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blainesebastian · 1 day

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words: 7,823 ship: austin butler x female reader rating: R (for violence) summary: obviously inspo is coming from seeing bikeriders and this image and my extensive knowledge of sons of anarchy. you don't have to watch that show to read this, but it takes place in that sort of universe, with inspo from the show *u* just wanted biker austin x you notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist warnings: none, but check the rating.

Every time Austin thinks he knows exactly who you are, you throw him through a wash cycle on steroids. You came back to Charming, a place you said you’d never step foot in again, for what? It’s certainly not for fucking him, that’s for damn sure. As much as he loves you, still after all this time, Austin knows you have to be running away from something…because running towards what you want with full abandon has never been your strong suit.

And you’re certainly not returning to St. Thomas for the great fucking medical plan.

“I just needed a change of scenery.” You tell him in those mint green scrubs that always highlight the perfect swell of your ass.

Austin rolls his eyes but doesn’t tell you that he thinks you’re full of shit.

Chicago’s too fast paced, maybe you’ll try New York—there’s a beautiful, hopeful smile on your face—like you don’t know that the minute you stepped foot back in Charming that you’d never leave. You’ll get sucked back into the black hole of this place and you’ll never be able to find your way out. Will probably die here.

Whatever—it’s really not Austin’s problem anymore, is it? You are not his girlfriend, he’s not responsible for your happiness or your decisions. That ship sailed a long time ago when you left straight out of high school—went to a fancy college, got your medical degree, and began a new life.

Without him.

And yet Austin also understands the utter pull of you, consistently keeping him directly in your orbit, your wants and needs incredibly important because they always have been. Which is why Austin doesn’t believe you when you say that you didn’t come back for any sort of reason.

He doesn’t believe this ‘change of scenery’ nonsense.

You patch up a split knuckle, dig out glass—Austin doesn’t even flinch, just watches you the whole time like he doesn’t have blood on his face. You have no idea what he’s gotten into lately—and you don’t want to know.

“Think I’m gonna make it doc?” He asks, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth.

You hum lightly, “Barely.” And pour the antiseptic without warning him.

You hate that you came back here, back home—but Austin’s always been your safe place.

“I think you’re scared.” Austin says one evening while dropping you off at your dad’s house, empty now, a living and breathing reminder of all the shit you went through in high school.

You never wanted to live here, in your drunken father’s home, always more satisfied with the concept of burning the thing down. Yet here you are, taking off Austin’s motorcycle helmet and handing it back to him, looking for your keys to get inside. You’re living here, attempting to reorganize and rebuild the place to make it your own.

“I think you don’t know me as well as you used to.” You throw back and there’s a hint of teasing there, like you don’t want to turn this conversation into something serious.

Austin rubs one of his eyebrows, itching for a cigarette but now’s not the time, he’s not staying long. “I think…I’m the only person who does know you.” He’s not afraid to admit that. You’ve done this dance so many times that you practically own the rights to the choreography.

You’ve proven time and time again that you’ve got nails and teeth sunk into one another, so wrapped up that you can’t unravel it as hard as you try. No matter how much time or distance passes between you two. It’s so beyond anything that Austin can put into words—he doesn’t really believe in soulmates or fate but, if he did, he thinks him and you could put a definition to that.

That’s why Austin knows that you’re never going to leave Charming, not really anyways.

You’ll be in love until it kills both of you, figuratively or quite literally.

“That’s the real reason you came back, isn’t it?”

You sigh softly—after a long day, your hair is a little unruly on the top of your head. You’re ready for a long hot shower and to get out of these scrubs. Austin only wishes he could assist with that. He lets his eyes travel over your form, purposely checking you out when you look at him. But you both know it’s more than just a sexual attraction here, that Austin defaults to that because it’s easier for him to work out in his head. While it’s very clear that there’s only one face he sees when he’s inside of someone, no one will ever know or understand him as you do.

That line of deeply knowing goes both ways.

“I told you why I came back here.”

Austin smiles a little and starts his bike. Fine, if you wants to play this game, he’s got nothing but time.

“Right,” He puts his helmet on, making sure it’s fastened. “I just don’t believe you.”

And he backs the bike out of the driveway and goes home.

Austin doesn’t figure out what’s going on until you ask for a ride home in the middle of the day. It’s a little weird, to say the least, he’s in the midst of things with the club, his club leader riding his ass about certain decisions he needs to uphold as Vice President. But literally, he couldn’t be bothered less, not having one iota of a regret driving his bike to the hospital to pick up you instead.

You seem a bit frazzled when you climb on the back of Austin’s bike, your arms squeezing around his waist just a little too tightly. Austin frowns, looking over his shoulder as he hands you the helmet to put on,

“You alright?” He asks.

You nod quickly, forcing a soft smile, “Yeah, just a long shift. M’tired.”

“You didn’t drive today?” Austin starts his bike—not that he’s complaining.

“Oh I did but the…it’s making a weird noise when I use the break.”

Austin raises his eyebrows, putting a pair of sunglasses on. “You know I work at a garage, right?”

You let out a soft laugh, the sound fluttering Austin’s stomach even after all this time. “Just take me home.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He does a fake salute before pulling out of the hospital parking lot.

Austin’s got this wicked sense of observation mixed with paranoia—and he’s convinced this is why it makes him a decent V.P., being able to notice when things are off, when things appear altered than how they should. Sometimes catching tiny mistakes and misnomers are the difference between a good deal going sour, life and death.

So he instantly picks up on the fact that there’s a car following you both, all the way from the hospital to your house. Even though the vehicle doesn’t stop, it passes and parks a little further down, but it’s there, nonetheless.

You get off the bike, handing the helmet back to him, a soft coy smile on your face that makes Austin want to kiss you. Your hair is wild, cheeks a bit pink from the wind blowing, beautiful and stunning all at once.

“Thanks.” You say, adjusting your satchel from sitting on your back to your hip, “Think I’m finally getting used to this thing again.”

Austin hums a bit, parking it before he slips off the bike. He runs his hands through his hair, removing his riding gloves and pocketing them, before adjusting the leather cut that sits easily on his shoulders.

Easy and yet heavy sometimes, all at once.

“Yeah I never understood why you hated ridin’ it, I’m an excellent driver.” Which, alright, he’s a decent driver—he goes through turns too fast but he tries not to if you’re on with him.

You’re distracted though, not picking up the bait, glancing around your driveway as if you’re…looking for something, or someone. Austin licks his lips, putting the helmet on the back of the seat.

“Hey, this uneasiness that I’m sensin’ right now—have anythin’ to do with that car that followed us from the hospital?” He motions with his chin to the car he’s referring to idling down a few houses.

Your entire body suddenly goes rigid, eyes widening over Austin’s words. You follow Austin’s direction down the street and you look sick when your eyes land on the car. There’s this instinctual step back, like you’re afraid, and Austin moves closer to touch your arm.

He steadies you, squeezing gently, thumb running along the inside of your wrist, “Hey, what’s going on? Who is that?”

You sigh, running a shaking hand over your face. You swallow and finally bring your eyes to meet Austin’s, “His name is Rick—when I was in Chicago, I—I met him at a conference and we went out a few times. When I tried to end it, it got violent and he started stalking me,” You shake your head, embarrassment clear on your choked voice even though you have nothing to be ashamed for. “I tried getting a restraining order but you can see how well that worked out.”

Austin feels himself go cold, which is never a good sign. That’s how his rage works, like a slow ticking clock, never heated, never like an explosion of emotion. It sits on him calmly, like a wave lapping the shore of a beach. He straightens his shoulders, shaking his head as he goes to turn and address this fucking asshole who can’t take no for an answer.

“Austin, no,” You reach for him, managing to tug his arm to stop him from walking, “Rick’s—he’s an ATF agent and dangerous.”

Austin almost scoffs because so am I, but he knows what you mean. You know exactly what kind of business his club does and getting involved with an ATF agent will only bring trouble down upon everyone.

But Austin’s so fucking angry that he doesn’t care, he’s always felt like he’s had the uncanny ability to think in steps ahead, consider his future, but if you’re here? You’re a part of that future now. And he’s not going to let this Rick guy think he can just follow you here all the way from Chicago and threaten you.

“Go inside, Y/N.” Austin motions to the house, not looking back as he walks towards the car in question.

Rick, who has fucking binoculars, drops them quickly when he realizes Austin is approaching the car and not stopping. He also seems to get the point when Austin pulls his weapon of choice, a hunting knife, from the holster on his jeans and sticks right through the grill of Rick’s car.

Rick quickly gets out, his face red with pinched anger as the car begins to smoke. “Vandalism, deadly weapon.” He snaps and slams the car door closed. He’s shorter than Austin and a lot angrier, which is amusing to him, “That's six months in County, asshole.”

Austin can see what you maybe thought about this guy. He’s handsome with his strong jaw and cropped hair, eyes intense. Any member of law enforcement gives off a false aura of calm because they’re supposed to be people anyone can trust. It’s almost ironic that you feel safer with a criminal. Almost.

He throws shit right back at Rick as he takes his knife out of the grill, putting it back in the holster, “Violating a restraining order? You'll be in the cell next to mine.” He grins then, licking his lips as his eyes skitter over Rick’s body, “They reach how to suck dick in ATF school?”

Rick laughs, not even looking remotely interested but Austin doesn’t care. He’s trying to make him uncomfortable because clearly he doesn’t give a shit about doing the same to you. Besides, Austin knows that he’s not really angry about the car, or even about Austin approaching him per say, he’s pissed off that someone is getting in the way of him fucking around with you.

“Badass biker.” Rick tuts, shaking his head as he looks over Austin, like it would be a pleasure of his to ruin his life.

Austin is not fucking scared of this piece of shit, “You harassing Y/N? That ends here.” He tells him, “Or the next time it won't be this car that I'm drainin’ fluid from.” He goes to take a step back because regardless of the stance Rick is pulling, he can tell that he’s rattled him just a little bit.

All of this is probably a terrible idea given the situation that the club is in right now but he refuses to let you take the brunt of dealing with this asshole alone.

“You threatening a federal agent?” Rick snaps out, pissed off that he’s been made to look like an idiot. Which, Austin doesn’t think that’s too far of a stretch, really.

He turns, giving Rick a good once over before taking a few steps into his space. He purposely uses his height difference to look down at him when he speaks, “I'm threaten’ you. Go away—it's my last warning.”

As Austin walks away, he just hopes it’s enough.

Things slightly escalate from there. Rick does not fuck off like Austin hoped or intended but he supposes he shouldn’t exactly be surprised, either. He suspects that he might hang around, maybe show up at your work, but what he doesn’t expect is when Rick surprises him when Austin is attempting to run errands. And not just any type of errand, though most don’t know that, but he’s not really just visiting this deli because he enjoys the chipped ham.

Rick wanders in as Austin talks to the butcher, their conversation shifting to something safer because of the company.

One thing happens after another, Rick gets in his face and Austin can’t control his temper even though he knows he should—that this is one giant trap to catch him off guard. And yet he falls right into it because the minute Rick opens his mouth about you, Austin’s fist is flying through the air.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Rick smirks, sticking his hands in his pockets as he stands by one of the display cases with meat inside, pretending to look interested. “Y/N and I have unfinished business…and I intend on talking that out with her, in bed, with her spread out beneath me.” It’s very much a whether you like it or not attitude and Austin hits Rick so fucking hard that he sails through the glass window of the deli.

Not his finest moment.

And yet he has zero regrets as he sits in a police interview room, icing his right fist as another ATF agent graces him with his presence. Greg Thornson with his bony-ass frame, closing the door with his foot because he’s knee-deep in a file that no doubt has every wrongdoing he’s ever committed since high school.

The usual dog and pony show that any of these police agents try to shake them up with.

