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skyahri · 22 days

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Remember Part One |SatoSugu X Reader| HC

Part Two

Summary: You get a second chance to save him, but for right now you can only enjoy the fact that he's still here.

Warnings: Implied poly??? Idk I don't say anything specific. Vomiting, blood, Canon related warnings. Angst bc im sad.

- - - - -

Your eyes flew open. You could barely breathe, your lungs still stinging from the char of imaginary burns. You desperately drag your hands across your face and body, searching for something, anything wrong, not quite processing what was going on.

You sprung up from your bed, immediately thanking your muscle memory as it guided you through your dorm room. You shoved your way into the bathroom and just barely made it to the toilet before emptying the contents of your stomach.

Tears pricked your eyes. You had no idea what was going on. You could only assume that you had another prophetic dream, but had no idea when it had started. Had it been days or weeks? Hell, had it been months even??

You remember the pain of being burned alive by Jogo in Shibuya Station. You remember dying, the feeling of your lungs giving out and your heart stopping.

Yet here you were, alive and relatively well back in your dorm room God knows when. The unchanging state of Jujutsu High was not helping you determine just how much time had passed.

What did, however, was Suguro Geto standing in the doorway. He was saying something you couldn't hear and your foggy mind couldn't process the lack of stitches on his head, but that didn't stop you from screaming.

Was this your Suguru? The boy who held doors open for you and dragged Satoru away after one too many flirty remarks. Could this man already be leading the Star Religious group? Or worse, be reduced to a corpse in his Kenjaku era?

There's no way you could possibly tell in such a hazy state of mind. Your gift had drained you to zero, leaving you absolutely defenseless against what could very well be a tyrant.

Lucky for you, you're within ear shot of a handful of other sorcerers who woke up the second they heard a scream. They were filing into your room within the minute, confused at the commotion, or lack there of.

Satoru had pushed his way past Suguru and bent down next to you, grabbing your hair in a makeshift ponytail as you continued to retch.

He's leaning in next to your ear, whispering, begging for you to calm down enough to tell him what's going on. You can barely hear him over the sound of your uncontrollable crying, the sobbing and shaking caused by panic making everything a hundred times worse.

Satoru is motioning for someone to hand him a rag to clean your face, which Suguru does without hesitation. When he enters your peripheral vision, you can practically feel the hairs on your neck stand up. You push your way past Gojo, who had just barely managed to wipe your mouth, trying to climb behind him, pleading that he doesn't come anywhere near you.

You can't see the hurt look on Geto's face. He has no idea what's going on, all he knows is he's somehow causing whatever it is that's happening to occur.

You don't hear Gojo shoo everyone away, apologizing for waking them up in the middle of the night and assuring them that he has it handled.

He rests against the wall and twists you around so you can sit comfortably in his lap. He holds you tight against his chest, it's almost suffocating, but you can feel the pressure slowly melting the anxiety away.

The fog that once clouded your brain is retreating, allowing you to take in your environment more clearly. There's makeup and skin care products scattered on the counters. You can make out enough of your bedroom to see the dozens of Polaroids pinned to your walls.

You eyes finally focus on a more defining feature that better cements your whereabouts. Your nails are painted pink and Satoru's an icy blue, something you haven't seen since your teenage years before Geto defected. You remember finally convincing Satoru to match with you and Suguru, tempting him with an iconic color that you knew he couldn't turn down.

"What's today?"

"February 21st, 2006."

You hum in response.

"Were you dreamin' again?"

You don't answer. You're too focused on how much time has passed. Twelve years gone in an instant. That's nearly half your life, nearly all your memories, and they were all fake. But now you had the opportunity of a lifetime. An opportunity to save all the people you've lost and protect your future.

You're thankful for Satoru in this moment. He isn't always the most socially aware, often times he actually makes things ten times worse, but right now he was just what you needed.

You take in just how warm he is, how he's managed to keep his hands from touching you inappropriately for so long. He's wearing that stupid pair of Hello Kitty boxers that 'convienently came with a matching bra and panty' and 'would hate for them to go to waste.' You scolded him for getting the sizing correct, knowing he had to have gone snooping for answers.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

You had good friends, ones that trusted you without a second thought. They know the deal. Things are going to happen and sometimes that requires interference or being intentionally kept in the dark to avoid them. It was both a blessing and a curse- being given the gift of future sight yet being forced to hold the weight of the world in your hands.

You stand up, forcing Gojo to release his tight grip on you. He expects you to get in bed, but instead, you walk right past the door of your room and right across the hall into Suguru's. You don't knock, opting to just head straight in and crawl across him to lay down.

Suguru is confused. An hour ago, you were completely terrified of him, and now here you are, staring at him like he was the most important person in your life.

You reach forward and trace your fingers across his face; his nose, his lips, and eventually his bare forehead. You run your fingers through his hair; disheveled but clean. You pick up his right hand and set it on your face to savor the heat of it. He doesn't hesitate to rub his thumb back and forth across your cheek reassuringly. What he's supposed to reassure you about, he doesn't know, but he can tell you need it.

"You're oddly affectionate tonight."

"I missed you."

"I saw you yesterday."

You shake your head. You want to respond, to tell him you've dreamt of this opportunity for over a decade, that you haven't seen him alive in a year, and sane in nearly twelve.

But all you can do is cry. You lace your fingers with the ones on your face and let him pull you closer. His chest is broad and he smells like cologne, just like how you remembered.

The last time you saw him, he was sickly pale and missing an arm, just moments away from death. He smelled like blood and didn't even have the energy to stand. This view of Geto was much more pleasant than anything you had seen recently.

He has no idea what's going on, but can see it's obviously a lot. He wonders what you could have seen, how long you could have possibly lived. He wonders if someone died, if he died.

He's not sure how long it goes on before you're passed out, your grip on him relaxing ever so slightly, but he doesn't dare let go.

Gojo makes his way into the room from his waiting place outside. He stuck around on the off chance things got out of hand and he needed to intervene.

"How's our girl doing?"

"I have no idea."

"That's unlike you."

Suguru isn't sure how to respond. The vibe in his room is definitely more relaxed, but it's far from peaceful. All he can do right now is anchor you down to earth and hope whatever it is you saw can be fixed.

Fortunately, Satoru is a brave man. He clumsily makes his way onto the other side of you and flops down. You don't even flinch at the roughness of his actions.

"What are you-"

"Sleeping here with you guys, duh."

"Can't you read the room?"

"Nope."

#jjk headcanons #jjk hc #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #suguru geto #getou suguru x reader #geto suguru #geto x reader #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #satosugu #satosugu x reader #geto angst #gojo angst

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mucherbuncher · 4 months

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Daryl x Reader

daryl x reader fic

requested by my mutual

this is my first time actually writing a one shot on tumblr and honestly i’m so exited. i’m still tryna figure out this app bc i literally downloaded it feb. 7th so plz forgive me i’m just a girl. also ignore that none of the “i”s are capitalized i really don’t care.

HOW DO YALL CHECK THAT WORD COUNT??

no warnings other than talking about eating sun disgusting ass food

if i do a part two there’ll be sm!t 🫣

I drew into the dirt absentmindedly with my fingers, bored out of my goddamn mind while Daryl cooks a snake over the fire. I didn’t look at it, because as queasy as i already was from hunger i wasn’t gonna make it worse. I had already eaten a few worms yesterday, something i’d never thought i would’ve done. To be honest, it was Daryl’s idea.

I had been doing everything to stay by his side after the prison fell, including silently obeying him and following him around like a lost puppy. I probably could survive on my own, but having someone by my side made it way easier. I got lucky being stuck with him, at least in the survival sense. Emotionally, or even socially, he was on airplane mode. He barely spoke, barely even looked at me. I didn’t mind it so much for a day or two, but it’s about to be day four. I couldn’t take it anymore.

He used his dirty knife to cut the snake in half, then peeled the skin off. It sorta reminded me of those giant gummy worms that you could get at a candy store, except pink and charred with visible bones.

“Here.” He reached across the small fire to hand me it. I looked up in disgust, hesitantly reaching out to eat the… thing.

It was chewy, like a well done steak. It didn’t taste like that though. It tasted pretty earthy, almost like a bug or something. The closest thing i can compare it too was grasshopper flavored fish. Wow, so appetizing.

I ate my entire half, and ripping off a small piece of rib bone from the spine to clean my teeth. I stared into the fire, like Daryl did. I used the back of my hand to wipe my mouth, unfortunately only spreading more dirt onto my face. Daryl looked about the same.

“What are we doing?” I blurted out, my voice a little hoarse from not talking all day.

Daryl looked up from the fire, staring at me blankly. His eyes practically glowed that pretty steel blue color, and I already felt slightly unnerved from his stare.

