#and i can't go to the doctor bc all they'll do is tell me to take painkillers and wait for an mri!!

[gotyouanyway]

my joint pain has been REALLY bad since thursday night for no reason i can think of and it's freaking me out :(

[i-willstealyourtoes]

May I request a TF2 head cannon? Preferably one with all nine mercenaries with a Male or Gender Neutral S/O who is the medic on Blu team? Maybe how they meet S/O and what the y thing of them being a pacifist no killing kind? Their only weapon is their medi-gun and they also practice safe medicine unlike medic and how do the mercenaries act after falling for S./O?

Ofc, I got you! I think this is an interesting concept since TF2 is very violent so let's see what we can do with this :) I think because this is about them first meeting it can be viewed as platonic too, I only realised this later on TT

RED!Mercs with Pacifist!Medic!BLU!Reader

Scout

- As soon as he saw you across the battlefield, he had a hunch you were different

- It was the way you carried yourself, it brought a different energy to the fight

- When he got a little closer he couldn't help but notice how you never hurt anyone and only healed others

- It was strange to him honestly, but somewhat endearing

- It was certainly interesting enough for him to try and say hi when you were alone

- The first time you two met it was a little awkward, considering you two were on opposite teams

- "So, you don't kill at all? Why, do you not know how to or something?"

- He can be a little insensitive with his questions, but he's appreciative of your legal practices of medicine

- "Better than my doc, that's for sure. D-don't tell him I said that though, he'll probably saw off my limbs. Again."

- When he gets back, he can't help but want to talk to you again

- You're interesting, fun to tease and actually seem to want to talk to him, so that's reason enough

- Please excuse him if he tries flirting (emphasis on tries) with you, he'll probably do that for the first couple weeks he talks to you

Soldier

- When he first sees you, forming a connection with you is not in his mind at all

- But he does notice the way you act

- At first, he's confused; why are you refraining from hurting/killing others?

- He had to investigate

- And so he does, by flanking your team and killing everyone but you

- "Alright, cupcake. Who are you?"

- If you try to run, he will grab you, his hands gripping the sides of your arms

- "Nice try, but I'm not letting go unless you tell me who you are or kill me. And the second one will just make me mad!"

- After explaining (either in a panic or perfectly calm, he doesn't care), he'll seemingly just run off (as in, he will rocket-jump away), pleased with his 'excellent interrogation skills'

- After that, he'd maybe check in now and then, since despite the fact you're on the enemy team, you also seem kind of... fun?

- He'd ask you more questions, some random, some about you as a person

- Sometimes he'd criticise your medical practices, despite not being a doctor himself :/

- "You know, my doc would never take this long to patch a wound!"

- (That's because your Medic prefers speed over any sort of genuine medical practice)

- As long as you stay friendly with him, you might form an unlikely pair!

- He'll spare you a friendly wave if he sees you outside of battles :)

- In fact, he might just run up to you to try get you to participate in some adventure because everyone else on his team refuses

Pyro

(I headcanon Pyro as they/he/it, but bc not everyone agrees we'll keep it as they/them)

- Pyro doesn't have any sense of enemy team or anything like that, so they aren't immediately hostile to you in the first place (unless you do something to get them to be)

- They probably noticed a nice accessory you had, choosing to not-so-sneakily catch up with you and ask about it

- Will they burn all of your teammates just to get to you? Probably, if the accessory is cute enough

- They'll point at the item and either give a thumbs up or even clap depending on how nice it is

- If you're really wanting to be kind, give them it!

- In response, they'll hug you (they are a tight hugger be prepared) and run/skip back to their team happily

- Next time they see you, even if you're both on the battlefield, they'll wave at you excitedly

- You might even see the accessory on them (if not, it'll be in their room)

- Either way, you've already managed to earn this mercs favour :)

- During ceasefire, they might just show up at your base, all your teammates terrified as they come up to you

- Turns out, they just wanted to hang out :')

- If you're okay with it, you two can meet up in their room (the RED mercs won't bother you since they'll have to go through Pyro first)

Heavy

- Heavy normally wouldn't talk with the enemy team out of professionalism, so you'd have to seek him out most likely

- It'd probably happen during MvM, when both teams work together and you're put in the same group as him

- It'd start off with short, polite conversations, generally asking about you and so on

- "You are other team's Medic, yes? We have not met. I am Heavy."

- He, of course, trusts his own Medic the most, but he certainly appreciates the fact you use legal practices

- He's a pretty nice guy to talk to, so as long as you aren't annoying/loud all the time, he might just start to enjoy your company!

- Once the mercs get back to fighting, he'll make sure to let you know he appreciated your conversations

- "Heavy apologises for anytime Heavy kills you."

- That's as good as you'll get for now, since he'll still kill you on the battlefield

- But he might just start talking to you during ceasefire!

- He probably won't come up to you like Pyro or some of the other mercs, but if he sees you he'll strike up a conversation :)

- It'll usually be him checking up on you generally, making good conversation

- If you guys are close enough, he might just tell you the gossip he hears in his base, especially if you tell him yours ;)

Engineer

- He finds your outlook refreshing, considering that everyone else here was murderous and/or insane (not that he isn't)

- He might not talk to you for a while, since you're technically the enemy (although he doesn't really care about all of that)

- But like Heavy, he might try to strike up a polite conversation during the MvM-era

- "So, you're the other team's Medic? Nice to finally meet you. Can't say I've been able to see you over all the bullets flying normally."

- He might know one or two things about medical practices, so he doesn't mind discussing the science behind that!

- It's nice to have someone who's studious like him, it's a good change

- He's a pretty easy person to get along with, and isn't rude unless you are

- So just be genuinely interested in what he has to to say and he'll come up to you more often :)

- Even more so if you're less chaotic than his fellow mercs

- Not that he hates them (sometimes he does), but it's refreshing to have someone not be shouting in his ear and breaking things all the time

- Once the ceasefire's over, he probably won't talk to you for a while, considering how he's actually a professional

- But if he sees you during a ceasefire, he might just give you a friendly wave, or even come up to you and start up a conversation!

- It's not that he hates you or anything, but he doesn't want to compromise his job

- But if you come up to him yourself, he doesn't mind talking to you at all :)

Demoman

- Tavish doesn't have too much of an issue with talking to the other team, since he already has friends on there (ex: Soldier)

- So if he sees you outside of the fight, he might just strike up a conversation with you!

- That is, if you haven't angered him in any way during your last battle

- If you're shy, he finds that sort of... endearing?

- Everyone else here is quite loud and outgoing, so this is new (in a good way)

- But he will try to liven you up a little, forgive him if he makes you uncomfortable (just tell him to stop)

- Ask him about his interests, he will have no issue carrying the conversation if you're not the greatest at talking

- If you are good with speaking, feel free to exchange banter with him too :)

- He'll ask about your own medical methods and be shocked when you're quite the opposite to his Medic

- "So... you don't inject your team with radiation? Huh. Must be nice..."

