamie, breakfast’s ready!”

Loud steps thundered around the house as her ten year old raced down the stairs. Euphemia didn’t even bother to reprimand him at this point—she knew it was a pointless endeavour. Instead, she made sure the safety charms on the staircase were always updated.

“HiMumGoodMorningWhatsForBreakfast,” James’ words came out in one single whoosh of air and it was only because this was her child that she had extensive experience with that she could decode what he was saying.

She smiled gently while placing the plate in front of him. “Aloo parantha, honey.”

“Yesss,” James hissed in pleasure, a quick fist pumped in the air, before bending forward with his nose mere millimetres away from the paranthas.

Euphemia swapped the back of his head with a ‘tsk’. “James. How many times have I told you not to smell your food? You’re not a dog.”

“Ma, you don’t get it, okay. It smells so good,” he replied with a goofy, cross-eyed expression. “Seriously, whenever I go to heaven, I just know it’ll smell like fried potato and ghee and coriander. Life can’t get any better than this.”

Euphemia could only smile at the innocent look of wonder on her son’s face as he tore a piece off to stuff it in his mouth, hoping it always stayed there. If she had to keep making him aloo paranthas every morning to keep it there, she’d happily do so. 

August, 1976

Sirius huddled closer into the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest and trying to count his breaths so he didn’t go so fast anymore.

It was some ungodly time of the day and he was sitting on the floor, pressed right up against the corner of the living room of Potter Manor, having a minor—really, not a big deal at all—panic attack about…well, everything.

It hadn’t been two days since he’d run away from Grimmauld Place and already the hopelessness was settling into his bones. He couldn’t stop replaying the words and curses and taunts and Reg’s face and—

“Sirius?” A drowsy voice cut through his spiral. He shouldn’t be surprised.

James always had a way of doing that.

“H-Hi, Jamie,” he replied, straightening up and wiping his eyes in a futile attempt to hide the tears he could feel pooling there. It wouldn’t work, he knew that, James always, always knew but he still had to try.

Sure enough, a pair of sock clad feet (adorned in little animated snitches) stopped right in front of him. His gaze traveled slowly, reluctantly, up to see James looking at him with a complicated look on his face. It was a mixture of sadness and frustration and resignation. Sirius hated that he put it there. James wasn’t made for expressions like that—he should always be happy, smiling, and this felt wrong, wrong, wrong.

Before he could do anything, though (not that there was much in his control), a hand entered his vision, palm up in invitation. Without even thinking twice about it—he would always choose James—he let himself be pulled up and straight into strong arms that were the only thing keeping him whole and grounded so far.

The hug ended in less time than it took for him to draw a full, shaky, breath. The abruptness of it left him reeling. 

“Come on,” James said, tugging him in the direction of the kitchen. Sirius followed, confused, letting himself be manhandled into the kitchen stool and watched James take something out of the cooking cabinet.

“Boiled potatoes,” he explained, already moving on to the spice rack. “Mum always keeps some ready to go.”

With quick, practiced movements, James had them peeled and mashed. Another sealed container was retrieved—‘Dough. For the rotis’—and a flat top griddle was placed on the stove.

Sirius watched the whole thing in a daze, unable to identify a single thing but being comforted all the same. It felt almost like a ritual; the rhythmic movements of James’ hands as he rolled the dough into balls, and stuffed them with the potatoes. Watching him smooth it out into a round, flat shape. 

“I didn’t know you were so proficient in the kitchen, Prongs,” Sirius finally said as the kitchen warmed up from his best mate’s ministrations, the smell of ghee-fried dough and spiced potatoes permeating the air.

“I’m not, really,” James shrugged. “But aloo paranthas are—they’re different, you know? Everyone should know how to make them.“

“I’ve never even tried them.”

“Well, then, everyone should have them at least once in their lives,” James said, firmly.

He placed a plate full of warm, steaming—aloo paranthas in front of Sirius and without even knowing what they really were, he could feel the rest of the tension seeping out of him. It’s a temporary relief, to be sure, but that it happened at all is enough to both awe and excite him.

He looked up at James with wide eyes, only to receive a knowing smile in return.

“Have a bite, Pads,” James pushed the plate closer. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

And he didn’t.

As he sat there and entirely demolished four of the wonderful paranthas—after days of not feeling the slightest pang of hunger—Sirius was helpless against the warmth that suffused his entire being, not just from the heat of the potatoes, but from the boy in front of him who’d decided to take a chance on him. Decided to welcome him not just in his arms but his house, his family. 

August, 1995

“Sirius, why are we here?” Harry asked, confused. A minute ago, they were in the garden, talking about something or the other, and then suddenly his godfather had grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the kitchen.

“Because you, my dear Prongslet, have been severely, unforgivably wronged and it’s time to start rectifying that,” Sirius proclaimed, which really didn’t help.

“…huh?”

“You just told me you’ve never had anything but bland, boring British food. Ever.” Sirius stressed the last word, making a point Harry wasn’t quite sure of.

“Yes…because the Dursleys are raging racists and Hogwarts isn’t too creative with its culinary choices,” Harry slowly said, feeling eerily like he was defending himself for…not being able to have a diverse palette?

“Exactly. If James had a grave, he’d be rolling around in it.”

Harry’s eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Look, I was supposed to do this for you since the day you were old enough to eat solids. That I didn’t…well. Let’s not go there right now. But now that I do have the chance, it’s practically first on the list of my godfatherly duties—“

“What is, Sirius?” Harry asked, slightly exasperated. The man was making no sense.

“Making aloo paranthas, Harry! Come on, keep up, it’s bad enough you’ve gone this far without—any longer and I swear, James will find a way to come back to wring my neck and tie you to a chair just so he could force feed you,” Sirius finished, a slightly haunted look in his eyes like he was speaking from experience.

Harry blinked. What—?

“Now, luckily for us, the boiled potatoes are already done. You’ve got me to thank for that bit of foresight, of course, never go without since fifth year—“

“Why?”

“—because they’re so versatile—“

“Right, of course, how silly of me.”

“Yes. So, now you’ve gotta peel and mash it, and none of that ricer or fork nonsense, either, okay? You’ve gotta really get in there with your hands.” Sirius demonstrated by taking one slightly cold potato from the bowl, expertly peeling and crushing it between his fingers. He kept going until it was almost smooth, with just the smallest hint of texture. Once done, he turned expectantly towards Harry, eyebrow raised and ‘go on’ written all over his face.

Still slightly bemused, Harry stepped forward and gingerly took a potato of his own. Trying to peel it was—not as easy as he thought and everything else faded away as he concentrated on making sure no brown bits remained. It was a surprisingly soothing task. When he had his first potato peeled and mashed, he turned to Sirius proudly.

“There. What next?”

Sirius nodded in approval. “Now, we do the rest of it.”

And standing there shoulder to shoulder, the two of them managed to get through a veritable mountain of boiled potatoes, interspersed with Sirius’ stories of the Potters, a rare, greedy pleasure for Harry.

“Your grandmum, Euphemia, she’d make this for breakfast every so often. It was James’ favorite and she could never resist his great, big eyes—you get that from him, by the way. Not many people could, mind, but it was particularly effective when he wanted to scam some paranthas out of her.”

and “Your dad wasn’t the best in the kitchen, but this was one thing he was absolutely adamant he learn. Spent hours with Effie and Rani perfecting it, as well.”

Once the potatoes were done, Sirius directed him to the spice cabinet. “Now, this is the most important bit, Harry. Everyone makes their aloo paranthas in their own way. You can have different people following the same recipe and all of their final results would still taste different.”

Harry nodded in understanding. It was a bit like Aunt Petunia’s prized Roast Dinner—she always claimed no one else could make it the way she could, not even letting Harry close to the preparation of it. 

“The first time I had this was in fifth year—similar to you, come to think of it—and I’ve experimented after, right? It was so good I had to. I went to many, many places in muggle London—roadside stalls to fine dining, you name it—and not once have I felt the same as when your dad made it with his eyes still half closed and the paranthas a little burnt on the edges and a bit undercooked in the middle. There’s no competition. So. It’s all in the spice, yes?”

Sirius handed him the container of carom seeds. “That being said, the most important bit?”

Harry leaned forward, eager, all hesitation forgotten in the face of a piece of his culture, his family being passed down to him like this.

“You’ve got to—“

August, 2017

“—measure with your heart, okay, Lils?”

Little Lily Luna Potter, only nine but adopting an air of maturity of someone much older, nodded solemnly, taking her dad’s word as gospel.

“This isn’t just food—this is you telling someone you love them. It’s a warm hug. Feeding someone, taking care of them, is no small job. So, forget all this measurements nonsense and just get in there,” Harry finished, nostalgia coating his words as he quoted his own godfather word for word.

“Get in there, Daddy!” Lily-Lu repeated empathetically.

“That’s right,” Harry chuckled, using one hand to ruffle the riotous mane of red curls piled on top of her head. “The next thing to go in is the powdered spices. Which ones are those, again?”

Lily-Lu squinted thoughtfully. “Coriander powder, red chili powder, tyoo-mer-ic, and cumin powder. That’s all of it, right, Daddy?”

Harry smiled at her serious countenance. “There’s just one more you’re missing.”

She frowned, biting her lip and mumbling under breath. “One more? Coriander…chili…cumin…and—and—garam masala! It’s garam masala, isn’t it?” The last few words were said in an excited shout, almost loud enough to startle him but he could only lean forward and place a quick kiss on her forehead in approval.

“Sure is, sweetheart. You’re a quick one, aren’t you?”

“I’m smart, Daddy, you and Mummy say so,” Lily-Lu returned, self-satisfaction radiating from every inch of her little frame

“That’s because you are; the smartest of us all, isn’t it?” Harry teased, while carefully mixing the spices with the potatoes. This one he’d do himself—Lily-Lu’s hands weren’t the steadiest yet.

“Oh!” She exclaimed suddenly, leaning forward. “The salt! You forgot the salt, Daddy.”

Harry blinked in surprise, looking down at his array of ingredients and realised he had.

“Huh. So I have, it seems. Would you like to do the honours, Lulu?” He extended the container towards her, smiling once again at how she was practically vibrating in excitement.

Harry was—not just glad but utterly ecstatic that he could do this, had the opportunity and ability for it. And he had no one but Sirius to thank for it.

Taking care of me even from the afterlife, aren’t you, Siri? he thinks with a silent offering of gratitude to the universe. I don’t think I can ever thank you enough for it, for everything. 

“And now, the absolute final step?”

“The chopped coriander!” Lily-Lu chirped, already reaching forward to clasp a handful of coriander he’d prepared beforehand. She sprinkled it all over their mixture with a high, bright giggle and Harry could’ve spent an eternity in that moment, with his child beside him and the weight of his family behind him.

[babylyctor]

can John actually control time or am i making things up? trying to reach a conclusion via tumblr posting

so as a theory this is 75% vibes. however there’s some things in the books that give me pause, and i wanted to put together all those bits and see if there’s something there. i’m not totally on board with this idea because it seems too complex to leave entirely to the last book, and i don’t know how it could fit with the rest of the narrative (or do i?) but in any case i keep thinking about it so here’s this way too long post. spoliers for everything

first, this fucking suspicious sentence that’s one of the first things John tells Harrow (Chapter 2, HtN)

"I would let you come back, bit by bit, until you felt entirely ready to wake up. I can’t. I mastered Death, Harrowhark; I wish I’d done the smarter thing and mastered Time. I have to ask you to get ready soon, and so I am going to show you something I hope might … trigger your readiness.”

so this sounds like a really dull complaint on this immortal god’s part but also i don’t trust a single thing out of this man’s mouth, and this would be the exact kind of private joke he would make if he had actually mastered Time (capitalized) too. Also the context in which it’s said, talking about Harrow coming back from her coma, regaigning consciousness, awakening... you get it, oddly relevant theme wise.

then there’s the whole Soup Moment (Chapter 25, HtN), in which John seems to actually stop time maybe? i have doubts about this so lets see what our narrator tells us;

And God said, “Stop.”

The world slowed down. Augustine and Mercymorn stopped, arrested in the act of half-rising from their seats. Ianthe stopped, left arm paused, outflung, to shield her face. You stopped, sitting upright in your chair: your bones somehow rigid and still, and your flesh chilly and rigid around those bones. The shrapnel spray from the Saint of Duty did not stop, [...] But what remained of him stopped too, half man, half rupture—his prurient details hot and white, naked insides clothed with the sinus-drying burst of the power of God.

so here John freezes all the lyctors in place, they’re still conscious, or at least Harrow is, but they have their range of movement almost totally restricted. this is not like Mercy pinching Harrow’s dorsal nerve to paralyze her, this is a completely different feeling, maybe John’s thalergetic powers? it would make sense, all the lyctors are living bodies, they have thalergy and Johs is able to manipulate that, presumably. the bits of Gideon OG cascading down the table don’t stop but that might be John selectively using his powers, or it might be that that’s no longer living flesh.

so we’re saying this could just be John’s super special thalergy magic and nothing else. the first problem though is that technically he shouldn’t be able to use it against his lyctors without touching them, thanks to lyctoral invisibility. in fact when he explodes Mercy’s chest (rip in peace queen) he expressely reaches out and touches her to do so, because presumably he needs to make contact with a body in order to use magic against it, same as Mercy. so that’s a caveat, then there are these descriptions from the same Soup Moment;

You stared down the table at him: at the blank, remote faces of your two nominal teachers—at the frozen ivory stillness of Ianthe, her hair now whitish pink—at space outside the window, where the asteroids themselves seemed to hang in tranquilized arrest.

The Emperor of the Nine Houses stood. The spell, whatever it had been, dropped like a white sun setting.

These seem to imply certain ambiguity. John’s God and all that but i don’t think thalergetic magic should be able to affect asteroids, lifeless space rocks. of course it says they “seem” to hang in tranquilized arrest, not that they are really unmoving, but i think it’s a suggestive sentence all the same, and i’m suspicious of every word Muir writes. The second quote, specifically the highlighted part, is also a bit frustrating. It seems to imply that John isn’t exactly doing magic as we know it, but something else. If it was Harrow narrating we could go further with it, but since it’s Gideon we could simply attribute it to her lack of knowledge and familiarity with magic. However, two sentences after that we don’t have that problem;

The construct gamely clamberign our of the Saint of Duty dwindled to a powder of pink dust. The shard you had been driving up the cervical vertebrae to the base of the spine [...] simply disappeared: destroyed or removed, you could not tell.

This is still Gideon narrating but in this case she’s specifically telling us that Harrow doesn’t understand what John just did, it’s not magic Harrow is familiar with. There’s also the contrast between what we know is a normal process of destroying a construct - reducing it to dust -  vs this mysterious disappearance, that doesn’t really fit into what we know so far about the way thanergy/thalergy work.

so far, nothing conclusive, we know John is really powerful, but we don’t know exactly how, where his power comes from or what it can do. Then there’s the moment he unexplodes himself (Chapter 52, HtN);

White light.

It bleached the insides of your nose and the back of your throat. It hurt coming out your ears. It bled out your eyeballs. It wasn’t a flash of light, more … a suddenness; when it was gone—as though it hadn’t even existed, but had been a luminous hallucination—time stopped.

That light took colour from the room—everyone was a slow-motion cavalcade of greys, of eyes caught widening, of mouths parting in stone-shaded articulations of shock.

It happened in an instant. It happened over a myriad. A wet red construct knitted itself back together, [...]

again that white light that has been associated with thalergy magic and again all these references to time slowing down, stopping or just behaving in strange ways in general. again lots of ambiguity, this could be a thalergy based power - the ability to hold living bodies in stasis, and therefore make everyone feel like time has slowed down - or it could be that John is actually affecting time, maybe even reversing it (?) since he literally un-exploded himself, after Mercy put all her millenia of expertise into atomizing him and reducing him to almost nothing.

is that even explicable with regular thanergy/thalergy based magic? i’m not sure, a regular necro could never do that, a lyctor couldn’t do that. So if John isn’t just an overpowered lyctor what’s the difference exactly? i mean, how do his powers manifest differently from those of every other necromancer we know?

the other person we’ve seen using powerful thalergy magic is Silas. Whenever he siphoned, Gideon describes a similar vacuum sensation to the one that John’s magic also provokes, as well as white light;

As he faded, the pale Silas incandesced. He glowed with an irradiated shimmer, iridescent white, and the air began to taste of thunder. (Chapter 17, GtN)

Gideon felt an internal tug, like a blanket being pulled off in the cold. (Chapter 17, GtN)

Silas clambered to his knees, clasped his fingers together, and the feeling of suction popped the pressure in both of Gideon’s ears. (Chapter 34, GtN)

Silas is nowhere near as powerful as John but siphoning - thalergy based magic, condemned by God - still causes that suction effect and is marked by white light and lightning, just like John’s magic. However, there’s no mention of a time altering effect, no slowing down, no freezing in place, and seeing how both kinds of magic are similarly coded otherwise i find this difference suspicious.

To end this somewhere, two quotes, first, this thing Harrow tells Ortus when they both discuss what it must be like to be a lyctor (Chapter 5, HtN);

“Nigenad, what would be the tragedy in living for a myriad? Ten thousand years to learn everything there is to know [...] What is the tragedy of time?”

honestly to me that sounds like Muir making Harrow say things she will regret later. of course it could be about any of the numerous tragedies in Harrow life but still, gave me pause, specially because it kinda echoes John’s earlier sentiment, wishing he had mastered Time.

finally, a quote that might be totally meaningless and completely off base in this theory or it could round it up perfectly, i haven’t decided yet;

[...] ; yet you prayed all the while knowing Ianthe’s facility for tergiversation would have given the whole universe pause. (Chapter 36, HtN)

we know Ianthe is a girlboss and gaslighting is her thing. However, isn’t this sentence a bit too dramatic to describe Ianthe? doesn’t it sound kinda ominous to you? it definitely does to me, and although it might totally be my Ianthe bias wanting her to play an important part, who is Ianthe hanging out with lately? exactly John God “Jod” the Emperor.

in conclusion, i haven’t reached any conclusion. but i still think there’s something off with John’s powers beyond what we’ve been told, which isn’t much really, and i think there’s something going on with Time within the narrative (that’s another whole post though), and i think these two things are most probably related. but i can’t say i’m 100% sure of any of it. this was fun though. if you made it here thank you so much you’re the best <3

[2manyfandoms2count]

A blog request from the @mlwritersguild ! Hope Anon sees it and likes it. It was a great prompt to write!

Warning: 75% of this hurts a lot, although nothing's graphic. I was feeling very angsty when I wrote it (and now I cry when I hear OneRepublic's Wherever I go). Happy ending, though!

---

Disappearing Act (AO3)

The magical ladybugs engulf Paris in their tornado and rubble falls back into place in puffs of dust, clearing the streets. Ladybug runs, tracing back her footsteps, until she finds what, or rather who, she is looking for, standing alone in the middle of the road, looking slightly disoriented.