“Are we even gonna try to look for anyone, or are we just gonna keep running everyday?” I continued on, my voice growing stronger as I felt more emotions setting in.

“No point.” He grunted after a few seconds of silence.

“But there is. We need the rest of the group, they could all be still alive, together, maybe.”

“Look around, do ya see anyone waitin for us?” He spat, his voice getting a little louder.

“Your a tracker, so track.” I hissed, my eyes narrowed as i felt more and more frustrated with this man.

“Fine. Get yer ass up.” Before I could even think or retort back, He grabbed his crossbow and started kicking dirt into our little fire.

“Daryl, it’s dark…” I muttered, suddenly feeling small at the way he’s acting so pissed.

“This whatchu want, right?” He grabs my arm and yanks me upwards, and I stumble a little before tearing my arm back.

“Stop. Stop it right now.” I stare into his eyes, clenching my jaw a little in anger.

He starts pacing, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He’s trying to hide his face from me.

“There ain’t no point… what if- what if they’re all gone? I can’t… i won’t…” He wipes his eyes with the back of his arm, and i realize, he’s fucking crying. I can handle children crying, even other girls. But when a grown man cries… it makes me want to start sobbing.

My heart sinks and i feel an awful twinge in my stomach. I shouldn’t have pushed him. Fuck me…

“Hey…” My mouth has gone dry, i’m not totally sure what to do here. With the fire gone, and only the moonlight to allow me to see his face, im struggling.

“S’ not… I don’t know what to do.” He chokes a little, and that was my final straw. I pull him in towards me, grabbing his huge tan arms gently. I take the back of his head and put it against my neck, rubbing his back gently. His hands fall limply at his sides as he gives up.

“S’ gonna be alright. We can start lookin tomorrow, alright? You’ve got me. I’m here.” I speak softly and slowly as i reassure him. I’m hoping i’m saying all the right things. He wraps his arms around my waist tightly, restricting my breathing a little.

I hold him there for a long time, rubbing his back slowly as he silent cries into my shoulder. It felt right, comforting him. I was good at it. He needed this badly, and i hoped my optimism would rub off on him.

I pull his head off my shoulder, cupping his face in my hands. They look tiny here, holding him like this. I wipe some of the tears off his pretty face with my thumbs. His eyes bore into the ground, not meeting mine. I knew he felt embarrassed, but it was just the two of us. I wasn’t going to tell a single soul, nobody could make me spill his secrets even through torture.

I brush away some of his greasy brown hair, kissing his forehead gently. His eyes snapped up to meet mine. Shit… was that too much? I force myself to keep a calm expression, gazing at his puffy red eyes.

“M’ gonna start the fire again, okay?” I say gently. He nods, taking a step back and sitting down on the ground.

I fumble the lighter a little in my hands as i grab the kindling, and a small flame peeks through. i slowly start adding more fuel, until a steady flame is going. I scoot back to sit next to Daryl again, gently guiding his body down until his head is resting on my lap.

“C’mere.”

His huge body weighs down on my thigh, but I honestly didn’t care at all. I brushed my fingers through his messy hair, careful to not tug on any knots as i did so. He looked sorta beautiful like this.

Wait what the fuck. My mind started racing. This man was easily forty years old, covered in dirt and sweat and walker blood. Id known him and treated him like a friend for nearly two years now, but now… I treated him as if he was glass. He probably felt like it, broken after standing strong against all the hardship he’s faced his whole life. I knew bits and pieces, how he depended on Merle since he couldn’t rely on his shitty dad. His mom has been gone since he was a child.

I needed to be here for him. He’s become my protector, but I, a young woman, cared for him in a way i hadn’t for anyone else in a long time.

His chest rose and fell peacefully, and I knew he was starting to fall asleep. There wasn’t much to protect us from the elements other than a small wool blanket we’d been sharing for the past few days. I grabbed my bag, and carefully moved his head off my thighs to rest on the bag instead. I stepped around his body and curled up against his chest, making myself little spoon. I grabbed his crossbow, curling that close to my body just in case. I felt his arm swing around me, pulling me just a bit closer than i already was.

“Ya okay here?” He asked, speaking softly into my ear.

“Mhm.” His deep voice sent a shiver down my spine. I closed my eyes, smiling just a little. What a funny man.

#daryl dixon #daryl x reader #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixion imagine #daryl x female reader #daryl dixion x reader

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lupunsus · 1 year

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i want to write fluff. i (you people) need to remember the good sides of this au (non-existent) because yanderes can be nice (questionable)

Anyway, amputated mouse reader with Al-Haitham and Kaveh bc i finished the story quest, and they're literally fucking each other every other day istg

based on genshin hybrid au idea by @cinnamonest

while writing this, it was pure fluff... but my demons whispered in my ear, so there's nsfw in it. im sorry, but my resolve is weak against poly relationship with Kaveh and Al-Haitham.

warning: masturbation, the hybrid is actually the pervert in this one, a bit of angst bc hybrid thinks they aren't good enough to be sandwiched between two hot men despite being loved lots but they want their pp even though they know nothing about having sex with a human

Kaveh is too kind, really.

If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have had such a warm and loving home that cared deeply for you. Having the part of your leg below the knee taken away by bad people with awful traps was sad, but Kaveh and his partner, Al-Haitham, made sure to make you forget about that problem!

Of course, sometimes they argued about things relating to you.

"You claim to be so smart, but what's smart about giving them a pegleg?!" Kaveh glared at Al-Haitham while holding you in his arm. The other held out the object, dropping it in front of the gray-haired man. It was cute to see you hobble around at first. But then you fell over, and tears started to form in your eyes. You were so adorable!! But also, you should never be in pain while under the care of Kaveh and Al-Haitham!! You were fine, just a small bruise, but being the overreacting person he is, Kaveh had to make a big deal out of it.

To others, it would seem like he was making the situation sound worse than it is, but Al-Haitham is just like him. He's just a quiet worrier.

"I suppose I should readjust some things. If I were to buy some parts–"

"Peglegs are unnecessary when we can just carry [Name] around!"

"But then they'd have to crawl around the house if we aren't home."

"We'll put soft rugs down!!"

It's a good thing Dori resides in Sumeru. Her nose can smell potential customers all the way to the desert, but the biggest spenders are always Akademiya students. So when it comes to needing supplies for hybrids, Dori's the one to go to!

But that's a lot of soft rugs. What are you raising? A baby? It's okay. Dori won't ask, just hand over the mora. Thank you~

If anyone were to see Al-Haitham and Kaveh while they lugged a load of rugs to their place, they'd assume Kaveh was getting help with a new project. Nobody knows about the lucky little mouse waiting inside, as the rugs are for them. "Thank you masters! [Name] likes a lot!!" The texture was indeed fluffy and soft. One could wrap themselves up and sleep inside of one. That's how cozy it felt.

It's a shame that the pegleg would sit in storage to collect dust. Maybe one day it'll have its use.

Days when Kaveh is out and Al-Haitham is home are the best days. Why? The two of you do absolutely nothing. You make yourself comfy on top of him and take a nice long nap. Sometimes Al-Haitham will read to you, teaching you some words and whatnot. His voice is nice, however, so most of the time, he looks down to see you drooling all over his chest while deep in slumber. It's the main reason why he stopped wearing shirts during those times. Too much of a hassle to wash them. Kaveh doesn't complain, even doing the same.

Both of their chests make for good pillows, and their skin is always so warm. You definitely start drooling more when you're sleeping on them.

Kaveh is fun to be around, too!

He's made some toys for you to play with, but he doesn't mention how Al-Haitham helped. You didn't ask, so technically, he isn't lying to you. Do you know those cat wheels? Kind of big, enough for a human, maybe if they were to crouch down. Anyway, Kaveh made that for you! A nice little wheel to run to your little heart's content. It's super cute seeing you use it, especially when you get tired.

You just lay there in a puddle of exhaustion, and he takes the opportunity to scratch and nuzzle his face in your tummy. If you're ticklish, you try to push him off, but you're too tired to do so. Kaveh rewards you with treats and stuff to chew on, so it balances itself out. Plus, his belly rubs feel good.

Honestly, living with them makes you forget that you're missing half of your leg.

Almost.

You're a bit clumsy, especially when both of them are busy. During those times, they tend to leave a lot of things laying about. Books, well mainly stacks of books, but there's also occasionally some other stuff. And with how often Kaveh and Al-Haitham redecorate the place, things that are usually in a position you're used to are inevitably moved, and objects put in hard to reach places.

So when you trip or hurt yourself because of it, it's hard not to let a few tears fall. Would it be easier if you had two healthy legs? Of course, it'd be easier to balance yourself with two legs instead of one and a half. These negative thoughts start to spiral until you think about how useless you are to your masters.

