NOISETTE THEMED DOODLE DUMP ft. cheesecake and the spouses
copious hazel headcanons under the cut because i can’t help myself
first off: her name is Hazel 👍🏻 ik that’s a common one but it’s literally perfect… canon info to me
her favorite thing to do, besides making experimental food, is actually exercising! she’s an incredibly skilled acrobat and stunt artist, so she needs to be fit for that, but she also just enjoys letting the excess energy out bc she gets really cranky otherwise. she’s toned af and could wipe the floor with you - she doesn’t go around picking fights for no good reason, but if she did… heehee
she has such an unending well of passion for all of her interests that some find her to be too much but she dgaf… she’s unabashedly autistic and does NOT care if you don’t want to hear her infodump about obscure cheeseslime genetics, she will do it anyways
i like to think that, although she is very bubbly, she has an insane morbid streak that catches people off guard. she loves talking about anatomy and gross-out subjects to anyone who can stomach it, and cracks the most fucked up jokes - it’s one of the reasons her and noise get along so well. she is thinking about blood and guts because she thinks it’s interesting!!!! she will give you hyperspecific graphic threats of violence if you make her mad!!! teehee!!
i would put her at like… chaotic neutral but leaning towards good. she has an almost scientific fascination with violence and seeing what kinds of stress a body can take, and doesn’t mind watching shit unfold instead of helping… unless something actually super fucked up is going on (like way past canon typical pizza tower violence), she’s not going to bat for you lol she’s gonna grab a camera and clipboard
her interest in anatomy branches out into a love for biology, medicine and health in general - as much as she loves watching her boyfriend beat the shit out of some chump on live tv, she also loves studying how different creatures work and how to treat injuries. she almost became a doctor! but she didn’t like the rigid schedule and pressure, so she fostered her interest in dance and gymnastics, and went into television as a stunt double instead. that’s actually how she met noise! that’s why they look so much alike - she was told to inquire NTV for a job because of the resemblance. noise thought she was so cool she was asked to be his co-star instead, and they’ve been inseparable ever since.
sometimes she gets tired of the noisette persona, but she does genuinely like theo, so it’s hard. she’s been more busy with this NTV gig (that’s looking more like a full blown career) than she would like, so that’s why she opened her cafe - to do something else for once dammit!! she likes weird shit, food included!!!
i have two shipping scenarios i like, so consider these parallel universes - hazel x vigi, and hazel x vigi x noise
if you don’t like negative takes on the noise relationship i’d recommend skipping to 2 ^_^
1. her relationship with noise deteriorates bc noise can’t accept the fact that hazel doesn’t wanna be noisette all the time! they’re so busy, he barely even makes time for her anymore - he barely even tolerates her! it’s not until vigi comes into the picture that she realizes she doesn’t have to deal w that mess. but it sucks cuz noise isn’t just her bf, but also like!!! a big part of her career!!! and she does genuinely love him but he’s just!!! an uncommunicative ass!!! it culminates in hazel leaving him and crashing at vigi’s farm because fuck it, it’s her life she does what she wants. she will kiss the cheese AND rebuild her tv career, on her own terms this time baybee
2. noise and hazel still have that issue but they actually communicate like adults and fix their relationship problems, so none of that shit happens! happy ending! hazel has her own life and theo actually lets his gf know he loves her! woah! enter vigi, in: “we saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe…” imagining vigi as a third to hazel and theo, completely out of his depth but too bisexual to care, is SO funny to me lol… like hazel and him are probably the only two together at first but over time he and theo warm up to each other more (gay intent) and it’s perfect
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As much as I love to give Stede the business for having trademark Gay People Obliviousness and not even connecting his feelings towards Ed until well after their split, I’ve realized a lot of that probably has to do with his self-worth struggles.
Because like, here is this gorgeous, skilled, dangerous, legendary man, and he falls right head over heels for Stede. And I imagine Stede cannot envision a more ludicrous and outlandish concept. In his eyes, there is absolutely no way he can be loved that deeply and that quickly, especially not by someone he idolizes- someone as extraordinary as Blackbeard.
It also doesn’t help that he’s never really had true love at all, so he didn’t properly recognize it even when it held his face and looked him right in the eyes. His life has also been a deluge of mockery, bullying, and degradation, so it’s no wonder it took him a good while to catch up.
So Ed can put his life on the line for him, vocalize how happy and at ease he is with his new surroundings (as long as Stede is there with him), touch Stede tenderly, and kiss him right on the mouth, but that’s still not enough. With all Stede’s gone through, there’s still room for incredulousness.
There’s still a part of him that thinks that there’s just no possible way this is real.
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I can only picture transfem usopp x nami and a semi modern au. I say semi-modern because it's based in the early '90s Early 200s.
They live in the suburbs and go to high school together. Usopp moved into her neighborhood after her mom died and her dad got an office job.
nami lives with her older sister and their mom passed away as well so they're financially struggling.