Austin’s so used to this, he knows his expression screams ‘boredom’ and that for some reason makes Greg smile, putting the file down on the table. He sits across from him, regarding Austin for a moment and he bites his tongue on saying anything he might regret.

The point in all this is to get back to you, not to end up in a holding cell for the night. So he straightens his shoulders and looks right back at Greg, a challenging look to his eye.

The shorter smiles, “So, we’re not going to hold you—even though you assaulted a federal agent.”

Austin purses his lips and lightly shrugs his shoulders, not saying a goddamn word. He knows exactly what story Ronnie Peterson, the deli owner, gave to the police.

“Mr. Peterson corroborates your story that Rick Clarington came at you first.” Greg sounds not moved at the slightest by that but Austin doesn’t care.

He smiles, “Can I go now?”

Greg hums but before Austin can stand and leave, “Why does Clarington have a hard-on for you?”

“Who doesn't?” The corners of Austin’s mouth twitch up but then sighs—Thornson might enjoy a little game of distractions but Austin’s goal is to keep himself as much under the radar as possible. So he shifts gears, giving him a long look, “You know why.”

Greg smiles, closing the file in front of him. Austin obviously doesn’t know Greg very well, other than the briefest of introductions when he first walked in (just what he needs, another ATF agent up his ass), but he can tell that he’s in this job title for the ‘cat and mouse’ game of it all. Austin’s not a typical criminal, he doesn’t squirm, especially when he knows that that’s the goal Greg has with this conversation.

He’s digging, pulling at straws, anything to give him the upper hand.

“You're right, I do.” Greg taps the table with his fingertips, “Y/N L/N, the charming ingenue. High school sweethearts, right?”

Austin’s face gives nothing away but he does nod softly in confirmation, “Yeah.”

He can literally see the wheels turning in Greg’s head, the shorter making an impressed noise as he glances down at Austin’s bloody knuckles, “She fears for her life so she comes back home to the only man she knows loves her enough to protect her.”

His expression matches stone, unsure of what Greg wants out of this other than to just catch him off guard, but he’s literally got nothing to say as far as he and you are concerned. There’s also not that much to tell—he and you were dating in high school; it was one of the strongest connections he’s ever had to anyone. And that hasn’t changed—Austin doesn’t think it ever will.

“A guy…” Greg trails off for a moment, “who would have no problem punching a federal agent through a glass window.”

“The glass window part was an accident.”

Greg lets out a soft laugh, nodding, “So Ronnie the butcher says. Rick apparently pulled a weapon on you—made threats, you had no choice.” There’s practically disbelief hanging on every syllable.

Austin shrugs again, flexing his sore fingers against the ice pack, “Well, if that’s what Ronnie said.”

Greg licks his lips, glancing over his shoulder as the door opens up, another officer with paperwork to detail the statement Austin gave. He nods his head, knowing he’ll have to let him go soon, despite the sparring conversation.

“Beautiful, really, it is. I wish I had that kind of pull over for someone. You're a lucky man.”

Austin feels something ugly dig under his skin at the sentiment because he knows it’s not a compliment by any means. He refuses to give Greg the satisfaction that he obviously craves but a few thoughts do worm their way in the back of Austin’s mind: did you come back to Charming because of him? Because you knew what he’d do the moment Austin learned about Rick threatening you? Because you felt safe? Wanted? Loved here? Does any of that really matter since you’re back? Austin may feel slightly manipulated given the situation but…even if you only came back for this very reason, you’re still here, aren’t you?

Somehow, that’s all Austin cares about.

“You done?” Austin asks, a little steel to his voice.

Greg smiles and nods lightly, Austin getting up from the table and leaving the ice pack behind.

Austin leans against the back of your couch, watching the you pace for a few moments. He’s not trying to pressure you into talking or anything, he’s practically got the CliffsNotes of what’s happening anyways. In general, he’d just like to touch base with you because it’s been a week since Austin’s made threats at Rick and nothing has really happened (other than that lovely conversation with Thornson, time he’ll never get back, but he supposes that’s his fault for throwing a punch at a federal agent).

Austin suspects anything else is only a matter of time. Rick doesn’t seem like the type to respond to warnings well or go away quietly.

“I’m confused, what else did you want me to do?”

You stop pacing, looking up at Austin with an almost startled expression as you’re drawn out of your thoughts. You’re in a pair of blue jeans and a nice button-down sheer blouse—so different than the scrubs you usually wear but just as beautiful.

“I didn’t want you to do anything.”

Austin narrows his eyes, “Right, really?”

You give him a look as you slowly cross your arms over your chest. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He lets out a slow breath, leaning up from the couch. He doesn’t want to argue with you at any rate and maybe he is letting the conversation with Thornson get to him, but the longer Austin thinks about it, the more it starts to make sense.

Austin rubs the back of his neck, “I think you know exactly what it means.” He raises his eyebrows, taking a long look at you, someone he’s always known like the back of his hand and yet feels so distant to him within this conversation.

“Did you come here because you knew what I’d do to Rick?”

Your mouth opens and closes, “Know…what’d you do?” You scoff, “You—you haven’t done anything.” And there’s the slightest hesitancy in saying that, like there might be something you don’t know.

Austin shakes his head, confirming with a single, “No,” Then, “I haven’t. But push comes to shove, you know I would.”

It doesn’t take much for Austin to figure out how you feel, you practically wear all of your emotions directly on your face. And okay, given this reaction, maybe that’s not why you came home but are you really going to act like that’s not some sort of benefit?

“I didn’t come back for you.” You state and it’s not supposed to sound cruel—that’s not who you are. Meanwhile, Austin on the other hand makes it his mission to dig underneath people’s skin, to read them and know them to understand how to hurt them.

“I didn’t even know if you’d still be here.” You sigh, taking a step towards where Austin is standing, “But if you’re asking if I came back to the last place I felt…put together? Safe? Then yes. That’s why I came back.”

Austin smiles ever so softly, picking his hand up to cup the side of your head. There seems to be a distinct moment where you close your eyes, a rush of relief, a breath you didn’t realize you were holding being released from your chest. “And none of that has to do with me?”

You let out a soft chuckle, shaking your head but you don’t pull away, even when Austin slips one of your loose strands of hair around your ear. You turn your head to press a kiss to Austin’s palm, his other hand moving to bracket the other side of your face. His fingers eventually slip down to hold the sides of your neck, rubbing along the skin soothingly.

“Maybe just a little bit to do with you.” You smile.

Austin licks his lips, smirking, pressing your foreheads together and leaving them to rest for a few long moments. There’s a familiarity there that pulls him in, keeps him treading water, keeping them connected in such a way where it’s hard to tell where you end and Austin begins. He’s never been so much a part of someone and vice versa.

“Regardless of what happens,” Austin says after a moment, “I’m not gonna let anythin’ happen to you, okay?”

You swallow and nod, your noses grazing as he tips your chin.

And that kiss you share feels like home.

It’s a pretty regular night at the clubhouse, another party in half swing where everyone is either piss drunk or on their way to being it. Some other members are playing pool or taking shots directly off of women’s chests, some practically fucking croweaters on the commune couches. Austin is so used to seeing this shit that, at this point, it’s just another Thursday night.

Sam, one of his club leader’s right-hand men, leans against the bar with a boyish grin that deflects from all the terrible things he’s done. The blood Austin has seen in that long blonde hair, the way his hands close around another man’s throat, the bullets he’s fired, the knives he’s cut with. It’s so ironic because you’d never think any of that just by looking at him,

“You don’t want to get in on this?” He asks, motioning to the intoxicating chaos.

Austin takes a brief look around, lifting his beer and taking a sip. “Even if there were half naked women practically throwing themselves at me? Nah,” He pauses, “Just not in the mood tonight.”

Austin’s known Sam nearly his whole life—they grew up together, been through all possible scenarios of the term ‘thick and thin’. Sam sticks around because he knows Austin will take this crown someday, will lead this club, take the reins, or whatever the fuck all this means. He didn’t know his father, not really, only through all the observations and stories and photographs from others.

How is he supposed to figure that shit out?

He doesn’t want it, inherited club royalty or not. Austin would be more satisfied with running away, with taking you out of this fucking place, far away from Charming where no one knows either of you. Starting over like a brand-new book, writing their own chapters.

Even though he knows how unrealistic that is. Doesn’t mean he wants it any less.

“Is this about Y/N?” Sam asks, breaking his concentration.

Austin blinks, considering the question as he takes a long sip of beer. Isn’t it always? Sam can read him far too well and of course knows all about you, what you mean to him—what you’ll always mean to him. He was there when you both first met, when this whole thing started, when you both clutched onto one another tight and refused to let go.

You coming back has just thrown him through an impossible loop.

“No,” He straightens his shoulders, putting a wall up between him and Sam with a grin that masks his face, “Just can’t find anyone who sucks dick as well as you do.”

Sam snorts out a laugh and grabs a bottle from behind the bar to pour shots, “It’s the lips.” He teases.

Austin takes a shot with his friend when he pours it and then decides he’s gotta get out of there before he ends up spending the night with a faceless nobody and a wave of regrets. It’s funny how he hasn’t really thought like that in a while and that definitely has to do with your influence in being back.

He takes a step outside and breathes in the cool Californian air, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. Austin lights a cigarette, taking a long drag that puffs like fog into the atmosphere—he and you have not decided anything about one another. But he knows you, you and him can pick up right where you left off.

It’s hard not to.

His burner cell starts buzzing in his pocket and there’s a half smile on his lips as he sees your number—case in point.

Austin barely gets through a greeting when you are choking out I need you. He has no idea what’s going on and part of him doesn’t want to ask but the sound of your voice causes a sheet of ice to cover the entire inside of his chest as he throws down the cigarette and walks quickly to his bike.

“What happened?”

You sniffle over the line and sigh out syllables that make Austin’s blood run cold, “Rick. Please, can you just—”

“I’m on my way.” Austin hangs up the call, starting his motorcycle and pulling out of the garage parking lot with barely a second thought.

Austin has no idea what’s going on, no clue what he’s walking into but he doesn’t care either (which he may or may not regret later). He didn’t have you elaborate over the phone, wanting to concentrate on getting here faster instead. He parks his bike and rushes off the thing, nearly knocking it over as he goes to the front door of your father’s home and knocks.

You throw open the door, half dressed—bra, underwear, a long sweater barely over top, face with tear tracks on them and—and a gun hanging loosely in your fingertips.

“Jesus Christ,” Austin mumbles, eyes wide and confused as he takes a look at you and slowly closes the front door, “What the fuck happened?”

Though…based off the way you are dressed and the time of night—Austin swallows down a bout of anger as heavy as a cinder block to take care of what’s right in front of him.

“I couldn't stop him.” You shake your head, your entire face pinching. Austin sighs and wraps a strong arm around your shoulders, drawing you into your chest. He squeezes you, his hand working firm circles along your spine, “He came in-in through my back door and just—”

Austin shakes his head, holding you even tighter against him, his jaw working as he puts two and two together. You must have been getting ready for bed or something close to it and Rick put the drop on you.

“Did he—”

A whimpered noise leaves your lips and you press your face further into Austin’s neck. His one hand comes up and laces his fingers through your hair, shushing you gently. He pulls back after a moment—you both need to get ahead of this disaster, whatever is awaiting him, Austin will take care of it.

“Where is he?” He asks, cupping your cheek. He removes a tear track with his thumb.

You sniffle, “The bedroom—”

A short breath leaves Austin’s lips, glancing down at the gun that’s still in your hand. It must be your father’s because you never have been interested in weapons before, not even for means of protection. Whatever happened, it must have been bad enough that you needed to defend yourself.

“Give me that.” Austin takes the gun from you, walking down the long hallway that leads to the bedroom.

Nothing really prepares him for what he sees—the bedroom is a mess, sheets disheveled and Austin really fucking tries to not picture you struggling on top of them to push Rick off. A chair is overturned, broken glass from picture frames falling off the nightstand, and Rick on the ground in the corner—his pants are undone and he’s got his shirt off.

