i've never been reached out to by a god. spirits, sure; ghosts, maybe. but never a god.
and i certainly have never spoken to a god, and the times i've recieved any sort of message or sign from a god [though i do question those, too] i can count on one hand.
i'm agnostic and a skeptic; i question my beliefs all the time. though, when all is said and done, metaphors are real and useful concepts, and worshiping and dedicating at least some of my time to the divine has helped me. but this comes with a certain lack of certainty lol.
i communicate one way; me to them. i never request signs, messages, and i certainly never try to use divination to speak directly to the gods. this is a personal decision, and do not expect anyone else to make the same choice.
but all this to say, i've seen plenty of people on here ask about receiving signs, messages, words from the gods. asking about if they should wait to be called. i've even seen people suggest you ask permission from the gods to worship them.
there's a power in choosing the gods you worship. there's a kindness, a love, when you give a piece of yourself to the god/s and say i'm here! do you think the average worshiper in ancient times waited for a response? waited to be picked, called upon, or chosen? no, i don't think so. there's a certain power in that, and i understand the desire to be wanted by a god, but i truly despise the idea that a god will reject you; i hate the idea that a god will turn you away.
not that a certain god might not be the guide that you need at a certain time, but that a god will outright tell you no? that's just terrible.
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Your post about your upcoming Bad Buddy meta got me thinking about Bad Buddy (again), and I remembered one particular thing that had an impact. Apologies if this is long and rather incoherent, I wrote this past midnight.
In the final episode, the part where we see Ming and Dissaya turn a blind eye to Pat Pran's shenanigans really struck a chord with me.
[I'm an Indian, born and raised, and queer, but it's well worth mentioning that my experiences are not universal- in fact, they may be the exception rather than the rule; I'm not quite sure.]
What it reminded me of was, that asian parents tend to come around eventually- in particular mothers. We've seen time and time again in series' that deal with difficult/not accepting family members; Bad Buddy, GAP, Wedding Plan, maybe even Double Savage (haven't watched this one but I believe the dad feels bad in the end?), that even if the parental figure(s) doesn't agree with their children's choices, they learn to compromise. Because the difference in opinions isn't worth losing their children over. Obviously, for every parental figure that comes around there's one that the children cut ties with (Wedding Plan remains a good example), but I think it's something worth seeing.
It made me think of how I was never scared of coming out to my mother, because I knew that, despite the difference in views, and her prejudice, she'd accept me, no matter whether she thought it was a phase or not.
Do I know what the point of this ask is? Not really, I was rather nervous sending this ask, especially not on anon, but I'd love to know what you think of this, since I've come to really enjoy reading the thoughts you have on these shows.
Ohhhh, wow. @starryalpacasstuff, come 'ere for a big mom hug! HUGE HUGS!
I'm gonna unwind a little randomly; I hope this is coherent. A ton of what I write about on my blog vis à vis Asian dramas are the unique characteristics of Asian families and an Asian upbringing. Parental conditional love, competitiveness, our unique experiences with intergenerational trauma. I write a lot about how Asians, in our cultural expectations of life, accept pain and suffering as an assumed part of our existences. The reason why I watch Asian dramas exclusively is that, as I'm Asian-American, I just connect far more easily to the Asian cultural experience of growing from a child into an Asian adult, than I do the experience of white Western folks growing into their adulthood. I grew up intimately with Asian cultural practices and expectations; but I also grew up with racism in my external American world, and came to my adulthood in a society that still values white Americans above all other demographics.
But one thing I'm cognizant of, that I don't think I write about enough, is that many of these characteristics of the Asian cultural scopes of life are indeed similar to those that a fully American person (for example) might experience. It's not like intergenerational trauma doesn't exist in the West. It's not like homophobia in families against a child doesn't exist in the West.
However. As an Asian-American, one thing I note about many (not all, of course) Western families and family systems is that very often: Western adults will give up their agency to be loyal to what I might call a "higher power" -- a philosophy, a political preference, a religion. If a queer person wants to come out in a conservative American family, that queer person may very well be risking cutting permanent ties with their family.
That, of course, also happens in our Asian family systems. But I think you're onto something, @starryalpacasstuff. While divorce rates are sky-high in the West -- there is also a paradigm of family systems being and looking different in the West than they do in Asia. Asian family systems still don't accommodate for divorce and blended or chosen families as they do in the West.
The Asian family systems and paradigms that you and I grew up with as Indians absolutely still value a heterosexual two-parent household -- and I'd posit that our past generations, our grandparents and great-grandparents, put HUGE, HUGE pressure on our parents to keep the two-parent family systems together and whole. And to keep the children close. It's a huge value in our Asian cultures to have whole and complete families. The West has become far more accommodating, culturally, on this issue.
