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#and i dunno i guess i could go on about my dad
junepegbert · 2 years
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brndnelas smmlsaaal
#ksospspspsuygsgdhdh…….&.&.$:#so anyways.#it’s soooooooo. unfortunate.#how much i hate the idea of being cared for#or well i don’t hate it#it just feels. wrong on every level#like all day today whenever one of my buds tried cheering me up i ended up wincing cause it felt so wrong#and like i love it and i appreciate it because it’s more than i could kindness than i’d ever dare ask for or much less wish for#but i still can’t get over the idea that i haven’t earned it or don’t deserve to feel bad or whatever#i mean part of it’s also how i struggle actively helping myself#ie there are things i know make me be better. but i actively chose to avoid doing them#because well on some fundamental level i don’t really want to feel good. like at the core of my being i do deserve to feel awful constantly#but i rarely do feel bad because i get used to whatever problems too fast#so i dunno. i guess i just hold onto whatever sadness or anything i get because it’s the closest to me ‘getting what i deserve’ that i’llget#and i don’t want these people i love to worry about me or even think about me in the context of someone who needs help but i’m still just.#like. some dumb kid y’know. and it’s so upsetting all the time#and i dunno i guess i could go on about my dad#and say something like ‘ah with him i had to earn love and respect! these people just love me no matter what and it feels wrong’ but that’d#simplify this way too much. i’m just kinda miserable at the core of the concept of ‘me’#so i dunno. it’s hard. i don’t like it. and i don’t think i realistically can get better from it#because well i only ever day dream about getting *worse*#and getting everyone around me to finally see me for who i think i am and so they all leave me#but it’s so. i dinno.#vent
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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thetimelordbatgirl · 5 months
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Ngl Horrid Henry is becoming that show I honestly forget about but then seeing something on it online makes me remember its existence...and also in todays case, how much I hated his parents, cause oh my god, the clip I just saw...
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defiant-firefly · 2 months
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(I've had my chatty medicines so you get a post about this)
There is something distinctly and uniquely alienating and bizarre about hearing people say 'Easter Sunday is the most religious day of the year'. Like, when was this?? If it's so religious and so so so important, how come no one thought to tell me it was religious until like four or five years ago?
Yeah it's kinda funny but I'm also sat there every time like "what the fuck are you talking about". The assumption I was raised Christian and am Christian via culture is really funny though cause like. Bro I have no fucking clue what any of this stuff is about.
My parents never taught me the majority of this shit. Anyone else assumed I already knew about it. This Easter talk I've been hearing about a weird amount more than normal is all new to me and making me think of all this shit lmao
#no I'm not joking about only realising it was religious a handful of years back#but it IS weird to see people talk about what MUST be my default beliefs given my country and just#very little of it being true?? I don't see a lot of this talk at the moment I just heard my dad talking about easter and it got me thinking#so don't mind me really but like.#as an example of what I mean. its assumed christian cultures push the belief of going to heaven when you die#it's probably true! but not for me. I was raised to belief that when you died you became a star in the sky#specifically on the first night you were the brightest star in the sky so everyone could see you#APPARENTLY this is greek?? I dunno man but it's not heaven lmao#there were loads of little every day things I remember seeing a while back that were listed as this stuff too#and I don't remember them at all but there were only a few there that I recognised as my own beliefs#i feel like i was raised culturally... i guess blank? so I picked up my own beliefs over time??#does that make sense?? is that a thing?? actually wondering if it's just me that gets this#cause it was only two years ago I found out valentines was a saints thing#wondering if anyone else was just raised with a 'I dunno its whatever' thing instead of a culturally religious thing#cause it IS weird seeing posts treating this knowledge as something everyone has I dunno#but ANYWAY it's funny sitting there while people are stunned you didn't know about the 'most religious day of the year'#my mans my only religious experiences were very VERY brief and I was mostly annoyed I couldn't eat the gummy bears on the impaled orange#what in the fuck is that about btw??? honestly what's the deal with that one???#why is there a whole service revolving around an orange with a bunch of cocktail sticks in it???#I don't even remember when that was I think it was end of the year time or something???#there was nothing to do so obviously my child self wasn't interested at all in anything but the orange#I need to look this up now I guess but without the context I'm supposed to have apparently this genuinely sounds batshit insane#I don't remember what I was talking about imma hit post and forget this whole thing and not reread anything#firefly life#<- probably. I don't remember
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floral-hex · 3 months
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“guess you didn’t have a forwarding address after all ☹️” shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut up shut up shut up
#I am FROTHING#at the mouth I mean#I am so beyond unreasonably annoyed#dad sends bday card to old address bc we never talk and he didn’t know I moved#literally never texts me#I don’t really text him either so I suppose it’s a two way street#I had mail forwarding until Jan 1st so I dunno what happened but I dunno just the text out of the blue like that triggers something in me#could have just said “hey your card finally got returned. do you want me to resend it?’#BUT NO fucking ☹️☹️☹️ guess you made a wittle mistakey son ☹️☹️☹️#I’m most probably reading too much into it. probably. I’m hoping….#I am just… seething…#whatever. it’s a two way road. you’d just think he’d care about his son to check in more often#especially when said son is not. doing. great. when said son is helping take care of his estranged dad’s sick ex wife whom he divorced to#to fuck off around the world and fucking go live abroad after having two kids. just fucks off. fucked off. f offed. off’d? LEFT#which WHATEVER your prerogative my dude my man I still love you but I’m gonna be resentful forever#and I’m getting off topic. oh yeah. and the last time we texted briefly I was saying how life was shitty#told him I had to move because of no money and mom got a transplant and is still sick all the time#and it’s all ‘well… let me know if I can do anything’#fuck you#you want to be snarky go ahead and be snarky#go fucking drink by the pool all day with your dogs whatever#big fucking nice guy ‘uwu guess you didn’t really want my letter 👉👈😢#I’m just… fucking sorry I don’t text you more. what am I supposed to text about?#i’m ashamed of myself. of my life. I’m a fucking 35 year old loser and I know I let you down. talking to you just reminds me I’m a fuck up#I’m a bad investment and you got out while the getting was good#fuck… it was just some shitty little comment that might not have even been malicious. just tone deaf or whatever#but now I’m feeling so shitty and I can’t stop it#sorry this was too much#I was on the verge of just starting to yell and stomp around like an idiot and decided to vent here instead#… but seriously what the fuck. what response is he expecting? I set up forwarding so idk. shit happens dude
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tgcg · 7 days
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an open fly walking
i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now
TG: hey karkat
CG: YEAH?
===
TG: you ever noticed you like
TG: walk weird
CG: WOW, OKAY.
CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?
TG: pff
===
TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity
TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but
TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man
CG: I DO???
TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault
TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale
TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity
TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it
CG: SERIOUSLY?
===
TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but
TG: yeah
CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
TG: im not fucking with you striders honor
TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything
CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.
CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.
TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me
CG: ON IT.
===
===
TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude
CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.
TG: dont your feet ache
===
CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.
TG: damn i didnt think that through
TG: my shades
CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.
TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with
TG: ugh
===
TG: guess its karma
CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?
TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor
TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing
TG: just conjecture i mean
CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.
TG: yeah probably
CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.
===
TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets
TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot
CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.
CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.
CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".
TG: well look at it this way
TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass
TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol
CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.
===
TG: also screw this can i use your shirt
TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up
TG: i cant see dick
CG: UH
CG: SURE, I GUESS.
TG: cool
===
TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right
TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night
CG: YEAH.
CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.
CG: BUT
CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.
TG: see yeah i sound it off and
===
TG: wait really?
CG: YEAH
CG: I DON'T KNOW
CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.
===
CG: IT'S LIKE
CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.
CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.
TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing
CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.
TG: you think thatd be heroic or just
CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.
CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?
TG: hah
===
TG: but uh
TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth
CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.
CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.
TG: oh
CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.
===
TG: heh
TG: well get this
TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free
TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues
TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time
TG: take that and some of this
TG: im packin punches
CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!
CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.
CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.
TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here
===
CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?
TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given
TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool
CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.
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chelseeebe · 2 months
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we can’t be friends.
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a little fake dating situation in which eddie must pretend to be your boyfriend to keep up pretences, but then feelings start to become hazy and now he’s not sure if you could ever be just friends again.
a/n: i’m reading this back and actually not liking it as much as i first did hahahaah but i hope you enjoy!! i just wanted to reiterate my hate for the duffers and the fact that they didn’t give him any other t-shirt other than that dang hellfire one>:(
18+. mdni. smut. mentions of bad parent/s. modern au i guess but it’s hardly mentioned. no use of y/n!
eddie wasn’t expecting to walk in to you so stressed.
it was the usual thursday movie night but you’d answered the door with a green complexion and the look of a deer in headlights.
“what’s wrong?” he perplexes, shutting the door behind him as you continue to pace the living room floor.
you sigh, blinking at him as you stop for a few seconds. you’re contemplating something, sizing him up with your eyes narrowed. it makes him a little unsettled if he’s honest.
“next week, are you free?”
“what?” wondering what the hell that had to do with your nervous exterior.
“are you free?” you press.
“uh.. probably, why?” not an inch of sense in your words.
“you wanna come on vacation with me? i mean- it’s not so much a vacation but a family reunion, but can you come?” chewing on your fingernail.
“when? what? why?” rattling through all of his questions all at once.
you sigh again, frustrated with his lack of understanding, “family reunion, i can’t do it alone eds..” your hands cycle around the air, “josh was supposed to come with me but obviously.. that’s not happening so can you come?”
eddie’s face finally un-scrunches. it all made sense now.
you’d spoken enough about your crazy parents and subsequently just why you’d moved halfway across the country to get away from them to understand why you didn’t want to go on your own.
he’d also been elated when you’d told him that you and josh had broken up. eddie had never liked him, in fact, if were given the chance, he thinks he’d punch him square in the face.
that hadn’t really helped you of course, so he kept it mostly to himself. but if the opportunity were ever to arise, he’d do it. no shame.
“oh, shit, why didn’t you just ask me in the first place?” he laughs, rolling in his eyes in jest as he collapses on the couch.
“i’ve asked everyone.. and i mean, everyone and they couldn’t, i was scared!” your body relaxes, coming to join him on the couch.
“oh thanks,” eddie scoffs, “so i was the last resort?”
“no,” you prod him in the side, “i didn’t think you’d wanna come, that’s all.”
“yeah right,” chuckling as you hand him a beer, “i don’t mind, i’ll suffer for you,” popping the lid off and taking a swig.
“thank you,” you exhale, leaning back against the couch, “really. it means a lot.”
“so what are we doing? skiing? sightseeing?” eddie probes, making himself comfortable.
you scoff, “oh no, it’s at my aunt’s beach house in illinois.. it’s big enough for you to have your own room and shit, you’ll just have to pretend to like craft beer and talk baseball with my dad.”
eddie’s head hits the back of the couch, groaning loudly, “baseball? man, i dunno if i can make it anymore.”
you throw him the dirtiest glare, “you’re not funny.”
despite your words, he falls into a fit of laughter truly not making your scowl any lesser. he knows you appreciate him deep down, given the fact that you hadn’t hit him yet.
-
the drive across indiana isn’t too bad, eddie only wishes he hadn’t let you control the music for the entirety of the journey.
“just..” you exhale, glancing warily over at him from the passenger seat, “just be normal, okay? don’t let them piss you off,” nodding with every word.
“you don’t trust me?” he grins, earning a deathly glare. “i won’t piss them off.. don’t worry,” turning his sarcastic mocking into kindness.
your eyes squeeze shut before you slide out of the door, doubting your choice to bring eddie along.
your parents open the door with a wide smile and their arms extended, pulling you in before looking over at eddie, obviously slightly taken aback with the man at their door.
he offers his hand out, “i’m eddie, nice to meet you sir,” feeling very judged and not at all surprised, not with all your horror stories.
your dad takes his hand, gripping on tight as he eyes him up and down, “so this is the boyfriend,” humming quietly, “it’s good to finally meet you, son.”
eddie freezes, eyes sliding from your parents to you to find you in the exact same position.
boyfriend?
“uh..” you fumble, mouth opening and closing somewhat like a fish, “yes! yes.. this is him,” chuckling nervously.
oh shit.
his week of rest and relaxation was about to become a week of performing and lies.
you watch eddie anxiously, your eyes speaking a thousand words. praying he doesn’t mess up, doesn’t embarrass you in front of them.
“yeah.. yeah, that’s me,” he nods hurriedly, going to shake your mom’s hand, “lovely to meet you.. miss.”
now eddie wasn’t opposed to pretending to be your boyfriend but fuck, really? he needed at least a week to prepare and rehearse, rather than you throwing him into a week of improvisation at a whim.
the literal second the door to your shared bedroom shuts, eddie spins on his heel, jaw clenched with an exasperated expression.
“what the fuck?” he whispers, rather loudly.
“i’m sorry!” you hush back, eyes wide, “i- i.. i didn’t have a choice! fuck, i’m really sorry,” anger turning to regret as you flop onto the bed, head in hands.
well great. now he feels guilty. you’re almost sobbing when he joins you on the bed, pressing his lips together in frustration.
“hey! it’s fine.. it’s fine,” he assures, “shit, it’ll be fun,” bumping his shoulder into yours playfully.
you sniffle pathetically, looking up at him with tearful eyes, “i’m really sorry.. i panicked,” bottom lip wobbling.
god, you look like the reincarnation of bambi.
his heart pangs, guilt wracking his chest for the slight overreaction.
“i know,” nodding slightly, “it’s okay.. it’ll be funny, you know?” he’s not sure that it’ll be anymore funny than it’ll be stressful, but he’s prepared to see this week through.
for you.
-
it’s the little things that make a relationship a relationship. things eddie hadn’t ever considered.
like the seemingly insignificant touches and the casual kisses. all things he now had to meticulously plan and prepare for.
nothing was ever too much. a gentle peck on the cheek or a graze of the knee. things no one would really notice unless you weren’t doing them.
you grab his hand walking to the table for dinner and he almost starts cackling until he remembers, now hoping that his palm wasn’t sweating too much.
that night in bed, you turn to face him, tiny smile creeping onto your face, “i think my cousin likes you, i mean- did you see the look on her face when you walked into dinner?”
eddie lets his phone fall onto his chest, flabbergasted at your suggestion, “what are you talking about?”
you hit his arm, furrowing your brows, “c’mon, she was totally checking you out, don’t pretend you didn’t notice,” rolling your eyes in jest.
if he’s honest, he really didn’t notice.
he’d been too preoccupied by you in that damn dress to care about anyone else at the table.
eddie didn’t get to see you dressed up often and the dress was sitting just right, he couldn’t exactly focus on much else.
“oh, are you getting jealous?” he mocks.
you tut, shaking your head, “maybe after we’ve fake-broken up you two can get together.”
“you are jealous,” he laughs, sliding his phone onto the nightstand and settles into bed, “what if i don’t wanna fake-break up?” only half-serious as he says it.
“well then i’ll get a fake-restraining order against you,” poking your tongue out before turning the lamp off. “goodnight, eddie,” he can hear the smile in your voice as you roll over.
there’s a quiet, niggling little voice somewhere in the back of his mind. or maybe it’s his heart speaking.
whatever it is, he doesn’t feel the need to acknowledge it. at least not right now anyway.
-
eddie supposes that a vacation at your aunt’s beach house would entail seeing you in little clothing but he can’t help the little woah from leaving his mouth when you walk out of the bathroom in a tiny bikini top.
