#and how my nan's looking better than she was - which is good obviously

[deeisace]

Fucking christ

[ziee]

Blinky x Reader (18+)

Arcadia. Back once more after the 15 years you've been gone. You were a friend of the Domzalski's, and the un-paid babysitter of their baby son. The day they won the lottery, you cheered in excitement for them. And the day they fell into the sea, you cried for them.

The heartbreak of your 2 best friends struck you so severely, you couldn't stand being in Arcadia any longer. The memories, the high school all 3 of you went to, the restaurant you went to after every celebration. You just couldn't bear it. The last memories of the small town were bidding little Toby and Nana goodbye.

But now, you're back.

Nana had contacted you, saying she needed help with Tobies. Half-blind and all, old and raising a teenager, you could see why. You didn't want to be out of your best friend's childs' life completely at the loss of his parents, so once in a while, you phoned your adoptive nephew. Just checking up on him, seeing how he was.

You had accepted, of course. Slightly jumping at the opportunity and a reason to come back to Arcadia, you called in sick for an indefinite amount of days and packed a suitcase. Filling up your car, you hopped into the driver's seat and started the long drive.

You were kind of thankful that you didn't have to buy a plane ticket, hating planes and airports, but the long, lonely roads brought into account new emotions. This is the first time you're going back to your hometown in 15 years.. You're going to see the high school. And the restaurant. And.. Their house.

The house you saw them buy, build and love. You remember watching them set up a room for the new baby. Deciding the colors, layout, and designs of the wall. You remember getting sloshed in the living room, accidentally breaking one of the photos upon the fireplace. Your kind of glad you did, seeing as you took the photo and hung it in your house.

The photo of the 3 of you.

The days were long in your small car, the best you could afford. Stopping at family dinners and shitty motels to rest. The cycle stopped on day 6, finally reaching the sign with bold letters spelling out, 'Arcadia'.

You picked up your phone and dialed Nana. She picked up after the 3rd time. "Hello dear! Y/n, are you coming soon?" She spoke happily, a bag crunching in the background.

"Hi, Nana. I just got into Arcadia, I'll be there in less than 10 minutes!" You smiled as you heard the old lady scolded one of her many cats.

"Alright dear. See you soon." She ended the call before you could bid farewell. You chuckled and rolled your eyes, setting your phone down into your cup container. You took in a deep breath as you entered the small town.

Driving past the buildings that seem so familiar but have changed so much, you felt an array of emotions. Happy your here. Confused as to why they would change things. Sorrow as you remembered multiple memories in the areas you passed.

Driving into the neighborhood, your car stilled at the infamous yellow house. Their house. You stared at it through your window, looking into their own as light shone from within. You sighed and started your car again.

Eventually, you pulled into Nana's driveway. Strolling up to the doorsteps, you knocked 3 times before waiting. A shuffle, a huff, and then the door opens. You smiled as your eyes suddenly felt teary. "Y/n! Oh dear, come inside, come inside." She urges you inside, holding a foot out to prevent a black cat from escaping.

You enter the warm house, the smell of bread and... Burritos filling the room? You shrug it off as you're ushered to the couch. Sitting down, you let out a heave of relief. You're not sure why. "So, how have you been?" You ask as Nana moves towards the kitchen, presumably to make you some tea.

"Oh, I've been fine. Toby and the cats keep me busy." She laughs as she grabs 4 cups. 4 cups? You could understand that the other 1 would be for Toby, so who was the other one for?

"That's great Nana." You smile, sinking into the soft cushion. Your car was not the worst, but my god the seats were terrible. It felt like nails were digging into your back and ass. Not that good for almost a week's road trip.

"So how are you dear?" She spoke as she took the kettle off the burner as it began to scream.

"Oh I've been better, I mean- WAIT- NANA, LET ME HELP YOU!" You shout, running towards the old lady, taking the opened kettle out of her hands. Unbeknownst to her, she had almost poured boiling water onto her cat.

"Ohoho, your so helpful already." She mumbles, skittering off into the living room. You look down at the tea bags sat in one of the empty cups. Orange Pekoe..  She still knows what kind you like after all these years. Your heart swells as you pour hot water into the cups, your lips rising like a goofball.

Stirring the drinks, 2 of the cups had hot chocolate and the other 2 had tea. You could guess which is which, so you handed Nana a cup while placing your own on the table before grabbing the other 2 mugs.

"I'm gonna bring this to Toby and..?"

"Oh! Toby has a friend over. His international friend, his names Arthur-San." You nodded and headed upstairs. From the top, you could hear loud cheers from inside the room you thought to be Tobies'. You knocked and waited, but you don't think they heard you from the loud volume of a video game.

You sighed and opened the door. Inside, 2 backs were turned to you. One, obviously being Toby and the other.. It was a white sheet. A large, very large in fact, figure was sat beside Toby, wearing a bedsheet. Uh-

"Hey Toby, and Arthur, Nan-" You stopped mid-sentence as the heads turned to you. A large, circle-ish face appeared from the draped sheet. A green, mossy beard decorated its chin, a mouth with 4 long teeth sticking out, and are those- HORNS??

"T-Toby.. Who is that?" You cautiously, and very slowly, set the drinks down onto a nearby dresser.

"Aunt Y/n?! What are you doing here?" Toby gets up and comes near you. You quickly grab onto him, wrapping your arms around him as you run out the door. "Wait- Auntie Y/n, he's a friend!" You turn around and quickly shut the door as you place Toby back down.

"Toby, go get Nana and run!" You scream. He just stands there, sighing. A knock from the inside of the room startles you. "Wingman?" A gruff voice speaks. You shriek as the knob is pulled from your grip, the door opening as the large head sticks out, right in front of you. Its black nose presses against your shoulder, pulling in a long sniff.

"Oh go-" And your fainting. A stone hand stops you mid-fall, preventing you from hitting a hard bottom as your eyes closed.

"I'll call Jim."

-

You awoke on a soft plush. Feeling around, you realize you're on a bed. "Master Jim, Lady Y/n is awaking." A deep voice calls out, sensing that you knew he was close to you from how loud he was. You sit up, rubbing your eyes as you adjust to the light of the room. Looking around, it was just a regular room. Including a monster with 6 eyes.

"AHHHH!" You scream, scrambling off the bed. The moment you do so, 2 teenagers including Toby run into the room. You move near Toby, your eyes locked on the monsters.

"Woah! Calm down Miss Y/n, if we can just explain everything-" You cut the boy with twig legs off.

"Oh, you kids better explain as to why there is a- .. A-"

"I believe the word is 'Troll." The blue monster says.

"Yes! That! Why there is a troll with 6 eyes and 4 arms staring at me right now!" You pointed to Toby, "And you! Explain what happened earlier, with that big guy. Right now." You huffed.

"Is she talking about Aaarrrgghh?" The girl with a blue streak in her hair spoke.

"Aaarrgghh? Wait a minute.. Arthur?!" Your brows furrowed. "Toby, have you been lying to Nana about this 'International student'?" You made finger quotes as you looked upon your nephew's embarrassed face.

"Uhhh, maybe?" He shrugs. You sigh, disappointed in your nephew.

"If you'll allow me to explain, Lady Y/n,"

Oh- no man, or at least you think it's male, has ever called you lady..

"Aaarrrggh and I are trolls. Master Jim as you see over there," He points to chicken legs, "Is the troll hunter. Underneath your world, there is a magnificent other world, filled with trolls and things you couldn't possibly believe." He waves his hands up in the air.

You nod, taking it all in.

"Ugh, this hurts my head." Another world? Trolls? Troll hunter?? Jim moves beside the blue troll whose name you don't know and speaks to him softly.

"Hi, I'm Claire." There's a hand that's shoved in front of you, in which you awkwardly shake.

"Hey, I'm Toby's aunt. Not biological but I knew his parents well." She nodded before removing her hand from yours. You leaned down, whispering into Toby's ear.

"Who's 6 eyes?"

A voice answered you before Toby's mouth even opened. "My name is Blinky. A pleasure to meet you, lady Y/n." The troll paddles over to you, his stone feet making satisfying clicking sounds as he walks. He holds one of his upper hands out for you to shake.

He didn't seem like such a threat, in fact, he seemed like a gentleman. You smiled and shook his hand. His skin was stone, as you could feel the cracks engraved into it as your hand flooded with a strange warmth.

"Nice to meet you too, Blinky." You release his hand after a few seconds of shaking.

"Master Jim and I were discussing a matter regarding you. If you would like, we could show you Troll Market."

"Troll Market?" You question.

"The home of trolls such as myself, and Aaarrrgghh over here." He points behind him, your eyes wander over to the window as you see that large head. The large troll waves a hand and smiles, seeing as everybody's eyes are now on him.

"Has he been out there the whole time?" You ponder. Why isn't he just in the room?

"Rooms too small." You look around, finding it is indeed smaller than your nephew's room. Oh well. You think about the opportunity to travel to this unknown world. Eh, why not. You would be keeping an eye on Toby as well, so that's always good.

"Um, well, if your offering then, of course, I'd come. Thank you for inviting me." You smile at the blue troll. He smiles back, his 6 eyes staring into your 2. His eyes just seemed so soft.. And mesmerizing, having never seen anyone like this before. Your eyes ghost his face, inspecting upon closer details on the stoned troll.

...

"Ahem." Jim coughs. You both suddenly break eye contact as Blinky coughs, making his way towards the exit.

"Aha! Yes, we should be going. Daylight is rising." He muttered as the teens follow him out. You follow, exiting the house as the breeze of the night flushes your already pink cheeks. Your lead to the bridge you had driven over while entering the town, but now under it.

Aaarrrgghh is tossed a glowing stone by Blinky, creating a semi-circle on the stone of the bridge. He punches the wall, creating a crack before it starts to fall apart. Yellow swirls around the stone before creating something like a portal?

The trolls head in, followed by Jim and Claire. "Cmon auntie, it won't hurt you." You begrudgingly sigh and follow him inside the glowing portal. Stepping inside, you wince as you close your eyes.

Not even a second later, you could feel your area darken. Opening your eyes, you see everyone else staring at you. Your cheeks flush in embarrassment. Goddammit. The kids laugh as Blinky looks at with you an indescribable expression.

Is he disappointed? Shocked? Unbeknownst to you, the corners of the blue troll's lips rose. "This way, lady Y/n." His 4 hands motioned you to the crystal stairs, swirling downwards in a circle. Oh my god- Wow.

Everyone makes their way down the steps, in comfortable silence. Coming further down, you stop as you take in the view. The magnificent, one-of-a-kind, breathtaking, OH MY GOD, view. "Wow." You mumble in awe, looking up at the enormous, orange crystal in the center. Everything was so beautiful.

"Welcome to HeartStone Troll Market!" Blinky exclaimed from behind you. The other smiled as they watched your reaction. Stepping down the steps, you ended up beside the 6 eyed troll as you stopped.

"Where should we go first?" Toby asked as you gazed upon the well-spoken mystery. Now taking a better look as the others speak, you watch as his eyes blink simultaneously. How the 2d tooth on both sides of his mouth is cracked. The deep grooves into his stone skin. You paid minor attention to what he was wearing before, but now looking closer you see the 2 satchels sporting each hip on his brown overalls.

Your gazing ventures further down, looking at his flat feet. Heh, they look stumpy. "Great! We'll take you to the forge, where you can see my impressive hammer skills!" Toby proclaimed, steering your head up from your gaze.

6 eyes met yours. Oh god, did he see you staring at him? Did he see you staring below his waist??? He doesn't bring it up if he did, instead leading the 5 of you to the 'forge'.

"This is the forge, where many of our great warriors have trained." Blinky gestures around the grand room. You look around in awe, feeling a little overwhelmed by such a beautiful realm.

"It's amazing." You whisper, settling yourself on the sidelines of the giant arena as the kids grab weapons. Weapons?! Oh god.. Aaarrrgghh comes and sits behind you, jolting you with a loud thud as he sits. Blinky stands beside you, gazing out at the children.

"Indeed they are." Your eyes meet his 6, a glance before breaking contact. You smile, proud of your little nephew.

"Aunt Y/n! Look!" The ginger boy yelled from across the large expanse. You watch as he pulls out a small item, before smashing it to the ground. It sprouts a large, flaming orange hammer. Your mouth widens in shock as you see him swish the weapon around. "Impressive, right? It's my war hammer." He says as he trudges over to you.

"Uh yeah, just please be careful with that." He laughs before skittering off. Guess he gets that from Nana. You sigh as you watch the kids spar, rather impressed by Jim's armor and Claire's staff. After they were done fooling around, you see as Claire checks her watch.

"Guys, it's almost 6:30. We should get going." Mumbling as she puts away her shadow staff. Toby groans, retracting his hammer as Jim takes off the amulet.

"Ughh, I forgot we had school today." You slightly chuckle at the kids' words, being the exact same as a child. Jim, Claire, and Toby all run towards the exit of Trollmarket whereas you stand still. Toby looks behind him, seeing your unmoving form.

"Are you coming, auntie?" He cocks his head.

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, I just thought I would have more time checking the place out.." You trail off, glancing at what you thought to be your last look at the mysterious underground world. From behind you, Blinky and Aaarrrgghh look towards each other.

"Ahem, if I may, Aaarrrgghh and I will accompany Lady Y/n down here while you're at school. If.. That is alright with you?" His dark, red eyes turn to your form. You nod excitedly.

"Yes! Yes, I would love that." His lips form a smile, 6 eyes gleaming at you before turning back to the other 3 humans.

"Now, run along kids. Aaarrrgghh and I will keep Lady Y/n safe." 2 of his hands form a 'shoo' motion as they smile. You move towards Toby, wrapping him in a hug before bidding goodbye. Turning towards your new-found troll friends, you couldn't help but grin as your leaded into the busy streets of the market.

"This place is so beautiful. How long have you guys been living down here?" You wonder, looking around at all the shop stalls.

"A few centuries, after the battle of Killahead bridge, we had traveled until we found the heartstone you see today." Blinky gestured a hand to the bright, orange crystal towards the center wall of the market.

"Hated boat." Aaarrrgghh chimed in from behind, his large statue circling both the conundrum troll and the female human.

"Yes, we all did." Memories flashed in his 6 eyes before he shivered, obviously not liking that part of his life.

"Killahead bridge? What's that?" You question. You're stopped in front of what looked to be a bookstore. The 2 trolls enter, you following closely behind them as you take in the view. Books littered the walls everywhere. Bookshelves, books on tables, and some even on the floor.

"Ah, and that's the reason why I took you here. You seem like a lover of history, as I am. Therefore, Lady Y/n, I have taken you to my lodgings to learn about troll history!" He exclaims, clearly excited.

"This is your house?" Looking around, it does suit him.

"Indeed, now make it as if your own. I will fetch you some books you can read that will fully satisfy a craving for troll history." He runs around the room, 4 arms stacked full of large books that would most likely take you hours to read. Aaarrrgghh yawns from the corner, bored.

A few minutes later, he sets the books down with a thud on a large table. You sit in one of the chairs presented, grabbing one of the books from the top of the stack. Opening it up, you stare blankly. Turning the pages, you realize you can't read the language.

"Blinky, I can't read this." You say, head popping up from the pages, meeting his 6 eyes. He walks over to you, standing closely behind you as he looks over your shoulder. Your heartbeat quickens as you can see the strands of each of his hair. His long ears softly flap as his eyebrows furrow while reading what you can't.

"Hmm.. That is an issue." He sets a hand on his chin, pondering for a quick while before getting an idea. Sliding a chair over, he sits in front of you, grabbing the book from the table into his 2 upper hands. "Well, I'll just read it to you!" He smiles as you nod, eagerly wanting to learn about something you didn't know existed until 2 hours ago.

And so began the many hours of Blinky reading trollish to you. At some point, Aaarrrgghh decided to leave the hole, leaving you and the conundrum troll alone. You arch your strained back as he finished reading the last sentence of the 3rd book. "And those were all the creatures starting with an A!"

"Wow Blinky that was really, informational." Stretching your legs outwards, you bump onto his foot with your own. Recoiling your legs, you speak quickly, "Oh, sorry." Your cheeks flush.

"No worries Lady Y/n." He sets the book down on the table. "This may sound a bit odd," His eyes find yours, "but I've always been fascinated with the human body. If it's alright with you, lady Y/n, may I take a look at you?"

You thought for a second. Of course, you would also be curious about a different type of species other than your own. Plus, although you've only known him for a few hours, you trusted him. You nod, "Yea sure." He visibly relaxed at your answer. "But," You continue, " I want to look at you too."

He blinked, processing your words before smiling. "Of course." You were unsure of what to do now, sitting in silence as you both watched each other. It was only when he scooted closer, the sound of his chair scraping the ground broke you from your gaze.

"If I may..?" He gestured towards your resting arm. You quickly lifted it up and bent closer, showing him your fleshy arm. He told ahold gently, stone hands that were surprisingly warm against your skin. He traced up and down your arm, squishing a few times.

His breath tickled your skin, resulting in tiny goosebumps forming. "What are those small bumps?" He mumbled, eyes fixated on your arm.

"Those are goosebumps. Humans get them when we're cold." You answer, enjoying being the teacher for once.

"Fascinating." He moved down from your arm towards your fingers, squishing, prodding, rubbing. Your hands tingled in his own as he poked your fingernails. "And these?" He pointed towards them.

"Those are fingernails, they're made of keratin." He nodded, placing your hand down.

"Thank you for allowing me to look at you, lady Y/n." You smiled, waving your hand.

"No problem. Now it's my turn." He lifted his lower arm and extended it towards you. You grab hold, a bit taken aback at the size. His hand could easily fit around your whole face. You rub the warm stone, strumming your fingers along it as you play a rhythmic tune.

Unlike you, he only had 4 fingers, every one of them very large. While your head is down playing with his hand, his 6 eyes gaze upon you. Never did he allow a human he just met to poke and prod at him, so why did he allow you? The moment you had awoken in Toby's house, a scream and a stumble he had expected when you saw him, but he didn't expect you to shake his hand for so long.

He would have sufficed a quick shake and a fearful let go, leaving you in his 'ok' books. But, you just kept staring at him, even now, he feels his heart shake a little as you examine his arm. Standing near him willingly, refusing to leave with Master Jim and the others, but to stay and explore more of his world? Oh dear.

"You know," Your voice snaps him out of his daydream, "even though you're made of stone, you're actually very warm." You note as you caress his arm.

"Ah, yes, rather strange isn't it?" He brings an upper hand of his to his mouth and coughs. He could feel as you trace the engravements on his skin, your fingernails scratching him a little.

"Can I touch your belly?" He sputtered at the question.

"My stomach?" You lift your head, watching as his face contorts into a confused expression.

"I mean, uh- never mind." You release his hand and try to laugh it off. Well, that was embarrassing. You feel your cheeks rise in heat as you look at the ground.

"You may." A soft voice beckons you to look up, staring at the oh-so-kind troll, looking down at you with gentle eyes. You smile, giving a small thank you before moving your hand towards the troll's exposed stomach. Settling your hand on the stone belly, you felt him jolt slightly.

Tracing the engravings upon his skin once more, you lean closer and place your other hand onto him. Your eyes focus on his body, not daring to make eye contact. Whereas, his 6 eyes stared intently down at you. Watching, feeling your every move. He could somewhat feel your breath on his stone skin as well. Although he did find it odd you would want to touch his stomach, it did feel nice.

Your hands caress his body, leaning your face in as you stare into the cracked stone. Wonderous. As you slid your hands up, you went a bit further than you assumed as your hands went upon his chest. "Oh- sorry about that, getting a little handsy heh." You remove your hands and scratch your neck as you mentally slap yourself. Goddammit Y/n. You could feel your cheeks reddening.

He says nothing, so you look up at him. His eyes, half-lidded, staring at you with an unexplainable expression. What is..?

"May I smoosh faces with you?"

"Pardon?" You lower your hand from your neck, head shooting up from his words. Smoosh faces? Wait.. Did he mean kissing? "Do you want to kiss me?" You whisper.

"Yes! That's the word." He nodded.

"Then, yes." You nod, slowly leaning back towards him. He swallowed as you closed your eyes, coming towards him ever so slowly. He pushed his face towards yours, his large lips pressed against yours. His teeth touched your cheeks, but he was careful not to hurt you. 2 of his arms came and clutched onto your shoulders.

Unconsciously pulling you closer towards him, you lifted yourself out of your seat and onto his lap. Lower hands settle onto your waist, holding you close as you continue the kiss. He pulled away first, 6 wide eyes settled upon you.

"That was.." You try and find the word.

"Magnificent." He breathed out. His arms slowly slid up and down your waist, caressing your clothed skin. "May I.. Remove your shirt?" Struck with lust, you nodded, lifting your arms up as he removes your shirt. Discarding the shirt to the floor, he leans in and breaths in your scent.

"Blinky," You whisper in his ear, "take off my pants." You slowly grind against him in his lap, breathing heavily. He aides you in removing your clothing, until your sitting on him with only a bra on. You unclip your bra and toss it to the side, your breasts free from the barrier. Your nipples harden at the cool air, gaining the troll's attention.

He asks for your permission, "Blinky, I wouldn't get naked just so you can't touch me." He removes his upper hands from your shoulders and placed them over your breasts. He experimentally kneads, pushes, and rubs your fat lumps. You softly moan, encouraging him to continue.

"You are very squishy.." He mumbles, softly pinching your nipples. You arch your back, pushing your chest further into him as one of his lower hands moves to support your back. You grab his hand attached to your waist and pull it between your legs.

"Touch me here." You release the stone as he complies, his large fingers fiddling between your folds. He takes experimental rubs into you, finding your clit with your help as you release a loud moan. His hands continue to rub your tits, rubbing your nipples with soft strength.

"O-oh.." You grind into his hand as he rubs your button.

"I'd like to take a closer look, if I may?" He puffs in your ear. You nod, frowning as he removes his hands from your body, only to lift you up and carry you towards a back room. Entering the new room, you see a pile of pillows and blankets littering the floor. He sets you upon them before removing his overalls.

You move a hand between your legs and feel your wetness, circling your clit a few times as you beg for him in your mind. He lays his clothes on the side before returning to your side. Settling his face between your legs, he inhales your scent deeply through his large orange nose. "Human anatomy is rather fascinating up close."

He says it as if he.. You sit up, bumping against his nose before he brings his head up, a confused expression on his face. "Blinky, is this the first time you've done it?"

"Done what?"

"Had sex..?" He smiles at your worried expression. "Cause we can stop if you want to-"

"My dear, this is only the first time I've done anything with your kind. As well, I am positively overjoyed to be with you right now. Rest assured, I want to do this." You exhale and smile, flopping your head back down.

"Well, that's a relief. And I am too, Blinky, really happy to do this with you." You avoid eye contact, your cheeks too flushed to be seen. He returns his head back down, his fingers spreading your lips as he explores you.

