#and i cant imagine what it would be like to be loved like that :3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

candlesoul · 5 months

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sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined.

#a close friend of mine wants to prepare a gift for me and you can't imagine how painful it is for me #exactly what kind of heart do I have that when someone prepares a small gesture for me #it becomes a pain and a burden to me?#and what I call burden is actually this #I feel guilty #i will owe that person #like I don't deserve it #meanwhile i saw on tiktok someone crying because their lover lives in another city #and they was in airport crying together #and i cant imagine what it would be like to be loved like that :3 #all those wrong feelings sit on my heart and my heart suddenly starts to burn. A little kindness sets my heart on fire #i will say yes to her but still its painful #how much i want to be loved but it is too painful too me. i used to be in freeze mode all the time #agh #i will make gift for her too #my heart needs should update #i wish everything was differenr

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rendevok · 1 year

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your narumitsu art made me weep with joy and I heard you want more requests 👀

idk if this is the right place to put them but I think phoenix coming with miles to try on his glasses for the first time would be sweet :,) miles asking how they look and phoenix being just smitten. the good stuff

Dear anon… you sure know how to pick em! Things got very out of hand very quickly while drawing, and well. You inspired me to draft a comic! I didn’t want to make you wait long, so here are the sketches for the pages relevant to your request <3

Thanks so much, and hope you enjoy~! 💜

#narumitsu #wrightworth #we do love a good oh moment but i think beanix deserves something more like a sack of bricks. you’re fucked king!#if it’s not clear beanix is imagining ALL of that. like photoshopping the glasses onto memories #the glassesfication of miles edgeworth #also i can’t promise this comic will see the light of day because i’m VERY bad at writing these two despite what you might think #the whole time i was writing it i was like ‘he would not say do or think that. draw it.’ in a i-cant-do-any-better-rn way #still despite that this was super fun so THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE INSPO!!!#hope edgeworth enjoyers approve bc idk what im doing #thank you for your time if you’re reading this welcome to the prison of my mind <3 #rendoodles #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #beanix #fan comic #fan art #aa #anonymous #asks

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haunted-xander · 8 months

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Sone notes:

FFXI & FFXIV are excluded due to the nature of being MMOs- they are, quite literally, impossible to remake (And XIV is getting a graphical update anyway, so it's not like it needs one)

(FFXV & FFXVI are excluded for obvious reasons) (FFXIII/XIII-2/LR are also excluded for similar reasons)

By 'benefit from', I mean that the narrative/characters/world and general story experience would be enhanced due to modern tech/hardware and what they now do with it. For example, FFVII really benefits from the remake since there's a lot of things they can portray more subtly and delicately than they could in the OG (such as Cloud's hallucinations & memory issues and how other's react to it)

(And also for some of the older titles there are things in the writing that may have aged poorly- in a remake they could rework it to be more tasteful)

#i debated whether or not to include the xiii games #but while they are sorta old by now there isnt really anything in them that could warrant a remake #graphically they look fine and i cant think of anything that would need/be improved by a remake #(then again i have yet to play xiii-2 & lr so maybe but idk those are the ones ppl like more so i cant imagine theyd benefit from a rewrite)#anyway im curious what people would want and id love to hear ur thoughts/reasonings!#final fantasy #final fantasy 2 #final fantasy ii #final fantasy 3 #final fantasy iii #final fantasy 4 #final fantasy iv #final fantasy 5 #final fantasy v #final fantasy 6 #final fantasy vi #final fantasy 8 #final fantasy viii #final fantasy 9 #final fantasy ix #final fantasy 10 #final fantasy x #final fantasy 12 #final fantasy xii #xander rambles #btw i think vi is most deserving i think a modern retelling of the story would definitely enhance the experience

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femmeetart · 5 months

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Juliette is very good at hide and seek

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 4 months

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getting invested in your own au is so dangerous because sometimes you'll start wanting to make an au of your au, and you'll come to a tough split point decision where you have to decide if you do that Or if you just make your idea canon to the first au, because no one can stop you

anyways. i need to be physically restrained from touching lucky jumbo right now

#the cryptid speaks #lucky jumbo <3 #im at work rn ive been struck with such Fervor for this idea i took out my personal laptop at work to get on tumblr #do you understand how unhinged i am right now?? no?? let me elaborate: what if i made luke an oracle . a prophet #i was having thoughts about how much i love the doom and inevitably of prophets (you know everything and can do nothing to stop it)#and then ofc . luke carder my favourite inevitable doom blorbo #and Listen mc/hc already has stuff like watchers. it would be so easy. luke carder gets pulled into a new world with his fucked up code and #surprise! code swirls around him like a cloak like a mystery like a question he needs to solve #inscryption sings in the blood only He has and the eye of the mantis god is his now . im going MAD #i cant do this i wont do this it doesnt make any sense it ruins all my plans but my gods could you Imagine. Could You #i could . do smth . to the left tho . a lucky jumbo au .#you know im getting deep in it when im making an au of my au but Who Is Going To Stop Me #the heavens fear me and hell covets my handiwork #watch me snap my wrists and write this all in the two hours i meant to be doing my hw

