#and i don't mean in a keeping up with the joneses way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tinydefector · 2 months

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Okay. You've got me invested on the newest installation of Human Effects.

Now I can't stop imagine both Humans and Mechs alike having some sort of Google Form where they click on the Human/Mech they want to fuck and see which is the most desired amongst their respective species.

Now that I think about it, I think there'll be a lot of fighting. And chaos.

But then again, we live for the drama.

Human Effects Lost Records

Wordcount: 1.5k

Warnings: talk of sex, human/alien, pornhunting

Masterlist

Lab logs

Did I take this as an opportunity to merge Human effects and laboratory logs together into a series yes I did. I'll be working on the human Effects timeline where human Effects 2 is spin-off pieces from the mainline.

_____________________

The Holo, cyber and inter webs had a strange beauty to them. It has given many the ability to communicate with different planets, species, to share culture, laughter, debates, videos And all sorts thanks to the many different satellites floating out in space. Everyone also enjoyed it for the use of downtime the most. Some had taken to enjoying Earth's entertainment platforms such as YouTube, Netflix and many other sights, others fell into more depraved sights such as Reddit, Twitter,Tumblr, Pornhub, interlink, Processed and other sights.

Commlink: post Humans Aboard BLO freight.

BigBotNoStop: Alright mechs, I come bearing an inquiry. As you may have heard from some of my last posts, the newest additions to our crew are a thriving colony of soft, squishy humans. Word in the taproom is some have taken quite an interest in... extending cultural exchanges, if you catch my drift. Not really my field of experience and was hoping some of Xeno's here might have some input.

Posted to Sublink: Human and cybertronian relationships?

But I'm curious, are interspecies acts even possible without harm? Their frames seem so fragile. One wrong motion and SPLAT! No more humans. quite a few members of our crew have shown interest in flirting... Thoughts? Suggestions for how to proceed with care- help a mech out!

Blazemech: Yo! You got fleshies on your ship! Fragging jealousy!. Your ship is looking for any dock workers?

TailOrTrails: Oh Primus, are we really having this discussion?? Look, I get the appeal of those soft little flesh bags. Really, I do - different wiring can be so freakin' hot. But there's no way a romp with one of those puny things ends well for them! Even accidentally bumping into a table puts them in the medbay. Think of the mess, One wrong thrust and you've got squish all over your plating.

ISOCLEAN: Just download some holofacing and use your imagination if you're that jonesing for an organic interface. Trust me, it's not worth the risk - or hassle of cleaning up after. sure you can find something from the Human sites on Mechanophilia, slutty Show and shine or Car Washes. Stay shiny and keep those servos to yourself, mechs! Some curiosities are better left to fantasies.

Flyboi69: Don't leave a mech hanging, I want deets!, has anybot here actually gotten friendly with a fleshie before? I'm talking about hands-on experience. We've all gotten curious watching, but has the real thing lived up to the fantasy?

Pimptheride: Any tips for coaxing one into the berth, or does their tiny size mean you've got to take it slow and gentle? And most importantly... any videos out there of the deed? A mech's gotta do some, ah, research before taking the plunge. Hook a brother up if you've found any good amateur organic-on-mech action out there in the 'net. Gotta see it to believe it.

ScienceSorcerer: For reasons. Does anyone know if humans have both Spikes and Valves? Or if they have any human anatomy holos or books and such from Earth they are willing to sell for some decent Shanix.

T-Wrexz: Primus, you mechs are hungrier than fragging scraplets. As far as I know, relations between our kinds are still uncharted territory. Could be amazing, could end badly - who's to say until we try? Personally I'm keeping an optic out, just curious to see what new experiences those squishy aliens can offer us tough metal mechs.

Bar-rizzla: Oho, look who's swapping tall tales. I've been keeping a close optic on our ships squishy company since they came aboard. And between you and me... I may have an in with their ambassador that could lead to some juicy first-hand intel. Just trying to track down the bot we think they are berthing with. Crews got bets out. Turns out they get just as curious about us big metal hunks as we are them!. The other night, their chat got particularly saucy after a few drinks. Lots of gossip and speculation about which lucky bot one of them might take for a private ride.

WPHAS-Violation: I may have a certain special "human entertainment" vid I could share. Let's just say the organic in question got quite... friendly with an eager mini-con. You know where to find me if you're brave enough to watch!

Tapemix54: Oho, mechs - think you've got it bad now? You should've seen some of the real deviants back before the war. When I was still stationed on Petrex, I knew this one smuggler - went by the name Rattler. Sneaky little scraplet, but Primus if he didn't have the wildest stories. Rattler used to run goods across time and space, dodging security at every turn. He'd pop up out of nowhere selling the rarest exotic "pets" to rich senators and other high caste mechs looking for a thrill. I'm talking aliens so bizarre even our data banks had never heard of their kind. But the highest bidder always walked away with a new "plaything" to break in, if you catch my drift. Word was Rattler even had a collection of sentient organics that he'd let special clients "test drive" between runs. Humans were apparently a favourite - their smaller frames could take all sorts of creative handling. Rattler had vids, too, of course, to entice buyers. I saw one once, let's just say "versatile" doesn't begin to cover it. Naturally the vids have all been scrubbed by now. But I bet if you knew where to dig in the deep web or some easily swayable Archivist, you might find traces of Rattler's stash still floating around out there.

T-Wrexz: Whoa, whoa, slow your intake there tapemix! As much as I love a good far-fetched tale, I gotta call scrap on this one. Humans weren't even around back then, much less roaming the streets of Rodion as black market pets, I'm all for imagining exotic interface scenarios, but let's keep the stories at least somewhat rooted in known history, yeah?. Last I checked it was probably fabricated by Caminus cartels to make their actual goods seem tame.

A few other mechs agree with T-Wrexz before a few kliks later a new post is put up.

Post:

"Old Iacon records saved of the Senator and his human Conjunx”

It's a file collection of holotapes and pictures: "Enjoy these are pre war photos of Senator Shockwave and his Human holding their sparkling"

There are many holos and videos of the long gone senator smiling with his human perched on his shoulder, in the crystal garden with a young sparkling held in the human's arms. Videos of the sparkling playing with the two but the last The last holo looks like a family portrait with Shockwave’s frame in a lime green blue white paint with gold accessories,�� his human lover is dressed in elegant robes and the small blue praxian sparkling held in their arms. Each holo is dated with the Iacon records seal of authentication.

FlyBoi69: NO FREAKIN' WAY. Is this real?! *downloads files faster than Blurr* FRAG ME SIDEWAYS, I think I just popped a gasket! How in the PIT did you manage to dig up the holos of senator Shockwave, most of his speeches, debates and lectures were wiped. Where did you find this!

Jackin0: of all mechs, with an actual human back in the Golden Age?!. I'm calling scrap on this being real. It's gotta be a flawless deepfake. By PRIMUS if true - to think ol' Shockers was living it up with a squishy. Maybe there's more to those Senatorial types than meets the optic...