He blows air, rubs, licks. As his mouth plays with your outer part, a stone finger gently prods your entrance. Sliding into you with ease, you gasp as you thought how a single digit was so thick. You're having sex with a troll, duh.

Soon enough, with all of his stimulation, you came around his finger. "AhhH~" Crying out, he halts his movements as you come down from your high. He leans up as your thighs twitch, bringing his soaked finger to his mouth before licking.

"Was that alright?"

You panted, holding up a thumbs up. "Amazing." He gave an innocent smile, amusing in the situation that had just occurred. You leaned up, sitting on your butt. "Blinky, so um," You gestured towards his blank pelvis.

"Ah, for me to release my, 'intimacy', I will need to be coaxed open. Protective plates will shift, revealing myself." You nodded, crawling closer towards him as he leaned back, parting his legs. You didn't know exactly what to do, so you started with rubbing the stone. Looking up towards your lover's face, he seemed to like it as his 6 eyes fell half-lidded, staring down at you.

You continued rubbing until what he had said happened, his plates parted, revealing not one, but 3 appendages. The middle, being the largest, whereas the other 2 were shorter. "Ah.. Yes, the middle one is the functioning one, carrying the sperm. The others are for added stimulation." He muttered as your hand softly caressed his cocks.

"So, how do you wanna do this? You lie down or me?" You stroke him as he ponders.

"It is your first time with a troll, so allow me to take command." A breathy voice mutters, hands removing yours from himself as he sets you on your back. "I fear the other way around would have you in pain." He was right, cowgirl position usually gets deeper.

You settle down as he scooches near you, hands ahold of his larger phallus. The smaller ones swirl and wrangle as their placed near your thigh creases. He angles the middle one to your hole, as 2 of his hands grasp your waist. Pushing his hips forwards, he slowly slides in, stretching you no man, or toy had ever done to you.

Your hands find his attached to your skin, grasping onto his hand and signal him to slow down. He does, waiting for you to adjust to his girth. It takes a long while as you wait for the pain to settle as he pushes himself in little by little. After a couple of minutes, you finally have him all inside without any pain. Discomfort? Yes, but nothing you cant handle.

As he pulls out, the first few pushes are testing. Testing your levels and discomfort. Hearing the soft sounds you make as he slowly enters you, he speeds up his thrusts. Rocky digits hold onto your skin, moving upwards towards your breasts as another set comes onto your skin. He leans over you as he rhythmically pounds into you.

His smaller tendrils wiggle and surround your opening, gently prodding your hole. You couldn't dare to fit another one inside, could you? He stares at your form, looking for any signs of pain. "Are you alright so far?" He rolls his hips against you.

"Yes! It feels so good.." You lift your arms and place your hands onto his cheeks. He gives you a toothy smile before returning to the task at hand. Your arms fell to clutch his own around you as he gives a sharp thrust. You moan as he bites his lips.

A deep growl resonated within the bookworm's chest as one of his smaller tendrils slowly pushes its way inside of you. You whine as it snakes its way through your hole, wiggling against your walls. You feel so full. You could feel yourself coming undone, a ball in your stomach forming as he slithers inside of you.

The outer phallus slides up your vulva, towards the top of your lips, finding your little pink button. You squeal as you are overwhelmed with pleasure. He grunts over you, clenching his teeth as he continues to thrust. Wet sounds surrounded the room, the slapping of him against you is the only sound in the room.

You clench down around him, both of his cocks still moving as you release onto them. Soaked in your juices, they glisten in the light as they're pulled from you in mere milliseconds before pounding back inside you. You cry out from the overstimulation, your face contorting into many expressions as your opening's abused by large cocks.

As he nears his end, his chest rumbles as he begins to make curious sounds. Deep throaty rasps, before a loud yelp lets out from his tusked mouth. Hot seed envelopes your insides, soaking your walls. He continues to thrust, riding out his orgasm before he settles down. Pulling out from you, he leans to the side and flops down.

You pant and turn towards him, grabbing onto his hand as he heaves. You both lay in silence, catching your breath from such an exhilarating activity.

[she-wolf-of-highgarden]

I think where I have a hard time with Arya and Sansa’s relationship is that Martin gives Sansa a defense mechanism where she doesn’t look back at things. And I’m not saying Arya is terribly self-reflective, but he allows her to have more than he does with Sansa. 

Your little sister was hiding in the woods for three days? Don’t think about it. 

Your little sister is missing after the brutal purging of your household? Don’t think about it. In fact, forget to ask about her.  

The last thing (that the readers know) you said to your little sister was how much you disliked her and how you thought she should be dead? Don’t think about it. 

That lack of reflection can make it hard, especially when you compare the two. Arya thinks about her sister. Arya misses her sister. Arya gets:

“Arya sipped at her tankard cautiously, between spoonfuls of pie still warm from the oven. Her father sometimes let them have a cup of beer, she remembered. Sansa used to make a face at the taste and say that wine was ever so much finer, but Arya had liked it well enough. It made her sad to think of Sansa and her father.” - Arya II, ACoK

“When she thought of seeing Robb's face again Arya had to bite her lip. And I want to see Jon too, and Bran and Rickon, and Mother. Even Sansa . . . I'll kiss her and beg her pardons like a proper lady, she'll like that.” - Arya VII, ACoK (she shows she’s willing to change her behavior if only for a little while to make her sister happy)

“So the singer played for her, so soft and sad that Arya only heard snatches of the words, though the tune was half-familiar. Sansa would know it, I bet. Her sister had known all the songs, and she could even play a little, and sing so sweetly. All I could ever do was shout the words.” - Arya IV, ASoS

“Needle was Robb and Bran and Rickon, her mother and her father, even Sansa. Needle was Winterfell's grey walls, and the laughter of its people. Needle was the summer snows, Old Nan's stories, the heart tree with its red leaves and scary face, the warm earthy smell of the glass gardens, the sound of the north wind rattling the shutters of her room. Needle was Jon Snow's smile. He used to mess my hair and call me "little sister," she remembered, and suddenly there were tears in her eyes.” - Arya II, AFfC

And I’m not pretending that Arya doesn’t have some not nice things to say about her sister. She does. But Martin balances it better with her than with Sansa. And part of that is the defense mechanism and part of that is that Arya insults Sansa’s interests which is not okay, but she never actually calls Sansa herself stupid. Martin, however, does have Sansa insult Arya herself. Not just her interests or friends (which she does but in fairness Arya does that to her too so it kind of evens out), just Arya herself. 

“She treasured every chance to spend time with him, few as they were. The only thing that scared her about today was Arya. Arya had a way of ruining everything. You never knew what she would do.” - Sansa I, AGoT

“What could you want to see?" Sansa said, annoyed. She had been thrilled by the invitation, and her stupid sister was going to ruin everything, just as she'd feared. "It's all just fields and farms and holdfasts.” - Sansa I, AGoT

“The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, and Sansa went to bed that night feeling almost as wicked as Arya.” - Sansa III, AGoT

“Hodor!" Sansa yelled. "You ought to marry Hodor, you're just like him, stupid and hairy and ugly!" She wrenched away from her sister's hand, stormed into her bedchamber, and barred the door behind her.” - Sansa III, AGoT

“It was for love," Sansa said in a rush. "Father wouldn't even give me leave to say farewell." She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. She had never done anything so willful before, and she would never have done it then if she hadn't loved Joffrey as much as she did.” - Sansa IV, AGoT

Arya ruins everything , Arya is wicked, Arya is stupid. 

And do we have good points that come from Sansa? Sure. But there are still moments where Martin will kind of take away from the moment which is a problem when you have only a few moments. 

For example in ASoS we get:

“Lady Leonette gave her lessons on the high harp, and Lady Janna shared all the choice gossip. Merry Crane always had an amusing story, and little Lady Bulwer reminded her of Arya, though not so fierce.” - Sansa II, ASoS 

which is followed by 

“Sister. Sansa had once dreamt of having a sister like Margaery; beautiful and gentle, with all the world's graces at her command. Arya had been entirely unsatisfactory as sisters went. How can I let my sister marry Joffrey? she thought, and suddenly her eyes were full of tears.” - Sansa II, ASoS

That’s kind of rough. Yet after this we do get a nice moment between the girls. 

“She scooped up a handful of snow and squeezed it between her fingers. Heavy and wet, the snow packed easily. Sansa began to make snowballs, shaping and smoothing them until they were round and white and perfect. She remembered a summer's snow in Winterfell when Arya and Bran had ambushed her as she emerged from the keep one morning. They'd each had a dozen snowballs to hand, and she'd had none. Bran had been perched on the roof of the covered bridge, out of reach, but Sansa had chased Arya through the stables and around the kitchen until both of them were breathless. She might even have caught her, but she'd slipped on some ice. Her sister came back to see if she was hurt. When she said she wasn't, Arya hit her in the face with another snowball, but Sansa grabbed her leg and pulled her down and was rubbing snow in her hair when Jory came along and pulled them apart, laughing.” - Sansa VII, ASoS

And we know from Arya (and that Alyane chapter in TWoW should it ever come out) that there were nice moments between the girls, even after the Trident. I mean Sansa does confide in Arya. 

“Suddenly Arya knew where she had seen those dogs before. The night of the tourney at King's Landing, all the knights had hung their shields outside their pavilions. "That one belongs to the Hound's brother," Sansa had confided when they passed the black dogs on the yellow field. "He's even bigger than Hodor, you'll see. They call him the Mountain That Rides.” - Arya V, ACok 

And Sansa even tells Arya about Jeyne Poole’s crush on Beric Donderrion or at least it is implied. 

“Dondarrion? Beric Dondarrion had been handsome; Sansa's friend Jeyne had fallen in love with him. Even Jeyne Poole was not so blind as to think this man was fair.” - Arya VI, ASoS

“She told me." It all seemed so long ago. "Her friend Jeyne Poole fell in love with your Lord Beric.” - Arya VII, ASoS

So they obviously talked. We just don’t really get to see it. And its important to note that we get it from Arya. Sansa doesn’t usually think about it or mention it. Because that is her whole deal. In order to protect herself, she just doesn’t deal with things. 

Does that mean she is unsympathetic? No. The poor girl deserves sympathy. What it does mean is that is difficult to show what she feels about her sister because she doesn’t think about her sister. Arya thinks about Sansa more because Martin gave her a different defense mechanism. We can point to places where Arya thinks positively of Sansa and it is harder to do that with Sansa. Is it because Sansa is awful? No. It’s because Martin decided that her defense mechanism was to just not think about upsetting things and so she doesn’t think about Arya the way Arya thinks about her.

I would also point out that I think part of the problem is Martin is iffy at writing female familial relations in general. It gets better as the books go on, but still. Your  telling me we couldn’t get one scene with Cat and one of her daughters? Really? Martin doesn’t really show us female familial relations in general, you have a few instances of it, but its rare. We dont even get a scene where Cersei is alone with Myrcella. We know for a fact that Sansa and Arya have good moments, but Martin doesn’t show it in real time and that is kind of annoying. 

[dear-diary-where-is-my-soul]

Hey Diary,

It has been... almost a whole year? Idk. I’m here anyhow. I somehow got it into my head that when high school was over, I would somehow become magically no longer mentally ill. That didn’t happen, obviously. So here I am. I did a bit of digging and I think I have ADHD (Which I like to call dopamine deficiency) and also ASD (Which I like to call a pain in my ass). I’m just kidding, they’re both a pain in my ass. But at least I know what it’s called. I can kind of manage it now because I spent hours looking for management plans that work for both ADHD and Autism, and seeing what worked for me. I know for a fact that I have Anxiety (Of the social variant - possibly tied to autism) and depression (That I’ve had since age 12 - about 6 years). I thought I was over my anorexia but it keeps pestering in the back of my mind. I’m eating now, but it still isn’t 3 meals a day. It’s not ‘healthy’ meals but it’s better than nothing. I still think that sometimes I’m not worth the food. My boyfriend (The same boyfriend) is a really good cook. His food is so good. But neither of us can eat it.   I moved out for a short while, about 4 months. I moved in with my boyfriend, who moved in about 9 or so months before me, with his ‘dad’ (Non-bio, no longer dating [Boyfriends] mother). During those 4 months, I spent more than 1000′s dollars in savings not to mention my Centrelink payments, which only started during the second month [half of what my boyfriend was getting], to trying to keep me and my boyfriend alive. Which would’ve been way easier if I didn’t need to spend over 500 dollars in taxi fees because his dad didn’t know when to stop drinking. So, a little bit of extra kicked in the fucking balls, Before I moved in, I was told that I wouldn’t need to worry about rent until my Centrelink payments were sorted. But, when we move out, my boyfriend sold his bike and 650 of that money was given to his dad because he was keeping track of how long I didn’t pay rent for and said I owned it to him. Even Though my boyfriend offered 2/3 of my rent (Plus his own) every payday. We were both told that it was fine and that we didn’t have to worry about it.  He always complained about me being anti-social. Which was really fucking clear to begin with. I never said that I would be interacting with him more than what was comfortable. This was his main excuse for drinking. But, until I moved in he completely ignored my boyfriends attempts to be social with him.  He wasn’t my type of person. Conservative, mid 40′s, cis-het, white man with ASD and previous alcohol and drug use problems. AKA ‘There’s nothing wrong with the world you’re just to sensitive, men are men and women are women nothing will change that, except don’t move my living room around because that’s too much for me to handle’.  He used to scream at my boyfriend that he isn’t a real guy, but got upset when my boyfriend then put distance between them to not get any more hurt and depressed. I hated it. I can’t handle any loud noises or anything like that. It sends me up the wall with anxiety and I’m very easily over stimulated. Unfortunately, our roommate did not get over stimulated easily and really like heavy metal, which he would play unbearably loud until 2-3 AM on the weekends. He also nearly broke our bedroom door several times. He would scream insults at us through the door and while outside our window (which had a little undercover deck-type-thing, where he drank himself stupid).  Me and my boyfriend took a two week holiday up back to our home town, because my boyfriend was having stress-induced Seizures. He was having full-on whole-body fits every 2-3 days that lasted about 5 minutes (These have stopped since we moved out). Anyway, we got back home, being dropped off by my bf’s mum,( who has since very much mellowed out [about my boyfriend being trans] by having another kid, this kid is nearly 18 months old, has some kind of IBS [Unconfirmed as of yet, but he is in a lot of pain]). We put away the few bits of shopping we got, as we were band from touching our roommates food over a month before because he was asked not to eat ours (Not true, but he did use a full packet of our cheese [7 or 8 bucks per packet] in one meal that neither me or my boyfriend liked or could eat, which we were talking about to my boyfriends mother who mentioned it). He also said that we accused him of stealing and shit like that (We didn’t). But anyway, We make dinner because it was around 5;30 or so and we didn’t eat lunch. We put of a movie in the background and my boyfriend goes out for a cigarette on the deck-thing and when he comes back in he tells my that our roommate has been drinking but will stop soon because we’re home.  8:30 comes around, me and my bf are heading to bed with the same movie on in the background and that’s when the screaming starts. 20 whole minutes of our roommate screaming “FAGGOTS” to try to get our attention. During this time, we call my bf’s mum, who is still in town because she had a doctors appointment the next day, staying at my bf’s nans house. We then get up, grab our still-packed from our two week trip (day)bags, and wall ten minutes away to the shopping centre near-by and call a taxi.  During that night, our (ex)roommate texted my bfs mum basically saying that we are ‘kicked out’ and that he hates all of us. This isn’t the first time this has happened but it is definitely the last. We went back, the next day while he was at work, grabbed our other bags and a few of the essential items we wanted for the next week or so. Our landlord (ex-roommates mother) said that everything was fine to stay there until we could get it picked up within the next two months or so. She offered to pack it all up for us as well, which we accepted because neither of us wanted to go back to that house again.  We haven’t been there, or seen him since. My bf’s mother’s bf went with my brother to pick up all of the rest of our stuff a week after we left. We set back up in my home town, now both of us have been ripped away from our new doctors, our counsellors and my new therapist less than a week before my first appointment (which I now do via telehealth [phone/video calls]). This was about a month ago. me and my bf now have set up and pay for our internet ourselves and I got a disney+ subscription because I'm obsessed with feeling the safety I felt during childhood.  Anyway, I live with my boyfriend and his mum and her boyfriend and their 1 year old. Both of my parents live in this town but we’ve been in lock down and I haven’t been able to see them. I feel like I’m drowning because I don’t go outside. I used to walk with my boyfriend, but because he has several chronic health issues we can’t risk him going outside and he can not exercise as much as either of us would like due to chronic pains (And a busted knee which he has scans for in a fortnight or so). I’m in an online course, which was fully government subsidized due to the amount of people who need training or retraining after Covid-19. I really like it, and it is making me think more harshly about wanting to start a business. However, I don’t think I can do the assessments. Almost all of them seem to require me being social on the online group chats, and it fuels my social anxiety so much I didn’t do anything to my course for a whole month. And this whole thing was a way to help me get rid of those feelings, but I still don’t know what to do. How do I word it to the teachers? I haven’t talked to any of them before and it might seem like I just don’t want to put in the work in the social aspects of my assessments because I don’t have a diagnoses.  This sucks. I can barely sit my ass down and read through the work as it is. Then I start thinking about how I'm 1 quarter of the way through this course and haven’t brought myself to do a single assessment. Then I freak out over how much I’ve done (or haven’t done) and don’t end up doing the work. 

[gilded-green]

Sburb headcanons for your Dai Li ocs pleassssse (and Long Feng too i guess 😫)

asdlkhdslkfjlksdjfsdlkafl you actually asked

Okay so I don't have a complete list because I wasn't really thinking about it when I came up with these years ago, I just wanted to note the ones that were obvious/easy to figure out/intrigued me, so I don't have EVERYONE, but I have a bunch!

Some basic themes - Reeducation tends to lean towards Mind, obviously, and Preservation tends to lean towards Time, obviously.

Long Feng - Heir of Light He had to work for it, but everything DID pretty much just land in his lap after he managed to get all the pieces in place.

Shirong Zongzheng - Mage of Mind - Land of Silk and Lanterns Kinda iffy because we don't actually know how Mages operate, but one speculation is that they benefit themselves by arming themselves with knowledge pertaining to their aspect. Another is that they create their aspect.

Yong Diao - Thief of Blood or Heart Tuan Teng - Page of Heart or Blood I've never been able to make up my mind on these two, but whichever of them is Blood, the other is Heart. Yong is obviously a thief because he literally steals Tuan's subordinates and takes what he wants for himself in life, whereas Tuan is a Page because he...has a lot of potential but nowhere near as much self-confidence and this is kind of a Vriska/Tavros situation, unfortunately. :/ Blood is bonds and community, and Yong takes that from Tuan in a lot of different ways, but Tuan also needs to develop that for himself. Heart is soul and the self, and Yong definitely captures other people's attention and takes things for himself, while Tuan really needs to grow more comfortable and confident in himself. Either one works, really. I might be leaning towards Tuan being Page of Heart, tho, and Yong being Thief of Blood.

Delun Jing - Seer of Time - Land of Dust and Artifacts Listen. You can't tell me you're surprised.

Quy Dai - Seer of Heart Again with Heart and souls and stuff. I could probably rethink this one, I'm not overly attached to it, but it can definitely make sense. Quy is a very observant person, and he can see a lot of different things in each of his family members - many of which he then purposefully ignores or refuses to acknowledge, either because it'd cause trouble or it'd be awkward. Also, Seers and Knights tend to work well together, and, well...

Roulan Li - Knight of Blood She challenged Long Feng to a duel because of what he was doing to the Dai Li and she continues to work to make sure that their ACTUAL JOB isn't COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN over here.

Sunan Dai - Maid of Breath - Land of [IDK] and Poetry I don't care about gendered terms. :P Maids maintain, right? And Breath is individuality and freedom. Sunan suffers from a chronic illness that may or may not be sickle cell anemia, which can cause shortness of breath, and despite that he still does his best to create the life he wants.

Zan Dai - Witch of Time Look she's gonna turn out better than Damara ever did okay? Okay.

Wenli Dai - Sylph of Time I probably went for the Sylph title because her husband, y'know, has a chronic illness, and Sylphs are healers, and yeah. She can't literally heal him, but she can make sure that the time they have together is healthy and wonderful.

Mu Li - Heir or Mage of Time - Land of Thread and Stories I literally just came up with the classpect, lol, I only had the land ready to go. Either class would work for him, I think, but if he's an heir then he matches...

Peizhi Li - Heir of Blood - Land of Strings and Irises This is Roulan's mom and Mu's older sister, in case you forgot.

Antoan Nan - Thief of Mind or Heir of Rage Could go either way on this one. He's in Reeducation and he's a Nanyuese war child.

Now that I think about it tho, Heir of Rage could actually be a good class for Hoang Trung...she didn't exist when I first came up with these, lol, so she's not included unfortunately. I'll have to think about it!

Huo Bai - Sylph of Mind Shirong's most trusted subordinate, and definitely a healer.

Fen Bai - Maid of Space - Land of Sugar and Frogs Huo's wife.

Enlai Tong - Bard or Page of Light Enlai reminds Long Feng a lot of himself, I think, so I have them share an aspect to reflect that. Bard would fit because he kind of did use luck/fate to destroy Iroh's Siege by passing on the intel that got Lu Ten "killed." Page would also fit because he's another one with potential that he has to learn how to use.

Huang Xu - Knight of Life or Rage - Land of Pumas and [IDK] We haven't gotten to know Huang very well yet, but he is...definitely a protector, and also has a lot to be angry about.

