#and i am choosing to make that a fictional character problem

[curtis-brothers-hug]

Darry Curtis is not an abuser. He’s just not. That’s not who the character is, that’s not what the story is, and if you don’t understand that, then sorry but you don’t understand the story.

I’m sorry if you had an abusive parent, but that has nothing to do with a fictional character who was created by the author to serve a specific narrative purpose that isn’t that one. My defense of a literary character within the context of the story has nothing to do with defending real life abuse, which is a thing I can’t believe I have to say on tumblr dot com in twenty-fucking-twenty-five.

You choosing to project your personal experiences onto a fictional character is not my problem - it’s not even the author’s problem for that matter - and I am not obligated to curate my blog to cater to your emotional baggage. That’s another thing I shouldn’t have to say on tumblr in 2025. And isn’t it funny how the same people who always say that become furious when others apply that rule to them.

Media has no shortage of stories with abusive guardians/parental figures if you want that kind of catharsis and validation from fiction. Seriously there are so many, it’s almost harder to find media without it. Why would you project that onto the one story where one of the most major arcs is the protagonist’s epiphany that his older brother and guardian actually does love him? I’m sorry if a story about brothers healing and learning to recognize each other’s love and learning to show that love, makes you so mad. But you’re mad at how the story is written, not at me for pointing it out. Might I suggest finding media that doesn’t make you mad? Might I suggest not deliberately seeking out blogs just to hate-read them?

If you hate the idea of the Curtis brothers showing love and affection to each other, why would you even click on a post with my username?? If you hate Darry, why would you look at a blog that has “Darry Curtis is my favorite” in the intro? What are you even doing here?? If I saw a blog with the url I-hate-cherry-valance-because-I’m-a-misogynist, I would simply not engage. 🤷‍♀️

Oh, and another thing I shouldn’t have to say on tumblr in the year 5785: I can block whoever the fuck I want. For any reason, or for no reason. You know how you can do that? Other people can too. Infuriating, I know. For example, I’ve blocked everyone who I know would throw a tantrum at this post, and everyone who has thrown a tantrum when I’ve said “non-Jews cannot speak over Jews the same way white people can’t speak over poc.” So they’ll never see it. And if they do, it means they would have had to do some serious digging, which means I live rent free in their head. So for me it’s a win-win.

I indulged this nonsense far longer than I should have. I’m sorry I wasted even a moment of my one and only life on this earth doing so.

Stay gold, motherfuckers

[thebluestbluewords]

cinderellaverse?? In my 2024??

it’s more likely than you think!

(for context: the rotten ot4 are wildly codependent, Ben is possibly seducing them all via unreciprocated acts of kindness, and this takes place directly after the iconic Good Boy scene, only with some AU changes that aren’t ready to post yet).

(why am i posting this if no other context is finished yet??? Because I’m needy and crave validation. Next question, please).

+

“Ugh,” Mal agrees. She looks mostly asleep still, which is understandable. “Weird. Did you eat yet?” 

Carlos lifts the napkin-wrapped bundle in his hands. “I brought food. To share. If you want.” 

This, predictably, gets Mal up. They’re far enough away from the isle that Carlos can almost believe that their parents aren’t lurking behind every dark corner of the castle, but not so far that they’ll turn down fresh food, even at stupid early hours.

“Berries?” 

“Yeah. Brought berries for you. And muffins.” 

“Evie wants chocolate,” Mal says immediately, stretching out both hands for the napkin-wrapped bundle. “And weird that Ben made you meet someone new. I thought we’d already been subjected to every princess-type in the school by now.” 

“Not a person. He made me meet a— a dog.” 

Mal stops with the muffins in her hands still outstretched. “Oh,” she says carefully, which is nice of her. Their Auradon education must be kicking in, or some shit. “And you’re not halfway home?” 

“I was. But Ben sort of—put the dog away and tracked me down? He was cool about it. We went over afterwards to check out the stables, cause he thought maybe it was like, just animals I don’t like, and they’ve got cats and stuff there. And the dog was on a leash, and he’s actually super tiny and not murderous.” Carlos shrugs, telegraphing the motion as much as he can. Which isn’t much. He’s supposed to be working on the whole expressing emotions thing. Even though it’s so much easier to shut down entirely whenever he feels an emotion. “So yeah. Still alive, still here! And Ben’s being weird.” 

“Weird how?” 

“Just weird. He was being all nice and stuff. D’you think he’s been bribed by Fairy Godmother to get info on us?” 

“Might be,” Mal agrees, tearing into her muffin. She’s unwrapped the whole bundle, and laid them out in an order that’s got to make sense in her head. (it shouldn’t make sense. They can’t afford to be predictable. Predictable is how you get your lunch stolen, or poisoned, or eaten by pirates who think it’s funny to take a perfectly rotten sandwich and swap it out for seaweed slime). “You should eat though. You didn’t tell him anything, right?” 

Carlos pulls a scrap off the cinnamon sugar muffin. It’s the one Mal’s put in his assigned spot, which is directly across from her own, with Evie’s double chocolate on the left and Jay’s lemon poppyseed on the right. He’s not really hungry, but it’s still too much to turn down food, so he rolls it between his fingers until half of the sugar falls off into the napkin, and the rest of it is compressed into the smallest possible ball of muffin flesh. He can eat a little piece of it, and then Mal will stop asking, and he can eat for real later. Once he’s alone. 

He pops the ball of muffin into his mouth. “No. Not really.” 

Mal shoves another mouthful of muffin into her mouth. She picked the blueberry one, and it turns the whole mess of it vividly purple as she chews. “Cool. He’s probably just being a royal brat then, trying to get some new intel for the gossip mill. But hey, it’s cool that he showed you the stables. Maybe next time we need to get to town you can steal us a horse, yeah?” 

Carlos snorts. He’s seen a horse now, and there’s no way they can get away with stealing something that big and ornery. Cars might be bigger, but they don’t bite and they don’t poop and they don’t have teeth the size of his fingers and a desire to bite through anything that looks even remotely like a carrot. “Yeah, no. Horses are fucking giant.” 

“I wouldn’t know,” Mal says casually. She throws one of her loose berries up so she can catch it in her teeth. Sometimes, when it’s just the four of them, Mal forgets to act human and does things like this. Things where she snatches treats out of the air with her teeth, when her neck bends in ways that a human’s shouldn’t, like she’s forgotten that she only has seven bones in her neck and not seventeen like a standard dragon. “Nobody ever wakes me up at the crack of dawn to show me cool shit.” 

Carlos wants to laugh and make this whole thing normal, but he’s fucking exhausted and the cinnamon sugar from the muffin is sticky on his fingers. He’s been trying to pull it apart carefully so that his whole hands don’t get covered in the crumbly topping, but that’s been working about as well as their escape plan so far, which is to say not at fucking all. “Yeah, yeah. He also made us run laps first, don’t be jealous.” 

Mal snaps her teeth. “I’ll be whatever I want. He didn’t do anything else?“ 

“Nope.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yes, mom. He just wanted to talk a bunch about how we’re settling in. And how we’re doing emotionally.” 

[tryslora]

Disability in fiction

This was a tough post to write. 

I saw a post about disability rep, and I kept thinking about it, and wanted to share my own takes on the topic. 

I thought about it for days, trying to figure out how to word it. Then after drafting it, I stuck it in a file for a couple of weeks, trying to decide if I could even post it. This is not a topic that can be boiled down to a simple yes/no kind of answer.

Let’s start with two examples.

1 - I have a short story I started writing (it wants to grow up to be longer, so it’s waiting for time) where my original concept was to write about an older woman who is short and has major chronic pain, and I wanted to dig into fantasy reasons why this pain exists, but at the same time, have her be able to kick ass despite being exhausted and dealing with excruciatingly painful issues.

2 - I once drafted a portal fantasy storyline wherein a young man was transported into a fantasy world, and when he was given a horse to ride, he approached it very warily. He was encouraged to mount, did so, and sat there and exclaimed in shock, “My brain isn’t exploding with snot!” because his allergies hadn’t come with him into the body he had in the fantasy world.

Both stories were designed to be fun, a bit light, maybe even cozy.

So.

In one case, the disabled character remains disabled and kicks ass anyway. And in the other case, the character is magically “healed” and no longer has debilitating allergies that had wrecked his way of life.