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bmpmp3 · 30 days

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guy who feels a reasonable level of excitement about a vocal synth announcement voice: yeah so ive been listening to the virvox anniversary video (where the voice providers sing in-character) on loop for the past few hours imagining in my mind's eye what Kotarou's AI voicebank might sound like

youtube

#god that video is cute. the mixing is a little clunky but who i am to judge. i cant do much better LOL #specifically the pic for akashi.... hes so cute here. and i forgot how nice his vp's singing is #but anyway yeah listening to this year old tiny bit of kotarou's vp singing does make me realize...#you know i was struggling a bit for a second there imagining what an AI singing voicebank for such a character-y voice would sound like #because a lot of AI vocal synths aim for classically pretty and clean voices (especially in sv but also in cevio and such)#BUT now that im thinking about it. hes kind of a boyish equivalent of zundamon's voice in the sense that hes like #high pitched giggly and intentionally a little goofy and mascot-y. so i think i can picture it a bit more now... i am INTRIGUED #i think he'll be a really fun addition to a lot of peoples vocal libraries. he'd work for a lot of goofy and jokey songs i think #and if he's on a software i can use i'll probably put him on some emo shit LOL #because i love hearing cutesy idol-y mascot voices sing emo shit <3 #Youtube

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hella1975 · 1 year

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sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often #bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off'#but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting #bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her #like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around #like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life #but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met #and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM #like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him #but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years #& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite #he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs #he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house #he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent #or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one'#and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company #i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon #and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it #bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people #who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight #i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now #why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough #hella goes home #my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag

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pikbro · 1 year

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what if we kissed in freddy fazbears mega pizzaplex

#flora not being a glamrock is retconned bc whenever i imagine her interacting with anyone the setting is the pizzaplex so. boowomp #im not really into glamrock fronnie but ill make it work #anyways idk if flora and ivory would be 100% serious gfs but they definitely do like eachother and kiss sometimes #realistically i cant even make them canon bc ivory dies in 2007 and security breach takes place in like. 2060 or some bullshit #but if we disregard that theyre totally in love or whatever #btw flora is lesbian and ivory is unlabeled/sapphic. she doesnt know exactly what she is but she knows she likes girls LOL!#her parents and glamrock freddy r very supportive of them #anyways rambling over sorry for posting this at like almost 3 am #fnaf #fnaf security breach #fnaf sb #security breach #fnac #five nights at candys #fnaf oc #☆ my art #☆ my ocs

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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🍓

#i cant do a thing abt it but oh it hurts #and i feel bad bc i feel like he'd think im selfish?#i want him to be happy but cant i be hurt? cant i be sad too?#and i wont chase him. i'd never do anything like that. 9/10 if i dont *feel* wanted regardless of truth #im out of there bc i have avpd </3 #but i cling to him?? i mean in an emotional way. like i never put up walls in my mind to numb my feelings for him the way i do w avpd #why is he so different from everyone else for my brqin and heart? i mean i obvi i think hes amazing #but i dont get why my brain doesnt protect me emotion and feeling wise the way it does w everything else #how could he cross all of those boundaries and walls my brain has put in place?#this is why i thought i had found my person. but it gets tricky when i am not his person #nor do i think i can be whrn he's chosen someone else. (i get that i really really do and thats why it hurts sm)#but yeah i'd never chase.. bc like why would i? when i know he didnt choose me to give a chance to. i'd never be as arrogant to try to #think i could be worth a chance or that i could do anything abt it.#so even if it's selfish i hurt sm. even tho at the same time i want him to have what he wants even if it isnt me and never was #bc i do also think.. even if it makes me sound naive.. or actually maybe this is just how *i* feel #if u love someone sm and truly want to be w them u find a way to get there. which i wanted to do bc yeah.. i felt like he was my person #but it's just me. it's me alone in this room and i cant.. stay in here forever bc how is that a life? :(#so idk ig i'll hurt and ache and be in pain for a while. and hopefully one day be able to move on #but facing the world & future without him and not knowing if we'll even talk again is so scary and so hard :(#and like will *i* ever find someone who lights my heart on fire and makes me deeply feel and not being so scared i turn away from it?#the way he does... idk :(#i cant even imagine wanting anyone else but.. im alone in that feeling too so.. it is what it is it is what it is it is what it is