Wu Sheng Shi - Rogue of Breath - Land of [IDK] and Laughter Rogues redistribute their aspect and Breath is, again, freedom and individuality, and trust me this fits.

~~~

And that's pretty much it so far! I do have a few more, but not for anyone you'd recognize and one's a spoiler, so. *shrugs* Maybe I'll share those some other time! And also any others I might come up with in the future! Thanks for asking this, this was fun! :D

[punkscowardschampions]

Amber & Cosmo

Amber: Red suits you…

Cosmo: Damn, is it really that bad?

Cosmo: 2nd message politely rinsing me

Amber: I mean it, you look really nice

Amber: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Cosmo: Oh

Cosmo: well, cheers

Cosmo: it was a necessity, like

Amber: For a good first impression, sure

Amber: I know how much they matter to you

Cosmo: We don’t all have an open window to make that ultimate impression

Amber: maybe don't drop that hint to her, whoever she is, it's a lot of pressure to imply the window of opportunity is closing after the dessert course

Cosmo: You might know her

Cosmo: She goes to your school, but Dash’s year

Cosmo: I don’t know her, but I can’t see her climbing through any windows tonight, or any other night for that matter

Amber: I don't know many people in Dash's year but those I do would be more likely than not to climb through a window, especially if someone like you was requesting it

Amber: Would you like to get to know her, that obvious deal breaker aside?

Cosmo: What do you mean someone like me?

Cosmo: But this was kind of a blind date situation, set up by someone who thought we’d both be interested

Amber: Let me see if I can put into words what I mean

Amber: someone who is generous with their time on top of also being attentive to how the other person wants to spend theirs because you actively listen and then make things happen

Amber: you're someone I really like hanging out with and I think they would feel the same in my place

Amber: Oh cool, I love blind dates!

Cosmo: Well

Cosmo: you’re in a good mood

Cosmo: It’s a shame that I don’t think I’ll feel anywhere near as similarly about anyone my brother associates with

Cosmo: I can see that for you

Cosmo: It’s awkward and you’ve never heard of the word

Amber: it's more of a shame you're trying to put me in a bad one 😂

Cosmo: I didn’t mean you, obviously

Cosmo: We called truce but it still don’t mean I want his dating pool to be mine

Amber: I wasn't suggesting it should be, the friends I have in his year aren't all mutuals we share, only in his head is he that popular

Amber: but I meant you trying to call me out for never feeling awkward in situations where other people are, as if I'm supposed to view it negatively instead of one of the positives this 👽 lifestyle has to offer

Cosmo: Maybe I was being nice too, and you just made an assumption

Cosmo: be mad at yourself

Amber: I wasn’t, but maybe now I am, an assumption of that being the best you can do at being nice

Amber: tonight or to me anyway

Cosmo: Yeah you were ‘cos I didn’t say it was a bad thing

Cosmo: What’s wrong with you tonight?

Amber: I don’t know what you mean or expect me to say to the biggest assumption you’ve made so far

Amber: tonight or frankly ever

Cosmo: Even if I weren’t out, I don’t think I could decode what you’re getting at rn

Amber: There’s nothing wrong with me, you said yourself I’m in a good mood

Cosmo: Right, fine, alright

Cosmo: I just need to go home then

Amber: I’m sorry your blind date isn’t going well though

Cosmo: It’s not the end of the world

Amber: no, but wasted time doesn’t feel good, and besides, something doesn’t have to be end of the world levels of BAD to get sympathy from me or a reaction from you

Cosmo: I don’t need sympathy

Cosmo: we just have nothing in common

Amber: okay, empathy then

Cosmo: Just stop, yeah

Amber: what?

Cosmo: Making it seem like a big deal when it isn’t

Cosmo: she’s some kid who’s split up from her boyfriend and needed cheering up

Cosmo: with that kind of pressure, no wonder I couldn’t manage it, but it’s not me who’s 😞 so it don’t matter, ‘less you wanna send her your condolences

Amber: it sounds like I should, or at the very least the wonky fruit basket your nan never got

Cosmo: you think I’m that much of a dick, yeah

Cosmo: nice

Amber: I wasn’t making it about you, she’s upset because she’s going through a breakup

Amber: why are you this determined to start a fight with me right now?

Cosmo: I’m not

Cosmo: I don’t have a fruit basket to hand, that’s all

Amber: You don’t need one, you already did your best at trying to cheer her up, it’s not your fault, or hers, that it didn’t work

Cosmo: It is my fault

Amber: personally, I doubt it, but if you believe it, tell me why

Cosmo: I’m never going to be what they expect or want, that’s facts

Amber: for girls still devastated over their exes, of course not

Cosmo: Right

Cosmo: Whatever then

Amber: you’re dismissing what I just said because…?

Cosmo: Because you don’t get it and this is a waste of both our time

Cosmo: and that’s 💔 so you should go enjoy your great mood

Amber: I get that you think you failed when really this was a situation where there wasn’t a way to ‘win’ because time, distance from her ex and anything that reminds her of him are the real things that’ll help her, it isn’t a waste of time to talk about it unless you wanna keep pretending it doesn’t matter

Cosmo: Being perfect on paper is exhausting

Cosmo: There was no point deluding her that it could go any further

Amber: You're not someone who leaves people in any kind of delusion, which isn't a bad thing, before you try and say I'm saying it is

Cosmo: Proving we don’t know each other at all

Cosmo: but it’s a favourable mischaracterisation so, why not

Amber: You're definitely determined to prove that’s true, tonight and every other since we’ve met, so if it’ll cheer you up

Cosmo: Selfless as always

Cosmo: and we haven’t spent any night together just two day trips so

Amber: we could, but either way, you know what I was trying to say, ineloquent as always

Cosmo: This one’s a write-off

Cosmo: and I might set alight if I get anywhere near a campfire

Amber: it doesn’t have to be and a campfire wouldn’t have to be involved

Cosmo: It always does with you lot

Cosmo: and I can’t change modes that fast

Amber: It’s me you’d be spending time with, boy, and I can be much more flexible than them about what my idea of fun is

Cosmo: You’ve told me how flexible you are before

Amber: it’s worth repeating

Cosmo: 😂 Show-off

Amber: not yet I’m not but I could be

Cosmo: Oh yeah?

Amber: any time or place, I don’t ever feel awkward, remember

Cosmo: Sure, see you when that’s actually believable for either of us

Amber: Okay, I’ll come and meet you now because it is

Cosmo: It ain’t

Amber: Why?

Cosmo: I know you get awkward, even if it’s not at the usual things everyone else does

Amber: We didn’t know each other at all a minute ago, according to you

Cosmo: you’re a contradiction too, that’s why I like you

Amber: if you’re gonna remember anything, actually, it should be that you do like me

Cosmo: I’ll deny it in a court of law, like

Amber: and I’ll deny liking you too if you do

Cosmo: Liar

Amber: maybe it would be true if you were that mean to me in a court of law, I don’t know

Cosmo: I don’t wanna be mean

Amber: neither do I

Cosmo: It’s the easy way out

Amber: I don’t want out, the easy or hard way

Cosmo: Not of this

Cosmo: the rest, it’s still not right

Amber: What’s wrong with it, the rest?

Cosmo: I mean, I could treat you all like shit and not care, if I was mean

Cosmo: it’s cowardly, he’s a fucking pussy

Amber: I’m glad you’re not

Cosmo: I couldn’t if I wanted to

Amber: perfect on paper isn’t subjective, that’s part of why it must be exhausting, I guess

Cosmo: It’s not real though, is it

Cosmo: at least I don’t have to deliver, the fantasy is what’s important, I just follow the script till we part ways

Cosmo: but that’s because I can’t deliver, not really

Amber: but it's sad, the idea of following a script instead of getting to know someone, feeling like you have to behave a certain way even if it is just for a night

Cosmo: They are getting to know me, as much as they want

Amber: it isn't fair to you or what you want, that should count too

Cosmo: What do I want?

Amber: I don't know you well enough to answer that, unfortunately

Cosmo: At least you aren’t deluded

Amber: Thanks 😂

Amber: but everyone wants genuine connections with people don't they? It wouldn't be an assumption that you'd also want that

Cosmo: Not totally, anyway, don’t get carried away

Cosmo: Not everyone wants genuine connection with everyone though

Amber: No, but you aren't blind dating everyone, right?

Cosmo: It’s not that deep

Amber: not with her, but you wouldn't have sounded so trapped before talking about this situation if you didn't want things to be different

Cosmo: She’s not holding me hostage

Cosmo: We’re finished up here anyway

Amber: If we're going with this analogy, okay, you're holding yourself hostage

Cosmo: 🙄😏 it’s either too early or too late for analogies, Ambs

Amber: I'm following your lead here

Cosmo: I don’t know where I’m going, so probably don’t

Cosmo: not tonight anyway

Amber: I don't mind where we go, you can pick

Amber: [suggest a place where you could do a night swim because you know he likes that and other places you could do sporty\competitive things he'd be about to try and turn his night around, I like to think there's 9 different options]

Cosmo: That’s dedication to the ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cosmo: I can’t do anything tonight, I told you

Cosmo: It’d be…

Amber: Raincheck? I'm trying to cheer you up not make you feel like you're under more pressure to perform for me

Cosmo: It’s not that but yeah

Amber: Are you gonna tell me what it is?

Cosmo: I couldn’t if I wanted to

Cosmo: don’t pay me for my way with words though, thank God

Amber: we can do another raincheck until you’re ready to talk about it

Cosmo: Sounds cheery

Cosmo: We don’t need to wait about and prioritize moping

Amber: We'd be prioritising communication, why's that so bad?

Cosmo: We could communicate about anything

Cosmo: Better still, do anything instead of talk about it

Cosmo: Why would we bother

Amber: Because I don't want things to be not that deep between us

Cosmo: Why don’t you?

Amber: I won't ever be able to answer the question of what you want, even if you meet me at the phonebox when we're old, if it is, we're friends, I wanna be able to say I actually know you

Cosmo: I don’t know how to trust like that

Cosmo: but I can try

Amber: you don't have to trust me now, we'll spend more than 2 day trips together first, see how that goes, there's no rush or pressure

Cosmo: It’s not a you thing, you know that yeah

Amber: It's okay, you phrased it very carefully, I understand you'd find it hard to trust anyone else you were getting to know too

Cosmo: Make it sound more calculating 😏

Amber: I was trying to make it sound like you're not as bad with words as you think!

Amber: because you're not, in my humble opinion

Cosmo: I’m not sure I’d call your opinion humble

Cosmo: but I’ll still take it, tah

Amber: I'm open to trying new things too

Amber: maybe I could be humble…

Cosmo: 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Cosmo: Maybe

Cosmo: Your hippie brethren would like it

Amber: Oh fuck you're right! 😠 Well now you've made me wanna not follow through with it

Cosmo: I won’t point out that not following through is right up their street too 😜

Amber: Maybe don't, pointing out ways they can feel superior to others is very up their street though, MAYBE even above all else

Cosmo: Yeah, the humility is just a guise for the overriding smugness, obviously

Amber: I couldn't argue with you if you wanted me to

Amber: not about how self-righteous hippies can be, and especially not tonight

Cosmo: What’s happened/happening tonight?

Amber: My parents have been bugging me to spend more time here because I rarely do unless it’s eating and sleeping, like a hotel, so I am, but it’s

Amber: feel free to fill in the unspeakable blank yourself

Cosmo: I’m sorry we can’t go swimming

Cosmo: and that I’ve been talking about myself this whole time, clearly, Jesus

Cosmo: Where’s your favourite place there? You should hide there

Amber: I talk about myself all the time way more often, it’s fine

Cosmo: I’m not my favourite topic of conversation, I’m never trying to be that guy

Cosmo: Don’t you like the hammocks?

Cosmo: It’s not a bad night for it

Amber: Sure, but you’re not my most hated topic of conversation, far from it, meaning I can’t really be 😠

Amber: it’s a beautiful night but too early in it to hide away when the goal was to be social and appease my parents

Cosmo: Is it a long list? Or am I flattered? 🤔

Cosmo: Don’t they have like 10 boy/girl/themfriends to hang with and keep them entertained

Cosmo: You aren’t going to be around much longer

Amber: 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Amber: Are you flattered or aren’t you?

Amber: And as of right now my dad is single while my mum has a boyfriend, if I was a cynic like you I’d probably think that’s why they’re taking such an interest

Amber: but they always have and I’m always gonna be their 👶🏽

Cosmo: You are an only child, true

Cosmo: Try to block out the people you aren’t actually related to then

Cosmo: Good luck

Amber: Thanks

Cosmo: Hey, I actually meant that

Amber: Okay, boy, that doesn’t mean I know a more sincere way to say thank you right now

Cosmo: It’s not like I can actually help

Cosmo: my family quality time is hardly goals

Amber: mine either any more if this is what it looks like

Cosmo: When did it start to feel different for you?

Amber: When I started to feel different to them

Amber: think for myself

Amber: it started smaller and with 👶🏽 acts of rebellion, of course

Cosmo: I bet you were cute

Amber: I was, whatever timeframe you’re imagining

Amber: because the acts of rebellion weren’t all that long ago, some of them were just really immature, since they made a huge deal about 💬💭 individuality until I decided to use mine deviate from ☮️💙 hardly an adult response in itself

Cosmo: All parents have an ideal and an expectation, they can deny it all they like

Cosmo: if you don’t turn out how they thought, it can take them a long time to deal with it

Amber: I’m not gonna be 👶🏽 enough to wish they’d deal with it faster, or pretend I’ll prove you wrong when it’s my turn, don’t worry

Cosmo: At least if you become a total normie, you also won’t be shocked if your kid decides to hang out at a commune

Cosmo: the 👶🏽 will definitely be pissed off at how unphased you act and the 👶🏽 of rebellion will still be a thing though

Amber: I've seen too many births for them not to be adopted, if I become a terrible person and parent, I can put the blame there instead of taking any responsibility

Cosmo: Fair but a shame

Cosmo: they won’t be as cute for it

Amber: Unfair, they'll be adorable

Cosmo: If you ask for that then you’ll definitely sound like a terrible person 😅

Amber: Shh babies and toddlers just are, I won't need to do a special request

Cosmo: You’re used to the plastic ones that don’t shit, puke and scream all the time, I reckon

Amber: They're not cute, they're slightly creepy

Amber: [photographic evidence making them look as creepy as we can in the dark in the hammocks like see]

Cosmo: Is your ma trying to prepare them for a rosemary’s baby situation what the fuck is that

Amber: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Cosmo: At least they can’t chat shit at you all night

Cosmo: unless they can, then you need to throw them in the camp fire

Amber: I can't believe I have to tell you again to stop trying to hex me

Amber: if we get to 9 something spooky is definitely gonna happen

Cosmo: s’what I’m really doing here, obviously

Amber: 🧙🏽‍♂️

Cosmo: Never seen ‘em

Cosmo: he’s the best one though, right?

Amber: I’ve not either, so if he isn’t I’m not starting a fight deliberately, I promise

Cosmo: 😏

Cosmo: I’ll ask my nan, she’d know

Amber: I could knock but I think that’s how she’s meant to contact me so it’ll be easier if you do

Cosmo: Moving shit a quartre of an inch isn’t exactly the best means of communication

Amber: not in Dash’s room

Cosmo: Yeah

Amber: if I was a 👻 I’d float myself there

Cosmo: Gutted

Cosmo: don’t you have to haunt where you die

Cosmo: you don’t wanna be stuck with him for eternity

Amber: True, it wouldn’t be worth it to briefly escape him and everyone else for now

Cosmo: You can though

Cosmo: when your parents are satisfied

Cosmo: my room is free

Amber: I’m allowed in your room?

Cosmo: not a blanket rule

Cosmo: but tonight

Amber: Okay

Amber: [she should definitely leave something for him, I’ll have to think what]

Cosmo: thank me later for the better smell, like

Amber: I’ll think of a way to express how deep my gratitude is

Amber: 💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭

Cosmo: One of us having a good night is enough

Amber: it isn’t too late for us both to have a good night

Cosmo: it is

Amber: You’re not someone who gives up that easily

Cosmo: I’m not

Cosmo: I’m not giving in

Amber: then you can turn it around

Cosmo: By myself

Amber: or not, it depends what you want

Cosmo: nah

Amber: Why not? You’re anti moping, right?

Cosmo: I’ve told you, I can’t see you

Amber: I can’t be the only person who’d make you happy, that’d make me too ⭐️ and you’ve also told me I’m not, that you don’t think anybody is

Cosmo: I don’t

Cosmo: but it’s too late and I’m too drunk to pretend I don’t know where I wanna be

Amber: If there’s somewhere you know you wanna be, maybe that’s where you should be

Cosmo: It’s not that simple

Cosmo: and it shouldn’t be

Amber: What’s ever simple? Unless you’re a 👶🏽

Cosmo: Exactly

Cosmo: I can’t just do what I want, because I want to, not me

Amber: that doesn’t mean what you want isn’t important, because you feel like you can’t act on it

Cosmo: It is less important than what I need to do

Cosmo: what I’m going to

Amber: you need to get right with the things you’re ignoring, before it fucks you up

Cosmo: Don’t lecture me

Amber: I’m not trying to

Cosmo: The things I’m ignoring would fuck me up, it’s not the other way round

Amber: I’m sorry

Cosmo: Whatever, you don’t know what you’re talking about, so it doesn’t matter

Amber: Maybe because I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re being deliberately vague

Cosmo: I’m not going to explain it

Amber: because…?

Cosmo: If you can’t work it out then you don’t need to know

Cosmo: Forget about it

Amber: It’s not a game and we’re not 👶🏽 if you think I should know something, communicate it to me

Cosmo: I don’t want to

Amber: you can’t put the blame on me if you won’t when you know I hate assumptions

Amber: you’re fucking confusing, I could be wrong

Cosmo: You’re more confusing

Amber: No I’m not

Cosmo: You fucking are

Amber: I’m trying to get you to get rid of any confusion!

Cosmo: You’re trying to mediate like you’re a fucking life coach

Amber: I said earlier that’s not what I’m trying to do

Cosmo: You can’t fix my life

Cosmo: why do you think it even needs fixing

Amber: not your life, the night you were having

Amber: it escalated how things usually do with us

Cosmo: I don’t even have a temper

Amber: Maybe it is my fault, and this is another of those I don’t know I’m doing it or can’t help it moments

Cosmo: That’s not what I meant

Cosmo: You do make me angry, frustrated really

Cosmo: I just meant I’m not usually, I wasn’t blaming you

Amber: But what I mean is, I’m used to having to fix things, because they’re already so chaotic, if I didn’t at least try…

Amber: making my parents happy is like, what I’m here for

Cosmo: It isn’t

Cosmo: it shouldn’t be

Amber: It’s not your turn to try and fix how my life is going

Cosmo: If you live for your parents’ happiness, you’re gonna be miserable, trust me

Amber: everyone has a role within their family, I’m the glue in mine

Cosmo: Yeah, everyone does, they’re your mum and dad and your their kid, nothing more

Amber: I don’t wanna make you angry, or frustrated, we should just drop it

Cosmo: Drop what?

Amber: any conversation thread about my parents and the misery you think they’re causing me

Cosmo: Right, you don’t like it when it’s on you

Amber: I don’t like that all you do is run them down

Cosmo: I don’t, you take offence on their behalf ‘cos you know I’m not wrong and clearly some of the ways they treat you are

Amber: You do and I take offense because it's offensive

Cosmo: What have I ever said directly about them?

Cosmo: Fuck all

Amber: I don't want to do this, I said that

Cosmo: You’ve got to say your piece and now we’re done

Cosmo: 👍

Amber: You've said plenty

Cosmo: Bullshit but you tell yourself that, Amber

Amber: If I'm looking back on this later, I'll probably be doing it to remind myself of all the times you've closed off a topic and I've shut up

Cosmo: I’ve stopped talking, the topic is closed and the conversation is over

Cosmo: Have a good night

Amber: Fine

Cosmo: [Question is do you think she would come over/go in his room now? Because she could be there when he gets back, like obvs he’d go sleep elsewhere but it could lead to them actually talking again in the AM when she realizes]

Amber: [I was thinking yeah if she gets drunk and/or high after this convo and especially now because my mischievous plan is that she could stick 9 glow in the dark stars in random hard to find spots in his room since everyone knows they are hard to remove and would annoy him and it's like good luck ignoring that dickhead lol]

Amber: [but would he be at his dad's house cos of it being the weekend?]

Cosmo: [Well I vibe it’s more of a choice now he’s basically an adult anyway he probably wants to spend his evenings with his gf now lbr so I don’t think it’s a stretch to say some weekends he comes home, and some week nights he might see his dad, WHICH REMINDS ME, if he’s in his last year of school, assuming Ireland’s schedule is anything like ours, he’s probably out of school on our timeline, maye some final exams to go in for]

Amber: [tea because clearly Dash is spending like no time at home or with his dad at this point and isn't being forced to unless it's a special occasion like the meet the gf roast and yeah that's a good point it is June so he probably is doing exams rn I wish I knew Ireland's vibe better than I do, I'm totally down for y'all to awkwardly see each other in the morning obvs that do be the shit I love]

Cosmo: [I’m sure it has to be roughly the same but it was worth noting that he’s basically out of school now ‘cos I just realized when we did socials, but exactly, I can’t see their dad making them, he’s not that kind of dad, but obviously they spend loads of football time together and that’s mainly it is honestly the vibe for everything anyway so]

Cosmo: [do you reckon she would have intended to fall asleep there or accidentally did, just nosy lol]

Amber: [definitely an accident and then it's like ! Because no idea if his fam are up and awake even though in my head it's early af]

Cosmo: [soz Ali deffo is even if Billie is having a lie-in lmao, also we know Cosmo is hungover but still has to be up of course]

Amber: [I just imagine Ali is outside so she can't leave via the window or she'll deffo be seen so trying to sneak downstairs and running into him like oh]

Cosmo: [and we’re not not smiling and asking ‘sleep well?’ which we genuinely mean even if we make it sound #bants to cover our surprise/state lmao]

Amber: [soz to you both that her angry face just makes her look adorable because she's genuinely frowning because she's fuming at you boy, but obvs raiding your fruit bowl or bread bin or whatever for an on the go breakfast because what are boundaries]are boundaries?]

Cosmo: [frowns back in what could definitely be construed as a pisstakey manner because doing it OTT but we’re actually feeling it too like what have I done? ‘Help yourself’ again we’re not like DON’T TAKE OUR FOOD BITCH really but it’s in the same tone as before]

Amber: [just the visual of her like peeling an orange or something in an angry manner is sending me tbh, just looking at him like do you have anything real you actually wanna say to me or nah]

Cosmo: [so amusant, just raising our eyebrows like how about you ‘cos you ain’t said shit, and going to make ourselves a protein shake or whatever the fuck]

Amber: [pours self a glass of juice or water, drinks it and washes and dries the cup all in a very deliberate and pointed silence like if you’re not gonna say sorry to me then I’m not gonna say anything, who is letting this teen girl date an old ass man in a bit]

Cosmo: [her permissive parents but can’t bring that up now, the dramatic silence as we just loudly blend this shit up lmao]

Amber: [you gotta go realistically gal but I can’t wait until he finds those really annoying glow in the dark stars lol]

Cosmo: [love that]

Amber: [is she finding out about the 2nd date because of him posting/getting tagged by Ruby on socials or have you got another way in mind? Because I was thinking maybe we should leave it until they’ve been on a few more so it’s more of a thing and they obviously aren’t just friends if that’s how]

Cosmo: [That’s kind of how I imagined it tbh, because there’s no need to talk about every date you go on but if you’re like exclusively dating someone then yeah you’ll have to mention that sooner or later lol]

Amber: [and definitely no need to for you to mention every date he goes on gal especially if you don’t know if it is a date or not because you’d look cray]

Cosmo: [I’m sure you don’t post them usually but it obvs seemed like that’s what Savannah wanted out of the exchange but looking at all his tagged like hmm no doubt lol but anyway, for now texting you a suitable amount of time later but deffo still AM just not immediately]

Cosmo: Are you seriously mad or what

Amber: What do you think

Cosmo: I don’t even know what I said, come on

Amber: Thanks for saying I could use your room, even if you don’t remember