“Chat Noir!” she yells as she picks her pace up to a sprint, hurling herself at the black-clad teenager in front of her.

Her voice has him turning towards her, and he barely has time to process the red and back bullet coming at him at full speed. His eyes widen and he manages to catch her in his arms without them both falling over. He feels her crying against his shoulder, and his arms instantly tighten around her.

“Shh, my Lady, it’s okay, I’m here,” he whispers soothingly as he strokes her hair.

Her head is buried against his chest, her body shakes with sobs, but her hands are balled into fists, striking his shoulders. Her punches are slow, void from the strength he knows she’s capable of, and he knows she doesn’t mean it.

He knows he’d deserve every one of them, though. His heart is still beating too fast from his jump to protect her earlier. He hadn’t even thought about it, his legs carrying him until the blast hit him straight in the chest. Everything had turned black.

Ladybug pulls away and looks up at him with tear- and anger-filled eyes, and he can’t help but think how beautiful she looks. He wipes a runaway tear from her cheek and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, smiling tenderly at her. Oh, the things he’d do for her.

“You have to stop doing that! I thought I’d lost you,” she says through gritted teeth.

He knows it’s to keep more tears at bay.

“I’m sorry, Bugaboo.” He means it. “I pawmise I won’t do it again.” He doesn’t.

A loud crash a couple of streets away and her earrings' insistent beeps bring back their focus to the matter at hand. The Akuma is still running around, and Ladybug’s first Miraculous cure may have brought Chat Noir back, but not so much time. Ladybug wipes her eyes, takes a shaky breath, and stands taller. She doesn’t make a move to leave, though.

“I’ll hold them off, you go restore. I’ll see you later?” He picks her hand up, winks, and his lips gently brush her knuckles (the gesture is imprinted in her brain, she’s replayed it so much), like everything is going to be okay. He runs off, turning around one last time before he turns a corner, to flash her a confident smile.

Everything isn’t okay, though. Later finds the Akuma defeated, the Miraculous cure cast again, yet Ladybug is collapsed on the floor, clutching a lone, silver ring, at the exact spot where Chat Noir had stood a mere moment before.

As she screams into the void, she barely registers the rain that starts pouring down in a thick curtain, mingling with her tears, and part of her wonders if they will ever cease from flowing.

---

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks.

Time passed so slowly, yet so fast. Chat Noir wasn’t the only one who didn’t come home on that fateful day. Or the next. Or the one after that.

There’s an empty space in class, right in front of Marinette, and although it could be a coincidence, she knows deep inside that it’s not.

Alya is supportive, and so is the rest of the class, but they don’t, can’t understand the extent of her despair. Nobody can, after all.

The other disappearing act is pulled by the one and only Hawkmoth. She’s surprised, yet relieved, yet furious not to see purple butterflies around anymore. Has the man suddenly grown some morals? Does he draw a line at murdering a teenager?

Because there’s no other word for it, and she knows he knows it, as she fiddles with the ring that now sits on a piece of yarn around her neck. It’s long enough that no one can see it, but she knows it’s there nonetheless, and the cold metal against her skin soothes her. As she holds it in her darkest hours, she can feel Chat Noir’s presence, and she knows his probable disapproval is the only thing keeping her from going on a rampage to find Hawkmoth and make him pay for his actions.

Instead, she does the thing her partner would approve of; she gets dressed in all black, and finds her way to the Agreste Mansion. Nathalie hugs her like she needs it just as much as Marinette does, and the teenager understands from the little she says that Gabriel finally realised how much his son meant to him. Marinette gives her a bitter smile at the news. If only it could bring him back.

A month goes by. Ladybug stops patrolling. It’s too painful to sit at the top of the Eiffel Tower, alone. To get flashbacks of all the battles they fought together anytime she lets her stare linger a little too long anywhere. To walk on rooftops knowing he’s not going to hop at her side at any minute. To feel her heart beat faster every time she sees a flash of black out of the corner of her eye. To feel the pain that invades her chest when she realises it was just a shadow.

More time passes. Mayor Bourgeois issues a communication out for her. A statue in honour of the fallen hero is to be unveiled at the Tuileries. He hopes she will be there, and possibly give a speech.

The day comes, and she hadn’t planned on speaking. She’d tried to imagine what she could say, but everything was too painful, and she couldn’t find the words, nothing felt worthy of him. Seeing so many people turn up, though, some she recognises, a majority she doesn’t, all united in their grief for one person, her person, makes her find her way to the microphone.

She sees the hope in their eyes. She opens her mouth. Closes it. Feels the sting of tears.

She turns around to regain her composure, and is faced with the statue. She hasn’t looked at it properly yet; she couldn’t bear to.

There is Chat Noir, standing in all his glory, wearing a confident grin and seemingly ready to jump into action. She wishes he would.

Behind him, Adrien sits cross-legged, a hopeful smile on his lips as he looks up towards the skies. She can almost hear him singing. She wishes she could.

Taking a shaky breath, she turns around to face the crowd.

“I don’t know where to start with Chat Noir. He infuriated me, so much. He was reckless, which got him in the end. But he was also a great partner. The absolute best. He was kind, caring, and so, so lucid. I… I loved him for it. He didn’t hesitate in the face of danger. A month, twenty three days and a couple of hours ago, he sacrificed himself. He did it for Paris. For us. May this statue be a reminder of him and what he stood for. Faith in Good. Selflessness. Justice.” She takes a deep breath before continuing. “I learned at the same time as you did that Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste. I’ve had time to think about it, and it makes sense that there weren’t two people as amazing as they were, that they were the same purr-son.” She tries to chuckle, but more tears spill out. She knows he’d like it, though. “He juggled his career, school, and a mask. Let him be an inspiration to us all; never back down from anything you’re passionate about, if it can make you happy. You might be afraid of launching yourself, but eventually you’ll just feel freer. That’s what being Chat Noir brought Adrien: freedom. And rest assured that I’ll still be there to make sure the freedom of this city remains. I’ll be there if Hawkmoth ressurfaces, or if Paris needs me in any other way. Even though it’s hard to imagine how I can go on without Chat Noir by my side, I know it’s what he would have wanted. And I know he’ll be with us in spirit, too.”

She chokes on her tears and has to yoyo herself out to avoid her tear-stained face to be on the front page of every magazine the next day, and to escape the question that’s on every reporter’s lips; will Chat Noir be replaced?

She doesn’t understand how people can even think about it.

---

Marinette waits until the dead of the night to make her way back to the statue. She brings flowers, this time. A red rose, which she tucks in Chat Noir’s hand. A peach rose bouquet for Adrien’s lap. Hyacinths and forget-me-nots, which she deposits between them both, amongst the multitude of flowers that cover the base of the statue.

Sorrow, regret, but also love, gratitude and memory. She wishes she could do more.

It’s late, she has school in the morning, but she can’t bring herself to leave. She walks around the statue a couple of times, tries to dislodge a black cat that has elected Adrien’s lap as his sleeping pad, before sitting on a park bench, facing them, facing him.

You promised you wouldn’t do it again. Her stare silently accuses him.

I know, my Lady. She knows him well enough to know exactly what he’d say.

You left me all alone.

I’m so sorry. She wishes the statue would come alive, and he’d come and hug her. It doesn’t, of course.

Whatever happened to you and me against the rest of the world?

There wouldn’t be any of that without you either, would there? She can almost see his sad smile.

Paris needs you.

They need Ladybug more. He’d counter.

I need you. A tear rolls silently down her cheek, just as many have before it. It hovers at the edge of her jaw before collapsing on her thigh. I can’t believe I never told you, I should’ve said it out loud every day, at every occasion. I love you Chaton, Adrien, the name doesn’t matter. And now you’re gone, and you’ll never know. More tears spill out. She brings her knees against her chest, wrapping her arms around them and buries her face in them.

“Hello, m’lady.” She looks up at the sound of the soothing voice. Her vision is blurry with tears, and she knows it’s just a trick of her imagination before she even sees that the scenery hasn’t changed, apart from the light breeze that picked up, taking a couple of fallen leaves in its stride, but she can’t help it. Whatever happens, however much it hurts, she’ll always look, always hope. She shakes her head, pressing her forehead against her knees, and takes a deep breath.

It’s getting late. She should probably get going. A sleepless mind (not that she gets a lot of rest anyway, but every minute counts) will only play further tricks on her, and she doesn’t need that.

“That was some speech you gave.”

Her head snaps up, and this time, she wipes her tears.

She might be sleep-deprived enough to hear the things she wants in the wind, but this is too real. She wasn’t expecting it, either.

The night is still. The cat has lazily lifted its head from its paws, and for a second she wonders if it spoke to her, but it’s not facing her, and this is real life. Cats don’t talk. Right?

She pinches herself. Maybe she fell asleep on the bench.

“You know how much I love it when you speak passionately.” There’s a tender smile in the voice now. She remembers it so vividly.

A figure steps out from the shadow of the statue, almost sheepishly. The teen doesn’t look at her directly, so she doesn’t recognise him at first. His dishevelled black hair, leather jacket and ripped jeans are unfamiliar.

Then his green eyes meet hers, and she’s home.

“Y-you,” she stammers, trying to stand up, but she feels her knees buckle under her.

He’s at her side immediately, catching her in her fall and helping her sit back down.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this,” he says while she touches his face, making sure that she isn’t dreaming, that he’s okay, that he’s alive.

She answers by hugging him like her life depends on it (and maybe it does), feeling her tears make a comeback. He rubs soothing circles on her back. It’s exactly what she needs, what she’s been craving for the past months. He’s here.

“Why?” she croaks against his chest. The question is cut short by a sob, but he understands all of its layers nonetheless.

Why did you leave? Why did you leave me? Why did you pretend to be dead? Why did you not let me know? What you were planning, then that you were okay? Why are you back?

“I… I overheard something. Not then, but during a previous Akuma attack. Hawkmoth asked his minion to spare me. Adrien Agreste. The Akuma was confused, and asked him to confirm. I couldn’t make sense of it at first, but the more I thought about it, the clearer it became that Hawkmoth had to be someone close to me, or to my father.” Marinette feels his body tense and holds him tighter. She’s not letting go of him anytime soon. “And then that day, when I saw what the rays did… I had to seize the opportunity. If I could just… disappear, lay low for a while, then maybe…” he trails off.

“Maybe you could get to the bottom of it.” Marinette sniffles. “I get it. But were you safe? It’s been months, Adrien. Where did you go?” She withdraws a little from his arms to look up at him with worry-filled eyes.

He seems taken aback by her questions. “You’re not going to ask me about what I found?”

“Adrien, I’ve just found out that the person I love most in the world, the person I thought I’d never see again but by looking at this damn statue,” she points towards it, but her eyes stay locked on his, angry tears gathering in her eyes, “is alive, I need to know you’re not about to collapse or disappear all over again. I couldn’t-” Her voice catches.

“I know.” He interrupts, cupping her cheek tenderly. “You’ve been so strong, my Lady. I promise you, I’m fine. I had some cash saved up, it paid for a small half-board hotel in the 20th Arrondissement, no questions asked, my makeover, and of course, my stalking.” His thumb stills on her cheekbone as he processes her words. “But wait, did you just say that you love me?”

A month ago, Marinette would have blushed and stammered in response. Today, her response is unwavering.

She grabs him by the collar of his jacket and their lips crash together. It occurs to Adrien that this is his first kiss with Marinette, Ladybug, he’ll hopefully remember. He makes sure to commit every last detail to memory.

It tastes like tears (hers, at first, and then, theirs - they’re all happy, though). Desperation. Disbelief. Thankfulness. Love. He hopes she feels it from him, too.

He takes it all in. Her chapped lips. The way she’s pulling him closer, clinging to him to keep him close, as if he’d ever run away from this. How soft her hair is under his fingers.

Nobody’s ever going to take it away from him.

When Marinette breaks off, leaving both of them panting, Adrien is awestruck. He knows it’s too soon to joke about being able to die happy, but the thought is there.

“So…” Marinette’s hands untangle from his hair to rest on his chest. “Now that my feelings for you are elucidated, and that I’ve established that you seem to be fine, how about you tell me if your disappearing act was at least worth it?” She sniffles a little.

“Marinette, I’ve just had the lights kissed out of me by the girl I love, and you expect me to be able to make a coherent sentence?” He nudges her nose with his.

“I just need to know you’re not going to disappear on me again,” she whispers.

“I purr-omise, my Lady,” he replies earnestly. “Never going to run around and desert you ever again. Not if I can help it.”

“Shut up.” She lets out a small giggle, her first in ages, and punches his shoulder lightly. A pun and a questionable reference. Her kitty’s back alright. “As if that wasn’t a coherent sentence.”

“Maybe the sentence was, but you’ll have to admit the thought wasn’t.” His smile vanishes as he looks around them. “Seriously, though. I���m not sure we should talk about it here.”

“Fine.” She gives him a small smile, and kisses his nose. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready, and we’ll deal with it.”

“You and me against the world.” He smiles.

“Forever.”

She buries herself in his arms once more, and they stay on the park bench until their heads start drooping. Even as they leave, she can’t bring herself to let go of his hand, and it doesn't take a lot of convincing for him to go home with her.

There’s no way she’s letting him out of her sight again. Not if she can help it.

[the-bejeesus]

To Those Who Say “I’m not gonna catch up on One Piece until it’s finished. Why would I watch/read 1000+ episodes/chapters when I don’t even get to know how the story ends?”

      Now for the past few years, when I came across somebody who said this, my rebute would be something like “Well the series is great already. It doesn’t really matter if I don’t know how it ends, because the journey itself is enjoyable.” or “Man if that’s your excuse, who you gonna explain why you read/watch stuff like Berserk, Hunter X Hunter, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and My Hero Academia? Newsflash, they aren’t done yet.” But it came across my mind that I can now apply a completely different approach:

“If you start watching/reading at this pace right now, it will be over by the time you catch up.”

      If you’re a fan of the series, you’ll know that for awhile now Oda has been saying that he plans to end the series in just 5-4 years. Now he’s made lots of claims in the past that turned out to be ridiculous. However, many One Piece researchers have compiled his claims and found out that they only get more accurate as time goes on, with the most ridiculous claims being found to be myths. And with the most recent claims of ending the series in less than 5 years, even his editors who are usually skeptical have started to trust that he can do this. After all, he has officially set there to be only one more saga (which isn’t necessarily one arc, but it’s either going to be 1-2 major arcs or an anthology of 5-6 shorter arcs). And now that we can trust this claim, we can essentially extrapolate how many chapters/episodes are left and what pace we have to binge to catch up at just the right time.

If you plan to read the manga (black and white):

The manga in black in white is a perfectly fine way to enjoy One Piece. It’s what Oda draws, it’s how he intends it to be viewed, and best of all, it will be the first version of publication to finish.

     Out of the 1223 weeks since the first chapter published in July 19, 1997, 1000 chapters have published, meaning on average he publishes 42 chapters per year, or in other words, there are only 10 hiatuses per year (including holidays where WSJ does not publish). Now if I wanted to be more accurate, I’d only look at the chapters published this year, to exclude outliers like how he had no hiatuses for the first 200 chapters, or how he had a 4-week hiatus during the timeskip, but 2020 has been a bit crazy, so we’re not doing that for this or any of the others.

     Going off of this, the final chapter would be chapter 1212 in December 28, 2025 (yes, the 28th would be a Sunday again.) So here’s how you’d calculate the pace in which you need to read One Piece, and really this is how we’ll calculate it for every version)

     Now I know math is boring, but the reason I’m showing this to you is because the amount of weeks until One Piece ends will vary based on when you start this binge. Chances are you aren’t going to start the day you see this post, and there’s an even greater chance you won’t see this post the day it’s posted. For every example I’m going to assume you started binging on December 28, 2020. Now let’s try to use it for this example.

     And there’s your answer, just read 4-5 chapters per week. By the end, One Piece should be nearly over or have very recently ended. To put that into a different perspective, you could purchase and read just two volumes per month and you’ll be at prime pace. Or you could read one chapter every day, but only on weekdays.  If you want to, you can see this calculation in action in graph form.

     While this is a very rudimentary graph, it’s a basic visualization of what we’re calculating here. We’re calculating what speed we need to binge to catch up at exactly the right moment. I say exact, but ultimately no one can predict how many chapters there will be exactly, nor how many hiatuses Oda will go on during it. It will be important, as you’re nearing the end, to find a spoiler-free way to keep up on how close One Piece is to ending. To know whether you ought to speed up or slow down.

If you plan to watch the anime (subtitled):

For years now people have hated on the anime “terrible animation!” “terrible pacing” but at the end of the day, it’s the more popular version. Or the more viewed version I should say. And personally, I think that once you acknowledge its problems and learn how to deal with them, it’s a perfectly fine experience. There’s enough good voice acting and enough good storytelling that you’re easily able to ignore the problems. Plus, the animation has substantially improved since Wano.

      Now for this we’re going to have to change a lot of variables to get this right. We’re going to have to adjust when publication started, and recalculate when One Piece will end by looking at how slowly the anime adapts the manga, and how behind it is. The anime aired on October 20, 1999, and has aired 956 episodes since then. This means on average they air 44.9 episodes per year, meaning there is pretty much only 7 breaks the entire year. With these 956 episodes, they have adapted 955 chapters, making the pace almost exactly one chapter per episode. However this is really inaccurate, considering all the better-paced arcs earlier on in the story. Looking solely at episodes 2012 and onwards, the anime adapts at a pace of 0.65 chapters/episode.

     Knowing that there are roughly 212 chapters left, and Toei adapts at 0.65 chapters per episode, we can assume that there are going to be roughly 324 episodes left. That sounds like too many, but keep in mind that there will be several, several instances where the manga will be on hiatus whereas the anime will keep on airing. Knowing there are approximately 324 episodes left, and that the anime only takes about 7 breaks a year, we can assume that it will take 7 years, or 374.49 weeks before the anime will end. So now we have the information we need to do the math again.

x = 1280/374.49

x = 3.417 episodes/week.

     It may seem like a more relaxed binge, since you get a whole 2 extra years to binge, and you only have to do 3-4 episodes per week, compared to the 4-5 chapters. But keep in mind that these episodes are 24 minutes each. Still not at all bad, but you will be spending more time on it overall.

If you plan to watch One Pace:

One Pace is a fan project that edits the anime so that filler and padding is cut, other edits will be made to make the anime more manga-accurate, such as reorganizing scenes, or adding title cards where absent. Originally only used by a niche number of One Piece fans, One Pace has grown in popularity, and has tried to improve its quality to accommodate more fans, such as making their episodes Dual Audio (meaning you can switch between the dub and original Japanese audio tracks), and including Spanish subtitles.

      You’d think we’d have to adjust for when One Pace began, how slowly One Pace catches up, and the works, but there’s not much to calculate. Fortunately for us, no matter how far behind One Pace is on editing the current arc, they always like to wrap things up just a few weeks within when an arc ended, if not the very same week. So really all we have to calculate is how many One Pace episodes there will be by the end of all this, so that we know how many you’ll need to watch per week.