All hybrids in shelters know that their purpose is to serve and please their masters. You weren't a stranger to the knowledge, even hearing of how if the hybrid is good, they'll be treated the same and even receive assistance during their... spring season.

But you're damaged goods! Unused, but still damaged! You require more care than the average hybrid, needing special attention and accommodations because of your small size. Neither of the men touched you in that way. Instead, they gave you space and sometimes left the house.

You could smell their scents on each other.

Why were you even here if they had each other to pleasure? You were grateful to even have such a nice home, but what were you to them? A pet? Or worse... an experiment? You've heard stories of fellow rodents being used for tests and experiments. They weren't harmed, but they weren't as loved as other hybrids in homes.

Ah, maybe you were a charity case.

A poor little mouse with half a leg missing. Nobody would want them as caring for them is so expensive, and you'd need to rearrange furniture and make the entire place practically baby proof. Perhaps you were a child to them. But you're definitely past that age! And what will happen to you if they do manage to conceive one? It's unheard-of for a male hybrid to get pregnant, but there are rare cases of it happening. Some can happen with the intervention of researchers, but only psychopaths (Dottore) would experiment with that.

Well, whatever. You're exhausted after overthinking and making yourself insecure and depressed.

The two men you loved with your entire being said they would be out late, but were they just having fun without you? Ah, you already told yourself to stop assuming things and thinking negatively, but it was hard. You wanted to be with them, too! Even during those times... There was only one thing that could help clear away these negative thoughts.

That's right. Stealing.

Borrowing would be a better word. You always put their clothes back! ...With the dirty clothes. Kaveh would be confused, not recalling wearing some of them, but blamed it on the alcohol. Al-Haitham made Kaveh do laundry, so he never spoke about it. He did express his impatience at how Kaveh takes forever to wash clothes, but that was it. They wouldn't think that their precious little mouse was to blame for the misunderstanding and confusion.

You'll never know it, but they think you're incapable of doing anything without them. Of course, you get exercise from your wheel, but they still feed, bathe, and clothe you (you're mainly naked unless they have guests over) with their own hands. The only things you should be doing without them are running on the wheel and chewing on your toys.

Going back to your session of "borrowing," it was usually something you did during the day when they were out, but since they're out late, you figured stealing more clothes of theirs again wouldn't get you caught. If they were doing what you thought they were doing, the two of them would get back home when the sun started rising.

So, you had plenty of time to make a nest in your hidden corner and masturbate while being surrounded by their scent.

It was really well hidden! Plus, you still had some clothes from earlier today, so the nest would just be cozier, and the smell of them would be even stronger. There really was nothing better than burying your face in their clothes while getting yourself off. It only helped to fuel your dirty desires.

Would they take you at the same time? You were confident that you stretched yourself to take both of them (you are definitely not), even using 3 fingers instead of 2! Surely, they'll both fit. But would they take turns instead? Impossible. They bicker so often that you think one of them will get impatient. And then there comes with that thing humans do. Kissing? You've only ever received forehead kisses from Kaveh, but you wanted more than that. Both men thought they were secret in kissing each other, and even if they weren't, they explained it as a way to share energy even if they both were out of breath afterward.

That was what you wanted. You wanted to give all your energy to them. To be drained until there was nothing left to give, even if they were insistent and shared with you their energy just so they could take it back.

"M-Masters...!" It was a relief that you came before your arm became weak. For some reason, you could only bring yourself to cum twice before your wrist felt numb. Maybe you needed to exercise more, you didn't know. You were still sensitive, so you opted to grind against their clothes to reach another high.

On any other day, you'd feel horrible for getting the clothes of your Masters dirty with your essence (or, as you like to call it, your love for them), but you were upset for always being left out! And they'd always tease you too. Going around the house topless. You have to hold back from pouncing on them and rubbing your nipples against theirs. You've done it before when sleeping on Al-Haitham's chest, but that time was an accident. It felt really good, though...

And the material of their clothes rubbing against them now felt incredible, but you really wanted to feel their hands and bodies against them. To have them pinched and squeezed even though no milk would come out. You heard hybrids can lactate if their nipples are squeezed and sucked periodically, so maybe if you play with them every day, you can give them a nice surprise.

Milk is delicious, after all!

Bringing yourself to the edge for the sixth time, you collasped onto the nest, exhausted from grinding against clothes. At most, you could only last three rounds, but this is an improvement! Humans generally go for seven rounds, so you are really close! But you're so tired... do humans really do it so many times? Their stamina sure is amazing.

You had time before your masters came back, so a nap wouldn't hurt. Plus, you were very hidden in this corner! Even if you overslept, they wouldn't be able to find you. You even threw a blanket over pillows on the couch just in case :) You've seen Kaveh do it, so it'll definitely trick them into thinking you're asleep.

It truly is unfortunate that you think you could outsmart two Akademiya graduates.

Al-Haitham is used to Kaveh's tricks, so he immediately knows you're hiding. You haven't figured out how to unlock the door, and there's even another few locks that you can't reach even if you manage to figure it out. Windows are too complicated to unlock for you, too. It's while he's narrowing down possibilities that Kaveh is calling out for you, thinking you were playing hide and seek, but fell asleep while waiting for them.

Kaveh thinks it's adorable and fun to look for the obvious tail sticking out from behind something. It isn't until Al-Haitham notices some of their clothes sticking out from underneath a table in the corner that he knows where you are and what you've been doing. How could he not? You practically begged them and threw a fit just to keep the table in its spot. It wasn't really hidden, but nobody would notice if someone or something were under it.

Calling over his partner, they looked to see you slumbering on top of their clothes, using their shirts as blankets. It would've been a cutely innocent sight if not for the fact you hadn't cleaned yourself up. "They've used more clothes than usual, but their heat is 3 weeks away.." Al-Haitham gently rubbed the inside of your thigh, causing your body to shift. Kaveh moved some of the shirts aside to see your reddened nipples perked up. He wanted to pinch them, but he settled on flicking one, smiling when you mumbled incoherently and squirmed a bit in your sleep. "Maybe they missed us~ We were out longer this time."

"Because someone can't play cards."

"I'd like to see you beat Cyno in less than 7 rounds!"

Realizing his mistake, both men looked towards you as you shifted. "Masters...." Nuzzling your face into their clothes, you let out a content sigh as their comforting smell seemed to be stronger than usual as if they were beside you.

"My skill is not provoking him. You'd have lost in 4 rounds if you had drank alcohol." This time, Kaveh chose to glare at Al-Haitham. The reason he didn't drink tonight was so that he'd be sober enough to remember being welcomed home by someone much cuter and nicer than the Acting Grand Scribe. But seeing you curled up in a nest of their clothes is definitely better.

Al-Haitham only sighed at the sight. "They took the pants I was going to wear tomorrow this time. I'll have to start hiding clothes I need."

"Wait, you knew they were the reason our clothes ended up in the laundry so often?" Al-Haitham only gave Kaveh a look that screamed, "Was it not obvious?" before rearranging the clothes to cover your entire body so you wouldn't get cold. If you weren't peacefully sleeping right in front of them, Kaveh would have yelled some very mean things at Al-Haitham. But that could wait for another day.

After all, they've left their cute little mouse waiting too long.

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writhe · 6 months

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i really think i’m doing okay all things considered but i feel so fucking tested this week / as of late. i feel so irritable & a lot of stuff that’s usually not much of a problem feels present (been dysphoric this week? hello? and feeling very weird about food?)

the pain is really taking its toll, everything got even worse because of the grief curse only now it’s snowy and below freezing and i feel still rigid and unmotivated and exhausted. i usually feel more better if push through to walk or hike but that hasnt been working (i mean, im still going) & i don’t really have the ability to rest more than i have

more people have been around the house than i’ve felt up for, but no one is actually doing anything wrong at all (and, like, i really like everyone!) but now i’m getting in my own head about being unsociable or being in the way or being weird

i’m out like 350 bucks rn bc i ordered shirts to print and haven’t been able to touch em. also out hundreds for tattoo stuff & it’s been half a year and i have yet to put needle to skin despite folks waiting & encouraging me (not planning on making people pay me but like it sucks to throw a lotta cash at this and to just have not had a good moment because honestly wrist / hand pain has also been a prohibitive factor)

and im so angry about everything that happened last week. feeling really lucky to have franklin. other friends have been offering support too, but struggling to take them up on it because it feels both talked to death & overwhelming to open up about & a good chunk of how i spent last week was doing very very intense emotional support that involved a lot of being erratically wailed / shouted at for hours.

having a weird experience being in spaces where people don’t know what’s going on with me, which is unfortunate because i definitely seem very pissed off and tired, but like, i swear i have a reason. i’m gonna push myself to connect with folks though, once i figure out what would feel good. it also sucks just, like, having had time off last week & zero ability to enjoy it because now i’m in the middle of a 10 hour workday & i feel physically and emotionally stuck

i’m not sure what comes next. it’s opening up a lot of feelings, which reopens the wound of grappling with losing (in an extremely exhausting, shitty, and unceremonious way) a very massive years-long friendship earlier this year. i’d definitely been holding for something there but i think the reality is that my & everyone’s life has changed too drastically since for us to ever get anything back that could be nearly as meaningful or close. it’s hard when stories end but worse when they rot

#ACK!!!