This is the difficult part to express: I think both storylines are valid.

Bear with me while I dig into this.

First and foremost: I completely agree that we need more representation in all forms of fiction, especially when it comes to disabled people being able to live their lives. Characters with missing limbs, or non-neurotypical brains, or anxiety & depression, or hearing issues, or sight problems, or chronic pain, or… or… you get the idea. We need all of it, and we need it to not need to be magically healed in order for a story to be considered happy and cozy. Disabled people can be happy, too.

I’m all in for this, and I wouldn’t write the stories I do if I weren’t.

However, there are also moments where I am so exhausted by my body and by everything I deal with inside of it where I do wish for that magical ability to forget that my pain exists. Or for the ability to actually process information in a straight line, or make decisions without writing a hundred lists and accomplishing nothing from them. Or to be able to lie down in a field of grass without regretting it for days while I drip snot and fight sinus-pain-induced migraines.

Sometimes I want to imagine that my life is different.

And that is one of the joys of writing. I can choose to write a story where people like me or the people I know are the heroes/heroines exactly as they are, different abilities and all. Or I can choose to write a story where the problems magically resolve.

Both can be cozy, sweet, and adorable. I can give the character with chronic pain the ability to kick ass, take names, and have a sweet reunion with her ex-girlfriend. I can show all the ways that my disabilities may define how I handle my life differently than someone else, but do not define what I can and cannot do.

But I can also daydream about a life where it’s different, the same way I can daydream about having wings, or being able to teleport. For me, imagining a day with no pain is the same as a day where I can walk through walls. It is absolutely a fantasy, and about as likely to happen.

Here’s the thing: It’s okay to be angry to see what looks like disability being erased. It’s okay to wonder why the author did that, why they magically healed someone instead of letting them be who they were. But at the same time, maybe ask why, and what point of view it’s coming from. Or look a little deeper into the story and how the resolution occurs, and the effect it does have on the character (I suspect that were I to suddenly have a day of no pain, I’d be intensely reckless, given what an idiot I am while IN pain, y’know? And WOW would I regret that later…).

And for authors, think about what you’re writing. WHY is this particular event (keeping disability, erasing it, whichever or both) happening, because the reader will take note of it. They may see things that weren’t intended, but are there as unintentional biases.

Make conscious decisions for why things happen.

Someday I want to get back to both of those examples from the start of this post; I still like both concepts. But I’ll be writing them for very different reasons, and both will be healing my soul in different ways. Different kinds of daydreams. And again, I think that’s valid, too.

[thevulturesquadron]

Scrolling through ‘the bad place’ with a Dragon Age feed of what it THINKS I am interested in - and all I see is discourse on how people are wrong for shipping Rook with Solas or choosing lichdom for Emmerich or not letting Harding embrace her rage.

The thing that’s never going to change in fandoms is that people will always be enamored with themselves enough to publicly tell others what’s the right way to play their games, how to enjoy their media, whom & how to ship characters, you name it.

When it comes to Dragon Age I’ve been here through all the ‘warden/king Alistair’ discourse, ‘kill/spare Anders the terrorist’ discourse, ‘romance Cullen with mage Inquisitor’ discourse, ‘if you save the templars you’re siding with the oppressors’ discourse. It won’t ever go away because people online don’t know how to make the distinction between their own self and a role-playing narrative, and also because, genuinely, that part of the audience doesn’t know the difference between having a preference and being right.

It’s the same group of people who can’t allow themselves to enjoy a villain unless they find ways to completely excuse their behavior or actions.

And, here’s the thing, we all have a bit of preference one way or another, we all have our ‘I could never’s. These are not the problem. They often times come out of love or the passion for what resonates with us in a character or a story. But there’s something extremely selfish and limiting in loudly proclaiming that your reading of a fictional character or story is the only and right way people should be interacting with it.

Be open to a conversation about the things you love - there’s only growth to come from it.

[saylor-twift]

“he loves you, but he would never say that to your face.”

“-but he would never admit that.”

“-but he would never tell you.”

???

Are you sure? I am an avid tumblr stalker, and I’ve read so many things on silly little hat man in my time. I’ve seen things that tore my heart to pieces, that patched it up, that made me want to rip my guts out and throw up, that made me feel on top of the world.

And yet this is the one thing that bothers me so very much. I know, everyone has their own interpretations and opinions on different characters. So let me share my own.

The Wanderer is such a deeply written and intricate character, strung together with deep fears and insecurities, tragic backstories, and a beautiful story of change, healing, and moving forward. (I hate hate hate it when he is forced down to the level of nothing but oversexualization and “uwu sexy anime boy”, but that’s a conversation for another time.)

I’m sure if you’re reading this, you’re probably acquainted with Wanderer’s backstory, so I’m not going to explain. A lot of shit happened that made him who he is, and ever since the events of Irminsul, he has taken on a new path that he cannot go back on. Not like he’d ever want to. He said it himself, he never had any intention of returning to the Fatui. (And also- why choose to go backwards when you’ve got such a nice path set ahead of you?)

Anyways, point is, he’s changing. Notice how I said changing. He’s not changed, he’s just starting to. He’s getting there. Which brings me back to my argument. In the case that Wanderer ends up with a partner, things are certainly not going to be like a normal relationship. (He’s got plenty of red flags, don’t even try to deny it. But he’s a fictional character, so I suppose we can let this one slide.) Is he going to make the first move? That depends on if you make him desperate enough. Otherwise, it’s all on you, babe.

He’s not going to take it well. He’s going to deny it as hard as he can. You don’t love him, how can you? He is the furthest thing from loveable as you can get on this godforsaken planet. (His thoughts, not mine) But he certainly loves you, and, albeit with some likely pressuring assistance from Nahida, he’s come to terms with that terrifying knowledge.

“But he wouldn’t admit that to you.”

STOP. STOP RIGHT THERE.

Here is where my controversial opinion comes in. Most people tend to portray Wanderer as this cold, cut-off, aloof and irritable man, even in a relationship. And before you say anything, no, I absolutely do not think he would be the lovey-dovey, sappy, overly caring and romantic type. He’s not on either end of the spectrum, but I do think he’s somewhere in the middle (but probably leaning towards the former side).

Love is so, so very scary to him. And downright unknown. He’s traversing into uncharted waters here, give him some space to figure things out. That being said, he’s testing these waters. He’s not going to say he loves you at the beginning of a relationship. He has to make sure this thing is going to work. Your relationship is a newly built bridge, and those three words are the heavy cargo passing through. Without a strong foundation, the bridge is going to collapse, no questions asked. The only problem is, it’s going to take a long, long time to build that bridge. It’s going to be more expensive, more time consuming, and cost more materials than you had originally bargained for.

But that cargo can’t sit on one side of the bridge forever, can it? No, it has to get to the other side at some point. So if you have the patience to give your time to this bridge, the cargo will find its way to the other side. The foundation may wobble, the planks may shake, but the bridge isn’t going down.

He loves you, and he would admit it out loud. He would say it to your face. Just maybe not as soon as you want it. It’s going to hurt, and you’re going to wonder if he actually cares for you or not. Fear not, because if you pay attention to those little things he does when you’re not looking, it will feed you those little crumbs you need till you can finally be satiated when the full meal is done cooking. He mends things for you, things you had given up on because you’d never have the time nor energy to do it yourself. He cooks, and surprisingly, it’s always your preferences. He collects things that remind him of you, some he keeps out of embarrassment, and some he leaves on your bedsheets whenever you’re not home.

He’s been hurt, abandoned, and betrayed far too many times to immediately let himself fall into something as complicated as a relationship. He’s going to be distant, you’re going to disagree, probably fight a bit. He’s just seeing how far he can bend the lines, how much you really want him. (red flag maybe!! but he’s working on it, it’s going to be okay. mayyyybe you can look past just this one…) If you won’t leave even if he does this, then he thinks, maybe you’re the one. Maybe fate decides to treat him benevolently for once.

And when you finally, finally get to that point, he’s going to drown you so deep you can never get out. He’ll say he loves you, does everything in his power to make sure you never forget it. (no, he’s not going to read you love poems in the moonlight and call you darling. sorry if that’s your thing, that’s not who he is.)