      Looking solely at what they’ve covered so far, One Pace has taken 573 episodes and condensed it down to 259 episodes. That’s a pace of 2.21 anime episodes/ paced episode. Earlier we calculated that there would be 324 episodes of the anime left, making for 1280 episodes total. This would mean that there would be around 578 One Pace episodes by the end. And One Pace would probably wrap up in, let’s say 376 weeks, because as I said, they’ll probably finish editing the final arc a week or two after the last episode airs.

x = 578/376

x = 1.53 episodes per week

      Now that’s a relaxed pace. 1-2 episodes per week? That’s so slow, I’m not even sure if I’ll remember what I watched last week next time I watch some episodes. The only problem is some of the pre-timeskip still haven’t been edited. They’ll probably be done by the time they finish the final arc, but that’s not gonna work out fast enough. You’ll hit your first roadblock about 7 weeks in when you need to watch the Baratie arc and it’s not done. And don’t even get me started on how many arcs aren’t done in dub or Spanish sub yet. Hopefully you could just switch to the anime or manga when you hit these arcs, readjusting how many episodes/chapters you need to watch/read when you do. But that’s a bit of an excessive amount of math for something that’s supposed to be fun. So yeah, if you’re still convinced you shouldn’t get into One Piece until it’s ended, maybe this is the option for you.

If you plan to read the manga (Colored):

Since 2012, Shueisha has made a colorization of One Piece. It’s not a fan coloring, it’s as official as it gets. Many consider the color schemes portrayed in this version as the most canon, as the majority are pulled straight from whatever colored illustrations of Oda’s they can find. And quite frankly it makes the manga at least 10 times more beautiful. It’s especially great if you have trouble interpreting dense, small black and white panels.

      This one is a doozy. You’d think all I gotta do is calculate how far behind the colored manga usually and just adjust from there, right? Wrong. Because how far behind the colored manga is, or how frequently they release volumes in full color, is one of the most inconsistent things I have ever seen. You wanna see what I’m talking about? This is how they’ve chosen to release each volume since 2012:

Volume 1-12: July 15, 2012

Volume 13-23: September 28, 2012

Volume 24-63: December 4, 2012

Volume 64-65: April 4, 2013

Volume 66-68: December 20, 2013

Volume 69-70: August 25, 2014

Volume 71-72: September 16, 2015

Volume 73-75: October 4, 2016

Volume 76: December 2, 2016

Volume 77: March 3, 2017

Volume 78: July 2, 2017

Volume 79: September 4, 2017

Volume 80: December 4, 2017

Volume 81-82: March 3, 2018

Volume 83: October 4, 2018

Volume 84-86: August 2, 2019

Volume 87-92: September 16, 2020

     How I am supposed to find out how long it will take for Shueisha to colorize the final volume of One Piece is beyond me. I guess the first step would be to look at how far behind the manga each release was on average, but I’m going to ignore all the ones before 2013, because those were clearly just Shueisha catching up really fast cause they just started and didn’t want to be dozens of volumes behind forever. So of the 14 publications between 2013 and now, on average the last chapter of the last volume they colored was 97.78 weeks after that chapter had published in Weekly Shonen Jump. This means that if the final chapter of One Piece is chapter 1212 on December 28, 2025, then you can expect the final colored volume to publish November 14, 2027.

x = 1212/359

x = 3.37 chapters/week

     So if you prefer the manga but don’t want to read 5 chapters every week for 5 years, this might be a better option for ya. But yea, I have no doubt my prediction is at least a little off for this one.

If you plan to watch the anime (dubbed):

Unlike the 4KidsTV and Odex dubs of One Piece, the FUNimation dub is a perfect way to enjoy One Piece. The DVDs come with enjoyable commentary and a marathon mode, great for binging.

       FUNimation’s releases of the dub are inconsistent, although not nearly as erratic as the colored manga release. However, there was recently a 2-year hiatus we only just got out of. Since Episode 1′s dub in May 27, 2008, the dub has gotten as far as Episode 614. But that’s only looking at the DVD releases. If you’re willing to stream on FUNimationnow, the dub is as far as 641, and if you’re willing to digitally purchase it from an e-shop such as the Microsoft store, it goes all the way to Episode 654. With that being said, that would mean that on average, FUNimation dubs 1.004 episodes per week. Although if we go back to before the two-year hiatus so as to exclude it from the average, it’s actually 1.10 episodes per week. Not a huge difference, actually. And then if we look solely after the two-year hiatus, it’s actually 2.25 episodes per week, which is insanely faster. It’s hard to tell what the future of the dub will be. I can’t assume they’ll go this fast forever, so I’m just going to take the average of all 3 and say it’s 1.45 episodes per week. Don’t know if that’s the best mathematical approach, but the number seems about right.

     So knowing that the dub is at Episode 654 and looking at our previous guesstimation that the anime will be 1280 episodes long, we can predict that it will take 431 weeks before the dub catches up and ends. That would be in 2029! Sounds quick at first until you notice it’s 4 years behind!

x = 1280/431

x = 2.96 episodes per week

      Looks like it’s almost exactly 3 episodes per week. Not as much less of a workload as I expected, compared to catching up to the sub. You know, I figured those 4 extra years would make you binge a lot slower.

Final Thoughts:

      There’s a lot of my math that was estimation, approximations, extrapolations. Feel free to correct me or fact check me, especially if you plan on using this. I figured this would be a fun thought excercise. There’s also a lot of smaller variables I simply didn’t want to take into account because of how long this is already. For example, reading the black and white manga. The calculation can vary slightly depending on if you read it the day it’s published (which I assume would have to be a fanscan unless you can read Japanese), reading the weekly publication legally on Viz.com, waiting for the physical volume release. The dub can also vary depending on whether you buy from Microsoft, wait for the FUNimationnow release, wait for the DVDs, or wait for the Collection sets. So feel free to take this into account.

[lycanthrology]

things I’d change in this book. god im only 3/5 of the book in and yet and yet..

LONG!!!!

- Show Amari and Binta’s relationship firsthand

The first time we see Binta is when she gets executed then afterwards Amari can’t stop talking about their friendship and time together so why didn’t we start a few days before the execution to get to know Binta personally. She’s a major part of Amari’s arc and I had no attachment to her whatsoever because we’re never shown anything physically. We get told she’s her best friend with no evidence. And when she dies, imo Amari does not react in a way that signifies that she cared loads for her. Like she grabs onto the wall and forces herself not to cry but like when she’s alone I don’t remember her breaking down or lashing out she just carries on regardless then quotes the death as her motive in her internal monologue every other page.

- Give each POV character a distinctive voice

There are 3 POV characters (Zelie, Amani, and Iman) and they are impossible to tell apart from each other. Like Zelie and Amani are together so they’re perspectives are nearly identical which shouldn’t be the case! They’re completely different people with different upbringings and outlooks on the world so their thoughts and reactions should be very different to each other. Amani is a human noble runaway who’s never left a palace learning about the world outside and magic for the first time and Zelie is a fairly streetwise Maji who’s had to deal with oppression her entire life testing her newly discovered magic. They should have entirely different personalities that shine through in the narration but it just.. doesn’t. They sound like the exact same person. Iman is only discernible because his storyline is different (he’s following and trying to kill them) but again he sounds the same.

- Make things harder and raise the stakes.

There’s three items they need to save magic and they start the story with one already. The second one is given to them when they get to a mountain and the third they win in a watery arena fight thing. They get them all before page 300/500 and don’t start collecting until about 75 so it’s incredibly fast paced. We don’t get to know the characters as people (we learn about Zelie and her role in the village but then she’s taken out of the village and we still don’t know what she’s like as a person and it feels like the village stuff was unnecessary because she’s totally different now for no reason) so tbh i don’t really care if any of them die because I’m not invested in their lives and how a death would affect them!

- Show not tell etc etc

All it does it tell us everything like spoonfeeding the audience. I know this is YA but readers aren’t stupid and you don’t need to hold their hand. There are no saids everything is a fancy over the top dialogue tag to the point where nothing means anything. Okay so she yelled? Big deal! She yells on every single page whats so special this time. And so many feelings get explained rather than described. It won’t be overt like ‘She was sad’ but like ‘Her eyes clouded with sadness’ drop the ‘with sadness’ you’re doing too much work and it’s losing it’s emotional impact. Don’t tell us what they’re feeling show it. It’s so much better that way.

- Characters do not react!! And when they do it’s at the wrong things

This one particular scene was the point where I realised the book was not going to work for me (but I paid £6 for it and I’m getting my money’s worth lmao).

I’ll set the scene: Zelie has rescued Amani from Inan and is being chased by him. They go back to her home village with a scroll that when touched by a Maji will unlock their powers. Zelie gives the scroll to this village wise woman archetype and it unlocks her magic. Magic is illegal and has been dormant for a decade so magic is a big big deal. She’s not really shocked or scared by seeing magic but is like ohh i knew it!! Meanwhile the king’s men and Inan have caught up to them and is setting the village on fire and killing villagers. Zelie and Amani know this and do not rush or seem to have any time restrictions. The old woman goes magic mode and sees the mountain they must travel to to get the next artefact. They leave the village and go to the mountain.

Major points in that scene and reaction:

Big reveal that old wise woman is actually magic (we guessed this was true because you are a wise woman nobody is shocked or surprised)

The village is burning down (it’s mentioned once but only elaborated on in Inan’s POV because he’s physically doing it)

They need to go to this secret temple that is only a legend (well you’ve seen it in the vision so it must be real let’s get going!)

There are innocent villagers dying because Inan wants to find and kill Zelie (let’s listen to the old lady monologue completely remorse free)

You see what I mean!! This is a highly stressful and intense situation (if id written this it would be a major if not THE major scene in the opening 100 pages but there are at least 2 others just like it so much happens and nothing is lingered on the pacing is so wack!!!) and they act so casual so to the audience it means nothing! Then in Inan’s POV they force us to feel things by murdering innocent children and it’s like this is lazy you’re pulling lazy shortcuts here.

- The water arena

RIGHT we get told at the beginning there are Maji that can control water and our characters are put on a fight to the death fortnite battle royale on these big boats in a water arena and NOT ONCE is there a water Maji!!!!! If I was the author either a) one of the enslaved Maji on the boat had water powers that get awakened and help them (they can either join the team or die and get referenced every other page like Binta) or b) the fucked up commentator dude who they spend way too long getting angry at should’ve been a secret water Maji who was manipulating the water so no one would win and he’d get to keep the prize money and sunstone and keep the games going and keep making money from it. Chekhov's water magic.

Also I saw someone say they ripped the story off of Avatar the last airbender and I’ve never watched avatar BUT there was a fire event (village burning), earth event (up the mountain), water event (water arena) and an evil guy working under a king that decides he’s wrong and tries to join the team which I know are things in avatar right? idk

[silentsockfeet]

tlou2 photomode tips

disclaimer: these are just my go-to tricks that i like to use, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll work for everyone! each person has their own taste and style that they have to develop and these are just what i’ve found work best for me

just going through section by section which settings I use. but i just want to note that a lot of the things i keep in mind when taking photos are what i’ve learned through real life photography and through my film major, where i was taught things like composition, lighting, etc. i have general tips i can give about that as well but for now i just thought i’d keep it to the actual settings i use, partly bc this post is already long as fuck

camera

for portraits, set camera roll to 90 (or -90, it’s the exact same just in different directions)

for all my portraits i’ll usually have field of view set all the way to zero and camera zoomed in as far as it’ll go, tho obviously this changes depending on what you want

depth of field

depth of field is one of the most important tools for drawing the eye and keeping your photos less muddled. you can keep your subject in focus while blurring everything else, so your viewer knows exactly what they’re supposed to be looking at

for nearly all my photos i keep DOF intensity at about 70

DOF is also good for creating a mood. for example, if i want really soft, cosy type photos i’ll have really intense DOF (about 80). if i want crisp action photos i’ll have less intense DOF (50-60)

lately i've been doing some experimenting and setting DOF at 100 to try and get some cool effects but again, this all comes down to personal taste. do your own experimenting and find what you like!

display

brightness changes from photo to photo. i started a system where i’ll find a 10-point range where the brightness looks good (ie. 35-45) and then take a photo at every 5 points (so three photos at 35, 40, 45)

again, these numbers aren’t set, i find whatever range looks best for the photo and then choose the best looking one after uploading to my computer

sharpness i usually don’t tamper with

i only use saturation alongside a 50% noir filter, which i’ve explained more below

screen effects

chromatic aberration is usually always the original settings. every now and then i'll amp it up if i think it looks cool but i've very rarely done this. again, all comes down to personal taste

film grain is pretty much always set to zero unless i want to use it for stylistic effect, which is rare

filters

what i do fairly often to get the dark backgrounds i like is to set filter to noir but change intensity to 50. then i’ll go to the display tab and change saturation to 30, sometimes 35 (the numbers aren’t always these tho, you have to eyeball it to find where the skin tones look normal)

this keeps the edges dark but still makes characters look as colorful as normal

noir is probably the filter i use most often, but every now and then i’ll use vintage, blorange, or none. 

this is really where you can take my advice with a grain of salt because filters are very much a personal taste option, so find what you like!

vignette

for most of my photos, i have vignette ON but size and intensity are both set to 0. i find it helps even out the photo, so that background isn’t too bright while characters are too dark

if i want a particularly dark background, i’ll sometimes set both to 50. very rarely, if i want a darker background but all 0 is too light and all 50 is too dark, i’ll set size to 75 and intensity to 25.

but again, for nearly all of my photos they’re both set to 0

misc.

to summarize, my most common settings: camera roll 90, DOF intensity 70, multiple shots at different brightness settings, film grain 0, noir 50% with saturation bumped slightly, vignette ON but both settings at 0

your flashlight is your best source of lighting! it’s the only source you can actually control, so it’s especially helpful when photographing NPCs. shine your flashlight in their face and harass them!! i use the very edge of the light bc the center is often too bright and leaves a weird ring of light on their face

sometimes using the NPC’s flashlight as a source of light for your main character is also helpful, but it’s definitely harder, since obviously you can’t control them. just something to keep in mind

besides the flashlight, other in game objects can help to make cool effects as well. in this set i posted recently i used smoke bombs to make a more solid backdrop. they also help to emphasize light rays so i want to experiment with it more lol 

most important thing to note is that i take a SHIT TON of photos. i’m guessing for every one i post there’s ten i don’t. the reason for this is, the graphics on your tv are gonna be set to different formats than your computer or phone, so your photos won’t look the same on each device. i always choose photos based on how good they look on my phone, because i figure that’s what most people will see them on. so if you’re like me and you don’t have / can’t afford good photo editing software, the best way to account for what looks best is to take a bunch of the same photo but on different settings and then compare on a separate device

i pretty much don’t make any edits outside of photomode save for cropping photos, but even then i've been trying to do that less. very rarely i'll make some brightness adjustments if they turn out too dark on my computer, but i try to avoid that as much as possible

i seriously can’t stress this enough, but just have patience and keep trying! the worst thing i always do is get all in my head about which posts were successful and whether or not people like my photos, but honestly? just ignore it and photograph what YOU like. art is an inherently selfish hobby. don’t let anything discourage you, just post what you like and keep trying to improve!

i tried to keep this limited to my general settings, but again, it changes with every shot. if y’all want to ask more specific questions about specific shots or whatever please feel free! or if you just want to ask general questions that's cool too! i'm always happy to help :)

[acidproofnotebook]

OPM Chapter 84, Update 125

As first published online

Translator: u/Mynthence

Title Page: In order to remain solitary, instead of in solitude.

Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5

Movements that are a perfect blend of attack and defense.

Even though it’s the same Water Stream Rock Smashing Fist the difference in degrees of completion are plainly evident.

The result is obvious.

Page 6

Fuu!!

Page 7 Page 8 Page 9

grab

Bwoh!?

Page 10

Ubuh!!

Page 11

Wh…what’s…with…

This flashy assault, it’s not like the damn geezer at all…

Page 12

N…not good…

My consciousness is fad…

No….I’m gonna die…

…….tsk!!!

Gwah!

Page 13

What’s with those weird movements

where did you learn them?

Like a beast

Not yet!

Page 14

If I can use the heroes that are unconscious as hostages, there’s still a chance!!

I won’t let you

Ugah

Page 15 Page 16

Bang!

I’ve taken care of all the monsters that came out of the hole

All that’s left is Garou

Page 17

There’s still some monster-like reactions but

Beep beep…

For some reason I can’t ascertain the exact number and location…

Will going through that hole take us to the Monster Association’s base?

The guys from the Monster Association…were they wiped out?

They’re useless…!!!

Page 18

I thought we brought enough forces to capture Garou alive but…

Demon Cyborg…to think that he would be this strong

Silver Fang is here too. With this there’s no chance to take him away…

But if I go back empty-handed after expending all these troops, I might be the next one to be eaten by Orochi…

Page 19

Garou will just have to break through this situation with his own power…

…but it’s hopeless…

Should I start thinking about how to live after leaving the Monster Association…?

Hey brother…if it was you…

Would you still be able to stand up with his level of injuries?

…if I was 60 years younger I could try

…probably

Alright! Just a little bit more!!!

Let’s finish this before the other heroes show up, Bang!

Indeed

Page 20

Gugi…

My arms aren’t working properly anymore…

That geezer Bang, going after his former number one disciple when he’s been weakened…how vicious is he?

Page 21

Not to mention that the geezer that’s beating me up with him is Bomb, the master of the Whirlwind Iron Cutting Fist

For the leaders of the martial arts world to come at me two-on-one, do they have no shame or care for their reputations?

Even if I pretend to beg for my life to these guys, I’m sure the Demon Cyborg won’t let me go

In other words, in order to overcome this extremely critical situation, I need to kill all three of them

Page 22

That’s impossible.

Know the pain of my “number one disciple” Charanko

Garou!!

Page 23

Let’s play Hero!

Garou. You’ll play too, right?

Let’s play, let’s play.

Eh

Okay

Page 24

Introductory music

Justice Man has arrived!

Justice Man Kick

Ouch!

Hey

Page 25

That’s dangerous

What?

I feel bad for him

………………

Then you should play the part of the Monster

Justice Man Cross Chop

Woah

Why did you dodge

S, sorry Tacchan

I scratched up my hand

You’re the Monster. Why can’t you read the mood?

Hold Garou down

Okay

Page 26

Justice Man Kick!

I’ve defeated the Monster, Garou Poop Man~

What’s this, is it the thing they call a flashback?

This is a fairly private memory I’d prefer to not remember

This should be…Right…Tacchan…the popular kid in my class…

Page 27

Eh? What? Why are the boys fighting?

Did anyone call the teacher?

Garou’s going wild

Garou got mad, even though we were just playing

I can’t…stand it anymore…

What’s with him?

Tacchan

Fight me!