T-Wrexz: Okay, I'll bite... but someone better explain to me RIGHT NOW how any of this computes! Last I checked, time travel and inter-species relationships were the stuff of erotic imagination, not legitimate pre-war archives. Tapemix, you better start talking. Where in the PIT did you source these files? How do we know they're authentic and not just an incredibly convincing parlour trick? Because if I'm gonna let these images ruin me, I wanna be ruined by the real deal! Spill it, mech.

Iacon-Records: Tapemix54 could i please request where you discovered these as i work with Iacon records and this here is history that needs to be preserved. I'm willing to talk with you through a contractor if you would be willing for us to add these back into the new hall of records. Cybertron has lost so much and to find something like this I ask that we find a way to preserve it.

BigBotNoStop: Pit take me now... I think I may have to reassess everything I thought I knew about interface and partnerships. That human is holding a sparkling curled around them - frag if it isn't the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! If anything could make me believe in miracles, it's this! Tapemix, you glorious glitch - how can I ever repay such an enlightening gift?

Tapemix54: These were filed only cycles after Shockwaves Emputra; they were added to the Iacon records by some Archivist under the title. 'I will Remember you for who you were'. This was right when the senate fell apart on the brink of the war. From my knowledge of information on Rattler he apparently had an outlier who he got to take them to different times since he was a shuttle made it easier to transport. That's from the records that still exist at least. I'll take you up on that offer Iacon-records.

________

photos in the collection

_____________

Let me know if you would like to be added to tag list (tagged for every fic)

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@kgonbeiden

@murkyponds

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#transformers #transformers idw #transformers x human #transformers x reader #transformers lost light #mtmte #valveplug

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nico-esoterica · 10 days

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How You Manifest > How Others Manifest

Reminder that you do not have to keep up with the joneses of how fast other people are manifesting or with what they're doing. You also do not have to adhere to their perspective, takes, or the terms they use, regardless of how much you admire them and their success stories.

This is why a lot of people moved past Neville. His approach does not appeal to everyone. And every technique isn't for everybody. I like Neville in bite sized quotes otherwise his Piscean ass puts me to sleep. Tbh most world-renown teachers bore me.

How you approach it in your mind is unique. Just because you don't see it anywhere doesn't mean you're 'doing it wrong.' Nor does it mean that you're 'never going to get it.' I remember reading this reddit post where someone said they flat out did everything you're 'not supposed to do', i.e, wavering, doubting, not believing in it, etc, and they still got everything they wanted. So any rules anyone brings up are just their personal guidelines you can ignore.

The most important thing is you don't change your mind. Even if you forget about it for months, if you haven't said it can't/won't happen and didn't leave the possibility open that it could, then it'll still pop up. Don't put ANY pressure on yourself to manifest how the community is doing it. You don't have to robotic affirm, visualize, feel your affirmations, have a routine, impress your subconscious mind, or anything which stresses you out and makes you think you have to do xyz or else you won't get it.

Think you're the shit. Don't change your mind about anything you want.

That is IT. And, my personal take, but you should automatically assume nothing or anyone is off limits for you. Not people, not trillions of dollars, not super powers, not bending time and space, nothing. From a mental health perspective, everything works and will always go your way and work in your timing if you say that's how it's working. End of story.

#loa #manifestation #law of assumption #tips #if i have to hear 'enter the state of the wish fulfilled' one more time #bc neville's sun or mercury aspecting his neptune just makes his rhetoric sound too theological and cultish for my taste. can we be honest?

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ladyofnegativity · 2 months

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Heeeeey Tiny-! Okay so...

AHHDLRGSKSVDKVXSKSBRKRB. BITCH. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT ACTUAL THE FUCK?!

How the hell did you make something so... SO-! ARGHHHHHH-! I CANT FIND THE WORDS-!!!

I'm blessed. SO FUCKING BLESSED.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU-!

Okay okay okay. So! I'll try to do a deepdive on the newest installment of Human Effects.

Posted to Sublink: Human and cybertronian relationships?

(I don't know why, but this bot reminds me of Skids. I've been reading the other installments, and so far, my hunch on this is Skids.)

Blazemech: Yo! You got fleshies on your ship! Fragging jealousy!. Your ship is looking for any dock workers?

(Okay! So, from the context of what Blazemech wrote, I can tell that they aren't from the Lost Light. Perhaps a crew member from the Vis Vitalis, or some other ship? I don't know, but the name 'Blazemech' reminds me of FireStar(?), but judging from context, I don't think she'll want to work as a dock worker when she's second in command in the Vis Vitalis.)

(Riptide. Definitely Riptide. 'TailOrTrails' reminds me of a mech who has an aquatic themed alt mode, and we, Riptide turns into a boat. And from reading the other installments, Riptide acts hesitant yet intrigued.)

(Honestly, I'm stumped with this one. I can't seem to find or remember someone who's a clean freak. Aside from Ultra Magnus, but then he wouldn't fit the mannerisms of ISOCLEAN. Fuck.)

(Tailgate??? I'm sorry, I REALLY don't know who this guy is. Could be Starscream, but it would fit with they way the text was worded.

I think it's Skywarp??? But then why would he be interested in humans???)

(Haha! I read the name, and immediately thought of Knockout. Not because of the text or anything, but I just remembered that in Transformers: Prime, the animators decided to pimp out Knockout, hence the 'Pimptheride')

(Brainstorm. The mech that started it all. I'm betting everything that this is Brainstorm.)

(Definitely Grimlock. The name gave it away.

I mean, do you know any other mech who has a T-Rex alt mode??? Yeeeeeah.

But what business does Grimlock have with humans??? To think that he'd be interested in humans in really funny to me.)

(Easy pickings. This is Swerve. I know it is.)

(I'm torn between giving this to Rewind or to Tapemix54. From context, I'd say WPHAS-Violation is from the Lost Light, but then what about Tapemix54??? Is Tapemix54 Soundwave???

👀 Who was this Minicon that got lucky... Hmmmmmm.)

(Fuck. FUUUUUUCK. Now I'm thinking that this is Chromedome because he was stationed in Pretrex with Prowl when they were sent to investigate the assassination of Senator Sherma.

For all I care, Rattler could have been Swindle since... Y'know, he was trafficking humans. Though, now that I think about it, would Swindle even be old enough to do that??? FUUUUUUUUCK.)

"Old records saved of the Senator and his human Conjunx”

It's a file collection of holotapes and pictures: "Enjoy these are pre war photos of Senator Shockwave and his Human holding their sparkling"

There are many holos and videos of the long gone senator smiling with his human perched on his shoulder, in the crystal garden with a young sparkling held in the human's arms. Videos of the sparkling playing with the two but the last The last holo looks like a family portrait with Shockwave’s frame in a lime green blue white paint with gold accessories, his human lover is dressed in elegant robes and the small blue praxian sparkling held in their arms. Each holo is dated with the Iacon records seal of authentication.

(Okay. Okay okay okay. I LOVE the fact that you decided to incorporate Laboratory Logs to Human Effects. Admittedly, I did not see that coming when I sent that ask. Smart move.

And uhhh... Now that a few mechs have seen the photos, wouldn't that mean that if they ever recognized a mech that looked a lot like Senator Shockwave's long lost sparkling, It'll further cement the fact that uhhhh.... Fuck. I think I lost the path.