This relationship will never be perfect, but relationships never are. Just as long as the two of you are willing to be patient with the other and get through your differences and clashing personalities, you are going to mold together perfectly. And even if he doesn’t say it often, (which he probably won’t. he’s certain you know it. why repeat something already ingrained into your mind? he doesn’t use those words lightly), it’s not like he’ll never say it. He won’t leave you in the dark for too long. He loves you, don’t worry. He’ll say it, but he prefers to show it.

[tocomplainfriend]

I am mad

Yup!

Bro shut up, she is white - being Latina is not a race, is an not the same as color skin. And she is a second generation immigrant too. So like... this isn't like a Salvadorian person doing a cartoon, is a daughter of Salvadorians... That grew in the USA. Being Latino doesn't mean you aren't white, you can be any race and Latino. Still wouldn't make up for the lack of representation or the existing racism. In the piece of media that's "diverse".

Salvadorian is not a race, LMAO. That's crazy- you think someone from Argentina who is white, is not white cause of their nationality??? Being Latino and having that culture does not equal a race. It's in itself a racist thing. This Latino = Race is terrible, It also comes from the idea of the "You are not Latino because you are not brown", assuming all people from Latino America are brown by default. You know how much has that happen to me? -AND MANY OTHER PEOPLE.

(I'm Latino btw)

I already have an older post about it, but - you can really see the lack of diversity in the show a lot. (Will talk about it even more other day).

Again the main thing you get is MEN, hypersexual skinny queer men (cis). You won't get to see female characters being well written, thought all the season 1 and all the episodes we got rn of season 2. All characters are skinny and similar body types and repetitive design choices. Funny enough, shows that lack of human characters still have better race-coding that helluva. (and well in hazbin you'll get POC characters that are gray, lack all ethic features... even when they are humanoid. So that is great.)

Bro you could, you imagine a character being black and having different textured hair, and you go to hell... AND EVEN THO YOU ARE HUMANOID- your hair became straight and spiky, and you are now a light gray? If you build a world like that... it just seems like the perfect racist excuse to delete ethic features out a POC character because you don't want to draw them. "Not going to a single hint of their race/culture unless it revolves on their death"... If the character became a fucking coin with dot eyes, maybe (not really, shows with no human/humanoid characters still are capable to race-code their characters). But all of these characters are humanoid- why do none of them have their different characteristics? Also, this is about a real person in the real world choosing how to design a character.

This tweet also implies that a black character when they were a life they had ethic features, but lose them when they go to hell. Which is even more fucking stupid.

If a white person with straight hair goes to hell, and their hair remains straight (assuming it has nothing to do with their death), why wouldn't there be black people with textured hair? This is dumb. This goes back to the fucking thing of "No black people in fantasy media", In the same way, it's stupid for fantasy stories to revolve around white people characteristics in fictional species and people in that world- not including all the rest of diverse human characteristics POC people have it's crazy. The biggest problem here is why the fuck all Viv's sinners characters (main characters designed by her) that are supposed to black (or mixed like Alastor) have 0 characteristic. THEY ARE HUMANOID, THEY AREN'T EVEN ABSTRACT OR AN ANIMAL OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. She didn't want to draw that nor change designs, and wanted to justify the whole concept of Alastor even using Voodou.

HOW ARE ALL THE ANGELS THAT VIV WANTS TO BE BLACK (black voice actors specified, or are race specified) HAVE NOTHING??? LIKE HELLO THE 'I'm such a nice angel character girl' HAS SPIKY STRAIGHT HAIR??? SHE IS AN ANGEL AND BLACK, WHY DIDN'T YOU DID HER HAIR TO BE CLOUDS- It's THE EASIEST SHIT YOU COULD’VE DONE.

BOOM! A FUCKING TROLL FROM A KIDS MOVIE WITH DIFFERENT HAIR. BOOM! THE FUNK TROLLS ARE SO EXPLICITLY BLACK CODED.

---

-

Bro, you know this whole thing of people with textured hair have to forcefully straighten their hair or wear wogs to a job... because people consider it ""Unprofessional"" cause racism? The erasure and discrimination of POC people and their features is a problem. That's why it is important to people represent all of those things:

(Marvel's Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur)

The only reason of why Alas tor is even mixed is purely cause Viv used the Voodou symbols because she thought they were creepy and edgy. It's sucks that all the angels and sinners that are supposed to be black have nothing.

[perkeleen-lavellan]

I feel like with any sincere discussion of Veilguard we should start off by establishing that there are multiple forms of 'fun' as it were, to be had from video games. The main purpose of a video game is, after all, to be fun. To entertain us.

So. With Veilguard I feel the problem is this; Veilguard succeeds at being fun. It succeeds at the kind of actionable fun. Veilguard is fun to actively play for most people. The combat is fun, the level design is fun, the main storyline is fun whenever we get to it. Veilguard offers fun that is quick and instant. I think it was no small feat that BioWare has finally managed to design levels and combat for a Dragon Age game that feels complete. Although I will go to my grave defending the tactical combat of DAO, it is a different more gripping kind of fun that Veilguard's mobility and systems can offer.

But there is another form a fun. The kind of fun you might be more used to associating with a good book. The fun of a story you can't wait to see the end of. The fun of fantasy world building, of seeing the marvel that is an author, or a collection of authors, who know what their vision is, and who are subtle enough to communicate that vision through fiction. The joy of seeing the result of experts building their craft. Environmental clues, implications in dialogue, tone in atmosohere. Seeing a good story unfold is fun, and with video games, which are an interactive audio visual medium how much moreso?

A book is just words, a show on tv is always linear and restricted to what the camera shows us. A video game has a whole three dimensional world that you can move inside of, witnessing the story and world building both passively and actively. A video game has dialogue and characters, who can both drive and narrate the plot for you. A video game can put you inside the world the story is happening in and immerse you in it.

And I feel that Veilguard fails to take advantage of the full breadth of the vast collection of storytelling tools a video game has. The fact that the companion quests and companion writing seems to have been left incomplete, pieces wilting on the cutting room floor when the companions are meant to be the emotional core of this story? The fact that all the factions are presented as unambiguous good guys which leaves them with no depth, their stories woefully superficial and unwilling to engage in any deeper ideas? The fact that vast amounts of world building and lore have been essentially discarded? That is all severely unfun.

So I think it's fair to say that Veilguard is fun and disappointing and not fun. The fun that I had while playing this game was always followed by a collection of things that were not fun. And the most annoying part is the parts about Veilguard which are fun are the parts that are fleeting. That I can find combat in a video game entertaining, extremely entertaining sometimes, is nothing when compared to the staying power of a gripping story with not just good set up and pay-off, but also an immaculate structure supporting that all the way throug.

When I am 80 years old I will not remember fondly the fact that Veilguard was the first Dragon Age game to finally have an actual dodge mechanic. There are always going to be games with fun combat mechanics, Veilguard isn't special for that. But I will remember Solas turning into a dragon sized wolf in a desperate bid to fight a dragon ten times his size, to help the hero he became a villain to. I will remember what it felt like to have a protagonist start off by treating Solas with suspicion, knowing there was no reason to trust Solas but choosing to give Solas a chance to prove himself trustworthy anyway, and Solas breaking that trust. And I'll remember what it felt like to have that protagonist then face Solas again, and make a choice to either be kind or to be just like Solas.

You will sometimes see gamers who say they don't really care about the writing in their games that much, but then their favourite games are things like The Witcher 3, God of War, The Last of Us. The reason they say that is because the writing is so integrally a part of the gameplay experience they don't even realise how much work it's doing. Fun gameplay doesn't matter if there is no reason to continue it.

Do you know what I remember about Dragon Age Veilguard? I remember dreading opening the game and seeing the list of companion quests in my journal that I had no interest in doing, because I had already realised how nothing a lot of them were. And I'm not talking about the gameplay of those quests, I think we've established I enjoyed smacking the bad guys and moving through the levels quite a bit. Oh no. I'm not even talking about the dialogue, not really. It was the stakes. Why were these characters doing these things, and why should I care? There was so little emotional conflict in those early to mid game companion quests.

