#and i can feel that buzzing in my legs. so im wary about it. im hoping it doesnt escalate

[bulldagger-bait]

LONG ramble ahead. Feel free to skip. (Also this stuff is probably a bit too personal but i dont really care tumblr is my diary and i just have to get these thoughts out)

I had my first almost completely pain free day today and... It was fucking magical. Like, I still had pain in all of the niggling areas i always do: muscle tension, joint pain.

But my nerve pain. My nerve pain! For a good while it just wasnt there. And because the pain wasnt there, the FND couldnt kick up a fuss. I felt strong. I could stand. I wasnt hurting.

When i woke up after my surgery nearly a decade ago, i was in the worst pain of my life. I was writhing and screaming and begging to die. 10 out of 10 out of 10. And over the course of my hospital stay it diminished. Went from 10 to 9 to 8. And then 8 is where it stayed. It became my new normal.

I forced my way through the first year of recovery waiting for it to get better... But it never did.

I tried to push through and not let anything hold me back. I dont know how many times i sobbed to myself quietly about how unbearable it was. I tried to take my life twice, and the pain was a significant reason why.

Eventually i got on meds that knocked it down to a 7, and a 7 is where ive been for the last 5 years. Every day.

Eventually i just kinda resigned myself to it. I couldnt think about the future because whenever i did, all i could feel was: "every moment of the rest of my life is going to feel like this". I accepted it, and i tried to move on. I found someone that i loved enough to stick around for. Someone who made living with the pain worth it.

And now, with this new cocktail of drugs... That burning pain is gone. Or at least, its no longer an electric, burning, blistering, grinding pain. Its tempered to what feels like a candle flame. And for a few rare moments here or there it goes away.

I dont know what to do with that. All of my other pain pales in comparison. They're their own little burning pains, but it doesn't feel like it matters. i can live with them.

And im finally hopeful about my future. Because for a few minutes last week i felt nothing. Blissful nothing. I was so shocked i couldnt even believe it.

When the pain came back i didnt even care or feel cheated, because all ive wanted for so long was just a few seconds pain free, and i got it. I didnt have to be drugged out of my mind (well ... Excluding the cocktail of drugs i was on). I just was. And when it was gone i wasnt upset because i knew if it could happen once, it could happen again. and i had a reason to be excited for my future; my long term future.

Im not just sticking around for other people anymore. Im sticking around for myself too. Because i deserve another five minutes without pain.

(sidenote: do i feel insanely guilty about having a break from my pain; and that its not fair; and that other people deserve it more than me; and that i shouldnt talk about it because its just rubbing it in everyones faces; and that i must have just been exaggerating the pain; and i dont deserve to even call myself disabled anymore; and that im scum; and that i should instead continue to suffer in pain because its all i know, and i dont know how to be myself without pain because its become such an integral part of who i am; and because its who ive been for near as makes no difference a decade; and that im just waiting for the other shoe to drop and somehow prove that im a fraud; and that the pain i had was never real, nor is the pain i have that the meds havent affected; and that im lying about everything; and that I dont deserve help; and that everyone in my life who has pain and hears me talk about this hates me, resents me; and that im terrified of losing the pain because it knows me intimately, and i know it, and that this severing is making me question who i am; and that the answer im getting in my head is: no one; you are no one without this.... Yeah, maybe. Maybe i am thinking that)

[miyagihawk]

why’d you only call me when you’re high? pt. 2 | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

part one

here’s part 2 by popular demand! based off the arctic monkeys song and amazing request by @deadbeatharlz <3 thank you guys for the support on part 1 im so happy you liked it :)

warnings: self harming behavior, LOTS of swearing, alcohol and drug abuse, sooo so angstyyyy buckle up

summary: it’s been 3 months since your last night with hawk, and you haven’t been yourself.

word count: 3,062



The past 3 months have been rough. Maybe the worst you’ve ever been. You fell into the deep hole that you dug yourself. The hole of loving Hawk Moskowitz.

You never thought you’d be one of those people who let unrequited love devastate their whole being. In fact you always thought the whole heartbreak thing was pathetic and melodramatic. Until it happened to you.

You hate yourself for letting him have this effect on you. But there’s a pestering voice in the back of your mind that reminds you: it’s all your fault. He didn’t ask you to love him. It’s just easier to blame him for your downfall.

Parties, drugs, alcohol. Sex with people you don’t even know. High on the same drug that compelled him to call you in the night.

You’ve become so desperate to forget him that you ruined yourself. It hurts your pride to be the whiny heartbroken girl who let a stupid boy’s rejection shatter her self worth. But the hole is too deep and there’s no hope trying to grasp onto the dirt walls to get out.

The worst part of it is that he sees it all. At school, (if you even go) he looks at you like the scum of the earth as he passes by with his little karate gang. When you end up at the same party, he’ll have a disgusted expression on his face and leave as if he can’t bare to look at you. 

Tonight is one of those nights, and you watch him from across the backyard as he goofs around with his friends. He hasn’t noticed you yet, hence why he’s even still here and not on his way out the door to get away from you.

“If you stare at him any longer, I think he’ll shoot up into flames,” your best friend Robby hands you a cup, and you don’t hesitate before downing its unknown contents. The burn in your throat makes you hum with content.

“That’s the plan,” you take your eyes of off Hawk to look at Robby. You gesture to his own cup in his hand, “Are you gonna drink that?”

“Easy there, Y/N. We got here 5 minutes ago,” he warns, but holds out the drink towards you anyway. Robby’s always been worried about you and your habits, but he knows how you can be when you’re told no.

You swallow down the drink in a few seconds, ignoring his remark. “5 minutes? I can beat my record!” you cheer sarcastically, and start walking to the kitchen in search of a keg. Robby follows closely behind you, a wary look on his face.

The fuzzy feeling starts to take over your body as you throw back drink after drink. It’s the buzz you crave every second of every day because it just makes you feel so good. Everything is happier and your cares feel so far away. Hawk feels so far away.

You sit on the couch next to Robby in your dazed trance, drunkenly rambling to him about random things. He glares at anyone who comes near you and looks like they would take advantage of you in your state.

Robby really hates you like this, but he can’t help but feel protective over you. He’s not even a fan of parties; he really only goes to keep an eye on you. You’re grateful even though you act like you hate it when he babysits you.

“Heyyy pretty Y/N! Want some?” Yasmine approaches where you sit, a joint held between her fingers. Her eyes are drooped and she sways as she stands.

You reach out to take the blunt, but you feel Robby push your arm down. “You’re already drunk. That’s enough,” he says sternly, making you roll your eyes.

“I can do what I want, Dad,” you taunt, and take the joint from Yasmine. Smoke fills up your lungs, immediately giving you pleasure. Robby just shakes his head in disapproval as the air around him becomes hazy.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Stay here,” he orders, getting up from the couch.

You nod, but of course, you don’t listen. The sound of splashing from outside sets off a lightbulb above your head and you feel like you’re floating while you walk to the backyard.

Right as you step out of the house, you make eye contact with none other than Hawk. He gives you a distasteful look like always, before turning back to his group. Asshole.

You just scoff and stumble towards the pool, where a couple is making out and a few people are drunkenly playing with the water like little kids.

Reaching the edge of the pool’s rim, you let yourself fall in with a splash. You feel the pressure in your ears start to build as you sink to the bottom. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re cross faded, but being underwater feels like a world of bliss.

The loud music of the party is muted, creating a sense of serenity. The legs of the other people in the pool make you laugh to yourself, sending bubbles from your mouth to the surface. It’s glittery and pretty and you want to stay forever.

You don’t know how long you’re under there for, but you don’t notice your lungs running out of air. It just feels good to be alone for a second. Next thing you know, you feel your eyes start to droop closed; a strange peace overcoming your body.

A loud thrashing noise in the water makes you wake up with a gasp. You swallow too much water as you feel someone grab hold of your arm. It’s all a blur and you’re being pulled up to the surface, taking you away from the tranquil world you were just in.

The music is pounds against your ears again and the air is cold on your skin. You feel your body being laid down on the concrete of the poolside, but everything feels numb. You just feel sleepy and you want to close your eyes again.

“Y/N, hey, wake up. Wake up,” a voice makes your eyes shoot back open. Someone is looking down at you, with a hand shaking your shoulder. Your vision is somewhat blurry, but the mohawk gives it away. It’s him.

You suddenly become aware of the large amount of water in your lungs and you turn over to your side to cough it up. After you get it all out, you notice the people at the party looking at you with eyes of pity mixed with judgement.

“What the fuck were you doing? You could’ve died, are you fucking stupid?” Hawk curses, but even in your inebriated state you can hear a hint of worry in his voice.

You sit up to face him. He looks angry; his clothes and hair are as wet as yours.

Maybe it’s the lack of oxygen in your brain, or maybe it’s the marijuana and alcohol, but you just feel the urge to laugh. So you do. Like a complete maniac. The way he probably just saved your life like he cares is sickly comedic to you.

His face twists in confusion as you break out into a fit of giggles. “Are you serious? You’re fucking insane, Y/N,” he gets up, shaking his head at you. He gives a glare to the people staring, and they look away in fear.

You think he’s going to leave like usual, but he surprises you by grabbing your arm to pull you up. People whisper amongst themselves as he drags you through the backyard, going through a gate that leads to front of the house. You trip over your own feet, still feeling dizzy from almost drowning, but he just pulls you along.

“What are you doing?” you ask, tugging on your arm to try and release it from the tight grip he has on you. You’re both dripping chlorinated water, leaving a track of drops on the concrete below.

“You’re going home Y/N,” he says sternly. You two arrive at his car and he opens the passenger door. “Get in.”

“Hey!” a voice yells from the house and you both turn to see Robby rushing towards the car. He looks pissed, and now you remember him telling you to stay put. Shit.

“Robby I-”

“Don’t get in there with him Y/N,” he says, sending a death stare to the boy next to you.

“I’m taking her home, Keene, so back the fuck off. Get in Y/N,” Hawk snaps, clenching his fists.

You keep quiet, not wanting to add to the fire already starting. They loathe each other; if not because of the karate rivalry, then because of you. To Robby, Hawk broke your heart and made you spiral. To Hawk, Robby is the piece of shit who he thinks is your boyfriend, and he won’t admit it but he’s jealous.

“You’re not driving her, asshole. You’re probably as drunk as her,” Robby reaches to take your arm, but Hawk pulls you back.

“You don’t know shit about me, Keene. I’ve been sober for three months, so yeah, I will drive her,” Hawk picks you up like you’re a doll, placing you in the passenger seat and closing the door. You don’t resist, you just feel tired and your head starts to pound as if the mix of drugs in your system are punishing you. The window’s down, so you can still hear the two boys loud and clear.

I’ve been sober for three months, his voice echoes in your head.

“Oh so now you care so much about her? It’s your fault she’s like this!” Robby raises his voice even more, starting to move towards Hawk threateningly. You begin to feel scared that a physical fight might actually break out, but you don’t know what to do.

“I’m not the one who almost let her die a few minutes ago, am I? Just fuck off, we’re leaving,” Hawk dismisses him, walking around the car to the driver’s seat. You’re surprised by his self control to not throw a punch, especially with his reputation.

“Robby, it’s okay. I just want to go home. I’ll call you, alright?” you reach your hand out of the window in reassurance and he takes hold of it. Hawk clenches his jaw as he turns on the engine.

“Promise you’ll be careful? I’m sorry I left you,” Robby furrows his eyebrows in worry. When he came out of the bathroom, someone filled him in on what happened to you and he almost had a heart attack.

“Promise. And it’s my fault,” you hook your pinky with his, before the car pulls out of the curb and separates you from your best friend. He watches you guys drive away, an anxious expression etched on his face.

The whole situation has sobered you up pretty well, and now you’re left with a throbbing headache, wet clothes, and awkward tension. You hate it. Being sober. You miss the foggy feeling that prevents you from thinking too hard about things. But now you’re inches away from the boy who broke your heart, all by choice.

You don’t know why you agreed to go with him, but did you even have a choice? You’re confused by his actions. He acts like he hates you but he jumps in a pool for you. He yelled at you but he’s driving you home. It all makes you overthink and it causes your head to ache even more.

You hold your head in your hands to try and ease the pain as Hawk drives quietly.

“You good?” he breaks the silence. His voice is softer compared to how he talked to Robby minutes ago.

“Head hurts,” you mumble.

“What were you doing back there? If I didn’t get you out, you’d probably be in the hospital right now,” he says. You peek at him through your hands and his eyes are on the road.

“I don’t know,” you sigh. “It was just peaceful. I didn’t really even think about breathing.”

He scoffs. “Well that’s just fucking stupid. You’re lucky I noticed you were under for so long.”

“Well thanks,” you reply quietly, feeling like a little kid being scolded.

There’s a couple beats of silence before he speaks, “What happened to you?”

The question makes you sit up and look over at him. “What are you talking about?”

“The old Y/N wouldn’t even touch a drink. You’re different,” Hawk taps his finger on the wheel in thought. His icy blue eyes quickly glance at your confused look before returning to the road.

“You happened, Hawk.” You pinch your temples in frustration. Anger starts to bubble up in your stomach at his criticism. At the mention of “old you”.

“I didn’t do this to you,” he shakes his head, as if trying to convince himself of his own words.

“You did,” you raise your voice, making him flinch. “You know it.”

“What, because I stopped sleeping with you? I didn’t make you fall in love with me, Y/N. You did that to yourself,” he spits, sending a knife to your heart and making you see red.

“You knew I loved you way before I said it. But you still stringed me along, didn’t you? You knew I would pick up everytime you called. You knew that I would let you into my bed because I was the girl who loved you no matter how fucking shitty you were!” you fire back, vomiting out words that you’ve wanted to say for months. The alcohol in your system makes you bolder than usual, but you’re grateful for it.

He’s at a loss for words at your outburst so you continue, “I didn’t ask for this Hawk. Loving you. I’m sorry that I’m such a burden and that you hate me so much that you can’t stand being in the same room as me. But please just answer me this and I’ll leave you alone forever. I’ll leave when we show up at the same party and I’ll even hide in the halls so you don’t have to see my face.”

You pause, choking on your words. You didn’t even realize that the car is already parked in front of your house and your clothes are halfway dry.

“Why don’t you love me?” your voice cracks as you spit out the question that has caused you to throw yourself away. The question with an answer that could dissipate your self worth in a mere moment.

Hawk finally looks into your glassy eyes with shock. He could’ve never anticipated what you asked him and his mouth runs dry.

“I told you, I- I don’t deserve someone like you loving me,” he swallows, but you shake your head.

“That’s not what I asked.”

He blinks slowly, trying to come up with an excuse. Any excuse, to avoid telling you the truth. You can see the inner conflict on his face, the panicked speed of his running thoughts.

“You should go home, Y/N,” he deflects, turning away from you. Putting on his mask to keep you from reading him like a book.

“I’m not going until you tell me,” you demand.

“Just get out of the car, fuck!” Hawk yells, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. It makes you jump a little, but you’re too angry to fear the flames in his eyes.

“Why can’t you just tell me!” you fire back. “You came to me almost every night, so why do I feel something that you don’t? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?”

“What do you want me to fucking say Y/N! That I do love you? Fucking fine. I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear? Just get out.”

I love you.

The same words you said that made him leave.

“You don’t even mean that,” you blink back your tears.

His voice is softer now, more gentle. “If I didn’t mean it then I wouldn’t have said it.”

“You said you needed me and then you left me,” your voice shakes and you hate how pathetic you sound.

“I-I didn’t leave you,” he stammers before taking a deep breath. “I left because you wanted something more than I could give you. I would’ve felt like a selfish asshole if we became more than just sex, Y/N. You deserve someone like Keene and yeah he’s a pussy but he’s good. Better than me.”

It feels like every piece in the puzzle is being put together. Everything makes sense. He does love you, but he was just afraid. He can’t be near you because it hurts too much to see someone he can’t have. Somehow, you can’t find the anger you’ve held against him for these past months; you just understand him now.

“I’m sorry, alright? For everything. For treating your feelings like shit. All of it.”

You swallow, thinking about his words. It all feels too much and the truth is now looking you in the eye, demanding an answer. You love him, but he dropped your heart on the floor for you to pick up every shard. Is one sorry going to magically fix everything?

“I- I don’t know what to say,” you admit, and he nods in understanding.

“You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just... move on. And you get better... I hate seeing you like this,” Hawk scans your red eyes and dilated pupils. “We’ll get to a better place and you and me, we’ll be good.”

It’s bittersweet, but he’s right. Being together now just because he loves you back would be a huge jump that would only end in broken hearts and toxic cycles. It would be foolish. As much as you want him, the only person who can fix you is yourself.

So it’s a meet up at the top of the mountain, when you’ve both made the journey from opposite sides.

“A better place,” you reiterate, before placing a light kiss to his cheek and leaving the car with a new sense of closure.

a/n: that was longer than i planned and a freaking roller coaster!!!!!!! im not sure if there should be a part 3? lmk what you think maybe it’ll just be short. but hehe i added robby into the mix he was so cute. ty for reading!

taglist for people who wanted part 2 :) ty friends for the support <3 @littlered6307 @deadbeatharlz @spiderman-berries @axastasiasstuff @r0-xie @estupidteen @hawkwhore @idkwhatishouldput4

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Scattered AU Masterpost Part 2 [COMPLETE]

Due to post length limit (which is apparently a thing), this AU has been split into two parts. Find Part 1 here!

Join the Discord server here!

Contributions:

- Mumbo has a pet ravager miscellaneous ideas: the ravager is actually a bit small as far as ravagers go. Once Mumbo leaves to go to the hermits, he doesnt take the ravager with him, for fear the environment wouldn't be right for it. However, the ravager follows him and Iskall, startling both when it comes running up to Mumbo. The ravager does not like any of the hermits, however it doesn't attack them because it can understand that Mumbo cares about them. - anonymous

- related to scattered au and "what if this happened to old hermits too" -- python's stuck in a death loop in a bastion (his spawn is right next to a piglin brute). he has no clue what's going on but by god, does he blame zloy - Anonymous

- Consider: Etho's mask protecting him from the flowers that gave Hypno so much trouble. - @/rayveewrites

- (Scattered AU) After Etho dies accidentally at the spawn haven, his spawn takes him to Xisuma. Xisuma is clinging to life when he gets there, and Etho only has time to grab his admin's arms and promise he'll be found before Xisuma passes away. Etho and Xisuma get a few hours together to work on getting Xisuma to the surface before Etho starves to death, and he's transported somewhere else. After that Etho makes it his mission to cycle through spawns as quickly as possible to help Xisuma and anyone else who is trapped in their spawn graveyard, no matter how much his legs start to fail him from the damage starting to linger from building into the sky and leaping off to respawn over and over. - @/petrichormeraki

- Some honorable mentions from my written summary for mumbo in the au: the illigers being terrified as he keeps coming back no matter how many times they kill him; he gets adopted by evoker; he fails at evoker magic, like so bad he cant even dye a sheep; the evoker being so done with mumbo that they beg the vex to give him magic; mumbo summoning scar when the vex get annoyed at how often he summons them, mumbo eventually summoning bdubs after scar's contract to mumbo runs out.... and so much more - @/therainofsweetmelody

- Moobloom!Hypno attracts bees - @/itsabork

- Not too long into his messenger journey, etho remembers what had happened to impulse by the time he, zed and tango had found him, which inspires him to try and die in a different way each time he sets off to find another hermit, partly to avoid becoming resiliant to certain death methods and partly for the challenge - Anonymous

- Because Doc hasn't died his death messages haven't been showing up in the chat. The other hermits don't know if he's even in the same world as them. - Anonymous

- (Scattered AU) More on the Mumbo accidentally summoning Scar thing; the summoning has "opened" the chat for them, but only between Mumbo and Scar. All evokers can call on their Vex, after all, so why not an evoker in more-or-less training? - @/petrichormeraki

- (alternate headcanon) There's so much discussion in the server, I wouldn't know where to start restating. However, I wanna mention one thing: scar spawning in xisuma's first spawn, deep in a geode down under ground. Being trapped in an endless death loop due to the warden lurking just outside the geode, forcing scar into the same loop xisuma had been trapped in so long ago. Not only does he have to deal with the separation from bdubs once they got out of the end, now he seemingly cant escape the warden's clutches.... - @/therainofsweetmelody

- Admins log who knows how long: I've finally managed to get my helmet some repairs with this I could get some plugins to start working hopefully. Considering the situation going on, I better not have derped to hard on this, not now. - Anonymous (singleplayer sleep now works)

- (Scattered AU) Because the code is glitchy for mob hermita, Jevin would spilt when injured too much. So while X and Jevin are trying to get to the surface, they encounter a dungeon or a mineshaft and Jevin gets fatally injured. X starts freaking out cause he doesent want to be alone again and he cant bear to watch Jevin die infront of him and risk getting lost and seperated and Jevin just splits, theres two Jevins now and X doesent know what to think of it.While there are two Jevins, their consienceness is split between the two and his motor skills are more sloppy and X notices and realises that Jevin loses more of himself the more he splits. So while he has a lower chance of losing Jevin to an unfortunate accident, Jevin slowly reverts to a slime the more be splits and the more be spends time as multiple entities. X worries that if Jevin splits for too long or too much, he might lose Jevin - @/itsabork

- The only portal to get out of Hels and into the overworld is an incredibly complex vault boarder line weapon built by Hels Doc and Hels Mumbo and the location of the portal is known only to a few and it changes every season. Now cue Helsknight and Wels sneaking all around Hels while trying to look for this basically impossible to find and get into way home. - anonymous

- It takes a while, but eventually those outside of hermitcraft start wondering why all the hermits collectively disappeared. Sure, they started a new world, and sure they’re usually more secluded, but it’s been months. Skizz wonders why he hasn’t heard from Impulse in a while. All the legates wonder where Python went. Everyone’s confused when none of the hermits turn up to the next MCC. Things get weirder when none of them sign up for the one after. -🟣

- Ok to add on to the daisy ravenger post, on his way to 0,0 Mumbo found spawn spawn, slo when he arrived everyone had him at sword point, expecting angry illiger noises they were surprised when they herd "GUYS IT'S ME!!" - Anonymous

(Note: Hermits at the haven currently include Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, and Iskall, in order of arrival. XB is en route, and Etho was there briefly before dying and respawning elsewhere.)