Uhmmm... Think about it like this, when Ratchet sees the family photo and sees the little sparkling, wouldn't he recognize that it's Traxies?)

(Honestly though, I'm still not sure who this guy is. Could this be Misfire??? AHHHHHHH.

Who are you FlyBoi69?!)

(Jackie. Definitely Jackie. Ah! Sorry, I meant Wheeljack.

It's just cool to call him Jackie. ☺️)

(I REALLY think this is Rewind. Cause Rewind likes to collect rare footage.)

(Optimus. THIS IS OPTIMUS PRIME.

You can't get more Optimus than Iacon-Records.)

(Okay. I'm getting more and more convinced that this is Skids.

On that note, I like to think that whoever managed to see the photos are going to think, 'I can have a sparkling with a human'.

Which is cool, but then a bummer if they found out that Tiny didn't actually carry Traxies but was instead adopted from a hotspot when he imprinted on Tiny.)

(Okay. That mysterious archivist? Definitely Optimus.

...

But wasn't Optimus a police officer during that era??? Wasn't he working with Sentinel at that time???

And who's this mysterious shuttle??? Omega Supreme??? JDDKSJDLDHDKGKSGS.

And who's RATTLER?! So many questions and so little answers.)

Oh, and Tiny? I really want to thank you for humoring me. You have no idea how much help you've given.

And uhhh.... Yeah....

ACCEPT MY LOVE AND APPRECIATION.

꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ TINY ♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱

#tiny defector #miyi magines #transformers #maccadam #human effects

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gemsofthegalaxy · 1 year

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delicious watching people on reddit debate how wealthy Tom is, independent of Shiv

the fact of the matter is we simply don't know exactly and i mean. first off, they did not often say how much each person was making

they said, by the time of the finale, that Greg was making 200k as an assistant to the Global Broadcast Chair (although he was also called Tom's chief of staff at least once?)

Karolina was apparently, as PR, making "a million dollars a year" in s1.

But we don't know how much Tom is making during the show, or how much he was making prior to it. We don't even know when Tom started working there (unless im forgetting something)! I personally assume Tom has been working at Waystar for a while, and I have always operated under the assumption he was somewhere middling until he met Shiv and started getting bumped up due to nepotism.

and taking that assumption.... even as the kid of lawyers, it's not like NYC is a cheap place to live, and he'd have expenses beyond rent, not to mention keeping up with the joneses at his Waystar job.

I tend to think Tom managed to build an okayish nest egg prior to meeting Shiv, which has grow quite a bit since dating her and letting her foot the bill for the vast majority of their expenses, as well as the bonuses he has clearly hit along the way to get him from his "hong kong" job to Cruises, and then ATN.

i think people underestimate how much you can be making and still unable to save a whole lot, because managing money and lifestyle is fucking hard, especially when you're going out of your way to portray you're a "have" and not a "have not", which is something I think Tom would have been doing all this time

we saw in the first episode, the watch he buys for Logan is still far from the highest tier and he's very anxious over getting something he might like (and Logan instantly gives it away to the family they all fucked over, showing it has no meaning or value to him at all either)....

like. Tom has money. he's not fuck off rich the way the Roys are, either.

someone on reddit also was like "Are people forgetting when he taught Greg how to be rich? Tom’s loaded." like...... yeah, he's managed to work his way into this world and he can portray himself to Greg, who knows next to nothing, as someone who knows his shit.

....But Roman and Shiv have, on a number of occasions, made fun of the way he dresses from calling out the cut and style, to the labels on his clothes, and how "new" they look.

to me, he is, at the end of the day, still a guy emulating the "stealth wealth"/"quiet luxury" aesthetic in his 40s, not someone who was born into it. and the Roys aren't even fucking old money themselves, even though they, in turn, know more than Tom about being and staying and acting rich.

#tom wambsgans #succession #this doesnt have a point per se im just ranting #its funny how our own knowledge of wealth gaps is so fucking integral to how we interpret these bozos.

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shokudou-boogie · 1 year

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Update post #13: What up

I don't even know if anyone really uses Tumblr anymore, but here I am, updating you all with a text post.

A bunch of life events occurred that kept me away from writing. Going off of the last post too, it's been over a year since I wrote something.

It's also fun looking back at some of the posts that I've made. Been just reading some of these recipes and how they've been written or "photographized" and saying to myself, "I think I could have done these better."

I do feel pretty bad for being away for such a long time. After a few life events that have drastically changed my life (for better or worse), it sucks that I had to push this aside. This was truly something that I loved updating whenever I had the opportunity.

I mean, I wasn't even waiting for the opportunity to happen. Food blogging was something that I actually made time for. I just wanted to share with friends and family the things that I was making, and talk about why I wanted to make it, or what makes whatever I made special.

There was always something about working "in the lab" when it came to cooking, taking pictures, and writing everything for this blog, and it's a feeling I do miss terribly. But I've caught myself wondering WHY I did try to keep up with blogging.

Like, did I actually care about the food blogging community? Was there something that I was trying to get out of blogging about food? What exactly was I trying to do? This funny joke-turned-fun project for me turning out to be not so funny, and not so fun, because of "keeping up with the Joneses"

One phrase that I've been keeping in the back of my mind is that "comparison is the thief of joy" and wow did I start to catch myself comparing myself to literally everyone, even professional chefs. I don't even remember the last time I stepped foot in an actual restaurant kitchen, so why does it even matter? Has social media brain rot really got me that bad? Answer: yeah it has. I wouldn't call it embarrassing, but I'm a little annoyed that I'm realizing that way later than I wanted to. Trust me, I've had so many dishes sitting in the back of my mind, but no motivation to make anything because I kept asking, "well, what's the point? Who gives a shit?"

Turns out that I, in fact, still do give a shit.

And that's why I'm posting now. It's gonna take a minute for me to get back into the swing of things to keep everything updated, but even writing out all of this makes me feel like my heart is in the right place.

#update post

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mydaroga · 2 years

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I know paul's well off but as a fan of his, i cant help but be a bit depressed & irked whenever i come across people belittling him

Like have you even heard any of his songs???? Most of the time, they haven't / make assumptions based on either wonderful christmas time, ebony & ivory, and the frog chorus (which are songs that i think that really don't deserve that much hate)

He was one of the most successful artists from the 70s for chrissake

And the continual canard that McCartney’s ‘stock was low’ in the 80s…it’s not remotely true, either creatively or commercially.

He was a bigger star in the 80s than yer Kershaws, Haywards, Howard Joneses, yet they’re the artists now synonymous with the decade.

It’s questionable how much the public genuinely give a toss about ‘cool’. I think a lot of the ‘his stock was low at this point’ stuff refers to what the music press (ie, a tiny coterie of gatekeepers) thought.

... And because of that I DESPISE JANN WENNER AND HIS CRONIES WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

Hello anon! I assume you're referring to the conversation going on in @pennielane's blog about Paul's rep and how various of us grew up thinking of him. I am going to babble a bit on this general theme because I am not sure if you're asking anything or need my clarification, but since I'm thinking about it and because I don't shut up, I'm going to. I invite you to let me know if I'm way off or if you are just venting, which I totally understand and is a-ok.