Do you know how plot structure works when you really boil it down? Conflict is set up -> tension rises -> conflict comes to a head -> tension releases. This is why you need conflict and this is why you need characters to have flaws that they will not self psychoanalyze to a resolution within the first 5 minutes of the story. The realisation of those flaws is the plot! The character overcoming those flaws is the plot. You can't have a story without plot! What are we doing here????

That's how those quests felt. They felt like all the actually meaningful things the writers of these sub-plots had to say got crammed into their final quests. With a couple exceptions. And that's why doing most of the companion quests felt like a chore.

So, anyway, in summary. Remember that a video game contains within itself multiple forms of fun. As many forms of fun as there are ways of interacting with a game.

[lorde--of--the--rings]

SPOILERS! On Solavellan in DA4

Prefacing this in saying i’m giving my own take (not fact or fiction or right or wrong just my take) on this. I really love this community because I get to read other people’s thoughts and feelings about this game we all love. so just hoping to join the dialogue for a moment on this.

Sollavellan is a big part of the veilguard ending if you let it be/want it to be-- but I'm not convinced that this is because of the ship itself, but the fact that their relationship (romantic or platonic) is important to Solas's development as a character. I played this game and interpret solas’s part in the narrative of the game as a representation of regret, shame, and what regret and shame can drive us to when we let them— really thinking of the line in Macbeth where he remarks  "I am in blood 1440. Stepp'd in so far that, should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o'er…." (3.4 134-136)

Bro is so far into his own despair and shame that he can’t see any other way out-- he's tied up in the logical fallacy that to be good now would be a "betrayal" of those he wronged before; he can't imagine any other end to the story than to "right" his previous "wrongs" by fully "fixing" the world he sees as broken.

Enter the inquisitor, a total wildcard who disrupts his plans in DA3 and the domino effect we play out in Veilguard. Whether or not you romance Solas in DA3, Quizzy is still a blindsiding character that disrupts solas and his worldview. Here is a person with immense power and influence, who, unlike Mythal, actually wields it to protect those they love and patch up a world that THEY had a hand in breaking (rather unintentionally,… sounds familiar?) 

But more importantly-- they're able to be redeemed in a way Solas imagines to be impossible for himself.

Quizzy represents who Solas was, or could be, without his pride and without the influence of Mythal. They fit in as a puzzle piece in his transformation WITH OR WITHOUT romance, and with or without friendship.

This is why Solas having the opportunity to be redeemed in DA4 makes so much sense to me, he is effectively forced by what he lives through in DA3 to question his own plans and approach, or at the very least become aware of his own infallibility in comparison to an alternative and restorative type of problem solving. This all sets the scene for Rook and Varric once again foiling him (you meddling kids! and speaking of foils, Varric/Rook and Solas are as foily and foil characters get…) 

Oh and your ex (lover, leader, friend/foe) just appears out of the blue and is like ok bro party’s over. Confronted with all of this, with Varric’s fate, with Mythal’s memory if you choose that path, and oh, hey, look it’s Quizzy….

I know he’s the ancient elven god of trickery, but isn’t it so much more interesting that he could also be the ancient elven god of resistance, of thwarting power and authority, and in that vein be redeemed and live out this alternative side of himself? Rather than being the god of pride he can live as the spirit of wisdom he was before Mythal, and in that also resistance— resisting the toxic urge to destroy in order to create/redeem.

We know these "Gods" aren’t really "Gods," so why not let them occupy this grey space?

[olderthannetfic]

I feel like such a hypocrite reblogging all these posts about how people like male characters more than female ones even if they have similar personalities/roles/wtv, but I read about this stuff precisely because I relate to it. "People think everything men do is cool and everything women do is either weak or Mary Sue" -- yes, it's me, I'm people. It's not like I do it deliberately or I'm proud of it, but I can observe and acknowledge the empirical fact that female characters just produce a very different emotional reaction in me than male ones.

I guess I like the safe distance of projecting onto characters who 1. are more obviously not me and 2. are judged less harshly than me (bc everything men do is cool) and that's not my fault, it's the patriarchy's, but then I can't challenge it. I can't say "women can be just as cool and we shouldn't be judged more harshly", I can only say "yea women suck let me forget I am one" like I'm still in my 9gag nlog tween phase -- or well, I can *say* the former, but I keep *acting and feeling* like the latter. And btw I'm not just talking about consuming media, where all you can choose from is what's on offer; I'm also talking about creating my own fanfics, which are all about men.

--

The reason a lot of those posts are so obnoxious is that they're just people wallowing in guilt and projecting.

The fact is, lots of people do like female characters. There's plenty of fiction about women. There's plenty of fic about women. There is not, in fact, some grand, existential problem where nobody cares about the ladies. If you aren't seeing this fic or original media, that's different from it not existing.

Two, your own fanfics? FFS. If you consume media that is a sausagefest, then of fucking course, your fic will be about dudes.

Just the other day, I spotted a story I hadn't read by a fantastic fantasy novelist. I hadn't looked her up much beyond buying her trilogy, and what do you know: she actually says who she is in fandom openly!

I was entertained to find out that her big thing is kylux. You really wouldn't guess based on her pro work, which is about a harried female doctor taking care of supernatural patients. I remember those books being a refreshing change from my usual diet of nothing but slash fic. It's not just that there's a female lead but that they take a nuanced look at female characters.

Personally, as a writer, I wasn't ready to write much about women until I was better at writing overall, and my more self inserty characters aren't usually going to be women anyway unless they're like Julia from the Hilary Tamar series.

--

If you're uncomfortable with yourself, you can try to change, sure.

But fandom is full of this obnoxious plague where people think that it's the job of each person to make there be more female characters. This isn't necessary. Even if we want media or fic to be more balanced overall, it doesn't follow that each person needs to produce a balanced body of work.

Why should you in particular care about female characters?

--

But beyond all that, oh my fucking lord, I am so tired of that species of post that's like "Gosh, why is slash fandom, where people go to be horny over dudes and/or have self inserty feelings about them, not more full of stuff about ladies? It's so tragic how we all want to get rid of our boobs and wear men's clothing and be addressed as sir, just like all the other girls. What's up with that? It must be misogyny."

With a totally straight face.

Every god damn time.

[creepricot]

No hate but I’m just curious

Why do you ship the papas as brothers or situations where one of them is a minor and another is an adult (IE the Secondo x V brat post)

I don’t have an issue with it personally but I’m curious as to what your thought process behind it is. What makes these ships appealing to you?

i am genuinely very happy to answer! i explained a bit of my reasoning when i answered this ask (and went into a bit of depth as to how writing about taboo topics in the example of this specific work helped me to process some things in my personal life), but there is a couple different reasons i suppose. this may be a bit of a rant, so i’ll continue beneath the cut

to preface, i personally think being “pro” vs “anti” ship labels are gross oversimplifications to describe viewpoints on fictional ships, but i’ll just be using them here for simplicity. but i’m very "proship" with regards to encouraging creative freedom in both myself and others as i do not believe that what you would enjoy in a fictional setting is at all what you would advocate for irl— especially if the subject matter is morally reprehensible in reality. and i say this to get this on record, but i am very aware that there is a vast sea of difference between what is acceptable irl vs in fiction, and i do not condone or support actual abuse, exploitation, or rape. with this being said, i personally believe there is nothing wrong with being interested in exploring incestuous, nonconsenusal, and/or underaged dynamics. i hesitate to call them “ships” because again, its another one of those things that feels like a gross oversimplification when discussing taboo and trauma-causing dynamics; i don’t necessarily like to refer to them as ships because i feel it diminishes the gravity of the topics at hand.  half-related: while i have nothing against people who do not want to engage with or consume taboo fiction (because everyone should be able to choose what they see online– especially if avoiding the content is just safer for them overall), i do, however, have a problem with the antis advocating for total censorship of these topics. that is a rant for another time though

but i find much of the appeal for me has to do with the way that i personally enjoy my fiction. introspection and deeper analysis of characters are incredibly important to me, and as someone who has always had a special interest in psychology (and has been studying it for a number of years), this desire for exploration of the taboo and to dig into the human mind is very, very tantalizing. i like to think about what would cause someone to commit heinous acts, especially against those they love (or are at least supposed to). i like to wonder why sexuality would ever be brought into scenarios where sex should never even be an option on the table, and why one (or even both parties) would consent to that. there is a lot of room for discussion of trauma, of the variety of personal beliefs, of the awareness for how your actions are wrong, but why you just can’t seem to stop even when it would put your entire life in jeopardy if word of your actions were to ever come out, and why victims might react the way they do. when thinking about things from an abuser’s pov, there is undoubtedly a certain thrill that comes from indulging in your impulses, and those who can (even shamelessly!) permit their most disgusting, vile actions have fascinated me for years, over pretty much my entire life lol.