- Pix and Zloy would be the first to notice the hermits' absence. After all, they do a weekly show about them. Maybe they just decided to have a few weeks of downtime before moving to the next Season? Though surely it wouldn't take this long... - @/rayveewrites

- because im a legacy sucker, the legates would likely be the first to notice the hermits' disappearance. between zloy being on the server, skizz being part of zits and very close to impulse, pearl knowing a few hermits, plus python literally disappearing. what they'd do about it? no idea.to keep it more on the topic of hermits though, don't think about how devastated skizz would be to find out what impulse went through. don't think about it :) - anonymous

- Hello I have produced thoughts! I don’t have room for both so I’m sending 2 asks -when Iskall arrives at the mansion all of the illagers are wary; if one of mumbo’s friends are here then he must be leaving soon. Despite their initial feelings they’ve come to care about this idiot that wandered into their house, and they’re fully aware he has no survival instincts whatsoever, so when he does end up leaving they send a ravager to keep him (and his friends, they suppose) safe -@/haworthiaace

- so like... hear me out ok what if the reason the whole world is corrupting and weird and why a lot of people are like slowly turning into mobs is because maybe this is the way the game and the mobs are turning on the hermits for like making really inhumane farms or something like that and the mobs somehow messed with the code of the world to get revenge - anonymous

- Scattered AU!! Biffa spawned very concerned and on a beach. Where is he? How did he get here? Is he alone? Well one of his questions was answered quickly as he heard a constant buzzing sound come from his communicator, upon opening it he saw probably millions of death messages. He quickly realised this was probably supposed to be a new season of hermitcraft, but he didn't really have time to think about it, night was quickly approaching and he could already see drowned swimming towards him. - Anonymous

- How many times did X die to that Warden? Maybe he develops something to counteract the Warden’s sensors, or that his heartbeat slowed down to the point that his suit can barely pick it up (therefor making it harder for the Warden to track Xisuma down). -🦊

- Etho tried his best to fight the system and not get any new features from all his deaths. But, the game has its ways. Slowly, after every death he has, the less alive he comes back. (Undead!Etho, could be ghost, zombie variant, or skeleton variant) -@/harley-the-pancake

- Other hybrid characteristics Hypno gets of the moonbloom: His ears turn into golden cows ones, the horns grow in, he gets a tail, and little flowers grow though his hair and wrap around his horns. He can also grow flowers around him as long as he has dirt, but thankfully they dont do anything beyond smelling a lot stronger and smelling very nice (and maybe a bit of evoking certain reactions, but nothing beyond what normal flowers can do, ie lavender being calming, just a bit more intense) - anonymous

- Beetlejhost ended up in the world along with the hermits, spawning as if summoned: in the middle of a circle of beehives. His spawn is in the birch forest near the s8 spawn, and his presence spooks anyone who stumbles across him. He blends in concerningly well with the black and white of the forest. Beef feels like hes being watched whenever he goes in the birch forest to get supplies, but joe never notices a thing. He teases the hybrids about their changes, leading him to get swiftly decked- - @/therainofsweetmelody

- beetlejhost spawns in a circle of beehives in the birch forest near spawn. he thinks he's invis, in reality it's just his stripes making him blend into the birch trees. he can't leave the circle of bees, ah how wonderful it is to bee bee-tlejhost - @/justme123abz

- Beetlejhost doesn't mean to be mean, really, he just has really, really bad timing. This includes seeing a pollen-stained Hypno and, with his gravelly voice, immediately say "Woah! Someone had some fun in the sun! Tell me, did you spend a week rolling in dandilions or do you just like the color yellow?" This does not go over well - Anonymous

- Speaking of hybrids, Xisuma spawned in a Wardens den right? Well unlike the other hybrids, Xisuma has been changing too but its been slow. Every time he spawned back in that place, on the warped ground, he's changed. He doenst notice the dark starts to seem less dark, until noises get louder, until he's more sentive to it then he noticed, he gets stronger and breaking though the stone with his bare hands seems a bit easier, its not until he finds Jevin and he points out the glowing horns (1)peaking from his temples when his hair is pulled back hastily that he realizes that something has gone horribly wrong with him. Thankfully Jevin helps ground him before he can freak out, so he shelves it for later, once they're out of this cave. The warden that once was down by his spawn is no longer there btw, disappeared. The horns grow slowly, and soon glowing vein like markings appear as well. (2) - Anonymous

- Okay, Xisuma, we established he spawned in the deep dark, right? As time goes on he adapts to the dark. The skulk sensors grow on him. However as time goes on, they not only grow on him, but become a part of him. His footsteps quiet to near silence, and he can feel sounds. He certainly isn't how he was when he entered, at first glance he might even be mistaken for a warden. - Anonymous

- Tango is the only hermit other than Mumbo Daisy kind of likes. Tango thinks Daisy is absolutely adorable, and Daisy does like the positive attention(and the treats). - Anonymous

- When tango meets mumbo’s pet ravager he loses his mind, he tried so hard to get the decked out ravagers to like him and then mumbo just waltzes in riding on one of the things! He ends up hanging around her a lot and eventually forms some sort of relationship, although not as close as he would like (he also gets a little more sympathetic once he sees the effects the evokers had on mumbo, he figures the guy earned a pet ravager) - @/haworthiaace

(Hermits now at the spawn haven, in order of arrival: Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, Iskall, Tango, Impulse, Zedaph. XB is en route, Wels and Hels are traveling through Hels to get there, Ren, Doc, and Grian are attempting to get there but their success has been limited so far)

- Scattered!AU: Idea that Ex is the ONLY one that knows what is going on and how to fix it perhaps (maybe 'cause of having been banished to the void for so long)? That's why he's trying to find X. - Anonymous

- Admins log: day 1006: Me and Jevin finally see sunlight, and I've managed to get the clock function on my helmet working, finally. As we're on our way to the surface, I only hope that I can find someone or something to help guide us to where we need to go, but unfortunately I've lost all signal to chat, and I think we're next to a woodland mansion. I think I've derped up this time.

- Dear Xisuma, if you see this message then the log is working, also fixed the clock in your helmet it's been 50 days, not 1005. I was about to leave with Iskall when I noticed you and Jevin outside with a few, erm, "buddies" of mine you two where passed out and I managed to stop them from killing you with Daisy, my pet ravenger. I'll explain everything later and spawns in the village are working, finally. I recommend not moving much and work on the data packs for a bit before you do anything elseExplanation log to Xisuma part 2: Sorry if the last one got cut off abruptly, apparently there's a limit to these messages. Any way please take care of yourself. Sincerely, your pal Mumbo Jumbo

- Admins log, day 51: I first want to say thank you Mumbo for bringing me up to speed and explaining why and how me and Jevin are here, next I want to say that these logs may slow down for a bit, I'll be working on some maintenance for some packs. I still don't know why this is happening, I now hope this is a wicked nightmare and not our reality. Hang on I see something over there it looks like, wait let me ju- Voice logs are off for the moment.

- all one anon

- mooblooms spread the flowers that enraptured hypno. now that hypno is a moobloom hybrid, he can make people "hypnotizd"! he doesnt like to, but if the spawn ever gets attacked, the hermits are winning easily. - anonymous

- I like to think that at some point when there's a significant number of healthy hermits at 0,0 they start group searches to find the rest of hermits - anonymous

- After awhile, if they can't change the spawn of everyone, they begin securing all the spawn points to everyone, so if their bed is ever destroyed in the future, they won't end up in a death loop again. They secure the death loop spawn points first. - @/ciaravixen

- For undead Etho: I know that ghasts aren't technically undead mobs, but they're basically ghosts and that's what I feel etho is becoming?He's leaving his mortality behind bit by bit as he ceases to care about death and starts to use it as a tool instead.One day he'll respawn without a body at all - @/draconic-dreams

- This is just a thought. Sand cant be good for Iskall's mechanical parts, and its not like he has anything to fix it. Does he have to wait to find doc to be able to have hope of fixing himself? - anonymous

- Jellie had spawned in the village that cub and xb had come across, so when xb heads to 0,0 he takes her with him (she'd be safer in the overworld than in the end, after all). Its quite a long journey, and she makes for good company. -@/supertiny-tins

- Grian, Doc, and Ren fianlly start heading out to 0,0. Its a long journey, they decide in the end to leave their beds behind at the cabin in case any of them die so none of them end back at their orginal spawns. they would of just made new beds every time but the lack of suplies and resources near by has been low oddly enough. Doc manages to push aside most of his fears to help Grian and Ren, who are weaker, but he keeps his distance whenever he can. They make many hastily built huts as they go 1most nights are spent sleeping on hard ground, later straight up blocks of wool they find but not beds, just wool is better then ground, and it doesn't do the weaker hermits any favors but it works. There are many close calls, but they manage to avoid death, mostly due to Doc. Along the way they start to find signs of other players, coble in places it shouldn't, a rare torch, half mined trees, but no hermits. They still have a way to go, but they're getting closer to the others and safety. 2 - anonymous

- Etho once found himself spawning in the middle of an ocean with nothing and no one in sight except of course... A faint trail of lights dancing beneath the waves... Pulsing and glimmering, almost in a rhythm, something so fascinating, so... So... He was meant to be doing something...? It was... Important... At least... It might have been... It's all.. Kinda hazy... It couldn't have been more important than the lights, nothing was more important than the lights... They were so beautiful... He could watch them all day... Etho never noticed how he slipped beneath the waves, nor how the glow squid's glittering eyes had turned upon him, coiling a tentacle around his waist as it dragged its prey deep into the depths, his eyes hazed with green, he never even noticed his lungs burning for air.And he never remembered drowning after he respawned. - anonymous

- Impulse actually punches through the Nether roof so they can traverse more safely to coordinates given to them by Etho. They leave trails of blocks so they can make their way back, of course. - @/rayveewrites

(Evil X is now hiding out in a cave near spawn)

- Shattered!AU: I see everyone's Warden!Xisuma heacannons and I give you Axolotl!Xisuma. Think about it he's been hanging around with them and Jevin in the lush caves so maybe he's becoming more like them. (Frills, a more pink-ish tint to his skin, the ability to breathe underwater, etc.) :D (Is this because the thought of him having Warden traits is terrifying to me? Maybe. Is it because I think he deserves to become something not scary after his whole ordeal in the Deep Dark? Yes.) - anonymous

- Ever since getting out of the loop, Impulse has had a horrible inner conflict between his guardian side being instinctually drawn to the water, and his human brain being deeply terrified of ever being submerged again. - @/asexualbert

- Because I absolutely adore Daisy, more headcannons for Daisy.Daisy will occasionally just pick Mumbo up gently with her horns when she thinks she isn't getting enough attention. Daisy has a bell collar, because she kept scaring hermits by following Mumbo silently. Daisy is more okay with Iskall than most other hermits, though still doesn't really like him. - anonymous

- Though I'm a sucker for angst, what if Impulse was saved by a dolphin pod or something instead of transforming into a hybrid (or after transforming if Guardian!Impulse is cannon). :3 I can picture dolphins don't take kindly to the Guardian Mobs, might even find them as prey if anything since they're fish. (Guardian!Impulse wouldn't count since they're smart enough creatures to tell the difference.) - anonymous

- Prob a bit early for epilogue stuff but I like to think that, once all the glitches are fixed, that those that became hybrids and would prefer to be back to normal get changed back. - anonymous

(Shade note: Personally, I'm a sucker for stories where the characters adjust and learn to live with the unexpected changes to themselves rather than having them magically fixed, but this option is certainly still here for the people who find it appealing)

- For the scattered au, after the numerous frozen deaths Grian's gone through he starts hearing voices from the snow, even from within Ren's cabin. A snow golem forms after a wandering trader drops a pumpkin and watches from outside the cabin, deciding to guard the place after taking a liking to Grian and Ren. - anonymous

- When Etho became fully ghost, it hit hard. BeetleJhost saw this, and after a while decided to teach him how to show his form and speak. It takes a lot out of him, but it’s worth it. His friends deserve that closure. (Listen, I was expecting angst, I just wasn’t expecting that much angst.) - @/harley-the-pancake

- Mod Shade, I want you to know that angsting ghost!Etho that hard was entirely on you. I was picturing him clipping through blocks and dropping items at inconvenient points, not fading out of existence entirely. - @/draconic-dreams

- Possible explanation for everything going on in Scattered:Players were never supposed to be so powerful; in the natural state of Minecraft they're just another mob, albiet one that can craft and use any tool.But the Players weren't satisfied with that. Everyone from the admin of the smallest server to the mythological ‘dev team’ has been imposing little changes on the world since its inception, slowly tweaking it into a better environment for Player-kind.A single spawn at the world's centre. The ability of Players to chat from one end of the world to another -- even across different worlds. Even natural regeneration, an ability unique to the rarest and most powerful of mobs. As time marched on, Players not only unlocked these things but began to take them for granted, drawing far away from the behaviour of normal mobs. This became normal. Players continued to create datapacks and run commands that tweaked the very nature of the world. -@/draconic-dreams

(Shade note: Perhaps it was just a random glitch, one fundamental line of code removed to shift the balance of power. Or maybe it was orchestrated, but by who and for what purpose? Either way, it will take the Hermits a while to realize this, and even longer to fix it...if they can at all.)

- Jessasin spawned in a mesa biome, of course he's confused on how he got there and why he's in this random vanilla world and not his usual modded world, but both questions got pushed aside when the death messeges arrive. He exploared the area gathering as much recourses as he can and goes off too find someone, anyone really. - @/ghan-does-things

- hello! I discovered the scattered au literally yesterday so sorry if this is something that has already been gone over but I had an idea about bdubs, what if his constant exposure to the void and surviving on nothing but chorus fruit for who knows how long made him slightly enderman-y? 1/2 (sorry, couldn't fit the whole thing in one ask)Like nothing obvious at first, but making eye contact makes him agitated and snappy, touching water makes his skin tingle and if you look at him in the dark his eyes seem to have a very faint pink/purple glow about them? Maybe the other hermits swear he's taller than he was the last time they saw him? And the tips of his fingers are blackened, he assumes due to frostbite, but it seems to gradually be making it's way further up his hands? again sorry if this has been gone over already 2/2 - @/plantichu

- Okay so after Welsknight and Helsknight manage to get past the crazy vault door in Hels, not sure how but it probably involved a lot of cussing on Hels part and Wels saying that he never wanted to look at redstone ever again. The portal takes them to the overworld near Xisuma and Jevin. - anonymous

- (scattered au) The first set of non hermits to join this corrupt world are two strangers that apparently came from infinity's grasp. The good news they both spawned at spawn, bad news the brought the tnt duper flying machines, good news that everyone was able to calm them both down. Now the fun begins. Tldr Illmango and Methodz finally get out of the infinity portal. - anonymous

- Loving the Scattered AU. Late to the party, but was looking at the wider MC community reaction to the Hermits vanishing. Once it's clear something bad's happened, would the Legacy crew and whoever else (former Evo squad members like Martyn and Jimmy as well, if they notice Grian go dark) take steps to find out what happened? Would they go to the MCC server (it's kind of a nexus between worlds) & get Noxcrew to try "pinging" the HC server? Would X & other admins see it but be unable to respond? - @/wixelt

- I dont know if anyone has mentioned it but uhhhh, guardian xb? he was a guardian hybrid before everyone got scattered like Ren was already a wolf/dog hybrid. iirc xb spawned in a desert which would be a very interesting place for a guardian hybrid to spawn - anonymous

- Etho has been so, so desperate to avoid dying the same way twice, to stay himself. He hasn't drowned that many times, he thinks. Surely, surely he's starved more often? There's a strange feeling of deja vu hanging over him when he respawns in the ocean, though he can never understand why. Each time the squid finds him, he drowns a little slower, and each time, he glows a little stronger.And he just can't understand, almost refuses to, as he treks from biome to biome, where the small green bumps that line his arms and face came from, how his fingertips seem to almost glow when he scoops a handful of water, how long he finds himself simply staring… at the moon, at sea lanterns, at torches, at lights… He would die a different way every time. He had to. He had to stay Etho. He would not become anything else. - Anonymous

- When Mumbo comes riding into camp on Daisy, it’s easy to see Impulse is not happy about the ravager being there. That’s expected, it’s not exactly everyone’s favorite mob to see around a safe haven. But when Mumbo and Impulse make eye contact, the evoker can’t help but make a simple warding gesture his friends at the mansion taught him- it’s a reflex move. Days later, Mumbo still isn’t sure if Impulse flinched because of Daisy’s sudden growl or his ward. - @/fluffy-papaya

- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: For years, seeds and the land they built had been carefully curated by those known as players, in an effort to make it both easier and more interesting for themselves. But the land doesnt want to be controlled. Their glitched, broken world is a result of the world itself rioting against their presence. Coordinates aren't visible with the debug screen, their coms only serve the world, to tell the players what it knows. Compasses spin wildly in the overworld, for there is no "world spawn" (though coordinates are visible with one in hand. Small mercies are still given). The world resists any further changes by the simple fact it refuses to accept what a hermit communicates. Maybe it's fixable, but maybe... maybe it runs deeper than just their world. (The Legates caused a lot of damage with all those withers, after all.) - @/basaltdragon

- While Iskall is in the desert, he ends up dying quite a few times, enough to adapt, he becomes like a stray, so now, if we have skeleton Etho, we have 3 undead hermits - anonymous

- When everyone is finally gathered and they manage to come together to use all their skills, new and old, the hermits use it to flee back to Season 7. They stay there for months, mostly to heal and adjust to what happened to them. (Trauma isn't easy) Those who have friends or family off server get invited to visit, but the hermits don't leave, they nearly lost each other and they aren't willing to risk it again right now. They'll make a new season 8 at some point, the hermits are too (1/3)restless and too ingrained in their ways to completely disregard how they've always done things, but that will come when they feel better, safer, more put together, when they can finally stop sleeping in a big pile becuase they're afraid the others will disappear. They never go back to that old glitched world, the idea makes them sick, and X starts the new practice of sending in the 'Cam' and/or 'alt' accounts in first to check out the world and set up commands and plugins remotely first. (2/3) What happened before will never, ever happen again he swears it. Next time they might not be so lucky after all [if you can call them all being traumatized, many of them dying over and over again, some being permanently altered, and barely escaping lucky] (also feel free to save these asks for near the end of the au!) (3/3) - anonymous (Shade note: I personally like the idea of them fixing and learning to live in the glitched-out world, but this is another alternate ending!)

- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: Alternatively, what happened is exclusive to their world. (I don't have Dramatic Storytelling for this one, sorry) EX has ADHD to the max, and everything he does is a desperate attempt to get Noticed, to get looked up to and listened to. He's known it was "wrong" for a while, hence why he took X's name and added "Evil", but he never seriously wanted them to hurt. Just to listen to him. He'd meant to come in and fix it all and finally be a hero. He didn't realize, either through haste or inexperience, that he too would be at the mercy of what he'd done.Maybe he does, eventually, make it to where the hermits have gathered. But does he really want to admit everything? (RSD had burned him before, and if there ever was something to place the blame on his head...) - @/basaltdragon

- lasting effects of deaths

- a large amount of assorted ideas

- The bell they put on Daisy was originally of the type that are put on cats, but Grian ended up switching it out with a cowbell because he hated the sound - anonymous

- False, Keralis, Cleo, and Stress make it to spawn, bedraggled and exhausted. Out of all the Hermits, they are some of the last to arrive. Along the way, they’ve encountered trials innumerable that have left them beaten and bruised, but after months of travel, they’ve finally made it.Shortly after leaving the Moobloom field, they came upon an abandoned cart in the middle of a desolate village. With some of the redstone they had found and whatever magic they managed to scrape up, they turned it into a sort of vehicle that allowed them to travel much faster. It had a habit of breaking every six seconds or so, but nothing they couldn’t fix. For the most part. A few accidental combustions aside, they crossed the server in record time.Once at spawn, False has to be forcibly restrained from immediately starting guard duty, and several of the Hermits have to physically wrestle her into a bed in order for her to get some rest. Stress starts up a potion factory the next day, and also starts decorating the spawn with the flowers she’s collected during their travels. Keralis helps out wherever he’s needed, but in his downtime, he constructs an elaborate warren of tastefully decorated, industrial tunnels under the spawn, just in case they might help. Cleo mostly just stays in bed, creating elaborate dioramas and mourning the loss of her zombie side. She’ll get better, but it’ll take some time. And that’s ok with the rest of them. - @/topazastral

- When Doc, Grian, and Ren finally make it to 0,0 there is no fanfare, no dramtic entrance, no revulation. They were travling and suddnly, there was a base, a hermitcraft base, and they could see people. Grian clambers to feet shakily from the shed, nearly falling but Doc and Ren catch him and toghther they help him walk foward and call out to their friends. They are safe now, they're here- Is that mumbo on a ravager what the hell? Wait thats Impluse? Seems like Grian wasnt the only one changed. - anonymous

- Jellie reacting to vex!scar headcanons -she recognises him instantly. The moment she and xb arrive at spawn she darts straight towards him. Of course, she cant figure out why he looks different, but regardless, thats her owner and she demands pets!!!-sometimes she will jump up and try to pounce on his vex wings, because shiny moving thing! Scar picked up on this very quickly and will move out of the way before she gets the chance (vex wings are rather delicate and a pain to get fixed)-whe she's bored, she will always go to mumbo and daisy for attention first. This makes scar rather jealous and she knows that damn well-Scar will sometimes pick her up and fly her around not too far from spawn for a few minutes. Nothing she isnt used to, as he flys with the elytra all the time, but something about flying with vex magic just feels... different. And fun! - anonymous

- Contrary to the enderman bdubs, ender dragon bdubs. His eyes aren't the normal brown, and are instead a bright magenta, he also now has ashen gray horns. - Anonymous

- Scattered AU: The intended world "theme" Xisuma had set up for Season 8 was Large Biomes. This was before anyone knew something was going to go wrong, of course, but it's had a horrible lasting effect in the glitched world. Not everywhere has generated as "large", so when Hermits are travelling they'll sometimes find normal sized biomes, and other times they'll find one biomes that stretches an abnormal distance in all directions. Grian and Doc's mountain range is one of these large biomes. - @/wixelt

- For the scattered au, the snow golem follows Grian and Ren (and Doc) to the spawn haven, for a few days the hermits are wondering what's leaving behind snow trails and zombie flesh, so they decide to have a night watch around this area. Ren volunteered and waited, half-asleep he nearly nearly gets hit with a arrow when he hears the sound of a skeleton getting hurt. He sees the snow golem and uses his sword to kill the skeleton. The snow golem tries to flee but Ren realizes and stops it (1/2)He welcomes the snow golem and introduces it to Grian and Doc, (where the snow golem warns him that it is keeping its eyes on him in its own language). Spooked, Grian tells them that he can understand it, and the golem tells him that he's been following them since their time at the mountain. They decide to give it the name Catmint and it helps guard the hermit's base at night (while giving a stern look at Doc every now and then.(2/2) - anonymous

- (Scattered au)Seeing as we now have 3 different variations of Etho, I raise you: all 3 at once. It turns out Etho was not in fact human, instead a shapeshifter who didn't know that he was, the deaths simply sped up the process, whereas before, while he would change slightly, it was never fast enough to be noticeable - Anonymous

- I had this idea some time ago actually but I thought it was silly but now that the au in ending might as well say it. It doesn't make much sense now with all the new development srry. What if one day Mumbo was callibrating his comunication monstrosity, and suddenly his communicator had signal. He called and called but whoever was a the other side didn't pick up, until they did and Mumbo was overjoyed, but the happiness died down when he could only hear chocked sobs and sharp breathing and (1)teeth chattering. Suddenly a voice whispered, little and fragile "h-h-he-lp". Mumbo knew that voice too well. Before he could even open his mouth to let his best friend he was coming for him, he'd be okay, anything, the breathing stopped. The call was still going, but no one was at the other side anymore, Mumbo hung up with tears in his eyes, and he swore he'd find him and he'd help him. (2) - anonymous

- Scattered AU: While there's still time for them: Mumbo was the furthest Hermit out in the Overworld, & didn't set off for over a year, yet wasn't last to 0,0 (with Iskall) by any stretch. More than half the Hermits seemed to arrive after him. This can be partly attributed to Daisy making good time, but it makes you wonder how many trials & tribulations impeded False, Stress, Cleo and Keralis along the way? How much Ren, Doc & Grian were slowed by Grian's condition? What took xB or Biffa so long? - @/wixelt

- Once everyone finds each other, at the world spawn, after the initial shock, and fixing of the world of course, the hermits all decide to settle much closer to each other. They were separated for quite a while, so it makes sense why they'd decide to keep close. Some groups also make shared bases. - anonymous

- I sort of want grian to be a bit more inhuman so how about grian’s skin on his arms, legs and most of his face permanently blackened by the severe frostbite and the rest of his skin has taken on a bluish tinge, his hair is no longer the Gold it was before but almost snow white with a tinge of dark and light blue, his ears and tail are snow white with what appears to be frost and ice growing on them (1/2)(2/2) grian can not cry because the tears will immediately turned to ice, he can’t swim because if his body touches the water the water will freeze over, his skin is cold to the touch and whatever he moves his body it will make a cracking sounds like breaking glass or smashing ice, no matter how warm it is he can always see his breath... i’m trying to think of more but I’m coming up blank so that’s it hope you like it. - anonymous

- bc i cant stand when cleo is unhappy: the moment she and joe reunite, joe realizes how horrible it is for her to have her body messed with against her will. and as an admin, he can modify her code to put her back to how she was in previous seasons (aka not totally rabid but still undead) - anonymous

- Admins log final day: I'm glad we'll all be able to wake up from this nightmare, and we're able to get an exit portal going thanks to Mango and Methodz having a backup of the key to open the infinity portal's power, we should be able to not only go back in time, but destroy this broken timeline. Were all grateful for them, and I did invite them both to help us incace this happens again. This will be the last day in this timeline, if you somehow found this helmet with these logs, thank you. :-) - anonymous

- Grian, Doc, and Ren find it hard to stay away from each other too long, especially Doc and Ren becuase they've been taking care of Grian for such a long time so they find themselves kinda hovering over him and Grian finds himself seeking them out even when he's with other hermits. The other groups, who've been toghther for awhile, do it too probs - anonymous

- Soon as Grian and Mumbo see each other, they launch themselves at the other and hold on for a long, long time. Iskall join in soon as he wanders by and they talk for hours about what happened, looking over Grian's new fox parts and the blue marks on his hands, Mumbo gray stained hands and magic, and just Iskalls overall experience. Also Grian's little fox buddy absolutely loves Daisy and vice versa. Its not uncommon to see the small fox riding on the ravager's back while Daisy scares people. - Anonymous

- I know I'm a bit out of loop w scattered au & is probably getting things wrong but consider this, when Mumbo accidentally summoned Scar, leaving Bdubs alone, Bdubs freaked out. The very person that meant rescue & hope for him back in the end is now gone, he felt like he's back into the void again and he thought Scar abandoned him because he's too weak & is a burden to Scar. (Yes I am currently drowning in Scardubs angst) - @/anthosaidsmth

- The glitches in the world didn't only happen to the Hermits, it happened to all worlds created in 1.17. The cause remains unknown, though it is believed that something or even someone corrupted/changed the code (what/who is up to imagination. In the case of the latter, so is the motive). My idea, we've already confirmed that Watchers are arrogant jerks so perhaps they couldn't stand the fact that players learned to do things against the rules that they put in place, and did this out of spite. - anonymous

- A bit late but I see all the Fox!Grian headcannons so what if Grian spawned in a jungle and slowly became a parrot hybrid instead? How idk, maybe resorting to eating seeds to prevent himself from starvation because there is no animals in this jungle.

- Here's a thought: The Hels!Hermits were also effected by whatever caused the scattering. They may all hate or annoy each other, but not having each other around to pick on isn't very fun (neither are death loops). Perhaps some of them gain humility over this or learn to be at least a bit nicer to each other and their counterparts. (or some of them find sadistic amusement in their counterpart's miseries) - anonymous

- Finally, once everyone has made it safely to spawn and the problems with the world have been resolved, the season begins. Some of the Hermits may have changed (more than just physically) but over time, they adapt and recover. Grian eventually starts yet ANOTHER war, Tango gets to build DO 2.0 (X is terrified at the fact wardens are involved), and Cleo becomes a coach on 'how to be a mob hybrid' (unless all new hybrids get returned to how they were before by admin powers or just being players). - anonymous

- With all the glitches fixed and all the hermits starting to get back to their normal (Well as normal as it can be after all of these), I wonder if Scar is still a vex. All the hermits just adapted to their situations, but Scar is different, he made a deal with the Vex. - @/anthosaidsmth

- It takes all of the hermits that changed a while to get used to the changes, but eventually they do, mostly through help and support from the other hermits - anonymous

- I had a wee idea and it's a little silly but I like hurt/comfort so maybe after all the scattered au events have passed and the hermits are all together living safely, every winter some hermits invite Grian to their bases to take care of him since the snow and the cold are very bad for him. Sometimes he gets fevers but most of the time he just needs a warm blanket and someone to distract him from the snow. This is also making me wonder if Grian could develop chinophobia (fear of the snow). - Anonymous

- conclusion

Art:

- An Evoker Mumbo

- Evoker Mumbo with Daisy

- Evoker Mumbo summoning Scar

- a Guardian Impulse

- assorted doodles here and here

- A two-part Impulse comic

Writing:

- some Etho lore come back to haunt him (pt 1)

- Cleo sharing mob-hybrid tips with Impulse

- Executioner

- Fish out of water

- Homesick

- Thalassophobia

- The General's Wager (pt 2)

- The Undertow

- Saviors

- Bdubs falling

- For lack of blue shiny rocks (pt 3)

- conclusion (pt 4)

- EX in the Deep Dark

- this road I'm on's gonna turn to sand

- Snapshots

- a multi-chapter Scattered interpretation written just before the real season 8, complete with some outside lore and crossover

- Scattered Across The Map (series of parallel multi-chapter fics)

- One Hundred Thousand Worlds Away

[buckyskorpion]

“take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while” with bucky barnes? please and thanks! i love your writing btw xoxo