Cosmo: I do remember

Cosmo: I didn’t expect you to be there still this morning but beside the point

Amber: Me either, I wasn’t planning on falling asleep, sorry

Cosmo: No, it’s fine

Cosmo: I offered you a place to stay, I just thought you wouldn’t

Amber: maybe I shouldn’t have but it felt like a good idea last night

Cosmo: Why not?

Cosmo: You got breakfast and a bed to yourself, can’t be all bad

Amber: I thought you’d be in your fancier postcode, it’s your bed and the missing ingredients in that loud blender

Cosmo: I debated it but it was easier to come back here

Cosmo: I can live without my bed and some 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍌🍇🍓🍒🍑🥝

Cosmo: otherwise I wouldn’t have offered

Amber: I won’t launch into a speech about the life saving benefits of 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍌🍇🍓🍒🍑🥝 before you’ve had much more ☕️ you can relax

Cosmo: Wasn’t going on a starbs run

Cosmo: but I’ve got a keep cup for if I do so you can forgive me

Amber: For that, I do forgive you, sure

Cosmo: Well, I’m not gonna beg

Cosmo: Stay in a strop if you’re gonna be like this

Amber: Because I've not done any pouting at you, but I'm not gonna when you like it so much

Cosmo: Shut up I do not

Amber: 😶 But you’re lying

Cosmo: And you’re being moody so it’s 1-1 as far as anti-⭐️s

Amber: I’m not calling another new truce until you start being nicer to me

Cosmo: I’ve not got time to be nice to you this morning

Cosmo: but I wasn’t mean to you anyway, don’t start that again

Amber: Yes you were, but we can talk about it when you’re ready to admit that’s true

Cosmo: For fuck’s sake

Cosmo: Can’t you just be normal? There’s no point having a row over nothing

Amber: if that’s what’s normal, no

Cosmo: What did I actually say that was so upsetting then

Amber: You’re just so stubbornly confrontational

Cosmo: I didn’t say I was perfect

Cosmo: and who are you to call me stubborn

Amber: not knowing who I am to you is a different conversation

Cosmo: You aren’t someone who I’m going to change my entire personality for

Cosmo: no one is

Amber: I don’t want to be that person, but I also don’t wanna be someone who apparently does nothing but annoy you

Cosmo: You’re the one calling me a horrible person, and you get to be mad?

Cosmo: I never said that was all you did, it isn’t

Amber: You’re not a horrible person, you have horrible communication skills and you make me feel like getting under your skin is all I do

Cosmo: Well I don’t think you’re great either

Amber: Petty but clearly true

Cosmo: I don’t know how you think lecturing me more is going to fix anything

Amber: your ignoring it method isn’t going to either

Cosmo: So

Cosmo: are you gonna talk to me and try something that might or what

Amber: Not if you don’t have time, you’re already mad at me, it’ll be worse if I ruin your schedule again

Cosmo: You make me sound like a 👹

Amber: the grumpiest 🐐 maybe

Cosmo: didn’t you say you don’t like the goats?

Cosmo: rude

Amber: 🐓 then, some of them get really 😠

Cosmo: Just call me a dickhead, alright

Cosmo: what animal do you reckon you are then

Amber: Which sea creature is the most irritating?

Cosmo: Jellyfish, I’d say

Cosmo: or some spiky shell thing you accidentally stand on

Amber: You do always accidentally upset me, accurate

Cosmo: You’re skulking about under the sand where I’m trying to paddle

Amber: ask yourself why you’re not noticing me, boy

Cosmo: you’re covered in sand, girl

Amber: You’ve seen me covered in sand before

Cosmo: don’t tread on me as a motto is already taken, sorry

Amber: I’ll think of something

Cosmo: Let me know

Amber: but don’t wait up, you looked like you didn’t sleep as well as me

Cosmo: I appreciate the concern

Cosmo: I’m gonna sweat it out

Amber: I did earlier 🧘🏽‍♀️

Cosmo: You better have cleaned up after yourself

Cosmo: You were in my room not his, remember

Amber: it’s not something I’d forget

Cosmo: the smell is better

Amber: and you don’t have 🕷🕸

Cosmo: Are you scared of them?

Amber: not when I’m in this country, but cobwebs getting stuck in my hair isn’t what I want out of a study spot

Cosmo: 😏 fair enough I reckon

Amber: Are you?

Cosmo: No, not really, there’s plenty around here so they don’t bother me

Amber: I’ll have to leave something other than a rubber spider in your bed, I’ll think about that too, I guess

Cosmo: If you wanna talk about petty

Amber: 😂 I don’t if you’re gonna talk about me

Cosmo: 😶 then

Amber: But really, you won’t even know I was ever there

Cosmo: I’m not worried

Amber: because I did such a good job before, it wasn’t Dash cleaning up what was supposed to be his room

Cosmo: Tah

Amber: I like to leave places how I found them, and your room is nice

Cosmo: ⭐️ for you

Amber: don’t give me sarcastic ⭐️

Cosmo: don’t talk about it, we’ve already agreed

Amber: I’m not talking about it

Cosmo: 👍

Amber: 😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

Cosmo: I need my hands now anyway, so I’ll talk to you in a bit

Amber: okay

Cosmo: [send a gym selfie like proof like you absolutely do not need to we see you]

Amber: [The levels she would be dying because that's only the 2nd selfie he's ever sent so not expecting that and we all know what he's looking like]

Amber: It's too early for you to be non sarcastically ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Cosmo: The schedule disagrees

Cosmo: and doesn’t stop for a hangover either

Amber: Is sending me selfies part of your schedule now? 😁

Cosmo: even I have time for a click and send

Cosmo: so if you like, sure 🤣

Amber: terms of the truce

Cosmo: okay

Cosmo: what do I get?

Amber: What do you want?

Cosmo: Hmm

Cosmo: What do I think is equal to a 🤳 a day

Amber: I could make you breakfast that’s actually edible

Cosmo: Hey, my breakfast is edible

Cosmo: Not exciting, but definitely edible 😏

Amber: Well, when you want exciting, I can give you that

Cosmo: Alright

Cosmo: You owe me

Amber: tomorrow?

Cosmo: Tomorrow, alright

Amber: practice your not hating it face

Cosmo: you’re the one who can’t control her face

Amber: What?! Yes I can

Cosmo: Bollocks can you 😂

Cosmo: You’re beyond an open book

Amber: maybe that’s how I am around you because I don’t like it when you misunderstand me

Cosmo: I’m not complaining

Amber: I’m only gonna accept constructive criticism after you’ve eaten, anything else is getting pouted at

Cosmo: Generous

Cosmo: as you think I love it so much

Amber: I want us to be friends again, obviously

Cosmo: Me too

Cosmo: so I won’t make you pout before breakfast, promise

Amber: and I won’t say that sounds too good to be true

Cosmo: Have faith, like

Amber: in you or me?

Cosmo: 🤔

Cosmo: Both

Amber: 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Cosmo: Do you believe in anything like that?

Amber: I don’t know, sometimes

Amber: but at other times it feels like wishful thinking

Cosmo: I get you

Amber: What about you?

Cosmo: I think I do, yeah

Cosmo: Plenty of things in my life make it so I kinda have to

Amber: that makes sense

Cosmo: It does?

Amber: it’s a realistic reason to believe in something, which means it’s a very you reason

Cosmo: Well you either believe because you need the hope or you feel #blessed, right?

Amber: I think so

Cosmo: and we all know which one I am

Amber: Likewise

Cosmo: I haven’t got Beckham level tattoos or anything though, just FYI

Amber: not yet anyway, but when you turn 18, right?

Cosmo: Totally, full sleeve ASAP

Amber: Everyone really would start calling me a bad influence

Cosmo: I don’t know who’s 👀 and 📢

Amber: A LOT of people have their eye on you, football star

Cosmo: Just my feet

Amber: it’s a very painful place to be tattooed, you’d wanna go easier on yourself for the first time unless you’re trying to put yourself off

Cosmo: I guess I’ll keep my 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 off my body and to myself then

Amber: how humble of you

Cosmo: Not really, I’ve not exactly got his body for it

Amber: You’ve got yours which I have 👀 and could 📢 about

Cosmo: Ha, shut up

Amber: Because I don’t wanna embarrass you, not because it’s untrue

Cosmo: There’s every need for protein shakes, tall = good but scrawny never is

Amber: but you’re not, you showed me the proof earlier

Amber: 💪🏽⭐️

Cosmo: I try

Cosmo: Anyway, what are you doing today?

Amber: I’m on my way to a friend’s house, she’s sick so I’m gonna stay with her until her mama gets off work later tonight

Cosmo: That’s nice

Cosmo: you offering your food services and making her 🥣?

Amber: I made soup before I left but I don’t know if I’ll be eating it by myself

Cosmo: Won’t say I’m now wondering how bad a cook you are

Amber: shh, she was throwing up BEFORE

Cosmo: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Amber: and hopefully not contagious either, or I’ll raincheck breakfast

Cosmo: your mum not have masks?

Amber: of course and I always have one with me if I’m sick but isn’t it rude to arrive like 😷 when she is and I’m there to take her mind off it?

Cosmo: Potentially

Cosmo: let me know if you’re dying then

Amber: maybe crossing myself will work

Cosmo: do you know the patron saint of sick people?

Amber: I don’t, but now I’m gonna find out

Cosmo: You should

Cosmo: there’s usually some specific ritual you have to do, you’d like it

Amber: If you don’t hear from me again it’s because there’s so many patron saints and I’m still trying to research them all

Cosmo: If she’s not up for being decent company, you’re welcome

Amber: ⚽️ has one! Did you know?

Cosmo: Didn’t but not surprised

Cosmo: tell me

Amber: There wasn’t anyone representing you until 2010, I don’t really understand why this specific man was chosen, it says because he represents values that are developed through sport like fairness, determination etc and he’s linked to youth, but in his life he was running orphanages and a school for deaf-mute girls, nothing to do with ⚽️

Cosmo: I can kinda see it

Cosmo: the academies are a bit like orphanages

Cosmo: that’s cool

Amber: that’s a sad idea, worse than when I pictured the hunger games

Cosmo: Not me

Cosmo: it’s a well-known poverty out for working-class kids

Cosmo: posh boys don’t play football

Amber: Oh, maybe that is the connection they were going for

Cosmo: God knows

Amber: what do posh boys play?

Cosmo: Rugby, golf, tennis…

Cosmo: most everything that they think is ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ and not too physical and classless

Amber: Crazy golf does look fun though, we should do it next

Amber: ⛳️🤡

Cosmo: We don’t have to wear the get-up of actual golf

Cosmo: I’m down

Amber: 🥺 I was looking forward to seeing you in it!

Cosmo: 😏

Cosmo: okay, okay, I will if you can

Cosmo: [god I hope I have a photo that works lmao]

Amber: I’ll figure it out, I’m friends with a LOT of preppy 🤓s

Cosmo: You are halfway there yourself, checks out 🤓

Amber: You’re lucky I’m back in a good mood

Cosmo: 😁

Amber: but I won’t be if you can’t fit me in soon

Cosmo: I doubt we can do that before school

Amber: Don’t worry, I won’t use my pout to force you to skip school

Cosmo: Not this close to being done

Cosmo: Definite bad influence behaviour

Amber: 👼🏽

Cosmo: I don’t want to fail now

Cosmo: even if it doesn’t really matter

Cosmo: still be embarrassing

Amber: Not wanting to fail is enough of a reason, even if you do have a safety net that technically means you’ll be fine

Amber: so if I have to miss you for a while and make do with your promised daily selfie, it’s okay, I’ll stop myself sending any distracting pics back

Cosmo: ** dream job, not safety net

Cosmo: You’re gonna miss me?

Amber: You’re, like, my favourite person to hang out with, I know I’ve essentially told you that before

Cosmo: I guess I’m not used to hearing it put so honestly

Amber: it sounds like you need better friends besides me

Cosmo: oh yeah, my friends are definitely the sort for deep and meaningfuls 🤣

Cosmo: I’m alright for them telling me they love me or whatever tah

Amber: You’re welcome that I came through your window

Cosmo: Your loss for not giving me the chance to thank you properly

Amber: maybe, but my walk is over and now I’ve got nursing to do

Amber: you’ll have to take the opportunity thank me over breakfast

Cosmo: Bright and early then, hippie

Amber: Should I use the door for once?

Cosmo: If you’re not painting a red cross on yours, yeah, you should

Amber: I’ll think of a secret knock to do 9 times, giving you plenty of time to do it yourself, put on a mask or say a prayer

Cosmo: I’ll be ready

Amber: Have a good day and night

Cosmo: Nerd

Amber: bringing 📚 is a just in case thing that I’m not gonna apologise for 👋🏽

[simkjrs]

fic: see you in the dark

chapter ii: remember to be conPSIentious of your powers!

saiki kusuo no psi nan x worm | saiki kusuo & taylor hebert | 3k

------

It turns out that Hebert can look after herself, and bugs are a terrifying weapon. I stopped watching after she started going for the privates. It seems that for all the mythos that surrounds him, Lung is still weak in all the normal places.

It sure takes some guts to aim for the crotch of the most notorious gang member in the city, Hebert. I underestimated you.

The next school day, Hebert shows up barely any worse for wear. Good for her. There she goes back to her locker with her head down. There goes one of the bullies trying to trip her. You know she took down a notorious gang leader this weekend? Just what do you think you’re going to achieve? She could crush you in an instant.

<Endure it, Taylor. Don’t retaliate. You’re better than them.>

... Well, it’s not as funny when I have to hear her thinking like that all day.

She’s so responsible about using her powers it’s honestly depressing. She refuses to use her abilities against any of her bullies because it would be unfair, and it’s wrong to use your powers like that, or something. It’s really not, Hebert. I use my powers for personal gain all the time. You should do something about the “Trio” already so I can stop tying their shoelaces together when they try to approach.

Hebert closes her locker door and raises her head as I’m walking. We make eye contact. Hey. Are you okay? That’s an impressively dead look on your face. Your eyes are almost as dull as mine. — Nevermind, they’ve brightened the tiniest bit. Why.

“Good morning, Saiki.”

Good morning. I nod cordially at her. Social interaction of the day achieved, I continue walking to the next classroom.

— Tch, those annoyances are approaching again.

Not that it’s my business, since Hebert seems determined to handle the situation by herself, but the universe ought to give her a break. She just took down a notorious gang leader. Give her some breathing room. I’ll just backtrack a few steps and tap Hebert on the shoulder.

Hebert blinks at me. “What is it?”

I jerk a thumb over my shoulder, turn, and walk away down the hall. After a moment of hesitation she follows me down the corridor, just in time to avoid Barnes and her cronies spotting us by the lockers.

<That was good timing. If I’d stayed there, Emma would have come to bother me again. — Wait, did Saiki know she was coming? Is that why he called me here?>

Stop being perceptive. I forgot you could keep an eye out on everything with your bugs. Tch, it goes to show I shouldn’t poke my nose in where I’m not needed. Now I have to come up with an excuse.

I turn around to face Hebert.

<His expression is as serious as ever. I can never tell what he’s thinking.> Good, let’s keep it that way. <It seems like he had something to talk about, after all. Guess it was just lucky timing.>

I reach into my pocket and pull out a piece of paper, etching onto it with thoughtography as I do. Hebert unfolds it, eyes flicking across the page.

“You want to study together this weekend?”

<Is he serious?> You don’t have to sound so disbelieving. Just say no if you don’t want to. That would be more convenient for me, too, since this is just a random excuse. <Do we even share any classes besides Parahuman Studies? What’s he getting out of this?> Absolutely nothing, so it’s okay to turn me down. <He doesn’t feel sorry for me, does he?> Anyone normal would feel sorry for you if they saw what a daily ordeal your school life is. Don’t take it so personally. — Actually, feel free to. Hurry up and say no already. <I don’t need his pity. If he feels sorry for me, then he should help me do something about the Trio.> See? There you go.

<But I shouldn’t burn any bridges unnecessarily. He’s the only one to reach out to me after Emma started her bullying campaign.> Wait, no. Stop being reasonable. Go back to the prideful paranoia. You’re not doing me any favors, here. <Besides, it’s possible he just wants a friend, too.> Absolutely not, who do you think I am?

“Okay, that’s fine.” <If he wants to hang out, I guess it couldn’t hurt.> “Where do you want to meet?”

What did I just say.

<Why does he have such a pinched look on his face. Was this a pity thing or a prank after all?>

Good grief.

I indicate with pen on paper that I would like to meet at the public library on Saturday. She asks if 2pm is fine, and if it’s okay for her to leave early, because she has business to take care of. By which she means parahuman business. I really don’t want to hear what bad ideas she’s going to get up to, so let’s just move the conversation along for now.

“Okay,” says Hebert. “What’s your phone number? I’ll call you if anything comes up.” <Like if I have to go out in costume earlier than anticipated.>

Ugh. This is why you shouldn’t have said yes, Hebert. I write on the paper.

“You don’t have a phone?” <Huh. Didn’t think there was anyone in the same boat as me.> “That’s fine. A landline is okay too.”

Damn it.

“You don’t have one of those either?” <What kind of place is he living in…?>

Please don’t start questioning my living conditions. I’ll just write something down to alleviate her concerns.

“Oh, an apartment without a landline?” <And no cellphone on top of that. It must be hard.> No, it’s perfectly fine. I don’t want anyone contacting me. “Then I’ll email you if anything comes up. Is that fine?”

I nod.

“Alright. I have to get to class now, but thanks, Saiki. I’ll see you in Parahuman Studies.”

<It’s strange that he doesn’t have any kind of phone at all, though. Is everything okay financially? His clothes seem fine, but you never know…>

What a pain. Looks like I’ll have to take additional steps to integrate into this world, so I won’t draw suspicion so easily. Acquiring fake IDs was already annoying enough, and now this too?

You may be wondering why I procured myself some ID papers. It’s because I needed it to register for school. But why would an esper like myself bother enrolling in school again, when no one in this universe had to know I existed?

It’s true, I could have had complete freedom of time if I hadn’t committed to school. But you can only read books alone in your house for so long before you start to get bored. It was nice to have a few weeks by myself, but it felt weird not having a school routine.

Going to school keeps me somewhat occupied and reminds me what it’s like to have people around. To be clear, I didn’t register for school because I wanted company. I’m already so different from normal human beings that spending time with humans doesn’t mean anything. It’s like asking if you’d prefer spending time with a monkey in the next room over or not. I’m just here because I’m bored and I like to stick to my habits.

School comes with its own share of annoyances, although they’re much more serious than the gag series I’ve spent most of my life living. It’s none of my business, but if things keep being this bothersome, I might have to do something about it soon.

Hopefully Kuusuke will hurry up and find me soon so I can stop getting dragged into the circumstances of this world.

——

Hebert isn’t in Parahuman Studies. It only takes a quick skim of the minds near me to find out why.

“Oh, Saiki, it looks like Hebert ditched you today. Too bad. She’s such a horrible partner to work with, isn’t she?” Your words wouldn’t be the least bit convincing even if I didn’t know you were the one who made her upset enough to leave campus, Barnes. “If you want, you can sit with us to work.”

She smiles at me in what she thinks is a charming manner. I can’t tell, since right now she just looks to me like a diagram of the human muscular structure you’d find in a medical book. <Take the hint. Taylor isn’t worth your time.> What does that make you. Chopped liver? <I wouldn’t pay attention to him if not for the fact that he’s Taylor’s assigned partner. If I can lure him away from her, she’ll be devastated. We could even keep him in the group afterwards. I mean, once you look past those weird green glasses, even though he seems plain at first glance, he’s got a nice face.> No thanks. <It’d be better if he didn’t have such a blank expression all the time, though.>

Get a full load of my blank expression, then.

<This silence is dragging on too long. Is he.... judging me?>

Took you long enough to notice.

“It’s rude not to respond,” Barnes says.

I stare dispassionately at Barnes until she shifts uncomfortably. <Maybe Sophia was right.> “What, can you not speak or something?”

Sure, let’s go with that setting. I give her a disdainful look. Obviously.

<Why are you looking at me like that?! I’m one of the most popular, pretty girls in the school!> Is that so? I couldn’t tell from how rotten your inner self is. “Sorry, I didn’t realize,” Barnes says faux-apologetically. “How was I supposed to know if you didn’t even make an effort to tell me, though? Can’t you write, at least?”

How annoying.

“Did you just click your tongue at me?”

I’m hurt you would ever accuse me of such a thing. I write in my notebook and slide it across the desk towards her.

“You’re not interested in working with anyone? But you’re working with Hebert.”

Flat stare.

“--Oh, she was assigned to you. Right.”

<Hey, doesn’t that mean this guy is a total loner-type? Come to think of it, he didn’t do anything the other day when we were confronting Taylor, either.> Confronting? Is that what you call it? <All he did was look annoyed when we started talking to him. Ahaha, what a piece of work. He doesn’t care about Taylor at all.> I don’t want to hear that from you. <I don’t even have to do anything and he’ll leave her alone, too. But still…>

“My friends and I can still help you finish your work more quickly, though. Then you’ll have more time to yourself in class.”

<...It’ll be more satisfying if I’m the one behind it.>

How unpleasant. I emphatically tap the word “anyone” written on the page.

“Come on, you can’t go through school without making friends with anyone.” Try me. “It’s better to choose your friends early. You don’t want to get caught up by the wrong crowd.” Somehow, I don’t think your crowd is the right one, either.

Thanks for your concern, I write, but I can take care of myself.

Barnes purses her lips. “Well, if you’re sure,” she says in a tone of voice that clearly says she doesn’t believe me. “But the invitation is open if you ever change your mind, ‘kay?”

She smiles at me before making her way back to her group of friends.

<Let’s see if we can’t arrange for him to learn what this school is like…>

What are you, a delinquent gang leader? I never thought I’d miss the days of PK Academy, but it would be so much less troublesome if the worst personality anyone here had was being a tad too obsessed with romance.

Not that it matters. Whatever Barnes tries, it’s not like there’s anything in this world that could touch me.

——

Because Barnes and her coterie were laughing about it in their heads all period, it’s easy to find the dumpster in the back of the school where they tossed Hebert’s backpack.

It stinks out here, and Hebert’s textbooks are all ripped up. Her art project is smashed to pieces, too. Barnes sure didn’t hold back.

The backpack and textbooks are easy enough to restore to their original state. The art project is a different matter. Checking it with my psychometry, it seems Hebert didn’t finish it until late last night. My restoration ability only reverts an object to its state from twenty four hours before; if I turn back the clock on the art project right now, it’ll be restored to a state from before she completed it. I’ll have to wait to restore it until later tonight.

So here I am, lying on my bed with Hebert’s stuff tossed by all my books. What to do. I could drop it off outside her house, but if I do it anonymously it’ll raise all kinds of questions and if I do it in person I’ll have to explain how I knew where she lives. I could just hand it off to her at school, but…

I have a sudden, horrible vision of Hebert thinking that we’re friends, and immediately reject that path. Absolutely not.

I’ll just put her backpack in her locker so she’ll find it before class. That’ll also raise all kinds of questions, but way less than finding it outside her house.

Now, as for the other problem…

Barnes and her friends are popular, and they’ve got plenty of people who are willing to do them a favor. Annoyingly enough, Barnes’ network has talked about me enough in front of the right people that in a couple days, the ABB members at Winslow will start trying to recruit me. What a pain. And I’ve put in so much effort to fly below their radar, too.

It’d be easy to rebuff any attempt to recruit me, but that would just attract attention. Worse, if I show my skill, that might be even more motivation for them to keep trying. I’ll have to think of a way to avert the recruitment without making myself stand out.

That’s a problem for later, though. Right now, I’m more irritated that Barnes has caused this much of a problem for me, just because she wants to get at Hebert. Since recruitment usually starts off with friendly overtures, all she has to do is swoop in and pretend I’m solidly part of her friend group already to ward off any recruitment attempts, and then they’ll usually leave well enough alone. And then I’ll be so grateful for her help saving me from the big, bad ABB that I’ll actually consider her a friend… Not.