- Either way, as long as you're friendly, you might just have a new friend from the other team!

- He might even spare you a smile and a wave before the match starts!

- But just know, he won't go easy on you still, at least not until you become closer

Sniper

- He isn't a social person himself, so it'll be very rare if he comes up to talk to you himself

- As a self-proclaimed 'professional' he'll try not to talk to you

- But he does notice you in his scopes, and can tell you're different

- He has yet to see you kill someone, and for once, you actually practice safe medicine

- Although, that won't stop him from shooting you anyway (if he's smart he'll pick off the medics first so)

- If he does talk to you, it'll be during MvM like some of the others

- He might occasionally have a brief conversation while you heal him up, mentioning how it's 'not as quick as his own Medic' (that's because it's not safe or legal Sniper)

- But eventually he might warm up to you depending how long you treat him for

- "...sorry about killing you all the time... no hard feelings, right...?"

- He's a little awkward at first, so you might have to carry the conversation

- You might not be able to tell from his relatively stale expressions, but he enjoys your conversations!

- You will be able to tell by the fact he comes to talk to you more and more often

- During ceasefire, he'll talk to you if you cross paths too, which is a big thing since he usually doesn't talk to people anyway...

Medic

- He either likes you immediately or kinda hates you, depends on the situation

- If you're new and you both meet in MvM, he'll introduce himself to you!

- It's nice to meet someone else who's in the medical field

- But then he notices the difference between you two

- The difference being, that you actually practice safe medicine

- "You know, you do not have to stitch it like that, you could use this glue here! What? It should keep the blood in!"

- He finds that the only thing you have in common is the frustration and exhaustion that comes with being the only medic in a team of 'idiots' (bar some of the mercs)

- But even the way you react is different

- "Do you not get mad? I know I do, that's when I 'accidentally' misplace one of their ribs!"

- He might try to get you to be like him, so maybe try to avoid treating people near him

- "He'll never know the difference!" (him trying to convince you to do God knows what)

- If his team meets you first, he might actually be a little jealous(?) at first, because some of them might mention how they'd prefer you

- Like, how dare they think you're better! He might just make their treatments worse on purpose!

- But either way it'll probably end with him becoming friends with you regardless of your jobs being to work against each other

- Just, maybe watch out a little because he will try to corrupt your medical practices

Spy

- You're such a breath of fresh air he has to at least give you a welcome

- You practice safe medicine, you're not a brutal murderer, and you seem less insane from an outsiders point of view

- So when he gets the chance outside of battle, he'll come up to you and say hello

- He also may or may not try to charm you immediately depending on how you interact with him

- The whole being on opposite teams thing? Eh, not too big of a deal to him if you're an interesting person to be around

- Although he won't be as active about as it like Pyro or Soldier

- But he'll maybe have a little conversation during ceasefire

- Feel free to gossip the whole time because he will eventually start doing that too

- It is mostly just him complaining about his team

- "My team are a group of imbiciles... especially my Scout. Yesterday, he.."

- Also, unlike some of the others, he won't ask you insensitive questions about your medical practices or abstaining from killing

- If anything, he probably appreciates it

- At least if you don't kill people, he doesn't have to worry about you as compared to Pyro

[lastoneout]

I s2g these like...third party? clinics that doctors send you to for MRIs and x-rays and stuff like that are run by absolute clowns.

I get an order to go an ultrasound of a weird spot on my skin that's probably just torn soft tissue just to make sure nothing's going wrong and I call them and they schedule me for the 6th of June, but tell me that the order I got from the urgent care place needs to be from the clinic supervisor, not the NP who saw me, so I need to go get that fixed, and also to tell them that the NP isn't in their system so they need to fax them documents to update her info. Okay, I'm not an employee there so idk how that last bit is my problem, but whatever.

In between this call and me having time to go to the urgent care clinic I get a call telling me actually they don't have anyone who can do the ultrasound on the 6th so I need to come in on the 30th. Great, whatever. This has happened before, sometimes DAY OF with these types of places so while it's annoying, I'll live.

There's less time before my appointment now so same day I go down to the urgent care place and explain all that and the desk lady seems to have no clue what the hell I'm talking about and just gives me a copy of the order and says if the ultrasound place needs updated stuff they have to request it, which is the opposite of what I was told but whatever!

So I call the ultrasound place and explain and the guy is like "uh no you should be fine with the order" and then to be sure he checks the info and is like "oh this doctor's info is out of date" and then he has me stay on the line and give him the urgent care clinic's phone number and address and again! I am not an employee there!! Why is this my job!! But whatever, he says I'm good, so I'm good.

Today, the 29th, I get another call from the ultrasound place informing me that actually, they don't even perform this procedure in Tucson AT ALL and if I want to get it done I either have to GO TO PHOENIX or get my order sent to a different clinic that does these. I do not understand why this information was not given to me immediately the first time I called, and now I have to go down to the urgent care clinic AGAIN and beg them to update the order, and idk if they'll even be able to do that bcs this is an urgent care clinic not my PCP, but whatever guess I get to go beg! And continue to worry about the soft-tissue tear bcs it isn't going away on it's own and idk if there's something legit wrong with me or not.

I fucking HATE these little third party clinics so much they are always canceling the day before or telling me actually I need to go to another location bcs they can't do it at this one or claiming they called me to tell me the date got moved when I didn't get a phone call AT ALL. Why are they so poorly managed. Why does no one know who works at what location or what location does what procedure. Y'all are doing serious diagnostic tests to confirm if people have like cancer or some shit, I've had procedures done at them twice to make sure I don't have cancer, but they still play SO fast and loose with people's time and yank us around.

I genuinely miss the days when they would just send you to the hospital to have this stuff done, they aren't great but at least when they say they can do something they can actually do it. Jesus christ. I'm so tired.

[castleclerics]

ABSOLUTELY INSANE NINA PROJECT PARALLELS FROM FUTURE MAN S2 (2019)

so there i was…. minding my own business watching s2 of a show i watched solely for josh hutcherson. then suddenly… he wakes up out of a simulation in a bathtub.

anyways once he fully awakes he’s greeted by literal female brenner

i don’t even think i have to explain the next screenshots so just look at this shit

she tells him she's from the future and she went back in time because she believes he's the only person with "the skills to save our world" similar to how owens tells el the same thing in 4x03

this part is crazy to me because i already had a theory that if el did the massacre, that her sending one through the gate was something her own mind made up.

anyways so the reason they put him in the simulation was to ask him questions about this guy (its a really long story) but like in the og timeline this doctor creates a cure but it destroys humanity so josh wakes up in another timeline where he didn't save the world, where stu, josh's former coworker, takes place of the og doctor. but it's interesting to think about since brenner was trying to have el find henry all this time and what if he wanted to see what questions her brain could answer about him to collect info on him or something??