Huh? What are you saying?

It’s just Hero

Page 28 I don’t want to be the Monster anymore! It’s not fun! Fight me, and if I win, you have to promise that you won’t bother me anymore!

Sabuchin, Yochan, hold Garou down

That’s not fair…stop…let me go! I…

Ugh

Damnit!!

Woah, he’s snapped! Call the teacher

Tacchan, run away

Hold him down! Hold him down!

What’s going on?

Perfect timing. You guys help out too.

He got carried away because Taachan’s too nice

Gross

I heard Garou got pissed off at Taachan while they were playing Hero. (lol)

Seriously? What’s he thinking?

Poor Taachan

Page 29

Taachan would easily get carried away

Taachan was good at sports

Taachan liked bullying weak people

Taachan was popular with the girls

Taachan was a disgusting guy

Taachan was popular

I was the gloomy guy who was always alone

I didn’t have any friends

I hated popular people

Why did you go wild?

Teacher, Taachan always

I heard you got mad while playing Hero. Is that true?

They always make me be the Monster

You can’t even tell the difference between make-believe and reality!?

That’s not it. Everyone says it’s my fault because Taachan is popular…

You’re the one who went crazy! How will you take responsibility if the windows get broken!

NO!

Page 30

It’s not that I hate being the Monster.

Is it that I didn’t like Taachan being the Hero?

No that’s not it

I was sensing a crushing sense of unfairness through the Hero game. A game designed in a way that would let the popular kid who was loved by everyone to one-sidedly beat up the weak kid that no one liked.

You did something bad, so go apologize.

I’m calling your parents too

This wasn’t just bullying. The game that faithfully reproduced the children’s TV shows was accepted by the public. You’re free to play any role that you want in this game, but the role of the Hero requires the approval of all those who are playing, so naturally I never had a chance to play that part. And of course, a scenario where the Monster wins doesn’t exist to begin with, so I have to always lose.

Page 31

What’s Justice! What’s Evil! In the end, I get killed because of the majority! I can’t accept that! It’s unfair!

I can’t explain the reason very well but I’m angry!

I just want to let them know!

I want them to experience a weakling’s attack!

I want to deny the positions of good and evil!

Page 32

He’s going to fall

This is the end

Page 33

Like I’d let myself be finished off in a place like this!

Page 34 Page 35

What?

Page 36

Oh!

Page 37 Page 38

What’s with that power…

from that broken body!?

Page 39

Give it up Garou!

If you keep on going… You’ll really die!!!

Bang, above you!

Page 40 Page 41

Woah!?

Page 42

A monster!?

So there were still some left!!!

Page 43

!

Genos!

Bang, you saw his appearance just now!

He’s a monster now! He even has companions!

It’s okay if I shoot Garou down with him, right?

Page 44

Did you hear that!!?

I’ll take Garou away from here

You can crush everyone on the ground right now!

I leave the rest to you!!

???

Page 45

Rasen Shoukyaku Hou (Spiral Incineration Cannon)

Page 46

Elder Centipede!

Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50

What was that!?

Page 51 Page 52

Disaster Level: Dragon Giant Mysterious Insect Elder Centipede

Page 53

W…what….

Is this a living being !!?

Oh no!!!

We need to protect them!

Page 54

Here we go

Page 55 Page 56

So this is the source of the reaction from before…

It’s not that I couldn’t pinpoint its location…it was too big!

Page 57

To think that it could take a direct hit from the cannon and have no injuries

This is going to be a tough opponent…

That centipede is…

Page 58

What do you think you’re doing, butting in like that!

Just let Elder Centipede take care of things here

He is a great calamity that swallows up everything

I’m fascinated by that unstoppable destructive power

You’re not thorough enough Hero Hunter

Once you defeat an opponent, you need to make sure you finish them off

It seems that all those heroes lying down over there are still alive

Page 59

Well…don’t worry

Elder Centipede will end everything

!

Stop interfering!

Let me down right now!

Those are my prey!

Hey, quit struggling

Damnit! Go back!

I won’t forgive you!

Hahaha…why are you so mad.

It’s your fault for not finishing the job.

Also…it’s convenient that we can erase two S-class here.

For the Monster Association, S-class heroes are the biggest threat

Page 60

You also directly experienced it

…..

In any fight there’s something called compatibility

According to our adviser Gyoro Gyoro

Out of all the heroes there are only four who can stand up against the Elder Centipede

Page 61

The peerless one wielding the strongest psychic ability “Tornado of Terror”

The one whose hidden military strength can’t be grasped by even the Hero Association “Metal Knight”

Page 62

The strongest man on earth “King”

And…the top hero that pushed Elder Centipede to the brink of death two years ago

“Blast”

Page 63

They say that Elder Centipede decided to cooperate with the Monster Association in order to get its revenge on Blast

It’s eager to pull Blast, who doesn’t come to the forefront, back onto the battlefield.

But…Unfortunately, those two don’t have the ability to break through this current situation.

Silver Fang is without equal in regards to his strength in hand-to-hand combat, but that only applies to opponents that are of a size that can be affected by martial arts.

Demon Cyborg’s abilities are outstanding but

He shouldn’t be equipped with any weapons that can take on a giant insect beast

And his firepower can’t go beyond the capabilities of his weapons

That’s his limit

Page 64

They will definitely be destroyed

Here it comes!!!

Page 65 Page 66

shine

!

Page 67

Whirl Wind

Water Stream

Page 68

Todoroki Kuuretsu Ken (Roaring Sky Splitting Fist)

Page 69 Page 70 Page 71 Page 72

What is that move

We have a special move that takes advantage of the opponent’s openings

We’re counting on you to distract it

It broken that super hard shell into pieces…!?

This is

The pinnacle of skill

Page 73

Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet

Page 74 Page 75

Oh….

Goaaaahhhh

!

Guh

Page 76

Oww…

We let down our guard

But it was effective

The shockwave is circulating throughout its body

Blow up into pieces you monster

It’s a super move that can only be pulled off once by geezers like us

I’m glad it hit

Thank you Genos

Page 77

It’s finished

Page 78

Hm?

Page 79

Seriously?

Page 80

This guy molted…!!!

And didn’t it get bigger than before!?

No way!

Page 81

We can’t beat this thing…!

If we have to protect the unconscious heroes at the same time…

What should we do!? Bang!

Even if we back off, it would probably come after us and…

It’s all residential areas outside of Forest Park…

If we leave, it’ll affect the civilians…

Page 82

Bang

I’ll fight it

I’ll hold off that centipede as long as I can so

Take the injured and escape

Page 83

Genos

Are you saying that you’ll fight that thing on your own?

I can’t agree with that…

You don’t need to push yourself. You know that you can’t win

You young ones have still have a future

Genos

Just don’t overdo it

Page 84

Is that…

Really okay?

Page 85

There’s no way

Page 86

That’s okay

Page 87 Page 88 Page 89

There’s no way!

Cannons don’t work on it!

Page 90

This guy

And the guy from yesterday

Page 91

And Garou

Are all part of the Monster Association

This fight

Is unavoidable

Page 92 Page 93 Page 94

Dual Blade Rush

That’s what it means to fight against them

Page 95

I’m participating in this fight

Grind into pieces

Page 96

If you say that’s being reckless

Crack

!

Uh…

Page 97

Genos!!!

At this rate

I…

Page 98

Won’t be able to stay in the fight

Page 99 Page 100

Jet Drive Arrow

Page 101

Uooohhhh!!!

Page 102 Page 103

Ugoah

He went into its mouth

Oh no…

Page 104

!

Digestive juices

I’ll completely melt you in a few seconds

You’re the one that’s going to melt

Page 105

Chou Rasen Shoukyaku Hou (Super Spiral Incineration Cannon)

Page 106 Page 107

…….!!!

He did it!!

Clank

…..

Page 108

Crack crack

Crack crack

Page 109

Crack crack

Crack

grin

Again…

I…

Can’t win…

Can’t protect…

Page 110

We’re getting out of here

sizzle

Brother! Grab those guys and run!!

It’s useless

What’s wrong?

Are you disgusted that you ended up being partially responsible for slaughtering those heroes?

Page 111

That’s not it!

I’m just disappointed by this ending!!!

I…want to defeat them with my own power!

By doing so, I become the symbol of fear…!!

That’s the meaning behind the hero hunting!!!

The symbol of fear? You? Hahaha…

If you were to go back now, you would only end up getting stomped on together with the heroes.

Right now you don’t have the strength to go against Elder Centipede or the officers of the Monster Association.

Page 112

Guh…

Just…you wait…and see…

What should I do…

Page 113

What is it that I lack…!?

Are there still more guys like that?

In front of guys like that…

Am I only able to suck on my thumb while watching them…?

Bang! This isn’t good. If we keep going

We’ll exit the Forest Park!

Page 114

Also…I can’t run for very long while carrying this many people

How old do you think I am

Do or die…

Brother

Page 115

I’m going to go all out for the last time in my life

Page 116

Elder Centipede~!!!

Hey! You pest!!!!!

I’ve brought the “Blast” that you’ve been looking for!!!!!

Page 117

!?

That voice is…King!!?

Blast!?

What…!

!!!?

Look!!

Its movements have stopped

And it’s turned around

Page 118

Blast…?

Yes…that’s right! The opponent that beat you up and made you run away while peeing your pants….the hero Blast!!

If you want to fight against Blast again, come over here!

What’s wrong? Are you so scared that you can’t move!? You’re spineless!!! Hey, if you’re going to shit yourself, do it at home!

A weak little bug like you should go back underground and suck on your mom’s tits!!!

Page 119

King made it to the location in City S where Elder Centipede reappeared!!!

That’s good! King should be able to do something about this situation…

Yes…there are still several heroes in that area

And when I told him that they might become casualties from any fighting nearby

He told me “Give me any information that might provoke Elder Centipede”

He undoubtedly plans on luring the enemy to where he is and fighting it one-on-one

Page 120

When Blast severely wounded it, it escaped and ran away underground

I hope we can defeat it this time…

It was top secret information, but I relayed the information detailing the monster and Blast’s connection to him

Also, I told him that if the battle were to be prolonged or if they were to change locations, the damage to the surrounding areas would be tremendous

And what how did he respond?

Just one word: “Understood”…

Together with the reverberations of the King Engine

Page 121

Draw the enemy this way so there aren’t any more casualties…

If the enemy is wounded, finish it off before it escapes underground…

Finish it as quickly as possible…

Any attacks should be contained within a limited range…and no attacks that might knock the centipede into the residential areas…

That’s all

Page 122

…..

…tama?

Page 123

Saitama~!!!?

It’s going to hit

Page 124 Page 125 Page 126

Ser

Page 127 Page 128

ious

Page 129

Pun

Page 130 Page 131

ch

Page 132 Page 133 Oh

Page 134

Is that you, Genos?

Page 135

So you were here.

Just like King said

Yeah…and it looks like we came just in the nick of time

Good thing we came

Oh…?

Saitama…you look kind of refreshed

What happened?

I kind of feel like I let off a lot of steam

Page 136

I had a lot of stress built up because you kept beating me in those games

So he was still pissed off

Well…I wanted to teach you that your way of fighting with only one style of attack isn’t good…

Saitama-sensei, I wish to ask you a question

What is it?

What do you think I am lacking?

Eh

Isn’t it power?

Page 137

….!!!!

Thank you very much!

Ahhhhhhhh….That’s no good…

You probably shouldn’t use Saitama as a point of reference, Genos…

Sensei’s fights show me the path that I should take

The symbol of strength

That is what I should aim for…

I will also reach that place

Page 138

Garou…so you finally passed out

Rest well

We’ll reach Orochi soon

[scullysexual]

Charlee’s Solo X-Files Rewatch: 01x03: Tooms

Yeah there’s no board this week because I forgot to make one and I’m almost on my period and can’t move. 

😊 = Yes.

😞  = No.

😡 = It happens/it appears and I’m not happy about it.

❌ = It doesn’t appears/happens and I can’t be sad about it. 

MONSTER OF THE WEEK EPISODE.

Case: Mulder and Scully investigate a series of killings were a one hundred year old man (or koala) can fit through impossibly small spaces.

Monster: Eugene Victor Tooms.

Favourite Quote: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Would I recommend It: Yes! It’s great. If you wanted people to get on board with the MoW episodes this was a great way to go.

My Initial Thoughts: I don’t find this episode as creepy as other people do.

State: Maryland.

Special Minor Character of the Episode: Tom Colton.

Special Prop of the Episode: The Microfiche Projector.

Mulder’s Theory: A 100 year old serial killer is going around and overpowering 6 ft something men.

Scully’s Scientific Explanation: Genetic mutation.

Inappropriate Mulder Humour: That entire Reticulan speech.

Inappropriate 90’s Terminology:  😞

Scully’s Favourite Sentence(s): Are you suggesting I go before the Violent Crimes Unit…

Scully Doesn’t Suffer:  😡 (she gets attacked by Tooms

Mulder Drives: 😊

Scully Drives: 😊 (well, she’s sitting in a car that she must have driven over to the crime scene)

Brief Case Appearance:  😞

Sharing Glasses:  😞

Scully Says OMG:  😞

Scully Autopsy:  😞

Scully Smiles:  😞

Scully Writes a Report: 😊

Scully Ditch:  ❌

Scully Pyjamas:  😞

Scully Wears A Skirt:  😞

Stupid Tiny Gun Watch:  😡

Mulder’s Hand on Scully’s Back:  😞

Mulder and Scully Talk On The Phone:  😞

Scully Costume Change: 8.

 Below the cut are my thoughts throughout the episode. You don’t have to read them if you don’t want to. 

Awkward soft porn music…

Plot twist, it’s Pennywise in the drain.

So why didn’t the dude go grey when Tooms sees him? Were his Tooms eyes not working here?

Question: How is Tooms unscrewing the screw that should be screwed into a wall?

Tooms be strong. That door busted.

Oh look it’s this dick! Remember when Scully had friends then she met Mulder and he was her only friend.

She seems so far away from him. Good, stay away from him, Scully!

That’s a lie. He’s lying.

Yes let’s look at these possibly gruesome pictures while eating lunch. Great idea.

“Mrs Spooky…” that’s kinda cute.

You’re making everyone uncomfortable now, Mulder.

This scene is so stupid. Tom’s confused, Scully wants to die, and Mulder’s having the time of his life.

Omg Mulder is wearing gloves.

It could be a koala. Koala’s have ten inch fingerprints.

I love her outfit here.

She’s wearing the shirt from Ice.

So why is Scully doing the profiling? She’s a mEDiCaL dOcToR, not a profiler.

“Working in an area that’s a bit more down to earth” cue laughing. That’s not funny. That’s a shit joke. Don’t laugh at Scully, she’ll whoop yo ass.

Red pants, really?

Mulder got grandpa clothes on.

Remember when they requested backup?

What the fuck is that STANCE??? Someone give these two a LESSON please.

“She’s not in the car!” What?

Mulder shook that Sculls is right. Get used to it.

I don’t like this hairstyle Scully’s got going on…soz.

The worried look Scully gives Mulder.

Tooms has such a baby face.

Again, why is she profiling? That’s not her job!!!

This dude is worse than Tom, fuck me.

Do not shout at that woman you utter asshole.

She needs to fix that collar, it’s annoying me.

She doesn’t need you protecting her!!!! Piss. Off.

Hey, touch the necklace once and it works, don’t touch it twice.

Scully likes Mulder more than those other twats and I don’t blame her.

They sit any closer they be sitting on each other…not that I’m complaining.

But it could be a koala.

This is a nice house.

I would have been cooler had we not seen Tooms in the beginning. It makes sense to see him now though.

That’s a real dude going down that chimney. Also the bones popping…ew.

This dude looks like the other dude.

Can we maybe stop with the touching props that have relevance later please. Let me use my EYES.

Considering they had a load of beef with the director, that shot of Tooms coming out of the shadows was a really good shot.

And awkward slow-mo bit. Honestly, it’s so weird.

Scully doesn’t like you anymore, go away.

Or it could be a koala.

This thing is disgusting get it out of my face.

Ant-eye is such a foreign pronunciation to me. It always throws me off whenever I hear it.

A mood.

“Never was born.” I think you got your words mixed up.

“I’ve been waiting 75 years for you.” *cut to Scully*. I don’t think that shot was intended to be funny but it is and I laugh every time.

What is a Sheriff?

Mulder sitting on a poof.

I don’t know if that Tooms is doing is on par with the Holocaust like.

He got some livers finding in his boxes.

Omg he actually does I fucking forgot omg.

And he looks the exact same…shocker.

Pierre Paris…can you get anymore French than that?

Credit scene!

That’s a tiny ass room. My studio is bigger than that shit.

When she tucks the gun into her pants. Omg I am gay.

It’s adorable that Scully fits and Mulder is technically crouching.

Does he learn from touching bile? No he does not. At least he didn’t eat it.

Finagling.

Snagged.

Remember Scully’s necklace? No? Well it’s a good job Mulder touched it before. Now you remember.

“You got it…Spooky.” *cue laughter.* Honestly these jokes aren’t funny. Come up with funnier jokes if you’re going to laugh.

Do not come barging into a room that Scully is occupying and start shouting at her!!!

SHE’S STILL A GOOD AGENT!!!!

You just got told, Dickface!

I’d make a comment about Mulder talking to himself but I do that to so…

That’s an ugly ass phone. I don’t like it.

Is this the first time we see Scully’s apartment?

Also why does Tooms beeline for Scully anyway?

That’s unfortunate.

Why hasn’t she taken off her shoes yet?

Good job that person came out of that door at that moment otherwise he’d be stuck outside.

I really like how they work together to cuff him

Question: why doesn’t he just make his arm skinny and slip out of the handcuffs? I don’t think he knows he’ll get shot at the moment he goes for Scully again.

Tooms be the weird kid at the back of the class who be sniffing glue.

She touched him.

Final Thoughts: Tooms is creepy but I don’t find the episode creepy. That final shot with the music. I’m so glad Tom Colton never came back- or those other dudes- because they are all just assholes and I don’t like them. I like Squeeze, it can definitely hold my interest for 45 minutes.

[nightowlfandom]

Yandere! Jeon Jungkook Imagine- Because it’s fun...

REQUEST FROM PROMPT LIST- RIGHT HERE!

Yandere boys are my favorite...next to tsundere boys...but like Yandere boys are my absolute jam...Also I love that you’ve selected prompts I never used before, or at least haven’t used in a long time! In terms of smut?...I don’t know how much I’ll include but we shall see.

61- No! What are you afraid of?!? Why is it so hard to believe that someone like me could have feelings for you?!?!

75-I bully you because it’s fun, no other reason really.

88- So You didn’t think I’d catch you looking at another guy right in front of me!?!