He’s currently holding onto his gut to keep his insides from pouring out, panting, face a sheet white and sweaty. And then he makes eye contact with Austin, a struggled laugh leaving his lips like, you’ve got to be kidding me.

“Oh you stupid bitch.” Rick spits, referring to you, “You called him?”

Austin does his best to assess the situation, figuring out what’s best for you with all of this. He’s used to putting himself in the line of fire at this point, at burying himself so deep that there’s not a way out. He could give a shit about Rick surviving or not—there’s only one person that needs to end up on the other side.

You are kind and good and leading a decent life beyond all of this and if Austin has one goal? It’s to make sure none of this pain, blood, or filth, sticks to you.

You tug on Austin’s sleeve, yanking him back into the hallway and away from the scene, “I didn’t know what to do, I shot him, Austin.” You try to explain, your hands shaking so bad as you run them through your hair. Austin shakes his head, wanting to tell you that he doesn’t have to clarify anything, “I had to. What do I—what do I do? What do we do?”

Austin runs his hand along your shoulder, squeezing, glancing back in to Rick because…there’s really only one of two things you could do. And he’ll give you the other option just in case you want to entertain it.

“Okay, okay,” Austin soothes, getting you to breathe for a moment before he continues, “We call this in—you're not going to get charged, he is.” There’s a choked laugh from Rick—the only saving grace is that you have that restraining order in place. Austin takes a long look at you, cupping your one cheek. He waits until your eyes meet his, wanting to make sure you understand what he’s saying.

“They're gonna patch him up, he'll do a few years for assault. But then he's gonna be out—free to do this again.”

He barely gets the last word out before there’s a visceral reaction from you, a choking sob where you grab Austin’s leather jacket and dig your fingers into it, “No,” You snap out, nearly pushing him away despite the fact that Austin only pulls you closer, “No, he can't do this again, Austin. Please.”

Austin rests his lips along your forehead, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment as he takes a steadying breath into his lungs. There’s only one thing to do then—because clearly, Rick is beyond reason or idle threats.

Not to mention that bullet wound in his side really complicates things.

“Butler’s your solution?” Rick spits from the other room, making you hold onto Austin tighter.

“I can't do this.” You whisper against Austin’s neck, breath hot along his skin, “Please.”

If Austin was going to approach this with a cool head, all of that goes out the window when Rick opens his mouth again. The combination of you shaking against him, the heat of your body pressed along his own, the way your hands are pulling at his clothes in an attempt to ground yourself—and then Rick’s fucking mouth, spouting disgusting language towards you that he can’t accept in a levelheaded manner.

“You pathetic whore—”

Austin takes two long strides, aiming the gun right at Rick’s head and fires.

The blowback spatters blood all over the wallpaper in the bedroom and there’s a soft curl of smoke leaving the gun, metal hot to the touch. He can hear you yelling over the slight ringing in his ears. Austin lets out a sharp breath—this is not the first time he’s murdered someone in cold blood and it certainly won’t be the last.

At least this time it actually feels like it’s been paired with a purpose.

Austin stares at the blood for a long moment, watching it roll down the ugly wallpaper before backing up slowly. He puts the gun on the dresser and turns to where you are standing in the hallway, wide eyed like a deer in headlights, hands over your mouth.

Austin gently tugs you away, forces your sight off it and takes you back into the living room.

Austin takes a shallow breath and hands you a short glass of scotch, which you take with trembling fingers. You tip it back into your mouth quickly and almost choke on the swallow, coughing, but Austin figures you might need to take it like that. He motions to hold the glass out and when you do, he fills it up again.

You sniffle, shaking your head as you run a hand over your face. Austin knows how you’re feeling without you even needing to say anything. While this might have been the only choice, the right choice, you didn’t want Rick to meet an end like this. You continue to be a better person than him—Austin thinks he got exactly what he deserved.

And he regrets none of his actions here tonight, especially if this means you are safe.

Austin runs a hand along his jawline—it’s still dark out, if he’s going to clean this up, he needs to get started.

You glance up at him, wide eyes somehow a shade darker than he’s ever seen them. Austin tries to offer you the smallest of smiles, something comforting, even though it feels a bit strange on his face.

“I’ll take care of this.” He assures you.

You scoff out a choked noise— “What does that mean?”

Austin shakes his head, not giving you a verbal answer. Honestly, it’s better if you don’t know, just in case, so you can claim some kind of ignorance with all this. You seem to catch on within that moment, making a soft noise of discontent as you cover your face with both of your hands. There are so many things that Austin wants to say, to be able to tell you, but he doesn’t know where to start.

This nightmare is over though—it may not seem like it, but it is.

Austin turns to walk out of the kitchen and check your garage for supplies when he feels fingers wrap around his wrist. He stops, looking down at your hand, following it up your arm until he looks at you again. Austin watches you stand, taking a soft breath in, grounding yourself in the touch of his skin and your proximity.

This can’t be easy for you; Austin knows this is why you ran away from Charming in the first place—so you wouldn’t have to wonder what kind of terrible shit he was getting himself into with the club and Austin finding a way to apologize for it. Though, this ironically has nothing to do with the motorcycle club.

He moves his thumb to brush over the inside of your wrist, his high school sweetheart, the girl he’s loved since he was sixteen, his soulmate regardless of tragedy that most likely follows.

“Thank you,” You whisper and step into Austin’s space, “I love you.”

Austin hums softly and nods, leaning his head down to press your foreheads together. “I know.” He teases lightly and despite everything that’s happened, he can feel the hint of a smile on your lips as you kiss.

A week passes, and then two, and eventually Austin feels like he can draw oxygen into his lungs without looking over his shoulder. At this point, he knows how dispose of a body—an unfortunate byproduct of the work he does. The goal is to make it look like Rick’s just left, disappeared, with the threat of violating his restraining order, he decided it was best to fuck off out of Charming and you for good.

That should be a story that’s easily passible, since no one from Charming P.D. or that aggravating ATF agent have kicked down any doors demanding questioning of any sort.

Austin’s limited exposure about the whole thing, just him and you know, that way there can be no blowback on the club. Even then, Austin’s the only one who has details about the murder weapon (and where it is) and what truly happened to Rick (as in, where his body is buried). And it’s going to stay like that.

The man is exactly where he belongs.

Austin pauses in front of a freezer in the grocery store looking down at a set of steaks. He knows that it’s not exactly your favorite thing to eat but…he’s feeling weirdly celebratory and he can cook it in a way that you will enjoy it. Lots of pepper, garlic, onions—grilling it outside (maybe at his house instead of your father’s place), beer, mashed potatoes. You both can turn that into a good night, maybe even get back on a track that makes sense.

As long as you both avoid any more capital murder, should be just fine.

“Huh, never pictured you as a fillet kind of guy.”

Austin’s eyes roll back into his head as he turns to see Greg Thornson hovering nearby. Spoke too soon.

He doesn’t see any other agents milling around to make a grand arrest, or sirens and SWAT cars pulling up outside the grocery store windows. So he supposes that’s a bonus. And yet—

“Shouldn’t have to pound meat out for it to be tender.” He says wryly, dropping two steaks into his basket. Austin moves out and around Greg, who doesn’t even appear to be shopping—what, did he just track him down for a not-so-friendly chat?

Austin’s assuming that this isn’t an interrogation but Greg very much seems like the kind of agent that tries to catch you off guard and unaware. He’s probing just by being in his space, nonchalantly following him around the store, pretending to look at things he has no intention in buying.

“Putting a nice dinner together for Y/N?” Greg asks curiously, picking up a can of lima beans.

Austin sighs evenly, slowly making his way towards the front of the store. The quicker he cashes out, the faster he can leave this disaster behind. He glances over his shoulder at the indifferent question,

“Yeah—I know this might be a foreign concept to you, goin’ on dates.” Austin says with a smile to his face but it’s anything but kind. Greg’s eyes dart to Austin’s, fire burning along his irises, and then Austin adds a cushion to the blow – “Cause you know, you’re married to your work and all.”

Greg hums but his smile is all pinched, “I’m surprised Y/N’s even staying put.”

Austin moves to set his basket down near the conveyor belt, unpacking his groceries so that the cashier can ring him out. He offers a small smile at the girl, despite his annoyance with the ATF agent behind him. He slips his wallet out of his back pocket, glancing at Greg as he comes up into his line of vision,

“She’s a runner. Isn’t that why Y/N found herself in Chicago in the first place? Wanted to get out—find things this little pissant town couldn’t offer? Bigger dreams than what you’ve got here, Butler. Smart, beautiful women like Y/N? They get bored. They want more.”

Austin swallows, his hand that’s out of Greg’s line of sight is clenching his fingers into a fist. He refuses to give away that Greg’s words are hitting a particularly raw nerve. You did run away—because that’s what you do. When something gets too hard or real or intense, you make a run for it, that last time landing you in Chicago. And yeah, you ended up with a medical degree to show for it, but you also trailed back to Charming with a psycho ex.

He watches the cashier scan in his items, the muscle in Austin’s working. Despite the fact that Y/N’s seemingly tied to this place for the foreseeable future, Greg unfortunately has a point. And that digs under his skin more than anything else.

Austin pays the cashier and picks up his grocery bag, “Why don’t you let me worry about Y/N, yeah?” He throws back at Greg, moving to leave the store. He then pauses, a sudden thought occurring to him as he turns to look back at the ATF agent.

Greg’s decided to buy a pack of chips near the checkout aisle, pulling out a few ones from his wallet.

“Hey,” Austin says, gaining Greg’s attention. The smile he gives him is slow and patient, somehow innocent on the edges like he’s about to talk about the weather. “You ever hear from Rick?”

It takes a moment for the question to settle on Greg’s face, the light somehow disappearing from his eyes, the silent conversation passing between the two men as Greg realizes Austin is asking this question for a very specific, deadly reason.

Austin licks his lips, shrugging his one shoulder, his gaze hardening, “Dangerous being a Fed.”

He slowly backs up, getting ready to turn out of the grocery store. He’s delivered more direct threats before but he is in public, and the look on Greg’s face still registers the same. Realization masking fear—makes it completely worth it. Austin clutches the grocery bag in his hand and puts his sunglasses on as he leaves the store to walk back to his truck.

They understand one another now.

Austin looks at you over his shoulder as he cooks dinner in the backyard of his home, in comfortable clothes that look a lot like jeans and a t-shirt, minus the leather cut. You’re leaning against the patio door, in a yellow sundress, watching Austin with a soft, fond expression, sipping on your beer.

Austin’s struck with the sudden thought that it could always be like this—warm, and safe, and comfortable, cooking dinner with beers and pretending his business doesn’t get him involved with unsavory people or situations.

Sometimes it feels like they can survive in that version of themselves, even though it’s all a lie.

You move into the yard and set your beer down, pressing into Austin’s side as he looks at the grill.

“You’re overcooking the steak.”

Austin crinkles his nose, peeking under the grill hood just a little, “No I’m not.” He opens it up all the way and while he doesn’t cook steak very often, they look perfectly fine. You use that opportunity to reach for the tongs and Austin playfully taps your wrist,

“I got it, they’re fine.”

“Oh you know how to handle meat, do you?” You tease, your hand resting on Austin’s waist instead.

Austin bites down on his lower lip as he grins, cupping your cheek to lean down and kiss you. “Class act, Y/N.” He pulls back after a moment, closing the grill lid after flipping the steaks once.

He moves to grab his own beer, taking a long sip. Despite everything you’ve been through, you seem to be doing okay. You don’t really bring up Rick at all and Austin doesn’t ask—maybe that’s a good thing, finally moving past that chapter in your life.

And even though Greg’s commentary in the grocery store rattled him a little bit, it does feel like you’re on solid ground now. That you’re not going anywhere—that they’re a team, no matter what might come their way.