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smol-tired-binch-blog · 1 year

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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP

#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI #hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA #(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent #he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy #cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me #its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird #idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on #a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but #STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also #i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it #look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could #make me worse <3 I Want Him #and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3 #i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER #OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really #GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3

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cestacruz · 6 months

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Mmm Jeanne

#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore #jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write #we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote #was actually Her own book #jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life #marie reads to jeanne is my image #jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence #if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself #unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal #she can sign her own name ofc thats historical #she can recite the bible from memory iirc #i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream #like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO #anyway. now jeanne again but physical #oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life #i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different #but i just gotta confirm #but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that #when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair #sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part #and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like #but it still upsets her #not that she'd ever complain to people #you can probably get it out of her tho #unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year #war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh #my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc #actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...

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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years

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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

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southislandwren · 8 months

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ohohoho boy update. today at work it was just us doing cheese while everyone else pulled an ice cream order, and i was like hey if youre not busy saturday would you want to roadtrip with me? and i fully expected him to say no, but we are roadtripping to nebraska on saturday <3 <3 anyway what playlist do i put on in the car. do we trust him enough for get loose get looser

#music wise. i think maybe take a walk in the sun or normal music. not sure about glgl yet #i will probably put him on aux for at least half of the trip #(and when i say trip i mean like. 6-7 hours round trip. like we're not going very far for very long)#we're leaving at like 2:45-3pm and i get sleepy around 10 so not like a super good road trip for me #i told him that the way i plan trips was usually a long drive based purely off vibes but i would try to have an actual plan this time #and i asked him what time he would want to be home for work the next day since he works at 6am #and god he was so cute he was like 'i'll call off work on sunday so you can do one of your usual trips'#and yeah. sighh i am down so bad #and i HAVE to promise to be normal on this trip. i always get weird in cars late at night.#but theres Implications of him being in my car like 100 miles from home. so i cant do or say anything weird #like could you imagine being in a car with someone you dont like and they start being weird. like what the fuck do you even do.#but anyway yeah good day. he was very talkative today. and he is so cute sometimes i cant stand it #work is really fun when theres 6 of us and i can stand there while the underclassmen do all the work #boy post #oh and he said he was going to message that he was streaming skyrim but it ended up being boring #so that revealed some info. 1) twitch streamer 2) did think about texting me at least once last week 3) trusts me to know about his twitch #ugh. i would love to just hurry all this up but i have to be patient i have toooo #okay! off to take a disease quiz and then study some ice cream #talk to you later tumblrinas

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britneyshakespeare · 9 months

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i will never stop thinking about the winter's tale i will always be thinking about the winter's tale i will always be loving the winter's tale

#i will always be exiting pursued by a bear #tales from diana #text post #shakespeare #the winter's tale #for the longest time (and even still now) (but since i was a teenager) i used to say i had 3 firm favorite shakespeare plays #a midsummer night's dream / the tempest / antony and cleopatra #but ESPECIALLY midsummer and the tempest. and those two still are just. immovably special to me #i love every word in those plays i love every plot element. i love how they're two of shakespeare's original plots!#i love the imagination i love the metatheater i love the themes and takeaways i love the characters #but as i get older. alas i simply do not have three favorite shakespeare plays i have like 14 #also relevant to how i read the wars of the roses tetralogy years ago but i cannot stop talking about them in 2023.#i have to be honest. i LOVED those plays as i read them but bc i was like 'well they dont top my favorites' i didnt think of them *as* that #but really what is it to have a favorite anyway? a rose by any other name would smell as sweet #on my first readings. my top 3 were my favorites that i had ever read (altho i had only read so many by then!)#i have now read most of shakespeare's plays. most of the great ones are not so obviously far behind those which i felt a sentimental #attachment to at an adolescent age.#i really cant imagine what the tempest or a midsummer night's dream would be like to me if i read them for the first time now as an adult #i bet id still love them! id still find them breathless. i have always been in the habit of rereading passages from them from time to time #enjoying art from them and watching the occasional adaptation etc.#BUT ANYWAY. im really straying from what i was originally going to say now. wow i just realized how much i rambled #i was going to say that i only read the winter's tale last year. when i was quite familiar w shakespeare #but i hadnt been reading him as frequently as i had when i was a teenager. was reading other authors for the first time instead.#the winter's tale was the only shakespeare play i read in 2022 actually #and even in a dry spell for shakespeare i really enjoyed that.#and of course then i went back to other things. but the more time goes by the more i'm like wow. the winter's tale #it really does equal at least the tempest in my mind w how much i enjoy it #also hamlet. i've never thought hamlet was my favorite (though ive always really liked it)#but lately ive read several great plays w similar themes and thought wow this is so good it reminds me of hamlet #(or maybe that's bc hamlet was more influential than say the tempest... well whatever!)