i know this was sent ages ago but i needed to get mi creative juices flowing so im filling this prompt now! thank you for sending this and thank u so much for enjoying my work!!

~~~~~~~~~

Bucky appears in the doorway look grumpy, lumpy, and thoroughly confused. He stuffs his hands in his oversized hoodie and glares at you from the shadows, frown deepening as you catch his eye and grin. 

“Good morning,” you sing-song. The stormcloud in the doorway grumbles like thunder. 

“It’s two-thirty,” he says, and you just shrug. 

Natasha whacks you on the side of the head which hurts like a bitch (not that you’d tell her) and says, “Stop moving.”

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, sounding wary. He shuffles further into the room with a deeply suspicious squint, trying to see what Natasha is doing on your head. You sit cross-legged at her feet while she works - she’s already sectioned your hair so you’re sure you look a treat with the deformed buns littered over your head. Now she’s got the clippers and is carefully shaving the hair at the nape of your neck, moving up in careful strokes. 

“Shaving my head,” you tell Bucky, gesturing to your hair wildly which earns you another slap from Nat. “Duh.” 

“Why?” Bucky asks slowly, like you’re dumb, and maybe you are but honestly you’re just so bored. Quarantine sucks, your hair sucks, you’re sick of it getting in your face and in your mouth and being a general pain in your ass. Training is a nightmare with long hair, Steve always sits on it somehow during movie night, and Sam won’t stop bitching about it clogging the drain in the gym showers. This is what’s best for everyone. 

“My hair, my choice,” you say, and Nat hums in agreement. “I wanna see what my skull looks like. Don’t you ever wonder that? What if I’ve had a weird shaped head this whole time and never knew.”

“You do have a weird shaped head,” Bucky says, “Don’t need to shave it to figure that out.”

“Rude,” you huff. Under you breath, like an actual child, you mutter, “Your mum’s got a weird shaped head.”

“My mum’s dead,” Bucky says, deadpan. Nat snorts and you grab a chunk of your hair to throw at Bucky, but it just falls uselessly at his feet. 

A few beats of silence pass, save for the low buzz of Nat’s clippers. It feels really nice, like every stroke is ten pounds off your shoulders (or scalp, you suppose) and you can’t wait for Nat to be done. She moves onto the next section, kneeling in a ring of your hair on the ground, while Bucky just stands in front of you shuffling from foot to foot like an idiot.

“Take a seat,” you say, gesturing to the floor space in front of you. “We’re gonna be here a while.”

Bucky hesitates for a second. You can hear his metal hand whirring in the pocket of his hoodie like he’s wringing his hands together, but eventually he folds himself down to sit cross-legged in front of you. You smile at him, and he smiles back but it morphs into more of a laugh. His face scrunches up all cute as he looks at you and you can’t help but poke your tongue out at him. 

“You look funny,” he says, gesturing to the weird buns Nat’s put your hair in to hold it out of her way. 

“That’s rich,” you say, gesturing to his face. He rolls his eyes but he’s still smiling, so you know he’s not really offended. But you’re looking at him now and he does look funny - dark circles under his eyes, red rimmed like he’s been crying or up all night or maybe both. He must’ve been wandering around the compound at two in the morning for a reason, and unless it was to shave his head as well, it probably wasn’t a good one. 

He seems happy enough now, sitting on your bedroom floor with you and Nat and the soft hum of the clippers. She’s done one side of your head now, and it feels weird to not have the familiar curtain of hair tucked behind your ear. You reach up to move it only to find nothing there, your fingers brushing against fresh, cropped stubble instead. It feels so different - soft but rough at the same time, scratchy under your fingertips but so good on your scalp. You feel your eyes grow wide as you run your fingers over your new hair again, ignoring Nat’s annoyed huff at your movements. 

“You like it?” Bucky asks, smiling at you stupid. A rush of giddy excitement shoots through your chest, spurring you to reach out and grab Bucky’s arm without thinking. 

“Feel it,” you say, tugging his arm until his hand leaves his pocket. He looks wildly uncomfortable for a moment before he relents, letting you manoeuvre his flesh hand onto the side of your head. 

“Do you want me to cut you?” Nat asks, but she doesn’t sound pissed. In fact, she sounds amused, and that’s never a good sign for you. But you can’t really focus on that when Bucky is now entranced with the feeling of your buzzed head under his fingertips. 

He stares wide-eyed as he rubs the side of your head, and you let your eyes flutter closed at the feeling. It’s nice, alright? Bucky’s touch tingles all over your scalp and down your spine, little lightning bolts to follow his moody thunder from before. All trace of his bad mood is gone as he scratches at your buzz, now, making you shiver. 

That seems to be the final straw for Natasha, who finishes off the last chunk and clicks the clippers off. The silence startles Bucky and he lets his hand drop, looking up almost guiltily at Nat as she says, “I’m done, I’m going to bed. Have fun, idiots.”

“Thanks Tash,” you say, but you don’t even look at her as she leaves the room. You’re too busy looking at Bucky. 

“How’s it look?” you ask, all quiet in your now silent bedroom. Bucky snaps his gaze back from the empty space Nat once took up to you, eyes widening as he takes in the full picture of your middle-of-the-night-breakdown decision. 

He swallows, but his voice still sounds hoarse when he says, “Um, good. Looks neat.”

“Neat, huh?” you say, and run your hand over your head. That’s different, for sure. Gone is the length and weight around your shoulders, and when you shake your head like a wet dog you’ve never felt so unencumbered. Bucky laughs at your antics and you grin back, almost breathless, so enamoured with the cool waft of the aircon on your nearly exposed scalp and the absolute lack of anything to get in your way. You say, “Yeah, pretty fucking neat.”

“I liked your long hair,” Bucky says, and you almost frown until he adds, “But I like this, too. Maybe more. It feels nice.”

“Like a tennis ball,” you say, nodding solemnly. 

“You’re so fucking stupid,” Bucky says with an eyeroll, but you just grin. You rise onto your knees, crawling into Bucky’s lap before he can say anything and rubbing your head in his face like a deranged cat. He squawks and tries to lean away from you without also toppling over onto his back, and you just laugh. He grips your waist to stabilise you both and you settle a bit, letting your legs loop around his hips and your hands to rest on his shoulders.

“You think it feels nice,” you say, teasing lightly. Bucky makes to shove you off but you clench your thighs and hold on tight, all two-hundred pounds of Bucky no match for your stubborn idiot-streak. “You like it.”

“Said that, didn’t I? Turn your ears on,” Bucky says, but he’s blushing so you know you’ve won. 

“You like me,” you say, and you grin, because you finally push Bucky over the line you always love to toe. Teasing Bucky is a sport and you’re the Olympic champion, the Usain Bolt - you win every time. Bucky growls and snaps a hand up to grip the back of your skull. You’re delighted to find his giant hand spans the entirety of the back of your scalp as he holds you in place. He scritches into the short hairs and you’re even more delighted at the feeling that zings down your spine to your cunt almost instantaneously. 

“And you like that,” Bucky grins, all sharp teeth and dark eyes because he’s a devil and teasing you just so happens to be his Olympic gold as well. You make a sound almost like a groan, kind of like a purr, and nudge your head back into his hand some more so he keeps touching you like that. 

“Don’t like you, though,” you say, breathless now so it doesn’t quite have the same impact. Bucky rocks you backwards, lying you flat so he can crawl on top of you despite the absolute carnage of your old hair littering the carpet and now, probably, all of your clothes. Good thing you won’t be needing those much longer.

“We’ll see about that,” Bucky says, and see about that you most definitely do. 

[venusloveslobotomies]

Pyromania (Bucky x Reader) 4

 Summary: (Winter Soldier-Endgame Insert) You’re an enhanced HYDRA agent who negotiated her way out of being a weapon. You’re now the nurse/ aid of the Winter Soldier. You end up escaping with him and follow him in and out of danger while slowly developing feelings for each other.

Words: 1885 (approx) Chapter: 4/? Part 3

Selene Carter, age 22 (replaces Sharon Carter) (im sorryyyy)

  I sit to the side as a technician fixes Soldat’s arm. I was correct in that whatever Romanoff did to it, it really fucked with the functionality. I’m staring intently at him but I can tell there’s something going on in his head. He’s fixed his eyes straight ahead, barely blinking.   He suddenly shoves the tech across the room and instantly the soldiers point their guns at him. I’m on my feet and tensed as he sits there silently.     “Sir, he’s unstable, erratic,” The door swings open and in marches Pierce. The guns go down as he approaches Soldat.

   “Mission report,” Silence, “Mission report now,” Pierce walks forward and leans down slowly before smacking my soldier right across the face as hard as he can. My body moves before I can process my actions. I plant myself in front of him, hands sparking and muscles twitching. Pierce steps back slightly, fear flashing across his face before he can compose himself.     “Do that again,” I growl, “I dare you,” I feel a tapping at my hip and I step sideways.    “The man on the bridge. Who was he?” There’s something strange about my soldier’s voice. Pierce seems cautious as he speaks. Choosing his words carefully. His eyes keep flicking up to my face.    “You met him earlier this week on another assignment,”     “I knew him,” Pierce pulls a stool over.    “Your work has been a gift to mankind,”   I make eye contact with Petrovic who subtly motions with his hands at mine. I look down and they’ve burst into flames. I extinguish them and feel the warmth leave my back as well. Hair must’ve caught too. The other guards and officials in the room are studying me warily. Pierce is continuing with his weird speech, “And HYDRA can’t give the world the freedom it deserves,”    “But I knew him…” I snap my fingers to caution him. If he questions too much, they’ll wipe him again. And I hate watching it.   Pierce looks at me and then sighs and stands up. I walk over to my soldier and gently stroke his hair, tangling my fingers in it. He reaches up to shake me off before stopping and letting his hand drop to his lap.     “Prep him,”    “He’s been out of cryo-freeze too long,” I’m about ready to murder that tech when Pierce says the worst thing possible.    “Then wipe him and start over,” I feel Soldat start to shake. I push his hair back and kneel in front of him. It’s a painful process and it hurts me almost as much as it hurts him.    “Calm. Down. I’ll be right here,” I’m getting anxious now too but I push it down and put on a smile for him, “I’m right here. I’m not leaving your side,” His eyes reflect the fear I feel churning in my stomach as he stares at me. Petrovic taps me to back up. Soldat grips my hands and I almost just stay there but I know I’ll be forced away one way or another so I lean back down to press my lips to his head while I work my hand out of his grip.   I back up and the techs push him back into the chair and give him the mouth guard to prevent him from screaming too loud or breaking his jaw. The machine locks him in and lowers the face pieces. I know I’m shaking. Petrovic touches my shoulder in a gesture of comfort and I almost turn away but Soldat catches my eye and I know I have to watch.   I steel myself and I feel my hair, feet and hands catch. The flames snake their way up my legs, up my arms and up my neck. I notice people stepping away in my peripheral. I hear the electricity buzz its way into his head and he starts screaming. The flames turn blue then white with heat and I see Pierce walking away. I can’t bring myself to look away from my soldier screaming in pain.   I open my eyes with a start and the room is dead silent. I’ve hit the floor and am on my knees, burning the shit out of the stone ground. The procedure is clearly over but no one moves. They all have their eyes, and a few guns, trained on me. The Russians are used to it, as is Petrovic, and only watch with pity in their eyes but the Americans are tense and wary with their guns pointed straight at my head.   It takes a moment to regain my movement and as I move to stand, I notice the flames are flickering high but only orange and yellow. The heat has gone down considerably. I slowly bring down the height of the flames until there are only a few tendrils of red dancing around my hands and then only smoke clings to me.   I make my way slowly to my soldier. He’s awake, barely. I touch his arm cautiously. He eyes me warily before recognition kicks in and he relaxes. I’m lucky that due to the programming, the cryo and the simple fact that I’m the one constant in his life he remembers me despite the wiping.   He’s released from the machine and sits up. Petrovic recites the words and he switches immediately.    “Soldat?”    “Ready to comply,” I back up and tune out of Petrovic giving him the standard briefing of the situation and HYDRA.     “Y/n,” I turn back around, “You’re on site at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. Not backup, not first aid. You’re with Rumlow until this one kills Rogers and Romanoff,” I hang my head and let out a high pitched moan. I really really don’t like Rumlow. He’s a type A alpha male with some sort of superiority complex and just overall unbearable.    “Can’t I just shadow him?” I jerk my head towards my soldier.    “Sorry, I advised that but Pierce prefers him to work alone,” Petrovic shrugs.   I know he wants to do more. The older Serbain man does have a heart. And that’s rare around here. He does his best to keep Soldat and I happy. I’ve known him since he was young and I’m sure he doesn’t like aging as the decades pass while Soldat and I stay young and unchanging.    “I hate Rumlow,” I mutter under my breath.   I’m flown out with Soldat by my side. He’s still nervous. I can tell. There’s so many reasons why I hate the reprogramming process. Just one of those reasons is working through him trusting me again. It doesn’t take long but right now he’s still going through his memories of me and placing me as a friend and caregiver rather than a threat or another official. I’d rather be talking to him and holding his hand right now. But I know from experience he’s completely out of it right now, just a few hours after being wiped, his eyes have been fixed on me since he was released. It’s definitely not fun. He’s probably coming to the conclusion that I’m on his side but I force myself to ignore it.   I tap my foot anxiously and pull out the small handmade chain around my neck from under the uniform. I slide my fingers over the intricate metal and Chungae’s face flashes into my mind. She’s the one who made it. I wonder briefly if she’s still alive before putting the thought out of my head. Even if she was, I’ll never see her again.   We land with a bump and I’m taken to the main control center of SHIELD while Soldat heads off to find Rogers. I hang around for a bit, uninterested in all the technology that surrounds me while the soldiers walk around, both observing and guarding. I fiddle with my chain again and wander around the room.   I pick up a pad of paper and find a pen. I settle on the floor in the corner of the room and scribble for a bit. I’m not an artist by any means. I have a notebook back in Siberia full of my drawings. Mostly just bits I can remember from my dreams.   When I snap out of my thoughts I look at the page. It’s full of eyes, my soldier’s face, HYDRA’s symbol, a moon with a hauntingly familiar face but I can’t remember where I’ve seen it, my chain wrapped around a hand, Chungae’s face.     “That’s beautiful,” I look up and see a girl with short blue hair leaning over me and studying the page.    “Thanks…”     “Really, you should post them,” I’m confused until I realise she’s talking about social media. Another advancement I’ve never had the opportunity to experience. I shrug and fold it up, tucking it into a pocket in my pants.     “I don’t like sharing them,”    “Understandable,” She smiles at me and then walks back over to her desk with two coffees in hand. Weird.    “Attention all SHIELD agents,” I stand up quickly. A voice over the PA rings across the room, “This is Steve Rogers,” Muttering fills the room, “You’ve heard a lot about me over the past few days. Some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it’s time you know the truth,” He pauses, “SHIELD is not what we thought it was. It’s been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader.” I notice Rumlow getting tense.   I slip out of the room and start walking down the hallways, looking for my soldier, “The STRIKE and Insight crew as well. I don’t know how many more, but I know they’re in the building. They could be standing right next to you,” Around this point I tune out and start thinking about where he might be.   Before I can make a decision, I hear feet pounding down the hallway. S.T.R.I.K.E. I slip into an office quickly until they’ve passed and their footsteps have disappeared.   Something tells me I need to find my soldier soon. The instinct is strong but I can’t think of an actual reason to believe it. I put it down to years of missions and knowing Soldat. Something’s very wrong but I don’t know what it is.   I hear the sirens go off and the building shakes. They’re sending the helicarriers up. I lock myself in a dark office and decide to wait it out.   I don’t know how long it is before explosions shake the whole building. I sit for a moment before I take flight. I sprint down hallways to reach the stairs and run all the way down to the ground floor and outside. I watch as the helicarriers crash. My soldier. I notice figures falling into the lake.   I walk around to find myself in the treeline near the bank. I wait. I see someone dragging another person out of the lake. I recognise the silver arm of my soldier. He reaches the bank and drops what I assume to be Rogers. He stands still for a moment before turning and heading in my direction. I step out into the open and we make eye contact.    “Let’s go,” He says, holding his hand out.  I take his hand and, as I always have done, follow my soldier wherever he goes. 

Part 5

[feel199x]

best friends to lovers!

summary: it’s final, you decided that you’re going to confess your love to Hyunjin after his graduation, how does it work out?

warnings: none!

a/n: another request...wrauw;;; i hope you like it :(seungmin’s will be up soon! masterlist

Your best friend was graduating today. You were graduating yourself next week, and Hyunjin promised that he would go to yours, but of course, he was busy. You had gone to the same elementary and middle school as him but parted ways when Hyunjin attended the school of performing arts to pursue his dreams. You had expected to lose touch, but being the sentimental and clingy guy he was, Hyunjin made sure to keep in touch. And by keep in touch, you mean he texted you whenever he was free for hours. It most definetly didn’t help the massive crush you had on him either. It was always a bit ambiguous, you could never decide if he actually had a crush on you or if he was just being his regular clingy self. You didn’t mind though, just because you were friends with someone didn’t mean you were always going to end up having a crush on them, you. Especially because you realized that Hyunjin had a lot more attention on him now. Well, he always had a lot of attention in general, he was attractive but a lot of people didn’t see past that. And now that he was an idol, he was incredibly wary of new relationships and confessions, so you didn’t feel like it was your place to confess your love to him.

Didn’t mean you stopped feeling that way though.

Hyunjin had been your only real, undying crush, and trust- you did everything you could to repress these feelings. Sure, you had interest in other people before, but the feeling never lingered the way it did with Hyunjin. But today was the day, well okay, not today. But in the general area of time. Normally, you would never even let your mind wander into confession territory. But, there was something about the graduation that you thought gave you a little breathing air. Hyunjin told you that he was preparing for a comeback, and apologized profusely for being unable to give you the attention he wanted to give you. In fact, he snuck out of the dorms to come do skincare with you. You hadn’t actually invited him, you mentioned it when he asked what he was doing and he ended up rushing over.

As he talked about his next comeback you just stared at him, you weren’t even necessarily thinking about he looked, but more of what he meant to you. Relationships, whatever type they were, weren’t easy to maintain. And here Hyunjin was, spreading a charcoal mask on your skin after sneaking out of his dorms to hang out with you. Not gonna lie, it made you feel special.  You hoped he didn’t notice how you looked at him intently, dreamily, maybe a little bit intensely. He was sticking his tongue out as he did his best to spread the mixture evenly across your cheeks. His touch was always gentle like you were a flower and if he pressed too hard a petal would fall. As you looked up at him, looking at the mole underneath his eye, you decided that you were in love with him. And you needed to tell him, or you were pretty sure that you were going to confess to him randomly and blurt it out awkwardly. After he finished, and the mask dried, the both of you laid on your bed, holding hands. You forgot what he had been talking about at that point as he rested his body on the side of yours.

“Do you love me?”

“Obviously,” you said, “You’re my best friend.”

“Hm,” he hummed, “How much?”

“Too much, probably.”

“I love you more, though.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s true!”

“Prove it.”

He was silent for a bit, and you thought you could feel the hold on your hand loosen for a bit before squeezing it. “Okay,” he murmured, “Soon.”

And boy, did you have no idea what that meant. And boy, were you scared. But here you were, holding a stupidly big bouquet of flowers as people flocked to take pictures of the boys. You were more than anxious, and growing more insecure by the minute. 

The graduation process was a little longer than you had anticapted, and you let your mind wander back to some memories.

There were a couple more instances before the most recent that made you flustered whenever you thought about it. Yes, Hyunjin was clingy, you were aware, but sometimes he was very clingy. 

 There was one particular time where he climbed through your window and failed to do it gracefully. Actually, it was so bad, that your parents had shouted and asked you if everything was okay. And as you tried to play it off as a textbook falling off your desk, Hyunjin was losing his mind, trying to stifle his giggles.

“Hyunjin,” you whispered, “Did you really just come over here to cuddle?”

“Yes! I’m desperate, and I miss you!”

“You have eight members to cuddle!”

He pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, toppling over you as you fell onto the bed. “Yeah,” he whined, “But they’re not you.” You could feel your breathing constrict and your chest panic at the pulling of your heartstring. You smiled kissing the top of his head and playing with his hair. “You’re such a baby, but I love you.”

“Please, you’re clingier than I am, you’re just less vocal about it. Thankfully, I am shameless.”

“Thankfully,” you murmured.

The other time was the same circumstances. Hyunjin fell into your room with a loud thud. Really, shouldn’t he be better at this by now? And being the amazing dancer he was, shouldn’t he be more graceful? At this point, your parents had to know that your textbooks couldn’t have been falling all the time. But if they knew, they hadn’t brought it up at any point in time. You were about to scold him, but as soon as you realized he was crying, you opened your arms.

“I missed you,” you whispered, playing with his hair in a way that seemed to be therapeutic to him, “I’m sure you’ve been working really hard.” You wiped away his tears, looking at him softly. “I like when you look at me like that,” he murmured, “You’re so pretty.” You felt your cheeks flare up as you focused your attention back on his hair. “Yeah, but you’re prettier, you look like a prince, plus you’re good at everything.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

He repeated after you, his face inching closer to yours, lips nearly brushing against your lips. You could smell his chapstick- it was honey. “You smell like cherries,” he murmured, and you could feel his lip finally brush against yours. You thought it was finally going to happen, and you closed your eyes but he pulled away. You swore that he had said “I want to kiss them,” under his breath but you were unsure. You sighed quietly as you continued to play with his hair, even as he was napping quietly with his arms resting around you.

That kept you out at night.

When you heard the shutter of the cameras you snapped back to reality, turning your attention back to the stage. They were stepping off, and as Hyunjin did he was met with a swarm of people wanting to take a picture with him. And there it was, that pang of jealousy and insecurity. It was a human emotion, but it still wasn’t great to feel. But more than that, you were excited to see him after a while. You watched as he pulled out his phone and typed something really quickly before slipping it back into his pocket to take more pictures. Immediately your phone buzzed from your jacket pocket.

jinnie, my love: can’t meet here :( go to our regular diner, im sorry babe

you: dont worry about it! i’ll see u there

The diner he referred to was a local family diner that you had since made your go-to place. The both of you knew the owner and managers by name, and you visited there when you were missing Hyunjin and his hugs. The manager always teased you and him, sending you knowing winks as you shot her a glare. But when you came in, sad and pretty much crying over missing Hyunjin (not one of your best moments, but the guy was your best friend), she always gave you free milkshakes and advice. She waved at you when you saw you come in, and smiled big when she saw the bouquet of flowers.

“Hyunjin finally confess?”

“What? Oh, no. I’m going to, though.”

“What? Really? Look at you go! Can I do anything to help.”

“No, please don’t. I’m begging you.”

“Nah, I’m definetly interfering. And I’ll kick your ass if you don’t end up doing it.”

You sighed, shaking your head and sitting at your usual booth. The flowers were sitting on your table, and you swung your legs anxiously. You were toying with the hem of your shirt, looking down as your fingers rubbed with the loose strings. You looked up and smiled as you saw him come in.