el saying to brenner "i came here to try and understand who i was." LIKEEE

he asks if he says no to the simulation process then what would happen so she tells him they'll wipe his memory and "the only side-effect would be the lingering sensation like something was off. it would just be gnawing at you never more than a shadow." which reminds me of el laying in bed and getting flashes of the massacre in 4x03.

anyways onto the twin/clone stuff !!!!!!

he escapes into the desert after this so og josh doesn't end up getting killed. so basically they clone josh to see which version of him will be the correct one powerful enough to take down stu. also og josh ends up stumbling into a room of all of his dead clones :)

AHEMMM el commiting the massacre........ (for backstory in s1 he blew up a building to save the world so it was for good) and brenner recreating henry over and over…..

also just look at all the screenshots it literally looks like it was filmed where s4 nina scenes were filmed...

btw i'm still making a masterpost thing of how el rly did do the massacre it's gonna take a while bc i still have to do a little more analyzing and go over alllll of nina

there's literally more parallels but i can't fit them in this post but they aren't too important, more just to show the writers genuinely got inspo straight from this. anyways how fun right my jaw was on the floor watching this

[astridthevalkyrie]

U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

[fonulyn]

I've been thinking about Infinite Darkness again, as one does lol, and especially why I'm not super fond of Claire in it. it's been hard to come to terms with that because I started out loving Claire, she's always been one of my favorites, she's fierce and loyal and does anything she has to for what she considers to be the right thing, the fair thing. I love her fierce attitude in re2 remake, and I despite Degeneration's shortcomings as a movie I loved how Claire was portrayed in it, that she'd chosen her own path and she was working tirelessly to make the world a safer place her own way.

which is also why I don't agree with the take that she was sidelined in ID because she didn't get to go in guns blazing, because to me it felt very natural to her almost anti-gun stance in Degeneration, AND because holy shit people a female character does not need to go around waving weapons to be badass?? she does the brainy thing, she figures out the entire conspiracy on her own, but she gets no credit for that feat?? bc she doesn't shoot enough guns?? yeah no. she did great. but I digress.

so, I went into ID loving Claire and came out of it annoyed as hell, feeling like she'd been betrayed and done dirty, but it's so hard to put a finger on why exactly. there's something about how she acts, something about how she specifically interacts with other people, that feels so awkward and so unlike her. she's so needlessly antagonistic, for one.

(and the ramble continues under a cut bc this got long)

and honestly, I think the main issue I have with her is that they dumbed her down. she's not an idiot. and somehow she still apparently assumes that a government agent can just answer all her questions and spill all secrets, and then she gets huffy when he doesn't? I get it that it sucks being dismissed by a friend, but at the same time they're not interacting as friends there, but as representatives of their respective organizations. I can't assume my doctor friend would spill all the info on her patients just because we're friends, exactly like I wouldn't tell her private info about my students. sometimes a person's job does come in the way. and Claire should be clever enough to know that and not just get pissy when she doesn't get what she wants.

and even bigger issue is the ending scene. it starts off so nice, all joking, and then when Leon says that he thought he told Claire not to do anything stupid while clearly in on the joke, Claire suddenly goes all "HEY I'M JOKING"?? yeah Claire, we know, everyone knows, but suddenly she decides to flip a switch and go from joking to angry.

and the "when are you going to stop treating me like a kid" line? it's just blatantly wrong. in re2? they don't even spend that much time together but when they do, they clearly treat each other as equals. in Degeneration? another character dismisses Claire and Leon immediately jumps in to defend her and let them know how capable she is. he and Claire talk about different paths, but in no way is it ever even hinted at that one of the paths would be better or worse than the other. there's never ever been anything but mutual respect between them. and I think it's a huge disservice to both to just dimiss that.

AND the infamous Chip of Destiny™. again, Claire is not stupid. she should know that the conspiracy goes deeper than just Wilson, and just exposing him will drive all the rest of the bad guys deeper underground where they'll be impossible to find. and even more importantly, exposing that information would paint the most ginormous target on her back, she'd be hunted down. and while that might be a risk she's willing to take, she also should respect that it's not something Leon is willing to do to her.

(I'm not saying Leon is blameless in that scene either, he could've spelled it out for her, like he did to Shen May earlier on. he could've at least tried to explain his side. instead he just clams down and makes things worse. I understand his motivations, he thinks he can dismantle the corruption from the inside (erroneously as we know but he's operating with way more limited info than we are) and he doesn't want to put Claire in danger. but damnit boy, open your mouth and say it, if not in that many words then at least some vague version of it!)

so yeah, I think that sums up my biggest issues with Claire in ID. she clearly is bright and can use her brain but then she has a couple of moments where she just. doesn't. for some reason. and how she's so needlessly antagonistic. she's always been ready to throw down if necessary, which I've always loved, but she's never snapped at people like she does at Leon in ID. it's like she's intentionally trying to be mean and I just can't fit that into my perception of Claire, I can't.

with all that said, ID is still one of my favorites of the animated RE movies (yes it's a movie lol), it just bothers me that they did this to her. she deserved better!

[honey-dont]

Despite reading all your posts abt it I still have no idea what Bigtop Burger is skfkskdk HOWEVER I would still like to hear abt your StEx AU :]

YAY ty for enabling me <3

(it's an animated show on youtube and it's super good!! it's about Totally Normal™ rival food trucks except one of them is run by an alien clown who was banished from his home planet for getting stage fright during a production of cats the musical and the other one is run by a 1000-year-old zombie bounty hunter who is also italian. there's only about an hour's worth of content between all the current eps/songs and it has me grasped by the scruff of the neck like a misbehaving kitten)

sticking this under a cut bc my god the rambling

just focusing on zomburger rn bc they're my beloveds <3 they're a short-line freight train!

-

cesare is a converted oil-burning steamer who used to be a passenger engine once upon a time before getting stuck on freight duty. he's lowkey pissed about essentially getting demoted and goes out of his way to cause problems on purpose - he's extremely petty and WILL slow down whenever he sees a passenger train so they can't pass due to freight having right of rail! has a one-sided rivalry going on with renown tourist train 'the bigtop' (they're more baffled by his antics than anything else tbh)

he got a little fucked up during the conversion process so he'll leak oil from his eyes/mouth sometimes, it's gross </3 his crew doesn't really care tho since they're freight so they're used to grime

frances: were you guys making out again

doctor, face completely covered in oil: no

he totally does NOT care about his freight so what if he makes them sleep in his stall during bad weather so he can keep an eye on them to make sure they're safe it doesn't mean ANYTHING shut up.