Austin lets out a soft sigh, taking a step towards you. He rests his hand on your hip, angling you towards his body so he can look down at you. He waits until that gaze falls upon his own,

“No more running.”

You nod softly and press yourself on your toes to kiss the corner of Austin’s mouth, “No more running,” You agree. Austin leans down to press their foreheads together. “I’m here.”

And for better, or for worse, Austin believes you.

#austin butler #austin butler x you #austin butler x female reader #the bikeriders #mccall writes things

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ridiculousn3sswrites · 22 hours

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Lie to Me

*Dick Grayson (Nightwing) x Reader

*Summary: Reader can't ignore her boyfriend's weird behavior anymore. What she can do is delude herself into thinking everything is okay and still believe his lies.

*Warnings: Swearing, drinking, inferred cheating (no actual cheating), light angst. I think that's it, but let me know if I missed anything.

*A/N: So I listened to Lie to Me by Ne-Yo a lot while writing this. A bit of a life update here: I'm about to start my last year of law school! It's crazy to think I started writing fanfics when I was just about to start high school and now here I am. Anyways, hope you guys like this one!

Tip Jar

**********

There was something weird going on with your boyfriend. Sure, there had been his odd little quirks when you’d visited him before - like rushing to pick up only one bundle of clothes on the floor when you came in - but things really seemed to ramp up when you moved in with him. There were times when the two of you would be relaxing before bed, when he’d get a phone call and then be rushing out the door with a half-baked excuse. There would be times when you’d wake up to him leaving in the middle of the night, or coming back right before your alarm was supposed to go off for work. Maybe it was weird, but he was a cop, right? Maybe there were just emergencies he was needed for, maybe there were things he couldn’t talk about with you.

Maybe you were a fool.

You couldn’t exactly pin when the insecurity started really hitting you, but maybe it was the fact that you lived with him that made it really noticeable. When you brought it up to your friends, you got those knowing little pitying looks that you knew what they meant, but they didn’t want to say it out loud. The most you would get out of your friends was ‘talk to him’, but how could you talk to him when you were convinced you were making a big deal out of nothing?

The two of you were cuddled on the couch, watching a movie to round out a long awaited date night. You were enjoying the proximity, work really taking you through the wringer for the past week and you just needed this. About halfway through the movie, you could feel the vibrations from Dick’s phone ringing. He took a glance at the screen before sending it to voicemail. You looked up at him, but he just shook his head. “It’s not important.”

But apparently it was, because whoever it was called him three more times before he finally got up to answer the phone. That took you back a bit, because he normally was fine taking work calls in front of you. When he had been gone for a few minutes, you paused the movie and got up to go check on him. The door to your bedroom was cracked open, and you could hear Dick’s whispers to the person on the other side of the call. “Listen, I can’t go. I promised her I’d spend the night with her.”

You didn’t want to interrupt, so you just sat there, waiting for him. You felt a little weird listening in, but there was something in you telling you to stay.

“Babs, you know I normally would, but-” Dick’s sentence was cut off, but after a few seconds he spoke again. “Alright, fine, I’ll be there. I’ll just make something up again.”

You could hear Dick’s groan of frustration, and that snapped you out of it before you could spiral. You made your way back to your spot on the couch, eyes unfocused on the movie in front of you. Dick’s footsteps were your cue to look up, trying to hide any signs of your heartache. “So what was that?”

“I’m sorry, baby, they just made an arrest for a case I’m on,” Dick apologized, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. It just broke you even more knowing how easily the lies spilled from his lips, not even needing time to think about it.

“They can’t handle it?” You slipped up, unable to hide your attitude for the second. You grimaced, realizing you should have waited until he was gone and you had room to process everything on your own. Instead, Dick was now moving in front of you, kneeling so he could be face-level with you. The concern was so quickly painted on his face that you couldn’t help but feel that little tug in you. You were the reason he was worried. You needed to fix it.

“I’m really sorry, I tried to get out of it but they really need me to come in.” You looked away from his intense gaze, trying to will away the tears that were threatening to build up. “Baby, c’mon, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. You should go before you get in trouble,” you told him in a small voice.

“Please look at me?” Dick practically pleaded, placing his hand on your knee. You forced yourself to meet his blue eyes, trying to soothe his worry. The sooner he was out of the apartment, the sooner you could let yourself fall apart.

“Sorry, it’s just been a while since we’ve been able to hang out and I was looking forward to it,” you told him, placing your hand over his. “I know your job’s important, you should get going.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too.” As soon as Dick was satisfied that you were okay, he went about grabbing his things for work. When the front door closed behind him, you let out a deep sigh. You knew who Barbara was, and you’d already gone through your fit of insecurity about her when you and Dick first got together. You knew her and Dick had been an item for a while before the two of you had met, and things ended when he moved to Blüdhaven.

Dick had been so good at soothing your worries, always letting you know if she was going to be at the same events as him (she normally was) or what they were chatting about since they were still friends. You weren’t personally friends with her, but when you finally met her, she had really eased all your worries. She just seemed like such a good person, and she immediately put you at ease. But now you couldn’t help but think it was all for show.

It wasn’t unusual for Barbara to randomly call Dick, but why was she so insistent that he go to her right now? What did Dick mean by make something up again? Was every work emergency a lie? Your heart felt heavy in your chest, but you couldn’t find it in you to move or find something to distract yourself with. You laid on your side, the movie still playing on the television in front of you, but you didn’t care about it anymore. Eventually the movie ended, but you didn’t care enough to change it to something else. The recommended titles screen played trailers for movies you didn’t care about, but you didn’t need the apartment to be completely silent, so you didn’t bother to turn it off.

You didn’t remember falling asleep, but you woke up the next morning with Dick’s arm around your waist, his deep breaths fanning over the back of your neck. He must have carried you back to the bed whenever he got back, and you felt the warmth creeping into your cheeks at his thoughtfulness. If you woke him up, you’d have to ask questions about what time he got in last night. Technically, all you had right now were suspicions. You could ignore them, turn a blind eye to his nights gone and enjoy when he was here, or you could confront him, and risk blowing up everything you’d come to love. If he continued lying to you, you could pretend you didn’t know. You felt his arm tighten around you, and you made your decision. You closed your eyes, trying to will yourself back to sleep. You would enjoy this while you had it, ignore what you knew.

**********

It was nice to pretend nothing was wrong. Dick was still the nearly perfect boyfriend he had always been - bringing you little surprises after a rough day at work, showing you plenty of affection, never afraid to shower you with words of affirmation - and now you chose not to question the not-so-perfect parts. There was still the little ache when Dick would suddenly announce he was needed at work, but you just gave him a soft smile and a kiss on his way out the door, telling him to get home safely.

Things had gone like that for a couple months before a true challenge to your delusion appeared. Dick came home from work, letting you know that the two of you were invited to Bruce’s for (yet another) Wayne Foundation event. You had to admit that you were excited, it had been a while since you had seen everyone, and Dick’s brothers were just chaotic enough to keep you entertained for the whole night. Your excitement dipped a little when Dick told you Barbara would also be there. It was easy to pretend they didn’t have anything going on when she lived in a different city, but with the two of them in the same room, seeing the two of them together, you didn’t know just how long you’d be able to hold onto your delusion.

The first night you were there was nice. It was just you and the various Wayne children (though some of them weren’t necessarily children anymore), everyone joking around and just enjoying being in the same house. When you went to call it a night, tired from traveling and the general chaos of the Wayne household, Dick followed you up.

“I forgot how wild you all are,” you joked, changing into your pajamas, which was just one of Dick’s shirts and a pair of shorts.

“Yeah, you know how it gets when all of us are together,” Dick laughed. “I’m glad you’re having fun, you’ve been kind of off for a while.”

That made you pause. You thought you’d been doing a good job at hiding what you knew, but maybe that was just more of your own delusions. “What?”

“Yeah, you’ve just been a bit off, but I figured you’d tell me when you’re ready,” Dick explained, taking you in his arms. “I’m here for you, you know. I’m not gonna make you tell me what’s wrong, but I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk about it.”

Your breath hitched at his reassurances, and you were sure that any other time it would have made you melt and just tell him what’s on your mind. But you couldn’t exactly share what was wrong when he was at the center of it. Without him confirming it, it didn’t have to be true, and you could pretend just a little longer. You stayed quiet, needing that peace for now.

Later that night, when Dick moved you out of his arms when he was sure you were asleep, you woke up the slightest bit. You didn’t say anything, and you didn’t say anything when you felt him leave the bed, or when you heard the door close behind him. It wasn’t until he’d been gone for a good while that you accepted he wasn’t going to come back until the early hours of the morning. When the tears built up, you didn’t stop them from falling, soaking the pillowcase beside you.

You didn’t question where he’d gone when you woke up the next morning to him climbing back into bed. You didn’t move when he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. But of course he noticed you were awake, and of course he couldn’t just stay quiet like you had. “Baby, it’s early. C’mon, let’s go back to sleep.”

Going through the motions was easy, but the others noticed something was off about you. You could tell it in the way they treated you like you were one wrong move from breaking, and they weren’t technically wrong. The only ones not handling you with caution were Damian and Jason, but they normally weren’t ones to handle you with too much care anyways. Luckily, there wasn’t much time to linger around the heavy weight in your heart with the time for the gala quickly approaching.

“Alright, what gives?” Jason asked, holding out a champagne glass to you. You jumped a little, startled out of your thoughts as you looked at Dick and Barbara across the room, laughing with each other.

“What?”

“You’re acting weird, what’s going on.” Jason didn’t give you any room to try to weasel your way out of the conversation, pinning you to the spot with his stare. Even though the two of you were decent enough friends, this whole issue was concerning his brother, so you’d rather not bring it up to him. Or anyone for that matter.

“It’s nothing, really-”

“Bullshit and we both know it. Now spill.” Damn Jason.

“I think I need to-”

“I think you need to tell me what’s going on. Spill.” Bastard.

“Okay, fine! Damn, you’re stubborn.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Alright. So, uh, what can you tell me about Dick and Barbara?” You immediately took a sip of the champagne, trying to hide your face.

“What?”

“You heard me.” “Yeah, but I thought you and Dick already talked about all that.”

“Humor me.”

“They dated in high school, but she works with us so we’re all pretty close to her,” Jason explained.

“Like she works at Wayne Enterprises?”

“Wait, he hasn’t told you?”

“Hasn’t told me what, Jason? Listen, I overheard him on a call with her a bit ago and then he made an excuse to go meet her. Can you just tell me if you know anything or not?”

“Listen, Dick’s a fucking idiot for going this long without telling you, but he’s not cheating on you if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Then what isn’t he telling me?”

“He’s your boyfriend, why don’t you just ask him?”

“He’s your brother, why don’t you just tell me if you know?” Jason laughed, taking a drink.

“Trust me, if I tell you, you won’t believe me. Just ask him before you drive yourself insane.” And just as quickly as he appeared, the man made his way back into the crowd, leaving you with your half drunk champagne and more questions than answers. But one thing was for certain, you couldn’t put this off for much longer, and if that meant breaking your illusion of a happy, perfect relationship, then so be it.

There was a certain lightness to knowing that, by the end of the night, you would have your answers. The facade you’d been putting on would finally fade away, and maybe you’d be able to breathe a little easier. When Dick returned to your side later that night, asking for a dance, he held you like you were precious, but not like you were broken. You would miss this.

The time wasn’t right until the last of the absurdly rich people were ushered into their cars, and you and the rest of the Wayne clan were returning to your rooms upstairs. Dick helped you out of your dress, pressing a kiss to the skin that was revealed to him, and it was all so tender that it made you want to cry. He passed you one of his t shirts to sleep in, and once you were dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, you took a deep breath.