“Hey there,” he placed his hands on the table, making grabby motions until you filled in the empty space in his hand, “It’s been a while.”

“It has,” you said quietly, “ah, I got you flowers.”

“We’ll get to that,” he hummed, “I missed holding your hands.”

“We should probably order,” you said quickly, “Jina!”

The manager sauntered over, clearly already having been listening to the conversation and waiting for her cue to enter. “What can I get you two lovebirds?”

You glared at her, “We’re not-”

“The usual, Jina, and can we get strawberry milkshakes?” Hyunjin turned to you, “That’s your favorite, right?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“Why would I forget? I love you.”

Jina laughed, and you narrowed your eyes at her. “Alright, I better get going.” Hyunjin rocked with your hands, playing with them as you waited. He was talking about how excited he was to feel like an adult and completely devote himself to his group. You looked at him, head tilted, and if heart eyes were a thing, you’d have them.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, Jinnie,” he tightened his hold on your hand as he turned his attention to you. You could feel regret telling you to retreat, but you pressed on, “But are you busy tomorrow?”

“Yeah, actually, I’m sorry. Do you have something in mind?”

Jina came in, and like she had promised, a messy heart shaped burger was plated in front of both of you. And instead of two milkshakes, she brought one with two straws. “Enjoy, young lovers.” You bit your lip, glancing over at Hyunjin.

“Right,” Hyunjin said again, “What were you saying?”

“I wouldn’t usually, or at all- uh,” you sighed, opting to keep it simple, “I didn’t plan on doing this, right now, ‘cause I don’t want to ruin your day.”

“Do you not want to be friends anymore? I’m sorry about not being able to spend time with you anymore.”

“No! No. Ah, I’m in love with you. Like a lot.”

There was a moment of silence between you and you looked down, feeling a wave of embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your day, I can leave-”

“I’m in love with you, too. For too long, probably. Can I kiss you?”

“Yes!” Jina yelled, “Ronald, it’s happening! Ronald! We’ve done it!”

“Ignore them,” Hyunjin smiled, a blush tinting his cheeks, “Can I?”

“Mm,” you hummed, “Yes, please.”

He smiled as he looked at you, peppering kisses around your face before planting a kiss on your lips. You should’ve been embarrassed and worried about kissing in a public place like this, but Hyunjin didn’t seem to care. “You taste like cherries,” he murmured, “I’m gonna kiss you all the time.”

“That’s okay.”

“I mean it, I’m going to kiss you whenever I can. Like, all the time, like all the time-”

“Jinnie,” you kissed him, “Congrats on your graduation by the way.”

[tenaciousarcadeexpert]

Criminal Minds- The Good Ol’ Days

Tagging: @marvelfanlife, @itsmeedee, @cynbx, @jaqren, @gabriellewritermua, @princesswagger15, @screaminginbi, @tleighstone12, @cosmicmelaninflower

A collaboration fic with @princesswagger15.

After a long hiatus, the wait is over. Here is the new chapter

Chapter 8-Whodunnit?

The next morning has been quiet apart from the sounds of birds chirping. Normally there would be the sounds of students marching to their classes outside the dorms though surprisingly, there was not a single peep from outside. Emily and Elle woke up to the sounds of their phones buzzing.

“Did you just get a message too?”

“I-I did and it’s from…...Marissa?”

“Isn’t that Reid girlfriend?”

“Y-yea, wait why would she text us?”

“I don’t maybe she’s in trouble? Let me check the message.”

“Meet at Joe’s Burger Shack at 6:30 pm at the booth in the very back. Me and Reid got somethings to talk about with everyone.”

The two ladies looked at each other. “Her and Reid? And what makes her want to talk to us?”

“I don’t know how to feel about this.”

“Oh christ……………...you don't think he….?”

“I’m not sure…..I’m more concerned on what Marissa has to say.” “You think we can trust her?”

“I mean, I’m not really sure but she has help us and Reid out a few times, Like at Meadow’s party.”

“Yeah, maybe we should just hear her out before we make any rash decisions.” Elle nodded. “

“I wonder if everyone got the message yet?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, maybe maybe not.”

“Uggghhh, well i guueess ill get ready for the day. See ya!”

  A few minutes later, both Emily and Elle head to the meeting place, where they are suddenly joined by the rest of their circle of friends that are waiting for Reid and Marissa.

“I see you guys all got the message.” Emily quipped.

“Hey guys! Nice to see you, took you long enough.” Derek said.

“So……..what do you think Marissa has to share?” Ashley asked.

“That’s why we’re here to find out.”

The group gathered around at the booth, still awaiting Reid and Marissa’s arrival.

“I don’t about this.” Tara complained. “What if this is a trap?” “She’s right…...I mean she could just be using us here and rat us out to Barnes.” Luke adds.

“I’m sure Marissa wouldn’t do such a thing, she saved Reid and Matt’s girlfriend.” JJ responds.

“She could just be doing that to gain our trust.” Just then, Elle slaps Derek’s arm. “Look, I get that this unexpected message from Reid’s girlfriend is jarring but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t playing us when Kristy and Reid were in trouble.”

“Relax Greenaway, were just being a little wary considering that Marissa decided to bring us here for whatever reason and she’s not here yet.”

While the group is waiting, Matt looks over to Hotch, who has a cold expression on his face.

“You okay Hotch? You seemed quiet lately.”

“I-I’m alright.” “You sure? Cause your arm is shaking. Seems like you got something in mind.” He lowered his arm. “I-I made it clear that no one outside this group should know anything about this, and now one of us decides to tell them what’s going on just because she’s their girlfriend? Does Reid even know the consequences this might lead us to?”

“Look guys, im sure Reid and Marissa have nothing but good intentions, they wouldn’t betray us.” Ashley says.

“And how do you know, Seaver? We don’t know her personally like Reid does.”

“I know that if we trust Reid, and he trusts Marissa, we have nothing to worry about.”

Just then, the group looks to see Reid arrive, taking small steps as he approach his friends. “Hey guys, so I know I have some ex-

“What the hell is going on Reid?! We told you don’t tell anyone!” Hotch yells.

“I-I’m sorry Hotch, I know what I did was wrong, and I should have listened to you-”

“Well I don’t think you should be yelling at Reid but if you want me to leave then fine.”

The gang all looked up to see Marissa arrived not long after Reid. “Well do you guys want me to leave?”

They all looked at Hotch, whom he rubs his face and sighs. “Alright, let’s hear what you have to say.”

“Thank you. Well the day y'all saw your teacher’s class destroyed, i noticed Reid acting a bit weird so i asked what was wrong. Eventually i got him to tell me what's been happening and we started coming up with theories. We were thinking, this is a team.”

“Interesting……..so you’re saying that we’re dealing with two unsubs, is that right?”

“No, not two, more than that. I’d say somewhere between 7, maybe even 8.”

“Eight? I think you’re exaggerating a little bit.” Emily suggested.

“Oh really? On a scale of 1 to HOLY FUCKING SHIT, how bad was the classroom when yall walked in?”

“11, if that clears things up.”

“So if it was that bad, you think only one person could do that? It had to be at least 2 or 3 people.”

“You don’t need to tell us who it was, Garcia and I know who trashed the classroom.”

“Who?”

“It’s Kyle, Kyle Hodges.” Garcia blurts out.

“That son of a bitch! I told him if i EVER heard of him doing some fuck fucky shit, i’d fucking end him!”

“I’ve should’ve known when I chased him, that he was the one who wrecked that place.” Reid responds.

“But why would Kyle do this? What does he have to gain from it?” JJ asked.

“Someone probably promised him some type of reward.”

Hodges...that bastard….” Matt growled. “This crosses the fucking line to think that he has the nerve to pull some stunt like that.”

“But even if we confront him, how to we get proof? The guy is too cocky to tell the truth.” “Ashley’s right.” Hotch said. “He’ll just lie his way out.”

“Garcia, I hear that you’re hella good on a computer, you think you can somehow get into the school’s camera system? Maybe we can catch them in the act on camera.” Marissa suggests.

“Better…..I recorded his phone conversation and call history.”

“Damn girl, nice!”

“Cool, now all we need to do is find Kyle. We just need to know where he is. Any ideas?”

“I mean after the party I saw him and his buddies in the quad by the huge oak tree.” Elle suggested. “And he’s usually at the weight room to improve on his biceps and legs.” Derek adds.

“Let's go back to campus and search the gym first. We stay together, we don’t need to be splitting up at this time.” Marissa says standing up.

“You just got here for like six minutes and yet you’re already acting as if you’re the leader of us.” Tara scoffs.

“Sorry but what can i say, im very dominate. And i like to work fast and i'm assuming that if your teacher is still missing, we have to move quickly. Now if you all want to sit there like bumps on logs while we have a lead, then by all means do it. Look, i know you guys dont like me, you don’t trust me, but im in this with yall. For the good and the bad, now let's go!” The gang all looked at each other with confusion as they turn to Reid.

“You sure we can trust her?” JJ asked.

“Of course we can. I know her, if she really wanted to rat us out, she would’ve done it awhile ago. But I promise to remain cautious at ease.” The two nodded as they and the rest of the group follow Marissa back to the campus.

Just as the group and Marissa return to the campus, they see a group of students running towards the exits, Tara grabs one of the students and asks, “Hey, what’s going on? Why are you guys running?”

“Some incident happened at the bridge near the forest. I don’t know what it was but it ain’t pretty.”

“Should we check it out?” Asks Derek.

“Let’s follow them.” Emily responds as they follow the wave of people running towards the exits. By the time they reach the entrance of the woods, it was heavily crowded with people, prompting the team to squeeze through and bump any bystanders to see what was on the other side. As Matt pushed through the last of the crowd, he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Holy fucking hell.” He mummers.

“What is it Matt-oh shit.” Kate responds. The rest of the group emerge from the crowd and look down in shock and distraught as they see Kyle lying in the dirt naked with stab wounds in his stomach and chest.

“So much for finding him.” Emily groaned.

“Okay well we can only assume that either someone from his team did this to his or this is his way of suicide but i'll go with the first option.” Marissa said crossing her arms.

“Look, I know Kyle is an asshole and all but why would someone do such a cruel act to him?” Garcia complained.

“Because he knew too much.” Hotch replies.

“Is there any way you can maybe check in the office if he was there earlier today, or maybe around the campus with someone else the night you and Luke talked to him?” Marissa asked.

Garcia shook her head.

Just then, Barnes and Strauss emerge from the crowds as they witness the sight of Kyle’s corpse. Barnes gestures at the police as they surround the area.

“Alright students, show’s over. Go back to your dorms and classes.” The people in the crowd groan as several policemen guide them away from the scene. As they walk away, there were multiple instances of whispers and gossip on how Kyle died, what happened and who could it have done it.

The gang then gathered at the quad to try and gather all their thoughts. With Kyle gone, there’s was only more questions than answers.

“So…….what now?”

“Well Derek, with Kyle gone, we just lost our chance to ask him some important questions.”

“We lost the person, not the answer.” Marissa states.

“What do you mean, Marissa?” Ashley asked.

“Well i mean, if we go back to the night of Rossi’s class being trashed on the cctv’s system, we can possibly see the person walk in the class and if we catch his face we can probably run it through the students and staff’s pictures.”

“.................and how do you know all this?” JJ asked.

“Just using the environment to my advantage, and it would make the most sense to actually check all our resources?”

“I still can’t believe you just joined us today and somehow you know more about this than we do.” Elle thought. “Yeah, even moreso than Reid.” Luke adds.

“Hey!”

“Well how can you not learn some stuff from crime shows and this handsome bookworm?” Marissa said as she kissed Reid’s cheek.

“Ehehehehehehe.” “Anyway……..so Marissa, you were saying?” Hotch interupts her. “If what you were saying is true about the cctv, how can we get access to the footage?”

“Well if Garcia, aka this beautiful ball of sunshine, says she’s as good with computers as you say she she is, it should be a piece of cake for her to get in.”

“Awww.” She blushed. “She called me beautiful……………...and yes, I can get access into the cctv footage.”

“So Garcia, are you sure you want to do this?” Elle asked.

“Chillax hun, this isn’t my first rodeo. I got this.” She cracked her knuckles as she pulls out her laptop from her bag.

“Well this may take a while so i'm gonna go get something to e-”

“What is it Garcia?” Hotch asks.

“I’m in.” Hotch and the rest of the group gather around her as she looks up cctv footage from last night.

“Damn, that was hella fast! Nice job babe!” Marissa says hugging Garcia.

They all watch as Garcia rewinds the footage.

“Try going back to the night of Rossi’s room being trashed.” “Got it.” Just as she rewinds the footage, they took notice of an unknown stranger walking into Rossi’s classroom.

“Wait wait wait wait…” Emily stopped. “You mind zooming that in?”

“Sure thing my fine furry friend.” She zooms in on the footage, showing a stranger in a black hoodie and loose clothing.

“There’s no way that person could be Kyle.”

“Yeah, this person is way bigger than Fuckboi- i mean Kyle.” Marissa says.

“Who is this guy? I’ve never seen him before.”

“Maybe he could be a professor or a custodian?” Kate shrugged her shoulders.

“Better to be safe than sorry, does his face ever show to the camera Garcia?” Reid asks.

“Well, it’s hard to see from the lack of lighting in the classroom.”

“Try seeing if he looks up slightly and try to screenshot then brighten the image.” Tara joins in.

“Okay.” Garcia then zooms in, brightening and clearing the image up. “How’s that?”

“Try a liiittle more?”

“Uh………..okay.” She continues to clear the image up. “Sorry, that’s as far as I can go.”

“It’s fine sweetcheeks. Try to run the image through the campus student and staff database.” Derek says.

“Okay, though this may take a while……..”

“That’s fine, just do it.” Hotch says.

She then goes through the student and staff database, only to stop. “Or perhaps not.” “So?” She turns to the gang. “..................No match.”

“Damn, well there goes that damn theory.” Marissa says disappointed.

Garcia closes her laptop. “So……………..what now?”

“Well is there anyone else acting strange around campus or anywhere you guys can remember?”

They all looked at each other, shaking their heads.

“Acting cruel to others or you? Anything guys?”

“No.” They all shook their heads.

“Well, then we’re all screwed.”                        ----------------------------------------------------------------------

  Elsewhere, Rossi was in his cabin when he heard someone knocking at his door. He then walked up to see three familiar strangers outside. “Nice to see you again David.”

“Phillip, Mark, Kiera. You don’t know how glad I am to see you guys again.”

“Well, we’re always here to help.” Rossi took a step back, allowing the three agents to enter his cabin before closing the door behind them. “Though I wish this was under better circumstances.”

They all sat in the dining room.

“Can I get you guys something?” “Uh no thanks, we’re good.” “Okay.” He sat down. “First…..any leads on Gideon’s case?” “Sadly nothing yet, but we’re still looking.” Kiera responds.

“Oh okay, just let me know if there’s any update.” He rubs his palms. “I just don’t get how this could all happen. Besides, there’s no way his death could be ruled as a suicide. Something seems a bit off here.” The three agents were silent as they stare at their old friend.

“What? Was is it?” “When was the last time you kept in touch with your students back in Quantico University?”

“I-I don’t know. Maybe around a week.”

“Oh……..” “What is it Phil?” “W-well, let’s just say that it was no coincidence that we were brought here not long after you called us.”

“What? What do you mean?”

Kiera took a deep breath. “T-there was an incident up by the woodlands near the campus. A student has been murdered.”

“Oh my god, don’t tell me it was one of my kids! I can’t handle that again!”

“It was this student.” Mark pulls out a photo of a teen and another showing his corpse, sliding them towards Rossi. “Kyle Hodges, the M.E identified his body, police reported that he was found by two girls who where just hiking when they came across his body. Do you recognize him?”

Rossi compared and analyze the two photos before placing them down.

“No i don't know him. But did anyone find anything else? Are my students okay?!”

“Your students are okay. So far, Hodges is the only confirmed death. Our biggest concern is finding who killed him.”

“Any leads?” They shook their heads. “No, but we did find a connection between Gideon and Kyle’s death.” “And what’s that?” Philip then hands him autopsies and photos of Gideon and Kyle, comparing the two different photos.

“We were surprised to not notice it until now but if you look closely, both were found with a small symbol carved on their stomachs.”

Rossi eyes’ widen as he recognized the carvings found on the photos.

“Dave, you recognized them?” “I’ve seen this before.”

“Where? On a previous case or something?”

“Yeah…...it was a case I worked on a few years ago, where I caught…….The Replicator.”

“Woah woah woah! You mean THE Replicator?”

“Yes….unfortunately.”

“Oh god, this is worst than we all thought!”

Rossi then slammed his fist on the table. “M-my students, I need to warn them. If this is what I think it is, then we could be looking back at a repeat of the massacre of 90-Oh god.”

“Hey, don’t think like that, we won’t let anything like that happen ever again.”

“I know I know. It’s just……...my journal, everything I know about what happened is in that journal. If it gets into the wrong hands……”

“I know Rossi, we know. We are all trying our best, so don’t beat yourself up over it. Everything will be fine.”

“Let’s hope so, cause things are getting worse than ever.”

Just then, they heard the sound of the phone ringing. Curious, Rossi then got up from his seat and grabs the phone, pressing the button.

“Hello?”

“Hey Rossi! Um, uhhh it’s Emily. I was wondering if you could meet us in the quad back at campus, we have a few things to catch you up on.”

 “Uh sure uh…...how did you get my number?”

“Ummmmmm………………. That’s not important, we just need you in the quad.”

“Yea, sure, I’ll be there soon.” He then hangs up as he looks at his friends.

“What’s going on Rossi? What happened, is something wrong?”

“Umm yeah, one of my students just called and said they needed to meet them at the campus.”

“Why would they ask to meet with you all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know, maybe they found out something? Maybe a lead?”

“You think your students can be trusted? We don’t know if this could lead to a repeat of ‘90.”

“Look, you said it yourself, everything will be fine right? And don’t worry, i know these children can handle it. Plus they got me, and we have you guys to help us.”

The three agents glanced at each other before shifting their focus back to Rossi. “Of course, we’ll do whatever we can to help, even if it means crossing bureaucratic lines.”

“I understand.” He then grabs his jacket. “Thank you, though.” He grabs his keys and phone before heading out.

“Think he’ll be alright?” Mark asks Philip, who gives him a reassuring look.

“It’s Rossi, he knows what he’s doing.”

                              -------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes later while Rossi is walking through the grass covered quad, he sees his team conversing among themselves. Most likely trying to come up with some theories. Once he’s walks a little closer, his heart drops as he sees an unfamiliar face talking with them as well.

Garcia looks up to see Rossi standing in the distance, smiling with glee. “Rossi!” The team looked back to see their professor, charging towards them, and embracing him.

“Oh professor, it’s so good to see you again, we’ve missed you so much. So much has happened since you left.”

“I know.” He said as he hugs his students one by one, making his way towards the table.

“Uhhhhh……………… Garcia, who the fuck is that at the table with the group? Please tell me she’s only a friend, please tell you guys didn’t tell her ANYTHING?”

“Uh yeah, about that……..” Marissa stood up and holds out her hand. “Hi, I’m Marissa, Reid’s girlfriend.”

“Hi, I’m David Rossi.” The two shake hands as he looks over to Reid.

“Would you mind leaving for a bit? I’m here to have a conversation with my students privately.”

Marissa glares at him. “Uh, I’m sorry, but why should I?”

“Because this conversation doesn’t involve you, so please leave.”

She chuckled amusingly. “No offense professor, but I’m pretty sure it does involve me.”

“Oh really? Why does it?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Because I know everything, about your classroom, about what’s been going on, Gideon’s death, everything. And i am sorry for your loss by the way, he way a good man, at least from what i hear.”

“Really? Who told you?”

Marissa then looks at the team who’s standing behind her. As they all look at both her and Rossi eyes widen , they all point to Reid who’s standing in back.

“Reid……”

“Y-y-yes Pro-Professor?” He nervously asked as Rossi walks up to him.

“Didn’t I make it clear that no one outside out group knows about the situation?”

“Yeeeessss………………. I'm so sorry sir but I really trust her. She’s a good person okay, I know she is!”

“I know I know. I’m not saying that she is a bad person, my concern is that she might not understand what we’re going through and she might end up notifying Barnes or the authorities without our consent.”

“Professor, i know what your concerns are, and if this is as bad as you guys are saying that it is, i will not tell ANYONE what’s going on, i won’t do anything drastic like that without you guys’ consent. I swear it on my very soul sir, i won’t do it. Just let me help you all out.”

Rossi considers her offer to him and his students, he thinks about saying yes, but not without analyzing her behavior. She’s not bouncing or fidgeting, nothing that indicates that she lying about anything. She just looks hopeful, hoping that he says yes to her.

“Okay, I trust you.”

“Yay!” She gleefully cheers as she jumps up and down she says, “I won’t guys down!I won't let you down i swear!”

“I know you won’t………….which is why Emily and Tara will keep a close eye on you.”

“Of course! Of course, i totally understand!”

“Good, anyway………..what did you guys bring me here for?”

“Oh right! Something happened to your classroom while you were gone.” JJ said while looking at Rossi with sadness.

“What do you mean?” “I uh, think it’s best if we show you.”

As the students all gather their things, and start walking towards his classroom, Rossi starts to get more and more worried with each step he took. What happened to his class? Why would someone do this? Why would anyone want to do this to him? As they get closer to the room, a thought crossed his mind. ‘I hope no one found my journal…’

Ashley suddenly she slightly pulls on Rossi’s sleeve and he looks at her when she says, “Rossi, it’s not pretty in there, so what you’re about to see will be pretty shocking.”

“I’ve seen worse, I’m sure this won’t be the worst thing I’ve seen in these past few years.” He took a deep breath and opened the doors.

As Rossi sees what’s happened to his room, he feels so many emotions brewing inside him. Sadness, shock, anger, disgust, and worry. For himself and his students. As he looks at his desk flipped on it’s side and papers and desk lying around everywhere, he sees just how personal this attack is. He knows now that whoever this is has got it out for him in the worst way. As the tears swell up in his eyes, he feels his students gather closer to him and touch his arm trying to comfort him.

“Are you okay professor?”

“Y-yeah, i-i just………….. Who would do this? And why? What did i ever do?”

“That’s what we’re here to find out.” Hotch then pats his professor on the back. “Don’t worry professor, we’ll help you find whoever is going after you. We’ll do whatever we can to stop them from hurting anyone else, and we promise to help rebuild your classroom..”

“Thank you guys, you are all extraordinary students, and i'll be here from now on to help you catch these sons of bitches.”

The rest of the team all nodded as they gather around their professor into a big hug. Little did they notice a tall stranger observing them behind the window outside.

                -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Elsewhere, Barnes and Strauss were at the Dean’s office, pondering over what to do with multiple incidents happening at the college.

“Man, these last few months have been a handful, I mean, the campus has been going nuts lately.”

“What are we gonna do?” Barnes complained. “We thought that we got this under control but apparently, things just get worse and worse.”

“Yeah i know, I mean between Hodges’s death, Rossi’s classroom being destroyed and everything else, what’s gonna happen to the college? What if they shut us down?”

Barnes slams her hands on Strauss’s desk. “They won’t….W-we just need to find a way to resolve this matter.”

“But how Barnes? We have no clues on who could’ve done this? We don’t have suspects! What are we gonna do!?”

“W-we’ll figure it out….I-I just need to think of some way to get some information out of some students. Maybe we can find something in Rossi’s classroom or anywhere in the campus?”

Strauss tilt her head. “You don’t think he had anything to do with this, do you?”

“I mean probably not but better safe than sorry right?” She felt Strauss touch her hand. “Linda, look, I get it. I am as desperate as you are in trying to protect  the students and staff on this campus, but we can’t be too rash on this. Otherwise, more people will get hurt.”

“Yeah, I get it, I understand. I’m sorry, i guess i get a bit carried away sometimes.”

“We all do……..” She paused. “How about you get some rest, we got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Alright, same to you, go take a rest.”

She then grabs her bag and coat before closing the door behind her.

                           ----------------------------------------------------