If she’d left me alone, I might not have done anything, but I won’t hold back now that she’s getting me involved.

Time to take her down.

——

The reason Barnes can get away with what she does is because of Shadow Stalker’s influence with the school administration. That means to dismantle the power structure, I have to knock Hess down.

First, let’s use thoughtography to create photos of the worst moments of bullying I’ve seen, with my clairvoyance or otherwise. Here’s one of Hess stomping on Hebert’s backpack. One of her pouring juice on Hebert with Barnes. One of… you know what, describing this is just depressing. The readers don't want to slog through a litany of events that'll make them lose faith in humanity. Just trust that I’ve captured some truly unpleasant moments.

Second, I’ll use my clairvoyance to look around in the school office for the budget records, and copy them down with thoughtography, too. Hm, quite a difference between what they’re actually doing and what they’ve reported. I’m sure the PRT will be delighted to learn this.

Third, I’ll make a map of Hess’ stashes of definitely not approved crossbow ammo, discovered when I used clairvoyance on her the other day. That won’t be enough evidence by itself, but if I attach a list of victims, locations, and times, hopefully the PRT will be competent enough to put the pieces together. It’s not an exhaustive list, just what I learned from using psychometry on the bolts in her stash, but it should be enough.

Fourth, a list of things they should check: Hebert’s stint in the hospital, the communications between Hess’ handler and the school administration, Hess’ phone, and the unpleasant emails that Hebert gets every now and then.

And a note on top: Your Ward is misbehaving. Clean up your mess.

Yep. That is a nice, succinct message that will get my point across with absolutely no problems.

As if.

This is one of the most annoying aspects of this world: the sheer paranoia around parahumans. Back in my original universe, people ignore strange happenings more easily, because they don’t believe in powers. Here, though? Powers are real and a fact of life. If I tried to use my hypnosis or mind control powers here, one of those “Thinker” parahumans would probably notice right away. No matter how I send this packet of information to the PRT, they’ll definitely suspect parahuman involvement, since quite a lot of this information should have been secure. They’ll be paranoid for days. They might even take my note as a threat.

Oh well, it’s not my problem. As long as I deliver it cleverly, they won’t be able to trace anything back to me, and I don’t plan on getting involved with them again after this either. If they spend a few months paranoid about a possible new threat, that has nothing to do with me.

So how to make sure that the PRT properly pays attention to this information when I deliver it? If I send it through the official channels, who knows how long it will take, and if I’m not lucky it’ll get lost or Hess’ handler will manage to bury it before it goes anywhere. On the other hand, I’d rather not deliver it directly to the heroes, either.

Let’s just do it like this then.

Altogether, the worth of these papers is about four dollars. So is this keychain I picked up from the side of the street. I’ll just turn invisible and go to the Boardwalk and toss this keychain over to the PRT headquarters floating in the bay, and then I can use my apport ability to exchange the keychain for the papers so that the papers arrive properly at their front doorstep. It’ll arrive with enough dramatic flair to make sure it doesn’t get written off, and I don’t have to interact with anyone. Perfect.

I toss the keychain across the water, but when I check with my clairvoyance, I see the keychain sinking down in the water instead of safely landed on the doorstep of the PRT like I intended. I didn’t throw with enough force? Damn, I can’t use my telekinesis to retrieve the keychain either, because I can’t use any powers besides telepathy while I’m invisible. I’ll have to look for something nearby.

There, a cheap ring being sold at a street stall. My apologies to the vendor, I’m taking this. Back to the beach. This time, I’ll throw with a little more force—

CRACK. BOOM.

I stare at the fading afterimage of a now-broken forcefield.

Shit.

Nothing for it now. I dash back home as fast as I can, and as soon as my invisibility wears off I exchange the packet of papers with the ring.

The ring appears in my hand, no problem. There, delivery successful. Err. Looking with my clairvoyance, it seems that the papers are half-embedded in the wall of the headquarters where the ring had previously buried itself inches deep. My bad. The forcefield breaking is my fault, so I’ll take responsibility. I’ll just fix it with my restoration ability…

Ah, wait, but restoring an object also restores everything it touches. If I restore the headquarters now, my delivery will go back to being blank pieces of paper, and it’ll all have been for nothing. Damn it, I should’ve fixed the forcefield before apporting my delivery over… although that would have required me to wait for my invisibility to wear off at the Boardwalk. Maybe I can exchange the papers and the ring quickly, restore everything, and then exchange them back? — No good, people are coming to investigate the papers already. If I apport right in front of them it might just make them panic more.

Good grief. I’ve made quite a mess for myself.

I’ll just have to make sure to fix the forcefield tomorrow… I’m sure it’s fine… They can live without their forcefield for twenty-four hours…

Oh, would you look at that, it’s just about time to restore Hebert’s art project. I’ll just go do that and put everything back in her locker.

Well, as long as that works out, hopefully today won’t be a lost cause.

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 157

Chapter Summary - Danielle and Tom finish their holiday on the south coast and return to London in time for Wimbledon and minding Lucy, which means informing his family.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

Copyright for the photo is the owners, not mine. All image rights belong to their owners

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1 @black-ninja-blade

Danielle and Tom spent the last few hours of their holiday in the house tidying the last of everything and grinning like two fools at their getting engaged. For her part, Danielle was studying the ring constantly with a wide smile on her face while Tom was finding excuses to cease his own work and go and kiss her again.

They decided to ensure that Diana was told as soon as possible, with Emma and Sarah also getting the news but they wanted to tell them face to face and that required them not being spotted with Danielle having the ring on her hand until the following day when she would be caring for Lucy with Diana, so they stayed inside or only had Tom do something that risked being seen, as a few people had ascertained they were in Southampton or the surrounding area by their going to a show in the city that week. James would have to be told also but he had made it clear to call when Tom asked and to come to visit when they had time after so Tom called his father, who gave hearty congratulations and swore he would say nothing should Emma or Sarah contact him.

The drive back to London was only two and a half hours and reluctantly, they forced themselves and their dogs back to the urban jungle, making comment on the notable difference in temperature from the breezy seaside on their arrival. Bobby and Mac availed of the cool tiled floor of the back room turned laundry room to assist them with the heat as Danielle and Tom unpacked.

Snaking his arms around her, Tom kissed the side of Danielle's neck. “We need some shopping, I better make a list and go.”

“It will be here between six and eight,” Danielle informed him. “I ordered it while you were in the shower this morning. Nothing too mad, dinner, breakfast, a nice wine…Tom…” She could not help but giggle as Tom leant in against her, kissing her and rubbing himself against her ass. “Behave.”

“Not possible.”

“You'd think the terrifying prospect of being stuck with me for the remainder of your time on this planet would be a deterrent to amorous thoughts.” She commented.

“On the contrary, I think it a wonderful realisation and one I have every intention of enjoying,” He stated, kissing her again.

“Insatiable,” She smiled before moving away from him, much to Tom's displeasure. “I think we should take this…”

Tom smirked before rushing past her, taking her by the hand and bringing her upstairs eagerly.

*

“Ready?” Danielle asked as they arrived at Emma's home.

Tom was due at Wimbledon soon but he wanted to be there when his family realised what had occurred in the week after their departure, so he left early to drop Danielle, knowing that his mother had stayed the night before to make sure she was up to date with Lucy's routine, as well as let Emma get ready unmolested by her daughter.

Jack was the one to open the door, making comment of the heat and the fact that he would boil alive in the suit as they entered over the threshold while they did so and commenting on Tom having to be in the sun for hours in his own suit.

Tom and Danielle joked and laughed with him for a moment before heading into the kitchen, Jack talking to Tom about the final of the tennis and Anderson and Djokovic's chances. The pair spoke of the tennis as they walked into the kitchen, where Danielle had put on the kettle and had begun making tea.

As though the click of the kettle turning off at its boiling was some manner of beacon, Emma walked into the room, curlers in her hair and her makeup half done. She gave a large smile to her brother and her friend. “Jack, could you heat a bottle?”

“Don't you want to feed her before we leave?” Her husband asked.

“I haven't time to sit still now and do that. I will pump in a while,” She declared rushing off.

“She is not fussing yet, Love, let her wait until you're finished your doing your face and feed her before you put on your dress.” Her mother suggested from the hallway, holding Lucy while Emma rushed around.

“Yeah, okay,” Addled, Emma stared at her brother for a moment. “What?”

“Nothing.” Tom smirked back.

Worried, Emma looked at Danielle who was looking displeased. “Elle, am I…?”

“Don't mind that eejit, you know him and tennis,” Danielle dismissed. “You just need to get finished and get some breakfast.” She ordered, handing a mug of herbal tea that Emma was taking to assist her milk supply to her friend.

Emma smiled gratefully and took the mug before rushing off again.

Tom checked his watch and noted he needed to leave in the next fifteen minutes if he was to get to Wimbledon on time. Giving Danielle a small nod, she decided to do as they had planned.

As she went to talk to Emma again, she saw her friend walking towards her in a dressing gown, ready to put on her dress after having something to eat and feeding Lucy.

Jack got something for Emma while she prepared Lucy to feed, including a nursing muslin cloth. “She actually prefers being under it,” Emma shrugged.

“It's your scent.” Danielle explained nonchalantly. “You have it against your skin and she can smell that.”

“What book did you read that in?” Jack asked, slightly confused as to how Danielle could ever know such a thing.

“Can't remember, I think it was that breastfeeding booklet you got from the nurse.”

“Why did you read what?” He laughed.

“Lucy was asleep and Emma was in the shower.” Danielle shrugged.

“You're just jealous she knows more about this than you.” Emma jested with her husband causing them to laugh a bit before she noticed a small glint as Danielle took a drink of her tea. She focused on Danielle's hand for a moment, specifically because she could not recall her friend ever wearing rings before she realised she knew the ring from somewhere. It then occurred to her that it was on a particular finger on a particular hand. She gasped loudly startling everyone, especially Lucy. “Oh, my God!” She cried out causing Lucy to stop feeding and begin to whimper in shock.

“Em?” Jack asked, completely confused as to why his wife made such a declaration. “Are you okay?”

Emma could hardly hear her husband's words, instead she focused on her brother's proud smile. “You...you did, didn't you?” She squealed. Tom and Danielle merely grinned back. “MUM!!!!!”

Diana had been in the bathroom when Emma shrieked first, but the callout caused the older woman to rush to the kitchen. “What happened? Lucy?”

“Lucy is fine Mum, Emma is just excited because...well,” he looked at Danielle and smiled lovingly as she did the same to him. “She just realised that Elle and I are engaged.”

Diana have a slight gasp before her hand went to her mouth. “You're not joking with me, are you, Tom, I am warning you, do not be joking with me.” His mother threatened.

“It’s no joke, Mum. She has Nan's ring.” He showed his mother Danielle's hand.

“That's where I know it.” Emma recalled. “How come you have it?”

“Because I was the only boy.” He stated proudly. “The rule was to keep it in the Hiddleston family, that was granddad's rule.”

Emma shrugged as she recalled her paternal grandfather being stern regarding rules. “So this is real, you actually are engaged?”

“Yes, matron of honour.” Danielle grinned at her friend.

“Damn hormones.” Emma wiped her eyes as she cried. “I am happy, I swear.”

Danielle and Tom laughed at her before looking to Diana again, going over to her worriedly. “Mum?”

Diana was weeping also. “So you get me to stop badgering you, saying it is not something to consider for another two or three years and you ask only a month later?”

“I didn't want her to feel pressured.” Tom admitted. “And I wanted to make it a surprise.” Diana pulled him to her.

“Where? Tell me everything,” she insisted going over and embracing Danielle who stood up to hug her.

“There's nothing to it really, we went for a walk up the cliffs yesterday, we talked about the future, I took out the ring and I asked her and thankfully, she said yes.” Tom recapped.

Diana beamed, elated at the news before looking at Danielle again. “Who would have thought seven years ago when you were sitting looking lost and scared in my living room that this would happen? Now, look at us all. We'll be busy today now.”

“I knew you'd say that.” Danielle laughed, wiping a tear from her eye.

Diana cupped her face and looked at her lovingly before hugging her tightly. “So, what did your father say when you asked for the ring?” She inquired.

“Nothing much really, told me to get it sized properly and to get a good box.”

“Nothing else?” Diana rarely spoke to her ex-husband, they were amiable when at an event with their children or grandchildren but otherwise they were not two to mingle much.

“He asked me to tell him when I asked, I've called him and we are taking him out for lunch on Sunday.”

“Good,” Diana always encouraged her children to be part of their father's life too.

“He also mentioned you doing the honours again,” Tom informed her with a smile, knowing his mother was wondering about that particular tidbit of information.

“Good, I will send it in for the weekend, do inform Luke as well, won't you?”

Tom nodded and noted Danielle looking at the pair worriedly, not sure of what they were referencing yet knowing it was engagement related so she looked at them concerned. “Mum wants to make an official announcement in the paper as she did with Sarah and Emma.”

“In the paper?”

“It's the done thing in these parts,” Tom explained.

Unsure and confused about the practice, Danielle simply nodded and decided not to bother herself too much about it.

“Can I tell Sarah?” Emma asked excitedly.

“I didn't tell her about your engagement.”

“Well, someone has to tell her before it gets out and she is working.” Diana stated.

“Video call.” Emma took out her phone and dialled her sister's number. A moment later, Sarah came up on screen.

“You're not backing out of the wedding, are you?” Sarah asked, half suspecting Emma to refuse to be away from Lucy, having had several conversations with her sister regarding such concerns while they were on holiday as well as since they returned.

“No, I'm nearly ready. Tom and Elle are here too.”

“Well, Elle is supposed to be helping Mum with Lucy so that's hardly…Emma, what are you crying about, you'll ruin your makeup.”

“I'm happy.”

“About?” Sarah felt as though it was pulling teeth to get Emma to make sense.

Emma walked over to Tom and Danielle who were sitting beside one another. Tom took the phone from Emma and lifted Danielle's hand to reveal the ring.

Sarah focused for a moment before her eyes went wide. “What!”

“Guess who's getting married next year.”

“No….No….Really? Really?” Her voice became more excited as she spoke.

“Really really, so don't say you weren't warned.” Tom chuckled.

“Congratulations!” She shrieked. “You two clearly had an interesting time after we left. I just...ah! So where are we talking, here or Ireland or somewhere else?”

“We haven't even started those discussions and it only happened yesterday so don't run away with ideas just yet.” Danielle explained. “You'll know when Diana starts the real madness.”

“I will not.” Diana dismissed. They all looked at her silently, all of them thinking back to Emma and Jack's wedding. “Oh, hush.”

“Well, I had best get to Wimbledon, so I better say goodbye and see you soon.” Tom rose to his feet and waved at the phone as he handed it back to Emma. “I better contact Luke in a while also.” He leant down and gave Danielle a chaste kiss. “Enjoy the day of indoctrinating a child in cycling.”

“Enjoy the day of watching two men hit a small ball back and forth.” She retorted playfully.

“You two, enjoy being human again.” He commented to Jack and Emma. “And Mum, please don't terrorise Danielle too much with wedding stuff.” He warned. “There's plenty of time and I don't want a text halfway through the day saying she has thought better of it.”

Though she looked disappointed, Diana nodded. “Fine, we will simply discuss a few things.”

“Behave, Mum,” Tom warned, grateful to be leaving, knowing g his mother would be excitedly overthinking about it all for the day. “Will I collect you this evening?” Tom asked Danielle.

“No, you're fine, have a glass of wine or whiskey or two for yourself,” Danielle smiled. “I will get a taxi back.”

With a nod, Tom gave his goodbyes and left.

“So, what are we thinking, Spring or Summer?” Emma asked, knowing that Danielle insisted the Irish idea of longer engagements was a better one.

“Summer?” Diana was less than impressed by such ideas. “That's far too far away.”

“Natalie Dormer has been engaged for about six years.” Danielle pointed out.

“That is not even funny.” Diana shook her head knowing that Danielle was purposely trying to irk her playfully. “In all of this, I notice you have said nothing, Jack.”

Jack finished the last of his tea and rose to finish getting ready. “I was with Tom when he got the ring resized at Christmas, I actually got bored of waiting for this little announcement, I thought he had chickened out of it.” He explained before leaving the room.

“Wait, Christmas?” Danielle asked, following Jack to the hallway, shocked that it had been so long planned.

“Yes, the day we had dinner out and we thought we had food poisoning, that day he sorted it.” He informed her. “He asked me to help think of a way to ask you when the time was right.”

Startled, Danielle could not think of anything to say in response.

[doof-doofblog]

"You Want A War?! You Got One!"

Tuesday 20th October 2020

Hello again folks! Hope you're having a good day so far! I really enjoyed writing about Monday's episode, I'm really hoping Tuesday's will be just as good. My plan was going to attempt two blog posts today but  I've decided it will be a lot easier for me to do one post a night. Seeing as I'm not working on Saturday, I can write up about Friday's episode then and follow tonight's episode tomorrow. That will leave me with next week not being behind, I hope I've not annoyed any of you with this, and I apologise in advance if I have. But I just want to do the best I can with this blog and I just want let to you guys know that I am still committed to do this 100% ... life just seems to get in the way sometimes. Anyway, let's jump right into Tuesday's episode and see what's going on in Walford!

The episode starts with Phil still reeling from the recent news he's learned about Ellie. Ben is adamant that his Dad shouldn't be going in with all guns blazing, he even asks his Dad if he wants him to go along. But Phil instructs his son to get things in the house ready for a 3 year old, as not matter what, he'll be bringing Raymond home! But something tells me, it's not going to be as simple as that! Is going to be walking into a war or a trap? We already know the Ellie was to blame for Raymond's parents passing away, what is she going to do next?

At the Beale household, Ian finds Peter and informs him that he has transferred some money into his account, not just his allowance but a little extra. Is he literally buying his son's silence?! I'd like to think Peter is smarter than that, maybe in time he'll come to realise that his Dad is lying to them all. As Ian leaves, Kathy can be seen doing her make-up, getting herself ready for her date with Iain. She confides in her Grandson that she's feeling nervous, more to the fact that the fella doesn't even know her real age. Peter tells his Gran not to worry and that the date will go smoothly. Just as Peter happens to mention the word "Date" - Bobby appears and is shocked to hear that his Gran is going out to meet some stranger, but I think the main issue is that he's upset she's going outside during a pandemic and after taking precautions during lockdown, she should be careful as she's vulnerable. Something tells me that this has something to do with Bobby's OCD storyline, recently he's been constantly reminding everybody to wash their hands and be careful, I might be jumping the gun here, but are EastEnders going to make Coronavirus a storyline? Meaning, is Kathy going to catch it while going on her date and become really unwell, or will Bobby end up getting it after being incredibly careful. Who knows? I could be completely wrong, but it would be an interesting outcome, don't you guys think?!

Meanwhile, in the Vic Stacey and Kat are cleaning whilst Lily sits and watches as she's playing on her tablet. This was a very interesting conversation between Stacey and Kat. Kat just happens to mention that she saw Ruby with a designer handbag that Martin has supposedly bought her for her birthday. Stacey seems a little upset by this news and she appears jealous as she mentions that the best presents that Martin ever bought her were a CD and paint! It's the next part which Lily seems to listen really closely too, she's obviously aware that her Mum is feeling sad about Martin and Ruby being together, but to let off some steam, Stacey will shout and probably say things that she doesn't mean, it's then she mentions Ruby having "Daddy issues" and she's had them ever since her Dad saved the wrong daughter in a house fire. Lily picks up on what her Mother has said, what is she going to do with this new information?!

At the Cafe, Habiba is eager to get Ash and Iqra on side to go to court with her to support Jags. Ash reveals that Suki and Kheerat are going and everyone thought it was best if no else went. Habiba is saddened to hear that Ash isn't doing anything to save her brother. Everyone knows that Jags is innocent, but no one is willing to tell the truth. Iqra offers to go with her sister for support, Habiba accepts and they both leave to head off to court.

In the Arches, Phil is looking that he's waiting for someone, checking his watch and the clock on the wall. Suddenly, Ellie walks in, personally, I feel there's going to be some kind of row going on, but Phil plays the sympathy/guilty card. Explaining that he knows everything regarding the car crash that Raymond's parents were in. He tries to convince her that Raymond would be better off with him and his family, he'll be safer - seeing as Ellie has put her Grandson's life in danger and what's going to stop her from doing it again?! Ellie then plays dirty, she scoffs at Phil's words, informing him that she has also done her homework and found out everything about Ben, Louise and even Dennis. Phil looks a little bit defeated that he's been caught out, but then Ellie changes her tune, she admits that she can see how much Raymond means to him, and she even goes on to say that she'll let Phil have him. Phil, however, does look a bit suspicious, what's the catch?! Oh - only £150,000! Ellie announces she'll let him have Raymond for 150 grand!!! How the hell is Phil going to find that kind of money?!

Meanwhile at the restaurant, Kathy is preparing herself for her date, she takes a deep breath and turns the corner to find a - dare I say - dashing gentleman waiting at a table. He spots her and he seems really happy to see her, clearly a little nervous but ever more happy to see her turn up. As Kathy takes a seat you can see she is also nervous, mainly due to the fact that the poor man isn't aware of her real age. He makes a point about going on dates and ending up being catfished, meaning that the person who turns up doesn't turn out to be who they make out they are online. Kathy can only give a small smile, she must be feeling a little guilty, perhaps feeling that she's leading the poor guy on. Something tells me she might come clean by the end of her date, but who knows? Will it be a success?!