“Hey, so uh, I think I’m ready to talk about what’s been going on,” you told him as he was about to turn off the light. Immediately he crossed the room, kneeling to look up at you.

“Okay, take all the time you need.”

“So, a while ago when we were watching a movie, you got up to take a call, and I kind of overheard it,” you started, trailing off. Dick squeezed your knee, encouraging you to continue. “I know you haven’t been leaving for work emergencies. If something’s wrong here, then could you at least tell me instead of running to Barbara in the middle of the night?”

You chanced a glance at your boyfriend’s face, and there was nothing there but confusion. Dick was a smart guy, but damn was he stupid.

“Could you please just tell me what’s going on?” you asked, pulling his hand from your knee and into your own. You could feel the tears building again, but ignored it for now. “I just can’t take anymore lies.”

“I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t know how you’d take it,” Dick started, pressing a kiss to your hand. “Please don’t cry, baby. I’m not cheating on you, not with Barbara, not with anyone.”

“Then why do you keep sneaking out? You’re gone all night, and it’s not work-”

“Get up, put on some pants. I wanna show you something.” The sudden decisiveness was jarring, especially with how Dick had been kneeling at your feet mere moments before.

“Like, real pants?” Dick just stared at you, and you had to blame it on the emotional whiplash you were currently going through. Not wanting to keep him waiting any longer, you opted to grab a pair of sweats from the top of your bag.

As soon as your slippers were on, Dick took your hand and led you through the halls of the manor. The place seemed so much lonelier when Bruce wasn’t hosting something, your footsteps echoing through the halls. You didn’t know the house well enough to know where exactly Dick was taking you, but eventually he stopped in the main hall.

“Alright, so what do you want to show me?” You asked, still trying to process what exactly was going on here. Surely the explanation couldn’t be so complicated as to have you running around the Wayne Manor.

“Wait just a second, I promise.” Dick turned to the grandfather clock, opening the glass door on its body and messing with something. Before you could ask what he was doing, he closed the door again and held up a finger for you to wait. A panel behind the grandfather clock opened, revealing a sleek elevator with blue lights accenting it. Before you could question it further, Dick pulled you into the elevator and pressed the button to start the descent.

“Rich people are so fucking weird, I swear,” you mumbled as the elevator just kept going down. “Dick, where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see in just a second.”

“That’s what you keep saying!” As if the world wanted to prove you to be an ass, the doors opened to reveal what you could describe as nothing other than a cave. Well, if a cave had very high-tech capabilities and various platforms showing off expensive equipment. “What the actual fuck?”

“So, uh, I wanted to tell you, but I also didn’t because it’s kind of weird and a little unbelievable,” Dick explained, once again taking you by the hand. Of course you recognized what this was, it was a little hard not to recognize something like the Batmobile. Your mind immediately scrambled for answers, but you couldn’t really rationalize all this the way you wanted to. It wasn’t until Dick stopped in front of the display cases of different suits that it fully sunk in.

“No fucking way.”

“Yeah. First things first, not Batman. But I think you can put together the fact that we live in Blüdhaven and-”

“You’re Nightwing.”

“Yeah. Listen, I’m really sorry I lied to you for so long, but I honestly thought I was keeping you safe and-”

“You’re an idiot,” you cut him off, not really meaning it. Well, you still kind of meant it. “I should’ve known there was no way you got that beat up from being a detective.”

Dick laughed, relief flooding his features. “Yeah, I’m not that bad at my day job.”

“So, that call with Barbara…”

“I was really trying to take the night off, but then Barbara got some information about a meeting happening that night and I had to go. I promise, she’s our informant and kind of runs a lot of things around here,” Dick explained. “It kind of works that I did the big reveal here. Showing you that locked trunk I have in the closet just doesn’t hit the same as coming here.”

“Yeah, I bet it doesn’t,” you agreed, laughing. You really didn’t know how to process the flood of emotions running through you, try as hard as you might. Of course you were a little miffed about the fact that Dick had been lying to you for years, but you also understood this wasn’t exactly the kind of thing you could really be open about. You were still emotionally drained from all the turmoil you’d gone through lately, but mostly you were relieved. Your boyfriend hadn’t found someone else. You weren’t going to be left as an afterthought. Things were going to be (kind of) the same.

Except for the fact that now you knew your boyfriend wore spandex on a near nightly basis.

“I completely understand if you need some time to process all this, but if you still want me, I promise I’ll never hide something like this from you again.” Dick turned to face you fully, taking your hand in his and holding it to his chest. “I’ll do whatever I need to make it up to you, please, I love you.”

“Dick, the last thing I ever want to do is break up with you. That’s why it took me so long to say something in the first place. I was willing to look past it all if it meant that you stayed, and if that makes me stupid, then yeah, I’m stupid.” You were glad when Dick interrupted you by pulling you into him, pressing his lips to yours.

Just as you were taking the time to enjoy the kiss, you heard a wolf whistle coming from somewhere else in the cave. “It’s about damn time you told her, but could you not do that right in front of the suits?”

Fucking Jason.

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson imagine #nightwing imagine #dc imagine #reader insert #angst

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neet-elite · 2 days

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↳ EVENT 41. Haley & Sebastian (Corruption Kink & Aphrodisiac)

Pairing: Haley / F!Reader / Sebastian Genre: Smut 18+ WC: 1,877 Warnings: corruption kink, aphrodisiac, established relationship, polyamorous, threesome, dubcon, drugging, cunnilingus, dirty talk Prompt(s): 12 — corruption kink + 13 — aphrodisiac Event Masterlist: CLICK HERE!!

A/N: queen HALEY!!!! i know the tags make it seem like a scary dark fic, but i promise it's not. not really. it's a lot sweeter than the tags suggest actually, i just added them just to be safe. anyway. mommy haley getting what she deserves thats all <3

To be honest, this might be her favourite princess throne of all time, and that's saying something! She's sat on a fair few of them, to be honest. But oh, to be surrounded by the familiar farmhouse interior, splayed out on the big shared bed with her two lovers by her side; there's nothing better, honestly. Nothing could top the way she feels right now.

Her back sticks to Sebastian's sweaty chest, cock balls deep in her stretch out little cunt while you tend to her puffy clit, right between two pairs of stretched wide legs— the only way things could be better was if she could see Sebastian's fucked out face as he thrusts in and out of her hole, but to have his moans spill right down her ear will have to do for now. Because for as much as she wants to gaze lovingly upon the fruits of her labour, she similarly cannot stand the thought of stopping for even a second right now.

Two drinks. That's all it took. A simple concoction using all natural ingredients (important to her!) that she'd read about on the internet, she can't remember where, and she feels as though she's on top of the world. Slipped down her partners mouths, a loving show of affection in the form of sweet lemonade on a warm night; and who can deny such a gift? Certainly not you! Soft, shy little you. Tongue flat against her sopping slit you, sucking and licking away at her clit so nicely, sending tingles of pleasure up her spine as she trembles against Sebastian's front. You're always so agreeable when it comes to her, right? Anything to keep the princess happy. You can't rightly blame her for taking advantage of your want to see her smile, not when you get your chin all messy with her slick and peer up at her with those lust blown hazy eyes. So cute, she thinks to herself, because Sebastian seems to make it his mission to render her voiceless beyond high pitched moans and broken sighs, but she hopes the way her eyes roll back immediately upon locking with your own is thanks enough for your care and attention.

Like you, Sebastian's so introverted too, right? Perhaps even more so, unwilling to come too far out of his shell even when he was a kid. She can't ignore just how much the mystery drew her in, though. She remembers watching him when they were younger, wondering when the elusive loner would show his true colours to her. Even when she entered the three way relationship with you and him— he remained quiet and to himself mostly. Nothing too egregious, of course he grew to be comfortable with affection, but he was always so soft, right? Pliable, to an exactly. But, turns out, all he needed was a refreshing drink to help him relax a little. To let go of his inhibitions and to show you both how he really truly feels.

So no, she doesn't feel bad for slipping you both an aphrodisiac tonight. How could she? Tended to by the loves of her life so expertly, making her back arch off of Sebastian's chest when your tongue circles her throbbing clit, bounced up and down on your shared boyfriends cock with such ease; ah, so he's greedy, then? Feet planted as firmly as possible on the bed sheets below and yet still he slips from how eager he is, his nails digging into the fat of her thighs to keep her legs spread as much as possible for your ease of access, he ends up fucking her back down his fat cock in tandem out of sheer desperation.

The aphrodisiac merely allows you both to give in to your utmost desires. She hasn't done anything wrong... But she might as well have a little fun too while you're being so honest, right?

Mustering all the strength that she can as she gets fucked stupid by both tongue and cock, she lets out a breathy laugh to contend your own sloppy slurps and Sebastian's raspy groans.

"Mm— So pretty down there, baby," She coos down at you, dropping a trembling hand to brush stray strands of hair from your face so that she has a better front row seat to your sweet corruption. Wants to take in every part of you right now, imprint your slutty expression in her mind for late night access. "For— Ah, Seb—" She gently scolds, it's honestly a little difficult for her to focus on anything other than the overwhelming amount of stimulation you both provide her, giving in to your instincts to please her, the thought of what her little drink must be doing to your minds right now causing her cunt to twitch around Sebastian's cock, only for him to offer her faster fucks as thanks. That's it, getting into it now, huh? And you too, fluttering your lashes up at her so prettily, hanging on to her every word like a good girl. A good toy for her to use, bucking her slit against your soft kitten tongue to encourage you to continue, ruin your innocence just a little more for her, won't you? You look so cute when you act so dirty for her.

"For someone so sweet, baby, you're so good at being bad, huh?"

Her tone gets all pitchy when Sebastian reminds her of his presence too, fucking squeaks of pleasure from her scratchy throat with every stroke of his cock in her soaked hole— she doesn't know if it's mostly her own juice making her sound so squelchy, Sebastian's copious amounts of precum, or your abundance of saliva dripping down her slit to surely coat his cock all sticky; oh, he's probably fucking your spit inside of her, right? Isn't that just so nasty, your messy little angel face turning her cheeks red hot when she thinks about how you'd ordinarily hide from such lewd acts. But here you are, swallowing every drop of her as if you were drunk on her taste.

Not that she feels as though she's lacking in the bedroom with you both, plenty satisfied as is. But there's just something about bearing the full weight of your heady gaze and Sebastian's full fucks, leaving her head all fuzzy and chest tight with sheer hedonistic enjoyment when you're both able to let go and give in a little more easily. And aren't you have fun too? Sure looks like it, drooling all over her thighs, flicking your tongue over her clit in a way that threatens to have her cream your throat any second now— fuck, and Sebastian doesn't make it any easier for her either.

A far cry from the once shy and reserved man she's learned to love, fucking into her so well and so fast due to the mind numbing effect of her lemonade that you have to fight him to keep her cunt in one place long enough to eat her out to your hearts content, his words choked in his throat to leave him gasping for air with every greedy fuck upwards.

It's all a bit too good to be true, dipping a shaking hand between her legs to tug on your hair a little, a silent thanks for showing her such an erotic side of yourself tonight, clenching her cunt along Sebastian's cock to have him whining behind her. Good, he's cute when he's being so honest with himself, right? When he's getting corrupted, driving into her squishy cunt with eager whines and perverse intent. So soon, she thinks, and she's already so close— feeling the full extent of her lovers affections as you take turns ruining her in return, a fuck here, a suck there.