“don’t be fucking weird,” you frown, eyes trailing down to his hot dog swimming trunks.
“i’m not!” he exclaims, still trying to draw his eyes away from your chest, “i’ve just never seen.. them,” eyes widening at your revealing bikini.
your eyes roll to the back of your head, expressing your disgust with a small groan.
the entire day is made significantly harder by your top, or lack thereof. eddie finds his gaze slipping downward and every so often has to remind himself that he’s not actually your boyfriend and he doesn’t have the rights to ogle you.
it’s just hard to focus on a thing your dad says to him when you’re sat in front of him like that.
his limits are tested when your cousin suggests a game of tennis. already calling eddie for her team as you get into position on the opposite side of the court.
perhaps you were right, her unnecessary, constant touching sent alarm bells ringing in his head. not that he’s paying it any mind, too distracted by your chest as you bound around the court.
so much so, he completely misses the ball, letting it bounce off of the court and into a hedge somewhere.
“eddie!” she shrieks, running off to collect the ball.
your eyes lock from over the net, your brows threaded together, “how about we swap teams? you join me,” pointing your finger at his face, gesturing for him to join you, which he does with a smile.
mostly just glad to be away from her wandering hands but also, he gets to prove a point.
“you are jealous,” eddie smirks, hushed tones as he speaks into your ear. you’re so close now, enough to touch.
he wants to.
he wants to so bad.
even if it were just to make your cousin seethe with envy.
“me? never,” smacking your racket gently at his leg, earning a nasty glare from your unhappy cousin who smacks the ball far too harshly towards him.
-
he’s too hot and bothered to do much after such an exciting game of tennis, walking in stride with you as you enter the large house. blabbering away about something or nothing when your mom announces her presence rather loudly.
“oh god,” pulling a face as she eyes your outfit, “you really should coverup sweetie, nobody wants to see that,” cackling away to herself.
eddie’s floored, utterly stunned that she’d ever say something like that, let alone to your face. your despairing expression stabs him in the heart, choking him from the inside out.
“well i do,” grinning at the lady in front of him.
“of course you do, you’re a man,” the older woman sighs, “i think it’s a little disgusting to just.. have everything out there,” gesturing to your chest, “women should have pride in their appearance, you know?”
you blink, chewing the inside of your lip as you nod. shrinking into yourself as you glide up the stairs. in an ideal world, he’d call her a bitch and move on with his life, however, he supposes that probably wouldn’t be wise.
she tuts, shaking her head at the stairs, “she’s always so offended.. can’t say a thing to her.”
eddie bites his tongue, diverting from what he truly wanted to say to offer some mild criticism, “maybe you shouldn’t have said anything at all,” shrugging as he flies past her and up the stairs, hot on your trail.
the bedroom’s empty though the en-suite door is closed, a muffled sniff coming from the other side. he hates that she’s made you cry, that she’s capable of even making you feel bad when you had absolutely zero reason to.
his knuckles rap against the door, pressing his cheek to the wood, “it’s me.”
there’s a small scuffle and then the lock clicks though the door remains closed. having to console you after the amazing afternoon you’d had feels wrong.
he creeps inside, closing the door behind him. you’re slouched on the toilet, tears leaking down your warm cheeks. it’s a punch to the gut to see you like this. all those harsh stories you’d recalled to him suddenly made a shit ton of sense.
“you okay?” eddie asks, the answer already overwhelmingly obvious.
“yeah,” you sigh, wiping your sodden cheeks, sniffling for good measure.
“you shouldn’t listen to her,” he affirms, perching on the bathtub, “don’t let her upset you.. it’s not worth it,” although his words probably fall on deaf ears, you already know this.
“i know..” staring up at him with your puppy dog eyes, “i’m sorry, she just.. ugh,” snarling your lip, “she knows how to make me feel like shit.”
“what the hell are you apologising to me for?” eddie jokes, poking you in the arm, “she’s just jealous,” choosing wisely where to go from here, “she doesn’t look as good as you do and she doesn’t like that.”
his words crack a tiny smile on your lips, mission accomplished.
“thanks,” you nod, “i mean that. thank you for even coming with me.. i couldn’t do it without you.”
his heart swells a little, or a lot really.
this is a dangerous game, he thinks. wanting nothing more than to cradle you in his arms.. blur the boundaries a little more.
how much more blurred could they possibly get before eddie had to admit to his feelings?
he’s not sure he wants to find out.
-
on reflection, it had been a pretty good week. at least eddie thinks so, pretending to be your boyfriend wasn’t exactly normal or anything he’d ever pictured himself doing. but he’s enjoyed it nonetheless.
despite a new found, deep hatred for your mother, he doesn’t think the rest of your family were that bad. willing to volunteer for any other vacations you might be forced to drag him on.
nowhere near as testing as he once thought it would be. in reality, the hardest part about it all was that he had to go home alone tomorrow.
as both of you lounge on the bed, the tv prattling on in the background, he smiles, gently elbowing you in the side.
“y’know this week has been fun,” reminiscing on all the stupid things he’s had to do to sell this story.
one night, you had helped yourself to a little too much wine. stumbling all over the vast garden as your family watched on in horror. so eddie did what any good boyfriend would do and slung you over his shoulder, giggling into his back as he manoeuvred his way up to your room.
not only the public displays of affection come back to him, but also the seemingly minuscule ones. where only you were involved. sneaky laughs and glances that only the two of you could understand.
“mhm,” you hum, sliding your bookmark into your book, “it has, thank you for doing this,” before leaning over to place your book onto the bedside table.
“i’ve enjoyed it,” he meets your eye, that same uncomfortable fluttering starts again in his chest, “being your ‘boyfriend’ i mean.”
you shuffle, turning to face him properly, “well.. i’ve enjoyed being your girlfriend,” lips twitching into a smile.
there’s something in the silence, a tension that feels ready to burst.
eddie does something he might live to regret, something so idiotic and foolish that put your entire friendship at risk.
he leans forward, hastily connecting your lips in what must be the world’s most awkward kiss.
you hesitate for too long of a moment, jerking your head back to stare into his eyes.
he’s done it. he’s ruined the single best thing he had left.
an apology begins to form on his tongue but your lips silence him, your hand finding his cheek to bring him closer. eddie’s eyes fall shut, slowly accepting this, that you wanted it too.
he repositions himself, at your mercy as you tug on his hair, now hovering above your body, elbows sinking into the mattress.
he can feel you now, your chest brushing against his, the way your heart rate seems to match his, thumping away in your chest.
“we should.. we should stop,” eddie pulls away, breathlessly panting with your lips still tracing over one another.
“no.. no,” you shake your head, your eyes shiny and full of something he can’t place.
“what?”
“kiss me again,” you demand.
he’s not quite certain he’s hearing you right. fear had forced him to tear himself away but now you were asking for him to do it again?
eddie falters for a second too long, forcing you into kissing him, smashing your lips to his as your fingers scramble to find the back of his neck under his hair.
oh my god oh my god oh my god.
your entire family are in this house and he’s going to desecrate this innocent bed with you, his fake-girlfriend.
he feels your knee slide up his thigh, allowing him more space between your legs. now it’s more than just your chests meshed together, his poor sweatpants tightening with every slight buck of your hips. blood rushing to his cock as you gasp and sigh into his mouth.
he has to pull himself back into the room when your hand slides from his neck to his crotch, lightly tracing over his throbbing cock.
making out could be easily laughed off but this- this was serious.
“you.. you wanna do this?” he asks, gasping for breath as you continue to kiss at the side of his mouth.
“i want to do this,” you reaffirm, dipping your hand into the waistband of his sweatpants, drawing out a hoarse groan from his throat.
your hand wraps around the base of his cock, leaving a trail of kisses to his jaw.
his eyelids flutter, struggling to stay open as you start pumping your fist, thumb circling his leaking tip.
“oh my god,” eddie breathes, jolting his hips into your fist.
this entire week he had been internalising all of these intrusive thoughts and feelings about you and now it felt like he might genuinely cum all over your hand, not even five minutes into this.
it doesn’t at all help when you’re panting and writhing around underneath him, delicate fingers making him feel like he’s flying.
“f-fuck,” he stutters, grabbing your forearm, “you have to stop,” regaining just enough composure to reopen his eyes.
“why?” concern rippling through your voice.
now he falters, gazing into your lust filled eyes, pupils all blown out and crazy. it would be despicable if he were to divulge his embarrassing secret to you.
so he takes your arm, pinning it above your head before starting his descent, a paper chain of kisses and light grazings down your neck and chest.
it’s entirely too intimate for just friends, fake relationship or not.
“oh,” you sigh, head rolling back onto the pillow.
eddie has control now, regaining power without a damn clue of what to do with it. your shorts come down with his free hand with a little help from you, your ankle now comes to rest on his shoulder.
he should feel stronger than he does, rather more intimidated and fearful that he’s going to disappoint.
“please..” you pout, “please touch me,” he wonders if you can sense his anxiety.
he lets go of his grip on your wrist, trailing down your quivering body until he meets your lower stomach. this new position allows him access to your heat, wet and waiting for him.
“shit,” he mutters, sliding a solitary finger between your slick folds, watching as your chest heaves in response. “you’re so pretty,” he can’t help but blurt out.
“shut up and touch me,” you snap, chasing his touch with your hips.
eddie’s not going to deprive you of that now, is he?
circling around your clit, noting the way you groan and grab onto his arm. not that he thinks that there’ll ever be a second time for this.
your eager hands grab at his sweatpants, hoping that that’ll be enough of a hint.
he’s not going to last long, that’s for certain.
fed up with his stalling, you tug his sweatpants down, aiding him in sliding them off and onto the floor with a muffled thump.
your arms fan out across the mattress, glancing down at the minimal space between your bodies and then back into his eyes.
his entire body shudders as he slides into your eager cunt, bumbling through all of the profanity in his vocabulary. watching as your jaw falls slack, wary that you couldn’t make too much noise.
perhaps it was the fact that he’d been brushing off any even slightly sexual thought for an entire week or maybe it was just true but eddie swears that no one had ever felt this good before.
“fuck,” he wails, hips slamming against the backs of your thighs, digging his fingertips into the soft, mailable flesh of your hip.
just the way you grip onto the blanket makes him dizzy, letting his eyesight go hazy, a blurred picture of you sprawled underneath him.
the pleasure is insurmountable, something snapping in his stomach when your hand reaches out for him, gripping onto his forearm.
“eds,” you gasp, just loud enough over his barely contained grunts, “more,” sickening eyes doing all the work for you.
there’s not much more of him left to give, already nudging against your soft spot, repositioning your calf higher on his shoulder to allow him deeper, receiving a sweet whimper in return.
“yeah,” you pant, over and over, fingernails latching onto his skin. his arms start to shake, still holding himself up over you as his orgasm begins to catch up with him.
“shit.. i don’t- i don’t think..” eddie swallows, struggling to stay composed as you tighten around him, looking up at him through batting eyelashes.
it makes his stomach twist, barely able to move as his high comes crashing down, overtaking his senses, sweaty bodies colliding as he collapses on top of you.
“oh shit.. oh my god,” he whines, release painting your thigh, the sheet and even your fucking t-shirt.
he’s not ready for a child but he’s certain that’d have been worth it.
eddie glances at you, subsequently moving from your body onto the mattress. the entire high he had been feeling comes tumbling down, now faced with the reality that you were no longer just friends.
the ceiling becomes incredibly interesting, both of you avoiding eye contact as the silence somehow grows louder.
for a room that was just full of lewd, filthy noises, it sure is quiet now.
the blanket rustles and eddie dares a peek, you stand at the edge of the bed, disheveled and still slightly flustered.
you look down at the stain he had left, tutting quietly, “thanks a lot.. gonna have to change now,” adding a soft chuckle.
“sorry.. cheaper than a baby though,” adding to your banter, it’s indescribable the relief he feels.
eddie watches as you rummage around in your suitcase, no longer shying away as you pull your shirt over your head, shimmying into your clean clothes.
when you rejoin him in bed, the tension is mostly gone, the lamp clicking off, encompassing the room in total and utter darkness.
there’s a further moment of silence wherein eddie isn’t sure if he should bolt and hide or embarrass himself further and say something stupid.
something- someone, brushes against his ribcage as you shuffle, your hand coming to rest on his stomach.
there’s not a word exchanged between you but eddie takes the hint, sliding your hand further over his midriff. it’s a pathetic attempt at cuddling but it makes him flutter all the same.
-
eddie wakes up sprawled face first across the bed, blinking at the bright light, not a trace of you in the room.
he fucked up. he fucked up so bad that you’ve decided to find your own way home and left him here.
shit.
he clambers out of bed, pulling his hastily discarded sweatpants back on, remembering every last detail of your night last night.
the guilt comes in waves, and then embarrassment and shame jump in to make it worse.
years of friendship down the drain and for what?
he just about builds enough courage to leave the room and venture downstairs, creeping out onto the hall when you come bounding up the stairs, meeting him in the cramped corridor.
“hi,” smiling coyly, playing the oblivious game.
“hey,” he nods, reciprocating the smile.
nothing was ruined. you’re fine.
“i was just coming to wake you..breakfast’s ready,” you fiddle with your thumbs, a completely different version of yourself than the one he saw last night.
“oh good,” eddie blinks, “i’m starving,” wanting to smash his palm into his face the second the words come out.
“great!” you exclaim, the painful cringe coming through on your face too.
the two of you walk down the stairs in silence, sitting at the table with a small knowing glance.
this house is huge. he’s sure no one else would’ve heard.
he’s midway through his coffee when your dad leans across the table, probing the two of you, “so, will you be trying for kids anytime soon?”
eddie damn near chokes on the searing hot liquid, coughing his gulp back up into the mug, combatting the burning sensation travelling down his throat and also up into his cheeks.
why would he ask that? over breakfast no less.
“uh no.. nope,” you answer for him, thankfully.
“that’s a shame,” your father stands from the table, sliding his plate into the soapy water before making his way over to eddie, clapping him on the back, “you’re gonna have to make an honest woman outta her first son,” before shuffling off into the living room.
he wants to die. in fact, he’d much rather the ground open up and swallow the two of you alive than to be sat at this breakfast table.
judging by the look on your face, you share the sentiment.
-
he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you.
he’s just not sure when or how. it’d be unfair for him to unload his feelings unto you at the beginning of the journey, not to mention also extremely inconvenient if you didn’t feel the same.
but then he’s also acutely aware that if he doesn’t force those words out soon, that they may never come out.
he’s just finished loading your bags into the back of his van, admittedly a little sad to be leaving.
it’s like, he could no longer pretend that what was going on was real. that last night might’ve just been a mistake and you want to cut ties here.
your phone blares from your hand, holding up a finger as you walk away to take the call.
eddie rehearses what he’s going to say to you. well, tries to.
i think you’re super cool, how about i become your boyfriend for real?
he cringes at the thought of it, it wasn’t really the declaration of love that you deserved.
the door opening startles him, your demeanour had done a complete one eighty, your shoulders slumped as you slide into the seat in silence.
“you all good?” eddie asks, wondering what had changed in such a short time.
“uh.. yeah.”
“y’sure?” he probes, not entirely convinced by your change in attitude.
“that was josh,” you swallow, looking straight ahead out of the windscreen, “he wants to see me when i’m back.. to talk.”