so it’s not so much that i enjoy these dynamics solely because they appeal to certain fetishes i or others may have (but that is certainly a part of it), it’s moreso the fact that i personally think there is a lot of exploration of characters and a sort’ve untapped richness to them. on that note, i personally. cannot for the Life of Me. stand taboo porn for the sake of being taboo porn to get off to which has No substance to it. when it comes down to the work i make, if it doesn’t act as a way for me to decompress and process traumatic things that have happened to me, or as a way to explore some sort of psychological aspect to a character or multiple character's interconnected dynamics, then i sincerely do not care for it and feels insanely soulless (however, drawing can be different because sometimes just straight up making nsfw art is fun for my eyes lmao). most of, if not all of my work, relates to my own personal lived experiences in some way or another, and i believe that having the right to an outlet for it, taboo or not, is important for everyone and people should be able to engage with fiction, or not engage with it, as they please. 

tldr; fiction has no rules, i like fucked up dynamics because i use it to process my own traumas and explore my personal fascinations with psychological states, situations, and mindsets, and how characters will react when these may clash with external societal expectations

[imomnba-x07]

I’m not a troll. I’m genuinely asking a question. I’m on anon because I know your followers would target my blog. I don’t even like John Walker’s character, I think he’s a POS personally, but he was the most recent example from your posts I had seen. See, I just think there’s a difference between hating a movie or character vs spending the amount of energy you do on hating so viscerally that you genuinely hate real life people for having a different opinion on them than you. Maybe it’s just because I’m a lot older than you and don’t see the point of spending so much negative energy on fictional things, but it’s just bizarre to me. You don’t seem willing to actually give a real answer to what I asked so if that’s the case just forget it.

Their original ask 👇🏽

Alright I’ll play ball.

No, I do not spend any “real” energy on John Walker or any of his fans. In order to spend energy I have to care, and I could give less of a fuck. There is too much Sam Wilson that occupies my big brain to have any room for Johnny after I’ve hit post. I have a very healthy and adequately positive life outside of this online shit thank you.

I am a very proud hater tho, you got me there😌 hating John actually brings me a lot of joy especially with my moots.

Let’s get into old Johnny boy now. I will absolutely side eye anyone who likes his character and I won’t apologize for that, especially not with the times we are in and the horrendous vitriol I’ve seen his fans send Sam’s way. Calling him morally grey is in itself questionable because in order to be a morally grey character, you have to have morals. Walker has none. Certainly not in this movie being dumbed down to an asshole jock whose dialogue is meant to make you forget that this is a person who murdered someone in cold blood and tried doing the same to Sam as well. So yeah, I have absolutely no problem blocking his fans who display racist behavior or think he is in any way redeemed.

I’m tired of the idea that I or anyone on here has to shrug off or put up with the racists rhetoric we receive from thunderbolt fans and their disgusting idea of Sam or what Captain America should be. So understand that our “aggressive” disdain does not formulate out of thin air. This is a growing problem that we will choose to fight however the fuck we want. We have nothing to be nice about, we owe no one kindness or the benefit of the doubt if they have not displayed any areas for grace.

Go watch Nicque Marina’s videos on whatever platform you prefer, she lays it out much more elegantly than I care to rn. I’ve made several posts about what I dislike about thunderbolts and why I have such a problem with John Walker. Since you claim to have thoroughly gone through my account, I don’t think I need to rehash the same points all over again. We’d be here all night if I did that, so by all means go find those posts instead of immediately clutching your pearls at my choice of language. I’ll even make it easy for you, they are all under the anti thunderbolts tag for you to search on my account.

I’m not sure where you get the idea that I’d send my small amount of followers after you, I have never done that shit 💀. If you think I hate you on a personal level or if you’re for some reason worried about the people I supposedly hate (for justified reasons) than I’m not sure what to tell you other than the shoe fits. Don’t put that projection on me now.

Idk what age has to do with any of this, almost everyone I know on this app is older than me lmao. But sure whatever helps you sleep at night about your perception of my maturity and the very SMALL part of myself I choose to show people online.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

“Also because I want [Nino] to be more narratively important but that is a rant for another day.” And will that day be someday soon? Wink wink nudge nudge :3c

I am happy to give Nino some love, but before we do, we need to talk about how badly canon has failed him. The reason we need to have that talk is that the love I'm going to give is far more headcanon-y than I usually go in these analysis posts. For most characters, I can give a strong canon-based argument for a core characterization. For Nino? Well, I am pulling this stuff from canon, but I wouldn't exactly label it a "strong" argument. There are even elements of my take on Nino that you could label "grasping at straws".

And I'm happy to own that! I delight in giving Nino all the love he deserves even if it doesn't perfectly match canon, but that means that my Nino is less me leaning into the best parts of canon and more me shifting through canon, grabbing a few shinny bits, and weaving them into something that you may not agree with because my vision for Nino is to elevate him to match Alya in terms of narrative importance because I want the team show season two promised me even if I have to make it myself!

And if you don't want that? Then that's fine! I'm not arguing that everyone should adopt this take. My version of Nino is about as close to an OC as I get when writing fanfic. So let's get into it and talk about why I had to do that. (Also note that I have nothing against OCs. It's just that, when it comes to my own writing, I try to reserve them for original fiction or for very minor roles that no canon character could fill. Totally a matter of personal preference and not some sort of judgement.)

The Many Ways that Canon has Done Nino Dirty

If we look at what is arguably the main group of friends - Alya, Marinette, Adrien, and Nino - then we can see a clear base concept for the first three. Alya is the plucky reporter. Marinette is the headstrong leader. Adrien is the sweet goofball. Nino is... Alya's boyfriend? Adrien's best friend? Chris' older brother?

This is the problem that I was referring to above. Alya, Adrien, and Marinette have clear roles that you could pick out by just watching Origins. Nino doesn't. He doesn't even speak in part one and part two gives him all of six lines. These lines establish him as a nice guy since they're all about him being kind to Adrien, but that's about it. Here's one of them as an example:

Miss Bustier: Agreste, Adrien? Nino: (quietly to Adrien) You say "present". Adrien: (jumps up with his hand raised) Uh, present!

This is a cute moment for sure, but when I look at it, I can't tell you who Nino is supposed to be other than a nice guy, which isn't much to go on. Nice guys can fit a lot of roles.

This isn't necessarily a flaw. Some characters have roles that are immediately obvious and some characters don't. This second class of character usually just has a more complex role that will be discovered and defined based on their actions as the story goes on. However, because Miraculous' writing is all over the place, Nino gets screwed. Instead of his actions defining his nebulous role, his actions make his role impossible to pin down! Here are a few examples:

Nino the Protector:

Season two was big on the idea that miraculous had to be suited to their holders. That's why Chloe kept getting the bee as we saw in Malediktator:

Marinette: I must choose someone who's not impressed by people in power. Who can help me trap Malediktator. Huh?! Of course! That's it. (reaches for the Miraculous of the Bee)

And why did Nino get the turtle in Anansi?

Marinette: I need a protective Miraculous. (gasps, and points at the Turtle Miraculous Master Fu is wearing) That's the one I need, Master! (Master Fu gasps) Uh, if it's okay with you. Master Fu: (smiles at Wayzz, who nods to him) Do you have someone in mind, Marinette?  Marinette: Actually, I think I found just the right person.

Okay, cool, we finally have a strong defining trait for Nino! He's a protector! Or, at least, he was here. Other episodes go directly against this role such as this nonsense from Illusion:

Nino: What's up is Ladybug and Cat Noir don't have us to help them anymore. Alya: (nervously) Um, um— uh— what do you mean, "us"? Nino: Well, us, you Rena Rouge, me Carapace! (Alya kicks his leg underneath the table) Ouch! What's the big deal? We can tell Marinette and Adrien we used to be superheroes.