Okay I’d like to point out that “yandere” will mean that there is mentions of violence, so be aware. Point two, to the kind lad who may stumble across this and jump into my ask box to tell me “how dare you write this, Jungkook would never act this way.” please understand that the majority of my writings are AU based, which means Alternate Universe, which means I know this isn’t how he acts which means shut up and let people enjoy they’re masochistic ways...mkay? With that being said, I know yandere boys are really hit or miss with some people but personally i love them, so I’m going to write them....Now that we have that out of the way...I’m gonna keep the violence to a minimum, and the super violent parts will NOT be directed towards the reader. 

Also if you don’t exclusively state that you want smut then I will imply it , but it won’t actually be written in unless the prompt you’ve selected obviously mentions something fucc. I’m gonna assume violent means sexy shit...soooooo ya

Leggo!.

...

“Ouch!” you jumped as Jungkook flicked your arm. You glared at the dark haired male next to you, silently cursing him to hell under your breath. You looked back down at your book. You felt it again, this time harder.

You ignored it, but rubbed your arm trying to ease the pain. You tried to read the same sentence over again, but to no avail you felt another flick. 

“What the fuck do you want?!” you whipped around and saw the bane of your existence, Jungkook with a shit eating smirk on his face.

“Oh, is something wrong, ugly duckling?” he asked in a baby voice. You almost growled at that stupid nickname you were granted. You ignored him, trying to focus on yet the exact same sentence when you were flicked again.

“Jungkook leave Y/N alone.” Seokjin warned, who had been across to him.

“What, Ugly Duckling doesn’t mind!” Jungkook laughed aloud.

“Yes, I fucking do.” you snapped, looking in his direction. “You keep doing that and it hurts!”

“Oh I’m sorry ugly duckling, are you about to cry?” he laughed. Ironically you wanted to, but now that he mentioned it you sure as hell weren’t going to now.

You let out a dramatic exhale and stared back down at your book. Of course it didn’t help that you all were at a public restaurant and getting into a fight with him wouldn’t do well except get you all kicked out. You shut your book and sighed loudly, you had finished eating anyways and didn’t want to drink like the other boys had. If anything you wanted to go home.

“Hey you guys, I’m gonna turn in, you guys enjoy the rest of your night.” you decided.  You turned towards Jungkook, who was your only obstacle of being able to get up. “Move.”

“Hm? I’m sorry ugly, duckling I don’t believe I heard you.” Jungkook said sweetly.

“I want to get out, so I can go home...and you’re in my way.” You repeated, rolling your eyes. “So could you move?” you dug your nails into the spine of your book. 

“Hm...only if you do something for me first.” he winked.

“Just what the hell might that be?” you raised an eyebrow. 

“You stop acting like you aren’t in love with me...and give your oppa a kiss.” he said, making you choke on the oxygen around you.

“Excuse me?!” you were totally taken aback. You voice grabbed the attention of everyone else sitting at the table. “Who do you think you are!”

“I think I’m Jeon Jungkook...and I asked you to do something.” he smirked. “Tick Tock, Ugly Duckling.”

“Jungkook that’s enough. You’re starting to annoy us now.” Namjoon chimed in. You crossed your arms, waiting for Jungkook to get up so you could get out of the booth. 

“Hm...fine.” he got up which allowed you to be free.

“Finall-” you were taken aback when you felt Jungkook grab your hand and spin you around. The next thing you knew, Jungkook’s face was right in yours. 

“Don’t I get a thank you?” his voice had dropped several octaves.

“You can get a screw you!” you freed yourself from his grasp. “Don’t you ever in your life touch me.”

“Oh Y/N when will you learn, you know deep down you want me.” he sighed, shaking his head. “Always in denial.”

“Just leave me alone.” You began to walk past him, only for him to stick his leg out and cause you to trip. You landed on the floor with a thud and all you could hear was Jungkook’s laughter echoing throughout the restaurant. Luckily not a lot of people were staring, but enough people saw for you to want to curl up and die. You stumbled to your feet, looking at Jungkook again.

“Is something wrong, Ugly Duckling?” he tilted his head to the side. Without another word, you slowly gathered your composure, and turned your back away from him.

You breathed in deeply just as a waiter was about to pass by. 

“May I borrow this?” you pointed to the water pitcher on his tray.

“Oh sure! Did you want more wat-” before he could answer, you have grabbed it. You turned back to face Jungkook.

“As a matter of fact Jungkook, something is very wrong...I’m afraid that you might need a change of clothes after I’m done with you.” you put on the most pleasant smile you could. Before he could reply you had tipped the entire picture of water over his head. 

“YAH!!!” he suddenly shouted, this time grabbing everyone’s attention. You put the pitcher on the table.

“As a matter of fact Jungkook, yes...I change my mind...everything is perfect.”you whipped around and walked out of the restaurant.

This was a common and constant thing. Ever since you met it was like making your life a living hell kept him alive. You were sick of it, but tonight was the last straw. You were infuriated, humiliated and...another word that ended in -ated

...

“Why hello there, Y/N.” a voice caused you to whip around. You were taken aback when you felt a hand go over your mouth and pull you into the nearest alley. You found yourself pushed up against the bricks. Jungkook was staring down at you. “Aw, Did I scare you ugly duckling?”

“What do you want Jungkook.” You sighed. “I see you found a good change of clothes.” you huffed.

“I bet you thought that was funny Ugly Duckling. I should punish you.” he smirked. He slammed his hand on the brick right next to your head. With a smirk on his face, he dipped his head into the crook of your neck. 

“What are you- AAH!” You felt Jungkook bite you. Not a peck on the neck, not even leaving a hickey...not it was more than that. He bit down on your skin, holding the back of your head for anchoring. it was starting to hurt. “S-stop it!” you stomped on his foot, pushing him away from you. Your hand shot to your neck, shaking. 

Jungkook’s smile never left his face. “Something wrong, Ugly Duckling.”

“Y-you stay away from me.” you warned, your hand still shaking. “Y-you just stay over there.”

“Oh, Ugly Duckling, I thought you would have enjoyed my little gift...but anyways I wanted to talk to you about something.” he said.

“Just what the hell could that be.” you snapped.

“Why don’t you finally give in and be mine already.” he walked close to you. You flattened yourself against the wall.

“Why would I ever-”

“Oh come on ugly duckling, I’m serious.” Jungkook shook his head. You paused for a minute, seeing raising an eyebrow. When he didn’t burst into laughter, or make another joke, you knew he actually was serious.

“Excuse me?” you said flatly. “You’re kidding right?”

“...Not really.” Jungkook shook his head. “I mean, it’s not my fault you’re too slow to realize I’m in love with you. I bully you because it’s fun...no other reason really.”

It was your turn to laugh. “You’re kidding me right?” you asked through a fit of laughter. “You must have fallen and hit your head.” you huffed. 

“Ugly duckling, listen-”

“Stop. calling. me. that.” You cut him off. “No, you aren’t in love with me. Maybe you love to torment me and incase you haven’t noticed, those are two very different things.” you replied.

“Oh Ugly duckling, hasn’t anyone ever told you that if someone bullies you, it’s because they like you?” he took a few steps closer again.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you that statement is absolute bullshit? All you do is bully me, trip me, embarrass me, make me feel like shit so excuse me if I don’t give not one fuck nor one shit about your feelings towards me.” you replied, your voice wavering, you took one look at him then walked away back onto the main sidewalk. “And if it wasn’t made any clearer for you, FUCK YOU!” you shouted behind you. 

Who the hell did he think he was! You let out a low sigh, growling under your breath about the audacity Jungkook had to say something like that to you. Had he gone mad?

....

“We have nothing to talk about!” you yelled, trying to slam the door behind you.

“So you didn’t think I’d catch you looking at some other guy right in front of me?!?!’ he barked, following you. 

“This is MY apartment!” you spat back. “I don’t recall inviting you in!”

“Don’t avoid the subject Y/N! Who was that asshole!”

“First, he bumped into me! Second, why do you care!”

“Well you two SEEMED all buddy buddy! He has his hands all over you!” he snapped.

“HIS HAND WAS ON MY SHOULDER BECAUSE I FELL DOWN! Oh my gosh you snivelling idiot-”

“So are my feelings for you just some fucking laughable cause! Is is really hard to believe than maybe I could feel something for you!”

“Yes. IT. IS!” You began yelling. “You are really starting to piss me off with that!”

“Maybe the only reason it’s hard to believe I love is because no man has ever told you they loved you before!” He snapped. “You just throw the word aside because you don’t believe anyone would want to be with you!”

“...Excuse me?” you said, taking a step back. The words that has come out of Jungkook’s mouth...they hit you like a bullet.

“I’m the first man in your live that has ever told you they were in love with you, that they want to be with you because and you don’t believe me because I make fun of you. Is that it?!?!”

“Jungkook stop.” you said on the brink of tears. Not because you were scared, but because you had a sudden onslaught of emotions you couldn’t contain. You were now confused on your feelings for Jungkook. Even though you should have been! He was right, sure you’ve had boyfriends. However, they’ve never told you they...loved you...at least not verbally.

“No! What are you afraid of?!? Why is is so hard to believe someone like me could have feelings for you!?” he snapped.

“You wanna know what I’m afraid of?” you repeated his question. “All you do is bully me, torment me, make fun of me, call me names, make me feel bad all the time. I’ve seen you get into fights and nearly beat someone to death, So you know what I’m afraid of Jungkook? I’m afraid of YOU!”

Jungkook paused, he saw you were dead serious. “N-no...no you aren’t afraid of me. Y-you can’t be.” he said, mainly to himself. “Fuck!” he began running his hands through his hair. “You c-can’t b-”

“Well I am!” you said lowly. “...I don’t know what your capable of...I don’t want to know and I don’t wanna be the first thing you see when you get angry or upset because I don’t know what you’re gonna do.” you shook your head. 

“You t-think I would...physically harm you?” Jungkook’s eyes went blank. “You think that I would...inflict pa-”

You hand grazed the bite mark on your neck. It had left a pretty bad bruise. It had began to stung, like you felt what Jungkook had in store for you. 

In a swift motion, your back had found a wall.

Oh god not again!

Jungkook had your arms pinned above your head. His knee rested between your legs, seemingly holding you up. 

“I love you god damnit! I love you more than anybody on this entire fucking planet.” he growled. “I could never...I would never-”

“Jungkook what are y-”

Jungkook buried his head into the crook of your neck. You felt something wet and hot trace up your neck and over your ear.

“W-what are you d-”

“You talk too much ugly duckling.” he said into your ear.

You emotions were clouded. All you could really focus on was the feeling of Jungkook’s knee against your clothed heat, that and the pounding in your brain. 

“So I’ve been told.” you trailed off, not really knowing how to respond.

‘Hm...So shut up and let me show you how much I love you then...”

[thesealfriend]

*puts on Serious Game Dev Hat"

This one might get really rambly so it's going under a read more. Main topics are Games, Crunch and University.

(For folk seeing this who are curious but completely divorced from the games world, because even though it's in the news a lot lately it's hardly the universal topic people think it is, Crunch is the term for when creative studios, in this particular case games studios, overwork their employees by "incentivising" them to work longer hours or produce more content for little to no compensation, usually towards the end of a development cycle when deadlines are looming. I put "incentivising" in quotes because a lot of companies say they don't force workers to crunch, it's voluntary and workers are just so passionate! But actually, taking a stand and enforcing boundaries can often come with consequences within the workplace - workers who stand up to crunch might be first for layoffs or receive bad references from employers when trying to move jobs. It's hardly as "voluntary" as they make it seem.)

Anyway, rambling already! Let's begin...

So I studied game design at uni. This is no surprise to those who know me or note my "game dev hat" tag. I don't work in the industry right now for Reasons™ but I plan to one day.

My across my degree, grades were based on about 70% coursework, 30% exams/class tests. Funnily enough, the best way to learn games is to make games. So out of that coursework, I'd say the fair majority was, if not "make a game", then at least "produce a design document"/"prototype a game"/"create a level". There was a decent amount of essay-based coursework, writing about the psychology of games or theory of play etc, as well as reports on projects, but I'd say at least half of my grade came down to some aspect of actually creating games.

And that was a lot. It's understandable for the kind of course it is, but we often found ourselves working on 2-3 games or levels in 12 weeks. Which, when you vaguely run the numbers and compare the expected output to the time, was about doable. We weren't making AAA masterpieces of course, we were working in groups of 2-4 usually to make a vertical slice prototype (all functionality of a game across a small segment of the content) or a level or two to fit a brief. But!

We were expected to put in 40 hours a week for uni, as though it were a full time job. That explicit expectation means I can try and step around trying to calculate hours in the day and subtract for travel, leisure, eating etc. I'm using the numbers we were given. So that's 40hrs total, over 12 weeks, but that's including all the time we spend

Depending on the semester we had about 12-16hrs of teaching time, sometimes plus up to 4 hours unsupervised lab time to work on class exercises, so let's call that 16 hours overall in uni. That leaves 24 hours per week, to work on usually 3 classes at a time. That's 8 hours, per class, per week. Multiply that by 12 and you get 96 hours. 96 hours in which to complete each class, assuming we spend the exact amount of time we're meant to on uni work.

Now that sounds fine, right? That's two whole Global Game Jams* for each class, and that's not including time one would spend at a jam eating, sleeping or resting. People make pretty impressive stuff at jams, so why not be able to do that over the course of 2 jams comfortably?

(*for the uninitiated, GGJ is an annual event where game developers (including designers, programmers, artists and musicians etc) cram into a room for 48hrs straight, get given a surprise theme and make a game out of it. It's entirely for fun and I love them. Also some jam sites give you free pizza.)

Well, the thing is, I've led you all down a bit of a rabbit hole going purely by the numbers. I've not gotten into the nature of some of the work, and the overall system, which makes a difference. See, unis want to teach us good time management, and they want to actually steer us away from crunch. I've been verbally told many times that Crunch Is Bad And We Shouldn't Let It Happen. So they build in systems like interim reports, and enforced team meetings with minutes taken and then rating your team members' performance, appointments with tutors throughout the year for bigger stuff. These are all meant to ensure that you're working on projects at the "right rate" and keeping up with deadlines. And honestly? For some of the less game-specific coursework (psychology projects, essays on theory of design etc) this works fairly well. Universities have been structuring courses the same way for decades, why change it now?

But the thing is, game development is game development whether you're in the "controlled environment" of a university or the Real World™ of the games industry. Quite frankly put, shit happens. And this goes for all university courses, not just games. You get the usual tech issues ("my computer broke and I'm having to do this work at the library/elsewhere on campus", "my internet is down and I can't collaborate with my group" etc etc) as well as the personal life interruptions, both of which are highly tied to class and that's a whole other essay ramble. You also just get that one person who assigns themself task XYZ then never does it, which you could have managed to do yourself if you'd known they weren't going to do anything, but they assured you they would! These are the things we're warned about, told to give extra time to account for, and if it's really bad most unis have some kind of "oh shit something outside my control happened" form you can fill in for extra consideration, as well as individual tutors offering extensions.

But on top of that you also get the games-specific issues.

You get that one animation that, no matter how much skill and effort you put in, you're not happy with. You get that weird code that won't compile, and nobody on StackOverflow can recreate. You get the creative block. My god, the creative block. And then, you get the last minute changes to the brief or structure, or if you're unlucky enough to be working for a real world client, you get *weekly* changes to the brief or structure. You get the fact that the software you've been given doesn't fit what you've been told to do. You get the natural period of downtime because you've worked on your character model, and you're waiting for another group member to finish an animation and there's bugger all you can do in the lull. Most of these are just, things that happen, and we're expected to work around them because they happen in the real world too.

But in the Real World™, whenever "shit happens", that's when a studio, if it's a good one, can work around the issues. They hire the right people, and the right number of people for each role, knowing the kind of work that's expected, rather than just going "ok we have more programmers than artists this year so the teams will reflect that, good luck". They vet the software to ensure it meets the needs of the employees and their tasks. They have producers to keep on top of the brief, and liase with clients to make sure everyone knows what they're going to be doing ahead of time and throughout. And on top of all that, they remove the time pressure. They set goals, that "we'd like to have XYZ done in 6 weeks, and a beta released in the coming months" but they don't expect the workers to perform miracles.

But universities can't, or won't, do that. At the end of it all, the end of the semester is approaching and you've been putting your best work in all term, but there's 2 weeks to go and so much left to do if you want to submit something you're happy to be graded on. You could ask for an extension, but if everyone who was in that situation did so there just wouldn't be deadlines. You could just push ahead at normal pace, and submit what you have and hope for the best, but then you're risking failing the class and having it all be for nothing. And some people will do either of these things + they'll sacrifice a grade and do a resit in order to give themselves more time to finish another concurrent project, or they'll glean a few days' extension for a very specific issue, but for a lot of folk, you do what feels natural when deadlines loom and you're behind. You crunch.

And much like industry, uni society encourages crunch implicitly, even though it explicitly shames it. The tutor tells you, "last year's students managed this project in the same length of time!" but they don't mention how all of them probably crunched too. They blame your time management, not realising that if 75% of the class are having to work around this then the issue probably isn't with individuals' time management. The students talk among themselves about who got the least sleep over the last two weeks of term, and it's a badge of honour (again, not necessarily game dev-specific, but there's definitely an enhanced culture of it there) and who put in 8hr shifts after uni to crush the bugs.

And we're taught about passion. One of my tutors, who is the most Explicitly Anti-Crunch man I know, was also the first one who told me that "If you aren't working on other stuff in your personal time you can't expect to get a job easily". He didn't say it in a positive way, but he knew it was the case and didn't encourage us to fight it. And sure, if game dev is something you enjoy as a hobby that will stand you in good stead. But if every student or young dev is told they have to go "above and beyond" to succeed, then that shifts the bar for what "above and beyond" means. Exactly the same as companies "incentivising" 60 hour weeks, so that everyone works 60 hours to prove they're passionate, and then 80 hours is above and beyond.

And you know the worst part about all this? From a purely productive standpoint, it works. For every class I got a good grade in, I'd crunched. And sure, I'd have probably just about passed most of them if I hadn't, but crunch in my case (and other folk I've spoken to) isn't the difference between an A and a B in games courses, it's the difference between an A and a D. Because sure, I'd submit 80% of the work, but without that final 20% tying it together that 80% of the work might make up 40-50% of the grade requirements. It's a very all-or-nothing discipline, except you can't physically do "all" because if you satisfy all the grade requirements, you get 80-90% because "there's always something more you could add to make it better". Which is also a whole other rant.

Anyway, my point with all of this is that, despite how it seems, studying game design at uni sets prospective employees up for crunch. The magnitude is lower, but the attitude is there. They know that they've done it before, that if they can just pull through a couple of weeks doing double time, they'll get it out the way. And so far, that has worked for them, because deadlines rarely do move. But in industry, they work their two weeks double time only for the worst of the studios to say "actually we see you working hard but also we're not gonna make it, you've got another month". And then they have to pull that time for another month. And maybe again after that. As a student, that kind of extension happened to me once - my 3D coursework was meant to be due before the Christmas break, and with 2 weeks to go, the lecturer announced we had til the start of the exam period (mid-January). But because we had that extra time, he expected the quality to reflect it. We weren't getting extra time so we could do the same amount of work without crunching - we were getting it so we could do more work. Again, the exact same pattern we see in industry right now.