“oh,” he replies flatly, “wow okay.”
the life he had dreamed slowly crumbled before him, it was foolish to think that you’d just want to settle down with him now. he’d gotten ahead of himself and now had to reap the consequences.
“yeah..”
eddie doesn’t utter another word, instead, turning the key and starting the long, painful drive home.
maybe he’ll throw himself out of the van on the interstate. punishment for letting himself even slightly believe that you’d be interested in him too.
-
josh is waiting outside of your building when eddie pulls up, smug grin in tow.
tempted to just keep driving, smash into the side of his expensive shiny car and then reverse over his spindly little body.
that doesn’t happen of course.
instead, eddie keeps his head ducked low, muttering a low see you later before you clamber out. there’s so much left unsaid, even a complete idiot could see that.
he doesn’t watch as you walk over to your ex, certainly doesn’t want to see how his hands meet the small of your back and the way you seem to relax into his touch.
not a chance.
it’s eating him alive. even with the windows rolled down entirely, he’s sweating. as if it’s gnawing at his skin, trying to find a way out.
fuckfuckfuck.
tyres screech along the tarmac, his hands shaking as he turns the wheel. something otherworldly and dangerous overtakes his senses as he tears off back down the same road he’d just traveled.
and maybe he’d regret it and maybe it’d ruin your friendship forever but this week couldn’t have been for nothing.
you had to at least know.
eddie’s palms are wet, holding onto the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip. he doesn’t recall the journey to your apartment being so fucking long but he feels like he’s in this stuffy van for an eternity.
the moment he pulls onto that familiar street, bile rises in his throat.
maybe josh would have sweet talked his way back into your life and he’d get his ass beat. or maybe you’d laugh him out of there, telling him to never contact you again.
he supposes that there’s not much left to lose now.
eddie hops out of his van without so much as a look back, bounding up the short path as the door swings open, nearly knocking him for six.
“eddie,” you remark, phone gripped in your hand. your jaw hangs open, what looks like tears stain your cheeks. “i was trying to call you.”
frankly, he’s still out of breath from the exhilaration of it all, struggling to find his words as he stares gormless at you, “my phone’s dead.. i didn’t- didn’t know.. what’s wrong?” mind immediately jumping to josh.
what had he done?
“nonono.. nothing’s wrong, i just..” you trail off, your gaze not once breaking, “why are you here?”
eddie’s mind goes blank, why was he here?
to tell you that he thinks he’s in love with you? he can’t say that.
“you.. left something- in the van.”
idiot.
total fucking fool.
“oh!” swallowing the shock of his arrival, “what? what is it?”
why are you both dancing around this? he’s sure you feel it too. maybe. that could be the adrenaline speaking.
“nothing.. you didn’t leave anything- i don’t know why i said that.” shaking his head, if he weren’t so nervous, he’d have been crippled with embarrassment. “look, i have to tell you something,” biding his time, hoping your crazed ex won’t pop out of a bush and pummel his head into the ground.
“eddie..” you start, that solemn tone he was dreading to hear.
“no, let me say it,” he tries again, clearing his throat, “i need to s-“
“-eddie,” cutting him off mid-sentence, bounding up to him with your arms extended, throwing them around his neck as you press your lips to his.
it’s almost enough force to knock him on his ass, his hands coming to meet your waist in an attempt to stabilise both of you.
you pull away, lips still pouted slightly, “sorry.. what were you gonna say?”
eddie can’t recall a word of the speech he’d halfheartedly rehearsed. “well shit.. doesn’t matter now,” once again pressing his lips to yours, swaying in the evening breeze as everything seems to fall into place.
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scuderiahoney · 5 months
Text
Stick Around
Oscar Piastri x bestfriend!reader
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Masterlist
Summary: You’ve been searching for your soulmate your whole life. Maybe you’ve just been looking in the wrong place.
Word Count: 4.1k
Warnings: alcohol/intoxication, cheating/infidelity (not by a main character I promise) mild swearing, excessive use of italics
|Age 20|
“You can’t seriously still be reading that stuff,” Oscar says.
You peer at him over the top of your magazine.
“What stuff?” You ask, playing innocent.
“Your horoscope,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Haven’t you outgrown that yet?”
You shrug, directing your gaze back to the page in front of you. Today, you should avoid the color pink and embrace your skepticism. Oscar’s doing enough of the last part for the both of you. You could gain a great deal of information from social interactions. That’s helpful- you’ve been in search of some gossip. Your soulmate is just a click away- wait, no, that’s an ad. You huff and set the magazine down on the table. Oscar nods in agreement.
“I just think maybe it’s better to live your life without worrying about what the stars say,” Oscar says, waving his hands around in a way that you think is supposed to represent the stars. “Just, like… do what you want to do.”
“I do,” you mutter dryly. “Doesn’t hurt to have some advice, though.”
The two of you have always been like this. Oscar is a skeptic, you’re a believer. He calls it being easy to brainwash, says it in a teasing way that makes you glare at him every time. He’s taken it as his responsibility to keep you from falling for things. You’ve told him time and time again that you’re fine on your own. You just like the idea of predestiny, that what’s going to happen was always meant to.
Oscar is just worried you’ll join the first cult you cross paths with.
|Age 5|
It’s the day after you turn 5 when you first hear the word soulmate. Sol-meight. You sound it out through your lips, sticky with jam from your breakfast. Your best friend at the time, a girl whose name you’ve long since forgotten, had said it.
“S’when you’re meant to be,” she explains, in that all knowing tone that only little kids who know nothing at all seem to have. “Like, my mum and dad say they’re soulmates.”
Oscar, who’s sitting next to you, scoffs. “Everyone’s parents say that. Doesn’t mean it’s true.”
He’s taller than you, even sitting down, hair cut short after one of his sisters stuck gum in it a few days ago. His cheeks are rosy red, and there’s cream cheese on his nose. Years later, Oscar’s face will be one of the first ones you ever remember meeting. Right now, he’s just the boy in your class whose mother knows your mother, and because of that, he’s the boy who rides to school with you in the backseat. He’s not the worst, you guess. He’s… okay. Sort of just… always there.
“Is too!” Your friend says, shaking her head, pigtails bouncing. “Mum says there’s signs.”
“What kinda signs?” You ask, and Oscar turns to look at you in disbelief.
She shrugs. “Dunno. I’ll ask later.”
She comes back to the breakfast table the next day with a magazine page, torn haphazardly and slightly crumpled. On it is a list of signs someone could be your soulmate. The two of you pore over the page at every available opportunity for at least a week, barely able to read all the words.
Your friend forgets about soulmates a month later and moves on to an obsession with Barbie dolls. You carry the magazine page with you for years after that, until it’s worn and falling apart. Then you copy down the list into a safer place, worried you’ll lose it forever. 15 Signs He’s Your Soulmate, written with magic marker on pink construction paper and stowed away in your desk.
|Age 10|
“I hate olives,” you sneer, staring at the very last slice of pizza.
It’s a birthday party. You can’t for the life of you understand why there’s pizza with olives on it. Olives don’t belong on pizza- not much does, in your opinion. Just pepperoni, really. Maybe a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese, if you’re feeling fancy.
Katy, one of your classmates, is standing next to you. “I love olives. Here, I’ll pick them off for you and you can have the last slice.”
The pizza still tastes a bit like olives in the end, probably baked into the cheese, but it’s better than it would’ve been. Katy is your best friend after that. The two of you are inseparable from the moment you get to school until the moment you leave. You beg your mothers for sleepovers on the weekends, for day trips during holiday breaks. YouandKaty. Your names melt together until they become one.
Oscar still rides to school with you in the morning. Sometimes, Katy does too. Katy doesn’t like Oscar. She doesn’t like most boys, calls them gross. Since Katy thinks boys are gross, you do too.
“Be nice to Oscar,” your mother tells you one morning. “He’s not done anything to you.”
You’re in the backseat of the car, on the way to his house. “He’s a boy. Boys are gross.”
Your mother sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose. She says your name sternly, and you shrink in your seat. When Oscar gets in, you say hello and force a smile.
Oscar’s the one who finds you crying on the playground. You thought you’d chosen a better hiding place, really- nobody had bugged you in your spot between the two large myrtle trees. But Oscar finds you anyways. You can’t even bring yourself to tell him to go away, too busy feeling sorry for yourself.
“Wha’s wrong?” He asks.
His cheeks are red- he’s likely been running around with the other boys. You shrug, pulling up another clump of grass and letting it fall from your fingers. Oscar sighs, scuffs his toe in the dirt.
“Katy doesn’t wanna be friends anymore,” you say, rubbing at your bare knee. “She says I’m not cool enough.”
Katy likes olives. You don’t. It’s on the soulmate list. You’re meant to be best friends.
Oscar’s quiet for a moment. Then- “That’s stupid. You’re like, the coolest person I know.”
You look up at him with wide eyes. “Shut up.”
“M’serious,” he says. He holds his hand out to you. “Wanna come play cricket with the gross boys?”
You take his hand, wipe your tears with your other hand. “Yeah. I do.”
|Age 12|
“Are you and Dad soulmates?” You ask your mother one morning, before you even leave the house.
She’s standing at the counter, a piece of toast in her hand, half eaten. Her coffee is half drank, too.
She tilts her head at you. “What do you mean, love?”
“Like, when you met, did you just know he was the one? Did it feel meant to be?”
She laughs. “Oh, god no. We were polar opposites. Barely spoke to each other for the first year after we met.”
You stare at her in surprise. “What changed?”
She sighs, wistfully, staring into her mug. “He asked me if I wanted an orange. I said yes. And when he handed it to me, he’d peeled it for me.”
You blink. “Because you hate peeling oranges.”
“I do,” she agrees. “Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s an action. I think love is more about the choices we make and the things we remember about each other than whatever is written in the stars, honey.”
|Age 15|
There’s a boy on the football team- Ryan. Ryan has dark, curly hair and long, long eyelashes and this smile that makes your heart melt and your brain all fuzzy. Ryan doesn’t like olives, either, but he has a birthmark on the back of his right hand in the shape of a lopsided heart, and if you squint hard enough, you have one that matches on the back of your left arm. You stare at in the mirror for hours after he points it out, his hand on your arm.
You stare at your lips in the mirror for hours, too, after he kisses you for the first time. You think maybe you look different. You must. You’d never been kissed before, but Ryan hadn’t minded.
You go on group dates with him, because you’re nervous and your parents think you’re a bit too young to really be dating. You go to the mall, the movies, the diner down the street from the school. It’s your first taste of freedom.
Oscar asks you if you really like Ryan, like- “like like him?”, one day when you’re sitting in his backyard. Your mothers are inside, drinking wine. His sisters are in the pool, you’re laying out in the sun. Oscar sits under an umbrella and squints at the brightness of the world around him.
“Yeah,” you say, in the same tone you’d say duh or of course. “I think he’s my soulmate.”
“Why’s that?” Oscar asks tilting his head.
“We have matching birthmarks,” you say, again, in the same tone.
Oscar forms his mouth into a little o shape. You squint at him, pushing yourself to sit up.
“Why’re you so worried about it, anyways?”
“M’not,” Oscar says, crossing his leg over his knee. “S’just. He’s kind of an arse, isn’t he?”
He whispers the curse word so his sisters won’t hear. Oscar’s big into karting and racing right now, and the older boys at the tracks swear like sailors. There’s a swear jar stuffed to the brim sitting on the kitchen counter inside, right next to the half empty wine bottle.
Ryan is a bit of an arse, you’ll admit. To almost everyone.
“He’s nice to me,” you shrug. “He brought me flowers, yesterday. Isn’t that what matters?”
Oscar shrugs. He doesn’t ask about Ryan again.
Oscar is the one who brings you flowers when Ryan cheats on you and the other girl tells the whole school. He brings them to your bedroom door and you let him in. He sits with you, even as you cry, the door open the parentally required six inches. He doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t tell you he warned you. He just stays.
When Oscar moves to England, you wave goodbye with a smile. Then you lock yourself in your room and bawl your eyes out for a week straight, harder than you ever did about Ryan.
|Age 18|
Your university roommate, Emma, was born on the same day as you, at the exact same time. Down to the minute. You find it out on your second day of living together. It’s fate, kismet, meant to be. The stars and planets were aligned exactly the same way when you both took your first breaths.
Oscar laughs when you tell him, though he does admit that it’s a pretty cool coincidence. You’re chatting with him on the phone, telling him about your first week of university. You talk a lot, despite the distance. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or whatever.
You and Emma aren’t in any classes together- you have completely different majors. Despite this, you still become fast friends. You study together in your room and in the library, meet up for meals, and join a book club together. When Emma gets invited to her very first uni party, she brings you along with her. Your closets become shared.
You visit her family over the winter break for a week. She lives closer to the beach, and you love getting to soak up the sun with her and meet all the childhood friends you’ve heard stories about. Oscar comes home for his break and texts you, wondering when you’ll be back and if you’ll even have time for me, or are you too cool for me now?
You tackle him with a hug when you see him, standing at the kitchen counter in your house when you get there. He’s laughing and pushing you off of him, acting like he didn’t miss you just as much. You know he did. It’s written all over the smile on his face.
Emma visits your family later in the break, and that’s when you have your first fight.
“He’s definitely in love with you,” she insists from her spot on the air mattress on your floor.
She’s talking about Oscar, who she just met today. You’d brought her with to a barbecue at his family’s house. You’re regretting that choice. She’s spent all night afterwards pointing out all the signs that he’s in love with you- his hand on your shoulder, the look in his eyes, the way he smiled at you.
“He’s not,” you say, cheeks burning hot. “He’s- we’re friends.”
“Friends, right. Guys and girls can’t be just friends,” she says.
“Yes, they can!” You say indignantly.
Emma ignores you, rolls over, and goes to sleep. She leaves for home the next day- not earlier than she was supposed to, but it feels weird anyways. When you get back to campus, things feel different. You never really talk about the fight, though there wasn’t much to talk about, anyways. It’s not like she’s mean to you- the two of you still hang out, still see each other often. But Emma makes new friends, and you do too, and you stop doing everything together. It’s alright, you suppose, it’s just…
You were supposed to be destined to be friends. But soulmates shouldn’t be this easy to let go of. It’s written in the stars, it’s shouldn’t fade away like this.
Months ago, you and Emma had talked about spending the holiday break somewhere far away- somewhere tropical, exotic, so grown up and chic. But it hasn’t come up lately, and then she mentions a trip she’s taking with some friends from her classes. You book a flight to England instead and see Oscar in his new home for the first time.
You have new roommates next year. None of them have the same birthdate as you. You think that’s okay.
|Age 21|
There’s a stain on your dress, someone’s wine or sangria or cranberry juice that they’d been too clumsy with. You suppose it could be yours- you’re really not sure. It’s your fault for wearing such a light color to a club like this.
It’s your birthday. You’ve been able to drink for a few years, but it’s still your birthday, and for once, Oscar is there for it. Or really, you’re there for it, there being England. You’re on yet another trip to visit him, money saved and scraped together from your job on your breaks from school. Oscar helped pay for the plane ticket as a birthday present, and your parents got you a new luggage set to take along.
Oscar’s disappeared- at the bar, you remember, closing out his tab. You check your phone- 2:22 am. It’s really time you should be headed home-
You’re jostled from behind, and moments later, you feel cool liquid deep down your back. You turn, and there’s a guy standing there, sandy blonde hair and a terrified look on his face.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, British accent smoothing the words over. “I didn’t mean to-“
“S’okay,” you tell him, though you wrinkle your nose at the feeling of what was likely beer running down your back. “The dress was stained already.”