Usopp is all ready out to her family and is in the middle of her transition. She meets nami when they're moving and they hit it off fast nami takes her around the town. She's introduced to some of her friends Luffy, Zoro and sanji they like her and she makes friends.
Sanji of course falls for her drowning her in affections and flirtations before being backhanded by nami.
All in all usopp is adjusting well to her new environment and she already has friends. Nami and her start to get really close and start having slumber parties and hanging out on weekends they even made friends with the foreign exchange student Vivi all three of them got close.
Vivi starts to notice the chemistry between the two girls and teases them about it (Vivi had a very short lived secret fling with nami but all good things come to an end after she had to move back home) they both brush it off as being a joke trying to hide their blush.
But they do like each other they actually really really like each other. Nami talks endlessly about usopp to her sister. How pretty her hair is She braids it herself, she always has the nicest outfits She always wears the different color bandana like how many colors does she have?? She's just so pretty She's an amazing painter and really good at photography she carries a camera her dad bought her on her 15th birthday and- She can go on and on and on until her sister interrupts her and tells her to just kiss her already.
Usopp starts hanging out with Sanji a lot more and she confesses her feelings about nami to him. (Their heart is shattered but listens anyway) she wants to be with her I mean she's so kind and funny and tough. She's so headstrong she knows a lot about money but also the weather! she wants to be a meteorologist she's just amazing, everything about her is amazing. But she feels that she can't be with her because she's trans and she's not sure if nami actually would accept her
Sanji at this point is not paying attention to what she saying, after finding out what transgender is. So you know usopp is talking about her first love while sanji is having a gender crisis in the background so she didn't really get that much advice.
During one of their slumber parties the vibe was tense and they actually did confess their view
Usopp:......... (Getting hair brushed)
Nami:............ (Brushing hair)
Usopp:............... Can I ask you something? Uhhmm
Nami:............ Yeah I noticed the bottles, it's fine My sister used to drink a lot after our mom died too.
Usopp: no.. ugh... I'm sorry about him.....*sigh*......you know what..... Transgender is?
Nami: I've heard of it. It's when people change their gender right?
Usopp: yeah........um..... I'm.................. I'm trans...........*sigh*.... I was born a boy........
Nami: oh ....oh!
Usopp: are you mad or... .. weirded out?
Nami: no..... I'm... why would I be?
Usopp: because I like you like like you ......and I don't want to make you uncom-
Nami: I like you too like like you. Who you used to be doesn't change that. I still think you're pretty and smart and talented....uh ....
Usopp: .....I feel the same way
Nami:..can I kiss you?
Usopp: ........umm... Ok.
(Nami and usopp kissing it's very beautiful and very sapphic)
Yasopp: sweetheart can you clean out the cat box in the morn- oh sorry did I walk in on something?
Usopp: Dad get out!
later that night Sanji came over realizing that she's actually a girl and they invited her into the group along with Zoro and Luffy they were bored and they wanted to crash the slumber party
This is so cute,,, I can imagine it perfectly, honestly. The vibes are immaculate. Usopp and Nami pining over each other and,,, Nami isn't really worried about being a lesbian because the friend group already knows this, but Usopp is completely insecure about telling her she's trans because if she stops liking her for this it might hurt her so much she might not even recover. But they're so comfortable around each other,, They go to school together. They walk home together. They won't stop calling each other every day. Most of the time Usopp says the others didn't want to hang out only because she wanted to hang out with Nami just the two of them. Nami kicking her feet and blushing in her bed late at night trying to sleep thinking about Usopp when she has never done that before. Recess and lunch? They spend it with the group but everybody knows they're in their own little world.
Also, Sanji having a whole gender crisis while this happens (because... She can be a girl... If she wants... She had never thought about that....) and also having another crisis because she has this huge crush on both Usopp and Nami (I am spreading the Sanusona agenda) and they're both... Going to end up dating each other... Ouch. But as long as they're happy, Sanji is happy too!
When Nami and Usopp start dating it's just so sweet. They're so happy all the time around each other. The fuzzy feeling won't go away and yet they're still comfortable doing all those things together because they were friends beforehand,,, And they cherish stuff like holding hands and kissing when their friends are with them because they aren't that comfortable doing it in public yet, although Nami has little to no shame with these things so they always end up making out somewhere public.
Long story short, the three of them end up dating at some point because I say so and my heart is begging for it. So when Sanji has the need to come out to somebody, she does it only with Nami and Usopp at first because she knows they will understand her better than anybody else. It's not like she's in a good household right now to actually socially come out entirely and her environment isn't at all healthy. But Nami and Usopp are there to help her out.
I can't stop thinking about them offering their houses most days so Sanji can sleep somewhere else that isn't her house. They let her borrow clothes and make-up and they do all the stuff Sanji can't do with other people. Since they hang out together a lot, these two end up developing feelings for her at some point and... It's time to also learn what being polyamorous is because they're gonna need to know soon.
Also, the whole 90s aesthetic is SO them. You've chosen the best time for this to happen because I swear I can imagine them like that perfectly <33
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