I know it's upsetting to keep hearing this trope, but I also think it is interesting that a lot of us grew up with it and I like to interrogate why. I think you're saying that that wasn't really the feeling amongst the general public (and it's true that he sold well, was popular, etc) but just the music gatekeepers. And I think you're right, but the reason I find this interesting is that it definitely (in my experience) bled into the general tenor of the conversation.

Like, growing up in the 80s, not a Beatles or a Paul fan, I definitely absorbed the notion that John was cool and Paul was not. (Which is why my current status is wondrously baffling to me.) That came from somewhere and I wasn't reading Rolling Stone or Lester Bangs. But I've always been inquisitive and absorbed a lot of the general conversation in the culture, so I think to some extent, there was that feeling. I think this is supported by the fact that that feeling did and to some extent still does exist within half-informed circles like musicians I know and people who aren't maybe fans per se but know enough about the Beatles to know about and parrot popular narratives.

As a counter, I have friends who are NOT Beatles fans, know nothing about the general narrative but know who Paul McCartney is, who don't at all remember a time Paul was on the "outs" and say to me, "I don't know what you mean, he was tremendously successful, what reputation?"

But the thing is, both are true. He was successful. The idea he wasn't creative or good or whatever is a myth, but it's definitely a myth that was circulated enough that child-me absorbed it from the general atmosphere, and I'm not the only one. So the canard "his stock was low in the 80s" is also true, from a critical POV that had repercussions at least in the minds of folks looking on.

So you're right. The general public doesn't give a toss whether he's cool, which we know because he's been very successful. But if it was just a small coterie of music writers who gave him a bad rap, that rap got transmitted to a lot of us anyway, and that's been such an interesting thing to discover in this journey of mine.

As always, please ignore if this is not what you meant or irrelevant to your message, I just wanted to expand on what I think we're talking about so my apologies if I got anything backwards.

#kris talks a lot #beatles meta #paul mccartney meta really #anon asks #the ask box

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novoplata · 2 months

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How I saved RM250k in 10 years.

I haven't always been good with money. I've shared before how I only started saving consistently at 30 and how I used to have thousands of ringgits in credit card debts throughout my 20s, thanks to my nonexistent delayed gratification.

Nonetheless, upon realising that I was nowhere like the person I had envisioned to be at 30, I decided it was high time to pull my act together and clean up the financial mess I'd gotten into.

I started my personal finance journey in January 2014 with RM800 in my savings account. By July 2014, my total savings was RM16,000. This month, exactly 10 years later, my total savings in the said account has reached RM266,000. A total increase of RM250,000 in 10 years. If you come from money, RM250k may not seem like a lot. But I had started from scratch (the last time I received money from my dad was in April/May 2005) and I had managed to hit my savings goal without getting a loan, winning the lottery or having a sugar daddy. Therefore, I'm pretty pleased with this milestone accomplishment.

Here's a step-by-step of how I did it: 1. Don't be afraid to job-hop The first conventional tip for saving money is to spend less than you earn and save 20% of your earnings. Sounds fair until inflation catches up with you and you no longer make enough to spend, let alone save. Therefore, my biggest financial tip is to monitor the job market and hop around to get a better offer. I don't normally stick around at a job longer than two years. Not only does my attention span not allow it, but you also won't be learning much by staying at a place too long. Especially when there's no promotion and pay increment in sight. At the end of the day, you can only save so much if you're not earning enough.

2. Keep track of your spending As a mildly neurotic INTJ, I love having a tried and true system I can control and rely on. Budgeting (kakeibo) provides that element of control and order that I crave and it helps me keep track of where my money goes each month.

3. Monetise your hobby I am forever blessed that day I decided to follow my dreams and become a full-time writer. Blogging used to be my hobby back when my full-time job was being a lab assistant at a chicken feed factory. Thank God that I had enough delulu and moxie to quit my job and pursue a new career as a journalist.

Long story short, whatever your heart craves to do, find a way to get paid doing exactly that. And you'll never work a day in your life. 4. Forget the Joneses and focus on yourself Not only is comparison the thief of joy, but it also keeps you from hitting your financial goals.

I've made a point to mute some friends and celebrities who seem to 'inspire' me to spend money. I limit my big ticket purchases to once or twice a year and pretty much stick to a frugal/minimalist lifestyle all year round. I don't mind looking poor to not actually be poor.

Conclusion When I was younger, I only viewed money as a means to get an object I wanted, be it a new bag, makeup or clothes. These days, I realise that having money is more about accessing the freedom and choices that it affords. It feels comforting to know that I can quit my God-awful job if I want to because I can now afford it. It also feels comforting to know that I won't be a burden to others, as I won't be relying on them for money. Having choices and freedom (afforded by money) gives you a different kind of confidence. To me, that's my biggest motivation to hit my financial goals.

#life #work

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theblognobodyfoundlastyear · 10 months

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The 2023 Review: Misery until the end of the age

9 grueling months since the last post, huh? And this blog doesn't even show up in Google search results anymore, no less. As the struggle to stay alive and/or be an interesting romantic partner is as real as ever, let's get one thing straight: Times have changed, people have changed, I have not changed.

There, I said it. And this newfangled Tumblr user interface isn't doing any favors. Bleh. Anyhoo, the matter of the fact is that we've only become better at worrying about these !@#%ing "responsibilities" that you're obligated to achieve before you hit 30 otherwise you've officially become a waste of time and space. What do I mean by this specifically? Own a house. Get married. Have kids. Be financially stable enough so that your parents don't have to apply for the pension. Alright, maybe not so much that last one. But I guess we've finally become that boring Strong-Sad-esque person that nobody ever liked, constantly cheesing and choosing and never really achieving anything in life because we're so busy trying to balance the 5 plates that've smashed years ago and forget all about the new plates we're supposed to be juggling now.

Yes, it's a long way to the bottom of the leader board now. Some would even say that I'd be better off doubling down and forget about this whole "becoming a waste of time and space" nonsense and just ill-chay ut-oay. But that's always been the paradox, hasn't it? We're too stressed to relax, and we spend the time that could be used to relax thinking about things that stress us out. Man, how do all those 40-to-50 year old bozos do this? It's like we're supposed to be sad, homeless, unemployed and maidenless before we hit 35 in this era.

One thing that's always bothered me is that we've seen this come around again and again, something which promises purposes but perpetually disappoints every time. From good university grades to getting a jorb, one could say with 60-70% certainty that the aimless pursuits of adulthood are also like chasing the wind. So why is this even a conundrum to begin with? Perhaps it's always been a case of "keeping up with the Joneses", and more so something that everyone keeps pushing onto us at every stage of life - that you must be equal to or greater than your fellow countryman.

Contrarily, your fellow countryman might not reciprocate that same camaraderie and overtake your with or without remorse. So you have no choice but to fight, which should result in victory… hopefully. And so the rat race continues on until one of three things happens: You win, your fellow countryman wins or both of you lose. In all cases, somebody is going to have to become the stepping stone for success, even if that someone wasn't even considered as part of the original scope to begin with.