At the Prince Albert, Ash and Peter - surprisingly two other characters I never thought we'd see share a scene. But from what I can make out, they both have a little bit in common, Ash is wallowing her thoughts and fears about her brother going to prison for something he didn't do. Peter is also battling demons about his own Dad, wondering whether to trust him or not. They're both dealing with deep family issues right now, and it looks as if as they continue their conversation, they have some mutual understanding of each other and what the other is going through. I could be looking into something that isn't there, but do I sense a bit of flirtation as Peter offers to buy her a drink? I mean, sure, anyone can offer someone a drink without it be flirtatious, but I don't know - something told me that maybe there might've been something there. But who knows, Ash I believe is happy with Iqra, so who knows what could happen? This is EastEnders after all!

Back at the restaurant, it looks as if Kathy's date with Iain is going brilliantly! They're both giggling and enjoying each other's company. But it looks as if Iain is asking Kathy really awkward questions, questions which are having to make her lie about her family, such as Peter being her son instead of Grandson. Is she going to keep up the pretence that she's younger than what she actually is?! I mean, I said it last night, Kathy is looking fabulous at 70 and she shouldn't be afraid to be proud of her age! I think Kathy is a stunning looking woman, gorgeous hair with a beautiful dress sense, with a gorgeous smile - what's not to like? Who cares if she's 70? I hope eventually Kathy will admit the truth and hopefully Iain won't find the age-gap a big deal! Kathy deserves some happiness! Later on as they leave the restaurant together, Kathy invites Iain to the Prince Albert, things are looking great when suddenly Kathy takes a nasty tumble as she twists her ankle and falls to the floor. Ash, Peter and Bobby rush to Kathy's aid insisting that she needs to go the hospital to get herself looked at. Iain is a bit blaséabout it, saying she "Just tripped" - something you do never say when a woman falls over! In my opinion, if a woman ever falls over, people should do the decent thing and make sure she's okay - no matter what her age may be! As Peter and Ash plead Kathy to go the hospital, it's then that Peter slips up and calls her "Gran" - much to Iain's surprise, it's then that Kathy admits her real age and admits she's feeling incredibly foolish. I feel sad for Kathy at this point, everything was going so well before her nasty fall - I hope Iain will maybe look past it, but who knows? Did any of you also notice that when Bobby saw his Nan fall, he started counting, clearly to cope and calm his breathing after what he's just witnessed.

At the club, Stacey is looking for Martin, but Ruby appears to be in the middle of something with a supplier, she's refusing to sign for items she didn't order. Stacey watches on as she's being hounded by the delivery driver, surprisingly she stands up for her ex-friend and basically tells the delivery guy to do one! Ruby seems surprised that she's stood up for her, in an attempt to rekindle their friendship, she asks her friend to stay for a drink. As Stacey and Ruby are drinking, it looks as if things aren't going to be as easy as saying "Sorry!" - they are both really strong feisty females and to be fair, they have both done wrong to each other in recent months. Stacey makes the valid point that any man in Stacey's life, Ruby also seems to get her hands on - Sean, Max, Martin, but then again Ruby comes back with another valid point, that she didn't pretend to be her! It's true that they are both best friends and they're the only friend's each of them has got right now, will they be able to look past everything that's happened and move on?

Meanwhile, in the Vic, Habiba is looking absolutely heartbroken, it looks as if Jags has been sentenced to four years in prison for his attack on Martin Fowler. Habiba is devastated that her boyfriend has gone down for something he didn't do, she announces to her sister how much she hates the Panesar family for watching and doing nothing to save Jags. It's then she informs Iqra that she no longer wants Ash living with them. Is Iqra going to be forced to make a huge decision, whether to ask her girlfriend to leave or whether to move out with her girlfriend and leave Habiba alone. Back at the club, Suki and Vinny are also discussing Jags, Vinny is still adamant that he should've taken Jag's place, but Suki shrugs it off and tells him to man up, prison will be the making of Jags - apparently.

As soon as Suki leaves the club, the camera spans across and we find Stacey and Ruby again. Stacey is quick to say that she needs to get off to find Lily. But suddenly, Lily walks in admitting that she's been in the club office the whole time, both Ruby and Stacey are shocked to find her. Stacey is quick to ger home but Lily - oooh she's become such a little madam hasn't she - She's can't understand why her Mum and Ruby are now socialising? She opens her mouth and puts her Mum right in it, revealing what Stacey had said about her previously to their meeting. Stacey is horrified with her daughter, Ruby is just as shocked. It's then that Ruby begins to play the evil stepmum, she promises Lily can have a takeaway with herself and Martin whenever she likes, much to Stacey's annoyance. Stacey gives Ruby a warning, she is nothing to Lily and never will be and she warns her to stay away! Something tells me it's going to be a long time until Ruby and Stacey are friends again, something is also telling me that somehow it'll affect the children. Also I'm thinking that Lily is going to become a very twisted little girl, causing so much trouble and causing havoc in her family, ruining relationships and perhaps spreading lies about everyone. What do you guys think of the new Lily?! It's going to be quite a while to get used to, Lily was such a lovely little girl and now she's turned into such a spoilt brat!

Back at Beale household, Bobby can be seen once again cleaning extravagantly. Wearing gloves and counting the amount of times he's wiping the picture frame. Peter comes in and calls out to him, informing that their Gran has been in agony since her fall. He walks in to find vases and picture frames placed on dining room table, Bobby is breathless as he violently wipes clean every inch of the vase, counting to five as he does so. I've never been one to understand OCD, but it must be hell to live with, but then again I guess I kind of have the understanding that the people feel the need to do things until they feel completely safe. Peter looked concerned for his brother, will he confide in his Dad or Nan about what he's witnessed?!

The final scene of this episode, Phil has gotten the money together to give to Ellie. He walks in the Arches to find Ellie waiting for him, without Raymond! Ben quickly follows his Dad to see what's going on. Phil throws the duffle bag with 80 grand inside, insisting that he needs more time to get the rest. Ellie seems very unimpressed but it's only when Ben begins to plead to his Dad to not give Ellie more money that she starts to squirm. Ben makes a very good point that she could bleed Phil dry for years at the promise of getting Raymond eventually. Part of me is hoping that Phil will listen to his son, as much as Phil is desperate to be reunited with his son, he can't afford to lose all his money. He can't risk giving the money to Ellie, to then have her do a runner and not keep her word. Phil agrees with Ben and informs Ellie that she's not going to receive another penny from him! If Phil wants Raymond, he's going to do things properly with solicitors and possibly even take Ellie to court - it looks as if we've got a custody battle on our hands!!! Ooooh I am so looking forward to seeing the outcome of this! What do you guys think? Will Phil eventually be able to welcome Raymond back into his life? Or is there going to be many dark twists and turns along the way?!

Thank you guys for reading! I hope you're enjoying my blog. I'll be back tomorrow following tonight's episode! Thank you for your continued support! Enjoy the rest of your week! Love you all xXx

[deltaengineering]

Spring Anime 2020 Part 1: united states of whatever

BNA: Brand New Animal

So after Beastars wasn’t all that (feel free to tell me how wrong I am about everything ever, because I don’t already know this), Trigger is now taking a shot at the lucrative “Furries are a great metaphor for... society shit or whatever, I don’t know” market. It’s no surprise that it looks good; Trigger’s animation style is as easy on the eyes as ever and they brought in some of the Ａ Ｅ Ｓ Ｔ Ｈ Ｅ Ｔ Ｉ Ｃ from Promare. Expect CGA palette 1 in here. Of course, it’s not Imaishi, so it won’t annoy the pants off you in seconds. Usually that’s a cause for celebration but keep in mind that this is Yoh Yoshinari instead, and Little Witch Academia TV did nothing to change my impression that a Trigger writer is the janitor mopping up after the animation bros are done partying. The first episode of BNA in particular is just as vapid as expected, but they helpfully released more and it does improve somewhat, with more effort put into the worldbuilding and characters than none at all and even a few attempts to intentionally subvert the lameness. There’s still issues; Michiru is just the goofy and dim Trigger main girl again and aloof loner Shirou is either extremely someone’s wolf fursona or an uncommonly stealthy pisstake on someone’s wolf fursona. The social commentary is very “I see what you did there” and there remain some doubts on the long-term viability of any Trigger endeavor. So, is it good enough to watch? I dunno, to be honest. More like it’s not bad enough to not watch. Thanks, Trigger.

Hachi-nan tte, Sore wa Nai deshou!

Oh boy, it’s the isekai light novel again, and expectations are so low that I’m positively surprised when I’m merely bored while watching it. Hachi-nan is one of those isekai things where the isekai is more or less perfunctory: regular dude gets reborn with complementary hax magic in ye olde kyngdomme of fantasy, whoop. A plus is that he’s put in a disadvantageous position and has to work for his power fantasy, i.e. he isn’t starting with an instaharem etc. - or rather, he does, but it’s a brief flashforward that seems mostly there to assure the viewer that they’re not watching anything good by mistake. And even that is not egregious, to be fair. It’s so “not even all that bad” that I’m wondering who’s supposed to watch this: People like me will never give it the time of the day with its tired gimmick and very unimpressive production, and people who start “lookin 4 ainme w/op mc” recommendations threads on reddit won’t get anything out of it either. How very curious.

Kakushigoto

I can only assume Kouji Kumeta (of Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei fame) has a daughter now, and like all new dads he just can’t stop telling people how cute she is. Case in point: This manga, which is about a mangaka keeping his manga-drawing exploits secret from his very adorable daughter and that’s the joke. The character design is obviously very Kumeta, and so is the ceaseless discharge of puns, plus Ajia-do even put some light SHAFT touches on the adaptation. However, SZS’ semi-smart bickering is just replaced with very basic panic manzai antics here. You can even tell Kumeta is a good comedy writer, since the stories are fairly elaborate, introduce elements, go somewhere else and bring them back, and it’s all very technically solid - but that doesn’t change the fact that the punchline is lame and predictable. It’s like David Mamet writing a fart joke, you can admire the craft but at the end of the day, it’s still a fart joke. Adding to that is that I’ve grown rather tired of SZS over the course of its endless run, and this isn’t even as good as SZS. Maybe worth getting back to when we’re 30 volumes in and Kumeta reveals the daughter never really existed in the first place.

Tamayomi

I don’t know if you noticed this, but in baseball, there’s a pretty close relationship between pitcher and catcher. We’ve seen the BL version of this in Battery, and now someone’s doing it with girls, in Kirara no less. Even the name is Tama + Yomi, you know, like Haru + Kana (Receive). So far so good, only this is about baseball, the most boring team sport you’re ever likely to see an anime about, and Yomi’s special power is an unhittable pitch - which means that if everything goes right for our heroes, the game is even more boring. Some hackneyed tragic backstory about how only your waifu can catch your bomb-ass pitch doesn’t help. Being very dull isn’t even the worst problem here though. Tamayomi is adapted by Studio A-Cat (of Frame Arms Girl and Amazing Stranger “fame”), and they manage to make it look like episode 7 of a 2004-vintage DEEN production. Bad animation, dusty character designs, off-model shots, it’s all there, and this is the best-looking episode this show is ever likely to get. Ouch.

Tower of God

Crunchyroll is producing anime now, and I’m sure they know better than most people what sells. The answer is “Jump Shounen”, which is something I also knew, but whatever. Of course Jump doesn’t let them anywhere near their properties so they got the next big thing: An immensely popular Korean webtoon people unironically describe as “like One Piece” while thinking that that’s praise. And then it isn’t even like One Piece much, apart from where it’s about having fights to get to the thing (eventually). What it seems to be is the fighting shounen in the abstract: No “pirates” or “ninjas” or “shinigami” or other “setting” excuses here, the tower is just a whole bunch of fights stacked on top of each other and some shounen characters dropped in to excrete Jump-brand baby dialog. I guess that’s what fans of the genre are looking for. It isn’t much of a production either, the best I can say about it is that it’s colorful and has some really good music by Kevin Penkin. The animation is just functional and of course without a setting it doesn’t have any unifying aesthetic either. But the real decider is this: I thought the pacing was sluggish and interminable, and then I find out that fans of the source material think it’s rushing through it at a breakneck pace. This is likely going to be outrageously popular, so I will never struggle to find out what did or didn’t happen in the latest episode and can safely skip it.

[foodbytesback]

I Try One of Everything at Salt City Market (Part 1)

I often rag on my hometown of Syracuse for not having a particularly creative restaurant scene.�� A city with largely Italian and Irish populations has, surprisingly, yielded a lot of forgettable Italian family restaurants and Irish pubs that all kind of blur together.  Admittedly, I’m also a bit of a shut-in (especially with the pandemic), so I won’t claim to know all the ins-and-outs of some of the more “underground” restaurants.  So when I first heard about the Salt City Market, a collective of vendors selling foods from a wide variety of ethnicities, I was excited to hear about something new coming to that seeming-abandoned lot downtown.  They’ve had plenty of setbacks (most, obviously, pandemic-related), but now they’re finally open for our dining pleasure.      

This project has been almost a year in the making, so it’s no surprise that, on the day of the grand opening, people were so excited that everyone ended up running out of food.  Being the fool that I am, I assumed that going at 4:00 on the second day would be less busy.  We ended up waiting in line for about 10 minutes, as they were being very diligent about enforcing occupancy limits and getting people in and out as safely as possible.  Even though it was about 15°F out, I would say the overall experience was well worth the wait.  

I honestly was too busy trying to figure out what to get and also staying 6 feet away from everyone else that I didn’t pay much mind to the decor within the space. I didn’t even notice music was playing until one of my friends pointed out they were playing a song she liked (I know I’ve heard this song dozens of times, I could have sworn it was Animal Collective but after scouring their discography I guess it isn’t).  It had that kind of hip, start-up-y vibe that, when juxtaposed with the run-down apartment building across the street, would have raised questions about gentrification if it weren’t for the sheer number of POC chefs and entrepreneurs involved.  

So, without further ado, let’s talk about the food.  When I say I’m trying “one of everything,” I guess I actually mean “one thing from each vendor (or, rather, for this week, half of them),” which may be a little misleading, but let’s be real, I can’t afford one of everything.  (I briefly considered emailing them to see if I could get some sort of “Media Pass,” but I figured even if they did things like that it would require me to actually have readers lmao) Also, some places had also started to run out of things again, but I will do my best to review what they were able to give me without a sense of “ugh, this isn’t what I wanted.”  And obviously, since we got takeout and drove like 20 minutes to get the food back home, I’m not going to be judging the food in terms of things like “it was cold,” or “the breading got soggy from the condensing steam in the package.”

BIG IN BURMA- Samosas- $5

2 disclaimers- 1.) Of all the ethnicities represented at the market, I have the least knowledge and/or exposure to Burmese cuisine.  Judging by the menu and my basic understanding of geography, I’d say the simplest (and thus probably not super accurate) way to describe it is a cross between Indian and Thai food. 2.) I used to work with the dad of the owner, so I felt like trying Big In Burma first was a priority.  

While I initially wanted to try the Nan Gyi Thoke, they were out of noodles so I eventually settled on an order of samosas.  I say “settled,” but really, is there really anything better than a dumpling?

The dough was flaky and crisp, almost like phyllo dough.  The potato and onion filling was simple (and in my opinion could have used a little more of the curry spice blend they used), but tasty. The sauce that accompanied them isn’t described anywhere on their menu, but tastes a lot like Frank’s Red Hot but with a little more of a vinegary tang to it.  All in all, a great little snack that, despite being a fried dumpling, didn’t get too heavy, which was good because I had a lot more food to eat.

FIRECRACKER THAI KITCHEN- Spicy Basil Chicken- $13.50

My first thought upon tasting the chicken by itself was “Hey, that’s way too much fish sauce, I’m probably not gonna eat this whole thing.”  However, once you mix the chicken and the rice together, the flavors become much more well balanced, and I did end up eating the whole thing, thank you very much.  My biggest gripe, however, was that this “Spicy Basil” Chicken didn’t deliver very strongly on the “Spicy” or the “Basil,” two things I love in Thai food but found myself wanting more of.  The fried egg was good, though.  I’m always a sucker for a fried egg.

It might also be worth mentioning that one of my friends got the “Street Style Eggs Over Rice,” which, despite the menu description including other things, was just a fried egg over a pile of rice and a cup of sauce.

MISS PRISSY’S- Fried Chicken Wings- $12.50

(I hope I’m remembering that price right, the online version of their menu seems incomplete.)

Miss Prissy’s seems to be one of the busier stands, given they were probably the hardest hit of the ones I went to when it came to shortages.  They were out of the braised oxtail and pepper steak that were my first and second choices, so I “settled” on the wings.  Once again, that’s not a bad thing.  

The breading on the wings was just the right thickness, and was somehow still crispy after traveling.  They were also a very good size, too. The only negative thing I could say about the wings was that it seemed like they were seasoned after cooking, instead of seasoning the breading, which lead to some pieces being more well seasoned than others.  (I’m noticing a trend of me thinking everything was underseasoned… did I catch the ‘rona without noticing or something…) 

The mac & cheese may look like my mom’s sad, dry mac at first glance, but it is NOT.  It was much creamier and cheesier than it looks.  The green beans, however, were pretty much just as sad and probably-canned as they look.  I look forward to getting the collards some day, once they stop running out.

(Also, this is really neither here nor there, but the leftover samosa sauce goes really well with these wings.)

PIE’S THE LIMIT- Oat and Berry Slice- $3.50

While they do have an interesting selection of savory pies, I decided to get something more dessert-y to round out my night of hedonism- uhh I mean supporting local business.

The crust was surprisingly tender and flaky for a vegan dough (ie no butter/lard/etc).  The berry filling was a pretty much perfect blend of tart and sweet that you would want from a pie filling.  The oat topping clearly uses some kind of steel cut oat- or at least something other than the instant oats I’m accustomed to in streusel toppings like this- because it has a more toothsome chew to it, which I thought added a nice contrast in texture.        

All-in-all, everything was very good, with most of the shortcomings easily being excused as these businesses try to keep up with how busy they’ve been.   I’m much as it kills me to have to wait, I’m probably going to have to wait a week or two for part 2 for the crowds to die down a little.

[bythevayviktoria]

On Grief - Fuck me what a stupid tittle.

Every year I around Christmas I feel like someone stabbed the little Hesus at the altar and massacred the rest of the Kings including Mary. It is getting better though. The smiles are more convincing, the lights are shining and the presents are indeed under the trees. Almost everything is the same. But, no-one dares to mention her.

I am silently mourning between two bites from the biscuits, mourning an imperfect mother and I wish her to ruin Christmas now by stressing everyone out, shouting, emotionally traumatizing us by mid-day and at the beginning of the night pretending that none of the terror happened.

Cause she was imperfect and hard to love. What if she wasn’t the best mother and neither the best person? What if this mourn is directed towards a person whom I didn’t know cause the teenage fog on my brain didn’t want to see her? But what exactly is my grief? I started to ask myself walking down the aisles in a shopping store: This is vegan cheese. Is this grief now? Skip, this is a very nice box of hummus. Is this grief then? Apparently no. Is this person grief? She is refusing to be one with hand movements and verbally that this stranger does not wish to be my grief. I agree with her. It is an ungrateful job.

I guess my griefs are stupid ones, little small things, not worth mentioning. Messages. Unreceived messages, and calls. Calls that I never get to have. Conversations. There is a very bad line to heaven. Couldn’t you figure that out Elon? How does one even grief? Do I sit down and put on some crying stick? Do I make a youtube channel and sell my grief for a few viewers? Should I make a motivational speech about how strong I am? Maybe a post so I look somehow understood and uplifting? Am I a sociopath? Nan - I am not that good looking and charming. 

 ...And you forget. You do. Days and weeks go by and you have everyday things to do. Aims to reach and money to collect on this capitalist board game. And slowly you forget that she was there, that your imperfect mother used to be in your life. She is not there anymore, on nights while everyone deserves to have a mother. In apartment 21, Allison says Jewish people mourn for 7 days, together with family - there is a reason for that. “What about heathens and atheists?”, I am asking jokingly?- She adds that if little Viki had a chance, she wouldn’t hurt this much now, 6 years later. Ouch. Touché- right at the heart. I could even take this personally if I wanted. -By the way I am in high demand in grieving, I am pricy on the market: My close relative wrote me a letter a few months back- telling me that this is a beautiful day for her to commit suicide. Hold on a minute I am grieving my mother now. I can’t pre-grief! Pull a number and stand in the line. Everyone gets a bit of grief from me if behaving right.-

Funny, how the grief comes in moments where it just ridiculously uninvited and how funny to carry around silently, taking it to places and without people knowing about it. Me, even not knowing about it. This uninvited feeling in my pocket, when reaching for a lighter. It’s funny. 

I learn about my grief, I am trying. This Christmas, I happened to understand better accidentally. On the couch. Random episode of “Midnight Gospel”.'Mouse of Silver. 

And so I am leaving it here:

"Duncan: There is no way that you can stop a heartbreak. What do you do about that? Mother: You cry. You cry. Duncan: It is really hard. But it is something everyone’s got to, you know, deal with. And it is such a strange thing. I mean the universe, seems so stable if you are in this automatic state. And the encounter with the truth which for me you dying, this thing has been probably the greatest run-in with the truth that I’ve had in my whole life. It’s inexpressible. This is not a desirable feeling. Mother: No. Duncan: But it is a feeling that every single human being will experience, one way or the other. Mother: It opens your heart it breaks your heart open. We have defended ourselves against pain and this opens them. Even the hurt transforms because if you inquire into the hurt, you know what you are experiencing is love. The real deal. Duncan: Yeah cause it’s seeing how much you value life….And what advice would you give out to people who are dealing with this? Mother: I would tell them to cry when they need to cry and to turn toward this thing that’s called death. Turn toward it. Even if you are afraid, turn toward it. It won’t hurt you. And see what it has to teach you. It’s a tremendous teacher, free of charge. The amazing thing about letting go into it is that you find that this thing called love is supportive, that it holds us. Duncan: Well, I obviously love you very much. Mother: That’s another thing you find. I may leave this plane of existence sooner than later but the love isn’t going anywhere. "