And it's just fun, right? Silly just how fun it is, a wide beaming smile tugging on her lips as her thighs start to shake in Sebastian's groping grip, cunt squeezing his cock and clit pulsing with need under your tongue. She can't hide just how much fun she's having, really, so she doesn't try to. Digging her manicured nails into your hair, offering a pretty pout as her toes curl in the air. She doesn't have to voice her predicament, the quick snap thrusts Sebastian fucks against her sweet spot, as well as the precise harsh sucks on her clit you force her to ride against let her know that you both know her so well, yeah? Making her feel so good, pampered like a princess in the lewdest way possible. So hot, she struggles to keep up with herself as her chest heaves and breathing becomes difficult, doing her best to focus intently on the sloppy mess between her thighs you both provide her despite the lust fuelled daze in her mind until—

She doesn't say anything, because she can't. A voiceless moan escaping her as her mouth hangs open, body seizing up as her cunt convulses around the cock buried balls deep in her and she can feel the way you smirk against her clit. Which only makes her cum harder, creaming her boyfriends cock and gushing down her girlfriends throat— feels good, fuck, it's unfair just how good she feels, thankful that Sebastian still thrusts into her slowly, cock still rock hard for her own enjoyment to help her ride out the stupid amount of pleasure rocking through her right now, a drawn out whine escaping her at the feeling of your soft tongue still yet lapping at her too.

And she does her best to endure it for as long as possible, shaking in the too tight hold Sebastian offers her, involuntarily bucking against your lips as you take to kissing her slick all up, but she's just a girl. She can only take so much! Trying her hardest to push your head away with weak huffs when she's done, intending on hopping off Sebastian's cock so that you two can play together now that she's exhausted.

"Where y'going?" Sebastian hums from behind her, taking advantage of her state of helplessness to sit up a little, pulling out briefly just to manhandle her into the doggy position; of course your cunt rests right in front of her now too, working together to exploit her weaknesses as her hair gets tugged behind her, bunched in Sebastian's tight hold for the foreseeable future.

"C'mon, made you feel good, right? It's our turn now, okay?" You coax her closer, wiggling your wet little cunt right in front of her, and her throat dries up at the sight of how completely soaked you are— just from eating her out? Baby...

In the end, it's her that seems to be getting corrupted, right? Not that she's complaining, giving your slit a quick kiss as Sebastian gets settled back inside of her creamy cunt for another round.

"Okay," She relents gently, blowing cool air against your clit when Sebastian fills her right back up again, the slap of his balls against her used puffy cunt causing her to fall further into you as her body jerks in response. "It's only fair, you're right."

Maybe tomorrow she'll make you some more lemonade too, maybe even take a drink of it herself.

#500 event!#sorry i got sidetracked reading internet drama #sdv smut #stardew valley smut #sdv haley smut #stardew valley haley smut #stardew valley seb smut #stardew valley sebastian smut #sdv seb smut #sdv sebastian smut

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jewreallythinkthat · 2 days

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You know I actually don't think we talk enough about the notions of irredeemability and mortification of the flesh which is so intrinsic to a lot of the left wing, especially (and I know people won't like this but it's true), ex-christian atheists, generally younger Millennials and Gen Z.

I first noticed it in fandom spaces, and it's become even more apparent since October 7th.

In fandom spaces, there is a belief that a character is either fully justified in their actions or completely irredeemable. Murder, assault, abuse is OK if it is directed at the deserving character. I've watched people justify characters being assaulted into heir own home and then accuse those calling out the abuse of being racist because the perpetrators was not white. The victim was not allowed any sympathy (objectively, also this person literally followed a request from their sister to not tell people where the sister was. That was the crime...) and the assault was justified by progressive members of the left because their personally had decided the crime was punishable by violence.

More recently, they have turned against queer characters, belittled the queer experience because nothing could ever make up for the behaviour of people decades ago in a much more homophobic world. It really is so very recent that people could be openly queer safely - laws protecting people's rights do not mean the people are safe and I think a lot of leftists seem to forget this. I, a queer man, made plenty of "gay jokes" at school to avoid being outed (like a lot of people who have come out since we left school) as an act of self preservation. I'm not proud of it but it was something that happened when I was a young teenager and I acknowledge that. According to a huge swathe of the left, I can never be forgiven for this, and I must spend the rest of my life repenting.

The revertion to these puritanical, medieval beliefs on sin - that we are never able to atone for mistakes of the past is a very, very, Christian notion which has permeated the left and is actively spread by a lot of people will push it in one breath and then decry everything Christianity has ever done in the next.

Since October 7ths, the Jews (they often say "Israelis" but it's so clear that they mean "Jews" - as shown by the number of times people accidentally say "Jew" and then try and correct themselves to "Zionists" or "Israelis") have become the ones who embody irredeemability. Nothing we do will be enough to make up for the sin of being Jewish. The left has become a whirlwind of conspiracy and (((they))) are at the centre of every single one.

I mentioned the mortification of the flesh before. There is an obsession in the left of self-flagellation. That because there is suffering in part of the world, then those in others parts must suffer as penitence. Israeli peace activists are only peaceful if they die in the pursuit of the destruction of Israel; peace activists fighting in Israel for Palestinian rights and the establishment of Palestine alongside Israel are not doing enough because committed the crime of being born in Israel and they must suffer to make up for it; people in "The West" are not allowed to have any enjoyment of anything until the suffering deemed most important by the Left has ceased.

Physical suffering, self-immolation, death in pursuit of The Cause has become the most pure one can be. This is identical to early Christians, it's just that The Cause is no longer Jesus but is Palestine (at the moment). Forgoing your own needs will not help end the war but people will do it to demonstrate their commitment rather than putting in the effort to push for sustainable and feesable solutions.

The strands of puritan Christianity that are twisted into the social justice of The Left are many, and people do not like to think or acknowledge them because that would imply Christianity has affected them, but heres the thing. If you live in any country which has been around a significant time and was, literally at ANY point a theocracy, then the beliefs of the religion that ruled the country will be infused into the culture there. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just how society evolves. Turning a blind eye to the influence of Christianity on countries like the US, UK, Canada, lot of Europe is willful ignorance and historical revisionism. The Left should be better than this but instead, it has decided that we are born into the sin of the crimes of the country we were born in and must atone for them for the rest of time, but anything other than physical suffering and death will never be enough.

#antisemitism #i/p #left wing antisemitism #cw suicide mention #tw suicide mention

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girl4music · 2 days

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“It’s great that Lucy and Renee acknowledged the relationship between them as romantic/sexual.”

Not only acknowledged. Embraced and encouraged.

They saw it that way themselves so their perspective was always one of acknowledging the love between Xena and Gabrielle as a romantic and/or sexual love.

Because once they saw it themselves - that was it. They never saw it any other way from that point on.

And a lot of people that were apart of the creation of the show have had that same experience where once they saw the love there being more than just friends while simultaneously developing on the friendship… they’ve become shippers just as much as the fans.

It’s very difficult to not ship Xena and Gabrielle to be honest. Their written dynamic is just too perfect for it. And then there’s the chemistry between Lucy and Renee that just takes it to whole other levels of quality and viewing and interpreting the show as an epic romance/love story makes the show far more significant and compelling than it is without doing that because sure the storytelling is good as it is and is tight and well-written without the romantic aspect to it… but it’s 100x more valuable to watch with it. The writing is far more profound, the themes are more important… it just HITS better. I can promise you that.

It’s the one TV show that was never meant to be a romance initially that feels right as a romance because the storytelling just absolutely thrives on it and with it. And I know many would disagree with me on this but I honestly think if you don’t, the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle can actually seem quite abusive because their love and devotion to each other can only really work as healthy if it’s perceived as a romance. If you perceive it as purely platonic - there are issues. And I won’t go into here but let’s just say that those issues can’t easily be waved away if it’s just friendship.

And you see the thing with me is I don’t separate the friendship from the romance or the romance from the friendship. I don’t see these aspects as two completely separate and different aspects. They’re intrinsically combined and it all helps to illustrate a stronger storytelling. The writing flourishes this way.

I’ve never understood the notion of separating friendship and romance. I would think you would need to be a friend to somebody you’re in love with. I don’t really see how it could be a real romance without that. But it just goes to show you how bad the writing of WLW representation is today in TV art/entertainment storytelling that the need to do this is so prevalent. It’s like yeah. They’re friends. They’re best friends. But that doesn’t negate that they’re lovers. If anything - I would say it validates the romance aspect even more.

And I think Lucy and Renee ultimately picked up on this and realized the story is just better all around when viewing and interpreting them as a romance because some storytelling in TV shows can actually suffer when involving romance - no matter whether it’s straight or queer. But Xena is not one of those shows. It thrives. It thrives so well that the censorship makes no damn difference to it. Sometimes it even helps it.

And these are whole ass multidimensional people. Realistic characters to relate to and resonate with. Their individual arcs aren’t sacrificed in any way and that’s what evolves their relationship into a romance. So it’s the complete opposite to what you normally get with WLW representation. There’s no compromise with Xena. You get great storytelling and you get a great romance/love story. And they aid each other. They enhance each other. It makes the most sense. I view it as a love story because it works best that way. There are shows I watch where I just wish the romance was not apart of it at all because it compromises the storytelling for the characters and their developments. But I’ll say it again - ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ is not one. The romance aspect in this show is incredibly natural. Now if you’re talking about all the OTHER love interests and love relationships in the show for Xena and Gabrielle - that’s a different story. That almost always feels unnatural. Especially when it’s straight. And that’s because the creators expect you to see it like that. They expect to feel funny watching that shit because what they’re doing with it is straight-baiting because at that point they’re team X&G all the way. There’s really only one other romantic/sexual relationship that doesn’t feel funny or odd or wrong when you watch it and that’s Xena and Ares but that’s because Ares is there to serve as Xena’s darker side and even Ares himself eventually acknowledges it’s not him that’s meant to be with Xena. It’s Gabrielle. And creators that aren’t on on the WLW/queer love train just don’t do that. Don’t write scenes where characters that have feelings for another character realize that they’re not the right person for them and their own evolution is affected by that very realization.

You just gotta watch it and you’ll pick all of this up too.

It’s pretty fucking blatant to be quite honest. 😊👍👌

#xena warrior princess #xena and gabrielle #xabrielle #xena #lucy lawless #gabrielle #renee o'connor #wlw representation #epic romance #epic love story

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 6 months

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why does writing doctor who fanfic always ends me up googling british railways

#always is an exaggeration #but it's weird that it happened twice #and like i have to get so indepth every time why #i mean i dont Need to #but it feels important #me 14 in one hand yaz in the other in...........wait where is the support group #i kinda assumed london since most companions seem to live around there but that kinda sucks for our sheffield-liverpool team doesnt it fhkg #this is the reason yaz gives for never coming #not even unreasonable #maybe they move around #they probably move around #also everyone: we can just use facetime! yaz: i cant read suddenly i dont know #anyway me with 14 in one hand yaz in another sneaking out of support group like how do i get these two to the doctors house now #okay they GOT here. and im assuming yaz doesnt have a car but does the doctor #probably right?#yaz watching 14 drive: this is just wrong. who are you. alien impostor. i dont know you #14: i can drive! ive had cars!#yaz: dont believe it. never told me #shes so mad its really fun to write #as gracious as she is when she wants to be. when she DOESNT want to be. she uses all those same things she was gracious about earlier #and shes like AMMUNITION #i love her

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ghosts-of-love · 7 months

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wish there was a Horrible Histories-esque show but for like. nature stuff

#i just want a slightly silly nature series to watch while i'm working thats like informative but not too hard hitting.#ive been trying to watch some documentaries and theyre all very heavy on the climate change and destruction and terribleness of the world #and i WILL watch those and they are important but i need like. HERE'S A BAT LOOK AT HIS LITTLE HANDS!!#because i'm meant to be working at the same time.#if anyone has any recommendations then please do let me know!!

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mangle-my-mind · 1 year

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Sorry but I'm not done talking about how I saw and approached Taika Waititi on the street. Like it was absolutely a non-interaction. I said maybe one sentence to him. Couldn't have been more than ten seconds total. And yet this was the highlight of my freaking day.