If one can never win, or more accurately win under a set of specific conditions almost as probable as winning by sheer luck, then why bother at all? Just relax, don't do it. Perhaps we can learn a little something from our fellow gym rats, in that they've accepted that they'll never be as big as they want to be yet they strive for that ideal anyway - almost as though it's in their DNA. What this could mean it's all a matter of perception - the horrors of having to face monstrisities like buying property or not donking up a relationship will always be there, but we can at least choose our approach to them. Do we cower in fear, dragging ourselves to the finish line? Or do we run 'n' gun like there's no tomorrow, seeing success as whatever the road hands to us as our reward? Or maybe we'd rather take a more laid-back approach: Just to the bare minimum necessary to stay alive and pursue whatever we want within good reasoning?

So it seems, as it often is with these blog posts, that nothing is really as straightforward as it seems. Is it truly the way to force oneself to "enjoy" the mundane pursuits of paying taxes and chasing down that career with the better pay grade? Put into perspective, changing the self suddenly becomes an appealing option, but then again, the choice to cry in the shower or drink random chemicals under the sink is as different as it gets. What should we make of them haters who more or less have it all together? As the gym rats do, gaslight 'em and do everything we can to make them feel worse about their life choices and situation. Because remember, you elevate yourself above others by bettering yourself or alternatively by pushing everyone else below. Not that this is useful advice outside of a gym context, but you get the point… I would hope.

'Til next time, young padawan.

Ah, the joys of cinnamon bun ice cream. After 6 months in the freezer, it was hopefully worth the weight.

#failure #growing up #purpose #change

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anangelofheaven · 1 year

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Sermon 10

Psalms 5:12 reads, "Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield."

Does this mean that the righteous are protected from harm? On a certain level, it definitely does. After all, a shield is used as the metaphor.

Yet surely, it doesn't mean that the righteous are protected from actual physical harm. That's empirically evident to not be the case. And even the Bible describes, in excruciating detail in The Book of Job, how bad things can often happen to good people. "Rain falls on the just and the unjust alike," as they say.

So if the righteous aren't protected from car crashes, man-eating lions or even the rain, what are they protected from? How are they blessed?

We can strike "monetarily" off the list of options. If the many, many stories about righteous people like Noah, Moses and David losing all that they have aren't proof enough, God Himself states it during His many teachings as Jesus. Whether telling people to ditch their attachments to closing, houses or livelihoods, Christ doesn't count material success as a blessing. Besides, didn't He explicitly say that it would be easier for a camel to pass through a needle's eyes than for a rich person to get into Heaven?

God doesn't just dismiss material success as a blessing, He's downright against it.

If it isn't health and it isn't wealth, what is God protecting when He shields the righteous?

He's protecting them from the mental anguish and sick cycle carousel of sin, that's what He's protecting the righteous from. They can go through life knowing that if they follow His way, they don't have to suffer the isolation, doubt and agonizing obsession those who focus on other things do.

By "other things," I would count the material success that we talked about above. Whether it's keeping up with the Joneses, biting your fingernails from FOMO or simply succumbing to "compare and despair" on social media, God protects the righteous from such things. They are told to actively avoid material prosperity, to dispense with it entirely and to banish thoughts of it from their mind.

The same goes for other appetites. Hungry? God will feed you, much like He does the birds of the field, He says, but He doesn't promise you a prime rib dinner. You should eat to live, not live to eat.

And you shouldn't seek to glut your appetite for sex, either. Have fun with it, enjoy it, but never, ever obsess over it. Certainly, avoid it when it comes to aiming at others who have been taken. God's opinion on sex for pleasure is kept to Himself, but He sure is not fond of lusting after others or committing adultery.

In essence, He shields us from all the mental and emotional impurities that afflict us, today as much as ever. There is a constant barrage on the modern mind, urging it to want to buy, venerating youth and lust, and pushing it to worry and despair over success. None of those things matter to the righteous. Where others see pipe dreams, the righteous see pitfalls.

It's the word of God, and the way of His example, that guides us around those pitfalls. We need not worry, because how to live well is all spelled out right there. The example of Christ, and the word of God in the Bible, inform us how to live protected from all the agonies of the modern age: The anxieties, the self loathing, the inadequacies, insatiability and ennui.

He tells us to stop worrying about what's on Amazon or in that boutique shop window. He tells us to look over your social media with love of others, if at all, and not to compare or judge, or even care about Cadillac margaritas, trips to the French Riviera and Taylor Swift tickets. He tells us to obey the commandments that keep us out of trouble, one of which is to avoid lusting over someone who's in a relationship.

More than all those, He tells us to let go and live the plan He has for us. He's given us the instructions on how to walk His path. We do so knowing that we're protected from the doubts and downfalls that come from straying off of it.

#fantasy #god #godisgood #pandemonium #second life #angel #art #roleplay #female writers #writerscommunity #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #creative writing

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the-firebird69 · 1 year

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Watch "Shinedown - 45 (Official Video) [HD]" on YouTube

https://youtu.be/MLeIyy2ipps

It was Dave and Carol who wrote the letters the real thing and they said this to him we might be gone but you're going to be gone too it's because of you you're incompetent and won't get out of the way. And listen to your dumb comments and with your stupid face all day long when you're full of air in your head there's nothing there but really you're doing us a favor and you keep saying it I don't want to rail at him anymore is complete loser let's make sure I'm safe and use them up and he's right and he's the leader of our family and our people very respect my king and he respects his Queen although her emperor and empress unlike you and we rule over a huge Dominion our realm is gigantic yours is puny and you know you don't even rule over it at all they put you in there on purpose because of what you've done so far in any leadership role and we're definitely not jonesing for them to run things since they just continue trying to dilapidate things so we are dispersing the Genesis car it's your car and we took it and the robots and Tommy F took his share and BGA took a share too he's delivered them to Tunisia and they're robots there tons of them they work for the imperium and they're going after your people right now while you get your jollies off of Chris's Grandma being dead but he wasn't really part of the organization at all and it's really you who did her end and everybody knows it and their issuing hits on you and you know about it too and you gloating about it and you think it's great but they usually hit you. A piece of s*** b**** Sarah these people are nothing and they just get in your face and try and get it to argue with them to prove there's something it's important is what Mac is saying what he's saying is to have the son and daughter to come clean which to become king and queen which won't happen on his lifetime so I'm not really sure it's what it means so I guess I'll get back to it. He's a condescending b**** and you should know it. They're both condescending idiots but they're idiots and we need all of us to stop harping on idiots and to focus on what matters say and why every time and use the idiot says an excuse. And we're going to do that now. It means this we're to inherit the crown at some point and somehow go to Britain and become king and queen. And what he says is I don't think so it doesn't make any sense except from a foreigners point of view and that's afford to say and what we say is we don't want to be king and queen over there realm that's the idiocy and we have our own car companies thanks. So it's time to say this it's a dumb idea but it got us here. It's Max idea too to say that they lost and my husband says I don't want the duties of a king of Britain I'm from America and you can sit here and be assholes all you want you're the assholes he's saying to them and they're saying this it's obvious we have a problem it sure is so I'm saying this to them underneath them right now there's a child of ours I'm very own baby who is petrified and 100% intact mentally too and he's huge and we lost a battle sort of and we hid and grew underneath us here in punta Gorda too well she is it's a she and she's tremendous she's 80 miles high and the one in London is 140 mi tall and has an army of them that are being revived right now so listen up you need the Intel our people are going to get it now and that means the Intel. And I'm tired of looking at their fat faces they're idiots. They are idiots and I'm sick of it and then we have a plan and it's starting today and genoysis which is the Star wars word for Tunis and I love it and it's helping me now with the math and Genesis the part of the Bible has some of this written in it about this place and what's happening now