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cherry-shipping · 10 months

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aaaooughhh. cook for me fictional other. fictional other. cook for me

#cherry chats #or just. get me food. pleeeeeeeease im asking so niceys #i didnt. get any food today Cause they freaking forgot me #which. shoulnt be a problem because im almost 19 i should be able to make food for myself #but. as it turns out. i canttttt #and anyway i like to imagine papyrus cooking for me because he loves cooking and i think making food is how he shows he cares 4 ppl…..#or one way at least #blegh. anyway im not gonna go full vent mode on here because who give a shit but. it also makes me feel so STUPID 4 not being able to do #like. basic stuff like feeding myself #so. i think papyrus would like making me stuff to eat and also encouraging me about it #also. hed be good at forcing me to eat in a way that doesnt make me feel bad #ive talked about this before but i feel guilty when i tell people i havent eaten in awhile so i lie and stuff…..#like ‘oh i ate not too long ago so im fine’ and then #‘not long ago’ means like. 3 days.#and it makes me feel guilty and makes other people worry and then THEY feel guilty cause they cant really do anything #but papyrus is cool and awesome and smart so he doesnt make me admit it out loud and he makes me eat stuff even when i dont wanna #but. in a way that doesnt make me feel bad either. hes a master of psychological manipulation But like good #like. i tried a new recipe and you HAVE to taste it and tell me what u think or ill look sooo sad and dejected ^__^#blarfgh. anyway -_-#i wish my cool awesome bffsie papyrus was here to make me awesome food

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magical-girl-04 · 2 years

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Am I aroace or have I just been awake too long?

#rav speaks #its 2am and im listening to a mix of twice aqourus and J-metal girl bands while questioning everything in my life #anyway do people actually feel the way they describe in romance songs??#like idk ive had like 3 crushes in my life but like i dont think i could actually see myself in a relationship?#so either im aro or like I just have trouble imagining a relationship becuase ive been single my whole life #its like how sex is pretty interesting to me and id be down for it in theory but i cant see myself actually doing it #interesting in a im curious if its really all that people make it out to be #cuz it seems prettyyyy boring to me lol #specially since lesbo sex apparently takes agessss and i know for a fact i would not let a dick get anywhere close to me #anyway off topic #im trying to figure out if the way i feel about romantic relationships is the same way i feel about sex #like in theory id love to have a gf and like do datey things but like it seems like so much effort to get to that stage #got a dating app and im barely on it because ive realised i dont really want to actually talk to anyone #and like i was meant to meet up with someone today who when i first started talking to on said app i was like kicking my feet and blushing #but i noticed that im starting all the convos and decided i was just like fed up of that whats the point of trying to get to know someone #if they arent interested yknow. like they were meant to get a bus to my city and i was hoping they would just like tell me a bus time #and we'd go from there but nothing. so im just like. over it #and i feel like thsts probably not really how crushes really work?#its like i had a bit of a crush on a girl in my classes but once exam season hot and i stopped seeing her so regaually i just kinda forgot #i think she might be in 1 or w of my classes this term so maybe talking to her again will relight that but im prettyyyy sure shes staight #so prpbs better to loose the feels anyway #this is just a rambling mess now i really need to sleep #Maybe I'll figure myself out eventually but for now im gonna stick with grey aro cuz i think thst makes the most sense?#unless there are other micro aro lables i dont knoe of (very likely)#at least i know I'll always be an asexual lesbian even if i dont know if ill ever actually date girls #honestly life would be so much easier if i jsut loved my bestfriend it wojld be so cool if we could be in romantic feeling together but #alas we tried dating for lkke a week and i avoided her the whole time cuz i felt a deep deep sence of wrongness lol #its like again in theory i could see us as a great gf duo like if i was watching our lives as a show id be shipping us #but in practice its njst wrong #if anyone actually reads all of this you get a reward of uhh 🦎 goodnight!!

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