Near the forest, Meadows was standing next a tree waiting for someone. As she wanders around by the trees, she was startled by the sounds of footsteps approaching her.

“Who’s there?” She shouts. Just then, she sees a person in a red hoodie approaching her, prompting her to sigh in relief.

“Oh, it’s you.” She sighs. “For a second, I thought you were someone else.”

“Why would i be someone else? You and me are the only ones that are supposed to meet…. Right?”

“That is correct.” “Did you make sure that there was no one following you?”

“I made sure of it.”

“Cool, so, show me what you got.”

The person opens her backpack, pulling out a small journal and handing it to Meadows.

“Nice, I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d be able to pull off.”

“Oh Mary, you’d be surprise to know what I’m capable of. Besides, I couldn’t have done it without the help from you.”

“Yeah sure, well we should start looking through this.”

“Yeah we should.” The two go through the journal, smiling at some of the pages. “Your friends don’t know about this, do they?”

“Like hell they do."

“Good, that's the last thing we need right now.”

[sunchosens]

not expected pt. 2

pairing: andreil word count: 3k-ish rating: explicit read on ao3 first part here bonus: happy birthday part two for my wife lyra @flitwick

“You slept with him,” Dan says, voice suspiciously calm. Neil shifts in his seat and thinks maybe this wasn’t his smartest idea. “In the locker room.” There’s definitely a flush starting to crawl up his cheeks and Neil knows for sure this wasn’t his best idea. “While the rest of us were in the building.” Her voice has grown in pitch, and peeking at her from under his eyelashes, Neil can tell she’s moments away from leaping over the table to throttle him.

“Technically,” Neil says, once he’s retained his resolve, “we only fooled around in the locker room. There was no sleeping.” Dan seems to become even angrier, a feat Neil didn’t think was possible. “Or insertion,” he adds, as an afterthought, but that doesn’t seem to calm her.

Dan slams her hand on the table. They’re sitting in a reasonably crowded restaurant and more than a few heads turn their way at the sound. Neil feels incredibly flustered and isn’t sure what to say to manage this situation. “In what world,” she begins, her voice dangerously low, “did you think it would be a good idea to hook up with the most volatile person on the team. Are you fucking stupid, Neil?”

Neil frowns. “He’s not going to hurt me, if that’s what you’re saying.”

Dan throws her hands in the air at that and begins to laugh. Neil’s frown deepens. He knew Andrew wasn’t very well-liked on the team, but he hadn’t expected this reaction from Dan. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth Andrew for thirty minutes, Dan,” Neil says, offended. “I told you as a friend and also as a professional courtesy, seeing as you’re team captain. That doesn’t mean you have the right to judge who I may or may not be starting a thing with.”

She just looks at him, eyes wary. “Does Andrew know you’re here?” Neil gives a short nod. Yes, Andrew did know Neil planned to tell Dan. In fact, he warned Neil of this very reaction and Neil’s sure he’s more than prepared to gloat when he finds out how horribly it went.

“Be careful,” she sighs, finally, and picks up her menu. “Just be careful.” Glad the conversation is over, Neil buries his face in his menu, still riding the anger from before. His phone buzzes in his lap and he glances down to check it, only to see that Andrew’s texted him.

kevin wants me 2 take him 2 the court im coming 2 u

Neil half-smiles, texting back Can’t, I’m at lunch with Dan

i know

They’re halfway through lunch when Andrew drops into the chair next to Neil. His hair is disheveled and his cheeks are pink and Neil thinks he’s never seen anything quite as beautiful. Andrew catches him staring and raises an eyebrow, saying nothing, and Neil turns away feeling slightly flustered. Dan catches his eye and gives him a knowing look and Neil decides the best mode of response is to just stare at his food.

“What are you doing here, Minyard?” Dan asks, cooly. “I don’t remember inviting you anywhere.” Andrew shrugs, unbothered, his leg pressing hotly against Neil’s under the table.

“Avoiding Kevin.” He says shortly, deftly snatching Neil’s fork out of his hand and proceeding to take a bite of pasta off his plate. Neil debates the merits of kicking him under the table, but decides against it. “Plus, Neil practically begged me to,” he continues, bland as ever.

Neil chooses that moment to step on Andrew’s foot as hard as he can without Dan noticing. He’s not sure he’s succeeded, judging on the look of dawning horror and confusion.

As Neil and Andrew walk out of the restaurant together, Neil shakes his head. “That was mean,” he says, not exactly reproachful. After what Dan said about Andrew, he thinks she deserves a small shock. Andrew doesn’t say anything but he grabs Neil’s arm and pulls him against a brick wall of an alley they were passing by.

“Funnily enough,” Andrew says dryly. “I don’t care.” His lips brush Neil’s neck and Neil arches his back slightly, trying to push into Andrew’s hold on him. Andrew puts a hand on Neil’s hip, his hold tight enough to bruise, the way Neil likes it.

He’s not ashamed to admit he whines, low in his throat. “Andrew,” he murmurs. Andrew looks at him with dark eyes, pupils blown wide with lust. He presses Neil harder into the wall and kisses him, tongue hot and insistent.

“Say it again,” he hisses, moving even closer to Neil than he thought was physically possible.

He kisses Neil’s neck again, stopping in a place high enough to be clearly visible to suck a dark mark into the skin. “Andrew,” his voice stutters, but it seems to incense Andrew, because he’s reaching back up to kiss Neil hot and heady.

Of course, because Wilds’ is a fucking snitch, Boyd’s the second one to find out. Andrew thinks maybe he should have threatened her with bodily harm so she would keep her mouth closed, but in the long run he knows they’re going to find out anyway. He just hates Wilds’ eyes following him around the court, like she’s waiting for him to make a wrong move so she can justify to Neil why he should end things with Andrew.

Andrew never thought Boyd was particularly smart and his opinion isn’t challenged much when Boyd comes to confront him in the locker room. “Minyard,” he says, one hand on the locker next to Andrew’s, while he’s got his shirt tangled around his head. “We need to talk.”

Because Boyd’s a fucking pussy and Andrew isn’t, the physical barrier provides no resistance for him. Once Andrew’s wrestled his shirt to where it belongs, he gives Matt a long once-over. “Leave a message,” he suggests, and elbows him in the stomach. Andrew sidles around him and is out of the locker room before Boyd can catch his breath.

The next time he tries to corner Andrew, he’s slightly smarter about it, but not by much. Smarter in that he comes to Neil’s apartment when he knows Andrew’s there so Andrew can’t do anything violent, like stab him, but also he’s trapped himself in a room with Andrew and Neil together.

Boyd comes in without knocking. “What the fuck,” he yelps, hands flying up to cover his eyes. Andrew rolls off Neil, from where he was caging him onto the ground, one hand up his shirt and the other tangled off his hair. He smooths his shirt flat and turns an unimpressed look onto Matt.

“What the fuck, Matt,” Neil groans, pushing himself up into a sitting position. “What do you want?” Andrew already told Neil about their locker room encounter, and so he can tell Neil’s more annoyed at being interrupted than anything else.

Matt splutters, his face turning red. “Oh god,” he says, hand still over his eyes. “Are you two decent?”

“I think you could still catch a glimpse of Neil’s boner if you looked hard enough,” Andrew says, off-hand. Matt yelps and turns around completely, dropping his hand in the process.

Neil gives Andrew a nasty glare and Andrew just smiles lazily at him. He likes riling Neil up in front of his friends, likes the way his cheeks flush pink and his eyes get all shifty. “Way too much info, Minyard,” Matt groans. “Listen, Dan told me what you guys were up to.”

Rolling his eyes, Neil gets to his feet, ignoring the way Andrew tries to grab at him to stay on the floor, much to Andrew’s displeasure. “What we were up to?” Neil asks rhetorically. “What are we, in middle school?”

“I just wanted to make sure, you know, everything was cool. Or whatever.” Boyd is still staring at the wall so Andrew can’t see his face but the tops of his ears are still red. Neil grabs his shoulder and physically turns him around.

“Why wouldn’t everything be cool?” Neil asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

Andrew decides he’s missing out on all the fun. “He means because we’re fucking.” Matt shifts uncomfortably. “Doesn’t he?”

“Well. Yes.” Matt is looking everywhere other than Andrew. “Dan may have mentioned something to that point. And well...” He’s looking at Neil now, sickeningly earnest. “You and Minyard aren’t exactly on the best of terms so I just wanted to make sure everything was... cool. Or whatever,” he finishes lamely.

Andrew’s having a hard time keeping an impassive face. Just what, exactly, do Neil’s friends think he’s going to do to him. Neil seem to be equally displeased, judging by the stony look on his face. “Do you really think Andrew is doing anything I don’t want him to do?”

“Well...” Matt looks at Andrew for the first time, looking a little guilty. Andrew gives him a wave, blank faced, and Matt pales some. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Neil places a hand on Matt’s shoulder and gently but firmly pushes him towards the door. “Thank you for the concern. Good-bye. Say hi to Dan from me, won’t you?” He slams the door in Matt’s shell shocked face. He slumps against the door, hair still disheveled from where Andrew ran his hands through it and turns to look at Andrew.

“Unbelievable,” he says, dully. “They’re unbelievable. What’s next? Going to Wymack? Going to,” he gives a full-body shudder, “Kevin?”

Andrew pats the ground next to him. “Come back here, Josten.” Neil drags himself away from the door and drops down next to Andrew. “Does what they say have any effect on whether you want to be here or not?”

Neil shakes his head mutely.

“Then it doesn’t matter. Yes or no?” Neil blinks at him, owl-like.

“Yes.” He’s reaching for Andrew at the same time Andrew moves to reposition himself back into their position before Matt had interrupted them. Andrew kisses him, slow and hot, taking his time. He’s pretty sure Neil locked the door and Kevin never takes his keys.

“Do you fucking mind?” Kevin’s voice cuts through the room, full of scorn. Neil can feel a whole body flush come on at the sound, for good reason. He and Andrew are tangled up on the sofa and Andrew’s got one hand down Neil’s pants, around his dick and the other tangled in his hair while he sucks bruises onto Neil’s neck.

Neil is in a similarly compromising position, one of his hands on the back of Andrew’s neck holding his head where he wants it, and the other gripping Andrew’s ass under his sweatpants. Andrew’s head whips around and he bares his teeth at Kevin in a mockery of a smile. “Do you fucking mind? We’re a little busy here.”

“Andrew,” Neil groans, pushing at his chest. Andrew pushes himself up so Neil can arrange himself in a sitting position, and drops down next to him after.

Kevin looks outraged. He’s got an Exy bag slung over his shoulder and his hair is dark with sweat. “This is what you two were doing when you said you couldn’t make it to extra practice tonight?” Neil tries to look abashed but he thinks he’s failing miserably. He glances at Andrew who has an incredibly bored look on his face.

“What can I say?” Andrew’s voice is bland. “Neil’s just a little minx. Can’t keep his hands off me.” Kevin’s glare narrows in on Neil, like shards of glass.

Neil holds his hands up in reproach. “You know I love Exy, Kevin,” he says, still feeling flushed and a little aroused. Andrew rolls his head to look at Neil, a lazy smile touching his mouth. His eyes are still dark and molten and Neil’s dick twitches with interest.

“God,” Kevin spits. “Stop eye-fucking each other in front of me. Have some goddamn decency.”

“Sorry,” Neil says distractedly, eyes focused on the way Andrew’s tongue wets his lips. He catches gazes with Andrew again, and there’s a knowing glint in Andrew’s eyes. Kevin scoffs, not managing to rip Neil’s attention away from Andrew.

“I’m going to Nicky’s. I’ll be back in an hour, you two better be done fucking by then.” Kevin scoffs, storming out. He slams the door behind him. “Fucking disgusting,” Neil thinks he hears Kevin mutter.

The moment the door locks behind him, Andrew is shifting on the sofa, hands going to Neil’s hips as he works to pull his sweatpants off. “Some people,” he murmurs, mouth tantalizingly close to Neil’s dick, “have no tact.”

Neil becomes too busy to formulate a response, his hips straining up against Andrew’s hold as Andrew sinks his mouth onto Neil’s dick, rough and hot and all-consuming.

The fourth time it happens, even Andrew has to admit, it looks pretty bad. He’s got a bottle of lube in hand, neither of them are wearing pants and they’re both shirtless. Neil’s wearing just his boxers which do little to conceal his erection and his hair is ruffled in a “just been fucked” kind of way, while Andrew is sure he’s not much better.

They are also both in the locker room.

“Oh, god,” Nicky squeaks, bumping into a locker door and slamming it shut. “Am I interrupting?” Andrew sees Neil’s eyes close in defeat.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Neil starts, and Andrew feels a flicker of dry amusement. Surely, he doesn’t think that’s actually going to work.

Nicky actually laughs, before he remembers what he’s walked in on. “You can’t think I’m going to believe you? Me, the only other gay member of this team?” His voice is incredulous. “Neil.”

Neil’s head thuds back against the lockers. He pales suddenly, drawing Andrew’s attention. “Dan’s gonna kill me,” he moans. “Technically, we had never slept together in the locker room.”

“Technically,” Andrew feels the need to point out, “we still haven’t.” He looks at Nicky pointedly, feeling distinctly disgruntled. Ever since the first time he and Neil had hooked up, at the start of their relationship, whatever this was, taking things all the way with Neil in the locker room had been a very frequent fantasy of his.

“Dan knows?” Nicky asks. “Before me? Neil, how could you?”

“Who doesn’t know at this point?” Neil asks rhetorically, still sounding upset.

Nicky gives a little choked sort of laugh, cough-like, drawing both of their attention. “Well, the whole team knows now,” he says, laughing again, his hand coming up and showing them his phone screen where he’s sent a message in the group chat along with a very... detailed meme.

“I’m going to fucking kill you, Nicky,” Neil says, throwing himself towards Nicky, rather unsuccessfully seeing as Andrew is in his path. Nicky just laughs, looking back down at his phone. Andrew pets Neil’s hair in a condescending manner, slightly turned on by his failed act of aggression. He honestly couldn’t care less who knew, it would just give him and Neil more leeway with the team.

“Better get dressed, lovebirds,” Nicky says. “Dan’s called a team meeting in the lounge in 15.”

He leaves the locker room, still laughing, and Neil immediately turns on Andrew. “This is all your fault,” he says, the tips of his ears red. “You were the one who wanted to fuck in the locker room!”

Andrew just shrugs, reaching around Neil to grab his shirt from where he’d tossed it into the locker. “I didn’t know Nicky was going to walk in.” Neil just frowns, watching with hooded eyes as Andrew pulls his pants up. “Are you upset people know?”

Neil rolls his eyes, turning around to get his own clothes out of the locker. “Don’t be stupid.” They make their way out of the locker room and join Kevin on the sofa. Dan’s sitting on Matt’s lap in one of the armchairs and Nicky and Aaron are already sitting in the two chairs on either side of the sofa. Allison is laying on her back on the carpet in the middle, but she sits up straight when she sees Neil and Andrew. Renee is sitting cross legged next to her, a serene look on her face.

“I’d like to be the first to say, what the fuck,” Allison says, once everyone is settled. “Who knew you two were a couple?” When no one moves to say anything, she frowns. “I want a raise of hands.” Andrew raises his hand first and Allison rolls her eyes.

Slowly, Dan and Matt join him, along with Kevin and Nicky. Allison throws her hands in the air. “And no one was going to tell me? Do you know how much money I have invested in this?”

“You were betting on us?” Neil asks, surprised. Andrew thinks his surprise is rather naive.

“How much did you win?�� Andrew asks instead, leaning forward. Allison grins slyly.

“Enough,” Dan says. “We’re an exy team, not a gossip magazine. It’s no one’s business who’s sleeping with who as long as it doesn’t affect your performance on court.”

Andrew had been expecting Kevin to agree with Dan, but he disappoints. “You don’t have to live with Andrew,” he sneers. “If I walk in on them one more time I’m filing an official complaint with Wymack.”

Neil leans forward and glares at Kevin over Andrew. “And tell him what exactly? What exactly do you hope to achieve by doing that?”

Kevin opens his mouth to answer, but Dan cuts him off. “Enough!” Both Kevin and Neil sink back into the sofa and Andrew rolls his eyes.

“What Neil and I choose to do in our spare time concerns none of you. So, if you would be so kind, please shut the fuck up.” He smiles sharply, fingering the weight in his wristbands. The unsaid threat hangs over the room.

“I’m very happy for you two,” Renee says. She smiles pleasantly. Aaron stands abruptly, having said nothing the entire time. He glances at Andrew, gaze unreadable. Andrew smiles blandly at his twin in response.

“Yes, very happy,” Aaron says. “Can we leave now?” Dan waves her hand and the room scatters almost instantly. Neil stays slumped down on the sofa and watches as everyone leaves.

Andrew stays next to him, giving him a look from the corner of his eye. “Do you want to make it Facebook official?” He asks. “Would that make you feel better?”

Neil elbows him sharply in the side. “Very funny.”

Neil leaps out of the way of another ball, his legs burning with the exertion. Wymack blows on the whistle, halting game play for the moment and Neil makes sure to flip Andrew off. Andrew returns the gesture, spinning his racket in his hand.

Neil can feel the entire team watching them–they have been ever since the news broke–and Neil hates it. “Back to your positions,” Wymack shouts, blowing the whistle again. Neil resumes his spot in front of Andrew, running through his drill of trying to score on Andrew.

Neil finally manages to catch Andrew off-guard, faking him out and catching the very bottom of the net. Andrew slams the bottom of his racket on the floor, but Neil catches the flash of his teeth from through his helmet and can tell Andrew is smiling.

Wymack eventually calls an end to the drills. “Alright, everyone, I want you guys to take the afternoon off and I’ll see you here tonight for the game. Good job today.” They move to break off to the locker rooms. “Neil,” Wymack calls, before Neil can follow after Andrew. “Stay for a minute.”

“What’s up, Coach?” Neil asks, slightly out of breath after the court has cleared.

To his credit, Wymack doesn’t show any discomfort. “Dan told me about you and Minyard.” Neil keeps a straight face, stubbornly. “I just wanted to tell you to be careful and also to make sure you two can still work together on the court.”

Neil wants to fight, but he recognizes the support for what it is. So instead, he just nods and gives Wymack a slightly forced smile. “It won’t be a problem,” he says.

It’s their first game together since the whole team knows, Neil realizes halfway through the first half. Somehow, everything seems different, even though no one in the public can tell the difference. Neil feels hyper aware of action he makes, even though he knows his team is too busy to pay attention to what he’s doing.

Neil misses a goal, having been abruptly knocked out of the way by a backliner, his aim going wild and he can hear Andrew’s angry yell from behind. The crowd goes wild, probably thinking Andrew’s mad at Neil. He can recognize it for what it means, and grins under his helmet.

The ending of the game comes faster than Neil could anticipate and he’s lining up to fire on the goalie. Thinking back to his drill this morning and pulls the same motions he did against Andrew. The ball hits the net moments before the final buzzer goes off and the crowd rises up in a tide of noise. They’ve won and Neil feels heady with triumph. The rest of the team swarms him, shouting incoherently.

Neil spies Andrew, helmet off by the goal. His hair is dark with sweat and he’s flushed with exertion. He catches Neil’s gaze and gives him a lazy salute, face blank. Neil’s moving away from the rest of his team without even realizing what he’s doing. He shoves his helmet and racket into Kevin’s arms.

Andrew must realize what his intent is because he moves towards Neil, leaving his racket leaning up against the goal post. “Yes,” he’s saying as he approaches Neil and Neil cups his face in his hands before kissing him intently.

It’s awkward and uncomfortable, both of their uniforms and gear too bulky to get particularly close, but Neil can feel Andrew’s pride in the way his hands clench in Neil’s hair. They part, and Neil’s smiling victoriously, chest heaving.

Andrew gives him an appraising once-over. “You are incredibly stupid,” he says, and he’s almost inaudible in the din of the stadium.

Neil just laughs. He can’t stop smiling and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop anytime soon. “I hate you,” he says cheerily, the rest of the team coming up around them.

Andrew just shakes his head and kisses Neil again.

[unholyhelbiglinked]

Camp Beaverbrook | 007

CHECK OUT THE STORY FROM THE START HERE

Hey Mom!

It’s been what? A week since I’ve last written. I’m not really sure if they’re sending these letters on Fridays or if they actually spend that much money on postage. Part of me thinks that they don’t send them at all and they’re just sitting in those big plastic cases that Gail always keeps under lock and key. It’s been fun, though, but I’m ready to be a counselor now. I think this is the perfect send off.

Emily

She mindlessly pushed the three lone carrots against the broth backdrop. They looked sad, all of their coating having tinted the liquid that they swam in. They looked like little life rafts that could carry a whole person if a person was an ant.

She had her lip between her teeth, her stare trained in the general direction of the counselors. On one counselor that had the sunlight hitting her just right as it rose against the mess hall. Emily had a full conversation with her yesterday, one where she only choked on her words once or twice. She knew Aubrey, had seen her every single day at camp for the past three and a half years but still- each time was met with her heart in her throat and an instant moisture to her palms.

The blonde did a bit of a double take, first catching a gray gaze before shooting back down to her own food and up again. She offered up a kind smile and a half-hearted wave. Emily fumbled with herself, cheeks inflamed as she lifted her chin in a nod and looked back toward the grooves of the table that had gotten so interesting. An onion clung to the back of her spoon.

“You are helpless.” Hayley tore a generous piece from a roll, dipping it into the broth. “Just jump her bones already.”

“What?” Emily hissed, voice low “I don’t want to- I mean, she’s flawless but that doesn’t mean I need to have sex with her. Honestly just being in her presence-“She trailed off, gulping in a heap of air “Where’s Jane?”

“Nice change of subject Michel Emerson.”

Emily let out a deep grumble at the reference. Hayley was playing to her weakness; a shitty movie about vampires that hung from the bottom of train tracks. Michel Emerson had risked everything for a pretty girl with an alluring personality, even if it did turn him into a creature of the night. “Seriously, asshole, she hasn’t shown for lunch, and now dinner?”

“So? Jane never shows. She probably passed out after her time slot on the lake. Yeah?” Hayley rolled her eyes.

She had spent more than enough time talking Emily down. She had kept the clumsy girl from nearly drowning in the lake when Aubrey told her to simply cool off. It was getting late, there was sleep eating away at the edge of her mind and it showed in her demeanor. Not particularly sunny, but often times confused with discontent.

“Sure.” Emily agreed, not having anything else to do. She had lost all appetite for any type of dinner. There was a sneaking pinprick at the back of her mind. Something that she had gotten before. Her mother used to say the uneasiness was a clear sign that she needed to listen to her gut. But that was only before she put her on a plane for a class trip to New York with enough money to buy mace as soon as they touched down.

Now it was rocking her whole entire sense of being.

Emily let her spoon fall into the soup that was mainly untouched. It created a loud noise and beef broth soaked against her cheek. Hayley flinched, lifting her eyebrows. “You’re going to offend the chef.”

Coffee eyes shot towards the kitchen, Jesse was bringing the knife down on what looked like more onions. It certainly smelled that way. He had bulky headphones over his ears and a towel against his shoulder, head bobbing along. Somehow, she knew he would be okay.

She rolled her eyes and swung her legs over the bench. ��Wha- where are you going?”

“I am going to go check her cabin,” Emily said, throwing her napkin down against the bowl of soup before gathering it all together. She didn’t wait for Hayley to open her mouth in protest, instead, she walked towards the very window that supplied the neon light of the kitchen.

Jesse glanced up, lifting his chin slightly before she gave him a wary smile and dropped the bowl before anyone else had, careful not to spill the broth. He went back to bobbing his head, and Emily exited the mess hall trying impossibly hard not to look towards the counselors.

There was a frigid chill to the air that made her seek for any type of warmth, a jacket over her simple cotton t-shirt, something to ease the cold that presented itself the moment the sun started to lower against the pine needle trees.

She shoved her hands into her jean shorts and walked against the path that had been carved out ages ago. There were boot prints, and even bare feet tracked in the loose dirt. Her breath pressed into the air in a soft cloud, something she used to exhaust. That small prick buzzing like her table was ready at a family restaurant.

The cabin looked bigger than before, almost like each of the three steps that she took up to the screen door were miles long. Her legs ached and shook, but she still pulled it open and glanced around the space: Her bed had been made this morning and was still left untouched. Hayley’s was a mess under her own, and Jane was empty. The covers were pulled back and the setting sun highlighted it in a ghastly orange.