(he also never turns his headlight off so his eyes always glow but that's not bc of the conversion he's just a weirdo)

-

doctor is a gondola! he usually carries junk/scrap metal. he'll do that social experiment thing where if you hand someone something while talking to them they'll take it without even thinking. you're having a conversation with him and suddenly you're holding a copy of the atari E.T. game

he'll save things that he thinks are neat or that the others will like! expresses affection by giving you garbage :)

is totally unfazed by the rotary dumper (it freaks everyone else out), very skilled at heckling coaches, and will eat human food (what is wrong with him)

-

conrad is a hazmat tanker and he wears goggles for safety :) why is a short-line carrying hazardous material? don't worry about it. he's v big and v strong and a lil dumb but doing his best! will pick up frances and doctor and carry them around sometimes

he'll also drink his load if he thinks he can get away with it (he is not sneaky starlight bless him). man chugs hydrochloric acid like powerade. kind of scared of humans, they creep him out a bit

-

frances is a transfer caboose and she's basically cesare's right hand man brake van in this scenario bc she's more than happy to be a nuisance!

cesare: FRANCES HIT THE BRAKES WE NEED TO BE AN I N C O N V E N I E N C E

frances: on it boss (saluting emoji)

she was converted from a flatcar (she still has the lil fangs) but she generally tends to get along better with coaches (loves her boys tho). she LOVES having passengers bc she thinks humans are super cute <3

she'll hack into other train's radio frequencies and eavesdrop/interrupt/pass along the hot gossip to everyone else. she'll also tune into stations and sing along to songs sometimes (cesare will tell her to cut that shit out and then 3 seconds later ask if she can get anything italian)

-

last random cute thing before i am forcibly dragged off stage!! freight naturally have black nails so they all paint theirs blue to match with cesare <3

[disabled-stuck]

HI ITS ME CHRONIC PAIN ANON BACK AGAIN... here's my thoughts on who of the human cast is Aware That They Have Chronic Pain Issues. srry ppl were discussing and im like, Wow, Time For Me In Hc Central

june's issues start to really develop and get bad post-game (in my headcanons), so for a long period of time she literally has no one to talk to about it bc she's self-isolating. she eventually tells nannasprite about it when nanna is guilt-tripping her into getting up (nanna voice: Whatever works, hoohoo!), and nanna is like. this is my only granddaughter. i will do whatever i can for her. (i love june & nanna's dynamic. could u tell.) jasprose also is like GIRL!!! You Are In Pain!!! nanna & jasprose team up of the century to get june egbert to Acknowledge Her Problems

dave NO clue NO idea WILL not talk about it. maybe EVENTUALLY tells karkat about it but i don't think she ever seeks out a diagnosis or tries to get one. hes got old ingrained trauma about seeing doctors, which is something he's trying to get over, but like, he already has 4 bajillion other things to unpack about his childhood and healthcare systems are not historically good about chronic pain, a dismissal of their symptoms might set them back in that regard. they're just homebrewing this shit for now.

rose: yeah, she knows. she doesn't talk about it in those terms, though. instead of saying "i have a horrible migraine and cannot get out of bed" she tells kanaya to text the gc that she's afflicted by the Broodfester Woes and cannot join them this evening. theyve sort of picked up by now what that means but she thinks it's funnier this way.

jade: HMMM. i think she put herself through her denial paces but actually i think going grimbark essentially caused her to not feel her chronic pain (a side effect of condy's semi-control over her body), and when she got shunted back into her body she had to face the reality where she DIDNT hurt all the time like wow thats how ppl normally feel? what the fuck????

jane: oh absolutely fucking not does not know. unlike jade, his pain got WORSE during crockertier. yet it still takes literally two decades for him to finally acknowledge that his stuff is NOT normal and the fact that her whole friend group has chronic pain doesn't help, which kind of sucks. jane voice: well sometimes i can get out of bed when i have a headache and rose can't, so clearly its not the same (as if jane doesn't force himself out of bed even when he really shouldnt!!!). roxy has to be the one to tell him.

roxy: yeah she knows it's chronic pain. she's been worried about getting cirrhosis for years, and so has been keeping up to date on her physical health as a result. she figured it out pretty quickly after a couple flareups. trickster mode made it worse for her.

dirk: hal has been telling him for YEARRRRRRRRS that his carpal tunnel is just that, carpal tunnel. and yet. AR: Dirk, if you do not take better care of yourself, you are never going to be capable of building me a body of my own. TT: 1. I'm fine. 2. I'm not building you a body anyways, so the point is moot. anyways he accepts it during the game bc he's like you know what. might as well admit it to myself. good thing, too, because it only gets worse after a couple decapitations.

jake: has pretty much always known, deep down, but like. she lives on an ISLAND. the hell is he going to do about it? no, better not to think about it. someday they'll be able to deal with it, but that day isn't today, and theres so much to do. so he represses it DEEPLY. normal action hero jake english doesn't have chronic pain, of course. she's a heroic manly lead, after all... (the deconstruction of that mindset sort of makes them acknowledge it, though.)

ANYWAYS I JUST RAMBLED AT YOU FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS HOPE U HAVE, A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/WHAT EVER

YYAYYY no you're so good nonnie thank u forever and ever

[huraiyra]

sorry for vent posting guys you can scroll away really fast now. if youre reading this please be advised I am using a metaphor I am fine lol

but damn I do not feel like a person. I've been this way my whole life and as a teen I thought I had dependent personality disorder bc I just wanted others to make every decision for me and I would ask permission to eat or watch TV or use the bathroom even if I didn't NEED TO and people would be like why are you ASKING. and as I grew up I realised that my fear of making the wrong decision and ruining my life for myself was so stupid. I used to think if someone else ruined my life it would be okay bc at least it's not me. and others know best. but a decade later and I feel like a fucking dog being paraded around to show off its obedience and it gets disciplined when it barks and when it makes a decision against its owner it gets its leash tightened tighter and tighter till it feels like it might die. and I can't escape it. my dependence is self imposed but I can't survive on my own and maybe I learned how to think and eat on my own but I fucking suck BUT I'M WILLING TO TRY but there's no way out. I'm stuck here. what am I without my mom to control me. I'm afraid of leaving I love my home I just want to be taken care of but this leash isn't comfortably snug anymore it's starting to hurt. if I stay here there's no way I can fight them. some day they'll hold me down and have me married and then someone else will hold me down and... more imminent, soon I'll be shoeholed into another career that will damage my body again. my mom says the damage is my fault and if I cant do it I'm a worthless idiot who should die bc life is pain and that's final. but today my doctor said there's no reason to treat me for weak legs that can't stand and a brain that's spasming and making me want to off myself if I can just... quit the job that's making my body do that. how revolutionary. I'm crying freaking out bc all my parents tell me is tht theres no way out and I have to work jobs I hate bc work sucks and thats how life is and why did my doctor have to give me hope? but if I'm a dog what decision does the dog have. I don't know how to want. I don't know how to be interested in things. my depression doesn't let me like anything and bc of this I'm being controlled. maybe if I wanted something I could do it but all I want is comfort. as long as I crave only the comfort of my bed and the softness of my mother's arms holding me I have to deal with the leash. it's not a bad deal but by fuck I should not deal with this any longer. I can't force myself to leave bc I'm unemployed and psychotic and living alone—even my brother knows I'd fall into pieces from lack of money and general insanity. what the fuck do I do. I like being a pampered puppy but I'm a human and I need to accept it. no matter how psychotic I am, no matter how I've never believed I am a human, I am. my autism says I'm scared of other people and only my mom halfway gets me and I just want simplicity and depression says stay in bed and my health says I have no future and my psychosis says stay in a small ball or else everything will hurt you and my family says I need to listen to them and life is only pain and I need to embrace pain and shut the fuck up and do whatever they say or else. but I need to survive. I can't keep doing this. what do I do? dog on a leash... I can't make myself cut through it. can someone else do it please? I want a different owner. but I don't think any owner is going to be as comforting as my parents. their (prev physical and lifelong psychological) abuse is mixed with so much love I still doubt it's abuse even though I know. they've loved me as much as they're capable of and they do truly take care of me. I need to be my own owner but how the fuck. every few days I cry and want to die to end all of this bc the worst part is that after I get away from them all my problems will be worse bc I'M the problem and my parents love is the only thing keeping me in one piece. I'm a dependent pampered dog that can't run away and can't handle a leash. I just keep ruminating and ruminating and I can't do anything. what the fuck do I do?