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ashthemadwriter-archived · 2 years

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hii!! it's me again ^^ how are you??

may i request an akutagawa x fem!reader (again bc he is my beloved) where aku gets a cold and his s/o takes care of him? but u know how he is when he gets sick (we are so similar tho LMAO pov akutagawa kinnie), but all I want is to take care of him bc he deserves it :(♡♡

tysssm<<333 take care and take ur time with it♡

In sickness and health with him (Ft. Akutagawa)

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairings: Akutagawa X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Format: One Shot

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.6K

A/n: Im really sorry for the delay Maow. I love you and I just couldn't refuse to do this. hope you like it :>

"I said im fine!"

"And youre obviously lying, so stop arguing with me and lie down already"

You sighed, Filling the spoon with the soup you made for him, and took it near your boyfriends mouth.

"C/mon! Open up"

Akutagawa gave you the "Are you kidding me?" look, but when he saw how your lips curled up into a wide pout and the kindness in your eyes was replaced with a threatening gaze, he decided not to fight with you.

You were even worse than his sister! At least she would let him eat on his own.

Akutagawa was a stubborn man, you knew that and you were more than willing to put up with him since your love for him knew no bounderies, but you weren't going to stand aside and watch him suffer with work, even when he felt really sick. In this kind of situations, you had to become stubborn, just like him.

"Im not a child y/n! I can eat by myself"

"Are you sure? Because youre making everyone around you really worried, and you still need others to look after your health since you don't seem to give a damn"

Now it was his turn to sulk.

He swallowed the soup in his mouth and tried to snatch the bowl from you, but lucky for you, his hand was not as strong as it was before.

"Now youre just being a bad boy"

"Y/n!"

"Ok ok! Im sorry!" You chuckled at his whiney tune, trying not to upset him more than he already was so that he wont feel worse. You didn't like to see him in pain, but there was something about the adorable moments that made your heart melt like a candle. He didn't like to let his guard down around people, but he didn't have any energy left inside him to do so.

He was afraid. Afraid of you deciding to leave him after seeing him vulnerable like this.

Only if he knew how lovable and adorable he actually was whenever he got sick.

Slowly putting the bowl on the drawer, you bended over and got closer to him, surprising him by planting a small, delicate kiss on his forehead.

"What are y- Hey! Youll get sick!"

"But you said that you were fine, remember?"

Yeah, he did.

Your kisses turned into a pattern, following his forehead to his temple, the tip of his nose, his pale cheeks, and finally his chin.

He deserved to be loved. He deserved to be taken care of.

Who could make him feel like that except for you?

The boy was literally melting under your touch. Everytime he sensed your lips on his fragile skin, he closed his eyes, try not to fight the sweet sense that was taking over him, telling him that everything was going to be ok.

He didn't feel cold anymore. Not when your heated lips was burning him.Not with his head on your chest. The secure feeling of your embrace was unfamiliar to him, but perhaps he could get used to it.

"Comfy?" You whispered, while running your fingers through his raven hair.

"Mm-hm…" He mumbled before pressing his head to your chest a little bit harder than before.

You were the one who should have been in his arms. He had to be the one who would have protect you, not the opposite.

"Stop thinking baby, just go to sleep"

"But… I…"

"Shhh… Its ok love. Let me be the one who would take care of you tonight"

Your calming voice and your seet smile found their way to his heart, and filled it with so much love and care.

Ok. Maybe he could let you be the one in charge, just for tonight"

Reblogs are appreciated

#bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #akutagawa fluff #akutagawa smut #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #Akutagawa ryuunosuke x reader #akutagawa imagines #ryuunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa x y/n #AshTheMadWriter

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izchone · 1 year

Text

enhypen as beatopia songs!

info: saw this trending on tiktok kind of and i wanted to do it for enha bc beabadobee + enha is like wow. world #exploded!! and i kind of made each one angst my bad😇😇 tws// just plain ol heartbreak😪😪

genre: angst (mostly!)

★♪ lee heeseung.

　now playing: see you soon

this song is undoubtedly hee. the trinket-like samples resemble his unorganized mind that was impossible to unravel. he wanted the best and only the best for his lover. his longing to make everything perfect for you turned into him knit-picking every single movement of yours. it seemed like he was judging you, and so you left with no warning, because that’s what he wanted, right?

‘it’s a walk in the park, you said it’s not that hard, im feeling kind of dizzy, i don’t want this to leave me, and i told you ill see you soon.’

★♪ park jeongseong.

　now playing: fairy song

him and this song are like a harmony. it’s like youre looking at him in a mirror or reading him like a book. an explanation of him to be exact. this was his life story, starting from when he met you.

‘guess when im older, ill be able to see, that when it gets colder, i care less about me.’

★♪ sim jaeyun.

　now playing: lovesong

what a lover boy. this song resonates with him as it depicts how he loves. the slow tempo represents the time he takes to really soak in ones love and reciprocate it, even if he knows the love won’t last.

‘i swear your in my head throughout the day, i can say that for a fact, know we had better days, but to keep me sane, i guess that this is just, another love song, about you.’

★♪ park sunghoon.

　now playing: ripples

sunghoon is such a melancholy being. the violins represent his yearning for you, but puppet strings pull him back from falling too hard. he grieves his state of being, not knowing which way to go. in reality, he just wants you.

‘ive been holdin back cuz im afraid that im too loud, six feet underground, i feel alone, again.’

★♪ kim sunoo.

　now playing: you’re here thats the thing

sunoo tried everything without regrets. he was always happy go lucky, and so you never knew how he actually felt. but you dealt with it and he dealt with you, and that was all.

‘you just won’t admit it that you’re smitten, hold on a minute please won’t you listen, cuz im not sure if you’re into me like im into you’

★♪ yang jungwon.

　now playing: the perfect pair

jungwon truly stayed the same. as well as your relationship. it never really grew. it had been the same old same old, exchange some hellos and then go back to your daily lives. and no one did anything about it.

‘you know me, better show me that you could say it to my face, cuz you know we’re the same, there’s worse things i can take’

★♪ nishimura riki.

　now playing: talk

the stereotypical teenage romance. he was your first love and your first heartbreak. he was on the hunt for perfection, and he treated you like a lab-rat. he ran out the house that day with no trace of him at all. his heart was spotless of you. you on the other hand.. not so much.

‘am i lost, why can’t i find you, a silhouette that’s in my head, you don’t exist you’re my imagination, you don’t exist you’re just a bad decision.’

a/n: first writing back!! im trying to make everything look aesthetic but im so lazy to keep my writing format the same im sorry😕😕

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retrodreamgirl · 2 years

Note

hii idk if its too late but i have a halloween request for robin x reader where they are going to a party and the reader is wearing a revealing costume for the first time and is feeling insecure but robin comforts her???? i hope im not too late and that it makes sense

...omg it's your lucky day bc i was not gonna check tumblr again this evening. happy halloween! 🧡🖤[wc: 689]

⤜♡→

You’ve been staring at yourself in the mirror for so long that if someone told you you were looking at an entirely different person you would believe them. You don’t even notice when Robin knocks steadily on the door, peeking in when you don’t respond the third time she calls.

“Wow, you look hot.” She says brazenly, her own costume is far more modest than you were expecting. It makes you feel worse.

There’s nothing wrong with the one you’re wearing, you’re sure it would look amazing on anyone who isn’t you.

You're sure it fits oddly in most places and the fabric is itchy in the few bits of skin it does cover. You've been mentally sifting through your closet, thinking of a last minute costume change because you've lost your nerve completely by now.

"I think I look silly."

Robin strolls closer, pregaming with a red solo cup in her left hand. She offers you the one in her right, the condensation cool against your sweaty palms.

It feel horrible when you can’t meet her gaze in the mirror, the desire to sink into yourself more prevalent than ever.

"You shouldn't think so much, you aren't very good at it." Her arms snake around your waist, the perfect portrait. Her drink is cold against your skin, your lean back enough that most of your weight is concentrated on your girlfriend.

"I'm serious."

"I know, I'm pretty upset about it but I think I'm doing a great job of keeping my cool." She's subtle in her maneuver of your body, turning you so you're looking at her instead of the soulless model reflected in the glass. "Tell me what looks silly."

It's stupid to think she's teasing you, but it feels horrible to try to find the words. How could you tell her how wrong the whole thing fits, that you don't think anyone will even get it. It'll be burning to stand there while people scrutinize you and you won't have anywhere to hide because everything is on display.