Hera

Zues

And yes our daughter Hera gets very upset at this video and at them because they're the instrument but there's plenty of instruments and so I'm going to focus on the max and she wanted him to say it and he is saying that they'll become king and queen and yes sir Brayden and there's something since Insanity because it's all a bunch of old buildings and around the is not held together tonight by Britain insult together by Max and it's all over the place there's nothing to do with London so he's pissed off when he sort of gets it it's kind of a husband idea and it's dusty and he's having allergies a second the internet any of those buildings he doesn't like that style architecture the place looks old and run down because it is that's what he's thinking doesn't want to be present either a Target I don't know you going to try and run that plan doesn't have any money at all in your loser everyone's saying it to you you advocated your phone to this piece of s***

Olympus

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wonderlandleighleigh · 2 years

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Absolutely love your writing and the fun escape it brings! I’d love to know Lenny’s thoughts immediately following his exit from the Carnegie Hall stage after his conversation with Midge.

(Thank you!)

When he gets back to the little backstage area, the people he knows have left, thinking he'd spend the rest of his night with Midge, and in a perfect world...well...yeah.

But as it is, he's faced with a sea of people he doesn't really know, and the only thing he can think to do is grab his trench coat and get the fuck out.

There's a part of his brain that thinks he should find her. Apologize for being harsh. Really talk to her, but there's a bigger part of his brain that knows he's right about this. That knows she's being an asshole about her career. Turning down Tony fucking Bennett, Jesus to Jesus and eight hands around, who the fuck does that?

Midge, apparently.

As he steps out into the bluster of the snowstorm, he feels his hands start to shake a little, and he can't tell if he's cold or jonesing, his senses are so mixed up. He's been clean for a couple days. Trying to make sure he's clear-headed and sharp for the Carnegie people.

He makes it to the closest late-night diner, and realizes quickly, pleasantly, in the warmth of the little restaurant, that he's not jonesing. It really is just cold, and mixing that with the adrenaline of performing and then arguing makes for some odd bodily responses. Though he knows he'll probably need a fix sooner or later.

He snags a booth, orders coffee and ponders the pie selection, weighing the pros and cons of pecan versus apple, when the diner door opens, and he sees a familiar head of brown hair, and hears the familiar clack of high heels, except they slip a little on the tile floor.

His options are:

Sink down into his booth and hope she doesn't notice him.

Sit up a little taller and wave her over.

Do nothing.

He options for three, going back to reading the menu, acknowledging that he doesn't have the best luck with women (or life). and that she'll probably ream him out for reaming her out, and he's just not in the mood.

Midge walks right past him, without even noticing him, limping from a broken heel that she's carrying, taking a booth diagonal to his, and contemplating the broken heel of her shoe (and also probably her life choices) silently.

She looks miserable, and he hates that. He thinks she's made some really dumb, shitty mistakes, but he in no way thinks she deserves to look this unhappy.

Lenny takes a breath and puts his menu down. "I don't think your broken heel is going to make a very good therapist," he tries.

"Is that what I need?" Midge asks, looking over at him.

He shrugs. "Maybe we all do. Me, certainly."

She huffs and sets the heel down. "I didn't see you when I walked in."

"I know."

"You probably don't really want to talk to me right now anyways," she adds.

He shrugs. "Just because I think you made a huge fucking mistake doesn't mean I don't..."

Don't what? he wonders as his voice trails off. Still like her? Love her?

Fuck. There's a notion that she doesn't need to hear right now.

"Can I come sit?" he asks, and she gestures for him to join her. He gets up, looks from the empty side of the booth to Midge, and decides to make her scoot over.

"What are you doing?" she asks, puzzled as she scoots in.

"I was having trouble deciding on pie," he explains, lifting to menu. "It's easier to get your opinion if we can both see the choices."

"God, pie does sound good," she sighs. She hesitates for a moment, but then gently lets her chin rest on his shoulder to read the menu with him. "Something they can warm up."

"Which rules out meringues, key lime, and anything else egg-based," Lenny says as the waitress sets down two cups of coffee for them.

Midge grabs hers, eagerly pouring in some cream and taking a sip.

Lenny absently pours some sugar into his own as he keeps reading. "Which leave fruit-based."

"Which, really, are the superior pies," Midge tells him.

He thinks about that. "I really like pecan."

"It's so sticky," Midge complains. "And almost always too sweet. You can't even finish a slice."

"It's easier with two people, sure," Lenny comments.

"Cherry is my favorite," she says. "With apple and peach in close second and third."

"Oh, I hadn't even thought of cherry," Lenny ponders. "I wish it wasn't so fucking cold, ice cream would be great on top."

"What's your favorite?" Midge asks, tilting her head at him.

"Who knows?" he shrugs.

"Come on, tell me," Midge presses. "I'm going to take your advise and get my head out of my ass and start taking real gigs again. The least you can do is fess up to your favorite pie."

He blows out a breath. "When you put it that way...strawberry rhubarb. But it's outta season."

She smiles. "I never would have guessed that."

"I remain an enigma," he jokes lightly as the waitress comes back over. "Cherry pie, please, warmed up, two forks."

#fic #tmmm #Lenny Bruce #Midge Maisel #au

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three--rings · 3 years

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I'm badly in need of some serotonin. Like I have to tell myself that I have a lot going on with me physically right now: my usual pain issues, severe anemia, and really really terrible cramps the last two days.

But also I just...no fandoms are doing anything for me right now. Which is super painful, but given the Everything, it's really really hard to spark joy from cmedia atm.

And I'm feeling this gaping HOLE of creativity. Like, I haven't written anything or wanted to write anything for so long. I mean I have scraps. I've worked a little on the piece that has a fast-approaching deadline. But that part of me feels hibernating. And I have book projects I want to do, but I also want to build a new space to work on bookmaking stuff in, and THAT's overwhelming (and physically difficult.)

And also in the last few days I've been JONESING to do some sewing, but my sewing room is an entire disaster and there's a lot of work to get it very useable, and IDK, I have PLANS, but also I need like....parts of things. I have patterns and no fabric or fabric but no patterns or like yanno...missing pieces of the things I want to do.

However I did clean out my closet today. I'm getting rid of like 80% of the normal clothes in it because I haven't touched them in so long. (Remaining: all the costumes that mostly don't fit anymore, and a good amount of winter stuff.)

Meanwhile, also, like my car isn't running? (It should be relatively minor but uh it's hard to get fixed when my partner works 60+hours a week.) So I can't just like, up and decide to take that stuff to donate or go to the fabric store.