Emily let out the breath that she didn’t know she was holding onto. Her lungs burned, and her ears were ringing now. A pressure and anxiety that she couldn’t fiddle with tugged at her. The door creaking open as she turned to face it.

Hayley.

She leaned against the doorframe, eyebrows raised. “Not here?”

“No, afraid not.” Emily let out a deep breath. “Dinner over?”

The girl nodded and flopped down on her mattress, stretching her hands out over her head as she groaned as her back popped in just the right way. She didn’t think she took that long to walk to the cabin across the camp, but she had, dragging her feet and begging for a reason to make the ringing stop.

Emily could feel her throat tighten and she blamed the cold air, not the deepening feeling in her stomach as she shook her head and pushed past her screen door, standing staggered against the steps to her cabin. It was crowded this time, kids trying to get back to their bunks before the mountain night grew chillier.

She watched as kids that wore a mix of forest green and golden yellow walked among counselors that were far from finished with their nights. She would often see the fire rising from the rocky shore and smell the beer in the metal trash cans that next morning. The thought made her skin prickle.

Aubrey Posen stood by the edge of the path, her arms crossed over her chest as those deep green eyes peered into Beca’s. The girl was shorter than her superior, but the way she puffed out her chest and sneered made Emily think that she had more gall than the woman she was looking for. Chloe had an even hand on her shoulder as if to hold her back or pull her to their shared cabin. The archery instructor lifting perfectly sculpted eyebrows up in discontent.

Emily steeled her nerves and walked forward, cutting across the crowd as a few people mumbled while others stared directly at her. She kept her distance, but not too much, Beca Mitchell shooting her midnight stare her way as if to acknowledge her presence.

“Hey, Em” Chloe offered up warmly, trying to defuse the situation, Aubrey’s own stare had softened a great deal, though, she never let her shoulders drop. “What’s up?”

She wanted words for form, really, she did. But they seemed to stall in her throat. At the crackling sound that she let out, Aubrey straightened her shoulders and turned herself completely towards the camper, knitting her brow. “Em?”

“I don’t want to bother you, it’s just- Jane, my cabin mate, I haven’t seen her all day.”

She knew she was taking it slow, mumbling. Four sets of eyes were on her. The surrounding area had been voided of kids, all of them sneaking liquor in their own cabins. Smoking loose cigarettes that they had hidden in their t-shirts before spraying a thick layer of lavender spray.  

“She usually misses breakfast, but never lunch, or dinner. I’m uh, I’m worried about her.”

“Jane Eide?” Stacie asked, shoving her hands into the pockets of her oversized sweatshirt. “I’ve been working with her. She didn’t show today, though, figured she had fallen asleep.”

“I pulled her from the water the other night,” Beca admitted, “Late. She and two others were out on the lake after dark.”

Aubrey pulled in an easy breath, one that was far too calm for a situation like this, there was an unknown type of fear that was behind her darkened eyes. One that she wouldn’t really admit to, but Emily could see it. She could feel it.

“Right, so no one has seen her since last night?” All silence and blinking eyes. “Emily, did you hear her come in last night?”

“No, I didn’t. Neither did Hayley.”

“Okay. Stacie, you go back to the mess hall with Jesse, search the mess hall and the quad.” Aubrey had a certain stiffness to her voice. “Chloe, Beca. I need you to go to the north building and check the phone log- maybe she phoned home. Emily, follow me.”

No one made a move for a few seconds, just staring at the woman in front of them until she clapped her hands together and snapped everyone out of a haze that felt like a hazy dream. Campers didn’t just vanish. Some would get homesick, sure, but they would call their parents and get picked up begrudgingly. The feeling Emily had seemed to stem within the circle of them and extend- Stacie the first to nod and step away, doing a slight jog towards her station.

Chloe took reign and used the hand still on Beca’s shoulder to drag her towards the building that housed a small desk and the white postal bucket that everyone placed their letters in. There was a phone and a yellow log to write in, hopefully, Jane had.

“Come on,” Aubrey said, and Emily followed like an obedient dog on a short leash. They were walking in one clear direction and Aubrey was moving fast the cold not seeming to get to her, so Emily rolled her shoulders back and forgot about her own chilled bones.

Aubrey pushed past the door to her little cabin, something that looked out over the east side of the lake and was isolated to everyone else. No one dared come this close to a place like this, the place that Aubrey would sit and drink coffee before anyone disturbed her.

Emily didn’t know what to expect, but it looked almost normal: There was a little television that was an obnoxious shade of blue and had rabbit ears stretching to the sky. A nicely made bed and a small table with two chairs on either side of it. There were lights strung up over a floral bedspread. It smelled thickly of lavender, and it pulled Emily in. She struggled to stay against the threshold.

“Here,” Aubrey seemed slightly out of breath, she stretched forward and handed Emily a hard metal flashlight. She had palmed one herself, its silver shell reflecting the fairy lights. “We’re going to check around the lake.”

“Okay,” was all Emily could mumble, the woman pulled open what looked like a closet instead of a dresser. She produced a brown leather bomber jacket that had a fur collar, folded and covered in patches. It looked worn and overwhelmed her with scent as it was tossed in her direction. “I can’t-“

“It’s cold,” Aubrey said tenderly. She was wearing a sweatshirt herself, adjusting the collar as she flicked off the light and pressed herself through the doorway. Emily could feel her heat against her front.

She hurriedly slid it over her shoulders before closing the door and jogging slightly to catch up with Aubrey, she had already flicked her flashlight on. It created a circle of yellow that she swept over the grounds that they walked against, their sneakers loud compared to the silence of the night. Emily couldn’t hear crickets.

Her shoulder would bump against Aubrey’s every couple of steps, and she savored the touch, moving her own beam of light close to the water’s edge. It lapped at the stones and made them look prettier than they really were.

“I lost my hamster once.” Emily finally said timidly.

There was a slight hint of a laugh, or maybe a scoff, that pushed past Aubrey’s lips. Either way,  its splayed against the darkness of the sky in a puff of white. “What?”

“Yeah, when I was six, I had a hamster and he got out of his cage somehow. We couldn’t find him for a couple of days- maybe a week. I don’t remember. I was six. But we finally found him, you know.”

“Where was he?” Aubrey asked, pulling a branch up for the both of them to duck under. It smelled like pine and dropped dead needles at the movement. The lights from the camp were getting smaller as they wandered into the large isolated parts of the perimeter. The lights from the cabins looked like they were put through a funhouse mirror as they reflected off the inky water.

“He was in the television.”

“Your hamster?”

Emily hummed in response, letting her light move against the stretch of trees. They looked scarier at night. “Yeah, in that little part where the speakers usually are. He had chewed through all of them, so at least we knew he didn’t starve. The little guy lived four more years after that… so uh, maybe we’ll find her. You know?”

“Jane is a person, not a rodent.”

“Oh, I know,” Emily’s shoe slid on the closest rock, the sound splaying oddly as Aubrey instinctively reached and clutched onto her arm, keeping her from sliding too much “Thanks. I just don’t think I’ve lost anything else before.”

Aubrey stopped then, her back to the forest as she parted her lips. Emily didn’t know if it had anything to do with her eyes adjusting or the fact that the moon had risen to its fullest point, but it was easier to see. Every part of Aubrey looked milky blue, her lips and eyes darker than the rest of her subtle features. She looked like a siren, playing oddly with the rubber button on her light. Almost like she was nervous.

“I have,” Aubrey said, so softly it was almost muted by the water lapping the shore. “My father he uh, he left when I was fifteen, maybe sixteen? I don’t think we tried too hard to find him but it um, it feels kind of like this. You know?”

“Like someone is holding your heart and just kind of… squeezes it?”

Aubrey let out a long-held onto breath “Yeah, yeah. Like that. Is it getting tighter for you too?”

Emily chewed on her bottom lip. She had to admit, the feeling seemed to melt away around Aubrey. She was a calming presence, an authority figure that she gawked at if anything. Aubrey sniffed, eyes sad in the moonlight as they flicked towards Emily’s mouth. “Yeah, I think so.” It was no more than a whisper.

“Emily…?”

“Yeah, Aubrey?”

The older woman’s hands were cold as she took a fluid step forward, her fingers curling around the back of Emily’ neck as she let the other hand hold tight against the flashlight. Emily had kissed people before, hell, she had done it often and diligently, but this was different. This was soft and Aubrey tasted like a mix of cinnamon and heat. Her nose was cold against her cheek as her touch moved against Emily’s jaw delicately.

Emily pulled away with a sharp breath, leaning her forehead against Aubrey’s. That hand around her heart had released its hold and let it flourish as the blood rushed past her ears. “Whoa.”

“That was-“Aubrey swallowed, her hand dropped her hand down “I’m sorry, I misread the situation, I’m sorry.” She apologized twice in one sentence, wanting to move away completely, but she had found Emily’s hand curled around the collar of her sweatshirt, holding her in place.

“No,” She whispered, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to do that but-“

“It’s not the right time.” Aubrey finished her thought, swallowing roughly. “We need to keep going.”

Emily nodded and eventually dislodged her fingers from the girl's coat, even if it was the last thing she wanted to do. They returned to walking in silence, their feet crunching against dried leaves and gravel. She could swear she felt the ghost of a cold hand.  

[noonmutter]

Final Acts

(( Fair warning: This got really long at about 3600 words. ))

Deliverance Point was abuzz, more so than it had been in a while. Everyone was feeling that mix of excitement and bone-chilling terror that preceded a major change on the battlefield. The Tomb would crack open any day now, and everyone was ready, and no one was ready. Most of the time, this problem was addressed by drinking, going to a brothel, gambling, and in some cases, deserting.

He’d gone with option three, and had come out actually profiting a little bit, but it didn’t really help all that much. Of course he’d cheated, but so had everyone else at the makeshift table; winning wasn’t the point, the actual game was whether you could keep the other guys from guessing your trick. Fair games were dull and people who took offense at basic loaded dice rarely had enough money to be worth the hassle anyway.

Option one came afterward, once he had the coin for it. His tolerance was far too high for going to bars unless he was willing to go broke until next pay day, especially bars catering to soldiers. He needed a lot of drink to get a buzz, but at least the mixed nature of the forces on the Shore made price gouging dangerous territory. You could get away with that sometimes, but not when a too-sober Tauren paladin was standing in front of you with six friends and a mug half full of water.

Option two... he wanted option two very much. He was lonesome, and there was an abundance of company to be found on the floating city, one short flight away. But he was spoken for, and he wasn’t a dishonorable man where it mattered. Even if he’d been willing to entertain the idea for more than a few minutes, he knew Shedwyn would be crushed. And then castrate him. And then Leon would probably show up and kick his head in...

Terry didn’t respect the deserters, but he understood them.

His reverie was broken by a poke in the side, and it took him a moment before he thought to look down. The goblin courier scoffed at him, then held up a clipboard and a package of simple brown paper and twine. “Sign here, mac.”

“Sign?” Terry couldn’t recall the last time he’d had to sign for mail.

“Yeah, sign. Y’know, pen to paper, scribble somethin’? Usually yer name. I ain’t picky, whatever’s fastest.”

Already tired of listening, Terry took the clipboard and scrawled something that might have been his name, but had even odds of being a bunch of swear words. To judge by the goblin’s expression, he interpreted it as the latter. He hung around a few seconds, looking expectant, but Terry had already started walking away. With an irritated sigh of “Cheap friggin’ Gilneans,” he took his leave.

Rather than returning to the hustle and noise of the Point proper, Terry walked out past the edges of the More-or-Less-Safe Zone. His personal campsite wasn’t too far from the point, but far enough that he could avoid most of his night terrors. Some of the dreams were stubborn and came to him regardless, but he chalked that up to general fatigue.

Sitting down in front of his tent with a soft grunt, he took a proper look at the package and clucked his tongue in disapproval when he found the address was printed, rather than handwritten. The sender’s address wasn’t one he recognized, and he hated not knowing where things came from. It didn’t stop him from opening the thing, but it made him somewhat wary. Turning it over to find the knot in the twine, his nerves settled when he found a letter held flush against the box, addressed “Terry - Read First” in Vember’s tidy hand. He didn’t recognize the wax seal holding the envelope shut, though.

Dutifully, he set the box down without unwrapping it and broke the seal on the letter. Although some of the phrasing sounded like Vember, the handwriting was not hers. It was even cleaner, almost like a printed script, and clearly painstakingly pored over to minimize spatter from the quill and avoid mistakes. He wouldn’t have been surprised if the writer had been using a ruler.

“Terry,

I hope this letter finds you at an opportune time. If you are not already, I would suggest that you be seated and, knowing you, alone. Following the events of our initial raid on the lab in Gilneas, a large number of notes and materials were recovered and sent to the Kirin Tor for further study. Among them were a series of objects revealed to be data storage devices, the functionality of which is best left unwritten.

The Kirin Tor were recently able to translate the information on these devices to a less primitive medium, and upon review, deemed it nonviable for research purposes and returned it to us. 

Enclosed, you will find a Draenic crystal recording device, in which one sequence has already been stored. Upon realizing what it was, Vember and I determined its fate would be best left to you to decide. Please be assured that we did not play the recording in its entirety, out of decency and respect.

You are free to keep this device and the data on it, and I have included instructions on how to operate it. It is also possible to delete the data, or to record over it if you deem it necessary.

Respectfully, Lady Neun Shadhemir Vember Marlon Shedwyn Mair Lias” Just below that, in Vember’s own handwriting, was a single line:

“You have my word that I will not breathe a word of this to your brother. But you should. - V”

His hands were trembling once he’d gotten through the second paragraph. By the time he’d finished reading it, he nearly lost the slip that explained how the device worked in his rush to open the box.

The device itself was...underwhelming, a pleasant but bland quartzlike rectangle about eight inches across with a faint bluish sheen to it. Arcane energy arced between it and his fingertips for a moment before settling to an almost imperceptible warmth in his hands. It took him a few minutes to figure out he was holding it upside down, but once that was sorted, getting it working was a matter of seconds.

On activation, the device glowed bright blue, and most of the flat surface shimmered before turning a deep, pure black. The display was wobbly and unclear at the beginning, but clarified after a few seconds, until he was able to discern a set of hands--his hands--opening a door...

“Wha’ d’you mean you shot ‘im?!”

“Only in th’ leg, mate!”

“WHY DID YOU SHOOT ‘IM?!”

Diggs’ face was white as the hunter, barely out of his teens, pushed back his antlered hood and rubbed frantically at his scarred mouth. “I-I-it were a--there was a bloody--’e was a madbeast, Terry! Y’din’t say nuffin’ bout ‘im bein’ one o’ those!”

[Eyes wide, Terry mumbled “Oh god” to himself, but did not stop watching.]

Terry swore for the hundredth time in the last minute and a half, picking up his own rifle and moving his rucksack next to the doorway. He was glad he was already dressed. “You bloody nit, why were y’even carryin’? Y’were just sposed t’ watch ‘im!”

“Don’t put this on me, bruv! Yer th’one din’t fink t’mention I might be starin’ atta ‘ell’ound!”

The impact of Diggs’ back on the wall was loud, and he let out an undignified yelp when he felt something pop. Terry’s grip on his shoulders was like steel--angry steel--as he got in close and snarled, “Leon could be dead right now, you fuckin’--”

“What th’ bloody ‘ell is goin’ on in ‘ere?!”

Terry’s blood ran cold all over again as dad’s voice rattled both their brains. The man could really boom when he wanted to, and the tiny Duskhaven cabin they’d been given already amplified every footstep. He wasn’t the least bit surprised that Diggs bolted into the night the instant he could, leaving Terry standing alone, rifle in one hand, pack by the door, as his parents came inside. Bettany reached out to stop the fleeing man, but missed by a wide margin when he actually juked around her.

[A weak, mournful laugh. ”You cowardly prick.”]

They’d been away at their own party, but it was the old-folks’ party, so they were dressed a bit nicer. Mum’s hair was still done up the fancy way she liked, and she’d managed to keep her one good dress pristine for another day. Dad’s suit was already trying to split at every seam again, after a dozen trips to a dozen tailors. He already dwarfed his wife, but that suit made it even more obvious just how big he really was.

[Terry wished, as he watched the scene unfold all over again, that the suit didn’t fit because his dad was fat. It would’ve been easier to deal with him if he was fat.]

Graeme set one huge hand on his wife’s shoulder and stepped around her, not letting her get between him and Terry, though she’d already started to try. Bettany knew what was coming and her expression had shifted from confusion to determination almost immediately. The younger Ambroce stared up into his dad’s face [Terry noticed the way the image seemed to pinch at the edges; he’d been trying to look stern, and ended up scowling instead] as he came close enough to make out every stray whisker around the bush of a beard he wore.

I can still do this. It’ll still work. Just please, please, let it work fast.

“We’re leavin’. T’night. I already sent Leon a’ead.” The focus shifted for just a second to Mum’s worried frown, then back to Dad, just in time to catch his mouth twitch at one corner. When Graeme didn’t say anything beyond a low harrumph, Terry continued, voice audibly quivering this time. “I’m takin’ mum with me. It ain’t safe ‘ere.”

“What was tha’ rat bastard friend o’ yours screamin’ about b’fore ‘e ran like ‘e stole somethin’?” 

“I--’e was--sposed t’ be... guidin’ Leon through th’--”

Graeme wasn’t having it, scoffing and beginning to pace back and forth across the narrow hallway while keeping his eyes solidly on Terry’s face. “That slag was Leon’s guide outta town? Th’same dipshit ‘o wanted t’ fight Kormac stone sober an’ couldn’t tell th’ dif’rence between moss ‘n’ poison ivy?”

Rather than trying to defend one of the weakest lies he’d told in his life, Terry bulled ahead, raising his voice to be heard over his dad’s. “We’re already packed in too tight, there’s more people filt’rin’ in ev’ry day, an’ there’s things in th’ woods out ‘ere! We ‘ave t’go b’fore there’s no way t’get gone!”

“I am not leavin’ my ‘ome be’ind just so you kin feel like th’ big man in th’ouse, boyo!”

Again, Terry’s eyes shifted to mum, looking to her for help. She just barely nodded her head to him before stepping forward, reaching for Graeme’s arm. “Love, it’s not safe ‘ere. ‘E’s not wrong about th’woods. You know tha’ better’n anybody ‘ere.” She was trying to force him to look at her, but he wouldn’t stop pacing, and eventually swatted her hand off of him.

Terry growled under his breath, moving closer to the door and holding out his hand. “I’m not doin’ this all over again. I’m--we’re leavin’, with or without you.” He held out his hand toward mum, but her eyes narrowed and then went wide. “Is that blood?”

Terry looked down and saw the dark red smear across his palm. It must’ve gotten on him when he’d shoved Diggs around. Saying nothing right away, he pulled a handkerchief from his shirt and began wiping it clean. 

“Terry, what ‘appened?” Now mum was rushing forward, grabbing for his hand and intent on inspecting him for damage. He managed to dodge her once and once only before she whapped him over the back of the head and took his hand anyway. “It is blood!”

[”Don’t say it!” Cringing in almost physical pain, he knew what was coming.]

“Nothin’ t’worry over, it’s not mine.”

That, of course, was not the right thing to say, causing both of his parents to stop moving and look straight at his face. He knew what he’d done as soon as it’d left his mouth, but there was no taking it back. Bettany didn’t have a chance to say anything else before Graeme had crossed the room to shove Terry back a few feet.

“Whose blood is it then, boy? What’ve you done?”

“Dammit there’s no time fer this shit! Leon’s waitin’ fer--”

[Now, of course, Terry knew why he hadn’t seen it coming; he’d been talking, angry, panicked over his brother bleeding out somewhere in the woods. But it was plain as day on the screen.] As soon as the word ‘Leon’ reached his ears, Graeme’s eyes flicked down to focus on the rifle Terry still held. The stubbly parts of his beard began growing, and his eyes shone yellow for just a second.

Terry was still talking when Graeme picked him up and threw him across the room, and Bettany was shouting at her husband to stop by the time he’d gotten back to his feet. Face already becoming distorted and dark, Graeme paid her no heed. He was a walking cacophony of cracking bones and fleshy squishing as he stalked toward his fallen son, and growling--actually growling, bestial, impossible--from somewhere in the depths of his enormous chest.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

[He nearly dropped the crystal when Graeme lunged forward, a monstrous wall of black hair and yellow teeth. This part, he still remembered very clearly. He remembered thinking he was going to die, and that if he didn’t, he was going to turn into the same thing. He remembered thinking that mum was right there. That Leon was still outside, probably dying.]

The first few seconds were brutal and bloody, as a man pinned by a raging worgen always was. When he raised a hand to shield his face, one of Graeme’s claws went straight through his palm, nearly gouging his eye anyway. At one point, he’d managed to draw a bowie knife, but all that did was give the beast something to chew on and scrape up his muzzle with.

[Terry was confused. This wasn’t right. He’d had his rifle. He’d had his rifle, and they’d grappled over it, and he’d used it to block the worst of the damage--]

BLAM.

Graeme toppled sideways with an unmistakably canine yelp of pain. Terry turned his head to see Bettany holding his smoking rifle in shaking hands, eyes streaming, expression hard. She was clearly holding herself together as tightly as she could, and just as clearly, it wasn’t quite enough. “Graeme. Get up. Please.” When no response came, she cocked the rifle and took a single step forward, half-shrieking, “Give me back my ‘usband, you devil-dog bastard!”

He turned again, stunned, to look back at the thing that had been his father. As he took in the sight of the hulking brute laying in a rapidly spreading pool of blood with a gaping hole blown out of his side, everything shook for a few seconds. There was a distant rumble like thunder, but not quite the same, and the wolf finally stirred. Terry started to sit up, but fell down almost immediately with an agonized gasp. The sound shook Bettany out of her momentary lapse in control and she started toward him, only to stumble and drop the rifle when the world shook again.

This time, there was a shrieking sound, like trying to twist a wet branch until it snapped, amplified by ten million times and only growing louder. [Even muted by the playback from the crystal as it was, the sound was an assault on the ears. Still he watched, transfixed.] 

He could barely see straight for how wildly the world around him shook, but he was able to see the black wolf rise. They both looked up when they heard splintering wood above them, and both saw the hole forming in the roof. Graeme looked at Terry for a moment--barely a quarter of a second--and bellowed something [he could almost make it out over the din] as he ran forward to shove Bettany out of the way. The beam fell scant seconds before the rest of the roof, and then the entire world tumbled into roaring darkness around him.

It suddenly went silent, not even white noise, and stayed that way for a few seconds before the display flickered again. Grey text, numbers, and alchemical symbols began scrolling across a solid blue pane, too numerous and rapid to read. The variations began to dwindle until it was just repeating two words: “ERROR” and “SOURCE.” At the very last moment--the last frame--of the feed, another single line flashed and then disappeared. It took a few attempts to freeze it long enough to read.

“SRCMEMDUMPT101 COMPLETE. EDIT MODE? Y/N”

Terry spent almost an hour rolling the recording back, playing it again, listening as hard as he could, rolling it back, playing it again... It was too damned loud and the controls on the bloody thing weren’t fine enough to isolate the voices from the noise. In spite of himself, Terry had picked up and run all the way back up to the Point, bothering every Draenei he passed in hopes that one of them would know how to manipulate the recorder.

Once he’d nearly gotten his ass kicked for bothering the same guy a third time, he forced himself to go back to his campsite. Nearly willing to admit defeat, he caught a glimpse of his commstone sticking out of his bag.