happy birthday, mom!

14.01.2021.

[secretradiobrooklyn]

Shroud of Pigeon | 12.5.20

Secret Radio | 12.5.20 | Hear it here.

1. Yos Olarang - title unknown

This is a real score in my book. Generally known as Yol Aularon, this guy is Cambodia’s greatest rock musician, turning out garage rock that knows no equal in America or anywhere else, in my opinion. I tracked down this song on a tape attributed to “Yol Aularon” which includes his big hit, “Cyclo,” but also this song which I haven’t heard on any other collections. Honestly, though, I may yet run across it in a prominent collection, because I have no way of figuring out the title — every bit of the text I can find is in Cambodian. In any case, we LOVE this track! It’s almost like a catalog of Olarang’s laughs: there’s a merry snort, a giggle, and a malevolent cackle all built into the melody. I believe he’s the blazing lead guitarist as well. It’s just such a perfect gem of pure rock energy.

2. Gedou - “Scent” (I think)

Speaking of pure rock energy — DAMN, SAM! This was our introduction to Gedou, a blasting burst of Japanese glam rock whose costumes match the sounds you hear here. These guys were only originally active from ’73-’76, and then got back together sporadically after that; I believe this is from that original lineup. It’s well worth it to check the live video that this comes from. It’s an electric thrill just to see them leaning back to back, singing into the same mic, doing kicks and losing their minds in shining kimonos and silk hiphuggers. It feels like a Japanese MC5 whose wardrobe directly influenced David Bowie. One note I read says that they were popular with Japanese biker gangs at the time — and there are certainly bikes aplenty in the video. I’m looking forward to finding out more about the impact they had in Japan, and whether they made an impression in the rest of the world. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHfBhJsqrD8

3. Clothilde - “Saperlipopette”

What a strange little slab of chamber pop! Clothilde was barely even a one-hit wonder in France — she released two 45s in 1967 and, as far as I know, that was it. But what a song! It’s like a vanful of pop records crashed into a classical instrument shop. I especially dig the xylophone or whatever that is back there — hardly necessary given the hyperactive harpsichord, but it takes the poppy flavor right over the top. So many bands have tried to get to this level of fizz, but I’ve never heard it succeed like this!

- King Kong - “Ten Long Years”

Slint is one of indie rock’s most unimpeachably cool bands, which makes the silliness of King Kong all the more endearing. Band leader Ethan Buckler was the original bassist in Slint, and all of the Slint lineup got into the act at one point or another. In 1995 Drag City released King Kong’s “Me Hungry,” a sort of funky concept album about a caveman, his yak, and an inhospitable world. Sean Nelson and I spent many not-sober nights enjoying that record — “I push em out, I push em out” — and got to see them play the Crocodile Cafe. I definitely remember appreciating how groovy King Kong was, like Neanderthal B-52s. Butler even looked a bit like a shaved caver. 

4. Star Feminine Band - “Femme Africaine”

Born Bad is our new favorite label, right up there with Analog Africa. They’re based in France, and release music both archival and new. Star Feminine Band is based in Benin, home to so much of our favorite music. It’s definitely worth watching the video for this song just to see how young and full of potential the girls in the band are. They were assembled in a School of Rock sort of situation, taught to play instruments and encouraged to write lyrics. The lyrics of this song are so directly uplifting it’s enough to put a lump in the throat. Meanwhile, the music is such a pleasure to listen to! The whole album is full of good stuff, but this song is pretty much their theme song. It translates to: 

“Oh woman, African woman

Oh woman, Beninese woman

Black woman, get up, don't sleep

You can become president of the republic

You can become prime minister of the country

Get up, something must be done

African woman, be independent

The country needs us, go to school

Africa needs you, you have to work

The world needs us, let's stand up we'll defend

African woman, be independent”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdDp6VAXXbk

5. Young Signorino - “Mmh Ha Ha Ha”

A few years ago a friend posted the video for this song on FB with a note that was like, “Ever see something you should hate but you can’t stop watching?” I watched it, watched it again… and watched it again. It eventually slipped out of my mind, but I was thrilled to remember it the other day in the context of WBFF. The song’s language, such as it is, is Italian, but it also just fits perfectly into the post-language mix that has been turning our cranks lately. I’m really glad to get a chance to present it here first as a piece of music, because the video really affects the experience. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9bf4PT-aEk

6. Yura Yura Teikoku - ゆらゆら帝国で考え中  “Yura Yura Keikoku de Kangaechuu” (I think?)

This is another sweet find in a broadcast full of em! Yura Yura Teikoku is a trio formed in 1989 and have a huge rep in Japan as a psychedelic band, but apparently by 2000 they were crafting super-awesome pop songs that rocked hard. The video of this song features a singer with adorably mussed hair and a striped shirt against an orange background, looking super hip and on top of the world. From what I’ve read they were gigantic in Japan but utterly unknown outside, which changed a bit when they played New York in 2007 and again a year later, to packed houses. But that didn’t seem to do the trick, and they finally broke up in 2010. They have several good songs from this period, but this one, from a three-song 45, is the one that has hooked us the hardest so far. We can’t seem to find out even what the song title is, but as far as I can tell the band’s name translates to The Wobbling Empire, and the song title is “Thinking in the Wobbling Empire.” It’s bizarre to us that this kind of hip tight rock didn’t find a way into the bigger world… but I guess singing in Japanese was the deciding factor. Really glad to have uncovered it though!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9CM44MohAs

7. Can - “Mother Sky”

I know a lot of bigger Can fans than me, but this track has so much of what we love in the drones, the freakouts, the lockdowns, the Engl-ish vocals, the long climb towards the climax… it feels sometimes like flying, sometimes like swimming, sometimes like burrowing deeper and deeper downwards.

8. Señor Coconut - “Showroom Dummies”

Can and Kraftwerk share enough DNA that they seem like a natural pairing. But… Señor Coconut’s version of this classic track of “Trans-Europe Express” is honestly my preferred version of the song. It sounds so sincere and strange, and I find myself thinking about the lives of mannequins even as I also hear the palm leaves switching in the breeze. The album “El Baile Aleman” — “German Dance” — was released in 1999, and apparently Kraftwerk was fine with it. Thank goodness. 

- Lithics - “A Highly Textured Ceiling”

Every time I hear this track I think of Six Finger Satellite’s “The Pigeon Is the Most Popular Bird,” a crucial album for me. I learned about all of these tones for the first time from that record. I’ma write more about this band in a sec, when they show back up. 

9. Schwervon! - “American Idle” 

Years ago Mike Appelstein hipped us to Schwervon!, a two-piece band who were about to make the opposite journey of our own eventual path, moving from NYC to Missouri — in their case Kansas City. They turned out to be lovely individuals and an instant favorite band, and we hosted them whenever they came through STL. Their album “Courage” plays like a lost ’90s classic, and “American Idle” is one of the best tracks on there. The production of the album, by Matt Mason, is straight-up enviable. As is so often the case, good people have good friends, and they led us to Jeffrey Lewis, who has been a pleasure to get to know better since we made our own way east last year. I don’t think Matt and Nan are writing songs together anymore, but we’re glad that they did. 

10. Boney M. - “Rasputin”

I saw this song peeking at me from my computer now and then, but didn’t check it out til recently. What a complete banger! The lyrics are absolutely fantastic — “Rah! Rah! Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine, it was a shame how he carried on!” — but so is the production… and the video, for that matter. Apparently this was a hit track in 1978. I’ve spent most of my life avoiding disco, though, so I had no idea. I love how the narrative weight shifts from the lead male voice to the chorus voices. It’s such a strange read of Rasputin’s life and death — the unkillable Casanova of Russia!

11. Rafaella Carrá - “Festa”

Did I mention that I used to hate disco? Well, this is my big comeup. We’ve been dabbling in disco on WBFF here and there, but this pairing is meant strictly for the dancefloor! This is the original Italian version, but Carrá became a massive hit in Spain and recorded most of her songs in Spanish as well. Obviously, the Spanish influence is strong in this song’s amazing flamenco claps and trumpet passages. 

12. T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou Benin et Loko Pierre - “Djo Mi Do”

There’s nowhere to go from disco but back to our prime fascination: Tout Puissant! This album is a collaboration with saxophonist Loko Pierre, and every track hits hard. But this track’s chorus, “djo mi do, djo mi do!” is such a gotdamn hook! This band continues to surprise and reward the deeper we dig into their catalog, and I feel like we’re still just getting started. So funky and fresh every time.

The chorus makes me think of a song we first heard on KDHX about a decade ago — “Dominos,” by The Big Pink. I really liked the hook of the song but loathed the cold-blooded lyrics, so I found myself hating it. You know how it is. I’m really glad to find a song that can replace it in my head — and it’s a way better song!

13. Bruno Leys - “Hallucinations”

Credit to Born Bad records once again for this song. It’s a true rarity. Bruno Leys fell in with some fellow students in Paris in 1967 including a guy named Emmanuel Pairault, who was obsessed with an instrument called the ondes Martenot, which is a very very early electronic instrument that works a little like a theremin — though it’s played by wearing a ring on one finger and sliding it along a wire, depressing the wire to change the note — but has a crazy range of sounds. The instrumental hook in this song, as well as the backing notes, are on the onde Martenot. Leys co-wrote and recorded four songs with the band, they got signed up with a label, released a 7”, then he had to leave for compulsory military service… and by the time he got back two years later there was no band and no label. The 7” was practically unobtainable til this year, when Born Bad records finally released it anew. I hope Leys is still alive to appreciate that it finally made its way into the world!

- The Psycheground Group - “Psycheground”

14. Troubadour Dali - “Spirit of ’67”

Oh, Troubadour… Sleepy Kitty shared a label with Troubadour Dali for several years, and we were big fans of their whirling swirling psychedelia. They had a couple of chicks (I think they’d approve of the word) projecting old-school colored oil-and-water light effects on the band, and when they were on, they looked and felt like the greatest band in the land. Troubadour went through an impressive number of players over the years, and there was generally some sort of drama or mayhem going on — not too surprising for a band who loved Brian Jonestown Massacre. The main songwriter was a lanky, handsome fella named Ben, though there were also great songs by Kevin and, every once in a great while, a powerful contribution by a quiet, snappy dresser named Benjamin. Benjamin apparently put this recording together entirely on his own. When he showed it to the band they flipped out — it’s obviously a winner — and they quickly got together a live version of it. Man, it tore the house down every time. At some point, though, in the midst of some of that drama, Benjamin started to kind of slip sideways out of the band. As they were finishing up their second full length, he declined to let the band record this song, or to make the demo available, despite their pleas. Eventually they went forward without it, and I don’t know what happened to Benjamin but I do know that Paige happened to rediscover her copy of “Spirit of ‘67″ recently, tucked into a stack of burned CDs. We’re very glad to get to drop this very special song into this secret radio mix.

- The Psycheground Group - “Psycheground”

Rare Italian instrumental noodles from the mid ’70s.

15. The Velvet Underground - “After Hours”

*Not ruined. Affected, but not ruined. She said so. 

16. Jean Cussac in “Le Livre de la Jungle” - “Etre un homme comme vous”

One musical adventure we’ve really enjoyed is checking out familiar musicals in unfamiliar tongues. And though you may not think of Disney’s “Jungle Book” as a musical, you’d be mistaken. This version of “I Want to Be Like You” is a particular delight. It plays straight with the original, but the presence of the French language inflects the rhythms with a Parisian flavor that I’d never noticed before.

17. Duch Kim Hak - “Neary Sok Khley”

Another hit from the Cambodian treasure chest. Paige noted as we listened the first time, “This one has good chords,” and we took to referring to it as Cambodian ska. I think it’s meant to be a simple twist song, but there’s a royal quality to the chords that really puts it above a straightforward dance novelty. And his vocal delivery is ace!

18. The Fall - “Terry Waite Sez”

Not much needed on this one! This is one in a host of classics from 1986’s “Bend Sinister.” The Brix E. period of The Fall is just the BEST. 

19. Twiggy - “When I Think of You”

Paige: “I was made aware of this record by The Deccas [a band she briefly sang with in Chicago]. They knew every single girl group song that had ever been recorded. This was the same band where the guy who was obsessed with Scott Walker and looked like him and his house was very /60s and he had a word processor. I didn’t even know what a word processor was. That’s unrelated to this song though. She’s one of the great singing models — and maybe next week we’ll play another one. There are three known.”

- Psycheground Group - “Psycheground”

20. Hallelujah Chicken Run Band - “Alikulila” 

SO happy to have this album on vinyl at last! It was just released in this format, and Analog Africa is always so good at including notes about the album’s genesis. These guys are from Zambia, and they pioneered the translation of mbira parts into guitar parts, while writing these amazing songs that I’ve never heard anything like. Except for one. One of their songs sounds a bit like a Bound Stems song. Which is weird, because obviously we’d never heard them when we wrote “Cloak of Blue Sky.” It just proves to me that they were both way ahead of their time and working in an idiom that could and should be hit music today. It sounds so alive and creative and insightful, like good indie rock should. 

21. Lithics - “Snake Tattoo / Twisting Vine”

Lithics is one of my favorite contemporary bands. They played Foam in St. Louis like five years ago, right after I’d discovered their existence via the excellent album “Borrowed Floors.” Foam was a tiny little club that fit maybe 50 people and was sure to go apeshit for this show. I was SO psyched to be there… but the night of, we couldn’t get out because we were staying out in the Illinois woods and it was snowing enough to make the return trip too treacherous. As much as that’s one of the main shows of my life I wish I’d seen, I’m glad that Brad got to see them and tell me about it later. I hope I can catch them in NYC.

22. Sunny Blacks Band - “Mission spéciale”

OK, I admit that I’m obsessed with Melome Clement — or Meloclem, as he is known by some in Benin. He’s the composer of hundreds of T.P. Orchestre songs, and I’ve written about him a ton. I know he plays some horns and I believe he plays the slashing guitar that you hear in this track. I don’t think that’s him singing but I’m not sure; his voice is very malleable. Sunny Blacks Band is the group he was playing with when the T.P. Orchestre guys found him. It’s hard music to track down, but I love how much it rocks — or “jerks,” as they said at the time. We’ve also played the track “Holonon Die” on here and it jerks too, with an extended, wild electric guitar solo over pulsing trap and hand drums. What a freakin powerhouse Meloclem is.

23. Betti-Betti - “La Vie de Bettie Bettie Chanteuse Camerounaise”

This recording is a beautiful mystery. It appears in a film called “Badiaga,” which I encountered while looking for music by Betti-Betti, a superstar within her nation of Cameroon. This comes from one of the final scenes in the movie. There are different summations of the film (we don’t understand the language of the film itself), but apparently the story is “inspired by” the story of Betti-Betti, who was discovered as a child wandering in a marketplace, brought up extremely poor and eventually sang (a cappella?) on the radio, whereupon she became an instant success. She played constant shows and played with many of the region’s heaviest hitters, including T.P. Orchestre (they recorded an album together, which is how we found out about her). As for this recording — I don’t know if this is sung by Betti-Betti or by the actress playing her. And I don’t know the male character singing alongside her, though I’m guessing he’s a real-life music figure himself. It’s a beautiful duet, rich with feeling, and the performance footage throughout the movie is electrifying. 

P.S. This film is also how I found out about Eko Roosevelt, whose “Me To a Dey My Own” is an epic upbeat number we’ve played on WBFF!

24. Guided By Voices - “The Goldheart Mountaintop Queen Directory”

A perfect song, meant for the opposite of social distancing: to be sung full-bore in a crowd with one’s arms slung around sweating strangers, straight into the face of the band (I’ll be the one hooting the recorder part). This is how legends are made. 

 - Janko Nilovic & Soul Surfers - “Maze of Sounds”

I love the bass part on this album as much as the album artwork, which we will surely have included somewhere around here. This guy’s story is pretty interesting: he was born in Istanbul to a Montenegrin father and Greek mother, and his career started by working with French singer Davy Jones (but not THAT Davy Jones) in 1967. He got into recording for sound libraries, working in soul and funk and psych music, gained a serious composing rep and eventually, maybe inevitably, his music started getting sampled by the likes of Dr. Dre and Jay Z. Not bad, not bad!

25. Gnonnas Pedro et Ses Dadjes - “La Musica en Verité”

Maybe someday we’ll release the version of this song that we recorded in the early days of the pandemic. This is the final track (if not the final song) on the immortal “Legends of Benin” album on Analog Africa. My favorite aspect is how the guitar plays the same mesmerizing piece throughout, but the percussion evolves over the course of the song until it has gradually changed completely. It’s a subtle dynamic but it’s a master clinic in how to run a drone song the right way. Also, that organ part is just beautiful.

[miraculousmumma]

How are you MM? Family ok? Big fan of your work just checking in... *Virtual hug from across the pond*

Hi eleyctra!  Thanks so much for asking!  We’re all okay here!  We’re on lockdown, obviously, so mostly staying home!  I admit to having to leave the house to do some essential shopping/medication runs for not only me and the girls but my mum, and my 91 year old nan who still lives alone and is, honestly, in better physical shape than me!  Other than that it’s quite an experience for the girls, not me as I’m always at home anyway pretty much!

My new car was ready the day lockdown began, which is kinda funny, because now I have to wait until it’s all over for a delivery date!  So I have two kinds of freedom to look forward to!  Like everyone, we’re just making the best of everything and my girls and I get on really well anyway!  Also, thank goodness Animal Crossing NH coming out!  I had already pre-ordered it (I confess I had saved up for us to have a copy each!) and we all clubbed together to get another switch lite so we all have our own!  I feel so decadent but didn’t break the bank!

Both girls were pretty shocked by school being closed, especially R the eldest who had her final exams coming up.  They’ve been cancelled so she was in limbo for a long time wondering how she was going to be graded as she’s going to college in September to study health and social care.  That’s all sorted now thankfully and all she can be disappointed about is her prom being cancelled!  Boo is a bit of an anxious social butterfly so she’s missing seeing people but she’s handling it quite well and has started teaching Peach the Pupper new tricks!  She’s missing her SATs as she’s in year 6 and will probably next go to school at the Academy her sister just left!  So much going on!

Anyway, you probably didn’t want an essay, but I’m still here, still okay, and trying to write when my brain allows!  I hope all is well with you too and aren’t too stressed with everything!

[sunsetsover]

Talk about yesterdays episode.. tell me everything you enjoyed in detail lol.

first of all lemme just say i’m SO SORRY this took me so long to get to i know i said i’d answer this like last sunday but sometimes shit happens!!! but you asked for me to go into detail so i very much went into detail so!!! buckle in!!!

i’m doing this in bulletpoints for clarity otherwise it will just be an incoherent mess lmao

(also for reference this is abt the 8th nov ep aka the ‘you’re my boyfriend’ ep!)

ok so let me preface by saying i fuckin adored this ep it’s like god tier for me rn i love ben and pam’s relationship so mf much i hope she comes back soon

like the fact that she just knew!! she knew smth was going on w callum and ben more or less straight away and ok granted those two were not exactly being subtle what with the domestic they were having in the middle of the albert but u know... for all she knew callum was straight and had just broken up w whitney so the fact that she knows ben well enough to just be able to Know smth was goin on despite all of that?? i love that it says so much abt their relationship!!

and then her being the nan that she is and taking it upon herself to fish for information with jay like ‘callum seems nice.... shame abt whitney 👀’ and then jay covering for their asses by not saying anything but pam is Not Stupid and jay was also tellingly vague so she was instantly like i see 👀👀

and then ben entering the parlour shouting about ‘bring out your dead’ or w/e it is he says like the little shit he is and pam rolling her eyes and just the easy affection of that whole interaction like her gently slapping his face and calling him a little devil like ur damn right he is!! almost literally!! but there’s sm overt affection and love there and it’s so nice to see bc ben doesn’t really get that from anyone else (he does from callum now, and jay in certain situations, but it’s just different u know?? like u dont even see that energy from his own mum v often so it’s just... nice to see idk)

like i just love her she has such nan energy and it’s so comforting and warm and she needs to be around forever not just for ben but for jay and lola and also callum like ? pls come back forever pam

ben innocently trying to help callum out by getting him promoted to manager when he hears jay is gonna take a step back like!! he was really just tryna help bc he knew callum was struggling w money... and alright, he probably shouldn’t have meddled and i get why callum wasn’t happy abt it (i’ll get to that) but i also truly believe that that wasn’t him tryna control the situation or interfere or whatever but him genuinely trying to help out his bf and jay was gonna take a step back anyway so it wasn’t even like he was the one to suggest it or anything idk i just thought as misguided as it might have been it was very sweet and thoughtful

also the fact that ben’s reaction to jay being like ‘i suppose callum could be ready to be a manager’ was basically ‘yeah man have you seen him in that suit!!! he makes my dick hard!!!’ like !!!!!!! he was so sincere and enthusiastic as well like he’s fucking diabolical i love him sm ..... pair that with jay’s reaction basically just being like ‘........................ anyways’ sdkfjsdkfsl iconic scene

and then later!!!! you’ve got ben practically chasing callum into the parlour when he sees him go in there!! he’s so excited to see callum and tell him the good news abt the promotion!! bc he’s done good!!! he’s helping!!! bc he knows damn well he’s in the doghouse bc of what had happened with pam and like the energy he radiated when he walked into that parlour was very much ‘i am coming to u w my tail between my legs bc i know i fucked up but instead of saying sorry i’m going to give u the sad eyes and hope u relent’ and like u can see he was practically buzzing out of his skin as he waited for jay to tell him abt the promotion and he’s looking at callum like ‘look! look at what i did!! i’m fixing it! i’m making up for my mistake!’ bc this is obviously how he thinks he can fix things instead of idk having a conversation and talking abt things but!!! i love it ben’s so cute