This first issue with this episode is that we see Nino out his and Alya's secret identities without her permission even though the resistance did NOT require an identity reveal to be a thing. In other words, our supposed protector is taking a big risk for no reason. Then he goes and does this:

Nino: Hence my plan. We're gonna film an akumatization. Alya: And how are you, Comrade Ketchup, gonna be in the know when and where this akumatization takes place? Nino: Easy, Comrade Beurre Maître d'Hôtel. I'm gonna make it happen.

Which leads to the four friends antagonizing Gabriel even though Nino knows how complex Adrien and Gabriel's relationship is. A move that makes no sense for a supposed protector because Gabriel was far from their only option. Nino could have picked anyone, but he went with the riskiest candidate possible, exposing his best friend to a potentially massive backlash.

Nino also doesn't even try to contact Ladybug and Chat Noir prior to this insane plan, thereby putting the whole city at unnecessary risk! What kind of protector purposely causes an akuma without also coming up with mitigation strategies to minimize the resulting damage?

Everything Nino does in this episode should disqualify him from ever holding the turtle again or, at the very least, he should have to redeem himself before holding the turtle again. This is especially true since he never apologizes for anything he did in Illusion and this is just one example of the issue. It's actually kind of hard to find moments where Nino acts as a protector even though he holds the miraculous of Protection. So is he supposed to be a protector? Who knows!

Nino, The Empath:

That first example was long, so we'll pick two quicker ones to flesh this out. The first one is how Nino and Adrien's relationship is defined. In Origins and the New York Special Nino is written as a kind and sensitive guy who is acting as Adrien's guide to dating and other elements of the real world:

Nino: Yup. I love Adrien, but he's like a baby chick that's just started cracking out of his egg. He has a hard time understanding the signals people send him. Alya: What signals? Marinette isn't exactly sending them clearly. I mean, look! What is she doing with her arms? Telling him what to do in case of an emergency landing or something? Nino:(sighs) If only this trip could help Adrien finally come out of his shell.

But then you have episodes like Animan where Adrien is Nino's guide to dating:

Nino: Shhh! You know I'm no good with the ladies, especially this one all of a sudden. I mean, dude, do I go up to her and crack her a joke? Shoot her a compliment? Invite her to the zoo? Play it serious? Adrien: Nino, you're way over-thinking this. "Invite her to the zoo", you serious? Nino: Well, they have this really cool new exhibit there. Adrien: Listen, just be yourself, man.

And episodes like Illusion (discussed above) and Psycomedian (see below) where Adrien is deeply uncomfortable and Nino doesn't notice:

Nino: See, dude? I told you! Hilarious, right? Adrien: Uh... (laughs nervously) Right! Really funny, Nino. Nino: I gotta show you his other sketches. It's insane that you don't know Harry Clown! (laughs)

Which might work if these episodes were about Nino learning a lesson, but they're not. Nino learns nothing, so is he generally in tune with others or is he kind of oblivious to other peoples' feelings? And why did Nino ever think that Adrien was a good source of romantic advice if he also thinks that Adrien is "a baby chick"? Pick a lane people!

Nino's Hobbies

Our final source of confusion is trying to define what Nino even enjoys doing. Horrificator and Queen Banana have him playing around as an amature film maker, but we also see him acting as an amature DJ with the wiki even claiming that he's the head of the school's radio station. So which of these things is his passion? Movies or music?

To be clear, I think it's fine to have multiple passions, but this is a story. You want to keep your characters' non-story-relevant hobbies kind of simple, especially when the character in question is a relatively minor side character who rarely gets much screen time. It's why Alix is only really into roller skating and why Nathaniel is only really into art. You don't want them to be more complex than that.

Even the main characters get this "keep it simple" treatment with Marinette only really being into fashion and Alya only really being into her blog. The girls don't need two demanding passions that would eat up all of their free time, but that's what Nino gets! Film and music are both incredibly demanding passions and it's hard to balance a character who is into both who is also an active superhero. That's a lot for one dude to do well!

I've actually seen fics that cast Nino as wanting to be a director and fics that make him want to be a professional DJ because canon really isn't clear about this pretty basic aspect of his character, but you do need to pick a lane when writing anything that gives Nino a career and so people seem to pick a passion at random.

My Version of Nino

By now, we're hopefully in agreement that canon has made a mess of Nino's character to the point where it's near impossible to say "this is who Nino is supposed to be." However, if you want to write Nino, then you do kind of have to pick a characterization to go with, so here's what I've come up with. Feel free to embrace it or reject it, but know that you will pry my version of Nino out of my cold dead hands because I utterly adore him.

Since Nino is Carapace, I base everything about him around the concept of "protect and defend" because he needs to feel like he deserves his heroic alter ego. I do not want to make canon's mistake of giving him a miraculous that massively contradicts his writing. Especially when that writing makes him feel interchangeable with other characters. At this point, no one from canon screams "turtle miraculous" unless you want to give it to Adrien since he's Ladybug's defender.

I also designed Nino around Alya and Adrien as those will arguably be his most important relationships. He should feel like a perfect fit for boyfriend and best friend respectively. I also took Marinette into consideration because he's going to be part of her team/friend group, so he should work with her, too.

What all that means is that I basically said "okay, this is where Nino is supposed to fit in the story and this is the dumpster fire that canon gave us, how do I pull pieces from the fire and paste them together to make a character that fits who Nino should have been?"

To really get into my version of Nino, I'd almost have to give you a fic to read, but that's way too much for a Tumblr post, so let's keep this high-level and just look at some of my notes on Nino from my lore Bible:

Nino is a major audiophile. He loves listening to music and watching movies/TV shows to study how they play with sound. He wants to be an audio engineer when he's older, but he also has a general passion for all things music and film. He’ll listen to any genre and watch almost any movie or show. He loves to take charge of the music at events so that the music really fits the crowd (and so it sounds good). It isn’t unheard of for him to go see an unknown band or an odd indie film on his own. This will become a major bonding point for Nino and Adrien because of the influence of Adrien's mother. Nino has seen all of Emilie's films and loves them. It will also bond him and Alya as his knowledge of film making will allow him to help her learn the art of filming now that she's doing complex things like actions shots and editing together multiple recordings.

Nino is generally pretty laid back and likes to hear people out. His reaction to confrontation is to try to calm everyone down so that they can get to the heart of the issue. He wants everyone to get along, but he's also not going to let someone take the blame when they shouldn't. Nino protects the innocent.

Nino is incredibly protective of the people he loves. If someone he cares about is in danger, his peaceful nature goes straight out the window. He’s the kind of person who would happily take a bullet for his friends and family. This will lead to him following Alya around once the hero stuff starts because he wants to keep her safe. Never let Alya go out alone if Nino is around or even just aware that a fight is happening. Alya thinks "scoop" and Nino thinks "my Alya sense is tingling." He's NOT there to stop her from doing what she loves, he's just there to be her spotter who lets her focus on filming while he watches for danger, though that will initially be a struggle for him. Treat this as his audition/training for Carapace where he learns to balance protective instincts with getting the job done so that he's ready to perfectly take on his miraculous.

When Nino’s folks split up, his mother insisted that the kids should go to therapy to help process things. They had individual and family counseling. Nino was actually pretty cool with the divorce as he’d seen it coming, but his brother was really affected by it, so Nino spent his time working on ways to help Chris (and being told that he was a brother, not a parent, but he still wanted to help). He learned a lot from going through it and it’s why he’s so good at dealing with emotional issues. He’s also good at not taking those burdens on himself. He wants to help, but knows that it's your battle. Marinette often looks to Nino for guidance on emotional issues because she knows that she's terrible at navigating them. She has given him full permission to stop her when she's too focused on solutions over support. All of the friends will help Adrien figure out social situations, but Nino will be the main guide as he's the one with the strongest skills in that area. Plus Adrien makes Nino's protective big brother instincts go crazy.