"Robin."

"Fine. I'll go instead." She strides past you, glancing in the mirror, tugging at her collar like it's suddenly suffocating. "I think it's incredibly hot how your legs look with that sexy little slit, but I'm a little jealous that everyone else is gonna get to see it too."

"They don't have to if I can just find another costume." You advise, tugging the fabric beneath your breasts, the irritating feeling stuck to you like water.

You try a sip of whatever concoction is in your cup, the edges of your mouth painful when the bitter taste coats your tongue. Robin is many things, a mixologist unfortunately very low on the list.

"You make that costume look better than the original. No competition."

"Your bias is showing."

"No way, the lady at the store said this costume fits me perfectly." She makes a show of checking her pants, satisfied with your silent amusement. "Last, but certainly not least, I love the way your boobies look in that."

This time you full on snort, tipping forward enough that you're in reach when she grabs at your hips. It's the best you've felt all night when her hands, warm and familiar, trace the strip of skin at your hip then further up to tease your breasts.

She pauses when she's cradling your cheeks, faces close enough that you can taste the sour cocktail on her breath.

"You can change if you want, I won't judge you for wanting to be comfortable in your own skin." She promises, a soft kiss on each cheek and one that lingers on your lips. "But it would be my genuine pleasure to show you off tonight and make you feel as beautiful as you are always."

"I love you." You sigh, feeling nothing but security and why shouldn't you when you're captured in moments like this with the only person who hasn't ever made you feel small. It's impossible to imagine she ever thinks twice about it and for that you'll spend an eternity returning the favor.

"I love you too."

#robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x fem!reader smut #robin buckley imagine #robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley blurb #robin buckley drabble #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic

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bunnihearted · 4 months

Text

it's easy for other ppl to say that i should love my body. to think i should love my body. to judge me for being 'weak' or 'shallow' or whatever for not loving it. but they dont get it, bc they havent had to live with my body. how and why could i love it when i've mainly received insults nd ridicule for it? boys in my class used to joke abt my clothing size, my own friends talked behind my back and said things like yeahhh it was her who ate the entire bag of candy haha (even if i have an issue eating infront of other ppl. so i never even participate in eating or drinking anything w others. only some water but even that is difficult to do in front of others). my relatives judged me, nd i always had whatever was on my plate criticized by ppl around me. strangers in the store have side eyed me nd talked openly abt what items i bought and that i should be eating 'healthy'. my body has been judged and criticized wherever i've gone or have done. ppl stared, openly talked to eo abt how i should exercise or do this or that. ppl generally treat u worse and are rude to u if you're even slightly overweight. my shoulders are broad, my hips are narrow, i feel like everything is sagging. i have stretchmarks almost everywhere. i've lost weight bc of health issues but i still have back rolls in some angles. i still have fat armpits???? my body is just droopy and gross and i feel nauseous whenever i have to look at it. i love clothes but it's never fun bc nothing is flattering on me bc my body is so grotesque. my stomach is like dough. my arms r flabby. nd im pretty sure theres smth wrong w my body circulation bc like my legs are reddish while the rest of my body is my normal skin color. also.. ketasoris pilatoris (however tf thats spelled idc). anyway my body rlly is a horror show and i dont know. it's hard to "love" it or be fine w it bc i havent existed next to someone with it in it's natural state and not been scrutinized. (im lucky tho that my mom has never criticized my appearance or anything bc from my understanding it's smth many ppl have experienced). i mean sure when i've worn shorts in summer she's joked abt my legs been hairier than a man's but... not more than that. idk. it's just frustrating to be so judged for it. yes. i have a very complicated relationship w my body and appearance. im sorry if its annoying to u lmao? idk what to say. why would it be easy for me to exist unapologetically in my body? i can accept myself all i want, but if i cant feel that from others what will it matter? even if i often feel it, im not an island. im dependent on other ppl's input. it's just frustrating when ppl act like it should be easy or that i am weak or stupid for hating the way i look. it hurts to not ever receive a little bit of sympathy or compassion. no. im just stupid and weak and annoying!!!!! well. whatever. i dont care. at least the ground will accept my body wholly and completely when it eats me and i'll nourish the earth. worms and insects will accept me exactly as i am. it will all be absolutely unimportant to them. they wont even care abt whatever feelings i have abt it. theyre completely apathetic to all of it.

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atlabeth · 2 years

Text

everything happens for a reason part 17 - zuko x fem!reader

And maybe I don't quite know what to say

part 16 | masterlist | part 18

a/n: finally getting into zuko's redemption arc as well as reuniting yn with sokka!! im so happy bc i really missed writing her with him, their relationship is so special to me. writing 3 chapters straight of prison feels kinda brings the mood down lol so at least its coming back up w/ suki and sokka

this was all gonna be one chapter but it started getting way too long so im splitting it in two. next chapter is their escape from the boiling rock baby !

wc: 6.5k

warning(s): some more angst but a fair amount of fluff as well (yn and sokka reunion!!<3) but mostly angst tbh. yn is very mad at zuko as she should be and sokka kinda gives it to him as well

chapter title comes from 'this is me trying' by taylor swift

“I can’t believe they’re keeping us inside all week,” Suki muttered, dragging the mop across the floor with more irritation than usual. “The only bearable part of this place, and they just take it away.”

“The warden certainly knows how to keep his prisoners miserable,” Y/N said, wiping at a stubborn patch of grease on the side of the wall with a wet cloth.

It had been a few weeks since Y/N had found her new home in the loveliest place in all the Fire Nation, and she was beginning to accept her situation. After what Suki pulled, defending her in front of their entire block, no one had messed with her since. And having Suki by her side in the first place, it made being stuck in the Boiling Rock a lot more bearable. They practically became attached at the hip — they were lucky enough to be in the same block in the first place, so during courtyard time, mandated chores, and any other time they weren’t confined to their cells, Y/N and Suki were always together.

It made a world of difference, having someone like Suki by her side after being on her own for so long. They talked constantly, Suki telling her what it was like to grow up on Kyoshi Island and her subsequent journey as a Kyoshi Warrior, and Y/N revealing the story of her upbringing to somebody else in full for the first time. It was the number one source of her shame, the amount of pain and suffering she’d caused both herself and her mother by trusting Zuko, but Suki offered nothing but support.

One thing, at least, had become clear: they may have gotten into this separately, but they were going to get out of it together.

“I mean, it’s the middle of the summer!” Suki complained, taking her out of her thoughts. “It’s hot outside, but it’s even worse in here. I would kill for some windows.”

Y/N’s eyes suddenly widened, and she looked at Suki. “The middle of the summer— I think I know why we’re stuck inside.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“When I was still with Aang and the rest of the group, we visited this secret underground library with all the knowledge you could ever want. Sokka discovered a Fire Nation secret, some kind of eclipse where all firebending is useless for a short period. It’s called the Day of Black Sun, and,” she lowered her voice, “we were going to invade the Fire Nation that day so Aang could take out the Fire Lord. I think the reason we’re stuck in here is because the eclipse is coming up. It’ll be easier to keep everything together inside than outside, especially if a riot breaks out.”

Suki huffed a laugh as she shook her head. “We’re guarded by a bunch of cowards, then. Can they really be the ‘greatest prison in the Fire Nation’ if they can’t do their job without bending?”

Y/N managed to stifle her laugh just as a guard walked past them, and she ducked her head as she quickly returned to cleaning the walls.

“Is something funny, girl?” His voice was gruff and demanding, but while it would’ve made her cower in her shell when she first arrived here, she had since become skilled in the art of keeping her head low.

“Not at all, sir,” she said, “I apologize for the delay.”

He stared at her for a moment before huffing in approval and walking away, and Suki just rolled her eyes.

“I can’t wait until we’re out of here and we don’t have to grovel at their feet anymore.” She shoved her mop back into the bucket of water and sighed. “Just one good punch to the face of every guard in here before we get out, and I think I’d be satisfied.”

Y/N grinned. “Throw one in there for me and you’ve got a deal.”

“I think I can manage that,” Suki said, smiling as she played along.

She laughed again, the mischievous twinkle in Suki’s eye lightening up the atmosphere effortlessly.

“About this comet though,” Suki said, her expression turning slightly thoughtful, “you’re telling me Sokka’s the one who discovered all of it?”

Y/N smiled knowingly as she turned away from the wall. “Yeah. You should’ve seen him in action, Suki — the whole library was about to collapse underground, a whole “we’re doomed” situation with no way to get both the information we went there for and get out alive. But then Sokka just jumps into action, he figures out when the eclipse is, and we manage to make it out by the skin of our teeth. If it wasn’t for Sokka, I think we would’ve died about… twenty times before I even had the chance to get here.” She elbowed Suki playfully. “He’s pretty smart, right?”