but ofc it backfires bc callum doesn’t want ben to fix things!! he doesn’t need ben fixing things!! he can look after himself! and we the audience know it wasn’t like ben went to jay and was like ‘you need to promote callum bc he’s struggling with money’, it was more of a two birds one stone situation. but ofc callum doesn’t know that, and it comes across very much as ben meddling and also - as callum says - very hot and cold. like ben can’t tell pam abt their relationship and will ignore him for hours but will (seemingly) wade in like some kind of knight in shining armour bc callum said he’s having money troubles? nah. i said it at the time but i completely agree w callum’s reaction, i would have reacted the same way if i were him. and maybe on any other day callum wouldn’t have reacted so strongly, but after what had happened that morning w pam it’s completely understandable why he goes off on one.

and like poor ben is so confused like he obviously really thought this would be good news and put him back in callum’s good graces but ofc it doesn’t bc what callum needed was an explanation and apology. and you can see how confused and crestfallen he is bc he doesn’t want to fight w callum and he really didn’t want to make things worse but he evidently has and not only that but jay is there witnessing his massive fuck up in action. and u can just tell from the body language that he straight up doesn’t know what to do or say so he’s just kinda floundering bc he really thought he could fix what had happened with pam bc what? he half talked jay into giving callum a promotion? bless him lmao

then he goes full grovel mode - even if he is still very ben about it - and is leaving him voicemails (meaning he’s tried to call him multiple times, he probably tried texting too lmao) and moping abt in the cafe looking all sad and stressed and it’s just so good bc he knows he fucked up and he’s trying not to let it fester which is a v good and v adult thing to do. plus the juxtaposition of ben being like ‘u know ur gonna forgive me so stop being a diva and call me back’ and then that soft little ‘please 🥺’ tacked on the end??? delicious

and then pam walking up to him and standing there and just sighing. like not a word, she just stands there and sighs like dkjfkjsdkfjlsdkf mood !!

no but ok that whole scene of ben and pam in the cafe really had me welling up like just. everything about it. the layers to it all. and i won’t sit here and dissect every little thing even tho i probably could bc we’d be here all day but like just. all of it.

like pam’s exasperation at ben not telling her about him and callum (bc obviously she’s found out from someone - probably honey, who wouldn’t think to lie abt it if pam asked outright), ben not even being marginally surprised that she knows bc even he must know how obvious he’s been, and she was bound to find out from someone. the fact that he jumped when she raised her voice and pointed at him - i could make a whole separate post about that honestly that just. says so much about ben. but yh.... the fact that she knew without him even having to open his mouth that ben was gonna say it was to spare her feelings (like that’s essentially what he says to callum later in the ep). the fact that he didn’t really have a good excuse to offer her and he knew that. his sad little face and the fact that he made himself smaller and ducked his head like just his body language in general (max bowden is SO good at playing on that shit, he has a way of making ben seem physically smaller in certain situations and i love it sm). ben being like ‘idk i thought it’d be easier’ and pam immediately being like ‘yeah for u not callum!!!’ like the ‘u silly boy!!’ was so heavily implied throughout this whole scene u can practically taste it.

and pam! pam manages to effectively have a go at ben and call him out on his shit without belittling him or being cruel or nasty (and no naming names but like. certain mothers could learn a thing or two 👀) and actually have ben listen to her. because she listens to him and hears him and respects and loves him and he respects and loves her so she can have a go at him and his back won’t go up and he won’t lash out because he knows she’s not going to try and hurt him or be unnecessarily harsh. and that’s why their relationship is so special. also i’m still v bitter abt the way kathy handled calling out ben’s shit as opposed to how pam handled it but 🤷🏻‍♀️

like it’s such a little thing but it’s the way she waited for ben to speak. ben said ‘i didn’t-’ and then cut himself off, obviously either struggling to find the right words or struggling to say them out loud, and she just waited for him. waited for him to find the words, to figure out how to say it. she didn’t rush him or try and put words in his mouth or anything, she just sat there quietly, patiently waiting for ben to explain himself in his own time. that is the difference between her and everyone else, and that’s why ben listens to her. because she listens to him - and i mean really, actually listens rather than just hearing the sound of his voice ygm

and then they get too the root of it all: paul. he says he didn’t want pam thinking he’d forgotten paul - which is only half true, imo. i think he was (and maybe still is) just as scared that he’s going to forget paul. i think he has a lot of unaddressed issues when it comes to paul and what happened in general. and i think he definitely needed permission specifically from les and/or pam that it was ok for him to move on now - bc other ppl have tried to tell him that but u can tell from how he’s reacted in the past that he doesn’t like ppl who didn’t really know paul talking abt what he would or wouldn’t want. but pam did know paul, probably better than anyone. and she’s telling him that it’s ok. that she wants him to be happy, and that’s exactly what paul would want too. and she would know - she’s his nan. so ben can allow himself to listen to her. he trusts her, trusts that she would know what paul would want, how he would feel. and now he has permission to let go of the past a little bit and finally start moving on.

and that’s hard!! like as much as he might like callum, that’s still a hard thing to do for him!! you can see on his face that it’s hard for him to digest and accept what pam’s telling him - that maybe it’s finally time to let go. it’s just as hard for him to confess that yeah, he does care about callum - he gives her the tiniest nod of the head because he can hardly even bring himself to say it, but he can’t deny it either. and it’s hard for pam too, is the thing. you can from the way her voice shakes as she tells him it’s time to start showing callum that he cares how hard she’s trying not to cry. not because she’s not being sincere, not bc she doesn’t mean it or she doesn’t want ben to move on and be happy, but it’s still a hard thing. the world has moved on without paul, and now ben - the last link to him in a lot of ways - is too, and as necessary and as good as that is for him, it doesn’t make it any easier for them. grief is a weird and difficult thing and i think they both did a good job of portraying the struggle of it in this scene.

and then them having this moment right at the end at the end where they’re just smiling at each other w their heads rested together and it’s not an easy thing and they’re both obviously a bit upset and broken but it’s so sincere and warm and she just pulls him in and kisses his head and he just lets himself be comforted by her and by this point i had a big lump in my chest bc it was a very real and important and sweet moment and i was a lil overwhelmed

the tiny mick and callum scene!! i want more of them!!! we haven’t had a proper mick and callum scene since before the wedding i think and i know realistically it’s bc danny dyer has been doin other stuff and hasn’t been filming much and then when he has been filming obv the focus has been on the ollie/linda stuff but!! i miss them and it was so good to see them acknowledge that they haven’t seen each other much and for mick to acknowledge callum’s relationship w ben (calling it ‘matters of the heart’ 🥺️) it was just Good i love their relationship sm and i miss them and i need more!!

mick being so happy to see pam was just !!!!!!!!!! like everyone loves pam!!!!!!! please can she come back and stay forever pls

ben’s face when he tried to approach callum only for callum to turn his back on him like that boy was CRUSHED and he didn’t know what to do like he just stood there for a moment unsure what to do w himself and it was Gud

the shot of callum drinking his beer looking all mopey and dejected with ben staring at the back of his head obviously pining even if he wasn’t in focus and then pam telling ben to basically get his shit together and fix this and practically shoving him towards callum while ben’s lookin like he’s trying to psych himself up and mick’s just there looking between all of them trying to figure the whole thing out??? high art

ben approaching callum looking visibly nervous and out of his depth... and then callum seeming genuinely surprised that ben had come over... bye

the fact that the first thing ben said was ‘i’m sorry’!!! ben saying he understands why callum flipped out the way he did!!! callum saying he understands that ben was just trying to help!!!! ben acknowledging that callum is hurt and upset and then explaining why he did what he did and how he felt but still acknowledging that he hurt callum!!! the fucking communication!!!!!!!! like honestly it hasn’t been smooth sailing for these two so far but they always seem to be surprisingly good at communicating and talking when smth is going wrong, at least after the fact (esp ben) and i LOVE that it’s so healthy!!

callum doing the very callum thing and being like ‘it’s fine, i get it’ even tho he’s clearly still upset bc he doesn’t wanna rock the boat but then ben being like ‘no, it’s not fine! what i did is not fine! you don’t have the pretend that it is!’ and callum seeming lowkey taken aback by that :-(

(pam and mick just watching on in the background of all of this like the pseudo parents they are like honestly??? maybe the best part of the scene LMAO)

that little bit of nervousness before ben says ‘you’re my boyfriend’ like he said it in a very sure way but you could tell he was nervous bless him... and then the way callum’s face lit up but he tried to hide it and not smile and play it cool with his ‘you’ve never called me that before’ but then it cuts back to ben who has the biggest smile on his face but u can tell he’s tryna suppress it a lil too but failing miserably AND THEN shy ben makes an appearance w his little ‘well you are, aren’t ya?’ like he just wants to be sure!! he wants to ask so callum has the opportunity to say no (though judging by both of their faces he knew callum wasn’t gonna say no lmao) but he’s still ben so he’s gotta ask in this roundabout way... man it’s so cute

combine that with callum’s little pout and squint like he was pretending he really had to think abt it and the tone of his little ‘yeah’ like he was like ‘i suppose so’.... the subtle banter of it all i love it.... but he can’t keep it up for long bc then he’s the one with a massive smile on his face like bro... the sun doesn’t even shine that bright

and then ben’s little disbelieving ‘yeah?’ like he had to make sure :-(

AND JUST PAM AND MICK BEING LIKE AWWW WHEN THEY KISSED AND MICK BEING LIKE ‘HOW LOVELY’ AND JUST STANDING THERE SMILING AT THEM IT TOOK ME OUT FR

ben asking callum if he’s happy and callum tapping ben’s chin and telling him he is...................... the two of them looking at each other Like That....... talented brilliant incredible amazing etc

pam being like ‘my work here is done’ i love HER

ben making a point of being like ‘pam i want you to meet my boyfriend’ he’s so fuckin cute i love him

the whole pam and callum exchange from the hug to her holding his hand and telling him how lucky he is to have ben and then telling callum that ben has the biggest heart of anyone she knows but saying it to ben bc she knows he needs to hear that too bc like... when has anyone EVER said that about ben?? when has anyone ever thought that about ben?? but she sees through all the bullshit and sees him for the kind, soft-hearted, loving but equally damaged boy he really is and she wants callum to know and understand that but also for ben to know that too and i’m crying just thinking about it bc you can see ben’s face change and how emotional he starts to get not only bc it’s pam and everything that must be going through his head abt paul, but also just?? someone being kind to him?? saying smth nice?? god i’m broken

like pam really almost had me in tears in this scene genuinely esp when she was clearly getting emotional (as was ben) and she took both of their hands and told them to look after each other, given everything that happened with paul, and them both saying ‘we will’.... like that really fucked me up.... it felt like a Moment.... and then follow that up w pam and ben resting their heads against each other and whispering ‘i love you’ and it was so warm and full of love and adoration .... the ‘i hate goodbyes’.... the palm kiss.... the fact that ben looked like he was abt to cry as pam left... i was a broken woman truly

and then they just went on as if nothing happened and they didn’t just have a very significant relationship moment with the ‘i am lucky’ ‘i’m glad you realize it’ banter lmao

ben being like ‘u have the support of ur boyfriend 🥰️’ when callum was explaining he wanted to leave the parlour like he really couldn’t keep that word out of his mouth huh 🥺️

and the way he grabbed callum’s hand but only managed to get 3 fingers and then callum putting his hand on top of ben’s like for some reason that really fucked me up......... like gays and hands am i right

the journey ben’s face went on when callum told him he wanted to join the police.... the way it went from ‘haha good joke’ to ‘..................... wait he’s being serious’ to ‘oh god what the fuck’ was amazing lmao

and then him interrupting jay and lola w his massive dramatic freak out was so fucking funny like the way jay just shoved lola off his lap when ben come in KILLED me honestly and like ben’s on the verge of a breakdown and his brother and the mother of his child are just taking the piss and laughing at his expense.......... i love family

yeah so perhaps i went a bit overboard w this one but i did make you wait like a week and a half so perhaps this will make up for it lmao ??? but rlly tho i loved this ep sm there was so much good abt it and i want to keep pam forever thank u for ur time 💖💖

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Billie

Edie: You’re not at home, are you?

Billie: Why?

Edie: ‘cos Rih has to babysit and you are the last phone a friend that needs to be eliminated 👾

Billie: 💀🔋 if anyone but you is asking

Edie: that’s the 👻

Edie: Even convinced Jun to get the fuck out

Billie: with what 👻? 👽 ?👾 🤡 ?🎃 🤖? madness

Edie: 👻 ish

Edie: there’s some exhibit at some museum, idk, it actually wasn’t my idea so I can’t take cred

Billie: 🦖 🦴 🦕 was next guess

Billie: safe that the 👻 🔮 came through with a plan

Edie: 👽 more like

Edie: that’s the best I can do with emojis anyway

Billie: 💬 💬 💬 💬

Edie: I met the most perfect boy

Billie: Dude not you catching a dose too 🚱

Edie: I’ve gone outside of the gene pool so it is not the same thing at all

Billie: 👍 start

Billie: Go on, what else has he got going for him?

Edie: Only everything

Edie: he’s perfect, I just said

Edie: You know that really tall, ridiculously good-looking boy in Rih’s year

Billie: 🤨 💭 ?

Billie: it’ll come to me

Billie: Aha! The one who [some rave story she’s heard of something wild he did]

Edie: I don’t know how you didn’t just KNOW but yeah

Edie: that sounds like him 🤩

Billie: he’s been working at ⛽️ [the location of said petrol station like whatever road it’s on] nights I’ve gone in

Edie: That’s good to know

Edie: I can go in too now

Edie: 💡

Billie: 👻

Edie: It’s so weird how we met actually

Edie: the thread has 90k people on it, what are the chances, how does that happen

Billie: spooky how many posts you could’ve missed before, weird if he ain’t wrote any til today & then replied to yours 🔮 🛸 🧲

Edie: He’s deffo been on there before, I recognised the username

Edie: but he mentioned somewhere in Dublin so then I knew he was at least from around here

Edie: I’d have never talked to him before, it’s deffo fate

Billie: fated if he agreed the monster was a copout reveal

Edie: He’s not 12, so duh

Edie: He’s so cool

Billie: It’s defs him?

Edie: Come on, like I’m gonna get catfished

Billie: this is wild odds, all I’m saying

Edie: It would be weirder if they worked out where I went to School, and then picked some boy who also went to that School to use

Edie: anyway, he’s sent me stuff today so I know it’s really him

Billie: he does look like someone to use for 🎣 but I can picture him on that thread loads

Edie: 🤤🤤🤤

Edie: Do you think he’ll come see me

Billie: yeah, why not

Edie: Aforementioned hotness, he could get ANY girl

Edie: I don’t know who he has gone out with before

Edie: didn’t he go out with one of Rih’s friends for a while?

Billie: [a pause while she has a convo with her friends about this because she has many and they’re mostly lads so at least some of them must know him or have some info]

Billie: Last seen with Lexie but that was time ago & nobody since

Edie: Hmm

Edie: I’m nothing like Lexie

Billie: he ain’t still with her & wasn’t for long, I’d assume he’s looking for different

Edie: and that’s me 🥴

Edie: charming 😏

Billie: 👽

Billie: She hasn’t said anything ☢️⚠️ I’m hearing now, that’s chill

Edie: she’s a bitch anyway, I wouldn’t trust her

Billie: if Blips is accurate on his timeline, even she couldn’t be that much of a bitch

Edie: ?

Billie: Everything with his sister was fresh then, apparently

Edie: Oh

Edie: I remember her, she had a nice smile

Billie: I don’t think I ever met her, it’s gone out my head if I did

Billie: the memorial he made for her is sicker than anything the teachers would’ve though, we hang there constantly

Billie: Take this info with 🧂 yeah? the source is Blips

Edie: She was a lot older

Edie: would’ve been, your paths probably didn’t cross

Edie: makes sense

Edie: he would’ve wanted someone around

Billie: makes sense he’s not thinking straight to pick Lexie to be that someone, but idk man, you can have your fill of pity quick enough

Edie: Maybe someone in her family died? I can see that and making that connection

Edie: not a sibling obviously or we’d know but she’s pretty dramatic, like all Rih’s friends are

Billie: not above milking a dead nan, bet

Edie: 💭 exactly

Edie: Poor Liam, that’s kinda fucking gross

Billie: bad taste in my mouth from being the messenger

Edie: I won’t say it was ages ago because that’d feel a bit like spitting on her grave but you know

Edie: fuck Lizzie or whatever her name is

Edie: she’s probably had 100 lads since then

Billie: Yeah, fuck Lizzie

Billie: what’s next for you & him?

Edie: I don’t know

Edie: I sort of asked him to come ‘round but not just like that

Edie: so his answer was as open-ended, I guess

Edie: I really hope he does though

Billie: he doesn’t know you’re unshockable & didn’t wanna freak you out by coming through the window on a real dark & stormy night

Billie: tracks if Lexie is his point of ref, she’s known for saying what she don’t mean

Edie: ugh, she’s really fucked that up for me

Edie: I should go cockblock her too

Edie: that’s a good idea actually

Billie: You could roll up if he’s working, let him know you’re not alike

Edie: If I roll up on her, he will 😈

Billie: 😶 cos idk how he rolls

Edie: You think he’ll be 😱 / 🤬

Billie: He could think you’re jealous, which would put you looking like her 🤡

Billie: lads always go to that headspace

Edie: most lads

Edie: like your mates who can’t spell their own names without checking with their ma first

Edie: I don’t think he’s like that

Billie: I’ll bite, what’s he like?

Edie: emojis weren’t covering it but I dunno if I even can with actual words either

Edie: he’s like no one else I’ve ever spoken to, I wasn’t bored, and he wasn’t weirded out

Billie: You weren’t even a bit bored?

Edie: nah

Edie: I felt like I was barely keeping up

Billie: 🤯

Edie: but he wasn’t trying to be impressive how lads do, because that isn’t

Billie: he was waiting for whatever he sent to impress you, which worked

Edie: he sent me lots of stuff

Edie: not 🍆 pics

Billie: he looks like he’d be a fuckboy

Edie: right?

Edie: he’s got too much about him though

Edie: I would’ve gone with it if he wanted, he had the chance

Billie: 🤯🤯

Edie: come on

Edie: you can see him

Billie: & I can hear you, you don’t say this kinda shit about anyone

Edie: I know, I’m deadly serious

Edie: 💀💀💀

Billie: What a day

Edie: Don’t tell anyone else yet though

Edie: I think he feels it too

Edie: but just in case

Billie: 🤐

Billie: he blatantly does, but that’s up to yous two to broadcast if you want, how you want

Billie: I’m just excited for the reveal 🎟 🍿 📺 🕹 📷 💻 📼 💿

Edie: He makes films too

Edie: and I’m writing a song right now

Billie: link me

Edie: [do, at least the ones that are clearly not private or whatever]

Edie: 😍

Billie: Cool, I’m gonna check these while you go 😈 on Lexie

Edie: If you hear her scream, no you didn’t

Edie: 😘✌️

Billie: not her 🩸 🦷 🦴 got it

Edie: only partly

Edie: she’s only 3rd on my shit-list, after-all

Billie: if I give you away with a new tic, no I didn’t & they’ll never convict 🤪✌️

Edie: so lucky you can shout ableism if it comes down to it

Edie: ADHD is an excuse for nothing except maybe being five minutes late 🙄

Billie: I’m not going for that with a free pass to shout out at the law 🐷 🐽 🐖 🥓

Edie: you can brag about your free pass, I only get caught when I want to ☠️✊

Billie: not a humble brag you can throw out to your new man, going off these locations I’m recognising, he’s got skills at never getting caught

Billie: How’d he get into [somewhere he should not be]?!

Edie: that’d be telling 🤫

Edie: I told you, he’s really smart

Billie: How didn’t we have a clue about him pretty much?

Edie: because he looks like a fuckboy, I suppose

Edie: you know Rih is gonna act like he’s a decade older than me because she thinks she’s so mature

Billie: 🙄

Edie: I can’t wait to call her out on her bullshit again with something new to add

Edie: can’t wait for the opposition like she’s got a leg left

Billie: She’ll run out fast, he’s cool

Edie: She’s not

Edie: but whatever, she can’t do anything

Billie: No chill, but he’s barely older, so if that’s her only 🔫

Edie: and he went out with Lexie ages ago, well, basically

Edie: she can’t act like she’s really good friends with him, I KNOW she isn’t

Billie: & she wasn’t in Lexie face not to go out with him, couldn’t cos there’s nothing wrong with him 🤷🏼‍♀️

Edie: you act like she’s rational but yeah

Edie: I don’t care, I know this is right

Edie: and what I want

Billie: She’s not, like, irrational enough to be hating on your happiness

Edie: I hate on hers

Billie: that’s different

Edie: not to her

Billie: Yeah but in terms of you & Liam

Edie: If she tries to be nice that’ll be even worse 😷

Billie: minding her own business isn’t gonna happen

Edie: I wish she’d keep hers to herself

Edie: I can’t stand it when he’s here

Edie: I’ll kill Lizzie and steal her bed

Billie: least you can stay at his soon

Edie: 😋

Billie: [frames of one of the videos cos the location is some end of summer event, why not] & you’ll be there together this year

Edie: You really think?

Billie: I don’t think you’ll be dumped quicker than Lexie

Edie: Damn fucking right

Edie: even if he was after one thing, I could do it better than her

Billie: [deletes that message like I don’t wanna read about your sexcapades thank you]

Billie: 🎧 🔊

Edie: [retypes it more vividly which I won’t subject you to lmao]

Billie: NAH

Edie: 😂😂😂

Edie: you’re alright, I’ve got another level to my mission now

Edie: [deets of the scavenger hunt thing]

Billie: Did he sort it for you?

Edie: Yep 😍

Billie: this lad

Billie: unreal

Edie: I think I’m in love

Billie: Someone offer to make him for you in a lab? getting sus otherwise

Edie: That would make sense

Edie: he’s way too perfect

Edie: not that I’m mad

Billie: 🏩 💕 💐 🧸 💞

Edie: 💍💒👶

Billie: [deletes that like calm down lol]

Edie: 👶👶👶👶👶👶👶 maybe

Billie: When’s the [some meteor shower or comet that’d feel very fated and cosmic and therefore we must]? invite him to that first

Edie: 🛸

Edie: I just need to think of a way to tell him where and when

Billie: You’ll be looking up for it, makes sense if he has to 👀⬆️ to find out

Billie: I’d put something on his roof

Edie: About the only place he’d genuinely have to look up to see

Edie: might be less literal

Edie: 💻

Billie: that’ll work too

Edie: plus if you reckon he’ll think I’m mental for hitting up Linda, finding out where he lives without asking will really tip it

Billie: romantic gestures are mental, less of a public ambush than most are

Edie: Everything fun is

Billie: Yeah, but nothing’s fun about getting asked out in the hallway between lessons or whatever 💩 is meant to pass for 😍

Edie: Well yeah, that’s too American teen drama for words

Edie: are his friends gonna be standing there pissing themselves at you believing it even for a sec

Billie: if it’s me his mates are stood about meowing cos some tics refuse to 💀

Edie: That’s cute

Edie: at least you aren’t saying some embarrassing untrue shit

Billie: my true form is 🐱 🐈 & I’m saying the truest shit since 👶🏼 🧒🏼

Edie: I know enough not to throw out suggestions for your head to grab but I’ve seen people saying wild things that you’d get eaten alive for

Edie: but duh, how else did we end up with you

Billie: I know not to watch that shit & maybe 🐦 it but yeah, love to my non-verbals 😝 😜 🤪 ✌️ 🖕 👍

Billie: & to ma for never meeting a stray she didn’t love

Edie: I’ll wait ‘til you wrong me ‘fore I add you to the shit list and send ‘em your way

Edie: tRIGgeRd ❗️❗️❗️❗️

Edie: 💗

Billie: Well I ain’t gonna develop a convenient new 👊 one OR pull a Lexie & wheel out my dead relative to steal your bf 💚

Edie: Ha, don’t

Billie: wouldn’t know what to do with him after using him as a 🛹 ramp & 🚴🏼‍♀️ jump

Edie: I’m the only one allowed to jump him tah

Billie: 😷

Edie: Okay I need to focus on this last one

Edie: see you at home

Billie: k

Billie: see you soon 🏴‍☠️