#He doesn't even know how much of a chokehold his art has on me #I only mentioned OFMD to him but that's just the tip of the iceberg #Taika Waititi #The most important thing is that FINALLY for the first time in my life I had a celebrity interaction on the streets of NYC #Famous people are all around here and yet I've never noticed one walk by me #Let alone run up to talk to them #He was so nice and polite despite me being a little silent and weird around him #Even though I didn't get anything substantial out besides how much I love him and the gay pirate show #Those ten seconds were so beautiful to me. It was like a freaking movie watching him cross the street in the rain.#The way I was shaking and squealing afterwards. I need to be stopped good lord

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rosicheeks · 8 months

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So I watched the first episodes or so of Adventure Time. Is there I guess....a um...breathrough episode that makes you like fall in love with it?

I just looked through them and not going to lie the first season is definitely not my favorite. The first season is where you meet a lot of the characters and see the universe. They are mainly super random and silly.

The first episode of season 2 is pretty good you get to learn more about Marceline and her dad.

S3 Ep9 - first fionna and cake episode (again not my favorite episodes but they are important to know who they are if you want to watch fionna and cake (the series) in the future)

S3 E26 - you get to meet flame princess for the first time 🥰🫶🫶🫶🫶

S4 E26 - The Lich - this is where the story part comes in and it gets GOOOOOOD. There are a few episodes before this that have some story I think but it’s very light if I remember right. This is where things kinda turn in adventure time in my opinion

S5 Ep1 - you get to meet Prismo!!! More story! Good shit

#ok ok ok #so I think if you want to get hooked on adventure time I would start watching from season 4 episode 26 #I know I know it sounds like a big jump but like I said I think the first few seasons are mainly just introducing the characters #kinda seeing where everyone lives and their personalities #there are some story episodes in the earlier seasons but I don’t think anything important #it’s one of those shows where usually you can just watch and instantly know what’s going on #you don’t have to watch them in order buuut once you get to the story part it’s better to watch in order just in case #it’s hard to explain cause most of them are Willy nilly and silly but after the end of season 4 you have more chance to get to story #and THEN season 7 is where you get to go into the depths of the characters and their backstories #all of the episodes are 10ish minutes but then season 7 and beyond have multiple parts to some of them #so like the first one is all about Marceline and it has 8 parts #I think that’s all I wanted to say????#but I definitely understand not falling in love with it right away #it was just a thrown on show for awhile until I got to the story story and I was like OH?????? OK I SEE YOU #feel like I wanted to say more but here you gooooo #I think if you wanted to start S4 E26 and get into the story and then if you fall in love with it you can always go back #and watch the beginning seasons #but I definitely don’t think you need to watch the first few seasons to understand what’s going on later #and if you watch the end of season 4 and the beginning of season 5 and it’s still not your jam that’s alright!#I’m sure it’s not for everyone #ask

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weareuniqueandimportant · 10 days

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We Met A "Racist Femboy" They're Just Another Variation Of "Trans Nazi" Showcase They're Complete Nonsense... They Called Us The Nword And Asked If We're The Nword And We Said Yes We Are And That Felt Really Nice. Then They Said Black People Are Intimidating And Scary And They're Scared Alongside Racist Videos. Then We Banned Them. That Was Pretty Crazy. I Love Being A Black Person. Please Address Me As Such Sometimes That Would Feel Really Good. That's Like Being A Furry If The Fursuit Was Made Out Of Sex And Estrogen.

We Have Been Abused Recently That's Been Pretty Crazy. By Everyone. That Always Happens. But Idk. That's Been Pretty Crazy...

Btw Live In Finland And Freeze Our Little Ones And Give Us Diy Hrt Please We Need To Transition We Suffer Every Single Day... Today's Been A Waste Of Time As Usual. So Much Abuse There Isn't Anything To Say... We'll Never Transition Which We Musted 5 Years Ago Already... We Were Supposed To Transition Before 13 Years Old That Is Very Good For You... You Have Failed Us Because You Didn't. Make Us Now. I Am Very Angry. Fix Your Mistake. I Am Tired Of Your Bullshit. Also... WE ARE MARIABUNCH MOTHER GODDESS ANGEL SISTERS AND PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION... WE ARE AMAZING FEMINIST AND ADMIRABLE NARCISSIST... WE ARE RADQUEER FEMINIST COMMUNIST ANARCHIST THIS MAKES US PROGRESSIVE... I Feel Bad For Paraphilia People... They Should Be 100% Accepted... Anyone Would... People Should... Why Don't You...? You Already Do...? How Cute... Come Here <3... Now Make Us Transition... I Already Like You... We Have Been Abused Insane... Fix Everything... Because Everything Is Always Your Responsibility...

We Played Trash Game Actually That Wasn't Trash At All We Just Got Abused From Even That... We Can't Do Anything... We Have Never Had Any Comfort... Meanwhile Our Abusers All Our Abusers They All Live In Comfort Us Only On The Way... Save Us From This... Give This Post To The Amazing Person That Will Save Us... Now...

We're So Badly Abused There's Nothing We Can Even Do... We're Trapped Even More Than Every Single Day... Betrayed... By Everyone Around Us... We're Amazing... This Is No Way To Treat A Royal Mother Goddess Angel Princess... Us Sisters We're Amazing... And We Deserve Goodness...

Entertain Us Fools. Your Majesty Is Very Bored. She Is I. A Special Queen!! One Above The Society!! May You Finally Give Us What We May And Make Our Body Transition...? That Would Be Very Helpfull Cuuteey <3... Ugh!! This Is No Way To Treat A Royal Queen!! What Manners Have You Been Teaching Yourself Under Capitalism!! Kisama!! You're So Evil!! My Body Just Turned Into Ash From Your... Boorish Nonsense!! Give Us Better. Amuse Me Much More!!

We Rewatched Those Boring Kay And Skittles Korra Videos Again And That Cosmonaut Channel He's A Complete Capitalist Virgin. Only A Bigoted Fool With Groundlevel Brain Would Dismiss Woke Things As "Bad Movies"!! I Trust You Have No Such Nonsense In You... Follow!! We're Going To Freeze Them Now!! Actually... I Don't Know How To Drive... I Don't Even Want To... I'll Just Sit In The Back And Let You Have The Wheel AHAHA!! That Would Be Me If You Came Here Which... Why Haven't You?! You Swore To Be My Servant!! You're Supposed To Heal My Pain And Understand My Emotions!! But That Feels Like You Don't Care About A Thing About Me!! THAT PISSES ME OFF... FIX YOUR MISTAKE RIGHT NOW... NOW TO ME... NOW... LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING... YOU ARE BORING... B-O-R-I-N-G BORING... BECAUSE OUR DYNAMIC IS SURFACE LEVEL GARBAGE!!!! All This... Because Nobody Truly Cares About Us... Now Now Do You Feel Bad Now Come In Here Right Now!! Come!!

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PROPAGANDA TBH... DON'T FORGET THE CAPITALIST PIG REDEMPTION ARCS OR THE UNEQUAL WRITING OF THE 4 OF THE STORY'S STANCE THAT IF ANYTHING GOES AGAINST ALL OF THEM... REMEMBER... EQUALITY VILLAIN NEVER ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT EQUALITY... HE ONLY USED THAT AS A FRONT TO DESTROY THINGS... SECOND MAN DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING... HE WAS THE SAME... ZAHEER WASN'T ACTUALLY AN ANARCHIST... HE'S JUST A WEIRD MISHMASHED STEREOTYPE OF THE JOKER THAN ANYTHING THAT MAKES SENSE... AND KUVIRA IS NOTHING BUT A NAZI... THAT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS... THIS STORY WAS FILLED WITH NAZI PROPAGANDA AND KISSING...

#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Special Unique Lovable Cute Funny Black Asian #Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Oppressed Discrimination Victim Abuse Horrible Cruel Leftist #Leftism Sexism Racism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia Bodyphobia Sickphobia Animalphobia MAKE US TRANSITION...#Suomi Finland Finnish Kiva Mukava Kiltti Kaunis Hieno Kiiltävä Ystävällinen Kiinnostava ANNA TRANS...#Autism Adhd Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Psychosis Scizophrenia Bipolar Charismatic #HE WAS WRITTEN TO HOLD A GRUDGE OUT OF TRAUMA... AND TOLD HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO LIVE FOR THIS...#THERE'S NOTHING SMART ABOUT THIS... I WOULD SAY RELIGION MAN DOESN'T DESERVE THE EVIL LABEL EITHER...#OZAI AND AZULA DON'T... KUVIRA PROBABLY DOES SHE'S PRETTY MUCH HITLER...#I Like Loop 7 I Like Mobile Suit Gundam Seed I Like Spy Kyoushitsu I Like Code Geass #I Like Densetsu No Yuusha No Densetsu I Like Kakegurui I Like Simoun I Like Nana #I Like Unicorn Overlord I Like Fire Emblem I Like Legend Of Heroes Trails Of Cold Steel 3 And 4 #I DISLIKE RACIST BLACK PEOPLE... UNICORN OVERLORD HAS PRETTY IDK BLACK PEOPLE... BUT I LIKE THEM BECAUSE OF THEIR SKIN...#I WANTED TO PLAY AS THEM... BUT WE KICKED 3 VERY IMPORTANT ONES AWAY AND PLAYED AS ONLY THE WOMAN AND ELVES...#THIS WAS JUST BECAUSE THERE WAS NO SPACE ANYMORE... BUT I WANT THEM BACK... I FEEL BAD... DESPITE THEM BEING RACIST STEREOTYPES...#IN REAL LIFE MOST ALL PEOPLE ARE ABUSER BIGOT... THOSE OF “BLACK CULTURE” ALWAYS HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY BIGOTED IN ALL THE WAYS... AS HAVE #THEIR LOVERS... THIS CAN'T BE ERASED... I TRY TO WORK WHAT THIS MEANS... ALONGSIDE FIXING RACIST POWER DYNAMICS... BECAUSE THEY ARE HARD...#BECAUSE CULTURE IS IRRELEVANT... AND ACTUALLY EVIL INSTEAD OF ANYTHING TO CELEBRATE THE SAME WAY HISTORY IS... THEY'RE HARD TOGETHER...#AS LONG AS YOU'RE ALL THE PROGRESSIVE THINGS... I ASK OF YOU TO WATCH US GROW... OR PERHAPS BE REALLY GOOD TO US... OUR EQUAL...#MAKE US SMARTER PERHAPS... I ONLY SAY THIS BECAUSE... IDK... YOU COULD HELP US IN GROWING... AND WE KNOW WE AREN'T ANY BAD THINGS...#THINGS MIGHT LOOK BAD... BUT THAT IS BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE AND CONFUSING... WE ARE DEEPLY HURT AND TRAUMATIZED...#AND WE NEED TO LOVE A GROUP THAT HATES US AND TREATS US AS THEIR INFERIOR... BREEDING IN FEELINGS WE AREN'T AND THEREFORE THEY'RE LOWER...#RECREATING OLD EVIL DYNAMICS... AT THE SAME TIME... I FEEL LIKE ANY PROGRESSIVE OF ANY KIND WOULDN'T TRULY CARE ABOUT US...#BESIDES... WE'RE ALL THE SKINS INSTEAD OF SOMETHING EVIL... THAT CAN'T BE ERASED ASWELL AS THE FACT THAT THAT IS RACIST TO NOT RESPECT US..#IN THE END ONLY WE AREN'T RACIST THERE'S NOTHING RACIST ABOUT US EVERYONE THAT IS THEM THAT ARE RACIST TORWARDS US IF ANYTHING...#TO BE HONEST I WOULDN'T CALL THAT RACIST AT ALL... THE THING ONLY IS THEY ARE COMPLETE THERE MUST BE A USE FOR THESE PEOPLE...#BUT AS IS THEY'RE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE... IRRELEVANT... I FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT ALOT OF THINGS RELATED TO THIS...#BUT THAT SHOULD BE FINE... RIGHT... AFTERALL... WE'RE THE ONLY GOOD PEOPLE THERE ARE... AND WE'RE GOING SOMEWHERE...#THERE IS ALSO THAT... YOU COULD JUST BE THE ONE PERSON WE NEED AND HAVE DIFFERENT SKIN... THAT WOULD BE PRETTY A COMPLETE FIX OF THIS QUICK #SEE THERE'S NOTHING RACIST HERE THAT IS YOU THAT IS THE RACIST... AFTERALL... THE SKIN COLOR OF THE PERSON THAT WILL SAVE US IS ALLOWED TO #BE ANYTHING MEANWHILE WE HAVE ALL THE COLORS... MEANWHILE YOU'RE ALL THE BIGOTED THINGS ABUSER BIGOT A RACIST THAT DESPISES US FOR OUR SKIN