The pink flush to her cheeks faded as Suki turned away, a sheepish smile of her own blooming. “We can talk about that later. What I’m curious about is this: if all the guards don’t have their firebending for a period of time, doesn’t that mean it would be the best time to escape this place?”

“Theoretically, but it would never actually work.” She dipped the rag back into the bucket of water and continued scrubbing at the walls. “We’d never be able to get off the island; the gondola’s the only way out, and we’d be spotted immediately.”

Suki hummed, but Y/N noticed the gleam in her eye. “What are you thinking about?” she asked.

“I’m thinking about an escape route.

Y/N raised her eyebrows. “You’re thinking of an escape route out of the inescapable prison?”

“Obviously.” She turned to Y/N with a smile. “I don’t know how, and it won’t happen this week, but we’re gonna get off of this damn rock. And we’re gonna do it together.”

Suki’s words, somehow still earnest despite everything they’d been through, brought out a smile of her own. “You really think?”

“I know,” she clarified, and she took Y/N’s hand in her own and squeezed hard. “The Fire Nation only got us in our weakest moments. But with the two of us, working together? They won’t know what hit ‘em.”

Y/N bit her lip to hold back her growing amusement, and she nodded as she squeezed back. “Damn right.”

“Zuko?”

What had started as his attempt at an introduction quickly went south, and his eyes widened as he held up his hands and took a step backwards. It only took a second for the Avatar and his friends to get into their attack stances, and he gulped. He’d been on the other end of their wrath far too many times to underestimate them.

“I promise, I don’t want any trouble.”

“Then you made a mistake coming here,” Katara retorted, water hovering just above her hands. “What, did you decide you wanted a rematch? I’m happy to help.”

“No!” he exclaimed, taking another step back. Spirits— she was younger than him, how was she so scary? “No, I’m not here to hurt any of you!”

“That’s what you said last time,” she scoffed. “Y’know, before you tried to kill us all?”

“What are you doing here, Zuko?” Aang asked. “How did you even find us?”

“I know it has to be a surprise—”

“Not really,” Sokka muttered.

“—to see me here,” Zuko finished, trying not to let the interruption bother him, “but I swear, it’s for a good reason! I’m— I’m good now, and I think you should let me join your group. I left the Fire Nation, and I’m good now, and I can also teach firebending,” he looked at Aang, “to you.”

Aang’s eyes widened slightly at the consideration but Katara just laughed mirthlessly. “Do you honestly think any of us are stupid to trust you after all you’ve done? We’ll always have another option than you, Zuko. We’ll never be that desperate.”

“Where’s your firebending teacher then?” he asked. “If you have other options, then fine. But I don’t think you have any.”

Katara set her jaw. “We’ll find someone. Anyone but you.”

Aang looked at him for a good, long moment, and Zuko actually grew hopeful for a second, but it was all dashed when he glanced away and shook his head. “There’s no way we can trust you after all you’ve done. You should leave.”

Zuko visibly deflated at Aang’s words. “At least… tell Y/N that I was here. I need her to know I’ve changed.”

The mood noticeably changed at the mention of her, the steeliness to Katara’s eyes and the slight clench of Sokka’s fists the most obvious. They were angry at him, and rightfully so, for what he’d done to her. If only they knew how much turmoil Zuko had gone through over it all.

“She’s not here,” Katara spat. “I figured you would know that, seeing as you’re the one that got her thrown in jail.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

“Are you deaf?” He looked down when he heard the aggressive voice, and was shocked to see it coming from such a small girl. Toph, if he remembered correctly. “She’s not here, and it’s your fault. You should know better than any of us, seeing as she’s still in the Fire Nation.”

“If you cared so much, you should’ve broken her out,” Sokka said bitterly.

“I— I tried,” Zuko insisted, and he was quickly realizing how hard it was going to be to get these people to trust him. “Believe me, I tried to get her out, but when I went to her cell she wasn’t there.

It was somehow still possible as Katara’s glare turned even sharper, and when she took a step forward, he moved back on instinct. “What do you mean, she wasn’t there?”

“She wasn’t there,” he repeated, his eyes slightly wide as he held up his hands. “I— I asked a guard, and he said she was transferred to another prison by my sister, but I haven’t been able to find out where.”

“You know what the Fire Nation does to powerful benders.” Katara’s voice wavered, her blue eyes glimmering with tears. ”How could you let them take her?”

“I tried—” he started, but he didn’t get far.

“You didn’t try at all!” Katara shouted, her voice finally breaking as her hands clenched into fists at her side. “You are the one who did this to her! You are the one who did this to her because she refused to give up on you, and now she could be— she could be dead!”

Katara took a step back as her chest rose and fall with shaky breaths, and the glare she pinned him with was truly murderous. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave and never come back.”

She wiped at the tears streaming down her face and stormed off in the opposite direction, leaving Zuko standing there speechless, unable to do anything but stare with wide eyes.

“Katara!” Aang instantly ran off after her, and Toph took over.

“You heard her,” she said, her blank gaze not meeting his eyes but somehow able to carry the same steeliness in her tone as Katara. “Leave.”

And as she went off after Aang and Katara, Zuko was left with him and a tension that could be cut with a knife.

“I never wanted this to happen,” Zuko whispered.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sokka said coldly. “It still did.”

And he was right.

It was… strange, to say the least. Being here, with the Avatar and his friends.

Zuko had only managed to earn himself a spot in the group by near death bravery, but even his fight against the assassin was barely enough to secure it, what with how effortlessly Zuko was able to do the wrong thing in every single situation.

Telling them he sent the assassin after them in the first place, burning Toph’s feet, offering himself up as a prisoner, even just standing too close to Katara— he was constantly on thin ice with all of them, but especially her. Sokka was a frontrunner as well, but it wasn’t really a surprise. He remembered the way Y/N had spoken about them, how close they were — they had every right to hate him, but it still hurt. All he could do was hope to repair it.

And he was trying his hardest to do so. He regained his bending with Aang and the two of them came back stronger than ever in terms of firebending. Toph never really had a grudge against him — even though she ragged on him as much as he deserved for burning her feet — so she was mostly fine with him, and he gave Katara her space. He was going to fix that situation, but after the way she threatened him, Zuko figured a lot of time was needed before he even tried.

As far as Sokka, he didn’t know where he stood with the Water Tribe boy. He knew it would take some time, but what he didn’t know was that this was where he was going to end up not even a day after Sokka asked him about Fire Nation prisons.

“Pretty clouds,” Sokka observed.

On a war balloon. Alone, with only Sokka for company, and a deadly mission ahead of them.

“Yeah… fluffy.”

…It was certainly his most interesting vacation.

Zuko’s head jerked up when Sokka murmured something and his brows creased. “What?”

Sokka glanced up at him, that iciness back once again. “You know this doesn’t mean I like you now.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I… I figured.”

“I’m just doing this with you because you wouldn’t leave me alone and I needed your war balloon.” He crossed his arms and set his jaw. “I haven’t forgiven you for anything that you’ve done.”

“I know,” Zuko sighed, and for a moment the only thing that filled the air was the sound of his firebending. “At least I can help with this.”

“I know how to work a war balloon,” Sokka said, and he rapped his knuckles against the side of the wood. “My friend designed these things. I would’ve figured out how to make the fire if you weren’t here.”

Zuko raised his eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “No kidding. One of your friends designed these war balloons?”

Sokka looked up at him, his gaze calculating as if he was trying to gauge the truth of his interest.

“Yeah,” he said eventually. “I helped him polish it up, figure out how to control the hot air. It’s just a balloon, but for war.”

“Well, If there’s one thing my dad’s good at, it’s war,” Zuko muttered.

“Yeah, it seems to run in the family.”

Zuko frowned and his tone turned defensive. “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that.”

“I know, I know.” Sokka gestured with his hand. “You’ve changed.”

“I meant my uncle,” Zuko said. “He was more of a father to me, and I really let him down.”

“Well… I think your uncle would be proud of you.” Sokka crossed his arms yet again and he looked out at the sky, not wanting to meet Zuko’s eyes as he actually said something nice. “Leaving your home to come help us? That’s hard.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“Really? You didn’t leave anyone behind you cared about?”

Zuko shrugged. “There was one girl, Mai. We were dating, but… it felt more like something forged out of expectations rather than love. It felt like we were putting on a front for the approval of our parents rather than being together for ourselves. I still care about her as a friend, though. Enough that I didn’t want to get her caught up in this mess.”

“And…” he swallowed the lump in his throat as his expression turned downcast. “There was Y/N. She was— she still is— the only girl I’ve ever loved, the way I love her. Ever since I was a child. But I ruined anything we could’ve possibly had together, and now… now, I have no idea where she is, and wherever she is, she hates me.”