[pascal-oswell]

20 questions for fic authors

i saw ur tag in the morning when i woke up nessa and then i completely forgot. BUT THANK U FOR THINKING OF ME!!!! i don't really want to tag anyone bc its a bit scary. but eros and duo if u see this... perhaps this might interest u to do it

1. How many fics do you have on ao3?

46 ! and maybe like 20 which existed on ao3 at some point but got deleted by oj for one reason or another.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

96 365... the oj does not write long things

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly project moon these days. and mostly limbus bc (inferno pink grabs me by the throat)

if i didnt feel like it was pointless id probably write for a larger variety of stuff bc the oj brain is full of self insert stuff. but it doesnt rly matter

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the wine on your skin (137) gonna shrimp myself over that one bc it was my first and probably shittiest smut. but its smut in a large fandom (fire emblem) so it attracted people i guess

yeah dante's fine. what do you mean they're at -45 sanity you're lying (132) IM GLAD PEOPLE LIKED THAT ONE it was a lot of fun. and nice people cared about a dante centric fic with abnos:) (but also still mad as hell over that thing with the guy taking one of the concepts and clearly saying it was from another fic while categorically refusing to actually name it lol)

do NOT wake the manager up. YES they fell asleep on the job but they're REAL comfy right now do NOT disturb them (117) i can't tell if people get attracted by the funny titles or bc they see there are more characters besides faust and dante. bc i know people are NOT coming for them.

i'll always be there (104) a short manuleth fic... im glad there are manuleth likers out there. that professor loves that doctor ok

and they'll fall in love with her again and again (88) people liked the exploration of IDs... its kinda debunked now but it was still fun

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I USUALLY DO unless i find the comment weird. but if its rly weird i usually straight up delete it lol but otherwise i reply to comment if only to thank people for taking the time to leave one. its a tough world out there for attention starved writer

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

id argue the angstiest i have is one of my deleted ones where i straight up killed a char and the fic was all about everyone else's grief it was depressing lol otherwise theres the obvious silver snow edeleth angst but its kinda whatever. the backward clock chapter of the dante abnos fic was rly good imo. the nothing there one too. the inferno pink confession fic too.... ough...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

SCORCHED GIRL & ANGELA FIC GOT ME FUCKED UP MAN. FOUND FAMILY BETWEEN THE FUCKED UP LITTLE GIRL AND THE ANDROID

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nah. thank god i dont i think id nuke my ao3 on the spot i already explode over weird comment

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i smack my faust and dante dolls together

i used the be rly scared of smut now im a free little oj. it gets horny sometimes but also im rly vanilla so its usually very sweet.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i dont. i should sometime though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW I THINK ID NEVER WRITE AGAIN OTHERWISE

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nay

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no and i dont think i could oj needs to write her thing in peace. art&fic stuff are rly fun though.. oj likes when duo art inspires her or oj text inspires duo...

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ALL TIME IS A TOUGHIE the ships come and go guys cmon. rn inferno pink is all the rage though. and me with all the ladies i like

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

funnily enough i dont rly have wips bc i only start things when im REALLY motivated and i usually dont write things long enough that id drop them mid way. so none

16. What's your writing strengths?

being straight to the point maybe. idk. i mean my whole style is about short sentences and descriptions and just giving enough to get the feelings and vibes and idk. like i dont spend a paragraph talking about the weather thats not my style.

i like to think im good at sounding like chars too. if its the chars i like at least. or i hope at least. maybe its all in my head.

17. What's your writing weaknesses?

im rly bad at writing things that require more description... stuff that i cant just move on from or write by sprinkling lil actions between dialogues... like say. a fight scene. im rly bad at it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean if the char actually speaks in another language usually and mixes it with the translated language or whatever sure. itd make sense i have no issue with it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

long ago i wrote stuff for shin megami tensei 4. but i think even before that i wrote lil danganronpa drabbles that never got posted anywhere. also technically i wrote a story about vocaloids for an english assignment in middle school. does that count

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

idk if its a favorite but im like. rly fond of "hello doctor, it's me again. i missed you." bc its the fic i probably put the most effort in. longest and multi chapters and like. id started writing it two years prior to when i finished it and id written like. a chapter and a half on paper during breaks in college and never did anything with it. and two years later when i was sorting my stuff i had these papers and wanted to throw them away so i was like ill type this out on puter at least before that. and then i ended up motivating myself to finish it and i was rly proud of it... oj is still rly sad it didnt get that much attention in the end.

otherwise oj rly likes her angela & abno fics:) shes happy with them. and also stuff ive written for duo! i think its cute and i had a lot of fun with them

[bisluthq]

ugh nat i need help. i totally cant get over swiftwyn, like ever since they broke up I’ve been more heartbroken ab it than I think they themselves are lol. Idk I think it’s just that they were such a perf couple and they seemed like such soulmates. like all the music she wrote for and with him, the way they looked so good together, and just the fact that they seemed so emotionally connected on so many levels. like they’re still my couple goals if I’m being honest lmao. idk I just can’t get myself to be happy over TK bc I’m missing swiftwyn. Like it’s literally just so sad. their relationship is literally my Roman Empire lmfao

honestly i think i need to separate myself from tay but like i love her music too much and it doesn’t help that i know the lore behind all of her songs. they were just the dream couple and i soooo wish they were still together

not to be one of those “love isn’t real” bitches but like that’s how I’ve gen been feeling for the past 6 months

idk i think it’s all the fact that I don’t know these people and will never receive closure because I’ll never know what happened. but idk it just hurts me on such a deep level for some reason lmao

pls help, even if you can provide any advice or closure would be appreciated like i feel crazy and don’t know what to do lmao

Okay SO I think you've analysed it very correctly - you're mourning something that existed in your head and it's difficult to get closure on something that's not yk real. For Taylor and Joe, breaking up was the result of falling out of love (which is normal but sad). For you, you're having to break up with Swiftwyn without ever falling out of love with them because, as you rightfully point out, you don't know them and weren't involved. You loved the concept (that's all other people's relationships can ever be if we're not somehow caught up in the middle of it). You don't have to stop loving the concept. It's not that different from idk The Doctor and Rose together or Meredith and McDreamy or idk that gay Supernatural ship.