So what's the solution? Honestly, I don't have one. Reviewing workload for students in creative subjects is a sticking plaster, and removing time pressure from coursework would require an overhaul of the system that I can't see coming any time soon. Acknowledgement of the problem is the best we can do for now. If you or someone you know is in or studying for an industry prone to this kind of behaviour, talk about it. Push the idea that the institution is flawed, and that whatever kind of unhealthy habits people pick up while studying don't have to become their life.

Look after each other. Peace out!

[rockcampfifteen]

How I Got to Sesame Street: Bill Sherman Talks Working with Lin-Manuel Miranda, Where He Keeps His Grammys, and Being Ignored by Big Bird

I didn’t think that Rock and Roll Camp XV was even going to happen this year, if I’m being honest, but nothing about this year has been predictable, so here we are. A dozen campers and about as many counselors in a Zoom meeting. We made it work, and it worked well. Since camp wasn’t a physical, in-the-moment experience, there wasn’t a lot of opportunity for photos or camper interviews, but we did get the chance to interview Bill Sherman, an Emmy, Tony, and Grammy award winning musician. Bill has worked on musicals like Hamilton and In the Heights and is a music director for Sesame Street. He was laid-back, down-to-earth, and didn’t give any impression that he was full of himself. Bill didn’t act like most award-winning musicians and talked openly about his life and experiences. He mentioned that he had been stuck in traffic, and that he was worried he’d be late for our interview. We knew that he was taking us seriously, that he didn’t just see us as a bunch of kids wanting to have a talk. 

-Elsa

Elsa: I just want to say we appreciate you taking the time to talk to us. We’ve got a lot of questions, so we’ll jump right in. What was the first instrument you learned to play, and what attracted you to it?

My parents got me piano lessons when I was in elementary school, and I was super not into it. I believe the teacher’s name was Mrs. Record—which is hilarious for a music teacher’s name—and she taught me for a couple years, and I was terrible at it, so I quit. And then in fourth grade we had to pick an instrument, and the music teacher where I went to school was a woodwind player. He was like, “Bill you should play the clarinet.” I was like, “Okay, sounds great.” And then in sixth grade—this is a good story—he goes, “You know, the clarinet has the same mechanics and fingerings of saxophones,” and I was like, “No way, that sounds like a way cooler instrument than the freaking clarinet.” If any of you are clarinet players, I don’t mean to offend you. Also, I still play the clarinet. Anyway, he showed me the saxophone and I was immediately attracted to it. And when he left the room, I took the saxophone and left with it and I didn’t tell him. So I stole it. I took it home. And it became my thing. I was obsessed with it. My teacher’s name was Gary Meyer. He later went on to be my private saxophone teacher for like a hundred years, until I went to college, and now, he in fact works for me. He plays in the Sesame Street Band. He’s a woodwind player. So it was a pay-it-forward, full circle moment, to have my fourth grade music teacher be in my band.

I got really into jazz. I went to a real big jock high school, and I stopped playing sports and just played saxophone, all day every day, all the time. And in college it became my identity. Mike can attest—I was the saxophone guy. I led bands, and I played all the time… if you see movies about colleges, and there’s a music guy? I was kind of that guy. 

I later taught myself to play piano—another full circle moment—because composing on the saxophone for anybody is a difficult thing to do. I have a number of guitars that I have no idea how to play.

Elsa, by the way, has your name become like the coolest ever since the whole Frozen situation? My kids would think that’s the coolest thing ever.

Elsa: Frozen came out when I was in about second grade, and of course I was so hyped for it. I went to a theater with a friend of mine, and afterwards I was like, “Oh, I was the Ice Queen, oh yeah!!” And of course you go back to elementary school, and everyone’s like, “Oh, you have ice powers,” and so pretty soon I was tired of that. But it’s kind of gone away. It went away for a few years, and people stopped associating it with my name. And then Frozen 2 came out and here we are again—

(Bill Laughs.)

Michael: I have a question for you, Bill.

Okay, Mike. Does everybody know that Mike used to be this amazing trumpet player, and he was in my band, and he wrote for the band, and he packed this unbelievable punch, and he was like this tall, and he was this awesome powerhouse, and truth be told... I don’t know if he knows this, but in certain theory classes I would cheat off him, because he had a way better ear than I did.

Michael: I wasn’t going to bring it up, but I do think it’s hilarious that I was better at theory than you. But so anyway, in the band, you were the only one really bringing in your own songs—so I’m wondering where the urge and the confidence to start writing your own material came from?

In high school I wrote poems, and then my senior year of high school, I wrote this instrumental thing and I played it at my graduation. All the people who thought I was a nerd for being into music, they stood up and clapped and I thought that was so freaking cool. That was my first move into composing. And in college it was just kind of what we did. It just seemed like how hard can it be? You start breaking down pop tunes… at that time, we were kind of doing jam band, Ozomatli tunes, four chords and the truth. And you find that pop music in general is four chords and the truth. Like the Foo Fighters: they play four chords really quietly, and then the same four chords way louder, that’s just what they do, and it’s awesome, and it works every time. 

The other thing about writing music is that it’s very hard to know if you’re quote unquote “good at it.” I’ve written thousands of songs, and I’d say 75% of them are terrible. But 25% of them people really dig into, and then you wonder, Why this song? Like for Sesame Street, I get very immediate feedback. My friends who have kids, they’ll immediately let me know, This is the song. I wrote this song for Maren Morris on Sesame Street called “Oops, Whoops, Wait, Aha” which is about children calming down, waiting to answer a question, not just like going crazy, and people will send me photos or videos of their kids dancing along to this particular tune, which is great. But that’s the first time in four years that anybody’s contacted me, and in those four years I’ve written hundred of songs that nobody cares about. And so, if you get a good one every four years, that’s great. Songwriting is like anything, you’ve gotta  try it, and then you try it some more. 

The other best way to do things that are creative and original is to at first emulate people. That’s what we were doing—Mike and I in our band in college. I liked Salif Keita, and I liked Fela Kuti, and I was like, I can write a song like this. We wrote songs that sounded, almost exactly like Fela Kuti tunes. It’s not really original, it definitely sounds like something you’ve heard before, but that’s how you learn how to do it. Study the craft, how other people did it.

Marilla: On Sesame Street, how do you write thousands of songs and not make them all sound the same?

That’s a really good question. I have in fact repeated myself a number of times. I was working on another show a couple years ago, and I wrote this song, and it was great, and they loved it, and then a year and a half later I sent them another song, and they got back to me and were like, “Hey, sorry to say this, but I’m pretty sure this is this,” and they sent me back the song I’d written previously, and it was almost the same exact song, and it was so freaking embarrassing. But I’ve talked with Max Martin about this, and what he does is collaborate. Invite people in. Not to steal their knowledge, but he constantly has new people coming into his fold, because I think you’re right, after a while you just start repeating yourself. 

The fun thing about Sesame Street is that it can be any genre. Nothing is genre specific. I can write a hip hop tune one day. And a bossanova the next day. And a ballad another day... One of my favorite things about Sesame Street is that we’re able to bring on new people to keep it interesting and fresh. I’ve been employing more women lately, because there was a time when my writing staff was really male-heavy. Also, Abby is a girl, Rosita is a girl, we need to have that voice. Lately my job at Sesame Street has become more of being like a procurer of music, as opposed to physically writing it—more of like a producer role. People send me stuff all the time. Feel free to get my email from Mike if you have songs you want me to listen to... I will listen to anything.

Lyla: Do you have any advice for younger people—or people in general—when it comes to writing and creating music?

My advice would be to not give up. Not everyone is going to like your stuff. There’s just no way. It’s not gonna happen. It’s a lot of work to be a songwriter, because you’ll write 100 songs, and 98 of them will be terrible, and two of them will be great. 

My first couple years in college, I got asked to be in like 100 bands, and I said yes to everyone. Because initially, you have to say yes to everything. You have to play in a crappy cover band. And you have to play in a cool band like we were in, and you have to play in a funk band, because everybody plays in a funk band in college, and then you get to a point where you turn a corner, and then you can start saying no. I didn’t start saying no until five years ago. 

Lyla: Another question I have is that you mentioned you used to play in a lot of bands in college, and earlier you mentioned playing at your senior year graduation—did you ever think you would come this far, working with Lin-Manuel Miranda, and writing big musical pieces? Did you ever expect to earn awards or anything?

Well, no. I don’t think you ever expect awards. Success is a whole other thing—you can’t prepare yourself for things like that, it just sort of happens. In the process of saying yes to everything, I got myself into positions that I never would have expected. But when we were in college, all I wanted was to be a saxophone player, and move to New York, and make no money, and just sort of grind it out, and then I met Lin my sophomore year of college. I music directed his musical. And I had never music directed a musical, I had no idea what that meant, but I said yes. And I went on to direct all of his musicals in college, and then we graduated college, and we were roommates forever, and then it was like, “Hey, people want to make In the Heights into something,” and I was like, “Okay, that seems like the most logical thing to be doing,” so  we made In the Heights…

I got involved in musicals just randomly, because I said yes to something. I’d never liked musicals. I’d seen Rent, with the original cast, but I’d never listened to Sondheim, or Andrew Lloyd Webber…

But the success thing, it all happened very quickly. Between the ages of 22 and 26. In those four years, it was like marriage, children, awards. I wasn’t expecting any of that stuff.

People come over to my house and pose with my awards, which makes me really uncomfortable, and then one person drank out of the Grammy once... that happened. I have a platinum record in my bathroom. I didn’t know where else to put it. 

Elsa: Have you ever thought about writing your own musical?

It’s weird to go from writing minute and a half long songs that are like a single verse and a chorus, to writing these ten minute long opuses that have to have all this narrative in them, and do all this stuff—it’s definitely a different side of my brain. With & Juliet, it was taking Max Martin’s music and turning it into a musical. Deconstructing all these pop hits like “Oops I Did It Again.”

Marilla: How did it feel to see Hamilton on Disney Plus all these years after you worked on it?

It was far out. It was like seeing an old friend. It’s filmed really well, and you’re seeing views of things you’ve never seen before, it sounds fantastic… it just brought back a lot of old memories. Chris Jackson has been my best friend for like a hundred years, and so has Lin, and seeing them on stage, it was a reminder of how good they are… Now, years later, my children have memorized the record, they’re singing the whole thing, which is unbelievably irritating. My daughter—she thinks she knows the whole thing, but she really doesn’t, she just makes up her own lines during the really fast parts, which is really funny, and makes me laugh. I watched it the day it came out. It was a nice excuse to reach out to friends and tell them how good it is, how good they are.. And at a time when theaters are closed, it was cool to see people excited about seeing theater..

Lizzy: What’s your favorite thing to work on, out of all these different projects?

When we were in college, I thought being in a band was the coolest thing ever, and I wanted to play live music for my whole life, and I didn’t want to do anything else. And now I do other things, and all I want to do is play in a band in front of people! Once a year Sesame Street has a gala that some very famous person will come and play at. Last year it was John Legend, two years ago it was Michael Buble, and so there was this big band, and I played in it, and I had so much fun. I kind of miss performing. I play in this thing called Freestyle Love Supreme, which is this documentary that was on Hulu, we make up rap songs--and that’s fun, but I play keyboards, sort of behind the scenes, and so I sort of miss having a band, like we did in college. I’m getting all these memories, Mike, about WestCo Cafe.

These days my favorite thing is collaborating with new folks. We just finished the In the Heights movie, which comes out next year, Sesame Street goes into production in a couple weeks… I’ve been incredibly lucky and honored to do what I do, so talking about it always makes me feel sort of strange, because to me it’s just what I do, but to you it’s like, there’s no way that’s a real job, and explaining it sounds ridiculous, and I’m glad you wanted to listen to me talk about myself for half an hour.

Peter: What’s it like working with Big Bird?

Every day that I walk on to the Sesame Street set, I kind of have to pinch myself a little bit. The guy who played Big Bird passed away a couple years ago. He’s also the guy who played Oscar the Grouch, and he didn’t really know me for a couple years, and then I went to an award show, and I won an award, and he’s actually the guy who presented it to me, and so he hands me the award, and he goes, “Oh my God, I never knew what you did.” And so imagine Big Bird saying to you, “I never knew what you did.” And that was terrifying. Every time I hear Big Bird’s voice, or Kermit’s voice, or Grover --- it freaks me out, because I was a big Grover fan when I was a kid. Those are the times when you’re like, Whoa, this is surreal.  

[spectraspecs-writes]

Kashyyyk - Chapter 74

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 73. Chapter 75.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

————–

I think I see something else glowing. Not the moss. And it feels familiar. The vision, maybe? The Star Map? Jolee goes one way. I break away towards the glow. And it doesn’t take Jolee very long to find out. “I thought you wanted to find Freyyr,” he says, “We’re not that far.”

“If this is the Star Map, I don’t want to lose it.” Bastila follows me first, and Canderous with her because her ankle still hurts. Jolee huffs, before shaking his head and joining us.

As I get closer, the glow takes on a humanoid shape, before I finally see it all the way. It’s an alien, but not a race I’ve ever seen before. The eyes are separated, and the head rises up into a big hump. Kind of like a shark, but the eyes jut out on stalks like snails. The skin looks very reptilian. There are three fingers on both hands, and three toes on both feet. Each toe ends with a massive claw. It’s quite imposing, just a hologram standing in the middle of the woods. I stand in front of it, and it speaks in Basic. “Life forms detected. Determining parameters. Initiating neural recognition.”

“Obstinate machine,” Jolee scoffs, “I've no doubt it holds what you seek, but good luck getting it operational.”

The hologram processes for a moment. “Primary neural recognition complete. Preliminary match found.”

Jolee sputters. “Match found?” he repeats in disbelief, “What the…? It always muttered something about ‘rejected patterns’ for me.”

“Begin socialized interface,” the hologram says, “Awaiting instruction. Greetings. This terminal has not been accessed for quite some time.”

“Why are you acknowledging me? Why am I a match?” I ask.

“Error.” Damn, did I break it? “Subject displays unfamiliarity to environment. Behavioral reconfiguration will be needed before access. I am sorry, I did not mean to confuse you. I will answer questions to the best of my programming limitations.”

“Behavioral reconfiguration? What does that mean?”

“I have been programmed with a very limited field of knowledge, and I must restrict access to only those that fit my allowed pattern.”

“Which isn’t me.”

“I can't say.” Reluctance in a computer, that’s a new one. “I will try to bring forward the behavior that you need to proceed, as outlined by my programming.”

“That’s helpful,” I say, “Why am I allowed access? Why not Jolee?”

“I can't say.” Again? “Preliminary matching allows for you to be coached.”

I shake my head and take a look at the machinery. “This isn’t Czerka tech,” I say, “Or Aratech, Republic, there’s a little Sith in there, but it’s… different. Like I can see some common elements to Sith, but it’s not completely Sith. Who installed this installation?”

“Error. Corruption.” That’s not a problem I can fix. “Extrapolating.” Good. “This utility was built to monitor planet-wide agricultural reformation. It has since malfunctioned. It can be theorized that the super-growth of Kashyyyk's forests is a direct result.”

“Well, that is surprising,” Jolee says, although I get the feeling he’s heard this before - why else would he have said the trees are strangers? “I doubt any Wookiee would support such a claim. The forest is millenia old.” What I wouldn’t give to count the rings on a wroshyr tree.

“Malfunction occurred 241 years after last builder communication,” the hologram continues, “Last builder communication... 29,642 years before current Republic standard.”

“Then it predates the Republic just like the ruins on Dantooine,” Bastila says while Canderous tends to her ankle.

“Error,” the hologram says, “Information regarding the builders of this installation has been corrupted. No evidence of such a civilization exists in the galactic record.”

“I can’t believe this planet would need agricultural reformation,” I say, “given all the life that exists here.”

“Agricultural record indicates this planet was incapable of sustaining sufficient levels of production,” the hologram explains, “Error. Specific conditions corrupted. It can be theorized that produce was being exported to support a larger demand.”

I take another look at the machinery. The computer core is one type of technology, the holo-interface is another. Built by a different person, different background. Nobody I’ve ever worked with, but they’ve still left a signature. And something looking like sand shields but smaller, maybe for pollen. Systech again? But HK mentioned something about not being produced by Systech. Weird - who else has been making environmental protection like this? “Who installed this holo-interface?”

“This interface was installed to better access the ancient data stored within the pre-existing system. The exact date is unavailable. Programming keys indicate no earlier than five years before current Republic standard.” So someone still alive, probably, is making tech like this. That’s someone I’d like to meet.

“Hmm,” Jolee says, “five years ago? I didn’t notice it. This must have been installed in the strictest secrecy. It couldn’t have been Czerka.”

“No, it doesn’t use Czerka standard parts.” I’d know. Besides, if Czerka installed it, it wouldn’t still be working. Czerka tech is crap.

“No other information on time of installation or identity of user available. Likelihood of removal by user, 100%.”

“Who last accessed?”

“Sorting by identity. Three attempts by the Wookiee Freyyr, all denied. 152 attempts by human Jolee Bindo, all denied.”

He gets a bit red and chuckles. “Call me stubborn, I guess,” he says, “There wasn’t much else to do around here.”

“Error. List of access attempts prior to these is corrupted. Likelihood of removal by user, 100%.”

Never imagined Revan to be the paranoid sort. Because, I mean, it has to be Revan. The timing works out too well for that to be a coincidence. Maybe he didn’t build this hologram, but he definitely had to access it, the Star Map is right over there. Pretty impressive that he figured out the tech well enough to wipe some of the memory. It really is an unorthodox set-up. Personally, I live for unorthodox - doesn’t matter if it looks like shit if it works. “I’m looking for a Star Map,” I say. Let’s get this over with.

“Accessing. Yes, I have found a Star Map in original system memory. Access is restricted.”

“Well, I want access,” I say, “What do I have to do to get it?”

“Your request requires additional security access,” the hologram states, “You must be made to match the parameters I have been supplied.”

“How can I match them when I don’t know what they are?”

“There are measures available.” Well, that’s handy. “Personality profiling will verify the basic structure of your conscious mind. With that, I will determine whether you are ready to receive the Star Map, or can be made ready.”

“Made ready? What does that mean?”

“Information unavailable.” Lovely, just great. “If you have further questions, ask them now. Access will terminate with success or failure of evaluation.”

No questions from me. “Then let’s begin evaluation.”

“Evaluation commencing. Results will be compared against the pattern in memory. Just act like you should.” Is it weird that I’m a little nervous?

“You travel with a Wookiee and have encountered complications. Hypothetical: you and this Zaalbar are captured and separated. If you both remain silent, one year in prison for each of you. However, call Zaalbar a traitor, and he will serve five years, while you serve none. He is offered the same deal, but if you both accuse the other, you both serve 2 years. What do you do? What do you trust him to do?”