Nino’s a bit of a loner by choice. He has "weird" hobbies that easily lend themselves to being done alone and he doesn't have any interest in "forcing" his hobbies on someone who doesn't actually enjoy them, so he spends a lot of time by himself and rarely invites others to share in his interests. He only does that when he thinks that they'll actually enjoy what he's sharing. He doesn’t mind this, but he’s also a very welcoming individual who doesn’t like to see people left out, so he’ll come out of his shell when he sees someone who needs a friend. This usually leads to him making friends who soon become closer with others, but still view him as a casual friend. He’s cool with that. He's just happy that they found their people. Adrien will be the first friend who really stays Nino’s due to an understanding of Nino’s “weird” hobbies. After all, Adrien’s the son of an actress. He’s used to weird indie films and discussions of cinematography. I'd even say that he revels in it and realizes that he has missed it desperately since his mom got too sick to do that kind of thing. Basically, Nino will fill a spot in Adrien's heart that Adrien didn't even know was empty. Adrien can listen to Nino talk about cinematography for hours and never get bored. Before Adrien, no one knew that Nino was this talkative!

If anyone wants more insights into this topic, feel free to send an ask, but I think we'll call this post done now because it's SUPER long.

[egg-emperor]

something unfortunate is a majority of people you know who somewhat regularly create Eggman stuff likely don't like me much or outright despise me for various different reasons. I'm on a mutual block with most of them too

whether it's due to me asking for credit for stuff I made (which takes extra effort with my disability and they know this), my character opinions on Eggman, the way I like to analyze and educate on his game portrayal, my headcanons and preferences, my interest and exploration of his evilness, the ways I will and won't ship him, various kinks I involve him in, etc

people also try to tell people I'm a nasty asshole over misinformation about game Eggman or different headcanons but I think those who read into my blog will see I'm never attacking people and I certainly don't in more private places like chats. I think I'm chill but misread a lot because I'm bold and passionate unapologetically

and that's usually something played up to further steer people from interacting with me too as a bunch want me isolated. if you don't like what someone is saying just for having a different opinion, you can just say they were mean about it and people will believe it, that's their tactic

and more recently it's me not addressing current real life events on my blog about Eggman because I've never commented on any since I started posting about him online over 10 years ago. but now more recent fans who don't know how far back this goes have been taking me doing what I've always done as meaning things they don't unfortunately

it's frustrating that as someone who has been an Eggman fan for almost 20 years remembers what it's like to be one of the like 3 Eggman fans while looking around for him online and eventually starting to make stuff yourself to be what you wanted to see in hopes of finding others someday-

to Eggman suddenly exploding in popularity because of Boom or the movies and then newer fans coming in and having a problem with you posting and acting the way you always did before. where you'd think I'd finally find community, I'm kicked out of the space I was in before them

I think some hold me to an impossible high standard to be everything they want to not ruin their idea of me and if I show I'm a real human with feelings, emotions, thoughts and opinions they might not like and agree with sometimes (over fictional things not even real life), they don't like me anymore but I'm not perfect, nobody is

it's fine for people to disagree with me or even dislike me but some then get very hostile and try to turn anyone against me they can, to the point even people who don't entirely hate me are hesitant to associate due to how people might view them for it and that's very frustrating

but I never joined the fandom to become popular. I know what it's like for people to genuinely find the idea of Eggman being sexy to anyone extremely weird and rare lol, it wasn't cool at all when I started, I was the only one I even knew who found him attractive for ages so I never expected fame :P

I realize I'm not the most liked fan for the ways I choose to boldly and openly express myself, how I don't sanitize myself, or lean into the ideal me that people would prefer, despite the full awareness in what would make people like me better. I'm determined to find my place as I am authentically

and I'm building a pretty nice little place for myself over here that's constantly changing in size from bigger to smaller with each uptick in controversy but overall it's becoming one of the most comfortable and chill places to express myself with wonderful followers, mutuals, and askers and I'm very grateful for that 💜

[metalichotchoco]

Honestly what I’d like to see in more ihnmaims media if we ever get any is the relationships between survivors, here’s my take, picking and choosing from each version of canon.

Ellen is the most stable so her relationships will be saved for another part

In the triangle that is ted, Gorrister and Benny it’s a vicious cycle

Ted and Benny have a complicated mutual hate towards one another they both play to their most deep insecurities. Ted already believes that everyone hates him due to being “better” or not broken the way they’ve been so it’s not hard for him to antagonize people anyways. For Benny’s part ted provokes his complexes about sexuality, animalisticness and the difference between the weak and strong. For as much as ted is a lying narcissistic criminal, he’s shameless about it, about his nature he cares about the consequences not the actions. Benny cannot own his actions at all, there’s a disconnect between the educated, handsome former general and professor and the aggressive,almost feral war criminal he is. Ted is very self centered but doesn’t handle slights to his ego well, Benny in his non mutated form is much more successful and traditionally attractive than him. God he even deludes himself into thinking am changed Benny’s “size” in the book. Both of their moralities are twisted and it’s not hard to imagine them being snippy when they both have the mind to think properly. They are also coincidentally am’s favorite victims.

I do think it would be in character for both of them to make snide remarks about gorrister’s former hippie status, he’d be seen as an extreme liberal since this book takes its characters from the dawn of the Cold War, just after ww2. Most of Benny’s pride and identity came from being in the military so that’s obvious to see how that’d pan out, whereas ted seems like the type to not care about politics unless it directly relates to him. His problems come from the idea of people not centering their lives around money or power.

Individually there’s some fun dynamics to be had. Ted in general would think gorrister is a bore. For a person who likes stories, ted finds non fiction exhausting. Gorrister likes talking about history and politics even though his spark has faded out. It’s a bit funny that Ted believes am has changed Gorrister too despite his symptoms sounding much more like being worn out and becoming depressed. It’s not like he’d really consider that a real condition though. Gorrister just finds ted to be a bit annoying. An attention seeker but he figures ted was always just a weird kind of guy.

Gorrister is mostly ambivalent to his forever roommates, though he would consider Benny a war dog past his prime. A key example of what happens to soliders, men forced to kill and then given power. Then as soon as it’s given, it’s taken away and you’re left with an unstable pitiable person. How could they go back to living a normal life after that. With am being a literal war machine made by the government Benny put so much trust in, he finds it poetic in a sober way. Benny finds Gorrister very confusing, he never understood protesters before anyways. He would’ve found him preachy if he had met him beforehand. Gorrister does threaten his masculinity though, like ted he’s a brand that’s not the ultra traditional that he’s built himself around. Gorrister freely admits that he’s had queer experiences while still carrying a traditional masculine job, a truck driver. He can’t be put into that stereotypical box that’s nice and safe for Benny. It’s also good to mention that Benny is soothed by gorrister’s stories even if in that scene he wasn’t fully there.

Both ted and Gorrister see the clear closet case that is Benny but they don’t act on that knowledge. Both of them believe that being a solider sucks but for different reasons. Ted thinks it’s for suckers who get caught up in manipulation tactics going on about morals. Gorrister also believes they are manipulated but also sees the horrors of war as that, horrors. Basically he takes a more empathic view. Gorrister and Benny both agree that Ted is annoying but not in the way ted himself thinks everyone hates him. He’s very loud and shows off his now eternal youth. They are not even sure if the man did or did not graduate college. Gorrister doesn’t mind breaking laws but he does care about people’s wellbeing whereas Benny’s stricter about following the script but he’s done worse so he doesn’t have room to talk.

[luvtonique]

Earlier today, a girl shot me a DM thanking me for not listening to people saying Melodi's body shape is unrealistic or fetishy and choosing to double down on her being a top-heavy P-shaped anorexic lanky long-armed twig lady.

She said, I quote, "I look like that IRL, and have the back problems and eating disorders to prove it. I have gigantomastia and have to get breast reduction surgeries to keep them in check [she described a lot of medical problems that come with the tissue growing too much here, too, but I cut it out cause it's pretty visceral]. I saw your post saying you're not intentionally putting representation in your game [like a year old post at this point] and this isn't about representation, it's just something that made me feel good about myself knowing someone finds my weird body shape attractive."

I told her that she is loved, and thanked her, and said that I hope that she can live a fulfilling and good life despite her disease.

She said "Same to you about your arthritis!" and that was that.

Little moments like that are why I make art and why I don't just do "what sells." I was willing to give up a huge portion of my fanbase by not flocking to Twitter in 2018 and staying here on this weird site full of people who regularly annoy me because it's my fuckin home. I was willing to leave the brony fandom after massive success in it. I am willing to receive hate-reviews from people saying my characters are "too sexualized" or that they "don't have enough identity-representation."