So my advice is take a deep breath and allow yourself to still like them as a ship from when they're together. Them being broken up in 2023 doesn't mean you can't imagine 2016 them when Delicate comes on (if that's what pops into your head), same as you can picture Jake and Taylor when ATW plays and same as you can rewatch episodes of your favourite ships even when the couple later breaks up or idk the show ends.

Because we're operating with the concept, not with real life.

Now here's where it gets tricky though. We are liking concepts but dealing with real people - that's where liking celeb couples gets weird. So while it's perfectly okay to listen to Delicate and imagine the dive bar or look at the potato quality pap shots of them or whatever, what's not okay is harassing them or the recurrent "DAD COME BACK" jokes (which mostly stopped now that TK is around, which goes back to how this is concept not real life). Because like... they're real people who just got over each other and that's sad and I can't imagine dealing with my own issues and having strangers "mourning" it for me or telling me who I should date next. People are mad weird.

As for "love isn't real" - well, Hollywood love isn't really. The Notebook doesn't happen irl. I mean read this interview from Goldie about Kurt. Kurt and Goldie broke up/took separations in both 2000 and 2004. Then they realised that even though they pissed each other the fuck off, they're better off staying together, and here they still are now. One day, maybe they'll take another separation and stay apart after that. Who knows!?!?! NOT THEM. So certainly not us. Love is incredible and magical but it's also going to have ups and downs and require work and compromise and if the bad starts outweighing the good then it's time to find something else.

[metacrisisdoctor]

What's the turning of the tides?

i've never heard of it.

It sounds godawful though.

it's a short story that jenny colgan wrote in 2019 for an anthology book which featured stories about each doctor and their companions. she wrote a story about tentoo and rose where rose is pregnant and some weird shit is happening so someone asked for the doctor and she says he isn't there. then it does weird flashback type things where she tells him to choose a name bc she can't call him doctor and compares it to picking a name for a dog. she shoots all his choices until he chooses "corin" and then he goes by that.

in their time in pw (two years iirc) they moved to a small town and live on a quiet street. corin is a family practioner (a doctor hahahahha right?) and rose is going to school to get a diploma in child care???

in the end idk whatever smth is happening and rose is yelling at him because he can't remember much??? about being the doctor and these aliens??? but thennnn she gives birth to their baby and she has an epiphany that even tho corin is a different man she has fallen in love with him. after she gives birth. she realizes... After..

and keep in mind this stripes rose of being defender of the earth entirely.

it's a complete insult not just to tentoo, who is very adamant about being the doctor, just lets rose walk all over him- but also to rose and to her development AND HER CHARACTER AS A KIND PERSON.

it's just so bad.

the story isn't canon to me because canon on doctor who is really tricky. nothing is really FULLY SET canon except things confirmed by the show (essentially, the eighth doctor made big finish canon when he mentioned charley before the 50th) but comics and books are sort of... wavy canon because the bbc does not confirm or deny anything.

now, to me canon lies with rtd when it comes to tentoorose. they're his characters. his say is the truth. all rtd has ever said is that they're happy and that in his head they have the new tardis. ("the doctor in the tardis. as it should be."

(and their scrapped spin off called "earth defense" which eventually became torchwood so we can assume they work for unit/torchwood in rtd's mind)

this story goes against these things.

what i know is jenny colgan joked that rtd is not allowed to read tot because it would upset him. aka she knew it was bad and he was not at all invovled in the process of it's creation so: it's simply not canon.

before the short story big finish did two tentoo audios set a year after journey's end. in these tentoo works for unit as a scientific whatever thing, you know. and he and rose are in an established relationship. the baby tardis is growing in his lab. they're told in the pov that jackie is calling a friend and it's so nice to hear about it from jackie herself. ok long story short, tentoo blows up big ben and then gets someoen arrested. jackie gets pissed off and feels like the real doctor wouldn't do that (lmfao!) and jackie also expresses being afraid that when the tardis grows he'll leave rose behind or they'll disappear again. the first one ends with them in a really bad place and not speaking.

the second audio starts with jackie talking about how she and the doctor tried to act normal but they kept arguing (jackie yelling at him lol) and so rose and pete decided to put them on a zeppelin together to work it out, essentially parent trap them into talking.

a lot of stuff happens and basically the zeppelin starts to crash and he calls unit and tells them to get everyone off the bridge etc and so this makes jackie realize that she always knew deep down he was still the doctor and that he was still helping people. they're about to die together and he breaks down and cries telling her he knows he messed up (blew up big ben and other things) and that he thinks he hates him and she says that she could never hate him and that he made their lives better etc. and he tells her he loves rose and that he loves her and how he realizes he's about to die and looks so scared and then he tells jackie they should jump before they crash into the bridge and jackie realizes that he is LITERALLY the doctor and that's essentially how it ends!

so these stories obviously do not align! big finish is canon, better, and came out FIRST. to boot RTD HAD APPROVED THESE STORIES, and they're written by someone who wrote on the sarah jane adventures which rtd also ran, which makes them canon because rtd approved them and they go with his ideas!

but for SOME reason. some fans decide to accept corin as canon instead of big finish. and it drives me INSANE. like why did you just read this painfully ooc and disrespectful story and just say "yeah, i believe this." what little understanding of who ROSE is do you even have to think this would be how it goes and how little respect you have for the doctor if you think he would let rose decide who he is or isn't for him? nahhhhhhhhh

anyway in 2021 there was a tentoo comic that came out that is also that sort of canon (but approved by chibnall who was showrunner then) and in this comic tentoo goes by john smith and the comics solidifies multiple times that he is the doctor. he and rose are happily married and have a daughter named mia. this story has similar bones to tot but it much more tender and respectful and overall very pleasing. so even though it's probably not meant to tie into the big finish audios, most of us think it's good enough that we accept it as a continuation.

anywy thanks for asking i needed to rant about something 😩

[spacestorms]

i don't think i have felt this overwhelmed and hopeless in years. i don't know what to do anymore and i have no one who can help me. i can't even go to a therapy appointment because im not allowed to speak for the next 2+ weeks because of my vocal cord issue which is Still not getting better. i genuinely don't know what to do. i'm having delusions i think. keep having meltdowns. there is something so wrong with my knee it hurts and feels warm and inflamed and popping all the time. my feet hurt my hips hurt my joints hurt. my WBC is super high but my doctor didn't tell me until i reached out 3 weeks later and found out they were supposed to tell me to go to urgent care immediately bc of it. but what would I even tell an urgent care doctor at this point. i get an MRI on Tuesday and more bloodwork to get done soon but i don't even have hope they'll find anything. im so scared. i can't stop crying when i am alone. there is something so so wrong with me