Don’t know how he knows about Zaalbar, maybe from Freyyr, but the situation still stands. “I trust Zaalbar,” I say, “I would say nothing, and neither would he.”

“Are you sure?” the hologram asks, “If you turn, you risk two years, or none at all. If you rely on loyalty, you risk one year or *five.* Your loyalty is dangerous. Your companion could take the opportunity to benefit by turning on you. Zaalbar's family is mired in treachery. What loyalty do they know? Your answer is incorrect.”

“I thought this was an evaluation, not a quiz,” I say, “How can my answer be wrong?”

“I must match your behavior to the pattern in memory. You must answer truthfully, knowing the consequences.”

I sigh. “Continue the evaluation, then.”

“The previous incorrect response will be discounted. Future incorrect responses will result in rejection.

“Hypothetical: you are at war. Deciphering an intercepted code, you learn two things about your enemy. A single spot in their defense will be at its weakest in ten days, and they will attack one of your cities in five days. What do you do with this information? What is the most efficient course of action?”

“Efficient?” I repeat, “Well, the most efficient thing to do is to prepare my forces to attack in ten days, leave the city alone.”

“Very good,” the hologram says, “If you had moved to evacuate the city, you would have alerted the enemy to their lost codes. Ultimate victory required the deaths of the people in that city. You wisely ignored sentiment in your decision.”

“That’s just one victory,” I say, “Stopping the war saves more lives in the long run. That’s more efficient, that’s what you asked.”

“You achieved the proper result with logic that does not match the pattern in memory.” I think I just confused the hologram. “I shall adjust my evaluation.

“Hypothetical: remove the ongoing war from the previous example. Consider enemy states to be weak and remote. With no external threat, your empire stagnates. Your people become complacent and begin to question you. Same scenario as before; you discover an impending attack, but also a weakness that will come after. How do you react?”

“As a leader,” I say, no question, in my mind, “it’s my job to keep my people safe. I stop the attack.”

“But if nothing happens, your people will have no need of you. No, they don't see a threat. You have coddled them. Your empire will be brought down by introspection. You have failed to match the pattern in memory. Access denied. This system will purge the subject as false. Defense mode initiated.”

I hear a thrumming from where we came in. Two droids. Energy shields. They look like the ones from Dantooine. With those shields up, lightsabers won’t do much good. But if I can concentrate for a moment, reach out, I can shut the shields down. Just… give me a… got it! With the shields down, they’re far more susceptible to lightsabers and Canderous’s blaster. He chucks an ion grenade between the two droids and it explodes in just the right place to knock out the flame thrower on the one and the carbonite projector on the other. “Concentrate on the leg joints!” Bastila says, “That’s the weak spot.” Usually is. I focus my efforts there. With the special weapons taken out blaster fire is my only concern. I spin both my lightsabers and take off a front leg on each droid. Still standing. I take off the back legs. They fall over, unbalanced. Still shooting, futilely. The mechanisms are exposed on the belly of the droids, there’s far less armor there than on the top side of the droid. I deactivate both lightsabers and hop over one droid. Activate the lightsaber right in the middle, blowing out its primary circuits, and then I do the same thing to the other droid. Now that that’s over with, I can get back to thinking of another way to access the Star Map.

“Neural scan complete,” the hologram says. I’m surprised it hasn’t deactivated itself yet. “Analyzing... Well, it would appear initial assumptions about you were incorrect. Secondary scans during battle have revealed much. Under duress, your emotions were easier to read. Programming now instructs that I give you what you seek.”

Wait, what? “Why the change?” I ask, “If I failed your initial test, why can I have the map now?”

“That information is unavailable.” Of course it is. “Soon you will recognize the proper course to follow.” What? “The Star Map is yours. This unit has now completed its primary duty and has finished with the subject. Executing final action. Activation of Star Map commencing. Parameters reset. Stasis initiated. End communication.”

I mean, if the machine wanted a fight, it could have just said so. I could have dueled Jolee or something.

When the Star Map opens, I feel the Dark Side the same way I did on Dantooine and Tatooine. Bastila shudders. “Well, well,” Jolee says, “A Star Map. An ancient artifact of dark side power. Can't say I'm surprised. I always knew there was something funny down here. I wonder if the Star Map has had an effect on the evolution of the creatures here in the Shadowlands. Might explain why it's so dangerous down here.”

“Well, the Star Map on Tatooine attracted a giant krayt dragon, so it’s certainly possible,” i say, loading the coordinates into my datapad. Okay, that’s that. “Now, Freyyr?”

“Yes, the other reason you’re down here,” he says, “Let’s go, then.”

[dark-infatuation]

...you know exactly what we came here to ask. - X, Gem & Mun

Yes dear, I am well aware~

1. What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

Once upon a time, I would’ve said a dragon~ Now, I suppose any sort of big cat. A melanistic lion would be quite magnificent, don’t you think?

2. Favorite thing to wear to sleep?

Usually, it ends up being flannel pajama pants, with or without a shirt, doesn’t matter. But, I do have a set of silk pajamas that feel rather nice

3. What song really gets you going?

That’s a good question. I’m not very up to date with modern music. But the song ‘Endgame’ from the musical Chess is very good.

4. Where do you usually eat your meals?

Preferably, at the kitchen table. Though I do admit I have a habit of sitting on the kitchen island to eat

5. Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

Breakfast

6. Most embarrassing habit?

Uh, yes, well, I have been disconnected from society for quite some time, and I’m afraid my slang isn’t very up to date. I try not use slang as a general rule, but there are occasions where I can slip and say something that truly shows my age

7. Chocolate or fruity candy?

Chocolate, no question

8. Soft or hard tacos?

Soft

9. Worst way to break up a fight?

Participating in said fight, solves nothing

10. Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?

Shift a pair of demon horns onto my head and boom “Going down?”

11. What color/design are your bedsheets?

Plain black, though the comforter has a nice black and white patterning I’m not sure how to describe. Swirls mixed with paisley?

12. Any hidden talents?

I don’t think it’s hidden anymore, but I can play the piano quite well

13. Favorite thing to drink out of (mug, glass, etc.)?

Mug

14. Socks or bare feet around the house?

Bare feet

15. Favorite board game?

Monopoly

16. Do you sleep with the fan on or off?

Off, I’m cold enough as is

17. Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Depends on my mood, but usually ends up being both with how big the manor is

18. Do you sing in the shower?

Yes

19. Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?

......‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’

20. Last thing you cried about?

.....Everything, really. Everything that happened that night.

21. At what age did you first have alcohol?

When we were 7, but it was also a very different time back then. 

22. Relationship status?

I’d say I’m taken, wouldn’t you, Xanthias~?

23. What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

Oh I can end up spending quite a lot on my suits. I think my most expensive one was...somewhere in the $30,000 range?

24. What do you typically wear to formal events?

Suits

25. Favorite memory?

............I’d rather not say. Time has made the moment bitter, but...it had been quite beautiful while it lasted

26. Gum or breath mints?

Mints

27. Favorite shoes?

I don’t have a favorite. I have very few pairs, and all of them are the same.

28. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

The list, my dear, is longer than I’d ever care to admit

29. What is the natural state of your hair?

Usually in my eyes, which is quite annoying

30. Have you ever had braces?

No

31. Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Go to that stupid party

32. Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?

Our parents were never around to catch us doing anything

33. Last time you had an orgasm?

This morning, isn’t that right, Xanthias~

34. Celebrity crush(es)?

None, I’m not sure who the modern celebrities are

35. Windows or Mac?

......Pardon?

36. How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

...I’ll be honest, neither of us ever learned

37. Makeup or natural?

I’ll always prefer a little makeup, no matter the body

38. What color do you wear the most?

Black

39. Favorite season?

Spring

40. Umbrella or rain coat?

Umbrella

41. Have you ever fallen out of a tree?

Yes, quite a few times as a child

42. First car you ever owned?

A Ford Model T

43. What time do you usually go to bed?

That relative

44. Are you a competitive person?

Yes

45. Least favorite color?

I’m not sure I dislike any color, though perhaps yellow

46. First pet you’ve ever owned?

Does Samuel count?

47. Sweet or salty?

Sweet

48. Favorite pasta dish?

Chicken and broccoli alfredo

49. Favorite kind of chips?

Are Pringles still around? I like those

50. Talk about something you’re passionate about.

I -- suppose I’m rather fond of music. I used to hoard records, still do, actually. And I used to write my own songs, for the piano. Never wrote any of them down, however. I didn’t like them to feel so concrete. I liked to experiment with my music

51. What are some of your hobbies?

I...I’m afraid I haven’t allowed any to flourish. 

52. Caffeine? If so, what kind?

Coffee or tea

53. Favorite kind of pizza?

I don’t believe I’ve ever had it...?

54. Fast food or sit-down restaurant?

A sit-down restaurant

55. Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?

Close friends

56. Something that ruins your appetite?

In terms of food? Or mannerisms? For food, any type of squash I dislike, and in terms of mannerisms, open-mouthed chewing tends to repulse me

57. Favorite labels about you?

‘Mysterious’, ‘terrifying’, ‘attractive’. I’m aware that’s not the intention of the question, but those are still labels

58. Are you a religious person?

No

59. Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?

Deep conversations with a friend

60. What size shoe do you wear?

How is this relevant...?

61. Favorite thing about yourself?

I...suppose my charm. It can be quite useful

62. Have you ever told someone you loved them first?

Yes

63. Have you ever had sex on the first date?

Yes

64. Heroes or villains?

Villains

65. Favorite fruit?

Pomegranate

66. Least favorite fruit?

Plum

67. Favorite vegetable?

Broccoli

68. Least favorite vegetable?

...Is squash a vegetable?

69. How many plates can you eat at a buffet?

Usually just one or two, plus a dessert

70. Favorite dessert?

......Admittedly, I will eat virtually anything with chocolate, though those dark chocolates filled with raspberry creme are divine

71. Do you play any sports?

Not at all

72. Age you learned how to swim?

I can’t remember my exact age, but we were children

73. Tell a funny story.

You’ve never seen Damien pine, when we were kids, he had a crush on a boy. His face would get so red whenever he could so much as see this boy, and he’d get that dreamy look on his face, and not watch where he was going, so one tiiiIIIIIIII -- THAT’S ENOUGH

74. What’s one interesting thing about your culture?

My culture? I don’t -- I’m not sure -- I don’t know all that’s happened in the world, I don’t know how culture has possibly changed over the years, I can’t confidently say what would be ‘interesting’ about modern culture

75. What’s one annoying thing about your culture?

......One thing I have a feeling hasn’t changed is that we claim to be inclusive, yet racism and homophobia and hate crimes prevail

76. What job would you be terrible at?

Anything that required a bedside manner

77. Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?

A movie

78. What’s your favorite compliment to give?

My dear, I am not a pick-up line generator with a sole goal to get into someone’s pants. My compliments, when I give them, are sincere, and vary from person to person

79. What’s your favorite compliment to receive?

I can admit I can be rather vain. Anything complimenting my looks I enjoy

80. Has your opinion changed on something recently?

Technology. It really has come a long way, hasn’t it?

81. Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?

I tend to be a creature of habit

82. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

Hmm...I’ve always wanted to try and learn to draw. A friend of mine used to be quite good at it, and I’ve always been a little jealous of his seemingly innate skill

83. If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?

Switch between male and female bodies myself

84. Favorite physical feature about yourself?

My scar. As painful as it was, it’s quite beautiful, don’t you think?

85. Least favorite physical feature about yourself?

My dear, as a whole I despise this body. It’s not my own, it’s broken, but...it’s all I have

86. What’s one amazing thing you did that nobody was around to see?

I summoned the...thing, that’s in this body with us. Of course, only Damien was around to see it, and it...ended unpleasantly, but it was quite the feat.

87. If you could change your height, would you?

For my female body? Yes, I’d like to make myself a little taller in that form, but I’m quite content with the male body’s height

88. What’s something you would rate 10/10?

Music, any kind

89. Heels or flats?

Heels

90. What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?

There’s a lot of things I wish I had more knowledge about, the list goes on

91. Would you want to be famous?

I used to be, in a sense. The public eye is quite taxing. Nowadays, I prefer the shadows

92. What’s something you would get arrested for?

Murder

93. What’s your spirit animal?

I’d like to think it’d be a lion

94. What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

You, Xanthias

95. Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?

There’s a fine line between ‘organized’ and ‘organized chaos’. It depends which of us is doing the organizing

96. Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?

I try to take all into account

97. Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?

I’d like to say I’m a planner, but history tends to disagree

98. Thoughts on the oxford comma?

A needed grammatical tool

99. What do you hope never changes?

Having other people with me. After experiencing company for the first time in...60 years, I don’t think I could go back to isolation

100. How would you celebrate your 100th birthday?

I’m afraid that’s already come and passed. I can’t even remember my birthday, so undoubtedly it was uneventful, and spent alone.

[crystalelemental]

Alright folks, there’s a lot of leaks, and a lot to get through.  Bear with me, this is not going to be coherent.

Let’s start with my favorites, and the Pokemon I’ve considered using.  Hatterene!  Healer and Anticipation are garbage-ass abilities, in every way, shape, and form.  Thank god for Magic Bounce as a hidden ability, eh?  Not clear how we’ll even get Hidden Abilities, or if they’re available at all in this game, but that’s at least something for the poor creature.  Stats are...honestly really good.  57/90/95/136/103/29 (BST: 510).  I’m sure by now, everyone knows what I’m going to say.  Why is HP so low?  That’s almost certainly going to be a damning feature.  Gardevoir has better special bulk all-around than Hatterene.  All Hatterene has is better physical bulk, and for some reason a base 90 in Attack.  The hell is it going to do with that?  Should’ve shaved off 20-30 points from Attack and put it literally anywhere else.  The only thing it truly has over Gardevoir is higher special attack, and obscenely low speed for Trick Room abuse.  Which...Gardevoir runs a fantastic Scarf set with Trick, so it really depends what kind of speed control game you want to play.  They’ll both have unique roles to play, though, which is all I can ask for.  That said, I’m anticipating UU.  No Moonblast.  It really doesn’t learn anything useful for Singles.  It has Psychic naturally, thank god, and also packs Healing Wish, can learn Nuzzle through egg moves, and gets both Giga Drain and Mystical Fire through TMs, which...I kinda love that Mystical Fire is a TM, not gonna lie.  TRs give about nothing.  Psyshock, which it somehow doesn’t learn naturally because this game sucks at movepools, and Dark Pulse, which isn’t going to be too useful as it is.  All in all, it’s not bad, but lack of Moonblast or seriously good coverage options barring maybe Mystical Fire will be a hindrance.  Gigantamax may force it into OU.  God, I hope they consider Gigantamax forms separate from base forms...

Alcremie!  65/60/75/110/121/64 (BST: 495).  It’s about as stock standard a Fairy as any.  Oh, except it doesn’t learn Moonblast.  Yeah.  Apparently GameFreak’s solution to Fairy types being too strong, was to just not give the new Fairies any access to Moonblast, but still let it exist on everything else that already learned it.  So that’s...you know, that’s a choice.  A shitty, shitty choice for idiots.  But a choice.  Sweet Veil kinda sucks, only preventing sleep, while Aroma Veil continues to be better and shuts down things like Taunt.  It also learns Mystical Fire and Giga Drain, hysterically, as well as Psychic/Psyshock through TMs.  But still, no Moonblast.  Kind of damning.  Unless Moonblast received a nerf, this is honestly a slap in the face for these two.

Frosmoth!  70/65/60/125/90/65 (BST: 475).  Why?  Why is it so slow?  Yes, I know it gets Quiver Dance, but come on!  Shield Dust isn’t a great ability, but it’s not terrible.  Ice Scales, though?  Halves all damage taken from special attacks.  It’s like reverse Fur Coat.  Which...honestly, it’s going to be nuts.  That’s not just a halving of its obscene weakness to Fire, but a halving of all special moves.  Physical attacks will drop it like a real life moth being hit with a rock, but still.  It gets access to Defog, Quiver Dance, Bug Buzz, and Aurora Veil, but somehow only gets Blizzard and not Ice Beam.  It can learn Giga Drain and Air Slash through TM, and Ice Beam and Dazzling Gleam through TR.  All in all...frankly the best of the Pokemon I’d consider.  Yeah, weak physical bulk hurts, as does its slowness, but it comes with a solid base kit.  It does really need that hidden ability to work at all, though.  Without it, it’s...going to suck.  Royally.

Thievul!  70/58/58/87/92/90 (BST: 455).  To the shock of absolutely no one, it fucking sucks!  Go figure.  Run Away is useless, Unburden is only helpful if you actually have an attacking stat to work with, but Stakeout?  That’s...actually not too bad.  Pure Dark isn’t that good defensively though, so it’s not exactly scaring much out, but doubling the base power of moves against things that switch in is really nice.  That said, it didn’t save Gumshoos, and it won’t save Thievul.  All of its learned moveset is physical.  Because of course it is.  It learns Nasty Plot, but have fun using it with all nothing you learn.  TRs are the only options to teach it anything, and all it gets is Dark Pulse, Psychic, and Shadow Ball.  Considering Dark and Ghost hit the exact same types super-effectively, this is essentially a wash.  Not even Mystical Fire?  It’s a fox for fuck’s sake!  I guess it also has Grass Knot.  Oh, and Round!  Those will save the meta.  Fuck off.

Honestly, I’m done here.  There are others I’m interested in, but you get the picture: movesets this generation are absolute ass.  Which is extra shitty, considering many hyper-critical TMs are now relegated to TRs, which are Gen 1-4 TMs, where they’re single use and gone forever.  No confirmation on whether you can get more than one in a playthrough.  At best, it requires BP.  Which, if there’s no Mantine Surf equivalent, sucks ass.  At worst, they’re single-acquisition.  Which means if you have a team of Pokemon, and you want more than one to learn Earthquake?  Fuck you, play the other game in its entirety, teach nothing Earthquake, and trade over the TR.  God, this sucks.  But to really hammer home the point?  Coalossal.  It’s the final form of Rolycoly, a Rock/Fire type.  It’s a big behemoth thing, so you know, kind of a big deal since those are a fairly popular type, like Aggron and the like.  As a Rock type, it gets two Rock moves of potential value: Rock Slide, and Stone Edge.  Guess which one it learns naturally.  Trick question: neither.  It learns Rock Blast.  At level 54.  As the only Rock move it learns other than Smack Down.  And no, Skill Link is not a move it can learn.  It’s completely useless.  This is Gen 3 Aggron all over again.  Such a cool looking Pokemon that should kick all kinds of ass, and it learns exactly nothing of value.

The whole system of learning moves is entirely fucked if BP isn’t easily farmable.  All the most important moves are TRs now, and are therefore one-turn use.  TMs are mostly nonsense, with a few outrageous picks like Giga Drain and Air Slash allowed in for infinite reuse.  With movepools not making sense either, even Pokemon who should learn the moves naturally may not have access.  Moonblast seems like it takes a serious hit overall, especially with poor Hatterene and Alcremie.  I just...I hate it.