Anyway, I'm just...cross-stitching and watching youtube and it's not SUSTAINING MY SOUL, yanno. Also in the middle of like IDK 8 video games but not fixating on anything with the exception of Monster Hunter Stories 2, which I highly recommend. I'm into after-story high rank content, though, which is less engaging. But I need All The Monsties. In All the Colors, please. (It's basically Pokemon but Monster Hunter.)

Anyway, I just...need to express this because woes. And like, it's that vague spiritual kind of woe, yanno, that's so hard to address. I keep buying things, which is really POOR way of stimulating the serotonin machine, but I do have some new clothes I'm happy about and a bunch of cheap makeup. And lots of bookmaking supplies. Or I will if my package from Hollander's ever gets here. But I don't think it's shipped. I paid for them to cut my boards this time because that SUCKS to do by hand.

#me #current state of threerings #help I need a hyperfixation please #does anyone have any serotonin sources out there?

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brendaonao3 · 2 years

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For the top gun ask meme, 17 and 19!

MONKIE MY DARLING IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! :D

It's crazy how so many of us keep finding each other in different fandoms - bless hot men and women and their issues, they really do keep fandom going.

Okay, for the Top Gun Ask Meme

17. Was there anything in the movies you wish was handled differently?

Oh yeah, of course, there are totally a few tweaks I'd make to both films.

In OG Top Gun, the ending scene with Charlie has always felt really tacked on in that mid-80s kind of way where the filmmakers knew they wanted to get ladies into the theatre, and figured the best way to do it was to amp up the "romance", when it really wasn't needed. Charlie's a great character, but she'd served her purpose in the film, and having her head out to D.C. felt more realistic. Instead, I wished they'd ended the film with Mav, idk, having dinner with Carole and Bradley or something, to establish that he's still carrying on with his promise to Goose to look after Goose's family.

In Top Gun: Maverick, tbh, I think we were owed the Mav/Bradley post-mission discussion. It bugs me that we didn't get it, and instead got the typical dude interaction where All Is Good just because they had a life-threatening experience together. :D But that's what fanfic is for, and there have been some great ones that have explored their dynamic after the film.

I also wish we'd gotten more of Payback & Fanboy's backstory or more characterizations with the two of them. But hopefully the Blu-Ray or something will have deleted scenes.

19. What do you wish you’d see more of in Top Gun fandom?

MORE LADIES! (Which, I get it, I do, I am falling into the exact same trap by writing All The Dudes, so if anyone out there wants to shoot me over some prompts for Phoenix or Halo or Penny or Amelia - y'all know how much I love writing her :D - or even Carole, hit me up!) And I don't mean, the ladies serving the dudes' story, but fics that explore them as three-dimensional characters with their own arcs.

Beyond that - and look, I know, okay, I know I'm in the minority here, but I, without shame, 1000000000000% ship the hell out of Hangman/Maverick, so ANY fics with those two would make me happy.

(Yes, I also ship Bradley/Maverick, but that pairing has more fic so far, so I'm not jonesing for it quite as much. :D)

#brenda answers things #top gun #top gun: maverick #tgm headcanon #top gun headcanons #pete maverick mitchell #the badass ladies of top gun

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asukaskerian · 3 years

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Sorry to bother you but I have a question which I hope you will answer. I've noticed that in your post for Monthly Word Count for July you are on chapter 5 of Days on a Wire but on AO3 there are 3 chapters only. What's up with chapter 4? If you've already explained this before, sorry to make you repeat yourself. Thank you and have a great day

i'm evil and like making people suffer >:D

okay no more seriously:

1) the way i write, my progress is not regular at all. i could write a whole chapter in a month and then not touch it again for another six. or write in 200 words chunks that i hate the next time i look at it, and then i have to delete it all and restart some other way. it's better to hold back from posting as soon as i'm done because it makes things a little more regular for the readers. otherwise people get used to having new stuff every two weeks and then "did you die, it's been two months??" like PLEASE come talk to me until it's been two years, before that point it's not even that alarming. :(

2) for more complex stories, sometimes i figure out plot-related vital things that rely on stuff that happened in previous chapters in the middle of writing, and if i need to change previous scenes and it's already posted i'm in deep shit, because, ugh, it's either people thinking i missed a massive plothole or doing retcons. (ugh.) usually once it's posted i don't edit it anymore, so that means i have to keep working around what's online. so if it's a longer fic, i usually try to keep a buffer so i can go back and tweak. i almost never succeed for more than two or three chapters, but that's the theory.

so basically, chapter four of days on a wire is nominally complete but might need edited until it runs smoothly with chapter five, i probably need to take some exposition/worldbuilding out and put it somewhere it'll fit better, and idk how long that'll take, so i'm stretching out posting it until five is at least 75% complete and i can imagine having it completed sometime soonish.

none of it is a rule or even a well thought-out habit, mind. i'm deciding mostly by feel and/or how much i'm jonesing for comments. XD

#asuka writes #kinda #writing woes

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screamingintosilence · 5 years

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You Were the Greatest Thing (That Ever Happened to Me)

Songfic Writing Challenge Day 10

Terrible Things - Mayday Parade

Warning: Major Character Death

Jughead Jones watched in amusement from across the yard as his 16 year old son brushed a hand through his own dark locks, looking nervous and slightly sweaty as he stuttered over his words while talking to the beautiful red headed 15 year old daughter of Archie Andrews and Veronica Lodge.

To his chagrin, Betty had put her foot down during pregnancy and that's how their sweet, beautiful baby boy ended up being named Forsythe Pendelton Jones the Fourth. FP had laughed heartily when they told him, he knew it was definitely Betty's choice. But when their little guy came into the world, screaming, pink, and a head full of downy black hair, Betty had looked at him with a smile that said, “See? He's your son and I was right.”

And she was right, she was always right. The only concession she gave him when it came to their child's name was letting him pick out a nickname because “Betts, if that's going to be his name, we’re not actually calling him that.” And that is how Cooper Jones the Fourth made his entrance into their lives.

He watched as his son turned and ran towards him, smile splitting across his face and all Jughead could think was his much he looked like Betty in that moment. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks, they all came from his wife.

“Hey Dad!” Cooper was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Son,” Jughead smirked at the boy while raising the glass of sweet tea to his lips.

“Can I borrow your truck? I finally did it! I asked Jules to the movies and she said yes!” Both Joneses looked over to where the redhead girl was excitedly talking to her mother, the look on Cooper’s face one of adoration. Jughead smiled, it reminded him of how he must have looked when he first fell in love with Betty.

“Don’t stay out too late. You behave tonight, ok? And you treat her right Bud, got it?” The ring of keys rested on the older man's finger, waiting for his son to take it.

“He always does, Mr. Jones!” the young Juliet Andrews cut in, skipping over to them, not realizing how her words made Jughead's heart stutter and stop for a few moments before picking up again.

“Always! Thanks Dad!” Cooper grabbed the keys before interlocking his fingers with the petite girl next to him, both getting lost in each other as they walked to the front of the house where he had parked when they came over to the Andrews’. Neither teen noticing how tears brimmed in Jughead's eyes.