The man sighs. “It’s not okay- let me make it up to you. Can I buy you a drink?”
You frown. “I think I’m supposed to be leaving. My friend just went to pay.”
“Oh. That’s too bad.” The guy’s eyes light up, then. “Wait, how about I take you on a date?”
Your heart skips a beat in your chest. 2:22, you remember. Angel numbers. You are in the right place at the right time.
“I’m only here for a couple more days,” you say, cautiously.
“I’m free tomorrow if you are,” he suggest. “Well, more like later today, but-“
“Yeah, okay!” You’d at brightly, and hopefully not too eagerly. “I’m free.”
He’s holding out his phone for you to put your number in when Oscar pops up. He looks between the two of you with raised brows. “Everything alright?”
“He’s taking me on a date later today,” you explain, tapping the last number. “Because he spilled beer on my dress. Can you check if I put my number in right? My fingers aren’t working right.”
Oscar laughs, leans forward, and nods. “That’s right.”
You don’t remember getting back to Oscar’s apartment. You barely even remember the guy from the bar until Oscar brings it up that morning, a teasing tone in his voice. Suddenly you’re checking your phone every minute, looking for a text from him. You name him Angel Boy, mentioning the angel numbers you’d seen just before you bumped into him. Oscar, well versed in your obsession with things that are just meant to be, rolls his eyes affectionately.
When the sun is trending towards the horizon and Angel Boy still hasn’t called or even texted you, your mood sours. You plant yourself on the couch, an episode of some stupid reality show playing. You’re not paying attention, only staring at your phone.
By the time 7:00 rolls around, you know it’s a lost cause. You can hear Oscar in the other room, shuffling around, and you feel tears well up in your eyes. There’s got to be someone out there who’s actually meant to be yours, right? One of these times the signs will be right, and it’ll all work out. It’s just… you’re getting discouraged.
Oscar appears in front of you and slips your phone out of your hands. He shoves it into his own pocket. He hands you a jacket, one of his, and you stare up at him with wide eyes.
“I’m taking you out to dinner,” he says, as he reaches to brush the tears from your cheeks. “Just because he’s not going to text you, doesn’t mean you should just sit here all night.”
You could cry even harder at that, at the fact that Oscar cares enough to try and break you out of your moping. You don’t really want to go out, but he has this hopeful look on his face. Both of you don’t need to be sad today. So you stand up, pull the jacket over your arms, and take a deep breath. You walk out of the apartment, your arm linked with his.
The ramen bar you go to is probably better than anywhere the guy would’ve taken you, anyways. If you’re being honest, the company is better, too.
|Age 22|
Oscar flies you out to the Netherlands to see him race. You’d been at the Melbourne Grand Prix, of course, but he’d insisted he’d fly you out for at least one race in his first season- promised it years ago, when Formula One was just a dream on his bucket list. Zandvoort works well- it fits into your schedule, and the summer break starts right afterwards, so he’ll actually have time to spend with you.
In the days leading up to the race, he’s extremely busy and extremely apologetic about it. You reassure him that you understand, that you knew what you were getting into, knew he’d be busy. You wander around the paddock, say hi to Logan- who you know only slightly better than all the other drivers- and keep yourself entertained. You spend time with Oscar when you get the chance- between interviews and practices, stolen moments of privacy in his driver’s room. It’s nice, it really is, but it’s also… weird.
You’ve been thinking a lot, lately, about what your mother once said about soulmates and love. For all the soul searching you’ve done, all the stars you’ve tried to read, you’ve come up empty. You’ve resigned yourself to the fact that maybe there’s just not anyone out there for you. Maybe you’re not meant to have a soulmate.
The thing about letting go of that pressure, though, is that it leaves space. Not a hole, not an emptiness, just… space. Room for other things to sneak in and make their home and grow. Somewhere along the lines- you don’t know when, maybe it’s been there all along- a seed had been planted. Now the roots are digging cracks in your heart, the leaves are shading out every other thought, and there are flowers blooming.
For months, now, your heart has been jumping in your chest every time Oscar texts you. You can’t wipe the grin off your face when he calls. You’ve been following every race, waking up at odd hours to cheer him on, sending him selfies with the tv to prove it to him, to make sure he knows you’re watching. You feel a little crazy, because suddenly he’s all you can think about.
Maybe love is about choices. You start making them, start choosing him. The only question now is if he’ll choose you, too.
The whole weekend is chaos. Oscar crashes in practice, sending himself and your heart spinning. He’s okay, thank god- though his mother texts you frantically, asking if he’s really okay. Then the race itself is even more chaotic, between the rain and the crashes and all the stuff in between. Oscar ends up in the points, though not as high as he’d hoped to be. You cheer for him either way.
You stick around the paddock all the way through his debrief, even when he tries to say you can head back to the hotel without him. Eventually, you leave with him and Lando, his arm around your shoulders the whole way to the car that’s waiting. It’s nice. He’s warm. Lando is making small talk, trying to get to know his teammates best friend, the one Oscar never shuts up about. You feel your face grow hot and hope Oscar doesn’t notice.
In the hotel lobby, Oscar makes a stop at the complimentary snack bar. Lando says something about Kim, his trainer, getting after him, which Oscar ignores. The three of you ride up together in the elevator, with Lando demanding most of your attention as he begs for stories about Oscar as a kid. Oscar’s quiet- you wonder if the weekend is weighing on him more than he’d previously let on.
You say goodnight to Lando and then Oscar scans you into the hotel room. Two beds, a couch, and a balcony that the two of you had eaten breakfast on that morning. You walk over to your bed and sit on the edge, flopping down onto your back.
Something lands on your stomach, softly. You look down, and your throat suddenly feels tight. It’s an orange. It’s a peeled orange. Oscar is standing at the window, pulling the curtains closed. His back is to you.
You blink, picking it up delicately. “You peeled it for me.”
“You hate peeling them,” he says. It’s very matter of fact. The same tone he’d use to say duh or of course.
You stare at his silhouette, the slope of his shoulders, the soft puff of his hair. You sit up, stomach turning. Suddenly, you need to be close to him. You stand up, orange in hand, pulling one of the pieces from it. You hold it lightly between your fingertips. Love is an action.
You hold it out to him. He takes it, smiles down at you.
“I love you, you know that?” You say, before you lose the courage.
“Yeah, I love you too,” he says, giving you a goofy look.
“No, like-“ you pause. Maybe you shouldn’t do this. Maybe you should just-
But it’s too late, because a wave of understanding washes over his face. His eyes go wide, lips parting. His hand pauses halfway to his mouth, the orange slice still in his fingers.
“Oh,” he says, voice cracking. His face splits into a grin. “Jeez, took you long enough to catch up, didn’t it?”
When he drops the orange slice on the floor so he can grab your face and kiss you, you’re somehow still so startled that you also drop the rest of the orange. That’s okay, though. He’ll peel another one for you without you even having to ask. Stars light up behind your eyes at the feeling of his lips on yours, and you realize then that maybe soulmates are just the people who choose to stick around.
…..
Deep in your desk in your childhood home, there’s a piece of paper. It’s been unfolded and refolded a million times. At the top, the title says, 15 Signs He’s Your Soulmate in messy, primary school handwriting. You pull it from your drawer and uncap the gel pen that sits in the cup on the desk.
At the bottom of the list, beneath your faded magic marker scrawl, you add:
#16: He peels your oranges.
#16: childhood best friend??
#16: YOU JUST KNOW
little bit of a different format for this one. as always, feel free to check out my other fics and tell me what you think!
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itsmebytch001 · 4 months
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PILOT:
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Angel had noticed Alastor had barley moved from his frozen stance awaiting by the door like a statue looking off into the distance clutching his staff with an unusually tight grip.
Angel: "Hey Husk, what's got Al all frozen like that?"
Husk looked up from his rag shining his glass and glanced over to Alastor still frozen and unblinking.
Husk: "Ugh, His kids coming to visit, they don't see each other often but whenever they do see each other, Al makes a whole big thing of it, stressin me out" He grumped out.
Angel: "His daughter? How is that possible? Ain't me like, Asexual or something? How you gonna have a kid if you won't bone?"
Husk: "I dunno, maybe she's adopted, she got his eye's though"
Angel: "Huh, so you've met her?"
Husk: "A couple times"
Angel: "Is she like him...with the radio and the tentacles?"
Niffty: "Nah"
Angel: "Ah! Niff Jesus we gotta but a bell on ya, you can't just run up on a guy like that jeez"
Niffty: "She's more into modern tech, and no tentacles, none that Ive seen" She said caressing her knife slowly.
Angel: "aha, well why she coming in now? it's been like five month's I ain't never heard him talk about her"
Husk: "No idea, last I heard they fell out after she brought a TV"
Niffty: "The guy hates Tech" She said, scratching her knife into the wooden table front of the bar.
*knock Knock*
Alastor's already strained smile expanded to reach his eyes as he strides to the door swiftly opening the door to reveal...
Alastor: "Y/N! So very good to see you my dear, Oh how I've missed you" He said pulling her in to the foyer in a tight, unnatural embrace , Angel leered over to get a proper look at her, from across the room little could be seen her face squashed into her fathers torso as she pushed herself away he squinted to look at her face, and indeed he did have his eyes, but little else, except the yellow teeth.
Y/n: "Good to see you to Dad, I've missed you too i guess" She said under her breath.
Alastor's eye twitched, you had just walked in the door and already you are testing him.
Alastor: "I heard that My love, keep your snide little comments to yourself, m'kay?" He asked, snapping his neck to the left.
Alastor: "Chum's! come greet my dear Y/n won't you?!" He bellowed pushing you towards the bar by the small of your back.
Y/n: "Dad, I already know Niff and Husk I-"
Alastor: "OH! but you haven't met Angel Dust, oh he's such a character" He said practically shoving you onto a stool across from Angel.
Y/n: "Hey Husk"
Husk: "Hey Y/n...you want me to make you something?"
Y/n: "Yeah, Gin and Tonic please" You said slumped over the bar.
Alastor: "She'll take a strawberry lemonade"
Y/n: "Dad I'm too old for thi-"
Alastor: "She'll take a strawberry Lemonade" He said again sternly looking you in the eye.
Alastor: "Now my Dear, where oh where are you belongings'?"
Y/n: "Just outside the door" You answered as Husk poured you a Strawberry Lemonade passing it over to you.
Alastor: "Good good, Husk go take them to Y/n's room won't you?"
Husk: "I'm a bartender not a bags boy Al"
Alastor: " I said go get her bags"
Husk lowly exhaled and dragged his sorry self towards the door.
Alastor: "right well, Angel this is my daughter Y/n"
Angel: "Daughter aye? And how exactly did that happen?"
Alastor: "Why what ever do you mean dear Angel?"
Angel: "Ain't you asexual? Can't exactly have a kid if you ain't boned someone"
Alastor: "Oh! well I made her of course"
Angel: "What?"
Y/n: "He made me, as a precaution"
Alastor: "Oh no dear we've been over this, I made you because I wanted to raise you"
Y/n: "Uh huh"
Angel: "Wait wait, I'm confused did you make her as like, a Frankenstein while you were alive or like..?"
Alastor: "No no, I bared no children when I was alive I made her down here"
Angel: "Okay but HOW?"
Alastor: "with some gold dust, an old voodoo doll and a rib of mine. It doesn't hurt to to supplied with a sum of power and magic of course"
Angel: "...uh huh" he watched as Husk dragged your bags up the stairs.
Alastor: "And my lovley creation will be staying with us for some times"
Y/n: "A month, that's all"
Alastor: "Oh a whole month! we have so much catching up too do, shame you won't ever answer any of my messages"
Y/n: "maybe I would if it weren't in the form of a telegram!"
Alastor: "Oh you young people, with your phones and TV's, whatever happnded to radio"
Y/n: "oh god please don't start" He patted your head as you slumped even further down the bar.
Alastor: "Yes well, while you chat with Angel I'll be sure to arrange the others I'm sure they'll be dying to meet you"
Y/n: "Yeah, okay Dad" you said dismissively sipping on your straw, Alastor of course saw this as his body tensed forcing himself to walk off following Husk up the stairs to corral the other tenants.
Angel: "So, Toot's you don't seem all that happy to see your pop's why is that?"
Y/n: "I didn't want to come here, It's just till extermination day since that dates been moved up"
Angel: "Oh, so your coming here for safety? well this place get's attacked every other week so I'm not sure if that's a great idea"
Y/n: "Oh no, I don't want to be here, It's just my Dad is convinced my place isn't safe enough, and he goes on about how we barley chat (mainly because he refuses to get a phone) and like 'how would I know if you were slain, am I just supposed to go looking for you sliced corpse' and besdies it's not like I have a choice so here I am, until the end of this month and then I'll finally go home again and not talk to the fucker for another seven years"
Angel: "Damm, if you hate the guy so much why not just not come, technically your Hell born so I'm sure you could leave the city, go on down somewhere like Pride, or Lust he can't come dragging you back"
Y/n: "Oh, but he can"
Angel: "How? Guy can't leave the ring"
Y/n: "You've seen that keyring of that little doll on his staff?"
Angel: "Yeah?"
Y/n: "That's me. He shakes that thing a couple times and BOOM and back where he wants me, coming 'voluntarily' just feel's less shit I guess"
Angel:" Oh...Damm" he looked over around the bar awkwardly tapping his foot waiting for Al to come back while you sipped on your god damm strawberry Lemonade.
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Pt 2 anyone?
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hawkinsbnbg · 11 days
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Four years after everything ended, Steve and Eddie ran into each other by chance.
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In 1990, when Steve stumbled upon Eddie in a coffee shop in Chicago of all places, he didn't expect to end up on his back that night with the other man pounding him into the mattress.
At some point, he was too cock-drunk to care about his dignity so he kept begging Eddie to come inside him.
"What if I knock you up, babygirl?" Eddie nipped at his chin teasingly.
In response, Steve only clenched around the thick cock tighter, earning a guttural groan from the other man.
He bit his lip and smiled sweetly, "Guess you're gonna be a daddy 'cause m'not on birth control right now."
Eddie just cursed under his breath and pulled out to take off the condom. When he slid into Steve again, they both let out a strangled moan.
In the end, Steve had been railed into oblivion with a stomach full of hot cum.
A week later, Eddie sought him out again, wanting to continue their breeding process.
"It's for science," Eddie murmured as he bottomed out inside Steve.
"Yeah," Steve snorted, breathless and a little bit cross-eyed because of how big the other man was. "How noble of you."
"Thank you, sweetheart," Eddie grinned, eyes crinkled warmly. “Think it’s gonna catch this time?”
“Dunno,” Steve wrapped his legs around the resilient waist as the other man started moving, grazing his sweet spots effortlessly. “But we should keep trying until we succeed.”
“You’re right,” Eddie leaned down and kissed him soundly. “Fuck, you’re always right, sweetheart.”
“Thanks, uh–” Steve mewled and rolled his eyes back when Eddie nailed his prostate. “I– I tried my best.”
“My good girl,” Eddie kissed him again but it was messy and sloppy. “So smart, so pretty. Bet you’re already thinking about our children’s education, hm?”
“Y– Yeah,” Steve nodded blindly, jaw hanging open so Eddie’s tongue could fuck his mouth.
At this point, he didn't know what he was even talking about anymore. He just babbled nonsense and drooled at the mindless pleasure that coursed through him incessantly.