Sokka hummed. “She has every right to.”

Zuko glared at him. “You’re really not good at this making people feel better thing.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel better,” he said. “I know you’re trying to become a good guy or whatever, but you deserve to feel bad for what you did. For a pretty long time, too.”

Zuko braced his hand against his forehead as he turned away. “I know. I just can’t stop thinking about her— about how I treated her, and that the last thing I said to her was that…”

He trailed off, and Sokka raised his eyebrows. “What?”

Zuko sighed again and let his hands hang off the side of the boat. “I said that I never loved her.”

“Tui’s gills, man!” Sokka exclaimed. “Yeah, of course she’s gonna hate you for saying something like that. Geez, you go all in when you’re upset, huh?”

“I didn’t mean it!” Zuko defended as he whirled around. “I— I was just angry at everything, and I wanted to forget her, and I thought that if I said it then it would become true and I would finally be able to move on. But,” he heaved a weary sigh as he sat down, his gaze downcast, “I don’t want to move on. I just want to see her again and apologize for everything. I don’t know if it’ll ever be enough, but I have to try.”

The silence weighed heavily between them yet again, with Zuko staring at the ground and Sokka’s gaze softening ever so slightly as he looked at him.

“I think you still have a chance,” he said, and Zuko’s eyes widened slightly.

“What?”

“I think you still have a chance,” he repeated. “As much as I hate to say it, Y/N cared about you. A lot. Like, she talked about you constantly when we were all together, a lot. It was honestly kind of annoying.”

“So what’s your point?” he grumbled.

Sokka sighed. “My point is that you two had a bond— the kind of bond where she risked everything just because of how she felt about you. That kind of bond… it doesn’t just go away.”

“Do you think she’ll even care?” Zuko asked. “After all I’ve done, how can you know she’ll even want to listen to me? How do you know I haven’t completely lost her?”

Sokka was quiet for a moment before he asked a single question. “Do you still love her?”

Zuko answered without hesitation. “With all my heart.”

“Then there’s still time. You haven’t lost her yet.”

He gave him a rare smile and nodded. “Thanks, Sokka. That actually helped.”

He shrugged and looked away. “I mean, it could always be worse. My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

“…That’s rough, buddy.”

Their mission was going about as well as one would think. They had crashed their war balloon leaving them with no way out, nearly gotten discovered seconds after stealing uniforms, and got caught up in a fight in the courtyard, but in the scheme of things they were still on track.

After dropping off a prisoner they had reunited on one of the balconies overlooking the courtyard, where Sokka was diligently scanning the entire field for any sign of his father.

“Sokka,” Zuko whispered, managing to grab his attention. “Listen, I asked around the lounge, and they said that there’s one Water Tribe prisoner here — a waterbender transferred here personally by my sister. Does that sound like it could be your dad?”

He shook his head anxiously. “No, my dad’s not a waterbender. Are— are you sure that’s the only one? Did you double-check?”

“Yeah,” Zuko confirmed. “I’m sure.”

“No,” Sokka muttered, turning away dejectedly. He banged his fists against the wall out of anger. “No! We came all this way for nothing. I failed again.”

“Um, what would Uncle say?” Zuko thought aloud as he stroked his chin. “Sometimes, clouds have two sides; a dark and a light, and a silver lining in between. So… when life seems hard, take a bite out of the silver sandwich!”

Sokka looked wholly disinterested during his whole monologue, but when he directed his gaze back to the courtyard he gasped, his grip tightening on the railing. “Maybe we haven’t failed after all.”

“That’s the spirit!” Zuko grinned. “I can’t believe that worked; I didn’t even know what I was saying.”

“No, what you said made no sense at all— but look!”

Zuko craned his head to see where Sokka was pointing and his eyes widened when he saw what was talking about it.

It was her.

Standing slightly off to the side idly chatting with another girl, a little worse for wear with a black eye, but alive.

“She’s here,” Zuko muttered, equal parts awestruck, relieved, and terrified.

“Y/N is the waterbender you heard about! And do you see who she’s with?” Sokka questioned excitedly. “She’s with Suki! Our girls are here, Zuko. They’re okay!”

As Sokka started to spout off his plan, Zuko listened dimly, unable to take his eyes off of Y/N.

Her eye looked like it was healing, but he gauged that at its initial stage it was something nasty. Seeing her in the red prison jumpsuit was strange — he wondered why she had been transferred here instead of somewhere more resistant to waterbenders, but he pushed logic aside and allowed himself to revel in the temporary relief.

She was here, and she was alive.

Zuko could only hope she was willing to try again with him.

Y/N heaved another sigh as she rolled onto her back, unable to get comfortable on the slab she called a bed. It was near impossible to fall asleep without the familiar presence of her friends; the soft sounds of their breaths, just the knowledge that they were there with her, was something sorely missed during her prison days. It didn’t help that her cell had been modified to constantly be pumping in dry air so she couldn’t bend — it was a constant reminder of what she lacked, but she suspected it was just in case it magically came back.

Princess Azula truly despised her.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes, resigning herself to the fact that sleep wasn’t going to come, when her cell door was pushed open. As a guard stepped in, every one of her senses flared up in alert and she immediately darted up from her bed. This couldn’t be anything good.

“I didn’t do anything,” Y/N declared immediately, her voice carrying a bitter edge. She angled herself in such a way that if he did try something, she would hold the advantage. “Nothing that Pao says is ever true, and if you lay a hand on me—”

“What? No, I—“ He paused, and she swore she knew his voice. “Y/N, it’s me!” The guard took off his mask, and she felt her heart stop.

“Zuko?” She hated the way his appearance sent that familiar flutter through her chest but she forced her feelings down, instead focusing on the venom coursing through her veins.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Zuko winced at her harsh tone, his momentarily smile gone as quickly as it appeared. “Spirits, I can’t even get away from you in prison— what, did you come here to gloat?”

“No!” he exclaimed, raising his hands in an effort at placation. “Why would I do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know!” By now she was yelling, unable to contain her rage. “I guess anything is possible with the guy who completely betrayed me!”

“Y/N, quiet down!” he cautioned, casting an instinctive glance to the door. “Someone is going to hear you!”

“Oh?” By now her eyes were blazing, and she raised her arms up as if to challenge him. “Well, maybe I should just get even louder! Think everyone can hear me yet?”

“What are you doing?!” Zuko hissed, heat beginning to emanate off of him as his eyes darted back to the door once more.

“GUAR—“ she began to shout but Zuko lunged forward and clamped his hand over her mouth, an action that confused her into cooperation.

“We’re here to get you out!” he whispered frantically. “Now will you please calm down?”

The fire in her eyes died down slightly but she still batted his hand away and stood a step back. “‘We’?”

“Sokka and I.”

“You brought Sokka here?” she accused before mentally backing up. “Wait, how are you even with Sokka in the first place?”

“No— spirits, could you let me explain before you get on my case?” He took her silence as a sign to continue. “I left the Fire Nation, and Aang accepted me as his firebending teacher. Sokka thinks his dad is in here because he got captured during the invasion, so he wanted to come here to try and break him out. I came with him because I didn’t want him going on a suicide mission. We haven’t been able to find him, but we did find you and Suki. Sokka’s guarding the door right now while we talk, then we’re gonna find her and talk her through the plan as well.”

“If Sokka’s out there, why am I not talking to him?” She crossed her arms and Zuko sighed, averting eye contact.

“Because I wanted to talk to you,” he admitted quietly. “Y/N, no amount of apologies will be able to get across how sorry I am for what I did to you. There are so many horrible things that I’ve done, but I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you. I will spend the rest of my life regretting what I did to you. I—” he swallowed the lump in his throat, “I still love you. I never stopped loving you. And I’m so, so sorry that I ever made you think differently.”

Her fingers unconsciously found their way to the small scar on her forearm and her gaze turned downcast.

How long had she waited to hear those words from him? How many times, on her journey through the Earth Kingdom to the Northern Tribe, had she imagined him saying those words to her? Spirits, at some of her lowest points, the thought of seeing him again, the thought of hearing those words, was the only thing that got her up and moving again.

And here she was, four years later. Zuko standing in front of her, baring his heart for the first time since they were children. Saying that he loved her, that he had always loved her.

But despite his earnesty, Y/N could only think of what happened in the catacombs. What happened in the Fire Nation.

Why she was here in the first place. The things he said to her.

Y/N swallowed thickly as she took a step back, her arms wrapping tightly around her midsection. “Send Sokka in right now, or I will call the guards.” Her voice had lost all the fierceness it possessed moments ago, her words instead carved in a cold, unforgiving anger.

“Y/N—”

“Now.”

With one last desperate glance back at her, Zuko obeyed her wishes, closing the door quietly behind him where he met a concerned Sokka.

“That didn’t sound like it went well.”