First step: Call Darlain.

...That was the only step he had, really. He was just kind of banking on her knowing somebody who could do it, or knowing somebody who knew somebody. Thankfully, one step was all he needed; the dwarfmum pointed him to Nirahsa, a name he didn’t recognize until Darlain finally fell back on ‘Draenei woman who says ‘yes yes’ a lot.’ Driven by an almost mad need to know, Terry shelled out for a portal jump to Stormwind, rather than using the mail or, gods forbid, waiting till later. He figured nobody would miss him for a few hours.

Nirahsa didn’t have a lot of reason to want to do him a favor, and he knew that, but he was desperate, sincere, and willing to pay her every coin he had to his name if she’d do it. He assumed it reminded her of Leon (actually, she just also didn’t have a lot of reason not to do him a favor). Whatever the reason, she finally relented and told him to come back in an hour. It was a diversion from her actual work, but she needed to take a break anyway, and easy work like that counted, right?

He still insisted on paying her for the work, especially once she handed him written instructions on how to use the little remote she’d put together for him. Had he been in his standard state of mind, he would’ve asked how much she had watched, but his concern was firmly on finding privacy to pore over the recording again. Terry did have enough sense to make sure he sent a message to Shedwyn, telling her he was back in town and to find him at the barracks.

Once he got there, he settled in to get to work.

[With Nirahsa’s tweaks, he was able to mute the background noise almost completely in a matter of minutes. It was with some trepidation that he pressed ‘play’ once again. He wasn’t quite expecting the voice amplification to work as well as it did; it was picking up things that weren’t even shouted. The sound was distorted from the effects applied to it, but functional.]

Graeme rose and grunted in pain. As the wolf’s head lifted to take in the sight of the building in the beginning stages of collapse, he growled “No” to himself. Then, he looked at Terry, and began to run. 

[Yelling with almost no sound around to muddy it up, his voice made the crystal vibrate noticeably in Terry’s hands, almost startling him enough to drop it.]

“I’m sorry, Terry! I’m sorry! I love you! Find--”

Whatever else Graeme had hoped to say was cut off by another yelp and a scream as a beam almost as big around as he was slammed into his back, and the feed ended shortly after.

Terry didn’t watch it again, dropping the crystal on his cot and staring at nothing. At some point, his eyes began to water, but he didn’t move save to blink and breathe. When it finally progressed to tears, he didn’t make any attempt to wipe his face. In the next hour, he only moved once: to pick up his pillow, bury his face in it, and scream until he couldn’t anymore.

Just after dusk, Terry’s boots made soft squeaking sounds as he walked slowly through the damp grass. He came to a stop at the foot of the lilac-strewn graves, took one breath, read his father’s headstone, and froze. All the preparation he’d made in his head--things he’d rehearsed a dozen times over, words he wanted to say--dropped away in an instant, bringing him to the ground with his head hung so low his chin nearly touched his chest. His hands rested limply in the grass by his knees, and he wept unrestrained.

All he could bring himself to say were three tiny words, tearing themselves free of his painfully tight throat, filling the little clearing with ache and regret inbetween wracking sobs.

“Me too, dad.”

( @darbiebot @nirahsa @shedwyn @vembermarlon @neun-deserrat )

[artificialqueens]

wingwomen ch2 (trixya, shalaska) - lale

A/N: thanks for all the feedback on chapter 1! Keep looking out for new installments this week :)

Alaska grumbled to herself as she walked into her social studies class, swinging her bag onto her desk and dropping into her seat. Her phone buzzed where it was tucked into the waistband of her skirt, and she took it out and saw that she had a whatsapp.

Bozo 🤡: don’t embarrass me!

Bozo 🤡: just be nice to her. casual. don’t be weird!

Bozo 🤡: i mean it

Queen of the snakes 🐍: calm down, weirdo, this was all your idea!

Bozo 🤡: and it’s a fucking good one! i want you to tell me every single thing you say.

Queen of the snakes 🐍: she just walked in. i told her you’re in love with her.

Bozo 🤡: 😡😡😡

Bozo 🤡: what’s she wearing??? That dress yesterday was amazingly hideous. kinda love it, kinda wanna burn it

Alaska looked up, watching Katya cross the room and take a seat at the desk diagonally behind her own.

 Queen of the snakes 🐍: all pink, super cute!

Bozo 🤡: ??????

Queen of the snakes 🐍: 😂

Bozo 🤡: you fucking bitch, die

Queen of the snakes 🐍: today’s outfit is a shirt with at least four patterns on. All horrible. She’s got a bow in her hair, though.

Bozo 🤡: omfg

Queen of the snakes 🐍: it’s black. I think she might be wearing a necklace made of cigarettes?

Bozo 🤡: stop lying you rotted whore!

Queen of the snakes 🐍: im not! i’ll send you a snapchat

Bozo 🤡: don’t you fucking dare!!! She’ll think you’re a total freak

Queen of the snakes 🐍: i can be sneaky!!

Bozo 🤡: 😡

Queen of the snakes 🐍: fine, weirdo. i’ll text you after class

Bozo 🤡: BE NICE ABOUT ME

Alaska tucked her phone away again, rolling her eyes at Trixie overdramatic reaction. Yes, maybe she had a tiny, miniscule crush on Sharon Needles, but she’d never gone this crazy over her, especially not when she’d only just met her. Apart from that time she’d walked into a door because she was distracted by Sharon back in their Freshman year, but that had only been because Sharon had just dyed her hair peroxide blonde for the first time and Alaska hadn’t been able to resist staring at her.

She took a deep breath, then plastered a grin onto her face as she turned to face Katya.

“Hiee!” she chirped, crossing one long leg neatly over the other. Katya blinked at her in surprise, full red lips parted.

Hi?” she repeated, sounding unsure of herself.

“My name’s Alaska. What’s yours?” Alaska asked. Of course, she already knew exactly who she was, but she didn’t think that was the best way to introduce herself.

“Katya,” Katya replied, still looking a little wary. “You are one of the cheerleaders, yes?”

“Yeah!” Alaska agreed, pleased for an easy way to try to steer the conversation towards Trixie.

“You stare at us yesterday,” Katya said, eyes narrowing. “You and the one who look like pink doll.”

“Barbie?” Alaska asked, feeling her stomach sink at the hostile turn in Katya’s tone.

“Da! Her name is Barbie also?” she replied, cocking her head.

“No! Her name’s Trixie. She just looks like a Barbie,” Alaska explained. Katya crossed her arms over her chest.

“I have seen Heathers movie. Cheerleaders are bitches, you do not stare to be nice,” she said.

“No! We’re nice, I swear,” Alaska said, her face hot with embarrassment. Had they been that obvious in the way they’d been watching Sharon and Katya the day before? Had Sharon always noticed Alaska stealing glances at her?

“Is because Sharon is gay?” Katya asked bluntly.

“Of course not. I’m gay, and so is Trixie. She’s the head of the LGBT club here,” Alaska said, proud of herself for bringing things back to Trixie.

“Oh. And Barbie is your girlfriend?” Katya asked, sounding curious now. Alaska felt triumphant, like she’d successfully defused a bomb.

“Oh, no way. I mean, we kissed once, but it was gross, like kissing my sister. I mean, she’s not a bad kisser! Far from it. I’ve only heard good things. Not that kisses a lot of girls! But she has kissed some, and lots of people want to kiss her!” Alaska felt like she was watching herself from outside her body as she rambled on, her words getting quicker and voice higher as she dug herself deeper and deeper into a hole. As soon as she got the chance to talk Trixie up she’d managed to insult her kissing skills, suggest she was a slut and ended up talking absolute garbage.

Katya was smiling at her, though, apparently amused by her nonsense rambling. Or maybe she just hadn’t understood it all, Alaska thought hopefully.

“You are weird,” she decided, giving Alaska an approving nod.

“Yeah,” Alaska agreed, shrugging. “So, Trixie and I usually have lunch –“ She was cut off by their teacher shouting over the chatter in the room, getting everyone’s attention, and Katya shifted her focus before Alaska could finish inviting her to lunch with them. Oh well, she’d still made progress. It seemed that they hadn’t made the best impression on Katya, but she thought she’d managed to talk her around.

Queen of the snakes 🐍: she asked me about you

Bozo 🤡: ?????????

Queen of the snakes 🐍: she kept calling you Barbie

Bozo 🤡: today is the day i die

Bozo 🤡: this is the best moment of my LIFE

Bozo 🤡: did she say anything else???

Queen of the snakes 🐍: pretty sure she hated us before i talked to her

Bozo 🤡: omg why

Queen of the snakes 🐍: she saw us staring yesterday. i think sharon doesn’t like us

Bozo 🤡: but Katya doesn’t hate me now, right??

Queen of the snakes 🐍: thanks for the sympathy bitch

Bozo 🤡: Sharon hates everyone, it’s her thing

Queen of the snakes 🐍: you’re so helpful

Bozo 🤡: don’t you worry, i’m gonna change her mind. i’m the best wingwoman!

Queen of the snakes 🐍: who exactly have you been a wingwoman for??

Bozo 🤡: Shea and Sasha, at Pearl’s holiday party!!!

Queen of the snakes 🐍: drunkenly crying over them when you found them making out doesn’t count as being a wingwoman

Bozo 🤡: close enough! trust me, this is going to be amazing. she’ll be in love with you by lunch

***

Usually, Trixie was one of the first ones to all of her classes. She was a good student, and she liked to take a moment to settle herself before class began so that she could focus properly. Today, however, she forced herself to hang around by her locker until just before the bell for next period rang. She was one of the last people to arrive at her Algebra class, which left only one seat for her to take – the one next to Sharon Needles at the back of the classroom.

“Shit, how can you even see from back here? Do I need glasses?” she muttered to herself, squinting at the board. Really, she thought to herself, the things she sacrificed for Alaska. She was a great friend.

She couldn’t believe Katya had asked about her. Had she made an impression on her already? She couldn’t help the small, excited grin that spread across her face. Did Katya think she was cute? Alaska would have said if Katya had been asking because she thought her makeup was awful or something. 

Knowing Alaska’s conversation with Katya had gone so well made her determined to do her part for her best friend. Her immediate crush on Katya had given her a little taste of how Alaska must have been feeling this whole time for Sharon, and Trixie didn’t know how she didn’t go insane with it. She felt like she was buzzing, filled with pent up nervous energy as she considered what Katya thought of her, and what would happen if she tried to talk to her. She couldn’t! She was too nervous. It made sense now why Alaska had always resisted her urges to just suck it up and talk to Sharon. It didn’t matter, anyway; Trixie was going to make this happen for her. 

The advantage to sitting in the back of the room was that she could talk to Sharon without being overheard as long as she was careful. They’d had several classes together over the years, but Trixie had never actually really talked to her before; Sharon always kept to herself, and Trixie usually partnered with Pearl or Fame if she needed to. Today, though, she was going to make the effort for Alaska.

“Sharon,” she hissed, leaning over towards her.

“No,” Sharon said, not missing a beat. She didn’t even look at Trixie, focused on scratching chips of black paint off of her nails. Trixie blinked at her, taken aback.

“But I just –“

“No,” Sharon repeated. Trixie gaped at her. She hadn’t prepared for Sharon refusing to even talk to her. This never happened – she was a cheerleader! Everyone always wanted to talk to the cheerleaders.

“Sharon, please,” she tried one more time, and Sharon finally lifted her head, giving Trixie a withering stare that made her shrink in her seat.

“Fuck off,” she said succinctly.

Trixie looked back towards the front of the room, still shocked by the hostile response she’d received. She was definitely going to have to rethink her plan.

***

Sharon sat down on the grass that afternoon, Katya hot on her heels. The cheerleaders were already gathered together, and she watched as Alaska and Trixie drifted to the pack of the group to stand together and gossip as they did every day. A cigarette packet appeared under her nose, and she blinked and looked over at Katya’s grinning face.

“You stare at cheerleaders,” she said, putting a cigarette between her lips and lighting it easily before offering her lighter to Sharon.

“They always look over here. Probably bitching about me,” Sharon said, lighting up her own cigarette and leaning back on her palms.

“One talked to me today,” Katya told her, exhaling a long plume of smoke and crossing her legs out in front of her.

“Which one?” Sharon asked.

“The tall one. Standing at back,” Katya said.

“The pretty one?” Sharon said, watching Alaska as she talked to Trixie.

“Friend.”

“Trixie? With the makeup?” Sharon asked. Had Trixie decided to spend her day trying to talk to any weirdo she could find?

“Not Barbie! Alaskaaa,” Katya said, drawing out her name in a pretty accurate impression of Alaska’s distinctive drawl. Sharon snickered.

“Wait, are you calling Trixie Mattel the pretty one?”

“Da! Beautiful,” Katya said, her gaze focused on Trixie.

“You really are fucked in the head,” Sharon said, getting a cloud of smoke blown in her face for her troubles.

Trixie was pretty enough, sure, but Sharon didn’t like her. They’d never spoken before today and she was still rattled by Trixie’s attempts to talk to her. She thought she’d played off her discomfort pretty well, and it had certainly been satisfying to tell Trixie to fuck off.

Sharon knew what girls like Trixie were like. She’d seen every movie where the cheerleaders liked to fuck with the weird kids, so she knew better than to think that Trixie might have been trying to be nice. Trixie might have been the head of the LGBT club, but she was still a cheerleader first and foremost. Lesbian or not, Sharon didn’t trust her.

“What was Alaska talking to you for?” she asked Katya, who was already stubbing out the butt of her first cigarette and taking another from the pack.

“She was nice. Strange. Talked to me about kissing Barbie,” Katya said.

“What the fuck? Are they a thing now?” Sharon asked in surprise. An irrational flash of jealousy shot through her at the thought of Alaska kissing Trixie.

“She said it was gross. Got embarrassed, very funny,” Katya explained, shrugged. “Weird girl. Like you! I like her.”

“She’s not like me. She’s cool,” Sharon said, venom seeping into her voice.

“You’re cool!”

“You’re crazy,” Sharon shot back. She wasn’t even sure how she’d ended up friends with Katya. She’d turned up at school one day and decided that Sharon was going to be her friend. That had probably come from being able to tag along on Sharon’s smoke breaks, she thought. Whatever the reason, she was glad to have her crazy Russian friend around. She didn’t like anyone at their school, not really, but she still got lonely sometimes, spending her days by herself.

“You really do not like them, no?” Katya said. Alaska and Trixie glanced over at them, then turned around again. They seemed to be discussing something important, from the look of concentration on Trixie’s face – not that it was easy to tell what she was feeling with the layers of makeup on her face.

“They’re bitches. I don’t trust them. Haven’t you seen Carrie? The cool kids pretend to make friends with the loser and then they throw pig blood over her.”

“Pig blood not so bad,” Katya replied with a shrug. “Beside, loser girl murders them all with her mind! That could be you,” she added, beaming at Sharon.

“You’re such a weirdo,” Sharon replied. “I just feel like they were planning on tricking us or something. Trixie tried to talk to me in Algebra, but I told her to fuck off.”

“Barbie? You bitch!” Katya said, eyes going wide.

“You’ve never even met her!”

Katya looked back over at Trixie and Alaska, slowly exhaling a lungful of smoke.

“Beautiful,” she said after a moment, a serene smile on her face.

“Shallow bitch,” Sharon laughed. She looked over at Trixie and Katya, who were finally paying attention to the other cheerleaders. Trixie had a nice figure, with wide hips and thick thighs, but Sharon thought Alaska was the prettier of the two of them.

“Not all cheerleaders are bitch,” Katya said, stubbing out her cigarette.

“Sure they are! They’re all bitches,” Sharon rebutted.

“You talk to Willam! She cheerleader,” Katya pointed out.

“Willam is Willam. Also, she’s not a cheerleader, they kicked her out. Besides, she’s the only one here who can always find a good weed dealer,” Sharon said, waving a hand dismissively.

“You are impossible! Talk to Barbie. Be nice! Get me her number,” Katya said, winking overdramatically at her. Sharon groaned, shaking her head but laughing at how ridiculous she was.

“Alaska was really nice to you?” she asked. There was a spark of hope in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t know what it was about Alaska that had always caught her attention, but for whatever reason a tiny part of her had hoped that Alaska was nicer than the other cheerleaders.

“Da! Sharon. You sit here and watch every day. Alaska was nice. Maybe Trixie was going to be, too!” Katya said, bumping her shoulder against Sharon’s. “I talk to Alaska for you, yes? Make sure she is not mean cheerleader bitch. I see you look,” Katya said. Sharon whipped her head to face her, cheeks burning hot.

“What? No! I don’t like her,” she insisted, fiercely embarrassed. Katya screeched with laughter at her.

“I help you get girl. Trust me! I talk to Alaska, you be nice to Barbie. Deal?”

Sharon buried her head in her hands. Sometimes, she really, really wished she’d never let herself make friends with this crazy bitch.

[sarcasticlykaeon-blog]

Caught Between Worlds

Stuck. Thats how it felt, every hour of every day, for as long as I could remember. Like i was some sort of freak, on the outside looking in. I can remember when i was small, barely old enough to really walk and talk, two and a half, three...and i hated dresses. I hated pink. I hated lace and frills. If i could choose or make my will known it was pants. Tshirts and sweatshirts. Childrens overalls. I hated games in preschool. The girls always wanted to play house, with husbands and babies in some sort of elaborate roleplay. The boys wouldnt let me play with them. "No girls," theyd say. "You wont know how," or "girls arent any good at this. Go play with dolls." somehow...just because i didnt have the same lower regions i wasnt good enough. So i played alone, with blocks or toys, making up elaborate adventures or stories in the process. My mother, my aunts, my grandmother...they all wanted me to be a girl. They tried to take me underwing in baking, playing with makeup, dressup, dolls...they tried to teach me about playing with hair. Me? I just wanted to test out the new computer, watch ninja turtles, and kick butt like she-ra. My one concession to female marketed programs was Jem...but honestly? I loved the story and drama, not the glamour, glitter, fashion, or fame. I was the oldest...five years between me and my brother meant i was dads son substitute until i was almost 11. I learned things like changing the oil in a car, ms-dos programming and how to kick ass in Doom, how to tackle and fight back if grabbed by a bigger opponent. Of course...the instant my middle brother was old enough to do son things....fwip! I was ignored. About the only thing i could get the old man to do was D&D. My grandfather insisted it was a phase i would grow out of, that id become a seeker of a strong man and an actual woman eventually. My mother tried to force me to conform to gender standards. My aunt was disappointed. My father only started caring about gender normativity when i hit puberty. I never told them things like "i want to grow up to be a boy" because even at three, i knew it didnt work that way, on some instinctual level. But i dod wail and growl about the unfairness. Why is x okay for boys but not girls? Why are girls expected to be like this but boys arent? And the answer...oh the answer just upset me and angered me. "Because youre expected to be a young lady." By puberty, the words "young lady" were guarenteed to trigger a huge emotional fit of rage...but i couldnt explain why. Just like the fact that i had to fight for my place amidst whatever boys lived in the neighborhood. I had to work twice as hard to prove i was worthy of being allowed to hang out...and still they sought to ditch me at every opportunity. School was even worse. I was overly tall, strong, and hyper intelligent. I was part of the "Gifted Program" (which in most school systems is naught but busy work or a careful way to set up classes in high school to fix the averages of a class.) I was, in every concievable way the outcast. And then puberty found me. Early. The first time i bled in sixth grade, i cried myself to sleep, hiding blood ruined underwear in the back of my closet until i could throw it away. I didnt tell my mother until i was sixteen--hiding this horrid, agonizingly painful thing that happened to me once a month. When i grew breasts i hated them. I hated bras. And of course, i have breasts that grew huge. I survive with super tight sports bras and tshirts because nothing else fits my fucked up frame: ive got broad shoulders, long legs, and huge feet (size 12 womens, which is impossible to find), and im like 5'8". Id be taller but my arms and torso are short, and ive got wide hips and huge breasts and butt. I hated my body and i still do. I feel like i was a crapshoot built out of the mismatched leftovers of several people. And the shit my parents tried to enforce for gender conformity to this "new identity of a young lady." first was acne management. I wasnt a pizza face, but i did and still do have a bit of an issue with blackheads (Glasses have that effect.) But my parents tried to force me to pop my zits...and when i refused because it hurt, they basically held me down and popped them for me. Then was "shaving my legs". Okay. Underarms i get because pits stink. I shave those because it feels less stanky when i do. But their issue? My legs. I refused to do it. "Boys dont, why do i? Thats not fair!" i fought. Hard. But...like the zits...theyd hold me down and buzz my legs for me from knee to foot while i thrashed and begged...all to force on me a title i never wanted, a mold i didnt fit. And i didnt understand WHY. Why was my behavior, my life and interests and hobbies and clothing all supposed to be dictated by something so unimportant? And then...when i was sixteen, i met a person i hit it off with. A sweet and funny youth my age with hair as long as mine and a goofy smile on his face. In a few months we were dating long distance and i suspect my family sighed in relief that i wasnt a lesbian. Our fathers got to be friends(which was useful, since 200miles between us put a crimp in relations.) But this had another side effect. You see, that next year i learned something id never heard before. Something id never considered until that day in 2002. His father...felt he was a woman trapped in a mans body. I was floored. This could happen? What? So i researched what i could to understand (there wasnt much, back then.) And...i began to wonder....because all I could find was for males becoming females. Even joked with my boyfriend that the universe "got us backwards" (he agreed, seeing as how he was girlier than me) And then it all crashed to a halt one night at dinner. His father, him, me, another mtf person and two other adults were at a restaurant, and the kne guy at the table with no knowledge on trans folks was asking questions. I listened, enraptured as the emotions and disconnects id always felt were described from the other side. Emboldened, 17, and perhaps seeking some form of connection or...validation for my feelings, i piped up, expressing how i felt the universe had gotten me backwards. That was the worst thing to say, as his father unloaded on me verbally for being mocking and insensitive and jumping on a bandwagon i had no business on. Treated me like i was being scum--damn near drove me to tears and made me feel small and useless. And i thought "if this is what trans ppl are like...i dont want to be like them ever." it crushed my desire to understand my gender identity and sexuality for years. It didnt help that as time went by ot seemed every trans person i encountered was one of two things: a dramawhore with the emotional stability of a 14year old girl, or someone like my bf's father who decided that i couldnt belong to his elitest club in a fashion that echoed years of "no girls allowed" from boys everywhere. The internets vast collection of professionally offended "keyboard warriors" who spew bigotry and hate and small minded idiocy while calling it "truth" or "just what X group deserves" is a steaming cesspit of shit I dont want to be part of on any level, and unfortunately many of them claim to be whatever "alternate" gender identity or sexuality is the fad this month. Its not winning me over at all, and made me shy further away from actual people i might be able to relate to...maybe who can help me. I finally did own up to something when i was 23--I was more sexually attracted to women than men. In fact...beyond a few emotion driven crushes as a teen, the only male i have ever found attractive was that same goofy, funny, smiling boy with the long hair...except these days hes my supportive, goofy, smiling mate with the softest heart of gold ive ever known inside a powerful and intimidatingly sized viking-esque exterior. But again...because on the outside, our relationship seems very "normal" im not welcomed much by the vocal minority and so im super wary of all parts of the lgbt crowd. I dont advertise or tell my relatives--my parents and their respective siblings are between 50 and 70 years old. They barely believe this stuff exists. I still dont want to be a girl. I dont want the societal expectations of it. I hate having breasts that risk knocking my teeth loose if i move too fast. And dont get me started on the fucking shit show that is my sex life. Its a complicated shit show that starts with the disconnect of parts and ends with kinks i can never actually engage in because, guess what? Im a GIRL. But at the same time, i stare at the only transmen examples and stories i can find, which seem to be rare and hidden somewhere, at places like fb and tumblr and twitter...at pride rallies and news stories...at stuff recounted by friends...and i dont want to be associated with people whose actions turn them into examples of literal human garbage. And so here i sit, caught between two worlds, never part of either one and feeling like im slowly drowning. It seems like one doesnt want me and the other i dont want... Im so tired of being stuck.