Above him, Eddie kept going on and on about how they were going to make a happy family, how he was going to be a great mom, how Eddie was going to be the kind of dad who would spoil their children rotten.
And yeah, Steve found himself very into the idea. Not only the hypothetical pregnancy part but also the part where he and Eddie built a home together.
“Be mine, sweetheart,” Eddie whispered between the kisses, desperate and pleading. “Gonna treat you right, gonna be a good husband for you, gonna make you breakfast, gonna help you pick the lawn, gonna sing ABBA songs with you, gonna do the dishes for you, gonna give you my everything, gonna–”
“Shut up, I’ll be yours,” Steve clung to the other man and sobbed. “All yours, Eddie. All yours.”
It was a long time coming, an overdue confession that neither of them had been brave enough to tell each other.
But now, now when their family and friends and the fucking world were finally safe, they had nothing to fear anymore.
They were as free and in love as they could ever be.
And when Eddie’s lips met his own in a tender kiss, it felt like coming home.
A quick stroke on his neglected cock was enough to tip Steve over, prompting a high-pitched moan from him and sending sparks flying in his blurry vision.
Eddie followed after him immediately, burying inside him to the hilt and filling him up with a deep groan.
After a few seconds, Eddie pulled out carefully and drew him in a lazy kiss before collapsing beside him.
For a moment, they just lied there to recollect their wits.
“You meant it?” Steve asked quietly once they both calmed down, afraid that it was just sex-addled talk.
“Everything,” Eddie propped up on his elbow to look at him seriously. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I do you, baby.”
“Me too,” Steve smiled softly. “Been waiting for you, Eds.”
“I’m honored, sweetheart,” Eddie gave him a warm smiled.
Then they moved away from the wet spot to cuddle.
Later, they would have to get up to take a thorough shower, and maybe order something to eat if the mood struck.
But for now, Steve was content to doze off in his boyfriend’s loving arms.
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steddieas-shegoes · 4 months
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count on your courage
for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is what makes you brave'
rated t | 1,508 words | cw: coming out (one goes horribly wrong offscreen, one goes perfectly right), steve gets kicked out | tags: wayne munson is the best uncle, secret relationship, steve has bad parents, hurt/comfort, wayne adopts steve
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Steve should've gone to Robin's probably.
But when you're in a state of shock after being kicked out of your house because your dad found a handwritten love note from your boyfriend, you don't always think clearly.
He was sitting outside the trailer, on the gravel driveway, rocks digging into his ass and thighs, thinking about how uncomfortable the back seat of his car was for sleeping. He managed to grab his sandwich bag of savings, which was barely enough for a motel for a couple of weeks, but maybe he'd find a place that would be more understanding.
After Vecna, most places were open to any arrangement on payment as long as they got something.
"Steve?" Eddie's voice filtered to him from the front door of the trailer.
It wasn't until he heard Eddie's voice that he realized Wayne's truck was parked next to Eddie's van, which meant Wayne was home, which meant Wayne would be confused as hell.
Eddie's hands were on his shoulders, worried and tugging him out of his own thoughts.
"Hey," Steve said.
"What're you doin' here, Stevie? You said you weren't comin' over because you have an early shift tomorrow," Eddie's eyes were wide, and Steve realized he must assume there's an emergency.
"Oh. I did say that." Steve sighed. "I actually don't know why I came here."
"Shit, Steve. Did you hit your head? Is it...you know?"
"No. To both. Just-" Steve didn't want to alarm him, but he did have to say what was going on. "My parents kicked me out. Well, my dad did. My mom just kinda...let him?"
"What? Jesus Christ, Stevie. Come inside, you're shivering," Eddie pulled him up so he was standing awkwardly in front of him. "How long have you been out here?"
"Dunno," he shrugged. Which was true. He knew his parents got home around five, and his dad had stormed out of his office around six, yelling about Steve's belongings being where they shouldn't be. It didn't take long after that for all hell to break loose. "What time is it now?"
Eddie looked down at his watch. "A little after nine."
"Huh. I guess close to two hours."
Eddie cussed under his breath, then wrapped an arm around Steve's waist.
It's not like they had to worry about being seen; What used to be a full trailer park now mostly consisted of the Munson's new trailer and Max's trailer that was only inhabited for a few hours a night, if that.
"Ed? Everthin' okay?" Wayne called from the porch.
Steve looked up, panicked.
It's not that he hadn't been around Wayne plenty of times, especially while Eddie was in the hospital. He'd run into him a few times at the trailer as he passed through the kitchen to pack his lunch for work or when he was heading to bed when Steve was picking Eddie up for work.
It was more like he felt like everything was written clear across his face, and if Wayne found out about him, he'd find out about Eddie, and what if he kicked Eddie out?
They couldn't both be homeless.
Eddie didn't verbally respond, but he must have done something to let Wayne know everything wasn't okay.
"C'mon in then," he gestured, opening the front door for them both to walk through. "Get that blanket off my chair for him."
Steve didn't know why he needed a blanket, it's not like it was even cold.
But as he was gently pushed down onto the couch, he noticed how much he actually was shivering, and realized he must've forgotten his jacket in his haste to leave his house. It wasn't winter, but the chill in at night was too much to be outside without a jacket.
The blanket was soft, and smelled a lot like Wayne's cologne, the one he insisted he didn't wear, but Steve could always smell just a hint of it lingering in the air after he left the room. It was a comforting smell, one he'd gotten used to in the background. One he'd come to associate with Eddie, and calm, and home.
He could hear Wayne and Eddie whispering by the kitchen counter, but couldn't quite focus on the words they were saying.
Wayne sat down across from him, right on the coffee table, like it wasn't a piece of furniture specifically designed for holding things that were never touched. Eddie sat down next to him, leaving no space, and no way to mistake how close they were.
He tried to scoot away, just leave a few inches of space so Wayne wouldn't question it. Eddie's hand on his knee stopped him.
"You wanna tell me about what's going on?" Wayne asked softly.
"I'm fine-"
"I didn't ask if you were fine. I asked if you wanted to tell me what was goin' on." Wayne's voice was gruff, but his face was open, his body leaning in closer to them so he could listen to what Steve had to say. "You ain't gotta tell me everythin', but if you're gonna be stayin', I'd like to know why you look scared outta your mind."
Eddie's hand moved to his back, rubbing in circles, comforting. "It's okay, sweetheart."
Wayne didn't even flinch at the pet name.
Maybe he was just used to Eddie being a bit too loose with his words, or maybe he actually knew.
"My parents um," Steve silently asked Eddie for permission to say more. Eddie nodded. "They found a note from Eddie to me. And they figured out some stuff about um..."
"It's alright. He knows about me," Eddie said softly.
"Go on, kid," Wayne said.
"They found out that he's my boyfriend from the note, and they didn't want their letdown of a son in their house anymore. I had to grab what I could in just a couple minutes and get out."
Wayne's hand rested on his knee now. "Thanks for tellin' me, son."
Steve broke.
The tears came so quickly, so viciously, he couldn't breathe. Eddie's arms wrapped around him, pulled him tight to his chest.
Wayne's hand was on his back, an extra comforting weight as he let the events of the evening sink in.
His parents didn't love him, didn't want him, didn't even care to hear about how lucky he was to finally have someone who got him.
But Wayne was here, showing him acceptance.
Eddie was here, holding him and loving him through this.
And when Robin heard, she'd be by his side, making threats that would make him laugh.
Eventually, he would tell the others, maybe even Hopper.
But for now, he held the courage Eddie gave him close to his chest, used this as a practice run.
"I'm gonna make us some hot chocolate. You got any stuff in your car to bring in?" Wayne asked.
"Just one bag."
"We'll get it in the mornin'. You can borrow some of Ed's clothes tonight. And you let me worry about gettin' your stuff. Me and Jim can handle it." Wayne stood up and started walking towards the kitchen. "And Steve?"
"Yeah?" he pulled away to wipe his eyes and look at Wayne, who was smiling at him.
"I don't expect ya to pay rent, but I do expect ya to help with chores. Your days for dishes can be Mondays and Thursdays and you'll be in charge of groceries one week a month. Sound okay to you?"
He blinked back at Wayne, confused.
"You can share a room with Eds, but remember the walls are thin."
"Wayne!" Eddie choked out.
Steve laughed, genuinely happy on a night when he was sure he'd be miserable for days to come. "We'll behave."
Wayne knocked once on the doorway and walked out of sight.
Steve turned to Eddie and kissed him once on the lips, a quick peck.
"You okay with me living here? Wayne kinda just invited me without talking to you," Steve felt himself blush.
"I want you to be safe and happy, right here with me. With us. If that's what you want."
"Yeah. I want that," Steve rested his head against Eddie's shoulder and sighed. "I'm tired."
"You were brave tonight. Takes a lot outta ya." Eddie kissed the top of his head. "I should know by now that I can always count on your courage, though."
"What do you mean?"
"Took me three years to admit to Wayne that I was gay. Took you three minutes," Eddie let out a quiet laugh. "You amaze me."
"You're being sappy," Steve said into his shirt.
"Let me be a little sappy."
Steve could hear the words he wasn't saying, had felt them plenty of times over the last couple of weeks, maybe months. The 'I love you' that was hidden under sappy words, hidden under the blanket wrapped around him being adjusted by worried hands, hidden in hands that were always touching him to remind him he wasn't alone.
They might be hidden now, but they wouldn't be for long.
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leclsrc · 1 year
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hi auds bear!! dunno if you saw charles' insta story of his new sky ad but now begging for a 2k celebration blurb of dad!charles <3
misspelled – cl16
genre: fluff, 2k celebration, girldad!charles
“It’s L-E-S, love.” He points to the piece of paper peppered with doodles. “Go ahead for me.”
The sun is high and sweltering, with noontime March heat, but still Charles is undeterred in his quest to get your daughter to spell his name properly. The evening prior, you’d presented him with a welcome home card signed by her, and addressed to Daddy Charlse—cue the Leclerc dramatics.
He’d pressed about a thousand kisses to her tiny face, thanking her over and over and keeping the card in his bag so they could cook dinner together. But once the pasta was finished and the toothbrush jingle was sang (twice) and he’d stowed her off to bed (three storybooks later), he padded over to your bed and sighed lowly, stopping just shy of the foot of it. Already you’d sensed his incoming anxious complaint.
It comes. “So. Charl-s-e.” 
“She’s four, honey.” You’d shut your book softly, smiling. “She spells her grandmum’s name as Packal.”
“It’s because I’m always out for work, isn’t it?” He climbed into bed beside you, perching his chin on your stomach. “And this is also because Max keeps insisting he babysit, sweetie. I swear, he’s brainwashing my baby girl.”
You laughed; the vibration extended into him and he smiled fondly at your reaction. “Charles, it’s nothing. They’re working on spelling at school, you know—she’s got a few words she gets wrong sometimes, the same ones. But she’s learning.”
“Charl-s-e,” he’d repeated sullenly. “Charl-seh.”
“If it matters that much, why don’t you try teaching her tomorrow?” You swept your hand through his hair, mouth in a half-smile. “Make an afternoon of it.”
He’d taken your advice very seriously—woken up a bit earlier, cooked them both pancakes (and you French toast, as always) and led her into the yard for some daddy-daughter time. “If you’re thirsty, I made lemonade,” you sing-song from the patio door. “You two’ve been at it for a bit.��
There are scrapped pieces of paper with his name misspelled on most of them—there is the occasional success, though you’re guessing Charles wants just one more—and drawings of your family all over them. You already sense the influx of pictures Charles has on his phone, of these drawings and cards he always posts on his Instagram or sends to you.
At your announcement, Julia looks up, green eyes piqued with interest, grip on the red crayon loosening. But her father’s faster, gently coaxing her back into the mini lawn chair that sits on the yard. She nods along his careful instructions, writing slowly, sun filtering through her light brown hair.
You get short moments of reprieve like this during the season. It’s rare for Charles to visit if he’s in the thick of it—most of the time you travel to a different city to see him, Julia going from your hip to his arms in seconds once he spots the two of you. But this moment is irreplaceable: the sunrays on the grass, the lemonade waiting to be drank, the pieces of paper with Mommy and Papa, bunchfuls of grapes on the patio table. 
He tries again. “Come on, love. C-H-A…” 
She bounds into the kitchen five minutes clutching a final paper, which she shows you with a sun-tinged face of pride. CHARLSE, it reads still. You pour her a glass, wait for Charles to finish packing up the rest of the art materials Julia was too excited to do herself; he comes in a bit sweaty from the sun asking to see the card.
You hand him a glass and press a kiss to his cheek. “Still S-E,” you say, both of you reading over the various scribbles.
“I don’t care.” He pauses. “You see this?” He points to the lower part of the page. 
Best Daddy Ever is written on it in wild vivid colors. You beam, love bubbling up in your chest overwhelmingly. He takes it from you and tacks it onto on the fridge, smiling. “She wrote that. I couldn’t have asked for a better card.” 
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rebouks · 3 months
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Hi Alex!
I don’t think it’s stupid or cheesy to miss someone, I miss you too! Going back to normal after being on holiday is always horrible, especially after this one, and especially having to go back to school, I’m not a big fan! Do you go to school too? I wanted to ask if you did but I couldn’t… it’s nothing personal, by the way, sometimes I just can’t speak to people and I don’t really know why. I thought it was my decision if I did or didn’t before I met you but maybe not. My parents n’ the teachers at school call it selective mutism but I won’t bore you with all that crap.
I can’t see your new teeth but they grow fast so maybe next time! If they don’t maybe you could get some gold one’s like your dad has, unless you don’t wanna look like a pirate lol.. my littlest sister has four teeth now, and I have all my big teeth! I haven’t counted the twins though cos they’d probably bite me if I tried haha!!
Ava is the tiny one with the blonde pigtails! She’s cute but she still sleeps and poops a lot haha, she’s sorta chill though and definitely doesn’t cry as much as Wren and Byrd used to (have you noticed we’re all named after birds yet? I guess my parents thought it was cute since our last name is Finch) Wren’s the ginger one with plaits! She’s pretty funny but she’s super grumpy sometimes and likes to bite and kick (not me though, she loves me) I think it’s cos she’s tired a lot cos she never sleeps at night, kinda like dad.. they’re twins but Byrd is way different, I couldn’t get a picture of him cos he kept running off, he’s crazy like that but he’s super snuggly and loves playing doctor! He likes to pretend to break my legs so I can’t go anywhere then fix them for me haha. Brothers and sisters are fun but they can be a pain in the butt sometimes! We have a cat called Lou too, his full name is Toulouse and he likes to bring us leaves from the garden and scream about ‘em, and he loves stealing food when you’re not looking.
Dad’s been teaching mom how to cook cos she sucks at it (don’t tell her I said that though cos I always pretend it’s not THAT bad) she’s sorta getting better though so I suppose the whole practice makes perfect thing pays off eventually. I got a school project to make a lame volcano that I didn’t wanna do as well, but my parents made me do it anyway.. we all know that real volcanoes aren’t full of baking powder and vinegar though so I dunno if there was much point to it but they seemed to think it was important so I did it anyway, at least I got a picture of it “going off” I guess. No one likes homework, even if it’s supposed to be fun, right?!
It’s cool you set Amber free!! I’m sure she’s happier wherever she is now so I guess you could just think of that when you miss her? The rocks are way cooler anyway! My aunt Aspen has loads of crystals too, sometimes she even charges them in the sun or the full moon.. I keep forgetting to ask her why but I’ll try and remember so I can tell you next time!