Zuko shook his head, his attempt at stoicism failing as he took his place at the wall. “She won’t listen to me. She wants to talk to you, but we have to make it quick so we can make it to Suki before we get caught.”

Sokka swallowed and nodded, trying to prepare himself to go in. He was overjoyed that she was alive within their reach, obviously, but he had a feeling it would hurt a lot more to see what the past couple months at the mercy of the Fire Nation had done to her.

“It’s okay,” Zuko murmured, noticing his apprehension. “She’ll be happy to see you. I know it.”

Sokka nodded once more, and before he could question himself he pushed open the cell door and walked in.

Her eyes flicked up from the ground, her arms falling from their protective positions as a relieved smile tugged at her lips.

“You really are here,” he whispered, his voice a mix of disbelief and pure happiness. “You’re—”

He wasn’t granted the chance to finish his sentence as she tore across the room and enveloped him in the tightest hug possible. Though it got a grunt out of Sokka, he immediately reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her with the same vigor.

“I’m so happy you’re okay,” she whispered, tears brimming in her eyes. “But this is the stupidest thing that you have ever done.”

Sokka laughed as he squeezed her tighter, and she had almost forgotten how much she missed that dumb little laugh after every bad joke he made, and the way that he always hugged her a little too tight.

(She didn’t think that would be a problem anymore — Sokka’s hugs always felt like a safety blanket, but now she felt like she could cry with how needed that comfort was. She was pretty sure she would annoy him, hugging him over every little thing, just to make sure she never forgot that feeling.)

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he muttered, taking a step back to look over her with concerned eyes. “Are you okay? What happened to your eye?”

“Neither can I,” she chuckled mirthlessly. “I’m as good as I can be, I guess. Still alive, which is all I can really ask for here.” She gestured to her eye lazily and sighed. “Let’s just say that people here don’t take too kindly to outsiders, especially when they work with the Avatar.”

“I’m so sorry that this happened to you,” Sokka said quietly. “I— I wish that I had been down there that night. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten caught up in this whole mess.”

“It’s not your fault, Sokka. You can’t blame yourself for something you weren’t involved in.” She smiled weakly. “And besides, I’m still here. I’m okay.”

“Of course you are.” Sokka’s hands hovered over her shoulders, like he didn’t know how fragile she was. Like if he even looked at her the wrong way, she would break like glass. “The Fire Nation’s never been able to take you down.”

“I mean… I am in an inescapable Fire Nation prison. I think they got me there,” she said dryly.

Sokka snapped his fingers and took a step back. “Right! Except it’s not inescapable, because we’re gonna bust you out of here..”

“You— you are?” she asked, surprised. “How long have you been here?”

He shrugged. “Half a day, give or take.”

And for some reason, that was the thing that got her. Her eyes filled with tears and she pulled him back into a hug so tight she was sure he couldn’t breathe, but right now Y/N didn’t really care.

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, a watery laugh breaking through.

“I missed you too,” he said back, just as softly, and she didn’t even have to look at him to know he was on the brink of tears as well. “Azula— she used you against me. I thought you were dead, Y/N. I don’t know what I would’ve done if she… if it was true.”

She frowned as she pulled away. “She used— what do you mean?”

Sokka swallowed thickly. “She said you were a prisoner. That— that you were tortured, and through it all you called out my name. Like I should’ve been there, and— and I should have. I should have been there to protect you, but I wasn’t, and now you’ve been through all of this…”

Sokka shook his head again. “I am so sorry, Y/N. I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”

She smiled and laughed, a bit breathless. “No complaints here.”

“But I have been wondering,” Sokka said suddenly, “why did Azula put you here? It’s either really cocky or really stupid to put a waterbender in a prison surrounded by water, no matter how many guards there are. Have you tried to escape yourself?”

Y/N’s expression sobered and she turned away a bit. Her bending was still the sorest of subjects — every day, when she would be out in the courtyard, she would feel even more useless about not being able to do anything but stare out at the water.

“It’s… it’s gone.” She saw Sokka’s eyes widen out of her peripherals and she wrapped her arms around her midsection. “My bending is gone, and Azula put me here as one last way to rub salt in the wound that keeps growing.”

“What?” There was real concern in both his gaze and his voice, but Y/N couldn’t even stand to look at him. Not when she was incapable of even the most basic things. “Your bending— it’s gone?”

“I don’t know,” she said with a mirthless chuckle. “I— I don’t know. It happened after I was imprisoned in the Fire Nation— maybe it’s because I’m so weak, or maybe it’s because I haven’t practiced it in so long, or maybe it’s a million other things, but all I do know is that I can’t bend anything. So I can’t help you with that.”

“Y/N.” Sokka reached for her hand and she let him take it, a comforting warmth in it. “Zuko… he lost his bending when he first joined us. I know you don’t want anything to do with him, but maybe he could help you get it back.”

She scoffed as she pulled her hand away. “Sokka, I’d rather lose my bending forever than work with him. I don’t want to be around him— not after what he did.”

He sighed and gave her a look that could only be described as brotherly, the same one he gave Katara whenever she wanted to do something stupid.

“You’re hurting, Y/N, I know. And— and you’re allowed to be angry, and to hate Zuko, and to want absolutely nothing to do with him, but I won’t let you hurt yourself because of it.” At her silence, Sokka continued. “You need to get out of here, and you need to get your bending back. You’re gonna have to work with Zuko to do both of those things, and then you can go back to hating him. But just— hold out for a few more days.”

“He burned me in the catacombs,” Y/N whispered, and she held out her arm for him to see the scar from the attack. “He burned me just to get the upper hand, just like he did in the Earth Kingdom. I’m in here because of him. I’ve never mattered to him, not if he could just throw me away like this. So why should I give him even a second of my time?”

“Because hurting yourself will do nothing for you,” he said decisively. “If you want to get back at Zuko, then you have to get out of here first. And as much as I hate to say it…” Sokka sighed and shook his head, “my plan won’t work without him. So let him help me get you and Suki out of here, figure out a way to get your bending back, and then you can bring down all your fury on him.”

She glanced away, her gaze pointed towards the floor for a good long moment before she finally spoke.

“You really have a way to get out of here?”

Sokka nodded. “I just need maybe a little longer to work out the kinks, but it’ll be solid. It’ll get us all out of here; the two of us and you and Suki.”

Y/N sighed and looked back at Sokka. “Okay. I’ll work with him to get out of here, but nothing more.”

“I’m not asking you for anything more,” Sokka said. But then he smiled, and he chuckled a bit. “It’s so good to see you again. It’s… it’s been hard without you.”

She frowned. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s really taken a toll on Katara. She blames herself for what happened because she was down in the catacombs with you.” His voice got quieter. “We both do.”

“It’s not either of your faults,” she said. “It’s the Fire Nation’s fault. It’s Zuko’s fault.”

“I’m just glad we found you,” he said. “You and Suki.” Sokka smiled a bit. “Has she been keeping you on track?”

Y/N laughed. “I’d say so. She’s the reason this,” she pointed at her eye, “isn’t a whole lot worse. I owe a lot to her.”

“We’re gonna get you both out of here,” he said again. “And as much as I don’t want to leave—”

“You have to,” she nodded. “Go talk to her. I’ll be okay. I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

Sokka chuckled again and nodded. “I know.”

He pulled Y/N into one last hug before he left, and she caught a glimpse of Zuko on the other side as Sokka closed the door softly behind himself.

Her cell felt a lot quieter, lonelier, colder without Sokka. She knew he would be coming back, but she missed him already. She’d always hated being alone, but it hurt more now than ever before.

But it gave her the chance to let her walls down. She collapsed onto her bed as the tears quietly wracked her body, forcing herself to stay silent as they trailed down her face. It was one thing to be heard yelling, it was another thing to be seen showing this much weakness.

Weeks, months of pent up emotions began to show themselves, greedy after finally being granted an outlet. Seeing Sokka on its own was emotional enough, but Zuko was a whole different situation.

Y/N thought that finally getting to yell at him would’ve made her feel better in some way, but it only succeeded in making it all worse. She didn’t feel happy, cleansed, righteous.

She felt nothing.

The hours blended together until the wells in her eyes ran dry, and somewhere along the path she managed to fall into a restless sleep. Some part of her was angry that he hadn’t fought back the way she did, that he hadn’t yelled back — she wanted something physical to hold against him, something to make it easier to hate him than the abstract betrayal. Maybe that was stupid. It was even more stupid of him to think he had any chance of a civil conversation with her after what he did.

Maybe she would have to work with him to get out of this place, band together under a temporary truce in order to officially cleanse herself of the prisoner brand. She could put herself through that if the reward at the end of it all was getting her life back.

But not anything more.

Y/N had vowed to never let Zuko in again.

And she never broke her vows.

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