He felt a slim arm loop itself through his own at the same time as a heavy, familiar hand came to rest and squeeze his shoulder.

“B and I used to joke about this happening,” he heard Veronica softly say next to him as she too squeezed his arm, resting her head on his other shoulder. “We would talk about just how long it would take them, like how long it took for you two.”

The tears started to slowly fall. “He must take after me,” he let out a watery laugh. “I'm pretty sure he's been in love with her since I told him what love was. Probably took until reading his mom's words from when we were his age about how she wished I would just make a move for him to pluck up his own courage.”

The pressure from the hand his redhead best friend increased. “You were the very best thing to happen to her, Jug. Believe it. She glued us all together, figuring out in her Betty way just how this crazy jigsaw fit together.” He nodded, sniffling to keep from sobbing.

“She did,” he swiped at his eyes. “It's been nearly eleven years, but it still feels like yesterday, ya know?” He could see tears rimming Archie's eyes as Veronica let hers stream down her cheeks as they both nodded.

“Let's get you home, Jug,” Archie's arm wrapped securely around his friend’s shoulders as Veronica's hand dropped to his, holding it firmly. He might have always been friends with Archie, but it was Betty's doing that they had stuck together through even the toughest of times; and it was Betty who had brought the whirlwind that was Veronica Lodge into his life, even if it was begrudgingly at first.

It had been hours since the Andrewses had seen him safely home. He had pulled some of Betty's old journals from her last few days to read, a habit of his from the past ten years.

His was reading over her passage from the day she had told him the news, his heart breaking over every sentence.

I told Juggie the news today, it didn't go well. I had gotten the call this morning from the doctor that my results came in. It was devastating. Juggie and Cooper were out having a boys day with FP and I just didn't have the heart to interrupt to have him come with me.

Crying in the middle of a doctor's office without my husband definitely makes it on my top 5 most embarrassing moments... But I won't have many of those moments left to make, I guess.

I've been in tears all day, but there's nothing to be done about it. I was told that I can still give it a shot to fight this, but the cancer was progressing so rapidly that my chances are very slim. The oncologist said that my counts have jumped exponentially and that I'm already Stage 4. Stage 4 cancer at 33….

Cooper is only 5, what will Juggie do? He's the most amazing dad, I know he'll be ok, but God, I'm far from it. There won't be chances to see him grow from my tiny little squirt to being as tall as Jug. There won't be any Homecoming, Formal, or Prom pictures of me pinching his cheeks. I won't get to meet the person he'll fall irrevocably in love with and I won't get to tell him that that's how it was with his father.

I know Jug will do all of these things, and he'll be wonderful and amazing and everything or baby boy needs. It's just so hard to come to terms with one’s own demise.

And Jug, God, Jug. We won't have our 90 years together like we joke about. I don't know if we'll even have 1. God what I would give for the assurance of just one more year together.

I love him more than all the stars in all the galaxies. He was everything I ever needed, always there for me from the beginning. God, I don't know if he even knows how much I love him, how much he means to me.

I-

The front door opened as Jughead hastily wiped the tears from his cheeks and dabbed at the page of Betty's diary gently, careful to try and not smudge it even more from where his past years and even hers had fallen.

His 16 year old son, his and Betty's pride and joy, waltzed in with a look of having his head in the clouds. Jughead smiled, though some rouge tears still fell free.

“You guys have a good time?” His question came out a little choked, causing Cooper to come to, taking in the scene of his father on the couch, nose and eyes red, with his mother's journals in front of him.

“Yeah, the movie was good. Jules was just…” His eyes got a little dreamy at the mention of his best friend, now potentially girlfriend. “You ok, Dad?”

“Yeah, just…” Jughead trailed off.

Cooper sat next to him wrapping an arm around his shoulders, shoulders that used to carry his son on them for hours, but now felt like they carried the world, especially in moments like this. “Just missing Mom?”

Jughead tried swallowing past the lump in his throat, wiped his hands over his face, and nodded. “Yeah. She would have been so proud of you, Cooper. You were her baby boy, and now you're all grown up.”

Tears filled the young man's emerald green orbs (ones just like his mother's) as he ducked his head to gather his thoughts.

“You know, she was terrified of being a mother, scared after the way she was raised and seeing how crazy your Aunt Polly. But God, Cooper, you made her so happy. She took one look at you and it clicked. She looked at me and said, ‘This is it, Jug. This is how it was always meant to be. I was always meant to be his mommy and you his daddy.’ And like always, she was right. I was always meant to be your dad. You made it so easy, you were such a wonderful baby and child. You have me the strength and will to keep going, Buddy.”

Jug pulled Cooper into a tight embrace, kissing the top of his head. He could feel the tears staining his shirt from where his son's head rested.

After a few moments of silence, the younger man pulled back, wiping away the tears that lingered on his face.

“Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you tell me about the time that you first kissed Mom again?”

Jughead laughed. “Sure, Bud. Well I had went over to her house one afternoon to see how she was. We had snuck into The Sisters of Quiet Mercy, where your grandparents had put Aunt Polly when she was pregnant with the twins, the day before.” Cooper was nodding along. Jughead had told him this story so many times now but it was one of his son's favorites.

“We got caught by your grandmother, and she was so furious that she kept your mom home from school without access to her phone. So naturally I grabbed the ladder from your Uncle Archie's dad's garage and scaled the side of the house to your mom's window.” He gave his son a stern look suddenly, “Don't even think about doing that with Jules, you hear me? Your aunt would kick my ass.”

Cooper snorted, “I won't, but Aunt Veronica wouldn't do that. She loves me too much to care,” he grinned mischievously.

Jughead jokingly cuffed his ear, “Let’s not test that theory, shall we?” The young man laughed, settling down one more.

“So, anyways. I could see your mom through the glass looking very serious and contemplative, kinda like how you get sometimes. She was still trying to solve everything in that beautiful blonde head of hers, and I just knew that that was my moment. I had loved her for years already, but seeing her be Nancy Drew,” he looked down at the floor, his mind conjuring up the image of his love. “She was something else, Coop.

“I knocked on her window to get her attention, thinking I was so clever and smooth. I remember the first thing I said was ‘Hey there Juliet, nurse off duty?’” Cooper snorted again. “Yeah, it was as cheesy as it sounds, but God, your mom? She just brought that mushy side out of me.” He grinned at the memories.

“You know, that's where Jules got her name.”

“Wait, what? You never told me this. How?” Cooper looked bewildered at the new information.

“Yeah. After the complications of your birth made it so we couldn't have any more kids, your aunt decided that she would use the name for us. She loved your mom so much and knew how much she wanted to name a little girl Juliet that Veronica said she'd name her daughter that to honor her. Jules was originally going to be named Elizabeth but your mom insisted that they go with Juliet once you were born.”

Cooper sat, stunned that the love of his life got her name from his parents love story.

“Betty desperately wished she could watch the man you would become, she's so proud of you, Bud. I just know it.” Cooper's and Jug’s eyes glistened.

“She's so proud of you too, Dad.”

“Thanks, Coop. Now, enough sad. Tell me about your date,” giving his son the biggest shit-eating grin.

“Daaaad-”

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