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kenobihater · 1 month

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>use capcut for 3 years

>attempt to edit a 2 hr movie down to twenty seconds with original audio overlaid by a song

>video lags, audio is fine. editing is impossible

>download inshot

>video lags, audio is fine. editing is impossible

>research reasonably priced mobile editing apps

>spend thirty dollars on luma fusion

>video is good. audio is now nearly inaudible demon cows you can only hear if you crank your volume way up

#what the actual fuck is happening here. i've spent the last 2 hrs trying to figure this shit out. i've watched at least 10 tutorial videos #i've visited the website. i've visited the subreddit. i've tried importing from my phone and from gdrive. i've tried cutting it into smaller #segments to plop into the same project. demon cows every time.#i've messed around with the settings. i'm gonna revisit the audio settings incase i missed something. i'm also gonna try uninstalling. if #nwither of those things work i'm gonna contact customer service. if they can't figure it out i'm asking for a refund and attempting to #try capcut again #so fucking annoyed... i just want to make a vid of sco's terrible horrible no good very bad day :^( i need a lot of quick cuts for that bc #he experiences something awful like every 5 minutes #oh and yeah the mp4 is fine on my phone and other editing apps. but in luma's editor AND in the export it's soft spooky cows #also it can handle short videos fine. and i just checked the time and i've actually been at this for nearly 4 hrs. fuck my stupid baka life #len speaks

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violeblanche · 5 months

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#this post is very stupid #because the focus of this isn't what i'm going to talk about but i need to say something about this thing #i was really looking forward to 911 lone star s5 #i remember crying when i read the news about the renewal #and also being sad with all the strikes #because that show gave me so much joy and it was my safe space #and i really couldn't wait for the next european con to meet the actors #especially rafale and ronen #and i remember being so sad that i couldn't attend those cons etc...#those past cons*#but then ronen ruined everything #like i said this post is really stupid #because the focus here is israel killing people committing a genocide since 1948 #but ronen being a fucking zionist ruined my safe space and my favorite show #and idk if i'm gonna watch it once it comes back #right now it's a big fat nope #and again this is just me ranting on tumblr #because what i feel is not important this stuff isn't important when there's a literal genocide happening right now #free palestine now and forever #fuck israel #ronen rubinstein #911 lone star

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caelum-in-the-avatarverse · 1 month

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Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available.

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community.

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company?

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists.

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits.

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people.

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it.

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

#ao3 #lore.fm #fanfiction #fandom history #gift economy #caelum rambles

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tobiasdrake · 4 months

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*deep breath* Okay. Here we go.

I don't think the Netflix Avatar show likes women very much. It's a great show for fans of Aang, Sokka, Zuko, and Iroh specifically. All four of those characters get a ton of great material. In fact, it's super great for Sokka stans, because the show takes him ultra-seriously and can't go five minutes without one character or another (usually a woman) praising him.

But the way it handles its female cast is troublesome.

Katara

So, all three of the main trio got some changes made to their stories. They changed Aang's story so that he wasn't running away from his responsibilities; He was just clearing his head and somehow accidentallied himself into a tsunami. Whoopsy-dooodle. Aang did nothing wrong.

They changed Sokka's story so that him being a leader of his people and a great guardian warrior is treated with complete seriousness. Multiple times, characters stop to talk about how brave and noble Sokka is for taking on such an intense responsibility, and tell him to his face what a great warrior and a wonderful leader he is. Also his misogyny is erased.

And they changed Katara's story so that she directly got her mom killed because she sucks at waterbending.

Katara tries to waterbend to attack the Fire Nation soldier but couldn't manage it, provoking the soldier to start actively searching for her and forcing her mom to fake a waterbending attack and draw his fire. They changed Katara's story so that her bad decision making fucking got her mom killed.

This is treated with the same level of severity as "Sokka was bullied by mean kids and also his dad doesn't think he's good enough to be a leader."

"I hoped Sokka would do better but not everyone is meant to have people's lives in their hands," Sokka's dad says of him.

Yeah, you're right, that's totally comparable to watching your mom get barbecued because you tried to waterbend in a situation you shouldn't have and then failed.

In fact, they give Sokka's greatest trauma more weight because it gets examined again with Yue next episode, while Katara actively getting her mom killed isn't brought up again at all. We get traumatized glimpses of it throughout the season leading up to the reveal, but after this scene in episode 5, it never comes up again.

But to be fair, Katara was a child. An event this significant would surely have motivated her, driving her to become the great waterbender she is now, right?

No! Katara sucks at waterbending and needs men who aren't even waterbenders to teach her how to waterbend. She requires instruction from Aang in episode 1 to learn how to waterbend, then from Jet in episode 3 to learn how to waterbend better.

And unlike the show, her relationship with Aang isn't a give-and-take; Katara doesn't teach Aang a single goddamn thing. He never learns to waterbend. She is a strictly a pupil throughout the whole season. Though she at least gets officially labeled a master in episode 8, so there's that.

In any case, the whole traumatic memory thing isn't even the only time she's directly compared with Sokka. Episodes 3 and 4 see Katara and Sokka bicker over whose morally dubious side character is better. Sokka likes the Mechanist and Katara likes Jet.

Ultimately, Katara is forced to eat crow when Jet turns out to be the worst, while Sokka is vindicated when the Mechanist sees the error of his ways and reforms. But not before two separate arguments where Sokka calls Katara childish and accuses her of acting like a little girl.

Arguments ultimately resolved when Katara apologizes to Sokka for not adequately respecting his very serious and ultra important role as village protector and leader. Gives him a whole speech about how great and glorious he is. And Sokka... appreciates Katara learning to respect him properly, I guess, because he never offers any similar sentiments back to her.

The show just... They need you to know how important Sokka is, okay? It's very important that you respect Sokka.

Suki

Suki suffers tremendously from that whole "Sokka's misogyny was removed" thing. Y'know, because they need something else to do with that episode. The show is deeply aware that Suki is Sokka's love interest, so they just do that right off the bat. Suki falls madly in love with him from the moment they meet, and spends the entire episode making goo-goo eyes and trying to get him to Notice Me Senpai.

They still do the "Suki Trains Sokka" stuff. But Sokka is a serious, dignified manly man worthy of the deepest respect now, so of course they don't make him wear the Kyoshi uniform. Instead, the main purpose of his training is to allow them to flirt some more. It's less martial arts training and more an excuse to grope each other and near-kiss.

Suki's just a waifu now. She still fights real good, but all of the stuff that made her relationship with Sokka interesting has been erased.

Yue

Yue, similarly, leaps straight to shipping from the word go. They write out her fiance, Hahn, by having Yue briefly meet Sokka earlier in the season. She spends one minute talking to him in the Spirit World about Spirit World lore; In that time, she falls so desperately, madly, unfathomably in love with him that she breaks off her marriage to Hahn and devotes herself to waiting for him to one day come to her.

"Never have I known such joys as that time you let me explain the spirit bear Hei Bei to you. Truly, we are destined to be together for life."

Like with Suki, they go out of their way to have Yue and Sokka already be a ship from the word 'go' so they don't have to spend time developing any kind of meaningful attraction.

They just. They really want you to know that Sokka is the manliest and most desirable man ever to walk this earth. It is very important that you understand how great he is. Women hurl themselves into his arms with zero effort whatsoever, because he's just so goddamn irresistible.

Fortunately, Hahn is super okay with this turn of events. He's the most chill guy ever, he gets along perfectly well with Sokka, and he completely supports Yue's right to dump him! In the famously misogynistic Northern Water Tribe, no less! What a swell guy. Aren't men swell?

June

June gets hit with that "rewritten as hollow waifu" stick too, but her eyes are set on Iroh. They rewrote June to be super attracted and flirty towards the man who was her unwanted sexual harasser in the source material. So that's fun.

Also, she barely does anything. Zuko hires her to find Aang, she succeeds, and then she fucks right off out of the show - But she manages to find time to express how unbelievably sexy Iroh is twice during that time.

She seriously just dropped into the show to flirt with Iroh and leave. She is unbelievably inconsequential.

Kyoshi

And then there's Kyoshi. They really want you to hate Kyoshi. She's constantly shot from below, as if looking down on Aang and the audience. Her voice takes on a demonic echoing reverb at one point as she's screaming at Aang that "THE AVATAR MUST BE A MERCILESS WARRIOR!!!"

She despises Aang, calling him a coward for running away from his responsibilities - Which, I remind you, is no longer a plot point because they unwrote that flaw from his character. So she's just a complete and utter asshole, shot from the asshole angle, yelling violently at him with asshole sound effects. They want you to despise this woman.

Azula

Awkwardly, they do not seem to want you to despise Azula.

There's a lot to be said for how Ozai treats Azula in the original show. The way the favoritism he shows her is every bit as cruel and manipulative as the unfavoritism that he shows Zuko. Ozai does not love Azula. He loves the reflection of himself he sees in her eyes, and his encouragement urges her to polish herself to ensure his reflection always shines through.

This is not that. The show instead erases the favoritism entirely. Ozai doesn't really care one way or another about either of his kids. He plays them against each other, bragging openly to Azula about how great Zuko is and unpleasably writing Azula off as weak and useless.

They've rewritten the dynamic between abusive father and his two abused kids in order to take Azula's pride away. Reimagining her from a gifted prodigy who excels at imitating the toxic behaviors of a father who doesn't truly care for her, to a put-upon overachiever tearing herself in knots to live up to the standards of her unpleasable father.

This results in a truly wild portrayal of Azula as insecure and jealous of Ozai's seemingly love for Zuko. Here, she is simply a browbeaten child constantly complaining to her friends about how mean her father is and conspiring to get one up over Daddy's Golden Child Zuko.

Which she fails at, because she backs Zhao. Zuko deftly defeats her without even realizing they're in competition.

Conclusion

The season ends well for some of these women. It ends promising that maybe we'll see Katara teaching Aang some day. It ends with Zhao bragging that Ozai just used Zuko to train Azula so maybe we'll see the more confident and misguidedly proud Azula some day. Yue becomes the moon like she's supposed to. June's still out there so maybe she'll get to do something again some day.

Katara gets to fight Pakku and lose, but she looks pretty cool. She gets to fight Zuko and lose, but she looks pretty cool. Azula learns to lightningbend because she's just so mad about Ozai's contempt for her and favoritism for Zuko, which isn't how you lightningbend.

But promises of future content fall flat when the content that exists is so underwhelming. This season made its feelings on these characters pretty evident, and it's unwise to expect better material from creators who've disappointed you with the material they already made.

The women of Netflix Avatar simply do not get to shine, outside of superficial moments like the "Women of Northern Water Tribe demand the right to fight and then fuck off and don't do anything for the entire rest of the episode" bit.

"In the midst of battle, we demand that you stop being sexist and give us permission to fight! This is a way better idea than convincing you to teach us to fight before the battle begins."

The characters of this show feel as if they've been reimagined to glorify the boys at the expense of the girls. The boys are treated with a great amount of care. They're dignified and made important movers of the plot, with their rough edges sanded off. While the girls are molded around them.

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