Hahaa your poor dad with those birds! I’ll definitely keep the picture cos it’s hilarious, Wren found it the funniest but don’t worry, I’ll keep the picture safe from her sticky hands! I have a hiding spot in the attic for all the stuff I don’t want them touching. I guess birdwatching is sorta fun sometimes but you’ve gotta be quiet (easy for me I guess.. hah!) I’m not sure there’s any other birds round here other than seagulls since we live right next to the sea, those are the ones you can hear the most anyway cos they never shut up! My dad jokes that he used to be a seagull in a past life cos he’s loud and greedy like they are lol.. he’s been building me a treehouse too, I bet that’d be good for birdwatching!! It’ll be super cool once he’s finished but it’s taking ages cos he mostly does it all by himself, I try n’ help sometimes but I’m still too small to carry or lift most things.. I wanna be as strong as him one day, he can build and fix almost anything (he swears a lot during it though haha!) Do you ever think about what you wanna be when you grow up? I don’t really think about that sorta stuff cos working sounds boring, especially if it’s as lame as school!!
I’m ten, by the way! How old are you and when’s your birthday? Mine’s February 22nd. I don’t think I have a favourite food, anything my dad makes is amazing cos he’s a good cook and my mom makes the BEST pancakes! We’re always stuffed after dinner but dad says (lies) that pudding goes in a different part of your stomach so there’s always room for cake haha.. I think I like it best when he makes spicy food but Wren and Byrd hate it so he doesn’t make stuff like that too often. It’s fun to see how much you can eat before your mouth feels like it’s on fire and I’ve decided I’m gonna beat him one day so he better watch out!!!
I didn’t know what to write at first but I guess I sorta ended up writing quite a lot since I had some catching up to do! Are you and your dad on holiday in the tower or are you living there for now? It sorta sounded like you’ve been there a long time, where do you usually live? What kinda stuff does your dad dig up for work? It’d be cool if he dug up dinosaur bones!! I watched something like that recently and they were HUGE!
It’s hard to think of questions on the spot but you can talk about anything you want too! I probably owe you a million answers as well so you can ask anything you want too! I had fun reading your letter and I’m glad we can be pen-pals even if we don’t get to see each other! Maybe next time we meet in person I’ll be able to say something, but writing would still be fun too so I guess it doesn’t really matter, right?
Love Robin c:
ps. I’m keeping the funny photo of you yelling at your dad and there’s nothing you can do about it!!
pps!! I don’t have a way to print out photos yet otherwise I’d have sent some new ones. Dad gave me an old polaroid ages ago but it’s still broken, his friend said he might be able to fix it though so hopefully I can use that next time. Mom said you can have some of our old ones and the ones from her disposable camera whilst we were on holiday for now though so I’ll send those to you as soon as they come back!
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Text
Spilled Ink
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Pairing: Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike x f!reader
Word Count: 7.5k
Summary: Uhhh Marcus Pike as the world's softest tattoo artist that's it that's the fic.
Warnings: Lots of tattoo talk, obviously, which includes needles, tattoo guns, pain, mention of bleeding, etc.; reader is explicitly coded as neurodivergent because I said so; yearning; lots of kissing; Marcus Pike being a goddamn menace and he fucking knows it
A/N: @kedsandtubesocks made a post about Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike (original post HERE) and then I wrote 7.5k words in 12 hours, as one does. All credit for the idea goes to the amazing Erika who entrusted me with this idea and THANK GOD SHE DID because I don't think I could have gotten it out of my stupid brain otherwise. Header pics credit go to Erin @perotovar, who made these with Tattoo Artist Marcus Pike in mind and I'm just WOOFWOOFBARKBARKBARKBARKHOWL. Thanks also to @littlebirdsbookshelf who suffers through HOURS of me sending screenshots every time I write anything. Love you <3
Additional Note on Canon: I am pretending that we never got to see Marcus Pike in short sleeves in the show despite it happening twice. He has full sleeves on both his arms in this fic that he covered up during his time working at the FBI. Because sleeves are hot and I said so.
Masterlist
It’s not unusual, these days, to wander down the sidewalk staring at your phone. Some people are texting. Some people are reading the news–because hey, this is D.C. Others, like you on this brisk morning, are watching the little blue dot on a tiny representation of the city streets, trying to find the address you had typed into the search bar.
A text box pops up, informing you of your arrival, and you finally look up.
No wonder it took you so long to find the place–it’s hardly what you expected at all. You always picture tacky neon signs, bars on the windows, undesirables milling about on the street, smoking cigarettes.
Okay, so you admittedly don’t actually know much about tattoos.
All you know is that you want one–a fact you confessed to a friend over lunch the other week: a conversation that led you here.
“Okay, so get one,” she had said bluntly.
“It’s not all that simple,” you had protested. 
“Why?”
“It’s just… it seems like a lot. Mentally. Physically. I’m not sure I have what it takes.”
“They don’t hurt that bad,” your friend had insisted.
“I’m not just talking about that, I’m talking about… y’know, just everything. The noise. New people. Strangers touching me. It just doesn’t seem like something I’ll be able to do.”
“Oh. Ohhh. Because of the… yep. Actually I might have something for you,” she said, taking out her phone and scrolling through that app that drives you crazy–it’s overstimulation in a convenient package–full of noise, chaos, and flashing lights. 
She must have seen you pull a face, because she held out her hand placatingly. 
“Just finding the name of the place, hang on. It’s a shop right here in DC that went ‘viral’ for this video of a guy with autism who wanted a tattoo to commemorate his dad, but he was only comfortable lying on the floor–so the tattoo artist just… got on the floor with him! It was really cute, and anyway I guess he caters to all sorts of people, so… I dunno. Check it out.”
And here you are. Checking it out.
The words “Government-Issued Ink” are spelled out on large windows, and the punny name–apt for its location not far from the Capitol–makes you snort. 
The shop is bright, warm, and inviting–tearing down your outdated preconceptions that tattoo places must always be run-down, dark, and dingy. It’s also empty this early in the morning, save for a lone figure in the back, seated at a well-worn desk, his head pitched forward over his work.
He’s so enveloped in whatever he’s sketching that he must not have heard the light ringing of the bell as you had entered. You watch him for a few moments–taking in the graceful movements of his hand and the way his fingers grasp the pen. He’s dressed in a plain blue button-down dress shirt, which also doesn’t fit your assumed archetype of ‘Tattoo Artist.’ You can’t see his face; his head is leaning forward too much and a few short locks of dark brown hair obscure your view.
Suddenly wondering if you’re being incredibly rude, staring at someone without announcing your presence, you open your mouth to introduce yourself.
“Um.”
While not exactly eloquent, it serves its purpose. The man startles and looks up in surprise.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, jumping to his feet and letting the pen clatter carelessly to the desk. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“That’s okay,” you shake your head rapidly. “I was, um…” You blink a few times, your nerves getting the better of you as the man comes around his desk to approach the front of the store.
“Interested in a walk-in consultation?” he offers, holding out his hands in a gesture that could either be an open invitation or a shrug.
“I don’t know,” you confess quietly. “I was thinking about getting, uh, a tattoo, and I was told this shop was… good. With tattoos. And other stuff.”
“Other stuff?” he chuckles, smiling warmly. 
“You know… with people who… might not be good at getting tattoos.”
“What makes you think you aren’t ‘good at getting tattoos?’”
“A hunch,” you shrug, expelling a little huff of laughter through your nose. “I was told to ask for a Marcus Pike?”
The man’s smile widens. “You’re looking at him.”
Oh. You aren’t sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. Marcus Pike is well-dressed and clean-cut, almost startlingly so. You scan up and down, looking for any sign that this man could possibly be a tattoo artist, but the only evidence you can find is a small black target inked between his thumb and forefinger on his right hand. Don’t… tattoo artists usually have more ink? Of course, with him almost completely covered from head to toe, you obviously can’t create a full picture of Marcus’s skin, but the fact that he wouldn’t look out of place in one of the nearby government buildings still takes you by surprise.
You realize you haven’t said anything in response, but Marcus doesn’t seem to be bothered by your deer-in-headlights stare. Instead, he grins again and steps sideways, extending his arm in a silent invitation to come deeper into the shop.
“Come on in. If you’d like, go ahead and sit wherever you want, and we can talk about it. No pressure,” he promises. “I’m not here to push ink on you like a used car salesman; I’m here to collaborate with you. Figure out what you really want. And, if what you want ends up being ‘nothing,’ I totally support that, too.”
There’s something innate and intrinsic about Marcus Pike that sets you completely at-ease. You cast your eyes around, taking in the eclectic seating in the shop–all mismatched, all different colors, styles, and shapes, but all looking incredibly comfortable and inviting. You settle on a giant turquoise beanbag that seems to swallow you whole when you sink down into it, and Marcus grins and sits down in the bright yellow saucer chair beside it. 
“So at the very least, you’re thinking about a tattoo,” Marcus leads. “Can you tell me about that?”
You nod, feeling encouraged by his openness. “Yeah, so… my mom, she passed away a couple of years ago, and it just seemed like I should… memorialize her in some way. Like, in a way that leaves its mark on me like she left a mark on me, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of getting some kind of permanent art that commemorates her.”
“That’s a great idea,” Marcus says softly. “Lots of people choose to do that after losing a loved one.”
“Yeah, the only problem is that I’m not good with um… noise, or people touching me, or… pain, really,” you confess. “I’m like, the worst candidate for getting a tattoo that exists.”
Marcus chuckles softly and shakes his head. “Personally, I don’t believe that. I think anyone can get a tattoo done if they want it, provided they get it done in a way that feels safe and comfortable.”
“My friend, she uh, recommended your shop because apparently you’ve done some stuff for people with autism and it went viral on TikTok…” you ramble, “and I thought maybe that meant you’d be a good fit for… for me.”
Understanding flickers in Marcus’s expression, and he nods, a small smile spreading across his face. “I hope so,” he says with quiet earnesty. 
A beat passes–just a few seconds of silence–but something small and soft and warm settles down between the two of you, and the comforting feeling sinks down into the pit of your stomach and stays there, latent and waiting.
“So, let’s talk design,” Marcus announces. “Do you have anything in mind? Any images or ideas, however vague? I can do anything from replicating designs to building something completely from scratch for you.”
“I like the idea of it being a unique piece,” you tell him.
“I prefer original designs too,” he says. “Not to sound incredibly cheesy, but there’s no one like you, you know? In–In the general sense, of course.” He chuckles sheepishly, looking down at his hands. “I like knowing each person that comes in here leaves with something unique. Something all their own—I’m rambling,” he says quickly, the tips of his ears turning slightly pink. “One thing about me is that I talk too much. Anyway–did you have any ideas you can share with me about what you’d like?”
“I don’t have a good image in my mind,” you confess anxiously. After all, how can he build a design based on the swirling, disjointed images in your brain? “I think I want it to be colorful, like she was. And… I keep getting thoughts about, I dunno, the cyclical nature of life, something corny like that.”
Marcus laughs. “Sometimes the corny stuff is what sticks with us. So, colorful and commenting on the cyclical nature of life,” he lists off on his fingers, still grinning. “Anything else?”
“I’ve looked through your galleries online,” you tell him. “You have a few that look like watercolor paintings, and I really love how they look.”
He nods thoughtfully. “I’m gonna throw out an idea—Feel free to tell me ‘no,’ because I’m just brainstorming here, but I keep thinking about a tree of life. The leaves could easily be done in watercolor and could be any combination of colors you want.” His right hand twitches–as if reaching for a phantom pen–as he speaks, and his gaze seems to be fixed on a spot on the wall, his eyes glimmering with enthusiasm as he starts to speak faster.
“You could have the leaves and the roots connecting on the sides, making a circle, maybe even having her birth date and death date embedded in the roots…” He blinks rapidly a few times, as if dispelling the image from his head. “Anyway. That’s a possibility.”
“I think that’s amazing,” you say softly, watching Marcus with something like amazement in your expression. “Actually… I really like that idea. It sounds… perfect.”
“Oh,” he intones softly, looking at you in surprise as a bright, toothy smile breaks across his face. “Oh. Well then, let’s do it, huh? One final question: where do you envision getting it?”
“I was thinking on my shoulder. Here,” you indicate, pressing your hand to the skin of your upper arm. “That way it’s visible when I want it to be, but easily hidden if for some reason it needs to be.”
“That’s perfect,” Marcus says. “Plus, the circular design will go really well there. Okay. Great. Um, some things to know about the process. We’ll exchange emails, and you can contact me at any time with any questions, concerns, ideas, changes, anything. In the meantime, I’ll get started on a design for you, and I’ll share initial sketches that you can give feedback on before I move to the final stages of the design. It’ll take a couple of weeks, maximum, depending on any changes you ask for. My only request is that you’re always honest with your feedback–don’t tell me you like something when you don’t. I promise, it won’t hurt my feelings.” He grins widely. “After that, you book an appointment on a day that works best for you. I almost always book the whole day for the appointment to factor in time for copious breaks and making sure you feel comfortable. Does that work for you?”
You nod eagerly.
“Last question,” Marcus says. “Is it okay if I get a close-up picture of your upper arm? That way I can make sure it fits the curvature of your arm, it’s the right size, stuff like that.”
“Mhmm,” you nod again, pressing your lips together and trying not to look nervous. Thank god you wore a sleeveless top under your sweater.
“Only if you’re comfortable,” he insists.
“No, no, it’s fine,” you say quickly, removing just the one arm from your outer layer and pulling it aside. 
You watch as Marcus grabs a little ‘point-and-shoot’ digital camera from his desk and comes back to your side.
“This is just used for design purposes,” he promises. “I delete them after the design is done.”
“I trust you.”
His resulting expression could light an entire room. “Thank you,” he answers quietly. “Okay. Super close-up, just your arm. Cool?”
“Cool,” you confirm, and you hear the camera click several times.
“Actually,” Marcus says, still staring thoughtfully at your bare shoulder. “Would it be okay if I made a couple of little marks–washable marker, of course–to make sure the dimensions are how you want them?”
Oh. You normally don’t like it when people touch you. You knew it was going to happen eventually, obviously, because how else was he going to get the design onto your skin? But it was something you had planned on working yourself up to, not something you had to do today. On the other hand, something about Marcus’s entire bearing makes you inexplicably ache to be touched by him. 
“‘No’ is an acceptable response,” he interrupts your dithering with a quiet reassurance.
And actually, that works to seal the deal for you, and your decision is made in an instant. 
“Yes. You can. That’s fine.” And, to your surprise, you mean it.
Marcus seems just as surprised at your answer–his eyebrows shoot upward almost comically at your response.
“Okay,” he says softly. “That’s perfect. Hang on.” He jumps up again to retrieve a black marker–from what was clearly a children’s set of washable markers. He meets your eyes, and again you take in that sincere, earnest, patient look that endeared you to this man from the moment you entered the little shop.
“Is it okay if I touch your arm?” he asks quietly, still watching you carefully as you nod.
“Tell me if that changes,” he murmurs, dropping his gaze to your shoulder again. His touch, when you feel it, is just as warm as you’d imagined. He’s gentle, cautious, and when he speaks again, his voice remains at that same, soft volume and tone. “I’m envisioning being from about here–” he makes a little black dot, “–to here. What do you think?” 
You nod. It’s the perfect size–large enough to cover your shoulder but stopping just above the point where the sleeve of a regular t-shirt would hit.
“That’s perfect.”