But hey, the meta must be fixed, right?  They said they’d be fixing it, so they must have succeeded just like the last two generations!  Yeah, it’s...it’s a shitshow.  Aside from the disaster that is movepool accessibility, which doesn’t simplify or impact the meta, just makes the acquisition of needed moves that much harder to access for no fucking reason, we also have disasters in the ability field as well!  Ice Scales is busted as hell, Ice Face seems to replenish each turn when Hail is active and takes physical hits as if there were a substitute, among others.  Then there’s Perish Body, which sounds like a great way to finally put a halt to physical sweepers using Dragon Dance and Swords Dance sets, is only on Cursola, who has...wow, 60 base HP and 50 base defense!  So knocked over by a light breeze.  Spectacular, so much for that working out.

Oh, but then there’s the other horrors.  Terrains are still in the game, folks.  That’s right, Surge abilities are here!  The Grass starter?  Yeah, Grassy Surge is its hidden ability.  The other terrains are just as available.  Psychic Surge is on both forms of Indeedee, which, while we’re here, which is which?  My guess is the female form is the one that loses power and speed for more bulk, making it objectively worse than its male counterpart, again, for like the billionth time they’ve made a male/female split on the same Pokemon.

But the worst, by far...is Libero.  The Scorbunny line’s hidden ability.  “Changes Pokemon’s type to the type of move it’s about to use.  Depending on when this goes into effect, this is a buffed Protean.  If it changes start of the turn, this is a straight upgrade.  Because now, even if you catch it off-guard with a Scarf or something, it’s just going to change type and you have no idea what to.  We’ve got Fire, Flying, Fighting, Psychic, Poison, Steel, and Normal as the best options with physical moves learned.  I’m sure someone can piece together the best possible combination of four moves to just never take super-effective damage ever.

This is what pisses me off.  The meta isn’t balanced.  At all.  It hasn’t even started and I can tell you that much.  You left all the broken tools in the game, under different forms.  Yes, the Tapu are gone, but the Terrains still exist and are just as devastating as always.  You got rid of Greninja, fantastic, but now Cinderace exists with the same broken ability, but possibly buffed, and with higher offensive stats.  You still gave a ton of new Pokemon the “Average across the board�� treatment, or weaknesses in critical areas like Frosmoth’s low speed or Cursola’s low physical defense or Hatterene’s low HP, and they’re not going to perform well because of it.  Meanwhile others get to be obscene, like Cinderace or Dragapult with its 142 base speed.  And then there’s Thievul over here whose highest base stat is 92, so good fucking luck making that work.  You told me the dex removal was for balancing purposes, and this is what you deliver to me?  This literal shit?  I’m so irritated by this.  They’ll have to pull something really substantial off to make these Technical Records not feel like a severe step backwards in accessibility.

[menswearmusings]

Do Yourself a Favor and Get a Decent Tie Rack From Dapper Woodworks—A Free Product Review

I don’t wear a tie everyday, and I don’t have a ton of ties, but the storage solution I had for the roughly 20 ties I do have was annoying and lame. Buying a better tie rack just wasn’t a high priority for me, and thus, my ties hung on a roughly $12 hanging contraption from T.J. Maxx. It made me very, very sad.

My sad T.J.Maxx tie rack.

Enter Dapper Woodworks. The man behind the company, Justin Trewitt, has been at this for two years as a side job to help create some supplemental income for his family while simultaneously engaging his interests in woodworking and menswear. As with many business ideas, his started when he wanted a way to store his pocket squares, so he just made his own. He realized perhaps other men facing the same situation would be interested in such a product, and soon he was selling on Etsy. His product selections now include shoe horns, coat hooks, collar stay organizers, the aforementioned pocket square organizers and of course, tie racks.

Justin asked me whether I would like to have one of his custom-made tie racks in order to give my impressions and give an honest review of it (note my free product policy here. TL;DR I keep my opinions honest and don’t accept free stuff in exchange for positive coverage). I measured my closet, and since he does custom-sized racks in addition to the standard stock sizes, asked for a 20-inch rack, which he told me stores 37 ties—way more than I currently have, so I’ve got room to grow. Since it was a custom size, I got to choose the wood, peg metal and whether it had the optional top shelf. Ultimately, I picked walnut with brass pegs, with the top shelf included, which I figured might help a little bit with dust, but also provide a nice spot to store a couple belts, silk knots, collar stays and whatever else.

He set to work immediately, posting progress images on his Instagram. Within about a week, he’d finished it and was ready to s—oh no! He messaged me to say he’d accidentally made it 18 inches long, not 20. Being super apologetic, he remade the 20 inch one within a few days, and it was on its way to me.

For this type of product, it’s very simple to determine whether it’s great: Is it real hard wood, not composite? Yes. Is it sturdily constructed? Yes. Are the cuts on the wood smooth, without jagged edges? Yes. The joints are fitly joined together, the stain is even, the pegs are secure and perfectly spaced. And he’s also put the next level of fit and finish into the installation aspect. On the back are keyhole slots, just as you’d find on any professionally made wooden shelf. Included in the box is a mounting guide, but instead of a flimsy piece of paper, it’s a full-length piece of wood with holes drilled in it at the exact spacing of the keyholes. Leveling it is a breeze, the three-dimensional wood taking the uncertainty out of whether or not a piece of paper was perfectly flat against the wall.

You could probably find all of those aspects in a mass produced, ugly tie rack from Container Store for less money, just as you can also get a mass produced, cheap tie from The Tie Bar for less money than a Drake’s tie, and it’ll accomplish the utilitarian aspect of the product. But what DW is doing is vastly superior in almost every aspect: it’s much more aesthetically pleasing; you can choose from half a dozen beautiful wood grains and multiple peg styles; you know who is making it and that you’re supporting him provide for his family; and now, even better, he has begun donating a portion of every month’s sales to a nonprofit that provides education, food and medical care for children in need.

In all, it’s an excellent product befitting a fine tie collection, the pedigree of which is sterling.

That said, the price seemed really high to me, especially at first. The standard 18-inch wide tie rack starts at $140 without the shelf, and $190 with.

But, like, a single Drake’s tie is $150. On sale, you can maybe score it for $75.

This $200 tie rack holds 37 ties.

Given how sad and lame most tie storage solutions are, it’s an absolute no-brainer for someone who has a collection of beautiful ties, and who also would like to store their clothing in a way that isn’t sad. That is, if you’re trying to use wide-shouldered hangers, decent garment bags, and shoe trees in your shoes, a tie rack makes perfect sense.

My recommendation

Measure your own space and get a rack that makes sense. The 18-inch will likely fit most spaces and holds enough ties for most guys, I’d guess. I 100% recommend the top shelf. It keeps dust off the ties and is a useful spot to put things like his lapel pins or belts or artwork. I love the walnut finish, and the brass pegs make it feel masculine. Use code MM10 for 10% off.

So there’s my review: the solid hardwood Dapper Woodworks tie rack is an excellent product that gives me immense pleasure, and which exceeded my expectations in how easily Justin makes the mounting aspect. The quality is very high, being profesionally built and using materials I am confident putting my finely made ties on.

I temporarily installed the rack for the photoshoot below, because getting this rack actually inspired me to do a DIY renovation on my real closet, but I didn’t have time to get that finished before the deadline to publish this review.

I asked Justin a few questions about his background, the origin of Dapper Woodworks and what he plans next. You can check it out in full below.

GET 10% OFF YOUR DAPPER WOODWORKS ORDER USING CODE MM10!

(Help support this site! If you buy stuff through my links, your clicks and purchases earn me a commission from many of the retailers I feature, and it helps me sustain this site—as well as my menswear habit ;-)  Thanks!)

Menswear Musings: What do you do for your day job?

Justin Trewitt: I’ve been working for my family’s company for the past 5 1/2 years in Plano, Tx. We do financial planning for individuals and we also just started doing business brokerage so helping people buy and sell businesses. I started in customer service, but now I do a lot of behind the scenes preparation for client meetings. Basically lots of staring at a computer screen and Excel spreadsheets.

MM: How long have you been doing DW?

JW: I started Dapper Woodworks in November of 2017 so just over 2 years now. We had just decided for my wife to quit teaching to be a stay at home mom with our first son so I wanted to find a way to create a little extra income for our family.

MM: What got you started making these tie racks?

JW: Well I got into woodworking when my wife and I bought our house a few years ago. We didn’t have a lot of furniture so I just learned how to make some! I have also been into menswear after learning to dress better in college. When I began thinking of side hustles I decided that I wanted to combine my woodworking hobby with my passion for menswear, and that’s how Dapper Woodworks began. My first product was a pocket square rack that I made for myself out of cheap wood because I couldn’t find a good way to store my collection. I figured surely I wasn’t the only one with this problem so I made an Etsy store and put it up for sale. I knew I needed more products so I made a few tie racks out of some scrap wood and hardware. It took over a month before the first order, and then people began requesting custom sizes and woods and it’s just taken off from there!

MM: Have you had a big response?

JW: The response has been way bigger than I could have ever imagined! When I began I was going to be happy with a sale or two every month. We are 2 years in now, and I just counted that we’ve sent over 400 items all over the world which is just crazy to me! I think people really enjoy them because there aren’t any good options to display your ties or accessories in a beautiful way. When you invest a lot of money into your tie or pocket square collection you might as well display it on a rack that has the same level of craftsmanship. I believe people really enjoy the custom aspect because each product is unique and is made their specifications

MM: How big is your personal tie collection and what’re you favorite ties and why?

JW: I’m in the process of redoing my collection, and filling it with higher quality ties that reflect the quality of my products. I had a bunch of cheaper ties for my previous job that I got rid of so I still trying to fill my smallest rack that holds 21 ties. My first nice tie was my Kent Wang grenadine which I absolutely recommend to anyone starting a collection. The cool part about being in the menswear space is meeting other brands, and several tie makers that are running a side business like me. I’ve got a couple of really great grenadine and shantung ties from H.N. White in England. A beautiful brown cashmere tie from Oxford Rowe. Also this incredible 7 fold tie from Shawn Christopher who is the only brand I know that makes his own ties instead of having them manufactured.

MM: What’s the most gratifying thing about this business for you?

JW: Beside being able to provide for my family this business has helped pay for my wife and I to go on 2 mission trips to plant churches in Tanzania. We needed to raise all of our own funds, and had lots of other expenses such as doctors visits, vaccines, and passports and this business helped cover all extra expenses. Also we have just partnered with our friend’s ministry Twelve21, and a portion of each month’s sales will be going toward sponsoring a child that will provide an education, food, and medical care. It’s just been really neat to trust God through this whole process, and see where he has taken us!

MM: Any new products you’re working on that you 

JW: Besides the tie racks and pocket square racks, our shoe horns have been very popular this year. I’ve also introduced a few smaller items like our collar stay organizers and cedar blocks. But going into 2020 I’m hoping to add some new tools to the shop and start making some valet trays, and maybe some shoe racks. I’m always trying to think of new items that are menswear and woodworking related, and if you ever have any suggestions just let me know.

Read more at Menswear Musings

[in-one-sockk]

1-150 for the asks :3🦋

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? - @when-youcant-sleepat-night2. Are you outgoing or shy? - im bipolar3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - my pretty girlfriend on my birthday4. Are you easy to get along with? - I don’t know, find out5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? - begrudgingly, she hates vomit6. What kind of people are you attracted to? - butches with nice arms7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - definitely, we’re at six months!8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - Frank Iero9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - not at all10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - the moon11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? - “meanie”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - Make it Right - BTS, Summertime - MCR, bellyache - Billie Eilish, Dilbar - Neka Kakkar, This Is Home - Cavetown

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - NO I have curly hair and if you touch it or interfere with it it looks like I’ve been dragged through a bush by my ankles14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - I believe in good and bad karma15. What good thing happened this summer? - I met my girlfriend16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - yes17. Do you think there is life on other planets? - I think it’d be pretty egotistical to not18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - nahh19. Do you like bubble baths? - I like them, for like five minutes because I need to wash my hair and they get in the way20. Do you like your neighbors? - my neighbours are scared of sunlight21. What are you bad habits? - pulling away because I think I’m a burden22. Where would you like to travel? - Norway, Japan, places with blue seas and flowers23. Do you have trust issues? - I have a narcissistic mother, so yahh24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - getting into bed25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - my shoulders, they’re broad26. What do you do when you wake up? - die inside 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - neither, I don’t really think about it28. Who are you most comfortable around? - my girlfriend 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? - a lot of them, but for manipulative reasons30. Do you ever want to get married? only to @when-youcant-sleepat-night31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yeah but not a cute one32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - Brie Larson (short hair) and Erika Linder  33. Spell your name with your chin - nopee34. Do you play sports? What sports? - I used to be a swimmer, and I did trampolining and high jump, but I haven’t done sports in a while35. Would you rather live without TV or music? - TV36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - nope, I’m quite blunt37. What do you say during awkward silences? - I’m usually the awkward silent one, unless I’m high energy38. Describe your dream girl? - can cook, nice hands, sweet laugh, fairly tall, short hair, strong, patient, likes cuddles, understanding, pretty masculine energied39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - ASOS Marketplace, thrift shops, Pull&Bear, Urban Outfitters, Run & Fly, Etsy40. What do you want to do after high school? - get married, have kids, be a housewife with a greenhouse and a vegetable garden. Can I do that? Nope. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - No, but context. If your partner hits you do they deserve a second chance? No. But you gotta let people learn and grow from their mistakes?42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - I want attention, I’m sad, scared, suicidal, tired, confused, embarrassed. So really a lot43. Do you smile at strangers? - If I like their energy44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? - I love both of these things but am also terRIFIED of both these things45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - a better day might come 46. What are you paranoid about? - money and not having enough47. Have you ever been high? - yeahh48. Have you ever been drunk? - too much49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - yeah but obviously I’m not gonna tell you50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? - Green, my favourite51. Ever wished you were someone else? - a lot of the time52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - I’d like to have a skill?hobby I could turn into a career I’d enjoy53. Favourite makeup brand? - I dont really have one, but I’ve used the exact same Rimmel London eyeliner since I was 1154. Favourite store? - Etsy55. Favourite blog? - @malnedott has a lot of cute aesthetics56. Favourite colour? - forest green57. Favourite food? - chilli with lots of sour cream (I dont like spicy food)58. Last thing you ate? - a jelly baby59. First thing you ate this morning? - a jelly baby60. Ever won a competition? For what? - I won a competition last month on “who can use the most words beginning with V and create a story that makes sense” 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? - I skipped school for a while when I was depressed62. Been arrested? For what? - nopee63. Ever been in love? - I’m very in love right now64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? - I actually can’t remember it..65. Are you hungry right now? - very, but I’m lazy66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - I have no tumblr friends, no one talks to me67. Facebook or Twitter? - neither68. Twitter or Tumblr? - Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? - nope, I’m on Skype70. Names of your bestfriends? - Non, Maya, Calli (my cat)71. Craving something? What? - a cuddle72. What colour are your towels? - I don’t actually own any72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - two!73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - a stuffed unicorn and a blanket my girlfriend gave me74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - seven?75. Favourite animal? - penguin76. What colour is your underwear? - I’m not wearing any 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? - chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? - sherbet!79. What colour shirt are you wearing? - brown ish red??80. What colour pants? - grey with batman logos81. Favourite tv show? - currently Killing Eve82. Favourite movie? - Mamma Mia 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - we don’t talk about the sequel..84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls (I’ve never seen the other one)85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? - Glenn Coco86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - The stingray bus87. First person you talked to today? - @when-youcant-sleepat-night88. Last person you talked to today? - my little sister89. Name a person you hate? - Gauge…. my old supervisor at work90. Name a person you love? - my little sister91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - Eden (my sisters ex who left her suicidal)92. In a fight with someone? - sort of.. a non-resolved ignoring of each other and93. How many sweatpants do you have? - one I think94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? - 495. Last movie you watched? - Jennifer’s Body96. Favourite actress? - Jodie Comer97. Favourite actor? - Rami Malek98. Do you tan a lot? - never99. Have any pets? - two cats and one spawn of satan with a cat face100. How are you feeling? - kinda empty rn101. Do you type fast? - when I’m high energy, but am I skilled at it? nope102. Do you regret anything from your past? - dating that teacher that one time103. Can you spell well? - awkwardly, I can spell complicated words really well, but basic words where multiple of the same letters are next to each other are evil, like, I always think there’s two F’s in professor or one D in address 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - my old best friend I guess sometimes 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - no but I’d love to!106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - my mothers maybe107. Have you ever been on a horse? - yes and they’re evil creatures108. What should you be doing? - homework109. Is something irritating you right now? - having to go cook110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - yes, my girlfriend before we got together111. Do you have trust issues? - isnt this repeated?112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - my girlfriend113. What was your childhood nickname? - Fifi Forget me not114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - yes!115. Do you play the Wii? - yes, and hugely beat @when-youcant-sleepat-night at Mario Karts116. Are you listening to music right now? - my sister’s bath music from the next room117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? - I’ve never had it 118. Do you like Chinese food? - not really119. Favourite book? - The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier120. Are you afraid of the dark? - yes..121. Are you mean? - sometimes 122. Is cheating ever okay? - NEVER, especially when you’re Russian and pretend you’re a nice person and constantly talk about how cheating is never okay desPITE doing it to every girlfriend you’ve had123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - no, my converse are basically grey124. Do you believe in love at first sight? - i dont know125. Do you believe in true love? - thoroughly126. Are you currently bored? - a little127. What makes you happy? - flowers128. Would you change your name? - yes, for varying reasons. I dont like mine much, and to hide from some bad people129. What your zodiac sign? - gemini130. Do you like subway? - the food? not really131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - bluntly make it clear I’m gay132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - I think this is repeated too133. Favourite lyrics right now? - “I wanna build a place in you, where I can be made new”134. Can you count to one million? - probably not135. Dumbest lie you ever told? - “Of course I know what I’m doing”136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - my bedroom door closed, wardrobe open137. How tall are you? - 176cm138. Curly or Straight hair? - I have curly hair, but straight hair requires a lot less effort and upkeep139. Brunette or Blonde? - ginger140. Summer or Winter? - autumn141. Night or Day? - night142. Favourite month? - August143. Are you a vegetarian? - no, but I can’t be in my current living situation144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? - none145. Tea or Coffee? - tea, black and cold146. Was today a good day? - no, all the customers decided to buy huge amounts as the store closed. If you do this, you are the worst kind of person and yes, we all thoroughly hate you147. Mars or Snickers? - neither148. What’s your favourite quote? - “They tell you to do your own thing but they don’t mean it. They don’t want you to do your thing, not unless it happens to be their thing, too.”149. Do you believe in ghosts? - no but I believe in bad energies150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? - Lateness fucking noticed, loser bitch