[noxiatoxia]

had another idea,, imagine super young hikaru and kaoru, maybe like 6/7. their maids are practically raising them, parents are never around. and while the maids do take good Care of them, they're not really that empathetic or gentle with them because,, they're not supposed to be parents

i think that due to the lack of parent like attention the twins act out to get it, basically harassing and tormenting the poor maids. so if the maids were kind to the twins at the beginning, they definitely keep their distance now because the little shits are just mean. really sad stuff because its a vicious cycle at that point, they act out for attention and in return get even less each time

anyway the point is that the maids try to stay as distanced from the twins as possible. and the twins don't really like or trust them either because they're so distant with them

so maybe one of them, could be either but Kaoru this time, wakes up not feeling well. its not too bad yet so when the maids check on them in the morning, they don't see anything's wrong with them

but hikaru knows and is really worried and scared. kaoru starts getting a fever, its probably just a flu or something, but that still scares little hikaru so badly because he doesn't know how to function with kaoru in a state like this.

typically, when they get sick it happens at the same time. and when they do get sick, the maids will take them to a different room, put them in separate beds so they won't pass it back to each other, have private doctors monitoring them a lot, refuse to let them leave their beds/go play/talk alone. basically their worst nightmare. (dont ask me why they're so overkill. idk. dealing with sick kids sucks i dont blame them+if something really bad happens to the twins they're at risk of getting sued for everything they have)

so hikaru and kaoru realize that if they tell the maids kaoru is sick, they'll split them up. kaoru will be alone in that room being monitored, since its only him who's sick, and they'll kick hikaru out so he'll be all by himself all day (or until they're sure kaoru's better, and they tend to be really cautious so he'd probably have to sleep alone as well) and neither of them want that.

cue tiny hikaru sneaking around spy style trying to get things for kaoru without anyone noticing because itd be a dead giveaway something is wrong if he was seen alone. trying to steal soup from the kitchen and extra blankets from the cabinets to bring back to his brother. as well as just trying his damndest to make kaoru feel better, all while being worried out of his mind about him

a lot of cute stuff could come from this i think

ANON THIS IS GIVING ME. .RABIES. ANON!!!!!!!!!!

I LITERALLY POG WHENEVER U SEND ME SHIT ITS BEEN THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK FRFR.... <- SOBBING AND WAILING

But!!! I love this!!!! So so so much!!!! Ok. I will be Normal about this.

Firstly, your idea is EXACTLY my headcanon and tbh I read it in a fic before but I can't remember which one it's been so long... but I 100% agree. I think as little kids, Hikaru and Kaoru would act out a lot and do all those nasty and mean things for attention. Since mom and dad never gave it to them, they tried to get it other ways and the only way they knew how to get people to pay attention to them was to be devious little bastards and cause trouble. Bad attention is better than no attention. And it's really sad too, cuz this just pushed people away from them in the long run. But theyre little kids, of course they didn't think that far ahead. And they probably aren't very conscious on why they do what they do either. They just know it's funny and that it makes people look at them, and so they do it. If they're lucky, they'll do something really bad that makes Mama Hitachiin come home and scold them so they can see their mom again

...that sounds pretty sad saying it aloud, huh

and the second scenario. i fucking adore. I already am a big fan of tropes of characters getting sick bc of the Vulnerability (it can also just be goofy and comedic sometimes) but with the little kid Hitachiins.... oh boy oh boy.

Because, Hikaru isn't nearly old enough to be smart about this. It isn't like now where, if he was tasked with having to take care of Kaoru, he could do a basic good job. Make sure he drinks water, check his temperature; he'd know when a high fever was too high, he'd know who to call if it got bad. But as a kid? He knows none of this. And who can blame him? He's just a kid; it isn't his job to look after his brother like a doctor would. He still takes on the responsibility anyways, because it's Hikaru + he doesn't want anybody impeding. In the situation you laid out, he sure as hell doesn't want to be separated from Kaoru or let Kaoru suffer alone.

So, he just... decides to take care of Kaoru himself! Can't be too hard, right?

Tbh, it'd probably go very badly. He doesn't know what kaoru should eat- soup? He's seen it on cartoons. He'd sneak him some soup. It doesn't even occur to him at any point to check his temperature to make sure it isnt getting critically high or make him drink water or cool his body temp down, bc what 7yr is gonna know that...

And sadly, since they've pushed away so many of the regular maids, none of them really notice that they're more quiet than usual, or that they see only 1 at a time.

And when it comes to younger kids, esp if they have a high fever, it can get really bad really fast (tbh i speak from experience form an Incident i suffered as a child). Kaoru is really sluggish and really not feeling well, and after the third day mark, he's not getting much better. Probably just getting worse. Hikaru is afraid out of his mind.

Being just a kid (and you know how kids are. not very bright. would rather do ANYTHING else other than the right option if theyre afraid of it) he probably tries doing research on whatever Google was like at this time period or looking thru the books in their library at home. He's still young, so he has trouble reading much of the complicated words and things he doesn't understand.

I think dehydration would definitely be the biggest issue, esp if Kaoru has an upset stomach and is getting sick. Combined with the sweating from the fever - yeah, hopefully he's drinking water. And I'm sure Hikaru brings him some. But more realistically, he's probably giving him juices and other things which aren't bad, but not as useful as just...water. And he probably isn't drinking enough, anyways.

idk how it would end........ realistically? I think some maid comes in to clean their room or something and realizes, oh shit, this kid is REALLY sick wtf how long have you been like this. And then they're calling like ER and shit.

Oh, and a final thought: dunno how realistic it would be, but I'm a sucker for the trope of when somebody is hurt/sick/other ailment and Nobody Believes Them which I think could be very likely here. Maybe Hikaru and Kaoru pulled a prank like this in the past. Maybe the maid he asked that day was just pissed off and wanted to go home. Either way when Hikaru breaks and does try to get help he's shooed off and told to stop messing around. Which if he didn't trust these people before, he certainly doesn't now.