And, so. I totally agree with you, @starryalpacasstuff. I think we do see the beginning of a coming-around on the parts of Ming and Dissaya. And that coming-around is certainly something we can relate to. Our parents will likely accept us for our differences. I fucked a lot of shit up with my folks when I decided to live independently of their desires -- and I don't think things really healed (and I still carry tremendous traumatic baggage) until after I had my own kids, and expanded all of our families. Because in the end, the value in our Asian cultures is that keeping the family complete and close still matters more than any one's individual biases or desires.
Ming and Dissaya are remarkably traumatized people. Ming was traumatized by the expectations of his father. He screwed Dissaya over, and literally handed his trauma to Pat on a silver platter, for Pat to embody for most of his life. And Pat flipped that platter over in his father's face and ran away. Ming, at the end of the series, is passive-aggressive with Pat, despite Pat's efforts to try to work with him. And yet -- Ming still sips Pran's scotch.
To your point -- does time heal everything? I'm not so sure in the West, with the Western predilection for Christian/Puritanical/conservative values to supersede reasonable family resolutions. But I think, because of the value that Asian systems put on having complete families, that you are right -- that there may be more room in Asian family systems for eventual acceptance of a child's "differences," despite us living in collectivist societies. This is definitely not an absolute. There are environments in which it's still dangerous to come out. But the value that Asians put on family does indeed give us a tiny bit of comfort that our cultures can move the needle on acceptance in different ways over time.
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I'm glad you're keeping the part where Thunder puts himself between Clear Sky and Grey Wing, willingly showing that he would rather die before letting Clear Sky kill his dad.
That's actually a Bones Addition. You just think it's canon because it literally should have been there from the very beginning. Thunder doesn't get between them at any point during the battle, he runs towards them only to get interrupted by 2 people trying to kill him.
First was Falling Feather, who Jackdaw's Cry then jumps on and dies fighting with, sister killing brother.
Second was Leaf, who's a diehard Clear Sky supporter and general bully.
In canon, Clear Sky stops the battle after Gray Wing says the line, non-fucking-sensically imo. Killing his BROTHER is too far, but killing someone who wasn't even attacking him? A noncombatant who said something mildly insulting? That wasn't. Rainswept Flower did the SAME thing Gray Wing did and still got bumped off for it;
“Is this worth it?” he heard Clear Sky hiss at Rainswept Flower.
Scrambling to her paws, she faced him. “What do you mean?”
Clear Sky flattened his ears menacingly. “Are you ready to die just to stop me from making borders?”
Rainswept Flower curled her lip. “You’ll keep stealing land as long as we let you.”
“Stealing land?” Clear Sky’s mew trembled with rage, “I’m just making sure my cats never starve.”
Rainswept Flower’s gaze flitted around the lush slopes of the hollow. “How could any cat starve here? There’s so much. Wanting more is just greedy!”
“How dare you!” With a snarl, Clear Sky leaped for her, grabbing her throat between his jaws. Her paws flailed desperately, lashing out at thin air as he shook her like prey. Then she hung still.
Clear Sky dropped her, gazing coldly at her lifeless body. “You never understood. I’m not greedy. I’m just strong.”
-The First Battle, Chapter 20
Then in Clear Sky's pathetic wet beast scene, he stares down at Rainswept's corpse, and thinks "I was so angry I don't remember killing her :("
So how, exactly, does this same character keep his cool when Gray Wing says the same shit but worse?? Is he really so controlled by emotion that his logical processes flip off, or fucking not? Gray Wing was refusing to submit, lunging at him, calling him power hungry and taunting him that he would kill his own littermate for it, and THAT manages to get through Clear Sky's blood-poisoned head?
"ouuugh it's his brotherr that's why his personality completely changes for him" the fucking guy tried to have this same brother murdered in Sun Trail by Fox. The first book. He EXILED HIS OTHER BROTHER for having a broken leg because he, "didn't want to look biased"
Again; is he controlled by his fear and anger or not? Is this a man who would snap the neck of someone he cares about because he feels insulted, or not?
The answer is that the Erins are breaking their spines bending over backwards to try and keep him "redeemable" when he shouldn't be. He's whatever the plot needs him to be, but the most consistent character traits point towards Clear Sky being the kind of person who would never have wanted to change his ways.
So, they write Clear Sky ridiculously backing down for Gray Wing, calling off the battle and "coming to his senses" instead of having Thunder do WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE and jump to his REAL dad's defense.
This is what I mean when I mention how firmly I feel that Clear Sky's Redemption Arc was a mistake. He works best as a villain, a fearful, proud, controlling monster, understood by his impacts on other characters rather than as a person the story should concern itself with sympathy for.
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