“Okay, so that’s–” he tsks softly, measuring the distance with his finger, “–about four inches, so that same distance across, and–” he makes two more marks on either side of your shoulder. “About like that. Is that okay?”
“Yes,” you answer, smiling with enthusiasm. 
“Great! Let me just…” Marcus draws a few short lines denoting the proposed boundary of your design, and you can’t help the soft giggle that escapes you at the cool tip of the marker on your skin. 
“Sorry,” he chuckles. “One more picture?”
At your nod, the camera clicks one last time. 
“Like I said, that’ll wash off with soap, no problem,” he promises with a smile. “Thanks for that, makes it easier to scale.” He grabs two business cards off his desk and hands them to you. “Can you write your email on this one for me? And you can keep the other one. Like I said, anything you need, just email me. And uh, barring that, you’ll be hearing from me in a week or so with a rough sketch. Okay?”
You scribble down your email and hand the card back to Marcus before pulling your sweater back over your bare arm. You slip the other card into your purse and rise to your feet. “Thanks,” you say, nodding to him.
“Hey, no–thank you,” Marcus returns. “Thanks for entrusting me with this. I mean it.”
Surprising yourself, you extend your hand toward him, and, when he takes it, you feel enveloped with warmth again.
“Thanks,” repeat, a little bit more breathlessly this time, before turning and hurrying out of the shop before you can embarrass yourself any further.
Your shoulder still tingles from his touch hours later.
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Rather than it being a week before you hear from him, you receive an email from Marcus Pike just three days later.
Subject: Initial Sketch
Hello,
Please see attached. It’s just pencil for now, but I made a note of the general blocks of color I was thinking for the leaves. You’ll see what I mean when you open the file. Sorry, I know it’s a pretty rough sketch, I was just excited to get this to you. I look forward to your feedback!
Best regards,
Marcus :) 
Eagerly, you open the attachment. First of all, there’s nothing “rough” about the sketch other than the fact that it’s just penciled in. The details are already so intricate, and you find yourself smiling in amazement as you take in the design.
It’s beautiful.
Brackets, each labeled with a different color in Marcus’s neat, tidy handwriting, surround the top of the tree. Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Violet. 
At the bottom of the image is another handwritten note: *All the colors will blend together and the result should look like a rainbow.
Tears spring, unbidden, to your eyes, as you feverishly type out your response.
Subject: Re: Initial Sketch
Marcus,
I really don’t know what to say other than it’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect. Made me tear up. Look forward to seeing it in color.
Thanks again!
Not even five minutes go by before your phone vibrates with another email.
Subject: Re: Re: Initial Sketch
I’m sorry if I made you cry! Obviously wasn’t my intention but I’m glad the design evokes emotion :) I’ll move forward with the design as-is and you should hear from me soon with a full-color image.
Marcus :) 
You can’t wait. The next week and a half stretches out excruciatingly, but finally, on a Wednesday evening, you receive another email. 
Subject: Final Design
Hey there!
Hope you’ve been doing well. Thought you might like to see the final design of your tattoo ;) See attached and let me know if anything needs to be changed. Be critical! Don’t hold anything back! Once we agree on a final piece, we’ll get you on the calendar.
Best regards,
Marcus :) 
Your mind skims over the fact that Marcus used a winking-face emoji in your email, because you honestly aren’t equipped to process that right now, and open the attachment instead. This time, you start crying in earnest. It’s perfect. The colors are so vibrant, and they make the tree look as though it’s in a constant state of movement. Your mom’s birth and death dates are entwined seamlessly into the roots themselves, in a way that makes them not readily apparent at first glance, but seeming to just appear out of nowhere upon further inspection. 
Subject: Re: Final Design
Marcus,
If I had any critical feedback, I would share it, I promise. But I have nothing. This is everything I’d imagined and more, and it means the world to me.
Thank you so much.
After a few more messages back and forth, you settle on a date one month out. 
You can’t wait.
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As excited as you’ve been for the past month, when you step foot back into Marcus’s little tattoo parlor, the air of finality makes your body thrum with anxiety.
You’re really doing this.
Marcus is at the back of the shop, busying himself with setting up his workspace when you enter. Today, he’s wearing a dark green henley that looks just as soft as he is, and seems to complement his features even more. As soon as he hears the chimes, his head snaps up, and he grins widely. 
“Hey!” he calls out excitedly. “Just getting everything ready. Do you want something to drink before we get started? I’ve got water, juice, soda…” he trails off, waving his hand in the direction of a mini-fridge in the corner. 
“I’m okay for now.”
“Sounds good, but when we take a break, you should have some juice or something else with a bit of sugar in it, okay?” You nod, and he continues. “Okay! Where do you want to sit?”
“Don’t I have to sit in the chair over there?” you ask, gesturing to the traditional chair and bench near Marcus’s work table. 
“Not at all,” he protests. “The table is mobile, I bring it to wherever you feel comfortable.”
“Oh,” you say dumbly. “I’ll go ahead and sit in the chair, though.” Of all the options, it looks like the easiest–you aren’t entirely sure how Marcus would be able to comfortably tattoo you whilst sitting on a bean bag chair. 
“Your choice,” he insists, spreading his hands out in an open and unguarded stance.
You settle in the chair and he sits down on a rolling stool beside you. 
“Okay, so I’ve got a stencil of your design here,” Marcus says, holding up a paper with an outline of the tree for you to see. “It’ll transfer onto your skin exactly how you want it to go, and I’ll just trace it. Make sense?”
“Yep,” you nod.
“Before I do that, though, I have to make sure nothing interferes with the design, including tiny little hairs.” He holds up a pink safety razor. “Are you comfortable with me doing this for you?”
At your tentative nod of consent, Marcus leans forward and gently swipes the razor up and down your shoulder until he’s satisfied. His eyes dart between your skin and your face the entire time–making sure you’re still with him. After he’s done, he talks you through the stencil–confirming its location, gently applying it to your shoulder, and then holding up a mirror for you to approve. 
“It’s great,” you whisper excitedly.
Marcus returns your smile and begins to absentmindedly roll up his sleeves in preparation to start working–-and the question about tattoos that you’d asked yourself upon first seeing the man is suddenly and unexpectedly answered.
You can’t help the soft sound of surprise that escapes from you when you catch the colorful patchwork of designs on both of his forearms, disappearing under the pushed-up henley and suggesting that they go all the way up. 
Marcus catches you staring and grins, his eyes sparkling with mirth.
“I didn’t know,” you say softly. “You keep them covered up.”
“Force of habit,” Marcus shrugs. “I had a desk job for a long time.”
“Doing what?” you ask, curiously. You can’t see the man doing anything but this.
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” he jokes, winking in your direction. 
Ignoring how the wink makes your heart stutter in your chest, you bark out a laugh at his answer. “What? Were you like a secret agent or something?” you tease.
“Special Agent,” he corrects, grinning. 
“Get out,” you deadpan. “I can’t imagine you as a Fed.”
Marcus shrugs, giving you another one of his boyish, crooked smiles. “Would’ve been fifteen years this year had I not finally seen the writing on the wall and run for the hills a couple of years ago.”
“What made you leave?” 
He laughs softly, shaking his head. “That’s a long story. How sensitive are you to noise?” he asks, abruptly changing the subject.
“Uh, I dunno. Kind of depends on the day and the situation,” you shrug.
“Fair. Well, I usually let newcomers listen to what the gun actually sounds like, so there are no surprises. If it’s too loud, I do have noise canceling headphones.”
And miss out on hearing Marcus’s soft-spoken reassurances? No matter how loud the tattoo gun is, you’d rather endure it just to be able to hear him talk. 
Marcus turns the instrument on, and the room is filled with a mild buzzing sound. On your worst days, admittedly, it would probably grate upon your nerves, but you’re feeling relaxed, comfortable, and excited about your new tattoo.
“It’s not bad,” you tell him truthfully. 
“Perfect,” he grins. “Are you all set to get started?”
Heart rate increasing with pleasant anticipation, you nod giddily. 
“I’m obviously gonna be touching your arm a lot,” Marcus says, “so let me know if you need a break from that, the noise, the needle, anything.” Seeing your solemn nod, he continues. “I’m gonna do a little dot right here to let you see how it feels, okay?” He gently touches his index finger to your skin to indicate where. 
“Okay.”
The gun turns on again, and Marcus presses it lightly against your skin for just a second before pulling back.
“...That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“I thought it would hurt more,” you confess.
Marcus laughs. “Well, the same feeling over and over again in a small area can start to be pretty uncomfortable. I’ll check in regularly to make sure you’re still doing fine. Good?”
You smile widely. “I’m really excited.”
His smile softens, his gaze becoming warmer and more tender. “I’m glad.”
His other hand gently cradles your arm as Marcus leans in, a look of intense concentration settling over his features as he begins the design. Engrossed in his work, you take the time to study his forearms. They’re a hodgepodge of designs, clearly done at different times and by different artists, but you can see themes throughout. He likes classic styles, you can tell, and in between some of the more traditional works you can see beautiful references to an assortment of famous paintings. A Dali melting clock here. A sunflower clearly inspired by Van Gogh there. On his opposite bicep, you can just barely make out the side of one design that looks like it might be of a Greek statue. Tilting your head, you realize it’s Nike alighting on the bow of a warship, and you inhale sharply. That’s one of your favorite sculptures.
“Still okay?” Marcus asks, glancing up at you with concern in his eyes.
“Sorry.” You shake your head quickly. 
“Just checking,” he says softly. “Try to be just a little more still, okay?”
“Sorry,” you repeat, laughing sheepishly. 
“Don’t be, you’re doing great.”
You try to fight the way your entire body seems to grow warm at Marcus’s praise, but you can’t stop the way the feeling stampedes through you. You’re being ridiculous, you chastise yourself. He’s doing his job, and you’re getting all moony-eyed.
In order to distract yourself, you continue playing ‘Spot the Famous Artwork’ on Marcus’s sleeves–although, as distractions go, it’s not your best work. You can’t help but focus in on the way his forearm cords with muscle as he holds the tattoo gun, controlling each movement so delicately and precisely, creating a beautiful, intricate design on your shoulder.
After finding a bit of yellow patchwork that's clearly a reference to Gustav Klimt's The Kiss near his right elbow, you break your silence.
“You like art, huh?”
It seems like a stupid thing to say to a fucking tattoo artist of all people, and you immediately kick yourself internally for saying something so obvious. 
Marcus glances up, and, seeing how your eyes are focused on his own ink, smiles. “Always have,” he murmurs, returning his gaze to your shoulder. “Some of those are years-old.”
“Is that how you got into being a tattoo artist?” you ask.
“Sort of,” he answers, brow pinched in concentration as he continues working. “I uh, apprenticed for a shop in college to pay the bills before going to Quantico for training.”
“You’re really talented,” you tell him. “I was surprised to find out you haven’t been doing this your whole life.”
Marcus hums his appreciation as he carefully fills in a root. 
“Can I ask what made you join the FBI instead of opening your own place after college?”
He huffs a little laugh through his nose. “Parents would have killed me, going to college and then doing nothing with it.”
“Running a small business isn’t exactly doing nothing,” you point out.
“Well, public opinion on tattoos wasn’t what it is now,” Marcus says. “They were scandalized by my apprenticeship, but it paid the bills, so they couldn’t complain too loudly.”
“Was it them who wanted you to join the FBI?”
“Mm, not so much,” he murmurs. “It was more like ‘whatever you want to do, so long as you can make a lucrative career out of it.’ Being an artist wasn’t one of those things, so in lieu of becoming one myself, I decided I wanted to protect them instead.”
You scrunch up your nose. “Protect them how?”
Marcus grins up at you and waggles his eyebrows playfully. “Art crimes,” he answers. “Being an art detective was kind of in the limelight in the early ‘nineties after the famous Gardner Museum theft, and I got swept up in the craze.”
“So you spent the last fifteen-ish years recovering stolen art,” you fill in for him.
“Stolen, forged, looted, illegally traded or smuggled…” Marcus offers, not breaking his concentration again. He wasn’t wrong–the repeated drag of the needle across what felt like the same square centimeter of your skin was starting to wear on you. 
“Uh-huh,” you say, forcing the discomfort out of your tone.
Noticing the tightness in your voice immediately, Marcus’s movements stop. “Feeling okay?”
You shrug.
The gun switches off.
“You gotta be honest about how you’re feeling,” he reminds you. “I might be able to create designs based off of customers’ vague descriptions, but that doesn’t make me a mind-reader.”
“It’s a little uncomfortable, but I can endure it,” you insist.
“There’s no need to endure something that’s painful,” Marcus argues with an amused smile. “Even if it involves choosing to repeatedly jamming a needle into your skin.”
You can’t help but laugh, and your heart swells when he joins you.
“C’mere,” he says. “Let me show you something.”
You let him lead you to the other side of the shop, where he stops in front of a large storage cabinet that you'd assumed held various supplies. When he opens it, however, you find that isn’t the case at all.
No, the entire cabinet is filled to the brim with a collection of stuffed animals just as eclectic and varied as the furniture. There's also a couple of shoeboxes filled with every manner of fidget toy you could ever imagine. 
"You can grab one, if you want. I know it might feel kind of goofy, but I promise they help with the pain."
"Okay," you breathe. Your gaze lingers first on the IKEA shark, then on a very soft-looking cactus with an adorable grumpy expression, but when your gaze lands on the largest and arguably oddest toy in the collection, your hands can't help but move toward it. 
"The big guy, huh?" Marcus laughs, taking the giant squid off of the shelf and placing it in your arms. You have to laugh at how large and ungainly it is; its massive black eyes stare vacantly back at you, but the effect is dopey, rather than menacing. 
"Where do you get all of these?" you ask in amazement. 
"Most of them are gifts from past clients, including that one," Marcus says, indicating the squid. "But I think he originally came from the Smithsonian. I was told his name is 'Cthulhu, Lord of the Deep.'"
"Thank you," you say in a small, appreciative voice.
"'S'fine," Marcus shrugs. "Feel up to continuing?"
You nod, looking down at your partially-inked shoulder. "Guess you didn't get very far before I had to stop," you remark, somewhat self-deprecatingly. 
"It's not a race," your artist says earnestly. "We've got the whole day, and we go at your pace. You're paying me, after all." Another wink in your direction.
"Yeah," you nod, confidence growing again. "Yeah, okay." You plop down in your seat, with Cthulhu in your lap, and Marcus takes his place beside you. 
“Gonna turn this back on again,” he announces as the now-familiar buzz fills the room, “and I’m gonna touch your arm–” his fingers wrap warmly and gently around your skin, “–annnd here we go.” 
The needle scratches insistently against your skin, but it isn’t so bad–not really, not with the hilarious giant squid on your lap and Marcus’s gentle, soothing voice in your ear. He talks while he works, sometimes asking you questions about your own life–to which he listens intently and always seems to have follow-up questions–and sometimes telling you stories of his own. You discuss art, obviously, but also music, books, movies, and baseball of all things.
You find yourself wondering if he has this type of easy rapport with everyone who comes in, but you assume he must. He might be the most disarming person you’ve ever met, and it’s hardly a stretch to believe he’s like this with everyone. Still, there’s an ugly, jealous part of you that wishes the connection between you was unique, special. That he’s only this warm with you. 
Marcus was right–squeezing the stuffed toy on your lap is a perfect distraction from the discomfort of the needle, and before long, the sensation fades into the background. As the time drags on, though, the persistent drone of the tattoo gun causes an ache to creep in and settle between your eyes. You take in a deep breath through your nose, count to three, and exhale slowly through your mouth.