[mushibashiraas]

🛒 I JUSR REALIZED HOW AWFUL AND ROBOTIC I SOUNDFJDJDJ LIKE. i come back after posting the ruggie fic and redoing my theme only to drop a to do list and dip againdjsjdjs ah. uh.

so life update ig? eh. i can talk more about my chronic migraines too since the life update is mainly about themfjdjdj oops. BUCKLE TF UP BC THIS'LL BE LONG (still dont know how to add the "more under the cut" thing on mobile tumblr. too lazy to get out my laptop)

this whole week has been insane! context: my migraines are triggered by bright light, loud sounds, motion-sickness-games (i.e. genshin, Identity V, etc.), weather pressure changes, rainy days/nights, storms, and dramatic temperature fluctuations..... but mainly the last four.

anyway. this week had the first and the second triggers. (and towards the end of this week is supposed to have the last trigger. yay!) one of the things that happens (IF i push myself to power through and "stay conscious" — more on that in a bit) is that i faint. like. not "faint for a couple minutes." nahhhh! i go out for like 10-40 minutes; normally the max is 20. but occasionally, a 40 minute episode'll occur and those are the scary ones.

on tuesday, i had a doctor appointment with my cardiologist pertaining to said migraines and fainting. while waiting to check in, i passed out and fell (i was standing at the time). and the staff and nurses were worried i hit my head so they called for an ambulance to drive me across the street to the hospital ER. i was there all afternoon and almost all night. i finally went home at 11pm. i'll spare yall of the more personal details (what tests were done, the overall experience, etc). all i'll say is that there's a reason why i hate hospitals and needles.

but the visit was long and tedious and terrifying and painful. i cried several times, as well as fainted a few more times between when i came to just as the paramedics arrived and a little after the technicians performed EKGs, etc. [like they usually do whenever someone is first admitted to the ER]. those fainting episodes were only a few minutes tho. not long at all. don't worry!

*sighs* anyway. that visit defined my entire week tho bc i ended up missing a day of work on thursday and a korean language class on wednesday. still felt the usual symptoms (most likely the aftermath) like dizziness, nausea, a heavy, sluggish feeling, soreness/headaches, loss of eyesight, etc.

hope this explanation helps??? i'll get back to writing and gaming soon. aaaaa i have a guaranteed yelan to get ready for anyway. heehee

EDIT: i forgot to add that yall shouldnt worry too much! sorry if i scared yall! these migraines and fainting episodes aren't manageable yet. even tho i can go to work sometimes, i cant drive, take horseback riding lessons (i used to take them), and go to/continue college,,,, i've had them since 2013?? 2014?? and am on medication for them as well as going to a neurologist and cardiologist who are both monitoring my condition and trying to help me and get them manageable so i can do all the aforementioned things i said i can't do.

also, it's not as uncommon as i seem to make it to be. several celebrities (look up Ben Affleck migraines) have chronic migraines, as well as several families/people/co-workers also have or have dealt with chronic migraines and passing out due to them. my own mom and older brother — altho they aren't biologically related to me — also have bad/chronic migraines. my family actually make jokes about my migraines and say i'm a walking barometer lol if anyone lives in the northeastern U.S. text me and check if a storm is coming. lol i can most likely tell you; if i migraine than yes. if i don't than no. lol /j but all jokes aside,,, again. don't worry too much for me. ok? i'm still functioning even if it's at low-HP/hu tao levels (a little genshin/gamer joke/comparison for yall). i'm still shino/em, someone who is so in love with jamil and xiao and rindou that they'll devote all their time and resources to taking care of them. heehee! ❤️❤️

[mlmxreader]

Hey, so hum.... Gonna have a little rambling here but... Yeah

I wanted to thank you

For obviously helping peoples in need, spreading their voices and making sure they'll be heard, making sure others don't stay blind at what's happening around the world, thank you.

But I also wanted to thank you for your writings.

I think it's been 2 years that I follow your works and it helped me SO MUCH.

It helped me with my dysphoria a lot, being able to read things with gn and male reader was so difficult ( and even if more are made nowadays it's still fucking rare)

But just the tenderness, the angst, the intimacy of your fics!

I just struggle with people a lot ( I learn with time that social norms are a mystery to me and I struggle to understand them and people struggle to understand I CAN'T do a lot of what I should in social setting) so it brings me a lot of comfort and I know virtual and real interaction aren't the same but when I have a bad day and it's the only form of ''feelings'' and interactions I'm physically and mentally able to handle it help me so much

Thank you

And being able to accept myself for my health problems ( physical and mental) was also a big step for me ( even if I still have a lot of work to do)

I mean, I'm diagnosed for a quarter of it but I don't need to be a doctor to understand some things aren't healthy with my body and that I'm clearly not neurotypical ( but when you go to a doctor and every problem you mention they says it's your weight the problem when you told them it's a life long promblem of yours and you fight with ED since childhood you don't really rely on them anymore)

And when you try to talk to people and the only thing they tell you it's '' your crazy '' or '' you scare me '' ( bitch, I'm the one living with myself) I'm.... Yeah....

So thank you

So much

I'm sorry for the rent and all but I just had this kind of realisation yesterday reading your writing and having a meltdown about it lsjhsbdjf

So yeah, thank you a lot, I know people got a hard time rb posts like they paying for it but what you do means a lot to me and I'm sure a lot other peoples

Thank you a lot, stay hydrated and safe 💚🌿

a VERY good evening to you!!! please, feel free to ramble & rant to your heart's content, honestly!!!! <3

thank you for the kind words <3 I do try my best!!

I am... I'm going to cry, to be frank, that is absolutely WONDERFUL that my writing has been a help to you!!! I'm absolutely humbled & honoured & delighted!

I totally get you, tho, tbh. social interaction can be REALLY difficult & having to pick up on societal norms is EVEN MORESO!! so I totally understand where you're coming from!!! again, I'm very flattered and honoured and grateful - thank you <3 I'm also really proud of you, tho, ik sending an ask like this takes an incredibly amount of courage to do so when you struggle w interaction, and I am really proud of you for that 🫂🫂🫂

listen, we've ALL got work to do w mental health and that's alright!! I'm very glad you can accept yourself for your problems, tho, that takes a LOT of effort and time and you should pat yourself on the back for it mate bc you should be WELL CHUFFED that you got this far!!!

absolutely, tho, I mean, it's YOUR BODY, you know better than anyone else in the world what goes on inside of it and what's happening to it - Dr's who refuse to look for anything EXCEPT weight, tho, just shouldn't be Dr's. it's just fucked that we live in a society where fatness is consistently punished and demonised despite the fact that people are just naturally fat a lot of the time.

I mean, yk, I've been severely underweight for YEARS (ED as well) - Dr's never tell me that my weight is gonna cause me any harm, but if i was a little bit overweight? entirely different story, and it's fucking vile, so I don't blame you for not feeling as if you can rely on them, tbh.

yeah, unfortunately, saneism is a huge issue that we have in society - I've been there. I've had people ask me if I was gonna kill them, or if I was gonna become a serial killer, or that I'm AUTOMATICALLY an evil/reprehensible person... just for being schizophrenic. it's fucking disgusting, and it's even worse when you remember that there's no safe spaces for people like us (you & me), bc even online, people are just as disgusting, if not moreso.

but you are so very, very, welcome, mate.

please, don't apologise for the rant!! I understand it took a LOT of courage to send something like this, and I really do appreciate it 🫂🫂🫂 I'm glad I could be of service 🫂🫡

and thank YOU!! 🫂🫂🫂 you take care, now!!! <3