When people come along to tell me that something I'm doing made them happy or feel appreciated and loved, or that I helped make the hard times worth it for them, that's what really matters to me. Not filling quotas, not making characters with relatable social issues, not shoving politics or ideologies into my game to "send a message," but just those moments where the occasional person comes along and thanks me for never caving to social norms and continuing to just do the weird shit I love doing.

I love you, weird body shape girls.

Just because God hit "Random" on your body shape doesn't mean you're ugly, weird, gross or unwanted.

You're bootiful.

Also I just gotta be a snide bitch at the last line because this is Jay we're talking about. "But Jay! You'd get SO MANY MORE people coming to you and thanking you if you PUT SOME REPRESENTATION-QUOTA CHARACTERS IN YOUR GAME TO BAIT THEM OUT, LITERALLY SLAPPING THEM IN JUST TO GET BROWNIE POINTS AND INTERNET HUGS AND ACTING LIKE THAT MAKES YOU A GOOD PERSON."

That shit isn't genuine and your sense of feeling represented by disingenuous ideology-bait is as fake and fleeting as seeing a corporation put up a pride flag on their profile in February. They are using you to sell their product and you're praising them for it. I will never put a character into any work I create with the intention of representing a group of people or an ideological belief, because my characters are fictional storytelling devices, not strawmen who serve as a walking wikipedia article for a culture that the media has deemed an oppressed minority group to talk down to the audience instead of talking to the other characters.

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 16: The Ride (R)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know.

After having no problems with Christian wanting to stay with Sheila and play with Jake’s niece and nephew, you walk out to the stable with Jake. The sound of hooves and the familiar scent of hay fills the air as Jake heads toward his buckskin mare. You, on the other hand, choose a bay gelding, running your hand over his sleek coat as you prepare to saddle up.

Sheila packed you a lunch and told the two of you to have fun and just be back before dark.

Jake wore jeans, a white t-shirt, a short-sleeve plaid shirt, and a tan cowboy hat. You wore jeans, a white tank top, a plaid shirt, and a baseball cap with sunglasses, ready for the day.

As you rode through the field, your gaze sweeping across the fencing, you took in the expansive view, your breath catching at the beauty of the landscape. “This is gorgeous,” you remarked, your voice filled with admiration.

“Yeah. The view never gets old,” Jake says, his voice soft. You glance at him and realize he’s looking at you, and you blush under his gaze.

He smirks slightly, clearly noticing your reaction. “What about your place? What’s it like?”

“Nothing like this, that’s for sure,” you reply, smiling. “Lots of forest, and I’m okay with that.”

Jake raises an eyebrow. “You’ve lived in Wisconsin all of your life?”

���Born and raised,” you confirm.

“Brothers? Sisters?”

“Only child,” you answer, feeling a twinge of something you can’t quite place.

Jake gives you a thoughtful look, then nods, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Must’ve been quiet growing up,” he says, his voice soft but curious.

“It was. I kept my mind busy reading,” you answered, a small smile playing at the corner of your lips as you thought about the quiet solitude of your upbringing.

Jake nods, his gaze still focused on you as he processes your words. "Reading, huh? I bet that gave you a pretty good imagination," he says with a smirk.

You chuckle softly, a fondness creeping into your voice as you think back to those days. "It did. I could get lost in a good book for hours. Still do, actually."

Jake grins, clearly intrigued. "What kind of books? Wild adventures, or more... practical stuff?"

You laugh, shaking your head. "A little bit of both. I loved getting lost in fantasy worlds, but I also read a lot about wildlife and nature. It helped me understand what I wanted to do."

He raises an eyebrow, clearly impressed. "That makes sense. You’ve always had a way with animals. I can tell you're the real deal."

You smile at the compliment, your cheeks warming again under his gaze. "I guess it’s just who I am. Nature’s always been a part of me, you know?"

Jake’s smile softens, and he nods. "I get that. It’s clear you’ve got a deep connection with it."

You ride in silence for a moment, the peacefulness of the land wrapping around you both, before you speak again, a playful glint in your eye. "What about you? Did you always want to be a fighter pilot, or was there another dream before that?"

Jake chuckles, shaking his head as if the question caught him off guard. "Always wanted to fly, but not necessarily fighter jets. My grandfather was a pilot, so I guess I just inherited the bug." He glances over at you, his expression light but sincere. "It’s one of those things that gets in your blood, I guess."

You nod thoughtfully, taking in his words. "I can understand that. Once you’re connected to something, it’s hard to let go."

Jake’s eyes flicker over to you, his gaze a little more intense this time. "Yeah, it is. But some things are worth holding onto, you know?" He pauses for a moment, as if weighing his next words. "Like this. Being here with you."

Your heart skips a beat, the quiet intensity in his voice sending a rush of warmth through you. You give him a small smile, unable to hide the flutter in your chest. "Yeah, I think I get that, too."

You briefly gaze into his eyes and then focus on the vast field stretching out before you. “So, where does this all go?”

Jake glances at you before answering. “Pretty far. When I was a kid, I used to go to this place by the creek to get away from it all. We’ll have lunch there.”

You nod, intrigued by the idea. You ride for about another hour, the sound of the horses’ hooves mingling with the quiet rustle of the wind. Then, you hear the sound of water flowing nearby. Your gaze follows the sound, and you spot a few horses enjoying the cool water, their tails flicking in the warm sun.

“Whoa,” Jake says. “We’re here.” He hops off his horse, and you follow suit, feeling the cool breeze as you dismount.

“This is gorgeous!” you exclaim, admiring the peaceful creek and the surrounding area. You tie your horse to a tree next to Jake’s, and he grabs the basket and blanket off of his horse. He gestures toward a shady area nearby. “Over there looks good.”

As you walk over to the spot, you glance at Jake. “Your mom really cares about you.”

Jake smiles as he sets down the basket and starts spreading out the blanket. “Yeah. I’m kind of a momma’s boy.”

You laugh, teasing him. “What? Cocky Jake Seresin is a momma’s boy?”

Jake grins, giving you a playful look. “Hey, I didn’t get my two kills by being a softie,” he says with a smirk, laying the blanket out with care.

The two of you sit down on the blanket, both of you kicking off your cowboy boots and letting out a sigh of relief as your feet touch the cool ground. The sound of the creek flowing nearby and the rustling of leaves in the breeze create a peaceful backdrop for the moment.

You stretch out your legs and let out a contented sigh, taking in the tranquility of the moment. "I guess even the toughest guys need a little softness now and then," you tease, glancing at him with a playful smile.

Jake laughs, shaking his head. "I suppose so. But don’t tell anyone. My reputation’s on the line."

You chuckle, shaking your head as you start to unpack the lunch that Sheila packed. Jake looks over and reaches for the sandwiches, giving you a grin. "So, what else do you like to do? Aside from working with animals, I mean."

You glance at him, considering the question. "I love being outdoors, obviously. Hiking, fishing, that kind of thing. And I’m a sucker for a good campfire. There’s something about it that makes everything feel... right."

Jake nods, clearly intrigued. "Sounds like we’d get along just fine in the woods."

You smile at the thought. "I think so." You pause, looking around at the peaceful landscape before meeting his gaze. "What about you? What do you do when you’re not flying or working on the ranch?"

Jake leans back on his elbows, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "I guess I’ve always had a thing for working with my hands. Anything that keeps me busy. Building stuff, fixing things around the ranch. I’ve always liked that sort of thing." His eyes flicker toward you, a little more serious now. "I also like spending time with the people I care about. Being close to them. Makes everything else feel... easier."

Your heart skips a beat at his words, a warmth spreading through you. You look at him, your voice soft as you respond, "I get that. It’s the people that make life worth it, isn’t it?"

Jake’s smile deepens, his eyes filled with something you can’t quite place. "Yeah, it is." He reaches over and gently takes your hand, his touch warm and reassuring. "And I’m glad you’re part of mine."

Your breath catches in your throat at the sincerity in his voice. For a moment, the world seems to fall away, leaving just the two of you, sitting in the shade, with the sound of the creek and the rustling leaves as your only companions.

Tags: @smoothdogsgirl @alwayshave-faith @devil-angel-winchester @khouse712 @illisea @hookslove1592 @tgmreader @juliemarauderfan @djs8891