Marcus glances up, watching you for a split-second before cutting power to the gun and stretching his back with a satisfied sigh. 
“Break time,” he announces. “Hand’s getting a bit sore.” He shoots you a knowing glance and another one of those crooked smiles. “And you should probably have a little something to drink, maybe a snack.”
“Yeah, thanks,” you say gratefully as he walks over to the little fridge.
“Apple juice?” he asks, holding up a little juice box that looks slightly comical in his large hands. When you nod enthusiastically, he hands it to you.
His fingers brush yours.
If it were anyone else, you’d recoil, but it’s him. It might just be the forced proximity, but…
You’re developing quite the crush on Marcus Pike.
Shoving the thought aside for the moment, you stab the straw into the little hole and take a long sip. Marcus settles down beside you with his own choice–a little can of vegetable juice–and holds it up in a silent ‘cheers.’
Feeling emboldened, you ask the question that’s been burning in your mind since you started.
“So what made you leave the whole ‘helping other artists’ thing behind and start a tattoo business instead?”
Marcus presses his lips together, and for a moment, you fear you’ve crossed a boundary. Just before you’re about to apologize profusely, though, he speaks.
“Have you ever just… woken up one morning, and realized that everything you were working toward, everything you thought you wanted in life… was a lie?”
“I… I don’t know,” you confess quietly, surprised at the emotion behind his words.
“Happened to me,” he laughs softly. “I had moved to DC for what I thought was my dream job, with who I thought was–” he shakes his head, as though dispelling an unpleasant thought. “I had spent my entire life checking boxes: College degree? Check. Well-paying job? Check. House? Check. Check, check check. I spent so much time trying to get ahead, like life was some kind of game to be won. If I said all the right things, did all the right things, if I did everything right… I’d have the life I wanted.”
“What was the life you wanted?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.
“It was bullshit, is what it was. Saw one too many rom-coms as a kid, I suppose. I thought I was after the picket fence, the dog, the wife and two-point-five kids, that sort of thing. And one morning I woke up, realized that… that relentless pursuit of something I couldn’t even hold–it was all bullshit.”
“So you just… quit?”
“I quit. I wanted to create things again. I wanted to feel inspired. After a bit of uh… frantic soul-searching before I ran out of money entirely, I sold my stupid, too-big condo that I hated and bought this shop instead.”
“Did it work?”
“Well, I’m not bankrupt yet,” Marcus says dryly.
“No, I mean… did you feel inspired again?”
“I did. I do. So very much so,” he says, his voice soft and gentle. His eyes flick up to meet yours, and that comfortable warmth that had settled in between you the first time you had met him… grows. Mutates. Until the warm, tingling feeling feels a lot more like electricity.
An unspoken moment seems to pass through you, but then Marcus clears his throat roughly, setting the empty can aside and standing again, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Wanna keep going?”
Breathlessly, you nod. 
In no time at all, you’re settled back in the chair with one of Marcus’s warm, strong, large hands cradling your arm as the other gently wields the tattoo gun. As he starts to fill in and blend the colors, the pain starts to increase, and you worry one of the fuzzy tentacles back and forth in your hand as you grit your teeth.
“I know, I know,” Marcus soothes quietly. “The color’s the worst part, but you’re being so good for me.”
It helps you to watch him work, so you do. He’s blending in the colors now, and you watch with interest as it starts to take shape. It’s so mesmerizing that you hardly even notice the buzz of the gun or the light sting of the needle anymore.
“And you said you ‘weren’t good at tattoos,’” he teases gently, noticing your obvious interest. 
“Did I say that?” you laugh, teasing back.
“I believe your words were, ‘I’m like the worst candidate for getting a tattoo that exists.’” he reminds you. “And look at you now, huh?”
You duck your head at his praise, unable to withstand the intensity and honesty in his gaze.
“Doing okay after all, I guess,” you say with a sheepish smile.
“You’re doing amazing,” Marcus corrects, smiling warmly. “The type of client any artist dreams of.”
You don’t know how to respond to the things this man says to you. Stunned and at a loss for words, you stare awkwardly at your hand where it still wraps around Cthulhu, Lord of the Deep.
“I’m sorry.” The words are soft, concerned. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just meant that your enthusiasm and your curiosity is the stuff that makes me want to be an artist in the first place.”
“Are you saying I inspire you?” you try to tease, but it falls flat.
Just audibly, over the hum of the tattoo gun, you hear his whispered response. 
“Yes.” 
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As Marcus wipes away the last of the stray ink on the purple bit of tree, the tattoo gun suddenly switches off. The silence is almost shocking, and you blink rapidly in confusion.
“Break time?” you ask.
Marcus chuckles, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement. “It’s all done.”
“It is?” you ask, although you can see the answer for yourself in the large mirrored wall to your right. 
“How’s it feel?” he asks.
“My arm kind of aches,” you confess, “but oh my God, Marcus… it’s beautiful.”
It’s his turn to preen under your praise, the tips of his ears blushing pink as he grins back at you.
“I’m glad you like it,” he says softly. “Here, let me give you a little something for the pain.” 
He squeezes a glob of light-green cooling gel and coats the angry skin with the barest of touches. “Still okay?” he asks, glancing up at you for confirmation.
After the harshness of the needle, the soft press of his fingers is more soothing than ever, and you have to resist the urge to sigh and melt into his touch. 
“Yes,” you whisper.
“You’re going to want to keep this covered for a couple of hours, up to overnight,” Marcus says as he carefully applies a dressing to your shoulder–still softly, but more businesslike than before as he walks you through all of the instructions for care. “Once you take this off tomorrow, you’ll probably see some fluid leaking from it–that’s totally normal. It’s blood, plasma, and extra ink, and it should stop after a few days before it starts to scab over.
 “You’ll want to keep it from drying out; I’d recommend scent-free, dye-free lotion if you don’t already have some,” he continues. “Wash it twice a day and put lotion on after. When it starts to scab, I can’t stress this enough: don’t pick the scabs.” He gives you a serious look. “Repeat that back to me.”
“Don’t pick the scabs.”
“If you do, you could cause it to scar, or even pull out the ink. One more time for me,” he prompts, and you get the feeling that this is always the sticking point in his speech.
“Don’t pick the scabs,” you repeat.
“It’ll take three to four months for the lower layers of skin to completely heal,” Marcus tells you. “During that time, keep it out of the sun, keep it hydrated, and you’re in the clear.”
“And don’t pick the scabs,” you say teasingly. 
Marcus winks at you. “Exactly. Any other questions for me?”
“No, just… thank you. It’s amazing,” you tell him. “You did such an incredible job.”
“Hard not to, when I have such a beautiful canvas.”
Your eyes dart up, expecting to see a teasing glint in his eyes, but all you can see is heartfelt sincerity. You swallow thickly, and he tracks the movement, his eyes dropping down, then back up to meet your eyes. Is it… not just you? Does he feel it, too? Realization slams through you and threatens to overload all of your systems. Marcus’s lips are parted slightly, and the look in his eyes… it’s desire.
“Marcus…”
“Wait,” he says urgently. “Hang on. Come… come over here for a minute, let me–” he dashes awkwardly over to the till on the counter and gives you your total. Frowning in confusion–he wants to do this now? Interrupting that electric moment that had passed between you?–you dutifully swipe your card and numbly take the receipt.
“Now you’re no longer my client,” Marcus explains softly. “I–sorry–I was about to throw caution to the wind and kiss you, and I didn’t… I didn’t want to be unethical, I–”
“Yes,” you say simply, giving your response to his un-asked question.
It’s all he needs to stride forward, gently take your face in his warm palms, and, seeing no hesitation in your eyes even as he searches your face desperately—presses his lips to yours.
The kiss is as soft and as tender as the man himself, which hardly surprises you. Your eyes slip closed as his lips move against you with aching caution. He’s careful in all things, including this–taking your cues, giving you the lead, letting you feel everything he’s giving you.
All too quickly, he pulls back–but his eyes only sweep your face again, a growing smile on his lips as he sees nothing but want reflected back at him. 
When he lowers his lips to yours again, he’s less gentle. One large hand leaves your face too hook around your waist, pulling you closer, closer–and when the proximity causes you to gasp softly, Marcus is ready. His tongue gently slips between your parted lips and you practically melt into him. When your knees buckle, his strong arms are what keep you standing upright, and still–
He can’t seem to stop kissing you. 
You break before he does–pulling back to suck in a few shaky, heaving breaths, and he smiles through his own labored breathing.
“I wanted–I–” he begins, before hastily pressing another kiss to the corner of your mouth as if he can’t help but do so. 
“I’ve thought of you,” he tries again. “I thought of you like this for the last month,” the confession finally spills out. “I wanted to–wanted to kiss you so badly all day, but I couldn’t. Couldn’t let myself.” He kisses you again. “But now,” he promises, whispering the words against your mouth. “Now I’m gonna get my fill.”
To punctuate his statement with one of your own, you slant your head and deepen the kiss, wrapping one hand around Marcus’s neck and pulling him closer still. He makes a soft noise in his throat, and the grip on your waist tightens. You lose yourself completely to the feel of his tongue sliding slowly against yours, until he suddenly pulls back.
“I’m doing this all wrong,” he whispers–although he’s still smiling. “I wanted to ask you out to dinner, first.”
“So ask me,” you say with a giggle.
“Come have dinner with me,” Marcus murmurs, shaking his head in quiet amusement as he steals another gentle kiss. “Right now. Tonight.”
“You might have to open all the doors,” you tease. “My arm hurts.”
Another kiss.
“I’m wounded that you think I wouldn’t open every door regardless.”
“Are you always such a gentleman?” you remark with a wry smile.
Another. 
“Well,” Marcus grins wolfishly. He places on last, lingering kiss on your lips and then makes a show of offering his arm. “Not always.”
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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 11 months
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Daryl's nerves only intensified as you pushed the creaky screen door open and peered out at him standing on the little porch of the farmhouse. "Daryl? Is everythin' alright?" you asked.
He was anxiously wringing his hands and shifting his weight. It was plain that he was exceedingly nervous about something and that made you nervous. Daryl gulped. "Uhh—we need to talk."
"Alright," you said, stepping out. The screen door slammed behind you with a clatter.
"I mean—s'there somewhere we could go to—to talk? Um... alone?"
You glanced back over your shoulder to see your dad sitting at the big dining table looking your way with curiosity. You met Daryl's eyes again. "Sure. Of course. This way," you said. You led him around the side of the house, out of Hershel's view, and into a little grove of craggy old oak trees. "Are you okay?" you finally asked when he stopped beside you.
Daryl rubbed a hand anxiously over the back of his neck. "Uhh—I dunno," he murmured. Your brow furrowed more deeply and he realized at that moment that his behavior and vagueness was freaking you out. "I mean, I'm okay. I just—shit," he murmured, letting out a nervous laugh. "I just have to—to tell ya somethin'."
The furrow in your brow hadn't eased.
"I dunno what's gonna happen with my group," Daryl started. "I know yer dad wants us to move on as soon as Carl is better but—" he ducked his eyes, "I can't even think 'bout leavin' ya behind. It makes me feel... sick," he managed. "I just had to tell ya that the thought of movin' on, of not seein' ya every day... s'not somethin' I can stand. And I know that dun make any damn sense. Ya hardly know me and I barely know you, but s'just how I feel. So. I guess tha's it..." He trailed off. Was this cliche? The biker who has never given a shit about a damn thing in his entire life falling for the farmer's daughter...
"I think it makes perfect sense," you said, suddenly snapping Daryl's blue eyes back up to yours. "Because I feel the same way." And then you were giving him a shy smile.
"Really?" Daryl asked, not even meaning to. It just spilled out of him, he was in such disbelief.
"Really," you said. "I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm workin' on gettin' my dad to let ya all stay, as best I can. And not just because I want ya'll to be safe. I'd—I'd like to keep you around, Daryl."
Daryl Dixon couldn't believe his fucking luck. A heat washed over him from the top of his head down to his boots, and he found himself smiling back at you.
Prompt: We need to talk.
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AHHH ok, let's talk about Lucifer and Alastor
I've been reading a lot of reactions to Hazbin: from the gushers who think the show is perfect to the hyper-critical who hate the show, the creator, and everything in between. I don't fall into any of those categories. I had a lot of fun watching it, but there were some things I liked, and some others I didn't. You know, as it's usually the case with any piece of media one interacts with.
I love reading other people's opinions. It makes me pay more attention to things I might have missed. BUT for Hazbin, most of the criticism I've seen boils down to two things: either "I, personally, didn't like it, so that means it's bad" which is not the hot take people seem to think it is, or just lack of media literacy.
I won't go over all the examples of that last point (there are plenty), but one example people are using to criticize the show --which I can't seem to get out of my head so now I have to write about it-- it's how out of left field it was for Alastor to think of himself as a father figure to Charlie.
My guys and guysettes, that's because he doesn't.
He does it to piss off Lucifer, because he doesn't like him. That's it.
"But they just met, why doesn't he like him?" I don't know! but let's go over some examples, shall we?
In the first episode, during Alastor's TV ad, we see a picture of the hotel, clearly drawn by him. I ask you to look to the bottom left where it says "No tacky circus decor! I promise"
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Do we know what he is referring to? Sure we do! the ring circus master himself! Lucifer Morningstar, whose whole schtick is circus-related. Clearly, Alastor is not a fan.
When Lucifer arrives to the hotel, did anybody catch Alastor's first reaction? (besides calling him short to his face, ofc)
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Do you see that trembling eye? He is PISSED. Why? Who the hell knows! But he clearly does not care for the King of Hell himself (if you force me to give you my opinion on this, I think it's because of Alastor's delusions of grandeur, and plain-ole narcissism, but that is a conversation for another post, if I ever gather enough energy to write it)
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He introduces himself and immediately does this. R-U-D-E.
Now, let's talk about the song itself, which, again, is clearly just an attempt to piss off Lucifer and not really about Charlie. At all.
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He only cares about Lucifer's reactions. Because he is not being HONEST. We can all see that? right?? I mean, it is pretty FREAKING obvious. He is just trying to get a rise out of Lucifer.
And now, the moment we were all waiting for, the infamous "call me dad" moment.
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Which had nothing to do with Charlie, and it was just another example of Alastor being the most annoying bastard alive. He is not even looking at her! He is staring Lucifer dead in the eye and saying "piss off shortie".
Why? Again, I dunno. Your guess is as good as mine. I hope we'll get the answer in season 2, because immediate animosity against the King of Hell himself is something I need some context for. Is it funny? Absolutely! I love that song! The violin solo? PURE GOLD (he he)
But for the love of Christ and the Antichrist, please stop thinking of "Alastor thinks of himself as Charlie's dad out of nowhere" as a valid criticism. As some have speculated, Alastor involvement with Charlie will probably have something to do with Alastor's deal and 7-year absence. If it's never explained, then sure, what the heck Vivzie?? please include it on the show!
There are PLENTY of things we could criticize about Hazbin (and people smarter and with more energy than me have done so already). But there are so many examples of "criticism" that are just examples of "I don't know how to interact with media anymore" and I beg of you to do better. This is a tiny example of the show showing and not telling, and some of y'all failed the comprehension test.
It is a fun show, guys. Enjoy it.
TL;DR: Alastor does not think he is Charlie's dad, ffs. He just wanted to piss off Lucifer.
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